#characters are falling to places we will never see them rise from

[mobydyke]

black sails season 4 is The Worst™️ because after every episode I need to go lie down for 5 hours but I also immediately need to know what happens next

[generalsmemories]

Unwanted reunion

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ prompts: “catching the other one crying shortly after an argument and immediately feeling an overwhelming wave of guilt crash onto you.” + "it's okay, we can fix this..." + “playing with their hair until they fall asleep”|| 1k event

✧ contents: hurt/comfort, angst, established relationship, implied character death

✧ a/n: if u wonder how in the world i came up with the scenario below. i genuinely don't know either it's a mystery to even me. CREATIVE LIBERTY WINS AGAIN THE PROMPTS WERE LITERALLY INSPO AND NOT WRITTEN DIRECTLY INTO THE SCENARIO. also implied that this took place after the battle with phantylia so keep that in mind.

NOT BETA-READ AS USUAL FELLAS I WANTED TO HAND THIS OVER TO YA'LL ASAP AS AN APOLOGY FOR STARVING YOU ALL FOR SO LONG!! it's mild angst though, so sorry.

Jing Yuan's can feel a familiar heaviness weigh on his body as well as the feeling of someone wrapping a roll of gauze on his arm. However opening his eyes proved to be a challenge in itself and it's only with great struggle that he can manage to force them slightly open to the bright light.

The first thing he notices is the familiar ceiling of your shared home. A bit weird since whenever he did get injured he would immediately be rushed towards a private room by the Seat of Divine Foresight - which was the safest place for him to stay. Perhaps you had gotten your will again to take care of him - seeing as you're a high ranking healer yourself and quite a stubborn soul.

But his eyes still widen a tiny bit when he sees you sitting by the edge of the bed, one hand gripping his gauzed wound while your other hand is busy trying to find something to keep your hard work in place. You're humming a soft tune again, he never knows what sort of melody you're humming, only that it had become a habit for you after the amount of years you had spent by his side bandaging his battle wounds. Something about helping your mood and staying positive.

"Your recklessness knows no bounds, Jing Yuan." the sternness of your voice snaps him out of the daze he's in, immediately rising up from the bed only to groan in pain when the wounds that you had just wrapped up react to his body folding, "... And still don't know when to rest - even when I'm in the middle of treating you."

"...How much time has passed?" he asks, voice hoarse after having slept for who knows how long. You only hum, setting the bandages aside - the gesture causing Jing Yuan to follow your hand movements which makes him notice the bloodied bandages inside the trash by your legs.

"A couple of days, I was just finishing changing your bandages when you finally woke up. Here, some water." you inform, raising a glass towards his lips, patiently waiting for him to move closer.

You only start to speak again after he's taken several gulps, placing the cup of water back on the nightstand beside his bed. "Why are you so willing to throw your life away?" you ask after a moment of silence, helping Jing Yuan rest against the headboard, eyes never leaving his own that don't dare to even look into your own.

"It's my duty-"

"Your duty is to make sure as many of the Cloud Knights survive a battle. Not gamble your life on a piece that you weren't sure had the capabilities to help."

Jing Yuan bites his tongue at your immediate rebuttal, you were right after all. "The Master Diviner was right there by you. A troop was enough to guard the entrance, you didn't need to leave the master diviner with them to go on this-"

"... Can't you be happy for once whenever we meet like this?" he asks quietly, effectively stopped you from saying anything more. His gaze is cast downwards whenever he mutters the same question to you whilst shrinking a bit after asking. There's no sign of the proud general in your presence - in front of you is just Jing Yuan asking a supposedly harmless question.

Perhaps that's the reason why you can never shove him away immediately.

"... You know what my answer is."

Jing Yuan was no crier. In fact, you think he stopped crying or showing any visible sign of discomfort or uneasiness the day he got the title as General. You're pretty sure you can count the amount of times you've seen Jing Yuan cry on one hand.

Perhaps his ability to hide his own needs and wants so often day by day for the past centuries makes your dismissal of his simple wishes that more gut-wrenching for you. You try to ignore the overwhelming guilt that washes over you every time you have to say the same thing to him.

"... You have a lot of things that you want to get done on the Luofu, Jing Yuan." you murmur softly, extending a hand to run your fingers through his locks, breaking apart any knots that may have formed in his sleep.

"You know we can meet again, but now is not the time - especially now," you gently remind with a sombre smile, your hand moving from his hair to rest against his chin to make him face you.

"It's gonna be alright, okay?" he scoffs at your reassurance, finally coming to terms with your conditions once again like always, wrapping his arms around your waist to fall down back on the bed with you on top.

"Remember the last time you said those words to me?" he says, almost sounding offended at your choice of words to which you only smile against his skin in guilt.

"It was the first time I saw you cry so hard," you try to joke, pressing your hands against the mattress to push yourself off of Jing Yuan, choosing to hover above him instead.

"... I'm sorry," you decide to say in the end after a moment of silence, once again threading your fingers through his hair - an act you knew used to calm him before. At this moment though, you're not so sure.

"Why? Shouldn't I be sorry?" he asks in return, a small yawn leaving his lips as his eyes struggle to stay open. You smile bitterly as you shake your head, still threading your fingers through his hair.

"No, none of it was your fault - what happened back then was out of your control. But this time it isn't. I can wait for a long time, Jing Yuan. I know you're aware of that so don't try to rush anything to meet me again." you tell him, leaning down to press your lips against his forehead.

"So it's time to wake up, dear. Luofu is waiting for you."

[pit-and-the-pen]

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart (Pt 2 to unrequited love)

A/n: HERE IT IS BESTIES!!! The official Pt 2 to unrequited love! I know the poll is still live but I’m impatient. So to make sure I’m still taking everyone’s votes into account there will be an alternate ending that should be posted right after this.

Read the Alt ending here, it's pretty similar in places

Read Pt 3 here

I'm still absolutely blown away by how well-received the first part was. This is going to be an ongoing series, all could be read individually but the "background" will be these two fics.

Warnings: Angst, Cursing, reader suffers from depressed thoughts

WC: ~3.4k

divder by @cafekitsune

The next morning I was in Rhys office. He barely even looked up from the paper strewn over his desk before I spoke. 

“I’m going back home.” 

He sighed, leaning back into his chair. His eyes raked over me, “Does this have anything to do with why Azriel was so huffy this morning?” His eyebrow raised and I felt the anger I’d been trying to quell since last night rise its head up like a sleeping dragon.

“Fuck off. Let him be mad if he wants to be mad.” I snapped. 

“Mad isn’t exactly how I would put it,” He paused looking at me. “What happened?” The High Lord questioned. I sighed not having the strength to recount the events from last night. 

“Nothing but the inevitable.” he frowned at my non-answer but didn’t press any harder. 

“I’ll miss you. We all will.” He said finally. I nodded. 

“You all should visit.” Not an I’ll visit. No. If I could avoid it I would never step foot into this miserable court ever again. 

I was gone by mid-morning. Mor had helped me winnow the things I wanted to take with me. What they did with the rest wasn’t any of my concern. Rhys or Feyre had bought it all for me anyways, let them decide what to do with their money. 

Once I had gotten settled into my room, I hugged Mor goodbye and thanked her for her help. She just gave me a tighter hug and told me she would visit soon. 

It was two weeks before I could see Helion.Two weeks of settling back into my court that I loved so dearly.  He was visiting Dawn court for some trade agreement that needed to be signed. I came by every day, asking if he’d returned you. His second would just silently shake her head at me. And I would stomp back to my room like an angry babe. 

Two weeks of checking before I finally saw her nod her head and I had to stop myself from running into Helions office. I had the control to at least knock on the door but not much else. I quickly shut the door behind me as he called me in. 

“Sunbeam!” He called out when saw my face. “I had hoped the rumors of you moving back home were true.” He walked around the desk and gave me a brisk hug. Very out of character for him. 

“You’re not an easy man to schedule an appointment with, Helion.” I smiled warmly at the High Lord of my court. 

“If you wanted a piece of me, you only had to say the words and I would have come running darling.” There's the flirt I remember. I thought, rolling my eyes.

“But judging by your urgency in requesting a meeting that my second expressed to me, I’m going to assume that’s not what you wanted to see me for.”

My smile dropped as I braced myself for the question I needed to ask him.

“I need you to break a mating bond”

His mouth fell open. For once in my life, Helion was speechless. “I don’t know if I can even do that. Are you sure that’s what you want?” His eyes saw right through me. I threw my head back, a sad laugh bubbling past my lips. 

“Yes. No. Gods I don’t know. I just don’t want it to hurt like this forever.” I felt treacherous tears starting to fall down my face. Helion grabbed my arms gently before I could wipe them away. 

“I know you well enough to know that you don’t run away from hard things.” He held me against his chest as I really started to sob. 

“Helion. Every second that I’m away from him it kills me. I’m over here dying inside over some male who only ever saw me as a second option.” 

“Then he’s an idiot. But the mother still saw fit to make you two mates. Give it some more thought, you’re clearly still not fully decided. I’ll do some research to see if it’s even possible and if you still want to, I’ll be here to help.” I nodded my thanks into his shirt. He takes my head between his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe the tears still streaking down my face. He gives me a gentle kiss on the top of my head before I walk out of the room. 

I sat on the decision for a month. A month of volleying back and forth. Weighting the pros and cons of my choice. I had started doing my own research through the tomes in the library I had access to. My eyes widened as I finally found the information I needed. 

Picking up the book I all but sprinted to Helion’s office. I didn't bother knocking as I pushed past the door. Helion looked up from his desk and raised an eyebrow at me. 

Panting, I showed him the page in the book. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my whole life.” I promised him. He still looked skeptical but walked around to where I stood anyway. 

“I can’t say this is going to be pleasant.” He said wearily as I laid down on the couch in his study. “I’ve never heard of anyone doing this. I’ve seen rejection but this is cutting off the magic at the source.”

I looked into the males eyes, eyes I had known my whole life.

“Please. Nothing can hurt more than this already does.” Sympathy washed over his face and he leaned over me, placing a hand to each of my temples. It felt like the worst headache I had ever had in my life. My head was being split open and I heard the whimper leave my mouth. The pressure of his hands lifted slightly and I fought to get out the words. “I’m okay. Keep going.” I couldn’t open my eyes to see his face but his hands didn’t move. The pounding broke to a burning heat. I could feel the moment it snapped, I could almost picture the scissors snipping that tight string that connected us. One last fleeting rush of pure pain pushed through the bond. And then it was gone. My head was still pounding, I opened my eyes and saw Helion panted above me. 

“How do you feel?” He asked, helping me into a sitting position. 

“Like I have one hell of a hangover.” I pressed a hand to the bridge of my nose. Like I could squeeze out the uncomfortable feeling. “But also lighter.” My free hand going to my chest. It would take some time to adjust to this new feeling. But I could not stop the smile that spread over my face. Before Helion could say anything else, I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck.

“I can’t thank you enough.” I said into his neck. He gave a tight laugh and hugged me back. 

“You should go sleep this off. Please tell me if any of the pain gets worse.” He held my face between his hands and I nodded as much as I could. I all but floated back to my room. 

I fell into a familiar routine back in the Day Court. I took up my old job as a researcher. My days were spent surrounded by the massive libraries of my home court. People would come to us with questions and it was our job to use the knowledge at our disposal to find them answers. It kept me busy at the very least, but I did have to admit that I love doing it. I felt more useful here than I ever had at the Night Court. Pangs of sadness would rip through me when someone snarked in a way that made me think of Cassian. When someone would smirk and I could only picture Rhysand standing in front of me as he beat me in chess. The art was so beautiful that I longed to show Feyre if only to see that twinkle in eye as she dissected the colors and shading used. 

I smiled as the pang in my chest at the thought of Azriel held no pain. It had taken me some time to get used to the emptiness in my chest, I had grown so used to the hollow feeling of the unreturned bond but this emptiness wasn’t pain but instead it was like a weight had been taken off my chest. 

Someone calling my name pulled me from my musing. One of the messengers, Dia, smiled brightly up at me. “Hey sunbeam. Helion asked me to deliver this to you.” I took the golden envelope from her. I thanked her and she turned around, leaving me back to my books. 

I slid my finger under the seal and pulled out the letter. He was flirty even in a letter. He had requested that I accompany him to the latest ball he was hosting. Helion, ever the charmer, even placed boxes for me to check yes or no. I giggled to myself at the juvenile nature of it, but checked yes with the quill sitting next to me. 

The ball was just a few days away and I was so excited as dress after dress were brought into my room for me to try on. The one that ended up catching my eye was a floor length glossimer dress, such a pale golden color it looked almost like sunlight itself. The bottom was dyed a light pink color that flowed into it seamlessly. It took my breath away as I smoothed out the light fabric. It fit like a glove and I knew instantly this was the dress I had to wear. 

My reflection looked like a stranger. My hair was pinned to one side, sweeping down over my shoulder and my back. A golden tiara was woven into loose curls. Long golden chandelier earrings studded with diamonds almost touched my shoulders. The sun had created a sultry blush on the high points of my cheeks. I looked happier than I had in years. I sensed Helion's presence in my room and caught his eyes in the floor length mirror. 

He let out a low whistle and I blushed, adjusting my tiara. I walked over to him and he held out his hand for me, twirling me around dramatically when I took it. “No one will be able to take their eyes off of you, Sunbeam.” His eyes hungirly raked over me, “If you ever reconsider my offer. I would take you to bed in a heartbeat. Just say the words.” I pushed his shoulder, I didn’t doubt his words. 

“Keep your pants on Helion. We have a ball to get to.” 

“I’m High Lord. I can be late.” His pupils had dilated and I rolled my eyes, pushing him out the door before I linked my arm into his. 

The ball was as lavish as I had expected. There was much to celebrate and this was mostly to welcome the new High Lord. Eris. Beron had finally died a few months back and Eris had officially stepped into the role with grace. The autumn court once known for its cruelty seemed to be taking a new direction and as I talked to nobility from the court, it was for the better. I had gotten to know him over the years, his frequent visits to the Night Court, plus a few flirty exchanges that I always brushed off, while he was helping us during the war softened me to him. Learning the true events of that night with Mor. 

I locked eyes with Eris across the room. He had been heartbreakingly handsome when he was just High Fae but as a High Lord? His hair had grown slightly longer, just touching his shoulders. Dressed in a deep maroon suit that showed off every single one of his muscles. The permanent scowl that had been etched into his face had been replaced with a smile that radiated comfort. My feet seemed to move without deciding to. Eris kept his eyes locked onto mine as I got closer. My cheeks heated up under his intense stare. 

“Hi little sunbeam,” Honeyed words wrapped around me. “Seems like you’re no longer hiding in the shadows.” He held out his hand, eyes flickering to the dance floor. I smiled up at him and gently placed my hand in his. 

His touch was firm and the warmth of his power radiated off of him. He clutched my waist, pulling me flush to his front. I felt every plane of his toned body pressed against me and goosebumps broke out across my skin having nothing to do with the temperature in the room. The two of us gilded across the floor. I could feel the eyes of the room on us but I only had eyes for the male in front of me. 

“If I had known you danced this good, I would have pulled you out of that miserable court a long time ago.” He spoke into the shell of my ear.  “I’ll never understand what the Shadowslinger was thinking, even I could smell the mating bond on you. Plus, one look at me with those beautiful doe eyes and I would have been putty in your hands.” He nipped at my earlobe and I felt it deep in my stomach. 

“Well good thing he’s not my mate anymore.” I whispered back to him, voice breathy. He responded with a kiss to my neck. All of a sudden I felt his warmth disappear. Before I could even process what had happened, I was standing half ways across the room. Eris just smirked, eyes twinkling with mischief. 

“Stand down, you overgrown bat.” The High Lord said and that’s when I heard the growl from my side, caught a glimpse of wings and sapphire blue. Before another word could leave my mouth, I was being pulled out of the ballroom and outside to the balcony. 

I thrashed against Azriel’s grip on my arm. His hand wrapped around my wrist tight enough to bruise. 

“What the hel was that?” He yelled at me, finally letting go of my wrist.

“You had no right!” I screeched at him. Anger seethed through me. I felt my palms heat up from the light trying to escape from them. He went to grab my arm and I ripped it back from his reach. “Don’t you fucking dare.” 

“Please.” Was all he said and suddenly it was like that night all over again. Me pouring my heart out and all he could say was please. 

“Please what, Azriel? Is that all you know how to do, beg and plead. For what? Was breaking my heart once not enough for you.” 

“Gods. What do you want me to say?” He ran his hands through his hair. He looked like he was about to lose it. Good. “Do you want to hear how I was fucking terrified. How any good thing that I had ever received had been taken away from me? That when I felt that twinge in my chest, that I knew what it meant but prayed to the gods that it wasn’t that.” I went to start in on him again. “Would hearing that I looked for you in every female I came across help us here?.” 

“Stop. Just stop. I’m sure you’ve rehearsed this all before but do you actually think I’m stupid enough to believe it?” I spit out between my teeth. 

“No. Gods this is coming out all wrong.” He ran a frantic hand through his hair. I clocked the shake in them “Why did you break the bond?”

I laughed at his audacity. “Why? You have the nerve to ask me why?” My voice dripped venom, “I did it because I couldn’t stand being tied to you like that. That night..” I started, he interrupted me.

“I said the most vile things I could think of. I panicked when you told me about the bond. If you could feel it too, I knew nothing good could have come from that so I pushed you away.” I shook my head, as if I could shake his words away from my ears. 

“You seemed so shocked when I told you.” 

His head sunk down, voice small “I was shocked because no part of me believed, believes, that I deserve you in that way.” When he stepped forward, I didn’t step away. Mind too busy catching up with his words. “Please say something. “ 

I turned my eyes up to look at him. Hazel eyes soft sparkling with unshed tears. I wanted to rip into him. I truly did. Some sick part of me wanted to make him hurt like he had hurt me but I know that wouldn’t fix anything here. What is done was done. 

“You don’t get to do this to me. You don’t get to say all the right things and just have me forgive you. You don’t get to say that you love me after everything you did.” He sighed. Leaning his head on top of mine. I frowned at the contact, but didn’t push him away, refusing to melt into him. “Whatever your reason. You said all those things that you knew would hurt me, you said them and some part of you had to believe them.” 

“I know. There isn’t a day that I don’t regret everything that I said, everything I had put you through over all those years. I took you for granted and I didn’t realize how much I loved you until you were gone. Until I felt that bond being snatched away from me” I wanted to push him back but something in me let his words sink into my bones. 

“I had dreamed for so long how it would feel when I finally heard you say those words, And do you know what I feel?” His eyes glimmered with hope as I took a step away from him, out of his grasp. “Nothing. I feel nothing for you. Not anger, not contempt.” Tears slipped out of his eyes at my harsh words. “Of course I remember what it felt like before. Maybe some part of me will always love you in my own way but I’m not tied to you anymore and I have never been so thankful for something in my entire life.” He flinched like I had hit him.

“Do you really mean that?” His voice was so small it almost made me feel bad for him. Almost.

“I do.” I sucked in a heavy breath. “Look, we’ll most likely still have to see each other so I don’t want to end on a bad note. You were still one of my best friends for over a century and this doesn’t undo all of that but this,” I gesture between the two of us, “Will never be anything else but that, a friendship.” He gave me a sad smile. 

“I’ll take whatever you are willing to give me.” I turned to walk away and he reached for my arm, I grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before I walked back to the ball that was in full swing. 

I weaved in between bodies easily. Finding Eris with ease. Despite being in the middle of a conversation, he stepped away the moment he sensed my presence. Not sparing a glance to the fae surrounding him. 

“That’s all settled then?” He asked, giving me a once over. I nodded and took his hand again.

“I believe we were in the middle of a dance?” I pulled him against me, not realizing how much I missed the feeling of his heat against my skin. I placed my head on his chest. We didn’t so much as dance, more so swayed in place. Arms wrapped around each other. He tapped my chin with a gentle finger and I let him guide my mouth up to his. The kiss was soft and sweet, like holding your hands in front of a warm fire after a day in the cold. When I tried to deepen it, he laughed against my lips. I let out a shameless whine as he disconnected our lips. As I looked into his eyes, I felt the stirring of something familiar and for the first time, welcomed it as that hole in my chest was filled again.

Tagging people that seemed excited about pt. 2

@cleverzonkwombatsludge @yearninglustfully @myromanempiree @starsandsins @melmo567 @saltedcoffeescotch

[r-2-peepoo]

I love Anakin as a character but I think Star Wars as a whole needs to be less forgiving of him and his actions and I think Rex is the perfect character to explore this idea.

Rex wants to save his brothers more than anything and we know that he fails and never recovers from the trauma. It was an impossible task but he fought so hard for it. The clones don’t become a thriving community after the Empire falls. Few live to remember their sacrifice or that they were even there to begin with. They’re wiped off the map and that’s it and Rex just has the live with it.

Imagine realistically how you would feel if you were him and you learned that a huge reason why the Empire was even allowed to rise in the first place is because of the man who you trusted, who was one of your closest friends for three years, who convinced you that he thought of you as a person unlike the rest of the galaxy. I wouldn’t ever be able to look past it, and I don’t think Rex would or should either.

Obi Wan considers Anakin metaphorically dead because it’s the only way to cope with the grief.

Ahsoka has a more complicated view of him because of the distance leaving the Jedi order put between them.

Luke is able to forgive him in the only way that is narratively compelling, because he sees him as his father and not as the monster everyone else does.

Leia never forgives him (nor should she) but grows to understand him more over time.

Padme uses her dying breath to vouch for him even if he doesn’t deserve it.

If Rex didn’t forgive Anakin, it would offer yet another perspective. He is someone who loved Anakin, but Anakin is a huge reason why his brothers are dead. Anakin is the one who used his brothers as the tools they had always been told they were to march on the Jedi temple and murder the Jedi, the only allies the Clones ever truly had. Everything that happens during the reign of the Empire, including whatever goes down in the Bad Batch finale, is part of a huge domino effect because of Anakin’s choices. It would be tragic to see their friendship end this way, but Rex’s entire life is rife with tragedy. Ahsoka is the only positive result of his friendship with Anakin left. They only have each other.

I want Rex to be angry at him. Anakin’s actions are abhorrent and to downplay them only does Anakin a disservice as a character and denies his agency. Yes, he’s a victim of Palpatine’s grooming. He is also the perpetrator of a literal reign of terror and there are few groups of people who are bigger victims of the Empire he helped create than the clones.

[loveemagicpeace]

🩵Astrology Notes🌊

⛵️Leos are dramatic in a lot situations. And many times they turn the drama on themselves. Many times they also put themselves in the foreground or associate everything with them. I have also noticed that when they like someone they will seek the attention of that person in all possible ways.

♥️Sagittarius is often revived by coffee. And they also often have obsessions with the things they love, but this is more visible on the outside than with pisces.

🫧Venus is related to how we give and appreciate love. What someone's love interest is can be seen by Venus. Let's say someone who has venus in sagittarius will give love through activities-and through that you will want to show people your favorite places or share with them your favorite corners. You will always want to find passion and you will show it in love as well. Your love language is passion. Venus in Scoprio- you will share your hidden secrets and things that are personal with people. You will show deep love and want to do everything for the person you love. They will always sacrifice for you if they really love you.

🏝️When you have a Sagittarius, you can't decide where you actually want to live. You fall in love with several places and then you wish to be in several places at the same time. They almost always meet someone on the trip.

🩷Capricorn risings always look like something is bothering them or they give off a intimidating energy. And then people have a fearful approach to them (they don't dare approach them). Many times they don't know how to approach them. But they have a lot of power, which they emit and sometimes they are not aware of it. U have the power never forget that!

🎡Mercury in Scorpio people always investigate - even if it's someone they don't even know. But when they like someone, they want to know everything about that person. And the worst thing is when you don’t know the person's name or any personal information from the person you like.

🍰Jupiter in 4th house transit will show you a new home - & will make you feel as if your home is somewhere else. Maybe you will feel alienated from the home where you live and want to live somewhere else. You can travel to your favorite places or travel to a place you fall in love with. Maybe you'll find out where you'd rather live. You can travel somewhere for a long time. This transit is good for finding out where you see yourself living and what kind of home you really want.

🍍Leos are here for drama, of course so are the fiery signs, but Leos can be the most because it's interesting to them. And when someone starts arguing or something happens, you can see them taking pictures and filming hahah

🪴Virgo placements always look at how they look in public and how others look around them. They don't like someone acting crazy or embarrassing them. They prefer people who are normal / not so loud. And many times I notice that they worry about how they look.

🧸Water moons feel best around water. There is no place that can fulfill them emotionally better. That's why it's good for these moons to live somewhere near water or go to such places, because that's where they feel most emotionally fulfilled. Meditating by the ocean is also very good because it will calm them down a lot.

🍹Neptune in the 1st house feels like a part of you is always in some kind of illusion and in a dream. You feel all things more dreamily and as if you are suddenly in some kind of affected state. At the same time, you can also be obsessed with constantly daydreaming or having your favorite characters with whom you feel that they are like you. When you meet someone you like, you always start daydreaming about them and creating scenarios with that person.

🎈Venus square Pluto- what do we think about that aspect? I think that these people have problems with trust and because of this, many times they reject people who would be good for them and can trust them. But their love can be intense and deep. It can last a very long time even when you think it's over. They need someone to encourage them to start believing in love again.

-Rebekah🎡⛵️🧸

[mistydeyes]

smth abt your recent 141 post gave me a thought.

somebody need to get these boys into a club, flashing lights, music and dancing, fun drinks and flashy y2k reader who’s lowkey an absolute party animal?? or an ex party animal, teehee anyways,,

imagine how fun it’d be dragging johnny onto the dance floor, drunkenly screaming that “this is my FAVORITE song!!”

i just see fics of them at bars and i just need to see them up in a club😫😫

thank you so much for requesting! i LOVE drunken club energy so much (something about going to a club and drinking a weak rum and coke on a thirsty thursday really does it for me). this totally fit the vibe of a previous request so please enjoy a little cameo of the best 2000s aesthetic character, Storm!

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

summary: The 141 decides to allow you to pick the place for some drinks while on leave. You take the opportunity to get absolutely hammered and sing your heart out to some 2000s hits.

pairing: Taskforce 141 x reader (codename: Storm)

warnings: swearing

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"I thought they said we were going for drinks," Gaz shouted to Ghost over the loud 2000s dance music that blared on the dance floor. Gaz had found his way back to Price and Ghost after you had dragged him to the beats of Low by Flo Rida. After the chorus, you and your low-rise jeans and Harley Davis tiny top had disappeared with Soap in hand. He figured you would emerge eventually as he took a large gulp of his beer that appeared to be hot pink underneath the neon lights. "I am never letting Storm pick again," Ghost said and Gaz strained to hear him. But by the look of how drunk he was getting over the sugary drinks, it was clear Ghost was trying to make the most out of the experience.

"Here they come," Price yelled, almost as if he was delivering a warning, as you emerged from the crowd. Sweat coated your face and perfectly complicated the loose glitter from your makeup and the mingling crowd. Soap followed close behind, somehow losing his shirt after the three-minute song. "What happened out there?" Simon couldn't help but ask as you and Soap chugged the remainder of your dirty shirleys. "Met some Scousers," Soap breathlessly answered, "shirt went with 'em." The group laughed loudly as Soap fanned his sweating torso. "How'd you find this place, Storm?" Gaz asked, leaning forward closer to the group. "Went here a lot in sixth form and the summer before enlisting," you answered. You remembered the long nights and the hoarse voices you left with. You also remembered the paracetamol and glass of water affectionately left on your bedside table.

You continued to exchange wild stories about your drunken adventures including the time you threw up in someone's designer Juicy Couture bag. "And you still party like a teenager," Price couldn't help but tease as you threw your head back in laughter. "Don't see you complaining about all the compliments you've been getting, Captain," you quipped back. Almost on schedule, a young woman passed by the Captain and sent an air kiss his way with her glossed lips. You held your drink in the air and shared a toast with the group as you celebrated the woman's flirtations. Before Price could respond back, you could hear the beginning of your favorite early 2000s hits.

You jumped up, sloshing the drinks on the small metallic table. "Oh my god," you screamed, "this is my favorite song!" Unfortunately for Price and Soap, they were the nearest to you and your hands immediately began tugging them to the dance floor. Your sneakers squeaked against the floor as Soap relented but Price remained firmly in place. "I'm too old for this," Price said as he shook his head in dismay. "Whatever," you rolled your eyes, letting him fall back onto the plush couch, "but the next time there's a Britney song, I better see your boonie hat on the floor."

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Let’s Talk About the Ferris Wheel

This scene in the Ferris Wheel is incredibly intimate. We have Kazuki and Rei actually communicating with each other and discussing seriously about the current situation they are in. But, before that, let’s take a moment to talk about this sequence of events with Rei and Miri.

Miri asks Rei:

“Are Ferris wheels scary?” And Rei tells her no, that they aren’t.

Once they’re on the Ferris wheel, Rei asks Miri:

“It’s not scary?” And Miri replies that it’s not.

This is interesting dialogue, because for Kazuki and Rei, this Ferris wheel ride probably is quite scary, right. An adult fear: losing a child they’ve come to care for and have become attached to. 

But, the narrative is telling us that: The Ferris wheel is NOT scary.

Hopefully, this means that we don’t have to be scared about the future plotlines, maybe shocked and surprised, but not scared.

Of course, we can also look at the projection of the Ferris wheel and the conversations and dialogue as being related to the plot structure of the series so far, and the mindset of the characters at those junctures.

Right, before they got on this ride of caring for Miri, the thought was rather scary, because they were both out of their depths. Then, we get a shot of the carriage they are in, and it rising up the Ferris wheel:

It’s after this that we have Miri responding to Rei that it isn’t scary. This is around the time the two decided to be her papas and started getting comfortable within their roles as being Miri’s papas. Around Episodes 3 - 6. Seeing them become more and more like a family with each passing episode was beautiful (still is).

As they’re getting closer to the very top of the Ferris Wheel, Kazuki brings up the cat. A difficult conversation, one that deals with attachment. In Episodes 7 - 8, that’s when we really see Kazuki and Rei’s decision to devote themselves to Miri and their family come into full force. 

Their attachment with Miri really kicks in around Episodes 7 - 9, this is when they start thinking about placing Miri first, like Kazuki mentions here:

He talks about wanting her to eat Hamburg steak and smile forever. He’s placing her happiness first. That’s an extremely parental view. Kazuki is expressing the practical side of parenthood, while Rei’s expression here, the sound of upset he makes:

Highlights the emotional and painful side of making such a decision. Rei’s never felt emotional attachment like this before, never had to lose it either. Kazuki has, though it was unintentional and not the same as this situation. 

The Ferris wheel is now shown to be at the top. The climax, episodes 9 and 10. Episode 9 was the climax of them becoming a family unit - Kazuki and Rei had worked through their individual demons and both picked returning home to their family. And in Episode 9, we see Miri acknowledging Kazuki and Rei as her family. That was the climax to the “family” side of the series. 

Kazuki tells Miri, when they reach the “tippity-top” that: “That’s the best part!” And, it was! Episode 9 was so, so heartwarming. 

But, this week’s episode, Episode 10, is in the falling action. The part where shit gets tough again. Just like it got tough for Kazuki and Rei in the rising action of Episodes 7 & 8, it’ll get tough for them again in Episodes 10 & 11, possibly 12, too. The difference being that this time they are facing it together, instead of separately.

Kazuki acknowledges that he’s gotten more than he thought he ever would thanks to Miri:

And Rei’s grown a lot emotionally because of Miri, experienced things he never thought he would. He’s become a much more functioning person since she’s come into his life:

For them, this seems and feels like the end of the ride. But, it’s not. The Ferris wheel is still in the falling action stage:

They haven’t gotten off the ride yet. And we don’t see them get off the ride (we just see them after it’s done). Kazuki says, “Time to wake up from the dream,” as they are going down. But waking up from a dream is different from a dream ending. 

In the previous acts of the series, Kazuki and Rei were aware of the dangers their job and situation with Miri could place Miri in, but they weren’t facing the realities of their situation either.

Now the story is in the falling action, the characters are facing some harsh realities: 

About their job.

About society.

About Miri’s birth mother.

Buddy Daddies is a series that wants to explore the themes of “a bloodless family” and “two people of the same sex raising a child,” and they are doing it in modern day Japan. Not in a fantasy world, not through metaphors, and with a foundation based in some level of reality.

This series is exploring tough themes that aren’t always easily accepted or easy to navigate in real life. These ideas can be challenging, and right now, our main characters are experiencing that. 

Pushback.

Kyutaro with his hard truths about the messiness of Miri’s parental situation, of them killing her birth father, and the fact that these issues are going to eventually catch up to them.

Misaki reiterating that danger, and having the lawful advantage of being Miri’s blood, while Kazuki really takes in the reality that society, especially Japanese society, still centers motherhood when it comes to childcare.

But, like I stated, this is still just the falling action. It’s not the conclusion. There are three more episodes left.

There is still time for them and things to change. But, like Kyutaro stated back in Episode 5, it still remains to be seen if these changes that will come will be for the better or worst.

[rodolfoparras]

Thinking about being in a zombie apocalypse w/ Price

Pairing: John Price x Male reader

CW: major character 💀

Thinking about you and Price having feelings for each other ever since you can remember, but you’ve never gotten the courage to confess and time never seems right especially when a zombie apocalypse breaks out.

Suddenly you’re too busy trying to survive and thoughts about confessing are long forgotten about.

However one day when it’s just you and Price out on a patrol, gathering necessities before night comes, you end up getting bitten and for the first time since the apocalypse happened you see Price truly shaken up.

He’d been the first to take charge when the apocalypse broke out, the first one to put his feeling aside and focus on surviving the horror that was now your every day life.

But in this very moment he looks so lost, frozen in place eyes wide and mouth agape before he gathers himself enough to shoot the zombie dead and pull you to the side.

You already know what this means, you remember him being the first to say it.

If someone gets bit we shoot them dead no hesitation.

He just never thought- never dared think it would be one of his own at some point, someone so close to his heart yet so far away.

However before you can even suggest it, he’s pulling you into his embrace, lips pressing against your temple and whispering “it’s okay, it’s okay, just a minor scratch” as the blood soaks through your sweater because denial has always been his best friend.

“You’ll be okay you’ll be okay you’ll be okay” he mutters over and over again as he rips a piece of his shirt before he grabs ahold of your wrist, hands shaking as he rolls up your sleeve to see the damage.

It’s clear as day, it’s not just a scratch but teeth marks deeply etched into the skin, with blood continuously pouring out from it.

You feel your eyes fill with tears, bottom lip wobbling before the wound’s covered by a piece of fabric.

“John” you say as he begins to wrap it.

“Hush” is all he says in response albeit his voice is sounding weaker and you see the way his hands shake, can hear him take shaky breaths, can feel he’s falling apart right before your eyes as he applies the gauze.

“John” you say again with your hand resting on his but even then he won’t look up for your wound

“John you have to do it” you say again and that’s when he finally looks up, cerulean eyes filled with tears and bottom lip wobbling as he grabs ahold of your neck to pull you closer to him

“Do you hear yourself boy?!”

“You’ve said it yourself! If someone gets bitten we shoot them dead!” You say, your own furry reflecting on your face

“That is not the same thing! That is not what - that’s not” his eyes close, tears trickling down his cheeks and his voice cracks when he speaks “you’ll be okay it’ll be alright we’ll just wait til the rest of the boys get here yeah?”

You bite your tongue, swallowing down the bile rising at the back of your throat before you nod your head in response because after all you too have made denial your very own best friend.

The first hour passes and Price makes sure to dry the sweat from your forehead, gives you some food and water to shove some nutrition into your body while continuously changing your bandage with the limited supplies he has with him.

The boys arrive by the third hour and he doesn’t even allow you to mention the bite, just explains you had some bumps in the road but managed to get your supplies. He has an arm around your waist, body flushed against yours to support your weight as he walks you back to the camp, explaining to the rest that you’re just tired it’s been a long day and that he’ll be the one to take you to bed.

By the fourth hour you’re shriveled up in your sleeping sack, running a fever while heaving up your dinner, all while price is there hands once again shaking eyes glassy as he wipes the sweat of your forehead and makes sure you take proper gulps of water.

By the fifth hour you’re reminding him once again that you won’t make it there’s no cure for this and denial has overstayed its welcome but he’s having none of it head shaking and lip turned down into a frown “why?! Why why why are you keeping me alive?!” You almost sob out. “Because I love you, that’s why, do you understand now?!” He yells, the captain tone slipping into his voice as he explains how you’ve got his whole heart in your hands.

A silence falls over the two of you because what is there to say for two people that are doomed.

By the 6 hours silent tears are trickling down your half changed face, blunt nails digging into the palm of Price’s hand while your heart beat gradually slows down.

By the 7th hour, dusk has turned to dawn and 141 find you and Price laying on the floor, hand in hand, with matching bullet holes in your temples.

In the palm of Price’s hand they find a note, on it the words “to be loved is to be changed” are written on paper, later on they’ll find a bite on his body that matches yours.

[catopoliscat]

control / choso kamo/fem!reader.

you ask choso to take control for the evening. he tries his best.

tags: nsfw. 18+. fem!reader. established relationship. canon!verse but no timeline specified. very soft!dom choso but also kind of not. kissing. blowjob/slight deepthroating. love, love, love. choso would rather slit his throat than hurt you and that's on canon babey. service!top choso. begging/pleading, not from you. porn without plot, really. no use of y/n or any other placeholders. ever.

wc: 4.2k

a/n: largely unedited but this is how we move; also i want to swallow choso whole; also also i may do a part 2, maybe maybe

mdni.

You think Choso looks adorable like this. 

He’s standing across from where you’re kneeling, feet slightly parted, his fingers twitching idly by his side. You see the skin stretch taut across the bony protrusions of his knuckle with every flex. A pair of grey sweatpants is all he wears, the baggy fabric hanging low on his angular hips. The fading sunlight catches against his dark hair, still perched in the two little buns that you had grown to adore. His bare chest, pale skin warmed by the light, rises with every breath, though you’re quick to notice it’s more erratic than usual. 

He was just cute. Taller than you, wider than you, perhaps in some cases stronger than you. But cute. Undeniably, mouth-wateringly cute.

Especially like this. When he was nervous. 

He shifts his weight, bare feet shuffling a little again the floorboards. The creak rings out against the warm air of your bedroom. The half-curse looks down at you, his stony features pulled messily into an expression you can only describe as ‘unsure’. 

You’re completely naked, of course. It’s impossible to be insecure about your own form right now, not with the way Choso is looking at you. The nervousness on his face is offset by the dark blush painting his ears, chest and pallid cheeks, offsetting the darkness of the mark across his nose. 

His eyes dart across your form, never setting in one place for too long. Your lips, collarbones, breasts, thighs—the hands resting on top of them. His eyes linger for a while on your nipples particularly, pebbled from the air and the intensity of his gaze. 

But even amidst that hunger, the familiar darkness of his gaze any time his eyes fall on your body—especially exposed like this—is an undeniable trepidation. Anxiety. 

“It’s okay,” you murmur softly, looking up at him. A soft smile twinges on your lips. “Go on.” 

His fists clench once more, a knuckle cracks. After a long silence, filled only by a small breath, he takes one more hesitant step toward you, closing the distance. 

A restless impatience and anticipation claws at you, but you wait. You understood what you were asking of him was a lot, for him, in this circumstance. With you. 

A thousand other men would have leapt at a chance like this, to take control, to assert, to dominate. A thousand other men would have salivated, reduced to little more than their baser instincts and primal want. A thousand other men wouldn’t have hesitated to abuse this opportunity, to drain it of all it was worth until you were unsatisfied and used. 

But Choso Kamo, your Choso Kamo, wasn’t a thousand other men. He cared, he loved; with a passion that overshadowed almost anything else. The mere idea of taking control, of telling you rather than asking, to take what he wanted without reservation, clearly unnerved him. Even the possibility of overstepping, of pushing too far, of even potentially hurting you was enough to have him pause—even when you were naked, exposed, on your knees before him. 

 And that spoke books about his character. Curse or not. 

You meet Choso’s eyes as he looks down at you. The soft smile on your lips, laced with tenderness, adoration, and love doesn’t waver. His eyes flick down to your lips, his own lips part. 

He goes to say something, thinks better of it, and closes his lips again. Instead, he reaches out a large hand, clammy fingertips brushing against your forehead tenderly, testing the waters. When you don’t recoil or bat his hand away (why would you?), and instead lean into his touch, he releases something like a soft sigh of relief. 

His fingers linger near your temple, brushing down against your ear, your jaw, until they reach your chin. He tilts your head up with such a gentle touch your heart aches. You oblige willingly, of course, and as your lips part, he finally leans down. 

His kiss is soft and tender as it always is. Restrained. His lips move against yours with no rush or urgency, and had it not been for the way his fingers trembled against your chin, you would have thought it was a simple kiss, nothing more. 

Like always, however, his own hunger crawls up the back of his throat untamed, and the kiss starts to deepen quickly. It grows wetter, his tongue brushing against your lower lip like a whisper, a soft groan pouring against your skin as his nose dimples the skin of your cheek. 

You want to stand and reach up, wind your arms around your neck and tug him closer until your breasts press against the hard planes of his chest. Even without a slither of space between, Choso would pull you closer still, as if trying to merge your bodies into one. His grip would be tender, but his muscles would shake with restraint. 

You don’t move, however. You wanted Choso to take. And this is how he’d learn. 

As if sensing something amiss—possibly the missing sensation of your fingers on his scalp or the warmth of your body against his own, Choso pulls away from the kiss. His dark eyes flick down to you, concern knitting his brow. 

You simply look up at him, your gaze almost coy despite the way your gums pulse and your heart races in your chest. You want nothing more than to practically pounce, but Choso wasn’t the only one capable of restraint. 

As if forced to finally use his words, his lips part. “Am I doing something wrong?” 

That urge to pounce returns tenfold. You want to kiss and caress every part of his skin, hear those deep groans and feel his fingertips sink into your flesh needily.

 Once more, you hold yourself back. 

His fingertips pull back from your chin and he straightens, though a slight hunch remains in his back, as if he couldn’t bear to fully separate you two just yet. With a glance down, you can see the way his cock sits heavy against his sweatpants, half-hard from a simple kiss already. It twitches under your gaze, but you tear your eyes away to look back up at him. 

“Nothing's wrong, Choso,” you reply instead, clearly sensing his need for affirmation. “You’re doing fine. Keep going.” You pull his hand back down to your cheek, guiding him to cup it, and he does so without hesitation. “Go on. Tell me what you want.” 

A thumb brushes against your cheekbone softly. You watch as his mouth bobs like a fish for a moment. 

“Touch me,” he whispers, his voice low, gravelly. 

“Where?”

“Anywhere,” he breathes out instantly. You give him a pointed eyebrow, and make no move to free your hands from their grip on your thighs. He swallows again, need warring with his hesitance. “M-My stomach.” 

With a satisfied hum, you rise on your knees a little, your eyes never breaking from his. You plant your hands firmly on his upper stomach, just under his pectoral, feeling the mass of muscle underneath twitch. He lets out a relieved breath, as if your touch was the only thing he needed, as if he couldn’t bear to be without it. 

Slowly, oh so slowly, you let your hands drag down, down, down. You skim across the hard ridges and dips, fingertips caressing every inch softly, lovingly. His eyelids flutter, his back arches slightly. Large hands come down to rest against your shoulders, the touch barely there. More to ground him than anything else. 

Your hands start to pull inward as they reach his belly button, thumbs brushing against the faint trail of hair that descends below it. You slow down even more here, restraining yourself from leaning forward and following the path of your fingers with your lips. You adored the sounds he’d make when you did that. 

As you reach the waistband of his sweatpants, you stop. You let your fingertips skim along the edge of it, tracing it—clearly ignoring the tent of his heavy cock weighing against it, fully hard now. 

Choso’s Adam’s apple bobs as he looks down at you. His brows twitch once more, clearly expecting you to do what you usually wasted little time with doing… before he remembers why you were even on your knees to begin with. Why he was standing above you. The whole point of this. 

“Take them off,” he mutters, a little more confidence in his voice now arousal was bolstering him. 

With a pleased smile, you hook your fingers into the fabric and peel them down his legs with the same meticulous slowness as you had caressed his abdomen. Fabric mid-thigh, his cock springs free, and the grip on your shoulders tightens in response. It bobs, hanging heavy underneath its own weight, the tip beginning to glisten with desire already. 

Sweatpants on the floor, he kicks them aside, his eyes never leaving you. Standing before you, just as naked as you now, he moves one hand from your shoulder to your cheek. 

“Touch me,” he groans, his voice thick, almost desperate. “Please.” 

You want to chastise him for pleading when he was supposed to be the one in control, but you bite your tongue. Old habit died hard, you suppose. 

Instead of going straight for his cock, like he so clearly wants, you instead run your hands up his legs. The moment your fingertips touch the inside of his ankles, his breath hitches, surprise and slight confusion painting his features. As you slowly drag your hands upward, however, teasing the backs of his knees and the sensitive skin of his thighs, he catches on quickly. 

You’re touching him, as he so vaguely requested. 

Thumbs pressing into the pale skin on the inside of his thighs, brushing against faded purple marks in the shape of your mouth, you continue upward until you reach his groin. 

His cock twitches. His breath stutters. 

And then you work your way back down again; down, down, down to his ankles once more. 

The air deflates out of him, a strange noise you’ve never heard of bubbling up at the back of his throat. You’ve teased and riled up Choso plenty of times, it was one of your favourite pastimes when you were feeling particularly patient and deviant—and he knew it. 

Typically, he was content to let you do so. Enjoyed it, even. You think there’s very, very little Choso wouldn’t let you do to him, so long as you touched him. Loved him. And no matter how much you teased, edged or wound him up tighter than a spring, you always made sure he was taken care of. Always. 

But you’re not sure whether it was the situation, the drop of dominance he was learning how to swallow, or sheer impatience—but he tires of slight touches and teasing grazes. 

Choso doesn’t use his words straight away, and instead his hand moves from your cheek and shoulder to your wrists. His grip is slightly firmer than usual as he pulls them away from his thighs. 

He takes a deep breath as he looks at you, holding your wrists up, a glimmer in his eye that asks you a silent question. You merely smile softly at him. 

Choso looks at your wrists in his hand, the way you let your fingers dangle lifelessly, waiting for orders. He thinks for a moment, and you allow him. After all, it wasn’t all that long ago that Choso was a complete virgin. Lust, sex, and kink were all incredibly fresh still, but he seemed content to explore it all, as long as it was with you. 

“Put your hands… behind your back,” he murmurs finally. 

Now we’re getting somewhere, you think. 

He loosens his grip on your wrists and you slip your hands out easily. You let your hands fall to your thighs again, before slowly winding them behind your back. 

Another shaky breath leaves his lips as he looks down at you like this; looking up at him, lips slightly parted, arms behind your back—a flush across your chest. His gaze lingers on your eyes, however, particularly on the slight crease in the corners as you smile. 

“Good,” he mumbles, seemingly mirroring your own praise that you never failed to shower upon in him. His hand returns to your cheek, brushing the back of his fingers against your skin. Cupping it again, his thumb traces the outline of your bottom lip, and even before he says, you part your lips. A soft moan leaves his own lips. “G-good.” 

Tentatively, he pushes his thumb into your mouth, and you close your lips around it. Even from down here, even against the darkness in his eyes, you catch the way his pupils dilate, a choked sound hitching in his throat. 

He was getting into this. 

You suck lightly, running your tongue over the pad of his thumb, tasting his skin. The familiar taste of him fills your mouth; the salt of his skin, the faint traces of copper and iron—blood—that always seemed to cling to him. 

Choso presses his thumb down against your tongue, pinning it to the floor of your mouth. Your mouth falls open slightly, a soft breath leaving your lips as saliva wells in your mouth. A drop of pre-cum oozes down the side of Choso’s cock, and he clearly decides he can wait no longer. 

Pulling his thumb out of your lips, he grasps his own cock, exhaling a ragged breath at his own touch. He shuffles a little closer, and your mouth salivates further as you anticipate what he’s about to do. 

“Open your mouth, pl-“ he cuts himself off with a swallow. “Open your mouth.” 

You do. Your jaw falls open, your tongue peeking out a little. Choso’s eyes lock onto the sight, his cock throbbing in his grasp. He pushes his hips forward, and the leaking tip of his cock brushes against your tongue. 

A sharp pant leaves his lips as his brows twitch inward. His hips buck forward, as you expected them to, his cock sliding a little further into your mouth, but not quite pushing past further than one or two centimetres. 

You go to close your lips, like you’ve done a hundred times before for him even if you always struggled to accommodate his length and girth—but with great reluctance, Choso pulls back, removing his cock from your tongue. 

“Not yet,” he pants. “K-Keep your mouth open.” Faint surprise colours your features, and Choso must catch it because he looks sheepish for a moment, the flush across his face and body deepening a touch. You smile though, and keep your mouth dutifully open. 

He pushes forward again, his hand still gripping the base of his heavy cock. He brushes against your tongue once more, before sliding his hand up the shaft of his cock. A glimmering pearl of pre oozes from the tip, pooling on your tongue, and the groan that leaves his lips you feel in your own chest. 

The faintly salty taste of him makes your eyelid flutter, and you resist the urge to lap at his cock greedily. 

Seemingly content with this for now, Choso continues his slight, minute movements, softly thrusting the sensitive tip of his cock against your taste buds whilst his hand stroked his base. Tender moans fall from his lips, breathy and pitched, and you watch as his eyes fall closed. 

Whilst enjoying the sight of Choso enjoying himself at his own leisure and pace, you couldn’t help but wonder why he wasn’t fully using your mouth. Although your lips always had to stretch taut around him, his tip slipping down the back of your throat causing you to often gag and splutter, you enjoyed giving him head. You loved the pleasure on his face, though often knitted with concern. You enjoyed the slight discomfort of taking him orally, the thought of his pleasure overriding all thoughts but of him.

With a theory in your mind, you close your lips around his cock suddenly, sucking the tip. Choso’s eyes snap open, a bleat leaving his lips. The hand still gripping your shoulder tightens, and he goes to remove his cock from your mouth, but you stop him with a hand at the back of his thigh. 

Choso’s gaze seems to glimmer with an odd mixture of panic and lust, his concern battling with his desire to thrust deeper. 

“C-careful,” he stutters. He groans your name as his hips twitch, pushing a little deeper despite himself. “I don’t want…” Another groan as he inches deeper, the fat tip brushing against your tonsils. “…to hurt you.” 

Thought so, you think. 

You fix Choso with as stern a stare as you can with cock slowly lodging its way further into your mouth. You wind your hand back behind your back, lacing your fingers together before you lean forward, taking Choso’s cock as deep as you possibly can—which still only manages to be a little more than halfway. 

As if to punctuate your point that you’re okay, that you want this, that you want Choso to take everything he wanted without reservation—you moan around his cock. Loudly. 

Choso’s knees almost buckle as the vibrations shoot up his cock, a pitchy keen leaving his lips. His hand flies from your shoulder to the back of your head, though you’re unsure if he wants to push you deeper or pull you off altogether. 

He looks back down at you once more, the tinges of concern and anxiety slowly melting down against the heat of his own lust and your satisfaction. You push your tongue up against the underside of his cock, and that seems enough to make him cast aside his worry. 

With an initial, hesitant thrust of his hips, he pushes his hips forward, a soft moan leaving his lips as his cock sinks a little deeper into the hot, wet heat of your mouth. His movements are tentative, to begin with, but he slowly starts to pick up a steady rhythm, the tip beginning to bump against the back of your throat. 

“…so good,” he pants. “You’re s-so good. P-Perfect.” Though pleasure smears his feature, his eyes never leave you, watching avidly as his cock disappears between your plush lips. He’s not fully letting go; even as his mouth drops open, as he pants, as beads of sweat pool on his brow and his cursed mark begins to shift. You try to take him a little deeper, but he pulls his hips back on the next thrust instinctively, keeping his previous depth. “N-no, please, God, please… just like this—please.” 

You get it. Although you’d love nothing more than to have Choso hammer the back of your throat, he simply can’t let go enough just yet to enjoy it. Not at your expense. Never at your expense. 

So you let him thrust as deep as he desires, and push him no further. You meet his every thrust with a bob of your head, slick lips sliding across his heated flesh. His groans grow louder with every push, but even as his thighs start to quiver and the grip on your shoulder grows tighter, he never pushes any deeper, or picks up speed. 

Pre-cum leaks fluidly onto your tongue, your saliva collects at the corner of your mouth. The slick sounds of your mouth fill the quiet space of your bedroom, overshadowed by Choso’s moans and the slight creak of the floorboard underneath him. 

By the pulse of his cock and the way Choso’s groans grow raspier, his thrusts a little less coordinated, you presume he’s getting particularly close. His thrusts grow only a touch quicker, the fat tip rubbing against the back of your tongue almost insistently. The short ‘I’m close’ that rushes out of his throat only confirms it. 

You moan around his cock again, and Choso splutters. 

“Yes, y-yes,” he rasps, his hand moving from your shoulder to the back of your head. “Again. Do that… again.” You do, louder this time, just for his benefit, and his cock bumps against the back of your thrust with the almost erratic buck of his hips. “Ah!”

He allows himself that little extra inch of warmth in your mouth, even as your eyes begin to glisten, as drool dribbles out the corner of your lips and down your chin. He locks eyes with you, his mouth falling open. ‘Perfect’, ‘beautiful’, ‘so good’ flows out of his lips like whispered mantras, and you can’t be sure whether he’s talking about you or the feelings he’s experiencing right now. Probably both. 

Choso’s fingertips sink into your scalp, his moans and groans bubbling down into little more than heated pants and huffs, a soft, needy whistle tinging every one. His own eyes shine, small tears of overwhelming pleasure beginning to pool at the corners. He looks desperate, torn—strands of his hair clinging to his face. 

He’s right on the edge, you know it—and yet he isn’t falling over. Or rather, he’s unable to. 

“Touch me, touch me,” he pleads, and your hands fly from behind your back as if Choso was pulling a marionette’s strings. 

Your one hand curls around his shaft as he quickly moves his hand away, and with a motion oh-so-familiar to you, you pump him tightly, rhythmically—in perfect tandem with the bob of your head. Your other hand moves to cradle his balls, tight and hot in your palm. 

And just like that, control was so willingly thrown back to you.

With a harsh groan of relief, both of Choso’s hands cup the back of your head. He tries to let you dictate the pace, the rhythm, but like always when he’s this close to climax, he’s unable to help the way his hips buck and twitch. 

Praises, ‘thank you’ and groans spill past his lips like a torrent. He’s too far gone to even release you’ve forced you way deeper down his cock, the tip lodging its way into the back of your throat. He writhes above you, trembling, fidgeting as his release quickly comes crashing toward him. 

With one particularly deep bob of your throat and well-timed curl of your wrist, Choso tenses up. You feel his balls tighten in your palm. A choked sound hitches in his throat and stays there as he holds his breath.

The first syllable of ‘coming’ is all the warning you get before he’s filling your mouth, choked little grunts and something close to whimpers filling the heated air. The salty tang explodes across your taste buds as spurt after spurt falls against your tongue. His hips thrust a little now and then as you continue to move your hand, milking him for every drop. 

You swallow everything without hesitation, but the bob of your throat is lost to Choso as he slips his cock from the heaven of your lips. 

He falls to his knees a second later, breathing erratically—practically fighting for each breath. His arms wind around your waist as he curls himself in on you, his forehead brushing against your nape. He holds you close, still trembling. 

Winding your arms around him in turn, you run your hands up and down his clammy shoulder blades, feeling every shudder and twitch. Something wet falls against your back, and when he finally calms down and pulls back slightly, you see it was tears. 

You have no time to ask if he’s alright before his lips are pressed against yours with a gentle hunger; something like appreciation, adoration and love pouring against your mouth. His tongue pushes softly between your lips, his breath hitching as he tastes himself on your tongue. With a wet smack, he pulls back before resting his forehead against yours. 

“Was… was that what you wanted?” He murmurs, something close to concern in his voice as his eyes flick between yours. 

A soft laugh bubbles up at the back of your throat. Your smile widens with adoration as you cup his cheeks. It takes a second, but a small smile begins to bloom on his own lips in response. He presses his forehead a little firmer against yours, like a cat. 

“It was everything,” you reply, your voice a little scratchy. Your throat was sore, lips dry, knees aching against the floorboards that had warmed against your skin; but you were truthful. It was everything. Choso was everything. 

Hearing the scratch in your voice, concern washes over Choso’s features once more. His lips part as he goes to say something, but seems to think better of it for a moment. 

“Do you… would you like to continue?” 

Your brows rise, and you can’t help but glance down at his cock, softening between his thighs, your saliva and his own cum still glistening against his flushed skin. 

“Can you eve-“ 

“I want to taste you,” he breathes out, his voice still holding the same husky timbre as before. “I’m… still in control, yes?” 

Your eyebrows rise further, your hands moving from his cheeks to his shoulders—only for Choso to grab your wrists again, moving them back up to his cheeks with an almost assertive grip.

“Yeah,” you murmur after a moment, a lopsided smile on your lips. “You’re still in control.” 

His hands skate down the curve of your waist, down to your hips and then to your thighs. He allows himself a greedy squeeze of your flesh.

“Lie back, spread your legs,” he whispers. “Let me see you—all of you.” 

His voice is hot, wanting—and for the first time this evening, you feel the real command in his voice.  

masterlist.

[felassan]

EA site update:

"The Dread Wolf Rises Dragon Age Day 2023 Happy DA Day to our friends across Thedas!"

"[Mark] Dragon Age has always been a franchise about characters. Characters to fall in love with or to learn to loath. Those characters need a place in which to live, to fight, and to love—a place that shapes them and the events they find themselves swept up in. Today we explore the place they call home that forms the stage for everything that you do: Thedas. Corinne and the Dragon Age: Dreadwolf team have created a game that celebrates the rich and varied past of the franchise while crafting new experiences and stories. It has been incredible to come back to BioWare and see all of the progress they’ve made, and I’m excited for some of that world to be shared with all of you today. [Corinne] Thank you, Mark! I fondly remember playing each entry in the Dragon Age franchise, being completely immersed and enamored in the world you all had built. It amazes me to be here now, working alongside you and the team, to bring new stories and characters (not to mention a few returning characters) to all of the fans of the franchise. Dragon Age: Dreadwolf is the product of hard work and love. We know how much this world means to all of you, how these experiences stay with you. We want to get it right, so we’ve taken our time. We're so excited to join in this celebration of all things Dragon Age and the incredible fandom that surrounds it. Within the dev team, we’ve been eagerly awaiting Dragon Age Day as the enthusiasm, stories, charity, and artwork you share motivates us to be our best and create new experiences for all of you. To celebrate DA Day, we’re sharing a look at a few of the in-game locations you’ll explore on this new adventure (and perhaps a little more for those who listen closely). The stage is set. The Dread Wolf is ready to make his move. Oh, and one last thing before I go… In summer 2024, we’ll be fully revealing Dragon Age: Dreadwolf to you! We honestly can’t wait. See you all in Thedas, — Corinne Busche, Game Director & Mark Darrah, Sr Production Advisor"

"You’ve visited the lands of Thedas thrice before in our games and many more times in comics, books, art, and short stories. This time, you’ll be venturing to places unseen and returning to places from long ago. To celebrate Dragon Age Day, we wanted to show you some of those sights. [link to new trailer] We stand on the precipice of change. This is a world brimming with stories and characters waiting to meet you. The fate of this world teeters on the edge of a knife. In past games, you only got to see a slice of the world. In Origins, it was Ferelden—a land ravaged by war and Dark Spawn. In II, it was Kirkwall and its locales—festering with corruption and a dark underworld. And in Inquisition, you ventured across much of Orlais—facing down political intrigue as often as combat."

"This time, however, much more of Thedas is yours to see. The desolate, beautiful badlands of the Anderfels with curtains of distant mountainous spires. The twisting canals and gleaming towers of Antiva, where Crows may lurk in any shadow. The turquoise seas of Rivain with its rushes of greenery and hardy sea-faring people. And of course, there’s more."

"We felt this was best for the tale we wanted to tell this time and we hope you enjoy it as much as we have! It’s allowed us to create many more locations than past games, including both some you’ve longed to go to…and some you’ve never heard of before!"

"To help capture the wonders of Thedas, we partnered with three wonderful artists from our exceptionally talented community and gave them an early look at what you’ve now seen. We’ve always been so fortunate to have such an incredibly skilled community of artists, and getting to work with these three was a true joy! We asked each of them to create a vista of one of the three regions in the video based on their interpretation of it in their own unique styles. Please enjoy their wonderful work, and be sure to send them some love when you check out their personal channels for more of their art!" [link to art]

"Turning our focus to your closest kitchen, if you’re looking for a fun gift this holiday season or want to try some Thedosian dishes yourself, we’ve got you covered with Dragon Age: The Official Cookbook: Tastes of Thedas from our partners, Insight Editions! This project was lovingly crafted by the author, Jessie Hasset, as well as members of our team who have an affinity for the kitchen and a love of cuisine."

"The cookbook features recipes suited to all skill levels, but we know that jumping in may be a daunting task for some. To help you out, we’ve partnered with MisoHungrie, a wonderful YouTuber who specializes in cooking, with a particular knack for video game and entertainment-related dishes. If you’re looking for a place to start on your culinary journey, check out his video and follow along. And be sure to let us know what you think of these Thedosian delights! In addition to this, there are two giveaways you should keep an eye out for! For the first, our friends over at Insight Editions are giving away five copies of the cookbook on their social channels, so be sure to check them out. And it doesn’t end there. For those of you who decide to try your hand at making a culinary delight from the book (including one of the ones we’ve released separately), be sure to follow our own Dragon Age social channels for the second giveaway. Keep an eye out for the opportunity to submit your creation for a chance to win a BioWare Gear Store package, including the brand-new Morrigan romance bundle! Details on that giveaway will be posted next week."

"As we mentioned earlier this year, we’ve partnered with Dark Horse to create a digital package of all their comics for Dragon Age and Mass Effect on Humble Bundle. Visit the Humble Bundle page to find out how our partners are working to support Child’s Play, an organization that seeks to make the lives of children in hospitals more comfortable through the enjoyment of games. There’s no better time than the holidays to bring a smile to someone’s face. BioWare is also supporting a few local charities this month that focus on helping the most vulnerable in our communities via food banks. This includes the Edmonton Food Bank, the Greater Vancouver Food Bank, Les Banques alimentaires au Québec, and the Central Texas Food Bank. All of them provide food to thousands of people each month and rely on kindhearted donations and volunteers. If you’re wanting to give back this holiday season, please consider supporting Child’s Play or donating to your local food banks. Many communities also accept non-monetary donations of canned, dried, and packaged goods, clothing, and other useful supplies. However you choose to support those in need, know that every bit helps and can make a big difference in someone’s life, whether they’re in your community or around the world."

"An insult that he took as a badge of pride. An insult to inspire hope in his friends and fear in his enemies. That is what Fen’Harel, the Dread Wolf, truly is. Not a man who sees himself as evil, but someone who believes he’s fighting for a good cause and is willing to get his hands dirty. This long-awaited chapter of Dragon Age is fast approaching—the time close at hand. We’ll see you next summer with answers to your questions, including ones you have yet to ask. With that will come our full reveal including new trailers, gameplay, and—of course—the long-awaited release date. The Dread Wolf will rise once more and we’ll have much more to share with you as we approach Summer 2024. Please keep an eye on our social channels for all the latest information on Dragon Age: Dreadwolf’s reveal and beyond. Know this, though: The Dread Wolf has not been idle these past years. His reach is far, and soon his plans will come to fruition—a cataclysmic rejoining of magic and realms hundreds of years in the making. Will you be able to stop him? We hope so. Always believing in you,             — The Dragon Age Team"

[source and full post]

[the-fiction-witch]

Sneak

Media TMR

Character Newt

Couple Newt X Reader

Rating Cute + Smutty

Concept Sharing Hammocks

Smut Cuddles / grinding / kissing / fondling / overexcitment/

I waited eagerly and rather impatiently. I sat on top of the watchtower, I was always last to sleep and the boys knew I had a habit of sitting up on the watchtower till everyone else was asleep. Watching as the homestead slowly darkened as each lamp was extinguished. I had my own little private space but it was on the edge of the deadheads, yes it was away from eyes but it was dirty, damp, and muddy. My hammock is strong between two trees with a wooden box for all my things. It was nice to have a little privacy being the only girl but I felt lonely and somewhat abandoned out there most nights. But I had myself a solution. 

Once I saw the last light go out plunging the glade into utter darkness I smiled. 

I waited a few minutes more listening to the sounds of the boys snoring mixed with that of the maze changing beyond the walls. 

Once I was sure all the boys were asleep I quietly climbed down the tower. I didn't bother to light my lantern as I knew this path was like the back of my hand. 

 I headed through the glade's grass past the kitchen, past the bathrooms, past the benches and post. Until I reached the homestead. 

The tall messy structure the boys had created to house them all, hammocks hung from every place they could be hung. 

I made sure to slip off my shoes walking in the grass and dirt on my tiptoes to avoid making noise I moved through the maze of hammocks all full of sleeping glades until I reached what I had been so eager for.

The center of the homestead were the keepers all slept being the earliest boys here they of course took up the center with the most space between them, they each had fabric covers hung from trees to hide their hammocks so they each has their own space and privacy. I snuck around making sure not to be seen or heard as I made my way to my most favorite place. 

I ducted under a cover to make sure I wouldn't be spotted and I smiled widely at the hammock before me.

The dirty old once red fabric hammock hung from two trees with the curtains hung around so it was impossible to see other hammocks from here, in the hammock laid such a cute sweet sight.

The thing second in command laid on his back his head on a small pillow half the size of the other boys under his neck to keep his head up, his fluffy blonde hair out of place a little where he had been messing with it all day, his eyes closed gently his mouth hung open slightly, his hoodie on the floor by his shoes, leaving only his orange vest to protect his body, his chest slowly rising and falling with each gentle rested breath, his arm over his stomach lazily the other hung off the hammock towards the the floor, his legs stretched as much as they could in the little hammock another pillow the same size as the other under his bad ankle giving it a gentle support. 

I smiled, setting my shoes down too and going over fixing some hair from his face.

I moved closer and pressed a little kiss to his dirty forehead he stirred a little but not enough to really move. 

So I slipped off my hoodie setting it down with my shoes before I gently climbed into his hammock making sure not to tip it or to push on him too hard until I was laid ontop of him one leg down between his own the other up around his hip, my head on his chest my arms snuggly around him immediately I felt so safe, so secure and happy. 

I did this alot, ever since we shared a small drunken nap cuddle in the grass a few bonfires ago, ever since I had been sneaking in for cuddles, he didn't know I always came after he was asleep and of be gone long before he woke up, plus he works so hard on the gardens that he sleeps like the dead. So I'm always able to climb in and cuddle.

I don't think he minds as he never seems bothered by me.

And as usual as I laid nuzzled into his chest his arms slowly shifted coming and wrapping around me holding me to his body.

I felt so happy, so secure and safe, so relaxed and peaceful I could have stayed cuddled here forever. 

I got a lovely night sleep as I always did but woke to the sun starting to make its way above the walls so I sat up with a yawn having to carefully peel his arms from around me as I sat up completely, "ummmm good morning newt," I smiled giving his cheek a little kiss before I tried to climb out however I leaded my weight a little too far and the whole hammock tipped over throwing me and newt onto the ground "oww" I complained

"Ahhh- what the" he complained sitting up a little rubbing his head from the fall "ahhh! Y/n!" He yelped grabbing his hoodie and for some reason covering himself… not sure why? 

"Hi" I smiled 

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" 

"Uuuuuuuhhh"

"And why am I on the ground?" 

".... earthquake?" I suggest

"Y/n?" He warns 

".... I may have snuck into your hammock last night"

His eyes went wide "you what?!" He asks but then realized his volume this early "you did what?" 

"I snuck into your hammock while you were sleeping"

"....why?"

"For cuddles."

"For a cuddle?"

"Ummm humm" I nodded "ever since we fell asleep together by the gardens I've been sneaking in. I feel really safe and cosy when I sleep with you" 

"Awww, that's really sweet y/n." He smiled  "you could have just asked. You're more than welcome to come cuddle with me if you want to" 

"I am?"

"Of course you are. I was wondering who I've been cuddling the last few weeks. I thought I was imagining it" he says "that doesn't answer why were both now on the floor?"

"The hammock tipped"

"Ahhh. That makes sense" he nods "did you wanna maybe keep cuddling? At Least till we have to go to work?"

"I'd like that" I smiled 

He happily got up and got settled back in the hammock then opened his arms for me so I happily climbed back in how I was nuzzling into his chest "I see why you like cuddling in here. It's nice" he Cooes stroking my hair 

"It's very nice, my favorite place in the world" I smiled 

"It might just be mine too" he Cooes

"Wake me when it's time for work"

"I will. Sleep tight y/n" he says giving my head a kiss 

"Goodnight newt"

"Night" 

I groaned a little as my body knew it was time for work, I stirred a little already mad as I didn't to get up, and my stirring seemed to wake him too 

"Umm?" 

"It's time for work"

"It is? Ummm five more minutes love" he complained hugging he tighter 

"No come on or we'll cuddle all day"

"I don't have any objections" 

"Newt come on Alby will come kick your butt of you don't get up"

"Fine" he sighed "for me to get up I need you to get up love. Your on top of me." 

"I'm working on it" 

"You don't seem to be working on it very hard?" 

"And your jumping out of bed?"

"That's because in cuddled up with you, why would I wanna rush away from something so cosy" he says kissing my head 

"See that's why I'm not moving"

"Come on, Its bacon for breakfast today" he reminds 

"So you want bacon more then cuddles?" I pouted 

"Ummm don't make me choose love" he sighed "hey? If I sit up that'll wake us both up."

"It would"

"I'll do it. For a kiss?"

"Really?"

"Just a little kiss?"

"Alright" I smiled moving a little so I could see him "hi"

"Hi"

I smiled and leant in pressing a soft kiss to his lips he happily kissed back tightened his arms around me his hands settled in the small of my back and my waist gently stroking my skin as we softly kissed the soft sound of our lips clacking slightly as they moved Against one another the only sound in the whole glade but the wind in the trees and the kitchens starting up breakfast till I slowly pulled back he did try and lean back in clearly desperate for our kisses to continue

"Don't make me go"

"What? Youre the one who wants your breakfast?"

"I know, don't make me leave you" he says stroking my cheek and pulling me back to kiss him till I pulled back

"Come on newt. Or no cuddle tonight" I warn sitting up to have a stretch

"Fine. I wait up for you this time"

"You better" I smiled leaning down to give him a kiss "newt?"

"Yes love?"

"Is that your belt pressing into me?" I asked given as I sat up in his hims indefinite felt something pressing against me 

He blushed a little but bit his lip slightly before he chuckled "that's not my belt love"

"Isn't it?"

"No it is not" he smirked tugging me back to kiss him our kiss more giggly and playfully

"Newt! Your late!" We heard from behind the curtain but we barely had time to move as Alby came around into newts little hammock space clearly mad he was late for work and all I had managed to do was sit up.

So as far as Alby was concerned he just walked into see newt on his hammock, me sat up on his lap, his arms around my waist both of us clearly been kissing with our hoodies and shoes on the floor. 

He looked us over and we both turned red the only thing either of us could manage was newt very quickly sitting up and blurting out 

"It's not what it looks like" he yelped 

Unfortunately given I was still sat on newts hips, as he sat up he was squarely faced with my boobs in my small vest shirt as the shirt had fallen considerably in our resting and now left little to the imagination especially given my one bra was in the wash, something he noticed as soon as he had uttered those words and now was unable to focus on anything else being meer inches from me and clearly excited by that as the stiffness below me hardened even more. It was obvious he was desperate to kiss me and get his hands or well get anything of his on my shirt. 

"Newt gardens now. Y/n laundry. I'll deal with you both later" he demanded "and if your gonna do that do it in y/n's hammock"

"Yes Alby" he both nodded and he quickly left us alone 

"Come on or we really will get on trouble" I giggled trying to climb down 

"No no no. Come on love please. Just five more minutes" he pleads grasping me quickly and firmly trying to tug me back closer to him almost pulling me against his chest kissing my jaw and down my neck even across my chest

 at first I merely giggled "newt-"

"Just five more minutes love I promise." He groans in his over excitement even starting to grind his hips against my own until one of his hands grabbed my ass and I immediately stopped him pushing him away grabbing his wrists to force him away from me 

"Newt!"

He breaths "Your right. Your right. I'm sorry." He says calmly "I was thinking with the wrong head for a moment I apologize" he says moving his own hands back 

"Thank you" I nodded "be careful with that"

"I'll try. Sorry"

"It's fine. Maybe we can play around with other heads suggestions after lights out" I smiled tapping his nose and giving his lips a kiss 

"Umm don't encourage me love" he smirked "I'm gonna have to go to the shower aren't I?" He sighed

"I think so" I nodded "sorry newt" I told him climbing out and getting my hoodie on 

"It's fine love. It's where you normally send me anyway" he winked getting his own hoodie on as he climbed out too "so, how about I come see you tonight?"

"You'll see me later? At break time and lunch atleast" I laughed getting my shoes on 

"I know I'll see you around the glade but. How about I meet you at your hammock tonight after lights out?" He asks getting his shoes on 

"I'll be waiting"

"You better be" he smirked giving me a gentle kiss "see you later love"

"See you later newt" I smiled before we each headed off to work.

[respectthepetty]

I was going to respond to @waitmyturtles' ask about if a person should finish Step by Step, but instead of taking that post hostage, let me be honest on my own post:

Step by Step has problems.

Step by Step isn't perfect.

Step by Step has pacing issues.

Step by Step's timeline is all over the place.

Step by Step's second couple was not fleshed out.

and yet . . .

Step by Step has consistently stated that being gay is its biggest problem.

AND I LOVE THAT!

A BL about how being gay is a problem in an industry profiting off of gay stories is what I'm showing up for each week. Mostly when it directly stated that in the series, only to have to be edited due to fan outrage.

Put being an actual gay man in the BL industry is a problem.

Jeng being an actual gay man in a company that made a BL to promote a product is a problem.

Pat being an actual gay man, who successfully marketed a product using the BL concept he was adamantly against yet pulled off with a limited budget and time, rising to a leadership position is a problem.

All was fine and dandy when we were watching a BL about two men falling in love and providing each other balance, but the problems started to spring up when the story became about gay men trying to balance their work with their lives.

The pacing fell apart as their work started to take over their lives and everything work related sped up as their personal stories stopped.

The timeline became muffled as life and emotions started to cut into their work. PAT FORGOT HIS OWN BIRTHDAY because time escaped him as we dug further into the corporate world.

The second couple fell apart before they even started as the show began to tell us that life-work integration was never going to work

when

you

are

gay

especially in spaces that want to profit off of the queer community without openly accepting its members in those spaces.

A gay man can't integrate his life into a job that doesn't want to accept that actual gay men exist.

It's performative action at its finest, and it demands that queer people become compliant in their own oppression.

Jeng never caused a problem at work, yet those men sat there and told him their biggest problem with him was that he was gay. Then they made Jeng apologize for it.

Put never caused a problem at work, yet his manager told him that revealing he was in a gay relationship was going to be an issue. Then he pushed Put back in the closet.

Two years ago, both of them sacrificed their relationship and their lives for work, and as result, their entire lives became their work.

They lost track of time. They missed important moments happening in their family and friend's lives. Entire events passed without them being present. They had to compromise themselves to succeed.

And we witnessed that happening to Pat until he realized he didn't want to be manipulated into doubting his skills, his work, or himself.

I'm sticking around to see what justice this show brings to its characters who gave up everything just to be left with nothing.

But I stuck around because this show told us from the very first line in the very first scene what it was about.

This wasn't a story about falling in love while balancing each other out. This was a story about trying to find a balance between a job that doesn't want to accept your life exists and a life that can't exist because of your job.

One gives you security.

And the other makes you feel safe.

Pat made his choice.

Now it's time for Jeng to make his.

[always-a-king-or-queen]

there are literally so many reasons why we don't need a third Narnia adaptation

first of all, while they might not be the most accurate, the Disney movies are actually so good and, in my opinion, still manage to capture the heart and soul of the series and what it's truly about. The characters are each perfectly portrayed; the Pevensies act like actual siblings and yet love each other dearly and would die for each other even through all the petty arguments; the music creates perfect atmosphere and emotion and never fails to make me tear up or get shivers down my spine; and the CGI is honestly just absolutely stunning.

I really do not feel like we need another adaptation by Netflix.

Especially not through Netflix.

Netflix has already been known to mess up so many shows and movies by completely changing the source material or adding in unnecessary things that completely take away from the purpose of the story. I can already see them warping Narnia into something that barely even resembles the books, that strips it of its purpose and simply makes it about a fantasy world, nothing more. I've already seen posts saying that the new movies just can't end the way the books end, that heaven must be explained away, that Susan never forgets and falls down a dark path, that the faith aspect must be taken out so as not to offend new viewers.

Here's the thing.

If you take faith out of Narnia, you remove the very heart of the series. you remove the entire purpose. Because Narnia is entirely about faith, and trust, and Someone greater than yourself who sacrifices everything to save your own traitorous soul. the Disney movies did not shy away from portraying this faith as openly as possible. if anyone was offended, I've never seen proof. I have seen many nonbelievers talk about how much they were affected by Aslan's death, which goes to show that you simply don't have to be Christian to understand what Narnia is about, and to love and enjoy it.

So if these new remakes remove the faith aspect, then what is the point? four siblings go to a magical land and save it from a witch and befriend a talking lion with nothing special about him and live there as kings and queens and return home and live happily ever after? there is no sacrifice, there is no "he's not tame, but he is good," there is no creation, there is no redemption, there is no last battle, there is no "in your world, I have another name", there is no sister straying down a dark path because she has forgotten how to hope, and then returning because her story is unfinished and the road to heaven is paved with flowers that symbolize her name.

so then, what are you left with? Aslan is just a talking lion, nothing more. the stone table never cracks, the sun never rises. "That by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there" is forgotten entirely, because why would Aslan exist in our world if he is merely a talking lion in Narnia? Aslan's country is changed to be something else, and there is nothing about how Aslan suddenly no longer looks like a lion, and how the things that happened after are more great and beautiful than can be described. Edmund's life is never threatened because of his traitorous deeds; Aslan never offers his own life in place of a guilty boy, is never killed, is never resurrected.

the very core of Narnia is removed, and what you are left with is emptiness.

sure, it might make for a good fantasy story nonetheless. you might still have sweeping views and epic music and an intriguing plotline, but something will always feel like it is missing. like there is an empty hole, desperately needing to be filled.

of course, I don't know that all of that will happen; it's just speculation at this point. But I am fairly sure that it is safe to predict these upcoming movies as such. I highly doubt the producers will want to include the faith that shapes Narnia, because according to them, having a faith aspect means less viewers since too many people would be offended.

but if only they would look at the already wonderful existing adaptations, they would know that is simply not the case.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Small Bump

Summary: Just when things were going great for you and your loves, what seems like another amazing life-changing moment takes place only for it to all fall apart right from under you.

Word count: 4.5k

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

All three of you laid in bed panting softly as you each worked your way down in a sweet afterglow of lovemaking, feeling the gentle touch across your skin from Rhaenyra as Daemon watched on which just made you look over at him with a raised brow as he seemed to be taking in something about you which caused you to smile but lightly tilted your head "Is there something wrong darling?". A smile crept onto his face as he wrapped his arms around you. He turned his head to kiss your cheek. "Nothing at all, my love. Just appreciating the sight." Daemon's hand trailed down your body, coming close to the curve of your hip enjoying how your different skin tone glowed before sliding down toward your inner thigh. "Just appreciating every sight I get of you," he whispered, his voice husky. He smirked while lightly brushing the hair from your face, his fingers trailing slowly down the soft skin of your arm. "I'm happy. I'm happier than I've been in a very, very long time. And I'm not just referring to the sex we've just had. I've never had this much fun, this much comfort with someone in my life. You make me feel more human than I have in decades. That is why I've been looking at you for a while." He continued his tender touch moving across your body before stopping at your stomach and looking down before glancing up at you as he whispered, "I believe you should be expecting change love and have been for some time now."

Rhaenyra looks at Daemon for a moment and then at your stomach with curiosity, and then a smile spreads itself on her features as soon as it is clear to her what he meant. She hugged you tightly, burying her head in your neck and her eyes welled up with tears. "Oh, love…" Rhaenyra whispered and kissed you passionately. "I am so happy." She sniffed happy that there would be another sweet little babe joining the family, wiping away a tear and smiling. She placed her hand on your soft belly as you only shook your head with a chuckle that Daemon was assuming you were pregnant. "I think I'd know if I was expecting." As you and Daemon continued to kiss, Daemon brushed back your hair. A hand lightly caressed your stomach and he let out a soft, satisfied moan into the kiss. "Just a feeling I had we all know I'm never wrong," he whispered against your mouth and then leaned his head back with his eyes closed. "Now that we have the throne, we should start our family. We cannot allow the Targaryen line to grow weak. We must continue our royal legacy."

You nodded in agreement and smiled as you nuzzled yourself a little closer until you were resting against his chest. "Yes, my love but I'm sure I'm not carrying But if it'll give you and Nyra some peace of mind I'll go see a maester tomorrow" The thought of you carrying a child of Daemon's made you feel butterflies in your stomach. "We can't let the Targaryen bloodline die out." You pressed your soft lips to Daemon's neck and smiled before leaning back against Rhaenyra who simply cuddled closer seeming happy if you were with a child. He leaned forward to bite your ear playfully. "And, what if I just wanted another child? Do I not have the right to demand children from you?" He leaned his head to the side, his words laced with a playful tone. A brow rose slightly at your words, his eyes closing as he smirked. "I am glad to see you agree with that, my love." Daemon leaned forward to kiss you again, one hand still trailing down your skin until it fell around pulling you closer. You could feel his chest rise with each breath he took, and in truth Daemon found the sensation to be quite comforting. "We shall see," he said with a smile of his own. "But for now, let's just enjoy this moment, shall we?" he whispered, his voice hushed. Rhaenyra leaned forward, pressing your foreheads together, and smiled. She placed a gentle hand on your stomach. "I hope you are, my love," she whispered.

The next day you had gotten ready with both Daemon and Rhaenyra enjoying the soft touches and playful teasing between all three of you, going about your day even getting used to your new duties since you and Daemon had more important roles now within the realm even if you weren't used to it. Finally getting some free time you made your way to the maesters and explained you wanted to be looked over for which had caused you to lay back waiting until it was over just to hear that Daemon was right that you were, in fact, pregnant and about nearly two months alone as you sat there in shock before walking through the halls seeing Rhaenyra as you gently pulled her away still taking in the news "He was right…Last night when Daemon said I should be expecting change and that I was pregnant…he was right I am." She stood just nearly as shocked as you "You mean… You're pregnant?" She looked at you in surprise. Even with your words, she couldn't believe this news. She walked closer to you and smiled down, then embraced you tightly. "This is wonderful, my love." She kissed your lips softly and smiled again. "We'll have a new life soon, my sweet. Our own son or daughter. It is a blessing." Rhaenyra caressed your cheek and smiled.

She looked at you with a small frown on her face. "Daemon had to go to Dragonstone. He has business to attend to. But he will come back soon." She kissed your forehead and smiled. "Don't worry, my love. We have our time together now." As she looked at you with a worried face, her expression suddenly changed as she gave you a soft hug. "Are you happy? You have given us a beautiful surprise." She smiled "But I am sure he'll be happy to know that." She caressed your cheek lovingly, looking right into your eyes. Your pregnancy was something to celebrate. You sighed but nodded in understanding before smiling softly as you looked up at her sad that you couldn't tell Daemon the news yet but figured that would make it all the more special when you finally could. Kissing Rhaenyra softly on the lips again before shrugging your shoulders "I guess we'll just have to wait then." Going about your day beside the blonde woman until it was late at night and you both got ready for bed together. After dinner, you both head to your bedroom. You were both in your nightgowns. Rhaenyra was still thinking about the good news. She walked closer to you and smiled. "What would you name our son?" She said in a dreamy voice. "I want a name that would befit House Targaryen, but still… beautiful and unique." She leaned closer to you, her lips on your neck, nuzzling it. "What do you think of the name 'Baelor?' I hope Daemon would agree to it as well." She smiled down at you with a hint of worry on her face.

You chuckled as you looked up at her with a smile on your face. "Baelor… that would be a good name for our son. And Daemon would surely love it." You leaned up and placed a gentle touch on your wife's lips. "You know I adore you," you whispered, as you brushed a lock of hair away from her face. "Let us get ready for sleep. Tomorrow, we shall have the whole night." You said with a wink. "What name shall we give our daughter?" You whispered, with the thought on your mind. "Let's see… I think "Alysanne" would be a nice name if we had a daughter." She smiled down at you and looked at your belly, thinking about the baby is growing bigger inside. "My sweet, I think Daemon would be overjoyed and excited to know that we're expecting a child. Our child." She pressed a kiss on your forehead. "Now, let's go to bed. I can't wait to see Daemon and tell him that we will have a child." She chuckled and leaned to kiss you again. "Good night, my love." "We will tell him together." You said with a smile. You placed your lips gently on the nape of her neck and gave it a kiss. "Goodnight, my sweet." You whispered. You rolled onto your side and placed an arm around Rhaenyra, nuzzling up against her chest. As your eyes grew dim, your lips parted. "I love you," you whispered.

"I love you too." She whispered as she gave you one last kiss before cuddling into you. "I can't wait to see Daemon when he gets back, he will be delighted to know the good news." She snuggled into you, and her head rested comfortably on your chest as you both slowly drifted asleep for the night. At some point during the night, you slowly woke up to discomfort and blinked while looking around as you tried turning around and onto your other side only to groan at more pain becoming prominent which led you to sit up as you grabbed at your stomach whining and closing your eyes tightly trying to figure out what was happening as more broken whimpers left past your lips "Please no." After few moments, Rhaenyra finally opened her eyes and rubbed her eyes, trying to get the sleepiness away. Her eyes widen with a look of concern and worry when she heard you, and her eyes scanned the room, trying to see what's wrong. "What is it, my love?" Rhaenyra looked at you and her features softened. "Are you okay? What happened?" She sat up.

You took deep breaths as tears welled up in your eyes before looking over at Rhaenyra, shaking your head as you took hold of her hand "Something hurts Nyra." Grabbing at your stomach more as you bit down on your lower lip then let her start to help you up from the bed only to look up at her when you heard the gasp fall past her lips "What? What's wrong?" You looked down only to let your jaw drop as more tears welled up in your eyes upon seeing the dark red substance before letting your shaky hands grab at your nightgown "What's happening?" You spoke knowing you'd have to go see the maesters right away. Rhaenyra's eyes widened in shock as she gently helped you up, her face turned from worry to horror. She looked at the bed sheet and immediately knew something terrible had happened. In a quick and worried tone, she took your hand and led you out of the room. "Oh, gods," She said worriedly and quickened the pace, walking with you to see the maester. When you both arrived, she knocked on the door and it quickly opened. "A maester, please, at once." She yelled needing them to act in a rushed hurry.

Your eyes still wet with tears and your head hurts with each movement. The maester answered the order that came from the servant who was sent to get him and opened the door. "What happened?" The maester asked, a worried look in his eyes. You looked down at her hands as she felt a sudden rush of weakness with another whine leaving her throat. "The babe?" The maester exclaimed, rushing towards you and Rhaenyra. "My lady, how are you feeling? What happened?" Rhaenyra looked down, still in shock, then looked up at the maester. Her eyes were filled with tears as she held you in her arms protectively. "Please… Save her. She's bleeding inside. There's something wrong with our baby." Her voice was filled with fear, worry, and sadness. "It's… It's been so hard for us. I… I have never felt happier in my life as I did when I knew I was carrying… our baby. And… and now… This…" Rhaenyra looked at you as if remembering when this happened to her, her face etched with tears and sadness as she took your arm and supported your weight as you stumbled and nearly fell down. "I lost our baby." You sobbed, your eyes filled with tears. "I lost our child." "Is she?…" Rhaenyra whispered to the maester and her voice broke on a whimper she couldn't hide the tears as her eyes widened in pain. Her expression became even sad, as she looked at you with worry. "Please, do something."

Looking at Rhaenyra with sorrow, not just for the baby but for her and Dameon. They had been nothing but kind and loving, how cruel must the gods be to rob all three of this baby? Your tears welled up and fell onto your cheeks more than before. "Rhaenyra, my love, I am so sorry," you muttered, as you embraced Rhaeneyra and pressed your head against pillows as you laid down letting the maester look everything over. "I am so sorry." You tried to bury your grief and replaced that emotion with determination even as you kept crying. "We will have another baby." You vowed.

Rhaenyra sniffed and wiped away a tear, still with a look of heartbreak on her face as she looked at you, her eyes slowly welled up with tears again. "You're right. We will." She placed her hand on your cheek. The maester examined you once again, before telling you that you must recuperate and rest. Laying back numbly after learning what happened this not being a first but did nothing to lessen the pain or break in your heart was feeling. You stared up at the ceiling wondering how this came to be but sighed softly as tears welled up in your eyes once more before letting out a broken whisper toward Rhaenyra "Don't tell Daemon…please I can't handle having failed you both or that he's lost another babe." Rhaenyra gently pushed your head back onto the pillow, not liking that you wanted to keep this from Daemon, but knew that she couldn't force you. She brushed some hair away from your face and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. "And, you never failed us, my love… We all failed when we lost our little angel." She said as tears ran down her cheeks. "You know we should…" Her voice trailed off, and she shook her head. She leaned forward to kiss you then gently wiped away your tears."No… I will not tell Daemon. I won't make him suffer with this news." She smiled comfortingly. "Let us just get you in bed for now."

They gave a mixture of herbs to ensure your health and to help you sleep. "Don't worry, my love. We shall soon try again." She smiled gently down then sat beside you and took your hand. She watched how after a few minutes your eyes slowly fell shut before closing her eyes as she took a deep breath collecting herself before making it known to the maester and any servants in the room that this news was not to leave the room and make its way around the realm for all to know. The herbs had worked, as you felt yourself drift off to sleep. It had been a difficult evening, and the mixture of grief, sorrow, and anger had taken its toll. You held Rhaenyra's hand as you drifted off and whispered into your ear. There would be more children to come and the gods would not deny a family as blessed as this love again. Even as the next few days passed by and Daemon was coming back you hadn't moved much from your spot on the bed even making it clear not to say anything to him about what happened as you didn't want to upset him.

As the days passed, Rhaenyra was always by your side, holding your hand as she looked upon you with worry. Daemon's return got nearer. She was nervous and anxious for a chance to tell Daemon about what happened. But she worried that her feelings would make him sad, or worse, angry. And she would hate to see him suffering. Finally, it was the day Daemon returned. Rhaenyra looked at you and smiled while she still gripped your hand tightly. "You should get ready." She said, with a worried look on her face when she looked towards the door. Daemon stood in the yard noticing something was wrong especially due to everyone giving him looks as he passed by but shrugged it off as he was happy to be back to you and Rhaenyra. As he entered the keep, the first thing he saw was Rhaenyra standing with you. Rhaenyra looked worried, which she always did when something was wrong, but this seemed worse. "What is it? Has something happened?" He asked. He approached more into the room looking at both of you only for neither of you to say anything about what happened. Rhaenyra gulped, looking at Daemon. She didn't want to be the one to tell him especially since you had asked her not to say anything. She hoped he would forget about it and everything would return just as normal. But She knew he wouldn't forget. And, she knew there was no chance for this not to affect the family. She took a deep breath and shook her head trying to smile like nothing was wrong. "No darling. There's nothing new, dear." She said gravely, as she squeezed your hand and squeezed it tightly, giving you comfort. Daemon looked at Rhaenyra in confusion and concern as you gave a small smile but started to leave as servants had to help since she was still weak.

She's hiding something, or was trying to hide it, he thought. Rhaenyra always did that when she did not want to tell you or him something. He turned to face Rhaenyra directly after watching you leave the room with help. She has to tell me now was his first thought "Whatever it is that happened, Rhaenyra, you know you can talk to me about it. You can trust me." He smiled at her. He hoped that would be enough to make her tell him what was wrong. Daemon had always been able to read through Rhaenyra's lies and excuses. Even with this sensitive issue, she couldn't help to hide behind a white lie. "I know." She sighed and looked down, trying to gather up the courage to confess the truth to Daemon. She took a deep breath and looked up. "Y/N…" She gulped and tried to look for the right words. "Just isn't feeling well." She winced as it all became real again. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, not wanting Daemon to see her tearing up. Rhaenyra sighed and looked at Daemon. "I'm not sure whether this is my place to tell you, Daemon." Rhaenyra didn't really want to tell Daemon what happened since she didn't want to break his heart. Especially since they just got reunited from Daemon's long trip. "I'll leave it to Y/N to talk to you if that's okay with you?" She hoped Daemon would believe her lie, if not, she would have to tell him. She smiled at Daemon gently.

He raised an eyebrow when Rhaenyra tried to tell him that you simply 'weren't feeling well', he doubted that was the case. But he had to trust Rhaenyra for now, even if he sensed something was wrong. His wives knew when he would not be okay with something and always told him the truth, even if he had to wait a while. He looked at her and smiled. "Aha….Okay, if you insist. I will have a talk with Y/N then." He kissed Rhaenyra's forehead and turned to leave the room. The next few days of trying to ask and understand what happened during his time away, only to keep getting shut out hearing you weren't ready to speak on it yet which caused him to grow annoyed but nod along giving in each time. However, once a full week passed Daemon felt as if he couldn't wait any longer and entered the room quietly as he gently sat down next to you before placing his hand on your shoulder giving you a tender smile before sighing heavily as he softly asked "Something's happened and nobody is telling me anything….Please tell me there is no use in sparing the details because even just seeing how heartbroken over what's happened in you and Nyra I need to know so just please, tell me."

You let Daemon sit beside you. You didn't look at him but you knew he was there. You tried to muster the courage to tell him but felt like you still couldn't do it. The shame felt was too strong and powerful and it took a lot out of you to try to keep from crying. But as you saw how hurt and worried Daemon was, you knew you couldn't delay it any longer. Sighing as you turned to look at Daemon and swallowing hard as you tried to tell him what happened. "… I… I lost the baby." That was all that could be said before you cried. His whole body froze. "What?" He asked, his mind racing with questions to confirm that he'd heard it right, but as soon he saw the tears on your cheeks he knew what you had said. Oh Gods, he thought. No. He felt as though he might faint. How could this have happened? How could this have happened while I was away? Why didn't Rhaenyra say something? He pulled you against himself and held you tightly, not knowing what to say, not even knowing how to feel. He just felt lost. Waiting patiently for you to tell him what exactly had happened in detail if you could. It was obviously something sad, and by the time you finally spoke, you were already crying. After a moment of just sitting there with you, he kissed her forehead gently. "My love, I'm so sorry," he whispered.

You couldn't look at him, as the shame and guilt overwhelmed you. You couldn't bear it if your words hurt Daemon. You felt it was all your fault. You kept staring at the floor, tears in your eyes, breathing steadily so it wouldn't seem that you were crying so hard. Knowing Daemon was also hurting, and you didn't want to be the reason why he would feel grief and pain. "I… I lost the baby… I am so sorry, it's all my fault." You whispered quietly, your voice cracking on the last sentence, sniffing and crying your eyes out, but were comforted by Daemon's strong embrace. You then looked down at your lap, trying to gather yourself, only to bury your head onto Daemon's chest, as you sniffled. "It was in the middle of the night." Finally managing to muster the words. "I woke up and felt that something had happened, There was so much pain. By the time we got to the maester, they told us that my baby had passed away." He listened carefully to everything you were telling him and felt his heart crack every time you got close to tears again. I don't know if I can bear this, I thought. "Y/N, sweetheart, it is not your fault. You can't control things like that." He squeezed you more tightly against him. "I know it is hard to think right now, what you've said is true. But don't blame yourself for this." He tried his best to comfort you as you buried your head against his chest. At that moment, he felt your pain the most and wondered if Laena and Rhaenyra felt just like this when it happened to them.

At Daemon's comforting words, you looked up at him with a weak smile. "Thank you… It is hard to not feel any shame. It was our baby." You sniffled as you continued to lean onto Daemon as he held you close. You looked up at Daemon and wiped away your tears with your sleeves. You hugged Daemon tightly, your smaller frame pressed against his chest. "I'm sorry…" You whispered. "I don't know why.." You sighed heavily. "How will you be able to look at me the same way again?" You suddenly spoke with your voice filled with worry. "Will you not love me anymore..?" Your eyes looked into Daemon's eyes, awaiting in fear of his answer and reaction. He held you tightly, his eyes looking into yours and making sure you understood him perfectly. "And why should I not look at you the same way again? You're still my wife, who I love with all my heart and soul and more. Nothing about you has changed. You're still the same person." He kissed your lips softly, to show his affection. "No, nothing has changed. I will love you the same way." He said to you confidently, hoping to reassure you and make you feel better. He looked into your eyes as he tried to smile, trying his best to comfort you and make you feel loved. He wanted you to know that no matter what happened, you would get through it together. "You are still the same, and the most beautiful person I know," he whispered. "I will love you the same, no matter what, and I'm so sorry for not being here for you when it happened." He caressed your face and slowly leaned in to kiss your lips softly. He felt your body tense up, but it was the best way he could assure you what he was saying was true.

Daemon's kisses made you feel a bit more loved and reassured not just by Rhaenyra, and for that, you were ever thankful. You nodded your head with each word he spoke, wanting him to know that you were listening. You even smiled a tad bit, even though your tears still came streaming down. It was clear you were still very heartbroken, but Daemon's presence made you feel at least a little bit better. As Daemon leaned in to kiss you gingerly again, you hugged him tightly, not even aware if you tightened your hug on him. You were just too happy to see him. After the shared sweet kisses, you looked at Daemon, your tear-filled face showing your love. Your eyes then met his and gave him a faint smile. "Thank you, my love." You looked down at your lap. "And what if I tried again?" You looked back up quickly at Daemon. "Will it… Will it be fine if I tried again to have our children?". He slowly pulled back from the kiss and held you in his arms while sitting next to you. You looked so sad, he couldn't imagine what you were going through. His mind raced with thoughts, Why would the gods torment you so? Your words did catch him off guard but he was glad you said them. "I would love us to try again," he said softly. He caressed your face once more delicately. "We will try again, as many times as you would like, dear," he said while he held your chin. "And we will succeed in having children one day."

[deadgirlwalking91]

New Guitarspear fic! 🎸 🗡️ chapter one below ⬇️

‘Thank You for the Venom’

Summary

Meet Adam. Commander of the Exorcist Army, arrogant loudmouth, womaniser, professional slacker.

And there’s Lute. Liuetenant of the Exorcist Army, hardass, cold bitch, overachiever.

They’ve been at each other’s throats for years – ever since anybody can remember. When Lute undermines Adam’s authority and presents an improved Exorcist training program to his superior, he makes it his sole mission to ensure her project is a failure.

What he doesn’t realise is that she’s usually two steps ahead of him.

What neither of them realise is that the Exorcists are taking bets on how long until one of them finally wakes up and sees what’s clear as day to everybody but them: that they’re both head over heels for each other.

I own none of these characters, they’re just super fun to write about. The swearing is plentiful, there’s talks of violence and there might be some spicy scenes down the track. The plan is to keep this light-hearted and fluffy (well, as fluffy as a story about these two can be), but as always things may change down the track.

This takes place before the events of Hazbin Hotel, and before Vaggie falls.

I’m planning to post this on Ao3 too… once I’m accepted.

***

Chapter One

Adam & Lute’s Office, Exorcist Training Centre, Heaven

Lute knew she’d messed up this time.

If she had an ordinary boss, she might only cop a slight reprimand for going over his head – an uncomfortable conversation, promises of ‘I’ll never do it again’, waiting for time to pass until the awkwardness of the situation wore off and they could go back to business as usual.

Unfortunately, her boss was far from what most would consider an ordinary angel – both in title and temperament. Which consequently meant his reaction to her undermining him would be… hostile, to say the least.

“I can’t fucking believe you went to Sera without talking to me first!” Adam bellowed, pounding his fist on his desk. Old coffee cups, abandoned paperwork and scattered stationary threatened to spill over the edge, littering the already cluttered floor around his workstation. “Fucking low blow babe, even for a kiss-ass like you.”

Don’t rise to his anger. Keep a cool head. Explain your case.

“Sir,” Lute laced her fingers together and placed them on the surface of her own desk, ready to state her case for taking her proposal directly to the High Seraphim and bypassing her superior. In contrast to her Commander, her own workspace was neatly arranged, not a hint of messiness to be found. She cleared her throat. “I tried to talk to you about this a week ago, and you dismissed me.”

“You haven’t said shit to me.”

‘Yes I have,’ she thought to herself, resisting the urge to retort back and begin a verbal tennis match. She knew she’d win – after all, she was much smarter than Adam, and could hold a sentence without swearing, cursing or a sexual innuendo. Stooping to his level would just escalate the situation further than where it needed to be, and if it got to that level she was certain things would get ugly. Fast.

“I’m positive we have had this conversation, Sir.”

“Nup. We haven’t.”

Lute inhaled slowly and deliberately through her nose, trying to supress her already-rising frustration. He was being particularly petulant today, and she found her patience with him was quickly wearing thin. Squaring her shoulders, she continued. “Sir, we were on our way to the eight o’clock agility training session. I remember it clearly as you were complaining that you had a meeting with Sera later that morning. I thought it would be an opportune moment to mention it to you as it would be fresh in your mind when you met with her.”

Adam snorted and leaned forward onto his elbows; the golden facial expression on the screen of his mask fixed into a jeer. “And you think that was a good time to approach me about one of your lame ideas? I thought you were smarter than that. What’s my first rule of working together, sweetie?”

Don’t throw a knife at him. Don’t threaten to disembowel him – as much as you want to. Stay calm, Lieutenant.

“With all due respect, Sir –” Lute growled, her professional tone wavering. “I hardly think that putting limits on when I can and cannot converse with you is conducive to creating a professional working relationship with you.”

“Firstly, we don’t have a professional working relationship, babe. It’s pretty fucking black and white, actually – I’m your boss, you listen to me. It’s not that difficult a concept to grasp.” Lute opened her mouth in anger to protest, but Adam held up a single finger, signalling for her to wait. Dumb move. That single gesture just fuelled the intense rage that was quickly building inside her.

“Secondly, the rule is don’t talk to me about important shit before nine o’clock. Chances are I won’t remember it because I’ll be half asleep, and I’ll give even less of a fuck about what you’ve got so say because you’ve pissed me off before I've had my morning coffee.”

“I’d rather not talk to you at all,” Lute said through gritted teeth. “But, I unlike you, actually care about Extermination Day, and if we continue how we’re currently track-”

“And I, unlike you,” Adam said mockingly in a high-pitched voice that was supposed to sound like Lute’s, “couldn’t give a shit about how many Sinners we slay next Extermination Day, or whatever the fuck it was that you ran to Sera about. The only thing that matters is that we show our faces in Hell on Extermination Day and slaughter some demon ass. That’s it. Those fuckers are scared shitless of us anyway, so it doesn’t matter how many we kill, we'll always have the upper hand. It’s called working smarter, not harder, babe.”

He cannot be serious right now. Does he not realise that our kill rate is slipping, year on year? How this might affect us long-term? That Sinners might start to fight back once they figure out that we’re starting to let our guard down?

“So what you’re telling me,” Lute started, now barely able to contain her vitriol, “Is that you don’t give a flying f-”

“Exactly.” Adam stood up and smirked down at Lute, the smug look of satisfaction on his mark now too much for Lute to bear.

Fuck you, you arrogant prick.

“Conversation’s over. Get back to actually doing your job, Lieutenant, instead of wasting my time with your insignificant, petty bullshit. Don’t fucking pull a stunt like this again.”

Adam strode towards the door of their shared office, pausing briefly as his hand rested on the door handle, his smirk intensifying. “Oh, one more thing.”

“What?” she snapped, head now in her hands. She couldn’t even physically look at him.

“I’m pretty sure we just established that I’m your superior, so a bit of respect would be nice to hear, Lieutenant.”

“What, sir?” Her hands pulled in frustration at her silvery-white bangs that had fallen into her eyes.

“Be a good girl and finish that overdue paperwork for me, would you? I’ve got more important shit to do. It’d be a good reminder for you of what your job actually entails.”

That’s it.

Lute had tried to play nice. Tried to do the right thing and raise her suggestion in a polite, professional manner. Took an alternative avenue once she realised her attempts at improvement were going nowhere. She’d even attempted to sit calmly through his dressing-down without reacting to his bullshit. But now?

She’d finally snapped.

Agilely leaping over her desk so she was in front of his, she picked up one of the multiple long-forgotten mugs that cluttered the surface and hurled it in his general direction.

Lute hadn’t really expected for it to hit him – the act of picking up the mug and throwing it had been born out of built-up frustration and anger at her imbecile boss, a need to expel some of the hatred that had built up over the course of their most recent conversation. The fact that it had connected with the side of his head and shattered into at least a hundred tiny ceramic pieces?

Just a bonus, really. It was just a damn shame it didn’t leave a mug-sized hole in his head.

‘Good. Hope it fucking hurt.’ She allowed herself a moment of satisfaction, taking in his surprise as he lifted a hand to his head and checked for blood. Time to let him have it.

“If anything,” she hissed in a low, dangerous voice. She was now moving towards Adam, one hand clenched by her side, the other pointed threateningly at his face. “Let me get this one thing through your thick head – though more than anything right now, I’d love to drive my sword between your eyes, carve up your tiny, pathetic excuse for a brain and force feed it back to you raw.”

Adam opened his mouth to respond, his surprise at her tone quickly turning to fury, but she didn’t give him the courtesy. He needed to hear this – graphic acts of violence and all.

“Shut it,” she snarled. “Shut the fuck up and just fucking listen for once, as difficult as that is for you. Because I’m not your fucking secretary. I’m not your assistant. I’m here to do my job – which is to provide training and mentorship to the other Exorcists, because you’re too damn incompetent to do it yourself.” Her normally restrained voice grew louder. “Perhaps if you focused more on doing your job, instead of screw-”

“Geez,” Adam drawled, “You’re a fucking little mouthy cunt, aren’t you?” He gripped the wrist of Lute’s outstretched arm, rage etched all over his mask, which had started glitching ever so slightly. Not a good sign.

Ouch. Lute may be the better aim of the two, and more agile, but Adam was had the upper hand when it came to brute strength. She was positive that his hold on her wrist was going to bruise – that was going to be fun to explain once it was noticed. She continued to stare him down, never daring to break eye contact or even blink. She couldn’t let him think he’d won. Even if he did have her arm in a death grip.

She’d rather fall to the depths of Hell than admit defeat to him.

Rap-rap-rap.

“Adam? Lute?” a soft voice called from behind the door. “Is everything alright? I heard something break just now.”

Sera.

Seizing her moment, Lute yanked her wrist from Adam’s grasp and made towards her desk once again.

“Come in, Your Highness,” she called in an uncharacteristically chirpy voice. “Adam accidentally dropped his coffee mug, and it broke, which is what you must have heard. I was just showing him the best way to clean up the mess.”

Adam shot her a filthy look and stomped back to his desk, muttering incoherently under his breath – though Lute was sure she heard the word bitch at least twice.

The handle clicked, and Sera poked her head through the gap between the door and the frame. She frowned at the scattered ceramic pieces that lay forgotten on the floor.

“Are you two… having a disagreement?” she asked concernedly, her large, almond-shaped eyes noticing the glowering looks the two angels were shooting each other. “I thought I could hear shouting.”

“Yeah, we’re fine Sera,” Adam waved his hand dismissively at Lute. “Lieutenant here was just running some ideas past me for next month’s training plan and got a bit carried away.”

‘As if he hadn’t completely flown off the handle just minutes ago’ Lute thought angrily to herself but feigned a smile and nodded politely. Going toe-to-toe with Adam in private was one thing, but she prided herself on keeping her composure around the Seraphim and other senior angels in Heaven. They didn’t need to know about their little disagreement.

Or the hundreds of disagreements that had occurred before this one. None had been quite this heated, though.

This was the only one that had almostended in violence, though. That was a first.

“Oh, excellent.” Sera moved into the room and shut the door behind herself. “What do you think, Adam? Your Lieutenant has some brilliant ideas, which I personally can’t wait to see executed over the coming months. Her presentation to me was very promising.”

The look on Adam’s face was positively feral now. Lute relished this moment and made a mental note to file this look away in her memory bank – seeing him quietly seethe in the presence of his direct superior, knowing it was in his best interest to keep his cool was something she was going to enjoy. To rile him up further, she propped an elbow on her desk, rested her chin in her hand and shot him a quick, satisfied smirk.

Cop that, asshole.

“Yeah,” Adam grumbled, suddenly busying himself with the paperwork on his desk. “They’re good.”

“Well,” Sera clapped her hands together and smiled at Lute, who bowed her head in respect in return. To hear that her proposal was highly regarded by one of the most senior angels in Heaven was praise beyond what she ever expected to receive for her work.

It was certainly more than what her direct boss had ever given her.

“That settles that, then. Lieutenant, if you could please come with me, I’d like to add a couple of things to your training program that I’ve thought of.” Lute nodded and rose from her desk once more, gathering her bag and notes. Noticing that Sera had turned to open the door once more, Adam quickly shot Lute a one-fingered salute to bid her farewell. Lute simply mouthed, “get fucked” in return.

“Oh, Adam, I see you’re working on the monthly training incident report that I asked you to turn in a week ago,” Sera said as he hastily went back to pretending to review his work. “Make sure it’s on my desk by five o’clock, please. I need it for a meeting tomorrow with the other Seraphim.” She turned and glided out the door, Lute only a few footsteps behind – though she took care to accidentally bump Adam’s shoulder with her own as she trailed behind Sera.

“Kiss-ass.”

“Dick.”

Lute closed the door with a little more force than necessary – just for good measure, knowing it would infuriate Adam to no end. Just to rub her victory in a little more. Because, after this round?

The score was Lute – one, Adam – zero.

Laughing to herself, she was sure she could hear Adam cursing her with language colourful enough to paint an entire rainbow as she strolled down the hall to Sera’s office.

Bring it on.

***

The Common Room, Exorcist Training Centre, Heaven

The Training Centre common room was abuzz with idle chatter and echoes of laughter as Lute entered later that morning, determined to continue her work far, far away from Adam. No formal training sessions had been scheduled for that day – the result of his poor timetabling skills, Lute was sure of it.

She would have expected the Exorcists to be using their ‘free’ time to hit the gym, or initiate sparring sessions with one another. Perhaps use the opportunity to enhance their weapon skills or, if they were particularly ambitious, simulation training. Slaying holographic demons was almost as satisfying as the real thing. Just a lot less bloody.

The reality was, on personal development days, the Training Centre turned into a goddamn sorority house. Hundreds of incredibly beautiful women congregated together in the common room, not a helmet or uniform in sight as they lazed about in their casual clothes. Some were huddled together in small groups, hands wrapped around mugs of steaming coffee or tea, giggling at whatever the latest gossip happened to be - usually centred around Adam’s latest squeeze. Others congregated around tables, playing card games (the most popular one lately, Lute had noticed, was an extremely competitive game involving red, green, blue, yellow and black cards that seemed to invoke a lot of shouting and name-calling).

The sight of it all never failed to give Lute a thumping headache. This wasn’t a fucking kindergarten, this was supposed to be work, dammit.

It wasn’t that she was against fun. She knew how to enjoy herself. There was nothing better than cosying up on the couch after a long day at the Training Centre with a hot chocolate, blanket and comforting book. Or an intense, two-hour gym session, sweating her frustrations away – a ritual she religiously undertook every single day, no excuses.

Sometimes, when Lute really wanted to spoil herself, she’d have a bubble bath. Now, that was wild.

Sighing, she located one of the more comfortable, vacant armchairs and slumped into it, allowing her eyes to close for just a moment. Normally she’d redirect the Exorcists to go and use their time more productively but after her earlier verbal sparring match with Adam, she needed a moment to relax before she got stuck into the fresh paperwork Sera had assigned her.

Sera loved paperwork.

Only three more days until I can start to turn this shitshow around.

“You look like hell.”

Lute chuckled softly. Without looking, she knew exactly who had greeted her in such a matter-of-fact way – it was the only person she’d allow to do so without punishment. Opening her eyes, she was graced by the presence of a petite angel perched on the arm of her chair, her soft red, almond-shaped eyes crinkled into a look of concern. She handed Lute a mug of steaming, black coffee which she graciously accepted with a wry smile. This morning’s events called for extra caffeine to get her through the rest of the day.

What an angel.

“Thanks, Vaggie. Rough morning in the office again.”

“Ugh. What did he do this time?”

One of Lute’s favourite things about Vaggie was how she was certain she was the only other Exorcist in the lounge who openly hated Adam as much as she did. Probably because she was one of the only other soldiers who he hadn’t taken to his bed over the years. They both often joked that he was the sole reason Vaggie was a lesbian, that the First Man was so repulsive that he alone caused her to swear off all men.

Lute didn’t have her sexuality as an excuse as to why she’d never slept with him. She just straight up hated him. Plus, it would be highly unprofessional. And he was a cretin.

Did I mention that I hate him?

“He found out I took my proposal to Sera.” Lute took a long sip from the cup, the scalding liquid almost burning her tongue. Perfection. “Then proceeded to lose his shit because he forgot that I’d tried to talk to him about it before I approached her. He thought that I’d undermined him.”

Vaggie rolled her eyes. “Typical. How did it end? Did he threaten to leave you in Cannibal Town next Extermination Day again?”

Speaking of cannibalism, I threatened to feed his own brains to him. That’s normal, right?

“Um, not quite.” Lute began, taking another sip of coffee. “I might have accidentally-on-purpose thrown a mug at his head.”

Also totally normal.

“I’m so proud of you. Did you make him bleed?”

“Sadly not, but there’s always next time.”

Vaggie grinned, clinking her own mug against Lute’s. “I’ll drink to that.”

“Amen. He then called me a mouthy cunt and I’m about ninety percent sure one of us would have caused grievous bodily harm to the other if Sera didn’t walk in at that exact moment. The cherry on top is that she came to tell him we’re going ahead with my plans.” She set her empty mug down on a nearby table and grinned up at Vaggie, who had now crossed her legs and somehow still managed to stay perfectly balanced on the arm of her chair. Tiny little thing, she was. “You should have seen his face, Vaggie. It was glorious. I’m surprised he didn’t self-combust in anger.”

“If only.” Vaggie downed the rest of her drink. “So, if Sera’s approved the plan – congrats, by the way, we need to celebrate - when do you start whipping us into shape?”

“Monday morning. We’re going to announce it in here during the morning address, before we move into the training rooms.” Lute surveyed the Exorcists lounging about. “Don’t know how the girls will take it, though. Can’t say I’ve scheduled too many days like this.”

“It won’t be easy at first,” Vaggie warned. “They’re too used to this kind of freedom.”

“I know, and if Adam undermine-”

“UNO!”

Lute and Vaggie whipped their heads around simultaneously at the sudden high-pitched squeal, Vaggie almost losing her balance and toppling off the armchair in the process. A group of five Exorcists were at a nearby table, playing the colourful card game that seemed to be all the rage.. One was grinning madly as she clutched a single card to her chest.

“What even is that?”

Vaggie’s eyes widened.

“Seriously? You’ve never played Uno? I know you’re a hermit Lute, but come on.”

“No,” Lute admitted, “Who would I play with anyway, besides you?”

“Fair point. But – and I say this with love – I’m worried that you’ve thrown yourself into your work a little too much lately, especially with this new program you’ve created. You need to relax a little.”

“What does it look like I’m doing now?” Lute grumbled. “If I’m not training, working, or exercising, I’m relaxing.”

“Lute,” Vaggie laughed. “I could see how tense you are as soon as you walked in here – and to be honest, you’d be uptight even if you didn’t have a crappy morning. This isn’t chilling out. Relaxing is letting your hair down, getting a drink after training with the girls. Playing cards,” She nodded towards the group of angels, the girl who was holding one card now picking multiple others up from a pile, cursing her friends as they all giggled amongst each other. “Try it, you might enjoy it. It’s actually pretty fun, once you get the hang of it. I absolutely annihilated Scout the other week, she wouldn’t talk to me for three days.”

“Maybe. It’s probably blurring the lines between me being their superior and being their friend, though.”

“Oh yeah,” Vaggie said dryly. “And you don’t think them taking turns being Adam’s flavour of the week blurs any lines, do you?”

Dammit. She’s got a point.

Lute screwed up her nose in disgust.

“That’s different. I’m professional, he’s… not.”

“I’m not saying sleep with them, geez.” Vaggie rolled her eyes and slid into a standing position. “I’m just suggesting maybe try being friendly with the other girls, that’s all.”

“Fine. Once the program’s under way. If they don’t hate me for kicking their asses and making them actually work.”

“You may be a hardass, but nobody’s gonna hate you.” Vaggie held out her hand, motioning for Lute to take it. “Come on. Let’s grab lunch, I’m starving.”

Would it be so bad if I let my guard down… just a little?

Lute took her friend’s hand, allowing herself to be pulled up off the seat. She grimaced slightly at the tenderness in her wrist where Adam had grabbed her – no doubt there’d be a bruise there tomorrow.

“Alright, let’s go.”

Vaggie slung her arm around her friend’s shoulders as they walked towards the cafeteria together. “Buckle up, buttercup. Shit’s about to get interesting.”

***

Chapter Two

[cassofnowhere]

Feel like Maria as a unexplored in general, in the fandom and in the shows.

Not her character per se, but what she represents to Frank, in opposition to Karen. Not as a way to pitch them against each other, but what Frank feels for them and how he organizes it in his mind.

Of course it is quite normal for someone to fall in love again after the death of a spouse, but with Frank and Kastle is a little different because of how integral to his character that death is, and more importantly, his grieving process. It quite literally made him into the character we know, and continues to be, to this day, his main motivation for being The Punisher. Part of his thing is how he can’t never truly get over the death of his family. So like…Maria will inevitably hang over them like a ghost, at least in the beginning.

The Punisher (the show) made this a lot more likely to me bc of how season 1 handled Kastle. Frank and Karen are very clearly in love, or deep in the process of being in love. Nonetheless, it’s something so clear, even the characters themselves can’t deny it, I think. But in the same season, Frank is still deeply grieving Maria. He has dreams about her and the promises he couldn’t keep, he thinks about her daily, damn, the climax of the entire season is a flashback to one of their last conversations. Maria is very much alive in season 1.

So, how is Frank dealing with this? I bet to him it feels like loving two people at the same time, even if one of them is dead. And I know Frank would feel conflicted about it. He seems like the type of guy who believes in One True Love, and more than that, that he found it with Maria and that part of him would die with her. So what does it means that he is falling in love again? And so soon after his wife’s death? How does he deal with that? ITS SO INTERESTING!! ITS SO ANGSTY!!

And I don’t think it’s the same with Beth, for exemple. First of all, he met her way after Maria died. Second of all, I don’t think he loved Beth. He liked her, for sure, he could’ve grown to love her, but that didn’t happened. But he does love Karen.

It’s a shame that the show could never explore their relationship properly. All those questions would rise up and it would be delicious to follow the conflict. It’s really a question of: who is Karen Page in Frank’s life? A question that the show is very careful not to answer, but I wish I could see them diving into it more. But I understand they just couldn’t.

It’s even more of a shame how little fanfics will dive into this too? Most fanfics just treat Maria as dear, dead wife (which is fair), but sometimes Maria will be alive and married to Frank, and he will meet Karen and….nothing comes from that because Maria and Frank divorce off-screen and then he and Karen can be together guilt free. Which is again, a shame.

There was only one fanfic, I think I read who delved into this. I don’t remember the name, but Frank and Karen had gotten together after The Punisher season 1, but then Matt comes back to life and Frank spirals over what he feels for Karen and her place in his life compared to Karen. It’s was pretty neat.