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popeabbot · 22 days ago

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Safe in your skin - Jack Abbot

Summary: Jack's day off for Memorial Day turns into a shift from hell, can you keep him from going under or will the darkness consume him completely?

Jack AbbotxWife!attending!reader

WC: 11.6k

Tags: Child death, medical gore, Medical inacurasies, like 2 seconds of smut in the beginning, violence, explicit language, mature themes, Gloria being so mean and nasty fr, PTSD, flashbacks, flashback related violence, Jack beating a pos dad, New med student being a whitaker 2.0, ideations of self harm and suicide, you and Jack both being flight risks to the roof, A main character having a breakdown in the ambulance bay in front of god and everyone fr, So so so many holiday injuries.

a/n: If you've seen this before NO YOU HAVEN'T anyways, proceed with caution.

There were few days that workaholic Doctor Jack Abbot refused to set foot in PMTC. Memorial Day, Fourth of July and New Years. He had learned over the years how to push past the darkness that followed him, make light in the face of trauma. But not on days that involved fireworks, even his therapist agreed it would probably be better to avoid those days.

Memorial Day was hard, especially for veterans. Everyone wanted to remember their service while, in a lot of cases, all they wanted to do was forget. So on days like today, you and Jack stayed in and went at it like absolute rabbits. (Hence the nickname Jack Rabbot). For most people, 5am might be too early for sex but you were currently working Jack through the adrenaline high of a nightmare. Sex wasn’t normally how Jack coped but he insisted he needed something real to ground him.

“You’re safe, here, with me.” You left hot open mouth kisses down Jack's neck as he gripped your hips for dear life, like you’d disappear if he let go.

“Too good for me,” he choked back, bucking his hips into yours at a reckless pace. You tried your best to ground him, placing a flat palm over his heart, taking his hand and splaying it out over your own. Sparks of white flew across your vision with each buck and snap of his hips but you did your best to keep yourself grounded, squeezing his biceps for some form of support.

“Jack, I’m not going anywhere,” you moaned as he bit at your neck roughly. In this moment all that mattered were the two people fighting tooth and nail to become one if at all possible.

*ring* *ring* *ring*

“Somebody- ah- callin’ you?” Jack asked, finding a steadier pace and taking your mouth back into his. You fumbled around your bedside table, catching a glimpse of your screen.

“Jesus…it’s Gloria.” You groaned, part of you wanted to ignore her, the heat in your belly increasing.

Unfortunately you knew you had to answer, you tapped Jack's pec and he seamlessly flipped you over without disconnecting.

Your hand flew over your mouth to cover the moan that escaped you as you answered the call. A shit eating grin spread across Jack's face. He was loving this.

“Abbot, I hate to bother you but we need you to come in for the day shift. The attending that was in place of Robby called out.” Gloria’s voice was curt, almost annoyed that she was bothered with calling you.

You were more annoyed that she was calling you in the middle of sex with your husband. You pushed against Jack’s chest with your freehand, doing your best to not fall over.

“Uh, yeah yeah I can come in.” You nodded, your vision hazy as Jack slowly rotated his hips. “Does that mean I’m pulling a double since Jack has off?”

“Unless he comes in-“

“H-he won’t,” you cut Gloria off, causing Jack to raise an eyebrow at you. “I’ll work a double, be over there as soon as I can.” Jack bucked up into you right as you hung up the phone, the moans you’d been holding back coming out like a sea of praises.

“I have to work.”

“No.” Jack pouted, pulling your hips down to pepper you in kisses.

“Jaaack!” You giggled as he flipped you over again, back pressed into the mattress. You cupped his face. “Robby’s back up called in, I can’t leave the day shift or the night shift with no attending. It wouldn’t be right.”

Jack groaned, nodding as he kissed your forehead.

“You’re just too good,” he muttered. “I’ll make some breakfast, get ready to take on the world sexy!” You giggled again. Part of you wanted to call Gloria and tell her to figure it out. Jack needed you. But so did all the helpless idiots that would be coming through the hospital doors. The devil on your shoulders was quite tempting but the halo never failed to remain high on your brow.

Texts were sent out to his brothers as you rinsed off in the shower. You donned your usual uniform: Sage green compression socks with little white stars, black OCs and scrubs, a white undershirt and a navy blue jacket you’d stolen from Jack.

Makeup was applied quickly as you tied your hair back, you would make the most of today.

The smell of breakfast coaxed you into the kitchen, Jack stood at the stove humming something under his breath as he rolled burritos.

He had a bag full of all your favorite snacks, breakfast burritos for when you got to work (you planned to at least eat one on the drive over), wraps for lunch and he'd bring dinner most likely. Two packs of gum, some liquid IVs and a bag of candy to keep your blood sugar up.

“Will you be okay?” You asked with genuine concern, snaking your arms around his waist, “I have dirt on Shen I can keep him working.”

“I am a big boy may I remind you,” Jack shifted around so he could look in your eyes as you spoke. Jack had a knack for holding incredible eye contact, it used to bother you when you first met him but, it quickly became a quirk of his you adored. “I spent many Memorial Days on my own before you, my love, I think I can manage.”

“Just remember what we practiced, you have me, your therapist and the boys on speed dial. I love you so very much Jack.” He smiled softly, you rubbed his jawline with your thumb, trying to cling to him before you had to leave.

“If I have any problems I’ll call you, promise. Now here’s your bag of goodies before you’re late to receive your crew,” Jack produced your backpack full of goodies from behind his back and placed it on yours.

“Ugh what would I do without you?” You kissed him tenderly as he handed a coffee filled thermos and your notepads.

“Mmm, crash and burn I suppose,” he mumbled into another kiss, causing you to smile. His strong arm wrapped around you, caging you in his space. You took a second to breathe him in, there were seldom shifts you worked alone so working with the dayshift without him seemed practically impossible.

6:30am

You drummed your fingers along the truck steering wheel, blaring Coming Undone over the stereo. Jack always joked that it was impossible for someone who looked as sweet as you to listen to hard rock. Your hair swayed back and forth as you moved your head with the music.

The suburbs along your drive were flooded with red, white and blue in anticipation for the holiday to be celebrated once the sun rose. Families all across Pittsburgh would celebrate with a lot of alcohol, barbecues, and holiday cheer, you could only think of the amount of trauma cases you would be greeted with. The thought of fireworks quadrupled your hypothetical case numbers.

Your mind drifted to Jack again. He had spent many years pushing through Memorial Day on his own since his late wife had passed, but the both of you knew how drastically he’d improved since you walked into his life. He would be okay but it didn’t mean you wouldn't worry about him.

Stepping out of the truck you were greeted by the cool air of the morning, you pulled your hoodie tighter jogging from the parking lot into the main entrance of the ED. The bustle of the Emergency Department at Pittsburgh Medical was one you had quickly come to love, it took less than a year for you to find your place with your family, the ones who always had your back.

“Well good morning Doc!” Kim greeted you from the nurses station, you smiled brightly, taking your ID from the clip on your pants and swiping it into a computer to log in.

“Mornin KK!” You took your time not being needed to set up camp as day shift started to come in and take over for the night crew, an uneasy feeling started to swirl in your belly but you pushed it away. The morning seemed too..calm? Usually you walked into the ED swarmed in chaos, its uncharacteristic coolness couldn’t help but be unsettling. You talked with Kim about how the night had gone, she hugged your neck before leaving as Kingsley- Dana’s fill in for charge nurse- came to set up her own spot at the nurses station.

“No Robby?”

“Nah, Heather made him take off so they could take the kids to see her parents. I was supposed to have off as well but duty calls!” You shrugged as Kingsley offered you a soft smile. “Plus today is just me getting a chance to traumatize the poor innocent med students,” The smile that crept across your lips was quite sinister, earning a smack on the arm from King.

“No Jack?”

“Absolutely not. He’s spending today with his brothers, not treating idiots.”

“Oh...the day crew has no idea what they’re in for, they got the mean Dr. Abbot!” Dr. Shen snickered as he dropped a coffee off at your area with hand off notes, the board was simple…for now. You smacked his arm and shooed him away, making him promise he wouldn’t end up back here later as a patient.

McKay and Samira greeted you as they clocked in, you knew all of the veteran day shift doctors but you couldn’t look away from the confused med students that stood around the nurses station looking for an attending. Kingsley called everyone over, the group quickly gathered at her call; she wasn’t Dana but she had been trained well and had become quite respected.

“Alright y’all listen up! Doctor Robby won’t be in with us today so this is our attending Doctor Abbot,” she nodded in your direction, giving you the queue to speak.

“Good morning everyone, I know a few of you but for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Doctor Abbot and I will be your attending for today! It’s Memorial Day so I am sure that today will be chaos, please please do not hesitate to come to me if you have any questions. I will be bouncing around the whole department checking in on everyone but don’t be afraid to come to me. I would rather you come to me with a hunch than a severe emergency.”

You looked to the crowd of nurses, residents and med students alike, doing your best to fake enthusiasm as that feeling of impending doom crept back in. “You are all smart, capable doctors and nurses, and we are a team! Lean on each other, it’s a beautiful day to save lives so let’s get out there and do it!”

Kingsley groaned, cringing internally for ever showing you Grey's Anatomy in medical school. Some of the students laughed awkwardly as the residents just rolled eyes and went on with their day as the day time traffic started to pick up. The ambulance bay sat bare and untouched as patients from chairs made their way in and out. You took a free minute to flip through the hand of notes Shen had given you, nothing stood out as needing any kind of immediate attention.

Until the shouting started.

“Security!” Samira shouted from Chairs, your feet were moving before you had a chance to absorb what you were doing.

A man in his early twenties had started beating his younger girlfriend in the middle of the waiting room for not getting him help for his headache fast enough. The girl couldn’t have been older than 17, certainly not old enough to be with the man who was holding her by the nape of her neck beating her to a pulp. Shouting erupted as the people who were healthy enough tried to pull him off of the girl. Dr. Mohan had cut in on the fight, removing the girl from the man's grasp and demanding he leave.

“I’m taking her and we’re leaving.” He spat in Samira’s face, he seemed to be all bark and no bite with a woman who showed no fear. She was anything but afraid as she stood firmly between the two.

“You will be leaving this hospital with security, not her.”

Crack-

You pushed your way into chairs right as his fist connected with Samira’s nose, sending her stumbling backwards, three security guards came in behind you and rushed the man. He tried to push against the security guards in a means to get at Samira again, a look of murder was eminent in his eyes.

You were at Samira’s side in an instant, stabilizing her face. You turned to the sound of crying to see the teenage girl laying in an older woman’s lap, her face battered and bruised. Your blood boiled at the sight, but against your want to pound the man yourself, you focused on the people that mattered.

“Mo, can you walk?” Samira nodded, wobbling as she stood but finding a steady pace to walk, she helped the young girl up and shuffled her into the ED, a handful of nurses at their side. You turned to face the man who was thrashing against security.

“You will never touch that girl again, or anyone else for that matter,” you growled lowly to the scum who’s name you didn’t bother to learn. He screamed profanities at you as security put him in a room alone to wait for police. You took the time to check on anyone else who may have been injured, thanking them for trying to help.

“I’ll find that dirtbag when he gets out, he has no idea what’s coming.” An older man grumbled as you checked his knuckles for any breaks, he was the first to try and separate the couple.

“Trust me,” you nodded, “I know a guy who will make his life hell.”

“Good.”

“Will that poor girl be okay?” Miriam, the older woman who held the young girl, asked. Her words were laced with heavy concern. You nodded, giving her a half smile before thanking her and rushing back to the ED.

You scanned the department for any sign of Samira or the girl before Dr. King was rushing to your side.

“Mel, what's the sitch?” You ripped a pair of gloves from the wall and followed at her side.

“Male, 30’s, gave himself 3rd degree burns by...pouring diesel over his grill to start his fire faster.” She shared a perplexed glance with you as you walked. What kind of dumbass was your first thought, but you knew people who did way dumber shit with way less.

Wailing coming from South 4 confirmed where your patient was, nurses and EMTs surrounded the man trying to calm him down. The sight was grueling to say the least, his forearms were already forming boils and his skin was still audibly sizzling. Do not throw up in front of this man. Deep breaths dude. Deep fucking breaths. You took a moment to compose yourself before going to the distressed man’s side.

“Gotta name?” You looked to the EMT across from you.

“Antonio Vasquez, piece of work here huh doc? ” He answered. You chose to ignore his comment, facing the patient.

“Mr. Vasquez? I’m Dr. Abbot- are you allergic to Morphine?” The man shook his head no as he did his best to hold back his screams. Heart rate was elevated, due to his current condition. All other labs read beautifully given his circumstances. “Kay, let’s get Mr. Vasquez 3 of morphine for the pain and once he’s settled what do we do Dr. King?”

“Clean and treat the wound, keep under observation on fluids, changing dressing regularly.”

You beamed at her. “Well done! Mr. Vasquez we’re going to have someone down here to look at those burns once they’re clean. And maybe, call your friends and tell them not to use diesel for a fire. Patience and safety are key to a successful Memorial Day!”

The man nodded, grimacing only slightly at where his sheer stupidity had gotten him. You couldn’t help but shake your head slightly, trying to hold back laughter at the memory of a cousin doing the exact same thing. Your pager blared from your pocket, you nodded to Mel before stepping out.

North 4- possible lost appendages.

You cringed at the note on your pager, picking up your pace as you crossed the ED. There were still no signs of Samira or the girl but you had full confidence they were being taken care of. You stepped into the exam room to see two girls standing around the bed, in the middle was Victoria Javadi examining the third girl, who’s hand was in a cup of red sugar.

“Javadi, talk to me.” You went to her side immediately, the smell of margarita mix invading your senses.

“We’re totally not drunk I mean….it's only like 8:30 in the morning right?” One of the girls, Madison, hiccuped. Oh great. That red cup of sugar was probably blood. You looked at the two girls trying to decipher who was smart enough to clot the bleeding with sugar. Sugar clots was a trick of the trade, you either had to be a nurse or grow up with a nurse to know it.

“Um- well, the girls came in saying Melanie here cut her hand and maybe cut a finger off while cutting limes.” She leaned in closer to you. “I think they’re wasted…”

You clicked your tongue, pulling on fresh gloves. “Let’s see, ah common case of ‘hand used as a cutting board’.” You cleaned the incision, it spread parallel down her palm, and it wasn’t light. The trio gawked as you placed topical lidocaine on Melanie’s hand and then watched as Javadi stitched her hand with still confidence. Melanie had sliced her three middle fingers but it was nothing some medical grade super glue couldn’t fix.

“So who’s the nurse?” You asked the trio as Javadi worked. The tallest girl, a blonde woman named Leah, sheepishly raised her hand. She was the sober one of the group. “Well done. If you hadn't put her hand in sugar she would probably be in worse shape than she is now.” Leah nodded in full agreement, but her eyes widened as she looked behind you. A police officer stood in the doorway.

“I’ve got this Dr. Abbot,” Victoria spoke up, “finish stitching then walk through aftercare and discharge. Piece of cake.” You nodded, a small smile on your lips. Victoria was so bright, she’d become a wonderful doctor under the right care.

“Make sure to put your charts in when you’re done. And ladies? Lay off the tequila juuuust a smidge okay?” The girls nodded as you stepped out.

“Atticus.” You nodded your head to the man who stood before you, hands resting on his vest. You shoved your hands in your jacket pockets, swaying back and forth on your feet slightly.

“Doctor Abbot.” He returned your nod, keeping his features stone cold.”The man from earlier this morning has been taken in, they did have to treat him at AGH as Myrna of all people caught her fist in his face on his way out.” You couldn’t help but let a chuckle get past you, Myrna had a knack for beating on abusive men.

“I don’t need to treat her do I?”

“No, but we’d like you to come with us to speak to the vic since her parents are apparently out of town for the holiday. She was spending it at a friend's house, or so she told her folks.”

“Sweet Jesus…” You shook your head, lacing your hands atop. “Yeah, yeah. Hey, how's Samira?” You asked as you walked with the officer to Lark Evans’ room.

“She’s got balls of steel I’ll tell ya that, she demanded Kingsley tape her nose and keep working unless her CT said otherwise.”

The two of you made it back to the north wing and into a private room. You knocked a few times before walking in, making sure to announce your presence.

“Lark? It’s Doctor Abbot, Doctor Mohan is getting assessed still, may I come in?”

“sure.” Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

“I have a friend with me, his name is Officer Montgomery and he’s here to help y-“ Lark began to freak out at the sight of the officer. Jumping from her bed she ran to you in a panic.

“No. No, no, no I can’t talk to him! If I say anything he will kill me!” Lark sobbed into your chest, white knuckling your open jacket as hot tears ran down her face. Her breathing was erratic, you sat her down and rubbed her back.

“Lark, we want to help you. That man? He doesn’t love you, he hurt you. He hurt you in public for trying to help. Atticus will make sure you are safe. I promise.”

“He’s gone, and once your parents get here they’ll take you home and we’ll make sure you never see him again,” Atticus added from the doorway, arms crossed tightly to keep his composure at the sight of the girl breaking down. Since Lark was a minor she wouldn’t be able to leave the hospital grounds unless she was in the care of family. According to Atticus her parents were currently on a plane and would be here in a few hours.

“can- can I get some water?”

You nodded, stepping out of the room and dodging Gloria as you grabbed water from your bag.

“Doc-“

“I’ll be back!” You dodged Gloria again, cracking the water open as you stepped back into the room. Lark tried not to choke as she gulped the water down, her throat sore from the bruises that blackened it. You patted her back softly, blood boiling as you remembered the way he had his hands on her.

You held Lark as she told Atticus every bad thing her (ex)boyfriend Jason did: to her and in general.You couldn’t imagine how a sweet young girl like her could get caught up with such a low life loser. You grabbed a box of tissues, handing her a fresh one when needed. When she was done talking she laid back down, wrapping your jacket around her frame. Gloria was blowing up your phone, wanting your attention as you made sure Lark had everything she needed in order for you to leave.

“Atticus, do not leave her side until her parents are here.”

“Yes ma’am, didn’t plan on leaving till I walked her out myself.” The officer nodded as you stepped out of the room to face the devil herself.

“Gloria.” You greeted curtly, arms crossed defensively across your chest. She turned and walked down the hall and you followed slightly behind.

“Doctor. It’s a holiday, we need to get people in and out, not keep people in beds who don’t need them in.”

You stopped in your tracks, gawking at Gloria openly. You worked nights so day shift management was only talk from Robby over brunch before your shifts. You’d heard him go on and on about how much of a mythic bitch Gloria could be. Hearing it was one thing, witnessing it was another.

“I’m sorry. You want me to kick out a girl who was assaulted in chairs when we have plenty of beds open?”

“We handled the incident in the waiting room,” Gloria said flippantly. “Officer Montgomery told you the threat was removed, she’s free to leave.”

You scoffed quite loudly, pushing your face into your hands to avoid doing something stupid. Gloria turned, glaring at you.

“She’s a minor. We legally can’t let her leave. I thought you knew that Gloria? Hospital rules and regulations and such.” It was now Gloria’s turn to scoff at you, your comment leaving her almost speechless. She muttered something about finding a place in the hall before deciding she was needed elsewhere. You took a free moment to text the one person you wanted more than anyone else.

Gloria is driving me up a wall and it’s not even lunch! Hopefully Shen decides he wants more money. I’m ready to come home. Love you babe!

You slipped your phone into your pocket, walking to the nurses station to check the board. Louie was in an exam room- no surprise, the burn victim you saw this morning was on fluids and the girls had left. Things seemed to be evening out, but the board was ever demanding of patients to be seen.

“Fun morning, huh doc?” Samira slid up next to you, her hands folded atop the table. You turned to look at her, a cloud of purple and green had spread from her nose to a black semi circle under her left eye, her nose had been stabilized and taped to the high heavens.

“You can say that again. You feelin’ okay?”

“I popped 3 ibuprofen. I'm livin large!” She laughed lightly. “On a more serious note, how’s your partner in crime? I know he doesn’t work today but I’m half shocked he didn’t just come in with you.”

“Ahh, yeah he thought about it I’m sure until Uncle Jack duties called, some of the guys he served with are getting together until the fireworks get intense so he’s got kiddos galore to juggle.”

Jack's text tone had you slipping your phone out from your pocket. Opening his text you saw a selfie of him and his niece, and red white and blue nail polish messily decorating their fingers. You couldn’t hide the wide smile on your face, seeing the way his dimples etched into his skin and the sun illuminating every one of his freckles made you miss him even more.

“Abbot! Mohan! We got a trauma comin in 5, might be alcohol poisoning, might be an OD” Kingsley called, phone hanging from her ear. You turned to Samira fully, your hand clenched in a fist in front of you.

“Mo, rock, paper, scissors who gets it.”

“Oh my god you’re a child!” Her eyes lit up mischievously before presenting her own fist.

Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot-

Rock-

Scissors-

“Damn. You’re good.” Samira frowned.

“Must be lucky! Hey you-“ you pointed to a med student whose face you hadn’t seen until today. “You’re with me.” The boy's eyes widened in fear but he nodded and came up to you.

“I-I’m Bradley Summers. First year med student.” You couldn’t help but feel bad for the boy. Emergency Medicine was a shit first rotation, but he seemed bright so you wanted to see what you were working with. A couple minutes later EMTs rolled in with an unresponsive couple.

“Hey Doc, I got a woman in her early 20s, unresponsive to touch and her pupils are blown. We got a pulse but it’s weak.”

“Mo, we got a couple so you’re in!” You shouted back to the nurses station, she was already close behind as the male came in, his pupils were responding to light so he seemed to be in better shape than the woman you were assessing.

“Okay Dr. Summers, what do we do?” Once the patient was on the bed, you stood across from your student as nurses got her hooked up to monitors.

“Her pulse ox 70 doc!” Jesse called out over the chaos. “BP is 90/60 we gotta work fast,” he called out again. You looked down at the woman, her skin was clammy and pale. Bradley suggested narcan, you nodded and grabbed some from the medicine cabinet. Bradley administered the narcan and began to rub the woman’s sternum with his knuckles.

“She’s not waking up,” Dr. Summers looked up at you with fear in his eyes.

“Baby if you can hear us you need to wake up, okay?” You administered another round of narcan as Bradley continued rubbing the woman’s sternum. Jesse lifted her eyelid and shined a light, nothing.

“Should we shock her?” He asked.

“We have no idea what she took and she’s not responding to narcan, she has a pulse so let’s put her on fluids and keep a close eye on her, get a tox screen as well..” You walked from the woman’s room to where Samira was going CPR on the man.

“We think it was an OD, he responded to narcan but we just lost him again.”

Administer again in a couple minutes if you don’t get him back, Jane Doe was not responsive, do we have a name for this one?”

“Carl Peterson, apparently they were found like this at a farmers market so who knows what’s in their system. I already got a tox screen ordered.” You nodded, standing out of the way as the team worked seamlessly. After 10-15 minutes Carl regained consciousness, fighting against the people trying to save him.

“Carl-“ You gripped his shoulders firmly. “My name is Dr. Abbot, you’re in Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center. Can you tell me the name of the woman that was with you?” Carl began to settle, eyes wide at the mention of the woman.

“Morgan? Where is she?!”

“She’s being monitored. Carl, do you know if you or Morgan took anything?”

“Uh, no. Other than the fact that I had way too much alcohol in the Pittsburgh sun. Is Morgan okay?”

“Well sir it sounds like you experienced some alcohol poisoning, we’re going to hook you up on fluids and keep you here until you’re better and Morgan wakes up.” You nodded to Samira and stepped out of the room.

Seeing as you weren’t immediately needed anywhere with your med student babysitting Morgan, you took a moment to sit and chart her case and other cases from the morning. There were plenty of nurses around who could chart for you but you wanted to add certain notes for certain patients.

It already seemed like the weight of the world was heavy around you and it was only 11am. You broke open one of the snacks Jack had packed for you, trying to just take a minute to breathe. A headache was starting to set in, most likely from not having enough water. You took a drink from a water bottle and checked your phone.

Another picture from Jack showed him, his service dog Judd and a group of 3 girls with red white and blue tiaras on.

His text read: The princess squad just won the hot dog eating contest- Judd included.

The biggest princess looks quite beautiful. I'd love to meet her ;). Wish I was there, hug the girls!!!

Knowing Jack was with people who cared for him put your mind at ease. If there was one group of people who could keep Jack in a good headspace it was kids, but especially girls. Jack always said he was meant to be a girl uncle, you’d hoped one day he could be a girl dad too.

11:15 AM

More shouting from chairs broke you from your thoughts. What was in the air in the waiting room today? Matteo was close behind you as you entered the waiting area…Myrna. There were people...cheering around her as she seemed to be beating on someone. The cheers turned to fearful shouting as a knife was brandished from her pocket and driven into whoever was underneath her. The same older man who'd growled about Lark’s boyfriend seemed to be the head of the cheering. His cheers got louder at the sight of the pocket knife.

“Myrna what the hell are you doing?!” You ran up to her, she was laid on top none other than Lark’s ex boyfriend who you'd seen what felt like forever ago. Except now he had a black eye and a knife was embedded in his chest.

“I told him if he came back I’d make him regret it!” Myrna barked, you pulled her off of the man and cuffed her to a wheelchair. An officer finally ran up to see what was going on.

“Jeez Myr- okay Bradley take her in and let her cool off somewhere.” Bradley nodded, running up behind you to wheel Myrna away.

“Who’s this fine young specimen? Are you single? Myrna’s looking for another husband” Myrna purred as Bradley rolled his eyes, taking her back into the ED. You turned your focus back on Jason.

“Uhhhh- McKay! Help me with this loser!” McKay ran over and helped you pick up Jason, the officer was close behind as you laid him out on a bed. McKay cut the shirt around the knife careful to not disturb it, the blood was still flowing from beneath it but it was only the dam holding back the flood.

“King! Call YoYo, we have a knife in chest situation!” McKay called out to the hallaway.

“Am I gonna die? Please God, I’m sorry about Lark I don’t wanna die!”

A monitor behind your head started to blare as his heart rate spiked.

“Hey! Chill the fuck out or you will die, Jason.” McKay’s harsh tone surprisingly did calm him down. Jason took shallow shaky breaths to try and calm himself, he had come back looking for Lark to apologize when he’d been jumped by Myrna, again.

‘Woah what happened here?” Dr. Garcia asked, stepping into the room.

“Angry Myrna.” You and McKay said at the same time. The two of you helped her to steady the blade before sending him back for surgery.

“Is it bad I want him dead?” McKay asked after being caught up on his situation.

“No. No, not really.” You left to go check on Lark who was still asleep, her parents were on their way so you were going to wake her up.

“Hey doc,” Officer Montgomery smiled as he let you in.

“Hey. Lark’s parents are on their way but Jason is here so keep an eye out when you walk her out.” You whispered. Atticus’s eyes widened, full of anger. He pulled his phone out and began to text someone, if he pounded his keypad any more you were sure it would break.

“Don’t worry he’s in surgery, Myrna got him, again.”

“Oh cute.” Atticus replied flatly. “Have fun filling that incident report out with the she devil.”

You were almost amused by his comment until something wet was wiped across your butt, You whipped around to see Judd staring up at you, whining anxiously.

But if Judd was here, where was Jack?

Your heart was pounding out of your chest as you ran to find your husband, Judd following close behind. The ED was chaos, Jack could be heard barking orders from one room as Dr. Whitaker and McKay were barking orders in another. Your legs felt like cement as you walked into the room. Jack stood tending to the patient- his niece Amelia who he'd just been at the park with.

“We need to drain more fluids, now!”

“Her lungs won’t be able to handle it, Dr. Abbot. She’s tired.” Princess grimaced at the thought of not being able to save her. Normally a nurse would never tell a doctor what to do but right now Jack was not in a level headspace, he needed the facts even if they hurt.

Amelia wasn't a day over 12, her hair, body and clothes were drenched. An intubation tube was already down her throat as Jack did CPR. Perlah muttered that she was most likely gone when they brought her in. Your heart broke as your eyes fell to her red, white and blue nail polish. The same polish on Jack's hands.

“Come on baby please..please come back,” he muttered under his breath, but you heard him. You always heard him. You stood frozen as his hands pressed her chest up and down, with each curl and squeeze of his hands, a piece of polish chipped away. Each chip was like a piece of his hope shattering. Amelia was gone. She was gone and Jack was here, in the ER, trying to save one of his own children. A place he shouldn’t be, doing something horrific to someone he loved. Tears streamed down his face every time the girl was shocked with no rhythm returning. The nurses all stood shocked and slightly concerned. The stoic Jack Abbot was breaking in front of them.

“Shock her again.” His voice was strained. The room stood still. “Shock. Her. Again.”

Princess picked up the paddles and shocked the girl, no rhythm. Jack pushed on the girl again continuing CPR. You didn’t notice the tears streaming down your own face until nurses in the hall were giving you concerned looks. You searched for Amelia’s parents, they seemed to be yelling at a man outside. Joanna’s eyes caught yours and she knew. Your feet carried you into the room, your arms came around his shoulders.

“She’s gone baby…Ame’s gone.” You looked to Amelia’s parents as they walked in, screams tore from her mother as she fell to her baby. Nolen stood behind his wife, his eyes trained on his baby’s face. Whatever had happened was devastating, a young girl taken before she could even hit her prime. You had always been fond of Amelia, she was the first one to accept you when you and Jack first started dating and you’d been stuck like glue ever since. The nurses cleared the room, giving your family a bit of respect.

“Call it Jack.” Nolens voice came shaky, he was trying not to crack. “Call it so I can go after the man that took my baby.”

“Amelia Jones, time of death 12:00pm.” Jack whispered, the world crashing down around him. Nolen kissed his wife's head and quietly exited the room, Jack squeezed you tightly before following his brother. You could see Whitaker and McKay working on another patient and needing help.

“JJ, I am so, so sorry.”

“Go save that other baby please,” Joanna sobbed, pulling Judd into her lap as she held her daughter's hand tightly.”If she doesn’t live, Amelia died for nothing.” You nodded, looking at Amelia's lifeless body one more time, her red white and blue nail polish popped against her pale skin. Today was supposed to be a happy day, a day for festive nail polish and hot dogs. You stepped out of Amelia’s room, trashing your gloves and ran into the room across the hall. Garcia was pulling supplies to help Whitaker with the girl.

“Somebody talk to me,”

“Lelani Matthews, 7 year old girl, she’s got fluid in her lungs. Got caught on a line at the lake and was drowning, apparently she was saved by another girl because her father was too drunk to notice.” Whitaker commented, working a tube through the girl's rib to remove the excess fluid.

“Amelia.”

“What?” McKay turned, seeing the grief etched into your face.

“The older girl, her name was Amelia.”

As Whitaker extracted the fluid the girl gasped for air, crying that she was hurt. You rushed to her side, brushing her hair away and telling her that everything would be okay, Whitaker looked at her chest on a sonogram as McKay started her stitches, a frown slowly setting in.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, stroking Lelani’s hair.

“Would you, come look at this please, Dr. Abbot?” You pulled away from Lelani and walked to Dennis, it looked like her lung had partially collapsed from the stress of the fluid. You chewed your lip thinking about Amy. Surely there was a chance she was a match? Were her lungs even viable if they had also collapsed? You cursed yourself for even thinking that way. She had just fucking died.

“Get her on fluids, keep her comfortable. Get her on the transplant list. Think you can pull some strings on that Yo?” Garcia and Whitaker nodded as you stepped out of the room, trying to keep your composure. Nolen and Jack walked to the parking lot with the man you assumed to be Lelani’s father. You took a deep breath, making sure you weren’t immediately needed, and stepped outside.

“You took my daughter from me-” Nolen spat in the man's face, he avoided any eye contact, the alcohol radiated off of him. While Nolen was visibly angry, screaming and throwing his hands around, you were more concerned about the silent anger that was seeping off your husband.

“It’s not my fault your kid jumped in to save-” Before he could finish speaking, Jack tackled him and began laying his fists into the man. Nolen made no effort to pull him off, only standing there numbly.

“Jack- Jack you have to let him go!” You yelled dashing across the street and into the parking lot. You walked up behind Jack, fear in your voice as he ignored the man's pleas to stop. You touched Jack’s shoulder softly, he whipped around ready to pound whoever was trying to stop him, until he was met with your fearful eyes and tears. Jack sighed deeply as he stood, shrinking before you, he fell into your arms.

You gripped Nolens arms, your eyes telling him everything he needed to know. His wife needed him. Just like Jack needed you. He sobbed into your shoulder, letting grief overtake his form, you held him through the shakes like always. One thing you would always make clear to Jack Abbot was that he was safe in your skin. You could tell him you were sorry, but it wouldn’t change a damn thing. You could let him beat that girl's father, who was too drunk to feel any remorse, but it would just land him in jail. So until you were pulled away from him, you’d stay standing in the parking lot, with your arms wrapped around the only man who mattered, who would ever matter.

Your phone started to blow up with messages after a few minutes. Mostly Gloria.

“Hey, I have to go back in,”

“I’ll come with you. I’m here, I might as well stay.” You gripped Jack’s hand tightly as the two of you walked back into PMTC. Joanna stepped out of Amelia's room and gripped you tightly.

“Thank you sweet girl, thank you for letting her go when we couldn’t.” You sniffled as you hugged her back, doing your best to keep it together, you turned and hugged Nolen just and tightly. “I’ll take care of her till someone comes and gets her.” JJ nodded, gripping Judds leash tighter. They offered to keep him since Jack decided to stay here at the ED against your loving suggestion. You sent Jack up to an on-call room to change and shower. Dropping next to Amelia as you waited for the coroner, Gloria walked in and sat next to you.

“What do you want?” You wiped your hand down your face tiredly, you really did not want to deal with her any more today. “My niece just died and her uncle had to code her. Please don't tell me you’re here to bitch?”

“I am so sorry for your loss, both you and your husband. Traffic is starting to pick up significantly, we need beds.”

You groaned, pushing past Gloria trying to get fresh air anywhere you could. Paramedics were coming in and out with patients every 10-20 minutes, you’d been counting. McKay and Whitaker had been doing a fantastic job in Triage, keeping people moving in and out as much as possible. As of right now you had at least 10 open beds with most patients being able to wait in chairs to be discharged.

“I don’t want to hear about fucking beds.” You threw your arms up exasperated. “I just counted 10, the girl in North 4 will be out once her parents get here and Amelia-“ you took a deep breath to contain yourself. “We have the beds Gloria. I promise. Now please, go find someone else to bother.”

“I suggest you get a grip and keep your composure the rest of the day Dr. Abbot. One more smart ass comment and I’m writing you up.” Gloria’s voice was cold as she got up and left the room. You sat quietly, holding Amelia’s hand until a coroner came to take her to the morgue. You kissed her forehead lightly, keeping your eyes trained on her now covered frame as she was taken from the ED.

You walked back to the nurses station, feeling eyes all around and sat at your seat letting your head fall into your hands. All you needed was 5 minutes to collect yourself. But that never happened, did it?

“Lark Evans’ parents just got her, I walked her out myself and ran into a man who wants to press charges on Jack for assault.” Atticus laid your jacket over your shoulders, propping his elbows on the desk.

“Why would someone want to press charges?” Kingsley walked up, arms crossed firmly, “he knew the family of the kiddo he lost…no one has seen the other girl's parents, I’ve been on the phone with an aunt for like 10 minutes.”

“No one’s seen the girl's father because Jack beat him in the parking lot.” Atticus gave you a pointed look.

“Jack was knocking some sense into a drunk father who couldn’t even watch his own child,” you shot back, shooting daggers into his heart with your mind. “I can’t say I condone it but you’d do the same if you had to code your own niece and not be able to save her.”

You watched as Atticus’s eyes widened in horror, Kingsley had to cover her mouth to keep her gasp quiet. Her hand found your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. The air was tense, walls were cracking and someone would break by the end of the night. Atticus promised to talk to the dad and see if they could work something out, who said cops couldn’t be dirty and good?

1:30 PM

“Bradley!” You caught the young student as he passed the nurses station, coming in from a lunch break. “Walk with me,” His eyes widened, yet he nodded and fell inline with you as you walked to check in on your unresponsive OD. Morgan had every wire you could think of attached to her, her blood ox levels had dropped so she’d been put on additional oxygen.

“Will she ever wake up?”

“Well,” You logged into your ipad, reading the results of her tox screen, “She had a hell of a drug cocktail so I’m not sure. Hit her with a dose of Narcan and see what happens.”

You watched as Bradley grabbed the narcan and gently held the woman’s head as he administered to each nostril. What you weren’t prepared for was for Morgan to shoot up from her bed, ready to throw hands with whatever she could grab. She gripped the back of Bradleys head and yanked hard.

“I said to get the hell off of me fucker!” She shrieked, Bradleys eyes had turned into saucers as he calmly removed her hand from his hair.

“M-Ma’am you’re in the hospital. We’re doctors.” The woman continued to flail around begging for help, you tried to jump in to help, when she went for the IV. Blood began to spray over the three of you, causing Morgan to shriek more, a couple nurses came in to help calm her down. You drew up a sedative, just to have in case.

“Morgan, honey no one is here to hurt you, we’re just glad to see you awake you’ve been out for a few hours. I’m Dr. Abbot and this gentleman who brought you back to the physical realm is Dr. Summers. Can you tell us what you remember last?” Morgan settled down, taking a few deep breaths. You handed a wipe to Bradley and began to clean the blood off of you as Morgan spoke. Princess cleaned and bandaged her arm and inserted a new IV into the opposite arm.

“I was at a farmers market with my boyfriend. This weird guy kept harassing us about trying his herbal tea, I kept trying to tell him now but eventually took it just to get him to leave me alone.” She began to cry, voicing how stupid she’d felt for letting a man pressure her into taking something.

“It’s not your fault.” Bradley cut in, placing a soft but firm grip on her shoulder. “It is never your fault for a man pressuring you into doing something you don’t want to do.” You smiled softly, his demeanor calming the girl instantly, she silently nodded. You left Bradley to care for the girl and walked over to check on her boyfriend.

“Well Mr. Peterson, Princess is coming to discharge you, Morgan is a little disoriented but she’s awake and you’re more than welcome to sit with her.”

“Oh my god Doc, thank you so much!” Carl hugged you tightly, the first kind gesture you’d received. You gave him a slightly awkward smile before walking out of the room. You were quickly greeted by a mother with a sobbing toddler on her hip, his arm was tight against his chest.

“Oh my, hi i’m Dr. Abbot lets park you in this room right here.” You gingerly let the mother and son into a room, not feeling the eyes that were watching from across the ED. “What’s your name buddy?” You kept your tone light as you took the young boys vitals.

“Elijah.”

“Wow! That's such a cool name, wanna tell me what happened?” You slightly looked up in the mothers direction, she looked like she was a breath away from falling apart.

“H-he was running with a kite and fell and caught his arm wrong, I think it’s broken.”

You nodded and gently pulled his arm away from his chest, he whimpered but put on a brave face, trying to be a big boy.

“You’re doing such a good job Elijah,” You smiled down at him as you lightly examined his arm. “In a few minutes my friend Jesse is going to come get you and take you upstairs, then some nice people are going to take a picture of your arm so we can see how broken it is.”

“Can I have a purple cast?” Elijah asked, eyes looking up brightly.

“You can have whatever color you want baby!” You smiled softly before stepping out. “Got a kiddo who needs to be queued for an x-ray!” When you turned around you noticed Jack had slipped in behind you and was talking with the small boy.

“Oh yeah dinosaurs are so cool, maybe the nice doctor will let you do more than one color,” Jack nodded in your direction as he was administering some pain medication to help Elijah relax.

“Could I do them like your nails?” The boy asked, taking Jack's large hand in his smaller one and examining the chipped polish. Your heart broke seeing Jack slightly falter, a smile crept across his face.

“Yeah kiddo,” His voice cracked lightly. “I think we can make that work.”

Jesse came in to take the mother and son up to radiation, you and Jack took that time to sit together and process the afternoon in silence. You took his hand, drawing small circles over his knuckles, pressing light kisses over each one. You hadn’t even had a chance to look him over after he’d thrown those punches at Mr. Matthews.

“Are you okay?” “No.” His voice cracked again, a sea of emotion hiding behind his stoic eyes. “I think we will be one day, but today we carry on as well as possible and break down when we get home.” Jack made a point to include you in the grieving, Amelia had been like a niece to you, she was your family. Taylor came in with a cast kit, she paid no mind to the moment you were sharing, as soon as she came in she was out. The pain the two of you were experiencing was being felt throughout the entire ED. Families shared pain, they would carry it with you as long as they needed to. Jesse texted you a heads up so you wouldn’t be caught off guard by Elijah's arrival.

‘Well, It looks like we’re going to have to put a couple screws in your arm dude,” Jack drummed his fingers against the ipad as he walked back in from the nurses station. Elijah's mother looked like she was going to faint.

“Woah..like a robot!” Elijah grinned excitedly

“Yes!” Jack nodded enthusiastically, you smiled from the side happy to see your husband get back in his groove. “And don’t worry mom, it’s a pretty invasive surgery, and chicks dig scars,” He winked to Elijah at the last part, making the boy laugh loudly followed by a comment that girls had cooties.

“Well, we’re going to get you ready for surgery, and I’ll have you know my wife is very lovely and doesn't have cooties!”

Jack sent the boy off to surgery and walked the mom to the OR waiting room. You smiled softly, if the day could just end like this you’d be happy. You helped with a few triage patients, trying to get as many people out of the ED before the real memorial day fun came, drunk people and fireworks. Every year they held a huge firework show in the middle of Pittsburgh in the park, and every year you’d have at least two handfuls of people come in with fire work related injuries.

You would never forget your first year at PMTC, fresh in your residency, a man had lit himself on fire trying to be his own firework stand, the scene had scarred you for life. Jack, being older than you but still fresh in his residency of civilian medicine, had jumped in like he was back in Iraq. You had never seen someone act so fast, it was like second nature how he treated the man's burns. You hadn’t known much about Jack back then, aside from the fact that he had some previous medical background but technically had to go through medical school. He was short in his words, and at times his temper, but he was seldom ever short with you.

‘You’re the only one who gets it,” He’d told you one night after you’d found him on the roof. ‘Those assholes are here for the money. Me and you, we’re here because we care. Never let it burn you out, they need us.’

That was the day you fell in love with Jack Abbot, and regardless of the fact that it would be two years after that day before he confessed he felt the same, you stayed beside him. Thick and thin, fire and ash. No matter what the world threw at you, you handled it with grace and care.

Jack had gotten better about managing flashbacks but it would still happen on occasion, you learned his tells quickly. Deescalation was key for getting Jack through tough moments, moments like the one about to walk in the door.

"Code Tan!"

An EMT shouted, coming into the ED with a man strapped to a gurney. Jack was at his side assessing the patient before he was even in a room. You ran in behind him, it was a John Doe who ran into midday traffic. He was mumbling something incoherent, you looked up to try to read his lips, his face was covered in his own caked blood, as you looked farther up to find his injury- you saw it. His brain was pulsating from the side of his head that had been completely torn away.

‘Oh- oh my God!” Everyone looked in your direction, the room stopped at the sight. “We- make sure his back is stable, I’m going to clean what I can, someone page surgery.”

The man's pulse was weak, you were not going to lose him, Jack made the decision to intubate. In, out, he worked like it was second nature.

“Let’s get that leg cleaned and check his road rash for any debris, do we have an ID on this guy?” Jack stood silently beside you, handing and passing off things as you needed them. You’d seen plenty of cadaver brains but to see one pulsing under your touch was horrifying.

“What do we ha- oh woah is that a brain?” Doctor Santos- the surgical consult- stepped in, donning a pair of gloves. She easily made her way to your side, ignoring the rest of the man’s injuries and focusing solely on the brain that was still pulsing beneath your fingers. You took a step back, taking a deep breath to anchor yourself from the reality that you basically just held a living brain in your hands.

“Doc, you might want to see this,” One of the paramedics gave you a pointed look, she wanted you to see it. You nodded and stripped your gloves, stepping out of the room.

“He’s a Vet.”

Your eyes widened.

“How do you know he’s a veteran?” She produced a pair of broken dog tags from her pocket, placing them in your open palm. You pressed over his name lightly.

Curtis Bradshaw.

Part of you wanted to keep this information from Jack, if Curtis didn’t pull through he would still carry some blame but if Jack knew he was a veteran he would never forgive himself, especially today. You nodded to the paramedic and pocketed the tags as you stepped back inside. Jack was going CPR, his heart rate had gone from a thready pulse to none at all. There had been a shift in the room, you spotted the army ranger tattoo on Curtis’s bicep that had been revealed at his shirt being removed, you sucked in a breath of heavy air.

“Push 3 of Epi,” Jack demanded, holding eye contact with you, sweat beading on his forehead again already. You nodded, drawing a dose and administering it through his IV port. Jack stepped down and grabbed the pedals, praying it would work.

“Clear!” His pulse stayed at a flatline, Bradley jumped in, telling Jack he would do CPR so they could focus on saving the man beneath him.

And work you did. You’d spent entirely too much time with the patient, after an hour of trying every trick of the trade, pushing more epi and trying more CPR, doing anything you could to start his heart, but it was no use. You patted Bradleys shoulder as you stepped out of the room to catch his breath.

Jack stood silently over the man.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered. “I’m so sorry Curtis.” You rounded the bed and stood next to Jack, taking his trembling hand in yours.

“I’ll see if he has any family and call them.” Jack nodded, squeezing your hand tightly, his eyes were screwed shut. He was muttering something that sounded like a prayer under his breath. You wrapped your free hand around his arm and closed your eyes, praying with Jack that Curtis would make his transition into the beyond smoothly. It wasn’t fair, he’d obviously needed help, why was no one there to talk him off the ledge? You took a deep breath and stepped back into the heart of the ED. Myrna had Bradley Summers cornered up.

“I’m sorry Myrna, I’m not going to become your secret lover and bust you out of here, you can leave in a couple hours.”

“Oh come on sour puss, it could be fun! My last 3 husbands said I was an excellent partner,” Myrna winked with a sly smile, Bradley rolled his eyes but made pleading eye contact as soon as he spotted you.

“Myr, he’s a first year student, don't scare him off just yet!” Myrna turned to face you with a sly smile.

“Yeah, I remember when you were a first year and you couldn’t stop making eyes at Sargent Sexy over there,” You couldn’t hide how your ears reddened at the mention of Jacks nickname, Myrna laughed and rolled away, complaining about wanting a juice box to one of the male technicians.

“Is she always like that?” Bradley asked with a perplexed look.

“Always.” You nodded. “She really is a sweet lady, she just has such a dirty mind!” You shared a small laugh before going back to the nurses station, Curtis’s dog tags in hand.

“Give me his tags and I’ll find a family,” Kingsley placed an open hand out, you nodded and placed the dog tags in her hand.

5:00 PM

As the afternoon turned into the evening, the severity of your patients grew more intense, more burns and quite a few ATV and road rash accidents as people gathered in the park for the firework show. What no one was prepared for was the 3 car pile up between a truck, car and ambulance in the middle of the bay. You would never forget the sounds of tires screeching and metal crunching. An ambulance came into the bay from across traffic, but a Truck driver who wasn't paying attention clipped the back of the ambulance and hit the passenger side of the car, causing it to flip.

The gruesome noise alerted everyone in the ED. You grabbed Bradley, Jack and a gown and ran outside to assess the damage. The paramedics made it out of the ambulance with their patient, running past the three of you to get inside.

“Check the truck, I’ll check the driver in the car.” You nodded to Jack, taking Bradley and running to the pickup.

“Sir?” You opened the door to see a piece of rebar from the stop sign the ambulance had hit, sticking out of the base of the man's throat. “Don’t talk okay? We’re gonna do blinks, once for yes and twice for no, okay?” He blinked once, confirming he understood. You ripped your coat off and placed it under the rebar to create slight pressure against the wound.

“I’ll go grab a C collar,” Bradley ran back inside, you peered across the hood of the truck, Jack was laid on the ground, his go bag opened and spread out as he tried to talk to the woman pinned inside.

“Hey Charlie, the fire department will be here soon and we’ll get you out of this car, sound good?”Jack was laid in the shattered window of the woman who’d been hit. The woman nodded shakily, she was losing blood, fast. Jack had made an attempt to pull her out himself but she was trapped under the caved in dashboard. There was a crimson pool that spread across her abdomen, drops of it hitting Jack's arms as he sat with her. She had been following the ambulance that was carrying her son.

“I was just trying to have my car...so we could watch fireworks after he got out. I’m not going to be able to do that, am I doc?” Jack looked into the woman's eyes, she’d already accepted she was dying, that’s how Jack knew the morphine he’d given her had set in. He could have agreed, but he needed to hold on to some semblance of hope for the both of them.

“Like I said, once PFD gets here we’ll get you all fixed up. I’ll make sure you have a perfect view of the firework show.” The woman laughed softly at his attempt to comfort her, her laugh turned into a bloody cough. “Easy there mom, save your energy.” Jack pulled a piece of gauze from his bag and wiped her mouth, her eyes widened as she caught his nail polish.

“Hug your girl tight when you get home Doctor Abbot. If I don’t…don’t make it out of this, make sure my baby knows I love him.”

Her words hit Jack hard, he’d been spending all afternoon trying to push Amelia out of his mind but she kept coming back, kept finding ways to tell him she would be okay. Tears pricked at his eyes as he watched the women's decline set in. He felt like he was back overseas, holding soldiers' hands as they died helplessly. The darkness began to cloud his mind, the screams of everyone he’d ever lost started to ricochet in his head. He tried to blink back the noise, focus on the patient.

“Tell me about your son.” The fire department was three minutes out, they could make it. He couldn’t lose anyone else today.

“His name is Adam, he’s a wild teenager but I love him. It’s just me and him, but honestly? We wouldn't have it any other way.” Her breathing became more labored as she spoke, her grip on Jack’s hand tightened. “He- he uh, got stung by a bee. It’s a pretty bad allergy and I’d forgotten his epi-pen. I promised we’d be back in time for the fireworks…he loves fireworks.” Her words began to slur together, Jack held her hand tighter, trying to get her to stay awake. He could push epi but it would make her crash faster once they got her inside. She was fighting as hard as she could but the blood loss was making her tired.

“Charlie-” Jack choked back his fear, “hey you gotta fight a little harder for me? Please?” Jack stared into her eyes, she was smiling at him.

“Tell Adam I love him, and thank you for making me not be afraid.”

The fire engine pulled up right outside of the ambulance bay, but it was too late. Charlie’s grip went slack in Jack's hand. His eyes widened, a mix of shock, fear, anger and despair. You had walked Bradley through stabilizing the man in the truck, the rebar hadn't gone all the way through his neck so once you were sure he was good to go, two firefighters came to help him out of the truck. Jack couldn’t hold back the shakes anymore, everything that had happened today and every one he’d lost. He just couldn't do it anymore. The darkness reared its ugly head, digging sharp talons into the depths of his soul, where his love laid. He weakly held his face as the sobs tore through him. He was angry, at the world, at himself, and maybe even at God.

“Doc, I think she’s gone,” Bradley stood to the side of Jack as the sobs continued. Twice in one day he cracked. And now he sat amongst the people who looked to him for guidance, broken. It wasn’t fair. None of those people deserved to die.

"It's not fucking fair, what is the point of all of this if we can't save them?!" Jack was breaking, you needed to get him somewhere else.

You reached a hand down to Jack, you and now Bradley could be his safe space. Jack took your hand and stood, pulling you into a tight hug.

“I’m not home yet, but I’m hugging my girl tight Charlie.” You wrapped an arm around Jack’s waist, the three of you heading back into the storm. Before you could even make it in a group of punk teens on motorcycles whizzed past the ambulance bay, chucking fireworks at the doorway. Jack heard the familiar noise before he even saw the bikers. He pushed you and Bradley down, crouching above the two of you as one of the fireworks popped at your feet.

“Hey, hey! Get up now before they get our fucking location.” Jack was in full soldier mode, slightly crouched still, his head was on a swivel as he looked for enemies who weren’t there. A smoke bomb made to look like a grenade rolled under your feet, it popped loudly as the smoke began to seep from it. Jack’s grip was firm on your waist as he yelled to the other people in the bay about there being an attack.

“J-Jack. Baby we’re at work there’s no attack.” You coughed through the smoke as Jack pulled you into the ER, muttering about needing reinforcements. "We can go to the roof, the reinforcements will find us there, we'll be safe." Jack nodded in agreement, keeping his eyes trained foreward as you limped through the hospital together. You texted Kingsley to call in your own reinforcements- you were not going to make Jack work any more.

Get Bradley to call Vienna, see if she can come in. We're going home.

All ready on it captain! Vi is on her way

As the two of you stepped onto the roof, Jack realized where he was. The familair breeze grounded him as the two of you sat on the roofs edge. Jack's head fell onto your shoulders.

"Hell of a memorial day huh?"

"Yeah," You laughed dryly. "you could say that."

The two of you sat in silence for hours, the day started to gain its golden hues as the sun began to set. You didn't want to talk, not today. Jack always said you needed a day to feel, then a day to talk. Something his therapist had told him often. If either of you spoke it made the hellish day real, and you would have to face your losses. For now, you ignored the way the ground called to you, knowing you felt better above. Jack squeezed yout hand tightly, almost as if he was having the exact same thought.

"Jack?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Let's go home."

"Yes ma'am." Jack stood first, reaching down to help you over the guardrail. You held each other tightly as you snuck out of the ER, leaving everything but your phone to pick up another day. The night shift was in and fixing the chaos as they did, you were grateful to see Bradley's older sister Vienna work with her team like a well oiled machine. You thought of Leilani, who’d been moved up to the ICU after receiving a lung transplant and to Adam, who’d soon be hearing of his mother’s passing if he didn’t already know.

Part of you felt like a coward for leaving, but you knew you were leaving them in the best hands. Jack was no help to anyone if he was suffocating.

You drowned out fireworks with cheesy rom coms and the laughter the two of you desperatley needed. Beer, vodkas and Chinese takeout littered your coffee table. Your legs were perfectly intertwined with Jacks as you laid against his chest. He played with your hair, only jumping slightly at the pops of fireworks in the distance. He kept his eyes trained on the TV. You took his hand in yours and massaged it absentmindedly, something that helped ground him.

“I love you.” Jacks voice came quietly from behind your head, you let it fall against his shoulder so you could look up at him, placing a soft kiss to his jawline.

“I love you so much Jack Abbot. You are a good man, and a good doctor. We just didn’t have the right cards today.”

Jack nodded, the grief still heavy in his features. You snuggled into him further, his old Navy tee shirt only giving you so much warmth. (Aside from the huge furry blanket in your lap). Jack reached under your shirt, drawing small circles on your waist.

Jack would be okay, because you would be right there to help him.

“Remember, you’re always safe right here.” Jack pressed a kiss to your temple, catching a scene on the TV that made him genuinely laugh. Knowing Gloria was blowing up your phone and ignoring her was worth it. The man whose grip held you securely, your Jack. You would burn the world down for him, and he’d do the same.

He was always safe in your skin.

A/N: Oh my god im finally done I hope y'all love it. Jack im so sorry you're so sexy but someone has to stay traumatized.

Taglist: @ebodebo @kchronicallyonline @weasleysarch @sceletaflores @birdofcauthon14 @glamorizethechaos @pittinmystomach @pinkteaandroses @andrewcodymybeloved

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