My book recs
☆Mostly classics but a few more modern ones in there too!! Make sure to check warnings for any books you read ☆
1. The Virgin Suicides - Jeffrey Eugenides
2. 1984 - George Orwell
3. If We Were Villains - M.L Rio
4. Animal farm - George Orwell
5. Dracula - Bram Stoker
6. Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
7. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky
8. Notes From the Underground - Fyodor Dostoevsky
9. Dante's Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri
10. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
11. Ariel - Sylvia Plath
12. The Collected Poems of Sylvia Plath - Sylvia Plath
13. The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath - Sylvia Plath
14. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
15. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper lee
16. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
17. Macbeth - William Shakespeare
18. The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoevsky
19. The Devils - Fyodor Dostoevsky
20. The Idiot - Fyodor Dostoevsky
21. A Nervous Breakdown - Anton Chekhov
22. Nausea - Jean-Paul Sartre
23. The Wind in The Willows - Kenneth Grahame
24. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë
25. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
26. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
27. Metamorphosis - Franz Kafka
28. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austin
29. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
30. Emma - Jane Austen
31. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
32. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
33. The Odyssey - Homer
34. To The Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf
35. The Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
36. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
37. A Little Life - Hanya Yanagihara
38. The Trial - Franz kafka
39. My Year of Rest and Relaxation - Ottessa Moshfegh
40. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
41. The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
42. Romeo and Juliet - William Shakespeare
43. Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury
44. Selected Stories - Alice Munro
45. American Psycho - Bret Easton Ellis
46. Normal People - Sally Rooney
47. Existentialism is a Humanism - Jean-Paul Sartre
48. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
49. Persuasion - Jane Austen
50. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
51. The Death of The Heart - Elizabeth Bowen
52. The Iliad - Homer
53. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest - Ken Kesey
54. The Catcher in the Rye - J.D Salinger
55. The Outsiders - S.E Hinton
56. The Chrysalids - John Wyndham
57. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
58. Middlemarch - George Eliot
59. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
60. Meditations - Marcus Aurelius
61. Beyond Good and Evil - Friedrich Nietzsche
62. The Stranger - Albert Camus
63. The Republic - Plato
64. Letters From a Stoic - Seneca
65. Man’s Search For Meaning - Viktor E. Frankl
66. The Myth of Sisyphus - Albert Camus
67. Bunny - Mona Awad
68. Belladonna - Anbara Salam
69. The Yellow Wallpaper - Charlotte Perkins Gilman
70. My Life Had Stood a Loaded Gun - Emily Dickinson
71. How We Weep and Laugh at the Same Thing - Michel de Montaigne
72. The Telltale Heart - Edgar Allen Poe
73. The Death of Ivan Ilych - Leo Tolstoy
74. Come Close - Sappho
75. The Fall of Icarus - Ovid
76. Tender Is the Flesh - Agustina Bazterrica
77. Cassandra - Christa Wolf
78. Forbidden Notebook - Alba de Céspedes
79. Girl, Interrupted - Susanna Kaysen
80. Carrie - Stephen King
81. Mrs. S - K Patrick
82. Sunburn - Chloe Michelle Howarth
83. Perfume - Patrick Suskind
84. After Dark - Haruki Murakami
85. Kafka on the Shore - Haruki Murakami
86. No Longer Human - Osamu Dazai
87. Wednesday's Child - Yiyun Li
88. My Husband - Maud Ventura
89. All Down Darkness Wide - Sean Hewitt
90. Norwegian Wood - Haruki Murakami
91. The Waves - Virginia Woolf
92. The Talented Mr Ripley - Patricia Highsmith
93. We Have Always Lived in the Castle - Shirley Jackson
94. For Whom the Bell Tolls - Ernest Hemingway
95. Journey Into the Past - Stefan Zweig
96. Outline - Rachel Cusk
97. Chess Story - Stephen Zweig
98. Diary of a Madman - Nikolai Gogol
99. A Very Easy Death - Simone De Beauvoir
100. A Writer's Diary - Virginia Woolf
Enjoy!!
17 notes
·
View notes
Chapter 9: Really Sure || KTH
(banner by @itaeewon)
Title: What Was Hidden (Masterpost)
Rating: explicit, minors DNI pls
Genre: college!au, angst, eventual smut, strangers -> friends -> lovers -> idiots -> lovers
Pairings: Taehyung x female reader, MYG x OC
Summary: This is how it all starts: Taehyung is flunking Western Lit. You’re assigned to tutor him. His paper on Strindberg’s The Ghost Sonata could pass or fail him for the semester. As you and Taehyung slowly become friends, then more, you learn that there’s a lot more to him than you originally assumed. Together, you navigate your own experiences with the play’s themes: one’s “true self” versus one’s “shown self”, darkness behind the facade, and how people can be quite literally haunted - and it has nothing to do with ghosts.
//
In which Taehyung takes you on an actual date.
Chapter Warnings: language, kissing, groping, explicit sex including: fingering, unprotected sex with bc (this is fiction pls be safe in ur real lives!), penetrative sex, consent king Kim Taehyung
Note: I wanted to take a second to seriously shout out Pauli (@/kookstempo - if I tag her the post stops showing up in searched tags bc tumblr is the worst platform to exist) for her help with this chapter. My brain is full of angst and longing so when I get to these happy scenes, I tend to draw a blank. The entire Christmas festival is due to her - she talked me through every single moment and came up with a lot of the ideas in the first place. If anything you see is sweet, fluffy, or makes you feel warm and fuzzy…. credit her.
Second note…… this was my first time writing smut, ever! It was challenging and honestly a little scary so pls read with forgiving eyes!
Word Count: 5k
I saw the sun and thought I saw
what was hidden
The Ghost Sonata | Scene III
August Strindberg
Chapter 9: Really Sure
Wednesday, December 12th
At tutoring on Wednesday morning, Taehyung works on his The Cherry Orchard paper.
“I think the easiest theme is the one about societal upheaval and accepting change,” you tell him. “You can fill pages with that, no problem.”
Taehyung considers this, tapping his fingers against his lips. “I was thinking about the pattern I see with love,” he tells you.
You give him a look and he smiles your favorite smile, the one when you catch him at something, the one that starts with a flash of uncertainty and then it grows sideways from one corner to the other, like he’s relieved that you find him funny.
“Seriously,” he insists. “You said to look for patterns. Ravensky’s all hung up on her dude in Paris, Barbara’s waiting for a proposal, Dunyasha is trying to get with what’s-his-face -.”
“Yasha,” you supply. Taehyung snaps his finger and points at you, grateful.
“Also the guy,” he continues, referring to the character Peter. “He thinks he’s above feelings, and love, but he’s hot for Anya.”
“So what’s the theme?” you press him. “Their stories and situations are all different. What’s the connection, or message?”
He frowns. “That love comes for everyone, like it or not?”
You frown back. “I don’t think I agree with that as a general statement, but if you think you can provide enough textual evidence to support it, be my guest.”
“You’re Peter,” he tells you, giving you an amused look.
“Does that make you Anya?” you ask, cocking an eyebrow. “I don’t know how I feel about that.”
He laughs. “You’re right, now it’s weird.”
“Besides,” you say, a little defensively, “I don’t think I’m above feelings. Or love.”
“You just want to pretend you are for a minute, because it feels safer,” he says.
“Alright, that’s enough Chekhov for you today,” you joke, but you’re unsettled. Taehyung sees through you - he has from the beginning - and it’s something you’ve never experienced before, not with anyone.
“That’s wasn’t a shot at you,” he tries to explain. “That was kind of a… ‘universal you’ thing. We all do that.”
You’re grateful he’s letting you off the hook, but now he’s got you thinking about it. “After you’ve been hurt, it’s hard not to.”
“That’s true,” he says graciously. You have a feeling you could change the subject now, but something in you presses on.
“Have you?” you ask cautiously.
“Which part?” he says, setting down his book and looking at you. “Been in love? Been hurt? Tried to pretend it wouldn’t happen again?”
“Yeah,” you whisper.
He shrugs. “All three.”
“I’m sorry,” you tell him, meaning it.
“That’s life,” he says. “You get up and you try again.”
“That’s a very healthy outlook,” you observe. “Not everyone has that strength.”
He gives you a smug, knowing look. “That was a very nice compliment.”
You roll your eyes. “Okay, yeah, you’re welcome.”
He glances at his phone. “Three minutes left,” he informs you.
“Okay,” you say. “You’re good on the paper? Do you think you can have some of it done before our session tomorrow night?”
He smirks at you. “As long as someone doesn’t distract me too much later.”
You roll your eyes, again. “I’ll stay on campus tonight, then.”
He pouts. “That is not the response I was going for.”
“Sorry,” you tell him. “I have a paper to write, though. I really do need to stay on campus.”
“Fine,” he says, still mostly pouting. “Hey, do you have plans for Saturday night yet?” There’s something in his tone that you can’t name.
You think about it. “No, I don’t think so,” you decide. “Are you guys having a party?”
“I’m not sure what the rest of the guys are doing,” he says, “but I had an idea for you and me.”
You raise an eyebrow at him. “Oh, you did, huh?”
He gives you that smile again, the one that grows. “I was thinking I could take you to the Christmas festival in town?”
Your whole body feels suddenly warm. You’ve loved hanging out with Taehyung; you’ve loved the deep talks you’ve had, the easy way you can joke with each other, the fluttering in your chest when he smiles at you. But until now it’s been… unnamed. Casual. Safe.
“Okay,” you say, even though your stomach is in knots. What you don’t want is to hurt his feelings over nothing, over your own silly fears.
“Yeah?” he asks, perking up. “That fancy hot chocolate place will have a food truck there that night. We can just walk around, check out the stalls, talk…”
This makes you smile. “Okay, fancy hot chocolate sounds really good,” you admit.“
Okay then,” he smiles, packing up his laptop, and you know exactly what he’s going to say. “Then it’s a date.”
Saturday, December 15th
You agonize over what to wear, a fact that is not lost on your roommates. You want to look cute as hell but you also don’t want to freeze.
“I vote thick tights under a skirt or dress,” Bridget offers.
“That would look cute with the boots,” Kiko agrees.
You flop backwards on your bed in defeat. “I can’t do this. I’m tagging you in, Bridg. Go be cute and charming in my place.”
“How is this any different from going to hang out at the house?” Bridget asks. “You don’t freak out over that.”
“It’s very different,” you insist. “There’s all this pressure.”
She purses her lips at you, looking annoyed. “Because he’s telling you he expects it to be absolutely perfect, with choirs of angels singing and wedding bells in the distance?”
You frown. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course not.”
She points at you. “Then it’s all internal. You’re putting the pressure on yourself. And that means you have the power to stop it.”
You and Kiko exchange a glance, and Bridget presses on, all worked up.
“It’s a date, it’s one night. Your future doesn’t hang in the fucking balance, so lighten up.”
“She’s scolding me,” you complain to Kiko.
“She’s right though,” Kiko says. “Where was all this knowledge when I was panicking over Yoongi?”
“We didn’t know you were panicking,” Bridget points out flatly.
“I definitely didn’t,” you agree.
“I thought it was pretty obvious,” she says, voice small.
You shake your head. “You can’t expect people to know how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking if you don’t tell them,” you say gently.
She goes silent, lips thin.
Bridget is looking at you.
–
When Taehyung picks you up after dinner, he’s got Christmas music playing in the car.
“Setting the mood, huh?” you ask with a smile.
“I heard you like Christmas,” he says, giving you a sly sideways smile.
That’s something you’ve really learned about Taehyung - that guy pays attention. He may not seem like he’s listening, but he is, and he’s retaining information. When had you mentioned liking the Christmas season? You try to remember. You’d said it once, to Kiko, at the bar a week ago.
After parking, you walk side by side towards the entrance. The whole block is barricaded so cars can’t come up or down, and people walk freely down the street. The street is practically ablaze with strings of lights, and they continue into the adjacent park. At the end of the block, a small stage has been erected, and a trio of people are singing indie covers of Christmas songs.
Taehyung leads the way to a semi-circle of food trucks and stands at the end of the longest line.
“I believe gourmet hot chocolate was promised,” he tells you.
“It was,” you say seriously. You try to stand on your tiptoes to see the truck’s menu board. Taehyung pokes your arm to get your attention and hands you his phone, where he’s pulled up the menu himself.
“Oh,” you say, taking it. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he murmurs, looking down at you. You decide on peppermint and pass the phone back to him.
“I’m thinking salted caramel,” he says, eyeing the screen.
“I was thinking about that one,” you tell him. “It sounds amazing.”
The line moves slowly, and you find yourself shivering slightly, since you’re just standing still, not walking.
“Are you cold?” Taehyung asks you, glancing over. It reminds you of the night at the trail, the first time you’d kissed.
“No,” you lie.
He makes a face, clearly onto you. “You’re shivering,” he says flatly.
“I’ll be fine once we start walking,” you say, feeling defensive.
He rolls his eyes and shakes his head good-naturedly and reaches an arm around you, pulling you closer. He is warm. He rubs his hand up and down your upper arm, trying to dispel the goosebumps.
When you reach the front of the line, Taehyung buys your drinks and the two of you head towards the park, where there are giant light displays. People mill around you in both directions - large families with a bunch of kids, other couples like you, even some people who seem to be enjoying the displays in solitude.
The displays are huge, so tall, depicting so many different things, all so bright and colorful. Lights adorn the trees, wrapped around the trunks and up into the branches. Where the trees reach across the walking path, overhanging the cement, it feels like you’re in a tunnel of red and gold lights. Off the path, strings of lights are twisted and tied to form trains, dinosaurs, beach scenes, and of course, lots of Santa and reindeer. You and Taehyung meander down the concrete path, following the flow of foot-traffic, stopping at each display to admire it.
You stop to admire a display whose lights flicker and move in time with music playing over speakers above you. It’s so bright and beautiful, but you find yourself turning to look at Taehyung; his face shines in the glow of the lights, blues and greens moving across his face just to be replaced with gold and white. All those sly glances and careful faces are gone - his expression is just open, honest, delighted. A tiny smile rests on his lips as he watches and listens. Something swells in your chest - you feel like you could touch the spot it blooms from, right above your diaphragm. It makes you want to be closer to him, part of his infectious joy.
You reach over, your fingers finding the side of his hand. He turns his wrist and takes your hand without looking, fingers lacing with yours. He gives it a tiny squeeze and says, “Look, they have that dragon up there breathing fire!”
And then he’s pulling you along, eager, already grinning.
–
As the path through the park leads you back to the street, Taehyung leads you by the hand to the side of the street lined with vendors and stalls. You walk, still hand in hand, peering in at each booth. You pass a lot of artisanal foodstuffs - organic honey, jams and preserves from the local farms, fancy teas and coffee beans, a handmade fudge stand (this one gets your money).
There’s also a healthy showing from local artists - one booth is full of landscape paintings, and you spend quite some time standing, looking at each one, marveling over them. There’s plenty of knit and woven goods - hats, mittens, scarves, socks, sweaters. Taehyung eyes a black and white scarf, playing with the material for a minute before letting it drop back to its spot. You stop again two booths down at a little pottery stand. The artist displays vases and bowls, and shelves of handcrafted mugs, each one sporting different colors and designs. “No two alike!” the sign proclaims.
You gravitate towards a few mugs that are clearly not identical, but must have been painted on the same day - they sport the same deep blues and an almost silvery grey, swirled like rainy puddles on a sidewalk. You pick up two, turning them in tandem, looking at each angle. Instead of protruding handles, they have smooth divots where your fingers should fit as you hold them.
“Those are nice,” Taehyung says, looking over your shoulder.
“All my good mugs are still at my parents’ house,” you tell him.
“Let’s get two,” he suggests, reaching over your shoulder to pick up another blue mug, turning it over in his hand. “You pick one and I’ll pick one.”
“So we match?” you tease, already starting to look for one that stands out to you.
“You can think of me every time you use it.” He gives you a teasing wink so you’ll know he’s mostly kidding.
“It is pretty,” you say, putting back the one you’d been eyeing and reaching for another. “I like the blue. And I like the finger-grooves instead of a handle.”
“Come on,” Taehyung says decisively. “Pick one, let’s get them.”
The potter bags them separately for you so you don’t get yours mixed up with Taehyung’s, and you continue down the road. You’re heading in the direction of the band, the music growing louder as you approach. The indie trio seems to be taking a break, and jazzy instrumentals come through the speakers instead. Some older couples dance together in the space in front of the now-empty stage, hands locked.
“Come dance with me?” Taehyung asks quietly, setting down his little bag with the mug inside under a nearby bench, reaching for yours too.
“Doesn’t really look like a young people scene,” you observe, but you hand him your bag when he reaches for it.
“Do you care that much?” he asks, and there’s something challenging in the way he says it.
“I guess not,” you allow, and he grins, starting to swivel his hips to the trumpets, reaching a hand for you to join him. You can’t help but laugh - he’s so freaking silly, and he really gives no shits, and you kind of love that about him.
He spins you slowly, one hand on your waist, and you’re somehow surprised that he’s a good dancer. He leads you well, and you let yourself be in this moment as best you can: the taste of peppermint in your mouth, the lights around you glowing golden, your heart beating in time with the harmonies of the brass instruments, Taehyung’s body solid and warm against your as he holds you tight.
–
When the indie band returns, the jazz covers fading down to nothing, Taehyung leads you towards the little creek that winds through the park. This area isn’t technically part of the festival, and people aren’t really walking here. The Christmas lights and decorations don’t extend this far into the park either, but the path is lit by lanterns on posts along the side of the path. Taehyung leads you onto a small bridge and leans his elbows on the railing.
“I like this spot,” he tells you. “When I was starting to walk a little after my accident, I’d come here. It’s not too far from the parking lot and it felt… peaceful, I guess.”
You look at him, listening. The creek runs below you, the sound soothing.
He turns to face you, and you close the gap willingly, leaning up to meet his lips, knowing they’re coming.
There’s some ferocity to his kiss tonight; you don’t know if he’s just tired of holding back, if he’s keyed up from dancing together, or what, but something is different. He tangles a hand in your hair and tightens his fingers, his other hand pulling you flush against him by the small of your back. Your mouth opens on a tiny noise of satisfaction, and his tongue strokes yours immediately.
He tastes like caramel, he smells like a man, and your head spins as he presses your body against the bridge railing, fingers still lodged in your hair. You press yourself against him, wanting to feel as much of his body against yours as you can, winter coats be damned.
You want to be as close as possible, you want to feel every part of him, you want to - even if only for right this second - let him in in every way. You can’t put it into words, even in your head, so you try to put as much of it into your kiss as you can; you grip his jacket tight between your fingers and pull him against you, relish the feeling of him hardening against you, drown a little in the contented grunts he makes when you move your mouth down his jaw and towards his neck.
He releases your hair and grabs your ass with both hands, helping to increase the friction you’re both creating, and you release the skin of his neck long enough to let out a sigh, resting your forehead on his shoulder, sucking in air. He half-grunts, half-growls and nudges at your forehead, trying to get you to lift your chin so he can kiss you more.
“Taehyung,” you breathe, looking up to meet his eyes.
“What is it, baby?” he murmurs, hands still tight on the meat of your ass. “What do you need?”
You.
Somehow, this is true.
“Take me home?” you ask, hands still holding him in place by his jacket. “Not campus,” you clarify quickly, when his eyes widen a little.
He wraps his arms all the way around you and pulls you in tight, pressing his lips to your forehead quickly before letting you go.
“I’ll take you wherever you want to go,” he whispers. You let go of his jacket and reach for his hand. This time, you lead him through the park, aiming for the parking lot.
As you pass back through the festival on your way to the car, you notice the long line of families waiting to take pictures with Santa.
“I didn’t get to sit on Santa’s lap,” you pretend to pout.
“I’ll give you a lap to sit on,” he quips, and you laugh out loud, shocked at his audacity.
He laughs too, actually covering his mouth with his spare hand. “Sorry,” he says through his giggles. “That one should have stayed in my head.”
In the car, Taehyung drives with one hand on your thigh, his thumb tracing circles on the thick fabric of your tights. You don’t talk much, but you keep your eyes on him, steady, as his face comes in and out of view as you pass under streetlights and then continue into darkness again. Every now and then he glances back at you, and when he meets your eyes he gives you a tiny smile, almost like he thinks it's funny that you’re still looking.
At the house, the living room is empty, and after you hang your coats on hooks Taehyung leads the way upstairs, shutting and locking his door as usual.
You sit on his desk chair and unzip your tall boots, placing them carefully under his desk, out of the way so no one trips on them in the dark later. When you’re done, you look back up at him. He’s standing with his arms crossed, watching you carefully. He’s kicked off his own shoes; unlike yours, they lay in the middle of the room, discarded.
You rise, walking over to him gingerly, and he takes your face between his hands, kissing you sweetly. Too sweetly. You want to kiss like you did on the bridge. You take over, kissing him more aggressively, humming into his mouth when he takes your ass in his hands again. Right where you left off, you think.
He lowers his hands as you kiss him, skimming the sensitive underside of your ass, hands slipping beneath your dress. His fingers caress the backs of your thighs, just once, and then he’s moving them back up, searching for the hem of your tights. When he finds it, he crumples the material in a fist, pulling you against him again, and then gently slides his thumbs under the waistband. He peels your tights down your body tantalizingly slowly, his eyes locked on yours the whole time, giving you plenty of time to object if you want to.
You don’t.
You step out of your tights as they hit the floor, and Taehyung gathers up your skirt in one hand, caressing your bared ass with the other, pulling you in to kiss you again, breathing in so harshly as he does that it’s almost like he’s breathing you in. You silently thank Bridget for reminding you to wear something lacy tonight.
You reach up and start unbuttoning his shirt from the top down, tugging it off of his shoulders and running your hands up his toned arms and back down his chest. He exhales sharply, fingers tightening on your butt as you trace lines up and down his stomach, wanting to touch everything.
He reaches behind you to find the zipper on your dress, struggling a little with the hook and eye at the top. You feel the cold air hit your back as he drags the zipper down, and then he mimics your earlier motion, tugging the shoulders off of your arms.
He takes a second to look at you as your dress falls to your ankles and then he’s kissing you again, hands roaming as if he can’t decide what to touch first, what to touch longer, as if his hands miss one part of you the second they stray to visit somewhere else.
He unhooks your bra and you toss it sideways, then your hands go for his belt buckle. He kicks his head back and huffs out a breath, trying to maintain control as your hands deftly undo his belt and loosen it.
“God,” he groans, fingers twitching, as if not touching you for these two minutes is taking all of his self-control. You love him like this - like he’s barely keeping it together, like he’s seconds aware from losing it and tearing you apart.
Part of you hopes he does.
You unzip his pants carefully, then glance up at his face before pulling them over his hips. He watches you evenly, but his breathing is anything but even. You take in the sight of him as his slacks fall away and he uses his toes to push off the socks from each foot, leaving him only in boxer briefs. They hug him tightly, showing the curve of his fantastic ass, the swell of his trapped cock.
You let out a shaky breath as Taehyung pulls you close again, and then he pushes you backwards towards his bed. You land on your back and scoot up as he crawls over top of you, kissing you again. You clutch at his upper arms as he runs a hand from your hip up to your chest and back down again. Then his fingers brush the lace edge of your underwear, and you know he’s asking for permission.
“Go ahead,” you breathe, and he slides his fingers under the material, seeking what he wants.
“Oh, my god,” he groans, pressing his warm length against your leg desperately, as he circles his fingers in your wetness, not even having to press inside to find it. His hair swings a little with each movement he makes. “You ready for me, baby?”
You let out a breath like a laugh. “Apparently,” you tell him, smiling as you kiss him again. Then, he pushes in two fingers at once, sinking them into your heat until they can’t go any further. You gasp at the intrusion, but it turns into something guttural quickly because the feeling is divine. God, his fingers are long.
“Mm, Taehyung,” you murmur, shifting to give him more room as he begins to pump his fingers out and in again, thumb reaching for your clit. You take a shuddering breath, closing your eyes, enjoying the feeling, but it’s only a minute later that you’re reaching for him, trying to tug his briefs off.
He lifts up so you can slide them down his hips, kicking them off the end of the bed. He hisses and closes his eyes when you wrap a hand around him, tugging a few times, eyeing his girth.
“Do I need -?” he manages to ask, voice raw, eyes flickering to his nightstand.
A condom. “I have an IUD,” you tell him. “And I know I’m clean. You?”
“Definitely clean, I promise,” he tells you, reaching down to tug at your panties, the final article of clothing. Once he tosses them towards the end of the bed and comes to rest fully over top of you, he pauses to kiss you again, sweet and deep. His member slides along your slit and he can’t help but move a little, slicking himself up along one side. You groan, half tempted to shift your hips and just take him, no warning.
“Y/N,” he whispers, pausing his movement, looking at you carefully. “You’re sure, right?”
You want to kiss him again, just for asking. God, what did you do to deserve how sweet he is to you?
“Yeah,” you whisper back. “I’m really sure. I want you.”
He closes his eyes at these words, resting his forehead against yours for a second, and then he’s reaching down to position himself at your entrance, pushing forward slowly. He keeps his eyes on your face and you breathe slowly as you adjust to him. He pauses when he bottoms out, giving you a second.
You give your hips a few experimental circles, feeling the stretch. “Okay,” you whisper. “Move? Please?”
He kisses you quickly and acquiesces, starting a steady, quick pace. You both groan, drowning each other out, as he moves. He touches you as he keeps this pace, tweaking a nipple, kneading your ass, smoothing down your hair.
“God, you feel good,” he murmurs.
“You, too,” you assure him. He slows his pace, pulling out and entering with excruciating slowness; you can feel every single ridge positively drag along your walls. You try to take it, try to let him toy with you. But it’s so fucking much, the sensations building to the point of being overwhelming, you can’t possibly hold him tight enough, you can’t bear it.
“Go faster, please,” you beg, voice broken almost to the point of a sob.
“Jesus,” he gasps, and then does as you ask, beginning to snap his hips at a bruising speed. You can feel your pleasure building, your thighs shaking and then calming, then shaking again. Taehyung adjusts his angle, using both hands to lift your hips a little higher, pulling you against him with each thrust, and you keen out his name.
“Tae, there -!”
He smiles at you wickedly, brows furrowed with effort and concentration. He locks in the angle and ups his pace, eyes roving your body.
“Ah - Taehyung - I’m -,” you gasp, screwing your eyes shut.
“Close?” he asks, voice so low it makes your toes curl.
“Yes,” you breathe. “Tae…”
“Yes, baby,” he hisses, hips slapping lewdly against your own. You reach down to rub your clit, feeling the mounting pressure snap and crest, white blooming behind your eyes. You come with a whine, and he fucks you through it as you pulse and clench around him, shuddering beneath his hands.
“So pretty,” he tells you with a whisper as your muscles relax again, stilling his hips long enough to give you a quick kiss on the lips. Then he’s grabbing your ankles and pressing them together, lifting them to rest on his shoulder. He bends you practically in half, leaning his weight on his hands, pounding you into the mattress until your eyes roll back. You can’t even make words at this point, only whines and whimpers as you screw your eyes shut.
“God,” he growls. “Fuck! Y/N, can I -? Inside?”
“Please,” you cry, your heart still racing from your own climax, “yes, do it.”
His thrusts speed up but get sloppier, his earlier precision falling away as his hips jerk and stutter, his breathing ragged in your ear.
“F-fuck,” he gasps, pushing further into you, seeking more heat, hips slowing until they still. He breathes for just a second, and then rolls sideways, reaching over to grab a towel from the back of his desk chair. He hands it to you to let you clean up, waiting patiently for his turn. Then, he throws it in the general direction of his hamper and rolls to gather you in his arms, still breathing heavily.
“Hi,” you say, giggling a little. He smiles back, and you can feel how fast his heart is racing.
“Hi,” he says back, trying to steady his breathing. “You good?”
“Yeah,” you tell him, snuggling up against his side as he rolls to his back, the oxytocin flowing. “You?”
“Fucking fabulous,” he tells you with a laugh.
You both lay there quietly for a minute, cooling down. Then, he turns to look at you.
“Y/N,” he says, “I just want to make sure you know… if we’re doing this… it will be only you, for me. Okay? I’m not… just… it’s only you.”
This is the truth: in your heart, you don’t believe him. Maybe he means it right this second - in fact, you’re sure he does. But this is what you know about love and relationships: things change. Just because someone means it today doesn’t mean they’ll mean it in a week, or a month, or a year.
“I appreciate that,” you say. It is sweet of him to reassure you, especially considering what he knows about your past. You’re glad, too, that he kept it vague - doing this. What was this, talking? Fucking? Dating? Whatever the answer is, you feel better not putting a name to it. “I prefer one at a time, too. It’s just… less complicated that way.”
For you, it’s true. That’s the only thing you’re really sure of.
Next
*innocent whistles*
Thank you for being here! I appreciate every single like, reply, dm, ask, or reblog!
HUGEST thank you to Pauli for basically writing the entire date and for beta-ing!!!
133 notes
·
View notes