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dragonmuse · 11 months

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Keep It In The Box : An Essay on OFMD Season 2 and the Failure to Heal

(here in is my season two reaction. It contains many many spoilers. It's also about 3k words long so you know what you're getting into.)

“See, I have a system for dealing with all the terrible things I've seen. There's a box in my mind, and I put the things in the box..” -Frenchie, Season 2 of Our Flag Means Death

…..and then he never opens it. Chekov’s locked box has no key in season two.

On first watch, it seemed clear to me that Frenchie’s declaration was a narrative plant. Clearly the whole season would be about that box of pain and trauma being opened, sorted through and at least the beginning of healing. The show had developed a reputation after season one of being kind and focused on queer narratives of healing from childhood. Ed and Stede’s parallels in their childhood traumas were frequently on display through season one and were repeated in flashback throughout season two. Jim’s season one arc about becoming someone who doesn’t think just of revenge and can now forge meaningful connections was profound, beautiful and often funny. Izzy is an antagonist because he doesn’t want Ed to move on or stop acting like the trauma-response version of himself. The antagonist wants to stop healing. The point is to grow, to change, to learn how to love. It’s one of the things that made season one work for me at the time, despite reservations about pacing and tone.

So naturally season two should follow suit. It’s a kind show! About healing and falling in love!

For the first several episodes, the remaining crew on the Revenge go through a gauntlet of trauma, forced to do and receive violence at Ed’s whims as he careens from self-destructive behavior to self-destructive behavior. This is the wounding setup. It was dark, but it seemed like it would have a payoff and at first it did.

Perhaps one of the most beautiful moments of the season comes in one of the small respites in those early episodes as Jim recounts Pinnochio to Fang to soothe him through his grief. That was the show that I expected. The kindness of that moment struck me very deeply. It gave me some understanding of Archie too, who seems to fall for Jim right at that moment.

That scene is the show season one promised. Season two led with packing Frenchie’s box full to bursting. Here is the fight to the death between lovers, there is a first mate who is mutilated and rotting in the very walls (the rot of the Revenge itself), and there is the storm of Ed’s rage and pain that threatens to consume all of them.

So surely these remaining episodes would concentrate on finding the humor in healing from those moments. That is the setup. Frenchie has a box. The box must eventually open.

Except time and again, all the characters who suffered are told that the only way to deal with what they’ve been through is to stick it in the box and never open it again.

Pete tells Lucius that he’s unable to move on and needs to let it go. Izzy has a story about a shark. Ed’s apology to the crew which doesn’t even contain the words ‘I’m sorry’ is just…accepted. I kept waiting and waiting for a meaningful apology to the people Ed had hurt the worst with his actions, but it seems all we get is Fang saying ‘eh, no problem, I got to hit you back so I feel better’.

The playful theme of ‘pirates are just violent sometimes’ from season one becomes a grinding horror machine in season two when every atrocity visited on someone is forgiven because the narrative needs it to be. Ed and Stede spend more time making amends with each other over the bloodless night on the beach than either of them spend trying to repent for their actions towards anyone else.

And let’s talk about Ed. Arguably this season pivots on his narrative, on his path to healing and growth. A path that starts at a very low point. His moment in the gravy basket, deciding he wants to live because there are still things to live for is so great! So one might assume that what would follow would be him pursuing those things, making amends, making connections. He and Stede have a wonderful moment, talking about being whim prone and how they’ll work to avoid that, build a relationship by going slower.

Yet, at no point do either of them stop following whims. They never heal or learn from what’s happened to them. They both keep running from thing to thing, particularly Ed. It’s a whim to sleep with Stede, it’s a whim to run off to fish, and the finale gives us just more of their whims. Ed drops fishing as fast as he picked it up. He finds those leathers in the ocean, murdering the symbolism of leaving them behind. Even the inn is a whim, one of those things Ed decided he’d be good at without evidence. And Stede joins him in that without a single on screen conversation about it ahead of the moment.

Ed needs to heal himself and to do that he needs to confront what he’s done and do the work to heal the wound. Instead, he doesn’t meaningfully apologize to anyone, besides Stede and Fang. Despite Izzy’s dying words (we’ll get to that), not only do we never see the crew caring about Ed, working to make him family in the same way they do with Fang and even Izzy, he also doesn’t choose to stay with them. So what is the point? Where is the healing? Or does even Ed, beloved main character, have to live with it all stuffed in a box?

He ends the season in the leathers he threw away, in a relationship that’s barely stabilized, going to live in a house which we are told by the narrative (in that they are very very clearly paralleling Anne and Mary with Ed and Stede or why do we even get that whole Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? episode) will only end in them setting fire to each other to stay warm.

But Vee, I hear you cry, it’s a ROM-COM. This is all meant to be ha-ha funny and you are taking it so seriously!

Cool beans. Then why the hell isn’t it funny? Healing is often filled with comedy because people deal with pain with humor. You can heal and laugh at the same time. The finale especially is almost entirely devoid of laughs, almost entirely devoid of joy until the last minute for that matter. The episode that should show off with a flourish how far everyone’s come, mostly serves to show that no one has grown.

Okay that’s Ed. I want to talk about Lucius next. Our former audience surrogate (that’s taken away in season two when he doesn’t get enough screen time to perform that role and no one takes his place) really goes through the wringer. He experiences many many terrible things, including sexual assault (which is made into a grimace-laugh line that doesn’t take away from it’s seriousness because oh hey, that can be done as it turns out). He’s nervous, he’s smoking, it’s clear he’s suffering.

There’s a beautiful moment where Pete tells him ‘hey, I was also in pain. I grieved’ and that’s great. It’s good that Pete sets a boundary about Lucius not obsessing over the past to the point of occluding their future.

We even get our comedic moment where Lucius pushes Ed off the boat (still not apology, but I’d lost hope for that by then) and that doesn’t help enough. So Izzy comes in with a shark and the advice that you just have to move on.

Just…you know. Play pretend. Forget.

Shove it in a box. Ed didn’t take my leg, a shark did. Ed didn’t kill you, a shark did. Live with the person that tried to murder you because it’s your fault you dangled your leg over the side of a boat. That is the show’s message. I thought on first watch, that surely this would also come back up and be explained that you can’t live that way, that that is no way to heal. That it would become clear that this was no way through. You cannot make everything into sharks.

Lucius can move forward and still carry pain. He can still want a meaningful apology and still want to talk to his lover about what he’s dealing with while moving forward toward a brighter future.

And what of the flirtatious promise of relationships and connections being the way to heal? Look to Oluwande and Jim, whose heartfelt romance from season one was relegated to the bins of history in favor of a narrative that made him a brother Jim once had sex with. They could have had Archie AND Oluwande, who in turn could also have Zheng, but that never seems to be an option. With a single short conversation, they are broken up with, despite a brief tease at the birthday that they still ‘dance’ together, it never actually manifests. Jim and Archie never talk about what they went through. It’s swept under the rug as fast as knives are lowered.

Lucius also no longer flirts with other people, the solution to his pain is to propose and get married (but not too married, lest we forget that they’re two men, they don’t even get to be husbands or even the more respectful mates, no. They’re mateys.) This season proposes that the only happy endings are monogamous ones, where no one talks about anything painful that went before.

To ensure that message, beyond assuring the success of Oluwande and Zheng’s relationship, Jim and Archie almost entirely disappear from the narrative. Sorry you guys were given layers of trauma and no growth and not even much to do this season, we need to make sure that everyone remembers Oluwande is the break in Zheng’s day so when he says that to her five minutes later we know exactly what he’s referencing. No time for Archie to learn what an apology is or for Jim to get one line in with Oluwande that isn’t affirming their newfound broship. Must do more flashbacks to things we just did two episodes ago!

The show even dangles the conversation of the Revenge being a safe space. Why would any of them ever feel safe when the man who tortured them is allowed to walk among them and they are expected to forgive and forget? What’s safe about that? The ship is never made safe for any of them, but that’s never addressed.

And Zheng! Amazing, hysterically funny Zheng! She loses her ships, her entire way of life, the kingdom she built for herself and then…she doesn’t even get to captain the Revenge. We don’t know what becomes of her fleet, of her plans, her ambitions. Don’t worry about it, she has a romantic partner and isn’t that what every lady wants in the end?

(But Vee, I hear you cry again, there will be a season three! Maybe it will be All About Zheng! To which I say: then why did they present us with the most series finale feeling episode ever? If there’s more, I have no idea where it’s going. BUT VEE: BUTTONS AS SEAGULL ON THE GR- Fine. It’s time.)

Let’s talk about Izzy Hands.

Izzy manages more healing than anyone else this season. He reaches his lowest point, suicidal in the bowels of a ship that’s become a prison (very much in contrast to Ed’s suicidal low). The person he loves most in the world has shredded him physically and emotionally (and if you’re in the camp that thinks Izzy deserves the abuse that Ed gave to him, I would really like you to sit quietly with yourself and ask why you think there is ever anything anyone can do to deserve that treatment). He’s low, he shoots Ed to protect everyone, and then seems to plan to drink himself to death, mourning his losses.

And then another beautiful moment! The crew move past their own pain to help him. They work together for the first time and it’s to give Izzy mobility back. He treasures it. He cries over it. He uses that kindness extended to him to reach a new understanding of Stede and help him succeed, doing the work to make real amends. He sings in drag, he’s vulnerable and beautiful, celebrating the side of himself that he must’ve loathed in the first season. He’s an elder queer man, coming into himself.

He never gets an apology though. (‘Sorry about your leg’ without eye contact is not an apology. There is no responsibility taking, no acknowledgement of the weeks of torture that came with it.) Izzy also never really has an honest conversation with anyone about what it means that the man he loves punished him so severely for the crime of trying to protect the crew (yes, lest we forget, Izzy lost his leg because he was trying to keep Ed from re-traumatizing the crew and himself).

Izzy does all this work, but even he’s not allowed to take it out of the box. It’s a shark, not Ed. Ed is just ‘complicated’ (the language of abuse here is so upsetting and I think not even intentional).

And then he dies. His last act? To apologize to the man who tortured him and shot at him. To have done all this work, to take on all the blame. And then die.

In a rom com.

This show ends in a profoundly unfunny moment of telling the audience: this is the one character that did the work, that made amends, that tried his hardest to accept the parts of himself that he had a hard time embracing and formerly embittered him. He’s fully accepted his queerness and turned it into beautiful music. He’s disabled, and he worked hard to accept that. The man he loves will never love him back, so he worked hard to make Stede able to meet Ed on an even playing field. The Giving Tree gave up its limbs and its trunk, and it’s not even allowed to be a stump to sit on.

Kill the queer elder, who has managed to figure out how to live and in his own way how to heal. Kill him before he manages to teach anyone else how to meaningfully move forward (he almost gets it with Lucius, almost, but it’s meant to be rule of three, you know. Cigarette..shark…and then…and then fuck it, Lucius doesn’t even get to say a word at his funeral).

The message of this season again and again is that there is no healing, just moving forward. Like a shark. Like a bird that never lands.

That is not a kind show.

Season two is not a kind season.

It splinters people up and jams them back together without purpose or reason. It tells everyone who experiences pain that they should shove it in a box and not deal with it. No one who really needs one gets an apology of any sincerity. No one puts in the work to gain forgiveness. (Ed wearing a onesie is not The Work. Ed fixing a door is not The Work. Ed broke people that the show wants us to care about. Ed never does the work of making those amends. He fires off a Notes app apology at best. After all, it’s what he told himself via Hornigold in the gravy basket: you move on or you blow your brains out! Good thing he took his own advice and therefore had to change nothing to get his just rewards.

I would’ve taken just fifteen minutes of Ed trying to actually make amends. It could’ve been hilarious! Imagine awkward Ed trying to dance around what he’s doing with Jim and the two of them having a knife throwing competition about it. Or him and Frenchie attempting to make music together, writing a song about the raids they went on! It’s not just the crew robbed of their healing because of this, it’s Ed himself. He never meaningfully changes or makes amends. How is he any different at the end of the finale then he is standing on the edge of that cliff with Hornigold? He hasn’t moved on, he hasn’t healed. He tried one thing (fishing) that doesn’t fucking work and then he runs right back.

No one leaves this season better than they went into it. They’ve lost an elder queer, they’ve lost their joyous and queer polyamory, they’ve lost a chance for meaningful reconciliation with Ed and Ed lost any chance of looking like he gave shit if they did. Stede grows enough to accept the crew’s beliefs as important and then leaves them behind without a care.

Izzy gets a beautiful speech about piracy being larger than yourself. Ed and Stede, within twenty minutes of that speech, leave piracy. They are incapable of giving themselves to something bigger, apparently. They haven’t learned to be a part of a community. They haven’t healed from their childhood trauma or their fresher wounds. They are still just following their own whims.

Zheng’s life work is in tatters, but it’s fine, she has love. Oluwande and Jim aren’t together, but it's fine because they both have dedicated monogamous partners. Lucius was deeply scarred by what happened, never recovers much of his first season personality, but hey he got-well it’s not married exactly- but you know good enough!

Frenchie, who has a box forever locked in his head, is captain. Because the key to success is to lock it all in a box and never open it. What a message. What a show. Conceal, don’t feel. Smile because it’s a happy ending. Don’t mourn the dead, don’t try to tell people what happened to you (they will literally run away or cry too hard to listen and really you’re just bumming them out), and any meaningful change you make is only rewarded with death.

Frenchie is now a pirate captain with a box in his head full of trauma that’s never been opened, leading a crew with more wounds than scars. Wonder how that could turn out? Wonder how many years before he might want to retire and then happen to run across a gentleman pirate. As if no one learned anything at all.

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #the strangest message sent #and no idea if it was on purpose #I kind of think it wasn't somehow #but boy howedy did it come across

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medlilove · 3 months

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(Edited to add headshots because tumblr hates detail) I've etched away at this is a lovely few weeks, so click for full res and all the little details, okay? It's my love letter to the journey I've found myself on

This is long-ish, so its under the cut (but worth reading...)

I had been thinking a lot recently about that double feature episode, you know the one? I half remembered it then, when they chased a bunch of alien spies so fast through the solar system they all got thrown back in time. Half the crew went on a little undercover adventure in Toronto in 2024. It was great because they got completely cut off from the Enterprise, so half of them, well mostly Uhura and Spock if I recall correctly, spent their time collecting as many radios as possible and worked on building their own communications. Uhura and Spock were basically taking turns constantly tweaking radios by the window with wires everywhere. Oh yeah, their base of operations was the whole top floor of a worn out old building looking over a big square. They ended up in the really arty/queer part of town full of art galleries and thrift stores.....??

Chapel and Chekov were sent out to those shops to find disguises for everyone. I loved the joke that Chekov was puzzled and slightly alarmed that Christine just knew everyone's clothes sizes and measurements with no explanation. Later on, they ended up getting separated from the rest of the group and getting held up by B story shenanigans, mostly getting lost and running into culture shocks. It was fun to see them having their own adventures and made for a pretty interesting combo. Spock and Uhura spent most of their time with the tech, accidentally listening to the times most popular music while changing frequencies. Jim and Sulu paired off to search for clues, and getting supplies and spent a lot of time talking to the locals setting up for a Pride parade. McCoy, feeling paranoid and irritable that he had practically no equipment, wandered around with Dr Alfred Nahdi, the Botanist, who kept picking random weeds and talking about how extraordinary the little dandelions were. Oh and together they stole a whole medical bag out of an ambulance?? It was pretty funny. Anyway, the main issue was they couldn’t risk leaving the area because all these alien spies had assimilated into the population and they had to track them all down and bring them back with them so as not to disrupt the timeline or something. They had to track down the aliens while making sure the aliens didn't pick up on who they were or that they were also out of place. They ended up being there for around two whole ass months, I think. The spies were spread out all over and there were about 30 of them, but it ended up being the Botanist, Alfred (Alfie) Nahdi who found the enemy base of operations by complete accident. Alfred, who had spent most of the time studying all the common flowers and weeds that were so ordinary at that time but were extinct in their time, figured out where the aliens' base of operations was because the big plant shop at the end of the square had a few succulents that could not have existed in 2024. It was a big "woah" moment. And there was this whole thing where he had to act like he hadn’t just figured it out because the florist, who was almost certainly a spy, was watching him and McCoy. But soon after, it all went to hell anyway when a fight broke out and Sulu was straight up shot with the aliens' weapon that had bullets made from alien metal. So then Bones had to perform old school surgery on him in their HQ, with only 2024 equipment. Jim, Spock, and Uhura were out fighting and ran into Chapel and Chekov and were able to finish them off, but it got really crazy because there was a Pride parade in the square at the same time so they had to make sure no one noticed them. While Bones was pulling bullets out of Sulu, with the botanist assisting him until Chapel (who had been sent by Jim) appeared and took over. McCoy said something like, “Christine, I’ve never been so glad to see you in my life,” and they sewed him up all old school. And it worked out! But Bones was a mess because he had to do messy surgery with none of his kit, and so much pressure, and more blood than he was used to... Chapel stayed with Sulu, and Bones and Nahdi went to sit on the fire escape stairwell and had a sweet scene of Bones just full of adrenaline, his hands couldn't stop shaking. They sat hand in hand for a while listening to all the people on the streets below. Then Spock, Jim, Uhura, and Chekov appeared at the stairwell and they all had a happy, albeit exhausted reunion. After a day of everyone recovering from all the excitement, Uhura and Spock used some extra tech they got from the aliens and finally made contact with poor Scotty who was up on the Enterprise losing the will to live. Anyway, their outfits were iconic tbh.

I invented this whole thing to draw Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy in a sweater. I lost control of the situation. I spent a lovely two weeks etching away at this with the support of my lovely ST server, I love you guys. This ones for you.

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onwhatcaptain · 1 year

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To Star Trek TOS fans that say "TOS was so bad, but I love it."

One thing I noticed is that Star Trek TOS fans really will throw their own show under the bus out of pure self-consciousness. Star Trek TOS fans hate themselves a bit and will immediately make it known so others won't attack them for liking it, as if pre-emptively admitting TOS was bad will protect them from any criticism of it. They'll be like "yeah I know it's garbage YEAH everything sucks the plots the costumes the effects the acting blah blah BUT I LOVE IT!"

I mean, not really. Actually, I don't think it's bad. I think plenty of it is fantastic and has some misses and moments that warrant criticism... like everything does.

But frankly, it's no worse than shows they make today. I mean, Riverdale exists. Even Star Trek today can be garbage, like the SNW episode where they said Spock's bowl cut and every single Vulcan behavior is genetic.

You're allowed to like TOS, people. It's really not that bad and tbh the insistence that it was just awful totally contributes to the popular culture image of the whole womanizing rash captain in space concept. Star Trek TOS was great. The costumes and the effects and yes, the acting. Star Trek would not have survived without every single aspect you insist is really bad. I have no idea why we insist on being embarrassed. The effects and costumes were actually fantastic given what they were working with. Let's not be so quick to admit that TOS was shit but we love it. We love the fun, the characters like our lovely and amazing Uhura, Chekov, Scotty, the plots, we love the intense chemistry between the leads and if you're in the same circles as me then, especially K/S, and there's a lot to love—and plenty that was good.

It was good and we love it.

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affixjoy · 9 months

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I did it folks, I watched the one with the whales!

What a delightful movie, I had so much fun watching it. I don’t think it’s as high quality as Wrath of Khan, but its still so well done. There’s so much humor and hijinks! And WHALES!

Some things I loved:

💫 Spock trying to swear to fit in. Hilarious, and they used it the exact perfect amount. Any more would have been too much.

💫 Bones in the hospital. Perfectly grumpy, perfectly smart.

💫 Scotty was just great the whole movie. He’s always fun, but I like that he had a little more to do and got to be so funny. I bet it was a blast to film.

💫 The entire scene where Chekov is asking for the nuclear vessels had my husband and I dying of laugher. Possibly the hardest I’ve ever laughed at TOS stuff.

💫 Old married Spirk touring San Francisco together and visiting the whales. It wasn’t quitttttte the amount of love and heartbreak I wanted, but we did get some of it with Spock not calling him Jim.

💫 And of course, gotta include some Spones/McSpirk feelings! Bones translating Jim to Spock felt very THEM and very funny.

💫 I love that we got a sweet father/son moment with Sarek and Spock. After everything, it’s just so nice that Sarek could finally be proud of Spock. I wish Amanda had been there to see it, I’m always fascinated by her and her relationship with her family.

💫 I just love this crew, and I continue to be so pleased to see them all together having adventures and growing older. The more I watch the more I realize how rare and precious it is that we get to see them age. We get to watch them get older and dealing with it, growing in their careers and friendships. We get to watch how their bodies naturally change. And like, maybe that’s a weird thing to fixate on, but for the last few years I’ve been thinking a lot about how everyone on tv has to be young and beautiful. Even as they get older, they try to look as young as possible. But I feel like here I’m getting to see their wrinkles and their gray hair and their weight gain. They look like people instead of an idealized version of people. And I’m not saying they AREN’T beautiful, just that they look real and interesting and like they’ve lived. I’m sure smarter people than I have written articles and books about this. It’s just so nice to see and makes me happy!

Overall, extremely fun movie. Seems like it will be a great rewatch. If I have to rank them so far it goes:

Wrath of Khan

Voyage Home

Search For Spock (very close to Voyage home but not quite as good!)

And way down at the bottom is TMP.

#star trek tos #spirk #star trek #james t kirk #spock #leonard mccoy #star trek 4 #star trek iv: the voyage home #the voyage home #mckirk #spones #pavel chekov #nyota uhura #montgomery scott #hikaru sulu

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toboldlygohome · 8 months

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Oblivious

Leonard McCoy x Reader

Summary: You are oblivious to all of Leonard's attempts to flirt and all of your friends think it's hilarious.

Character(s): Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James "Jim" Kirk, Spock, Nyota Uhura, Pavel Chekov, Hikaru Sulu

Warning(s): Slightly cringe attempts at flirting, Painfully oblivious reader, Stephen King references

Leonard was finally ready to move on. The divorce had left him with wounds he wasn't sure he could heal from. He hadn't been interested in dating for years afterward. But for the first time since then, someone had caught his attention.

You were the new head of Archaeology aboard the enterprise. You had been transferred from the USS Celine to assist in the 5 year mission. To say you were new wouldn't be exactly correct, you had been on board for about 6 months already. You had taken to the position well and were already good friends with everyone in your unit, as well as all of the bridge and command personnel.

Leonard knew he liked you the moment you met. You had a firm handshake, a killer smile, and when Captain Kirk asked if you were single, you told him it wasn't his business. Jim's stunned face when you shook his hand and walked away was priceless.

Of course there were far more reasons to admire you other than your ability to take the captain down a peg. You were incredible at your job, finding ancient ruins in the most unlikely of places. You were like a dog when it came to fossils, sniffing them out almost as soon as you landed on alien soil. You were smart and always ready to answer questions. You were also highly tolerant of people's mistakes, something that was slowly rubbing off on him. When you were around, Leonard found he had more patience for stupidity and everyone else noticed as well.

You were kind, you were a great listener, you were hilarious, you were dependable, considerate, honest, cheerful, and you could always be counted upon for some witty banter. Not to mention you were the most beautiful person Bones had ever seen in his life.

That's not to say you didn't have your downfalls too, everyone does after all. You were self deprecating, a little easily distracted, and of course you were the most painfully oblivious person in the universe.

~~~

It all started one morning at breakfast. You were sitting in the cafeteria with Jim, Nyota, and Spock.

Leonard had made his decision the previous night while drinking with Jim. Bones wanted to pursue a relationship with you, but he wasn't going to just tell you point blank. He wanted to gauge your interest before taking that leap of faith.

"Mornin'" Leonard said as he sat down beside you. "Jim, you look terrible."

Jim, who was still hung over from the night before, frowned at the doctor. "Gee, thanks. I had no idea."

"You're welcome. Now Y/N on the other hand, you look great this morning," Bones smirked. Jim and Nyota immediately perked up, clearly not expecting him to be so forward (especially not this early in the morning.)

"Thanks Doc," You smiled at him and returned your attention to your oatmeal.

"What's your secret?" Asked Bones upon deciding that your smile was a good sign.

"My secret?" You raised an eyebrow.

"To looking so good every morning," he clarified. Nyota and Jim looked at each other incredulously.

"Ummmm," You thought out loud. "Get good sleep, take your vitamins, and don't get wasted at two in the morning." You patted Jim's shoulder and stood up with your empty bowl. "I better get to the lab, see you guys later!" You grinned.

Everyone bid you a good morning before gawking at Leonard, amusement etched on their faces. "What's your secret? Did you seriously ask 'what's your secret?'"Jim cackled.

"Leonard, you seriously need to up your flirting game." Uhura barely stifled a giggle.

"I know it's been awhile doc but seriously, that was terrible! And I've heard Spock's attempts at flirting," Kirk snickered.

"It wasn't that bad, y'all are acting like I'm some cretin who stole their oatmeal and called it flirting. I called them attractive, get off my back." Leonard rolled his eyes.

"No, you said they looked good. That could be interpreted in, so many ways. As far as flirting goes, that was pretty pathetic." Nyota said.

"I would have to agree doctor, perhaps you could take instruction from the captain or even-" Spock started.

"Shut up and eat your breakfast," Leonard snapped, causing another fit of giggles around him.

Bones sat there, glaring into his eggs, trying to figure out where he went wrong. The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed that Uhura was right. You didn't realize he meant it in a romantic way. Maybe he was more out of practice than he thought. He was just going to have to give it another shot. Practice makes perfect after all.

~~~

The next day, Leonard tried a different approach. Coffee mug in hand, he made his way to your office only to find it empty. He looked all over the labs, nowhere to be seen. It wasn't until made it up to the bridge that he found you deep in a discussion about landing sites for an upcoming mission.

Your head perked up when you saw the doctor come in from the turbolift. "Ahoy, McCoy! We missed you at breakfast this morning." you smiled as he came to stand beside you.

"Sorry darlin', had some gamma shift engineers to patch up." Bones casually passed the mug over to you. "Made you some coffee."

"Really? for me?" You peered into the cup and beamed, "thank you doctor, it's just how I like it!" Jim gave Leonard a subtle thumbs up while you sipped your drink.

Leonard had a good feeling this time. You were happy with the gesture and even Kirk seemed impressed. It felt like a good first step, until-

"First Chekov brings me a croissant, then McCoy brings me a coffee. I'm so lucky to have such great friends. Thank you guys!" You smiled at the two men.

"You are very welcome!" Pavel grinned.

Leonard's mood plummeted almost instantly. While he was glad you got to enjoy a croissant and a coffee, Chekov's untimely generosity made his romantic gesture seem more like a friendly one. He was going to have to go back to the drawing board.

You turned to the captain, cradling your warm cup in your hand. "Is there anything else you need of me Captain?"

"No Commander, I believe you've answered all my questions," Jim said.

"Wonderful! If anyone needs me, I'll be in the lab trying to decode some ancient texts," you took another sip of your coffee before strolling back to the turbolift.

Once you were out of sight, Jim patted Leonard on the arm. Sulu and Chekov were trying their damnedest not to laugh, and failing miserably of course.

Leonard furrowed his brows at the two of them before looking back at Jim's cheeky grin.

"You told them?" Leonard scowled.

"Told them what?" Jim laughed.

"About..." Leonard rolled his eyes and gestured to the turbolift.

"The only ones I told were Uhura and Spock," Jim assured.

"He didn't need to tell us anything, It's written all over your face Dr. McCoy," Sulu said.

"Yes, you get all red in the cheeks and you have this look in your eyes like you've seen the sun for the first time. It is very obvious you are vying for the Commander's attention," Chekov agreed.

"If I'm so obvious, why isn't Y/N picking up on it?" Leonard crossed his arms.

"Maybe you need a new approach, try... I don't know, making up new excuses to spend time with them. Or maybe you could try touching them," Jim suggested.

"Touching them?"

"Yeah, nothing inappropriate or anything. Just little things, like pats on the back, nudging their shoulder. Stuff like that. Might show Y/N you're interested without having to use the words, you know?"

"I don't know Jim..."

"Look, you're a doctor right?"

"I hope that'd be pretty goddamned obvious by now," Leonard glowered and put his hands on his hips.

"And as a doctor, you have a pretty good gauge on if someone's uncomfortable right?" Jim asked, "just try it and if you get the sense they're uncomfortable, just stop doing it. Easy as that."

"Why do I get the feeling it's not going to be as 'easy as that?'" The doctor shook his head.

"Because you are an incorrigible pessimist, Bones." Jim patted his shoulder.

"I'm done here, some of us actually have work to do," Leonard grumbled and trudged to the turbolift.

"All work and no play makes McCoy a dull boy," Kirk beamed.

"Quote Stephen King to me one more time. See what happens." Bones said as the doors closed. Alone in the elevator, he allowed himself to think about where to go from here. Perhaps Jim's ideas weren't so terrible. He rather liked the idea of spending more time with you. He usually talked with you during mealtimes and meetings, but not much outside of that. The touching is what was making him nervous.

He came into contact with people all the time, being a doctor was a very hands-on profession. He just didn't have Jim's level of confidence anymore. It felt ridiculous, he could stitch a man's thumb back to his hand and deliver an infant in the middle of a battle, but he couldn't touch your shoulder? Maybe he'd just skip that step for now. Quality time, that seemed like as good of a direction as any.

~~~

He continued bringing you coffee every day, It gave him more time to get to know you and Leonard was falling harder by the minute. He hadn't really looked forward to anything in a long time, but he looked forward to your coffee talks. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough anymore. The chats weren't long enough and you still weren't catching on to his feelings.

It had been a particularly stressful day, it felt like everyone needed something from him and he was in desperate need of a break. The moment things got quiet in the medbay, Leonard snuck away and his feet carried him to the archaeology labs.

It was quiet inside. A few ensigns were at work in their stations, putting together fossilized bones and carbon-dating old tools. Leonard found you in the back of the lab where you were busy decoding some old scrolls. Learning to understand a lost language was no easy task; Leonard couldn't fathom the amount of reading it would take to accomplish such a thing. Still, you seemed ready to take on anything the Captain dished out.

"Commander, I see you're hard at work," Bones smiled and came to stand beside you.

"I see you're not!" You joked and looked up at him from your seat. "What brings you to my neck of the woods doctor? Did I forget about an appointment?"

"Not at all, I was just taking a break and wanted to see how you were doing," he said, hoping you would understand what he was trying to say: that he was thinking of you and wanted to see you out of everyone else on the Enterprise.

"Well I'm really glad you're here Len, because I've just made a breakthrough!" You beamed. "Take a look at this," you motioned for him to look closer.

Leonard leaned in to look at your scroll. "So, you know how I found these papers in a box under the Mofeli excavation right?"

"Mhm, you insisted there must be a basement and you found one," Bones hummed.

"I originally thought the site was a business, that these papers must be some sort of documentation. You know, like land deeds, proof of insurance, perhaps even money. Basically stuff you would usually keep in a lock box, but these aren't ledgers or inventory slips or anything like that at all."

"What are they?" He turned to look at you.

You met his gaze and gave him a grin that could melt the ice caps and outshine Sirius. "They're love letters," you said and his heart hammered his chest painfully. He was only just now realizing how close he was to you. How his hand was resting on your back, how his face was mere inches from yours.

"See, if you look here you'll find this symbol all over the place in these letters. It's the symbol meaning love or lover. I've completed the translation on this one right here." You returned your attention to the paper. Leonard swallowed and glanced at the sheet, trying his damnedest not to stare like some creep.

"What, um... what does it say?" He cleared his throat.

"It says, and I'm paraphrasing here, 'My dearest love, I find words elude me. My heart blossoms for you under the light of the sun and keeps me warm when the light fades. I find not the courage to speak, but many a whim to write. I desire your embrace. I seek your song. I crave your hand. I covet your blazing eyes. One day I-' This part is all faded so I can't make it out, but the last thing it says here at the bottom is 'May our hearts and bodies be intertwined for eternity, and our souls may sing together as one.' Then there's what I assume to be a name at the bottom, but I'm not sure how to pronounce it."

"It all sounds a little sappy to me," Leonard joked in a slightly strained voice. This whole thing with the closeness and the touching and the letter was really affecting him. If you noticed his struggle, you gave no indication, In fact, you seemed perfectly at ease being this close to him.

"Hey, a little sap never hurt anybody," you elbowed him lightly in the side.

"Croakus sap can."

"Touché"

Leonard chucked softly and lightly patted your back before crossing his arms casually over his chest Your easy conversation was already helping him relax again. "so, Commander, you've been down here in your lab for an awfully long time. What do you say we go for a walk to the observation lounge?"

"Sorry doctor, I would but somebody's got to make sure the ensigns don't blow the place up. That, and Spock wants me to finish three more translations by the end of my shift," you explained.

"Of course he does," Leonard huffed.

"But I'm free this evening if that works for you?" You tilted your head.

"Of course, absolutely." Leonard had no idea if that was going to work for him, but he was going to make it work.

"Great, I'll see you then," you said with a surprising amount of enthusiasm.

"See you then. Don't work too hard," he smiled and left you to your translating.

Bones was pleased with himself. He had managed to follow Jim's suggestions and they appeared to work. He'd even managed to secure a date with you later that evening...Well...he hadn't actually called it a date when he suggested it. No matter, Leonard would just clarify all that the next time he saw you!

~~~

He never got to make the distinction that your walk was intended to be a date. You had brought a friend with you. Leonard could feel the fear in your ensign companion's eyes. Bones was sure everyone on the goddamned ship knew what he was trying to do but you. It was still a nice night despite the unwanted guest. He learned a lot about where you grew up, your interests, and your favorite films and music. He learned your favorite flower was the iris, your first job was a librarian, he even learned you were in a band during your time at the academy.

The more he learned, the more he liked you. He wasn't even sure if liked was the right word anymore. You had quite a few things in common. Your favorite foods, you liked the same movies, and you enjoyed the same music. You asked him questions that got him really thinking. They were the sort of topics you don't realize you have an opinion on until you start talking about them. But what surprised him most of all was when you asked about his daughter. What sort of interests does she have? How is she doing in school? I wonder if she would like X,Y, and Z. He was always hesitant to talk about Joanna or his ex, but it felt easier with you. Like that wound he had been carrying for so long was finally closing.

Your friendship progressed beautifully, but he felt like you were growing more and more blind to his advances. He had seen you turn plenty of people down before. If you weren't interested in someone, you made it abundantly clear. But you had yet to do the same with Bones. It wasn't just him: Jim, Nyota, Pavel, Scotty, Hikaru, and pretty much everyone else who knew you were puzzled as well. Even Spock couldn't understand how you were so incognizant. It was funny for them at first. They would laugh at every compliment you didn't register, every smile you didn't realize had meaning, every coffee, every walk to the deck, every deep conversation, every breath of relief when you come back from a mission. He was even so bold as to tell you in no uncertain terms that he'd do anything to make you smile.

The laughter turned into looks of pity. Leonard was about ready to give up. Maybe you weren't interested and you just wanted to let him down easy, you were good friends after all. Bones sat at the bar as Jim poured him another glass. Normally he was the one playing bartender, but Jim insisted he take over.

"I gotta say Bones, I really hate seeing you like this." Jim poured himself a drink too. "How did lunch go?"

"I told them they have beautiful eyes." Leonard sighed and shook his head.

"And?" The Captain probed.

"They said 'if only they worked as well as they look,'" Bones groaned.

"Ah..." Jim stared into his drink. He tried to put himself into Leonard's shoes. What would he do if he were in this situation?

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong..." McCoy muttered.

"You aren't doing anything wrong, Y/N just-" Jim started.

"It's something I'm doing, it has to be. Maybe this is a mistake."

"No, Bones it's not a mistake. That couldn't be farther from the truth."

"And how would you know? It's not like you have any problems finding dates," Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Seems like Y/N's not the only one who's oblivious," Kirk chuckled.

"I'm not in the mood for jokes Jim." Leonard took a sip of his whiskey and ran a hand over his face.

"Believe me Bones, I wish it were a joke. There's just no way the two most unaware people are head over heels for each other. I'm waiting for the punch line" James smirked.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bones scowled.

"Look, just... we have shore leave coming up in a few weeks. Ask them on a date. Like really ask them. Be frank, be clear, make sure there is no way Y/N can misunderstand you. Trust me," Jim squeezed Leonard's shoulder.

"Fine. But if this goes south, you owe me as many drinks as it takes to forget this whole debacle." The doctor downed the last of his glass.

"Bones if this goes south, I'll eat my hat."

"You don't have a hat."

"Point still stands. It'll work, you just have to have a little faith. And lucky for you, I have enough faith for the both of us." Jim winked.

Leonard wished he had Jim's enthusiasm. Officious little prick, he thought to himself...Dammit, now I'm quoting Stephen King.

~~~

Shore leave was just around the corner and Leonard was no closer to his goal of asking you on a date. Everyone was running around, trying to prepare the ship for inspection, he still had his normal duties to attend to, neither of you had time for coffee all week, Spock was being especially nitpicky about protocol, and he was anxious about what you'd say when he eventually got around to asking the million dollar question.

Yeah, Leonard was about ready to lose his marbles.

He was prepping the supply storage units, when Spock strolled in for the tenth time that day.

"Dr. McCoy," Spock greeted, startling Bones to the point that he nearly dropped his box of gauze.

"My god man, what the hell do you need this time?" Leonard implored, "don't you have anything better to do with your day than pester me?"

"Indeed I do, doctor" Spock replied.

Leonard huffed and sat down his box, "then what is it, did you miss my face or something?"

"I saw your face only moments ago, I have no need to miss-"

"It was a joke Spock, what do you want?" Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I came to inform you that I saw Commander Y/L/N coming in this direction." Spock stated.

Leonard raised an eyebrow, "and?"

"It is my understanding you are anxious to speak with them regarding your-" Spock started.

"Your understanding is correct, I just..." Leonard sighed and shook his head.

"Would it help if I told you the odds that they will say yes?" Spock asked.

"Never tell me the odds Spock," Leonard grumbled.

"Then I will simply say, good luck." Spock turned and left again, leaving Bones to decide if he was ready for this. He didn't have time for a decision, because there you were in the doorway with two mugs in your hands.

"Hey, stranger," You laughed. "Looks like I got here just in time, you look like you need some." You handed over the cup and Leonard took it gratefully.

"Thanks," Leonard offered you a smile and took a sip from his mug. It was just how he liked it, right down to the temperature. Together, they retreated to the safety of his office. Once inside, they fell into their usual conversation. He waited until things got quiet, then he decided to go for it.

"So, got any plans for shore leave?" Leonard asked, leaning back in his chair in an effort to appear more at ease.

"No, not really. Maybe I'll visit with a couple friends, catch up on sleep. How about you? got any exciting plans?" You leaned in, resting your chin on your hand.

"Not yet," he admitted. "But I'm hoping to make some."

"Oh? You got someone special in mind?" You hummed.

"Someone incredibly special, yeah." Leonard smiled. So far, so good.

"Oh, well I hope it goes well." You shifted awkwardly in your seat.

"Me too..." Leonard agreed. You both didn't speak for a moment, the distant hum of the warp core did little to tame the silence.

"Hey Y/N... I was thinking maybe we could go to that restaurant you like, you know the one with the really good Chicken Parmesan you're always talking about." He mused, "what do you think?"

"I, um... I think they'd like it" The smile you gave him looked...sad?

"What are you talking about? Who'd like it?" Leonard couldn't possibly be more confused.

"Your special someone?" It was your turn to look confused.

You've got to be kidding me

"I'm talking about you darlin', do you want to go to that restaurant with me, just us, nobody else. You and me. Together." Leonard clarified, meeting your gaze.

You looked positively flabbergasted. He couldn't possibly mean what he was saying, right? There was no way Leonard wanted to... I mean, he was way too good for you! You had been trying for months to get his attention, to no avail. This must be a dream. You're going to wake up any minute.

"Darlin'?"

"I, uh...what?" You blinked out of your daze.

"Dammit Y/N, I'm trying to ask you out on a date!" Bones ran a hand through his hair, exasperation evident in his tone.

"Really? Me?" You asked hopefully.

"Yes!" He replied "Look, it's okay if you don't w-" You suddenly burst into laughter and all the words died on his lips. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! It's just-" You giggled, "I actually came here to do the same thing..." You said sheepishly as you dug into your pocket "I, um... I got us tickets to see your favorite band. Figured if you said no, you could just take Jim instead." You handed the tickets over to him.

Leonard stared at the tickets in his hand, shock written all over his face. "Sweetheart, are you telling me we've both been dancing around each other for months, when we could have been doing stuff like this the whole time?"

"Seems that way, yes."

Leonard smiled and shook his head. "We're not very good at this, are we?"

"Not at all," You laughed. "Ahoy McCoy? What was I thinking?"

"Points for creativity darlin'," Bones chuckled. He almost couldn't believe things had turned out so perfectly. But in his experience, coincidence didn't exist. "Jim knew, didn't he?"

"He was actually the one who pushed me to come here," you admitted.

"Same. The bastard told me you'd say yes... Guess this was one of the few times I should have trusted him." Leonard concurred.

"So... What now, doctor?" You leaned a little closer. How had he never noticed your eyes before. He knew they were beautiful of course, but the way they were looking at him now made him weak in the knees. Had you always looked at him like that?

"Well, for now we're going to finish up our shifts, wouldn't want anyone to think we're slackers. But later, we're going to meet at the recreation room for a drink, possibly a game of darts. Then we'll see where the night takes us," McCoy smirked.

"How romantic, I can hardly wait for you to sweep me off my feet, they're killing me from all this running around, you know?~" You mused, resting your chin on your palm.

"Now you listen here darlin'. I'm a doctor, not a broom." Bones couldn't hide his amusement when you rolled your eyes at him.

"Well, what if I sweep you off your feet then?"

"You'll have to be careful, you might drop me and we could end up tangled in a whole mess of limbs."

"Oh, I'm counting on it.~" You teased.

Leonard swallowed hard and hid his bashfulness with a sip of his coffee, "Well in that case, sweep away."

You laughed again and McCoy was sure he had never heard a more beautiful sound in his life. He could see a future with you then. He wanted to sweep you off your feet, kiss you until you were breathless, share coffee with you early in the morning, and swap stories until late in the night. He wanted to introduce you to his daughter.

Baby steps.

"I hate to cut this short doctor, but I left the ensigns alone for too long, I'm worried there will be no lab to return to. I'll see you tonight?" You asked, fidgeting nervously with cuffs of your sleeves.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm not going to change my mind." Leonard smirked.

You blushed and smiled in relief, "good! Great!" You stood, grabbed your mug, and sauntered happily to the door. You paused just a moment and looked back at Bones sweetly. "See you later, handsome."

"See you later Y/N," replied Leonard. You gave him a cute little wave before hurrying back to the labs.

Once he was alone again in his office, Bones leaned back in his seat and admired the tickets on the desk. He almost couldn't believe how thoughtful you were, but this wouldn't be the first time you gave him an incredible gift. A couple months after you met, Bones had mentioned offhandedly that he missed a particular brand of whiskey from Earth. Despite being light years away, you managed to find some and give it to him. It wasn't even a special occasion, you got it just to make him happy. Leonard supposed he should have realized your feelings for him right then and there. Damn. He really was oblivious.

McCoy wanted to give you something tonight- no, he needed to give you something tonight. Something sweet, something romantic, something that says: 'you're special to me and I need to show it to you because I'm terrible with words'. But where was he going to find something like that on a starship? The botany labs. Flowers make for a great gift on a first date! Maybe if he was lucky, they would have irises growing down there. So what if bouquets are a little sappy?

A little sap never hurt anybody after all.

#bones #bones x reader #leonard mccoy #leonard mccoy x reader #star trek #star trek fanfiction #star trek x reader #x reader #mccoy/reader #bones mccoy #oblivious #mccoy x oblivious reader #mutual pining

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theboredasexual · 2 months

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WHAT I HOPE HAPPENS IN SEASON 7

Alright buckle up because this might get long. (also if somebody else has already made this theory I apologise)

To start, let's recap a few Important Events in season 6.

Rayla promises to kill Callum if he gets controlled by aaravos again.

Callum does the cleansing thing, and is told that if he does dark magic again he will be consumed by it.

We already know aaravos can control dark mages.

It's been said many times by many people that there is a lot of foreshadowing for Callum using dark magic again in season 7 to save Rayla, and therefore 'being consumed by it' and/or falling victim to Aaravos's control once more. In this scenario, Rayla has promised to kill him (and we all know Rayla refuses to break her promises).

There's a lot of takes on this. Some people say that Rayla will, for once, break her promise and refuse to kill Callum; but I frankly hope this DOESN'T happen, because i think it'll be wildly unsatisfying.

I've seen other people point out that there is one remaining Quasar Diamond, and it'd be an INSANE chekovs gun (or whatever the phrase is) to leave that unused. The general theory goes like this:

Callum uses dark magic to save Rayla

Aaravos controls Callum

Rayla kills Callum

Rayla uses the Quasar Diamond to bring Callum back to life

But here's the thing (and correct me if I'm wrong, ofc) isn't the Quasar Diamond unable to revive someone who's actually passed on into the afterlife? Aaravos was stuck in a prison similar to the coins, just made with primal magic, and the COINS were explicitly stated to be a plane between life and death where spirits got trapped. When Rayla's parents passed on, the left they coins but didn't return to mortality like Runaan.

So for the singular Quasar Diamond to revive a dead Callum, something ELSE would have to happen first...

Here's what I imagine in my dreams of Season 7:

At some point in the season, maybe Rayla or Callum has learnt the spell that Viren used to trap people in the coins (we know Callum has studies dark magic...I find it easy to believe that he could've written down the notes for it in his spellbook). I'm pretty sure the Staff of Ziard is required for this spell, so lets just say we have that as well. This will come back in a bit.

Rayla is in some dire moment, about to die, and Callum remembers their conversation at the ship - he remembers promising to choose the greater good over Rayla if it came to it. But he just can't. And somehow, who knows how, he has the opportunity to free her...but only by using Dark magic a third time.

It's no choice for him, of course. He does the spell and Rayla is saved but now Callum is corrupted for good and Aaravos possesses him again (or he just does something villain-arc-y idk). So now Rayla has to fulfill HER promise and even though she's beyond angry and heartbroken with Callum breaking his, she's not about to stoop to his level.

There's a dramatic-ass fight scene between warrior and mage - spells flying everywhere, Rayla battling with swords and arrows and all sorts. But eventually she overpowers him (because of course she does) - shoots an arrow through his heart or stabs him in the chest or something like that. And as he's there, bleeding out in her arms from a wound she inflicted, she gets an idea. A horrible, awful idea but its her only chance to fix this.

Without thinking (because how are you meant to think AT ALL when you're one true love soulmate is DYING-) she picks up the Staff of Ziard, finds the place in Callums book that lists the spell, and digs Runaans blank coin out of her pocket.... and suddenly Callum's dying body is gone and the coin is no longer blank and Rayla. Has. Done. Dark. Magic. GASP-

Anyway no idea what would happen after that but I just really like the idea of Rayla using dark magic and understanding Callum being unable to let her die. I feel like it'd be a GREAT moment and a really confronting and horrifying thing for her and daaammnnnnnn......

#continuethesaga #giveusthesaga #the dragon prince #tdp season 6 spoilers #tdp season 6 #tdp s6 #tdp s7 #tdp theories #tdp speculation #tdp callum #tdp rayla #rayllum #theory post

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vulcanhello · 2 years

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#tfw youve been friends for so long you integrate your languages and sayings #tos #captain’s log #trek books #im almost done with the last roundup and its fun!#kirk chekov scotty mission and spock mccoy uhura mission #sulu has his own ship atp so he has better things to do than get wrapped up in shenanigans like this #but yeah! fun book even if i do miss it when theyre not all together 😔👎#also spock is having a blast in this hes basically captain of a klingon warship and ‘when in rome’… he COMMITS to it its so great #and uhura is dragged out of her opera planning to do this bs but the klingon guy playing opposite her tags along bc hes obsessed with her #(as he should be)

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stayandot8 · 4 months

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Whispers In The Dark, Part One: Lying Through Your Teeth

Genre: college au, not all members mentioned

Relationship type: strangers to friends

Important Contents: Mr. Popular Chris Bang can't remember who he was before school. But with her? Maybe he might find a path that would lead him back to himself. But how far can he go before the rumors and his reputation become too much for her to ignore?

WC: 6.4k

masterlist

He was notorious. For what, no one could agree on, but he was well known around campus. Some would say it was his skill in bed, others would say his charms would keep him from any kind of trouble with anyone, professors and other students alike. His easy grace with people, especially strangers, made him the perfect showman for the school. He was at all the major events. It was like the head office paid him to be there, cheering when appropriate and constantly surrounded by his fraternity brothers. It was rare that he was caught without at least one of them within three feet of his personal space. It was also a well known fact that there was a roster kept hidden in the depths of his mind of those he hung around with in public, in private, and those he tossed to his brothers. It was like a hierarchy. All the girls knew where they stood with him and used that information against each other when they needed to.

Chris Bang, appropriately named, was the top man on campus. When he approached you, you couldn’t help but say hello. And if he struck up a conversation with you, it felt like catching up with an old friend. He always wanted to know how you were doing, how your classes were going, and he was genuinely interested in the answer. He asked about your family, your friends, anything that would spark up a conversation with you. And by the time he found something that you had in common, you were hooked. The way he listened to you made you feel like he was your best friend and for those minutes, he was.

He cared about people, truly. No one could act like that around people if they didn’t care about them. He was warm and inviting, like a hug when you really needed it or a warm shower after a day out in the snow. His gaze was that of a toasty fire, you could curl up in one or both with a book and live there forever.

He was across the courtyard, surrounded by his usual entourage of fraternity brothers in their lettered sweatshirts and crewnecks. Each one had a girl next to them, talking emphatically with their heads held high. The Chosen Ones for the day, week and each somehow prettier than the last. They all seemed so engrossed with one another that no one dared interrupt their conversations.

“Hey! If you stare any harder, you’ll burn a hole in their heads. And those poor girls can’t afford for anything to fall out more than it already has.” Charlie’s words clanged around in my head until they landed and I burst out laughing.

“That’s so mean.” I shook my head at her, still smiling from laughter.

“Ask me if I care. Now come here and help me with this paper. I paid for your breakfast this morning for this.” I scooted closer to her laptop on the blanket she had spread out hours ago on the Great Lawn. She moved her coffee cup so I could sit where she desired and turned her laptop to face me. “How can I make this point more clear?” I glanced at the words on her screen, reading, until an obnoxious eruption of laughter interrupted my train of thought. I whipped my head back over to the cluster seated at the tables and traded my earlier look of curiosity to one of annoyance. Unluckily, or maybe luckily, this caught the attention of one of them. Chris made eye contact and nodded in my direction with that easy smile of his. I rolled my eyes large enough for him to see and turned back to Charlie.

“Well, I think you have to stop using so many descriptor words. It’s confusing to read and I can’t tell what you’re actually trying to say. It seems like you’re saying you believe that Chekov’s plays had clear and concise endings when they really didn’t.”

“I’m getting him and Tolstoy confused again.” She hit the ground with her hands balled into fists. “Which one wrote The Living Corpse?”

A voice appeared in front of our blanket.

“That’s Tolstoy.” Chris Bang himself appeared as if from nowhere, black backpack strapped on and hands in his pockets. His hat was backwards, the casual gesture fitting for the jeans and black t-shirt he sported. He was rarely spotted wearing something different, it was his signature look of sorts along with his shining eyes and curious questions.

“Yeah, that’s him.” I pulled my eyes from Chris to look at Charlie, who in turn was staring at me with a really weird look on her face.

“Thanks, Chris. Have you done this essay yet? I swear the longer I’m in Schwartz’s class, the more I hate my life.”

“I did, I just finished it actually. Took me longer than normal because of the word count requirement.”

“I know, it’s like he wants to kill us.” I snorted and picked up her textbook to flip to the page she would need. I look back up to find Chris’s eyes back on me.

“Are you in this class too? I don’t remember seeing you in there.”

“Oh no, I took his class last year. I’ve already been through that torture. Aced the class somehow.”

“That’s why she’s here, to make sure that my torture is just as bad as hers.” Charlie glared at me from the corner of her eye, making Chris laugh.

“Damn, you’re lucky. You’ve got someone to help you. I’m out here struggling to maintain my C.”

“Well, you’re welcome to join our suffering, Chris. I’m dying over this paper and she’s laughing at me.” Charlie shot me a confident smirk, seeming to have picked up on something that I absolutely was not putting down. I furrowed my brows at her, the thought never crossing my mind about inviting him to share our blanket or the day’s exceptional weather with campus’ Mr. Popular. But there my best friend was, offering him a place in our little circle.

“I would, but I’ve got an economics class to get to. But here, when you get a chance to come back out here to study, shoot me a text and I’ll come right over.” He stooped to rip a piece of paper out of a nearby notebook and a pen. He jotted something down and handed it straight to me, locking eyes with me as he handed it over. He paused, his face frozen in a soft smile and everything around us froze along with it. The wind stopped blowing, I paid no mind to Charlie, who I would find in a second was gaping at Chris, and I felt the spark that everyone felt when interacting with Chris Bang. The butterflies came in with a strong gust of chilly October air that unfroze the moment we were stuck in. He found his voice then. “Give me a call sometime.” he said softly.

“Yeah. For sure.” I whispered back against the rustle of the trees. Chris Bang winked at me and then he was gone. The piece of notebook paper was the only physical proof I had that he had been there and it sat in my hand until Charlie practically dove to reach for it.

“Did you just get Chris Bang’s number?” She opened it and showed it to me. The series of numbers wasn’t the only thing on it. They were accompanied by a short message in his very un-boyish handwriting. ‘Call me :)’ “You have to call him later today. And don’t you dare do it without me.”

“Call him and say what? That I’m happy to be on his list of girls? Or to put me down for the newest girl to be conquered? Girl, please. I’m not Rome, I am not to be ‘conquered’.” I nodded with certainty, resolute in my mindset. Charlie just watched me, smirking and pulling her mouth to one side.

“Yeah. For sure.” She mimicked my earlier words to him. Shaking her head at me and laughing no doubt to herself, she returned to her laptop and started typing. I couldn;t tell her that while I fully believed every word I had just said, that didn’t mean that the butterflies had gone right away. They stayed there, fluttering in the space he created. It hurt that I could feel how badly they wanted to be let out.

I stared at the number on the piece of paper for the next few hours, going back and forth on whether I wanted to act on his invitation. Who knew the weight of a scrap piece of paper was so heavy? On the one hand, he seemed nice enough with no outright bad intentions other than to study. Whether he needed the extra study time or not wasn’t up to me, nor was I in the mood to find out right this second. But on the other hand, was this just a way to find a new girl? Yes, he was selective when it came to who he was interested in and his level of interest was measured by how long he pursued you. Making him wait was the way to maintain his interest. At least, that was what outside speculation had agreed on with further research and trial-and-error. To those he wasn’t interested in, he was always polite about it, but that left room for them to conduct these experiments. And the results were inconclusive. He didn’t have a type, it seemed random at times, and all of the girls seemed physically different. Only one conclusion could be officially drawn: he liked girls. That was it.

Word that he had given out his number to his newest attempt hadn’t seemed to get around yet since I didn’t have girls eyeing me up and down all day. I was relieved since I hadn’t decided if I was going to use it yet, which was what I was debating now sitting in the shared room I had. My roommate, Rihannon (yes, like the song), was out, as she normally was. Ever the social butterfly, she joined a sorority the moment she stepped on campus and hadn’t sat down since. She was always going out with her sisters, going to mixers with the different fraternities on campus, or making new friends on a blanket of her own on the Great Lawn. All of these things were a perfect fit for her because she, like Chris, had the magnetic pull with people. They wanted to know her. And she wanted to know them too. She was nice, a friend until the very end, making her the perfect fit for the social scene. But her social expertise did me no good if she wasn’t here.

So I was left to my own devices. Charlie hounded me until I ran away to catch the bus to get home.

“You better text him tonight! I want to see him at our spot by noon tomorrow if he can! And you better have proof if he can’t!”

I had rolled my eyes at her. Typical Charlie behavior, sticking her nose in every business I had. This time I couldn’t blame her though since she had been present for this cosmic event. Is that what this was? A cosmic event? Had the stars aligned for this moment to happen today of all days? It was up to me if they had. And as the time grew later, the minutes were passing by, counting down until Charlie would kill me tomorrow or not.

Ugh. Fine. You win this time. Both of you.

To: Chris Bang

I left the message open, thinking for too long about what to say to this mystical man that gave me his number out of blue. I debated texting Charlie to ask what I should say, but I knew her answer. ‘Just text him hi! Nothing scary about that.’ How wrong she was… I took a deep breath, letting my chest rise and fall fully before picking up my phone again.

To: Chris Bang

Tomorrow, under the tree next to the Lewis building. That’s our normal spot. No later than noon or else I’m toast.

I threw my phone across the bed, somehow thinking that if I held it when he answered he would know and he would think I was staring at my phone and waiting for his answer. I mean, I was, but he didn’t need to know that.

My phone lit up across the bed. I couldn’t read what waited for me on my home screen and I could feel my heart beating faster the closer I drew to my phone. It was like a ticking time bomb, even when I knew it wasn’t. I crept until I could see that the waiting message was indeed from him. And what I read when I opened it made those butterflies that had finally quieted start up again.

From: Chris Bang

We can’t have that, now can we? ;) I’ll be there with my books. What are we studying?

I could and couldn’t believe it. Some part of me that was simply a girl was ecstatic that a boy was flirting with me, according to Charlie. The other, more cautious part that was protective of that girl, was wary. I wasn’t looking for another heartbreak and I was not wanting to set myself up for one.

To: Chris Bang

Why don’t you come and find out?

Damn it.

“Why am I nervous? I didn’t talk to him last night. But then again, I didn’t buy coffee for him either.”

“Charlie, I swear to god.” The chilly September air was unusual for so early in the month, but it was that time of year here. The mornings were colder so you wore a jacket and by midday, you wondered why you even brought one in the first place. “The girl asked me if I wanted a mess-up and you know I’m not one to turn down free anything. So I said sure. End of story. I wanted a muffin too but they didn’t have any left. The girl said some guy came in and bought them all. I did not buy him a coffee. Who knows if he even likes coffee?”

“I don’t know. But I know that if he accepts it, that says something.”

“It really doesn’t.”

“It does too.”

“It says he likes free things. That’s about it. Who doesn’t like free shit?”

“I know I do.” Chris’s voice came from behind us just then, carrying a bookbag and a paper bag in his hand. “They had more muffins than they knew what to do with so I grabbed some.”

“Such a gentleman.” Charlie leaped for the bag and tore it open. “Ugh, I love Coffee Bean’s muffins. We also have extra coffee if you want it. She picked it up before she got here.”

“Oh, thanks!” Chris grabbed the cup and took a sip, his lips curving to the shape of the cup. It was that moment I took the chance to really look at him from top to bottom. His hair was parted off to the side and he had opted for a white t-shirt with our university on the front. Jeans and vans completed the look and a worn leather bracelet adorned his wrist. It almost looked homemade.

“That’s a cool bracelet.” I said as cooly as I could manage, trying not to stare at it too hard. He touched it with\a gentleness that resembled fondness, like he was remembering something to do with it.

“Thanks, my sister gave it to me before I left for school. She’s back home in Austrailia.” It wasn’t news on campus that he wasn’t from America. His accent was a dead giveaway. “She likes to say that she hates me but when I remind her about this, she gets real quiet.”

“I didn’t know you had a sister, I have one too. She moved from my hometown to Arizona. Followed where her connections took her or whatever. But she’s happier there than she ever was back home. Even found herself a girlfriend.”

“Oh wow, she must really be thriving over there then. That’s great for her. I wish my sister would find someone just so she have something else to do other than torture me through the internet.”

“How does she do that?” I took another sip of my coffee.

“She’s really growing in fame on Tiktok. She actually put out an EP not too long ago. Called Perfect Blues. She let me listen to it before she put it out for notes and stuff and it’s actually pretty good!”

“I'll have to give it a listen then if it’s that good. She must have worked really hard on it.”

“Yeah, she’s been working non stop promoting and writing new stuff. She’s actually good. It’s hard for me to believe because I still see her as my little sister. I don’t think that’ll ever change.”

Charlie was being awfully quiet, scarfing down the muffins Chris had brought. When I spotted the wrappers placed beside her and counted them. “Charlie, did you eat all of the muffins? How many are in there?”

“Oh please, there are plenty left. You two just seemed to be engrossed in conversation, I didn’t want to interrupt.” She eyed me like she had the day before when Chris gave me his number. I couldn't help my eyes rolling in response. This girl will be the death of me…

“So what are we doing today? I know I have a paper that’s due on Friday, but I can do it later-”

“See, Chris? Maybe it’s a good thing you came to us this early in the semester. This is the time we do all of those things we say we’re doing ‘later’.”

“Charlie is very intent on keeping her GPA above a 4.0. We’ve been doing this ever since freshman year, but we only found this spot last year during Spring semester. She’s been on my ass ever since, which is why I have the grades that I do. She keeps me on top of my shit and I make sure she comes up for air every once in a while.” Chris nodded along to my words, listening intently and watching. Charlie just nodded along.

“You’re welcome by the way.” She turned to Chris, coffee in hand. “I’m the reason she passed stats with flying colors last year.” I rolled my eyes for the second time in a two-minute period.

“That’s just what I like to tell her. Makes her feel more important.” I whispered over to him, which in turn made him laugh. I hadn’t heard it up close like I just had two seconds ago. When it was a genuine laugh, he almost squeaked on the intake like a door that needed to be oiled. It was an easy laugh to crave to hear. I knew it would haunt me like a ghost in the weeks to come, even then. Chris grabbed his laptop out of his backpack and started typing, pulling books from the backpack as well to occasionally look up an answer to something he was typing. I pulled out my headphones when the comfortable silence fell, leaving one ear open to the world outside of my own bubble.

“Whatcha listening to?” Chris poked my thigh from where he was laying on his stomach on our blanket.

“This and that.” I couldn’t help my smile when his attention was on me. It was like a shot of sunshine straight to your veins.

“Just this and that? Do you mind if I also listen to ‘just this and that’?” His question shouldn't have caught me by surprise, but I found myself handing him my other headphone despite myself. “I think someone’s music taste says a lot about that as a person. Well, movies and music.” He stuck it in his ear and returned to his laptop, typing away.

“I love the Princess Bride. It’s one of my favorites.”

“Mine too.” He turned his sparkling eyes back towards me and smiled. I felt the blush creep up to my cheeks and I had to look away or else risk him catching it.

I flashed a glance towards Charlie to see if she had caught the exchange. She had, because she was wiggling her eyebrows at me. ‘Oh my god’ she mouthed at me, glancing at Chris to see if he was watching. He was not. And when she turned back to me, she picked up her phone, indicating that the conversation would continue there.

From: Charlie

Dude WHAAATTTT??? I told you, he likes you!! That was not a coincidence.

To: Charlie

I still think you’re nuts

From: Charlie

Think me nuts all you want, but I’m about to prove it.

I looked up from my phone to catch her eye. ‘How’ I mouthed in my most disbelieving look. It didn't occur to her that Chris was just looking for his newest girl to conquer, and I didn’t want to spoil her fun, so I just sat back as she mouthed back to me ‘Watch’.

“Hey Chris?” He looked over his shoulder to her with his eyebrows raised. “I promised my friend over here that I would take her out for dinner tomorrow night, but I have to cancel. My boyfriend’s birthday is tomorrow and I totally forgot. He’s not around here so I have to call him and do this whole long distance date and everything. Anyway, I thought maybe you could cover for me with her?”

I could do nothing but stare at my own textbook. One half of me was embarrassed that she would be so obvious with her plans. And even without my real knowledge of it. She would pay for that tonight, without a doubt. The other half couldn’t watch the trainwreck about to crash when he said he had plans. That half would be crushed when he said no, he’d have to pass like he did when he was trying to be polite when a girl asked him out and he didn’t want to go. Either ‘sorry, I have to pass this time’ or ‘I just don’t have the time right now’. Either of those were the responses I was waiting for. Definitely not

“Sure! Is that okay with you?”

Unable to feign my deafness when he poked me again, I mumbled a quick ‘hm?’ so they could catch me up to speed.

“Charlie had to cancel on you, so I’m taking you out tomorrow night.” His excitement was an unexpected surprise. Charlie beamed triumphantly from behind him at me, relishing in her victory.

“Oh really?” I said a hair more fake than I meant to. When I tore my eyes away from Charlie to look at Chris, he had a confident but genuine smile to show me. And damn it, I couldn’t help but return it every time. “And where are we going?”

“I’ll text you the details tomorrow. Just be ready by 6, yeah?” He didn’t wait for an answer and returned to his laptop.

The excitement of going on a date with a cute boy, no matter who he was, still ran through me like it was any other date. Charlie would pay for it, no doubt. But the thrill was still there that maybe, just maybe, he might be what Charlie suspects. But only time would tell.

Chris was normal the rest of the time he laid with us on our blanket, making occasional jokes with Charlie about their shared class, the professor, and the stupid people in that class. This left me with the opportunity to look around and see if anyone noticed the Mr. Campu Man had picked a new spot to hang out. His usual crowd was seated near the picnic benches where they normally were. None of them seemed any kind of curious as to where their fearless leader was, and that seemed completely fine by them. It was when he left for his class load for the day that Charlie really got her proof.

“Alright guys, I gotta head to bio. But if the invitation is still open, I’d love to come tomorrow too.”

“Only if you bring more muffins or some other baked good with you. If not, don’t bother showing up, Bang.” To that he chuckled and when Charlie didn’t chuckle back, he glanced my way.

“Oh, she’s serious.”

“As a heart attack.” Chare chimed in without looking up from her laptop. Chris kept his face blank for a second longer, then nodded in resignation.

“Any specific requests?” He said this part to me, asking me directly. I thought for a second. If he was going to go through with it, then what was the harm?

“Bagels, if you please sir.” I said in my best mocking voice, leaving it up to him to decide if I was telling the truth or not. He laughed again and put on his now fully packed backpack.

“As you wish.” He replied and left without another word.

A hard slap hit my arm the second he was far away enough from us.

“Oh my god!” She hit me on the arm again and again until I had to grab her wrist to make her stop. “I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!”

“Why are you freaking out more than I am?” I buried my nose in the closest textbook to me to hide my face in.

“Mainly because I was right. But also because of the simple fact that a cute boy likes you! And I called it. How am I more excited than you?”

“Mainly because he didn’t even ask me. You asked him for me. He’s just being nice, Charlie. No one can say no to you, don’t you know that?”

“Girl. If he didn’t want to go, he would’ve said no. He has no problem saying no and you know that. I really don’t think he would have said yes if he didn’t want to.” I just shrugged, telling myself that she was right, but at the same time not wanting to believe it myself. I couldn’t bring myself to fully insert myself in the daydream that Charlie was living in, fighting the urge to run away and hide for good.

“I just-” I sighed and laid back on the blanket, letting the sun warm the air around me and breezes come and go. “I think I would be more excited if he had asked me himself.”

“He just needed to know that you would be into it. Give him a chance and see how he acts tomorrow night. If he’s a douche, then call me and I’ll get you out of it. But if he’s nice and into you, then that’s kinda your answer, isn’t it?”

“I guess.”

Wait and see. That was my plan. That was all I had.

After my classes of the day were over, I went back to my apartment with Rhiannon to unload in a hot shower. Rhiannon came in while I had my towel wrapped around me on the way back to my room.

“Hey! How was your day?” She asked from her place in the hallway amid the ruffle of bags she dropped by the door. She only brought one to the couch with her and rifled through it to find her laptop.

“Pretty interesting, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” She inquired, ready for more details as she peered from behind her computer.

“Yeah, I got asked out, well not really asked out-”

“BY WHO?!” She shrieked, throwing the laptop aside to jump out of her seat.

“Chris Bang?” She stops in place and turns to face me dead on. Her features were frozen in a mixture of shock and what looked like…sadness.

“Chris Bang?” She repeated.

“Yeah. He didn’t really ask me out of the blue, Charlie made up some lie about us having plans beforehand when we really didn’t and she asked him if he would take her place, which he did.”

Rhiannon was pensive as she watched me recount the details, not letting me forget a single one. She even asked me exactly what his words were when he agreed to it and what exactly happened afterwards; his mannerisms, the word choice, and the nature of his body language.

“It sounds like he was actually interested, if that helps you. From what you can recall, you don’t have to worry about that part. But you seem disinterested now. Why?”

“Because he didn’t actually ask me.”

“So?”

“He’s just filling in, he felt bad that I would be left hanging.”

“I don’t think he would’ve agreed if he didn’t actually want to go.”

“Rhi…”

She was eyeing me up and down, gauging my words against her own knowledge.

“Why can’t you believe he would like you? What’s so hard for you to believe?

“It’s not that, I just don’t want to be next in the queue. I don’t want to be just another girl he’s gone out with, no matter how cute he is or how smooth he can be. I wanted to be able to resist him because I know better than to believe-”

“Believe what? That a boy with eyes can have a crush on a pretty girl? That a cute boy would see the same thing your friends are seeing? What’s so unbelievable about that?”

I sighed. “All of it. Why him? Why me?”

“Why not him? Listen, if you’re really that worried about it, just take it slow. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t normally do on a date with a guy and just treat him like any other guy. That should ease your nerves, right?”

“No.”

“Maybe picking out your outfit ahead of time will help give you more confidence. Come!” She sprung off the couch and headed for my bedroom without turning to see if I was following. By the time I passed through my door, she was already piling clothed on my bed a foot high already.

“How do you have nothing in here! What do you normally wear on dates?”

I rolled my eyes.

God help me.

He picked a good spot, I had to admit. Not to him, not to inflate what I was sure was a big enough ego. But Marty’s was far enough away from campus that we would be uninterrupted by any of his friends but not so far that we felt secluded from society altogether. The restaurant had a good enough reputation among students to be a good place to bring a date if you want some special alone time together. The implication of him bringing me here was not lost in the bounds of my thinking mind.

The room was warm and inviting, a red kind of wallpaper surrounded us with candle lit sconces in the upper columns and casted the dining room in a warm glow. The wooden tables helped the cozy feeling as soon as you walked in, as most of the furniture in the large room matched the rest of the dining room. The walls were graced with vintage-looking florals paintings that looked like they could’ve been plucked straight from an art magazine.

“Did I mention that you look nice tonight?” Chris blushed as he asked, turning his gaze back downwards toward his menu. His repetition of the question caught me off guard, being the third time he had mentioned it.

“Yeah, you did. But thank you again.” I tried to flash him my best comforting grin, which he looked up just in time to catch.

“I’m sorry, I’m not normally this nervous.” He smiled again and let out a nervous chuckle, rubbing his hands on his pant legs.

“Why are you nervous? At least your friend didn’t have to ask someone out on a date for you.”

“How do you know she and I didn’t plan something elaborate while we were in class because I was too nervous to do it myself?” I laughed at the preposterous notion that Chris Bang could be too nervous to do anything ever. “What was that for?” His smile was back in place of his nervous chuckle.

“I’m sorry, you just don’t ever seem nervous to do anything. So the thought of that just isn’t possible.”

“Why ever not?” He was quizzical, raising his brow at me from across the table and ruffling his white button down. His black earrings initially had given me some pause but the longer I looked, I saw the Prada logo and how well they matched his tailored pants. They had a light gray pattern going around them and hit him just above the ankle. He oozed wealth when dressed like this, not that I had seen him this way until now. His hair was perfectly styled to a side part, a few strands falling into his face. His dress shoes almost seemed too fancy for the restaurant he brought me to with their gold chain going across the top.

His family must have had money.

“You just don’t seem like you get your feathers ruffled very easily. Very go-with-the-flow kind.”

“You’re not wrong. But when the first half of the plan that wasn’t up to me went perfectly and now it’s only up to me, I’m getting nervous. I haven’t been this nervous before.”

“But why? What’s so different about me?”

“Can I get you guys some wine to start with?” Just then a well-dressed waitress came up to us to hand us a laminated wine list with names I could barely pronounce written in a fancy cursive font. It distracts us enough that I forget what I was thinking before she arrived.

Chris perused the wine list and selected for us, subtly but not so subtly flashing his knowledge just a touch. He eased up a bit as the night went on, bringing up his childhood. Head bounced between Korea and Australia before coming to the states during high school so he and his siblings could have a ‘normal’ education. They lived a few states away so Chris could ward off any unwanted visits from his parents. It wasn't that he didn’t love them, but they could be a lot sometimes. He talked about his sister and how she had stayed in Australia to pursue a musical path. Chris supported her in any way he could, but that life just wasn’t for him. And his youngest brother was in school back in the home state, going through all of the fun life stages of being fifteen.

We had just gotten to what brought me to our university when the dessert had come out. The tension in my shoulders from the anxiousness of the situation had eased immensely and Chris hadn’t uttered a nervous chuckle since the appetizers.

“I picked it because it wasn’t too far from home. I had the same idea you did, except I live in-state. It’s just my mom and me. My dad decided not to be a dad anymore when I was twelve and I haven’t seen him since. From what my mom can tell me, it’s better this way. She doesn’t miss him and that tells me I shouldn’t either. I don’t remember much.”

“I’m sorry that’s the way it is, though. I don’t know what I would do without my dad.” He gave me a sad smile as he picked up his fork. I did the same and reached for the small tower of chocolate between us. It melted in my mouth just like I thought it would, but my thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of my phone on the table. I picked it up just in time to see Charlie’s name appear on my screen.

“I’ll be really quick, I promise.” I said with a grimace, standing up from my seat.

“No problem! I promise I’ll leave some for you.” He smiled back, assuring me. I nodded and headed out the front door.

“What?” I bit at Charlie.

“Soooo? How’s it going?” Her voice was airy as it questioned me.

“It’s still going and you’re interrupting!” I didn’t want to be rude but in spite of myself and how I got here, I was having a really nice time and I wanted to get back to it before the clock struck twelve and Chris Bang turned back into the popular guy who would forget who I was.

“Okay, sorry! I will await the debrief when you get back! Come straight here!” I hung up on her and reentered the building. Chris was talking to the waitress with an easy smile on his face and my heart sunk. This wasn’t supposed to be a date anyways. Not really. Charlie had done this because she was nice. I had tried not to get my hopes up but the more we talked, the easier it was to believe he might actually like me. So much for that.

He spotted me by the door and waved, motioning to the plate he had left for me to finish if I wanted. I gave him a half smile and headed back over, doing my best to ignore the sinking feeling in my chest.

“Everything okay?” He asked gently. He was putting something into his back pocket while he watched my movements for an answer.

“Yeah, she’s just nosy.”

“Ah. Well, thank her for me when you see her later tonight.”

“For what?”

“Oh, I was being serious. I asked for her help to ask you out because I was too nervous to do it myself.” I just stared at him in disbelief. He waited, with held breath it seemed, for my reaction. And when I didn’t give him one, he continued. “I had seen you around campus with her before and when she showed up in my class, I had to take my opportunity. I’m really hoping that helps me come off as cool or something and not a loser.”

“I don’t think you’re a loser.” I replied quietly. I gave him a reassuring smile and he mirrored it.

“Do you want to head out of here? Go for a walk or something?”

“Sure. Don’t we need to grab the checks first though?”

“Uh, no. It’s all taken care of.” He patted his back pocket when he stood up, which I could now see held a wallet-shaped object.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes I did. It’s only right.” He held out his hand for me to take. “Shall we go?”

Oh boy...

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