#child grooming

[furiousgoldfish]

When you're a small child, your abusive parents seem omnipotent to you. They are the highest authority you've known, they know everything and can do anything, mostly including hurting you if you don't do as you are told. They make you believe that they can read your mind and know your thoughts, and that they're impossible to escape from, they'll follow you to the ends of earth and drag you back into their house.

It's normal for small children, with no point of reference, to believe their parents omnipotent, but as they grow up, learn how things work in life, find references to how children are made and raised and what parents are responsible for - they grow out of it. They start to understand the limitations of parents, and often make use of them. They know that parents can't do or know everything, they can keep secrets, tell their little white lies, and they're not intimidated by parents because parents are not a threat to them, but figures of care and safety, people who they can go to when they're in trouble or in need of safety.

Abusive parents, however, work very hard to carry that imposing, omnipotent, oppressive illusion of them deep into adulthood. They will insist that neither you nor any authority or law can control or stop them, if they've decided on something. They'll show you by example, by manipulating people around them, sometimes even people of authority, that no matter what, they'll get their way. They'll want you to feel helpless, powerless and isolated whenever you want to oppose them. They'll manipulate your own point of view, and insist you have to see them in positive light, or else. They'll convince you that even thoughts that they don't approve of, are a sin, and that you could be punished for it. That there's nowhere to run, nobody who would believe you or help you, that you have no other choice but to submit to their will.

They wouldn't be able to impose such illusion on anyone except a child, and then the adult they've been grooming from very early age to believe these things to be eternal truths that cannot be questioned. And this is a part of what makes abusive parents so terrifying; they can go above some authority with the power of manipulation, they can lie their way out of crimes, they can gaslight and convince their victims it's their fault or it didn't happen, they regularly do and get away with this. Anyone watching that unfolding would be in trepidation of them, and hyper-aware of how dangerous these individuals are.

But, they are not omnipotent. They do not know what anyone is thinking. They do not know things outside their little bubble. If you go to a location they don't know of, and nobody can tell them, they cannot find out. They cannot predict your thoughts or actions as well as they try to convince you they can. They cannot change reality, they cannot erase what happened, and they cannot keep you imprisoned against your will your whole life. It is pretty hard on them, actually, to try and keep controlling an adult who has a mind of their own - that's why they're putting so much energy into trying to make their children into people without any thoughts of their own. But that's impossible.

Think about all the times they're really flying into rage, yelling and screaming and convincing you that something is right or wrong for you. How hard they go at changing your mind when you're thinking something that doesn't go to their benefit. Lot of effort on their part just to change your train of thoughts, isn't it? But if they were omnipotent, your thoughts would be no threat to them. If you were simply 'wrong', why would it even matter? An omnipotent being would simply shrug and not care.

They work extremely hard to change what's in your mind, because that's the only way they can keep that illusion of goodness and omnipotence. If you're allowed to think for yourself, to make your own conclusions, to believe your senses and point out what is logical, then their entire charade falls into nothing, it becomes obvious they're nothing but skilled liars and their power of manipulation is how they maintain everything else in life. It also becomes obvious how cruel and immoral their lies are, and how much damage they do to everyone around them.

They don't want you to see the limits because the limits show they're only good at terrifying and brainwashing children, not anything beyond that. You can get away from them to a place they can't follow. You can escape their cruelty and mind control. You can gain freedom. Your thoughts can be your own. You are allowed and able of keeping secrets from them. You can withhold information and opinions from them. You can lie to them. You can deceive them and trick them in order to get away. They have no legal right to you. You do not owe them anything. Their power ends the second they can't find or contact you.

[gamer2002]

https://twitter.com/libsoftiktok/status/1696664790821666816?s=09

School board removes a man for reading from the pornographic book they allow in a public school library.

[vegfam]

Willa Hoard, also known as “Billie” was a social studies teacher at Chesapeake High School and ran the school’s GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) Organization. On October 3, he was placed on indefinite leave by the school, with few details provided to parents at the time.

On November 2, disturbing video footage began circulating on Twitter from inside Hoard’s classroom. The videos originated on Facebook, first posted by a concerned mother.

In one video, two students are seen laying on the ground together, with one grinding on or humping the other in the middle of a class lecture. Another clip shows one student sucking at the stomach of another student. Both clips took place while Hoard was present in the room, apparently unconcerned by the behavior. 

But the sexual behavior Hoard allowed in his class was just one of many disturbing components of the story. Hoard had apparently been communicating with students through unmonitored channels, in flagrant violation of safeguarding ethics. In some screenshots, students are seen referring to Hoard as “mom” or “mother.”

[detectivejigsawpines]

Dark thoughts about Bill

Something I realized recently while I was thinking about Bill and Ford's relationship, and I don't know if Hirsch consciously did this or not, is that in many respects, the evil nacho is basically a child groomer.

Yes, Ford was technically an adult when they met, even if he does have the emotional maturity of a teenage girl, but considering how old Bill is, he might as well be a child. And a lot of the signs are the same used to identify child grooming, according to the Internet:

He isolates him from other people, encouraging him to see him as his only true friend and companion and think he doesn't need anyone else.

He shows an interest in him that's "too good to be true," telling him that he's special and brilliant and going to change the world and stuff.

He demonstrates a great deal of interest in Ford's development-intellectual, not sexual, but still.

He shows a lack of respect for Ford's personal and private boundaries-yes, technically Ford allowed him to take over his body while he's asleep, but he probably didn't tell him it was going to end up making his eye bleed while he was doing it, and then after he discovers Bill's true colors, he continues controlling him and abusing him whenever he gets the chance.

He allows and encourages Ford to do things others wouldn't approve of, namely working himself to death building an illegal potential doomsday device in his basement.

While he didn't necessarily tell Ford to keep him a secret, the fact that he still felt the need to really adds to the ickiness of the situation.

People who are victims of child grooming are often left with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and have difficulties with forming healthy relationships afterwards. Sound familiar?

There's probably a lot more to unpack, but the general conclusion is this: while people are obviously free to write and enjoy whatever they want, this is why I will never read or support fics that ship Ford and Bill together. Or Bill and Dipper. Or Bill and anyone else, unless it's with someone like the Other Mother from Coraline.

[mischiefserpentes]

CW: P/dophilia and Gr/oming.

Orion Simprini, lead singer of the Orion Experience, is a groomer who's age range for victims spanned from 9 years old to 20.

We can't forget about this, we can't just let it go.

He's still somehow managing to get away with it, though the allegations against him came out after Cult of Dionysus became popular in 2020.

The Orion Experience still has 891,641 monthly listeners, which is much lower than it used to be, but I think we all know it should be zero.

For more information on what happened, including screenshots from various victims, go see @project.artemis on Tiktok.

They're an account entirely dedicated to making Simprini address his victims and face justice for his crimes.

[wakraya]

Im new to the fandom and just learning about all the drama etc, so i was wondering what exactly happened with kate? were any of the (particularly non homestuck discourse, like actual serious things) accusations hurled at her true or was it all just horrible harassment? Its really hard to determine whats true because so much of it has been deleted or is coming from people who loathe her for clearly transphobic reasons. btw u dont have to answer if this is a heavy topic, in that case im sorry for bringing it up

Kate had strong opinions about Vriska and Tavros. People didn't like those opinions. She didn't back down or apologize, and in fact doubled down on those opinions. People didn't like that she didn't apologize, because they thought she had to defer to the fans screaming at her, which only made her double down more, and it led to a very toxic mutual relationship, fueled by the fact that she's trans and so this hatred and toxicity became a shield for Transphobes to bash her, which, obviously, only made everything worse for everyone.

She also sold nudes. Which is fine. She's an adult. But because she was being hated on, people started to accuse her of child grooming, because... She's... A big figure in a Fandom that has a lot of teens, and so promoting 18+ she's posting in a private paid platform is equivalent to grooming, apparently. Note, again, the Transphobia: Calling trans women child groomers and worse is a classic tactic.

Ultimately, because people hated post-canon content, and vfromhomestuck was old news, Kate became the 'Scapegoat' that was hip to hate. Every Bad Thing in Post-canon? It was Kate. Kate wrote Vriska, and projected being trans and autistic and dyspraxia on her? Wow, can't believe she made the most PROBLEMATIC CHARACTER TRANS, this is Bad rep! The whole new WP Team? She's HOLDING HUSSIE HOSTAGE and INTIMIDATING THEM and TWISTING THINGS TO GO HER WAY.

It was all a smear campaign fueled by transphobia and hatred of Post-Canon, which led to her being doxxed, close friends and relatives harassed, and having the fucking police called on her while she was actively going out in protests. People were signing petitions to get her fired from the WP Team in the middle of the Pandemic. And they celebrated and cheered, publicly, all over the Tag and on Discord Servers when they 'made it happen'.

I literally don't care how bad you think Kate's takes were or if you think she did something worse. This was a coordinated hate campaign with the intent on literally getting a trans woman killed. It was the most fucking disgusting thing I've seen in the Fandom.

[furiousgoldfish]

I need to write this down, because I keep forgetting, and then struggle to empathize properly with this issue.

When you're a kid who's being groomed, brainwashed or exploited by someone, you don't feel it as a manipulation or harm; instead it feels like a fair exchange. You feel as if you've found a person, who is offering you some sort of security, empathy, companionship, understanding, safety, protection, even love. It makes you feel special, like you're a part of something important, or even something sacred, irreplaceable, something you will never get a chance to be a part of again. It feels safe, it feels like something you never want to lose, or even something you couldn't go on without. If you're of such bad luck that your groomer was the only person you could rely on for attention or love, then for you they were the only person who kept you from being completely neglected and alone. Children would give almost anything to not be neglected and alone.

And in return, you just have to give them something they need from you, and it doesn't feel like you're losing something important to them, it feels like this is normal, like you're lucky they actually need you back. You'd give them anything, as long as they stay with you, keep giving you purpose and importance and positive self-perception. You don't know what you're giving, you don't understand that you're losing something, or getting hurt or traumatized. You feel like you know what you're doing and you chose this, you need this. Like you need them.

A lot of grooming situations end with the abuser abandoning, or emotionally discarding the child, and this doesn't feel like relief that the exploitation is over, more often than not, it feels absolutely devastating, it fees like you're losing something important, something you depended upon or held onto for dear life. Being discarded after doing so much to try and keep this person wanting you, is crushing and heartbreaking. And then it can take years to re-contextualize the situation and to realize that it wasn't love, that it wasn't a positive bond, or something special, or something fair, that you were in fact, hurt so badly you now have trauma symptoms and see the world in a twisted, self-deprecating way because of what they did to you. That's another layer of unbearable pain, to understand that a person who you believed loved you, maybe even the only person to ever love you, did not in fact care for you at all. That they used you in the worst possible way and then got rid of you like you were nothing. A person who loves you wouldn't do that. They would never do that to you.

It's almost too painful to face this, and preferable to keep believing that it was love, but the person didn't know what they were doing or how it would affect you or was in some sort of dark past situation themselves so they couldn't' do better, so you could live with it somehow. Because to acknowledge that you were a defenseless child and that your vulnerability of inexperience and lack of protection was exploited in the worst possible way, by someone you loved so dearly you'd do anything for them, that is unbearable.

Grieving for what you had with the abuser, how it made you feel, missing them, needing more of what you got from them, wanting their attention, understanding, acknowledgment, apology, wanting to see that they can change and love you - that is normal after an event of abuse and grooming. That is normal for someone who didn't receive normal types of love that they didn't have to earn or deserve or give something in return for. That is not something to be ashamed for - you did not create this situation, and it's not your fault a predator found you and did this to you. You're allowed to grieve what you felt was love. You're allowed to grieve even the illusion you thought was true and built your life upon, it's a real loss, and a big loss.

The anger and the hatred might take a long time to come, or even never, because it's difficult to change how you felt towards someone your whole entire life, to such extreme level. It makes you feel like you were wrong, like you were cheated and tricked, and that's humiliating, unjust and makes you feel helpless, and that's the last thing you want to feel about your life. It's normal to just be sad and confused for a long time, and to take your time figuring out what actually happened, what part of it was intentional, how could a person do that to you and why would they. It's normal to want to cling to every last bit of hope before acknowledging that what happened was traumatic, undeserved and lead by the intentions of cruelty and personal gain. Your little heart did not deserve that, and it doesn't deserve it now. You deserve to take your time processing it.

[gamer2002]

Residents would come to public meetings and read excerpts from books they wanted to ban, cherry-picking explicit passages so they could accuse the libraries of having pornographic material.

“They take ‘Genderqueer’ and they open it up to the page where there is a dildo blow job, but they don’t talk about the rest of the book or what the book is even about,” Smith said, referring to Maia Kobabe’s bestselling book that describes their journey to figuring out they’re nonbinary.

How dare they throw accusations of child grooming over pornographic content in the book.

[vegfam]

hmmm

[moved-to-piersgender]

I would like to formally apologize on behalf of all genderfluid people named Orion

[troythecatfish]

Here’s my personal recommendation of a YouTube video to check out:

[dddemigirl]

I was groomed by adult men as a minor on more than one occasion because my parents didn’t keep an eye on my online use. I know today’s kids have it worse because they’re getting tablets and phones at a younger age than our generation was when we got our first computers and phones. Please watch out for your kids/younger siblings, etc.

[komatsunana]

wait did i miss something what did reira do? i thought her relationship with ren 2 is sweet,,,

Hi Anonymous! I actually have another ask that I am drafting a longer reply to, regarding this topic (Reira and Ren jr) but I wanted to reply to you real quick with just,, a briefer reply tho despite that this will all be under a cut due to the discussion of child grooming.

Please proceed with that in mind.

I understand why it doesn't immediately stand out what the issue could be, it wasn't until @mediocreauthor mentioned the possible pattern of Reira having these intense relationships with young boys (Shin and Ren). And it was like the scales fell from my eyes and I sudden saw what had been niggling at me for years and the deeper issue Reira has really illuminated for me.

The thing is,, is Reira actually attracted to 15 year olds? Or is she attracted to Shin who is more vulnerable than she is and is preoccupied with her in a way her adult lovers are not (in large part BECAUSE of his age)? It's not about Shin being 15, it's about her taking advantage of his age and using it to make herself feel better about herself. It's about taking a young, malleable life who has much less life experience than Reira does and a possible pattern of turning them into ideal partners for her.

Let's look at some real celebrities... Take a look at Jay-Z and Beyoncé, they met when she was a teenager (she claims 18, which is Legal but does that make it right? and tbh... it sounds like it could have been younger) and they have a 12 year age gap. While it was not until a few years later that they developed into a romantic relationship... there is a lot of unequal power dynamics between someone who knew as a minor someone as an adult authority (even if only as a friend or mentor). They are regarded as a power couple now, but that's sort of the point of taking someone young and impressionable and using your authority as an adult... to possibly mold them into the Ideal partner. And you just had to have access them when they were much younger for a few years to do it!

Also, Drake Bell began grooming an underage fan for years, starting when she was 12. It's just this terrible thing that a lot of adult celebrities do and I do plan on doing more research into the specifics for the other ask. But it is this real life issue, being perpetuated in manga.

And do I know it is intentionally portrayed by Yazawa? Probably not, most likely not. But she has a way of identifying patterns, so idk.

What matters is that Ren jr is young, he is impressionable. And already we see is very attached to Reira and defensive of her despite her being the adult and he the child. And we don't know Ren's age - probably between 7-9 years old. But the thing with children is they get older. And eventually he will be 15, and how much closer will he be to Reira by then? That's so many years of exposure to a woman with a past history of having sex with a 15 year old. And this 15 year old will have spent so many years of his life with her, attached and defensive of her condition.

And that is disturbing.

And I do have SO MUCH MORE to say on the topic. And I will with the other ask in my ask box, but I will leave it here for now. But I hope anyone else that didn't see the possible pattern of Reira having power over young boys having insidious implications does now. And understands why Takumi and Hachi need to remove their son Ren from Reira's side ASAP, for his protection.