#chocolate mile

[confessedlyfannish]

Writing Prompt #14

"You foolish, stupid child," Vlad hisses, pinning Danny to the wall. Danny's eyes turn green as he wraps both his fists around the one Vlad has clenched in his collar, his feet dangling in the air. Vlad leans in, his own eyes burning red.

"When, exactly, did you plan on telling me your biological father was Bruce Wayne?" he says furiously.

Danny's hands drop in surprise. "W-What?" he gasps.

Vlad drops him unceremoniously and he lands on the floor in a heap. Vlad claws at the air in frustration.

"Don't lie to me, boy." Vlad says, omitting his often used possessive "my" in front of "boy".

"How do you know that?" Danny asks warily, propping himself up. He watches Vlad push a shaking hand through his hair. The man looks down at him before dropping in an ungainly squat beside him.

"Of all the sperm donors, Bruce Wayne, Daniel? Really?" The man asks, despairingly.

"I didn't exactly choose him, Vlad."

"No, I suppose you didn't."

"Seriously," Danny says, watching the man rock back on his heels as a growing pit forms in his stomach. "How did you know about him?"

Vlad's mouth twists bitterly. "Because he now knows about you."

"What do you—"

"Vladdy! Danno! What are the two of you doing on the floor?" Jack flops down beside them, a tray of freshly prepared fudge in his hands. "We having a heart-to-heart boys? Let me in on this!"

"Jack," Vlad says. "If you truly want to have a heart-to-heart with your son, I suggest you tell him the real reason I've come over today."

Jack's face falls.

"Vlad," Maddie says from behind him. "Thank you for coming. We're grateful for all you've done, but I think we can handle it from here."

"Madeline," Vlad says, rushing to his feet. "I must insist—"

"And I must insist you see yourself out," Maddie smiles tightly. "You know where the door is, don't you?"

"Mads," Jack says gently, looking between the two.

"I can show him out," Danny says, getting up as well.

"That's alright, Danny," Maddie says. "Why don't you go get your sister? We need to have a talk...as a family."

Danny glances at Vlad.

"Now, Danny," Maddie says. Danny heads for the stairs, pit growing ever larger.

--

The next time they meet it is Danny who has Vlad pinned, the gaudy chandelier above him shaking with the force of his rage.

"You should've told me," Danny growls.

"I thought your parents had you informed," Vlad says, utterly unbothered by the teen cracking what is thankfully not a load-bearing wall of his mansion. "Honestly Daniel, we could throw around allegations of deception on both sides, particularly mine as I assume you've known for quite some time now, if not the entire time, about your father hmm?"

Danny's eyes flick away in an obvious tell.

"Yes, I thought as much. But rather than whinging about being blindsided, I suggest we focus our energy on the solution."

Danny drops Vlad, barely biting back a snarl when the man lands gracefully on both feet.

"Which is?" Danny asks.

"First of all, your well-meaning but frankly moronic parents seem to believe that they can make a case for your custody without the assistance of my legal team. It is in both of our best interests to dissuade them of this."

"They don't like feeling indebted, Mom in particular."

"Well, to be crude for a moment Daniel, tough shit. Yes," Vlad says in response to Danny's widening eyes, "I said it. Bruce Wayne has the best of the best on his payroll and your parent's rinky-dink attorney from the local practice won't stand a chance against Friedman & Sons. Especially once he establishes paternity."

"He can do that?" Danny asks. "I mean I'm almost eighteen, can't I just refuse?"

"The keyword here, Daniel, is almost. As in, you are not. The judge can take your wishes into consideration, but I suspect Wayne will make a case for an unsafe living environment alongside his paternity to win his petition for full custody."

"Un-unsafe living environment?" Danny sputters. Vlad eyes the boy dryly before gesturing to all of him, currently clad in silver and black hazmat. Danny drops the transformation with a wince.

"In fact, I suspect that's the main reason the man filed in the first place," Vlad continues. "Lord knows he doesn't need anymore heirs to fight over his fortune once he passes—"

"Jesus, Vlad,"

"—so I believe he did some digging and found your home to be, well, wanting. On paper, Daniel, your parents sound eccentric at best, dangerous at worst. Pull the right strings, and hospital records just fall into laps. He probably thinks he's rescuing you." Vlad sneers. "If only he knew how quick you are to spit in the face of one offering you a comfortable and wealthy home."

"Fuck off," Danny says. "Is that what this is about? If you can't have me, no one can?"

Vlad rolls his eyes. "Come now, Daniel. Are you really intending to keep up this pretense?"

"What are you talking about?"

"We agreed a long time ago that no matter the nature of our quarrel, we would leave the Justice League out of it," Vlad says, taking a menacing step forward. "You think I, running in the circles I do, would have no knowledge of Bruce Wayne's alter-ego?" He takes another step, voice rising. "I have avoided drawing The Batman's attention for years, no matter how often our paths crossed. I stayed under his radar for decades, and now, BECAUSE OF YOU, I AM ABOUT TO BE RUINED."

With a creak and a groan, the chandelier drops, landing between them with a crash. Danny coughs from the dust as Vlad takes a heaving, calming breath.

"Then why get involved at all?" Danny asks, staring at the ground.

Vlad sighs, clapping his hands twice. Several ghosts dressed in service uniforms fly out the woodwork, gathering up bits of chandelier as others begin to mop.

"Because, little badger," Vlad says, walking away from the mess. "If we lose this, he'll have you in the palm of his hands. Which is infinitely worse."

Entering the kitchen, he pulls an open bottle of white out of the kitchen fridge and pours himself a glass, throwing a Fiji water to Danny who takes it for the peace offering it is.

"He won't."

"Won't what, Daniel? Please speak in full sentences."

"Won't have me," Danny says, letting a thin coat of frost spread over the bottle. He tips the freezing cold water into his mouth and wipes his face with his sleeve, mostly to see Vlad grimace.

"Why, because you'll run away if he wins? Until you turn eighteen? I won't have you fail to complete your education because of a cockamamie scheme, Daniel—"

"Because I have a solution, Vlad, one that doesn't involve the courts or running away."

"And what is that, exactly, Daniel?"

--

"You're going to leave my family alone."

"Danny," Mr. Wayne says, blinking in surprise at the boy on his doorstep and miles away from Illinois.

"I mean it," Danny says firmly. "You're going to drop your petition and whatever smear campaign you were planning on and leave the Fentons alone."

"Danny...why don't you come inside?"

Danny takes a step back from the manor's large doors. "You want a relationship with me? Brute force isn't the answer."

Bruce takes in the teenager, lanky but almost to his eye level. His eyes are clear and sharp, his demeanor forcibly calm.

"I debated whether going through the court was the right thing to do," Bruce says slowly, matching calm with calm. "But I wanted to be above board."

"Because my adoption wasn't?" Danny says, arms crossed. "Yeah, I'm aware. Kinda hard to adopt a kid that doesn't legally exist. And I know what you're going to say, the Fentons should've reported me to the system, but they didn't do it because I begged them not to. Because I didn't want my biological parents to find me."

"Danny..."

"You can swing your dick around and get your way, exactly the way I thought you would do things," Danny says, "Or you can have a relationship with me on my terms. A relationship where I don't despise you because you took me away from the people who've loved me no matter their faults."

"You're asking me to choose your happiness over your safety." Bruce says carefully.

"That's bullshit," Danny says. "I had a lab accident when I was fourteen and went directly against my parents' instructions. They trusted me, and I made a mistake."

"It's not a matter of trust. You were a child, Danny, and you almost died." Bruce says, not bothering to feign ignorance. Footsteps echo behind him.

"Bruce?" A voice calls. "Is that..?"

"Your son did die," Danny says. "He took a flight with your credit card to Ethiopia and got blown up. I bet you trusted him too."

Bruce reels back as a hand lands on his shoulder, the other on the door.

"Whoa, whoa, uh, Danny, right? I'm Tim, I'm—"

"I know who you are," Danny says, clenching his fists. Powering through the hurt he is causing. "I didn't come here to point out what a total hypocrite you are. I just want you to back off. And if you give me your number, we can text and I'll come to Gotham for Thanksgiving or the ski chalet in Vermont or your villa in where-the-fuck-ever and you can be Uncle Bruce that I maybe even tolerate being around once in a while. Just leave my family alone."

"Bruce, what is he talking about?" Tim asks. "Back off of what?"

"Your Dad is suing my parents for full custody," Danny says when it becomes clear Bruce isn't answering.

"What?" Tim hisses, turning to Bruce. "That isn't what we talked about!"

"Danny. I..."

"Here," Danny says, thrusting an index card forward that he's scrawled his phone number and email onto. On the other side is the past participle conjugation for 'venir'. "I won't answer until you drop the custody petition. Which I expect you to do by tomorrow morning."

"Done," Tim says, stepping past Bruce and taking the card. "Give me about noon to get it all squared away with the lawyers. Do you have a hotel? A way home? I'd be happy to reimburse your flight and accommodation."

"Overstepping already."

"Fair enough," Tim says coolly, raising his hands. "Our lawyers will reach out when it's settled."

"Great. Bye." Danny says, turning to leave. He waits until he hears the manor door close behind him before pulling out his cell phone.

Ring!

Ring!

"Hello?"

"It's done."

"What's done? Again, little badger, full sentences, I beg of you."

[bloodofgrapes]

this kid is gonna be on so many anti anxiety medications one day

[artzee534]

Although wholesome Sonic and Tails art is good, we need more gremlin siblings art of them, too

they deserve shenanigans. as a treat

[melanated-honey]

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

I literally forgot how badly they both got beat up by the Deadly Six before finally triumphing and sending them home but oh my word

Still, the way they're leaning on each other, hobbling to the door together, trying to make sure the other is alright, and still giving each other a fist bump despite being so obviously exhausted and hurt.

🥺💙💛

[refundwhereappliccable]

kachow

[t1koy-roll]

Petey's Spider Experience

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

Julian tells Miles he should give his wife a present and immediately suggests the exact same gift that he and Garak famously give each other, which could mean nothing

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

I think the weirdest part about people thinking Gwen "lead on" Miles, is this

Like, I get that during the first time watching this movie people may not realize what Gwen is doing, but the movie has been out for almost 3 months and is out digitally (which means easier access by Very legal means.) And yet I somehow still see posts about Gwen trying to "manipulate" Miles somehow.

(Some of you really haven't been manipulated, which good for you guys, but open a book first ffs.)

I think what even after all this time, I find funny, is that Gwen had one fucking mission.

Yet what she does as soon as she has a clearance to go to 1610 without anyone (ahem, Miguel,) getting in her case about being with the anomaly.

Listen to her little giggle at seeing him shocked, how she barely contains herself from hugging him, and is not discrete in the slightest.

"Gwen led on Miles," Listen feel free to prefer Gwen and Miles as friends, but lead on implies Gwen isn't every bit as infatuated (if not more) than Miles; and just trying to hide it by any means necessary because she believes it will not work.

And to top it all off, she isn't even good at hiding!

[crystallinegazer]

the bros!!

[constantwarriorblogs-blog]

Finally getting around for a sequel to this post

I'd imagine there are some points where Sonic and Tails stop showing each other cursed images for a few weeks or months depending on schedules, missions and motivation, neither of them acknowledge their food atrocities, and no one still knows why they abuse their cooking skills, no one can get proper answers out of them.

Until either Sonic, or Tails commits a war crime in the kitchen and the cycle starts over again

The first time it happened, Amy thought Sonic and Tails finally gave up on the multiple food sins, it really gets out of hand sometimes. At first, it was just beans being poured into places beans shouldn't be and now it's just unhinged (No amount of bleach can ever wipe the memory of the chilli pickle)

It's all quiet until she hears Sonic audibly gag in the other room while Tails has the widest, most maniacal grin she's ever seen him have.

She manages to catch a brief glimpse of his phone and saw what Tails had sent.

You know that Vanilla extract meme from a while back, the poll that started the whole thing leading to that wonderful picture? That's what Tails did. It was nothing but sludge and a very heartbreaking sight for Amy.

In retaliation against the sludge, Sonic sent a picture of Top Ramen with marshmallows poured into it, followed by whipped cream, chocolate sauce and sprinkles like it's a fucking sundae

Both Sonic and Tails have been banned from cooking at any of their friends' kitchens since they started this but it hasn't helped at all because of all the live in labs Tails has, that and they don't even need to cook. Sometimes simply having access to anything remotely edible is enough. Tails once received a picture of a lemon or lime with a bite taken out of it. The fruit wasn't peeled or cut (though it would have been just as cursed), Sonic straight up bit through the peel

Vanilla herself doesn't want Cream to be exposed to the atrocities that has been described by Amy.

Sonic and Tails technically aren't banned from cooking at Vanilla's house, they don't dare to.

[tornado1992]

Little almost starved to death baby Tails panicking the first time Sonic took him to a food buffet because he over ate and thought he was gonna die cause he never felt so full in his life, little baby boy thought he was gonna explode.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

We need to talk about the most important thing yet, what their favorite Junk food? And I mean the family...

For this ask, we gotta head back into the modern Jake Sully wheelchair au.

Jake and Neytiri are health freaks.

I've said before, they like to do all sorts of things. Before they had children they were spontaneous backpackers and thrill seekers, attempting to do the most all the time. It was like all about proving to everyone (and also Jake) that he could still do anything anyone else could, but also about Neytiri getting out and seeing the world instead of being stuck at home.

That being said, Jake can really fuck up a bag of cape cod potato chips. Not as unhealthy as other junk food, and so classic American.

Neytiri is one of those bastards that gets raisins as a treat for the movies. Nature's candy and all that. She has a weakness for chocolate though, specifically those lindor ones with the soft insides. She'll only ever have like one or two, and one time Jake bought her chocolate covered raisins and almonds and it was over. If those are in the house she will sniff them out like a bloodhound.

Neteyam likes takis, because he is cultured and has taste.

Kiri is also a chocolate covered almonds person, but she also really likes hot cheetos.

Lo'ak threw up in the car once after eating a fuck ton of hot cheetos, and now he can't even look at them without getting nauseous. It's half the reason Kiri likes hot cheetos. In retaliation, he likes those absolutely disgusting beef jerky sticks, because Kiri is a vegetarian and the smell makes her loose her hot cheeto appetite.

Spider is regular and doesn't base his favorites around the hatred of his siblings. He just also likes takis, but has to compete with Neteyam subtly by only eating the blue heat ones. Neteyam is weak for liking the regular ones better.

Tuk likes almost all junk food, but she is particularly fond of marshmallows burnt to an almost inedible crisp. Lo'ak makes them best.

Mo'at and Sylwanin think Neytiri is not fully appreciating the fun that is junk food. This is a battle Sylwanin fights daily, as Tsu'tey is also a raisin man. He and Neytiri could hold seminars on the destructive junk food industry. That being said, he prefers a dried mango strip to raisins any day. Dried apricots? He goes crazy. His guilty pleasure is definitely the occasional sugary cocktail though. Jake, Tsu'tey, and Eytukan could DEMOLISH some boxed wine, they could get absolutely smashed on only Sex on the Beaches. Margaritas, Dirty Shirleys, Sangria, any super colorful ladies drink: that is their shit. If it has little squares of fruit and a tiny umbrella in it, the night is going sideways.

Mo'at is partial to those little chocolate nut clusters, you know the ones. Those really delicious ones. She also is one of those grandmas with bowls full of candy all over the house, and is constantly popping tictacs.

Sylwanin (who prefers a strong whiskey, or maybe a shot of fireball, to a sugary cocktail) enjoys sour patch kids. She is more of a sour person than a sweet one. Jake has said this before, and she tipped him from his chair into the pool. Neytiri didn't speak to her for the rest of the day because he could've not been ready and been hurt, but Jake laughed so hard pool water came out his nose.

Eytukan likes those little chocolate peppermint candies, the Andes ones. He has the best taste of all, I'm telling you.

[artzee534]

mint chocolate defenders RISE UP!

[frogyjones-art]

A butch with a condom in their wallet call that a phallusy

[000marie198]

Mangey and Silver both bond over the shared trauma of how Amy's shampoo doesn't taste as good as it smells

Oh my gosh the poor boys

Oh no. I can picture this happening so clearly poor Silver. Poor Mangey. He would eat a soap bar if it's fruit scented and eat hand wash if it's chocolate scented my baby boy my son

I can just tell his brothers would be freaking out fussing over him. let me take you to Vanilla, sweetie, she might know something to make you feel better