#choosing to interpret them in a poor light

[queer-reader-07]

i love when people seemingly do everything in their power to interpret what you’re saying in the most bad faith way possible. it’s so fun and nice. (sarcasm)

[kitakashi]

Cats (2)

Featuring: Sawamura, Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Kozume, Futakuchi, Ushijima, Bokuto, Ojirō, Sakusa…

Part 1

Sawamura Daichi loves to dress up your cat with small articles of clothing. Bow ties, little vests, and his favorite a mini police officer cap. He even keeps a small picture of Officer Meow with him for the occasions that he has to deal with small children. Your cat is an honorary member of the police force with their own miniature plaque.

Your poor cat is teased by Matsukawa Issei. Gently tugging their tail, putting his finger in their mouth when they yawn, and his personal favorite the laser light. Don’t worry though, your cat gets revenge by using his long legs as a scratching post, laying down with their butt in his face, and running off with his bedroom slippers.

Hanamaki Takahiro is a stay at home cat dad. Of course that’s not all he is, but that’s what he cheekily tells people. He even designed a whole cat room with shelves on the walls for your cat to run across. Once he started posting videos online of his interior cat design, he started getting paid requests for tutorials. You two and your fur baby have a very comfortable life all thanks to your kitty.

Your cat is a regular on Kozume Kenma’s channel. He even has a special cat bed next to his set up on his desk with a special camera so people can watch your kitty’s reactions. Your cat follows his avatar on screen and will meow demands. His followers enjoy interpreting those instructions for your man to follow. Even if your cat just sleeps, they still steal the show.

Futakuchi Kenji and your cat judge people together. Their favorite perch is a seat by the window where either your cat sits in his lap while he scrolls social media making snarky comments or they stare at your neighbors. You’ve had a few complaints that it’s disturbing but it’s worth it to come home and see both their faces looking out the window. It’s both hilarious and endearing.

Ushijima Wakatoshi has trained your cat to do simple tricks. He even took a video of your cat obeying simple commands like sit, and roll over to show his teammates when they didn’t believe him. Now your cat is a hot conversation topic for the Adlers. You aren’t sure if your kitty will jump through hoops like he wants, but it’s adorable to see your giant of a man try to bribe your fur baby.

Bokuto Kōtarō meows back at your cat. You have no idea what they’re saying but it’s a frequent occurrence to enter a room where the two are holding a conversation in cat language. Apparently, your cat informed him when their birthday is so now you can celebrate it. The two of them are adorable wearing tiny party hats.

Ojiro Aran and your cat work out together. He lets your cat choose his music by holding out his phone with various playlists on screen and they listen to whatever the cat touches. Your cat’s favorite is sit up’s, kitty perched on his knees and gets a little nose boop every time. He even got a little harness to take your kitty running with him. Your fur baby ends up being carried but it’s still cute.

Sakusa Kiyoomi has always had a thing for lint rollers. That only exemplified after you two got together. Yet, he treats your cat like an actual baby. Always brushing your kitty, trimming nails, wiping eyes, giving baths (to your fur baby’s chagrin), and kissing their little head. Of course, every cuddle session is followed by him furiously attacking himself with aforementioned lint roller. Your kitty has the best hygiene of any cat ever.

[psychic-refugee]

Wenclair as a ship in itself I understand. It can be fun, and interpretation is up to the fan content creator. Wyler, Wenvier, Enjax, Wenclay and AroAce Wednesday I think are all equally valid interpretations. Just as any other combination.

Shipping non canon relationships is a choice made by personal preference.

I less understand the expectations of Wenclair being actually possible to become canon. I feel like it’s only possible in the sense that “anything is possible” because no one can ever truly predict the future.

However,

Tim Burton does not have a history of producing LGBTQ+ focused projects. There are barely any background characters that are prominently and explicitly queer in his long CV.

The Ottingers are outliers and background characters with a second of screentime. I have doubts we’ll ever see them again, and honestly, they are the farthest I think Burton is willing to go.

Millar also doesn’t have a history of writing main cast LGBTQ+. He and Gough only reference the relationship between Enid and Wednesday as “friendship” and “sisterhood” when confronted with the idea of Wenclair. (NME, 24 Dec 2023).

Netflix has a documented poor history of treatment of shows with prominent lesbian leads (First Kill, I Am Not OK With This, and Warrior Nun).

Given all of that, I’m also not in the writers’ room, so time will ultimately tell if my skepticism is warranted.

Nonetheless, there is overwhelming evidence that Wenclairs have detrimentally affected Jenna and Emma. I don’t see them wanting Wenclair to happen and they certainly aren’t entertaining the mere possibility of it any longer.

Jenna has not mentioned Wenclair in a positive light since that one interview in Teen Vogue, 9 Dec 2022. It’s been over a year since; a lot of stuff has happened. Plenty of reasons for Jenna to have changed her mind.  

Emma made a non-committal comment about “how anything is possible” when it comes to S2 and Wenclair. (Variety, 30 Jan 2023)  But, again, that was over a year ago and a lot of toxic behaviour has happened since then.

Just as with Jenna, Emma has a lot of motivation now to not support Wenclair becoming canon.

Emma also pushed off the possibility of Wenclair beyond S2, she gave the excuse of Wednesday needing a “season of singleness.” Id. Wednesday WAS single in S1, she never claimed anyone as an SO. It sounds more like Emma was a hostage trying to appease her kidnappers by telling them what they wanted to hear. She pushed off the idea of Wenclair to a season that’s not guaranteed to materialize. That’s called passing the buck. If S3 never happens, then she’s not responsible for adhering to an implied promise of Wenclair being possible at all.

Now, Emma has made it a point to stress that shipping is fine as long as it doesn’t cross over into real people. (NME, 27 June 2024).

Wenclairs failed to do that in a spectacular fashion.

Emma admits that Wenclair was a joke they told amongst themselves when it first became apparent it was a popular ship. Id. Wenclair is “funny” to them because they never intended for it to be a ship, but fans choose to interpret it that way.

People ran with Jenna’s comments, but I believe she was supporting it in jest in the way Emma reported in June. Jenna even framed Wenclair only happening in “a perfect world.” (9 Dec 2022) She said it would only happen in an impossible circumstance. I don’t get how people took that to mean she was trying behind the scenes to make it happen, or that it was a secret interpretation fans were meant to figure out on their own.

I think if she knew how much her “fans” would sexually harass her and Emma with the idea of Wenclair, she would not have said it at all. I think with how careful Jenna is with what she posts now, she knows better to say things off the cuff or in jest.

Wenclairs have taught her harsh lessons on how to interact with social media and interviews.

I think it says a lot that Jenna has only been photographed with her stylist in the past several years. She has had plenty of opportunities to do pictures with the cast since filming started, specifically Emma and yet…

Wenclairs have been so rabid and hostile to anyone challenging their fantasy that she only feels safe being seen with Enrique Melendez, her employee, or her family. That’s not normal.

I think there’s a reason why Wenclairs hyperfocus on Jenna making the ship happen and not Emma.

Jenna clearly doesn’t mind doing roles that involve sapphic elements (Miller’s Girl and The Fallout). The same cannot be said about Emma. Wenclairs are so quick to jump on Jenna’s CV of “kissing women” and pointing to that as proof of her queerness. By THEIR same logic, what does it mean if Emma has not done any role where she kisses women?

Jenna’s a great actress and I think could have chemistry and a rapport with a tree if the script called for it. I think she didn’t mind the idea of Wenclair at the time (regardless of how farfetched the possibility was or that it was never originally or seriously considered), but I don’t think she ever intended for people to interpret her characterization of Wednesday that way.

I think both Jenna and Emma regret implying or joking about the possibility of Wenclair as the fans started to sexually harass them on IG with comments on how they are for sure lesbians (neither have stated so) under their posts that have nothing to do with the other as well as everywhere else. Neither can celebrate their own separate accomplishments without Wenclairs mentioning the ship or obnoxiously asking “Where’s Jenna/Emma?”

Wenclairs also post explicit art of Jenna and Emma’s likeness in public forums such as Twitter/IG (and tag them or send it to them directly), and harass male coworkers Jenna has romantic scenes with (Finest Kind). Emma’s male co-star in AGGGTM has also experienced harassment.  

Jenna has outright said she quit Twitter because she was sent explicit AI art of herself right after Wednesday took off.

I 100% believe it was sent by a Wenclair account and it was sexual Wenclair art, given the timing and their appalling behaviour to date.

“I ended up deleting [Twitter] about two, three years ago because of the influx after [Wednesday] had come out, these absurd images and photos, and I already was in a confused state that I just deleted it…It was disgusting, and it made me feel bad. It made me feel uncomfortable” (Entertainment Weekly, 25 Aug 2024) (emphasis added).

I think Jenna coming out and specifically saying there would be no romance for Wednesday (Digital Spy, 8 June 2023) after the December 2022 article is another direct consequence of Wenclair harassment. She changed her tune very explicitly and Netflix has not contradicted her, nor have the showrunners, writers, or Burton ever shown committed support for Wenclair. At most it’s “we’re open to it,” and that was before the harassment got as bad as it is.

Jenna’s playfulness is completely absent in all these interviews since Wenclairs started to harass her. Whatever they were “open to,” the Wenclairs shut it violently.

I wasn’t aware until recently that the Wenclairs were so creepy, invasive, and lacking even the barest of social graces that they were also harassing Jenna’s family.

Here is Aliyah, Jenna’s sister, scoffing and clearly exasperated by the shipping. I highly doubt this frustration comes from being asked just once, she’s probably fielded this question way too many times. She no longer follows Emma on IG.

There are also reports of other IG Lives by Aliyah outright stating that the shipping was out of control and detrimental to their family. Of course Wenclairs are completely crickets about this.

It’s bad enough Wenclairs shove their personal fantasies in Jenna and Emma’s face, but they do it to their siblings? Likely when the siblings were minors or barely adults as Aliyah is only 20.

Emma in the Variety, 30 Jan 2023 article also says her sister would show her stuff, meaning her family was also getting exposed to it.

The latest Vanity Fair article states that Jenna won’t ever make any romantic relationship public. (6 August 2024). She states that her relationships are “hers” and that her fans can’t separate the real her and the celebrity they have built up in her head. Id.

She makes an effort to use gender neutral terms when it comes to a romantic partner. I respect that she doesn’t want to come out as either heterosexual, homosexual, or anywhere in between or outside of the binary. That is her choice, I think there’s a vast difference between keeping things private and being in the closet. Either way it’s also NONE OF ANYONE’S BUSINESS.

But I think it’s undeniable that even though she would get a lot of support if she were queer, Wenclairs have made it so unbearable that she won’t reveal a partner or come out at all.

Wenclairs have made it unsafe and hostile for her to acknowledge her own sexuality publicly, much less a partner.

I think it’s too late for Wenclairs to back off, it looks like they already ruined the friendship or at best drove it underground if the total lack of social media content of them together is indicative of anything.

If they are still friends, then they don’t trust Wenclairs with knowing about it and don’t want to share it with them. It looks like Jenna doesn’t want to share any friendship publicly anymore.

Unless it’s to promo movies or a brand deal, she rarely posts pictures on social media anymore. It’s very rare she posts personal pictures of herself doing non-work outings. She’s keeping her personal life extremely close to her chest.

How exactly do Wenclairs expect a friendship to survive constant, sexual harassment? How can they hang out together when everything they do together is sexualized? Why would anyone think the actresses would encourage a storyline that would invite more?

How do they expect Jenna to support Wenclair to become canon if it means her future male coworkers will be harassed? If it means any romantic partner who isn’t Emma in the future will be harassed? If it means that if she were indeed involved with Emma, that there would probably be a bigger explosion of porn that is shoved in their face?

How do they expect Jenna or Emma to support Wenclair if their families are being harassed about it?

Wenclair has been a curse upon them, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

[chobani-flip]

buddie goggles and why you might enjoy wearing them more if you acknowledge them

so yeah, i think the buddie goggles are a real issue. (ive had them too, fellow shippers, no judgment) like, is it possible that buck and eddie will at some point start a deeply fulfilling romantic relationship? yes. is it what's happening on screen right now and what the show is 100% suggesting is imminent? no. sorry, it's just not.

look, the thing with analysing and interpreting any text is that it's very much about finding things that the text is doing, what could be there, looking at it from different angles and choosing to focus on certain aspects: that's why you have feminist readings of X and queer readings of Y, etc

but if you go looking at a text with the intention of looking for authorial intent and secret messages the author is leaving that only you and the fandom can pick up on correctly? that's such a slippery, tricky slope.

consider:

simply communicating ideas face to face to one single other person can often end in misunderstandings

communicating ideas in writing?... well, we live in the pissing on the poor era of the internet, don't we.

like, how many times have you read/written something, looked at the comments and gone: but...that's not what's there? like, interesting that you see it, but also, i don't know where you got that from

see where I'm going with this?

there is so much that goes into the making of a tv show besides the script and actors' delivery that i am absolutely not an expert on: costumes, set dressing, blocking, lighting, editing, soundtrack...

taking any of those aspects and analysing it and looking for connections is my favourite thing to do and read about and...

ngl, watching the show and looking for buddie in all of them is so much fun. i love it, it's what got me into 911 in the first place.

but i promise you, the moment you stop acknowledging that that's what you're doing, that what you're doing is a Buddie reading of 911, and instead proclaim it as the one single truth? that's when you set yourself up for a wild and not always pleasant ride.

and this isn't about having or not having faith in the writers or buddie or the one they call tim, and honestly, it's kind of telling that the word "faith" is used so often.

it's about accepting that while watching a tv show, we're all putting ourselves in a position of observing the shadows of plato's cave with binoculars on a low-visibility day. (ok. that's a really pretentious twatty thing to say, but i'll leave it there because i think the image is funny. ) and no amount of media literacy is going to give you a clear insight into the minds and intentions of all of the people creating the show (can we please stop shouting at people to get "media literacy" if they disagree with our interpretation of a text, even if what they're saying sounds dumb)

now, i don't know if yall were here for the TJLC thing back then, and I am absolutely not saying that what the Sherlock show did and what 911 is doing is in any shape or form similar, however, on tumblr and amongst the fandom, the lead-up to season 4 and then the secret fourth episode fallout felt exactly like what some parts of the 911 fandom are doing now. so... just take care, friends. and don't be dicks to people who disagree with you over a ship.

[covertblizzard]

an analysis of nocturna as the human parallel to the night of gotham

(or rather, what she could have been)

she's raised by gotham essentially, and she's been on both sides of the gotham life, an orphan on the streets of gotham and the rich (and criminal) of gotham

she's hurt by the existing system in a sense, she got injured working in gotham observatory, i'm assuming some kind of state lab funded by wayne enterprise which is definitely one of the rich and powerful

she's simply not cruel enough to be the night of gotham, but perhaps that is a statement that it is not the night of gotham that is inherently cruel, but some of the people (in power) of gotham and their actions are what is the actual cruelty

she basically steals from the rich and technically, up to this point, her actions have limited harm to the poor. a lot of the rich aren't even reporting because what she's stolen wasn't worth the trouble of the spotlight of the news going to them. of course we know the nights of gotham are infinitely more dangerous to the poor and helpless than the rich and powerful, but i like imagining the implications that by staying in gotham, their investments actually aren't growing as much as they could have (nocturna steals from them but not enough to really hurt their pocket, gotham doesn't quite cause their investment to fail, but choosing to move elsewhere could potentially increase it)

i know jason is still jason circus-boy todd here, but let's set that aside, and just think of the idea that jason as a hopeful little child of gotham despite everything softens the night of gotham and brings her to her heel to stop her misdeeds. that gotham night's salvation is not in what power can bring her but in what she can do for herself in light of something kind and lovely and innocent to protect, to care, and to nurture.

in conclusion, i think gotham's rich and powerful should just leave and let the people take back the land and space and opportunities that is theirs and build back their own community in their own way (does this even make sense? i don't know. i'm just badly interpreting the storyline and i like to imagine the idea of people given the opportunity to grow and succeed and make something together on their own and not having some rich weirdo dictate "how i can help you improve". the end)

[pemberlyprose]

Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice - A Tangent

Let's talk about Louis. Actually, let's talk about this novel first. This book was so unnerving, disturbing, and unsettling in many ways. I find myself reflecting on it with melancholy and distress. Why? Why, of all the feelings this book gave me, am I left feeling emptier than satisfied? I find it a remarkable piece of literature for the way it parallels Louis's experiences and inner dimensions with the experience and dimensions of the reader.

For example, are we not also vampires feeding off his life? In a way, I think that is what's most interesting about the ending of Anne Rice's novel. Just like the reader, the boy interviewing Louis feels unsatisfied. Louis tells his life story not for entertainment, but I think for a semblance of compassion and understanding. Part of me feels this is his way of saying "Look at me. Am I no longer human? Am I more human than you? Do I exist as nothing and 'to nothingness do sink?'" (That's right, ya gurl is taking this opportunity to quote Keats and you can't stop me >:D )

It reminds me of Alan Turing in The Imitation Game:

"Now you judge, am I a man or a machine?" To which the policeman stares at him for a moment and says, "I cannot judge you." Alan Turing replies, "Then you are of no use to me."

(Paraphrased)

So, I keep asking myself: what was it Louis wanted to hear? What is it I might've said in the interviewer's place? Honestly, I don't know that I could have said anything. I certainly wouldn't have desired a vampires life after listening to his.

Anyway, I have deviated from my point which is how we are also vampires in a way. This unsettles me. The voyeurism that is inflicted (elected?) on the reader creates a dimensional association with the novel. Not only am I listening in on this story being told, but I am also imagining it as I choose, deconstructing it as it is built, and judging it as it laid before me. There are images, scenes, moments, that even Louis doesn't want to be part of that, as the reader, I am now conscious of in multiple facets.

He did not ask me to listen to his story, unlike the interviewer, and yet I am listening all the same. Would this have bothered Louis? Being watched, analyzed, and interpreted freely in this way? He's scrutinized by the same detached observer in us that he resents in himself as a vampire.

I think of the scene in the theater, where all those people are watching the young girl be tormented and murdered. I hate that scene, and yet, I kept reading. Like Louis, I couldn't take my eyes off the page. No matter how uncomfortable and disturbing it was to know the truth, to see behind the curtain of the play, I was still (in a confusing way) restricted to being an ignorant member of the audience.

I also think of Hamlet, and the power of plays inside a play, stories inside stories… they reflect us as readers in our poorest and strongest lights. I felt just as distorted and upset as Louis (well probably not AS MUCH but I could connect to his feelings in degrees) while that poor girl was killed.

Aren't I no better than a vampire, watching from my box and letting the pages turn as they will?

Of course, these are theoretical questions as I know full well, I can't jump into a book and beat up a room full of vampires for their demented games. I mean, Louis sets them all on fire, which is well deserved, I think. But what I'm getting at is the contemplations Louis faces throughout his life as a vampire are the same contemplations we face while experiencing its retelling.

If anything, I think the retelling of a story is more powerful than its first life, because it comes with the wisdom of hindsight and introspection. We get a certain amount of distance from those experiences because Louis protects us from their intensity. He is the shield, and the window, through which the tale is recounted. But that is painful for him, and he becomes more distanced from his humanity in doing so. Again, I see so many parallels to vampirism! Louis, through his story gives us a vampire's life, but first we must be drained to the point of death. We must be numb to all biases, objections, and fears of the human world to grasp vampirism in this way.

I have so many conflicting thoughts and feel frustrated by my inability to sort them and feel them. Louis… just…. Oh! That's one more thing. Louis is another "passive" character who lets bad things happen even though he knows it is wrong!

There is a trend in these novels-- philosophically inclined novels regarding humanity and what it means--- in which the protagonist possesses a strong moral code and awareness, but lacks the strength to oppose or stand up for it. For example: Dorian Grey, Adam (Frankenstein's monster),Yobo Ozo, Hamlet, the main character in Almond, Oliver Marks in If We Were Villians, etc.

These characters all suffer at the hands of a hedonistic/ mentally unstable counterpart who incite moral deconstruction via god complex. Louis possesses awareness and goodness but, like these characters, suffers because he is too afraid to challenge or oppose the things/people he loves who do not possess these things. The only sacred thing is knowledge. Which OH MY LANTA do not get me started on the value of knowledge in these books because hspdkfajsdlfjkasdfhasldkfjasd/a!!!

WHY? What is it about passivity, about the inability to stand, that makes these characters so prone to madness and, eventually, the loss of their character? Is passivity the true crime?? I wonder if the stories of these characters are meant to teach us the inevitability of "damnation" via the world or the fact that goodness is the only way to survive it's corruption?

Achk! I just fucking love literature. Anyway, these are my thoughts and feelings on the subject. I'm going to go stand dramatically at a cliffside and scan the ocean for answers now because I feel remarkably existential about all this <3

[hiswordsarekisses]

“We are so quick to assume the very best about our own motives and the very worst about others’.

(The first red flag of assumption is that it is followed by accusation. The reason this way of thinking will open us up to the devil, is because it is his behavior that we are mimicking when we assume and accuse. The devil is called the “accuser of the brethren.”)

Surely this is some of what the psalmist cried for in Psalm 139: “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”

Surely this is what Solomon wanted us to know when he said, “All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit.”

Love first assumes the best…

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7).

Love is always choosing to believe the best about other people rather than the worst.

It puts aside sinful cynicism to assume others are operating out of good motives instead of poor ones.

Love hopes all things by looking toward other believers with the sincere desire that they are operating out of the best of intentions and the hope that they will accomplish great things for the Lord.

And if 1 Corinthians 13 does not already do enough to call us to examine what we assume about others, we can turn as well to James 3:17–18 where we read that “the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

We can turn to the sobering words of 1 Corinthians 4:5: “Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.”

Here is what I conclude: It is sinful to assume bad motives;

And it is sinful to not assume good motives….

So when you see a post that jumps out at you, don’t immediately interpret it as saying something contentious or defensive.

When you read an article or see a video, choose to grant the grace of believing and hoping and bearing and enduring all things.

(And pray if you think they may be in error. You do not have to point out every error you think you see. God is very good at His job.)

Think of that person as a brother or sister in Christ and choose to look for the best possible ~ NOT the WORST possible, explanation.

Love calls us to assume the best RATHER than the worst.

Love calls us to regard them with hope RATHER than suspicion.

Out of love for God and our brothers and sisters, we ought to grant them the SAME MERCY, the SAME GRACE, and the SAME HOPE we grant ourselves.

~ excerpts from the writings of Tim Challies

[marquisedegramont]

I'm sorry to say this, but I think making Vincent someone who was born to legitimate wealth, and only got into the world of organized crime under the High Table as an adult, is kind of the least dramatic and least sympathetic interpretation. If he was born poor and underprivileged, and found crime to be his best route to the power and luxury he craved, that's both dramatic and sympathetic…if he was born to a rich crime family, that's maybe not quite as dramatic, but still sympathetic in that he might have preferred a more peaceful life as an art dealer or something, but was never allowed a choice. But if he already had wealth and privilege, but chose to go into crime because he craved more, that puts him in kind of an unsympathetic light. Just my opinion obviously but there it is.

What if I want to make him unsympathetic?🥺

On the serious note, as much as I really liked the headcanon that he came from an underprivileged and lower class background which is a headcanon brought on by both fans and Bill Skarsgård himself, people can have multiple interpretations to how they see characters and their backstories.

I just choose to make him unsympathetic because that’s how I personally see it. I always saw him as someone who’s ambition was dangerous for both himself and others, which was an idea mainly brought on by the last quote said to him by Harbinger (“A man’s ambition must not exceed his worth”).

Don’t get me wrong, I like villains to sympathize with, but to me the entirety of the John Wick villains are people who are either nurtured to be this way or they chose to be horrible people.

But to me, I really had the idea to make it hard for people to sympathize with him. You can write villains from rich and privileged backgrounds and still find a way to make an audience sympathize with them

[ahmedmootaz]

Good evening! As I was ubering to my house I had 2 questions that I think you'd be able to give good insight on.

If you had to kill a cast member in AiP (LC+LOR), who would it be and how would you execute it in your fic? I know we've had our close calls, but I do wonder how you'd handle having to get rid of a character, as I always find trouble on what to do with characters after they've had a journey.

What are some scrapped/ saved for other fics ideas you've had while creating in AiP?

Dear Anon,

Now that's quite the questions you've got there. I've given it a passing thought once or twice before, but now that you've asked, I've thought about it long and hard, so thank you for the fun thought exercise! Now, for the answers...

When it comes to a character I'd personally kill off, I'll be fully honest and admit that this probably comes back to my personal bias. I find it difficult to let go of characters which I like, so killing a member of the cast would probably need quite the strong and compelling narrative in order for me to follow-up such a task. In a way, the aftermath is the most important thing in such a scenario, not the death itself, as the interesting thing to read/analyse would be the reactions of those who have to grapple with the fact that someone they knew -and likely held dear- is no longer there. It's also a tough balance because I personally wouldn't want to always remind the readers about the passing of said character, but rather have the subtle yet permanent presence of their absence, if that makes any sense.

And with the AiP cast in particular, I'm not ashamed to say that I am quite attached to all of them, so choosing one to kill off is by no means an easy endeavour, but if I were forced to choose, I think I might cheat a little and go for X as my poor sacrificial lamb.

Now, the reasons for this choice are plentiful, seeing how X has a positive relationship with most of the cast, enjoys a long-enduring history with Ayin and Angela, and none of the Librarians think badly of him. By all means, I think that his absence can fulfil the sorts of reverberations in the plot that I think would justify his killing, where the knowledge of his absence is, in its own right, a silent presence that cannot be filled since he would be long gone.

As for how I'd go along with this idea, then I admit that I once entertained a little plot bunny about such a scenario. For me, I think that I'd either go for a sort of sacrificial death against a stronger foe, perhaps even the Distortion, during the inevitable re-confrontation with the City that Angela is planning, or I'd go with the hinted plot point of TMFoA where X has the ten year timer above him before his duration as a clone 'expires', as both situation offer a very interesting perspective to explore from the point of the view of X, someone who was mostly untouched by the vileness of the City thanks to his close presence to the Light and to the fact that his memory was constantly wiped, albeit imperfectly in my interpretation, which prevented him from succumbing to the City's cycle one way or another, even if it wasn't all that good for his health in the long run.

Regardless, what this presents us with is the first man "born" after the Light's release without any sort of lasting influence from the City beyond some ghostly sensations here and there, and thus in a sacrifice scenario, it would be a testament to humanity's lasting goodness in a way, seeing how even with so much to live for, X decided to give it all up for other people who likely wouldn't even know about him, not to mention if would be a good way to really harken how much the 'greater good' principles were drilled into him and offer an interesting monologue if such a scenario were to be written between X's desire to reject those notions that have chained him for millennia and his will to embrace them because he still wants to do the right thing despite how much the notion of 'the right thing' pained him.

And when it comes to the scenario of the 'slow withering' ending, if we were to call it that, it'd definitely be less climactic than the aforementioned potential sacrifice root, but it would also be very interesting to explore as a way of killing X off since there's always the chance of saving him one way or another during that decline, so it's almost guaranteed that he's the one who rejects being saved. It would present the dilemma of Angela's presumed immortality since it directly relates to her, seeing how a mere ten years was all it took for X to pass, and it would reverberate within her and cause a fear of losing the rest of the Librarians since she cannot age while they presumably do, and it would additionally put Tiphereth in the spotlight since she knows what it's like to have someone close to her who likely doesn't want to be saved, like how Enoch seemed so willing to 'shed his skin', as he put it. So this scenario would not only bring forth the immortality VS. letting life take its course arguments into the monologues and dialogues, but it would also relate to various characters involved, which would make the moment of the death the important part while the aftermath would be less critical to focus on in comparison because at that point, most would have come to terms with it since it was an expected and slow process for X.

And of course, by no means does this mean that I plan to kill off X anytime soon! I like him as much as everyone else, but it is very interesting to explore all of these options and analyse them if briefly, so once more, thank you for such a fun question!

2. Oh man, this is a good one. There are plenty of scenarios I've had in mind about other characters taking up the roles of the Trio of Idiocy as sorts of spin-offs that I thought about exploring at some point, such as a 'Adventures in Motherhood!' side-show with Angela, Gebura and Binah at the foray of the parenting experience instead of Ayin, X and Roland.

But when it comes to unimplemented ideas in AiP itself...I thought about adding a scene where Ayin and Roland make a little makeshift grave for Angela (and...Roland's child, since I assume that Argalia made sure that was also part of her puppet...) as a sort of apology to Roland for everything that has happened directly or indirectly thanks to him, however, I felt that such a scene didn't particularly work for AiP's atmosphere and would be better left for a more specific post-AiP extras segment or event one-shots detailing various events around the Library. I've also canned various different ideas for the "Slices of Life" Chapters, such as a more detailed cooking adventure with the kids, some more focus on X and his girls' history lessons, and I've thought about giving Gabriel some focus in a Chapter somehow, but I just didn't find anything that worked, so I tried compensating for that by involving him more than some of the others in the Sweeper Saga.

I've got to admit that I've had plenty of inspiration for other 'Fics while writing AiP, like exploring what-could-have-beens in certain spoilery situations, exploring more AUs like the 'Adventures in Motherhood' ones, etc...

Of course, if you want any detailed information or something of the sort, I would be happy to provide, but I don't want to bloat this answer too much otherwise.

Once again, thank you so very much for the interesting ask! I always like thought exercises like this, and I do hope that the responses pleased you! Until next time, stay safe, be well, and see ya'!

[vo09]

Personal thoughts (and ramblings) about Hans and “redemption”.

[Writing this because of a post another user made about this topic. Didn’t want to reply to OP directly with such a long rant because I end up talking about other stuff too and going off-track]

Personally, I like and fully accept (and love) the canon material we got for the character, the fact he did what he did on the first movie, the fact he turned out to have evil/selfish intentions all along and from the beginning... But because I feel and interpret him as a rather complex character ("more human-like" or “morally gray”, someone who can consciously and willingly choose to do good and real good, but also do bad and real bad), I still think he’s capable of getting a hypothetical "moral evolution/change" that could push him to –at least– recognize and admit his wrongdoings towards the sisters (wrongdoings that were not "simple mistakes" at all, since they were deliberate and conscious selfish actions).

Do I think he could've had a rough and sad upbringing? Yeah, absolutely, but I still think he chose to be selfish and did what he did for his own personal gain (which is what I think makes his character interesting), even if his past could "explain" and/or throw some light into why he chose this path, he knowingly still chose to do bad.

I think Hans is not the type of villain that has his core completely rotten and Evil™️ like, let's say Mother Gothel, who was totally selfish with her actions and you could tell she was happy and more than okay being that way, she couldn’t have changed no matter what. I think he falls in the middle of being like Ernesto de la Cruz –another selfish villain who did horrible stuff for his own benefit, but at the same time, also had his moments of doing good/being nice for “no reason at all” (like when he saved Miguel from drowning because, even if he did that to show off to everyone, he still acted immediately and did the right thing, although that doesn't turn him into a good person either or erases what he did to Hector and Miguel’s family, of course)– and maybe like a professor Robert Callaghan/Yokai type of villain, who also was completely selfish no matter how hurt he was or what "reasons" he though he had for doing what he did, but it’s canon that in the end he deeply regreted the pain he caused and recognizes his fault in Tadashi's death, apologizing sincerely to Hiro on the TV show (something that was done well because Hiro didn’t/couldn’t forgive him, which is something I’ll talk about later).

The only difference between Hans and these two villains is that, luckily for Hans, his plan backfired at last moment and he didn't end up murdering anyone like the other two (all thanks to Anna's sacrifice, who in some way not only saved Elsa, but also saved him from doing something like that). He has some kind of “second chance in life” to do better or reflect thanks to that (or thanks to poor Anna, to be more precise).

As many people have already pointed out about Frozen, the franchise never was about the simplistic “Good vs Evil” trope, the movie plays with the complexity of things and people, and I think that it’s fair to apply this fact about everything and everyone that made “Frozen” Frozen (including Hans). Don't know if that could count as a redemption arc in itself, but as I mentioned first, I like the idea of him going through a mentality change after reflecting (like Callaghan), even if that change doesn't grant him the sister's forgiveness in the end (which is totally fair and would make total sense).

[I'll go on a tangent here, but I'd like to get out my point of view on forgiveness]

To me forgiveness isn't something you ask for, but something you could be given to (or not) after apologizing. The people holding that power over their aggressor/abuser/bully (etc.) are not obliged to give it to them no matter the apologies they get from the person who caused them harm (and let’s be honest, I don't think anyone can easily forgive attempted/almost murder of a loved one, manipulation, lying, and all the stuff Hans willingly did to the sisters, and like I mentioned above, it was well executed with Hiro and Callaghan, it feels real and completely understandable). Apologizing is key for closure (in some cases/sometimes for the victim, but always for the perpetrator), and if you apologize to someone you’ve hurt, you do it because you’ve learnt and truly feel sorry for what you did, you do not expect absolutely anything in return, not even forgiveness, you're just sorry for what you did, that should be more than enough for you (but maybe not for the victim/s, and that's still okay and completely fair). To truly apologize you need to reflect, understand, and be willing to learn and change.

Personally, I don't usually agree with a lot of people’s ideas of redemption for Hans (after being in the fandom for years) because they usually either involve "unrelated heroic acts" that immediately grant him forgiveness (and I don't agree with that), or it involves some kind of romantic shipping that helps him "realize" what he did was wrong instead of being him the one who does the work (and personally and as someone who’s not into shipping, I'm really not into that either, specially because that shipping usually involves the people he hurt and that’s not my cup of tea, although I respect if anyone is into enemies to lovers, not trying to shame anyone here).

My main problem with this kind of redemption arcs is that they focus on the forgiveness part, making the victim/s the ones doing the work (as if Anna and Elsa owed him that or anything at all), instead of focusing on Hans’ accountability. An unrelated “New Good” doesn’t make a “Past Bad” go away. A new good action does not compensate a totally unrelated bad action done before, apologies and accountability can.

The important part of a redemption and the point/"lesson" of this trope should be the wrongdoer recognizing and feeling sincere shame for what they've done to their victim/s, the willingness to do better from now on and, at the very least (and hopefully) to apologize without expecting forgiveness or anything in return.

A story that calls itself "redemption arc" and only pushes the message of "we should learn to forgive" isn't a redemption arc, it's just a story that puts the moral responsibility on the victim/s while the aggressor doesn't learn anything (and simply gets the happy ending without putting any of the necessary effort).

[tokyogruel]

7 11 and 25 for the choose violence ask game GO RANCID 🔥🔥🔥

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

god. i hate him (/love him) for my own reasons too, but KIRISAKI SHIDOU. why? because he has the highest forgiven ratio despite doing fuck all to prove his innocence and actively hiding his sin- and people blindly trust this barely-doctor because they think 30 is old, a man who claims to have a family that looks like a carbon-clone-copy of HIMSELF must surely be a good person, and also- hes hot i guess. where did the media literacy and character analysis go for this motherfucker? you really are just gonna take him at his word, at the very surface, and dig no deeper?? what the fuck? hes hiding shit! hes scapegoating a fake family! he doesnt wear a wedding ring! WHO THE FUCK MARRIES SOMEONE AND HAS KIDS WITH THEM AND THEY ALL LOOK IDENTICAL TO YOU? i mean- harukas mom has brown hair, so does his (supposed) sister. muu's friends all look diverse and unique, mahirus boyfriend looks like mikoto A LITTLE BIT but its still very obvious he looks different from him. shidous family is all white hair light eyes and moles on their face. THATS JUST FUCKING SHIDOU AGAIN! ITS FAKE

"your lies hold no water" is an expression, his family literally evaporates into water, his cover songs are all about delusions and being a filthy fucking liar. CAN WE LIKE, ACTUALLY DIG DEEPER INTO HIM AND THINK FOR A SECOND? HES FAKE AS FUCK

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

1 and its literally niko mukuberrys "shidouhateposting" tag because i used to be like "omg my poor meowmeow nooo /sheds tear" until i realized niko was right about his ass, and then i forgot to remove it until i just checked my filters LOL.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

idr go into the main tag/my mutuals dont really complain about much so i dont have much to say about this one. but i guess i have some ones that irk me.

"omg why did yamanaka make mikoto a "scary" person with DID?" because you take everything at face value and dont look into the characters beyond the surface

"why do people even like muu, shes such a bitch!" because you take everything at face value and dont look into the characters beyond the surface

"why does everyone either interpret haruka as a soft uwu baby or a ruthless killer?" (hes neither btw, hes not a soft baby hes a dude with deep-seated trauma that makes him feel awful and regressed. hes not an evil bloodthirsty killer hes a dude with deep-seated trauma that makes it difficult to regulate his emotions, and he has nowhere to put his anger and fear when it eats away at him and he lashes out doing harmful things to try and pop that bubble)

also, because you take everything at face value and dont look into the characters beyond the surface

does anyone else smell a theme going on. d,oes anyone else smell burning toast

[shiroandblack]

I don't know if the 07-Ghost fandom is dead or alive, but it's still one of my favourite mangas to this day and I wanna talk about how love is both a blessing and a harbinger of doom in this manga. Let's start with Vanessa Antwort aka Chrom's legal wife and queen (because sadly, Millea Klein was a concubine because she was 'too lowborn' to be the Queen of Raggs).

We know that Vanessa was deeply in love with Chrom, but Chrom was deeply in love with Millea. However, Chrom also didn't treat her badly at all. When Ayanami said that she was granted the greatest consideration, aka having the political power as queen and also having Tiashe/Teito (considering in this era his name was Tiashe, I will be calling him Tiashe here) kept away from her sight, he was correct. While yes, this was definitely for Tiashe's safety because she absolutely did not look fondly upon him, but I think this was considered a concession to Vanessa because Tiashe is basically a living reminder that Vanessa will never be the 'first' in Chrom's eyes. Also I imagine it would be deeply humiliating for a queen, who has yet to have any children yet with the king, to have a concubine's child, who until she and the king have a child is the heir to the throne, be paraded in front of her. So yes, I agree with the notion that she was treated well in Raggs. Especially by Chrom, who despite not loving her the same way he loved Millea, held a degree of fondness or friendship for her and I think treated her with the respect and dignity her status as queen warranted. I think that in another world where Vanessa was not in love with Chrom, this whole political marriage might've worked out well.

Now, we all know Vanessa and Wolfram basically helped start the Raggs war which saw the Raggs kingdom destroyed and its people displaced simply because of . . . Unrequited love. Wolfram, the Emperor of Barsburg, was deeply in love with Millea (who was originally born in Barsburg) while Vanessa was deeply in love with Chrom. Don't get me wrong, these two were manipulated to the high heavens, however it's also important to remember that they did choose to do these things despite knowing it was objectively wrong. So many atrocities in 07-Ghost were done in the name of love, but so many wonderful things as well.

The first example I can think of is Castor and Lazette, who while not a romantic relationship (I don't interpret their relationship as romantic, however if you do then it's your prerogative) is still a relationship full of love. Castor, a young heir to an old and wealthy noble house, died for Lazette, a character whose very species is considered inferior to Castor, nevermind social status. And we see him being moved enough by the depth of Kuroyuri and Haruse's relationship (I'm sorry if I got his name wrong it has been years, it's Haruse right?) to give Haruse another chance at life, instead of the poor, half-life Ayanami was able to grant him. And Labrador's entire past was a tragedy, but he sacrificed himself for love as many characters have done.

Now, let's consider what is arguably one of the most important love stories in 07-Ghost. Verloren and Eve. Of which the entirety of the plot of 07-Ghost wouldn't have happened without them. Verloren and Eve loved one another and when Eve died, it all came apart. It's ironic that despite Verloren acting as if Eve was murdered unjustly, he is in fact her murderer. Her death was unfortunate and dare I say it, almost accidental. She fell back and Verloren touches her to catch her, and we know that as the god of death, his touch kills everything. And because of this, he is obsessed with finding her reincarnation on earth to the point he basically kills people just to see if their soul is truly Eve's and he reincarnates time and time again, just to continue his search for her. And we find out that it's basically all for nothing, because Eve has reincarnated as the light in every human's souls, as the goodness in their hearts. I personally think that it's very fitting that someone as warm and empathetic as Eve had basically become the manifestation of human kindness.

So yeah, I find it beautiful that 07-Ghost shows the duality of love. How love, while generally a positive emotion, can also lead to something terrible. The worst crimes in 07-Ghost are all done in the name of love.

[scalamore]

(Analysis) Lehan's bouquet

Ch 27 vs Ch 116. It looks too similar to be a coincidence. What's crazy is Lari put a lot of thought into making the bouquet in Ch 27 for Lehan. Yellow daffodils are his favorite flower, but she also paused at a freesia plant, which the florist explains is "a flower to represent cheering for a new beginning". Lari thought it was perfect, because she wanted to cheer him on on starting his education at the military academy. She chooses a brown ribbon to match his eyes - the color of their FAMILY/House Bellua. The bouquet in Ch 116 is the same: Brown ribbon, daffodils, some yellow flower that could be a random flower, but it looks close enough to be a freesia flower, and what appears to be a small blue hyacinth-type filler flower.

My interpretation of all this, is that by giving her these flowers, he wants her to remember HIM (his fav flower, his brown hair/eyes), and with the addition of the freesia, he wants their relationship to start from zero and start anew into lovers. After all, he's being so aggressive and proactive, visiting her with each break he gets, and showing up so often that there's no way she can ever forget about him. The SFX in Korean is "poog" which loosely translates to "hugging/embracing something soft and light". There's no good ENG equivalent, but its basically the sfx of a bouquet of flowers handed gently over to her. What is highly amusing is there is a heart emoji - yeah it is definitely a bouquet full of romantic intent. .. and Lari is not happy with that :(

Sfx here is an onomatopoeia that has multiple meanings: 1) when you squeeze something/press down on something/hold something tighly 2) enduring pain or suppressing one's emotions 3) being stuck in place Basically... with her expression, she's straight up upset and feeling burdened by Lehan's feelings. Whether her heart is tightening up or she's squeezing the flowers - either way, she's enduring his treatment of her right now. She doesn't want to see him, but she's helpless in kicking him out properly. Even if she's declining his gifts, he still pushes them all onto her despite her not wanting them. She doesn't like any of this: his treatment of her, him wanting to be a romantic interest when she only sees him as a stranger - and before that as a precious younger brother - him trying to court her and touch her... she's very upset but can't do anything if he's that pushy :((((( Poor Lari :((((

[bijoumikhawal]

Drew a growth and development for Cardassians chart!

Cardassians are born with stripes and countershading, which started as an evolutionary adaption to protect them. Calling someone "striped" in Kardasi still carries a connotation of being young, foolish, etc. This is enforced by children's clothes traditionally being modified for continuous wear by being loose and adding strips of fabric to the the sleeves and hems until about 9, when children begin to wear clothes similar to that of adults. The pigmentation of these striped scales is a purple-brown iridescence that fades as Cardassians age, but still retains some presence (if you pay attention the dappled scales on their upper backs have a bit of purple and green in, which I choose to interpret as iridescence). Some Cardassians also have speckling or dappling patterns, usually in addition to stripes; these cluster with geographic/ancestral origin and are a normal variation.

When I refer to ridge development, I not only mean formation of scales (one baby Cardassian we see in show only has ridges over the eyebrows, not yet reaching the cheeks) but the filling out as well. The medial ridge and shoulder ridges form in the womb, but are flat until around age 9. Traditionally the growth spurt and filling of scales occurs earlier than the development of sexual characteristics (which corellate to the age of emergence, about 15 or 16), but as food access improves the latter event tends to occur earlier. The protective scaling on the outer thighs and knees is present from birth, but the individual scales are smaller and softer, hardening and growing larger in their teen years.

If you've read my notes on Hebitians I mention there's an assumption that Hebitians are short, and that it's more an issue that post-Union, Hebitians tend to be poor and have had less access to nutrition, and height corellates more with that. The jump here for the growth spurt associated with their "first season" (Cardassian term is kashmim and doesn't quite translate to season) helps give an idea of how much that matters for Cardassians-as-a-species compared to other species. This height differential doesn't really exist during the show on Cardassia, as around the time the Occupation of Bajor began, the Detapa council instituted a series of food subsidies keeping certain basic food items at a stable price over the past several decades, and changed tack in its approach to poverty and homelessness, especially with regard to children (obviously, this wasn't a net good in the case of the latter, with the experiences of those who received this type of aid being a driving factor in the dissident movement).

They start out comparatively so much smaller as an evolutionary trade off so there's a longer pregnancy, making sure they're more developed without causing every Cardassian that's ever given birth to need a c-section. An infant Cardassian is much more mobile than that of a species with a comparable adult size. However, they don't have any faster linguistic development or socialization- the trade off that meant your kid was less likely to get eaten by another apex predator now means having an extended family or the money to hire a nanny is necessary for any new parents mental stability and overall health.

The jump in height is taxing, and historically some schools have structured the curriculum to be very light around age 9, either only having half day classes or reducing the days attended. On Cardassia as it is around DS9, curriculum is structured for half days for 3 dleiha, equivalent to 360 days (Cardassian "school years" are 195 days with a 36 day break, not counting holidays or "weekly" rest days). It's characterized by excessive shedding, more sleeping, more eating, muscle cramps and aches, and bruising from the growth spurts. Around this time kids basically lay around the house with a humidifier, or take frequent trips to the sauna, and hide under a heated blanket. After this age male Cardassians are expected to remove the hair from the tips of their tails; keeping it is associated with femininity. Cardassians overall look similar regardless of sex; Cardassians idealize women being broader chested and hipped, and a bit shorter than men.

[the-babygirl-polls]

Kelthur - AFK Arena

Propaganda:

sad little guy who was ostracized for being a bastard child, framed for his father's murder by his abusive stepfamily, unjustly executed, and then resurrected as an undead assassin so he could get his revenge. such an interesting character who deserved so much better than the piss-poor character development canon gives him </3 also im choosing to interpret the fact that he's sensitive to light as him being autistic-coded and having sensory issues idc if it's not actually canon

[kirayaykimura]

This was partially written because I think Lili is wild enough to believe practice kissing is a good idea and partially because @sabraeal and I have spoken at length about a jealous Soo-Won and I thought, “Yeah, those two things will pair nicely.”

Soo-Won was engrossed in whatever he was reading at the moment and Lili was bored. So bored. The most bored she’d ever been in her life. Actually, she took that back. Nothing would ever be worse than the hours spent learning how to be a proper lady. At least with this boredom, she could lay flat on the ground in Soo-Won’s office, place the book she’d been reading over her face, and announce, “I’m so bored!” 

If she’d done that around her teacher, Eun-Bi, she would have been poked with a walking stick and forced to practice calligraphy until her fingers cramped and she could barely see straight. Soo-Won, however, simply hummed disinterestedly. 

“Entertain me,” she demanded.

“And how would you like me to go about doing that?” he asked. 

He obviously expected her to give up on her request. It was raining heavily, a rarity in the Sky Tribe that had forced them indoors hours earlier and had yet to let up, meaning a walk around the castle grounds was out of the question. The problem wasn’t either of them getting wet; it was more that everyone would fuss about them getting dirty or, worse, sick, and Lili didn’t feel like dealing with all that. If she asked Soo-Won to tell her a story, he’d just read whatever dry text he currently had open aloud. She knew this because it had happened multiple times. She knew the strangest tidbits about foreign economic relations. 

Lili groaned, directionlessly dissatisfied with her life and hoping her vague vocal displeasure would lead to Soo-Won having a good idea. Soo-Won ignored her. 

It was tragic, really, her life. Someone should write her story. It would certainly be more interesting and much sadder than the story she was currently reading, in which a woman falls in love with a man but they can’t be together because he lives on a remote island and she is too poor to afford the ferry to visit him. The fifth time the woman said, “Would that we could be together for every sunrise!” Lili got annoyed and gave up on the novel. Thus, her current state of using it as a mask instead of reading the words on the page. Just be together or don’t. She didn’t understand why she had to suffer terrible prose for a problem that could easily be solved via theft. 

“Have you ever tried kissing?” Lili asked. 

She’d stopped reading just as the two main characters were about to kiss - though they would almost certainly be torn apart at the last second just like all the other almost moments so far - and all she felt was over it. But there must be something she was missing, right? It was in every book Tetora recommended, and even some she’d found on her own. There had to be something to it if it was all anyone could talk about. And if he wasn’t going to offer up any entertainment himself, she was going to choose this as their topic of conversation. 

There was a pause before Soo-Won said, voice light with just a hint of nervous laughter, “Pardon?”

Lili sat up, letting the book fall from her face to land gracelessly on her lap. “Kissing. Have you ever done it?” 

“I, uh-” Soo-Won said, “no?” 

His smile did not look comfortable. The tilt of his eyebrows was all wrong. Plus, there was the fact that he was smiling at all. The most she’d ever seen from him was a small quirk of the lips that she had interpreted as fond, and that hadn’t even been directed at another person. It had been to a cat who let him rub her belly for ten whole seconds before wriggling up off her back and out into the gardens again. Over the months spent with him, she’d learned that he only ever smiled when he was either faking hospitality or trying to politely redirect someone’s energies. This, of course, just made her want to pursue the topic even harder. 

“Have you ever wanted to?” Lili asked. 

“Oh, maybe,” he said. “When the time is right. At the moment, I have other things-“

“You can stop lying,” Lili said, cutting him off. She didn’t know if it was amusing or insulting that he thought she couldn’t tell he was lying through his teeth. “I don’t think I really want to, either, but other people seem really interested in it. I wondered why.” 

“Oh,” Soo-Won said. He instantly relaxed, shoulders falling away from where they’d crept upwards and mouth smoothing out to something more thoughtful. It was quite the transformation. 

“Wait,” she said before he could comment on her curiosity, “why do you look so relaxed now?” 

“What’s that?” he asked evasively. 

“You were really freaked out just now. What was that about?” 

“Nothing at all!” He gave another fake laugh that Lili refused to dignify. She simply crossed her arms in front of her chest and waited for him to fess up.

Sensing it was a lost cause, he gave an inaudible sigh, then said, “I thought you were going to ask me to do it.” 

“Do what?” 

She watched, delighted, as a blush spread across his soft, delicate cheeks. She had no idea why her question had inspired such a reaction, but it was always a good day when she could mortify the man to this point. 

“Kiss you,” he forced out. 

What? It took her a moment to piece together the broken fragments of his side of the conversation, but when they clicked, she asked, “You thought I was asking you to kiss me?” and then fell over with the force of her laughter. 

“Okay,” he said softly. 

“That’s hilarious,” she said, still very much laughing. “Why would I ever-“

Hold on. Pause. She sat up, abruptly serious, and said, “That’s not a bad idea.” 

“Oh no,” was all Soo-Won said. 

“You should kiss me.”

“I really shouldn’t.” 

“We’ll finally get to see what all the fuss is about,” she said, ignoring him. “At the very least, we’ll get some practice enduring it, I guess, for people we actually like.” 

“No,” he said. 

She groaned, but his refusal wasn’t surprising. He really, obviously didn’t want to kiss her if the earlier part of their conversation was anything to go by. That was fine, though. She didn’t really want to kiss him either. She just needed someone.

She stood, tossed her abandoned book on a nearby table, and said, “Fine. I’ll go see what Ju-Do’s doing.” 

“Ju-Do?” Soo-Won asked. 

“Sure.” Lili shrugged. “He’s single.” Plus, they might yell at each other for a little bit and it was always fun to rile up Soo-Won’s staff. 

“You’re going to ask Ju-Do to kiss you,” Soo-Won said. 

“Yep,” Lili said. Then, “See ya.” 

She made it about four steps before a hand caught her elbow. Soo-Won turned her back towards him and cupped her jaw with his free hand. She just barely registered that palm wasn’t as soft as she’d expected before he kissed her. 

Oh. 

Huh. 

So this was what it was like. 

It wasn’t unpleasant, she supposed. It wasn’t much of anything at the moment. Just a boy pressing his face close to hers. Though it wasn’t what she had planned, and though that plan had been formed less than five minutes ago, she’d be damned if she was going to let this opportunity pass her by without trying to get some sort of reaction. She moved her lips against his as he moved his hand from her elbow to her lower back, pulling her in closer and tilting her head just so and oh. 

This was what it was like?

Well, hot damn. It seemed everyone was on to something after all. 

Eventually, after an untold number of exploratory kisses, Soo-Won pulled back far enough for their lips to disconnect. Lili blinked her eyes open to a world in which she knew what kissing felt like and knew Soo-Won was kind of good at it. It was unfair that he’d picked it up quickly enough to give her goosebumps, and she would have been more upset if she had been thinking about anything other than how to get his mouth back on hers immediately right now. 

“Don’t go to Ju-Do,” Soo-Won said. 

She stared up at him, then asked, “Who?” two seconds before she registered what he was talking about. 

His lips quirked upward in a small, rare, real smile. It was probably a good thing that he didn’t really smile at anyone because that thing was dangerous. Her heart gave a painful thump in her chest knowing that smile was meant for her, not some random cat that had wandered into his path. If it made him smile at her like that, she’d never remember Ju-Do again. It wouldn’t be much of a loss, anyway. He wasn’t old enough to interest her. 

He stroked his thumb across her cheek, grounding her in the moment, and said, “Don’t ask Ju-Do to kiss you.” 

“I’ll do whatever I want,” she said. It was a token protest at best, and they both knew it. “But you did a very thorough job of it, so I don’t need to ask anyone else for now.” She punctuated her statement with a friendly punch to his arm that she had never attempted before and never would again. 

He glanced down at where she’d struck him, amused, before finally letting her go. The loss of his warmth as he stepped back made her goosebumps return for less pleasurable reasons. It was embarrassing how needy she was being at the moment. Over a boy who was obviously unaffected by all this. Over Soo-Won. Unacceptable. She dusted off her pride, raised her chin, and said, “Good work today.” 

“You as well,” he said, clearly trying not to laugh at her. 

They were saved from any more awkwardness by two short knocks on the door and Kye-Sook letting himself into the room. He spared her a brief, disdainful glance before focusing on the person he’d actually come for. 

“Your majesty, you are needed in the library,” Kye-Sook said. 

“Right now?” Soo-Won asked. 

“Yes, sir. Immediately.” 

“Would you excuse me?” he asked Lili. 

She waved a hand. “Go.”

“Lady Lili, you cannot-” Kye-Sook started. 

“I’m not going to stay here,” she said.

It was an argument they’d had many times before. She wasn’t allowed to stay in Soo-Won’s office without him because he was afraid she would snoop, which was funny because, one, she already knew the big secrets and, two, Soo-Won routinely let her poke around when he was in the room. Nothing had ever been made off-limits. He obviously hadn’t realized that because he was still enforcing the rule that she left when he did. Just like he hadn’t realized what she’d been doing with his precious king moments ago. His eyes narrowed slightly at her smug grin, confused by the departure from her normally annoyed reaction.  

“Have fun at your meeting or whatever,” Lili told Soo-Won. Then, because Kye-Sook was watching, because she still wanted to, she stepped back into his space, rose up on her toes, and pulled his face down to meet hers for a brief goodbye kiss. 

She left two stunned men in her wake, which was, frankly, her favorite way to exit a room. If she never got to kiss Soo-Won again, at least she went out on top.