#clearly i need to think about [redacted] more

[royalvelvette]

Carmilla 3 99

Clara 2 107

Odette 4 82

Zestial 1 198

Carmilla, 3 (G) & 99

Carmilla gets embarrassed by public displays of affection really easily!

Clara, 2 (F) & 107 73

Clara is terrified of the Radio Demon, or at least the stories she's heard about him.

Odette, 4 (H) & 82

Odette chews on her sleeves when deep in thought.

Zestial 1 (E) & 198

Can use modern English and slang completely fluently/proficiently and is waiting for the perfect time to show it.

[kavehater]

AAAH I have a mutual who’s 18 and he sorta kinda is flirting with this one guy who is a minor as a joke of course ( to which a concerned anon said that it’s weird ) but I can’t help but flashback to er*s

[pepprs]

tfw im taking a day off of work today (my first day off since december 😍😍😍😍) and got absolutely shit sleep w fucked up dreams i kept waking up from and just woke up to a text about the stupid fucking book chapter asking me to do one more read through of it as if i haven’t done like 5 in theladt 3 days (and by all appearances been the ONLY one doing so lol)

[dognonsense]

help tiktok kids want to try come at you with a seam ripper at shows for wearing an anti swastika patch.

[video description: begins with a tiktok of a young person holding a seam ripper. video transcription: why would i need to bring a seam ripper to a concert? So that if you see someone with a crossed out swastika on their jacket, you can rip it off. video description: Then a stitch video of a new speaker who is using a filter that makes them look like a face on a lemon. Video transcription: TikTok is the only place that I've seen anyone saying that they don't want Anti-Swas on the scene. I have only seen this on TikTok. The majority of the people I see sharing the sentiment are young, or, they are people who are clearly not in the punk scene. Sorry! Gonna have to call you out a little bit, but you know what? Calling people out? Especially posers? Is a time-honored tradition in our community, so, get used to it!

Anti-Swas is not as commonly misunderstood to be something that came into the scene to show Jewish punks that they're safe. It came into the scene to show white "mm" (representing redaction of supremacist) and Neo-"mm" (Nazis) that they are not safe in that crowd, in that group, in that event. That is why it's worn. And the people who wear that symbology, in my scene, historically, they wear it because they are about that. Meaning that they are going to enforce. That those individuals are not welcome.

I am a punk of Jewish heritage, I wear the symbols. The Anti-Swas. I have a shirt with a huge one on the front, I love wearing it. Patches, buttons, I love it. It makes me feel proud and happy. So let me tell you if you come at me and you rip a patch off of me, or a button off of me, with that symbology I am immediately going to assume that you are a white "mm" or a Neo-"mm" and I'm gonna hand your butt to you. Very quickly. And as hard as possible. I am going to focus all of my rage on that entire subgroup onto your face. So im gonna have to break it to you to break it to you! And also if you do it with a seam ripper which is like, the fuck? A seam ripper? Don't come to a scene with a seam ripper, that is so bizarre, you can't even rip a patch off with your bare hands? And you bring a seam ripper- (laughing). But anyways, when I realize it's a seam ripper and not a small weapon, I'm going to mock you mercilessly as I beat you.

White "mm" and Neo-"mm" would like nothing more than for us to get rid of that symbology. 'Cause then they blend in better. And then they can say that they're welcome. Or they can argue that. And we don't like leaving room for them to argue. Not in my scene. Also, getting rid of the Anti-Swas symbology is a little ableist, don't you think? A lot of white "mm" and Neo-"mm" can't read. End video transcription]

i understand why people dont agree or feel comfortable with anti swastika patches, but i want to allow this jewish person to say their opinion on the matter. They personally like it and think its effective at keeping nazi fucks out of the scene and are very proud to wear it out

just the mental image of a small lil tiktok kid approaching a guy in the pit like uwu lemme seam rip off ur patch for u

[aimedis]

redacted asmr hcs pt.8 - shaw pack edition

-milo and asher have had a super complicated handshake since high school (tried to teach it to david but he was not having it)

-milo and sweetheart are the type to bully kids on roblox 

-sam and darlin’ will start giggling to each other about literally nothing (milo and sweetheart as well) 

-sweetheart and milo insult and fight with each other all day (the first time the pack heard sweetheart call him a bitch and milo just laughed, they all freaked out because milo never takes insults from people) ((milo and sweetheart swing at each other even while sweetheart’s cloaked and they giggle the whole time)) (((milo: “don’t even try it, you brat. i’ll beat your ass”)))

-angel is one of the smartest in the pack (sometimes smarter than david in certain areas) ((during pack trivia they beat him for first place and he glared at them for all of ten seconds))

-angel gets progressively more irritable the more hungry or tired they are (like a toddler) and david points it out because he thinks it’s cute (angel: “can you like shut up? you’re starting to piss me off” david, smirking in amusement: “I think you’re just hungry” angel: “say that to me again and you lose your head”) 

-angel has anger issues (more like easily irritated) it just takes a lot for them to show it

-sometimes for date night, asher and baabe just put on comfy socks and clothes and make pillow forts to sit in while they watch crappy tv shows to giggle at

-milo and sweetheart are horribly possessive when it comes to anyone outside of the pack and sometimes even within the pack (not in a toxic way) ((milo: “touch them again and i’ll rip your hand off” / sweetheart: “unless you want your entire upper body to go invisible for the rest of the night, get your hands off of my mate”))

-asher spends the entire summer solstice pouting and whining into baabe’s chest while they rub his back and occasionally give him little massages where it hurts

-david covers angel’s face for them when they yawn in public (he also does it when they make questionable faces or if they start crying around other people, he’ll cover their face for them) ((he does it so often that angel doesn’t think to do those things on their own anymore when david’s not around)) 

-sam and darlin’ play the “that’s a body”/“that’s cheating” game with things they’ve very well done

-in shifter culture, wolves pressing their foreheads together is a very intimate but casual show of affection and it really means a lot when shifters do it to a non-shifter (most shaw wolves have done it to the non-shifter mates at this point) 

-darlin’ loves sam’s hands on their face (they close their eyes and lean heavily against him) 

-asher and baabe are literally johnny and mavis 

-darlin’ has learned to lean on sam (metaphorically and literally) they take the hand he offers when they need it to keep balance when with anyone else they would’ve denied it ((the wolf bois were understandably shocked))

-david hates straight black coffee but he insists on drinking/making/ordering it all the time. angel on the other hand proudly drinks their sugary milky coffee and david steals sips from it all the time (claims it tastes better coming from them so they don’t bother getting him their regular) 

-darlin’ cracks all the crackable bones in their body (back, fingers, neck, ankles etc.) and it drives sam insane because he can hear it so clearly

-when milo was younger, marie would run her finger between milo’s eyebrows and down his nose to remind him to relax whenever he made a face so he didn’t get a line on his forehead (she still does it and she does it to sweetheart as well) 

-david can tell when angel is in a bad mood within seconds, he can just feel it without even seeing them (he'll randomly text them "are you okay?" and they're like "how did you-")

-milo gets really cold on the summer solstice and sweetheart gets really hot (milo clings onto sweetheart the whole day and sweetheart let’s him no matter how sweaty and agitated they are) ((fanfic idea??))

-darlin’ gets mad when they’re bored 

-darlin’ is really really good at pretending things don’t hurt (physically or emotionally) 

-whenever david gets really angry at darlin', he starts acting like them (they are so siblings)

-david thrives off of knowing how flustered he makes angel with no effort (he looks into their eyes for a second too long and their face flushes/they smile nervously and turn away)

-angel being an angry jealous and asher being a pouty jealous (rarely) 

-despite being a wolf, asher sneezes like a kitten. david's sneezes are a nuclear bomb

-david and asher being childhood best friends, have had their fair share of arguments but one of the big ones was surprisingly, not during the period of gabe's death but almost immediately after they both got off their honeymoons. they had a pretty bad argument that milo and darlin' somehow got roped into (they weren't ganging up on one or two people really, it was a free for all) -the argument was bad but because they're all as close as they are, it wasn't tense afterwards

-david and milo bicker quite often, as do sam and sweetheart

[cowboylor]

hotline

you call matty when you're bored.

warnings: (18+) smut, mutual masturbation, phone sex (kind of?), degradation, oral (f. receiving)

wc: 1k

note: i completely blame this on me seeing the 1975 last week and being consumed in a brainrot over [REDACTED]. anywho this wasn’t the larger work i’m working on just a a sweet, totally chaste blurb of our good ole pal matty.

"Hello?"

His voice is worried. You've never called this late before. Even in the past when you were out with friends and just couldn't wait to tell him just how jaw-droppingly fit you found him. Or when you've missed your routine phone call while he's on tour and call him back hours later with a rushed apology and an eager inquiry about his day.

Those were late; but never this late.

"Hi," You say.

It comes out pitchy and you screw your eyes shut at the way you sound. Like you're clearly out of breath and heaving against your mattress. Like you're struggling to hold your phone up to your ear as your hand wanders below your panty line. Like you're completely, utterly desperate for him because let’s face it—

You've got it bad.

Matty pauses. "Everything alright?"

"Oh yeah," You say quickly. Shifting against the bed, you move to sit up against the frame. "Everything's fine, just... Miss you is all."

"Miss me," He repeats your words in tut, his voice sounding relieved when hearing nothing is wrong. You hear him shift (wherever he is--in his hotel bed or maybe on the couch). "Why's that?"

You tuck your lip between your teeth as your fingertips pry at your folds.

"Can't I miss my boyfriend?"

He hums over the line. "Of course, of course."

"It's just been a while."

A while since a lot of things. A while since your last phone call. A while since you've seen him ever since he left for New York. A while since he's fucked you if you’re mentioning the obvious.

He goes quiet on the other line and your hand slows.

"Darling."

You wince, your fingers returning to your clit. "Yes?"

"Are you playing with yourself?"

You snap your hand away like you've been burned. Your mouth falls open and you can practically hear his amused grin through the phone.

"No." You hiss, face burning.

You glance down.

He chuckles at your insistence. "Are you sure?"

He can read you like a book.

"Positive."

In more ways than one.

"Not rubbing your clit?" He asks, his voice lowering.

A whine escapes you and you know you're in for it.

You dip a finger into your underwear again, swiping at your bundles of nerves experimentally. Stifling another whine, you lean your head back against the headboard.

"Darling," He breathes out. You perk up at the change in octave; listening closely to hear the buckle of his belt clank and his quiet exhale. "Are you lying to me?"

Rolling your eyes back as you toy with your clit, you sigh into the speaker: "Do you think I am?"

"No," Matty huffs a laugh. You can hear him fumble with the buttons of his pants. "My girl would never act like that."

Your mind grows fuzzy and all you can think of is his voice and how it sounds reverberating through your phone—how it would sound when he's hovered over you, how it would sound when he's buried between your thighs.

Because you’re not a stranger to that sound. Not unfamiliar with the way he holds your legs apart while lapping at your core. With the way he needs to keep your thighs in place or else you’d be squirming against his mouth both drawn in and out from all the sensations you’re feeling.

(“You’re so sensitive,” He’d say, groaning into your cunt. “Even before you come you’re twitching and whining—like you're in fucking heat or something.”)

“Like–” Your eyelids feel heavier as you draw out sharp, tight circles. “Like what?”

He hums. “Like a whore.”

Heat pools and you meet the warmth with the pad of your fingertip.

You swallow roughly, relishing in the sound of his breathy groan as you imagine him also touching himself. Also getting himself worked up to the point where his thighs shake and his fingers threaten to pull away.

“‘m not a whore," You defend through bitten lips.

Prying yourself open with one finger, your timid touches become erratic. Less controlled and more sloppy with every flick of your fingertip, rhythm becomes a thing of the past.

“No?” He chuckles, “Just like getting off to your boyfriend's voice while you’re fucking yourself?”

You’re already warm in the face; you don’t give Matty the pleasure of pretending to be embarrassed. You’re too close for that.

“Matty,” You breathe out, wanting to be done with the game.

“Yes, darling?”

If he wants to draw it out of you fine.

You wince as you draw sloppy figure-eights. “I want to finish.”

Which goes against what you usually want from Matty. Usually you’re shifting against him, urging him to slow down because you want to let it linger—almost dreading the idea of finishing and it being over.

(“I can’t,” You’d murmur, eyelids fluttering—clenching your stomach in an effort to hold off coming.

“You can.” His voice would turn stern and you’d feel another thump of heat radiate throughout your body. “Just let it happen, darling. Let me take you there.”)

Matty feigns mock surprise. “And here I was thinking we were having a heart-to-heart.”

“Don’t patronize,” You furrow your brows, halting your movements.

“I’m not some sex hotline, you know,” He tuts, his voice gravelly as he shifts around in the background. “To fulfill all your carnal urges.”

You blink. “I'll hang up.”

He doesn't miss a beat. “Well, hold on.”

You smile and you’ve got him.

"'m sorry," He says, sounding like he's closer to the phone. It makes shivers run down your body hearing him like this—tucked up in your neck while your fingers hover over your core. It's too much and not nearly enough at the same time. "Let me make it up to you."

Pretending to think about it, you click your tongue, "How?"

"Tell me how wet you are."

[queenie-the-court-jester]

Ok I was seeing all The Farm headcanons again (No joke your talent for this Is amazing), and I love how all of The animals dont have any kind of respect for The reader with The constant insinuatons. But how you Think that they would react with The Reader being MAD?, AND i dont mean a bit angry, I mean Totally Hatefull. Like Brutus ir Cotton try to talk The reader AND just One Stare Is needed to send their asses to The other sise of The farm, I can imagine The dogs whimping of fear AND The Cats Hiding from The rage of their Darling.

Anyway Congratulayions for your first 100 followers.

-👍

thank you I'm over 200 now 💋

Princess: DARLING! OH WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? YOU'VE LEFT YOUR POOR PRINCESS ALL BY HERSELF-

y/n: stares

Princess: d-darling..?

Boss music starts playing

Princess: DARLING!?

Y/n: come one step closer I'll be mounting your head on the wall mutt.

Brutus: ...>:))

Threatening was unaffective, now you must use violence

Miguel: bet I can be a better boyfriend than-

Y/n: walks away

Miguel: hey!? Where are you going!? Come back-!

Maya: anyways like-

casper fucking snatches y/n

Maya:..NOO GIVE THEM BACK! GIVE THEM BACK. THEY'RE MINE-

Bubba: if I hear one more-

Y/n: let me do it for you-

Bubba: SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU IMBECILE

Molly: have you ever wondered what happens when we all die

Y/n: why are you like this.

Riley: you're telling me a shrimp fried this rice!?

Mimi: oh my god that joke IS SO FUCKING OLD.

Maxine: exists

Y/n: k!ll yourself asshole.

Maxine: that's not what you said last night lapin~

Y/n: can you stop talking about among us Damien, it's hard enough having to carry your baby

[REDACTED]: I thought you liked it when I talked..

Y/n: whatever gave you that idea.

Benny: excuse me sir! Have you seen my partner!? They're about this tall, clearly stupid but somehow still passes their classes!?

[bioethicists]

responding to this with my shitty redaction because i'm not comfortable posting obvious bait with people's names in them (particularly dead names) but i just wanted to point out the ways in which this ask is prototypical bait written to purposefully generate drama or controversy (idk if this is in a kiwifarms trolling with right wing motives sense or an 'i love drama' person) by trying to appeal to online leftist culture/the fear of being 'problematic'. i see ppl fall for this constantly + i need people to start learning to recognize the signs instead of either engaging or using this as evidence that leftists are stupid/petty/hypocritical (which many of us are, but in much less amusing ways, unfortunately)

the implication that there is a single founder of the "neurodiversity movement" + that evoking this movement at all (which i don't do + i think it's actually pretty evident that my politics are distinct from the much more bioessentialist politics of those who prefer that term, which is part of what led me to conclude that this is a copypasta) is supporting the founder. tracing a broad social concept to a single individual, then disparaging that individual as morally unsound (by evoking other explosive, petty pieces of discourse, like baeddalism + transandrophobia) in order to provoke doubt, fear or anger. demonstrates a hope that leftists will flinch away from anything associated with anyone 'problematic' without applying any critical thinking.

misrepresenting complex events (or fabricating them entirely- idk if these things happened + i simply couldn't care enough to find out) in a way that hits the pressure points of performative activism (she's being mean to an autistic person! other people of color agree with me! this other person is anti physically disabled people!) while also betraying reactionary opinions through language use/implications (claiming to care about 'transandrophobia' yet deadnaming someone? claiming to care about specific events at specific autism conferences but using terms like "severely autistic"? saying you have spoken to "Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, American Indians" lmao did you type this out based on census checkboxes from the 70s?). the author of this ask is clearly not a member of the activist communities they claim to be from because they accidentally slip into the speech conventions + opinions of a kiwifarms/4chan loser who does a lot of hatereading. this one did a good job of hitting the bingo card of divisive intracommunity issues rn- great research skills, bud! put them to better use <3

reframing reactionary beliefs using leftist concepts. this works because many of us do not have a foundational politic outside of "well, i want to be good, so I'm going to support the things that other people i trust say are good". which doesn't make you bad (there is no good or bad! learn this now + quick, if you really want to play a part in building a better world) but it makes you easy to manipulate + unlikely to be capable of meaningful change. notice that the claims this ask is asserting are, at their core, "people make up microaggressions to cause problems when really they could easily suck it up" + "people fake disabilities and being trans for attention". these are reactionary concerns, no matter how artfully they are dressed in social justice language. kiwifarms in particular was very, very good at this- they loved finding the people they stalked to be racist, homophobic, ableist, etc, not because they thought those things were wrong (it was their hobby to be these things!) but because they delighted in identifying hypocrisy, stirring up drama, + destroying people's reputations.

this is hard to explain bcuz i blacked out the names, but if you have a passing familiarity with fascist/reactionary online spaces, particularly the history of kiwifarms, you will know that reactionaries have their own 'pet leftists', just like we have our 'pet fascists' (shapiro, alex jones, tucker carlson, etc). that is, ppl they obsessively follow, harass, + scrutinize + come to believe are representative of everything that we believe. these ppl are rarely ppl who are actually prominent in our online spaces but online reactionaries often believe we are just as obsessed with these people as they are, but as unquestioned paragons of virtue + brilliance. namedropping these ppl is often an accidental tip of the hat, particularly when the ppl aren't on tumblr, haven't been a topic of community discussion for quite some time, or run in a different circle than us (reactionaries don't understand that there are actually thousands of leftist social groups which have very little overlap with some others- pronouns in bio does not mean someone knows or cares about contrapoints, for instance)

tl;dr this ask is a fantastic example of the rhetorical features bait that someone might actually take seriously.

[chronicsyd]

Actually, I’ve got a few redactions + Add on's about the long ass post on the S2 trailer I made a couple weeks ago.

So while I still think Vi painted the gauntlets black to disguise herself, I’m thinking the fight with Warwick damages them again because when Vi’s with Ekko here, they are different than how they first appeared. So Ekko and Heimerdinger could repair them before fighting Ambessa, also it would partially explain why he's here fighting with her at all (so to the anon that asked, yes i do agree that Ekko/Heimerdinger probably fixed them)

I’ve been seeing posts about Jinx kinda sorta “adopting” a kid in the new season (you can kinda see them in that clip with Smeech attacking Sevika) and there’s the scene with Undercity people surrounding Jinx having blue hair so my thoughts are now leaning more towards that this is that child in question than something having to do with Jinx or Powder herself. it would also explain Sevika's new look and such.

I'm SUCH an idiot but the gem imbedded in Viktor's wrist is most likely for the arm they showed back in S1, much like how they showed the gauntlets that Vi would eventually be using. I just didn't give the arm a second thought until now despite knowing The Machine Herald already had the third arm (insert face palm here...)

Back to the lines from Vi and Caitlyn from the announcement teaser 3 years ago, it's clear that they're talking about the temple fight that happens later on. Caitlyn has to see this through but she doesn't want to do it alone because she knows that she or Jinx is going to end up dead as a result; but Vi feels she needs to fight Jinx herself because we're probably going to see a bunch of stuff happen before the fight (like the Kiramman tent fight for example) because Vi says "no one else needs to get hurt", but at first I just thought that Vi was talking about Jinx's attack on the Council.

I'm still unsure who's in the orange that Ambessa's talking to because no ones signature color in Arcane has been orange as far as i know (it's been mainly reds, blues, whites, and golds) so I'm thinking that it's a hospital outfit of some sort (I could be wrong, but that's where my thoughts are towards) and she's talking to someone in Piltover that Can implement Martial Law and there's really only 3 examples that could do that: Caitlyn, Jayce, or Mel (if Mel happens to be alive of course. and I'm pretty sure the other Councilor's are about as dead as dogshit, or should be because besides Cassandra did you Really give a fuck about the rest of them?).

someone else pointed this out and I for the Life of me can't find their account but the lines on the floor point to this being Stillwater Hold, so at some point that's where Jinx's base of operations is, or she's just breaking them out but at least in this scene i don't think so.

I'm changing my stance on this, this is happening right before Act 3 (or more specifically, before we see her in the Ambessa fight). mainly because while the lighting is damn near impossible to make out, i think her hair is cut in this scene, she's also missing the ropes on her top. Mainly because when we see her with the finger prosthetic she still has her braids and that's Definitely happening post Act 1. so she's crying about something different from Silco here and I'm having a dreading idea on what it is...

I don't think Vi is carrying Cait on her shoulders, mainly because with the lighting the vest looks brown but when we see Caitlyn her vest is very clearly black. So not exactly sure who it is, I'm kinda thinking it's the blue fish guy (is Arcane gonna give us the names of Caitlyn's comrades yet?!) and the explosion we see with him isn't the same one that knocked Vi down. but that's just hypothetical, the only thing I'm Sure about is that Vi isn't carrying Caitlyn at least.

I have NO idea Why and I have NO credible sources on this but for some reason my brain keeps telling Sevika's dying. No i don't know the how or the when but it'd just be another tally of grief for Jinx (because we're probably going to see them get close despite their animosity back in S1) (and let's be real anyone that takes on even a Slight "parenting" role to Vi or Jinx is getting the axe, i don't make the rules)

So far the only thing I'm having trouble placing is uhhh everyone that Isn't Vi, Jinx or Caitlyn. because they've been Massively marketing the three of them but when it comes to people like Viktor and Jayce not a fucking clue. We got that clip of Ekko and Heimerdinger sneaking into Piltover where they probably do some sorta hextech experimenting but that's really the limit of my knowledge. I know the people I was confused about have to do with Viktor and the Glorious Evolution thing but other than that, I've really only got solid thoughts on our three ladies for the season.

Also it seems like tomorrow they're probably going to be showing us what they showed at the Annecy festival for pit fighter Vi back in June so... can't wait for that!

and that's what i got for now...

[the-villainous-ace]

Baffy/Looney Tunes Human AU Outline

I wanted to post once I had little character concepts drawn out but anything I try to draw makes me feel physically ill *womp womp*, so writing about it is just easier at the mo.

It needs to fresh air and excersise instead of rotting inside my brain.

Looney Tunes Show Style living situation where Bugs and Daffy are roommates and clearly a queer married couple, Bugs knows this and acknowledges this is a self aware sort of comical way... meanwhile Daffy is just oblivious convinced Bugs is just his Roommate/best friend.

"Bugs Bunny" [GOVERNMENT NAME REDACTED] [AGE REDACTED]. Bugs in this human universe Owns a Club and is a Drag performer. As a performer they're known for their great looks as well as their cutting remarks and crowd work. They started out doing stand up but always wanted something with a more dramatic flare. Drag was her true calling and with her big buisness acumen he eventually saved enough to open and own her own club.

"Daffy [Horatio Tiberius] Duck" in this AU works from home as a content-creator/streamer with a fairly large following. He worked a number of odd jobs in the past often being fired or quiting on a whim. Twitch streaming was another whim but his acerbic personality and flare for the dramatics ended up endearing him to his now dedicated audience.

Daffy was a heckler at one of Bug's shows, Its turned into some great banter and it was one of the best nights of His career, after the show he bought Daffy a drink as thanks. Turned out Daffy needed a place to stay and Bugs was looking for a new Roommate. The rest is history and now they have a mortgage togther.

Purley the Vibes think... Dan and Phil 2024 era, Trixie and Katia, thatoneclipwhereTrixieissayingthatshe'sKermitandDavidisMsPiggy. TheLooneyTunesShow, Looney Tunes Back in Action, Jerma985.

[nolita-fairytale]

call sign: tennessee whiskey | rooster x fem!reader & hangman x phoenix | chapter four

summary: the mission is over but the tension between hangman and phoenix has just reached its boiling point.

warnings: smut (18+ only chapter, mdni), fluff, some angst, enemies to lovers, swearing, mentions of death, military & aircraft carrier inaccuracies, second person pov

wc: 8.4k

listen to: the playlist

a/n: after very rooster x whiskey-focused chapter, i present to you all my hannix obsession. i clearly have never been on a naval aircraft carrier but i did watch some videos and my god why are my tax payer dollars not going to making those way more comfortable to live on jfc?! many apologies if you have been inside a naval aircraft carrier and this is not accurate / you'd never [redacted] on one bc gross. i just needed to give #hannix the scene they deserved ok!?

chapter three | masterlist | chapter five

When the Dagger Squad learns that the mission has been moved up, you’re almost glad that you didn’t take it any further with Rooster. No one has successfully flown the low range course yet, and everyone seems to be in the zone – highly focused, a little snappy – that by the time you board, it’s a whole lot quieter on the carrier. While you’re disappointed not to be selected to fly this one, you think you may be more overwhelmed with anxiety about having to wait on deck, completely out of control. 

“Shit,” you’d muttered to yourself as soon as you realized what was missing. You’d forgotten your lucky charm, which is how you ended up below deck ten minutes before you had to report on deck.

You wouldn’t call yourself superstitious, that is, until you’re hurrying back down to the sleeping quarters to grab your pin. It’s just a small pin, memorabilia from your father’s first record store, that you bring on every single deployment. You’d forgotten it earlier, most likely because you hadn’t been selected to fly, but figured it wasn’t worth taking a chance with. 

Not with Nat out there. 

Not with Rooster out there. 

You grab your pin from where it’s attached to one of the handles of your duffle bag, pinning it to the inside of the sleeve of your flight suit, before hurrying out of the bunk room. As you close the door behind you, you see the tall brunette aviator waiting for you outside. 

Damn, he looks good in his flight suit. 

“What’re you doing here?” you ask him, a panic swelling in your chest. “Shouldn’t you be on deck? We only have a couple minutes before we have to report.”

“I saw you slip out,” he admits. 

“Well, I don’t want to make you late!” you hurry him, gesturing towards the set of stairs that you both need to get your asses up ASAP. Only, he doesn’t move, placing both hands on your shoulders to stop you. You can see fear and a quiet determination in his eyes – it’s a look you recognize – look you’ve had yourself many times.

“I wanted a moment with you before we-, before I left,” Bradley explains, more candidly this time. 

“I just forgot something down here is all,” you tell him, shifting nervously. “But um. I’m glad you did – wanted to see me.” 

Before you know it, Rooster’s pulling you into his arms, pressing his lips to yours again. If you thought he’d kissed you like it was the last night on earth back in Fightertown, this sure as hell topped it. But you don’t want to do this – don’t want to act like this is some kind of goodbye – because he’s coming back. 

He has to. 

You indulge him a little longer before reluctantly pulling away from the kiss, your eyes glossy, as you stare up at the man you’ve found yourself infatuated with. 

“Give em hell, Bradshaw. And then get your ass back here,” you whisper, smiling up at him.

He nods, as if he’s making you a promise. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

Listening to the progress of the mission over the radio has you on the edge of your seat. You know Nat’s a tough cookie, a ruthless soldier, and an exceptional pilot, but you worry anyways, your heart pounding in your chest as you listen to the updates coming in from the active pilots over the radio. 

This mission entertains the highest of highs from the first, “Bullseye! Bullseye! Bullseye!” to the lowest of lows. It’s the multiple asks, commands for contact that are met with silence that stop your heart.  

“Dagger Two, do you copy?”

And when you’re all met with silence over the radios, you know it’s not looking good. 

“Whiskey…” Halo trails off as the silence rings throughout your two-seater. 

“I just-,” you pant, your breathing becoming heavier. Your super hornet suddenly feels incredibly small as you grow increasingly claustrophobic – something you rarely feel inside of your F/A-18.

“I just need some air. I-, I’ve got to get out of here for a second.” 

You’re tearing your way outside of your aircraft to breathe for a second. You can hear the comms confirming that Payback, Fanboy, Phoenix, and Bob are all on their way back along with the request from Hangman for permission to fly Dagger Spare. But the sounds slowly begin fading away, and it feels like you’re going to throw up, your heart pounding in your chest. You don’t know how long it’s been, how long you’re lost in your head before Halo’s pulling you back into the aircraft. 

“Whiskey!” she calls to you, giving your hand a big squeeze. “Whiskey! Listen!” 

Sounds begin coming back to you and all you can hear over the radio are the voices of Hondo and Cyclone calling after Hangman. But he’s already taken off, disobeyed direct orders to stand down, flying fast like someone’s life depends on it. 

And they do. 

“Permission to strike, sir,” is the last thing you hear over the radio before the rest is just a blur. 

Hangman’s shot down the enemy fighter plane, saving Maverick and Rooster from certain death, and all you can hear is a symphony of voices, cheers, and orders to return to the carrier as quickly as possible. It’s a celebration from here on out. The entire carrier staff is piling on deck, in an effort to support the landing of both Hangman, Rooster, and Maverick’s planes. When the three deplane, they’re swarmed, aviators and crew members alike celebrating a safe return home. 

You and Halo are climbing out of your super hornet once again, joined by the rest of the Dagger Squad as you fight your way across the tarmac on the carrier. It all happens so quickly, and you’re practically flinging yourself into Jake’s arms since he’s the first one you see – the first one to have a spare moment. He squeezes you tightly, letting out another celebratory laugh as he picks you up off of your feet to spin you around. 

“Thank you,” you finally say, as he puts you down,

He shrugs, as if it’s not a big deal, even though you all know it is.

“Just doin my job, kid,” he says, shrugging off your comment. 

Phoenix rolls her eyes as the two of you exchange a glance. If there’s a time he’s deserved the right to be arrogant, this is it.

“So this is the time he chooses to be humble,” she teases, playfully rolling her eyes. 

“Phoenix,” you sigh, pulling her a tight hug. “Well done! And welcome home.”

You pull away from each other, elated by the success of the mission, and the complete 180 that Maverick and Rooster managed to pull off. You steal a glance Rooster’s way, seeing him deep in conversation with Mav. You’re not going to interrupt, but you’re practically jumping out of your skin to get to him next. As you stand there, Phoenix and Hangman exchange looks. She nudges him with her elbow in the ribcage, eliciting a loud, ‘OW!’ from Jake that pulls your focus. 

“What?” you ask, looking from Jake to Natasha, wondering why they were both acting so weird. 

“C’mon, Bagman,” she groans, putting the pressure on him. 

“What?!” he exclaims. His face falling as he realizes. “No.”

“Yes!” she insists. 

“No!”

“Oh, grow up.”

“Fine.”

“Well, that was easier than I thought it would be.”

As they turn their attention to you, you look from Nat to Jake, quizzically. Hangman sighs in defeat, his face falling, as he gives up on the idea that he’s going to get out of this. 

He nods in the direction of Rooster and Mav. The look on his face is so genuine that you know he means it when he says:

“Go get your guy.”

Your heart skips a beat. 

“What’re you talking about?” you begin to ask, shooting him a funny look. 

“Nothing gets by me, kid,” Jake chuckles with a shake of his head. 

He knows that, while you weren’t waiting for it, while you didn’t need it, giving you his blessing still means a whole lot. 

It looks like Maverick and Rooster are wrapping up their conversation, leaving the strong embrace they were locked in before. Phoenix shoots you another look of encouragement, as she beams back at you, and it’s really all the encouragement you need. 

“Okay,” you say nervously, looking from one best friend to the other. 

“Okay,” you repeat yourself, quieter this time as you turn to go. 

You can hear Nat celebrating behind you with a ‘yes!’ while she tries, to no avail, to get Jake to high five her. 

It’s almost as if you’re working yourself up to be bold as you walk towards Rooster. He’s just standing there, sweaty and a little banged up, watching Maverick walk away as you approach. You’re not sure how, with one date and a two week period, he’s managed to have you wrapped around his finger, but in your defense it’s been an intense two weeks. Maybe it’s because you asked him to wait – making him a forbidden fruit of sorts – that’s kept you on the hook. 

You’re dying to kiss him again. 

That’s for sure. 

It’s all about the wind up. 

The waiting.

The anticipation. 

“Bradshaw!” you call after him, hoping to catch his attention.

The adrenaline is still pulsing through his body as he turns around in response to the sound of your voice. He’s grinning as he sees you standing there, in your flight suit, the sun just beginning to dip below the horizon. Fuck it. He doesn’t care that you don’t know where exactly this is going and that kissing you publicly will be quite the statement. As the two of you lock eyes, it’s a no brainer. 

The mission is over, completed, and a wild success! You both deserve to celebrate a little. 

You leap into his arms as quickly as you can. Rooster’s embracing you, scooping you off of your feet, unable to hide the silly grin that’s plastered to his face. 

And then he kisses you like he almost died today, and in all fairness, he almost did. His lips are on yours like magnets. He thinks to himself that he may never get over this – may never get tired of kissing you – and it’s only just begun.

Shit, did he have it bad…

“You came back,” you whisper against his lips, as he places you back onto your feet.

“I made you a promise,” he smiles, cupping your face with one of his hands. He pauses to admire you, before leaving one more kiss on your lips.

“You’re amazing,” is all that seems to tumble out of your mouth. Before you can say more, you hear a voice call out for Rooster. 

“Bradshaw!” Hondo says. He looks from you to Rooster, shooting the both of you an apologetic smile. “Sorry to break this up but uh… we gotta get you to the infirmary. Check you out after all of that.” 

All of that. Right. The whole plane-being-shot-down thing. The whole almost-dying today thing. 

But Bradley isn’t ready to part ways with you yet. You feel his fingers interlace with yours as he grabs your hand and asks, with a hopeful look in his eyes:

“Come with me?”

And you’re saying ‘yes’ before he can even finish his question. 

You wait outside of the infirmary for him to get checked out for as long as it takes. He’s got a few bruised ribs, a few lacerations but no internal bleeding, and whiplash the doctors are sure he’ll be feeling by tomorrow, which is pretty good for having been shot down and stealing an old F-14. The minute you’re allowed to go in, you’re right beside him, with no intention of leaving. You’re not sure how, in two weeks, a man you barely know has managed to capture so much of your heart. Chalk it up to infatuation, the anticipation, or a genuine curiosity, but maybe Natasha Trace was onto something when insisting the two of you meet. 

The doctors have come and gone, wanting to keep him overnight for observation. Mav should be here, but he’s not which, doesn’t surprise you considering he’s never followed protocol anyways. Truthfully, you’re grateful to have some time alone with Rooster before you dock tomorrow morning. 

You double check to make sure no one’s listening before deciding to bring it up. 

“Glad my little incentive worked,” you wink, giving his hand a squeeze. 

You haven’t let go of his hand since you were allowed to come visit. 

“Oh I-, I uh. Shit, I can’t believe I’m saying this but…” he blushes, as he stammers over his words. “But uh… I don’t want you to feel like… you owe me that or anything. I mean, I would just be happy with a second date or-.”

“Rooster,” you interrupt, your voice surprisingly even. 

“If I recall correctly,” you lower your voice. You stand up out of your chair, leaning over him so that you can kiss him, just barely ghosting your lips over his. “I promised to rock your world. And I am nothing if not a woman of my word, Bradshaw.”

“Oh yeah?” he asks, feeling his heart pound in his chest. His face is flushed red as you kiss his top lip, something you find oh so endearing. 

“Oh yeah,” you mirror his language with a small nod of your head. 

You softly press your lips against his, smiling into the kiss as you promise further, “And as soon as the medic clears you... it is so. On.”

If the adrenaline drop in his body hadn’t been a gateway for the pain to kick in, he might let you ride him right here. He clears his throat trying his best act as normal as possible, like he’s not half hard already. You feel Rooster wrap an arm around your waist, encouraging you towards him as he shifts further up the hospital bed.

“Come here, sweetheart,” he groans, squeezing your hip as he pulls you closer. 

He doesn't need to ask you twice. You grin, climbing into the bed with him and curling up next to him. You rest your head on his chest as he lies on his back, laying on your side so that you can wrap a leg around him. 

You smile again, thinking about how he’s called you sweetheart. 

And how much you liked it. 

You actually can’t stop smiling at this point. 

Hearing it – the pet name – on Rooster’s lips makes you feel so silly in the best way. You’re not a soldier, not a fighter pilot, you’re just a girl with a stupid crush on a guy that you can’t wait to get all kinds of distracted with. 

You can’t believe someone this sexy is also this sweet – still in total disbelief that he would even hesitate to take you up on your offer to give him the best night of his life. 

As you bury your face into his chest, curling up with him, he begins stroking your hair gently, as you relax into him. 

“You’re still in your flight suit,” he chuckles, the rumble of his laugh resonating all through his chest. 

“Well, I didn’t work as hard as you today. Didn’t get the thing all messy. I could go change back into my uniform but… here is nice…” you sigh, sinking into the mattress with him. 

“Yeah. Here is nice,” he repeats, lifting his head to steal a glance your way. 

There’s a comfortable silence between the two of you as you enjoy each others’ company. Bradley runs a soothing hand through your hair as you rest your head on his chest, observing the rise and fall of each breath he takes.

It’s starting to hit you: the excitement and exhaustion of the day. Today had been an emotional rollercoaster and the fact that you’d already grown so emotionally attached to Bradley – or at least the potential of him – had ramped up the stakes more than you wanted when you arrived at TOPGUN. You let out an exasperated sigh, like you can breathe for the first time all day, and you feel like you’re finally coming down, you like that it’s Rooster who’s here to catch you. You feel the vibrations on Bradley’s voice as he says:

“You should get some rest.”

After being shot down by an enemy combatant, and he’s still trying to take care of you?! Where did Nat find this guy?! You don’t even need to see that he’s smiling to hear it in his voice. You feel so safe with him, here in his arms, even though you haven’t known him for long. You close your eyes and take a breath, enjoying the way this all feels. 

Bradley isn’t quite ready to fall asleep yet, so he enjoys your company, trying his best to help you relax. As your eyes flutter closed, he feels like he should pinch himself or something. It’s been such an emotional day. Sure, his super hornet had been shot down in enemy territory. Sure, it had been a dogfight to the very end that could’ve very well been his last. Sure, it seemed like maybe he could start working towards smoothing things over with Maverick…

But this thing between the two of you takes the cake. He’s practically jumping out his skin – excited and curious – about what this could be. He’s enjoyed getting to know you over the last two weeks, and now that all bets were off and the mission was over, he was more than eager to get to know you better. 

There’s something about you that’s left an impression on him, and he can’t get you out of his head. The idea that you wouldn’t be a distraction for him flew out the window after the first date – at least for him – and now that he doesn’t have to focus on a mission, Bradley Bradshaw only has eyes for you. 

*

After looking for you in the rec room and the women’s sleeping quarters, Nat comes to the conclusion that you’re probably with Bradley – everything going according to plan. Between the success of the mission and Operation: Set Up, she’s intent on taking a nice hot shower before joining the rest of the crew for dinner. With a triumphant smile on her face, she gathers her toiletry bag, a towel, and a clean uniform, throwing them carelessly into her smaller-sized Navy-issued backpack. She then takes her down, making a note that it’s wash day, and that her hair is in dire need of a little TLC. 

The bathrooms on these carriers are nothing glamorous, but at least it seems like the ships have gotten a few upgrades here and there. The showers aren’t a single stainless steel hose anymore, offering a proper shower head these days which, she thinks, is the least the Navy can do. 

As she walks towards the shower, not paying attention much to her surroundings after a more-than-eventful day, she runs right into a uniform clad man, causing her to jump. 

“Jesus Christ, Hangman! You scared the shit out of me,” she exclaims, as soon as she realizes who it is. 

“What’re you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at dinner with everyone else?” he asks, bluntly. 

“I wanted to take a shower. What’re you doing here?” she asks back, matching the sassiness of his question. 

He takes a beat. While he could make up something, say something snarky about taking his victory lap, he decides just to be honest with her. 

“I uh… just lookin’ for Whiskey. Wanted to see if she was okay. Hadn’t seen her since we landed and it’s been a day,” he admits with a shrug. 

Of course they’d both be looking for her at the same time. Natasha wonders if this is some kind of karmic payback for parent trapping Rooster and Whiskey. Was this universe fucking with her or what?

“She’s fine. She’s with Rooster,” Natasha is quick to answer. “And don’t even think about bothering them!”

Hangman chuckles, before rolling his eyes. 

“What is with you about them anyways?” he pries, taking a step towards her. 

She shrugs, before answering plainly, “I don’t know. They’re both the best people I know. Thought it was about time they met.

“And what does that make me?” Jake asks back, ready to engage in their regular game of banter. 

“The worst. Definitely the worst, Bagman,” she scoffs, emphasizing the call sign she knows gets under his skin. Natasha crosses her arms across her chest as if to signify that she’ll be standing her ground on this one. 

“Yeah, whatever,” he shoots back, his gaze following her. 

She takes a step forward with every intention of pushing past Hangman so that she can shower, but something stops her. Nat looks down for a moment, only to meet his eyes with hers once more as she looks back up. She feels it’s only right to give him proper credit where credit’s due. 

“I suppose… not today, though,” she concedes, treading carefully. “Today… you get a pass, I guess. But don’t let it get to your head.”

“You’re right,” he smirks, his lips twisting into an arrogant grin. “I am the hero of the day. Glad you finally recognize, Phoenix.”

She rolls her eyes, already annoyed by the blonde. 

“Oh fuck off. I’m not stroking your ego,” she mutters, taking a few steps towards Jake, the only thing standing between her and a hot shower. 

“Well, I got something else you could-,” he starts, an arrogance in the way he talks that makes her want to punch him in the face. 

“Don’t even finish that!” she cuts him off, warning him with the look she sends him. 

“Ha! That’d be something,” Jake quips, with a raise of his eyebrows. “A sight for sore eyes, Trace.”

“You wish, Bagman,” she banters, attempting this time to push past him. 

She lets out the smallest gasp of surprise when Jake doesn’t move, putting her toe to toe with her frenemy. Her eyes meet his green ones once more and she stops, standing so close to Hangman she’s not sure what the hell is going on anymore. 

“Yeah. I do,” he drawls, under his breath. 

Her head spins for a moment, and for once, she doesn’t have a witty reply or a snarky comment to say back. 

She searches his face for any sign that he’s going to take back what he’s said – like there’s no way it could be real. It’s got to be some joke, so dig to get under her skin, an attempt to throw her off her game. But the longer she waits, it begins to dawn on her that it’s not a quip, an arrogant pass at her he’d call a flirtion, or a line he’d use on some bartender at the Hard Deck. It almost sounds like… an admission.

Normally, she’d find it hard to believe – that there could be a genuine side to Jake Seresin – but her mind wanders back to the morning after the bird strike. She’d woken up the next morning and, despite her best efforts, Hangman was still there. He’d spent the night at the hospital with her and Bob despite needing to report for duty at 0800 that morning. She couldn’t imagine that that chair had been remotely comfortable to sleep in, but she’d tried not to think too hard about it.

“You-, you what?” she asks in disbelief. Her eyes flicker away before returning his gaze again, like he’s just said something so absurd –  like he’s just said he’d like to transform into a flying monkey. 

But when he doesn’t answer, Natasha can’t stop the overwhelm of questions bubbling up in her head. The look on Jake’s face is a total curveball that she’s not quite sure what to do with. He’s just patiently awaiting her response, only a little smug that he’s rendered her completely speechless. 

She doesn't know what possesses her to do so – maybe the leftover adrenaline from the mission, the high of flying – but she’s got some questions she’s determined to get answers to. Questions like:

Does Jake Seresin want to kiss me? And what if I like it? What if I like it more than I hate him? 

Slowly, Phoenix raises her hands up to his chest, the tension between them thick. As she balls her fists up with the fabric of the camo uniform he wears, curling her fingers into the woven fabric, Jake watches the movement of her hands in anticipation. The hard planes of muscles underneath her knuckles are hard to miss. It’s not like she hasn’t seen the man shirtless before… but feeling him? Feeling what’s been underneath this whole time is a different story.

“What’re you doing?” he asks her, so quietly, as if speaking any louder would scare her away. 

“A fucking science experiment. What does it look like I’m doing?” she mutters under his breath. And in a way, she is. 

“I-,” Jake starts, hesitantly. 

“I’m testing a theory, Bagman, so… how about you just kiss me?!” she exclaims, impatiently. 

He doesn’t need more encouragement than that. 

Jake folds his much bigger hands around both of her wrists, pulling Nat closer to him with a quick jerking moment. The little gasp she lets out causes him to smirk and for a moment, she doesn’t hate that that’s what his face looks like when he does it.

“I should warn you. I’m an incredible kisser,” he coos, his voice low like he’s trying to do his best Johnny Cash impression.

“Oh shut up!” she snaps, grabbing his face in both of her hands to crash her lips against his. 

It’s the one thing, she decides, that will get him to shut up, and boy, does it work. Natasha presses her lips against his over and over again, sighing into his mouth as he kisses her with a hunger that surprises her. She lets herself get lost in his lips – the way his mouth feels against hers, the fervor and desire they seem to communicate – she realizes that she doesn’t want to stop. It’s almost annoying, really, how much she doesn’t want to stop. 

Jake thinks he may be imagining it, unable to comprehend that Phoenix just may like kissing him more than she expected to. His breath hitches in his throat as he feels her tug on his neck, practically dragging him into the bathroom on the carrier and slamming the door shut. 

He watches as she turns around to lock the door, and he just can’t help himself. 

“What? Data not conclusive enough?” he teases her. “Or you just need more of me, Trace?”

“Yes! I mean, no,” she answers, almost too quickly. Natasha slides out of the straps of her backpack before placing it down next to her. 

“I think I liked it better when you weren’t talking, Bagman,” she snaps, busying herself with the lock on the door. “And I didn’t want anyone to see.”

Jake stands behind her as the click of the door locking rings out in the carrier bathroom. He wonders if she regrets it – only brought him in here for another fight, to tell him it was a mistake and that they shouldn’t have kissed. He slides gentle hands around her hips, pulling her  back towards him once more. This is the point of no return, she thinks. The way she sees it, they have two options: she could tell him to stop, or they could cross this line and never look back. 

“We can stop if you want to,” Jake’s voice rumbles out from behind her, his tone of voice softer; lighter. 

He’s wrapped his arms around her, holding her against him as she stumbles backwards into him. The way he touches her is gentle, thoughtful, and surprisingly respectful because he wants her to know that he means it. 

We can stop if you want to. 

But she doesn’t want to.  

Instead of answering, she reaches up, pulling her hair to the right side of her neck, offering Jake fucking Seresin more of her body. She can’t believe this is what it’s come to. There’s a lump in his throat as he watches, swallowing hard in response to her newly exposed skin. He rarely sees her with her hair down, and Jake can’t get over how beautiful Natasha Trace really is. And this hair… all of this thick, luscious dark hair? It’s giving him ideas….

Jake begins to leave soft kisses over the top of her shoulders, kissing and then sucking on her bare skin. Jake doesn’t know how much control he has left when he hears the first moan escape from her lips, pressing her ass back against him. He uses his lips and tongue again, desperate to hear the little noises she makes as he continues to kiss her neck. 

“I don’t want to stop,” she finally confesses, making sure he knows that she’s in.

Maybe this all made sense. 

All of the bickering back and forth, all of the eye rolls and looks of dismay, all of the resentment and tension had to be let out somehow, didn’t it? Jake feels so damn charged up, and he’s losing his fucking mind with the way she arches her back against him. He’s not going to second guess it, not going to think twice about going where this was going.

Hell, maybe it’s just a ‘what happens on the carrier stays on the carrier’ kind of thing. He doesn’t know and he doesn't need to know right now - not with how good she feels against him. 

There’s a momentary loss of body heat as Nat takes a step forward, and just when Jake’s about to say something, she’s turning back around, pulling the top of her uniform over her head and tossing it on the floor. She grabs his hand, pulling him towards her before crashing her lips to his once again. It’s as if she can’t get close enough to him, her skin on fire if she doesn’t get what she needs from. Hell, she hasn’t even let him get a good look at her in her bra yet before she’s pulling him back to her, so desperate to have his body against hers. 

Her lips are all over his once again, sucking on his top lip so feverishly she knows that both of their lips will be kiss-swollen afterwards. Cupping her face so tenderly, Jake licks her bottom lip, begging for entrance before tangling his tongue with hers, falling further and further down this rabbit hole. 

Jake begins to leave hot, wet, open-mouthed kisses down her jaw and her neck, his hands running up and down her now-bare abdomen. She takes note of how warm his big hands feel as they explore new territory. 

“Not there,” she whines, as he sinks his teeth into the top of her shoulder. She can’t believe she lets out a giggle following, before she adds: “Don’t want anyone to see.”

Jake chuckles, the vibrations deep in his chest as he says, “You think you run this show, darlin’,” in between kisses. With his mouth ghosting over the skin of her collarbone, he looks up at her, catching her brown eyes with his green ones. “Think you can keep me as your dirty little secret?” 

“You are my dirty little secret,” she’s quick to reply, though she’s lost in the way Jake’s mouth feels on her. 

“Hmm,” he hums into her skin. “Seems like I’m going to have to show you otherwise.”

She wishes she had a better reply, but she doesn’t, and soon enough Jake’s sinking his teeth into a particularly sensitive spot above her collarbone, earning a sigh of pleasure from her. His tongue snakes out to soothe the sting of his teeth, and he’s satisfied knowing that when she sees the mark on her body tomorrow morning, she’ll think of him.

“Fuck,” she groans, only mildly annoyed that he won this one.

There’s something about her – something about how she always has the upperhand – that makes Jake want to consume her. He wants to pull the sweetest sounds from her lungs, he wants to see her lose control, eager to turn the otherwise composed aviator into a mumbling desperate mess for him. 

For him, and only him. 

He’s not sure when this started – when he started feeling this way – and he wonders if she’s been thinking about this as long as he has. He grins as he pushes her against the bathroom door, another moan escaping her lips, caging her in between his body and the exit. He strips off his shirt, tossing it somewhere behind him, before his mouth and hands begin to move lower. 

Fuck. 

So that’s what’s been lying underneath the flight suit… 

Nat indulges herself, her eyes selfishly taking in the defined muscles of his back and shoulders as Hangman moves down her body. 

“Thought I’d give you something to look at,” he brags, cockily. 

Before she can come back with a witty remark, Jake’s kneeling on the floor, pulling her uniform trousers down her legs, encouraging her to step out of them. He reminds himself that he wants to make this last, wants to drag this out for as long as possible, wants to be the reason she loses her mind entirely today. 

“What’re you-?” she pants, running a hand through her hair. She allows his hands to guide her body where he’d like her to be, pinning her up against the door. She looks down, and the sight of Jake Seresin on his knees for her makes her breath hitch in her throat. 

Instead of answering, Jake looks up, his green eyes gleaming with desire as he glides one of her legs over his shoulder. 

“Fuck, Hangman,” she sighs, her eyes fluttering closed. Jake presses a soft kiss to the inside of her leg, just above her knee, as she finally uses his actual call sign. She figures it's the least she can do if this is going where she thinks it’s going. 

She feels him smile against her skin as his mouth moves higher up, loving the way his call sign sounds falling from her mouth. 

“You don’t have to-,” Natasha stammers, her breathing getting heavier and more uneven as Hangman works his way up higher and higher. 

“Oh but I’m going to,” he coos, a smirk on his face. “You just relax, sweetheart. I got this.”

He wonders if he should ask –  make sure she’s okay with it. But the sound that comes out of her mouth is like music to his ears when he pulls her panties to the side to get his first taste of the aviator he’s never been able to get out of his mind. 

“Oh fuck!” Phoenix cries out with the first contact of his tongue, her eyes snapping open.

Hangman looks back up at her, meeting her gaze as if to make sure he should move forward. She nods, and he’s practically ripping her cotton panties off of her, pulling her hips closer to him so that he can properly do this. Jake’s mouth is back on her, his head between her legs, licking a broad strip up the entirety of her hot, wet heat. 

Who knew that something that was so wrong could feel so right?

She’s beginning to lose control as he wraps his arms around her body, his hands grabbing onto her ass so that he can hold her in place. Jake’s mouth, something she could care less for in any other circumstance, is the one thing bringing her the most pleasure, making her see stars, causing her to cry out as she tangles her fingers into his blonde locks. Head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut, Jake brings her over the edge. He thinks he could get off just to the sounds she’s making, her legs shaking, as she moans his call sign when she cums. 

Nat braces herself against the door, her arms shaking as Hangman stands tall, towering over her once again.

“Holy shit, Hangman,” she whispers in between breaths, blinking her eyes a few times. “Who knew that mouth of yours was good for more than pissing me off.”

With a shit-eating grin, he’s kissing her again, letting her taste herself on his lips as she drags her teeth over his bottom one. 

“I have a condom in my bag,” Nat mentions, in between kisses. 

“Yeah?” he asks, pulling away for a moment. 

“Yeah, in my toiletry bag,” she adds, breathlessly. 

Jake cuts the kiss short, bending over to grab the backpack that sits next to their feet. He holds it close to her chest, instantly finding her toiletry bag. Jake unzips it, holding eye contact with Nat as his hands search for a foil wrapper. Unwilling to lose this game, Nat maintains his gaze, noticing that he’s found the condom in her periphery. Holding onto the condom, Jake drops the rest of the toiletry bag, daring her to do something about it. 

Nat snatches the condom out of his hands, and before she can do anything else, Hangman’s picking her up, more than satisfied when he feels her legs wrap around his waist. He makes big strides to the bathroom counter, setting her down as she lets out a squeal. Phoenix busies herself with tearing her bra over her head, then focuses on getting Hangman’s pants off as quickly as she can. 

He helps as much as he can, letting the trousers and his briefs fall to the floor, his belt hitting the floor with a clang. 

She bites down on her bottom lip, holding back a moan as she sees Hangman naked for the very first time. He very well could be the biggest dick on this carrier – in more ways than one. Nat wraps her legs around his waist, this time using them to pull him closer, something Jake finds incredibly hot. He lets out what can only be described as a chuckle and a groan simultaneously. With forehead pressed against hers, he lets his hands trace over her bare breasts, sending shivers down her spine as he lightly pinches one of her nipples. 

Nat’s mouth is back on him in an instant, swallowing his moans in her mouth while she pushes hips against him. 

“Phoenix,” he drags out, hissing as he feels just how wet she is.

She can see how much he’s holding back with the tension in his clenched jaw, trying to maintain control. She smirks in response, pausing the motion of her hips to run her hands down his naked torso. Jake’s grinning like a cheshire cat as she does it, watching her carefully as she admires his hard work. 

“Like what you see?” he baits her. 

“Just put the fucking condom on,” she orders. 

God, he loves how bossy she is. 

Jake reaches for the condom where Nat’s placed it on the counter. His hair is messy from the way Phoenix has pulled at it – from when they were making out, from when he was between her legs eating her out. He takes a few steps back so that he can put it on, tearing the wrapper open and tossing it to the floor. Nat watches him carefully as he slides it on his rock hard length, excited by the anticipation of it.

Holy shit, she thinks to herself. I’m about to fuck Jake Seresin.

And it had been too damn long since she’d last gotten laid. 

She’s reminded that she’s never been good at hiding her facial expressions when Jake asks:

“You uh… you good?”

She shoots him a confused look in response as he takes a step towards. 

“I mean. I just want to make sure… that you wanna do this?” he adds, softer this time, as he searches for clarity within her. 

This is a new side of him she’s seeing. 

“Come here,” she encourages, holding her hand out to him. He takes it, taking a few steps forward until he’s standing right in front of her. Jake waits for her to continue, for her to tell him something, but instead of words, Nat’s sliding her hands over his shoulders, pulling him so that she can kiss him. 

“Damn, Hangman,” she says, her eyes flickering over back down to his length. 

Maybe he did have a reason to be so cocky after all. 

He chuckles, followed by a hiss as he feels her hand wrap around his dick, dragging his latex-covered length over her core. Jake leans in, cupping her face as he plants one more kiss on her lips once more before lining up the tip of himself with her entrance.

They both gasp at the feel of each other, a brand new sensation as he enters her for the first time. 

“Holy fuck, Trace,” he groans, pushing further into her. “You feel too damn good.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she pants, enjoying the delicious way that he stretches her. 

When he’s finally all the way in, Jake gives her a moment to adjust. He kisses her gently, and with the way she’s pulsing around him, he thinks he deserves a gold medal for exercising this much self restraint. He begins to pull out, pushing back in at an experimental pace a few times. He fills her so well, but she won’t tell him that yet. 

“C’mon, Hangman,” Nat whines, in regards to the incredibly slow pace he’s set for them. “That all you got?”

Pausing just as he fills her completely, Jake looks at her, raising an eyebrow. 

“Should’ve known you’d like it rough, Phoenix,” he croons. He’s mentally preparing himself because while he wants so badly to ruin her, he thinks he may ruin himself while he’s at it. 

“Should’ve,” she dares him, her voice filled with lust, dying for him to properly fuck her. 

He meets her brown eyes once more with his, almost as a warning, like this is the last chance she gets before they both lose control. Nat’s lips twist into a smile when she notices the way his jaw twitches, so on the edge of going mad. 

“I’m not going to back out now, if that’s what you’re waiting for. And I want your best, Lieutenant.”

Jake groans in response and he feels his dick twitch inside of her when she calls him ‘Lieutenant.’ He grabs a handful of her hair, pulling her head back and earning the sweetest moan he thinks he’s ever heard. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he breathes, before pulling out only to slam back into her with a force that makes her see stars. 

“Fuck!” she shouts, feeling the rough snap of his hips. 

It’s as if he’s lost all reins of control. Jake pounds into her with an urgency that’s made him dumb. The way she moans his various names, cries out when he hits that particular spot deep inside of her, grasps at his shoulders, his back, his hair. And then she’s snapping her hips into his with an equal amount of intensity, lifting one of her legs up over his shoulder, making Jake wonder if she’s always been this flexible. 

What the hell had he been missing out on?

Had they just wasted all this time bickering, bantering, and competing back and forth when they could’ve been doing this? 

He doesn’t think he’ll last much longer with the way she’s squeezing around him. With one leg strung over his shoulder, he grabs Nat’s hips, fucking into her like he means it. 

“Fuck, I-, I think I’m gonna,” she stammers out, the pleasure all too much. 

“Phoenix, god damn,” he moans, though he’s hesitant to keep up this pace wanting to make this last longer. “You feel too good.”

He’s not sure what it is – perhaps, the slightest change in pace, a hesitancy that wasn’t there before – that grabs her attention. 

Her eyes snap open as she warns him. 

“Don’t you dare slow down,” she begs, though it comes out sounding much more like a demand than a please. Nat bucks her hips into his, so close to her orgasm. “Seresin, please.”

And it’s the way that she says ‘please’ that makes him think he’d give her anything she wants. He drives into her, holding her hips down as he takes her over the edge, with an intensity that could launch a missile into space. She’s crying out to the gods – words like Seresin, Hangman, and fuck – but not Jake when she cums. But Jake could care less, because she feels too good, and he’s right behind. He cums with a strangled moan, burying his face in her neck as he fucks the both of them through their highs. 

Natasha tries to catch her breath, coming down from her high. She feels him begin to soften inside her, and Jake pulls out, leaving their close quarters to dispose of the condom. 

“Um, so that happened,” she sighs, running a hand through her as she tries not to pretend that she’s not still weak in the knees. 

“It did,” Jake says, returning to where he stands right in front of her. 

She hops off of the bathroom counter, standing toe to toe with Jake once again. Her legs are still shaking, but she doesn’t want Hangman to know that. She braces herself against the counter, using her arms to give her more stability so she doesn’t give herself away. 

“I um- I’m gonna shower. See you at dinner?” she stammers, trying her best to act normal. 

“Uh yeah,” Jake exhales, thrown by how casual she’s being. 

Like he hadn’t just been inside of her a minute ago. 

He can’t tell whether or not he sounds as disappointed by her comment as he feels, because he can barely get a read on her. 

Nat stands up taller, wrapping her arms around his neck once more to kiss him goodbye. She gives him a half smile, before pushing past him to gather her things for the shower. 

He’s not sure what he expected. That they’d fuck and he’d finally have the courage to tell her how he feels? That she’d tell him she’s had these feelings for him for a while now? That now she won’t be able to get him out of her head? 

Jake can take a hint, and as Nat turns the shower on, he begins to get dressed. Pulling his uniform trousers back on, he walks over towards the door to the bathroom, picking up his shirt too. 

He steals one more look Phoenix’s way. 

She seems to have busied herself with setting out her things for her shower, preoccupied with well, anything but him. Phoenix keeps her eyes fixed on the small travel-sized toiletries she’s collecting for her shower, and when she hears the door close behind her, she knows Jake has finally left. 

“Shit,” she mutters to herself. 

She’s not sure how to feel about what just happened, but she feels like an asshole about how she just handled the aftermath. 

They fucked. And she liked it. 

She regrets not saying more, but it’s as if, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get the words out. Part of her feels bad for kicking him out like that, and the other part of her feels relieved because what the actual fuck just happened. 

Phoenix steps into the shower, hoping the feel of the hot water against her skin will give her some clarity.

What the fuck just happened. 

And why?

And why do I want it to happen again?

And what does this mean?

She barely hears the door open over the sound of running water. It’s not until she hears footsteps, a rustling sound of a toiletry bag, and the clang of a belt hitting the floor that she realizes she’s no longer alone. 

So much for getting to think overthink in this shower… 

“Phoenix?” shee hears a voice call after her, surprised to find that it’s the same voice that had been moaning her call sign a few moments ago. 

“Uh… what’s up?” she asks, her eyes widening as soon as she realizes it’s Hangman. 

When he doesn’t answer, she pokes her head out from behind the shower curtain. Hangman’s there, a towel hanging dangerously low around his waist, his back pressed up against the edge of her shower stall. 

“You forget something?” she asks, matter-of-factly. She’s unable to fathom that, after practically kicking him out and most likely wounding his ego, that he’d be back for more this soon. 

He shakes his head, shrugging carelessly as he asks:

“Can I join you?” 

There’s an arrogant smile on his face, something she bet works on most women. She’s barely caught up with herself before her mouth is saying ‘yes,’ her mind still stuck on ‘what the fuck is happening?’

Nat ogles him shamelessly as Jake removes his towel, making as much space as she can for him in this tiny shower. He steps in, and they maneuver themselves around the small space so that they’re chest to chest. Jake hasn’t taken his eyes off of her, holding her gaze as he finds himself here with her… again. 

Nat breaks their staring contest, following her fingertips as she traces shapes across his broad chest. She’ll give it to him. Maybe you do earn some rights to being an arrogant son of a bitch when you look like this. She raises her other hand to his chest, gently dragging her nails down his torso, earning a hiss from Hangman. 

She smirks, as she looks further down. 

“Already, Bagman?” she asks, eyeing his growing erection. 

“You know I hate it when you call me that,” he rasps, his eyes closing as she wraps her hand around his increasingly hard length. 

“You love it,” she counters, her voice soft and velvety as she taunts him. 

And as he turns her around so that he can slip himself back inside of her for the second time today, she finally says it. It’s sounds like something between a strangled moan and a desperate plea as the word tumbles out of her mouth:

"Jake."

read: chapter five

*

a/n: god i love them sm. don't worry, folks. rooster x reader content coming v v soon. can you believe hannix beat rooster and whiskey to the punch?!

taglist: @not-two-shrimp @wishfulwithwine @hangmanscoming @thefourrealms@hlkwrites @dlea203 @translatemunson

[anonymousbeefriendfanfics]

My Thoughts on Touchstarved

So, I've finished the demo! Let me start off by saying that I love the story! The concept is awesome, I adore that you can choose your own background, I love how immersive the setting is, everything is just... amazing. I can't wait for the full game to come out! Especially with all the special treats we're getting from the Kickstarter goals, it's going to be fantastic! And now, my friends, I shall share with you my thoughts & Headcannons for each of our lovely love interests, in order of appearance. If you'd like to see more, my requests are open!! I haven't gotten any for Touchstarved yet but I'm itching to write for them, I just... need some inspiration, so the more the merrier!

Kuras

First of all: pretty. I love his design, it's wonderful. He looks so ethereal! And very doctor-y, which was the point.

Can we talk about the hair, though???? How cool is that?? I love it. It looks very soft and fluffy. And so long... Could you imagine sleeping next to him? You wake up and you're drowning in floof.

He's very kind and gentle, but is obviously holding back. He distances himself from people, and like everybody else on this list, he needs to find someone he can really trust to open up and be himself with.

And he stays so busy, like... when does he ever take the time to relax? I know the city needs him and his clinic, but he deserves some time off, too.

To be honest Kuras gives me kinda like.... asexual vibes? Maybe demisexual? Idk, maybe I'm reading too much into him being reserved, but. I just feel like he either wouldn't be interested or he'd want to fall in love with someone before taking them to bed.

Leander

I love him, he's incredible. So talented, so kind!! I love the respect the Bloodhounds have for him, and how willing he is to go out of his way to help a stranger.

Also he blushes very easily and I love it, he's absolutely adorable

I am very very curious how he got so much skill with magic, because that doesn't seem to be normal. I bet it has something to do with his secret.

He very clearly has some serious trauma in his past, too. I wonder how he got that scar, if it has anything to do with his magic, if it is indeed the same scar running from his face to his arm....

Seems like he drowns his trauma in alcohol, his gang, and keeping himself very busy. Poor thing clearly doesn't get as much sleep as he should.

I think he just wants to be loved, but he's afraid to let himself be too vulnerable.

Vere

Foxboy Foxboy Foxboy Foxboy Fox-

Can I just say that I'm a little bit in love with his design. I mean I am with all of them but. Especially Vere. I love foxes and it's just. *Chef's kiss*

He's a cocky lil son of a biscuit tho. That tongue of his is quite sharp... as are his teeth~

I feel like he'd flirt with a Soulless to get what he wanted. In actuality he'd just murder it, but... you get my point. You're never sure if he's gonna seduce you or slit your neck.

Literally if Sage and Rime from Last Legacy had a child.

He's absolutely not trustworthy but I wanna get to the bottom of things and form that trust with him.

Romancing him would be very interesting. He's always three seconds away from eating you, but the question is... will he eat your soul, or your [redacted]?

Ais

He reminds me far too much of my friend's OC, and for that, I am the sliiiightest bit obsessed with him. At least that gives me a headstart on his characterization.

Would sell you to Satan for one cornchip, but fortunately MC interests him enough to keep them around

And Princess???? Oh my god. My heart. I adore her, I adore him, yes please

And he calls the MC "Sparrow"!!! That's absolutely precious. I love how he has nicknames for people, it's wonderful

Ais seems like the person who will tell you he doesn't care what happens to you and you can go get yourself killed for all he cares, then move heaven and earth to save you once you're even slightly in danger.

Mhin

Baby needs a hug. Enough said.

l absolutely adore them. They have stolen my heart.

And yes, maybe I do have the slightest bit of a savior complex, shut up. I'm just addicted to the hurt/comfort angst of it all, okay?

Literally hates everyone and everyone hates them (Except for, y'know, Kuras) because they're such a grumpy little loner and dear god just let me love you, let me teach you what love is.

They definitely fit into the whole "stronger than they appear" archetype because they're specifically mentioned to be pretty scrawny, but they have an impressive amount of strength and holy hells they're good with that dagger. That's incredible skill

I just. I want to break down those walls and earn their trust and teach them they have someone they can rely on who won't betray them, no matter what happens or how dark things get.

I just want to cuddle them and reassure them that everything's gonna be alright, is that a crime?

[bookishwithathought]

ACOSF Bonus Chapter Breakdown

Part II - Azriel and Elain

***IT IS LONG, BUT I WANTED TO DOWNLOAD ALL MY THOUGHTS ON HERE. IF ANYONE READS IT THROUGH, BLESS YOU. WILL CONTINUE IN FUTURE POSTS***

Part I: https://www.tumblr.com/bookishwithathought/749493410186117120/acosf-bonus-chapter-breakdown-part-i-azriel-and

**This is just me, analyzing the life out of the bonus chapter and all the possibilities. My thoughts and no one else's. If you agree, great. If you disagree, love it. If you want to share why you disagree, love it even more. If you are disrespectful while disagreeing, I kindly request that you move along and if you insist you will be left to argue with yourself**

How did I miss this important bit from the first part?

This implies that Az and his shadows are a package deal. The shadows are an important part of his character, his very being. Throughout the series there are so many comments and observations about the shadows, and if they weren't important then the author would have no need to give them the amount of attention she has.

BACK:

These details are important, especially since it's been established the shadows are an important part of Az's very being.

When comparing the shadows' behavior toward Elain to everyone else in Azriel's life, it's worth noting that they vanish in Elain's presence, or move in a way that implies uncertainty, insecurity or fear.

Elain was a social butterfly prior to being turned Fae, open and inviting, and this subtle forwardness seems to point to her being on her way to returning to herself, moving forward from mourning Graysen and her mortal life.

Azriel is letting his emotions override his reasoning.

To consider:

It can either be positive, where emotion leads to action for good, or negative, where it can lead one to ignore warning signs.

2. His conscience was warning him and he chose to ignore. His wants and needs broke forth, overriding his senses and dismissing any potential repercussions or fallouts from this decision.

"I want what I want, consequences be damned"

*Clearly Elain is attracted to Az, otherwise she wouldn't have leaned into him. We see her beginning to just want again.

(I'm redacting because I want to keep it as PG as I can)

Why wait for his shadows to go to sleep to allow himself this freedom?

Possibilities:

His shadows know it's wrong and would encourage him against it

Azriel knows it's wrong and doesn't want to have his companions whisper into his conscience

Azriel felt uncomfortable acting on his desires in the presence of his shadows and didn't want an audience

My personal thought: It's like hiding something important from your greatest friend who'll always be honest with you and hold you accountable because you don't want to be honest with yourself and you don't want to leave any room for your conscience to be awakened.

Personal note: I love the half-hearted attempt at resisting lol at least their conscience wasn't completely thrown out of the window.

Her arousal: reminds me of Violet Bridgerton and wanting to be "gardened" in Queen Charlotte (iykyk) lol. In all seriousness, this points to Elain being ready for love again. She is ready for touch, for intimacy.

Side note: Shout out to Azriel for still showing self-restraint, letting Elain take the lead on this. It's possible that he's letting her take the lead to appease his conscience, to be able to point out that he wasn't the initiator (not that it matters, at the end of the day, if you're still a willing participant. If there is blame to be had, you share it regardless of who started it) but I'd rather think the best of him in this moment, letting Elain set her level of comfort and pace here.

Trusting and hopeful and open:

Possibilities

Elain was ready to think forward, of the future, of the possibilities

Tied with her not knowing the darkest/roughest/morally grey parts of Az so she only has an image of him that's incomplete. Implies her desires for Az is incomplete because she doesn't know him wholly

Terrible...sacrilege...tainting...:

Possibilities

Az feels unworthy of goodness because he sees himself as unworthy of goodness

He idolizes Elain, putting her on a pedestal

He sees himself as not good enough for Elain, not even his presence is good enough for her. It corrupts, it taints, it stains.

He views Elain as innocent and pure, which in itself can be patronizing. We could point to the following excerpt from ACOSF

Personal note: I wondered, while reading this passage, if this was also directed at Az himself (I fail to remember the right terminology for this), because based on the bonus chapter he certainly believes he has a darkness Elain shouldn't be exposed to. So much so that he comments he knew she had no idea of his "unsavory" side, and the only way for one to truly know another is if the other person reveals who they are. He hid parts of himself, either because he thinks Elain is too good and pure or because he's worried of how she would react to who he honestly is. Either way, hiding parts of yourself is dishonest.

Immediate satisfaction. Here Azriel isn't thinking of a future with Elain. He has a desire he wants to see satisfied. After that? In this one moment, there is no "after that." Not to say there wouldn't be later. For now, there isn't.

{Side note on "Offer and permission": love to see on page consent.}

To be continued...

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

[Text: Tell me, what do you think of people actually liking the character development in season 4-5 and the show's treatment of mental health? [Redacted] thinks that and she's the mother of a teenager]

Re liking the show: I generally assume that they have poor taste and/or media literacy.

Re the mental health rep: I generally assume that they're incredibly privileged and/or ignorant.

I'm posting this as an image and not an ask response specifically because I will not participate in fandom drama or shaming. This blog exists specifically so that people can actively choose to engage in my content and so that I can post critical thoughts without dragging their source into some petty fight. So I'm not going to talk about the named individual. Instead, I'll replace them with the show's head writer and talk about him in a similar context.*

He's pretty famously denied that Chloe suffered any abuse, ignoring her obvious neglect, which came from both parents, just in different forms. When you pair that with how the show handles people like Gabe and Jagged Stone, we see a clear pattern of the show ignoring the devastating effects that abandonment and neglect can have on a person, especially if they're a child.

Now you could look at that and say, "The head writer condones abuse! He's a monster!" But I prefer to go the more likely route and assume that he's a privileged middle-class cis white man who has never had to deal with those issues or support someone who has, so he has no idea how to handle them properly or that they even need to be properly handled. There's every chance that he's a loving, kind man and a fantastic father who just happens to not be very good at writing a complex topic that he clearly has no understanding of or desire to learn about. I apply similar logic to fans who share his opinions. Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence or ignorance.

And all of the above is assuming that we're talking about someone who thinks that the show is objectively good or that the mental health rep is good, which are big assumptions. It's fully possible to enjoy a piece of media that you know is objectively bad or even "problematic" in some way.

Personal confession time: is Loonatics Unleashed an objectively terrible show that you should never, ever watch? Absolutely. 100%. Are Rev Runner and Tech E. Coyote two of my favorite characters who will live rent free in my head until the day I die? Yep! I pulled up a YouTube highlight real as I was writing this and those dorks still make me smile even though the show is terrible on multiple levels and I know that I'm not alone in that sentiment. Those two clicked with a lot of people for some reason.

A piece of fiction need not be good for you to love it and you don't need to justify your love for a piece of fiction if you're not claiming that it's good. Similarly, people hating that piece of fiction or pointing out flaws in it is not a reflection on you in any way shape or form. You can even agree with their criticism and still love the piece of fiction. This approach to media - loving a thing in spite of its flaws - is normal and healthy and I'd really love to see it make a comeback in younger fandoms.

Like, I cannot emphasize this enough, most fandoms consider it perfectly normal to have lots of fans who are critical of the source or who have even lost interest in the source for one reason or another, but they still like some element of the source enough to want to create/consume fan content for it. These more critical fans arguably make some of the best fan content because looking at canon and saying "That's nice, let me show you how I'd do it" often leads to some of the most complex stories that you'll see in fandom spaces. Stories that can often blow canon out of the water for TV shows and movies since fanfic isn't limited by budgets or studio policies or marketability concerns. Fans who think that the source is perfect tend to just write fluff or romcom type fics, which is not a dig! I love bother of those genres! But woman does not live on fluff alone.

Obviously there's some complexity here because who decides if a show is bad? Saying "it's okay that you like a terrible thing" can certainly sound like an insult and prompt a feeling of needing to defend the thing, which is why I don't fight with fans who like the show. There's really no need to convince them that the thing they like is bad. Do I think it is? Yes. Does it matter if they disagree? No, not really. At worst, they create stories with similar issues and, well, they're not the only ones and fighting with them isn't going to stop them. You're much better off focusing on creating your own good media and trying to get that popular. Heck, even if you made the head writer see all of Miracuous' flaws, it wouldn't change anything. The show is already made.

So, yeah, I don't really assume anything bad about people who think that miraculous is good. I know lots of wonderful people who have terrible taste in media and I'm still friends with them. I just don't take recommendations from them.

It's important to remember that, when you're online in a fandom space, a person is condensed down to a very tiny snapshot of who they are and judging a person solely off of their thoughts regarding a poorly written kids show is a dangerous path to tread. Like, looking at this blog, you might assume that I spend all of my time thinking about miraculous and obsessing over its flaws, which is very much not the case. I actually have this blog specifically so that I don't obsess over miraculous' flaws because I've found that, when something is bothering me, writing it down or talking to someone about it is the best way to stop thinking about it. Even then, most of my posts are reblogs of stuff I come across while browsing my tumblr feed, which is not solely miraculous content. I mostly interact with the show by creating non-salty fanfic that I honestly enjoy writing and find to be a relaxing, positive outlet.

It's human nature to judge and it's totally normal to think that a person's an idiot because of something they post online, but be careful to not lean into those thoughts too hard. At the end of the day, Miraculous is just a stupid kids show that will fade from the popular consciousness a few years after it stops airing. If it and/or the fandom are negatively affecting your mental health, then it's okay to step away for a while or use the block button. It really is your best friend. I enjoy being critical about Miraculous specifically because it's not that important. While I do think that kids deserve better media, I don't think Miraculous is some terrible evil harming the youth. I'm not horrified when a kid watches it, it's just not a show that I'd encourage them to watch and, if the kids was close to me, we'd spend a lot of time talking about the bad things that the show showcases from time to time. There are lots of episodes that are fine and I can think of way worse kids shows. Shows that tell their horrifying morals really well, making a kid far more likely to pick up on them and internalize them.

*Note that I only feel comfortable talking about the head writer like this because he's a public figure with an active social media presence AND because I'm not @ing him. If he was a private person or if he was not a professional creator, then I would not talk about him like this and even in that context I try to avoid it whenever I can. You can think that he's a terrible writer, but he's still a human being and, as far as I'm aware, nothing he's done deserves people harassing him.

I absolutely understand how devastating it can be to see a story you love get ruined by the creative team. The first time that happened to me, the life lesson I came away with was, "I will no longer put my happiness in the hands of another creator. I will enjoy stories, but I will temper my expectations and remember that they're just another human being and it's completely possible that their vision for this seemingly awesome story may end up being terrible."

[99corentine]

How To Write Good by Corentine

THE DRAFTING PROCESS, PART 2/2

Writing guide continued! Here's PART ONE.

STEP THREE: THE START, THE END, THE BEATS

I’m of the opinion that every story should start with a bang. You could start mid-way through a notable event, as seen in GHD:

- O L H A - D - V - The words, incomprehensible, rattle around his head like the last rumbles of a great thunderstorm. Then, much like after a storm has passed, the air suddenly feels clearer, sharper. A sludgy fog he didn’t even realise he was in clears from his mind and he blinks, confused. The first thing he sees is his own hands.

If you want it to be especially punchy, you can start with a line of dialogue or a short sentence, like I did for T4T:

CHAPTER ONE: It is the end.

It’s reeeally easy to lose readers at the start, so you always want to write a strong opener. Something that grabs the reader by the collar and drags them in to read the rest of the chapter.

You don’t need to have all the details, but you should have at least a vague idea of how the story ends. If you’re writing fanfic that follows along the same plot as a game or existing story, most of the legwork is done for you – so writing GHD, I planned for it to end when Alduin was killed. As I got further into the story, I came up with a more narratively satisfying ending, because it’s okay if the ending changes. As long as you have an ending in mind, you have something to work towards.

So GHD’s original, very basic plot was:

START – the Last Dragonborn wakes up with total amnesia

???

He saves Miraak

???

They kill Alduin together – END 

Now you have to map out those ??? parts by deciding the major beats of the story, i.e. notable scenes. This gives you something to work towards other than the ending. I ended up with notes like these:

START – the Last Dragonborn wakes up with total amnesia

Who is he? Don’t spend too much time on this, not important, can be answered later

Goes to Solstheim, meets Miraak

Finds a way to communicate with Miraak – sneaks into Apocrypha? Shares dreams? College of Winterhold has psijiics, use telepathy?

Finds a way to save Miraak

Go to Apocrypha, confront Hermaeus Mora, save Miraak

They look for ways to kill Alduin together

Hermaeus Mora comes for them

Prolonged recovery, tells reader that even ‘redeemed’ Miraak is still scary

They kill Alduin together

What happens after Alduin?

(Redacted for spoiler purposes) – END 

The story beats should ebb and flow like the tide; high-octane scenes should be followed by periods of calm. You don’t want to do this too quickly or the story will feel like whiplash; rather this is a process that happens over many chapters. Let’s look at some examples in GHD:

⇈⇈ Miraak dominates telepathy and is really scary!! ⇊⇊ Chry wanders around Skyrim doing errands and Thinking About Life… ⇈⇈ Chry breaks Miraak out of Apocrypha!!  ⇊⇊ They recover from the ordeal and have a honeymoon period… ⇈⇈ They go to Blackreach and it’s visually awesome, and also Chry gets jealous!! ⇊⇊ They do misc stuff for a while… ⇈⇈ They talk to Septimus Signus, Mora shows up, nearly kills Chry!! ⇊⇊ Miraak whisks Chry away somewhere to recover in peace…

You see what I mean?

Right, you know roughly what’s going to happen. Time to turn that into words, baby!

STEP FOUR: GOTTA START WRITING

My actual writing style is its own separate topic so I’m not going to tell you how I structure a sentence or anything, just my literal writing process. 

In my chapter document, I start by making a bullet-point list of everything I want to happen in the chapter. What happens can, and probably will, change as you actually get the chapter down. That’s fine, you just need a starting point.

I very rarely write individual chapters in order, as in start to finish. Rather, I tend to write the scenes I can picture clearly in my head – then by the time I’ve written those I’m in a writing groove and the gaps in the rest of the chapter will come easier. When I’m done, I’ll stitch the individual scenes together, which sometimes requires altering the scene start or end to make the whole thing more cohesive.

There are times when the writer’s block takes me, and I have like two finished scenes and just cannot summon the words for the rest of the chapter. When this happens, to be honest, the only answer I’ve found is brute force: I sit myself in front of the computer, get rid of phone/alt tabs/other distractions, and force myself to type something. Or I hold myself hostage (i.e. ‘I am not allowed to play more Baldur’s Gate 3 until I have written GHD chapter 47’) that works too, for me anyway. 

Whatever it takes to get something on paper. What’s mostly important is to get something written, even if it’s not very good. You can always edit, rephrase or even rewrite sections later. Usually I’ve found once you start writing, you get into a groove and then it’s no longer a chore.

I also aim for a certain word count / chapter length while writing. I know a chapter is exactly as long as it needs to be and blah blah, but I set myself a minimum wordcount to reach. Or if I go way over the word count it’s probably because I’ve waffled too much, so I either aim to split the chapter into two, or to ruthlessly edit it back down again. 

For GHD I average 7,000 - 9,000 words, but I actually think that’s a bit too long and risks losing people’s attention span, so for T4T I aim lower, about 6,000-ish. Less is perfectly fine, but if I’m reading another fic I find a chapter length of 2,000 words or lower to be disappointingly short. That’s all personal preference of course, and certain fics will lend themselves better to shorter chapters.

Although I jump around scenes within each chapter, I make a point of writing my entire chapters in chronological order. If I’m on chapter 5, and I know something awesome happens in chapter 12, it’s imperative that I do not write chapter 12 ahead of time. If I do, I’ll reeeally struggle to write chapters 6-11, because I have already rewarded my brain by writing the cool thing. If I hold off, my enthusiasm to write chapter 12 may in fact motivate me to crank out chapters 6-11 in record time.

I do have one other thing – in my Scrivener projects I always have a document called ‘Unused’. Sometimes, usually at like 2AM when sleep has failed me, I’ll get a really good idea for some dialogue or description. I scribble it down somewhere (or it will be forgotten for sure) and later I type it into my Unused document, so it’s just filled with random bits of text like this (note, everything you see here is unused, so it's not going to feature in the last chapter of GHD):

At some point in time I’ll peruse it and think ‘yes, this line!!’ and drop it into a future chapter – again though I just write bits, not entire scenes or I’ll have written all the exciting parts already. Anything I edit out of a chapter (i.e. a paragraph I liked but didn’t quite fit) gets dropped here too, in case I can reuse it later.

STEP FIVE: FINAL EDITING

I will be honest, I’m pretty impatient. Once I’ve finished a chapter, especially if it’s one I’ve been struggling with for a long time, I want to publish it now. So I’m guilty of not editing as thoroughly as I should – but this is what I usually do and it catches at least most of my mistakes:

As a first step, I copy-paste the chapter from Scrivener into google docs. Remember I said Scriv’s word processor wasn’t the best? Yeah, it’s no good at picking up on dodgy grammar, but google docs is, so I run it through there and skim-check for wiggly blue lines, then make the changes in Scriv. You may not have this issue if you’re using Word or another more comprehensive software

In my great excitement, I publish the new chapter to AO3. As I re-read the chapter over there, I see a minimum of 5 glaring errors I somehow didn’t spot in the previous steps, and hastily correct them before anyone notices.

Once I know the grammar is mostly fixed, I run it through a text to speech software to read it back to me (surprisingly Microsoft Edge has quite a good one built in called 'Read Aloud'). You'd be surprised how many mistakes you pick up this way. I’m looking for whatever google didn’t catch, wonky phrasing, repetition (i.e. I used the word ‘quickly’ twice in the space of two paragraphs, that sort of thing)

Sometimes I do a re-read with a fresh pair of eyes, anywhere from hours to days later. If I have the patience, of course...

I like to get at least the first 2-3 chapters of a brand new story written before I post anything to AO3. This is to make sure my enthusiasm doesn’t immediately wane and I actually stand a chance of finishing it. After that I’m rarely more than a chapter ahead of what’s been posted, because go figure I’ll post the newly-written chapter once the editing is done, then start on the next one.

Some people won’t even post a story at all until they have the first draft fully written. This is admirable, but not always realistic – GHD is like 375,000 words, you think I would’ve sat down and written all that before posting chapter one and even knowing if anyone would read it? Hell no. 

But while you don’t need a story to be fully written, you do need it to be decently mapped-out. I used to start fics with absolutely no idea where they were going to go; I’d finish 1 or 2 chapters, get really excited at writing that much and hungry for feedback, then post something that I would inevitably lose all enthusiasm for and leave unfinished.

So, know how it starts, know how it ends, and know the story beats in between so you always have a goal to write towards. There will inevitably be fics that you never finish and that’s fine – it’s all writing practice – but readers don’t like to be left hanging, so try your best to finish! Even if it takes ahem four years or so.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐

And there you go, that’s my writing process! I’m not sure how useful that really is, but if it was I could write more guides in future? I have…

A guide to my writing style (this one might be hard to put into a guide but people like my turn of phrase so, maybe useful?)

How I write a sex scene

How I write a fight scene.

[piracytheorist]

A few things about young [redacted]

The manga has only "teased" his appearance, up to the point that the anime has gotten, with no clear pictures of his face.

It's either not fully shown, or shown from too far of a distance to make for a "clear" picture. Maybe this last one could fit, but it's definitely no HD stuff, and that's deliberate.

Instead, the anime went like "we took these to forensics and told them ENHANCE"

the contrast between those two pictures, my god

Like, look. I'm sure there was a deliberate choice behind not showing him clearly at this point in the manga. But... I don't know if it would have hit harder in the anime if the first show we got of him was with half his face hidden.

Manga uses different techniques. You're meant to look at each panel for a few seconds, especially one as heavy as this. There's other details that catch your attention and make you realize the gravity of the situation - mainly, the dirt and the blood on this small child, with the sleeve of his shirt torn and an injury peeking underneath - that you don't need to fully see his devastated face to get the message. In fact, hiding his eyes is like it's leaving it to us to imagine how hard he's crying - and with the way it's presented, no-one is going to imagine anything mild.

Instead, anime uses other techniques, and seems to have toned down the violence (censorship issues, I guess?). There is no clear show of blood on him, though his shirt is torn in the exact same place. The smudges on his face match the ones on his shirt, and with the destroyed buildings around him you're more likely to think it's dirt and dust rather than bruises and blood. To make up for that, it uses animation to show this poor kid bawling and shaking with sobs in the middle of ruins, all on his own, while his hands keep hopelessly grasping and letting go of his shirt. Hiding his face would only confuse the audience, making us question why, what's the narrative importance behind us not seeing his eyes?

Now as to the second (and timeline-wise, earlier) flashback, I think it's very important that the anime tried to hit for the contrast; little [redacted] sleeping soundly in his mother's lap, then Twilight waking up in Yor's lap and freaking the fuck out.

Warm colours in the flashback to cold colours in the present. Flushed cheeks to a face half-dipped in shadow. Leaning on someone to jerking away from someone. Safety and trust to alert and distrust.

Idk man I just think that anime has the disadvantage over manga when it comes to how long you see something. In manga you can look at a panel for however long you like; in anime you may not have the option to pause, and even if you do anime is not supposed to be watched by you pausing every few seconds. And this contrast up there is important; it cannot be blink and you miss it, you need to see it clearly, you need to understand how the little boy that felt safety in his mother's arms became a man that doesn't feel safe closing his eyes next to someone even for a few minutes.

Even when it's clearly depicted that this someone reminds him of the safety he felt back then.

Sometimes, anime has to be in-your-face. There are times it cannot afford subtleties and vagueness.

So instead of doing what the manga did - showing his young self from afar and with very few details in order to communicate how detached Twilight is from that boy - the anime went HD on his face to point out the contrast between who he was and who the circumstances of his life forced him to become.

(And honestly, I don't think anyone complained)

(Anime-only fan here (idk if that's what you'd call me when I've clearly read the manga up the point the anime has gotten but that's what I call myself), don't spoil me for the (rest of the) manga)