#clearly im not lucid enough

[castkorb]

I made this post a few days ago and was asked for more input on Sting's character in regards to future Rogue so here's some more thoughts:

enjoy <3

Future Rogue explicitly says he killed Sting and took his power but I have my doubts about that:

f!Rogue said to Natsu that in one year from the games Frosch would be killed by Gray and thus his pillar would be gone and he would succumb to the shadow, meaning during Avatar Gray and Rogue would fight.

But Tartaros happened before Avatar, and during this arc we witness Sting and Rogue's first shown improvement after swearing change in the name of Sabertooth, which culminates in both of them killing Jienma and erasing Sabertooth's ugly past for good. also using a unique unison raid that only they can do <3

Which solidifies the fact that Rogue is no longer intimidated by his shadow because, as he said himself, Sting would be able to kill it. He no longer lives haunted by the thoughts of his shadow taking over him because he knows Sting will always be there to protect him.

But this obviously all happened in the good future where the world didn't end and now THIS is where the fun begins.

What happened in the bad future where f!Rogue is from?

If my memory serves correct f!Rogue later revealed that his plan was to open the gate of Eclipse to let dragons from the past in and rule them to overcome Acnologia, who would soon descend and raise the world into chaos.

Now I don't think he gave an exact date as to when would this be but, Acnologia did indeed appear later during Tartaros so we're going to assume that's when the apocalypse started in the bad timeline.

And let's rewind for a sec to what happened in the good timeline's Tartaros: Sting and Rogue helped Fairy Tail, saved Minerva and killed Jienma, which is a direct consequence of what f!Rogue did during Eclipse.

I explain:

What would have happened after the games ended in this bad timeline? Would Sting have accepted to become Sabertooth's new master? His resolution begins when he gives up before Erza and the rest during the final battle but I don't think he really makes up his mind about it until the dragons are attacking the city and he fights to protect his guild, both he and Rogue do.

It's not until both of them are fighting at the end of the world that they realise what made Fairy Tail the strongest guild, and even after having tecnically lost, this battle gave them something f!Rogue probably didn't expect.

It gave them hope.

So can we really assume they would've followed the same path had they not fought the dragons? I find it absolutely marvelous and poetic how f!Rogue, having lost all sense of compassion, hope and having nothing left but rage, wanting to cast his revenge in this new timeline indirectly saved him and his beloved from the horrors he had to endure.

Which brings me back to my first statement. In the bad timeline Sting was left with nothing after the games ended, sure Jienma was gone, he got Lector back and he had Rogue but what was he supossed to do from there on? Without the cataclysm of the Eclipse gate I assume he'd want nothing to do with Sabertooth again, or maybe he did, but then as Tartaros arrived maybe the guild had not yet gone through the experience of truly fighting along your peers to protect them, none of the guilds had. except, yknow, fairy tail but they're literally the mcs here

We can't forget that they were fighting literal demons here, plus Acnologia himself. -Again taking in mind the experience of fighting dragons had also not happened here-

You could also argue that the FACE project the Tartaros gates had planned might've actually worked in this timeline, which would result in over half of the population or more being left without magic to fight, it's understandable the world fell into chaos pretty quickly and a huge number of people died, as we saw in f!Lucy's timeline.

And Sting and Rogue were probably neither mentally nor physically prepared to fight all of this right after the magic games, they didn't have time to bond with their guildmates after Jienma died the same way they did in the good timeline, hell I'd even argue Sting was probably in a worse state because he got his emotional and physical strenght tested back then and there's no way he'd recover from that in such a short time with only Rogue's help.

Throughout the manga we see how Sting is the uplifting half of this duo, he's the one who constantly reassures Rogue and the rest of the guild, he's taken his admiration for Natsu and learned from it in that sense, but is bad future Sting like this? Is he able to smile and shine a path to the people he loves, is he able to fight for them?

In my head f!Rogue didn’t kill Sting because Sting likely gave up fighting or chose to sacrifice himself. that being to give Rogue another chance to live or because he knew one of them would die and he knew he wouldn't be able to live without Rogue is up to interpretation :)

And this proves to me that neither can live without the other, when Sting died f!Rogue either lost his mind and gave into grief not fully, he would after Frosch's death and took his powers in order to survive or to preserve a small part of Sting with him, which makes this shit sadder when his shadow fully takes over him and he's no longer concious of this, using his partner's power, the only power able to guide him and subdue him to kill without remorse.

f!Rogue said that Frosch was his pillar but I refuse to believe Sting is not a pillar for him as well, he may have fully lost against his shadow after losing Frosch but his relationship with Sting having ended simply with a "I killed him amd took his powers" I will not accept, Rogue lost half his heart when Sting died/was killed and Frosh was the last bit of sanity that remained of him after that, which was ultimately but not the only reason he wasn't strong enough to fight his shadow.

As you can see I have a lot to say about this arc and I would've given anything for it to be explored more but alas I've spent the last 6+ years rewritting the entirety of this manga in my head and I love to dive into the possibilities, like what could have happened if Sting had lost Rogue in that future? what happened to the rest of the Sabertooth's members? I can be here all day.

But anyways I feel I'm not good enough at expressing my thoughts in written form but I hope it's understandable enough? I'm growing more confident though so hopefully I can puke more nonsense about this two <33

[lexirosewrites]

I DONT KNOW HOW SLICK SUNDAYS WORK I JUST SEE THESE AND USUALLY LOVE THEM PLEASE IGNORE THIS IF ITS WRONG IM SORRY

Steve who thinks he’s a beta because the upside down shit started around the time he was supposed to present so it’s not until five years AFTER they defeat vecna that Steve presents as an omega, but instead of being able to be excited about his presentation he’s absolutely horrified because he’s been dating Eddie since they cleared him of the murder charges five years ago and Eddie, an alpha, ever since highschool has been very strictly a beta only man.

Steve spends the little of his heat that he’s lucid losing his goddamn mind, crying and sobbing until he passed out, throwing up multiple times, because Steve has always felt like he was unloved and never enough and he had only just gotten to the point where he felt like Eddie truly cared about him, but Eddie is very passionate about only dating betas, giving lists upon lists of reasons why he wouldn’t be able to date an omega.

and now Steve is an omega, which means he’s going to lose Eddie.

Steve, who’s always felt like he is not enough, can’t even be enough to keep the man he’s been mutually courting for five years who he’s been working up the courage to ask to mate with him. That’s how serious they are. Eddie is all Steve has left.

All the kids are in college or working on their careers out of state, Robin’s been in Italy for two years and those calls are expensive so he hasn’t been able to talk to his platonic soulmate and he can’t afford to call at this time of the month, his parents haven’t contacted him in over three years, all the Adults are off retiring in California living off their government hush money, all Steve has left is Eddie and now he doesn’t even have him because Eddie always says he could never love an omega. And Steve starts to wonder if Eddie ever loved him, seeing how strongly he was against dating exactly what Steve was, what if Eddie knew all along deep in his subconscious and never actually loved him the way Steve loved him?

Stricken with grief and early onset isolation sickness, Steve finishes his miserable first heat, and in the middle of a drop, packs all his things, and leaves Hawkins in the dead of night.

Cue a frantic Eddie trying to contact everyone in the party because his beloved boyfriend has mysteriously gone missing with no note and the police won’t do anything because all Steve’s things are gone too,

Eddie who’s only ever had a crush on one person, and it’s Steve Harrington, who’s always been a beta, so Eddie’s never even been able to imagine being with any other designation.

Eddie, who might be a little too passionate about wanting to be with a beta because he keeps getting comments about how an alpha should ‘never settle’ for a beta and Eddie wants Steve to know Eddie is not settling for him, but actually wouldn’t give a shit what Steve’s designation is as long as it’s Steve.

Steve ends up moving to some city in Colorado and working at a youth center, who only gets the job because most omegas won’t work there, so many of the teens are violent, especially towards omegas, but Steve was raised to be an alpha, then turned beta, and then fought monsters during his formative years, so after three scraps with angry teen alphas who don’t want an omega supervising them, where Steve clearly wins and shows dominance, all other teens respect him and start respecting omegas as a whole.

it kind of goes around town that Steve is a safe space, and Steve adopts a new band of kids and it doesn’t stop the chronic rejection sickness he got diagnosed with but it curbs the isolation sickness (he has to take hormonal medication to trick his body into thinking he wasnt rejected but it only kind of helps) , and at first Steve wants to reject his omega ness because he associated it with losing Eddie but the kids need a positive omega influence and Steve only sees his worth in his ability to sacrifice his comfort for others so all Steve does is take suppressants for his heat because he’s traumatized from how painful the first one is. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get to experience the joys of a heat he always heard about. He swears off of dating and rejects every alpha and beta who asks him out, though he does get with one omega briefly in a moment of weakness, mainly because he had long curly brown hair and he ranted to Steve about metallica for a full twenty minutes behind an omega-only bar.

Back in Hawkins Eddie has more then half the gang in his trailer as Eleven, fresh off a flight from the Himalayas, desperately tries to use her powers to find Steve, but she’s looking for a beta energy so when she briefly passes by an omega one she ignores it,

So the party knows Steve is missing and they’re all collectively losing their shit, Dustin ends up calling Suzie on the cerebro but she’s looking through beta documents so she never finds him either, it ends up taking an entire year and a half for them to exhaust all their options and for Owens to get back to them, Robin’s convinced the Russians took him, and Owens starts a manhunt in Russia that remains futile.

Almost two years in, Owens is finally able to track Steve down and tells the party that it wouldn’t have taken that long if they hadn’t lied about Steve’s designation, and that’s how the party finds out Steve’s an omega.

and Eddie, who knows Steve’s insecurities very well, realizes very very quickly just why Steve has left, and his stomach drops to the floor and Eddie himself goes into an alpha drop because of how terribly he feels, knowing that Steve in his most vulnerable moments was so convinced Eddie wouldn’t love him as an omega that he left his home, and hashes a plan with Robin to fly out to Steve and try to win him back.

LA dee da apparently some of the alpha teens Steve semi adopted are super protective of him bc theres a REASON they spend all their time at the center and not home, and they know vaguely that Steve was courting someone who wouldn't want him as an omega so when Eddie finds Steve he has to win the kids over before they even let him see Steve, and Steve freaks out the first time, locks himself in the janitors closet, and has a breakdown so the teens kick Eddie out and it takes like four weeks for Steve to be able to look at Eddie long enough for him to explain that he loves Steve no matter what and then they get mated THAT NIGHT because like fuck is posessive eddie going to let steve out of his sight again, it takes a few years for steve to feel comfortable allowing himself to have heats and the first few are too trauma riddled to be comfortable but then eventually he works through it

you did Slick Sunday exactly right!!

(slick Sunday is just a celebration every week where I post/repost a bunch of omegaverse stuff and reply to asks that people submit. steddie ficlets like this are more than welcome as submissions!)

ahhhh the angst here is delicious😭😭😭

[sweetlyskz]

Emerald Gem||Chapter Six

Chapter one|Chapter two|Chapter three|Chapter four|Chapter five|Chapter six|Chapter seven|Chapter eight|Chapter nine|Chapter ten

Hybrid!OT7 x Fem!Reader

Overview: Living away from society has its perks. All natural food from your thoroughly cultivated farm, no nosy neighbors, and peace and security with your animals. But sometimes you did get lonely, having no one to talk to but the cows and pigs. However, when 7 extremely wanted hybrids stumble upon your deserted farm, everything changes.

Genre: Hybrid Au, Strangers to lovers, slow burn, smut, fluff

Warnings: SUGGESTIVE, some language, harsh themes

Word count: 1.7k

A/N: Tags list is now CLOSED! Thank you guys for loving this pic <3 lots more to come soon!

Unedited

Your dinner was getting cold. For some reason, you couldn’t pick up the fork. Your hands were too busy gripping the table, bewildered by the sight in front of you.

“Are you going to come greet us or just sit there?” Yoon teased, showing that gummy smile you missed so much. The others were behind him, Jimin laid on Taehyung’s back. You could tell they had been through hell and back. Jin could barely stand on his own two feet, leaning on Hobi for support.

“I- what are you guys doing here?” You never thought you would see them again. Now that they’re here in front of you, you don’t know what to say. Even after all that time practicing what to say if they came back.

Im sorry. Please stay. I missed you.

Instead, you asked “Where’s Namjoon?”

The smile on Yoongi’s face quickly turned into a frown, telling you all you needed to know. Maybe you couldn’t do anything to convince him to stay, maybe Joon was just a lost cause- that’s what you tried to convince yourself anyway.

“I’m so sorry-.” You tried to apologize but Jungkook quickly shut it down with a quick embrace. As soon as you felt his arms wrap around your waist you were at ease. But once he pulled away, you yearned for more. It was just a second, but you still craved it nonetheless.

“Don’t apologize when you have nothing to be sorry for. He made his bed. Now he has to lay in it.”

“Speaking of beds”, Jimin interrupted, apparently lucid enough to speak clearly. “May I go to mine? I haven’t had a proper sleep in weeks…”The guys chuckle at Jimin lack of consciousness. It made you smile knowing they could laugh in dire situations. It comforted you, hearing Jimin call the bed his. It was his bed.

This is his home.

***

After eating dinner, everyone went there separate ways. They were probably looking forward to having a nice, cozy bed all to themselves. You laid in bed trying to rest, but your mind wouldn’t allow it. Yes, you were happy to have the six wanted hybrids back home, but every time you thought about Namjoon your stomach turned from worry. Apparently you weren’t the only one.

“Hey Y/n?” The Bunny hybrid stood in front of your bedroom door holding his favorite black and blue pillow.

“Hey Kook”, you leaned against the headboard, getting a better look at him. He looked frazzled, like there was something on his mind. You know that look all too well. “Can’t sleep?”

He nodded, making his way to the unoccupied side of the bed. He laid down next to you, getting as close to you as he could while holding his pillow to his chest.

“Worried about Namjoon”, he whispered into his pillow. “Never been anywhere without him. Im scared…”

You gently removed the pillow from his chest, replacing it with your warmth. Jungkook immediately relaxed in your embrace, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. You felt like home- nice and warm. You were familiar to him, someone his could call his. Yes, he had the guys, but he grew up with them so it was different. The bond he built with you was new, and easy.

You placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, rubbing his back soothingly. “I know”, you whispered. You of all people know what it’s like to lose someone. You know the feeling of curiosity, the feeling of wondering where your person may be.

“Don’t worry. We’ll find him… I promise.”

You continued to rubbed Kook’s back, soothing him to sleep. There in the darkness, you both laid. It was quiet- serene.

“How did we get so lucky?” He murmured, eyelids fluttering on the brink of sleep. “What did we do to deserve you?”

He fell asleep before you could respond, before you could find the words to answer him. But his question kept you up all night, looking for the right words. How do you tell the person you just met that you’re falling? How do you explain to him that it’s you who was lucky enough to find seven incredibly selfless people.

“You deserve the world”, you whispered, finding comfort in his unconsciousness. “All of you do..”

“I love you. More than you know...”

***

You expected jungkook to be gone when you woke up, but there he was- still laid in your arms. He looked peaceful. Even with the cuts and bruises on his face, he was beautiful. And there it goes  again- butterflies in your stomach. It was a feeling you haven’t felt in a long time. The feeling was warm and comfortable, but also scary.

But you couldn’t lay in bed all day, admiring all of Jungkook’s features. The farm needed tending to, and breakfast needed to be made. When you went to sit up, a pair of hands quickly pulled you back down.

“Don’t leave yet”, he whispered, sending a shiver down your spine. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“Kook”, you sighed, pretending to be irritated. “I’ve gotta go cook and feed the animals. You can come help if you want.”

He shook his head, pouting like a sad little kid. “Hobi already tended to the farm and Yoon made everyone breakfast. Now, lay down with me please.”

“Oh” was all you could say. You didn’t have any other excuse. The guys made sure of that. So you let him cuddle you, the way you did him. And for a while, you laid in his arms peacefully.

“You trust me tight?” Kook questioned.

“With my life”.

He scooted closer to you, putting his head in the crook of your neck. You could feel him breathing on you, making you nervous.

“Just trust me, okay?”

You nodded. “O-okay.”

Taking his sweet time, he placed gentle kisses from your neck to your ear. It had you squirming in anticipation, wondering where his lips would move to next.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now”, he breathed by your ear, running a hand up and down your waist. One hand made its way to your breast, messaging it through your night shirt. You gasp at the sudden feeling, giving him room to connect your lips with his. The kiss was soft and gentle, yet it still made you’re mind go blank. “Namjoon would loose his mind if he knew.”

You pushed away immediately after hearing his name. Namjoon, their pack leader. What would he think about the pack maknae comforting you in your bed? Your stomach turned just thinking about it.

“I should probably go check on the others, it’s a little too quiet”, you thought up an excuse, leaving a dumbfounded Jungkook in your bedroom.

***

As you walked down the creeky stairs, the aroma of pancakes and syrup surrounded you. When you entered the living room, four hybrids sitting on the couch devouring their plate.

“Oh! You’re awake!” Hoseok beamed. “Yoon thought we should wait for you to come down, but I couldn’t help myself.”

“It’s okay”, you smiled. The smell of the morning breakfast was making your stomach growl. Jimin scooted to the edge of the couch, making some room for you to sit.

“Here, grab your plate and you can watch with us”, he offered. The Saturday cartoons were on, Tae’s favorite. Tom and Jerry always made him laugh, and don’t even get him started on road runner.

“Sorry, I can’t. Lots of farm work to do. But let’s play a game outside later!”

Jin, lying down on the other side of the couch, pointed a finger at Hoseok. “Hobi already did it! The silos are full and the chicken coops are clean! I fed the animals too!”

The stairs creaked once more. Jungkook, with his doe eyes and fluffy hair, entered the living room. “Good Morning”, he greeted in his raspy morning voice.

You could feel the butterflies again.

“You sure slept well, didn’t you?” Jimin smirked. “You might want to adjust your self, kook. It’s looking right at me.”

He glared at jimin. “What are you ta- Oh shit.”

If Jimin didn’t say anything, you would’ve never noticed, but now you can’t unsee it- the tent in the bunny hybrids pants. The others laughed at him while you blushed feverishly. 

“What were you dreaming about kookie?” Tae teased the youngest.

“More like who was he dreaming about?” Hobi joined in. You couldn’t even think straight. Instead of joining in the taunting banter, you decided to quietly grab a seat and try to wipe the red off your face.

But Jungkook wasn’t going to let you get away so easily.

“Blame Y/n! It’s her fault”, He exclaimed with his back turned adjusting himself. Suddenly all eyes shifted to your side of the couch, and you could no longer hide your embarrassment. And with the embarrassment was also shock.

“I- I didn’t! We never-“ You stuttered trying to find the right words. Was there any right way to explain how you made their pack mate hard? Probably not…

“You worry too much”, Kook huffed, slightly irritated. “You’re our family now. I’m as just as close to you as I am my pack. You practically are apart of us now!”

You tugged at the loose string on your shirt, eyes on the floor as if you had just been scolded. “But Namjoon-“

“Joon will come around eventually”, Jin interjected. “He knows where home is. He’ll make his way back to us soon.”

***

The room felt cold, ice cold. And even though he hadn’t opened his eyes yet, he already knew where he was.

“No! Please, Not again!” Joon begged, body trembling.

The men in white lab coats laughed. “You���re lucky you still alive. We can keep it that way, too! Just tell me where the others are and no one has to get hurt.”

Namjoon laid on the cold white floors, gripping the metal bars caging him in. If the bars weren’t there, everyone in the room would’ve been dead, by his hand. Just hearing the sinister laugh of the people who hurt his pack made him want to tear them into shreds.

“Fuck you!” He spat. He banged and beat on the cell bars, but It was no use. He couldn’t break them. And now he’s in a situation he cannot escape.

And now he’s silently calling you for help.

Please, he begged. Save me!

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[obsessedwrhys]

Any ship headcanons for Niru from AFK Journey? Can be fluff, angst, anything :)

|| NIRU DATING HEADCANONS ||

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ fluff, angst (im a sucker for it), mention of death and killing, reader is gn (can be read as merlin or not)!!

For a soul collector, it's expected for him to be the quiet and serious type. That's why falling for you was the last thing he expected to happen.

He was simply doing his duty collecting the souls of a heavily wounded fighter. How he sees things is that it is better to put someone out of their suffering instead of feeding them the delusion of a possible recovery.

He was ready to approach them, his scythe held close in his hand. All he can promise is to make their death swift. And that's when you came in, running from wherever you were.

Seeing the presence of another person, he quickly hid in the shadows. You kneeled beside the man and began doing your magic. An unreadable expression was on his face as he watched you tend to the fighter.

The way you still choose to save the man even though he was on the brinks of death was... naive and yet, funny enough the guy managed to survive thanks to your aid.

Ever since that day, he wouldn't stop thinking about you, of the sight of you saving that man. There was just this indescribable feel of hope in you.

Obviously approaching you was the worst way to deal with his thoughts, that's why he came up with the idea of meeting you in your dreams.

And you didn't pay no mind to that because you yourself didn't know it was an actual person in your dreams talking to you.

Every night, he would always set out on adventures with you. Whether it be lucid dreams or not, he's just glad to be there. Watching you do silly things in your dreams was entertaining enough.

However if you had nightmares, he is fast to protect you. Sometimes he might just hold you in his arms and you'd always wake up in the morning thinking back to how real it felt.

Despite the fun times spent with you, the guilt of not telling you whole truth of who he was still crept up to him. Not to mention how he really felt about you... that's why he decided to tell you when the moment was right.

Scenario ↴ (this ended up being so long)

You ran across the field, enjoying the way the birds all flew away when you came even a step closer. It was another dream of yours but this time it was oddly soothing, no excitement no nothing.

That's when you turned around to see your dream friend sitting under the tree, the shade protecting him from the sunlight. It's a wonder how he manages to appear in all of your dreams but you figured it wasn't anything serious. Besides it's kinda nice having a friend to talk to at the end of the day, even if it's during your sleeping time.

You approached him, his scythe placed on the grass beside him as he's leaned back on the tree. He watches when you decided to sit beside him. Then you let out a sigh.

"Tired from playing?" He asks while you curled up into a ball with your arms wrapped around your legs.

"Just bored..." You said, looking out at the beautiful field of Golden Wheatshire.

"Bored?" He raises his brows out of surprise. This was not the reaction he wanted out of you, after all, this dream was his whole idea.

"Yeah..." You rest your head on your knees. He stayed quiet for a second as he looked at your expression.

Suddenly he looks away and joined you in staring at the golden wheat from afar. He's not showing it but he's clearly having doubts in his mind. Is it a good idea to tell you the truth? What if his friendship with you ends?

After what felt like centuries of hesitation, he finally spoke up.

"I hope these dreams have brought some beauty into your life, as they have for me..." You look at him and you could see a hint of fear in his eyes, like he's afraid to say what he has to say next.

"But I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I am not just a figment of your imagination, but a being that exists beyond the realm of your waking hours. I am a Soul Keeper, a Graveborn, and I have been visiting you in your dreams because I could not stay away..." He pauses, his adam's apple bopping as he swallows.

"During the times we've shared together, I have grown to love every aspect of you, and I can no longer keep my feelings hidden... Your soul is a beacon of light in a world that is often dark and cold. It shines brighter than any star in the night sky, and I am drawn to its warmth like a moth to a flame. I have never felt this way before, and it is a feeling that I never want to let go of..." Slowly he finally locks eyes with you, the muscles on his face are relaxed as he's practically giving you the heart eyes.

You tried to say something back but it felt like your voice was gone, no matter how much you try talking nothing came out. You frown, realising it was one of those dreams again. Seeing you struggle, he lifts his hand to the side of your face to caress your cheek.

"It's okay, I know this is all too much for you to comprehend... I am not a being that's alive... yet you make me feel like I have a soul again. So if you'd please, meet me here again tomorrow at night..." He said and at the same time you could feel your body starting to awake from the dream.

You try really hard not to wake up but eventually you did thanks to the sound of your companion banging on the door and shouting for you to wake up. You let out an exhausted sigh as you ran your hands through your hair. The thought of that mysterious being still in your mind.

Like the usual, you carried out your daily duties. But your mind was constantly distracted by what the dream said. Is it even real? What if it was all in your head? Night time came slower than anticipated, you were on your way back home with your companions until you finally made up your mind. Without giving anyone much of an explanation, you decided to head to the place.

From the distant you could hear everybody asking where you're headed but you just shouted back a simple "I'll be back"

There it is.

A small smile makes it to your face as you anxiously approach the tree. You sat down and looked around, feeling a bit awkward. Ah... did you really expect this to be one of those romances? You sigh.

"Tired again?" A familiar voice spoke that it sent goosebumps across your body. You quickly turn and that's when you saw him, walking out of the shadows to join you.

You never realised how tall he was. Seeing him in real life now felt so unreal.

"Have you given my words some consideration?" He stands before you while making sure he gave you just enough space to not make you feel uncomfortable.

"... I have..." You uttered.

"And to be honest... I'm excited to see what the future holds for us" Your answer catching him by surprise since from your tone, he had expected you to be against the idea. He smiles almost out of relief.

"As am I... Let's take this journey together, one step at a time"

Since he's very connected to spiritual world, you can trust every moment with him to be a moment to be remembered. Even if you guys are just chilling somewhere in the forest, it'd still be a soul fulfilling time.

He finds your height cute, he's like gigantic so there's no way are you ever gonna be taller than him 😭

"Agh... I've been breaking my back trying to kiss you lately..."

"I'M NOT EVEN THAT SHORT"

Now his kisses are gentle and tender. It's the kind of kisses that speaks louder than words. He enjoys running his hand across your back when you guys kiss because he can't help but smile everytime you chuckle from the ticklish feeling.

He enjoys watching you sleep, not in a weird way, it's more like admiration.

You both are laid down on your mattress, you were already fast asleep but he was still awake. He's laid on his side as he observes the gentle curves of your face. The sound of the soft whispers of your breath made him feel he belonged. He smiles slightly, wondering how he was so lucky to have scored you.

PDA? No thank you. Honestly, he does not want to be risk seen in public at all. He's a Graveborn and he doesn't want to risk his relation with you to be the reason you're getting harassed by people.

But it's fine, he doesn't care if everybody views him invisible when you see him clear as day.

However, dating this man isn't all rainbows and sunshine. He has major PTSD from his military days.

I'm talking constant triggers and nightmares about the lives he's failed to saved.

You are always the one to be there for him and he never realised how comforting it is to be able to go through one of his episodes with someone there to remind him of the good times.

Head boops? YES. He just gives me black cat vibes.

Cuddles is a must have. I think he prefers being the big spoon for obvious reasons 🤭

You have once try to hold up his scythe and he was fast to take it from your hands when it was too heavy for you to bear. Thankfully nobody got hurt.

Since he used to be a doctor, he just has this instinct to always make sure you're healthy and well. If you ever get hurt, he's already there to take care of you.

Nicknames? He calls you my flower or my person, maybe even sweetie when he's in a really affectionate mood.

Now just because he's kind towards you that doesn't mean he's not such a big tease. He's so mean with it too.

Also did I forget to mention how flirty he can get?

"Niru, can you help me get the sugar?" You'd ask as you're by the kitchen counter preparing to bake.

You simply wait for him to get it for you when suddenly he cups your face, you bat your eyelashes at him a few times out of confusion.

"We ran out of sugar... how about we use you instead?" He jokes to which you smack his hand away with a laugh.

You probably don't realise but he keeps the letters you write to him everytime he's away. So when he's feeling a bit down, he'd just take it out and read it to make himself feel better. The reminder that he's truly loved.

1000% GRIM REAPER SHI

[alicentsgf]

Maybe its because im the middle child but the way people romanticise Viserys only caring about and truly acknowledging Rhaenyra to the detriment of his younger children makes me see red. even Rhaenyra looked horrified when he called her his 'only child', so fans reveling in it irks me. people love to blame Alicent for the way her children turned out and on god she is not a perfect mother but Viserys is by far presented as the reason they're so fucked up.

Past Aegons infancy we never see him interact with his sons except to yell at them. Aegon literally says he always felt his father didnt like him, let alone love him. and sorry but Viserys was so inadequate in the aftermath of Vhagars claiming. Aemond was plenty in the wrong but not even nearly as much as other children, he WAS attacked first and only hit back once he was hit. plus it was 4 on 1. but Viserys never chastises his grandsons directly for any of it. imagine how unloved Aemond must have felt... is it any wonder Luke and Jace are better men when they had not 1 but 2 or 3 loving father figures to Aemond and Aegons 0.

And then theres Haelena. im not sure Viserys is even aware he has another daughter he only acknowledges her existence in the scene where Rhaenyra suggests the betrothal to Jace. meanwhile Alicent (who was a teen mom with preganancies forced on her via marital rape btw) is judged for struggling to be a good mother to these children her husbands actively destroying with his neglect. she doesnt understand Haelena but she sits and listens and tries to connect with her. she is the only one who fights for Aemond (even if her outburst did more harm than good). and while her treatment of Aegon as a teen leaves a lot to be desired, he clearly feels like she is the only one who actually loves him, despite not rly liking him a lot of the time.

Viserys was not a good king or father. he failed all his children, including Rahenyra. he was weak and selfish and easily led. he put Aemma through unimaginable pain without her consent even though she was definitely lucid enough to make a choice herself all because he wanted a son. then he named Rhaenyra heir because he wanted to make himself feel better about it. he trapped Alicent in a marriage purely because he wanted the 15/16 yr old best friend of his daughter, he literally admits this to Rhaenyra - that he chose Alicent over Laena because he /wanted/ her. only to neglect the children they had together because he couldnt be bothered with them. the sucession crisis could have been avoided if he'd actually cared about anything other than his own feelings and desires.

[blushyeleven]

Tickletober - DAY 1

Anticipation

ITS TICKLETOBER!! AHHH, im gonna try my best to keep up with all the fics😭 all of them have Jenna Ortega in them.. js maybe as a different character💀 but anyways.. happy tickletober everybody! <3

characters: lee!enid x ler!wednesday

Warnings: tickles, threats

𝑹𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓

“I’d sleep with one eye open if I were you” the sentence that left chills running down enids spine. It was inevitable. Enid couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about her ticklish fate. The biggest problem was it could be any day, any hour, any second. So she took Wednesdays suggestion, and infact, did sleep with one eye open. She shuddered at the thought of Wednesdays revenge. She knew it was coming but she just didn’t know when and that thought scared her the most

Naturally, she avoided Wednesday as much as she could, keeping small talk only when necessary and always being aware. It was Wednesdays favourite game, anticipation. She evilly snickered in her own head when she saw that enid was being extra cautious around her. It brought her some twisted joy in a way. Enid knew she was going to get tickled. Just a matter of when.. and where.

Wednesday wasn’t acting any different then she normally did, which scared enid more. She was just her normal, dark and monotone self. Almost like she forgot about her little devious plan.. but enid knew better. This was all a facade in her warped and sadistic game.

Enid was never one to absolutely hate being tickled but it was a little hard to be excited about something when you didn’t know it was about to face you.

Enid came through the wooden door to her shared dorm and quickly threw herself onto her bed. “Hello enid.” Wednesday replied, not actually facing the werewolf. Instead she was sat at her desk. “h-hey!” Enid stuttered slightly. “You seem a little.. shaken up.. you okay?” Wednesday asked with a twinge of evil in her voice, smirking to herself. “yup!.. all is fine!” Enid tried her best to not look intimidated by the goth girl, but Wednesday didn’t even have to look at the girl to know she was panicky. “Okay.. if you say so.” Again, the sinister tone lingered in her voice. Wednesday was clearly taunting the poor girl, she found it amusing.

2 days past and enid was still tickle-free. She was beginning to ponder how long this would last for. Did Wednesday really forget? (spoiler alert: ofcourse she didn’t) well, only time would tell. To tell the truth, enid was usually a very heavy sleeper. But with this awakening nightmare, it caused her usual heavy sleep to become very light and lucid. Quickly tiring enid out. A silly mistake really, but enid decided to go back to the dorm and have a nap. Just to recharge herself and bring up her energy levels and it was a bonus, wednesday wasn’t there. And it was soon enough before enids eyes closed and fell into a peaceful sleep.

Until she jolted awake at the sound of a door shutting, she didn’t know how long she was passed out for..but there she was, the goth pigtailed girl herself. “wow, somebody’s jumpy..” Wednesday mused seeing the startled look on the blondes face. “yeah I-..” enid rubbed her eyes. Not feeling as tired. She was right, the nap did help.

Until Wednesday looked at enid, her expression was unreadable as she started walking closer. Enids eyes widened and nervously shuffled back in her seat untill Wednesday was practically infront of her “Wednesday! I’m- I- I’m sorry!!” She clenched her eyes shut waiting for the amazing dreaded feeling to start.. but to her surprise Wednesday reached out her hand to fix a strand of enids hair that was sticking up. “You really are skittish” Wednesday smirked. Enid let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding “I wonder why..” Wednesday ended that rhetorical question with a squeeze to werewolf’s side, causing her to jump and let out a squeal.

That’s when the blonde realised, the imaginary timer above her head had reached 0 and Wednesdays just smirked and began squeezing at her side rapidly. Enid fell into squeaky laughter, trying to bat at Wednesdays hand. “Wahahait-“ “for what?” Wednesday mused and then climbed on enids bed and started scribbling after her sides. Enid squirmed and kicked but it was no use, the pigtailed girls hands still managed to find their way onto her sides. “IHIHIM SOHOHORRY!!” She shrieked. “I accept your apology enid, but no good deed goes unpunished” wednesday replied mischievously. “BAHAHAHAHAH!!” Enid was barking out laughter and thrashing about. Wednesday then moved her evil fingers up to enids ribs. “poor puppy has been nervous around me for 2 days, well, your getting what you deserve now” she cooed. “YOHOHOUR MEHEHEHAN!” Enid exclaimed through her helpless giggle fit.

“Well, can you blame me for believing in revenge?.. although It took a while.. this was definitely worth the wait” Wednesdays tone was extremely teasy, it was worse that all her words were spoken flatly with an edge of playfulness. Making enids face react with a pericing blush, painting her cheeks. “AHAHAHHAHAHAHA I CAHAHANNTTT!!” Wednesdays fingers then crawled their way up to enids armpits, clawing mercilessly at them. “BAHAHAHAHHA NOHOHOHO!! AHAHAH! DOHOHONNTT!!!! STOOHOHOHOHOPPP!!” Enid was howling with laughter, just letting it flow out of her mouth and filling the air. “Don’t stop? See.. I had my suspicions that you liked this and I guess I now know for sure” wednesday smirked and watched enids blush intensity. “SHUHUT UHUP!! YOU KNOHOW I DIDNT MEHEAN IHIT LIKE THAHAT!!” Enid tried her best to put up a protest and protect her secret, but who she was trying to pretext her secret from was the problem. If Wednesday wanted to find something out, she would. Plus it was painfully obvious. The blushing, the smiling the provoking. It was all little signs that enid did infact enjoy being tickled.

“well.. I wouldn’t put it past you.. it seems like something you would enjoy” Wednesday stated, skittering her fingers against enids stomach. “WHAHATS THAHAT SUPPOSE TO MEHEAN?” If she could, enid would look fake offended right now, but it was practically impossible through her outbursts of laughter. “It simply means that tickling is just something you, out of all people, would find enjoyable” Wednesday rephrased her statement. “SHUHUT UHUHHUPP!!” Is all enid could reply to that because it was true. Wednesday could pull the truth out of anybody. She was basically a walking, talking lie detector. And then came the dreaded question, the question that nobody could avoid. “Am I wrong?” The goth girl replied smugly. Enid thought it would be better to not reply then to agree with her so she just let herself laugh “now, I would say your silence is deafening but it’s not silent if your giggling like a toddler.” Her smug tone drove enid over the edge, it some how made her more ticklish. I guess Wednesday just had that affect on people. Untill suddenly Wednesdays hands moved back to enids armpits, seeing as it brought out the best reaction of her. Digging her black painted fingernails tigjt into enids hollows. “BAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH YOUR EHEVIL!!” “guilty as charged” Wednesday knew she was cruel. She never denied it or was upset about it. She actually enjoyed it. Enids laughter soon became more stretched out and breathy, her eyes watering. All classic signals that showed Wednesday her victim was close to their breaking point. Wednesday was cruel and cold-hearted, but she wasn’t that sadistic, not towards enid anyway. She saved that kind of sadism for her bother, pugsley. “AHAH.. AHAAHAHA… BAHAHAAH” enid was desperately trying to catch her breath through her hysterics, her glassy eyes letting water drip out of them slightly from laughing so hard. And that’s when Wednesday stopped. Retrieving her hands and letting enid sit up. The blonde girl was gasping for air but had the stupidest smile wiped across her face. To which Wednesday rolled her eyes and got up from her vibrant rainbow bed “I hope you’ve learned your lesson” she then started walking back to her side of the divided room. Enid was left sat there, breathless.

“Oh and sinclair, if you try to exact another tickle attack on me, I’ll lock you in my secret dungeon and leave you to rot” enid shuddered at that and didn’t attempt to tickle Wednesday again.. (another spoiler alert: she lasted 4 days, and ofcourse Wednesday got her revenge.. again..)

[kurim-chis]

Why does Blade want to die so badly?

Is being immortal to the extent he is really such a bad thing? Xianzhou natives also eventually start losing the will to live but they have hundreds of years before living becomes stagnant, and Im sure Blade started seeking death very early on comparatively. Is he so disgusted by the concept of immortality that he wishes to just off himself? It’s hinted that when he first got on the ship that he zealously built weapons and stuff as if he didn’t have enough time, so wouldn’t becoming immortal be something he could - eventually - learn to control? Why just outright seek death?

Let me list out some possible reasons.

1) He abhors the loss of control as an abomination of abundance. Without Kafka’s spirit whisper, he’s just a mindless monster barely clinging to rare moments of lucidity and his pride won’t allow him to live like an animal.

2) He’s lost something that made him lose the will to live. Or had his belief broken. Perhaps he had accomplished what he sought out to do in Xianzhou and wanted to die, but was them turned into an immortal, which furthered his obsession with dying.

3) Past suffering still torment him endlessly. Kind of like how Avengers are forcefully reminded of the source of their hatred and rage so they don’t stop being an Avenger in FGO. For example, the pain Jingliu inflicted on Blade still haunts him and it serves to somewhat trigger his anger and violence.

4) Humans aren’t meant to understand what it meant to overcome death. The mara struck soldiers are just mindless tree/flower abominations, but even they can’t go farther than a second death unless they have a continuous source of abundance. The monsters that don’t die easily, like ebon deer, are just monsters. Perhaps being dragged back to life when he clearly felt death thousands of times has drove Blade insane. It warped his mental state and he just wants to get it over and done.

5) The abundance has wronged Yingxing personally in the past, he had a grudge against them which is why he went to research stuff with Imbibitor Lunae. Becoming one of the things he loathes just wasn’t it.

6) Self-hatred. Of the five, three have to pay a price. First is Dan Feng, second is most likely Jingliu, and if Jing Yuan isn’t it and the Foxian girl is not it, then the last one is Blade. They all committed an unforgivable act and yet they all are escaping the consequences of their sins by virtue of being immortals, and that goes against what Blade/Yingxing stands for. Blade loathes himself as much as he loathes Dan Feng and Jingliu. He will try to kill them for as long as he is alive. (Though clearly his death >>>> Dan Heng or Jing Liu’s death.)

why does bladie wanna die? idk

[funsize-cenobites]

Small thing I've noticed in my Freelancer arc rewatch that I'm sure someone- maybe many people- has already brought up. I'm not sure if it was intentional or just down to Shannon's performance but I kinda love it regardless-

In the moments when Wash has had enough and snaps at someone. When his voice raises and he's impressing on them just how stupid something they said sounded or how idiotic they're acting. In the brief moments before he wrangles himself back into control and masks the stronger emotions:

His anger and annoyance really really seem to mirror Church's.

And this is why I can't be sure whether or not it was intentional. Outbursts like this are already a staple of RvB's comedy and each character has their moments like this. However while rewatching Reconstruction and hearing both Washington and Church in tandem, I can't not notice it. It feels like a very subtle not subtle nod to their connection. One you only really recognize after having the context.

The pitch and way their voices crack- even the flash fire immediacy of it- when they snap just feels so eerily same-ish.

But at the same time, with Washington a lot of these moments feel almost like an intrusion. As if he genuinely hates that it happens. Its always immediate, like Church's outbursts of impotent rage, brief, and he tries to cut it off as quick as it comes. He always seems to try and return to monotones pretty quickly.

It doesn't feel out of place persay- we see Washington in later seasons pre-Epsilon and he's plenty capable of getting upset and yelling, but it doesn't feel... the same. I could be misremembering how Shannon and the writers characterized him during PFL but at least in rewatching now and knowing all the little eccentricities abd details they wrote into the show back then, post-Epsilon Wash's moments of frustrated anger feel like a bleed. It feels like that aspect of Epsilon- probably one of the strongest Wash felt aside from pain and fear- has been hard to shake.

Which is where I go more into speculative territory?

Because with all we know from the end of Reconstruction: Wash suffered most of the trauma from Epsilon in silence so the Councilor and Director wouldn't know.

While he clearly had some kind of initial break from reality- likely a fairly awful catatonic state with bursts of semi-lucidity and confusion- Wash managed to keep at least some semblance of his shit together. I assume by leaning hard into dissociation and derealization both as a coping mechanism and a way to protect himself and that little bit of Epsilon forever imprinted within him.

Epsilon is Memory. He is The Cycle incarnate. He lives, ironically, whether or not his AI form survives because of Washington. Because he gave it all to him. Epsilon is just a part of Wash now, forever. That part of the fragment that is stuck in time, trapped in place, and suffering.

And I gotta stress this bit: Wash could have said something, but he never did.

I do think its because he realized that the suffering of himself, his team, and Alpha, couldn't be for nothing.

I do, wholeheartedly believe that even in insanity, even after being devalued and mocked by his team (Despite clearly being good at what he does? Hes on Carolina's team. Hes on the MOI with the Director. Hes pretty consistently high on the leader board!) and presumably, abandoned by them... Wash listens to Epsilon. He has such empathy.

I promise all this has a point, Im not JUST spouting Agent Washington propaganda- though it is also that.

I just mean to show how complex I see their relationship, both incredibly, painfully brief yet lifelong. We didn't get to see how long exactly they were together before Epsilon tried to destroy himself but it was long enough for Wash to listen and to care.

It was long enough that Washington became a survivor after losing Epsilon, but... wasn't he always? All that changed was that now he had a Purpose.

As far as his compassion and empathy goes, even later on with Wash never wanting his mind violated like that ever again; even with him never being okay with putting another AI in his mind casually. I don't think he truly hates Alpha or Epsilon. I actually think he has the most empathy for Epsilon out of anyone because lmao, who else could know him more intimately?

I like to think in his own way, while taking the only chance he had, Epsilon begged Wash for help, to be avenged and remembered.

Epsilon probably knew they wouldn't delete him. Probably knew being implanted was the only chance he had to destroy himself while ensuring the mission of vengeance lived on. He begged Wash for help, knowing damn well that what he was doing was breaking Wash too.

Passing on the trauma. Starting another cycle of harm like the Director before him.

But you know? Despite all this being my own current thoughts/opinions on it, I kinda love thinking of it this way. I love that Washington... breaks that cycle eventually.

He finds a home with the Blues. He loves all the sim troopers and eventually realizes that he's hurt each and every one of them. Then he spends the rest of his life trying to make up for it.

In that way, moreso than the death of the Director or dismantling of PFL as a whole, I think Wash did do right by the Epsilon in his head. His Epsilon. And by proxy, himself. Because- circling all the way back to the original idea of the post- you can't have one without the other anymore.

[waywardstation]

I don't post a lot about any of my writing or story bits about my characters often myself (if ever, im horribly shy about my writing skills ;w;), but the process I follow sounds similar to some of the others who have sent asks about the same thing to you!

Nothings linear when I plan or write things ever, it all comes randomly when it wants to show up I can never force it, the way it works for me is if I have the story or plot point I want to improve/add to in mind, I kinda just let my mind go on autopilot, to think, I don't think. I put my music on shuffle and if a song gets the right vibes, the idea builds off that to draw it out, and usually I imagine different scenarios and interactions with the song (its always very vauge like a mixing pot of potential) and just go about working or cleaning, even sleeping as I got good at lucid dreaming years ago, and THEN, the braincell connects juuuuust right and I get a whole dialouge session or a complete scene thought up that I hastily scribble down to just have the key words or lines to hold it there. I have notepads and mini sketchbooks everywheres with bits and pieces of story, lore or character creations in them. My poor phones note app needs to be sorted very badly XD

Another way I learned to get ideas or character development improved on is to talk/type it out to a friend that knows about the thing in question and just, type or talk! Half of any current ideas I've gotten lately have all been half formed until I had gone and typed up an entire wall to explain things, and as I'm doing so, more smaller pieces, or even HUGE pieces I didn't think of before become known all of a sudden that fit into place perfectly! It's just like Rubber Duck Debugging for people who type codes for software and websites. If something breaks or they can't find the issue they talk to a rubber duck to hear themself back and then that usually helps find the problem because they no longer have to see the code like they have been for god knows how long, they can hear it instead and they pick up on the bug that way!

Also just like Warden Anon, I too see everything you've written like a movie being played out in my head, it helps you describe your scenes and interactions very very well to be able to easily visualize what your portraying! XD

Some folks can see what your writing just like it's a movie and some folks see it just as the script but still have that same understanding, or its just a haze. It's called Aphantasia! There was a trend going around about how clearly you can see an apple when you think about it with your eyes closed not too long ago!

What a thought process OP!! It’s so interesting to hear about; I’m simultaneously so similar but so different from that. I will listen to music as well (it has to be instrumental though, no words and very quiet. I have tinnitus, so it needs to be just enough to dull the ringing) and just sit down somewhere secluded; I can’t do other things like you do - though wow, you’re lucky you can lucid dream so easily!!

Talking can help so much too!! From getting help from beta readers, to publicly sharing concepts on this blog that others can help me walk through, it really does help a lot!! I should do it more, though - the rubber duck coding comparison is a good way to reemphasize why it’s so helpful!

And that’s so good to hear that my work can actually be visualized!! I can’t really visualize it myself ^^ I’m not quite sure I can articulate what it’s actually like to me, but it’s definitely not like a movie, or any clear visuals of any sort. I realized that when my brother brought up an aphantasia test, asking me to visualize an elephant a few years ago ^^ It’s interesting how brains work like that!!

Thanks for sharing OP!!! Loved hearing your thoughts and reading about what you shared!!

[tsui-no-sora]

I've been plagued with a thought for the past week and I cant sleep because of it so now you get to hear it.

(Also I'm writing this before I go to sleep so sorry if it doesnt make sense)

im thinking about cDream in prison, completely out of it and very not lucid, probably running a fever, no actual coherent thoughts, starting to talk to Sam and accidentally giving away information he'd rather keep to himself. But it's not actually useful information like an actual line from the revive book or his future plans. It's his feelings, mostly, that he's kept to himself for so long and come spilling out like water out of a broken dam when he's not conscious enough to stop them.

It starts out with small things; he talks about missing sapnap, George. Asks Sam if he could call them there. Then it's how much he misses the sunlight, the stars, fresh air and waves. he keeps rambling when Sam comes in to clean the cell, change the cauldrons water, maybe to give him food. He doesnt want to listen, it's another trick to get sympathy from him, surely, Dream would never let himself be vulnerable, even like that.

Sam never pays him any attention, never responds or even looks at his direction, never rewarding him with the response he clearly wants. Tells him to shut up a few times even, and Dream mumbles an apology that's barely heard.

Until during one of Dream's ramblings, talking with slurred words about how he "misses Alyssa, Bad, and Ponk..." he mentions that he misses Sam. Says it so easily, like it doesnt make the warden stop in his tracks, all attention focused on him for the first time.

Dream slurs on about how Sam gave him potatoes and gave him clocks when he burned them - "I burned my clocks so he'd come talk to me," he interrupts himself with a sound close to a giggle, "He- he had to give me a new clock, and he'd... he'd give me clocks, but then he didn't." Dream turns to look up at the wall, at the empty item frame and his face scrunches up with an emotion Sam can't name, "He... I don't have a clock." He looks sad "oh.."

Sam actually starts listening then, unable to stop himself. "We made the community house and I made the basement, we had a golem too." And Dream laughs, he always laughs like nothing's wrong when he's like this, his voice is raspy and it must be hurting to speak. "We had a farm on the water and George and Sapnap were fighting and I stopped them." He sighs, "I want to see Sapnap. Can you... can you call him here?"

So yea I have been thinking about this for so long and I kinda wrote a mini fic here, sorry about that, I actually wrote more but cut them because it was getting too long but. I'm thinking about him talking about how he had to be the villain and why he had to wear the mask so they could be a family and slowly revealing more like the fact that the betrayal with punz was staged and how he built the prison for himself, that it was him who was supposed to be there from the beginning and I'm going mad.

Goodnight and also take your time to answer I know how stupid school is :/

I have basically read this and re read this a dozen times since you sent it because I can picture it so well and it hurts

The idea of c!Dream who can't and won't ever give up the most crucial information but who's still tortured and desperate and lonely

Who as time passes opens up to say things he normally wouldn't

And c!Sam who straight up refuses to believe him because it's way too much on him if he does believe him

It's so good dude I love this

Now I am also thinking your thoughts I am consuming them now

[neonpaperlanterns]

I should sleep right now... But I wanna ramble one last time before I hit the hay.

So we already know nearly all of the smiling critters are dead. What we don't know yet, or may never know. Is how the crew broke up in the first place.

Did Catnap turn against them off the bat? Did they never actually get along and sought different areas all for themselves? Did PickyPiggy eating or trying to eat their friends put them all in a paranoid mess?

... That last bit actually opens up something else I wanted to ramble about. PickyPiggy... Clearly went after their fellow smiling critters. Though that alone isn't really a lot to say on how successful that was.

If they all are the same size and body structure, if not similar. Then it would be a difficult fight... I imagine she DID eat someone, but only could get a PART of one or two others.

It hit me when I listened to the cutouts again. Piggy (somewhat) states what condition they were in.

"Roast beef" I'm no animal guy, so Im not sure which critter best fits "beef". But they were most likely burned whomever they are. My best guess? A unseen side character from their show given a toy product of their own. Bear isn't exactly beef and nether Dogday nor Catnap fit the bill. A unknown bovine character?

"Grilled Chicken" another one burnt. But not roasted, grilled. Grilling something is a lot faster than roasting something. So Picky had more time with the "beef" fellow than with the Chicken. Maybe could only get a little before having to flee from something? Got to taste grilled "chicken" at least.

"Seared elephant" another critter cooked. Piggy likes to cook if this is the pattern. Once? A fire somewhere, simple accident. Twice? Something fishy but possible, thrice? Pattern if you ask me.

"Flayed Unicorn". *Crafty doesn't have a death scream at the end of her cutout.*. Flayed means to tear the skin off... Crafty is somewhere in the factory, missing her "skin" and Piggy ate the "skin" as that's all she could get. Otherwise she got a part off her "Flayed unicorn" before Crafty escaped, somehow.

... Not a lot of information, but enough to paint a picture we already know. Just... Gives it more color... It gets even worse when you think about the fact most of them were children before becoming these Smiling critters.

-Sunny Anon.

I always saw the roast beef comment as a way to lull the player into a false sense of security before the true horrors.

Though I do enjoy the idea of Picky attempting to cook her prey. It shows an odd amount of patience and maybe even the slightest hint of lucidity.

I have to imagine at one point they were together but I can see infighting, paranoia of both Picky and Catnap, and guilt splintering them apart. But not before at least one Critter goes missing under mysterious circumstances. Either Picky eating them or even Catnap handing them over to the Prototype.

Also I feel like a bit of a downer but even if Crafty got away I don't think she would have survived very long. We don't know how durable the bigger bodies are against infection. I can see her trying to get help maybe even going to the medical ward we saw in chapter two but I can't see her making it out. Either she goes down because of sickness or someone else takes her out before she can get any form of aid. They are also children so I don't know how much knowledge they have to even treat wounds like that. I'm an adult and I don't know much beyond the basics.

[shrm-p]

WW2 Alien Invasion (Nov 3, 2023)

The whole purpose of this dream journal thing was because I heard doing this would help me achieve lucid dreams more often. Turns out thats untrue, you just keep your brain active mentally while you let your physical body rest, you'll hopefully be mentally awake enough mid-dream to active lucidity. But anyways, since then I've had senses of deja-vu a few times while having particular dreams, I just write this off as having had those particular dreams before in the past, before I started writing them down. This is one of them.

Aliens are invading earth, starting at this specific valley which also happens to have a population of WW2 era platoon of soldiers for whatever reason. We have a head start before the actual invasion begins, the valley has been abandoned for a while so the begging. Is just everyone running around getting everything up to snuff for the invasion, I specifically remember a train with a big gun that was so heavy it can only be transported via railway. The first battle begins in a system of mine-shafts and tunnels. Im pretty sure we lost because we got flushed out by a big horde but also I killed a bunch of aliens and didn't die so its a win for me personally.

After the battle at the miens the sun begins to set, I followed the aliens retreating force and found there queen taking a shower in the village during night. She's having a conversation with another (more successful) alien queen and also 3/5 of the horseman of the apocalypse (who are also aliens). After eavesdropping, I introduce myself and I got to ask a few questions, turns out they are on earth because there home planet of “Idris iris idel” was blown up by a rival species throwing a meteor at it, so now they just kinda roam around and conquer galaxies so they don't go extinct. Which also isn’t going very good because they supposedly have entire galaxies by dead alien hives that just dried up all the resources or something.

The dream ended a bit after that but I did draw some of the things I saw.

Basically this is what the queen looked like, the dress she wore was kinda sorta apart of her body, like it was the same color of her skin and was clearly attached to her. Also ignore the color thing, thats my terrible attempt at replicating the alien grey that was her skin color, it was much closer to the alien emoji grey.

And this is what the horseman of war looked like, super tall buff dude, much like the alien queen his armor was apart of his body.

and yeah thats it.

[robert-edwin-house]

FNV Arcade + Boone + mr house react to finding the courier crucified and heckling the legion below them

i have one ask in my inbox im working on but i need to write this, i might make a part two with others but idfk

The courier was always a tough nut to crack- and an avid wander. At first when the courier disappeared into Legion territory, their friend was nothing more then annoyed. When a week went by with no updates and no legion bloodshed then they worried. Searching near Nelson they stumbled upon a gruesome scene. A group of legionaries surrounding a crucified courier.

Craig Boone

From his distance he could only make out the legionaries pointing and laughing. Through his scope he watched for a moment, hesitating and remembering. Slowly he raised his sight to the poor soul on the cross, preparing to free them from their torment.

It was Six. The solider nearly dropped his weapon, shaken- horrified. Not Six. It couldn’t be Six. When he checked again Boone noticed Sixes almost lucid laughter, and the sudden hostility of the Legionaries below. Dispatching the legionaries with haste, Boone nearly tripped down the mountain towards the Courier.

“Took yah long enough.” Six cheekily said, though their tone turned more serious, “You okay, Boone?”

Only then did Craig feel the tears on his check, and shakiness in his hands, “You scare the shit out if me sometimes.”

The courier laughed drily, the desert air reeked of dried and fresh blood, “Just get me down.”

Arcade Gannon

“Oh my god-“ The doctor quickly ducked into a bush, covering his mouth.

He had just walked up a hill, and then finally noticed the legion on the other side. Thankfully they where facing the other way, towards a cross, with Six on it. Fuck.

Arcade watched with horror, freezing up completely. Listening to the legionaries belittle a silent courier. Judging from his postion, Six wasn’t doing so hot, the ropes used to hold them down where clearly days old, and covered in blood- fresh and dried.

“”The great slayer of the ceaser” so easily crucified for our amusement-“ Acrade couldn’t take anymore, would the best option be to free Six from their misery, or to try and fruitlessly free them.

Six started laughing causing the ex-enclave to freeze once more, “What? This is the best you can do? Put me on some sticks in the air, to boil in the sun?”

Arcade shot the nearest legionary, disintegrating them into a puddle. Swiftly dissipating the others, the doctor practically flew forward. Grabbing Sixes top left arm restraint, and a scalpel in his lab coat.

“Oh my god- Did you plan to get crucified by legionaries or was it a spur of the moment type deal?” Sarcasm, anything to keep himself from freaking out more.

“Would you stop cutting me down and leave me to die if I told you I sort of expected this?” Six sheepishly smiled, sweating in the hot sun.

“God. God Six. You’re the dumbest person I know. What the hell.” Arcade didn’t stop cutting his dear friend down however, despite being a dumb fuck, they where his best friend.

Mr. House

His courier was a master mind- the second battle of Hover damn proved it- So House found it hard to believe they could have been crucified by the fragments of the Legion. However his sectitrons reported Six crucified, and jesting with them.

“You’re all pretty pathetic you know, I’ve been up here for nearly four days now and you still have yet to come up with a decent-“ Six was rudely interrupted, when their audience was mowed down by a single secititron with Robert House’s face on it.

“Logically, Courier, you had only a 2.6% odds of being crucified- even if you came in here with your bare fists. Why in the world on you on the Legion’s mockery?” A slightly stressed if not rude Mr. House snapped, rather quickly shooting off the courier’s bonds, dropping them to the hard rocky ground.

“For fun of course! They happen to be my favorite pass-“ Sixes retort was cut off by their own coughing.

Despite all their show of strength they where still human no- cyborg? House verbally rolled his eyes, picking the weakened Courier up.

“I expect a full report once you’re stable, don’t think this isn’t coming out of your paycheck.” Now it was Mr. House’s turn to jest. Despite what he said, no caps would be deducted from the Courier’s funds, he honestly did care about this reckless crazy mailman.

[cdroloisms]

Dream tried to stop Wil from creating L'Manburg, Phil tried to stop him from blowing it up, BOTH value people over items and builds, Phil has said that they're replaceable but people aren't, Dream traded spirit for his best friends fishes (we kno he's not someone to talk abt feelings:[) BOTH were kind and selfless but used by almost if not everyone, BOTH were ready to be THE VILLAINS if it meant everyone else could live better after. ONE of them always had someone there, ONE didn't. Intentional?

aaaa sorry for the really inconsistent posts ,, im gonna try to post a little more in the next few days. i have a few things written up, so look out for them? maybe? for now, have this *gestures vaguely* thing ,, it’s kinda a mess but *shrug*

phil is such a fun character, anon, especially for all the reasons that you mentioned in the ask!! he’s a really fun character with a lot of complexities that go (sadly) overlooked by a large portion of the fandom, but he’s super cool even tho i havent analyzed him too much. hope you enjoy (and i hope my interpretation of c!phil isnt too ooc lmao) 

tw: mentioned blood, injury, implied torture/abuse, starvation, trauma, mentioned death, prison arc/pandora’s vault

When Techno first brings Dream back from the prison, Phil doesn’t quite know what to think.

“I don’t trust him either,” Techno assures him, but there’s a flickering anger in the backs of his eyes, one that had emerged ever since he came back from the prison with the other man in his arms, and Phil knows his friend well enough to know that the words are empty in the face of the piglin hybrid’s particular brand of to-the-death loyalty. He shakes his head in reply, refusing to voice his thoughts for Techno’s sake, at least, but the look that the other slants at him suggests that he’s caught onto them all the same.

At first, the work is thankfully mindless; even if Phil has reservations on the man that Techno has more or less dumped into his house, he would hardly wish the clear suffering he’s been through on anyone. The first few days pass in a flurry of brewing potions, wrapping and rewrapping dressings, stitching up cuts and setting broken bones straight. The damage is extensive; Phil has to take more than a few breaks to just leave the house and breathe - he’s far from a stranger to blood and carnage, had received the title of ‘Angel of Death’ for a reason, but even he had never been particularly familiar with this form of cruelty. Torture was a level of violence that extended beyond what even he was willing to bestow - his hands may have caused many deaths, and the weight of each one would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life, but even those had the mercy of being a quick end. The wounds and scars that ripple over Dream’s skin, thin and stretched tightly over his bones with little muscle and fat left to cushion them, speak of horrors that were anything but merciful.

“I didn’t know they were capable of all of this,” Techno says, once, as they huddle of Dream, wringing towels in cold water to wipe his feverish skin. Techno’s hand reaches for the ribboning gold-filled scars that remain from the execution - carefully, Phil raises his hand to let his fingertips brush over them as well. “I mean, I knew he was dangerous and all, but-”

“I know, mate,” Phil looks back at Dream’s face, tight even in unconsciousness, at the darkened, hand-shaped bruises that remain around his throat, at the scar that runs over his left eye, clearly meant to mirror the same one that makes its way down the duck hybrid’s own face. “You said that Quackity and Sam were working together?”

“Yeah,” Techno’s expression darkens, eyes focused somewhere on the wall, seemingly very far away. He said that nothing happened to him in the prison, and he seemed relatively unharmed when Phil activated the stasis chamber, but ever since he came back, sometimes he’ll have moments, and Phil can’t help but - wonder. “Quackity does the dirty work, Sam gives him the way in and out, probably also the tools to do it. It’s-” he huffs a short, self-recriminating laugh. “It’s bad, Phil.”

“Mate-”

Techno shoots him a look, and Phil cringes, knowing already that he’d used the wrong tone. Even with the execution, Techno had been adamant to hide all traces of his own terror and fear away from him, masking it all with fury for Phil’s own sake. He knows, just from the way his old friend looks at the ribboning scars that remain sometimes, that he is far from as over the whole ordeal as he acts, but Techno never wants to talk and Phil never knows the right time to ask and they smooth it all behind plans and explosions and hope that the TNT can blow apart the trauma, too. He’s got a sneaking suspicion that the same thing is going to happen, here.

“As soon as we can,” Techno starts again, pointedly shifting his eyes away from Phil’s face, “we’re calling a Syndicate meeting to figure out what we’re going to do about the prison. Like- come on, man, you couldn’t make a more transparent abuse of institutional power if you tried, really-” he looks over, uncharacteristic uncertainty warring over his features. “If you think that’s good, I mean-“

“Of course, mate.” Phil’s voice softens. “Whenever you’re ready.”

‘Whenever he’s ready,’ as it turns out, is easier said than done, becoming even more evident when their charge wakes up from his days long spell of unconsciousness. The worst of his injuries have, under their careful care and the benefit of many potions, healed enough to no longer directly threaten his life, but the vast majority have quite some time to go before being healed completely. Being as the goal was torture and not death, most of his injuries weren’t made to be life-threatening, but rather to cause as much pain as possible - from the grimace that twists Dream’s face when he struggles to force himself awake, they’re doing their jobs.

“Hey, mate, slow down,” Phil murmurs, pressing the man down by his shoulder when Dream weakly tries to push himself up and off the bed, and his struggling only lasts for a few more minutes before he gives up and slumps against his pillow, eyes cracking open and seeming surprisingly lucid.

“Where-“ his voice is wrecked, and Phil reaches for the glass of water at the bedside as Dream coughs. “Where am I?”

“You’re at Techno’s house,” Dream’s eyes widen and then slip closed as he processes the information, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows as they knit together. “We broke you out, after Techno escaped with a stasis chamber with your book. Do you remember?”

Dream gnaws on his bottom lip. “Um- yeah. I think.” His head turns as his eyes crack open again- “Techno-“

“He’s out, right now. He’ll be back in a bit.”

“Oh.” Dream falls back into the bed, strength seemingly sapped from the short conversation. His breathing stutters, then steadies. “Okay.”

Recovery is slow. Phil doesn’t actually find himself seeing the man very often; now that he doesn’t need around-the-clock care anymore, he’s moved back into his own house, letting Techno do most of the work when it comes to rehabilitating the escaped convict crashing at his house. As he begins to spend more of his time awake and aware, he brings a whole slew of new problems; Phil catches him screaming one day, blurting harsh, angry words as Techno reads, unbothered from the other side of the room, and he stops in his tracks standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Um-“ he winces when Dream curses, smashes something against the floor, and then curls into himself at the sound. Techno doesn’t even flinch. “Am I interrupting something?”

Dream stomps away, face flushed, arms wrapped around himself. Techno raises an eyebrow.

“You lookin’ for something, Phil?” he asks, and the unpleasant knot in Phil’s chest refuses to unwind.

The episodes, unfortunately, don’t seem to get much better. Though he’s rarely outright violent, Dream looks constantly murderous, usually muttering underneath his breath about something or another while he stalks the grounds of Techno’s house. It’s not too long before Techno sends him out to work around the house instead of just moping within the cottage, which also means that Phil sees him a lot more - tending to a small farm behind the house, feeding the dogs, hacking away at mobs, and usually complaining the entire time. It’s unnerving, even as injured and unarmored as the man is, to see him walking around like this; despite his rather pathetic appearance, swamped in sweaters that dwarf him thoroughly and thin enough to look like the slightest breeze will knock him over, his eyes are flinty and intelligent and bubble with promises of revenge.

“FUCK!” Phil turns to see him slamming a shovel into the snow, stomping away into the woods, and his hands tighten around his cup of tea. Next to him, Techno shrugs.

“Nerd’s got a few issues,” he drawls, and Phil laughs shortly.

“That seems like an understatement.”

“He’ll ease up in time,” Techno sounds surprisingly confident, completely content despite the muffled curses that come from the woods next to them. He’s probably used to it, with Chat and all, but Phil can’t quite seem to find the same calm.

“I just don’t know, mate,” Phil shakes his head. “You sure having him around is the best idea? He doesn’t seem...stable.”

Techno looks up at him over the rim of his cup of coffee. His head tilts, considering, but there’s a small smile on his face that tells Phil that Techno, inexplicably, doesn’t share the same sentiments. There was always a part of him that was, for the lack of a better word, softer than the rest of the server for his self-proclaimed rival, a sort of understanding that Phil could hardly hope (nor would really want to) understand.

“Don’t worry, Phil, if he tries anything I can always just tie him up in the attic or something,” Phil huffs a small laugh, amused, and nods to concede the point. “And- well, call it intuition. You could really try talkin’ to him, you know. He reminds me of you, sometimes.”

The words stick in his head despite his best efforts, rattling in his skull when he tries to sleep, lingering when he catches glimpses of the green-clothed man stalking around their properties. He can’t imagine what would’ve prompted his old friend to make the comparison, can’t think of a single thing (besides their affinity for the color green) that would mark him as similar to the - from what he’s heard - deranged menace with a particular penchant for destruction (not that his rants and fits of anger are doing anything to correct that impression). Even so, Techno had sounded so sure when he’d made the comparison, the words offhand like he’d thought them a million times before, like it was a simple observation that held no more weight than commenting on the color of the sky. Phil watches as Dream lugs a pile of logs behind him, huffing at one of Techno’s dogs that comes to chase and nip at his feet and grumbling loudly before faceplanting into the snow. He just...can’t see it.

Days later, Wilbur comes to visit, a grin on his lips as he dramatically recounts his newest exploit: a nation by Las Nevadas, a supposed safe haven away from the glitter and glory of Quackity’s city; it sounds brilliant, it sounds lovely, and more than anything it sounds stupid, and Phil tells him as such immediately.

“You’re being reckless,” he rants at his son, wings flaring outwards and only barely noticing Dream watching from the corner of his eye, “What are you doing- picking fights with Quackity? Starting another nation- didn’t you see what happened to the first two you made? You’re going to get yourself killed, Wil!”

“Well, I’ve already seen what’s on the other side of death, and it’s really not that bad-“

“You’re my son!” The words are angrier than Phil would’ve liked, and he knows that he looks ridiculous and overbearing, criticizing the actions of his fully grown son, but all he can see is Wilbur’s face, slack with pain and grief, stained with ash and soot as his eyes flutter to half-mast in the midst of the rubble of a country he loved and destroyed and destroyed him in turn. “I can’t lose you again, Wil!”

Wilbur doesn’t quite storm out, but it’s a near thing, leaving with a clipped goodbye and leaving Phil seething on his doorstep. He spends the rest of the night pacing around the house in a sort of mad frenzy, wings stretching and folding over and over. Not for the first time, he longs for the sky, to feel the air through his wings and let the world fall into pinpricks below him; it’s this that leads him to the roof of his house, staring stubbornly at the clouds as the sun sinks down to the horizon.

“Hey.”

Phil startles; there, down below him, is Dream. He rocks back on his heels, seeming awkward, before clambering up the wall (Phil rolls his eyes at the ease with which he scales it, the feeling in his chest almost fond) and settling himself on the shingles at Phil’s side.

“Hey, mate,” Phil shakes his head. The fondness leaves, and the irritation that had risen at Wilbur’s words, earlier, comes back full-force. “Sorry- Wil came to visit, we talked. I just needed some time to think.”

Dream hums in acknowledgement, and they fall into a comfortable silence, watching as the sun dipping down past the mountains in the distance.

“You know,” Dream starts, sudden, “I told him the same thing.” He looks up at Phil, eyes faraway with old memories. “Wilbur, I mean. When he made L’manburg- I told him he was being reckless.” He shrugs. “I guess he never listened.”

Phil pauses, Techno’s words ringing in his ears. He reminds me of you, sometimes.

Dream looks surprisingly normal up close - face no longer reddened with fever or pale from blood loss, even the scars fail to really take from the boyishness of his face. He bites his lips, eyes falling away at Phil’s scrutiny, golden blond hair flopping over his forehead, newly trimmed to be something a little closer to his old length, at least in the front, the back pulled into a small ponytail. He’s young, and shockingly awkward, teeth worrying his lip, hands fiddling with each other, shifting his weight from one foot to the other several times a minute. He looks like a kid.

“He never does,” Phil lets himself smile, watches as Dream smiles back, almost like they’re sharing a joke. He wonders how well he really knows the man behind the mask. “Want to come in for some tea?”

Dream smiles wider, and something old and worn in Phils chest, knocked loose ever since he felt his son fall limp in his arms with his own sword shoved between his ribs, falls back into place.

“That would be great,” Dream replies, the words almost hopeful, and they go inside.

[faemytho]

all four aces, cookie run, some sort of pairing within the COD with possible pm shenanigans (haha ace joke here)

send me four random card numbers/faces and their corresponding card suits, AND maybe a ship/fandom im into and ill talk abt it using the AO3 card deck!!

cookies of darkness. fixing a problem, diverging from story to fix the problem, gen fic so no romo, and a drabble!

spoilers for the end of CRK world 14!! poison mushroom is an adult.

queerplatonic if you squint!! not meant to be read as familial, but take it how you wish. i dont care what ur hcs are.

word count: 815

As Dark Choco turned his back upon the ruined throne room, Poison Mushroom couldn't breathe. No, this was wrong, Dark Choco should not have been walking away, and yet, he was. The cursed Sword of Blood he carried clattered down against the floor, and the world in its usual purple haze became uncomfortably lucid and vividly clear.

Pomegranate was saying something, her usual silvery composed voice strained with the blood that soaked her robes, strangled with held back screams of rage. Poison Mushroom couldn't hear it. All they could see was Dark Choco turning away from them, turning his back on them. In their world of perpetual haze, never once clear, his turned back and parting words were the most lucid things they had perceived in years upon years of Dark Enchantress's service.

"No, Dark Choco," they found themself pleading, almost begging, nearly stumbling after him. "Dark Choco, don't leave, don't go-!"

"Poison Mushroom, don't-!" Licorice's voice, though muffled behind the furthering cape of the Dark Cacao Prince, broke through their thoughts. A hand yanked at their robes, pulling them back away from where they had been following after him. "No, stay here, we have to leave, Pomegranate's hurt!"

Poison Mushroom turned their gaze away from the leaving prince, looking up at Licorice. Perhaps it was different for him, shunned from the Dark Cacao Kingdom for his dough. It was why he followed Dark Enchantress, who promised happiness for all cookies beneath her reign. Their gaze turned to Pomegranate, clutching the fabric of her robes against her bleeding wound. Perhaps it was different for her as well, who gladly left her own home to follow Dark Enchantress for reasons not even they had been able to discern.

Dark Choco had been forced to follow Dark Enchantress. Under the influence of crimson magic, darkness swayed his heart and forced him into believing he was following the right path. But now, the prince was leaving, choosing for himself what was right and what wasn't. He was leaving Dark Enchantress, leaving the small circle of people that Poison Mushroom had come to think of as their friends.

Because while Pomegranate left her home, Licorice sought revenge, and Dark Choco was forced to stay, Poison Mushroom simply had nowhere else to go. They followed Dark Enchantress because she offered them a home. She offered them respite. She offered comfort in exchange for their servitude, but seeing Dark Choco leave was enough to tip the scale. He was finally choosing his own path. Why couldn't they?

"No," Poison Mushroom said, lucid enough to speak clearly, and shrugged Licorice's hand off. "I don't want this anymore. Aren't you tired of this? Doing whatever she wants with no results, endlessly struggling to achieve her goals?"

Licorice stared at them from where he supported Pomegranate against his side, his pale eyes wide. He looked lost, frightened, confused, and Poison Mushroom shook their head.

"What on Earthbread are you blathering about?" Pomegranate hissed, though her crimson eyes were just as shocked and wide as Licorice's.

"I'm tired of following her ideas, her plans, her bright ideal future. Maybe I wanna build that future for myself."

With that, Poison Mushroom turned away from Licorice and Pomegranate, and began to follow after Dark Choco. Maybe he would tell them to leave him alone, but it would be worth a try. They had always wondered why Dark Choco stayed, and now, they had the answer that he wouldn't.

"Wait, Poison Mushroom!" Licorice called after them, and they turned. The dark sorcerer was shrugging Pomegranate, loyal, blinded Pomegranate, off of him, leaving her to crouch with her injury on the ruined floor of the Black Citadel's throne room. "I'm going with you!"

Perhaps, in their siege against the citadel, Licorice had found what he was looking for. Perhaps the storm in his heart had calmed, the storm that made him follow the very culmination of dark power, the way Poison Mushroom had when she'd offered her hand and a home to them all those years ago.

Pomegranate was left injured on the floor of a ruined throne room, surrounded by enemies of her own making. As much as Poison Mushroom wished she would turn against Dark Enchantress as well, they knew her too well to know that she wouldn't. They wished she would come with, but they knew she would stay loyal to Dark Enchantress. They knew she considered Dark Enchantress far more important than any relationship she had with the enchantress's other servants.

It saddened them, but they knew her enemies would be merciful. The cookies of light would not harm her, nor crumble her. She would be safe in their hands, as much as she would hate it, and that was enough for them.

They took Licorice's hand, and caught up to the retreating prince, and despite the uncertainty ahead, all was right in the world.

-

-

-

[michaelmilkers]

an odd question perhaps but did you ever deal with internalised transphobia or have doubts about transition and if yes how did you get past it?

found this in my inbox idk how old it is so sorry for not answering it in a timely manner lol but anyway

yeah a big hurdle for me with top surgery was self doubt. tldr on the context i went to a very small high school (like 30 people in my graduating class) where everyone knew i was trans and i didnt really have to explain myself so i didnt feel the need to bind or anything but when i moved away for college and started interacting with the world at large i started to realize that having breasts was dealing a major blow to my self confidence and comfort with myself and just my physical existence in general.

and when i realized that and started looking into it it made me so so so uncomfortable and i couldnt figure out why. but through conversations with my therapist she helped me realize that i didnt think i deserved it. since it wasnt debilitating dysphoria that sent me into panic attacks or kept me from leaving the house i just kept rationalizing it and thinking i could get over it, even though i did that for years and i never ever did. even though they didnt cause me horrific dysphoria i constantly felt like i was living and being myself in spite of my breasts and thats just a very emotionally taxing experience.

so i finally realized that and worked through that and then i found a doctor and scheduled a surgery date and then i was hit with this whole new wave of anxiety. not at all about the surgeon or the work she did, dont get me wrong, i wouldnt have chosen her if i had any doubts about that, but i was so afraid of anything about the entire experience being less than perfect because i was afraid of being anything but completely satisfied and overjoyed. because i felt that if that happened i would be a ‘bad’ trans person because im somehow proving that medical transition is bad. thats obviously a massive stretch but i have ocd so this kind of downward logical spiral is kinda common for me.

this was really hard for me to deal with and honestly the best advice i can give is to visualize what happiness looks like to you because thats the only thing that got me out of my counterproductive thought process. i had to visualize what i knew would bring me joy and comfort and peace while also realizing the road to get there is organic and can be unpredictable. rn im six months post-op and i do not regret it one bit. there are even parts of my results that arent perfect just because of the healing process, like theres a part of my scar that is wavier than the rest, and when i raise my arms my armpits look a little different because my natural breasts were different sizes, and if i could wave a magic wand and fix those things i’d obviously do it but i seriously just dont care at all. all of my fears were completely unfounded. and i knew it literally the moment i woke up after the surgery and was lucid enough to actually think semi-clearly because i experienced a feeling of peace unlike anything i have ever experienced and i hope that every single trans person can experience that feeling at least once.

i visualized what my happiness looked like and i did what i had to do to get there. for the record i dont regret the years i lived with breasts, because it gave me enough experience and knowledge to know for sure that that wasnt the way i wanted to live. a hard part about being trans is that our lives are so hyper politicized that we internalize the experience of constant judgment and thats what held me back. but youre not here and doing what youre doing for anyone else’s approval or agenda, and the only person who can decide whats best for you is you. it probably wont be an easy or straightforward decision, and its something that should be examined and picked apart but questions you can ask yourself about transitioning or surgery or whatever else are: 1. will this improve my life? mental wellbeing, self image, physical comfort, social interaction, etc 2. is there something holding me back from doing this? is that something internal or external? 3. are there things i’m afraid of? what are the likelihoods of those things to happen? and if they do happen, what can i do? 4. how would i or my life be different (positively) if i were to do this thing?