#college is a big decision but know that it's okay to make mistakes. it's not a thing that's for everyone and it can feel especially daunting

[munsonsreputation]

am i allowed to cry?

steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: [2.8k]

warnings: cursing, allusion to depression and anxiety, reader nearly has a mental breakdown over the stress of work/school/and life, steve comes to the rescue don't worry (honestly just wrote this because seasonal depression combined with school and work and life is real as fuck and we all need some comfort), also semi proof-read, sorry!

summary: it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, something too heavy for you to bear all alone, but you do, anyway. and when you finally collapse under pressure, the last person you want to worry is your boyfriend steve, but he’s your safe space, and all he ever wants you to know is that he’s going to be there for you through smiles and tears.

The fatigue settled under your eyes and in the depths of your bones like a heavy weight pulling you down. There was an exhaustion seeping from the inside out, eating you alive until you were merely a shell of yourself. Your stomach twisted in knots unsolvable even with the help of sleep or tea—you felt beyond defeated with no way out.

It didn’t matter where you were and how ‘fine’ you thought you were. The feeling of dread became embedded into your entire existence and it was getting harder to keep up the act and blame it all on school or work. Perhaps it started there, but slowly and surely did the feeling morph into every avenue you steered towards in order to escape.

Your hangouts with friends suddenly turned into an inner panic attack of sorts, feeling the need to keep up with everyone who was doing so well whilst you were barely making it out alive.

Family dinners then turned into interrogations, where they poked and prodded probably with the best intent to figure out why you were so absent, but it all just felt like an attack coming from left and right.

No matter how hard you tried to keep up the facade of being fine and telling everyone they were making a big deal out of nothing, you knew you were moments away from falling apart. At this rate, you were a machine breaking down piece by piece, rusting and stalling until you couldn’t move anymore.

And the absolute last person you wanted to shrink away from was your boyfriend, Steve.

He was the most supportive and present person in your life you could have ever asked for. He never doubted you in anything, and most times he was the one egging you on to go after your dreams. Telling you to take risks and go for it, because you always succeeded in everything you did, and even when it wasn’t on the first try, he knew you were bound to get a hang of it.

A special trait about him that you adored so much was his trust in you. He knew what it was like for people to always question his worth, to try to make it seem like he wasn’t capable or smart enough to make his own decisions so much so that other people had to step in and save him. But to be fair, Steve Harrington never needed to be saved—he just needed the right people around to show him it was okay to make mistakes and learn from it.

And you did just that.

When Steve didn’t know what he wanted to do after graduation, you never pestered him on to go off to college, committing himself to something he wasn’t one hundred percent certain about. Instead, you encouraged him to find his calling, to scour town in order to find different hobbies that had potential job opportunities. To volunteer and possibly shadow in order to widen his options.

You were always supportive and did your best to guide instead of control—and because of that; he was able to find a job that made him happy, surprisingly enough.

And likewise, while Steve never was the biggest fan of structured school, he guided you through your college path. Providing all the moral and emotional support he could offer you, and at times even going as far as to reading a textbook chapter alongside you to help you understand concepts that were all too confusing.

He never pushed too hard, and never made it seem like he didn’t care. There was a perfect balance between your understanding and his—a sort of tune that always was in perfect harmony…until it wasn’t.

You had been assuring Steve that while school and work were surely kicking your butt, you had it all under control, but that was far from the truth. Date nights were seemingly pushed back…not that he minded since he understood you needed to study and rest—but things were beginning to feel more off.

You avoided having him stay the night at your place or even just stopping by to drop you off some food. When you did spend time together, you were physically there, but not mentally. You listened intently to what he had to say, but when it was your turn, you shared little about what was going on with you, and diverted the questions back to him.

A lot of the time, you just seemed out of it. Too far away in your mind for him to reach you, and while he knew everyone had their off days and even off weeks, yours was becoming imminently permanent, and you were beginning to realize it, too.

You sat hunched over at your desk, eyes welling with tears as you stared down at your notes, then back to your textbook, then back to your notes once again. Nothing was making sense, and your patience was slim to none, batting your eyes as the tears fell onto the pages where you were too fed up to care.

Your mind was scattered all over the place, thinking about how you needed to make sense of the content in front of you, but also about the many deadlines of other assignments you had under your belt. On top of that, you had other responsibilities that needed your full attention, yet you sat there wondering how you were even going to complete one of them.

There was something that snapped inside of you. A guttle cry that you let out as you pushed yourself out of your desk chair and stood with your hands threaded roughly in the roots of your hair. Hot, vicious tears floated down your cheeks while you paced in circles attempting to calm yourself down, but nothing worked.

You needed Steve, even when you didn’t want him to see you like this.

He was at your doorstep not even a whole ten minutes after you had phoned him, asking if he would drop by. It was almost midnight, and usually at this hour your nose was buried deep behind textbooks and assignments, but he could just tell something was the matter.

He had asked rushed and worriedly, if everything was okay, but you refused to give him a definite answer, just sniffling back your cries and humming, telling him to come over as soon as he could. The drive was short, and yet for him it felt like eternity until he was face to face with you on your front porch.

“Baby,” His voice was rigid yet gentle, striding closer to you as his warm hands came down to hold your arms, “Hey, what’s going on? Are you hurt?” He breathed, half catching his breath from his haste, and half worried out of his mind.

He bent a little at the knees, trying to get a better look at your face in the dimly lit doorway. All the color was drained from your skin, except the red path your tears took down your cheeks and your bitten lips.

You sniffled hard, an unevenness apparent in your breathing, “N—nothing,” you lied pathetically, closing your eyes as you shook your head, “I’m just a little stressed. You don’t have to worry about m-me.”

There was lots to worry about, especially seeing you in the state that you were in. Steve had seen you stressed out many times before. Worried about running late, leaving something behind, nervous about a final exam, but nothing ever to this extent. This was more than stress, and he knew it.

“Let’s go inside and talk, yeah?” He murmured, ignoring your comment and leading you back into your home, hoping to get you to talk some more.

Guiding you to the kitchen, he switched on the lights, pulling out a chair for you to sit at the dining table while he got you a glass of cold water and some paper towels.

“Have some water, baby,” He knelt on the ground, holding the cup of water to your lips.

You sniffled, closing your eyes tightly as you tried to catch your breath before taking a sip, letting him help you, and pulling the cusp away from your lips before you could cough up. You could feel his eyes boring through you, filled with fret wanting to get down to the bottom of the situation yet letting you go at your own pace.

He took the paper towel, crumbling it up into a small ball to dab over your cheeks and under your eyes, doing his best to soak up all the tears that kept pouring. His heart shook and broke in his chest, wondering what had happened to get you to this state of no return.

“Talk to me sweetheart,” He started, letting one of his hands come to hold your trembling one, giving you a firm squeeze. “What can I do to make it better?” He implored, just wanting to make whatever that was hurting you stop.

The desperation in his voice made another sob rip out from chest, face pinching into something painful as you hung your head low and wept as quietly as you could. You felt so weak and helpless, hating that you pushed yourself to the point where you made the one person who vowed to always be there for you feel as though he wasn’t.

“Babe, shhh, hey c’mon,” He murmured, immediately wrapping his arms around your body, pulling you close to him and burying your face in his chest, “It’s okay. I’m right here, baby. S’okay.”

You hadn’t said anything just amounting yourself to a mess of tears and unspoken feelings, not knowing how you could possibly articulate what you had been going through all this time.

“I—I’m sorry,” You muffled against his chest, causing him to pull away slightly, just to look at you and shake his head wondering why you were apologizing.

“You don’t have to be sorry baby—”

“I’m fucked up, I know I am.” You blurted out, a cruelty in your voice Steve could tell was directed towards yourself, not him.

“I-I’ve been so caught up with school and work that I know I haven’t been the best girlfriend, but I swear—”

“Hey stop it.” He didn’t let you finish, furrowing his brows, determined to make you understand the words you were saying about yourself weren’t true.

“This isn’t about you not being a good girlfriend. You’re so good to me, baby and I promise you whatever it is that’s going on, isn’t because of that. Talk to me. Don’t be scared.”

He assured you with warm circles rubbed over your back, just wanting you to focus on your feelings and not on what you thought you were making him feel. The only thing that mattered to him was understanding you, and how he could fit himself into the puzzle to make it all better.

“I’m just so tired,” You broke down once again, “I don’t feel like myself anymore, and even when I look at myself…I don’t see me.” You croaked, voice breaking in between words.

“All I want to do is relax, but my brain is just on a live wire where I can’t stop thinking and then I start spiraling. If it isn’t school, then it’s work, and if it isn’t work, then I’m thinking about all of the others things I don’t have time for in between school and work.” You heaved, just feeling the panic and frustration arise at the mere conversation.

He hated how he could see the contempt you had for yourself. Fingernails biting into the palm of your hands and a deep-seated frown over your lip, as if you wanted to crawl out of your skin to be someone completely different. But there was no one like you, in his eyes. Whatever it was that you were going through he was going to stand beside you and help you get back to feeling like yourself, the girl he couldn’t imagine living without.

“I’m here for you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner,” He murmured, pushing the tear soaked strands of hair out of your face. “You work so hard all the time, you deserve a break.”

“I can’t,” you cried, shaking your head, rubbing exhaustingly at your eyes, “I physically can’t. I can’t fall behind when I already am.”

You wanted to listen to his advice, the knowing that deep down he was so very right, but you couldn’t look past the idea of letting people down and falling behind when you knew it was impossible to play catch up.

Steve knew how you operated on a one track mind to get things done and out of the way, which was obviously ideal. However, the amount of physical, emotional, and mental strain the work ethic had put you in was enough confirmation that he needed to step in before it got worse.

“Listen to me, hon,” He said tenderly, grasping your face in his hands, “You need a break. I’m not saying you have to abandon everything, but you need to take it easy on yourself. Learn how to step away and breathe. You’re going to work yourself to death if you keep this up…and you know I can’t live without you.”

His sentiment was true and sweet, something he was able to be at all times, even at times like this.

“I’m not going to let you fall behind, baby.” He promised you, swiping his thumbs over your cheeks, pressing a chaste kiss over your lips before he continued, “I’ll help you and we can take it on together, but you can’t keep stuff like this from me okay? The last thing I ever want you to feel is like you have to do it all alone.”

You sniffled, nodding as you swallowed back the lump in your throat, hiccuping slightly, “I-I know, I’m just usually so good at taking on everything, but I don’t know what happened.” You admitted with a shrug.

He nodded understandingly. “You might not feel it, but you’re overworked and that’s okay. I’m going to be here to help any way I can. With school, with work…with breaks.” He smiled softly.

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.” You stared up at him apologetically, wishing you hadn’t waited so long to tell him, knowing that he was always your number one confidant and supporter through everything.

Still, he shook his head, caressing your cheeks, “Don’t apologize, I’m here now and I promise it’s going to get better.”

He held you in his arms a little longer, letting you cry the rest of your tears into his chest, before suggesting to head up to your room. Agreeing, he grabbed a fresh cup of water to keep at your bedside before following you up the stairs and into your room.

Books and papers were sprawled out across your desk, hinting to him what had gone down before you called. He knew that school was beginning to take a toll on you with bigger projects and finals approaching, but had no idea it was getting worse and worse as the days passed by—but no longer, not with him around.

“Let me just…” You spoke under your breath, heading towards your desk to get everything cleaned up, now that Steve was spending the night and not wanting him to deal with the mess.

But he was quick to stop you, grabbing you gently by the wrist before you could even close the textbook, causing you to follow his lead to your bed.

“Hey…” He murmured, setting the cup down on the small table beside your lamp, “we’ll figure it out in the morning okay?”

“Hmm,” You hummed with a nod, letting him situate you into bed before toeing off his shoes and getting in beside you.

You turned to face him after he switched off the lamp, encasing you both in complete darkness. Eyes adjusting to the light, enough for you to make out his face, eyes closed peacefully, as his arms went instinctively around your frame, pulling you closer into him—the feeling you had been missing so desperately, wondering why you ever even thought to push it away.

“You know I’ll be here whenever you need me, all the time okay?” His voice broke the silence, nuzzling his face closer to yours, hoping you knew how true every word was.

“I know,” you promised, jutting your chin up to press a kiss to his lips that he smiled into, kissing you back a little harder wanting you to remember the feeling and that alone.

All the stress still lingered in the back of your mind, but the feeling that consumed wasn’t the fear or the exhaustion that had been weighing you down. It was the knowing that you were allowed to feel your feelings around Steve, and the security to know he was your person, rain or shine—and that in itself was enough for you to know it was going to be okay.

💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌

a/n: very short one shot in honor of seasonal depression doing its big one on me...but don't worry im surviving through my safe space fiction characters!!! i hope you are all doing well and thank you again for sticking around!

taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @astolenkiss @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot @johnricharddeacy @gaysludge @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @ihatepeanutss @bakugouswh0r3

[aturnipsingularity]

So.

So.

[sexilene]

can i please request reader going off to collage and not wanting to go and leave rafe, and then he convinces her that its okay not to go and stay with him? if it's a little confusion im sorry!

ive got ya!! xoxo!!! (sorry about any spelling mistakes, im like so beyond sleepy rn idk whyyy!!!!)

"hey baby? where are the suitcases, packed already?” your boyfriend shouts from the hall, wondering where all your stuff that was once out ready to get packed, is gone from where he last saw it.

“uh- almost,” you call back, watching him walk into your room carefully trying not to spill your sleepy time tea in his hand, staring down at the cup until he places it on your nightstand. "did you put em away?-" he begins, before you cut him off,

“ray?”

“yeah?”

“i need to talk to you about something…it’s nothing bad i promise…” your eyes wide and full of an emotion he can't quite place. he stares down at you sitting on the bed, crossing his arms waiting to hear what you've got to say. “okay, what’s up?”

“weeeell, i'm really proud of myself about getting in but i’m still a little nervous about going away…leaving you…” you ramble, avoiding eye contact with rafe. “got separation anxiety?” he laughs, bending down to be at eye level with you.

“don’t joke right now rafe, m’serious!” you whine, going to hide your face in your hands when rafe grabs your wrists ever so gently to direct your attention back on him. “sorry, sorry baby…continue." your boyfriend whispers, softly rubbing the skin on your wrist back and forth with his thumb.

you take a deep breath to keep the tears at bay “i’ve just been thinking about it a lot and i don’t wanna be half away across the country! and of course i know how important college is-”

rafe interrupts you by shrugging and muttering out an “eh,” as if to dismiss the importance of college,

“but…”

“but what, baby?” his eyes innocently looking up at you,

“what if i didn’t go? like i want to, but i don’t and it's all so stressful and i feel like i’m gonna disappoint everyone if i don’t go…” a tear then streaming down your face faster than you can wipe it away to keep him from seeing you cry over this.

your sweet boyfriend's heart twists with every tear that follows, he lets go of your wrists to hold your hands in his much bigger, warmer ones and shushes your fears, “hey- hey okay…just relax a minute kid, if you don’t want to you don’t have to. i say it all the time, can’t fucking wait to put a big ass diamond on this finger. and you won’t gotta worry about anything, cause i promise i’ll take care of you.” he tells you, a smirk on his face, trying his best to reassure you.

“i know but i don’t want to look stupid by being the girl who got into an amazing school but then chose to marry her first boyfriend and stay here!” you realize it's not the nicest thing to say out loud but it is- or would be the truth.

“what’s stupid bout being my little housewife?” rafe furrows his eyebrows, bringing his lips down to kiss every single one of your fingers. “aight listen, i’m so proud of you for getting in and doing the preparation for it but if you feel like your mind has changed that's not a bad thing. im fuckin’ relieved you wanna stay, and if you wanna still go to school there’s always UNC… you’d be closer.” your boyfriend was always very good at reasoning, especially with you. he could calm you in any situation with a couple of wise words and kisses.

“yeah…” you sigh, and wipe your nose with the back of your hand, letting go of his. and sure it's relieving to know that you could always choose to make that decision later, yet the thought in the back of your mind still present, telling you not to end up as another figure eight stepford wife.

and as quickly as the thought crept back into your mind, rafe was able to make it disappear “look, i love you babydoll and im gonna support you as you support me yeah? whatever you want, i'll get it for you you know that... you belong here, with me.” he stands back up again, hands reaching down to wipe the remaining tear droplets on your cheeks gently, to show you he cares ever so much about you and how much he wants to be soft with you- as if you could break like a china doll. “kay, so no tears. did your makeup so pretty today baby...”

your wet lashes sticking together, doe eyes staring up at him with love and admiration. “you’re my best friend ray. i love you, so much my heart hurts.”

“and you're mine, and i love you more than anything ever- and you can sleep on it you know? don't have to make up your mind right here." he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

ᥫ᭡.

[hyunfilms]

this time around (lee felix) | one shot.

—summary: life decides it's finally the right time.

—pairing: lee felix x f. reader

—genre: (18+) exes to lovers | fluff, smut

—word count: 3.9k

—content/warnings: blue haired felix 😮‍💨, cussing/mature language, alcohol consumption, unprotected sex - but not super descriptive!!, lots of kisses and intimate/sweet moments, use of pet names: baby/angel/love, oc’s friend also uses ‘baby’ in a platonic way, quickly edited so pls excuse any mistakes!!

—INSPIRED BY: LOVE ME AGAIN - V

It’s funny how life works.

Especially when you’re sitting at this wedding, sipping on another glass of rosé— staring at the one man who, at one point, meant the entire universe to you. 

Then, it’s also funny how life works; when life decides that this is your person, just not the right time.

“Girl, can you go and do something? He keeps looking at you. And don’t tell me he isn’t because I can see that blue head from miles away.” One of your bestfriends since college said. He nudges your arm, making you almost choke on the sip you just took.

“No, Reggie!” You almost whine, turning towards him. “It’s been so long, I don’t even know what I’d say to him.”

“Okay, but baby, he looks like he’s dying to talk to you. Poor Felix. Y/N always playing her goddamn games.”

“Quit it.” You nudge him back and he snorts.

“I’m kidding. But seriously, he looks like he wants to talk to you. Who cares if it’s been so long? I’m sure the conversation will flow perfectly. Give it a chance.” He takes a sip of his own cocktail. “Besides, if I remember correctly, you were head over heels for that man just as he was for you.” You sigh, setting your glass down— quickly reminiscing about the past.

You might have been young, and you may not have experienced everything life had to offer yet; but to say Felix was the love of your life would be an understatement.

He was everything to you.

Love, adoration, fun. 

Sweetness.

He was also sadness, anger, hurt. 

Pain.

Everything that entails love; being so, so in love.

And it’s just unfortunate that it wasn’t the right time because Felix was someone you pictured your life with. Everything about the relationship was right, and equally balanced. He showed you just how much he loved you and how much he adored you. You had more good times than bad with him. He taught you how to communicate better, to express your needs and wants, to enjoy life and live in the present moment.

He taught you so much that he really is part of the reason why you’re the person you are today.

After the three years of dating, Felix was graduating college and you were going into your senior year. Understandably, you felt like you needed to experience your last year by yourself, and you felt like Felix needed to figure out his plans moving forward. As much as you loved the way he factored you into every decision, you felt like it was wrong for him to do so— for him to feel like his life revolved solely around you. And of course, you loved him. This would’ve worked. But, it wouldn’t have felt right.

You needed to find yourself without Felix, and vice versa. 

Breaking up with Felix was probably the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, but he understood. And because he loved you, he let you go. There was no bad blood, no hint of hate or anger; Felix had only left with more love and hope, praying that you’ll be okay.

Maybe one day, you’ll find your way back to each other.

It’s funny how life works.

“I’m not going to force it. I’ll let it happen if it happens.” You look at Reggie, taking another big sip of your rosé; eyes quickly glancing over to Felix from over the glass. He’s still conversing with a few mutual friends, eyes meeting yours from a distance. His eyes are soft, facial expression slightly unreadable. 

Pressed, crisp black button down with the sleeves rolled halfway up his arms. Silver watch adorning the left wrist, slacks sitting nicely on his frame.

You’re sure of the butterflies you feel. It’s crazy how Felix still has this effect on you. 

You clear your throat and revert your attention back to Reggie with a: “Can we go dance?”

“Now you’re talking.” Reggie laughs, grabbing your hand and leading you to the dance floor for a dance with other friends. The majority of the time you’re on the dance floor, you’ve temporarily pushed your thoughts and feelings away to enjoy being around friends you haven’t been able to hang out with or see in quite some time. You’re enjoying yourself, singing and dancing along to the music blasting in the venue. At one point, you don’t realize that Felix and his friends have joined in, creating one huge crowd in the middle of the dance floor that’s become the life of the party. 

“Hey, I’m gonna go to the bathroom and get some air. I’ll be back in a few.” You say in Reggie’s ear. He nods, throwing up the ‘okay’ sign to acknowledge that he understood you through the loud music.

“You need me to come babysit your ass?” He leans near your ear to quickly ask.

“I’ll be fine!” You laugh, rushing off to the bathroom to relieve yourself from all that rosé. You take a couple of moments to freshen up and pat away at your makeup, hoping to keep it together for the remainder of the night. You fluff your hair a bit before giving yourself one last look before walking out and heading towards the back end of the hotel.

It’s a beautiful night tonight— one where the stars are twinkling brightly above, dotted throughout the night sky and circling around the full moon. There’s a faint breeze that feels awfully good on your skin right now, the waves crashing against the surface just right below the hill where the hotel sits. 

“Hey.” A familiar, deep voice comes from behind you. You fiddle with your fingers a bit, bottom lip tucked underneath your teeth as you turn and come face to face with Felix— eyes completely fixed on the one man whom you’ve always loved; the one man who, at one point, meant the entire universe to you. “I’m sorry, I just came outside to make sure you were okay. But, I guess I should’ve figured it was since Reggie was still—” Felix shakes his head and lets out an embarrassed chuckle. “Nevermind. Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Thank you for checking. I—” You lazily point at the sky. “I just needed some air. Was getting really hot in there.”

“Yeah it was.” He laughs a bit. “You sure you’re doing okay? Do you need me to get you water or anything?” Typical Felix, you think. He’s still the same. Everything about him has remained unchanged.

“I’m okay, Felix. Thank you.” You respond softly. “It’s nice to see you.” He digs his hands into his pockets, head tilting to the side.

“It’s nice to see you, too. It’s been so long.” He smiles. He’s the first to step forward and envelope you in a hug, taking in his scent as you hug him back. Oddly enough, everything feels the same. Felix’s hugs have always been the best, and part of you hates having to part once the moment is over. “You look amazing, Y/N.”

“You do, too.” You point at his hair. “Though, I have to say the blue hair was a surprise?” He laughs and nods.

“Uh yeah, was kinda a bet with some of my friends.”

“It looks good though, you pull it off well.” 

“Thank you.” He licks his lips before nodding towards the bench further down the path. “Do you wanna catch up?” He pauses. “I-I mean it’s fine if you wanna get back to the party, totally understand. I just thought we could kill two birds with one stone and–”

“I’d love to.” You cut him off with a sweet smile, letting Felix lead the way to the bench. 

And so here you are, sitting side by side with Felix— enjoying the night while the music continues to play in the background. You start by telling Felix what you’ve been up to all these years, how your parents have been, living life in the city. Felix says he’s been in and out of the city, traveling back and forth between Australia to hang out with family in between work. You share lots of laughs when you update each other about family and their whereabouts, reminiscing about the times when your families would have lots of fun together. The both of you also talk about how it’s been awhile since everyone’s been under the same roof, but it’s a nice occasion to be together. Then, somehow, the conversation shifts to love and dating. You awkwardly tell Felix that you haven’t really been in a serious relationship since graduation. You’ve dated around, but nothing felt right.

Nothing felt equally balanced, or like it was meant to be.

But, it’s okay. You reassure him you’ve been okay focusing on you and doing your own thing. In time, you’ll welcome whatever is meant to be in your life. And Felix tells you he’s glad to hear that— that he’s also dated around but things just didn’t feel right, either.

“Y/N.” He calls for you as he looks out, then shifts his attention back to you. “Are you happy?” He looks at you, really looks at you, and he doesn’t take his eyes off of you. Almost like he’s doing his best to read you, to find the answer deep within your orbs, your body language.

“I guess so, yeah.” You softly smile at him before looking at the view. “Are you?” He shrugs a bit.

“Yeah. Think so.” He licks his lips and lets out a small breath. “As long as you’re happy, then that’s all that matters to me.”

“Thanks, Lix.” There’s a comfortable silence that falls between you two after that conversation. But, something shifts in the air; shifts enough to the point where you feel Felix’s eyes rest back on you from your peripherals. The sudden tension could be felt from miles away, but you’re not sure how to act on it. The simplest thing you could do is—

“I’m sorry, is there something on my face?” You break the silence and ask, a bit confused as to why Felix just keeps looking at you, staring; fixed. He lets out a small laugh before shaking his head.

“No, there isn’t. I just—” He pauses. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N. Always been. I can’t help it.” He says, eyes softening again as he settles on your features. He gently brushes the hair away from your face, thumb trailing down to your cheek to caress the surface. You lean into his touch a little more, having to pull away when you realize the reality of this all.

It’s funny how life works.

“You know.. I think I’m gonna call it a night.” You shyly chuckle and look down at your lap, hands awkwardly rubbing away at the fabric of your dress as you let the excuse linger in the air for a second. “I didn’t realize how exhausted I was after all that dancing and singing.” Felix chuckles. He feels a little embarrassed, but he also dug himself into this one. He shouldn’t have reached out so quickly. He couldn’t help it.

“Do you need me to drive you anywhere?”

“No, I rented out a room for the night solely for this reason.” You stand with Felix following suit.

“Let me walk you to your room then?”

“Oh, you really don’t have to Lix. I’ll be okay.” He smiles hearing the nickname roll off your tongue.

“I want to.” You look at him with a small smile and nod.

“Okay. I just need to grab my things.” He follows behind, keeping a safe distance just to keep you comfortable– not knowing that you’d rather have him close than far away.

Inside, everyone is still keeping up the energy except for a few that have either left, or decided to sit down for the remainder of the night. Reggie is drinking water at your table, and he can’t help but throw a certain look your way when he sees you walking in with Felix following right behind you. You catch on though, and you simply shrug while Felix returns to his friends to let them know he’s heading out.

“Okay so.. what exactly is happening here? Miss ‘It’s been so long, I don’t even know what I’d say to him.’” You roll your eyes and grab your things.

“I’m heading up to my room. Felix is just walking me there.”

“Walking you all the way up to the second floor? Goodness me.” You laugh and shake your head. 

“You should get to yours soon, too.”

“Mhm, I want a progress report tomorrow morning.” He puckers his lips before eyeing you up and down. 

“Stop it.” You glare at him. “I love you, goodnight.” You simply tell him before turning on your heel to bid your other friends goodbye, along with the bride and groom.

“Get it girl, I love you too!” You hear him respond just as you continue your goodbye’s until you’re near the entrance, with Felix waiting right outside the doors in the hallway. 

“Hope you’re ready for a good long trip up to the second floor.” Felix laughs.

“Yeah, sounds pretty exhausting, honestly. It’s been a night.”

“It has, but I had lots of fun.”

“I did too.” He steps inside the elevator after you, leaning back against the railing. He eyes your figure, the way the dress hugs your curves nicely, heels strapped around your ankles. You’ve always been so beautiful; everything about you, inside and out. You can see the way Felix is focused on you through his reflection on the elevator doors in front of you, and it makes your heart do flips.

Because he does that thing he always does— when he tilts his head at a certain angle just to see you, read you, perfectly. Knowing you’ll meet his eyes at some point just for him to pull you in closer.

To plant a kiss on your lips,

Down to your jaw,

Collarbone—

“Y/N, is this not your floor?” Felix asks, breaking you out of your thoughts when you realize he’s holding the elevator doors open.

“Oh, right. Yeah, sorry. Just zoned out for a bit.” He lets out a tiny laugh as he watches you walk down the hallway, turning right at the end to get to the second door. You tap your hotel key against the reader, hand twisting the handle to unlock the door. Before you can open it fully, you turn back to Felix— seeing him quietly standing there with his hands dug into his pockets. “This is me. Thanks for walking me to my room, Lix.”

“Course. I guess I’ll let you be.” He smiles toothlessly at you. Your inner dialogue is conflicted right now, wondering if you should just let him be and let this end right where it is—

While the other half is yearning to keep him around, to have his company, to just be with him even after all these years.

“Have a good night, pretty girl.” He continues, hoping that he really doesn’t have to part with you right now. He’s not gonna force it though, and he’s not gonna say anything else— even though he feels like he has a lot more to say to you tonight. Maybe this is how it was meant to be after all, which Felix will have to learn to put to rest if it truly ends this way.

But, before he can turn on his heel to walk away, you follow up with:

“Actually, do you wanna just stay and hang out a bit more?”

“If it’s not a bother.”

“Never. Sorry, I should’ve asked earlier. I just didn’t want to make it awkward or whatever.”

“Could never be that way with you, Y/N.” You chuckle, stepping in and letting Felix follow you in. You set your clutchbag onto the side table at the corner of the room, undoing your heels and setting them aside. 

“God, that feels amazing.” Felix laughs as he sits on the edge of your bed, watching as you get comfortable. “I can’t wait to get comfortable. You have a room here, right?”

“Mhm.”

“Do you wanna change and just come back here? I feel bad that I’ll be the only one getting comfortable.” He laughs a bit and shakes his head.

“I’m good for now. I promise.” He watches as you undo your necklace. “Need help with your dress?” You look at him through the mirror as you set your necklace down onto the drawer and silently nod. “I got you.” He says, getting behind you to help you unzip your dress. It’s something small, but so intimate and sweet.

And with Felix, it feels perfectly right. Even if years have passed. You never feel out of place with him, and he only feels like home to you.

He slowly unzips your dress, eyes trailing down as his hand falls down to the small of your back. You feel his breath tickle the back of your neck, body only inches away from yours as he keeps his position there.

“Felix.” You softly call his name, and he can tell. He just knows. He looks at you through the mirror, hand slowly wrapping around your waist.

“Is it weird to say that I’ve really missed you?” He says lowly as his eyes trail down your neck this time, fixed on the weak spot that he remembers so, so well.

“No. I’ve missed you, too.”

“I mean it.” His fingers are fiddling with the strap of your dress. “When I saw you tonight, you were all I could think about. Not that anything’s changed, but—“ He lazily slips the strap down, letting it fall to the side as his finger traces a line up your arm; to the curve of your shoulder. “I just couldn’t believe that I was finally seeing you again.”

“Lix.” The way you breathily release his name from your lips tells him everything he needs to know. You’ve missed him too, you’ve really, really missed him, too. And of course he feels the same way you do— absolutely. If it wasn’t for shit falling into place at the wrong time, Felix was sure that he’d still be loving you the way he was before.

No question.

Nothing has changed. The love he’s had for you will always mean more to him than anything in this world.

Felix still feels like love, adoration, fun.

Sweetness.

And if you let him, he would also feel like sadness, anger, hurt.

Pain.

Because Felix is love, and everything that love entails. 

“Missed everything about you.” He says, planting a feathery kiss on your shoulders. “Missed the way you laugh.” Another kiss on your shoulder. “The way you smile.” Another near the base of your neck. “Just you.” He says near your ear, reading your expression. You bite onto your bottom lip and finally turn to face him, his hand coming back up to rest on your cheek. “Always been you, love.” His thumb is caressing the surface, giving you leverage to plant a kiss on the palm of his hand.

“Always been.” You mutter back, allowing Felix to fully take you—all of you— in this moment. 

Sooner or later, your dress is on the floor while you continue to keep your lips pressed against Felix’s in the heat of the moment; afraid to break the kiss and create distance. You don’t ever want Felix away from you again, no. You want him close— with you, for you, by you. 

Just you.

He takes his time with you, letting his hands roam across every inch of your body while he takes you in and settles in between your thighs; pressing his pink, plump lips across your body like he’s soothing you, making up for the years that you’ve lost. 

You’re tangled up in him, but you find that there’s no other place that you’d rather be than here; giving Felix the freedom to love you, love on you, however he chooses to tonight. You trust him to take care of you because he always has, and he always will.

It’s not long before your hands are gripping the sheets, repeatedly calling Felix’s name like a mantra. He praises you as he picks up the pace, pounding relentlessly to show his need for you. His lips graze the surface of your neck, collarbone, chest, whispering sweet nothings into your skin:

Missed everything about you.

So perfect for me, love.

So beautiful, so pretty.

Always been you.

All about you.

He continues, and continues— holding you close to his body while he tries to go slower, deeper; hitting all the right places that you like so much just to hear you, see you, writhe underneath him. 

You.

Let me be yours.

“Fuck, Lix. I’m close—“ Is the only thing that you’re able to say as you feel the coil within you threatening to unravel. And he must feel it too with the way that his hips begin to stutter, teeth digging into his bottom lip as he tries to hold on. He feels your walls completely tighten around him, pulsating as your face contorts in pleasure and a silent moan leaves your lips. 

“Baby, where do you want me— fuck— I’m—“ Felix barely lets out. You reassure him that he’s okay to let go inside of you, and not a second passes before he’s painting your walls. His forehead falls onto yours just as the both of you come back down from your highs, focusing on regulating your breathing after the intense pleasure that washed over you. “Are you okay, angel? You’re not hurt, are you?” He asks, close to a whisper. He kisses you lightly on the tip of your nose, before he seals one off on your lips. He holds it there for awhile before pulling back, realizing you still have yet to respond to him.

“I’m okay. Not hurt.” He nods.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” Felix takes his time cleaning you up and soothing you, helping you get washed up and ready for bed just before he leaves to do the same.

For a moment, you feel like everything is over. That maybe, that was the closure you needed to finally close off that chapter in your book. That maybe, that was it to Felix and you’d return to being [somewhat] strangers again. It makes you a little scared, a little anxious.

But, it all blows away when Felix comes back, dressed for bed just as he had said. He shuts off your lights and slips into the bed next to you, pulling the sheets up so that you’re comfortable.

“For a second, I didn’t think you were actually going to come back.” He lets out a small, breathy laugh as he wraps his arm around you and pulls you flush to his body.

“What, why not? I’m here to stay, love. Not going anywhere.”

“Even when tomorrow comes?”

“Even when tomorrow comes.” He kisses the back of your head. “Unless, you have other plans already?”

“No. Just you.” He chuckles.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” You snuggle closer to him, allowing his warmth to completely envelope your body. Before you know it, you’ve fallen into a deep sleep in Felix’s arms, and he does too. Even when the morning comes, you still find yourself wrapped around Felix and snuggled against his body, light kisses being pressed against your head when you wiggle in his arms.

It’s funny how life works.

Because this time around, Felix is here, lying beside you; making things feel right, connected. Balanced. You shift in your position to look at him because this time around, you’re staring at the one man who, up until now, still means the entire universe to you. 

Then, it’s also funny how life works; when life decides that this is your person, and this is finally the right time.

This time around. 

—perm taglist: @ppiri-bahng @jihanlovic @meloncremesoda @sweetlikecherry @asjkdk @hanji-cafe

[oopsiedaisiesbaby]

Okay because the AU that I'm thinking of is ALSO inspired by the gifs of John in his little polo shirt.

I'm thinking fratboy AU, with senior member John ( maybe treasurer or social secretary) and 19 year old freshman pledge Gale. John is assigned as Gales "big brother"/mentor person in the fraternity.

Obviously they're into each other from day one. Gale's very into this strong, funny, kind frat boy who yeah, wears a backwards baseball cap and gets drunk on jungle juice but would also die to protect any of his brothers and is a big part of the reason that the frat doesn't do hazing to the dangerous degree they used to. He admires his strong, filled out chest and his long clever fingers, and the way that John opens up his room whenever Gale needs to talk. And even from day one John defended Gales decision not to drink and made sure he wasn't excluded from other bonding activities.

John on the other hand is working very, very hard at keeping this fraternity rule appropriate. No fraternizing with your little, definitely no flirting with him ( more than he normally flirts with everyone) and when Gale is in his room, on his bed, John tries his best to shut out the images that flash through his brain ( mostly of john pressing Gale into that bed) but the more time he spends with him the less he wants to be his big brother and the more he wants him as his date to their events. He shakes it off though, Gale is 19 and doesn't need that sort of pressure from an "authority" figure and he's sure he definitely wouldn't want a 22 year old frat boy who spent more time on college baseball than college.

It all kicks off when Gale is assigned to John as his pledge, tasked with fetching drinks and driving him home from parties, making him coffee, waking him up in the morning. How is Gale supposed to function when he sees what John looks like in the morning?

How is John supposed to function when his normal morning wood won't go down after seeing gale in the morning?? And what about when Gale walks john home after a party and John drunkenly asks Gale to stay with him. After all, he's his pledge. He has to do what John says, right?

John holds him close all night and in his sleep ruts against him once or twice but an awful hopeful part of gale hopes that John wouldn't be as respectful. That maybe he would order him to get John off or something. But obviously John doesn't see him that way. He's nearly a grown man and gale is a kid in his eyes.

It takes them a while and more than a few close calls but they figure it out and the rest of the boys are supportive.

( they checked, there's no rule against the frat sweetheart also being in the frat)

Not me being sad the entire ask because Gale can’t be the frat sweetheart and then you healing me with that last line ❤️ I live for frat boy John, Callum in a backwards baseball cap makes my knees week so I know it would make Gale swoon too lol

Yes to all of the above and my thoughts and inspo pics are below the cut (which I tried to keep short and will probably just end up sharing more on later cause I love this idea!)

Imagine during rush week, little baby duck Gale going to each house and clamming up as everyone around him is shouting and partying and he’s shyly trying to talk to any members that approach him because he’s knows Greek life looks good on resumes and will be great for networking after he graduates. It’s just so far from his scene though and he’s horribly uncomfortable and he just wants to go back to his form because this was a huge mistake.

Except then he gets to [insert whatever frat you want here]’s house (they’re nickname is the bloody 100th and no one really knows why but there’s plenty of wild legends) and this absolute puppy dog of a senior is automatically all over him calling him Buck. Gale is, of course, shocked and confused and asks who Buck is and the guy looks at him like he’s lost it and insists Gale is Buck and when Gale asks if he’s high the guy nearly cries laughing and starts showing him off to all of his brothers.

The night goes on and he learns Bucky is the social chair and he’s a lit major (which Gale was not expecting and Bucky is so amused when Gale points that out) and he’s a legacy and he loves baseball and all kinds of other random facts and doesn’t blink when Gale says he doesn’t drink or smoke, just pours him a cup of juice like it’s nothing and continues showing him around the house. He puts the 100th down as his top choice that night and is delighted when he gets an invite back for the second night.

The second night he finds himself being an absolute chatterbox (he’s talking a normal amount but it’s positively loquacious by Gale’s standards) when Bucky commandeers him again and sits him down at the table with his brothers where they’re playing cards (the other rushees are seething with jealousy because it is usually an invite reserved for legacies only).

Gale keeps putting them down as his top pick and he keeps getting invited back and then on bid day he’s being scooped up and spun around by Bucky who is absolutely whooping in excitement and admits that he hand wrote Gale’s bid. Pledges are rotated to different brothers each week and Gale doesn’t care, they’re all pretty nice even when bossing them around but Bucky and Gale still find ways to basically live in each others pockets those first few weeks.

It’s not until the last week when Gale gets assigned to John and he’s waking him up with coffee in bed and John groans and just pulls Gale into bed with him for a cuddle that Gale realizes he might actually be falling in love. He’s embarrassed because there’s no way this hot senior likes him back, he’s just an awkward nerdy freshman. Normally, he’d run for the hills to save himself the embarrassment but he just can’t stay away from John.

He makes it through being a pledge and dies at the elaborate thoughtful gifts his big gets him leading up to the reveal (this may be sorority specific rather than a fraternity thing but it’s what I know so we’re going with it lol) and is absolutely floored when he find out John is his big. He’s both excited and devastated because John being his big means more time with John but it also means they absolutely cannot fuck… there’s gotta be rules against that, right???

Except Gale reads through the rules religiously leading up to initiation and there isn’t shit about fraternizing within the fraternity. It doesn’t matter though because John definitely doesn’t see him that way anyways.

Then homecoming week rolls around and while Gale can’t officially live in the house as a freshman, he stays over every night that week because it makes it easier with all the events and parties going on and means he gets to snuggle with a drunk and happy overgrown puppy by the name of John “Bucky” Egan every night and he’s basically living his best life. Benny looks at him like he’s crazy when he mentions sleeping in John’s bed and explains that Brady makes him sleep on the floor.

It’s got Gale wondering if maybe this isn’t so one sided. It all comes to a head on bonfire night when John begs off pre gaming and plants one right on Gale once the bonfire is lit. He gives Gale his pin and ask him to be his boyfriend (yes, I know pinning is like a promise ring but this is Bucky we’re talking about who was ready to full on propose the moment he laid eyes on Gale) and ofc course Gale says yes.

John might turn down a spot at grad school far away to go to their school’s program just to stay near Gale for the rest of his undergraduate program 😉

Need more frat boy John in my life ❤️❤️❤️

There is another pic of Callum floating around out there with a backwards baseball cap and shirtless but I couldn’t find it but just know I was thinking of that pic in my heart ❤️🤣

[eternalera]

im bored and wanna argue with a wall why i ship lawlight.

alright so lets get started! the first thing that people usually bring up with lawlight is the age gap. so basically at the start of the series light is 17 and L is 24 BUT when they meet light is 18 and L is still 24. theyre literally adults. now okay that's kinda a shit excuse so lets talk about why the age gap is NOT the problem with their toxicty. (its their personalities-)

first off the main problem with agegaps are the power imbalances, the thing with L and light is yeah they have this. but you wanna know what? they'd have this even if light was the exact same age as L, because the whole point of death note is the power struggle that the two of them have going on. why do they have this? because theyre equals in pretty much everything, IQ, tennis etc. the power struggle they have is intriguing and everyone can agree to this, you wanna know why? YOU WATCHED DEATH NOTE. thats like half of the entertainment, watching these two go toe to toe.

then there's the "theyre in different stages of life" argument. they're not, they're just really not. L's doing nothing with his life but solving cases (sry buddy but its true-), and light's literally just doing the same thing except killing people and keeping L from solving the case. not to mention that 6 years is not that big of an agegap. no, seriously im being so genuine right now. like yeah okay, its weird if an 18 yo dates a 12 yo thats wrong because the 18 yo is an adult with a TON of more life experiences than they 12 yo, they've gone through puberty, etc. they know a lot more about sex and stuff as well so that is grooming.

but what if a 30 and 36 yo are dating? that's fine, you wouldn't object to that as long as they met at a time when they were emotionally mature enough to make the decision to date.

also there are much larger age gaps than just 6 years in real life. there are tons of couples that have 10 or 12 years (one of my friends parents have a 20 year age gap) in between the two of them and have been together for a while (NOT when one of them was younger) and they're in a healthy relationship. my parents have a 6 year age gap, it's totally fine. theyre healthy there's not power imbalance and stuff like that

anyways moving on from that. there's the whole ethical standpoint of their debate but like... guys light's a mass murderer be so fr right now. then there's the victim x their abuser argument but literally that can go for either one of them.

yes light killed L but it wasnt like L wasn't trying to do the same (if he convicted light he WAS going to kill him, make no mistake on that). he literally told the task force how once he captured kira he was going to bring them his HEAD (he knew light was kira, he's known pretty much since he approached him at the college so he WANTED to kill light).

now is the ship toxic?... hell yeah, toxic as fuck. there are hardly any relationships (romantic or platonic) that arent toxic to some extent. hell even light and his father's relationship is toxic and they're family. light uses his father's position to kill more people, he wouldve killed his father if he was a risk into revealing that he was kira, he wouldve killed any of his family if them being alive was a risk to his identity.

but what about L? well he looks down on literally everyone who isn't as smart as him with the only exception being watari and possibly light. any relationship with him he's going to regard the person as wasting his time or not intelligent enough. there is that one line where misa kisses L on the cheek and he says how he could fall in love with her. i do think he's being genuine but keep in mind it would still be toxic for her as L is way more obsessed with figuring out tough cases than retaining a relationship.

so if its toxic people cant ship it right? wrong. there are tons of toxic relationships in fandom AND in canon that have insane power dynamics. there are a few in arcane as well, caitvi (caitlyn's an enforcer vi's from the undercity) and jayvik (viktor turned into a FUCKING GOD and tried to basically turn everyone into robots where jayce is literally JUST HUMAN) are pretty big examples. now are these toxic? Mmmm honestly depends on who you ask lol. imo yeah a little (in canon at least seeing as how caitlyn did gas vi's people and viktor DID try to take over piltover) but they're still shipped widely.

and even if a ship isn't inherently toxic some people will go out of there way to make it toxic because thats just what they like. its fandom. there are going to be stuff you do and dont like about it. lawlight just tends to be one of those things and honestly i dont think its as bad as people are making it out to be. and not to mention toxic ships really are just an acquired taste, once again its part of EVERY FANDOM (havent seen it yet, you will stick around, trust me it'll happen) and you just gotta learn to live with it lol.

now do i think that theyre in love in the anime? no, but do i ship them anyways and in my own aus? yeah, but then again either L's aged down or lights aged up so what the hell do i know?

hope you enjoyed my ranting lol. byeee

(ALSO THIS IS NOT BEING USED TO JUSTIFY FUCKED UP DYNAMICS IRL. THESE ARE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.)

tldr: their age gap is NOT the problem to their toxicity its them and i like it that way

[deconstructthesoup]

Okay, at this point, I genuinely don't care if I've made a post like this before, because I have new ideas and working on Put Your Records On again has gotten me in the fucking mood.

*ahem*

What Kind of D&D Players the Dead Boy Detectives Characters Would Be (this is totally subjective)*

Edwin: Pro bono rules lawyer, full-stop. He's the type of player who has memorized what every single spell can do, knows the best combos to make an incredibly effective build, and is one of those maniacs who's read the 2014 DMG cover-to-cover more than once. He's also got surprisingly good backstories and motivations for his characters, though it takes him a couple sessions to really get into the roleplay of the thing. (Also, you cannot convince him to play a martial class. It's spells or nothing.)

Charles: Gets insanely invested in his characters. He comes up with their name, personality, species, voice, and backstory wayyyyyyy before anything mechanics-related comes into play, and every single decision about mechanics is a "would my character pick this" question, not a "is this going to make my build broken" question. His decisions are always deeply in-character, in the way that makes the DM incredibly happy for story reasons, and he's absolutely the type to make character playlists and moodboards. It's a fifty-day mourning period on the very rare occasions his character dies.

Crystal: Also gets invested in her characters, but she goes for vibes first. You won't catch her playing a human fighter (no shade to human fighters)---if a species isn't from Monsters of the Multiverse or in the "uncommon" section of the core species part of the Player's Handbook, it's not for her, and she'll always pick a class with lots of big, flashy moves and magic to throw around. Most of the time, she even winds up multiclassing, though it's never for optimization and always for flavor... buuuuut Crystal still manages to do pretty cool things with those multiclasses. She also goes hard with making character cosplays. Her social media's now full of pictures of her dressed up as her characters.

Niko: The DM's ultimate hype-person. She's always asking questions about the world, gets super into the plot, and tries her hardest to get as immersed as possible into the story that's unfolding. Basically, she's my dream player who's always making suggestions that perfectly add to the lore---like, for instance, "what if Fantasy Adventure College required you to defend your thesis by actually fighting your professors?" (This is something that one of my IRL players asked last session, and I swear to god, I reached new levels of platonic adoration as soon as those words left his mouth.) I think Niko would make characters who are mostly support, not really wanting to take up the spotlight... but when her characters do get a moment to shine, oh boy do they shine.

Jenny: Starts out as a hack-and-slasher who's only playing to make everyone else happy, and then winds up having genuine fun with it. I'm pretty sure that Jenny would never be anything more than a casual player, probably the person who just shows up every now and then to play a plot-relevant character that the DM had lined up, but she likes rolling dice every now and then.

Monty: Dice. Goblin. Yes, he plays incredibly well-crafted and heartfelt characters who deliver Shakespearean monologues and have backstories that make you cry, but the most important thing is that Monty initially got into D&D for one thing and one thing only---to collect shiny dice. Glitter, inclusions, metal---you name it, he has it, and his collection is something to behold. (He's a crow, of course he loves dice.)

The Cat King: The chaos player. His characters are pretty decent, he commits to the arcs, and he's not terribly disruptive, but make no mistake---he will try to resolve a sticky situation by suggesting doing something absolutely insane, he will roll a nat 20, and the DM will have to pick up the pieces. It's pure "I-disguse-myself-as-him," "I-don't-think-you-heard-me-I-said-blimey," "I'm-gonna-conjure-up-an-image-of-a-sexy-rat" energy, and it's an absolute delight and nightmare all at once. (All of his characters are charisma casters. Go figure.)

*The Night Nurse and Esther have zero interest in D&D, Night Nurse because she has no time for childish activities and Esther because she doesn't see the point in playing make-believe slaughter your enemies when you can do that in real life

[wetheepiphany]

Tying Knots in Fragile String

(a post-Stardust Crusaders short story)

======= To read this on Ao3 instead, click HERE =======

“He can’t replace your husband, Holy.”

The moment the words left his mouth, Joseph knew he’d said too much. The desperately hopeful smile on his daughter’s face loosened with shock, then curled into the bitter frown that Joseph had grown all too familiar with.

“Papa…how dare you!”

And like a fool, he doubled down - like he always did when put on the defensive.

“Look, you can’t keep him cooped up in this teahouse forever—he’s a grown man now! He needs the freedom to grow, to try new things–”

“You weren’t saying that when I wanted to move to Japan!”

“W-well—that was different!”

“How is that different?!” Holy exclaimed, voice shrill with irritation.

“You were running away from home and from your family! Jotaro is–”

“Going back home? Is that what you think this is? That America is the one and only home a Joestar could ever have? Papa—Japan is our home: mine and Jotaro’s! No matter what you do, you can’t change that!”

“Ask Jotaro–”

“And you aren’t his family: I am! He barely knows who you are!”

“Because you never let us visit!”

“Because you never accepted Sadao!”

“And where is that bastard now, huh?!”

Holy sternly set her jaw, her eyes bright with fury. It was the argument of 1982 all over again.

Not even five years of silent treatment had stopped Joseph from making the same old mistakes.

“Jotaro is going to a university in Japan, papa. That is final.”

It was then that the room’s shoji slid open, revealing the subject of their conversation. As the young man walked inside, he wore the same expression as his mother; but where there was fire in Holy’s eyes, there was a troubled smolder in his. His gaze stayed downcast, following the lines on the floor paneling.

Joseph squirmed with guilt, recognizing that he had worsened the current situation for Jotaro. His grandson ignored him, instead approaching Holy.

Jotaro mumbled something as he got close, but his voice was too quiet to understand.

“Oh! Jotaro~!” Holy chirped, immediately switching into a cheerful demeanor. Even so, the flames in her eyes were still burning. “Dinner’s ready in the kitchen, I just need to finish talking to your grandfather first—”

“The old man is right,” Jotaro interrupted, emphasizing as though repeating himself.

Holy blinked. “What?”

“I’m going to America for college.”

Joseph’s confusion kept him silent. His goal had been to get Holy open to the possibility of Jotaro attending an American college, nothing more. As far as he was aware, Jotaro hadn’t actually decided where he wanted to study yet.

“Now, Jotaro,” Holy replied, still smiling cheerily, “I know you love your jiisan, but don’t let him force you to make decisions you don’t want!”

“He didn’t. I mailed out college applications months ago.”

Ah.

Holy leaned towards her son, staring up at him with a crestfallen look of betrayal. “…Why didn’t you tell me?” she softly asked.

Jotaro glanced away, dipping his hat over his face. He uttered a faint “yare yare” under his breath.

“…It’s okay,” Holy sighed. “We...we could…I’m sure there’s still time to take them back! Or, or we could tell them—!”

“I’m going.” Jotaro raised his head, his eyes having found their usual sternness. “I already got accepted to a university in Florida. I’m going there.”

This was all news to Joseph. Jotaro hadn’t told him anything about applying to colleges or getting accepted. It wasn’t necessary, though. He knew Jotaro was more than capable of making good decisions on his own.

“J-Jotaro,” Holy stammered, “you can’t just decide something like this without thinking it through first!”

“I have thought it through.”

“But dear…even a month isn’t enough time for such a big decision!”

“It’s been longer than that–”

“You’ve also never talked about this with anyone!”

There was a pause, and though they never made eye contact, Joseph sensed Jotaro’s attention direct towards him in the silence. The two had started discussing Jotaro’s college prospects during their trip to Egypt.

Knowing his grandson’s hopes was the only reason Joseph was willing to attempt this conversation.

“…I have,” said Jotaro.

“W-well— we haven’t talked about it!”

“I heard what you told the old man.” Jotaro folded his arms, his eyes narrowed accusingly. “…You made that decision without talking to me."

A knot was twisting in Joseph’s stomach. This situation was looking…all too familiar. However, he kept his silence, not wanting to cause more problems for Jotaro than he already had.

It was time for Holy to be the flustered parent.

“Jotaro…I am your mother. I’m only trying to do what’s best for you!”

“…”

“You…don’t know what America is like, sweetheart. It’s so much different than Japan.”

“I know.”

“People are ruder there, dear. They’re rude and they don’t treat you well if you look or sound a certain way.” A sharp glance was cast at Joseph.

Jotaro scoffed. “…It wouldn’t be worse than here.”

Holy furrowed her brows. “…What is that supposed to mean?”

Jotaro rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Mom, I want to go to America. I don’t care what you or gramps think. This is for my education, not yours.”

Holy’s jaw dropped. “So...so you don’t care about leaving your poor mother all alone? You’re just going to—to be selfish?!”

Jotaro’s eyes went wide with hurt—with rage. After all he had suffered through for Holy's sake...Joseph didn't blame him.

Noticing her son’s expression, Holy’s own anger faltered into regret, but it was too late to take back what was said.

“...I knew it,” Jotaro muttered. He stormed back towards the shoji doors.

“Jotaro, wait!”

Holy threw her arms around the young man, tightly hugging herself against him. Jotaro froze in place, eyes darting in alarm towards Joseph, before his expression was overtaken by something Joseph could only describe as “detachment.”

It was as if something had finally snapped in Jotaro, severing the emotional link he had to his mother. Without moving a muscle, Jotaro had changed from uncomfortable to apathetic, staring blankly at the woman wrapped around him as though she were a total stranger.

“I’m sorry, Jotaro!” Holy blubbered. “I-I didn’t mean that—I-I know you care about me! I know you’re not selfish—I’m just—I’m just gonna miss you if you move so far away! I just want to be able to visit you, a-and…!”

“Good grief,” Jotaro grumbled. “Just catch a plane to America if you want to visit so badly.”

Holy buried her tearful face into his back, weakly shaking her head in response.

“…Sweetie,” she whispered through sniffles, “y-you know I don’t ask you for much… You can go to any university you want, and choose any major you want, but can you please stay in Japan for college? Please? …Would you do this one thing for me?”

Star Platinum appeared, gently but firmly loosening Holy’s grip as Jotaro pulled away from the embrace. Even still, Holy kept smiling up at her son through glistening eyes; still hopeful beyond hope that he would agree with her.

"I saved your life once, lady. ...I no longer owe you anything."

================

Joseph’s Japan visit had been cut short—not that he expected it to continue after his conversation with Holy went sour.

There was no last family dinner. There was barely even a goodbye.

It was painful.

Even with Jotaro seated next to him in the car, driving away felt wrong to Joseph; watching Holy’s mansion disappear in the rearview mirrors, knowing his little girl was being left all alone in such a big, empty place…

It didn’t have to be this way. If she—if he—hadn’t been so stubborn, maybe it wouldn’t have been. …But they had both been stubborn for a very long time now. Old habits weren’t so easily changed. With that in mind…perhaps this outcome was inevitable.

Jotaro’s eyes were distant. He was leaning against the passenger window, staring up at the moon. The young man had packed his suitcases immediately after ending the conversation, refusing to let Joseph leave without him. Joseph didn’t object.

It wasn’t until they were nearly at the airport that the silence was finally broken.

“I handled things terribly,” Joseph sighed. “I was trying to help her understand, but…”

“...At least you tried.”

…

“...You’re sure you got everything packed?”

“Everything that matters. …And if I didn’t, it doesn’t matter now.”

…

“...Your grandma’s gonna be miffed when she finds out what happened.”

“I don’t care. ...I’ll find a place to stay if she doesn’t want me around.”

“No, no—your grandma would never turn you away. …If anything it’s me she’s gonna kick out, ha ha!”

“Then she’ll have to kick me out too.”

“...It’s alright, Jotaro. ...I-I was only kidding, heh. I think the worst thing she’d do is make me sleep on the couch—ugh—my back aches just thinking about it!”

“...”

…

“...You…? ...How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. …Can't believe I’m finally leaving this god-forsaken place.”

“Heh, geez—and I thought I hated Japan!”

“...You know what I meant.”

“...”

…

“...Jotaro…you know your mom—”

“I don’t want to hear it, gramps.”

“... …Alright.”

...

"...Jiji?"

"...Yes, Jotaro?"

"...Thank you...for giving me the chance to get out of here."

"Don't thank me. I didn't end up doing anything you should be thankful for," Joseph thought to himself, but he kept his mouth shut. Now, more than ever, he had to be strong for his grandson.

"...Of course, Jotaro."

[darkcloudsatnight]

Just some advise I have for everyone going through a large change in life, whether it be graduating high-school/college in the next year or even just recently, moving somewhere far away, getting a new job, possibly getting married or considering it, just getting into a relationship, etc.

It's all going to be okay. I may not understand all the way what your going though, but I do understand that going through a big change in your life is going to be stressful. You're going to have all these thoughts of "what do I do now?" Or, "did I do enough here?" Or "Am I doing the right thing?", even "what do I do now?"

Even if you feel as if you didn't do enough, you did what you could with the time given. You may not have gotten along with everyone you wanted to, or for those graduating high school, maybe you didn't join all the clubs you wanted or socialize with as many people as you planned, but you did what you could in the time given.

If you question whether or not you're doing the right thing, if in a relationship or getting a job, maybe even moving, it's all normal. Nothing is supposed to really feel "right" or "normal" when you're making a big choice in life. Maybe in time, you'll realize that what you did was either the best or worst decision of your life, just know that what happens next is your choice. If you feel terrible about it for either making the mistake for the first time, or maybe for the second or third time, you can learn from the mistakes you know. It may sound childish, but learning from the past mistakes you've done really teaches you what to do in the future. Even if the choice you made was one of the best choices you've made, just know it can go down, and that's normal. Don't overstress about the fact that's it could go down, because it doesn't always go down, but when it does, remember it's normal and everyone goes through it. So, you're not alone, no matter how alone you feel.

As for the future for you highschoolers or college students, maybe people who just got fired, who knows what it will hold for you. Maybe you'll get a (or another) job and live on your own in an apartment or your own home, heck maybe even with your parents, or maybe you'll date someone and get married and live with them. Maybe you'll get a pet, or have/adopt a kid. No matter what, it'll all be okay, because that's what's supposed to happen in life. You may feel down and depressed sometimes, as if nothing can get better, but with time and change, it can get better. Life isn't a big field of opportunities. It's a rollercoaster of bad and good things. Either if those opportunities are something like a job or maybe marriage or something similar, just know that it can get better if you put the effort in to get better. You may not know what to do know, but sometime in the future, you'll know. It may be today, in two weeks, a month, a year. But in some amount of time, you'll know what to do. Its stressful, I get it. Just know that it can get better, or worse. It all depends on how you treat it. If you see it as a new opportunity in life, or as the end of something meaningful, just know that that is what life is. Things will end, opportunities will come to a close and may never come back again, relationships will either get stronger or weaker and eventually break off, you might get fired from your job, but know that everyone feels and experiences that, and you aren't alone.

I just hope that everyone that needs and reads this is feeling okay and that this just helped in the slightest. If you're feeling sick or unsure about what's going to happen, that's okay. It's how everyone feels at least once. Know that you're not alone when feeling this. Everyone has felt this at least one. It's your choice to feel better or worse about it.

(Here are some pictures of animals that I've seen to (hopefully) make you all feel better :3 )

[asterkiss]

3 for the confessions prompt

BASEMENT DWELLERS

Mabel Pines should have been enjoying a college beach party that evening filled with rowdy students, music, and perhaps a little underage drinking.

Instead, she found herself currently handcuffed to a pipe in a felon’s basement. But hey, as least she wasn’t alone, renowned asshole Bill Cipher was also locked down here with us!

Her parents would surely notice she was missing come morning and raise the alarm. But until then… she was stuck here. She had been trying to wiggle her hand out of the handcuff for the past twenty minutes, but all it had succeeded in doing was making her wrist red and achey.

‘This is your fault.’

She paused at that. Mabel raised her head, eyes falling on her classmate chained to the radiator on the other side of the room. She was surprised he was talking, he'd been sulking ever since she awoke ten minutes ago and hadn't said much. 'What?'

Bill stared up at the cieling, arms crossed over his waist as he casually sat on the floor beside his own pipe chained to his hand. ‘Ya heard me.’

Mabel raised an eyebrow. ‘How the heck is this my fault? You’re the one who was getting all chummy with a criminal!’  

‘Exactly. I had a plan and it was going just fine,’ Bill said sharply, sounding annoyed. ‘Then you had to stick your nose in and ruin everything.’

Mabel puffed out her cheeks in agitiation as she glared his way. First, he refused to look for a way out, then he refused to talk to her, and now he was being an ass!

‘Well gee, sorry for trying to care about you! I’ll just follow my brothers advice and stop talking to you then!!' She swung her head back down with a huff and returned her attention to the handcuff. In doing so, she missed the way Bill looked in her direction, expression tightening with an unreadable expression and hands clenching as the cavalier attitude slipped.

The metal edges of the cuff bit into the skin of her hand as she attempted to force it. She needed something to keep her mind focused on, otherwise she was going to start panicking.

She hadn't meant to care about Bill Cipher.

In the beginning, they'd been forced to pair up for a group project in school. The guy was definitely an ass and had clashed with her and Dipper several times over the years.

But here she was, four months later, caring about the guys wellbeing so much that she made the impulsive and unwise decision to follow an ex-con to his house in what she thought was a very undetected and sneaky manner.

(Apparently it wasn't either).

One cholorform attack later and here she was.

'Quit it.'

Broken out of her thoughts, Mabel glanced aside to find Bill watching her with a frown. 'What?'

'You're bleeding. Quit messing with it.'

She was? Mabel look back down to find she had indeed cut the skin on her hand. But before she could do anything further, Bill spoke again.

‘Why would you come here?’

She frowned, gaze still fixated on her wrist as she brushed a thumb over the cut, staining her skin red. ‘…I wanted to know if he was bad or not.'

'Well, I think ya got your answer.'

She bristled. Mabel had enough people calling her naïve and she was tired of it. ‘Oh yeah? Well, what about you?’ she retorted, sending him a sharp look. ‘How did you end up down here? I thought you said you had plan and everything.’ She didn't know what had happened between her being knocked out and awaking, only that Bill was down here with her by the time she did rouse from her forced slumber.

Bill’s nostrils flared, eyes drilling into her like ice. ‘I’m down here because of you, you ungrateful brat. Sorry for being a little careless in my rush to make sure you were still alive!’

‘Huh?’

‘Hell, sorry for caring about your annoying ass and trying to keep you away from the freak upstairs who killed my parents. Clearly, you didn’t want me to do that since you offered yourself on a platter.’

‘Wait, your parents? Wha-?'

‘And more than anything, I’m sorry I made the big mistake of falling for you, okay? But it happened and I can’t do anything about it so here we are.’

As Bill finished his rant and slumped back againt the wall, Mabel gaped at him with mouth wide open and eyes bulging comically.

Her poor heart had gone into overdrive. She wasn’t sure which piece of information to chew on first, instead finding herself choking on it all at once and unable to form a coherent response.

Bill had come here to save her? From the guy who killed his parents!? Because he LIKED her!?!?

Oh God, if she wasn’t already on the floor she surely would have fainted.

'Now, do me a favour and stay here.' Bill raised his hand that was chained up.

She closed her mouth, eyes returning to their ordinary size. 'Wait, what do you-HOLY FUCK!!'

The snapping noise as he broke his wrist was sickening. Mabel's mouth flew agape for a differnet reason this time as the blond freed himself, standing to his full height.

'What the hell? Bill!'

He smiled wryly and urgh, why was her heart fllipping in a situation like this? 'Relax, it ain't my dominant hand.'

Mabel grimaced. 'If you could do that, why did you wait until now?'

'Had to wait for the dizziness to go away.'

'Dizziness? What do you... oh jeez, you're bleeding!' As he turned away she saw the dried blood on the back of his head and realised his way of being knocked out hadn't been as nice as hers.

'See ya in a bit, Shooting Star. I'll be back when coast is clear.'

'What? No! Bill!' She yanked forward but could go no further than a few feet. 'You don't just get to drop that bombshell and leave me!!'

'I'll tell you about my parents later. Maybe.'

'I meant you saying you liked me!!'

The young man paused at the foot of the stairs, going still. Then, after a moment:

'I didn't say that.'

'You- Yes, you did!!' Ooh, she wasn't going to let him get out of this!! 'You said you'd fallen for me!'

She was sure she heard him swear under his breath.

Bill turned around with a dazzling smile, shooting her finger guns. (Hey, that was her signature move!) 'Well, I'm off. Gotta go kill a guy. It's legal if it's in self-defensive!' Wink.

Did he seriously just wink at that statement?

'Bill!'

He was leaving.

'BILL!'

Okay, maybe she could gnaw herself free.

[blazehedgehog]

Recently I’ve been playing, and loving, Penny’s Big Breakaway and it’s made me realize how stiff official Sonic games have felt since Sonic Heroes. It feels fantastic to chain moves together as Penny. While I don’t want a Sonic game to play exactly like Penny’s Big Breakaway I do want to enter a similar flow state while playing. Sonic Team seems allergic to making any gameplay/movement options that allows for flow… do you have any idea why?

That's the 65-million-dollar question, isn't it.

Several times over the years I've pushed back on the idea when people say Sonic "can't work in 3D." Of course Sonic could work in 3D, it just takes the right team to build it. The concepts and principals of a Sonic game are not exclusive to 2D. You can build a game on those ideals in 3D and it will work just fine.

If you go back and watch my "How Do We Fix Sonic?" video, I also put forth the idea that a lot of 3D Sonic games are the way they are because Sonic Team does not trust the player. To some degree, rightfully so: there's a growing pile of one-level fangame demos where some college kid tries to do 3D Sonic "right" and while a lot of them are okay, I think it makes for an easy case to see why official Sonic games have so much scripting in them.

When you're going that fast, and you're that acrobatic, it becomes very easy to make some incredibly dumb mistakes. It's not that nobody can play that game, it's that a game like that might struggle to achieve mass market appeal. Sonic is, first and foremost, a pick-up-and-play game. I've been thinking of that term a lot lately since the release of Ring Racers, and it basically means a game you don't have to learn. A game where you turn it on and know everything about it instinctively.

The entire pitch for Sonic was a game you could play with just one button. Easy to start playing, difficult to master over the long term. It's a tough balancing act. Especially when you're aiming for a game that a 10 year old can play.

When I was 10 years old, I couldn't even stay on the road in Super Mario Kart. That's what we're working with here.

So they make Sonic into this guided experience with heavy scripting where they can insulate the player from making dangerous mistakes. Lots of spectacle and minimal friction.

Now you add in the pressure of deadlines and budgets. A fangame like Sonic GT can spend five years as an alpha still figuring out its level design, tweaking its mechanics, before finally releasing a four or five level "game." Whereas an official Sonic game probably has to make a pitch, get to alpha, nail all of its controls and mechanics down relatively early. Probably within the first year of development at least, if not within a period of months.

Then they have to build a game for those mechanics. And, with being so scripted and directed, they can't deviate much. Once they're locked in, they don't have a lot of wiggle room to redefine what the game plays like.

That even goes for researching better ways to do things. I don't think these guys were given much of a chance to stop and think. Sonic Adventure 1 came out in October 1998 in Japan, that team moved to America to work on the September 1999 United States release, Sonic Adventure 2 was announced probably not even six months later, it came out within 18 months of its announcement just in time for that team to crank on the super rushed Gamecube port, which segued into an equally rushed port of the original Sonic Adventure, then their first multiplatform release on a third-party engine just a year or two later, followed by a sequel less than two years later, and another sequel less than two years after that...

Running and running and running and never stopping... and, well, I guess this is just what Sonic in 3D plays like now, right? That's the precedent. Sales are relying on not alienating people who are used to the way these games play.

Plus, it also depends on who within Sega is involved. I tend to agree that we shouldn't pin decisions all on one guy anymore for how many developers are actually involved in a game (200+ for Sonic Frontiers), but it's hard to deny that in the Morio Kishimoto era of 3D Sonic games, they've made a dedicated to effort to lock Sonic down and script his movements more than ever. Starting in Sonic Colors all the way up to the most recent Sega of Japan games, player movement is more restricted and automatically controlled than any other Sonic games to come before it.

Even Sonic Frontiers, for all of its open zone gameplay, once you touch a rail or one of those floating platforms, it tries to restrict and control you as much as humanly possible. Helicopter parent game design. "Do it my way exactly, or stop playing the game."

And I think all of this just collides with itself and makes a big ugly mess. I think it's telling Sonic Unleashed is such a cult favorite given its the closest thing we've had to a decent reboot of mechanics, even though it's still trapped in a lot of that scripted spectacle design.

[dearlcvers]

i hate you and your face - mileven fanfiction

CHAPTER 1/3

Authors Note: I haven't proofread this because I needed this out and off my chest so I hope it's okay... let me know what you think!

Mike Wheeler was not a fan of hosting house parties. Not because he didn’t enjoy  partying or found hosting particularly stressful but because no matter how hard he tried, he would always make stupid decisions. World Record breaking stupid decisions. Like the time he sold his roommates cat for 5 bucks, or when he sent an email to his entire phonebook detailing how long it had been since he had last gotten laid (this had been particularly humiliating after one of his college professors replied giving him an extension on a paper and wishing him luck and he quotes ‘i hope you use the time from the extension on the assignment to work on your flirting skills’).

His list of drunken mistakes included:

setting someone on fire

getting stuck in drying cement

and

dropping a plasma screen tv out of a window.

Oddly enough, this frankly insane behaviour was only limited to situations involving alcohol and his own property. Lucas’ theory was that Mike just let himself go more when he knew he was within the safe confines of his own house. This theory was yet to be fully tested because Mike has avoided hosting or going to parties for 10 months.

And yet here he is hosting once again. Dustin promised to not let him out of his sight and although Mike has faith in his friend he is not so sure he trusts himself to behave. The guys find this quirk of his amusing…and to some degree so does he but also this is not his favourite trait about himself.

But it’s Lucas’ 21st birthday and he wants to have a party. Originally Mike had agreed under the conditions that he would not be given a sip of alcohol under any circumstances but upon finding out Lucas was bringing his girlfriend’s incredibly annoying best friend he rescinded that demand.

He was not sure he could go through a night in El Hopper’s presence without killing himself or her. Alcohol seemed like the simplest way to dull the headache she always brought with her.

His dislike of her wasn’t exactly unwarranted either, she had made it very clear from the start that she hated him too.

To El he was nothing more than a moron with a massive ego and an inability to handle his drink at social events. She had been really looking forward to meeting Lucas’ friends for months only to be sorely disappointed when Mike had shown himself to be in her words ‘the worlds most annoying asshole’. She was still to this day unsure how Lucas, Dustin and Will, all really nice boys, were capable of hanging out with someone so blatantly rude.

Safe to say they were not fan’s of each other and this friction had stopped Max and Lucas from being able to merge their friendship groups the way they’d wanted.

To El’s credit she had tried really hard to be civil with him, multiple times, and every time it had ended in a massive blowout involving a lot of swearing.

So, the prospect of having her in his home was not a positive thing to Mike, and El was really dreading it. The hope for both of them was that if they both got drunk enough they’d be more willing to put up with each other for the sake of their friends. Add to that the fact that El has just been dumped by her boyfriend of 3 years and that she is in a fight with her dad… Nothing good could possibly come from this mix.

_____

Lucas is pouring everyone a shot to kick the night off. No one is due to arrive for another 30 minutes and the apartment is almost ready. The TV has been locked away from Mike’s reach as well as all car keys. Dustin has a set of handcuffs ready to use on Mike if things start to get lairy and Will has made a big varied spread of snacks and mixers.

‘Swear you won’t let me do anything stupid.’ Mike pleads to Dustin before necking the shot.

‘I swear a responsible adult will be with you at all times’.

Mike eyes his friend skeptically earning a confident grin from both Dustin and Lucas. The burning sensation of the Vodka in his throat temporarily soothes his perpetual anxiety.

‘Come on man you’ll be fine. You’ve not been crazy like that in like almost a year.’ Lucas offers encouragingly.

Before Mike can retort how unconvinced he is, the doorbell rings and Lucas runs to open the door. From the Kitchen Mike can hear Max…and therefore also El, greeting his friends. The sound of her grating voice carries through to him and prompts him to pour another shot. Dustin eyes him, handcuffs still in hand. But he needs to be sociable and really Mike has nothing against Lucas’s girlfriend. Max is funny and she’s good to Lucas and that’s all he can really ask for.

The girls and Lucas make their way to the kitchen, Mike braces himself for impact.

‘Michael Wheeler’ Max greets teasingly, approaching the kitchen island he’s leaning on.

His elbows are resting on the marble, head tilted up when El is finally within eyesight. He is greeted by a look of surprise, followed by clear annoyance. Predictably El looks as hot as ever. This irritates him more than her instant annoyance at his presence. Her hair is longer than laat time he saw her, golden honey coloured curls float just below her shoulders. She’s wearing a frustratingly short golden dress that’s shimmering in the dim light and her legs extend into a pair of open toed golden heels. He notices the way her body sways in a way he’d be embarrassed to say out loud. There’s a gentle blush painting her cheeks and he’s not sure if it’s real or one of those makeup tricks. Either way she looks good and this is annoying. Because it’s one thing to have to deal with a nuisance like her but the fact that the nuisance comes in such a pretty package is always bad news.

When he had first seen her Mike Wheeler had thought she was exactly his type and that he might want to ask her out sometime, but then she opened his mouth and that thought was burnt to a crisp.

He watches her face, careful not to leer anywhere else because as much as he hates her, he still respects her.

El is almost glaring at him from the kitchen walkway. She is experiencing a similar predicament. He looks sexier than she remembered. The instant rush of attraction that filled her already tipsy brain from the moment she stepped into the kitchen was a rude reminder of her current state of singlehood. Troy dumping her last week had sucked but Max had managed to convince her to come to Lucas’ birthday as a chance to rebound. But looking at Mike right now, she’s not sure anyone else at this party will be able to measure up to him. This is quite a blow to her because he sucks and she wouldn’t go near him with a ten foot pole.

‘Good to see you again Mike.’ El manages to choke out an insincere polite greeting he barely acknowledges, ever so slightly nodding before turning his attention to his male friends.

Jerk.

It doesn’t take very long for other people to arrive and the party is in full swing by 9pm. It starts with a few people Lucas knows from class that Mike vaguely knows from the last party Lucas invited him to. Then a few of Max’s friends that Lucas knows but Mike doesn’t show up and immediately El becomes the centre of their attention which is a relief to Mike because it means she is now deep in a conversation so separate from his own that he can breathe again. The urge to bite his nails off lessening. Still he feels like a part of his brain keeps searching out for her. Out of the corner of his eye he can see her leaning against the wall opposite him, laughing heavily.

I bet it’s not even that funny and she’s just laughing like that for attention.

For a while, they seem to be playing a game in silence. Like reverse magnets. Wherever one of them is, the other is at the furthest point possible in the medium sized apartment. When El gets herself a Tequila/Orange refill in the kitchen Mike leaves. When he goes to change a song by the speaker, she walks away. Like the force of his negative magnetic pull is enough to literally repel her and vice versa. They’re both very happy with this rhythm of avoidance until Mike overhears a conversation he cannot resist butting into.

By 10:30 Mike and El are both drunk and 40 minutes into a heated debate about the Barbie Movie.

‘All I’m saying is it doesn’t go nearly far enough in its criticisms of anything and why do we have to praise people for half-assing a political statement.’ Mike argues, hands crossed over his chest.

‘You clearly live in an echo chamber my friend’ the eye roll Mike can’t hold back following her use of the word friend urges El further. ‘The Barbie movie isn’t going to radicalise anyone. The majority of people have no concept of intersectionality or sexism and bringing them some elitist overcomplicated crap will not reach them the way a simplified explanation of the base problems will.’

‘No one ever made progress by treating their audience like toddlers’

‘Until we can boast higher than 24th in the world for Education I don’t think we should alienate the general public by talking down to them-’

‘First of all’ He interrupts her abruptly ‘if anyone is talking down to anyone…Dumbing down a feminist movie so the public can understand is incredibly patronising. Secondly, cite your sources where is that stat from.’

There is a small crowd of amused people watching them argue and El has to put a lot of effort to hide the fact that she is incredibly turned on right now. This man is arguing with her about feminism and he’s not on the opposite side??

The bar is in hell…

But not only that but he’s actually putting up a good fight. She’s not really used to any of her debating opponents to really make her fight for it like this, usually it feels like watching a cat play with its food.

By 11:10pm Mike has been handcuffed to Dustin for his own good and is silently sulking while Dustin hits on a girl in Will’s Art History class.

Mike tries to tune out Dustin’s attempts at flirting, he feels ridiculous and a little humiliated. Especially since Dustin called it a Time-Out. He knows this is for the best but the alcohol has started affecting the rational part of his brain that he starts coming up with schemes to entertain his friends and guests. Herein lies Mike’s downfall with alcohol and hosting…he gets to a certain level of inebriation where his anxiety and people-pleasing nature mixes with a confidence and need to be seen as a joker. Something pathological about being a class clown in your tweens.

Scanning the room he waits for something to catch his eye. As he observes the people in his surroundings his eyes are drawn to a shimmery golden blur and his alcohol soaked brain won’t let him look away.  The way she’s swaying with Max on the makeshift dance floor and moving her body to the beat is scratching an itch in his brain. An itch he would probably blame on her in the first place if he was able to think straight. But he’s feeling so relaxed and also at the same time somehow incredibly wired. He feels like someone turned up a sharpening effect on his eyes but calibrated the settings wrong because all he can see clearly is her. She runs a hand into her hair, pushing it up and then slides said hand down her chest slowly, her tongue stroking her teeth provocatively. Humiliatingly this is having a huge effect on him, so much so he starts to feel like a starving animal. It takes every ounce of self awareness left to stop himself from actually drooling. Her eyes are closed and she’s singing along to the lyrics.

How is it possible someone so whiny and annoying could be so gorgeous? Mike wonders to himself whether if there is a god this might be Her way of balancing things out. Or maybe….maybe she’s Satan.

This thought pleases him and he internally pats himself on the back for what he has decided is the perfect comparison. The grin on his face grows slowly but is abruptly interrupted by a strong tug on his arm as Dustin puts his hands on the art major’s face and kisses her. Mike’s loud protest at having his hand forcedully tugged against a kiss goes unheard above the music and he kicks Dustin who jumps. When Mike finally looks away again he sees a bright red El laughing at him. Directly at him. Infuriating.

He aggressively pulls on Dustin and stalks towards her. Her laughter doesn’t subside as he approaches.

‘Something funny Hopper’ he barks angrily, trying to get her to stop laughing. His intimidation doesn’t work and he watches in anger as her laughter turns hysterical, she can’t even speak. There’s tears building in her eyes and he doesn’t think he can stand it any more.

‘You are so insufferable.’ Still, she is laughing. He gives a look to Dustin as if Dustin will support him in this but he looks amused, smug almost.

‘I’m so glad I saw that you have no idea. How’s your timeout going?’ she mocks, her laughter quieting down.

‘It’s not really a timeout if i get to hang out with my friend. Doesn’t feel like a punishment.’ He feels so ridiculous right now.

She’s laughing again and then suddenly he feels his hand being pulled again and before he can process what’s happening he watches in horror as Dustin latches the handcuff to El’s wrist. He would lunge for the key but Dustin hasn’t drank as much and is much faster, throwing the key across the apartment into an area Mike can’t see.

El’s laughter chokes out as her eyes widen in horror. Now it’s Mike’s turn to laugh although he isn’t sure why because this is his worst nightmare. Something about the look of incredulous confusion on her face is just tickling his funny bone. He laughs bitterly.

‘What the fuck Dustin?’ she spits out still in shock

‘He’s not supposed to enjoy a punishment. He won’t enjoy this.’ Dustin replies so incredibly proud of himself.

It’s important to note that the music is still blasting and the beat swells just as El swears again, covering the sound of her obscenities.

As the truth dawns on Mike again he feels like sobering up, although obviously he doesn’t, which is evident by the fact that his legs are feeling mushy and wobbly.

‘Come on Dustin I’m done, let us go. I’m not going to do anything stupid. I feel good about it I will not make any bad decisions tonight.’ Mike pleads with his friend who is shaking his head. Both of them look around for a bystander to help them out but nobody else cares, no one has even noticed except Max who was dancing with El. El can tell by the look on Max’s face that she’s not on side right now and that clearly the joke of this situation is at a higher priority level in this moment than her loyalty to El’s friendship.

To Max it feels a bit like a deserved punishment for them both for constantly making it difficult for her and Lucas to spend time with each other’s friends.

After a few more minutes of protesting Mike and El finally accept that for however long Dustin sees fit they’re now handcuffed to each other. She can’t even leave the party to escape him. They’re stuck. So the only rational way through this predicament is for them both to down as many drinks as they can individually get their free hands on.

The last thing either of them remembers, is Will falling face-first into the beer pong table.

Then, nothing.

___

El’s brain kicks back into function with an abrupt start. Slowly she regains consciousness and her senses start to work again one by one. First her sense of smell kicks in and she can smell sweat and rosemary and the familiar rancid smell of morning after alcohol. The loud pounding in her head stands firmly between her and regaining her vision. Next comes her hearing and she’s happy the only thing she can hear is her own breathing. Except…as the breaths come in and out she starts to realise the sound isn’t synced. And the feeling of air pushing against her bare neck confirms her dark fear that it’s not her own breathing she can hear.

Suddenly the pain behind her eyes is irrelevant. She opens her eyes and although she’s fighting the screetching pain of the light in her hungover eyes she pushes herself to look down. There’s a long slender arm under her head and another wrapped around her waist. She is completely encased in someone’s hold. She doesn’t have time to try and figure out who the arms belong to when she notices the ache in her wrist and the realisation crashes down on her like a cartoon anvil. Her body goes stiff and she directs her brain to pay attention to the sensation around her right wrist and to her utter dismay the feeling of a cold metal handcuff stings.

That’s gonna leave a mark.

So…it’s him.

Ew I guess?

She inhales deeply letting the smell of him and whatever room she’s in overwhelm her. She feels a bit sickened but there’s no way to determine whether that’s due to the ungodly amount of alcohol she consumed last night. She chooses to blame the nausea on him. Except for some reaaon she hasn’t moved yet. She can tell there is limited clothing left on both of them by the way she can feel his bare stomach pressing into her back. He’s warm and his skin is soft.

But he’s still Mike Wheeler and the fact that they more or may not have slept together last night doesn’t change the fact that she hates him. Conveniently, she spots a tiny shiny key on the bedside table and it doesn’t take long till she’s somewhat slipped out of his grip, gently avoiding sudden movements because although this is already bad enough, having to talk to him about it would be immeasurably worse.

Once her wrist is freed from the cuffs she gets up to put her clothes back on, finally allowing herself to look at Mike. He looks so peaceful in his sleep, oddly enough the dark circles under his eyes don’t make him look bad. He looks like a dark angel fallen from a thunderstorm, curly hair draped over the side of his face.

Memories of last nights events flood her brain as she watches him. Memories of passionate kisses and almost angry sex. And it was good. Partly probably because of the alcohol involved in loosening her up but also because despite Mike being a clueless individual he clearly knows what he’s doing. Last nights events have changed nothing, not for El anyway. He’s still the jerk that purposely argues with her any chance he gets and acts like a spoiled brat when anyone exhibits any kind of individuality. The fact that his hands know what they’re doing doesn’t change how annoying he is. She’s adamant that what happened last night doesn’t change anything about them and she almost doesn’t think it’s worth ever talking about so she’s not going to write him a note.

Just as she makes this decision his eyes flutter open and he looks up at her, eyes wide. It takes him a moment to register everything that’s happened and what she’s doing standing by his bed. Before he can say anything or mock her in any way she speaks.

‘This changes nothing. I still can’t stand you. I’m going now. Thanks for the orgasm I guess… See you around probably.’ She sees a flash of hurt then anger in his eyes but before she or he can process this she turns on her heels and walks out of his room, slamming the door behind her.

Mike is left stewing in his anger alone, head pounding almost blindingly.

Authors note: This fic is also on ao3 but when I post chapter 2 I'll link it here and post it on this blog <3

[onlyswan]

hihi! so uhh 💫 anon here. i’m starting college in a week and i’m moving in on thursday and i am SO nervous… this is my first time away from home without my mom and i’m like scared… i don’t even know anymore, i’m scared to meet my roommate, i’m worried about finding a job, i’m worried about making friends. the person that i’m growing up to be is very different than what i imagined when i was younger and i’m TERRIFIED. like obviously college isn’t going to be like what it is in fics but that makes me even more scared 😥

and that’s very normal my loveeee 🫂 these are the first big transitions that we have to make in life. it’s a jarring experience, seeing the world unfold beyond your imagination and in the middle of it, also realizing that you have nobody to rely on, nobody to protect you, but yourself. i used to cry a lot lol i still do sometimes. but trust me!! you’ll eventually bond with your peers over feeling lost and the struggles of figuring out your lives 😭 you’re not the only one who’s afraid— that thought really comforted me. honestly you’ll never run out of things to be afraid of, so you need to learn how to take risks and overcome the fear of making mistakes because otherwise you’d never gain anything. that’s why it’s sooo important to choose your friends wisely!! my friends push me out of my comfort zone but they never let me trip and fall :( <3 they’re always there providing me support and encouragement. asking my seatmate’s name was the best decision of my life 🥺

annnd as much as you can, stay connected with your mom too and your friends <3 call or message them! talk about your day and ask about theirs! plus i think it also helps to establish a healthy everyday routine so you don’t drive yourself insane like i did :") don’t just hole up in your new place and explore to familiarize yourself with the new city. maybe with your roomie!! i hope you eventually find many things to be excited about ^_^ celebrate the small wins and keep trying new things.

also, this is just a personal philosophy but… having this new freedom made me do a lot of stupid, reckless stuff but i neverrrr let them affect my academic performance. always put your studies as top priority!! don’t lose the plot!!

and i could keep going but i think i’ve yapped too much and i was probably very unhelpful 😔 anyway i love you!! and i’m proud of you for taking on these challenges despite being scared <333 everything will be okay :D feel free to dm me if you ever need someone to talk to!!

[hirayaaraw]

Unbreakable Ties 6: In A Heartbeat

idol!Jaehyun x OC

Genre: Childhood Friends to Lovers; slow burn; angst

Note: After a long hiatus, I am back. I am sorry it took long. I will try to update more.

Tags: @yincotton @26zcl @ahtisa02 @joepomonerof @painted-hills @ukiyoneo @ourbeautifulaffair @wintersoulwarrior

Jung Jaehyun is a persistent man. If he says he will do it, expect results. That attitude catapulted him into stardom. As much as his attitude is desirable, Eunhye is hating it right now.

Jaehyun rushed to his car after the call. Saying goodbye to his mom and leaving her with the poor plant. Now, he is being cooed by her younger cousins and elders of the family. It became Jaehyun's fan meeting.

Apparently, her younger cousins are NCT fans while the elders are big fans of his dramas. Albums were signed left and right. Jaehyun enthusiastically entertained them and everyone congratulated you for pulling a guy like him.

In which Jaehyun replied, 'It's the other way around. I am the luckiest to have her.' Jaehyun said it brightly with his dimples showing. She almost forgot that they are pretending.

Just like their middle school and high school days, Eunhye watched him to be admired by everyone. He really has the star quality even kids are drawn to him.

"If Auntie Eunhye is your girlfriend, then can I call you Uncle?" Jaehyun lowered himself to be at eye level with her niece.

"Of course! I can be your Uncle Jae." The kid giggled and asked to be carried which Jaehyun obliged. A pain struck to her heart. That could be her son.

'You made the right decision.' She reminded herself. Eunhye carefully listed down his achievements in her mind and reminded herself that Jaehyun wouldn't reach those if things didn't go as she planned.

One night, one mistake shouldn't ruin his life. Eunhye knew Jaehyun worked hard to debut. Call her a martry or dumb but she would do it again in a heartbeat for her bestfriend.

Jaehyun saw the change of emotion on her face. He brought down her niece and went to her.

"Are you okay?" She nodded and tried to blink her tears away. Jaehyun noticed her tired eyes. "Should we go home?"

Eunhye nodded as a reply. They bid goodbye and made Jaehyun promise that he will come visit again. He happily agreed while holding her hand tightly.

"You shouldn't make that promise." Eunhye said once they are inside his car. She knew it was wrong to lash out to Jaehyun if he doesn't know anything.

"When did I break a promise?" Jaehyun scoffed when he sense her biting tone. She looked at the window while silently wiping her tears. Eunhye remembers how he will drop or do anything he can if she needs him. "You shouldn't be talking about promises if you ask me."

And it breaks her. Every pieces of her heart shattered. "Can you drop me off at my old house?"

She changed the topic. Jaehyun sighed as he failed to address the elephant in the room.

Once they reached her old house, they both alight from his car. Eunhye insist that she could handle it but Jaehyun stayed.

When they turned on the light, it was nothing compared to the bright and homey feeling of their childhood. Everything is so dim and lonely. Eunhye inspects each box trying to find something in the middle of the mess.

She smiled with loneliness. Eunhye brought it to Jaehyun and he noticed immediately what inside the box. His brows furrowed abruptly.

"Someone already bought the house. I won't be able to take everything so--"

"You are erasing everything about me." He held the box tightly. The box that contains their pictures, his gifts, and letters to her for every birthdays.

"Jaehyun..." She said his name lowly.

"11 years, Eunhye. For pete's sake, I waited for 11 years and this is all I got. Not even an explanation?" Jaehyun put down the box and turned his back to wipe his tears then faced her again. "I tried to contact you. Called your number, sent you thousand of message in facebook which you never opened, spoke to our high school friends, and even asked your college friends and professors but they all don't know."

Jaehyun rarely gets angry or cry but right now he is fuming angry and crying. She just stood in front of him calm as a sea but storm raging inside.

"Is it because of that night?" Jaehyun asked as this is the only reason he can think about.

"Why should we talk about something that happened a decade ago?"

"Stop ignoring my questions. I waited and lived miserably for 11 years without you." Jaehyun brushed his hair in frustration. "Do you know how it hurts to wait for someone you love when you never know if they will come back?"

Some people get their love confession in flattering way but Eunhye got hers in an argument. Eunhye blinked at him again and he groaned. She can hear him cursed himself for having the worse confession.

"We live in different worlds, Jae." He looked at her upon hearing her call him in his nickname. "We are meant to drift apart. You have the whole world in your palm and my world will be in Canada."

"And if I leave everything and come with you?" Eunhye felt her throat is hurting and eyes stinging from preventing herself to cry.

"You worked hard for all of these."

"For what? All of these but without you." Jaehyun laid his heart to her. Eunhye smiled bitterly hearing those words. Her early 20s self will never believe that she will hear those words years later.

"Don't destroy yourself for this." She said with finality. Eunhye picked up the box again and gave it to Jaehyun. "Leaving you still one of the best decisions I made."

Eunhye bought the earliest flight the next day. Fearing that she will crumble if she stays within Jaehyun's vicinity. Just like 11 years ago, Jaehyun woke up the next day confused. He went to her airbnb and to her old house but he couldn't find her. It's a repeat of his nightmare and he doesn't if he will be able to recover from this heartbreak.

2016

It hasn't been a year since Jaehyun debut as an idol under a group called NCT. Eunhye also started college that year in Seoul. Despite being in one city, they can't find a common availability to meet.

Jaehyun is in the middle of recording for their first mini album when his phone rings. It shows her name but he already told Eunhye that he will be recording so he declined. The phone rings again and for the third time he answers.

"Eunhye, I'll call in a bit. I am recor--"

"Hello! Is this the guardian of Lee Eunhye?" He freezed upon hearing a stranger's voice say her name. "You are on his emergency contact.

"What happened?" Jaehyun tried to be calmed but even his leader so him fidgeting and asked through sign if he is okay.

"Vehicular accident. She got a fractured arm but we will run more test to see if anything is wrong."

Jaehyun didn't waste anytime. He apologized to the producer and his teammates but he promised to give his best next recording.

When he arrived to the hospital and saw you lying in the bed of emergency room, he felt his knees weakened.

"What are you doing here? Your fans might see you."

"That should be my question. What are you doing here?" He put on a brave mask in front of her.

"Dumbass driver forgot to step on his break." Eunhye winced when she tried to move. Jaehyun immediately called a nurse just to check her.

When the nurse is gone, Eunhye laughed that made him frown because nothing is definitely funny about the situation.

"I can't believe we finally found a time to hang out and it's in an emergency room." Eunhye laughed in the absurdity of her thought but Jaehyun made a promise to himself to make time for her even if they have a busy schedule.

On that day, he realized that he will do anything for Eunhye in a heartbeat.

[kats-chaotic-wonderland]

Opinions no one asked for on the women in Arcane

Jinx/Powder- love you baby girl, but for the love of all of Zaun go to therapy and get antipsychotics

Vi- you make horrible decisions, particularly with girlfriends, but I love you now go take your sister to therapy. You have an appointment right after her.

Caitlyn- I don't like you. My baby deserves a better wife, but if she's staying with you, get better or I'm taking your other eye. Therapy. Deal with your grief properly. Go hug your dad.

Mel-baby girl i know you have mommy issues, I get it. But politics just isn't a good field for you, you're good at it, but it always ends bad for everyone else. Go snuggle your himbo, take a break, get therapy, go back to college.

Ambessa- get out. You have a wonderful daughter, but fuck you you absolute creep. Out. Go. And leave your pool boy twink in the therapist office as you go. And for fucks sake put pants on in front of your son in law!

Sky- baby, sweet girl. You are so fucking smart and beautiful and you can have your science twink, but please have some self preservation. He's literally just a guy.

Sevika- okay I like you, but we gotta talk about your betrayal of Vander. You know he didn't deserve that, a lot of this could have been avoided if you hadn't. I know Silco was your bestie, but come on girl. Do better.

Isha- *sobbing* my baby! Stop doing stupid shit because you see your mom do it!

Maddie- you know what you did. Following orders isn't an excuse. Get back on the ship with your creepy ass leader and get out.

Elora- you did nothing wrong, 10/10 best girlfriend. You deserved better.

Grayson- you did your best, you and Vander could have made things better. You are missed ma'am. O7

Cassandra/Amara/Shoola- all get at least ten wacks with the paper fan for being fucking terrible leaders.

Ximena- you did your best ma'am, your only big parenting mistake was taking your kid somewhere where you nearly froze to death. Still a better mom than most.

Lest- yeah we didn't like him either.

[existingisinconvenient]

Ramble #2

The statistics or claims about alcohol come from this source: Here

America is notorious for overconsumption, here it is heavily normalized, but nothing is more normalized than alcohol overconsumption.

If you have a hard day at work you go home and have a drink. Men often give their sons their first beer when they're around eleven to fifteen. College students are notorious for getting drunk and doing dumb shit.

This is completely normal, but it shouldn't be.

Why are we allowing eleven-year-olds to drink? Why are we saying it's okay to use alcohol as a coping mechanism? Why are we saying it's fine for twenty-year-olds to binge-drink and make dumb decisions without repercussions?

I get that giving a kid his first beer or a college kid throwing a party doesn't seem like a big issue, but it is. Underage drinking can damage or block the developmental pathways in your head. This can have lifelong mental, emotional, and even physical consequences.

In 2022 5.8 million people from aged twelve to twenty reported that they had drank more than a few sips in the past month. And 90% of all alcoholic drinks that are ingested by underage people are consumed by those who binge-drink. 15.1 percent of youth drink, and that's just the ones who admitted it on a survey.

Many see no issue with coming home from a hard day at work and having a drink, but that is often how alcohol abuse starts. People see no harm in it because it's just alcohol, but they begin to rely on it for its "therapeutic" qualities.

But alcohol isn't therapeutic. It's a drug like any other, it's just so damn normalized in society that most don't know the risks.

Alcohol isn't something that solves your problems. You drink to forget, and then you remember the next day, it's as simple as that. Your problems are still there, but now you have a hangover. It does nothing to lessen your issues or anxieties.

Alcohol use in celebration is—in most cases—a good thing, but it should not be used to stop suffering because the only thing that alcohol will do is worsen it.

But the issue of the normalization of alcohol reaches its peak when you have children. When you drink around your kids you are only further normalizing it. You do dumb things when you're drunk, but now your children have to watch you stumble and slur your words.

Alcoholics with children affect their kids regardless of whether they're mean drunks or not. You change when you drink, a child at any age will understand that. Your kid will in some way or another begin to associate alcohol with happy.

And if there is ever a time in their life where they feel like shit then that will be the first damn thing that they run to, because they have been shown their entire life that alcohol makes things better.

Even though it doesn't.

I am saying this as the child of two alcoholics. If you get drunk around your children they will 100% remember it, they will remember the time you got hammered and fell down the stairs, they will remember every time they had to coax you into bed at two am, they will remember every time you said something hurtful while drunk.

And your children will resent you for it. It is hard to respect somebody like that, regardless of whether they're a parent. Children need stable parents, you don't need to be perfect, but you can't just stop being a parent the moment you start drinking.

Because that's what you're doing. Your kids will realize that you aren't available to be a parent once you start drinking. They'll learn not to ask for things once you've picked up that bottle. You aren't in the right mindset to be a parent when you start drinking, so often times these children just won't have one after a certain time of day.

And often times children of alcoholics become alcoholics later in life. They lack the stability of a normal childhood, they lack the emotional maturity that they should have learned with you. So they pick up the bottle and they make the same mistakes.

And it's sad because that's what you taught them. That is literally all they know to do.

—S.H