#college thoughts

[i-live-in-my-bookshelf]

Me missing classes so I can go to the library for studying for said classes is the most university-esque thing I did today

[procrastinator-studies]

day 1/123

hi! little big update in my life, I finished university! well, almost, I need to finish my masters thesis and I'm not gonna lie, it´s a bit scary, so here I am, starting to upload again to get mysfel working!

Today is the first of july and I need to submit my tesis on october 31st (the reason for the 123 days) so the plan is to write a chapter a month or so. I've already organized my schedule so I can create deadlines for myself, take a week off (I don't know if I'll really be completely disconnected or if my computer will go with me) but we'll see and try not stress too much.

I'm a very anxious person and I'm going through a breakup after finishing college and I'm already thinking about doing my internship abroad, it's been a lot, I just can't break now, let's be positive and I'll believe in myself and my abilities! let's do it!!

[cb-writes-stuff]

Today’s realization about college:

I can literally do whatever I want in class. If I’m feeling stressed out/overwhelmed/overstimulated, absolutely no one is going to stop me from putting in my AirPods and looping “City of Tears” for an hour while I work on a lab.

[smorp-a-dorp]

Me trying to write an email to a professor: Hi—

Gmail autocomplete: FIRST NAME??? FIRST NAME??? YOU WANT TO CALL THEM BY THEIR FIRST NAME??? YOU WANT TO GET CRUCIFIED BY THIS PERSON YOU RESPECT AFTER CALLING THEM BY THEIR FIRST NAME???

[reminiscingtonight]

If I have to read another academic paper about nicotine use, I will, in the words of our lord and savior Taylor Swift:

[pandannon]

I have a friend and past roommate that I am still very close to. She’s a great person and I like her a lot. We still all follow the social media from our university so we know all the events going on and the shows/concerts etc… (even though we all moved across the country so it’s not like we are going to go back to campus for any of them).

And my friend, she has a major case of FOMO, which is fine, that’s her baggage not mine. But sometimes it does get me down a bit. She obviously misses our college days dearly and wishes she could go back. I also miss the time I spent in college with my friends and learning cool and challenging things, but I don’t want to go back. It’s easy to forget how hard those years were, both academically and personally. Those years were not the best years of my life, I know that for certain, and I can only work harder to make sure that every year in my future is better.

As cliché as it is, Next Semester granted me validity to feel this way. It’s ok to look back at what people say are “the best years of your life, just wait they will fly by and you’ll wish you could go back�� and to be so fricken glad they are over. 

I have my friends, I have my degree, and I’m much stronger/smarter/better than I was before, and that’s enough for me, I don’t need rose tinted glasses. 

[bxti]

glad to be in the era of where I’m not in any fandoms, which is also called the 2nd year of college oh my god what the fuck am i doing with my life what is going on era

[yinshiroyangkuro]

Some undergrads have started calling me sir... I'm still processing this

[a-story-teller]

Why did I decide to go back to college. Classes won't even start for 3+ months. It's not the classes that are the problem, it's the getting set up to attend classes. I hate academic systems so much

[i-live-in-my-bookshelf]

It's almost that time of the college year when I revisit my inherited religious beliefs and start praying to God to let me pass my end of term tests

[itsprashimusic]

do i like a subject or is it the teacher?

[second-wolf]

Warning, this is going to be a very rant-esque post

I feel like one thing no one warned me about college was the intense feeling of “other-ness”. There are days where I feel like I’m a nomad in my own body or just in general. I’m not who I was before I graduated high school (something I’m in all honesty grateful for), but I’m also not sure who exactly I am now, because back then, when I was in that process of *becoming* I had friends and family to ground me and remind at the very least of who they saw me as.

That isn’t to say I am entirely without a concept of self and my personal identity, but it’s like trying to stay in the ocean with no anchor. I have no home that I can really go back to easily. My dad luckily does live like 5 minutes down the road from me, but that isn’t *my* home. There is no familiarity in the walls even though they have memories on them.

Even when I do visit home, we moved over the summer to it feels even more unfamiliar even in spite of there being familiar faces. It’s like visiting a foreign facsimile of something that you used to know.

I feel as though this will slowly work itself out, especially once I get out of the dorms and can finally have *my* place.

It feels like being on a plane as it descends and gravity shifts, but it keeps shifting and the buckles are gone, the plane is gone, but I’m not falling, it’s just this odd limbo where nothing makes sense and it sometimes feels like I’m drowning in the air.

I apologize for blasting your page with a random person’s crisis, but I needed to put this somewhere because writing things out helps me think, and I suck at keeping journals.

If you want to, please, pray for me? I know things will stabilize eventually but right now it’s so in flux that I’m not sure when that eventually will be.

[trunerdcore]

Existing- circa 2021

I refuse to accept that I exist. That my life will go on after my second round of school. That I will have to figure out where my life will lead.

It's overwhelming.

To know that I will have to make the decision to stay or go. That I will have to settle in on what to do.

I don't know where to go. I don't know where I'm going.

I want to keep pretending like I'm not living my life. I want to keep pretending that I will never have to feel cold and alone again.

But as I reach my twenties and my third year [of college] approaches, I am learning that I hate change and I hate existing. It's draining, exhausting, and not good for my anxiety.

I just want it to be figured out. Where I wanna go. What I wanna do. Where I wanna stay.

But the only way to figure it out is to go through it. Because my plan now has my dreams on the back burner; never over making money.

But if a dream is in the shadows, how long can you remember it's there. I can't keep saying we'll see how it goes or I'll see how I'm feeling.

The time to figure this out is vastly approaching and I don't feel ready.

Truth is I'm scared to exist.

Within existing I will have to face my dreams for what they are. Within existing I'll have to find my way out of darkness. Within existing I will have to face myself and what's around me. Within existing I will have to commit.

I know I say it all the time but, This is the part of the movie I wish I could skip.

(It is so interesting to read and type this out now. I have been trying to convince myself that I like change, but here is the evidence that I don't. So maybe it's less that I like change and more that I know it is inevitable. I also feel like from this, which was just sitting in my notes app, it is apparent how much security and comfort I find in writing. It's the only place I feel like I can be honest. Almost like the words I write are my reality and everything else I think is trying to distract me.)

[blabberoo]

headcanoning Ford is a much bigger menace than Stan during highschool days but he gets away with it..

[off-the-clark]

What "School of Communications" Really Means

Earlier today, I was talking to a friend of mine about how most of my news has come from my peers who want to break into the network TV news industry. He reciprocated the feeling and remarked that he can't remember the last time he got his news from a student at our school. It's a bit of a weird feeling because I tell people that I'm a "diet film" major studying television production, but my school as a whole considers itself a "communications school."

It's a funny term. "Communications school." The one program that's ragged on at other schools is our flagship program next to musical theatre and physical therapy, but the name itself still just as vague here as it is in most places in America. We have everything from film and TV to journalism and advertising. Anything that involves communicating something to another, we probably have it.

To the average person this doesn't sound like something to be concerned over. After all, it's not like it's my life now? It's going to be my life in the future!

Which is exactly why I'm concerned. The culture at a communications school kind of teaches you that this is going to be your life and you better get used to it. The same peers you're cracking cold ones with at that one apartment party you met at is going to be the same person giving you the news at home on your TV before you go to work at a small production company.

Communications school is more than just learning how people communicate. It's film school, journalism school, and then some all in one place. There's not many places that do it like communications schools, but the fact that it's my life now and potentially my life forever is a little... yeah.

I mean, I'm not that concerned, but it's a valid thought to have when everyone is inexperienced, including yourself. How do you know that what you're listening is correct if you don't bother? But at the same time, you don't have that much time anyway because it all goes to extracurriculars and studying.

It's probably a me problem if we're being honest. After all, most of those people get their news through AP ENPS anyway.

[goobstergoo]

getting to the part of college where i’m really enjoying my classes and actually actively learning skills for like. what i want to do and learn about is so sick. like oh i didn’t hate school i just hated the parts that made me feel stupid. now i’m in my Niche : ^ )