#thesis writing

[salvadorbonaparte]

How to set up a research journal

This is just one way you can set up a research journal but it's helping me tremendously so maybe it also works for you. My set-up is partially inspired by this video by Answer in Progress and I suggest you check out their curiosity journal.

Preparation

First you need a notebook. The trick is to find a notebook that you're not afraid to "ruin". We all want a really neat, aesthetic research journal, but the reality looks more like hasty scribbles, but that's okay, that's where the research breakthroughs happen.

I personally bought a cheap lined notebook from Søstrene Grene that I thought looked cute and put a sticker on it. That way I feel good about using it but I also don't mind when my handwriting gets messy because it was only like 3€.

You should also stock up on pens you like writing with. Different colour highlighters and post-its are also a good idea but not a must. Keep it cheap but comfortable.

Title Page

Here you should put down all the really important information: year, title, deadlines, word count, supervisors. Maybe add an inspirational quote to spice it up but keep it simple and relevant.

Key

This should either be your next or your last page. I personally use the last pages of my journal so I can add thing and find it easier. Your key is there to list abbreviations and symbols.

For example, I have different symbols for statistics, dates, new terminology, questions, breakthroughs, important notes and abbreviations for the most important terms in my field. It's shorter to write T9N than Translation.

The trick here is to have enough abbreviations and symbols to save time and effort but not so many that you constantly have to look back and forth between your page and key. They should be memorable and not easy to confuse.

Topic Mind map

If you hate mind maps you can skip this of course or use a different method but what helped me is to visualise all the topics that connect to my research project in a mind map. I then colour-coded the main groups of topics with my highlighters. It helps me to keep an overview on how many topics I need to do research on.

Proposal

If you're writing a thesis/dissertation it can be helpful to have a page set aside for your proposal and take some bullet point notes on methodology, chapter structure, research context, aims and objectives and think of some titles. You can also do this for your lit review and a list of works to include.

Hypothesis and Question Pages

I set aside four pages for this but you can adjust this to your needs. The first page is my hypothesis. It doesn't have to be fully formed yet, it can just be bullet points with five question marks. You can always revise and update it but it is important to keep an eye on what you're actually trying to find out.

The next idea is basically just stolen from Answer in Progress: a section for big questions, medium questions and little questions. These aren't necessarily hypotheses you aim to answer but questions you have about your topic that might be good to look into (maybe they lead somewhere, maybe they don't).

Research Notes

Now comes the big, fun part. Research notes are allowed to be a little messy but you should have some sort of system so you can actually find what you're looking for afterwards. I'm currently just looking at books and articles so that's what my system is based on. You can totally adjust this to include other forms of research.

What I do is that I put down and underline the author and title of my source. Underneath that I use my highlighters and mark the topic of the paper based on how I colour-coded them in my mind map. You might have to do this after you've finished reading. For example, if a text talks about censorship and dubbing in Germany, three of my topics, I will draw three lines in light blue, dark blue and red, the colours I chose for those topics. This way you can easily browse your notes and see which pages are talking about which topics.

When it comes to the actual research notes, I include the page number on the left and then take bullet point notes on whatever is relevant. These are often abbreviated and paraphrased but if something is especially important I will write down a full quote.

As mentioned earlier, I have a key of symbols I use so I can simply put down a '!' in order to differentiate a research breakthrough from a normal note. You can insert your own thoughts much more easily when you know you'll be able to tell them apart later on. At the end of each article, book or even chapter I write down my main takeaway.

Other Notes

This is your research journal and you can do with it what you want. I also added lists of films that might be relevant for my research, a list of databases and publishers to check for papers and tips on research strategy.

If you're working with interviews or surveys you could write down your questions. If you're nervous about your research you could include a list of reasons why your research project is important or why you're doing it. You can include a to-do list or a calendar to track meetings with supervisors. Anything that helps you with your research.

[equinesandeducation]

Lunch prep for the office and a run at home, because my home shower is just that much better 😌

[lottiestudying]

17.07.2023—brb birthing a thesis. currently in a love/hate relationship with the literature review (it’s mostly hate)

[study-for-hogwarts]

Since I just finished my bachelor thesis and have all this -for now- unnecessary knowledge swirling around in my head, I let it out here, in case anyone can find it useful.

I present: the biggest (formating & general) rules in thesis writing (as proposed by my German professor):

1. Per page: at least 2 maximum 4 paragraphs. Professors don't like to have one huge block of text for more than half a page. They will be less likely to want to read your paper.

2. Figures and Images: put them in the text where they are spoken about, don't just refer to them being in the appendix. It disrupts the reading flow and no professor likes to shuffle back and forth in a paper multiple times. Also, images and figures should be centralised on a page, seem coherent with each other in their entirety (especially if you created them yourself, use one colour and design pallette if possible) and be named correctly. Additionally, ich you use more than 3 or 4 images/figures, have a table of tables/figures in the front of your paper after table of contents.

3. Use figures and Images - be visual, make your thesis as easy as possible to understand. No one likes to read something and have his brain in knots the whole time.

4. Use times new Roman (or Arial) in size 12, 1.5

5. Recap: If your paper is really long, we're talking about 45 pages plus and you are talking about something from chapter 2 in chapter 7, briefly (!) recap it for ease of understanding and to reinforce your red string (roter Faden).

6. Subtitles: rather have too many than too few subtitles, they make it easier to navigate the paper and help you keep track of the smaller sections (they can also help in the writing process as too not lose focus of what you are doing).

7. Limitations and future research: at the end of your paper, after the discussion and before the conclusion, you have to name limitations. If you think you had none, look again. NO paper, none at all has no limitations. If you can think only of a few, you can also add them in one or two sentences to the conclusion, but it's better to have a separate part. For theses or papers in general, common limitations are time constraint, limited access to data, limited know-how, etc. After limitations, you can have another small chapter called "future research", here you can put all the ideas that you had during writing, which are in relation to your main topics. Maybe you would have liked to research more into a specific area, or you were missing key information somewhere. In future research you can put all the ideas you would like to see researched in the future.

8. Page numbers: i hope you were clever and formatted your document with page numbers, titles and subtitles before even starting to write (if you weren't, like me), it's not horrible, but it can be slightly annoying. Don't try to do it by yourself if your not sure. Just don't. You will probably get frustrated and your stress levels will rise even more. Just Google "how to multiple kinds of page numbers Microsoft word" and follow the instructions exactly. This saves you time and nerves. Usually in theses, you use Greek page numbers (I,II,III,IV,V,VI,...) For table of contents until the introduction, and then continue with them as soon as your bibliography starts. For the part in between (introduction until conclusion) you use Roman (?) numbers (1,2,3,...).

9. Titles: if you use 1. 1.2 1.2.1 etc., make sure that it is necessary to use things like 4.5.5.1.1. A rule of thumb is, if you can't say 2 (i.e. 4.5.5.1.1 but not 4.5.5.1.2) than you don't need to say 4.5.5.1.1 at all but put that part unter 4.5.5.1. Of course, this rule does not work all the time, but I like to check the necessity of my structure in this way.

10. Plan more days: When you are nearly done with your writing process, many of us estimate 1 day for formatting and 1 for proof reading. This is, was and never will be enough. Especially not if you are a perfectionist. Plan at least 1 week for formatting and proofreading. Honestly I would recommend 10 days. Because after writing a huge paper like this you are bound to be exhausted and will crash some days. Also, it is good to take 1-2 days of distance from your work to have a fresh point of view. If I would write a bachelor thesis again, I honestly would calculate 2 weeks for formatting and proofreading. If you have to "fix" your sources, definitely take 10 days. You will take 2 days for sources, if you have to find additional ones, or check them.

11. Last but not least: if possible, register your bachelor thesis (i.e. in Germany that is the point when you officially start your writing period (usually around 9-12 weeks) as late as possible. Do as much research, etc. before this time starts. I won't say write at least half of your thesis before you start this period and have all your questionnaires/interviews/or whatever research type you use ready to go. I won't say that, but well... Just, 9 weeks is nothing. Honestly, think about the 2 weeks towards proofreading, sources and formatting (+trying to get calm after being stressed continuously for 7 weeks (I was)). Just, if you think now is the time to register, wait another two weeks.

That's all for now, I know I will use this again for my master thesis, so I will leave this here for now. I hope it helps some of you too.🤗

[agent-grey-fics]

Mutuals I need your help with my thesis!

I’m writing my thesis on fandoms and I’m including a part about Tumblr. I’ve talked with people irl but now I’m wondering ‘why didn’t I just post on Tumblr?’

So I’m wondering: How did you endup on Tumblr and why do you like this platform in connection to your fandoms?  reblog this or send me a DM with your answers, everything will be anonymized!

Stay golden! 

Lexi

UPDATE: i submitted my thesis a couple of days ago so feedback isn’t needed anymore. Thank you so much for all the replies!

2nd UPDATE: I graduated!

[goeticarchaeologist]

I've Submitted My Master's Thesis!!!

[neat-deadandlive-things]

Thesis written

Coffee made

Strange inspirational sticky notes put up

Guess who's thesis will be submitted by the end of the week!

[i-fucked-your-milkshake]

Writing a thesis is easy. All you gotta do is constantly think “I should be working on my thesis” and then not work on your thesis for months and months.

[the---hermit]

Thesis writing tips from someone who is currently writing their thesis

As I was working on the first chapter of my thesis I realized there's some things to keep in mind in order to make things easier. I am far from having the whole thesis writing experience, but I felt like doing this post now that this first experience is fresh in my mind. There will be other thesis-related posts, for now if you want to check out my thesis work experiece you can read my daily entries on here. The posts in which I have included these entries are all tagged as #thesis diary if you are interested.

When reading articles and sources use different colours to highlight important informations. If you find parts of the text you know you will want to quote in your thesis use a specific colour and tab them. The more precise and accurate you are the easier it will be during the writing process.

Also annotating ideas and thoughts on the margins will help during the writing process, because you will be able to link your own ideas to specific sources that helped you to get there.

Have a separate file with all the footnotes you'll have to include. If you have everything written down, and just have to add the specific pages last minute you will save a lot of time. This way you'll also make sure to have all the footnotes written in the same style (this is a lifesaver, believe me).

In the same way have a separate file with the bibliography you'll have to include at the very end of your thesis. Writing it piece by piece as you add sources to your work will make sure you don't forget any source, and it will make the task less overwhelming.

If when reading articles and sources you write down notes, for the love of god write near each piece of information the exact page you found it on. If you don't you will waste so much time to find it when you'll need it. You can keep your notes in the format you like best, but having the number of pages near everything will save you so much time and work.

The more organized you are when collecting your sources the less time you'll waste when writing. So keep your notes clean, write down even those informations that seem useless at first, make sure to know exactly where you found each article, and so on, you'll thank your past self later.

I found having a notebook fully dedicated to my thesis very useful, to navigate in it quickcly I used big clear headers, tab notes, and an index. This will all become very helpful once you have gathered a lot of informations. The research process is messy, try do everything in your power to make it as organized and as clear as you can. (I am going to create a post dedicated to my thesis notebook, so keep an eye out for that if you are interested).

When you add things to part of the text you had wrote already make sure right way that the footnotes are still accurate. The more you pay attention to it right away the less confusing it will be later. If for example in a footnote you referred to the previous, and add a new one in the middle, things could get confusing so try to keep an eye out for these things as you do them.

Having a rough plan of the structure of your thesis can be helpful to know how to refer to certain elements in the text. I'll use my own thesis as an example, I am writing about some witchcraft accusations. Knowing where in the text there is going to be the first proper exposition of the facts is helpful to know how much context I have to give when writing about people or facts in other parts of the thesis.

Do you have interesting and useful informations that don't fit perfectly with the main body of your text? Footnotes are your bestfriends, you can add insight, comments, further explanations, without breaking the flow of the text.

Make sure each chapter starts with an introduction of what you are about to discuss, and end it with a small summary of what you said. This will make your writing look much more intentional, and ties in everything nicely together. Once you are sure of the order of the chapters you should also tie the chapters together, by hinting to the next one in the conclusion of each one.

I feel like these are all the potentally useful thing I have realized during my work so far. There's surely much more to be said, and as I learn more, I will make sure to share the useful informations I get. As mentioned I am currently working on a thesis notebook post! Till then I hope this was somewhat useful, thank you for reading!

[secretnameofeverydeath]

slowly deleting all the 'seems' and 'i want to' and 'suggests' and 'think' from my research article and simply stating it as it is, as i believe it is. doing away with the carefulness. being open for attack and criticism, for someone to come in and tell me: no, it is not like that. not attempting to build an impenetrable fortress of an article or argument. leaving holes for others to look through, to patch up, to rip until they destroy my whole idea. there is no learning without making mistakes, there is no learning without being vulnerable. this is me standing up for myself. this is me not being afraid of making claims, of believing in what i have read and thought about for a year. embracing my vulnerability in argumentation, in philosophy. not hiding behind phrasing things so that they become impossible to argue with. i want to leave academia with my head held high, a firm belief i am often wrong and there is a lot i do not know or understand, but that is completely, utterly okay as long as i remain open. open to be proven wrong, to receive criticism, to share knowledge, ideas and recourses, to provide, and to, if necessary, fight.

[a-curious-studyblr]

I estimated a task to take 2-3 hours but it has taken 6 hours and still isn't done

[equinesandeducation]

My favorite study buddy helping me through my thesis writing 🙌🏻🍀

[genericaestheticist]

[thearcaneuniversity]

so proud of myself...

after many days of stressing myself over this... beating myself up about not being good enough… I finally sent my first draft to my professor.

I know it may not seem like much, but I have been so paralysed with fear and worry that I had been putting it off for literal years. I should have finished my studies two years ago, if not earlier.

but after two years of struggling with my BA thesis, I finally managed to move forward!

what's more - the chapter had been far from finished! I didn't do a great job! and I'm so happy with finally allowing myself to not be perfect! I managed to ask for help. such a simple and yet harrowing thing to do...

it's never too late to start all over again or finish this thing that had been weighing you down.

[just-anka]

A golden day in all the ways 🧡

[thefadingyouth]

Thousand Miles to Find a God

word count: 3000

The blood in my mouth was a small comfort to remind me that I was alive. A swift punch to the face and a stumble back as I stared into the crowded bar. My mind tried to find a way to spin this story as I took another step back. A hand touched my shoulder, causing me to jump. A woman in fine fabrics and gold jewels glistened on her face; my body was without air for a moment as she waved the brutes off. Her smile was like wine, addictively sweet, as she walked with me to the treeline.

Day 5456 of the Journey

“Dad? Dad!” My daughter’s voice awakens me as I'm greeted by the sunlight. I sat up as my sweet girl moved to tack the horses. Dazed by the golden rays greeted alongside her, a vision of her mother. I on the other hand looked of death, as she had been up for longer.

 "C'mon, old man.” Was the next thing I was greeted by as she hurried me to pack up our supplies, her least favorite chore. It had been years since we began this adventure, since her 15th birthday, and now, on the cusp of her 18th, we had traveled over four kingdoms. The summer sun beat down on us today, and many complaints flowed from my girl. 

“Tonight I’m cutting my hair.” Was a favorite of hers today as a combination of Mud deciding to run and the strong breeze caused her to lose most of her composure. The gelding already had made it known that he refused to follow the pace.  

“Yeah, you said that last week, kid.” I laughed. I looked back at her thick black hair, which was then tangled in the wind. The only thing she gained from me was that attitude. The path we followed coiled like a snake, leading us to the nearest town, and despite the troubles that we had faced, all I had was a smile.. We pitched camp for the night a few miles from Old Kilshire, as it was the summer equinox 

Day 5457 of the Journey

“Hey chickadee, ya ever wanna see where your old man grew up?” I covered my anxieties about my return with optimism as we reached the gates of Old Kilshire. The town was a bustling trade route due to the many rivers flowing from it, and it showed as we trotted into town. Fresh carts of fish and fruits sat along the path, as we entered the market. The smell was a delight, despite looking at the horrendous look on my daughter's face. 

“Ugh, you like this smell??” She gagged out as we stopped at an old tavern. I nodded, soon dismounting and tying the horses up. The aged oak doors greeted me as we walked in, as the music roared out. We walked into the tavern, I saw an older woman—her figure lost to time, now old and frail. She calls out her usual greeting until her eyes meet mine. Tears pooled into her eyes, as she smiles. 

“Dear Artie, sit, sit.” She called, tapping at a seat near her. “You look like your father.” She spoke as if I were still a child. She analyzed my aged face as I sat beside her, soon changing her gaze to my daughter. They appeared to be in a deep conversation without speaking a word to each other. The contrast between them was startling, but I forgot how my mother’s eyes shined like emeralds. The two shared this, maybe by coincidence, but as I shifted in my seat, I once again caught their attention. 

The evening came with less rest than what we’ve had for a while, between my sudden return and the festivities of the summer’s equinox. I sat on the porch of my childhood home, my daughter resting on my old bed.

“Now, Arthur, why didn’t you come home?” I heard my father’s voice join me.

“It’s not that simple, ol’ man.” I tried to dissuade him from this, I didn’t need this less than a month from our destination. 

“Arthur, you disappeared for almost 19 years.” His voice was like gravel “We thought you died, and now you turn up with a strange girl?” 

“That’s your granddaughter, not a strange girl. Trust me.” 

The music could’ve drowned out this conversation if I had tried. The moon was full, and people were wild as they celebrated in the streets. We stayed quiet, and after a few minutes of silence, he spoke once more. 

“Kid, you worried your mother to death; we mourned you.” I sat watching his face, the worry in his voice, and the wrinkles that were once faint now fold over each other.

“I get that; I was...busy.” I didn’t know what to say, and I couldn’t apologize. I wasted no time. “You didn’t see the mess on the field—men dying in filth and cities turning to ash.” His face was unmoved as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

“I know, the town was nearly destroyed.” His voice once sounded kind. “What happened to you, though?” 

War is brutal, and when fueled by the divine, it’s worse. The plan we created was horrendous, and as the general walked out of the tent, I grabbed his arm. 

“Leon, we can’t do this; it goes against everything we know.” His face and the glare I was given lacked any humanity.

“Longstern, I said, burn it down. End of story.” I stood there, watching him leave. I knew I had been horrendous, unredeemable even. Now I watched the man I had trusted with my life disregard innocent lives and so many innocent people. 

“No...” I watched his face turn into a scowl. 

A quick pain, a broken nose, and my body in a ditch. 

I shook my head, trying to erase any remnants in my mind. My father understood at this moment; we both stared out at children in the streets chasing each other with wooden swords. 

“Her name’s Ashae.” I sighed out, “She honestly answers anything but.” 

“Good name, strong one too.” He shorted out. “She reminds me of you, Ornery.” He patted my shoulder as he laughed, coughing, reminding me of our age. 

 The bright moonlight shone on my father’s figure, his face a mirror to mine, as he turned to go inside. I remained on the porch, taking my father’s old post. The night was long with parties and other celebrations, none of which allowed me to rest well. 

Day 5458 of the Journey

“Dad, can’t we stay for another day?” Ashae yawned as I prepared for today’s journey. The sun had yet to even rise as we finished saddling up our horses. I couldn’t face leaving again, but it was out of necessity, unlike before. I watched Ashae look back onto her grandparent’s home, the fresh braids in her hair as she turned back to the path ahead.

“We’ll be back in a month, kiddo. Hell, we can celebrate your birthday in the tavern.” I laughed as we continued. In two weeks time, we’d be in the next village getting supplies, and she would become obsessed with that town as well. 

“Think of it as house hunting, hmm, I mean, who else travels like this?” I tried to persuade her as we continued through the woods. Her silence was unnerving, she was always a chatty child, but the farther we went, it turned to complaints.

“Are you sure mom even wants to meet me?” Her voice was sudden as we crossed a stream.  

“Of course she does; she’ll love you, hun.” Another lie, how many did this one make? I looked back at her face, full of distrust. I had to try to convince her. "Sweetheart, you can’t raise a kid in the temple; it’s so dangerous.”  The next hours were filled with bickering, and trying to remind her of why we were doing this

No one could reason with how she was for the next few days; if we lived a normal life, she’d be hiding in her room. Instead, she refused to speak to me, and I wondered which would be worse.  The days would drag due to this, and to cope, I’d talk to the horses. Despite her efforts, I at least got a smile from that.

Day 5472 of the Journey

 It was almost two weeks until her next words. Silent treatment is rough. 

“Is that a lake?” Her voice was filled with energy, it was rare that our routes we’d take would drive us this close to water. Often, because of flooding, we’d be miles from any water, a nice surprise for the sweltering day.

Tacking horses was the easy part of setting up camp; making sure that neither of us got snagged on the fishing line we set up was the difficult part. I saw the little girl my child used to be—her smile with crooked teeth and a wrinkled nose. I missed that curly hair and how happy her emerald green eyes were. This was one thing that never left after all those years—that smile. She lay on the lake shore, identical to her mother. The sunset on the lake was like a sight from my youth. Ashae brought in the fish we caught and the mussels that lay by the shore. She laughed as we talked about the good ‘ol days from before this journey. The days of camping by the creek, hiding away in old cabins, and such—as a father, I wish the life I gave her was better. We sat watching the moon rise across the ridge, and sleep soon took hold.

Day 5475 of the Journey

The morning dew had soaked through my socks, a normal nuisance. Ashae was still asleep late into the day, as the morning sun had yet to cause discomfort. Her hair was still in the braids I gave her last night, but this morning it looked more blue. I shook my head; it was more likely the lighting than anything fantastical. This world was anything but fantastical; while many types of people walked this land—elven folk was her favorite—something about how they behaved with magic. This was beyond my forte; I was a soldier by blood; I just needed to get to the temple and keep her safe. This was everything to me— correction she is everything. 

“Mornin pop’s” She yawned out, she rummaged through our packs for breakfast. She always looks so tired in the morning

“Mornin Chickadee, plan to head out in ‘10.” I told her, "We are less than a day away. Just a few more miles and you’ll see your mom.”

The morning was quick, and we knew that it was almost over. The rush of what we were to accomplish in our 10 years on the move. The excitement took hold as we reached town. 

“How ‘bout an early gift, hmm.” I yelled back as we reached the town’s gate. Her face filled with joy at the thought of no longer wearing my hand-me-downs. 

The stores were the highlight of the day as by dusk she glowed in the elaborate fabrics of her outfit. We ate at the town’s inn for dinner and stayed for the night. I decided to tell Ashae more about the war and my part in it. She deserves to know.

Day 5478 of the Journey

The best rest we’ve received for awhile, and despite the lack of stars, a hot breakfast was a nice change. Ashae changed from her normal attire into her new outfit as within the next hour we will be reaching the Temple of Saffronia. To say I’m nervous is an understatement as truly meeting with the overseer of conquest is no small thing, but despite that a girl needs a mother… even if she is an ancient goddess.

 The path has been serene today, low with humidity and without clouds. If all goes well we’d be a happy family, and She will never have to worry about anything ag— 

A sudden thump and a horse snorts as its rider falls off. A young woman follows as she hurriedly tries to stop his bleeding. A man in blue robes tries to pull her off of the injured rider, his hand burned by an unknown flame and soon overcome by it. 

 A scream, and after a few minutes she grabs the reins of both the horses and sets the fallen rider upon his own steed.  She returns her path towards the temple. 

Day 5479 of my living hell

They need to build better temples, this one burned too easily. The goddess of conquest and her religious freaks had another thing coming. Outside of that, I have to take care of two horses and figure out how one buries the only family they’ve known. I look insane in these clothes, and I plan on using whatever I stole from that glorified pyre of smoke to buy him good clothes for when he goes into the dirt.

I wanna go home… The quiet has been horrible. I went to the woods outside of town with the horses, but I swear I can still hear him calling my name. 

Day 5490 of being alone

Dad’s buried at the lake, today is the first day of being alone now… officially. Word has gotten out about the temple, luckily the current assumption is that it was a cult. I think I’m gonna go back to dad’s old town and live with my grandparents. Cordell has been down of course, but Mud’s trying to help. I’ve been wearing dad’s clothes to help.

I tried making his fried trout, instead I had burnt trout for dinner. He probably would’ve had an old story from when he was a cadet to tell me because of this. 

Day 5494 of being alone

I keep hearing voices at night, I think it’s paranoia but I’m cutting my hair to make sure I pass more masculine before I decide to leave the lake. I haven’t decided to leave yet, it still feels too sudden. I can’t seem to figure out what killed him, right now the assumption is a poisoned dart.

It had to have been poison or magic, maybe even both but whatever it is can’t be of any use to me if I can't sleep. 

Day 5496 of running from nothing

The woman’s voice is still strong and I swore I saw someone last night. I have cut my hair, it’s gross and short, but I will make do. Last night I ate off of leftovers before he passed. I wish I could have gotten the recipes. 

I made it to town at around noon, I saw more blue robes like the charred one who killed him. I’m keeping my head low, I’m staying at the tavern tonight. If I don’t sleep inside tonight I’m gonna go mad.

Day 5497 of running from nothing

Last night I think I saw the woman. She was sitting on the foot of my bed, she looked so cruel. I just laid there, pretending to remain asleep, I think it’s a ghost or something to tell me to leave. Though templemen are now doing patrols, I’ve decided to stay at this tavern for some security. 

Dad had told me about how he used to live in taverns and all he’d do instead of pay is be a guard. Those stories would end with him getting caught drinking and being thrown out or a rowdy fight due to a girl. I’d kill for one of those over dramatic tales right now. 

Day 5499 of being alone

Another spotting of her tonight. She was in the treeline, I’m almost certain I saw her. I may be going insane truly. Just a bit longer before I return to the fish smelling town, there I'll have a normal life and after a few years everything will be fine.

Day 5505 of journey to nowhere

I made it to old Kilshire, I was afraid to see it in ruins. It was worse, many homes abandoned, the market was gone and charred and runes of that damned goddess carved into the remains of homes. I took the horses to my fathers childhood home. It was gone, nothing remaining but a seared line in the dirt on where it stood. 

 My grandparents are nowhere to be seen, most likely with everyone else. I’m staying in what remains of their tavern and debating on what to do . Everything I could have had is gone, everything I knew was gone. I never had a home until this and even now as I sit with the only smell in the air is soot and sulfur. 

 These journal entries to keep me sane were for nothing, and yet I can’t help but to write. My only comfort is the woman standing across this river staring at me as she calls my name once more. I don’t wanna be alone anymore, she sings promises of a home and I just want to trust her.

The river divided Ashae’s worlds. Her appearance was that of a soldier drunk on rage as she swore at the ethereal woman from across the riverbed. Despite all that screamed in her to run and to fight, she collapsed into the ash and dirt. The woman glided to her, and the evening sun shined like gold upon her skin and into her garnet eyes as she held her daughter's face. A cruel smile upon her lips formed as Ashae accepted the embrace. This was the only family she could have, one that could never die. The goddess knew that, as she took her hand, allowing Ashae to stand once more. She had created the perfect soldier, one devoid of almost all comforts of humanity. A soldier so willing for praise, and one that can still be trained as the goddess stared down at her daughter's tear stained face and stroked her hair. Sure raising a child herself would have been easier, but the joy of watching it all unfold was better. Now to train her abilities, that would be the fun part