#coming out??

[tisthegender]

Hey all!! Sorry for disappearing there for a WHILE. I've been doing great, I just didn't want to be on social media as much. And I was fairly certain that this entire blog and that year and a half or two years of gender questioning was just OCD (which I still think was a big part of it, but regardless...), so I've just been content with cis for a while, and therefore felt like this blog was a complete lie (hence why some posts were deleted, oops).

HOWEVER I've recently looked more into the bigender identity and came to the lovely realization that I never have to give up being a woman to also be a guy. It's more static than genderfluid, but I still feel like some part of the non-woman aspect of it is a little fluid, or at least less rigid.

I think there was a little internalized phobia of some sort, or maybe guilt about trying to claim a label without having like severe dysphoria or simply by virtue of the fact that I can still comfortably live as my assigned gender, that was locking away the notion that I CAN BE BOTH. But the sheer fucking euphoria I felt after realizing that both was an option was enough to give me internal permission to have this new understanding of myself.

I'm not quite sure how to end this post, but my pronouns are still she/him <3

[canon-divergence]

i think im pan,,,,

[crescent-lunatic-wolf]

I don’t know what to call myself in relation to this otherkin/therian/alterhuman stuff. It’s still kinda new and scary TERRIFYING TBH. Half the reason I created this blog was to sort this out, though, so dammit if I’m not gonna try.

Once upon a time, I was a dumb kid with an extremely overactive animation. And I mean extreme. I had an imaginary friend that I could not get to ‘go away’ until i basically had an existential crisis and screamed at him.

Sorry, old buddy, but I was starting real school and I needed to at least look normal. Im sure you understand.

This was just the first of many incidents where I felt obligated to cynically crush my more outlandish thoughts into a ball and stuff them away in a corner forever.

Then later I figured out that I’m trans. A lot of things started to make much more sense after that: why I hated puberty so much, why I felt too ‘soft at heart’ compared to other ‘boys’, why I oh-so-despised how I looked…

That was over 8 years ago.

Now, much more recently, as in within the week at time of typing this, a bunch of old thought patterns kinda cropped up at once. I am certain that this had something to do with the recent super moon, though. I don’t know if it was something I subconsciously did to myself, or if talking about werewolves just unlocked the forbidden corners of my brain or what, but the thoughts are back and hoo boy.

When I was a younger, edgier, egg-ier teen, I loved werewolves, conceptually. The very concept of wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing except its more wolf-in-human-skin was, in a word, rad. I knew it was a mythological, fantastical concept (logically speaking, I still do), but oh my god how cool would it be to be that kinda monster?! I didn’t care how alienated it’d make me (though to be fair I was already kind of a weirdo outcast). Raw meat, hunting animals or even people by the full moon? Cathartic af. That sheer power, to be able to assume the form of a terror of nature, to be one with and at home with the moonlit wood… I would kill* for that level of freedom and… and…

*PAST tense, I’m not exactly a serial killer in the making here

What is that other feeling though? It was good, I know. Almost addictive. Satisfaction? Desire of some sort?

Whatever it was, it felt right. …and that’s exactly why I had to suppress it. I was only setting myself up for heartbreak by pouring my soul into this idea of being/becoming something that, by all means, doesn’t exist.

Once upon a time, I thought I’d never be a woman, either.

So fuck that noise. This werewolf-at-heart is back. I don’t care if its an unrealistic dream/goal/whatever-the-fuck, it makes me happy, dammit! Like on some kinda spiritual level or something.

So yeah. I think that makes me alterhuman, otherkin, and/or therian? I’m not 100% on the distinctions, but I want to find out. I can at least comfort in the knowledge that, clearly, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Hopefully at least some o’ y’all can accept me into the fold.

- C

[thatgaygremlinoverthere]

i guess?

so, ive been thinking alot. about my gender. and im not so sure, i dont.. feel like any? but.. all at the same time? so i experimented and i kinda liked every? i dunno, i guess this is me coming out as Genderfliud? i mean it just feels.... right.

[transbutnotalone]

On edge

Just thinkin’ about what happened a few days ago

I was helping my mom with the trash and I was like ‘eugh, it kinda smells’ because, you know, rotten food from when we were on vacation and stuff.

her response? ‘Oh so you *are* a girl, huh? Cause it’s kinda girly to act that way about smelly stuff’

Mom, I love you, but what? First of all you… you don’t *know* I’m trans. Or else you’d have said something. And second, I’m allowed to think something smells bad.

Ah, I hate gender roles. All it does is make me jealous of guys and ashamed of myself.

But, putting that aside, sorry I forgot to say happy new year. You survived the last one, let’s survive this one together, huh? We clearly all need each other :/

[hauntedhotel]

Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?

Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.

Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?

Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.

[rei-does-stuff]

The Glassworker - Mano Animation Studios

Directed by - Usman Riaz

Pakistan’s First Ever 2D Hand Drawn Animated Film

Currently in Pakistani Theaters as of July 26 International release is coming soon <3

English Trailer || Urdu Trailer

[emjaydoubleyou]

this post is fearmongering. the results of this study are concerning and should definitely be a matter of public discussion, but this is certainly not the conclusion the researchers came to.

the point of the study was to assess the risks of exposure to toxic metals- something one of the co-authors notes are “ubiquitous” fwiw- via menstrual products. Their research confirmed that these metals are indeed present in tampons, but no further conclusions are drawn. it is possible the metal entered into the cotton from the soil, which is a well-known phenomenon; cotton is so good at lifting heavy metals that it has actually been suggested as a part of the solution for revitalizing polluted ground.

the authors conclude with an acknowledgement that the study should be repeated- their sample size was 60 tampons- and a suggestion that further testing ought to be done to indicate whether or not these metals can even leech out of the tampon in the first place, let alone whether or not such leeching could occur at levels deleterious to human health.

there is, in fact, a body of research- too small, for sure, but much larger than this single study- indicating that long-term proper tampon use has no observable negative impact on health. i am grateful and thrilled that more research is being done and i hope that this study is the first of many on this line of questioning, but i am really frustrated at this post and the response it got.

obviously, if this study alters your approach to menstrual health, more power to you. consumers should be informed-risk-takers, and menstrual health is double-obviously a very personal choice. but it definitely wasn't the researchers concluding that you ought to “avoid using tampons at all cost," only this tumblr user did. the lead author of the paper, in fact, specifically says that she hopes people do NOT panic about the results.

(the notes of the post were disappointing. people affirming that they knew they were right to be suspicious of tampons all along, or even recommending alternatives that actually have very little to no research regarding the safety of long-term use, etc. it’s a different conversation, but categorical distrust of tampons is old-school misogyny. you certainly shouldn't wear them if you don’t want to, but there is nothing inherently scary or wrong about them, and people who prefer them are not being reckless or crass.)

((if you're really worried about exposure to heavy metals, you may want to turn a critical eye to fast fashion, as an aside))

[the-nefarious-vampire]

as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.

[adaarsvitaar]

reminder to myself and whoever else needs it to stop feeding the machine. I'm aware I'm yelling into the void but look at the past couple years of games. They're pushing $70, $80, $100!!! for games that are completely unfinished, unpolished, and sometimes completely unplayable. Yes the game showcases were cool. The doom game looks sick and I don't even go there, but they're shaking the shiny keys to distract you and get you swept up in the hype. They're going to push so much fomo marketing to get you to jump for it full price.

Wait for sales. Wait and buy a used copy. Hell, wait a couple days (even hours!!!) after launch and reviews and breakdowns will start coming out. Our game backlogs are already packed, and mr big AAA studio can deal with some of us waiting to see if they actually delivered what was promised.

[morganbritton132]

No one tells you when you get a Big Serious Job™ how many fucking abbreviations you’ll be forced to learn.

[blackwoolncrown]

I get it, I really do, but I feel like ppl w decision paralysis related to Gazans are also suffering from a kind of non-malignant egotism

"who do I decide to give it to? everyone needs help! I can't help them all!"

You're not the only person they're asking!!!!!

If you choose one person to help that day, a bunch of other ppl choose others

stopping to overthink your inflated importance as an individual versus one in many is what's giving you paralysis

the more you burden yourself as an incapable hero the less you all act as a group-- which is the exact answer you're looking for

fkn close your eyes, scroll on OOB and donate to whoever you click on first

you're not god, it's not your job to save everyone

JUST DO SOMETHING

[thatrandomblogsays]

I’m so happy for them

[Image Description: Castiel from Supernatural is saying I love you, underneath is an image of Dean Winchester with the caption: “After four months of striking the WGA has a reached a tentative agreement & finalizing the contract. If all goes well writers will get to return to work with better pay and protections. They did it. Go unions”]

(Source)

[eldritch-elrics]

obsessed with the april fools day joke from the another crab's treasure devs

[kadzhi]

remembering the really fucked up cake i made 7 years ago today

[indigonite]

There’s a lot you can learn about it, trust me