#compared to the (still very shitty) job i had before i quit

[itsmesheep]

uh oh sisters i'm actively self-sabotaging

[total-dxmure]

✦ MARLEY AND ME →【ELLIE WILLIAMS】→ CHAPTER FOUR

pairing: modern!ellie williams x single mom!reader

summary: you’re a single mom just doing the best that she can to make ends meet. ellie can’t help but think that you're the kindest, most beautiful girl that she’s ever met. compared to taking care a little girl that's in her terrible twos, coming to terms with the fact that you’re a lesbian is a walk in the park. awkward first encounters, ellie’s broken gay-dar, and her overwhelming urge to take care of the care-giver. . . the road to domesticity is a long one, but it’s well worth the pining that it takes to get there.

warnings: eventual substance use, no use of y/n (you have nicknames/petnames), the reader is marley’s biological mother, talk of coming to terms with ones sexuality, mention of a shitty baby daddy ( though there is no co-parenting between them), ellie is a total girl mom, lots and lots of fluff, ellie is an anxious dork in this fic, reader is broke but happy, ellie takes pride in being a provider, this is going to be a multi-part fic, ellie is an absolute simp for the reader since chapter one and will remain her #1 fan.

The knock on the door is to the tune “Head Over Heels”- or at least you think it is. Ellie doesn’t have enough time to fully get through the chorus before you’re yanking it open, cheeks flushed all pretty and eyes wide. They glitter in the dim sunlight like jewels, staring up at her like she was the one that hung the moon. Ellie’s got that same dumb look on her face; mossy eyes wrinkled at the corners from the force of her smile. You would never know that she’s been up since seven o’clock in the morning, cramming for an exam that she had aced. She’d talked to Joel for the fifteen minutes that it took to get to your house, bragging on and on about how much easier it had been than she’d initially thought that it would be.

He let her brag. Of course he did. She wasn’t quite as talkative as she had been when she was a teenager, but she was still famous for her little tangents. Joel was good at listening, and Ellie? Well, she was a professional yapper. It was a match made in heaven.

Ellie smells like lavender, musk and patchouli incense. The scent of it clings to her hair and clothes. She’d mentioned a couple of times that she was a daily smoker, but she made sure to go out of her way to never smell when she was over at your place. The thought of your daughter cuddling to her when she smelled. . . funky made her cringe.

There’s a moment of appreciative silence as she stands on your front porch. The two of you just stare at each other, breathing the scent of each other in. The novelty still isn’t lost as far as your courting goes either. You can’t imagine the nervous butterflies ever going away. They’ve made a cage out of your ribs, fluttering away madly in your chest.

“Hey,” She breathes through her smile, her eyes dancing over your features. “Did I miss anything exciting?”

You look absolutely exhausted. Gorgeous, but exhausted nonetheless. Ellie has noticed that you do a very good job at putting others' needs before your own. You’d been at work for two whole hours before Ellie had even woken up this morning, and now you felt like you were on autopilot. You’d walked to your mom’s to pick Marley up, gotten her bathed and dressed in little play overalls and now the two of you were spending some quality time together. You could barely keep your eyes open, and yet you knew that you wouldn’t be able to get your screaming toddler to sleep for at least another three hours.

“Marles and I are making homemade play-doh right now,” You opened the door wider, tempting her into the house with a sweet smile. Who was Ellie to deny you of all people? “She’s been excited ever since I told her that you were coming over.”

Marley had taken to Ellie like a bee to honey.

The college student hadn’t had too many opportunities to be around children- especially ones as young as Marley was. She was unfamiliar with the tiny sticky hands, drooly mouths and unpredictable attitudes. Still, she was a natural. Marley gravitated towards her. Ellie was sure that the constant presents and sweet treats buttered her up, but she would be selling herself short if she claimed that those were the only reason that your daughter loved her so much.

Your three year old babbled from the kitchen, excitedly trying to piece together a sentence. Ellie closed the door behind herself, only to sweep you up into a bone crushing hug. Your laugh was muffled by the fabric of her soft cotton button up as you nuzzled your face into her neck. Closer, closer, closer. If she could absorb you into her body she would. It was hard to describe the level of admiration she felt for you. It was too early to classify it as “love”, but she supposed she did love you and Marley. Being in your house, as small as it was, felt right to her.

“I missed you.” You mumbled, arms fastened tight around her waist.

She barely had enough time to brush a gentle peck to your lips before Marley was bounding around the corner, bare feet slapping against the linoleum floors. You’d recently learned that wearing socks wasn’t a good idea. Your poor little girl had slipped and fallen far too many times for your liking.

Marley had become more comfortable in her body, which meant she was now running, jumping and climbing. Just a year ago you had been relieved that she could walk by herself without you holding her hand, and now keeping her off of your furniture was an impossible task. Nothing had prepared you for the constant changes that came with motherhood. You blinked and suddenly she was sassy and genuinely funny. She complimented you when you were wearing something unusually flashy and wanted you to put blush on her while you were getting the both of you ready so that she could “look like mommy”.

You never expected anyone outside of your family and close friends to appreciate your daughter in the same way that you did.

But then there was Ellie.

Self indulgent. Waking up this happy felt sinful.

Your fingers gently glide over her gentle planes and curves, making a map in your mind of every inch of her. Each freckles a continent, each line a river.

You didn’t want to wake Ellie, too frightened that you might break whatever magic spell was currently suspended in the air between the two of you. This moment between you felt too good to be true, and that scarred little voice inside of you that you loathed so much was begging you to enjoy this while it lasted.

You were always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Happiness was fleeting. You felt like you didn’t deserve whatever was going on between the two of you. Your entire identity for the last three years has been summed up in a singular label: “ a mother”. You were a sexless, wantless, selfless creature meant only to teach and please. How dare you need a night off. How dare you choose yourself over an abusive relationship. How dare you need, want, desire, change.

But this? This was nice.

No, it was better than nice. Great? No. . . It was perfect. She was perfect. And that terrified you. Ellie scared the absolute shit out of you, and yet you couldn’t take a step back. It was like you were falling head first for a very, very long time. The ground is nowhere in sight.

You were free falling and you had no clue where you would end up when all was said and done. It felt selfish to put so much effort and care into so many new things at once. Especially since those new things could shatter your heart into a million pieces at any second. You knew that Ellie didn’t owe you anything. She was nice enough to give you a chance despite all of your faults. Your baggage had become too heavy for you to hold at times, so how could you ever expect someone else to help pick up the slack?

You weren’t even sure what the two of you were doing together. The two of you hadn’t put a label on your relationship, but she’d brought you flowers yesterday when she popped by for a movie night. She’d even gotten a small bouquet for Marley, who was far too small to appreciate them for longer than five minutes.

Ellie wasn’t your girlfriend, but she’d slipped Marley’s shoes on for her before you’d all left the house last night to pick up dinner. Ellie wasn’t your girlfriend, but she’d spent the night with you last night in your bed. Ellie wasn’t your girlfriend, but she’d held you all throughout the night.

She didn’t even try to get handsy at all last night, probably having seen the exhaustion written all over your face. She kissed you because she wanted to show you affection. She held you because she wanted to be close.

What you didn’t know was that Ellie felt the same way that you did. She was lost as to when to ask the dreaded “what are we?” question. The thought of pushing you away or losing you was agonizing, so instead she had deluded herself into thinking that she didn’t have to define things. It was clear that she liked you, right?

She’d never felt this way about anybody before. This wasn’t like any other crushes she’d had in the past. She felt fresh and new. Ellie even felt like she looked a bit different when she looked in a mirror. There was a glow to her; a sense of happiness that wasn’t just rare for her but something that she had once deemed an impossibility. She felt changed for the better.

It was easy to love Marley. It had happened naturally- like breathing. You don’t have to remember how to breathe. . . it just happens. With you it was different. Obsessive, maddening, all inhabiting affection. You’d wrapped your dainty hands around her heart tight, tight, tight. Every skip and butterfly is a gentle reminder that this was something. The both of you are something, and that is enough.

She smiles before she even has her eyes open. She can feel your fingers on her bare arms, and for a second she ponders whether or not she’s in heaven. . . or perhaps still dreaming. Waking up in your bed, the scent of your shampoo on all of the pillows and your soft hands on her- she could die right there, your room, her tomb. The headboard, her headstone.

“Are you real?” She whispers, her voice hoarse and still thick with sleep. She’s looking at you with those great, big green eyes. Your eyes are glued to the small collection of freckles just above her top lip, but you hear her.

“M’ real.” You mumble out a confirmation, propping your head up on your hand so that you can lean over her. You know your hair is a mess. . . but she’s studying your face with a silent sort of appreciation that has your throat feeling thick with emotion.

She’s soft. Ellie’s soft and wants to take care of you. She showers you and your daughter with affection without ever having to be asked to. Why? Because she wants to do it. You find it hard to believe that anyone would want to go out of their way like this. Especially for someone like you. You were a young mother who hadn’t gone to college. You lived in a tiny house, operated paycheck to paycheck, and had a few stretch marks on your tummy. You weren’t perfect. Not like Ellie deserved.

So why was she looking at you like that?

Oh god, how she stared at you. Her eyes were velvet soft as her eyes flickered over your face, taking in every feature. She’d never woken up next to you before. Your bedhead and glassy eyes had her heart blooming with warmth. The ceiling fan had a few strands of your hair falling into your eyes. She took the opportunity to tuck them behind your ear, feeling the softness of your skin. She committed that to memory too.

“I really like this.” Ellie finally admits, bottom jaw quivering a bit. She fiddles with her fingers under your comforter, a nervous habit.

“What?” You ask her incredulously. If Ellie’s eyes weren’t open she’d still know you were smiling. She could hear it in the way you spoke, and it had her seeing stars. And Ellie really, really loved stars. “Looking at my bedhead? You better not take any pictures.” You were already smoothing your hair down with your hands, brushing through a few tangles.

She caught your arms, shaking her head the best she could with it still resting on your pillows. “Waking up next to you. Being here with you two- this is really nice.” It was more than nice, but she didn’t want to scare you away by coming on too strongly.

You opened your mouth, getting ready to agree with her, but the familiar sound of tiny feet had you sitting up fully so that you could turn and face the doorway. You shot Ellie an apologetic smile, but she merely shook her head, sitting up as well with a small smile. She didn’t seem burdened by the existence of your daughter, which was something you weren’t used to.

Marley’s hair was an absolute disaster, per usual. It looked like she’d been caught headfirst in a tornado,wispy hairs bobbing as she shuffled closer to the bed in her footie pajamas. She had insisted on wearing them last night despite the fact that it wasn’t exactly cold enough for them. Her cheeks were pink and it was obvious that she had sweat in her sleep last night. You felt a tinge of guilt for letting her get her way, praying that Ellie didn’t think you were a bad mother for giving in so easily to her sweet demands. Sometimes it was impossible to say no to her.

She stood at the side of the bed for a few seconds, eyes still half lidded and dazed with sleep. For a second she just stared at you and Ellie, as if trying to connect the dots that someone else was in your house. It was incredibly unusual to have guests over at the house. . . well, that was before Ellie. Marley climbed up onto the bed, pushing away your eager hands when you tried to reach out for her.

Your little girl was headed straight for Ellie. You bit the inside of your cheek, feigning a look of jealousy when Marley wrapped her tiny arms around the other woman’s neck. Ellie’s eyes widened as she held the small girl to her chest, cheeks growing warm when she realized just how much your daughter liked her. She wanted to blame the constant presents and sweet treats, but that wasn’t the case. Marley loved Ellie because she was patient with her. She took the time to sit down with her, ask her questions- hell, Ellie even played with her, which your own mother often wasn’t in the mood to do.

“I can’t believe you, Marles.” You gasped out, nose wrinkling in faux dismay. You rubbed her arm up and down, trying to gently get her attention. Marley looked up at you through her long lashes, plopping her head down on Ellie’s shoulder in a very dramatic, very Marley fashion.

“She chose me fair and square.” Ellie boasted, using her hand to try and smooth down her crazy bedhead.

You took a mental picture, eyes pinching at the corners with the force of your smile. Marley had curled herself up into a ball and didn’t seem prepared to budge any time soon. Ellie didn’t even attempt to hand her off to you. Instead the woman stood up with a small groan, her black sweatpants hanging low on her waist. You tried not to stare at the exposed flesh of her stomach as her tank top rode up but failed miserably. The brunette turned her head to face you, having felt the heat of your gaze, and the both of you exchanged a knowing smile.

“She has her legs pulled up to her chest,” Ellie said with a chuckle, her arms secured tightly around your child. “You’re like a little potato.” She pressed a quick kiss to Marley’s hair when the tiny girl started giggling at the comparison.

“M’ not!” Marley squealed, sticky hands tanging into Ellie’s cropped hair. You watched as she gave her hair a tug, your stomach tensing in panic.

You started to stand up, ready to scold your daughter for her rough treatment, but Ellie was already walking down the hall. You sat in disbelief for a second, questioning whether or not you should go in and check on the two of them. You so rarely had time to yourself like this. It felt wrong to take advantage of this opportunity, but you had a feeling that Ellie had done this on purpose.

Was she trying to drop hints that you looked bad? You were absolutely exhausted last night, so you wouldn’t be surprised if your face was a mess and your clothes in disarray. You anxiously raked through your hair, kicking the tangled sheets off of your legs so that you could run to the nearest mirror.

“Are pancakes for breakfast alright?” Ellie had ducked her head back into the bedroom, a beaming Marley still propped up on her hip. You jumped at the sudden voice, glaring in her direction as she chuckled at your expense.

You weren’t used to being so hard on yourself as far as your appearance goes. Impressing people, these days, was the last thing on your mind. Ellie felt the same way though. She’d be a liar if she said that she hadn��t checked herself out in the mirror you had in the living room, anxious that she looked like hammered dog shit after drooling all over your pillow.

The weight of your head on her chest had her sleeping like a damn baby last night. Marley had acted as a wonderful distraction from her own embarrassment, especially when she realized the back of her hair was practically sticking straight up.

What you didn’t know was that she’d never spent the night with a girl. Not romantically, at least. The both of you were in the exact same anxious boat, and while Ellie knew that she was your first, you had no inkling that you were a lot of her firsts as well.

“Pancakes?” You parroted back to her, wetting your dry lips.

You began tallying up totals in your head, trying to figure out whether or not you had the cash to grab breakfast. You would like to treat Ellie and Marley. . . but after paying the water and the power bill two days ago, you barely had enough to put gas in your car. You felt your cheeks heating up as you tried to come up with a nice way to say “I don’t have the money for pancakes” without sounding like a shitty adult and an even shittier mother.

Ellie could see the way you were over thinking things, her eyes nervously flickering to your closet. You only had a few articles of clothing for yourself, and yet she’d never seen Marley wear the same outfit twice. She’d seen you with your calculator at the grocery store, nervously staring at a total. She knew that you weren’t financially secure- you were a young single mother. The brunette smiled at you, shoving her hands in her pockets as she leaned against the doorframe.

“I make really good pancakes, and it looks like you have everything I need. Marley would be an amazing help too. She’d make my job a lot easier.” She rocked back on the heels of her gray socks, biting the inside of her cheek as she looked at you.

You looked nervous, tired, and adorable as hell. Your band t-shirt was rumpled with sleep and you were standing in tiny white socks, all self conscious and overly critical. She wanted to kiss you… but she hadn’t brushed her teeth.

“Let me go ahead and take her to the bathroom first,” You ran through your daily checklist in your mind, though not forgetting to flash her a thankful smile that nearly had the girl’s legs buckling. “Oh! Uh. . . I have an extra toothbrush. You can have it. Do you want to use the restroom first? It’ll give me some time to get her outfit together for the day.”

Ellie wanted to be selfless and tell you that she didn’t want to go first, but her breath was probably stale and the last thing she wanted was for you to be grossed out by her. She couldn’t fuck this up. She refused to.

You found Marley in her bedroom, having already strewn toys around the room. You let out a small huff of breath, realizing that today was probably going to be a rough one. Each day was different with your little girl. One day she was a perfect angel, only doing what she was told. Other days. . . well, rambunctious didn’t fully encompass her level of energy. Today was going to be one of those days.

“Alrighty, Marles! Let’s pick out a pretty outfit, alright?” You started to walk to her closet, but froze as she began shaking her head. “You don’t want to put on a dress? Or what about some overalls so you can play better?”

“No!” She screamed, running to the other side of her room so that she could grab a few more stuffed animals off of her bed. She tossed those on the ground too, even going as far as to plop down on the floor.

You had hoped that Ellie wouldn’t see this. At least. . . not so soon into the relationship. If she couldn’t accept Marley on bad days like this then you knew she wasn’t the right person for you, but still- you had hoped to slowly introduce this lifestyle to her. Not flat out throw her to the metaphorical wolves. Or. . . to Marley. You felt your bottom lip quiver, but you caught it between your teeth, giving it a few nervous chews before you sat down next to her.

“Do you want to stay in your pajamas?” Your tone was nothing but loving and patient. You were used to this, but Ellie wasn’t. You could only pray that she could accept you. All of you.

“Yes! Please, mommy.” She was getting better at articulating her thoughts and feelings. You found it impossible to deny her when she spoke to you like this. Especially when she asked politely.

So you found herself nodding, flashing her a megawatt smile that she happily returned. You could make a special day out of this. Pancakes and pajamas? It sounded heavenly.

“You’re so polite, baby girl! Alright, we’ll stay in our pajamas today. How about that? And Ellie said that you’re going to help her make breakfast. Are you going to be a big help?”

“Yeah.” She replied, already focused on the baby doll in front of her.

Her hands were still stained a little pink from making the play-doh last night. Once she remembers that she has that to play with too, you can only imagine the mess she’ll make on your dining room table.

You’re beautiful and patient. Ellie watches the two of you interact from the hallway, her breath all minty and her smile all wide. She thinks that she can live like this forever.

And she prays that she gets to.

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[itsohh]

Second Attempt

A/N: Female reader, ah my beloved.

Summary:  Simon finally finds that perfect chance to ask that big question again, this time on his own terms. Despite Gaz and Soap's attempts to try 'help'.

Word count:  2395  

Warnings: none

AO3 Masterlist Series Masterlist

"Still thinking about how you're going to ask her?" Ghost eyes flashed to Soap's grin as the pair of them leaned on the side wall. Their eyes were on you, bent over the pool table in front of them while Gaz stood next to you partially leaning on his cue. The dim lights above you shadowed your face perfectly, putting that determined expression on display.

"Keen eye as ever Soap." There was a clink as you hit the white ball, forcing it to sink a ball in much to your deadlight. Simon's eyes were focused on the way your lips curled and your eyes scrunched up in glee. Next to you, Gaz patted your shoulder, a compliment on his lips. Your eyes flashed towards Simon's way, giving the man a wink before you strut over to him, confidence oozing off you.

"You two got to up pick up your game." You hit the side of Soap's shoulder and the telltale sound of the pool balls colliding clinked behind you.

"I think we are fine if you teamed up with Gaz." Simon nodded towards the tables. Whipping around you saw the half-shrug Gaz did.

"Hard luck Kyle, head up dude. Want another drink?" Gaz shook his head and you turned to Soap and Ghost. "Drinks?"

"Yeah, I'll have another one thanks."

"Gin?" Your laugh was almost contagious as you walked backward, amused at Soap's disturbed face. "LT?" Ghost lift the half-full drink next to him in silent communication. You nodded and turned away, disappearing towards the bar.

"So, what are you going to do? Exspensive restaurant? Concert? Or just going to settle for your deathbed again? Next time you're getting Gaz to do it."

"Don't quit your day job to become a comedian." Ghost let out a small sound under his throat.

"Rough crowd." Johnny took a few steps towards the pool table, drapping his body over it as he lined up his cue. Eye focused on the balls there was a solid clink as the cue hit the white ball, sending it into the two balls. He swore under his breath as the ball tethered on the very edge but didn't sink into the side.

"If you wait too long she might think you don't want to marry her." He picked himself off the table and turned to face the man. Ghost's brows narrowed at the man. "If you want help I'm happy to wingman for you. I'm sure Gaz and Price will too if need be." John spun around the Gaz who had been patiently waiting for your return. "Isn't that right Gaz?"

Gaz's head snapped up at the sound of his name and his eyes darted between the two men. "What am I about to agree to?"

"Helping LT here with proposing." Gaz's brows shot up in surprise but didn't miss a beat.

"I'd be happy to help."

"There's nothing to help with. The offer is appreciated Gaz…" Ghost's jaw locked as he spoke, a look at Kyle before his eyes snapped to John's. "...John. I have things under control." His voice was more pictures after he said John's name. A threat behind his voice as he dared Soap to continue. Yet his threats did little, the Sergeant was rather used to his antics.

"Hey, no worries. Think we are waiting to see you put a ring on her. She is too, you know."

"Soaps right." Kyle piped up, leaning on the table. "She's always stealing looks at you."

"More than usual." Soap partnered up with Gaz in the conversation.

"She's not subtle. I already know." Ghost's eyes snapped to the two men and they glanced at each other. "Right if the two of you would leave it alone she's almost back." He leaned forward and the two men locked their lips shut.

Just as Ghost said, a moment later you appeared from the crowd, drinks in hand. "One good drink for me…" You twirled the straw inside your drink taking a sip from it before you placed it next to Ghosts.

"And one shitty drink for Soap." You handed the other glass to him, to his offence.

"Shitt drink? Compared to what you're drinking?! What's that? A tequila sunrise?"

"I like my drinks drinkable John."

"I don't believe you-"

"You don't even know what I'm drinking how you even-"

"I can just tell by the look-" Your bickering was interrupted by Ghost who picked up your drink and started to drink from the straw. The pair of you both went silent and watch him, shocked.

Seconds ticked by and he put the drink back down. You leaned in, not only you and Soap but Gaz too.

"Tastes fine."

"In your stupid face." You immediately jabbed a finger into John's chest and he snatched the drink from the table. Before you could protest he brought the straw to his lips and started to suck. Almost immediately he put it down and darted his eyes between the two of you.

"This is just orange and pomegranate juice." He accused.

"Yeah so? It tastes good." You snatched the drink from his hands and started to put the straw to your mouth when you saw Gaz's eyes on the drink. A sigh left your mouth and you held it out to him. "Would you like to try Gaz-" Before you could finish saying his name he took hold of it and quickly sipped on the drink.

"That's pretty refreshing actually."

-

"See you, boys, tomorrow, try not to stay up too late." You waved with a smile at Gaz and Soap who split from you and Ghost.

"Yes, mum." John winked with a mock salute and you rolled your eyes at him.

"Gnight Doc, Ghost." Gaz waved goodbye and soon it was just the pair of you. The pair of you started to walk together, the bright night sky guiding your way.

A shiver ran over your bare shoulders and you fought back the urge to shake. Your movements didn't go unnoticed though, silently Ghost removed his hoodie and wrapped it around your shoulders.

"Thanks."

"Bring a coat next time." Despite his slightly annoyed statement, you could have sworn you heard the smile in his voice.

"But if I bring a coat then I don't get to have your hoodie. Feels like home." You grinned, your head pushed against his shoulder with a big grin.

"You can just take one of my hoodies from my room.”

“Yeah but this one’s nice and warm now.” Your voice came out as a whine, one that Simon rolled his eyes in false annoyance.

“And that one would have warmed up too if you spent the entire night wearing it.”

"Too late now, no point in thinking what ifs. We can only look forward to the future."

"You can learn for the future. If you're not going to learn, then you can return it." He huffed much to your amused state.

"Ahhh I could orrrrr…" Your voice trailed off before you suddenly broke out into a sprint, pushing off him. A mad dash into the night which at first Ghost rolled his eyes to but decided to humour you either way.

In a half-jog, he followed. You were fast, incredibly faster. Yet, Ghost was always somehow faster. Right away you knew he allowed you to stay out of his range, that it was a game. One he was willing to play.

The game stepped up a notch when you came to the corner of a pair of buildings. Your legs carried you up the side of a gradually increasing fence to give you the height to jump on top of the industrial dumpsters. Next, you boosted yourself off one corner of the brick building before you climbed up the other side. Your fingers had done a good job at keeping your grip and soon you were up on top of the building. A small victory in Ghost's baggy jumper. Down on the ground, he tilted his head, his eyes darted on your path as he figured out how he wanted to approach your lead.

Squatting down at the top you couldn't help but poke out your tongue, a taunt came out with ease. "Come on big guy, let's see if your bite is as bad as your bark."

At your voice, his eyes snapped up to yours. A second later he moved. You couldn't help but watch in slight awe as he effortlessly sprinted up to the dumpster, large strides before he jumped up without the extra boost. To keep his momentum, he continued up the wall until finally, he climbed up over the edge of the building.

When he finally neared you did you snap into action and attempt to run away. The man wasn't having it of course. Simon's hand snaked around your waist which caused a squeal to escape your lips, one that turned into a bubbly giggle. He dragged you back slightly before he fell back onto the ground into a sit. A sit he pulled you into so that you sat on his lap while he leaned against an inactive aircon unit.

His grip never loosened, in fact, it only tightened as he secured you against his chest. Comfortable with you between his legs, Simon rest his head on your shoulder while you settled down. A second later, Simon used one of his hands to remove the half mask from his face. You managed to glimpse it when you looked down, it now sat on the ground next to your leg.

"It's nice here, you can see the stars." His deep voice was quiet in your ear, relaxed. A tone you didn't hear too often. Truly at peace.

"Remember when we were out in that forest?" Your voice softly asked. Despite being in the said situation many times before, Simon knew exactly what you were talking about.

"Yeah, could really see the stars then." He hummed, his nose against your neck before his lips soon graced your skin. A small kiss that had your heart skip a beat. One arm still wrapped tight around you, his free hand reached into his pocket for a moment before it tangled with your hand. A small object passed from him to you,  it had you pause and he let out a breath.

"Open it." A request. His hand left yours to sit on your thigh and you looked down. Slowly you opened the small box. The moonlight revived the contents, a ring. One that you had seen once before but this time the threat of his death wasn't just around the corner.

A simple band with engraving in the middle.

"Marry me." The words finally left his lips. He had finally found the right moment.

"Who loves wins." You read the engravement which had you pause. "Is that…" he smiled against your neck at your recognition of the edited motto.

"It is. Price, joked that when I first told him that our relationship was… a little more than professional."

"Ah, when you first told him you were fucking my brains out huh?" He chuckled against your neck at your crude paraphrasing.

"Rightly said. Can't deny, I certainly feel like I'm winning right now with you here."

"Aww Simon." You turned in his arms and he loosened his grip to allow you to face him. Your hands found his bare cheeks as you looked into his raccoon eyes. "Of course, I'll Marry you."  

His lips curled up for a moment before they descended against yours. The faintest of flavours from his drink still lingered and you couldn't help but smile at him. Simon's arms settled around you, pulled flush against his chest you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"What took you so long?" You managed to get out between breaths, between kisses.

"To ask again?"

"Soap asked the first time for you, that didn't count."

"Had to find the right moment." He gave in.

"And this is it? No fancy restaurant? No massive surprise in front of a crowd?"

"You wouldn't want a fancy restaurant. You wouldn't want a crowd. " His lips pressed against yours and you couldn't help the bubbly feeling that had consumed your chest, your very core. An undeniable excitement filled with love and adoration for the man.

"This is the right moment, a smile on your face, just us. In our line of work that doesn't happen too often." That way he looked at you, it was like you were the very soul of the Earth. The last beautiful thing left. "I saw that smug look on your face and thought how could I not marry that?"

Your head tilted back in a large laugh that exposed your neck to him. "You're the worst." Your left hand let go of his neck to lightly hit his chest in play fight.

"Put it on." He chuckled, a grin settled on his face.

You blinked as you looked down, the box still open in your hand. Mounted on his lap, you fully let go of him to pick the ring up. Filled with adrenaline, you could stop the way your hand started to shake as you held the ring out to put it on. Simon stopped though, he pulled the gloves from his hands and took the ring out of yours. One hand cupped yours to hold it steady, his thumb gently stroking over your knuckles while the other slowly slid the ring onto your finger.

It fit perfectly, not too tight, not too loose. Just right. "You know my ring size? I don't even know my ring size."

"I hold these hands enough to know the size of your fingers."

"Simon…" A dopey expression spread across your face and you practically flung yourself against him, peppering kisses all over his face. "People think you're a big scary Ghost but your just my big teddy bear aren't you?"

Simon attempted to talk but couldn't due to the laugh that bubbled in his chest as you continued your assault all over his face. He suddenly turned the pair of you to the side and fell back against the concrete roofing. With his arms around you, he settled you to the side in a position that the pair of you often woke up to. Tomorrow would bring another storm, but for the moment, you could enjoy each other's company.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Six Napoleons pt 2

Last time many people had plaster busts of Napoleon, which one of the owners admitted had no value. It was very strange.

And Lestrade is getting a bigger role, which I will always support.

For the first time our eyes rested upon this presentment of the great Emperor, which seemed to raise such frantic and destructive hatred in the mind of the unknown.

Do not understand why Napoleon is being referred to with such respect. Historically the British have not had the most positive relationship with the French. It's been super messy. But I guess if you rule enough places in the world and fight enough people then... Victorians thought you were cool? Even if you were French? And some of the people you fought were their grandparents?

This whole thing is strange to me.

Apart from the fact someone is dead. That I got.

“The most practical way of getting at it, in my opinion, is to identify the dead man."

That does seem like an important step in the investigation.

“No doubt; and yet it is not quite the way in which I should approach the case.”

I know that this is because Holmes doesn't think the dead man is linked to the case beyond being there at the time, and he cares about the puzzle here. But I do still believe that identifying the body is important.

"Tell him from me that I have quite made up my mind, and that it is certain that a dangerous homicidal lunatic with Napoleonic delusions was in his house last night. It will be useful for his article.”

Don't give my favourite character a false lead, Holmes!

"Let us make for Mr. Morse Hudson, of the Kennington Road, and see if he can throw any light upon the problem.”

This time I will not be taken in. Those are both surnames. I am sure of it!

"Disgraceful, sir! A Nihilist plot, that's what I make it. No one but an Anarchist would go about breaking statues. Red republicans, that's what I call 'em."

How times have changed! It's definitely the republicans who smash the statues of military dictators. Lolol.

"Do I know that photograph? No, I don't. Yes, I do, though. Why, it's Beppo. He was a kind of Italian piece-work man, who made himself useful in the shop. He could carve a bit and gild and frame, and do odd jobs. The fellow left me last week, and I've heard nothing of him since".

The 'no, I don't, wait, I do' is very realistic. I appreciate that. And clearly Beppo is a bad guy here. He just left his job right before all of this started to happen. He's either on the run from our Napoleonic Bust Buster or he is the Bust Buster himself.

"...we came to a riverside city of a hundred thousand souls, where the tenement houses swelter and reek with the outcasts of Europe."

So it's an immigrant area. And it's a shitty place to live. Surprising absolutely no one.

Their wholesale price was six shillings, but the retailer would get twelve or more.

Maths time

I believe that should be approximately £60 RRP per bust. So that doctor spent the equivalent of £120 on busts of Napoleon that were destroyed.

Sucks to be him, I guess.

The work was usually done by Italians in the room we were in.

Ooh, where did we last see an Italian? Or not see him, actually, because he had mysteriously and suspiciously disappeared a few days prior.

Beppo, what have you done?

"Beppo was his name—his second name I never knew. Serve me right for engaging a man with such a face."

Excuse me?

Oh, this is the guy that Watson compared to an ape, isn't it. Oh good grief. Seriously? I'm kind of on Beppo's side right now. Sure he killed someone, but you're clearly a dickhead. In fiction, the second one is definitely a worse crime.

If you weren't conventionally attractive according to Victorian values, you just died, I guess.

"No, I have never seen this face which you show me in the photograph. You would hardly forget it, would you, sir, for I've seldom seen an uglier."

People really need to stop saying things like that. If I were Beppo and I had to put up with that constantly, I would have knifed someone in the street, too.

"His name is Pietro Venucci, from Naples, and he is one of the greatest cut-throats in London. He is connected with the Mafia, which, as you know, is a secret political society, enforcing its decrees by murder."

The fact they have to explain what the Mafia is. 😂

And it should be noted, that Lestrade is at least also on the Italian path through his investigations. Yes, he's ignoring the busts, which is strange, but he's definitely sniffing up the right kind of tree.

I assume that whatever was hidden in the busts after the infamous knifing of June 3rd has some connection to Mr Venucci.

“Is a very simple one. I shall go down with Hill to the Italian quarter, find the man whose photograph we have got, and arrest him on the charge of murder."

OK, now he has skipped out a number of steps in the 'proving Beppo committed the crime' process.

Lestrade, I was rooting for you!

"I can't say for certain, because it all depends—well, it all depends upon a factor which is completely outside our control."

All the best plans rely on things that are completely outside of your control. I assume Holmes' plan is to lie in wait at the house of one of the other bust owners and hope that Beppo didn't find what he was looking for in the last bust he smashed.

For my own part, I had followed step by step the methods by which he had traced the various windings of this complex case, and, though I could not yet perceive the goal which we would reach, I understood clearly that Holmes expected this grotesque criminal to make an attempt upon the two remaining busts, one of which, I remembered, was at Chiswick. No doubt the object of our journey was to catch him in the very act...

It seems like you do, in fact, perceive the goal, Watson. The goal is to catch the criminal in the act. You don't perceive the criminal's goal, which is an entirely different thing.

I was not surprised when Holmes suggested that I should take my revolver with me. He had himself picked up the loaded hunting-crop which was his favourite weapon.

How does one load a hunting crop?

Oh... it has a steel core.

Well that doesn't seem very nice.

But I suppose neither is a revolver.

[softsky-daily]

7/17/2024

It was an inside kinda day.

Positive thing: I got a lot of sleep.

I ended up not getting much done just because I was exhausted, and also stressed thinking about internship tomorrow. Going to bed and waking up early and being there all day is just the worst. I'm hoping it won't be so bad this week since our supervisor said she'd take us on field trips to different internship sites, but she might still be sick, and either way she's canceled on stuff before.

I really need to get ahold of her so I can tell her I'm quitting early. Going there the past few months has just been draining away my willpower like a huge motivation vacuum.

Man. I thought I'd be over working at places that make me feel shitty ever since I quit my last job, but it had to be baked right into my program (which, for the record, has also been making me feel shitty). I was talking to a classmate friend a bit and she said she could see her future so clearly once she graduated, becoming a private practice counselor straight out the gate. I think that made me realize I am just in a whole other universe compared to that. My mind is focused on being anywhere else, doing anything else. It almost breaks my heart because this is what I wanted to do since I was little, and certainly I think I'd be a very good counselor.

But not here. And not like this. I need a serious break regardless, and it is just not being given to me. I can take a lot but I'm at my limit and it's terrible that the overarching message in this field I keep hearing is that we don't rest. Whatever self care we tout, we don't actually follow through with that. We have to push through because our clients need us and nobody else can do it.

And I think it is true to some extent. Our system just doesn't allow for better, accessible mental health services, and it falls to those willing to sacrifice a lot to be able to help. Another classmate friend told me he's seen so many counselors who have just lost their humanity over the years trying to stay and help at these places. I know what he means. Especially at internship - the softness and gentleness is just not in them anymore, even the ones who stay generally kind. I can understand why. It's a tough job. Even I can feel some of my gentleness leaving and I hate that more than anything.

I remember feeling frustrated because people have said "this career just might not be for you." And if it isn't? What would you have me do? I still need to finish my degree. The feeling of being trapped is so palpable I could almost reach out and shake the bars of my cage for real.

Anyway, tomorrow I'll just get myself through internship, and then the next day the same thing, and then I can sleep in on the weekend. On Sunday I'm volunteering at a dinner for Japanese students visiting from Takasaki High School (which I believe is in Gunma Prefecture). I'm excited for that. And hopefully somewhere in between I'll be able to flag down my internship supervisor and tell her I'm quitting early.

[queenunderthatmountain]

Literati endgame?

okay but i really didn't get why everyone hated the gilmore girls ending because for me it seems like a Jess and Rory endgame is actually quite possible (and likely).

Okay, so we know only that she's with Logan's baby.

But (sorry team Logan) it seems kinda clear that she's not gonna end up with him. First of all, I think her being lost and suddenly becoming pregnant on accident is an obvious parallel to Lorelei, so it makes sense to me she's gonna be a single mother for a while. Even more so, because Logan and Christopher are soo much alike. (yes Logan is much older and more mature then Christopher was at 16 but Chris was a shitty dad way longer).

And if you were able to look past Logans red flags in gilmore girls (sleeping with like 4 different people right after allegedly breaking up, looking down on people with less money, being a dick towards Jess for no reason) after AYITL I don't think anyone can deny that he's just not a great guy who cheats on his fiance with no remorse whatsoever. So yeah, I actually dont know if he would want to be in the kids and rorys life, but I just dont think it would work out either way.

So now to Jess.

Yes, you can have a different interpretation, but to me he just looked at Rory not only lovingly but with so much longing and even pain in his eyes that its obvious hes not over her and still in love.

Hes appeared when Rory was lost before, when she drOpped out if yAle and later, when she was without job or underwear. Jess had the idea with the book as well, so he kind of guided her towards a new path, I cant imagene him not taking part in the process of her book writing. She was so exited to show him the first three chapters, I think she would want to include him later as well, or maybe ask him for advice as a writer (maybe he'd be the publisher?).

So I definitely belive it's realistic for him to still be in her life, and maybe support her with her kid in some ways (like Luke?)

And now to Rory.

I do think it was right for her to move on after he left, but it always felt so incomplete to me, I was so sure they'd get back together a second time, sometime after him telling her he loves her. I truly believe they are soulmates, in the way that they understand each other better than anyone else, like the same things, have so much in common. Hes was very troubled and disturbed when they were dating, but he was the only boyfriend who really worked on himself (Logans not sleeping around doesnt count) and changed.

And while I am sure she did love Jess, it just doesnt feel right that she never said it back. Yes we got "might have loved you" but idk thats just not enough.

They were dating for such a short time compared to the others, did not even have sex (which could make a relationship appear more serious) yes they had this incredible connection, they still care so much about each other and immediately talk like they used to, even when they havent spoken in years.

So yeah, I think the timing was never right, at first Jess was too troubled, then Rory was in love with Logan, but I really do believe that not only did she always love him, i think a part of her was always IN love with him.

Now, that their lifestyles could sympathize I think she would see that, and no way he'd be like "yeah sorry too late". They needee their time, like Lorelei and Luke, but in the end I see them.

[whumble-beeee]

Whumptember 2023, Day 19

“You are not a hero. You’re a child playing dress up. Now take off that silly mask and go home.”

Villain mentor | In over their head | Trembling 

The Bee's Whumptember Masterlist 

~2180 words

CW: female whumpee, minor whumpee (15yo), suffocation, blood, stabbing with knife, minor character implied death? (idek if they're dead tbh), fear of death, very very shitty caretaker

(this is a part of the same story as Day 1: Did I Do Good? Takes place quite a bit in the past compared to the other one. You don’t need to read that story to understand this one :))

------------

“End of the line, little girl.”

The ice villain slowly advanced upon Air-Master with leisurely bravado, a deadly sharp icicle forming in her hands as she closed in on her captured prey desperately fumbling to shatter the ice that froze her legs and arm to the ground. 

“Stay back!” Air-Master screamed, slamming her fist down into the cement hard enough to draw blood and create a solid wall of air between the two. The villain tilted her head quizically at the sudden obstruction before swinging her icicle down into the substance, tearing it to bits with a light woosh. Turns out, air isn’t very hard to break through.

The villain laughed, finally reaching Air-Master and crouching down over her stomach, pinning her only unfrozen arm to the scratchy ground. She positioned the icicle over Air-Master’s heart.

“Alright kid, this has been fun,” The villain mused, enjoying how the young hero's bloodshot eyes stared at her, red with unshed tears and full of fury-riddled terror. “But sadly, it’s time–”

Suddenly, the villain wasn’t on top of Air-Master anymore. She was slamming into the nearby warehouse wall with a sickening smack, held in place by some sort of robotic claw that, like most of its immediate surroundings, was now sprinkled with morbid red flecks of blood. She went limp and didn’t move again.

“Jenna!” a worried voice yelled from Air-Master’s left, its embodiment crouching over her and pushing his fingers to her neck to find a pulse. “What the hell?! Are you okay?!”

Air-Master pursed her lips and squeezed her eyes shut, chest heaving with barely muffled cries. She was not going to cry in front of Destron. It was bad enough that he’d come to her rescue.

“What the hell are you doing all the way out here?” Destron raised some sort of sharp bludgeoning device and slammed it into her ice-laden arm, shattering the ice while still leaving her hand thankfully intact. “It’s dangerous, especially for kids and especially for… well girls. Women. Didn’t your mother tell you that?”

“Yes,” Air-Master spat, rubbing her arms together to warm them as Destron started slamming away at the more mountainous task of breaking out her legs. “And it’s not Jenna, it’s Air-Master. I’m on the job right now.”

Destron paused mid-chisel to raise his eyebrow at her. “Air-Master? One of those workout stair elliptical things? Like stairmaster?” Destron laughed at his own stupid joke. Air-Master ground her teeth. “Pick a better superhero name, kid. Then I still won’t call you it, because you’re not a superhero.”

“You’re one to judge, Destron. Because that’s such a great name…” Jenna hissed. “I am a superhero. I have a superpower and I’m out fighting bad guys. That’s what superheroes do.”

 Destron chuckled. “Is that right? Well then, call me the best and brightest on the force, because I had to save your super-kid butt from a class nothing villain… You’re gonna need a lot more training if you want to be the one saving people instead of making others save you.”

Jenna feltl tears burning at the back of her eyes again, more so than even when she was about to die just moments earlier. She slammed her fists on the ground. “I didn’t ask you to save me!” she cried. “Why’re you so obsessed with me?! You tried to kill my mom, you kidnapped me! We’re supposed to be mortal enemies! Get away from me!”

Destron’s face took on a rare form of shock as he stared at Jenna, just short of shattering the ice off her first leg. Then his eyes narrowed, daring her to say something even more stupid. “Excuse me?”

Jenna’s throat closed up at Destron’s sudden intensity, but her anger refused to let her back down now. “I can take care of myself. I’m a superhero, I don’t need help from villains like you.”

“Jenna–”

“Air-Master.” she corrected.

“Jenna.” Destron stated. “You’re not ready to be a superhero yet. You’re too young, you’re inexperienced. You don’t have any training, most importantly. And no, whatever your sorry excuse of a mother tried to teach you doesn’t count.”

“But–”

Destron scooted closer to Jenna so he could rest a hand on her shoulder and look her in the eyes, as stern as he could muster. “You are not a hero, Jenna...” He sighed. “You’re a child playing dress up. It’s time to take off that silly mask and go home. Please”

Jenna felt something break inside her. Angry tears started to roll down her cheeks as she threw Destron’s hand off her shoulder with breakneck force

“YOU’RE NOT MY DAD! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!! YOU’RE A SUPERVILLAIN, I HATE YOU!!”

“Please just listen–”

“I HATE YOU!!”

She conjured up a spear of hardened air in her rage, flinging it at him with reckless abandon. Destron snatched it out of the air and stared at it for a moment. Then broke it in two and slammed it into the ground. The two halves dissipated rapidly.

“Hmm… It seems I’ve made an error. You’re right, little hero.” Destron muttered, a cold calm enveloping his voice like Jenna had never heard before. All of her rage dissipated just like her air weapons. It almost made her dizzy. 

“I– What?”

“I’m a supervillain,” Destron spelled out, eyes firmly on the modified shuriken he now toyed with in one hand. “And you’re a superhero. And the villains always defeat the heroes, no? Either that or the villains do heinous things to the heroes.” Destron threw the throwing star, and Jenna’s eyes followed it right to where it implanted in the red-stained wall directly next to the still unmoving ice villain's head. 

“That's just what villains do, right?”

 “Uh– I… Yes?...” Jenna squeaked.

“Wonderful. Glad we’re on the same page. Defeat me then.”

Jenna shrunk back from the man now standing over her, the ice freezing her legs to the ground suddenly becoming blindingly frigid. “Y–you-you you want me to… to fight you?”

“That's what heroes and villains do, no?”

“Uh, uh, yes, but… but you’re not–”

“Yes, yes, I’m a villain, I know. Not your dad, not a superhero, but a supervillain. You made that very clear.”

Jenna just stared at the man. There was no way he actually expected her, a 15-year-old girl, to fight him, who some people feared even speaking the name of just in case they evoked him. Not to mention she was still iced to the damn–

“Ugh, you’re worried about the power imbalance?” Destron sneered, rolling his eyes. “Fine, you have 30 seconds to do whatever.”

Blood roared in Jenna’s ear, adrenaline making her tremble intensely as she suddenly struggled to take a full breath. “Wait, w-wai-wait-wait, but–”

“It’s 30 more seconds than she gave you.” Destron gestured with some magically appearing mechanical staff over to the villain he had pinned to the wall like a butterfly. “Use it wisely. 26 now. 25, 24…”

Through her adrenaline-fueled haze, Jenna managed to conjure up a small but rock-hard, and most importantly sharp mound that she started bludgeoning at the ice with. Just like the one Destron used. The first casing came away easily. The second took a few hits, but she managed to rip her legs out with only medium amounts of gashes. She scrambled up and conjured a knife of air, taking a defensive position with her blade held straight out at her opponent. She bared her teeth with a trembling body as she hissed out her breath through her teeth and glared at him.

Destron tilted his head at her, slowly spinning the staff around like a twirling baton. “8, 7…”

Jenna conjured up and skipped across newly appearing solid air platforms. She ignored her legs’ screeches of pain and leaped off the platform toward Destron just as he hit “3, 2…” and buried the feather-light knife into his shoulder with a sickening amount of force.

Destron let out a pained gurgling sound as the knife embedded itself just below the clavicle, grabbing Jenna’s wrist to prevent her from pulling it out just as she tried to jump back. He looked up at her through his eyelashes, striking a lightning bolt through Jenna’s heart as she saw the violence in his eyes. “One.”

Suddenly, Jenna felt… tired. So, so tired. The fight felt so much more impossible now. Destron leveraged the staff up from under his armpit and over Jenna’s shoulder, slamming her onto her back using his body as the fulcrum of the lever. Jenna went down with a yelp, grasping at the air and even managing to conjure her own staff out of the stuff as she slammed into the ground. Destron fell to one knee on her chest, knocking any extra wind she still had in her lungs out of her, and shoved the center of his weapon down at her, eyes dead set on her own as he slammed once, twice, three times against her own weapon until it disappeared under the force and the shank of the staff pressed down straight on her windpipe.

She couldn’t breathe. She actually, literally couldn’t breathe. Her throat itched with a burning cough she couldn’t satiate, her chest heaved against the weight of the villain. She tried to push up against the staff. Gravity and strength both worked against her, and it didn’t budge an inch. Destron’s face was a mask of cold determination. The taste of metal filled her mouth. She squeezed her eyes shut. Destron was going to kill her. 

The weight of the staff suddenly lifted off her neck, as did the knee on her chest. Jenna immediately started coughing uncontrollably, curling up into herself as she was gently pushed onto her side. The entire encounter hadn’t even lasted 5 seconds after Destron started fighting back… She curled even further into herself and let out a loud cry to the heavens. She was never going to be a superhero.

“You’re supposed to tap out,” Destron said from somewhere beyond the haze of looming death. She stayed like that for a long time, lying prostrate on the ground, curled up in her little ball, coughing into her hands as tears soaked into her hair and the cement under her.

“I was going easy on you,” Destron stated, patting Jenna’s back and rubbing circles as her coughs started to subside. “Usually I don’t just turn off the adrenaline response. Usually I make my opponent feel hopeless. Like the world already crashed down around them as they stood by and watched and did nothing. Sometimes they just… curl up at my feet.”

Jenna rolled to her back again with a wheeze, body still spasming with aftershocks as she looked at Destron with half-lidded eyes.

“You got me pretty good, though. In the shoulder.” Destron gestured to his new wound, actively gushing blood all over his sleeveless jacket. “Those air weapons are really something. They just need to be honed so they aren’t so fragile. And good fighting instincts, too, you did better than I thought you would.”

Jenna stared up at the light-polluted sky and squeezed her eyes shut. “You–... You tried to ki-i–” she fell into yet another coughing fit, coughs that painfully rattled through her throat. “You-ou were gonna ki-ill me.”

“I was never gonna kill you, kid. Just had to make it believable so the lesson would make it through all that teenage angst..”

“I hate you.” Jenna cried softly. In the moment, she really meant it too. “I hate you so-o-o mu-uch. So-so much.”

“That’s fair…” Destron conceded. “Tell you what, I could train you. Do a hell of a better job than your mom. Then you could be a real superhero.”

Jenna stared at Destron as her mouth practically fell agape. “Fuck you!”

“Hey! Watch the language! You’re what, like 15?”

“Yes!” Jenna shouted, feeling a second wind finally start to fill her body once again. His power must have finally been wearing off. She sat up to face Destron head-on. “I’m 15! And you, a full-grown man, most superpowered and feared person in the entire city, beat the shit out of me until I thought I was actually gonna die! Then you act like we’re all buddy-buddy again like everything’s normal? No! Normal isn’t almost killing someone just to prove a point! I’m allowed to swear! Fuck you! You’re the worst!”

Destron’s eyes widened at Jenna as she struggled to stand up again after the entire ordeal. Could she really not know? Destron fumbled with his hands. He really was a bad mentor…

“Jenna…” He whispered. “That… That is normal. Almost dying, almost killing people, actualy killing people, feeling every feeling day in and day out. That’s what being a superhero is. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. It’s not a burden to be taken lightly.”

Jenna froze halfway through her standing up. Her shoulders slumped. She took a deep breath.

“...I’m… I’m going home…”

She started walking away slowly.

“You want me to walk you?” Destron called after her.

“Fuck you!”

“Give the training a thought! You know how to call me!”

Jenna didn’t even grace that comment with a response.

@whumptember

[being-worthy]

Guns N’ Roses - 3½ hour concert (and a long Slash guitar solo)!!

(This is my 2nd attempt writing this because Tumblr's automatic saving is shitty.)

I know, I know... I'm soooooooooooooooo freaking late with this...

But I had some issues, health and mostly to do with work, and my dumb manager who changes his mind more than a Kardashian changes her clothes in a day. (I hope to quit it soon and hopefully with a new/better job in the horizon.)

But without further ado, let's get to the GNR concert.

The concert was at the Cívitas Metropolitano on Friday, 9th June 23 in Madrid. The weather was nice and warm, a bit cloudy but no rain thankfully, since it had been raining cats and dogs at the beginning of the week. Although there were around 40,000 people present, the home stadium of Atlético Madrid was not fully filled, sadly.

Let's start with the negative parts...

The music started, and I don't mean GNR, but the opening act was not until almost 4 hours later(!!) than its scheduled time.

Apparently, and this is just a rumour. Still, I heard this from many many many security staff members, volunteers, and last but not least, even GNR staff members that it was because Axl was being a little diva and didn't show up until like an hour later after everyone had already been at the venue for rehearsal. The security staff couldn't even have their lunch break on time but only 2 hours later! Imagine these people are on-site since the wee hours of the morning and might have water and a snack here and there, but not proper food in them and you've to wait an extra 2 hours for your lunch and the guys for the next shift. Once I was at the entrance of the venue, I could hear Axl practising which was great but I wanted them to get some food and to get to the main event already!

Moreover, they were supposed to practise the day before but this was cancelled due to rain and I WAS THERE to check out the venue (and totally not because my silly butt mistook the dates 🤣) and the supposed "rain" was like a few water drops and some wind. Now, I'm not an expert, but I don't see that for a little water, which I wouldn't even consider rain, it'd be necessary to cancel the whole band practice, especially if the whole thing is under a roof and the venue is known for being one hell of a place to get the sound right. I don't consider this very professional, particularly, the part that Axl was late which I was also told that it wasn't the first time (the previous one was that everyone was at the place in the morning but he said that he had to finish his lunch and didn't appear until way after lunchtime). I could've overlooked this if anyone not even necessarily Axl, just anyone had apologised right when the concert started. Nevertheless, it wouldn't be a GNR concert without its shenanigans, I guess.

The organisation left a lot to be desired (again). It was the same story that the GNR staff didn't communicate with the venue staff like last year which I don't understand why this is something so difficult to do? And hundreds of people didn't know where they had to go in order to wait to get inside.

There were some sound problems, especially, because they didn't practise enough and this stadium is known for being difficult and requires a lot of rehearsal (at least, a full day), but it wasn't as bad as last year despite most opinions I've heard, mind you I was front row, like literally in front of the horn which Axl always toots right before Nightrain.

And the last thing, the stage was way too high up compared to the previous year. I could barely see them when Duff and Slash sat in front of the drums and play. I’ve got no clue why they’d raise it up so high. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Now about the positive aspects...

The opening was done by The Pretenders and they were a G-O-O-D F-R-E-A-K-I-N-G choice! They were amazing and brought me many children's memories back 😊.

Chrissie Hynde's voice was so ethereal and she sounded so great!! I loved them so much as a child and I'd like to see them again.

Once the stars of the event appeared, I wanted to smooch Axl sooooo badly!! He started greeting my home with his enunciation in English saying "Spaaaainnnnn" with that "n" nasal typical of him.

There was a moment when Slash was lying on top of the equipment and I wanted to throw myself on top of him 😂 - don't blame me for this, I know I'm not the only one who probably had the same thought.

I loved that they played Yesterdays, Patience, and You Could Be Mine which are some of my favourite songs of them. 😭❤️

But what really really made this event so special and unique to me was when I blew a kiss to Duff and he gave me a full-teeth smile from ear to ear and he look so good and sweet!! I was trying not to pass out of how delicious Slash was with his shirt wide open, glistening from all the sweat (I never wanted to be a drop of sweat so bad in my life like in that moment) and his arms and hands and veins, god dammit his arms!! YUMMY!!!! 🤤 And when I blew a kiss to Slash too... I thought I was done for it for real!! 😍😍😍 He gave me a sexy and devilish smirk combined with a wink and made this gesture but showing his long and big tongue fully out:

I was ready for heaven/hell to take me.

And yes, my loins were very on hellfire at that moment!

The concert ended around 0.57 am and it was quite an adventure to get back to my accommodation and fight my way through thousands of people to get to the last train of the day.

Here's the list of the songs they played:

It’s So Easy

Bad Obsession

Chinese Democracy

Mr. Brownstone

Slither (Velvet Revolver version)

Welcome to the Jungle

Pretty Tied Up

Reckless Life

Double Talkin’ Jive

Hard Skool

Absurd

Live and Let Die (Wings version)

Wichita Lineman (Jimmy Webb version)

You Could Be Mine

Estranged

Down on the Farm (UK Subs version)

Rocket Queen

Anything Goes

T.V. Eye (The Stooges version) (and baby boy Duff sung! He should sing more!)

There Was a Time

Don’t Cry

Shadow of Your Love

Civil War

Long Slash guitar solo

Sweet Child o’ Mine

November Rain

This I Love

Locomotive

Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door (Bob Dylan version)

Nightrain

Extras:

Yesterdays

Patience

Paradise City

I'd have preferred it if everything had been better organised and if there had been some more interaction from Axl and the rest with the audience. I mean, it's not that difficult to include your audience one way or another. We didn't even get a 'thank you' at the end, but one thing I want to tell everyone is to stop comparing then and now, whether you've had the honour to see them in the past or not, just enjoy it as much as possible and stop saying crap like "he sounded better back then and now he sounds like a chipmunk" or "they've gained so much weight", or any other nonsense like it. To everyone saying shit like this, bugger off!! 🖕

Overall, I give the concert a solid 9/10.

Last picture credits to Guns N' Roses.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Beyond the Blood Tie - Chapter Nineteen.

A huge thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing this! It makes me so happy when I see notifications come through on it :)

Previous Chapters - One  Two, Part One Part Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen

Words - 5,655

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI!

Angel's POV

"Being outlaw, it just made sense to me, you know? I wasn’t all that good in school, EZ was the golden child there, and I couldn’t ever live up to that, so I quit trying. My parents were gonna be disappointed in me no matter what. They still loved me, but I was nothing compared to him and his trajectory, until he fucked up, shot a cop and then did time for it, but I already explained all of that to you.  

“So, yeah. Being a criminal is where I excelled in life. Being a tattoo artist is a nice change of pace for my death. I don’t get nearly the same amount of female interest as I once did, though. Then again, a lot of people are still shit scared of vampires, so that explains it, I mean, not that I’d want it now that I have you, but shit, being an outlaw is a cert for getting you laid,” I explain to Edie as we lie in bed talking. This is the first time I've told anyone of my life after being made vampire, of course. It feels good to do so with her.

"Yeah, I know you were very popular with a lot of women. When we were blood tied before, I saw a lot of them through your memories," she tells me while I sit and curl a strand of her hair around my finger over and over.

"I was, I won't lie. Although I can wager a lot of them only wanted me because of what I did rather than who I actually was," I confess.

"I think it probably had a lot to do with the fact that you're gorgeous, too," she whispers, reaching up to stroke my cheek. She's lying here next to me resting her chin on my chest with her hands stroking me or finding mine on occasion. It feels more blissful than I could ever have let myself imagine.

"I agree, that too," I wink, laughing when she rolls her eyes, mouthing ‘show off’ at me.

"Well, you certainly made sure you'd look good for all eternity. This body, damn, dude.” She runs her finger down my bicep, tickling my armpit with her fingernail, before trailing over my chest, her hand coming to rest again. “God, you’re so fucking sexy!” she exclaims, hiding her face for a moment. “And you’re mine!”

“I am,” I confirm. “Not so bad looking yourself there, either. Believe me, trying to be good and complying with your wishes not to dive on you ain’t easy at all. The way you looked in that dress tonight, fucking hell! Damn, girl.” She giggles then, leaning in close and kissing me. “Gorgeous.” I kiss her again, Edie humming happily into my mouth as she strokes my beard.  

I got her back. I fucking got my girl back.  

"So, we've veered off course a little. What did you enjoy doing away from your life in the MC?" she then asks me.

"I liked to be artistic with pencils and paint, which shows in what I now do for a living. Mainly, though, it was hitting the gym, having lots of sex and drinking. I was an active human, but I also enjoyed a great deal of sitting on my ass watching movies and eating bad food," I tell her, watching her smile.

"That's like me. I feel great when I work out but I also feel great when I sit on the couch eating fried chicken and watching old television shows on the Historic Comedy Network, stuff like Golden Girls, Cheers and 3rd Rock from the Sun I particularly enjoy." She attempts to stifle a yawn but doesn’t quite manage it.

"I used to watch 3rd Rock with Coco before we joined the club, back when we only worked shitty assed part-time jobs," I reveal, suddenly feeling a little low for thinking of my late friend. If only Charles and Ursula had seen us sooner, seen him, too. I think he would have liked being a vampire.

"Does it feel really far away, when you lost him and the others? Or does that much time really not put distance between something as big as losing everyone you knew bar one person? Sorry if that's an insensitive question.”

"No, of course it isn't. You're right, time does put distance between then and now, obviously. It doesn't feel as bad to me as it did back then, when I was still human. Being vampire has numbed me to it all somewhat. They're all still in my memories though, where they'll remain forever," I reply, smiling and stroking her cheek when she yawns again. "We can resume talking tomorrow. You need to sleep, and the dawn is approaching anyway, so I'll be no use to you then either."

"That'd be nice. After everything tonight, I think I need my rest. I feel pretty mentally exhausted. Too much excitement," she says, moving up the bed a little more to kiss me.

"I'm looking forward to the fact when I open my eyes again, you'll be the first thing I see. Goodnight, beautiful," I tell her, kissing her head and wrapping her in my arms.

"Don’t get too excited, I look all feral first thing in the morning.” I can’t help but snort with laughter.

“No, you don’t! Be quiet, and go to sleep.” She gives me another kiss before resting her head down on my chest. I lie here and stare down at her for a few moments before shutting my eyes, sleep taking hold.  

When they open again many hours later, I find that Edie is still sleeping in exactly the same place she was when I fell asleep, and so as not to wake her, I hold my hand under her head and then quickly move myself out from underneath her, resting her head back down again before dressing and doing my hair. I need to go and feed before I clean my teeth. Yes, quite a few of us vampires brush our teeth. We'd smell like a butcher's shop if we didn't. After quickly heading out to procure a feed from a regular dinner donor of mine, I head back home and find I have someone waiting for me in the hallway, her arms folded as stares at me with a look of slight confusion.

"Why is Edie upstairs asleep in your bed?" Ursula questions me immediately.

"I decided the pain of being without her would be greater than the pain of her binding me in silver so we can have the relationship we want with each other," I confess simply, watching her face as she slowly begins to smile. "I thought that would be a truer test of my vampirism, to go through pain in order to get what I want than go through pain and still have nothing." I then add, as my creator begins to nod heartily, and then moves to hug me.

"I'm so pleased for you, and so very proud, too. It shows how much you love her very clearly, to be willing to go through such pain in order to sustain a sexual relationship with her. Yes, you are correct. It is a greater test for you to go through," she confirms in agreement, kissing my cheek.

"There's something I wanted to discuss with you about it, a small theory I had, but one that I'm not so sure on," I then ask, knowing Ursula will be more than willing to help with my thoughts. If you couldn't tell by now, she very much likes discussion.

"To the kitchen, let us sit.” Five seconds later and I'm sitting down opposite her while she listens intently to my theory.

"I've been wondering for a time, since I first began to develop feelings for Edie that maybe my problem was only ever a problem with all those other girls because I didn't care one iota about them. I'm challenging the notion that I'll do the exact same thing to Edie at the point of blowing my load, because I actually do love her. I know I have no conscious control over what I do when I reach that point, but what if something within that unconsciousness could prevent me from doing it to Edie, like a stop switch being flicked in my brain, and giving me the message not to? Sorry, I know I didn't articulate that as well as I probably could have," I explain, shaking my head.

"No, my precious one, I understand your point completely. To be perfectly honest with you, I have been quietly wondering the exact same thing. I discussed it with Charles recently, but I didn't want to say anything to you and give you any false hope. I think for certain the first time you and Edie have sex you need to be chained down, but then when you reach the point of no return, as it were, try to gauge how you feel. If you feel exactly the same, that murderous feeling that overcomes you one minute only to come round from it and not remember the moment fully, then you'll know Edie sadly isn't an exception. If you feel anything different to that, well that is what will tell you whether you can trust yourself to remove the restrains the next time you both try," she explains to me, while I sit and nod.

"What you've said makes perfect sense. Thanks, Ursula. I really do appreciate it since, it's something I'm looking forward to, but yet dreading in equal measures. I know I can't hurt her when bound in silver, but..." I trail off, trying to find the words to convey how it makes me feel.

"You still don't want to feel anything less than loving and attentive to her while you're having sex with her. You don't even want to feel that urge to kill her, despite being bound because she's the woman you love, and you only want to look at her though loving eyes, not ones that wish to harm her, no matter how much that isn't what you truly want," she offers, hitting the nail right on the head.

"Exactly that.” I love the way she can try and guess what I want to convey and then articulate it so perfectly for me.

"Well, I suppose you'll want to be getting back to her, let me keep you no more," Ursula stands from the table, and with that I zoom out of my seat and back up to my room where I find Edie awake and tapping out a text on her phone at the window, where she's smoking.

"Good morning, even though it's evening," she tells me with a big smile.

"Sentiment returned. How long have you been awake for?" I ask, moving to her side and then picking her up while I sit on the end of the couch, putting her down on my lap.

"Only about fifteen minutes, and I don't quite feel fully awake yet either. I need to go and out and search for coffee, oh and food," she replies, her stomach growling at her right on cue.

"The coffee I can help with, as that's something we have in the house, but food I can't, sadly. I'll take you to get something to eat though, if you like?" I offer, stroking her hair and kissing her head.

"I forgot about that, that you have tea and coffee here. Of course, you made me a tea last night. Also thank you for the offer of taking me to get food, but won't the smell be massively off putting to you?”  I like that, how she's mindful over my own likes and dislikes in the face of her own needs.

"Get something to take out and eat it back at yours, at least then I won't be bombarded by the aromas of several different dishes all at once. Is that okay with you?" I have to meet her halfway, here. She’s human; they need food, obviously. My nose and I will have to deal with it.  

"That's absolutely fine.” After she's finished her cigarette and gone to get dressed, and I've brushed my teeth, we leave, heading to fetch her something to eat. After she's chosen a tofu stir fry with noodles and green beans (she's not vegetarian, she just likes the stuff) we head back to her place, Edie changing into a pair of beaten-up old jeans and a cropped vest before coming back out to eat. I try not to look too repulsed by the food smell, but god, it’s so bad.

"How bad is it, the smell of food to you? What could you liken it to for me to understand what it's like for you to smell it?" she asks me, twirling noodles around her fork.

"Imagine sitting next to a corpse that's beginning to rot, or putrid garbage without feeling ill. That's what it's like for us being around food. It's marginally better at the moment because you aren't eating meat, that's one thing that is truly repellent to us, the smell of dead flesh being cooked," I explain for her, watching her pull a slightly sour face.

"I'm sorry, I'll go finish this outside.” She makes a start to leave, but I halt her.  

"No, no, I ain’t gonna stop you from eating in your own home. I’ll just have to deal with it. Either that or go occupy myself. What were those jobs you said you needed to get done while we were waiting for your food?" She stops chewing immediately.  

"I can't ask you to do my chores for me, Angel," she states, with a little frown.

"You're not asking, I'm offering. It'll take me minutes anyway, and then means once you've eaten, we can go back to enjoying that nice discussion we were having before we went to sleep last night. So, what needs to be done?"  

"Well, if you insist. I needed to rake the leaves out of the lawn, which I was going to leave until morning, I have to do my dark wash and clean the bathroom, and also vacuum and dust in the lounge," she replies. "I feel bad though, are you sure you don't mind?" she then adds, poking out her bottom lip in an adorably cute way.

"I wouldn't have offered if I minded. Now, point me in the direction of everything I need to do those aforementioned chores and I’ll get to it.” After she's pointed at the cupboards that contain everything I need, I leave her to her smelly food and begin the tasks I appointed myself to do. Combined, they'd take Edie about an hour I should imagine, but with me on the case I'm all finished by the time she's eaten and washed her plate, all ready to recommence the getting to know you chatter I so enjoyed with her last night.

Edie's POV

"Even in the dark I can tell you did a better job than me at leaf raking, damn that's tidy, and my lounge looks great. Thank you, wonderful boyfriend," I tell Angel, kissing his cheek, noticing him suddenly frown, but beam at the same time. "What? Sorry was my use of the word boyfriend too soon?" I then ask, worried I've been a little hasty.

"No, it’s fine, because we are together now after all, so that’s what I am. It was just strange and nice at the same time to hear me being referred to as that, as someone's boyfriend, when I haven't been one to anyone in a hundred years," he replies, wrapping me in his arms tightly and kissing me again. I know I was only telling Katya recently that I didn't want a relationship at the moment, but if I'm honest, it wasn't really true. I didn't want one with anyone else other than the vampire at my side.  

"In turn, I haven't had a boyfriend in a long time, ten years to be precise. I know that's not a long time by your standards, but it is to me," I state, moving out of his embrace to go and sit on the couch, with him following me.

"So, who was he then, tell me about him," he asks.

"His name was Joey, and I met him when I'd just begun my training to become a punisher. He was a little put off by it at first, my career choice, but he got his head around it in the end. Or so I thought. You know how some people think where us punishers are concerned," I explain, watching him nod immediately.

"Yes, I do know of the various stereotypes punishers are often subjected to," he interjects with. Common belief is that we're all violent meat heads with no brains and all brawn, and that just because of our job, they think we'll beat down people at the drop of a hat outside of work, too. They don't use their brains and actually look up our jobs at all, and a whole host of information about the punishment enforcement vocation can be readily found online. If they did look, they'd see that public brawling is something we can be disciplined over and punished for ourselves, just as much as the next person.

"Well, Joey was much the same until he saw that underneath the hard exterior and the fact I was training to do such a barbaric job really didn't stop me being a nice and good person. I explained it was doing this that would keep me on the straight and narrow and I was right. He only stuck around for a year though, until he told me that my job was what caused our demise. That wasn't fully true, he was one of these men who listened to his mother too much, and she gave him a lot of shit for being in a relationship with me. Apparently, I brought shame to the family, so I had to go in his mind. That was okay though, because his best friend Ed had begun giving me the attention Joey was failing to by the time we broke up. I didn't cheat on him or anything, but four hours after he finished with me, I was in bed with Ed," I confess, making Angel laugh.

"You don't waste your time, do you?" he exclaims through his laughter.

"No, I absolutely don't. Nothing really came of me and Ed sleeping together, though. We had casual sex for about a year until I started seeing a girl called Debbie, and then she turned out to be a crazy whack job. She's the one who did this, so I beat her ass and told her never, ever to come near me again," I say while gesturing to the scars on my chest. "She was drunk and attacked me with a broken bottle because she was convinced that I'd been stealing from her. In return, I broke her nose and about three of her fingers before I threw her out of my apartment and never saw her again." I then add, while Angel trails his fingers over the marks left there. Of course, he's noticed them before back when he was a detainee and I was his punisher. How things have changed in the space of four months.

"You also don't take any crap from people either. This makes me wonder why you entertained the shit Katya was giving you even for a moment," he ponders, while I move to rest my head on his lap, stretching my legs out along the couch.

"I was trying to take my mind off you, but even if it hadn't been you who I was looking at up on the balcony before it all kicked off, and even if what followed hadn't happened, I'd have still kicked her to the curb for being possessive when we weren't even in a relationship. I made that very clear as well. Thankfully, I don't have that to worry about any longer," I tell him, reaching up to stroke his cheek.

"Oh, I can be possessive, but I'm not jealous and I'll always trust you, unlike Katya, who didn't. I just won't trust anyone else who might be checking you out. I don't like sharing my toys, and I know there will be plenty of vampires out there who'll expect me to share you with them. I know I said to you I didn't believe in monogamy, but I also said that was unless I met someone who was worthy of it, you're definitely worthy of it," he says, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

"In turn I also believe in being faithful to someone who makes me want just that, them and only them, and you do. I also get the feeling you're mature enough to understand that looking is just looking, it doesn't mean I'm about to go off and cheat," I explain, something that Katya seemed to have firmly stuck in her mind. I pity the next poor soul who she gets her possessive claws into.

"Of course, I am a hundred and thirty-six years old, after all. If I'm not mature enough to realise that at the age I am now, then I never will be!" he exclaims, laughing a little.

"Have you ever had to deal with a jealous girl throwing accusations at you?" I ask.

"I had plenty of them, but they were all justified. As a human, I wasn't as well behaved as you. The lines of me finishing with one woman and taking up with another were always a little blurred. I was a man whore, basically. When I met Luisa, I was actually seeing someone else, and had been for a while, but to be honest I wasn't faithful to her at all. I was to Luisa, though. I never cheated on her in the two years we were together. Mainly because she’d have probably killed me for it. All the rest, well I was bad. Very bad.” At least he has the grace to look a little ashamed.

"So, I'm not only the first woman you're in a relationship with as a vampire, but only the second you've ever been concerned about being faithful to. I can't help but feel a little proud of that,” I smile, stroking his chest. Hmm, all this talk of relationships and faithfulness has my mind turning to many sexual thoughts. I'm going to make him wait, though. He's not getting into my underwear that easily. Suddenly, he begins to smile at me, and in a way that shows he's cottoned on to what I'm thinking. "You're still not getting any.”  

"Are you really sure about that?" He teases, running a finger down the centre of my body from the middle of my ribcage, slowly down to my belly button while leaning down to kiss my stomach. Just that one slow movement of his finger across my skin made my insides feel like they're melting.

"Positive," I reply with a wink before sitting up to kiss him. That kiss though, well it does nothing to calm either of us down again, with me moving to sit astride him as our kiss deepens, his hands pressing to the base of my back and running up slowly and deliciously. Damnit, I could tear his clothes off right now, but no. He will wait. He will.

Moving his mouth to my neck, he hums a soft groan. "Are completely, positively and totally sure?" I nod in confirmation, bringing my mouth back to his. “There is one way... that we could enjoy ourselves... without actually... having sex.” he offers, his words punctuated with further kisses to my neck.

"What did you have in mind?"  

"Why don't I just show you, and then if you don't like it, feel free to stop me?" I guess there's nothing wrong with that, but it all depends on what his intentions are. I suppose I only have one way to find out.

"Alright.” He moves, seating me on the couch, placing himself before me, kneeling on the floor, running his hands down my legs, before starting to undo my jeans, pulling them off. His mouth then begins to travel in slow, sumptuous tease up my inner thigh, my nerves bouncing as I become engulfed in anticipation.  

His lips are cool, but the kisses blaze hot, his thumbs hooking beneath my undies and removing those as well. A little growl of want echoes his throat, seeing me so intimately for the first time, spreading my thighs, his pupils becoming dilated, his mouth moving to spread the same magmatic kisses down my other thigh, his cool breath fluttering over my skin, the excitement of the moment making his body respond as he begins to breathe again, as vampires often do in such circumstances.

His beard feels soft and tickly against my skin, his mouth nearing the junction of my thighs, keeping me teetering in anticipation for a few moments, before his lips press a kiss to my pubic mound, once, twice, lowering, the cool wet of his tongue skimming a lick at my folds. My hips jolt, Angel rumbling a quiet chuckle, doing it again, before he dives right in, his tongue pressing to me, gilding me in a long, slow, flat lick.  

My mouth drops open upon a soft moan, his repetition causing me to hold my breath, my cunt beginning to tingle with arousal, his tongue swirling at my opening until I remember to breathe, panting, my eyes closing as I moan again, feeling myself becoming dewy. A long swipe brings the very tip of his tongue right to where I’m craving it, nudging at my clit before flicking softly over it, stopping to suck, his cheeks hollowing, his hands wrapping around my thighs and softly gripping as I rest my feet upon his broad back.  

My mouth is literally hanging open, hardly able to believe he's only just started going down on me and it feels this good already. Running my hands through his silky hair, I begin moaning loudly, unashamedly, each ministration of his mouth making my body shiver and shake. He's damned thorough with his tongue, making sure it slithers across every single millimetre of hot, pink flesh. Oh my god, he’s got me so fucking wet!

He emerges, looking very pleased with himself. “So,” he begins, leaning to kiss me. “Want me to stop?”

"No!” I cry breathlessly.

"I didn't think you would," he chuckles, obviously very confident in his capabilities. He really has no reason not to be either.

"Not when you've made me this wet," I purr, rubbing my fingers between my legs and then sliding two into his mouth. “Ouch!” I exclaim, when after his fangs have shot, one grazing my knuckle.

"Sorry, don’t worry, I’ll keep ‘em away from right here," he says, making them recede back up into his gums again while his thumb strokes over my clit, kissing me once more on the mouth before his travels back down my body and continues to give me the most remarkably potent pleasure I've ever felt. Oh my fucking god, he’s so good!

I don't think it can get much better, until he demonstrates just how fast he can use his tongue, resuming the soft beat he flicks at my clit with, sucking on it, continuing licking, going faster... and faster... oh my life, how is he real... and faster... and, oh... faster. Imagine if a vibrator was made of soft, wet flesh instead of hard plastic or silicone. That’s how fucking fast I’m talking. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.  

He has me wailing in bliss as I shake against his mouth, my thighs brushing his face, absolutely drowning in utter bliss. To my pleasant and almost disbelieving surprise, the pleasure I'm having bestowed on me by such a talented vampire only intensifies, his tongue working more thoroughly and quickly with every movement as I feel him sliding two fingers inside me, sating my desire to be internally gratified with something.  

My mind actually begins to wander, pondering if I have anything silver in the house (most of my jewellery is gold apart from a few pairs of earrings and some bracelets) because I want him so desperately right now. My mind jolts back out of my thoughts over necessary sexual restraints when I feel his fingers push firmly and precisely within me, and cause me to literally howl with the tingles that erupt from such touch. That wasn’t even on my g spot, that was somewhere else entirely, and... how does he know?!  

"Oh...oh fuck! Oh!" I moan breathlessly, my voice pinched and high with the pleasure radiating through me forcefully, my legs shaking uncontrollably as I can feel an orgasm beginning to build rapidly. My nails dig into the back of his neck and my mouth opens to let a hollering yell out when I cum quick and hard. “Oh my fucking god, Angel! How are you that good?”

He grins at me, kissing my slit. “I’ve had lots of practice,” he begins, moving those kisses to the side of my thigh, his fingers still trawling my tender walls, but gently. “And if you think I don’t know where every single last nerve ending in a pussy is at a hundred and thirty-six years old, well, you’re kidding yourself.”  

“Yeah! You pressed against places not even I knew about!” I cry, making him laugh.  

“I’ll show you a few more, too. Like here.”

Immediately, my hips jump.

“And here.”

“Oh my god!”

“And...” His fingertips circle around, my body convulsing when he presses. “Here?”

“Yes, right there!”

He hums a chuckle, tongue skating over my clit again. Wait... he’s not finished? With that newly discovered spot right up deep inside me stroked by crooked fingers, his tongue continues to lay licks over my sensitive little bud, softly at first, before he increases the pressure and speed, having me crying out again in no time. This time, when it hits me, he wraps my clit in the wetness of his lips, sucking my release from me as I undulate against his face, his groans sending trembles through me, my pussy absolutely soaking.  

“I feel like Spiderman, look at that shit!” he exclaims, pulling his fingers from me, a sparkling stream of wetness still connecting us. “When’s it gonna break?” he muses, moving his hand slowly, laughing before finally, it snaps. “Ping!” he announces, sucking the thick coating of my wetness from his fingers, while I laugh in hysterics.  

“I think I need a very big drink after that, geez!” I pant, Angel shaking his head.  

“You’re under the assumption I’m finished. I’m not.”  

What?

He laughs, reaching to close my open mouth. “I’ll be down here a while yet.” And he is, to the tune of me reaching swelteringly intense orgasms a total of five times, until I physically have to pull his head back up from between my legs again.

"You're too good at that, seriously!" I exclaim, kissing him.

He grins against my lips. "Just wait until I fuck you." We fall into heated kisses, his body pressed between my legs as he leans against me, his cock like iron at my hip. “Give me a minute, I just gotta... yeah.” He vanishes in an instant, the bathroom door closing behind him, while I stand on shaky legs, grabbing a handful of tissues to dry off my crotch, which is akin to Niagra fucking falls right now.  

Turning back to the couch, I giggle a little embarrassedly at the small damp patch I’ve left behind, wondering why he’s shot into the bathroom, until I physically feel it. I can feel his arousal pouring out of him in waves through our blood tie, and I work out that what he's just done to me has obviously excited him to a level beyond his comfort, so he's had to go relieve himself. I go and dispose of the tissues in the kitchen, meeting him on his way back from the bathroom.

"Better now?" I inquire.

"Yeah. Too much pent-up frustration, and it needed an immediate outlet, so I chose my hand," he replies, putting his arms around me and kissing the top of my head while I laugh. After our little sexual interlude, we spend the rest of the evening just lying on the couch talking in each other's arms, not moving until dawn is almost upon us, forcing him to leave.

"I'll call you at about 1am tomorrow when I'm finished at work. You'll be on a break around then, won't you?" he asks, standing in my arms, kissing me on the doorstep. I don’t want him to leave! I’m not gonna be that chick, though, the needy one who can’t cope being away from her boyfriend.

"Yeah, I should be, our break times aren't set in stone though, so if I don't answer I'll call you back when I can talk," I reply, rubbing my nose against the end of his and watching him smile.

"Okay. Goodnight, my beautiful woman, I love you.”

"Goodnight, gorgeous. Sleep well." I coo softly, kissing him again before he turns and leaves. Shutting the front door, I lean back against it, actually sliding down until I'm sitting on the floor, squeaking with joy while frantically flapping my hands around excitedly. He's gorgeous, he loves me, he's attentive, he's romantic and god damnit, his tongue moves faster than your average tornado. After being in a relationship for only twenty-four hours with my vampire, I cannot remember a time I was happier romantically than I am now.  

That's always the way when you get with someone you really, really like, isn't it?

[mangodestroyer]

Alright, I'm a few semesters away from earning my BS. I started this journey at the age of 19, fresh out of high school. It's been a fucking mess. Dropping out my very first semester because campus life was hard on me and I had no fucking idea what I was doing, taking a medical leave during said semester because of mental health, working my first retail job (and first job ever) soon after, watching a pandemic start and quitting my job soon after to go back to school while still living at home (mandatory online cause of pandemic), went back to campus during a pandemic where there were lots of restrictions, while still living at home (understandable, but why not continue online?), switching my major a few times, picking up my second job ever (retail again) while going to school and deciding to go back to online learning because life happened (so switching to a school with that option), switching my major a few times before finally settling on mathematics (yes, I've actually stuck with it for a while now), and taking a year break from school before just now coming back to it. And at this point, just wanting to power through the rest of my degree so I can FINALLY have it (it's been four years now).

In other words, I became the exact type of college student I swore I'd never be when I was in middle school/high school.

And you know what? I really wish someone would have seen how grossly unprepared I was in high school and intervened. Told me, in a kind way, to hold off and get some life experience before making such a commitment. Those scholarships and financial aid could have waited. I think I would have greatly benefited from taking a year or two off from school and working a shitty retail job fresh out of high school. I needed to shadow some college classes and do so much more college prep. Look at what these majors actually entail. Learn what it's like to have some financial responsibilities (nothing extreme like moving out into an apartment, but rather paying a small amount of rent every month, buying my own groceries, getting a credit card and learning about credit, etc.) You know, actually be taught some adult things instead of just being expected to learn them on my own? Well, some parents actually are on their kids about these things. Mine weren't/aren't. And it's tough learning it all on your own, so be grateful for your annoying ass parents getting on you about this shit all the time.

And yeah, I bet your ass the retail job on its own would have been good motivation for me to tough it out at that school I dropped out of in my first semester. In hindsight, being a freshman at that school, living on campus, seems like such a pampered life compared to two years in retail. And more fulfilling! Needless to say, I would be delighted to go back for grad school and I can't imagine taking it for granted! As much as I hate retail, and the past four years of my life, my social skills have improved so much and I have a much better idea of what I'm doing. A second shot at my dream school is now something I realize isn't something I can just waltz right into, and quite frankly, it just sounds like it will be a lot more fun in my mid-20's than it was as a teen.

[meewble]

July 14th 2024 10:32 PM

july!! i've got so much work to do + a lot of catching up. had an awful awful headache and stomachache last night but its over now :^)

i've gotta stay up late tomorrow again to get some work done and i think i'll have to ask for extensions on my work which kind of stinks because i really dislike how it makes work pile on me.

recently i've been worried a lot about being good enough for art school/the industry in general. i mean no matter what its going to be difficult and competitive, but my worst nightmare has to be giving up a career in the arts for 'stability' / a passionless life. if i'm going to be broke i at least want to be broke and happy rather than broke and miserable because even normal jobs pay shitty now :\

summer school ends on august 12 so i've got a lot to do now that i'm past midterms, i really want my grades this time around to be as good as they can be because i'm quite nervous that otherwise i wont be successful. being medicated helps a lot with working but thats really only half the battle, time management is still very difficult for me regardless of how many ssris i take T_T

one of my friends is also leaving the country and i'm really sad about it, most of my friends are online and i really don't want to have another join the fray but what can you do. what matters is staying in contact.

in more positive news my grandmother's here for a visit! she's staying until january before returning to cuba and the plan is for me to go back with her and stay for a couple of weeks! i haven't been in a while and honestly none of the beaches here compare so itd be lovely to go back. i miss the ocean. the stray animals are really sweet too so i'll have to pack treats.

its my boyfriend and i's 3 year anniversary in a couple hours! i honestly can't believe my first relationship is lasting this long and i hope it lasts forever, he's my favourite person and i couldn't see my life without him. even though i can hug him or see him infront of me this year too i know that the waiting will pay off.

the fourth image here is actually the stuff my roommate brought me from japan! he's honestly so awesome and sweet im so happy he brought me stuff + stuff i LIKE TOO like whaat omfg anyways this week is going to be so so so busy i have several assignments i need to finish asap AND im going gift shopping for my friend's bday LOL at least we'll both be legal so we can go drinking signing off for tonight (‘-‘*ゞ

[chris24robin]

why are you leaving new orleans? one of my fondest memories of that place was happening upon a show of yours :(

before i say any of this, i want to establish that i lived 32 of my 36 years in the new orleans metro area. i worked as a drag, burlesque, and cabaret performer in the city from january 2015 until a week and a half ago, and it was my full time career from january 2017 until november 2022. i have a deep love and gratitude for both the city and its nightlife industry.

but it doesn't feel like home anymore, and it's dying.

when i moved back to new orleans in 2014, it was, in my opinion, the last real refuge of bohemian life in the u.s. rent was quite inexpensive, and there was a both a rich cultural legacy and a vibrant creative scene.

today, the city's infrastructure is still horrifically unprepared for the climate apocalypse we can all feel coming, while the local government has no interest in updating/upgrading anything that doesn't directly cater to The Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler Tourism Experience, at the continuous expense of the people who live and work in the city.

the entertainers, restaurant servers, bartenders, and other hospitality and retail workers who make the city so memorable and magical for the people who visit just won't be able to afford to live there much longer as they are priced out in favor of turning the neighborhoods that don't regularly flood or lose electricity into blocks of overpriced homogenous short term rentals. i think hurricane ida (which was worse than hurricane katrina imo) was a real eye opener on how very much on our/their own the people who live in the new orleans metro area are.

regional politics: the current governor of louisiana is a conservative democrat who (mostly) had the backs of the lgbtq+ people in the state, even as his personal pro-life politics and the continuous rising tide of anti-black racism made it a dangerous place for a lot of people.

however, there is essentially no chance that any democrat could win the governorship in november. we're looking down the barrel of an extreme right-wing governor riding the coattails of the current moral panic surrounding lgbtq+ people, with republican supermajorities in both legislative houses and a packed conservative court. i would not be surprised if, like florida, texas, and tennessee, there is a blatantly obvious long term goal of making it illegal for lgbtq+ people to exist in public, and the next step is either incarceration or execution, whether we choose to acknowledge the elephant in the room or not.

there are personal and creative reasons, which i won't detail publicly beyond: three years ago i lost personal and professional relationships with people i thought were close friends and collaborators for the high crime of taking the most ethical and principled stance i could in a shitty situation that they themselves fueled. and one day we're going to have to acknowledge that messy, unresolved friend break ups are way more painful and have much longer lasting echoes than romantic break ups.

i felt like there was no longer a place for me in the city to do the creative work i want to do without it being a form of regression bordering on self-harm, and i felt increasingly cynical and bitter, which is not who i want to be. my bookings in new york will likely never compare to the career i had in new orleans pre-covid, but i'd rather indifference to hostility.

i gave myself a solid year of weighing my options before making my final decision. i know the noble idea is to stay and fight for your home, but i'm no longer capable of fighting for a relationship where the other party is never actually going to love me back.

meanwhile, i've had a full time remote job that i quite like for almost a year, so i can live anywhere i choose. and my father, with whom i had an extremely complicated relationship, passed away a year ago september 23, which gave me the space to reexamine exactly what it is i'm hoping to experience in this life.

i want to feel hopeful and inspired again. i want to write stories and music that matter to me. i have not even tried to date or hook up in almost seven years, but i might like to try again some day. and new york seems like a good place to start exploring all of that. if you can make it there, etc.

and if it doesn't work out, i'm only 36. i can go anywhere.

tldr: sometimes you know the party is coming to an end, and you don't want to be the last one there, especially when you're no longer sure if you're actually wanted. but there's a big world out there, and there's a chance you might find what you're looking for if you're courageous enough start the search.

[primalspice]

Ratty - 🚗, 🎮, 📚, 💯, 🚫, 🍎, ❤️, 🖤, 🥯, 🧐, 🤩, 👨,

🔧

🚗 — does your oc have a driver's license? can they drive/operate any automobiles/machinery besides cars?

She has a driver’s license AND she’s forklift certified <3 she doesn’t particularly enjoy driving, though, because no one follows the rules of the road like she does. Shes the only good one everyone else is a fool.

🎮 — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

Her favorite hobbies include building/fixing random shit, listening to music, and crying. She’s never had much time on her hands until very recently, so shes got no idea what to do with herself. I think she should get into art tho. It would free her soul. 

📚 — what level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)?

She didn’t really graduate highschool traditionally bcz she went to the military at 16 but she has the equivalent of like a bachelors or trade school level education ig??? She has much more hands-on experience than things that look good on paper just because of the way that the region zero military tends to run things, which i suppose has its pros and cons (great for doing things efficiently in a factory, NOT great for being the president and making decisions and being diplomatic about your special interest). She has certifications in different areas that she can at least show; power plant operations, nuclear arms safety/handling/exports, aforementioned forklift certification, etc. She’d probably have like a GED and a bachelor’s in engineering if I were to compare her actual schooling to something normal. And just a lot of varied job/trades experiences. 

💯 — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

We dont talk much about the MANY years she lives in an apartment by herself but maybe that's for good reason. r/malelivingspace meme passing.

least expected recreational drug enjoyer bcz shes a timid geek but if she lived in a free and fun world she'd be trying more. she doesnt really tend to have a fun time on alcohol or pills (vague) or shitty region zero weed or even cocaine but she still tries <3 not like she can make her brain much worse than it is

Her eyesight is awful and she's had glasses since she was like 11. she would wear sports goggles before ever trading them out for contacts no matter how annoying they get; she thinks they look good on her (shes right) and is comforted by the fact that they partially hide her face.

🚫  — does your oc drink/smoke? do they do it regularly, or is it more on occasion or for special events?

She drinks recreationally or occasionally smokes (although harder drugs are preferred 😐). If coping counts as a special event then it’s only for special events, but oh how she’s always coping.

🍎 — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?

Harvey was born in the north-east of the region, which is not a particularly citizen-friendly area so much as a space for industry and military operations. Lower-class families such as hers are its major populace. She moved out quite quickly, since she dormed with the military in the (south-eastish) starting at 16 until her early 20s-ish. Once she got a job that wasn’t directly with the military, she moved back to an apartment somewhat near her hometown, but more for convenience than wanting to be near family. she has mixed feelings about her hometown; it's much of what made her into the person she is today with the passions that she has, but theres also a lot of painful memories there. everythings a painful memory tho, isnt it.

❤️ — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

Shockingly she has plenty of positive traits *smiles* she is HARD-WORKING she is HUMBLE she is KNOWLEDGEABLE (bonus: she is cute)

🖤 — has your oc killed or seriously wounded anyone before? have they broken someone's heart and/or broken someone's trust?

Shes not….. Directly killed anyone LOL. Although those who are critical of the things she let slide in terms of nuclear waste production and disposal might say otherwise….. Shes quite traditionally nonviolent and wouldn't really ever fight or hurt someone physically (altho she could probably fair pretty well tbh), not a fan of violence at all she just really enjoys weapons <3 Cognitive dissonance swag. As for broken hearts/trust, not really??? Faust was quite offended when she indirectly let her army get so out of hand that they start sister-killing but thats quite the jump to make. Although she probably shouldve at least condemned it LOL.

🥯 — what does your oc's typical breakfast look like? do they usually eat breakfast?

Shes not a big breakfast-eater because she likes to suffer ig. If left to her own devices she’d probably just have a coffee, but she’d usually get like a bagel or some oatmeal or something pushed on her while working in the capital. 

🧐 — is your oc more logical or emotional?

It’s complicated LOL. shes an ISTJ n all but she also has severe anxiety that dictates every part of her life so I might say shes more emotional. Her fearful loyalty to the status quo and worries life in region zero allow her to make poor decisions even though she knows the outcome might be poorer than if she were to make decisions that were more against-the-grain. She struggles to make decisions that make her uncomfortable or afraid, even if they’re logical.

🤩 — is your oc a planner, or are they more spontaneous in their actions?

She definitely prefers to plan. She enjoys having a routine and likes for life to be mostly predictable. It would make most ppl insane but she’s lucky enough that such a thing works for her. Any sudden deviation from the Usual makes her scream and cry and piss tho

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?

Her immediate family consists of just her, raymond, and their mom and dad. Im sure she has an aunt/uncle or two as well, and some cousins, but not really any that she was particularly close with, especially considering that she was quite distant even from her immediate family. She’s had 3 or so generations of family members living in region zero and Most of them are dysfunctional and cold and working-class so perhaps all this is a curse she was born into. She had to become ok with being alone at a very young age and shes worse off for that <3 Raymond was, of course, who she was closest too but that got taken away pretty quickly. Things aren’t really the same now, even though hes not really dead. 

[url-is-under-construction]

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 ~ 𝐇.𝐋 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Based off the prompt:   “𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭. 𝐖𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬.”

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.7K

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Swearing

𝐒𝐲𝐩𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬: Family always came first to you. That’s why you moved to Tokyo with your baby brother despite being miserable every single day, until you met him.

If NYC was the city that never slept then Tokyo was it’s younger sibling who was constantly trying to outdo the elder child. You ignored your younger brother who sat beside you in the taxi, leaning your head against the window and admiring the bright neon lights that stood out against the black of the sky.

No stars were visible, and the noise of the city was audible from inside the taxi, grinding against your ears. You hated it.

“Y/n.” You yanked my head from the cool glass of the window, leaving it foggy in your absence as Sean gently called your name. “We’re here.”

It was then you noticed the taxi had come to a stop, in front of a small looking building.

“This is it?” You asked, only getting a nod and sigh in response as the two of you exited the small vehicle, him sighing loudly as he picked up the bags.

You approached the door and knocked, waiting impatiently as the city air bit and nipped at your rosy red cheeks and nose.

It opened, revealing the man you recognized to be your father. You took a step back, turning the volume of the music in your ears up and letting Sean do the talking. You observed as their mouths moved, and the door closed on the two of you, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion before relaxing as it opened again.

This time he was fully clothed and a woman quickly scurried out from behind him, not giving any of you a second glance.

You pulled the earbud out, looking between your brother and father.

“Who was that?” You asked, following the two of them into the cramped building.

“A friend.” Your father responded sharply, before going over the ground rules and showing you to your rather small rooms.

The sleep was terrible that night. Unable to get comfortable on the thin mattress, and longing to be back at home in America. After all, you weren’t the child who had screwed up.

                                                  【~~~】

It took about three days for the reality of the situation you were in to settle in.

You were living in Tokyo. And you wouldn’t be returning home any time soon.

It was quite a rude shock when it finally hit you, and that’s when the tears every night started to pay visits.

You sure as hell weren’t the one who had fucked up, destroying not one but two cars, illegally racing and crashing through the frame of a house waiting to be built. No, that was Sean. But as usual you also had to pay for his mistakes and so off to Tokyo you went with him, leaving behind your friends, your family and your car.

It wasn’t like your mother was expecting you to live here forever with Sean. After all you were almost nineteen and very much so capable of making your own decisions.

She had wanted you to go with him for the first month though, not wanting him to be completely alone with no one but your father there for him, and by painting it out to be some exotic holiday she had convinced you to tag along.

It was a mistake.

Sean had started coming home later and later every night, adjusting well to life in the city. You on the other hand, had absolutely no friends, and despised your days with every fiber of your being. You had begun marking days off your calendar, counting down eagerly for the month to be over and for you to return home.

“I hate it here.” You shoveled food into your mouth, standing with your back against the counter of the kitchen as Sean absentmindedly filled a glass of water. “Why did I choose to come with you?”

“How would I know?.” He mumbled under his breath, pulling his phone out of his pocket as it buzzed.

“You know if you hadn’t been so-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” He cut you off, rolling his eyes. “I get enough if that from Mom and Dad. Don’t need it from you too.”

His accent was far stronger than yours, and you mocked him, feeling defeated when he just rolled his eyes and turned back to his phone.

He read whatever was on the screen with a small smile on his face and nosily you leaned over, wanting to get a look.

“Fuck off.” He shoved your shoulder, still smiling.

“What’s got you looking all happy?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

He looked at you, a mischievous smile on his lips as you waited.

“How do you feel about going out tonight?”

                                                 【~~~】

Bodies crammed together in the parking garage, all surrounding the hundreds of cars parked in the lot. The immaculate paint jobs shined in the harsh neon lights, and most of them had their hoods up and their incredible engines on display, leaving your jaw on the ground every time.

You stuck close to Sean and Twinkie, feeling safer with your younger brother and his best friend. You felt intimidated by the gorgeous women who surrounded you, not that you were there to impress anyone. You were there for the cars.

The shitty 1990 Accord you had back in the states was nothing compared to the beasts that were parked in here.

You could feel vibrations in the ground, from the music and cars and it brought a small smile to your face as you walked through the swarm of people.

Sean’s eyes were scanning the crowd intently, clearly searching for someone.

He finally located who he was after and pulled you and Twinkie in the direction, his smile growing.

“There are some people I want you to meet.”

You were introduced to some faces you knew you wouldn’t remember, a gorgeous girl named Neela being one of the few you did.

You didn’t miss the way they looked at each other, or the way her boyfriend would possessively interrupt when you were talking to her, much to her dismay.

“And finally,” Sean said as you approached a man leaning back against his car, a small smirk on his face. “The one and only, Han.”

You flicked your eyes up to meet his, ignoring the way your breath slightly hitched in your throat.

He stuck his hand out to grasp yours, and you gripped it back with the same smirk he was wearing.

“Y/n.” You introduced yourself, not missing the way his eyes slowly traveled up and down your body. “I’m sorry about what my brother did to your car.”

His eyes returned to you, a smile on his face.

“It’s fine. Plenty of others sitting in that garage.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, his smile turning into a shy grin.

“Better keep Sean away from them then.” You teased, turning to your brother only to realize he had left.

You noticed him standing by Neela again, walking around her car while her boyfriend, Takashi, watched intently from afar.

“He’s in love. Has been since he saw her.” Han rolled his eyes, popping a chip into his mouth.

“Hard to see why he wouldn’t be.” You said. “She’s beautiful. Kind. Into cars.”

“And what about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you kind? Into cars?” He asked, following your eyes to Sean and Neela.

“You forgot beautiful.” You said with a small laugh as you moved to stand next to him, leaning against the Mazda RX-7 behind you. You were praying to god it was his car, otherwise the lucky owner would probably get very, very pissed.

“Nah.” He turned his head and looked down at you. “Don’t need to ask you that to figure it out.”

A blush crept into your cheeks and you couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on your face.

“Well, usually when someone is kind they don’t run around telling others about it.” Your eyes met his again. “And I love cars.”

He grinned at you, and you turned your head to look back at Sean.

A part of you wanted to play hard to get, but the other part knew that even after only five seconds of talking to this man you were fucking done for and he knew that as well.

“And what about you?” You copied his earlier words, elaborating when you saw his confused face. “Are you kind? Into cars? Beautiful?”

“Beautiful?” He scoffed. “Sweetheart I’m a damn model.”

You let out a laugh, feeling yourself relax.

“I was kind enough to not beat your brother to death after he totaled my car.” Han joked. “And as for cars-” He gestured to the garage, full of stunning, high performance cars capable of stealing your heart in a matter of seconds. “-I probably wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like them.”

“Yeah I suppose that was obvious.” You let out a content sigh. This was the first time you had forgotten about your little countdown, and also the longest conversation you had had with someone who you weren’t related to.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, admiring the cars that surrounded you for a few minutes before he turned back to you again.

“What are you doing here Y/n?”

Your head turned to his, your eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Oh come on, you think Sean doesn’t gush about his amazing older sister every chance he gets?” Han rolled his eyes at you like you were stupid.

“No. I find that very hard to believe.” You let out a small laugh. “And you still haven’t answered my question.”

“Sean told me that you were eighteen, turning nineteen in a few months time. No one is forcing you to be here, in Japan.” Han explained, his dark eyes staring into yours. “And yet here you are. Living in Tokyo, miserable, because your delinquent brother couldn’t stay out of trouble in the states. Why?”

Your mouth opened, then closed, then fell open again. You turned your head away from the piercing dark eyes and glanced at your brother.

“Because that guy who destroyed your car is my baby brother. He’s the closest family I’ve got.” You watched Sean as he spoke to Neela, hearts in his eyes. “Family stick together Han. I couldn’t let him just up and leave to a brand new country, with no one but our father there for him.”

Han watched the way you spoke, feeling a warmth across his chest.

“It’s my job to protect him and be there for him, and I don’t care if I’m miserable the whole time I’m doing it. I’m going to be there.”

His jaw almost dropped as your words hit him like bricks.

“You know,” He started. “You remind me of someone I used to go way back with.”

You scoffed light-heartedly.

“How old are you?”

He just grinned. “Too old for you.”

“Well luckily for you, my age is too young for me.” You said. Despite your tone being confident your body was completely betraying you, bracing itself for rejection.

Instead he just laughed and ran a hand through his hair.

Both of your heads snapped to the right as someone called his name, and you felt your heart fall when you realized that he was probably going to leave.

He sent a quick wave to the person who called out and pushed himself off the Mazda, gazing down at you.

“You know,” He started, a shy smile creeping onto his face. “If you ever get bored during the day you should come by the garage. I think I could make it worth your time.”

You let out a small laugh.

“We’ll see.”

                                                【~~~】

“You made friends pretty fast.” Sean said teasingly as you entered the kitchen, your hair sticking up in all kinds of directions.

“Yeah and so did you apparently.” You sent a sarcastic smile back in his direction. “Pity she’s taken.”

The smile on his face dropped instantly and he went back to his breakfast, ignoring you.

After a few minutes of silence between the two of you he spoke up again.

“So are you gonna?”

You looked up from your phone and coffee, furrowing your brows.

“Am I gonna what?”

“Swing by Han’s garage?” He had a knowing smirk on his face. “He told me all about your little conversation.”

You just shrugged casually, not wanting to let him know how you really felt inside.

“Maybe, if I have the time.”

“All you have here is time.” He scoffed. “All you’ve done for the past few days is buy food, eat it, then sleep. You may as well.”

You let out a sigh and finished what was left of your drink.

“Yeah, and for your information Sean, it’s been great.”

“You know you wanna Y/n.” He teased, a grin on his face.

“How about this,” You started. “Let me know next time you head over there. Maybe I’ll tag along.”

“Sounds good to me.” Sean said. “Especially given that I’ll be there tonight.”

Your cool demeanor dropped and your eyes widened.

“Tonight?”

“That’s what I said.” He grinned. “I’ll be sure to let him know he can look forward to seeing you there with me.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill you.” You whispered under your breath.

He just shrugged his shoulders.

“You’d be doing me a favor if it meant I’d never have to see your gross face again.”

“What are you? Five?” You asked.

“I’d say that’s about right.”

You just scoffed at him, heading back to your room.

Not that you’d ever admit it to Sean, but you were glad that he’d be heading over to the garage tonight.

You would definitely rather die than tell him that though.

                                               【~~~】

You shut the car door behind you and stepped out into the cool evening air.

Sean had come by to pick you up after he had finished school, and you had been anxiously waiting all day.

Now you were finally here, and still very, very anxious.

“This doesn’t look like a garage to me.” You furrowed your brows, looking out at the water.

“That’s because it’s in there.” Sean pointed to the large brick building. “We’re gonna stay out the front, this is where Han’s been teaching me how to drift.”

“Oh.” You managed to get out, following your baby brother to a group of people who were all sitting down by stacks of tires.

All four faces were familiar, but you only remembered the names of two of them.

“Y/n.” Han greeted you, nodding his head with a smile as he casually held the bottle in his hand.

“Hi.” You smiled back at him, your nerves starting to melt away.

Sean gestured to the empty seat beside Han, and you took it.

The others tossed you friendly smiles which you returned, and Han looked up at Sean.

“Go get your sister a drink.” He said.

Sean did as he was asked, reaching into the cooler that had been brought along and handing you a bottle of something.

“Are you gonna have one?” You asked your brother as you opened it and took a small sip.

“Can’t drink and drive now, can I?” He smirked, digging his keys out of his pocket and heading back towards the Evo.

“Well that’s a first.” You scoffed, and you heard Han let out a small laugh beside you.

“I’m guessing the cowboy doesn’t wanna fuck up another one of Han’s cars.” Twinkie said, watching Sean as his climbed into the car and started it.

You looked over at Han.

“That’s your car?”

“Yep.” He nodded proudly, watching Sean as he started his usual route around the dock.

“How many more have you got hiding in that garage of yours?” You asked with a small laugh.

“You’ll have to come see for yourself.” He shrugged.

“Maybe.” You shrugged as well, missing the way Twinkie and the others looked back and forth at each other.

“You know,” Han started. “If you haven’t got any other plans tonight, I could take you out for a drive, grab some food. Maybe come back to the garage when everyone’s gone.” He said the last part quietly enough for only you to hear.

You looked over to Sean in the car, able to make out his face of concentration despite how far away you were from him. He wouldn’t miss you for one night.

“When do we leave?” You asked with a smile.

He grinned with a surprised laugh, and you could tell he had been expecting you to say no.

“Now, if that works for you.”

You looked back at Sean, wincing at the sound of the tires screaming against the road.

“Sounds good.”

                                              【~~~】

The two of you had ended up getting cheap food from a side-of-the-road vendor, eating in silence in the car before making small talk about everything, from your life back in America to what kind of animals you thought you could take on in a fight.

You were laughing when you stumbled out of the RX-7 and into the cool night air, following Han into the garage which wasn’t that much warmer.

You didn’t know what you had expected when you walked into the garage, but it definitely wasn’t what you saw.

Han gestured for you to follow him up some stairs to an open second story, furnished with a small kitchen, table and chair, and living area.

“Wow.” You mumbled under your breath, realizing he must have some serious money to be able to afford all of this. Not to mention the cars in there, some of which cost more than your house, car and life savings combined.

“It’s my pride and joy.” He pointed towards the sofa, and you took a seat, sinking in to the plush material as he opened the fridge and called out to you. “You want a drink?”

“Yeah thanks.” You smiled, and he pulled out two of the same bottles you had been drinking from earlier.

He took a seat beside you, on the opposite edge of the relatively small sofa, and the two of you sat in silence for a moment, reflecting on your night, before you spoke up.

“Thank you.” You said quietly, and he looked at you in confusion. “For what you’re doing for Sean, I mean.”

“It’s not a problem.” He brushed it off. “He’s a good kid, the kinda person I want to be around.”

You let out a scoff.

“Well I wouldn’t go that far.”

He chuckled at you.

“Thank you.” He said, and this time it was your turn to be confused. “You might not realize it. but coming out here with Sean has made it so much easier for him. He probably won’t ever tell you, but he’s grateful as hell and crazy lucky to have you in his life.”

A small blush crept up onto your cheeks, and you almost didn’t notice as he crept closer towards you. Almost.

“Yeah well he’s also crazy lucky to have met you.” You said quietly, your eyes meeting his as the two of you drew closer and closer. “I am too.” You whispered.

“And why’s that?” He asked, his tone matching yours, and you swore the room got hotter by about twenty degrees.

“You’re kind,” You started, remembering back to last night when you met him. “Into cars.” You continued, and he nodded along, agreeing with you.

“You forgot beautiful.” He whispered, just inches from your face now, and you smiled cheekily.

“You’re a damn model sweetheart.”

He grinned, his eyes flicking down to your lips briefly and before you could realize what was happening his lips were on yours.

Your hands instinctively went to his hair, pulling him closer to you as you laid down flat on your back, feeling his hands roam up and down your body.

You felt butterflies erupt in your chest as your hands wandered from the back of his head, and so did your mind.

Sean’s face flashed in your mind and you inhaled sharply, pushing Han off of you and sitting up, breathing heavily.

“Shit.” You hissed, moving to the edge of the sofa and holding your head in your hands. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“What? What’s wrong?” Han asked, also breathing heavily. His tone sounded confused, and guilt racked through your body. “I’m sorry.” His voice changed to apologetic. “I thought you wanted to.”

“I do.” You whined. “I want to, but I can’t. We can’t do this.”

“Why not?” He asked, placing a hand on your thigh.

“Sean.” You turned to look him in the eyes, and his face dropped.

“Shit.” He said.

“Shit.” You agreed.

The two of you sat in silence, still trying to catch your breaths, and trying to think of a way to fix the now incredibly awkward situation.

“I think I should leave.” You said, pushing yourself up off the sofa.

“Y/n don’t go.” Han protested. “It’s the middle of the night and you’ve been drinking. Neither of us can drive and I’m not going to let you walk home or get into a taxi with some creep.”

You let out a sigh, not letting him see how the fact that he cared that much made you all warm and fuzzy inside, or how the fact that it made you all warm and fuzzy inside made you want to gag.

“What do I do then?” You asked.

“Take my bed.” He nodded towards a door that you were assuming led to his bedroom. “I’ll take the sofa.”

“No way.” You protested. “This is your home Han, you aren’t sleeping on that tiny ass sofa. I can, it’s no problem.”

His eyes looked like he wanted to argue, but he kept his mouth shut.

“Ok. I’ll go grab you some blankets.”

“Thanks.” You smiled, laying down on the sofa.

It was undeniably comfortable, and you let your eyes close before Han returned, vaguely feeling him place a thick blanket over the top of you before pressing a quick kiss to your forehead, leaving you with butterflies.

Your mind started to slip out of consciousness, and you let it, forgetting about how you were sleeping in Han’s garage, and planning on being out of there before he woke up the next morning.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Just a fun little something that took me about a week to finish writing! Hope you like it and requests are most certainly open <3

If anyone would like to be on the tag list for part 2, please let me know!

[ijwrsmff]

Hello there

This one is a bit lengthy but can i please get headcanons of the straw hats reaction to an admiral reader(gender neutral please) who quits the marine to join them, and is at first is distrusted but does something to gain theirs trust

I hope it's not too much trouble

It's no trouble at all! I really like this idea, it was a ton of fun to write! I hope you enjoy it ^^

Luffy:

He found you during a fight with the marines

He noticed...you were so much stronger than the marines you were fighting with

Maybe not strong in comparison to Luffy...but he was extremely powerful so comparing to him isn’t fair

He saw you deal what should have been a finishing blow to his crewmates…

But for some reason you never hit them hard enough to kill them

Down them, sure...but never kill

He makes quick work of the other marines, and approaches you with a smile

“Join my crew!”

You looked at him baffled

“Quit the marines and throw away all my hard work to become an admiral because some...kid thinks I would be a good match for his crew? No thanks.”

Luffy left it at that, but knew he’d see you again soon

You encountered him once more at a nearby island

“Is...is that offer still on the table?”

He grinned wide and pulled you by your hand to his ship

He couldn’t put his finger on it...but something was special about you

He just knew the crew would love you

After they get over their initial distrust that is

But Luffy? He trusted you already

No hesitation, he knew you had a good heart and that’s what really mattered

Zoro:

He didn’t trust you...at all

He would go silent when you talked to him, giving you the silent treatment

He didn’t trust the marines...how was he supposed to know you weren’t there as a spy?

You tried to talk to him a couple times...but he just pretended he was sleeping

One day, he was up in the crow’s nest training and you walked in

“Mind if we spar? It’s been a while since I was able to.”

Since you left the marines

He huffed but gave a firm “sure”

He didn’t go easy on you, which surprised him when you handled yourself fairly well

You parried his attacks, and gave a few good jabs of your own

He respected your strength

He still won...but he expected to beat you within seconds

Not minutes, nearly half an hour of sparring

From then on, he’ll make small talk with you

Every once in a while he’ll go to take a nap and he’ll pull you down to lay beside him

He also sits next to you at the dinner table, even helping you fend off Luffy when he tries to steal your food

Overall...he respected strength. And if Luffy chose you...you were here to stay

Once he starts to trust you, he’ll protect you at all costs

Nami:

She trusts Luffy’s decision...but that doesn't mean she has to trust YOU

She won’t go out of her way to be mean...but she won’t help you if it means bending over backwards

She interrogates you, wanting to know why Luffy had chosen you

After days of interrogation on and off...she thinks she sees why

You were unhappy in the marines

Sure...you managed to become an admiral...but the happiness you had hoped to feel just wasn’t there

She discovered that in the short time you’ve been on this ship, you’ve felt happier than you ever did in the marines

She’ll be nicer after that, slowly building up her trust in you

“Want me to show you how I chart the islands we go to?”

Even if cartography wasn’t your thing, you figured it would help get you closer to Nami

After that, you would spend hours upon hours with Nami

She can be very...very protective

So once she trusts you, any comments about you that weren’t warranted she’d defend you

She wants to get closer to you, and spends the majority of her time with you

Either sitting on the deck or working on her maps

She even tells Sanji off if he starts to bother you, making the hearts in his eyes break

She’ll protect you...and she knows in her heart you’d protect her too

Usopp:

He is so...so scared of you at first

You were an ADMIRAL

How could you just give up that position to join a crew?

Doesn’t trust you for a good long while

He’s convinced you’re a spy

He lets his imagination get to him, and that drives a wedge between you two

You don’t blame him...the situation is sketchy, but you were genuine

You would spend all the time needed to get the crew to trust you

After only being with them a short period of time...you trusted them with your life

And that’s never happened before

In the marines...people wouldn’t go out of their way to save another if it meant getting hurt in the process

During battle, you stepped in front of Usopp and took a harsh blow, forming a long slash across your chest

After that...he’s significantly nicer to you

He visits you in the infirmary and looks...troubled

“What’s wrong Usopp?” You give him a concerned look

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you save me...you’re hurt now. Because of me.”

You smiled at him...so he did care

This was a good first step

Maybe eventually you can become even closer

Sanji:

He’s reluctant to trust you at first, but Luffy seems to see something in you…

Just like he saw something in him

So he tries to get closer to you, even going so far as to not flirt with you

Not until he got to know you better

The first time he really began to see the trust between you building was a regular day

Nothing particularly special about it, except you went into the kitchen while he was cooking

“Mind if I help?” It was your attempt to get closer to him

“Of course! Here, I need this mixed.”

You cooked together in relative silence, small talking every once in a while

Overall it was...nice

It was a bonding experience and he cherished it

That day, he sat next to you at the dinner table

You gave him a wide smile, which he returned

He would defend you to anyone who spoke ill of you after that

He could be quite protective, and it showed

Especially to Zoro, who made comments about your being a spy (which only made Usopp and Chopper panic more about the situation)

“Hey marimo! They don’t deserve the bullshit you’re throwing at them. Back off.”

“What are you gonna do about it, shitty cook?” A smirk formed on Zoro’s face

Oh dear...it looks like they’re fighting again

You went to speak up, but Nami stopped you

“They get like this sometimes. Though it’s impressive how quick Sanji was to take the bait this time...I think he likes you.” She gives you a wink and your face flushes

Who knows what the future will bring...all you know? Is that you made the right choice to join this crew

Chopper:

He wants to trust you...he really does

But the nagging fear of you hurting his crew is at the back of him mind

He avoids you, not wanting to risk getting hurt

Once you get injured in battle...he realizes how unfair it was that he did so

“I’m sorry y/n...you’re hurt. Please follow me to the infirmary.”

He keeps it relatively formal, only talking when he needed to do something to check on you

“Would you...come back in a couple days so I can check on the wound and how it’s healing?”

You gave him a smile “yes doctor! Thank you!”

“Hehe you don’t have to thank me I don’t deserve your thanks I was just doing what I’d do for any of our crew!” He swayed back and forth, his paws on his face as he smiled

You could swear you saw flowers around him…

After that, he invited you to play games with him, Usopp, and Luffy

While Usopp was still reluctant, Luffy was 100% on board

“Come on y/n! Play with us!” Chopper smiled up at you and...well...there’s no way you could say no to his adorable face

So you joined in

It was fun...more fun than you thought possible to have

You laughed as Chopper tagged you, and you spun around picking him up in a hug

“Chopper...thank you.”

He smiled and laughed, “for what? Tagging you?”

You shook your head, putting him down

“No...for being a good friend.”

And he was, he was your best friend. You grew closer to him in the days following and you were certain you made the right decision

Robin:

She knows what it’s like to not be trusted by the crew initially...but at least with her it was one pirate to another

You were a marine

And not just a marine...but an admiral

She is reluctant to trust you, but will give you the benefit of the doubt

She spends a lot of time with you, gauging if you’re a threat to her crew or not

She would sacrifice herself for any one of them...you’re no exception

She almost thinks its her JOB to determine if you’re a threat or not

It wasn’t until your first battle together that she finds she trusts you

You give her a look, and she knows to use her devil’s fruit

You both coordinate perfectly together, and it shows your trust

She has only battled so flawlessly with her crew...which means you’re entirely one of them now

She will defend you from that fight forward, and stands up for you when the others express their doubts

“Y/n? Would you like to read with me?” She pats the spot next to her and smiled at you

“Of course! What are we reading today?”

The two of you grow closer and closer, spending hours upon hours just...enjoying each other’s company

She looks at your smile and knows...she would do anything to keep that happy smile on your face

Franky:

He doesn’t trust you...but he doesn’t...NOT trust you

He’s reluctant to get close, but finds it’s really easy with you

He’s newer to the crew, but he trusts Luffy’s judgement

So he doesn’t have any reason not to give you a chance

He’ll spend time with you, requesting you sit in his workroom as he works on a specialized weapon for you

Over that time, you make a lot of small talk

It brings you closer together

“Y/n! What do you think?” He’ll say holding up your now finished weapon “Pretty super, right? Don’t you just love it?” He has a look of pride on his face that makes you grin

You take the weapon into your hands and feel the weight is perfect

Not light, but not overly heavy either

“Thank you Franky!” You jump up to hug him and miss seeing his face turn a dark crimson

“O-of course! Anything for a crewmate!” He hugs you back, lightly as if he’s afraid he’ll break you

This makes you laugh, “Franky...I was an admiral remember? I won’t break from a hug!”

“Well then...take this!” He lifts you up, spinning you around in circles

You both laugh, pulling each other closer and closer

Once he sets you down you see the fleeting color of pink on his cheeks

You were sure your face mirrored the same color

He knows in that moment he would protect you

Even if you didn’t need it

Maybe...protect isn’t the right word

It sounds so...one sided

“I’ll protect you...will you protect me?” He looks sheepish, almost as if he hated asking

You lean up and kiss his cheek

“I’ll protect you Franky. I’ll protect all of us...this crew...it’s special.”

He nods, knowing exactly what you meant

“Then we’ll protect each other.”

And it was settled

Brook:

As soon as you stepped onto the ship he approached you

“Your name is y/n...correct?”

“Yup! That’s me!”

He leaned down so your…”eyes” were level with each other

“Can I see your panties?”

SLAP

“...is that a no?”

It’s safe to assume...he doesn’t judge you for being an admirable

Though seeing some of the crew be distant from you...it only motivates him to speak to you more

You looked tired after playing with the crew on deck, so he approached you

“Would you like me to play you a song to help you sleep?”

You stared wide eyed, not knowing he was the musician on the ship

“Sure! Would you...maybe be able to teach me how to play an instrument?”

“Which instrument would you like to learn?”

You hummed, “I’m not sure. I’ll get back to you on that.”

And so he played you a song

It put not only you, but Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper to sleep

He would have grinned if he could, and looked over his crewmates with love

As he finished the song he looked at you once again

“Sleep well y/n...I’ll see you tomorrow.”

[tteokdoroki]

what he lost | k.bakugou.

⇝ pairing: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader.

⇝ word count: 5.4K

⇝ rating: for everyone.

⇝ genre: pro hero!au, exes!au, angst.

⇝ summary: back then; he was young, dumb and a little too prideful, taking your love for granted. now, years down the line he wonders if he’ll ever stand a chance in getting you back or the one in which katsuki bakugou grew up a little too late.

⇝ warning(s): please read ! heavy angst, no happy ending, mentions of toxic relationships, emotional distress, mentions of violence ( explosions, fight scenes, knives, blood ) and cursing all around.

⇝ author’s note(s): greetings everyone!! i hope you’re all doing well, today’s one-shot is a request from @killakatsuki​​, i know you wanted a happy ending but i got a little ahead of myself eee !! anyways thank you all for 400+ followers, i love you all :(

⇝ masterlist | requests

“katsuki bakugou if you leave me right now, please... please don’t come back.”

bakugou had always hated that, he thought, casting his gaze elsewhere in the room. he always hated how you cried when you were angry, red hot tears stinging a pathway down the apples of your usually glowing cheeks.

he couldn’t quite place the reasoning as to why. maybe it was because you rarely ever found yourself angry or perhaps it was how pathetic you looked when your bottom lip wobbled and your harsh words were laced with watery sobs.

or maybe it was because he didn’t want to feel sorry for you, didn’t want to comfort you when he was too prideful to admit that you were right. “whatever, don’t tell me what the fuck to do.” he spits, eyes and voice full of a venom he barely ever uses against you. he watches with a scarlet gaze as you falter, as if a knife has dug deep into your heart and cut you all up but bakugou only scoffs and continues to pack his side kick costume into the duffle bag he’s got on your shared bed.

every fibre of his being is tell him to reach out for you and apologise, he knows that he’s wrong. keeping his late night shifts from you, working extra hours— of course you were going to worry but he needed you to understand that being a hero was his dream above all else. the last thing he needed was a distraction like you.

something in you changed that night, both of you. as the rain hit hard on the roof of your shared apartment, even as you took his things and threw them out into the hall and even as you gave him one last chance on the doorstep. “you can leave now and not comeback or you can stay and we’ll talk this through—“ your eyes spoke to him in a silent plead, asking him if he would really give up the life that you’d built for lies and a better job?

but you knew the answer already.

“like i said,” katsuki rolled his eyes as knowing sobs wracked your body. “i never needed you anyways.”

you slammed the door before he could walk away and forget the tears in your eyes.

six years later and katsuki is pissed.

he’d been irritable since this morning when his interns fucked up the paperwork at his agency— leaving him to clean it up and then when his assistant brought him the wrong coffee and forgot to notify him of the pro hero meeting he was currently attending right at this very minute.

of course heroes of all different calibers were present; including none other than the number two, shoto todoroki, who was in charge of directing this week’s patrol missions but something about that only grinds the explosive pro’s gears even more. although, he could see himself being even more pissed if the number one; deku had shown his face instead of being away on an overseas mission. the schedule for this week’s patrol sits heavily in bakugou’s hand and he almost wants to burn it to pieces just at the thought of working with his future partner.

‘yn ln.’

the sight of your name printed in block capitals next to his has the ash blonde reeling, glancing up to send a blazing scowl towards shoto. he feels set up, as if the half hot, half cold bastard is dangling you right in front of him— its not like todoroki doesn’t know the history that sits between bakugou and yourself, after all,  he had been the friend you’d ran off to during the fight that ended your five year relationship.

it’s like todoroki had a sixth sense because by the time he’d finish announcing the pair ups, he’d tiredly caught wind of katsuki’s heated stare. “bakugou—“

“i wanna fuckin’ switch, icyhot.”

“you can’t.”

bakugou stands from his seat next to kirishima ( who only looks apologetically at his colleagues ), annoyance rippling through his veins as he approaches the taller male. “why the fuck not?” he growls, small explosions sparking in the palms of his sweaty hands ( he was undeniably nervous because of the impending patrol ) the group of heroes simultaneously sigh— having been used to the explosive pro’s usual outbursts.

todoroki sighs, running his cooler hand over his face. “because the pairs have been matched up by quirk and strength, on top of that they were done in advance so if you really have a problem with it then i suggest you take it up with the number one—“ the dual quirked hero falls silent, a triumphant smirk appearing on his lips as red riot pulls his friend away before it’s too late.

“dude, you can’t just go blowing people up!” the red head scolds beneath bakugou’s sailor mouth, wrestling him over to the couch.

katsuki feels defeated, there’s no way to get out of this situation. he’s done his best these last few years to avoid you like the plague. it was somewhat easy, considering you were lower in the ranks compared to him, so there wasn’t much time to interact anyway. but katsuki hated the fact that he had always thought you would fall below him.

nonetheless; he took to switching event time tables around, rejecting hang outs with his old high school friends... all to avoid you, and now that he had to see you face to face, he wasn’t sure how to react. would you still hate him? how did you feel about working with him?

there’s not much time to dwell on the thought for kirishima is already patting his back and guiding him out of the meeting as it ends, the promise of drinks at an ‘heroes only bar’ hanging in the air.

“you’re so handsome, ground zero ! thank you for protecting japan !”

bakugou can feel the bile rising in the back of his throat at the words from the sickly sweet fan, so he gives a nonchalant grunt in response as he finishes up his signature on her notebook before continuing his march to your hero agency. it’s been a few days since the meeting between the pro heroes and all the number three wants is to make it to your agency without being fawned over by more obsessive fans.

he gives the fan a casual wave, ignoring the look of disappointment on her face— either she was expecting his number or for him to grow bashful under her flurry of compliments but katsuki was never one for fan service.

he hated fans that expected something from him, ones who wanted more than a casual chat with their favourite pro hero but he wouldn’t let them in. they didn’t want the intimate, vulnerable sides of katsuki bakugou like you had— maybe that made the ash blonde stuck on you.

yn ln was the only girl in his life who had tried to understand the many layers of the hot headed hero, you saw past his aggressive nature and touched the deepest parts of his soul…parts that you longed to love and keep safe.

you’d loved him for who he was below the surface, not for the money and fame he had come to amass as number three in the ranks.

behind scarlet eyes are the best moments of the hero’s life, each shared with you. katsuki had took for granted the seconds you had been with him, even from the very start— he didn’t care for the way that you held him after he’d been kidnapped, clinging onto him like he’d disappear or would never return to your arms, he should have cherished the tears of worry you shed for him too but katsuki was too prideful at the time.

too full of himself even with his raging nightmares that you had managed to soothe.  

you’d comforted him after he’d failed the licensing exams, promised him he’d still get to be the greatest hero of all time and still, bakugou had cared for none of this. now that he’d thought about it, he hadn’t been good to you, he didn’t know how you’d dealt with they way he undermined your quirk and doubted your ability to protect him when he should have been the one to protect you.

your love was wasted on him, and for that bakugou needed to apologise.

hands in his pockets, katsuki’s mind could have been said to be away with the fairies, haunted by the night he came home with a half hearted apology on his lips to an empty apartment and a note from you. something about staying with the icyhot bastard and not to contact you.

that is until he collided with the back of someone in the crowd. “hey!” he’s quick to growl out to the figure, a slight snarl to the words leaving his mouth. “watch where you’re going, shitty extra—“

“ah, katsuki! nice to see you haven’t changed,” your voice sends shivers down the blonde’s spine, bright red eyes focusing on you and only you. your smile is bright, dazzling under the hot japan sun and even if katsuki hadn’t changed, you certainly had— your pretty eyes he used to get lost in, he used to watch glimmer with tears now hold a different kind of light, they greyish hue that dulled you over your time with him had finally cleared.

you looked healthy, happier and bakugou realises how much your relationship must’ve wore you down.

he feels like he doesn’t deserve the grin that you give him; the one you would save just for him in the early mornings you’d spent together back when you were dating. maybe that makes his heart jumps out of his chest.

“y-yn— “

he hadn’t prepared himself for your sweet, airy giggle that fills the space between you. “ground zero getting shy on me now? don’t tell me you forgot about our shift today, did’ya?”

“n-no, ‘course not, dumbass.” fuck, katsuki’s heart thumps against his ribcage so loud that he’s afraid you might hear it with the little distance between you. since when did you make him nervous? despite the pet name, you still give him a laugh as a flicker of fondness twinges in your bright eyes.

it’s quickly replaced when you blink it away, beckoning ground zero into your hero offices. “nice to see that sailor’s mouth hasn’t changed either ,” you mumble more so to yourself than him. bakugou walks a few paces behind you while you explain to him that you have to finish assigning your sidekicks and interns a few low level missions before you can head off for the day.

the group of young heroes are excitable, seemingly loving the opportunity to work with you— their chatter is loud but it gives katsuki time to drink you in.

crimson eyes travel over your form while you talk— your hero costume has changed a lot since your U.A and sidekick days.

you’d interned under the number two at the time, hawks, thus leading you to have become one of his most trusted sidekicks. no doubt; his skill level had not only  improved your abilities, how you controlled your quirk but your costume as well.

your quirk was known as lullaby, if you could sing a tune in the right pitch to certain groups of people, it allowed you control over the abilities and to put them to sleep. this obviously however meant you were poor at short distance attacks— something bakugou always teased you for, so he was excited to see how you’d improved.

your suit had a visor that allowed you to amplify your quirk, while patterns of the night sky dressed your body— paying homage to your hero name ‘nightsky’.

katsuki felt bad to imprinting the image of your skin tight, midnight blue suit into his mind but back when he had known you like you were his, your costume hadn’t been nearly as advanced as this.

snapping fingers pull him from his thoughts before they can get too hazy.

“eyes are up here, explosion boy.”

katsuki’s gaze snaps up to meet yours, an angry red to rival his gemstone eyes spreading like wildfire across his cheeks. “i wasn’t staring.” he tries his best to defend himself, but your knowing look tells him that you’ve caught him red handed.

“of course you weren’t, sidekicks left about ten minutes ago so we can head out  now—unless you want to keep glaring daggers at my boobs, katsu.” you’re teasing him, voice dripping like honey off of a spoon as you waltz back out onto the streets of japan and leave a bewildered ground zero behind you.

you’ve changed so much since your relationship ended with bakugou, you’re stronger, a vixen and more confident in yourself.

and he hates knowing that he’s the one that kept you down all this time.

patrol remains uneventful even as the afternoon goes on and the stress of japan begin to fill with citizens for the oncoming rush hour.

the lack of action has lead your conversation to die within the wind and leaves katsuki alone with his thoughts for the time being— you only really speak when you catch the blonde staring you down or when he accidentally walks into something ( highly unusual for him ) but he enjoys the seconds where your teasing voice tickles the tips of his ears and you smile so wide his own lips pull into somewhat of a grin.

bakugou doesn’t know why he’s so quiet, not when the storm in his mind brews all the words he should have said to you years ago. the apologies, the grateful thanks that you deserved; none of these could fall from his tongue.

he liked to say he never had the opportunity, which was partly true you were both up and coming herores yes, but you had damn well made sure you’d never have to encounter bakugou unless the situation required it. and it seemed, that years down the line, he was still doing the same.

the thought alone cause nerves to choke him from the inside out, building up in his throat until all he can do is grunt in frustration—  kicking an empty can along the road you’re currently walking down.

“that’s unlike you,” your chuckle cuts through the thick fog of katsuki’s mind, drawing deep red eyes towards your frame. you walk in front of him now, arms folded behind your head while you step backwards— the sight almost comical to anyone passing by. bakugou must look just as shocked because some how he manages to pull the cutest snort from you, even as his face morphs into a snarl and he marches forward to fall into pace with your steps. your eyes dazzle with your next words. “the great katsuki bakugou, quiet? never thought i’d see the day.”

you’ve always been able to read him like an open book, seeing right through the front he puts on. “i haven’t changed.” he grunts through his teeth.

katsuki stops walking when you do, now standing a breaths width away from you. electricity jumps between you both, static forming in the finger tips that just barely brush against bakugou’s arm.

your eyes spell it out for him, clear as day, as you finally reach out to touch him. His own close at the brief gesture, the pain from having lost you blooming across his chest.

“you did.” you breathe out,  the warmth of your soft voice making katsuki’s eyes screw shut.

he could never get a lie past you.

“we both did.”

vermillion eyes open, trying to seek you out in the light of the day as bakugou wills and prays that he can say what he needs to right now, to get you back but he doesn’t have the chance as an explosion cuts through the building on your left.

bakugou manages to wrap his arms around you, shielding you from the blast before you hit the ground. the impulse sends you  both rolling down the street, small grunts escaping you until you roll to a halt and end up on top of katsuki— straddling him.

dust and debris surrounds the pair of you, creating a thick smog in the air as sirens and screams sound off in the distance. the explosive hero groans in pain— no doubt with a litter of bruises forming under his suit but he has no time to register the sting properly before he’s noticing you on top of him, smirk on your face, devilish glint to your eye.

you’ve been waiting for some action all day.

you’re gone in the blink of an eye, so you must have a plan. katsuki remembers from high school that you made up for strategy where you once lacked in strength, so it’s no surprise to him that you’re already on the move. meanwhile; you manage to slide undetected through the smoke, moving fast to take out the low level criminals.

it’s only a robbery, but the explosion could have caused more casualties than you would have liked. you trust that bakugou can take care of the civilians and bring them out of harms way as you do your best o sus out the ringleader.

the grey tinted fog that sweeps over the area allows you both to work quickly; neither of you need to say anything, for one it would give away your position and secondly— there’s an underlying trust in one another that the two of you had built up when you worked together while dating.

bakugou, through his end, tackles down the small group of criminals after clearing the area and making sure no one was hurt. emergency services had been alerted and were already on their way, all there was now, was to predict your next movements and follow your lead. he’d never liked being bossed about, but the look in your eye made him believe you knew what you were doing.

you were right, you’d both changed. you might as well have been a better hero than him.

the ash blonde follows the trail of unconscious wannabe villains to your whereabouts, he only knows that they’re unconscious because of your ability to put people to sleep with your quirk— all you had to do was get close to them, which wouldn’t have been hard as katsuki knew first hand that these guys’ quirks weren’t shit.

“it’s almost funny, how you thought you could pull a stunt like this on a day when all of japan’s biggest heroes are in one place,” bakugou’s ears pick up on you teasing the criminal leader with that smooth chocolate voice and he follows it deeper into the air that’s heavy with debris— glad you were able to find him before the smoke cleared. “even with the number one out of town, tsk, you should have known better…”

the hot headed pro spots you, holding the hooded ringleader in a choke hold with only your thighs as you sit on his shoulders— eyes wide with victory.

he recognises the dip in your voice as you adjust your tone to put the guy to sleep and call it a day. you’re powerful, a great pro and bakugou watches with awe while you get ready to take this guy down once and for all.

“so cocky, nightsky— why do you think we chose attack the street you were on?” the guy spits through clenched teeth, resisting the urge to succumb to your lullaby of a voice.

brows furrowing, you decide not to dwell on the criminal’s words before leaning down to whisper. “sleep...” but katsuki’s body comes alive with fear as the villain wannabe jams a blade into your thigh, causing your grip on him to loosen enough for him to throw you to the floor and put a boot to your throat. “oh miss nightsky, you really rely too much on your quirk and not enough on your senses. hmm, i think it’s time we say goodnight, don’t you?” the guy chuckles while you squirm under his foot— the need for air burning sharply at your lungs.

bakugou, who’s remained hidden this entire time feels himself snap— a heavy explosion loading up behind his gauntlets while he launches himself right into the scene. he won’t let you struggle for your life, not on his watch. “GET YOUR FILTHY FUCKIN’ HANDS OFF OF HER!”

he reaches the criminal just before your eyes roll back into your head, an explosive right hook colliding with their cheek and sending them flying down the street.

the ash blonde reaches down to pull you up into his chest, that very same one heaving with laboured breaths; you’re shaking but it’s nothing you can’t handle even with the red lines at your throat.

“you good?”

“better, thanks to you.”

there’s a look that you wear right now, one that katsuki recognises from years of training and running into fights with you— you want to do the move. he nods at you, vermillion eyes lighting up with a bright fire while you grip onto ground zero’s wrists.

just as the villain stands, you kick your feet off the ground and in the meantime bakugou begins to twirl you in circular motions until you’ve built up enough momentum for him to throw you towards the criminal.

you collide with his back foot first, knocking him to the ground as your eyes glow a bright white. “i said, go the fuck to sleep.”

the criminal drops to sleep and you roll to the ground after taking him out. you smile to yourself at the familiar wail of sirens in the background but don’t bother to make an effort to stand up, letting the exhaustion, pain from the wound in your thigh and bruises at your neck finally flood your body.

sitting beside you, bakugou smirks and holds a fist out to you. “still got it,” he gestures between the pair of you, the same signature move you’ve been doing since high school having worked successfully once again.

“still got it.” you look up to the now clear sky, fist bumping bakugou right back.

he’s going to do it, he thinks, he’s going to apologise.

after everything you and bakugou had been through, something in his chest was relieved to know that you didn’t hate him, something in him is lead to believe that you’re going to give him another chance.

katsuki watches you now, an attendant from the paramedics that you called working on patching up the gash in your thigh while you rub a salve into your neck.

despite the pain you must be in; you’re still glowing, still smiling even when fans ask you for autographs or tell you how brave you were during the fight. you’re so genuine, such a ray of sunshine in the world and bakugou can feel himself falling for you all over again.

“Is that all mr. ground zero, sir?” an officer asks, taking down notes for the report about the incident. the hero nods, waving the kid off after giving them all of the details from today. they thank him and he finds himself marching over to you almost immediately, now that you’re all bandaged up.

“walking already, ln? are you sure it doesn’t hurt?”

you beam up at the ash blonde, hopping out of the back of the ambulance and rubbing at the tear in your hero costume where the cut is. “it’s good, stings a little but i’ve seen worse on you,” you comment to him, beginning your stride back to your agency.

“and who’s fault is that, dumbass?” a genuine laughter bubbles in bakugou’s throat, albeit raspy, its not a foreign sound to your ears and it makes you laugh along with him.

he knows you’re referencing the many times you’d kicked hiss ass when sparring from high school to your side kick days. back then you‘d have traced every scar that littered his pretty body and told him how much you loved him.

katsuki aids you while you head back to the nightsky agency, you insist that you don’t need help to walk but you’re limping and the explosive pro hero is stubborn as hell— he’s not about to let you get hurt again, even if its physically and not mentally like he had done to you before.

with the lighter mood, memories flitter between you both— you mention how katsuki used to love his food so spicy you would cry and he brings up the time you had given him and kirishima a bout of food poisoning when you’d come up with an alternative to the latter’s cooking. the stories don’t seem to end even as you lean into him more; trusting him again.

“about what i said earlier…” you begin after finally coming to a halt outside your agency building, a scarlet gaze full of fondness lands on you. you turn to face him with the softest of smiles, half chewing on your bottom lip— something he knew you did when you were nervous. “you’re different, to how…how you were back then and it’s good, katsuki you’re so good…”

there’s a breath of silence, only filled by the quiet hum of city traffic where people are travelling to and from home. “i’m glad i had time to become good,” bakugou offers, forgoing the words ‘for you’ and pausing instead. “i regret who i was back then, with you… thought it made you hate me and that you wouldn’t fuckin’ work with me today.”

you shake your head, breaking contact with bakugou to paw at the stupid tears preparing to make their way down your cheeks. “i-i did hate you for a while, after everything…but we were young and dumb and—“ you freeze as the ash blonde wipes a stray tear from your cheek, you not having realised that it’d escaped. “and i’m so thankful to have met you, to have shared a love with you, you taught me so much and that i could never hate you for.”

“yn...i—“ i love you. i’m sorry. i should have loved you better. the words are there, the ones that katsuki always told himself he would say to you if he had the chance but he finds himself frozen and unable to speak. why? why now? when the perfect chance sat right in front of him, the perfect time for him to make it up to you.

to start over.

“yes, katsuki?”

to get you back.

“yn i’m sorry—“

“—guess who?”

a sing song voice full of positivity bursts through the moment while a pair of hands clasp their way over your pretty eyes and hide them away from the world.

bakugou instantly recognises the voice as belonging to none other than his childhood rival and number one pro hero, deku. he seems to have changed— grown taller, green hair shaved at the sides for an undercut.

the ash blonde isn’t very sure what else has changed, but then again they hadn’t seen much of each other as sidekicks, working under different agencies with different missions.

it was only as they started competing for the top ranks that they started to run the same circles— but bakugou had no idea how you would’ve come to know deku since the blonde hated him and you were dating each other for most of that time.

katsuki is just about to tell the green haired idiot to ‘fuck the fuck off’ for ruining his moment when you do the unexpected.

you clasp your hands over midoriya’s, cheeky smile gracing your lips as you attempt to pull them away from your face. “let me think, could it be? izuku midoriya?” relenting to your cheery voice— deku pulls away from you, hands falling to grip your waist sweetly. possesively. horror flashes behind bakugou’s raging red eyes. you turn in his rival’s strong arms, smiling so hard that it delves deep into the apples of your cheeks. “izu ! when did you get back? i thought you wouldn’t make it in time for today…”

“flew in this morning doll, i wanted to surprise you—“ the number one beams down at you and bakugou’s world crumbles when you cut him off while pressing a chaste kiss to deku’s lips right in front of his eyes.

this couldn’t be happening...since when were you and the damn nerd a thing? why didn’t he realise? why didn’t he grow up and try and get you back sooner?

he has no choice but to sit and stare, a dark cloud now sitting over his shattered heart.

all the while, you’re giggling into deku’s lips, fumbling over his hands that pinch at your sides just to get you to gasp enough for him to kiss you more.  the painful ( well, only for the explosive pro ) lip lock ends when you both come up for air and your eyes land on your ex boyfriend.

“ah, katsuki ! you remember deku right? wait that’s a dumb question you were literally childhood friends—“ you start to ramble, mind getting away from you and katsuki barely registers anything that leaves your lips. his crimson eyes lock with the emerald ones that stare right back at him and hurt swells in his chest.

to deku, he must look like a kicked puppy. a weakling. a loser.

all the things he had labelled izuku midoriya when they were kids.

when bakugou tunes back into your excited rambling, his heart cracks even more in his chest. “this green giant flew all the way in from overseas to come home for wedding planning ! can you believe it?”  the answer to your question is an obvious no.

he had no idea that you had been seeing the number one, let alone being engaged to him. the hot headed hero freezes in his spot when you reach down the chest of your hero costume to pull out a silver necklace.

on the end of it, an engagement ring with a tiny emerald in it’s centre.

katsuki bakugou feels sick, bile rising up in his throat. he’d really lost you. really. “...pretty thing that is, congratulations.” he mentions blankly, eyes trained on midoriya once again. you don’t notice, but deku does and bakugou hates the sympathetic, apologetic look that the fucking nerd gives him.

“mhm ! izu put it on a necklace for me because, well you know, i’m clumsy and didn’t want to lose the thing,”

you’re so clueless that it hurts, burning katsuki from the inside out. that should be him. it should be his arms around you, his lips on yours, his engagement ring on that fucking necklace. not deku’s, not anyone’s. the green headed hero beside you seems to notice the distress ebbing away at your ex and tilts your head up to look at him. “doll, why don’t you head inside and change into something more comfy real quick? we’ve got cake tasting in an hour…”

the tail end of deku’s words are drowned out by your happily animated squeal and with a quick nod you press a kiss to his freckled cheek and bounce inside— missing the way bakugou winces at your display of affection.

it’s quiet despite the bustling sounds of the city but neither if them know what to say, even as the minutes pass.

bakugou knows that you’d be better off with deku, he would treat you right and give you the love that you deserved all along. but that didn’t make it any less painful.

“kacchan, look...“ the number one says eventually, green eyes swirling with guilt. “i’m sorry—“

the blonde shakes his head, spitting his words out through gritted teeth. “don’t...just,” fuck, it hurts to breathe. “just…take care of her for me, you got that deku?”

“yeah, of course…”

the pair of childhood rivals don’t have much time to speak after that, for you’re already bounding out of your agency wearing a comfortable mint green summer dress and pair of red sneakers to rival deku’s, despite the thick bandage to your thigh.

“ready to go?” you ask your fiancé, face as warm and as bright as it had once been when you used to look at bakugou. izuku nods, delight dancing in his eyes despite the nervous chew to his bottom lip, before letting you turn to your ex lover. “great ! well, see you around kasuki, don’t be a stranger ! we’ve got to catch up again sometime, alright?”

you link arms with izuku midoriya, your fiancé, after that—walking away and  leaving ground zero in the dust.

he doesn’t know how long he stands there for, heart in his hands even while he comes to the realisation that you hadn’t gone to todoroki that night when you’d left. no, you’d only told him that so it hurt a little less when he found out midoriya had been the one to look after you. you’d lied because you’d loved him.

you lie because you love him.

and it was only now that katsuki bakugou had realised what he’d lost.