#continious learning

[ruban94]

🚘 Many of you know me as a project manager in the field of transportation and logistics. Today, I’m excited to share that I’ve expanded my expertise to include Automotive Engineering.

🎓 I’m thrilled to announce that I’ve completed my studies and earned a certificate in “Automotive Industrial Engineering” from Starweaver on Coursera! Huge thanks to Lluís Foreman his invaluable guidance and support throughout this journey.

[nonameonlyflowers]

Pillars of the Light -new blog, reupload-

-this is a reupload of the old intro post that was deleted with the old blog-

You were six when you were taken by the Sun clan.

You spent most of your life in a limbo of sorts: your childhood was comfortable enough, yet you're expected to spend your adult years serving the clan that took your away from your family. You're an agent for the people that care little about you, in a time when tensions are brewing between clans and the demonic threat is rising in the wastes to the north.

An unexpected mission changes your life… again. But maybe, for someone determined it can be an opportunity. Gain Freedom through Power.

Reach Heaven through Hell.

Or, maybe, you’ll decide that Hell is a nice enough place.

A fantasy story I’m working on-and-off in my free time, so updates will be slow. I’m intending for it to remain a free game from start to finish. 

As of 09/07/24, the prologue and ch1 are done and can be found here.

Current word count: 62k words w/o code/67k with

CoG forum thread is over there

Planned features:

a story with a focus on plot and character interactions;

elements of horror and thriller;

a MC that is not a completely blank slate, but whose stats and relationships will affect their behaviour;

a mix of adventure and political intrigue storylines;

though there will be opportunities to build relationships, this won’t be a romance-focused game (romance will be a possibility, but not a focus).

(eventually) gain a voice in your head (for free)

(eventually) gain special powers (not for free) (and maybe decide it was not worth it)

(very eventually) decide that maybe you just want to burn it all to the ground

an attempt to mix western and eastern fantasy

The story is expected to eventually touch upon some pretty heavy topics in addition to the usual (by usual I mean profanity, fantasy violence, blood and injury etc.). More details in the game itself.

Characters:

The Guard: Throughout your childhood, Ember had been by your side, whether either of you wanted this or not. If he detested his position, he never showed it; in fact, he showed very little at all. You don't know what kind of person lies behind the polite mask, so if you ever see him again, you might find him to be very different from what you'd guessed about him.

The Princess: Neith had a sheltered childhood. A very sheltered childhood, mandated by her mother's fear for the life of the family's sole heiress. Now she's trying to fight, but not against the role of the heir itself; rather, she feels that to become a worthy leader to her family, she must grow and learn first. Her behaviour is continiously putting her in opposition to her mother, and you sometimes wonder just how far she is willing to go.

The Priestess: An unusual priestess of the Temple dedicated to the Crying Goddess. She had asked to be sent along with you on your mission, but shows little interest in the mission's success. Cold and irritable, she seems to have personal reasons for following you, and occasionally you notice anger burning in her eyes - one that is not aimed at your enemies.

The Ascendant: He's the one you're supposed to be helping. He's also perhaps the one whom you can trust the least, no matter how friendly his smiles seem. You're all using each other, and as time passes, you realize more and more how precarious his position is. You suppose it's to be expected: if he didn't need help, you wouldn't have been sent to aid him.

tags: @interact-if

[urwhorecrux]

How would the hp boys handle an argument with their partner?

⋆ ˚⁀➷ ₊˚⊹⋆ 𝗛𝗣 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗙𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗦 - 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗟𝗘 𝗔𝗡 𝗔𝗥𝗚𝗨𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗜𝗥 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗡𝗘𝗥.

ft. harry potter, ron weasley, cedric diggory, & draco malfoy.

pairings. harry potter boys x gn!reader.

warnings. fluff, arguing, slight angst.

a/n. if you have any specific harry potter boy you wanna see in my prefrences, request it and i'll add it. <3

word count (all). 1.2k

masterlist. my preferences. send me a request <3.

— 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑

He usually keeps his temper calm with you no matter what, but today was different for him. With everyone being on him about Voldemort returning and the daily prophet, he needed your support more than anything.

He couldn't put down that stupid daily prophet, at breakfast he read every single lie that sat on the page. You continiously warned him about it, even suggesting he takes a break from reading it and enjoy a breakfast with you, ron, and hermione, but he resisted. He carried it and read it everywhere he went, hardly ever putting it down.

You attempted to pry it gently from his hands before bed, insisting he take a break and try again tomorrow. Instead, he continued with it, getting slightly defensive towards you.

You continued attempting to take it from him, before he snapped, slightly raising his voice.

Your eyes slowly became glossy, filling with tears. You've never seen him so- bad-tempered. Even with others, he would still be upset yet would cool off before thinking about anything to say.

You quickly gathered your things, rushing out of his dorm before he could say anything to even attempt to apologize for yelling. As you reached your dorm your eyes were red with tears still dripping from the duct of your eyes. You eventually fell asleep, without harry and without a comforting thought of him.

The next morning at breakfast he approached you, with open arms which you avoided.

"Y/n, love please just let me tal-" he was interrupted by you hurridely running off, leaving for hours on before he saw you after school, in the courtyard.

He approached you again in the courtyard, this time with flowers and a letter.

"Y/n, please just-just stay and listen this time", he sat everything next to you, along with himself.

"I really am sorry for the way I acted, I swear I'll never raise my voice at you again, it's not what you deserve."

You inched over towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder and the other cupping his face.

"Haz, it's alright just- put down that stupid prophet when I say so" you giggled.

"I won't even go near it anymore" He smirked, placing soft kisses across your face.

— 𝑹𝑶𝑵 𝑾𝑬𝑨𝑺𝑳𝑬𝒀

Ron, being stubborn, had argued with you about how he'd constantly been copying your work.

After long quidditch practices he couldn't make the dedication to completely finish all his schoolwork, so he decided to ask you for help one night. Then, that one night turned to a couple days of work, then a full week of work. To the point where he had barely been trying in his classes, relying on you for the work.

Teachers couldn't help but notice, and eventually called you both out on it, getting you both in trouble. That led to Ron continuing to copy your work, no matter what the teachers say.

You tried telling him off for it, insisting that he wouldn't learn that way. But, instead of hearing you out he'd just left, left from your dorm and continued to ignore you for two days.

Two days later, you found him in class, the one he hadn't been going to due to loads of work and worrying about everything except class, and even though he didn't show it, he was still worried about you even though he was the one who stormed out.

After class he found you in your dorm, your roomates cleared out.

"Y/n.. can I come in?" he knocked softly on the door, an innocent look on his eyes.

You nodded, expecting for him to ask for your help again, ignoring the situation where he walked out on you two days ago. Instead he didn't, he spoke softly, "I know i've been slacking off in school, I didn't expect it to be like this though",

"Okay, continue", you stated.

"I wanna make it up to you y/n, I really do. I'll actually try harder and catch up this time, I mean it."

You slightly smiled, not ecxpecting him to actually remember or care to make it up to you, but he did.

— 𝑪𝑬𝑫𝑹𝑰𝑪 𝑫𝑰𝑮𝑮𝑶𝑹𝒀

Every so often you remembered that Cho was Cedric's ex, and that you weren't the first person to date him. It didn't really get to you, until eventually you saw her desperately trying to get his attention more and more.

When you'd been at Cedric's quidditch matches you seemed to notice you weren't the only one running down to go see him and cheer him on, she was too. After games she always lingered around.

"Cedric, that was great!" she smiled at him, practically drooling over him anytime he did anything.

"Yea, um- thanks." he quickly shrugged, his attention turning back to you.

You let it rest that time, not thinking much of it and not caring that he even talked to her, until the next time she offered to take him out, right after another match.

You knew you could trust Cedric but she was no where near trustworthy.

Later on you found the both of them, her unusually close to his face. You waited a few moments behind a wall, hearing small echos of their voices.

"Ced, please lets just- you know, get back toge-" you interrupted coming from behind the corner, gasping softly.

Cedric looks towards you, attempting to speak up and rush after you, but he knew you were already set off after you saw the two of them together.

The next morning you awoke to an unexpected surprise in your dorm, Cedric smiling down at you.

"Ced, what was that yesterday?" you frowned.

"Love I promise, I want nothing to do with her she just came up to me, I'm all yours just don't be upset" He interlocked his hand with yours, innocent eyes glaring at you.

"It'll never happen again?" you questioned, softly pouting at him.

"Never love, I promise."

— 𝑫𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑶 𝑴𝑨𝑳𝑭𝑶𝒀

With the stress surrounding Draco during his 6th year back, it eventually started to affect you too. You both were most likely always busy, you with the slug club and him with his missions which Voldemort and his father set him on.

He had one coming up that was more than dangerous, a task he'd never done before and couldn't be sure that he would fullfil.

"Dray, you can't do it just tell you father he'd understa-"

You were interrupted by Draco's tone of voice, him lashing out towards you with no regrets it seemed.

You were nearly surprised he'd raise his voice at you, as it nearly never happens but this time it did. Your sight filled with water, you attempted to speak back, but it felt like you just choked. You sit still on his bed, unsure of anything to say.

"I have to go y/n, you don't understand" he scoffed, continuing to pack.

"Dray, please- just please don't do go I really mean it"

He looked to you with glossy eyes, becoming slightly hesitant, he sat next to you, nuzzling his neck into your shoulders.

"Y/n, love, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting it's just-"

"No, I know. Just please don't take this mission, any other one not this one though".

He cupped you cheek gently, nodding his head slightly, holding the mission off.

[vanderdyks]

We dont talk enough about the fact that Goku wasnt born strong. Gohan, Vegeta, Broly, Goten, Trunks... all born with innate strength. But Goku... Goku was weak. His entire life growing up, there was ALWAYS someone stronger than him.

For a saiyan to be outmatched by earthlings... ridiculous. But he was. Several times over. Every bit of strength Goku has, he had to work for, train relentlessly for. Its easy to forget because hes so strong now and continiously comes out ahead. But thats the POINT.

Vegeta grew up knowing he was the pride of the saiyan race, born strong, elite, a prodigy. He was hopelessly outmatched by frieza and some of his army, but for a saiyan, vegeta was the strongest (or so he believed).

Because the saiyans put so much belief into power you were born with, power you were destined to have. You either had strength or you didnt. And Goku didnt. So he was third class. His destiny wasnt power, it was weakness.

Its why Vegeta is so constantly thrown off by and therefore obsessed with Goku in the beginning. Because how could someone born so weak be THIS strong? It didnt make sense.

Then we have Gohan, born with incredible hidden reserves of power. Unlike Goku, Gohan was born with potential. His strength was always there. And sure, he had to work incredibly hard to unlock it but its a story arc we keep seeing repeated with gohan. Either its unlocked with anger or someone unlocks it for him (the grand elder, old kai, etc.)

And then Goten and Trunks, both super saiyan by the age of 7. Power came EASY to them. It was as natural as breathing. Goku, Vegeta, and even Gohan all struggled to reach super saiyan. It took a toll. But Trunks and Goten take that power from literal legend and make it a game.

No one has ever had to work as hard as Goku to achieve strength. And you can argue with me on this all day long if you want to. He didnt have hidden powers. There were no hidden reserves, no one to unlock his innate abilities. When he was a child, his unnatural strength compared to human made him special. But for a saiyan, goku was one of the lowest of their race.

Every bit of strength, every morsel of power in gokus body, was built through training. He didnt unlock hidden potentials, HE CREATED them. Its why Goku is the mortal who figures out how to unlock ultra instinct. Because he almost never won a battle purely based off a sheer power, no. Goku had to be smart, needed to be clever. He was forced to hone technique just as much as power, was taught by all his masters the importance of harnessing his mind as well as his body. He grew up meditating, sensing energy, learning not to rely on his eyes, but all his senses. He was training to filter out his own extra unnecessary movements all the way back when he first met Korin and then later again with Kami.

Goku lost fights a lot. All the time. But everytime he lost, he learned. Because he was forced too. Because when Goku lost, there was no backup. He was it. And so he would HAVE to come back stronger, have to find the way to win. Or everyone would be dead.

Maybe its just me but i just think theres something incredibly special about a saiyan labeled as "weak," a saiyan no one bothered to pay any mind to being the first to become legend. He avenged their entire race. That little boy with a tail, born with a power level of 2, became the strongest of them all.

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

Ford just wants Stan to be safe and to be OK and that's harder to be with the cat thing, but Ford can do it better now also. He can protect and provide for Stan, and Stan doesn't have to put himself in danger! Ford can protect them himself! Stan doesn't see it this way of course, just sees Ford being better than him, and him being useless. Now he can't even do the one thing he was good for, which was protect Ford, so why even be here! What's the point of him!

The sad thing. Both of their fears are the same at their root. They were never accepted and respected for who and what they were before. They always had to prove themselves to others, except to each other.

Stanford's acceptance rested on being perfect and not being a bother. And he only was better behaved because it had been beaten into his head that his disability is a burden. He didn't want to draw more attention to himself. If he ever did less than perfect, people would make his otherness eclipse anything else, even in highschool where he was actually popular. Failure was not an option, because they didn't respect his differences.

But that left so many things he never got practice in because why should a smart guy like him do it? Why should somebody who was always ostracized practice socializing and other things if he was rejected anyway? He was never good at it anyway. And how should he be able to help Stan, when he always needed his protection?

What is if he's not smart? Isn't he entirely useless and unwanted?

People didn't accept Stanley, because of his relation to Ford and protecting him, and his worse marks than his brother made him an easy target for bullying, too. Then because he likely became suspicious of everybody. They didn't respect that he didn't do things like it was expected of him, so they always expected failure.

They put him down, ignoring what he could do. They made him believe he's stupid, so he latched onto the thing he could continiously do, help make feel Ford better, protect him. He didn't apply himself and rather cheated because what was the point? He was never good at school anyway.

What if he's not strong? Isn't he entirely useless and unwanted?

Which adds to the miscommunication. They knew each other's strengths, while being beat down about their perceived flaws, and thought their brother was better. When they both are suffering from the same thing.

All of this really. I also think they probably never learned how to talk to each other properly about their insecurities from a combination of their upbringing and being twins. I don't imagine anyone in their life encouraged communication, just to toughen up and get over whatever problems they had. Then being twins, growing side by side and always together, they understood what each other wanted and felt.

Until they didn't. As they grew older they started wanting and feeling different things, but because they were so used to just knowing each other, they didn't realize the brother in their mind didn't match the real deal. Stan didn't realize Ford became more realistic, while Ford didn't see Stan's insecurities and feelings of worthlessness. In their mind they understood each other perfectly, until the science fair happened and they realized things had changed.

Now as adults, after they reconnect, they're trying to figure each other out again. They both want a similar dynamic they had as children, while adding their more adult outlooks and experiences. Except that won't work, because they're different people then they were as kids. Now they actually have to talk to each other.

Fords more confident, and he wants to pay back for all the years Stan spent protecting him. Let him take the lead and make sure neither of then get hurt. Then Stan can finally focus on his more creative pursuits.

Stan's less confident, he only sees his worth as the shield between Ford and the world. If he can't protect Ford, then what's he even around for? He doesn't see his own strengths as anything worth doing.

It'd take a while for them to really figure out each other and explain their feelings, and they probably have more fights in the meantime.

[sshassh-sshout-you]

"Creation" Chapter 4.1. Forest sprinkled with poison

A/N: I got behind schedule because of an unexpected feeling of illness, loss of consciousness and a visit to the city hospital... The adventure was so-so. I will monitor my health more carefully so that this does not happen again. I hope the events of the chapter will justify me

Word count: 4,1K

Warnings: brief mentions of death, hints of rape, sexual oppression and abuse, use of children, themes of parenthood and breeding, mentions of blood, injuries and mutilation, swearing, animal torture (oh... it will be fine, I promise you - because I consider the last point inhumane and it is only necessary for the plot twist)

🎧 Power-Haus, Christian Reindl, Lucie Paradis — Gefion

Crystal-clear sky. White with a dash of blue and grey. Not a cloud, but the feeling of mischievous rain is hovering in the air.

You were three or four years old then, not more. You didn't pronounce letters well, were distracted by this and that.

And you keep this memory far, far away in memory, like a ward.

Sitting on your father's shoulder, you hold your mother's hand. You point your parents to the strawberry patch visible at the fork in the paths, like an experienced lookout. Your parents take heed to your babble with laughter, your father lowers you onto the short grass, flattened by the summer breeze, and your mother hints you how to pick berries from the bushes. The handbusket you hold is filled in a matter of minutes.

Happy, with your plump palms stained with berry juice, you hand the dainty to your mother — a gesture, that she praises your efforts, is full of pride. She ruffles your unruly curls. Lifting you into the air, your father places you back on his shoulders.

Parents questioning you about the recently learned words, asking you to name everything you see — you swing your legs and name every grass blade, every bug on the way home.

Scarcely the slanted, moss-covered ruins could be called home. But here you lived the brightest years of your childhood.

The door creaks as you stomp inside, hallooed out to your mother and father. They are standing behind.

The sun is hiding, but the rain doesn't drip.

Parents look at you with a love that you will never be able to forget — and will barely find anywhere else.

***

The turned-down edge of a yellowed, worn book. The letters on the pages are ghostly. The illustrations are bright.

Your foster parents always encouraged your curiosity — for your seventeenth birthday you received a book about the world structure. A book about all the phenomenas and inhabitants of a planet that has been continiously changing — there, upstairs — for many billions of years.

You kept book with carefully and cautiosly. Just like every story told by your foster mother, imbued with wisdom. Just like every instruction from your foster father, aimed at save you from scourges.

A year later, running away, you didn’t manage to take a single thing. Not a single memory.

These parents also look at you, buried under layers of metal and earth, with love. It's a different feeling — but just as eternal. And that you'll also barely some day find.

***

You wake up with a naive gust to get at least a little warmth of your mother's hands from your hair. Straighten out yourself, lying in a nest warmed by the sun — this warmth can also be settle with. Albeit with a creak, even with aching sadness.

Since your blood parents died, have passed thousands of days, filled with darkness. Since your foster parents died, have passed months, and your heart is howling.

The book was left there, in the rotten underground prison. One of the bastards dropped it on the floor of your room. In a fight where life was at stake, you still managed to take the most valuable things from your involuntary home. Only one was mattered — hide, strike a blow, and get out of the shackles to the surface. Had to sacrifice the book, in order to run without looking back. The pages and the binding were probably already trampled. While they were prowling, sniffing out your footprints.

However, the grey backpack with one strap, in which you had raked the remains of the past, also remained somewhere not far from their lair. You held it to clouding tightly — until fell off the bridge.

Rolling tumble, smearing in mud, you prayed — if only they wouldn't find what belonged to you. If only they wouldn't plundered it, wouldn't messed it.

If only backpack remained lying somewhere in the grass.

You'll have found it, you'll have be able to... If it hadn't been mortally dangerous to go back there.

The guilt that you were unable to retain even one complete memory of your former life rises in your throat. Everything is lost there. Your daily, worn-out clothes. Your comb with bent teeth. Your locket turned into a bracelet. Notebook. Prayer book. Drawings of how you remember your blood parents. Photo album of how you remember your foster parents. Old camera with several empty rolls, that could have been used to capture something important... You had to try to catch at least something... But what is lost cannot be returned.

You look at the rising sun.

Providing your face to the rays crumbling across the hut.

Tears don't flow, eyes don't sting. And lungs don't cramp in desolate spasm. Maybe, this is what means reconcile.

During the time you spent in the clan, summer had almost blossomed from the spring buds. The daylight hours had increased, the working hours — too. It was strange to realize this. You had asked only to wait out the cold night, without hoping for anything more. Now you've lived here for the rest of the cold spring.

The shades of the seasons, while you were freezing among cruelty and heresy, did not change at all. Spring remained elegant and tender, like a wreath woven from wild flowers. Summer remained playful, like many-colored pebbles glittering on the lake bottom.

Raising your head to the sky, admiring its palette — and look around, searching for differences from the past. Except for your broken growing up, everything is the same. Like in distant childhood memories. Can't even believe it.

Everything is exactly the same. Even the feeling warmth of mother's hands.

The warmth of a mother's touch, carreeing through the roofs of the huts and through the space under open sky.

Through the past, the present, and, definitely, through the future.

A touch that came before civilizations and wars. A touch that cannot disappear as long as families exist. Unforgettable, unshakable. Repeated in a multitude of meanings and forms... Once upon a time, these were the hands of your own mother, who silently told you all the basics for a child's mind necessary.

Now these are the hands of a female chimpanzee lulling her cub.

Yes, the same one who hurried to move away from you, saving the most important she has - her children. Now Kantis and her husband (it's incredible, but in fact, apes unions, bonded with rituals, and not with spots of seals, are mostly stronger and durable than humans), who perceived you with hostility, are much more favorable. As you managed to find out by chance, the age of people and apes is calculated nearly the same - which means that Kantis was a not much older than you. But at first, with grumpiness, she let you under her wing. Like an unfledged chick.

You admit, that this is how it is.

The shells cracked on you just as they did on those eaglets you watched with awe among the sticks, rods and softly carpeted perches. Even if those shells were not visible, you were afraid to climb out of the egg.

You needed help, from start to finish, to feel like you weren't out of place. The decision was made unspoken. When both Kantis's little cubs, Nober and Febri, who can only slither and babble, took their first clumsy steps towards you... More and more often you visit them, for a short time or for many talkative hours, to remember the feeling of family, unbreakable kinship.

***

The cuts healed, leaving almost no scars. As Dar had said, you no longer dragged your feet, but ran like a little deer. Together with the apes children, having memorized all the ringing names. Especially the names of the five mischief-makers who attacked you with curiosity and naivety. Insightful as adult Kaidy, modest Lum and her little brother Lup, thoughtful Elan, and, of course, brave hooligan Paco. Answering their pouring like rivulets questions, you found real joy. Forgetting about the bothering wounds, you played unknown games with them — and taught them the games you knew. It was an honest, pure exchange.

The apes children were no different from the human children — and you were both a strict adult and a noisy child with them at the same time.

Uncorked yourself from the iron jar just recently and re-learning the outlines of everything familiar, you responded to many things with the same childish delight as the five apes cubs. They didn't draw out dark secrets out of you — they only asked for exciting stories and catch-ups. It was easier for you to find with them a common language.

Watching the incessant, peaceful flow of weeks, you yourself sometimes questioned them with genuine curiosity.

This seemed to you that, what would make you happier.

As much it possible while hidden from everyone mourning.

In the dungeon, too, in your free time from back-breaking work, you did not miss a single chance to mess around with the children. Here you eagerly awaited the moment when you could bring at least some slightly advantage. But this moment never doesn't coming.

Everyone was busy, but the Elders were in no hurry to assign any businesses to you. Even though you yourself asked for responsibilities. Even though the crumbs of kindness that you kept within yourself and joyfully gave to the cubs, softened the initial sharp edges. Still, even though you received shelter here — mistrust outweighed virtue.

Mistrust settled in Vikima's blind, transparent pupils. She not drive you away. She called all people grief-sending spirits. The teen-chimps, who adore her stories of the past, told you of the fresh grieving that lay in her wrinkles. She had lost three sons and a husband. Fault for that — human and the disfavor of fate.

Without daring to express it, you shared her sadness. And, as if seeing what was happening in your soul, the Elders replaced their disguised, justified anger on mercy.

Once you've adjusted and healed your wounds, assured Dar, you'll be able to do work that you can handle.

You were flattered.

You were guessed, that Dar means taking care of the children. Just as like you dreamed.

And then, maybe you'll join the healing. Elders know about this your skill. The opportunity to mention it already presented itself, when one of the cubs got a splinter and you helped to take it out, without a single childish tear. But it's better not to rush events.

***

So far, under the constant, mentoring supervision, you have learned to live as is commonly in the clan. And surprisingly, you have done well.

The traditions of the apes, maybe, been foreign to you — but their culture and beliefs were certainly not about vandalism and widespread wrecking. They revered Mother-Nature and all her bountiful gifts, lived in harmony with her powers. In contrast to the settlement where you could never exist. There was no respect for anything that existed. The teachings of that place hummed: tear out, hack away. Destroy.

Resounding in a bass voice heartless choir. Consisting of hundreds of pests, tormenting you in nightmares, and only occasionally interspersed with pictures of an unblemished childhood... Here this raging choir died down, giving you brief moments of peace.

Finding yourself in the womb of forest, among strangers who were being vilified by gossips, you seemed to breathe for the first time in many, many strained years.

Let in not air, but entire grassy expanses inside yourself, your consciousness.

You couldn't know in advance, that what evil tongues were telling might turn out to be true.

You couldn't know nothing, until you convinced it personally.

This, of course, would require many more seasons. But despite their wariness, the apess welcomed you with cordiality. And when you were about to leave, gathering your meager belongings — Noa suggested, that you stay until you found a better place. And you, and he knew, that such a place simply didn't exist — and from anywhere you would be like a patch on a cloth that did not need to be patched. This was an offer not to huddle as a guest, but to settle down forever. With this wording between the lines you agreed. Here you were not subjected to any violence, not even an indirect hint of violence. Here you were granted, to some extent, freedom of thought, speech and action. In the settlement, leniency was granted only to slaves, living commodity as a reward, when the slave owners achieved whatever cruel aim.

There were not many aims and needs for which girls, young women and women were needed there. Only two. Small, painstaking labor and childbearing. If your escape failed — you'll would have suffer, like pretty, until one of these men who had no right to be called men disgraced you in the most painful way. The rapes would have continue until your womb bore a child. If it were a girl — she would be left in your arms, waiting for her to become a resource. If it were a boy — he would be removed to a compartment located just below the surface as soon as you finished feeding him with breast milk. It is difficult to determine which fate is worse. A doll for plaything or a mannequin for huntmastering?..

Children were born rarely, but there they meant nothing. Children were just instruments.

Attachment to children was conditional. Parental love was frowned.

A crime against all the precepts that has bequeathed God... Aimless childbearing and equally aimless labor. If from the chosen victim could be obtained neither of these  — or if the result did not satisfy the tormentors — victim was thrown into the garbage. Exhausted and used. It was a hellish cycle. It was written in blood and flesh law...

Regarding life as burden, you had never before considered, whether you would ever want to have your own children. Here you thought about it in the silence of the night, ringing among the animals calling.

There was no point in looking around too intently. In every hut, in addition to the nest that served as a bed, there was something reminiscent of a cradle for newborns. Your hut was no exception. This uncurtained cradle distracted you from your work, all your thoughts circled around the cradle... You know, there are more such seeds-prisons scattered underground, made of an alloy of cold metals and glass. These seeds will not germinate through decades or through centuries. You are doomed to loneliness, cutting yourself off from imprisonment — and from human men.

Maybe, it's for the better?.. What life could live children who were born not for unconditional love, but for the preservation of a morally fallen race? Hardly a happy one.

This aim was disgusting to you, but understandable. The desire of the bastards, who got what they deserved, to possess you was at least explainable.

You were already a working unit, serged and darned for days. And you would have become a good mother, even if you had no chances to give your children a childhood with a clear sky above their heads. Now you are deprived of the chance for motherhood...

But, given the theoretical possibility of helping in the apes manger, would you be so useful? Several generations of females manage this perfectly well without you. Your help is as great, as a grain in a sack. Not to mention that here you are useless as a vessel for conceiving and bearing offspring. Everything in you is breaking under the weight of questions and breaking through, for the first time in months, selfishness. If you stay here, you will inevitably end up an old maid. No matter how you look at it, are you needed here for any aim?..

But, otherwise, why would Noa teach the stubbornly silent you everything he himself knew?.. Obviously, he made your stay in the clan easier. He shared with you the tricks, necessary for survival — as he himself let it slip, the second time luck will not save you.

Indeed, it was not luck that saved you, but he, Noa. One of the apes. One of those, whom people admitted as evil incarnate. One of those, who did not drive you away, when all the people around were deaf to your despair. So, you were convinced only that the slander is a lie. Because you see in apes much more humanity, than in the hateful dungeon, teeming with unhappy people and inhuman cruelty.

And, living side by side with apes, you want to strengthened in this conviction.

You would like to thank Noa even, perhaps, more — only thanks to his contradictory act you see, what this whole world can be. Only this act of his already roots your withered, eaten away by fear, like parasite, hope. But the oath, that rumbles in your head, prevents you from saying just one word. The fact, that he is not a human, does not cancel your prejudice. You will not utter a single word, intended for a man. Even if his thoughts are pure.

It feels wrong to use gestures for explaining — but your tongue feels like it’s falling into your stomach, when you try to even imagine a conversation with Noa. And your lips feel like a needle is piercing them, pulling tiny stitches of a nonexistent thread.

At your silent request, Noa tells you what these strange, small wooden blocks are that have caught your attention. It's sort of ward. You can find them in every hut, as you noticed when you looked in on Soona. Trinket with a mystical meaning. And everyone in the clan makes these blocks for themselves single-handedly.

Tiny blocks laid in a row in your hut were made by Noa.

Without knowing why, you get in earnest angry when you find it out — and you ask Noa to take them to his own home and teach you this skill. So that there in your room will be nothing foreign.

If you said it out loud, would sound absurd.

But even from the crumpled gestures, your hands nervously twitched.

It was further proof of Noa's good intentions towards you, which you couldn't be angry about. But you couldn't pacify the vague indignation. How and the crudely expressed movements of fingers.

To your sincere surprise, Noa once again does exactly as you asked. By sunset, not a single wooden trinket remains in your hut. The next dawn, Noa begins teaching you how to handle wood.

If you dared to ask for such a stupid little thing there, among the boors seething with anger and bile — on your face would already be turning blue hematomas.

Here you shake off the sawdust, use one of the gestures you learned over the spring to ask Noa if you’re doing well — and twirl in your hands a crooked short peg.

A snarky laugh is heard. Jeru and Nigig, who's else, damn...

They are no better than what is happening in the place you fled from. They have been trying so hard to ridicule you, to vomit more vileness at you since the day Noa brought you into the clan. No matter what they say, you remain silent. Not because Noa insisted on such tactics, although you did listen to his advice then. You just do not consider Nigig a representative of the female kind. You could have answered her a hundred fold more painfully, but there is no need.

Jeru keeps Nigig around not as his woman, but as his empty-barking henchman. He treats her like a mutt. She behaves accordingly, indulging in his unreasonable attacks.

Listening to their dry conversation one day, you are perplexed. They have nothing to talk about, if not to insult. They are united only by malice. For a brief moment, you wonder — why do they live under the same roof, if their union is based on the desire to verbally mock someone, and not on the desire to while away the evenings together, to raise offspring together?..

Such abscesses are present on the body of any society, you suppose. Without them, good treatment wouldn't be appreciated.

Spending even a sound on them both — squandering. You put the unfinished trinket aside, folding your arms across your boobs. You close yourself off from the male's gaze rummaging your body, and don't understand, how his companion allows it. You involuntarily step behind Noa's shoulder, he growling, bristling fur and losing his patience. You look through their grimacing foreheads.

"In a long time haven't seen... such muck" Jeru laughs, grinning. And you can hear from his intonation, that he's not talking about your unskillful work, but about you.

"Don't amuse me... What else is capable of this... bedding?" Nigig looks at you dismissively, stretching out the last word into syllables.

"I'll pretend that you... didn't yipedd nothing. Now get lost" Noa replies, shielding you with his back. The indignation in his voice makes you stupefied.

Wooden block fall to the ground, when Jeru tries to grab your wrist.

Without a second thought, Noa knocks him down. You scream and stand rooted to the spot, and Nigig's trail went cold. Who would doubted it.

The second time Noa fights is because of you, damn him. You take a step back, toward the wood chips and shavings. You beg to stop, as splashes of someone's blood are drif apart. Sound of crushing bone. Noa stands up, shaking himself. He's unharmed, save for the blood trickling from his nose. Beating he gave Jeru, on the other hand, was more than serious. Tucked tail, that's what he lacks.

Your impressions of what happened are controversial. There is no one here except you, Noa, and the future wooden amulets. He clearly didn't get into a fight to maintain status, his or yours.

Noa protects you selflessly. With arguments and fists. In every way. From that night, appearing as a saving shadow, and to this day. Even if this aim is not voiced — now it is understandable to you. But why?..

It takes a few moments to indecisiveness, but you hesitate, for what feels, like a whole summer. You walk up to Noa, quickly wiping the blood off his face with the back of your hand. And run so fast, that you can't catch your breath, when you get back to your house. Those are still not the words you want to say. But at least it's something.

***

You dream of a backpack. Nothing but a backpack and the area where you dropped it.

A steep hill right behind the lake, surrounded by thin-armed trees. Cobblestones, small pebbles. Tenacious bushes. A bridge...

***

In a dream the realize, that you went back for your backpack and lost it again very close to the place where Noa found you, gives you unprecedented strength.

You'll find. You'll be able.

You run at your two legs, as if on a galloping horse. Along the way you fall into the dried on sun mud, suffocate in a column of rising dust. You see a stone bridge in sight. You run faster, hoping to meet the almost lost memories...

Hear a squeak, from which your heart is ruptures.

Like sick infants cry. Only more shriller. As if death was breathing down neck again, pacing somewhere nearby...

Beneath a low-growing gooseberry bush, rendingly screaming a rabbit. Its hind leg caught in the jaws of a trap. Noa towers over it, aimed a spear.

"Hey, owl!" you yelling at the top of your throat. Louder than the poor rabbit. Louder than the birds flying in all directions. Louder than a weapon falling with a crash.

Hands down, Noa looks straight at you, turning around. You're holding a sharpened spear. You're learning fast. And you're filled with dissapointment.

"Yes, Noa, I'm talking to you! It was you, who spoke of owls and rabbits. So you were feint? Well, I'm glad, that I saw your deception with my own eyes"

Forest sprinkled with poison of your words.

These weren't supposed to be the first words you spoke to Noa. Not at all. You rehearsed them in your head, wandering through the swirls of ornate phrases — waiting until you were ready to speak them without fear. Now you're waiting to see if Noa will pick up his spear and if you strike a blow again.

Leaning down towards the incessantly squeaking lump, you open the trap with incredible effort. When Noa tries to help, you don't let him near and hiss.

"Or you move away, or I'll stick your hand there!" you say in a weak, loud whisper as he reaches for the rabbit you pick up. "You wanted to kill him..."

"I wanted to kill whoever... set the trap. Look. Too big for... a rabbit" Noa says confused. You hide the wounded animal in your hands, seeing yourself as if in a reflection. "Someone is hunting echo"

[lollygaggingloser]

Moana 2 Rant

Hey y'all, I know my Tumblr is all about Varian and the 7 kingdoms, but I need to blab a little on this, so please indulge me. I saw Moana 2 (I give it a 5 out of 10, totally mid), and while it had a lot of potential, Disney really flubbed it.

First off, it really should have been a series with this movie's plot being the first season. This feels like the first 3 episodes and a season finale forced together so the pacing, character arcs, and story acts feel weak. There's so much potential and I see the vision, but the execution just...ehhh.

Now, before I continue, imma give a big spoiler warning for all of Moana 2 and my own ideas of how this could have succeeded more as a series along with other fixes. This is my personal opinion and random brain blerps. Do not take this seriously, cause neither do I. Cool? Cool.

1. Moana 2 needs a stronger supporting cast. In the movie, Moana is joined by 3 people from her island on her journey. Their introduction is fast and we're basically not given the opportunity to see Moana build any relationships with them because she already knows them, and learning how to work together on the same page takes 1 song. Legit. To fix this, for the series, Moana should start her adventure to Motufetu alone as she did in the first and find 3 other companions in her journey. These 3 other companions should also be wayfinders like Moana from their own islands on the same journey to find Motufetu and help connect all the other tribes. Doing this would do multiple things: 1) Properly introduce us to these supporting characters because Moana is meeting them for the first time like us. 2) Help us learn the differences between tribes but how all are connected through their stories of the gods and legends and watch them learn to work together. 3) Have Moana question her role as 'the chosen one' as all the other wayfinders believe they have also been chosen by the ocean to connect their tribes. This last one is a personal suggestion as the other wayfinders can have their own adventures like Moana did with different demigods or gods as companions in their past (introducing us to legends other than Maui). The ocean is also a friend to these other wayfinders and helped them all meet to find Motufetu together. This also makes Moana less 'special' and unprotected by the plot armor of being 'the chosen one' as there are other adventurers that can continue this task if something happens to her.

2. Making it a series would give us a better idea of how long this journey is and the stakes tied to it. We're meant to believe Moana will be gone from her island for a very long time and may never return. But considering the movie is just as long as the first one and we're only given 1 song to see multiple days pass in their adventure, it doesn't really hit. A good 22 to 24 episode journey would help solidify how vast the trip is and give Moana those doubts on returning home and completing her destiny when this is the longest she's been away.

3. More episodes means more myths and legends to learn which means better world building. I love mythology and getting more time to delve into them, especially with the idea of other wayfinders with their own demigods companions, would help build the world around Moana.

4. Moana 2 has a villian problem. While we do get Nalo, we get little to no time to know them outside of the final battle. We also get a secondary antagonist, Matanagi, but they aren't really a villian because she does end up helping Moana and is kind of a disappointment as a character. With a series, we could see Nalo try to stop Moana and the gang multiple times before their final battle, get more background on him, and maybe even try seeing him convincing one of the crew to go against the others. These multiple interactions can help build the threat of Nalo. And even if the team succeeds at finding Motufetu, Nalo can continie to exist as a grand threat that may have lost a battle, but is preparing for a war. I just miss big Disney villians and I would have loved to see one with a stronger presence. Plus, while Nalo's storm is defeated, he's still around at the end in the mid credits scene to build up a Moana 3, but he still doesn't feel that threatening as a villian.

5. The ending. So, my idea for the season 1 ending is the team finding Motufetu, working with multiple demigods to brave Nalo's storm, and just barely suceed with Moana reaching the island and almost dying as she does in the movie. I would have liked to see Maui give up his demigod status to bring Moana back to life (instead of being stripped of his powers by Nalo in the movie), and not get his demigods status back right after (at least not for another season or 2). Seeing Moana be made a demigod at the end of the movie is interesting and I would like to see how she would navigate this title in future seasons. An additional idea is to have one of Moana's team mates join Nalo at the end of the first season, either from jealousy of Moana being the one to touch the island and fulfill their great destiny first and reach demigod status, or through the season-long slow corruption from Nalo, or both.

6. There will be a Moana 3, but I'm not excited for it. With no build on the big bad, no connection to the supporting cast, Moana being made a demigod with Maui with little to no backlash, there's not much I'm looking forward to seeing. With the series and my suggestions, I'd look forward to seeing what Nalo is up to next, how Moana and her team will take him and their betrayed comrade down, how Maui will handle being a human for the unforeseeable future and Moana learning her new powers as a demigod.

Extra things: Was I the only person who wanted her little sister to be her kid? I know Moana is 19 in Moana 2, but I thought she was in her 20's by the look of the trailer, and I like the idea of a Disney main character being a mom, extra points for Disney if they had the gall to make Moana a single mom. Each time Moana and Simea shared a scene together, I was like, this feels like a parent and child connection instead of a sibling one. While I do have a younger sibling and we get along and are trauma bonded, the relationship between Moana and Simea feels off. Granted, my sibling and I are closer in age and I don't have any personal experience having a younger sibling with such a huge age gap, so maybe this is the normal dynamic between sisters with a big age gap. Personally, I just think those moments of Moana having to leave Simea behind would hit more if she was her kid.

[bagaluten-sys]

☆Forms of amnesia☆

I never related to the word amnesia and when somebody asked I vehemently said "no, of course not" until I realized there are many forms of amnesia and I think everybody should know em. So here we go.

(Order: generelized-, localized-, selective-, emotional-, fragmented-dissociative-, conticious- covert- and systemized amnesia, sources, personal tipps) TW

Generalized amnesia: In generalized amnesia, patients forget their identity and life history—eg, who they are, where they went, to whom they spoke, and what they did, said, thought, experienced, and felt. Some patients can no longer access well-learned skills and lose formerly known information about the world. Generalized dissociative amnesia is rare; it is more common among combat veterans, people who have been sexually assaulted, and others experiencing extreme stress or conflict. Onset is usually sudden.

Localized amnesia: Localized amnesia involves being unable to recall a specific event or events or a specific period of time; these gaps in memory are usually related to trauma or stress. For example, patients may forget the months or years of being abused as a child or the days spent in intense combat

Selective amnesia: Selective amnesia involves forgetting only some of the events during a certain period of time or only part of a traumatic event. Patients may have both localized and selective amnesia.

Emotional amnesia: Emotional amnesia, in essence, is a state where a person struggles to recall or connect with their emotional experiences. It’s not about forgetting facts or events, but rather losing touch with the feelings associated with those memories. Imagine watching a movie without sound – you see the action, but miss the emotional depth that the soundtrack provides

Fragmented amnesia: Fragmented amnesia refers to a type of memory loss where an individual's recollections are incomplete, scattered, or disorganized. Instead of losing an entire block of time or specific memories entirely (as in retrograde or anterograde amnesia), a person with fragmented amnesia may remember certain details while forgetting others

Dissociative amnesia: Dissociative amnesia is a type of dissociative disorder that involves inability to recall important personal information that would not typically be lost with ordinary forgetting. It is usually caused by trauma or stress

Continious amnesia: In continuous amnesia, patients forget each new event as it occurs.Most patients are partly or completely unaware that they have gaps in their memory. They become aware only when personal identity is lost or when circumstances make them aware—eg, when others tell them or ask them about events they cannot remember.

Covert amnesia: Covert Amnesia: This is not a widely used medical term, but it may refer to hidden or unconscious memory loss, where a person does not realize they have forgotten something or represses certain memories (e.g., in dissociative disorders).

Systemized amnesia: In OSDD-1, systematized amnesia often means that specific memories, emotions, or experiences are only accessible to certain identity states or parts, while others remain unaware of them.

(Sources:www.MSDManuals.com-dissociative amnesia, DID.research.org, neverlaunch.com, Dr.Muriel Salmanu, psychiatrist [2018])

PS: there are of course more types and names. For systems the mist important ones to know are often emotional, localized, dissociative, covert and systemized amnesia. I am not a professional, there are even more terms and sub-types.

If youre scared of experiencing this, remember: you system/collective stands with you and you wont be alone. Please take care and correct me if I wrote something wrong. -A.R.

[modmad]

So, if we are talking about continiations of the Oz, I really what to introduce to you some Soviet books... Called "The Wisard of the Emerald Town". Sounds familliar, right? So, some Soviet autors, while trying to translate other books, apparantly went crazy, and created their own retelling of the story, with similar characters, but sometimes entirly diffrent story and meaning (like, original Pinocchio and Soviet "Buratino" have almost nothing in common, but main character being made from wood by Carlo). So, "The Wisard if the Emerald town" is the retelling, and this story is known amongst the russian-speaking kids way better, then the "The Wisard of Oz" (I, for example, only read the Oz in the middle school, as it was our summer homework for English classes). But it does not end there. The autor (Alexandr Volkov) desided not to stop there and wrote... Eight sequels. The last one features alien race attaking "Magical Land" (the name of the "Oz" in the retelling), and the conflict is solved by starting a revolution of the oppressed class of alinens. Yep. Oh, and Scarescrow becomes the leader of the Emerald tower in these series.

Sorry for hijacking your asks with this (probably poor written) infodump about my favorite childhood book...😓

I have learned So much in So little time and I don't know how to handle this information

[lazyeldritchabomination]

Infected Luis Prompt 2

You can find part 1 here

Luis joins Ashley and Leon after they escape the cabin. While they are together the three learn a little more about each other.

Luis is especially drawn to the blond agent. Partly because the plaga sees how strong, efficient and loyal Leon is. Which would make him an excellent partner for them. (it and Luis)

As the journey continious Luis and his plaga become more and more attached to the american and become more and more desperate to remove Sadlers plaga. Because Sadler cant have him, Sadler doesnt understand how important Leon is. How loyal and how brave he is. Sadler wouldnt appreciate Leons wit and dry humor. Sadler wouldnt care.

But they do. They want Leon as he is. They dont want a mindless ganado. They want a partner. And they would be so good to him. Spoil him and love him. They see behind the stoic facade the blodn puts up. They see those lonely, tired blue eyes. They know that lonelyness and they can make it better. Because they want him. They want him they want him they wanthimtheywanttheywanttheywant

They get seperated in Ramons castle.

No matter. Leon is stong and capable.

They will find their pritty mate again soon.

[bunnyflawz]

like when you're traumatized it is because other people have shown you they cannot be trusted, then everyone blames you for being "scared" of trusting again but .... nobody wants to talk about how maybe it isnt possible to heal again bc u need to again learn to connect and trust, but people just continiously hurt you because barely anybody actually is trustworthy. it isnt one person's fault or them simply being scared when the fact is that it is almost impossible to connect and heal because most people are bad ppl and just keep hurting u over and over

[rainee-da]

Hey I like your wroting, pls keep up the good work 🙌🏻 i was wondering why u use emoji for character sometimes tho

Heyy anon thank you so much! I'm glad you like the fics that I made 🍀

I'm not really sure about what you mean by that, but if you're talking about the emoji I put after each character's name, it is indeed intentional and there are interesting reason for it! (at least I think it's interesting lol)

It's gonna be unnecessarily long so read down below if you happen to be interested with this one! (for some reasons)

I'm used to indulge to my fantasy via X (Twitter) a lot, especially since there are many Character X Reader fanarts created by JP's artists being posted on twitter. But in japanese fandom's twitter culture, there are many unspoken rules as to how to tag/title your work for the sake of decluttering/censoring/gatekeeping (idk how to best phrase that lol) and it is especially important to learn it if you want your work to reach to their demographics as well.

As for emojis, many people often used the unofficial fandom's designated emojis to tag their work/tweet/ instead of typing the actual name of the character, this is so they'll not clutter the hastag itself with their artworks/fic. Especially since sometimes there are character with similar names to one character in another fandom / the character's name itself is similar with a certain slang/noun/place.

The best example for this is Epidem from Mashle, since if you put the katakana of his name on twitter search engine you will be directed to a news/threads/tweets that is talking about 'epidemic'. It will be troublesome if someone who doesn't know anything about Mashle ended up finding random fanart about Epidem when they tried to find news related to 'epidemic', right? that's why tagging it with the designated emoji/term for that character will be more preferrable in this case.

If you want to know the designated emoji for each character in Mashle, here are the list of some that I've known;

ADLER DORM

Mash Burnedead = 🍄

Finn Ames = 🐬

Lance Crown = 🪐

Dott Barret = 💥

Lemon Irvine = 🍋

Rayne Ames = ☔

Max Land = 🎈

LANG DORM

Abel Walker = 🪆/🧸

Abyss Razor = 🎭

Wirth Madl = 🕶️

Love Cute = 💗

Milo Genius = 🎓

Olore Andrew = 🦈

Anser Shinri = ⚙️

ORCA DORM

Margarette Macaron = 🎼

Carpaccio Luo-Yang = 🍥

Tron Morceau = 🎺

Cello Morceau = 🎻

DIVINE VISIONARY

Ryoh Grantz = ✨

Orter Madl = ⏳

Kaldo Gehenna = 🍯

Renatus Revol = ✝️

Agito Tyrone = 🐉

Sophina Biblia = 📕

Tsurara Halestone = ❄️

WALKIS ACADEMY

Domina Blowelive = 💧/🌊

Levis Rosequartz = 🧲

Lovie Rosequartz = ⚡

Charles Contini = 📞

Galuf Gargaron = 👅

Kenny Clark = 🧊

Malcolm Curtis = 🪲

MAGOL CASTLE

Innocent Zero = ⏰/🕰️

Cell War = 💎

Doom = 🪞/🥞

Famin = 🤡/🎪/🃏

Epidem = 🍮

Delisaster = 🍾

That is the reason I put certain emoji for certain character. It's just because I often do that when I talk to other ppl about Mashle & I thought it would be nice to apply that to my writing!

There are (obviously) many others that I didn't write here because I didn't know, and I can't say for certain that what I describe up below is the correct explanation for this. For that reason, feel free to leave comments if you wish to add more/correct my post!

Well, that is all. Thank you for reading all of that mumbo-jumbo I just wrote up there 🍀 sorry if it's messy.... i know it is....

[scoundrels-in-love]

ok your turn: for the character game - the mashwood gang, and just to throw a wildcard in there, zazie!

Hiii Sav my darling, what good picks you have. <3

Nicholas D. Wolfwood already done here.

Vash the Stampede

Where to even start, Vash is one of the most complicated, layered characters I've gotten attached to. He gives me headache anytime I try to write him. He is soggy kitten, he is Heaven's wrath incarnate, he is my favorite loser, his swag is unmatched. He needs a smack and world's longest hug at the same time. Monster with the tenderest heart, human with sharpest teeth to sink in your soft hand, just so he wouldn't have to anticipate you wincing at the sight of him. I could go on, you get the gist.

Wolfwood and Meryl. There are some expansions of the polycule that I will read, courtesy of friends, but I am true to Mashwood at the end of the day.

Milly, LivRaz, Luida as family. And in some out of field, fanfic explorations - Zazie. I just think there's so much untapped potential there.

'98/BLR is not my Vash and is hardly Vash at all for most of the story. While I know that some of his lecherous ways were taken from early chapters of Trigun and adapted directly, manga did a lot better job overall balancing tone and energy of him. I don't want to have to keep in mind an essay why supposedly 'he's just faking it as means of another layer of self protection' while internally gagging at every second action of a character.

Vash coming home, finding that place and starting genuine journey of healing. Perhaps us getting us to see how much of it he'd need of it, actually. Can we get a therapist and psychiatrist up in this bitch (NML)?! But there is always fanfiction to make up for this!

Meryl Stryfe

My first impression of her was mixed, but as I purposefully decided to figure her out, I ended up understanding and at times, even identifying with her. Perhaps it was projection, perhaps I am right, but either way, I love her dearly now and think she's very important third piece of the themes that are central to Trigun. About humanity, guilt, choices we continiously make. She completes the Inhuman - made Inhuman through action - Human spectrum of it all and is a fascinating failure that picks herself up continiously, despite immeasurable grief to watch

Vash and Wolfwood. Comes as a bundle, do not separate. Now and then, might read about expanded polycule because of my friends, but I will always return to my roots. And sometimes, in crack-treated-seriously way: Knives or Zazie.

Milly. And Zazie. I think she and LivRaz could strike unusual, but precious friendship, too.

She is not the braincell of the group. She might hold it for brief moments, but then it slips through her very autistic hands and bounces off into new, distant direction. Also I think she hyperfixates on her job in any media as routine and also because it is much easier for her to write than speak. She is not good at people-ing, at all.

Having her trauma explored. This goes for all canons. We touch very briefly on Dragon's Nest impact or how she feels about letting Tonis go, but her grief and guilt is barely a fifth fiddle to Vash's central suffering in narrative. And I think it is so important and also amazing way to juxtaposition her, fresh to this, versus Vash's ancient, yet continiously piling guilt. And where they can comfort each other about this, where they can heal together and where their approaches differ. Perhaps in next season we can have her Julai guilt, about Roberto, about not killing Conrad for what he's done to Wolfwood, before he does all that to Vash, etc. Just... More of Meryl, I suppose?

Zazie the Beast

I want their gender. So badly. If I'd read Trimax as a teenager, I think I'd have imprinted on them so badly, their design is so highly fitting some of my OCs that I'd have made them a faceclaim and inspiration for sure. There is something so beautiful, tragic and haunting about a collective of minds coming together to protect, learn and grow as a person. They are a god in their own right.

In very unlikely, practically crack-treated-seriously way: Meryl.

Most of all, Meryl. But I think Vash and Wolfwood are fascinating options as well, particularly Vash.

I... Don't think I have one? But I do stand by my headcanon that they keep an eye on Meryl through the two years and onward, perhaps visit and bond with her. Also, we just need more of Zazie, always.

I am holding out hope for this to happen in TriStamp/TriGaze, but in Trimax, I wish they'd had a chance to speak with human (Meryl) or Vash about the transience and immortality, about being something beyond comprehension, yet becoming more and more human as time and engagement goes on. There are fascinating parallels to be had between them and Independents, as being that are practically gods clash and work together over the same shared space, dealing with the fleetingly lived humanity. I'd give so much for Meryl to become a sort of ambassador of the Wyrms and help create a better future for both them and humanity.

Give me a character?<3

[kleefkruid]

I was waiting by the single stall in a coffee place and I could hear a continious muted voice in there so I was like "weird place to have an entire phone conversation but ok" but then when I got into the stall I found out they actually play a podcast about coffee on a loop in there. Did you know coffee beans grown in high altitude have a different taste due to the reduced air intake of the plants. Pissing and learning here

[vaya-writes]

1 and 19 for the ask game!

The last sentence I wrote:

True to his word, his sinuous(?) tale has an anchoring effect, and Briar is able to step across more easily. It helps knowing that Isen is close at hand to grab her if she stumbles.  

And the most interesting topic I've researched for a fic?

I do research cool things all the time but I do forget most of them after I've done my world building or small detailing. Like this week I learned that there are two high tides and two low tides in a day, which I had to research because Briar and Isen are currently travelling on a river by boat.

I liked learning about the different types of caves, different types of wetlands, different evolutionary adaptions in snakes and lizards.

But the two fun facts that stick with me are that many snakes and lizards have hemipenes, and that chlorophorm has a sickly sweet smell and needs to be continiously applied to actually keep a person unconcious.

[the-fire-within0]

Hi! This is my feedback for the free reading.

First of all, thank you for the reading. I'm so happy with how positive it came out. To be honest, I'm both excited and nervous for this job but I know one thing: I really want it. When you mentioned me being a curious person, you were on point with it because I'm the type of person who could get obsessive with researching topics I'm interested in. I'm also someone who needs to be continiously intellectually stimulated. I was so surprised when you mentioned new beginnings because you were right literally and figuratively. This is a new beginning for me since it's my first time professionally teaching, and at the same time, I've had other readings whick kept on telling me I will have a new beginning.

Also, I'm so grateful when you mentioned brining new perspectives to my students and the material I come across because one thing I was sure with myself, I want to be the kind of teacher who actually makes student interested to learn and not scared and focused on just reaching a certain grade level. This was so reassuring. I also love how the reading shows how I'll express myself more and that's something I'm looking forward to doing.

So far, everything mentioned makes me excited to teach and learn with my students and just my career in general. Thanks for this once again 😊

Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback! I'm thrilled that the reading resonated with you and captured your current energy and aspirations. It's great to hear that I was able to tap into your curious and driven nature, and that the theme of new beginnings is especially relevant for you right now. 🖤

I'm honoured to have been a part of your journey and wish you all the best for your new adventure in teaching!