#conventional even

[mommysorryshizun]

shen qingqiu eats a dessert meant for luo binghe at a dinner party, and is filled with the burning, painful urge to fuck his husband and *knock him up*!!!! and luo binghe is all too happy to come along for the ride. they assume that’ll be all. you know, like it usually is! aphrodisiac, sexy times! nothing more to worry about. especially seeing as they’re both men. but in the next three months binghe begins to notice strange symptoms. 

insane cravings. a softness to his belly that he’s never noticed before. lethargy. an unnaturally tender chest. after a few weeks, binghe can no longer hide the frequent vomiting and headaches, so shizun rushes him to mu qingfang. the stallion protagonist never gets sick! it must be serious. surprised to see the two, qingfang presses two fingers to binghe’s pulse to quickly assess his qi. he makes a strange face.

“what is it?” shen qingqiu worries over binghe’s shoulder. mu qingfang shakes his head. this can’t be good. he tries to get a read on binghe’s qi again. 

“huh…” mu qingfang says aloud, looking between binghe and shen qingqiu’s worried faces. “you. luo binghe. ah. let me run one more test.” 

“what is it?” shen qingqiu hisses, but mu qingfang ignores him in favour of picking up a small bowl.

“please urinate in this,” mu qingfang says as seriously as he can, handing the bowl to luo binghe. luo binghe raises a sceptical brow, but complies, heading to the back room. 

from the other room, binghe can hear the vague clamouring of his shizun arguing with mu qingfang. it would be almost endearing to hear shizun fuss over him if he wasn’t feeling so unwell. he returns with the urine sample. mu qingfang does- something with it. liquid goes in, the colour changes. rice, maybe? when all is done mu qingfang leans heavily against his table with a loud sigh. 

“luo binghe,” mu qingfang mutters gravely. “all tests indicate that you’re fifteen weeks pregnant.” 

“what?!!!” shen qingqiu splutters, face turning red. luo binghe hesitates before resting a gentle hand on his belly. oh. oh. he smiles deviously. 

safe to say luo binghe adjusts to pregnant life very quickly. a series of loose, maternity-appropriate robes quickly fill their home. he takes to wandering around the bamboo house singing to and crooning over their little one. 

shen qingqiu frantically learns any and every recipe binghe can stomach. he shaves down and lacquers the sharp corners of the low dining table, of their bed frame. reads every book he can find on pregnancy. from the day of diagnosis luo binghe is not allowed to clean, cook, pick anything up. he’s only allowed to train on qingjing’s private grounds. no more hunting!

mobei jun is deeply amused by his lord’s absence. and appetite. he could probably literally eat a horse now. sha hualing insists it will be a girl and when presenting gifts to the expecting parents at luo binghe’s palace she offers fine silk swaddling in reds, pinks, and gold. she even provides little pink dresses for the young mistress when she’s old enough to stand. 

this is, of course, in direct conflict with liu mingyan's prediction that it will be a boy. she tries desperately to outdo sha hualing, showering the couple with blues and greens and muted greys. shang qinghua discourages mobei jun from giving luo binghe said horse to eat, instead suggesting an assortment of demonic playthings, including a rattle that is so loud it makes the ground shake. 

luo binghe cries hysterically when liu qingge shows up with a beautiful handmade cot. it’s perfect. so perfect. 

a month later, luo binghe gives birth to a plump little girl with rosy cheeks, a full head of hair, and intense brown eyes. she blinks dumbly up at her mama’s tear-streaked cheeks and wails. luo binghe has never been happier. (and secretly, he invests in convincing the aphrodisiac poisoner in question to procure another dose. maybe shen qingqiu will carry this time.)

[vickillaman]

Pussy has led this poor girl to places she wouldn’t even go with a rifle

[paintedcrows]

Unintended consequence of creating my own Bill... He watches me draw now...

The Horrible Triangle in question:

[aardvaark]

i don’t mind suspending my disbelief for leverage’s person-sized ventilation shafts bc that’s pretty standard for the genre, but that doesn’t mean i won’t laugh a bit at some of the egregiously large vents. particularly in the crowning acheivement job (lev: red s2 finale) because - well just look at this lol! harry and parker, two adults, can kneel side by side in those vents. parker can sit upright.

that museum was made for vent crawling purposes. that’s just an extra room in the museum they forgot to decorate. the leverageverse has a thief union that successfully lobbied for a better working environment. these vents double as a playground for museum-goers’ children. i was crying with laughter thinking about this and harry’s vent crisis was NOT helping me remember that there was a serious heist thing going on lol, i love this show.

[ministarfruit]

yuri month day 4: I want you to hate me ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

[sherdnerd]

This posted in the forum under the proscription list

[cosmic-chat]

The continuation show for Fairly Odd Parents is so good!! Please support the official release on Netflix if you can🙏

[edorazzi]

Finally time for more Tracy Island comics!!! ✨🏝️✨

In which Gordon gets a little too intense on a longhaul flight with Alan; and Virgil is so good at remembering to reload Pod 4 but sometimes the simplest things just slip your mind!

John has a few emergency solutions but Gordon CANNOT miss his TV show and will kill him if Troy Tempest swoops in with the Stingray sub, all dashing and heroic to "rescue" his old co-pilot. So John will have to grit his teeth and agree to another of Lady Penelope's fancy social gatherings... 🪦

[mayasaura]

I'm a sucker for Hilbert and Eiffel's weird relationship especially bc there's a very good reason Eiffel becomes so fixated on the humanity of this guy who has very badly hurt him. He offers a redemption Hilbert doesn't even want because he has to believe that no crime can strip a person of their human dignity or their right to live. There is no threshold of transgression at which a human being becomes a monster, and deserves to suffer for it.

And that's because the only reason Eiffel's even there on the U.S.S. Human Trafficking is because someone else already judged him, convicted felon Doug Eiffel, to have crossed that threshold. He was that monster. And he didn't deserve it.

[lcl-cultist]

[ketsunekii]

my idea of romance is not going out to a café and kissing in the morning light (although that is cute as hell)

my idea of romance is sharing blood and causing pain to each other but trusting they'll never go too far and will stop upon request

my idea of romance is touching their every rib while they're stretched so you can see the bones through the skin, and the touch makes them squirm

my idea of romance is looking and adoring every vein, every epidermal pattern of their body, how they work, being fascinated with each others’ biology

[crabsnpersimmons]

new tag game: rewrite your fic/AU title in the form of one of those really long manga/light novel titles (the longer and sillier the better)

here are mine:

"New 'Do, Same You" -> "Working at My Aunt's Hair Salon with my Three Weird (Hot?) Robot Coworkers"

"Rain or Shine" -> "I'm a Single Parent to Two Robot Kids and I Have No Idea What I'm Doing!"

"Have You Eaten?" -> "I Just Wanted a Nice Meal at My Favourite Restaurant But My Waiter is too Charming?"

no pressure tagging:

@starriegalaxy @craykaycee @vacantfields @spadillelicious @scarredlove and whoever else wants to play!

[theatre-apocalypse]

I return bringing half-infected Paul

[rivtictics]

Some Wilford portraits that went kind of out of track

And an idea I had for a cool drawing but I don't think I'm gonna ever attempt actually doing fully

[utane]

Ever wanted a print of this handsome devil signed by @jakvox himself ?

Well now you can also find art by yours truly on his Streamily page ! 👀

[the-nightshift-radio]

Everyday I get closer and closer to writing a compiled meta about why as much as yunmeng bros is a interesting dynamic and a fine personal preference the insistence that it's the ONLY valid understanding of their relationship and calling Chengxian real genuine incest and needs to be tagged as such is wrong and also really flattens and erases the depth and nuance in their relationship both on a personal and like societal level.