#cordelia writes

[typingwithmyhandstied]

Hi! So I wrote another fanfiction for FLF. This one is a band AU. I only have one part done, and there will probably be more. This can stand for itself though, so I thought I'd post it!

So yeah, I'd appreciate it if anyone reads it! I hope you like it if you do.

And thank you to @writergracethepanda for BETA reading.

[this-tastes-lemony]

Falsettos Food Theory

Okay so someone asked what this is and I really wanna explain! So the falsettos food theory is that food represents love throughout the Marvin trilogy.

In the show, In Trousers, Marvin is very strict about what kind of food he wants, and he gets very upset when he doesn’t get it imminently or the way he wants. For example, in the song ‘How Marvin Eats his Breakfast” there is the lyric,

“No one looks busy in this kitchen

And my breakfast isn't ready

And my stomach aches.”

This is in reference to that no one at that moment is giving him the love that he wants, and that he aches for it. Later in the song he also says ,

“I don't want miracles from heaven

Just some eggies over spinach over toast

No, I will not apologize!

She should win a prize:

Very best emoting

That girl can't cook”

When he says the first line he doesn’t literally mean he just wants a basic breakfast, he means that he doesn’t want much, he just wants to feel loved. By saving “that girl can’t cook” he doesn’t mean she’s lousy at making food, he means that she doesn’t give him the kind of love that he wants. One of the other ladies says

“maybe she can’t cook, but have you seen her milk a cow?” Implying that sexually she “provides” to Marvin, even if he doesn’t romantically like her (obviously this means nothing, just because they can be sexually active does not mean that it is love).

Another one is in Whizzer Going Down he says,

“he hates my wife

I hate his food”.

He’s saying he hates when Whizzer shows him love because he is not ready to accept the fact that he can be loved and he can love another man.

There are many more references of this in the show In Trousers and if anyone wants to hear them I’ll gladly go into it in another post!!

The ones in Falsettos are even more obvious references to love. In the song Tight Knit Family, Marvin sings,

“We all eat as one

Wife, friend, and son

And I sing out as they cook

I love my tight-knit family

I love the way they cook linguine”

They all eat as one meaning they are all receiving love from one another, even if it isn’t good. The next line being “I sing out as they cook” (singing out meaning to say or shout something loudly, most likely implying the unhealthy relationship he’s in with his family) this line is saying that while they provide him love and what ever he asks, he continues to complain about it.

However, in the next line he says “I love the way they cook linguine” which is a considered normal traditional meal for a lot people. This is showing that he enjoys when they provide him with basic normal love, instead of arguing or disagreeing with him.

Another reference later on in the musical is in the ENTIRETY of the song “This Had Better Come To A Stop”. The first set of unique lyrics though is what I’ll cover.

“Whizzer's supposed to always be here

Making dinner, set to screw

That's what pretty boys should do

Check their hairlines, make the dinner

And love me”

This is saying that Whizzer is supposed to always be at Marvin’s command, loving him and giving himself to Marvin sexually at all times. He mentions making dinner twice in these lyrics, again implying that he doesn’t want Whizzers love unless it’s later in the day once he’s gotten his love from his other family ( breakfast specifically).

Another general reference to food equaling love is Cordelia’s entire character. All she does throughout the show is provide food and such to the characters, this being her giving them constant love. Since Cordelia was giving Marvin so much food (presumably) during the two year gap during intermission, we can assume that her unique and (sometimes) not so great food taught him that he doesn’t always get to choose what to eat, but that he should be greatful someone is cooking for him anyway. I think Cordelia is one of the most amazing characters in the story.

For all of the song “Days Like This” she’s trying to get Whizzer to eat something, meaning she’s trying to share her love with him.

In the song “Jason’s Bar Mitzvah”, Dr. Charlotte says

“She's cooked for some 200 guests

[CORDELIA]

We number not that many

Actually... we're seven”

This shows that she has provided so much love for all of these people, even though there’s only seven. Only a couple lines later, she tries the food Cordelia made, and says that the food “tastes really yummy.” (in the pro shot Trina nods her head to agree).

This is important to me because it shows that Cordelia finally found a way to show/express her love with the rest of the characters, and have them reciprocate it for the first time on stage, showing that they are all at peace and finally love each other.

Just like in trousers there are hundreds of more references in Falsettos so if any of you would like me to go more into it I’d be happy to!

This is all speculation of course, we don’t know if any of this was intentional, buts it’s by far my favorite thing to talk about that’s falsettos related. Hope you enjoyed reading!

[stayevildarling]

wait?!?! you‘re considering writing for wandanat??😩 omg!! can you please write them with reader x cordelia goode!! maybe something angsty where reader gets hurt on a mission or something and tries to play it down

Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff x Cordelia Goode x Reader- One too many secrets

A/N: I have honestly been captured by marvel and wandanat. I couldn't help writing for them but I wanted to keep some of my ,,normal'' writing in there so I added Cordelia. This is my first time obviously writing Natasha and Wanda so I have no clue whether this is accurate or makes a lot of sense. Let me know what you think though as I quite enjoyed this 🫶🏻

tags/warnings: female reader, established relationship, quad polyamorous relationship, mention of violence, mention of gunshot, mention of blood, cursing, angst, fluff

translation: detka= baby, malishka= baby girl , zlatko= sweetheart

word count: 4.5k

taglist: (if you want to be added just sent me an ask/dm or comment)

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay , @whitelotus00 , @ninaahs , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @paulsonsratched , @stepintomyworld , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometime , @ohrwurm26 , @wastdstime

Todays mission had started out like any other mission, a quick briefing first, Tony talking you through most of the details and that you and the others had got this. Gathering your things before walking towards one of the quinjets and getting going. The last time you had both seen Wanda and Cordelia was two days ago now, travelling back and forth to the avengers compound and getting some training and exercise in, as well as greeting and chatting to some old friends.

They hated it, well Wanda only really did when she wasn't able to come along, however she had been stuck on another mission for the past few days and pretty much only got back when the two of you had to leave. Cordelia hated it altogether, she had met the avengers briefly and the three of you tried to be as open and communicative as possible, knowing the blonde wouldn't be able to cope with her crippling anxiety and worry otherwise. So, you had taken her to the compound a few times, getting to meet Tony and some of the others there. And despite the man even offering her to join them all, she refused, too busy with her own responsibilities of leading Miss Robichaux's Academy as their headmistress but also their supreme.

Cordelia was also your supreme, teaching you the basics years ago when you were dropped at the academy and didn't understand your powers and why no one wanted you. Somehow you stumbled upon the avengers, Wanda first before meeting everyone else and somehow getting caught in between it all. This was for sure never the life you had imagined, thinking you would grow old in the academy alongside Cordelia. However, a certain ginger and redhead somehow didn't only sweep you off your feet but equally the blonde sunshine that had been in your life for years. And so, the four of you slowly and with a few ups and downs along the way, built your life together, both away from the avengers compound and the academy, enjoying a more quiet and private space, rather than constantly being around people. Natasha's flying skills allowed her to easily move between places and Cordelia and Wanda's magic, as well as yours allowed the three of you to get wherever you wanted quickly.

As the quinjet prepares for landing, you glance at Natasha, who sits in the cockpit with Clint and you can't help but the small smile escaping you as you see her in her element. She loved this and you knew she did, however she especially enjoyed when her detka came along on missions. She had seen Wanda's magic on missions of course and her eyes always widened in that exact same way, disbelief, admiration and the slight shock. However your magic was different, so much lighter and beautiful and she enjoyed whenever she got to watch you or the supreme. It took a while to get you to where you are, Natasha training you to be her own little assassin and teaching you everything she had ever known and learned over the span of her life. She wanted to make sure you could protect yourself, hating the thought of anything ever happening to you and her not teaching you properly beforehand.

Your two girlfriends were utterly different. Sometimes when missions allowed it, the three of you would join in together. Wanda always fussed over you, often checking in with her magic to feel you close by when she couldn't see you. Not necessarily liking the thought of you doing all of these big adult things before Natasha had talked her out of those concern. Natasha let you do your own thing, trusting your abilities, magic and what she had taught you enough. However, her green eyes always lingered nearby, making sure someone wasn't getting a little too close to you, that the avengers didn't push you too much and didn't expect too much of you. She thought of you as a privilege to have around and help out and she made sure to treat you like that.

,,Ready Malishka?'' you hear her whisper as she brushes past, turning to smile at you before she follows the others. ,,Ready'' you assure with a smile, slightly taken back by her outfit and how badass she looked, especially with the flaming red hair, her smell lingering as she walks past and reminding you of home.

It really was supposed to be a quick in and out, Clint, Natasha and some others clearing the way for you, getting rid of some guards lingering nearby before getting to the big guys. Once inside, it was your job to finish the interrogation part, assuming they wouldn't talk and the avengers relying on you to use your Telepathy, read their minds and making them spill all the secrets, they would surely die for to protect. And it almost seemed a little too easy, as the three of you, including some backup cleared the way and eventually had the guys exactly where you wanted them. Bucky and Natasha tying them to some chairs before asking their questions, you eventually joining in and making them spill all their secrets. You had gotten what you wanted, Natasha filling in Tony who stayed behind, content with what you had gathered.

Yet, somehow you had missed something. Maybe it was due to the fact that you thought danger was averted, maybe you had been too taken back by your girlfriend and how both badass and beautiful she was or maybe it was the thought of relief and thinking you could return to your other two girlfriends waiting at home after finishing your mission reports once returned. It must have either been the cameras or the guys somehow alerting backup and almost as the four of you made it back, more guards appeared in front of you, heavily armed and ready to fight. Natasha was the first to notice, quickly tackling the first two running around the corner, Clint shooting some of his arrows, making some more fly across the floor. And you equally used your magic, making the new wave of them fly across the hallway and knocking them unconscious, Natasha watching and smirking in adoration.

As Natasha winks at you, she watches as your face turns serious, the three of them expecting danger to be averted as it had been deadly silent. However, your magic was quick to alert you that you had missed something, sending an all too familiar shiver down your spine and the feeling of doom that was nearby. You were no supreme, and usually this was a power that only Cordelia and Wanda managed to use. ,,Incoming'' you quickly alert them, their faces growing serious with concern. As you look around you, trying to find the obvious sign of what was going on, you glance around only to find another flood of them coming basically out of nowhere. ,,Fucking hell'' Natasha curses before the four of you get back into action, fighting to get out of there as really your mission was done and successful. Again you use your magic to send most of them shooting across the hallway and into the nearest wall.

However as you glance at Natasha, you watch her surrounded by some big guys, and despite the Russian definitely not needing your assistance, you can't help the overwhelming feeling of wanting to keep her safe. In a swift motion, you send half of them flying across the floor, quickly teleporting near her. ,,Nice one'' she praises as she chuckles. The room fills with the sound of more grunting and gunshots as the last wave of guards attempt to stop you from exiting with all the informations you had gathered. It doesn't take too long before the four of you manage to send them to the floor as well. Caught in the heat of it all, you had missed the excruciating pain you felt on your back, swallowing the lump in your throat and ignoring the obvious signs of pain and shock your body was alerting you of.

,,Detka, you okay?'' Natasha reassures as you exit the building and make your way towards the quinjet. ,,All good'' you smile, before she buckles you into your seat and begins taking you all back home. You should have said something, the pain increasing by the minute and causing your vision to blur slightly as you feel the throbbing pain in your shoulder. You had always been a little stubborn, not wanting to show weakness in front of them as especially your girlfriends lifes so far had been filled with nothing but pain and grief. And you never wanted to add to it, always making sure to help them out in whatever way you could, whether it was helping Nat with training, Cordelia with the academy or Wanda with things she was doing around the house.

Before your eyes feel heavier by the minute, you manage to linger your hand over the source of the pain, your magic slowly easing it a little before you allow your eyes to close. Your healing magic for sure was nothing compared to Wanda or Delia's and so the only thing it managed to do is ease the pain, lulling you to sleep a little, however the bullet remaining inside your shoulder, as well as blood dripping slowly down the inside of your clothing. It doesn't take long before you make it back, the quinjet allowing you to travel through the sky in no time before making it back to headquarters. As Natasha gets ready to follow the others, her eyes land on your sleeping form, still strapped into your seat and she can't help but frown, knowing how tiring and exhausting missions could be. ,,Detka, wake up'' she tries softly, nudging your shoulder moments later in an attempt to wake you.

As the pain shoots through your body again, your eyes widen, your mouth slightly agape but quickly composing yourself as you see the concerned green eyes from your girlfriend in front of you. She had noticed of course, ever the perceptive one, how your face was much paler, eyes filled with pain and the slight wincing when she had woken you moments ago. ,,Are you okay?'' she tries again, before you quickly nod, unbuckling your seatbelt and quick on your feet. Despite the dizzy spell, you take your girlfriends hand and lead her outside, following the others as you wanted nothing more than to get home. The redhead knew you to be stubborn, even secretive at times and she could tell something was up, assuming that maybe you indeed were simply tired and worn out after today, unbeknownst of the wound and the blood that continued dripping down the inside of your uniform.

The meeting following after, as well as the mission report feel like an eternity and you can't help but seek the comfort of your girlfriend. Mid meeting you had subconsciously reached for her hand underneath the table and she squeezed it tight, you not usually the affectionate type, especially when it was outside of your home and sacred, safe walls. After another hour, Natasha is quick to guide the two of you outside and back home, noticing how with each minute passing you seem more tired and practically falling asleep on her shoulder. She couldn't help but admire how comfortable you seem, resting your head on her and how her presence noticeably made you feel safe. She had taken a mental note to get either Wanda or Cordelia to check on you after this mission, making sure that you didn't get hurt, whether that was physically or something bothering you else wise.

,,Malishka, we're home'' the voice of your girlfriend softly awakens you, your eyes quickly falling shut again as the pain continued to pierce through you and almost take your breath away.

,,Come on sleepyhead'' she tries again, chuckling a little before you follow her inside, your heart beating a little faster as you think about getting to see your girlfriends in a moment.

As soon as the two of you step inside, the air is filled with both Cordelia and Wanda's cooking. You can't help but smile, assuming that Delia had cooked dinner and Wanda probably baked something, the two of them enjoying greeting you like that after a long mission. ,,Hi there'' Cordelia beams, greeting Natasha with a kiss on the cheek, before opening her arms to you. ,,Hi sweetheart'' Cordelia coos, as you practically fall into her arms, the exhausting heavy on your features and tired body. ,,There are my two favourite girls'' Wanda chuckles softly upon laying eyes on you both.

,,How did it go?'' Wanda asks curiously, not really having been able to think about much other than the two of you and the mission, despite Cordelia trying to distract her. ,,All good, our detka kicked ass'' Natasha chuckles, causing Wanda to smirk a little and Cordelia to smile proudly.

The supreme could tell there was something bothering you, her senses and the love she feels for you, instantly alerting her of something. However she wasn't quite sure what but the way you had held onto her for a second longer than your usual greeting hug, the way your eyes looked a little different and missed the usual sparkle and just your overall form. ,,Are you two hungry?'' Wanda tries, watching as Natasha is quick to toss her jacket away, having already showered at the compound but you insisting on showering at home. ,,Shower first please'' you manage to mumble out, before the three of them share a knowing glance. ,,Of course sweetheart'' Cordelia softly assures before you walk towards the bedroom. ,,Need any help zlatko?'' Wanda tries but you simply shake your head, thankfully declining her offer.

As soon as the shower is to be heard, Wanda and Cordelia simultaneously glance at Natasha, who stands by the kitchen counter, already stuffing some of the cookies that Wanda had made into her mouth. ,,What?'' she shrugs, her two girlfriends not being able to hide the smirk at her adorable antics. ,,How did that mission go Nat? really?'' Wanda tries, her and the blonde sharing the same concern over you. ,,It was good'' Natasha begins speaking, trying to swallow the cookies before getting scolded for speaking with her mouth full. ,,Y/N was great- as always'' she reassures before she meets their concerned glances. ,,I think she's tired, she fell asleep pretty much as we headed back and she's been a bit clingy since'' the redhead announces, before taking another mouthful of cookies and Wanda raises an eyebrow in return.

A set of green eyes meet Cordelia's brown ones, Wanda sharing the concern over you and knowing it had always been important to you to keep this professional, especially when around the others. Meanwhile you had somehow managed to get inside the shower, washing most of the blood and dirt away from the day, despite the soaring pain that was hard to ignore by now. It took you a while to wash yourself, really only having one arm available to do so. Before you know it, you find yourself half dressed, in front of the bathroom mirror, on your tip toes, trying hard to get a good look on your wound and trying to determine what you needed to do in order to heal it with your magic abilities. However as you try to turn a little, another wave of dizziness washes over you, causing you to stumble forwards and grip towards the sink, causing the several shampoo, conditioner and soap bottles to fall to the ground with an alarming noise.

,,Sweetheart, are you alright?'' you hear the voice of your blonde girlfriend moments later, internally cursing yourself for being so stupid and knowing they would be furious if they found out like this now. ,,Darling?'' Wanda tries next, and despite wanting nothing more than to answer, to reassure that you are fine and make the worry very evident in their voices, go away, you couldn't. The dizziness held a tight grip around you, making it impossible to open your eyes, the bright light only adding to your state. The pain causing the lump in your throat to get bigger, tears beginning to spill almost if your eyes had been open. It takes mere seconds before the door bursts open and you are unsure in your state whether you had locked it to begin with, unsure whether Natasha had simply kicked in the door, or whether your other two girlfriends had used their magic to open the door.

,,Y/N'' Cordelia calls out, watching your frame as you grip harder around the sink, Wanda's eyes immediately landing on your shoulder and seeing the blood and wound. They are quick to rush over, Wanda also calling for Natasha and the redhead quick to equally jolt towards the bathroom. ,,What happened?'' the redhead speaks with concern, before her eyes lay upon you. ,,Dammit detka'' she curses, finally understanding what had happened and why you had been so quiet. ,,Alright, sweetheart, let's sit you down'' Cordelia tries softly, despite the panic very evident in her voice and features. Wanda and Natasha are quick to get you to sit down, careful of your injury. ,,Looks like it's still in there'' the redhead remarks, having seen her fair share of gunshots in her line of work. ,,You can fix this right?'' she asks, her voice betraying the hint of worry as the color continues draining from your face.

Wanda and Cordelia's gazes meet, certain they can fix this but determining how. Their magics worked quite differently and while it would take healing potions and swamp mud for Cordelia to fix it, it pretty much only takes a flick of Wanda's wrist to fix your injury and so she is quick to light her hands in a red color before the blood and bullet slowly fade, making the wound disappear altogether. Cordelia watches in awe, Natasha watching in relief as your shoulder is back to normal due to Wanda's magical abilities. ,,Darling, are you alright?'' the scarlet witch questions softly, noticing your face still a little pale and face scrunched up in pain. In reality, you felt more guilty than anything, knowing they would be upset with you now, the pain still lingering on your shoulder due to the impact and how long it had been there. ,,Fine, thank you'' you manage to mumble, before Cordelia is quick to help you on your feet and finish getting you dressed.

As the supreme leads you back towards the bedroom, offering you some rest after the shock from today, you can already hear your other girlfriends voices raising from the room next door. ,,Nat, calm down'' Wanda tries softly, noticing how the redhead was visibly upset, pacing back and forth the living room, her fists clenched. ,,No- she should have talked to me for gods sake''. Cordelia frowns watching your guilty eyes and the tears threatening to spill any moment, despite the fatigue and sleepiness very visible in your features and tired eyes. ,,You get some rest darling and we'll be right here'' the supreme reassures, tugging you in a little and pressing a soft, comforting kiss on your forehead.

,,Enough'' the blonde scolds as she makes her way back towards the living room. Natasha simply rolls her eyes, Wanda's concerned eyes following the redhead as she continues pacing. ,,She could have jeopardised the whole mission'' the redhead sighs before she continues speaking ,,If one of us gets hurt, we tell the other one'' she sighs now, the anger slowly subsiding from her features before it turns into hurt, her eyes glistening with tears. ,,Hey hey'' Wanda tries, moving towards her girlfriend before taking her shaky hands into her steady ones. ,,Our little one certainly is good at keeping secrets'' Wanda begins, Cordelia nodding in agreement. ,,But I'm sure she just wanted to keep everyone safe'' Wanda tries reasoning with her girlfriends, despite feeling furious herself, given what could have happened.

,,I didn't see it, I thought she was tired'' Natasha sighs again, almost mumbling the words as a tear falls down her cheek. ,,Honey-'' Cordelia coos, quick to wipe the tear from her girlfriends features. ,,Like Wands here said, she's stubborn but you couldn't have known'' they reassure, slowly coaxing the avenger out of her shell and state. ,,I'm sure you must be hungry darling'' the blonde tries softly, before some guilty puppy eyes meet her brown ones. ,,Come on'' Wanda chuckles, taking Natasha's hand and leading her towards the dining room.

By the time you finally awaken from your slumber, your eyes eventually closing as dark shades of orange and red flooded your bedroom from the sunset, it's now replaced by a darkness. The only light source, a little lamp in the corner of your bedroom. When you turn a little, you notice both the absence of your girlfriends but also of the pain. Wanda's magic really did wonders to your state, as you can move freely without the slightest pain, despite a headache lingering. Slowly, you move the blanket from your tired body, despite feeling sleepy, wanting to be close to your girls and knowing you owed them an apology. As you walk past the dresser, you reach for a cardigan, feeling a little chilly and instantly noticing how it must be Wanda's as her scent and perfume lingers around you, instantly making you feel calm and at home.

As you step through the hallway, glancing at the countless artwork on the walls, as well as the photo wall that Wanda had added a while ago, both dorky selfies and official photos from either of you at events, you smile a little, recalling each day as if it had been yesterday. Your sleep didn't last too long, as by the time your eyes meet them, the three of them are still sitting by the dining table, having finished their meals not too long ago. With a smile, you watch Wanda bringing over the tray of cookies, Cordelia already getting a head start on the dishes. ,,Hi detka'' Wanda greets you softly as she notices you hovering by the doorframe.

,,Hi'' you mumble, the guilt very evident in your voice as your eyes fall upon both Cordelia and Wanda, still avoiding Natasha's gaze as you knew she was furious with you. ,,Are you hungry baby girl?'' the witch questions, causing you to simply nod a little shily before Cordelia reaches for your plate that she had kept warm for you. Hesitantly, you sit beside your girlfriend, Wanda joining the blonde with doing the dishes, knowing you and the redhead could use some quiet to talk this through, knowing you both to be stubborn. You gaze is dropped onto your plate, as you take slow and hesitant bites, despite feeling like starving, suddenly feeling like not eating under Natasha's gaze, the guilt consuming you and nagging at your insides. ,,Detka?'' she tries softly, seeing the genuine remorse in your eyes and feeling bad for her earlier outburst after the two had managed to calm her down.

,,Yeah?'' you whisper softly, your eyes already filling with tears. ,,Can you look at me?'' she tries, hating to see you like this and not having you meet her gaze. As soon as your eyes land upon the redhead, your vision fills with tears and she is quick to move her chair back, allowing you access to settle on her lap. ,,Come here'' she ushers and you comply, quickly getting comfortable on her lap, before holding onto her, as her strong arms wrap around yours. ,,It's okay malishka'' she reassures as she notices you sniffling in her embrace. ,,I'm sorry'' you choke on a sob, pathetically holding onto the hem of her shirt as your guilty eyes meet hers, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with todays events, despite usually being able to stay strong for your girlfriends. However, the thought of upsetting, displeasing your partners killed you inside as all you ever wanted was to make them happy, proud and content.

,,Why didn't you tell me?'' she asks softly after your cries eventually quieten down, listening to her steady heartbeat. Her tone is soft, the question sounding more curious and concerned than stern or angry and you could tell. ,,I just hate letting anyone down'' you sigh, not necessarily knowing how to put your feelings into words. ,,Detka, you didn't let anyone down, you made sure we got out of there'' she reassures, recalling your badass actions. A moment of silent follows, Cordelia and Wanda watching the exchange and a sad smile forming on their lips, seeing you two so closely, despite your pain. ,,What is it, really?'' she tries again, knowing you long enough by now to know that this wasn't the whole truth.

As you glance around, you watch as Cordelia gives you an encouraging smile, still cleaning the kitchen but obviously following the exchange between you two. ,,I just never want to burden you three'' you finally sigh, some more tears streaming from your features. Natasha's eyebrows furrow in confusion, not understanding your statement, considering the four of you had always been so loyal, so honest with each other. And you pick it up, her hesitation, the confusion washing over her face. And you knew if you had told the same to Wanda or your Delia they would have understood, knowing what it feels like to be a burden due to their past. But Natasha was tougher, fierce, being able to work out her demons on her own and having worked through her past mostly on herself.

,,I-'' you hesitate but feel Natasha's hand reaching for yours and squeezing it in a reassuring manner. ,,The three of you have been through enough and I thought I could fix it on my own'' you admit and you watch as her face almost crumbles, finally understanding your actions. And Natasha hated your statement, she hated how you put them first, their pain and grief and past before your own. She wanted to simply hold you and never let you go, tell you that they and she always want to know, always want to take care of you and never having you hide these things. ,,Detka'' she begins, taking a deep breath and hooking her finger underneath your chin so you can look into her green eyes.

,,Detka, you mean the world to us and we never want you to hide from us, we want to be there for you, just like you are always there for us three'' she reassures, watching your eyes and wanting to make sure you understand her statement. ,,Besides darling, you are a witch, not some super soldier'' she chuckles a little ,,Did you really think you could fix this without us noticing'' and your guilty puppy eyes meet her own yet again. ,,I'm just glad you're okay'' she reassures before holding you a little tighter and you finally manage to relax in her touch.

It doesn't take long, before Wanda and Cordelia join the two of you again, the supreme giving you a reassuring and proud smile for opening up, knowing it wasn't your strong suit. Wanda doing the same towards Natasha, glad the redhead had managed to calm down and talk this through with their detka. ,,Can I have a cookie now?'' you frown, before Cordelia and Wanda chuckle passing you the tray. ,,You didn't even touch your dinner darling'' Cordelia scolds softly, raising an eyebrow. ,,I'm an avenger, I can have dessert before dinner'' you protest, the three of them chuckling before Natasha presses a kiss to your forehead while still holding you in her arms. ,,Are you now?'' Wanda chuckles, finding your antics and the sight in front of her adorable. ,,Our badass avenger'' Natasha confirms, glancing at her other two lovers with a proud and satisfied smirk.

[thepunkmuppet]

I gagged him I fear

[cookie-nom-nom]

Reading Barrayar I felt trapped in Cordelia’s head. It’s incredibly effective for the dread of war as a civilian. Plans and machinations happening beyond you, with no input. Hearing of things happening that seem far off and like yeah that’s awful but then suddenly it dominoes in a way that destroy your life and it’s not your fault and you could've done nothing at all to prevent it. Especially the tension of being hunted in the Dendarii mountains with no idea how the war is going, if they’ve already lost, if it is already too late. Cordelia is doing actively important things in service of the war by sheltering Gregor, yet there's this pervasive feeling of helpless lack of control. She spends most of the book with this dread of not knowing when the next threat to their family will come, and I don’t think it could’ve been done so effectively if we had access to the information Aral had. I found it frustrating at times, since it felt like Cordelia was swept up in events with little agency (at first; obviously our dear captain didn’t remain there). I wanted so badly to be with Aral seeing and knowing and making the decisions.

But that’s the point! Most people have absolutely zero agency in those situations and little information and it’s terrifying. Barrayar captures the feeling of being a civilian in war where so many narratives narrow in upon the heroes and 'men of history' that control conflicts. That's what readers expect. I think that’s why I loved the ending so much. After so long trapped with Cordelia, just trying to survive the larger machinations of Barrayar’s bloody politics, it felt so, so good to finally be on the offensive, to have information the opponents don’t, to finally have power and the means to control what happens. It's a relief to the constant tension of having no agency in a giant conflict that frankly Cordelia had no business being affect by, yet was swept up in because of her love of Aral.

Which is the second thing I deeply enjoyed in Barrayar. I love how the war is made so human. A messy tangle of human relationships control it. I can’t stop thinking about the hostages. There are just so many children being used because the war holds the future hostage. Tiny precious Miles utterly incapable of comprehending how large a pawn he is. Young grieving Gregor vital to the plans of both sides whether dead or alive. Elena, who should be of no importance but she is because that's the kid of an unimportant soldier, just like every other hostage is another piece in the web of the war. I keep thinking about the relatives of Aral’s men caught in the capital. The hostages that Aral refuses to take. Everyone just trying to take care of those they love, and the points where they must put other priorities over their relationships are heart wrenching.

Barrayar looks dead on at how little people try to survive a civil war. From the mountains where the fighting seems so far, and information is slowed to a trickle of the singular mailman. The invasion of forces that disrupts people who may not even know there’s a war yet. The scientists and the genius lost in a single blast that goes unnoticed. The urban populations trying to sneak in food and people and keep their heads down. Random citizens debating who to sell out, weighing risks and bounties, if it will get them the favor with the occupiers that will help them survive. All so small in the grand scheme of things, and yet they are who Barrayar concerns itself with.

Cordelia’s uncertainty and fear would’ve been undermined if we were allowed to see in the heads of people driving the conflict, because Barrayar isn’t about those people. It is the desperation of two mothers, powerless and kept in the dark, that topples the regime.

Addendum: Cordelia’s relationship to Aral firmly places her in an upper class position that is important to note when discussing the role of civilians/‘little people’ within this analysis. But as a woman on Barrayar she is extremely limited in the power she is allocated, especially compared to someone like Aral, which would be the military leadership POV that novels more focused on the grander scope of war would utilize. Again not to say Cordelia has no agency or power, but it is not to the degree of the people in charge. Thus I place her alongside the average people swept up in a war outside their control. Still, her position as a Vor Lady gives her some access knowledge and connections that she turns into power, which while limited are far more than the average citizen. Her significance to Vordarrian is exclusively viewed as yet another hostage, an underestimation that Cordelia readily exploits, but still afforded only due to her status. Cordelia occupies a position of importance but not power beyond the scope of the people she’s formed direct relationships with, which only further ties into the essay's thesis.

[dyke-ulaura]

I’m thinking about a post i made a while ago about the differences in the way Cordelia and Charlotte are often depicted online. I can’t find it now but I wanted to add something.

Because it’s often written as if Marvin was just a complete pathetic mess until The Lesbians (also kinda weird that the fandom talks about them as if they’re a single unit, it was a funny joke in the show. I get it. shut up now) swooped in and mothered him until he was a decent person. As if he was some snivelling child with no independency whom The Lesbians had to teach right from wrong and not an adult who fucked up and is trying to fix his mistakes. The way some of you write their relationship makes it hard to understand why either Charlotte or Cordelia want to be his friends. And it’s a disservice to Marvin’s character because this is exactly what he did in his relationship with Trina — treating her like a mother. Writing it this way doesn’t give him any growth at all, it just doubles down on the same issue.

Yes, they helped him a lot, but by being there as friends, as examples of a healthy queer relationship. Not by treating him like a fucking baby.

[aratilightwood]

So James and Cordelia really are that Herondale couple who have sex for the first time in a normal place, with no interruptions from a Mr Bane.

[everlovingt]

One thing I find really interesting about Cordelia as a character is the separation of her reputation and her character, and that it gets called out only subtly in the Vorkosigan saga. Spoilers below the jump.

So, for a good chunk of the Vorkosigan saga, Cordelia is referred to by the other characters (Miles especially, but also Kareen and her parents, Duv, etc.) as the utterly composed, utterly competent, razor incisive, and emotionally controlled Captain and Vor lady that everyone else can only aspire to.

And there’s no question that Cordelia is an amazing woman who has done amazing things.

But.

Cordelia is also a person who fell in love with a self-destructive aristocrat on the other side of a war, fled her home and family, built a new family, watched Barrayar try its best to eat the new family, and came out fighting on the other side.

So, Cordelia is amazing, but she’s also crazy. And she knows it! We don’t see much of Cordelia’s thoughts once we’re in Miles’ narrative, but the book that clinches it for me is Mirror Dance. Miles is missing, presumed dead, and then Mark appears, and then Aral goes through heart failure, and Mark is the one that sees how hard Cordelia is working to hold it all together. Because Cordelia wanted to build a family with Aral and a horde of little babies, and instead Barrayar tried to eat her first son, and now she has one chance to build a relationship with her second son (maybe), and all of three of them are doing their utmost to get themselves killed, and she can’t help that her heart is riding on all of them making it. She is just trying to help each of them by being the partner or mother they need.

She is, as she calls herself, a fool for love. And it’s not a happy thing.

And so I think it’s very special (and is more headcanon than text) that Mark is the one who gets a glimpse of Cordelia in Mirror Dance and realizes that she has an inner life with its own thwarted wants and twisting pains. Because it helps him realize that she’s not perfect and untouchable, and if she can keep moving, maybe he can, too. I’m not sure Miles has ever had this view of his mother.

All of that is part of why I really like Gentleman Jole and the Req Queen. It gives Cordelia a chance to find some ease. And the coda to all of the above is the way in which Cordelia lets go of her fears about baby injuries as she raises Aurelia. To paraphrase Illyan, being Miles’ mother must have been a privilege and a terror. It must be so different to have a chance to pursue happiness.

[jason-falsettos]

guys did u know there's seven middot 🤯 yk what else has seven????? falsettos characters

SO heres the falsettos cast as the middot

(the middot are the types of souls, the souls most divine attribute. each soul is composed of all middot, but each soul has one dominent middot)

Chesed (kindness): Cordelia. She is giving, she is the only one who laughs at Mendel's joke. Her dominant middot is chesed.

Gevurah (Severity): Jason. He's smart and stands his ground. He challenges others. His dominant middot is gevurah.

Tiferet (Harmony): Trina. She is both loving while also fighting against others, standing her ground. It's both the passion of gevurah and the care of chesed.

Netzach (perseverance): Marvin. He goes through so much, and still harms to people around him, BUT he continues on and becomes a better person. His dominant middot is netzach.

Hod (Humility): Mendel. His arc revolves around him becoming more grounded, and learning that he can't solve every problem. He learns to lean on others. His dominant middot is hod.

Yesod (Foundation): Charlotte. She helps Marvin through the two years, as well as throughout Whizzer's sickness. She helps those around her through their lives. Her dominant middot is yesod.

Malchut (Royalty): Whizzer. He helps those around him, and himself. He is looked up to as a teacher by Jason, and teaches Marvin, even if not viewed as such. His dominant middot is malchut.

or something idrk

[marchtomydrums]

You're Safe Little One

Cordelia Goode x Ally Mayfair x Wilhelmina Enable x reader (mother/daughter)

“What are we going to do?!” Zoe shouts looking down at Madison who is passed out on the bathroom floor.

“I’m going to have to call my mom.” You sighed reaching for your phone.

“Are you insane?!” Zoe shouts grabbing your phone.

“Cordelia will be so pissed, and Mina might kill us all.”

“I know that’s why I’m calling Ally!” You yelled at her snatching your phone back.

Zoe rolls her eyes “You think Ally isn’t going to tell them?”

“She will tell them but at least she won’t freak out on me until tomorrow. Plus we need to get out of here those guys Madison met are giving me the creeps. And I’m feeling dizzy, I think they drugged us, Zoe.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know something just doesn’t feel right. I’m calling Ally.”

Zoe nods as she goes back to Madison to check on her. Meanwhile, you waited for Ally to pick up breathing heavily as the phone rang.

“Hey, honey.” She answers.

“Ally.”

“What’s wrong love?” She asked.

Damn, how did she know just by your voice? You think to yourself.

“Can you please pick me, Zoe, and Madison up? I know you’ll be mad but we’re at this party and there are some guys here and they’re giving me bad vibes. And they gave us drinks but Ally I don’t feel good. Something is wrong. And Mads is passed out and I can’t wake her up.”

“Where are you?”

“I can send you my location. We are all three locked in the bathroom. But ally..please hurry. And please don’t bring Mom and Momma. I know you guys will be mad but I don’t feel comfortable here.” You tell her.

“I’ll be right there,” Ally says hanging up the phone. You let out a breath of relief as you ended the phone call.

“So we’re good?” Zoe asked.

“Yeah. Ally’s cool. We will be fine.” You said giving her a small smile as you tried to center yourself.

It was not fine an hour later you felt worse and then you heard the door slam open and instantly you knew.

“Y/n y/m/n y/l/n!!!” The voice echoed throughout the house.

“Fuck.” You mumbled unlocking the bathroom door to see Cordelia, Mina, and Ally standing there.

“Ally.” You whined.

“Don’t blame her you know better!” Cordelia shouts. Looking over she sees Madison lying on the ground.

“Shit Madison.” She sighs walking towards her and leaving you with Ally and Mina.

“Did those boys hurt you?” Mina asked looking over at the group of young boys.

“No ma’am. I just got a weird vibe from them so I called Ally to bring us home.”

“Well I’m proud of you for that but I’m also extremely disappointed in you. Not only for drinking but for calling Ally and putting her in an impossible position.”

“I know.” You whispered bowing your head.

“You and Zoe go to the car. We will be there in a few.” She says.

You and Zoe nod your heads as you walk past her towards the car. Walking past Ally you stopped and whispered “I’m sorry Al.”

Ally nods as you walked past her sighing a bit as she watches Mina and Cordelia yell at the group of boys. Once Cordelia was able to lift Madison she walked to the car putting her in the back seat. Before they can leave Ally stops the older women.

“Listen I know she’s in trouble and she could have gotten hurt but let’s try to remember that they’re just teenagers before we make any decisions.”

“What’s your point?” Mina asked.

“My point is go back and remember what it was like to be 15. When I was her age I never would have called my parents. No matter what was going on. I didn’t trust them enough. All I’m saying is cut her some slack, please. She knew something was wrong and she called.”

“She called you!” Mina shouts.

“And maybe you should ask yourself why!” Ally shouts back.

“Because she thought you would lie to us. Because you’re the cool parent.” Mina scoffs.

“She knew I would tell you both eventually. She called me because she knew I would come no questions asked.” Ally says.

Cordelia sighs” She’s right Mina. We can both be a little hard on her. We expect a lot from y/n.”

Mina sighs “Clearly not hard enough. Look where we are. She could have been hurt!”

“Yes, but she called before it got that far. So maybe Ally is right, she should be cut some slack.”

“Let’s go home,” Mina mumbled walking to the car.

The ride home was spent in silence. The three women each had thoughts running around their minds. Madison and Zoe were passed out but you couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was the drugs or your anxiety but you couldn’t close your eyes.

Once you reached the academy Zoe and Madison wake up enough to walk to their rooms with the help of Myrtle and Misty. You stayed behind because you knew the night was nowhere near over for you. The three women sighed a breath of relief before heading straight into the living room.

“Y/n come here,” Cordelia calls out. You sighed walking into the room.

The three of them were sitting on the couch. Cordelia opens her arms out to you. “Come here, honey.”

You nod as you sit in her lap and she wraps her arms around you.

“Are you okay?”

You shake your head no. After everything that happened tonight, you finally broke once you realized you were safe.

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have gone to that party. But it was fine at first until they gave us the drinks. The boys kept looking at us and asking if we were okay but I knew something was wrong. The room was spinning and once I realized Madison passed out I told Zoe I was calling Ally. I knew Ally would tell you guys but I didn’t want you to come and see me like that. I just wanted to come home. I’m sorry Mom.” You said crying into her shoulder.

“It’s alright baby you’re home now. You’re safe.” Cordelia says softly.

“I know I disappointed all of you. I’m so sorry.” You cried.

“Honey, you're young things like this happen. But I am very proud of you for calling me.” Ally says with a smile.

You returned the smile to her as you looked over at Mina. The thought of disappointing any of your moms was hard for you but especially when it came to the redhead.

“Momma... I…I’m sorry. I know you expect more from me and I let you down. I’ll do better I promise.” You tell her looking down at your feet feeling ashamed for letting her down.

“Little one look at me please,” Mina calls out.

Lifting your head slowly you make eye contact with her.

“When Ally told me what was going on I was so angry. I went there with every intention of yelling at you and causing a scene. And yes I was disappointed. But more than anything I was scared. Scared that something had or was going to happen to my little girl. I felt out of control and that scared me. Because I never want you to get to hurt. The thought of those boys hurting you frightened me. I know I’m hard on you. And I know that you worry that you’re letting me down. But that is far from the truth. You make me so happy and so proud to call myself your mother. And tonight I was extremely proud of you. Not only for calling for help but for taking care of Madison and Zoe and keeping the three of you safe until we got there. I love you sweetheart and I just want to always keep you safe that’s all. “

“I know. But still, I’m sorry Momma.”

“I know dear. Come here.” She says opening her arms out to you.

You crawled into her lap laying your head on her shoulder as you cried. The three women sat in silence as you cried. Each thanking the gods that you were safe but also thinking about what could have happened if they hadn’t gotten there in time.

“Momma I don’t feel good.” You whispered.

“How much did you drink?”

“Only one. I swear. I feel sleepy. “

“It's the drugs,” Ally states looking at the other women.

“They drugged them for sure. We all know Madison is a heavy drinker and she was out cold. Zoe mentioned Madison only had two drinks. Those boys had an agenda for sure.”

“ They’re lucky I didn’t kill them.” Mina growls.

“Agreed. But for now, let’s focus on the girls. I’ll have Myrtle and Misty stay with Zoe and Madison and we will take y/n to our room for the night. “ Cordelia says.

“Sounds like a plan,” Ally says standing up.

“Let me carry her Mina,” Ally says taking you out of the redhead's lap.

You groaned trying to focus on Ally but your eyes were too heavy.

“Ally?” You questioned.

“I’ve got you sweet girl. Everything is okay.” She cooed carrying you upstairs to their bedroom.

Once Cordelia and Mina checked on the other girls the three women laid down in bed with you. They watched over you as you slept peacefully.

“Some many things could have happened tonight.” Mina sighed caressing your cheek.

“True. But she’s safe now and that is all that matters.” Cordelia whispered.

“I know but..”

“Mina,” Ally calls out to her holding her hand tightly.

“She’s safe love. She’s alright.”

Mina nods her head as she bends down to kiss your forehead.

“You’re safe little one.”

[moony401]

Is anyone else upset about how little Herondaisy there is in Chain of Thorns? Like I know I’m insane but I wanted at least some of these things;

Cordelia to make a sacrifice that led into James bringing her back, linking into why the Carstairs owe the Herondales

The Layla and Majnun story and for James to read to Cordelia when she was wounded after doing something brave.

James to call Cordelia ‘Layla’. (Even “Daisy, my Daisy” didn’t feature…)

The line “I suffered every thorn for you I would again”.

Chess games where they revealed things to each other?

Second marriage runes.

For the Belial confrontation to be more Herondaisy focused.

A proper love confession. Like Will had his whole Tale of Two Cities “Last dream of my soul” speech, I was convinced James would have a “to the last hour of my life” love declaration.

Anyways….

[typingwithmyhandstied]

Being a writer is listening to the same song in repeat for two hours because it's the vibes of the scene.

[coffehbeans]

Gt WAC Day 23

"A story with a nonhuman/ monstrous character"

THIS, this was a challenge to write ahsushus I'm so nervous cause it took me SO long and as per usual I'm still unsure about it.

This story is based on a dream I had a month ago, I was writing it since then so i could post it on day 23 of gtwac. So yep, new character. It's different from what I've wrote so far, but I hope you guys enjoy it!

Depending on the reception of this story I will continue it, but fair warning that it'll not be a happy one (IF I continue it).

I'm not sure if I'll rate this chapter in particular as above PG-13, but general warning for overall spooky, unsettling vibes.

Enjoy!

........................................................................................

Edward Becker has not seen his wife in seven years.

People called him crazy for waiting for her return. "She's done for", someone mentioned. "Why don't you find another one?", someone suggested, all falling in deaf ears as every single day, he'd go back from work, sit by the porch, and wait for her until the sun went down. A useless effort, as they said, a delusional hope, or the sign of going mad. But for Edward, it was his strength. The only support for his failed attempts at finding her. His last pillar of sanity that made him get up every morning and wait for her until nightfall. His wife would come back, like she always did. She would come back to his open arms, embrace him gently like she used to, cover him with kisses as he pulled her close. They would giggle and enter their home, enjoy a nice meal they cooked together, talking about their day during dinner, about plans for rebuilding their house, plans for a new job he wanted to get, plans about their future children. When night falls, they would sleep holding each other tight, relishing in their shared warmth.

All he had to do was wait for her by the porch.

...

One day, she did comeback.

It was past midnight. So dark and cold outside, most animals have gone to sleep, making the woods around his remote home dead silent. The cows and chickens of his small farm uttered no sound as they slept, and the wind billowed the wheat fields outside, his plain wooden house colored pitch black by the late-night sky. It was a weathered home, well kept indoors but in need of repairs, with ripped, dingy furniture and leaks on the roof. It was protected by a measly three-feet-tall fence that threatened to fall apart, and over the backyard, where the overgrown grass was blown by the wind, laid a simple wooden shed meant for storing farming equipment. Tossing and turning on his bed, Edward sat up with a jolt, sweat dripping on his face as anxiety threatened to eat him whole. He sighed, holding his face in his trembling hands, and letting out a shaky breath. He couldn't fall asleep in those nights, where the memory of Cordelia haunted his mind in his dreams, ones where she wore desperate expressions as she's dragged away from him by detached, withered hands, and no matter how much he ran, he didn't reach her. Nightmares where he found her dead body, pale and laying limp, lifeless eyes staring at him. Nightmares where he found her hurt, bleeding and beaten up, face covered by bruises ­– in most nights, those visions would plague him.

With a shiver, Edward got up, lighting up the oil lantern. He trudged for the kitchen, on his way to do the same as usual: put some water over the wood burning stove, boil it, try this new tea his friend had brought for him, and drink it aimlessly, hoping in vain for sleep to come back.

He sluggishly put wood pieces inside the firebox, reaching a hand for the lighter on the table. A flicker, two, and the fire was lit. He put the kettle over the stove with a clank, and stared at it blankly, waiting for bubbles to form. The house was pitch black, only the flickering flames of the stove and the lamp’s dim glow illuminated the room.

A loud sizzling of the kettle snapped Edward out of his torpor as the water boiled. He picked the hot handle, feeling its heat burning his skin, lifted it from the fire and — THUMP. A loud thud by the window behind him sent him jumping, fumbling with the kettle in his hands, heartbeat skyrocketing. He banged it on the table. Hot droplets prickled his hand. He turned around with rapid breaths. A blurred shadow dashed away from the window, sending a cold chill down his spine, the wind howling and heavy thuds echoing outside the house’s walls. Rhythmical and constant. Pounding on the ground. Edward sucked in a breath, head ringing against his skull. He stomped towards the cabinet containing his shotgun. There were thieves? In the middle of the night? Were they finally coming to steal a poor and mad man's house? He wouldn't allow it.

He can’t die yet. Not until Cordelia comes back to him.

Loading the gun with precise clicks, Edward aimed it at the window, darting his aim from window to window until he reached the door, the last place he heard the strange sound. With trembling hands over the trigger, his eyes focused on an invisible target. He held his breath, standing still. Not a single sound. Ears trained on any disturbance. THUMP. THUMP. A shadow passed by the window to his right. BANG!

He twisted his body and shot, missing the shadow by an inch.

"W-who's there!?" He shouted in a trepid tone.

No answer. Not even a sound. Maybe the sound of breathing. He couldn't tell. He couldn't tell if it was someone's breathing or his own.

The “sshhhs” and “thuds” echoed around him, heading towards the backyard. Edward adjusted the position of the gun in his arms.

He took a deep breath.

Edward ran to the back door and slammed it open with a kick, pointing the trembling shotgun towards the field. The sky was pitch-black outside, engulfing the horizon with its inky tint, and the stars didn't dare approach the darkness. The faint moonlight was partially obscured by the clouds, its glow too weak to lighten the outdoors. He huffed, feeling the weight of his gun, and headed further into the backyard with measured steps. His shoes crunched the grass below, the dry air amplifying the sound of his stride. Deadly silence filled the field. A puff of smoke left his nostrils as warm exhale met with the frigid air. Tightening the grip around the gun, he aimed it at the decrepit shed. Waiting for movement. Eyes trained forward. The dark blur of a large silhouette shifted behind it.

BANG.

He shot. Once. Twice. The sound of the bullets making his ears ring, metal creating holes in the aged wood. A loud, high-pitched, and definitely human scream cried behind it.

He stopped shooting, heart leaping to his throat. A weight plunked in his insides, making him loose the tight grip on his gun. Behind the shed, he heard it. A gasp. A whimper. A sob. Clearly feminine. Edward lowered the gun, furrowing his brows as the cries made a lump form inside his throat. A trick to let his guard down? A trap? It must be a trick for sure. No way an innocent person would show up in the middle of the night. No, there's no way. Goosebumps trailed down his back as the cries reached his ears. Why was there even someonehere?

The sobbing got louder, echoing in the cold, dark night. He shivered when the shrill voice reverberated in his ears, an uncomfortable knot twisting in his stomach at the thought he could have shot an innocent woman.

"Who... Who's there?" He repeated, cautious this time, as if talking to a cowering animal.

The sobs dwindled little by little. He didn't dare move. The figure was hidden behind the shed, not even the faint moonlight giving a glimpse of its appearance.

Finally, he heard it: that feminine voice. Frail, faint, and so utterly scared.

Its familiarity so potent, something clogged in his throat.

"... Ed..."

That voice. The voice he waited for so many years by the porch. The voice he dreamed of in his sleep. Screaming. Crying for help. Calling for his name.

"... Edward..."

The same voice that recited sweet words of so much care, so much love and adoration to him every day. The voice that followed a gentle embrace, the smell of perfume and a prolonged kiss. The same voice that said "I do" by the altar over 12 years ago, that whispered close to his ear, giggling with joy. The voice that chatted to him relentlessly, which he couldn't get enough of. The voice that laughed, cried, shouted, only to say sweet words of gentle love again. That melodic yet striking voice. Edward didn't notice the tears falling from his face. Didn't notice the gun falling to the ground. Didn't notice his feet moving on his own, towards the shed, towards the faint possibility that she was behind it. He stumbled faster towards it, raising a trembling hand. "C-Cordelia?!" "NO! DON'T COME CLOSER!" The powerful shout made him stop dead on his tracks, ears complaining from its sheer force. He never heard his wife sound so... Desperate. In panic. "... H-honey...?" "Pl-please... D-don't come closer yet." She said, her voice returning to its normal pitch, but shaking with trepidation.

  "W-what's wrong...? Did I –"

Then he remembered it. The gun. The shootings. The fact he almost killed his own wife. His heart sank, face turning pale, his voice hoarse.

"Oh God. It's - it's really you, it was you and I almost, I-I a-almost... A-are you hurt? Are you bleeding? I –"

Edward took more shaking steps towards it, the nightmare of his dead wife still clear in his mind.

"NO!" - He stopped again. - "I-I'm fine! I'm not hurt, you d-didn’t hit me."

Edward covered his face with a hand and stopped himself from wanting to vomit.

"Cordelia I'm- ... I-I'm so, so sorry I thought it was a thief, I..."

He lowered his head, and took a shaky breath.

"Am I going crazy? Is – is it r-really you?! I, I waited for s-so long – I thought you were dead —!"

Tears poured desperately from Edward's eyes, his attempts to stop his sobs coming in vain. He hiccupped under his cries, breathing rapidly as reality came crashing down and years of restrained emotion leaked out. The voice sounded just like her. The voice could really be her.

‘Then, if it’s her, why is she hiding?’

"Please, d-dear, if it's really you..." - he whispered, his voice croaky and dry. Tears continued to fall.

"Please let me see you..." The shed grew eerily silent. Cold air made him quiver. A silent second spread throughout the night, the sounds of his sobs echoing through the pitch-black darkness. "I... I can't."

She whispered back in a shaky voice. Unsure. Afraid. Edward raised his head, glancing to the fallen gun on the grass, a realization hitting deep inside his stomach. "Are you scared of me...?" A pause. He heard her sucking in a breath. A long, deep exhale was carried by the wind. Her voice faint and trembling. "N-no... Dear, I... I'm not scared of you." The shed's wood creaked, like something was gripping it and scratching it down. "...I'm scared of myself." Edward's guilty expression changed to confusion. He furrowed his brows. A part of him wanted to giggle. His adorable wife, scared of herself? Why? She always had some impatience and anger she was discontent about, but even so... That made no sense. The way she acted, hiding from him, made no sense. Another part of Edward felt an odd sense of dread. As if something was not right. "Honey, why are you hiding from me? I... I waited for so long... I-I searched everywhere for you, and when I couldn't find anything, I waited. And when I couldn't wait anymore, I prayed. I hoped. I-I never paid attention to what the others said, even if they called me crazy." He took a step towards the shed. She sucked in a breath. Edward didn't notice more tears started to pour from his face. "And it's you, r-right? It's you who's behind here, right? Alive and well? Please dear... Don't let me think I've gone crazy!" He took another step closer. Then another. She whimpered behind the decrepit barn. Edward's vision was blurry from his own tears, but he didn't care anymore. He just needed to see her, even if it wasn't true. Even if he died.

Gosh, he just wanted to see her.

"Honey, DON'T!" The sheer loudness of her rigid voice made him stop dead on his tracks again. He opened his mouth, ready to protest, but Cordelia interrupted him.

"It's n-not... It's not that I'm not alive and well, Edward..." "So why are y-"

"...I-it's that I don't know what I am anymore..." He paused. That uneasy sense of dread sank heavier inside him. "What...? Cordelia, what do you mean-" "If I," – She interrupted, taking a deep breath. – "If I really come out of this shed, Will you promise, promise me that you will not run?" A shiver ran down his spine. Heartbeat rocked harder against his chest. Something's not right. Something's clearly not right. But Edward planted his feet firmly on the ground. It was his wife's voice. He lost her seven years ago. He doesn't know what happened to her in that time. She could be different from how she looked back then, hurt and bruised from whatever abuse they inflicted on her. Rage bubbled up inside him. Whoever did anything to her, he would kill them in cold blood. They would pay for taking her away from him. Being hurt and disfigured by her captors… That was probably what Cordelia meant.

There was no need for him to feel so nervous.

"You know I love you, dear... No matter what. You know I'd never run away from you... So why would you even ask that?"

"Please, Edward." She said louder than he expected. Desperate. Too desperate. "Please promise you won't run." The moonlight cast over the shed, the little gaps between the wooden plates showing a faint shadow behind it. A hulking mass, piled up like a bundle of hay, a head peeking out of the lump as if there was no body attached to it. Edward's eyes widened, heart drumming faster in his chest. Cold sweat scurried down his forehead. 'What is that?' And yet, he couldn't deny the pleading voice of his wife, sounding exactly as she did seven years ago. It couldn't possibly not be her. Something grave must have happened when she was gone, and that's why she was so afraid. Yes, that's most likely it.

So Edward gulped his nervousness down, and wiped the sweat from his face.

"Honey... I promise I won't run away from you... I would never run away from you."

A light, quiet wail whispered in the cold night, slowly dwindling down. A sniff sounded behind the shed. A long inhale and exhale belonging to powerful lungs.

Silence.

"... Alright."

And the heavy sound of something dragging over the earth.

A form encased in shadow peeked from the wooden walls over fourteen feet above him. Edward took a while to notice the large silhouette was a head. His wife's head. It was truly, truly her! Looking just like he remembered and – pale. So sickeningly pale. A dark and somber expression covered her face. Her eyes were baggy and downcast, white lips trembling. But more importantly, he couldn't understand why she has so high up.

"P-please..." - she uttered, almost to herself. - Please don't run..." Gargantuan claws appeared next to her, black, sharp nails curling over the creaking wood. A long, bony hand covered by charcoal scales. His wife pressed her eyes firmly shut. Edward took a step back, his mouth going dry. The sinking feeling in his stomach cut deeper. And then he saw why she was so high up.

The rest of her appeared under the pale moonlight, her form triple of a human size. A gigantic torso loomed over him like a small tree, covering him in her shadow. She wore nothing on her, long, mahogany hair covering her chest.

Then he looked down.

Black and yellow scales jutted out of her skin, covering her lower half, legs attached together in a single, cylindrical body that twitched and writhed as it came closer. The thick tail uncoiled behind the shed, extending further and further to Edward's right, so much so it could envelop around him if it moved. With loud thumps, Cordelia's massive form fell on the ground, hair obscuring her downcast face. Black talons gripped the soil as she pushed herself forward. Rough and coarse scales scraping against the earth as the hulking, round tail crunched the grass and lugged over it like a corpse dragging on the dirt. Rocks broke with a sickening "crunch" under its weight.

Edward's face contorted in shock. He took one, two steps back, eyes widening in horror, shaken to the core as his heart jumped in his throat. Pounding harder against his ribcage.

It was a gargantuan something, half snake, half something that resembled human. Resembled his wife. He mumbled incomprehensibly. Primal fear took over him. A crying, shaky voice resounded from the creature's mouth. A clawed hand the size of his head reaching out to him. "P-please... Edward..." He ran. He screamed bloody murder and dashed back towards his house, hearing it holler back his name. Tears fell from his eyes, desperation taking hold of his body. A deafening sound of thumps and scratches came from behind him, growing closer, coming for him.

"WAIT–!" Tha thing can’t be his wife. Whatever it was it could not be his wife. It shouldn't be his wife. It shouldn't be human. He ran through the house's corridors, left became right and up became down and the crunches behind him grew louder and louder and he had to hide, he had to hide but there was nothing in his room aside from the cold, old bed so he bolted, ran and ducked under it, mumbling shaky prayers, begging to heavens for his life. Begging that he was hallucinating. To not die to someone who looked so much like her.

That couldn't be real. He heaved. It can't be real, can't be real can't be real it can’t – He's gone crazy. Yes, that must be it. He's finally gone mad and that’s why.

But the cracks of the floorboards under the creature's weight sounded far too real for him to doubt. The scratching of the claws over the ground as it dragged its gargantuan body caused a fear too intense for him to doubt. The cracking of the walls as it squeezed itself inside felt too real for him to doubt. Edward clamped his mouth shut with a shaking hand, curling up under the bed and closing his eyes tight. If he remained immovable, if he remained silent, maybe it wouldn't find him. Maybe he wouldn't die. He gulped down a whimper that threatened to escape from his throat. Cordelia's voice resonated from the creature's mouth again. Weak, raspy, and grieving. It was a strategy to lure him out. Yes. That was probably it. It couldn't possibly be something else. Because that huge monster with crude scales couldn't be his wife, with soft skin and flowing hair, with her dress that billowed in the wind when they walked over green fields together. No. That thing could not be her. "Edward... Please, I-I..." She whispered under her heavy sobs. Loud thumps echoed outside the room. "I won't hurt you... Please believe me!"

The sobs that sounded so much like her broke his heart in half. But he remembered to what it belonged to. He would not fall for it. Even if he wanted to scream for help, knowing that no one would come. Even if a part of him wanted nothing more than believe it was all true and run towards its scaly arms. He gulped down his screams of fear, and remained silent. Frozen. Unmoving. He would not fall for it

The scrapes and scratches got louder. Scales hissed over the floorboards that chirred in protest.

"I'm not a monster. I'm not –" A claw unhinged itself from the floor and the creature raised itself up. A loud bump thundered on the ceiling, a shocked gasp echoed in the dry air. Edward clutched his eyes shut. Dust and debris fell on the ground. The monster laid down again, a heavy bang thundering in the silent house. The floorboards groaned as it settled on the ground.

"If you... If you look at me like that again, I-I think I'll go crazy... I can't stand it!"

Loud sobs filled the house. Edward flinched and clutched his eyes shut, breathing heavily, curling further inside himself. He resisted the urge to break down into tears.

The dragging and shuffling got heavier. The floorboards of his bedroom, the ones he was currently laid over, creaked in complaint of the weight being placed upon them. The sound got louder. Closer.

It was entering his room.

He sucked in a quivering gasp. Heart threatening to escape his throat, he shook as if the room was freezing cold, tears cascading down his face at the thought that he really could die now. He would die. He would die. Maybe he should. Maybe she should just end him.

He saw it. The black and yellow scales, shimmering as it moved. The snake body crawling as it reached the door, so massive it got stuck in the door frame. A push or two and it got free, the walls around it cracked, dust fell around him and a crunching sound reverberated in the room. Black claws scraped the ground, wood screeching in the deafening silence. A towering human body, pale torso as tall as him, laid down, auburn locks of hair trailing on the floor. The face obscured by its raised head.

It stopped moving. He looked at its skin with heaving breaths and widened eyes.

They remained still for what felt like an eternity. The only sound was his own heartbeat, his breathing and the creature's. The tail twitched and thumped against the walls with a loud noise. He flinched as his eyes darted back and forth, hearing the friction of scales against wood.

Silence.

She sniffed. And spoke first. "... When the civil war happened, we hid here once. You would wrap your arms around me, and we'd curl up together under the bed, praying that it'd protect us." – she whispered.

"– But even when I cried, even when we thought we would die, I still felt safe with you. Do you remember that, dear…?"

The sorrowful voice spoke of memories that a monster should not have. Edward felt cold. So cold, alone under that bed.

He closed his eyes tightly shut. Maybe, after a while, he wouldn't see her when he opened them. Hugging himself, Edward shuddered as a shiver crawled up his spine. Maybe he could still return to a normal life, where he didn’t hallucinate. Maybe he could still pretend none of this happened.

There was a shifting sound, and he sucked in a trepid breath. A thud, right in front of him. With his lips trembling, and teeth grinding against each other, Edward wondered if his death would be quick. But time stretched as the room fell into stifling silence, the monster's breathing ruffling on his face. It was right in front of him. He knew. He knew that he should just keep his eyes closed, waiting for his death. He knew that. His heart hurt inside his ribcage from pounding so hard, and his stomach sank lower with fear. He should close his eyes more firmly. He should just wait a while longer.

But instead, he opened them.

Her face. Her same crying face, if not for the magnified size and its greyish blue eyes with slitted pupils. A shadow of what once was her. His wife. The one he waited for so long. The one he imagined walking back to him as he sat by that porch every day. It did come back, as a monster, a ghost ready to haunt him, blame him for the pathetic man that he was, for not being able to prevent her from going missing. A reflection of what he lost. Evidence of his cowardice. A sign that he has gone mad.

That's what he wanted to believe.

But the face that resembled his wife so faithfully mirrored his expression of dread and grief. It covered itself in such humanity, with the exhausted eyes dripping with tears. With the mouth, when its pale lips parted as it sucked in a shaky breath, even if it revealed sharp teeth underneath. With its thick, auburn hair as it clung to her sweating face. It looked so distinctly human. So distinctly real. Not at all like a ghost. Not at all like a monster out to hunt him.

In that closeup by the gap under the bed, it just looked like his wife.

Edward’s breathing got less exasperated. His heart rocked less inside his chest. His tears dried as his widened eyes remained frozen on the figure before him. He glared at its mouth, as it opened to speak.

"Edward..." It whispered. So silently, so tender yet certain, just like the time when he had her by his side.

"... I am real."

The tears resurfaced, a mix of fear, hope and despair turned into quiet, then loud sobs, then muffled screams as Edward cried and curled up further under the bed, letting out years of frustration. Years of guilt as it made his chest hurt and his breathing to narrow. He couldn't hear her, who was sobbing on her own, as he drowned in the sorrows that leaked out of his weathered body like a dam that has been broken. Did he have her back? Could he really put a stop to this? He felt guilty. So guilty. Was that his fault? If he found her, would she have turned out like this? No, she wouldn’t. He knew she wouldn’t and that was why the tears wouldn’t stop. If the monster wanted to hurt him, Edward wouldn’t blame it, not even a little.

When he started to calm down, he didn't realize the creature was still there, in front of him, with tears gathered on its enlarged face. He regained his breath, steadily and gradually, refocusing his eyes on the grey blue irises. Her gaze softened, just like when she greeted him home after a tiring day, eyes inviting him for peaceful rest.

He needed that rest. More so than any other day.

"If I... If I move away, will you come out?"

She whispered so quietly Edward struggled to hear it. But it still sounded the same, that sweet, honeyed voice that said “I love you” with so much earnest and ease. But a part of him still doubted. His body still trembled under her alien gaze. Doubts echoed in his mind, and adrenaline pumped in his veins. If this was her, then how? Why? What kind of degenerate devil would do this to her?

But still, he wanted to believe... He did, but... He didn't want to die.

"Dear... If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I'd already done so?"

There it was, her bolder side, the one that always made her win an argument, that scolded him sometimes but he always loved it when she did. The one that now made him snap out of it, and helped Edward realize that he didn't have any power in this situation from the very beginning. The creature was huge and could see him. Indeed, if it wanted it would have hurt him long ago. Edward repeated this in his head over and over until it was enough to clear his mind.

In a glimpse of calmness, he managed to speak in what was left of his hoarse voice. "Yes... You're right, honey." And she smiled. A relieved, sad smile, one that did not have any hope in it, but that was glad he at least spoke to her like a person. Like his wife. Even if it was only for a little bit.

  She got up, the long claws visible for a second in Edward's field of vision. They recoiled towards the snake creature's chest as if it had touched a burning kettle, knowing he had seen its intimidating appendage. It shifted its body away and the scales glistened as it slithered towards the door. After a while, it stopped. The area in front of Edward was free to move now.

His heartbeat rocked louder. What if the moment he leaves it slices him open with those claws... – No. 'Snap out of it. Snap out of it.'  he repeated in his head, recalling the events and the fact that if it was a predator after its prey, he was already too difficult to be bothered with. He would be fine, Edward assumed. He had to be.

And if all of that was a lie, then it was better that he died anyway, granting the sweet release of death instead of sinking into his madness.

Because if all that he saw this night was not real, then he really has gone mad.

Edward took a deep breath. One... Two... The snake creature remained still.

Three.

He scrambled away from the bed and sat up in a hurry, heaving like he had run a marathon. Eyes closed. Waiting for the inevitable.

It never came.

So he opened his eyes, coming face to face with the creature's scales stretching in the distance. His heart throbbed.

"I-it's okay, honey... You're doing great." She whispered, voice clogged by her own desire to break down into tears.

Edward took another deep breath. In… And out. No closing his eyes now. And slowly, he raised his head up, searching for the face of his beloved. Even if he was shaking from head to toe.

His eyes trailed up her body. Nervous and slim hands, covered by black scales, interlaced over her lap. The scales of her tail became thinner and thinner as he looked up, their color contrasting against the ivory skin of her human upper body. It was ashen, slim, the torso alone was as tall as he was. He looked to the chest concealed by her hair, mahogany and wavy, just like he remembered, although the strands were much longer and thicker than before. And finally, he reached it. The same sweet, tender face, looking down at him. The trembling lips struggled to show a reassuring smile, forcing her mouth shut in order to cover the fangs underneath it. Those elongated eyes, with thick eyelashes that fluttered, blinking away tears. The same straight nose. Those previously beautiful blue eyes, now a greyer shade and with pupils like a reptile's, yet with that human, longing glance, darting around Edward's face as she analyzed his every expression.

It was her. No doubt about that now.

Edward opened his mouth and closed it, struggling to form words. Thoughts spiraled inside his mind. Feelings of guilt, frustration, anger, indignation. Fear. Sorrow. Pain.

Yet hope. Above all it was hope.

Edward got up, not taking his eyes off hers.

That was no monster. It was, indeed, his wife.

"Oh, Cordelia, what have they done to you?"

His voice whispered, thick with sorrow. He looked up to see pools of tears splashing from Cordelia's face, a clear expression of relief. She sobbed, burying her face in her clawed hands, relieved that her husband called her by her name again. Relieved that he was here. Relieved that he didn't see her as a monster, at least for that moment. A piece of humanity she lost, a piece of her previous life that she missed, a piece of hope that was snatched away from her seven years ago and that she never thought she'd have again. It was returning for her.

He was returning for her.

Cordelia was surprised by a warm touch over her scaled lap. She wiped the tears from her eyes with the rough back of her hand, looking down with a gasp. Her husband was rubbing his hand over it, tiny and shaking, comforting her. An attempt to reach out.

"D-don't. They are hideous..." Tears flowed on her face.

‘Indeed, they were’, Edward thought. He never liked snakes, their scales always making his skin crawl whenever he found one in the farm. The feeling wasn't any different as he trailed his hands over her, goosebumps raised the hairs on his skin and he shuddered with each motion. Edward exhaled shakily. No matter how much he looked at it, even if everything felt unreal at the moment, he couldn’t deny who was in front of him.

"They are still you." He said.

Cordelia widened her eyes and Edward looked up at her with compassion on his face. Love, longing. They both yearned for that. For the same feeling to return to them. For the same life, that was so cruelly snatched away from them, to return as if nothing had gotten between them in the first place. Even if it was a pointless dream.

They fumbled awkwardly at what to do.

Edward wasn't sure how to proceed. His mind conjured images of him holding her tightly, back to her human form, like a dream manifesting. Yet the reality loomed over him and the long tail that filled his bedroom in multiple coils covered his skin with goosebumps, a knot tightening on his throat.

He looked up and confirmed it, Cordelia's unsure face was there. He’s not crazy. All of that was still her.

She looked away under his apprehensive gaze, turning deep red and ashamed of herself. Edward took a deep breath; she didn’t feel well and he needed to fix this. He looked down. Then looked up again.

"Can I hold you?"

The question took Cordelia aback. She backed away from him and widened her eyes. Her tail bumped on the cabinet and he twisted his neck towards the source of the sound, clearly flinching from the movement.

He was still terrified of her. Then, why...?

"You don't need to do this, Edward. You did great already –“

"No. I want to do this. If you're really you, I want to do this."

Cordelia looked down and saw Edward's determined face. Her heart broke silently inside her. Why he was so adamant in dealing with her, Cordelia didn't know. But gosh, if it wasn't for his fear and for her disgusting claws, she'd have held him close a long time ago. She missed it so much. How much she missed his strong embrace.

So she nodded, and he came closer.

Edward couldn't quite contain how much he was shaking. Couldn't contain his jolt when he touched her frigid skin, chills crawling down his spine. But despite this, he pushed on forward, kneeling over her scaled lap, glancing at how they shone even in the partial darkness. With silent fascination, Cordelia let her arms hover around him.

A moment hung between them.

And Edward latched onto her. He rested on her torso and enveloped his arms around her, as much as he could, as they barely reached her back. Cold. She was cold like a corpse. He rested his cheek against her stomach, shivering upon contact. Gosh, it was so cold. He wanted to pull away. He wanted to hold her closer. Cordelia didn't remember the last time she sensed so much warmth. She felt herself getting hot inside even when she thought she was not capable of feeling warm anymore. Edward snuggled closer to her chest, and she sighed, relishing in his contact. Gently, like she was cradling an injured bird, Cordelia enveloped her arms around him, careful not to hold him too tight or not to loom over him, either. Gosh, the way her arms completely engulfed him... She felt monstrous. Edward shrank upon contact and she started to let him go, fearing this was a bad decision, but the feeling of his hug getting tighter made her arms remain still.

They stayed like this for an amount of time, taking in each other’s presence. Edward heard his wife's strong heartbeat against him, which grounded him in his current predicament, but still... Maybe he'd blink and she'd be gone, or maybe something would finally reveal that he'd made all of that up. Cordelia's embrace got a little tighter, not in a way that was hurting him, but she shifted around and her shadow loomed over as she curled around him. Her arms closed the hug in, and his heart skipped a beat.

"I missed you." she croaked.

She leaned over Edward, pulling him closer. He sighed in sweet relief upon hearing her melodic voice, feeling exhaustion weighing down on him as his body relaxed. He sank in her gentle embrace, kissing the surface of the freezing cold skin.

"I missed you too, dear."

...

They were laying on their backs under the early morning light, on the floor of the same bedroom where everything happened. Cordelia's tail stretched way further outside the room, disappearing through the door. Edward rested on top of her, not after much insistence that he wrapped a warm blanket around him. He ran his fingers through her hair, dazed, letting the reality of the situation sink in. He wasn't exactly afraid now, but the memories of the night made his heart twist with a mix of dread and guilt. Edward needed to know. How bad was everything that happened to her? Too much happened, she was gone, and now he had her back. It felt unreal and too real at the same time. And yet, Edward needed answers. Maybe, just for a few minutes, he thought, they could stay like this, and pretend that nothing had happened, but he knew that curiosity would get the best of him. Cordelia looked down at her husband with tenderness, watching as he caressed her hair, as she avoided touching him with her claws. She noticed his pensive expression and frowned.

“Is something wrong?

Edward hesitated, looking for ways to phrase his question. "What happened that made you turn into this?" He asked finally, tone even, yet with seething rage building up inside his chest. "Who did this to you?"

Cordelia sighed, closing her eyes. All the memories surfaced in her head like a messy conjecture of disfigured images and sounds. She took a shuddering breath, and spoke.

"I regained memories of you first before I remembered my own name..."

[stayevildarling]

So I just found your page! I absolutely loved One Too Many Secrets and everything else you have written! I was wondering if I could request another Cordelia/Billie/Mina x Reader or Natasha/Wanda/Cordelia x Reader (whichever you prefer) where Reader goes missing one day. They search for her, but can’t find her. A while later, one or all of them run into her in public, but she’s very confused and claims to not know any of them. She is with another person who calls her a different name, eventually R leaves with that person, leaving the others rather upset, hurt and confused. Then a few days later, Reader reaches out to them. She tells them she was in an accident and woke up with absolutely no memory of who she is or anything about her life. She’s hoping they can maybe fill in some details.

So this whole time, they’ve been searching for her. Praying she hadn’t left them or was taken or worst case scenario no longer alive, and she’s just been living under a different name with no idea who she is. I’ll leave the ending up to you if Reader remembers or not.

I just have this idea of Reader reaching out to them like, “…wait… so you know me?”

“Know you? …. We love you.”

…if you wanna… if not, I totally understand!!! I love your writing!!!

Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff x Cordelia Goode x Reader- It all fell down

A/N: I just want to say thank you to whoever sent me this 🫶🏻 I absolutely adore requests like these. I changed some of it to fit the storyline that I had in mind and I decided to go with wandanat x Delia for this one because I enjoyed writing their chemistry together last time. I apologise if the ending seems a bit cheesy or rushed but this was getting really long.

tags/warnings: female reader, established relationship, quad polyamorous relationship, mention of violence, mention of blood, mention of weapons/guns, amnesia, cursing, angst, fluff

translation: detka= baby, malishka= baby girl

word count: 7k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay, @whitelotus00, @ninaahs, @vintagepaulson, @isle-of-earle, @paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime, @ohrwurm26, @wastdstime

As soon as the front door opens, both Cordelia and Wanda immediately rise to their feet, anxiously rushing towards the hallway only to expose a soaked, beaten and bruised Natasha. The sound of rain and thunder from outside draws out as the redhead steps inside. ,,Oh honey'' the supreme coos, tilting her head a little and biting her lip to hide her own anxiety. Wanda simply watches, her green eyes never leaving her girlfriends as the black widow brushes past them, her features tense as she makes her way towards the bathroom. Two sets of worried eyes follow her, as the door bangs shut matching her inner frustration.

The cold water grounds the Russian a little as she runs it over her tired features, using a towel to dry off her hair and the remainder of water on her body before glancing at herself in the mirror. All she can see is shame, disappointment and guilt, another night of searching for something, any clues, anything that could help her. ,,Darling?'' Wanda tries softly, knocking on the door a few minutes later. Natasha knew both her lovers could easily open the door, Wanda being the scarlet witch and Cordelia being supreme and headmistress to Miss Robichaux's Academy and so with a sigh she opens the door, exposing her tired features.

,,What happened?'' the blonde tries softly, tilting her head to the side again and her fingers tracing gently across the cut forming on Natasha's forehead. ,,Nothing- I'm fine'' she quickly reassures, before again brushing past them and walking over to her dresser, ridding herself from the wet clothing and changing into a new tank top and some sweatpants. ,,Honey, you have got to stop this'' Cordelia tries, taking another step towards the former assassin. Wanda nods, agreeing with her partner before her green eyes try and search for Natasha's. ,,You can't keep going out there, one day you'll get hurt or worse, we will loose you too'' she explains before tears fill her vision, her lip beginning to wobble as her fear and the words practically burst out of her.

,,I have to'' Natasha mumbles, ignoring her lovers words and concern, the only thing on her mind you. ,,Someone has to keep trying'' she huffs before walking over to the armchair in the corner. ,,And we will darling, just come to bed with us please'' Cordelia tries, her expression stern as the concern threatens to overwhelm her. ,,Later'' Natasha huffs, her accent thick as she settles into her usual corner before Wanda and the blonde simply give up. It had been like this for a few months, ever since your disappearance, Natasha has been out there every single night, searching the streets for any clue, talking to people who may know something, going back to your favourite places or the ones that made you feel safe like the lake where Wanda would always take you for picnics, even Delia's academy as you had spent a majority of your time there and even the hill with the special view that Natasha had shown you once. But it wasn't successful and eventually the redhead grew tired of this, getting more aggressive with her search, with her questioning.

The day where you didn't return home from work had changed them all indefinitely. Cordelia had the strange feeling something wasn't right as soon as the clock turned it's usual time for your arrival home. Wanda and Natasha tried to calm her down, thinking maybe you had gotten caught up with something or simply stopped somewhere on your way home. However, the feeling quickly settled in Wanda's stomach as well as she had tried calling you countless times, Natasha eventually spending the whole night in the hopes of finding you. However you never returned and it killed them all in their own way. Wanda spent the first weeks devastated as her own past came to haunt her before she tried to use all of her strength and magic to find you. Cordelia had spent every waking moment trying to find you, using countless spells but none of them had worked and it killed her. And so the only thing she could try and do was look after both Wanda and Natasha and try to remain strong for them. Not a day passed where Cordelia didn't miss her little sunshine and Wanda didn't miss her special girl.

For some reason it hit Natasha harder than both of them. Every night she sat in the same armchair in the bedroom, the one that overlooked both the street and also the front door, simply in the hopes that you would return. She would have little sleep, sometimes even none. Skipping on Missions with the avengers often as she wanted to do her own thing and find you, knowing their resources failed when they had equally looked for you a while back. She couldn't shake the feeling that it was her fault, after all she was the most like you. Growing up you had equally been forced to work for an organisation and they turned you into their own villain and spy, sending you all over the world to gather information and during this you became strong both mentally and physically until you stumbled upon Natasha and Wanda when trying to infiltrate the avengers compound before they took you in eventually, being able to tell you wanted out.

The black widow couldn't help but think that she should have been there that day, that they should have never allowed to let you take that silly little part time job as you were busy enough with missions for the avengers as well as helping Cordelia back at the academy, despite not being a witch. She feels like she failed you, often wondering whether you may have walked away voluntarily and that she or they may have upset you. Her first thought was you being taken but she had made sure to shut down the whole organisation from your past and there had been no sign of you anywhere on earth. While Wanda had a strange feeling that you may be dead, as she couldn't feel you anymore, Natasha never gave up, spending every waking moment on finding you, finding her detka, despite ruining her life and relationship in the wake of it. But she didn't care, her main mission always being you and your wellbeing.

After another week had passed by, Cordelia and Wanda somehow convinced Natasha to finally spend some time with them and forget about her mission for one day and the black widow only agreed because she was tired, tired of not getting any answers and not finding you. The supreme had suggested the markets as it was her usual Saturday morning routine and despite the thought killing her as she always went there with you, she thought it may bring Wanda and Natasha some joy. They stopped at some little stalls, Cordelia picking up some herbs and flowers, Wanda trying to relax although the only thing she could do was search for your face in the crowds. Natasha actively tried to relax, wanting to be better for both her girlfriends, knowing this hadn't been easy on them either. After going some more places, picking up some ingredients for dinner, the sky now filled with some dark clouds, Wanda suddenly halts in her steps, almost dropping some of the bags.

,,Wands?'' Natasha asks softly, her face filled with concern seeing the expression on her lovers face. ,,What is it darling?'' Cordelia asks concerned, noticing how Wanda almost seems frozen in her spot. ,,Y/N.. it's Y/N'' she whispers, her eyes locked on a little crowd of people standing by a lemonade stand. ,,Darling'' Cordelia sighs, knowing Wanda has been struggling with this especially and looking for you everywhere whenever leaving the house, often having to remind her that someone with the same height, hair colour or piece of clothing wasn't you and having to pick up the pieces. ,,No wait'' Natasha stops the supreme, seeing the back of your head and her breath almost getting caught in her throat. She is quick to abandon her other lovers, rushing through the crowds until she reaches you. ,,Y/N.. detka?'' she tries before the person next to you turns around.

As soon as Wanda and Cordelia catch up, the supremes hand hovers on your shoulder, urging you to face them and when you do their faces drop in realisation that this really was you. ,,Oh my god Y/N'' Wands cries, tears instantly streaming down her cheeks as she had waited for this for so long. ,,Oh my sweet girl, where have you been?'' Cordelia asks through tears equally, her hands instantly reaching to cup your cheeks. Natasha watches carefully as you flinch at the supremes touch and your confusion when Wanda spoke to you moments before, carefully observing the person accompanying you and watching the scene unfold.

,,I-'' you almost stutter, turning towards Jay in confusion before glancing at the three unfamiliar women again. ,,Who- who are you?'' you ask confused, watching as their hearts shatter in front of you. ,,Y/N'' Cordelia begins, her eyebrows furrowed with confusion and pain. ,,I don't know who you are and my name is Alex'' you repeat, growing frustrated and still thinking they are mistaking you for someone else. ,,It's us'' Wanda tries, reaching for your hand hoping her touch could do anything, make you feel, make you remember. ,,Sweetie, this is Natasha, Wanda and I'm Cordelia'' the blonde tries to remind you and despite recognising the first two from somewhere, you still had no clue what was happening. ,,So you.. you know me?'' you ask confused, having no memory of your life until a few months ago back when Jay had found you.

,,Know you? detka.. we.. love you'' Natasha tries, finally finding her voice despite the pain almost crushing her whole. Your face turns from confusion into shock listening to their words. Helplessly you search their eyes for any sign of a lie despite not knowing them well but something within you told you could trust the set of brown and two set of green eyes who are equally pleading with you to listen, to trust them. ,,Jay?'' you almost whisper, getting his attention before he looks at you, your eyes pleading anxiously and frustrated at your husband, he having been the only one by your side since you can remember. ,,This is clearly a mixup, her name is Alex'' he claims before tugging at your arm and ushering you to follow him. ,,Hey back off'' Natasha warns, gripping his arm hard and freeing you of his grasp. ,,Nat.. calm down'' Cordelia ushers, stepping between the two of them before pulling the Russian away.

,,I'm sorry'' you whisper with guilty eyes before following Jay and within seconds they had lost you again as you are out of sight. Natasha tried to follow, however she was stopped by Cordelia, the supreme knowing they couldn't figure it out like this. A loud sob suddenly ripples through Wanda, causing Cordelia to let go of the redhead. ,,Wanda hey'' the supreme tries, watching as the ginger sinks to her knees, watching you walk away again. ,,Malishka it's okay'' Natasha tries, doing her best to hide her own pain and broken heart and the confusion of all of this. Together, they help Wanda back on her feet, collecting the bags that had been dropped in the process of this before taking the exhausted and confused witch home, careful of her fragile state.

It didn't take long before they made it home, tugging Wanda into bed as the confusion and pain of seeing you again and you not recognising them had tired her out. With gentle hands, they had tugged her in, gave her some water and dried her tears before softly coaxing her to sleep. As soon as the Scarlett witch had settled, Cordelia and Natasha leave the room, leaving the door open a little bit incase Wanda would wake and need them by her side again. ,,What the hell was that?'' Natasha sighs, her accent again thick due to her frustration. ,,I don't know.. I don't understand'' Cordelia cries, finally letting her walls down and the tears flow. Rubbing her temples in confusion, the supreme paces through the hallway and living room, trying to make sense of this, going over the scene again and again to make sure that she hadn't missed anything. ,,How can she just not recognise us?'' Natasha sighs before speaking again ,,And who the hell was that Jay guy?'' she asks in frustration, her fists forming in anger.

,,I don't know but I don't like this Nat, she doesn't like being around guys, you know that better than I do'' Cordelia tries, remembering your past trauma from your life before meeting them and joining the avengers eventually. ,,I gotta figure this out'' the redhead announces, before grabbing her keys and jacket. ,,Where are you going?'' Cordelia asks, worry evident in her voice. ,,The compound.. I'm sure I can find something on the guy there'' she ushers before glancing at the supreme one more time and her eyes pleading for permission. Of course the blonde agrees, knowing if anyone could figure this out it was the black widow. ,,Be safe for me'' she ushers before Natasha steps closer, softly wiping her tears and kissing her forehead goodbye. ,,Look after Wands for me'' she whispers as they share a moment of intimacy. ,,I promise and you'll let us know?'' the supreme asks before Natasha nods and leaves in a rush.

While Cordelia takes a moment to breathe, before eventually joining Wanda in the bedroom again and laying beside her, making sure she could be there as soon as her girlfriend would wake, Natasha was quick to make it to the others. ,,Natasha'' Tony exclaimed almost excitedly, not having seen the woman for a couple of weeks. His features turned serious along with Steve's as they quickly take in her tense features and the concern in her green eyes. ,,What is it?'' they ask almost in unison before the redhead sighs. ,,We saw Y/N today'' she sighs before their faces turn into confused ones. ,,But that's grea-'' Tony begins before she cuts him off. ,,It would be, if she remembered us and wasn't accompanied by some strange guy'' Natasha huffs, their eyes meeting as the words settle in. ,,What can we do?'' Steve asks concerned, always having been fond of you and your disappearance hurting them equally as they had missed you around and ultimately both Wanda and Natasha.

,,I need to pull up any CCTV from the market and surrounding areas and I really have to find that Jay'' she announces before they both nod, Tony already walking towards a computer and joining Natasha while Steve goes to collect some more members, fully prepared to join Natasha on this mission of finding you. They spent the next several hours going through any details and despite it being quite tedious at first, they manage to actually find some footage of both you and the guy that Natasha had mentioned getting into a car. Once they found this, it took them seconds to pull up a name, quickly realising that his name wasn't actually Jay and pulling an adress from the licence. ,,I'm going'' Natasha was quick to announce, before Tony and Steve had stopped her, ushering her that they would go as well, as she had no idea what she may walk into.

Natasha halted in her steps, thinking whether this was wrong of her, whether she should include Wanda and Cordelia in this. After all they are two of the most powerful witches on earth and could surely help her figure this out. A part of her knew that this came with certain risks if this was truly not just some guy you are living with and she didn't want her girlfriends anywhere near that danger. So in the end she agreed, following Tony and Steve into one of the cars, insisting on driving as she was undeniably the fastest. It doesn't take her long until they pull up to an industrial building block with several apartments. She had convinced Tony and Steve to leave their gear behind as she didn't want to risk scaring you incase this wasn't what she thought it was. And so, the three of them quickly make their way to the building, opening the front door as it had been unlocked before climbing several stairs to reach the adress of the guy they had found, supposedly going by the name Jay.

Tony is quick to use his technology to determine that the apartment is empty, before Natasha breaks the door open with a lock pick, trying not to leave any tracks behind. As soon as they step inside, they find photos on the wall of both you and Jay and Natasha could instantly tell that those weren't real, as she had seen pictures of your younger years and the job being overall poorly done. As the three of them spread out and search the place, they quickly discover that it almost looks like a normal home, however as they take a closer look, their suspicion grows. Steve finds multiple weapons, some guns and also some weapons they had never seen before while Tony tries hacking into the computers to get as much information as possible. Natasha goes through your and Jay's belongings, eventually finding some clothes and nothing out of the ordinary at first. ,,Nat'' Steve calls out from the bathroom, having found a cracked tile in the bathroom behind the sink exposing a book.

,,The therapist said it was a good idea to write things down'' he begins reading out loud ,,My Husband.. Jay.. that feels weird to say. It's not right.. but he's nice'' Steve reads out loud, Natasha being able to recognise your handwriting in an instant. She can't help but scoff, feeling the anger bubbling inside of her. ,,Oh don't be jealous'' Steve tries joking to lift the mood, however Natasha can't seem to find any of this funny. With a swift motion she snatches the book from his hands, flipping through the pages, exposing drawings and more writing. ,,Guys we gotta go'' Tony calls, before Natasha slides the book into the inside of her vest. ,,Let's go'' Steve ushers, reaching for Natasha arms as she stands frozen in the hallway, staring at the fake photographs of you. ,,Did you get anything from that?'' the redhead asks as soon as they get back into the car, Steve the one driving this time. ,,Yes pulled it all, Friday found the base and locations, seems to be some type of organisation'' he explains before Natasha's heart sinks in her chest.

,,We need to go there now'' the redhead ushers before Steve and Tony glance at each other. ,,Give it a day or two, we need to plan this accordingly'' they try to convince her but she is having none of it. ,,She is there, they have her and probably brainwashed her'' she tries arguing before Steve speaks again ,,I know but Nat, she has been safe so far and if we do this wrong we may lose her again'' he speaks and this time she remains silent, knowing that he has got a point with this unfortunately. ,,Let us take you home'' they offer and Natasha remains silent, caught in a wave of painful memories and flashbacks with you, the guilt of this whole thing consuming her entire being. She should have protected you, should have prevented this, should have been by your side.

Almost aimlessly Natasha walks back into her home, ignoring the worried glances from both Cordelia and Wanda as they watch her walk inside. ,,Darling, what is it?'' the blonde tries, only finding the redhead looking right through her, her expression pale and they fear the worst. ,,Please tell me she's okay'' Wanda begs, having seen that same expression on people's faces before and knowing it didn't mean good news. Natasha snaps out of it as soon as she hears the fear in Wanda's voice ,,Yeah, let's sit'' she ushers almost a little absentmindedly still, before walking towards the kitchen table. They both remain silent, waiting for their lover to speak first and it takes a little while for the woman to compose herself and find the right words. ,,We found an adress'' she begins speaking before filling them in on what they had found, the assumption of an organisation behind this, your fake life, fake photographs. They both listen intently, the confusion, pain and grief written over their faces as the extend of the situation weighs in.

,,And I found this'' Natasha speaks, as she had been unsure whether to show them the book she had found. Cordelia is the first one to reach for it, skipping through the pages and reading over your words, her equally recognising your handwriting in an instant. Wanda watches as well, finding drawings of silhouettes ,,Wait that's us'' she speaks confused, before Cordelia reads a little further. ,,Yeah she has these dreams'' Natasha speaks, having read those pages earlier. Silence fills the room, the three of them still left in utter confusion, they had even doubted whether it was really you at the markets as you had been so adamant that your name was a different one but it all fades together as they recognise themselves in your drawings. ,,What have they done to her?'' Wanda sighs, her eyes quickly turning a dark shade of red as she is over washed by anger. ,,Do you have an adress?'' the scarlet witch asks and both Natasha and Cordelia look at her with shocked expressions.

,,Tony has all the data but we need to do this right'' Natasha tries, despite wanting nothing more than to run in there herself. ,,I want to go as well'' Wanda demands, feeling like she has been the least useful in all of this. ,,We'll do it together once it's time'' Natasha reassures, finding Cordelia's grateful smile meeting her as she knows she isn't part of the avengers of course but still wanting to be there for this and help. ,,We should get some rest and wait for further instructions from Tony tomorrow'' Natasha sighs after a while, slowly feeling the effects from today and the lack of sleep from the last few months finally catching up with her. Despite the comfort of being with each other and knowing that at least you are alive and they know where you are, neither of them find much sleep, Wanda mostly overtaken by anger at the people doing this to you, Cordelia deeply worried for your wellbeing and what this all would mean for you and Natasha going over and over the fake photos, as if they had been burnt into her memory.

It takes another couple of days before the avengers had gathered the information necessary. They managed to find the base where the operation was working from and after a debriefing with most of them, including Natasha, Wanda and Cordelia, they are finally ready to find you again. Tony had only agreed to let them join if the three of them stayed back and let them do the main job, and despite agreeing they all knew it wouldn't be that easy for your girlfriends to stand back. With swift motions, Tony manages to hack into the building, entering and most of the avengers taking care of some guards by the front. After getting towards the lower floor, they find a huge base, including weapons they had never seen before, countless vehicles and high end technology. It baffled them how they had missed this for so long but they stayed determined and focused, taking out the guards one by one, Natasha and Wanda leading Cordelia further into the base. It takes them a while until they finally find the man that had accompanied you before and Wanda's rage quickly takes over as she sends him flying to the nearest wall, lifting him in the air with her magic over and over again.

Cordelia physically has to stop Wanda before Natasha approaches the man, gripping him by the throat and lifting him into the air yet again before speaking ,,Where is she?'' she speaks, her eyes turning darker. ,,I have no idea what you are talking about'' he struggles with his words before Natasha's fist lands in his face, sending a wave of blood flying. ,,Y/N where is she?'' she demands again, raising her first in order to get him to speak. ,,Sure you'd like to know'' he smirks in a disgusting way before Natasha's hand squeezes his throat tighter. ,,I know you have been to our place'' he hisses and Wanda is quick to enter his mind, finding out the information that they needed before again sending him flying and dropping unconsciously to the nearest wall. ,,This way'' she ushers, being able to tell where they had been keeping you.

Together, with the avengers they find some back rooms, struggling to find you at first but Cordelia abruptly halts in her steps as she can hear your whimpering in her head through her telepathy, instantly causing for her heart to drop. ,,Over here'' she cries out, causing for all of them to rush into the room. Natasha finds you tied up on a chair, several computer screens around you, as you are hooked up to machines, some wires on your head and you slipping in and out of consciousness. ,,Oh my god'' Wanda cries, quickly running over before freeing you from the machines. ,,My god what have they done to you detka'' Natasha whispers, taking in your broken features. ,,We need to get her out of here and to med bay'' Steve encourages before Natasha takes you into her arms, quickly abandoning the rest of this mission and Wanda and Cordelia following the redhead and your almost lifeless frame to the nearest quinjet. ,,Stay here and finish this'' Natasha pleads with Tony and Steve and they are quick to agree, knowing it took more than this to stop this organisation altogether. ,,She'll pull through, she always does'' Steve encourages before they part ways.

And then within the weeks following, the real pain began as they slowly uncovered the organisations secrets, beginning to understand what they had done to you and how much you had suffered. They each struggled in their own ways, Wanda almost torn apart by her rage wanting nothing more than to kill the people responsible for this. Cordelia had been on the verge of losing it equally, abandoning her duties which was highly unlike her but she couldn't focus on anything else but you. Natasha tried to stay sane and calm, at least having you back with them, however it took every bit of strength and composure to be by your side and keeping Cordelia and Wanda safe in the process. It took a week in total for you to finally wake up and when you did, every single muscle in your body hurt, your brain felt fuzzy, your vision blurry and dizzy.

As you finally manage to open your eyes, you tense immediately, remembering what happened before you passed out, how mad Jay had been at you and forcing some medicine into you, how you had no idea what you had done wrong. Your heart rate slows as you catch a glimpse of the three women from your dreams again, quickly relaxing as you realise it's another dream and not your horrible reality. It's when Cordelia crouches down beside your bed, noticing you waking, her eyes filled with tears, when you realise this wasn't a dream as they never spoke in your dreams. ,,Y/N?'' her voice is soft and calm. ,,My name is Alex'' you quickly speak, despite the words coming out raspy and broken.

Your vision adjusts as you watch them glance between each other ,,It's not sweetie and deep down you know that'' the blonde again speaks softly and reassuringly. ,,I don't.. everything feels funny.. I don't understand'' you speak as tears fill your vision, everything feeling painful and overwhelming. ,,We got you back'' Natasha says, her voice hoarse. Their words get you thinking, the lack of memories, Jay hooking you up to machines, torturing you, the strange place, the life that felt fake and then suddenly these three who you had no memory of other from that one time and your dreams. And somehow they made sense, they felt more real than anything you could remember. ,,He wasn't really my husband was he?'' you whisper, chin wobbling and hands trembling as tears continue pouring. ,,No detka'' Wanda whispers. ,,But we...'' Cordelia begins ,,We're yours darling'' she speaks softly, almost reassuringly and you can't help the way she suddenly makes you feel calm, stopping the trembling of your hands, the wobbling of your chin and how she wipes your tears, for the first time in a long time making you feel safe and sound.

Slowly the days turned into weeks, the beginning spent with a lot of bed rest as they hated the idea of you leaving med bay too soon, however you had been cleared and so with your permission they took you home. Of course you had no idea what home was and it felt strange, entering the walls with photos of you everywhere alongside with the three women that you had gotten to know better as they had been sitting by your bed every day for weeks. Still, you couldn't tell whether it was another fake life, another organisation capturing you after you had learned what happened to you. You couldn't tell and a part of you felt like not trusting them, despite feeling a strange connection to them, especially due to your reoccurring dreams with them and your drawings. The first week after bringing you home, they had been increasingly worried as you stayed in the guest room most days, mostly sleeping and forgetting, rather entering the comfort of your dreams than the pain of reality. You barely ate, barely moved, barely talked as your past slowly came to haunt you each waking moment.

,,We need to help her'' Natasha speaks with an urgency in her voice as she again sits there with her two girlfriends for lunch, you sleeping through another meal, another day. ,,We need to give her time'' Cordelia tried arguing, knowing this must have been a lot to process. ,,I agree.. with Nat'' Wanda says, taking the blonde and redhead by surprise. ,,We can't let her waste away like this'' she huffs, fiddling with her rings due to her nerves. ,,I have an idea but I'll need her consent and yours'' and she didn't need to explain further for the other two to understand what she was implying. And so gently, they coaxed you from your shell, waking you gently and offering you some food before Wanda tried her approach carefully.

,,Darling, I would like to try something to help you and us'' she explains and you simply look into her eyes, feeling empty and hopeless at this point. ,,Do you trust me?'' she asks carefully and you freeze then. Did you trust them? They seemed so familiar and like your home but at the same time they are strangers, two avengers and two witches that could easily be tricking you, playing their own game. How could you ever trust anyone ever again? But something within you takes over, simply nodding your head before you watch her eyes turn a shade of red as her hand gently hovers on your forehead.

Wanda watches, seeing how you had left work that day , excitedly glancing at your phone before a truck approached at high speed, hitting you purposely before two men leave the truck, capturing you. Despite the memories being blurry, she manages to put it together, how they made you wake up in a hospital when in reality it was their base, how they had drugged you, given you details of a fake life, giving you several drugs and medications, serums to make you stronger. From what the avengers had discovered she manages to put it together at last, as her hands leaves your forehead, tears welling in her eyes. This had been their plan all along, to capture an avenger, to turn you into their super solider to destroy them, getting you to play along to this picture perfect life while trying to convince you to join their purpose. Only when they had realised that they had been caught on, they tried to go ahead but thankfully Natasha and the rest figured it out and found you in time.

,,I'm so sorry sweetie'' she whispers, having seen and felt every bit of your pain. Natasha and Cordelia watch in pain, not needing the details to know whatever happened must have been traumatic. You stay silent, unsure what to do or say before feeling a little fuzzy. Your brain feels on fire a little after feeling your memories, feeling Wanda entering your thoughts and memory. ,,Detka.. are you okay?'' Natasha asks, noticing the shift in your behaviour and how considerably pale you turned within seconds. ,,I'm tired'' you whisper before meeting their expressions. Cordelia gives you a sad, encouraging smile, giving you permission to go rest and you do, wanting nothing more than to sleep again, to forget, to enter your reoccurring dreams with them as it had been the only escape for you.

,,Wands what did you see?'' Natasha asks after watching you leave before the witch closes her eyes, sighing. ,,Pain.. great pain'' Wanda cries, her green eyes filled with tears. Cordelia frowns, gently reaching for the witches hand and holding onto it tight. ,,Tell us please'' Natasha encourages before the witch fills them in, telling them about the accident and what had happened since and they sit in shock listening to her words, wanting nothing more than to hold you, run to you and hold you in their arms. But they knew they couldn't, not until they somehow managed to get you back, get you to remember and back to them. ,,We need to help her remember us'' Natasha sighs before finding her two girlfriends agreeing in silence but their faces betray their anxiety and hopelessness about the success of making that happen.

Within the weeks following, the three of them try their best to include you more in every day things. Wanda had taken you for a picnic, Natasha to the place with the special view and to the avengers compound, gently showing you around and meeting the others in the hopes to spark your memories again. And slowly you did remember little things, mostly places and odd little details like where your old room had been before moving in with your girlfriends at the compound. Today, it had been Cordelia's turn and she offered to take you to the academy after finding a drawing of the mansion and you telling her how you remember a large white building with black iron fences and a gate. ,,Ready sweetheart?'' she asks gently, offering her hand to you and you taking it before following her inside.

Within the last few weeks you slowly learned to trust them, learning more about the people who you used to know everything about, every detail. You learned more about their life, how Wanda loved baking, Natasha appeared to be a badass on the outside but is in reality a huge softie and how truly kind and beautiful Cordelia truly was. As you follow her inside, you are greeted by the scent of vanilla and it reminds you of the supreme as whenever you had been around her lately she had smelt just like that. She leads you through a large hallway, you watching in awe of the marble and details that seem strangely familiar. She introduces you gently to some people who you had met before losing your memories, before leading you outside into the gardens and greenhouse.

The greenhouse had always been your sanctuary before everything fell down and changed, despite not being a witch yourself, often spending time there with Cordelia and the other witches, sitting in on some classes, Delia teaching you how to mix potions, watching her in awe of her magic and loving to be around the plants and atmosphere. ,,Does any of this feel familiar darling?'' she asks softly, watching as you carefully observe the little details. ,,Hmm..a little?'' you ask a little lost and helplessly, almost feeling bad for how they had tried and wanting to remember yourself as your old life they had told you about so much actually seemed beautiful. ,,I just need to take care of some things in my office, would you like to join me?'' she asks slowly, drawing you away from your thoughts but you shake your head. ,,I think I'll stay here for a bit if that's okay?'' you ask and she simply gives you a warm smile before leaving you be.

For a while you spend some time alone, simply taking in the atmosphere before growing a little curious and skipping through some books that had been left from classes before. When Cordelia returns, she watches you sitting on one of the tables, your legs dangling down the side while reading one of the books and she can't help but linger by the doorframe for a minute, as she had found you like this so many times and despite the bitterness of it all, she can't help but feel grateful to have you back. ,,Hi there'' she smiles warmly before approaching you. ,,Hi'' you whisper a little shy before closing the book. ,,I'm all done sweetheart, would you like to go back home?'' she asks, wanting to make sure this isn't too much for you. ,,Um sure'' you mumble and she can notice your hesitation. ,,What is it?'' she asks a little concerned before you speak again ,,Cordelia, you're a witch right?'' you ask, despite knowing the answer to this. ,,But you're also like really powerful right?'' you ask before she nods a little confused.

,,Can you make me remember?'' you whisper, tears filling your eyes as you want nothing more than to remember the life they keep telling you about. Cordelia sighs a little before her gaze drops to the floor. They had tried within the last weeks, both her and Wanda with their magic but you ever only seemed to remember small bits and she didn't want to fail you again. ,,I can try again darling but I'm not sure if it will work'' she explains as her brown eyes meet yours. ,,Please'' you beg with tears glistening in your eyes again. ,,But please make it the real ones'' you plead and Cordelia's eyes close in pain from listening to your statement. ,,I promise, you can trust me'' she encourages before reaching for both of your hands, holding them gently before closing her eyes and resting her forehead gently on yours. You listen as she speaks some latin words, not the ones from before that she tried with Wanda before everything stops for a moment.

As the supreme opens her eyes again and moves away a little, she sighs, assuming it didn't work again before your eyes abruptly open. ,,I'm sorry darling, I'm sure we can do this, it just needs time'' she tries, feeling guilty. ,,De-Delia?'' you whisper before looking up to meet her brown eyes. And that's it, enough for the woman to understand that it worked, as you hadn't called her the nickname in months. Your eyes sparkle in that exact same way they had before all of this happened, and instantly both of your eyes fill with tears, as you clutch to your lover. Somehow, Cordelia's magic had worked, maybe it was the different spell she used, maybe it was the last puzzle piece after remembering slowly, the drawings, the dreams all finally making sense and blending in together. Almost like a little movie you watched your life from before as everything blended in again, the accident, being captured, losing your memories before they had found you. ,,I'm so sorry, I wanted to come home after work, I was so excited to see you three'' you apologise.

Cordelia shakes her head at your statement, gently cupping your cheeks ,,My sweet girl, none of this is your fault ever'' she explains sternly, wanting to make sure you understand her every word. ,,Thank you for giving me my memories back'' you thank her before your lips capture hers in a kiss. ,,Can we please go home?'' you beg under tears, wanting nothing more than to be back in the embrace of your lovers. ,,Of course my sweet girl.. come on'' she encourages, before taking your hand and leading you back home. As soon as the front door opens, you burst inside, watching Wanda baking in the kitchen, Natasha sitting nearby reading on her laptop. ,,Hi you two, how was it?'' the ginger witch asks as you stand there frozen almost. ,,Wands.. Nat?'' you whisper as tears again fill your vision. Wanda drops the spoon on the floor, Natasha instantly abandoning her work as they take a look at you, instantly picking up the nicknames, the shift in your voice and features.

,,I remember.. I remember it all'' you cry, before Natasha runs up to you, Wanda quickly behind. The redhead picks you up, hugging you tight before spinning you around a little ,,Oh detka'' she smiles before kissing your forehead. ,,Malishka'' Wanda smiles with tears before planting kisses all over your face and taking you into her arms. ,,What happened?'' Natasha turns to Cordelia in confusion. ,,She wanted to remember so I tried a different spell and it worked'' the supreme explains before Natasha smiles, despite the shock written across her face. ,,Thank you'' she thanks the supreme, her features serious. ,,You brought her home after all'' the blonde reminds the black widow. ,,I'm so relieved baby girl'' Wanda whispers, still not having let go of you. ,,Is there anything you want, anything we can do for you darling?'' Cordelia asks, despite the relief and gratitude, still knowing you had to go a long way to recover from the emotional and physical trauma you had endured.

,,I-'' you begin but quickly stop yourself as you glance around. ,,I really just want to cuddle'' you whisper with puppy eyes and their faces melt almost in the same way. ,,You can have all the cuddles sweetie'' Wanda smiles before Natasha chuckles a little. In a swift motion she picks you up as you dangle over her shoulder, Cordelia and Wanda chuckling as they follow. ,,Let's get you into bed and all the cuddles you deserve'' the redhead announces as your giggles fill the apartment. And at last, despite the days turning into weeks and weeks turning into months they had managed to finally get their detka back, finally make you remember and have you right back where you belong, in their loving, strong and steady arms.

[sawyerconfort]

the coven + kyle spencer head canons for jealousy issues and how they would each handle it differently?

HI HI HI FOLKS I'M BACK!

Ok, ok, let's do it then!

Lots of lots of ideas for this one! Just you wait!

(Wasn't sure if you wanted me to include Marie on that one, but I did just for the complete headcannons, hope you don't mind, anon!)

Enjoy!

Requests open!

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The Coven and Kyle Dealing With Jealousy Issues (Young!Reader, just for the record!)

Cordelia Goode, Fiona Goode, Zoe Benson, Madison Montgomery, Misty Day, Nan, Queenie, Myrtle Snow, Mallory, Marie Laveau and Kyle Spencer!

Cordelia Goode

Cordelia would be upset, of course.

She would let her insecurities get the best of her when she sees you talking to someone else and seeming too intimate with them.

But I don't think she would let the intrusive thoughts win that fight, not this time.

Cordelia doesn't want to seem so possessive. She's not like that, and she knows it would bother you a lot if it was miscalculated.

So, regardless of the situation, she will just leave where she is, walk to you and wrap her arms around your body, pulling you close to her, her eyes analyzing detail by detail of the other person.

"What is so funny?"

She would ask, pretending to be clueless, so she could take control of the situation better.

Internally, though, you can be sure that a few dark curse words and some not-so-friendly spell ideas are going through her mind, without her being able to show it aloud or with gestures.

She would have her arms around you the entire time, keeping you close until the other person understood that you were hers and nobody else's.

And when you guys get back home, she would insist that you cuddle with her to make up for the moment of insecurity and jealousy.

Fiona Goode

THE QUEEN of drama and jealousy.

Honestly, making Fiona jealous is like leaving a predator without prey.

Of course, she takes great care, despite her strong temper, not to seem like she's trying to pull you out of your comfort zone and push you away from the world for her sake.

But no one (nobody at all) goes unnoticed in Fiona Goode's eyes.

She will probably go to great lengths to touch you in the best places, just to tease you and make the person next to you feel uncomfortable enough to leave.

"It's a shame, my dear, but they're taken."

Just imagine her husky voice saying that, right in your face, also to tease you and to make sure she looks wild when she's jealous?

Fiona probably wouldn't let you talk much longer with the person afterward, or say goodbye. She would pull you to where she is and keep looking the whole time to see if the person isn't following you.

And if so, you can be sure that she would throw the person to the wall with no shame and no fear of being in public.

When you guys got home, she'd make a scene, again, to let you off the hook because she's a drama queen.

There would DEFINITELY be make-up sex.

And it would DEFINITELY be the best sex you've ever had in your life.

Zoe Benson

Crying, drama, insecurity and a little bit of fighting.

Zoe is overly afraid of losing you, but not to the point where she won't let you hang out with other people, friends in general.

The problem is that when the person starts to take advantage of the situation, Zoe becomes confused and desperate.

She is quite similar to Cordelia, though, when it comes to handling the scene itself.

Zoe will just cling to you to make sure she's in control and to make sure nothing bad happens.

However, things get worse on the way home, when she is silent throughout the ride.

She will probably lose her mind when justifying herself, letting her insecurity speak louder and expressing in an exaggerated way how important she is to her.

This is troubling because Zoe knows it is.

Anyway, when the fight is over, she will need some time to think and then she would probably come to you again, to apologize.

"I didn't want our relationship to be a threat, but I'm really afraid that you'll leave me for someone better."

She would hug you and then apologize if she sounded too possessive.

You would end up in a good mood, cuddling and thinking of a way to improve your relationship without jealousy that would be harmful to both of you.

Madison Montgomery

If you thought Fiona was the drama queen, wait until you see Madison.

She just can't control herself.

She doesn't want to control herself.

Every time someone comes close to you, she pulls you close to her very willingly and gives that typical killer look to whoever is looking at you two.

Madison is extremely possessive, especially when it comes to you.

Sure, she doesn't go around hitting and cussing people out for no reason (even though she can do that), but just staring Madison Montgomery intimidates a lot of people.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you're mine and nobody else's, (Y\N)?"

She'll find a stupid excuse to fight with you.

And then she'll drag herself out, pouting and apologizing, confessing how horrible she is as a person.

Or she will probably ask you for kisses to fix the situation.

There's make-up sex, but Madison isn't urgent and aggressive, not that part. She just wants to make love to you so you know no one else would top hers.

Misty Day

Misty is oddly bipolar with her jealousy of you.

Some hours, she may seem too possessive and feel the urge to punch someone because she thinks she's too inadequate for you.

But in the others, she handles it generally well, and just gets a little grumpy.

Considering that years of seclusion in the swamp have prevented her from feeling anything serious about anyone, being jealous is a very unusual and weird thing for Misty.

She doesn't know how to handle it well at first, but she learns to control herself. And she doesn't want to hurt anyone, most of all, especially you.

So most of the time, Misty will just slowly walk over, hug you and let you rest on her chest as she kisses your head and turns to the other person with a sweet little smile.

"Excuse me, the conversation must be great, but they already have a girlfriend, I'm sorry."

On the way home, she would insist on being isolated in her corner for a few seconds, and it would take a considerable amount of time to admit that she is genuinely jealous of you.

But overall, having Misty jealous is just as adorable as having her around.

Nan

Nan is not that over the top when it comes to being jealous of you.

I mean, except for the fact that she can control people's minds - and easily can control hers as well - she doesn't show overly jealousy, and maybe isn't even overly jealous.

She knows that you would never betray her like that, nor would you exchange her for anyone without a reason behind it.

But, of course, Nan has her moments of extreme caution.

She first assesses the person, reads their mind to be on the safe side, just to know how to approach them without scaring you off.

If it's someone who is clearly just someone close and significant to you, she'll let it go, take your hand and gently lead you away, apologizing later.

But if she catches some ulterior motive, oh, then that person is probably screwed for life.

"Oh, sorry, I read your mind, I feel something is wrong and I want to secure my territory. (Y\N) is mine and mine alone."

Nan doesn't like to fight with you, and when you have alone time, she just wants to make sure you're comfortable with her and that your relationship is going well.

The two of you cuddling after discussing the relationship and making a decision about Nan's adorable bouts of jealousy.

Queenie

Get ready for the jealous queen.

Honestly, I feel sorry for the person who decided to test Queenie's patience, especially when it comes to you.

She hates to think about the possibility that you would replace her, but it's impossible not to when everyone else has already replaced her.

Queenie is not at all afraid to approach the person and you when they are jealous.

And she'll hug you and kiss you real quick just so the person on the other end understands that you already belong to someone else.

I don't even need to go into detail about her being a voodoo witch, do I?

Of course, Queenie's case isn't as severe as Marie's, but there would definitely be a thought about creating a doll of the person.

Although Queenie knows the limits of voodoo and knows that it would be cruel if you knew she was hurting someone out of jealousy, so she won't even bring it up and will promise to forget about it quickly.

LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of curses. Every one she knows.

"Listen here, pervert, they already have someone, okay? Get the fuck out!"

You wouldn't fight, even though she always ends the day with a hot head.

She just wants you to know that you're important to her, and that nothing and no one in the world could ever break the bond you have.

Myrtle Snow

Myrtle knows how to deal with feelings, but she's not ready to be jealous of someone.

That's why she is confused about this, about her behavior when she notices that you seem quite happy in the company of someone other than her.

Since Myrtle doesn't control her impulses, she will probably approach you and make up an excuse for you to pull away from the other person, without using excuses or justifying yourself, just getting you out of the way.

No, she would never commit any atrocity with the person who was chatting with you. Myrtle Snow promised that she would change that part of her behavior for you and she will keep it until the end.

"I don't understand, (Y\N), I felt strange… seeing you with them…"

"That's jealousy, Myrtle dear", you'd say, laughing and finding that very cute.

Myrtle would certainly ask Cordelia for advice after the first scene of jealousy, for fear that she was feeling something really wrong, or even to cope better without running the risk of pushing you away.

Anyway, as long as she doesn't lose you, Myrtle doesn't mind feeling weird…

Mallory

Mallory wouldn't handle jealousy, that's the answer.

She would feel too awkward to set boundaries with you, and anyway, she would feel awkward approaching someone out of the blue.

But even if she insists on not hurting you, that feeling that something is wrong would haunt her forever. And that's one thing Mallory would never admit.

Then she would be content to approach you very slowly, putting a hand on your shoulder or wrapping your hips around. And look the person on the other end of the conversation straight in the eye.

"Don't you think you've talked enough?"

She won't say it in a possessive way, but she will turn extremely red when she's done, pulling you back and taking you back to where she was before.

The conversation would be calm and sincere, and Mallory would express that she loves you very much and that she just couldn't bear to lose you.

But she knows you love each other too much - and she loves you enough - to just take care of you like no one else ever would.

Marie Laveau

I just wanted to say that anyone who decides to make Marie Laveau jealous is pretty crazy.

She LITERALLY is the Voodoo Queen, what did you expect?

Years of experience to be sure how to handle such a situation.

Marie won't let it go and will immediately talk to the person who is showing ulterior motives towards you (and believe me, she knows very well when a person is or isn't…) "They already have someone, and that someone isn't you, so get the fuck out."

She wouldn't dare call you names or fight you out of jealousy (definitely Marie is someone who thinks it's cheesy to fight out of jealousy and make a scene)

A LOT of make-up sex.

She loves to tease and tease you during sex after a jealous scene like that.

Marie loves to get you flustered, she thinks it's cute and she's even more in love with you when she's done teasing.

No, no chance of having a person's voodoo spread in Marie's quarters.

Or, at least, not that you ever found out about it…

Kyle Spencer

Kyle is usually not jealous.

But it's because he learned that the rare times he did show it, things got highly self-defeating.

He doesn't want to scare you, so now he just walks up to you, pulls you into his strong arms as he looks you up and down, then kisses you on the nose and pulls you out of the way.

He's secretly ashamed that he can't get the words out anymore, which is why he's always quiet when it comes to a scene like this.

Back in the day, before the accident and death, he was out of control and things almost always ended in a beating, and he doesn't want to be that way anymore, not after meeting you.

"(Y\N). Not. Comfortable."

He would whisper to you as he tried to explain to you what happened, and as he watched to see if you were okay.

When you were alone, he would cuddle with you and pet you, just to make sure you weren't mad that he pulled you out of a conversation where you seemed happy.

[trashbag-baby666]

Sundays With the Clevens

What's Waited Till Tomorrow Starts Tonight au(MOTA hs au)

MOTA Masterlist!

•There's nothing in the world that Gale values more than his family. He loves their little family so much, he's so proud of the life him and John have built for themselves. Therefore, they deemed Sundays their family days. Whether it's just the four of them or with Curt and Ken, they always plan something.

•Their favorite always will remain their little family trail rides. Flynn would always sit between John and the saddle when she was little. But he cried when she began to get too big to ride with him.

•When they took her to get a horse from a local rancher he cried watching her load up her horse into the trailer. Gale rubbed his shoulder and shared some similar feelings about their youngest growing up. John side hugs Gale and whispers in his ear.

"Should we try for another?"

•Gale smiles and shakes his head...maybe in a few years they could look into adoption again?

•On the days they go for a trail ride and a picnic they make sure they're all up by eight. It's about a two hour ride to the lake but they had to account for packing up a lunch and brushing the horses and tacking them up. John still sometimes fights Gale on getting up like they’re 17 all over again.

•They eat a good breakfast, John makes scrambled eggs and bacon, Gale makes pancakes. The whole nine yards, they don’t wanna hear the girls complaining on the ride that they’re hungry.

•Similar to John, Flynn also has to be chased down by Gale to put on sunscreen. Luckily, John can reason with her most of the time. Now that he’s 34 and a dad to two he values sunscreen. If she’s being really stubborn John will recount his stories of stinging sunburns and peeling. Usually, she gives in then.

•Somedays they go swimming at the lake, others they sit on the rocky shore, or their other favorite. Is the wild flower field just a bit further down stream. They’ll take the bridals off the horses and let them graze.

•Today they packed two loafs of Ken’s home made bread with numerous sandwich making items. A selection of lunch meat, peanut butter and jelly, John’s craft singles…, some other cheeses too.

•After lunch they walked down to the river, John ends up with his boots and socks off. His jeans pulled up while him and Flynn looked for cool rocks. Gale watched from the rocky shore, Lady sat next to him with her head in his lap. Cordelia sat not too far from them by her horse and reading her book.

•After awhile Flynn ends up back in the grass doing cartwheels and front walkovers. She’d been trying to teach Cordelia how to do a cartwheel. But it hadn’t been very successful, from what him and John could see. Gale had his head in John’s lap, John’s hands in his air while rocking back and forth.

•Their ride back is usually a bit more quiet and slow. The girls yawn and then John lets out his loud obnoxious yawn. If Lady gets too tired John will pick her up and put her on his saddle. He loves that dog so much and she’s practically his third daughter.

•They usually do something easy for dinner or order pizza. They’ll watch a movie and Flynn’s usually fallen asleep by the end. So one of them will carry her to bed and the other will let Lady out and make sure Cordelia gets to bed.

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Taglist: @austeenbootler @slowsweetlove @coastiewife465 @executethyself35 +reply to be added to the list :3