#cost of fucking everything crisis

[drummuso]

i think all politicians in power should be required to only use the public health services in their country

[dddemigirl]

[jakeperalta]

if 17 year old me knew I'd be living at home at 23 she would've had a breakdown

[yioh]

:-)

[agayconcept]

.

[captainshadowshifter]

I know we brits love a good queue but that one's getting a tad ridiculous

[anarchotolkienist]

The reason why social media has gotten so much worse recently (reddits recent fuck-up, everything on Twitter since Musk, FB being FB, Tumblrs various attempts at expanding profitability recently) is because it is no longer possible to exist as a company by fencing in large parts of our social life and having investment money pump in on the basis of expected future value of that amount of information when it suddenly costs money to loan money due to suddenly high interest rates after the inflationary crisis of the last year, which has made the current model of the Internet that has existed for the last about 10 years completely unsustainable. All of them need to become profitable or die, and they are learning very quickly that that just isn't possible no matter how much of the life and information of the users one steals. We are witnessing the death-throes of Web2.0, and what comes after is as yet unclear.

[qqueenofhades]

i do genuinely hesitate to ask, as i am sure i will find out more than i meant to in time, but atm my various feeds and an uninformed google are not telling me what most recently exploded about the british government, so if you have the time and the inclination i'm agog for your summary/take

HOO BOY. It has been a Things Exploding In the British Government day to the extent that in the hour-odd between my previous post and this one, I had to go back and check if anything ELSE had exploded while I wasn't looking. Everything that they are currently denying will probably be confirmed within the next 12 hours or less, though, so nobody get too comfortable.

Anyway, we all remember how Liz Truss succeeded Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, met the Queen, the Queen immediately fucking croaked which honestly was the funniest time she could possibly have done it, the country ground to a total halt for ten days, and then when it got going again, Truss and her chancellor (aka finance minister, for those of you happily ignorant of British politics), Kwasi Kwarteng, proposed a Thatcherite wet-dream economic plan of unfunded massive tax cuts for rich people, because something something Stimulate Growth. We are also generally aware that this crashed the pound through the floor, blew up people's mortgages and other mildly important bills, and did nothing to deal with the actual energy bills/cost of living crisis currently engulfing the UK. Oops.

After absolutely everybody, including the commie socialists at the Bank of England, screamed OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU MORONS DOING???, and the day after Kwarteng insisted he would absolutely remain in post and he had 100% confidence in the Plan, he... got sacked for creating this, the Plan that Truss had asked him to deliver and which had won her the Tory party members' election. This made him officially the second-shortest serving chancellor in UK history aside from the guy who literally died in office. Womp womp. That will be a pub quiz answer for you. You're welcome.

Having spent all this time hiding from the press, then giving eight-minute press conferences during which you could literally track the pound crashing in real time, and performing more U-turns than a dancing dashboard hood ornament, Liz Truss took a break from her busy schedule of conducting the Economic Disaster Waltz in the key of B Fucked to appoint Jeremy Hunt as the new chancellor. Jeremy Hunt is mostly notable for being a Tory who can put his pants on without assistance and being a genteel failure at all the previous cabinet posts he's held, which is why he is now regarded as a "safe pair of hands" in a party that has dissolved into a lot of shit-flinging coked-up gibbons who can only scream BREXIT BREXIT BREXIT and IMMIGRATION IS BAD!!! (Side note: they recently had to cancel a festival designed to "celebrate the freedoms of Brexit" due to logistics issues associated with, you guessed it, Brexit. That is not directly relevant to the current clusterfuck, but it is too funny not to include.)

To nobody's surprise, Jeremy Hunt then ripped up the entire economic plan and offered a new one, which was not measurably better than the last one but at least reversed some of the most egregious cuts, and which made everyone ask if Liz Truss had been tied up and duct-taped in the boot of a Range Rover and/or if Hunt had secretly staged a coup with the help of Larry the Downing Street Cat and taken over the government. Probably nobody in the Tory party would mind very much if he had, because they were all busy either planning how to oust Truss or publicly denying that they were indeed planning to oust Truss. One of the popular names for her successor? Boris Johnson! No, I am not making this up. Maybe this has all been a horrible dream and we're going to wake up and find that BoZo is back in charge, after massive public scandal for being a serial liar, which he had been from Day 1, finally made him resign. I repeat, what even the hell is going on here. Nobody knows. Meanwhile, Hunt is warning about even more budget austerity and "eye-watering" cuts to public services that can least afford it, because the last decade didn't result in quite enough preventable deaths for the Tories' tastes, and because they have been forced into this by a car crash completely of their own making.

....anyway. This brings us, more or less, to today. Yesterday, Truss refused to commit to protecting something called the pensions triple lock, which guarantees that old-age pensions (the UK form of social security) will rise in line with inflation, costs, or earnings. A) Inflation in the UK is now at a whopping 10.1%, and B) given as old people are literally the only demographic still willing to vote for the Tories, this miiiiiight seem like an even more unnecessarily stupid and self-sabotaging idea. Sure enough, U-Turn Number Eight Million was duly performed this morning, and Truss insisted she had always intended for the triple lock to be protected. But would Universal Credit and other welfare/benefits programs also be adjusted upward for inflation? HELL NAH! THOSE ARE FOR POOR PEOPLE! GROSS!

This, however, was only the beginning of the unpeeling of the latest idiot banana. Keir Starmer, riding high on the back of recent polls that have given Labour a 36-point lead and predicted that the Tories could be left with as few as 22 seats in Parliament if a general election was called tomorrow (leaving the SNP as the official opposition), appeared at Prime Minister's Questions and got to shoot fish in a barrel. Truss did not dissolve into a pile of goo on the floor and/or have a bucket of water thrown on her and melt into Margaret Thatcher, so that was taken as a win. Well, at least for two hours or so. Then Suella Braverman, the ex-Attorney General who had briefly run for the leadership when BoZo resigned, and who exists along with Priti Patel in order to prove that in the modern Tory party, women of color can heroically be just as much as awful xenophobic monsters as crusty old white dudes, resigned as Home Secretary. Did you even know she was Home Secretary? Neither did she. She took over Patel's job in a bid to apparently make Patel look cute and cuddly by comparison, as she is even more determined to do horrible things to migrants as much as possible. The official reason given for her resignation was that she sent an official document from her personal email account, and this had something to do with immigration and/or the Office of Budget Responsibility forecast that the Tories have, in the valiant spirit of freedom, resisted actually publishing for any of their current economic plans. CONSERVATIVES ARE GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY!! yell people on both sides of the Atlantic. Oh-kay.

Anyway, Braverman used her resignation letter to blast Truss for pretending that everything was fine and dandy, which means the BUT HER EEEEEEMAILS was absolutely just an excuse and even she wanted off this sinking ship as fast as possible. Grant Shapps is now the Home Secretary. It's not important. The point is, if more ministers start resigning, the government will probably implode just as it did when they deserted BoZo en masse. What the hell happens then? Fuck if anyone knows. Since they will, as noted, get absolutely cosmically annihilated if they call a General Election, the Tories will resist doing that with all their might (the next one isn't due until 2024, which is about 1004329 years away at the current rate that time is passing here). Truss was already elected by a tiny minority of the country (about 160,000 Tory party members). STICK RISHI SUNAK IN THERE AND CHANGE THE RULES AGAIN?? HECK, SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN! KEEP THOSE MUSICAL CHAIRS COMING, CHAPS!

(Also: we will recall the Daily Star's Lettuce Cam, where a picture of Liz Truss has been placed next to a head of lettuce to see if she is kicked out of office before it rots away. It now has a special companion, Tofu. This is because Braverman, just yesterday, gave a speech attacking the latest round of climate protesters as being spurred on by Labour, the Lib Dems, and the "Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati," which she doubtless thought was a very clever line at the time. Because British Twitter is British Twitter, the Tofu: 1, Braverman: 0 jokes have been rife.)

And since we are still not done: tonight, Labour forced a vote on a fracking ban which was being treated as a de facto confidence vote in the government. Aka if the Tories voted for it, they would be considered to be defying the government. Because Britain is a cartoon country run by clowns, the method of Parliamentary voting literally involves walking through Door A for Aye and Door B for Nay. The "whips," or the people whose job it is to assure that party members vote according to the government's position, have thus been known to physically stuff recalcitrant MPs through these doors, because Hail Britannia, or something. So we soon had reports that the anti-fracking vote was, dare I say it, a total clusterfrack, and the Tory whips were literally throwing crying Tory MPs through the Nay door so they would Vote To Support The Government. This sounds like a beginning to a Monty Python sketch, but it is just another ordinary evening in British politics in 2022! (Did Truss herself vote? Or BoZo, Patel, or any of the other Tory big beasts? Nope. Evidently she was "too distracted" with all the other crises going on, which probably means she just didn't want to show her face or she might get killed. Hard to blame her.)

So: the fracking ban was defeated, Labour MPs were like "oh my god the sheer clownery," even Tory MPs were spitting mad, we soon had more rumors that both the Tory chief whip and the deputy chief whip had resigned (currently in the Official Denial stage, so yeah, that will be confirmed before tomorrow morning), and I haven't even mentioned the part where one of Liz Truss's press aides admitted that they used to lie about various relatives of hers having just died so Truss didn't have to do interviews (actual quote: "just aunts and cousins, not any major relatives!"). We all wondered if that wasn't actually a lie but the minor members of the Truss family had voluntarily decided to die rather than have anyone know that they were related to her. Either that or she just sent MI6 after them. It's entirely possible.

[spiritcc]

EXAMINING EVERY ACE ATTORNEY CASE ON THE LIKENESS OF US BEING PAID

The topic that must be finally put to rest considering how every AA protag and money issues go hand in hand, how many cases did we actually get paid for?

PHOENIX WRIGHT: BROKE ATTORNEY

1 - literally spelled out by the game that larry left us with fuckall, a bad omen of the life to come.

2 - nothing could scare the law offices' balance sheet more than the entrance of maya, but in the frenzy of fighting for the life of our workspace we didnt even notice the whiff of the long-lasting implications.

3 - okay this is the first $u$pect that can pay our bills, no way will powers left us without a relatively phat check so GIRL WE MAKING MONEY!

4 - genuinely if edgelord somehow figured that money dont matter in a friendship, either it was my wallet that bullied him into killing himself between these games or he at least had the decency to utilise von karma's leaked pin code situation and allowed us to drain his bank account posthumously. either way my belief that edgeworth got the bill paid here is naively high.

5 - i dont care if lana was going to pay or not bc i billed her for every fucking turn she did at the detention center. either way whether her estate got arrested in the investigation or not it seems like she'd be forced to pay so im staying positive.

ACE ATTORNEY: RAMEN FOR ALL

1 - maggie. what exactly can maggie even pay me. i feel like the case was more of a friend request anyway so we're eating roaches for dinner again, but i also feel that maggie would be inclined to offer at least something. im not sure if putting down a "presumable twenty" counts as success. i'm going to go with no.

2 - maya is starting to get slightly comfortable being a liability to my expenses, this is my first warning girl.

3 - MAXIMUM GALACTIC PROFIT??? OH HE PAYIN. OH HE PAYIN EVERYTHING OUT OF HIS CLOWN ASS. CONFIRMED. FORCED.

4 - this HAS to be a case of the arrested estate being distributed towards paying the fee because i absolutely refuse to live in a world where maya's existence just keeps costing me money. engarde better have paid for it all. the gallows dont drop until he signs my check.

ACE ATTORNEY: TROUBLES AND REMUNERATION

1 - a very big question mark about what can peenie the fail art student pay and whether grossberg is someone who entertains himself a free case. the existence of case 4 may actually suggest something interesting so let's come back to this one later.

2 - i dont care what kind of crippling debt ma$k has because if his wife can allow a bike she CAN, and WILL, pay my fucking fee i dont care. she looks like the type to pay anyway.

3 - maggie. maggie, maggie, maggie. what does it matter musing on how things would've turned out differently if they had actually remembered my face in time. in either universe, this is another expense, in a crisis where my laundry bill is financially ruining me as coffee cups keep flying in my face.

4 - this is a convict already. what can a convict pay to grossberg law offices? suddenly it looks like his gig takes up on free cases bc usually this dude would get a state attorney, right? is grossberg providing such services? if we are getting paid here, it is only the bare minimum it seems, so in retrospect it IS possible for case 1 to have been completely unpaid. as for this one, marking it as unpaid bc Doubt what we'd get could even pay for a single-ply toilet paper + they'd find a way to pay out even less considering the trial technically didn't go through smh.

5 - bitchass fucking fey family, call it THE FEE FAMILY for the way NONE OF THEM ARE PAYING IT!!!! THEY PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chronologically we have edgelord's two investigation games next so:

THESE TWO GAMES FOLLOW SEVERAL CASES CONDUCTED FOR A MILLIONAIRE'S OWN ENTERTAINMENT. WE DO NOT CONDONE MONEY PRIVILEDGE BEHAVIOUR AND WE BOYCOTT THE ANALYSIS OF THESE GAMES.

MONETARY JUSTICE: ACE ATTORNEY

1 - well money was probably one thing in the whole mess there, sure. Dick Wright jailed this barbie girl motherfucker just so he wouldn't pay the bill. girl we making no money era is back.

2 - weirdly enough but god might exist after all because no way the kitakis are not paying me. we are saved!!!!!

3 - in a grand twist, there is also no way that these moneyfucks are not signing me a phat one so big bet a hot meal was had that day! i think after lamiroir regained her memories she just decided that this fee was her paying off child support for both kids and fucked off forever.

4 - boy I lost my god damn job.

5 - an interesting situation here because this case was most likely sponsored by the state since it's testing out the jury system and all so. we got paid? almost three cases in a row? WOE MAMA!

ACE ATTORNEY: DOUGH'S DESTINY

1 - not this shit again. another freeloader caught up in the scheme of my monetary ruin. at the time when a teenager is feeding a company of four. peenie's new drip alone cost us six months worth of rent. girl we eating discarded prison gruel at the dumpster in this dark age of the law.

2 - oh a wrestler AND a mayor? oho. ohohohoho. ohohohohohoho.

3 - the humble beginnings of my empty wallet, innit. sure, let her get away this time. not my first rodeo.

4 - starbuck for the love of god i know they said their budget went down but he is PAYING that bill or im cutting wires on his rocket and doing phantom a favor here. he can afford to pay me.

5 - maya sure evaded leaving her footprint on my taxes but there's such a sweet difference between an employee and an independent contractor and athena saw why. sure, free case! its cost is taken out of your salary, baby. you're not eating for four months. at least.

6 - hey the aquarium folks Surely have the dough, right? they found us themselves too so that's a definite bill here.

BROKE ATTORNEY: NO SPIRIT OF JUSTICE

every case in the russian republic of village kurainovo was free which is a devastating stain on my financial report this year, remember how durke said we probably cant afford three meals per day? hello????

1 - motherfucker. this case actually cost us about 20 brazilian roubles because albi charged us for the magatama edible. the first case that lands us in the negative twenty. incredible.

2 - i fucking. if trucy thinks her main breadwinner status excuses her from freeloading a case that almost landed us in 3m debt then im selling rights to the gramarye IP to bozo the clown. family is Nothing to me. i havent eaten properly since 2016.

3 - stop fucking reminding me. not only that but fucking MAYA. THE BIGGEST EXPENSE IN MY LIFE IS BACK WITH NO JUSTICE DONE TO MY FINANCIAL WELLBEING. i havent showered in months. remember how nick told edgeworth that he "heard" that washing in the sink is good enough in the temple? so he didnt even do that himself. the lowest point of my life.

4 - with the urgency of it all and everything i have a strong suspicion the payment of this case was soba. max of what we're getting is food from that place. im shaking does this count as fair barter economy in their eyes? we're not in ancient fucking egypt.

5 - penniless, fatherless, across two countries too. whats not to like in this world. we havent seen a cent in this entire game.

6 - THE $PROKET$???? HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Let's count the results:

31 cases across 6 games

13/31 cases most likely than not were paid for in acceptable capacity, which is less than a half. if we exclude cases where the situation isn't entirely clear (eg. engarde, lana), that is even less and we are looking at a third of all cases being remunerated for.

despite quite a few of the presumably paid cases involving rich clients, our gig most likely charges standardised fees, which makes the wealth of our clients irrelevant and simply further questions how much we actually made at the end of the day.

they are not lying, we really are making no money. this is concerning. ga'ran was right, fuck the attorneys just go and pick a state-backed position with the forces.

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 1, Unarmed - Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Mild language, Bucky and Reader being Tolkien nerds, light fluff, mention of rabies (it's a super scary disease and we should all be vigilant, okay?!)

Word Count: 1.6k

Previously On...: You just had the pleasure of meeting the very handsome Bucky Barnes. Despite a little bit of awkwardness during your first encounter, you have a feeling your life is about to get a lot more interesting now that he's been introduced into it.

A/N: You know what? I said I wasn't going to do this, but I thought "fuck it!" and decided to post all of Chapter 1: Unarmed. My anxiety is too high to just sit on it. So, please enjoy Ch1. Pt2! Pts 3 & 4 to follow!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @blackhawkfanatic

The next evening, you were making your way back to your suite after a productive, albeit exhausting, day in your lab. You were working on a crisis prediction real-time monitoring system to anticipate global threats. You were convinced it would allow the Avengers to respond to trouble faster, but perfecting the privacy algorithm had been an absolute pain in the ass, and you still hadn't gotten it quite right. Technically, you could have farmed the project off to a subordinate; hell, even a team of subordinates of a subordinate, but this was one of your pet projects and you insisted on being hands-on in its development.

You had your tablet open as you walked, chewing on your thumb and reviewing the dataset from the run of your latest algorithm model one more time. Closer, but not good enough. If you were going to convince Tony that this was a program worth implementing, especially at its projected cost, everything had to be perfect. "Damn it," you muttered to yourself.

You rounded the corner and ran smack into Bucky's chest, dropping your tablet and causing him to drop the three books he'd been holding under his remaining arm. "Oh, shit-- I'm so sorry," you uttered as you bent down to retrieve the dropped items. Bucky leaned down to assist you, but you waved him off.

"’S my fault; I've got it," you told him, piling up his books for him. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Bucky leaned up against the wall and chuckled while you stood up and handed the books back to him. "I doubt you could hurt me," he said, smiling softly. "No offense."

You let out a small laugh. "None taken." He was a super soldier, after all. Stealing a glance at book spines, you couldn't suppress the smile that crossed your face. "Lord of the Rings," you nodded appreciatively. "Have you read them before?"

Bucky looked down at the books tucked under his arm. "No, first time. I read The Hobbit back when it was first published in '37, but these didn't come out until after..." he trailed off, but you knew what he meant. After he'd been abducted and brainwashed, turned into a murderer.

You nodded in understanding. "I'm actually really excited for you," you told him. "What I wouldn't give to be able to read them again for the first time."

"You a Tolkien fan, then?" he asked you. When you nodded, he continued: "When I finish them, maybe we can talk about them sometime? Steve's not really into fantasy."

"Yeah, I'd like that," you said. "If you're interested, we could watch the movies. I'll warn you though; they're long as hell, but their masterpieces. I mean, they didn't need to turn The Hobbit into three separate films, but still, they'll blow your fucking mind."

Bucky ran his tongue over his lower lip and you couldn't help but follow the motion with your eyes. "That sounds like fun," he said, his eyes twinkling with... something. "Your place or mine?" Was he… flirting with you?

"How 'bout you finish the books first, then we'll talk logistics," you teased. "Hey, speaking of, what floor did they end up putting you on?"

"Um, this one, actually," he said, tilting his head toward a nearby door.

"No shit," you remarked, laughingly. "You must have done something to piss Rogers off, because he put you right across the hall from me."

Bucky looked down, scuffing the toe of his boot against the carpeting. "He said it was the quietest floor, thought I'd prefer that."

You pursed your lips, considering. "Yeah, that makes sense; it's just been me on this level for ages. It'll be nice to have some company for a change."

Bucky looked surprised. "Stark's kept you down here all by your lonesome? That doesn't seem very nice."

You shook your head and dismissed his concern with a wave. "Oh, no-- Tony hates that I still live down here, actually. He put in all new living quarters a few years back. Everyone migrated upstairs, but I was the only one who didn't want to move."

"Why's that?" Bucky asked, appearing genuinely interested.

"I've lived here since I graduated college," you admitted, "back when it was still just Stark Tower. When Tony relocated here from Malibu to rebrand it for the Avengers, he wanted to redo everything, which meant fancy new suites for everybody. But I love my rooms, so I asked to stay put. They've been my home for so long now and I guess I just like the stability, you know?"

Bucky nodded thoughtfully. "And Tony thinks highly enough of you that he let the blow to his ego slide?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I have enough dirt on him that he felt like he didn't have much of a choice." You snorted, not able to keep up the pretense. "No, but seriously, I know you and Tony have a complicated... history, but he's not a bad guy. Ego as tall as this Tower, yes, definitely, but he's also incredibly kind and generous. He paid for my entire college education-- undergrad, post-grad, doctorate. I owe everything I have to him."

Bucky shifted against the wall. "That is pretty generous. And he never expected anything from you in return?" He didn't say the words out loud, but the implication was there. Had you slept with Tony in exchange for your diplomas? The innuendo should have bothered you, but it had been posed to you so many times over the years, you'd stopped being offended by it. Before Pepper, Tony had had quite the  reputation, after all, and an MIT education didn’t exactly come cheap. Most people couldn’t understand why he would offer a full ride to someone who, at the time, had been a complete stranger.

"Tony appreciates talent," you clarified. "When he finds it, he cultivates it, nourishes it, does everything he can to help it grow to its fullest potential. But he does like to get a return on his investments, and my skills have helped him make a lot of money." You shrugged your shoulders with a chuckle. "I love my job, I love the work we do, I love the stupid weirdo family we've built here, so I've always considered meeting Tony to be the best thing that ever happened to me. He's kind of like my own fairy godfather."

"So, what exactly does he have you do around here?" Bucky asked. "I know Steve said you did computer stuff, but you said it was an over-simplification."

You ran a hand up to rub the back of your neck while you considered your answer. How best to explain your position to someone who was born before the invention of the television? "Okay," you exhaled, "so, short answer is that I'm the CTO, the Chief Technology Officer, of Stark Industries and, under that, I run the Avenger’s Technology and Innovation Department. It's sort of our take on Research and Development. I've got a lab where I'm in charge of about 450 scientists, engineers, computer programmers, analysts, et. cetera. And our entire job is coming up with cool new ways of making things easier for the Avengers. Like, new features for suits, developing useful programs, coming up with new defenses and weapons, that kind of thing. And if we've got missions that require heavy computer- or tech-work, I come along for on-site support. I'm combat-trained and good with languages, so that comes in handy in the field. There’s probably a ton of field agents that could go in my place, but for Tony, it’s a matter of trust."

Bucky let out a low, appreciative whistle. "Damn. That's impressive. You're a little intimidating, you know that?"

Laughing, you tucked your tablet under your arm. "Please. I'm about as intimidating as a hamster." You paused to think. "Maybe a hamster with rabies, but still a hamster."

A series of beeps emanated from your tablet. As you pulled it out to check the alert, Bucky moved away from the wall. "I'm so sorry-- you were heading back to your room and I've basically been holding you hostage this entire time."

"Actually," you said, silencing the notification alarm that had distracted you, "That was just a reminder I set for myself to eat. Sometimes I lose track of time in the lab and completely forget to have dinner. Are you hungry? You could join me."

Bucky pulled his head back, regarding you as though he wasn't sure if you were serious.

"Or, if you don't want to, that's cool," you said quickly once you noticed his hesitation. "I mean, you wanted a quiet floor. Annoying neighbor is probably the last--"

"I'd love to," interrupted Bucky with a grin. "I'm just surprised someone like you would want to spend time with someone like me."

"Someone like me? Hey now, for all you know, I could be an absolute trash person," you teased, playfully punching him on the shoulder.

Bucky chuckled, his eyes sparkling with a newfound warmth. "Well, I highly doubt that, but I guess I'll find out soon enough."

"Don't say I didn't warn you when you do." You cocked your head toward the door to your room. "I'm going to change out of my work clothes. While I do, how about you decide what you're in the mood for, and we'll go from there. That sound good?" Bucky nodded as you let yourself into your room. The evening had taken an unexpected turn, but you found you were looking forward to spending more time in the company of Bucky Barnes.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[riswippiesx]

Drive you insane | Geto Suguru x Fem! Reader[Fall out AU]

•part one

Theme: Mature(MDNI), 18+ NSFW

Fic TW: dark content! smut, world building, twisted morals, meteor fall out, world destroy, corruption, evil plans, conversation for world domination, foul language, looking down of the poor people, degradation, face slapping, slut shaming, spanking, unprotected sex(don't do this irl), fucking in a open place (but no body sees), teasing(a lot), creampie, breeding, mention of starting a family, porn with plot, not proof read !

Ch TW: Meteor attack, world destroy, uneven social systems, hate towards poors, death and injury, scams and plotting, foul language, barging into an oral sex, insult, fantasy, aroused thoughts, hint of masturbation etc.

Summary: You were respected in your world for being a savior during the meteor fall out but you had different plans which no one knew untill another heroic personality appeared to help the poor people. You thought would get rid of him but he knew everything about your little plan, he caught you. Would he expose you? Or help you out?

Note: Tried something new this time. To read this, you need mature mindset. Reader is twisted and not at all innocent. I hope you enjoy <3

05/08/2019

The fear of humans came true, the giant meteor, which was prophesied to hit the earth's ground soon, actually fell on the living planet, destroying a big part of asia. A few smaller meteors followed the bigger one and hit a few close areas. Despite of all the warnings and safety campaigns, many people died. The world population decreased in an instant. The ruler system fell apart. World economy was grounded. Smoke clouded the sky. Glimpse of heinous fire could be seen here and there. Air was heavy with painful whimpers and sobs.

Even in such crisis, a few classy families of politics and leaders were provided the highest level of safety with the secure houses made of the finest stuffs. A large part of food and water was preserved for them. Two or three of such families or family members survived well enough while the poor survivors died, lacking food water and medication.

You were the eldest daughter of a well known person. You dad used to be a bright face in world politics. He was cruel and selfish. He had both power and money. So he spoilt you as much as he wanted. You inherited his stubborn rude nature in yourself.

You were twenty years old when the fall out took place. Your younger brother was fourteen. If you were spoiled, he was like a little demon. He did whatever he wanted at such early age which costed his life in the meteor attack. He wanted to see how it looked when a meteor fell on poor average people. So he ran out of the safety shelter and your father followed him to bring him back. Of course the meteor hit both of them and they died. Their sudden death was tough for you to handle but a part of you was somewhat happy that you would have none in you way from then.

Your father was wise enough for collecting the precious papers and plans related to world domination before hand. So with the help of those papers and your dead father's reputation, you got your hands on the world politics easily.

05/08/2020

One year from that day, the world government fell apart but with the help of the survivors, somehow they managed to get things together in a way. The authorities chose the powerful survivors and decided the areas around the world to take care of. You were a chosen one. A large part of asia was given to you for nurturing and developing.

You agreed very easily and took over the area. You had to put on a mask which helped you to act kind. You hated people bellow your standard but for the sake of greater future, you offered help to those "bullshit" survivors.

At first you were disgusted by the condition of those survivors, some lost their legs, some lost their both of the eyes or one and the injury list could go far long. The authorities sent a team to each leaders and you chose some employs from your area. Your team was slowly building up. You were earning people's trust and respect with your coating of kindness. You were earning trust from the the head authorities as well. They were pleased with your work. But you had hunger, hunger for something greater, hunger for all of it. This was very less of a portion when you were starving for world domination. Your father was one of the main faces of the world. You needed to be the "only" main face of this fallen world.

As the days continued, your team grew bigger with the healthier survivors joining. Your heavily inspired them. Your soft behavior and kindness intrigued a lot of them. Your pretty face was also another reason for many young men's joining. You could notice how many people looked up at you with adoration in their eyes, some were romantic, some were platonic.

Overall it was going how it was supposed to. But, behind every eyes, you were plotting something. You wanted to snatch away powers from the other seven leaders around the world, by corrupting them anyhow. You collected papers from various sources. Since the radio waves and towers fell apart, the world connection was slow but still content. You took your time in collecting the weak points and potholes of other leader's work. You spent years after years planning, earning trusts and working on papers which would destroy your enemies. After all, the world should belong to where it's supposed to, under your feet.

Your trusted team helped you in this. You made a private team of four people. They helped you to find the papers and other things whenever you needed. They were your right hand people.

Your first victim was your neighbour leader, with whom you shared a part of asia. He was a kind man, genuinely kind. He wanted to help the poor people. Though he also belonged to a famous household before the fall out, his mind wasn't that corrupted. How boring! You used the papers about the secret scams of his family which your dad once collected and anonymously sent it to the head authority, to show how much of a scammer that family was. Your father was a savior but couldn't save himself though. To prove your point a bit more, your team went undercover and stole the money which was sent by the head authorities for the fund works, resulting a huge miscalculation in reports. Poor leader couldn't defend himself and his spot was snatch away at once by the authorities. There were no chances of mistake in a world of needs. So you appeared as a savior again and helped the poor people with shelter and food with medication. Already pleased authority was delighted by your "sweet gesture" and offered that area to you and you took it the offer in order to "help the people in need".

20/12/2023

You were busy in checking the reports from your team about the developement around your area. Some files on the food and shelter restock was attached with the main report. You had a pen in your hand while you seated on the luxury chair of your office.

You heard a knock on your door.

"Ma'am? May I come in?"

You didn't raise your head and uttered a "yeah". The other person pushed the door open and entered your well maintained, classy office room.

"Ma'am, there is someone who seeks your visit"

Your brows got twisted as you looked up.

"I wasn't informed about any meeting today. Who is it?"

"He has stated that he wants to join your team."

"Oh. But in order to join, he needs to meet my assistant first. Not me. You all know the rule, right?", you looked at your worker.

"Yes ma'am we know. We tried to tell him all that but he isn't listening. He said that he was full of potential and you are the only one who could value it truly."

"Oh what a bold mouth he got", you grinned. "That's indeed interesting. Fine. Tell him to wait outside for ten minutes"

"Alright ma'am", the worker bowed and left the the room.

You were amused. You knew that you had some admirer who joined your team just for you. Actually you didn't mind them at all, instead they were easy to control. But this guy seemed very confident in himself. It'd be fun in taking control over him.

You were smirking to yourself as you finished your paper works and signed where you needed to. You kept the file aside when you heard a knock on your door. You checked the clock when your worker left to inform hin about ten minutes wait, it was 11:30 am and the knock came right on 11:40 am. Accurate on time ! Impressive.

"Come in", you spoke. The door was pushed open once again and there stood the guy, so majestic that you couldn't look away. Those raven hairs in neat bun with a lock hanging loose on his left side of face, those dark intriguing deep eyes and that sharp face— he was handsome, you needed to admit. And this dark ear piercing made him look even better.

"Thank you for giving me a chance, ma'am", honey dripped in his voice as he spoke. You were impressed by his physical appearance but you weren't a person to loose your composure either. You gestured him with your familiar sweet and kind smile.

"No problem. Come take a seat"

He came and sat at on the chair at the other side of your desk.

"I heard you claim that you have potential?", you questioned him.

"Certainly, ma'am"

"Very well. Care to introduce your self?", you eyes danced in hidden mischief.

"I'm Geto Suguru. I'm 27 now."

"Alright, Mr. Geto Suguru, reason for your arrival today?"

"I came here as a face of Japan"

"Face of Japan?"

"Yes, I survived by fate. So to help the others in need, I worked with the local helping teams. I'm well trained in doing the fund work. I used to work as a leader of National Public Support of Japan. So for greater help, the local people told me to come and join your team. I heard from them that you are a great leader. I'd be blessed if I get to work under you."

"Hmm. And you want me to hire you, based on your words only?"

"I have my reports and documents. Here", he offered you a file. You eyed the file and noticed the details. He was speaking the truth. While you were checking the file, you could feel that his eyes were pointed stright at you. Of course it was, almost everyone had the same reaction when they looked at you.

Those files didn't seem fake. You closed the file after you were done and handed it back to him.

"Not bad. But.." You leaned infront and kept your elbows pressed on your desk "I don't hire just by the past records. I need to see what you've got. So, you will be working a day with the jobs I assign for you. Hope that's okay for you?" You looked straight at his eyes. There was something in there which didn't go entirely with this external personality, you could easily tell.

A smile appeared on his face "Sure, I'd love to"

"Great. You may leave now and wait outside for your jobs for the day"

"Thank you"

"Don't be so thankful before you even get to know what you are going to be assigned with..hmm?", you grinned at him.

"Yeah sure, ma'am", he smiled back at you and left the office. He was capable. You could use him for your work but before that you needed to test his loyalty towards you for a few days or weeks.

You had a list for the jobs which were needed to be done, such as inspecting all the shelters and stop any of the illegal activity which some people did here and there recently. People, who wanted more than they were getting, committed small crimes like stealing and attacking. You hated all that nasty crimes. For you, those were so lame. And you needed to take control over all that. Someone had to take care of the crimes. So you decided to rest your rookie, basing on that.

21/12/2023

Christmas was around the corner. Authorities had sent some special and extra supply for the people in needs. Your workers took care of it. Surprisingly, Geto Suguru did a great job in inspecting the crimes. He submitted his reports on the topic and it was well detailed than the average ones. He really seemed professional and skilled about the whole thing. But you hated giving credits to your new worker on the first day. So you just received the reports and told him to leave.

You could have given him a bit credit only if your mind wasn't messed with a lot of things. After getting the major part of asia under your control, you had to take in the islands around the continent. But it was big deal. To begin with the issue, your father didn't have much of the papers on the leader of those island. Moreover, she seemed really tough to deal with. You tried to work as a partner but she refused. You thought this would help you to prove the less co-operation skills in her to the authorities but they seemed not to care about such a small issue. Your personal team tried to spy around her area but she was really well at handling and controlling her territory. But you weren't someone to let such a small fry stop you from achieving what you deserved. So you were intrigued in making up plans on dragging her down at your office.

Your mood was just messed up as you didn't seem find something good enough. So you were frustrated. You leaned back on your chair and groaned in annoyance. "Ugh fuck this!" and put your legs on top your desk. You were working for so long and your eyes were hurting, so was your back. So you decided to take a break and walk for a bit outside of your office.

You did as you thought. You went outside of your office building and started to walk around fot bit, aimlessly. The surroundings were being taken care of yet those were a lot of damage to be fixed so early where huminity almost got doomed. Broken buildings fell around, only the roads were cleaned, to resume the journey and connections. You were looking everywhere but at the road. Your mind was fogged. Them normal people, who respected you, were waving at your was but you were definitely not in a mood to do the same. So you just smiled at them, not to mention, that was forced.

In the meantime of smiling, you looked side way and didn't notice the a few stones and parts which littered around. Your feet hit one or two of those and tripped. You were about to fall but a strong hand caught you from your behind by your waist. Your hand grabbed on that hand and you quickly looked back. It was your new rookie, Geto Suguru. He was looking down at you with his pretty fox eyes and a slight smile on his lips. Your eyes for once stopped at his. It didn't last a minute before you looked away but it felt like so long. You coughed and made yourself free from his grip.

"Be careful Ma'am, there are stones every where. If you don't be careful enough.." He leaned very slightly, "you might trip". It sounded more like a warning than an advice. What was that tone ! You were pissed.

"I don't remember giving you permission of talking to me in that tone." You fixed your cloths.

"Ah well I just spoke of your well being, sorry if that offended you." He apologized but you could still sense the mild sarcasm in his voice.

"Just go back to whatever you were doing." And you started walk away. Your mind was already fogged and this one thing made you feel even more disgusting. That new bie might give you hard times in future. You would have to take of it before hand.

24/12/2023

There came the Christmas eve. With the help of the funds and other suppliments from the head authority, two of them destroyed buildings were finally fixed. One was a mart and another one was a small apartment, which would help people to get essentials and shelter. Those opened on the day of christmas. You, being they main figure, had to be presented in all the time, looking after the things you didn't want. But again, you needed to achieve as much faith as you could. So you kept up with everything.

It was late when you finished your works and finally relaxed on your seat. After staying silent, you decided to return to the apartment you chose for yourself to live in. You kept the files a side and took your house key. Then you left your office and started to walk across the small corridor. You were about to pass a room when some noises stopped you. Almost all of your workers left, your special team too. Also the room was a little conference room, which you used to discuss plans and tasks. Noone was supposed to be in there, at least not at that hour of night.

The noises were faint. So you brought yourself closer to the closed door and put your ear on it. With a bit of notice, you could hear that those noises sounded like whimpers and a few groans. It was strangely weird for you. Was someone fucking in there? But there? Really? Inside of your organised conference room? How dared them!?

You were getting furious again. It was so improper. Did some poor people break in? A lot of weird thoughts came in your head untill both of the voices started to sound a bit too familiar. But you could not actually catch it.

You couldn't just stand and listen to such nasty noises. So you decided to barge in. The door was fortunately unlocked and you pushed it open at once. What you saw was not something you expected at all.

Infront of you, you could see two very known humans. On the ground, there sat the only female employ of your special team, whom you actually trusted a lot. She was back facing you and was on her knees, naked. Her mouth was connected to someone's hard cock, sucking on it. And that someone was none other than, your new rookie, Geto Suguru. His pants were on the floor and last few buttons of his black shirt was opened, revealing his toned abs and defined v-line. His cheeks were flushed with a faint red, hair was partially up in a messy bun as he leaned back on the table behind.

You went silent for a good while. You were looking at them and they looked back at you. Your trusted employ was quick to let everything go and tried to cover her body. You could see the hickeys on two to three places or her body. She looked ashamed. She didn't expect you to catch them like that. Whereas, the other one had a smug expression on his face. His slightly lidded eyes hinted amusement.

"Ma'am..." She tried to speak.

"What the fuck is going on here?" You calmly asked. But the disgust was clear in your tone.

"Ma'am we can...explain...please", she was nervous.

"Shut up. Not a word. If you were willing that much to suck him off, you should have gone to your apartment. Don't you have any basic sense about place and time? Huh?"

"Ma'am but...he...he told me this would be fine...and also said that you had already left the office ...and I trusted him."

"You don't even know this guy properly. That's why you don't trust just..any person. Also what made you think that it'd be okay to fuck here after I am gone?"

"Ma'am....i'm so sorry, please."

"Leave. Get your as s out of my sight right now. And never show me that slutty face of yours!"

"Ma'am-"

"Leave. Now."

She knew nothing could be stated after your stern order. So she took her cloths and somehow covered herself, then left. Then your eyes fell on Geto. He fixed his cloths already but those still looked messy. He was fixing his bun. His body was a bit sweaty from the previous intense activities. The light fell stright on his features which made him look even better. You sighed.

"I suppose you owe me an explanation.", you spoke to him.

"Extremely sorry, I thought you left and I ...well..I was feeling something. So she volunteered to help and I accepted.", his tone sounded more casual than it was supposed to.

"Wow. Keep your shits in your pants untill you are in a proper place. This isn't your little love hotels!"

"I apologize. It won't happen again."

"Apology my foot! You shithead. Stop trying to mess my special team. I warn you."

"I am not. It's just she is really attactive."

He spoke facts, you knew that. Yet your nerves burn for So me unknown reason. You couldn't just stand what he just said.

"Did I ask?", You almost yelled. But your self control game was great. So you tried to calm yourself down. "Just get out of here!" You spoke in disgust.

You came back to your apartment with a bitter mind and a tired body. You just wanted to sink in your bed. You quickly freshen up and finally laid on the bed. Your body just thanked you for the long awaited rest. Your body wanted rest but your mind was racing. What you just saw before coming back, that scene could not leave your mind. You were disgusted but somewhere in my mind, you kept recalling the vulnerable look of Geto. It was really hot. He was an attractive man and his abs, v-line..even his hard dick..you just couldn't think otherwise. Your whole body felt like burning, with some desire. It wasn't like you were a virgin. Your fucked with a few friends of yours before the meteor attack but that was long ago. After that, you barely got time to think about your sexual desire, in a obsession of power.

So, such things from a genuinely attractive guy bought out you hidden desires and your pleasure deprived self danced with it.

You didn't notice when your thighs were pressing together. Your body wanted some friction in some special places. You could feel your arousal and your hard nipples, brushing against your tshirt painfully, wanting to be pinched and pulled and played with.

A soft groan left your lips as you hands started to move towards the hem of your panties as another hand cupped your left breast over your cloth..........

...To be continued

Phew!! Finally first part is done💀 I typed a lot lol! My finger hurts now. Haha! Anyway! Please please let me if you like this or not! Commet down bellow. Reblogs are also highly appreciated 💗

Alsooo!! I might need some time to post the next part..(I have internals at college T_T) also I need some good response in this. I have put a lot of efforts in this lol! So I need results too :P otherwise i'm not posting another part anyway 🚶‍♀️

And..should I make a tag list for the next part/parts? Lemme know if you wanna be tagged. Haha

Thanks for reading tho<333

[meowjunie]

that’s right we twisted (i like it like that) (M)

preview: “where’s jeno?” you tried hard to steady your clearly wavering tone and glanced around to avoid any further awkward stares.

“you’re looking at him.” jeno snorted and knocked back his hood with a veiny hand, revealing golden blonde locks and a pair of black floppy ears.

the world seemed to stop at that moment. how in the hell did you skip over the fact that you were looking after a grown ass man?

pairing: lee jeno x fem reader

word count: 4.4k

genre: non idol! jeno, hybridverse au, pwp, crack-ish?, strangers to fucking

warnings: predator/prey dynamics, brief choking, hair pulling, submission, non-sexual and sexual degradation (jeno is mean), coercion/manipulation (jeno tells y/n she’s being overdramatic about him not prepping her & other)

smut warning: m/f, rough sex, unprotected sex (wear! protection!), improper prep, anal (f), creampie

a/n: y/n did consent to everything above! what i write does not reflect jeno in any way. this is purely fiction.

requests: hard hours are closed.

“y/n,” your landlord sighed into his palm,”if i extended your deadline for payment, i’d be showing favoritism. rent is due next month and the overdraw fee at this period is hefty.”

“give me more time — how am i supposed to find a job on such short notice?” you pleaded, vigorously refreshing on your bank account app as if money would appear instantly.

“make it happen or i have no choice but to kick you out. demand is high and time is money.” the older man shook his head apologetically, turning and hopping down the steps without another word.

“fuck this.” you sighed out, hands buried in your hair.

“fuck.”

where the hell were you gonna find quick cash in a non sketchy way?

shutting the door before your neighbors saw you mid-crisis, your thoughts spiraled.

“fucking capitalism! i can’t do indeed without a resume, can’t even fucking do uber because i’d need a car and i use the subway..” you threw your hands up in frustration.

after a few minutes of panic, your mind came to a full stop at the dreadful realization.

your last resort.

you’ve heard all types of horror stories about craigslist, and deep down you were just praying you weren’t about to become another storyteller for a fucked up job all for the sake of keeping a roof over your head.

nonetheless, you found yourself scrolling endlessly on the site through your phone, barbie bandaid clad thumb slowly landing on a job offer that seemed too good to be true. “hell no, this must be a ploy to get kidnapped or some shit. that much to watch a dog?” your eyes widened at the listing.

1 night only dog-sitter needed ASAP!! $150 hourly. (jeno is very playful and curious. *on the territorial side as a rottweiler breed* higher payment can be discussed if this will be an issue, thank you!)

you skimmed over the details for what looked like the fifteenth time, not fully trusting it. you knew you didn’t have much time and needed quick cash, but you didn’t want to take a risk.

“fuck it. i need this.” you sucked in a deep breath and cracked your knuckles, messaging the lister immediately.

if it turned out to be a deranged killer, at least you wouldn’t have to worry about rent!

the prompt ding from your phone nearly sent you flying at the quick response, spiking the anxious feeling at the pit of your stomach.

“damn, this must be urgent..” you mumbled, reading the response with budding apprehension.

65154427: thank you so much for reaching out! finding a last minute sitter has been a nightmare :(

jeno is a bit of a handful and he’s spoiled so those two things alone have cost me a lot of time when it comes to keeping long term sitters.

i hope that you’re able to take care of my puppy!

quizzically, you typed back some words of encouragement, confirming that the services in the dog sitting listing wouldn’t be a problem.

those seemed to be the exact words the owner was looking for because it was then that after a few words of approval later, you found yourself job bound in only a matter of a half hour.

so, not too shabby!

the thought of being kicked out with no way to pick yourself up haunted you for months and there was no way you were gonna let that shit manifest for you so this was a huge pick me up in your eyes.

“i love dogs and i’m good with them. what the hell could go wrong? the damn thing eats, sleeps, and shits! i’m going to be just fine.”

you blew off the brewing feeling of uncertainty in the pit of your stomach, before plopping on your sad couch.

everything will be fine!

—————

everything was not fine.

the pressure of doing a job well done was instantly heightened as soon as you found the place you were going to be staying overnight at.

a modern penthouse with gold outlining and neatly trimmed bushes stood in front of you as you entered, an even more upscaled elevator greeting you upon your entrance with a mocking ding.

who the hell were you dog sitting for? brad pitt?

“do not fuck up.” you whispered to yourself as you boarded the elevator, punching in the floor number with a shaky finger.

you were genuinely starting to become unmotivated at your ability to take care of this seemingly high end dog.

a smooth elevator ride later, you stepped out self consciously and immediately strode down the hall to look for the number of the place, not wasting time.

time is money. you repeated after your landlord internally.

the show of the city lights reflected appealingly on the top floors of the glass vicinities, your breath stilling at the admirable sight. “eat the rich but i could get used to this.”

your unconfident trudges finally came to a stop at a creme door, luxuriously crafted. with that quality? it had to be.

your stomach broiled in suspense as you rang the two way intercom, free hand gripping onto your overnight bag at what would happen next.

“this is the sitter you called for? for jeno?”

a pregnant pause had passed until you heard a small ‘mhm’ being thrown back in return on the intercom, your face dropping immediately at that.

some fucking professional.

the ear-penetrating buzzing blasted out from the intercom as a result of the door being unlocked, alerting the nosy hallow halls of the presence of a new company.

you took a deep breath to calm your nerves before pushing the automatic heavy door open with your hand and strolling into the spacious home, placing your items down on the couch.

first mistake.

“jeno!” you made kissy noises and crouched, expecting to be met with the love of a young and energetic puppy.

“you shouldn’t put your things on other people’s property, miss sitter.” a bass filled tone spoke from behind you, a shrill gasp ripping out of your throat.

“what the hell?” you grabbed onto your chest, heart damn near beating out of it’s cavity while you rose from your bent position and turned to look at the source of noise.

an attractive male stood tall before you, hands tucked into the pockets of his raised hoodie and legs adorned with what looked like balenciaga sweatpants. his sharp eyes narrowed slightly at the sight of you, causing you to curl into yourself at having dared to make eye contact with him.

oh.

“where’s jeno?” you tried hard to steady your clearly wavering tone and glanced around to avoid any further awkward stares.

“you’re looking at him.” jeno snorted and knocked back his hood with a veiny hand, revealing golden blonde locks and a pair of black floppy ears.

the world seemed to stop at that moment. how in the hell> did you skip over the fact that you were looking after a grown ass man?

“no— no i’m supposed to be looking after a puppy with attitude problems and a cute little underbelly. you.. you’re not that!” you refuted, backing away in astonishment.

jeno’s head tilted, soft ears quirking at your remark,”do you not see the ears, dumbass? i am a puppy. didn’t my owner tell you i’m a rottweiler hybrid? or like, anything about me at all?”

your eyebrows furrow in on themselves at his insolent reply, lips suddenly falling agape in realization. “damn. i should’ve known. average dog sitting doesn’t pay that much an hour.”

“i don’t care, just get your shit off of my seat.” he grumbled, waiting expectantly for you to take your bag off of the couch.

an annoyed expression etched its way onto your features, your once confused face dropping quickly at jeno’s rudeness,”listen. i don’t want any problems with you. but we’re about to have a very uncomfortable night if you don’t understand basic fucking respect, asshole.”

jeno’s jaw clenched, your heart rate picking up once more at his mirrored annoyed face. something was 10x more terrifying about his own annoyance than yours.

the taller male slowly made his way over to your small stature until he was mere centimeters apart from being pressed against you,“if i want your stuff off of mine, it comes the fuck off. if i tell you to jump, you ask how fucking high. no questions asked.”

“you’re not listening. you don’t understand how this works—“

knocking you back a few steps with a swift nudge of his chest, his ears stood predatorily. “i understand that you don’t know how things work in my house. catch up.”

you now understood why you were being paid a fortune to look after this horrifying brat.

you rolled your eyes and bumped past him to take your bag off of the couch, his stiffened body instantly relaxing and the uninviting aura around him shifting into one of tranquility.

“so, it looks like the girl has a brain in that thing on her neck.”

you were starting to regret coming over in thin sweat shorts and a cropped long sleeve, feeling embarrassed as you felt your arousal leak through your pants.

he was insulting you and you were getting horny.

jeno stared you down for what seemed like an eternity before snorting and turning to leave up the steps in disinterest, not bothering to look at you,”guest room is up and second to last door on your right, bathroom is under renovation so if you wanna piss or shower you’re stuck with me, princess.”

this was a problem.

you weren’t about to tiptoe around this asshole all night! but you had to make the best of it. after all, this was your ticket to keeping a roof over your head.

sighing dramatically you plopped onto the floor, the spacious couch staring at you jeeringly while your ass began to hurt within seconds of sitting on the hardwood.

dickhead wouldn’t even let you sit.

—————

the clock was nearing eleven when your stomach started to fuss angrily. you already changed into your pajamas and spent hours tapping away on your socials. your last meal was hours before you stepped in the building so you were bound to be starving by then.

unsure what exactly you could touch without getting your head knocked off your shoulders, you just decided to take a chance.

second mistake.

you lightly toed your way into the kitchen and over to the grand fridge, opening it as quietly as possible to not stir the beast in his cave.

“what to eat.” you muttered to yourself, scanning the contents and deciding on making noodles with the ingredients in the full fridge.

the house was filled with a daunting silence as you began preparing the meal for one. you felt like prey in the middle of a forest trying to refeed before the scary predator came and snatched you up.

“hey, you. ugly girl. the fuck are you wearing? you’re barely covered up.” jeno’s daunting voice called out from over the counter.

damn it. you nearly seethed.

“it’s y/n, fucking dork.”

“okay, y/n. the fuck are you wearing?” jeno asked again, nose scrunched and top lip curled in aggravation.

“i was fixing to watch a dog, not babysit a demonic hybrid. and whatever i choose to wear doesn’t have anything to do with you.” you turned back to your food, giving it a good stir before popping open the stainless steel dishwasher next to you.

he watched wolfishly as you bent over without a care in the world to grab a dish and scoffed,”any more and those pair of panties you call shorts are splitting in half. you’re provoking me.”

“i don’t know what you’re into, perv, but the way you’re describing me with so much fire is giving me the impression that you like it. go fuss about the ass you’ll never have somewhere else.” you waved your free hand at him, shooing him away while leveling yourself back up and placing the bowl onto the counter.

“whore.” jeno stalked off towards a different part of the spacious house.

who knew where he’d pop out from next?

—————

midnight quickly approached and your stomach was full, your mood shooting up after that delicious bowl of instant noodles. you’d have to buy those when you got back to your apartment.

jeno hadn’t made an appearance since his harassment earlier and you were thankful, not up to playing his bullshit at this time.

all you had to do was find your room and hope that there would be no more challenges.

how could you fuck that up?

after cleaning up after yourself and grabbing your bag, you made your way up the steep steps and toed down the hall to the provided room.

the large hallway was pitchblack and the only lights guiding you down safely were the ones flashing from under what you assumed was jeno’s room.

getting to your room, you tied your hair back and out of your face and placed your things down by the door. daringly deciding to check up on him, you bounced lightly on the balls of your feet to his door.

suddenly, the world stilled as you mistook one step on the hardwood, a groaning creek shouting out a call from the floorboard alerting jeno and anyone if they were in proximity.

shit!

bolting down the steps, you nearly tumbled down the last few but regained your composure and ran straight for the other side of the house.

you weren’t sure where you were going in the dark but now it dawned on you that the safest place would have been the guest room.

jeno’s footsteps were loud and fast, chasing after you as if he were in the middle of a hunt. “stupid girl. you know i told you to fuck off.”

trying to hold in your pants as you ducked down under what seemed to be a dinner table, your heart beat uncontrollably in your chest.

“i can hear your breaths. can practically smell your fear too.” he grits, pacing around the table.

you just prayed his vision wasn’t good in the dark. it was a roll the dice chance after all, being that he was a hybrid with the characteristics of the most brutal hunting breed there was.

waves of silence washed over the both of you and jeno’s steps couldn’t be heard anymore, neither could your once shaky breaths.

this is the end. you thought. he’s going to maul me.

“this is what you wanted right?” you suddenly heard the low voice in your ear, the hair on your neck standing in surprise.

before you could duck and run, jeno grabbed you by your neck, large hand closing easily around your delicate throat.

“cant— i-i can’t fucking breathe!” you wheezed out, thrashing in the death grip.

“it’s what you asked for, y/n. say it.” you couldn’t make his face out in the pitch blackness but you swore you could see the flash of his canines curved into a taunting grin.

he didn’t wait for a response before crawling out from under the table, your neck still held in place by his unforgiving hold.

puffing out what felt like your last breaths as your kicks grew weaker, jeno finally let go of you, your head dropping onto the cold floor roughly.

hacking and wheezing, you wondered if the money was even worth it now. this hybrid was hell sent.

jeno slicked your hair back with his hand while you hiccuped,”there there.”

“you fu— ow! jeno stop!” you scream out, nails digging into his forearm as he hoists you up into a sitting position by your bun.

“poor you. you’re not too sure how to play this game, am i right?”

“freak! let me go!” your nails dug deeper into his arm, causing him to rip his hand away from your hair and hiss in pain.

“fucking bitch!”

you took this opening to shoot up and lunge across the room, shooting up the steps.

with jeno’s door wide open you could see your room perfectly and it was close within your reach.

so close.

a hand shot out and gripped your wrist, holding you in place, causing you to cry out.

how the hell was he so fast?

“you’re not innocent. if only you could see yourself right now.” jeno laughed.

you must’ve been so caught up in the chase you weren’t aware of the growing patch of arousal staining the entire front of your pajama shorts.

“its— ”

jeno lifted a finger to your lips, shushing you.

“i know all about you. do you like the chase, y/n? do you like it when i’m this rough with you?” his eyes creased with entertainment at your desperate expression.

the finger to your lips dropped as you opened your mouth and he was backing away.

“your call. i won’t show any mercy once you’re in though.”

your mouth definitely played against your brain at that moment,”wait! wait. how are we gonna do this?”

jeno’s head tilted, perked ears dropping,”do what? i thought we were playing a game.”

he’s fucking playing me. you thought outraged.

it wasn’t exactly your gameplan to get your back beat in by this hot puppy hybrid, but now that you were in, there was no way in hell you were backing out.

“i want you to— to… fuck me.” you looked to the side, words falling off your tongue timidly.

“okay.” jeno shrugged casually.

“okay?” your jaw nearly fell to the floor.

after all that?

“do i have to come get you, or are you gonna get over here?” he stuck his hand out, waiting impatiently for you to grab a hold of it.

once you grabbed the large palm, he tugged you into his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

you stared in awe at the spacious quarters, letting out a surprised huff at the eager shove jeno gave you towards his bed.

“should we really—”

jeno laughed amused,”what happened to ‘oh my god! please fuck me jeno!’”

your nose scrunched in embarrassment as you took the hint and began sliding your pajama pants down,”don’t look.”

“such a baby, fine i won’t look.”

the taller male turned and slid out of his sweatshirt easily, tugging his shirt off after and walking over to lock his door. “can i turn around now, baby”

you sat on the bed nervously, playing with a loose thread on the duvet and curling your toes. you weren’t sure if this was such a good idea now that you were in his room, but you definitely wanted this.

“yeah, go ahead.”

turning almost too eagerly, jeno took a moment to scan what he was working with before silently making his way over to the bed and crashing his lips against yours needily.

“mmf— jeno!” you froze in place, unaware of what set him off as he attacked your neck next.

“don’t talk.” he murmured out authoritatively, taking a hold of your clenched thighs and lifting you with ease. he dropped you on the middle of the bed restlessly and was quick to slide out of his sweatpants, your eyes widening with every passing second.

“are you fucking crazy? where’s that thing even going?” you scrambled up into a seated position, legs closing together.

“ugh, y/n stop stalling. it’ll fit just fine.” jeno pried your legs open.

“you’re not even gonna prep or anything?” you tried, backed against the headboard at this point.

he settled in between your legs, his hand dragging his leaking tip between your salivating folds,”don’t be such a fucking baby. i know you can take it, y/n. just loosen up.“

a part of you felt scared that you’ve never taken anyone this big before but his endless pressing seemed to get more firm by the minute.

“okay.. please go slow, jeno. i’m being serious.”

jeno scoot up wordlessly, running your slick down the base of his hardened cock and dipping in slowly.

your face twisted in pain, fingers grabbing the sheets tightly. “it hurts— jeno it hurts!”

jeno’s jaw fell slack, hips drawing forward as if there were any room left. “shh, baby. you’re opening up for me so well.”

involuntarily clenching, your entrance slightly burned at the sudden intrusion. jeno bottomed out before lifting a hand to pick the stray strands off of your sweat beaded forehead, lips pulled back into a devilish grin.

your heart began to race once you met his clouded gaze, unsure if that was a good sign,”jen—“

he pistoned forward, heavy length pile driving into you with no end and placed his hands on top of yours, forcing you down and pliant.

“slow, you idiot! i said slow!” you cried, back smashing against the headboard with every thrust. by the entranced look of pleasure on his face, you realized there was no getting through to jeno as he rut into you.

“so fucking tight. can’t believe you didn’t even ask for a condom. little whore wants me to breed her dumb pussy.”

quickly, your body began to take calm to jeno as one particular thrust had you pitifully moaning. “just like that.” you hummed, another shameless moan pouring out in suit regardless of his realization.

“y/n, i’m gonna turn you over.” jeno said lowly, hips slowing down to switch your position.

within a matter of seconds, you quickly found yourself face down into the sheets that reeked of jeno’s scent and your ass up.

jeno’s fingers gripped your waist bruisingly as he picked up, satisfied groans ripping out of his throat.

your face squished into the mattress with every thrust, annoying you to no ends but nonetheless drawing aroused noises out of you at your usage.

squeezing around him as well as you could, jeno’s head fell back and his hips gained momentum. you gasped as you felt his hand leave your hip and onto the back of your head, stuffing it into the bed.

“what are you doing!” you called out, words muffled by the duvet.

you could hear the preen in jeno’s taunting tone,”fuck you here? is that what you said?”

you laid confusedly before you felt him pull out all at once and tap his tip teasingly against your rim.

before you could protest, jeno was sliding into your gaping entrance again and thrusting with vigor, almost as if he wanted to silence you.

his actions were incalculable at this point, forcing you to believe he was just saying things to get you to react.

soon enough, his movements grew sloppy and breath got heavier, signaling to you that he was close until his creamed cock was sliding out and being pried into your rim.

your hips shot up at the intrusion, painful shouts eaten up by the mattress.

i’m going to kill him. you thought.

an animalistic growl ripped its way out of his throat as your hole slowly made way for his throbbing length,“fuck, i’m never pulling out. beg all you want. this hole belongs to me.”

your teeth grit down into themselves as your thighs tensed, you had lost all energy to try and push him off leaving you vulnerable to his thrusts.

jeno paused for a second, stilling inside of you. with the hand he used to push your head down, he was now using it to pull your head up, fingers threaded in your hair near the scalp.

ignoring your cries of pain, jeno leaned in and pressed his spit-licked lips to your ear, your body collapsing from his weight against your own,”was this the ass i’d never have? hm, y/n?” he whispered mockingly.

jeno snuck his free hand underneath you, using two fingers to pry open your drenched folds and using another to rub quick circles onto your clit.

small whines filled the room as he worked his hips into your hole, finger continuing to swipe at your quivering core.

“fuck, that’s it, baby. i knew you could take me here too. feels so fucking good.” he huffed out.

a muffled knock came at the door just then, motivating jeno to snap his hips into your ass and curl up the fingers dragging against your aching clit.

your head snapped over to the door, adrenaline rushing through your system as well as guttural moans spilling out once his brutal pace drove untimely squirts out of you.

your jaw hung slack as your orgasm hit you a pulse later, legs jolting up.

“jeno!”

“jeno, unlock the door! what are you doing in there!” the doorknob jiggled under pressure, frightening you into clenching madly.

“pull out, dumbass! it’s your owner!” you hissed, batting his hand out of your hair as you regained your senses.

“shut up, y/n, i’m gonna cum.” he groaned out throatily, digging his nose into your neck as his hips slowed. you felt his teeth graze the sensitive skin in the crease of your neck.

sighing irritatedly as he released inside of you, you kicked your legs out from under him,”we’re about to be in so much trouble, get the hell off!” you complained, flinching as the knocking on the door got louder.

“get under the covers and pretend you’re asleep.” jeno lazily muttered after rolling off of you and leisurely redressing.

he tossed your clothes at you to hide with you as he made his way to the door and shut the tv off, swinging the door open with annoyance.

“the sitter fell asleep while we were watching a movie, you didn’t have to do that. what are you doing home so early?” you heard jeno mutter.

your eyes were shut delicately, breathing lightly as silence fell over the room. you assumed you were being spectated.

“i got anxious. i know how you get around sitters and i insisted i leave early.” the unfamiliar voice sighed out. “when she wakes up tomorrow, you can tell her i’ve already paid her for the full night.”

“will do. anything else before i go back?” jeno asked impatiently.

“yes actually, there is. you forgot to pick up the girl’s underwear you little shit.”

freezing in his spot, jeno didn’t bother turning to see if it was true or not. “it was an accident.” he whined, shocking you at the soft sound. you were convinced he was incapable of anything remotely pleasant.

“we’ll talk about this in the morning. stay the hell away from the poor girl tonight. get downstairs, go.”

as if you could feel jeno’s icy glare shot towards you, your body tensed until all you heard was the door click shut and footsteps furthering down the hall.

you were positive you’d be quite familiar with this home soon enough. after all, you were good with dogs.

©meowjunie | do not copy to other websites or plagiarize

[amuhav]

Hope y'all had a FANTASTIC Christmas 💖

and wishing you all a Happy New Year (+ personal update lol)

It may seem like something so small to get emotional over, but Christmas Eve, I burst into tears at having something ~resembling~ a living room for Christmas, AND seeing my desk space finally all set up and running. It has been a heck of a rough time these last 17 months since we moved into our new place, not to mention the 2 rough af years leading up to it. I included some images below from throughout for anyone curious (or just wants to see my cat in a t-shirt 😻), but big ol' venting rant under the read more, sorry if you open it but you've been warned LMAO.

We moved here in August 2022, and these pics really are only a small fraction of everything we've had to deal with. From plumbing leaks and years' worth of water damage, to mould-filled walls and a condemned boiler. TWO GAS LEAKS. One dangerously malfunctioning stove. The fear of potentially dry rot-infested joists. From ripping up and re-laying multiple floors (with more to still do...), to ripping out a fireplace and rebuilding entire walls. Having no bathroom to call our own and having to share my mother-in-law's tiny annexe en suite for 5 months. Having to ask permission to have a shower. Having no bedroom for 4 months and having to squish three of us into my daughter's room—the confinement of which stressed out my cat, Mina, so much that she overgroomed herself to baldness and required a shirt and then a babygro (even if she looked beautiful in them LMAO). THE FLEAS. My god the fucking fleas the previous owners left here.....

From a family of starlings deciding to nest in our eaves and wake us up ~every morning~ with the dawn chorus, to finding (no pics, I promise!) FIVE mummified rats in the attic and needing the whole thing ripped out, sterilised, re-insulated and re-boarded, two pigeon skeletons behind the fireplace (complete with a moth invasion that had been feasting on them 💀 nature, man... so fucky). Needing to get a whole-ass loft hatch installed in our bedroom ceiling because mice were getting in and we had no access to deal with them. R A T S. RATSSSSSSS. *shudder*

So many IKEA furniture building sessions lmao. 10 new doors installed throughout the entire house (with 2 more still to go). New boiler, new water tank, new radiators. New carpets fitted throughout upstairs. Every single room repainted. Cutting and fitting skirting boards and coving ourselves, the latter during a bad bout of medicine-induced low blood pressure, 0/10 do not recommend lest you want to almost pass out standing on a ladder over a flight of stairs... 💀 Honestly the number of things that could have literally killed me this year. Like the incorrectly wired socket that the live wire fell out a centimetre away from my finger........ EVERY SINGLE job we've done to fix or improve this place has been hindered and tainted by the incompetence and cost-and-corner-cutting of the previous owner, taking way longer and costing way more than it should, and/or literally endangering us all. Pretty much everything above was caused by them. Eg. The leak in the bathroom coming VISIBLY through the living room ceiling that they left unfixed for 4+ YEARS MINIMUM that they PROMISED us they'd fixed 🙃🙃🙃

And through this all, we've had no living room or really any downtime space, apart from my husband who has had his office. I've had to move my "desk" (an IKEA table that just about fit my PC+Monitor that bruised my knees to sit at) around like playing musical rooms, until our bedroom was ready, then me and my daughter "relaxed" in there for the last 9 months. The only TV we've had was "shared" with my mother-in-law in the kitchen (aka it's all hers lol).

A lot of this is complaining about first-world problems, I know, I know. We have a roof over our head and are surviving a cost of living crisis that is destroying the lives of many others. But tbh, the last 2+ years of my life have ~rewired my brain~ entirely because I have been in a permanent state of stress combined with an unrelenting limbo. Just... existing. Seeing the light at the end was impossible at times just from the sheer overwhelming amount needed to be done. We are still not finished. But having a living room, unfinished as it currently is, finally feels like that turning point. Having a SOFA HOLY SHIT. Having a space for me and my daughter and my cat to properly ~unwind~ each day. Just being able to have a Christmas tree and presents under it, even if it's not the full-size one we were meant to have, it's still not the tiny 2-foot one stuffed into the kitchen corner we had last year. Mina finally getting free roam of the place the last few days has lifted my soul so much, she's so happy just getting to sit with us and chill.

Bonus; in the new year, I'm finally getting my heart condition fixed permanently, AND then should be starting medication for ADHD.

So yeah. Here's to a turning point, a New Year's start that feels, for the first time in a long time, like a hopeful one. And I really, really hope that translates to more time here going forward, because what little I have been able to do has kept me sane. It'll likely still be spotty for a while, there's still so much to do, but I'm on track now lol.

Now, for anyone that got this far, a bonus happy kitty pic :3

[pillow-anime-talk]

Hii for the prompt could you do 42 nsfw with leonardo luna from blue lock with she/her reader (maybe in a fwb situation) but whatever you write im sure it will be amazing💖

# tags: scenario; friends with benefits; roommates!au; study!au; kinda romance; smut; aged-down (20 y/o); nsfw

warnings: mention of sex and sexual acitivities, high stamina, no foreplay, angry sex, a bit of fingering yourself, hair pulling, hickeys and bites, mention of crying

includes: female reader ft. leonardo luna {blue lock}

author’s note: ooo okay, my first bl request, very nice! 

42. “… You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.”

The blueberry scent of the candle was in the air, and your favorite study playlist was playing in the background. The summer semester was slowly coming to an end and you had one last exam to write. Concentrated on drawing and highlighting important information on the book, you almost jumped and spilled peppermint tea on your notebook, swore under your breath. In each device, the sound of the bell and the beating of the fist on the wooden exit door spreads. Slowly you made your way towards the noise and when you saw your roommate on the other side you just rolled your eyes.

“… What happened this time? And why didn’t you remember the keys?” You opened the fair-haired man’s door wider, and he cursed only under his breath, temporarily walking towards the bathroom. “It’s nice to see you again too, Leo.” You locked the door and then you went back to your bedroom.

While you were studying, you heard dripping water all the time, and a few swear words, as well as a sound informing you that your friend had dropped something on the shower tray. You heard the sound of a hair dryer, water running in the sink and brushing teeth, and (at the end) the slam of a door as the twenty-year-old completed his evening routine. After a while, the door to the room opened, and Leonardo appeared on the threshold.

“We lost.” He grumbled sat down on your made-up bed and you sighed a little.

“I’m sorry about this?” You replied uncertainly, still focusing on your colorful notebooks. You definitely didn’t know anything about sports and you definitely didn’t know how to make other people feel better in crisis situations. “You won’t always win everything.” You replied and this time you looked at the young man, smiling slightly. “You always give your best, right? So I guess it’s okay.” His gaze was a bit tender, but also somewhat lustful.

Football was more than just a sporting hobby for your male friend; it was his biggest passion, his reason to live, his way of life, his future and his job. Just as for you the most important thing now was studying and taking care of your future through learning, so for your friend it was football, the field and the team.

You turned your head lighlty to the right as Leonardo began to touching the hem of his boxers and looked around the white room. You knew exactly where this was all leading up to. You’ve known him since the beginning of your studies, since you both started being roommates; his parents bought a two-room apartment in the city center and to relieve their costs a bit, they decided to rent one room. When looking for a place to study, Leonardo’s parents’ offer turned out to be the most favorable in terms of price and location. When you first met you were both single with no desire to start a relationship; you focused on college, he on sports. So you two entered into a relation focusing on sex. Thanks to this you knew when your roommate was feeling emotional, stressed, nervous and sad.

“… You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.” You laughed as you put down your pen and undid the first button of your sleep shirt. “Do you want something? Just say it, Leo.”

Without a word, the young man got up from his seat and walked over to you. His hands cupped your face in a confident way, and his lips landed on yours. The kiss was wet, a bit intrusive, fast, but at the same time full of emotions – especially the negative ones. He expressed nervousness, a desire to dominate, desperation, anger. You allowed the man to touch your body and face, and without a word you allowed him to move your body from the comfortable chair to the equally comfortable mattress on big bed.

Leonardo needed only a few moments to take off his loose boxers and then a few more seconds to take off your cute set of pajamas with penguins and polar bears. For a moment, he thought about commenting on your outfit, but instead, he just reached into the nearest cupboard for a pack of condoms. His cock was hard and dripping with the first juices, and you just touched your wet pussy, involuntarily inserting two fingers into her. A quick fingering relaxed your muscles and mind, adding some spice to the image of your naked body. The young footballer’s mind was focused on you.

Without a word, you spread your lower lips a bit more, allowing the man to enter your pussy in one smooth move. Lubricant wasn’t needed, you were wet enough.

Your sex has never been vanilla – quite the opposite. Leonardo didn’t look and wasn’t a romantic for whom positive emotions, plans for the future, candlelit dinners or charming kisses mixed with tender words mattered. The movements of his hips were hard, chaotic, and always touched the back wall of your uterus. Whenever you fucked you got the best orgasms and that was enough for you; you didn’t have to get flowers or kisses. Good sex made up for it all.

During the first hickey of the evening, you firmly grabbed the man by his still slightly damp blond hair. Your fingers tangled in the soft strands, and your neck was marked with more and more maroon and pink marks. The shivers on your body indicated the first spasms of pleasure, and the footballer entered your body with more and more force, clasping his hands tightly on your buttocks, hips or arms. Years of training, years of endurance training on the pitch, years of running after a black-white ball resulted in the possibility of having sex for long minutes, quarters of an hour and even hours.

Your sweaty forehead touched Leonardo’s equally sweaty neck; you only clenched your teeth tighter on his muscular nape and your fingernails on his athletic back. You felt pleasure spreading through your body, you felt amazing moisture between your legs, and your face was decorated with transparent tears.

“… It’s not over yet, Y/N.” He whispered into your ear, biting your earlobe lightly, and you nodded. Studying for exams could definitely wait.

[kassymalone]

A Little Rant about Fun

Remember fun?

Remember when you could do things just because they were fun?

It keeps coming to mind recently, and it's starting to drive me nuts.

I've always done things with my hands - I used to do art before uni destroyed my love and confidence, I write things, I cross stitch, I make models, and I do these things because I enjoy them. Unfortunately I've come to hate talking to people about my hobbies because the almost always have the same response - 'what do you do with that?'

Do I sell on Etsy? No I fucking don't, this pattern took me 15 hours to finish, do you know how much I would have to charge for it?

Do I do freelance writing? No I fucking don't, why would I want a second soul-crushing job on top of my first soul-crushing job?

Why don't I actually get published instead of wasting my time with fanfiction so I can actually make some money off it? WHY DON'T YOU DO IT IF ITS SO FUCKING EASY

I've been thinking of making a quilt recently, with patches of all my favourite things, but I don't want to talk to anyone about it because I can already hear them asking 'and what are you going to do with it? Is this your practice one before you sell them? No, don't do it that way, that's the wrong way, no-one will like it!'

(Don't get me started on the 'you're doing it wrong' crowd, gatekeepers are a different rant.)

JUST LET ME DO THINGS. NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO MAKE MONEY. I know we're in a cost of living crisis right now, but I've been hearing this shit since I was a teenager, twenty fucking years ago! I still remember being talked out of singing lessons when I had a little extra money because 'what would I do with it?' Well fuck, my fat ass was never going to be the next Adele, but maybe I could have just had fun doing something I enjoy, but better?!

ON A RELATED NOTE!

You know what disproportionately annoys me? When people call the Nintendo Switch a 'toy' as if it's a bad thing. Like... yes? It's a toy? I play games on it?

'But the frame rate!', 'But the graphics!', 'But it can't run XX game!' WHO FUCKING CARES.

Yes, the xbox and playstation can connect to netflix and play blue rays and cook you dinner and raise your children, but they also cost a months rent and have all these bells and whistles to distract you from the fact that they JUST FUCKING TOYS. There's nothing either of them can do that I can't do on my PC, better and cheaper, and not have to turn on five different peripherals to make it work.

'But 4K!', 'But you can see the character follicles in this new game!', 'But the horses testicles react to the weather!'

Are you not having fun? Are you not enjoying playing your game? Never once have I been in the middle of a game and thought 'I'd be enjoying this more if it had more pixels.' I'm not even against other consoles, use whatever you prefer - if you like modern real-to life graphics then more power to you, but the amount of people who act like it actually matters somehow is concerning...

Yes, the switch hardware is behind what the xbox and playstation can do... but its a toy. Nintendo has never forgotten that it makes toys, and that's why I like it. It sits on my table, connects to my other monitor. I listen to long form youtube videos while I play TOTK. If I'm feeling sassy, I play it handheld.

My niece has one. We play Pokémon together and I let her win battles because the point is to be fun.

WHICH BRINGS ME BACK TO MY POINT!

FUCK the grindset 'but how can I monetise every possible second?' bullshit, FUCK the 'taking this thing that should be fun way too seriously' bullshit.

LET PEOPLE DO THINGS JUST BECUASE THEY'RE FUN.

LET THINGS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUN BE FUN.

And now I've used the word 'fun' so much it's lost all meaning.

Much like fun itself.

[dark-side-blog3]

I need to form a codependent relationship right now or I’m going to die

I just want someone to obsess over and who’ll be equally possessive of me. I want to change my hobbies, my style, my accent, and even lie about my childhood to bond with someone, who orchestrates financial crisis and health problems to happen to me so they can be my sole source of comfort, as everyone else I talk to slowly pulls away.

I want to bug their phone and check their messages to ascertain their desires so I can be a good, caring partner who anticipates their every whim and gives them everything they could ever desire, at the low cost of needing their constant attention and admiration. I need them to feel empty without me.

I want them to fuck with my paranoia and anxiety until I’m afraid to leave the house without them.

I want us to be so toxic we literally destroy the other persons ability to function in society, AND be so obsessed with each other that we can’t be bothered to care about the manipulation and poisoning we know the other is doing so long as neither of us is cheating.