#covid safer practices

[laurenmitchellwrites]

A heap of my description vanished on the Redbubble preview, so I wanted to put it somewhere safe.

COVID is not over. But neither is comedy.

The Melbourne International Comedy Festival (MICF) is one of the highlights of my year. Before COVID, and Melbourne's shutdown, I would go almost every night after work and see dozens of shows. When COVID came onto the scene in 2020, I was one of the people who asked MICF if we would be able to opt to give the costs of our tickets to the artists instead of receiving refunds.

I ventured out between lockdowns when it was held in a much more subdued fashion to see some of my die-hard favourites. In 2023, I planned my schedule to ensure plenty of time outside between shows, away from crowds, and masked at every show. I was cautious as hell, as were friends who I attended with, and yet I had an absolute blast—and I didn't get sick.

COVID is not over. But neither is comedy. I designed this work to showcase that feeling of joy I still get from attending live comedy, while also remaining mindful of the risks, in hopes that other people will enjoy this design as well.

I purchased the original stock art of the laughing people from iStock (credit: jesadaphorn) and added the masks myself in Photoshop, also recolouring some of the people to reflect the diversity in MICF performers and audiences.

I don't know what, if any, profit I will make from this, but I will donate 10% of any profit I earn to Oxfam, selected due to its ties to MICF and its COVID-19 response.

Thank you for reading and for considering this design. It came from the heart.

[childofthewolvess]

My experience with spiritual psychosis as a practicing pagan and how to recognize the signs of a psychotic episode in contemporary witchcraft practices.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of S/H, schizophrenic behaviors, psychosis, religious manipulation.

Buckle up, because this is going to be one hell of a ride.

A DEFINITION OF SPIRITUAL PSYCHOSIS - "Religious-spiritual crises include distress associated with the weakening or loss of faith, turbulent conversions, and affective states associated with negative spirituality. The differential diagnosis in regard to psychosis is often challenging... Although the crisis and psychosis groups scored similarly on perplexity, self-disorder, depression, and anxiety, the disturbance of social contact and cognition was observed only in psychosis" (Kállai & Kéri, 2020: Religious-spiritual crisis or psychosis? The impact of basic symptoms in the differentiation of prepsychotic states).

To summarize the above definition, Kállai & Kéri (2020) differentiated spiritual crisis with spiritual psychosis through one particular symptom: social withdrawal and disturbance of cognitive functions. If you Google the word "spiritual psychosis", you'll get a wealth of articles and websites cautioning on symptoms that aren't entirely accurate to spiritual psychosis. It is important to consider that spirituality, especially witchcraft and paganism, have been demonized since Christianization and it is integral to recognize that these beliefs still exist today. This heavily impacts spiritual psychosis and its diagnosis, especially within pagan communities, as there are still individuals who want to convince others that if they are a pagan, they must be ""clinically insane"" (I say this, as someone federally disabled from clinical OCD, PTSD, and ASD). It is super important to realize that a lot of people will point the fingers at pagans very quickly to say "HEY! That person is insane because they are talking to a god!" when the same person goes back home to pray every night to God and ask them for forgiveness. This isn't meant as an attack on Christians, but rather to point out the hypocrisy that can occur when this topic arises in religious spaces.

I say this, as a medicated, healthy, and healing individual who practices deity worship, work, tarot, astrology, and spirit work! Not all paganism is "spiritual psychosis", but there are definitely facets and wings of spirituality/neopaganism (in particular) that can lead right down the path of the red pill and psychosis to the right-wing ideology (looking at you, Grimm).

To begin my story: my spiritual psychosis took place pre-COVID, around 2017-2018 timeframe.

I also want to note that this is my experience; this experience does not define everyone who has experienced spiritual psychosis, nor meant as a diagnostic tool. I am simply here to share my story and hopefully spread awareness in the pagan community to help others recognize the signs of potential psychosis and ultimately make our community safer, more inviting, and more healthy.

I also want to make this ABUNDANTLY CLEAR: you do not have to have preexisting mental/emotional disabilities to experience spiritual psychosis.

Anyone can experience spiritual psychosis, and that's what makes it so incredibly dangerous! The above belief is what ultimately led to my downfall and unfortunate experience with psychosis, almost causing to my own death. I am not an individual with any preexisting mood disorders; I do not experience mania symptoms or psychotic symptoms, and never have, outside of this experience. When I was going through spiritual psychosis, I told myself that "this must be real, because I don't have BPD or mania or schizophrenia!" In my head, I was "happy and healthy", and I continuously told myself that because I was happy, it couldn't have been psychosis. It's also important to mention that I was 15-16 years old when I experienced this, so I was already within a vulnerable population to religious manipulation due to being in a rough mental state and exploring who I was as a teenager.

Please do not try to diagnose me in the comments. I am monitored and medicated by a physician, psychiatrist, and therapist, and have been evaluated again and again for mood disorders since this experience. I have consistently, multiple times, failed the diagnostic measures for disorders consisting of psychotic episodes, mania, or bipolar-type disabilities. Trying to diagnose someone actively experiencing spiritual psychosis and slapping a label on them will only make the problem worse, I PROMISE. Same goes for individuals in recovery from psychosis.

On a similar note, if a loved one is going through spiritual psychosis, and needs help, simply telling them that it's "not real" or that they're in psychosis will probably not work; it didn't work on me, at least. What I needed was medical intervention, and this problem marinated in my head for over a year because of negligence and ignorance to the severity of my state. Telling someone with spiritual psychosis that they have spiritual psychosis WILL NOT WORK, I promise. Reach out to their doctor, a hotline, or a professional in a medical field if you suspect a friend or loved one is in a psychotic episode. Please, for me—don't try to play the savior, because they might think they are the savior.

That being said, I also will say that OCD can share a lot of similarities with BPD, and I've talked to a ton of fellow OCD-ers that have had spiritual psychosis experiences.

I will also mention that certain chemicals or medications can influence the onset of spiritual psychosis! At this time, I was struggling through a lot of menstrual issues, and was placed on a oral birth control (progesterone) that was notorious for causing delusion, with users of the hormone reporting that "they literally felt like they were going insane". I snapped out of my spiritual psychosis the second I went off the medication. This is not to blame pharmaceuticals or scream out to the void that medicine is bad (I am happily medicated and monitored by a doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist now!) but to emphasize that outside influences can, and will, encourage the onset of spiritual psychosis.

Here is a list of some of the events, symptoms (unique to me), and beliefs I held during my spiritual psychosis. I've bolded critical drivers of my episode.

I was a "Christian witch" at this time, and believed that I was a lightworker sent by God among a group of 20 or so individuals to "heal" others

I was socially withdrawn, without any true friends. I had one online friend at the time, who was also going through spiritual psychosis with me, making this problem much worse.

I was constantly compulsion-checking (OCD) for signs such as angel numbers, words, messages, to the point where I could not concentrate because of the desparate need for reassurance

I was obsessed with the concept of talking to and doing spellwork on real people in the astral to "heal them", and it gave me a sense that I was not alone; this was not consensual to these people, who I did know in real life, and I was convinced that was okay, because...

I believed in twin flame ideology, which I have consistently not only seen mentioned from other survivors of spiritual psychosis, but often encourages toxic relationships, abuse, and stalking.

I thought I was an earth angel who had a past life as an angel. This included delusions so severe that I thought I could "feel my wings" and that I "wasn't meant to be on earth" (this can slip so quickly into su*cidal ideation, and it did for me)

I created my own world in my head that I would meditate to enter, essentially, where I had an entire family of spirits taking care of me, including my "future kids" (I had internalized homophobia)

I could not sleep, function, and barely could eat. This is a defining, tell-tale sign of any form of psychosis: I was so obsessed with meditating and entering the astral realm, that I was completely dissociated from the real world. In a sense, I was not existing in the physical world, at all.

I could hear and see "spirits" who would tell me uncomfortable things. They would appear as voices in my head that I didn't want there, but believed I had to let be there if I wanted to continue on my path as a healer.

I had gone from a state of depression so badly that I was unable to function, to "happy and healthy" in my psychotic mania during this. If you find yourself quickly turning from a down to an up, be aware.

I thought I was pregnant with a spirit unconsensually. This one I will say with certainty (and love): guys, please, if you think you have a spirit child and you are the equivalent to the modern-day Virgin Mary, please walk yourself into the nearest ER.

I was obsessed with conservative, right-wing beliefs to the point where it was the only media I consumed. This was also in-part because I grew up on military bases, but most definitely worsened during my psychosis.

I believed I was more important than others to God, my life had more value.

I could go on, but I think these bullets sum up my experience pretty well.

How I recovered and realized my spiritual psychosis episode, and what that looked like.

This is where it can get extremely dangerous! I was lucky enough to have my driving factor as a medication, but that was not the sole influence.

I kid you not: I woke up one morning after switching meds, realized that it was literally all in my head, and entered the worst depressive episode I've ever had in my life, to this day. I was unable to sleep from paranoia, struggled eating, would refuse to talk to my parents, and was terrified of anything to even remotely do with religion. It got to the point where I was, quite literally, on my death bed. The only thing that saved me was going into therapy and establishing connections, getting diagnosed with OCD, and ultimately, aging and maturing.

The story of my recovery is a much, much longer road with unrelated events, so I won't go into that. But I will emphasize that this event almost caused me my life on a few occasions, and led to a multi-year journey to reexplore spirituality, morality, and religion. It took me years upon years to recover, and I believe that I did the right thing: if you ever have spiritual psychosis, take a step back for awhile and evaluate first what caused the psychosis, what your symptoms were, and identify your coping strategies and networks to avoid the situation reoccurring in the future.

Spiritual psychosis is dangerous, it's scary, and it's not talked enough in pagan communities. I think my end-all advice for this post would be just that above: be aware, be educated, and be monitored by a medical team. If you are ever hearing things you don't want to hear, thinking your gods are upset at you (they're not, I promise), experiencing mania or depressive symptoms, please please please speak to a medical professional or something you love and trust.

Today, I am an eclectic Hellenic/Norse pagan with spirit guides and gods who I have boundaries with. My healthy spiritual practice looks like being grounded in my body, in nature, my friends around me, my family, and most importantly, maintaining good mental health. It includes working a job I love, telling stories of nature to others (I'm a tour guide/naturalist), and writing. I go to therapy weekly, I'm medicated, and I actively take steps to heal and recognize how my psychosis impacted both my spirituality, religion, and path. Recovery is possible. You are never alone.

I'm more than happy to open conversation about this topic and answer any questions! Please also feel free to correct me on anything I said.

I'm hoping this helps someone who needs to hear it, spreads awareness, and most importantly, promotes healthy religious practice. I'd like to thank my deities (Loki and Aphrodite) for encouraging me to make this post and speak up about my experience <3 It's always wonderful to have a spiritual team that is truly on my side.

Blessed be, my friends! Stay happy and healthy!

[gumjrop]

Masking and Protests

In a win for community care,masks are being used broadly at recent protests on college campuses across the country, making these protests more accessible as well as showing solidarity with disabled communities. Some college campuses have attempted to ban or discourage masking at protests. University of Texas at Austin’s Provost issued a statement including a rule banning masks, and University of North Carolina’s Provost asked protestors not to mask, citing a state law from 1953 enacted in response to the KKK. Notably, the North Carolina mask law contains an amendment, introduced in 2020, to allow masking “to ensure the physical health or safety of the wearer or others” (see PDF link to the amendment).

Masking at protests must be allowed to make protests accessible for disabled and immunocompromised people, and safer for everyone. COVID and other infectious diseases can spread both indoors and outdoors, especially in crowded settings. Share our guide to accessible protests on Instagram or Substack, and also check out our statement and call to action on Palestine. Also consider supporting mask distribution efforts such as local mask blocs, which may be seeing increased demand related to protests.

Wins

Remember our allies at the University of California Academic Worker Union from our January 2023 webinar, who fought for COVID safety protections? They're running for office this week on the executive board of UAW local 4811.  Check out their slate—which includes disability justice and COVID protections—and learn how to vote here.

The Weather

The CDC’s reported COVID wastewater levels by state show “Low” or “Minimal” wastewater levels across all reporting states and territories as of April 25, with no data available from North Dakota, West Virginia, Puerto Rico, the US Virgin Islands, and Guam.

Wastewater levels across all four regions are at lower levels than this year’s fall-winter peaks, with all regions showing either a slowing of the rate of decrease or a leveling off. You can still be infected during times of lower wastewater COVID levels. Precautions including consistent masking in all public spaces are still necessary in our daily lives to reduce the risk of infection, to prevent Long COVID, and to practice community care.

Variants

The CDC’s variant tracking has been updated and now shows many JN.1 sublineages, including KP.2, JN.1.7, and JN.1.13.1. Regional variant NowCast predictions are not available as of April 26 for any US region.

COVID Treatment

With the end of the national Test to Treat program in mid-April, we have lost an important route for affordable and convenient access to Paxlovid. Still, Paxlovid continues to be an important treatment to prevent the development of severe COVID. A few important facts about Paxlovid eligibility that people may not be aware of:

Paxlovid can be started within 5-7 days of the start of COVID symptoms. Initially, starting within 5 days was the recommendation. The extended window for treatment is particularly important as folks may test positive later in the course of their infection, sometimes a few days after symptoms develop. 

People aged 50 and older are eligible even if they do not have other medical conditions.

Younger people with certain medical conditions may also be eligible for Paxlovid.

The PAXCESS program may provide a Paxlovid discount from the manufacturer and provides free Paxlovid for people who receive Medicare or Medicaid and uninsured people without prescription drug benefits. 

If you are infected with COVID, make sure you also talk with your doctor about over-the-counter medications or supplements you may be taking. Even over-the-counter medications can have significant risks that should be discussed in the context of your individual medical history.

COVID Prevention

An effective multilayered approach to COVID prevention should include proven measures such as masking with high-quality respirators (N95s, KN96s, KF94s or better), improving indoor air quality with ventilation and filtration, physical distancing, getting the latest vaccines, and using COVID tests appropriately. Unproven methods should not be considered part of a multilayered approach. Topical nasal products such as sprays or ointments may seem tempting but are not proven to prevent COVID infections (none are FDA approved for COVID) and may have risks. For example, Vaseline and petrolatum-based ointments can cause pneumonia if applied to the inside of the nose, as they may be subsequently inhaled where they can damage the lungs. Over-the-counter antibiotic ointments are intended to protect from bacterial infection in minor skin wounds and should not be used inside the nose. Although early research on other uses has been publicized, given the risks of petrolatum-based ointments if used in the nose, it is important to wait for larger scale studies to understand both potential risks and benefits. Colloidal silver, sometimes touted in nasal spray form, is not proven to treat or prevent any medical condition and can cause permanent gray pigmentation of the skin as well as other serious side effects. Research studies shared in the news or on social media should not be used in place of medical advice from an individual healthcare provider you trust. 

While we expect masking and other multilayered precautions to remain a mainstay of prevention, we hope that further research will lead to FDA-approval/authorization of additional drugs for COVID treatment and prevention in the future.

Measles

Measles outbreaks within the US continue, with the first Wisconsin case being reported. Measles transmits through the air as well as through contact with surfaces, and is highly contagious. Now is a good time to check vaccination records for yourself and your loved ones, get any catch-up vaccinations, and check with your local healthcare provider if you are uncertain about vaccination or immunity status. In some cases, lab testing for measles immunity (antibody titers) can be helpful.

Take Action

Use MaskTogetherAmerica’s letter campaign to ask your elected officials to reinstate the Test to Treat program for free and convenient COVID and influenza testing, telehealth, and treatment access.

Support science-based COVID isolation guidance from the CDC using our letter campaign to contact your elected officials or sign on to our expert letter.

If you know someone who is organizing a protest, share our guide to accessible protests with them, via Instagram or Substack.

[amethysts-tavern]

A tender moment between reader and Astarion early in a potential relationship.

Gender neutral, no class or identifying features mentioned. Some backstory for Tav.

Also, I apologize for any bad grammar. COVID booster is kicking my ass today.

————

“Storms never last.”

It had been raining for hours. You had set up camp under the canopy of tall trees. The thought was that the full branches would protect you from some of the storm. And that worked until the lightning started. Electricity crackled through the sky making the hair on your arms stand on end. Loud thunder claps reverberated off the ground and surrounding hills. It was enough to shake your tents.

You had never been fond of storms. When you were little, a bolt of lightning had struck your family’s house, setting the roof on fire. Thankfully everyone inside got out safely; but you had feared storms ever since. The sheer power of the one coursing through the sky now was enough to instill fear in every fiber of your being. You sat alone in your tent, huddled with your arms around your knees, hugging them to your chest and wondering how you were going to get through the night.

After the fire, your mother had taught you to count the seconds between lightning and thunder to assess how far away the brunt of the storm was. You wait for a flash of electricity and begin your count: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… BOOM! Five miles. The worst of the storm was still five miles away.

Another loud BOOM, this time followed by a CRACK. You cautiously peel away the canvas flap of your tent, to see what caused that cracking sound. A large branch from a nearby tree, leaves wet and swaying with the wind, lay not far from the entrance to your tent. The edge where it was severed from the trunk singed with scorch marks. Lightning strike. Too close for me.

You take a quick look around camp. Most of your companions are all tucked in for the night, their tents dark. Everyone except Astarion - you see that his tent is still illuminated from the inside. At that point, another loud clap of thunder shakes you to your core. You know you aren’t going to sleep at all tonight if you have to weather it alone.

After waiting for the next thunder clap to sound, you dart from your tent over to Astarion’s, rain stinging your face as you run. Without announcing yourself, you pull back the flap of his tent and enter. By the time you step inside, you’re completely soaking wet. Astarion looks up from his book, surprised to see you. “Tav, what the hell? Is this a thing for you? Bursting into other people’s tents unannounced?” Astarion says with annoyance.

“Sorry. Sorry,” you start apologizing, clearly flustered by his response to your presence.

Astarion’s demeanor softens, as he stands up from his bedroll. “Well, come in, then. You’re soaking wet.”

“Yes. It’s raining,” you reply, not sure what else to say.

Astarion looks around his tent and grabs a dry tunic. He hands it over to you. “Here, put this on and stop dripping all over the place.” He turns his back to you so you can change.

“Thank you,” you say meekly, taking the tunic. You strip off your wet clothes and pull his tunic over your head. “I’m sorry to disturb you. I… don’t like storms.” You pause a beat before continuing, “Can I stay here tonight? I always feel safer with you around.”

Astarion turns back around to assess the situation, you standing there in his tunic looking chilled to the bone, not just from being wet, but from being clearly terrified of the storm outside. He sighs and smiles softly, “Of course,” Astarion says, flattered that you picked him to join tonight. He crawls back into his bedroll and motions for you to join him, “Come on, you must be absolutely frozen.”

Suddenly there is a flash of light outside immediately followed by a loud clap of thunder. That’s enough for you - you practically jump into his awaiting arms. You do your best to snuggle in for the night, even though you’re still quaking, still frightened of the storm raging outside.

Astarion feels your fear and pulls you closer to him, stroking your hair, “Hush now, Tav. Storms never last. This will be all over tomorrow,” he offers some quiet, comforting words. Your body relaxes in his embrace and you are finally able to drift off to sleep.

[drdemonprince]

my thoughts and values align with yours re: STIs and risk AND i keep coming up against resistance to the recent discussions as a high-risk person still living almost entirely isolated amidst the ongoing pandemic. and when i take a second to breathe and think, i realize these are not conflicting at all. the friction isn't that i view illness morally or that i think we should avoid all risk. it's that the majority of folks without question take precautions to reduce STI exposure but the majority of people no longer consider doing the so minorly inconvenient precautions to reduce the spread of covid, which i would argue is much riskier than STIs at this point. and it's so exhausting because then i have to, based on my risk analysis of covid, take way more precautions because no one else is looking out for me. community care and harm reduction are my biggest driving values and i grieve how absent they are around me. i just wanted to share in case others are feeling similarly while reading this discussion. you rock and i so hope i get to engage in a beautiful public kinky scene some day.

Hey, thanks so much for sharing and walking us through your thought process.

What I might add is that individual people might not seemingly put much effort into COVID mitigation anymore because they have next to zero institutional support in doing so. Many of my disabled friends have to work in areas with a high risk of COVID exposure: waiting tables, stocking grocery store shelves, working as home health aids or phlebotomists, or teaching in schools. Some of them are high risk themselves, but because they have no choice but to work in areas where their life is put on the line, they have very high stress decompression needs and feel already resigned to their disposability in society, and so they do also go out to bars with their friends or hold parties or visit clubs.

I also know people who are able to socially distance quite strictly, test regularly, are vaccinated and boosted, but who intentionally make plans to visit cruising spaces or gay orgies very rarely so that they can remain relatively safe COVID wise but also not kill themselves out of despair (I'm not being hyperbolic here, that's exactly what some people have told me are the competing risks they face when they balance COVID exposure against isolation. And I know that many high risk populations face these same severe negative mental health outcomes too -- in fact, I know high risk people who choose to go out in public at times in order to remain sane, but who have to sit with the fact that it could be a mortal danger to do so).

I also think about how the queer community came together in the fight against AIDS to make condoms available, to educate one another about safer sex practices or harm reductionist practices, to engage in sex together in risk mitigating ways (such as gloved fisting) and how they pushed for the government to make drug treatment available to them. I see a lot of queer and disabled advocacy groups doing similar work today to spread accurate data on COVID as best they can, promote masking, organize solely outdoor events, encourage vaccination, and remind people of the stakes.

And I see such a massive gap between the ways in which risk mitigation was made possible through such community efforts, and how catastrophically the government fails us regarding COVID. We are not given free tests anymore. Vaccines aren't free anymore either. It is no longer a state of emergency. Many of us have been forced back into in-person work at our jobs. Our unemployment benefits have been cut. Student loan payments are roaring back into action. Disability benefits and medicare's expansion is rolling back. We no longer have accurate testing and tracing data. Masks are no longer required.

If a person wants to behave responsibly regarding COVID, how are they even supposed to? They can wear a mask in public and not experience in-person community to the extend they might like or need. But they can't actually prevent themselves from getting or spreading the virus because they've been forced back to work. I understand many people do not even take these small steps to reduce harm and that it is dismaying and outrageous. And I think you have ever right to feel outraged by it. But I also think individual behavior flows from social support and institutional pressure, and nearly all of that is heading in the wrong direction right now.

And I think about how collective the push for better government interventions regarding AIDS was, and how much the push regarding COVID instead is focused on targeting individual people for the actions they've made within a very unsupportive context. It was not beneficial to view individuals who had bareback sex or shot heroin as the origin of HIV, and I don't think it's helpful to understand COVID as a phenomenon of individuals failing to mask now.

Granted, it took HIV activism YEARS to get to the point of ACT UP. And we're not so many years deep into COVID yet comparatively. Personally when I look at all these facts in context I see a population that largely did take COVID seriously for a time, but who, due to a mix of institutional failure, mass misinformation, risk resignation, and despair, no longer do so in their behavior.

I don't believe in moralizing emotions and I think from your perspective you're affected by all these factors PLUS the massive risk of developing Long Covid symptoms or worse. And I know you know and live all this shit already so forgive me for preaching to the choir. But I do want to gently push back against the idea that most people don't care about COVID the way they care about STI's. I believe our discourse on both has been horrifically poisoned by individualism, capitalism, and institutional failure.

Some articles I have written on the subject:

[liminalweirdo]

[image id text: instagram user covidsafecampus:

"As folks return from break and gather on campus, we all have a responsibility to each other to practice care and prevent COVID transmission.

In the face of erasure, sharing information helps us keep each other safer.

Now is an especially important time to wear a high quality mask, get updated vaccines, test before gathering, and stay informed.

Yo make it easier to find resources online to share, we created a covid health education guide.

Check out the resources at: covidsafecampus.org/health-ed"

end image id text]

[louseegoosey]

I’ve noticed a LOT of new followers the last few months, which I’m assuming is bc of inflation and covid. So, first off, welcome! We are here for you ☺️ Second, the most important thing you need to know abt lîftīng is how much trouble u can get in if u get caught. You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with yourself— can you or someone close to you afford bail? What are some of the realities of jail and/or prison? Are you comfortable accepting those consequences? This is not meant to discourage you. It is meant to make you pause.

It’s very easy to go thru a bunch of lïftîng blogs and get heart eyes. Two weeks worth of groceries?? For FREE?? Yup. But that kind of skill didn’t happen overnight. And it’s not without risk. Thinking u can jump into this without doing an enormous amount of research is a fool’s errand and almost guarantees u will get caught.

SO, some things to consider: what do you want/need the most? Where is the easiest place to get it from? What techniques do u need to pull it off? Which ones are u most comfortable with? Where can you practice that is low-risk? What are the exact laws and penalties in your state? VERY importantly, what are cops allowed to do/ask? Biggest advice: tell them NOTHING.

Be smart, be safe, don’t risk it if there’s a safer way or if you get a bad feeling. Trust your gut 💛

[kendrixtermina]

Israel is the ultimate Omelas

I always thought that Israel was a perfect microcosm of the duality of man because on the one hand they had brutal oppression and on the other it had all those brilliant futurists and scientists, and a great healthcare system that had one of the best responses to covid.

It always baffled me how those two things could coexist in the same country. How those brutal stories of oppression and books of revolutionary thought could be coming from the same place.

Now I'm realizing that this kind of makes it the perfect tyranny.

In totalitarian states like the Nazi dictatorship or sovjet communist states, the population was severely oppressed. We associate the Nazis with blind obedience but actually there was an assassination attempt on him every few months or so, 42 in the 12 years he was Dictator. Bastard kept surviving due to bad luck, like a speech being cancelled due to rain or some intern moving the suitcase with the bomb. The Nazis demanded total obedience and would execute people for speaking French or drawing modern art.

Then there is the USA's corporate rule - not as bad as dictatorships maybe, but much of the population is dirt poor and know their options to vote for are largely corporate stooges. They don't have health care, decent education or consumer protection, so they have reasons to resent their taxes being used for war.

But Israel? The population lives in one of the most advanced utopias on earth! There is healthcare, luxury, culture, even relative freedom as long as you don't say "palestine". If you don't go in the westbank, you don't realize what's going on. The insidious trick of what segregation does is that it keeps the oppressed out of sight.

If you really want to be ignorant, you can probably manage to stay that way, comfortably, and live with all the same comforts as Swedes Canadians and Japanese.

The tyranny does not touch you unless you become a soldier or there happens to be a resistance attack near you, and even in those cases, the propaganda machine has comforting answers for you. Or at least, you're told that ending the tyranny means destroying your utopia - if it's you or a stranger, many people will pick themselves their lifestyle and their family.

Of course the big lie here, or the point where the analogy totally breaks down, is that doing away with appartment and giving equal citizen rights to everyone will not actually do away with the world-class universities and hospitals or even safety... indeed you'd be safer if you didn't keep producing angry traumatized people by butchering their families. It's a false dichotomy. A trap that presents the status quo as some lesser evil.

Euro-americans are fine without Jim Crow laws; Germans did not perish without conquerring Poland; Afrikaners are fine without apartheid - indeed the former disenfranchised people are still catching up economically exty years later. There should probably be affirmative action or reparations, once Palestinians get equal rights.

Nationalism is a myth cooked up as recent as the 19th century. Historically there have never been "pure, unmixed" peoples. People mix and trade and emigrate and copy each other, as long as people have been. You are going to have to live with people different from you & share with them. It's ok. The rest of us learned that lesson too (albeit imperfectly and often at a great cost; The EU is not clean-handed at all and is unforgivable fucking up in many ways as we speak) - No one needs ethnostates. No one is entitled to ethnostates - not Germans, not Euro-Americans, not Hindus, not the Japanese, not Israelis. Ethnostates do not make you safe. Moreover: Ethnostates are not practically feasible.

Look at the area slightly east of where I live and all the bloodshed that came from being unable to draw a line so that all Poles are on one side & all Germans on the other. And now there's still Poles living here and not even a real border anymore. If only we could have made the EU straight away instead of having all those wars, displacements & slaughter!

One day in the far future when there is peace ppl will look back at today and ask "why didn't they stop it sooner why all this waste?"

Eventually you're just gonna have to SHARE the god damn country. Like EVERY OTHER COUNTRY on earth that has multiple languages, religions and ethnic groups.

The Rwandans managed to make peace! And in that case there wasn't even a detachment of technology involved, ppl killed their neighbors (and those who refused to participate in the killing) with bare hands and machetes. But it's a prosperous, orderly country now. They opened many malls recetly & had a great response to covid.

It can be done. There's nothing special about the middle east. People there are not uniquely depraved, the region has been stable & prosperous before.

[baekhansol]

The Light Hashira - b.bh

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : light hashira!baekhyun x marechi!reader

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : demon slayer au, fantasy, violence, smut, kind of angst and fluff if you squint

𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 : mature & explicit

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : as a child, baekhyun and his mentor saved you from being eaten by a demon and learned that you have a rare form of blood that's very attractive to demons, called a marechi. Baekhyun takes the initiative to remind you of a promise you made as a child.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 4.3k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : blood, death, injuries, oral, pretty vanilla piv sex

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : i'm sorry because this must suck. i've finished it up with a covid-fogged brain :/

You knew of the suave, handsome, yet endearingly cute and awkward Hashira, Byun Baekhyun more so than others. You were rescued by an older, previous Hashira as a child and were in frequent contact with members of the demon slayer corps. 

You were already considered old for being unmarried, but you also knew no one in your town or nearby villages would want to marry you, considering the number of people, especially men, you had in and out of your home. You had a rather large home on the outskirts of town, surrounded by wisteria for your safety. 

You were lucky to own such an estate, partially given to you by Oyakata-sama and partially by the herbs you grew and sell.

This time around, you had to leave for a larger town to get new seeds. Your gifted crow happily accompanied you to the train station, and you grip the dried wisteria pendant that rests on your chest to calm yourself. You watch as the train pulls to a stop, nodding to the crow as it flies off and you get on. 

You look for a seat and, to your surprise find Byun aboard. It came as a relief, as you were finishing your menstrual cycle and knew you would be safer with the Hashira. You adjust your skirts and sit across from him, tilting your head curiously at him. 

“Hello, my lady,” he practically purrs, making you scoff and roll your eyes. 

“Byun,” you greet, bowing your head politely. 

“I wondered why I was told to be on this train, but now I understand. There’s so few Marechi, hm?” he states. 

You shrug at the statement and peer out the window. “I suppose,” you murmur. 

“Are you married yet?” he asks casually as if it were the most normal question to ask. 

“It’s hard to marry with young men constantly in my home. The townspeople like to believe that I’m a witch over a whore,” you admit, resting your hands in your lap. 

“You can always take me up on my offer,” he hums, relaxing into the seat as the train moves, spreading his legs open. 

You give him a skeptical look, not believing him as the memory runs through your mind. 

You were hardly of age when you were in town gathering things for your family. You had finally finished menstruating and were allowed to town, only to come home to a complete tragedy. 

Your entire family was merely blood along the whole home, the stench of blood so overwhelming all you could smell was rust. You move through the house in a daze, reaching your eldest sister who was barely holding on. 

“It’s still…” she begins, her eyes dull as she reaches out to you. “Here… you need… run,” was all she could barely say.

You shake your head, not understanding how this could happen until you hear an eerie laugh. 

“I knew if I stayed long enough, you’d come,” the voice laughs, and you look around for it. Your eyes land on a muscular body, with eyes devoid of all humanity. They were inhumanely pale with navy tattoos and red hair. If the voice alone hadn’t been eerie enough, seeing them was enough to make you nearly pass out, only staying on your feet due to adrenaline.

“I may as well toy with you, no? You are all mine, you see,” the monster sneers, stepping closer.

“Oh, all the things I could do with your pretty little body, hmm?” they continue walking towards you until your back hits the wall. 

You don’t remember much after the demon attack until you wake up in a soft, warm bed with an older boy in a uniform nearby. And that boy was Byun Baekhyun. 

“You’re safe now,” he assures you, resting his hand on his sword at his hip. He calmly explained to you what happened, what you are, and that he and his master killed the demon and buried your family. 

You weren’t sure why he was so patient and gentle with your recovery, but you were thankful for it. When you were able to leave the estate, you were brought to what would be your new home. 

“The wisteria will keep you safe, but I promise that once I’m Hashira, you can marry me and you’ll never have to feel unsafe ever again,” Baekhyun says, his words so sincere you nearly cried. 

Instead, you shook your head at the older boy, heading inside to meet the older woman who became like a grandmother to you. 

You snap back to the present as the conductor punches your tickets, and you look back up at Byun Baekhyun. 

“We were children,” you sigh, shaking your head.

“Children are very honest, and I meant it,” Byun admits, much to your dismay. 

“Yes, well, why don’t you tell that promise to the many other women who claim to be married to you or are your fiances,” you practically snarl, all but literally forcing him to halt the conversation. 

He lets out a deep sigh, and you know you’ve hit a nerve. 

“At times I have claimed to have a fiance. After saving people, they often beg me to marry their daughters. So, I tell them I am betrothed. To you,” Byun relents, glancing outside. 

“You know that’s not how consent works, nor do I have any relatives that can approve of it on my behalf,” you respond as you roll your eyes. 

“Master could have approved it,” he grumbles. 

“Has he?”

“No, but I did save your life.” 

“Yeah, and how many times have I helped heal you back to health?”

“Maybe twice?” 

“Mhm, so who really owes who?” 

Byun sighs, shaking his head. 

Unfortunately for you, it was dark by the time you arrived in the proper town. You made your way with the Hashira in tow as you head to your regular inn, only stopped when Byun grabs your arm. 

“Are you menstruating?” he asks, way too seriously for your liking. 

“What? Why would you ask such a thing!” 

“Are you on your period? Yes or no?” he demands. 

“I shouldn’t be anymore…” 

“Fuck,” he groans.

Byun is quick to pull you into an alley, down a side street, and out of the way of any potential bystanders. You didn’t need to ask what he was doing, as you could hear the inhuman grumbling closing in. 

“Stay close,” he commands, drawing his sword. 

It always caught your eye due to its unique coloring. When Haganezuka saw it change color, he was ecstatic. The brilliant, glowing white offset the black like yin and yang and is said to be an ancient combination that few but very strong swordsmen had.

You only saw the sword for a moment before he leaps into action, beheading a lesser demon. You knew right away as it faded it was only a ruse, considering the cold body pressed behind you, a hand to your throat. 

“Too bad I caught the pretty little girl first,” the demon mocks. 

Your eyes widen as they meet Baekhyun the voice eerily familiar. 

“Oh, I remember you! Your master killed my brother. That makes this even better! Especially because this girl is a Marechi!” 

If the demon’s sound wasn’t frightening enough on its own, it was his voice that made things much worse. 

It takes you a moment to find your voice, and the brief interaction is enough. “I’m not a girl, I’m a woman,” you correct, doing your best to remember what you were taught as a child if anyone were to grab you from behind. So, you use your heel to stomp on the demon’s foot while elbowing his stomach. You feel the bones in your elbow snap, but you don’t have it in you to care for or feel the pain. The demon’s grip loosens and your reaction is quicker than his to practically leap away toward Byun. 

Byun is quick to trade spots with you, closing in on the demon.

“Light breathing, form one,” you hear Baekhyun mutter, moving quicker than you can process.

His speed increased practically tenfold since you were children, his blade constantly bashing the demon. You step out of the way, not wanting to go unattended at night or in case other demons were lurking nearby. Your eyes wander for something, anything to splint your arm with, but nothing is worthy.

The demon begins pushing Byun towards you, a crazy look in his eyes. “I will eat her,” the demon aggressively asserts, to which Byun laughs.

“You don’t get to eat her before I do,” Byun laughs, confusing the demon and causing it to falter.

“You’re all talk but no bite,” Byun says, continuing his assault.

Your adrenaline begins to wear out, and you halfheartedly stagger towards the fencing that surrounded the town. You prop yourself against it, trying to watch the battle unfold and push off passing out from the pain.

Unfortunately, you were helpless at the moment without any of your herbs or remedy and had to rely on Byun finishing the demon and getting you both away.

Byun somehow knew where the proper inn was, and the keeper was quick to give you the room you had previously reserved as well as first aid equipment. 

“Help me- help me take this off,” you ask once he gently wakes you, needing to take off your outer layers for both comfort and to make it easier to check your arm. 

Byun gently unties your hanbok and lays it on the bed next to you, helping you roll up your sleeve. 

You let out a relieved sigh at the sight, glad no bones punctured through. You gently feel the area to see if the bones shattered, but it seemed as if it was a clean break. You begin to splint your arm, Byun helping to wrap the sterile bandages so they would be firm. He ties you a sling which you gratefully wear before turning to him. 

“Take it off,” you say, gesturing to his bloody shirt. 

“It’s not mine-” Byun begins to claim. 

“Byun, I know it's not. You killed the demon and I’m not bleeding.” 

“I’ll do it if you call me by my name,” he childishly decides.

“Baekhyun, I need you to take off your shirt,” you say softly, your cheeks burning at your words.

He does as you ask, revealing some bruising and a nasty slash across his chest. You sigh at the wound and begin to clean it, feeling your cheeks flushing at how intimate it felt all of a sudden. It was as if you’d never done it for anyone before. You then mix the ointment, Byun helping you by holding the bowl. You use your fingers to apply it, noticing how he was intently watching you. You place a fresh piece of gauze over it before managing to wrap up his injury. 

“There. In a few days you’ll be as good as new,” you assure him. “Get some rest now, okay?” You suggest, getting out a futon to sleep on. 

“No, you take the bed,” he scolds, shaking his head no as he takes the futon from you. 

“But you’re- you’re injured! Byun, let me!” you disagree, letting go of the futon so he could lay it out. 

He tsks at you, laying down on the futon. “I told you to call me by my name. Besides, you are also injured. A futon is a luxury for me, so you get the bed,” he asserts with a shake of his head.

You can’t help but groan and roll your eyes, going to bed regardless. 

“Sleep well~” Baekhyun says as you get into bed, blowing out the candles. 

When you wake up in the morning, Baekhyun is still asleep. As you sit up, a groan of pain escapes you. You adjust your sling and observe his sleeping form. He was breathtaking. 

You sigh and carefully get up, picking up your clothes. You take off the sling and carefully dress, wincing as you move your injured arm. You can’t figure out how to quickly tie the knot in your hanbok one-handed, so you carefully step around Baekhyun and peer into the hallway, wondering if there was a woman who could help you. 

“Let me,” you hear Baekhyun get up, gently touching your shoulder and turning you. 

You let him and he carefully ties it, his hands shaking slightly. You tell yourself it is so he doesn’t touch your chest, but you’re not so sure. 

Once you wash your face, you leave the inn. Outside is busy with people bustling up and down, a few stalls up here and there. Your crow finds you and joins your shoulder as you go to the bakery you frequent, guiding Baekhyun inside to get food as your crow lands on the sign to wait.

You eat outside to people watch, breaking off a piece for your crow before taking Baekhyun’s hand once you’re done, as you notice some men staring at you. “Let’s go to the apothecary now,” you murmur, leading the way. 

Baekhyun grips your hand firmly but gently, staying by your side with his free hand on the hilt of his sword. 

“I’ll be going to a different store, so take your time in here, okay?” he states as you arrive. 

You nod and head inside, getting the seeds and filling your stock, buying more difficult-to-grow ingredients. You exchange them for some dried herbs and pay the difference before exiting, wondering where Baekhyun went. 

You find him holding a fairly large box with a foolish grin on his face. 

“What did you acquire?” you ask, unable to contain your curiosity. 

“It’s a surprise,” Baekhyun says in a sing-song teasing voice. 

----------------------

A few months after you healed, you were at the Master’s mansion in a side room by the garden, getting ready with his daughters. One was attentively doing your hair while the other focuses on your makeup. 

“Don’t be nervous, okay Y/N? He’s always loved you,” one of them says. 

“Yes, ever since we saw him after meeting you for the first time,” the other agrees. 

“He has always been learning about Marechi too.” 

You smack the lipstick on your lips, holding your hands as you feel them begin to shake. 

“It’s time,” you hear someone say, and you carefully get up. 

You follow the twins out, gently stepping into your shoes and going into the garden, allowing the ceremony to start. 

The entire process was a blur, and you begin to drink wine and soju to calm your nerves. Eventually, someone takes you away to wash up, helping you sober up as well. 

“Y/N, let me know if he isn’t gentle with you and I will gladly scold him for you, okay?” Seulgi tells you as she helps you into your nightgown. “I don’t mind putting him in his place.”

You can’t help but giggle, your face still flushed as she urges you to drink more cool water. “I’m sure I will be fine. I won’t let him get away with anything too crazy on our first night,” you giggle.

She giggles with you, having you sit on the bed. “I’m sure he will be here soon, okay?” Seulgi says before making her exit. 

You hear her greet him in the hallway, and moments later a grinning Baekhyun enters the room. He eagerly joins you on the bed, pulling you into a hug. 

“I’m so happy you said yes!” Baekhyun admits, kissing your head. “I was afraid you’d reject me again like when we were younger���” 

“Okay, but I was ten or something at the time,” you grumble. “I still thought boys had cooties.” 

“Fair,” he laughs, pulling away to look at you. “Are you feeling okay? We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” 

“I’m fine, Baekyun,” you assure him, playfully pushing him away from you. “Besides, you’re the one who said you needed to eat me first.” 

“Did I?” 

You nod sincerely. 

“I suppose I did,” he laughs, leaning down and capturing your lips in a heated kiss. “You look beautiful in the hanbok,” Baekhyun says, pulling at the tie. 

“You’re the one who was given the silk,” you respond against his lips, shrugging out of the outer layer. “And you always look good in your uniform.” 

You were surprised it was what he choose to get married wearing, but it was a new one and was clean so you couldn’t complain. 

“I should wear it more often,” he jokes, continuing to strip you of your clothes. 

“Very funny,” you respond, rolling your eyes. “It’s not like you wear it every day or something,” you laugh, shaking your head as you pull at his clothes. 

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Baekhyun hums against your lips. 

You giggle against his lips, letting your outer layers fall to the ground. “You just said I look beautiful in a hanbok, now this?” You can’t help but tease him. “To be fair, you always look handsome,” you sigh, watching him take off his shirt. 

“Just admit how smitten for me you are, why don’t you?” he teases, undressing to his underwear and helping you do the same. 

“I can’t, then you’d win,” you giggle as you climb into his lap. “Tsk, I’ve already won,” he disagrees, his hands gentle on your waist. 

“I suppose you have,” you admit defeat, letting your lips meet. “But I’ve won too,” you murmur against them, slowly making out. 

Baekhyun laughs against your lips, letting you continue to lead the pace. He was clearly in no rush. As you softly whine against his lips, rutting your hips into his, he bites your lip. The gasp that escapes you allows him to let his tongue into your mouth. Baekhyun slowly begins to assert dominance, and you don’t want to fight it much. 

“I love you,” he murmurs when he pulls away, his lips finding your neck. Baekhyun pulls away to finish undressing you, guiding you to lie down before him. 

You let him lay you down, spreading your legs as his waist fits between them.

“Baekhyun,” you softly call him out of his trance; he was enchanted by your body before him. 

He gives you a loving smile before kissing your lips, slowly letting making his way down your body. Baekhyun’s lips find one of your nipples and he lets his teeth graze the soft bud, his tongue flicking on it as it hardens. He smiles against your skin as soft noises of pleasure escape you, and he takes his time and does the same to your other nipple. 

You reach for him, not knowing what to do with your hands. As he pulls away, he takes one of your hands in his, smiling down at you. 

“I told you I was going to eat you, did I not?” he says, his tone somewhere between playful and serious. 

You nod a little as he continues to kiss down your stomach, stopping at your pubic bone. 

“Is it okay if I do?” he asks, wanting you to decide. 

“Please,” you murmur with an eager nod. 

Baekhyun adjusts himself and spreads your legs, getting you both comfortable. His warm breath on your folds makes you want to close your legs, but you keep them open. 

“I’ve not even done anything and your thighs are trembling,” he gently teases, kissing your inner thighs and soothing them with his hands. 

“Don’t tease,” you grumble. 

“I’m not trying to,” Baekhyun laughs, using his thumbs to open your folds and pull up your clitoris hood to place a kiss on your clit.

You gasp at the feeling, moaning when you feel his tongue dive into your wetness and spread it across your folds. He takes your hand in his again before he continues to suck and lick on your folds, causing you to grind against his face. Baekhyun’s tongue enters your hole now and then, letting you get used to the feeling.

“I’m going to put my finger in you, okay love?” he asks, gathering your juices on his fingers. 

You nod eagerly and hear him chuckle. 

“Your words, love,” he prompts you. 

“Please Baekhyun,” you manage to say. 

“Good girl,” Baekhyun praises, sucking on your clit as he inserts a finger. 

You whine out his name in pleasure, gasping as his finger finds a sensitive spot inside you. 

“Right there?” he asks, grinning slightly. 

“Ye-yeah,” you moan. 

Baekhyun hums against your folds speeding up ever so slightly as he sucks on your clit, his tongue flicking over the sensitive nerves. 

“B-B-Baekhyun,” you moan as he adds another finger, feeling like you were going to release. 

“Go on and cum for me, be a good girl for me, yeah?” he gently urges you. 

He adores the noises escaping you, and his gentle reassurance and urging allow you to completely fall over the edge. Your thighs attempt to close around his head, but he keeps them open with his shoulders in the way. 

“That’s it, good girl. You’re doing so good, so good for me,” he soothes you as he helps you through your orgasm, watching you calm down. 

“Do you feel okay?” Baekhyun asks, squeezing your hand and leaning up to get a better view of your face. 

“Mhm,” you murmur, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. 

“Words, love,” Baekhyun urges you. 

“Yeah. feel so good,” you tell him breathlessly. 

“Good,” he happily hums, kissing your temple. “Do you want to keep going?” Baekhyun asks. His eyes were wide and earnest, and you knew he wanted to keep going but would stop if you didn’t want to. He wouldn’t even need a reason why. 

“I want to, yes,” you assure him, sitting up and kissing him once you can reach him. You don’t mind the taste of your juices on his lips as you kiss him, too full of love. Plus you didn’t taste too bad, you decide. 

He smiles and rolls you into his lap, and you let him work you back up again. Before you’re out of oxygen you pull away, pulling off his remaining clothes and exposing his cock. You can’t help but whimper at the sight of it like one of the cats you’ve heard outside your house in heat. 

A soft chuckle escapes Baekhyun at your eagerness, and he guides one of your shaking hands to touch him, smearing your precum with some of the lingering juices on his hand. He was already firm, but Baekhyun wants you to touch him first to get used to seeing his dick. 

You let him guide you, enjoying the noises that escape his lips. No one ever saw Hashira vulnerable, and it gave you a strange sense of power to see him this way. 

“You’re doing so good,” he softly praises, soon stopping your movements. “I want to be inside you. Is that okay?”

“Yes please,” you murmur,  pulling away a little to lay down.

Baekhyun places a hand behind your neck and helps you lay down, a soft smile on his face. 

“Let me know if it hurts, okay?” he asks, cupping your cheek as he lines himself up to your entrance. “I’ll stop any time you want me to.” 

You nod more, holding onto his bicep as he slowly enters you. Because of how aroused you are, it isn’t painful at all despite the stretch. 

The sinful noise that escapes him is music to your ears, and you can’t help but respond to the melody. 

“Baekhyun, please,” you softly beg, unsure what for. 

“I’ve got you,” he chuckles softly, soon fully inside of you. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” Baekhyun reassures you, beginning to roll his hips and thrust into you. 

You gasp out a moan as he begins to move, your muscles clenching and relaxing repeatedly as he moves. You watch as Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrow in concentration as he changes the angle of his thrust, searching for the spot he found earlier. 

He leans his weight onto his forearm, his hand cupping your cheek as he uses the other to raise your leg. 

“Kyun!” You loudly cry as he immediately hits your g spot. 

“There it is,” he softly laughs, kissing your forehead as he continues to thrust into you. 

You squeeze his bicep and reach down between your bodies, your fingers clumsily rubbing your clit. 

“That’s it, good girl,” Baekhyun praises, watching intently as your face contorts in pleasure. 

“‘M close,” you manage to moan out. 

Baekhyun nods and picks up his pace, and you soon find yourself unable to hold back anymore. 

“Baekhyun!” you cry out as you tightly clench around him and peak. 

He watches you intently, trying to hold off his impending orgasm. When Baekhyun feels your juices practically gushing out of you, he falls over the edge. Spurts of his cum release inside of you, causing you to whine as he continues to thrust a few more times. 

“You did so well for me, Y/N,” he assures you, kissing your lips and slowly pulling out of you. 

You nod, feeling exhausted. 

“I’ll clean you up, I’ll be right back, okay?” Baekhyun says, kissing your temple before slowly getting up. 

You begin to drift off to sleep, only to wake up when you hear his soft giggles. 

“Baby, did I wear you out that much?” Baekhyun asks, using a wet cloth to clean you off. 

“Not everyone has the stamina of a Hashira, sorry to inform you,” you snort, sitting up and watching him. 

Baekhyun had put on boxers already and was taking out his shirt for you to wear. 

“That’s fair. Let’s cuddle and sleep, okay?” he suggests, sitting you up and putting your arms through the sleeves of his shirt.

“Yes please,” you tiredly murmur, laying back down. 

Baekhyun lays behind you and you snuggle into him. You cant see his smile as he wraps his arm around your waist, but the happy noises that escape him make you guess that he looks like a fool from his smile. 

“I love you, Baekhyun,” you tell him, closing your eyes. 

“I love you too,” he hums in response. 

[sassy-ahsoka-tano]

any thots for austin and Priscilla!actress reader??? I imagine them living together during lockdown bc they both stayed in australia andddd shit gets hot

ooh yes, priscilla!reader has become a super popular idea recently and i love it...

i would imagine you don't live together at the beginning, maybe you're both renting out apartments or condos or something, but then with covid happening it just makes sense for you to move in together to save money, be safer, and still be able to practice lines together.

ooh maybe it happens while you're rehearsing the kiss scene. you want to focus largely on the lines. you're trying to get them just right. so you continue to rehearse all the way up to the kiss scene, but you always pull away right before it.

one of the times, you're not fast enough, and he catches your lips. you pull back real fast like "what are you doing? this is a work relationship only, austin."

and he just gently places his hand on your thigh, itching up higher and higher, further and further inside your leg, toward your heart. you give him a stern look, but you know you won't do anything to physically stop him. he just sticks his head in between your neck and shoulder and whispers against the skin, asking you if it's okay for him to kiss your neck.

and it's all history from there, once he gets your sweet spot. within a matter of seconds, you're both tearing each other's clothes off, and he's laying you down on the couch, on the floor, on the bed, in the kitchen. anywhere he can get his hands on you.

i feel like this would get so out of control so quickly. like it just starts as a fun little activity to pass the time, but it quickly becomes a need that you both have to quench whenever you can. you cant even walk by him without catching his eyes trailing down your backside.

[violet-prism-creatively]

good omens s2 episode reactions: 5

i'm watching season 2 one episode at a time and posting my reactions. e1, e2, e3, e4, e6 (links will be edited in as i post them)

here's episode 5:

aaaaah plot is happening! as much as i liked the minisodes, the plot really does move so much faster without them. 

nina is officially single and dancing with maggie! they're very cute. nina is very crowley-coded. when she said she's going to sit alone at home and get drunk, i could practically see crowley thinking "yeah i've done that." nina also has more insight into crowley's love life than crowley himself does. the writers seem to be setting up that crowley and aziraphale will end up together as a couple! they dance together! 

crowley is protective even more in this episode! and aziraphale isn't helpless, he just likes to let him because it makes crowley happy. well, not happy exactly. i like the scene where crowley confronts gabriel, telling him that he remembers "shut your stupid mouth and die" and holds a grudge. but then jim tries to jump out the window just because crowley told him to, and you can see crowley's internal struggle. yeah, okay, he'll get jim hot chocolate. while still hating gabriel.

gabriel's memory is in a matchbox! the resurrectionist matchbox that muriel found in the first episode! it's all coming together... 

the party is delightful. everyone except nina and maggie falling into jane-austen-style speech patterns is fun. especially the "seamstress." (is that a terry pratchett reference or a normal euphemism?) gabriel/jim explaining that he's offering free food is also great. 

i wonder why the austen-ness and aziraphale's miracles in general don't affect nina and maggie. maybe because the point of the ball is to make them fall in love? but they also stay behind in the bookshop when the rest of the humans leave, despite aziraphale telling them with a miracle sound effect to leave. the weirdness of everyone around them being sort of hypnotized into the ball and literally all doing a dance they've never learned could be seriously creepy if played differently. 

i hope the humans just forget all the demon stuff. they must be really confused and scared. with any luck, it'll be like the weirdness of armageddon't and it will fade away. rip to the guy who tried to call the police on the demons, a karen but brave for using that karen-ness against the forces of hell. 

aziraphale speaking french to the restaurant lady was fun for me to watch. i didn't see what was so amateurish about it, but i also have an easier time understanding slow, english-accented french than understanding a native speaker, so i'm pretty biased. 

a few jokes i thought were good: "smited? smut? smitten?" the demon wearing a covid mask and having it ripped off to reveal a grotesque mouth. the angels trying to remember jim and uriel saying "no, it's aziraphale who likes books." 

what's crowley's plan with going to heaven? gabriel would probably be safer there than in hell, but the angels don't recognize him. they did that miracle too well! also crowley is putting himself in danger by going to heaven- though i think we're going to see the angel disguise from the trailer. 

my overall rating: 9/10. i'm so excited to see the next episode and know how it will end! 

i'm actually posting this right before i watch episode 6! i've unfortunately seen some spoilers already but i'm still excited to see how it will play out!

[qqueenofhades]

I remember that nonnie telling you how they haven’t got a single interview since they graduated a few months ago. I was in the same situation and on Thursday I got contacted and they were supposed to interview me on Monday (that same Monday they were supposed to tell me at what time and which location) but then like at noon they told me that I was hired, so I had to go on Tuesday (today). I went and it’s a 8am-6pm schedule, Monday to Saturday. I’m a civil engineer, but in those 10hrs we were in the sun, there’s no shade or seats. Around 3pm the water ran out and that was it, they didn’t bring more. Honestly I hated the job, I wouldn’t go back but I need the “experience” because without it my hopes of getting another job are practically nonexistent 🥹 I understand it’s a tough job, but there wasn’t even the minimum requirements, no breaks, the water ran out, the temperature was around 38-40 C (100-105 F), and the bathrooms were locked 🫠 and also they wanted me to use MY car for errands, as in go print this thing we forgot, go buy some gas cause we ran out. Maybe I sound whiny, but I didn’t like it 😣

WELP. Hun, I don't know where you are in the world and what the specific labor laws might be as a result, but no matter what, that sounds TURBO SUPER MONDO ILLEGAL to me. They didn't even interview you, they expect you to work 60-hour, 6-day weeks with no breaks, no water, no bathrooms, outside in boiling heat, making you pay out of your pocket/use your own car for company errands??? Once again, it all sounds SUPER ILLEGAL. Like, not just breaking basic best practices, but as in actively constituting an illegal work environment and laying grounds for a lawsuit, especially if God forbid someone was to keel over from heat exhaustion or something.

I can't tell you what to do, and if you think that you won't ever get another job if you don't go back, that's your choice. But yeah, I don't like the sound of that at all and hope that you'll take care of yourself, even if you're obviously badly in need of a job. I suggest looking into temp agencies i.e. for office work, as those are often in high demand and at least would allow you to work inside and in a more regular way. It might not be directly in your field, but it would be safer. So yeah, either way, I would prioritize getting out of there fucking ASAP, even if it means you have to end up in another temporary role in the meantime. Honestly, everywhere is in such flux, people are moving from jobs/leaving jobs/having to pick up part-time gigs/otherwise still in the full force of COVID-related disruption, that I seriously doubt this job alone will impact on your chances of getting a new one. If you quit in disgust after a week or whatever, you don't even have to put it on your CV or mention it again, so yeah. Be safe, k?

[iamthecomet]

And hoot again :D

Yeah, you’re very right (both with so quickly depending on it being overwhelming and with it showing how much I needed it)

The trip to therapy went quite well! The bus wasn‘t overly full on both ways, so I could sit down which was really good. I‘m still nervous for the first time that I’ll sit down on the floor if all seats are taken (it would be safer and better for me, but before I was always too scared to do that. Now that I have a cane that makes it sort of visible that I have trouble walking/standing, I want to try to do it).

I have suspected that I have hypermobile joints for a while (the problem is that I’m not in enough pain to really struggle so much that it would really be worth seeing a doctor for, but I’ll mention it when I got my next appointment). Part of the problem is my bad memory, because due to that I honestly can‘t even remember if I’m in pain (I know stuff constantly and quickly starts hurting but that’s probably normal in most cases and I also have a really high pain tolerance).

My body can do things it‘s apparently not supposed to do though

But I feel it with the cane, cause my wrist always sort of wobbles cause it’s really not stable. So I tried applying tape today, but only went to the very near grocery store that takes like a minute to walk to. So I don’t really know how much it has helped yet regarding walking with the cane. I do feel more comfortable though, and I think it‘s also helping me with writing and drawing

(On the video I watched the guy explained what the hypermobile thing in that hand he was showing it on is exactly, what it would look like if it wasn‘t hypermobile and what the tape is gonna do. And my thumb has the exact position that is a result of the joint being hypermobile (so like my suspicion doesn’t seem to be too wrong)

Since noon I had a really really bad headache that felt like my skull was split open and my brain crushed. So really not nice. I took 1,5 ibuprofen and later one paracetamol but nothing helped.

Then I tested myself cause I remembered that the only time I had such a bad headache was when I had COVID and boom! Positive

So yeah. I‘ll stay in bed tomorrow (and my head hurts so fucking much. I hate it)

I‘ll send you pics when the order gets here if you want! :D

But two pairs of Doc Martens sounds very nice!

A really sweet and funny story:

A friend of mine asked me to explain Ghost (as in, explain everything).

Three days ago I sent a video of like a few clips of Jutty, one of which being this clip in which he is like “unfollowing is bullying“ and “wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨“

And since then, we‘ve constantly been sending “wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨” back and forth (then we started to send the clip as a only one time viewable video so it wouldn’t be visible beforehand).

Today, I cut off the beginning of an edit and put that clip behind that to hide it and sent it to them. They have also hidden it in a poll on WhatsApp already

It turned into a game and we can‘t stop laughing about it because it‘s so fucking silly xD (it‘s practically like Rick-rolling)

wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨

(You just got wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨-ed. You‘re welcome xD)

~ @owlishanon

I'm glad it's still going well! It's good that it gives you so much peace of mind and that you feel confident doing what you need to do now without worrying that something awful is going to happen. But I'm so sorry that you have COVID! It's rotten. I hope you get lots of rest and your headache doesn't last too long. Sleep and drink lots of water! You can definitely send me pictures of the stuff you get when it comes in! I always love to see people's hauls! I am very excited about my docs. I paid $140 for both pairs, which is like half of one what one of them costs brand new. I feel VERY lucky about it. One pair is rusty orange suede, they're short boots. Great for every day. The other are standard black knee highs which have been my dream boots since, like, forever (I've owed many, many pairs of knee high lace-up boots, but none of them were Docs). The wHaT iF i WaS cOsMo 🧐🤨 thing has me giggling. Thank you for that. What a great joke to have with your friends, seriously. Fucking Jutty. He kills me in the best ways.

[hoursofreading]

The GOP's only policy position is that of 'what will hurt people most?' There is no reason why Republicans even have a chance of taking back the majority. In 2022 alone, Biden and Dems have done the following:

passed the Inflation Reduction Act, the biggest investment in fighting climate change in history

passed the bipartisan infrastructure bill, the largest investment in infrastructure since Eisenhower

passed the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act, breaking a 30-year streak of federal inaction on gun violence legislation

signed the CHIPS and Science Act into law

took out the leader of al Qaeda

ended America's longest war

reauthorized and strengthened the Violence Against Women Act

signed the PACT Act, a bill to address veteran burn pit exposure

signed the NATO accession protocols for Sweden and Finland

issued executive order to protect reproductive rights

canceled $10,000 of student loan debt for borrowers making less than $125,000 and canceled $20,000 in debt for Pell Grant recipients

canceled billions in student loan debt for borrowers who were defrauded

nominated now-Supreme Court Associate Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson to replace Justice Breyer

brought COVID under control in the U.S. (e.g., COVID deaths down 90% and over 220 million vaccinated)

formed Monkeypox response team to reach communities at highest risk of contracting the virus

unemployment at a 50-year low

on track to cut deficit by $1.3 trillion, largest one-year reduction in U.S. history

limited the release of mercury from coal-burning power plants

$5 billion for electric vehicle chargers- $119 billion budget surplus in January 2022, first in over two years

united world against Russia’s war in Ukraine

ended forced arbitration in workplace sexual assault cases

reinstated California authority to set pollution standards for cars

ended asylum restrictions for children traveling alone

signed the Emmett Till Anti-Lynching Act, the first federal ban on lynching after 200 failed attempts

Initiated “use it or lose it" policy for drilling on public lands to force oil companies to increase production

released 1 million barrels of oil a day for 6 months from strategic reserves to ease gas prices

rescinded Trump-era policy allowing rapid expulsion of migrants

expunged student loan defaults

overhauled USPS finances to allow the agency to modernize its service

required federal dollars spent on infrastructure to use materials made in America

restored environmental reviews for major infrastructure projects

Launched $6 billion effort to save distressed nuclear plants

provided $385 million to help families and individuals with home energy costs through the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program. (This is in addition to $4.5 billion provided in the American Rescue Plan.)

national registry of police officers who are fired for misconduct

tightened restrictions on chokeholds, no-knock warrants, and transfer of military equipment to police departments

required all federal law enforcement officers to wear body cameras

$265 million for South Florida reservoir, key component of Everglades restoration

major wind farm project off West coast to provide electricity for 1.5 million homes

continued Obama administration's practice of posting log records of visitors to White House

devoted $2.1 billion to strengthen US food supply chain

invoked Defense Production Act to rapidly expand domestic production of critical clean energy technologies

enacted two-year pause of anti-circumvention tariffs on solar

allocated funds to federal agencies to counter 300-plus anti-LGBTQ laws by state lawmakers in 2022

relaunched cancer 'moonshot' initiative to help cut death rate

expanded access to emergency contraception and long-acting reversible contraception

prevented states from banning Mifepristone, a medication used to end early pregnancy that has FDA approval

21 executive actions to reduce gun violence

Climate Smart Buildings Initiative: Creates public-private partnerships to modernize Federal buildings to meet agencies’ missions, create good-paying jobs, and cut greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions

Paying for today’s needed renovations with tomorrow’s energy savings without requiring upfront taxpayer funding

ended Trump-era “Remain in Mexico” policy

Operation Fly-Formula, bringing needed baby formula (19 missions to date)

executive order protecting travel for abortion

invested more in crime control and prevention than any president in history

provided death, disability, and education benefits to public safety officers and survivors who are killed or injured in the line of duty

Reunited 500 migrant families separated under Trump

$1.66 billion in grants to transit agencies, territories, and states to invest in 150 bus fleets and facilities

brokered joint US/Mexico infrastructure project; Mexico to pay $1.5 billion for US border security

blocked 4 hospital mergers that would've driven up prices and is poised to thwart more anti-competition consolidation attempts

10 million jobs—more than ever created before at this point of a presidency

record small business creation

banned paywalls on taxpayer-funded research

best economic growth record since Clinton

struck deal between major U.S. railroads and unions representing tens of thousands of workers after about 20 hours of talks, averting rail strike

eliminated civil statute of limitations for child abuse victims

announced $156 million for America's first-of-its-kind critical minerals refinery, demonstrating the commercial viability of turning mine waste into clean energy technology.

started process of reclassifying Marijuana away from being a Schedule 1 substance and pardoning all federal prisoners with possession offenses

Note: This list only reflects 2022 accomplishments. Click here for 2021 accomplishments.

[russilton]

Not sure if I like more rb au or the omega George au wow. Rb au is very veryyy promising, and not to give out more ideas, but the edgy competitiveness would also work well with an angst au merc fic where new driver George is excited to race next to his hero, only to be initially shunned by Lewis jealousy of his talent and him being equal in quali/race pace, just to realize later it was what he'd always needed in a teammate (and maybe a partner in life too). Also, more omega snippets pretty pls?

I am awful fond of both au’s for different reasons! I think RB au lets me explore a more tense relationship than I normally would, something that has to get past a lot of George’s personal issues to work as a relationship. I am, surprisingly, a massive fuckin wuss about writing relationship angst, platonic or otherwise! I hate arguments, and as an autistic man, my whole life has been not being able to read other people's emotions! Communication is sexy.

But because RB George has so much external angst, I can still give George that pain and anger without having to make Lewis be the one to cause it. Loop holes! However this is probably why (at least for now) I’d never manage to write Merc or Lewis hating or knowingly neglecting George while he’s on the team. I can’t do it, I’m so whipped for found family dynamics. Sorry anon!

George’s relationship with Merc in RB au won’t be perfect that’s for sure, but they also give him some grace because Lewis vouches for him, and George makes sure to return that trust. I’ve said to bad before, that they’d probably be collectively shitting themselves the first time they ask George to let Lewis by, so sure he’s going to refuse. But George doesn’t, cause he knows Lewis would do it for him, and it’s what the team needs. Shockingly when you know your team aren’t looking to replace you at every turn, it feels safer to focus on a group necessity over his own. His trust is still so fragile, but he also leans into Toto’s encouraging hugs, and feels listened to by shov and James A. Lewis is there the whole time, reminding him that it’s okay for George to talk to them.

Since I am too much of a pussy to write relationship angst, and you said please, here’s another 2k of 2021 a/b/o au below the cut to make up! Set just after the last snippet ended (Saudi Arabia 2020)

A reminder that this shit ain’t edited lmao, that’s the deal you make asking for wips.

———

George’s scent clings to the car throughout the weekend like an invisible sheet, light but unmovable, and it’s still there when Lewis pulls the car into parc ferme and parks up behind third, drifting lazily into his nose alongside the far less pleasant brake dust and scorched rubber.

It did fade slightly, his own sweat washing away some of the more unsavoury tinges from Georges final laps, leaving Lewis with just the purest parts of the Williams drivers profile to contend with. Coffee, citrus, salad, and honeyish sweetness blended among them. As he’d struggled his way through practice, trying to redial the car into his baseline, it had washed over him in waves. At the start session it had left him feeling more out of focus than he’s ever felt before in a Mercedes’. He misses apexes he wouldn’t normally miss, breaks earlier, not trusting his own perception. Meanwhile his brain throbs dully and tries to convince him that is not an absolutely insane idea to pull the car over and explore every inch of it where scent may linger.

He tries discreet nose plugs for second practice, and though his times improve, his skin feels itchy and he can’t shake a lingering discomfort in his gut he can’t label, he ditches them again for the final practice, and he falls back to 6th again but the caffeine in his nose somehow beats away his exhaustion.

He doesn’t understand why his body is reacting this way. There’s no known history of Covid boosting scenting ability, in fact it had caused a somewhat hysterical panic among many for how to took away smell. Lewis hadnt been that alarmed, his nose had never been particularly strong anyway, even as an alpha he preferred to focus on body language over trying to read someone’s emotions through pheromones. It felt like cheating, scent giving away more than some intended to share. Going without it entirely wasn’t good either, but Lewis had been braced for that, expecting it. George’s scent however seeps through that wall of fog, becoming damn near the only thing he can smell.

After qualifying he even ends up pulling Valtteri and Bono aside to test his nose. Scenting Val doesn’t return much, even with Lewis pressed close to his neck. The alpha usually smells like a comforting blend of oats, espresso and gin, a mix Lewis has grown accustomed to. He and Lewis had always been fairly happy to scent each other for comfort, any ideas of dominance long thrown away. Now he can’t smell anything from him, and it’s more disconcerting than he wants to admit. Bono tilts his head for Lewis next, and if he really strains Lewis can just get a hint of black tea and paper, and the faintest strain from his mate James. But it’s all distant, like trying to smell someone in a shirt they haven’t worn for months. They don’t ask why he’d need to try, but he gets a sympathetic shoulder squeeze from both when he shakes his head and admits he can’t get anything.

The pack dynamic within Mercedes’ has always been complex, some bonds looser than others, a lot of the higher ups falling into a tighter, non hierarchical pack, and the mechanics and admin staff tending to group among themselves, with a general cross over when they’re all under the same roof. For Lewis it’s always been more about behaviour than scent, only the lighter scented betas are able to get away without suppressing patches anyway.

But cut off entirely now he realises how much he misses being able to smell Toto’s scotch and aftershave scent, the trace of Susie and Jack that came with him. He aches distantly for Angela’s almond notes and James faint spice blend. Most of them have been part of what Lewis would call his pack for years, but now they’re completely gone, and yet George’s scent persists.

It doesn’t make sense to him, but he tries not to think about it before the race, chalks it up to covid weirdness, or maybe George being close enough to a heat he was giving off extra scent. He feels tired enough from the lingering effects of sickness, he doesn’t need to add stress about his nose to that.

On Sunday he’d eyed his nose plugs, knowing that he’ll be able to focus better with them, but it means sacrificing the only clear scent he has left. In the end he’d left them in his driver room, unwilling to give up the comforting weight of orange and honey on his brain. It slows him down, but he finds the familiarity also catching his attention whenever exhaustion starts to tug at his sore chest, even through the thick layer of his helmet while moving 100kph. When his shoulders ache from the g-force of the car, he allows the smell of green salad leaves to distract him. Coffee keeps him pushing through to finish third, and all together they stop him from slumping over in his belts as he parks the car, levering himself out of the cockpit on exhausted arms to complete the well worn routine of podium celebrations.

When it’s all over, he wanders back to the Mercedes offices, trophy in hand. There’s not really a debrief to be had, considering it’s the last race of the season, but he’s not ready to lie alone in his hotel room, and it’s a good compromise to the instinct in him to go sit near the car again. He imagines the mechanics currently packing everything away won’t appreciate him being in their way.

He finds Bono and James sitting together on one of the common area couches. The mated couple only look over at him briefly before they’re back to talking about technical data on a shared tablet, Bono glancing back to give him a once over with a hint of concern. Lewis knows he probably looks like shit, his body is back to aching again, so he drops into the chair opposite them and lets their loving bickering wash over him. He can’t smell them, but just the cadence of their familiar voices is helping.

He ends up dozing a little, listening to the sounds of the team breaking down the building around them, already getting ready to pack up and return to Brackley. He hears distinct chatter, fond discussions among all levels of the team not quite close enough to make out. It’s not true pack time, but it’s as close as he’s going to get for now; and he soaks it up as the paddock slowly gets quieter, more and more people leaving to head back to their hotels (or to clubs. Lewis would have joined them once, but the idea of doing so in a pandemic makes him nauseous).

He’s not sure how long he’s drifted when he hears a door open and citrus hits his nose. It has his eyes snapping open, distantly registering that Mike, Valtteri, Riki and Shov have joined them, scattered across various other couches. His focus is all on the new faces entering the building. Toto is leading George over to them, both looking relaxed and jovial, Toto must be returning from a meeting at Williams, he is George’s manager after all, but that information doesn’t really matter when Lewis can barely look away from George.

He and George have crossed paths more than once, even talked a few times when George sought him out for driving advice. None of it is out of the ordinary, he’s their reserve after all, but something has changed in the lithe omega. He’s carrying himself taller, a new confidence that was missing before. Toto greets them all before telling George he’ll be back soon, something about collecting a phone, Lewis doesn’t really hear it, his eyes tracing George’s sharp jaw.

He manages to shake himself out of staring at the younger man eventually, hoping nobody saw his embarrassing lapse in mental function. He doesn’t get long to dwell on it when George turns his focus on him.

“Hey, Lewis, great drive out there today mate, I hope I left the car in good shape?” His voice is warm and genuine, and it takes Lewis a second to remember what George is talking about. George in his car, right, the catalyst to this whole weird weekend.

“Oh! She looked great, man, not a scratch on her, thank you. From what Bono told me you had a good time with it?” He doesn’t say a word for the hidden marks George left behind

“Good time doesn’t begin to cover it, that car is a rocket ship” George’s tone is laced with awe, he looks like he’s remembering the drive, and Lewis finds himself matching his grin.

“Sorry I couldn’t let you have another shot with her, I was itching to get back behind the wheel”

“No worries, I get it. Besides, I’m sure there will be more chances”

“We’ll see, George, you’ve got another year at Williams yet”

Lewis just about managed not to jump at Totos deep, amused voice cutting him off as the Austrian rejoins them. George doesn’t quite succeed in doing the same, jolting in shock before knocking Toto playfully in the side with his elbow when he claps a hand on the slim omegas shoulder.

“Better get him back to Williams before he ends up stowing away in one of the moving trucks” Bono calls out from his spot between James and Shov, making the whole group fall into easy laughter, even George.

“Good call Peter. As for the rest of you, go and get some sleep, you’ve all earned it '' Toto instructs, flipping them off when he hears a few teasing ‘yes Dads’ echoed back at him. With that they’re both heading for the door again, out into the balmy night air.

As George leaves, a distant, fuzzy memory from high school surfaces from Lewis’ subconscious.

Lewis had tried his best in school, but between financial stress from home life and what he now knows as untreated dyslexia, he’d not paid as much attention to the finer details of his science classes as he probably should have. What he does remember now though is his sharp faced year 10 biology teacher telling them about scent compatibility, stronger scents indicating compatible mates. It had all felt a bit cold and clinical to Lewis, and he chalked it up to one of those evolutionary things people didn’t really need anymore.

He gets it now, watching the glass door swing shut behind them, George’s scent staying as strong and potent in his nose as it had on Friday when he first got into his car. It’s not just about possession and power. It's addicting, the settling comfort the young omega brings just with his presence alone. The pain in Lewis ribs had eased just being near him, and now it’s already beginning to creep back with his exit. He wants to follow George, seek more. He can’t even pretend it’s just about dynamics. Bono is an omega, they’ve been friends for close to a decade and while he was comforting to be around, it’s not even close. Lewis still wants George.

When he dreamed of this moment as a child, he’d imagined something similar to what happened in the movies. Joy, excitement, a desire to reel George in and never let him go. But all he feels is a deep, throbbing ache. George is thirteen years younger than him. A junior for their team, a potential teammate, someone who looks up to him. For Lewis to make any advance on him at all… he wouldn’t ever be able to know if he was taking advantage of George.

Just as the door in his heart had opened, it slammed closed, the shock of it settling into an ache in his ribs. He shuts his eyes and leans back into the couch under him, lungs feeling heavier than ever.

He wishes he had a pack member's scent to ground him, but in a cruel sort of irony, even surrounded by them, all he has is George.

———

Angst (it doesn’t count as relationship angst if it’s just Lewis having guilt, my fic my rules) ! Mild soulmatism! Get it all here!

[lesbiantenets]

Downloadable Reproductive Justice Zines

Barnard College has curated a selection of reproduction justice zines available for download directly on their website.

The zines included so far:

Abortion-Positive Coloring Book for Hard Times by the Lilith Fund

The Lilith Fund provides food-related, superhero, and other illustrations to color in with pro-abortion messages.

A Guide to Medication Abortion for Barnumbia by Reproductive Justice Columbia

Medication abortion 101.

¿Por qué el gobierno es así? : Una fanzine sobre la lucha por el acceso al aborto y la justicia reproductiva en la era de COVID19 by the Lilith Fund

Escribiendo en junio de 2020, un autor de Lilith Fund aconseja sobre cómo navegar por la justicia reproductiva durante la cuarentena de COVID-19 y cómo los lectores pueden apoyar a los trabajadores locales esenciales y a los inmigrantes indocumentados. El zine, escrito en español, incluye dibujos en acuarela y otros gráficos a todo color.

What is this thing called M.E.? author's name not listed.

Menstrual Extraction became popular in the 1970s, but after the passage of Roe v. Wade, feminist activists focused their efforts on medical abortions and the practice became less common. This zine gives a history of M.E. and describes how it is safer than other DIY abortions and how using it instead of a medical abortion can help women reclaim their bodies as well as give women in poor areas and developing countries a more affordable and empowering option. *Scanned and uploaded to the Internet Archive with assumed consent. The zine had previously been online. We attempted to reach the creator without success.

Who is fit for motherhood? : Why abortion is not the only reproductive right by Lauren Jade Martin

Lauren Jade Martin, author of perzines Boredom Sucks, You Might As Well Live, and Quantify puts out this "condensed and simplified" version of her senior project, which focuses on the intersections of race and class in reproductive rights. She considers reproductive rights other than those related to abortion, such as forced sterilization, forced birth control, and population planning, issues that often disproportionally effect poor women, women of color, and immigrant women. The zine explores the tension between second-wave feminism and these reproductive rights abuses, and describes how the interests of middle and upper-class white women are often different from and even oppositional to the interests of poor women or women of color. Lauren includes a lengthy bibliography, photographs, historical and current information, and her email address. *Scanned and uploaded to the Internet Archive with Lauren's permission

Why Is the Government Like This : A Zine About Fighting for Abortion Access and Reproductive Justice in the Age of COVID19 by the Lilith Fund

A Lilith Fund artist accuses Texas legislators with responding poorly to the coronavirus pandemic, using bans on elective surgery to prevent access to surgical abortion in the state. The zine is illustrated with watercolor paintings.