#crack thoughts

[lemmeplaymom]

Yuuka: Oh! Well, somebody's smiling! Did something good happen?

Leona: Why can't I just smile because I feel like it?

Ruggie: Malleus slipped and fell down the stairs, and I had nothing to do with it this time.

[kolthecryptid]

My absolutely batshit theory is that Agent 18 is connected to the watcher. Proof? Haha.....

1. He called Phil a team leader, I've never seen fed workers refer to the islanders time on egg island let alone that specifically

2. Doesn't care about the eggs, and that's sus

3. Was helping with the egg island/watcher investigation (I think? My memories hazy) he could've sabotaged it from the inside

4. The way in the prison he's (trying) to pit the prisoners against each other using tasks.

5. Is stinky

Im not even sure if turtle helmet guard is also agent 18 but he's calling Phil & tubbo mate and being as antagonistic as 18 soooooo.

Do I think it's true? No. Do I think it's a kickass crack theory? Yes.

[fishwithtitz]

@copias-juicebox and I are DYING as we talk about Copia's possible job responsibilities as Cardinal and the inevitable fuck ups that happen...

The first day on the job, Cardinal Copia reads his job responsibilities and duties, and unbeknownst to him, there is a typo.

He is supposed to be counseling the Satanic Pope, but autocorrect has changed it to the Satanic poor.

Outreach seems logical, so he readies himself and gets to work.

So here he sits, cold calling members of the ministry to find out which ones are struggling to make ends meet. His nerves keep him from the logical option of offering the ministry's resources for those in need of emergency help, and instead he tries his hardest to offer solid advice but comes up short.

"Si, si, I know it is hard." *laughs awkwardly*

*strokes mustache thoughtfully* "Have you eh- tried to make more money?"

*rings gloved hands together as he cradles the phone between his shoulder and ear* "Maybe a job would help? They pay, you see..."

"Oh, heh, I am not sure what Feet Finder is, but I don't think it sounds as, uh, lucrative as you think-"

It isn't until Sister Imperator walks in (interrupting his current call) and hands him the corrected responsibilities list that he realizes his mistake and the color drains from his face as he rushes to hang up the phone.

"Mi dispiace, I must cut our conversation short. Eh, ta ta!"

He looks at the the rat spinning in his exercise wheel in the cage to his right and points a knowing finger.

"Do not tell anyone about this or you will lose your cheese privileges for a month."

(gif credits go to the talented and hot @copias-juicebox because she is an amazing bby that deserves all the copias she wants🖤)

[justarabidlittleyingzhao]

I really feel that the whole way Shuiyuntian is run, it really sets itself up for comedic shenanigans. Immortals breaking out of Karma Jail every other day, an autocratic Emperor everyone lies to, all those secret totally Not Gay rendezvous(es) in A Magic Painting, is Danyin competing in the Yujing version of My Kitchen Rules as she tries to tempt Changheng with more of her cooking, and the whole time an invisible DFQC is sliding through Zhongshui's private balconies without Anyone Noticing... and does he ever see Yunzhong .. uh. You know. Having Secret. Um. Rendezvous of his own?

Has anyone written a crackfic for this.

Shuiyunanigans.

[madychi]

Mmm what if I made a Sonic Dungeons and Dragons (dnd) but it was called Zones and Badniks (znb)?

[dragon-with-a-ink-quill]

Be cringe do crime

That is all.

[starkidobsessedgiantgremlin]

So, some of my friends are getting really into Hazbin Hotel, and it’s started seeping into my mind. I’ve taking a liking to Vox, mainly because of character design, his song, humor, and voice actor (Christian Borle my beloved). And I have a (really really stupid) crack theory.

Vox:

associated with technology, specifically surveillance

died in the 1950s

angy boi

holds grudges

You know what other character in media ever that applies to?

Agent Owen Carvour

though, the died in the 1950s thing is stretching it, Owen was still PRESUMED dead in the 1950s.

And Vox also introduced technology into Hell, so he had to have a really great understanding of how that stuff works. Y’know who worked in a surveillance organization for four years? Agent 👏👏 Owen 👏👏 Carvour👏👏. Voxtech is just Chimera but Hell Edition ™

like… it’s not THAT flabbergasting to think that these two are the same guy

[zoeysdamn]

I can't help but think about this reblog (@limerental )that absolutely made my day under my fanart of the Lodge of Sorceresses:

You're absolutely right my friend, and you can't tell me this didn't happen:

At a Lodge meeting:

Fringilla: please, why would we listen to Philippa? She's not our mom or anything

Triss, on the other side of the room: I'll let her be my mommy

Fringilla: what

Triss: what

Keira: damn right

Fringilla: ?? What kind of witchcraft is this

Yennefer: lesbomancy, I believe, quite frequent among us if I may

Fringilla: ??? Aren't you with GERALT, Yen?

Yennefer: irrelevant

Philippa: *proud lesbian mommy smirk*

Fringilla: ow come on, you're not gonna tell me that Philippa got everyone under her spell?

Sabrina: more like under her mou—

Fringilla: *offended Nilfgaardian noises*

Yennefer: okay, who here is gay for Philippa?

Margarita: *raises a hand*

Keira: *raises a hand*

Francesca: *raises a hand*

Triss: *raises both hands*

Sheala: *raises a hand*

Sabrina: *raises a hand*

Yennefer: *raises a hand*

Djikstra: *raises a hand*

Fringilla:

Fringilla: wtf are you doing here Djikstra

[hey-august]

alright, what if the head of buggy's ween was also red and round like his nose?

what if his nips were also red spheres?

[daenerystargaryen06]

Just a sudden and odd thought I had, but I am dabbling in the idea of- what if when the dragonhorn is used to attempt at binding Daenerys' dragons, Victarion has a fate similar to Quentyn? It is in hindsight a mere speculation, and likely won't happen in the books however G.R.R.M is writing them out, but it is fun to speculate on.

My thought is that Daenerys' dragons are inherently different from the other Targaryen dragons with the information we've gotten about them. Unlike the other Targaryen dragons, Daenerys' bond to her dragons is much different- she sees her dragons as her children, and they bond to her as a child would a mother. She is their mother. Their bond (imo) is stronger than that of any other we've seen from the old Targs and their dragons. Daenerys doesn't see her dragons are mere tools to help her in war, nor as pets. She sees them as her legitimate children, and has even fed them at her breast. When Quentyn goes to attempt to claim Viserion as his, he notices that Viserion is actively looking for Daenerys. He wants his mother.

There are various ways the dragonhorn event could play out-

When the dragonhorn is used, it could not even work at all. Daenerys' dragons (imo) appear almost integrally intertwined with magic (their fast growth rate, and the very fact that they could be Lightbringer themselves). It makes a good speculation point that their magic could cause the dragonhorn to not work at all against them, and Victarion would end in failure. Or even the fact that their bond to Daenerys is so strong, the dragonhorn would fail, as Daenerys is their mother.

If it is used, it could likely claim Viserion or Rhaegal (but I have a small skeptism towards this. Many speculate that Viserion or Rhaegal under the effect of the horn would destroy KL, but I can't see this happening. I believe KL will be destroyed by Wildfire during the battle of fAegon v. Cersei.) If it does wind up taking one of Dany's children, though, it would be an interesting plot point to where Dany is conflicted in having another person taking her child away from her, and wanting her child back, and what actions she would take upon this event.

My speculation- it could wind up as a Quentyn situation for Victarion.

I speculate this merely for fun, but it could be a twist on the narrative and story point if Victarion tried to use the dragonhorn to take one of Dany's dragons, only to fail, and wind up killed because of it. When Quentyn tried claiming Viserion, he didn't account that Rhaegal would kill him. Rhaegal is described by Ser Barristan as being more dangerous than Viserion. While Viserion is sweet and affectionate, Rhaegal has more of a wild temper, and will likely kill anyone who tries to do what Quentyn did with Viserion.

My imagined scenario is when Victarion attempts to use the dragonhorn, he will likely attempt it with Viserion, and won't account for Rhaegal being the more dangerous one out of the two. When Rhaegal sees what Victarion is doing, he'd kill whoever is attempting to harm/take his brother as he did with Quentyn. It would create a potential plot point for Dany to return to Meereen, find out what had happened, and discover the danger of a dragonhorn- leaving her more cautious and protective over her children.

It would also play out Quaithe's warning to Dany.

Victarion would be attempting to tame one of Dany's children, and make her his wife, but lose his life in the process (paralleling Quentyn as wanting to claim Viserion and take Dany as his wife as well). We already saw it happen once- who's to say it can't happen again? Victarion's plan could be entirely fumbled on the accounting of him attempting to use the dragonhorn on Viserion, but have his life ended by Rhaegal, proving Rhaegal to be just as protective and warrior-like as he is shown in the books; alike to what Dany viewed Rhaegar as.

This is mere speculation and a fun thought... don't take it seriously lol. I just wanted to dabble in a potential plot point for the books.

[hermitdrabbles56]

Shooo instead of "A boy and his dog" is it just "A dog and his bigger weird dog"?

[lemmeplaymom]

Ace: *snickers* Seriously?! "Walking Encyclopedia" Was your old nickname?! Guess I'll be asking you for answers from now on.

Yuuka: It's not like the answers you would see on a school test. It's just oddly random stuff.

Ace: *smirks* Okay, I'll bite. Give a random fact that not many people know.

Yuuka: Hyenas aren't really dogs. They just look like dogs, and the females evolve a false penis that they have to give birth through.

Ace: ...

Yuuka: They can also purr.

[brain-rot-central]

Good morning to everyone.

Hope you woke up ready to get hurt, because I have some angst/hurt Astarion content for ya!!!

I had a thought a while ago after realizing that in 200 years, Astarion's grave was basically forgotten. It's covered in dirt and plant growth, essentially meaning that no one has come to visit his grave in years. Given that Astarion was only 39 when he died (not sure if this is officially cannon but the community has kind of accepted this as such?), his parents couldn't have been that old at the time of this death.

Astarion is a high elf and in DnD lore, they live up to around 700 years. I doubt very much they had Astarion when they were 600+. I'd bet money they were probably around 200ish. That being said, technically... His parents should still be alive, even in the present game, as this is set roughly 200 years after Astarion is turned. Astarion would only be 239, at most in current game.

So, where are they? If Astarion is from Baldur's Gate, that would mean his parents should be in the city. Why would they leave their son's grave to rot?

WELL

I have a theory that stemmed from learning about a supposed puzzle game within Cazador's palace, and Neil Newbon also saying there was like 2 hours of content within the game that he hasn't seen anyone get to yet (this was a while ago).

My theory is that Cazador killed Astarion's parents, not long after turning Astarion. Given they are all high society, I have no doubt the Ancunin family knew the Szarr family rather well from parties or events they held within the Upper City. Astarion's mother and father had come to Cazador's palace seeking information regarding their missing son. Cazador had let them inside, and then proceeded to murder his father, but keep his mother, sealing her within his dungeon, still mortal, while he decided what to do with her. Knowing how handsome Astarion was, he had no doubt his mother would be stunning, and of course she was. Cazador went back and forth for decades between turning Astarion's mother or having her become his bride.

I would have been absolutely floored if behind the puzzle was Astarion's mother, still mortal, trapped for centuries in a dungeon having never known what happened to her son. Until she sees him, slowly realizing he's her son but different (red eyes and pale skin), but still her child nonetheless. Astarion of course doesn't recognize her at first since it's been so long, but her scent as she draws closer jogs his memory enough to where he immediately runs to her, holding her close to him and burying his face into her chest like that of a small child seeking comfort.

[0rangecoloredskies]

Broke: Courier 6 joins the trio to help find the higher ups & Cooper’s family

Woke: Courier 6 joins the trio to help find the higher ups & Cooper’s family only to be revealed later as Cooper’s daughter with amnesia.

[kuromori4]

I was thrifting today and saw a big wooden plaque that made me chuckle, because I could just imagine Adrien standing in a gift shop staring at a wooden sign that says 'Families are forever' and him thinking 'Is that a threat?'

[urielisms]

i feel like clavibitch vile going to mcdonalds would be a sight to see. there he is. the guy. walking into the restaurant. look at him go.

so he enters the restaurant, right? he immediately laments not going through the drive through like any sane person (peryite) would because there is a LINE.

now. how old clavicle deals with this? he doesnt wait. he puts on his fucking masque and confidently strides to the front of the line. of course hes stopped by some sort of mid-20s white guy that honestly looks like he goes to taco bell most of the time.

the guy calls paperclip bile an asshole for cutting and does what any rational person would do and punch vile right in the goddamn stomach

vile, being the paper-thin twink he is, hunches over and falls in pain. but not before sending that fucker to the fields of regret.

but now he's first in line. he can finally order. finally.

what does he order? a cheeseburger with only mayo, fries, and a large sprite.

and he waits at a table, ignoring the cacophony of old men having some sort of get together next to his table.

and then. THEN. finally. he gets his food.

he unwraps the burger and takes a bite...

they got his order wrong.

they got. his order wrong.

they *DARE* SCAM THE DAEDRIC PRINCE OF TWISTED WISHES AND DEALS???

then the mcdonalds implodes upon itself because vile decided to wreck it using his skaafin.