#crowley: wait this is the anti-christ? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

novthewolf · 11 months

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Two’s company, three’s a family - Part six

Summary : As a cupid, an angel of love, your mission was to make sure everyone was paired up with the right person. Yet you couldn’t get your two most ancient clients to finally end up together. And despite the 6,000 years spent on the case, you couldn’t bring yourself to give them up, oblivious to the reason…

Pairing : Aziraphale x Crowley / GN!Reader x Crowley / GN!Reader x Aziraphale (polyamorous relationship).

Parts : First - Previous - Next

Masterlist : Here

Warnings : foul language, car accident, broken bones, hurt Bentley, anxiety, nauseous reader, violent scene start at the ◇ (physical aggression, choking, non-con touching, death threat, withdrawal depiction) angst, slow burn, english isn’t my first language.

Words : +5,2k

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The night slowly fell on the tired English countryside. The sweet and warm temperature gently subsided to a more chilly atmosphere. Curled up against the right door, you slowly exhaled hot air against the window and drew a little heart among the mist. You smiled at your corniness.

"Hey ! You better not leave fingertips all over the window !" Crowley snarled in the front seat. The connection he seems to have with his car is almost frightening.

"Just focus on the road, and let me worry about entertaining your poor little bored car." You stuck out your tongue at him.

"Bored ? Alive, you mean ! If I left you and the Bentley alone, Hell knows how I would find the both of you."

"Aww, me as well ?" You cajoled in a fake-sweet tone.

"Sure, I couldn't do anything to you if you were already broken down to smithereens." He joked darkly, glancing your way and baring his teeth.

You gasped loudly and put your hand on your chest.

"You wouldn't dare..."

Aziraphale chuckled lightly and shook his head. He kept looking around outside, as if waiting for the anti-Christ to pop out of nowhere.

"I could and I would, sweetheart." The demon boasted with his raspy voice, now focusing on the road.

You laughed breathlessly in disbelief, already coming up with a comeback. However, a sudden wave of unexpected smell appeared to your little nose.

"Woah..." You inhaled loudly, enjoying the smell. Gosebumps pigmented the exposed skin of your left arm. It wasn't the first one, but it has never been so strong. You straightened up and scooted over to Aziraphale.

"Did you feel that ?" Not only do other angels not smell emotions, but love has a very specific flavour for everyone. Well, maybe it was generic for every cupid, but you never dared to ask.

"Yes, there's a very peculiar feeling to this whole area."

"Really ? I didn't notice anything in particular." Crowley shrugged.

"I'm astonished you can't feel it."

"I don't feel anything out of the ordinary." He insisted, dismissing your whole debate.

Aziraphale obviously didn't understand the feeling right away, so you just have to play dumb until then. Your eyes catch a glimpse of a silhouette in the forest. Probably a deer or another big animal.

"Mmh..-"

"Love !" Aziraphale exclaimed joyfully. Your ears peaked at the familiarity of the word, while pink coloured the thin skin. Your nostrils flared, and you caught the distinct smell of macarons and rosé. Crowley was as flustered as you were apparently.

"Flashes of love" He turned your way for confirmation, nodding quickly. You mimicked his movements before gazing back into the dark. The deer you remember shouldn’t technically be capable of producing any light...

"Guys-" You started urgently, clueing yourself to the window, trying to see if what you saw was human.

"You're being ridiculous." Crowley claimed through gritted teeth. You moved back to the middle when you couldn't see the light anymore.

"The last thing we need right now is..."

Crowley's reflection was cut short as the Bentley got hit by someone. The force of the shock made the whole structure tremble. You desperately hung yourself on Aziraphale's seat and the angel himself. Crowley's hand smacked to the left dashboard in front of the two of you in a reflex. Nobody moved for a few seconds.

"You hit someone." The angel observed, fixed.

"No, I didn't. Someone hit me." Crowley defended himself, looking over your way. You grabbed Aziraphale's shoulder and pulled yourself up.

"Let's see." You said your face was sombre.

The night was fully settled now; it was really hard to see anything. The leaves crunched under your feet as you felt Aziraphale join you. The angel then snapped his finger to identify the groaning form.

"Let there be light."

Your eyes squinted at the sudden light. Mmph. The animal you thought you saw was actually a young woman and a poor, injured bicycle. She was alive, proven by the complaints she made, so that was a relief. Alive and conscious, mind you.

"How the hell did you do that ?" She groaned, though she couldn't move. You looked over at Crowley with a clenched jaw. He looked at you in a lighthearted way before snapping the light away. The Bentley shone with a single headlight and looked quite banged up.

"I think I hit my head..." The weak voice called you back, and you hurried yourself towards the poor thing. You squatted down and looked over for any injuries. And apparently, everyone around the world seems to have very fragile wrists. You saw Aziraphale follow your lead and check if her legs got hurt too. Gently, you caressed the broken bones away.

"There are no broken bones." You whispered to hide the cracking bones. You shared a look with Aziraphale, who simply smiled, assuring you that's everything you needed to heal. As for Crowley, he carefully rotated around his car, fixing the broken headlight and popping the metal back into place. Slowly, she got up, resting against you for support.

"My bike," she croaked. Aziraphale went to get the bike and winced at its state. He miraculed it bettter and rolled it to her.

"Amazingly resilient, these old machines." You wondered if he was actually able to charm humans too. Or at least he tried, because the girl was nothing but wary as she put her glasses back on her nose.

"Where do you need to go ?" He asked nicely. You offered her a smile, which did nothing to comfort her either.

"No, no, we're not giving her a lift." Crowley interjected rudely. He wasn't very keen on letting strangers into his precious Bentley. You glared at him to encourage him to be more pleasant.

"Out of the question." He didn't back down but preferred to turn his attention towards Aziraphale. "There's nowhere to put the bike."

"Except for the bike rack." He stated it matter-of-factly. At the same time, you heard metal forming at the back of a car. You flashed the demon a satisfied smile.

"Ah, silly you..."

Crowley just mockingly smiled at you before rolling his eyes.

"Do get in, my dear." Aziraphale smiled sweetly at her, ignoring Crowley. Who held the door open for her, surprisingly. He silently insisted that she should settle on the left side, behind Aziraphale. That is why, now, you could smell how tense he was since you were right behind his seat. He probably didn't want someone he didn't know behind him. But you sure hope it doesn't rub off on you.

The young woman was like a frightened little animal, looking around the car, which behaved for once (until it started to blast Bicycle Race on the way), and she recently started to shoot cautionary glances towards you. You could understand, you were the closest after all. And since she started, you have seen Aziraphale look regularly in the rear mirror in your direction. You sighed, trying to focus on the music playing and observing the woman in the corner of your eye.

Her dress made you curious; not a lot of people dress this way nowadays. Her hairstyle amused you too; you had to restrain yourself from buzzing her hair bun. You smirked at the thought.

"Listen, my bike didn't have gears." She suddenly spoke up, her accent thick. It didn't bother you that much; you were just more used to fancy British accents. You violently crunched your nose at the smell of star anise. A small giggle tried to escape your lips at the angel's embarrassment.

"I know my back didn't have gears." She insisted. You decided to tease Aziraphale just a little bit.

"Oh, really ? How odd..." You fakely wondered. The silence was so loud when the angel slightly turned his head, not pleased at all by your amazing sense of humor.

"Oh Lord, heal this bike.." Crowley joined silently. You looked at him in the mirror, and you shared an amused look. Aziraphale tsked quietly before whispering.

"I got carried away."

"Oh, you can drop me off here." She pressed, scooting away from you. Crowley huffed while pulling over and rolled his eyes. Once the motor stopped, she almost bolted out of the car. You still got out too, just to make sure she was alright. Aziraphale was already outside, taking the bike down.

"And look, no gears." He smiled, dropping the bicycle against the gate. The young woman looked so confused, and you inhaled the sugary custard smell. "Just a perfectly normal velocipede."

"Bicycle." Crowley corrected; he was growing impatient by the second. Aziraphale was still tensed, and you were still guilty. But she seemed okay...

"Can we get on, angel ?" Aziraphale nodded in agreement and left the woman with a small good-bye. You still stood there, worried for her, scratching your arm.

"C'mon, get in, sweetheart." His voice had softened, and it comforted you. You stroked your arm to soothe the itching skin. The young American didn't smell so scared anymore. You bowed your head goodnight and joined them in your backseat.

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"I swear, Americans are so confusing." Crowley mumbled.

"You liked America." Aziraphale tried to cajole.

"No, I liked their messed-up crossroads." He smirked. Crowley truly had a weird thing for car-related matters. You were now sitting against the right door, watching through the opposite window. Yes, your feet were on the leather, and yes, your shoes were clean. However, it never seemed to bother the demon, even when you lied down.

Aziraphale looked back at you for support against his cynicism. You laughed lightheartedly, and the angel did the same. You really loved his smile, how his cheekbones would take on a redish colour, and how squizable they looked.

Wholesome moments like those made you forget that Love was disappearing from the world. However, humans always had a way to remind you of these kinds of things.

"Rah, come on... How bad can you drive ?" Crowley exclaimed.

"Oh dear..."

It was a car crash; it didn't look deadly and didn't seem to have any casualties. But... the air suddenly felt heavy, and the taste of blood seeped through your taste buds. You knew what followed next, and you were not quick enough to protect yourself from the smell—the smell of corpses and mold. It clawed at your throat, pulling at the darkest part of your soul.

Hate.

You gagged on nothing. Yet you couldn’t pull away from the sight. Not out of morbid curiosity, but because your eyes and your heart caught a glimpse of the thing you feared the most.

You thought they weren't supposed to rise yet...

Your breath hitched in your lungs, your heart sinking, down, down your chest. No, fuck, no. Your hands latched onto the fabric of your pants. Among the car debris and shattered glass stood the root of your broken heart. His hair is still grey, and his eyes are still as piercing as a hawk. And he stared right at you with those very eyes. And she smiled with that wicked look. And... moved your way.

"Please, please, let's get out of here." You didn't even recognise your own choking voice.

"Y/N ?" Aziraphale was worried and tried to see what horrified you so much. You couldn't focus on his voice.

Suddenly, your heart compressed violently, and your legs tensed up, ready to sprint back to heaven. With cold sweat and tremors rocking your entire body, you felt utterly empty. Your blood boiled right underneath the surface, ready to explode from the inside. And yet you felt... nothing. And that scared you more than seeing him could ever do. You needed love. You had to go back to heaven. You couldn't wait any longer.

"Y/N ? What's happening?" Aziraphale asked louder.

"I-I guess... it's just stress. Plus, I'm, uh... I'm hungry !"

"Oh, Satan, don't scare me like that." Crowley sighed, rubbing a hand on his face.

You laughed nervously. You couldn't stop looking back at the scene. But he wasn't there anymore. The skin on your chest stretched, seeking something you would never find anywhere again. A bound you will never have. You rested your head on the cold window.

"Let's stop somewhere." The angel suggested watching over you with sad eyes. You felt a protective force envelop you—a guardian angel's power.

"That'd be great; thank you." You were so grateful to have him. Well, both of them.

Luckily, a small dinner was open at such late hours, allowing you to replace the emptiness with food. More precisely, a sandwich, while Aziraphale preferred something sweeter. You felt a little better, but you still had to take some deep breaths from time to time. The atmosphere wasn't very light, as you could smell the snowy nights on both of them, clearly worried about their lack of trail. So eventually the topic was brought back again.

"Mmh... You know, we might get another human to find him." Aziraphale started first, still munching on his little cake.

Crowley, still focused on both of your foods, didn't register immediately. You always wondered why he didn't buy any dishes too if he was so transcended on how much food you two ate.

"What ?" he asked, deadpan.

"Humans are good at finding other humans. They've been doing it for thousands of years." Aziraphale stated.

"True, plus, the child is partly human. They might be able to sense him." You agreed, biting a chuck of your bread and ham.

"He's the Antichrist. He's got an automatic defence thingy." Azirphale hummed at that. "Suspicion slies off him like... whatever it is water slides off." He waved off.

"Rocks ?" You offered.

"No, not rocks..."

"Got any better ideas ? Or one single, better idea?" The sarcasm was strong in this one. You shook your head with a laugh. You couldn't see Crowley's eyes, but you knew he was nearing exasperation. Aziraphale simply wiped his lips with a napkin once he was finished. You swallowed the last bite, feeling a little bit better.

"Maybe we should head back..." You stretched your right shoulder and got up.

"You sure ?" Crowley asked. You simply hummed and had already made your way to the car. The reflection of the glass door shows you the shared look on Aziraphale and Crowley's faces. Your heart still ached, and your arm still burned. Your need for love—well, your addiction—was growing more and more hurtful by the minute.

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Mind clouded by a heavy fog, you lied on the backseat, not sure how long the drive was. You had dazed off the conversation, only hearing a ringing sound. It was frustrating, but you held on to it. You held on to any emotions now, to any remaining Love. You didn't know you would react so strongly; maybe it was due to your trip to that Tadfield village, but it was like the withdrawal was ten times stronger than expected.

You groaned as nausea overtook you once more. Turning over to face the road, you felt your right arm fall down, not touching the floor. Eyes closed, to minimise the gagging, you felt something touch your hand. In your state, you couldn't help but flinch away from the touch. But when you opened your eyes, you simply saw your hand first. As your vision lost its blur, you recognised the pale skin of Aziraphale's own hand. It stopped moving the moment you flinched but remained reached out. You felt your heartbeat heat up, your lips twitching in a shy smile. You took his offered hand in your own, caressing his soft fingers.

You hummed softly, enjoying the new-found heat. Things got even better when you saw Crowley's movements through your half-opened eyes. His hand settled down on your upper-arm and gently pat it up and down with care. Your scarred arm... But you weren't scared. And taht actually surprised you. A demon was once again touching your arm, and yet you knew he wouldn't hurt you. Neither of them would. And being certain of this made you feel so good. So secure. Even... Heh. No. Not loved. Maybe appreciated at best. Still, you basked in their affection, taking in every sensation the moment had to offer.

They continued to talk, and you continued to not listen to a single thing they said. Suddenly, you thought of something and couldn't help but giggle in a sleepy tone. Darting your eyes up, you saw Aziraphale's arched brow and curious smile.

"Ducks..."

"What about ducks ?" Aziraphale asked, ever so confused.

"They're what water slides off..." You giggled once more.

"Oh, that's right !" Crowley exclaimed as he put his hands back on the wheel.

"Just drive the car, please." The angel laughed, even if he tried to hide it.

Finally, you three entered the city. You let go of Aziraphale's hand and slowly sat up. Yeah, you still wanted to barf, though. Thankfully, you saw Crowley outside, ready to help you out of the Bentley. The door opened, but you felt something hit your foot on the car floor.

"You know, if you lined up everyone in the whole world and asked them to describe the Velvet Underground, nobody at all would say 'bepop'" You heard the demon nagging at the angel. The thing was a book, apparently about prophecies. Maybe Aziraphale would know what it was about.

"Say," you started while accepting Crowley's help. "Does it belong to any of you?"

"Nah, I don't read books." The red hair dismissed. He had crossed his arms on the roof and passed the book to Aziraphale as you handed it to him.

"It has to belong to the young lady you hit with the car." He scolded. He inspected the book, and the title immediately reminded him of something.

"I'm in enough trouble as it is. I'm not going to start returning lost property. That's what your lot do." Crowley huffed. You had to agree with him; you had your fair share of trouble too.

"We can always send it back to the Tadfield post office addressed to a witchy American woman." You jested through the dizziness. However, Aziraphale's reaction seemed quite disproportionate. Don't get me wrong; you would have loved to smell such jubilation if you were in a good mood. But now, the mix of lime and ladyfingers was kind of sickening.

"Oh ! Mh.. yes, jolly good ! Rather.."

"What is it ?" You asked in a more rude tone than you intended, but your temples were killing you, and no amount of massage could make it better.

"Just... mh..."

"Should we both contact our respective human operatives, then ?" Crowley was as disoriented as you, visibly worried and intrigued.

"All right." The angel was already walking away, crossing the slippery road to the other side, almost falling down.

"Are you alright ?"

"Perfectly yes. Uh, tip top !" Crowley and you comically followed the angel's movement. You would have laughed if it didn't mean feeling like you're dying from drowning.

"Absolutely tickety-boo !" He exclaimed finally, closing the door in a loud noise.

"Tickety-boo ?"

Crowley's question was directed to you, but you couldn't answer. That's it; you were going to pass out in any minute now.

"Y/N ?"

Sorry, Crowley, but if I open my mouth right now, you will strongly regret it.

"Do you want a lift?" His nonchalant tone sounded like a sham, but his hand on yours felt so genuine. You nodded, looking probably more grey than usual.

"Okay..."

Thankfully, you were able to settle down on your own easily. Maybe too easily, the Bentley propably pulled the seat out a little bit more than usual. Crowley drove as slowly as he could bear to your house in Brentford and helped you out to your doorstep.

"What's going on, Y/N ?"

Your pleading eyes met his own, yellow and troubled, darkened by his sunglasses. The last thing you wanted was to worry them, especially if it kept them apart. You sighed and looked away. Crowley would have probably followed Aziraphale into the bookshop to plan what they would do next. And now there he was, helping your addict ass, while Aziraphale had to do everything on his own. Oh, you were just a burden, weren't you ? But, oh, when he pleaded with such eyes, how could you want to keep secrets ?

"It's nothing, Crowley, just stress. But... It's true that... Heaven has been calling me back for the war." The demon tensed up, but let you continue. "And just... the simple thought of fighting you... i-it's hard." You teared up through your embarrassment. Emotions were spilled out on their own.

"We won't have to fight the war." He stated.

"Mmph, sure."

"No, we don't have to." Crowley articulated, grabbing your shoulders tightly. "If we can't prevent Armaggedon, there's no way in hell I'm going to stand there and watch the earth blow up." He growled.

"I... I can't just run away like you. I couldn't..." You choked on your own breath.

"But why, Y/N ?" His hands fell back beside his legs.

"I'm going to rest; I'll see you tomorrow, I promise." You hurried to slip into your house, desperately trying to flee the conversation. It took some minutes before you heard the red-haired man sigh and make his way back to his car. Hear still pressed against the wood of the door; you didn't notice Eden walking up to you. You gasped loudly, your hand flying to your bomb-like heart.

"Oh, hi baby..." You patted her head before freezing for an instant. Will she become aggressive now that love is evaporating from Earth? However, all she did was lick your hand and moo when you didn't pet her. You were surprised, but so relieved. Tears rolled down your cheeks, and you fell on your knees, hugging her. You rubbed your face on her soft fur; the texture relaxed your nerves.

Once you calmed down, you led your mini-cow back to her half of the house, which was basically a huge valley—a generous gift from Crowley. You fed her a big bucket of alfalfa, and she mooed in pure happiness.

...

Armaggedon means Eden's wouldn't be there anymore... It means nothing will remain. You had to hide her somewhere safe, where she would continue to be happy and eat grass all day. But what would happen if you did have to fight in the war ? What would become of Aziraphale, you, and Crowley ?

Would you lose them too ?

Not ready to face the harsh truth of your world, you kissed your baby's forehead and left her to her blissful ignorance.

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◇

The house was quiet, disturbed by the endless roaming and faint sounds of the wind. You couldn't sleep; you couldn’t get your head out of your thoughts. Where is that damn anti-Christ ? Where would Eden be the safest ? What was he doing here ? The last thing you wanted was to think of him; you always felt like you were about to faint. Or die on the spot. The white light of the moon shone through your living room, where he finally sat. You held your head in your hands, trying to hang your worries out of your brain.

You were just tired, and even if you knew sleep would certainly stand you up, you still wanted to try. The corridor was cold. Well, it could be cold, but it shouldn't be that cold. You felt the hair on your body bristle, and you realised something. Staring into the dark ahead of you, you knew there was someone there. And they stinked. A mix of anger, fear, jealousy, and hate. Imagine smelling naga viper, ice, moisture, burned meat, wine, corpses, and mold all together in one single wave. Someone was sending it to you. Stealthy, you tried to escape.

It wouldn't be him... It couldn't be him...

It was, sadly, a vain attempt. The thing jumped at you and pinned you down by the throat. It was choking you, stealing every breath you tried to take. Love was being sucked right out of your heart. You fought the creature, beating, biting, and clawing any skin you could reach. The green flesh was slimy, like hot bread dough trickling against your palms. You were growing weaker, and nothing you did helped. The creature suddenly showed you who he was.

Him...

"Y-Ystran..." You gagged.

Your chest swelled up, stirring your heart out to grab him. There he was. The one you were meant to be with Your bounded. Ystran, a hate demon. Your scarred arm burned and spasmed in recognition of its attacker. His lanky form overshadowed yours as he lowered towards your neck, his sharp teeth ready to bite off your throat. You whimpered and cowardly walked away from his touch.

"Hello there, Y/N... it's been so long..." he muttered. His voice was similar to the cold wind of an autumnal fog, where you could get lost in a matter of seconds. You didn't want him to touch you or be anywhere near you. Thankfully, he let go of your throat and instead slammed his decaying hand right into your stuttered heart. You screamed at the pain. It weighed too much, like dropping a thousand rocks on your chest; the pressure was killing you.

"Aw, it hurts, doesn't it ? You never thought someone you trusted so much would destroy you this way." Ystran mocked you, sniffing your neck to enjoy the sweet terror he brought you. His dry and long grey hair tickled your sore throat, and you considered pulling on it as hard as you could. Then, his hands started to slowly creep up on your chest, groping your flesh to get to your heart. You growled.

"Get your fucking hands off me !"

"But why..? You're mine, did you forget that ?" He licked your neck with his filthy, raspy, feline-like tongue, grazing his teeth on your fragile skin. The corners of his mouth stuck together, so that when they parted, the skin of his lips would strech too, with the most disgusting sound.

Alright stomach, if you wanted to barf, it's the moment.

You kicked him hysterically, wailing and yelling. "Let go of me ! Don't fucking touch me, you damn psychopath !" You charged a heart-shock wave and attacked your body.

Despite how much he tried, he couldn't hold on to you, even if your attack was weak. You dashed towards Eden's room to lock yourself in, but Ystran was quicker. He jumped at your legs and started punching your stomach.

"No, no, you're not cutting me out this time." Your heart tattled while he climbed on top of you, his flabby legs locking on your own. His hands grabbed your wrists and held them above your head. You coughed and spit at his face, but all he did was gently caress your damaged arm.

"Oh, I'm so glad you still carry such a tender memory of me..." His twisted smile repulsed you, and you tried to free yourself, to no avail. "I'm always with you, in a way."

You were dizzy. Ystran had kept draining your love and life force with a sadistic lust. Tremors racked up your body, and black silhouettes wobbled in the corner of your eye. And you craved and yearned for love. You tried to moisten your dried lips, tasting the air for a fragment of your desperately needed drug. Heaven called you, the bound was untied, and love remained solely in Paradise or in the minds of mad men.

"Oh geez... How could I have overestimated how much love you stocked ? Obviously, I should have known better !" Ystran hooted. "Silly me..." His claws came out of his hands, and your eyes focused on them.

Suddenly, you saw the demon's arm coming down on you, ready to slash your throat. And yet, all you could think about was that you would never see Aziraphale and Crowley again. And you, poor little Eden...

You didn't want to go...

You still wanted to see Aziraphale smile, thanks to your dessert. You wanted to hear Crowley's smile in his voice when he taught you about stars. You still wanted to spend unnecessary time with them, drinking, pampering Eden, discovering music together... And you never accepted to go dine with them, no matter how many times they asked; you just didn't understand why they even asked. Nor why you couldn't let them go. Well, I guess you won't even have time to find out.

And when you felt his hand's weight approach your face, the faint sound of your friends' names threatened to escape the barrier of your aching heart. But his claws never ripped your skin. Instead, the strident sound of the impact thundered in your ear, where it landed.

"Now, you listen to me, Y/N. You're going to go back to heaven, eat up all the love you can get your fucking hands on, and you're going to go fight in that damn war !" He roared and shook your frozen body. "But you better stay alive... Oh, no, you don't get killed unless it's me ! You're mine ! Mine to kill, mine to own !" Ystran slapped you across the face. The pounding in your head became unbearable, but all you could see was madness.

What were you going to do ?

You sobbed and closed your eyes once again, escaping into the darkness and just wishing that the nightmare was a dream. He left your body, getting up and staring at you with bare emptiness. You didn't want to see him; you wanted him to just leave you alone.

But Ystran had never been a merciful being. He kicked your pathetic weeping form in the side. You screeched yet, and you couldn't fight back. Maybe you just deserved it... Curling up into a miserable ball, weak and tired, you just waited for it to end. Ystran squatted down one last time to give you the smallest kiss on your cheek.

"See you soon, love."

He left. You knew he did. But you couldn't convince yourself that things would be better. Everything in your life will always remind you of what you've done. You cannot be forgiven, now can you ? Not after throwing away the only person who would ever love you. And for what ? Stay in Heaven ? Sure, look what he gave you: humour, isolements, and mockeries. You hugged yourself, unable to get up.

You kept looking. Searching in your memories where love could be Had it ever existed ? Had it always been a charade all these years ? Maybe you were just an empty, apathetic shell after all. A stupid cupid who couldn't even heal their own bound. You had it coming all those years. Fooling yourself with fake emotions and sensations. Everything you ever felt was just a fucking lie that you kept telling yourself to feel better. To keep going.

Not everything... A small voice whispered in the back of your head, despite your ragged breath.

When ? When did you truly ever feel anything ? Have you ever really felt Love ? Tears continued to roll down your cheeks, and your whole body trembled with fear, sadness, and desperation. But your heart seeked in your mind, searching for a memory, a crumb of love.

Anything.

And slowly, flashes of the past started flocking in front of your eyes while you stared at the dull ceiling.

Love ? Have you ever really felt Love ?

◇

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I think I'm going to start a new hashtag : "Save Y/N|Balael", it seems about right x)

Hello everyone ! It's been a while, hasn't it ? I'm sorry about that ^^" I really didn't mean to leave that long, but life is like that sometimes.

This chapter was bit darker than I intented it to be at first, but I hope it turned out ok.

I hope you still enjoyed it though ! Don't hesitate to comment or ask anything; it always makes me so happy to read you all ^^

Be ready for the next chapter : we will be deep-diving into the trio's common past ;)

Bye bye!

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#aziraphale x reader x crowley #crowley x reader x aziraphale #twoscompanythreesafamily #good omens #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #aziraphale x reader #crowley x reader #good omens s2 #ineffable husbands #david tennant #micheal sheen #neil gaiman

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darkhighness · 1 year

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Good Omentober Day 5 - Heaven

Prompt by @disaster-dog

Heaven isn't all it's cracked up to be and Aziraphale is struggling to reconcile with everything he had to let go of to be where he is now.

Heaven was the pinnacle of perfection. Everything was always spotless and white and clean.

Clinical, was the word that came to mind.

Aziraphale hated it. Earth had taught him many things, especially the beauty that comes from a space. Any individual item can tell a story and can hold centuries of memories. The bookshop, for example, had become a collage of his time on earth.

This however was entirely unwelcome. He hated the emptiness. He was told they had most important business to attend to though so he was waiting rather childishly for the archangels to guide him further.

An angel he didn’t recognise came to retrieve him, however. They were bright and bubbly, similar to Muriel, he noted and they were carrying around a clipboard.

“Archangel Aziraphale, just the angel I needed to see!” They chirped, before pulling out a long illuminated measuring tape. They began to take measurements of his legs, his arms and his shoulders, simply reading the tape, humming and scribbling something down.

“Oh dear, that’s not necessary. I can just change if it’s a problem.” Aziraphale smiled before miracling him a perfectly fitting suit in a pale blue colour, the tan patterned shirt barely peeking out from underneath.

The other angel was stunned before they nodded softly and stepped back. “Apologies, the others just asked to make sure you were ready.” They sent off the clipboard and inspected the angel closely making sure he didn’t need anything else. “Well if you’re all ready then Supreme Archangel, I best not be in your way!”

Aziraphale stopped the angel politely before they zipped off, “Your name, dear?”

“Oh, it’s Asuriel!” They stammered nervously before they left to fulfil another duty.

Aziraphale would never get used to being intimidating. It was never a word that would have been used to describe him before and he wasn’t entirely sure he’d get used to it. It was much more Crowley’s style.

Before he could spend too long fixated on the demon, however, the other archangels approached with scrolls in hand and an undoubtedly serious look on their faces.

“Aziraphale.” Michael nodded towards him with absolutely no emotion in their voice.

It still sent a shiver down his spine, like he was some child being talked down to. These were his equals for goodness sake!

“We’ve just gotten the plans for the Second Coming. I imagine that you’ve already read through them all.” Uriel clarified, opening up one of the scrolls before presenting it to Aziraphale.

He returned with a smile, trying to break the icy exterior of his companions. “I have, yes. It all seems a bit soon though, doesn’t it? I mean it wasn’t that long ago we were worried about the Anti-Christ.”

“We need to catch the demons off guard, Aziraphale.” Michael retorted blankly, a hint of frustration leaking into their tone, “And it will take a long time to get everything into action.”

Aziraphale nodded, once again skimming over the scroll laid out in front of him. “I suppose if this was always her plan…”

“Of course it was.” Uriel responded, snapping the scroll shut, “We just need your help to find the best course of action. No one knows Earth like you, supposedly.”

“Yes of course,” Aziraphale affirmed.

He knew that this was what he agreed to when he took the position but part of him hoped it wouldn’t be so damning for the humans he’d grown to love so much. The plan, starting now would see signs all around the globe to signify the Second Coming. Aziraphale was in half a mind to only affect areas that no one inhabited; oceans, deserts and the like.

“In some ways, they’ve been rather helpful down below. A few of their demons had already planted the seeds of destruction that will bring forth a mighty war and we have had little intervention.” Saraqael grinned.

“Oh, I really don’t believe that’s the case. Humans cause wars, not demons.” Aziraphale murmured half-heartedly.

“You of all people, Aziraphale, should know about embellishing stories to your superiors.” Michael jabbed.

Aziraphale felt his heart drop and in that moment he began to realise the scope Heaven had in all of this mess. He’d heard rumours of angels influencing people’s faith, causing religious uprisings and unrest but that had always been explained away as a mistake. Usually, he would be on Earth able to reduce the harm of such cruel destruction in what little ways he could but he knew for this one, he was stuck firmly here, in this white prison.

“Do we really need all this destruction?” Aziraphale proposed weakly, “I mean, earthquakes, famine? Thousands of people will die.”

“It’s a test, Aziraphale. Nothing good comes without sacrifice.”

Sacrifice was something the angel had become more than acquainted with recently. It felt like every turn he had to give up some new part of himself. He sacrificed his home on earth, the perfectly curated bookshop. He sacrificed his new lovely human friends, Maggie, Nina, Anathema and Newt. He sacrificed all the amazing food he’d grown to love. His heart couldn’t bear to think of his biggest sacrifice.

Sometimes, when he closed his eyes he’d see the golden eyes staring back at him. He would feel the sensation of snakes worming their way around his body and what used to be a comfort just felt like torment.

“Of course, I just worry the Almighty might mourn her creations.” Aziraphale quickly tried to explain away his apprehension before mindlessly fidgeting with the cufflinks on his shirt.

“This has been her plan all along Aziraphale. I would hate the think you were questioning the ineffable plan.” Uriel bellowed.

They hadn’t been all that loud in actuality, but Aziraphale felt the voice echoing inside his head, bouncing around to plant seeds of doubt in his faith.

“No, not at all.” He smiled. Anyone who truly knew Aziraphale could’ve seen the fakeness of his smile. They’d notice that the usual twinkle in his eyes was absent or how the fine lines that came with pure joy were mysteriously missing. It was the last line of defence Aziraphale had between his thoughts and his reality.

#good omentober #good omens #aziracrow #angel #aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #good omens 2 #ineffable idiots #ineffable husbands #ineffable divorce #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction

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dietraumerei · 1 year

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EPISODE 6

I do and do not want to watch this so bad

battery-powered candles!

crowley's gd slides what the fuck

i would die for maggie

so has shax never met someone clinically depressed or a boomer mom or....?

it is so easy to forget that aziraphale is really, really scary

SORRY BRIEF PAUSE FOR MORE [REDACTED] GOSSIP THE WILDEST GOSSIP EVARRRRR

wait I want a job where I can just chill in an office and only do something once every few hundred years muriel where do i sign up

crowley's gold tooth and lil alice band. i die. i dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

(i am already dying from the redacted gossip)

i love nina and maggie SO MUCH, and all the fire extiguishers, I cry

tbf he kind of is crowley's emotional support angel except I'm not conviced of how much support he's been offering lately, or vice-versa. The anti-christ changes things horribly.

honestly I know he's an Oxfordian and thus my sworn enemy, but I am *always* really happy to see Derek Jacobi

honestly the bookshop is really wonderfully defensible, this is neat.

Aziraphale's halo is always on him, within him. I am not ok.

ok maybe it's the wine but the shot of everyone in the lift is HILARIOUS

i want a show that's just saraquel being cranky this is great

jesus fuck, that was some body horror!!!! i loved it.

hm. an attempt at retaining the status quo. HM.

ok this romantic speedrun is adorable

Aziraphale grabbing Crowley's arm is now a good 50-60% of my personality.

I think Michael and I rolled our eyes at the same time

wait why do i want to cry

why did my heart melt

i want to cry they ran away *they got to run away* but that doesn't *solve* anything but it's their joy and I'm so mad and sad and they love each other and it's so sweet.

god I love Derek Jacobi I ought to look up some old Cadfael episodes, what a man

angels - obsessed with if they've done anything wrong. Aziraphale's mostly past it, but not entirely....

oh this is the scariest moment in the whole show, this little stroll. the metatron is...very good at this

they've not had any us time in ages, have they? no breakfasts at the Ritz, nor dinners neither....

the soft almost pastoral motif from season one, but deeper, and of course without the happy ending.

Crowley getting a lesson on talking about feelings from a pair of lesbians is all I have ever wanted in this world.

AZIRAPHALE SHUT UP I'M GOING TO DIE

THE LESBIANS WORKED CROWLEY WAS GOING TO OPEN HIS HEART

(so this is not really the time either but you can tell a bit what was filmed when bc Michael's roots start to show)

i'm not going to lie, the Metatron would work on me

well.

usually i have to re-read Lord of the Rings to discover 4 new stages of grief and 7 new emotions.

#good omens season 2 spoilers #whoops wrong tag there #die traumerei liveblog #it's not really a liveblog it's me nattering on but I decided I wanted to tag these

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joshua-flipping-washington · 11 months

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A Good Day For Magic

Crowley and Aziraphale sit on a bench overlooking a park filled with dinosaurs, the one's that humans have yet to realize were a complete joke and had never existed in the first place. Just another one of the Almighty's little games. But humans were clever, they'd eventually figure it out. They were constantly learning, building, changing and growing as the years stretched on.

Below them walked Warlock and his mother Harriet, she was pointing out the dinosaurs, and seemed to be talking to him in a sort of excitement of her own about something, and the boy seemed to be only half listening, as if he wasn't too interested in what she was speaking to him about. Perhaps, even rather annoyed, could be used to describe the expression on his face, Aziraphale thought.

Crowley's arms are crossed over his chest, and though he speaks, he doesn't turn his head to look at Aziraphale. " Well, we've done everything we can. All we can do now, is wait for his birthday. The Hell Hound will be key. Shows up at three on Wednesday. "

Aziraphale had been inclined to just nod along as Crowley spoke, in complete agreement with him, " Right. " Until he realized, that he couldn't recall there ever being a mention of there being a Hell Hound. " You've never actually mentioned a Hell Hound before. "

Crowley looked over at Aziraphale out of the corner of his eye, and gave a small nod of his head. He really hadn't been paying much attention when checking in with Hell throughout the last 11 years, and considering that Aziraphale and himself were trying to make sure Warlock was more human than anything, he hadn't thought much about Hell actually sending a Hell Hound, as he had some inkling of hope that they'd succeeded in making Warlock normal. " Oh yeah. Yeah, they're sending him a Hell Hound, to pad by his side and guard him from all harm. "

Aziraphale wasn't surprised that Hell had decided to send a creature such as a Hell Hound, he supposed it made sense that they'd want the Anti-christ to have all the protection he might possibly need. " Oh. "

" Biggest one they've got. " Crowley couldn't begin to imagine how long they'd been crafting the perfect Hell Hound, the demon's might be incompetent for the most part, but they knew how to do evil, even if it didn't seem like it at times.

Aziraphale's brows knit together as he thought, and he fidgeted with his hands, twisting his ring around his finger before opening his mouth to speak. " Well... Won't people remark upon the sudden appearance of a huge black dog? His parents, for start? "

Crowley set his jaw, his lips pulling into a thin line for a moment. " No one will notice anything. It's reality, angel. " The demon straightens up his posture, gaze flicking back down to Warlock. " And young Warlock can do what he likes with that, whether he knows it or not. It's the start of it all. The boys meant to name it. Um... " He pauses for a brief moment, to think up evil sounding names the Anti-christ might give his Hellish companion, should he name it. " Stalks by Night, Throat-Ripper, er, something like that. "

He does a small hand gesture, but does not uncross his arms. " BUT, if you and I have done our jobs properly, then he'll send it away unnamed. "The angel does his best not to let himself feel too anxious, now was certainly NOT the time. " But what if he DOES name it? "

Crowley finally turns his torso and faces Aziraphale, his expression is unreadable for a moment, before Aziraphale registers it as something akin to, perhaps fear? But it was always so hard to tell with the shades. " Then you and I will have lost, he'll have all his powers, and Armageddon will be days away. "

Aziraphale rubs his hands over the tops of his thighs, already able to feel the anxiety bubbling in his chest, there had to be something they could do. Someway to prevent Armageddon from starting in the first place. " There must be some way of stopping it. "

Crowley's brows drew tightly together for a moment, before they shot up as he thought of something, he leaned back against the back of the bench more, lips slightly pursed as he proposed. " If there was no boy... Then the process would stop. "

Aziraphale looked mildly perturbed, before he gestured down to where Warlock was huddled over a sign depicting the description of a dinosaur, an uncapped marker in his hand. " Yes, but there is a boy. He's right there, writing a rude word on a description of a dinosaur. "

Crowley tilted his head slightly, his mind working as he continued to try and get his point across to the angel. " Well, there is a boy NOW. That could change. Something could happen to him. " When the demon noticed that Aziraphale still didn't seem to understand what he was implying, he finally just blunty said. " I'm saying that you could kill him. "

Aziraphale's blue eyes widened at Crowley's suggestion, and he felt rather sick at the thought, and he couldn't tell if it was just because they'd helped raise Warlock, or because he was a still a child, Anti-christ or not. " I've never actually... Killed anything before. I don't think that I could. "

Crowley wasn't happy with it either, he loved the kid, enjoyed the years spent watching him grow up. Made him feel human. But one life, against all the other humans on earth- " Not even to save everything? One life... Against the universe. "

Aziraphale knew that this wasn't going to do, they didn't know if Warlock was even going to name the dog to begin with. It would only make sense if they were to attend his birthday party, and be there when the beast arrives. The gears in his mind immediately started to turn. " Then, this Hell Hound, it'll show up at his birthday party? "

Crowley's brow is arched in questioning for a moment, though when he speaks it's not poised as such. " Yeah. " What was going through Aziraphale's mind now?

Aziraphale is practically wiggling in excitement beside him, as he begins- " Well, then we should be there. Maybe I can stop the dog. In fact, I can entertain. "

Crowley's eyes widened, and he gives a firm shake of his head, his lip pulling back in a grimace. No he wasn't about to suggest- " No no no, please no. NO. "Aziraphale is already excitedly gesturing, gestures he'd use during his magic acts. " I just need to get back into practice. " He flexes his hands, and pulls himself to his feet. He digs into one of his pockets, trying to locate a coin, his smile is bright as he goes about trying to preform the human magic.

Crowley outwardly groans. " Oh no, no, no. Don't do your magic act. Please. Please! " His eyes follow Aziraphale as he continues to attempt to do his trick. " I'm actually begging you here. You have no idea how demeaning that is. Please. " Aziraphale fumbles, and accidentally drops the coin. " In your finger. "

The smile is able to be heard in Aziraphale's voice as he speaks. " No, it was in your ear. "

The demon sets his shoulders, wondering why Aziraphale got so much joy out of human magic. " It was in your pocket. "

Aziraphale tightens the grip on the coin he'd picked up, making a point to show Crowley. " It was close to your ear. "

Crowley gives a slow shake of his head, uncrossing his arms. " Never anywhere near my ear. "

Aziraphale is still smiling, even as he goes to sit back down beside Crowley on the bench. " You're no fun. "

Crowley arches a brow as he stares at Aziraphale. " Fun? "

" Yes. " Responds Aziraphale matter-of-factly.

" It's humiliating. You can do proper magic. You can make things disappear. " Crowley had seen Aziraphale do his fair share of miracles, just to get what he wants. He wasn't sure why he wouldn't let go of the human magic. Especially after the miracle block in 1941, where Crowley had actually had to shoot the gun at Aziraphale with no safety net in place. It still gave him nightmares on occasion, it could have gone pear shaped in an instant.

Finally, Aziraphale adds with a sense of finality. " But it's not as fun. "

Crowley tossed his head back with a groan. " Make you disappear. " He murmured beneath his breath.

Wednesday, 2:30 PM. [ Warlock's 11th birthday party ]

It hadn't been too difficult to pull a few strings and get both of them inside the party, not when the Dowling's already had a whole slew of waiters and other forms of entertainment coming for Warlock's party, intending to make it nothing but perfect for their boy. Even though all he really wanted was to do something with his close friends. So it had been very easy for Aziraphale to just snap his fingers, and suddenly their original entertainment had mysteriously become double booked elsewhere.

Since Aziraphale had decided that he was going to do his magic act, even though Crowley had tried desperately to get him to just disguise as a caterer like he was, or pretend he was one of the party planners who were bound to be flitting about. But it was to no avail, didn't seem to matter how much Crowley begged or groaned, Aziraphale was dead set on preforming his favorite human magic tricks.They has both made it a point to get there early, and of course they'd made sure it wouldn't look suspicious at all. Crowley walked into the back garden with his arms full of Aziraphale's tricks, as well as his trusty old sign that advertised his show.

Mrs.Dowling had stopped him on his way in, looking a bit confused. " Aren't you one of the caterers? Do you know the magician? "Crowley gave a half shrug of his shoulders, trying to keep a grip on all the items he's carrying, he wouldn't hear the end of it from Aziraphale if he broke anything. " Erm, I guess you could say that. He's important to me, is all. And he needed a hand. " Mrs. Dowling let him go after that, immediately going to fuss about some other little detail she wanted to be perfect.

The demon brought the stuff under the large white tent where he'd been instructed, and he plopped it all down onto a table that was conveniently sitting there, but the sign he propped against the table. He knew better than to try and set anything up, Aziraphale was very particular about stuff like that.Crowley was about to go and take up his place when Aziraphale ducked underneath the canopy of the white tent.

He couldn't help but think of how silly he looked in his little get-up, but considering it's age- The outfit still looked just as it had during 1941. And seeing the bright smile on the angel's face, it made Crowley's heart skip a beat.

" Thank you very much, dear boy. You really didn't have to carry it all. " Aziraphale said with a soft smile, giving the demon's chest a gentle pat, before he moved to start getting his area set up and ready for his little show. Oh, he was so very excited to finally have a chance to try out his human magic again! It almost made him forget the reason why they were really here, almost.

Crowley's golden eyes widened behind his glasses, and his posture immediately went rigid as Aziraphale's hand made contact with his chest. How on earth had he been able to do that so casually!? " Er, don't mention it. " He held up his finger. " Seriously, don't. Just knew that it'd take you forever to get it all in here by yourself. Seems it's all about to get started. "

The other wait staff started to make their way out to the back garden, as the sound of children, and parents or guardians alike started to pour out into the garden. It was suddenly VERY loud as the children started laughing and talking, all crowding around Warlock as he walks out of the house.

Crowley's gaze drifted over to Warlock and his group of friends, it was crazy to think that they'd watched him grow up, and now look at him- Dammit, Crowley knew that he was attached, but it was going to make the moment Warlock would either name the Hell Hound or send it away unnamed so much emotional, and high stakes. He wasn't meant to get attached, he was a demon for someone's sake! His eyes flickered back to Aziraphale. " Better go and take my place, you've got this, right? "

Aziraphale had mastered getting his stage all set up, the few times he'd been able to have his own show, and share the wonders of human magic! So, of course he already had it all set up perfectly. He grins brightly at Crowley, and gives him a double thumbs up. " Oh, absolutely perfect, my dear. Go on. "

Crowley walks off to join the other cateres across the way under the canvas tent, wrinkling his nose at the immediate barrage of scents he was hit with. There were far too many cultures mixed in the menu that was prepared, and many of them did not work together. But the Americans always had been a bit weird about that.

It didn't take long for the party to get started, Crowley tried not to move around too much, focusing instead on keeping the food under the tent organized and handing the other caterers what they needed when they ran out. His eyes would keep flicking to the watch on his wrist, watching as the time ticked by, slowly counting down towards 3' o clock.

Aziraphale had been practically buzzing with excitement, barely able to contain how thrilled he was to finally be able to preform again. But imagine his disappointment when eleven year old children were not at all excited about magic like he'd have hoped. Especially when they started heckling him, and tittering amongst themselves as well as out loud.

Aziraphale did not let his smile falter, as he held up his wand and got his top hat set up just so on the collapsible table, a magician never revealed his secrets after all. And he had already accidentally fumbled a whole deck of cards out into the crowd of children. " And with a wave of my wand, look whose come to greet us! " He reaches his hands down inside the top hat, and carefully pulls out a white rabbit. " Why it's our old furry friend, Harry the rabbit! "

One of Warlock's friends looks over at him, as the rest collectively groan at the rabbit in a hat trick. " I thought that you said you were supposed to have a celebrity musician. " Warlock looked away from the musician holding the rabbit, and towards the girl. " Well, he said that he was. I heard my mom talking to him on the phone. " The little girl shook her head, meaning that she didn't think he was a celebrity musician. " I had Penn and Teller at my party, and I had a silent disco. And I got a- "

Warlock scrunched up his face, looking bored at the prospect of the magic tricks. Then he glanced back towards Aziraphale. " You're rubbish, the rabbit was inside of the table. I wanted to play laser tag. "

Another boy piped up after Warlock, agreeing with him. " He's right you know, you actually are rubbish. And probably a fag, you look the type, my dad would agree. "

Crowley's eyes flickered up from the watch he'd been staring down at, and his gaze zeroed in on the child who'd just called Aziraphale a not so kind word. Warlock had gotten that started, was it hopeless for the boy after all? No matter, Crowley might be a demon, but he wouldn't stand for letting some child call his only friend a nasty slur. Had they not raised Warlock right after all? He was laughing with his friends, could that all be the human peer-pressure, or was he really a lost cause?

Aziraphale was carefully holding onto Harry, his gaze flicking back and forth over the crowd of children. Oh, this was supposed to be just like riding a velocipede! It wasn't possible to forget, why did he always have an issue starting out? He loved slight of hand magic! But instead he was just getting heckled by a bunch of eleven year olds. What happened to the days where anyone would marvel at the joys of magic?

Crowley snapped his fingers and the child who had insulted Aziraphale suddenly found themselves with a nasty case of the hiccups, and all the critters in the garden he'd find as he goes to leave, had suddenly taken a liking to him. It was a harmless little prank, and about all he could manage to do without drawing too much attention. The child looks confused, as he can't stop hiccuping, but he still talks with Warlock and the others.

The demon's golden eyes drifted back down to his watch, just in time to see it flip to 2:59, any moment now the Hell Hound would be upon them, and the fate of all life on Earth as they knew it could be at stake. He begins to count down the seconds, shouts suddenly erupting around him as Harriet Dowling announces that they can eat the cake.

The watch ticks to 3:00, and Crowley doesn't feel anything different. But he can hear the chunks of frosting coated cake whizzing right past him, as the children decide it's the perfect time to start a food fight. The demon, miraculously manages to keep his white clothes stain free, but the angel on the other hand, got whacked right in the face, nearly dropping Harry. His suit was coated in frosting and cake crumbs.

Aziraphale immediately grabbed up what he could after locking eyes with Crowley, and they both make their way out of the back garden and to the Bentley. He shoves his stuff into the backseat of the vehicle, carefully closing the door back. " It was all a bit of a disaster, I'm afraid. " Crowley gave a shake of his head, though he might not be the BIGGEST fan of Aziraphale's magic, he knew it made the other happy. " Nonsense, you gave them all a party to remember. Last one any of them will ever have, mind. "

Aziraphale's brows furrowed as he frowns, reaching up into his coat to pull out the dove he'd accidentally killed. He gives it a gentle tap on the chest as he speaks to Crowley. " It's late. "Crowley opened the driver side door to the Bentley, and went to slide in. " Comes of putting it up your sleeve. "

Aziraphale smiled as the dove came back to life, and he carefully gave it a gentle toss. " No, the Hell Hound. It's late. "

Suddenly the speakers in the Bentley crackle. ' Isle of Skye, and your time starts- ' " Hello, Crowley. " Cuts a voice through the stereo.

" Uh, hi. Who's this? " Crowley asked as he settled down into the seat, eyes glued to the stereo. Where was that Hell Hound?

" Dagon, Lord of the Files. Master of Torments. "

The voice almost sounded a bit annoyed, as they knew Crowley had met them before.

Crowley glanced around the area surrounding them, unable to spot or even sense the demonic presence of a Hell Hound. " Yeah, just checking in about the Hell Hound. "

Dagon's voice came through sounding concerned and confused, as Crowley always tried to make it seem like he had a handle perfectly on everything. " He should be with you now. Why, has something gone wrong, Crowley? "

Crowley's eyes widened at the suspicion in Dagon's voice, and he was quick to collect himself. " Wrong? No, no. Nothings wrong. What could be wrong? " The demon gives a purposeful pause before continuing. " Oh, no, I see him now, yes! What a lovely, big helly Hell Hound. Yes, OK, great talking to you. "

The radio cuts off and as Crowley sinks further in his seat, Aziraphale and himself lock eyes. " No dog. "

" No dog. " Was echoed back.

" Wrong boy. " Oh, how could they have had the wrong boy this entire time?

" Wrong boy. "

#rich the idiot talks #Rich the idiot writes #good omens #good omens fanfiction #31 days of Good Omens #This is the second prompt for a 31 day prompt thing from over on Reddit

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kennan73888 · 1 year

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Before Good Omens Season 2

I watched, read, and also listened to the BBC audio of Good Omens before season 2 was confirmed. Maybe in a year or two, they say yes. Before everything ever happened, I read fanfiction for fun in my spare time and chose what had an intriguing plot. Well, it’s mainly related to shipping. Relationship in a relationship.

I then came upon a fanfiction supposedly about Gabriel and Beelzebub, not sure what the title was called. It’s a slow romance between the two. I guess, from what I’m feeling the vibes.

The story begins with Gabriel losing his wings and ascending onto earth as a human because something goes wrong at his job or it’s related to the Anti-Christ. Armageddon didn’t go as planned. Can’t remember the reason why. Gabriel went straight to Aziraphale for help, and Crowley was also there, because he was confused and distressed. They soon learn that Gabriel has become human, and there are marks from what’s left of his wings on his back.

News of Gabriel being human caught a certain demon, Beelzebub, to go and tried to recruit him. Soil his soul and send him to hell. However, that didn’t sit well with the angels. They too tried to bring him back.

Gabriel now has this foreign feeling and wants nothing to do with the angels. He was traumatized by what they did. Aziraphale, to his best capability, tried explaining to the angels Gabriel reason as a human, but they wouldn’t understand. The wings cutting was too much, so he weather stay. At the same time, when the angels were meeting Gabriel, Beelzebub was there and also tried to win him. It’s almost a success, but he wouldn’t give in to a demon.

The rest of it was… I don’t know. Never read to completion, or it ever was in completion. The interaction between Aziraphale and Crowley with Gabriel was funny. One of them wants to help while the other doesn’t. They bought a hotel room for him to stay and checked on him occasionally, especially Aziraphale. Somewhere far enough, that’s what Crowley wants.

I’m recalling this fanfiction because of the trailer of season 2, Gabriel showing up in Aziraphale shop without his memory. Gabriel is now human or not, haven’t watched the first episode yet. That’s it until I went to check their bibliography on Wiki. I laughed in shock, seeing he was in a relationship with Beelzebub. They elope to a place Crowley suggested.

I’m unsure about Beelzebub and Gabriel’s relationship because the first episode was only out. There are rumors from articles and videos of the plot, but I’ll wait and see. There are also snippets of Crowley and Aziraphale that are raising their relationship this season. Don’t know how it’ll end, between heaven and hell. Romeo and Juliet style, with a twist?

#good omens #opinion

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zodiyack · 4 years

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I just thought of Aziraphale and Crowley as well as Michael Langdon-

I may have accidentally come up with a fic idea and I don’t think I regret it lol

#Aziraphale x crowley with a daughter who's dating Michael??#crowley: wait this is the anti-christ?#reader: yes.#crowley: and you're...dating him?#Michael: *awkward silence*#Aziraphale: *awkward silence until he can't stand it* he seems ....nice...

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ngkiscool · 2 years

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This time, all the fics happens after the apocalypse that wasn’t.

As always, all the fics are focusing on supporting characters, rated G or T and are SFW. The description includes rating, word count, main characters and main CW.

In the next week the focus will be about stories with happy endings, please send recs for stories that focus on supporting characters (as in, Aziraphale and Crowley are not the main ones). Self recs are encouraged!

After the Longest Day of His Life by MickyRC - 479 words, G, focusing on Lesly the International Express Man and Maud. cw - Temporary character death. Summary: Sometimes love is loud, and dramatic, and fiery. Sometimes it’s so worn in you could walk through it barefoot in absolute comfort. or: After delivering the most exhausting packages of his life, Lesley comes home.

Nature by Lady_of_the_Spirit - 853 words, G, focusing on The Them and The Horsepeople of the Apocalypse. Summary: "What I don't understand," Adam began, "is why you have to do the things you do." He bit into the scoop of strawberry ice cream perfectly placed on top of his cone and surveyed the scene in the garden before him. He was perched on top of the picnic table that had never seen a picnic before, but possibly would someday in the future. Summer was coming, after all, and summer picnics were certainly necessary for proper rehabilitation.

The Final Link by @anonymousdandelion - focusing on Anathema Device and Newton Pulsifer. Summary: And ye, mine Childe Virtue and her Manne, shalle take and rede this Book, and teach of it to thy owne Children, and they in turne to theyrs. And the Chaine sharl continue Unbroken by alle mine Descendents, Parent to Childe to Grand Childe and so on and so forthe; unto the veriest coming of the Ende, so mine line shalle continue. But Anathema, Greatest of mine Grand Children, when thee time cometh ye shal be the final linke in the Chaine. Anathema has always known she was the end of the line; the final chapter of the story; the last leaf on the family tree. Except, maybe she isn't.

When The Sea Boils, The Kraken Will Rise (Against Its Inner Demons) by OtterFi - 435 words, G, focusing on the Kraken and Various Sea Monster. Summary: After the World Didn't End, Adam set the world right again. But he didn't undo it all. The World might be calling the Kraken events a mass hallucination, but some beings are still upset by the missing trade delegation.

When War Rode Alone by Darke_Eco_Freak - 1.6K, G, focusing on The Them and War. Summary: The Anti-Christ speaks and the Universe listens. Chaos is Order is Natural, but War is nature too, Human Nature, and she doesn't forget.

Old Habits by @ngkiscool (me!) - 500 words, G, focusing on Warlock. Summary: “Why on earth was there a knife on the door? It almost hit me!" “A silver knife ought to be on every sleeping room's lintel, everybody knows that!" Or: Warlock goes to university, and learns that not everyone grew up the same way he did.

Ghost in the Machine by @not-a-space-alien - 2.4K, G, focusing on The Them. Summary: The Them hunt some ghosts.

Some Complications by Aaymeirah - 4.5K, T, focusing on Beelzebub, Gabriel. Dagon, Michael, Hastur, Sandalphon, Uriel, Metatron, Lucifer, Aziraphale and Crowley. Summary: Beelzebub stalked towards the four angels waiting on the other side of the airstrip, flanked by Dagon and Hastur. “This better be good,” they hissed, crossing their arms. “Angels,” Dagon cursed at their approach. “Demons,” retorted Uriel. “We need to set aside our differences for a moment. There are bigger things to focus on,” said Michael, moderator for this meeting. “Like what?” sneered Hastur. “The Apocalypse, or the lack thereof you idiot,” responded Gabriel. “Be civil.” Micheal gave Gabriel a warning glance.“Fine, I’ll get to the point. It seems that the Final Battle and the subsequent destruction of Earth might not exactly be what God wants.”

All Bets Are Off by AnnaTheHank - 3.6K, T, focusing on Ligur and Michael. Summary: Ligur and Michael had a habit of making bets, even before the fall. Not much has changed. A.k.a Five times Michael won a bet against Ligur and the one time she didn't.

So glad you could make it by FancyTrinkets - 666 words, T, focusing on Hastur, Ligur and Dagon. Summary: When Ligur reappears, solid again and somehow undestroyed, his mouth is open wide and he's screaming out in rage and terror. He's also stuck behind a massive set of filing cabinets.

Authors - if you wish that your Tumblr account will be tagged, instead of the AO3, please comment or DM me the handle. Thanks :)

Bonus - master list with all past recommendations!

Thanks for reading, and remember - sharing is caring!

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dolphin-bouillabaisse · 5 years

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Nanny Ashtoreth is soft

She has to be, because she is Crowley with a child, and there’s never been anything as soft as Crowley with a child.

Brother Francis loves it, because he is Aziraphale, and there’s never been anything Aziraphale has loved more than seeing Crowley as he should be.

Soft.

He’s seen him with children before, of course, Crowley is always around the kids when he can. He’s seen him play with kids, heal kids, help kids, save kids in countless forms and interactions. But there was always this resistance, this hesitation.

Demons aren’t nice. Demons don’t play with children and laugh about it. Demons don’t heal people. Demons certainly don’t hide a whole group of little humans on an ark to save their lives.

But Crowley does.

So he has to find excuses. Those children clearly were meant to die by God’s hand, so he’s obviously just going against God, not helping them. That kid he healed is probably going to steal a lot more food now (especially when helped with some demonic miracles to go unnoticed by vendors), and stealing is bad, so mark that one down for some more demon-points. He’s not playing with the kids, he’s play-fighting, and teaching humans war early on is just so evil, isn’t it? He’s being evil, angel, evil with the children, and he won’t hear another word of it.

There are moments where he isn’t. Where he’s just smiling, a little boy with a bruised cheek on his lap, nose still running from the crying earlier, but no child cries when they are with Crowley anymore. A little girl hugged to his side as they stand on the marketplace, waiting for her mum to finally find them and hug her close and thank the stranger for caring for her lost child. But these moments are seconds, barely, and as soon as Crowley notices them, he makes them vanish. Aziraphale has seen it countless times.

Nanny Ashtoreth, though? Nanny Ashtoreth can have these moments.

Sure, there is the whole ‘guiding the Anti-Christ to evil’ thing that she has to do, but right now he’s a baby and wouldn’t take any of that in anyway, so there’s no harm in holding him close, swaying back and forth, humming a small lullaby as he falls asleep. Maybe holding him longer than necessary when he’s quietly breathing and snuffling in her ear, feeling the warmth on her chest, the soft and chubby legs under her hand, the smell of babypowder and milk and baby in her nose.

And sure, there’s the whole ‘this kid is gonna destroy the world, so maybe don’t get attached’ thing going on, but right now he’s five and has skinned his knee and what kind of nanny would she be if she didn’t blow on it to make it better, and it actually gets better, the bleeding skin healing over within seconds? And what kind of nanny would she be if she pushed him away as he hugs her close, mumbling thank yous through a stuffy nose?

And obviously, there’s the whole ‘you’re only pretending to be this kid’s caretaker to help the dark side win him over’, but that means pretending to be a proper caretaker to convince everyone, and that includes taking care of the damned (literally..) child. That includes singing lullabies, and running through puddles, and helping with baths after, and reading stories that Brother Francis picked out, and wiping paint off of every surface of child after he’s presented her with a colourful picture of ‘the family’ of the three of them.

Nobody can judge Crowley for doing these things, because they’re what he has to do as a nanny, obviously. Hell can’t say anything against supporting the Anti-Christ. The angel can’t say anything about him being good when it’s just an act.

Nanny Ashtoreth is a nanny, and nannys are soft, so she has to be. So Crowley can be.

And Aziraphale smiles, and understands just why Crowley was so adamant he be the one to play the nanny in this plan of theirs.

(Years later, after armagedoh-no, he also understands why they take so many trips to check up on ‘the actual anti-christ this time, for go-sa-someone’s sake’. Why they must always bring a little gift not just for Adam, but for all of the Them. Why Anathema only prepares tea for herself, Newt and Aziraphale - because she also understands that Crowley is not going to sit down with them for more than a few moments before he’s off with a wooden sword down the fields with the rest of the kids darting around him and trying to slay the demon. It’s not just Nanny Ashtoreth’s turn to be soft now, after everything has ended.)

(Not that she stops, though. Not that Warlock doesn’t get letters and care packages and the odd visit of a magician and his curly-haired assistant on his birthdays. Not that he doesn’t have a number saved in his high-end smartphone he knows he can call at any time of day, even if he’s at the other end of the world, to conjure up a darkly dressed lady with a soft smile on her face within the hour.)

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #nanny ashtoreth #my writing #ficlet #drabble #headcanon

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d20owlbear-deactivated · 4 years

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Joy of Cooking (or the Cookie Fic)

Chapter 1 will be on AO3 on July 10th! With a podfic version by @groovyaviator and as part of the @do-it-with-style-events minibang!

Rating: T

Warnings: Trauma about the Fall, mental health spiral, breakdown about the Fall and implications therein

Tags: Aziraphale (Sister Frances), Crowley (Nanny Ashtoreth), Warlock, Ineffable Wives, Crowley/Aziraphale (sort of, pining) 11-year interim, building the world, making cookies, cookies as a metaphor for trauma, God is a Kitchen Witch, the universe is made of shortbread and other things, burnt cookies as fallen angels, Warlock is presumed the anti-christ, so sometimes, expectations override reality, if you're an angel and a demon who believe something a lot, Warlock kinda sorta has powers, Crowley has to Face His Emotions Like An Emotionally Mature Being, where we tackle topics like, can anyone be inherently Bad or Good or is God is just cruel, with a four year old, Heartbreaking meta disguised as friendly theological debate between two hereditary enemies? In MY fic? More likely than you think!, a 4 year old as a stand in for God

Summary: Nanny Ashtoreth is doing her damndest to instill the virtues vices a young Prince of Darkness. So, she teaches him about how the universe was made so that he can eventually remake it when he's 11 and grown into his birthright.

On her day off, she ends up giving Warlock a more hands-on lesson, patching together shortbread biscuits the same way God did in Her cottage at the Edge of the Universe before it was made when She created the angels. All the while telling Warlock the story of how She made the Earth and the Firmament and even Crowley herself.

But somehow, those sorts of thoughts don’t seem to end on a high note for Nanny... Luckily, Sister Frances is here to help. Or try to, at least.

Sneak Peak below!

Chapter 1: In Which Warlock and Nanny Talk About The Universe

“Nanny?” Warlock mumbled sleepily, “I’m not tired.” Crowley raised an eyebrow at that.

“Of course you are, dear. And just what did I say about lying?” She asked sternly, stopping on her way to bring the hellspawn to his bed, and looking him in the eye, letting her bright yellow gaze peek over the rims of her sunglasses.

Warlock, of course, had never been afraid of them, liked them even and Crowley had been able to report a stunning casualness in the face of outright demonic and evil activity, for which she’d been golf-clapped rudely. Remarkable achievement in Hell, really.

“You said,” Warlock sighed dramatically, which she was also quite proud of, “That if I’m gonna lie, gotta do it good.”

“Well.” Crowley corrected absentmindedly, but continued walking and shuffled the antichrist in her arms so he could wrap his stubby arms around her neck—yes, just like that, when you’re older it’ll be a perfect stranglehold, my little dragon, hold on tight—and let him bury his head into the crook of her neck. “But, young prince-of-this-world, that was quite a good first step in your mischief. What was the next going to be?”

Warlock groaned and wriggled in her arms so that she nearly dropped him, only stilling once she hissed under her breath and held him tight against her chest. Usually it was simply a matter of waiting, and Nanny had something bordering on an infinite amount of patience, at least where Warlock was concerned.

“Was gonna say you had ta tell me a story, Nanny.” Warlock grumbled after a child’s eternity passed, “And I was gonna mis-chiv and tie all Jeeve’s shoes together if you didn’t.” Crowley smiled slyly and tapped Warlock’s cheek fondly. The butler was, of course, not actually named Jeeves, but he took the compliment admirably whenever Nanny and young master Warlock were around. Mr. Ainsworth was a bit harder for a four year-old to say, antichrist or no.

“Ah, an ultimatum, masterfully done, my little dark lord. Just as you ought.” Crowley adjusted Warlock a little higher on her hip with a huff. “But, my dear, just why would I care if you made mischief for the butler? Why would you choose that to punish me for not giving you what you wanted?” Crowley emphasized the correct pronunciation of mischief.

Warlock didn’t take quite as long to think about it as Crowley thought he would and his answer was a bit surprising. “I heard Jeeves and you talkin’ an’ a maid said he was,” Warlock screwed up his face and very carefully continued, “in-tre-stid in you. An’ she said ‘t was lucky. So ‘f I made him mad at you, wouldn’t be lucky.”

Crowley stopped short in front of Warlock’s door and raised her eyebrows at him. “Oh really now, did she. How interesting…” she muttered before pushing her way into the room, not bothering to flick on the lights. She could see perfectly fine as it was and Warlock didn’t need to go anywhere.

“And that’s how you were going to punish me? Make me unlucky?” Crowley asked, setting Warlock on the bed and crossing to the wardrobe to pick out sleeping clothes for the boy. “I suppose that could work, but you’d have an easier time of it if your ultimatums or threats were against something I actually liked.”

“Like Sister Frances?” Warlock asked after a few moments of thought, raising his arms for Crowley to change out his shirts.

“Now what makes you think I like anything at all? Let alone Sister Frances. Most everyone else seems to think I hate her.” Crowley continued the conversation, even though it was waking Warlock up, making him think like this, rather than putting him to sleep. Warlock, of course, had always liked when she asked him about “tactics”—especially when he was destroying block cities with his dinosaur toys—and was happily responsive.

“You smile at her.” Warlock shrugged again, “An’ she gets to see your eyes. Only me and’ Frances get to see your eyes. And I know you like me ‘cause I make you.”

“Ah, that’s true. I am but a humble servant to your whims, my little dragon.” Crowley smiled a little too fondly, a little too softly, and tapped Warlock’s cheek. “Very well then. It was a decent try, I’ll give you that. But next time, you’ll have to do better if you want a story. Understood, Warlock?”

“Yes!” Warlock jumped onto his bed and shoved himself under the covers messily. Crowley could, of course, only approve of the chaos. She tucked him in and took her usual seat by the bed.

“Alright, my great beast.” Crowley began slowly, letting her words fill her mouth and a story spin itself behind her eyes. “Let me tell you about how the world was made. So that when you reshape it and bend it to your will, you know what to do.

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wanna-b-poet31 · 5 years

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Crowley’s Truth and Aziraphale’s Lies (A 3-part series) Part 1: Crowley’s Heartbreaking Honesty

So I could do a whole series about why Crowley (in all his piety) is fallen and Aziraphale (in all his temptations) is not. However, I wanted to focus this series strictly on the use of honesty and lies throughout Good Omens. I argue that honesty (and the irony of an honest Demon and a lying Angel) is a tool for establishing their place in-between Heaven and Hell. They serve as hybrids, a liminal space between holy and hellish, allowing for their supposed “flaws” to shine, and enable them to form their own side.

Crowley’s Motivation:

One of Crowley’s defining traits is his imagination. Unlike any other celestial entity, he can create ideas, questions, and fabrications at a moment’s notice. Crowley’s no Saint, he lies to Hastur easily (about calling the demonic counsel), he impersonates Aziraphale stunningly, and (if Aziraphale recalls correctly) he takes credit for all of the horrendous things humanity has done throughout the years (even earning himself some commendations along the way). So he CAN lie, quite well actually, so long as he has the proper motivation.

And, without fail what IS his motivation? Who (or what) inspires him and allows him to focus his thoughts even when he’s panicking (and possibly trying his best to cope with his piles of trauma)? Certainly not humanity alone, and certainly not because he has any sense of self-preservation. The man ran into a burning building head first without a second thought; he drove his beloved car through literal hellfire; he walked across consecrated ground despite being burned simply because he told himself he could. No, he there’s only 1 thing that motivates him.

Aziraphale (of course)

Crowley: Would I Lie To You?

Crowley lies at least 5 notable times throughout the series.

His reports about the ill-deeds he’s responsible for are riddled with lies and half-truths (which is a general fuck you Hell kind of lie)

He fails to tell the higher-ups in Hell about his knowledge about the Anti-Christ, the location of the Anti-Christ and neglected to correct Hell about it (a Fuck you Satan kind of lie)

He hides and ignores the agreement he’s made with Aziraphale from Hell (A Fuck you Heaven and Hell kind of lie)

He deceives Hastur, several times but most notably after Ligur’s death (a fuck you Hastur kind of lie, and he’s murderous so he deserves it sorta)

He Impersonates Aziraphale (An F to the U to Heaven kind of lie)

The notable exemption from this list is Aziraphale.

Unlike the demons who he deceives at any given moment (particularly in defense of Aziraphale), he refuses to lie to Aziraphale.

Are you Satan and have just “blessed” Crowley with the staring role in the Apocalypse? Yeah, great (lies through his teeth about wanting to partake).

Are you a Duke of Hell inquiring about where the Anti-Christ is and trying to confront Crowley about his relationship with Aziraphale? “So Longggg Suckaaas” I’m gonna lie lie lie and possibly kill you for coming towards me.

Are you heaven trying to torture my best friend >lover< with hellfire that will surely kill him? Not today motherfucker, because guess what? Now I’m him and I’ll lie my ass off to protect him.

Are you an Angel who shows free will and loves humanity as much as he does? 404 Error lies not found.

This is not to say he’s always straightforward with Aziraphale. because God, Satan, Someone knows he’s got a flair for the dramatic. But not even does he lie through omission. Whenever Aziraphale asks a question, no matter how light-hearted or series Crowley’s being, he will always give an honest answer, even if it sometimes goes over the angel’s head. >see: Crowley being a blubbering mess because his best friend died and Aziraphale not quite understanding that the best friend is him<

He’s also oddly cryptic when he’s asking for holy water, but never once does Crowley lie. Sure, he’s trying to speak in code “because the trees have ears”, but when he says it’s for insurance, not a suicide pill, it is for insurance.

He can tell that his relationship with Aziraphale has morphed in such a way that it would put him and Aziraphale in danger if Hell ever found out about it. Aziraphale, simply, does not believe him that his only motivation is protection because it is too close to his own fears about Crowley being destroyed.

Which is why I think he’s so upset about the word “fraternize”. First, there is a class element involved with the Victorian use of the word (usually referring to someone of a higher class interacting friendly to a lower class member). Where Aziraphale may have meant comradery (and brotherhood, which also not how Crowley views their relationship) Crowley certainly acts as if he took it to mean Aziraphale was speaking to him like an enemy or an “inferior” species.

This is only further supported by Aziraphale’s accusatory “we may have both started out as Angels, but YOU are fallen”, placing (in my opinion) too much emphasis on Crowley’s fall (a huge trauma trigger for him). But this whole characterization of their relationship is a lie Aziraphale tells himself to repress his fears about Heaven’s traumatic treatment of him. By this point in their partnership (as we’ve seen) both he and Crowley go out of their ways to treat each other as equals. To deny it, to repress their feeling is a slap. in. the. face.

Further, the audience for lying clearly matters to Crowley. In the relative privacy of the park, Aziraphale says “fraternize”, which doesn’t do enough justice for the kind of intimacy the uniquely share. It implies they could be enemies or strangers (which they aren’t, they’re at least friends). Crowley is so intimately aware that even now, in the 1800′s, it’s them (and humanity) against divinity. And, Crowley refuses to lie to Aziraphale, especially about the sort of relationship they share. Sure he won’t tell the other demons, and sure as hell won’t tell the angels how deep their relationship goes, but in this private moment, where he’s approaching as a partner (not an adversary)? It would be the worst kind of lie. It would ignore or erase the new space they’ve created for themselves where they can be equals.

In the above gif, we see Crowley angry and lash out. He says harsh words and insists that he doesn’t need Aziraphale. Since we’re counting, I don’t think this is a lie. Now no, he clearly does need Aziraphale in his life, but he’s just been smacked in the face with the insinuation that they are not equals, they are not friends, they are enemies, and I believe him at this moment, a very hurt Crowley, decides if that’s how Aziraphale is going to treat him, then he will treat him like all his other enemies. At the moment he says I think it he means it because Crowley cannot make time for someone who won’t take his concerns seriously and thinks so little of their relationship. If he can’t be seen as an equal, he’d prefer not to be seen at all.

Although, this is a temporary truth, and one Crowley is willing to correct Aziraphale about in a way he never does for his hellish counterparts. Crowley cares too deeply to wish Aziraphale any real harm, even if Aziraphale can’t call a spade a spade. Crowley sure as Hell would move heaven and earth to demonstrate the extent of his love. He shows as much in his rescue in 1941, and again when Aziraphale once again lies and says “we’re not friends...I don’t even like you” in the bandstand. These lies actively hurt Crowley but not once does he retaliate with. Instead, he meets Aziraphale with blunt honesty. Saying “yes you do” doing everything he can to get Aziraphale on the same page, and share their truth.

Look at the above gif. Not only does Crowley KNOW Aziraphale is lying, but Aziraphale knows it too. While he clearly loves Crowley and has loved Crowley for some time, his inability to work through his anxieties and rely on Crowley as a support system, as a partner, he can’t come to terms with his own trauma.

So, he lies.

He lies and he hurts Crowley. He lies and he dismisses Crowley’s honesty. He lies and he harms himself because they both know this is a facade he can’t keep up much longer. He lies, and Crowley still meets him with honesty and forgiveness.

And honestly, it breaks his heart to be lied to, but he knows the alternative solution would be no best friend at all. Under normal circumstances, Crowley could be patient. He could wait for Aziraphale to come to terms with their relationship almost for forever. But, shit hits the fan, and he needs to show Aziraphale that two of them need to stop dancing, stop being cryptic, and cut through the bullshit for once.

Which brings me to the first Gif of this section. Take a moment, scroll the ridiculous amount up, and just look at the indignation on his face. in the earlier gif “Would I lie to you?”, he clearly consciously makes a point to never lie to Aziraphale, despite it supposedly being “the demon’s way”. Not in anger (like at the bandstand) not even if it’s uncomfortable (like when he’s criticizing Aziraphale for being so clever and so stupid), not even if the angel is (knowingly or unknowingly) hurting him with his lies.

Crowley draws the line at tainting his relationship with the kind of lies Heaven tells, and the kind of disregard Hell tells. Because despite the lies he’s told by Aziraphale, Crowley knows who he can trust, who he needs on his side, who he wants to spend the end of the world with, and it sure as hell isn’t Hastur or Beelzebub.

Because at the end of the day, Crowley knows what the two of them share together. One great way to see this comparison is to checkout @theladyzephyr ‘s meta on Crowley and his glasses. Because while he does let his guard down for Aziraphale (even if only drunk), his autonomy, his consent to wear/not wear his glasses is taken from in by Hastur in the above gif’s scene. Aziraphale, for all his lies, does not cross the same boundaries as Hell does, and genuinely cares for Crowley. He shows remorse for his actions and is clearly just as hurt by his own lies as Crowley is.

A Very Crowley’s Conclusion

But what does this mean in terms of his Honesty? Well, for starters, demonstrates that while he has the power to lie, and could lie to Aziraphale (functionally I mean) he chooses not to.

He might, every now and then poke him and partake in some friendly banter, but never is it mean spirited, not even when they’re both at their breaking points. His ability to lie but restraint from lying; his ability to deceive, but his choice to trust, sets him apart from the rest of the demonic mold.

Quite honestly, He probably could tempt (like really tempt) Aziraphale to his side. He could manipulate and push the Angel into situations they both know he would be uncomfortable with. But, he doesn’t. He doesn’t become the abusive force Heaven and Hell have pushed on the two of them because that’s not how he wants or needs to cope with his loss. No, he needs an equal, not a lackey. He needs an equal, not a boss. He needs love, not control.

It becomes clear that his loyalties have never (at least not in the series) been with Hell. Crowley doesn’t trust or care about his fellow demons. He kills one (permanently) and another (not so permanently) without hesitation. He defies (actively and with little regard for the safety of other celestial creatures) the desires of Hell, working with his bestie to ensure the world breaks even.

Consequently, he’s creating a “third” option with Aziraphale. It is distinctly not a human space (neither of them is human). It’s is not heavenly or hellish, but space for them to be who they are, fight for what they love and feel safe knowing they are a team (romantic or otherwise). And it’s clear based on who he lies to and how he lies, that he’s not cut out for the Demon frenzy or the demon.

Their third space is what Crowley’s been working for since day one because Aziraphale is worth lying to others to protect and worth telling the truth to love.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

#ineffable husbands #good omens #go #crowley #anthony janthony crowley #crowley loves aziraphale #IT'S ALL FINE #sorrynotsorry #good omens meta #meta #long post #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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marziblogsworld · 4 years

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I finally watched the long waited show that was on my list, that always get delayed due to some reasons. Although i have read its book but i wanted too explore the tv series to. Good Omens just like the book was also amazing as a tv series and here is my review.

The show has a different take in telling a story. Like when can you see God actually narrating the whole show. Good Omens dabbles with an angel and a demon working together to stop an apocalypse, going against the orders of Heaven and Hell who are soo desperate to have a war.

The CGI graphics, cinematography, direction of these wonderful 6 episodes was spot on. The relationship between different characters are amazing. I definitely need 'Agnes Nice and True Prophecy' Book in my hands... No wait scratch that i want all the books that are in Aziraphale library because he has all the 1st editions and i am a sucker for that.

Talking about relationships. My favourite is definitely those divine husbands who are desperate in love and my favourite episode is the one when it showed Aziraphale and Crowley whole journey throughout history. From the time of Jesus, French Revolution, meeting Shakespeare and the 1st world war. I was soo in love when Crowley literally walked in the church with his feet all burning just to save Aziraphale from a bunch of russian mafia and the bonus part he also saved his 1st edition books. If a man takes care of your books the same way he takes care of his automobile please marry him. Aziraphale going all soft when Crowley asked for the holy water melts my heart, he always go like 'i cant see you die, you are my everything' these two desperado were the death of me.

Crowley desperation when he screamed for Aziraphale inside his bruning library *chills* *literal chill* 'YOU KILLED MY BEST FRIEND, BASTARDS!!, ALL OF YOU' yeah i felt every single raw emotions Crowley was throwing at me (hats off to you David Tennant). You know what, i cried too at that scene because it was a vintage library and my heart just *gasped* seeing all of those books, those minted books buring.

I laughed at the most famous wife threat Aziraphale throwed at Crowley when they were in the middle of a showdown between the Anti Christ and his pissed father Satan who was coming on top of the Earth and they didn't had any plans and everything was going into doom and at that moment Aziraphale just looked at Crowley with his soft eyes and said 'Do something, or else i will never talk to you again' yesss! This one simple line and Crowley was like 'naa i cant afford to sleep on the couch again, my wife is angry' 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. With a dialogue like that of course people Crowley made a plan. 🤩

I could goo on and on and on with these two and will never get tired because they were that amazing. There breakup 'oooh the angst' and than there whole tag teaming and swaping faces to threat heaven and hell *badass divine husbands* and that dining in the Ritz awwwwwwwwwwww *kill me* i want them more!!! 😭😭😭

The overall story was kinda similar to the books they did change a few tatics and the scenario to stretch it up a bit but i accept, the aura of Death was spot on like with every other series there are 3 horsemen and then there is 'Death' . Famine going all 'your tea is getting cold my lord' to Death oooh i felt that. I wish they would have made his voice more metalic and not too human also his appearance was all like Darth Vader and i like how these kids killed or made all of the other horsemen vanished with the sword but they all pleaded to Death to leave because hahha why would you mess with something that inevitable and eternal.

The witch and the witchfinder scene was throwing me off a bit. They should have been more to explore and not just wrapped around themselves to each other because the prophecy said so.

Adam is dangerous i tell ya and i feel like it isn't over yet. He is still using his powers and if he starts liking it again, destruction awaits. The whole gang of these kids gave me such stranger things vibes, fighting the monster to save the world,while riding in their bicycle. Pepper i want to meet your mom she is an icon and queen. The things she taught her child 👏👏👏👏. To be very honest i was expecting more from the hell hound then just be 'Dog' but i get it, it was a light hearted tv series just like book not YA.

The show has all the elements, the suspense, the drama, the romance, the angst, the laughter consumed all in 6 episodes. I enjoyed it alot. Crowley and Azraphale were definitely my favourite. My divine husbands😍😍😍😍.

Follow me guys for more amazing reviews on your favourite tvshows, movies and books. Open for all and any recommendations 😉

He fucking saved his books😭😭😭😭

Can you see the raw emotions in crowley face!!!.thats the scene where he thought he lost his best friend. *internally sobbing*

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metaphorical-love-for-a-car · 5 years

Text

Godfathers-- Crowley x Aziraphale x Reader (part two)

Request; “Could I get a plantonic X Reader where the reader is pregnant (with a ex-boyfriend’s baby) and Aziraphale and Crowley are very protective of them and the reader unexpectly goes into labor at Azzy’s shop and Crowley attempts to drive everyone to to hospital. And I say attempt as Reader ends up giving birth in Crowley’s car due to traffic.” (anon)

Warnings; none! :)

Word Count; 2.4k

Notes; the wait is finally over! sorry it’s taken me so long to post lol ALSO sorry if it’s not very accurate? i don't know anything about pregnancy, I just know what google tells me lol

"Crowley, are you sure? I really don't want to be a bother," you mumbled. He scoffed and shook his head. He tucked one of the bags he was holding under his arm, allowing himself to better talk with his hand.

"You'll only be a bother if you trash the place. Or be nice to my plants." Crowley paused. He pointed at you before giving you a stern look. "Don't be nice to them. They don't deserve it." You snorted, assuming he was joking. He opened the door to his apartment and motioned you in. You followed him inside, marveling at the place. Everything was spic and span, totally immaculate.

"Beautiful place you've got," you complimented. The tiniest smile crossed Crowley's lips.

His apartment didn't obey the normal laws of physics. It was a bit like the Tardis. The inside made the outside look unbelievable. Crowley was able to change bits of it as he pleased. In this case, he was able to add on an extra bedroom just for you. He set the bags he was carrying on the foot of the bed, glancing around the room before nodding in approval. He always considered himself good at interior design, though he'd never tell anyone that. "A friend of mine is bringing some dinner by. I just ordered some takeout, hope you don't mind." When you shook your head, he continued, "Good. Now, the entire place is soundproofed, so you can vent... or scream... or cry... or whatever it is people do after a heartbreak."

"Thank you, Crowley. I really appreciate it." He nodded and sauntered out of the room, leaving you to unpack your belongings.

You were changing into some more comfortable clothes when you heard muffled voices from the other side of the bedroom door. The rational, mature part of your mind told you that it would be rude to eavesdrop, but the curious, monkey side of your brain kept chanting about how you should listen in. It's not difficult to understand which side won. You pressed your ear against the door, straining to catch some of their conversation.

"...doing is nice, Crowley."

"Oh, shut up."

"You know, if you could whip up a whole new room, you could have miricaled a couch. Or at least another chair or two." Your brows furrowed. Miracles?

"Well, I wasn't thinking about that, Aziraphale. I've never had someone else stay here before!"

"Lucky for you, I have an idea since it'd be too obvious to add any new furniture at this point... Bean bags!"

"No. Absolutely not. I will not allow those abominations in my flat." You bit your lip to keep yourself from laughing. As much as you wanted to stay in hiding and hear where the conversation would go next, your stomach's demonstration of whale noises reminded you that that was not an option. You slowly pulled the door open, poking your head out and glancing around. Crowley had his back to you, but the newcomer caught sight of you from over Crowley's shoulder. He flashed you a bright smile. At the time, you didn't know him very well, but you recognized him from his occasional visits to Crowley's. His fluffy hair and out of date clothing choices made him hard to forget.

"Hello, my dear. It's wonderful to see you, though I wish it were under better circumstances," Aziraphale hummed as he approached you. He pulled you into an embrace. Normally, you wouldn't want a person you hardly knew to touch you, but Aziraphale was like a ball of sunshine. He was incredibly comforting, something which you desperately needed at the moment. "Come along, let's get you something to eat before the food gets cold!"

The three of you divvied out the takeout. Crowley led you into what you assumed was his office slash living room, which hardly had any furniture in it at all. You and Aziraphale plopped onto two beanbags, and Crowley sprawled across a chair that looked more like a throne. He turned on the television, and Aziraphale raised a brow at him when Golden Girls came across the screen. "Again? My boy, how many times have you watched this series?" Crowley threw his arms up dramatically.

"It's not like I choose it every time! The TV has a mind of its own. And besides, it's a good show."

"You can't use that excuse for everything, Crowley. You're starting to turn into the boy who cried wolf." The red-head scoffed at the notion.

"Please, Aziraphale," he scoffed before turning to look at you, "What do you think about Golden Girls?"

"I've heard the name, but I've never actually seen it before." Crowley's eyebrows shot up as his posture went rigid.

"Never? Here I was, thinking you were a person of sensible taste. This must be fixed immediately." He pressed a button on the remote, flipping through the channels until he found one playing the very first episode. Aziraphale sighed and sank further into the bean bag chair. He shoveled the yellow rice into his mouth as Crowley animatedly explained to you the wonderful show that is Golden Girls.

At first, the plan was to stay at Crowley's until you were able to get back on your feet and find a place of your own. But with only a part-time job and a child on the way, you weren't sure how you were going to afford it. Aziraphale could sense your growing anxiety and suggested you stay with one of them until you felt ready to move out. You gladly accepted the invitation, having grown close to them since you first moved in. The three of you had spent many nights drinking non-alcoholic beverages and binging Golden Girls, and you always enjoyed popping into Aziraphale's bookshop. It took a lot of convincing, but you finally managed to get him to help you organize the mess of books that were piled around. The more time you spent around them, the more you realized that they weren't so human. I mean, they weren't exactly hiding it. It's a miracle more people didn't put it together.

Aziraphale thought it would be a good idea to check up on Adam. They couldn't just leave him completely alone, him being the anti-christ and all. So the three of you piled into the Bentley and made your way to Tadfield. You and your rather large belly took up a majority of the backseat. Traffic was terrible, as usual, but you made it through with the help of one of your favorite snacks at the moment-- a sauerkraut sandwich. Just two pieces of bread with sauerkraut in between. It grossed out Aziraphale and Crowley, but they knew better than to face the wrath of a pregnant person... especially after they saw how your emotions constantly changed. One moment you were crying over not being able to open a pickle jar by yourself, and the next you were screaming at your phone for charging too slow. Needless to say, they were afraid of being the target of your mood swings.

Crowley led the way through Hogback Wood, while you and Aziraphale walked arm-in-arm behind him. "Please be careful with our lunch, dear." The angel grimaced every time the wicker basket was swung.

"Calm down, Aziraphale. Nothings going to happen to the food," Crowley groaned, "Their hideout is right down here. They'll probably be playing with prop swords or whatnot." You could hear the group of children shouting. Sure enough, they came into view and were swinging long sticks at each other. A boy with brown, curly locked pointed his stick toward you all.

"Halt! Who goes there?"

"Sir Crowley Hellion, accompanied by Lord Aziraphale Inamorato. We brought along our guest, the kind (Y/F/N)." The demon and angel bowed, playing along with the game. You, on the other hand, were too hot and had too big of a belly to be doing such. Instead, you just waved at them. The rest of the group of children appeared, all eyeing the three of you suspiciously.

"What's in the basket?" a boy with dirt all over his face asked. Crowley held up the basket in question, raising a brow.

"Sandwiches."

"For all of us?"

"Yup."

"Did they make 'em?" He pointed his stick towards you. Aziraphale shook his head.

"No, I did." All of the children seemed relieved by this.

"Good. I heard pregnant people like to eat weird stuff on their sandwiches." They all gathered around Crowley as he handed one to each of them.

"You're telling me," he muttered under his breath. Which, thanks so your pregnant superhuman capabilities, didn't escape your hearing.

"Sorry, Crowley, what was that?" The demon froze like a deer caught in headlights. He stuttered for a moment, trying to come up with something clever and not insulting to say. You laughed and pat him on the shoulder. "Calm down! I'm just teasing. Now, hand me one of those sandwiches so I can go sit down. My back is killing me."

Everyone gathered near their fort and ate lunch. You were beginning to have stomach pains, but you blamed it on the sauerkraut combined with all the walking you did. The Them, as you learned they were called, explained the game they were playing. Adam was playing as Henry VIII, Brian and Wensleydale were guards, and Pepper was one of his many wives to be beheaded. The twist? She fought back, not wanting to come to her untimely end just because she was unable to bear a son. "So, what're you having?" Pepper asked.

"A girl," you answered fondly. Three of the Them smiled and congratulated you, but Adam leaned back and sighed.

"Sorry, guess that means you'll have to be beheaded." The children all started giggling, and Crowley snorted. You grimaced, putting a hand on your stomach. Aziraphale watched you worriedly. He placed a gentle hand on your arm.

"Are you alright?" Adam's brows knit together.

"I was just joking. We're not really beheading you." You waved him off.

"Don't worry about it, love. Just having a spell of contractions is all." Crowley leaned forward. Worry filled his features.

"Is the baby coming? Already? Should we leave?" You laughed before grimacing again.

"No, I don't think she's coming yet. I'm not due for another three weeks. But I think it probably is a good idea to head back."

The two helped you back to the Bentley, with the Them trailing behind out of curiosity. Thankfully, you didn't have to walk terribly far. Crowley had managed to park nearby just in case of a moment like this. You all piled into the car and waved the children goodbye. Crowley peeled out of Tadfield, causing Aziraphale to look even more concerned. As you got closer to London, the traffic worsened and so did your contractions. The three of you were sitting in a standstill, and you were groaning in pain in the backseat.

"You know, we've got car parks everywhere... McDonald's, supermarkets, stadiums... the fucking M25!" Crowley screeched, gripping the steering wheel and shaking himself back and forth.

"Crowley! Your screaming is not helping!" Aziraphale huffed.

"Could the both of you please shut up so I can focus on not imploding?" Concern settled deeper into Aziraphale's features, and a hiss escaped Crowley's lips.

"I think we're running out of time," the angel whispered. "We need a miracle." Crowley gave him a look, and Aziraphale nodded. The demon sighed, taking the angel's hand in his own. Reality seemed to warble around the Bentley, which caused you to feel even worse. You ended up hurling, and Crowley let out a string of swears at the sight. "Look! We're at the hospital. Let's get them taken care of before we worry about a perfectly cleanable mess, hm?"

"Fine, but you better be naming this kid after me for all I've been through!"

The two helped you inside to get taken care of, and they were with you for every step of the way. Several hours later, you held your daughter in your arms. She clutched onto Aziraphale's finger, causing him to smile wider than you had ever seen before. Crowley stood behind the angel, trying to look like he wasn't paying much attention and clearly failing. You offered to let him hold the baby, and he accepted without a moment of hesitation. As you watched him carefully cradle the little girl in his arms, you figured this would be the perfect moment to propose the idea you've been harboring for the past month. "I've been thinking about how much you guys have helped me. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for you two. So, I was wondering if maybe the both of you would like to make our little family official by being the godfathers?" Aziraphale gasped, eyes widening. He excitedly looked to Crowley.

"Oh, my dear! Did you hear that? Us... godfathers!" Crowley didn't reply. He just froze for a moment. A tinge of worry went through you. You didn't even consider the possibility of him not wanting to be a godfather. You and Aziraphale shared a look before continuing to stare at Crowley.

"Ngk," he sniffled, "don't look at me. Here, angel, take the kid." Crowley passed the baby off to Aziraphale before furiously rubbing his eyes. You sat up a little more.

"Are you... crying!"

"No!" he said with a defensive hiss. "Okay, maybe I am... just a little... You seriously want me to be a godfather? I can understand him. He's a literal angel, but I'm a demon why would you want me?" You sighed, leaning back into the pillows.

"Crowley, you were the one who was there for me when I needed someone, and you were the one who took me in when I had nowhere to go. Of course, I want you to be my daughter's godfather. I couldn't think of anyone else."

The demon sniffled for a few more minutes before finally composing himself. He watched the infant be placed in the bassinette and smiled. A true, genuine smile. Crowley gently touched the baby's cheek, leaning closer. "Don't worry. I'll try to be a good godfather. If it's the last thing I do, I'll make sure you have a good life, okay?"

~*~*~

Godfathers Tag List; (might be missing some, there was a lot of you lmao)

@justcallmecinammon

@sdavid09

@lokis-sunshine

@spookyconsultingcriminal

@dabbingintoart

@sirkekselord

@strangerthings14

Good Omens Tag List;

@kawaiiusagichansan

@fatbottomedboi

@godhateskyleigh

@drhughgrection

@popbubblegumpop

@shirukitsune

@slithredn

@dabbingintoart

@groupies-do-it-better

Permanent Tag List;

@blitchen

@blitchen-fics

#good omens #ineffable godfathers #good omens x reader #crowley x reader #good omens crowley #good omens crowley x reader #aziraphale #aziraphale x reader #David Tennant #david tennant x reader #michael sheen #michael sheen x reader

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ijustwant2write · 5 years

Text

Demons and Dragons-Crowley x Reader x Aziraphale (Platonic)

(GIF credit to @sherlxdestiel)

Saw a post by @darkshadow3942 and I had to write it! Also this is my first Good Omens post, and I can’t express how much I love this show!!!!

Summary: Imagine being the supposed dragon that was supposedly slain by Saint George. In reality, you’re a simple demon that posed as a dragon after Crowley dared you into it. He still gets a kick out of it to this day every time you two go out for a drink.

Characters: Crowley x Reader (platonic), Aziraphale x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Slight swearing, drinking

(A/N: I just had to include Aziraphale in this and you’ll see why)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“(Y/N)! What the devil are you doing here?” I heard Crowley exclaim as he spotted me.

I was casually leaning against a lamppost, hands in my coat pockets as I watched him emerge from the bookshop his angel friend owned. He sauntered across the road, not bothering to check for cars as a grin beamed across his face.

I smiled back at him.“It’s been quite some time. Needed to get away from everyone down below, you know? Be with someone I can tolerate.”

“Tolerate? So I’ve moved up in the ranks.”

“When someone told me that you were hanging out in a bookshop, I had to come and see it for myself. How come you’re here?”

“Well, you know, anti-Christ, end of the world, usual business.”

I nodded, sensing the sarcasm.“Oh yes, heard about that too.”

“Listen, we should talk about this over a glass of wine!”

“Just a glass?”

Over Crowley’s shoulder, I saw movement coming from the bookshop, a man dressed in variations of whites spotted us, twiddling his thumbs together. Crowley noticed that I wasn’t paying attention to him anymore, spinning around before quickly turning back to me.

“Right, are we going? I know a great place where-”

“Invite the angel.”

His lips were pursed as he went to speak, but he hesitated.“W-what?”

“We can’t leave him by himself! That would just be plain rude.”

“Demons don’t care about manners.”

A slow smirk grew on my face, Crowley’s eyes reflecting worry as he saw; his footsteps were frantic as I made a beeline for the angel, liking the horrified look he was trying to hide.

“Hello, we haven’t met.” I started.“I’m (Y/N), an old friend of Crowley’s, though I suppose you’re a much older friend than I am.”

“We’re not friends.” they simultaneously said, though neither held much conviction in their tone.

My eyes darted between them, before giggling at them.“We were wondering if you would care to join us for a drink?”

“Drinking with demons? I couldn’t possibly fathom-”

“What’s your name?”

“I-it’s Aziraphale.”

“Aziraphale, have you ever heard the term, ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I think that’s what’s going on here. Come on, I’m parched. Where’s a good place to drink round here?”

Leaning back in my chair, I clumsily placed the wine glass down on the table, chuckling quietly to myself as it almost tipped over. Yet again it was empty, though Crowley was quick to fill it back up again. We clinked our glasses, raising them towards each other before necking the wine back again. Poor Aziraphale sat with his own drink, and though he too had drank quite a few, he wasn’t letting loose as much as we were.

Everyone knew (or had suspicions of) these two. They definitely were friends, even if they didn’t want to label it that way. Demons and Angels despised each other, it was a well known fact, even amongst the humans. Good Vs Bad, God’s army against Satan’s. But these two seemed to break the mold. I had been around for just about the same time as them, yet I had never seen another friendship like it. They were able to find loopholes, break the system somehow without even alerting anyone. Yes, people knew, but they didn’t actually know what they were doing together.

“May I ask,” Aziraphale suddenly spoke up,“as to why you are here (Y/N)?”

I cleared my throat, crossing one leg over the other as I swirled my wine around in my glass.“To be completely honest with you, I was bored.”

“Bored?”

“Yes, bored. All anyone went on about down there was the anti-Christ and how many days it was until Armageddon. I mean, doesn’t anyone have anything better to do?”

“I mean, it is the end of the world they’re discussing. Seems like a big thing to me.”

“Yes, but I’m not interested. Everything turned so serious, where’s all the fun nowadays? We used to be able to do anything we liked!”

“Oh!” Crowley raised a finger, falling into hysterics as he tried to speak.“Do...do you....d-do...oh, I’m sorry, just hold on a minute.”

We waited as he continued laughing, the alcohol not helping him recover. He took a deep breath though ended up laughing again. Once he was calm, wiping away the tears in his eyes, he regained his posture, able to speak properly again.

“Do you remember St George?”

I cracked up with laughter too as soon as the name popped up. As we bent over giggling, throwing our heads back when snorting, Aziraphale once again remained silent, watching the two idiot demons lose it.

“St George? Why should she remember him?” Aziraphale asked, looking back and forth between us.

“Because, dear angel,” I spread open my arms in a proud fashion,“I was that dragon that was slain by the saint himself.”

Aziraphale sat up even straighter.“I beg your pardon?”

“Well, dragons are seen as evil beings right? Or used to be anyway. Obviously someone needed to do the job. Crowley was supposed to, but as usual, he found a loophole.”

“Now hang on a second,” Crowley rushed out after drinking from his glass,“we were both bored, and neither of us had an assignment, as you like to call them, like this in years!”

“Alright, if you say so.”

“Plus I don’t like morphing into animals, or mystical beings. It tires me too much.”

“Anyway, Crowley told me the details and insisted that I accept defeat from George.”

“You did?” Aziraphale raised an eyebrow, a small smile starting to form on his face.

“I don’t remember saying that.” Crowley protested.

“How would a simple man defeat a dragon? And if you know me so well, you would know that I wouldn’t accept defeat.”

“Yes, alright, but it was so much more interesting to watch than participate!”

“Hold on for just one moment!” Aziraphale exclaimed.“What happened after George slayed the dragon? Well, to you.”

“He slayed no dragon that day.” I started.“That man froze as soon as he saw me, almost shit his breeches. Before I could swallow him whole, Crowley stopped me. Somehow he convinced me to not eat the Saint-”

“But the dragon wanted human sacrifices, it kidnapped a princess!”

“Yeah, well, you know what our boss is like, a bit over dramatic a times, I’ll admit. When he got bored of that, he got Crowley in to sort out the mess he left behind, who then brought me in. I had no idea about the princess being there, she was annoying. Then George came along, I felt bad for the guy, pretended to be killed....that’s it really.”

“But the chivalry, the bravery-”

“He had none of that, and you made him a Saint.”

Aziraphale sighed.“Oh dear, if upstairs heard of this-”

I interrupted him once again.“They won’t though! It was centuries ago. Everyone was happy. I got to mess around with a good guy, Crowley got his bit of entertainment, and you did your job.”

I raised my glass in a happy fashion, chugging back the Prosecco like it was water. Aziraphale rolled his eyes, tutting at me, though not in a rude way; he was trying to process everything, the poor being. I knew that he would play by the books, he seemed to be the only angel that did nowadays. Crowley hadn’t stopped smirking throughout the story. He leaned back in his chair, one arm hooked around the back of it as he began speaking.

“Sorry I couldn’t tell you. But (Y/N) here is a sore loser.”

I scoffed.“I didn’t lose, I played dead so that some mere mortal would have a chance of living, because you begged me to.”

“See what I mean?”

“Although I am quite displeased by the fact that George didn’t do a good deed in ‘defeating evil’ as it were, I am grateful for what you did (Y/N).” Aziraphale finally smiled.

My face scrunched up at his words, pausing before saying,“What?”

“I put it down to good showmanship. I can imagine you put on quite a show.”

“A total drama queen.” Crowley added.

“Yes, well, I can admit it was a rather riveting performance.” I looked at my nails, distracting myself from the holy forgiveness being bestowed upon me.“Gave me something to do for a while.”

“Come on, admit it,” Crowley nudged me,“you loved it.”

“You know what gentlemen, we should do this more often. There are many stories I could tell you both.”

“Both?”

“Not all of them concern you Crowley.”

“I suppose you’re not that bad really. Why we could make this a daily thing-wait...Oh dear! Crowley, we must get going!”

“Whatever for?” Crowley slurred.

“Armageddon!”

The demon sighed, moaning like a child as he stood.“Yes alright. (Y/N), you need to pop by soon, tell me those stories. Pop by the bookshop anytime.” He slung his jacket over his shoulder, waltzing away as Aziraphale spluttered over his words.

“No! Well I don’t mean to be rude but, you see it’s my bookshop and-”

“Aziraphale, I think you might want to run after him. You do have a world to save.” I grinned.

He nodded, nimbly running after his demon friend. As the opposite pair quickly left, I gazed over the various alcohols left on the table. Crowley had drank almost all of his, though there was still enough left for me, whereas Aziraphale wasn’t as near finished.

I giggled to myself, pulling the beverages closer.“Seems a shame to let this all go to waste. What to start with first?”

#good omens #good omens imagine #good omens imagines #good omens one shot #good omens x reader #crowley #good omens crowley #crowley good omens #crowley imagine #crowley imagines #crowley one shot #crowley x reader #aziraphale #good omens aziraphale #aziraphale good omens #aziraphale imagine #aziraphale imagines #aziraphale one shot #aziraphale x reader

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