#cursed knowledge

[alacetor-the-duckies-deer]

Alastor has the same hair cut as Jane from Peter Pan 2

[bootleg-nessie]

List of Extremely Cursed Knowledge

Having autism and ADHD is a blessing and a curse because on one hand, I’m basically a walking encyclopedia of random facts and information. On the other hand, a fair amount of that information is so fucked up that it’s not socially acceptable to share it with anyone. So naturally, I took every fucked up fact, every bit of twisted trivia, every bit of cursed knowledge that I could come up with off the top of my head and compiled it into one big list to post on the internet. Some of this information may permanently ruin your (you, the reader) perception of certain things. None of this information should have ever seen the light of day, and a fair amount of it was never, ever meant to be known by humans.

You cannot unlearn anything on this list. This is your chance to scroll past.

You have been warned.

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According to FDA standards, a jar of peanut butter is allowed to have up to seven (7) rat hairs before it’s considered unfit for human consumption. If it has 7 or less rat hairs it will still be sold in stores.

If I just ruined peanut butter for you, don’t google the FDA regulations on any other foods you enjoy.

Human teeth have 36 calories each.

The average human body has roughly 125,000 calories. This is actually relatively low, which makes cannibalism in humans generally unsustainable.

Human meat tastes like pork.

Penguins have been observed practicing necrophilia.

Dolphin vaginas secrete a substance that acts like an aphrodisiac on steroids. When scientists swabbed some of it on a chimpanzee’s penis, it masturbated so furiously that it had a heart attack and died.

Dolphins have been known to intentionally commit suicide if kept in poor conditions.

Scientists that work with cockroaches often become allergic due to exposure. Simultaneously, they also develop an allergy to chocolate and pre-ground coffee. Make of that what you will.

Dolphins have been observed masturbating using decapitated fish heads.

Dolphins have been observed getting high on pufferfish venom recreationally, sometimes even passing a pufferfish around like a joint.

There’s a LOT of rape across the entire animal kingdom. Like, a LOT. It’s especially prevalent in dolphins, otters, ducks, penguins, and primates, to name a few.

On a related note, female ducks have corkscrew shaped vaginas. Male ducks also have corkscrew shaped penises that measure in at a whopping eighteen inches.

The barnacle has the largest penis to body size ratio in the animal kingdom, with its penis being up to eight times as long as its body.

Chimpanzees have been observed using frogs as a fleshlight.

A disembodied human head weighs about 10-12 lbs and is balanced in such a way that requires you to use both hands to pick up.

Pigs will eat every single part of a corpse - including bones. In 2012 a farmer in Oregon was eaten by his pigs after having a heart attack and falling in their enclosure. This also makes pig pens a prime spot for dumping bodies.

A body will decompose faster if you fill the rectal cavity with yogurt before burying it

When burying a body, make sure to bury it in a heavily wooded area. If vegetation is too sparse and/or the body isn’t buried deep enough, it will be easily noticeable after a few months because plants will grow in much thicker directly above where the body was buried.

You cannot bury a body in sand, as sand is too porous. The smell will seep through and give away the location

The entire universe could theoretically exist as a false vacuum and collapse into nothingness at any moment without warning.

Any alien civilization advanced enough to detect life on earth is also probably advanced enough to destroy our entire planet almost immediately. At the peak of interstellar technology, the only limiting factor is the speed of light. If they decided to attack, we probably wouldn’t even know it was coming until the entire surface of the planet was already vaporized.

It takes three and a half rotations to fully detach a human head from its body.

Recently deceased bodies can experience rigor erectus, which translates to “death boner.” This is especially common in victims of hanging, as it’s primarily caused by trauma to the cerebellum or spinal cord.

There is an extremely real chance that you have unknowingly purchased a product that was made by modern day slaves at least once in your life. Coffee, cotton, fish, clothes, shoes, and technology are among the most vulnerable industries.

A decapitated head remains conscious for several seconds after separated from the body.

The entire koala population across Australia is currently undergoing a major chlamydia epidemic. It’s actually been extremely devastating for them and they’re currently facing the threat of extinction because of it.

[raisedbythetv89]

I just started watching White Collar for the first time and a realization about most male written and directed media smacked me DIRECTLY in the face which is that SO MUCH media written by a for men is genuinely just male nerd self insert, non-canon compliant, AU fan fiction??????

Like them writing and creating stories is just “ok so these guys are soooo smooth and well dressed and women just flock to them at every turn and they can get away with anything and everyone believes and supports them when they do mess up and everyone thinks they’re sooooo brilliant”

This media isn’t just portraying women “for the male gaze” it’s EVERYTHING. Everything in these stories is supporting and uplifting mens’ delusions about who they are, how they’re perceived, and how they should expect to be treated. Which is incredibly ironic because anytime media portrays women or the world in the female gaze in a more “in my ideal world things would be like this” instead of portraying us as nothing but weak, broken, unloved, traumatized, victims OR one dimensional sex symbols with no needs or emotions they’re screaming, crying, throwing up about how stupid and unrealistic the story is….

This explains SO MUCH about how male characters are handled in shows like Veronica Mars and Buffy. Even though they’re shows staring women all the “good guys” get the delusional self insert, y/n, AU fan fic treatment (Buffy still wants Angel in season 3 and Riley in season 6 even after everything they did and Xander is CONSTANTLY forgiven for all the atrocious shit he says and does and is wanted by all women besides Buffy. Veronica forgiving Duncan and getting back together with him and even CONSIDERING Piz could truly only be born from men being delusional AS FUCK. Writing how they want men to be treated by women rather than being based in reality and the woman having even an ounce of self respect.)

Which is why the “bad boys”, Logan and Spike are such better characters. They’re so much more realistic, they get held accountable by the women in their lives, have better growth and are just way more appealing and attractive because they’re not the walking embodiment of what MEN want men to be treated and act like.

Oh god this feels like such cursed knowledge to have like it’s important to see this media for what it really is but now watching it feels that much yuckier like finding the porn of someone you DO NOT LIKE but like their emotional porn “this is what life would be like in my fantasies” and they’re the fantasies of the grossest men alive 😭😭😭😭😭

Also it shows their emotional maturity like all of these things are what 13 year old boys fantasize about not actual mature, grown men….

Also just realized this is why the Star Wars sequels were so hated. It wasn’t just Rey being powerful and loved by her found family and Kylo. It was that the movies showed the reality of men like Kylo. They destroyed the male fantasy Darth Vader created. They aren’t super cool, powerful badasses. They’re extremely sad, broken, temper tantrum throwing lost little boys who just want love and acceptance but have lost the ability to accept it because of the dark side (aka the patriarchy) which is the reality and that made me SOOOOO ANGRY lololololololol and this is why Joss Whedon THOUGHT making Spike into a sad pathetic mama’s boy of a poet would make the audience not like him because that DOES work on misogynistic men who enjoy the male gaze but does NOT work and only humanizes and makes Spike even more complex and lovable to the female gaze 💀💀💀💀 oh good lord

[thefalloutwiki]

Pictured: The Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel press kit. Inside was a disc with media assets, a water bottle, a first aid kit, and a flashlight.

Some of the kits also contained condoms and a video named "A guide to post-nuclear intimacy."

If you have this press kit, we would be interested in acquiring it for archival purposes.

You can read more about the marketing of Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel here.

Our friend Triangle City has also made a video about A guide to post-nuclear intimacy which you can see here.

[treemaidengeek]

cursed knowledge: Dancing Baby is old enough to have a PhD and/or several of their own children

[buff-muffin]

I hope you all know I will never think Ace is cool or attractive and its all because of that damn hat he wears. And it’s not because it’s a cowboy hat. Because it’s not you are all incorrect in calling it that and if the OPLA makes it a cowboy hat a part of my soul will die. BECAUSE ITS VERY CLEARLY ONE OF THOSE WIDE BRIM HATS YOU WEAR IN PRIMARY SCHOOL.

IT’S THE SAME FUCKING HAT

[legitimatesatanspawn]

Cursed things I enjoy telling friends:

In the comics, Organic Webshooter Spider-Man is a destructive copy and the original Peter Parker turned into a giant spider and died to patch in that ability.

A dead witch possessed Bowser resulting in something not quite Koopa and not quite Witch.

Radiation's Halloween Hack (Earthbound) is where Megalovania is from.

Hojo is Sephiroth's biological father but Sephiroth didn't know who his father was. (OG PS1) Hojo canonically fucks, unfortunately.

Mr Mime's hair is flesh.

Goofy canonically fucks in multiple different canons.

And to mess with friends who take LotR too seriously yet only watch the films and claim the books are too long: the whole existence ofTom Bombadil, elves have spaceships, werewolves and vampires exist, Elrond's bio parents became a bird and a star, and not only did Sauron once lose a fight to a dog but he also struggled in an operatic rap battle.

[fanby-fckry]

If you need proof that we are NOT living in the worst timeline…

Just remember, if Hazbin was live action, Angel’s extra arms would be CGI.

[inquisitor-gayfax]

Looks like my loose prediction was correct and we're getting a 1:6 scale Celestine model out of the Weta Workshop collab!!

Pros: you can now have a giant winged lesbian for your coffee table

Cons: for the low price of $1,400

[chronicallydragons]

There’s someone in our dnd campaign right now who’s playing a tortle and I finally got to impart my knowledge of cloacal respiration in some species of turtles. I’ve been sitting on this for months. Desperate to inform the whole table that some turtles can breathe through their butts. And tonight was the night. And now they all know.

[misticfog]

Jakby tak o tym pomyśleć Warszawa to jeden z najstarszych shipnameów.

[theentireobjectshowcommunity]

2763 is just bfdi’s 413

[gotstabbedbyapen]

Dear Tumblr,

Today, I've learned that when your poop drops into the toilet water and splashes onto your butt, it is called "Poseidon's Kiss."

Mother. Fucking. Poseidon's Kiss.

I will never recover from receiving this cursed knowledge.

Love,

The Pen

P/S: I wonder what Amphitrite, Nerites and Pelops think about this when they got lots of kisses from Poseidon.

[blot-squisher]

Evan and Dwight are STG:L2 Romeo and Juliet.

[to-the-stars8]

WHO

WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME THAT THE GUY THAT VOICED TEENAGE JASON TODD IN UTRH WAS ALSO THE GUY WHO VOICED PHINEAS FROM PHINEAS AND FERB??