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#cutie pie squared
batsyvie · 4 months
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May 12th —> Clue, May 13th and 14th COMBINED!!!! —> Heavenly Hosts//Agents of Hell, where Aziracrow are too busy internally monologuing to realise that the others are already fraternising (haha what if aziracrow set a precedent for angels and demons feeling free enough to love each other hahahaha [dm for free essay]), May 15th —> Promotion, May 16th —> 1827, May 17th —> Inspector Constable MY BELOVED!! crowley is still deciding whether they are a walking fashion faux pas, or if they’re onto something with the chinos/plaid skirt/bowtie/cardi combo.
Transcript for Slide Two’s rambling i formally apologise for the excuse that I call my handwriting
Aziraphale: Oh, dearest…How I yearn for you…But our love is 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖇𝖎𝖉𝖉𝖊𝖓…No blasphemy burdens me more than the steadfast belief that you are better than Heaven…
Crowley: Damn it all…Even Fallen I’ll never escape Heaven’s cruel ordinance…I must keep my overwhelming adoration hidden under the guise of practiced nonchalance…⛓️🥀🐺
these are all pretty scrappy, MUCH APPOHIES!!! ApOLOGIES****
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benevolentdinosaur · 3 months
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1 single unit of cat
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kwehgal · 5 months
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🪶 🏁 🥇 🏆 CHOCOBO SQUARE
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tender-rosiey · 1 year
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hinting — gojo satoru x f!reader
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a/n: thank @callmemirro for the bby fever idea but the video of the baby is what fueled the fire even more
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you have a feeling that something has been plaguing your husband’s mind. it’s not a bad thing—like that way too expensive pea-sized handbag he wanted to get just to clown it.
it’s actually good and adorable especially with the way it gets him all smiley and bubbly.
you also started to notice when exactly he gets into these moods or rather regarding what.
for example, you were browsing the store once for new clothes. you and satoru agreed to split to search on a wider scale for discounts.
so when he came back, all smiley and excited, you expected a 50% sale or something. instead, you got surprised with possibly the cutest baby pajama ever.
“what do you think, babe? it’s so cute especially the little smiling duck in the middle!”
you take it from him, examining it up close. truthfully, the material is pretty good and it is soft on the skin. there is only one problem though.
you look up to your husband with a smile, “but, honey, we don’t have a baby.”
satoru deflates for a single second before standing up straight, proud, “hey, now! we can always get it for future plans,” he ogles you, but you quickly pinch his nose.
“haha, very funny.” you start pushing the cart towards that one outfit you liked with satoru following close by.
“y/n, I am serious!” he whines as his hand finds home on your waist.
“and I am a dinosaur in disguise.”
he gasps, “really?!”
“no.”
and that happened more than once.
another thing is that satoru has been obsessed with baby videos.
you remember that one time you were chilling on your beloved couch when he came stumbling into the room, clutching his phone and almost dying of laughter, “y/n! y/n! look at this baby!”
satoru is wheezing as he replays the video over and over again. his uncontrollable laughter is music to your ears, but you feel that you’re going to have to take him to a therapist or a mental hospital.
he laughs loudly for sure, but he has been like this for 4 hours, showing you a baby video every minute or so.
you look at him with sympathy as he cackles, “it was so ready to square up too—huh, what’re you doing?”
you pull him into your embrace and he immediately melts, arms wrapping around you in an instant.
you gently rub his back and press a kiss to the top of his head, “my poor baby,” you coo and gojo lights up: have you finally understood what he has been hinting at?
you cup his face and kiss his cheeks, “work must’ve taken quite a toll on you; we can go to the hosp—“
“hey! that’s just mean!”
he huffs moving away and giving you his back, but then he looks back at you, “but the baby was cute, right?”
you laugh, resting your chin on his shoulder, “yeah, in a way, it reminded me of megumi.”
“you’re so right! even as a first-grader, he was so ready to fight anyone.”
another memorable incident happened when you were in a park, taking a walk with your darling husband.
it was peaceful, accompanied by the squeals of children, the coolness of the ice cream, and the comfort of your husband’s presence. speaking of which, where’s that guy?
you look around, searching for a very prominent walking paintbrush. you blink once, twice, and he is finally in front of you with a huge grin, “y/n, look at this cutie pie I just met!”
you soften at the sight of the giggling baby in his arms. the little baby girl reaches out for you and you cradle her in your arms.
cooing at her, you rock gently while making silly faces and it makes her laugh a laugh from her belly. it also makes a certain someone sport the most lovesick smile known to existence.
smiling, you look at your husband, “where did you find her? was she lost?”
your husband sweatdrops and looks to the side, glasses showing off his bright blue eyes, “about that—“
“there he is, officer! he took my baby!”
so yeah, something is up with your husband, and you have had enough with him hiding it from you. god is on your side today as you’re finally able to back him into a corner and finally interrogate him.
“satoru, is there something you want to tell me?” you ask the man, breathless after running around the school for a couple of hours.
silence occupies the room before your husband finally gives in.
he takes a deep breath and hugs you, resting his head on your shoulder, “I want…” he mumbles, “I want a baby, please?”
you are silent for a moment then you make him look you in the eyes, “really?”
“really,” he says, voice unwavering, “I know that it might be scary, but we have experience with tsumiki and megumi, and they turned out just fine!” he starts rambling, “except for megumi, he can be bratty sometimes, but point is!” he holds your hands in his, “I want to start a family with you, but if you don’t want—“
“okay.”
“—to I completely understand and…wait—did you just say okay?”
“yeah,” you beam, “let’s have a baby. you could’ve said that right away, silly.”
he stares at you for a bit, “do you have any idea how LONG I HAVE BEEN—“
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copyright © tender-rosiey
do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported
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chained-sweater · 1 month
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two-bit: i will not hesitate to fight anyone who talks shit about my marcia.
marcia: *looking at her reflection in a mirror* urgh...i'm so ugly..
two-Bit, throwing their jacket off and getting into a fighting stance: ALRIGHT, CUTIE PIE, SQUARE UP.
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thus-spoke-lo · 1 year
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A Hayride for a Hayride // slimeball Taxi Driver!Zoro x afab!reader // NSFW/18+ Written for @bastardblvd's House of Slimy Horrors Collab
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Synopsis: Your date to the Grimetown Halloween festival cancelled on you last-minute, leaving you with nothing to do. Luckily, a certain moss-haired taxi driver lifeguard hayride operator offers you a free ride to get your mind off things, and you're soon in for the ride of your life. CW: slimeball au; afab!reader; no pronouns used for reader; mild action violence; vaginal fingering; unprotected vaginal intercourse; mild degradation WC: 5.4k // Fictober Masterlist
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The sun descends in the evening sky over Grimetown, glowing through the permanent haze that hangs over the city and painting the landscape in tangerines and golds. You make your way around the festival grounds, sipping at something that tastes close enough to apple cider—you know better than to ask too many questions about the contents of beverages around here. The autumn leaves crunch under your boots as you traipse around, stopping to watch a fistfight that appears to be the result of a rigged pumpkin pie-eating contest—you’re rooting for the guy in the McDonald’s uniform.
The smell of all things greasy and sweet lures you towards the food stalls, and you almost consider trying the rat on a stick (rat isn’t in quotation marks but it’s gotta be a joke…they wouldn’t, would they?) when a noodly blonde man with a curly eyebrow poking out from his mop of blonde hair leans over the counter of the Flapjack Shack’s stall and begins to explain the complicated history of the humble omelet to you in between thinly-veiled innuendos. You nod and smile and wait for another customer to walk by in order to make your escape, plunking down at the edge of a fountain in the middle of the square, thick, white, foamy substance sloppily bubbling away inside. You would think they would have dyed the goopy substance green or something given the occasion, and you run a finger through the viscous liquid, wondering why the texture feels awfully familiar.
A sudden buzzing in your pocket pulls you away from thinking too hard about what you just dipped your hand into, but a quick glance at the message preview sends your fluttering heart right into a meat grinder.
[Soggy Man]: I’m still stuck at work, I’m so sorry. I don’t think I’ll make it tonight.
[You]: Yuuta noooo ☹ how come you’re stuck? Aren’t you closed?
[Soggy Man]: last minute customer came by for an inspection
“An inspection?” you mutter, narrowing your eyes as though he’d feel your questioning glance through the screen.
[You]: I thought you only did those in the morning
[Soggy Man]: well you know how it is, sometimes I have to make exceptions
You wonder if this is the type of exception that all DMV employees were inclined to give, or if it’s more like the exception he made to waive your registration renewal fee when you offered to blow him behind the counter after hours. Either way, this isn’t exactly the best way to start off your attempt at a real first date, not after weeks of back and forth, navigating your ever-changing shifts at the coffee shop, and his abrupt late-night work hours.
[You]: No worries! I understand!
[Soggy Man]:  I’m sorry cutie, hope you have fun without me
[You]: it’s ok! I know how to entertain myself.
[You]: we’ll try again some other time!
“Well, shit.” You shove your phone back into your pocket with a sigh that turns into a groan that turns into a momentary existential crisis—this was the seventh first date you’d tried to set up recently, and the sixth first date where you got ghosted before ever getting to try to disappoint them in person. Not waiting to see if Yuuta has anything else to add, you wander off, glancing around the packed festival in search of something—anything—to occupy your unexpected free time.
As you pass the shoddily assembled Ferris wheel, watching it shimmy with every rotation, threatening to come unbolted and roll away at any moment, a light fog starts to accumulate at your feet. It stinks, and not like how you remember fog machines to smell from your glory days as a stagehand at the Grimetown Community Theater; no, this is thick, and pungent, and a little nauseating. You walk deeper into the foul-smelling haze, and glance down to see the cause—a stubbed-out cigar rolls towards your feet, a few stray embers spraying out across the dirt.
“You alright, honey?” a low voice rumbles from just beyond the dissipating vapors. “You look like something’s wrong.”
You cough and sputter, waving your hand in front of you to clear the remaining cloud of smoke and see a man with green hair and a tanned complexion standing with his back against a wooden wagon, his extraordinarily muscled arms crossed over his broad chest, a thin white t-shirt straining to contain his brawny form. Three gold earring jingle softly as he cocks his head to examine you with his one good eye, and you wonder if the scar over his other eye is real or fabricated for the occasion.
“I’m fine, thanks,” you fib, stuffing your hands in your pockets as you stroll towards him. The last thing you want right now is some burly stranger trying to play therapist when what would actually solve your problems is guzzling pumpkin-spice flavored alcohol and stuffing your face with candy apples, then passing out in that weird gloopy fountain ‘til sunrise.
“Come on now.” He raises an eyebrow and gives you a pitying grin. “You sure you’re okay?”
You kick at the ground with the toe of your boot and huff a sigh. “Fine. I, uh—I got stood up.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. Dude texted me after I already got here saying he couldn’t come, and I don’t want to waste my ticket, so now I’m just kinda in limbo and not really sure what to do.”
“Pretty thing like you gettin’ stood up on a nice night like this?” He gestured towards the darkened sky, the moon covered in a dense mess of clouds, silver beams poking through and illuminating the space between you. “It’s a damned shame.”
“Tell me about it,” you chuckle in agreement.
“You know,” he says, running his tongue over his lower lip, “I’m technically supposed to wait until there’s a big group before I head out, but—I could give you a ride. A private one.”
“A private ride, huh?” You inhale sharply through your teeth and your eyes flit over his muscled form. A private ride with some grimy eye candy doesn’t sound like a bad way to recover from a hefty blow to your ego. “How much is it?”
“It’s free. Comes with your ticket.”
“You know what? Sure, why the hell not?”
“That’s what I hoped you’d say,” he grins, giving an exaggerated wink. “Don’t you worry—I’ll make you forget all about that loser.”
You head towards the back of the wagon, expecting there to be a step to hoist yourself inside, when a strong hand grabs your wrist and tugs you back.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks as you stumble backward into him, your back pressing against his firm chest, sending a little spark down your spine.
“I—I was getting in the cart.”
“Oh, now that’s just for regular, everyday hayrides.” He grasps your hand and leads you towards the front of the cart, gesturing towards the bench that sits just behind the horses; he places his warm hands on your shoulders and gives them a gentle squeeze. “Private tours get the best seat in the house.”
You climb aboard and he follows, letting out a quiet, satisfied-sounding groan as he settles in beside you, scooting closer until his warm body presses right against yours. The bench is more than long enough to afford you both some personal space, but it seems the private tour also comes with the bonus of physical affection and suggestive flirtation—not that you’re complaining. The hayride operator reaches over and pats your thigh. “Alright. Where to?”
“Uh, I don’t know.” You shrug and gesture vaguely in front of you. “Where do you normally take this thing?”
“Oh yeah.” He furrows his brow. “Sorry, I’m just used to my day job.”
“What do you do for your day job?”
“Lifeguard.”
“Wait, wh—” Your inquiry is cut short as the horses take off, jostling you and pitching you forward, then back. As you try to right yourself, something shiny catches your eye; you glance over and see three sheathed swords nestled in the hay just behind you.
“Say, hayride guy,” you ask, reaching over to poke at them, “what are these for?”
He grunts and brushes your hand away without looking over. “Protection.”
“Protection from what?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Ah, he must be doing a bit—they’re props. You smirk, settling back onto your seat, leaning your head against his sturdy shoulder as you listen to the steady clip-clop of the horses and the rhythmic squeak of the wagon’s wheels, the only sounds in the depths of the darkened forest. The festival is low-budget, to say the least, but they cared enough about attention to detail to have the hayride operator carrying swords; you start to wonder if this is supposed to be a haunted hayride, and perhaps your beefy driver will be showing off his faux-sword skills before the end, fighting off a zombie horde or two.
You sigh as you press your cheek against his bicep and try to ignore the troublesome feeling inside you—that maybe Yuuta was trying to get a hold of you, that you should have just waited longer to see if his late-night inspection was over quickly enough he could join you. The phone in your pocket has been silent for some time now, and you carefully pull it out, just to check; no signal at all, and no texts, only a notification about your rent being overdue again.
“Hey. Don’t let him get you down, sweet cheeks.” He covers the screen of your phone and pushes it down into your lap, leaving his hand there for a moment, precariously close to the apex of your thighs. His touch is warm, radiating a kind of animalistic heat—one that feels a little too raw, and little too dangerous. He smirks, making some clicking noise at the horses as you wind your way through the deepening woods. “You know, I think you could do better than him, anyway.”
I bet you do, you grin to yourself as your limbs flood with heat and your stomach twists in knots, chewing on your lower lip at the way his muscles flex with every flick of the reigns. You feel a fire lighting at the base of your spine the longer you stare at him, the longer your body seems to melt into his as you snuggle closer along the trail—perhaps you’ll have to pay him a visit after the festival closes and see if he offers any after-hour tours. He certainly seems amenable to the idea, and it had been a while since the last time you’d been bent over a piece of farm equipment and railed in a spooky, secluded wood after all. You start to wonder if he’s all bluster, or if he’s adept at putting his big hands and his smart mouth to good use.
The fog of lust in your head starts to clear a little and you glance around, not recognizing the trees and landscape in front of you, the horses trotting over a layer of decaying leaves instead of the paved path that had been stretching out ahead of you. No, the woods directly behind the festival grounds aren’t this dense, the branches don’t hang this low, the air is never this still.  You sit up, a sense of dread creeping up into your throat, and tap the driver on his forearm with a shaking hand.
“Hey, uh, hayride guy?”
“It’s Zoro,” he grouses.
“Right. Zoro.” You swallow hard, an icy shiver running down your spine as a cold wind whips through the trees. “So…where are we, anyway?”
“Tch, we’re on the trail,” Zoro scoffs as he glances around. He suddenly sits up straight, his mouth opening and closing, only faint sounds of confusion coming out. “Or, uh…we were.”
“What do you mean ‘we were’? Don’t the horses know where to go?”
“They don’t have built-in GPS, they just go straight until I tell ‘em to not go straight.”
“So where the hell are we, then?” The skin on your arms prickles underneath your thick sweater and acid roils in your belly, that sense of dread that sits in your throat threatening to push its way out.
“Well, we’re in the woods.”
“I know that!”
“Don’t worry your pretty head about it, okay?” It feels like he’s reassuring himself just as much as he’s trying to calm your frayed nerves, as if the machinations in his mind are just starting to turn, to decide where you go from here. Zoro stretches and wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him; he smells like stale cigars and sweat and too much cheap body spray and it’s the most intoxicating thing you’ve inhaled all night. “Look, I can get us out of this. They don’t call me the world’s strongest hayride operator for nothin’.”
You slowly look up at him. “Is that—is that a thing? Do people actually call you that?”
“Ha! Exactly.”
A scream abruptly fills the air, cutting through the eerie quiet, followed by another, then another—the strangled cries for help of someone, or something, in distress. Zoro pulls you in closer, his fingers digging into your shoulder as you bury your face against his chest. It’s just part of the show, you tell yourself, choking on a shuddering breath. It’s just part of the show, and some dude in a shitty costume is gonna run out of the woods any minute and try to scare me. After a few agonizing moments, the bloodcurdling shrieks finally die down, the pained noises reducing to pathetic whimpers and then…silence.
“You know, you’re pretty cute when you’re scared.”
Before you can say something equally flirtatious back, the horses come to a sudden halt; they whinny and stomp in place, clearly disturbed by something that only they can sense.
“Zoro…what’s going on?” It’s just part of the show, it’s just part of the show…
“I dunno,” he says, making soft noises at the horses to soothe them, his hand moving down and settling on your thigh protectively. “Something’s got them all riled up.”
The quality of the performance is good, you force yourself to think as he squints into the near-darkness, but his delivery could be more authentic. You join him in his scan of your surroundings, searching the foggy woods for whatever had frightened the horses, their heads bobbing and nostrils flaring at something in the distance. Leaves crunch and branches crack as something approaches, its pace slow and hesitant, a low growling emanating from the darkness—the sound effects are impressive, and you try to find the hidden speakers within the foggy haze.
“Zoro,” you mumble quietly, as you wrap your arm around his waist and cling to him, “I think there’s something up there.”
“Where?” He leans forward, peering into the shadowy distance.
“Right—right there.” You gasp as you see the source of the noise ambling out of the woods. “Oh my god, it’s a dog—it looks like it’s hurt!”
Without another thought, you hop down from the cart and carefully approach the dog, who slinks closer to you, eyeing you cautiously with each step. The moonlight peers through the clouds and illuminates the creature, its dark grey fur stained with blood, bits of viscera clinging to the matted hair around its face.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Zoro shouts from the cart. “Get back here and stay on the wagon.”
“What? It’s fine, it’s all part of the show isn’t it?” Surely this was just someone’s pet, doused in red corn syrup and set loose as part of the haunted hayride.
“What show? This is just a hayride.”
“Sure, I got you.” You wink and snap finger-guns at him confidently, and turn your attention back to the injured pup. “Here doggie! C’mere sweetie, let me—oh my god.”
Your mouth drops open and a gasp pushes its way out of your lungs—the dog, you realize, is no dog at all.
The creature that stalks out of the woods appears to be a wolf, its eyes burning bright like smelted gold, teeth bared and lips curled back into a snarl, its fangs dripping with strings of blood-reddened saliva. You freeze in place, arms outstretched, hoping your vaguely threatening posture is enough to keep the wolf at bay as your heart hammers in your ribcage and your breathing comes in fits and starts. It senses something in you—fear, hesitation, weakness—and approaches slowly, one carefully placed paw at a time, sniffing the air and growling more desperately with every whiff of you that it catches.
“Get back.”
A strong hand on your shoulder jerks you back and shoves you towards the wagon. Zoro now stands in front of you—his shirt is gone, revealing a smooth expanse of streamlined muscle and sinew rippling under bronzed skin, a black bandana is tied around his head, and he wields his three swords, one in each hand, and the third held between his teeth. He widens his stance and maintains his position as the wolf approaches more boldly now, barking and growling, steam from its warm breath rising into the air. The creature leaps at him and he quickly crosses the two swords in front of him to block its attack, the metal shaking as he grunts and shoves the wolf back.
“Three-Sword-Style,” Zoro shouts, the words muffled by the sword still clenched between his teeth, “Grime Tornado!”
A strong gust of air suddenly swirls in front of him and disburses with great force, pushing the wolf backward as it struggles to stay standing until it’s shoved to the edge of the woods. The air settles, and the wolf pauses for a moment, teeth still glimmering in the moonlight, eyes glowing like embers, before it runs off into the trees again, its howls lingering in the still air. Zoro lowers his arms, letting the tips of his blades point towards the ground as he walks towards you, his broad chest heaving with every panting breath.
“I told you to stay in the damned wagon,” he mumbles through the sword still tucked between his clenched teeth. He walks over to the cart and carefully sheaths the three swords again, giving them a reassuring pat before turning to glare at you. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“It—it was all part of the show, right?” Your hands tremble, the wolf’s glowing eyes still appearing behind your eyelids with every blink; the way they pierced you was unnerving, almost as if there was something human about them.
And the blood. The blood looked so—so real.
“I still don’t know what you’re talking about,” he grunts as he walks over to you, scooping you up with startling ease and carrying you back to the wagon. He plops you down in the back like a sack of rice, your backside landing in a soft pile of hay, and he glowers at you. “Don’t get back out again. Not for anything. Understand?”
You nod, and the desire to jump into his burly arms again courses through you. As frightened as you are, the sight of him, shirtless and flexing, moving with a grace and speed you hadn’t expected from him, has a stranglehold on you—if he’d asked to bend you over right then and there, you would have gladly thanked him for his hard work and offered him payment in the form of whatever part of your body he most preferred.
“Thanks for saving me, Zoro.”
He grunts in response and jostles the reigns, the horses taking their cue and trotting off into the depths of the woods again. You pull your knees up to your chest and lean against a hay bale, your eyes focused on Zoro the whole time; he glances back now and again, quick looks of concern at first, then of something else, something that feels far less virtuous.
The horses seem to find their way back onto the path with some degree of ease, and before long, you can see the festival off in the distance, smell the greasy mystery meats-on-sticks, hear the noise that passes for music as some local band plays royalty-free Halloween music.
The wagon comes to an abrupt halt, the festival almost within reach—you can almost touch the goopy fountain again. Zoro heaves his arm over the divider that separates the two of you, leaning his bare torso towards you. “Listen. We need to talk.”
“Look, Zoro, let me be the first to say—I think the ride was spectacular,” you start to ramble, your hands gesturing wildly as you speak. “And I promise I won’t say anything to anyone about the—well, whatever the fuck happened back there. Or the, uh—the flirting. Not that I minded! I mean, I don’t know if it’s the most professional way of giving private rides, but it was, you know…appreciated. If you need me to fill out a survey about your services, I can certainly—”
“You talk too damned much, calm down.” He places a thick finger over your lips to shush you, leaning in until his face is just inches from yours. “Now listen to me very carefully, honey—you owe me.”
Your breath quickens, your chest rising and falling rapidly, and an aching heat that you had been trying to ignore begins to grow in your core. “For—for what? You said the hayride was free.”
“It is.” He licks his lips and raises a wide hand to your face, cupping your chin. “But the saving your life part is extra.”
“I—I’m sorry, I don’t have any money to give you,” you stammer, your voice a husky whisper. Your gaze flits over his face, noticing a certain predatory glint in his eye, a hunger lingering on the upturned corners of his lips. “I left my wallet at home.”
“Oh sweetheart,” he coos, stroking your cheek with the rough pad of his thumb, “I don’t want your money.”
“What do you want then?”
“Same thing you do.”
You bite your lip shyly, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes in your best approximation of an innocent glance. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Tch. I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me since you found me. The way you wrapped your arms around me when you were scared—and even when you weren’t.” He climbs over the wooden divide and into the wagon with you, kneeling in front of you and placing his hands on your thighs. “You’re really gonna try to play the coy thing? Because it’s not workin’ for you.”
“No?” He’s big—so big—and his body almost engulfs you as he leans in and grips the edge of the cart behind you, his massive arms caging you in on either side, his broad chest almost pressed to yours.
“Nah. See, I what I think is,” he murmurs into your ear, warm breath spreading across your chilled skin, “that you want the big, strong guy who saved your life to make you forget all about that little shit that stood you up.”
Without another thought—your mind drained of all rational notions, left only with fleeting images of how he’d look on top of you, behind you, underneath you—you lean up and kiss him impulsively, your lips crashing against his hard and fast, trying to satisfy a need that had been growing all night. He inhales sharply at the sudden kiss, then places one hand at the back of your head to hold you in place as he claims your mouth, parting your lips with his tongue before plunging it into your mouth and entwining it with yours. His free hand roams up the hem of your sweater, groping at your breasts, tugging at the fabric of your bra until his thumb finds your hardened nipple. He makes firm circles over it and your back arches as warm, gentle waves of pleasure move through you, and he groans at the way you writhe under his touch.
“Bet you wanna get fucked, don’t you?” he growls against your lips, his grip on the nape of your neck tightening. He lets out a low chuckle as you nod and whimper, your hands moving down his bare torso towards the waistband of his pants, palm brushing against the sizeable bulge that strains against the fabric. “Mm, somebody’s needy. Lay down for me, then—let’s settle up what you owe.”
You obediently recline in the hay and kick your boots off, stripping yourself of your jeans with a frantic urgency; Zoro moves down between your legs, nudging them apart to kneel between them. He drags two fingers up your clothed slit, his fingertips catching on dampened cotton, and a satisfied hum vibrates in his chest as he finally takes in the extent of your arousal.
“This for me?” he purrs, pressing down against your clit, rubbing you through your panties until your legs tremble and your hands grasp at flimsy pieces of straw.
“D-don’t flatter yourself.”
“You sure? I don’t see anyone else around here to make your pussy this wet.” He grabs the waistband of your panties and pulls them down over your hips, stripping you of them and tossing them behind him. He quickly undoes his trousers and slides them down his lean hips, his cock springing forth from the confines of his pants. Your jaw goes slack at the sight of it—thick and veiny, sitting heavy in his palm as he slowly strokes himself for you, the head growing redder and more swollen with every vulgar caress. 
“Think you can handle it?” He lets a wad of saliva drip from his lips and onto his cock, spreading it over his impressive length until it glistens in the moonlight.
“Think so,” you whimper back, spreading your thighs a little wider to accommodate him as he moves on top of you, aligning his hips with yours. Zoro wastes no time in collecting his payment for his earlier heroics and slowly pushes into you, stretching you with every agonizing inch that slides inside; little sparks of pleasure ignite in your limbs, and that deep ache in your core grows with every bit of his fat cock that he bullies inside you.
“There you go,” he growls as he finally fills you completely and his pelvis presses against yours. “Took it all like a good little whore.”
You wrap your arms around his neck and nip and kiss at his jaw. “Not a whore.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, honey,” he coos condescendingly, his hips rocking just enough to give you a few tentative, shallow thrusts. “Would you prefer ‘slut’ instead?”
“I’d prefer you sh—” Your words are quickly cut off by the gasp that shoves its way out of your lungs as he pulls out and plunges inside again, knocking against something inside you that makes your eyes go bleary and your fingers tingle.
Zoro’s thrusts are quick and feral, the kind that make you pulse and press your thighs into his hips, the kind that make your hands grasp for anything within reach—his bulging biceps, his mossy hair, a handful of hay underneath you—anything to ground yourself as he fills you again and again until all he is all there is. He drives into you over and over, and you lift your hips upward to meet his, deepening every plunge until you’re bucking and arching and colliding in a seamless rhythm.
“Touch yourself for me,” Zoro grunts as he slows his movements to angle his hips, and his cockhead drags against that sweet spot inside of you. “I bet you look so fucking good when you cum, pretty little slut.”
Your eyes flutter shut as you reach down and move your fingers over your clit, already swollen and pulsing with need. A moan of pleasure claws its way out of you and you writhe and thrash under him while he watches closely, his gaze focused on your face, his jaw hanging open the more your expression twists and contorts in pleasure. That tension in your belly winds tighter and tighter with every plunge of his length inside you and every swift movement of your fingers over your sensitive bud, until your body is trembling and your muscles are seizing and you mumble something unintelligible about being close, so close, so very, very close.
“That’s it,” Zoro rasps, his cock throbbing inside you as you start to tighten around him, “now cum on this big cock for me.”
A profound heat spreads throughout your lower half as you tense and release in waves of shaking spasms; you wail his name, not caring who or what that may lurk in the forest hears you, as your cunt pulls him further in. Zoro moans quietly and fucks into you with messy, erratic thrusts, hitting you so deep that it almost hurts, bordering on that delicious line between pain and pleasure. His breaths are shallow and fast, his teeth clenched, his body beginning to shake as your fluttering cunt urges him towards his climax.
“Fuck, sweetheart—you feel so damned good, gonna make me cum for you.” A long, low groan carries in the air as he quickly pulls out of you and jerks himself off, his hips tensing and shuddering as his aching cock throbs, coating your stomach with his thick, white spend. He bucks into his fist, milking every last bit of cum from his pulsating length, and collapses next to you, heaving a satisfied moan in between deep, panting breaths.
As you begin to reassemble yourself and pull hay out of random crevices, you feel a vibration against your foot—your phone is buzzing in the pocket of your discarded jeans.
[Soggy Man]: Hey I made it! did you still want to meet up?
“Aw, shit.” You glance over at Zoro, busy catching his breath, his chest rising and falling as his hands settle on his stomach. His toned body glistens with sweat in the moonlight, his half-hard cock laying against his thick thigh, leaking onto his bronzed skin; if it weren’t for the fact he was technically on the clock and you were technically now on a date, you would gladly spend the rest of your night right here, just outside the noise and the lights and the people, indulging in a little more holiday hedonism.
[You]: in a little while. I’m on a hayride right now
[Soggy Man]: that sounds fun! we should go together when you get back
“Hey, uh…can I ask you something?” You sit up and fumble for your jeans again, pulling your wallet out of a back pocket. “How much would you want to, um—to keep quiet about what just happened?”
“Hm.” He puts his hands behind his head and stares up at the night sky, considering his options for a moment. “Give me a taste of that slutty little pussy of yours and we’ve got a deal.”
“I suppose I can’t say no to that,” you whisper under your breath, your cunt fluttering at the thought of him between your legs again.
“Hey…what’s this?” Zoro rolls over and snatches the wallet out of your hand, using it to point at you accusatorily. “I thought you said you left this at home.”
“What? Wow, that’s so weird, why would I say that…”
“Careful now. Lies are gonna cost you extra.”
He moves down between your shaking legs, shoving them apart and grunting something lewd about how good you look the way your slick spreads out across your thighs. He lays down on his stomach, hooking his thick arms under your legs, and lets out a satisfied groan as he nips at the inside of your thigh, lowering his head down to give your slit an exploratory lick.
“Extra?” A low moan tumbles out of you as his wide tongue licks a thick stripe up your cunt, then plunges it inside you, shallowly fucking you with it. “Then how about, after you’re done down there, I ride you—then you give me a ride back?
“A ride for a ride, huh?” Zoro murmurs against your skin, stopping his movements for a moment to glance up at you. He smiles, high on the fucked-out expression etched into your features, before flicking his tongue over your aching clit, groaning as you softly rock your hips into his face. “Man, I fuckin’ love this job.”
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jimmys-zeppelin · 7 months
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MY SWEET LITTLE OLD MANNNBNN DJDJSJSU MY LOVE LY BABY CUTIE PIE SRUNKLE POP LOVE OF MY LIFE MY LITTLE CINAMON TOAST CRUNCH SQUARE
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desertwalkers- baby rattler
"Stupid tumbleweed." Riven pouted, kicking another rock out of her path. The Hex Witch had created a beautiful pair of chakrams, all dainty and pretty with enchantments but oh-so-deadly. Riven had fallen in love with the weapons, her fingers itched to pick them up. To have proper chakrams again to dance, to let the magic in her blood fly free once more...But it was the Hex Witch. She was expensive. Thus, Riven's need for extra money.
Technically. The brunette huffed, shaking her head.
No. Her bridal trousseau and the jewelry that had been her dower--those were all stuffed into her spell-warded travel chest. Those were strictly for emergencies. Or when things cooled down that nobody would blink at the rich silks and satins, laces and linens, or the sparkling gemstones showing up in pawnshops...and Riven wouldn't be questioned for having a little bit extra pocket money. She was only two weeks into her arrival at Stonewood, if she went around dropping gil like ceruleum she'd get eyes clapped squarely onto her. So for right now, it'd be stupid to touch the lot. And given the conversation she and Sebastian had upon their arrival with Mz. Gohtawyn, Riven was determined to prove she wasn't stupid.
Maybe the traveling circus needs extra hands. The thought cheered the Tonawawtan woman up. She still had a little bit of lunch-time left, she could go right on over and ask! But before Riven could continue her train of thought, her path took her into the way of something hard like rock and covered in fabric. With a cry she stumbled backward, falling down again on her ass..
"Ow!! What the--" The obstacle turned. Riven trailed off, blinking. She'd collided with a man dressed all in black and silver, with what looked like a bayonet-style gunblade on his back. A frown crossed the stranger's features as he looked down at Riven. Riven stared back up at him. Then she gasped as fingers roughly seized her by one of her upper arms and yanked her to her feet.
"Ow!"
"Look at this one, boss!" A pink-haired Tonawawtan man also dressed in black leered at the brunette.
"Looks like there's a new whore in town! She's a cutie pie! You think they've been hidin'-AAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!" A high-pitched scream filled the air as the toe of one of Riven's boots collected solidly with the man's groin. His grip loosened, and Riven broke free, watching as he fell down howling. With a screech, Riven lifted her foot.
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"Don't touch me again!!!" This time her foot came down with all the force she could muster. The howl that escaped the man made the fast-forming group of onlookers cringe.
"Holy sheeeet!"
"Gods damn!"
"Little bit's got some spice!" A drunken Hhetsarro cheered. Riven turned on a heel and stomped away, fuming. Hoots and cat calls followed her.
"Hey Doc! Can ye fix that?!"
"Can't do nothing for smashed sausage and cracked eggs." Mathye commented, shaking his head as more laughter rippled through the crowd.
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heavyhitterheaux · 2 years
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Don't Do it Again
First Lady of Private Garden Fic
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AN: Jackman better stop being out in this streets acting as if he isn't a whole married man 🤭🤭
Synopsis: You find Jack's wedding ring on the bathroom counter and you make it your mission to get it back on his finger and tell him to not forget it again
Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader
Requested by a cutie pie anon of mine!
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
You woke up to the sunlight peeking through the windows and the place beside you empty. 
You remembered that Jack had mentioned wanting to get to the studio early and that he would probably be gone by the time you woke up.
You absolutely hated waking up early and was thankful that he had let you sleep.
You glanced down at your phone to see that he had sent you a text and you instantly smiled.
Smush- I know you’ll see this when you wake up so I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I’ll see you later
You- I love you more stink 🥰😘
The plan was to spend the day with your big sister Danielle since she would be here for a few days and her flight would be landing around 2 so you still had plenty of time.
The comforter was thrown to the side as you climbed out of bed and made your way to the bathroom wanting to get ready for the day.
You were grabbing your toothbrush until you saw that the ring dish which would hold your wedding rings was occupied.
Which usually never happened.
You did a double take to make sure you were seeing this right and sure enough Jack’s wedding ring was staring you right back in your face and clearly not on his finger.
“He got me fucked all the way up. Imma kick his ass.” You muttered to yourself as you continued to get ready.
Once you were satisfied with the way your hair turned out, you slipped Jack’s ring on your right hand even though it was a little too big for you and hopped into your car speeding towards the studio.
It only took you about twenty minutes even with traffic. You parked near the entrance so that you wouldn’t have to walk far and began to make your way inside.
The receptionist alerted you to where your husband was and you said a quick thank you before making your way down the hallway.
Once you reached your destination, you swung the door open and all eyes immediately went to you.
Jack was currently in the booth and stopped mid-sentence when he saw you.
“Oh shit, Jack I don’t know what you did but….. Your wife does not look happy.” Drake said before coming over to greet you.
“Hey, long time no see.” You gave him a quick hug before giving your husband the evil eye.
“Hey!”
“Just don’t hurt him too bad.”
“No promises. I’m about to kick his ass. JACKMAN COME HERE NEOW!”
“Damn. Full government.”
“Babe, what is going on?!” Jack asked, clearly confused, coming out of the booth and coming over to you.
“I’ll tell you what’s going on! Square up right now!” You replied, balling up your tiny fist.
“Here she go being violent as usual.”
“Urban Henry, not now!”
“Why you have to say my full name too? I didn’t even do anything!”
“You’re the best friend and left with him this morning so you are guilty by association.”
“What in the world are we squaring up for?! Are you even going to tell me what I did?” Jack asked, still confused and not understanding what was happening. 
“It’s what you aren’t wearing!” You exclaimed before crossing your arms. 
“Wait, what? What am I not wearing?”
You simply held up his wedding ring and he did a double take to look down at his bare ring finger.
“Oh shit.” You heard Urban say as he grabbed his bag of chips, opening them and watching the scene unfold in front of him.
“You mean to tell me you over here acting outta pocket because I forgot to put my ring back on?”
“Yes! You’re married aren’t you?! So act like it!”
“Well, are you going to give it to me?! You came over here to give it to me I’m assuming.”
“Nah, fight me first for acting as if you’re available to all the ladies in Atlanta! Stop getting smart with me! The blogs would eat that shit up and I will put someone six feet under if they think they can get my man. You are very much taken or did you forget?”
“Baby! You are barely 5’4 on a good day, sit your ass down somewhere. I didn’t forget anything!”
“See now that was disrespectful and you didn’t have to bring my height into it.”
“Calling it like I see it baby.”
“And you’re about to see my fist knock you upside your head!”
“But we’ve seen her in action, she will show no mercy to the first girl who says something.”
“Thank you Shloob.” You said while looking over at him.
“Shloob, you scared of Y/N we all know.” Quiiso said while laughing. 
“And yall are fucking stupid if you aren’t.”
“Now, I’m really going to have to kick your ass.” You stepped closer to Jack but not before he simply picked you up and was holding you in the air.
“Hey! Put me down!” You exclaimed while attempting to get a hold of him but failing miserably.
“Not a chance.”
“You aren’t being fair! How am I supposed to teach you a lesson if I’m in the air?!”
“And you need to calm your tiny ass down and give me my ring.”
“Jack, are you seriously holding her up in the air like that?” Drake asked before busting out laughing at him holding you as you were kicking your feet.
“Her little ass needs to calm down and take her ass on.”
“JACKMAN I AM CALLING MAGGIE IF YOU DO NOT PUT ME DOWN!”
“How when your phone is in your purse because your outfit doesn’t have any pockets?”
“URBANNNNN HELP ME!”
“Nah, I’m guilty by association, remember? You’ll be okay. Jack, hold her up longer.”
“I see imma have to kick Urby’s ass too. BABYYYYY COME ON!”
“If I put you down, you promise to act like you got some sense?”
“Yes! I’m getting lightheaded damn it!”
Jack was slowly putting you back down and kissed your forehead while you had your arms crossed.
“My ring, please.”
You slowly slid it onto his ring finger and all he was doing was smirking down at you.
“Love you baby girl.”
“Hmph, I guess I love you too. Don’t do it again.” You said while crossing your arms and pouting.
“Hold up, you guess?”
“Isn’t that what I said?!”
“You better think long and hard about the next thing you’re about to say to me because I have no problem taking you in the bathroom and tearing your ass up right now.”
“WILL YOU TWO CHILL FOR FIVE MINUTES?!”
“You know they never can. I’ve just learned to accept it at this point.”
“Well, Mrs. Harlow?”
“I said I guess I love you too. I didn’t stutter.”
All Jack did was let out a light laugh before smirking down at you.
“Go out the door and go to the left, now.”
“Are yall serious?!”
“We’re almost done and I definitely won’t be long.  Isn’t that right, baby girl?”
“You won’t be long because you can’t….”
“Can’t what?! Say it with your chest since you wanna be out here choosing violence.”
“She was about to say you won’t be long because you can’t last long!”
“URBAN SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHY’D YOU TELL HIM?!”
“I thought I was helping you out?! You chose violence today so you might as well go all the way!”
Jack then wrapped his left hand around your neck and you immediately whimpered.
“Alright, who wants to go get food so they can fuck each other’s brains out and we can finish what we have to do?” Drake asked and everyone immediately got up and followed behind him.
Once everyone was out of earshot Jack turned his attention back to you.
“Oh, you mighty quiet now, huh?”
“Fuck you.”
“That’s what I plan on doing. Your ass will not to be able to walk when I’m done with you. Since you wanna get smart with me, I need those clothes off now. Maybe I should forget to put my wedding ring back on more often.”
“If you do, I am definitely kicking your ass and telling Maggie.”
“And how’d that work out for you today?”
“Jackman Thomas, do not test me.”
“Nah, I’ll just test how many rounds you can go before tapping out.”
Jack suddenly looked down at you and then paused.
“What?” You asked him and he immediately rolled his eyes.
“You made such a big deal out of me not wearing my ring and look at your fucking finger.”
You looked down to see that yours was bare and had a look of confusion on your face.
You had taken it off to take a shower and never put it back on before leaving the house.
“Wait, babe….”
“I ain’t waiting for shit! I’m really about to tear your ass up now!”
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littlelovelyspiderling · 11 months
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Meeting The Real You (Chapter 9)
Chapter 1 -- Chapter 2 -- Chapter 3 -- Chapter 4 -- Chapter 5 -- Chapter 6 -- Chapter 7 -- Chapter 8
word count: 25,347
***CONTENT WARNING: MENTION OF SUICIDE***
___________________________
“What did I tell you?”
Peter shriveled a little, wincing as Stark threaded the suture needle in and out of the skin surrounding his still-healing bullet wound, face flushed behind his mask as he sat once again between his mentor and Johnny Storm, wearing nothing but his boxer briefs. Unlike Spider-Man, the Human Torch appeared to have no qualms being half-naked in front of others. In fact, based on his surprisingly racy modeling portfolio, Peter was certain Johnny’s superhero costume would be far more risqué if Johnny had any say in the matter. At the very least, he’d add some bold cutouts down his legs and across his midsection. Maybe some fingerless gloves or a gold choker around his neck. Meanwhile, from Peter’s perspective, the less skin he was showing, the better—especially since he was always in the mindset of trying to keep his secret identity under wraps. 
“Take it easy. No web-swinging,” Peter eventually mumbled.
“And what did you go and do anyway?”
Spider-Man grimaced. “Swung from Washington Square Park to here. But—”
“No buts. You ignored my demands, and now we’re both paying the price. You know the rules, kid. After I’m done sewing you up— again —the suit goes in the lab and stays there for as long as I deem appropriate. Understood?”
Peter sighed. This was the agreement Stark and May had forced him to abide by until he turned eighteen. Tony had never kept the suit from him for longer than a couple days, but it still sucked majorly whenever he was made to give it up. It never failed to make him feel like a grounded pre-schooler. 
“I thought you tore your stitches when you backflipped for the livestream,” Johnny said with a frown. Tony went rigid, eyes rising to meet Peter’s, nostrils flaring. Peter wished he was close enough to the Human Torch to kick him in the shins.
“You did what?” Stark snapped.
“You told me you didn’t web-swing today!” Johnny exclaimed. 
“Johnny!” Peter cried, exasperated. “You said you’d take the heat for this, not get me in trouble even more!”
“That was before I knew you lied to me!”
“Can it, you two,” Tony interjected, piercing Peter’s skin a tad less gently, making the young hero flinch. “You heard me. Suit. Lab. End of discussion.”
Peter sulked in defeat. How was he ever going to take down Kingpin when his mentor kept treating him like a goddamn five-year-old? Eighteen could not come fast enough. 
Johnny shot a glare in Peter’s direction, then exhaled slowly, placing his hands on his hips. “Mr. Stark, it’s clear that Spidey was a massive fuck-up today.”
“Hey!” Peter protested, earning a sharp flick from his mentor.
“Keep still,” Tony demanded.
“But if you take away his suit, he and I won’t be able to hang out anymore. If I promise to keep him from being a dumbass and hurting himself again, would you consider letting him keep it? Please? You know, one member of the SDS to another?”
To Peter’s surprise, Stark actually seemed to be considering his request. Peter knew how hard it was to say no to those big blue eyes paired with that pleading, innocuous smile, but still. Spider-Man wrinkled his brow, glancing between the two of them suspiciously.
“What’s the SDS?” he asked. 
“Shhh,” Johnny cooed, smooshing a finger against Peter’s lips. “Nothing that concerns you, cutie pie. You just sit there and look pretty while we work this out, yeah?”
Peter blushed in surprise, then batted Johnny's hand aside. “Why do you always have to be so damn condescending?” he asked, stifling a giggle.
“You swear you’ll keep him grounded until I give the green light?” Stark inquired hesitantly, stroking his thin beard.
Johnny beamed. “I can more than swear it,” he assured the Avenger, raising his hand and extending his littlest finger. “I pinky promise.”
Tony rolled his eyes and shooed Johnny’s hand away. With a sigh, he leveled his gaze on the young celebrity. “If he so much as splits one stitch—”
“Then I’ll rip off his suit and hand-deliver it to you myself,” Johnny assured him. 
Peter reddened as Stark knotted off the final suture in his side. “Please don’t,” the two said in unison. His mentor moved to stand directly in front of him and met his eye with a long, cold stare. Peter shrunk back, opening his mouth to try to say something constructive, but Tony shut him up by balling up the Spider-Man suit and chucking it directly into his face, muffling his yelp of surprise. 
“There. Happy now? Christ—I can’t believe how much of a pushover you’ve turned me into. I should’ve known how dangerous you two would be working in tandem to corrode my willpower and estimated lifespan.”
Peter untangled himself from the suit, then joined Johnny in showering Stark with proclamations and placards of gratitude. Tony simply crossed his arms and hunched his shoulders and muttered to himself about gray hairs and crow’s feet. Peter slipped his limbs into the floppy red fabric then tapped the spider symbol on his chest to shrink the costume down, cinching it to his narrow frame. 
“I promise I’ll be more careful,” Spider-Man insisted, rubbing gingerly at his side.
“Oh, wow—haven’t heard that one before,” Tony grumbled.
“You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Stark,” Johnny chirped, slinging an arm around Peter’s neck. “Spidey and I will lay low and stay grounded for the next few days. No more bullet wounds or backflips or web-swingings of any kind; you have my word.”
Tony dragged his hands down his face with a weary groan. “Sure. If you say so. Whatever. I seriously need a drink. FRIDAY. Whiskey. Now, please.”
“A rosemary tea with honey is steeping on your office desk as we speak,” the A.I. replied.
“Screw you, FRIDAY.”
“You’re the one who instructed me to make you tea anytime you requested an alcoholic beverage,” FRIDAY reminded him.
Tony huffed. “Screw you, me.”
The friendly arm draped across Peter’s shoulders suddenly tightened into a semi-threatening chokehold. “You’re welcome, asshole,” Johnny growled, sotto voce. “Thanks for lying to my face.”
Peter clenched his jaw, trying to focus on anything other than the feeling of Johnny’s perfectly toned arm muscles coiled against his throat. “I’m sorry, all right? I didn’t mean to. I was just…” Images of freckled skin bathed in summer sunshine looped like a powerpoint in his mind. He swallowed. “Er…distracted.” 
The corners of Johnny’s mouth lifted a little. “Well. Seeing how I’m now responsible for keeping you out of trouble, let’s not pull that shit again, yeah?”
Peter scoffed. “You do realize you’ve been the primary cause of all the trouble I’ve gotten into as of late, right?” 
“All the more reason for me to stop you from getting into more,” Johnny countered smoothly. “We’ve braved some of the most daunting situations two people could ever face together over the past couple days. Things can only go up from here, right?”
A loud ringing sound from inside Peter’s backpack bulldozed through their conversation. Peter pulled out his phone to find he had an incoming call—from May Parker.
“It’s my aunt,” Spider-Man stated, a small spindle of nerves scribbling up his throat. Immediately, he clicked the answer button, knowing better than to send her to voicemail. If she was calling because she was upset about something, always better to face it right away than to give her anger more time to stew. Hopefully it was just an update on how the convention was going, a quick chat about what they’d been up to, that kind of thing. Nothing to worry about. So long as he played it cool and didn’t mention being shot, everything would be fine. He held the phone up to his ear. 
“Hey, May,” he said hesitantly. “Uh, what’s up?”
“You were SHOT?” 
Peter flinched away from the speaker, his aunt’s voice exploding from the phone like a pipe bomb, skewering him with shards of terror. His eyes snapped towards Johnny and Stark; his jaw hung open, practically grazing the floor.
“I…I…uh…”
Stark spun away from him, marching towards the exit with his hands raised in submission. “This one’s on you, kid. I warned yah. Don’t come crying to me. You’re on your own.”
May continued yelling at him through the phone, forcing Peter to block the speaker with his hand for fear she’d start referring to him by name—followed by a horrifying string of New York-style expletives. While Spider-Man pored frantically over what to do, Johnny started snickering behind his palm. Peter turned on him in disbelief.
“You’re laughing?” he exclaimed. Johnny shook his head, giggling even more.
“Sorry, haha! It’s just—you’re Spider-Man, and you’re in so much trouble. All these people think you’re this evil menace, when you’re really just a kid getting grounded and scolded like every other teenager in America. If only they knew!” Johnny’s eyes brightened suddenly as he held up his phone. “Speaking of, should I be recording this?”
Peter grappled for the device in Johnny’s hand. “Dude! Don’t you dare!”
“Johnathan Spencer Storm.”
Johnny went rigid, his wide smile morphing into a grimace. Sue and Reed stood in front of the med bay doors, the Invisible Woman looking a tad red in the face and Mr. Fantastic tense and nervous. Although still drowning in fear from his aunt’s muffled shouts against his palm, Peter took a second to savor karma’s sweet sting. 
“Ha,” Peter taunted him, giving Johnny a light shove in the back. “Serves you right.” Johnny shrugged him off with a scowl.
“Shut up,” he grumbled. “I’ll come find you after I deal with this. We gotta discuss Spidey’s next big social media stunt.”
A crafty gleam entered his eye as Johnny said that last part. To Peter’s surprise, Johnny stepped forward suddenly and bundled him into a last-second hug, sending volts of electricity tingling through his belly. 
“Sorry about all this,” Johnny added softly. “I’ll be more careful the next time I post or talk about you and make sure not to mention things like you getting shot—which, by the way, better not happen ever again.”
Peter grasped for something cool and chill and witty to say in reply, but it was no use. The only thoughts his brain could articulate while pressed this close to Johnny Storm were warm and smell nice and me like hug and please never let go. 
“Sounds Gucci,” was the moronic buffoonery he eventually squeaked out. He wrapped his arms around Johnny’s back and held him tight: resting his forehead against his shoulder, breathing in deep, and soaking him in. This was the closest he’d ever get to being more than friends with him, so he had to relish every second he got.
“Johnny.”
Lanced with sudden bashfulness, Spider-Man jerked out of Johnny’s embrace. How had he forgotten about the two other superheroes glowering at them from across the room so quickly? Well, one glowering superhero, anyway—Reed Richards wasn’t staring at them with any animosity in his gaze, but rather a quiet curiosity. For some reason, Peter found this even more unsettling. 
“All right!” the Human Torch snapped, whirling on his sister. Tiny flames bubbled across his skin. “I’m coming, okay? Jesus!” He turned back to Spider-Man and prodded his chest with his finger. “Stay grounded until I get back. The two of us are in enough hot water already.”
A curt laugh escaped him. “No kidding,” Peter mumbled. A fresh bout of angry ranting erupted from the phone in his hand, making him jump a little and almost drop it. Wincing, Peter pointed to the cracked screen. “Sorry, I gotta—”
“Same,” Johnny sighed, jogging towards his teammates. “I’ll catch yah later, ‘kay? Good luck with your aunt!”
Peter nodded and waved. “Thanks. Write a nice eulogy for me if this goes as well as I’m anticipating.”
Johnny giggled as Sue corralled him through the exit. “Will do.” 
Once the room was clear, Peter reluctantly lifted his hand off the speaker, and was met with the verbal ass-whooping of a lifetime.
“—even listening to me? Are you trying to give me a goddamn heart attack? If you don’t answer in the next five seconds, I’m hopping on the next bus to New York and coming home this instant so I can ground you until the day I die and cram a baseball bat straight up Tony’s lying, irresponsible, egotistical—”
“May!” Peter cut in helplessly. “Please! I was in front of a bunch of people who don’t know my secret identity! I couldn’t say anything until they left the room.”
“Are they gone now?” she shot back, words sharp as talons. Peter bunched his limbs in close to his body.
“Yes,” he answered miserably.
“Good. ‘Cuz it’s explanation time, buddy. Now. Go.”
Peter pinched his eyes closed, wondering how he could possibly spell out everything that had happened since she’d left without sounding like a reckless douchebag of a nephew, or fully chucking Mr. Stark under the bus. He hung his head, slipping the Spider-Man mask off his face.
“I’m sorry, May. I should’ve told you. It all happened so fast, and I hate making you worry while you're busy with F.E.A.S.T. stuff. I’m on the mend now and hoped I could get away with not having to burden you with this.”
“A bold feat, considering your famous new friend’s affinity for talking about you being shot on multiple different live media platforms, and the fact I probably have more Google alerts on for your alter ego than all of your enemies combined.”
The depth of Peter’s stupidity drizzled over him like boiling coffee. The teen gave a cheerless laugh, palming his face in his hand. “Right. God. Really didn’t think this one through at all, did I?”
“No, sweetheart. You really didn’t.”
The pair marinated in a long stretch of silence. Guilt chewed through Peter’s guts like maggots. May heaved a weighty sigh from the other end of the line.
“I’m always going to worry about you getting hurt, Peter,” she insisted, voice stern yet brittle. “There’s nothing either of us can do to stop that. But what I absolutely do not need added to that worry is the fear that you’re keeping things from me. Do you understand?”
Peter cupped his wounded side, skin still stinging from the freshly stitched sutures. Her words carried far more bite than she could ever know. 
“Yes, May,” he said meekly.
“When did you even start hanging out with that guy? How did the two of you meet?”
Alarm plastered the walls of Peter’s throat. “Johnny? Oh, uh—just a few days ago. Mr. Stark invited his team to stay at the tower for a bit.” Immediately, he backtracked. “But please don’t blame any of this on them. Stark just found out about me getting shot right before you did, and Johnny protected me from getting hurt even worse. They’re not at fault here—just me.”
May’s voice came through pained and wobbly. “You promised me you’d stay safe and keep me updated while I was gone,” she said.
Shame tore into the young hero like glass. Peter Parker bit the inside of his cheek and tucked his free arm beneath his aching ribs. Just rip my heart right outta my chest, why don’t you? Nothing made Peter feel shittier than when he made his aunt cry. This was the first major test of their dynamic as super-powered kid and scared but encouraging guardian . Despite her uncertainty about it, May had agreed to let him continue fighting crime in her absence—so long as he kept her up to date on everything going on. And how had he thanked her for her unwavering trust and support? By betraying her the second the opportunity presented itself. What was he thinking, hiding this from her? He hadn’t been thinking; whatever loopy pain meds Stark had injected him with paired with Johnny’s zany teasing had made sure of that. 
“This business summit is turning into a shit-show,” May continued tearfully. “None of my presentations have gone how I’ve hoped, half my team isn’t here because of a strep outbreak, and I feel completely unprepared and inexperienced compared to everyone else. Now I come to find out my kid has been shot and didn’t even tell me?” A small sniffle escaped her. “Maybe I should just come home…”
His aunt’s words cut him to his core. What could he say to make this better? What could he do to bring the light back into her voice?
Peter thought back to that last time he’d scared and disappointed her this badly. It was before May had even known he was Spider-Man. He’d been so busy tracking down the Vulture and dealing with the aftermath of the ferry he’d accidentally split in two, he’d wound up ignoring her calls all day and getting home way past his curfew. He’d never seen her that upset before, and never wanted to put her in that position ever again.
How had he made things better then? She’d been pretty standoff-ish for the next week. He’d kept his head down, caught up on his studies, gave up on Spider-Manning since he was sans his suit for the time being. It was only when he told her about a certain Academic Decathlon captain he’d asked to go with him to the Homecoming dance that the old May he knew and loved finally showed her face again.
She’d always been embarrassingly invested in her nephew’s budding romances and teenage love life, despite how uneventful they tended to be. Few things on earth brought her more joy than hearing about Peter’s latest infatuations and offering him advice on how to win their affection. Now that she knew he was a superhero, that interest had increased tenfold. Fortunately for Peter, nothing of significance had happened since his short and tumultuous fling with Liz. 
Until now, anyway. Which gave him an idea…
“I’m so sorry, May—for all of it. I really messed up. I won’t keep anything like this from you again, okay? Just please don’t leave yet. You fought so hard to be there; you deserve to be there. Don’t let my dumbassery ruin this for you.” He licked his lips, nerves buzzing to a fever pitch. He just had to hint at it. He didn’t have to say who or when or even what . All he had to do was reference just enough to shift her focus from her nephew’s irresponsibility and the stress of the conference to Peter’s hot new heartthrob.
Was this manipulative? Probably. Stupid? Absolutely so. But if it succeeded in cheering her up a little, Peter called that a win.
“The main reason I didn’t tell you about what happened was ‘cuz…” Peter swallowed. “Because my head’s been all over the place, and I’ve been really distracted lately.” 
May paused to blow her nose before responding. “What do you mean?” she asked. “Distracted by what?”
Frighteningly familiar warmth spread like wildfire across his skin. Peter shot anxious glances around the room to make absolutely certain the coast was clear, then huffed out a defeated breath.
“I kinda…have a crush on someone…” he mumbled, blush crawling into his cheeks. He couldn’t believe he was already telling another person about this after having just confessed to Ned a few hours ago, but his aunt clearly needed the pick-me-up. Besides—it wasn’t like he was planning on coming out to her just yet. 
It was almost comical how well his evil scheme worked. When his aunt finally responded, all the exhaustion and sadness had been sapped from her voice, replaced instead with beaming delight. 
“What?” she exclaimed. “A crush? Oh my god! Peter! It’s been forever since you’ve had a crush! I’ve been dying for you to find someone new after Liz, and you choose to wait ‘til I’m shipped off to New Jersey to finally find one?” 
Peter giggled sheepishly in spite of himself. Although his aunt’s obsession with his dating life was patronizing at times, her enthusiasm was entertaining to indulge and incredibly contagious. He knew she was smiling the biggest, giddiest smile right now, and Peter couldn’t help but do the same. The two of them were so close and always spoke so openly with each other, it was easy to forget they had no actual blood relation.  
“Sorry. Believe me—this was not something I planned on at all.”
Technically not a lie, he reminded himself. Speaking vague truths felt better than outright fibbing. He vowed to be as honest as he could without digging himself into an inescapable hole.
“How dare you spring this on me while I’m supposed to be mad at you,” May chastised him, unable to shake the elation from her tone. “You know how excited I get about this sort of thing.”
Peter scratched the back of his neck. Damn . She sure caught onto him quick. 
“I was gonna wait until you got back,” he explained, voice tinted with mischief, “but it sounded like you needed to hear it now.” 
Also not a lie, he thought. It wasn't like he expected to keep her in the dark forever. 
“Well, don’t leave me hanging here, kiddo!” she said. “May needs details!”
Sudden uncertainty lassoed his tongue. How could he describe him in all his charming, wily, flaming glory without saying—well, him? It was possible Peter hadn’t thought this through as much as he should have.
“Uh—like what?” Peter stammered out, stalling for more time.
“Everything!” May pressed him. “When did this start, how did it happen, what’s the plan to get you two together?”
Peter felt a small flutter stir inside him. Should I just tell her? he thought, nervous excitement surging through his veins. Why shouldn’t I? What harm could it do? There wasn’t a universe he could imagine where May turned her back on him—no matter what he did or who he was or the kind of person his heart chose to love. She’d told him a thousand times over: she’d always be there for him. Plus, Peter hated having to lie to her. He’d already shattered her trust in him once; if he could find it in himself to swallow his fear and confess this daunting secret, maybe he could start to restore that trust, and prove to her how much faith and value he placed in their relationship. 
“We met pretty recently,” Peter ventured to say, nerves latching onto every word. “At Avengers Tower, a couple days after you left.”
True.
“You met as Peter, or as Spider-Man?” 
Sweat rallied between the palms of his hands and the fabric of his gloves. He switched the phone to his opposite ear and took a slow, shaky breath. Was he really about to do this?
“As Spider-Man, actually,” he said. “The two of us—we’re both superheroes.”
True.
“No kidding?” May responded emphatically. “How exciting! A superhero, star-crossed romance! I could see how that might get messy, though: mixing work and powers and secret identities into the already complex mayhem that is teenage dating.”
Peter croaked out a laugh. “Oh, for sure. I’ve already run into plenty of unanticipated drama because of it.” True. Now? Do I tell her now? “It’s all really new and kinda crazy. I’ve never dealt with anything like this before.” Also true. How do I wanna say it? I already did this once. Why is it still so hard? “I seriously doubt anything is ever actually going to happen between us but I’m—I’m really excited about it.” 
About him.
About him.
Just tell her the truth! Spit it out already!
“What’s this mystery superhero’s name?” May inquired. Peter sat stiffly on the medical cot, clenching and unclenching his fists. He gradually stilled his shivering legs. Dropped his shoulders away from his ears. Sucked his teeth to his lips. Shut his eyes. Set his jaw. Inhaled deep, then opened his mouth.
“Johnny. It’s Johnny Storm. He’s the person I have a crush on.”
Silence. More silence. An abnormal amount of silence. Peter gulped down hitched breaths, heart thundering like a freight train, the phone trembling a little in his hand.
“M-May? Hello? You there?”
A jumbled, staticky sound gargled from the speaker in response. Peter winced, holding the device away from his ear. A few seconds later, May’s voice garbled out of the phone in short, clipped segments, cutting in and out with only a few decipherable words finding their way through. 
“May?” Peter said again, nerves tearing at the seams. “Can you hear me?”
“—goddamn piece of shit, Jesus Christ,” was what he eventually heard her hiss when the connection was finally restored. “Sorry, Peter. My signal here is absolute garbage. I think our call got cut off for a second.”
“It’s okay,” he grated out, squirming a little in place. Another couple seconds passed, and he added: “Did—did you hear me? What I said?”
“No, I must’ve missed it. Go ahead, sweetheart! What’s her name?”
A cold feeling spread through the young superhero from the top of his head to the tips of his heels. He stared ahead blankly, ice trickling into his stomach. 
“What?” he barely managed to say. The word came out breathless and fractured. 
“The superhero girl! The one you said you have a crush on! You were telling me her name, right? Or did that part of our conversation cut out, too?”
Peter could feel his heartbeat throbbing inside his skull. Two words pounded against his brain like a pair of rubber mallets. 
Her, her, her, her .
Girl, girl, girl, girl. 
She didn’t know.
Duh. Of course she didn’t know. Why would she? He’d never…he’d always made it seem like…
Still. He wished she knew. Part of him felt blindsided that she didn’t.
Maybe she didn’t know him as well as himself or Ned or anyone else thought.
“Peter?” his aunt called, ripping him from the thoughts racing around his head at a thousand lightyears a second. “Are you there, hon? Is the connection still cutting out?”
Peter tried to speak, but was stunned to find his voice choked with tears. They stung his eyes and wet his cheeks and slipped down his neck in large, pathetic droplets. 
It took him a moment. Many moments. But one by one, he forced his mouth to form words.
“I…I think it might be,” he heard himself say. Lie. He wiped frantically at his eyes, stifled a sob, cleared his throat. “Um, anyway—Mr. Stark is actually asking for me to come join him in the lab now.” Lie. “You probably have big, fancy business meetings to get to that are way more important than this.” Lie. “I’ll call you back later, okay?” Lie. Lie. Lie. 
Aunt May sighed. “All right, sweetie. Ugh—stupid cell reception. You know I’m dying to hear everything about her! I’ll need the full play-by-play once I’m home next week. I love you! No more getting shot and not telling me please!”
Peter hung up before the tremble in his voice became too obvious to hide. He let the phone slide from his fingers into his lap, then sat in silence in the wide, empty room. The chilly air of the medical wing felt even more frigid than usual. His mask was draped across his knee, the eye lenses speckled with droplets. The only sounds were the quiet sniffles slipping through his defenses and the soft patter of tears against shatter-proof glass. 
Peter was confused, angry, hurt—but why , he wasn’t sure. 
He was confused with himself. Why was he borderline weeping over this? Why was this triggering such a visceral emotional response in him? She hadn’t cast him out or recoiled in disgust or anything like that; she’d just assumed the same thing everyone else assumed about him: that Peter liked girls, and girls alone. That’s all. Once he told her, she would know the truth. Simple as that. Shouldn’t he be relieved? Coming out for the first time to two different people in one day was a lot of pressure to put himself under. 
So why was crying? Why couldn’t he make himself stop?
He was angry at his cowardice, his naïveté, at the tears staining his cheeks. He was angry he had to tell his aunt outright for her to know him fully, but at the same time mad at the unrealistic expectations he was placing on her. The anger inside him churned as hot and violent as magma. He didn’t know where to put it.
Most of all, he was hurt. It was the kind of pain that pinched your entrails and mangled your heart and made your throat feel like it was caving in on itself. He didn’t have a name for it. He couldn’t understand its intensity or origin. He wanted it to let him go.
“Spidey! You still in here?”
Panicked, Peter flew from the bed and faced away from the doors, yanking the Spider-Man mask over his puffy eyes and splotchy face. He grounded himself with as steady a breath as he could muster as Johnny floated across the room and landed by his side. 
“That went slightly better than expected,” Johnny decided, now dressed in his skin-tight, deep blue Fantastic Four suit. “I think my sister is finally sorta somewhat warming up to the idea of you. You’ve been upgraded from ‘masked menace’ to ‘masked hooligan’ at least, which is a start. How about on your end? Did your aunt really grill you, or…hey. Are you okay?”
Peter cursed himself inside his head. What was the point in wearing a mask when people like Johnny could read him like an open book anyway? He turned towards the Human Torch with a dismal chuckle. 
“I’m good, yeah. That’s great. Really great. My aunt’s not mad anymore, either. Maybe I’m better at getting people to like me than I thought. I bet it’s my eccentric wit and rock-hard calves and rugged, unbridled sex appeal.”
Johnny’s frown didn’t budge an inch. “You’re doing it again,” he said. 
Peter rubbed at his eyes through the lenses of his mask. “Doing what?” he asked sullenly. 
“You know what,” Johnny snapped, crossing his arms against his chest. “Drop the stupid jokes, and tell me what’s wrong.”
“Ouch. I thought the sex appeal part was at least kinda funny. Tough crowd.” 
“Spidey. Come on. Seriously.”
“Y’know, ‘seriously’ isn’t really my vibe at the moment. How about peanut M&M’s and microwave popcorn and Brooklyn 99 and ignoring our problems instead?”
“Spider-Man.”
Taken aback, Peter couldn’t help but giggle. “Was that you trying to call me by my full name? I have to admit, it was rather unsettling. You almost sounded like one of my super villains. Add a bit more growl to that last syllable, and you’ve pretty much nailed it.”
Johnny scoffed incredulously, shaking his head in disbelief. “Wow. This is…just wow. You done now? Is it outta your system yet?”
“Yeah, that’s not how it works. I’m like a goat. I’ll just keep going and going until I die. And the longer I go, the harder it is to stop. Speaking of, ever heard the one where a goat and a sommelier walk into a bar?”
“Webs,” Johnny implored, grabbing him by the wrist. The touch sent tingles up Peter’s arm and down his spine. “Please.”
Virulent emotion threatened to claim him once again. What was the point? He couldn’t tell him what was wrong. Even if he wanted to, Peter doubted he was capable of fully articulating it. 
With a desolate sigh, the masked hero yielded, but he selected his words with an abundance of caution. “It’s whatever, all right?” he insisted. “My aunt just…doesn’t know me like I thought she did. And it’s not her fault, but…I don’t know. It surprised me a little, since she probably knows me better than anyone.”
“What doesn’t she know about you?” Johnny asked. When Peter didn’t answer, he switched the question to: “Have you ever told her the thing she doesn’t know about you?”
“No…” he said hesitantly.
An endearing smile touched Johnny’s lips and shone in his cobalt eyes. “Spidey. You can’t expect people to know things about you without showing them or telling them those things. That applies to your aunt and everyone else in the world. If you want people to know you as you are, you have to open up to them and share the stuff that’s important to you.”
The deep ache inside Peter gradually fell away, and an itchy irritation crept in to replace it. Grumbling, Peter stared off to the side, shoulders and fists held taut. “Would you stop making so much goddamn sense all the time?” he fake-pouted, a small laugh escaping him. “Could you, like, not have the answer to every single one of my problems for once in your life?”
Johnny returned his laughter, giving his arm a light squeeze. “You make it too easy, Webs,” he teased him. “This is why I think this silly social media stuff is so vital to restoring your image. If you don’t take control of your narrative and tell people who Spider-Man really is, they’re going to keep making assumptions about you that aren’t true.”
Peter studied the soft sincerity in Johnny’s expression, debilitating fondness blazing through him. He puffed out his cheeks. “Y’know, you could at least pretend to think I’m funny while I’m running through one of my conflict-avoidant stand-up comedy routines. Humor me just a smidge before gutting me like a fish.”
“I do think you're funny,” Johnny corrected him. The hand holding Peter’s wrist tugged him the teensiest bit closer, sending butterflies racing up Spider-Man’s throat. While he had him distracted, Johnny’s other hand found Peter’s rib cage and gave his uninjured side a quick pinch, making the young hero squeal in surprise and leap away. “But I’m not gonna laugh when you’re making jokes to hide your pain.”
“Hehey!” Peter giggled, blushing bright as a tomato as he hugged his midsection. “Johnny! I just got re-stitched!”
Johnny grinned wide and rolled his eyes. “Ugh. I’m counting down the days until you can’t use that as an excuse anymore. Then we’ll really see who’s better at getting the other person to laugh.”
He feigned a few deadly pokes to Peter’s belly to punctuate his threat, causing Spider-Man to stagger backwards frantically, giggling like a little kid.
“Quihit it!” he squeaked. “Now you’re the one not taking things seriously!”
“Oh, I’m dead serious,” Johnny assured him, a sinister glimmer in his eye. Spider-Man reddened even deeper, arms clamped protectively around his torso. Johnny backed off for the time being, although the devious smirk on his face remained. 
“I’m also dead serious about cleaning up your rep,” Johnny continued. “And I know the perfect event to host our next media blitz.”
Peter grimaced. “An event?” he repeated back. He didn’t like the sound of this already.
“That’s right,” Johnny said. He pulled out his phone and held it up for Peter to see. “The Fantastic Four is hosting a fan meet-up and photo-op thing in Central Park tomorrow at noon. The event is free, but we’re requesting donations for pictures and autographs and whatnot to raise money for local animal shelters.”
Peter blinked at the screen. This must’ve been the Johnny meet-and-greet Ned mentioned earlier, he thought. 
“I thought Spider-Man could make a surprise appearance. We can take some photos, charm the crowds, do a couple interviews with whatever press is there. It’ll be fun.”
Peter considered Johnny’s proposal and swallowed dryly. “That sounds like a pretty big leap from me showing up on your TikTok, don’t you think? I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.” Spider-Man scratched the back of his arm, voice small and shy. “I’d rather just…y’know. Talk to you some more. Without a bunch of cameras or other people watching. We can do more livestreams and social media stuff, if you think that’ll help. But…I don’t feel comfortable doing this sort of thing with anyone else except you.” He winced, realizing how that sounded. “I mean—not yet, anyway.”
Before Johnny had a chance to respond, Peter spun away from him, stretching his arms above his head. “Besides! I, um—already have plans at that time tomorrow. Thanks for the invite, but I don’t think the rest of your team would appreciate me showing up out of the blue and crashing their fundraiser. I might scare off fans who came to make big contributions.”
Johnny paused, then snickered, his freckled nose crinkling up in the most disarmingly cute way. “First of all, you’re adorable. I’m honored to be the sole confidant you’re willing to trust with your public relations.”
Peter’s heart skipped in his chest like a stone across a raging river. He wondered if Johnny spoke to all his friends this way, or if it was just him. He hoped it was just him. 
“I think you mean paranoid and violently untrusting of news reporters,” Peter chuckled halfheartedly. 
“Maybe. But mostly adorable.” He forged ahead without missing a beat. “Second, I guarantee people are gonna be wanting to see more of you after today. Go check out the now-trending hashtag ‘friendly neighborhood Spider-Man’ on all your favorite social media platforms. In the hour since we went live, the internet has already gone absolutely beserk with people sharing their stories about you.” Johnny held up his index finger pointedly. “Not all of them are flattering, mind you—but an overwhelming majority. Not bad for my first time doing this, I’d say. It’d be great if we could ride that wave of excitement by posting more content tomorrow.”
Peter couldn’t help it. He broke into a laugh, shielding his mouth with his hand, making Johnny narrow his eyes.
“What?” he asked amusedly. “What’s funny?” His cheeks hinted a light pink color. 
“Nothing,” Peter giggled. “You just sound a lot like your sister right now.”
Immediately, Johnny’s jaw dropped. “What? I do not! How dare you say that! That’s like—the biggest insult you could ever possibly hit me with!”
“You told me she’s the one who handles your team’s PR and whatnot, right?” Peter reminded him. “Isn’t that kinda what you’re doing for me right now? Making sure I’m putting out a good image and appearing likable and trustworthy and all that stuff?”
“This is completely different,” Johnny insisted. “Sue works with marketing agencies and consulting firms and giant corporate sponsors to bolster our team’s image. You and I are just making fun videos on my TikTok and Twitter and Instagram pages. I wasn’t planning to throw a bunch of money at this by hiring trend experts or data analysts or graphic designers or anything.” A giddy twinkle flashed in his eyes. “Unless—did you want to do that, or—?”
“No, no,” Peter assured him. “Silly phone videos are much more my style. I’m just saying.” He nudged Johnny playfully with his elbow. “Maybe you and your sister are more alike than you think.”
Johnny’s scowl returned in an instant. “Go to hell, Webhead.”
For the second time that day, Peter was startled by his phone trilling loudly inside his backpack. Lucky for him, it was Ned this time, who was far less likely to yell at him or make him cry by accidentally pigeonholing him into compulsive heterosexuality. Not that he blamed May, of course. At least…he was trying not to.
“Popular today, aren’t yah?” Johnny noted.
“Yep. That’s what happens when the Human Torch gushes longingly about you on the Today Show and posts unsolicited pictures of you in your pajamas.”
As Johnny chuckled at his retort, Peter jabbed his thumb towards the elevator in the corner of the room. “I’m gonna take this on the roof. We can meet up after your fan event thingy tomorrow if you’re free then.”
The Human Torch met his gaze with a wickedly enchanting grin. “M’kay. Come ready to star in my next groundbreaking, fun-loving Spider-Man social media production. We gotta post at least once a day for the next week! No exceptions! And since you’re not allowed to do anything superhero-y anytime soon, don’t pretend like you’re too busy or have anything better to do! ‘Cuz I’ll know that’s bullshit.”
Peter offered him a two-fingered salute. “You’re the boss, Flame Brain. See yah!” He took a few steps towards the elevator but stopped suddenly in the center of the room, struck with a choice that rendered him blushing and paralyzed. There were a lot of things the request might imply, should he decide to follow through—nonetheless, Peter felt it was a necessary and inevitable progression for their relationship (both as friends or otherwise), and would allow for consistent communication between them. 
With all these divergent thoughts swirling around in his skull, Peter reluctantly made up his mind. He turned back around and strode up to Johnny, the words sputtering nervously off his lips.
“Could I—I mean—w-would you mind—?” He shook his head, took a breath, and tried again, extending his hand. “Just—give me your phone. Please.”
Johnny blinked at the masked hero bemusedly, then held out the device with a chuckle. “Okay…?” he said warily. 
Peter took the phone and navigated to Johnny’s contact list, anxiously but determinedly adding his number to the roster under the name “Webhead” along with all the spider-related emojis he could find. He looked it over, once, twice, nodded to himself, then handed the device back to the Human Torch, shoulders tight and voice a tad shrill. “There. Now you can reach me anytime you need for whatever reason—whether you’re being attacked by Russian mobsters or want to run any more embarrassing content ideas by me before posting them on the internet forever or if you’re about to supernova yourself into oblivion and need someone to come help you—y’know, um, not do that.”
Johnny studied him with a look of delighted fascination. He plucked the phone from Spider-Man’s fingers and grinned at the screen. “I imagine someone like you doesn’t give out his number to others very often—especially those who don’t know your real identity.” He glanced up at him with a blindingly sunny smile. “I’m happy you’re trusting me with it. I don’t take that lightly.”
There was playful, teasing Johnny, and then there was this Johnny: insightful, sensitive, and earnest. Both were equally fruitful at transforming Peter Parker into a puddle of melted goop.
“No booty calls on weekdays,” Peter joked shyly. “I’m a spider of class and dignity.”
The loud yodeling ringtone belted from his phone yet again, making Spider-Man flinch. In his distracted, excitable state, he must’ve missed Ned’s initial call. If his friend was this determined to get through to him, he must’ve seen Johnny’s livestream and the overwhelming online response and be absolutely dying to talk to him about it.
“You’d better take that,” Johnny suggested.
Peter nodded. “Right. Okay. Cool. Great.” The young hero turned and skipped across the room, floating on the high of his uncharacteristic bravery. He giggled to himself, then threw Johnny a wave. “Catch yah later!” He answered Ned’s call and started to speak as he stepped into the elevator, then second guessed himself. “Whoops. I shouldn’t—bad connection in there. I’ll just—” he skirted towards the doorway instead with a skittish laugh in Johnny’s direction. “—take the stairs. Yep. Uh, yeah, so...bye! Again!” 
Johnny watched Spider-Man’s nervous and clumsy exit with an air of intrigue. He’d learned those characteristics were indicative of his nature, and normally not worth making note of. But in light of the conversation he’d just had with his teammates, and the jarring words Reed had left him with, he was inclined to dissect the webhead’s behavior with a far keener eye.
When the masked hero was gone, Johnny revisited the chat between himself, his sister, and her boyfriend in his head, and felt the gears of yearning and possibility start to tick, tick, tick into place. Maybe there was some hope for the two of them after all. Maybe he wasn’t as delusional as he’d once thought.
“What’s it gonna be this time, sis? Another stern talking to? Benching me for the next three missions? A new curfew we both know I’m not going to follow?”
Susan responded by shoving Johnny’s Fantastic Four costume into his chest. “Put that on,” she demanded. “For future reference, Tide pods do nothing for blood stains. Baking soda and warm water is your best bet.”
Johnny reddened in surprise, then begrudgingly slipped into the freshly laundered suit. He’d hidden it after hours of failed scrubbing and soaking with a plan to try dry cleaning next, but as always, Sue was faster and smarter than him. He crossed his arms and furrowed his brow once he was fully dressed, avoiding both adults’ hard stares.  
“Was any of that blood yours?” Reed asked.
“No,” Johnny grumbled. “We punched a lot of kidnappers, so some of it could’ve been theirs. But 99% of it was probably Spider-Man’s.” The Human Torch leered at him. “You know, because he got shot while saving two kids yesterday? Did you black out during my whole heartfelt testimony this morning? Or are you convinced as usual that I’m just making shit up?”
“I believe you,” Richards assured him calmly. “We just wanted to make sure you weren’t injured.”
Johnny’s biting tone wavered. He glanced between the two of them, noticing the lines of worry in both their faces, then gingerly lowered his gaze. “I’m fine,” he mumbled, rolling his shoulder a bit. By now the ache from colliding with the pavement was nearly gone. 
“And is he?” Sue asked in a thin voice. “Spider-Man?”
Johnny scoffed bitterly. “Like you care.”
“We do care, Johnny,” Reed insisted. “None of us want to see anyone around here getting hurt. And based on the amount of blood we had to scrub out of your suit, it must’ve been really bad. I’m stunned your friend isn’t in the ICU after sustaining a wound that severe.”
A hum of surprise trilled within Johnny at Reed’s choice of words. Friend. He called him my friend. 
“We saw the police footage of the people you were up against,” Sue continued, shaking her head, eyes sharp with fear. “Those were some seriously dangerous men, Johnny.”
The Human Torch grimaced, waiting for the lecture to start. Susan swallowed, then exhaled through her nose.
“Listen,” his sister grated out. “I’m proud of you for stopping those thugs and saving those kids.” She spoke the words as if they physically hurt her to say. 
Johnny’s eyebrows crawled towards his hairline. “Really?”
“Yes,” she snapped. “Really.”
Johnny narrowed his eyes, then gestured to Richards. “Did he put you up to this?”
“No one put me up to anything,” Susan shot back. “I mean it. You were outnumbered by a very scary opponent, but you took them down and got the civilians out unharmed. Before I say anything else, I wanted to make sure you knew that.” 
Johnny was taken aback to say the least. His sister was not one to hand out compliments to him easily—especially in conversations that weren’t going to be broadcast as promotional content for the team. But he wasn’t ready to let her off the hook just yet. 
“In that case, you should be proud of Spider-Man, too,” Johnny retorted. “He was the one who got the kids out safely. And he saved my life!”
“Which brings me to the next thing we need to address,” Susan said plaintively. “You cannot go off to fight bad guys on your own without your team there to support you—especially bad guys of that caliber.”
“I wasn’t alone,” Johnny reminded her. Sue’s face twisted in frustration.
“And if Spider-Man did save your life, that means he put your life in danger in the first place. No 16-year-old should be off fighting psycho mafia child-traffickers armed with weapons of war they got from—god knows where, without their adult teammates backing them, or—hell, even knowing about it. Do you hear me?”  
Johnny gazed at his sister numbly. “How about two 16-year-olds?” he proposed.
Susan frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
The Human Torch pursed his lips, then cursed himself under his breath. Spider-Man had shared his age with him in confidence. He doubted the webhead wanted him telling anyone else about it—especially other superheroes. But Johnny assumed one of the reasons Sue didn’t like them hanging out together was because she thought Spider-Man was a grown adult. Maybe if she knew the truth, she wouldn’t be so hard on him. Maybe a lot of people wouldn’t. 
It wasn’t his place to tell. But Johnny could already see the realization materializing across Reed’s face. An acrimonious breath escaped him. Too late now. 
“We’re the same age,” Johnny explained. “Spider-Man and I. We’re both sixteen.”
Sue’s eyes widened. “He—you’re telling me you’ve seen his face? You know his real identity?”
Johnny shook his head impatiently. “No, he just—told me. He’s told me a bunch of stuff about himself. The two of us have a lot in common.”
The crease in Susan’s brow returned in record time. “Oh. So you don’t actually know, then. You’re just assuming he’s telling the truth and taking his word for it? Do you know how shady that sounds, Johnny?”
“He’s not lying!” Johnny shouted, fire flashing from his fists. “And if you spent two seconds actually getting to know him, you’d know that! Why don’t either of you ever believe me about anything?”
“It’s not you we’re doubting,” Reed said gently. “It’s just…difficult for us to fully trust someone who’s so secretive all the time. Please understand that our only concern is your safety and wellbeing.”
“Is Spider-Man also the one who told you to make those insane accusations against Wilson Fisk on your livestream?” Susan asked coldly. “Is that another thing you just accepted as fact because he told you it was true?”
Johnny flushed, trying to conjure a sufficient response. “He…he told me those kidnappers work for Fisk,” he said reluctantly. “Spidey didn’t want me to say anything about it, but if Fisk is really funding a human trafficking ring while running for mayor, I thought the world needed to know how dangerous he is.”
“And do you have any proof that that’s the case?” Sue countered. “Anything at all that connects Fisk to those men you fought?”
Johnny tried to extinguish the flames creeping up his arms and fizzling off his scalp, but his increasing frustration was making it impossible. When he couldn’t find an answer, Susan scoffed, shaking her head.
“Wilson Fisk is a pinnacle of industry and influence in this community. He’s the only candidate running for mayor who’s directly voiced his support for the Fantastic Four and promised to work with us if he wins the election. If you’re going to accuse him of something that despicable, you better have fucking indisputable evidence before you open your mouth and make an enemy of one of the most powerful people in New York.”
Johnny swallowed, shame radiating off him in swells of searing heat. He hated to admit it, but Sue was right. Even if Fisk was guilty, defacing his name on his TikTok page with no proof to back his claims was idiotic and counterproductive to everything both his team and Spider-Man were working towards. He shouldn’t have spoken so carelessly.
“You’re going to delete the livestream,” Susan instructed him.
“I already cut the part about Fisk out,” Johnny mumbled. “Spider-Man made me.”
“And you’re going to issue a public apology stating you were misinformed on the situation and won’t be spreading unfounded conspiracy theories about public figures ever again.”
Johnny glared at his feet, hands balled tight at his sides. “What if I’m not misinformed?” he said quietly. “What if Spider-Man is right about him?”
“Then Spider-Man has a lot of investigating to do before either of you mention anything about it ever again. For now, you’re apologizing. The publicist will send the copy to you tomorrow to post after the fundraising event.”
A queasy feeling bled through Johnny’s insides. The idea of begging for forgiveness from someone whose henchmen were responsible for wounding Spider-Man so badly felt like such a betrayal to the webhead. If there was any way he could opt out of uploading that post tomorrow, he’d make it happen.
“I don’t have the time or patience to babysit you 24/7 right now,” Susan said wearily. “If you want to waste more time running around with that masked hooligan, I’m not going to stop you.”
“Good,” Johnny said smugly. “‘Cuz that’s exactly what I plan to do.”
“But I won’t tolerate you going off to fight an army of Russian mobsters without giving us a head’s up,” she clarified, “or making baseless accusations that threaten the integrity of our team. Got it?”
Johnny huffed, giving his sister a sardonic curtsy. “Aye aye, captain. Whatever keeps the stakeholders happy.”
Sue rolled her eyes as she turned away from him, marching towards her and Reed’s guest room. “Be at the great lawn by 11 tomorrow,” she called over her shoulder. “Don’t be late. And please look presentable.”
“That’s all you keep me around for, right?” Johnny hollered back. “Looking hot while I pose for photos and sign autographs and keep my mouth shut on anything that actually matters?” 
His remark earned a groan from his sister before she stepped into her room and slammed the door behind her, leaving Johnny quite pleased with himself for getting the last word in.
The Human Torch expected Richards to tuck tail after Susan like he always did, or request for the hundredth time that he cut his elder sibling a little slack. Instead, he stayed rooted in place, eyeing Johnny like a new species of amoeba he was studying under a microscope. Johnny regarded his sister’s boyfriend with a loutish glare. 
“Go ahead,” Johnny muttered. “Tell me again how she’s only hard on me because she cares and wants to keep me safe and blah, blah, blah…”
Reed shot a glance back at the door, then broke into a hesitant smile. “Actually,” Richards said. “I was more interested in discussing your little friend a bit more—perhaps without Sue’s well-intentioned but rather harsh convictions on the matter preventing you from speaking openly.”
Johnny blinked, caught off guard, to say the least. “Um,” he said, trying to track where he was headed with this. “Okay?”
Reed placed his hands on his hips and tilted his head to the side. “So…Spider-Man,” he mused. “You like him, don’t you?” 
Tiny fires flared at the tips of Johnny’s ears. “I…what?” he stammered, voice cracking in the most heinously telling way. “Who told you that?” Reed grinned.
“No one. Call it an educated guess. I was sixteen once too, you know. Nobody at your age is as slick as they think.”
Reed Richards and Johnny Storm had always had an awkward gap in their relationship. Being his older sister’s on-and-off boyfriend for the past couple of years and now the co-founder of their superhero team tended to put a damper in their geniality. Reed tried his best to toe the line between being there for Johnny in the ways he needed without overstepping into attempted paternal territory, knowing well it wasn’t his role to fill. But showing an interest in his romantic life—and catching on to Johnny’s infatuation with someone when he was trying his best not to flaunt it—was, in fact, a first for him. Johnny found himself blundering for words, a growing blaze of panic catching fire in his chest.
“I won’t tell anyone,” Reed assured him. “But I’m convinced your sister already knows, and—unsurprisingly—does not approve.”
Johnny crossed his arms tight to his chest, giving a short, rigid shrug. “And what about you?” he asked. “What do you think?”
Richards smiled. “I’m surprised you care.”
“I don’t,” Johnny said immediately, then swallowed. “But…is it really that obvious?”
Reed chuckled. “Yeah. Kinda. I can’t say I trust the guy as much as I’d like to, but…no way he’s as crazy as the news or Susan is imagining. From what I’ve seen, he seems like a decent kid.” A smirk tugged at his lip. “And I can see the appeal. You’ve always had a thing for the mysterious masked rebel types.”
Johnny fought back a giggle, mostly at the thought of how excited Spidey would be knowing Reed had described him that way. But his laughter quickly turned hollow.
“And the kind that’ll never like me back,” he added morosely. Reed’s face fell, and Johnny’s shoulders slumped. “Sue says I’m just making the same mistake I did with Sam all over again, and I’ll only end up breaking my heart a second time. And it sucks, ‘cuz I know deep down she’s right, but…this feels different. He’s different. He’s just…ugh.”
Johnny scrunched up his features and clawed aggressively at his scalp, disheveling his rose-gold locks into a scruffy jumble atop his head. “Spidey’s just…he’s one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met. It’s like he’s completely blind to his own struggles and safety but hyper-aware of everyone else’s—which is really sweet, but also annoying as fuck. He sees so much good in the world and is so passionate about helping others even though so many people try to paint him as a villain. He knows how to make people laugh even at their lowest point: when they’re scared or confused or in pain. And whenever I’m able to get him to laugh, let me tell you…” Johnny chuckled to himself at the thought of it. “It’s like straight serotonin, the sound of it. Literally the cutest, most addictive thing ever. Nothing beats the feeling of when I get a big laugh out of him—which isn’t exactly hard, but that doesn’t make it any less fun.” 
The smile on Johnny’s face was so wide as he spoke, it almost hurt. “Spidey may seem closed-off and mysterious from the outside,” he went on, “but once you get to know him, you realize he’s actually the biggest goddamn dork in the entire world. He talks super-duper fast and has a crazy quick wit—especially when he’s anxious or dealing with something he doesn’t want you to worry about. He’s an insanely smart science nerd just like you and Sue and can rant about molecules and substances I can’t pronounce for hours. He puts on this quippy, confident front most of the time, but he’s a surprisingly shy and insecure person.” Johnny scoffed. “And despite it all, he still makes me nervous. Can you believe that? It’s infuriating. Johnny Storm does not get nervous; everyone else is supposed to get nervous around me. But I can’t help it. I’m like a blushing, bumbling idiot around him. I don’t think he knows the effect he has on people. I don’t think he understands how incredible and brave and inspiring he really is. I just want everyone to see him the way I do. Even if there’s zero chance of him ever liking me how I like him, I have to get the world to understand why Spider-Man deserves to be admired and appreciated and loved.” 
Johnny’s saccharine grin withered into nothing. “I won’t lose another friendship by forcing my feelings onto someone who doesn’t like me back. He means too much to me. So…” Johnny shrugged pitifully. “If I can’t be with him, I can at least give him this.”
When the Human Torch saw the expression Reed was wearing and realized how long he’d been carrying on about the webhead, he felt his hair crackle like a campfire. Richards and him didn’t talk much about stuff like this, despite Mr. Fantastic’s relentless and embarrassing efforts to deepen their flimsy bond. Why was he suddenly pouring his heart out and spilling his guts to a man whose mousy nature and nauseating devotion to his cold and callous sister had always made Johnny want to broil him like a Thanksgiving turkey? Reed blinked at the teen hero slowly, stinging sympathy lifting the corners of his mouth.
“Wowza,” he said. “You’re down bad, kiddo. How long have you known this guy again? Like, five days?”
Johnny dropped his face into his hands, steaming with embarrassment. “Shut up,” he giggled.
“And you really don’t know who he is?”
Drearily, Johnny shook his head.
“But…you still like him? Like, like him, like him?”
The Human Torch hesitated, then nodded, face still smothered behind his palms. Reed chuckled.
“All right. In that case, here’s my two cents: I can’t speak to Spider-Man’s character or his trustworthiness or—hell, if it’s even mathematically appropriate for you two to date. But what I can say is this: if you have no concerns or reservations about him other than your assumption that he doesn’t like you back, you may need to reevaluate your deductive reasoning skills.”
Johnny lifted his head from his hands, searching Reed’s expression with wide, dubious eyes. “What are you saying?” he asked. 
Richards shrugged, failing to stifle a knowing smirk. “Look, I don’t know what Susan or anyone else has told you,” he conceded, “but between you and me, I don’t think Spider-Man is straight.”
Johnny felt his pulse climb to a deafening thunder. He inched closer to his teammate, stuttering through a frazzled, nonsensical reply. “Wait, you—w-what do you—how—?”
“And the reason I think that,” Reed continued, clearly enjoying himself, “is because I’m very convinced he has a similar infatuation with you as you do him.”
“Hold on,” Johnny stammered hoarsely, throwing his hands in the air. “Slow down. Why are you saying this? Where is this even coming from?”
“As I’ve watched you two interact these past few days, his observable behaviors have not been unlike the very ones you’ve exhibited towards him, which clued me into your possible feelings for Spider-Man as well as his own for you. Between you and Nova, the mania was as evident as day a one-sided affair. But I’m not extrapolating that same conjecture from your current fixation.”
“Why do you have to say everything so weird?” Johnny whined indignantly. “Just tell me in normal-people words what the hell you’re talking about!”
Reed sighed. “You said you get nervous around him, right? It seems to me he also gets very nervous when you’re around him. Higher voice pitch, faster talking speed, restlessness, fidgeting, laughing excessively. I don’t recall Sam ever acting like that when you two were together. Pretty incriminating evidence if you ask me.”
“That’s just…how Spidey is,” Johnny tried to explain. “Y’know—an anxious, giggly, fidgety person. Plus, he’s like, physically incapable of making himself shut the fuck up.”
Richards smiled. “And you’re sure he’s all those things all the time, or just when he’s with you?”
Johnny bristled. “I’m…yeah. Pretty sure.” He paused to ground himself, combing his fingers through his hair, crushing his feelings of excitement and hope into dust beneath his heel. “Look. It’s useless, okay? Spidey already mentioned dating a girl before. He’s straight. That’s that. End of discussion.”
“Weren’t you a serial girl-dater all the way up until the sixth grade?” Reed pointed out. “Does that make you any less of the flaming homosexual you are today?”
Johnny grimaced. “Okay, first things first—don’t ever say anything like that ever again.”
Reed chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. “Fair enough.”
“Second, that was pre-pubescent Johnny. Spider-Man was talking about taking a girl to his school’s homecoming dance last year. He’s never mentioned anything about liking or dating guys.”
“It is possible he only recently came to realize his attraction to the same gender,” Reed proposed. “People can also be attracted to more than one gender. Just because he recently dated a girl or likes girls doesn’t automatically disqualify him from liking boys, too.”
Johnny stood very still as he flipped back through his carefully curated collection of notes on the wall-crawler, which adorned the inside of brain like an elaborate tapestry. He analyzed and shuffled and highlighted important subtext. He strung threads between moments and jotted down little comments beneath entries. Could Reed be right? Had he missed something? Was it possible that Spider-Man actually liked him back?
“I can’t make you any guarantees,” Reed added, tearing Johnny from his mental investigation. “And I won’t pretend I have any advice on how you should approach the situation with your sister or with Spider-Man. But if you like him, and you believe he’s as good and honest and—well, cute—as you claim, and the only thing holding you back is your fear of unreciprocated affection…” Reed smiled warmly. “I think you should go for it. You might be surprised by his response.”
Johnny’s stomach was in fluttering, queasy knots. He had no idea what to do with Richards’ insights. The man was rarely wrong when it came to scientific hypotheses or analytical geometric theorems. But as for his gaydar? Johnny wasn’t ready to enrapture himself with fantasies of what he and Spider-Man could be based solely on Reed’s fleeting observations. Reed Richards was no Chris Harrison when it came to playing queer matchmaker for his girlfriend’s little brother.
Johnny wet his lips and scratched behind his ear. “I’ll um…I’ll think about it,” was the reply he eventually settled on. 
Reed beamed, the corners of his eyes crinkling behind his glasses. “Wonderful.”
Red-faced, and unsure what to say next, Johnny spun on his heels to leave. But he stopped with a hand on the door, speaking softly without meeting Reed’s gaze.
“You really didn’t tell her to say that?”
Richards frowned at the back of Johnny’s head. “Hmm?” he prompted him.
“Sue. You swear you didn’t tell her to say she’s proud of me?”
Reed’s features eased into a pained smile. “Yes, Johnny. It took a little encouragement from my end for her to go through with it, but I promise it was her idea. Not mine.”
Johnny swallowed thickly. “You think she meant it?”
Richards nodded. “I do. And for what it’s worth, I feel the same.”
Johnny fought back a smile, then rolled his eyes with a melodramatic groan. “You’re both so embarrassing,” he lamented. “God. Don’t you have something mind-numbingly boring and gag-inducing to get to? Like—I dunno—winning the Nobel prize for discovering a new element? Fucking my sister behind the bunsen burners in Tony Stark’s bougie lab?”
Reed’s cheeks went scarlet. “I—I don’t—”
“Or are you doing it somewhere even weirder? Oh god, don’t answer that—spare me the details. Just please make sure you’re wearing protection; I’m not ready to be an uncle to your stretchy, invisible demon spawn.”
“Johnny!” Richards exclaimed, face fire-engine red. The Human Torch cackled maniacally as he rushed out of the room, a pillar of fire trailing behind him. With an etiolated sigh, Reed couldn’t help but wonder if he’d made a terrible mistake encouraging Johnny to pursue something romantic with a shady individual most of the world considered a reckless menace. His concerns about Spider-Man resembled Sue’s in more ways than one, but he knew the more they objected to the idea, the greater Johnny’s interest in the vigilante would grow.
More than anything, Richards wanted Johnny happy. And right now, despite Susan’s best efforts, Spider-Man was the thing making him the most happy. Based on his quiet surveillance, that happiness was fortunate enough to operate on a two-way street. Spidey really seemed to like him back—stumbling over his words when Johnny teased him or offered him a helping hand, bouncing up and down like a kid in a candy shop when the two were engaged in conversation, melting into the Human Torch’s embrace when he thought no one else was watching. Even with his face hidden, the web-crawler’s body language was implicating enough. He wondered if anyone else had picked up on it yet.
The logical half of Reed’s brain hoped the pair never crossed that line. The smaller, sentimental side hoped one day they’d be brave enough to try. 
“I’m so glad Johnny Storm said what he said about Spider-Man. About a year ago, I was out walking my dog Lola when her collar suddenly broke and she got away from me. I chased after her as fast as I could, but I was too slow to keep up. When she ran out into the busy street, I knew she was a goner. I was about to watch my best friend get hit by a car and die right in front of me. It was the scariest moment of my entire life.
“But before the cars got to her, a streak of red swooped in out of nowhere and snatched her right off the road. I didn’t understand what had happened at first, until Spider-Man dropped onto the sidewalk right beside me with Lola in his arms. I was a hysterical, blubbering mess at that point, but he was so kind and patient with me. He walked with me all the way to the nearest pet shop so I could get my baby a new collar, carrying Lola the entire time and chatting with me the whole way there. I was so embarrassed with the situation and how much my dog was drooling and shedding all over him, but he didn’t care. I’ll never forget what he did for me that day. I’ll always remember how nice he was, and I’m forever grateful for the notes list he airdropped me of all his favorite thrift shops in New York. Dude knows some super obscure but highly underrated spots! I’ve scored some of my best finds this summer thanks to his recs. I’d really prefer to gatekeep, but if enough of you ask, I’ll share the list he gave me in the comments.” 
“Listen here, Mr. Jameson! I’m not one for posting videos on the web too often, but I had to come on here to make sure you knew that Spider-Man is a sweetheart who stands up for what’s right! When me and my girls attended the Women’s March last October, we were met with a giant mob of anti-feminist counter protesters shouting obscene things at us and waving around all kinds of hateful signs and flags. They were making everyone feel very unsafe, and a lot of people were considering leaving despite really wanting to be there to fight for our rights as human beings. 
“To all of our surprise and delight, Spider-Man came swinging from the rooftops to our rescue. He started covering their repulsive signs with spider webs and even snatched the megaphone right out of their leader’s hands! Every time they tried yelling more horrible things at us, he would drown them out by singing ‘Run The World’ by Beyonce as loud as he could or blasting ‘God is a woman’ into the megaphone. It was hilarious! Eventually, the counter protesters got so frustrated by his schemes, they all left in a big huff, and we were able to finish the march in peace. Now, does that sound like a menace to you? I should hope not! Unless you fancy yourself one of those backwards-thinking woman-haters, you’d better start respecting Spider-Man for the darling young man he is!”
“I never planned to tell anybody this story. But with everyone sharing their experiences with Spidey, I felt like it was time to share mine. 
“Two months ago, I hit a low that felt inescapable. I looked at my life, my loneliness, the state of the world, my lukewarm relationships, my shitty job, the endless repetition of each and every day, and thought: this is really it, isn’t it? This is all I have to look forward to for the rest of my existence. I felt so heavy and weary and broken, and was ready to just stop feeling altogether. 
“I was standing on the roof of my apartment building when he showed up. My feet were poking over the edge, and I was envisioning what my body might look like once I hit the pavement. I didn’t know much about Spider-Man at the time, but when he started speaking to me, I remember he sounded a lot younger than I expected. You don’t anticipate New York’s public enemy number one to have a voice that reminds you of your 17-year-old nephew, y’know? And based on the way he was acting, I’m pretty sure this was his first time dealing with this kinda situation.
“He asked me if I wanted to talk before I did anything else. I admitted that I didn’t, and suggested he leave unless he wanted to get blamed for what I was about to do. I couldn’t see any outcome of that evening that didn’t end with me dead in the street, but that didn’t mean I wanted anyone to have to witness it—or worse, feel like they were somehow responsible. Even if Spider-Man was as rotten as the news said, no one—especially a kid—deserves that. 
“I told him again and again to beat it. He kept asking if there was anyone he could call, anything he could say, something he could do. I was getting flustered and impatient, and spun around to yell at him to leave me the hell alone. Guess I turned a bit too aggressively, ‘cuz I wound up tripping over my own feet and falling backwards off the roof. 
I dropped about six or seven floors down before Spidey caught me. He started dishing out a million apologies, insisting that was the exact opposite of what he was trying to accomplish, and I couldn’t help but laugh. As he carried me to the ground and placed me on the sidewalk, I kept laughing and laughing until I was crying, and eventually that crying turned into uncontrollable sobs. I think those couple of seconds of free-falling flipped a switch in me or something. There was this explosion of all these conflicting emotions going on in the moments before and after he saved me, and maybe that made me—I don’t know, actually see the finality of what I was doing or whatever. While weeping like a fucking baby, I started ranting about how much I hated my life and all the stupid shit that had gotten me to the point where I was ready to off myself. I must’ve sounded batshit crazy, but Spider-Man sat there with me through it all until I’d run out of tears and things to say. Kid’s no quack, that’s for sure, but he tried his best to help. He bribed me into talking to the suicide hotline people by trading me Dratini on Pokemon Go. I’d been trying to find one of those for ages, and that little bastard had three! I think being able to swing from place to place on that webbing of his gives him an unfair advantage against the rest of us.
“Anyways. All this to say, Spidey saved my life that day. He didn’t impart any profound wisdom that suddenly made everything all sunshine and rainbows. He didn’t make any vacuous promises that everything would eventually be okay in the end. He just stayed, listened, said some stuff that made me laugh, and reminded me of the small things that make me happy—things I can build on and am willing to stick around for to continue enjoying for the time being. He may not be a hero in everyone’s eyes, but he’ll always be one in mine. 
“So if you’re ever having a bad day and happen to bump into Spider-Man, make him trade you a Dratini on Pokemon Go. By now I’m sure he has, like, forty.”
The video started to play again, but Ned closed the TikTok app and his phone along with it, turning to his friend in disbelief.
“I didn’t know you saved someone from taking their own life,” he said in quiet awe.
Peter slowly looked up from the screen, then smiled somberly, hunching his shoulders to his ears. “Like she said, I had no clue what I was doing. Someone else could’ve helped a lot better than I did. I just happened to be at the right place at the right time that night. It’s good to see she’s doing all right.”
Ned slipped his phone into his pocket without dropping his gaze from Peter’s face. “No wonder Johnny is trying so hard to get you to talk about yourself more online,” he gaped. “You do the most crazy heroic stuff every night, and hardly anyone knows about it! Including your best friend! Why don’t you tell me or anyone else about things like this more often?”
Peter took a big bite out of his hot dog, squinting against the blinding June sun. “I don’t know,” he murmured shyly. “I mean—you heard what that lady said. She guessed I was a teenager based just on my voice. And now fifty thousand people have watched her video and are probably connecting the same dots. The more people talk about me and the more visible Spider-Man becomes, the harder it’ll be to stay anonymous and keep the stuff I don’t want the public to know about me from being discovered.”
Like, say, my insanely huge crush on the Human Torch? he thought with a prickle of dread. 
“I think there’s a certain level of anonymity you’re going to have to sacrifice in order to make people trust Spidey more,” Ned told him pointedly. “I’m not saying ‘take off your mask and show your face to the world’ or anything. But if you and Johnny and others start speaking honestly about you more often, then yeah, people might suspect that you’re on the younger side, and sure, more of your interests and quirks and insecurities may come to light.” Ned dunked his jumbo soft pretzel in cheese sauce. “But I think that’s worth it if it means more people being forced to acknowledge what a badass superhero you are.” 
Peter wiped the mustard from his lips with a napkin, followed by the sheen of sweat on his forehead with his sleeve. “You really think so? You’re not worried about people digging a little too deep as, y’know—more and more of me starts showing through in Spider-Man’s public persona?”
Ned giggled. “Personally, I don’t think Peter Parker is showing through enough. Just look what one person speaking truthfully about you has led to! Now there’s thousands of videos and posts out there that prove you’re a good person! Isn’t it great to hear people speaking kindly about you for a change? Doesn’t it feel nice knowing that all the citizens you’ve helped and the good you’ve done hasn’t gone unnoticed after all?”
Peter sipped thoughtfully from his lemonade straw. He’d been so overwhelmed by the enormity of the response to Johnny’s call for Spider-Man anecdotes, he’d hardly allowed himself to acknowledge the substance of the content being shared, and how flattering a picture it painted of the webhead—a picture he’d never before seen reflected in the media until today. Since donning the mask at fourteen, Peter couldn't recall a time when Spider-Man’s name and image had gone viral online for positive reasons. To this day, a relentless onslaught of Spidey hate-posts were still being churned out minute by minute. But for once, the supportive ones seemed to outweigh the scornful. 
Yes, it did feel nice, he decided. To an almost foreign and inconceivable degree. Despite remembering every moment with every person he’d watched recount an interaction with the vigilante, as he listened to them share their stories and shower him in words of gratitude, it still felt like they were talking about someone else. Not Spider-Man. Not Peter Parker. Not him. 
“To be honest, it all kinda feels a bit too good to be true,” he admitted. “Being endorsed by one of the most popular celebrities in the world I’m sure has a lot to do with it, and it’s possible people are only saying kind things about me in hopes of catching his attention or being featured on his channel.” He ventured a small smile. “Still, I guess you’re right. It is nice. Maybe not everyone views Spidey the way Jameson does.”
“Yeah,” Ned agreed, cracking a grin. “Maybe people actually like Spider-Man.”
Peter shrugged, forcing nonchalance despite the unfamiliar ring of warmth circling his heart, irradiating him with bright spurs of hope. “Maybe,” he conceded softly. 
“In fact, maybe one specific person likes Spider-Man more than everyone else,” Ned added with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. When Peter met his gaze with a clueless stare, Ned groaned, throwing his hands in the air. “Johnny! The Human Torch! You know, the guy going out of his way to tell everyone how wonderful and amazing you are? The dude putting his entire image and career on the line to prove you’re not a menace? The person we’ve been standing in the baking sun in this endless fucking line for almost four hours to meet?”
Peter blinked stupidly, then peered ahead at the long, wobbly queue of teens and college kids and superhero fanatics standing alongside children dressed in Fantastic Four costumes crying in their parents arms. About a quarter of a mile in the distance stood the tall, colorful pop-up booth that held the promise everyone here was willing to roast and sweat and hold out for: a few moments of face-to-face time with one Johnny Storm.
To their left were the three much shorter lines for the remaining members of the Fantastic Four. Ned had already made it through each of them to get his Funko Pops signed while Peter held their spot in the ridiculously lengthy Johnny queue. As usual, the fan favorite of the team was painfully obvious, which granted Peter a small nugget of relief. Despite his new association with the web-slinger, Johnny’s popularity seemed as intact and resilient as ever. He could only hope it would stay that way. 
Peter flushed a little at Ned’s insinuation and tried rerouting the conversation. “Do I have to remind you that you’re the one who dragged both of us here in the first place?”
“No. Just saying. You’re already reaping so many benefits of being the object of Johnny’s desire. Maybe if you put on the suit and made use of that irresistible Spidey charm, the two of us could skip to the front of the line.”
“I am not…” Peter started to retort, cheeks burning in the heat of the sun. But the look on his friend’s face verified it was pointless, so he scarfed down the rest of his hot dog with a line between his eyebrows. “I already told him Spider-Man wasn’t coming,” he mumbled. “Besides. I thought the whole point of this was for him to see Peter again, not Spider-Man.”
“Wrong. The point of this is so lowly little lay people such as myself have the chance to meet a few of our heroes in person. You seeing Johnny again is our secret special side mission, but let’s be real: you get to see him all the time! I haven’t met him once! Quit being so greedy!”
A quick laugh punched out of Peter, surprised and chagrined. “Fine, all right, I’m sorry. Do you really want me to abuse my Spidey privileges and jump you to the front of the line? If you’re seriously that upset about waiting, I could try—”
Ne waved him off. “No, no,” he grumbled, fanning himself with a handful of napkins. “I’m just hot and sweaty and impatient, and complaining about it loudly makes it a little less unbearable.”
Peter chuckled, combing his fingers through his damp curls. “That’s valid.”
The line scooched a couple paces ahead of them, forming a gap the two friends were quick to breach. Ned checked his watch again—the third time in the last five minutes—groaned, then bunched up all the garbage he held in his fists. 
“This is nuts! I could go through all three other lines again and meet the rest of the Fantastic Four a second time before we even get halfway through this one.”
Peter swatted at a fly buzzing by his ear. “Why don’t you?” he proposed. “Better than standing here whining at me for the next two to seven hours.”
Ned glanced back at him, a smile lighting up his face. “Why don’t you?” he counter offered. “This is probably your only chance to talk to all of them as yourself, not Spider-Man. Why not take a break from being a superhero and go be a fan for a change?”
Curiosity and uncertainty sparred in Peter’s chest as he turned to look at the three other queues. He hadn’t even considered meeting the other Fantastic Four members at this event. He didn’t think they’d have time, but now it was clear they had an overwhelming abundance to kill. 
Peter ran his thumb along his bottom lip in thought. Well…why don’t I? he wondered to himself. It wasn’t like he planned on revealing his secret identity to them anytime soon. It might be nice to meet them again as his regular self: a civilian and a fan, without all the baggage and presumptions that came with his spidery alter ego. During their initial introductions, he’d never had the chance to say the things he’d planned on saying or make the impression he’d wanted. This could be a kind of do-over for him—if only to satiate his neglected inner fanboy. 
“You’d be fine waiting here for me if I went?” Peter asked timidly. 
“Of course! You already did the same for me. I’m gonna keep moaning and complaining whether you’re here or not; might as well spare you the headache.” He dumped the handfuls of garbage in his fists into Peter’s unexpecting arms. “Plus, you can throw all this out on your way over there. Win-win.”
“Wow, thanks,” Peter deadpanned amusedly, struggling not to drop any remnants of their greasy snack haul. He stepped out of line towards the trash cans flanking the Thing’s queue. “Text me if you’re nearing the front and I’m not back yet.”
“Try not to get on Dr. Storm’s bad side a second time,” Ned suggested unhelpfully. Peter cut a frown in his direction as he dumped an armful of napkins and wrappers in the bin, then walked to stand in Ben Grimm’s line. 
It only took about thirty minutes for Peter to make it to the Thing’s booth. The craggy mountain of a man stood behind a table overflowing with toys and action figures and other Thing merchandise available for purchase. The wall behind him had all sorts of shirts and posters bearing his likeness pinned up along with the prices. “All Proceeds Go To Local NYC Animal Shelters” the sign above Ben’s head read. Peter swept his gaze across the overflowing piles and stacks of Thing memorabilia. He wondered if anyone would buy stuff like this if it were Spider-Man themed. Possibly—if only to douse it in gasoline and light it aflame as an effigy to their disgust.
“Well? Yah just gonna stand there and gawk? Or y’gonna come say hi?”
Stiffening, Peter lifted his eyes to meet the Thing’s. He had the harsh, beastly features of a man transformed into a weapon of mass destruction, more than capable of leveling several city blocks before anyone could slow him down. He’d witnessed the power Ben Grimm possessed firsthand, and had very nearly been squashed by it. But blinking within that brutal exterior were a pair of eyes begetting a gentle and inviting kindness—one that likely impeded most children from bursting into tears at the sight of him, and enough to ease Peter’s initial concern.  
“Oh, I—right. Sorry.” Peter approached the stand with a sting of urgency, not wanting to keep others waiting. Ben flashed him a grin that looked less like a grin and more like a grimace.
“What can I do yah for, kiddo?” the Thing asked spiritedly. “Photos? Signed trading cards? A T-shirt with my handsome mug on it? It’s for a good cause. All the money goes to lil’ pups and kitties in need.” He pointed to the giant sign above him in case Peter had somehow missed it. Peter hinted a smile.
“That’s okay,” he said, not seeing anything he could afford anyway. “I was actually hoping to ask you a question.”
Ben raised one rocky eyebrow and scratched his scarp of a jaw. “Oh yeah?” he said. “Ask away then, squirt.”
“What are your favorite and least favorite things about your teammates?”
Ben threw his head back with a hearty laugh. “Audacious today, aren’t we? You want the on-the-record answer, or the off one?”
“Just the truth,” he answered simply. The Thing smiled and nodded.
“The truth. All right, then. I’ll start with my good pal Reed.” He shot a glance to his right, where his friend was sitting one booth over. “My favorite thing about Reed is his passion for pushing science beyond its current limitations to solve the world’s biggest problems and help those in need. Coincidentally,” the Thing added with a snort of contempt, “that’s also my least favorite thing about him, since his obsession with progress and making new discoveries tends to get him and the people closest to him in a lot of trouble.”
Next, Ben turned to his right, where Susan stood about twenty feet away posing with a little girl dressed up like her. “My favorite thing about Sue is how much she cares about this team and how hard she works to prove our value and virtue to the world. No one advocates on our behalf more than she does, and she’s incredibly protective of every one of us. She truly views the Fantastic Four as her family.” Clouds rolled across his expression as his eyes fell to the grass. “My least favorite thing is how much pressure she puts on herself. She worries so much about the wants and needs of others, she winds up neglecting her own. If the things she plans don’t go perfectly, she beats herself up about it. If one of us makes a mistake, she feels like she’s somehow responsible for it. She was forced to grow up so fast and be a caretaker from such a young age, I think she’s kinda perpetually stuck in that mindset. I’d love to see her do something indulgent and selfish for a change.”
Peter blinked up at the superhero with curious eyes. Perhaps it was crass of him to think this way, but he was surprised to hear such a thoughtful and discerning character analysis come from the mouth of someone who was strong enough to tear a person in two with his bare hands. He looked towards the Invisible Woman and felt a small twist in his chest. 
“And as for Johnny,” Ben grumbled out, a noticeable irritation entering his tone, “oh, boy. Where do I begin with that one? Kid’s been the biggest pain in my backside since the first day I met ‘em. I can give you plenty of things I can’t stand about Johnny: his temper, his stubbornness, his complete lack of respect for authority, his mile-high ego. You know he once bedazzled the words ‘hard ass’ in the middle part of my back where I can’t reach while I was sleeping? Bastard’s lucky he can fly, or else I would’ve pummeled him to coal dust long ago.” He nodded in Peter’s direction. “He’s nothing like you. You seem like the polite, humble sort with a solid head on your shoulders. Johnny could learn a thing or two from a young man such as yourself.”
A coy chuckle floated from Peter’s throat. “So there’s nothing you like about him?” he prompted the Thing hesitantly. Ben crinkled his nose.
“Hmm. Let me think.” He gave his wide chin a few thoughtful taps. “I suppose despite everything I just said, I know for a fact that if it came down to it, Johnny would risk his neck to save me, and anyone else on this team. Even though the two of us constantly butt heads, deep down I know he’s a decent kid who’s been dealt a very crazy hand in life, and he’s doing his best to navigate it. So there. I’ll give him that much.”
Sounds about right, Peter mused with a smile. The teen stood on his tiptoes to try to catch a glimpse of Johnny above the heads of the people in Dr. Storm’s line, but he couldn’t find a gap in the tightly packed crowds.
“Did that answer your question, squirt?” the Thing grunted impatiently.
“What about you?” Peter said. “What are your favorite and least favorite things about yourself?”
Ben let out a cackle. “That’s an easy one! My favorite thing about myself is I have the power to clobber anyone who tries to hurt my friends.” He held out his hand and wiggled the four pudgy, sausage-sized fingers attached to it. “My least favorite thing has to be how huge and useless my fingers are now. I mean, just look at ‘em! Try scrolling on a cell phone or using chopsticks with these meat hooks! It ain’t happening.”
The security guard standing to Ben’s left cleared his throat and gestured sharply with his head, signaling that it was time for Peter to move along. Peter’s grin dropped as he straightened his spine.
“Right. Sorry.” He eyed the donation box on the table and dug around in his pockets for loose change. “Uh, thanks a lot, Mr. Grimm. Great talking to you. And good luck with the fundraiser.” Peter managed to scrounge up one quarter, three nickels, and a pair of dirty, blackened pennies. He gingerly dropped them into the jar and hurried off before Ben tried to sell him a Thing prayer candle. 
Next up was Mr. Fantastic himself. As Peter waited his turn in the shortest of the four lines, he watched the bright-eyed scientist act equally shocked and delighted every time somebody wanted to get his autograph or take a photo with him. Adults and children alike exclaimed in awe whenever he stretched his arms abnormally long to embrace entire families and friend groups for pictures. 
Peter saw a lot of himself in Reed Richards. Without their flashy costumes or supernatural abilities, the two of them were nothing more than science-obsessed nerds whom most of society wouldn’t blink twice at. Fame and notoriety outside the field of scientific discovery were never in the cards for people like them—until those things were thrust upon the pair by some strange endeavor of the universe with a terrible sense of humor. 
Outside of being a superhero, at least Reed had the Baxter Foundation to his name. Peter wondered if he’d ever achieve something like that. He could see his future self working at an institution like Baxter or Stark Industries someday, but he doubted he’d ever own his own company. Spider-Manning already ate up too much of his free time, and his number one priority would always be helping out the little guy. Unless he founded a company focused exclusively on that, he didn’t want any part of it.  
But that was for older Peter to worry about. Right now, present Peter’s only priority was being a fan and geeking out. 
“Hello there!” Reed greeted him as Peter stepped up to his booth. “Welcome to the Fantastic Four’s First Annual Fundraiser! How are you doing today?”
“I wrote my finals essay about you,” Peter heard himself blurt out with a little too much enthusiasm. Perhaps he’d underestimated how excited he’d be to talk to one of his idols as himself and discuss things he wasn’t able to mention as Spider-Man, since it would reveal he was in high school. Immediately, Peter cringed and reddened, giving his head a quick shake. “Sorry—your book, I mean. On aerospace engineering and astrophysics. I wrote a paper about it. ‘Cuz, y’know. It was amazing. And you’re amazing. I’m gonna shut up now.”
Reed chuckled cheerfully. “No, please—keep talking! I rarely ever meet anyone at these events who’s managed to make it through one of my baroque publications—or greater still, actually comprehended them enough to write an essay on their content. And at such a young age, no less! How old are you?”
“Sixteen,” Peter replied. Richards gawked.
“And you read all fourteen hundred pages of ‘Engineering the New Age of Aerospace Exploration’?”
“I’ve read all seven of your books,” Peter clarified, scratching his neck with a shy grin. “But ‘Aerospace Exploration’ was my favorite.”
Mr. Fantastic beamed brighter than the glaring sun overhead. “You’re kidding! Holy cow! The only sixteen-year-old I’m around on a daily basis spends his free time coiffing his hair for hours on end and antagonizing his sister. It would do Johnny good to see what other people his age are capable of accomplishing with some discipline and dedication.” Reed extended his hand, which Peter took timidly in his own, and gave it an eager shake. “Please tell me you’re planning to pursue a career in the field of science.”
“That’s the dream,” Peter assured him.
Richards pawed at his pocket-less costume in search of something urgent, cursed, then ducked under the table to scour the nooks of his abandoned suit jacket. He popped upright a few seconds later with a card between his fingers and a triumphant look on his face. He held the piece of paper out to Peter.
“Call me whenever you’re in the market for a job or an internship. I’d love to sit down and really get to know you and what you aspire to do with that extraordinary mind of yours, and how the Baxter Foundation might help you achieve your goals. And I’m very interested in reading what you had to say about my book.”
Peter lit up like a firecracker. “Really?” he exclaimed, accepting the card from him. “You actually—I just—thank you, Dr. Richards! That would be amazing. I’ve always wanted the chance to pick your brain on quantum particle physics and zero distance string theory.” 
“Even more reason to look forward to our conversation,” Reed said spiritedly. 
Peter slipped the card into his back pocket and ran a hand down the front of his T-shirt. “Now I’m kicking myself for not bringing something for you to sign,” he admitted with a giggle. 
Richards’ smile widened. “Whenever we meet to chat, I’ll bring you a signed copy of ‘Aerospace Exploration.’ How does that sound?” 
“Like I’d better buy a lottery ticket on my way home while my luck is this good.”
“Luck had nothing to do with it,” Mr. Fantastic insisted, sending the teen on his way with a wave and a grin. “We’ll talk soon, yes?”
Peter nodded fervidly, even though he had no idea how or when he’d be able to make that happen. He didn’t dare meet up with him at Avengers Tower; too great a chance of that legendary intellect of his connecting the dots between the excitable teenager and the masked vigilante with the two in such close proximity. And technically speaking, Peter Parker already had an internship—with Stark Industries. It was mostly a cover-up for his time spent with Tony as Spider-Man, but it could still make starting a second one complicated. Perhaps he shouldn’t pursue that kind of thing with the Baxter Foundation at all, just to be safe. He was more interested in meeting with Reed Richards just to talk science shop anyway; working at his company might have to wait until a later date.
The third booth before Johnny’s had the most diverse collection of fans in line: chittering, giggly little girls next to men and boys who looked like they had a history of getting kicked out of baseball stadiums. As Peter neared the front, he peeked between the patrons ahead of him to catch a glimpse of Dr. Susan Storm’s table and fan merch, only to find it empty. Well, not empty of merch—there were enough hoodies, bobble heads, hats, and fridge magnets to fill a Fantastic Four memorabilia museum. But Sue herself was nowhere to be found. Perhaps she’d left for a break away from the mob of sweaty patrons. That’s what Peter figured, anyway—until he saw a floating pen autographing a child’s drawing all by itself, as if possessed by a ghost. Peter blinked, his brain not comprehending what his eyes were seeing. Then a hand suddenly bloomed into existence, holding the pen in its fingers, followed by the rest of the person signing the piece of paper. Visibility cascaded across Susan Storm’s torso and limbs, her head being the last part of her to regain opacity. The crowd ooohed and aaawed in amazement.
“There you go,” Sue said, offering the drawing back to the little boy. The kid squealed with excitement, bringing a smile to the Invisible Woman’s face that actually looked genuine for a change. The child’s parents thanked her profusely, adding a thick wad of cash to the donation box as they herded their offspring away. Only a few people left ahead of Peter.
“Can we get a group picture?” the men in front of him asked, looking a tad too eager for Peter's liking. Susan hesitated for only an instant, eyes darting between them, then nodded and stood from her chair.
“Of course,” she said, motioning the men forward. “Gather ‘round, folks.”
Whispering and snickering, the four guys surrounded the young woman. Two on her left, two on her right, two large hands snaking around her waist. Something prickly twisted in Peter’s gut. Once they were in position, Sue smiled for the photo, but with her jaw clenched taut.
“One, two, three!” the photographer called before snapping a string of pictures. The moment her obligation was fulfilled, Sue’s palms dropped to her sides, but the men kept their arms glued to her flanks. 
“Let’s do one more,” the shortest of the four men insisted, peeling into a grin that made Peter’s skin crawl. “This time, Susie dear, why don’t you make your whole body invisible except the parts that matter: that scrumptious ass and those delicious tits.”
The men cackled, including an awkward laugh from the photographer and a few nasty giggles from some people behind Peter. Shock collided with rage in Peter’s blood. He watched the fake smile on Sue’s face snuff out like a candle flame. Exhausted irritation dulled the blue of her eyes to an icy pewter. Her muted reaction indicated this behavior was something she encountered far too often, which lanced Peter with renewed fury. 
“You guys are pigs,” Peter snapped, stepping forward with his hands curled into fists. Susan shoved the men off of her with a look of controlled boredom.
“Ah, c’mon darling! We’re just messing with yah! Don’t be like that! We’ll make an extra-large donation if you do it! Ugh—how come bitches can’t ever take a joke?”
While Peter was debating which angle to punch his face from first, Sue turned towards the chortling men like a wolf cornering a wounded deer. She had the posture and cadence of a person well-versed in standing up to assholes like this on the regular. 
“One fun thing I learned about my powers recently,” the Invisible Woman said, face schooled into a blank expression. “I can create force fields inside other objects and expand them until they explode. It’s rather fun, actually. I’ve blown up water bottles, boiled eggs, mayonnaise jars, bricks. But you know what I haven’t tested it on yet?” Her eyes narrowed. “The human body.”
The men’s ugly grins wobbled. 
“I wonder what would happen if I expanded a force field inside your liver? Or your kidney? Your pulmonary valve, perhaps?” Her gaze flicked to the shortest man’s receding hairline. “Or maybe inside that balding head of yours.”
Tiny blue spheres sprung to life in the center of her palm and started swirling between her fingers in a smooth, threatening dance. She held them out towards the men as they spun and swelled bigger, bigger, bigger. “So if you’re interested in keeping the parts of your bodies that matter intact, I suggest you leave. Now.” The three force fields combined into one and shot forward, making the men flinch. The disk of concentrated power slipped underneath the donation bin and lifted it off the table; the box hovered to a stop right below the four assholes’ noses. “Be sure to leave a generous contribution on your way out. One big enough to reflect the scope of my phenomenal self-restraint.”
Slowly, shamefully, the men exchanged hesitant looks, beads of sweat glimmering on their foreheads. Then, grumbling to themselves, they began groping around for their wallets, averting their eyes from Dr. Storm’s menacing glare. 
Once they’d paid their penance, a security guard shepherded the assholes away from Sue’s booth. Rigidly, the Invisible Woman returned to her seat behind the table, forcing the ice to melt from her expression as she heaved a weary sigh. Anger spilled into sorrow at the hideous treatment Peter had just watched her endure. She’d handled it remarkably, leaving no space for anyone to believe that speaking to her like that was okay—but that didn’t make what happened any less demoralizing. On top of being a superhero, working round the clock to keep her brother out of trouble, and managing all of the Fantastic Four’s public relations, Dr. Storm was saddled with pressures that neither Peter nor her teammates would ever bear or understand. Perhaps her being expected to handle all those responsibilities in the first place was indicative of the pressures she as a female superhero experienced. Peter didn’t see Ben or Reed going out of their way to set up talk show interviews or put on events like this, nor were they likely to take the fall should those exploits go horribly wrong. And they certainly weren’t being publicly degraded by disgusting men. 
Everything she did—organizing fan events, advocating for her team, fortifying their public image, dealing with misogynistic assholes with poise and class rather than slugging them between the eyes like they deserved—it was all to protect her family. Including being distrustful of Spider-Man, he realized with a pang. Peter could relate to the proclivity to keep the wall-crawler as far from one’s loved ones as possible: he’d forged the identity of the masked vigilante for that very purpose. 
Even though they expressed it in different ways, there was one trait Sue and Johnny shared that was both their strength and their curse: how deeply they cared about things, even at their own expense. 
Susan cast her gaze across the busy park, gauging how the event was going so far, taking inventory of the attendees and the overflowing trash cans and the insufficient amount of shade, deducting what she could do to make sure everything and everyone was happy and taken care of. Peter could practically see the rapid-fire calculations running behind her eyes as he approached the Invisible Woman like a hiker tip-toeing across a frozen lake. 
“Hi,” he greeted her carefully. Peter watched Dr. Storm’s far-off gaze snap back into focus, eyes blinking as they jerked up to find his. 
“Oh—hello,” Susan said. Her soft smile returned, although it took a few moments to reach her eyes. She sat up tall and breathed with intention, reactivating her cheerful fan-service persona. “Sorry about all that. I hope I didn’t scare you. I probably could’ve handled that without threatening to blow someone up from the inside out.” She let out a weak laugh, face going pale. “Which I would never actually do, by the way. Oh god—why did I say that?”
“They got off easy in my opinion,” Peter reassured her. “I think they deserved a ruptured kidney or two. A couple popped blood vessels at least.”
Sue deflated in relief, glad she hadn’t scarred a teenage fan for life, then chuckled. “I like you already,” she decided.
“I’m…sorry they talked to you that way,” Peter said carefully. “It’s messed up that you have to deal with people like that.”
Dr. Storm did a quick scan of his face, expression gentle and welcoming. Much different from the hard scowl he was met with whenever she spoke to him in costume. Then she gave a nonchalant wave.
“It’s all right. Dealing with the occasional jerk just makes me that much more grateful when I get to talk to real fans like you.” Clearly ready to move on from the subject, she gestured to all the different trinkets and merch stacked across the table. “See anything you like? Do you have any pets? We have Fantastic Four dog toys now. My brother’s is currently the fan favorite, and it’s quite fun watching the pups chew on his face with such enthusiasm.” She squeaked one of the toys in her hand for emphasis. 
Peter smiled at the Human Torch plush, which had little felt flames poking out of its hair. “Johnny is really lucky to have a sister like you,” he thought out loud. He wasn’t sure if what he was about to say would cross some unspoken Susan Storm boundary, but he continued anyway. “It’s really inspiring to me—how you stepped up to take care of him after going through so much loss. Most people aren’t capable of that kind of strength or bravery.” He lowered his gaze, scratching at his forearm. “I was raised by a family member who stepped in to help after I lost my parents, too. I’ve spent the last decade watching her struggle and make sacrifices to shape me into a good person and give me a happy life. She never wanted kids, but she took me in and treated me as her own without hesitation. What she’s done for me—and what you’ve done for Johnny—I think it’s one of the most selfless and heroic things a person can do. I’ll never be able to repay the debt I owe her, but it’s people like you and her who make me want to dedicate my life to helping others.” He bit the inside of his cheek and shrugged. “I just…wanted you to know that.”
When Peter’s gaze lifted to Sue’s after his soapbox was complete, he was startled to find her eyes flooded with tears. She and Johnny really were a lot more alike than either of them wanted to admit. The Invisible Woman pressed a finger to a droplet on her cheek with a look of disbelief, as if she, too, was shocked by her reaction. Peter swallowed, skin flushing with regret. 
“I—I’m sorry, Dr. Storm. I wasn’t—I didn’t mean to make you—”
“It’s okay,” she laughed in a broken, watery voice. “I’m okay, really. I don’t know what’s come over me. That just—” She dabbed frantically under her eyes, trying her best not to smear her makeup. “— really caught me by surprise. Phew. I just—I always feel like I’m failing him, y’know? Like I have no clue what the hell I’m doing, like everything I say just drives a larger wedge between us. Like maybe I should’ve read a book or a manual on parenthood or being an older sibling and a parent at the same time or something, but…” She sniffled, fighting to resurrect her stoic mask of strength and impenetrability. “But…um…thank you. That was…very kind of you to say.”
“Of course,” Peter said with a cautious smile. Ben was right: Susan Storm put way too much pressure on herself, and clearly deserved far more recognition for her altruistic spirit than Peter or anyone else awarded her. It felt good to do something that made her feel appreciated for once, instead of apprehensive and pissed off. Even if she never warmed up to Spider-Man, Peter didn’t have the heart to hold it against her. Her disapproval was derived not from malice, but from the need to protect the person they both cared so much about. He shifted his weight between his feet. “Unrelated, but I’m also super invested in your research on the molecular mechanisms of microbial life forms that allow certain species to survive in outer space. Are you planning to conduct any new experiments soon?”
Dr. Storm stared at him like he had grown a second head. “How do you know about that?” she asked bewilderedly. 
Peter frowned. “Wasn’t that one of the things you were researching during your space mission in February? Y’know—before the particle cloud hit?”
Sue scoffed. “Yes, but hardly anyone knows about it. With Reed’s research on hyperspace travel being the mission’s primary objective and everything that followed after the cosmic rays struck our starship, my little passion project on microorganisms in space was understandably overshadowed.” 
“Well, I liked it,” Peter countered with a grin. “Your experiments with the ways the outer space environment can affect microbes’ cell metabolism, proliferation rate, cell motility, virulence, and biofilm production were fascinating, especially the parts evidencing the resilience of extremophilic microbial species. If you do decide to continue your research, know that you’ll be making one very nerdy fan who spends way too much time scouring through biochemistry news forums extremely happy.” 
Susan Storm smiled the most authentic smile Peter had ever seen her direct his way. “I doubt I’ll ever find the time or funding to explore that research any farther,” she admitted, interlacing her hands on top of the table. She gave him a small nod. “But…I’ll look into it. One science nerd to another.”
Peter mirrored her smile tenfold. “Awesome!” he exclaimed. “Maybe I can write my next analysis essay on your future findings. This research could help us understand how beings like Captain Marvel and the Asgardians are able to survive deep space travel at the molecular level without their bodily fluids boiling or the air being vacuumed from their lungs or—”
“Peter!”
The teenager flinched, head whipping towards the sound of his name. Across the lawn, he spotted Ned in Johnny’s line, only a few people away from the very front, hopping up and down and waving his arms around like his hair was on fire. He could hardly believe how far the line had moved since he’d left. How long had he been gone? Peter threw his friend a quick thumbs-up, then turned back to Dr. Storm.
“Going to see my brother next?” Susan asked, crinkling her nose with feigned disgust. “Could you go ahead and repeat all those nice things you said about me being a selfless and heroic sister to him? Y’know, remind him how lucky he is to have such a committed and loving older sibling? Oh,” she added, snagging something from under the table, “and would you mind giving this to him? Us Storms burn like goddamn marshmallows on days like this.” 
Sue handed him the item, which appeared to be a bottle of some kind of fancy Korean sunscreen. The thought of a guy who could light his whole body on fire being susceptible to sunburn made Peter giggle softly to himself. His heart buoyed at the thought of all the little things Susan remembered and did like this to show how much she cared for Johnny. She truly loved her brother, despite the message getting lost in translation more often than not. 
“I’m on it,” Peter promised, waving back at her as he stepped away from the booth. “Really great meeting you! Sorry again for making you cry! You’re amazing!”
Susan chuckled. “Great meeting you too, Peter.”
Peter startled. He didn’t remember telling her his name. He supposed she must’ve heard when Ned screamed it at him from Johnny’s line. Too bad she’d never know that Peter—the nerdy fan she’d deemed kind and trustworthy—was also the masked vigilante she considered a menace and a threat. 
Peter jogged across the field to meet his friend, who looked about ready to burst with excitement. 
“Thank god!” Ned exclaimed, grabbing Peter by the sleeve and dragging him back into the queue. “You weren’t answering your phone! I was in full panic mode thinking you weren’t gonna make it in time!” Ned noticed the bottle in his hand and scowled. “What is that? A souvenir?”
“Sunscreen,” Peter said. “For Johnny. Dr. Storm asked me to give it to him. Apparently he sunburns easily.”
Ned met his gaze, stunned. “For real? Aw! She entrusted you with a quest! I guess Peter Parker made a better first impression with her than Spider-Man did, huh?” 
Peter shrugged. “Guess so. With all three of them, actually. Probably has something to do with my big brown doe eyes and dumb squishy baby face. That’s how Mr. Stark describes them, anyway—which I hate.”
Ned snickered. “Let’s see if your doe eyes and baby face work on the Human Torch, too.”
The two friends scooched another couple steps forward in line, and the smooth wave of Johnny Storm’s sunset-gold hair caught Peter’s eye past the shoulder of the woman in front of him, quickly followed by a glimpse of his angular jaw, a flash of that zany smile. The fans he was currently speaking to moved aside, squealing to each other and shouting their “thanks yous” and “goodbyes” as they scampered away, arms loaded with autographed Johnny merch, and suddenly there was only one person between them and the Human Torch. He was mere minutes from meeting him as Peter Parker once again. Not as Spider-Man—a daring superhero with a life of thrills and adventure, whom Johnny considered his equal and friend—but as himself. Peter Benjamin Parker. An awkward, unpopular loser whose greatest adversaries prior to gaining powers had been overdue electricity bills and high school bullies. Not that those things had gone away after he’d become Spider-Man, per se. He just had bigger problems to deal with alongside them. 
None of this should’ve bothered him, seeing how Peter would just be another random fan for Johnny to forget about the moment he left his direct line of vision. But a tiny, paranoid voice caressed his mind with ice-cold whispers, revving the excited thump of Peter’s pulse to a wild roar: What if he finds you out? What if he realizes it’s you? What if he recognizes your voice? Your demeanor? Your weird nervous habits? It was pretty easy to keep people who knew him only as Peter from discovering he was Spider-Man; no one suspected a guy as scrawny and nerdy as him to be lifting cars over his head or fighting off feral space aliens. But this was the first time someone who knew Spider-Man extremely well was meeting his boring civilian counterpart more than once. What if Johnny clocked him the moment he opened his mouth?
Eager anticipation careened into nauseous anxiety. He grabbed Ned’s wrist, feet rooted in place, sunlight searing the back of his neck. 
“This was a mistake,” Peter croaked out, watching Johnny form a little heart-shaped flame in his palms while the girl in front of them took a video. He jerked his head left and right. “M-maybe we should just—”
Immediately, Ned tore out of his friend’s grip. “Oh, no,” he said, wrapping both arms around Peter’s elbow as tight as a constrictor snake and hauling him forward like a sack of potatoes. “No way am I letting you chicken out now. Not after six hours of waiting for this exact moment.”
Peter dug his heels in the hard dirt beneath them, throat dry, palms clammy. “Ned, wait—you don’t understand—”
“I understand perfectly, ” his friend interceded. “You’re nervous, and that’s okay! This is a complex emotional situation you’re stepping into. But we’re not gonna let some last-minute nerves get in the way of you and Johnny’s highly anticipated reunion. Not on my watch.”
Peter shook his head, sputtering out more pathetic, mildly coherent protests, desperate to get Ned to listen, but he couldn’t form the words fast enough. The woman in front of them was already wrapping up her chat with Johnny and moving away from the booth, leaving nothing but a couple feet of empty space between the pair of friends and the Human Torch. Peter’s heart ballooned as the young hero became fully visible to him: his infectious grin reaching every corner of his face, freckled cheeks flushed in the hot summer sun. At the same time, his stomach dropped like the Coney Island Astro Tower.
“Have a lovely day,” Johnny called after the girl, blowing her a kiss that floated from his lips in lazy circles of smoke. As he watched the haze fade into the atmosphere, an ugly feeling speared through Peter, lashing him down to the bone. 
Jealousy. And not jealousy for Johnny, like he’d previously assumed—but jealousy of the girl he was blowing kisses at. The realization made him consider throwing himself into the trash can on his right and hiding amongst the filth until he shriveled up and died. 
“I’ll break the ice, then you’re up, bestie,” Ned whispered to him. He gave Peter’s arm a squeeze, then skipped fearlessly towards the Human Torch, throwing a wink over his shoulder. “Don’t be weird! You got this!”
“Hey there,” Johnny said as Ned approached, flames flicking across the tips of his wiggling fingers. Effortlessly cool as always, he thought bitterly. Peter hung back, grinding his molars together, wringing the bottle of sunscreen between his fists. 
“Hello Johnny!” Ned answered emphatically. He swung his backpack to the front of his body and snagged the Human Torch Funko Pop box out of the biggest pocket. “I can’t believe we finally made it! My friend and I have been waiting here all day just to meet you and get your autograph.”
“I appreciate your incredible patience,” Johnny said, taking the collectible from Ned’s outstretched hands. “Our outdoor fundraiser of course had to fall on the hottest day of the summer so far.” He sounded a bit rehearsed and mechanical, like he’d been repeating the same phrases again and again all day, but no less friendly. He swiped a palm across his sweaty forehead and grinned at the bobble head Ned had given him. “Wow! Limited edition. These are hard to come by. You must be very proud.”
“Not gonna lie, having the full signed Fantastic Four set will probably be the proudest achievement of my life so far.” Shyly, Ned held up his phone, hovering his finger over the record button. “Would you mind if I filmed you autographing it? You know, for authenticity’s sake?”
“Go right ahead,” Johnny said warmly. He held up his index finger, the tip glowing red-hot. “Want it in ink, or burned on?”
“Burned, please,” Ned answered immediately. “Burned is by far the coolest.”
Johnny nodded. “You got it.” Using his pointer finger like a mini blow torch, he went to work gently searing his name into the Funko Pop box, sweeping his autograph across the thin cardboard in long, sloping arcs as he must’ve done a thousand times already. Ned smiled as wide as the Hudson as he recorded him, struggling not to bounce from foot to foot.
“Does your friend have anything they want signed?” Johnny asked as he finished the final stroke of his signature. Peter had been mostly hidden behind Ned up to this point, but his treacherous best friend stepped to the side so there was nothing left to shield him from Johnny’s magnetic gaze, shooting him an encouraging look. Peter’s face heated as Johnny’s eyes rose from the Funko Pop to meet his, then slowly widened.
“Do you?” Ned prompted him.
Peter shook his head rigidly. “No. I’m good. Thank you.”
“Hey,” Johnny said, wagging a finger at him, eyes brightening with recognition. “I know you!”
Peter’s heart practically burst through his ribcage. “W-what?” he yelped, staggering back a step. “You do?”
“Yeah! You’re that guy who yelled at me outside of the bubble tea shop.”
Peter’s jaw dangled open, then immediately clamped shut, relief draining through him. Oh, thank god. He only recognized him from that one-time encounter, not as the spider-themed superhero he’d befriended over the past week. So long as he played it cool, Johnny would never figure out who he was really speaking to.
You know. Because he was so good at playing it cool.
Ignoring Ned, whose face was about to split in two from how aggressively he was smiling, Peter swallowed. “Oh. Right. I’m surprised you remember that.”
Johnny’s lips turned upwards playfully. “How could I forget? You were awfully pissed at me that day, pretty boy.” 
Deadly heat shuddered up Peter’s spine. Ned smothered a snicker in his sleeve to his left. 
“To be fair, I deserved it,” Johnny continued with a shrug. “I caused a lot of unnecessary damage and was in desperate need of a reality check. You were right to call me out on my shit, especially since you said I almost killed your best—” Horror flashed across his expression as he clapped both hands over his mouth. “Oh my god,” he mumbled into his palms, voice dripping with dread as his eyes flicked back to Ned. “Was that you? Are you his friend I almost killed?”
Ned waved him off casually. “Don’t sweat it. Water under the bridge. It was really cool to get to see you all live in action—even if I did almost get blasted in the face by a fireball. Most eventful boba run to date.”
Johnny shook his head in dismay. “I am so sorry. I wasn’t myself that day. That doesn’t excuse what I did, I just—I hope you know I won’t ever let my own personal drama drive me to behave that recklessly ever again.” 
Ned tapped the side of his temple. “Trust me—in my mind, any bad things you’ve ever done are entirely negated by the fact that I now own a collectible with your signature on it.”
Johnny’s concerned expression eased into a halfhearted smile, followed by a light laugh that sent sparks sizzling across Peter’s skin. “I’m lucky to have such forgiving fans,” he said, handing the Funko Pop back to Ned. His Baltic blue eyes veered to Peter again, drinking in his features with unabashed curiosity. “I need you to know the Fantastic Four paid back all the business owners for the damages I caused that day, including the owner of that tea shop.” Earnestness and guilt saturated every word from his lips. “She’s set to start rebuilding next week, and I promised her I’d come by once she reopens to post myself trying her drinks to give her sales a big boost and make up for all the trouble I caused.” He searched Peter’s gaze, fraught to right the wrongs he’d committed, his neck and forehead slick with sweat. Johnny felt everything so poignantly, including remorse for his mistakes. He’d be gutted if Peter refused to forgive him, despite him being some no-name stranger he’d probably never speak to again. Like alway, it softened Peter’s heart to see just how much the Storm siblings cared. 
“That’s nice of you,” Peter said measuredly. The reply came out more curt and sterile than he intended, but he was scared of talking in longer bouts—scared that his voice or speaking patterns might start sounding familiar to the fiery celebrity. When Johnny looked wounded by his robotic answer, he added: “Thank you. For, um, helping her. And the others. They deserve it. Not having their businesses burned down, obviously, but—y’know. Being helped.”
Wow. Smooth, Pete. A true masterclass in playing it cool.
Johnny leaned back in his chair with one arm draped across the backrest and his opposite foot tucked into his lap. His sun-drowsed stare traced Peter up and down, studying him like a strange modern art piece he was trying to pull meaning out of. The corner of his mouth ticked towards the sky.
“You’re tough to read, pretty boy. First you berate me in the street—warranted, but still harsh—then you wait in line for hours and hours just for the chance to chat with me for a few minutes. I can’t decide if you like me or hate me.”
It didn’t matter how many times Johnny threw on a smirk and spoke to him in that bold, impish tone: the Human Torch’s charm never failed to fluster him to the same blistering degree. Peter dug his teeth into his bottom lip to keep himself from saying something he’d regret.
“Oh, he definitely likes you,” Ned answered for him with a giggle, making Peter go scarlet. 
“Ned!” Peter hissed, whacking him in the arm with the sunscreen bottle. Ned cackled as he winced sideways, rubbing at his elbow. Johnny eyed Peter with a renewed sparkle of interest.
“You do?” he said, irises like sapphires in the blazing light. “I’m having a hard time believing that.”
“We both like you for standing up for Spider-Man,” Ned conceded, causing Peter’s muscles to calcify. “He’s our favorite superhero, too.” 
It took all of his collective willpower not to react to the name drop. What are you doing!? Peter wanted to scream. The last person they needed to be bringing up right now was the famous wall-crawler. Any reference or association to the webhead in their current state was downright begging for Johnny to discover the truth. Him and Ned really should’ve spent a chunk of the last six hours establishing some ground rules for this conversation. 
Johnny beamed. “No kidding? See—I knew he had fans out there besides me! And you’re not the first people to tell me that today, either. I tried to convince him to come to this, y’know. Now I can tell him about all the Spidey fans he missed out on meeting.”
Peter pressed his lips into a thin smile while shouting every curse under the sun inside his head. Ned and Johnny both stared at him like they expected him to add something to the conversation. When he didn’t, Johnny narrowed his eyes. 
“I’m still not convinced you like me,” he admitted. “You look like you’d rather be anywhere else but here. I guess I can’t really blame you after everything I put you through, but still. It hurts. Is there anything else I can do to make up for my shitty behavior? There’s nothing worse than having eyes as lovely as yours look at me with such animosity.”
Ditsy warmth crept into his ears as a confusing hodgepodge of emotions washed through him. It both thrilled and disappointed Peter that Johnny was speaking to him like this. Of course he enjoyed being called pretty and lovely by his crush. Every compliment he tossed his direction sent the butterflies in Peter’s belly into a mad rush through his digestive tract. But it only confirmed his gloomiest suspicions: Johnny’s flirtatious behavior wasn’t exclusive to Spider-Man. He charmed everyone this way—captivating hearts left and right without even trying. It was encouraging to know that he liked the way Peter looked beneath his mask, but disheartening to realize his relationship with the webhead was truly nothing special. 
“Don’t mind him,” Ned said. He peered back at Peter, cracking a wicked grin. “He’s not mad; he’s just nervous to talk to you. You’re his biggest crush, after all.”
Johnny’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. Ned let out a fiendish giggle. Peter’s jaw fell open as his skin turned to molten iron. 
No he did not.
As the blush in Peter’s face permeated his bones, Johnny’s gaze snapped back to him. The teen’s mouth curled in delight. 
“Oh really?” he mused. “Is that true, pretty boy?”
“Y-your sister asked me to give this to you,” Peter blurted out before Ned or Johnny or anyone else had the chance to say another goddamn word. He shouldered past his snickering friend and jabbed his arm towards Johnny with the sunscreen in his fist. “She said you burn easily.”
Blinking, Johnny took the bottle from him, then scoffed. “Are you serious?” He turned in the direction of his elder sibling, lifting the sunscreen high above his head. “Sue!”
Dr. Storm glanced up from the fan-made doll she was admiring and cut a frown in Johnny’s direction. When Johnny mouthed “the fuck?” at her, pointing at the bottle, she mimed rubbing sunscreen on her face in reply. The Human Torch groaned.
“I can’t believe she put you up to this,” he muttered. “She’s ridiculous. I already applied plenty this morning.”
Despite the embarrassment ingesting him like quicksand, an unexpected smile seized Peter’s lips at Johnny’s childish irritation. He tapped a finger to his cheek. “Based on how red your face is right now, I think she’s doing you a favor. You definitely look like you need some more.”
Recapturing his gaze, Johnny returned his smile with roguish amusement. “I could say the same for you, darling—although I’m pretty sure yours is red for different reasons.”
Once again, Peter’s heart leapt inside his chest, the color in his cheeks deepening even more. Being subjected to Johnny’s flirtatious teasing without a mask to conceal its demonstrable effect on him was a whole new level of mortifying Peter had no interest growing accustomed to.
“What did it for you?” Johnny inquired, squirting sunscreen into his palms and gingerly dabbing it onto his face. “The hair? The teeth? My redemptive philanthropy and bottomless altruism? Or is it the flames? It’s usually the flames.”
Peter knew he was only asking to get a rise out of him, but Johnny’s question presented him with an opportunity most people would never encounter: the chance to confess to one’s crush exactly how one felt about him without enduring the consequences of him knowing who he was actually talking to. Spider-Man could never tell Johnny how he truly felt—but Peter Parker could. Because Peter Parker was no one to him. 
He would not gush over every detail of what made Johnny the object of his affection; Johnny got that every hour of every day, and his ego was already big enough as is. Instead, he would keep it short, simple, and honest—and perhaps grant the Human Torch a taste of his own mischievous medicine for a change.
So Peter swallowed his sticky insecurity and took a step closer to him, leveling his gaze with the smug twinkle in Johnny’s eyes. 
“I like that you don’t care about anyone’s opinion of you except for the people most important to you,” Peter stated matter-of-factly. To top it off, he reached out and gently rubbed the streak of sunscreen on Johnny’s forehead into his skin, gliding his thumb across the scar just above his eyebrow. “But the hair and the flames are a nice added bonus.”
Although already pink with sunburn, Peter swore he saw the Human Torch’s cheeks flush a shade darker, and his enhanced hearing picked up on the sound of his heart thumping a few beats faster. A triumphant smirk found Peter’s lips. Just because he was the one with the crush didn’t mean Johnny got to have all the fun with it. He let his thumb drag along the line of Johnny’s temple as he pulled his hand away. The Human Torch blinked at him, lips parted, eyes wide, then lightly touched where Peter's finger had been, tiny wisps of smoke curling off his scalp. 
“What’s your name?” he asked suddenly. There was no toying or playfulness in his tone this time—only genuine interest. Now it was Peter’s turn to be caught off guard. He supposed there was no point in lying. 
“Peter,” he said.
“Peter what?”
A shy giggle escaped him. “Parker. Peter Parker.”
Johnny giggled back. “Well then, Peter Parker. You’re a very mysterious person. I like that.” He held up his fist for Peter to bump. “It was great to see you again. Looking forward to the next time we meet.” 
Peter smiled, reaching out to tap his knuckles to Johnny’s, but froze just before they made contact. Despite the heat, a sudden chill crawled up his spine. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Fear raked its claws across his skin. 
“Peter?” he heard Ned call, followed by a rumble of excited chatter from the crowds surrounding them. A moment later, a shadow rose up behind him, blocking out the sun, casting Johnny’s wide eyes in a shaft of darkness. A monstrous hand curled around his shoulder, making Peter’s entire body seize up. He knew who it was before he even saw his face or heard his voice. His senses had warned him of that ruthless presence many times before. His lungs had screamed for air as those bloodthirsty fingers crushed the oxygen from his windpipe. 
“Pardon me,” the man behind him said, his voice as deep and haunting as he remembered. The last time he’d heard it, it was roaring with laughter as Peter fled through a shattered window, glass slicing his hands, broken ribs crunching like glow sticks, vision tunneling with pain and terror. “Mr. Storm and I need a moment alone, if you don’t mind.”
Peter’s eyes slowly rose to find the face of the man looming over him. He had brutal eyes and deep frown lines that fixed him with a constant look of vitriol, even when he was smiling. His bald head gleamed in the sunshine like a freshly peeled egg. 
Kingpin. 
Wilson Fisk didn’t even bother to look at Peter as he shoved him out of his way. He regarded him with the same courtesy a charging elephant awards a twig. Peter stumbled back into Ned, very nearly knocking both of them to the ground. Photographers and media workers immediately flocked to the scene, knocking into the two teens as they jostled for space with Fisk’s bodyguards, blocking Johnny from Peter’s view. Alarm flooded the young hero’s veins. 
“Fisk,” Peter breathed. “I—I have to stop him. He’s going to hurt—”
Ned yanked him backwards with a hand around his bicep. “Peter, we can’t,” he whispered fearfully. “Come on—we have to go.”
Peter turned on his friend in disbelief. “We can’t just leave him!” he hissed. “What if Fisk attacks him for all those things he said? I have to be here to help!”
“Fisk won’t attack him in broad daylight,” Ned insisted. “Not with all these fans around. He’s a politician. Besides—if he tries anything, the Fantastic Four will wipe the floor with that loser. You’d be risking exposing your secret identity for nothing.” He gave his arm another sharp tug. “Come on. We’re gonna get in trouble.”
“But—” Peter protested, eyes whipping back to the mob of people and the barbaric murderer standing between him and Johnny. This wasn’t right. This was downright treacherous. Johnny had risked everything to protect him when he was in trouble. Peter had to be there to make sure he was safe. He’d reveal himself to the whole world if that meant keeping Johnny safe.
“All right, boys. Move along.” One of Johnny’s security guards marched towards them with a scowl, wafting at them with his hand like they were an unruly stench he was trying to get rid of. “You’ve had your turn. Either move to the back of the line, or beat it.”
Ned nodded fervently. “Got it. We’re going, Thank you, sir.” Ned gave Peter’s forearm another quick jerk, forcing him to lurch back a few treasonous steps. For half a second, his eyes found Johnny’s amidst the throng of people pressing around the young celebrity’s booth. They looked startled, confused, but not afraid. Sweat slipped down Peter’s shoulder blades and dampened the back of his T-shirt. 
You should be afraid, Flame Brain.  
“He’ll be okay,” Ned tried to reassure him, practically dragging his friend away from the queue. “Fisk won’t touch him. He’s not that stupid.”
“I have to be sure,” Peter answered hollowly. 
Even though the sun was beginning to dip beneath the horizon, its piercing glow seared Peter’s flesh worse than it had all day.  
Johnny met Peter Parker’s gaze one last time before the boy disappeared behind a wall of bodies and cameras. For some reason, his soft brown eyes were charged with fear, the color in his cheeks draining to a pallid gray. He looked like he’d seen a ghost when Wilson Fisk and his posse rolled into their fundraiser as if they owned the place. 
Sweet guy. Cute, too. He’d always been a sucker for baby browns and curly hair. Too bad Johnny’s heart was solely preoccupied with arachnid-themed superheroes who may or may not be heterosexual. Despite Reed’s certainty on the matter, the verdict was still up for debate as far as he was concerned. 
He turned his attention back to the unnaturally large man towering over him like a skyscraper in a three piece suit. Cold, calculating eyes bored into his own. The smell of Mont Blanc cologne mixed with heavy perspiration assaulted his nose in the most unpleasant fashion. He had the air of an oversized baby parading around in designer brands, but with enough power to keep you from making jokes about it. 
Johnny had never spoken to Wilson Fisk before. He’d spotted him a few times attending the same galas and charity events as him—only because he was almost impossible to miss—but they had yet to meet face-to-face. He supposed neither of them had had a reason to until now. 
“Good afternoon, Mr. Storm,” Fisk greeted him. He wore a smile that resembled a constipated sneer. “Fundraiser going well, I presume?”
Despite the climbing of his pulse, Johnny fixed his features into an expression of bland disinterest. “Sure is,” he replied, gesturing haphazardly to the thermometer-shaped donation log behind him. “This one’s on track to be our best one yet. There’s something about puppies and kittens in need that makes guilt-ridden rich folk unusually eager to open up their hearts and their wallets.” Johnny nodded towards Fisk’s guards, who had set up a perimeter between them and the impatient queue of fans, blocking anyone from stepping within a 30-door radius of their boss. “That’s why you’re here disrupting our entire event, right? ‘Cuz you’ve got a big check to cash for all those poor little animals?”
Wilson Fisk chuckled—a deep, guttural sound that rolled like thunder from his barrel-shaped chest, making Johnny’s skin crawl. “Of course,” Fisk assured him, patting the breast pocket of his silver suit jacket. “I wouldn’t dream of showing up to a function hosted by the Fantastic Four without my checkbook and pen handy. Your sister has truly mastered the art of monetizing your team’s image.” He flashed a barracuda grin. “For the poor little animals, of course.”
Sweat slipped between his skin-tight suit and the bend of his spine as Johnny ventured a glance in Susan’s direction. She was doing her best to stay focused on the fans at her booth, but the fear in her eyes was electric each time they flickered his way. 
“But first, I’d like to talk about some of the alarming comments you made about me recently.”
Johnny faced the man in front of him with a calm frown. “Saying those things was a mistake I assure you won’t happen again.” He wove his fingers together and placed them on top of the table. “I shouldn’t believe every flippant piece of gossip I hear that finds its way to me through the rumor mill. And I certainly shouldn’t tell others about anything I’ve heard until I have undeniable evidence supporting my claims.”
Fisk flared his nostrils at the teen's beguiling response. “I can assure you, Mr. Storm, that whatever insidious hearsay you’ve been told about me is entirely false. A full breakdown of my business operations and my personal history is available to the public on my website. I have nothing to hide.” The jagged creases in his forehead deepened. “I’m running for mayor of this city to combat crime and purge the corruption that plagues our political systems, and the last thing I need is a high-profile public figure such as yourself casting doubt on my credibility and defaming my name. The people of this city trust you, Mr. Storm. Your words hold power. It does not serve you well to use that power to spread lies.”
Johnny’s gaze hardened. “Like I said,” he told him firmly. “Won’t happen again.”
“I’m afraid I need you to do better than that." Fisk adjusted his tie, running his fingers along the ornate silk detailing. “You see, I’m the only mayoral candidate with a plan to work directly with superheroes such as yourself to reduce crime and make this city safer. I want the Fantastic Four to become an official part of the justice department so we can all band together to get bad guys off the streets. It’s to your benefit that I’m elected—and for that to happen, not only do I need you to stop tarnishing my name to your followers. I need your direct endorsement. You can get me the youth vote, and I can get you and your team all the funding and authorization needed to do what you do better than ever before. We can help each other, Mr. Storm. If I win, we all win.”
Johnny crossed his arms against his chest and tilted his chin slightly upward. “Not according to Spider-Man.”
The slippery smile on Fisk’s lips fell in an instant. Darkness twisted his features into an expression that turned Johnny’s guts to ice. 
“Ah,” Fisk growled. “Yes. Spider-Man.” He pulled a handkerchief out of his jacket and dabbed at the beads of sweat speckled across his hairless head. “Tell me, Johnny—how long have you been acquainted with our friendly neighborhood menace?”
“Long enough to know he’s not a menace,” Johnny shot back. “And that both of us have plenty of reasons not to trust you.”
“And what reasons might those be?”
Johnny opened his mouth, then quickly shut it again, swallowing. If what Spidey suspected of Fisk was true, it might be dangerous for him to know how much Johnny knew about his illegal proclivities. When Johnny didn’t answer, Fisk grinned, laying his palms on the table between them and leaning in closer.
“Whatever it is he’s accused me of, why don’t you ask him to provide you some proof. Any proof. I guarantee he’ll have nothing but empty promises and blatant falsehoods to support his baseless claims.” He pressed further into Johnny’s personal space—so much so that he could feel the heat of his breath when he spoke. “Spider-Man is a depraved criminal, Mr. Storm. The kind that plays the part to earn your trust, then tears you down when you least expect it. I trusted him once too, you know—as I’m sure many others have. But it always leads to the same painful conclusion: his fear and envy of true power driving him to dismantle those in possession of it.”
Johnny pursed his lips, daring not to breathe, but refusing to back away from the unsightly face lurking uncomfortably nearer to his own. 
“You’re a clever boy, Johnny,” Fisk continued. “Strong, talented, and influential, as well. All things that Spider-Man loves to bleed dry from his victims. I’ve been able to evade his destructive path thus far, but I’d hate to see you befall the fate that has led this city to curse the arachnid’s name.” Fisk erected his spine and held out a massive hand for Johnny to take. “Join me, Mr. Storm. Together, we can rid New York of Spider-Man’s foul presence, and ensure that the Human Torch becomes the most powerful and beloved superhero this world ever sees.”
Johnny’s eyes lowered to the massive palm presented to him, then flicked back up to meet Fisk’s. It was an effort not to wrinkle his nose in revulsion as he willed his face into an unreadable wall. He cleared his throat, then stood from his chair, rising to be as close to eye-level with the man as all 5’11” of him could manage.
“First of all, I’m already the most powerful and beloved superhero. If there’s anyone here who's afraid of my power, it’s you.” Flames fizzled off his shoulders and danced down his forearms. “Second, Spider-Man is my friend—and a good fucking person. If you plan to hurt him, you’re going to have to go through me first. And trust me when I say that if things get to that point, winning an election will be the least of your concerns.”
The two of them stared each other down, a live wire running between their locked gazes. Fisk’s eyebrows knit together as his expression took a turn for the deadly. His outstretched hand cinched into a fist. 
“And trust me, young man,” he sneered, “when I say that I am not somebody you want to make your enemy. You think you’re the only person here with power and influence? I’m just as capable of lifting you up as I am of bringing you down.”
Unease simmered beneath Johnny’s skin. “Is that a threat?” he asked coldly.
“No,” Fisk replied, flashing a Cheshire Cat smile. “It’s a promise.”
Johnny held the beastly man’s glare, suppressing a shudder. He clenched his jaw, gradually diminishing the flames roiling across his body. 
Spider-Man was right about him.
Fisk’s hand suddenly slipped inside his suit jacket, making Johnny tense up reflexively. He grinned at the fear in the young hero’s eyes as he retrieved a thin piece of paper from a hidden inner pocket and held it out for Johnny Storm to take.
“Whatever your final earnings for the fundraiser are, match ‘em. Everything but the dollar amount is already filled in. That should suffice for my untimely intrusion and make all those misfortunate animals happy, yes?”
A wave of dread washed over Johnny as he reluctantly accepted the check from his bowling ball-sized fist. Something told him whatever donation amount they ended up cashing in from Fisk, it would clear instantly, and be bathed in blood. 
“I do hope you reconsider my offer,” Fisk added. “You and I share many passions and could accomplish great things together. Who one chooses to align oneself with can make or break his future.” He shook his head solemnly. “It’d be a shame to nail yours to the same crucifix Spider-Man has nailed his.” 
With that, Fisk rapped his knuckles against the table, signaled something to his army of guards, then turned and walked away. Johnny watched his boulder of a back shrink farther and farther into the distance and released a slow, shaky breath, grateful to be free of the man’s inky leer, but unable to shake the disquieting queasiness his presence had left him with. He took a long sip of water and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 
Well. I’m definitely not publishing that apology now.
“Johnny?” the next fan waiting to meet him called from an awkward distance away. She clutched a Human Torch Squishmallow close to her chest and offered a hesitant smile. “Can, um—can we come over now?” Her along with the rest of the patrons whose line stretched as far as the eye could see peered back at him impatiently, each of their turns with the celebrity hero well overdue.
“Yes—right—sorry. Of course.” Johnny scrubbed a hand through his hair and waved her forward, painting on his happiest, friendliest face. “Welcome, everyone. So sorry for the delay. Step right up, beautiful. Oh, wow—I love your shirt! Where’d you get it from?”
As Johnny chatted and signed stuff and collected donations from people, pushing down the paranoia Fisk had afflicted him with like poison, struggling to stay cheerful and energized for the sake of his fans, he swore he spotted a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. It vanished the moment he looked directly at it, evanescing into the branches of a large maple tree, but he could’ve sworn it was real. And something about that particular shade of red was unusually familiar to him. 
He supposed it could’ve been a bird, a kite, some trick of the imagination. He didn’t have time to dwell on it anyhow. He had fans to entertain and a fundraiser to run. If Fisk wanted to flaunt his excessive liquidity about, Johnny was determined to squeeze every last penny he could get out of him. 
33 notes · View notes
bodrewritten · 6 months
Text
Daughter of Discord Rewritten Chapter 2: Special Delivery
2:00pm
"We're almost there!" Pinkie Pie chimed as she led Fluttershy and Discord towards Sugar Cube Corner. The gravel path crunched satisfyingly under their hooves, and Celestia's sun was sharing its warm spring embrace onto their backs. Fluttershy's face glowed bright and her eyelashes bat away in the glare of the beautiful sunlight.
"You sure you don't want me to carry you?"
She shook her head as she steadied herself. "No, I can handle it. Pinkie, what's this all about, anyway?"
"You'll see!" Pinkie snorted as she bounced up the bakery steps.
Fluttershy was about to follow her when Discord scooped her into his arms.
"Oh dearie, you're such a gentleman!" She giggled.
As soon as they were inside, every pony jumped out of hiding and shouted:
"SURPRISE!"
Fluttershy gasped at the decorated room before her. Her five best friends as well as Spike and her three favorite fillies were there. On the wall was a banner reading: 'Congratulations!'
"What is…?"
"We threw you a baby shower!" Pinkie Pie squealed.
"But it isn't even born yet, it can't even take baths..." Discord said, confused.
The mares laughed.
"A baby shower is a party for expecting mothers," Twilight explained. "Her female friends organize it and bring gifts for the new baby."
Tears filled Fluttershy's eyes. "Girls, this is wonderful! Thank you so much!"
"Don't thank us yet!" Pinkie insisted. "You haven't opened your presents yet!"
She led her friend to the stack of presents and handed her one wrapped in pink, with a green bow.
Discord turned to the young spike, who was now taller and sharper than before. He even had wings now!
"if this is a mare's party, then why are we here? You're a little man," discord accentuated with a noogie, "and I'm... Some sort of he-what-who-thing." Spike shrugged and sat on Discord's shoulders.
"Open mine first!"
Fluttershy was about to sit down when Discord summoned a comfortable pillow beneath her. Pinkie placed the gift in her lap and Fluttershy began unwrapping it. She opened the box to reveal a yellow and orange hat with a green propeller. She took it out and looked at it questioningly.
"I saw it in the hat shop the other day and thought it would look cutesy wootsy on your baby!" Pinkie said excitedly.
Discord twirled the propeller. "It is kind of cute."
"Thank you, Pinkie," Fluttershy smiled. "I'm sure our child will love it."
"Now for the one from me!" Rarity said, handing her a box in purple wrapping and a periwinkle bow.
Inside were six sets of foal-sized foot pajamas in red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple.
"Of course, when the baby arrives, I can make a whole new set with proper measurements on the case that it isn't... Pony shaped."
"They're beautiful, Rarity," Fluttershy said.
She opened Twilight's present next: an illustrated book on fairytales to read to the child. Then Rainbow Dash gave her a red, green, and white rattle, which she explained had been hers as a foal.
Next was Applejack's present: a baby bonnet with apples embroidered along the edge.
"It was mine," Applejack explained, "I figured you should have it."
"Me next!" Apple Bloom bounced!
The filly gave her a small quilt. It was checkered in brown and yellow. Each yellow square was decorated with a pink butterfly matching Fluttershy's cutie mark and each brown square had a black and white spiral in the center.
"I made it myself!" Apple Bloom said proudly. "I incorporated both the parents' personalities into it, so that your baby may always be reminded how special she is!"
"Apple Bloom," Fluttershy uttered, "this is beautiful!"
She slid out of her seat and gave the filly a hug. The dragon then hopped off of Discord with his gift.
"I had to ask Twilight's permission for this first," he said.
In the box was an old stuffed green dragon, covered in felt armor.
"This is Sir Lionheart," Spike explained. "Twilight gave him to me after she took me home, but I've kind of grown out of it. I'm sure Discord Jr. will like it!"
"I have a toy for the baby too!" Scootaloo announced. She brought out a tiny red scooter with a yellow bow on it. "This was my first scooter, but I've gotten too big for it now."
"And I have a record of my favorite lullabies!" Sweetie Belle said, holding up said record.
"Oh, thank you, everyone!" Fluttershy exclaimed. "These are all such wonderful presents!"
"We're not done," Twilight declared. "We all pitched in on this one."
Pinkie Pie bounced upstairs, followed by the cowgirl. The returned with a wooden crib painted glittery green and decorated with pink roses on the side. The cushion was feathered and the laced pillow was made of silk. Fluttershy was sobbing with a smile.
"You are all such wonderful friends and I know our baby is going to have the best aunts, and cousin, in the world!"
They all moved into a group hug when suddenly, Fluttershy felt a sharp pain in her belly. She let out a cry and clutched her stomach. Her friends backed away as Discord flew to her side.
"Honey, what's wrong?!" he pleaded.
"The baby," she wheezed. "I think it's coming!"
"Now?! But it's too early!"
"Tell that to the baby!"
The broken water spread from the floor.
"But it's only been nine months!" Rarity exclaimed.
"that's the issue," Twilight said frantically. "We need to get her to the hospital."
Discord did not waste a second to teleport her out of there, leaving the eight ponies and dragon alone in silence.
...
"Guess we're walking."
The hospital staff was caught by surprise when Discord came barging into the emergency room, pushing Fluttershy on a stretcher.
"The baby's coming, the baby's coming!" he screamed frantically.
"What?" Dr. Stable uttered. "The baby's not due for another two months!"
"Well, it's impatient! It is my kid, after all!"
The doctor was quick and fast, leading the couple to the maternity ward. On the way, they passed by Derpy.
"Fluttershy!" she exclaimed. "I thought you weren't due for another two months!"
Fluttershy's breathing staggered. "So did I, but the baby had other plans!"
"Sweet! Our kids are going to have the same birthday!"
Derpy's stretcher steered away while Fluttershy's entered another room.
"I'll need to get an x-ray…" Dr. Stable said.
Discord summoned up the device and hung it over his wife's stomach. The doctor examined it with wide eyes.
"Yep, the foal's a preemie, but it's safe enough that we can deliver without harm to it. It will have to stay in the NICU until it's ready."
"Then what are we waiting for?" the draconequus demanded. "You're the doctor! Please help my wife!"
Dr. Stable called for Nurses Sweetheart and Coldheart. They put on their scrubs and masks and got the patient into position. Discord had summoned up a mask as well and tightly held his wife's hoof.
The five ponies, three fillies and dragon paced around the waiting room. They stiffened when they heard Fluttershy's scream.
"What are they doing to her?!" Pinkie Pie squealed.
"I'm sure she's fine," Twilight said calmly.
When Dr. Stable entered the room, the duchess jumped out of her seat.
"Is she still alive?!" she asked frantically.
The doctor laughed. "Fluttershy has successfully given birth to a healthy baby girl and is going to be fine."
Every pony gasped.
"A girl?" Pinkie repeated. "This is fantastic!"
"Wait," Rarity said. "What does it look like?"
Fluttershy sobbed into her husband's chest.
"She's okay my queen, just small. She's okay."
"I only got to hold her for a second..."
Discord needed to distract her, keep her mind off of her filly in the NICU.
Discord scratched his head. "She looks so…normal."
The infant was an earth pony with a pink coat and bounding curls of purple and white hair on her head.
"Isn't that what you wanted?" Fluttershy sniffled. "You said you didn't want our child to be judged by her looks like you were."
"Yeah, but…how will people know she's ours?"
The pegasus lay in thought. "I don't think it matters dear, she's ours, and..."
Discord held her hoof. "If we're loud enough with our pride, ponies will know."
Fluttershy chuckled. "Y'know, I've got an earth pony grandma on my Dad's side. I guess the genes just skipped mine and my dad's generations."
Weeks later, NICU visiting hours.
"It's mine alright!" He bent down and tickled the infant. Her eyes were bright spirals with no pupils. "Cootchie-cootchie-coo!" The baby let out a laugh as she attempted to squirm away from the delightful torture. "Aw, look at her! Isn't she just an adorable little screwball?" His face lit up. "That's it! We'll call her Screwball!... If you want to, that is."
Fluttershy smiled as she caressed her baby through the glass. "Of course, it's perfect."
"Nah, but that's why it's good."
"Which one is it?!" Pinkie demanded, eagerly pressing her face against the window of the nursery.
"The one in the middle," Nurse Sweetheart said, pointing.
The ponies turned their attention to the pink foal sucking on her hoof.
"she's…" Rainbow speculated, "…normal."
Screwball then opened her swirly eyes.
"Never mind."
Every pony jumped as Discord appeared behind them. "I know, isn't she precious? We named her Screwball!"
"How lovely," Rarity cooed.
"Aw, she's so cute!" Pinkie squeaked.
"We had another that day. Nurse Sweetheart explained, "from a Miz Muffins. Maybe you know her?"
"You mean Derpy?" Rainbow asked. She mumbled, "no one calls her muffins, dude."
The nurse pointed to the cradle beside Screwball's. Lying inside was a gray unicorn with blonde hair. Her eyes were looking in opposite directions.
"That's Derpy's alright," the pegasus confirmed. "What's its name?"
"She called her Dinky," the nurse replied. "Dinky Doo."
Screwball stared in wonder at the large ponies looking at her. She thought they were quite funny, especially the pink one. She then imagined what it would be like to tug on that beautiful poofy hair.
She turned her head as the baby in the crib next to her started crying. She could tell this pony was different from the others because of her eyes, and seemed drawn to her. She wanted her to stop crying and a pacifier suddenly appeared in the unicorn's mouth. The ponies saw this and gasped.
"Celestia save her." Discord said in awe. "Oh, oh not now. Not with the magic..." He grimaced. She was like him, with the problems he would have had at her age.
"A baby with Discord's powers?" Spike uttered.
Twilight shook with anxiety. Or was it excitement at the prospect of a pony with chaotic magic? In any case, she whispered:
"oh boy."
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pwnyta · 2 months
Note
tell me about lost in general bc i watched it vaguely as it was releasing but i was. a child. and never rewatched it and i love learning abt media secondhand through ppl who are rlly into it bc i always learn things in variable order or with immense biases. :)c
THATS SO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY!!! THERES SO TO EXPLAIN!!!
Well obviously.... LOST is about a bunch of survivors of a plane that crashed on a mysterious spooky island and happenings HAPPEN & shenanigans ensue but the story is so twisty turny there is no way I could possibly explain...
BUT I WILL TALK ABOUT MY BLORBOS!!!
FROM MY SHOW!!!
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We'll get these three dumbasses outta the way. In order-
Jack. Hes a doctor and the main guy of the series.
Kate. Shes a criminal. The main girl of the series
Sawyer. Hes way better then the other two also a criminal the rival love interest for Kate.. hes gruff. Hes smarmy. he makes insensitive jokes about people. He gets a way more interesting story than the other two. Hes like Daryl Dixon from TWD except actually hot and not stupid as hell. Theyre basically the same guy.
The tension between these 3 fuckin idiots is SO played out. None of this is Kates fault but her character is made significantly worse when this love triangle turned love... square when Juliet gets added later. Jack gets with both Kate and Juliet at some point and theyre both way more interesting with basically anyone else. Including Sawyer!!!
This is all Jacks fault. As per usual.
Jacks claim to fame- Being wrong... all the god damn time. So much that he does is just not correct. Except being nice to Sayid. That is always correct.
Kates Claim to fame- Bein bogged down by fuckin love interests and being an immediately better character when not around them. Especially when shes with Claire.
Sawyers Claim to fame- Bein a redneck guy.
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Sun and Jin. Sun is the daughter of some shady business man and Jin, because he loves Sun, ends up working for her father and their life kinda spirals for a bit NGL but they get SOOOO much better.
MY BABIES.... DO NOT SEPARATE THEM.
Sun and Jin are so fucking good its actually crazy. Initially Jin was gonna just get killed off for bein a bastard but (presumably) the writers were like 'Are we really gonna waste DANIEL DAE KIM like that? Are we being so for real? Have you seen him???' And they changed their minds and Sun and Jin are both so precious and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I DONT WANNA SPOIL THINGS BUT I LOVE THEM. Theyre hands scene.... I WILL CRY FOREVER.
Suns Claim to fame- Crackin Ben in the dome cuz she REASONABLY didnt believe him! Jack could never.
Jins Claim to fame- Being found in the woods occasionally by world weary friends and instantly making theyre day better.
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Walt and Michael...
I think what happened here is Walt grew too quickly for the show and he just sorta got let go... which left Michael with NOT MUCH ELSE TO DO.
BUT THE WRITERS DID THIS MAN SO FUCKING DIRTY ITS INSANE. The fandom too! Walt gets kidnapped by some dudes AT GUN POINT. AT SEA!!! AND NO ONE FUCKING CARED... EXCEPT MICHAEL. But people got REAL MAD at Michael for everything he did after in desperation to get his son back. MICHAEL DID NOTHING WRONG(except for all the wrongs he did but we forgive him.)
Michaels relationship with Sun & Jin was great. First there was a thing with Sun and Jin... and then Sun with Michael... and then Jin and Michael (A wild and adorable friendship holy shit)...
Anyways Michael deserved better KEEP MY WIFES NAME OUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH. Wasting Harold Perrineau... Imma watch OZ instead THATLL SHOW YOU.
Walts Claim to fame- Bein a lil cutie pie of like 5 minutes & then getting kicked off the show for growing like 12 feet an hour (speculation)
Michaels Claim to fame- Ruining Hurleys date & becoming Sun and Jins boyfriend.
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Charlie and Claire! Charlie is drug addict member of the band DRIVE SHAFT! Claire is a pregnant lady whos secretly something to someone else but we wont get into it.
They are sometimes cute sometimes cursed Claire deserves better and NOT PENNYS BOAT STILL MAKES ME CRY. GOOD BYE.
Charlies Claim to Fame- Putting his hand on glass and devastating a community of innocent fans.
Claires Claim to Fame- Taking care of 'Aaron' IYKYK
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Sayid has such a cursed life... if anyone has watched VLD... its worse than what they did to Shiro. People he loves keeps dying, hes forced to kill people, every time he gets hurt he looks up with his big sad brown eyes and says he deserves it. he tries so hard to be a good man... WHY DO THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO HIM.
Claim to fame- His big sad brown eyes and his luscious curls... and that time he snapped a mans neck with his ankles after he was tied up and beaten and held at gun point... As one does.
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And then theres THIS fuckin freak... JOHN LOCKE.
His dad stole his kidney and threw him out a window paralyzing him from the waist down and he acts completely normal because of that throughout the rest of the show. (HES PHENOMENAL.)
Claim to fame- DONT EVER TELL ME WHAT I CANT DO!!!!!
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Then theres HUGO. BEST BOY!!!! Hes basically the only normal person on this entire island. Sometimes bad things happen to him THROUGH NO FAULT OF HIS OWN OH MY GOD PLEASE BE NICE TO HIM.
Claim to fame- HURLEY HUGS!!!! GOLLY HE HUGS SO MANY PEOPLE AND THEYRE ALL HAPPY ABOUT IT!!! EVEN MILES! And Miles could find a way to complain about ANYTHING.
-----
Those are like the MAIN GUYS.
WHO THE HELL IS NIKKI!? We just dont know.
But have some important other guys~
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DESMOND AND PENNY....
(me blubbering and bawling)
Claim to fame- (I just continue pointing and crying) CHARLIEEEE
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BEN LINUS!!!
I know I called John a freak but heres John bigger freak of a boyfriend/tormentor/tormentee... This mans name is Been Lyin' basically and he'll lie about anything anywhere at anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea! AND PEOPLE JUST KEEP BELIEVING HIM. So at some point you just go... 'well they kinda deserve it.'
Michael Emersons performance as Ben Linus was so fuckin good they kept him on for the rest of the series even tho he was definitely not supposed to be there that long. IT WAS THE BEST DECISION. BEN IS SO GOOD(as a character in LOST hes a bastard otherwise.)
Claim to fame- Gettin his ass beat constantly. In a funny way. Sayid also gets bullied a lot but Sayid doesnt deserve it. BEN DOES. ITS FUNNY EVERY TIME.
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Rousseau is a crazy French woman who lives in the woods. She does torture Sayid a little and a lesser woman would be incinerated for that action alone....... but I love Rousseau.
Claim to fame- Taking any opportunity to beat the shit outta Ben. Good for her.
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Abaddon! Hes not an important character really at all... THEY DIDNT DO ANYTHING WITH LANCE REDDICK!?!?!? THEY JUST KILLED HIM!?!? FOR WHAT REASON DO YOU HIRE LANCE REDDICK AND DO NOTHING WITH HIS CHARACTER!?
Claim to Fame- BEING PLAYED BY LANCE REDDICK!!!!!!!
There are a bunch of other characters... ones that I love... like Frank and Miles and Mr Eko and Nikki and Paulo(who the hell are Nikki and Paulo!?) and Rose and Bernard and Boone and Shannon but I'll leave you with one last character.
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VINCENT!!!!!! SUCH A GOOD BOY!!!
Claim to Fame- Making sure a certain someone does not die alone cuz they lived together.
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I just wanna talk about LOST with you Just wanna kinda get LOST in you ya~ Was thinking maybe I could watch LOST with you cuz im already~ LOST IN YOU~
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aquilamage · 3 months
Note
ace attorney character options for the bingo - kay, seb/eustace, klavier, justine/verity, byrne, and badd :D
already did one for the son boy
Kay:
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The Girl Ever. my favorite character from the series. such a goofball a nuisance (complimentary) and a cutie pie
Byrne:
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to me, everyone is allowed one minor/dead male character in aa you're allowed to be disproportionately obsessed with. and hoo boy is he mine of that. he's so fucking weird adn my favorite dad.
Badd:
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I know I've made this joke before but *slaps roof of the him* this bad boy can fit so much unhealthy grieving in him. really hoping the official translation gets me inspired again so I can work on the aai2 with him in it au again
Justine/Verity:
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There's nothing that exactly fits "I think she's a great character and I love how she's written but I don't usually feel much of a creative urge about her" but that too. She's up there in the Hot Lady characters (not that the games have many adult women proportionally, but that's not what this is about), but I only gave a half for the "solid design" square because I don't like how they did her boobs in the sprites.
Also she's definitely my favorite out of the announced new names so far.
Klavier:
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The "canon" in "canon isn't real" is aa5/6 ignoring and mauling his story :(
Anyway I love his personality in general but especially how petty and cranky he gets in Serenade :3. And of course thinkin about Same School with Sebbie
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kindheart525 · 9 months
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There was a cave on the rock farm playfully dubbed the “Crying Cave” by the sisters when they were young, a nickname which ended up sticking well into their adulthoods. It was a place where any of the Pies could go, in moments of strife, to cry, scream in anger, or simply think. The crystals were like friends to listen to your problems; they would always be there.
Limestone Pie had avoided lingering here after her father passed, only entering its secluded walls to mine whatever resources she needed and then leave. Even when her other family members took their time in there to mourn, she didn’t need to. Or she just…didn’t have the time for it.
But it was exactly where she knew she’d find her son, who had a lot to think about as of late. And now…so did she.
“Mountain Peak!”
The mare called out in her usual harsh tone, but then attempted to soften her voice.
“You in here?”
“Agh! I mean, yep! I’m here!”
Mounty appeared over a wall of crystals, his eyes widened in surprise. Lime couldn’t quite tell if he flew up there or jumped out of fear.
The colt’s expression shifted to vague disappointment once he saw who it was. He landed on the other side of the wall, now looking guilty.
“I wasn’t gonna be in here for long, I promise! Pinkie Promise! I’ll get back ta work now, what did ya want me to do?”
“Sit down.”
Limestone ordered with the same authority as her own mother, though not as gently. 
“Uh…please. I want to talk. We’ll work later.”
It was like Holder’s Bolder had cracked open in broad daylight. Limestone Pie remembering to say please and thank you!? Postponing work for even a minute!? He jested to himself…but she wanted to talk to him? Honest to Gaia? 
At this point Mounty had almost resigned himself to never having a real conversation with her, but maybe Ma AJ had gotten through to her after all.
“What’s goin’ on?”
He asked, though both of them knew the answer.
Limestone stood in silence for a moment, moving her mouth like she was about to say something but then stopping to reconsider. She wasn’t so good with feelings.
“I…uh…”
Limestone cleared her throat, deciding she wasn’t going to dance around this and drag it out more than she needed to. The colt could handle a straightforward explanation.
“Your Ma talked to me today, while we were out running errands. About how you’ve been behaving and how you’re feeling. You talked to her, right?”
“Yes?”
What are you gettin’ at here?
Mounty was confused as he wondered if he was in for a scolding or a real conversation.
“I know it’s been hard for you since your grandpa, ahem, passed on. And if your Ma’s right, I guess I’ve made it worse. A lot worse.”
A new pang of guilt shot through her as she said this, thinking of how she’d treated him. 
Mounty, the unabashedly good-natured colt he was, opened his mouth like he was about to stop her, say, no, you didn’t, it’s okay. But that would have been a lie.
“Taking apart that machine you built is probably the worst thing.”
Limestone started going through the list in her head of things to apologize for,  one by one, without fooling around.
“You didn’t take time off from work to build that thing. It even got you your cutie mark. It showed a lot of craftponyship and planning, and you should be proud. Even though I didn’t agree with the purpose, I shouldn’t have gotten all pissed off like that. I wouldn’t like it if somepony destroyed my hard days’ work like that.”
“It ain’t about the slide.”
Mounty frowned.
“I could build a new one o’ those no problem. It’s all those nasty things you said, ‘bout how I wasn’t doin’ anythin’ useful with mah cutie mark. An’ how I was disrespectin’ not only Grandpa but the whole family. Don’t you remember? That hurt somethin’ awful.”
“Yeah…”
Limestone cringed at herself, not just for what she said but how she was trying to talk her way around these more deeply-cutting actions of hers.
“That was bad, even for me. And it isn’t even true. Look—“
She sat up straighter to look him squarely in the eye.
“It took me a long time to realize this but I was wrong. About a lot of things. Like what your Grandpa would have wanted. If your Grandma and Great Aunt Morganite know anything, it’s that he would have liked that slide of yours. And…I’m sorry I tried making you think otherwise.”
Apologizing was extremely hard for Limestone, so she broke her gaze and turned away, hardly wanting to look at the colt she’d wronged.
“Thank you.”
Mounty said.
“An’ even though I had my doubts sometimes, I reckon I always knew he woulda liked it. Y’see, the Hearth’s Warmin’ before he passed, Grandpa an’ I had a bit of time together, and we talked a bit. He said I had a mighty important role ta fill on the farm, that I’d help it flourish an’ be an asset the the family.”
“Did he?”
Limestone uttered.
“Yeah. I reckon I took that ta heart, tryin’ ta fill that role an’ make him proud ever since. Even when uh…some ponies said I wasn’t doin’ it right.”
Mounty didn’t want to be confrontational and say that it was really only Limestone who said this, but she knew what he meant.
“Damn. I spent this whole time trying to make him proud too. When all I’ve really been…”
Her voice choked up.
“Is an insult to his memory.”
She slammed her hat down on the ground, throwing it almost like it was something foreign, something that didn’t belong to her.
“He…I talked to him too. Did you know that? He told me to take care of our family and protect what we stand for. And…and I did anything but that!”
Mounty wasn’t sure what she was doing at first, with her face concealed behind the smooth silver curtain of her mane. Perhaps scolding herself in the anger that was typical of her. But no…she was crying.
This was a long time coming, yet it was so unusual that he didn’t know what to do. He’d never seen his Mom even shed a tear before now. After a few moments of letting her sit there and let it out, he whispered,
“You really do miss yer Pa, don’t you?”
“He…he taught me everything I know.”
Limestone sniffled, wiping her eyes.
“At least, he tried to. I don’t know how much I learned. I wish he were still here, to teach me all this again. I’d actually listen this time. I swear to Gaia.”
She turned to look at her son.
“Maybe then I’d figure out how to actually support my foals so they don’t keep having to run off to this stupid Crying Cave.”
“Well…there ain’t nopony sayin’ ya can’t start now.”
Mounty tried to reassure her.
“I’m sure he’ll be proud seein’ ya try. I’m sure he did appreciate you always thinkin’ of him even if you…didn’t always get it right.”
He smiled.
“But we’re both in this cave now. I reckon we both need it?”
Normally Lime would have scolded him about talking back to her, for suggesting she wasn’t doing her job right. For a split second she did think of it, but he was right. She had just admitted it herself. She had a lot of work to do.
And she had to be the adult and be there for him.
“I’ll try to figure it out myself, but don’t be scared to tell me when there’s a better way to do things if I don’t get it. Even if I’m all rocky and jagged about it.”
She chuckled at the pun.
“You’ll have to be able to take charge if you’re going to run this farm one day.”
Mounty gasped.
“Really? Me?”
“If Grandpa wills it, it will be so.”
She affirmed.
“Give me that.”
She gestured towards his bow tie, which he took off after a brief look of questioning.
And to his surprise, the mare who wouldn’t dare alter her father’s belongings tied the pink ribbon around his hat for a whole new look.
“Your Grandpa would be so proud of you, Mounty. You have all the creativity and care I now know was always in him. He was right, you’re one of the best things to ever happen to this farm and this family.”
At this point she was crying again and so was Mounty, with happiness this time. They could both feel their love for their respective Pa and Grandpa reflected in each other, more strongly than ever.
Mounty moved in for a hug, one that was much needed, with his wings and forelegs wrapped fully around his mother who finally returned the gesture.
After a good long moment, Limestone’s quivering lips turned up into a playful smirk.
“Now…what do you say we go rebuild that slide?”
She pushed the hat down on his head, prompting a fit of laughter.
“Haha! You think we can do it as good?”
“We might even make it better. Just lead the way, farmer.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Previous: High Quality Crystal
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enbyleighlines · 10 months
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Leigh plays Tellius prt 3
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It's time to fight the crows!
This map took me several tries, which was super annoying. The rules of where the crows can and can't attack are confusing, and every time I thought I had it figured out, I wound up putting someone vulnerable in danger. (Usually Mist. Sorry, Mist.)
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I finally used this square strategy where I just put all my characters in a square, so that the crows could only attack someone in one of the four corners. Also, I love that Ike says this. I'm sad we don't get to see Ike have a similar conversation with Soren— surely the two of them discussed that incident at some point, right? Or did Ike just trust Soren enough not to say that slur again?
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I watched this scene very carefully, because I know that at some point Soren supposedly leaves. However, you can see his sprite in this cutscene, watching over Ike as he interacts with the dragon laguz. I was interested to see if there was a certain point when his sprite disappeared.
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It's Kurthnaga! Such a cutie pie. I'm glad he has a bigger part to play in the sequel.
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I love Ike and Mist's sibling dynamic. They have such fun teasing one another. And I love how Ike's expression changes to this unamused glower whenever Mist teases him.
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Ike moved, showing that Soren is yet again standing in the same spot. I wonder if this was unintentional on the writer's part, but I do like to think that Soren, despite being terrified by the dragon laguz, made sure to stick around long enough to see Ike return safely to the boat.
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And here it is! The beginning of Ike questioning everyone about Soren's whereabouts, inviting the player to unlock all of Ike and Soren's supports. I adore how often Ike brings up Soren in conversations that didn't have anything to do with him. I think I will keep a counter.
Now for some supports!
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Kieran, my dear, you were so heartbroken by Oscar's absence... even if it took him a long time to finally notice that Oscar had disappeared. What Kieran lacks in brains, he makes up for in heart.
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Mia is so damn funny. I love her character. She's just so high-spirited and passionate about her 1 interest. She's like if Don Quixote was a genki anime girl.
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Tanith!!! She has such strong yuri vibes. I mean, look at that haircut, and that unimpressed demeanor. In a GL, she is absolutely the type that seems all cool and put-together on the outside, but who becomes an illogical mess around her crush. (Which in this case, is Sigrun.)
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I always laugh out loud at this line. I love that, for all that Ike and Soren love and trust each other, they are not above roasting one another. It's an important aspect of their dynamic.
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Elincia you absolute Cutie Patootie.
Anyway, this post is getting long. Stay tuned for part 4, where I play the map that gave me the most trouble thus far.
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bratzforchris · 4 months
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went to cutie pie island and they had a statue of you in the town square?!
YOU'RE SUCH A SWEETHEART
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