#cw ED mention

[shortkingchilchuck]

"Chilchuck doesn't have an eating disorder, he's just harming his body thru the way he eats because he thinks achieving a particular goal is more important than his health!" My brother in Christ what do you think an eating disorder is

[collaredkittyboy]

Well it's come up multiple times today so I'll make a post about it.

I think the popularization of the word "twink" has ultimately been really bad for people in general.

I know it's hard to track the positive and negative effects of language but I don't think it's hard to see how creating a word for a group of people wherein the most consistent qualifying trait is "being skinny" is healthy for people's self image. Obviously people have lots of ideas about what it means to be a twink- gay, lacking body hair, feminine, beautiful, young, white- but the most consistent descriptor I've seen is "skinny." Hell, it's even a body type on Grindr; the size below "average."

So it kind of functions as a code word in the gay community: anyone can say that they're only interested in twinks and they don't have to look shallow by saying they only like skinny guys. It's such an accepted attitude that no one really bats an eye when they hear it.

I'm not even going to get into how it's become part of the larger issue of people turning "top" and "bottom" into gender roles 2.0, but that is closely related, because people with any internalized homophobia can look at a skinny, feminine man and turn off their fag alarms by viewing him as a woman or not a "real" man, and it makes twinks more acceptable to society at large.

No, ignoring all of that, one of the biggest issues is that gay men are taught by society that they are only attractive while they are skinny. Just having the label "twink" reminds a boy that people are looking at his body and judging it. There were countless times when I was growing up that people would tell me, "You're such a twink," or argue about whether or not I qualified as a twink because I had body hair. People around you, unpromted, judge your body and give you a label based on it, and that label has a large influence on whether or not you're seen as objectively attractive. I know many other gay people who say they wish they were a twink so they could be more attractive to guys.

So think, you have all these kids growing up being told whether or not they qualify as a twink, and then we have the gay community as a whole where it's completely acceptable to say you're only attracted to twinks. I think its because of all of this pressure to be a twink (in other words, to have a below average weight) that many of the gay people that I interact with struggle with a negative body image or eating disorders.

I mean, people talk about "twink death" like it's an actual event that makes a gay man much less attractive, and no one thinks that, maybe, it's harmful to tell a guy that the very day he stops being young and thin and pretty, he will stop being attractive and celebrated?

I'm not qualified to speak on fatphobia in physical queer spaces because I don't have the ability to frequent them where I live, but I can't imagine that these aren't issues at social gatherings as well. I also can't speak on my own experiences with weight discrimination because so far in my life I have had a naturally thin body, but I have experienced a lot of outside pressure to be thin that have caused me to pick up unhealthy eating habits to reduce my weight in fear that I could become fat later on. Thankfully that is something that I've mostly been able to work past. I'm not an expert, but idk, I just wanted to rant on my silly tumblr blog.

Obviously it's impossible for a word to be inherently bad. I'm not trying to imply that saying "twink" is a magic word with evil powers. Obviously the real issues at play here are fatphobia and harmful beauty standards and body shaming. But in my opinion, the popular use of the word twink has made it much easier and acceptable to express fatphobia, etc, in the gay community by turning "skinny person" into a "type of guy that you should try to be so you can be attractive."

[bingeblogging]

my random homemade meals found in my camera roll so I can remember them later ☺️

[thesewingmachine]

whumpee feeling self conscious throughout their eating disorder recovery due to weight gain and their caretaker comforting them.

[chilpilled]

kui was so insane for giving laios eternal hunger and chil an eating disorder. like if u wanted me to be sane about these guys u wouldnt have done that

[kemafili]

In all seriousness, I have been a dungeon meshi fan since the beginning of 2020, I honestly wish I had listened to my friend when she told me to read it sooner lol, but ever since then this manga has meant the world to me, it’s a very sweet and endearing experience, besides its incredible world building, it’s just a work with a lot of charm and personality, i had a horrible ED when I started reading it and while experiencing it, i started to see food on a light manner, it meant something special to me rather than a guilt, many of other things have I felt during its run but I can say that it’s something to cherish and to appreciate for what it is. Coming to an end is just the beginning of carrying its message of living and enjoying the most of it, i hope more people come to experience and give this work a chance, im sad to see it go but I’m glad to know it exists.

[thatturtleleon]

Raf (TFP) Headcanons

Quick note: This is a collab with my lovely moot @lonely-paracosmos!

Onto the headcanons:

Transmasc Raf !!

He felt vry isolated until he met Miko and Jack, who were ofc super accepting

Same with the other bots

"You're a boy? Cool!"

They don't mind one bit, hell, they're literally TRANSformers

Aro/ace spec (lowkey both of us projecting) and gay (didn't realize it until later on though, probably during his highschool or college years)

Collects sci-fi comic books! Bonus points if they're about aliens!

One of his favorite movies of all times is Cars

Stims by flapping his hands :)

He'll sit with Bee and ramble about whatever comic book he's reading, Bee loves it because the pages are too tiny for him to read

Has ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder) and is extremely selective with food

Autistic (basically canon ngl)

His special interests are technology and cars!

^^ and adding onto that, Raf loves to learn about cybertronian technology, stories, the language, etc.

He asks all the bots all sorts of questions, Ratchet was a little annoyed at first (when he first met Raf) but he grew to appreciate Raf's curiosity of their culture and tech

Loves to chew on shit randomly

Had a meltdown when they moved bases, the stress and change were too much (feel u Raf)

Miko made little keychains that matched everyones guardians (motorcycle keychain for Jack, yellow and black sports car for Raf, etc.)

Raf always has it with him, even when Bee has to leave at the end of the show :(

They (including all the humans too) check in with each other over video calls very often, chatting away about their lives and such

Raf makes sure to check in with Ratchet too, and Ratchet appreciates that

Definitely becomes an expert computer scientist and works with Agent Fowler a lot

He keeps in touch with Jack and Miko through his job too, personally I hc that Miko becomes a pilot of somesort and Jack has a job similar to Agent Fowlers

Still waiting for his damn snowball from Optimus to this day.

[nekohrine]

vampires are just bitches with extremely extreme avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder who are Too Tired of people telling them just to eat normal food

[narutodivorcearcreal]

more fem fight club thoughts. word of warning i am insane and crazy

- Unlike narrator who would hate it a lot if he got castrated i think a hysterectomy would appeal to fem narrator (doesnt think it would change a lot (Not True) and severe pregnancy phobia) However she wouldn’t actually go through with the surgery because A. she doesnt do anything unless pushed to by an outside force (inertia) and B.

- Penetration Anxiety!!!!! applies to surgery, bullet, PIV sex, literally anything. aversion so strong it extends to Tyler subconsciously. Imo her aversion to penetration is stronger than her wanting to be straight. she would maybe be okay with a bit of cheek hole action though.

- Tyler and marlon dont fuck. because of reasons stated above and to be completely honest because i think it would be gross. but not the fun gross.

- When marlon is ODing on xanax Tyler just burns him with cigarettes and hits him all night until he stops. this makes marlon imprint on her like a baby duck.

- Marlon has hiv :( so probably good he and tyler dont do it

- when fem narrator kills herself she slits her wrists instead of shooting herself because. penetration anxiety!!

- i dont think marlon has a good enough relationship w his parents to be sent bags of liposuctioned fat so unfortunately they just have to go to a medical waste center the first time :((

- marlons the type to say “im gonna kill myself when i turn 30” but he actually tried to follow through with a quarter bottle of xanax and a razor. somehow he survives hooray !!

- Tyler has a veritable fight club harem (ego reasons). narrator is very confused when random space monkeys come up to her to hang off her arms.

- fem narrator’s ikea is kitchenware. she has 8 dutch ovens and still eats spoonfuls of horseradish for dinner.

- she had one of those lowkey eating disorders before tyler fully gestated. she was forced to stop not because tyler cared about her mental well-being but because tyler wanted to get Jacked. Now she eats plain chicken breast and spinach every single day.

- the worst possible ending for narrator would be the premise of fight club 2 (married to marlon and has a kid)

- most controversial marlon to me is bald!! not like mr clean but like Eminem… i need to show off his slightly receding hairline and widows peak… also if he has hair he looks too good he need to look like a golf ball balanced on a bundle of sticks (faggot)

[nailgunstigmata]

obsessed with the twins reactions towards insulting each other….dee barely registers it while dennis stops eating for days. dennis needs affirmation like oxygen and crumbles at criticism while dee is used to having everything about her picked apart while still looking for that affirmation she never had. what im trying to say is that dee would be fine without dennis and probably even better off but dennis would crumble without having her there as his cushion. because all he knows is being compared to her and coming out on top. because hes the golden boy and shes the one barbara sees everything reflected in she hates so much. dee cant succeed in one little thing or its a personal failure for dennis because he was always supposed to be the better one. she cant have acting and she cant have bowling. dennis was told hes better so often that when that reality is threatened he lashes out. dee cant have one thing, not one. because then dennis isnt the better one across the board anymore and maybe resentment for his sister is the only memory of his mother he still has left

[shortkingchilchuck]

Chilchuck is NOT a twink!!! Way too old for that. He's a divorced dilf with an eating disorder. Get it right

[neurosky]

I had a small win over ARFID and OCD today!!

So, a little backstory for this to make sense, ARFID causes me to be extremely picky with foods out of fear of throwing up, to the point where I eat the same things every day, and have been my whole life. My OCD makes me worry about throwing up as well, but that makes me do or avoid certain things in order to not throw up.

I really wanted caesar salad earlier, and the only salad kit we had had a "guaranteed fresh" date for about a week ago. Usually, I just wouldn't eat it, but this time I decided that I really wanted this salad, and the lettuce still looked fine. So, I pushed past the thoughts of "What if I throw up? What if it's bad?" and I ate it anyway! And it was a really fucking good salad!!

[idiotsofoz]

gerard way gives me so much hope for myself . knowing how bad mentally they were their entire life and the addiction and body dysmorphia and eating disorder and gender presentation issues he struggled with and seeing now how they're comfortable presenting how they want and they've gotten better and it makes me just realize . hey maybe it does get better. maybe things will be okay. maybe one day i'll be who i want to be and i'll finally be okay

[its-the-ratdawg]

for the longest time i had absolutely zero clue i was trans but looking back some of the most oddly specific signs include

dressing like/imitating/wanting to be like male characters of movies/tv shows instead of the women like all my friends (especially if a female friend i had a crush on really related to his love interest or had a crush on him)

wanting to be compared to male characters from movies/tv shows instead of women, it was more flattering to me and i had no idea why

the time i got a bad haircut and i said that id look like a man with no makeup on and then i was flattered when my sister did not contradict me

feeling defensive and hurt when people around me (frequently) acted transphobic (i genuinely completely had no idea why it hurt so bad)

an unhealthy relationship with food. i didn't actually want to be super skinny, at all, but starving myself was a way to at least control and change my body (i was not deterred when people told me i would starve off my tits and all my curves)

similarly, acting ultra feminine. the whole dark coquette, short skirts, pink everything, ribbons in my hair, feminine rage, Lana Del Rey (still love her) nine yards. little did i know the feminine rage was a result of not being a female

wanting to change my name and appearance frequently. not necessarily to more masculine traits, but i always felt a little peace after changing myself in some way, even if that peace didnt last

using a deeper voice when i was with close friends or in a comfortable environment and felt more confident. i just really enjoyed hearing myself sound like that

i liked women, but i didn't feel like a lesbian. in fact i hated that label for a long time, and i thought it was just because i didn't identify with or like the lesbian stereotypes i'd been exposed to during my conservative upbringing.

i also liked men, but not in a girl way. ì thought it was just because the cishet men i knew all sucked. eventually i realized i wanted to like men in a boy way. like in an mlm way. (even after realizing this i never considered i was trans)

as a child if the teacher needed a "big, strong man" to carry some chairs or something i'd make a huge point of volunteering (not necessarily a trans thing but funny, plus i specifically enjoyed being grouped in with the boys like i was one of them so yeah a little bit trans)

feeling disgusting when logically i knew i looked beautiful

i wanted to take care of my little sister in an older brother way, not an older sister way. she compared us to rodrick and greg from Diary Of A Wimpy Kid many times and it always made me so happy

[bugflies00]

I continue to wonder since you said fostering au wilbur continues to be entirely in denial and Not Realizing for some time after he and quackity re-meet how exactly DOES the Feelings Realization TM go down qcihdtiwdzgd

OOOH well its very gradual and very much a disaster because. well. its him .

i think i said they remeet when theyre around 22-23, and at the time wilbur was in a really bad relationship that he only breaks off two or so years later. his girlfriend was very controlling and always bringing him down and making comments about him, his appearance, his interests, what he ate, etc. so needless to say wilburs already absolute dogshit self esteem is so further down the gutter it’s actually Wow look it pierced a hole into the ground from how far down it is.

this is important context because it’s part of why he takes soooo long to realise his feelings, he’s just so deeply entrenched in trying to make his girlfriend happy and love him and to appease everyone that he doesn’t realise. its what i call his “ghostbur” era - none of this stuff is actually strictly based on the bursonas, but i find he does follow a similar pattern of evolution, and at that point in his life he’s trying to be the biggest people pleaser possible after realising that being the unapproachable loner he was in high school would only leave him alone (also bc his abandonment issues got worse after sally left). his new relationship makes that worse also.

in the beginning him and q are just sort of awkwardly tiptoeing around each other considering they last left each other with a bajillion things unsaid and they are extremely determined on keeping said things unsaid. they start to grow back into friends, albeit more normal friends than the absolute mess of a situationship/frenemies they were in high school. theyre still themselves meaning they can’t go a second without aggravating each other, but its definitely friendlier.

and as time goes by some of their joke flirting gets a tad bit too real sometimes- quackity will make a joke and stare at him a moment too long, or wilbur will stutter out of nowhere, etc.

but wilbur still has a girlfriend!!! so as usual he shoves his head in the sand and he takes melatonin so at night he falls asleep instantly without having the time to yearn or reflect lmao. (for the record i do not condone this if your feelings change communicate that with your partner etc)

time progresses, every stranger they meet think theyre either married, sworn enemies, or fucking each other. meanwhile wilburs relationship grows worse and worse, he’s fallen deep into an eating disorder (while he was already struggling with bad eating habits pretty much his whole life it gets much worse then), hes struggling with self harm a lot, and its just not a great time. his friends keep trying to convince him to break things off, especially tommy who, since he lives with them, has seen a lot of shit and absolutely despises wilbur’s girlfriend’s guts and makes this very well known.

eventually they do break up (its a longer story than that but it would require its own post) and wilbur falls deep into a depressive episode. it makes him doubt for so long if he did the right thing, if he just should’ve sucked it up and taken whatever scraps of love he was given, but in reality the depressive episode had been a LONG time coming its just his brain was in survival mode. he never felt safe enough with her, so subconsciously his brain only allowed falling into depression again once it was safe to do so.

and so my point is that with all these things happening he’s absolutely nowhere near ready to accept his feelings. meanwhile q is pining hard - that man is going through it LMAO trying to support his friend (they still pretend to be frenemies) whilst shoving down his own shit. he’s one of the few people wilbur feels safe with (even though theyve gotten into fistfights and q has sincerely threatened his life on several occasions), mainly because, in a way, q knew him at his worst (high school) and still came back. so he has more trust in him than some of his other friends because hes convinced he’s manipulated them into thinking hes better than he is.

anyway q is planning this trip for an internship he’s doing for his law degree, and he has to leave for a month or two. wilburs 25th birthday rolls around, and he knows q wont be able to be there. he’s already still feeling shitty, not really entirely out of that depressive episode, and he’s ready to just have a lame birthday and go back to rotting in his bed.

and then (this is so cliché LET ME LIVE) theyre about to do the cake whatever and tommy yells announces they have a surprise and he turns around and wham! quackity standing there looking downright exhausted, with his suitcases around him and the airplane neck pillow still around his neck (he came straight from the airport). wilbur runs to hug him and, to me, that moment is the kickstarter that forces him to start actually realising whats happening.

first off because theyre not exactly huggers but that one was so spontaenous and it felt so right!! second because hes already sad and a bit emotionally volatile and the fact that q cared enough to rush and try his best to make it to his birthday moves him a whole lot. and finally because well yeah he’s madly in love with him but the only thing he says is to ask whether the eyebags q got from jetlag are a fashion statement in europe or if hes just reaching for the raccoon look.

theres definitely more moments after that (they take a LOOONG time to get together. and so much pining. its so bad) but i just think that moment is really sweet and also i love how their relationship progresses over time

[bysshe-shelley]

i could fix him (19th century Romantic poet lord george gordon byron)