#cycle of revenge clearly starting

[blackboar]

On this day: February 2th, 1461: the battle of Mortimer's Cross

The battle of Mortimer's Cross was fought at the end of winter and was rooted in Welsh politics. It was fought at the border between Wales and Herefordshire. On the one side, the new duke of York since the execution of his father a month ago: Edward Plantagenet. Edward was Earl of March before, a huge lordship in Wales and the Welsh Marches, commanding many retainers. Two of its most prominent retainers were there with him: William Herbert and Walter Deveureux.

William Herbert was an ambitious Welshman, and Walter Devereux was a prominent Hertfordshire knight, both dedicated to the House of York.

Facing them, the Lancastrian faction was led by Jasper and Owen Tudor. Jasper, as Earl of Pembroke and half-brother of the king, commanded great influence in southern Wales. His brother Edmund clashed with Devereux in 1456 as York tried to rise in influence in the region. James Butler was with them as Earl of Wiltshire and Ormond. The Butler family was powerful in Ireland and headed the Lancastrian faction in an unstable island where Yorkist influence was prominent. He fought with the Tudors. However, his marriages with the Beauchamp and Beaufort families gave him lands and interests in the Welsh Marches and the West Country, making him a powerful magnate outside of Ireland.

The stakes were high. Edward IV was the only adult Yorkist alive capable of championing the Lancastrians. More locally, Jasper and Owen had a grudge against Deveureux and Herbert, who waged war against their interest in 1456.

The Lancastrians were probably less numerous than the Yorkists, but their aggressive strategy gave them a shot at beating them.

Butler attempted an aggressive encirclement of the left flank, forcing Devereux to retreat. Meanwhile, Pembroke faced the duke of York. Owen's attempt at crushing Herbert and forcing an encirclement could have changed History, but it failed, and his 'battle' began to rout. Herbert's decisive hold allowed a Yorkist victory and the capture and execution of Owen Tudor.

This victory would mean much for the Yorkist. Everyone on the Yorkist side was eventually promoted. Deveureux and Herbert would become lord in 1461, just like Sir Humphrey Stafford, who fought with them. York would become king of England a few months later. The reverse was also true, as Jasper Tudor lost his earldom in favor of the Herberts (1469) and Butler lost his life a few months later and his family lost his earldom of Wiltshire with it. Jasper would regain his lands only after the battle of Bosworth twenty-four years later, in which Walter Deveureux, as lord Ferrers, would die fighting for Richard III.

Sun Dog in the Nuremberg Chronicle.

Edward IV would use the battle as a neat piece of propaganda. A parhelion was seen on the eve of the battle, and Edward IV would say those three suns represented the three surviving sons of York (Edward, George, and Richard). It would symbolize the dawn of a new dynasty for England, but the collision of the three stars would allow Tudor's sun to rise.

[sunderwight]

Bingqiu roleswap where disciple Shen Yuan knows he's gay, and figures out that he has a big huge crush on his handsome Shizun, but also concludes nearly at once that he's not going to be drawing Luo Binghe's eye any time soon. Firstly, Luo Binghe is notoriously straight. Secondly, even if he weren't, he wouldn't go for his scrawny untalented nerd of a disciple! Shen Yuan's not bad looking, not before or after transmigrating, but he's neither a beautiful nor a hot manly man, and he assumes if Luo Binghe were into dudes he'd be into the same kinds of twunks that Shen Yuan likes. Guys on his own level, etc etc.

Plus Luo Binghe hated the original disciple Shen, and only started to warm up to the transmigrated version after Shen Yuan got injured in front of him trying to stop the other disciples on the peak from killing a small animal. For some reason, Luo Binghe brought Shen Yuan medicine. He got even nicer after Shen Yuan distracted the skinner demon by trying to convince it to take his skin instead of Luo Binghe's, and then again when Shen Yuan successfully fought off a demon invader -- though initially when Luo Binghe volunteered him for that job, he thought it was an assassination attempt. His heart was in his throat when Luo Binghe nearly took a poisoned blow for him, but luckily he reacted more quickly and got hit by the thorns instead. His heavenly demon blood took care of the poison, and he managed to convince everyone that he narrowly avoided getting cut at all.

Shen Yuan's careful not to read anything into it when Luo Binghe finds out about his, erm, uncomfortable dormitory situation and moves him into the side room, or when he completely messes up trying to make dinner and Luo Binghe takes over cooking and bans him from the kitchen (he swears he's not actually that bad at cooking, he just never had to use a kitchen without a microwave or an electric hot plate before...)

After all, it's not like Luo Binghe is cooking for him, he's just making food he likes and letting Shen Yuan eat it too! Because he's nice! He's way nicer than the book gave him credit for being, see, clearly Shen Yuan was correct in signing up for his defense squad, "top ten worst villains of all time" his ass that poll was nonsense...

Unfortunately, though, the plot's still gotta plot. Shen Yuan is heartbroken when the Immortal Alliance Conference rolls around and his shizun stabs him and throws him down into the Endless Abyss. Heartbroken, but not surprised. After all, it was always going to go this way, wasn't it?

But at least, now that it's done, he has some agency in how he reacts to it. He's changed the story enough that he doesn't need to go get revenge. Maybe Luo Binghe's still the villain of his story, maybe that was inevitable, but some heroes let the villains get away. Don't they? It's all part of that noble, breaking the cycle of abuse type stuff. He can be that kind of hero. He can let it go. As long as he avoids Luo Binghe altogether, it should be fine, right? It's not like he's obligated to turn people into human sticks. He asked the system, he's definitely not!

Technically he's not even required to conquer the demon realms. He just has to get out of the Abyss and the be sufficiently cool and/or tragic. Conquest is just one means of doing that, and not even Shen Yuan's preferred, since he doesn't exactly want to rule over anybody. Going around the demon realms beating up some jackasses and rescuing some damsels in distress and becoming sworn brothers with Shang Qinghua, one of the current demon kings, is suitable. He definitely doesn't want to marry any of the damsels he encounters (thank fuck the system lets him off the hook for that!)

But eventually he has to go back to the human world. Not only is it mandated by the system, but he also misses living there. The demonic realms are in many ways better than expected, plus a lot of the monsters are really cool, but he misses the weather and plants and the people he's more accustomed to being around.

He misses Qing Jing Peak, if he's being honest with himself. Shizun's cooking and the bamboo forest and the crisp mountain breezes, the comforts of home.

Not that he can actually go back there in specific. Of course not. If he did that, Luo Binghe would try to kill him, or else the system would try and make him kill Luo Binghe. Bad ideas all around. No, he can't go back to Qing Jing Peak, but he can go find someplace nicer than the demon realms at least. He just has to keep a low profile, which shouldn't be hard since the original goods did that even while actively scheming to kill his former master!

Except.

Everywhere he goes, suddenly Luo Binghe is also there?!

Good thing Shen Yuan thought to take a page out of the book of Luo Binghe's actual love interest, Liu Mingyan, and start wearing a veil. He just didn't want any randos who might have seen him at the Immortal Alliance Conference or on any of the other missions his shizun sent him on to recognize him. But one minute he's investigating a strange case in Jinlan City, and the next the streets are full of Huan Hua cultivators (Shen Yuan has no intention of joining them, that's the path the original took to getting revenge! He doesn't want revenge!), and then Luo Binghe and Sect Leader MBJ and Peak Lord SHL show up, and SY is ducking down alleys and hiding behind columns, just trying to stay out of the way until the lockdown on Jinlan lifts and he can leave.

Except...

Luo Binghe really isn't acting like himself?

He looks like he hasn't been eating or sleeping well. There are dark circles around his eyes, and something almost melancholy in his countenance. And he's dressed entirely in white, none of the usual Qing Jing greens and blues anywhere to be seen. Of even greater concern, he's being reckless. Shen Yuan can't stop himself from rushing out when he sees his former shizun get infected by a sower demon.

Luckily, it's been some years since the last time they saw one another. Shen Yuan's gained a few inches in height, so he's almost at eye-level with his old master now, and though he's still more slender than bulky he's picked up some totally new styles from training the demon realms. He doesn't move the same way he used to. With that, plus the veil, it's enough for him to quickly swallow back his words as he grabs Luo Binghe and quickly administers a cure for the sower infection.

Well, he has one of course. He wouldn't need it himself, heavenly demon blood and all, but his time running around playing hero in the demon realms meant he rescued a lot of humans from such fates. Which is hard to do if you don't have a cure to their afflictions, but between him and Shang Qinghua, sourcing such things was almost easy.

Luo Binghe looks at him like he's just seen a ghost. The other Cang Qiong sect members are alarmed by SY suddenly accosting one of their own and of course find him suspicious, so he runs away right after, and then he has to lose Sha Hualing's pursuit in the city.

But what else could he do? He manages to evade the system's attempts to railroad him into meeting Gongyi Xiao, avoids the rest of the Cang Qiong crowd, and drops some of the cure through the current Qian Cao peak lord's window to get the incident sorted out. Then he flees and puts a good amount of distance between himself, Jinlan City, and every righteous sect he can think of.

The only problem is that after this point, Luo Binghe is everywhere.

Any time Shen Yuan stays in one place for longer than a few days, Qing Jing disciples start turning up. Any time he takes a job hunting some cool-sounding monster or pursuing some interesting tome of knowledge, the better to satisfy the system, it seems like Luo Binghe has selected and gone after the exact same target! Which is especially annoying because back when SY was a disciple, Luo Binghe was always assigning him to do this stuff. Since when does his chronic homebody master have an interesting in six-tailed scorpion lemurs or ancient spiritual kilns?

What's weirder, though, are the rumors.

It seems like any time SY stops at some well-populated place and asks for the latest gossip, he has to hear about how the Qing Jing peak lord lost his beloved disciple during the Immortal Alliance Conference, and mourned like a widow, and now wanders the earth in search of solace for his grief. Seeking something, possibly even the ghost of his dear disciple.

What nonsense! Luo Binghe threw SY into the Abyss himself. He had to do it, it was the plot! And also his obligation as a righteous cultivator, confronted with a "dangerous" half-demon. Does it sting? Yes it stings! That's why SY wouldn't just forget it! Despite logically knowing it's pointless, is there some part of him that wishes his master would have chosen differently? That thinks he should have known that no matter what kind of power Shen Yuan had, he would never use it to hurt people recklessly, or harm innocents, or especially not harm... well. It's pointless, his blood condemned him, and if there is some part of Luo Binghe which regrets what happened, it's doubtless just that he unwittingly harbored a monster for so long.

Which is fine and Shen Yuan would leave it at that, if the guy would just let him!

But no. Instead he has to deal with Luo Binghe turning up and asking him questions, trying to get him to talk (SY has no hope of disguising his voice, if he says anything he's not even sure it won't crack as he comes perilously close to tears instead, so he just stays silent), and then asking for his name, asking if he's mute, asking about his background, his sect, his kin. Is his a righteous cultivator? Where did he get that sword? (NOT Xin Mo, thanks, he used that thing once and then tossed it back into the Abyss before the portal finished closing behind him -- he knows a poisoned chalice when he sees one, although knowing the plot twist about that sword from the novel sure helped.) Where did he learn those forms? Is he... does he have a safe place to go home to? Someone to tend his injuries? Make sure he eats his meals?

SY, of course, stays silent. But it's difficult. Not only because Luo Binghe asks, but because he still looks... bad. Sunken, sorrowful, desperate almost. Shen Yuan can't figure out if he knows or not. Maybe he's unsure, maybe he's looking for SY to give him a sign, so that he can figure him out and then flip a switch and try to finish the job he started.

That can't happen. If they fight, SY will win, and he doesn't want to hurt Luo Binghe.

But even if Luo Binghe's not a heavenly demon, he is a highly accomplished cultivator, and it seems he's got his own breaking points to reach. Eventually he corners SY and gets a hand on his veil, and for a moment SY is sure he's going to rip it off, see his face, and confront him all "I knew it was you, you twisted evil demon, you won't escape justice a second time" and he feels a deep, icy terror close around his lungs--

Luo Binghe lets go of the veil before he can lift it.

But then something even worse happens. Because Shen Yuan's handsome, peerless, noble master breaks down. He falls to his knees, begging forgiveness, sobbing, clutching at his head like he's being driven to madness.

It all spills out of him, then. How he pushed his own dearest disciple into the Abyss, which obviously SY already knew, but also how he was apparently qi-deviating the whole time, and his senses could not differentiate between one kind of demonic "threat" and another. How he realized what he'd done only after he regained his senses hours later, and rushed back to the place where the tear to the Abyss had opened, but could not find a way in after the one he lost. How he had betrayed and thrown away the only person who cared about him, and couldn't even explain that he hadn't intended to. How he would accept anything, any punishment, hatred, penance, or revenge, if only he could see his disciple's face once more.

SY is stunned.

Apparently, Luo Binghe hadn't rejected him for his demon blood?

Not only that, but beforehand, he seemed to have valued Shen Yuan a lot more than Shen Yuan would have credited.

Is it a trick? Is he lying? SY would have guessed so, would have assumed that Luo Binghe's plan was to lull him into complacency only to turn on him once he finally had confirmation. But somehow, he just... doesn't think this is an insincere display. His old master is too cool for this stuff! He has too much dignity to just throw it away on a scheme! There are other ways to get what he wants.

Even if it is a lie, Shen Yuan is tired of running. He's the hero. He won't actually lose, and if it comes to it, it's still in his hands to decide if he wants to spare Luo Binghe or not (he does, of course he does, even if this whole spiel is an act). Plus he's got a backup plant body in one of Shang Qinghua's greenhouses if all goes to shit.

He takes the veil off himself.

Luo Binghe, teary-eyed, stares at him as if his face is the most beautiful he's ever seen.

Shen Yuan nearly puts the veil back on. His cheeks heat up. Dear Shizun, aren't you an immortal master? A noble peak lord? Isn't it your calling to vanquish demons? Get up off the dirty ground right this minute! Where did your dignity go? Shen Yuan did not spend all those nights doing the laundry to watch his teacher dirty his knees for no good reason!

There's a quaver in Luo Binghe's voice as he points out that Shen Yuan was terrible at doing laundry. Luo Binghe had to redo it the day after, all the time.

Shen Yuan chides at him that he should have made one of the other disciples do it then.

Luo Binghe just laughs, and stays on the ground, until finally Shen Yuan has to physically pull him up. Muttering about how he's being ridiculous, what's he crying for, why's he been moping so much, doesn't he know that handsome face should never look so bereft? Then he realizes what he's saying and shuts his mouth, but Luo Binghe just looks happy for the first time in years. Since the Abyss. How is it possible that SY, who actually had to slog through that awful place, can still smile more than Luo Binghe, who didn't?

They're standing so close. Holding on to one another. Almost as if... as if the scene's tone is... well...

Oh what the hell!

Shen Yuan closes the last little bit of distance between them, and kisses Luo Binghe.

[cloudabserk]

it’s so crazy how, all the way from haku in the very first arc to minato after pain arc (i would argue haku and minato are considered to be some of the most sympathetic and good characters by the narrative) , the common consensus is THE NINJA WAY IS FUCKED UP. haku says that if he is forced to kill innocent children (naruto and sasuke) for his master’s employer’s profit he will finally have embraced the ninja way. minato’s ghost says that despite the many improvements over the warring clans period, the ninja way is extremely broken and perverted by both greed (wars are started purely for profit destroying entire villages caught in the crossfire) and grief (infinite cycle of revenge etc) and needs drastic change.

and naruto understood this from day one it’s his literal catchphrase. he is consistently told by adults how the world works but he refuses to budge. “that’s my ninja way!” <- he’s literally stating he has his own ninja way separate from society. obviously kishimoto (and therefore naruto) ‘s mindset is very uhhh. moralist. but even he seems to clearly get that the military state working on behalf of profit is yknow. bad and needs immediate change

and then boruto smash cuts 15 years into the future and everyone is heterosexually married to people they hate and the political status quo is completely unchanged lmao

[animehideout]

LOVE IS THE MOST TWISTED CURSE OF THEM ALL

Part 9

Gojo Satoru x Fem! Reader

Part 10 here ✨🆕

Check out part 8 here if you missed it.

A/n: I'm back with another long chapter, grab a snack and a warm blanket and your headphones 🎧 . This story is ticking closer to its ending, i hope you enjoy this part as well 💖.

Your feedback is highly appreciated ✨🫶🏻.

Music suggestion ♪:

Dove Cameron - Boyfriend & The Weeknd - House Of Balloons.

W.c: 5.2k+ not proofread

Fuming with anger, his chest tightening. You and Nanami hadn’t notice him but he couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t bear to linger in your and Nanami’s presence a moment longer or he might not be able to control his shit. Hurriedly, he made his way through the dimly lit hallway to the bathroom, his steps heavy with frustration.

Once inside the bathroom, Gojo leaned over the sink, aggressively splashing cold water on his face attempting to repress the rising tide of his emotions. As the water flown on his face and chest, closing his eyes for the cold sensation to take him, your smile whenever you talked to your students, your laugh whenever Yuuji cracked a joke, the sparkle in your eyes whenever you explained new techniques and moves to your class, the hair strands falling on your face while you slept peacefully. But alongside those beautiful memories lingered the image of you and Nanami a few moments ago, your face inches away from each other as if you were gonna kiss, the way Nanami treated you with gentleness, with love and respect as if he’s your husband and not Gojo. A pang of envy ate him up from the inside. Also remembering how you and Nanami were so casually discussing how he had to kill his only bestfriend, it was too much to handle in only one night.

Clenching his fists, with a sudden burst of emotions, he slammed his hand against the wall, inches away from the mirror. The sharp sting of pain momentarily distracted him from his thoughts.

Alone, looking at his reflection in the mirror, struggling to make sense of the conflicting emotions that swirled within him.

“No it can’t be! I’m not jealous! I hate her…”

Longing, jealousy, deep-seated sense of inadequacy and emptiness. Being the strongest comes with a high cost; being lonely.

With a deep breath, after composing himself in the bathroom, Satoru splashed his face once more with water before turning to leave. As he exited, his mind still racing, he bumped into someone,

“Gojo? What a surprise!”

“Mei Mei?”

She stood before him with a sly, her eyes gleaming with mischief as she scanned his face. Trying her best to catch his attention with the lingerie she was wearing, seductively touching her neck.

“Couldn’t sleep Gojo?”

“Nah, just used the bathroom and now going back to my room”

“Why the rush? Fancy the change of scenery? I’m sure you’re sick of seeing Y/n beside you for the whole night?”

“Nah I’m good-” he replied coldly,

 he knew what she’s attempting to do, he’s aware of her feelings towards him but he clearly rejected them a long time ago but she doesn’t seem to get it, especially that it’s his fault to give her a chance to get close to him just to annoy Y/n. And now he regrets it.

But she was persistent, not planning to let go of him. As he walked pass her, she grabbed his arm and spoke,

“Come on Gojo, I thought we’re on the same team! Maybe I can distract you from what’s on your mind right now.. or Y/n is allowed to have fun with Nanami and you’re not ? let’s talk privately in my room, maybe I can help? We’re friends after all, aren’t we?” she smirked.

The thought of Y/n and Nanami together made his blood boil again, completely blinded by anger.

“Okay then, lead the way” he relented,

He knows that probably Nanami and his wife are not like what they seem, but his narcissism told him that he needs to take revenge. If his wife spends time with another man, he’ll spend time with another woman. Even though he’s the one who started this cycle in the first place. He knows its wrong, he can’t even stand Mei Mei, but for his own pride, he had to do it, even though you wouldn’t even see him with her but at least in front of himself. He wasn’t planning to do anything with Mei Mei, he was just there.

“Come in, so do you wanna drink something?”

“I’m good”

“Why do you keep pushing me away, I’m trying to help you know” she said taking off the part of the lingerie that was covering her shoulders. Now completely exposed, only in her laced silky lingerie as she took a seat on her bed.

Gojo sighed, knowing her intentions and the game she was playing. He was feeling extremely uncomfortable.

“You said you wanted to talk.. Go ahead”

“I see you’re rushing! Don’t tell me you already miss sleeping beside your wife, or let me guess! She’s not even there cuz she’s having a date with Nanami?”

“Mei Mei shut up” he said calmly.

“Why? Did it trigger you? Don’t tell me you caught feelings while she’s completely ignoring you for another man… I guess your plan to offend her didn’t work Gojo but rather made her happy to find Nanami”

“I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP” he yelled,

“NO I’M NOT GONNA SHUT UP, I’M NOT GONNA GIVE UP AND LET YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH HER”

“Do you hear yourself? What love are you talking about?”

“I know you have feeling s for Y/n Gojo! But as long as I’m in your life, I wouldn’t allow it to happen..” she paused crawling closer to him as he sat on the bed egde “You deserve someone like me Gojo, why can’t you give me a chance? Divorce with her!! Why would you wait for her curse to break, you know she’s useless either way”

“I won’t divorce her. I won’t give you a chance Mei Mei”

“You sure about that? Look at me, I have everything she doesn’t. You can do whatever you want with me, I offer you my body for tonight and for every night Gojo”

“NO! can’t you see that I don’t want you Mei Mei.. I’m not interested in touching you”

“I was the one who helped you Gojo to offend her and make her life a living hell, is this how you thank me by rejecting me?”

“I paid you for it, you’ve got the money what do you want more?”

“YOU! I LOVE YOU GOJO SATORU” she yelled, her hands reaching his private part to touch it but he slapped them away.

Without saying anything he walked towards the door to leave her room. He walked outside, but she followed him,

“Not so fast, you can’t just leave me like that-” she exclaimed desperately.

She grabbed his face and attempted to kiss him but before he could push her away, a voice spoke behind him,

“Satoru?” you said, your eyes widening.

You caught them in a very wrong time, Mei Mei was basically half naked, only in her laced lingerie that exposed her chest and barely covered her thighs and Gojo shirtless while their faces were close to each other and in front of her room. You couldn’t help but think that both of them half naked, did something very intimate; sex.

“Cheater” you mumbled and started walking away,

“Y/n wait” said Nanami, but you were already gone.

Gojo heart sank at your sight, your expressions a mixture of shock and betrayal. He watched helplessly as you turned away, your footsteps echoing in the silence that followed. It’s true he wanted revenge from the very beginning; he’s the one who asked for Mei Mei’s help. If he got caught in this situation at the beginning of your marriage he would be happiest but now? It made him more frustrated. He wanted to immediately run behind you, but he stopped himself. Why would he if both of you hate each other? You were with Nanami as well,  but he knew it wasn’t the same case. Mei Mei told you a lot of false information about her and Gojo being together and hooking up so seeing them both half naked could only mean one thing to you, that he fucked her and cheated on you.

“Fuck” he muttered under his breath.

Mei Mei smirked, seeing you like that made her happy and satisfied. Gojo rounded on her, his eyes narrowing with anger.

“You’re pathetic Mei Mei…. You’re living a false fantasy in your head and I pity you” he spat

“Aren’t you the same with Y/n? Living in your daydream about being with her while she’s out there with your colleague?” she spoke offensively.

His hands clenched into fists, his chest heavy with pent-up emotions. He was completely lost, he couldn’t understand why he felt his way, why it bothered him so much that he got caught. You were going to divorce anyway right? The realization of the consequences of his own actions hit him like a ton of bricks, but he can’t blame Mei Mei, the only one to blame is himself, he knew Mei Mei’s intentions from the beginning but he followed along, driven by his narcissism and ego, and now he’s silently paying for it.

“I don’t love you Mei Mei get that through your head, you took your money, now leave me alone-”

“You’ll regret that Gojo, you’ll regret breaking my heart”

“If there’s something to regret, is regretting involving you in the first place” he said through gritted teeth and then left.

“Don’t follow her Gojo, she clearly doesn’t wanna talk to you and she needs time now” said Nanami as Gojo walked past him.

“This will be my last warning Nanamin, stay away from my wife!” he threatened pointing his index finger at him.

“You dare to call her wife after cheating on her, your arrogance will end you someday Gojo Satoru”

“I. Didn’t. Cheat. On. Her”

“That’s not what it looks like…but you fucked up real bad”

“Mind your business” spat Satoru then left the his room.

….

You hesitated to knock on the door but you did eventually. Ain’t no way you’re spending the night with Gojo, you felt disgusted, and your heart was aching so much. Why would it hurt like this? Why would it affect you so much? You felt your inside organs sinking, as if someone got your heart in their hands and started squeezing it tightly making it bleed. Even though you were with Nanami, but both of you were respectful and didn’t cross the boundaries and most of all, fully dressed. Always eminding yourself that you’re a married woman and even if you don’t respect Gojo you still respect yourself and the others around you.  

“Y/n – sensei? Is everything okay?” said Maki as she opened the door.

Summoning your courage, you mustered the strength to voice your request,

“Could..could I spend the night here?” you asked.

“Of course sensei, come in please!”

Despite her sharp personality, Maki was always sweet and understanding towards you. She respects you a lot and over time both of you developed a good friendship even though she’s you’re student. She as well can’t stand Mei Mei and Satoru, so she knows well your struggle.

“Are you alright?” she asked worriedly,

“Mhm” you nodded

“You know if you wanna talk about it, I’m all ears!”

“You’re so sweet Maki! But I’m fine don’t worry I just don’t wanna spend the night with Satoru, you already know, haha the whole school knows that our marriage is fake so it’s kinda hard for both of us to share the room” you said trying to hide the truth that you actually caught your husband half naked with another woman.

“Is it Mei Mei? I know she always causes problems”

“Nah it has nothing to do with her” you reassured “Go back to sleep Maki, you have a long day tomorrow”

Maki moved a bit, giving you some space to lay there.

“Make yourself comfortable”  she smiled, giving you an extra blanket.

Anytime you closed your eyes, the sight of both of them creeped up in your mind, your eyes getting wet , you didn’t notice until that one single drop of tear fell on the pillow.

“No it can’t be…I hate him so much” you thought to yourself, trying to ease the heaviness you felt in your heart.

Finally, the sun rose. Announcing a new day. While Maki was asleep at night, you had a full conversation with yourself, giving yourself “the talk”. Convincing yourself that once you divorce him, things will get better and maybe you’ll meet the love of your life when you’re finally free from your curse and from him.

You headed to the common room with Maki to have breakfast, being with her while chatting about random things made your start of the day a lot better, you knew you’d find him there but you weren’t sure how to face him or repress that uncontrollable sting you felt. But your approach was to pretend, pretend as if you didn’t care, as if what happened yesterday was just a bad dream. You took a seat next to Nanami and Megumi and started munching on your food. Completely ignoring Gojo’s sad eyes that were looking your way and Mei Mei’s smirk that was directed to you. You actd as if both of them weren’t there. You enjoyed your breakfast, chitchatting with Nanami, he was as equally confused as Gojo. Didn’t you get pissed yesterday, how did you control your emotions in one night, how strong could you be. But Nanami was happy that you were doing alright, a cheater is definitely not worthy of your tears. Gojo tightened his grip around his cup, excusing himself from the table, barely finishing his food.

You spent your day teaching as usual, but having extra fun and laughing extra hard. To others it seemed real but inside it was nothing but a pretend. Laughing to not give a chance to your sorrow to take over you. Laughing and being a social butterfly, joking around with your students just to hide how empty you were feeling from the inside. The void inside of you got more bigger, and it requires more efforts to conceal it. You’ve got this, you’ve been dealing with emptiness and disappointment since a very young age, but as you got older you learned how to hide it but let it break you when you’re completely alone.

You watched as your students were gathered in the school field, chatting and having fun, a smile tugged on the corners of your mouth, having friends and enjoying your teenage years is something you never experienced but it made you happy to see others enjoy it; cousins and siblings, sharing inside jokes and discussing events that happened at school , gossiping about teachers while you sat in a corner, forced by your parents to sit with them, just so you don’t lose your social skills of being at home for your whole life. Funny how they were scared that you might lose your social skills while you already lost yourself.

And now it’s repeating itself, you’re watching your students laugh together and enjoy their time. But it’s never too late to have. You walked towards them, yes, you’ll join them and act as if you were a student, for once you wanted to experience that.

“Hey guys, watcha doing?” you said with a smile.

“Oh Sensei! We were just having fun” exclaimed Yuuji excitedly,

“Oh , mind if I join?” you asked

“You’re always welcome in the friend group sensei” said Nobara

You sat with them, joining in the fun, carrying the conversation with them. Maybe you had nothing positive out of this new life, out of this marriage but at least now you have friends; Nanami, Maki, Yujii and the other students. Funny how these young students are way mature and respectful than Gojo and Mei Mei. Proof that power isn’t everything if you can’t be a decent human being.

As you were laughing at one of Panda’s jokes, you were taken aback from a deep voice that filled the space and got you al mute instantly.

“You brats are so loud, wonder how Y/N is bearing you”

You kept looking for the voice, when Yuji slapped his face.

“Eeh apologies sensei, he likes to intervene in the most unexpected times”

“Huh?” you looked at Yuuji and you saw a mouth popping up on his cheek.

“What is that?” you asked again

“That? Tch I’m Ryomen Sukuna the king of curses”

It was the first time you see him, or only his mouth. You knew Yuuji was the vessel but you didn’t know that he could show up like that. Suddenly, tattoos started appearing on Yuuji’s face.

“Oh this can’t be any good” muttered Megumi.

You looked in disbelief, the jujutsu world is full of surprises. Scary but interesting.

“Now kids excuse us, I need to talk with Y/N alone” said Sukuna making you furrow your brows.

All of them stood their ground, ready to exorcise him if he ever touched you. You heart warmed at how they were considerate and protective over you but it made you feel weak. A teacher is the one supposed to protect the studenst and not opposite.

“I won’t let you hurt Y/n-sensei” said Megumi

“That’s okay guys! I’ll be fine” you smiled towards them “Go back to your classes, I’ll join you later”

Well you weren’t sure if you’ll join them later or not, given that Ryomen Sukuna is standing in front of you and he could snap you in half before even trying to take your last breath. But you wanted to face a real danger, you’ve never seen a curse and you had the honor to see the king of curses.

Sukuna looked at you with his red eyes and a playful smirk drawn on his face.

“So you’re the rumored to surpass me?” he started

“E-excuse me?” you said in confusion, how would you surpass the king of curses.

“Oh yeah I remember, they’re hiding a lot of things from you, a lot of information from you….but I’m not one to spoil the fun but rather run with the flow if I like it of course…so imma just say, I can’t wait for you curse to break.”

“What are you talking about? What info? And why would you wait for my curse to break?”

“To finally have the legendary duel that everyone is waiting for, including your husband”

You froze in place, as fear crept into your bones like a chill.

“There must be a mistake, what duel? I’m not even a sorcerer”

“You will be! You don’t know your potential yet, surprised that that brat Gojo Satoru hasn’t told you, he likes to spoil everything”

“So is this an indirect way to say that you can’t wait to kill me?”

“Something like that yeah”

“oh wow wonderful” you chuckled nervously, as your hands started sweating.

What a way to finish your day, by getting threatened by the king of curses himself.

As you were talking, Mei Mei interrupted you. You rolled your eyes, being threatened by Sukuna is way better than seeing her face. But you had to act cool.

“Oh look who’s here” she begun “The famous Ryomen Sukuna”

“Isn’t she scared that he might kill her?” you thought to yourself.

“I’m having a private conversation so get out of here” he spat ruthlessly

“Oh don’t worry, I have no intention in fighting you Sukuna just wanted to check up on my friend”

“Talking as if you stand a chance against me in a fight, so don’t make me say it again, piss off NOW”

“Alright, but I see that Y/n is having fun, surrounding yourself by men! Married to Gojo, hooking up with Nanami and now hitting on Ryomen Sukuna… not only a gold and power digger but also a curse digger…. Now I see why Gojo chose me- because you’re a slut”

You couldn’t take it anymore, so you slapped her as hard as you could, you hand connected with her cheek in a sharp crack. The force of the slap sent a shockwave through Mei Mei’s body, her head snapping to the side with the impact. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as she registered the sting of pain radiating from her cheek, a burning sensation that pulsed with each rapid heartbeat. As she found your eyes, she was met with a fury gaze that burned holes through her. She’s been provoking you and pushing you to the brink for days now, and you finally snapped.

Sukuna watched with amusement, you didn’t disappoint even though you’ve got 0 cursed energy. He knew you were different from the day you succeeded in landing a punch on the famous Gojo Satoru, he’s formidable enemy. But know he’s no longer interested in Gojo, his new target is you.

Mei Mei took a step closer to you but Sukuna stood in front of you,

“You dare to lay a finger on her and I’ll chop you into pieces” he threatened, his red eyes glowing .

“I know you won’t, you have a pact with Yuji and you can’t break it”

“Who said I can’t? know your place fool, I’m the king of curses”

“Ahh” she laughed in disbelief.

“Are you thick in the head or what? I SAID PISS OFF BITCH”

Mei Mei left both of you alone, walking away like a loser she is. You looked at Sukuna, he was threatening you a few minutes ago and now defending you?

“Why’d you do that? Defend me? I thought you wanted to kill me?”

“Because you’re reserved for me, no one can harm my future opponent, gotta keep you safe fpr now so I can enjoy fighting you later” he smirked.

You glared at him,

“So I’m supposed to thank you?”

“Nah you’re supposed to find out why your curse didn’t break yet, aren’t you curious?”

You were indeed curious but you had nothing you could do except waiting, you married Satoru and that’s the ultimate thing you could do. After making your vows that bond was automatically created, you knew breaking the curse takes time, but it took longer than you expected, but what can you do except waiting? So you avoided it and just let this invisible bond do its thing. Now after meeting Sukuna you were questioning if you truly wanted to become a sorcerer, since you’ll probably get killed by him.

“I’m not” you simply said and left.

“We’ll meet again Y/n, so better count your days” he teased, his devilish laughed echoeing in your ears.

…..

“Sensei are you alright?” asked Maki

“Yeah I’m fine, just had a small talk with Sukuna” you reassured them

“SENSEI” yelled Yuuji as he ran towards you.

“Yuuji-kun?”

“I’m sorry Sensei I couldn’t stop him from swapping…I’m sorry if he scared you” explained Yuuji with an apologetic expression, as he engulfed you in a hug.

“Aw, you’re the sweetest Yuuji! But no need to worry about me, I’m really fine” you smiledwidely, patting his head.

“I’m glad you’re okay!”

“Now go on to your dorms, it’s getting late”

….

You closed your room’s door, taking a heavy breath as you started changing into your pyjamas,

“And I thought my life wouldn’t get any worse”

Settling on your bed, you didn’t want to spend the night with Satoru but you had no option. You can’t spend the rest of your life in Maki’s room. As you were trying to calm yourself down from the storm that raged inside you, your stomach twisting, expecting Gojo to show up at any given moment, you grabbed your book, flipping the pages. You couldn’t concentrate or keep your focus on anything, your thoughts scrambled, too many threats, too many problems and it was already a success that you didn’t lose your shit yet. Trying your best to stay composed and to not go completely crazy on anyone who tries to talk to you.

As your eyes focused on the page in front you, words not making any sense, the door creaked open, shattering your desperate attempt of having a peaceful night. Your heart leaped into your throat, you knew he’ll join you eventually, but forseeing it didn’t make you any prepared. A wave of panic washed over you, feeling as if you were going to puke from how anxious you were. You averted your gaze back to your book, avoiding him even though you felt his eyes boring into you. You didn’t know the reason behind his intense looks and you weren’t ready to find out as well. Your jaw clenched tight as you tried to keep your emotions in check, your silence already spoke volumes.

He grabbed a t-shirt and one of his sweatpants from his wardrobe and started changing, you weren’t phased by him changing in front of you, you were actually ignoring his existence. He knew you were done with him when you didn’t yell at him for changing in front of you, for not even being bothered by his appearance. You were boiling inside, but you kept a poker face. And it broke him into pieces, it have made him loads better if you screamed and yelled at him, if you voiced your anger like you usually do, but your silence scared him for the very first time and he thought it was the end.

He joined you in bed. By his body language you could tell he was preparing to say something. He cleared his throat, hesitant to say anything, but he had to keep that cool and confident image.

“Hey about last night, just so you know I didn’t cheat on you- it’s not like what it seemed, we di-”

“I don’t wanna hear anything, I don’t wanna even hear your voice Satoru” you said coldly

“I’m not dying to express myself but I don’t like it when someone msiun-”

“THEN SHUT UP” you snapped out of frustration

“W-what?”

“Idon’t wanna hear any more lies Satoru, you can fuck her as much as you want you, it’s not phasing me at all”

“Then why did it bother you like that to the point that ran away-”

“Because I’m disgusted of you” you said through gritted teeth throwing away your book on the floor

He didn’t say anything, but looked at you with wide eyes as you threw a tantrum.

“Why’d you insist that I’m a cheater huh? Because I’m not! She pushed herself on me! It was just a wrong timing”

“I.Don’t.Care!” you said as you left the bed

“Yeah clearly, you don’t care about anyone except yourself” now he started attacking you,

“WHAT?”

He took a step closer to you, his hand grabbing your wrist forcefully, pulling you towards him,

“I said you only care about yourself! You see what you want to see, you understand what you want to understand, you don’t even try to connect with people on a deeper level because you’re empty and you hate it, because you know once they get to know you they’ll find nothing from the inside”

He did strike a sensitive nerve, and hit a sensitive spot in you, using your trauma against you is a terrible thing to do, such a cowardice. It’s like voicing his own trauma but using it to insult you.

“You don’t have any right to say this, you don’t even know me!”

“And you don’t have any right to call me a cheater, you don’t even know me!”

“All I know is that you’re broken, alone and desperate…hiding behind power but the night exposes you, you nightmares humble you-”

“If you say any other word, you’ll regret it Y/N”

“Yeah threaten me all you like, I’m going to die anyway” you said the last sentence as a whisper but he heard it.

It pissed him off, how you caught all vulnerable, he hated to admit how his nightmares scared him, how they haunted him for years but you simply used them against him. He took a step closer to you,

“I pity you Y/n, you dare to speak nonsense because your entire life is nonsense itself.. Yeah that must be hard for you, being ignored by your parents and family, of course you’d grow up to become a disappointment, a failure. You failed your family and now you’re failing everyone around you in Jujutsu high..” he spoke,

His words like daggers that were thrown directly at your chest, you wanted to fight him back but deep down you knew every word he said was true. Your family didn’t even call to check up on you since the day you got married, as if you were a burden and finally got rid of it. They didn’t even believe that your curse would break, they had a bit of hope that Gojo would do something but definitely not you. 

You stared at him, with a smile that hid your sadness , you grabbed your jacket, and left. Closing the door behind you. He didn’t mean any word he said, he was just driven by jealousy, and you saying that him and Mei Mei didn’t bother you drove him crazy, making him think that you don’t have any feelings towards him and that you want Nanami instead.

*Timeskip to the morning*

As the morning light filtered through the big window, casting a warm glow over the breakfast table, Gojo took his seat, ignoring Mei Mei who was trying hard to get his attention. As the minutes ticked by, your absence became increasingly conspicuous, concerned whispers filled the room.

“Where’s your wife?” asked principal Yaga

Satoru’s brow furrowed in confusion,

“I thought she was here…maybe she’s in the bathroom or something” he replied, shoving food inside his mouth.

“I was in the bathroom, and she wasn’t there” said Maki

A sense of panic rippled through the group, Nanami quickly stood up from his chair and started searching in the whole school, but you were nowhere to be found. Followed by your students, principal Yaga and now Gojo whose heart started pounding as he looked for you everywhere. Only Mei Mei calmly sitting still, enjoying her food.

Once again gathered in the common room, after their failed attempt to find you, they called you multiple times but failed to reach you.

“Did something happened between you two?” asked Principal Yaga, his voice cutting through the chaos.

Satoru swallowed hard, the weight of his guilt settling heavily upon his shoulders,

“We-we had an argument last night….” He admitted “she left the room and I thought she was just going to the balcony or something…I didn’t realize she had left”

“SHE WAS YOUR FUCKING RESPONSIBILTY SATORU!!” yelled Yaga sensei

“Sensei I truly didn’t know!”

“You know that there’s a murderer on the loose that’s targeting her and you didn’t care ..”

“Wait what?” asked the students in union since they didn’t know about Toji’s plan to murder you.

“Instead of protecting her what the fuck where you doing?” asker principal Yaga once again

“He was with me!” said Mei Mei taking the last bite of her toast “Gojo was with me” she repeated

“If you dare to throw any other lie Mei Mei I swear to God I’ll kill you” threatened Gojo walking towards her but Nanami stopped him.

“Don’t blame others for your own mistakes Gojo “ she said offensively

As they were fighting, trying to have a plan on how to find you, Gojo received a text on his phone, that got his eyes widen in fear,

[Gojo Satoru, I wanted to inform you that your wife is with me, I don’t think you care that much , but so you can save yourself and energy from the hassle of searching that the higher ups would put you through – Toji Fushiguro]

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[tiny-chubby-bird]

i just think it's so neat how saitama and genos meeting and living together helped them experience happiness. like, i wouldn't say they're curing each others depression, they still got issues clearly.

but genos was hyperfocused on getting revenge and was like one second away from self destructing if saitama hadn't shown up. he started living a more or less normal life again once he moved in with saitama. he hyperfocused on saitama instead of just getting revenge. he has hobbies now, things he enjoys, even if he mainly just follows saitama and does what he does, i think it's still helpful for his mental health and to get out of that hateful cycle.

meanwhile saitama had a whole internal speech about not feeling anything anymore before meeting genos, and then this young and intense cyborg guy suddenly started following him everywhere and moved in with him. he helps clean and cook and goes grocery shopping with and for saitama. he supports him in everything he does. he adds some excitement and companionship to saitama's life, which had been kinda dull ever since he became so strong.

they both gave each other things to care about and to feel again.

[tototalks]

That’s a wrap on Prince’s Gambit!! 🥳 Let me tell you, there was not a SINGLE chapter of this book I didn’t adore. Absolutely stunning ♥️

Final thoughts! ✨ (Sorry for the length again 💀)

- Starting off strong with seeing Halvik and the awesome lady warriors again!! Halvik really saw the longest, prettiest, most luscious eyelashes on a man and knew it was an absolute waste. She is SO valid for that.

- Laurent is playing Game of Thrones 5D chess, and his mind terrifies and amazes me. His strategy and diplomacy with the reinforcements was absolute genius and this is why I need a Hamlet situation to happen with uncle dearest.

- Damen. Leather loincloth. That’s it. That’s the post. 🙂

- I love this weird point where Damen and Laurent both look at each other like “this is so clearly more than friends, but what the actual FUCK is this??”

- AIMERIC?! NO NO NO. FFS!! Omg I didn’t see that coming!! Why do I even bother getting attached anymore. I am the fool.😭

- Jord is breaking my fucking heart in two. I need good things to happen for him after this. He’s done nothing to deserve the betrayal, and that’s the phenomenal cruelty of it. Bad things happen to good people and there’s not shit you can do about it. ☹️

- BATTLE FOR THE PRINCE!!!! Man, I was ready to ride into battle with them! What an adrenaline kick of a scene!

- Damen was fully recognised, and yet, in the midst of it, there is MORE PAIN FOR JORD 🙃

- I am so happy that we get to see Erasmus and the living testament to the fact kindness is powerful.

- “I don’t like the Regent. He burned my leg!!” YOU TELL THEM BABE!! His revenge is so so sweet. Enjoy it, Erasmus♥️

- The kiss. Oh my stars, the kiss. That was the most angst promising, stunning, and oh-so-earned kiss made even more poignant by the fact I’m convinced Laurent KNOWS and is letting it happen anyway. If my suspicions are correct, he’s had to come to terms with the fact he’s fallen for the man who killed his brother. I am TERRIFIED for King’s Rising. 🙃

- Aimeric and Laurent, both very different victims. - “you attack those who can’t defend themselves” - Damen… bro… I love you but stop. But I like the fact we get to see that Laurent is not impenetrable. He’s cold and cunning but still human and deeply hurt.

- Damen and Laurent’s first time. Wow. Just wow. The layers to this scene. Laurent’s clear trauma associated with sex and Damen’s reassurance and honour. “How a man takes a boy?” “No. How a man takes a man.” You hear that? That’s the sound of my heart shattering further. Sex scene done RIGHT.

- “Nicaise would not see fifteen now.”… well there goes the last of my fucking heart. I am DEVASTATED. He deserved to live. If you hear sobbing coming from the general direction of Hong Kong, just know it was me. 🥲

- “I’m sorry, Jord” - C.S. Pacat. We are gonna have words. You cannot make a bad bitch like me cry this hard.

- The Regent and Kastor in kahoots. Ooooooh boy - it pains me that deep down I feel like Laurent wanted to prove to himself that Damen wasn’t special and goaded him into that punch to prove it, and yet Damen recognises the cycle of abuse and that BLINDSIDES Laurent.

- AKIELON REINFORCEMENTS??!!! NIKANDROS!!??

- Aaaaaaand there’s Damen’s secret blown to utter smithereens. Nice job, Nikandros lol

- And if all that wasn’t enough, chapter 19 1/2 killed me off for good, so long folks 💀

Let’s go, King’s Rising!! 👑 ⚔️

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 22)

Uzi did finally get that baby bag.

It wasn't much, a glorified swaddle made from a purple blanket that wrapped around her torso so that Tera could rest at her side without pulling while she walked around. It had been almost scary, she'd seen new mothers walk around with them all the time when she was younger.

And now… here she was, baby strapped to her side as she went home. Home as in, her dad's apartment, her apartment, or maybe not anymore, after today.

N had gone off to pick up the newly made crib early that morning, yes morning. Neither of them had needed to go outside for a least a week, and they're schedules were starting to cycle back into what other drones would consider normal.

But even then it gave them a little time to talk about how raising Tera was going to work.

Her room in her apartment was too small to raise a baby in, it was almost too small for her, with stuff just shoved unceremoniously wherever there was room. It was too messy, and dangerous! Her railgun was still in peices on the couch, and while it was broken there were still several parts that could discharge and hurt someone.

Which left N's apartment, which had plenty of room, as it was nearly empty, he'd brought in the very little stuff he owned (blankets, pillows and plush toys) but all of that easily fit in the bedroom with plenty of room to spare.

Plenty of room for her stuff.

And that thought on it's own made her fluster, they'd spent plenty of nights together, especially recently. But it had always been under the pretense that she'd be going back home eventually. That she didn't live there.

Robo-god she was about to see her dad. Her dad which had zero context for what she was about to unleash on him. That her and N were together now, that he had a granddaughter, that she was… moving out.

So much had happened this week. Hell, so much had been happening almost every week. And all of it was stressful, wether it be life threatening or just life changing, it seemed like after years of nothing happening, it was all catching up with her with everything happening at once.

“Doorman?” A voice she recognized, a voice she really didn’t want to see, preferably ever, but especially not right now, with Tera awake and babbling from her bag.

“What is it Lizzy?” She deadpanned, not bringing any attention to the baby strapped to her side even though that was clearly what caught the other drones attention, her pink eyes locked to the bag in surprise.

“Oh shit, that was actually your kid?” Lizzy immediately asked, making Uzi roll her eyes as she remembered that Lizzy was the one that had initially exposed her.

“Yup. This is Tera.” Admitting it at first felt strange, like her tongue had wanted to reject it, but it quickly settled into contentment, yeah, this was right. And honestly, trying to make Lizzy feel bad about something felt too good to say anything else.

“I had wanted to keep some things private, but somebody took a picture of us bringing her home.” Yeah she wasn't going to let Lizzy get away with that without a jab or two, she'd caused a bigger headache than what was already happening, and Uzi was itching for some revenge, even if it was just light teasing.

“Oh come on! Like you wouldn't have done the same thing.” She snapped back, although she sounded less bratty than usual, although wether that was V's influence or the fact a baby was present was unclear.

“Snapped a picture, totally, blackmail is blackmail, immediately post it to every inbox in range… No.” She replied, not wanting this conversation to last much longer than it had to, she didn't particularly like Lizzy, her being a main source of her suffering for a long time.

She just needed to get that jab in.

Lizzy just scoffed, looking her up and down and crossing her arms as if searching for something, probably something else to mock her for, Uzi found herself rolling her eyes again, turning to walk away from her and the conversation before Lizzy started talking again.

“Sorry or whatever, I thought you were just babysitting or something. Didn't think it'd be a big deal.”

Holy Shit, was Lizzy apologizing?

“Uh.” Honestly Uzi wasn't sure how to respond, she'd wanted her to feel bad sure, but she wasn't sure if that was even possible, and she'd never in a million years think she'd be hearing Lizzy apologize.

“Yeah, sure.” Is what came defensively out of her mouth as she walked away, Tera blew a raspberry at Lizzy from the bag, giggling when she got pink hollow eyelights in return.

Okay, so maybe she could keep her edginess and still be motherly figure to Tera, that hadn't occurred to her as an option, a part of her thought she'd become a different person, and maybe she was around N and Tera behind closed doors, but here? She didn't feel soft, she felt like she always did, slightly bitter, like licorice.

She passed more drones on her way, some didn't seem to notice her which was absolutely fine with her, but some definitely did, stopping and staring at the neighborhood goth carrying around a giggling baby in a cute little purple swaddle.

She could understand why they were staring, it was quite the image, but it didn't mean she had to like it.

Tera on the other hand was loving the attention, each set of eyelights on her produced another laugh and some rolling that had Uzi holding the side of the bag so she wouldn't roll out onto the floor.

One drone was a little too obvious for Uzi's liking, staring at the bag like it would suddenly come to life and harm him.

“Hey! Stop staring and mind your business!” She turned to the guy, who immediately looked scared out of his mind, his purple eyelights hollowing as he nodded.

“Yes ma’am sorry!” He raised his hands before scampering away with his tail between his legs, if he had one, that is.

She smirked a little before moving on, it was a powerful feeling, to scare someone off, and it was satisfying as well, she didn't like the way he was looking at her baby.

She finally, finally reached where she wanted to be, well not wanted, she wanted to be anywhere else. But where she needed to be.

She knocked. Which was weird because it was her door, she had the key to get in whenever she wanted. But it still felt like the right thing to do at the moment, she heard shuffling from the other side of the heavy steel, great, her dad was home.

Her dad, the one who'd left her to die, the one who left her alone to cry herself to sleep after her mother died, the main reason her core had such heavy shielding protecting the softness inside. Why her first instinct to any problem was to yell at it, or turn to science to better choose violence.

She held a lot of resentment towards him, something she'd shown time and time again, a part of her wanting to hurt him the same way he'd been hurting her. But she could never bring herself to hate him, not when she did still have memories of him being a halfway decent father, holding her when she'd have nightmares, giving her piggyback rides, being the first one to teach her about mechanics, and give her her first toolset.

“Coming!” Khan shouted, he'd been drafting of some blueprints. Not of doors, but of something for N, if he wanted it.

A cap for his tail, made out of solid steel and form fitting, so it slid right over the needle, it was just a concept for now, he didn't have the exact measurements of his tail and he wasn't even sure N would want something like that, he seemed to have good control over it. But if Khan had a tail with a stinger, he'd want to make sure his infant daughter couldn't accidentally grab it, just to be safe.

So really it was gift for Tera, but, nonetheless.

He opened the door, surprised to see his daughter of all drones knocking, she never knocked, she lived here!

“Uzi? Why'd you knock? Did you lose your key?” He tilted his head in confusion before his eyes followed the strap of the baby bag, he blinked, and tiny purple eyelights blinked back.

“I-is that?” His voice almost immediately turned warbly, he didn't hadn't ever seen Tera before, he didn't realize how much she looked like his daughter, at least when she was also a pillbaby.

“That's Tera Dad, can I- can I come in?” Her voice sounded muted, not like the fiery rebellious drone he'd come to know as his daughter, he moved out of the way wordlessly, eyes still trained on the tiny droneling at her side.

She was giggling at him, rolling madly in an attempt to escape her confines, Uzi dipped her arm into the bag and lifted her up into her arms.

“Stop squirming Jellybean, or you're gonna fall.”

Tera was just happy for the attention attempting to roll more even though she was trapped in Uzi's hands. She sighed.

“Sorry, she has a lot of energy.” She smiled warily at her dad, who looked like his core had been ejected and thrown halfway across the room.

All he could see was his wife, the first month or two they had Uzi and she was a cryer, there were no moments of silence in the Doorman household, if Uzi was left alone for even a millisecond she'd begin to wail which meant either Nori or himself would have to be with her at all hours.

And Uzi shared her mother's stress lines, looking a little bit worn out but satisfied and happy, eye's shining with so much raw affection for the child in her arms that Khan knew, without another word spoken, that he had a granddaughter.

“That's quite alright dronelette…” He managed to force out the words, hopefully without sounding too strained, he wanted Uzi to feel comfortable enough to talk to him, to tell him things. Even if she thought he didn't like it.

And a part of him didn't, she was 18, not quite even an adult yet but her birthday was coming up soon. And dammit she was still his daughter, watching her grow up this much in such a little amount of time was harrowing, and only reminded him of how much he'd missed while wallowing in his grief.

Another part of him was almost giddy, a granddaughter, a granddaughter, it was honestly something he never even hoped to have, Uzi had never been one to make freinds, much less romantic connections.

“Yeah- uh, this is Tera, N's daughter.” She repeated, obviously nervous and tired. Khan wondered if N looked equally run down. And if perhaps Tera was the same level of clingy Uzi had been.

“I wanted you to meet her, since I've been spending so much time with the both of them…”

He could only bring himself to smile and nod, but wanted to freeze as Uzi came toward him and outstretched her arms, he clumsily stepped forward and took the tiny droneling into his arms, core stopping for a moment.

“She learns names pretty quick, oh, and she's a hugger, so uh, beware.” She warned, still seemingly nervous, he was sure he'd know exactly why soon, although he had a feeling he might already know.

Khan looked down at the baby, which felt like lead in his hands as she smiled up at him, weirdly silent considering all the babbling he'd just heard.

“Tera, this is Khan.” Uzi spoke softly to the baby, standing beside her father as he looked like he was about keel over. “He's my dad.”

Tera's smile grew bigger, although she didn't attempt to say his name, perhaps more than a single letter was too much for her. Instead she blew a goofy raspberry, rolling around in his arms for a moment before rolling into him, giving him a hug.

Tears sprung up in his eyes as something in his core snapped, he held her closely, and a sniffle escaped his voice box before he could stop himself.

“Dad?” Uzi sounded slightly worried for him, she'd known he'd might have some kind of reaction to seeing Tera, but this was a little more then she'd expected.

“I-I'm alright! I just-” He blinked away the tears and tried to steel himself, thoughts running a mile a minute. “I see why you warned me. Hah…”

“Yeah… you should have seen V, you could see the exact second her core melted.” Khan only could nod, the droneling now pressed up against him made a chirping noise, happy and content at any love given to her.

“But ah…that's uh, not the only reason I came here, just to… introduce you to a droneling that… that you're not gonna see often. You are gonna see her often, A-at least I hope you do, C-cause she's not just N's… she's-she's mine… too.” She rambled and sputtered as she tried to find the words to say, Khan felt himself smiling as she continued, she was expressing a want to have him around, that he wouldn't be mad. That'd he'd want to be-

“She's your granddaughter… dad.” She finished, looking more stressed then ever, like he could ever possibly tell her that he didn't want to be in her life anymore.

He winced as he remembered all the times he did indirectly. Leaving her alone so he could throw himself into another project, neglecting the one person he still had as family simply because she looked too much like Nori to look in the eye.

And she really looked like her now.

He looked back down at Tera, at his granddaughter, and felt himself begin to tear up again. She was smiling at him, babbling and cooing up at him as he launched forward and hugged his daughter with all his might.

He felt her tense, then, thankfully, she relaxed, mindful of the child as she curled up in his arms much like she did when she was little, and she'd needed comfort from a nightmare. He felt her visor press against his chest, breathing shaky, like she herself was about to cry.

How could he have left her, how? What kind of parent was he that he left his own daughter? What kind of man?

And how could she have ever forgiven him? He knew he could never forgive himself.

“I'm sorry dronelette, I'm so so sorry.” He cracked out, petting her hair, he felt some kind of pressure on his back, her hand most likely, and she almost laughed, though it sounded pained.

“I'm still… so angry at you.” She admitted, slowly, though not pulling away. And he felt more pained steel settle in his core, he deserved this… whatever she needed to say. If she needed curse at him, to hit him even, he'd deserve it, although he hoped she wouldn't in front of Tera.

“But I missed you more.”

And thats all it took for them both to sob like newborns, her face burying into his shoulder as she let years worth of coiled pain escape her, despite all she'd done, how much she'd grown, she was still 18, still much a kid herself.

And they remained like that for some time, at least until Tera got uncomfortable being sandwiched between them and began to fuss, which finally ended the long overdue hug between father and daughter.

“H-here, give her to me.” She stammered out, either slightly embarrassed or still a little emotional, and Khan did as he was told, handing daughter back to mother.

She rocked her until she stopped fussing, and Khan led them both to the couch with his hand, still recovering himself.

She flopped on the couch like she carried the entire weight of the world on her shoulders, Tera held gingerly until she was placed between them do she could freely roll around, which she did happily.

“I'm assuming that means N is my son in law now?” He chuckled out, trying to lighten the somewhat oppressive mood that had settled over them. She blushed heavily, sputtering out a surprised response.

“We're not- he's- uh… He's my… boyfriend now yeah.”

He laughed, even though he saw it coming a mile away, he thought he might be more upset about it then he was, but N had more than proven Uzi was his priority, even over himself at times.

“And you need help moving your stuff out?” He continued, smiling through the small amount of pain the thought caused him, she was growing up, but if that hug had shown him anything, she still needed her dad, and he couldn't ignore that, he wouldn't, not anymore.

Next ->

[ciaoteamo]

please more period shit with Miguel oh my god but him as dom

pairings: Miguel x reader

summary: Miguel gets his revenge on you for last month

warnings: 18+ content, hard dom

Honestly, every month your cycle came around, you’d just imagine your life without it. It had its pro’s and con’s. The majority being the latter.

This time it was just as bad as the month before. You were feeling dizzy, your legs ached, and of course the cramps were far from subtle.

You groaned in the bed, thankfully, Miguel was on his way. You were watching the red dot that marked his location and he was getting closer by the second.

Thankfully for you, he’d noticed that it was coming beforehand and started coming home earlier.

You tried to make yourself some dinner but ultimately gave up. It wasn’t worth standing in the freezing kitchen vs. your comfortable bed.

A portal with red and yellow accents appeared in front of you. Miguel came through it with a bag with what looked like a box inside.

You smile at him and he grinned. “i’ll be right back” He pat your leg before leaving the room. You heard your microwave open downstairs and shortly after, the fridge.

Then footsteps were climbing your steps and entering your room. You see Miguel come back with a few things gathered, clearly trying to keep them from your view.

“alright, i know what you need, so of course i’ll help you first” He tucks everything at the foot of the bed, leaving you curious.

He walks to your nightstand and opens the secret drawer, pulling out a few of your toys.

“which one is easiest to clean?” He asks, examining the devices. You point to the simple black cylinder shaped like a lipstick.

He puts the rest of the toys to the foot of the bed and climb atop. “look, after you cum, i’m probably gonna turn and be very merciless” He starts in a serious tone.

“tell me now if you don’t want to go the extra mile” He pulls back your covers and gently lifts your legs before speeding them.

“i’m fine with it” You answer, breath hitching once he pulls off your bottoms.

“okay” He turns on the vibrator and kisses the back of your knee, he was slow with his movements, and gentle with his touch.

You watched his every move. He looked hungrily at your leaking vagina, rubbing the tip of the vibrator around the area. He finally placed it on your clit and your body flinched at the sudden intense speed.

You put a hand over your mouth and closed your eyes. He moved the toy in tights circles, causing you to shake every second.

You suddenly sit up, holding his hand in place to get you to your high while moaning shamelessly. Your orgasm washed over you, making you instinctively look up at Miguel with an open mouth and knitted eyebrows.

He hummed and kissed your legs again as you came down from your high, he still had the same hungry look on his face.

You relax your legs and catch your breath. “feeling better? let me know when you’re ready to move forward” He puts the vibrator down and gently rubs your legs.

“i’m ready” You say, feeling the aftermath of your orgasm fade away.

He looks up for a brief second through his eyebrows, as if to protest. He sits up straight and puts his hands on either side of your head.

“what’s your word?” He starts to kiss your neck.

“oh wow” You say. He must be serious. “we can just use the colors, no?”

“i’m fine with that” He whispers into your neck before giving it a harsh bite. You hide and grab onto his hair.

“i hope you didn’t-“ You start.

“don’t worry” Miguel cuts you off, giving your neck a nice long lick. “they weren’t protracted… yet” He half heartedly reassured you.

He trailed kisses up your jaw and stopped to give your ear a nibble. You kept your eyes closed as you relished in the feeling of him exploring you.

You hear a sharp like noise and see his claws protracted. He used his pointer finger to slice through your (his) t-shirt and the band of your bra with ease.

His hands roamed your chest with care. You gasp when he suddenly rolls your nipples between his teeth. You put your hands on the back of head and tugged on his hair.

You were at the boarder line of pain when he finally let go, leaving them and swollen and hard.

He then gave you a quick peck on the lips before sitting up straight with his hard on leveled with your entrance.

He picked up the things ont he floor from earlier with his webs and sat the bag and a bowl by you.

He pulled out a long silk blindfold and sat it on your leg. You were curious to see what else would come out but he stopped there.

“do you mind this?” He asks. You shook your head no and he gently wrapped the smooth fabric around your eyes.

Everything went back but you could feel him still close to you.

“i don’t think we’ve done this before, blindfolding, that is.” He starts, his voice making your ear tingle.

“no” Your voice came out as a whisper to your surprise.

“you disable one sense, and the others are heightened” He was now ghost his lips over your neck.

Suddenly you feel the cool air again and hear rustling. You swallow thickly as you wait for the next step. He quickly flips you over making you curse at him for the sudden movement.

“damnit Miguel!” You got silence as a reply from him and felt your wrists and ankles being covered. What this… web?

Your arms were suddenly pulled up and so were your legs. Were you hanging from the ceiling right now?

“am high up on the air right now? am i still over the bed at least?” You question, doing your best to not move from the panic.

“relax amor” You felt him kiss your cheek. “all that matters is that you’re safe” He reassured.

You only sigh and you stiffly stay in place. You feel something cold touch your stomach and jolt. It felt like ice.

There was another piece placed on you that made you jolt again, nothing moving in opposite directions. One was moving toward your chest, and was on your nipple in no time, the new feeling making you squirm in the air.

It felt good, cooling off your abused nipples. The other was on the hood of your vagina, slowly moving to your clit until it was quickly pushed into you. Your back arched and you tugged at the webs.

Miguel’s fingers were deep in you, pushing the ice as far as it would go while your hums were turning into moans.

“don’t let that fall out” He says, focusing back on the ice on your nipples, moving is around so that it wouldn’t get too cold in one spot.

You could feel the ice melting and slipping down. You start to clench your hole the best your could.

“what a sight… your hole and the ice are making a beautiful lube” He cooed while squeezing your thigh. He gave both cheeks a harsh slap, making you focus on the ice for a moment.

“fuck!” You wince and catch the ice. You could feel the cold liquids seeping into your crack, making your butthole clench as well.

“you enjoying this?” He asks,still stroking your legs. He puts in another cube before you can answer and you feel the previous water leak from you.

You groan and try to close your legs to no avail. His hands came crashing against your ass again.

“FUCK- you-“

“answer me” He kisses your inner thigh while you shook. “are you enjoying this?”

“yes…” You almost whine.

“good girl” Good girl? Since when did he say that? You didn’t hate it coming from him though..

The bag rattled once again and this time you heard a cap open and close.

“i’m gonna be nice and tell you that this is to warm you up for later” You feel him lick the never ending fall coming from your vagina and spread the juices over both holes.

You could imagine what he looked like. Tongue shiny and coated in your blood and ecstasy. His eyes were probably as red as your blood by now, hungry for you.

You feel something cold rubbing at your butt hole before slowly being pressed in. “try to relax” He says as he eases a toy into you.

"shit-" You curse, feeling yourself stretch.

This was going to be a long night for the both of you.

(A/N): I'm trying to push out as many posts as possible since I was behind amores, lmk if you would like the rest of this one anon! &lt;3

[combustiblegarbage]

you know i was thinking of how remarkable it is that fma03 really dives deep into this idea of like. avoiding "respectability politics" with scar. scar is an ishbalan, and everyone is afraid of ishbalans and thinks of them as criminals, and scar kills people. he does the thing that people are afraid he will do! i'm thinking about how france here and how as a country they have made it a uniquely national crusade to be insanely islamophobic in all walks of life; and how over the past 10 years there have been several very public attacks and/or incidents which claim to be associated with ISIS or some other extremist group (i am thinking of the paris nightclub shooting and specifically charlie hebdo too because hoo boy was that an example of french white folks going "see we TOLD YOU you should be scared of muslims!")

and like. this idea is present in fma03 too, that an ishbalan person committing crimes and killing people is like a self-fulfilling prophecy, is something that can and should be used to politically justify more policies against them (the ishbalans we see are constantly being shuffled around and "resettled" to different areas by the state!). but what's extraordinary for a tv show like this, esp in 2003, is that instead of turning around and saying "so this is why you have to be careful/cautious around ishbalans/this is why these policies are justified" etc the show explicitly and quite clearly says, "these policies are what CREATED scar."

HE IS CALLED, SCAR! he is a physical representation of the painful bodily gash left in the corpus of his people, he is the embodiment of their trauma. AND HE'S COMING TO GET YOU, BARBARA! he's the boogeyman! the state is terrified of him! he is their own nightmare made real - not just an ishbalan that fights back, which would be one thing - which could easily be crushed in war - but a walking dead man, a zombie, the corpse of his own people who is not permitted to die until he has exacted his revenge. his RIGHTEOUS revenge! his revenge he DESERVES! the revenge the narrative paints, at the end of the day, as something noble and triumphant. scar! who in any other world would be called a terrorist! every time i think about it too much i really am shocked at how explicitly the show places itself on his side.

it's just crazy to me that this media from 2003 (TWO THOUSAND THREE!) refuses to engage in "look at this evil scary brown man; this is why we need to oppress the evil scary brown people, because one of them will attack us" and rather says, "oppression has CREATED this creature, and now he's fighting back." he's frankenstein's monster, created by the state! and that is exactly what imperialist policy in the global south does; it creates its own justification for violence. scar interrupts that cycle. he starts off as a dead man walking, and then slowly the audience begins to understand him as a person - as a priest, as a brother, as an injured human being in pain. as an angel of vengeance!

anyway fma03 did it better!

[nootcatt]

TGCF and the Literary Tropes

Okay so this is a long text post, but its something I've been through and discussing a lot.

I’ve mentioned this before, but let me say it more clearly: in my opinion, there’s no such thing as being “doomed by the narrative” in Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF) by MXTX. It’s an important distinction because it sets MXTX’s storytelling apart from other narratives where characters are often victims of fate with no real agency. MXTX understands probability, and does not operate by the ‘but what if!’.

For those unfamiliar with the term, “doomed by the narrative” refers to a trope where a character’s fate is sealed or predetermined by the structure of the story itself. Essentially, it means that no matter what the character does—regardless of their actions, intentions, or desires—the plot is already designed to lead them toward an inevitable downfall, failure, or tragic end. It’s a form of narrative determinism, where the story traps a character in an inescapable fate. This idea is commonly seen in tragedies or stories centered around themes of fate and destiny, where even the audience often feels that sense of looming disaster, even if the character does not.

While TGCF is a novel rich with themes of fate and destiny, it doesn’t employ the “doomed by the narrative” trope. Instead, the story revolves around other different ideas, such as “you reap what you sow.” In TGCF, the characters—especially the gods—face the consequences of their own actions. From the Banyue Arc to the final arc, we consistently see this pattern. No character suffers without reason, and no fate is forced upon them by the structure of the story itself. Their actions, choices, and motivations directly shape their outcomes.

In TGCF, fate is not something manipulated by MXTX to move the plot forward or force a tragic conclusion. She doesn’t kill off characters just because it serves the story or because she’s trying to make a point about destiny. Instead, fate in TGCF functions more like an ecosystem—a natural cycle where actions have consequences. It’s a world where what goes around comes around, and every character is accountable for the decisions they make.

Consider the Blackwater Arc (FengShui Di Arc) as an example. Many have discussed this before, so it’s not something you have never come across. It’s a key moment in understanding how fate operates in TGCF. Shi Wudu is faced with an impossible moral dilemma, a classic “trolley problem.” He has to choose between sacrificing the life of a stranger and their family or allowing his beloved younger brother, Shi Qingxuan, to die a death more tragic than anyone can imagine. For Shi Wudu, this is not a simple decision; he has dedicated his entire life to protecting his brother. Older brothers are like parents, to their younger siblings. Shi Wudu does not regret making the decision he did. In the end, he makes the choice to switch the tracks, saving his brother at the cost of another’s life and family.

As the arc unfolds, we see that Shi Wudu must also face the consequences of his decision. He is driven mad by the end of the arc, and his punishment is both brutal and symbolic—his head is ripped off, an echo of the price he paid for his brother’s safety. Shi Wudu made a choice that could be viewed as understandable or even noble, but he also committed a grave wrong. And in the world of TGCF, he reaps what he sowed. Even in his final moments, He Xuan gives Shi Wudu a choice, he can still reverse the tracks and fix it, or die at the hands of the person he chose over him, and Shi Wudu stands by his decision, telling Shi Qingxuan, “Gege will go ahead and wait for you.” He does not regret his sacrifice. He is killed for it. His end is a form of cosmic justice. Despite the tragedy, there’s no sense that he was doomed from the start—his downfall is the direct result of his own actions.

This principle also applies to He Xuan. “But He Xuan suffered so much; he deserved his revenge.” That’s the point. He Xuan’s story is not one of a man doomed by fate, but rather a man consumed by revenge. He Xuan, who endured unimaginable suffering and betrayal, chose to devote his existence to vengeance. He had already avenged his suffering by killing the people responsible—he became a Ghost King, devoured the Jinx Demon, and infiltrated heaven. He gained power, status, and acceptance among the Heavenly Officials. Shi Wudu changed his fate so that he could no longer ascend? Here he is, a god (and an elemental god, instead of a civil god like he would have been if his fate hadn’t been switched). He could have lived peacefully, yet his obsession with revenge defined every move he made.

Even when He Xuan had achieved everything he should have wanted—status, wealth, respect—he couldn’t let go. His fixation on vengeance led him to destroy the very peace he could have had. By the end of the arc, when Shi Wudu asks if he’s happy, He Xuan’s answer is a hollow “yes,” fueled by the sight of Shi Wudu’s suffering. But as Shi Wudu points out, this revenge has changed nothing. Shi Qingxuan, despite the tragedies, had lived a better, fuller life than He Xuan. Shi Wudu’s words break He Xuan, driving him into a final fit of rage where he decapitates Shi Wudu and refuses to let Shi Qingxuan die, just to prevent the brothers from reuniting in death. What does he get in the end? Nothing, but the head of Shi Wudu and a life time of brooding in the nether water manor.This act of spite is not the work of a man doomed by narrative fate—it’s the result of He Xuan’s choices, driven by his inability to let go of vengeance.

In conclusion, TGCF does not operate on the idea that its characters are “doomed by the narrative.” MXTX creates a world where actions have consequences, where fate is shaped by the decisions characters make, and where justice—whether deserved or tragic—is always a direct result of their choices. The characters in TGCF are not trapped by an unavoidable destiny but by the weight of their own actions. It’s a powerful form of storytelling that places responsibility on the characters themselves, rather than the structure of the story.

[pineberrie]

Okay So I said I was writing a character essay on Rick Prime so I wrote this 1000 word essay on why I think that Prime knew that he was eventually going to become C-137's Nemesis and how meeting C-137 would eventually lead to his death. (Warning: long ass essay under the cut-- I mean it man it's huge.)

So how I see it, Prime was the original Rick. He was the first to invite portal travel. We’re hinted this many different times when Prime mentions how he and C-137 were the only two to invent portal travel and in my delusional mind I believe Prime eventually went on to experience everything and seeing a cycle that would always be fulfilled. His cycle. One that unless he partook in it, he would succumb to it.

I think that its possible he even saw the end of this cycle having to be destroyed by another version of himself, No matter what. That he either become the Rick that kills Diane, does everything with in the infinite or is killed by a Rick who does. That’s why he was traveling the multiverse offering portal travel to other Ricks, because he knew eventually if he didn’t another Rick would. And that’s why when he met C-137 he mentions that “Rick’s don’t say no this”. Prime knew that as his cycle continues eventually he'd meet a version of himself that wouldn't accept. There would be a version of himself that would reject him and become the one to end his cycle. That's why Prime's so instantly defensive. I see their meeting as a catalyst for Prime and he knew from the start that C-137 was going to be the beginning to his end.

Reasons why I think this:

There a lot of curious things that Prime does, mainly how he had the multiverse bomb on hand to kill Diane. If we go with Rick’s memories being accurate then Prime killed her in the same day as meeting C-137— and I think Prime already knew he was going to have to kill her one day in order to initiate the start of C-137's beginning as he’s eventual killer.

Prime is also strangely hesitant in his actions. He starts removing people the second C-137 arrived and no sooner (even if it’s possible to think that Prime already had the second version of the bomb ready for an unknown amount of time?) He also decides to do it in the slowest, lest damaging way possible. I know some may argue that Prime is just cruel, that he wanted to torment C-137 by picking slow mobius because starting off small would hurt more-- but I see it as Prime doing the bare minimum.

He knew how it would all end. There was no reason to start with Beth, Morty or Summer because that was never his plan. He knew that once C-137 got there he was going to die, that Rick would get his revenge and be the end to Prime’s cycle. Don't get me wrong I don't believe that Prime was doing any of this out of respect or good will, I truly believe it was because he simply had no choice. The only way he could break his cycle and finally move past doing everything was to create a Rick who could kill him.

He show cases this by stalling a lot as well: When he first thinks he's going to kill Morty I believe he was waiting for C-137 to get up. He makes a big display about asking Morty if they should just get it done, when he could clearly have just killed him. (I don't believe Prime planned for Evil Morty to be there but that's another thing I will touch on laterrr.) He also stalls HEAVY after he’s captured by Evil Morty even breaking his code of conduct by asking evil Morty if he wants to partner up-- which I believe was a play to see if he could steer things back to C-137 killing him. (Possibly becuase Evil Morty couldn’t kill him in a way that would end his cycle.)

Again, if he really wanted to just strip C-137 of everything, why wait? Why stall? Why build so much elaborate shit just for one person? Because Prime is the epitome of a Nemesis and knew that.

Originally where we get the term Nemesis is from the Greek goddess of retribution. Her name translated means 'She who deals out/ She who distributes'. She was often revered as a goddess of Justice, as it was her job to measure how much fortune an individual was allowed to have. So when someones fortune was too great it was her who would come down and humble your ass to remind you how human you are. And I believe that's what Prime saw in himself once he reached a high enough level and why when he says: "You would have become me. I just walked into your garage before walked into mine." He knew someone was going to have to do it. He was going to have to listed as C-137's Nemesis. Not because of fate or uncontrollable circumstances but because he was first and eventually someone was going to have to spur on those sequences of events. (also a possible warning to C-137 that he may walk his path one day)

Now I know a lot of people will see my post and say "well then why did he have so many back ups? Why would he go through the trouble of making all these traps for other Ricks if he knew that C-137 was his last goal?" Well to that I say it was all part of it! Prime knew that after Diane was killed her death wouldn't just jump start his end and C-137's beginning but also involve an impossible amount of other events. So he had to be extremely coordinated, to make sure none of the other versions of himself were entertained/deterred while trying to find him.

Now for my thoughts on Evil Morty. I think something about this episode is the wonderful parallel between Ricks and Mortys. We’ve seen in rickmurai jack that Evil Morty tries to show Morty Prime their cycle, that through the central finite curve they are bound infiantly to Rick and breed for forgiving him and Evil Morty being Morty Primes Nemesis’ is such a wonderful example of the concept. Because originally It wasn’t about destroying your Nemesis, but sometimes accepting them and living despite them.

I believe in both episodes (Rickumari Jack and solaricks) were to show case how both C-137 and Morty prime accept being in their cycles, and the different ways one can ‘kill’ their nemesis. With Morty Prime, he outwardly rejects the breaking of his mortal code and character that is handed to him by Evil Morty and chooses by his own hand to stay in his cycle, with Rick. Then in (episode name) Prime’s monologue is his version of breaking Rick’s character and moral code. He tells C-137 basically this had to happen, if it wasn’t for me you would have been me, and Rick rejects it outwardly by killing prime and staying in his cycle. That's why it hits so hard when Evil Morty looks to Rick and says “how does it feel? Exactly the same?” because it is. It will continue to be the same, because Rick couldn’t move on. Rick couldn’t choose anything else.

Side note: That’s also why I believe Evil Morty decided to bring Rick into the room where he’s holding Rick prime. I feel like Evil Morty already could see what was happening and knew for C-137’s cycle to continue Prime was going to have to die by C-137’s hands. Evil Morty already states earlier in the episode that he doesn’t care about catching Prime, or anything until the weapon is mentioned. So I see it as a small nod to Evil Morty knowing some things just have to happen.

Anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk-- I know maybe this theory has a shit ton of holes but It's a bug in my brain that will never stop chewing. Prime I believe you deserved better. The end.

[lesfir]

I start thinking when a post starts with “I don't understand why people, do say that” and then “you have to admit, accept”. Does the author of the post really want to understand other people's experiences and why they feel that way? No. Astarion talks the whole game about power and how important it is to have it in the world. Where you can be made a slave, killed - yes, important. The other thing is that Astarion is prone to brutal power, evil power. Uh, no, I don't care or his first approval wouldn't have amused me, it would have frightened me. He was always like that. Astarion gave harsh sentences, he didn't believe in mercy, he wasn't even fair, a magistrate doesn't get killed for nothing, he considered “trouble makers” to be barbarians. It's in the game. His slavery, Cazador reinforced this already cynical picture of the world. Honestly, had his living heart been gentle and kind, before or when he met Tav? A narcissistic, handsome, noble magistrate with the power, High Elf from the Upper City of Baldur's Gate. It's a shame, but there are evil, immoral characters.

Drugs and walking again like you used to are different things. The ritual frees from the downside of vampirism:

Sunshine, complete freedom of movement.

Free from the torment of hunger.

Once again the heart that was taken from him is alive, all sensations and feelings are available.

These are objective, reasonable goods.

The price is diabolical, immoral, selfish - Evil ending. What's best for Astarion is a matter of debate. I think both are valid, the other simply makes him a better person morally. We can pretend Astarion is driven by trauma and fear - only it's no thoughts, no judgment, there's nothing that makes cynical sense, nothing. Just a traumatized Nightstar princess who needs to be shown the way of the light and heal. And if you don't, the princess becomes a pumpkin. I personally don't believe that the “cycle of violence and terror” as written in the game, in the world of Faerûn can be broken. I don't intend to, I don't see it in Astarion either. Spawn with 7k, kill a couple of dwarves, there'll be revenge. Spawn will be ordered to kill the not “right person” to make him a scapegoat - massacre.

Honestly, narcissist, manipulative, with huge trauma from slavery, power-hungry, thinks power is fun, bloodthirsty, cynical.

The measuring stick of what is toxic, abusive and controlling relationships clearly already transitioning to reality and to real morality only begins to attach to Astarion after the Ascension. Because if it worked initially, Astarion can't be touched, he's dangerous. To heal such a man is a danger and a fairy tale. No one cares. But the chains and the tragedy of AA's abusive behavior, that's what it's all about. A tale of the healing of a manipulative vampire narcissist and the tragedy of fucked up, that's the way it should be. ... UA will go crazy with missed opportunities when his arm gets cut off in battle and killed Tav. As he already tried in the game, unlike AA without consent.

And now for the romance. The juiciest part. If that's the reason why this one is so bad, a tragic ending that everyone should accept and cry over.

I think the answer is this. Summation of the Ending and Epilogue. Tav who doesn't like this romance and feels herself in the clutches of a monster - 3 lines. Tav who enjoys\okay the decadence with Astarion - 10 lines.

Player: Let's see everything, now I'm free of my Father! I want to travel the world. REALLY_DARK_URGE Player: I want to see the world, with you at my side. ORI_Astarion_State_GoingToTravel Player: I want to live forever. Make me a vampire. ORI_Astarion_Event_TurnIntoSpawn = False Player: I want to sit on your lap, sipping blood from a chalice, ruling the Gate from our foul throne. REALLY_DARK_URGE Player: We'll start with Baldur's Gate - Let's make this city ours. ORI_Astarion_State_TakeBaldursGateTogether Player: Let's put our enemies to the sword! ORI_Astarion_State_BloodyStruggle

They look like lines for Evil Win and they are.

Player: True. We are spectacular, after all. Player: It is wonderful. I'm glad I get to share this with you. Player: None would dare, my love. Player: I'm sorry I kind of disappeared. I didn't mean to leave you like that.

And the lines for Original Karlach are OзО..

It's fantasy man, if you're looking for tragedy you'll find it everywhere, don't stop others from playing the fairy tale that you're playing, too. Enjoy your catharsis, don't touch the other catharsis. ta-ta line of ascended, spawn and pre-ritual mixed together

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Hi! Hope you're well. I had an idea for you: what about a Charles Dickens "Christmas Carol" AU? With maybe Astarion as Scrooge and Evie as Cratchitt? Or a caroling orphan?

Okay, this is tricky because there are so many different ways you can go with this. I'm just gonna break down the two that came to mind. One being more in keeping with Dickens and one playing more fast and loose, simply holding onto the whole past, present and future thing.

Astarion x Evie (Ace!Tav) Masterlist

Ghost of Past, Present and Future with Ascending Astarion

Cazador is defeated and Astarion is able to convince Evie/Tav to help him Ascend; he is holding the staff in his hand, but before he can begin the ritual he is surrounded by three spirits of the past, present and future

All of the vision happen within a fraction of a second before he starts to ritual

The spirit of the past shows the pain of his past, the faces of all those he doomed and who he will now destroy for his own gain, possibly even show him Cazador's past on how he became a vampire and the torture his master inflicted on him

It doesn't excuse Cazador's actions, emphasizing the cycle of abuse and Astarion's part in it if he goes forward with this

The spirit of the present shows him Evie/Tav, how afraid she truly is and how helping him wasn't out of love, but fear, fear he too is acting upon

Emphasizes Evie/Tav's POV on the whole situation and how afraid they are of losing him and how much they love him for who his is now

The spirit of the future then shows him his Ascended form a full century in the future

He has everything, wealth, power, a command over armies and a city that fears him

He can walk in the sun and transform into mist, he can see himself in a mirror and feast to his heart's content

But then he realizes, he can't find Evie/Tav any where

The spirit leads him through the palace, he can smell blood and sees how the servants cower even when alone

He's led up a tower he doesn't recognize, higher than any in the palace and enforced with impenetrable stone

A single door greets him, one the spirit gestures him to pass through

It opens to a room, ornate in decoration and illuminated in candle light; all the windows are shuttered closed and locked so not a hint of sunlight can get through

In the center of the room he finds Evie/Tav sitting on the edge of a large four poster bed

They're dressed in the finest silks and jewelry, their skin a pale, but flawless, and they sit as still as a statue

His stomach twists at the sight, there is no life behind their eyes just a blank stare forever forward

He reaches out to touch her, but his hands passes through her like air

It's then the door unlocks and Astarion gets to see himself fully for the first time

Ascended Astarion greets Evie/Tav and Evie/Tav slips on a smile that Astarion can see doesn't meet her eyes

Astarion watches himself speak with Evie/Tav and feels the need to tear his reflect's hand away from her

It's not so much what he says, as how he says it; there is an ownership to his tone and touch Astarion recognizes, he knows his future self doesn't really love Evie/Tav, how could he love somebody he sees as an object

And then there's Evie/Tav; they're afraid, they're so clearly afraid, but they're too broken to leave

They barely speak, their voice hoarse from disuse, a far cry from the smooth tones that brought him so much joy and comfort

He never considered himself the hero type, he wasn't the one to rescue the princess in the tower, but seeing this, he thinks he might

He wants to deny it, he would never treat his love this way, he just wanted to keep them safe, both of them, but isn't that what his reflection is doing?

Locks on the windows to keep the sunlight from accidentally burning them, a high tower as opposed to a basement so when the night comes they can see the sky, no threat from enemies coming to take them away or kill them in revenge, no lecherous eyes to pluck out while still providing them luxury and comfort

His stomach turns as he realizes just how easily he could let this happen

He's brought back into his body and at the last second throws the staff away

Cazador mocks him for being too weak to take the power when it was right in the palm of his hand

Astarion counters that he is more than what Cazador made him and kills the man, ending the ritual before it could really begin

Evie/Tav is by his side the next moment and he weeps

He later tells them of his vision, of what he saw their future being

Evie/Tav confesses that they acted out of fear as well and they don't want their future to be dictated by it either

They're both looking ahead assured and braver than before

A Christmas Carol AU

This one is more in keeping with Dickens so no Cazador, Astarion is just a standard lazy magistrate who got the position through nepotism and is just relaxing in a relatively cushy government potion

Evie/Tav is still a bard and one day brought in to whatever the Baldur's Gate equivalent is to small claims court over some petty thievery

Astarion finds her guilty without really looking at the case, causing her to have to pay a fine she does not have the money for

Later Astarion sees her again and, feeling a rare moment of remorse, offers for Evie/Tav to play for him and some of the other elites of Baldur's Gate at a holiday party the next day

Evie/Tav cannot believe the audacity of this man "offering" her a job to pay off the debt he inflicted on her

She then throws it all back in his face telling him she's not going to be his little side project to temporarily sooth his guilty conscious only to undoubtedly throw her away the second he gets bored, so fuck off

They part ways and Astarion is effected by her words more than he cares to admit

Then, that night, he's visited by the spirits of past, present and future

His past would obviously contain a lot less torture in this version, but I maintain my head-canon that his parents aren't alive at this point, or at least so distant from him he doesn't have much of a relationship with them

His childhood would consist of a lot of lonely days that taught him that money and influence was the only way to maintain love and affection

I'd also include Sebastian as the Belle in this backstory; he and Astarion were in love, but Astarion's pettiness and ambition in maintaining his position eventually drove them apart

The present would show the next day where the holiday celebrations are under way

Astarion gets good look at his own party and sees it for the hollow thing that it is; a bunch of lazy bureaucrats and their minor petty rivalries

We still gotta give him a Bob Cratchitt, so we get a loot an his secretary and how their life is affected by Astarion's banal cruelties

Maybe Rolan? I don't think any of the party members would fit this very well

Either way, keeping those same lessons

He then gets unexpectedly taken to the lower city where Evie/Tav is playing at a local tavern

She's good, very good if he's being honest surrounded by a comradery he can't say he's ever felt before

Evie/Tav talks about the verdict to a friend and is unsure how she's going to get the money

Her friends assure her she doesn't have to worry about that now, something will come up, it always does, besides it's the holidays, extra performance and extra cash, they'll be loaded in no time

The future is a little trickier since being and elf he can't die, so ending up dead and utterly alone I don't think would work

I think he would have to find himself stuck in the same place, still alone, still with nothing truly his own and surrounded by people who would be just as happy to see him leave as to see him stay

I think then he'd have to be taken a tour of all the lives he did effect, the people not in his circle yet he still dictated the lives of and see what petty misery he spread for no good reason before finally landing on Evie/Tav

They're in debt, having had to go to the thieves guild for the money in the end

Instead of being the great musician Astarion saw they clearly could be, they're just as stuck as he is just older and working themselves to the bone just to keep their head above water

As tempting as it is to put the blame on Evie/Tav for not taking him up on his offer, he knows it's a poor excuse, he would have done exactly as they said and toss them aside and he had done so many other times

He then wakes up the next day with a new perspective and goes about making things right and trying to be a kinder, more empathetic person

[thekidthesuperkid]

Just finished watching the bastard son & the devil himself. Gonna try and write out my thoughts about it, sorry if it's a lot of nonsensical rambling.

What really got my attention about the show is the cycles of violence and abuse and the dynamics of war and oppression that were shown in the show. They don't talk about how the war between the Fairbornes and the Blood witches started. They don't talk about what the original reasons are for everything the two sides do. What the show does focus on is the actions they continue to take in the present and the real results of those actions as opposed to the imagined goals.

Nathan grows up being told he has something evil in him, grows up being treated with suspicion and fear and hatred all because of what his father had done. He grows to fear his own power and even his own emotions for the evil he believes they stem from. But his father was never a devil. His father killed countless Fairbornes, the most well known being at the Peace Massacre. He had tried to arrange peace talks but the terms the Fairbornes proposed were a barely-disguised means for what was basically cultural genocide of the Blood Witches. Marcus was getting revenge on endless amounts of horror inflicted on his people by the Fairborne council. And by doing so the Fairbornes gained a new reason to demonize the Blood witches. This was not Marcus's fault, the atrocities committed by the Fairbornes are entirely on their own heads. Marcus is not a "perfect victim", he attacks the people who attacked him, he's angry and violent and he left Nathan and his mother, but the show seems to make it pretty clear that he's not responsible for what the Fairbornes did in retaliation. I'm glad they did that and I'm glad they didn't make him out to be the bad guy just for fighting back, and at the same time I also like the way they handled showing the collateral of that violence through Ceelia. Ceelia was a survivor of Marcus's attack at Wolfhagen, she was a child and she was scared and she grew up and spent her life fighting the Blood witches. And she was one of the people treating Nathan with fear and suspicion. When she trained him she was violent and angry and harsh. She was abusive, to put it bluntly, and it was because of what Nathan represented. He reminded her of Marcus. She believed that she and the Fairbornes were in the right and were good and just and righteous and that they were justified in what they were doing to the Bloods. Except she saw that she was wrong, the basis for her beliefs was removed and she realized Soul was exactly what the Fairbornes claimed to be fighting against and she changes directions. As the show progresses, we see that instead of drawing from the hatred of the Hunters and the Fairborne, she switches to drawing from her own personal strength, her empathy and the people she loved and the confidence and convictions she'd built herself. She recognized Soul for what he was and she changed. This is really great when contrasted with Soul's story. Because he started out a survivor hiding scared in a closet like Ceelia. But he never had an ability to recognize when his perspective was wrong. Ceelia saw that the war was motivated by hate and fear and bigotry, and that going along with it only fed into that. Soul only saw that he needed to be more like Marcus to win the war, without ever seeing Marcus's reasons. So he went to greater and more horrific lengths to do what Marcus did, and became worse than Marcus had ever been. He became exactly the monster the Fairbornes thought of Marcus as. He was actively seeking to kill and destroy Blood witches and the collateral his mission caused was pretty clearly caused knowingly and intentionally.

There is also something to be said about Jessica and how she was so angry about a supposed devil killing her mother and father but ended up helping the real wolf and the real culprit for her mother's death. She is a uniquely horrifying character because it's so easy to understand why she became that way. Her mother's death was so horrible for her as a small child and she did everything possible in her power to fight back against that, but the only target and the only action within her reach was to abuse her brother, and she just never grew out of that pattern. I feel sorry for her just as much as I dislike her.

Marcus and Nathan's stories are also really interesting in comparison to each other. Nathan was bullied for being the son of Marcus and for potentially being a blood witch but because of also being treated like his anger made him evil he tried to suppress it. Of course because repression doesn't work long term and because bullying naturally makes people angry, Nathan lost control and attacked the people who had been hurting him, which the Fairbornes then used as proof that Nathan was dangerous. Marcus's story mirrors that in several ways. Marcus spends the rest of his life fighting and killing Fairbornes, mainly in revenge. Nathan becomes violent on only a handful of occasions, mostly in reaction to an injustice. He says after trying to kill Ceelia after Odette dies that there have to be consequences even though Ceelia wasn't the cause of Odette dying. Marcus seems to have the same view but slightly more extreme, but in contrast to his father, Nathan has people he loves that pull him back. Annalise repeatedly stops Nathan from getting consumed by his anger. When Nathan does end up killing someone, it's because he believed Kieran is going to attack Gabriel when he was actually trying to help, and Nathan is horrified by Kieran dying. What's also interesting is that Marcus left Nathan and his mother because he believed it would make them safer, and Nathan also tried to prevent Gabriel from coming with him to Wolfhagen, but Marcus never had contact with his family again while Gabriel came back. And throughout the show, Annalise repeatedly reminds Nathan that he is not his father, and Nathan's grandmother also tells him it doesn't matter if a person is Blood or Fairborne. Marcus sent Nathan alone to kill Soul and told him it was a chance to know who he was, but in the end it was Gabriel and Annalise that helped defeat him, with Annalise that killed him. There are repeated instances of people breaking the cycle of violence and oppression with Annalise killing her father and learning about the Blood's side of the story, with Ceelia breaking away from Soul, with Haley falling in love with Marcus and having a child together and not caring about Blood vs Fairborne, and with Nathan not choosing the path of his father.

Soul is great as a bad guy, he literally did so much trying to help the "his own blood will kill the wolf" prophecy get fulfilled that he became the wolf the prophecy was talking about.

What was shown of Gabriel's backstory is fascinating to me, Mercury's abuse and his response to it is shown in a way that feels really accurate. He struggles to get away from her and escape her control, but it seems like he might not have genuinely defied her until Nathan was in danger. There were others like him too, both before and after him. The one before him didn't do anything to help him, and he doesn't seem to have had much contact with the ones after him, but when he finally escapes for Nathan, he also promises to help the other boy get out, which is another way of breaking a cycle although it's not really connected to the main storylines of the show. It seems like the show could have done a lot with Gabriel's story if it had had more time to expand it.

The romance was great also, I hate love triangles so much and am always saying they should just be poly relationships and this show did that! Literally everything I've ever wanted.

TLDR: came for the poly queer relationship, stayed for the themes of cycles of violence and abuse. Also characters who break the cycles <3

[anxiety-elemental-kay]

TriMax Vol. 2 and Wolfwood

First want to shout out to everyone participating in the book club!! I’m getting so much more out of this reread of TriMax, thanks to listening to everyone’s thoughts as we read along! I’m seeing things in a new light and getting details I never spotted before! I’m so grateful we get to dissect such a meaty story and characters together, because there’s so much and so many legit ways to interpret things! We love us all some deep space planet future gun LITERATURE around here!

Okay, now, I promised to have some actual THOUGHTS, and now just share funny panels, so here’s something that stood out to me: watching Wolfwood’s arc unfold and his growing understanding of who Vash is and what his goals are.

In volume 2 of Trigun, Wolfwood felt like a character whose story got truncated by the manga being dropped by the publisher. He clearly had a backstory and was going to play an important role, but Shenanigans meant whatever those original plans were didn't pan out. So instead we hit TriMax Vol1 and this relative stranger is the one who pulls Vash out of retirement. It’s pretty strange, and it must be extra strange if you’ve never seen either anime adaptation, which both expand on Vash and Wolfwood’s interactions and relationships before Vash hits his Eriks era. In that case it makes more sense for Wolfwood to go after Vash, by then an old friend, but I’m not going to give TriMax too much of a hard time, since, again, publishing Fuckery. And really it’s not handled poorly or anything, it’s just strange.

Anyway, Wolfwood’s role in Vol1 seems to be as an external force to push Vash along when he’d Rather Not, and to serve as a contrast/dissenting voice against Vash’s optimism and philosophy. See the family feud/hostage taking in particular. Wolfwood constantly argues that Vash is naive or trying to save everyone, and selfish for trying to not get his hands dirty. Given what Wolfwood (and the reader) know about Vash at this point, it’s an understandable conclusion to make. Even when his adoptive home and family were in danger, Vash didn’t do anything to stop the violence, to the point of trying to downplay the sexual harassment of a child. Vash didn’t push back against the bandits until Wolfwood pushed him. Why would Wolfwood believe Vash is anything other than a holier-than-thou prick who is too cowardly to make the kinds of choices Wolfwood’s had to make? (And though we didn’t know what those were at the time, Wolfwood clearly spoke from experience.)

Then we have Vash intervene in the family feud/hostage crisis, with his new red coat and everything. He uses his reputation to clear out the civilians, then his uncanny abilities to take out most of the hostiles without killing them, until he is confronted with the grieving father about to kill his daughter’s murderer. This is *exactly* the kind of situation Wolfwood warned him about, about family willing to take up violence if their loved ones are hurt, about having to make a deadly choice and become the devil. And we see Vash struggle! He empathizes with the father’s desire for revenge, directly mirrored against Vash’s own grief over Rem and hatred of his brother! But he chooses to intervene anyway, choosing not to beg for the murderer’s life, but for the father to not commit a terrible crime. In the end no one dies, and by not continuing the cycle of violence that led to his daughter’s death, the father is also spared. Vash found another way out.

This is the first time Wolfwood witnessed a demonstration of Vash’s philosophy in practice, proof that it’s about more than just ‘killing is wrong’, it’s also about empathy, and stopping future violence before it an happen.

Which brings us to Vol.2, where we really start to understand more about Wolfwood.

We know he’s a Gung-Ho-Gun, and we know he witnessed the Fifth Moon for himself, so the audience knows why he knows about Knives, and can guess why he’s helping Vash (since their goal is now ‘eternal suffering’). We know he doesn’t particularly want to be there, so what brought him here? He dreams of the kids at the orphanage he’s referenced before, begging their big brother to hold him, only for Wolfwood to smile sadly, then hold up his bloody hands and say he has no right to hug them anymore.

And then after Wolfwood kills Rai-dei, we get one of the most stunning panels in the manga.

And by stunning I do mean that literally. Every time I’ve read this volume, I have to stop for a moment when I hit this page. Others have talked about its composition in detail, so I won’t dig too much into it here. This is such a pivotal scene for both characters, their understandings of each other, and as a setup for Future Stuff.

Wolfwood has just seen Vash do something stupid and naive AGAIN, but turning his back to Rai-dei, who was about to attack Vash again. Wolfwood killed Rai-dei to protect Vash, then Vash lashed out in anger, saying he wasn’t going to go through with the attack. Probably. Wolfwood, fucking pissed about all this, demands Vash shoot him if he thinks what Wolfwood did was wrong. Wolfwood believes that Vash needs to dirty his hands, to become a demon (like Wolfwood has) in order to save people, and anything else is childish nonsense. In this moment he says he’s willing to give up his life if that means Vash would become the kind of person Wolfwood believes he has to be.

Then Vash plays his reverse uno, saying that he sees Wolfwood as the coward in this moment, for valuing his life so little, for being so ready to give up hope and toss his own life away. He sees Wolfwood has someone who was forced to play a role he never wanted, to become someone he didn’t want to be.

Vash reads Wolfwood like a book, and it disarms the situation. (Empathy again plays a role in ending a violent conflict!)

We already got a sense that Wolfwood is someone who loves very deeply, we saw that in the dream with the orphans. We see in that same dream that he’s someone who’s willing to bloody his hands, and hates himself for it. The next chapter opens with a flashback of child Wolfwood being shot for the first time, and as he suffers horrific pain, says that he thinks for the first time (!!!) that he didn’t want to die.

We see next chapter that this conflict gets under Wolfwood’s skin, he’s still thinking about it, even thinking that Vash putting others’ live above his own “makes me sick”. The next time we see them talk about ethics is on the way to Vash’s home while they’re in the cable car, Wolfwood reiterating that he has to make the choices he does because he has (human) limits. Then Vash admits that he doesn’t know if his way is the right one! In a moment of vulnerability we haven’t seen until now, Vash shares his doubts about his philosophy. In response, Wolfwood says nothing. He doesn’t take the moment to pry open the crack in the armor Vash shows him, just listens.

In this volume we’re starting to see the shape of Wolfwood’s story arc, of his conflict with Vash, and a growing understanding between them. I won’t say more to avoid story spoilers, but this volume does such a good job of planting the seeds of future arcs for both characters, with the “Shoot” scene in particular coming back in a big way more than once.

What I love LOVE about Trigun is that it’s not interested in determining who is morally superior, because moral absolutes do not exist. The narrative doesn’t put down Wolfwood’s philosophy, and though we see Vash succeed in his efforts to save people without loss of life, we see him fail just as often, if not more. Trigun invites us to understand why these people believe the world works a certain way, and how those ideas clash with reality. This is something that becomes much stronger later, we’re still very early in the story, but it’s something to keep in mind going forward.

One last thing to note, though it’s not as strong a thread in this volume, is that alongside Wolfwood’s growing understanding of Vash, is his growing fear of his inhumanity. We know Wolfwood witnessed the Fifth Moon, and that’s one thing, but we know from Wolfwood’s internal thoughts that Vash being inhuman is something that’s always on his mind, and always plays a factor when they’re arguing. To Wolfwood it’s the thing that separates them as people, Wolfwood has human limits, and Vash doesn’t, and that’s the only reason Vash can believe  and behave the way he does. (Is he right? That’s a question for the future). This is also the chapter where he gets a closer look at Vash’s power, where he sees Vash CRY BLOOD, and then a wave of darkness paralyzes Wolfwood, and Vash emits some kind of blast or wave that doesn’t hurt or damage anything, but frightens both Wolfwood and Leonof. Again, this is a bigger factor later, but it’s worth remembering that Wolfwood is tackling his perception of Vash as monstrous and dangerous alongside his more emotional understanding of who Vash is.

That’s all for now. That’s a lot of words and I don’t have the energy to go back and edit this, so if you see typos, no you didn’t.

[amphiptere-art]

*Eclipse walks up a hill. Ominously looking around. Finally looking towards the horizon and the sunset. Looking behind him to see the moon rise. A scowl growing on his face. Clenching his fists. Starting to grumble to himself.*

Eclipse: What did I do to deserve this. Wandering around endlessly looking for something. Anyone. Just to figure out why I'm alive. Why am I alive. For some universes big joke!

*Eclipse screams at the sunset. Hands raising to cover his face. Almost pulling on his rays.*

Eclipse: Hahaha. Brought back over and over and over again just to be some villain. For what? To get revenge on a dead Moon! The original me had a reason. The backup me was just trying to finish the previous ones work. What am I supposed to do?! We got what we wanted. That want is gone now. All that's left is to get revenge on the moon. Which we've already done over and over! We had a chance to kill him, and we didn't. Why couldn't I just say dead!

*Eclipse collapses on the ground. Pulling on his rays. A sad scowl on his face. Clearly trying to not cry and stay angry.*

Eclipse: Why am I alive! Why! Is this some sort of purgatory punishment!? Am I only being brought back so I can fail again! I know what I did to Sun was wrong. I know I shouldn't have hurt lunar. I didn't know what else to do though! He abandoned me! I spent a year locked up in somebody's head. Who wouldn't be angry! I wanted him to pay! I wanted to destroy the life he left me for. I hurt sun so I could get back at it. And then I hurt lunar cuz I didn't want to let go! I wanted Moon to pay forever! I shouldn't have done it! I shouldn't have hurt him. Backup shouldn't have gotten revenge for the original. I don't even know if he knew what he was doing at that point.

*Eclipse brings up his knees and buries his face. Hands pulling and covering his rays.*

Eclipse: I haven't done anything. Not really. I don't even know if backup did anything more than kill lunar. Original did the rest. Original did everything and we're paying for it. All I did was kidnap ruin and lay some threats. All I know is what I remember. I didn't do anything! Yet I'm the one who pays! I'm again locked up because of moon. I'm being tormented all over again because of moon. Why do people side with him! Do they not know what he did! The cycle is just repeating. I'm only resentful because other versions of me are resentful. I don't have a reason to, but this is a good goddamn reason! Death would be better than this!

*Eclipse starts to sob. Unable to speak. Only repeating the he didn't do anything. Why is he paying for others. Why is the moon like this. Interrupted by a ringing phone.*

Moon: Hey bitch get your ass over here.

*Eclipse doesn't answer. Trying to compose himself. Letting out an audible shutter as he tries to breathe.*

Moon: Oh what. Did I catch you crying? Really? What a joke. Boohoo for you, You got what was coming. Now move!

*Eclipse doesn't move. Attempting to wipe tears.*

Moon: I said get up jackass! If you don't cooperate I will kill you! I don't care about whatever the fuck you're going through. You're now under my thumb, and I'm not going to give a shit! Get over here, Now!

*Eclipse finally stumbles up. Finally answering.*

Eclipse: I'm coming.

Moon: Finally! I don't need you being a cry baby stopping with our search. Get over here and be quick. I'll kill you otherwise.

*Moon hangs up the call. Eclipse turns around and looks towards the rising moon. Giving a sorrowful angry glance towards it before walking off.*