#dave WILL be the one paying for it tho

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

I need y'all to pray hard.

I used the stove yesterday around 5 PM. I used it to make dinner. Bethy and Dave were at the races cuz someone they knew paid for them to go. It was just mom and I and we were too hot to want something that took too long. The stove was fine.

They got back at 11:12 PM. Dave whined about being hungry. He stayed up for 2 additional hours and it was annoying af.

We had leftover lasagna AND pork roast. Plus, all sorts of quick things to make. He made a big fuss about having to cook himself dinner. Bethy went to sleep immediately. She never ate. She also hasn't used the stove before.

Mom and I were forced to be awake cuz he's loud as fuck and we can't close the bedroom door cuz the house is too hot, and we need air flow. However, if we put a fan in the window, the humidity makes everything wet, and mom nearly broke her neck when she stepped out of the room and slid on the wet floor. It was so bad that her phone almost died because it claimed there was moisture inside when it had been under her leg on the bed all day.

While Dave cooked whatever he was cooking, we heard something break. For a moment I thought it was the YouTube video I was watching, but then mom sat up straight and went, "He broke something."

But there was no crash. We have many breakable cups and plates, but the breaking sound didn't involve a crash or the sprinkling of shards as they scatter from the point of impact. So, I wasn't actually sure if something broke.

He then made pancakes this morning. For himself. Another way to whine and be a dick.

Anyway, he and Bethy had to go and get more of our stuff from his boss's garage, so I decided to make mom and I lunch. And that's when I saw it.

The break.

The crack.

[It's hard to see but the crack starts from the very bottom of the center of the stove and travels over and up the left side. It ends halfway up the back burner.]

Dave managed to break the tempered glass surface of the stove. My guess it he dropped the metal pot we use for making homemade candy on it, since he uses that for mac n cheese and there's mac n cheese in the fridge right now.

That stove belongs to the landlady, and he's been whining about how she will do surprise inspections.

So, pray that she decides she doesn't want to do any inspections any time soon, cuz having her stove broken within 3 weeks of a new family renting her spare home, is very bad.

[kat-of-seventy-seven-roses]

Homestuck Mythical Creature au / Cryptid Au

Very tempted to make an ask blop :p need to see if anyones inch rested

thought processes under the cut (bc some choices are wild)

Johns a pooka, an irish fae trickster who shapeshifts into animals. his favorite form is the bunny. john and jane are both fae, so their pranks range from harmless to mentally scaring to life altering. absolute chaos grimlins. dirk is also an irish myth, so he knows them well and is often trying to get them to not ruin the local population of humans. so they do pranks on him insted. john loves to steal dirks head and hide it places.

rose speaks to the eldritch horrors and is slowly becoming one herself. she wants to become a litch.

Dave is a harpy! a very chill one who doesn't tend to sing with his full chest, so people dont start crashing into his doorstep. dave dies in some magic accident that caused davesprite to rise up from the ashes. but dave harpy is ALSO fine no ones really sure how. may have been roses doing.

Jade is a werewolf obv. but shes also a witch and has formed a coven with rose and roxy.

Jane is ur avrage fae faerie/sprite. her favorite fae rule to get people to break is "dont eat their food."

Roxy is both a cat who is also a wizard i need not elaborate

Dirk is a headless horseman. not to be confused with THE headless horse man. thats another dullhan with a well paying halloween gig. dirk is often subject to losing his head, so he made a magic pumpkin to pilot the body when this happens. he does have a very large and scary but beautiful horse.

Jake is the bigfoot. and one of the most well hunted (and well travled) cryptids. thus, his friends often make jokes of not ever seeing him except in blurry images. its not his fault hes very large and loves to travel! and is also not very photogenic...

Aradia is a monthra!!! however she made a deal with a devil and became a ghost... not sure WHY yet or why it kills her. but it does. its all in her plan or smth, but that doesnt stop sollux from being very upset that hes the one that has to take and keep her soul. she is reserected later by the coven, still soulless but it doesnt matter bc her soul is in good hands and thus she still feels it. shes much happier now.

Tavros is a minotar self explanatory he is a small minotar, tho. a mini minotar if u will.

Sollux is ur run of the mill soul for potato chip demon. an excuse to give him twin tails and horns. him an kitkat gave me the most trouble! but then i went with a solkat devil angel motifi and im kinda attached t9 it now. even if its sorta a cop out. i simply couldnt find twin creatures that werent gods or children of gods. nor any crab creatures...

Karkat is an angel. he WAS human notably he was human for awhile even good friends with kanaya before he died. he never found love but helped so many with theres that he became an angel that was a lot like cupid. thus he was a small angel incharge of match making and also likened to a baby and hes very much NOT happy about this. it pisses him off, solluxs often gives him a hard time. about it. (extra angst is that kitkats also really fucked up about never knowing what love felt like but having to give it to others. and he has it in his head that that means he never will know, bc no ones matchmaking the matchmaker. but theres a song he hears everyonece anwhile by a stray harpy that makes him feel a lot lighter.)

Nepeta is my go to cat creature a nekomata. a two tailed cat yokai.

Kanaya is a vampire. obviously.

Terezi is a dragon! still blind! still licks. but can now transform and has wings, very scary. shes basiclly just her lusus lmao.

Vriska is a spider lady. i have arachne here bc its similar, but shes not arachne the myth proper. shes just a spider with the top part of a woman at the head. A Jorogumo a spider lady yokai and is basically actually what im picturing.

Equius is a centar and fuck if i ever have to draw him....

Gamzee is a clowwwn, just a clown, just a silly lil guy. What do you MEAN clowns arnt mythical creatures??? what do u mean u saw him under ur bed when you were a child? u must be mistaken. as a nod to ICPs boogieman. when gamzee is not high as a kite and is just a clown, he is one of the most terrifying and unkillable creatures known to children kind.

Eridan is a selkie. basiclly a mermaid but part seal. personally, I'd like to make him part seahorse. but not in the hippocampus way. i chose this bc he can shapeshift, thus he pretends to be a high elf sorcerer, yes he does get dunked on about this.

And finally, Feferi is a siren! who happens to be able to become very VERY **VERY** BIG. she doesnt lure people to drown them but she DOES love to keep live captives in cages :)

[hooked-on-elvis]

ONE NIGHT WITH YOU OF SIN ❤️‍🔥

50s Elvis can't sing something like this!

Well, this is something I just found out. That's why I love listening to Elvis' songs and researching on them. We always can learn interesting things that took place during the recording sessions, which makes EP's songs much, much precious.

I was listening to "Elvis: From the Vaults 50's" album, released as part of the 60-CD set "Elvis Presley: The Album Collection" (2016) — I love the "Elvis: From the Vaults" trilogy to death, by the way — when I crossed something very interesting.

The song "One Night (With You)", that Elvis performed with such passion during the '68 Comeback Special, was recorded by him in the 50s and originally had a slightly different lyrics.

The most known version, the "light" or "family friendly" (per say) version of the chorus of this one song goes like this:

"One night with you is what I'm now praying for."

The "explicit" version tho, as originally written by Dave Bartholomew and that came to be a R&B hit for Smiley Lewis in 1956, the version of the song Elvis recorded in 1957, actually sounds like this:

"One night of sin is what I'm now paying for."

I mean, the lyrics is clearly about sex in either words, but why the change in the words actually happened really intrigued me. I, as usually, looked for answers in one of my favorite books, and that's what I'm gonna share with you now.

So, Elvis was recording songs for the '57 Loving You movie soundtrack when the song was recorded. "One Night" was meant to be featured in this soundtrack album but it wasn't. The track went through a long way before it was put out there to Elvis' audience. To give you an idea, Elvis released the Loving You soundtrack album (June 20, 1957), recorded the songs that were featured in the Jailhouse Rock movie (there wasn't an official soundtrack album out for this movie), released one Christmas album ("Elvis' Christmas Album" - October 15, 1957) and the King Creole soundtrack album too (September 19, 1958), all of this before "One Night (With You)" could be finally released in October 1958, moment he was already officially "Private Presley", serving the US Army while stationed in Germany. But... what happened? Why this song wasn't featured in the Loving You movie and its soundtrack album released in 1957? Why the lyrics changed?

LET'S DIG INTO IT:

SOUNDTRACK RECORDINGS FOR PARAMOUNT’S LOVING YOU - JANUARY 15–18, 21–22 (PARAMOUNT SCORING STAGE) AND FEBRUARY 14, 1957 (RADIO RECORDERS, HOLLYWOOD) (...) When Hal Wallis asked for a few more songs for the movie, Elvis and the boys spent some time rehearsing cover versions of Fats Domino’s current hit "Blueberry Hill" and Smiley Lewis’s "One Night (Of Sin)," written by Domino’s musical partner Dave Bartholomew and credited in part to Bartholomew’s wife.

LISTEN TO SMILEY LEWIS’S "ONE NIGHT (OF SIN)":

So, Elvis first covered this song, and it was recorded in studio, as originally written but the official song he performed had a new lyrics. Let's understand why he recorded the song again before putting it out there for us to listen to.

STUDIO SESSIONS FOR RCA JANUARY 19, 1957: RADIO RECORDERS, HOLLYWOOD (...) Both the Colonel and RCA had serious reservations about the words of the song, but Elvis liked it so much that they appealed to Hill & Range to negotiate with the song’s copyright holder, Lew Chudd of Imperial Records, for permission to rewrite the lyrics.

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STUDIO SESSIONS FOR RCA FEBRUARY 23–24, 1957: RADIO RECORDERS, HOLLYWOOD (...) Meanwhile the new, bowdlerized lyrics for the Dave Bartholomew song had been produced as requested; "One night of sin is what I’m now paying for" became "One night with you is what I'm now praying for," and the deal they'd prayed and paid for freed them to pencil the song in for the Loving You album. In the end, the rewrite was a fortunate stroke. The discerning listener might have missed the more direct lyrics of the original, but Elvis's performance on the new version made up for it: Freed from worry about the song itself, he was all intensity and command. "One Night" was so good, in fact, that it was eventually dropped from the soundtrack and picked as a single with "I Beg Of You" for some indeterminate future date.

So, yes, the song needed the change in the lyrics because of its content. It was too sexual, too explicit to Elvis' audience, mainly composed by teenagers. Elvis apparently wasn't bother by this. He liked the song anyway, even with the new lyrics. He liked the idea of releasing this song but although "One Night", as recorded by Elvis in 1957, was considered a fine material for a new single, Elvis was such a perfectionist he used to redo many of his recordings before he considered they were proper to be released. He was the man picking his own singles, so they always needed his approval before they were out. He wanted work some more in "One Night" because he was not satisfied with the result, but other songs came in the way.

One work after the other, there wasn't time to redo this track recording before Elvis became a soldier in 1958. When "One Night" was finally released it was against Elvis' will. It was not about the new lyrics tho, he just thought the song could sound much better than it was. Even so, the RCA and Colonel Parker, his manager, had to make choices without his consent once his main focus was in being a soldier, between 1958-1960. Elvis used to work "by demand", that means if there was a movie to be filmed, soundtrack recording sessions were made specifically for it, if there was a new Elvis album planned to be released, then recording sessions were scheduled specifically for the new album. They didn't use to work on recording sessions to "save" tracks to be future released. Very few songs used to surplus from each recording session and that only happened when some of the tracks originally planned to be featured in one specific release weren't considered good enough, concerning the quality of the material, or due to contractual deals that weren't still set by the time that specific LP (or EP) needed to be released. When Elvis was officially inducted in the US Army, in March 1958, there wasn't enough material for 2 years of future releases and this caused a lack in songs for the RCA and Colonel Parker to work with considering they needed a certain amount of new tracks to fill an album. For 1958 and 1959, there was a certain lack in new recording material to be out but they needed to keep Elvis' name in the spotlights since there was still a huge demand for him and they couldn't miss the chance to make money just because the US Army would keep their golden boy busy to work in his records for the next couple of years, besides Colonel had promised Elvis (and of course it was his interest as well) that when he came back from the Army he would still have a career to linger on. They chose to release "One Night "as a single, the way it was recorded in 1957, even if Elvis himself didn't agree with this. It was needed.

THE RELEASE (1958):

As you can notice, plans change. The same way "One Night" wasn't featured in the originally planned "Loving You" album in 1957, when the song was released as a single the opposite track wasn't "I Beg of You" as planned previously, instead they picked "I Got Stung" as the A-side.

1958–59: GOETHESTRASSE A new single had to be chosen, and both Sholes and the Colonel were still pulling for "One Night" over Elvis’s objections; the publishing company had made a deal for part of the royalties, but the deal depended upon the song’s release as a single and couldn’t be extended past October 31, 1958. The Colonel felt it would be foolish not to take advantage of the deal, and at last he persuaded Elvis to agree. With "I Got Stung" from the June session as the B-side, the new single caused an immediate sensation. DJs clearly preferred the A-side, but both cuts shot up the charts right away, eventually reaching number four and number eight, respectively. Split airplay may well have been what stopped "One Night" from going to number one on the charts, but the single sold several hundred thousand copies more than the last two releases, even matching "Don’t"/"I Beg Of You."

All the excerpts comes from the book "Elvis Presley: A Life in Music" by Ernst Jorgensen. Foreword by Peter Guralnick (1998).

Singles "One Night" and "I Got Stung". Released October 21, 1958. Recorded on February 23, 1957.

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AFTERWARDS:

As far as I know (and I say this because I am still studying Elvis' career and many things can come to my knowledge in the future), ever since released, Elvis performed the song as it was officially out, leaving "One Night (Of Sin)" to be heard only as a posthumous released track, after 1983 as it came out featuring the album "Elvis: A Legendary Performer (Vol 4)".

"One Night Of Sin" and "One Night" were featured together in the 2006 Follow That Dream (FTD) label re-issue of the "Loving You" soundtrack album. On the previous year (2005) FTD re-issue of the same album, there was only "One Night Of Sin" in the album, as it was supposed to be if the lyrics hadn't changed and the song had came out in the album it was meant to be in.

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LET'S DISCUSS IT:

First of all, I totally understand Colonel Parker's fears over the lyrics. "One Night (Of Sin)" would have been a risky song for Elvis in the 50s to perform/release and, the way I see it, the change in the lyrics came as a way of not giving munition to conservative people to "cancel" Elvis, to cause an even bigger fuss on his already pretty "stained" image as a "troublemaker", a "rock and roller rebel", an "imoral young man who's such a bad influence on the America's youth". Let's face it, have a conservative parent heard their kids listening to "One night of sin is what I'm paying for" there would have been "Loving You" LPs being burned in trashes all over the US, a lot more of badmouthing Elvis' name scenes with older folks using this song as an example of Presley's kind of "antics" and "imoral behavior", and maybe even the Loving You movie could have been forbidden if the song was performed in it, suffering boycott fired up by church leaders and all.

I wonder if that song was in fact in the movie tho. The Loving You movie is very, very "family friendly", all cute and sweet. I can't even imagine Deke Rivers singing "One Night Of Sin" onstage, since we know Elvis performed songs using not only his voice but his whole body. I mean, of course he performed "One Night (With You)" with the usual sex appeal inherent of him but the original lyrics would add much more sensuality into the performance, no doubt. I wish I could've watch him performing this son,g with its original lyrics, in the 50s... it would be something else, I tell ya. But it would also be quite scandalous for his image back then. Even so, I can't quite understand how that song was never performed by him the way he recorded at first, "One Night of Sin", during the '68 Comeback Special - or any other Elvis performance. He had no more reasons to try to play the "cool and nice southern religious boy" anymore by then, so why Elvis didn't sing this song the way it was originally recorded? I guess, concerning the '68 TV Special, this time it was a matter of being on television - you know... the sponsorship for the show would probably not agree with such "explicit" lyrics considering it was supposed to be a Christmas TV special, again, family oriented. Maybe he never performed the song with its original lyrics because nobody heard him sing it before since it was only released for the public after Elvis died. Such a shame.

As far as I know, Elvis never performed One Night Of Sin live but it would have been EXTREMELY suitable for his late 60s/70s stage persona. It wouldn't be a shock, you know? Like when he sings Steamroller Blues and a bunch of other tracks with lyrics under that sexy vibes. It feels like Elvis. Anyway, I personally would give almost anything to watch him singing this song in the 70s, really but I guess it is what it is. The timing wasn't that good when this track came to him — or it actually was because, if you think about it, now we have two versions of that song by Elvis. What could be better than one Elvis song than two (and hundreds more) of them?

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You can listen to "One Night (Of Sin)" by Elvis Presley on:

"Elvis: A Legendary Performer" Vol 4. (1983)

"The King of Rock’n’Roll – The Complete 50’s Masters" (1992)

"Loving You" (2005) – FTD (re-issue)

"Loving You" (2006) – FTD (re-issue)

"Elvis: From the Vaults: 50's" (2016)

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UPDATES - JUNE 6, 2024: This article has been corrected on the typos and general English grammar errors, plus the year Elvis was inducted into the Army, which I originally confused 1958 with the year he was discharged, 1960, and just now I realized that. I also added a few other personal comments.

I'm sorry a few of you "had to" share this article with its errors but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING ANY WAY. I appreciate it when you engage with the content I share because, first and foremost, it means you liked it. It makes me feel like it's worth spending time here. I love you guys. Oh, by the way, if you see anything that could be improved in this or any other post on my blog, make me know it. I would like to leave accurate and easy-to-understand articles about Elvis for future fans to read. Of course they have all the Elvis library available but it's fun to read things straight from other Elvis fans too because we know exactly how El makes us feel. So let's keep building a safe community, saving easy-to-reach material about Elvis Presley for future generations together, shall we? ♥

[mysticalgothcookiesoul]

re: epic time travel fix it

do you mind sharing more about steven-dave? was he one of the guys that was in the cave with polyphemus? was he part of the group that turned into pigs by circe? or did he stay back on the ship for those? (no pressure to answer tho! i’m just very invested in the life of your intrepid time traveller :D)

Steven-dave was there for everything. In the og timeline, he was in the cave with Polyphemus, got turned into a pig, the whole lot of it. Now that he's regressed, he's stuck being the only one who has common sense whilst the rest of the crew continue to do more and more stupid shit. Honestly, he's going to need a pay rise by the time I'm done with him. If you want to know more about steven-dave in general then feel free to pop me another ask :)

[daddy-dins-girl]

Kinktober 2023 Pt. 1 - Dave York (Somnophilia, Frottage, Virginity)

Masterlist

AO3 link

Summary: It's Dave's birthday, and you have a present for him. Then again, maybe it's more for you.

This fic covers days 2 and 7 of @absurdthirst's Kinktober 2023 challenge.

Dave York x Virgin!Reader (babysitter)

Word Count: 4.2k

Notes: Me: Ok, I can do this, I can write some smutty little kinktober drabble, no problem! Also me: Writes 2500 words of backstory and character development before a stitch of clothing even comes off.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI. Explicit smut. Cheating, infidelity (it's the York's y'all, come on, is it even Dave York fanfic if one or both of them aren't banging somebody else?). Age gap (Reader is 21, Dave is in his 40's). Virgin (but not inexperienced) Reader. Consensual Somnophilia. "Just the tip" (but like actually tho). Frottage. Vaginal and clitoral stimulation (aka pussy rubbing). Accidental creampie (whoops). Drug use, kind of? (just over the counter sleep aids). Dave York is his own warning. Uh.. if I've forgotten anything, lmk. I think I've given away half the story already in the tags! At least you know what you're in for ;)

There was an excitement thrumming through your veins as you sat in the living room waiting for the York’s to get home, not really paying any attention to what was playing on the TV because your mind was elsewhere.

The two children you were caring for, Molly and Alice, have long since been tucked into their beds and asleep and now you were just waiting for their parents to get home. They typically weren’t gone for more than a few hours. It didn’t need to be said that that was more than they could stand of each other if their children weren’t there to serve as buffers, that much was obvious to just about anyone who spent enough time around Carol and Dave. Apparently however just not to their friends who they had to go out with and appease, pretending their marriage was still perfect. That’s where the York’s found themselves this Saturday night, out with friends celebrating Dave’s birthday that was coming up in a few days.

It was a good job for you though, Mr. York always paid you handsomely. Anytime you’d come over to babysit he’d leave the same amount of money in an envelope on the kitchen counter for you. A fifty dollar bill for you to order food for yourself and the two girls (which was way more than enough, even with the delivery charges and tip, to cover anything the three of you could eat) and a crisp hundred for yourself for your services which you thought was way too high, considering they were never gone more than 2-3 hours. The first couple times you’d tried to give him the change from dinner but he’d shoved the twenty back into your own palm and told you to keep it so now you’ve stopped trying to argue and typically walk away with at least $120.00 a night, which was pretty good for a 3 hour gig for a 21 year old who lives at home while attending school. You didn’t know what Dave York did for a living - something in government, you think - but apparently whatever it was it paid extremely well.

The hard rain coming down outside was hitting the large windows of the York’s extravagant home in sheets and truth be told you were more than glad that there was practically a hurricane going on outside. It actually fit into your plans perfectly so you just watched the storm rage on outside from your comfortable seat on the sofa, a small smile on your face while you waited for your employers to get home.

Within minutes you heard the loud hum of the garage door opening up signaling the York’s arrival and you clicked off the TV, pretending to be interested in something on your phone and acting casually as a minute later you heard the door connecting the house to the garage open and Carol and Dave spilled inside.

“Oh my God it’s madness out there” Carol practically shrieked and Dave immediately shushed her loudly, reminding her of their sleeping children and Carol put a hand over her mouth but laughed uncontrollably still.

Yep, she was wasted, as usual.

“Oh hi, Mr. and Mrs. York” you greet them sweetly, standing up from the couch and coming over to the hallway leading to the entryway where they were taking off their soaked jackets, likely from their walk from whatever restaurant they had been at to their car.

“Oh hi sweetie. How were the girls?” Carol managed to ask, you’re not sure how she got the words out, given the way Dave was literally having to hold her up by her elbow just so she could kick her shoes off.

“Oh they were great, as always” you promise. And they were, Molly and Alice were rarely any trouble. This was by far the easiest babysitting gig you’d ever had.

“Pay the girl David, I need to go to bed” Carol groaned, leaning into her husband’s shoulder for support. Dave rolled his eyes. First of all, he had already paid you at the beginning of the night, like he always had and you’d think his wife would know that by now, and secondly he absolutely did not like how she was all but dismissing you without even thanking you or saying more than five words to you.

“Um, Mr. and Mrs. York,” you cut in, before Dave has a chance to say anything. “I was thinking, you know, the rain is coming down really bad and I don’t really like driving late at night as it is, I thought maybe I could stay over?” You asked politely. You’ve done it numerous times on occasions that they were sure they’d be home late, they had offered you their spare room in the basement so you could go to sleep once the girls were in bed if you had wanted to. Most times when you stayed over it was because you were already asleep when they’d gotten home, but on a couple occasions you’d stayed over even when you were still awake when they got in just because of how late it was.

“Sure, whatever sweetie” Carol waved a flippant hand at you.

“Of course you can” Dave finally spoke, his voice louder and firmer than Carol’s. Dave rarely came home with more than a drink or two under his belt because he typically drove. You also got the feeling that he knew he had to have all his wits about him when out with his wife so he could be a glorified babysitter himself.

“Thank you, Mr. York” you said his name sweetly, a coy smile playing on your lips that went unnoticed by Carol but intentionally noticed by Dave.

You left Dave to wrangle Carol up to bed and made your way down to the basement, getting ready for bed and then pulled your phone out to type out a quick text to the man of the house before you tried to get some sleep.

Cum see me l8r. Got a present for you to unwrap😉. You know the rules. xxx

You took a breath. You were excited and yet nervous, never having done anything like this, specifically, before. You reach over to the night stand and pick up the small white tablet, pop it into your mouth and wash it down with some water before you lay down on the bed and wait (im)patiently for sleep to take over.

Dave’s phone pings in his pocket once he’s finally gotten Carol into bed. She was tugging at his tie and belt and trying to drag him into the bed with her, mumbling something incoherently about a “birthday blowjob” and he could do little but roll his eyes. He was in no mood to have his completely drunken wife undoubtedly fall asleep on him with his cock half way down her throat. Besides the fact that he knows exactly where her mouth has been the last eight months or so which had been the final nail in the coffin that was once their active sex life.

So instead he leaves her there and heads off into the ensuite to shower, pulling out his phone to check his text from you along the way and smirking to himself when he reads it. He doesn’t reply. He rarely does. Sometimes it’s a power move. He likes you to squirm, wondering if he’s read it, what he’s thinking, if he’s as insatiable in his desire for you as you are for him. Mostly he doesn’t reply though because he doesn’t like paper trails. Not that he thinks you would, but the last thing he needs is you screenshotting your conversations with him and sharing them around with your friends or something.

Dave brushes his teeth, gets into the shower, then heads down to the kitchen to relax for a bit, sipping a beer and catching some highlights on SportsCenter. He doesn’t want to seem too eager and part of him likes to keep you waiting. Finally after a couple of hours have passed since he received your text he clicks off the TV and goes in search of you.

He moves through the basement rec room and to the closed bedroom door, pulling the small key out of the pocket of his sweatpants and using it to let himself inside, ensuring to lock it behind him. He’s the only one with a key to unlock the door from the outside so he doesn’t have to worry about anyone interrupting anything.

He makes his way over to the bed where you’re lying on your back. There’s a bedside lamp that’s turned on to its highest setting so he has no trouble making anything out in the room, he assumes it's intentional.

“Naughty girl” Dave mutters to himself when he sees what’s waiting for him. You’re lying there perfectly asleep on top of the bedclothes wearing nothing but a tiny camisole and simple yellow cotton panties with a small pair of red cherries right in the center like a goddamn bullseye and a tiny little tied red bow at the top.

Got a present for you to unwrap. Your words ring in his head and he’s half hard already just from looking at you.

He assesses the rest of the room and his eyebrow raises when he sees what’s on the bedside table, a tiny blue box with the logo “Sleep-Eze” on it and a half drank glass of water.

“Jesus Christ” Dave huffs out a breath, pushing a hand through his hair.

You had a conversation recently one night when you were lying in bed together the last time you had stayed over at his house and he came to see you (as he always had). You had confessed that a fantasy of yours was to wake up to having an orgasm. Dave was hesitant at first, for multiple reasons. One he didn’t like the idea of getting off on someone who was effectively unconscious, and two he argued that you’d wake up way too easily if he was doing his job well enough.

You told him you’d figure out a way to help with the second problem which, Dave presumed, was the reason for the sleeping tablet. And as for the first, you told him if he really wasn’t comfortable he didn’t have to, it was just something you had always wanted to try but had never trusted anyone else to do it.

And you did, trust him. The last line of your text, ‘you know the rules’, he did know the rules. Well, rule. It was really just one when it came to you.

No penetration.

At least, not with his cock. You weren’t a total prude or anything but you were a virgin (hence the cherry panties he supposed… cute little vixen). You grew up in a very religious household and although you didn’t quite believe in waiting until marriage like your parents had taught you to, you did want to wait until it could be with someone you loved and that just hadn’t happened to you yet. Still, despite this, you were sexually active in plenty of other ways that certainly seemed to keep Dave satisfied enough. For now anyway. You worried he might get bored of you but it hadn’t happened yet and it’s been nearly six months. Despite his aggressive and controlling behavior in bed he always respected your one rule and didn’t pressure you to cross it with him. He probably knew that before long you’d be begging him for it anyway and he was probably right. Your resilience was waning a lot. And it wasn’t just the sexual desire, though that was obviously a huge part of it, but you felt a connection to Dave you had yet to find with anyone else you dated, especially boys your own age who were exactly that - boys.

Dave was sweet to you when you least expected it. When you’d aced your midterm paper that you had spent weeks agonizing over, a dozen roses showed up at your parents doorstep the next day with a card nestled inside with a single phrase written on it. “So proud of you. D.”

When you had briefly mentioned one night that you desperately wanted tickets to the Taylor Swift concert but weren’t willing to fork over your entire college fund to get them, the next time you had come over to babysit in addition to the usual $150.00 in the envelope on the counter there was a pair of tickets to the Eras Tour Boston show with a small note stuck to it in Dave’s familiar scratchy handwriting “take one of your girlfriends, and have fun sweetheart”. You idly wonder who he had to kill to get them.

Then there was the day your brother had been shipped off to his first tour of Active Duty and you couldn’t be emotional about it in front of your parents because you had to “be strong for your brother” (their words). You had texted Dave when you finally couldn’t be in that house another minute pretending your whole world hadn’t just changed and he had picked you up from the corner of your street, driven to a secluded parking lot and pulled you into the back seat with him where he just held you for hours while you cried in his arms. You told him stories of your childhoods growing up, how close you’d been and how he was your best friend and whole world; your port in the storm against your strict parents and the only person who truly understood you. Dave sat there calmly, listening to every word, brushing a comforting hand through your hair or occasionally pressing his lips to your temple when another wave of tears hit you. He promised you that you never had to be brave or strong in front of him if you didn’t want to be, he would be there to hold you up. Be your strength when you had none left to give.

And when you had told Dave about a guy that had gotten a little too “handsy” with you at a Frat party - despite you repeatedly asking him to leave you alone - well, come to think of it, you’d actually never seen Thomas again after that night. You safely assume Dave had something to do with it though.

So yes, Dave was much more than just a warm body to you, and you for him, you presumed, and there was no one else you trusted with your body like you trusted Dave.

“Fuck” Dave muttered, hand coming down involuntarily to palm over the bulge growing beneath the elastic waistband of his sleep pants. You looked goddamn adorable when you were sleeping, Dave noticed immediately. Little mouth half open, head rolled to the side with your hair spilling over the pillows, and the rise and fall of your chest putting your perfect round tits on display for him under the threadbare top.

Apparently getting over the first hurdle was going to be easier than Dave thought.

He pulled his sweats down and kicked them off, leaving himself in just his boxer briefs and t-shirt and crawled onto the bed on his knees until he was between your legs, sitting back on his heels. He began by experimentally running his left hand down your leg all the way to your calf and then back up to your thigh, waiting to see if you’d stir at all and - nothing. Your breathing never faltered, body never twitched, and satisfied, Dave moved on to what he knew you were waiting for.

He started slowly, gently. He brought his hand to rest on your hip and his thumb reached down to stroke you over top of your underwear, pushing all the way down into your slit and back up and repeating the motion over and over again for a minute or so until he began to feel the unmistakable wetness begin to pool behind the thin cotton barrier.

“Good girl” Dave hummed to himself, then brought two fingers down on top of where your clit would be and began rubbing tight circles around it. Your hips jerked slightly and he stopped immediately like a deer caught in headlights, eyes shooting up to yours only to find you still fast asleep and he let out a relieved breath. It was just your body reacting to his touch but thankfully he hadn’t woken you. He knew what you wanted and he wanted to give it to you and he knew he had a long way to go before he brought you to a peak so it was far too soon to have you waking up already.

“That’s it baby” Dave praised when a little whimper left your lips but you simply snuggled further into your pillow. “Back to sleep”

After another couple minutes of soft caresses of his fingers he took his hands away momentarily to grab for one of the decorative pillows that had been tossed carelessly aside and he carefully lifted your hips to settle it underneath you, raising you slightly for him so he wouldn’t throw his back out leaning over you for what he wanted to do next - for what he knew you were waiting for him to do.

Once he’s got you in the position he wants he hastily tugs down his boxers, shuffles closer towards you on his knees and groans when he takes his own length in his hand. He’s painfully hard already and his head is weeping precum and he hisses through his teeth when he loosely grips his cock and starts pumping his hips, effectively fucking his own hand while the head of dick pushes into your still clothed sex.

“Oh fuck,” he groans. The combination of your own wetness and his leaking tip have caused a giant wet spot on your panties, leaving them basically transparent as he continues dragging his cock through your folds over your underwear.

This had quickly become your favorite thing to do with Dave, once he had tried it once, promising you he wouldn’t go inside but just wanting to be close to you. He’d rub your pussy with his cock until you came - which never took long - and you’d practically begged him to do it every time you were together since. It was near fucking torture for Dave, being so goddamn close to burying his cock deep inside you like he so desperately wanted to. He could do it. It would be so fucking easy. Especially right now. But he wouldn’t. If there was one thing Dave had in spades, it was self control.

Dave checks in with you again, makes sure you’re still asleep and you are, though your face is a little scrunched up now, not as peaceful looking. It looks like you’re dreaming and are a little unsure of what exactly is going on. He knows he probably doesn’t have a lot of time left to get you to cum before you wake up so he moves on to the final stage. He slips his dick under the soaked piece of cotton through the side and continues his little thrusts with his hands now resting on the insides of your thighs and not able to help the moan that escapes him when his dick finally makes contact with your naked cunt.

“Mmmmm” you hum sleepily, somewhere between completely dead to the world and barely awake.

Dave vaguely hears you beginning to stir, the sound of his cock pushing in and out of your sopping core filling his ears and causing his brain to nearly stop functioning with how fucking turned on he is. His tip brushes against your clit with every push of his cock and he has to close his eyes and focus on his breathing so he doesn’t come before you do.

“Ohhhhhh” you whine breathily, being dragged a little closer to consciousness.

It’s the softest fucking sound he’s ever heard and he nearly comes at the sound of your desperate, meek little whimper.

“Oh fuck, Baby, wake up” Dave groans, slightly picking up the pace that his cock slides in and out of your folds.

“Dave?” you mutter, confused as your eyes try desperately to blink open. “Oh. Oh fuck, Oh Dave!” It hits you like a fucking brick wall. You're suddenly completely alert as the pleasure centers in your brain finally start firing on all cylinders again and you’re painfully aware of how incredibly turned on you are. Not to mention how close you are.

“Sweetheart, oh fuck” Dave is close to losing it himself from above you. His hand leaves your thigh to yank your panties to the side and then he grabs his dick with the other to control his movements. He watches his cock rub up and down through your swollen lips and push into your clit, repeating the pattern over and over and over and soon enough you're rocking your hips in rhythm with him.

“Oh my God, Dave. Fuck, fuck, fuck” You cry out. He feels fucking incredible and you’re desperately close to coming, you can feel it flooding your lower abdomen, the dam about to burst. You push up on your elbows, you want to watch as Dave’s cock slides through you.

“Fuck, wish I could be inside you” Dave groans. He knows it's not fair of him to say it when you’re both so worked up like this but he’s never wanted it more than in this moment.

“Yesssss, fuck, me too Dave. Wanna come on your big fat cock baby” you mewl desperately, clutching at the sheets.

“Fuck baby don’t say shit like that” Dave scolds. It was one thing to playfully tease, but saying that to him knowing full well he couldn’t do anything about it was downright cruel.

“Baby, fuck, I’m serious” you whine. “Wanna feel you inside me, just a little bit, please baby? Just the tip? I need it”

“Oh fuck” Dave literally growls like you’ve never heard before and then he pushes inside you for the first time, just the head, like you asked, and you instantly fall apart. Your walls squeeze around his tip like an unrelenting vice grip and your juices flood his cock and seconds later you feel his own hot spend painting your walls as he shudders over you and grips your hips so tightly you know they’ll be bruised tomorrow.

“Oh shit, oh shit shit shit!” Dave curses at his own stupidity and lack of control but can do little about it as he continues to spurt rope after rope of his cum inside you.

“Oh my god, Dave” you sigh dreamily, falling back onto the bed and not only unbothered, but blissfully pleased at Dave’s little indiscretion. You’ll take a Plan B in the morning, you’re far from worried about it.

“Fuck, I’m sorry” Dave pants breathlessly as he finally pulls his spent cock out of you and runs his hands through his hair and then rubs them over his face and groans.

“Baby, come here” you insist, reaching up to pull him down on top of you and you’re surprised at how easily he allows it to happen.

“Hey, it’s ok” you assure him softly, wrapping your arms around his neck and petting a hand through his hair.

“I shouldn’t have-” he begins to protest as he pushes himself up on his elbows, but you’re quick to cut him off.

“I wanted you to. Baby that was…” you trail off, literally unable to put into words how good he made you feel and so you opt instead to pull his head back gently and kiss him passionately. After a few seconds of trying to resist you, Dave succumbs to the kiss and opens his mouth to you, tongue pushing inside and melding with yours.

You pull apart only when the need for oxygen overwhelms you both and Dave rests his forehead on yours, gently shaking his head.

“You’re fucking incredible, do you know that?” He says sincerely and a blush rises in your cheeks.

“You’re not so bad yourself” you tease.

“I just had my dick inside you” Dave states like he’s reading the morning headlines.

“I remember, I was there” you giggle and he huffs a laugh in return.

“Are you um… ok?” He asks sincerely, bringing a hand up so his finger can lightly trace your jawline, his eyes searching yours for any signs of regret.

“More than ok” you promise, raising your head slightly to press a quick kiss to his lips.

“You sure? You don’t hate me?” He asks and you can barely believe your ears, maybe you were still high from the sleeping pill.

“Hate you? Baby you literally just made my wildest fantasy come true”

“Really?” Dave asks, eyebrow raised. “It was uh… what you wanted?”

“It was everything I wanted and more” you promise.

“Come here” you murmur, pulling him down to kiss you again.

You kiss unhurriedly for several minutes, just reveling in the taste of each other and the closeness you feel to one another.

“Happy birthday Baby” you hum against his lips when you finally break the kiss and Dave lowers himself from his elbows to wrap his arms around you in a tight embrace.

“Best birthday ever Sweetness” he murmurs into your throat.

Tagging @nerdieforpedro, @chronically-ghosted @macabremads

[mothsgotghosts]

This is for such a niche audience I'm sure but GUYS. D20 and MK1 Fans. Please. I hope you all find this. NEVER STOP BLOWING UP AU. okay. Okay hear me out. I'm gonna yap about this idea bc I have no friends who like mortal kombat. Probably nobody will find this but OH WELL. Nsbu spoilers for sure btw

Ok so this is like a. No outworld au I guess. Idk how else to describe it tbh. So like, Raiden, Kung Lao, Johnny, Kenshi, Tomas, and Syzoth all work at a video rental store that is going out of business. Its owned by like. Shang Tsung I guess. I haven't fully thought that part through tbh-

Anyway they have their little going out of business party after calling some guy to come like pay his late fees for this video tape. The guy shows up and it's Liu Kang yayyy. Then he like yk. Rewinds the tape and they all get sucked in‼️

Raiden ends up as the Kingskin character

Kung Lao is the Vic Ethenol

Johnny is the Jennifer Drips

Tomas is the Jack Manhattan

Syzoth is the G13

And Kenshi is actually. Not a Greg Stocks character, but instead an FBI agent. Also he's a girl too j cuz

Shang Tsung is unfortunately the president j like Dave

And Lui Kang is like. Kinda similar to Damien Bane but not really

I should warn you all I am. A johnshi shipper and that's gonna be obvious in this so if u don't like them u should go 😔. I also ship railao and symas but as of rn those aren't nearly as prevalent to the plot.

ANYWAY. The storylines of the nsbu chatacters they reflect are different from the actual show bc I'm not copying the characters exactly, but the movie plot is relatively the same

I don't have much in the way of an actual plot but here's some silly little ideas I have yayyy:

Syzoth does get hacked by his character similar to Usha, they DO bring him back thankfully but it's WILD

Syzoth is also the G13 character bc he's the only one of the six who in canon is not from Earthrealm and I thought it'd be funny if this guy is just Bad at technology for literally no reason

I chose the six people that I did bc four of them are the champions of Earthrealm and the other two are just silly billies. That's my main reasoning tbh

Liu Kang is not as. Unhinged? As Barsimion for the record, he's a lot chiller and acts like himself if he was just like. A tiny bit crazy and full of whimsy

Johnny and Kenshi's characters plots are intertwined I think. A spy and an FBI agent constantly at each other throats, it's also Super Gay (just like them 😁)

Raiden is the Kingskin character because I truly feel like someone should tell this man he's allowed to be selfish sometimes. Someone please let him know that occasionally he can be a bit selfish.

Tomas is the Jack Manhattan because I feel like he would act a lot like Paula does at times. Just like freaking out and saying insane shit. That's the main reason. ALSO BC HIM BEING A GRIZZLED LOOSE CANON DETECTIVE WOULD BE FUNNY

Johnny was definitely a little jealous of Tomas bc he got to be the detective guy, he learns to like his character tho I swear

Kung Lao is the Vic Ethenol bc like. Honestly Vibes.

Shang Tsung is literally gonna explode the world and start so many wars just like Dave bro cannot be chill

And that's all I got yayyy. I love you if you read this whole thing and if u have more ideas PLEASE lmk. Okay byeee

[bomberqueen17]

great great great

It's all going great, it is. I'm frazzled for no real reason. But it's going.

Wednesday it snowed and the contractors showed up later than they meant to; it was almost 9 when the van pulled in to the neighbor's driveway and I opened my front door and said "over here man" and the guy was like "ah whoops there's the house number" and we laughed.

Description and photos behind the cut, this got long, but anyway this is why I dont' have a chapter ready to go this week either >.>

The demolition crew was two guys, a white dude about five feet five named Andrew with a piercing voice and impeccable manners, and a taller quiet Black dude named Dave. They put plastic sheeting over the doors out of the kitchen and proceeded to just wreak mayhem in there. The "installer", who I assume is kind of a project lead from the way everyone talked about him, wasn't present, he was tying up loose ends on a previous job. ("We had a third party doing vinyl and they just walked out and didn't finish it," Andrew told Dave. "I thought we didn't use third parties," Dave mused. "Yeah," Andrew said, "well that's why we don't." I loved how sharp Andrew's voice was because I could eavesdrop even over all the crashing noises.)

Andrew never swore in my presence but again, piercing voice, so I heard him explain to Dave, "I fucked myself over on these jobs tho, one of the early ones for this company I had extra time and they were like keep yourself busy somehow so we can pay ya, and I was like okay and I went through and I pulled all the staples and left the place so clean and nice, and now they expect me to do that every time. But it means I always get the job, the installers request me, because I'm gonna pull all the staples." I have no idea what was stapled, but I do believe him, because Dave was like "okay okay I'll pull the staples" and then I never saw any staples.

He was done by about 3:30 pm, to his own surprise. "Thought we'd need another half day, especially with the late start I got, on the road for an hour like that," he said (he was commuting up from the snow belt, and while our area had gotten three inches, they'd gotten over a foot down there, and nobody was handling it well on the roads.) "I didn't work slow, but I took my time, but everything came off so clean I'm all set here and it's done."

[image description: My kitchen before work started. Yellow linoleum floor in poor condition, brown wood cabinets, white and yellow linoleum countertops on a little L-shaped area, and a half-wall dividing the room partially so it's a tiny kitchen and a tiny dinette.]

[image: the work in progress, from the other door of the kitchen. The half-wall of the leg of the L is still visible as framing. The linoleum is gone, peeled back to wooden subflooring. The plaster walls are gone, down to the bare studs. The electric fixtures are hanging from the ceiling. in the foreground, Andrew is leaning on a four-foot stepladder, on his phone; in the background, Dave is in a fluorescent yellow hoodie on his knees on the floor scraping up the remnants of the linoleum underlayment.]

There is not a scrap of insulation in those walls. I asked Andrew and he laughed and was like "usually there isn't, in houses like this one".

When he left the half-wall frame was gone, and all of it was hauled out to a dump trailer in the driveway, neatly stowed, and the room was immaculate.

[image: an empty room with bare wall studs. The new windows are white frames. You can see the sink pipe, and the drainpipe vent going up toward the roof, jogged around the window. You can also see, under the bay window, the reinforced framing in the wall to support the original, much smaller picture window that used to be there.]

So that was day one. Day two, The Installer showed up. A fiftysomething moustachioed man named Jim, with the soft-spoken sort of mumbly variant of the local dialect that Dude's dad spoke too-- I had forgotten, Hap (yes dude's dad's name was really Hap) died twenty years ago now, but I did know him-- he did this kind of work, too-- anyway, Jim was more reserved than Andrew, but I made a point of greeting him, and made a point of mildly swearing fairly early in the conversation in like a funny way. A little later another guy showed up, a younger guy named Chad, and Jim explained later that Chad was finished with his project and looking to fill some time so he'd come to help and Jim was glad of the help. Chad set to work demolishing the last half-wall that was supposed to come out-- Andrew hadn't because Jim wanted to put in some bracing beforehand, since the wall's load-bearing and they're going to put in reinforcements to support it a little later.

I came out to look, and apologized for being nosy, and Chad laughed and said "it's your house!" and then mimed hitting the wall with the sledgehammer again and said "Bam!" quietly, like showing that he understood that it was fun to do/watch, and I proceeded to watch in delight as he carefully demolished the plaster wall and carefully removed the light switches and thermostat wiring from the remains.

Jim laughed at me and Chad, and after that has been much warmer to me. i've been well-trained to stand out of the way, and have come to watch them do various things.

[Image: Clean new 2x4s arranged into a temporary brace from ceiling to floor, with a stepladder threaded through it, extending along a space about two feet into the room from where the half-wall was just demolished, to hold the load of the rest of the house. The light switches are dangling and the heat vent poking up out of the floor is just a hole.]

Unfortunately they needed me to clear out a section of the basement where I'd deemed it safe to store things, because there need to be reinforcements put in under the pillars and beam that are replacing the load-bearing wall. I worked on that, and they came and helped me move a table. The heat vent has to be moved, and Jim thought there was going to have to be some whole thing with concrete but midway through the day he had called someone to confirm and they were like what are you talking about and he was delighted to discover he was reading an earlier version of the proposal, and the final contract had said that he could just reinforce a floor joist and meet code that way, rather than having to demolish part of my basement floor to pour a new concrete footing for a new jack post for a pillar to support the corner of the kitchen. He explained this to me with wonderful clarity, and pointed out other places where the original builders of the house had used this same doubled floor joist reinforcement.

Meanwhile the company hauled away the dump trailer with all the demolition debris, and then showed up with a flatbed with all the drywall and insulation for my project, which they put into my garage-- which coincidentally I'd just cleaned out because we'd just had the garage door replaced (on Tuesday, that finally happened, which is great because that was the last possible day it could have happened ha ha no that didn't stress me out at all why do you ask), so anyway it was great to have a good spot to put all that. They even moved the snowblower so it'd be easy to get to, before they filled up the space with the drywall.

Today (Friday) Jim's back by himself, cutting out the old heat vent and extending it to the other side of the room, where it will come up through the kickplate of one of the cabinets. This means that cabinet will be warm and also whoever sits at the table built in to the window will have warm toes, so I approve. Probably Chita is going to want to sit there so we're going to have to figure out how to make room for that, LOL.

Tomorrow Dude's mom is leaving to travel for Christmas, and we're going to go over to her house to house-sit. I think Jim won't have any more questions for me by then, or so I hope-- I'm going to give him my number anyway, and review with him that he's got the house key and everything he needs.

We are living in the living room like gremlins, and have to move sideways through the space because it's so crammed. It was all fine and good until we forgot we'd need to put the stove in there too, and now it's a struggle. And the microwave can't be on the same circuit with the fridge, so if I want to microwave something I have to use an extension cord going into the kitchen. So I can't microwave my lunches. And even still sometimes it trips the circuit breaker. Me having pre-prepared a bunch of food to microwave is now kind of a bummer, because the damn circuit breaker tripping is so annoying and slightly scary.

[image: Haunted-house-looking-ass-shit-- the thermostat is taped to the temporary bracing with painter's tape, and the light switches controlling the pale yellow light that's illuminating the scene are just dangling from their wires into the dark room.]

Today Jim's working on that heat vent and then figures he can get the floor underlayment in. He's cautiously optimistic that the project can be done before Christmas-- they said it would be six weeks, with the kitchen "roughly usable" after three, and he explained it more to me yesterday as he was about to leave.

So once he has the underlayment in, then Monday and Tuesday ("mondee-chusdee", in his accent) the electricians can come, and "chusdee-wensdee" the plumber can come. (He'll mark out the locations of all the cabinets and heights of the counters in painter's tape, he said, so the electricians can work confidently to place the outlets and fixtures.) The plumber will move the stove gas line and the refrigerator water line (Jim was so casually contemptuous of the way the installers had plumbed the waterline for our fridge when we bought it last year. "We'll do it right," he said, "with a water box and a shutoff up behind the fridge so you can work on it from there, we won't use a little plastic hose." He sniffed. "We'll repair this." The installers had used one of those lil sharkbite things I think, to put a little T into the waterline so a plastic tube could thread up through the floor to the fridge. "These things are-- well they're easy for a homeowner to install," Jim said not unkindly, "but they're, well, they're kind of trash."), and will bring the sink standpipe up to code-- it's not bad but it's very 1950-- and then after that, Jim can come back-- but he's got some vacation coming up, he's going to Florida to see his mom, so his colleague Max who's out sick this week ("I told him we didn't need to share whatever he's got, he's a giving guy but it's okay to keep that to himself") will be taking over but it should be pretty seamless-- anyway he explained the master-carpentering things he's gotta do, including building the cabinets and such, which'll take a while. The cabinets get built-in, and then the flooring is installed afterward to butt up against them (the flooring doesn't go under the cabinets because they're not movable, but it does go under the appliances since those are movable), and once the cabinets are in he can get the final measurements to the countertop people, who then take seven-ten days to manufacture the countertop to spec. So that's the delay, he explained-- the appliances can come in and get hooked up, and then you have your stove and your fridge and you can kind of use your kitchen. But the countertop people have this delay before they can install, and that's always where the project feels like it's dragging and people get frustrated, but it's unavoidable. He was delighted to be told that we won't be in the house at that point, we're gonna be house-sitting and won't be breathing down his neck about it. And if we do have to move back in here before the countertops we'll know what's up anyway.

Anyway. "Six weeks is a kinda CYA," he said, "yanno? We wanna leave space for problems. But this is a pretty straightforward job and I don't think we'll have problems." His goal is to have his end of the work done in time for the countertop people not to have to spread their seven-ten day lag out over Christmas and make it even longer. "If I can avoid that, they can get their install done before Christmas, and we can be done," he said. "That'd be pretty great."

So there's that scoop. I ought to be finding this relaxing, as all I've had to do is be like, available, and I've mostly had my days to myself, but I have found it so stressful to listen to all the crashing and such I haven't really gotten much done. Oh well, it's okay.

I am doing a little mini sewalong with some Discord buddies of a Sew Liberated blouse pattern. So I'll have photos of that at some point. I did manage to get the fabric cut even with my house torn up, which is a considerable achievement.

[thorn-horn]

Things I noticed while rewatching smiling friends

S P O I L E R S

☺ the dust the witch uses is the same as Jason's

☺ gnarly says "I love you" to grim. (We're they lovers)

☺ Charlie claims to not know aliens exist while at the UFO Lookout meeting thing. In the fantasy episode he literally solved a long term conflict between the spiders and aliens

☺ Allan healed from the cruizifizion quickly.

☺ Filmore was in the background while the demon was getting destroyed

☺ Allan's tie is always crinkly

☺ Pim's cowboy hat gets wiggled in the rain

☺ the boss's bowtie looks like an untied tie instead of a bow when he's going crazy in the frowning friends episode

☺ Desmond puts the Dave land shirt on over the shirt he's wearing

☺ despite being able to drive, Allan takes a scooter to work.

☺ glep takes his hat off to pay respects to jason

☺ Allan and glep have the same gardening apron different sizes

☺ the building gets a Santa hat for Xmas so someone had to have put it on the building.

☺ even the devil is nice to fast food workers

☺ Britney dates men of huge influence. She went after Mr. Boss instead of Mr. Frog. We know Mr. Frog is rich and powerful as well. So who's richer?

☺ Jeremy has thing wings implying he could once fly

☺ if Charlie's grandma has a lollipop it implies that she ethier died with it or took it from someone in hell. Same with the rocking chair

☺ Biblies are in hell (thanks Desmond)

☺ in the after credits scene where the devil and Mr. Boss fight, hell is back to normal. Despite denying it, Charlie helped the devil

☺ the devil owns a keyboard (but not a fiddle?)

☺ the earth isn't flat when God sends Charlie back but is at the alien episode.

☺ glep gas a black hat for mourning

☺ if Alan is spraying gwimbly with DIRTY BROWN WATER the water where smiling friends takes place might be heavily polluted.

☺ Allan likely has PTSD from the Bible thing

☺ glep and Allan wear more clothes for vacation than work (they still don't wear shoes tho)

☺ the devil eats salty's

☺ they dine and dash

☺ it's mentioned by Charlie that the tv is broken (in the professor psychotic episode) which is likely the result of James ripping it off

☺ Charlie got the maid outfit quickly which means 1: he had it available 2: there's a shop on the street that sells it or 3: express shipping

☺ allan likes playing games

☺ shrimp are both members of society and food (does that imply cannibalism?)

☺ in America Presidents wear blue or red ties on their suits (red for Republican, blue for Democrat) but jimble wears yellow. Pim wears a red tie with a blue suit. William worm wears a blue suit and tie.

☺ Allan's one night stand wears big boots in bed.

☺ Allan jumped off a building without hesitation for paperclips

☺ idk what's more impressive in An Allan Adventure: the fact that Allan survived or that his stayed tied.

☺ Allan has anger issues

☺ Allan is more scared of a hole in the roof then nearly dying

☺ subway exists within the smiling friends universe

☺ Doug owns an iPhone

☺ Doug doesn't wear a hard hat on the job

☺ Allan and glep collapsed from Jason's dust

[davonati]

I don’t think I’m gonna end up including it, but there is a version of Mt. Gilboa University where Sha’ul tries to kiss/fuck Daveed and then hits him because he’s rejected. This is def partly inspired by Beloved King (plus other interpretations where Saul sexually desires David) but I also think it would be especially good in MGU because it would create a parallel between that and Sha’ul having sex with Rizpah when she was a student. Like, this guy has a certain taste, and it’s not a good one!

It would also be foreshadowed by Yonatan overhearing Daveed about to say that Sha’ul only pays attention to the students when he’s trying to fuck them (I actually don’t know if anyone understood this is what Daveed was about to say LOL but that was the intention). I mean ofc that’s a reference to Rizpah first and foremost, but it could also be foreshadowing.

By now tho, if I did include this point then it would have to be canon that Daveed hid Sha’ul’s advances from Yonatan even when he was telling him that Sha’ul was the one who hurt him… and I don’t know if that makes sense. Honestly I think Yonatan’s revelation from Rizpah (and his accusation of her conspiring with Daveed) could be even more poignant if Daveed had told him that Sha’ul came on to him, but I’m definitely not going to go back and edit that now LOL

[olivia091108]

Drunken haze

Summary:you and Steve o on a night out

Word count: 1342

Pairing:Steve o x reader

The whole of the jackass crew was out celebrating the wrap of jackass the movie at a bar even tho we’re all so fucking tired. I wore a black mini skirt and a crop top which makes my boobs look tit-tastic and wearing some black boots suck look so sexy.

We all got here about 11:30 and got straight into shots before Chris dares me to do a suicide shot and he will buy me my next 5 drinks and that was a done deal even though it hurt like a Bitch all of them cheered me on though and I did try to convince Preston to do it with me but he pussied out

1:00am

Bams walked in carrying a skateboard he must’ve stolen from someone outside and I quickly grabbed my drink off the bar before bam skated across knocking loads of peoples drinks off.

I was dying of laughter clinging onto Ryan so I don’t fall when a biker started to chase bam around the bar cos he knocked his drink and wasn’t paying even though we all know bam has the money.

I don’t know what happened but bam walked back in through the front door and had a huge smile on his face he probably messed with the guy and did something horrible like usual.

1:30

The bar was still thriving which made it even harder for us to get served with the rest of the crowed shouting at the bar tenders to make their drinks. So we lifter wee man over and he grabbed a few bottles from behind the bar and passed them over quickly and we scurried to the back of the bar and I challenged Johnny to a bet

Who’ve can get darf out first chooses the losers punishment

“Dave come do shots!” I get Dave to do 4 shots with me bffs Knox drags him away and it goes back and forth and to be honest I thought darf would be here by now.

I head to the bathroom and as soon as I come out I see darf running about and sweating in peoples faces once he spots me he picks me up and drops me onto ehren and we just watch darf mess about.

“Darf I dare you to snort the salt”Steve o says already making a big line

This goes on for a good hour at least until he started to pick up the chairs and dash it across the bar probably hitting people and he had to be escorted out and Preston left with him saying that he needs to get up early. BORE

3:00

Let’s do some body shots bam shouts and they all get very excited to do it all hoping to do it with me.

Y/n since your the only lovely lady here were drawing tooth picks whoever gets shortest does it.

I slowly see each of their faces drop once they pick their stick until ryan happily shouts that he had the shortest.

Mom the table y/n Ryan tells me I can hear the excitement in his voice

Actually Dunn I was thinking that I do the body shot off you.

Alright but be warned I haven’t showed in a couple days.

I lick his neck and put some salt on put the lime in his mouth and then begin. I slowly lick off the salt making the group oooh and drink the shot no hands and take the kind out his mouth by kissing him a bit wich I hope he enjoyed.

The night carried on like this till 3:45 when everyone was getting tired and wanted to leave

Cmon guys one more hour

Nah it’s late I’m gonna pass out soon

I ahve press in the morning Jeff would kill me if I’m too hungover

Sorry y/n next time

With all of them leaving I knew who I could count on to stay. I grab Steve o’s hand and get on my knees and start begging him to stay

Steve o please you know how much fun we have don’t be boring just another hour.

“Yeah dude.” I jump up and fling myself onto him and he spins em round before we say bye and head back into the bar.

We drink a lot more and still ahve as much fun without them. With Steve o anything could be fun even doing bills he would do something to make me laugh.

5:00

We were the last two inside and they have been asking us to leave but we don’t want to just yet steve o even tried to but the bar so we could stay longer.

I climbed onto the bar and pretended to be a stripper on the counter but when the a manger came out and started to shout at us and call the police I grabbed some tequila and grabbed onto Steve o’s shoulder and he helped me jump down and we ran out of their even with my heals I could outrun him.

“Omg Steve I’m so hungry are you hungry?”

“I’m fucking starving”

“Let’s go and get a kebab”

5:30

We are walking down the street and both devouring the dinner kebab when Steve o makes me laugh so much and I put my hand out to grab onto the pole but miss it by a mile and I just feel my body collide with the floor.

It doesn’t even hurt i just start laughing and hear Steve o begin to aswell until he’s crouching holding his stomach. Once our laughter has died down i see that Steve o dropped the rest of the kebab and I roughly push him.

“M’ tired”

“Samesies my place isn’t far but help me take this stupid boots off please” I bat my eyes at him and he helps me take them off and we both start waking with my boots in my left hand and I try to dodge all the broken glass

It took us twice as long as it should’ve because we were winging to eatchother and he kept putting his whole body weight on me and I thought he fell asleep then and there.

We get to my apartment building and get into the elavator and one of the other men on my floor was in there he looks like he’s going to work. Steve o stands behind him and starts to copy him wich makes us both laugh before receiving a dirty look from him and the rest of the ride up we both laugh while shushing the other.

I fumble with the key and slip it into the lock and swing the door open “stevie cmon your gonna get cold” I grab his hand and pull him up from the floor which I’m sure he would’ve slept on

I keep ahold of his hand and keep a firm grip once his eyes latch onto the sofa and continue to pull him towards my room. We both flop down onto the top of the covers and I start trying to remove my uncomfortable party clothes. Once I slide off my skirt and top I’m left in just my thong and I move over to Steve o and help him get out of his clothes but he’s not moving so it’s a lot harder than I thought.

Stevie please just sit up for literally one second I’m tryna help. He does and I raise his arms and take off his shirt revealing his hot torso I then drag his jeans down leaving him in just his boxers.

“Thanks babe” I love when steve o calls me that even though he calls everyone that I feel special when he says it to me. I slide under the covers and steve o follows suite and he’s just as quick to push himself right up against me and wrap his arms round me and lay his head on my chest using my boobs as pillows and he starts to grope them whispering things to himself and soon we are both asleep when the sun starts to come up.

I love nights out with Steve o

Omg this is actually horrendous they barley even fancied eatchother and that maybe I’ll redo it or just fix it when I have the time

Speaking of I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a week I’ve had so much home work and I’ll try and post more often (I literally only have 19 followers don’t thing anyone noticed lol)

Requests always open 😁

-liv

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

haedcanoms ..... fro anyome yuo can thimkdj of 🙏🙏🙏🙏💥💯💯

this is gonna be. a big block of text. uve enabled me and now im gonna talk for forever. uh. :3333 (also a shit ton of my hcs are just me projecring shjt so.)

okayyyy uh. dave went to private school for like. 4 years. he didnt follow any rules and wouldve definitly gotten expelled ljke 2 weeks in but bro strider is. so fucking rich so he just payed to keep him kn. he still had to wear those stupid ass uniforms tho and now he absolutely hates wearing polo shirts. fuckinf despises them.

sollux??? massive h*r fan he makes a shit ton of uber obscure references that like no one gets but him and he makes liek anyone hes ever had a positive interaction with watch it. aradia also likes it bc he made it like impossible not to if youre close enough to him. he kinda got terezi in2 it and she really likes trogdor.ike REALLY likes trogdor.

speaking of aradia and sollux aradias like a massive goth music fan and they listen to that stuff together like all the time. he listens to more,,, mainstream ig stuff regularly but then aradia makes him listen to her entire collection whenever theyre together

Jane can speak french,,, shes not french or anything in thr SLIGHTEST but she learned it bc like. idk desserts are french sometimes. and she just randomly starts speaking french to be annoying n fuck with ppl. roxys learned a little bit from her so sometimes she does too but. rarely.

terezi sollux and feferi friendship 🙏🙏 thsyre so. important to me. i dont remember how much they imteract all together in canom ik jts at least once but... theyre literally a version of the primary colors please thsyrs so friedn group that youd think would hate eachother but they surprisingly dont

jane crochets also alongside baking. she makes people shit like. all the time and probably spends way too much on yarn. she does it while watching all those dumb sitcoms??? whatever theyte called (like parks and rec and arrwsted development and the good place. that stuff). she also sometimes hamgs out with rose and they crochet/knit together

dirk and roxy make like the most shitpost stupid meme references (more often roxy) and like no one else gets them or rreally finds them funny bc theyre all from like. 2009. or ehatever while roxy n dirk are from. the future (i forgot when and no im not lokking jt up) roxy especially has like. dumb tumblr humor and will say the weirdest shit and no one will get it except dirk

feferi sends sollux videos like "t)(is reely reminds me of you ♥️" and then its a 5 minute jerma laighing at car crashes compilation or some shit.

dave makes that type of music that either sounds like actual shit or really good depending on the person. like uber expirimental fucked up random sfx dumbest lyrics ever etc etc (idk how to describe it but like. if uve listened to like.... queef jerkey thats what im imagining)

if were imagining that quest for the missing spoon exists in homestuck (since the comics do, plus theres other stuff like movies and plushes) dirk definityly had the pepsi blue chilis centerfold cutout on his wall. i also think him and maybe roxy??? quote that shit like not even on purpose CONSTANTLY since it was such a big franchise. also i think itd be funny if people talked ab it like how they talk ab harry potter and shit like "oh my god im SUCH a geromy."

aradia plays cello. like this absolutely fucking massive one too thats like deep reddish wood and its heavy as hell and it shouldnt be feesibly possible for her to carry it around but she can skmehos??? and shes really fucking good too. she likes 2 play for fer friends n partners

feferi adores tmbg esp their earlier stuff but she likes it all. shes got a playlist of every single one of their songs she could get ahold of and badically only listesns to that one playlist. she also knows a shit ton about the band itself and knows fun facts about like every song and will NOT hesitate to infodump whenever something slightly related comes up in conversation.

sollux LOVES classic tetris hes extremely fucking good at it and knows how to do all the weird shit w/ the controller like hypertapping and rolling and honestly probably made up something new. he basically only plays past killscreen (he found an nes somehow and hacked jt to let him start anywhere) and is the type of guy to be like "Oh yeah thii2 2hiit2 ea2y here II'll giive you a begiinner level two." and then. start you at level 29.

i have more i think but i cant remember any besides like "__ is a fan of "__ !!!!!" bc i just live projecting my interests onto characters. again sorry for so many words um. 💔

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Is this a safe space? I got some whining to do.

Not just about the landlady and about how we're gonna be homeless again in a month. No, I got a bone to pick with Dave and I need to vent.

So... how did he fuck up this time, many of you may wonder?

1.) Christmas.

Dave didn't want a turkey or any of the usual Christmas dinner stuff we have. It's literally only the 2nd day a year where we have any of that shit, but he whined about not wanting to do extra work like at Thanksgiving... where he did no work at all. I literally sat in the kitchen with mom for hours. It was hot af, and tiring. In the end, he had to wash a couple plates but that was it. I'm the one who had to go back and forth fetching things, washing and re-washing pots and pans so mom could use them for something new, and stirring shit cuz she couldn't move.

He demanded seafood and stuffed shells for Christmas. Mom told him that shit would be too expensive for people like us. Besides, she would get paid on Dec 22nd, which meant it would be too late to get anything like that as shit would be cleared out. He had the money to get the stuff he wanted early, but decided Food Stamps should pay for most of it first and waited until Christmas Eve. Well, guess what?! Money finally comes in, he waits around, and when he finally goes shopping... there's barely anything left.

He had to buy frozen stuffed shells which were a bit cheaper than making them homemade, but they ended up being disgusting and no one liked the filling which tasted rancid af. So, he left them on the counter for like 10 hours and never touched them. Then bitched cuz no one, not even him, ate them and they sat out all night and had to be thrown out. He managed to get some kind of mini shrimp platter which was basically 28-30 small shrimp around a small container of cocktail sauce. Finally, he had to spend his own actually money to go to some small seafood shop somewhere and get some clams which were expensive as well. We each got like 6 of the world's smallest ass clams ever.

Basically, there was nothing of actual substance for dinner and we all ate mom's pasta salad which was gone in a single sitting.

Then, he wanted pumpkin pie, lemon meringue pie, and some other pie. Mom told him she wasn't making him jack shit cuz he's the only one who likes pumpkin pie in this house, and she made him one just for him at Thanksgiving... and his ass never ate any of it. In fact, he claimed it made him sick(which was him hiding the fact that he'd gotten himself fast food earlier that day, when he knows grease and oil on french fries make him sick). Bethy narked on him wasting money on Thanksgiving Day when we were already making dinner, and he stuck to his claims and ended up leaving that pie to sit in the fridge on the top shelf and never touched it. He got himself fast food a couple days later and... got sick again. And mom was like, "Let me guess... the ice cream made you sick so now you won't need to touch it and the rest of us can have it?" And he threw a fit.

Dave had to buy his precious pie for himself... And refused to fucking read direction so guess what? He left it in too long and burned it. Mom had placed a special order for quick delivery and got the rest of us different pies to share so everyone would get something for dessert. They just ended up being mostly whipped cream and a slight hint of flavor and were lame af tho. I was especially mad cuz she informed everyone of who got what and Dave literally went right behind everyone's backs and took like a quarter of each of the other pies in one sitting and left his burnt as one on the table for days.

2.) Landlady's Possessions

Some may recall me mentioning how in our first 2 weeks here, Dave managed to break the tempered glass stove top and tried to hide it? Well, not only has he not replaced that after finally coming clean about it and claiming it would be and easy replacement to handle, but he also broke the handle to the landlady's washer/dryer set, and the faucet in the bathroom sink which is why we haven't been able to wash our hands there this whole time. We've gotten use the shower to the kitchen sink if cleanliness is truly so important.

Mom ended up having to place the dryer handle the other night. Dave still won't mention the stove top though. He claims he can fix the faucet but won't acknowledge how if he doesn't fix the stove top, he's not getting the last month's rent and security back(which would be about $2,600). The house will NOT be as it was when he moved it because of HIM and that WILL be $2,600 down the drain. So, despite all that bitching, he's doing nothing as per usual.

3.) Waste

He's still wasting food. The first point should have gotten that across pretty well but it goes beyond.

I made pasta 2 nights ago. We had alfredo sauce, and I had some cans of chicken I was hiding away for a just such an occasion to spruce it up, yk? It took like half an hour, but it was done right as they walked in the door at 6 PM. I got mom and I some food, Bethy got her own food, and then we ate.

His ass never ate dinner. In fact, he got on the phone to whoever the fuck to bitch about how tired he was of not getting to eat full meals. Rigatoni in chicken and alfredo sauce was sitting in a massive pot int he kitchen, and his ass wouldn't touch it. Same as usual. There was enough for him but when I went out, he didn't touch it even after hours, so I had to put it away.

He never puts the food away, no matter who makes it. I often go into the kitchen at midnight to find all of dinner left everywhere. Much has gone to waste even because he won't fucking help.

So today, mom was supposed to make stuffed peppers. She got all the shit for it, but Dave suddenly whines and bitches, like he's never had them before and doesn't know how they're made, "What's in them?" Mom explains slowly cuz he's that fucking dumb. "I don't want tomato sauce, I'll get heartburn!" "We've always had them that way, and you've always had heartburn, yet you never complained before." "Well, I don't want it now! I'm fucking tired of tomato sauce!"

We haven't had tomato sauce in over a month cuz he specifically won't buy it unless Bethy is there to put it in the cart. He demands mom uses alfredo sauce in the stuffed peppers instead... and it was awful. I've never needed so much salt in my life. Dave lost the garlic powder so much of the flavor was missing, and rice covered in alfredo sauce is NOT good. I was very displeased. Once again, we do shit to cater to Dave and once again, it ends up being a failure cuz guess what? He didn't fucking eat any. There were enough for everyone to have at least 2 with 2 left over. There are 6 remaining. I ate 2 with extra rice on the side, mom had 1, and Bethy had 1. Dave didn't even eat them... cuz he ended up not liking them even when mom told him it wasn't going to end up well.

All that bitching and forcing us to change how we usually do things, only to not only NOT eat the thing that was made to his specifications, but then he spent the night bitching about being hungry when his ass could make spaghetti and alfredo sauce for himself if he was so desperate for food. We have ground beef and ground turkey. Canned chicken. Mac n' cheese. Different types of soup. He was not starving or going without, he was just lazy. After all that talking, he did nothing at all.

4.) Not reading the lease.

Withholding details of the lease from us and not bothering to read it clearly and now acting like he did nothing wrong the entire time.

~.O.~

The one thing Dave isn't at fault for, is the landlady's behavior.

This house has a separate garage that wasn't part of the lease. She's not having it slightly remodeled, and her ex-husband is adding an electric garage door. He had to come in and check the breaker with his electrician friend and they were mumbling to each other about her plans. She DOESN'T want to move in, she wants to rent out the house and garage together for a higher price.

I'm so mad I am practically fuming.

We're getting hit by everything, and to have this news dumped on us right before Christmas has just soured the holidays entirely. We've already begun packing our things, but we have no plan on where to go and nowhere to even put our stuff again. We have 6 weeks left and I'm just so tired.

[GFM] [Ko-Fi]

[quackle]

fav and least fav characters from each gen?

gen 1- favs are leshawna and noah (aka the og definition of robbed in s1 and s3 respectively), least fav is duncan (i have many mixed feelings about you sir)

gen 2- favs are dawn and anne maria (they should have come back... i miss them...), least fav is staci (great lies tho queen!)

gen 3- favs are jasmine and ella (jasmine was a great competitor, ella was just funny af to me) least fav is dave (literally had to stop my teen self from fighting the tv screen every time his face popped up)

gen 4- favs are nichelle + damien (this should be obvious if you know me), least fav is chase (you will pay for your crimes against emma..........)

rr: fav is kitty (i genuinely love her so much omg), least fav is... uh......... actually, i can't decide on this one. i might have to rewatch to pinpoint, but right now, my mind's blank on a least fav

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

dave filoni is amazing and brought us one of the most incredible pieces of star wars media. i love the jedi but holy fuck, some of you in this fandom are just so rabid and bitter. we are allowed to critique things the jedi did and doesn't mean we're anti jedi! things can have nuance.

the jedi are also portrayed very favorably in tcw. we see how much they care about the clones, we seem them acting like a family and being wise and brave. portraying them as flawed just makes them more interesting and layered, it doesn't take away from how good they are.

rabid pro-jedi blogs are making this fandom as hostile as those awful anti-jedi blogs. can you all please just start being normal???

Anon, are you aware that I made a pretty long post saying exactly that (minus the rabid and bitter part) a while back? Here, you can check:

That's me saying Filoni doesn't hate the Jedi and TCW portrays them very positively and he contributed to that.

Or how about this one, about allowing the Jedi to have more nuance:

That's me saying I find frustrating the lack of acknowledgment of how messy some aspects of the Order and that's me talking about adoptions.

Or this one.

Or THIS ONE:

And here's what I said about why their flaws aren't my focus though (and why it bothers me when those flaws become the focus of canon):

I’ll explore the Jedi’s flaws when I write, but I’ll always, always, always talk about how good they were a lot, lot, LOT more. And the reason why is quite simple: I feel like Jedi criticism is nitpicky and pointless, because talking about any flaws of theirs is not only beating a dead horse, but beating a horse that’s so dead it’s been decomposing for fifteen years.  Everything has been said on the subject of the Jedi’s faults - most of which I don’t agree with, but some that I’ll readily recognize (because again, they’re not meant to be perfect). But what is the point of talking about what the Jedi did wrong after a while? Even supposing they were half as flawed as the fandom makes them out to be (which they aren’t) so what? They all died. Their children died. Their history, art and philosophy were completely erased from the galaxy. Most of their legacy was forgotten.  Whatever punishment they might have deserved for not paying enough attention - or too much - to a prophecy, for failing to untangle Sidious’ web, for being blind to a lie or another when they were too busy dying on the front lines to see clearly, for failing to save all the clones, for failing to protect all the Padawans… Whatever punishment this all deserved, they received a hundred times over. 

I don't LIKE that the narrative that's being pushed more and more is that 'they were too beholden to the Senate' when it offers no other viable alternative for what they should have done and their indictment comes from a character pulling the strings of the Senate in the shadows so that the freaking 'coming darkness' he's """"warning"""" them about can become a galactic dictator.

I don't hate Filoni. I may poke fun at him and be annoyed at what he's doing, but I don't hate him. TCW wasn't just a Dave thing tho, GL was still around to supervise, and the more I see of Dave's work without GL around, and the greater creative freedom he gets, the more I'm disappointed that this is where Star Wars is going. That's all.

But point me to one of my rabid posts please. The majority of my TOTJ posts (if that's what this is about) have been either positive, nitpicky or neutral.

I'm not making the fandom "hostile" by disliking things sometimes, anon, I'm making MY blog SALTY. And I either tag that salt, or I don't tag much so that the salt doesn't show up in the general tags so that people in the fandom who don't agree won't have to see it.

If I'm not behaving 'normally' according to you - and you're perfectly entitled to think that, I AM pretty bitchy - you can stop seeing my stuff pretty easily. But please don't come at me anonymously to put a larger fandom issue onto me.

[daedalusdavinci]

Eridave Fic Recs

im 99% sure ive already offered my fic recs for eridave but im going to do it again. i havent gone through the tag in a couple of years and it seems like its gotten more popular than it was back in the day, but heres my list of top fics

Lee Shore

by JumpingJackFlash (@jumpingjacktrash on tumblr i think?)

"I asked Egbert to ask you if you have Ampora's new contact information." "No, man, I didn't even know the old info was old. How can you not have a contact for him? It's not like he changed his chumhandle, email, and phone number all at once." "As a matter of fact, that is apparently exactly what he did. And deleted his Facebook and his photo blog." "Dramariffic." In the years after the game, the twelve trolls and eight humans have tried to stick together, because no one else would understand. When Eridan misses one of their yearly reunions, Dave makes an impulsive decision to go find him.

starting off so strong with THE eridave fic. i have reread this one very recently actually so i can tell you w complete confidence that this is the best one. this is THE one. if you only ever read one eridave fic make it this one. and then come back and read mine no but like im being so real rn its so good. eridans pretentious and a dickwipe and juuust whiny enough and daves complete no bullshit attitude with him works so well. their dynamic is peak in this, like. its everything.

Prince Unicorn (If There's Anything More Important Than My Ego Around, I Want It Caught And Shot Now)

by spritezee

After years spent mastering his job-hopping skills on the interplanetary level, a combination of chance and fortunate family ties lands one Dave Strider a job as a personal bodyguard to Eridan Ampora, prince and heir to an almost unparalleled fiscal empire. He assumes it’ll be just another job he’ll be able to leave behind when the time comes, another story to tell on slow nights where the man with the most tales is the king of the universe, but as all things in life, nothing is ever quite that simple.

spritezee writes some of the best eridave fics out there. this one in particular is my favorite. its not only a space au but its really a love letter to the scifi genre and you can tell just reading through it that a lot of care went into the worldbuilding. dave and bros relationship is a total mess in a way thats honestly really interesting, and zee always writes a great dynamic for eridan and dave. plus, you HAVE to admit thats a great fucking title

Little Brother

by spritezee

When John asked you if you were feeling any better yet earlier you told him you were fucking lonely as balls and considering changing your occupation to prostitute so you could find your own personal Edward Lewis to pay you loads of money for standing around and looking pretty. Then you told him you’d always wanted to have sex on a piano, so it’d all work out fine. The reference went straight over his head, which in hindsight should not have surprised you in the least because Pretty Woman isn’t really John’s usual genre, and even if it had been it’s not anywhere near obscure and shitty enough to catch his eye. When Rose asked you the same thing a few minutes later you told her you discovered the small store at the far side of your street carries penis-shaped candles and that you now swore by watching them slowly burn down right to the waxen ballsack as a therapeutic relaxation technique.

again, always a great eridan and dave dynamic w this author. if it wasnt really clear by the summary, this fic in particular is fucking hilarious and dave and his wandering metaphors are a lot of fun in it.

other than that, tho, all of my recommendations are just going to be more of spritezees fics, so i REALLY recommend that you just save me the time and go check out their stuff yourself. if i ever delve back into the eridave tag ill make sure to let yall know if i find any bangers

[overpoweredcacti]

S17 Ep5 post-watch recap

I have way too many thoughts, this is going to be long and probably disjointed.

So I feel like a lot happened, but at the same time not really? Overall though, so far I'm really here for this Gold Star mystery and the MK Ultra/behavior modification/Frankenstein's monster stuff around it, I just hope they commit to it? I know so far they've made it a point multiple times how it's a "conspiracy theory" and it's "based on a half-truth" and so on but at the same time things just don't add up? Most notably, if the government has nothing to do with this, why would they care enough to hide it? Who has enough influence to stage Emily's arrest etc?

Anyway, since this was very complex I'll try to break it down to characters.

Damien/Jade

Honestly? I'm really enjoying them so far? They have a fun dynamic?Wish I knew their actual ages, maybe it was shown and I just didn't pay attention. I think Aiden was around 26? So I'm assuming they are around the same , give or take 2-3 years. So these 2 meet up, 1 is dead ("assassinated by the FBI", which is an interesting way to phrase it. I wonder if that will come back on either Rossi or Emily. One giving the order, the other following it.) And Peter and Dana are 'missing', and we have no idea what they look like. Okay, cool.

So they are tech savy enough to operate Voit's network (wasn't that used to be a weather app lol? That whole comment on people posting their racist opinions on that neighbor app, which was featured in ep 3 too, seems like a reference that my not-american brain is not clicking with) and they can put together bombs. It was weird that nobody picked up on the fact that Jade has to be in the park to make that call? Why was everyone just standing in a circle and worrying when they could have sent people to scour the area lol All the while ignoring Voit who was at least smart enough to not run.

Voit

So Voit. This little shit. Every scene he was in I just kept repeating 'you little shit'. Very entertaining bordering on frustrating. His whole demeanor of being like a kid in candy store was funny I'll admit that. That first scene with him going "Dave Dave Dave" took me out. My dude is def dying by the end of the season tho. They can't keep him around for much longer. And I honestly can't tell if him doing morse code was meant to be noticed by the team or not. Because I'm thinking that he is in fact making up the identity of "North Star" and trying to get someone killed? Also, that reveal that he gave the identity of the strike team to Damien? Chef's kiss. He's truly Hannibal Lectering this season. Aaand he has a point with Garcia and Tyler and that whole fiasco last season. I'm glad they are bringing that up because that should have some kind of consequence. (Voit giving them a ship name tho? And talking about carbon footprints? I'm not sure I like him sounding like stan twitter. I mean it's obviously a reference for the fandom to get, but still. It's...a writing choice for sure.)

Garcia/Tyler/Luke

I'm lumping them together because the show is apparently committing to the love triangle bit. Which I'm not that big of a fan of, in general.

This might be an unpopular opinion but the more episodes we have the more I feel like the show doesn't really know what to do with Garcia this season? Like that entire exchange in her office, that ends up with them being back in the bullpen? It was...weird? So Voit smells, okay, cool, did we need to spend this much time on this? It honestly felt like a waste of time that didn't lead anywhere because we are back at the bullpen anyway? Like, narratively, what was the point here?

Luke is still not checking on JJ after throwing a bomb on her, cool lol. Love that he was the one deciphering the morse code tho, and that he dismantled the bomb. Love it when the show remembers character traits.

Tyler remains another frustrating part of this season for me? Everytime he does something where I go "hey cool, that's nice, I kinda like you" he immediately does something else where I go "okay, go fuck yourself now". Like, doing off-the-books work for Emily? Great, cool, love it. And then goes behind her back like it's nothing. So 'Teresa' might be an actual person, but the phrase could also be relevant? Maybe it's another anagram, idk. Either way he's warning someone while keeping Emily in the dark. In conclusion, I don't trust him lol.

Emily

So the framed arrest/mugshots are coming into play, that's great, I'm glad there was a point to that. (Weird choice to drop the name of an actual existing website as the leak but okay). Someone is really out to get her that is connected to this whole ordeal but there's no indication it's either Damian or Jade. Someone also convinced Brian to change face. Also, was he trying to gaslight her? Is that going to be a part of Emily's "breakdown arc" that she is questioning her own sanity? That could be interesting. Or, we are going full scifi and they made him somehow forget his previous alignments. Seems unlikely, but who knows. Anyway, she is on restricted duty and is clearly over it. Just, everything. Great scene by the end. She was going to back to her "spy roots" and moral grayness and it's slowly breaking her. Genuinely think she is one of the most complex characters of this entire show. (Shout out to her speaking Russian too. I know it's just a phrase but it's a nice callback.) Love her bond with Rossi as well. And just all her scenes, great. If there's a character I'm really happy with this season, it's Emily.

Rossi

Honestly not that much to talk about? For the audience this is not the first time he interacts with Voit, but great scenes. He is also losing it, clearly. Maybe I expected a bit more? Confusion, at least? As in, having a hard time differentiating with the real Voit and his halluciVoit?

JJ

I'm biting my fist every time JJ is on screen because I'm just so nervous how that is going to end. She is clearly not okay, everyone is dealing with something and not taking notice of her issues. Loved to see her in charge on the field. She was also the only one competent enough to finally tell someone to shoot the wheels, lmao.

Tara

Tara wasn't given a lot this episode tbh. She was aiding Luke, sure, but this may have been her least active episode. So we have the scene with Rebecca losing her shit, that she's in danger, okay. I mean, they are cute? Wish they would talk more instead, but cute scene at the end, none the less.

I have absolutely no idea where the next episode is going lol. I expected a cliffhanger, we didn't get a cliffhanger. Zero clue as to what comes next.