#dazai hurt/comfort

[simp-is-here]

Reaching For Hope: Dazai Osamu x FemReader

Warning: HEAVY ANGST, before story miscarriage, self harm, ptsd, struggling to cope, probably ooc Dazai, hope at the end, if there’s anymore please let me know

Summary: After the two of you go through a devastating loss Dazai tries his hardest to try to bring you back and see you smile again

(A/n: I am terribly sorry for anyone who has ever gone through this, and I’m sorry if I trigger or make anyone upset with my writing. I hope I didn’t inaccurately write this, I’m very sorry if I did and will do better in the future)

No matter how much he reaches out to you, there was always something that pulled you back.

He sat beside your chair, telling you about his day. But just like before you only stared out the window blankly, not even your breaths broke the silence of the room. Your hand was loosely laying in the hold of his grip, not even a twitch of acknowledgment.

“-And then he asked why I wasn’t done my paperwork.” He chuckled glanced back towards you, the slightest bit of hope that you’d laugh at the story like you used too.

The hope was once again crushed by your distanced gaze towards the window. You had been like this since you found out, your words stopped, and even when you did look at someone it was as though you were looking through them.

A soft knock on the door disturbed the silence, a nurse held a clipboard to her chest and walked a couple steps into the doorway.

“Mr. Dazai, I’m very sorry but it’s time for her to sleep.” She told him, putting the clipboard down and making her way over to you

You stood with her help, as though you were a ragdoll. The covers were draped over your body before the nurse made her way back to the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Dazai told you, kissing the wedding band on your hand before exiting the room.

After the nurse closed the door he stopped her before she could continue her rounds.

“When can I take her home?” He asked her, he had been asking this question for what felt like months

“Soon, we just need to make sure she’s not a danger to herself.” The nurses calm tone made his frustration build

He tried his best not to squeeze her arm, with a quick recovery he let her go. Waving her goodbye as he goes to leave.

“But…”

He turned at her words, wanting. no. needing some good news.

“If you get permission from the doctor you can take her out for a little bit. Some familiar faces might cause a reaction. Just remember to keep an eye on her, and make sure she has paper or plastic stuff so she doesn’t see herself.” She informed him, patting his shoulder before continuing with her rounds

••••

“Atsushi hasn’t stopped asking about you. Everyday I come into work he asks me how you are before anything else.” Dazai says as he teases the white haired boy in front of him

“Hey! It’s not everyday.” Atsushi replies, his cheeks warming a bit

“It might as well be, it’s like your new routine.” Dazai comments, hoping to get at least a look of amusement from you

“He’s right, you do.” Kyouka said bluntly

“Huh!? Well, maybe I ask a lot.” Atsushi scratches his head with an awkward smile on his face

You haven’t replied to anyone yet, your gaze was fixated on the bun that was on your plate.

“Dazai!” Kunikida’s voice echoed a bit

“Hey Kunikida. Come to join the party?” Dazai asked with a fun wave

He came up to the brunette and started shaking him by his collar, steam practically coming out of his ears.

“Don’t think you can get away with leaving all your work unfinished! I came into the office only to find all of your work on my desk!!”

The violent shaking caused your coffee to fall over, ruining your untouched meal and spilling onto your lap.

“Are you alright!? Here let me clean it up.” Atsushi panicked, wiping the coffee with thin napkins so it doesn’t spill anywhere else

Kyouka took the plate and the coffee cup, and went off to find a place to toss it out.

“Hey, uh. I’m out of napkins. Does anyone know where they have more?” The white haired boy asked holding the soggy paper in his hands

“Well don’t just hold those, throw them out before you make an even bigger mess.” Kunikida told him, letting go of Dazai to find more napkins

“Don’t think you’re getting away with this Dazai.” He quickly scolded once again

Dazai held up his hands plastering a smile onto his face.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

When he turned back to face you, you were gone from your seat. He looked around but couldn’t find you.

“How much coffee was in that-“ the blonde got cut off by the look on Dazai’s face

“What’s-“

A crash alerted everyone’s attention to the bathroom, fear overtook Dazai as the crashes continued.

‘So she doesn’t see herself’

‘So she doesn’t see herself’

‘So she doesn’t see herself’

He slammed the door open only to see you repeatedly slamming your arms into the mirror, tears flowing down your blank face.

“Y/N!” He called, going over to you, trying to pry your hands away from the broken mirror

You yanked your hands back and kept slamming them into the shards, blood seeping from your skin and onto the counter.

“Stop!” He managed to turn your body away from the mirror but was greeting by the harsh slap of your hand

He froze in place, the sting still lingering on his cheek. Slowly he turned his head back to you, the blank look in your eyes was replaced with regret and guilt, your mouth opened no words came out.

He guided your head to his shoulder and held you close as your sobs left your gasping into his coat. He followed you to the floor when your knees gave out, he caught sight of the paramedic in the doorway ready to take you back to the hospital. He raised your head from his shoulder and wiped your tears away.

“We’re gonna get up, okay?” He told you, your nod in response would have made him overjoyed if not for the circumstances

He got you up and led you to the ambulance, blocking your view of everyone’s pity filled expressions, it would only send you further down this road of madness.

The pain he felt as he was washing your blood off his hands, your home felt so empty without you there.

He wants so desperately to reach out to you again, but he’s losing hope.

••••

Time after that incident merged together, he had been allowed to see you again 2 weeks ago, the routine of visiting everyday came back.

Everytime he was there you were in your usual spot staring out the window, but now that the blank look was gone he was finally able to recognize the emotions hidden in your eyes.

Longing

When you went to bed he looked out the window from your chair and knew what you were staring at, behind a couple of trees was the park that the two of you met at, back when everything was simple and sweet.

With permission from the doctor he walked you to the park, revealing where you were visiting as though you had been wearing a blindfold. He sat you down at the base of one of the trees, the stars twinkling above you.

“Now, I know I’ve never told you this but, I’d been watching you for a bit before we met.” He admitted, raising his bandage covered arm to point at an area

“You would always be right there, you’d be reading, painting, bird watching, everything you did was always in that spot.” He placed his hand back down beside yours

“Then finally I actually met you, do you remember how clumsy you were? I was reading when I suddenly got run into by this girl in the most wild looking shirt ever she dropped paint all over my shoes. What was it again that I compared your shirt to?” He asked himself, trying to remember

A hand placed itself on his, interlocking the fingers.

“A carpet.” You said

He turned to you in shock, when he looked at you finally you were looking back at him. The corners of your mouth twitching a bit.

“Yeah.” He said breathlessly

He rubbed your hand with his thumb and smiled to himself.

“I liked those shoes too.”

The snort you let out was like music to his ears, he couldn’t stop himself from letting a tear fall at the sight of your smile, no matter how small I was, it was still your smile.

You placed your head on his shoulder, fiddling with his fingers. His soft lips kissed your head, speaking silent words that had finally grown loud enough for you to hear.

Your words spoke back as you kissed the ring on his finger, locking your fingers together again once you set your hands back down.

He didn’t need to reach out to you anymore, you were finally here with him.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

(Please do not post my work anywhere else without mentioning that it’s written by me)

Thank you for reading. If you have any requests just send them to me and I’ll try to write them to the best of my ability

And remember you are a fantabulous human being and that is my opinion to which you can not change my opinion so better just accept that you’re an amazing person who is doing a fantastic job. Keep up the great work. Have a good day or night or whatever you’re reading this at

Request

[blake-elladonna]

𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢

💌 - 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 📮 - 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 🎊 - 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

💔 - 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 🧸 - 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 ☁️ - 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 🤍 - 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 ❤️‍🩹 - 𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭

𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭? 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭? 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

💌 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬

𝐓𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞: 𝟏𝟑 𝐦𝐢𝐧. 𝟓𝟓 𝐬𝐞𝐜.

☀️ 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 💌 ☁️ Dazai knows how to start each day right.

🐈 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 💌 💔+🧸 Due to a special visitor, Dazai reminisces about his past.

⌛️ 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 💌 💔 Dazai wishes he had more, with you.

🥃 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐀𝐠𝐞 💌 🤍 You and Dazai — former members of the Port Mafia — make an announcement to Ango and Oda.

🌳 𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 💌 💔 You ask Dazai a question. “Have we met before?”

🌌 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 💌 🧸 Port Mafia Dazai — your escort — was given a job to protect you — a special member of the Mafia. You shouldn’t be scared of someone meant to protect you.

🏫 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐲 💌 ❤️‍🩹+🧸 Dazai — the bold jock — teaches your bullies a lesson before he reassures you it will be okay.

🔏 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 💌 🤍+❤️‍🩹 Dazai is forced to acknowledge his past. From those dear to him, to those who betrayed him; while sitting in the place he never expected himself to end up — prison therapy.

🐕 𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 💌 ☁️+🤍 You and Dazai — partners in crime — ran into some trouble while perusing what seemed to be an in and out job.

📮 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬

𝐍/𝐀

🎊 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

♡ 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞’𝐬 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ♡

♡ 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞 ♡ 💌 🎊 ☁️+🤍 In the middle of the night, you receive a phone call from the police informing you an unknown person used their one phone call on you. But upon arrival, you realize they aren’t so unknown after all. It is your previous partner — Osamu Dazai.

← 𝐆𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

© 2022-2023 @blake-elladonna™ — all copyrights reserved. Please do not translate, steal, repost or claim my writing or ideas as your own. Click here for further details.

[akutails]

STANDING IN THE RAIN. - dazai osamu

✁you and dazai have little in common, grief is one of them.  warning: grief, loss, no one really dies in this but there are mentions of dead people. notes: decided to repost this but with more feeling, because i initially wrote this without much experience of grief, but after my loss i decided to add some more of my thoughts :) repost from @[yatsugareboyf]

dazai isn’t unfamiliar with grief . in fact, he almost finds comfort in it with how long it stuck around him. he grieves everyday, whenever he passes happy little kids playing the park, whenever he sees a curry place that just opened, hell, whenever he sees his own coat. everyday, dazai is reminded that he is still very much under the hostage of grief.

he knew that he isn’t the only person in the world to experience grief, everyone does at some point. it’s a universal thing. but he only knew recently that you have been grieving too.

which is why you didn’t say a single word when you spotted him sitting against a headstone one cold afternoon. you merely stared at him before walking away to go to your own headstone to sit against. usually, you’d be smiling at him, beckoning him to come closer to coming closer yourself, but today you barely acknowledged his existence as you situate yourself quietly, only a few moments away.

he looked in your direction to see your back facing him. you were standing and looking down at the grave in front of you. you didn’t bring anything except for a small convenience-store-bought coffee. were you mumbling? were you saying anything? were you just staring? he couldn’t tell from the distance. were you crying? he would’ve known if it hadn’t started raining.

since he was under a tree, he never felt it coming, but you were there, still standing on a grave, holding a stale cup of coffee without a care in the world. in a span of a few second, your whole body was soaked in rainwater and the earth under your feet started to mud. you seemed to not mind, since you still stood there. and he understood why.

grief is such a complex thing. it pulls people away from their families and their beliefs, it turns people into cold-hearted murderers and serial killers, it makes people lose their sanity and well-being, and it drives people to stand in mud while it’s raining.

the pain that grief causes one person is immeasurable. you can never truly comprehend whether or not you’ll ever see the end of you grief, nothing can “cure” grief. you can still be happy, successful, blessed with all the riches in the world, and you’ll still be grieving because no amount of things in the world can bring the dead back to life.

even if you flip the world upside down, travel the world in search of an answer, finish the book they never got to finish, create a world where they could finish said book and live happily in peace, they’re still dead, and you’re still alive. you will forever live on without them, even if there is an afterlife waiting for the two of you.

the time you spend grieving them, avenging them, or giving them the peace they deserve, it'll never amount to the time you spent with them. nothing could ever truly replace the hole in your heart where someone used to be, and it will always be sore, always be longing for a fill, a fix, or a replacement. you search the world for an answer, a distraction, a solution, and yet whatever you do it will never be the same again.

so standing in the rain was the least of your worries, and dazai osamu understood. not enough time in the world could heal you, you only get used to the pain.

he stands by you a minute later, not sparing a glance at the grave you’ve been staring at for the past 20 minutes. he looks up at the sky and then at you, who didn’t mind his sudden presence. you knew he was here, after all.

“that coffee probably has rain water already, belladonna.”

you didn’t answer him, but you seemed to snap out of your trance and examined the drenched paper cup that still had “coffee” in it, if you can still call it coffee.

“it’s not for me.”

he knew not to ask for who, what relationship you had with the grave your visiting, anything, really. it’ll come one day. he also can’t bear the inevitable “what about you?” question that comes right after, not right now.

“why are you standing in the rain? you were perfectly fine under that tree.”

“i could ask you the same thing.”

you chuckle emptily, and he wishes he never heard it. it was so devoid of emotion, so far from what he hears from you everyday. it wasn't sadness or anger or disbelief, it was nothing. the nothing you feel when they're forever gone.

“love and grief makes you do silly things, no? like stand in the rain.”

love and grief made dazai leave the only “home” he’s ever known to pursue a life he knew nothing about, the complete opposite of his previous life. it made him finally try to become a better person, see the world through the eyes of someone who wants to live. the biggest change in his life, and he doesn’t even know if he’s doing it right.

he has a ghost of a smile on his lips, “yeah. stand in the rain.”

the two of you stand in the rain with no clear motive of leaving anytime soon. after a few moments have passed, you placed the coffee besides the headstone and faced the tall man besides you.

“let’s go?”

you nod silently, letting dazai hold your hand softly as he guides you away from the grave.

╰─▸ ❝ @[akutails]'s work is not open to reposts, plagiarism, and the likes. (09/13/22). reposted from @[yatsugareboyf].

[originalartblog]

Question, is there tiny soukoku corruption??????

With big Chuuya around I don't think Tiny would ever need to use Corruption. His tiny gravity manipulation isn't as strong.

But you got it in my head so let's picture it: there is this 3cm-tall dude that faintly glows red and throws deadly baseballs around. He's fast, dangerous, and, again, 3cm tall. Good luck catching, or even spotting him.

It's Chuuya who ends up having to catch him and throw him at Dazai like a ping pong ball so Dazai can nullify him. Or maybe throw Tinyzai at him. Your pick.

and then Tiny rolls over and starts snoring the hurt away because he's Chuuya and he's just built different.

tiny snore

[cloudysleepingzone]

While on the outside Dazai seems like a carefree flirty man with not much else going for him but his devilishly handsome looks, around you he is a completely different person. When around you he feels like he doesn't need to hold anything back from you. But regardless of how many times he tells himself that or even you telling him, he can never let himself be vulnerable completely. Never.

In front of others, Dazai is different than when it's just you and him in a private setting. Even when he starts to spiral into the dark pit of his own thoughts he can never bring himself to open up to you all the way, what if you leave? What if you stop loving him? What if you never want to see him again all together?

These stupid thoughts plague him at any slight weakness he shows to you, he could cry into your chest for HOURS and still, his mind won't let him.

"Hey it's alright.. " you run your fingers through his slightly unkept brown hair, trying to soothe him the best you can. "Do you want to talk about it...?" Just that question alone makes his mind want to go blank, he won't answer. He can't. He won't.

Even once he had partially calmed down and is clinging onto your sides, his face buried into your neck as you try to make something to eat for the two of you. His worn out bandages dangle under his arms, the wraps around his neck dropped to his chest. Dazai is always so clingy after any kind of meltdown he has, despite him saying nothing, the silence alone carries enough pain.

He clings onto you for dear life as if you'll walk out the door and leave him any minute...nothing else to do other than cover him in affections...

[bee-writes-n-spins]

the mask goes on the minute other people look.

make eye contact. too much, look away. now smile and nod. stop bouncing your leg. make them like you.

those are his thoughts. because too many people have called him weird. too many people have pointed and laughed. too many people made fun of him for just being himself.

oh, but you..

you remind him it's okay to unmask. you smile, listening to him ramble about his interests. you could listen for hours and never get bored.

when you notice his discomfort in a crowd. when you help him communicate when he's too overwhelmed to talk.

with you, the ribbon that holds the mask together comes undone. with you, his mask falls to the ground.

POE, RANPO, dazai, GIYUU, kenma, l lawliet, near, WANDERER, AL HATHIAM, kaveh, LYNEY, and any of your autistic favorites!

[lukall705]

Hii!! Can I req Chuuya x SH reader? Can be both angst and fluff, you don't have to tho if you don't wanna <3

𝓒𝓱𝓾𝓾𝔂𝓪 𝔁 𝓖𝓝! 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is another thing i didn't expect people to request, and it brings me so much comfort when i find sh comfort fanfics:(

If you are struggling with sh please know i'm always open to talk if you want:) and i'll try to comfort you to the best of my ability! (i'm usually not on here during the day so you can ask me for my discord in dms)

I'M SO SRRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE I REALLY NEEDED A BREAK SINCE I WAS SO STRESSED FROM SCHOOL 😭

Also, English isn't my first language so please dont mind any spelling errors!!

TW: SH, gore? Talk about fresh SH cuts, Might be ooc😓 please tell me if i missed anything!

Words: 1,3k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sometimes in life things don't go the rigth way, is what people say, they say "sometimes in life things don't go the way we want, but thats just how it is"

But right now it felt like absolutely nothing was going the right way, you felt like the whole world was against you, like you were some useless peace of garbage that could be thrown out at anytime, like there was no one in this damn world that would sit down and listen to your pityfull problems. you were at your abselut worst.

And the only thing that could help the with it was the razor in your hand, which is cutting your thigh. you move almost like a robot, you don't even feel the pain of the razor anymore. everything seems like a dream, all the blood coming out of your cuts and dripping and mixing in with the water of the bathtub, your vision being slightly blury.

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you bring your razor to your Radial vein. you shake slightly as you look down at your wrist debating if you should cut it or not.

As you start breathing faster you look at the suicide note you left on the chair next to the bathtub. you wondered how long it would take for chuuya to find you, would he even care if you died?

you feel tears start to run down your face and you start to sniffle uncontrollably.

As you're about to cut the vein you hear a loud knock on the door, "[name]? baby are you in there..?" your boyfriend chuuya asks in a quiet voice.

You quickly wipe your tears and panic a bit as you didn't lock the door since you weren't expectinc chuuya to come home this early, "Y-yeah.." you say trying to not sound sad, but knowing chuuya he most likely heard the saddnes in your voice.

"Darling.. is something wrong..?" He asks in a conserned voice, "i'm just.. washing my hair" you try to come up with an exuse while your whole body is shaking. "Darling, you washed your hair yestarday tho? are you really okay in there..?"

'Damn i forgot about that' you think while trying to find a place to hide the razor. While you panic you some how bump into the soaps and knock them down making a loud noise. "Baby are you okay? i'm coming in" he says and opens the door, "NO WAIT!" but before you can stop him, he has already opened the door and seen your cuts.

.....

.....

After a few moments of silence and staring at each other, chuuya finally makes a move closer to you.

"...Chuuya.. please i'm sorr-.." You try to explain but your voice starts to shake and you feel a lump in your throat. "...shh.." He quitelly walks closer to you and wipes the small tears that have started to for in your eyes.

"...I'm so sorry.. i k-know i said i'd.. try to stay clean for you.. i tried my best.. i swear.. i'm sorry.. please.. p-please don't get mad.." You sob as more and more tears start falling from your eyes. Your vision is starting to blur from all the tears, so much so that you can't even see chuuya anymore.

"....shh... darling.. i would never be mad at you.. what could ever make you think that..? i understand how hard it is to recover from something like this.." He whispers into your ear while holding you close, not even caring about the blood staining his clothes.

All you can do is cry and cry, you cant even manage to answer his question, all that came out if your mouth were pityfull sobs and 'i'm so sorry'. Chuuyas shoulder was becoming wet form all the tears but he didn't mind, he would do anything just so that you could feel better.

After some time of Chuuya trying to comfort you and trying to get you to tell what happened, did you finally calm down slightly, just enough for you to able to answer his questions.

....

Chuuya starts washing your cuts gently, you both sit there in silence with the only sound beinf your small sniffles and some small choked sobs.

After a few seconds chuuya decides to break the slience, "..Darling, please.. what happened that made you relapce..?" he asks with a gentle tone while holding your shaking hands in his. For a moment you stay slient, wiping your tears. "...i... i-i've...", you say in a shaky voice trying to break out into a crying mess again. Right at this moment you didn't know what to say, you really didn't know how to say what made you do it.

"...take your time..", Chuuya's soft voice snaps you out of your trance, you feel his thumbs rubbing on top of your hands in a comforting way.

"...its hard to say.... i-i don't know how to put it into words..", you whisper, hoping chuuya wouldn't be mad. You're scared he'll be mad at your answer, scared he'll force you to talk, force you like your mother would always do. You remember the first time you relapsed she got mad and forced you to talk, even when you were crying.

"..thats fine.. its not always easy to put something like this into words.." Chuuya caressed your back in a comforting way, making you want to just cry, cry so hard and let everything out, everything that has been bothering you, all your worries and troubles. You felt so comfortable in his arms, like you were safe. "would writing it help?", he asks and runs his fingers through your hair.

You burry your face in his neck and nod, feeling him pick you up and carry you over to your bedroom. He gently puts you on the bed and you slightly whine from the stinging pain that came from your cuts, holding back your tears. '..i'm sucha an idiot..' you think while watching chuuya leave the room to go get paper.

....

Chuuya comes back after some time with a piece of paper and a pen. He gives you the stuff and sits down next to you while waiting for you to write on the paper.

You sit there for a second before starting to write about how you've been feeling really insecure about yourself and thinking that you arent enough for him and that he should be with someone else. Once you're done writing you hesitate to give the paper back to chuuya for a bit, but you decide to just do it.

Once its in Chuuyas hands, you look away embaressed about the thngs you wrote, hoping he wouldn't judge you for it.

After a bit of silence, chuuya finally says something, "Darling.. why didn't you tell me..? i could've helped you feel better.." He says quietly and you just look down ashamed feeling like everything is your fult. You knew you should have told him, maybe then you wouldn't be in so much pain at the moment.

You felt like you were about to cry again, you felt weak. You just wanted to lay down and forget about the world around you.

"...i was scared.. i'i was so scared you'd be mad at me..." Your voice breaks as you try to explain everything to him. Chuuya sit there with you in his arms listening to you with a worried look on his face.

"...darling i would never hate you.. you're the most important person in my life, i would never be mad at you for relapcing.." He says while stroking your hair and rocking back and forth slowly. you hug him tight, like your scared he'll be gonne once you let go of him.

For the rest of the night chuuya keeps you in his arms while he comforts you and tells you how much he loves you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grr the end was rushed 😓😓

Anyways, pleae give me some feedback, it really helps me when people tell me what i should try to be better at.

Do not repost this on any other website without asking me first and giving me credit!!

Requests: Closed for now

[the-bloody-sadist]

Hurt comfort/aftermath of Mori’s abuse comm exclusively on ptrn! Full here

[un-lawliet]

“Present.”

— in which Dazai wants to kiss you

part two here <3

“Osamu…”

Dazai lifted his gaze, his eyes narrowing at your figure.

It was cold.

The Summer, having prolonged its stay, pliantly welcomed the first cool breeze of Autumn, inviting the ember shafts of the moon a little earlier, cutting the day shorter and introducing the night before the clock struck nine.

And Yokohama appeared to come alive at night.

The streets bustled with crowds, lively and impeached with an alacrity one would expect to see when the sun was much, much higher in the sky.

Dazai found himself outside the Lupin Bar, leaving a half empty glass of sake idle on the cracked confines of the bar top, the crisp air steadying his somewhat dizzy state, un-fogging his senses and clearing his head.

Leaning against the bar wall, his hands in his pockets, an indiscernible look in his eyes as he watched the ever moving city around him.

It was moments like this when you knew his mind was elsewhere, reminiscing over memories in which you did not know, memories that left you except and puzzling over the glimmer of recognition in the depths of his eye.

Breaking his trance he regarded you with quiet solidarity, as if debating weither or not he should throw up his defences or continue to stare, an eyebrow raised in subdued acknowledgment of your appearance.

He didn’t seem shocked at your return, having been on a mission at the other side of Yokohama for a few days, you feel a sickly indulgence of disappointment in his lack of reaction, your shoulders dropping as you approach him slowly.

He probably knew of your return, he has a habit of knowing seemingly every action and it’s equal reaction before they are even taken, it’s a habit that leaves you uneasy at best, and terrified at worst.

Sighing, you join him against the Bar, leaning your head back against the bumpy surface of the wall.

He looks at you for a moment longer, and it’s as if you can feel him back away, creating an insurmountable distance between the pair of you.

In reality, you know he does not move, but at the sight of an ill placed smile stretching his face, you have never felt so immeasurably far from him.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” He grins, and it’s ugly for a man so devastatingly beautiful in your eyes, you hold back a grimace.

“I’m back.” You say simply, unable to look at him anymore, the footpath suddenly becoming the most interesting thing you’d ever seen before.

A street lamp flickers, the light momentarily dies leaving the pair of you in the dark for a split second before the light returns, Dazai glances upwards to look at it, you don’t even notice.

You don’t know why you even sought him out, your feet seeming to move on their own after Kunikida grumbled that Dazai had headed to Lupin’s Bar just after his shift at the agency.

You have a gift for him from your mission, you tell yourself, attempting to justify your foolish actions, ignoring the voice in your head that reminds you that you would have seen Dazai at the agency at some point the following day.

“You’re back.” He mimics, and he’s back to looking at you again, trying to understand your actions, trying to comprehend why you were currently standing outside in the cold, cold night with him.

“The mission was successful then I suppose?” His smile seemed less indulgent now, and if you were to look up you would surely notice how his body swayed slightly, a testimony to the tipsy feeling resonating in his chest.

You don’t however, your eyes staying downcast as you nod; mumbling about how it was more boring that anything, you hear him laugh at your admission, you hate how empty it sounded.

“Is everyone at the agency ok?” You ponder, clinging to the tail ends of a conversation you were slowly losing.

“You didn’t visit them before you came to see me?” Dazai questions an undeniable tease in his voice, you feel yourself flush.

“I did, it’s how I-” Found out you were here.

The words die on your tongue, refusing to go into detail of how you actively asked for his whereabouts about five minutes into your return.

“Hm?” Dazai coaxes you, although you’re certain he knew what you were about to confess.

“Nothing.” You mumble, your hands clammy, “I uh did, but I only saw Kunikida and Yosano so..” You trail off.

“Ah” He muses.

And in the back of his mind, he wonders if you were simply here because you felt like it, that you had no alterier motives, internally frowning at himself for his suspicions despite knowing you were part of the ADA, critiquing himself silently for falling into old habits that should have died when he left the mafia.

He supposes that maybe you just wanted to see him.

The breeze falls over you both and he’s moving to leave, you look at him again, your head cocked, holding yourself back from questioning, restraining yourself from clinging onto his hand and begging to follow him, indulging yourself in the warmth of other human.

The bar door opens, and for a brief moment you hear the drunken giggles and exclamations of careless patrons, before the door swings shut again, muffling the voices. It grounds you.

Dazai takes a few steps and then turns to face you, his face unreadable, before he tilts his head gesturing for you to follow him, you think your heart soars.

“You coming?”

And you’re pushing yourself away from the wall, nodding.

He doesn’t wait for you to catch up, and you find yourself walking at a pace slightly behind him, your hand subconsciously tracing the box in your pocket.

You wonder if you should give him his gift now, or if you should wait.

When you can’t decided you stay silent, choosing to speed up to level the distance between you both.

You have no idea where you’re going, simply following a man who’s actions you couldn’t begin to understand. He makes no effort to inform you of the destination and so you make no effort to ask.

Dazai likes to think when he walks, constantly scheming, devising ways in which he could encourage Atshushi to grow, or better yet, another way to end his life, and fail, over and over again.

A bitter cycle that infringes upon his thoughts like a bullet.

Tonight however, his thoughts circle back to you, and your silence, and how your face seems to glow in the dim light of the night. And he blames the alcohol that’s coursing through his blood, the last of his drink finally hitting him as he walks, dizzying him and rendering him in a state of concealed vulnerability.

“So.” His voice comes out steady, despite his tendency to slur his sentences when under the influence.

You look at him, gently urging him to continue.

“You’re hiding something.” He states, and you curse him for his intellect and damn observation.

You grip your coat tighter, eyeing the bulge in your pocket, defeat already coaxing you to reveal your intentions.

“I suppose.” You whisper, concluding to yourself that there was really no reason to hide the present from him, after all it was just a gift shared between two work colleagues, there was no need to plaster it with a hidden agenda.

Reaching into your pocket you timidly lift it out, his gift was wrapped, just like everyone’s gift from the agency, a pretty ribbon tying it all together in a clumsy bow. You feel foolish.

“I brought you something from my mission.” You explain, your eyes trained on his face.

And Dazai pauses, his steps slowing to a stop as he stares at the box in your hand, and you scramble to explain yourself, eyes wide.

“I-I got everyone from the agency something!” You stammered, “I just…wanted to give it to you.”

He doesn’t move for a second, his eyes moving between your flustered face and the present.

A car drives past, it’s headlights cause you to blink.

“Do you plan on giving them their presents in such an intimate manner as well?” His voice was softer, as if he himself is unsure of your answer.

His question makes you freeze, feeling as if you were caught in your own actions.

You whisper a tiny “No” and Dazai just nods.

And you hate how you don’t understand.

His hand brushes yours as he picks up the box, his hands are cold, you try not to shiver under his calculating gaze.

“You don’t have to open it now.” You mumble, willing yourself to look him in his eye.

Truthfully you hope he doesn’t open it in front of you, unable to cope with the silent weight of the consequences to your actions.

Dazai finally breaks eye contact to look at the bow, his finger going up to play with the flimsy material.

You brought him something, you had thought of him. Dazai, was unable to fathom how you could be so pure and act so well intentioned to someone with his past.

Did you not believe him to cruel? A man desperately trying to patch over his history with the excuse that he had changed. Changed from the eighteen year old who’s presence struck fear in those unfortunate enough to know his name. Who’s presence alone caused the death of the only person who-

Bitterly, he reminds himself that you had thought of everyone at the ADA.

Without a word he pockets the gift, that same ugly smile rippling his features yet again.

“How kind of you to think of me!” He exclaims, his voice far too loud for the quietness of the gesture, clapping his hands together in an enthusiastic display of himself.

The distance between the pair of you stretched for miles and you shake your head.

“I think about you plenty.” Your voice is hushed, edging on exasperated, because (although you would rather die than describe your complicated feelings for Osamu Dazai out-loud) you don’t appreciate being pushed away.

The moon appears to hide behind the clouds, leaving the street lights to fend for themselves. Their glow emphasising your features as he looks at you.

And Dazai wants to kiss you.

It’s a desire that materialises amidst the acutely awkward silence that follows your admission, it breathes down his neck and forces him to lose any and all words that might escape his lips.

He smiles, a bandaged hand reaching up to cup your cheek, your eyes squint; confusion, admiration and need seeping out from their sockets and onto your face, and Dazai, for once, is grateful for his ability to read people, to read you.

He wants to kiss you, but he doesn’t.

You lean into his hand as his thumb gently draws circles across the area just below your eye, your lips part, a question you will never ask bubbling in your throat.

The pair of you look at each-other for another brief moment before Dazai removes his hand from you and turns, hiding his expression.

“You’re cold.” He states, starting to walk, “You should go home.”

And you watch him go, your feet refusing to move, body overcome with a melancholy you only ever seem to experience around Dazai.

The moon peaks out from behind the clouds again, as if to ask if you’re ok. Illuminating both you and your surroundings like a blanket.

And you feel exhausted.

masterlist <3 or part 2 here :)

feel free to leave a request !

A/N: this was supposed to be fluff idk what happened- i think i started thinking of chapter in 109 half way through, i’m sorry ANYWAY hi bsd fandom ily ily ily and thank you for reading !!!

[savasavva]

kafka pls i'm beggin'

[evilkaeya]

Got tired of being silly and decided to put Chuuya through immense mental breakdown. Read HERE and mind the TWs! Kudos and feedback are much appreciated :( <3

[ravencincaide]

We need to talk 

Summary: You assume the worst; after all why else would your partner utter those four cursed words OR Sometimes there is no easy way to have a difficult discussion but one could always take a more human approach towards it.

Pairing Dazai x Fem! Reader X Chuuya (SKK x fem!reader) 

Inspired by request by anon: A more alternative, very stand-alone part two for “Desperate times call for Desperate measures” where the boys realize how much their actions have hurt the reader

Warnings: Depression/ hint at postpartum depression, hint at bad eating habits, very mild sexual hint, cursing, hurt comfort

Enjoy~ ______________________________________________________________

“ We need to talk” 

When you heard those words your heart flopped to your stomach; the bitter, icky taste of bile filled your mouth. You froze mid-motion, somewhere halfway between straight and bent over towards the crib, about to place the newly nursed and sleepy boy-child beside his already napping twin sister. Your hands began to shake, so much so that you almost dropped the child the last half a meter to the soft mattress of his crib. 

“ W-what?” you gasped out, your eyes flickered towards his voice. But Dazai was almost completely out of your field of vision. Even as you craned your neck you could only catch a glimpse of him, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“ Put him down for his nap and we’ll talk downstairs” Dazai replied, his voice soft, but you doubted it was more for your sake than the snoozing children. 

You swallowed thickly and turned back to the two babies. Your heart was beating a million miles an hour. A part of you desperately wanted to pick those two back up into your arms and shut the door on Dazai. To shut away all the issues and imperfections and just rock your children close to your body. Hold them until the world stopped spinning. When did it all become so difficult?

– Another part of you hated them. The twins that seemed to hold every ounce of Dazai and Chuuya’s love, leaving none left over for you. 

You wondered if you’d still be together if it weren’t for the twins. 

The thought made you shudder. Your thoughts drifted back to the four words that brought on this level of anxiety in you. We need to talk. In your mind there is only one reason for you to hear those words. And you knew you were not ready to face that reality- what person- woman would? When you’ve put so many years towards your relationship; celebrated so many achievements, mourned so many sacrifices, the joys of parenthood and the struggles of being partners. All of it. The good and the bad. 

Your eyes flickered down to your ring finger and you felt tears well up in your eyes. A part of you wondered if that was the reason why they never married you- never even offered. Because then ending things would be so much easier. Though, rationally, you guessed everything good had to come to an end. With or without a ring. 

Setting the child back down in the crib you pulled the blanket over the twins. Your fingers brushing against their cheeks with featherlight touches. You bit your lip as you felt a tear roll down your cheeks. Then you pulled your hands away and wiped your cheeks, steadying your nerves. 

You were not going to give him- them- the satisfaction of seeing you cry. 

Once you felt your icy mask of professionalism slip into place, you finally turned to face Dazai. With quick steps you headed out of the room. He closed the door behind you quietly then began walking downstairs, hands in his pockets. He looked relaxed, casual even.You followed, keeping half a step behind him. Not close enough so your shoulders would bump, but close enough to show that you were ready to face whatever unpleasant excuses he was going to throw in your face. You held your head high, proud and confident. 

But was that actually true? A little voice in your head whispered. Were you really so certain in yourself and your own ability to hide your emotion that you would be able to out-lie the great Osamu Dazai.  More importantly, would you really be able to remain calm and just stand and listen as the two most important men in your life listed all the things wrong with you. All the reasons why you weren’t- and would never be- good enough. 

You stopped mid step, halfway between the messy living room of childrens toys, feeding bottles, diapers and clothes scattered around without any care, and just around the corner from the kitchen and the kitchen table where you had planned to spend the rest of the evening, working to wrap up whatever work you had left in your partners departments. The work you took over while your so-called lovers were two months abroad god-knows-where doing god-knows-what. Once the finalities were fixed, you’d be able to create a report of everything that occurred in the departments during their absence; the decisions you made and suggestions you’d advise for the future. All to make the transition into their respective roles as smooth as possible. At least that had been your plan earlier tonight. A foolish, meaningless plan that was masqueraded as helping them with work when in reality it was just a facade for you to feel useful. T ofeel connected to work. 

A woman- not just a mother. 

From the corner of your eye you could see the clock on the wall gently swaying with each tick-tack sound. A reminder that the screw it hung on would give away at any moment now. Once it would finally let go, the clock would crash to the ground, the glass shattering and the hourhands stopping at whatever doomed time it happened. You hoped it happened soon- maybe even as you passed it. Shaking your head you sighed and ran a hand through your hair, a defeated expression on your face. “ Dazai I understand, you don’t need to say anything I am sorry for whatever and –” 

“-Belladonna, you’re not getting out of this talk” Dazai stated matter of factly. “ so please keep walking”

He was curt with you. Short and straight to the point. Nothing shy of an order- a veiled threat that reminded you of your place. Shuddering slightly, you started walking again, resembling a scolded puppy rather than a confident mafioso partner and mother of their children. Your gaze was focused on the floor as you followed Dazai into the kitchen where you heard Chuuya shuffling about. With each step, the geers in your head kept turning, filling you with deeper dread and anxiety. With questions you needed to ask and were terrified of knowing the answer to. 

Suddenly, you snapped out of your daze as a sweet scent filled your senses, one that wasn’t unfamiliar despite the fact that you hadn’t smelled in months. Your eyes left Dazai’s back as he took a seat at one of the kitchen chairs and searched for the source of that fragrance. Then your eyes widened in surprise as you saw a vase with flowers standing right in the middle of the kitchen table. Beside your computer and all the files and other paperwork you prepared. You frowned a little, confused. Why were there flowers? 

“ Is there something wrong with getting flowers for my precious partner?” You frowned a little at the statement, definitely thrown off guard. 

“ What’s the matter, is the smell giving you a headache?” Chuuya asked, tone worried as he emerged from the kitchen with a large platter of fruit, primarily berries and sweet tropical ones, which he set down on the table as close to you as possible before disappearing back into the kitchen.

 “You must be hungry Bella, try some” When you didn’t move closer, Dazai wrapped a cold hand around your wrist and tugged you towards himself until you landed awkwardly in his lap. He chuckled at you, his hot breath hitting your ear as his arm came to wrap itself around your waist. He was holding you closely- tightly- leaving you barely any room to get comfortable, let alone stand up and leave. Ignoring your discomfort, Dazai picked a grape of the vine and offered it to you. When you ignored it he popped it between his lips, smiling as the sweet juice filled his senses. “ ahhh they’re sweet, like cotton candy, you should eat it” he urged you again. 

You just frowned more and crossed your arms over your chest, ignoring him and his attempt at feeding you. Your eyes were focused on Chuuya re-emerging from the kitchen, several bowls levitating around him. Then your face flushed slightly as whipped cream and several types of chocolate were placed in front of you by the berries. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, this time for an entirely different reason “ Whipped cream? Chocolate? Now?” you questioned your mind drifting back to what happened the last time that combination appeared between the three of you; the result were the twins.

Following your trail of thought Dazai chuckled and rested his head on your shoulder, arms slightly tighter around your waist; “ Bella as much as I’d love to ravish you now until you lose your voice and can’t walk; you aren’t ready yet” 

His words made you deadpan slightly; “ Dazai, I’m not a virgin. I’m more than “ready” for sex” You comment made him chuckle humorlessly as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder. 

“ You’ve had a tough delivery with a long hospital stay and then two months of utter hell, alone, with twins while juggling our work and managing the house.” another kiss, this one to the spot right where your shirt met your neck. “ You haven’t healed physically, you’re exhausted and tense mentally and we’ve neglected our partner duties for a while now.” 

Chuuya sighed heavily at Dazai’s words as he sat down on the chair beside you, his body and attention turned entirely towards you. He reached forward to a pitted cherry and dipped it in the tiniest bit of dark chocolate before bringing it up to your lips.“ Sweetheart, please eat something. Jokes aside you’ve barely gotten anything into you.” 

You huffed at Chuuya and rolled your eyes refusing the fruit until you’d know what the hell those two were playing at; “I eat, and I’m not all that hungry and also take vitamins to make sure that the milk is nutritious and the doctor check ups have gone—”

“ –Baby it’s not about the twins!” Chuuya’s rough and loud voice startled you, making a wave of guilt and sadness wash over you. You took a shaky breath, not understanding why he was suddenly so– so 

” Shit, shh sorry sweetheart,” Chuuya’s hands wore on either side of your face, stroking your cheeks and catching any and all tears you’d spill. His blue eyes stared seriously into yours. There wasn’t an ounce of humour or lies on his face, just worry and a hint of guilt “ Both me and Dazai know you’re a wonderful mother- a superwoman and while away we knew the twins would be more than well taken care of. You on the other hand are a different story.” 

“ Belladonna for once there’s no hidden agenda or clause. Just two idiots trying to make up for lost time. Will you let us?” Dazai pressed another kiss to your shoulder as Chuuya gave you a half sad- half hopeful smile before once again raising the chocolate covered cherry to your lips. You parted them for him slightly. Carefully he pushed it in your mouth, smearing the tiniest bit of chocolate and cherry on your upper lip, which he wiped off with his thumb. Then he brought it to his mouth and gave a lick. 

“ hmm they’re not as sweet as I thought, how about some milk or white chocolate doll?” Chuuya grinned as he prepared several cherries in different chocolate combinations.

Oh how could you say no to that? 

For every berry you ate, you saw Chuuya’s grin grow wider and wider. It looked as if he was ready to jump out of his seat and cheer the second the cherry landed past your lips while Dazai pressed more and more kisses to your clothes. 

After a while your eyes landed on a sheet of paper near your computer “ What’s that?” You asked, your eyes flickering towards an unfamiliar table hand drawn with columns and times. The glint in Dazai’s eyes told you, you shouldn’t have asked. 

“This is Dazai’s getting-Y/N-back-to-regular-eating plan- So tonight we start with berries and chocolate- stuff you’ve always been a sucker for Belladonna. Then tomorrow it will be cooked rice for breakfast with steamed vegetables and if you can manage than a bowl of miso and then for lunch–” Dazai rambled on, pointing out different times and the variety of dishes, snacks and back up snacks he planned to make sure you would go back to the regular three-times a day eating healthy and balanced meals. 

In the meantime Chuuya fed you chocolate and cream covered fruit one by one, the only time he’d pause was whenever he’d purposefully smear a bit of the sweet treat on your lips and kiss it off; a silent request for you to just relax and let them take care of your for a change. 

The sign of affection made you smile and helped ease some of your anxiety. You weren’t going to be fooled into believing that this was honestly done for your sake and not the twins. And that they didn’t have some kind of agenda behind their actions. Still you’d rather cling to any scraps of attention they spare for you than face the bitter truth of what your relationship has become.

For now.  ---

All fics are unique works by ©ravencincaide 2024. Do not copy/repost/translate or spread my work(s) without my explicit permission. If you see any of my work(s) reposted/copied anywhere else without my consent, please inform me!

[blake-elladonna]

Dreary

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐱 𝐘𝐨𝐮 (𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫) 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: ����𝟕𝟔

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞: 𝟏 𝐦𝐢𝐧. 𝟓𝟏 𝐬𝐞𝐜.

𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Dazai — the bold jock — teaches your bullies a lesson before he reassures you it will be okay.

Concrete. Wet grass. You held the fabric of your shirt, taking a deep breath. Flower petals. Tree branches. “Who was it this time?” He asked. You turned around but your voice cracked when you spoke, “Daz—“

He tsked with a small laugh, stepping from one of the cement pillars he was leaned on to the stairs. Kneeling down, he said, “I thought I asked you a question.” Then his hand moved to your chin. “So, who was it?”

When you didn’t answer, he smiled at your dreary eyes shifting back and forth. “I already know the answer, huh?” You nodded. “And, it was because of the same thing?” You nodded.

He sighed and dropped his fingers from your chin. Pushing your hair back and wiping the tears from your face. “You’re going to stay here. And I’ll be back.”

You were going to ask him what he meant, or reach your hand out, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t reach out to him in time. He was too far already pulling open one of the double doors to the school. Please be careful, Dazai.

He attempted to straighten his disheveled clothing while you dampened his handkerchief. “Are you an idiot or are you just stupid?” You asked. He winced for you to be gentle when you started to dab his knuckles but you ignored him. “You can’t just go around beating people up that you don’t like.”

He halfheartedly laughed, “You should have said that before I left.” That caused you to toss his handkerchief into his lap, “Dazai, what are you going to do if you get in trouble, huh? Are you going to just shrug it off in the back of a patrol car?”

You breathed through your lips and Dazai wrapped the handkerchief around his hand, “You don’t have to worry about that. I’d be surprised if they’re even able to remember my face. If that happens, I’ll take care of it, okay?” You huffed at his words and rested your face into your hands.

“Hey,” You leaned up at his softened tone and glanced over. He rested his hand against your neck and pressed his lips onto your forehead, resting his there shortly after. “I’ll take care of it.” He whispered, “I promise.”

← Previous Drabble Master List Next Drabble → 📚 Beast Perfect ✏️

⇐ Last Dazai Drabble Next Dazai Drabble ⇒ 🌌 Stars Confined 🔏

𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭? 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

© 2022 @blake-elladonna™ — all copyrights reserved. Please do not translate, steal, repost or claim my writing or ideas as your own. Click here for further details.

[neontoad]

Dazai falling asleep in the PM meetings is not unusual, but one day Chuuya notices that it doesn’t look remotely like his usual annoying antics anymore.

It’s not his signature “it’s boring” theatrics. It’s not an attempt to piss everyone off. It’s not Dazai’s exceptional laziness.

He’s trying to keep his eyes open, but they keep falling shut, his body jerking as he falls into slumber and immediately wakes up, the circle repeating over and over again. 

Dazai’s eyes look even duller than before, with dark circles underneath as the finishing touch. His clothes have never been pristine, but the way it’s crumpled is odd even for him. The bird’s nest on his head looks like an actual bird is about to fly out of it. 

Simply put, he looks like shit.

He looks exhausted.

Naturally, Chuuya goes to investigate. 

It turns out that there’s some work happening in the junkyard, heavy machinery relentlessly working day and night, and it looks like the flimsy shipping container is shaking like a leaf in the wake of all the booming construction. 

He opens the container door.

In any other situation, Chuuya would have laughed at Dazai lying on the mattress like a shrimp, a pillow over his head in a futile attempt to block out the noise. 

In any other situation.

Not when Dazai looks so utterly miserable with bloodshot eyes and a silent “why” on his lips. 

Chuuya can only offer Dazai a couch in his living room, but, as he thinks, watching him fall asleep the moment his head touches the pillow, it’s still better than whatever living situation Dazai had in the junkyard.

In the morning Chuuya calls Mori and tells him they are both taking a day off. Judging by the fact Dazai slept through the entire day, he really fucking needed it. 

When Dazai wakes up in the evening and waddles to the kitchen where Chuuya is making dinner, he looks just a bit more awake. Just a bit more alive. Just a bit more human. 

(Maybe helping Dazai feel human will help Chuuya feel like one, too.)

Dazai doesn’t say “thank you”, but the way his hand squeezes Chuuya’s shoulder speaks louder than any words.

It’s such a weird coincidence that the container gets run over by a construction vehicle the next day. 

Well… It seems like Dazai will have to move in with Chuuya.

He’ll try to tolerate the mackerel ;)

[angeliczuko]

"I got my eyes on you"

Summary: Dazai realizes how gloomy you have been, especially during both yours vacation ,,,what will they do to make their sweet s/o feel better?

Genre: fluff, hurt to comfort

Warnings: reader is sort of workaholic and very tired, implied depression, basically him comforting you when your at your lowest <3

A/N: um hi guys :D first post!

DAZAI knew whenever you were sad, happy, delighted or angry. He was a very calculating man after all. One would say he knew everything, though you wouldn`t say that when he first confessed his love to you, he acted like some lovesick puppy!

You could only think of his soft chocolate-coloured hair which you would run your fingers through late at night, his umber eyes which would shine with just a tiny bit of light when they looked at your figure whenever you felt gloomy.

You loved everything about this bandaged man.

And you didn`t even know why!

You opened your eyes a large beach infront of you ah thats right you were on vacation with him. The sky was getting darker by the minute especially since it was late at night. There was a huge cloud above you, you could feel it hovering your thoughts at all times.

As you took in the sight infront of you, you notice dazai playing around the sand in beach-type clothes to which you only smiled softly from the chair you sat on.

The evening air brushed across your skin making your body slightly shiver. This was the last day tomorrow both of you had to return home.

Dazai walks over to you, a beaming smile presented on his face ''Bellllllla! come join me, we can swim together the water is a bit cold but who cares it would be fun" he exclaimed.

"No dazai, not in the mood" you chuckle out.

You could see a hint of worry and concern on dazai`s face as you decline. He grabs you by your arms, a bit softly like always on how he treats you like a fragile doll and makes your feet pace with him.

"Wait where are we going, dazai!" you shout as he only smiles and keeps making you follow him up to some hill beside the shore you had never seen it before but it was filled with lilies and was very high.

"Keep close to me bella" he replies back as he keeps taking strikes, you had wondered why he was so persistent in taking you to a place lovely as this, you don`t deserve it.

As you finally quiet down because its no use Dazai stops on the top of the hill and at that moment you felt everything stop as fireworks blow in the sky, each a different colour. The way the dark sky blossomed into various colours looked as if a huge bundle of feelings were let out.

"Dazai, this.." you uttered softly taking in the view as you feel his bandaged arms on the top of your head, lovingly rubbing it giving you a peace of mind.

"Did you forget sweetheart? Tonight was the fireworks show, I couldn`t enjoy this without you can i? You deserve all this, everything in this world" he continued.

"I wish i could gift you every single item presented in this cruel world but that wouldn`t express my adoration for you properly so i will give you heart, because that`s the richest thing i could gift you"

You didn`t look at him, as your teary eyes which reflected the patterns in the sky tried not to cry.

Dazai kissed the back of your head, gently like the night breeze.

"You deserve all of this, my belladonna"

A/N: first post! hehe

Divider: @benkeibear

[bau-bee312]

hello, I was wondering if you could do a Dazai angst with prompt 6 and 4 and maybe some fluff at the end? But it’s ok if your don’t want to or your not comfortable doing it. Have a nice day!🙂🦦

☁︎𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲٫ 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞٫ 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞☁︎

Gn! Reader TW: Alcohol & Mentions of suicide

You were sure you knew what you were getting into when you started dating Dazai. You had known him for two years, all the time he had been at the agency. You two only started sdating around 5 months ago. At first, It was a grand and great thing to have him by your side, his silly remarks invading your life. While you could obviously tell how fake he was being you never let it deter you. “I hope one day you’ll get to be as happy as you seem,, you would say, never in public as to not ruin any facade he had on at the moment, you knew better than that. The first time you uttered those words he looked truly bewildered, not expecting you to know of his mask he used so often to save face. He never let those words get to him ever again after that.

After a few months his cracks started to leak out in front of you. His suicidal tendencies and jokes had always been made lighthearted at the agency but when he was alone it was truly a depressive and heartbreaking experience to watch. Along with that came the alcoholism, he would drink himself to sleep almost every night. Desperate attempts to distract himself you assumed. Anytime you would go to his dorm in the agency you would find him sprawled out on a futon with empty bottles of sake and a few empty whiskey glasses scatter around, ice inside long ago melted. You would clean up his mess, waking him up after with a worried expression. To which he always shrugged it off, the it being you.

This process repeated for two months, until now. You had been preparing yourself to talk to him about it, preparing for any response he may give you. Coming up with a retort and practicing it in the mirror later that night. But nothing could prepare you for the events of the night you worked up the confidence to confront him. When you went to stay over at his house you found him drinking, again. He didn’t usually drink whenever you came over so this was definitely out of the ordinary. Even though he was drinking he was barely even tipsy, despite the 3 servings of sake he had consumed. But you still helped clean him up. The words of worry and frustration creeped up your throat, you could feel your lungs squeezing together as you scooted the beverages out of the way and sat next to his spot where he was laying on the floor.

“Dazai?” You uttered, feeling the beat of your heart all the way up in your throat. He turns at the call of his name, offering a lazy smile. “Yeah [Nickname]” he coos. Your heart seemingly stops in your chest as you stare down at him. “We have, uh, we have a problem” you say, words finally making their way out. He looks at tou puzzled for a moment, not expecting that. “About what?“ your words are stuck in your throat at this point. “It’s uhm” you start “about you…” you murmur, almost scared to utter the words. His brows almost immediately furrow as his reply follows “That’s pretty vague don’t y’think?” he chirps in an almost light hearted tone. This topic was anything but light hearted though. You had no idea what to say, your throat ran dry. No matter how many times you practiced this conversation in the mirror nothing could truly prepare you for it. “It’s about your, problems.” You finally choke out, albeit. His face hardens instantly, but he stays silent, allowing you to speak. The word ‘problems’ sounded wrong, almost derogatory. Definitely not a word you ever thought you would need to use against him.

He stares for a moment before gifting a small boyish grin. “Which one?” he says, feigning innocence and playfulness. You knew that he knew this wasn’t going to be a very cheery conversation.

“Well, to start, the drinking.” You began “I love you, I really do but almost every time I come to get you in the mornings or just visit you at night I find you a mess and passes out on either the futon or couch.” you say, looking at him before continuing “It’s just so much and I worry about you.”

He stays quiet as he watches you, sighing before he retorts with a very clearly forced, tight lipped smile “Well if it bothers you as much as it does why are you still here? This is what you signed up for.” He wasn’t having it.

“Just because it bothers me doesn’t mean I’m going to leave you completely.” You sigh and move your hands to rub your temples. “I also didn’t know it was going to be this way”

”The leave.” He snaps, not loudly but you could feel the venom laced in his voice. “If it isn’t what you want then just walk out that door right now and you won’t ever have to come back.” It was all in a calm voice, but it was one that hurt your heart. More than you thought it would.

Along with the miserable mood that just put you in came stubbornness with it. So, you silently stood up with cold eyes, watching him the entire time as you made your way out of the room, and eventually out of the house. The whole time he watched you with cold and devoid eyes. Yet the moment you left they softened by a significant amount. Then once again he picked up the bottle.

[Current time. 4:37] After you left you ended up going back to your house. You weren’t very happy with the outcome of what was supposed to come to an understanding. You felt so bad for leaving, he was probably hurt that you left without putting up a fight.

At some point you felt so bad that you decided to just go back. Sliping a jacket over your baggy shirt and graphic design pajama pants and walking out the door to his agency issued dormitory. As you made your way you had time to decide what to say, that is if he was still awake. There was really no telling of that factor.

Once you made it down the block and to his apartment you struggled to open his door with the spare key. “Come over whenever you like!” He had told you a few months ago as he teasingly dangled the key in front of your face before trotting off on his merry way.

That was certainly helpful now. Once you shimmied the door open you made your way to where he last was. Then voilà there he was, right where you left him, the new half full whiskey cup was new though. You decided you would clean him up, just one more time before this all gets sorted out. So you start the process out picking up the bottles and glasses, disposing of and cleaning each properly before setting a water bottle next to him.

You had come to the conclusion that maybe you deserved a small nap for that. So, you glee fully layed on the futon next to him, clinging onto him from his back. As soon as your small, almost silent snores filled the room he peeked one mischievous eye open and looked around. He smiled contentedly before gently shifting himself over and pulling you into his chest. That bastard.

This story belongs to me, don’t steal and post as your own.

@kuro-chi69

I’m