#deanxoc

[dessert-storm]

"You are getting uncomfortably close to that possibly haunted mannequin.” Sasha told Dean, who was leaning even closer to it. 

Finally, he turned back to them, replying to Sam without batting an eye at Sasha’s comment. “I suppose, but riddle me this, batboy: ghosts aren’t exactly known for hopping county lines, right?”

Sam looked just as confused, at a loss for a possible answer.

“So we dig.” Dean concluded. He looked at the mannequin again. “Over there.” He gestured away from the mannequin. Then he waved a hand in front of the mannequin’s face. “I don’t like the way Kim Cattrall’s lookin at me.”

Sasha didn’t like the way Dean was messing with possibly killer mannequins. She glanced around to make sure the cops were far enough away. Then she pushed the mannequin over and it clattered to the floor in a pile of limbs, torso, and head. “Now let’s go.” She made for the exit. 

Dean grinned at Sam, who rolled his eyes, before they followed after Sasha. 

Mannequin 3: The Reckoning

[rat-bastard-fics]

Apothecary

Dean Winchester X OC (Sloan)

Part II

Summary: Dean is residing with an old friend after his brother passed (post season 5), but after a few days of staying with her, it’s time to set some ground rules. 

Warnings: Fluff, Domestic Dean

Word count: ~850

I. II. 

MASTERLIST

It’s been a week. Dean is asleep in my bed and I sit in a chair near the window, coffee in hand. Today, I’d have to have the “how to be a person in the normal world” talk with him and I, quite frankly, wasn’t looking forward to it. This past week has been heartbreaking. Dean didn’t sleep for more than an hour or two at a time. He paced half the night and he’d wake up in a cold sweat from whatever memory had turned into a nightmare behind his eyelids. I don’t get up every time. I did at first, but I could see how guilty it made him feel. And, so, I compromise by keeping an eye on him and, if he needs me, he knows I’m there. Sometimes, when it’s really bad, he doesn’t pace. He just sits on the side of the bed, frozen. These are the nights I know he needs something but he doesn’t know what. I get up on these nights. I make him a cup of chamomile tea with honey. He made fun of me the first time, but after I got him to try it he found it to be quite soothing. He’d never been a person who drank tea before now and so it didn’t bring back any bad memories--or, on the contrary, any good memories. It was only now.

Dean stirs in his sleep behind me, pulling me from my train of thought.

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty.” I smile over my shoulder at him.

“What time is it.” Dean rubs his hands over his face, scrubbing the spots from his vision.

“About 9.”

“9 am?” He props himself up on his elbows, “You should’ve woken me up.” I raise an eyebrow at him.

“Dean Winchester, if this past week has taught us anything, it’s that you do not need help waking up.” I mean it as a joke, but he looks guilty or maybe embarrassed as he scratches the back of his neck. “Coffee’s in the kitchen if you want some.” He grunts in response, getting up and grabbing a cup of joe before sitting on the couch near my chair. It’s silent for a moment as he finds his bearings.

“Listen, Dean.” I place my feet on the floor, untangling myself from my cozy position, and set my mug on the coffee table. “We need to talk.”

“Uh-oh” He looks at me from the corner of his eye, “Look, if I need to hit the road, just say so.”

“Actually, I was going to ask if you planned on sticking around.” He looks surprised and I shrug as I continue. “I’ve gotten used to having you around, I just want to know if I shouldn’t have.”

He let out a chuckle under his breath and then paused. He thought for a long time--long enough that I began to get nervous.

“Yeah, Sloan. I think I’ll stay.”

“Good, then let’s get you a job.” I grab the laptop off the table in front of me and begin to type information down for him, attempting to forge some sort of resume.

“Wait, what?” He clears his throat, clearly thrown off guard.

“You’ve had a week of PTO and you’ve been torturing yourself. Chuck owns the body shop down the street, I’m sure he’d hire you.”

“Chuck? Who’s Chuck?” I can tell he wants to be defensive but he’s tired and he knows I’m right.

“Chuck is my mechanic. I thought I made that pretty clear.”

***

Finally finished with my bar shift, I walk upstairs to my apartment. Tossing my apron and bag aside, I spot Dean sitting on the couch, beer in hand, television turned on, and bags of takeout in front of him.

“What’s all this?” I slip off my shoes and slowly approach him.

“Finally finished my first week at a normal human job, thought I’d treat us to takeout.” I smile at this and plop down beside him.

“You didn’t have to wait for me.” I laugh at his gesture.

“It’s only, what, 8pm?”

“Mhm.” I snap the wooden chopsticks apart and look at him with an over the glasses type of look. He sighs.

“And I wanted to thank you, you happy?”

“Yes.” I smile and hand him the chopsticks I’d separated before going to grab some of my own.

Falling asleep that night came easier to Dean. As M*A*S*H played on the small boxy television, his head resting on my lap. I ran my nails on his scalp, gently playing with his hair, and before I knew it his breathing had evened out and he was sound asleep. After about an hour or so, I tried to get up to move to the bed without waking him, but he wrapped his arms around my legs tightly.

“Don’t leave me.” He was still sound asleep, but how could I leave him after that. I sighed heavily.

“I won’t.” I whisper to the sleeping man, pressing a kiss to his temple and settling in.

[kansasmist]

The Ruins of You

Dean x female o/c

Summery: Spencer grew up with the Winchester brothers. After a hunt gone wrong and her dad's death, what happens when the boys come back into her life. Dean never saw Spencer as more than the annoying little girl that was friends with his brother, after barely any contact for over a decade, how will he see her now?

Chapter 1

January 1st was a chilly day, a frozen morning dew on the grass that crunched as you stepped down on it. It was 6am when a girl stepped out into the frigid air, a sage green flannel clung to her shoulders, her hair a deep brown with a shiny platinum blonde showing from underneath. The skin that was visible through the rips of her light blue jeans quickly developed goose bumps. She pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pocket and slowly lit one, the smoke mixing with her breath in the air. She made sure the motel door was locked before striding down the faded sidewalk. Her eyes landed on two tall men stepping out of a sleek black Chevy Impala. They were both wearing flannels, one a dark blue and the other with a checkered red pattern. The two seemed to be in an argument, she only caught a few words before the man with longer hair made eye contact with her, nodding her way. A smile tugged at her lips as she nodded back, the shorter man turned to her smiling as well. The Winchester brothers, she hadn't seen them for years. Her old man had been a hunting partner of the brother's dad John. 

         "Hey, kid" fell out of Dean's mouth as she stepped down hugging the man. "I'm not a kid, fool" she laughed, her southern accent making the man smile wider, letting go, she stepped back to look into his green eyes. She tried not to think about how his touch had left her burning. Sam came around the car, bags shifted to one hand as they also hugged. She was a few years younger than Sam, making her about ten years younger than Dean. The crush on the older man going back to when they first met as teenagers. She took a drag of her cigarette that made Sam roll his eyes "I thought you were going to quit, Spencer" he said as he shook his head. "Listen, things have been tough okay" she spoke as she dropped the cig and stamped it out on the asphalt. The group headed into the boy's motel room that was a few doors down from hers. Dean spoke softly to her "how are doing since... ya know" she shrugged letting her eyes fall to the floor. "I don't really want to talk about it Dean" she said as she tried to look anywhere but his face as he softly gazed at her, concern flashing through his eyes. 

          The girl's father was her absolute favorite person since her mom passed away when she was just 3yrs of age. The two had traveled all around, hunting was all she had ever known, and she was damn good at it too. Many hunters knew of them as being the best vamp hunter team there was. Her dad had vanished a few months ago in the same manor that the boy's dad, John, had years before. She was absolutely crushed when she received the call from Sam, telling her they had found her dad's body in a vamp's nest, one of the only hunts she had not accompanied her dad on. Spencer hadn't seen the brothers in over 10yrs but they insisted on driving down to help her with a hunt and check on her, knowing how close she and her dad were.

The hotel they chose to meet at was not too sketchy but was also far from five stars. The boys’ room mirrored the one Spencer had with only the change of having two beds instead of one. Sam tossed the bags on their beds and headed to the bathroom. Dean’s concerned gaze was still focused on Spencer, he opened his mouth but was cut off before he could even get a word out. “I said I don’t want to talk about it Dean” Spencer spoke with slight edge in her voice, giving him a pointed look. Dean looked surprised at her tone but wasn’t able to respond before the door to the bathroom opened and Sam came out and grabbed his laptop from his bag. Dean cleared his throat quickly “Alright Spence, give us the run down of this case you’re working” Dean spoke as he twisted a beer open and sat at the table near the door. Sam joined him, opening his laptop ready to research anything Spencer would spit out. The girl stood slowly, as she started pacing the room speaking carefully, she said “Okay, you guys aren’t going to like this.”  

“Demons?” Dean spoke, “What happened to the vamps Spence?” Spencer shrugged, grabbing a beer from the fridge, and sitting near the older man. “The tip I was given was bad, not sure how you mix up vamps and demons” she let out a small snort as she took a gulp of the cheap beer. Sam shook his head “Who exactly gave you this tip?” Spencer’s eyes shifted from him to Dean quickly, “Some guy named Garth, a little looney if I do say so myself” Dean and Sam shared a look and then both sighed heavily. “Well, I guess if anyone was going to mix up vamps and demons it would be him” Dean spoke as if he were annoyed someone had interrupted his nap time. Spencer glanced up from the beer she was holding, surprised at his tone “Wait, you guys know this dude” Sam shrugged and leaned back in the chair before speaking, “We worked a case or two in the past, good guy but yea maybe a little looney” he let out a laugh at the end and did not seem anywhere near as annoyed as Dean. “You don’t feel the same I’m assuming?” Spencer directed the question to Dean whose green eyes seemed to hold her in a trance. “You mainly hunt vamps, how much experience do you have with demons?” Before Spencer could even open her mouth to answer, Dean continued ranting. “What if you hadn’t found out it wasn’t vamps, you would go in unprepared, met with demons without the correct tools or expertise” The last sentence made Spencer tense “Are you calling me incompetent right now Dean?” Spencer spoke with an edge to her voice.

“No” the word came out harshly from Dean mouth, “Garth is just an idiot and should never have made that kind of mistake and put you in danger” Spencer’s heart stuttered, he cared, why was he so worried- the thoughts ran through her head but before she could voice her mind, Dean stood and grabbed his coat “I’m going to the bar down the road, this beer tastes like shit” The door slammed as he left, they could hear the impala start, then speed off down the road. Spencer and Sam shared a look but continued discussing the case. Dean was still gone by the time the two decided to call it a night. Spencer was standing under the rusty overhang of the motel, another cigarette hung from her lips as she turned her head to the impala pulling into the parking lot.

Dean parked and stepped out, eyes immediately landing on her. “Sorry, I missed the debrief” he let out a short chuckle as he stepped up onto the sidewalk. “It’s fine, Sam and I can fill you in during breakfast tomorrow” Spencer spoke as she took a drag from her cigarette, dropping it to the ground to stomp out she turned toward the man. “I’m just worried about you” Dean spoke quickly as if he was nervous. Spencer’s eyes widened slightly; Dean had never expressed this sort of concern about her before. She took a small breath before speaking “I’ll be fine Dean, I always am” Dean took a step toward her, closing her in so her back hit the door of her hotel room. Spencer stared up at him, hazel eyes still wide, the closeness with the older man made her shiver. “I know, but I also know how it feels to lose a father, I know how close you two were, so if you need anything, I’m right here, okay?” Dean’s words were soft, softer than she had ever heard him talk, her breath hitched as his hand reached up to touch her face. His thumb trailed along her cheek before pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Okay?” he questioned again, making her repeat the word back to him in a soft, breathy tone. A small smile appeared on Deans face as his gaze never left hers, his hand still holding her cheek, Spencer felt like her skin was on fire “Good, I’ll see you at breakfast” his voice still soft as she watching his eyes slide down her face to her lips. Without warning he pulled away and stepped back, smiling again he turned his back. Spencer watched as he walked away and into the boy’s hotel room. Spencer slowly stepped into her own room, closing the door, and leaning on it, she let out a heavy breath she didn’t know she had been holding.

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight - March 2024

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

@samanddean76 -

Other SM names? - Same name on AO3 and Discord

OTP? - Wincest and/or J2.

Looking for in the Pond? - To be around other open-minded and creative people so that I can see how far I can be inspired to go with this writing thing.

Pairings you read? - All of it. I love Wincest, Wincestiel, Sabriel, Destiel, Jammy, and J2.

Genres you read? - Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Smut, True Mates, Soul Mates, Unrequited Love, and A/B/O is my favorite way to combine all of the above.

Favorite writer(s)? - nyxocity. She started on LiveJournal with the first episodes to air and transfered a lot to Ao3. Her work in both SPN and SPN RPF is some of the best I've ever read.

What do you like to write? - A/B/O, AU's, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, True Mates, Soul Mates, Revenge, and All The Feels

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Joyous Memories Amongst The Sorrow

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - A full on, hard-core revenge story where nothing is softened, the focus doesn't shift away, and there is no doubt as to what was done. Haven't tried it yet as I'm not sure I'm ready to embrace the darkness required to write it. Also, I don't want to scare off my readers. How you can help? Encourage me to finally tackle that next seemingly impossible challenge.

@kayleighwinchester -

Other SM names? - KayleighWinchester (AO3)

OTP? - Awful as it sounds, Dean and my OC! Beyond that, absolutely Destiel.

Other fandoms? - I'm pretty active in the band Ghost's TikTok fandom! I used to be *huge* into Harry Potter, but that's definitely faded in the last few years. As it stands, Supernatural has definitely become the main obsession.

Looking for in the Pond? - I'm mostly here for the community! My fanfic writing has mostly been just for me and shared with a few close friends in the last few years - publishing it anywhere, especially in the really rough state it's in at present, is super daunting! I'm always looking for more people to bounce ideas off of, chat with, and generally obsess over the show with, as well as finding new stuff to read!

Pairings you read? - I'm especially fond of reader inserts, and they were my first big step into fanfic! When it comes to ships, I tend to stick specifically to Destiel, since it's my OTP, but I'm always willing to branch out!

Genres you read? - I love angst! Writing was, for a long time, my free version of therapy, so reading and writing angst was always a huge thing for me. I also love smut and fluff. ...Essentially, everything. Depends on the mood!

Favorite writer(s)? - I always have to boost TinkerbellBleu on Ao3, even though she isn't active anymore. She wrote an amazing DeanxOC fic, essentially turning episodes 1, 2, and part of 3 into full-length novels. I adore her writing and hope she comes back soon!

What do you like to write? - Most are CharacterxOC, and I have absolutely no self-control, so they are almost always ridiculously long. As it stands, I've been incapable of not just writing a fic that is supposed to span the entire show, because there's just *so many* good moments, good scenes, good storylines, etc. There's never one specific 'theme'; I write everything! I do enjoy writing angst, though.

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - Smut! I've made an *attempt*, but never one that I actually kept. Generally, it comes down to a lack of confidence; I'd love some critiques if I ever get around to it!

@whiskeyjuniper -

Other SM names? - Whiskeyjuniper (AO3)

OTP? - DeanCas, Midam, crackship DeanChuck

Looking for in the Pond? - Sprint buddies!

Pairings you read? - DeanCas, Midam, crackship DeanChuck

Genres you read? - Horror

What do you like to write? - Horror, Weird

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - a happy place to dream about

@bloodydeanwinchester -

Other SM names? - Same name on Discord, alovelyhorror (AO3)

OTP? - Destiel

Looking for in the Pond? - Looking for a place to talk to other writers and participate in sprints.

Pairings you read? - Almost exclusively Destiel

Genres you read? - Angst with a happy ending is my favorite but I also love some good horror. my favorite trope is probably time travel.

Favorite writer(s)? - sobsicles and komodobits on ao3

What do you like to write? - mostly into writing longer destiel canon/canon divergent fics (although i do have an idea or two for aus)

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - When the Night Is Over

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - The thing I'm most focused on wanting to do now is to finish the longer fic that I’m currently working on. I'm struggling with keeping up motivation now that I'm right in the middle of the fic!

@notanotherthembo -

Other SM names? - Same name on Discord

OTP? - Dean/Cassie

Other fandoms? - TWD, TOWL

Looking for in the Pond? - Beta readers, homies, amazing writers to talk shop with

Pairings you read? - Sam/Femme!Reader, DeanCassie, Sam/Dean/Femme!Reader, Wincest

Genres you read? - Smut, Rivals or Enemies to Lovers,

Favorite writer(s)? - @uncouth-the-fifth is the GOAT

What do you like to write? - Crossovers, specifically ones that feature Black femme characters as the romantic lead

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Clap Your Hands If You Believe

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - Reader inserts! I'm working on one right now that I need a beta reader for. I'm also considering finishing up/rewriting an old Spn/True Blood crossover series that I haven't touched in years.

@bigmouthlass -

Other SM names? - darali_starscream (AO3) & Darali (Discord)

OTP? - I write Dean/You, and Dean/Donna should've lived happily ever after.

Looking for in the Pond? - Get a better handle on fandom stuff, meet some other like-minded obsessives.

Pairings you read? - Dean/anyone. He fascinates me.

Genres you read? - Smut to start, anything interesting and well-written.

Favorite writer(s)? - @thoughtslikeaminefield, @sam-is-my-safe-word , @talltalesandbedtimestories, Edge_of_Clairvoyance (AO3), and @rizlowwritessortof

What do you like to write? - They start as smut, and insist on growing plots.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Stairwell Drums

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I'm trying to get comfortable writing Sam; he's harder for me to feel at ease with. Also slash generally, it doesn't come naturally to me.

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @spencereliotwinchester and @heavenssexiestangel!

[jules-s-winchester]

In the beginning

I think you’re adorable- supernatural rewrite

Tears streamed down my face, I covered my mouth with my hand in order to stifle the sobs. I was hiding in my closet, praying, hoping the monster wouldn't find me. I heard the door to my room open and my eyes squeezed shut. I heard footsteps, walking towards me. Then suddenly, they stopped. I opened my eyes again to see if he was there. If it, was there. All of a sudden, the closet doors flew open. My father stood there smiling, or what looked like my father. His eyes turned black and chills ran down my spine. Blood covered his shirt where my mother had stabbed him. Mommy. Just thinking of her made more tears leak from my eyes. He continued walking towards me, I screamed. This was it. I was going to die. He reached towards me and roughly grabbed me, pulling me out of the closet and holding me up in the air.

"Any last words?" he asked in my father's voice.

All I could do was force out a choked sob. I didn't know what was happening. I just wanted my mommy and daddy. Suddenly, The door was kicked open, I looked over and saw Mr. John,  a gun in his hands.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica." John screamed, his gun pointing at the monster. It made a horrible noise, screaming and looking as if it were fighting something.

"Ergo, omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te...cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare...Vade, satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciæ, hostis humanæ salutis..."  John continued as the monster opened its mouth, black smoke coming from his mouth. I wasn't listening, all I could hear was the blood pumping in my ears. Eventually my father's body fell to the floor, and I with it.

"Daddy?" I cried, the tears continued to fall.

"Julia sweetheart we have to go, I'm so sorry" John said, coming over to me and wrapping his arms around me. He picked me up despite my pleading and walked out of the room, leaving my father's body behind.

[lustfordespair]

SPN OC STORY??

Considering coming back to life with my stories and writing about my Supernatural OC that I’ve had since middle school. Just help me decide if I should. Here’s some headcanons about her:

- Her father was good friend’s with John, her and the boys would hangout sometimes- depends if they were around at the time.

- Growing up, she had no idea monsters and such existed. She just knew her father and the boy’s father would go on “business” trips sometimes. 

- She has a twin brother, who knew about monsters. Along with a younger sister, who’s technically her half sister but she still cares deeply about her even though she’s the spawn of her mother’s affair. 

- She’s about 2 years younger than Dean, two older than Sam. Meaning she’s met Mary and boy let me tell you Mary treated her like her own daughter while she was still around.

- Mommy issues. Her mother treats her like shit but favors her brother and sister. Thus why she was always a daddy’s girl. 

- Relationship with a Winchester? Oh yeah. Her and Dean kissed once or twice in their teen years. Both most likely having feelings towards each other but never admitting it. 

- She shares her love for rock with Dean, her dad showed her all she listened to. Regarding to this, she lives with her aunt cause her mother kicked her out, she attended a high school normally and even started a band. Which obviously Dean teases her about;)

- Like she shares a love for rock with Dean, she also shares a love for books like Sam. I guess in a way she’s a mix of both due to growing up with them but she’s still her own independent unique person.

- Oh, right... over time she lost touch with the brother’s.  Around the time John went missing and Sam being in college. She’d text Dean from time to time but the talks weren’t long. 

- How did they reunite? You remember that convention Charlie went to and got wasted? Yeah, she met her there. They became roommates after a while. She was there during the leviathan stuff.

That’s all for now but please tell me if I should write a book about her. I love her so much and she hold’s a spot in my heart.

[deanswaywardgirl]

The Most Painful of Heartbreaks- Part 2

Eleven months. It'd been almost a year since Castiel had seen Faith, months since she'd pinned him up against the wall of the bunker, an angel blade to his throat. But he couldn't hold it against her, he knew she was in massive pain over losing Sam and Dean Winchester. The angel still couldn't believe his family was gone. It even felt like Faith was dead. The happy lively girl was gone, and what remained, he didn't recognize. He knew she was still alive, the stories he'd heard over the last few months told him so. Silence is what they were calling her now, and the demons Castiel had run into were terrified of her. The brutality of her kills, demons and monsters alike, even some angels. The way she'd stalk her 'victims'. They refused to talk about her, but when they did, they spoke with such fear that Castiel almost swore they were talking about someone else entirely: Brutal, violent, vengeful, cutthroat, cold, heartless, and that's just to name a few. He remembered the last demon he'd run into.

"Where is she?!" Cas asked the demon. "I don't know. I'm trying to stay away from the bitch. She's lost her damn mind ever since the Winchesters." Castiel growled and pulled the demon by his coat collar. "Don't you even speak their name." He plunged his angel blade up through the demon's jaw, the white light spilling from its eyes before he dropped the body and stalked back to his car, the pain of the loss of his friends still fresh.

A single tear fell down his cheek as he thought of Sam and Dean, wondering what they would do in this situation. What Dean would do to bring her home. Of course, that wasn't even a question. If Dean were around, he wouldn't be tracking her down. Castiel swallowed hard and turned his pained blue eyes up to a starless, silent night sky. "Faith, please..I know you're out there. Let me help you. You don't have to do this alone, I know how you feel."

"You couldn't possibly know how I feel." A startlingly cold female voice broke the silence surrounding the angel as he turned to face the owner. She was dressed in ripped jeans, her black boots, the Samulet, a red flannel over a black tee-shirt. Her now black hair was done up in a braided pony tail. Her blue eyes were darker. They were no longer bright with life and love and light. All they held now was rage and heartbreak and determination. Despite everything, Cas was happy to see her. "What do you want, Castiel?" the girl asked, swallowing thickly. "What do I want? Faith, I wanna see you. I wanted to see how you are, I haven't seen you in almost a year." "Okay," the girl answered and shrugged, glancing down at herself. "Now, you've seen me. I'm gonna go now," she said and turned to leave. "No, wait, please. Faith, please." "Cas, don't." Her voice broke into a whisper, and Cas could feel her pain, even with the distance between them. She turned back to him and shook her head. "I can't, okay? Just let me go." "You know I can't do that. Dean wouldn't want--" "I don't give a shit what he would want!" Faith cried out, her breathing shaky, her eyes glowing blue. "I didn't want him to die, him or Sam! And they did anyway! They left me here, ALONE! So I don't give a shit what he wants!" she growled, then bit the inside of her cheek as she swallowed hard, the tears falling down her cheeks. Cas' brow furrowed as he took a step towards her, freezing when she took a step back. "How could you think that they chose to leave you? How could you ever think that?" "Dean's final words to me painted a clear message. 'Be happy.'" Her voice cracked as she clenched her jaw, the tears still falling. "He didn't want me to join them in Heaven." "Faith, Dean loved you. He still does. He wants you to--" "What? Live my life? Castiel, it physically hurts to breathe. Every breath I take just reminds me that Dean isn't taking any. It takes everything I have and then some to keep going, to get out of bed. And I know, if I could just get rid of every monster, demon, and douchebag angel that exists, I can be happy with my boys in Heaven. But I don't trust other hunters to get the job done. So, I'm doing it myself." "Faith, you can't keep going like this." "Why not? Huh? What should I do instead, Castiel? What? Pretend I'm normal? Human? Get a house in Lawrence and raise a family and act for the rest of my life like I didn't lose the love of my life and Sammy? What, cut that part of my life off and pretend it never happened? You may be an angel and can turn off your humanity, but those boys meant everything to me. They were my everything, and now, I have nothing." "That's not true. You still have me. And Jody, and Donna, and Claire. Faith, listen to me, I'm still here and I can help you get through this." The girl shook her head and sighed. "I'm of no use to them, Cas. I'm of no use to you. I am so broken, I don't think I can be put back together. And I'm not sure I want to. Cause then, what does that say about me?" Faith fell to her knees and let her head fall. "I just want to see them. I want my boys. I want Dean. They didn't deserve to die. They should've gotten out and gotten normal lives. I wanted to spend my life with Dean, grow old together, watch our kids and grandkids play in the yard." She rocked herself back and forth, her eyes squeezed shut. "They deserved better. I failed my boys and now they're dead. It's my fault." Castiel cried as he watched her, then knelt down and gently tilted her chin up, and wiped a tear from her eye. "Faith Delaney. You know this isn't who you are, this...caped crusader person..you're a Winchester." The name brought fresh tears to Faith's eyes. "I want my boys, Cas. I miss them so much, I can't do this. I can't. Please, Cas..please," she cried, burying her face in his shoulder as she cried, unable to hold back the tide. The pain threatened to tear her apart. "Just let me die, Cas. Please? Let me be with them." The angel held his friend and let her grieve, crying along with her as he set his chin on her head. It was awhile before Faith pulled herself together and got to her feet, looking down at the angel who then stood up in front of her. She swallowed hard and licked her lips. "So, now what? You turn me in to your angel bosses for being a bad little Nephilim?" "No, of course not. Faith, I didn't come here to retrieve you." Faith just watched him for any signs he was lying to her. "Do you really think I'd turn on you, for Heaven?" he asked, sounding genuinely hurt. The girl took a beat before shrugging one shoulder, swallowing thickly. "Well, I've killed a few angels that came down and had the sack to try and arrest me. Six in total. Unless I'm going to see my boys, I'm not going anywhere near that hellhole." "That's actually why I wanted to find you. I can take you to see them." Faith backed off with a growl. "Don't play games with me, you son of a bitch. Do not do that." Castiel rose his hands and locked eyes with her. "Faith, I swear to you, this is real. I will take you to see Sam and Dean in their heaven." The girl tilted her head as she eased closer, glancing around, half expecting an army of angels to show up with enochian cuffs before she gave in and looked back at the angel in front of her. "Promise me." "I promise, Faith, this isn't a trick." He held his hand out to her. Faith hesitated, but placed her hand in his. A white two-story house stood in front of Faith and Cas, with a wrap around porch, Baby in the driveway, and Dean in a rocking chair in the front porch. A brown haired little girl and a sandy-blond haired little boy ran around laughing in the front yard, not even noticing their guests. Tears rose in Faith's eyes as she moved towards the front porch. Dean stood, the smile disappearing as he moved down the steps and towards Faith, setting his glass down on the steps. Faith took a shaky breath as he now stood before her. "Dean?" she whispered, then reached up and cupped his face in her hand, tilting her head as he leaned into her touch, his eyes falling closed before he opened them again and gently pulled her into his arms, tightening his hold on her as she began to cry into his shoulder, holding on with a death grip. Dean cradled the back of her head and kissed the side of her head, tenderly. When the two pulled apart, Dean rested his head against hers, and Faith took a breath as she looked up at him. "You're domestic." The man smiled crookedly at her. "Yeah, I am. With you." Faith swallowed hard, her brow furrowing in confusion. "You're here, sweetheart, you and the kids that I always wanted." Faith's eyes fell to the two children, still running around and playing. "Those are our kids?" she asked, earning a nod from the former hunter, his arm wrapping around her. "Come on, come inside," he said and took her hand, leading her back up the steps. Faith turned back to Cas who shook his head. "You go ahead, Faith, I'll be waiting." She then turned and went inside with Dean. Once inside, she looked around and swallowed hard. "So, this would've been our life together," she said, softly, stroking one picture in particular. One that existed in real life, on her nightstand in the bunker. One of the two of them, Dean kissing her cheek in the driver's seat of Baby. Both of them laughing, both of them happy. Faith turned to find Dean standing in front of her, his eyes full of love as he leaned down and claimed her lips with his own, setting his hands on her hips. Faith felt like she could breathe again, as she kissed Dean with every ounce of feeling she had. Pulling back after several minutes, she looked up at him and bit her lower lip. "Why?" she asked. "Dean, why did you leave me? You promised me-" "I know, sweetheart. I know." Faith's lip trembled as she took a shaky breath. "How are you?" he asked. Faith laughed a broken laugh, surprised by his question. "How am I? You can't tell?" she asked, then swallowed hard and shrugged, trying to find the words. "I'm dead inside, I can't even begin to describe what it's like to live without you. I wouldn't even call it living. Hunting is all I do anymore. I don't even live at the bunker anymore. But soon, it will all be over." Dean's brow furrowed as he slid his hand into hers. "What are you talking about?" he asked. Faith shook her head as she sat down on one of the steps. "Dean, I can't do this. I can't. I've gone eleven months without you, but I have no idea how. I've lost my family, the only people who keep me going, who make me laugh, who...give me life. Once I've eliminated every demon and monster and every other son of a bitch infesting the planet, I'll be done. I'm not doing this without you anymore. I have nothing but time now, and yet, all I want is you." Dean knelt down in front of her. "Sweetheart, you can't do this." The girl swallowed hard as she locked eyes with him. "Are you saying you don't want me to join you up here?" she asked, her voice breaking. Dean sighed and took his ring off before gently taking her hand and sliding it onto her thumb. "Listen to me, okay?" he asked, earning her attention. "I know you're hurting right now, but it will get better." Faith scoffed and stood, and moved into what looked like the kitchen, knowing he would follow her. "Dean, I don't want it to get better, I want to be with you." She moved closer to him and cupped his face in her hand, swallowing thickly. "And up here, we can be together for eternity, in peace. Neither of us will get killed or get sick. We don't have to hunt, we don't have to worry about each other." Dean glanced down at her, sliding his hands into hers and lacing their fingers together. "I know, baby. I know," he whispered, then pulled her into his arms and kissed the side of her head again. "I have nothing without you," she whispered, keeping a death grip on his flannel. "I love you so much, Dean, god...you have no idea," she said and pulled back to look into the hazel eyes she still continued to fall for. "You're the best thing in my life," she whispered, then leaned up and kissed him with every ounce of love that she felt for him, able to feel like herself for a moment again. Dean slowly pulled back, then kissed her forehead, holding her tightly against him. 

"I have something for you." He pulled a small black velvet box from his pocket and dipped down to one knee, opening it to reveal his mother's ring. "Faith Delaney. Even dead, I know you're the love of my life. You were it for me, and you still are. I want you to be mine forever. I love you, Faith, more than you could imagine. Will you marry me?" he asked, earning a tearful nod from the girl. He took the ring and slid it onto her finger before kissing her once more, Faith's hands moving to the back of his neck. He lifted her onto his waist and set on the couch, holding her in his lap. The two stayed like that for several hours, until Cas came to get Faith. Tears welled up in her eyes before turning back to Dean, swallowing hard. "Where's Sammy? He okay? I wanna see him before..." she bit her lip and glanced up at him. "Yeah, uh, let me take you to him." He took her hand and led her out the back to the house right next door, walking in through the back door with Faith in tow. He came across his brother in the library, reading research. "Why am I not surprised? Man comes to Heaven and starts reading lore," Faith asked, a warm smile crossing her lips, causing the man to look up, recognition lighting up his eyes. He stood from the desk and moved to her and hugged her tightly. Faith held onto Sam tightly, inhaling his scent, trying to keep her composure. "Please tell me you're not--" Sam pulled back and looked down at her. "No, I'm...well, I'm breathing. Unfortunately." Faith tried to smile, but it came out pained before she bit her lip and slid her hand back into Dean's, lacing their fingers together. "How are you, Sam?" she asked. Sam shrugged and nodded. "We're hanging in there, you know, its..different up here. We haven't found Bobby yet, but I'm looking." Faith smiled softly as she looked up at him. "You're supposed to be, I don't know, drinking margaritas or protein shakes, or whatever it is you drink, and relaxing. Not looking for dead people." Faith finally felt somewhat normal, despite knowing she'd have to go back soon. The reminder made her flinch as she swallowed hard and gently tightened her grip on Dean's hand. He noticed and leaned over, kissing the side of her head. "I see Dean finally gave you the ring." Faith glanced down and smiled softly. "But as far as we're concerned, you've always been a Winchester. That just makes it legal," Sam said with a wink. Faith smiled, the name making her flinch again before her eyes fell. "Problem is, I'm going back to a world without you two. And I don't know how to get through every minute of every day without you. I'm lost and scared and cold and alone. You two were my home and now you're gone and I'm just...alone." "Sweetheart, you're never alone," Dean said, wrapping his arms around her from behind, kissing her cheek. "You have Jody and--" "Dean, they're not you. And I'm alot further than out of my head with grief. I'm a zombie most of the time, unless I'm hunting. Its like I become something else. And I don't care anymore. I hunt cause I can take my rage out on something. I just wanna be with you two." Dean sighed, looking up at his brother. "Faith, I want you to do something for me. Go home, and go to Jody's, and grieve. Don't hunt, don't do anything. Please. Do this for me. I don't want you hunting, and you know better than to hunt alone." "What about you?" she asked, her voice breaking. "What am I supposed to do?" she asked. "Sweetheart, just let them be there for you. I don't want to worry about you, Faith." She leaned her head against his and closed her eyes, swallowing hard, then looked up at Sam, taking his hand into hers. "I love you both. So much more than you'll ever know. Sammy, you're my brother, my best friend. And Dean, you...god, I don't even know where to begin. You're the love of my life." Dean smiled softly and kissed her temple. "I know you can do this, sweetheart. You're the strongest woman I've ever known. And I'll always be there with you. I'll be that annoying voice in your head." Faith smiled softly and turned her head, kissing his cheek and closing her eyes. "I love you both so much," she whispered and glanced up at Sam, then turned to Dean and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder. "Dean--" "I know, baby," he whispered and reluctantly pulled back. "I love you, Faith. I always have, and I always will. But I want you to be happy. Go live your life, live for me," he said, taking her hands into his. "And when the credits roll for you, I'll be right here waiting for you." He swallowed thickly, knowing how he felt and that she didn't want to leave him. "I love you, sweetheart." Faith shook her head and licked her lips, then leaned up and kissed him before pulling away from him completely. She hugged Sam tightly, whispering her love to him as well, then pulled away from the Winchester brothers and drug her feet back to Castiel. She took one last glance over her shoulder and forced a smile, and before she knew it, she was standing outside Jody's house, where everybody was waiting for her. Faith moved towards Jody and hugged her tightly, crying into the sheriff's shoulder. Jody held the girl tightly, cradling the back of Faith's head to her shoulder, slightly rocking. She looked up at Castiel and nodded in agreement that she would take care of Faith for the time being, and the angel disappeared. "I gotcha now, sweetheart. You're gonna be okay, we're all here. Okay?" she soothed the girl and the Wayward Daughters went into the house.

@ellewritesfix05 @theroadsofar05to20 @mia-ono @dean-winchesters-bacon @bi-danvers0 @morganpierce

[ficsficsfics2020]

"Lydia looked up and froze. There, in a cheap suit, sitting down at the counter, was the man with the hazel eyes. Her torturer." Dean comes face to face with someone he tortured in hell. 

[OC/Canon, one shot, heavy smut, torture/sadomasochism]

Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Words: 4,329

[ideaforfanficsorsomethingidgaf]

Just a 'Normal' Family (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/qvY2gYdMs7

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 Hello, dearie. My name is Catherine Diana E. Collins, I am a mother of 3, an independent woman, the current queen of hell, and the secret princess of heaven. I know right? Being a mother of 3 is so hard especially since their fathers are always hunting, but it's so worth it just to see them safe, healthy, and happy Anyways, this is my story.

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 Disclaimer: I do not own supernatural, I only own Catherine, her kids, and the plot. Warning: Has some swearing Slight smut

[themoonandotherslikeit]

The Hand That Reaches for God -Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

“He touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.” - Richard Siken

-26 Days After-

Pheli’s boots banged down the stairs, her heart thrumming in her chest and her ears ringing from her close proximity to the gunshot. She couldn’t believe she pulled the trigger. Her hands were still shaking. At least it was finally over. Her watch beeped at her wrist, telling her that her hour was up. “Fuck!” She shouted, hopping steps, gripping the handrail. She ran, pushing forward, until she made it out into the street.

The Jeep was running, but hadn’t left three minutes later by some miracle. She flung open the back door and slid in. “Let’s go!” She said breathless, still trying to catch her breath from the run.

Dean frowned at her. “Where’s Gordon?”

“It’s been sixty-four minutes, do you not follow directions?” Pheli asked, patting Ash’s shoulder. “Lets go!”

Ash looked back at her with a frown. “What happened back there? Where’s Gordon? We heard a shot...”

“He’s gone.” Pheli said flatly through clenched teeth. “We need to go. It isn’t safe.”

Ash exchanged a look with Dean in the rear view mirror and put the Jeep in drive.

Pheli watched the city bleed past her as Ash pressed play on his cassette. Her hands gripped hers and Gordons packs that sat on her lap. Dean took her trembling fingers from their tight grip on the fabric of the bag, and into his hand. “Rogues?” He asked her softly.

That would be easier, wouldn’t it? He could’ve been overrun, but she wouldn’t have escaped. They’d question that. A good hunter compared to a girl who still owns lipgloss in an apocalypse, who would believe that he was taken down? She tried to focus on her breathing.

“I can talk to Cas when we get back.” Dean offered.

He was too nice. Would he still offer if he knew what Pheli did? She felt sick to her stomach. “I’ll handle it.” She told him. It was time that she started doing things for herself.

They didn’t speak the rest of the ride. She just looked out the window and tried to think about how things would be better. She was still convincing herself as they pulled up to the camp. She hopped out of the Jeep before it came to a complete stop. “I’ll take the bag.” Dean said cautiously.

“Take Gordon’s too. I was able to grab it before...” She stopped herself.

“You got it.”

She nodded thankfully to him and jogged back to her tent. She opened the flap slowly to find Emerson curled up and still asleep, like she never left. She smiled at her sister, and shedded herself of her weapons and boots. Pheli climbed under the blankets and snuggled in close to her sister. “Em.” She whispered, pressing a kiss on her nose. “You don’t have to be scared anymore. I took care of it.”

Emerson’s eye slowly opened, confusion flooding her face. “What?”

“You won’t ever see him again.”

“Pheli, what did you do?”

Ophelia pushed Emerson’s hair out behind her ear. “I just wanted you to know that it’s okay now. He’s gone, and we will never see him again.”

****

“So I’ve been thinking.” Dean said, leaning against the tree outside of Emerson’s tent.

“God, Dean!” She shouted, holding her chest. She’d been inside of the tent long after Pheli left to go visit Sam. She was only leaving, because her growling stomach was keeping her awake.

“Man, you Maklen girls gotta stop calling me God, it’s just awkward.”

“You’re so annoying.” Emerson huffed, feeling her heartbeat in her ears.

“Like I said before you so rudely interrupted, I’ve been thinking.”

“Well that’s never a good sign.” She said, crossing her arms.

“Hurtful.” He raised an eyebrow.

“So you just wanted me to know that you were thinking? I know it’s rare, but not exactly news worthy.”

“No.” He said, grabbing her hand before she could walk away. She winced and looked down at their hands. “I wanted to talk. I was thinking we needed to talk. There’s been a big misunderstanding...”

She pulled her hand from his. “Dean...”

“Come on.” He said quietly, stepping closer to her.

She fought the urge to run, digging her heels in the dirt. She tried to remind herself that she wasn’t afraid of Dean, but it was hard to when he was blocking her way.

“Just five minutes, Em. I don’t...” He sighed. “I don’t want it to end like this. Not when this... not when we just got started.”

Her eyes flickered to his, and she swallowed the ball in her throat. “Five minutes.” She agreed.

“Come with me.” He offered her a hand, and she crossed her arms in response, but nodded to indicate that she would still follow him.

Dean put his hand in his pocket instead and walked toward the back of the camp. It was dusk, the sky a deep shade of blue, lit and glowing from the sun that hung low on the horizon. It was the time when day kissed the night. Emerson felt a chill run up her spine despite the heat of Summer that still was heavy in the air, and she wrapped her arms around herself.

They reached a solid portion of wall and Dean settled his foot in a crack in the wall and effortlessly hoisted himself up to sit on top of it, favoring his uninjured knee. He reached a hand out to Emerson, and she stared at his palm and extended fingers. “What are you doing?”

“Come on.” He said quietly, offering her a vulnerable smile. “I’m doin a thing.”

She sighed heavily.

She used to be afraid of Dean. She was afraid of the potential for pain. She saw him from the roof, sneaking out back to smoke a cigarette. She saw him kissing girls, pressing them up against the door of the Impala after he learned how to drive. She wouldn’t be one of those girls. She wouldn’t give in to the wiles of someone like Dean Winchester. She knew by looking at him that he could destroy her. It was easy to keep him at a distance then, before she really knew him, but as she looked at his hand and his kind face reaching to her, she knew she shouldn’t be afraid.

She placed her hand in his and let him pull her up. The wall was thicker than she expected, and she was able to easily settle on to it. It was about three feet wide, and she settled close enough to the edge for her feet to dangle. Dean did the same, his pinky brushing hers. “Alright, you’ve got me up here, what now?”

“Now we watch.” He said quietly, pointing at the glowing sky, and the stars that were appearing out of the darkness. “We haven’t really looked up since all of this started, have we?”

“This is what you want to talk about?” She complained. “You have five minutes and you want to talk about the sky...”

“Em.” He placed his hand on hers. “Just look, okay?”

She sighed again and turned her face up. Without the lights from the city, the clear sky was glistening with flakes of sparkling white. Little twinkles winked hello at them. There was still a hint of the sun on the horizon, but yet she was able to see the stars better than she ever did in the city. “Wow.” She whispered. The sight knocked the breath right out of her body.

“I figured we always had our best talks on your roof lookin at the stars. I missed that the most when I went away.”

Her eyes flickered from the speckled night sky to his face. He looked at Emerson like she imagined her face looked like when she saw those stars. His lips were parted, emitting shallow breaths, his cheeks were flushed, and his pupils were wide. “I missed it, too. I stopped going out there when you left.”

“I never wanted that. I didn’t want your life to change when I left.”

“But it did, Dean.” Emerson snapped a bit. “We were never together, but we were never apart either. You were always there, even when I didn’t want you to be. How was I supposed to just keep things the same when a permanent fixture in my life was gone? That’s fucking ridiculous.”

A grin grew on Dean’s face and he laughed a bit to himself. “I think I forgot.”

“Forgot what?” She asked, pulling her hand away from his so she could cross her arms.

“How cute you are when you’re mad at me. When I was away I always tried to picture your face, but it was never quite right. It’s this... this is what I was tryin to remember.”

“Well, I’m glad my annoyance is entertaining to you.” She huffed, turning back to the sky. “Is that all, Dean?” Her heart was tired, and the darker it got the more the fear bubbled up inside of her. It had gotten so much worse since Pheli said she’d taken care of it. Emerson knew that couldn’t be good, but she hadn’t figured out how to get the answers that she needed.

“No, that’s not all.” Dean said, clearing his throat. “This shit with Lisa... it’s caught me off guard, and I’m sorry. I didn’t expect to ever see her again and then there she was...”

“I get it, Dean. I saw the baby... he’s...”

“He’s not mine.”

“He could be. You wanted him to be, and it may be your only chance at a family. She’s single.”

Deans face scrunched up, his nose wrinkling, and his eyebrows coming together. “You’re not seriously suggesting that.”

“I am.”

“I don’t want to be with Lisa.”

“Can’t forgive her?”

“Don’t want to.” Dean grunted, staring at Emerson. He was waiting for her to turn her head and look at him, but she was planted with her chin up toward the stars.

“Seems unreasonable.”

“You’re being unreasonable.” He groaned in annoyance.

“Aww, I forgot how cute it was when you were annoyed with me.” She said flatly.

“Touché.” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m serious, Em. Lisa was never... she was never right for me. She was just there in my darkest time. She was there after my accident when I needed someone the most.”

-2 Years Before-

“Where is he?” Emerson asked as she ran through the hallway at the hospital.

Mary Winchester stood up from her chair in the waiting room, her tissue against her mouth as she tried to stifle her sobs. John was nowhere to be found, but that was no real surprise.

Sam took his mother into his arms and they cried together. “He’s strong, Mom... he will make it... he...”

They were watching a movie at the dorm when they heard. Dean was in an accident. Some kind of explosion, and he was stable enough to be transferred back to the states for surgery. They didn’t have any other information. She felt sick, like the room was spinning. It was the feeling of being too drunk. It wasn’t fun, just dizzying. She gripped ahold of the arm rest of a chair and closed her eyes.

She wanted to channel anger and annoyance like she usually did when it came to him, but how could she when he was hurt? Her legs shook and she fell to her knees. He told her he thought he would die out there. His words from so long ago rang in her ears. “Part of me thinks I’m gonna die out there.” She gripped the small lobby trash can that was next to her and vomited.

It all seemed so stupid. All the times they fought, all the times that she pushed him away even though she wanted to pull him closer. She wanted to go back in time and beg him to stay. She wanted to kiss him at Happy Fun Land. She wanted to take it all back, so then at least if he died they would’ve had that time. Now they had nothing but missed opportunities and mistakes.

****

He came out of surgery a few agonizing hours later. They only allowed one visitor at a time in the ICU, so Mary went in, then Sam. Emerson and Pheli sat in the waiting room with their hands tangled together.

“He’s out of surgery, this is good.” Pheli said gently.

“Yeah.” Emersons voice was small.

“You know he won’t die, Em. He’s got to live another day to annoy you.”

“Sounds like something he’d say.”

“It is something he’d say. I’m sure he will tell you it himself when he’s awake.”

Emerson’s nose and eyes burned from the tears she was holding back, and her chest felt like it was in knots. “What if he... what if he doesn’t wake up, Phel? He was in an explosion... and the last thing I said to him was that talking to him was a mistake.”

“When was that?”

“Christmas senior year.”

“When you left the house? I knew it!”

“He just...” She let out a desperate gasp. She was drowning. She couldn’t fucking breathe.

“Hey, hey.” Pheli said, alarmed. She turned and grabbed the paper bag that held their earlier dinner order, and put it up to Emerson’s lips. “Breathe, come on. You’re hyperventilating.”

Emerson breathed into the bag. In and out. In and out. In and out until she was steady again. Until the tears stopped streaming down her cheeks. “Sometimes I think I’ve done everything wrong.”

“You’ve done your best.” Pheli promised quietly.

“I haven’t. I should’ve done more... I should’ve...”

Sam came into the waiting room, causing both of the girls  to sit up straighter. “How is he?” Ophelia asked, because Emerson couldn’t find the words.

“He’s... he’s stable right now. The surgery went well, but they’re worried about infection. He was...” Sam’s voice cracked and it took him a moment to recompose himself before he met Emerson’s eyes. “He was left out there for a few days before someone found him. There’s a lot of damage, but they hope he will walk again.”

Her stomach dropped. She didn’t know what to say. The words hadn’t been created to describe what she was thinking. Or if they had, she didn’t remember them. She wasn’t even squeezing Pheli’s hand anymore. Her fingers were just limp inside of her sisters.

“Is he awake?” Pheli asked.

“No. They’re keeping him sedated... they say he will be in a lot of pain.”

“Can I see him?” Emerson found herself asking, before she could stop herself. She wasn’t family. She wasn’t his girlfriend. They didn’t exactly end amicably. She never sent him a letter back. She didn’t deserve to see him, but yet.

“That’s why I was coming out. I’m going to take Mom home. I was hoping you would sit with him. Phel, you mind driving? I don’t think I should.”

“Of course.” The girls said at once, and Pheli reached for Sam’s hand.

“Room eight” He told Emerson, before they hurried off to grab Mary.

She stared down the hallway and his room seemed miles away. She suddenly felt very small, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t the one hurt. He was. So Emerson walked to him like she should have a thousand times before.

Sam didn’t prepare her, but when she looked at him she didn’t know how she would’ve taken it, knowing ahead of time. Dean Winchester wasn’t a small man. He towered over six feet tall, and he always had a thicker frame. He could’ve been a body guard or a football player, so it was heart stopping to see him laying a hospital bed looking so small. She approached him slowly, as if her presence would disturb him somehow.

There was a tube down his throat, and tape on his chin. His lips were chapped and cracked. He looked so pale. There were tubes going out all over him, and his leg was out and wrapped up in a metal contraption to keep it in place. The more she looked at him, the more stitches and cuts she found. He was bruised and beaten.

She pulled up the chair next to him and lowered herself onto it. “Dean.” Her voice came out small, like a child’s. “It’s me... Em, I don’t know if you can hear me.” She chewed the inside of her cheek, trying to hold back her emotion, and find the words all in one motion.

She decided to go with what was the most familiar. Something that was easy. “You just have to get all the attention, don’t you?” She forced a smile. “God, that’s so annoying. We didn’t forget about you, so you really didn’t need to go and get blown up to make a statement.”

Her fingers found his. There was still dirt under his nails. Why didn’t anyone clean them?

“This is the most ridiculous thing you’ve done to get me to come to you, but I’m here. Guess I’m the sucker, always falling for your tricks.” Her thumb rubbed circles on the back of his hand.

Her chest was tight and she sucked in a breath. She was suddenly aware of the sterile air, the constant beeps and hums of the machines. She wondered if he even smelled like himself and if he ever would again. “I told you not to die. You didn’t listen. God why don’t you ever listen? I’m so mad at you... I’ve been mad at you for a long time now, but this... I won’t be able to ever forgive you if you die. You hear me, Winchester? You know me, I have ways... I’ll...” She lifted his hand and pressed a kiss on the back of his hand. “I won’t survive that. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? If I lose you it’ll fucking break me. I know we aren’t... I know I didn’t write you back. I know the night you left was... I just know, okay? I know we aren’t in love. We aren’t together or meant to be or any of that shit that Pheli is obsessed with, but knowing that you’re out there just makes my life a little better. If I knew you were gone it’d just... it’d be a goddamn tragedy.” She reached forward and touched his cheek.  

“I don’t believe in all that stuff. The stuff that people write romance books about, but you... Dean I could write a book about you.” She leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

After a week Sam and Pheli had to go back to school. He was studying Pre Law and he couldn’t miss anymore class. Mary went back to work. Evidentially when the boys moved out of the house she kicked John out. Emerson was proud of her for that, and she knew Dean would be, too, if he didn’t already know.

Everyone left, except for Emerson.

Most of the next two weeks he was sedated. He developed an infection in his leg, and it was touch and go for awhile. They thought he would lose the leg.

“You aren’t losing this leg, Dean. You hear me?” Emerson said sternly. “I won’t let them cut it off, so you have to fight.”

She told him to, and he did. He had another surgery, and despite how mangled it looked, he was able to keep the leg.

“We can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for this family, Emerson.” Mary said, as she offered Em a cup of coffee.

“It’s no problem, really.” She said awkwardly, shifting on her feet. She blew on the coffee before taking a sip. “If It were me he would be up here annoying me, so I thought I’d return the favor.”

“He was always a little lost on you.”

Emerson coughed in surprise, her coffee shooting down her wind pipe. “I.. what... how do you mean?”

Mary smiled bashfully, looking down. “I’m sorry, I thought you knew. He was always looking at you through the window, or when he was working on the car. I thought you were much too young for him, but that was then. Age is more of a number the older you get, don’t you think? When he convinced Sam to ask out your sister, I was sure it was the start of something, but he is shy.”

“Dean never came across as shy to me.”

“He acts very confident, but most of it is a show. It’s a distraction from what’s real. It’s easier than being vulnerable. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

“I have.” Emerson said quietly, her cheeks warming up. “I just didn’t think... I don’t know. I thought it was all a game.”

“With you? No, sweetheart. It never was a game. Girls come and go, but you never have.” She offered a warm smile and pulled Emerson into a hug.

She left as quickly as she came, like she always did. Emerson watched her go with a wave and went back to Deans room. She opened the door and her coffee fell from her hand and crashed to the floor. “Dean?”

He was sitting up in bed, just barely propped up by a few pillows, but there he was. He was awake. He smiled at her. “Hey Sweetheart.”

“Oh my god.” She sloshed through the coffee and closed the space between them. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

“Thirsty.” He admitted.

She reached for her water cup and placed the straw at his lips. “Here.”

“Thanks.” He said After a few satisfying sips. “What happened, Em? I’m not dead, am I?”

“What? No... There was an accident... an explosion.” She pressed her lips together. She hoped for the moment that he would wake up. The moment he would smile at her, but she didn’t know what to say, not really. Nothing seemed like enough. “Sam got the call when we were all together, and I came. Of course I came.”

Dean smiled a bit. “Well that’s a fuckin relief. I was sure I was dead. Looked like heaven in here.” He tilted his head to the side.

“You’re medicated.” She said, trying to meet their usual snark, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She couldn’t hide how happy she was to see him up and talking.

“Missed me, huh? Couldn’t wait to run to my side.”

“That’s it.” She rolled her eyes. “Can’t stay away from you anymore, Dean. I’m head over heels.”

“Knew it.”

“God, some things never change.”

Deans face softened, his shoulders wilting. “Aw, Em. Hey, it’s okay.”

She reached up and touched her cheek. She was crying. When the fuck did that happen?

“I’ll try to not be such an ass...”

“No... Don’t. I’m glad it didn’t change. I’m glad you’re still you.”

“‘Mere.” He said, opening his arms.

Emerson moved before she could really stop herself, and she allowed herself to sit next to him opposite his bad leg.

“Nah, all the fuckin way.” He said, widening his arms and gesturing for her to come closer with his fingers. “I won’t break, promise.”

“You don’t know that.” She grumbled, but complied, laying down curled against his side.

He wrapped his arms around her tightly and pressed his lips to the crown of her head. “Thanks for bein here.”

“There’s nowhere else for me to be but here.”

“How long has it been?”

“Almost a month.”

He frowned deeply. “Where are we? Shouldn’t you be in school...”

“No.” She said, sitting up a bit to look at him. “Everyone else had to go back. Your mom... Sam. I told you, I have nowhere else to be but here. I wasn’t going to leave you to fight alone.”

Dean looked at her, shaking his head with a  smile growing on his lips. He brushed her hair behind her ear with his fingers. “You’re something else, Emerson Maklen.”

“You already knew that.”

“I must’ve forgot, because this... I dunno, this feels new.”

She had an unbelievable urge to kiss him in that moment. To hear the heart monitor on his finger send his pulse leaping. She wanted to feel him smile against her mouth and pull her closer, but there was time. Looking at Dean awake and smiling, laying in his arms, it felt like they had all the time in the world, so she laid her head back on his chest. “It’s not new.” She murmured.

They laid like that, her head on his chest, and his arms wrapped around her for what seemed like a life time.

They listened to the beeps of the monitors like rain on a tin roof. Emerson was so used to the sounds of the room, the chatter of doctors and nurses, the lights and beeps, the drips of his IV that it was almost soothing to her. She closed her eyes and thought that maybe; just maybe things would finally work out. After everything they’d been through it felt easy, it felt so damn easy. It felt like it was always like that, and would always be like that.

Emerson thought seriously then about telling him. She thought out the words in her head to say everything she’d wanted to say all those times that she held back, because there was love and then there was her and Dean. There wasn’t a name for it, and she was thankful that there wasn’t a monitor showing her heartbeat. It was flying away, a fluttering bird against her ribcage. She was desperate to know if he felt it, too.

She opened her mouth to tell him, to take the leap, the risk, because they were worth it. She opened her mouth to tell him, and his arm that rested on her hip fell limp next to her. She thought he’d fallen asleep at first, until she heard the endless beepof the monitor flat-lining.

It all happened so fast, in a blur. She sat up and saw his lips turning blue-gray. She blinked at him and before she could process, a team pushed into the room. A nurse removed her from the bed and another started CPR. They pushed on his chest hard, rhythmically. Emerson knew CPR. She learned for her mom, but yet she didn’t. It didn’t even occur to her. She just sat there, useless. “What happened?” She found herself asking. She wasn’t even crying. She was in shock.

“Somebody get her out of here!”

Emerson was pulled out, fingers wrapping around her biceps, taking her back out into the hallway. The door clicked shut, and she fell to the floor, her back pressed against the wall.

He had a Pulmonary Embolism. He threw a clot in his leg, and it caused cardiac arrest. His heart stopped right as Emerson was memorizing the sound of it beating. His heart stopped, and she just stared at him like an idiot. She couldn’t bring herself to call Sam and tell him that she felt Dean die. She couldn’t tell him that she felt his life leave his body.

Thankfully, for her, she didn’t have to. The staff got his heart back beating and started him on medication to dissolve the clot. He was sedated again. They called Mary, and she called Sam.

It felt like the pirate ship ride at Happy Fun Land. It was a massive boat with benches that swung back and forth. The higher it swung, the more the patrons felt like they were falling. Emerson lost her stomach. She felt like she was swinging higher and higher. She worried she would hit the stars and disappear. It was an eternal swing at the hospital. The moment it looked like things were evening out, it would swing the opposite way again. She wanted to get off the fucking ride.

Ophelia, Sam, and Mary arrived at the hospital later that night, but Emerson still felt impossibly alone.

Dean woke up two days later, but when Emerson asked Dr. Ramsey if she could see him, he informed her that Dean didn’t want visitors. He was back in the ICU, and he removed everyone’s name from his approved visitor list. Even Sam. He wanted to be alone.

“I don’t understand.” Emerson’s voice cracked. “I’ve been here the whole time… Why doesn’t he want me there now?”

Dr. Ramsey sighed, and he took Emerson’s hand. It was a kindness, but it felt more like a betrayal. “He doesn’t remember much from the last month, if anything at all. He was very out of it from all of the medication. We were prepared for that possibility.”

They’d discussed it before, but to call her prepared was a bit of an exaggeration.

“But he was awake…”

“I know this is difficult, but this was his decision. It’s not uncommon for short term memory loss after a major cardiac episode.”

“Will he ever remember?” She asked, her heart sinking through her chest, and stomach into the floor.

“There’s always a possibility, but it’s unlikely. I’m so sorry.”

“There’s nowhere else for me to be but here.” Emerson grabbed her bag and walked out of the hospital, not turning back no matter how much she wanted to.

-26 Days After-

“I understand.” Emerson said softly, staring back out into space. It was impossible to see the city scape in the darkness.

“I don’t think you do. Just because she was there then doesn’t mean she didn’t throw everything away. Doesn’t mean I owe her...”

“You don’t owe me, either. I wasn’t there, after all.”

“That isn’t what this is about.” He sighed. “This is coming out all wrong.”

“Things usually happen the way they’re supposed to, Dean. It isn’t a coincidence that she’s here, it can’t be.” Emerson said, trying to lean into the idea that her distance was from Lisa. She wished it was that simple.

“The universe is a sick fuck, that’s all.”

“That’s one thing we can agree on.”

“Let’s not let it ruin this.”

“It already has.” She murmured into the breeze.

—————

Chapter Eighteen

Get caught up!

Tag List:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies

@hanaissupergirl

@deans-baby-momma

@cpag7

@tftumblin

@squirrelnotsam

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in weekly updates!

[wayward-demons]

Rock Band

Word Count: 1082

Characters: Dean X OC

Notes: Hey Guys! This idea came to me while I played Rock Band at a friends house this weekend. Thought I could dip my toe back into writing and see what happens with this. Enjoy!

Dean hadn’t been to an apartment complex it what seemed like a long time. But the neatly lined buildings all sat looking like one another as he followed the car in front of him. Eventually it parked in an overcrowded parking lot, forcing him to park a little farther down. He jumped out of his car quickly and found his leader, a blonde with a what he hoped were something real.

She giggled, clinging to her purse tightly before making her way towards the buildings. Dean followed closely, this was the sort of place he would get lost, I mean everything looked the same. But before he knew it he was being led into a hallway and up a few flights of stairs before she was taking out her keys and unlocking a door with the number “307” on it.

The place was neat, neater than Dean would have imagined it would be. A couch facing a huge flat screen, a table with a few books on it, the kitchen was visible and clean and clear of any clutter. “Nice place.” He muttered.

“Thanks. It’s just temporary. Saving up for a real place soon.” She tossed her things down on the table that separated them both.

That’s when Dean spotted it. A little fake looking electric drum set. He absentmindedly made his way towards it. His fingers reaching out to touch the pads. Each had its own color ring around it. Dean cleared his throat, “What’s this go to?” He asked before he could think about it.

Again, he heard the soft giggle leaving her lips, he finally pried his eyes off the drums and looked up at her. “You’ve never played Rock Band?” She asked, closing the gap between them. She reached past him and handed Dean the sticks that went with the drums.

Dean bounced them in his hands, getting a feel for them. he gently let them hit the pads and was disappointed on how quiet they were. His new friend had turned on the TV and a game system, letting them both come to life for a moment before she opens the game and the sound of a guitar riff glued his eyes to the TV now.

“Here,” She said, walking past Dean and grabbing a chair from the table. She set it beside Dean and let him move it where he needed to. He gladly sat down, adjusting the drums to his height and tapping on the pads once more with the sticks. “What have you been up to where you haven’t played Rock Band before?” She asked, taking note of the cute childlike smile on his face.

He sat anxious as he watched her log in and find the list of songs, she stopped scrolling and showed him how he could pick the songs he wanted as well. “If you hold this down, you can make a playlist of sorts. Like a real concert and we can play more than one at a time.”

Dean loved it. He played song after song, banging the drums until he was sweating. He revealed in his high scores and got pissed when he was low. He almost asked to repeat the songs, so he could try again, knowing that he could do better the next time, but he stopped himself from trying to be so competitive. She stood next to him, singing her heart out to the songs he chose and handing him a beer to drink when she could.

“There’s a guitar,” She pointed out after about 5 songs. Dean’s eyes lit up. He practically jumped out of his seat and reached for the hunk of plastic with colored buttons. He strapped it on and felt like a kid when he started to play his first song. He didn’t realize just how into it he was, just how engrossed in the game he had gotten.

He danced, and bent down, he stuck his tongue out, but it wasn’t until he jumped and remembered that he was three floors up with sleeping neighbors under him, that he realized what he was doing, where he was, and who he was with.

The beers from the night were kicking in, and Dean was having more fun then he could ever remember having. Before he knew it, he was singing, and she was playing guitar. And if she thought that Dean playing the guitar was bad, Dean singing was worse.

He hit none of the notes, he was too into it and didn’t even look at the words half the time. But no one cared, they were having fun. Just the two of them drinking and laughing, with Dean being a little too extra while playing a game he had never heard of before.

Out of breath he turned to her, seeing the concentration on her face as she hit her notes on time. She stood next to him, her foot tapping to the song and a small smile on her face. She wasn’t as into it as Dean was, but then again, she wasn’t living out her own rock fantasy like he was while playing.

The song ended and for what felt like the first time they both took a long drink and a long breath before they broke the silence. “This is the most fun game ever.” Dean muttered, playing with the cord to the microphone he still held.

“Yeah, it’s a good one.” This was when she pulled out her phone and choked a little on her drink. “Its 4am.” She said, eyes looking up at Dean. “We had so much fun we lost track of time!”

Dean took a step back from the TV after plugging in the HDMI cord to the back. The screen lit up, and he smiled proudly. He bent down, cracking open the case to the game he had just bought and let the new machine eat the disk slowly.

He took a step back, watching as the screen changed and the sound of a guitar being stoked filled the room. He turned to his brother with a huge smile on his face and threw his hands up in triumph. Sam laughed, “This was your big surprise?”

Sam had the plastic guitar strapped around himself loosely. He too wore a smile, not unlike Deans as they both made their characters, laughing as Dean picked a pink haired kid to be his own and Sam debated on keeping his long hair for his character. 

[dessert-storm]

Sasha, when someone threatens a Winchester

[deansoutros]

BLACK

ch 1.

ch 2.

ch 3.

ch 4.

ch 5.

that’s all there is for now and as much as i’ve tried i can’t seem to continue this story so i apologize :( 

[mummybear]

Working on another Dean story

might be a one shot might be a mini series not really sure yet....

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight - May 2023

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!

Turtles

@rayraywillis -

Other SM names? - Discord: rayraywiilis66#8881, Twitter

OTP? - Destiel

Other fandoms? - OFMD (but not very active)

Looking for in the Pond? - I love reading and listening to fics, mainly the latter because of visual impairment. I still have some sight left but I am very low vision/legally blind. I have been an avid reader my whole life and it sucks I am losing my sight, but glad to have found podfics and audiobooks. I am a finale denier. I think what they did was a travesty and Jensen should get his chance to finish sharing his fix it with us. I hope and pray they get picked up. I look forward to diving into all the stories that u guys have to share.

Something to signal boost? - I make rec lists on request and share with the community. Mainly I just comment, boost, reblog/tweet, and support all the awesome writers and artists I meet. I love sharing their stories and art and getting them the most exposure I can to help them out.i always like/ give kudos, comment, rec/share all the goodies I find. I subscribe and follow and just try and support as much as I can since I can't contribute any other way. I have wondered what being a beta entails and would be open for that if possible. But I am here to enjoy, explore, and support.

Pairings you read? - Destiel, Gabriel, samifer( if done right), saileen, and sometimes debriel

Genres you read? - I like angst as long as there is fluff/smut or a happy ending, smut of course, pwp, porn, fluff, prefer m/m slash the smuttier the better but not a deal breaker if it's not smut as long as it's fluffy and has feels.

Favorite writer(s)? - Omg that one is hard NorthernSparrow is in my top 5 for sure but bendingsignpost, serperis, @castielslostwings, aleandri, exterminator, nerdynerdinstien, tenoko1 litra, , @bunnymaccool, @godoflaundrybaskets, @malmuses, @icaruspendragon, @bobwess, missannthropic, and skeens_leap round out all my favorites.

@raiseyourhandifyourenobody -

This new member is cool and mysterious, like Billie, but without the scythe and drama.

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

@sammysnaughtygirl -

Other fandoms? - TVD, OTH

Looking for in the Pond? - Friends and more writing experience.

Something to signal boost? - I create gifs, stories, graphics for Sam and Sam/Brooke (OTH)

Pairings you read? - I like SAm with almost anyone, but Brooke (OTH) is my fave.

Genres you read? - Everything, just not too much smut

Favorite writer(s)? - I like them all!

What do you like to write? - All kinds of stories with Sam, Brooke (OTH), and Damon (TVD)

Masterlist - Don't have one.

@the-family-business-83 -

Other SM names? - @t-dog, Discord: Don'tTouchMyBlueberries#1868, Instagram

Other fandoms? - Marvel, Star Wars, Harry Potter

Looking for in the Pond? - Looking to grow my outreach and exposure as a writer, to grow my followers and be more established.

Pairings you read? - DeanXFemale reader, DeanXOC/OFC, SamXFemale reader, SamXOC/OFC

Genres you read? - Everything

What do you like to write? - Mostly angst and genfics, and the occasional fluff, but i dabble with writing smut as well.

Masterlist! - Don't have one, yet.

Most underappreciated fic? - The Long Haul

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @princessmisery666, @thoughtslikeaminefield, and @katbratsupernaturalwhore!

[jules-s-winchester]

I think you’re adorable- Masterlist

Dean Winchester and Julia Singer have known each other their whole lives. When John Winchester goes missing Dean not only gets the help of Sam but Julia as well. Only problem is John doesn’t want to be found

A supernatural rewrite

Julia Singer x Dean Winchester (eventual)

Warnings: Violence, swearing, angst, sexual content. 

Chapter one - In the beginning 

Chapter two - could have knocked  

Chapter three- Sammy 

Chapter four- Pilot