#definitely won some kind of shitty lottery

[milkweedman]

Totally fucked up the order, so am now attempting to recreate it from the pictures that i took of each warp on the board, with the hopes that the 3rd warp will at least be well behaved. If it isnt im gonna need to do another round of towels (or maybe just a test warp) bc i cant be doing this on the blanket commission. Am very very aware of how tangled this warp will be. Only potential saving grace is that imo cotton doesnt tangle anywhere near as badly as wool, so hopefully it wont be too horribly bad.

It is going, though. About halfway done dressing the heddles. Next will be sleying the reed. Hoping to get all the warping done by tomorrow.

[ameagrice]

Young Years

chapter three | not so bad after all

THE LAST OF US

tommy miller x fem reader

There’s a quiet in the morning, when Freddie still sleeps, giving you time where you can sit and think. Morning sun streams into the living room, and sitting in it warms you right to the bones.

Two days had passed since the movie night in town, and it was energising in a way you’d been missing since 2003. You’d dragged yourself out of bed this morning and forced yourself into the shower while Freddie slept. Standing in the bare bathroom in just a towel, brushing your teeth with the shitty toothbrush from back home, you took notice of the bare walls, and the dusty extractor fan. And something lit inside of you that hadn’t been lit for a while.

You let Freddie wake up while you got ready for the day in some random clothes stored in old bin bags up in the tiny attic space. Maybe the previous owners thought they’d be coming home, so they put them up there for safe storage. Whatever the reason, you thanked them, because despite the slight musty smell, they were all in amazing condition. Four full bags sat waiting for you, of men’s outfits (which you threw right to the back), women’s clothes (which took up two bags and was promptly dropped down to the ground at the bottom of the ladder) and a bag of boy’s clothes, just a bit too big in length for Freddie but also in good condition. You felt almost silly for smiling like you’d won the lottery as you sifted through them. The women’s pants were a size too big in width, but decent in length, so you felt they’d do. There were jackets in bright colours you hadn’t seen for years, and ohmygodohmygod were they Levi’s? You turned the shorts around and looked over the brown stitched square on the waistband of them—definitely Levi’s.

You looked up, putting the shorts down in your lap at the sight of your son rubbing his eyes sleepily in the doorway, just in the light of the sun.

“Good morning,” you smiled, and your heart almost burst when he smiled cutely back. You put the clothes to one side and stood up, a prep in your step that you were fond of, and scooped him up, your back complaining under the weight of him on your hip. Some might have said he was getting too big to be carried around, now. Hell, your bones were shouting it at you. But you’d never get these years back.

“What can we have breakfast?” You sighed, setting him on the counter.

“Hmmmm,” he thought. “Toast?”

You clicked your tongue, reaching for the bread bin. “That is a good choice, little man.”

There wasn’t much in the small kitchen but a couple of things your new neighbours had brought over. The morning after the movie night, just as the kids on the street were heading to school, you’d had a couple of light knocks at your door. Mindful of Freddie still sleeping, you’d unlocked and opened it quietly, smiling politely but wondering what the hell this stout, red-cheeked woman was doing on your step.

“Good morning!” She beamed, and you tried to keep yours. Too early for this kind of joy. Her dark, short curls were tied in a large bun at the top of her head, and she still wore a bright orange dressing gown that reached her slippered feet. “I’m Pam, nice to meet you!”

Pam had a very distinct Brooklyn accent, and dull-blue eyes. She gave you the feeling of a nanna who just wanted to smother her children and grandchildren in hugs and kisses and feed them until they were fat.

You told her your name in return. “Can I help you with anything?” You shook your head a little, watching for her reaction.

Pam shook the wide wicker basket you hadn’t notice she held. “Noticed one of the girls from patrol brought you here the other day. We didn’t see you at all until last night in the hall, remember? So I got to thinkin’, ‘Pam, this woman needs a friend and some good food’. Didn’t figure you’d got a moment to go get anything yet. So I put together a little package for you, sweetie.”

“That’s…that’s really thoughtful,” you sighed gently, in some sort of relaxing state. “Thank you.”

Pam all but shoved it into your hands. “Now, we live just next door, see?” She gestured to the house on your left. “You’re welcome any time you like. My girls have just left for school so I’ve got a bit of cleaning to do, and dear lord I gotta get cooking brisket. I got some brisket last week…”

You hadn’t been able to get rid of her.

“Toast and jam coming right up,” you popped the button, and Freddie cheered. “You know what we’re gonna do today?”

“What?”

You started spreading the jam from the small pot. “We’re going to get some paint.”

“Paint?” Freddie looked incredibly confused. “What for?”

—

Alongside the many other surprising things this town had, a hardware store was one of them. Trying to avoid a lot of talk, now you knew people had noticed you, you took a small box paintbrushes, and two lots of teal paint.

“What do you think?” You looked at the colour swatches in front of the tins. “Teal or darker?”

“Teal!”

Which was how you ended up standing on the toilet seat, paintbrush up to the ceiling, carefully outlining the edges. Freddie was chattering away in the living room accompanied by the box of toys you’d taken in there for him to play with. It wasn’t very hard to keep him occupied these days. The poor kid hadn’t had many toys at all growing up; you simply hadn’t had the resources.

Arizona.

A complete and total lie. The month of hiking from Virginia to Wyoming had almost killed you. Literally. Between the days of not eating to feed your kid instead, and the constant fight against the elements and infected, you were sure many a time that you’d made the wrong decision.

You hadn’t wanted to tell anyone yet where you’d really come from, too afraid to let people know what you were really about. Life back in Virginia had been a different world to this life in Wyoming, this centre of bliss. Between Freddie’s father running off at the first mention of parenthood, and your constant struggle from then onward, life was a fight you’d learned to navigate your own way.

Having arrived here, seeing just what you’d paid information and trader for, was like the world finally giving back. It had taken your youth. It had taken your freedom and happiness for a long, long time. But through all of your efforts of surviving motherhood alone, trying to survive in a place that didn’t want you to…it was overwhelming and a great relief to know it finally wasn’t all for nothing.

You added another splash of colour to your walls.

To your life.

—

By week three, you grew antsy.

And you knew just the person to go to.

“Hey there!” Pam threw up her hands, beaming. She stepped back, and you could smell the beautiful smell of—was that actual duck? “Come in, come in! I’ve just started cooking!”

Freddie clung onto your hand, pressing in your side as you entered the house. You’d never seen a fuller place.

“It smells amazing in here,” you commented. Books were stacked from floor to ceiling next to a full bookshelf, and photographs filled pretty much every space on every wall in sight. “Duck?”

“It is, indeed!” Pam bustled through the hallway. The layout was similar to your own house. “Want some? We got plenty to go around.”

What harm could it do to say yes?

“Uh, that’d be great, actually. Thank you.”

She waved her hand, ushering you into the kitchen. “Oh, you don’t need to thank me, sweetie. Got more than enough for everyone here. And who might this little guy be?”

You smiled, looking down at Freddie. He smiled shyly. “This is my boy, Freddie. You gonna say hi?”

“Hi,” he muttered, hiding his face in your jacket straight after.

You laughed with Pam at his shyness.

“Waiting on the girls to come back from school, and the husband’s still at the bar with Tommy, but you’re welcome to make yourself at home.”

“Tommy?” That caught your attention. Pam hummed, opening the oven and pulling out the tray of duck. “Tommy Miller?”

“Yeah. You met him yet?”

“I have, actually, the first night I actually tried to socialise. Saved me from a pretty unfortunate incident with some guy who couldn’t take a hint,” you huffed a laugh.

Pam groaned. “Ugh—hate guys like that.”

“Tell me about it.”

A best of silence fell over you, and determined to keep the evening light (and to make it seem like you definitely weren’t struggling for things to say) you said the first thing that popped into your head.

“So,” you watched as Freddie left your side warily, and began walking his diplodocus dinosaur up and down the kitchen table. “How long have you guys been here?”

“Oh, about two years, now, give or take,” Pam nodded. “Group of us found this place pretty much deserted back in early 2014. It looked pretty much intact—” she lowered her voice, looking from yourself to your son, “infected didn’t seem to come out this far. So we got it cleaned up as best we could, then started on building the fences to surround the place. And now you’re seeing the rest of our efforts. Gates, stronger walls, our little community. It all works out well, I’d say.”

And it did. The concept of not having to fight like hell to get something you needed still felt a little strange to you—everything here, Maria explained in your first week, was free game, shared between the people who inhabited the community. It was a wonderful idea, but you wondered how long it could last, and more importantly, if it would.

“You mentioned your girls going to school?”

Pam hummed, stirring something on the stove. “It’s a big enough place. Only got a couple’a teachers but it’s better than nothing. You thinkin’ of sending the little one?”

Your heart raced every time you thought of leaving Freddie somewhere you wouldn’t be, but you knew this was important for him. He was five, now. And needed desperately to be around kids his own age, learning about life as normally as possible.

“I was.” You nodded. As if sensing you wanted to talk more about it, Pam nodded you over, and you stood with your hands in your pockets as you talked. Weirdly, you almost felt seventeen again, standing and talking with your mother as she cooked. It hurt. Bad. “I’m worried about leaving him. He’s never been away from me a second in his life, Pam. Ever.”

She pursed her lips, but her eyes weren’t without sympathy. She put down the wooden spoon on the side, and folded her arms to look at you. You were taller than her, a good two heads at least, but she gave the feeling of somebody who knew what they were talking about—a mother and a woman with life experience and a kind but firm heart.

“That place, the school, is well protected. This whole community is protected day and night by people who have the same worries as you and I, darling.” She sighed, and you felt yourself frowning. “I’m not saying it won’t be hard. Every time my husband and children walk out the front door, it is a constant struggle to not chase after them and pull them back. But we’re all here, every one of us in this community, for the same reason; to get some semblance of life back. If it makes you feel better, could talk to Maria about picking up some sort of duty around the place to keep your mind off of things. But the first step to living properly again is by letting that little boy take steps on his own, mama.”

—

“I need something to do.”

Maria lifted her eyes from her bowl of cereal. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” you hurried. Freddie clung to you half-asleep, arms around your neck loosely. “I need something to do.”

“Are you wearing Levi’s?” Her mouth gaped, eying your jeans. “What d’you mean you need something to do? We do meetings and yoga—”

“I’m not going to yoga, Maria,” you huffed. The older woman snickered. “I need a job. Give me something to do.”

“Well, what are you interested in doing?”

You faltered. What were you interested in doing? It was hard to think of things you were good at when you hadn’t had the opportunity to explore in the last decade. Back in high school, at the ripe age of sixteen before things turned to shit, you’d enjoyed sitting in art class drawing aimless patterns, or twirling watered-down paint over the back of your hand with a fine brush.

“Got anything to do with art around here?”

“Not really. There’s a small hardware store that sells paints and decor things, but other than that…”

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. “What about…what about...” you thought hard. You wanted stability and safety, and there were people who guarded the place…

“What about patrol?”

Maria’s face tightened. “Are you sure? We have a rota for who does what time, but…” her eyes moved to Freddie. “Are you sure you want to try that? I mean, it’s your choice, but there’s a lot of going out into Jackson itself, might come across raiders or infected. Anything could happen.”

If it fit around what you hoped would be a stable event in your son’s life, it would have to do.

This chapter is such a filler omg.

Taglist:

@mimi-luvzyu @totallyspicegurl @pedritosdarling

[generalcircus]

Future Hero Uses Fake $100 Bill At 11 Year Old's Lemonade Stand

How does that saying go? When a man gives you a counterfeit $100 bill for your overpriced lemons, post the interaction on YouTube, let it go viral, and someone will surely start a GoFundMe for you that'll raise like six trillion times more than the initial goal. Or something like that.

Well that's just what happened to 11 year-old lemonade stand owner/operator Jeremy Ryzhonkov earlier this summer when a man decided to use his freshly printed fake Benjamin to buy $20 worth of snacks and drinks, thus getting $80 back in real money from the young entrepreneur. The kind of funny yet VERY egregious act was caught on camera as the lemonade tycoon was apparently filming for his YouTube channel at the time. Very convenient...

And as these things typically do, the story went viral shortly after local police decided to take it public. A neighbor then started a GoFundMe for the poor sap which has already raised over $25,000 (hopefully in real bills). I guess it pays to be paid in fake money.

So what's the moral of the story? Good always defeats evil? Nice guys finish first? GoFundMe is proof that people will always have money to blow on someone who experiences a slight inconvenience? Film yourself selling overpriced sugar water to people until some dirt bag pays you in monopoly money and you'll walk off into the sunset having won the karma lottery? I don't know what the moral of this story is but this kid is definitely benefiting from the scammers lack of having any. Heck, he should be sending this crappy criminal a thank you card with a real hundred included so the dude has something to go off of when printing the next batch.

And as for that crappy criminal, at least he was smart enough to wear sunglasses when looking directly into the camera. That should delay his capture by at least a couple of hours. And cut the guy some slack. I can only imagine how hard it is to find a good place to burn a fake Benjamin. Anyone who has ever watched more than 15 minutes of any criminal show on TV knows counterfeit $100s are by far the hardest bills to not only accurately recreate, but also use. They aren't like those $1 or $5 bills that your grandma could make with a printer she bought 30 years ago. And hell, spending a fake $100 seems even harder than actually making the fucking things. Where would you rather try to spend one? A bank? Or some half assed lemonade stand run by a kid with one of those part mohawk, part whatever the hell you wanna call it haircuts. And you know anyone walking around with that hairdo has harmed at least a couple small mammals. We all know the prequel to a serial killer when we see one.

I think the real moral of this story is always scam a soon to be serial killer whenever you can. Get their name out there. Get their fingerprints off of whatever shitty dixie cups they gave you their overpriced lemonade in. The police will thank you some day.

[teatitty]

Package Deal

Barry’s arrival is a quiet affair; he doesn’t announce his presence with a slamming door like Dinah, or by immediately shouting at Hal for not putting his boots away like Oliver; he just walks in, silently, no helmet or leather to hide the exhaustion in his body, and sits, gingerly, onto Hal’s space couch. 

Hal has no idea how he always manages to find him; he could be on the other side of the frickin Galaxy, light years upon light years away, and yet still Barry will find him. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think Barry had some kind of tracker placed on him - one that even his ring can’t find. (It drives Oliver slightly insane that he can’t physically track Hal when he’s on earth. Oliver is over-protective to the ninth degree and Hal has never appreciated being smothered. He’s a lot less polite about it with Bruce.)

He sits down beside him, gently knocking their shoulders together, and Barry’s smile is tiny but true. “Hey,” he says, “there a reason you look so tired, or is it just normal hero bullshit?”

Barry sighs, slumps against him. Hal accepts his weight with ease. “Hero bullshit,” Barry says quietly. “It’s always hero bullshit lately.”

Yeah. Isn’t it just. Hal knows he’s lucky, because he doesn’t have many obligations that keep him stuck in one place for long. There’s his piloting job, he supposes, but everyone there knows he’s a part-timer, and he mostly comes around to show-off anyways. Carol’s stopped chewing him out for showing up unannounced, just shoves him in the direction of the lockers and barks at him not to ruin the newer planes.

Barry though...well. It’s a miracle he hasn’t worked himself to death yet. Probably because everyone keeps bullying him into taking all those vacation days. Helps that he’s never been able to say ‘no’ when faced with Wally’s puppy-dog pouting. Iris is a pretty cruel mistress for teaching him how to do that. 

He puts an arm around Barry’s shoulders and slumps them both against the back of the couch, tucking Barry’s head into the crook of his neck. He feels the flutter of Barry’s eyelashes against his skin and simply waits him out. He’ll either fall asleep or talk, and Hal will stay with him either way. 

“I visited Danica the other day.”

Hal wracks his brain for a moment, trying to remember which one that is. Barry’s been to so many places it’s hard to keep track of them all. “The asthmatic girl?”

“That’s a terrible way to remember her, but yeah.” There’s no judgment in his tone, just an edge of amusement. Hal smiles into his hair. 

“How’s she doing?”

“She...seems okay.”

“...’seems’?”

Barry shrugs. “There’s something weighing on her but...I didn’t know how to get her to talk about it.”

Hal snorts. “Sorry man, but if you came here looking for advice on how to get someone to open up to you -”

“ - I would’ve gone to Clark or Lois for that, dumbass. That’s not why I’m here.”

“Good,” says Hal. “Because it would’ve been really awkward otherwise.”

Barry elbows his side, catching a bruise that hasn’t quite healed yet, the bastard, and Hal winces. He thinks his ring laughs at him, but he can’t be sure. It’s hard to tell with the way Barry’s playing with it. Stimming, almost. Gathering his thoughts, most definitely. “When I - travel. To all of those - universes, realities, dimensions, whatever you wanna call them, I’ve started noticing something.”

“Hm?”

There’s a sigh and then Barry lifts Hal’s hand to brush his lips across the knuckles. Hal’s breath stutters, his heart tap dancing in his chest. “Some things never change. No matter where I go, Diana is always a force of nature, Oliver never has to worry about money, Bruce adopts a thousand fucking kids, Shayera dates women. That kinda stuff.” 

He has a feeling he knows where this is going. He asks anyway, gentle as he can, “and you? Is there anything that never changes about you?”

“Yeah,” says Barry, voice thick. 

His first thought is Miss Nora. Her death, more specifically, and all the different Barry’s who’ve seen it. But no, he knows that’s not it. There’s a universe where she’s the Flash instead. Perhaps it’s selfish, but he doesn’t like thinking about that universe very much. He never thinks too hard about the ones where Barry died. 

Barry looks up at him, then, eyes lidded with - something soft. Something heavy. Something that chokes the breath from his lungs. “You,” he says finally. “In every universe, every reality, the one thing that never changes about me is - it’s you. You’re always there, connected to me in some way, and we - we’re never enemies, is the thing.” He smiles, the one that Hal secretly swoons over, the one that shows a little more teeth than strictly necessary. A real smile. “It’s as if Fate itself has decided that we can’t be separated or something.”

Hal laughs, breathless and giddy. “Always said we were a package deal.”

“Yeah,” Barry murmurs, closing the distance between them. Hal meets him halfway. Always, always meets him halfway. “Guess you win the lottery.”

He wants to say that he’s won a lot more than just the lottery - he’s won the stars themselves. The moon and the sun and all the late-night discussions about shitty sci-fi movies. But Barry’s got static on his tongue, and Hal’s a little too preoccupied to remember what he was going to say.

But that’s okay. He’s pretty sure Barry gets the gist anyway.

[imsofthelp]

Mistakes and consequences

Dabi x reader

Category: smut

Warnings: dub-con, mouth-fucking, throat-fucking, slight choking, cheating, Dabi being an asshole.

***

You woke up from a hard pounding in your head. It felt as if someone was hitting it with a hammer.

You slowly lifted your head up from a dirty pillow, shivering. A big t-shirt was the only thing covering your bare body.

Your throat was as dry as a desert. You needed to get some water. You wondered wherever Hawks was already at work or not.

That's when it hit you. It wasn't your or Hawks's aparment. It wasn't your bed either.

The hand that had snaked up its way around your waist, and the chest your back was pressed against wasn't Hawks's either.

Suddenly feeling light-headed, you almost jump from your position. But the hand kept you steady in your place.

You felt as if your heart was going to jump from your chest. Literally. A scream was stuck somewhere in your throat, so all you were able to do is let out a small whimper.

"Why so fast to leave, doll?" a low, painfully familiar voice broke the silence.

Your eyes quickly trailed up the hand still holding your waist. Metal staples holding the scarred skin and normal, slight tanned flesh together could only belong to one person.

Dabi.

You knew him as a friend of Hawks and of course, an infamous villain with a kill count probably higher than he count of people he had fucked. Maybe not.

Why were you in one bed with Dabi? Why were you with Dabi, in the first place?

Trying to remember what lead you to this stupid, rom-com situation you were in, you desperately tried to recall what happened last night.

Nothing.

It felt as if someone wiped your head sparkly clean, leaving not one memory from last night's events.

You needed answers, but first, you needed to get away from him. The way his hand was so posessively holding you made you shiver. It almost felt dirty.

"Let me go." you demanded, trying to hide the way your voice quivered.

He surprisingly complied and you finally turned to face him, receded to now sitting at the edge of the bed.

"Why am I here? Does Hawks have something to do with this? Did we-"

You looked him up and down. He was sitting up with his hands at the back of his head, enjoying himself.

Dabi's face lit up in amusement, the glint in his electric blue eyes letting you understand that he had all the answers. He looked like he was watching a lottery, while knowing all the lucky numbers.

"One question at a time, wouldn't want me to get too tired to answer them, right?"

You took a deep breath, trying to contain yourself from calling him an asshole.

"Why am I here?" you finally asked, tone calmer than last time.

Dabi's smirk got wider, almost making you afraid that his staples would pop off.

"You called me last night, crying." he answered, pausing as if he wanted to tease you.

"Why?" you asked, frowning.

"Apparently Hawks was busy with his hero shit on your anniversary and you felt lonely. "

Oh... Oh.

Focusing, you could remember calling him, but it felt like the memory was surrounded by mist. Damn, were you really so desperate that you called like, the least comforting person you knew?

"And then?"

Dabi was letting the story unfold slowly, not saying everything at once, finding some kind of fun in taunting you.

"You came to my place. Hugged me, got my jacket all wet with your tears, the usual."

He was hinting to the one time you got your leg hurt and he had to carry you home, while you tried to contain your tears from spilling. Obviously, you failed, but he never failed to remind you of that.

"Well, that doesn't explain why I'm in your bed with only a shirt on." you scoffed, looking at the shirt. It wasn't yours and was a tad too big, almost like a really short dress.

Dabi tilted his head, eyebrows raised.

"Isn't it obvious?

You had one guess, but oh god, were you praying to the skies above that it wasn't correct.

Not getting an answer from you he cleared his throat, cocky smirk still apparent, and then voiced your worst fear:

"You got drunk and we fucked."

You eyes were as wide as plates, hands trembling, trying to catch your breath.

No, no. This couldn't be true.

"Why," your voice trembled. "Why didn't you stop me, if I was drunk? You know that I'm with Hawks-"

Dabi sat up, eyeing you up and down. It made you want to puke. Cheating was the lowest low you could hit.

"Found ya entertaining, desperate to be fucked by someone better than your shitty hero."

The shirt, that was obviously his, now felt like it was burning your skin.

"I thought we were friends."

His eyes went wider as a husky laugh left his throat.

"Friends? Well, we're friends with benefits now, then."

Your head was heavy, heart thumping loudly. You were so disguisted with yourself. Hawks... How could you do something like this to him?

You needed to leave.

Quickly standing up from the bed, you found your panties beside it and quickly slid them on, thankful that his shirt covered your ass.

Dabi watched with curiousity as you collected your clothes, scattered all over the floor.

"Where’re you going?"

You lifted your head up to meet his mesmerizing blue gaze.

"Home. Where else?"

"You gonna tell Hawks that we fucked?"

Your cheeks turned red. He could've just not told you. You only remembered fragments of what has happened, anyways. In your mind, you could've fully believe that this was just another night with Hawks.

You debated wherever you should or shouldn't tell Hawks about it. One part of you wanted to tell him, because you didn't keep any secrets from each other. But your selfish part wanted to keep quiet, fearing that Hawks would leave you when you told him.

"No." you finally responded, after finding your phone. It had six missed calls and about 6 messages. You only read 'Text me back as soon as you see this' from Hawks, before turning it off.

"Then I'm gonna tell him." sighed Dabi, throwing a blanket off of himself and standing up. He was shirtless, only wearing gray sweatpants. You could clearly see an outline of his boner through them and you quickly turned away.

Where was he going with this? If someone told Hawks about this, that person would most definitely be you.

"He's not gonna believe you." you hissed, turning away to finally go, but Dabi caught your wrist with a smile.

"Dabi-"

Wordessly, he fished his phone out of the pocket and quickly unlocking it and played a video.

"What's-"

"Watch." Dabi demanded, pushing his phone into your hands.

You rolled your eyes and then finally saw what was going on.

No...

Right before your eyes was your own face, loud moans slipping away from your lips in a room filled with sound of skin slapping skin. Your naked chest covered in white substance, bounced with every thrust.

"Harder..."

Your own voice betrayed you and your hands started shaking.

"What's that, doll?" ringed Dabi's voice.

"Fuck me harder, Dabi!'" your lust filled moans loudly rang through your head.

You quickly paused the video, pressing delete, but before you could press 'ok', Dabi grabbed his phone out of your trembling hands.

You were so fucked.

"You want wing-hero to see this, dollface?" His words seemed far away. "You want him to hear you screaming?" Dabi was now leaning against you, his arms snaking up your waist and reaching your chest as lewd words came out as whispers, hot against your ear "You want him to know how good I fucked you?"

"No!" you snapped out of your trance to step away from him, resulting in a chuckle from black-haired man.

"Then you have to do me a favour, doll,"

You considered just... letting him send Hawks the video, but your selfish side won. You had no one else except Hawks. No one could ever love you like he did, and you really didn't want to lose it.

"What are you talking about?"

Dabi tapped one of his long fingers against his chin, as if he was thinking.

"A good blowjob and we're even."

You stepped back, eyes now wide.

"I'm not sucking your fucking cock!"

Dabi turned his phone to you. It was his chat with Hawks, the video about to be sent.

"Do you want me to send it?" he asked, voice growly.

"No..." you whispered.

"What's that?"

"No!"

Smile returned to his face. He knew you would agree.

If you thought what you did was low now, you now fell even lower.

"Get on your knees." he barked.

You complied by getting on your knees, trying to think about something else. The floor was hard and cold so you tried to draw your attention to that.

"Don't worry, babe, I'll be gentle." Dabi grinned and you tried not to puke.

Yes, he was attractive, hot even, but you were really just thinking of what kind of manipulative asshole he was and how you got yourself into this, willingly.

His pulled down his sweatpants, cock already hard. Your eyes widened. He was so much bigger than Hawks. You didn't know how he expected you to take him.

Dabi paused, his dick a few centimetres from your closed lips.

"Suck." growled Dabi.

You slowly opened your mouth, licking the pre-cum off of the tip of his dick. Starting to take him into your mouth slowly, as the small of your tongue was lapping down the underside of his cock.

Dabi hissed, tilting his head back. You felt dirty, just plain dirty.

You were bobbing your head slowly, trying to not take all of his dick in, just enough that it didn't hit the back of your throat. The last thing you wanted right now was gagging on Dabi's cock.

Dabi, on the other hand, had other thoughts. You panicked, as he slid his big hands into your hair, gripping handfuls.

You knew what would come next.

Dabi jerked your head forward, making you choke.

"That's right," he breathed out, You turned your eyes down, praying for all of this to be over soon.

Dabi started thrusting faster, going deeper with every desperate thrust, making you gag.

Maybe you were just stupid to think that Dabi would let you go at your own pace.

His pace was becoming too fast to keep up with. Your lungs were burning from the lack of air.

"Look into my eyes," he grunted, fucking your mouth harder. You didn't comply so one of his hands found it's way on your neck. Panicking, you raised your gaze to look to his smirking face.

His hand still gripped your neck harder, as if he didn't care about anything. Seeing the outline of his cock on your throat, he found it amusing choking you.

You felt lightheaded from the lack of air and Dabi's thrusts were becoming even more erratic.

He would finish soon.

As you already saw black dots at the corners of your eyes, Dabi tilted his head back, thrusting one more time and then spilling his cum into your mouth. White, silky strings coated the inside of your throat.

That fucking asshole, oh my god, you were going to kill him. WHO THE FUCK COMES INTO YOUR MOUTH WITHOUT CONSENT?

Dabi laughed, seeing the way your eyes just radiated anger.

The black-haired man pulled so you, breathing deeply and thankful to finally catch your breath, were ready to spit it out. Dabi quickly grabbed your jaw, shutting your mouth up.

"Swallow."

You shook your head, and he just tilted his head.

"We're doing this the hard way, huh?"

Two of his long fingers pinched your nose, cutting all the air supply you had. You tried to back away, but one of his hands was still gripping your hair.

You waited, till you couldn't take it anymore. Burying your pride, you unwillingly swallowed his load, feeling the disgusting taste.

"Good girl," he laughed and let go of your nose, letting you catch your breath once again, pulling his pants up.

"Can I go now?"

"Yeah. You could've gone home before that too. But thanks for staying." he laughed, winking.

You stood up and took all your stuff, not wanting to look him in the eyes.

"'Till next time. Call me when the hero treats you bad again."

You didn't bother answering him, just quickly getting out of his dirty apartment, loudly shutting the door.

Dabi laughed, falling back to his messy bed and then taking his phone to go back to the chat with Hawks and pressing 'send'.

Oh man, this was fun.

***

Huge thanks to @velvet-kissesss for proof-reading and correcting my mistakes! ❤️🥺

A.n

Ahh man this was fun to write and my first attempt to write nsfw, so don't judge me too hard 😂😂 I feel like I need like six showers to not feel dirty after writing this :D

If u have any requests/prompts send them to my ask box!! ❤️❤️

[eve-evil-lair]

Someone in the Garden - M Naga x F Human, NSFW, 2nd person perspective.

This was a request from my friend and my first go at original smut writing. It is also available on my ao3.

Inheriting a mansion in New Orleans was NOT what you expected to happen to you by the end of a very shitty year. Still, that happened. It was bizarre and you still expected it to be a scam. Either way, you had nothing to lose so there you were. The lawyer had opened the gate and after like two minutes drive you were in front of not exactly a mansion but a large house. It didn’t even look that old.

“The original mansion burned down about 10 years ago,” the lawyer explained. “The addition at that time was also an indoor, large swimming pool/lake.”

You nodded as you got out of the house. The land belonged to some of your distant family, so distant that you didn’t even know they existed until you got the letter. Clearly, No one else wanted it.

“The land has a natural spring that goes through the lake area to later join a river. You can get water that way. Generators provide electricity in case the lines get cut.” the lawyer kept talking as you walked inside the building and started to show you around the place. It didn’t look too bad. Dusty and might need airing and a fresh coat of paint here and there. Some of the previous potential owners left buckets of paint behind.

“So… why no one has claimed this place? Is it haunted?” You joked but secretly hoping it wasn’t.

“No one gave much of a reason aside from ‘changed mind’. Longest someone stayed here was a week,” the guy checked his papers. “I won’t lie, Miss, we have a bet going back at the firm on how long are you going to last here.”

“Oh, I hope you bet for me to stay here permanently, huh?” you grinned.

“I gave you two days,” he replied bluntly and your smile fell.

“Gee thanks.” you huffed. Now you were going to show this asshole that you can take care of yourself.

You toured the house and quite liked it. It was a two-story building with a kitchen, living room, two bathrooms and 3 bedrooms with built-in closets. Your only concern was - how were you going to earn money to keep all that. You could sell it, but not until you proved the stupid lawyer you could live there no problem.

“I will now show you the rest of the estate,” said the bastard lawyer and led you outside and right to the giant swimming pool/lake.

It was made of glass like a greenhouse. Inside were multiple tropical plants and it looked much better than the house. As if someone has been taking care of it. You asked about that.

“Well there is no one listed as a gardener,” the lawyer checked the papers again, “but the previous owner made a point of never getting rid of this building. It’s the only condition for you if you want to keep the estate.” he lifted an eyebrow at you.

“I’m not going to get rid of it but I am just wondering if someone is taking care of it.” You didn’t have any experience in gardening but if this place was empty for at least a year or so…, shouldn’t it be a bit overgrown?

“Hmmm, there were…” one more page flip and…., “ah yes, there is some sort of wild nature enthusiast who takes care of the greenhouse.” Success. “Unfortunately there’s no name.”

Well, that was a bummer. “Thanks, I’m sure I will run into this person once I settle in.”

With that, the tour continued. You got a good look at the premises and signed the papers that you were supposed to sign and got your bags into the house. The night you were going to spend in a sleeping bag until you’d air and wash all the sheets and refresh the mattresses. Hands full of work.

It’s been three days and one night of cleaning everything up until you saw the light in the greenhouse. And the shadow. It was one huge-ass shadow but then you thought it was just a trick of the light. It must have been that friendly, neighbourhood gardener. It was a strange hour to work - the clock showing close to midnight. You grabbed a flashlight and went to talk to the person. You planned to bake them a pie but you weren’t sure when they’d show up so you had that idea on stand by.

“Hello?” you walked into the greenhouse shining your path forward. It was still dim. You took another step forward and tripped. You yelped and fell on your shoulder and winced. Damn it, the flashlight rolled away and you had to find it before shining it at whatever you tripped over. A tree branch? No… It was huge. Thick. And definitely scaly. Like a snake. You recognized the markings. You always wanted a python and was interested in reptiles. This… this was an anaconda. A damn huge, horror movie sized anaconda. Getting to your knees you looked abruptly around for the head of the reptile. Why the fuck was there an anaconda in your greenhouse?! Why no one told you! Shit, shit, maybe the poor thing ran away from poachers or illegal breeder or fuck knows what circus. But it was way too large for you to deal with alone- oh fuck the tail moved. You decided to bolt. Ready to sprint to the door you swallowed hard and-

“Wait,” the voice stopped you. It was a very pleasant, deep, vibrant, male voice. The kind of ‘panty drop’ one on TV shows. Heck. You turned around and shone the light around. It finally landed on a stomach. A stomach that was way too high and was creamy yellow. Not a very human tone… The light travelled up to land on a board chest and then on a face that got quickly covered by a hand. “Please put that away.”

You clicked the flashlight off, mouth hanging agape, still in a big shock. “What the fuck,” you said softly. Then promptly fainted.

Waking up with a small headache you groaned holding your head. “Shit.” You groaned. Confused you looked around. It was still the greenhouse. What were you laying on? You looked down and swallowed. The massive coils of the anaconda. You looked up to see a concerned (or at least you hoped it was a concern) face of… snake dude. You knew there was a name for him but currently, you couldn’t care less for proper terms.

“Oh you’re awake!” he said relieved and grinned.

You felt cold sweat running down your back at the sight of his teeth.

“Yup,” you squeaked out. “I- Can I go down?”

He blinked. “Oh, of course, there ya go.” the coils unravelled under you creating a slide which got you to the floor. Immediately he headed to the huge lake in the middle. OK, so he was not going to eat you. That was nice. Suddenly you realised why no one lived in the house longer than a couple of days. He must have freaked everyone out.

“Um, ex-excuse me,” you called to him. “Who are you?”

“I’m Adam,” he said and sighed slipping into the water.

Adam. A humanoid mega python in your pool was named Adam. This day could not be even more bizarre than it already was. Okay. You licked your lips.

“Okay, Adam. Can you tell me what are you doing here?” you asked trying to sound polite.

“I live here,” he replied. You watched mesmerised as his tail swished over the water.

“Ye, I got that but… how did you come to live here?” you gestured to the greenhouse.

“Oh, that’s a funny story, really.” He brightened up seeing you were going to stay and listen to him. “I was much younger and you know… much smaller,” he looked over his body patting his soft belly a little. “I accidentally got stuck on a ship, it went up to the port, tried to escape from there, got caught in some nets and then Mr Brown found me.”

“Mr Brown. The previous owner?” you asked to clarify but who else could he mean.

“Yeah, his house burned down because of a storm. He was a really nice person, allowed me to stay, even tried to get me back home but…. I kind of like it here,” he smiled again, all sunshine and rainbows and you couldn’t help but to ‘aww’ a little. “I stayed and brought some good luck to him.”

“What?” you blinked a little.

“You don’t know? Naga are protectors of underground waters and possess great riches, I don’t have riches myself but I tend to bring a lot of luck to those I like,” he explained further. “You strike me as a nice person. What’s your name by the way?”

That moment you remembered you didn’t introduce yourself so you quickly fixed that. You stayed up with Adam the rest of the night, talking and answering some questions. You started to enjoy his company and noticed that he was very handsome once you look past the whole shock of having a possibly a 30 feet long anaconda dude in your greenhouse. Possibly even longer. You didn’t pay much attention. What you paid attention to were his deep voice and beautiful, warm, light brown eyes. Also muscular arms and torso. With a little bit of a belly. But you couldn’t stay with him forever and had to go back to the house and get some sleep. You bid your goodnights and went back inside.

The next day you worked a little on the house and in the evening went to meet with Adam. You two bonded a little over time, you caught him up with the times and he showed you how to take care of the plants inside the greenhouse. Like he said suddenly your luck started to improve. You got a really good job, following his advice you played a lottery and even won quite a bit. Enough to finish the work on the house. It was great.

There was one but. You realized somewhere along the way that you might be crushing on your Naga friend. Like really bad. Once or twice maybe even ended up having a (*coughamazingcough*), wet dreams. His hands were so huge on your shoulder and whenever it landed on your back you wished it was on your ass. You kind of also wondered if…. He resembled snakes in more ways than one. Though you hoped for no spikes. Or hooks. Anything that might be painful in the wrong way. That would be bad.

So, for now, you have been kind of keeping all of that to yourself. But damn was it becoming hard to keep your eyes, not on his waist level. In your defence, he had no clothes! And it was most of the time on your eye level! Where else were you supposed to look when horny!? His eyes?! …. Yeah possibly, yeah. Damn it.

“Are you okay?”

You almost jumped out of your skin when he got you out of your deep thoughts. You completely forgot where you were. Namely in the damn greenhouse. Oh, god. You couldn’t wait to just get out of there, drive to town and find a quick one nightstand. You were ready to go, having done all the prep for * all * possibilities. But nope, you got distracted by staring at your roommate’s? Housemates’s? Crotch. Nice.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a bit spaced out.” You tried to justify yourself.

“So… you’re horny, huh?”

Holy fucking hell, you must have blurted that out. Why cannot the ground swallow a chick whole just this once???

“Uuuuuuuh, hehehehe, sorry.” You licked your lips.

Suddenly Adam moved around you, circling you with the upper parts of his tail, or at least the part not in water.

“That’s fine by me,” his voice… oh, boy his voice. It was already rich molasses but now it was just unfair how hot it was. He touched you under the chin and smiled. You swallowed hard. “Do you wish for my help there?”

“Mmhm, yup, yes please,” you blurted out making him chuckle.

“Alright then. Off must go these clothes,” he said and before you could say anything riiiiiip went your shirt. Damn. He sure made his point. Quickly before he could destroy your good bra and skirt/panties you took them off. He watched you. His tongue darting forward, it was cute. You wondered what that tongue could do.

Whatever you have imagined got interrupted by a hungry, rough kiss and a hand between your legs. God, that felt good. You were already dripping of which he made a notice by lifting his fingers back up to his mouth and wrapping his long tongue around his digits and having a taste of you and looking too smug in your opinion. Your face was positively on fire but who would complain in this situation?

“Just hurry up,” you tried not to sound too whiny and he chuckled.

“Impatient, you are,” Adam hummed and wrapped his mouth around your nipple. His hand travelling back between your legs.

Your hands went to his head stroking him and grazing his skull with your fingers. He seemed to know more than less what he was doing over there. His lips were keeping a nice, a bit rough pressure, and his finger was stroking you so well~. If he just moved his calloused, thick forefinger just a bit to the- You jerked and bit your lower lip to stop a loud moan from pretty much erupting from your throat. Looking down you saw him with a grin and he did it again.

Your nails dug into the back of his skull as he stroked your clit in just the right spot.

“Fffffuck!” you whined and gripped your other hand on his coils looking for support. “Oh, fuck! F-faster! God!” you hissed and he gladly obliged.

The first orgasm crashed through you with a tsunami of relief from weeks of frustration. Turning into a noodle in his arms your you sighed and breathed heavily, trying to regain some sort of sense of composure. But God did it feel so good to just lay there for a moment.

“Where-, how-” you panted out, cracking your eyes open not even remembering when you have closed them.

“I read a lot, you have no idea what you humans throw out to the swamp,” he chuckled. “Was it… Good?” he asked just in case.

“It was fucking awesome.” you gave him a thumbs up calming your breathing down. “Got any more tricks you read about?” You licked your lips in anticipation.

“I do,” he picked you up and removed the top coil, allowing himself more manoeuvrability before setting you back down. “Keep your legs open,” he instructed before his head went between your knees and you had to stop yourself from crushing his head.

Wow, that tongue felt * amazing*. Adam swirled it in gently circles, that little fork at the end of it just rubbing your clit and when he slipped inside… Oh, wow . You gasped and reached behind your head to grab onto his tail. Pulling yourself up and arching back. But he didn’t let you get away oh no. He took his time, finding all the angles to make you moan and cry out. The thrusts going from soft to quick. One finger pressed to your clit to compensate for lack of nose as he pressed on. He reached to your breast with the other hand and stroked you. You whined and twisted your body. Good lord. You should have done this ages ago!

The pinch to your nipple and a hard suck on your clit had tipped you over, crying out in your release. When you stopped shaking he removed your legs from his head and licked your thighs. You whined and twitched.

“Noo,” you sighed over stimulated.

He then stroked your face leaning back and that was when you saw them. Two. Magnificent. Dicks. Long, thick, swaying with his movement. Each head looked almost like a flower with a collar of soft-looking nubs. Barbs? You were unsure about the terminology. Anyway, they glistened. Must have been covered in his own lubricant. They were dripping. Your mouth watered and eyes grew big. Oooooh~

Adam noticed your stare and coughed. “Well, um-” he sounded a bit sheepish.

“Can you use them both? At the same time?” You asked managing to sit up.

“Y-yes? Why?” he immediately helped you out, supporting you as you crawled and touched one of the cocks. He shivered a little as you ran a hand over them. Sticky, the liquid covered your fingers and started to dry, much like lube or your juice would. It didn’t smell half bad either. You licked it and heard him swallow loud.

It was your turn to grin like the cat who got the canary. Wobbly standing up, you pressed onto his chest.

“I want to try something,” you said. Something that you had only ever tried with toys. Once with one of your exes. You were quite sure you could take him. Blessed be your earlier precautions

“Okay,” Adam said slowly, watching you as you sank on the first dick. Inhaling loudly and sharply in you adjusted.

“Oh, yes,” you breathed out and reached back to the other dick. You rubbed your hand over the head, getting used to the barbs as you bounced in his lap. He shuddered and moaned stroking your back. You did not want to end this too fast for either of you so you slipped off of him. “Adam, would you mind to stretch me a bit, here?” you stretched your ass cheeks apart to better make your point. “I want both of them at the same time~,” you told him. “I also want you to use your tail on me, while you do that.”

“No problem,” he nodded looking quite excited at the idea.

Wetting his fingers first he slid first one finger over your ass cheeks and between them. Rubbing the circle of muscles he slipped inside. You moaned and breathed deeply, relaxing. His tail went up to your front, pushing inside you, impaling you repeatedly. Feeling your ass loosening up he added another finger and stretched your ass further and further until you both were sure you could take him in. His other hand gently fondled your chest and you reached down to toy with your clit. Soon, your third orgasm was coming in. You went rigid and spilt yourself, gasping for air once more.

“O-okay,” you said trying to steady yourself up. “Let’s… let’s try his thing.”

Now, here comes the moment of truth! His tail slipped out of you and got replaced with one of his dicks. You angled a little and Adam pushed the second cock into your spread out asshole. Your eyes watered a little. That was full! You gasped and gritted your teeth, the moan already escaping you. Throwing your head back you search for him.

Adam held you against his chest. “You okay?” It must have been a lot for him too. He was holding your legs wide open. It probably would never not be a turn on - the ease in which he could just keep you in his hands.  

“Never better, just getting used to you,” you reached up and patted his cheek. Your vision was in that kinda lusty state where it wasn’t exactly fuzzy but your eyes couldn’t focus on anything.

The barbs were pressing on inside you, the shape of his dicks was an unusual one but thickness and texture were making up for it so well~. You squeezed your walls around him and he hissed. His hips pushed forward and you groaned pleased. Yess, that was so good.

You pressed your back to his chest, one hand on your boob. “Fuck me,” you told him, voice hoarse.

His throat moved as he swallowed. He nodded and started to move you on him. Your body shivered, your mouth fell open. Those dicks barely fit whole inside you, your stomach having a small bulge every time he thrust inside. The barbs rubbed your insides, pressing onto that sweet spot. The added feeling and tightness from his other dick was making you dizzy. You panted and moaned, trying to move as much as you could. The feeling swelled and grew until you couldn’t hold back any longer, screaming out. Your hips jerked rather erratically and you dug your nails into his scales, finding gaps and holding tightly. His own body convulsed under you and he hissed your name, dicks spilling into you as you heaved against his chest. A final thrust which elicited a whimper of his name from you, and he was done, movements slowing as you both struggled to catch your breath.

After a moment he laid down on the ground, the two cocks slipping out of you and with it came the cum, slowly dripping down your leg. But who cared at that moment? You whimpered and nuzzled his chest.

“My legs feel funny,” you giggled stupidly and hummed pleased. He also made an amused noise and nuzzled your head.

You looked at him. He was getting ready to sleep now. Ah, some things never change among the species, huh? You stretched yourself and kissed him. That made him wake up a little and look at you softly. Pulling you up in his arms he kissed you again and coiled around you.

“Sleep?” he mumbled.

“I need to clean up,” you replied patting his face.

“But come back and sleep, yes?” That made you feel so warm and fuzzy. Maybe this was going to be a bit more than just a one-time thing?

“Sure,” you wiggled out of his arms and waddled to the lake, washing away the remains of your mixed fluids. Then as promised you came back. “Goodnight, Adam.” You said softly.

“G’d night.” he said and soon you both were fast asleep.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #442

“the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?”

Would you ever sell your soul? No. Do you believe that something is going to happen in 2012? Welp, clearly not. I never believed it. Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? No, but I'd love to! When was the last time you slept in someone else’s bed? Uhhh not since I visited Sara, I think. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud, for sure. Louder than I should listen to. Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? No. What’s the last song you heard? "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used. Has anyone told you they missed you lately? No. What are you most likely to do when you’re exhausted; take a nap, drink some coffee, or go for a run to get yourself pumped up again? Naps definitely win. What are you most likely to pick if you got to choose your topic on a research paper; drug abuse, mental illness, or the death penalty? Mental illness, for sure. What is your favorite month of the year and why? October, bc aesthetic. What’s your least favorite animal? Probably wasps. They're mean fuckers that kill bees. What was your class song when you graduated? Some super shitty country song. Have you ever had to spend the night outside (not camping)? No. What`s the scariest living animal that you`ve petted? A tarantula, I'd say. She was a sweet rose hair that I literally did pet, which you absolutely should not do to tarantulas, but I knew nothing about them at the time. The urticating hairs on their abdomens cause serious itching, and I tell ya, that sure happened. So did you play old school Nintendo or Atari or Sega? If so which one? We had an old Atari for a long time. When/where did you meet your first love? In the hallway, during my sophomore year of high school. Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? Hm, what qualifies as "regularly," really? I don't like my sister's husband, who I see semi-regularly, but I don't really talk to him. Does your family eat any unique foods for Thanksgiving that aren’t the norm? If so, what are they? Nah, not that I can think of. If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? What is your favorite flavor? Milk; I don't like it with water. I only eat the apples and cinnamon kind. Was the last video you watched on YouTube a music video? If not, what was it of? It's a let's play. Have you ever been brave enough to cut your hair in a very different way? If you have, did you regret your decision after? Yes, and I still love it. What was the last book you had to read for school? Did you enjoy it, or were you just trying to get through? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I loved it. Has anyone you know personally ever won the lottery? If so, how much did they win? Would/have you ever play(ed) the lottery? No to both questions. I have a very addictive personality, so I don't really mess with dangerous things that might tempt that behavior. What band/celebrity/etc. do you know the most information about? Who would you like to learn more about? Markiplier, ha ha. As for who I'd like to know more about... hm. Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Girt has. Who has made the biggest difference in your life? Jason. You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Also Jason. -_- What is the name on your birth certificate (feel free to withhold your last name for privacy reasons)? Brittany Marie is all you need to know. Even if shopping isn’t your favorite... every girl has a favorite store. What’s yours? My favorite physical store is Hot Topic, but my favorite store overall is Rebel's Market, which I'm pretty sure is just an online source. Which type of undies do you wear most: Thongs, bikini/briefs, bootyshorts, or granny panties? Don't you dare laugh, I prefer "granny panties" lmfao. They're what I'm comfortable in, okay. How many nail polishes do you have, if you were to take a guess? *I* have none. Idk about Mom, but I know not a lot. Are you on birth control? Do you use condoms? I use birth control to regulate my period and ease cramps. If I was sexually active though, both would be musts for me. When did you start your period? How did you react? Who did you tell first? When I got home from school sometime in middle school. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I was EXTREMELY upset. Like, I cried, because I didn't feel like a kid anymore. My mom was the first to know. Have you ever had sex while on your period? If so, would you ever do it again? NO NO NO NO THAT SOUNDS SO GROSS LKASDFJ;AJW;LKERJA;WEJLRKQWLKE;JR. Which way do you swing (boys, girls, or both)? I'm bi. Or pan. I really don't know. Tell me ALL about your longest/most serious relationship. Are you still in that relationship? How about I don't, because doing that I'm sure will send me in a PTSD spiral. No, we're no longer together. Who is your ALL TIME best friend (don’t count your boyfriend, either, silly!)? Sara. I don't think I've been as close with any other best friend. Which one of your friends has the best singing voice? SARAAAAAAAAAAA. What shade are you in foundation or concealer? I don't have a clue. I don't wear either. Have you ever showered with someone? Boy or girl? Were you completely naked? "Were you completely naked." No, I shower with underwear on. I've showered with my little sister as well as my best friend as a kid. I've never shared a shower as an adult and don't want to. Do you think you’re good enough for the person you like? No. Are you a cuddler or no? If I'm really into you, YUP. And if it's not hot. Wouldn’t it be kinda annoying to have to share a bed every night? No. I miss it sometimes. Have you ever walked on a beach at night? Yes. It's beautiful. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Pretty easily, yeah. Would you marry someone you didn’t love if you were paid 10 thousand dollars? No. I just wouldn't be able to stomach doing that. I'm solely marrying for love. Have you had sex today? I haven't in many years. Do you still care about your last ex? Very very much! Do you own more then one bathing suit? Nope. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? Yeah, but none I like. Who have you recently made up with after fighting? Nobody. Who do you WANT to make up with? Jason. Megan. Do you get scared easily? Hm. It really depends on the situation. Have you seen UP? Never the full movie, actually. I need to. How many coats of mascara do you use? I use it so rarely that I barely know. Two, maybe? What’s your favorite bracelet? The one Sara gave me. I used to always wear it, but it's worn down with time and is too loose for me now, so it's just with my jewelry. What color hair does your mom have? It's naturally gray now, but she dyes it black. Favorite song to listen to when you are mad? "Headache" by Motionless In White does it. What restaurant would you want to work at? NONE. I ain't working with hungry people. I don't want to work with people - period. When people ask “how are you?” do you say “good” even if you aren’t? Depends on who's asking. If it's a stranger or someone I barely know, odds are I'm just going to reply with "fine" or something like that. Were you honestly a good kid? Yes. Is anything wrong with your eyes? I have to wear glasses, so. Have you kissed or hugged anyone today? No. What is your mom’s and dad’s favorite TV show? I don't really know for either. Mom watches loads of shows, and I don't live with Dad, so. I know he really likes The Big Bang Theory, though, which Mom also loves. Have you ever suspected your mom or dad of having an affair? No, but ~supposedly~, Dad did with his now-wife. I don't know what the fuck is true between my parents, though. Do you think buying second hand clothes is gross? It depends on the type of clothing (ex., used underwear is a huge fucking no), as well as the state it's in. Does it gross you out when your parents kiss? They're divorced. That would be incredibly weird, uncomfortable, and impossible with how I know at least Mom feels towards Dad. Do you have a playlist made on YouTube? Yeah, multiple. Do you like dollar stores? I mean, sure? They have good deals occasionally and are a good option to stop for a quick snack or something. Mom doesn't actually *shop* in them, though. What’s the last thing you bought from one? I think a honeybun. Do you think it’s weird how babies are made? Well, yeah. Science can be crazy, though. Have you ever lost a friend over the opposite sex? No. Are you comfortable in a short skirt? I wouldn't be comfortable in ANY skirt. Do you and your family go on a vacation ever year? We essentially never do. Vacations cost money. We don't have money to spare. When you were going out with your last ex and you had the chance to date your celebrity crush, would you have left your bf/gf for them? No, because it's not like I know him personally, while I know her very deeply. Who was your most romantic moment with? Jason. Do you sweat easily? Like you wouldn't BELIEVE. A side effect of one (or even multiple) of my meds is hyperhidrosis, so I can sweat an ocean in two minutes, it seems. It's disgusting, and I am so self-conscious about it. What’s one memory you wish would just vanish? Just a specific moment with Jason that is particularly agonizing to recall. Are you in love with someone? No. Partying or watching a movie? Partying isn't my thing. I'd have more fun watching a movie with friends. What pisses you off the most? Child molesters/rapists, probably. Where do you want to be at a year from now? I just want a job by then, dude. I also hope I've lost a lot of weight. Do you like pickles? Only dill pickles. If you saw someone broken down on the side of the road, would you stop to help? Honestly, no. I don't trust people. What do you do with your plastic grocery bags after you unload your things? We put our plastic bags into one big bag for later use. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yes. How often do you use Flickr? I don't. I only ever check my friend's for meerkat photos, ha ha. Share three nice memories you have of the person you fell hardest for. No, unless you want me to cry. Have you ever made any of your friends cry? Not deliberately of course, but yes. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? God no, I look high. Out of all the guys you know, who would you trust to not cheat on you? Girt. I know he never would, especially because HE'S been cheated on. How do you plan on disciplining your children? NOT by physical means, I can tell you that much. If I actually had kids, I'd teach them through (hopefully) primarily deeply talking things out. If need be, there'd be time out, grounding, things like that. I do NOT support methods like spanking your kid, so that's a big no. If you could live in another country, would you? What country? Yes; Canada. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Quinn, probably. What’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have? It's a tie between depression and anxiety. What is your cure for hiccups? NOTHING works for me. It's the worst. Did you ever do anything in class that annoyed other students? I mean, I don't think so. Have you used a Ouija board and had a freaky experience with it? I've never messed with one, and I don't want to. I don't know if I believe in their supernatural abilities or not, but I ain't fuckin around and finding out. Do you stick with a political party, or vote for who you like best? I pick based on their policies and morals, not necessarily their party. Do you know anyone who is an albino? No. Word search or crossword puzzle? Word searches. When you watch a game show, do you like to see people win or lose? Aw, who wants to see them lose? It's great to see people win and be so excited. Do you have a pair of fake redneck, vampire, etc. teeth? No. What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Do you get really mad when you lose a game? Not at all. I'm not very competitive, and games are about having fun. When was the last time you used a pay phone? I actually don't think I ever have. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Jason. Do you go to church every Sunday? I never go to church as I'm not religious. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? Who the fuck cares. If they're comfortable and at least have a shirt on, let 'em. Most women have breasts, big whoop. Do you even like politics? God no. What’s it like at raves? Oh god, I'd never go. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? lol yes

[skinks]

HELLO. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPARE DILFWORTH/MAGGIE HEADCANONS 🥺 (love your writing more than life btw)

HELLO, thank you so much! Oh boy it’s difficult to come up with more stuff for characters you’re really only extrapolating a couple of pages about, but I like a challenge so here are some to build on the other big Maggie/Dilfworth post I made:

- so after the Airplane Incident they’re so engrossed in talking at the baggage claim about everything from music to shitty first jobs that Went misses his bag going around the carousel three times. In his defence Maggie’s laugh is a breathless, staccato sound like a xylophone of breezes and she runs one hand over the back of her head to grip the ends of her own dark hair every time she does, so who can blame him for trying to be his absolute funniest in between grinning like a man who’s won the lottery. Also in his defence, Maggie doesn’t leave after she’s collected hers (they both go to grab it from the carousel at the same time and kinda stare at each other, then at their touching hands. Went licks his lips a couple times and says “Sorry, don’t uh. Don’t misunderstand, I was only trying to steal it,” which makes her laugh again) and Maggie doesn’t leave because she’s busy hinting she’d like him to come visit her on campus some time, maybe next weekend? They exchange their landlines and she says “See you then, Doctor Dentist,” because there’s something about his nonthreatening calmness that makes her feel very bold in trying to ruffle it up.

- their first date is to the movies, because it’s 1971 and what else are you gonna do

- Went has the best poker face she’s ever seen, and she’d already been teasing him about being a dentist so when he asks her what snacks she’d like, she replies with a long list of the sugariest kinds they have. But he only whistles low and raises his eyebrows, sauntering off to the concession stand before she can reel him back. They eat all of it between them, and Went spends the whole movie muttering scathing put-downs about the poor choices the characters keep making and it’s the first time Maggie hasn’t ever cared about being shushed by the people in front of her

- also also also he picked her up in his car (and she’d also teased him about how she’s sure he could only drive a convertible bc he’s so tall and leggy that anything else would leave his knees up by his ears, but it’s not a convertible. It does have a sun-roof though, and after the movie they go driving, as Young People do in 1971 I guess and he’s like “Sorry the roof doesn’t fold down, I know you’d look great doing the whole Audrey Hepburn thing,” and Maggie just eyeballs him as she slides the sun-roof back. Then she’s standing on the bench seat and whooping, sticking her torso out of the roof like it’s a carnival ride and Went’s like 💕😬💕 as he holds her steady with one arm (over her dress, it’s the first date) for her dear, dear life

- I love the idea that Maggie likes sci-fi, for some reason. She loves Star Trek TOS, loves the music, wants to try and obtain a theremin for her thesis project. The first gift Went ever gives her is a signed copy of The Left Hand of Darkness when she takes him to an Ursula LeGuin talk at her college, and Maggie kisses the daylights out of him against a tree right there in the quad

- Went likes fishing and baseball and photography and fuckin... comedy records and he definitely got bullied at school for being a skinny nerd. Doesn’t have too many friends given that he’s moved cities and is generally kinda quiet, but Maggie’s friends like him. More importantly, Maggie likes him a lot, likes the endless antelope stretch of his legs when he props them up on any surface available, the lean lines around his mouth, likes how the veins on the backs of his hands form warm diamonds around the indents of his knuckles, likes that when she says “oh damn, is it raining?” rhetorically in the car at the first few drops, he rolls his window down and sticks his hand out into the wet and says “yes, Maggie, it’s raining. Wipers or no wipers, what’ll it be?” She likes to be the person he trusts enough to be silly and wry and sincere with. She likes to buy him records based purely on the cover art alone, she likes introducing him to classical music and she likes to drive his car so he can look at the maps and stick his head out the roof, and she likes that the wind makes him look like a cartoon blown up with dynamite, because he’s somehow always just in need of a haircut, and she is so, so scared he will be ensnared by the draft now that he’s left academia, as it has ensnared so many of her other friends.

- She makes fun of it, but she likes his name, “I like that Tozier has a z in it, of all things,” she says once. “I don’t know, it’s unusual. I never heard of a Tozier before.” And Went says, “Last of my kind. Like Tigger, in fact. You’re lucky you ever caught me in the wild,” as he very studiously and ineptly investigates her electric keyboard. She calls him Went most of the time, Legs when she’s particularly hot for him, but they do also have a lot of Wentworthy/Unwentworthy jokes.

- the first time they have sex is because they’re six dates deep and Went has yet to hear her sing.

- they’re lying top to toe in Went’s bed while they’re both studying (Went might be practicing dentistry now but he still has paperwork and journals to read) and he’s tapping her crossed ankle along to something she’s humming. “What’s that song? Maggie?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you sing it for me?”

“Oh, no,” she says, covering her face with her book. “No, it’s just some rock song, ignore me. I’m being disruptive to the study environment.”

Went waggles his eyebrows, examining the whole bare sweep of her legs. “That’s for sure. C’mon, you’re minoring in vocal studies, aren’t I going to hear you eventually?”

“Nope,” Maggie grins, and enjoys how warm his hand feels cupping the sleek of her calf muscle. “I’m shy.”

“The Maggie Avery I know isn’t shy, unless I’ve been wooing an impostor for the last nine weeks.”

She laughs and flutters inside, like her whole body is filled with whirling pillowfight feathers at the thought of being wooed, being courted, being allowed to exist as an interesting person and not just a skirt to be chased. At the fact that he knows how long it’s been and that he counts it in weeks, because even though they telephone a bunch, they can still only see each other at the weekends. Yeah, Carole King said it best. He makes her feel like a natural woman, alright.

“Wooing me.” She sets her book aside. “That’s what you’ve been up to?”

“Yes,” he nods, sitting up to mirror her, cross-legged. “Wooing.”

“Wentwooing,” she says, biting her lip. These games always prick up the hairs on the back of her neck.

“Damn straight,” he says, and oh, those dishy lines are breaking in lean waves around his smiling mouth. She’s a total lost cause for them. “Wooing was one of my very first Scout badges, actually.”

“Oh, so you’ve had practice?” She leans away in faux-disinterest, and her breathing picks up from somewhere deep in her body as he sways forward into the gap, like he’s charmed. She’s very aware of her heartbeat in odd places, pinking her bare heels pressed to the sheets under her knees, loud in the scoop of her clavicle. “I’m not the first to be subjected to a little Wentwooing, then, huh.”

“Not the first, no,” he allows, mild and reasonable as ever. No wonder he did well in medical school. She knows she’s not the first girlfriend, of course, just as he knows about her last ex and the others, and that’s the wonderful thing about him. He doesn’t act like other twenty-two year old boys she knows, he’s a grownup about it all. “But... I’d really dig it if you were the last. Maggie.”

She can’t stop smiling at the way he says it. Casual, contemplative, the look of a man who has cast his line and is happy to wait. It’s belied by the sound of him compulsively cracking his knuckles and the bones in his long bare feet. They’d both thrown on comfortable clothes after coming in from the rainstorm, and Maggie never knew it was possible to feel so at ease alone in a man’s room, a man’s apartment, a man’s spare boxers and faded varsity rowing tee the only things between that same man and her pretty underwear.

“I’d dig that too, Legs,” she says, and tucks her hair behind her ear to kiss him. He untucks it again and kisses her back with a heated mmph, touching her hip and her hair at once. Very light touches, but there’s something about them that makes her feel like he’s got her wrapped up completely. She swirls her arms around the back of his neck and deepens the kiss, as deep as she can manage with the way their knees are obstructive, and at the dragging quiet click of spit, Maggie finds she wouldn’t mind if he touched her firm and wanting all over, sometime soon.

She pulls back to see him flushed, his glasses kinda screwy. He makes a low sound, a sort of cross between a sigh of satisfaction and a groan of regret that their mouths aren’t still moving together. Both of his hands fall to her crossed legs, and he patters fingertips to her skin.

“I got that badge in Boy Scouts too,” he says breathlessly, after a second or five.

“No wonder you’re so good at it,” Maggie says, and raises three fingers in a salute. “Lots of practice around the campfire, hm?”

“Oh, like you wouldn’t believe,” he chortles, saluting her back. “It’s a testament to your feminine wiles I’m even interested, what with my restricted training.” He gestures at her breasts. “We never covered those.”

“Liar, you had them pretty well covered last week,” Maggie teases, her inner thighs burning as she shifts at the memory, the back row of the Aladdin Theater, her tongue in his mouth and his big, gentle hands up her shirt.

“Earned my badge.”

“Well and truly.”

“We should get to work on uncovering them, then,” Went replies, tugging softly at the hem of his shirt she’s wearing, but his eyes don’t stray from her face.

“Wentworth!” She shoves at his hand, laughing again. She has a paper on syncopation due on Friday and a performance to prep for the end-of-semester recital, but she couldn’t care less right now. Lord, she’s so happy. What if it’s love, she thinks giddily, what if I love him, and he loves me. What then?

He dodges her play-slaps to take off his glasses because he only needs them for reading, and it’s just another layer falling away from between them. He’s not Doctor Tozier, he’s not that fucking geek, in the sullen-drunk words of her project partner Jack at a party last month, he’s just... Went. Just a man, as she is a woman. He’s cute and he’s acerbically funny and he makes her feel like they’re partners in some kind of crime, even though neither of them have so much as a speeding ticket. Maggie comes to a decision.

“Alright. I’ll sing the song for you,” she says, climbing off the bed.

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, I actually—oh, here it is.” She rummages in her bookbag and produces the 7” single from its cardboard sleeve. “I bought it on Tuesday and forgot all about it, I was going to show you earlier. Such a dunce.”

“Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that,” Went says, shuffling back on his crossed legs to sit against the headboard. He looks genuinely eager. “She’s finally singing for me, don’t knock her confidence. Though, I guess we’re not getting any more studying done. Duncehood looms for the both of us.”

Maggie straightens up from the record player and unclips her hair until it falls in a dark torrent around her face. She shakes it out, feeling the strength of her voice build in her chest, feeling like she’s on fire from the glare of a stage spotlight. Getting into the mindset of a song is an important part of performance. “Would you rather study? We can study if you like.”

“No, no,” Went says evenly. His face is pink again and his eyes are very dark, watching her. “I think I’d much rather do this.”

So Maggie sings. The record cranks to a crescendo on the choruses like a runaway train and Maggie loses herself in it, closing her eyes and dancing. She’s an elegant dancer to classical music and an awkward one to rock and roll. Went is even worse, the pair of them clunking their bodies together at parties like a game of marbles because it’s funny that way, it’s funnier with two. But she tries not to feel silly, because she knows her voice is good. People tell her so. She knows it’s so, and she’s proud of her very own instrument nestled in the nave of her throat, and she wonders why it had been such a nerve-wracking prospect to let Went hear her sing. Perhaps it’s because she holds it so dear. She doesn’t know when his opinion became so important to her, but it is. The sound thunders up easily from her chest, controlled and so fluid she can almost visualize it leaving her lips like a stream, so controlled she can let the control a little loose whenever she wants to wail along with Marc Bolan, like the only rockstar in an oversized preppy shirt, get it on, bang a gong, get it on.

The record scratches to a close but she doesn’t feel finished, there’s still breath left in her yet. She segues easily into one of Went’s horribly cutting and clever comedy records, so she has an excuse for her face burning. It’s not because she can’t open her eyes and see his reaction, it’s because she’s singing about smut, of course. Every brush of the hems of his borrowed shorts against the ticklish backs of her legs, is felt. Her hair is thick and warm and her scalp is starting to sweat with all her uninhibited bouncing. Eventually she gives up and collapses to the bed, giggling and breathless. She buries her face into the covers feeling more ridiculous than she normally does in the vicinity of his generally impassive nature. He’s stable, somehow without being boring. It keeps her on her toes at least, that damnable poker face; she actually takes great delight in the way she finds herself coming further and further out of her shell, just to try and call his bluff.

“Gosh, I hope your neighbors like T-Rex,” she mumbles. She’s crouched with her knees and hands huddled under her, waiting for her fearsome blush to subside. Waiting for him to say something. She’s aware of his quiet presence at the headboard, just as she is so suddenly aware of the way his soft tee is riding up her hunched form, exposing her lower back to the fresh night air. “I’m—I should send them all an apology note for disturbing their Saturday evenings.”

“You should be charging them for the privilege,” Went croaks.

Maggie looks up at him, sharply. He stares back, still cross-legged with his hands stuffed down into his lap and a dazed expression on his face. She kneels towards him, feeling the residual magic of the music spark powerful deep through her body, between her legs. “You think I’ll pass vocal performance?”

“Jesus Christ, Maggie,” he says, unfolding his endless legs so she can straddle them. His hands are restless against her hips, moved from where they’d been hiding the thick line in his shorts. “And all this time I thought you’d been hiding the terrible secret that you’re actually a bad singer.”

She laughs against his neck. “Oh really?”

“Yeah, just awful. I figured you must be a banshee or something.”

“You did not, don’t joke!”

“I never joke,” he grins. He kisses her harder than before, restless hands squeezing at her ribcage, her thighs, just below the hemlines. Maggie presses her hips forward and grips fiercely at his ropy upper arms, gasping. “I’m deadly serious, that was—you’re a knockout at everything, it’s hardly fair.”

“Went.”

“Mags, I’m obliged to tell you I have one hell of a crush on you.”

“Went.”

“I can’t believe you’re my girlfriend,” he says, and Maggie’s stomach flips at the rare note of bemused, painful sincerity in his voice.

“Went, you can uncover them now,” she says, and shimmery heat floods between her thighs as he ruts upwards, abruptly.

“Sorry,” he pants, “what?”

“Take my shirt off, please. And I have a crush on you too, you dunce.”

He does as she asks of him and says, “Jesus Christ,” again, and a whole lot of other curse words and sweet things and silly nonsense that makes her laugh more than she’s ever laughed doing this with someone, and afterwards his hair looks the way it does when it’s his turn to stick his head out of the sun-roof.

He rolls off to collapse beside her. As soon as they catch their breath he says, “I’m gonna bring you breakfast in bed. Right now.”

“It’s 11pm!” Maggie wheezes, watching him stagger naked from the bedroom. The sight of his narrow waist flaring up into broad, bony shoulders is unbearable, now that she knows how it all feels between her legs and rippling under her hands. It makes her voracious for more. She aches wonderfully in all the right places, just like a good callisthenic stretch should.

It was quite a stretch, she thinks, and shivers, turning her head to breathe into the sweaty tangle of her own loose hair spilled across the pillow.

“Eleven is technically almost morning, isn’t it,” he calls back, clattering in the kitchen. “Plus you’ll need the energy, because we’re doing that again immediately. If you want to, of course,” he adds hastily.

“Of course,” Maggie snorts. Her cheeks ache too, from happiness. “We’ve got badges to earn.”

- anyway

- Her mom likes him too because he’s a dentist, Margaret, but her dad thinks he’s a hippie with a fake diploma because he still has sideburns lmfao. Went’s parents like Maggie, but it’s a lot to do with how she tries so hard to make them like her. She’s like, shaking by the end of day 1 of her first meeting with them like “I just don’t ever want you to have to choose,” and Went (absentmindedly fiddling with an old toy robot, they’re staying in his childhood bedroom) is like “Don’t worry, I’d choose you any time. I mean, I’d have to kill them but I’m sure they’d understand,” and Maggie’s like “I’m serious!” and Went turns to her and says, “So am I, Mags,” and then wraps all his long stick insect limbs around her refusing to let go until she’s laughing again

- He’s also very neat, he does all his own ironing so his work tunics are just right. More than once Maggie and her two roommates come back to the apartment during weekends to find him standing in socks and boxers and ironing piles and piles of everyone’s laundry, and he refuses to believe Maggie that this is weird. She thinks back to her old boyfriends who could barely flush a toilet and thinks hm, maybe it’s not so weird

- for the first few years of living together after they get married they can’t choose sides of the bed. Like, it changes all the time. “This is intimate anarchy,” Maggie says, after their tenth night in a row of switching. “I’m sure this is what the Summer of Love was all about.”

“Oh, I thought it was about cunnilingus,” Went says brightly, slotting a bookmark into his copy of Jaws and turning off the side lamp. “My mistake. Goodnight, love.”

“Wait!”

- Went comes into the delivery room after Richie’s born, looking more shaken than Maggie herself, ashen and stressed. “I could hear you screaming from out there,” he whispers, kissing her forehead and jerking his thumb back over his shoulder, bloodshot eyes locked on the swaddled bundle on her chest. “Darling. Oh, Maggie.”

“We’re alright now,” she says, hoarse. “I was just letting him know however loud he is, he gets it from his mother.”

“Him?” Went bleats, his eyes so wide. He still only needs his glasses for reading. “He? It’s a boy—we have a—”

“A son, yes,” Maggie says, and wipes at her cheeks. She’s had quite enough fluids on her face for one night, thank you. “Here, take him away from me before I lose my temper with him again.”

She nearly starts crying again when she sees how tiny the baby—Richard, that’s right, they’d decided on Richard for a boy—how tiny he looks in Went’s big, capable hands. They manage not to wake him in the transfer and Wentworth cradles him against his collar for a moment, looking lost. Then he seems to come back to himself, shooting Maggie one of his big, crinkly grins (and God, she’s still a lost cause) as he addresses the consequence of their actions.

“Did you do this?” Went whispers into the blue folds of blanket, pointing one free finger at Maggie. “Look what you’ve done to my wife. How dare you. She looks terrible.”

“Shut up,” Maggie laughs, as quietly as she can.

“She looks terrible and more wonderful than ever,” Went continues in the baby’s ear. “Is this your doing? We’ll make a good team, I think. Between the two of us she doesn’t stand a chance, by thirty-five she’ll be too beautiful to look at and then she might get some peace and quiet.”

“You’re delirious from the thin atmosphere, Legs,” she says. “Give him back, if you drop him from up there he’s done for.”

“I won’t drop him,” Went insists, “you had him for nine months, let me have a turn.” He holds onto Richard while she sleeps, but not before she grabs at his arm and sobs thank you for him, Went, thank you, and Went cries a little too and says what are you thanking me for, I’d get a participation trophy at most, which makes her laugh and say, if anyone deserves a trophy for their participation technique it’s you, and then she falls asleep before she hears his reply.

- they play so much rock and roll for Richie, Maggie makes up her own songs for him and sings to him all the time. Maggie only had older sisters, and Went was an only child so neither of them have very much experience with babies, but Maggie’s friendships with Andrea Uris and Sharon Denbrough from the neighborhood and from book club help a lot, they all seem to have wound up having their firsts in the space of a few months. She values language too much to baby talk Richie, and Went would be clueless as to how to begin, so pretty often she finds him deep in conversation about politics or baseball with Richie babbling in his high chair.

- as I said before, I hc that Maggie speaks maybe French and Italian, and Went finds it incredibly sexy. He can’t reply, of course, he just babbles along in Richie’s ridiculous Voices, it’s basically the Swedish Chef but French or Italian. He calls her Marguerite if it’s French, and Margarita in Italian (“That’s Spanish!” Maggie hoots, stroking his hair back at both temples where it’s frosting to silver already, and clasping her hands around the back of his head. “What do margaritas have to do with Italy?”

“Not Margarita,” Went says. He traces a line between all the pretty moles on her chest, sweeping down between her breasts to the one just beside her navel, the soft little rise of belly that sits in the cup of her iliac crest. That spot always flicks her hips forward with ticklish heat, and if they’re not careful then Richie might end up with a baby sibling Maggie’s not quite ready for yet. “Margherita, like the pizza. You’re cheesy, sweetheart.”)

- both of them smoked but Maggie gave it up when she got pregnant, and now Went doesn’t smoke inside the house. He of course gives it up for good after he gets cancer of the larynx in his late 50s when Richie is 30, which makes Richie quit too

- they love their son and just want him to be HAPPY even if they’re sometimes misguided about what would make him happy, but hey, so is Richie

[cilliankelly]

text 📱 cillian & ellie.

Discord text thread featuring: cillian & @robinscnfm

When: december 25th

Mentions: @judetaylorhq @loganstjames @iitsace 

Description: ellie texts cillian to wish him merry xmas. they discuss their relationships and ellie encourages cillian to try and be better, but for himself, not for anyone else.

Trigger Warnings: insecurities galoooore but i think that’s it. 

ellie.

merry christmas dumbass 🤩 hope u had a good time and that your leg is better ❤️ you’re awesome buddy

Cillian

thanks els bells

i know i don’t always act like i do, but i really do appreciate you and shit. thanks for everything and merry christmas

also i’m sorry about your couch

ellie.

i know you do ❤️ no problem. I really did take you in just to do you a solid, buddy

no problem 😂

i might not even need to get one. Yknow, logan asked me to move in and if i do, probably the less furniture the better. U know i have enough shit as it is lmao

Cillian

👀

does this mean you’re seriously considering it?

moving in with the boyfriend?

ellie.

honestly? I kind of am

i have until mid january to think about it

and i like his apartment, plus our schedules don’t always line up because he has a day job and i have a morning job and a night job, which makes hanging out impossible sometimes

Cillian

these all seem like very sensible conclusions

ellie.

They are. I mean. Its kind of scary im ngl

Cillian

definitely scary. but good i think.

ellie.

im not used to living with anyone which definitely freaks me out

and u know i love my crappy ass apartment

but.... its also exciting idk

Cillian

no i totally get it.

i mean it’s a little different for me bc until recently i didn’t really feel like i ever had a home

but it’s nice. it’s big and it’s kind of scary but it’s also really great.

ellie.

ohhhh wait wait 👀

are u moving in w .. someone?

its such a nice apartment too im ngl

and he doesnt let me pay for anything which wasnt an issue when we were 18 but now it makes me feel ✨very guilty✨

Cillian

fuck tell me about it

and i mean... yeah. he gave me a key for christmas

ellie

omg im so happy for you!!!!

thats so so awesome

fuckin scary too but im excited for u

Cillian

thanks. i desperately trying to not fuck it up anymore than i already have. but i feel good about it.

ellie.

he wants to marry me

Cillian

holy shit

i know you guys dated in high school but you’ve been together how long?

ellie.

a fuckin MOOD but hes lucky to have u. Yall are a good match

Cillian

wow thanks. that’s actually like, good to hear.

i kind of feel like i magically won the best friend/boyfriend lottery or something

ellie.

this time around? About a month. Overall? Like almost three years

but no. What he said was that he still had the ring he’d bought back then

and that he wanted to give it to me whenever i was ready to be asked

it fuckin scares me how much he loves me idk what i did to deserve it

U SAID BOYFRIEND

Cillian

sounds like we really are in the same boat

wait what

ellie.

im so happy

yeah we are. Idk ive never been with anyone who loved me so... up front and decisively

Cillian

it’s fucking terrifying

ellie.

it is

Cillian

like i’m really happy???? but i look at him and my chest gets all tight and all i can think about is how much it’s gonna suck to lose him.

also i’m a bit buzzed on wine right now and this conversation is staying RIGHT HERE eleanor.

i have a rep to maintain

ellie.

THATS LOVEEEEE CILLIANNN

and idk im conflicted. He told me he wanted to pick it up where we left off and i told him i wanted to take it slow, and he agreed

and i do want to take it slow....... but oof falling back to the place where we used to be before It happened has been so easy its fuckin scary

Cillian

and oh my god shut uuuuuuuuuuup

i can’t even imagine.

ace is back in town and that’s been... weird

ellie.

IM NOT GONNAAAA U LOOOVE UR BF

my resolve to go slow with him is getting weaker and weaker i am such a mess

i know. I think i saw her the other day. Hows everything on that front?

Cillian

i don’t know. fine? a little awkward. i don’t have feelings for her still but like. i see her and it reminds me how shitty i was. and still am.

ellie.

and dont worry. Yes people leave but not the ones that really love you.... and i have a feeling u found it

Cillian

i think it’s really bumming him out that like... nobody knows we’re... together.

ellie.

yeah why is that?

Cillian

i don’t know...

telling people makes it like... real.

and jude thinks that by not telling people it makes it easier for me to take it all back and regress or whatever

but i just... ellie i’m like positive that i’m gonna fuck this up. and i don’t know if i want to share it. with anyone really.  not when it’s this good.

i don’t know if that makes any sense

ellie.

but its important to him

Cillian

he says it’s fine but i know it’s not.

ellie.

and listen

theres a strong possibility you WILL fuck it up and theres also a strong possibility that you will NOT fuck it up. No one knows.

and theres a possibility that he’ll fuck it up

or maybe something else will come in between you two and pull you apart

no one fucking knows ok dude

Cillian

jesus ellie, not making this any easier over here

ellie.

and you’re wasting the sweetest part of a relationship by thinking about the end

so like. The most u can do is stop thinking so far ahead, stop getting in your own way, and every day make the conscious decision to show him you love him and to not to fuck it up. Thats all any of us can do

Cillian

i don’t deserve him, i really don’t.

i’ve never felt so useless in my entire life.

ellie.

youre not useless

but i get you, i really do

Cillian

i can’t even fucking walk correctly. i can’t work. i can’t do anything

and i don’t know that i’ve ever like, really wanted to be better. but fuck. he deserves more than this.

ellie.

no no dont think like that

if you want to do anything about becoming more educated or some shit like that you have to do it for YOU because YOU deserve better

Cillian

it was hard enough the first time around. i’m just not cut out for it.

ellie.

i just think you havent found the right motivation

Cillian

and what’s that? the right motivation?

ellie.

idk how to describe it

like when i was in college i would think about graduating and being independent and it got me through boring classes and shit like that

so yeah. maybe what you need is motivation

Cillian

i know this is dumb. and it’s gonna get me an eye roll or something. but it’s just so much easier... to not.

ellie.

no its not dumb

but like. sometimes the things that are worth it arent the easy ones

Cillian

i just don’t want to fail again.

ellie.

bad news, youre gonna

Cillian

you’re all sunshine and rainbows this evening

ellie.

im tipsyyy

and also giving it to u straight

ur gonna fail bc failing is just. part of the human experience

but !! ur also gonna succeed my dude

Cillian

i guess you don’t know if you don’t try.

ellie.

also idk i think ur fear is valid and it happens to me too

so i just think itd be bullshit to tell u like <3 ur not gonna fail <3 everything will work out <3

Cillian

yeah. i wouldn’t believe you if you said that anyways.

ellie.

yeah exactly so like

the best thing i can say is that when you think that youre gonna fail just. try to think the opposite

Cillian

easier said than done

but i appreciate the advice

ellie.

yeah i know it is

no problem buddy <3 anytime

[mustafaalifics]

The Lottery

Title: The Lottery

Summary: Mustafa Ali runs into an old friend after a Smackdown Live show

Archive Warnings: None

 Smackdown Live was in Cleveland and we had seats right by the entrance ramp. It was the end of June and it was hot as hell, and I didn’t particularly care to be trapped in a crowd of screaming sweaty people. That, and watching a live wrestling show made me uncomfortable—angry, was more like it. It was a painful reminder of what my life could’ve been, my hopes and dreams that had been crushed by the weight of reality.

It was my daughter’s tenth birthday and she was a huge Charlotte Flair fan, so I could suck it up for one night to make my daughter happy. Besides, my mother paid a lot of money for these tickets so I figured I should stop pouting and just enjoy myself. As I was starting to get into the show, Mustafa Ali’s theme music hit. My insides tightened and twisted. I briefly forgot that he was on the Smackdown Live roster, which was I don’t know how I forgot. I could never forget him. I had never forgotten Adeel Alam.

I was originally from Chicago, and I grew up a huge wrestling fan. I trained and worked hard, and eventually got into the indie circuit. That’s where I met Adeel. His ring work was impressive, even back then. I loved watching him work, and one day he noticed me watching and started a conversation. That conversation lead to several more, and before we knew it we were the best of friends. We would perform then go pig out on burgers and greasy fries, or go back to my tiny apartment to watch DVD copies of Wrestlemania. Of course this was all in between work shitty jobs and taking college courses, just in case this wrestling thing didn’t work out.

“You know, we have a better chance of winning the state lottery than we do making it to WWE.” I said to him one day after a show.

Adeel just smiled at me. It was that bright, optimistic smile that was just contagious. “We’ll make eventually. We just have to keep trying.”

That was 11 years ago. Adeel had made it, he was living his best life—dream job, loving wife, beautiful children, fans that admired and adored him. I was happy for him, truly—he was a great guy who deserved every moment of this. I just couldn’t help but feel the tiniest sting of envy. I was a single parent working a desk job, making a decent wage but most of the time I was at my wit’s end. Bouts of depression and crippling anxiety left me wrecked, both mentally and physically. I worked out when I could. I wasn’t overweight but I definitely gained some weight since the last time he saw me.

I hadn’t seen him in 11 years, and the last time we saw each other was very awkward to say the least. I had made the decision to move to Cleveland with my mom to help take care of my sick grandparents. I tried working the indie circuit there but bookings were few and far between. I got pregnant by a guy a few months after moving to Cleveland and ended up dropping wrestling altogether. It sucked but hey, that’s life I guess. The night before I left Adeel and I went for one last pig out session and a movie. I always thought there was a little something between us, but neither of us acted on it. Whether it was out of fear of ruining our friendship or just plain being busy, nothing ever happened. So I was taken by surprised we ended up hooking up that night. The intimacy was amazing and the sex was great, but when morning came we both had no idea what to do or say, so I just said goodbye with a quick hug and kiss on his cheek. I never saw him again until that moment.

As he made his way to the ring I suddenly felt very self-conscious about my outfit and mentally scolded myself for wearing a tank top and yoga pants. I actually put on a tank top and fucking yoga pants as if I was lounging around my house. I immediately crossed my arms over my stomach and put my head down in attempt to not be noticed by him. It was too late, though. I heard people around me screaming and looked up to see Adeel directly in front of me. He had his light up mask on but I knew he was smiling. That man could smile with his eyes.

Neither of us said anything. He just waved at me then ran into the ring. He was even better in the ring that I remembered. He was amazing to watch, and I was flooded with so many fond memories.  When it was all over and he won his match, he came back over. My heart beat wildly in my chest as he high fived my daughter then turned his attention to me. He leaned over the barrier and hugged me. I felt tingles roll up my spine as I hugged him back. The fans around me were screaming at the top of their lungs so he had to press his lips to me ear and whisper, “Meet me at the steakhouse down the street in two hours?” I nodded and he took off for the locker room.

I dropped off my daughter with my mom and met Adeel at the steakhouse. I made sure I changed my outfit and did something decent with my hair before I got there. I even threw on a little bit of makeup so I wouldn’t look a mom zombie—a mombie. I arrived a whole half an hour early, because my anxiety wouldn’t let me be normal. He arrived right on time, freshly showered and looking amazing. His hair was still wet and thrown into a bun at the top of his head, making me roll my eyes.

“You and your perfect hair.” I said with a scowl.

He grinned and ran a hand over his hair. “You’ve always been a hater.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Maybe just a little.”

Adeel laughed and pulled me into a hug. He felt warm and smelled so good. “You look great, Syd.”

“I don’t, but thanks.” I replied.

He pulled back and looked at me sternly. “You do. Now come on and let me buy you a steak.”

The restaurant was nice and not too crowded, which I was a huge relief. Then we were sat by a window, which made my anxiety flair up again. I tried to keep my face neutral, but I realized I was failing miserably when Adeel called me out. “Are you okay, Syd?”

“Yeah, I’m totally fine.” I replied with the best smile I could muster. I opened the menu and looked down, hoping to hide my face.

“No you’re not. You look….are you uncomfortable?” He asked incredulously.

“No, no, it’s not not that!” I struggled to find an explanation, but ultimately my brain failed me and I just confessed. “Yeah, I am—but its not you! It’s other people. I—I—don’t want anyone taking pictures of us together and posting them on the internet. You know how people like to gossip and spread rumors. I know you’re married and have kids and I just don’t want to cause you any trouble.”

Adeel stared at me for a second, then burst out laughing. “I’m not that famous, Syd! Trust me, the paparazzi aren’t chasing me down for my picture!”

I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks as my face turned red. I felt like an idiot. “I’m sorry. I feel so stupid…”

He reached over and grabbed my hand. “Hey, don’t feel stupid. I get it, it’s a perfectly understandable fear. Thank you for considering my reputation. And don’t worry, my wife knows I’m here with you. I told her everything.”

“Everything?” I asked. I didn’t exactly mean to say it, but I kind of felt it would be better addressed early on and release some of the pressure in my head.

He withdrew his hand from mine and folded his hands on the table in front of him. “You mean did I tell her that you and I had sex over a decade ago? No, I didn’t. I don’t think it matters at this point in our lives.”

My heart dropped a little at hearing him say that, but I plastered on a fake smile. “You’re right, it was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter anymore. We had fun and we moved on.”

“Sydney—”

“Can we get some wine? I think we need some wine—or a beer?”

For a moment it looked as if he wanted to say something, but ultimately he just smiled and nodded. “Yeah, beer sounds great.”

We spend the next hour and a half eating and talking like we used to. We talked about old friends, wrestling, and our families. He talked about his life with so much joy and pride. He practically glowed as he talked about becoming a husband, becoming a cop, a father and ultimately a WWE Superstar. He was so enthusiastic as he told stories about the things he experienced and the people he encountered. I was genuinely happy for him, and proud of the man he had become. I could listen to him talk forever, but he stopped and stared at me.

“Holy shit, I just realized I’ve been talking about myself this whole time.” He said, looking guilty.

“Oh no—please continue. Your life has been way more interesting than mine. I’m living vicariously through you.” I laughed, and he looked sad. “Don’t give me that look, Adeel. I’m fine. I know I’m not living my dream but I’m okay.”

“I know. You’re tough, Syd. I just always pictured us doing this together, that’s all.”

“You feel like you left me behind?” I asked. He nodded. “Don’t. Yeah, life sucks at times and I’m still a little bitter about what could have been, but I have a decent job and a happy and healthy daughter. I’ll get over myself eventually.” This time I reached over and grabbed his hand. “I’m just happy that one of us got to win the lottery. I’m happy of you, I’m proud of you, and you deserve this. Keep showing the world that heart.”

He gave my hand a squeeze. “Thanks, Syd.”

I smiled, then sighed. “Look, I hate to eat and run but I need to go home. I’ve got to work in the morning.”

“Yeah, me too. My flight is pretty early tomorrow.” Adeel said. “Can I walk you to your car?”

He paid and we made that short trip to the car in silence. We didn’t need to talk. We both knew what was about to happen. There would be no empty promises about keeping in touch, no half-ass attempts at getting together for dinner. Our lives were way too different and too busy for that. We had our moment in the sun and now it was over, our ships had finally passed. Only this time there was no awkward hug and no weird kiss on the cheek. Our hug was long and meaningful, and when we pulled back he kissed me on my forehead.

“That night did mean something, Syd. It was special.”

“Yeah, for me too.”

We exchanged one last smile before I got into my car. “Take care of yourself, Syd.”

“You too, Prince Mustafa Ali.”

I could hear him laughing a little as I drove off. He watched me until I was out of his sight, which he always did. I cried a little as I made my way home, but they were happy tears. I knew I most likely would never see my old friend again, but at least this time we got to say a proper goodbye.

[gratiasancti]

100 PERSONAL QUESTIONS

because @ineffablequestion​ decided to really put my patience to the test today . not that i mind , ily .

1. What is your middle name ?

maria 

2. How old are you ?

23 as of right now !

3. When is your birthday?

oct. 19th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

libra waddup

5. What is your favorite color?

i don’t really have one ? muted colours probably

6. What’s your lucky number?

again, can’t say i have one but maybe 29

7. Do you have any pets?

a dod and a horse

8. Where are you from?

finland / uk

9. How tall are you?

174 cm

10. What shoe size are you?

eu 39-40

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

like seven, if you don’t count my collection of riding shoes and boots. oxfords, brogues, wellies, trainers, and the rest are probably heels. as for riding boots, a lot.

12. What was your last dream about?

that i was late from work and got thrown in a tar pit because of it. and then i sold my old history teacher 500€ worth of alcohol and lottery tickets.

13. What talents do you have?

none?? unlimited sarcasm, idk

14. Are you psychic in any way?

i’m not sure if i believe in this stuff

15. Favorite song?

honestly, anything from hippo campus or glass animals.

16. Favorite movie?

the grand budapest hotel

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who counteracts some of my anxiety and excitedness with a calm and, when needed, firm character but is still funny and can be themselves. preferably someone who i feel is my intellectual equal, and we can share everything with each other. maybe a bit older than myself, but not by much. other than that, i really don’t care.

18. Do you want children?

currently, i can’t see myself ever having kids. just doesn’t seem like my thing. especially babies. maybe adopting or fostering could be an option, but only if i was sure i could give the child a good home.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i don’t think i want to get married

20. Are you religious?

not particularly

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

maaaaaaany times. multiple riding accidents, broken bones, a car crash. then just being an idiot in general. and chronic back problems.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

apart from once forgetting to pay for the underground and getting an 80€ fine, no.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

i’ve met and had dinner with two different finnish presidents and some other ‘upper class’ people but other than that, no. 

24. Baths or showers?

one of those rain shower things

25. What color socks are you wearing?

i have no socks !!!

26. Have you ever been famous?

uhhhh not in the literal sense of the word but i’ve been infamous at school when i was like 15. made a meme of one of our teachers that went low key viral in our city.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

definitely not in the hollywood sense of things. 

28. What type of music do you like?

a lot of things. anything, really, depending on the time of day and if i’m feeling particularly emo.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

that’s like the only type of swimming finnish people partake in. naked in the sauna, naked in the lake/ocean. so yes, multiple times a year jhdsnhb

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

currently like five

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

either on my back or on my stomach. depends on what place hurts that day lmao.

32. How big is your house?

closer to 400 m^2 . i still live with my parents but will move into my own flat in six months, once it’s ready. that’s going to be appx 70 m^2.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i know its a bad habit but i often dont have breakfast. if i do it's usually fruit and yoghurt or some toast.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

yes

35. Have you ever tried archery?

yes. fun fact; my cousin has won the european championchip ( in some form of archery idk ) like twice , i think. 

36. Favorite clean word?

defenestrate

37. Favorite swear word?

fuck. i use it Too Much™

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

can’t remember the exact amount of hours but we were sailing and our shifts got messed up to the point where i had either not slept at all or slept so little in like four days i was genuinely hallucinating. almost jumped into the sea because i thought i dropped my life vest,,, which i was wearing.

39. Do you have any scars?

a few. dumbest one probably when i rode in my shorts but used a saddle and rubbed the skin off of my calf. also from hay work, those little dots that look almost like moles.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

not that i know of

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, unfortunately. it’s a bad habit in the sense that i tell a lot of white lies when i could genuinely tell the truth with no consequence. like, it would be the one and the same.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

also yes. i’ve seen some shit. also i have surprisingly good people skills.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i can speak english in my normal accent which is kind of queen’s english (?) upper class idk, then in world’s english ( so basically no accent / neutral ) and then in finnish (rally) english .  i can also speak swedish with a rikssvenska (standard swedish ???) accent and then finlandssvenska which is finnish swedish (and an actual thing lmao). also i can butcher a norwegian or danish accent in swedish if i really try. my finnish is very neutral, but it does vary a bit depending on what city i’m in.

oh, and also a shitty southern american accent. 

44. Do you have a strong accent?

if i let it shine through, yes, but i tend toward world english because anything else scares finns. but when i speak finnish (which is most of the time) i don’t really have an accent. maybe you can hear that i’m not 100% finnish but that’s about it.

45. What is your favorite accent?

i don’t really have one ! all accents are really fascinating.

46. What is your personality type?

entj-a

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

i have a few expensive dresses, and then of course my riding clothes which cost ridiculous amounts of money because fuck everyone who likes horses, i guess. like excuse me but why is it normalised that you pay over 1000€ for a helmet??? anything less and you’re a peasant.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

mmmmyeah. 

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie!

50. Left or right handed?

pretty much ambidextrous, though i prefer to write with my left but do everything else mostly with my right. my handwriting doesn’t differ too much from left to write.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

yes. ew. and we’re lucky to only have tiny ones in finland !

52. Favorite food?

ummmmm. currently carelian pie maybe?? idk such a good snack.

53. Favorite foreign food?

squints??? sushi????

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

depends. often too lazy to clean but incredibly stressed and uncomfortable when its messy. meticulous about all the wrong things.

55. Most used phrase?

either some form of keysmash or “FUCK”. also in finnish either “voi jumalauta” or “voi saatana” which both basically translate to “jesus fucking christ”.

56. Most used word?

also fuck. this really must say something about me smdh.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

really depends. sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes two hours. on a normal day w/ shower and moderate make up, 15-25 minutes.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

depends really. i hope i don’t!

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

whomst the FUCK bites lollipops ?!?!?!

60. Do you talk to yourself?

i’ve only recently started. it’s terrifying.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

when driving if i’m listening to music, yeah

62. Are you a good singer?

honestly, no clue. i don’t really sing in front of people so i haven’t gotten opinions.

63. Biggest Fear?

failure.

64. Are you a gossip?

not about my friends, ever. but i will definitely listen to any tea you want to spill.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk does kingsman count as dramatic?? the first one was hilarious.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

both have their perks!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

LMAO i can name like 3 if i really try.

68. Favorite school subject?

history, english lang & lit, economics.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

extrovert but i get tired easily

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

yes ! we go to the maldives once in a while, because finland doesn’t offer much in terms of diving sites.

71. What makes you nervous?

not a lot of things? i guess some responsibilities. things left for me to do even if someone else was supposed to do them.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

a dark room ? no. a dark forest at midnight ? hell yess. finnish winter darkness is terrifying simply because its so depressing. seasonal depression is real yall.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends. if it’s a trivial mistake and they haven’t asked to be corrected, no. if it makes me or someone else feel bad or just makes any situation worse, then yes. but never unkindly.

74. Are you ticklish?

YES. ugh

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

no. i can’t recall doing so, at least. but i have participated in spreading them.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

yes. at work a couple of times simply out of necessity and also when i took part in MEP. was committee president twice and president of the general assembly once. though idk if that counts since i was like 17 and its all p much play pretend.

oh! and also when i captain our boat. but again, idk if that counts.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeah, ever since i was like 16 :/

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no, and never will. not my thing !!

79. Who was your first real crush?

probably a boy from class. i can’t remember, really. i’ve never been too  ‘romantically inclined’ i  suppose.

80. How many piercings do you have?

just my ears, once.

81. Can you roll your Rs?

almost every r in the finnish language is technically rolled so yeah. i feel bad for those finnish people who cant !! makes everything so hard.

82. How fast can you type?

according to this thing 75 words per minute on my first try, so idk how accurate that is.

83. How fast can you run?

not fast. i  hate running, and am very out of practice. 

84. What color is your hair?

idk ? like, light brown ?

85. What color are your eyes?

again, idk. blue/green/grey

86. What are you allergic to?

dogs, cats, birch, and almost anything that flowers in the spring jshbdsjh

87. Do you keep a journal?

not a journal per se but i have a ‘little black book’ which i keep rather meticulously about my thoughts on the day, important things i need to remember, my expenses etc. a habit inherited from my dad. i’ve gone through like six of these in the past few years.

88. What do your parents do?

my mum is a mayor and my dad is a ceo

89. Do you like your age?

yeah !

90. What makes you angry?

injustice.

91. Do you like your own name?

yes !

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

ksjdsjhb no. at this rate i’d end up naming a child crowley or sum shit

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i don’t want kids but if i did gender would be a non issue

94. What are you strengths?

lmao i have good people skills, work well under pressure, get along with everyone, am determined and ?? a good leader??? idk

95. What are your weaknesses?

i take on too much responsibility, i have anxiety and depression, i get frustrated at my own failures, i’m very self-critical and unforgiving. also no self-control when it comes to rp.

96. How did you get your name?

i think somewhere from my dad’s side, not entirely sure.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

possibly? not sure. but fun fact! a great great grandmother (? or something of the sorts) from my mother’s side actually survived the sinking of the titanic.

98. Do you have any scars?

wasn’t this asked already?

99. Color of your bedspread?

this blue mandala like pattern idk

100. Color of your room?

white and a very mellow blue

[thevioletjones]

For that trope mash up, could I please see some Gallavich for 48 and 80?

Fake dating + Green-eyed epiphany

Ok, I really fucking ran with this one. Lol. This is like a 1.2k outline…

What about a good old-fashioned high school reunion scenario? At first I thought Ian would be the one to get Mickey to fake date, but now I’m thinking it should be the other way around. Mickey wants to prove something. He wants everyone who ever thought he was a no good loser thug (and hetero to boot) to have their jaw on the floor when they see him again. He lucked into some money somehow. Maybe he won the lottery (fuck it, lol), and he managed to build a good business, so he’s totally owning the whole career thing. BUT, he doesn’t like relationships, just fucking, and he really wants to shock his old classmates by being outwardly gay in their faces, and since he’s not exactly flamboyant, he needs to have a hot-ass dude by his side to flaunt. He ropes Mandy into his scheme and asks for advice on hiring an escort, which he’s never done before. She says she has a better idea, and sets him up with Ian, who isn’t an escort… he works at a bar or something. Makes okay money, but could always use more, and it won’t be as weird and impersonal as hiring a professional. Mickey protests at first, but then Mandy shows him Ian’s pic, and he’s like, “Welllllll, maybe…” She rolls her eyes and says to come by Ian’s work tomorrow night, gives him the deets. They meet, and Mickey is like, yep, definitely would take this guy as arm-candy. Ian teases him about needing to pay for a boyfriend, but Mick’s just like, fuck you, take it or leave it. They hash out the fine points of their fake relationship, and Mickey is surprised how much fun it is inventing this fantasy life with Ian… the supposed way they met (a gay event during Fleet Week, Ian was in traditional Navy uniform and Mickey couldn’t resist), how long they’ve been together (5 years), where they vacation (Aruba, Maldives, Capri), whether they’re engaged or not (yes), and if they have any kids (no)… Ian asks how PDA they are at events like that, and Mick’s like, “I’ve never PDA’d in my entire life, man, unless you count making out with girls in front of people when I was younger to prove I wasn’t a homo.” And Ian’s like, “But wouldn’t a kiss or two go a long way in rubbing the whole out and proud thing in their faces? We definitely need to hold hands, at least.” Mickey gets super butterfly-stomach-y and is all, “Uhhhhh, let’s see how it goes.” And then the day comes, and they go to the reunion, and Ian totally holds his hand as they walk in, and everyone is definitely like wtffff flabbergasted, and Mickey is all big smiles, because fuck yes, this is all going exactly as he’d hoped. Everyone acts so fucking friendly that it makes him want to die laughing or tell them all to go fuck themselves with their fakeness, but acting like a high and mighty asshole upper-class gay with a fabulous life that can’t be bothered with your petty bullshit is much more satisfying as far as revenge goes. He’s never felt better than anyone before, but tonight he’s gonna act like he does. Ian is just like the most charming person ever, and is getting really into spinning wild yarns about their lives. Just pulling all these shared personal stories out of his ass while everyone laughs and gives him heart eyes, and Mickey is like, whoa, this guy is really good. And the drunker he gets, the more he’s like, whoa, this guy is like super hot and also amazing and maybe I kind of want to actually have this kind of life with him??? And so of course, they end up making out at their table while the DJ plays the last song of the night, and of course they end up banging at Mickey’s place after. BUT, in the harsh light of day, Mickey backslides into his ‘I am a rock, I am an island’ mode, and Ian is obviously hoping that they’ll start seeing each other. Mick reminds him that the whole reason he needed to pay someone to date him last night is cuz he doesn’t do boyfriends. Ian’s like, yeah, but we hit it off and we can take it slow. But Mickey totally shuts him down, because he’s a scared idiot. So Ian’s like, fine, fuck you, then. He was going to tell him never mind about the payment, but now he’ll take the check and go. Cut to a few weeks later, and Mickey meets up with Mandy, and he brings up Ian all coy, like “How’s he doin’?” And Mandy’s like, “He’s great. Has a new boyfriend.” And Mickey’s all, gulp, wtffff, feeeeelingssss. He asks if it’s serious, and she’s like, idk, maybe, why do you care? And he’s like, “Don’t.” Heh. And she’s like, yeah, sure, pal. “You’re a fucking pussy.” So a couple weeks later, Mandy invites him over for her birthday party or something, and he finally sees Ian again for the first time since the morning after. And he’s with the new boyfriend. And Mickey is like, so pissed off and not knowing what to do about it. Ian meets his eyes once, and gives him a curt nod of acknowledgement, then proceeds to ignore him for the rest of the night. Mickey just fumes in a corner, and Mandy comes over to lecture him like, BIG SIGH, “If you really actually like Ian, then just fucking tell him you want to date him. I don’t think he’s really invested in this other dude. YET. But that could change, so you need to make up your mind quick.” So the next time the bf disappears from Ian’s side, Mickey goes over, and is like, “Look, I know I was a dick, but the shitty thing is that I can’t stop thinking about you.” And Ian has to kind of push back a little first, so he’s defensively sarcastic. “Sounds like a you problem, not mine.” Mick: “Yeah, I know it ain’t your problem, but I just wanted to tell you that I’ve never really had that good a time with anyone before. In my whole fucked up life. So… whatever.” And he goes to walk away, but Ian’s all, “Wait.” And Mickey turns back around all raised eyebrows and biting his lip. Ian’s face softens, and he’s like, “What are you doing tomorrow night?” And Mickey shakes his head, “No plans.” Ian: “Maybe we could hang out or something.” Mickey: “What about your boyfriend?” Ian shrugs: “We’re not that serious. Doesn’t really feel… right.” Mickey smiles big then, and Ian rolls his eyes and smiles too, but pushes him further away, and says, “Tomorrow. After I give him the talk.” So they meet up the next night, and of course from that moment on, they’re pretty much boyfriends forever. :))) The end.

[storytaeme]

my wish list – taegi

Taehyung received the perfect Christmas miracle when he won a giveaway from his favorite camboy, sugar_d, who was willing to fulfill his wish list.

taegi week 2017 – taehyung x yoongi

❅ Prompt: Wish List

❅ Elements: Smut  |  Camboy AU    ↪ smut includes fingering, dildo, and camsex

❅ Word Count: 4,271 words

❅ A/N: Un-proofread lmao cause MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! it is still the 24th somewhere so i made it :’) anyway this is a quick smut, hope u like it!

Congratulations, kimchifriend! You have been selected as the winner of sugar_d’s holiday giveaway. Please respond promptly to this message if you are available next Thursday at 9PM KST for the appointment. Otherwise, I’ll be selecting a new winner. I hope you can make it, sugar!

Taehyung had never won a single thing in his entire life. All the shitty lotteries he’s joined in college, whether it be mini-mart scratch-offs or useful prizes during club events, all his raffle tickets seem to lead him to a dead end. Now, Taehyung might be a little reckless, but he only invested in things he truly, truly liked.

Like sugar_d’s regular show which costed him a good chunk of his paycheck but was worthwhile considering how relaxed he felt after every viewing. Sure, it included a fuck ton of wrist jerking on his side, but whatever it took to get him off, he would do it. Graduating college and being on a full-time job that paid generously yet took up a great portion of his daily life meant that he could barely find time to unwind and, you know, get his sex life back on track. Porn helped sometimes, but the huge dicks and forced moans had begun to wear out.

Hoseok was the one that led him to stumble upon this man’s show. It was sort of funny really. Taehyung had been cynical of the whole concept, had laughed at Hoseok for paying monthly to watch people get themselves off in front of a camera.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

While Hoseok subscribed to the standard plan of his favorite camgirl, Taehyung had unconsciously clicked the premium button in his moment of weakness with trembling knees. He hadn’t even considered dropping the subscription anytime soon.

So, every Wednesday after work and Sunday after doing the usual house chores, Taehyung would whip off his sweats, settle back comfortably on his bed, and prop open his laptop. Then he could beat himself off, slick sounds bouncing off the four walls without a care.

When sugar_d announced that he would be having a giveaway, Taehyung knew that the chances of him winning were slim to none. It was a charity thing—the more you donated to him, the higher the chances of winning. Taehyung had bought one balloon raffle on the site since he didn’t have the heart or rationality to purchase more. He had his own bills to pay after all. One balloon raffle against the millions of others. The odds smacked him in the face.

However, that was what startled him about the email. For so long, he stared at the words printed on the screen, scanning over every line and curve and wondering if this was some sort of prank. Did he really—

In his moment of crisis of deciding whether he should reply and risk his dignity, another message popped up.

sugar_d: hey there! i know the site sent you an automated message but figured i’d send you a personal one to wish you a congrats for winning my giveaway!

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

Taehyung let out a holler which prompted Jeongguk just a few feet away from him to jump. “Fuck, Guk, I won something. I actually won something!”

“Uh, congrats?” Jeongguk looked at him, puzzled, and returned to his game.

With trembling, excited fingers, he typed in his response, mouthing the words to himself to make sure that it sounded right.

kimchifriend: hOLY SHIT!!!! thank you so much??? i’ve never won anything in my life but this is like the goddamn lottery ty @Jesus

The typing bubble appeared for a little while, disappearing, then reappearing. Taehyung wondered if that had been too much of a response for something as small as a camboy private show giveaway. While waiting, he quickly clicked the confirm button to accept his gift and the notification celebrated his win with confetti on his screen.

sugar_d: pffft, sorry, i was laughing too hard to type. but i’m glad you think so! i see that you’ve confirmed. i’ll send you a list of things i won’t do, and so please don’t request any of those. if you want me to prepare things ahead of time, do send me your list! it’ll be a two-hour long show so buckle up, big boy

Taehyung was going to nut so good.

When the day arrived, he had managed to kick Jeongguk out of the apartment for a good two hours so he could comfortably relax without the risk of Jeongguk walking in on him with his meat in his hand. Not that they hadn’t seen each other’s dicks before, it just seemed safer to avoid any strange possibility of sexual tension between roommates.

sugar_d, who usually went by Suga, had given him a Skype account to add days ago, throwing in a kiss emoji that shot an arrow right through his poor, little heart. Taehyung had worked on adding him, but despite all that he knew about the science of the body and nature (biology major problems), he wasn’t the best at handling technology. Thus, when the time came that Suga called him on the program, he clicked the accept button and—

Holy fuck, his poor dick.

As requested, the guy was all dressed up in the prettiest babydoll that Taehyung had purchased for him. It was white to complement his milky skin with pink lace trimming. The skirt fell halfway down his thighs to continue to the stretch of his thin legs. He was kneeling on the bed, hands placed elegantly over his creamy thighs. His hair was a little messy, looked fucked out before they even began. His lips—fuck, they were glistening tantalizingly.

“Holy shit,” he whispered to himself, pushing his face closer to his screen as if he could get a better look that way.

The chuckle that followed from the man on the other side had Taehyung’s dick twitching. “Hello, baby.” Taehyung wanted to cry. “I thought you wanted to be anonymous, but you’re pretty cute.”

His brows knitted in confusion at that until he searched the screen to find his face in a small corner of it. Oh shit, he forgot to turn off the camera. Taehyung fumbled around, flushing in embarrassment, “Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t mean to be a weirdo or anything, I know you don’t want to see faces. I’m new at this whole Skype thing.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Suga grinned, gummy teeth and crinkly eyes. Taehyung was in love. “I don’t think I’d mind watching you, if you don’t mind that is. I’ve never seen people react live to my shows so it would be a nice change.”

“Y-you want me to keep my cam on?”

Suga smiled, winking, “Only if you want to, baby.”

God, yeah, he definitely wanted to. A small part of him called him pathetic for imagining Suga to be some sort of boyfriend material that he was having camsex with. So sue him, he could let his imagination live if he wanted to. “Yeah,” Taehyung licked his lips, “but I can’t guarantee I won’t have, uh, a reaction.”

“Is it bad that I kind of want to see you play with yourself?” Suga’s pearly whites caught his bottom teeth, eyes looking up softly at the screen.

Taehyung felt all the blood rush south to press his hardening dick against the seam of his sweats. He wished he had put on something more attractive but he had on a ratty university tshirt and a pair of worn-out sweats. He hadn’t been expecting to be putting on a show for Suga in the first place. “I’m—shit, I’m really hard right now just from hearing you talk.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Suga laughed, “so just to confirm your small list here, which by the way, I was expecting to be longer and more extreme.” He dangled a sheet of paper in front of the camera that printed down everything Taehyung had asked for. Taehyung hadn’t gotten the chance to get down and dirty with anyone with full-blown kinks so he wasn’t quite sure what to throw into the list. “I’m kind of grateful you kept it simple.”

“Sorry,” Taehyung replied sheepishly, “I wasn’t expecting to win so I just… didn’t think this thoroughly.”

Suga grinned again, leaning forward to give a close up of his pretty face. God, Taehyung was so, so in love. “Don’t worry, baby, your list is perfect. It’s everything I can do so I can make sure that I give you the perfect show.”

“I think anything you decide to do will be perfect,” Taehyung blurted out then proceeded to blush. Why was he trying to do smooth pick up lines? Taehyung wasn’t smooth pick up lines. He was smooth and suave hidden in a full package of awkward and clumsy.

The man paused on screen, his face flattening to an expression akin to surprise. “That’s cute,” he finally said, amusement lacing his voice. “So, baby, are you going to play with me?”

Taehyung swallowed thickly and ignored the sudden throbbing in his pants. “C-can I?”

“Mhm,” Suga hummed and began to tease the thin strap of his little dress. “Show me what you got.” Taehyung inhaled sharply and nodded, pushing his laptop back a little and pulling down his pants. When Suga laughed, he looked up in alarm. “You’re not much of a tease, are you?”

“No, sorry,” he laughed, “more of a direct kill kind of guy.”

Suga grins, letting the straps drape around his arms. “I like it, it’s refreshing. Now come up, baby, let me see your cock.”

Taehyung nodded and sat back against the pillows, laptop in between his legs so his cock could be seen.

“Wow,” he let out a whistle, lips curling into a slow lazy smirk. “You’re so hung, God, bet you’d fill me up so good. Your cock is so thick.” The man licked his lips, which in turn had Taehyung squeezing his shaft to stop himself from jerking it hard and fast.

“Y-you think so?”

“One of the thickest I’ve seen, baby,” Suga drawls, slowly hiking the skirt up his thighs. Taehyung’s lips parted as his eyes focused on the tantalizing skin being exposed bit by bit. It was almost hypnotizing the way his small fingers drew the fabric upwards, higher and higher until Taehyung could see the hint of another layer of clothing covering his privates.

Taehyung wished that he could be there, catch that fabric between his teeth and tug it up himself. It was a tempting offer and Suga seemed very keen after seeing his dick—but then again, that was the way he worked. He teased, pulled and pushed, until all his viewers were tossing online money in his direction. Suga was one of the big pullers in the site, raking in thousands with one go that allowed him to purchase more toys and lingerie to please his audience. Other times, he survived on donations for pretty things that he could use during the show, like roleplay outfits and pretty panties.

He was the best crowd pleaser.

Even then as he let the hem fall over his thighs again, all Taehyung could do was miserably throw his head back and let out a pained moan. Suga giggled, a cute lilted tease, “Don’t you make the sexiest sound? You sound like this every time you get hot and bothered, baby?”

“Mmph,” Taehyung whined, “yeah, always like this.”

“Why don’t you boss me around? You know I like a man with authority.” Suga bit his plump bottom lip and coyly twirled his finger around the string of his dress. This was what Taehyung had placed on his list. Fuck.

Taehyung took a deep breath, fingers tightening around his dick, “Slip that thing off, doll. Take it off for me.”

Suga nodded and tugged the thin silk up. It looked so smooth and neat, sliding up his skin all too easily before finally lifting up to his stomach. His stomach was soft and pudgy, a cute thing that added to his innocence. However, that certainly wasn’t the aspect of him that caught Taehyung’s eye. His cock, hard and leaking, was peeking off the top of his panties. A pair of cotton white ones.

Holy shit. Taehyung could practically feel his eyes roll back as he uncapped his lube and drizzled it all over his cock.

“Sorry, baby,” Suga said, looking far from apologetic, “I played with myself a little earlier. Got myself a little messy.” As if to make his point, he pressed his index finger against the tip of his cock and raised it up, letting a string of precum that connected his digit to his length stretch. Even in the shitty connection, Taehyung could see the line. His lips parted almost instinctively, tongue practically salivating for it.

“I-I can help you with that,” Taehyung gulped, eyes still glued on how fucking fantastic Suga looked with with the panties pressing his cock up against his stomach. It was such a pretty little thing. Although he had never seen the man live, Suga’s cock looked much, much smaller compared to Taehyung’s. Not that it was a bad thing. Taehyung most definitely could work with it and might even have a thing for smaller cocks. There was something almost endearing, almost taboo about the size that had his mouth watering and throat drying.

The man looked up at him from his lashes as he nudged his hips forward a little. The action creating a friction that dragged his panties back slightly, tightening it around his hips. Fuck, what a sight. “Yeah? You think so, baby?”

“Yeah, sugar, I can try,” Taehyung rasped, gritting his teeth as he worked his cock slower. He couldn’t go too fast. If he came quickly, it would be so, so embarrassing. “How about you turn around and pull those panties up more, hm? Want to see it in your ass, doll.”

Suga squirmed and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Turning around, he slowly bent over, taking his time to allow Taehyung the opportunity to appreciate that unblemished ass. Christ, if he were there, he would’ve wanted to imprint his handprint on that snowy skin, would’ve nibbled on the skin until the back of his thighs were littered with purples and blues. The pretty boy gave a small shudder when he tugged the fabric up between his cheeks, grazing it over his tight hole. He even went as far as to push it aside and give Taehyung a glimpse of that puckered opening.

Taehyung’s tongue absentmindedly poked out as if seeking out that opening. God, he wanted to eat that ass. “Y-you’re so gorgeous,” he stammered nervously, wrist still flicking to stroke his cock. “Get your lube, doll, I want to see you open yourself up for me. Can you do that?”

The man didn’t even blink before he quickly reached for his lube and drenched his fingers in it. He rubbed his fingers together before arching his back more, sticking his ass towards the screen. Fuck. Then his fingers ghosted over the entrance, his body shivering at the coolness of the gel as he teased the rim with a single finger. Taehyung moaned painfully and circled his fingers around his cock, stopping his level of libido that was climbing much too fast.

“D-do you think I’m pretty?” Suga asked, throwing a sultry, sweet look over his shoulder. It was both adorable and sexy, the combination lethal when Taehyung was already biting his knuckle to hold back his sounds of pleasure.

“You’re fucking beautiful, pretty,” Taehyung breathed, the oxygen barely making it into his lungs. The world seemed to crumble around him in this heavenly bliss when Suga finally pushed a finger in—one miserable finger. The hole tightened around his finger, sucking it in. Fuck, his ass must be so, so tight. Taehyung could imagine how his tongue would feel inside there. He could probably stroke every inch of his wall and swirl the muscle around and have the man writhing underneath him within minutes. It was torturous to see Suga dance a finger around the rim, dipping it every once in a while but never fully fingering himself. “Come on, doll, don’t tease me like this,” Taehyung protested weakly.

He’d be lying if it wasn’t doing wonders to his dick. Suga finally showed some semblance of mercy when he slipped a finger in and then added another. The blonde pressed his face deeper into the sheets, letting out a curse when he started to slide his digits in and out. Taehyung wished he could record this moment, how fucking incredible he looked. His fingers seemed to be swallowed in, vacuumed into the thick skin. It wasn’t long before Suga was shuddering, fingers stuttering in his ass. Taehyung watched him curl his fingers inside of himself, the tips of his fingers scraping his insides.

“Fuck, fuck, you look so good like that, sugar,” Taehyung choked, eyes slamming shut as he pushed away the urge to fucking come. He wasn’t even halfway done and Taehyung was already on the edge. “B-but I don’t want to come like this. Turn around for me again, on your knees.”

Suga whimpered but did as was told. And—fuck, Taehyung didn’t think it could get any better. However, the contrast between the purity of the pair of panties against the tip of his reddened cock, dripping with come rolling down and staining his underwear, might just be the death of him. What a wonderful death that would be.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung clenched his jaw, “how are you so beautiful, doll? God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty. So fuckin’ sexy and sweet. Whoever’s fucking you must be having the time of their life. Bet they get to enjoy that tight ass whenever they want.”

“N-nobody—” Suga’s breath hitched “—nobody’s fucking me right now. I just play with myself, it gets a little lonely.”

Taehyung’s lip quivered. Christ, this man really was going to end him. “Nobody, doll? God, you’re so pretty you deserve to be fucked good every night.”

“Wish I had that,” Suga moaned.

“Bounce on your fingers for me, doll. Fuck yourself like how you’d imagine me fucking you,” Taehyung instructed in a grunt. Suga followed his orders religiously, lifting his body up and dropping back down. His lips parted every time he sank down on his fingers, the long digits slipping inside and generating electricity that coursed through him. Taehyung drank in the sight, memorized every inch of Suga’s smooth skin coated with a sheen layer of sweat that was barely visible in the camera. It was pretty nonetheless to see him glisten from time to time underneath the lights.

“Hnng, fuck that feels so good, so tight—aah, I c-can feel it,” Suga whined, finding the rhythm to his movements and exerting enough source to build up the bubbling pleasure inside of him. Taehyung himself could feel flame lick up his skin, setting his entire body alight with thrill at the sight of the pretty boy. “Fuck, w-want your cock inside me instead,” he groaned, head lolling back as he relished in the utter deliciousness of the sensations.

Taehyung cooed, pupils dilating as his gaze traced over the man’s lithe frame, “You’re so pretty, doll. Look at your cock dripping so wet for me, what a good boy.” Suga let out a small, satisfied whimper at that. “God, what a gorgeous thing you are. I bet you’re always like this, hm? Always so wet for any guy who gives you a little attention?”

Suga’s body tensed up and an apology was already hanging on the tip of his tongue but the man was already releasing a loud moan from his lips. Whines that had fire igniting in every inch of his body escaped his throat, had Taehyung shifting himself and fucking his hand faster.

“Y-you have your toy, sugar?” Taehyung choked, eyes still wide to take in every bit of Suga. “Do you have a cock there with you to fill you up?”

The boy nodded quietly, face scrunched up as if he was deeply hurt. Taehyung was on the same boat, he supposed. The incessant throbbing of his cock was beginning to hurt and all he wanted was that sweet release. But he wanted to make the most of his time with Suga while he could, even if that meant he had t to endure a major case of temporary blue balls.

When Suga finally pulled out the object, Taehyung could already feel the come rising in his dick. Holy shit. The thing was thick and tan, might even rival Taehyung’s. It was the perfect size and, without being instructed to do so, Suga stuck the silicone into his mouth.

“F-fuck,” Taehyung cursed under his breath, moving forward to get stare at Suga better as he took the toy deep into his mouth. His tongue swirled around the tip, he spat on it so he could move his fingers along the length. His eyes squeezed shut as he shoved it deep into his throat, nearly gagging on it. It really was such a pretty sight. Suga sucked on the thing like his entire life depended on it, taking almost the whole thing into his mouth and stroking the rest. Taehyung’s cock twitch with his imagining that it was his own length that Suga was swallowing. “Baby, please,” he begged pitifully, “please just—shit, just fuck it. I can’t—I don’t think I’ll last any longer.”

While before Taehyung felt in complete control of the situation, able to tell Suga exactly what he wanted, he was left a pleading mess in his hands at that moment. It was everything he could ever picture and more. He’s seen Suga take things into his mouth before—popsicles, lollipops, dildos, you name it—but it was different when he was doing it in a one-on-one show with a toy that looked almost identical to his dick. It was intimate, a private moment shared between the two. It really wasn’t fair to his dick nor his heart.

Suga, fortunately enough for the sake of his aching member, grinned wickedly and agreed. “How do you want me, baby?”

“On your back, lie on your back,” Taehyung panted desperately, twisting his fingers around his tender length. The friction provided some relief but it wasn’t enough, it really wasn’t. He wanted to see Suga come undone before him, needed it to reach the full extent of his climax.

The blonde laid down and slid his panties off, flicking them aside carelessly. Taehyung could only watch as he slowly pushed the toy inside of him. Every inch that fit into him provoked a whine or a squeak. He observed not so quietly as moans of his own tumbled from his lips. He jerked his cock, tugged it, squeezed it. Suga pushed the makeshift cock inside of him, nudging his hips so he could move it in tempo with his hand.

He kept fucking himself over and over, the cock had him whimpering on the bed, cock dripping a mess all over his sheets. Taehyung couldn’t breath, his breath choking up in his chest at the sight. His brain was going all haywire as he tried to control what remained of his self-restraint.

“Fuck, just like that, doll,” Taehyung grunted, thrusting his hips up. He could practically taste sex in the air, painting the picture of his cock sliding into the pretty boy in his mind. “Fuck yourself all good for me. Make yourself feel good. You’re so fuckin’ pretty, holy fuck.”

“Mm, hnnng, just like t-that,” Suga stammered to himself, pushing his body down against the dildo. “F-feels so good, wish it was actually you—shit, aaah—wish it was you fucking into me right now.”

“Me too, doll, me too,” Taehyung breathed, “fuck, I’m gonna come. M’gonna come so hard for you.”

Suga’s lips parted as he adjusted his position so he could see Taehyung. “Do it, baby, wanna see you spill all over your fingers. I want to see you—”

Before he could even finish, Taehyung was already pouring all over his hands, his wrists that had grown tired slowly doing to milk the last of his orgasm. It was a deliriously incredible high, a peak that had him muffling his groans into his voice. Taehyung let his head hit the back of his bed with a thump. “A-are you going to come with me, doll? Why don’t you do it? I-I wanna see you all over your hands, over your sheets, wanna know how fucking good it feels to get fucked like that.”

With a few more strokes, Suga was coming all over his stomach, panties still pushed aside and ripped at that point. It was a gorgeous sight and Taehyung swore that he could hear angels singing in the background.

“T-that was a good session,” Suga muttered afterwards, crinkling his nose as he wiped off the remnants of his desire from his body.

“Yeah,” he agreed, clearing his throat. His hand was still sticky but he couldn’t be bothered to move to clean himself up. He was feeling thoroughly fucked out without even doing the fucking. “Happy holidays, I guess.”

Suga snorted, “Happy holidays.”

sugar_d: hey, I know this is kind of weird but you wanna do that again sometime? Free of charge

sugar_d: just that i had a good time last time

kimchifriend: um??? Dude yes???? I mean im gonna keep subscribing to ur shit but a private show with you im always down

sugar_d: great :)

sugar_d: the name’s yoongi btw

kimchifriend: nice to meet ya, im tae

[mistakesarebeingmade-blog]

Sorry this is so late! I wrote an 8000 word angst Bakudeku fan fiction for @otaku-1325  

Participating in @boku-no-secret-santa was so much fun!! I hope this writing is what you were looking for!

Words: 8184

Includes swearing 

Possible typos

No Quirks AU // This fic is slightly inspired by Your Lie in April. If you don’t know what that it, I suggest you watch it with tissues. If you do, well, you have an idea of what’s coming. Enjoy!! (This story is in Bakugou’s point of view)

Silence — A BakuDeku fanfic

-·- silence (n.) — the complete absence of sound | Origin — Middle English: from Old French, from Latin silentium, from silere ‘be silent.’ -·-

“Local piano competition on Wednesday, March 15,” I read to myself.

   Lately, I’ve have had nothing to do. All of my friends have plans and I’m either stuck at home (ugh) or trying to find some bullshit thing to do. I decided to look at the “Upcoming Events” bulletin board at the school as a last resort. The flyer for the piano competition was just the first thing I pulled off the board. I don’t give a shit about piano but anything is better than nothing.

   March 15th is tomorrow. I call my mom to tell her that I have plans.

   “Did you call to tell me that you’re moving out, Katsuki?” she answered. I know, she’s great.

   “No, I have plans for tomorrow so I’m not trapped in the house all fucking day,” I tell her.

   “Language! Also, good for you. You got a life. What is it?”

   “A piano competition…” I mumble, already knowing her response.

   “Katsuki! Oh my fucking God! You really have run out of ideas!” I heard her laughing hard in the background. “Hope you have a great time.” And with that, she hung up, but I swear I could still hear her.

   Well now I’m definitely going and I will have a fucking good time to prove that old hag wrong, I promised myself.

   I just hope that I have a good time or I risk my mother making fun of me further.

   -· We’re all strange and maybe we don’t wanna change ·-

   I decided to wear a black collared shirt with black jeans. They wear the least… death related clothing in my closet. My mother was smirking as I left the house.

   I arrived at the competition just as it began. I was handed a program with the name and order of the contestants. They were all going to play the same piece of music, Chopin something or other. While looking over the list, I recognized a couple of names. They were Kirishima Enjiro and Midoriya Izuku. Kirishima is one of my friends and he told me that he was going to some shitty party, not this. I would make sure to confront him about it later.

   Midoriya is a whole other damn story. We were childhood friends. At first, it was because my mom made me, but he was a really good friend. Midoriya Izuku was loyal, trustworthy, honest, and kind. It was like I won the fucking lottery with him. He’s played the piano for a long time and has always been very good. However, he was eventually considered “uncool”. My more popular friends pushed Izuku away. They gave him the nickname Deku and that stuck. I still call him that, if need be. I see that it hurts him but I have a reputation to uphold. It’s already rocky after coming out as a flaming homosexual. If I was thought to have more than negative feelings towards him, then I’d be ruined. It’s horrible, yes, but that’s the way my mind works.

   Anyway, the competition was starting and I made my way to the auditorium. The first person up was some damn rich kid. I’d never heard of him before. His playing was relatively dull and unoriginal. I nearly fell asleep.

By the second performance, I was asleep. I woke up when a more interesting version of the musical piece was being played. It had harder and louder tone to it. When I looked at who was playing, I was not surprised to see Kirishima at the piano. All eyes went to him. It was amazing, surprisingly, and I sat on the edge of my seat.

Next was the last performance and obviously the other fan favorite, Midoriya Izuku. When he walked on stage, he looked much different from the last time I saw him (two weeks ago). His green hair was a little longer and reflected the light from the ceiling. He wore a suit tailored specifically for him, which fit perfectly. His bright, green eyes glowed from the excitement. He fucking belonged on that stage and we all knew it.

When he sat down at the piano bench, the auditorium went dead silent. We held our breath waiting for Izuku to play the first note. When he did, it sounded so different from everyone else. It was the exact opposite of Kirishima’s performance. These notes were gentle. They were like walking through Japan in a place where the cherry blossoms are in full bloom and you can have all the beauty to yourself.

The notes also told a story. Izuku transformed the song from something dull into a story of his life. They told of a happy, humble start in a simple but beautiful setting. They then moved onto a slightly more excited and nervous tone. There was also a bit of joy in there. It felt like the early school days or maybe a really good friend. They stayed here for a while. Some people were getting noticeably antsy as they awaited the next part of the story.

The next part of the story took a dark turn. They suddenly became the opposite of the earlier happy sounds. Something big and life-changing happened in the story. Maybe the main character lost someone they really cared about? The song was almost done before the tone shifted again. This time it felt like the story’s character was lost without anyone to really hold onto. When I took a look at the people around me, I saw tears in their eyes. I looked over at Izuku. He looked ready to bawl. Then I left something wet on my face. My first thought was rain. My second was that this is an enclosed room. My third was the realization that I, too, was crying.

And, finally, the story (or song, rather) ended. I craved more but could feel that there was none more. That was all of the story so far. Then, I thought back to Izuku’s face as he played the ending of the song. A sudden realization shocked me. This story is his.

Everyone went to their feet while applauding Izuku, as did I. He deserved it. He bowed and waved at the audience. We still clapped. I could see him blushing, even under the bright stage lights. He was proud to have made such an impact on so many people. Some threw flowers onto the stage for him. He picked them up and walked off the stage.

The person I went to see first after the competition was Kirishima. He had more explaining to do and didn’t seem horribly busy (well, he was but I scared them off).

“B-Bakugou! I didn’t know that you liked piano music!” he stuttered. I laughed and elbowed him in the ribs.

“I didn’t until today. You and Izuku left quite the impression,” I tell him.

“Midoriya was so amazing! The way he captivated the audience every step of the way is something I wish I could do. Did you know that he’s been playing since he was three?”

“Yeah. I have a question for you though. Why did you lie about a party, hair for brains?” I gave him my best evil eye.

“Um, well, you see… I wanted to sound cool?”

I rolled my eyes. “Your playing was goddamn manly enough. Now go talk to your fans. I have another fucking person to talk to.”

I left Kirishima to his fans and made my way through the sea of people surrounding Izuku. I tapped him on his shoulder to get his attention. When he saw me, I swear he jumped twenty feet. I chuckled slightly at his reaction.

“Kacchan! Wha-What are you doing here?” he stammers. I notice how he still calls me the name he’s called me since we were little. I find the thought fact comforting.

“Watching people play the piano. You did pretty fucking decent, Deku,” I say without realizing what I’ve called him. He winces but keeps smiling.

“Thank you…” he mumbles. He puts his head down.

“What the hell is wrong? Is everything alright with your mom?”

He looks back up at me. “Huh?” I don’t think he expected me to ask such a personal question after I had bullied him for years.

“Well? Are you ok?” I urge.

“Yes, if it makes you happy. Why do you care, Kacchan? You’ve tormented me for years and now you decide to be pleasant? I’m terrified to face you,” he admits. His words stung, but I deserved that.

“Look around, Izuku. Do you see those people that used to follow me around?” I asked. He looked around.

“No, you left them behind when you got accepted to the high school we attend. What’s the purpose of this?”

“I was cruel to you because those assholes made me. They were the ones that came up with that nickname of yours that I accidentally called you. I never wanted to stop being your friend and I chose popularity over you.” Next, I am going to say the hardest words for me to say, as I’d been raised differently. “I’m sorry.”

Izuku stared at me with a blank look on his face. We stood in silence for a few moments before he spoke again. “How do I know that you’re being truthful? I assume that you realized that the way I played the piano tonight described my life, but did you know that part of the dark and desolate section was about when I lost you?”

It was like a dagger through the heart with the way he said that. I knew that I caused him pain but not to the point where he felt so strongly that he could include in a piece of music.

“I didn’t know. Please meet me at the café a couple of blocks from here so I can try and prove myself to you,” I finally said.

He shook his head. “No, Kacchan. I can’t afford another loss. I’ve grown since then. Maybe if you can prove yourself around other people at school, then I might take another chance on you. If not, then you must learn to say goodbye. Oh, and one more thing. I won’t allow you to call me by my first name either until I can trust you again. Have a nice day.”

And then he went back to the people wanting to talk to him about his playing, acting like nothing had happened.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I spun around ready to slap them when I saw that it was just Kirishima.

“Bad day?” he asks me.

“Shitty Hair, don’t sneak up on me!” I yell.

“Sorry! But honestly, how are you? Your conversation with Midoriya didn’t seem to go very well.”

“It was fucking  -f- fine! I don’t want to talk about it and if you’ll excuse me, I need to go home and have a nap or five. See you tomorrow.”

-· I’ll be a dreamer ‘till the day I die ·-

I had a nightmare that night. In it, I was a child again. Midoriya was there, too. He had scratches on his knees and hands from when I pushed him on the ground.

“Stupid Deku! You can’t do anything right! Why did I let you around me for so long? My friends are right; you’ll never be more than Deku,” I had said to the sniffling boy.

He looked up at me with the most broken expression. Tears filled his eyes as he spoke just one word to me: “Why?” Midoriya ran off somewhere after that.

I backed into the looming shadows of our elementary school. I looked down at my hands and saw a blood red color start to envelop my body. I screamed and tried to get rid of it, but it wouldn’t leave. I tried calling for the people I called friends, but they just started laughing at me. I tried calling for Midoriya in the end. When he came, the red shadow disappeared but one word was left etched into my skin: why.

My mom yelled at me when I woke up screaming. “It’s three am, Katsuki! Some of us still want to get some damn sleep!”

Unfortunately, I couldn’t get back to sleep. I went to the kitchen and fixed myself a bowl of cereal and watched reruns of old shows until it was time to get ready for school.

Before I left to go to school, I asked my mom something that has been in the back of my mind since talking to Midoriya yesterday.

“Is the Midoriya family doing ok?”

My mom looked at me with a quizzical expression. “What makes you ask that? You haven’t shown a shred of interest in their family since you started bullying Izuku.”

“I was just something he said that has me concerned. He was performing at the piano competition and I talked to him for a little while,” I replied.

“He’s still doing piano even after Inko’s death? Damn, the kid has balls. He still—” I cut her off.

“Excuse me? His mom died and you didn’t tell me?” I shouted. My mom’s face flushed red.

“Shit! I forgot that you didn’t know…” she mutters.

“When?” I demanded.

“It was not too long after I got the second report of you bullying, so around five years ago in September?”

The second report of bullying happened not long after the first. That means that Midoriya’s mom died around when I started bullying him. That just made me feel even worse and further encouraged me to prove myself to him. I ran to the school so I could I could think of ideas.

There weren’t very many people there when I arrived. The only person that I was close to was Kaminari, and he was busy doing late homework. The only people here that could help me with this Midoriya situation are Todoroki and Uraraka. I walked up to them, careful not to look threatening (not easy).

“Uh, hi, Bakugou. What are you doing here?” Uraraka asked me.

“I need advice,” I admitted flat out. “It’s about Midoriya. You see, I need to prove myself trustworthy to him, which will be difficult. It’ll be even harder seeing as how his mom died soon after I started bullying him. I watched him play piano in a competition yesterday, and he poured his heart and soul into the piece. He told a story that couldn’t be expressed through words. Do you understand what I mean by any of that?”

They look at each other with a confused expression and shrug.

Todoroki says, “That won’t be easy. I haven’t been close to Midoriya for a long time, but I’ve seen how he can get when he’s upset. Depending on what it is, it could be really easy or really hard to make him feel happy again. It also has a lot to do with what he wants. If Midoriya doesn’t want anything to do with you, then that’s that. If he secretly hopes for you to come back, it will be easier only by the slightest. What you did was beyond forgiving, in my opinion.”

It’s Uraraka who speaks next. “I agree with Todoroki. You’re not a great person by any means but I have high hopes for you. I also have something else to add and it’ll probably help you out the most. Midoriya really likes it when people have physical, face-to-face conversations. If you can’t manage one of those, then try to do small gestures. They don’t have to be to only him, too. Prove you’ve changed by helping out everyone. Well, maybe not Mineta, but you get my point. Good luck, Bakugou.”

I walked away from them and sat down angrily at my desk. I tried to dissolve into the background and forget that I am here. I listened to small conversations between friends, Iida yelling at someone, and grape head being a pervert become one sound in the back of my head. I closed my eyes and let sleep engulf my conscious.

A loud bang woke me up suddenly. I drowsily looked around to see where it came from and saw Aizawa standing before, a blank expression on his face.

“Would you care to explain why you’re sleeping in my class, Bakugou? I’m the only one allowed to do that,” he said, monotone as usual.

“I was spacing out and I must have dozed off. Oops,” I answered, acting like my old self. I looked around and saw Midoriya shaking his head.

“Uh…I mean, I’m sorry. I should’ve been paying attention. It’s my fault,” I correct myself.

The classroom goes silent and everyone has a shocked look on their face, even Aizawa. Midoriya looks slightly proud of me, I think. It’s hard to tell with that tone of face. He marks something down in one of his notebooks.

“That’s fine. Um,” Aizawa is at a loss for words, still shocked by my apology. “Just pay attention.”

After class is dismissed, I try to think of my next good deed of the day. Ok, those words do not fit me. ‘My next good deed’? Really? Is this what I’ve succumbed to? I’m trying so hard to get Midoriya back that I’m willing to risk all that I’ve worked to get. And why? Why do I care so much about him? I just shrug off the feeling and focus of the task at hand.

I decide to help Jirou, a person I’ve never talked to more than once, carry all of her things to lunch. She was really shocked and apprehensive at first, but when she saw that I meant well, she let it go. It’s kind of a relief when people stop being scared of you. You don’t have to work so hard 24/7 to keep up the appearance. Now, I’m just like the rest of the side characters.

After helping Jirou, I go sit at my usual table with Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, and Mina. They joke around about Kirishima’s piano skills (I regrettably told them). Though Kirishima is laughing along with them, his eyes say that he doesn’t like it. I saw yesterday that he is truly passionate about the piano. It was his one escape and I spoiled it for him. I spoke up.

“Hey, dumbasses, how would you like if someone you considered a friend made fun of you for your one true passion? Like you, Mina. How would you feel if someone made fun of your love of aliens and conspiracy theories?”

She stops talking and looks at me. “Pretty shitty, not gonna lie. Aliens are my life!”

I wasn’t done yet. “And Sero? You love Spiderman and used to want to be just like him. I’ve seen your room and you still love him. What if you were bullied for that?”

It was his turn to look slightly confused. “Bad? Regret? I don’t know, but it wouldn’t be happy, I guess.”

Lastly, I turned to Kaminari. “You like Pokémon, specifically Pikachu, and have a fear of water. What if that was leaked?”

Kaminari, despite being a little slow, caught on to what I was doing. “Not good. I see what you mean.” He turns back to a confused Kirishima. “Sorry, bro. I didn’t think about what the piano might mean to you.”

Mina nods enthusiastically. The other had two finally caught on. “I’m really sorry, Kiri! I wasn’t thinking!”

“Me too. We all have our passions and yours is piano. That’s not a reason to joke. I’m sorry,” Sero finished. The three brought Kirishima into a bear hug.

Kirishima, being the emotionally unstable teenage boy he is, burst out into tears. He met my eyes and I just shrugged with a smirk on my face as if saying, ‘Don’t worry about it.’ I looked over and saw Midoriya writing more in his notebook. He glanced in my direction and smiled.

I met up with Midoriya after school. He wasn’t talking to any of his friends so I found the time appropriate.

“You did good today. They loved you,” he says. “Especially the whole thing with Kirishima. Now that was good. Who knew Bakugou Katsuki was such a great peacemaker, problem-solver, and just an all-around good person at heart?” Midoriya chuckles.

I looked around. “Don’t say stuff like that out loud!” I continued in a quieter voice, “I didn’t really try that hard with Kirishima. That was instinct. When one of my friends are hurting, I have to fix the problem immediately. He’s my best friend, as well,” I admitted. Midoriya smiled.

“That’s a good thing, Kacchan. You have a real capability of not being mean. You’ve impressed me today. I have to admit, when Aizawa woke you up, I was expecting a full-blown rage attack. Instead, you acted maturely. I took notes on all that you did and now I’m pleased to admit that I accept your café offer from yesterday! I’ll see you there in three hours.”

I actually smiled a bit. “I was going to ask you, actually,” I respond.

“I know. That why I did it.” Midoriya smirks and walks off to join Todoroki, Iida, and Uraraka. They all looked happy together and I was jealous of such a put together friendship, compared to my mess. Don’t get me wrong, I love those little shits, but they can be a real nuisance. They’re like hyperactive puppies that you need to train or else. I don’t even know how I got with them. I guess it mostly has to do with the sports festival earlier this year. After that, we were like best friends.

Anyway, enough about them. I think I’m getting my next chance with Midoriya. That’s exciting, I hope. But also not too exciting. I don’t want to die.  

Later that day, he texted me saying that he was ready to go to the café. I told my mom that I was going out and took the bus there.

When I arrived, Midoriya was taking a few pills but I thought nothing of it. It was probably vitamins. He quickly put them away when he saw me, then waved me over with that dumb smile on his face.

“Hi, Kacchan. How are you?” he asked.

“Eh, fine, I guess. You?” I answered. At this point, we’re just stalling the real reason we’re here today.

“Could be better. Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?”

“Sure. You believe that I proved myself to you.”

“Yeah. I’m willing to forget about the past if you are. We’ll reset, in other words. This time, however, it’ll be without the bullying, the name-calling, and the backstabbing, deal?” His face remained neutral but his eyes begged for this. He wanted me to be the person from the good parts of his childhood again. No, it’s more than want; he needs me. Though he may have Iida, Uraraka, and Todoroki, they didn’t know him at his worst. I did, mainly because I added to it.

“I accept.”

And like magic, we started over right then and there.

“Hello, I’m Midoriya Izuku, but call me Izuku. Pleased to meet you,” he greets with a usually cheery smile. We really are starting all over then, huh? I agreed so I better go along.

“I’m Bakugou Katsuki. Call me whatever the fuck you want. Do like coffee or tea more?” I asked.

“A green tea, thanks. I drink coffee solely for the purpose of energy. It’s disgusting. It tastes like a fruit gone rotten to the point where the fruit is gone. That’s an exaggeration but you get it!” Izuku laughs softly. I buy him his green tea and get a black coffee for myself. He makes a face at me when I tell him what I got for myself. I truly laughed for the first time in a while.

“What do you like to do, Kac— Um, is it alright if I call you Kacchan? If you don’t, that’s ok,” Izuku mumbled.

“You could call me something weird like dandelion and I wouldn’t care,” I tell him.

“Ok! You’re Dandelion now!”

I spit out the coffee I was drinking. “I-I was joking! It was an example! Please don’t call me that near my friends…”

Izuku laughs at how nervous I am. “I’ll just call you Kacchan then. Or maybe Lion or Dandy. Oh, Dandy! I like that!” He throws a sugar packet at me. “You’re so serious, Dandelion.”

I opened up my coffee cup and poured a bit into Izuku’s tea. He gasps loudly. “Well shit. My bad,” I say with a smirk.

“That’s mean! I was thirsty!” he complains.

“Then drink it. Use sugar or cinnamon or creamer to tone down the coffee flavor, if you want,” I suggest.

While he pouts, I try to remove as much coffee taste as possible with only sugar packets, cinnamon sticks, and five different creamer flavors (hazelnut, French vanilla, milk, chocolate, and strawberry, for those who care). Eventually, I got a brown liquid that didn’t resemble coffee, tea, or anything anyone should consume. I showed it to Izuku and his eyes lit up.

“Finally! A drink to match my soul.” Then he took a large gulp only to spit it everywhere afterward. “That was awful! It tasted like milky, really watered down, chocolate strawberry coffee. In other words, like something you’d make.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, fuck you. Anyway, you were asking me a question before your tea rudely interrupted. What was it?”

“Oh, yeah! What do you like to do for fun?”

Fun? I know the meaning of the word but don’t remember having it. “That’s when you smile and laugh or just enjoy yourself, right?”

Izuku gasped. “Dandelion! Do you not know what fun is?” He said this like it was a crime.

I was a little scared to answer. “Uh…No? Being angry is kind of my thing. If I was seen smiling and having fun and shit like that, I would be fucking murdered.”

“Not by your new friends, you won’t. They respect you! I promise that it’ll be ok. Come on, I’m taking you to the arcade.” Izuku stood up and began cleaning up the table.

I joined him and said, “This is 2023, not 1980, Izuku.”

He looked me dead in the eyes. “Do I look like I give a damn, Dandy? My mom taught me to be open-minded about all eras so I went to the vintage arcade. It turned out to be really fun. My mom said that she loved to go to them when she was a kid. We used to go together before…”

“It’s ok. I’m sorry. We can just go somewhere else?” I offered so Izuku didn’t have to talk about his mom anymore that he just did.

“No, no. We’re going and you won’t regret this. I will crush you at Pac-Man and Galaga!” he looked so happy that I agreed.

Upon arrival, I noticed a surprising about of people our age. It’s like vintage was the new modern for some. I even noticed someone from school.

If possible, Izuku smiled even bigger. He turned to me and said, “This will be the best! Todoroki is an expert at arcade games!” Then he catches Todoroki’s eye and waves him over. Behind him is a woman who looks similar to him. “Todoroki! Kacchan doesn’t know what fun is so I’m going to show him. Do you want to help? Also, who’s that?”

“Hello, Midoriya and Bakugou. This is my sister Fuyami. We were visiting our mom earlier and decided to unwind and come here. I guess we’ll join you since we’re here.”

I swear you could kill a hundred people in front of him or even die and he wouldn’t change his emotion.

Izuku pumps his fist into the air and pulls me over to the game called Pac-Man. It was obviously one of his favorites. He hands me a couple of coins.

“What the hell is this for? Do you want a fucking snack?” I asked, completely serious. The others burst out laughing, exception Todoroki, who just smiled a little.

The one called Fuyami spoke. “So you have the coins, yes? Do you see the little slot on the front of the machine? Put the coins in there.”

I did as I was told. “Now what?”

“Do you see the yellow ‘start’ button? Press it then grab the joystick. Once you hear the music start, move the yellow pie and eat the white dots. Make sure to avoid the colorful ghosts because they cause you to lose a life. You only have three. The big white dots turn the ghosts blue and you’re able to eat them for extra points then. If you see a fruit, eat it. Does that make sense?”

I nodded and went over the instructions she gave me. I pressed the start button and began making the little yellow shit eat white dots. It was actually kind of fun. A cherry appeared on screen so I began moving the yellow thing to it, not really paying attention to the things around it. Then, Izuku and Fuyami began yelling at me to turn around. One of the little blobs was coming right for me. I didn’t move fast enough and lost a life.

“That’s ok. You have two more. You can do this, Kacchan!” Izuku yelled. I smiled to myself and began again.

After that first failure, I began to get the hang of it. I finished up the first level in no time. The second and third level went even quicker. Izuku cheered me on.

Before we knew it, I was on level 50. A small crowd had gathered around me at this point. They all cheered me on despite not knowing my name. It was exhilarating. It was…fun. I did my best for all of these strangers but mostly for this small, green-haired boy right next to me.

I had reached level 114 very quickly. I had only one life left at this point but it didn’t fucking slow me down. I wonder if this was how arcades were forty years ago?

Izuku was bouncing up and down as I progressed further. He was happier than I was. I found the thought comforting.

I was nearing the final level when something went terribly, horribly wrong. I don’t know if it was the excitement or something else entirely, but Izuku collapsed. The people gathered around me looked very concerned. I yelled for Todoroki to call an ambulance. The background dissolved into nothingness as I panicked and tried to find out what could’ve gone wrong. Maybe it was the pills from earlier. Did they do something to his insides? Or was it an existing condition? Whatever it was, I hated it and it needed to die.

I convinced the EMTs to let me go to the hospital with Izuku because his mom was dead and his dad had disappeared years ago. I couldn’t focus the whole way there. I was too busy worrying about Izuku and what might happen. I tried asking an EMT what was wrong with him but they wouldn’t listen to me. I decided to call my mother instead.

“What?” she answered with.

“It’s Izuku. He collapsed while we were at that old arcade. I’m in the ambulance going to the hospital with him now. I might not be home for awhile,” I explained.

There was silence for a while. “I’m joining you there. Izuku is like a second son to me and I haven’t seen him since Inko died. I’ll meet you there, Katsuki,” she said before hanging up. Well, I didn’t plan for her to come, but if she wants to, that’s fine. I don’t really care.

When we arrived, there was chaos. I remember being told to sit in the waiting room, so I did. At some point, my mom arrived. One of the teachers from the school did as well. He is like a hero to us so the school dubbed him ‘All Might’ (after a famous comic book character). I don’t think anyone knows his real name.

I felt the presence of someone near me so I looked up. It was All Might. He asked me, “Bakugou, was there anything that might have caused this? Even the smallest detail would help.”

I took a breath. “There was a lot of excitement before he passed out.” I hesitated on the next part. It wasn’t any of my business but this could mean more than I think. “I also saw him take some pills earlier today. I don’t know what kind or how many but they were in the orange prescription pill bottle. That’s all I can think of. Sorry…”

He pats me on my back. “Thank you. Midoriya is like a son to me and it would destroy me if he was to die. I’ll go tell the doctors what you told me.”

I’m left in silence after that. My mother sits near me but says nothing. What is there to say?

Hours pass with no information. I periodically ask for anything but they won’t say. They’re actually trying to find any of Izuku’s living relatives right now. I imagine it’s not easy. His mom’s dead, his dad’s gone, and he never mentioned any grandparents, aunts or uncles, cousins, or anyone else really. I expected that they would turn to either All Might or my mother next.

When night falls, there’s a glimmer of hope. A nurse approaches my mom and me and says, “We were unable to locate any remaining relatives of Midoriya Izuku. How close are the two of you to him?”

“Well, he came over to my home many times in his youth when his mom had to work. My son is a close friend of his from childhood to now,” my mom answers. The nurse nods in response and beckons for us to follow her.

She takes us to Izuku’s room and then tells us his condition. “He’s stable now. Midoriya collapsed from exhaustion. We’ve been running tests and found that he has a form of—” A buzzer sounded at this moment. “Excuse me,” she says before rushing into the room.

“Well, that fucking blows,” my mom states.

“That Izuku is waking up?” I questioned, looking at her, puzzled.

“What? No. That she didn’t get to tell what’s wrong with Izuku.”

“Actually, I don’t think that he wants anyone to know. When I saw him taking pills earlier, he hid them when he noticed me. I don’t think he wants anyone to worry about him.”

“The boy is so nice, I’ll believe that. Oh, yeah. Isn’t his next piano thingy in a couple of weeks?”

The thought had completely left me. Izuku loves the piano and I know that he’s hate to miss this. “I forgot. I’m sure he’ll be fine by then. The preliminary is over and he’s going directly to the semi-finals because of how he ranked.”

The nurse exits the room now. She looks at me. “Midoriya would like to talk to you.”

I enter the room not knowing what to expect. Would he be mad at me? Sad? Have tubes coming out of his body?

“Dandelion!” Izuku says as soon as I close the door behind me. He’s sitting up in bed with a wide grin on his face. Seeing him like this makes me happy and my heart dance.

“You fucking scared me, you piece of shit!” I half-yell while walking over to him.

Izuku laughs. “Whoops! Guess that was a bit too much excitement, huh?”

“Hey, I was winning and you decided to steal my spotlight, fucker,” I replied with a smirk.

“Eh, fair enough. So are you just gonna keep standing there or can I kiss you? I’m sure you feel the tension as much as I do.”

I wasn’t even thinking about it until he mentioned it. I could feel it. Ever since we were young, I had felt that I liked him a bit differently than I liked other people. I was young, so I didn’t think much of it. When I really turned against him in middle school, I partially did it because I found out why I felt so weird around him. I liked him. I hated myself for it. The people I was around condemned that sort of thing so I thought I was doing something bad. I repressed my feelings for Izuku for a few years. Then, all of a sudden, we were having drinks at a café and my feelings came back stronger than ever, yet I still repressed them. And now we’re here, in a hospital room, facing a huge decision.

Do I risk the awkward moments afterward or not agree and never mention this again? What does Izuku want? What do I want? What do we want?

Izuku patiently waits for my answer. It’s not like he’ll be leaving anytime today. I carefully think over the pros and cons of both choices. I decide that one has very little compared to the other. I approach him.

Now, before I do this, let me say that I have a lot to risk and a lot to gain from this. It could be either the best or worst moment in my life but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

I reach the side of Izuku’s bed and grab his hand. He knows my choice and smiles. I choose him. I lean closer and—

“Midoriya! Are you ok? We— Bakugou? What are you doing here?” It’s Uraraka, Iida, and Todoroki, of-fucking-course. Can’t the universe let me have one moment without fucking it up?

I jump back and act like we were just having a nice discussion before they came barging in. “Hello, have you heard of, um, fucking knocking?” I yelled.

“I told you it would be rude to rush in, Uraraka!” Iida said.

She scratches the back of her neck. “Well, uh, I thought it’d be a fun surprise! And…um…surprise?” Todoroki throws confetti from God knows where.

“Thank you! I love this! My best friends are all here! But knock next time, ok?” Izuku smiles to show that he is unbothered. I immediately feel uncomfortable. These people aren’t my friends. I don’t know shit about them. I begin walking to the door to give the four privacy. Izuku is the only one who would want me there, anyway.

“Dandy? Where are you going? Do you have to be somewhere?”

“Sort of, but—” I start saying.

“Let him go, Midoriya. He’s an ass,” Iida announced.

I look back at Midoriya. His eyes plead for me to stay but I know I can’t. I’m no longer welcome. The only one of them who may have stood up for me alongside Izuku is Todoroki because he saw how I was earlier, but he stayed out of it.

“I’ll text you later,” I said before leaving and shutting the door behind me. There’s only silence as I walk home.

I don’t bother texting him later, either. I had my chance and I blew it. It wouldn’t be easy to explain what happened to Izuku. I don’t go to school Friday and stay home all throughout the weekend. I get many texts from my friends and a few from Midoriya but I don’t look at any of them.

My mom enters my room. “You can’t stay here forever, Katsuki.”

“Watch me,” I mumbled.

“It’s Sunday afternoon for Christ’s sake! You’ve been in here since Thursday evening and only left to use the toilet. You’re losing a bit of weight! I’m actually worried about you.”

“Thanks for caring, but can I please go back to isolating myself?”

“A few of your friends have come by asking for you. I told them that you were sick. You were even left a flower with a note.”

The flower part caught my attention. “Let me see,” I say. The only person who would give me a flower would be either Mina or Kaminari, both as a joke. She hands me the flower and note.

It’s the kind of flower, or weed, that catches my eye. It’s a dandelion. I unfold the note next. It reads as follows:

‘Dear Dandelion,

I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable at the hospital. Todoroki and I scolded Iida and Uraraka for their behavior. They apologized, but I know that it means very little to you.

I don’t know your mind as well as I would like to. You’ve changed since we were kids. We’ve both gone through a lot. I know you don’t do well around people and I should’ve made my friends realize that and given us our privacy. You left before I could go with you. I was discharged two hours after you left. I was mad at my friends for ruining what could have very well been the end of our beginning.

I’ve been texting you to try and go out on a date but you didn’t respond. Honestly, I got worried. I love my new friends and all but I’ve known you longer. If something were to happen to you, I might die. And I mean that in a literal sense.

Speaking of death, that nurse didn’t tell you about me, did she? I asked the hospital long ago not to tell my condition to anyone without my approval. I know that you know that something is wrong with me at this point. You saw me taking pills and saw me pass out. Those aren’t the actions of a healthy person. I would tell you but I hate to have people feel sorry for me. When my mom found out, she began spoiling me. Remember when I got a new game console? That’s why.

I’m writing a second letter to you that explains everything I’ve just told you in detail and other things. I hope you never have to read it.

Sincerely, Izuku Midoriya

P.S. I’ll be at the café at three pm on Sunday. If you don’t want to come, I won’t make you.

Three pm was thirty minutes ago! If I’m going to go, I better go now. I quickly change into a t-shirt and jeans and begin running to the café. If I’m lucky, I’ll make it before Izuku leaves. I’ll be there in about eight minutes at the rate I’m currently running at. I just hope that Izuku decided to wait an hour for me.

It’s nearly four when I arrive. I search the building for Izuku. When I don’t see him, I ask the barista if they’ve seen him and she said that he left ten minutes ago. I thank her and begin running to Izuku’s house (the only reason he still leaves there and not a foster home is because he lies about his dad).

When I get there, I frantically knock on the door. It wasn’t Izuku who answered, it was Uraraka.

“Oh! Hi. I thought you were Iida. We’re having a study session and… never mind. Um, come in!” she greets. I shove my way past her and run up to Izuku’s room. I swing open the door and he’s sitting on his bed. I let out a sigh of relief.

“Dandelion! You’re here!” he exclaims with a large grin. “I thought you died.”

I laugh nervously. “I’m fine now. I had just gotten really bad anxiety after the hospital. I got your note at 3:30.”

“I’m so sorry! Was it my fault? I should’ve been more considerate of your feelings before asking—”

I cut him off with a long overdue kiss and in that moment, everything was perfect. The world was made just for us. Izuku wasn’t sick, I never bullied him, and his mom never died. You know people always describe first kisses with someone is like fireworks? Yeah, fuck that. This was like the part on a roller coaster drops you: exhilarating, a little scary,.  but a lot of fun.

When I pulled away, I heard a familiar, commanding voice and a very feminine giggle. Izuku looked at the door and laughed. I turned to confirm my suspicions.

“It was Uraraka’s fault! She told me that we should check up on you but then she noticed your moment and watched! I apologize,” says Robot Nerd aka Iida.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I guess. But how could I not watch? You both looked so happy and peaceful and in love! I was going to take a picture to show your grandkids, but Iida said no,” Uraraka says with a pout.

This time, I don’t feel uncomfortable. Izuku can tell. He smiles at me and I smile back.

-· Oh, how the good die young ·-

It’s the day of Izuku’s next piano contest-recital-thingy. He’s going to play one of Bach’s musical things along with everyone else there. He told me that he wouldn’t play it as his story but instead, he would play for me. Nice things like this made me forget that Izuku would die one day.

Izuku put more emotion into this performance than his last one yet it was much more peaceful. The last one was the ocean but this one is a lake. This was tiring him out though. He was sweating and struggling to stay in tune but he managed. Watching was like magic.

When everything was done, I met with him in the foyer. Somehow, Izuku wasn’t as happy this time. He appeared scared. When I get near him, he hugs me tightly.

“I can’t do this, Dandelion! Toward the end, I thought I was going to pass out. The doctors gave me a brand new medication but it’s worse,” he says. When he looks up at me, tears are falling down his face.

“What? You were fine a few weeks ago!” I exclaim.

“That was before the collapse. Please, I... I don’t want to say anymore. I can’t have you feeling sorry for me as my mom had. It’s not good for you.”

“Ok. Alright. I just want us to be happy in the time we have.”

And we were.

Dear Bakugou Katsuki (aka Dandelion!!),

How are you? Probably not the best if you’re seeing this, I guess. I hope we had many good memories and I hope you keep them alive. I know that we had a rough history and that’s ok. We broke past that and into the future.

The best possibility is that you never read this and I’m cured. However, I know that can’t happen. The survival rate for what I have isn’t very high. I have (or had) terminal brain cancer. You probably wonder why I never had chemotherapy. Well, I did and was sick for days afterward. They didn’t do it again. I’ve passed out in the past, just never in front of a crowd. I know most of my nurses and doctors by name. That’s how often I go. There. That’s my sickness.

I wish I could’ve stayed with you longer. You’ve made me both the happiest and saddest person on Earth. Earth… This calls for a space analogy!

There are stars, galaxies, nebulas, planets, black holes, solar systems, and all kinds of things we don’t know about. I think of you as a nebula— beautiful, definitely dangerous, but a place for growing up and change. I consider myself a star— also beautiful but only from far away. Up close, you see that I’m dead. However, stars are “born” in nebulas. Before I met you, and I mean really met you, I was lost. I didn’t have a clue what to do with my life. Then, you changed that. You helped me feel normal again, if only for a short time. Remember the arcade? I hadn’t ever felt that alive.

Though we don’t have a future, we do have a past. We’ve laughed and cried together. I happen to find this nice. The future is a scary place full of many uncertainties; the past is forever. No one can ever take away our memories. Whenever you miss me or feel sad, think of those days. Don’t let them fade into nothingness. Keep them alive and I’ll never truly die. It’s like when people say that you’re never truly dead until you’re forgotten. I believe in that.

I don’t know what you’re going to do with your future. Maybe you’ll become someone who studies cancer or a father. Whatever you do, know that I support you all the way. I do ask one thing of you: live. I don’t mean “stay alive”, I mean live. Live each day as if it’s your last. Leave behind no regrets. Cause chaos, save people, party, enjoy yourself. Just live! That’s my one regret. I spent all my time in self-pity and the piano when I could have been just forgetting my sickness and living. You don’t have to do this!

Don’t let my legacy die and yours stop from existing.

Love, Izuku Midoriya  

https://youtu.be/Wpv-vGScrvU

[jeffpackswasyes]

Answer them all

1. 3 Fears - open spaces, getting kidnapped and tortured, uhh spiders but spiders are kinda dope now

2. 3 Things I love - Music, girls, animals/nature

3. 2 Turn ons - Lip biting, being wanted in return

4. 2 Turn offs - Manipulative behavior, arrogance

5. My best friend - Regan for sure

6. Sexual Orientation - Straight

7. How tall am I? - Like 6ft tall

8. What do I miss right now - My friend Scott who moved away :(

9. Favorite color - Teal

10. Do I have a crush - I don’t think so

11. Favorite place - My apartment

12. What am I listening to right now? - Modest Mouse is on right now (The Lonesome Crowded West is a fantastic album) 

13. Shoe Size - 11

14. Eye Color - Green

15. Hair Color - idk is that like brown or blonde or what. dirty blonde maybe

16. Meaning behind my URL - Dumb pun that I would tell my friend Jeff every time Jetpacks Was Yes! came on

17. Favorite Song - Lmao there are way too many songs

18. Favorite Band - The Dear Hunter!!!

19. How I feel right now - Tired and lazy and mopey

20. Someone I love - my bff regan is an angel

21. My current relationship status - Single as heck

22. My relationship with my parents - My dad and I are on pretty good terms, don’t care for my mom

23. Favorite Season - Autumn of course

24. Tattoos and piercings I have - NONE cause I’m a broke bitch

25. Tattoos and piercings I want - I could go on and on about the tattoos I want all over my body but I’m not gonna do that here. I only want one piercing, a nose ring. 

26. The reasons I joined tumblr - There is cool shit on here and it’s good to browse when you are high 

27. Do I ever get good morning texts or good night texts? - sort of? I only text one person

28. Have I kissed the last person I texted? No but I’m workin on it

29. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Like 6 minutes

30. Have you shaved your legs in the past 3 days? - Nope

31. Where am I right now? - In my bedroom

32. Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - When my roommate isn’t home I play my music loud af

33. Do I live with my mom and dad? - No

34. Am I excited for anything? - Damn, not really

35. Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - Definitely 

36. How often do I wear a fake smile? - Often 

37. If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Maybe Casey Crescenzo I really don’t know

38. What do I think about most? - Probably music

39. Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Definitely behind it

40. What was the last lie I told? - “Nah everything is cool dad” 

41. Do I prefer talking on the phone, or video chat? - Phone

42. Do I believe in ghosts? Aliens? - Aliens exist, and I’m convinced ghosts or some sort of spirit entity is out there

43. Do I believe in magic? - Somewhat yes actually, still on the fence about it

44. Do I believe in luck? - I like to think that the universe looks out for some people, whether or not that is “luck”, I’m not sure

45. What’s the weather like right now? - It’s like 85 degrees and sunny out

46. What was the last book I read? - I’m in the middle of Game of Thrones right now and yes, it is fantastic

47. Do I have any nicknames? - I go by James, my middle name so I guess that counts

48. Do I spend money or save it? - I need to be a little more careful with my money I spend so much

49. Can I touch my nose with a tounge? - I’m sure I can touch it with A tongue, but not my tongue

50. Favorite animal? - Damn this a tough one. A sloth? A bear? Deer? Mantis Shrimp? 

51. What was I doing last night at 12 am? Smoking and watching Bojack Horseman

52. What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Mr Blue Sky by ELO, no contest

53. What is my favorite word? - Honestly fuck this question 

54. My top 5 blogs on tumblr - They are all good I can’t rate them

55. If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - uhh please stop killing each other 

56. Do I have any relatives in jail? - Nope not that I know of

57. What is my current desktop background? - Overwatch shit

58. Had sex? - Nope

59. Bought condoms? - Who needs em! /s

60. Gotten pregnant? - God I hope not

61. Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - Yes

62. Had a job? - Yes

63. Smoked weed? - Too much, gotta chill on it 

64. Smoked cigarettes? - Yeah

65. Drank Alcohol? - Yes

66. Am I vegetarian/vegan? - Nope

67. Been overweight? - No I’m skinny af

68. Been underweight? - Definitely

69. Gotten my heart broken? - I wouldn’t classify it as heartbreak

70. Been to prom? - Nah, not my thing

71. Been in an airplane? - Nope :( 

72. Learned another language? - Not fluently

73. Wore make up? - I have not, but wouldn’t be opposed

74. Dyed my hair? - Yep, I really wanna die it again

75. Had a surgery? - Nope, I’ve had stitches though

76. Met someone famous? - Never

77. Stalked someone on social media? - Nope

78. Been fishing? - A couple of times

79. Been rejected by a crush? - I didn’t have a lot of crushes so no

80. What do I want for my birthday? - A livable income 

81. Do I like my handwriting? - Yeah, I don’t hate it I guess

82. Where do I want to live when I’m older? - Probably somewhere in Europe

83. Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing something bad? - I got caught doing LSD a few years ago

84. What I’m really bad at? - I’m not the best with my words, bad writer and bad conversationalist

85. What my greatest achievements are - ...uhhh Sean and I wrote an album last summer and it was pretty dope but it never got rerecorded and released so does that even count

86. The meanest thing somebody has ever said to you? - I don’t remember off the top of my head

87. What I’d do if I won the lottery - Go visit Regan and get us out of our shitty towns 

88. What do I like about myself? - My hair, my hands

89. My closest tumblr friend  - damn that is a good question

90. Any question you’d like? - What, i only answer the questions fuck this 

91. Are you outgoing or shy? - Definitely shy

92. What kind of people are you attracted to? - The kind that I can click with and talk to and have fun with 

93. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - Nope

94. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - Nah, it is a very interesting subject

95. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - Last night with my friend Cody about this life being a simulation 

96. What does the most recent text you sent say? - “right, fuck you james”

97. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - Damn gimme a few minutes to look 

Cowboy Dan - Modest Mouse

The Old Haunt - The Dear Hunter

None Shall Pass - Aesop Rock

Absolomb - Periphery 

Open Up - Dispatch 

98. Do you like it when people play with your hair? - Yes I love it

99. Do you think there is life on other planets? - There’s gotta be 

100. Do you like bubble baths? - I haven’t taken a bubble bath in years so idk

101. Do you like your neighbors? - Most of them

102. Where would you like to travel? - I wanna travel everything but that is vague and generic so I’ll say Innsbruck, Austria. The name means Inn by the River and it is a cute magical looking town

103. Favorite part of your daily routine? - I don’t have a daily routine but I play overwatch everyday so i”m gonna say it’s that

104. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - Probably my skinny fucking legs 

105. What do you when you wake up? - Lately I’ve been reading a chapter and smoking a bowl  

106. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - I’ve never really thought about it tbh

107. Do you ever want to get married? - I mean not particularly but if my partner wants to get married then yeah sure 

108. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail? - Yep

109. Would you rather live without TV or music? - TV, duh

110. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - Probably

111. What are your favorite stores to shop in? - There’s a bunch of thrift stores in this town so those are always pretty neat

112. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - Yes

113. Do you smile at strangers? - Sometimes

114. Have you done anything recently that you hope no one finds about? - Nope, I’m clean

115. Ever wished you were someone else? - All the time

116. Favorite makeup brand? - Sephora, BH Cosmestics, idrk

117. Last thing you ate? - Cereal 

118. Ever won a competition? - Nope

119. Ever been in love? - Yeah

120. Facebook or Twitter? - Neither, but you can follow my insta @jeffpackswasyes ;)

121. Twitter or Tumblr? - Definitely  tumblr

122. Are you watching TV right now? - Nope

123. What color are your towels? - Mostly white, I have a blue one though

124. Favorite ice cream flavor? - Vanilla, cookies and cream

125. First person you talked to today? - Regan or Cody

126. Last person you talked to today? - Regan

127. Name a person you hate? - The guy who made the kid put his laptop in the oven on twitch. 

128. Name a person you love? - My bff Regan!!

129. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - Nah

130. Do you tan a lot? - Nope

131. Have any pets? - None of my own, none in my apartment

132. Do you type fast? - Yes

133. Do you regret anything from your past? - I try to let go of any regrets, still trying to let go of some. But I’ll get there

134. Ever broken someone’s heart? - Yes

135. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt? - Lmao yeah 

136. Is cheating ever okay? - No, but I do think that it is forgivable, depending on the situation of course.

137. Do you believe in true love? - What is TRUE love? Love is just love, we don’t understand it

138. What’s your zodiac sign? - Cancer

139. Do you believe in ghosts? - This question is on here twice, very suspicious

140. Get the closest book to you and open it page 42. What is the first line? - Egyptian Wheels and Dimensional Travel  

[daehwi]

I saw you're last ask, and I know about Nu'esT getting screwed over. But was Topp Dogg too? Is that why A-Tom is on P101? I always thought Topp Dogg was rather successful so I was kind of confused as to why A-Tom was demoted to trainee and put on the show.

First, I’m really sorry I took forever to get to this ;__;

I followed Topp Dogg when they debuted partly because Nakta was on MyDol with the now VIXX members and I had a soft spot for him. I haven’t followed them super closely recently, but I kept up enough to have seen how much Stardom messed up. Topp Dogg could be worse off I gues?? they could still be under Stardom, but they’re definitely still “nugu” in Korea. They are no longer in Stardom, though, thank god. They’re solely with Hunus now, but I don’t think they’ve been doing too well there, either (if anyone has info otherwise, though, let me know).

Some things about Stardom in general (and how shitty they are jesus christ):

Block B used to be under Stardom but filed a lawsuit against them.

The lawsuit included not being paid for almost a year.

The then-CEO (Mr. Lee) disappeared w/ 70,000,000 won (around $60,000) that he collected from Block B’s parents.

Then the then-CEO committed suicide.  

Block B did not win the lawsuit but managed to transfer their rights from Stardom to their current label Seven Seasons.

Here a couple of things that stood out to me from Topp Dogg’s time under Stardom:

Their fansigns were done with lottery from the start- not first come, first serve. A fan has to buy more than 1 album to hopefully get picked instead of just buying 1 album and signing up early. This can discourage fans that may not be fully loyal yet, so only groups that are confident in their selling power and fan loyalty do this. 

Their first concert was cancelled and rescheduled because they couldn’t sell enough tickets to cover the fee of the initial venue. Japanese fans were offered an “exclusive” fan meeting if they paid more but the fan meeting ended up being for everyone at the concert.

Stardom often failed to announce when promotions were ending and cancelled fan meetings without rescheduling from time to time. 

They struggled to fill 100 people fansigns (partly because of their lottery system).

It’s rumored that Stardom forced members to have plastic surgery.

They held showcases in other countries where they weren’t paid for performing.

Some of the fansigns allowed fans to do questionable things like raffling away dates with the boys.

They’ve failed to give explanations when members injured themselves (Seogoong injured his leg but no explanation; Sangdo hurt his leg, too but no explanation)

Stardom tried to hold an international tour in 2015. Stardom agreed to allow Topp Dogg to perform for free but then changed their minds so plans fell through.

For the rest of 2015 Topp Dogg did basically nothing until the end of the year when they released their 4th mini album.

Also in 2015, Stardom merged with Hunus 

In 2016, P-Goon made a post demanding Cho PD (the founder of the company btw) to tell the truth about stealing money Topp Dogg made from performances.

They had a long hiatus for most of 2016 with almost no activities so a lot of fans left. 

They released their first full album at the end of 2016 but it had very little promotion. 

Several members have left: Seogoong left to go to the Under Dogg subunit after disappearing for months. Kidoh and Gohn tried to file lawsuits against Hunus, Jemissi left last year. 

An ex-member (Leon)of Top Dog G (which was (is?) a combo of Topp Dogg and Under Dogg which performed in China a bit) talked on Insta about abuse he suffered in Stardom. 

Some members were also promised solos if they signed the contracts (Kidoh, Gohn) but the solos were not well funded or didn’t happen at all, I think. Kidoh’s album wasn’t even promoted on music shows.

There’s probably a lot more that I’m not remembering so any fans let me know if I got anything wrong and/or missed anything big. They’ve also mismanaged EvoL to the point of disbandment but I don’t know enough about that to fully explain without worrying I’ll explain something wrong.

Most of the mismanagement stems from the fact that they tried to make Topp Dogg seem really popular instead of focusing on actually getting them popular. Also Stardom is really shady with not paying their artists. They also focused a lot on international promotions when they should have focused on domestic promotions because it’s the Korean fans that help a group stay stable/rise.

I know this year they’ve been on hiatus at the start of the year but there are a few members doing performances together so maybe this is a sign they’ll be active again? I’m not sure if Hunus has made a statement of Sanggyun’s status in the group recently, but the initial reports called him an ex-member who has withdrawn from the group. I hope it means that for the purpose of the show he’s not a member but should return once it’s done (like the MBK girls did in Season 1). So he’s in that weird limbo that the Nu’est (ex)members are also in. 

Sanggyun has gained some fans so hopefully that helps out when (if?) he rejoins Topp Dogg (although rip he’s not doing too well in votes despite being a good rapper, super good looking, charismatic, and a sweet fluff)