#dexterity bonus

[celeryman6]

Sipher: a fallen knight, now killing for money... and the thrill. high res versions up on my Patreon!

[grinchwrapsupreme]

the dexter franchise did a lot of fucked up stuff but nothing surpasses harrison dating the daughter of the woman dexter is dating and all of them acting like its normal

[daydream-corpse]

Mind and body You belong to me

[sysig]

Everything falls into place so nicely when they’re together (Patreon)

[sharkface-daydreams]

"You sure you want to eat those? I don't think they count as food anymore."

"I mean they look like shit, but they're really not that bad. Kind of like you."

"... thanks, Grif."

* * *

Merry (very belated!!) Christmas @tantaliart !! I was your Santa for @redvsbluesecretsanta ^^ I kinda got sick twice after we got our assignments but I wanted this to be nice so I hope you didn't mind the wait :)

You asked for Temple and Grif at Christmas so i thought it might be fun if Temple tries to deal with his Biff-related depression by making his friend's favorite Christmas cookies.... and failing badly. Grif doesn't seem to mind. (We, uh, we won't talk about the state he left the kitchen in. 😓 Sarge is trying to fix the stove but they'll probably have to get a new one...)

[cthulhusstepmom]

So we've delved the depths of the "Ghost is a serial killer and Soap is the detective on his case" and I love that truly truly I do.

However....

I want to see Soap with a true crime podcast independently investigating unsolved cases. Let him be stupid and reckless and make Gaz his coworker in his normal day job that tells him "going after a serial killer is a bad fucking idea Soap, fucking hell mate". Soap snapped and humiliated an MP in CANON not even in HC, of course he'd love to put all the pieces together to shove it in the face of the local police department. Maybe he's buddy buddy with one of their detectives, Graves, sees him as a decent dude in the wrong profession. Maybe the police chief Shepherd is starting to get sick of him poking around and showing them up. Laswell could be a dispatcher who helps Soap out from time to time, or another podcaster that talks on inequality and feminism and they will occasionally have each other as guests. Price could be his manager at work or maybe he's also on Kate's podcast.

Of course Ghost is still a serial killer (I love maladjusted, creepy little guy Ghost sue me). He finds Soap's podcast, maybe he's a long time listener, maybe he finds it satisfying to find someone so smart and dedicated, maybe he enjoys Soap's scathing commentary on the methods of other killers and the police alike. He gets a little obsessed when what oh my gosh who knew his favorite podcaster works at his local library/coffee shop/restaurant/grocery store and he makes that contact, he watches and stalks, he thinks about killing Soap, but that would be disappointing. So he doesn't. They go on a date yada yada, Ghost starts making kills and taunting Soap to hunt him down which pisses off Graves because that's his case wtf why isn't he getting taunted? Etc etc "alone" etc etc happy ever after.

I would like that please someone write it so I don't have to. (I still might we'll see)

[cryptidofthekeys]

had an idea rolling around in my head for the last few days this is,, mostly joking but lmao who knows, maybe someone is already doing this too maybe someone had the big brain before me

imagine if someone like,, fuckin made a Bob ukagaka ghost or a shimeji, something along those lines (I think a ukagaka ghost can do a HELL of a lot more than a shimeji tho) just a big ol lad runnin around on your desktop, giving you questionable did you know facts, just a lad you can chill with

...of course anyone could add some proper spooky stuff ...ya know, as a treat lmao idk what it’d be but just make him a l i l scary, spice it up hfjkdljfdsk idk I just had that idea for awhile

just a funny lil guy,, running around causing chaos n mischief on your desktop,, giving you some spooky facts, doin spooky stuff, etc

[astairion]

I like to pretend that in my game Astarion does all the lock picking bc everyone else is just Morally against it and not because they’re all just ass it is compared to him

[trollbreak]

Do u KNOW that peipre’s purr is soso quiet and hard to hear BUT it’s so intense and hard to miss if ur touching her btw. Just a fun little fact

[im-just-kinda-here-k]

Reblog if you want a large amount of tendrils/tentacles

[intcthatgoodnight]

[grrl-operator]

Dexter - Fat Skinny Bonus (Clone Crown Ltd. 05)

[pseudowho]

Surely mister perfect dad-husband-lover Nanami babywears? I could see him in a big woven wrap, maybe one in the same pattern as his tie?

And once the baby is a toddler, tossing them on his back while they run errands about town?

Bonus: would Higuruma? I haven’t read the manga so I only really know of him and his traits via fandom…

Nanami Kento: He absolutely babywears 👏👏 I think he'd be into the reliability of a structured carrier myself, but would absolutely fall apart if Mrs.Nanami has one made with a bespoke, tie-matching pattern.

I think he'd also have a meticulously organised baby bag with snacks, outfit changes, medicine, etc. Truly, a prepared king. He finds it uniquely frustrating that most baby-change rooms are in women's only bathrooms.

I think he'd have a back carrier for a toddler, but he'd encourage them to walk as much as he could, wearing the carrier just in case. They'd get thrown on his back when he needs to carry stuff though. He'd check they're awake back there by doing the Reach Back and Offer Snack technique...if a little hand comes out to take the snack, they're awake 😌

He'd be talking to people while babywearing, his usual low, stern voice, and would randomly interject every now and then with his sweet dad voice to include the baby: "...so we intercepted the Curse on the second floor, and Ino managed to take it out. But you don't need to know about that, do you, sweetheart? No, nooooo. No scary monsters here, no there aren't..."

Talk too loudly by him while the baby's asleep on him, and you'll be met with a death glare, and a single, raised finger in threat; Mr.Nanami Kento, who can excuse murder, but draws the line at disturbing naps.

Higuruma Hiromi: While I HC Higuruma as child free by choice (I have written just one fic of Dad!Higuruma), I think he'd absolutely babywear through practicality, the guy's too busy to push a buggy. If he has to use a buggy one day, I picture him jogging this baby to daycare (because he's running late) while pushing this buggy. He drops his baby off, gives him a big kiss and hair ruffle...then runs back, because the baby's been holding onto his case notes for him, and he forgot them.

That baby would be his confidante; Higuruma would share case details and ask his baby's opinion ("...so the prosecution, think they've got the evidence they need, but they're clowns. They're clowns, aren't they? Aren't they darling? Yes they are..."), go to client meetings with the baby ("Look...I believe you, but my kid doesn't look convinced. Maybe try something more like..."), and use his baby as an excuse ("Ahhh I'm sorry, I can't make that client lunch actually? Why? Oh, me and my baby hate you I haven't got childcare for the afternoon, today.")

Higuruma's a big oral fixation guy, and a fidgeter (pen chewer, gavel twizzler, tie loosening...) and assumes his baby is too, so has a baby fiddle-clip for when he's babywearing (he likes a wrap sling-- he knows it looks sloppy, but he's a dexterous king and can tie one in 10 seconds flat). He may or may not have had a bespoke fiddle/teething clip made, with a little rubberised gavel on it for chewing.

He's one of those dads who feels sleepy when a baby naps on him. You'd find him, slumped back in his office chair, with a baby napping on his chest, while Hiromi snores away, head back and exhausted, a pen and paperwork still in his hand.

Mr.Haitch is a keen babywearer. I'm very into Strong Man Wears Baby as a thing 💀

-- Haitch xxx

[dropoutdottv]

This week on Dropout: on Tuesday, a new Dirty Laundry featuring @smosh cast members Shayne Topp, Spencer Agnew, Tommy Bowe, and Amanda Lehan-Canto; on Wednesday, a recap of Dimension 20: Misfits & Magic season 1 (ahead of the season 2 premiere, September 25th); on Thursday, the Glasgow recording of the live show of Dimension 20: Time Quangle; on Friday, the season finale of Monét's Slumber Party, with Adam Rippon, Dexter Mayfield, Grant O'Brien, Laci Mosley, Michael Henry, and Joel Kim Booster! (there will be a bonus 6th 'test' episode of Monét's Slumber Party in two weeks)

[vashs-turtleneck]

Nimble-fingered.

Rating: EXPLICIT (18+ ONLY) Summary: Vash is good with his hands. Like, really good with his hands. Pairing: Vash the Stampede x f!reader Word count: 2.6k Content: smut, finger riding, dirty talk, pwp, teasing Vash A/N: I like his hands what can I say. Barely proofread this so if there's mistakes my bad.

✧ [Bonus chapter] - if you want more

NSFW BELOW, 18+ ONLY, MDNI!

Vash has pretty hands.

His flesh hand is warm, his fingers long and talented, his palms calloused and large. His prosthetic is beautiful, cold and strong. When he touches you, the contrast between the two is exhilarating.

And Vash is very good with his hands.

You've seen firsthand the things he can do with them; How they handle everything they touch with a deliberate and deadly precision, be it his gun, the reigns of a thomas, you.

There's something so teasing about the way his glove covers his middle and ring fingers. Your mind wanders to the ways he uses those fingers, how they agile they are when he holds his gun, how downright dangerous they are when he has them curled so perfectly inside you that he has you seeing stars.

You've been staring at them all night, and Vash, being as observant and aware of you as he is, has taken notice.

"Mayfly, are you even listening to me?" He tilts his head down to meet your eyes, a soft pout on his face, and your gaze shoots away from his hands to look at him.

"S-Sorry! I'm a bit spacey today, I guess." You chuckle nervously, your gaze leaving him as you look around the tavern, trying to find something else to take your mind off all the dirty thoughts filling your head.

But the flush on your cheeks betrays you, your thighs absentmindedly clenching together, and Vash sees it instantly. You feel the fingers of his prosthetic cup your cheek, turning your head to face him again. The glare reflecting off his orange lens hides those pretty baby blues, but you already know he's staring right at you like a meal.

"Oh yeah? Is that what it is?" He says, a teasing grin splitting his handsome face. His cold fingers caress your cheek, gently coaxing your face closer to his. "So distracted you won't even listen to me?"

Your breath hitches, his fingers trailing to the tip of your chin and holding your face up towards his.

"How about I help you focus, hm? Keep your eyes on me."

Oh, you're in trouble.

_____________

Vash leans comfortably back against the small couch, the old, dusty material sagging around him from your combined weight. His legs are parted wide beneath you, giving you ample space to steady yourself as you straddle his thighs. You're flushed, breathless, cunt stuffed with two gloved and dexterous fingers as his prosthetic cradles your body, tracing your lines and your curves as you bounce yourself on his hand. Your hands grip the collar of his open jacket as you pump yourself full of his fingers, your thighs trembling from the pleasure and exertion.

You're splayed completely bare on him, your clothes scattered all over the floor, while he hasn't taken off so much as his glasses. His baby blues stare at you reverently, admiring the delicious view in front of him through tinted lenses. His only goal right now is to please you until you're completely spent and for you to give him the privilege of watching you come undone on his fingers.

Except, he's not moving his hand.

"Keep going, baby. Don't stop now." Vash purrs, watching as you eagerly fill yourself with his fingers over and over.

"V-Vash..." You mewl his name, your voice a little pathetic, breathy whimper. "P-Please, move your hand."

He looks up at you, tilting his head to the side with a playful smirk plastered on his face.

"Hm? But why? You're doing such a good job all on your own, mayfly." He coos.

Oh, he's being so teasing tonight.

You continue to bounce yourself on his lap, moving up and down on his long fingers. It feels so, so good. You're a blubbering, moaning mess in front of him, and he hasn't even given you his cock yet.

"That's it, just like that. Use my hand to feel good. You know I love watching you feel good." He purrs against your ear, planting soft kisses along the side of your face before leaning slightly back, making sure to get a good view of your cunt engulfing his fingers. His glove is completely soaked through, your slick dripping down the fabric and soaking his lap, where your juices mix with his own precum against the front of his pants.

You do know how much he loves watching you, taking in your pleasure like it's his own. That paired with how needy you are for him tonight has Vash's heart beating out of his chest with pure lust and a desire for you to feel good, to use him to make yourself come over and over.

"Mmph! Gripping my fingers so tight, sweetheart. Makes me wanna fill you up with something bigger." He groans, watching your pussy drool, your slick pooling on the tented fabric covering his hardened cock.

"Yes. Want you to. Please, want you to fill me up, Vash." Your hands leave his coat, fingers trailing down along his muscled frame, feeling him through his shirt before you start to hastily try to unbuckle his belt. But Vash is much faster than you, the nimble fingers of his prosthetic gently gripping both your wrists and pulling them away from his lap.

"Ah, ah. Not yet, mayfly. You'll have to be a bit more patient, okay?" He whispers with a breathy chuckle, bringing the wrists he has so delicately wrapped in his grasp to his lips, planting soft, almost apologetic kisses to them. You can feel him press his warm lips to your palms, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Vash! Please. I can't- I need-" He stifles your words with a deep kiss to your lips, and you can feel him smiling against you.

"I know. I'm sorry, sweetheart. You know I'll give you what you want. I always do. Just want to enjoy you like this for a little longer, alright?" He whispers sweetly, words so soft you almost wouldn't believe he was splitting you with his thick fingers right now.

Your breaths are heavy and shaky, becoming more labored as your move yourself faster and faster against him, eyes fluttering with pleasure. He lets go of your wrists, and you're quick to grasp his shoulders to steady yourself again. You're so embarrassed right now from how needy you are, how desperate you are for him to fill you to the brim with his thick cock, but when he's looking at you like you're the most delicious thing he's ever seen, eyes worshipping every inch of your naked form, you can only keep going. You can feel your pussy clench around his digits, the tight knot inside you getting ready to burst. Vash, being all too familiar with the look you adopt on your face when you get dangerously close, notices immediately.

"You gonna come all over my hand again, baby?"

With a whine, you turn your head away in embarrassment, your face a deep crimson at how quickly and easily you come undone with him. But just as quickly as you look away, he softly grabs your face and turns it back towards him, cold metal fingers on your cheeks.

"Eyes on me, mayfly. I wanna see you. You're so beautiful when you make yourself feel good." He whispers hoarsly before pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth. Despite his lewd words, there's not a hint of teasing in his voice.

His metal thumb traces your lips, and without a second thought, your lips part, taking the digit into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it. The sight makes Vash moan hoarsely, instinctively bucking his hips up against you and letting you feel just how much he's aching under his tented pants.

"F-Fuck, you're being naughty tonight, mayfly." He groans, gently pressing his thumb further into your mouth and down on your tongue, being careful not to push too far.

"Is this what you wanted? You couldn't keep your pretty eyes off my hands all day today, could you? Is this what you wanted me to do you?"

Now he's teasing, and it's making you flush an even deeper red, your moans and whines muffled by the finger in your mouth. Your voice quivers with want, your body trembling as you bounce yourself on his fingers, cunt sucking in his fingers, and it only makes Vash smile fondly at you while he plays with your tongue.

"Who would've thought my angel could be so dirty? You were so busy thinking about me stuffing this pretty pussy all day that you didn't even listen to a word I said, is that right? Is this what you were thinking about, mayfly?"

God, he's being so teasing, but you'd be lying if you pretended that that's not exactly what you were thinking about all day when you looked at him. Glassy eyed, you nod and whimper around his thumb, tongue lewdly lavishing the metal. "Mhmm..." You whine, eyes upturned into a wanting, desperate stare as you look back at him. The look on your face fills him with a sense of pride, a deep satisfaction at how well he handles your body.

"Then let me give you everything you want, angel." He coos as his finger leaves your mouth with a soft pop of your lips, fingers trailing along your jawline before moving lower, his wet thumb tracing your pulse point as he slowly moves down to your chest. You feel the cool metal knead one of your breasts, dwarfing it in his large palm. His thumb roughly rolls over your perked nipple before he gently pinches it, making you moan wantonly and dig your nails into the fabric covering his broad shoulders.

Fuck, he's playing your body like an instrument.

"Oh, you're so good. Being such a good girl. Gonna make you come on my fingers, mayfly. You can give me one more, can't you?"

"One more."

He said that last time.

And the time before that.

You're a panting, mewling mess. You can feel your juices dripping down your thighs, coating his warm and calloused hand. You feel like you're in a lovedrunk haze, and all you can focus on is the man beneath you and the pleasure he's teasing you with.

"Vash, please..." Your voice is whiny and broken, words barely understandable through your heavy gasps for breath, and Vash has never seen a more breathtaking sight.

With an adoring and almost innocent smile, he suddenly curls his fingers inside you, pressing against that spot he knows makes you howl with rapture, and a deep growl rumbles in his chest when you cry out and tighten your grip on his shoulders.

"So good. So amazing. Fuck, you're so beautiful. Can't get enough of you." He pulls you closer and groans against the shell of your ear, trailing his tongue along the space behind it before moving down to nibble at your neck.

He starts to finally, finally move his fingers, pumping them against your sweet spot in tandem with the rhythm of your hips. You moan out loudly as he takes you apart with talented fingers, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

"Mayfly..." His voice is soft and loving against your ear, yet it holds all your attention. When your eyes flutter to his, you see his eyes dart down to sopping cunt, and then back up to you, a gentle command for what he wants you to do, and you know him well enough to know what it is.

With a soft, embarrassed whine, one of your hands lets go of his shoulder. You bring your shaky fingers down your body to the apex of your sex, drawing circles over your neglected clit. Your eyes flutter closed, face flushing from the obscenity of the act, but you can't stop the high-pitched moans that leave your lips as curls his fingers even harder in response.

"That's it. Good girl. God, such a good girl, angel." He groans, staring down at your drooling sex as you play with yourself. He's being so indulgent tonight, yet he won't even let you touch him. He's just sat back and drowning in your pleasure, and he's loving every second of it.

"Keep making pretty sounds like that and I'm gonna come without so much as a touch, mayfly." He teases, his eyes drinking in the sight of you rubbing your sensitive little bud, moaning when he feels your hips start to stutter.

He moves his hand faster now, taking control of your pace. He pumps his fingers into you all the way down to his soaking knuckles with enough power to jolt you with every motion.

"C-Close, Vash. Gonna come, gonna come!"

At the feeling of your body quivering in his lap, Vash pinches your nipple again, thumb flicking over the perked bud. Like he can't help himself, he grinds his hips upwards against you in rhythm with his hand, pressing his aching cock against the plush of your thigh.

"Yes, yes, yes! Come, mayfly. Come on my fingers again for me."

Your eyes clench closed tightly, your breathing ragged and quivering. He has you in his complete control, quite literally in the palm of his hand as he meticulously and lovingly abuses every single one of your weak spots. He knows exactly what he's doing to you, and he's getting exactly what he wants.

"Vash!" You cry out his name in the throes of your climax, your back arching and pressing your bare breasts against his clothed chest, your cunt pulsing around his fingers, and Vash moans out obscenely along with you. His hips rut harshly up against you, hard enough that you can feel his pulsing length under the fabric before he stutters and stills, his own whimpers and gasps filling the air with yours.

Did... Did he just come?

Without you even touching him?

Your eyes open and fall to his lap, where you see the growing pool of fluids coat him. You can feel the warmth seeping against your thighs as his cum paints the inside of his pants and soaks the fabric.

"What'd I say, mayfly?" He whispers hoarsly, his voice trembling from the sheer intensity of his orgasm, those beautiful baby blues glassed over and his mouth tilted into a lazy grin in his lovedrunk euphoria. "Without so much as a touch."

Vash's movements soften, his fingers slowly pumping inside your pulsing heat just enough to help you ride out your own orgasm. He's groaning and panting, his own face flushed as he drinks in the lovely look of ecstacy contorting your face.

When your body relaxes, your cunt easing the tight grip on his fingers, he carefully and slowly pulls them out of you, groaning when he sees the strings of your slick that connect his fingers to your pulsing sex. He brings his soaked hand to his mouth, wrapping his lips around the clothed digits and sucks, drinking the fluids of your arousal from the fabric with a groan so deep it makes you shiver, not so much as blinking as his ravenous gaze eats you up. He growls at the taste of you, tongue eagerly swirling at the ring of cream formed at his knuckles.

"Mmmh... Taste so good, mayfly." He mumbles against his own fingers as he gorges himself on your slick. "So fucking good."

You're sat on his lap in silence, panting, chest heaving with every breath, completely enraptured by the vision in front of you. It's so lewd, yet so earnestly worshipping of your body.

When his gloved hand leaves his lips, his hungry stare rakes over your trembling form, and you feel his prosthetic wrap around the back of your head, pulling you into a wet, sloppy kiss. You can taste yourself against his mouth, as well as the taste of fabric from his glove.

As he keeps you there, his tongue teasing your bottom lip before exploring the warm channel of your mouth, you can feel the fingers of his gloved hand move back to their place between your thighs to trace your folds, gathering your slick on his fingertips. It makes you whimper into his mouth, causing him to groan deeply in response before parting from your lips.

"I think you've got one more in you, mayfly. You'll give me one more, won't you?"

"One more."

Oh, you're in trouble.

[the-griffons-saddlebag]

💎 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Starlight’s Reach
Wondrous item, very rare (requires attunement) ___ These long, silken gloves are dotted with silver stars. While wearing them, you can always see the stars in the sky, even in the daytime, and you can’t become lost by nonmagical means as long as you can see them. While wearing the gloves, you can use a bonus action to summon a javelin of starlight. The javelin appears in your space and moves with you, floating alongside you. It sheds bright light in a 10-foot radius and dim light for an additional 10 feet. When you summon the javelin, and again as a bonus action on each of your subsequent turns, you can make a ranged spell attack with the weapon, with a spell attack bonus of +8. The javelin has a range of 30 feet, but it can be used to attack a target up to 120 feet away: doing so causes you to make the attack with disadvantage. If the javelin hits a target, it deals 1d6 + 4 radiant damage, and a shimmering star appears fixed in space at the point of impact. The star sheds bright and dim light like the javelin, and it remains there for up to 1 minute. Hit or miss, the javelin then winks out and reappears next to you in your space. You can use a bonus action to dismiss the javelin. When you do, the shimmering stars created by the javelin each flare with a celestial light, creating 1-inch-diameter beams of energy between them. A star can have up to two beams of energy connected to it, and each beam must connect to a different star no more than 60 feet away from it (you choose which stars). A creature caught in one or more of the beams must succeed on a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw or take 4d6 radiant damage. The stars then vanish. After the javelin attacks for the fifth time, it disappears, and any stars created by it wink out without creating any beams. ___ ✨ Patrons get huge perks! Access this and hundreds of other item cards, art files, and compendium entries when you support The Griffon's Saddlebag on Patreon for less than $10 a month!