#dick/deck joke goes here.

[other-peoples-coats]

Scifi FEELS like it is supposed to have kiwi accents AotC and other exposures happening within a close ish time period did something to my American lil child brain I think

haha, that's fair! I think I very much got used to hearing english (dr who!) or american (uh everything else) in scifi, and in...well, like everything else (that was in english, at any rate), that I'm always thrown when I hear someone speaking like I'd expect to hear if I ran into them at the shops.

Also, I think there's a bit of -- english and american accents, for the most part, feel, uh, made up? like I know they're real, my wife is american, I have english friends, but there's still a bit of...I guess 'this is an accent that is Made Up For Media' about them? like 'oh yes, space ships real, american accent, lazer swords and "blasters", etc etc, all of this is fictional', and then there's someone in the middle of it being like 'aw yiss thet's how yu doo et' and it's the biggest record scratch moment because like, hang on, that's a REAL person. like a real person who wandered into the movie off the street.

(also, yes, my wife takes great delight in being like 'not that's also not made up for tv, that's just what america is like', and every time I am baffled. what do you mean the red solo cups are A Thing For Real. what do you mean highschools have lockers with combination locks. what do you mean highschool/uni sports are Really A Big Deal. etc.)

[yinyangswings]

If Luffy had a Child

Finding out you’re pregnant, at first you think Chopper is joking. You hadn’t been able to keep food down lately, but your mind had never gone to the idea of you being pregnant. And you are terrified but Luffy (after being confused at first) seems excited. The crew are more or less alright with it.

The running joke as the pregnancy continues is that it can’t be that hard in comparison to dealing with Luffy on a daily basis.

Luffy agrees with them. Much to your dismay

Luffy forgets to tell Ace and Sabo about the fact you’re pregnant. So imagine the surprise felt when they meet up one day in a random port and there you are, about 5 months pregnant. Their expressions are hilarious.

“Luffy’s going to be a dad?!”

“Wait…we’re going to be UNCLES?!”

After the realization clicks in, both men are ecstatic and they don’t want to leave. Not until after you have the kid at least. Because they’re going to be uncles

Cue both brothers telling their friends and their own crew the news. The cheers from the Moby Dick can be heard through the Mushi Mushi Den for miles and when Sabo tells Koala and the others at first there is silence but Koala starts laughing and says that Dragon looked absolutely stunned and had had to walk out. There had been a smile on his face though.

Despite it being obvious that you were pregnant, it didn’t really seem to register with Luffy. He acted the same as he always does. That is until one night while you’re resting and he’s laying partially on you, cheek on your stomach and the baby kicks him in the face. He blinks and looks at the spot where the baby was and you just laugh gently. Then his face breaks into a bright smile. 

After that he is always checking up on you and talking to the baby whenever he can. You find it endearing.

You go into labor at the worst possible time. Marines attacked the Thousand Sunny and Luffy had made you get downstairs and hide. Which you hated. You wanted to help the crew but they all wanted you safe.

Then all of sudden you’re in immense pain and practically collapse. You feel something wet pass between your legs and you come into a startling realization. You’re in labor. With a fight raging on above you.

You’d have laughed if you weren’t about to panic.

You try to keep it down, to not alert either your crew or the Marines. Thankfully it seems Chopper sensed your pain or heard your muffled screams. Something, because he’s suddenly there and then Chopper is instructing you on how to deliver. You’re rather impressed with yourself. 

You can only hope that everything is going well above and that Luffy is alright. 

You nearly crumple at a sudden contraction. You hope he’s okay because you’re going to kill him. 

Meanwhile the fight is over after a little bit. Not a surprise as they picked a fight not only with the Strawhats, but Fire Fist Ace and Chief of Staff of the Revolutionary Army Sabo are there. 

However the feeling of victory is short lived as a cry echoes out from below deck. You. Luffy has a look of panic on his face and he is down the stairs like a shot, the crew and his brothers not far behind. 

Seconds before he reaches the door to the room he put you in, another cry fills the air, this one certainly not yours.

And as he stands there frozen another wail joins the previous one, echoing over one another.

What feels like an eternity goes by, and then he opens the door and there you are, exhausted, sweat dripping off of you and tears sliding down your face. Chopper is flitting around two small squirming bundles that are in your grasp. And you’re smiling through your tears. 

You look up finally and your smile widens. “Come here, Lu. Come say hi.”

And he does so, the quietest you can ever remember him being as he cranes his neck to see both small infants in your grasp. Twins, he hears. A boy and a girl. And they’re….tiny. Smaller than he expected, wrinkly, and pink. They have dark fuzz adorning their heads. But their little lungs are making sure everyone knows that they are both fine and dandy.

In the background, he can sort of hear his brothers beginning to sob because they’re now uncles. But he can’t hear them over the sound of his heartbeat.

When he’s handed one, he can hear her little heart beating under his fingertips. And for once in his life, Monkey D. Luffy is still, just staring at his kids. And then his face breaks out into the biggest smile you’ve ever seen.

The crew absolutely adore the babies when they meet them. Every single member of the crew, even Zoro, is grinning at the sight of the littlest members of their crew. It’s fairly obvious that those babies are going to be so spoiled. Likewise, Sabo and Ace are OVER THE MOON when they see their little niece and nephew, each one getting to hold one of them at the same time. To say they’re going to be doting uncles is an understatement. Those two are in love in the instant they see the two. 

And it is chaos. That’s the easiest way to describe Luffy with his children. Pure and utter chaos. He usually has them wrapped up in slings on his chest and back and everyone can hear the babies squealing and giggling as their father bounces around Sunny having the times of their little lives.

The Strawhats find it adorable.

The one thing that there is little doubt about is that those two children are loved by the entire crew. If they’re not with one of their parents, they're with a crew member, always safe and protected. No one has to ever doubt that those crew members would protect those children with their lives

In the same vein, if anyone attempts to go after the twins, it’s not a question of if they die. It’s how.

Because if the Strawhats don’t kill them, if any of their allies get wind of what was attempted or done, there will be no rest until they’re either captured or killed by any of them.

Ace and Sabo would be in the lead.

Garp finds out about the twins months later. Just happens to cross paths with his grandson who is proudly sporting the twins in their slings as usual. Garp is…stunned to say the least.

“When did you grab those babies, you brat!?”

“They’re mine!”

“What do you mean they’re yours?!”

“Gramps, don’t you know where babies come from?”

“YOU IDIOT! OF COURSE I DO!”

The yelling continues for a long while, long enough for you to grab the twins for lunch time. At that point Garp makes his way onto the ship because he actually wants to meet his great-grandson and great-granddaughter face to face.

The twins are part of the exclusive group of people who can touch Luffy’s hat. They play peek-a-boo with it and regularly enjoy pulling it down their daddy’s face because when they lift it, he has a silly expression that makes them laugh brightly. They are his little treasures.

[soft-mafia]

Meeting Shanks Headcanons [Buggy x Reader]

warnings: fem reader, fluffy crack, Buggy screaming

a/n: ok enough with my shenanigans, here’s some real Buggy content from me since I’ve been slacking and shit posting.

I’m a firm believer that Buggy would not want Shanks to meet his girlfriend bc he’s convinced he’d take her from him.

It would start off as just a regular morning, Buggy waking up all groggy, stomping up to the deck while scratching his lower back.

He goes up to Cabaji and asks him where Y/n is, usually she’s laying in bed sleeping next to him— she’d always wake up later.

Y/n was a heavy sleeper and no matter how many times Buggy tried to wake her up she wouldn’t budge so he eventually just let her be. But today she wasn’t there.

“Oh yeah, she’s talking to your pal Shanks over there.” The pirate chief of staff said, nodding his head over to Y/n. “Hm?” Buggy grunted lightly as he looked over, “Alright.” At first Cabaji’s words didn’t process in his mind, but before he took a step, he had to double take; his eyes suddenly widened when he saw the red head in particular.

“SHANKS?!” Buggy screamed, all of his parts becoming detached at one time, his floating hands then grabbed Cabaji by the shoulders and began shaking him violently, “HOW DID HE GET ON THE SHIP?! AND WHO THE HELL LET HIM NEAR Y/N?!”

The acrobat felt like he was getting whiplash with the captain shaking him around so much, “He said he was your friend!!”

“WHAT?!” Buggy growled, his parts popped back into place again as he glared back in the direction of Shanks. They were talking.. he couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but that damn Shanks was making Y/n laugh. Buggy began to panic.

“Hard to believe that out of the both of us it’s Buggy who managed to bag a girl.” Shanks laughed, “Are you sure you’re not being held hostage?” He joked, making Y/n laugh some more. “Oh no! Buggy is so sweet, you have no idea!” She giggled, “I was actually the one that came up to him first and he- Buggy? AHHH!!” Y/n screamed as Buggy quickly threw a potato sack over her, completely engulfing her in it before throwing it over his shoulder.

He growled and stuck a finger into Shank’s chest, his torso detaching so he could look down at him, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TALKING TO MY GIRL?! You’re trying to steal her from me aren’t you?! Just like you stole my chances at becoming the richest man in the world!!!”

Shanks just laughed at Buggy’s accusations, “Still haven’t changed one bit, huh? Y/n’s a real looker, you’re a lucky guy I’ll tell you that!” Shanks grinned and playfully slapped Buggy on the shoulder.

Y/n was thrashing around in the potato sack, screaming and cursing, “BUGGY WHAT THE FUCK?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! LET ME OUT, IT FUCKING STINKS IN HERE!!”

Buggy snarled at Shanks, “Don’t play that game with me, I know what you’re trying to do!! Don’t think for a second I’ll let you anywhere near Y/n!!”

Y/n finally found a way to bust out of the sack, she then growled and grabbed Buggy’s floating torso, turning it to face her so she could yell in his face, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!” She yelled. “WHY THE HELL WERE YOU TALKING TO SHANKS?!” Buggy growled back at her.

“AM I NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO PEOPLE ANYMORE?! You’re acting like I sucked his dick or something!!” Y/n shouted.

“OH SO YOU WANNA SUCK HIS DICK NOW?!”

“THATS NOT WHAT I SAID, BUGGY, AND YOU KNOW IT!!” Y/n and Buggy’s foreheads were pressed together as they bickered at each other.

Shanks just ran a hand through his hair and snickered, “C’mon Buggy, I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.. Why don’t we have a few drinks and we can catch up?”

Y/n and Shanks agree on the drinks, but Buggy is still grumbling and wary of Shanks’ intentions with his girl.

However, once Buggy is drunk enough, he loosens up, sitting on his throne with Y/n on his lap, Shanks sitting in a chair across from them with a table loaded with food right in the middle.

The two men reminisce about their adventures from the past(Buggy obviously exaggerating some parts to impress Y/n, insert Shanks butting in to correct Buggy and embarrass him.)

As it gets late, Buggy drunkenly let Shanks rest on the ship until morning.

However, as soon as Buggy got over his hangover and found Shanks still on the Big Top(no memory of him letting Shanks stay here), he immediately kicked him off and told him to never come back.

“And stay away from my girl while you’re at it!!!”

[ladylooch]

can I request maybe some Nico fluff. maybe some comfort too 👉👈

A/N: Thank you for this 🥰

Nico fluff may be the best fluff. This is part of the What My World Spins Around AU

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: She's drunk, fluff, mentions of male genitalia, a lil handsy- above the clothes stuff.

The key hole of mine and Nico’s apartment swirls in my vision as I attempt to stab my key in. I blink, trying to steady the circle in my line of vision. The world keeps spinning and my eyes close again. I sway into the door and giggle. 

Drunk might be an understatement for me.

The Devils ladies all went out on the town to celebrate our Bachelorette, Drey. Fully decked out in penis attire, we tossed back shots of vodka, tequila, and something else pink and sugary that I can’t remember the name of. It was entirely too much fun and alcohol. I barely made it out of the Lyft without falling on my face.

I brace my hand against the door to push off. I look down at the penis swinging from the gaudy pink necklace around my neck. I giggle again, then attempt to shove the key back in. I gasp in excited surprise when it goes in. I flip the lock and stumble through the door. I wince, noticing my disturbance of our dark and silent apartment. It’s well after 2:00am and it’s good Nico is asleep. Tomorrow is another game day.

I carefully grope my way in the dark to the kitchen counter. I settle my purse there then reach down to unzip my black ankle bootie.

“Fuc-” The whole word doesn’t make it out of my mouth before I’m falling over onto the oak floor. I clasp my hand over my mouth as giggles assault me again. Tears pool in my eyes as I gasp for breath between my fingers. My abdominal muscles crunch with tension at trying to hold the noise in.

Nico’s chuckle from above me has my eyes flying open in surprise. I release my full laughter when I see him awake. 

“I fell over.” I tell him between breathy giggles.

“I see that.” He responds, smile stretching his cheeks wide.

“I think I need help.” I croak at him, holding my foot up towards his face. He secures it in his hands, holding the heel with one and sliding the zipper down with the other. He pulls the shoe off, tossing it to the floor behind him. He releases that foot, then motions for me to put the other up. I do so silently, watching the way he looks at me. While I’m drunk on alcohol, he’s drunk on love.

All night while we celebrated Drey, I couldn’t stop the yearning for my day. I could see myself dressed in white, a cheap crown on my head and big, pink heart sunglasses pressing to my face. When it’s my turn, I want it all. I want a large cut out of Nico’s face and my favorite kind of cookies and a silky, pink sash with Future Mrs. Hischier in gold, glittery letters.

“Do you like my necklace?” I ask Nico as he tosses the other boot away. I spin the large penis around my finger, flicking my tongue out at him. Nico laughs loudly, raising his eyebrows at my suggestiveness.

“You like dicks bigger than that.” He jokes. My head falls back to the floor as I laugh loudly. 

“I do!” I exclaim as he holds his hands out for me to get up. I grip them tight and he tugs me standing. “Oh no…” I sway to the right, but Nico steadies me. My nose scrunches up and I grip his biceps hard. “The room is… spinning.” I sputter, gritting my teeth against the nausea I feel. “Bleh.”

“Yeah, the beds probably going to as well.” He tells me. “Let’s get you some water. That should help.”

He helps me to the sink then shuffles between a few cabinets and the fridge. He returns with a cup that’s fizzing and swirling with ice cubes.

“W’as this?” I murmur, bringing it to my lips anyway and taking a glug. “Oooo it’s salty.”

“There’s a Nuun in there. I’m trying to get some electrolytes back into you.” 

“That’s gonna kill my buzz.” I say, extending the cup back to him.

“Drink, baby.” He says, using his no nonsense tone. I furrow my eyebrows together sarcastically with a pout.

“Oh, Captain Serious is here now.” Nico snorts laughter at me, leaning his butt against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Yeah and he says no bed until that glass is gone.” 

I try my best, but can only get half of the glass down.

“My legs are tired.” I whine to him, trying to slide down to sit on the floor.

“Okay, okay. Let’s just go to bed.” He is laughing at me again, my pathetic nature making his sweetness accelerate. His hands wrap around my body, pulling me tight to him. His lips hover over mine as he takes my necklaces off along with the feathered boa I forgot I was wearing. As he sets them on the counter, I feel a tug of uncertainty.

“You’re gonna marry me right?” I whisper against his lips when he leans down to kiss me. I hang from his shoulders like a baby chimp. Nico pulls back so he can see my full face. His strong hands squeeze my back ribs assuringly then slide down to tuck in the back pockets of my jeans.

“Yes, baby. I’m going to marry you.” He presses our lips together again.

“Right now?”

“No sweets. I want you sober when I promise forever with you.” He chuckles. His hands glide to lift me by the backs of my thighs.

“That is soooo sweet.” I sigh to him, resting my cheek on his shoulder. His assurance has a happy bubble building in my chest. I burrow my nose into his neck, enjoying the way his stubble tickles my skin.

We get to bed and he begins to undress me. Soft kisses are placed all along my body. First on my shoulder, then on my chest, followed by my thighs and calves. My skin buzzes from the connection. I watch with burdensome lids as he replaces my bachelorette clothes with pajamas.

“Touch me.” I ask him, biting my lip as he slides his large t-shirt over my shoulders. His thumbs come up, circling my nipples twice before pulling the hem all the way down. He’s too much of a gentleman to take it any further. He pulls the comforter back on my side. I crawl my way slowly up, settling against my pillow to wait for him. 

When he slides into bed with me, I snuggle up close to his side, curling my knees up into a comfort cocoon with him. My hand wanders down to the tie on his pants, fiddling with it.

“Tomorrow, love.” He murmurs to me, lacing our fingers together and moving them to rest on his chest beside my head.

“I think you’re too good for me.” I whisper to him, eyes lazily blinking as sleep begin to call for me. “I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“Me either.” His eyes don’t even open as he speaks to me. He’s so sure, holding his forever. I grin, pressing my lips to his pec over his shirt. When I place my cheek on top of my kiss, his hand comes to stroke at my scalp. His fingers weave their way between my now sloppy curls, massaging me into a deep, drunken sleep.

[hauntedparadisebandana]

141 x drummer!femreader

Summary: fanboy soap drags the group to a downtown bar to see his favorite band member play live.

Pt 1/2

Warnings: swearing, implied scent kink??, Mentions of drinking, Y/H means your height

[The pov's switch in this story]

*7:00 pm, downtown bar*

The bell rings as the group enters, doors shutting behind them, they stand there, taking in their surroundings. The air is thick with cigarette smoke and cheap perfume, the lights above are dim, giving the atmosphere a chill vibe. The group takes a seat in a booth near the stage.

"Why are we here again?" Grumbles ghost, hands shoved in his hoodie pockets. He was forced to come on the groups adventure downtown.

"We're here to see the band play. They're one of my favorites." Explains soap, being the ring leader of the trip, excitement coursing through his viens.

"Couldn't you just listen to their music back at base?" "But it wouldn't be the same, plus now I get to see 'em live." Ghost huffs at his response, leaning back into the seat. He always ended up on soaps trips, whether he wanted to or not.

"What's the band called? I may have heard of them before." Says gaz leaning in.

"The Deck, a total of five people, each named after a card. They mostly play rock/metal, and a few of 'em can sing. My favorite member is the drummer."

"Hm, never took you for the metal head type, soap." Quips price, coming to set down their drinks, then popping a seat by gaz.

"Well, ye learn something new every day, gaz what time is it?" "It's 7:20, are they playing soon?" "Yep, they play at 7:30 once every week at different bars in town, at the end the drummer gives away her pair of drum sticks she used to play that night, if im lucky she'll give them to me."

This gets a reaction out of everyone, ghost chuckles lightly while price and gaz lets out hearty laughs. At this soap's face flushes red, getting embarrassed, "What's so funny?"

"So the drummers a girl huh, sounds like you're a bit of a fan boy." "Am not!" "Are too! You even know what time they play each week! And that the drummer gives away her sticks, whats next, their favorite colors, foods?"

Soaps flushes more, face red as a tomato as he leans back and turns away, "You know what, gaz, I officially hate you." "So you do know all that! Admit it, you are a fan boy!" "You are such a dick! I only know because they said it in an interview!"

Price laughs at soap and Gaz's bantering, getting a little chuckle out of ghost as well.

"Don't worry soap, it's cute how much of a fan boy you are for the drummer," gaz leans in and starts to pinch soap's cheeks, cooing and babying him; earning him a swift punch to the arm.

"That's enough out of you two, they're coming."

"What? No joke?!" Soap whips his head around to look at the stage. No one's on. When he turns around, gaz is laughing into his hand, and price hides his smirk in his glass of whiskey.

"Captain! I thought we were cool, now yer teasing me too?"

"Sorry soap, couldn't resist, but they're coming on for real this time" as he points to the stage the members bring out equipment, setting up quickly as possible, when they finish and take their places. The singer up front, the guitarist to the right, drummer on the far right. On the other side is the bass and second guitarist to the far left. The group could see the appeal, she was hard to miss.

"Soap, if you don't stop staring so hard, your eyes might fall out of your head." gaz laughs again, placing a hand on soaps shoulder.

"Just look at 'er tattoos! They're awesome. "

You could see ghost perk up at 'tattoos' she has officially piqued his interest, but he didn't want to show it, so he just stared at her intricate ink. Her most visible tattoos are on her arms, one arm is a full sleeve, the other arm has scattered tattoos. There is one peeking above her neck line of her shirt, it goes down between her breasts. Ghost nodded slowly, taking in her appearance. She was special, different, the whole band was, and the group liked that. Slightly extroverted, and bold, ready to fuck shit up.

"Aint she a sight for sore eyes" price mumbles, taking a longer sip, the thoughts coming faster than he can drink. "Ghost I can tell you're thinking, You looking at her too?" Says price quietly, taking another sip of whiskey, it turns out ghost can't hide his emotions from everyone,

"She's different..." "That she is," Price chuckles,

"I told you guys, she's cool,"

Suddenly the main lights turn off, and the stage lights come on, illuminating the band. after the singer gives introductions they begin to play. It seems as if the group controlled the bar entirely, the music was bassy, compelling, loud; and the people seemed to like it, as most sung along screaming. The drums and guitar had a solo part, and soap almost melted, gaz just laughed at him. Soon, the song was over, the last echo of sound was heard and the bar erupted into yells, claping and whistling.

By the end of the songs, the group was tipsy, with soap and gaz almost on the edge of being drunk. The group sits there in awe for a moment. The experience was new. "I'll say, that wasn't half bad, I like their style." Price crosses his arms.

"Yeah, you picked good soap," Ghost nods to soap. "I knew you would come around ghost! They're good, right? The way they play is amazing!" "Uh oh, he's fanboying again." "I'll kick your arse."

*y/n pov*

I wipe the sweat off my forehead, taking a swig of water. Me and my band mates smile and wave taking in the praise, the excitement. "Now it's time for the fun part, y/n, pick the lucky winner for tonight's sticks."

I smirk and quickly look around, I spot a booth close to the stage. A total of four men sat there, all looking at me. They're all cuties at that. The one sporting a mohawk had a twinkle in his eyes; a true metal lover at heart, I assume. I nod to the leader, hopping off the stage quickly making my way to the booth. The guards follow close behind, ensuring my safety. As I got closer, their eyes got wide. I take the guy with a Mohawk hands, giving him my drum sticks, my glossy lips form a grin as he stares at me, like a child meeting santa for the first time.

"You're tonight's lucky one." I smile at him sweetly, nodding to the rest of his table mates. Up close, everyone is rather handsome, their eyes drilling into my face, focus y/n. I make my way back to the stage, putting up my equipment, getting ready to leave.

*pov, 141*

Soap sits there, jaw slack and eyes wide. Gaz busts out laughing for the third time this night, and price smirks. "I-I got 'er sticks, I really got 'er sticks!" He exclaimed

"You sure did soap,"

"I don't know if anyone noticed, but damn she smells good," adds gaz. "Her smell is strong, sweet." "It's intoxicating." Ghost mumbles, rubbing his temple, the bourbon was finally getting to him. Her smell is like a sweet musk, hard to rub off, hard to get rid of. He remembers the way her bracelets and bangles jingled, sweet music to his ears. Fuck. He could feel something straining.

"'er voice is sweet too.... and her smile, shes really cool." "Oooook fanboy soap has gotten delirious." "Am not!" "Are too! Stop denying it!" "Whatever!" Their words slur a bit. Maybe they were a bit drunk after all.

Price sighs, rubbing his head at the twos antics. "I'm grabbing another drink, care to join?"

"Yeah, I'll go, but just to move around. I've been sitting so long it feels like my ass is glued to the seat." Gaz complains, holding his head in his hands.

"Let's go." The entire group gets up to get drinks, soap gasps as he spots y/n. She took her shirt of some time ago, now only in a sports bra, showing off her rad back tattoo. She stands with her hands in her pocket. The second guitarist is also standing, leaning against the booth talking to her, laughing.

"You should've seen the way he was looking at you! It was like looking at a kid seeing gifts under the tree."

"I seen his expression, I thought he was gonna get emotional and start crying right there as I gave him the sticks!"

the guitarist smirks glancing past y/n, "speak of the devil, it's the kid on Christmas and his group."

"Oh hush spade, leave the man alone."

We get closer to hear y/n hush the guitarist, we sit at the bar near where they stand, away from her and the guy, too drunk and weary to make decisions. Plus, the band's guards were close by, best not to piss them off. The guitarist continues to look over at us

"You know you guys can stand by us right, join us, we don't bite....well, I do but y/n doesn't." He pulls y/n in by the shoulder, to which she punches him.

"Don't listen to this jackass, come, it's safe to sit over here." She waves us over, inviting us to join her, those same bracelets and bracelets making the same sweet noise.

*y/n pov*

Theres a bit of an akward silence for a moment, I tap my hands on my thighs. Its then broken as the guy to my right speaks up, his voice rough and deep, smooth around the edges. It sends a shudder through my body, the smell of cigar smoke and cologne fills my senses.

"These are my men, ghost, gaz, and soap, I'm price." Each one nods and greets me as price says their name. Spade always being a dick has to speak up,

"So the kid on Christmas is soap, hm," he takes a sip of his drink, I pinch him after he says this.

"ignore him, so, what brings you guys downtown tonight..." I say, taking spades cup and taking a sip of whatever he's drinking.

"Well, our buddy soap here wanted to come see you guys live." Gaz grabs soap by the shoulders, shaking him.

"See us live hm? You a big fan?" I grin, looking soap right in his eyes, questioning him.

"Well-" "He's a huge fan, he knows the times you play, where you play, he even watches the group interview-" "Yes, I'm a fan," he says, cheeks red. Hand slapped over gazs mouth to hush him.

I put down my glass, "Oh, well we love very dedicated fans, don't we spade." "Mhm, love em'"

I lean back, looking at the two. The big one to my left, ghost, speaks up.

"Your tattoos..."

"Hm, what about them?" I look up at him, fuck he's tall, about 5 inches taller than me, as I'm Y/H. He looks about 5'10-6'2, well built, pure muscle, and oh that accent... he could easily crush me-

"Where do you get them done..." those eyes

"I do most myself, others I get a friend to do. I run a tattoo shop in my spare time."

"You have talent, y/n" price speaks up, smiling at me.

"Oh you flatter me," I joke, placing a hand on my chest. "No really, you play in a band, run a tattoo shop along with doing your own tattoos? That's pure talent that deserves recognition."

"Why thank you price," I laugh, running a hand through my hair, getting it out my face.

He nods down at me, I look at him. I see something shift in his expression, it was dark, hungry, I don't question it one bit; getting that all to familiar feeling in the bottom of my stomach. I squeeze my thighs. His eyes are a deep shade of blue, all of theirs are blue, except for gaz, his are a pretty shade of rich brown

"You smell really good..." gaz perks up,

"Ah, that's my perfume, strawberry poundcake, got it as a gift."

"..." Gaz soon has the same aura price had, hungry, wanting. I catch onto this quickly. Feeling my stomach jump I avert my eyes, looking for a distraction. Maybe he's just drunk...

"Hey y/n we need to head out, ace is tired of waiting and hes starting to bitch about it." Thank fucking god

"Ace is tired of everything" I sigh turning back to the group. "I gotta run boys, but me and the group will be down here tomorrow around 7:00 for an off day, if you wanna join."

"Sure lass, we'll join ya" soap nods eagerly, getting the others to agree even in their drunken states.

"Ok that's great! See you soon." I turn on my heels to run after spade who had started leaving without me. Face flushed and the feeling still in the pit of my stomach. Still feeling their eyes drilling into my back, I slide out the bar doors.

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Play date

A/N- This was one of my most recent Gareth fics so thankfully i didn’t have to try and recover this one 😅 i may or may not have a part 2 in the works 🫣

Summary- Gareth goes to pick up his little sisters from their friends place, and he definitely didn’t expect a girl to open their front door. a hot girl. in a bikini…

Genre- Fluff

Warnings- None :)

Tag List- @imagine-all-the-imagines @ahzysauce

Words- 2.4k

Gareth knocked on the front door, waiting patiently for someone to answer.

His sisters were over at their friends house for a playdate, some other girl they knew from school, and he was asked by his parents to pick them up before it got too dark out. As soon as the door opened his jaw almost fell to the floor.

It wasn’t one of the other girls’ parents standing there before him, it was a girl. A hot girl, wearing a bikini top and a pair of shorts over the bottoms. At first he thought it was a joke, doing a double take to make sure he wasn’t just seeing things, making you giggle,

“Hi, are you Gareth?”

“Yeah…” He said quietly at first, his eyes snapping back up to yours to distract him from your exposed figure before him, “Yeah, hi, sorry. I’m here to pick up my sisters.”

“I figured, i’m (y/n), i’m Cassie’s older sister,” You said with a smile, opening the door for him, “they were telling me about you,” you said giggling again, seeing the littlest bit of blush creep onto his cheeks, “they’re all in the backyard, come on in.”

He stepped in, closing the door behind him and following you through the house to the sliding glass doors next to your kitchen. He could see a large pool with a wooden deck leading up to it, a few lounge chairs with some towels and pool toys scattered around them. You slid open the doors and approached the pool,

“Hey girls, your brother’s here to take you home.”

The three girls groaned in the pool, making their way up the steps and grabbing their towels to dry off,

“Can’t they stay a little longer sissy?” Your younger sister Cassie said, giving you the puppy dog eyes.

You looked back to Gareth, your hands on your hips,

“I guess it’s all up to you, you’re the one taking them home.”

He thought it over for a moment, weighing his options. He could either go home with his sisters and spend the rest of the night in his room, watching the same old slashers that he’s seen over a million times, or he could stick around for a little longer and spend time with a girl in a bikini.

“You know what,” he looked to his sisters, “i don’t think mom and dad would mind if we stuck around for a little longer.”

His sisters ran up to him and gave him a hug, getting his clothes wet from their still soaked bathing suits before jumping back into the pool. You giggled and took a seat on one of the loungers, looking back up to Gareth,

“You can come sit next to me, i’m not gonna bite.”

He gave you a soft smile as he sat next to you,

“So my sisters were saying stuff about me?” He said, fearing the worst. He knew his sisters were always nice around others but they’d tell his deepest secrets in a heartbeat.

“Yeah, nothing bad though,” You said with a giggle, “they told me we’re the same age, and when they were snooping around in my room they said you liked the same kind of movies.”

“Really? I didn’t know girls were into those gross slashers. Did you see Bad Taste? It came out a few weeks ago.”

“Of course i saw it! I love movies like that, my friends think i’m weird but i just think they’re cool.”

The two of you sat there talking about anything and everything you could think of, slashers, Hellfire, he even told you about Corroded Coffin and about what happened with Jason when Eddie went missing. You could still see a little cut on his lip.

“He threw you into your drums? He’s such a dick, i don’t understand how he gets away with the shit he does.” You turned your head to see the small cut on his lip, a little purple bruise still around it, “I’m glad you’re alright though, that looks like it hurt.”

“Yeah, it hurt like a bitch,” he said with a laugh, the littlest bit of pink on his cheeks, “i’m just glad this cut’s almost healed, i feel like it’s been there forever.”

“Well hopefully next time you come over it looks a little better.” You said with a gentle smile, your eyes darting back and forth from the cut on his lip to his eyes, seeing the blush on his cheeks get a bit deeper.

“Next time?”

“Yeah, next time your sisters are over i expect you to come with,” You said giggling, seeing how flustered he got, “i need someone to hang out with me so i’m not stuck babysitting them again.”

It was cute to see how nervous he got just from talking to you, and it was even cuter to see how pink his cheeks got whenever you giggled or smiled at him. You knew you were being flirty, and you were sure he knew it too, but something about him made you certain that he’d let you do it as much as you wanted. He was wrapped around your finger and you loved it.

“Yeah! Yeah, i’ll absolutely come with next time they come over-“

“We get to come over again?!” One of the girls said from behind him, the two of you getting lost in your conversation and not noticing that they had been wrapped in their towels, standing behind you two for god knows how long.

“I mean, yeah,” Gareth turned to his sisters, “if you guys wanna come over again soon we totally can,” he quickly turned back to you, “if that’s alright with you i mean…” He said trying to hide his excitement.

It was rare occurrence that he was able to talk to a girl this easily, but having a girl as pretty as you be so eager to see him again was definitely something new.

“Of course! You guys can come over whenever you want,” you look back to Gareth, “my parents love your sisters so i’m sure they won’t mind if you came along.”

“Can we come back this weekend?” One of his sisters asked.

“Is that alright with you?” Gareths eyes found yours again, and you could tell he was hoping you’d let them come back that soon.

“Absolutely you can! But no swimming next time,” though Gareth was excited to come back, he was a little upset he wouldn’t be able to see your figure so exposed to him the next time he saw you, “i don’t want us to be stuck out here watching you the whole time ok?”

“That’s ok, we can play with all my new barbie’s i just got for my birthday!”

“Can we go see?”

“Yeah they’re all up in my room!”

The three girls quickly ran inside, going upstairs into Cassie’s room, you shouted behind them,

“Be careful when you run in the house! Don’t get anything wet!” You giggled and rolled your eyes, “Sorry about her, are you sisters like that when they have people over?”

“Oh yeah, all the time.” He said with a smile, “i better go get them, it’s getting kinda late and i don’t want my parents to be pissed i let them stay out this late.”

“I’ll go in with you, i can always clean all this up tomorrow.” You stood up from the chair and grabbed the shirt that was thrown over the back of it, slipping it on before going to grab the pool toys and towels just to tidy up a bit.

Gareth was upset to see your figure covered up again until he saw the logo on the shirt,

“No fucking way, you like gross movies AND you’re into Diamond Head?”

“Yeah!” You said, your lips curled into a smile, “I love them, my dad was the one who got me into them a few years ago when their first album came out.”

The two of you entered the house once again, closing the curtains behind the sliding glass door,

“He’s got good taste,” He said following close behind you into the house, “what other bands are you into? It can’t just be Diamond Head is it?”

“Oh no, i love all kinds of bands like that,” you said with a giggle, “Girlschool, Anthrax, i’ve got a whole collection of cassettes upstairs, i’ll show you.”

You grabbed his hand and led him upstairs into your bedroom, hearing the girls in your sisters room just down the hall. He was surprised that you grabbed at his hand so quickly, and even more surprised when you were still holding it as you entered your room. And he was even more shocked to see how closely your room resembled his.

Posters of different horror movies and bands covering the walls, tapestries over your windows as replacements for curtains, a large pile of VHS tapes next to the tv in front of your bed and a crate full of different metal cassettes next to the stereo underneath your window. And then it finally hit him. He was in a girls room.

You dragged him over to your stereo and kneeled down in front of it, dragging the crate forward to look through the tapes as he sat next to you.

“Wow, you’ve got some good ones in here…” He said, moving the tapes around in the crate before him as you reached up to play whichever one was still in your stereo, turning the volume down so the two of you could talk over it.

“I’ve got some old ones and some new ones in there. I think i’ve got a few more over here too,” you leaned yourself over him, holding onto his shoulder for support, your chest close to his face making him blush as he tried not to sneak a glance at your breasts, “yeah, my dad let me borrow some of his older ones, we used to listen to a lot of these in the car when i was little.”

As the two of you rummaged through the tapes, talking about whichever ones caught your eyes, neither of you could tell that the other was sneaking glances. Gareths eyes kept moving over your face, taking note of every little detail and blemish, while yours were looking to his lips, looking at the light bruise surrounding the cut on his lip.

“What’re you staring at?”

Your eyes quickly moved up to his, not noticing that he finally caught you sneaking a look, making you blush harder than you ever have before. You finally realized why you loved seeing how pink his cheeks got as soon as he did the same to you. There was just something about Gareth that made you feel like there were butterflies in your stomach. Maybe it was the fact that he seemed to interested in you, or that you could tell you were making him feel the same way he made you feel. No matter what it was, for a boy you just met, you knew you definitely liked him.

You gently reached your hand up to his cheek, moving your thumb carefully over the bruise around his lip,

“Just looking at this little cut,” you could feel his cheek beating up under your fingers, “i really hope it heals soon, how long has it been there?”

“Few weeks i think…” He tried his best to keep his eyes away from your but he just couldn’t help himself, “I’ve actually got a little bump on the back of my head still.” He said with a nervous laugh.

“Really? Where is it?” You slowly moved your hand from his cheek into his fluffy hair, carefully moving your fingers around his scalp to find it. He would never allow anyone to touch his hair like this, but you were being so gentle and careful with him, he knew you would be the only exception. Once your fingers found it he winced just a bit at the soreness,

“Shit, sorry, i didn’t hurt you did i?”

“No, no, you’re totally fine.” He said, giving you a soft smile.

It was silent between the two of you, only the sound of the cassette playing from your stereo could be heard but it felt like it was just the two of you there with nothing else around you, getting lost in one another eyes and not noticing that your lips were inching closer.

And closer.

And closer…

“Ew! They’re kissing!”

Before your lips had the chance to touch, the two of you snapped your heads to your doorway, seeing the three little girls giggling as they quickly ran back downstairs once they knew they were caught. You took your hand off of the back of his head, the thought of your lips almost touching being burned into your brain. Damn those little brats for ruining the moment.

“I guess that’s probably my queue to go.” Gareth said, standing up from his spot and reaching his hand out to help pull you up.

“That’s ok, it’s getting late anyways, i know you said you had to leave like an hour ago.” You said with a soft laugh.

The two of you made your way down the stairs, seeing the girls waiting by the front door for their brother,

“All ready to go?” He asked them, you standing behind him. The girls nodded and gathered their things up before you opened the door for them. You smiled and your sister waved goodbye to them as they walked down the driveway to their car, and before Gareth took a few steps out of the door you quickly grabbed his hand again,

“You’re coming with them next time right?” You said with a smile, gently biting your bottom lip.

“Yeah, absolutely, i promise i’ll come with them next time.” He smiled and before he knew it, he felt his face flush as you quickly pressed your lips to his cheek.

It was quick, soft, and nothing more than a simple kiss goodbye, but to him it was everything. You giggled seeing his reaction to something as simple as a little kiss on the cheek and you slowly removed your hand from his, wiggling your fingers as you waved to him.

He was too flustered to do anything and quickly waved back just as you shut the door.

As he walked to the car, he felt like he was walking on air. Not even a full day of knowing you and he felt like his whole world was turned completely upside down from just one simple kiss on the cheek. And he was more excited than anything for his sisters next little play date at your place.

All that mattered was that he needed to see you again. And soon.

_______________________________________________

If you’d like to read more of my work, make sure to check out my masterlist 🥰

[ahsokasleftbicep]

Name and Soul: Chapter 8

Oh my god, I actually wrote the next chapter! I'm on winter break so I'll have more time to write. Let's go!!

@mqgriett @darkangel4121 @thelambandthewolffe @maulscrosshair @trash-dino-5000 @lightning-wolffe @killtherandomness @shadowwing1324 @sydnubabu @lafy-taffy @photowizard17

Crosshair x F!reader

Word Count: 1732

Warnings: Spoilers for episode 8. Bald baby burnt boi gets more sad. Tech and Wrecker blowing shit up. Reader finally seeing Crosshair up close again. A couple fucks lol

“Remember to bring her alive, Commander. Private L/N has knowledge that we can exploit.” Rampart walks off with Lama Su.

“Yes sir.” Crosshair boards the shuttle. I’ll get to see her again. She hates you. Shut. Up. She couldn’t hate me… 

~one year ago~

“You’re a dick.” You glare at Crosshair when he gets you to the ground in training. 

“And you’re awful at hand-to-hand.” He smirks as he puts a new toothpick between his lips. He gives you a hand up. You grumble and start to walk off. Crosshair grabs your arm and pulls you back to him. 

“You look like you hate me.” He’s still smirking, but deep down he worries. 

Your eyes soften when you look up at him. You knew he could be cold and sarcastic, but he could be insecure about it. No matter how he tried to hide it, you always seemed to know when his tone was a little more than a joke.

“Cross,” you grabbed his hand, “I could never hate you. Never.”

He gives you a skeptical look and scoffs. “Really?”

“It’s true. Sure, I can be mad at you. If you broke my rifle, I’d be mad for a while. But I don’t imagine ever hating you.” You give him a little smile. 

“Because you love me, don’t you?” 

“Hey, you said it, not me.” You roll your eyes and shove his chest a little. “But yes.” 

~return to present~

“How’d the test go, Omega?” You approached the two with Echo.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” The girl crossed her arms and frowned. 

You walked up to her and put your hand on her shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry. None of us passed our disarming tests the first time.” 

“Yeah, it took me tons of tries to pass kid.” Echo chimes in. “Now c’mon, Hunter wants us back at the cruiser.

--

“Rex warned us about these guys, we need to leave before we have a bigger group to take on.” Echo crosses his arms. 

“We need money, Echo. And we can make a lot of it with this ship.” Hunter looks at all of you. 

“How are we supposed to do that? This ship is falling apart, there’s nothing of value here anymore.” You look at Hunter confused. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Y/N.” Tech looks up from his tablet. “My scans show that the armory and artillery bay haven’t been offloaded fully.”

“The weapons would get our debt cleared with Cid.”

“We don’t smuggle arms, Hunter.” Echo frowns at him.

“We need Cid, we don’t have the Republic anymore. We need to take this. Tech get to the bridge, Y/N, go with him. The rest of us will go down and clear out the armory.” Hunter walks off with Echo, Wrecker, and Omega.

--

“You take care of the rouges; I will take care of the private. No one else goes near her besides me.” Crosshair stands and puts his helmet on. The necklace feels heavier when they come out of hyperspace, and he stares at Bracca. 

Finally. We can put this stupid necklace and “love” business behind us. I can see Y/N again. Not for long, Tarkin has plans for her, I don’t care what they are. Well, I do. I won’t hurt her. I can’t. We can and we will, whether you like it or not.

--

Hunter sighs. “It’s Crosshair alright.” 

“I’m blocking their scanners, we need to get to the ship as quick as possible. Let’s go.” Everyone starts making their way to the ship. You stay behind and stare out the window. You can see him standing there, he knows you’re all here. 

“Y/N, we need to leave.” Omega grabs your hand. 

--

The artillery deck is quiet and dark. You walk to the opening and look down. Yikes.

“Yeah, there’s no way I’m going down there.” Wrecker shakes his head. 

“There they are!” Trooper come out of the dark, aiming their weapons at you all. 

“Tapping our comms, how predictable.” Crosshair steps out from the shadows. 

Wrecker scoffs, “Nice to see you too, Crosshair.” 

Crosshair turns his head to you. “Look at you, scavenging like rats. Pathetic. Especially for you, Private L/N.

Private? He hasn’t called me that since we first met. You lift your helmet and stare at him, confused. 

He looks down slightly, gazing at your necklace. I’ll question her before I give her to Rampart. 

“Sorry to disappoint you, Crosshair.” You raise your rifle at the other troopers. 

Crosshair sighs, “I suggest you drop your weapo-“ He’s knocked into a wall.

The cannons go off and the deck starts collapsing. Hunter grabs you and you climb down with Omega and the others.

Crosshair stands up, rubbing his head. Damn it. 

--

“Tech, why are we here?” You look at the ion chambers, it’s much bigger up close.

“It is our only way off the cruiser. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Wow! I’ve never been inside an ion engine before.” Omega twists her head around, trying to take it all in.

Wrecker looks at her, “It’d be weirder if you had.”

“Definitely weirder, Omega.” You say. 

You reach the edge of the engine chamber. The sky is a deep purple and you can see the stars pretty well. Nice night. Tech starts to climb up but is almost hit by blaster fire.

“Try again, Hunter! I already told you; you’re surrounded!” Crosshair yells out. The engines start rumbling and Omega holds onto you.

“That’s not good, the engine’s coming online.” You look at Tech. 

“Crosshair wouldn’t do that, would he?” Omega looks at all of you panicked. You pat her head with a small smile. 

“How much time do we have, Tech?” 

“Less than two minutes. We need to leave.”

“ What if we use explosives to break away from the ship. They are not powerful enough to disable the engine, so this is the best option.” You hold open your bag of charges, looking at Tech and Hunter.

“You mean fall? All the way down?” Omega looks terrified. 

“Either that or be burnt to bits kid.” Echo shrugs and grabs a charge.

--

“Sir, engines are ready.” 

Crosshair looks up at the cruiser “Engage.”

--

“Get down!” You give Omega to Hunter and the charges blow. The metal groans and starts falling from the ship. You all hold onto something, but when the piece hits the ground, it splits in half, separating everyone. You lose your grip and fall away from Hunter and Omega. 

--

“No!” Crosshair is knocked back by the blast, losing his helmet. His skin behinds to burn and he puts his hands out, trying to prevent it. He hides behind some wreckage. “Turn the engines off!” The power dies and he passes out. 

So much for getting her back. She’s probably long gone by now. I’ll find her… I’ve got to.

--

You open your eyes and groan. You get up and dust yourself off. You look around and don’t see anyone, but you hear a groan from above. You start climbing and reach the top. Poking your head above the rubble, you don’t see anything. You hear another groan and look to the side. It’s him. It’s Crosshair. There is no one else around, so you quietly climb up and approach him. 

He is badly bruised and covered in soot. You touch his shoulder, no response. You gently lean him up against the rubble and gasp. He’s burned, very badly. The scar is mostly on the side of his head, some on his ear and his right eye. He groans and you back up slightly, still holding him up.

His eyes open a little. “Y/N? Why…” He stops for a moment, slipping in and out of consciousness. “Come with me…” You put your hands on his face.

“I’m sorry, Crosshair. I can’t.” He looks away from you for a second before looking back. He is about to speak before he passes out again. You hold his face, wiping some of the dust off his face. “I’ll come back for you Cross, I promise. I love you so much, just hang in there. I know you’re forgetting, but you’re still in there.” You kiss his forehead. You feel something on his neck and pull out the chain, connected to his ring.

Carefully you switch your rings, putting your ring on his chain. You reclip your necklace and look at him one more time. “I’ll come for you, Cross. Wait for me.” You give him another kiss and climb down.

--

You get to the hanger and hear the guys calling out for you. You run out and see them lifting Hunter to the ship, and Omega is nowhere to be found. No.

“What happened? Where’s Omega?” You run up to Tech, helping him carry Hunter into the ship.

“We don’t know.” Tech seats Hunter on a chair and the other two join the ship. You remove Hunter’s helmet, and he coughs. 

“Hunter, where is she? Where is Omega!” You move his arms to get to his wound. Blastershot. You grab a bacta patch and start to try stopping the bleeding.

“He took Omega…” Hunter keeps going in and out. I need to stop the bleeding. 

“Who? Crosshair?” Wrecker holds him up, trying to keep him talking.

“No. A bounty hunter. He took her.” Hunter gasps and coughs, trying to get some air. “We have to find her.

“We will Hunter. We will.” You stand back and go to Omega’s room. 

--

Ow. It burns.

Crosshair wakes up to a trooper wrapping his wound.

Where is she? Y/N? No- no no no. She can’t be gone. 

His wound pulses and he winces. 

“I’ll come back for you Cross, I promise.”

He pushes away the trooper. “Get me on that shuttle.”

“I love you so much, just hang in there… you’re still in there.” 

He boards the shuttle, immediately going to the gunner post. He holds his side in pain. 

Wait for me. 

He stops for a moment. He feels too hot, overwhelmed. He lost the target, he-. He notices his necklace isn’t as heavy and sees the ring is different. It’s smaller and silver, but it has the same engraving. O'r gai bal runi. 

Wait for me.

“I can’t Y/N… I’m sorry.” 

“Commander?” 

“Go after their ship, we need to get Private L/N, no matter the cost.” 

“Yes, sir.”

[cupidsbower]

Festivids 2023 reeeecs

What a great year it's been for festivids. There are some stonkingly good vids!

Here is the Masterlist. As always, my recs below are just those I liked most, but there are a lot of other fab vids that are worth a watch as well.

I made six vids this year. A bit astonishing really. I think three of them are really obviously by me, but the rest maybe not so much. Anyway, if you can guess, the guessing post is here: Guess the Vidder.

Two fantastic vids were gifted to me:

Fireflies - Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (2021) - Gen

I watched this movie on a whim one day, and it was sweet and genuine and funny and I loved it way more than I thought I would. This vid captures that perfectly. It's a delight.

Been Caught Stealing - Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) - Gen

This has everything you could want from a D&D vid: it's action-packed, funny, and captures the chaotic energy of the movie really well.

Highly Recommended

And Do It Again - 开端 | Reset (TV 2022) - Teen

Fantastic time-loop vid, which ramps up the tension in the most delightful way.

I'm Gonna Make You Love Me - Christine (1983) - Teen

Christine is the perfect girlfriend. Such a creepy-great premise.

I'm That Queer - Janelle Monáe Music Videos - Teen

Spectacular, surreal, gorgeously edited.

Les Fleurs - Gake no Ue no Ponyo | Ponyo - Gen

This is so lush and dramatic, and sweeps you along in the best way.

a vulture feeds upon that heart forever - Moby Dick - Herman Melville - Mature

All the Moby Dick vids are great - who knew it would be the power fandom of the fest? But while they are all worth a watch, this one is my fave. The soundtrack is lush, and the visuals are over the top, and full of drama. The sources are mixed so beautifully.

Here it Goes Again - Moby Dick - Herman Melville - Teen

This is also a spectacular multi-source feast for the eyes.

Everything I Do - Cocaine Bear (2023) - Teen

LOL. This is just exactly what it sounds like, edited to absolute perfection. The joke couldn't be better executed.

Do What I Do - Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) - Teen

Wonderful character study of Holga.

Tusk - The Silence of the Lambs (1991) - Mature

Clarice is showcased to her best here, and it's gripping.

magnetic - Romeo+Juliet (1996) - Teen

Mercutio vid and it's so much fun!

Recommended

Hard Times - Star Trek: Lower Decks (Cartoon) - Teen

Flirting & Fighting - 新龍門客棧 | Dragon Inn (1992) - Teen

The Only Way to See - Amaury Guichon - Fandom - Gen

Nothing in My Head - Dropout TV RPF - Gen

Feel Better - Silo (TV) - Teen

The Eye of the Tiger - RRR (2022) - Teen

satisfaction - The Quick and the Dead (1995) - Teen

Disaster Party - Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) - Gen

How to make a perfect Hanukkah movie… - Hallmark Movies - Gen

Uja - Slash/Back (2022) - Teen

Didn't Come to Play - Women's sprinting - Gen

The Shape of You - The Pirate (1948) - Gen

The Adventures of Priscilla, Dancing Queen of the Desert - The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert (1994) - Teen

#teamwhale - Moby Dick - Herman Melville - Gen

Queequeg and I - Moby Dick - Herman Melville - Teen

Boys Keep Swinging - As You Like It - Shakespeare - Gen

Dream Girl Evil - Last Night in Soho (2021) - Explicit

Cat Apostle, Conqueror of Asthma, Chosen One Of The Light - 开端 | Reset (TV 2022) - Gen

Andor: Come Forth Now - Andor (TV) - Gen

Bad Reputation - For All Mankind (TV 2019) - Gen

put on a show - The Wheel of Time (TV) - Teen

Upside Down - The Woman King (2022) - Teen

Always On My Mind - Strange Way Of Life (Short Film 2023) - Teen

Trust+Fall - Romeo+Juliet (1996) - Teen

[msfcatlover]

Any Robin steph AUs?

Not specifically built around that concept, though I fully admit my Reverse!Robins AU is very, very Steph-centric (Red Hood!Steph, my beloved…)

For a full Robin!Steph AU, though, I certainly know what I’d want to see, and that tends to be how most of my AUs begin. Let’s see…

I want Steph to have her own chance to lead the Teen Titans, but I’ve very little idea who I would put on her team. 

— My only thought is Argent, because I vaguely remember seeing a page somewhere where Argent was like, “All this hero stuff, I’m just realizing it’s like, real,” and Steph was standing there like, “No shit, Sherlock.”

— Maybe Halo, because I’m reading the original Batman & the Outsiders right now, and Halo’s fun; I think Halo’s flightiness & amnesia-turned-dark-backstory could bounce really well off having Steph for a mentor, since (despite being an agent of chaos,) Steph is actually pretty grounded & realistic in her worldview, and would be a great mentor for the “your past/roots/origin doesn’t have to define you” thing Halo really struggles with. Plus, you could have a running joke of people assuming Halo is the team leader because she’s older & has powers, while Steph is like, “I’M RIGHT! HERE!”

Steph has the right to face off against an evil doppelgänger who isn’t just a shapeshifter mimicking her for a brief time. Clone, alternate self, some sort of VR thing gone wild, I don’t care, I want that “dark reflection” episode, okay?

Steph has the right to foil at least one alien invasion.

Steph has the right to see the ~dark~future~ where she becomes Batman (Steph would make an awesome Batman, in my opinion, but it would require a great tragedy to get her there; she never would if Dick, Tim, Cass, or any of the extended family I don’t know so well were capable of taking up the mantle.) (I believe I have already made my opinions on Batman!Jason & Batman!Damian clear.)

You know that story all the boy Robins get, where they sacrifice themselves for their team, only to actually survive and have everyone reaffirm how loved, valued, & relied upon they are? Yeah, Steph deserves that too.

I think there’s a great running gag in a true Robin!Steph AU where she keeps turning up at Tim’s house to “bail him out,” or ask for advice, and Tim’s dad never realizes Steph is the new Robin, so he’s completely okay with it. He thinks this is Tim having a normal social life.

— I also think there should be an episode where some major event requires all hands on deck while Steph is out with Tim, and Tim has a small crisis over what to do, only for Steph to throw her old Spoiler costume right in his face. “What are you waiting for, dumbass? Suit up!”/“I promised my dad no bat stuff…”/“SPOILER IS NOT A BAT!” Then you get Robin!Steph & Spoiler!Tim fighting back-to-back. 

— Could be a great chance for Tim to formally give his blessing for Steph being Robin at the end when she drops him off at home, as he holds out the folded Spoiler suit to return it (“You kicked a lot of ass out there. You know, for an amateur.”) Steph presses it back into his hands with a smile. (“Keep it. In case of emergency, and all that. Can’t have some civilian risking my rep.”)

Y’know what? I want an episode where Nightwing was supposed to babysit Steph & her team, but he gets de-aged back to like 14 during the mission. Steph’s Titans desperately scramble to find a cure and hide this fact from the adults, while Dick & Steph at first clash over their differences as Robin before bonding over being absolute chaos gremlins (much to the horror of everyone around them.)

— Include a running joke once Dick finds out Steph is technically younger than he is, where he keeps stubbornly calling her his little sister no matter how much Steph protests that she is A) currently older than him, & B) not one of Bruce’s kids.

— Once again, this plot should end with Robin!Dick pausing before taking the cure, and telling Steph he doesn’t know how much of this he’s going to remember when he goes back to normal, but he thinks she makes a pretty awesome Robin. (Then he takes the cure, turns back into Nightwing, and immediately hugs Steph hard enough to lift her off her feet, laughing over her protests and saying he’s just showing his appreciation for his little sister. Steph continues to yell about not being Batman’s kid.)

…That’s all I’ve got off the top of my head. 

[absolutesort]

day 28 — frankie & miles.

setting :  gym  /   casa amor.

time :  after the breath holding contest  /  naked race  /  casa pool orgy. 

featuring :    miles  /   @heatwayve

frankie.

after the pool, and the streaking race, frankie’s recovered from her little emotional blip, now decked out in her baseball shirt and gym shorts as she works out on the peloton. she’s not really thinking about what caused it — has chalked it down to exhaustion after she’d nearly drowned to prove a point — but it hardly matters now. when she clocks miles approaching, she swipes her thumb across the display, checking her time and programming an early finish. “come to gloat about your superior lung capacity?” she asks a little breathlessly, as the bike slows and she dismounts, picking up a dumbbell as she makes her way across to meet him. if she’s going to pausing her workout for him, then she at least needs something to do with her hands. “or are you just here to flex your muscles, hoping i compare you to ‘the rock’ so you can stick it in your instagram bio?” grinning, she lifts her dumbbell up, working her bicep.

miles.

"don't have to gloat, you already know who's got it best," miles winks, a bit of confidence after winning their competition – especially after so many had bet against him. he was a little worried that maybe he'd took it too far after she left, but he couldn't let a girl beat him . . . something about that feels anti-feminist, actually. "but we can say i got lucky if it makes you feel better," he teases, starting to like...work out and lift stuff or whatever men do in the gym? whatever anyone does in the gym who am i kidding. sorry about this. "believe it or not," he says, "i was just working out. but if you want to start drawing comparisons like that, be my guest, certainly not gonna argue with you," he adds, matter-of-factly. he pauses for a moment, wanting to broach the question but not sure where they stand on the friendship meter. he goes for it anyway. "you okay?"

frankie.

“got what, exactly?” miles winks at her, and she feels something inside her go pliant. it only lasts a second, snapping out of it just as quickly with a slow blink of her eyes. confidence is sexy on him. she’d felt a brief flash of it at the pool, when he’d burst from the water's surface, shaken out his hair and pelted her with water — had almost said as much, but then she’d thought of callie and it had suddenly felt less hot. clutching her invisible pearls, she becomes (for a second) girlish and insufferable,  “gee, you’d do that for me?” before a roll of her eyes signals she’s out of it, and she drops down to pick up another dumbbell. “whatever you do, don’t say ‘got lucky’ and my name in the same sentence to josh, or he’ll start a rumour that i sucked your dick in the pool or whatever.” frankie considers the mechanics of that for a moment, whether it would actually be possible. “underwater dick sucking, though. that's hardcore.” nodding affirmatively, not an ounce of insincerity to her tone, she adds. “that's a contest i wanna see. could probably be an olympic sport.” an insult to athletes everywhere. his question catches her off-guard. it feels like there’s a weight to it, rather than it just being a casual tag-on phrase, like it’s an are you okay rather than a hey, you okay?’  lips pursing, she focuses her attention on pumping iron. “um… yeah?” frankie pauses, uncertainly. had he caught her little houdini act? she’d thought she was being discreet. “why would i not be? are you okay?”

miles.

"lung capacity. but if you still don't believe me, i'm sure there's other ways i could demonstrate..." trails off with a shrug. honestly, miles still isn't sure what's considered 'too far', but he's happy to play anything off as joking if she needs him to, even if he's not joking. they haven't broached the subject of callie in particular, and miles certainly doesn't want to be the first to bring her up. if callie looks half as good in person as she looks on tv, his odds are not great. "yeah, that'd be a baller rumor, to be fair, if you could do that," a pause, "can you do that?" seems like it'd be hard to get good suction. and forget swallowing, obviously. however logistically impossible, though, frankie has put an image in his head. miles can see in her eyes the way she averts her attention, fairly certain she wouldn't do that if it was actually nothing. "i dunno. you just disappeared pretty quick after the competition and i wasn't sure where you'd gone off to, so . . ." soft smile on his lips, even if she's too busy averting her eyes to catch it, "just wanted to be sure. i know it's a weird day."

frankie.

her breath doesn’t stop, but it pauses, renders her for a second motionless, dumbbells frozen in the air as she stares dumbly ahead. “are you flirting with me?” frankie asks, up front, both as a way of calling him out and forcing him to admit it. her smile pinches up into her cheeks as she drops one dumbbell into the grass, then the other, turning to look at him. there’s a part of her that tells her to walk away now, the edward cullen mirage in bella’s brain whenever she willingly puts herself in danger, but her gut instinct is to stay, see how this plays out, because right now it feels pretty harmless, just her new friend casually flirting, and part of her likes the thrill of it. frankie doesn’t respond for a second, just watches him work out, wipes the sweat from her brow and considers doing another cycle on the peloton. instead, she drops down into the grass, sits picking it from the root, her attention diverted between the wig of foliage she’s making for her sneakers and miles. “are you asking if a person, theoretically, could do that? or if i, specifically, could do that?” the answer doesn’t change, either way. “i dunno. i’d have to do a controlled experiment, repeated under the same circumstances, and collect the data.” speaking about it in practical terms somehow only adds to the joke. if it is a joke. she’s never really sure. “maybe josh would be up for it. i mean, what’s a little dick sucking between pals?” hand cupping over the side of her face to block out the sun, she watches him, attempting to gauge his angle. “it wasn’t the competition. i’m not a sore loser, don’t worry. i just…” shoulders lifting, her free hand skims through the grass. “i didn’t feel like being butt naked in front of a bunch of strangers the first day i met them. i mean, callie hasn’t even seen me naked yet, so…” her voice trails off. “why? d’you think i’m boring because i didn’t go skinny dipping?”

miles.

her question prompts a sheepish grin. "dunno," he's lifting a weight, biding his time before he meets her gaze, noticing she's stopped everything to look at him. "d'ya want me to be?" it's a bit of a bold question, like sure, he's putting the ball in her court, but just as easily giving her permission to bust his balls if she likes. he's really not expecting much from this, especially as they're just getting to know one another, he just likes the game of it. not the love island game, but their game – the playful back and forth, the ease of it. he's still lifting weights or whatever. "either one, i guess," he laughs out loud at her question, "if you specifically can do it, i think it answers both. you got those kind of skills?" asked so casually, like he's asking if she knows how to double-dutch or something. "aw, no," miles groans as she continues forth, "not josh. hasn't his dick already got enough attention?" it's mostly said in jest, but yeah, he'd be a little jel. miles hasn't got any angle in asking if frankie's okay – sure, they just met, but he likes hanging around her. and he's not the kind of person that needs to know someone intimately in order to give a shit about them, he likes her for free. "of course i don't think you're boring," her question is mocking, but he answers it sincerely. "you instigated a competition that got half the villa running around with their ass out. you're the least boring person in here."

frankie.

miles turns her question on its head, flips it back at her so casually, yet it’s direct enough that she feels like even asking it is flirting. the pause between when he speaks and when he looks at her feels pregnant. it’s hot, and she’s thankful he isn’t near her, or he might notice the brief intake of breath. “maybe...” she states, far more casually than she feels, eyes still fixed on him. “haven’t decided yet. can we take a rain check on this conversation? i’ll get back to you when i know.” she’s happy to be out of that territory, which feels risky and uncharted—talking shit about underwater dick-sucking competitions on the other hand feels safe and goofy and harmless, like nothing will actually come of it, it’s just fun to think about. his groan has her snorting. “yeah, you’re right. josh was just the first one that came to mind.” probably because he had his junk out after the streaker race earlier, clearly proud of it, wanting to give the bombshells an eyeful. if callie were here, they’d both be groaning in unison, tiredly exclaiming men! at the never-ending dick measuring contest.  “i’d have to get a few results though. do the cross-section of the villa. dylan’s obviously out.” she’s not going to suck callie’s brother's dick in her imaginary experiment. “which leaves marcus. or you.” the edge to her tone is playful, bordering on teasing, because if he wasn’t thinking about it before, he’ll be thinking about it now—both of them navigating a game they refuse to acknowledge they’re even playing.

his sincerity disarms her. it seems to cut through her defences like a trojan horse, which she probably should have expected ; she’s the one who’d pre-emptively written him off as too nice. “yeah, okay. you’re right again. i’m super fun, whatever.” collecting the grass that she’s been threading into her shoelaces, frankie stands up and makes her way over to miles on the bench press. she isn’t sure how to respond to his compliment in a serious way, without it cutting through the tough-as-nails exterior and exposing the vulnerability underneath. hard shell, soft centre, like a creme egg. instead, she holds her hand out above his head, and drops the grass down onto his face. “keep this shit up and you’re well on your way to becoming one of my favourite people in this villa.”

miles.

he kind of expected flat-out rejection, so the way frankie hesitates is both surprising and encouraging – probably going to be a problem that it fills him with a bit of hope, something that could get the best of him later. but sue him for being an optimist about it. smile curves the corner of his lips as he nods, "okay," he affirms, a glint in his eyes, "you just keep me posted. but it's probably gonna come up again, just so you know." if she couldn't tell, of course. he looks at her curiously for a moment longer, wishing he could like, crack open her skull and see what's going on inside her head – in the most non-psychopathic way possible, of course. he just wishes he knew what she was thinking. "ugh, stop saying that. picture anyone else," miles laughs, because he's just met josh and already knows the guy would be way too fucking pleased with this conversation. even if josh is fit, miles was definitely a bigger fan of seeing dylan stripped down. but i digress. miles knows from the show that marcus and frankie do have a bit of a vibe, doesn't pass him by. but he's also not bothered by it. "up to you. don't make me beg for it," he jokes, though there's an almost devilish look in his eyes as he says it. miles isn't surprised that frankie dismisses his words, defenses hardening like a shell around her as quick as he's spoken. he'd never take them back, though, clmpletely meant it. instead he's shaking grass off his face with a laugh, "christ, not while i'm benching. you could kill a guy," he says, putting the weight aside. "and while i'm on my way towards such a title, too," he adds, scooping up a handful of grass and tossing it back at her, though it mostly flutters in the air and packs little punch – it's about the sentiment. "who's your favorite, then? let me suss out the competition at least."

frankie.

there was the answer she’d wanted to give him, and the answer she should have given him. the one that ended up leaving her mouth had fallen somewhere in the middle, not a straight up rejection, but not an invitation to hook his truck to her engine and graft full steam ahead either. “sure. and until then, just do your thing, and i’ll tell you if it’s grossing me out.” although honestly, she can’t imagine miles ever making anyone feel uncomfortable. and frankie isn’t grossed out all that easily. flirting’s harmless. everyone flirts. it isn’t a big deal that he’s asked her if she vibes with it — but any answer she gives might feel like a big deal to callie, and he makes it easy to forget there are cameras around. “anyone else? okay, then: steve buscemi.” an image she absolutely doesn’t want in her mind. “you sound jealous,” frankie adds, cackling, when he groans again. “either that, or you hate him. you know josh is majorly pimping you out right?” her mouth twitches, eyes darting between his, wishing she could photograph that glint in his eye and keep it in her pocket. but that would be weird, right?  “oh, i’d totally make you beg.” now it’s her turn to look wicked. she’s on a slippery slope for the sake of humour. “on your hands and knees, gimp mask and everything. you seem like the type to have one, no offence.” the thought has her laughing, suddenly rendered squeamish and wincing, though she attempts to pull it together for his sake. "am i weirding you out yet, miles?” it isn’t any different to how she’d speak to josh or marcus, provocative jokes that border on obscene, but with miles there’s an edge to it, some unknown element that comes with the newness of him and makes her feel the need to tag on “joking” just so he doesn’t think she’s a freak.

 frankie wants to be his friend, to tap in below the surface level of benching weights, smiling at everything, and laughing at her dirty jokes to find out what he’s about, but it's difficult when she isn't sure what being his friend could become. the grass he throws barely even grazes her, nose wrinkling at his weak effort as she takes a seat on the end of the bench, when he sets aside his weights. “you want me to rank my friends? give you my myspace top ten? that's soooo 2008...” she pulls her legs against her chest, hugging them close, chin resting against her knees. “in here, probably dylan. marcus is a close second. i like phoebe. adela, too. still not sure where you fit in.” there's something very high school about all this. "who do you like?" 

miles.

she's a little hard to read on the whole 'are you still open to getting to know people' front. which, miles is okay with not asking outright. he'd rather exist in this limbo with her, not force her into giving him a 'no' when it could stay a 'maybe.' it's part of that whole 'not putting pressure on it' thing – but if she is going to tell him no eventually, part of him rather would have this time for a bit instead, because it's so much more fun when they're still exploring the possibility of potential. "oh, i know for damn sure you'd tell me if i was grossing you out," miles laughs, because while he's only known frankie briefly, he's already gathered that she doesn't hold back. "steve buscemi," he echoes with a grin, "sexy. solid choice. i especially liked him in g-force." is he joking? hard to say. we'll leave it in mystery. miles smiles again, though it's faint, "could be. a bit. if you were into him, sure," he adds, daring to look at her when he does. "he's what?" now that makes miles laugh, "it doesn't really seem like it's working." clearly he's not doing it very subtly. but maybe it's gonna work in his favor in the long run – he'll make fun of it out loud, for frankie's sake, but in miles' head he believes that josh knows exactly what he's doing. there's a brief flash of surprise at her response before he bursts out laughing, "yeah, wouldn't that be a vision. you like picturing me like that?" he jokes, watching her wince, which just makes him laugh more. he shakes his head, "i'm cool with weird." if anything, frankie so far's pretty vanilla compared to some of the shit the guys on the team will say, especially after a few pints.

"you just love making fun of everything," he points out, sitting up on the bench, no longer working out. she has his attention. "guess we'll have to keep hanging out so that you can figure it out," he offers. "dunno. josh seems sound. i think phoebe and i are gonna be good friends. and, you know, still figuring out where you fit in. don't wanna rank you too high if you're gonna put me in the pits."

frankie.

you know for damn sure, do you?” frankie fires back, taking the energy he’s throwing to her and tossing it straight back at him. “wow. he has one conversation with a girl and thinks he knows everything about her…” she can shut it down however she wants, but in truth it feels like she’s known miles longer than that ; the second they started speaking the jokes were flowing and that new-villa, new-people awkwardness was gone, like he just somehow got her energy and what she’s about. she wishes callie could meet him. callie. something twists in her stomach, though it doesn’t last long before he’s ripping her out of it in a laugh. “g-force!?” where the fuck did they find this little freak? “god, what a batshit reference.” it’s clear from the way she’s laughing, belly-deep and totally uninhibited, that she means it as a compliment. “yeah, steve buscemi’s total stud. he’s actually my ‘free pass’ celebrity, so if they throw him in as a bombshell, you’ll have to fight me for him.” the idea of competing with miles at something, again, is one she can get behind. she loves to beat a man at something they’re good at, but miles’ reaction to his win earlier had made her loss seem almost worth it.  “i’m not into josh,” she answers, flatly. even the idea of it feels ludicrous. “and honestly you’re doing a better job of selling yourself than he is, so…” shrugging, she buries her head in her knees for a second and groans, hoping that he doesn’t read too much into what she’s saying and decide to make this difficult for her. "i should probably work out..." she’d come here to work out, and she feels like she should work out, but he’s side-tracked her with this conversation and now the stupid shit he has to say seems way more interesting than a ten-minute squat circuit or boxing the heavy bag. “the gimp mask, not so much. but on your knees? sure.” she swallows, looking for an exit route where she comes out of this still able to feel like she hasn’t done anything wrong. 

they can be friends. this is just friendly, right? somehow, she’s struggling to convince herself, but give it a day or two, when the bombshells are less like shiny new toys and more like a mild annoyance, and frankie will probably be back to starting every other sentence with callie said the funniest thing today. he sits up on the bench and she feels herself stiffen, then relax when it's apparent he isn't going to walk away. “is that a problem?” she asks, when he tells her she likes to make fun of things. “i can be serious.” she pulls what she hopes comes across as a serious face, all furrowed eyebrows and inquisitive eyes, her mouth flat and contemplative. “i can talk about the real crap. it’s just easier to be silly, sometimes.” it’s probably a defence mechanism, but she likes it that way. few have tried to dig beneath the surface with frankie castro, and even fewer have succeeded.  “we can keep hanging out. and you’re not in the pits, you’re like, hovering around the top four mark. if this was a job interview, i’d get you to do a trial shift.” with the pace of their conversation slowed from frenzied and energetic to something more real, she takes the opportunity to address his reason for coming here. “thank you. for checking on me.” she’d kind of laughed it off, earlier — made his comment about her being the antithesis of boring into another joke when she'd needed someone to settle the brief pang of doubt. “i’m good. better now.” her lips pull up in a half-smile, and she shuffles her foot across the bench press to touch the toe of her sneaker against his.

miles.

"hey, not everything!" miles laughs, throwing up his hands in surrender, "just one thing, and it's that you'd call me out. is that not true?" frankie's the kind of person who seems like she's got an opinion anything and everything, and miles would like to ask her about all of them if they had the time for it. they probably could get going on a singular topic for over an hour, anyway, if their first conversation is any indication enough. "only batshit if you don't have taste. what's your favorite buscemi? there are wrong answers, by the way," miles warns her, though he's just talking out of his ass, a little preoccupied by the sound of her laughter, full and unconstrained, the kind of laugh that'd have your neighbors knocking on the door of your apartment telling you to 'quiet down, it's after midnight.' dangerous laughter, even. "you sure you wanna compete with me again?" he asks, wicked grin – it's not so much the imaginary challenge that his him going but more so messing with her. "alright. i don't mind fighting you. you're on." her flat denial prompts a laugh, shaking his head, "glad to know i rank above josh. though by the way you've said that, i've got this suspicion  that the bar is low..." still, he files the information away for later, like it's a mensa puzzle. if miles ranks above josh, and marcus ranks below callie, but marcus doesn't have a ranking next to josh or miles, where does miles rank? the math is impossible, needs more data. "go ahead, work out, i'm not stopping you," he says, tone rife with amusement. yeah, he still can't figure out where the fuck he stands with her still. just as she's pushing him away, she's pulling him back in, drawing some kind of mental picture where he's on his knees for her. he can't help but take the bait, nodding, "no need to picture it. i could do that for you," he says. even if she's looking away, his eyes are still on her, almost daring her to look back this time. 

this . . . friendship or whatever is, though, is still new, and he's still treading water, not entirely sure how annoyed she is with him when she presses her lips together like that. he doesn't totally buy it, "like you're being right now?" he asks, smile tugging at the corner of his lips, "no. it's not a problem. it's kinda fun how you have a little comment on everything." he doesn't doubt that she can talk about real crap, though, he's not asking her to like, bare her soul when they've just met. he just thinks its funny, like he's constantly amused by her. "top four, hey!" add that to the mensa math puzzle, miles is above josh and he's in the top four. "nice," does a mini fist-pump to demonstrate his total enthusiasm, though it's a little sarcastic. "i'd just give you the job, so," he adds. no trial necessary, but he's trusting like that. features soften when she thanks him, not expecting her to get even semi-serious with him. he blinks once, just processing. "oh," he nods with a soft intake of breath, "yeah, of course." this is the point where he sees it, the center of the cadbury creme egg – for a moment. there's warmth in his chest and he couples the feeling with an almost nervous laugh, the inclination to make a joke out of it rising in his chest, something to make her snap back at him again, "don't thank me yet. maybe i was just disappointed not to see you strip down. proper douchey of me, really."

frankie.

when he raises his hands in surrender (nice—more of men doing this, please) frankie takes the opportunity to land a quick one-two punch, right hand jab meeting his right palm, left one crossing to hit into his left hand. she wonders how he’d fare against her in a ring, i’m a fucking athlete ringing in her ears like a battle cry.  “fave buscemi’s probably spy kids 2 or the big lebowski. yeah, yeah, pedestrian taste, i know, but i don’t fuck with boss baby.”  she finds babies in general a bit weird, doesn’t really get that maternal instinct women often talk about, unless they’re baby animals.  “d’you want babies?” eyes wide, she feels the need to clarify, “fucking hell, not with me. just generally…” but obviously his head won’t go there, so now she’s the one who looks like an idiot for taking it there. she can imagine miles as a dad, actually. even though she’s only known him for like, a day, she knows he’d be a good one, can imagine him throwing kids over his shoulders to whisk them off to bed, and camping in the pennines or whatever the fuck dads do in ireland. “i was going easy on you,” she teases, regarding the competition. “obviously i wanna compete with you.” it’s like her primary form of bonding. he’d been so focused in the pool that he wouldn’t even let her distract him, (and she’d tried) and now she’s thinking about the offer earlier to watch him play, how focused he must look when he’s on the pitch, the determination in his eyes. he says he isn’t stopping her, but the look she gives him is skeptical, eyebrows arched, because obviously he’s stopping her. “you are,” she says, eyes hard set as she fixed them on him ; he’s a distraction in every sense of the word. her expression falters slightly when he tells her there’s no need to imagine it, heat in her neck that climbs up to her face. she can feel it pricking her ears, and for a second she can’t respond, just stare, tempted to tell him to put his money where his mouth is and do it.

his little fist pump is goofy as fuck, but cute, and her laugh is the wheezing kind of sound that isn’t so much a laugh but more a humoured exhaling of breath. “you tryna be my best friend?” she asks, clearly amused by his desire to rank above josh, above dylan, perhaps even above callie. this time, when she speaks of their friendship with that teasing edge to her voice, she isn’t trying to friendzone him—it’s more like she’s trying to draw attention to the fact that whatever this thing is, it’s not just friends ; it hangs its legs over the edge of friendship and dangles its toes into something else entirely. or at least it does if the scene on the lawn when he’d tackled her and she’d felt the shift of a tectonic plate beneath her feet is anything to go by. there’s a moment when she falters, loses sight of herself for a second, but he turns it all into a joke, drawing her out of that territory and bringing her zinging back like snapped elastic into the safety of her comfort zone. “ yeah, that’s fucking disgusting, actually, and i think you should have your hands cut off.” kinda defeats the point that she’s beaming as she says it. “just so we’re on the same page.”  is it bad that she sort of likes him douchey? she likes him funny too, and when he’s sensitive. in fact, frankie’s starting think that maybe it’s just miles she likes, and not the versions he cuts up and box ships out to her. pushing to her feet, she decides she will work out, though not without her hands gripping the hem of her baseball shirt, and tugging it up to her neck. “miles,” she calls, flashing him a glimpse of her sports bra—it’s not at all sexy (anything he might be interested in is seeing covered up) but it’s funny which is what she cares about.  picking up her boxing wraps, she slides one over the back of her hand, stuffing a glove beneath each arm. “wanna catch my hands?” honestly, as long as he’s got basic reflexes, he’d probably make an alright blocker. “i’ll go easy on you."

[writing-wh0re]

October 7th. Kinky Halloween Special Masterlist

Kink: Daddy

Au!Fred x Reader.

Words: 2,524.

Warnings: Smut18+, Unprotected Sex, Female Performing Oral, Male Performing Oral, Dirty Talk, Daddy Dom Fred, Praise. Best-friends Dad (Age Gap) 

*Nova is my own character. 

The moment Nova had suggested that I tag along with her for the summer and stay at her dad’s lake house, I couldn’t refuse. I was so excited. 

One, the lake house is in the prime location, bars are within walking distance, the pool is immaculate and the view was something else all together. 

Two, Nova’s dad, Fred. 

God Fred was the definition of Dilf. 

The first time I noticed my school girl crush was Nova’s 21st birthday. Fred had booked out a private Yacht and invited most of the people from our classes. It was sweet and probably the happiest I have seen Nova. However, I spent most of the night at the top of the Yacht drinking and joking around with Fred, both of us wanting to escape the crowd. That night solidified my crush for the older man, especially the second his fingertips brushed my knee which caused my skin to erupt with goosebumps and my breath to catch in my throat. I could have sworn Fred’s eyes lingered on my cleavage a little too much that night but I’m sure it was the alcohol swirling through my veins. 

“Ready?” Nova’s voice pulls me from my thoughts, her suitcase behind her. 

“Definitely.” I confirm zipping my case and following Nova out of our dorm, excitement and nervous bubbling inside of me. 

\\//

Nova pushes the large dark wood door open, the smell of cinnamon and apple filling the air, light chatter bouncing off the walls. 

“I think my uncle is here.” Nova mumbles, leaving her suitcase on the ground and walking through the house. I follow her lead, ditching my suitcase and taking in the beautifully styled home. 

“Hey Dad, uncle George.” 

I almost faint on the spot, there’s Fred and a literal duplicate of Fred.

“Uh Dad you remember Y/n, George this is my best friend Y/n.” I smile weakly at the pair as George smiles at me.

“Good to see you again Y/n.” Fred smiles, I notice George side eye Fred quickly raising his eyebrows before taking a sip of his drink. Fred simply smirks, nodding softly, his eyes lingering on me before darting over to Nova. I frown my eyebrows together trying to understand what they are silently talking about, surely not me. I shake the thought from my head, of course two grown men haven't been talking about me, especially not my best friend's dad. Get it together Y/n. 

“So, what do you have planned for this summer?” George asks, his eyes flicking between Nova and I. 

“Definitely hitting the bars, soaking in the sun and maybe finding a man or two.” Nova winks as she hands me a glass of wine. 

“A man?” Fred questions. 

“Or two?” George questions both of them laughing at each other. 

“It's summer, why not have a little fun?” The second the words leave my lips I feel a blush creep upon my face, Fred and George both chuckling in response. 

“Maybe we should go have some summer fun Freddie.” George smirks causing Nova to gag slightly. 

“Right, that's our cue to leave.” Nova mumbles quickly downing the rest of her glass and walking back inside the house. 

“Uh.” The heat returns to my body as I get left alone with Fred and George. I leave my glass on the table in front of me and walk inside the house, once inside I turn back to take in Fred’s appearance one last time. My breath hitches in my throat and butterflies erupt inside of me as our eyes lock together. I hurriedly look away and rush through the house to get ready for the night with Nova. 

Coincidence. Just a simple Coincidence. 

\\// 

Nova and I had been dancing for hours, the music thumped through my chest, the alcohol flowed through my veins and my mind kept wandering to Fred, curious as to what he is doing right now. 

“Hey, this is Tom and we’re getting out of here.” Nova squeals excitedly, pulling a blonde guy behind her before I even have a chance to respond. 

“Seriously?” I yell, my voice falling silent over the sound of the music. I follow behind the pair, hoping to catch Nova and ask if she is seriously leaving me in the club right now. 

“Hey!” 

Nova’s body disappears into a cab before she has the chance to hear me. 

“Fuck.” I huff, the cool breeze hitting my exposed skin. Only a three minute walk back to the house, I tell myself. I quickly check the time, 11:45pm, Fred will definitely be asleep and won’t question Nova’s hodiny act. 

The walk back was quick and almost claiming. The sound of the wind blowing in the trees, owls hooting and the crispy moon light shining along the streets. 

The walk back to the house had definitely sobered me up, now fully aware of how loud my heels are against the pavement. I decide to slip my heels off before walking on the wooden deck, not wanting to disturb Fred. I search through my bag, trying to find the house key but coming up empty handed. 

“Fuck you Nova.” I mumble, slightly lifting up the doormat with my foot in hopes of a spare key, but no luck. Right as I’m about to walk around the back and sleep on the deck chairs the door pulls open. 

Fred and George both laugh and continue their conversation before their eyes land on me. 

“Oh Y/n, hello again.” George smiles. 

“Um, hey.” I smile back. My eyes quickly flick to Fred his toned chest on full display and loose grey sweatpants hanging on his hips. 

“Everything okay? You’re missing Nova.” Fred asks, slight worry filling his voice. 

“Yeah no, everything is fine, Nova is making her summer fun with Tom?” I question wondering if I should even be telling her father and uncle this. 

The twins laugh at my question, both shaking their heads. 

“Well I will see you later, nice meeting you y/n.” George smiles, “Enjoy your summer Freddie.” George’s eyes look me up and down before he walks past me, the sound of his car unlocking in the near distance. 

“Excuse me.” I mumble pushing past Fred as he stands in the doorway, I quickly drop my shoes with the others at the door, wanting to rush away to my room. 

“So why aren’t you out making your summer fun with a guy?” 

I feel my mouth go dry at his question, how do I answer this without saying it’s because of you dumbass. 

“The guy’s I typically go for aren’t hanging around at clubs.” Fred raises his eyebrow, his eyes flicking from my lips and back to my eyes. 

“What kind of guys do you go for?” 

Now's your chance, say it's him, if it goes badly act super drunk and blame it on that. I take a deep breath after listening to the internal battle with myself. 

“Guys that choose to stay in with their brothers and drink.” The moment the sentence flows through the air, my cheeks heat up, both with nerves and regret. 

Fred smirks, licking his lips before walking towards me. I back away from him slightly before my back hits the wall. 

“Is that so? Darling, I'm old enough to be your father” 

“That has never been an issue for me… daddy.” 

Fred groans before locking his lips with mine. I moan into the kiss, the sweet taste of cinnamon whiskey on his tongue as our tongues fight for dominance. His hands roam my body, falling to the middle of my back and pulling me flush against his chest. My fingers lace in his hair, tugging on the strands. 

“This is wrong.” I pant, pulling away from the kiss as our chests rise and fall. 

“Say the word and I stop.” Fred’s eyes search mine for any hesitation before I close the gap between us. His hands fall to my thighs picking me up in one swift motion and slowly walking us to his bedroom. My red dress hikes up my thighs with every step closer to the room, my black lace panties on full display. I pull my lips away from Fred’s kissing down his neck before discovering his sweet spot. His fingers grip my ass tight, moans falling from his lips. 

A surprised squeal escapes me as Fred drops me on his bed, his eyes lingering on my body. Before he has the chance to ask me I pull my dress from my skin, leaving me in just my panties, thankful that my dress didn’t require a bra. 

“Jesus.” Fred steps back, taking in the sight of me half naked and under him, egar for him. 

“Daddy please.” The nickname causes his eyes to roll back slightly, a low sigh passing his lips as he cages me in against the mattress, kissing my lips before trailing kisses down my neck towards my boobs. I arch my back causing my nipple to press against his tongue more, his teeth pulling at the hardening nub. 

“Yes, daddy.” 

Fred smirks, chuckling as the slight vibration rumbles against my skin. 

“I’ve barely touched you babygirl, look at you, so needy and eager for me.” 

“Only you.” 

My words pull yet another chuckle from his lips. Fred’s fingertips trail along the waistband on my panties causing a shiver to run down my spine. He leans down over my body, his warm breath fanning against my neck. 

“Get on your knees.” Within a second I am on my knees looking up at him. “Fuck, such a good girl.” 

I softly nod in response, my hand palming his evident erection through his sweatpants. Fred hisses at the contact before ridding himself of the clothing. 

A whimper escapes me at the sight of his hard cock. Longer and thicker than I had imagined but everything I need. 

Without being asked I take his dick in my hand, pumping up and down as I lightly swirl my tongue around the head. 

“Yes baby.” Fred’s fingers loop in my hair, holding it out of the way to ensure he gets the perfect view of his cock disappearing into my throat. I bob my head up and down his length, my tongue swirling and my cheeks hollowing out. Fred’s cock leaves my lips with a pop, he grabs his dick and slowly slides it up and down my tongue moaning at the sight. 

“Fucking perfect.” My eyes roll back at the praise, arousal leaking down my thighs and my mind hoping this isn’t some twisted dream. 

Fred pulls me up by my arms, his lips finding mine again in a hungry kiss. His fingertips brush against my clothed pussy before slipping past the fabric and rubbing my swollen clit. I hiss at the contact, Fred moans at the feeling of my wetness. 

“Daddy’s girl likes sucking dick huh?” 

“Makes her little pussy drip?” 

“Does my princess touch herself to the thought of me?” 

I meekly nod in response not wanting the pleasure to stop, however Fred stops his movements causing me to whimper. 

“Daddy asked you a question darling, do you think of me when you cum?” 

“Y-yes.” 

“Good girl.” He presses a quick kiss to the side of my head before he pushes me back onto the bed, ripping the panties from my skin. His tongue presses flat against my clit as I sigh with pleasure and surprise. 

“Daddy.” 

Fred hums against my pussy, swirling his tongue in a figure eight motion as my fingers grip the bed sheets. Fred continues to lap at my cunt, savouring the taste before his hands find mine, lacing our fingers together. 

“Fuck.” I moan as I look down at Fred, his eyes catching mine while swiping his tongue side to side. 

“Yes, fuck, oh I’m close.” I regret saying the words the second Fred pulls away from me. 

“No baby, you’re cumming on my cock.” Butterflies fill my stomach at his words, truly hoping this is really happening. 

Fred lays down next to me on the bed, grabbing my hips and guiding me to straddle his waist. His hand falls behind my neck, our lips meet in a brief kiss before being broken by my moans. Fred slides inside of me, stretching my walls perfectly. 

“So big daddy.” My fingernails drag down his chest earning a hiss from his lips. After a few seconds of adjusting to his size I rock my hips back and forth, keeping my hands placed on his chest for balance. 

“Beautiful.” Blush fills my cheeks at his praise, his soft hands rubbing up and down my sides. I keep my rhythm, every now and again swirling my hips for a different sensation, one that pulls the most delicious moans from his lips. Fred’s hands grip my ass, spanking the supple skin as I cry out in pleasure. 

“Is this what you like, baby? Taking control and fucking daddy?” I hum in response as my eyes flutter closed basking in the feeling of his cock hitting my g-spot. Fred’s hands move to my back, flipping us over as I gasp. 

“Only I can make you feel this good.” 

My lips part and my eyes squeeze shut at the new angle. Fred’s resting on his knees with my legs against his chest, ankles resting on his shoulders, his hands groping my boobs. 

“Look at you squirming on my cock, ruining you for any other man.” 

“God daddy yes.” 

“You’re mine.” 

“Only yours daddy.” 

Fred grunts at my response, his pace picking up as he starts to rub fast circles on my clit. 

“Yes!” I cry out, my pussy clenching around him. “Just like that.” 

“You cum when I say.” 

I huff, digging my nails into the comforter as I scream and cry out. 

“Daddy please, please let me cum.” 

Fred grunts, licking his lips.

“Mmm hold it for me.” 

My eyes roll back as my back arches off the mattress. 

“Daddy, please!” 

I feel Fred’s cock twitch inside of me, a deep moan filling the air. 

“Fucking cum for me Y/n.” 

A shiver runs down my spine, my body tenses as Fred’s name passes my lips. My mind feels foggy and my vision blurs. Fred grips my legs, his hips faltering as his hot release fills me. 

Fred pulls out of me, both of us sighing, our chests rising and falling, sweat glistening on our bodies. 

“Thank you.” I blurt out, feeling tiredness wash over me. 

“No need to thank me Darling.” He places a soft kiss to my lips as I feel my eyelids get heavier, not even bothering to move as sleep envelops me. 

\\//

I wake up the next morning to the sun shining through the blinds. Instantly everything floods back from last night. I quickly lift up the bedsheets, my naked body confirming that it wasn’t just a dream. 

“Morning.” Fred mumbles, his morning voice sending wetness straight to my pussy. 

“Morning.” I whisper a goofy smile on my face. Fred pulls me into him, his nose brushing against mine before our lips meet in the middle. 

“Hey dad, have you see- WHAT THE FUCK?”

\\// 

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[chil2de]

Your sharing a bed with the JJK men hc's were incredible 😩 special mentions for Megumi's bed head, Nanami being a secret cuddle bug, and Yuuta having to drink both iced coffees (that fucking sent me fjdndnfd I could picture it so clearly).

You're super talented so could I, er, possible get a NSFW version? 👀 💳💥💥💥💳💳💥💳💥

Thank you so much 🥺💕

hello anonie!!! thank you dear i’m so glad you liked them!! please the credit card emojis had me cackling LMFAOOOO you really made my whole day out here!!!(THE ICED COFFEE WAS MY FAVOURITE PART TOO)

well i managed to hit the max amount of characters allowed in a tumblr post with five characters alone so i’m going to have to split this up into several posts. it just kinda happened ig

characters in this post: itadori yuuji, gojo satoru, okkotsu yuuta, fushiguro toji (megumi was supposed to be here but i had to reserve him for next post😔)

this work is nsfw. if you’re new here, please read my disclaimer before proceeding. thank you and enjoy!

based off of this post

itadori

- itadori would prob be a ‘deer in the headlights’ if you woke him up in the middle of the night

- but after that? shit, he’s so nice to you. so kind and generous for his baby girl. whether he’s fucking you ‘cause he thinks you might be able to sleep after an orgasm or there’s just an incessant desire for him- doesn’t really matter all that much to itadori. he loves you either way :)

- gets horny so easily LMFAO

- would 100% dick you down if you asked him to and i like to think that he still keeps his really sweet personality during sex cause aaaa he would be so soft and reassuring

- hardcore dom yuuji sounds sexy as all hell but let’s be real… this man won’t kill a fly and apologises for stepping on ants. only exception being angry sex but overall reserving hard dom for sukuna :)

you pepper tiny kisses onto itadori’s face, treating him with the utmost care like handling fine china. his skin feels so soft against your lips, and he smells very faintly of milky soap. there’s some traces of brand cologne on his shirt, as well as his natural scent.

“yuuujiii-“ you coo, blowing air very gently. when he doesn’t stir, you run your fingertips through a bundle of his cotton candy tainted hair. it evokes a reaction from him, so you continue to press him.

“y-uuuu-ji!”

after a few moments, itadori lets out a soft whine before grumbling incoherent blabber. “i won’t eat the pineapple! kugisaki will scream at me!”

you giggle before prodding him again, when finally he relents and jolts awake, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted at how close your face is to his.

“‘s it morning yet?” he wrinkles his nose, stifling a yawn. you emit a hum in thought before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling you into him. itadori squeaks in surprise when he feels you latch your lips onto his neck, suckling and carefully breaking the bonds underneath his sensitive skin. his moan comes out groggy, still laced with sleep.

“that drives me crazy, you know that, right?” itadori laughs, though his voice comes as a wobble.

“i know. and they look so good on you too, hm?” you giggle, caressing one hand from his neck and then down to the hem of his shirt. your fingertips flutter against his bare skin and he shivers physically and audibly. you smooth your palm flat along his chest, dragging your nails carefully against his muscles.

“kinda.. wanna.. go to.. sleep.. but i don’t.. wanna fall asleep…” itadori mumbles against his pillow. the fabric muffles most of it, but there’s a strain in his voice that leads you to believe he’s moaning lightly. guess after sukuna ripped his heart out, this area hasn’t been quite the same, huh?

“so? then go to sleep, yuuji. i’ll be fine-“ “-no way! i gotta take care of you”

“so why don’t you?”

“‘m going to! i was asleep just half a minute ago!”

“and besides-“

he shifts himself up into a sitting position, leaning his back against the headrest. itadori opens his arms, motioning for you to crawl on top of him. without any haste, you clamber over his built frame, ghosting just over the print of his hard dick.

“not that i mind but- we did, you know, in the morning already-“ “oh, shit, sorry- it’s totally fine if you don’t want t-“ “-just messing with you!”

itadori pulls your neck down and gifts you with the same treatment you were offering him earlier. his tongue is hot and wet against your skin and you can already feel the precipitation forming at the back of your knees. calloused yet tender hands smooth around your waist and he smooths his palms over your shoulder blades.

after itadori’s satisfied with the mark he left, you can’t help but groan a little into his mouth when his lips suddenly claim yours. he drinks you up, relying solely on your taste like he’s drowning and you’re the air he needs.

itadori takes his sweet time cherishing you, or rather it’s still his state of half slumber, but you can feel a dull ache prick your abdomen. you scratch up his shirt, motioning for him to take it off. you’re unsure what comes over you, but shit, you don’t want him- you need him.

“heyheyhey, ‘s okay. don’t worry, i got you.”

“i’ll take care of you.”

“just relax, okay? i got this.” he only coos with sweet reassurances, peppering small kisses and handling you with the utmost precision.

you whimper, balancing your palms flat against his abdomen for additional support as you sink down onto itadori’s cock. he lets out a hum of content, forehead bumping against yours as he allows you to adjust.

“you good?” he murmurs after a few moments, capturing a few strands of your hair in between his fingertips. you nod meekly and itadori hisses out a breathy exhale. he’s sure that if he goes rough as shit you might end up more broken than being able to sleep, so he screws his eyes shut and exhales to maintain his composure.

blazing hot lips scrape against your ear, and his voice comes out in a husky tone.

“tell me how you want it.”

by the lords of everything and all that is holy, itadori only chants the same phrase over and over in his mind. it’s a miracle that he’s able to think straight with all the blood rushing to his cock. he’s more than happy to take it slow, reward you with slow and long strokes while he showers you with high praises. but he can’t ignore the twitch that he experiences when he envisions that pretty lil fucked out face of yours, all messy and ruined for him.

you mutter that you have no preference, that you don’t care because anything he’ll do for you is perfect, and it only gives him a beaming smile at your words.

itadori grabs the scrunched up ball of his shirt that he was wearing before ripping the fabric into half with his bare teeth. you watch his eyebrows perk when he notices how fucking hot you just found that, evident with the way your walls fluttered around him.

“here, babe.”

you part your lips and he stuffs the fabric into your mouth, there’s a little bit of excess hanging out, but he reminds you that you look sexy as hell either way, on top of his dick like that with your hands on his chest, legs spread, face flushed and ready for him.

“don’t wanna be wakin’ anyone else up.”

yuuta

this man is about to end my whole career

yuuta wouldn’t bring it up on his own accord just because… respect.. and he doesn’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable into doing things you’re not ready to.

it’s kind of a gray area for him because he doesn’t relish the idea of bringing up sensitive and/or extremely awkward topics so he really said ‘i’ll leave it up to future me’s problem’

but holy shit. let me absolutely tell you.

the second you hint at it? anything of the sorts? 0 to 100. he is FREAKY you cannot tell me he’s innocent just LOOK at the man

can make you scream with ease. all that practice he’s been doing with handling katanas? he doesn’t need his dick to make you cum. will gladly lick up your leftover juices and remark with a smile on his face how ‘it tastes good, angel’

similarly to itadori, i think he would be sweet and patient when asking for your preferences, etc, but after that you’re gonna have to find something to bite onto

“and? what’d you tell her?” yuuta remarks from over his fanned out deck of three cards. his gaze flickers to you as he awaits a response before using his index and middle finger to lay down a +4 card.

“red, by the way.”

you huff and glare at your boyfriend, picking up four cards and attempting to hold them in such a way that they don’t all fall and rattle to the floor. truth be told? you’re seriously a sore fuckin’ loser. you don’t know how he does it, but you’ve never managed to win a game against yuuta.

“i told maki-san that it’s her problem, not mine. if she’s so pressed about people taking them, why does she keep noodles stored in the fridge? really, noodles in the fridge? they’re really spicy as well! made my nose run like hell.” you scoff in distaste, throwing down a random red card on the pile.

“you totally ate them didn’t you?” yuuta giggles, beaming you a wide smile.

“also.. told her that i didn’t see them instead but- yeah.”

“aren’t you worried she’ll find out? oh, and, uno.”

“she might just beat me up to be honest, and, uno, you say? not anymore, love.” you sneer, throwing down a +4 card.

“i want green.”

“i’d protect you.” yuuta states over his cards. you feel like cracking a joke and laughing, but there’s absolutely zero implication on his facial features to show that he’s joking. that, and his serious tone, of course.

you flip your cards down onto the table and yuuta squeaks, pointing towards them.

“uh- i can see your cards-“

“it’s okay, not like i was gonna win anyway.”

at this point, yuuta’s mind races a hundred miles an hour. he’s panicking, blood pressure raised, heart thumping and throat clogged. oh, shit, did he do something wrong? did he upset you? is it ‘cause he said he’d protect you with no regards to the fact that you’re perfectly capable of fending yourself off against maki? fuck, he’s such a god damn screw-up, can’t even take care of his girlfriend correct-

“hey.”

your fingertips slide around his neck, hands interlocking at the base of his head. your thighs balance on his lap and you straddle him, legs either side of his.

he can’t help but hitch his breath, holding it in as though one wrong move and you would dematerialise.

“what’re you thinking about in that head of yours?”

whether you’re referencing his mini panic attack just now, or if you’re referring to all the multiple times he’s battled just bending you over and railing the absolute shit out of you, there’s not much room for debate when you brush your clothed sex up against the print of his dick.

yuuta snakes his slender hands around your throat, holding it in place. you can feel the arousal pool and wash over you, and you’d be more than surprised if you hadn’t soaked through your clothes.

he lets out a breathy laugh, devastating your stomach with butterflies due to how attractive he sounds. yuuta’s soft lips brush the shell of your ear and his other hand moves to rest on your waist,

“why don’t i show you?”

before you can utter a tease something along the lines of “show me what? how you’re too scared to hit me in bed?” you’re already down, flipped over and bent over the table you and yuuta were using moments prior ago for uno. the cards have splattered all over the wooden floor and you only hiss in discomfort as the cool surface scratches against your delicate skin. your boyfriend towers over you, leaning down as his torso clicks into place against your back. even through his titanium white jacket, you can feel his calm and collected heartbeat. he rests his head on your shoulder, nudging his face into you.

“don’t scream, okay? or, try not to, at least-“

his warm fingertips ghost over the curve of your ass, where he pinches the skin there before delivering a loud slap. you squeak, back arching as you jolt from the action. he proceeds by grabbing the inside of your thighs, long middle finger hoisting around your underwear and pulling it to the side. he makes note of the red lingerie you’re wearing and gives you a small chuckle, peppering a kiss to the side of your face.

“-unless, of course-“

“-you’d prefer everyone hear me fuck you stupid.”

“safe word’s blue, angel. i love you and thank you.”

truth be told, you were never sure what to expect from yuuta. hell, you’d never really seen the man’s dick before, sure you caught glimpses in the morning whenever he’d wake up but it’s really not the same. nothing in the world can compare to the first time you felt his piping hot tip brush up against your slicked cunt. and it was embarrassing, actually, the way your pussy was seething for him already.

with a firm hold on your tailbone, yuuta utilises his lower body strength to ram his dick all the way inside. there’s a garbled and choked moan that hisses from you when you feel your walls wrap and deform around the girth of yuuta’s dick. you whine even more so when you can physically feel a thick vein that decorates his shaft.

“the mirror.” yuuta commands in a low tone, redirecting you to glance at the same mirror you’d always fantasised about him fucking you in front of.

his eyes are half lidded, riddled with concentration. it reminds you of that feral and focused gaze he gets during serious battles.

“don’t look at me. look here.”

you trail the outline of yuuta’s arm veins as a result of him rolling his uniform sleeves up; following his v line that points towards his dick. you can only gawk in awe when you realise you’ve taken him to the base of his shaft.

his gaze locks with yours for a split second and he snaps his hips out until just about his tip is visible inside your cunt.

and shit, if his pretty pink cock isn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, especially with that attractive curve. you’re sure the gesture is just to wind you up, but you can’t help but swoon at him showcasing his pride to you.

“so- mmhf- pretty-“ you whine, words jumbled and breath caught when he slams his dick inside without any prior warning. you can only shriek in exclamation when his tip bruises your cervix, and you’re unsure whether you lament the sensation or not.

he only gives you a cheerful hum, reminding you of his usual cheery disposition. it’s not until then that you realise how much of a fucking beast he’s acting right now.

“right? i’ll put it to good use, i promise.”

gojo

- i know we’re all thinking the same thing here lmfao

- trying to sleep? good for you, now, open your legs for satoru.

- oh you can’t sleep? atta girl, down on your knees for satoru.

- bye i can literally imagine gojo saying some dumbass shit like “think you were trying to sleep but i couldn’t help but think how good my dick would look down your throat like that. sorry, love, you’re not sleeping tonight.”

you blink your eyes in turn with the cicadas chirping aside, stifling a yawn. everything around you down to the very last detail screams at you to sleep, but you just cannot. from the pitch black night that floods the room obscurely, to gojo’s even and quiet breathing beside you. you’ve tried it all. you’ve counted an excess amount of sheep, you’ve tensed and relaxed your body more than you can remember. hell, no matter how many times you’ve flipped the pillow you always seemed to feel less exhausted each time.

you can’t watch netflix, because you’ve binged all your favourite shows. it’s not that you’d wake gojo up because, who cares? by the time you finish scrolling through the endless lists it’ll be time to get up.

you ponder over the things you can do, continuing to subconsciously blink furiously. that is until gojo makes note of your stupid actions and starts giggling like a high schooler at his first sleepover.

“what the hell are you doing?” he snorts, cackling into the pillow like it’s the best joke he’s heard for quite some time.

“shut up, satoru. i’m trying to sleep you ass.” you tut at him, berating him for ruining your divine concentration.

gojo audibly shifts onto his stomach, his right arm crosses over the back of his head as he lazily rests his palm onto his scalp. the other arm preoccupies itself by landing it smack bang onto your chest, fingers wandering up to cup your breast.

“satoru, huh? that’s daddy for ya” he remarks, still giggling in a state of half asleep.

“uh-huh. goodnight.” you dismiss him and his nonsense.

“just go take a shower. always helps me whenever i can’t sleep.”

“hm? you’re giving me actual good advice and being a normal boyfriend? i think i might be asleep already, this is the best dream ever.” you remark sarcastically, prying gojo’s glued wrist off of your breast and sitting up. you could go for a shower, actually. you’re not sure why but it’s always so therapeutic to take one at night rather than the morning.

“huuuh? how could you say that? you’re so mean, (y/n)-chaan! i offered you my love and the world and this is how you repay m-“

“-goodnight satoru. i love you.”

“don’t think professing your love for me will change my mind! i’m still upset at you right now, young lady!” gojo shouts from over his pillow, exclaiming and irritating you in the way he knows how to best.

“yeah, yeah. okay.” you mumble softly to yourself, bearing a wide grin from ear to ear nonetheless.

when you move to crank the water on in the shower, you realise that you didn’t bring along a change of clothes. you momentarily pop back into the bedroom to ransack the drawer for anything that you can find.

“are you back to apologise for being so mean to me?” gojo whines and you can see the pout evident on him even when it’s pitch black.

“no, i’m just here for clothes, satoru.”

you hear him mumble something but it’s muffled by the sheets he’s underneath so you don’t heed any attention to it and resume in taking a shower to help keep your insomnia at bay.

with a ginger step and a small ‘oopf’, you heave yourself into the large shower that only a headass like gojo would bother buying. it’s reminiscent to what a hot tub looks like on the inside, with surrounding jets practically in a full 360 degrees. the things so steep that there’s a small step up in front of the shower outside the actual structure. it must have cost quite the fortune.

you reach in for the built in shelf to grab ahold of some of your toiletries as you allow the water to fall in a gentle sprinkle, almost like rain. there’s an audible squeeze reminiscent to trying to get the last ounces of ketchup as you apply some body gel to your hands, lathering it up.

despite standing, the warmth of the water leads your muscles to feel less tense. the only noteworthy downside is that the running water is tremendously loud. how on earth is gojo sleeping through all that racket?

slender fingertips ghost over your inner thighs. you can feel his wet and sturdy chest in place against your spine.

“surprised to see me?”

“you know i can’t let my baby talk shit like that.”

really? that’s his issue at hand here?

“so which is it?”

“acting like an intolerant brat because you’re tired or ‘cause you wanna get dicked down?”

gojo loops his arm underneath your leg, bending it up. you almost topple over in the process and you lay one hand flat against the tile.

“don’t answer that. sometimes it’s so obvious that you’re such a whore for my dick.”

“huh?! what the shit are you saying?” you snap at how correct he is.

gojo yanks your face back, digging his fingers into your cheeks as he forces you to face him. it almost sends your neck into two pieces, straining to look back at him.

“oh, really princess? just the other day you were begging me to fuck you”

“remember that? couldn’t wait so you rode me in the car? you know, baby, all you gotta do is ask.”

your legs tremble and psyche wobbles when he pries your mouth open with his thumb, promptly before spitting into it.

“don’t bother with the bullshit. i’ll play the games, not you.”

he drags his hard cock against the curve of your ass, slapping it against you.

“i don’t think i feel like fuckin’ you right now.” gojo sneers, humming sardonically. his lips quickly latch onto yours when you spin around to meet his gaze. like the fucker he is, gojo moans and whines into the kiss- lips ravaging you whole and tongue capturing your essence.

“baby girl, i was gonna let you top me. you know i don’t let anyone do that.”

his long middle finger prods against your cunt, forcing itself in with ease.

“damn, you’re soaked. you really wanted to milk me dry that bad?”

you hate him. hate him so fucking bad. he flashes you that attractive smile of his, azure eyes sparkling and snow white hair disturbed with water.

gojo pulls his finger out before sucking onto it in front of you, lapping all the excess arousal off.

“i’m not playing with you tonight.”

toji

- i literally don’t even need to say anything here

- just be sure to make a hospital check up appointment or something

- um-i uh- please remember to breathe after this one? maybe touch some grass? ALSO my first time writing for toji AAA i hope he’s okay

maybe if you don’t breathe? nah, that wouldn’t work. there’s still air acting around your limbs when you move so you’d be disturbing the barriers there. let’s see… maybe bit by bit? surely if you slowly inched his shirt up? then again, wouldn’t toji chew you out halfway through? maybe you should just give it to him straight up? just slip your hand under his shirt. come on. but he looks so peaceful, sleeping like that.. long eyelashes fluttered closed, lips relaxed and not scowling. his eyebrows are softly arched. he looks so soft, lips parted, chest rising and falling with every breath.

fuck it. just do it. cuddle him already.

you muster up all your courage in one fell swoop and you bend one leg over toji, resting it just above his groin. your right arm sprawls out over his chest and your hand rests against his toned arm. he’s already sleeping with one arm bent up with his hand supporting the back of his head, so you utilise the free real estate to nestle your head in the crook of where his shoulder and collarbone meet.

when he doesn’t move after a while, you deem your life to be safe and exhale with ease.

“you’re not asleep.” toji states in a groggy, husky tone. it’s supposed to be a question, but, coming from him it almost sounds like a challenge.

“yes?” you squeak out meekly.

“‘yes?’ you asleep or not?”

“i can’t sleep again.” you murmur against his shirt and he exhales a small sigh. the arm that you’re clinging onto moves to draw small circles on your thigh that rests on toji.

“when’d you notice?” you inquire, glancing down at his large wrists.

“like five minutes ago. nice try, kid.” toji snorts indifferently, chuckling at your behaviour.

when you don’t make an effort to respond, toji’s interest peaks and he lets out a small hum of intrigue when he follows your gaze.

he turns his head, brushing his lips up against your temples.

“see anything interesting down there?”

“as a matter of fact-“

you nestle yourself in between toji’s large and built thighs, digits curling around the waistband of his boxers. he only smirks at you through the dark, cock twitching through the fabric. you notice toji hover his hips up so that you can slide his boxers off for him and you happily oblige.

“-i do.” you chime, licking your lips.

it’s cute, though, if you thought toji was gonna let you handle him like that all by yourself.

as you kiss a trail up his thick shaft, toji yanks ahold fistfuls of your hair before grabbing your face off of his cock.

“who said you could suck my dick? that’s real cute.”

“thinking you actually have a place in my house.”

“i didn’t train you to be such a depraved slut. know your fucking place, because this isn’t it.”

“how many times do i gotta tell you? you don’t belong here. look around. do you see anything that shows a woman lives here? no? that’s because you’re nothing but a fuck doll for me.”

toji hisses out profanities at the gag you spew when he slams your tiny little mouth back down on his dick.

“lose the teeth you imbecile. unless you’re trying to tell me that you can’t suck my dick properly.”

incessant whines and garbled sentences are muffled by toji’s cock. whatever remnants you had of your vision are nothing but a blur as tears stream your cheeks, nose running and sniffles resurface in a repeating pattern over the slick sounds of slurping and gagging. your mouth stretches as far as it can go and the corners of your lips shriek in despair. you can feel the skin there stretch and pull beyond what’s considered normal.

even through all that, you manage to glance up at toji through your water logged lashes. you’ll be a good girl for him. you need to be.

“fuuuck. that’s a pretty sight.” he grumbles and a deep chuckle resonates through his chest. within a few moments, toji fumbles to reach for something.

you can only wince and screw your eyes at the suddenly blinding flash of a light in front of you. one can only assume he’s taken a photo of you in your humiliating state.

you can feel the fear settle into your veins when that telltale ping of a message being sent vibrates throughout the room. if you were to listen hard enough, you could hear a notification go off in the next room over.

your throat feels raw, jaw tense and locked open. it’s been a good twenty minutes of toji face fucking you to teach you a valid lesson. it’s all in the will of him wanting to drag this on, savouring every miniscule slurp, whimper or gasp. when his strokes start to feel sloppier than usual, you can’t help but feel relieved.

as you squirm about due to toji shooting hot ropes of his thick cum down your throat, the door softly clicks open.

“megumi. you’re just in time.”

“she’s way more obedient than your mom ever used to be.”

[inkmemes]

this  country  (  2017  -  2020  )  sentence  starters ↪  taken  from  the  bbc  mockumentary.  trigger  warning  for  mentions  of  religion,  death,  sex.  alter  as  you  see  fit  ♡

“i like the underdog.”

“don't be a fucking dick.”

“everyone comes together on days like today and just forgets their utter hatred of each other.”

“everyone who's anyone's going to be there and there are people from my past that would love to see me slain.”

“there's a tea rooms there and under the counter they've got a panic button and if i take one step inside, they can press that. the police will be there in three minutes.”

"he whatsapped me the other day asking us to go laser quest with him and i ... well, i clicked on it by accident, didn't i? so he knows i've seen it."

"i mean, i get it, but it's not making me feel nothing."

“it's baffling. i'm baffled by the entire situation, if i'm honest.”

“what the actual fuck? what the actual fuck? you have fucking lost your head, mate. you have lost your fucking head.”

“when i get hold of you, i swear to god i will fucking deck you.”

"someone's just been throwing plums at my house. i'm going to kill them. i can't believe it. i can't believe it. all over this. plumming on here, plumming on that. plum on the sofa, look! there's nothing left that hasn't been plummed."

“i've had a target on my back since the day i was born.”

“thank you very much, enjoy your free potatoes.”

“do you know how small your brain is?”

“hogwarts is that way, dumbledore.”

“he used to say i looked like the puppet off the dolmio advert.”

“there's a kid crying over there. do you want me to...? i can tell him to shut the fuck up if you want?”

“he genuinely looked like a moomin.”

“on my first day of karate club, karate master goes to me, [name], i don't know why you're here because i can't teach you anything. if anything, you should be teaching me." and just gave me his black belt.”

“you know that little old blind man? yeah, when i was punching him in his face, the lens from his glasses broke and cut my knuckle.”

“some things are just best left in the past, where they belong.”

“what's the point in knocking if you're just going to walk in anyway?”

“it was a miscarriage of justice though, cos what people forget is 12 out of them 20 hostages actually found it funny.”

“i lied so much i still don't know what's real life and what's plain lies.”

“i'm so glad you're out of that lying phase.”

“he likes to be the only person on the road, so whenever he sees a car coming the other way he just pulls over.”

“nasa went through hundreds of them in the '60s. and now every time i see a really bright star in the sky i can't wish on it, cos in my head i'm thinking, ‘that's probably just a spacecraft with some monkey bones in it.’”

“you absolute traitor. that's my cheese - it's my fucking house!”

“don't you dare eat that cheese. you eat that and i will smash this. i promise you, i will smash you with this.”

“fuck! you switched them!”

“yeah, i can see it's fucking burnt, sherlock.”

“i honestly am ashamed to know him, sometimes.”

“if you knock on someone's door, don't take no for an answer. get into their house. if they say, ‘leave my house’, stay. and if they say, ‘i'm going to call the police’, you walk upstairs and see if there's anybody else upstairs to sell to.”

“she looks like uncle fester.”

“right. i'm going to piss in their flowers, then.”

“you really need to go home. your mum's called the police and everything.”

“you're also fired from being my best mate, by the way.”

“in business, there will always be setbacks. i don't drink my own juice, fray bentos doesn't eat his own pies. but that's business.”

“do you know what, i don't actually want to play this any more, because it is actually very, very boring.”

“i'm ashamed of myself, that's not usually me, so don't get the wrong impression.”

“i genuinely think one of them fancies me as well.”

“it's fate her moving across the street.”

“the problem with finding a girlfriend in the village is that most of the girls you meet round here are old-age pensioners.”

“yeah, i am looking for a relationship, but thing is i've just got so many trust issues, yeah, with being fucked over massive in the past, so no matter how much i get close to someone now i'm thinking in the back of my head, ‘shit, am i going to get fucked over?’ because i've been fucked over in the past massively. my last relationship proper fucked me up.”

“i went through a really dark phase. listening to papa roach and just blowing everything up with them little french bangers.”

“shut up, you don't know what you're talking about!”

“i don't like the man. i know he's my uncle, but i don't like him.”

“it's just malicious lies, that's all it is.”

“i'm not saying i've got a cruel heart, but if she ain't willing to take me as i am rather than the monster i've become, then she can literally just jog on back to sea with all the other fish cos i don't care.”

“what do you look for in a boyfriend?”

“the key to dating, yeah, is the two rs and the three ts. 'respect, rapport, and talking, talking, talking.' don't ever let that ball hit the ground. good relationships are built on great conversation.”

“on a date, you've got to tell them all the interesting stuff about you, because that's what they'll be interested in.”

“he said to me, he goes, ‘you can't smoke on here.’ i said, ‘i'm not smoking, i'm vaping.’ the look on his face when i said that. i don't think he knew what vaping… what a vape is.”

“you would make me the happiest mouse if you say yes and become my spouse.”

“here's a tip, [name], next time you take a chick out on a date, don't bore her to tears.”

“roses are red, violets are blue, i've got five fingers, the third one's for you.”

“get out of my way, pipe cleaner.”

“[name] phoned me the other day at three in the morning saying, ‘come quick,

there's a hedgehog in the garden that looks exactly like grandad.’ so i got up, i got dressed and i ran over to [name]'s as fast as i could and then i just stopped in the middle of the street at three in the morning and thought, ‘what the fuck am i doing with my life?’

“you're joking me? because if you are joking me, that is massively harsh.”

“oh, let me get a song up on youtube. you're going to absolutely love this, [name]. here we go… listen to this. oh, for fuck's sake, advert.”

“let's go down the pub and get shitfaced.”

“where do i see myself in five years? well, me and [name] will have a flat in the middle of the village and all of our furniture will be inflatable and we'll have cable and it will pay for itself, because we're going to use the spare room to breed quails, because their eggs are worth fucking shitloads.”

“is this about the calippo, still? because you offered to buy me that.”

“if he wants to go, good luck to him, i say. i reckon he thinks that i can't live without him, which is a laugh, because he went a whole weekend away once and i got on all right. i just ended up following this cat around the village.”

“i've got to do what's right for me, at the end of the day, instead of worrying about other people.”

“how about you say sorry? sorry for the massive knife that's hanging out the back of my back because of you.”

“oh, and while you're stabbing me in the back, feel free to bend down and kiss my arse.”

“can i just ask you an honest question? why would you want to leave the village when we've got a pub and a shop?”

“i think you don't know how lucky we have it to be doing nothing with our lives, like. we're all going to die, anyway, so what's the point in doing anything?”

“i want ownership of the words fucknut and dickmilk.”

“i had this come through the post. and i've got a few concerns about it. firstly, this guy on the front looks really arrogant. not the sort of guy i was expecting, if i'm honest.”

“this is starting to stress me out a little bit.”

“why are you trying to stress me out? you know i'm already stressed out as it is.”

“the bloke that used to live in there, right, kept hearing strange noises coming out of his attic at night. and he'd go to the fridge and find that food was missing from the fridge. so he thought, ‘i'm just going to go up to the attic and check this out.’ and he found an entire family of peruvian panpipe buskers just living up there. and he thought ‘i'm just going to leave them to it, ‘cos they're not really doing me any harm.’ and then, a few years later, he thought, "well, i'll just go up to the attic to check on them. ‘see if they're all right.’ and it turned out they'd all died of asbestos poisoning. yeah, he doesn't live here any more.”

“some people will always be scared of me, and i can't change that, no matter how nice i am. but there's a balance to be had between being nice and being feared.”

“don't really like catching up. it's not my thing.”

“i just watched this video of this girl doing a random act of kindness on youtube. she basically paid for this old man's shopping at the till. and this old man was, like, about 90 years old. and he's so fucking old, like, you could see through his skin. and he just starts bawling his eyes out. he's like, ‘you're fucking joking me, this ain't fucking real life.’ i just thought... i want to make someone feel like that. ‘cos that's... i really… that's what i want to do.”

“i'm not dead. just can't be arsed to text her sometimes.”

“you know, correct me if i'm wrong, but four texts a day is complete madness. no-one can keep up with that.”

“i am doing kind things selfishly.”

“i was at midnight mass one year, right, someone got tipped off i was there. as i was coming out the church, someone tries to shoot me with a crossbow.”

“well, i haven't seen the film, have i? that's why i came here - to watch the fucking film - like a normal human being.”

“i've made an effort by coming here tonight. i didn't want to come.”

“i had to wheel him here from his house in an asda trolley, cos he was just too heartbroken to move.”

“sometimes you don't know what you got until you ain't got it any more. like blockbuster's. i just took 'em for granted - and then, one day, gone, and you spend ages trying to figure out what went wrong, and then you realise it was your fault all along.”

“i thought you said you wanted to fix things.”

“she wanted it to go that way, and it just wasn't gonna go that way. she even got me thinking that they'd get back together… ..but that's manipula.... manipulative people... do that. and he's better off without her.”

“that wasn't much to write home about.”

“it's fucking dead, isn't it?”

“basically, somebody's been sending me threatening letters, and i don't know who's doing it - and i am concerned, because my peripheral vision is poor, so, if somebody attacks me from the sides or snipes at me from an upstairs window, i am fucked - but my hearing is excellent, see? so i just need to spend a few days inside honing my sonar, and i'll be fine then.”

“if you don't like the work, the circus is in town and they're always looking for clowns.”

“his soul is just going to crumble to dust.”

“this really is not a good situation for me. a physical threat is something that i can deal with, but a sexual thing is not my area of expertise.”

“just really fucked in the head, mate.”

“what have i done? i haven't done anything wrong.”

“do you know how sad that is? that is so, actually, sad. that makes me sad for you, that you can't take a joke.”

“i think i just got a bit carried away with the whole thing.”

“your finger's going up my arsehole, mate.”

“i'll hold the back of your head, so you don't bash yourself.”

“when i lie in future, i don't want a massive lecture on how bad lying is, cos deep down, you're the worst of us all, mate.”

“i'd quite like a coke.”

“it's going to be like gluing a breadstick back together, because… like, as if a breadstick's been in a blender and it's all… ...the pieces smashed up.”

“like, this one time i started a fight club in the village hall, and i got a black eye from beating myself up. but it made my enemies think, ‘fuck, if she can do that to herself, what the fuck can she do to me?’”

“i'm absolutely 1,000% sure i've broken it in two places.”

“i knew this day would come.”

“i should be in tk maxx, getting the bargains that i deserve.”

“unlike you, [name], i'm not a fashion disaster.”

“i'm still warm in my grave, and she's sucking off the pallbearer.”

“you know, it took me ten years to get over [name], and i only went out with her for half a day.”

“i swear to god, if i see him here again, i swear to god, i will have no hesitation in just going up to him and just planting one on his face.”

“right, then keep your nose out of my business, yeah? nosy old cock-womble.”

“[name]’s attitude to me is puzzling. if i walk past her in the street

and say hi, she'll tell me to fuck off. yet every year, she sends me a really sweet, nice christmas card. you know, there's just no consistency there.”

“he's good-looking up close, isn't he?”

“don't show me any weakness, because i will take advantage.”

“no, put the brick down, you fucking psychopath.”

“when i asked him, he just said, ‘come to my office now,’ which means we're in the fucking shit, cos we're always in fucking shit.”

“i shouldn't be paying you at all.”

“i've always had a son. i talk about him all the time.”

“he's my son. he's not my dog.”

“it reminds me of the wicker man. i don't really know why.”

“i just find it weird how you can be so close to someone and they can be such a big part of your life, and then the next minute, you're just sort of strangers in the night.”

“i don't want the emotional implications.”

“well, about five years ago, i sold my birthday to my mum for about 200 quid, which means my mum's legally entitled now to never celebrate my birthday ever again for the rest of my life. not even, like, a happy birthday cup of tea, or a moonpig card, nothing - which is the worst decision i ever made in my entire life.”

“he deserves that anyway, because he's been sexting my nan, so…”

“what's this surprise? cos i need to know whether it's going to be worth this walk.”

“i always see them banners above the motorway, and i always thought, ‘who the fuck does them?’ well, now i know. people like me.”

“did you know you can't get stung by a stinging nettle if you grab the leaf top and bottom, like that? it's only when you touch it on the sides, it stings. agh, actually, that stung, then.”

“pez dispenser, they're cursed. they are, i'm not even joking. honestly, when i had one of them, i had the worst bout of bad luck i ever had in my life.”

“i swear down, it's a short cut. it might be a pleasant walk, we might enjoy it.”

“i'm not scared of the fox twins. i'd just like to sit them down and ask 'em plainly, ‘look, guys, what is going on? ‘cos this has just gotten completely out of hand now. you know, stop walking on your knuckles, stand up straight, be the best version of you that you can be. get a job, even. there's a trolley boy who works at tesco's, you know, who may as well have been raised by wolves. if he can get a job, you guys can walk it.’”

“yes, there has been talk of strange goings-on in the woods, ghost sightings and the like. but… ...they're never from particularly reliable sources.”

“i live with a ghost. there's a ghost in that house. he's like a civil war cavalier, with all the hair and the hat and all that. and every time i walk into the living room, he doffs his cap. and on his shoulder, he's got this crow that barks at me. it means i spend less time in the house, really. not because of him, because he's-he's quite peaceable. but the crow is malevolent. and i'm not having that. i can't share my house with a malevolent bird.”

“that's haunted as fuck.”

“am i going mad here, or does that, to you, look like that's where just ghost will hang out all the time?”

“look at him, little red riding twat.”

“if he's got an attitude with me, i swear to god, i'll just grab the steering wheel and drive us all into a wall.”

“it's a bit annoying, actually. cos this is not the first or the second time i've had to tell you, really, is it?”

“his sparkle has just gone.”

“you know my dad actually wrote the song wonderwall on the back of a beer mat in the space of ten minutes, don't you?”

“i've just got a tiny, tiny, tiny little favour to ask you.”

“when i think of [name], i think of someone who is very loyal. and very, very stupid. sort of more stupid than loyal. sort of 70% stupid, 30% loyal, probably. because she's very loyal. but extremely stupid.”

“do you know what? i actually don't think he loves you at all and i don't think he's ever loved you.”

“all right, that's harsh and unnecessary, but fine.”

“frankly, she is behaving like the antichrist.”

“i literally just got here.”

“you are such an unemotional slab of ham, [name].”

“i've got so much shit on that man you would not believe.”

“there's something in my eye.”

“i just can't quit him, you know?”

“yeah, we might have a fiery relationship,  but when we're together, it's just… it's just pure chemistry, isn't it?”

“i'm not proud of it, believe me. but at the end of the day, i'm a very vindictive person, you know? it is what makes me me.”

“i basically went out and bought an alpaca off gumtree for £500. of all the mistakes i've made in my life, that was possibly the largest. definitely the physically largest.”

“yeah, i really don't wanna talk about that.”

“her only loyalty is to herself, staffies, and the tv channel dave… ...which, in my opinion, is a tv channel made by knuckle-draggers for knuckle-draggers.”

“i can't move on till i've seeked revenge, unfortunately.”

“if that was in france, that would be fine, but we're not in france.”

“the only thing we had in common, really, was stealing, and that was more my thing that i got him onto. but it just goes to show, you know, some friendships last and some friendships don't, but that's just the way it is.”

“you know it was me that got you sacked, don't you?”

“the thing i learnt about friendship is, you gotta accept each other's flaws, no matter how toxic they may be.”

“shit-stirring from beyond the grave.”

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

poly! lost boys with a s/o who is a gen z baby punk who loves going to rallies and stuff like that??? i love your writing btw!!!

We love a modern!au lost boys

Poly!Lost Boys x Modern!Baby Punk S/O

The boys refuse to give up the counterculture lifestyle. They may pick up fashion trends here or there, but they're old enough to know what'll stick and what won't. However, that doesn't mean that they don't at least have to try to blend in with the current scene. You comment on how they seem to have some old garage rock or grunge vintage styles and the boys are surprised that you know your shit. They decide to keep you around after that, and fill you in on whatever you don't already know. They did witness the literal birth of punk after all

When old school punk and goth became more popular in the modern day, the boys all proceeded to slip in whatever survived from the 80s. Marko never stopped wearing his jacket, David immediately goes back to having a mullet, Dwayne's look was timeless so he didn't have to change a thing, and Paul immediately traded skinny jeans for his old football pants.

You're gonna have to call them out on being elitists at least once. I'm sorry everyone but if you think these boys aren't going to be elitists, you are wrong. They saw the birth of punk, grunge, and all the other major countercultures since counterculture was a literal thing. They're smug assholes about it sometimes, but they're the type of smug assholes that will try to teach you everything they know. Firmly believe that they're the only ones allowed to be dicks about music to you. Anyone else is getting decked. Yes, this includes Dwayne. You mistook an Adolescents song for Black Flag one time and he has never let you let it down

However, David is the only one of them that's a punk/metal purist and you and Paul get on his nerves by playing Ayesha Erotica and by calling him an e-boy. He swears one of these days he's going to actually kill the both of you, especially when he actually gets a tiktok and learns what an e-boy actually is please do not let Paul discover tiktok

The boys love the rallies because there's nothing more punk than getting in the man's face about issues you care about! However, they really would rather if you only went to rallies during the nighttime so they could go with you. The boys hate cops (we been knew this) and they want to be there to make sure they don't start any shit at any of the rallies you're at

However, the boys are quickly banned from going to any rallies cause Marko decked a cop and somehow got Paul arrested??? They couldn't fly away with all the people around and basically Paul didn't help by making jokes the entire time they were putting cuffs on him. "Y'know, my safeword is lotion." "Hey, big boy you going my way?" When they put the cuffs on him, he literally said, "Okay, that's tight. Haha that's what he said" And proceeded to wink at the cop arresting him. The cop car was found down the road with the cops eaten and the car door ripped off. After that, the boys had to lay down low for awhile

The boys have been knew where all the best holes in the wall were, so you were introduced to plenty of new hangout places besides the scene on the boardwalk. Including the best places to shop. You wanted new gloves? Got em. New pants? Got em. New patches? Marko can show you personally where he likes to score. He'll even help you sew and start your own diy jacket. The two of you actually heavily bond over diy and Markos willing to kiss any pricked fingers :) Basically, hang out with the boys for awhile and they'll have you look like you walked right out of the 80s punk scene

Let's not forget the history. The boys know their punk history. With the four of them combined, they could probably run a night class on the subject. You walked into that relationship a baby punk and now you know as much as if you were actually there when it first happened

The boys also really aren't surprised when anyone in the music scene is revealed to be a terrible person in some way and they have a list in the cave of every artist that has been cancelled to date. Some of them were really hard for certain boys *cough* Motley Crue for Paul *cough*

Basically, they love and support you in all of your punk endeavors

[raventreehouse]

(Im sorry if you don’t feel comfortable (I’m sorry if you don’t feel comfortable doing this request just plz let me know) My best friend just made fun of me for having a very small chest and that I will never get a partner because “Nobody finds you attractive” so can you please do Akira/Ren, Sunny, Kel, Ann, and Ty lee with a S/O who has a small chest and often gets made fun of for it

Like all these characters would too, I’m going to throw hands with your ‘best friend’ cause you don’t make fun of someone’s appearance, you can make fun of shit as long as they know it’s a joke and since you’re here for comfort.... Me and this particular squad fucking pulling up >:(

Akari

Very smoothly just throws his arm over your shoulders

“I don’t think they asked for your opinion did they?”

Just a pretty intimidating glare at the person 

And then just walks away from them

He would just make the rest of the day the best day of your life?

Take you to everything like, if it’s the arcade, cafe or anything

He just makes sure you’re happy

Nobody tells you you will never get a partner

I mean he’s right there

And he doesn’t care how you look

He cares for you for your personality

Your gorgeous looks are a bonus ;) 

Also if anyone says they’re not gorgeous welcome to the AUTHOR COMING TO FIND YOU AND SMACK YOU WITH GOOD VIBES

YOU’RE ALL BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK >:(

Sunny

Sunny tell me what you have

A KNIFE

NO

Actually yes though

He will try to attack the person because you know he’s bad at words

Even quieter than Akira, which is pretty impressive

Anyways Hero holds him back

And everybody just kind of walks away from the person if they haven’t already ran the fuck away-

Sunny holds your hand for the rest of the day

He won’t really comfort you

Because he doesn’t like talking

But he would give more touches than normal hoping you know he doesn’t care about that stuff

Cause he doesn’t, he just cares that you love him

Kel

Bruh I kid you not, this fucking would deadass call Aubrey and Kim

Mari too

Just the girl squad in general

“Yeah this stupid person made fun of s/o’s chest area? Can you come to this street? thank you bye!”

And then just hold you comforting you about that’s not even what he cares about

He really is the person to look for personality and not body type

He loves all girls (and boys but Hero hasn’t had the talk with him yet)

And then the girls show up and Aubrey has her fucking bat bitches

The girls fucking destroy this person, verbally cause Mari is good at keeping people in check

Tell me Aubrey ain’t a bit gay for this girl 

So all in all Kel comforts you and cheers on the girls

He doesn’t say a lot of stuff and just hugs you cause he doesn’t want to say anything weird accidentally

So he just tells you that he loves you no matter what you look like

He fell in love with you as a whole

Ann

Ann would blink out of the audacity 

And then just go off on them

“I’m sorry I thought I heard someone speak shit about something that shouldn’t even matter! Nobody cares if people’s breasts are big or small! Only cishets do! Dick!”

Just goes off about how people with breasts get too sexualised

Listen she gets those creepy guys drooling over her curves on the daily

So the second someone tries to insult you about it?

Hands on deck, Ryuji and Akira have to hold her back so she doesn’t physically throw hands

(also in the background the girl group glaring this fucker down? YEAH, can you imagine how menacing it would be to just have Ann being held back by two dudes who are struggling to keep her there, mind you and then just have a Makoto, Haru and Futaba in the background just glaring this fucker down?)

This person is r u n n i n g

“That’s what I thought!”

You get a girls night out

Everybody just having fun and after that Ann just cuddles the shit out of you mumbling how amazing you are no matter your body type

Ty lee

The queen of throwing hands

This fucker is out, in a fucking second

Acts so sweet about it though?

Like cheeks puffed out in annoyance 

You looking at her like 0-0

“What? They said something dumb about you >:(“

Will just tackle hug you to the ground

Mai and Azula probably have seen this whole thing go down and just .-.

“Alright, don’t fuck with Ty lee’s s/o” -Mai

“I’ve never seen her that angry before” - Azula

Yeah she starts complimenting the shit out of you

Not even like your chest area just in general

“Your body is perfect in every way, and if someone says otherwise, well it doesn’t matter cause the only ones you have to listen to are the ones you care about.”

“And if someone you do care about says something like that, they are an asshole and not your friend, you just come to me and I’ll teach them a lesson! Or,, wel Mai and zula :D”

[ficforce]

NSFW Alphabet Extended

Joker/52 x Female Reader NSFW / Mentions of past abuse No established timeline Established relationship

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

“Uh, JJ?” Y/N watched the man practically run out of the room not even a minute after they had both finished up. Had she said or done something? Y/N pulled the blanket up to her chest after sitting up and worried that he wasn’t going to come back… This wasn’t the first time he’d done something strange after they had had sex but it was the first time he’d left; she brought her knees up and couldn’t help the tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes. “I got water, alcohol, juice and I put the kettle on in case you want something hot, I also grabbed some snacks in case you were hungry - oh and I grabbed some body wipes too!” Joker had piled everything he had mentioned onto a tray and brought it to the side of the bed, placing everything down before then grinning at her like he had done something really innovative. The grin dropped quickly as he noticed her watery eyes and the slight quiver of her lip. The man sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into a hug, holding her tight in his slight panic, “What did I do? Did I hurt you? Did I push you?” Joker had had a shitty childhood that had followed into his young adult life, he remembered all the times he was forced to do something or it was forced on him, he remembered being left cold and in pain with no-one giving two shits; it terrified him that he might have inflicted the same kind of pain on her. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” Y/N pushed against him just enough to be able to look at his worried face, “You didn’t do anything… I definitely wanted that but it’s just… you left, right after and…” she realised now he had run out to get her food and drink, things to take care of her if she needed it. He had asked her last time about aftercare and how he wasn’t sure how to best provide it for her. She had told him that a bottle of water might be appreciated and hadn’t expected him to take it so far as snacks. “I thought you’d just left me.” “No way,” he kissed her cheeks as he squished her face a little between his hands, “Now, you want water, juice, vodka or tea?” The man was completely oblivious as to his awkward after sex etiquette.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

‘They’re like stilts.” Joker chuckled as she poked at his leg, “I like being taller than everyone else.” He likes his legs; he liked that he could move ridiculously fast, that he was flexible and able to kick someone in the face without having to get too close. “You love it when I lean over you like a big creep.” “That’s because I love creeps, apparently.” Y/N grabbed the collar of his top and pulled him down for a kiss, “What do you love about me? Physically?” “Hmm,” Joker gave it a little thought, straightening back up and lighting another cigarette, “Physically… that’s a tricky one. What do I love about my queen of hearts?” He liked everything, it was hard to pick just one thing; he turned his grin on her all of a sudden and smacked her backside, “I like your ass.”

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Running his fingertips through the cum leaking out of his lover, Joker slowly pushed it back inside her entrance, gently fingering her and relishing in the wet, warm feeling of her freshly fucked hole. “T-thats gross…” Y/N blushed and looked away from his fascinated expression. “I think it’s pretty.” He brought his fingers up to his mouth and sucked them clean, “We’re all mixed together, impossible to separate.” Only he could make something like this sound almost romantic.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Y/N watched as Joker played with his deck of cards, shuffling them more expertly than any dealer in the big casinos, he then began to hum as he set out a game of solitaire. Sometimes he snuck into her apartment just to be there with her; it wasn’t always a booty call. There was something she noticed when he opened a brand new pack of cards though, something she wasn’t sure he was entirely conscious of doing. The long haired man would always pull out and burn one of the cards to ash before replacing it with the joker card. Last time Y/N had mentioned it he had packed everything up and told her he had business to attend to before leaving.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

“What’s this thing?” Y/N looked over at him from where she was putting away her clothes, her cheeks became a little warm as she saw he was playing with a vibrating cock ring. “It goes at the base of your dick… makes you last longer and the vibration gives me a little something when you push all the way in.” Joker snorted at it and tossed it back in the draw. He was sat cross legged on her bed in nothing but a towel and hair turban to keep him from getting the pillows damp; of course he had to snoop around in her bedside table whilst she was busy. “Why would someone need to last longer, you’d get sore, right? And why the hell aren’t they paying attention to your clit personally?’ He made little circular motions with his thumbs, “That’s just lazy, Y/N.” She often wondered how someone so tall and sexy could be so inexperienced, sure, he was a little odd but women should have been throwing themselves at him. “I’ll show you later, okay.”

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Joker liked all kinds of positions, he especially liked when Y/N was on top. So when she suggested reverse cowgirl he was curious and eagerly agreed to trying it out. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like any position where he couldn’t see her face; it made him uncomfortable and it didn’t feel as good as he knew it should. His hands fell onto her hips and applied a little pressure to slow her down to a stop, “T-turn back around.” He panted out and when she did as he asked, Joker felt better, he thrust up into her more eagerly than before and his purple eye watched her expressions as they headed toward orgasm. Afterwards, as they lay in a heap of sweaty limbs, Y/N kissed his jaw and asked him if it was the angle he hadn’t liked, he shook his head and told her that it just felt better if he knew she was enjoying it.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

“JJ, stop messing around with that and get over here.” She had told him he could pick one toy for them to try out from her collection but so far he was just playing with everything. He was taking particular joy in trying to secure a strap on to his head. “Look, Y/N, I’m an actual dickhead now!” He heard her groan at his joke but he definitely heard a giggle too, “Or ‘fuckface’… I heard you call someone that the other day.” Joker liked to make her laugh, he found it put him at ease before they had sex; somehow he was still nervous he was going to make her hate him or that he would somehow hurt her.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Her fingers felt soothing as they ran through his long hair, she had practically begged him to let her practice a french braid on him and he didn’t actually mind it. Y/N had always liked playing with his hair - even before they became a proper couple. “How do you get it so soft?” She asked as she brushed it out to start her braid again, “You never have any split ends either.” He really did take good care of it, it wasn’t something she ever expected from him but she couldn’t deny how much attention he paid to his hair - even his pubic hair was kept trimmed and oddly perfect. He glanced over her shoulder at her and gave a soft smile, “I wasn’t allowed long hair when I was younger, so I like to keep it nice.”

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Something had upset him, something had happened and Y/N hadn’t really known what to do when she found him huddled up in the corner of her bedroom. He was always good at sneaking in but this was the first time she had ever woken up and found him hiding in the dark rather than invading her bed. “JJ?” She called out her pet name for him as she got out of bed and padded over to him, kneeling between his outstretched legs before reaching out to touch his face. He flinched. “Joker, what’s wrong?” She tried again to touch him and this time he allowed her to rest her hands on his cheeks. Y/N checked him over, he didn’t seem to be hurt in anyway, he was just… not quite right. “Can I take off your hat?” He gave a nod and she removed the item quickly, her fingers ran over his hair to neaten it out a little and then she asked if she could take off his eyepatch. This time he shook his head no. “Okay, will you come to bed? We can cuddle…” It hadn’t been hard to figure out, once she had seen all the evidence, that Joker had had bad experiences with people - that someone had likely abused him in his past. One of her biggest clues had been the way he never got too rough with her, how he always had to be able to see her face. Joker cherished her when they were together, he always made sure she knew that he wanted her to feel good and loved. It was moments like this, when he was emotionally bare and vulnerable that she felt most intimate with him, that he let her in and trusted her not to hurt him. “I’ll be big spoon, okay, JJ?” Taking his hand she coaxed him toward the bed and wrapped herself around his tall frame; trying her best to make him feel safe.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

The first time Joker masturbated he had been a little scared that he was going to be struck by lightning. He may have been raised an assassin but they were still a religious order that frowned upon that kind of thing… unless you were some sort of twisted pervert. At first he had ignored the feeling, not wanting to touch himself because he didn’t want to feel sick afterwards; sex had always made him feel disgusting before. But as his vision blurred white and his muscles spasmed, his fist moving on its own along his length as he milked every last drop out of it, he felt weightless afterward. The tension melted out of his body and he wanted to take a nap. He didn’t feel bad, he didn’t feel disgusting - he felt good. He doesn’t masturbate half as much now that he had Y/N. His right arm didn’t ache as much either…

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

“Is this okay?” Y/N asked as she straddled the backs of his thighs and placed her hands on his back. She had set up a large mirror at the end of the bed for this and she hoped it would work for Joker. She had wanted to give him a massage for the longest time but he could never really relax because he disliked having people behind him, touching his bare skin. She figured that if he could see what she was doing in the mirror it might help him. Joker hugged the pillow under his chin and watched her reflection intently, she pulled out a bottle of oil and began warming it in her hands, “I’d like it more if you were naked too.” He saw her look back at his reflection and rolled her eyes, “Maybe in a little while then.” Feeling her slick hands stroke over his bare back made the man let out a low moan; he loved being touched. Stroked, pet, cuddled, caressed - it didn’t matter as long as it was a positive touch. His kink wasn’t being choked or hit or even just tied up. His kink was being treated sweetly by his lover.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

“Excuse me, ma’am.” The shop assistant sounded a little panicked from outside the changing room door. “Ma’am, you… you can’t have your boyfriend in there with you. I’m sorry but please stop having -‘relations’.” Y/N glared at Joker as he held in his laughter, she had told him to get out the second he had materialised in her changing room but he had said he wanted to play. “Anywhere isn’t an acceptable location for this kind of thing, Joker!”

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

It didn’t take much to turn her boyfriend on, sometimes just looking in his general direction was enough motivation for him to pull her into long, lovely kisses and feel his hands sneaking under her clothes to caress her body. So as she finished paying for her new lingerie and took the bag from the cashier, she had to wonder how he was going to react to her intentionally teasing him.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Going through her sex toys seemed to be one of his favourite hobbies, mostly because it would make her stutter and feel flushed. This time Joker held up a pretty chain with a clamp either end, “Those are nipple clamps, JJ.” “They look like they hurt…” He tossed them aside in distain then found a pair of handcuffs next, “Why… would you intentionally want to be hurt?” Joker put those back too, his expression unhappy. Y/N came to sit down beside him, “Sometimes a little pain feels good-“ “Sex and pain shouldn’t go together. I’m never going to use any of this shit on you.” She gave a little shrug, embarrassed that he didn’t approve of her little kinks but understanding all the same, “And that’s okay… I’ll never mix the two together when I’m with you. I promise I’d never try to hurt you.”

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

His hands gripped her shoulders a little too hard and Joker quickly moved them to the edge of the kitchen counter behind him so he wouldn’t bruise her. Her mouth was so warm and the way she was sucking him felt so good that his legs were starting to shake. As much as he loved having his mouth on her and his tongue inside - this was always his favourite treat. It took all his willpower not to thrust into Y/N’s mouth; one look down and he felt his balls tighten at the way her lips stretched around him and how damn pretty she looked like this. “I-I’m gonna… Fuck, Y/N, I’m - !!” P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

The headboard of her bed thumped rhythmically against the wall as Joker plowed into her, his hands holding her thighs up and open so that he could go deeper. “J-Jo-ker! Ah, I… P-please!” He felt her walls tightening around him, heard how wet she was and knew she wouldn’t last much longer. The man slowed his pace, still filling her to the very hilt but almost dragging out how quickly he pulled out to the tip and then dived in deep again. Unable to process the mixture of slow and fast, hard and gentle, Y/N’s body began to shake and tremble, her eyes squeezing shut as his name filled the room loud enough for the neighbours to hear.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

The endearing problem with her odd boyfriend, other than not knowing where he came from or even where he would come from next, was that he was able to go - sexually - at a moments notice. He loved a quickie, he loved it slow, sideways and once he had loved it upside down. Y/N had taken to carrying extra underwear with her just in case.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Y/N loved Joker, she adored him and she knew he cared about her deeply too… she just wished he would try new things with her that were not so safe. She liked a little breathplay every now and then but Joker wouldn’t risk choking her. He was a strong man and he knew he could get carried away. Then again, she thought as she looked at how high they were on the roof of a skyscraper, he liked to have sex in some pretty scary places.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

“I… actually can’t…” Y/N rolled onto her side panting heavily, everything ached a good way, the sheets were wet under her and every time Joked touched her she felt her body spasm. She was over sensitive and even though she knew he could make her orgasm again - she ws certain she would probably die. “I need a break.” “Okay, then we can go for round six?”

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Joker loved toys. His favourite thing was to go through hers and then try them out if they interested him enough. There were many times he would bring new ones home for Y/N and then look at her with an excited purple eye. Y/N looked at the new toy he had brought home and blinked, “Is that a fucking tentacle dildo?!”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Sometimes Joker wasn’t aware that he was actually teasing her, he just liked to touch her. Y/N bit her bottom lip as his thumb brushed over her clothed nipple again, it was hard and aching from his absent minded touch - she had no doubt he was only messing with her nipple because it was erect. It was the same for his other touch on her body. His other hand was on her inner thigh, his fingers tracing up and down the seam of her bottoms. “You’re driving me crazy!” “I haven’t even done anything?” Joker let out a surprised yelp as Y/N pinned him down to the sofa and climbed on top of him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

“I’m calling the police!” Y/N hid her face in Joker’s neck as they listened to her neighbour yell through the wall - they were kind of loud on a regular basis. “I could go and have a word with him?” “Don’t you dare, Joker! We’re already in trouble because you did the…. Thing!” He grinned and blew a few heart shaped smoke rings for her, “You love it when I do the Thing.”

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

The bouquet of flowers she found on her table when she got home were a wonderful surprise. She noticed they were mostly purple with her favourite colour splashed in here and there; she didn’t need a note to know Joker had left them for her. Putting her bag down and kicking off her shoes Y/N picked up the flowers and smelled them, appreciating the gesture more than the aroma. Looking around the small apartment for him she realised that she must have just missed him… or he was hiding. Joker was surprisingly shy when it came to romantic gestures. X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) The first time she saw him naked, Y/N had been a little intimidated because, like most things about him, his cock was long. There was no way all of him would fit inside her without tickling her tonsils. Trying to calm her nerves she had turned her gaze onto his body, ran her hands over his lean muscles and pressed kisses to the scars she found. “One day, you’ll share your story with me, JJ.”

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

“Are you done?” Joker asked as he hovered over Licht, the young man was testing some new formula and he had said he needed Joker’s help. Watching the vial turn a different colour the scientist smirked to himself, “Have you got a date?” “I’m just horny. I miss Y/N and you’re being so boring!” He knew he had a problem, he knew he probably had too much sex but who could blame him when he had such a wonderful woman waiting for him?

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

His head rested on Y/N’s shoulder as they lay in bed; he couldn’t sleep and she was trying to help soothe him to sleep. She massaged his scalp between running her fingers through his hair and she had even tried making him a hot drink. Sometimes he couldn’t sleep, even after the euphoric release of a good orgasm to melt his troubles away. Feeling her hand brush over one of his scars Joker let out a sign, “Remember when you said one day I’d share my story?” Her hands paused for a second, the weight of his words causing her breath to stutter, “…Yes.” “Would you still love me, even if I wasn’t a good man?” “No matter what you were in the past,” She kissed the side of his head, “You’re my Joker and I’ll love you for who you are now.”