#did i do the assignment right??

[fivekrystalpetals]

found this template here and decided I had to do one for PH girls 😎

ID under the cut: (kinda if you can’t see who is what)

Alyss/Intention of the Abyss - Girlwar criminal

Lottie- Girlwar criminal + Girl boss

Sheryl - Girlboss

Sharon - Girlboss + Girl Employee + Woman

Alice - Girl boss + Girl Employee

Lacie- Woman + Sad Girl

Noise- Sad Girl + Failwoman

Ada- Failwoman

Echo - Failwoman + Pathetic wet cat

Lily- Pathetic wet cat

[heartorbit]

revstar emu save me

[aquanutart]

"little miss prairie faerie" is a cute name actually... (but I won't use it if she doesn't like it)

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

storytime which my figs know about but whatever (and thanks to my beloved boundin for being all worired abotu me. sorry.)

so i had an assignment due yesterday. a care plan worth 15% of my grade for a double credit point unit. anwyay. i didn't touch it, for various reasons up to and including what i'm currently calling situational depression, and planned to get an extension.

fun fact: apparently you can't get extensions day-of, at least for that assignment.

i found this out at about 11am, due 8pm, having not even looked at assignment before then.

so of course i kind of panicked. just a little bit. and opened it up real quick. shifted to desk. put on the kettle and started digging around my music library.

there's this song i like, carpenters of course, "don't be afraid". i cycled through a few other songs before i got to that one, none of them helping me get into the zone.

(anyway i listened to "don't be afraid" on loop 108 times yesterday afternoon, putting it as the top number of plays on my music app, finally surpassing a particular movement of a beethoven sonata (13 second mvt) that has reigned as king for a couple of years. then towards the end, flagging, i switched to a combo of "road ode" and "a song for you (reprise)", because those two songs have to go together musically.)

i was already feeling awful physically because most of my intake the previous day had been cheese, so wheeee dairy and almost-diarrhea as well as reasonably severe stomach pain. stress was making me dissociate a bit as well.

so. caffeine time.

keep working. more caffeine time.

keep working. more caffeine, an unmeasured amount of sugar, and another couple of spoonfuls of coffee because why not. because of a mysterious headache (likely caused by a combination of too much coffee, no food, and dairy the previous day), took ibuprofen.

keep working. more coffee. more headache. more ibuprofen.

at that point i was entirely detached from my body, experiencing symptoms of a caffeine overdose and potentially ibuprofen overdose too (didn't exceed the maximum for ibuprofen in a day, but in that short a time yes, and certainly caffeine), and saying all the stuff that worried boundin. still working on the assignment though while feeling unreal to a complete degree, not just partial, and noting symptoms as an intellectual exercise. was not present in my body at all. oh, did i mention i hadn't eaten that day? i was also experiencing violent nausea.

keep working. song still on loop. headache reducing. time passed and the reaction i was experiencing began to fade. brother gave me chocolate at some point near the end.

completed and submitted assignment about five minutes before i had to go out for the evening. somehow not at all shaky but i could feel all my skin and was inclined towards giggling.

arrived at friends' house. mentor asked how my day had been. i began laughing, explained what my day had been doing, and ended up giggling helplessly. she looked Concerned++ as i hilariously recounted my accidental overdoses x2 and that i hadn't eaten anything except chocolate, sugar, caffeine and ibuprofen that day. i made many jokes throughout the meal but mostly restrained myself overall - i was self-aware enough to know how abnormally i was acting, but it was so hard to avoid these things. inclined to laughter the whole evening, though after eating actual food that didn't contain sugar it did settle a little. later in the evening i impulse-agreed to a thing saturday i didn't want to go to, noted the concerning level of impulsivity and restrained myself from agreeing to anything else.

was offered, and enthusiastically consumed, a quantity of cold roast potatoes, which definitely helped as well.

arrived home less inclined towards giggling, but still violently nauseous; managed to avoid throwing up by the barest of margins. practically inhaled bread and ham, which i found too sweet because it was housed in the same fridge as bananas; found peanut butter for the last slice of bread, which helped. still feeling very ill but suspected i needed it given all the everything - i think this was the right call.

went to bed, yoinked ransom, cuddled him forcibly and eventually managed to sleep, still feeling rather quite hyper.

this morning i am still slightly hyper and mildly unwell but fatigue is balancing the tendency towards impulsivity. am not going to consume either caffeine or ibuprofen today unless something drastic changes or something, and a hard ban on both refined sugar and dairy until i feel more normal again.

bit of a rollercoaster.

[pigeonstab]

Hihi!! I'm gonna be streaming this Staturday 3pm EST / 9pm CET

It's probably gonna be an art stream, I might play Undertale, if you have the time come join!

[airenyah]

i've managed to get really far with my ep4 meta, i've only got just over 3 scenes left (the "be my bf" scene, style finding out the truth, the gym scene, and i gotta finish the nc scene) but the problem is that i've only got about 4h left which i'll probably need to write it all up in the first place (also it's less than 3h bc i'm also travelling) and then i would still need to make the gifs and proof read it, which is also gonna be time consuming rip

[heartorbit]

a mob of emus for an artstyle game on twt! ^_^

[jorenilee]

ok elusive and big ass rant about chatgpt and groupmates under the cut

like. as much as i hated chatgpt, there was some kernel within me that wondered if all this talk about chatgpt rendering people helpless and vulnerable and unable to think for themselves, if that was all fearmongering. Im aware that I'm surrounded by people that use it, and it sucks, but could it really make all these university students forget to function.

well today I figured out the answer was yes because holyyy shittt. my groupmates were just copy and pasting whatever chatgpt shat out directly into our assignment, and because chatgpt isn't a damn student and doesnt know the course, it kept mentioning shit we never learned or approached the questions the complete wrong way. And my groupmates never even noticed. They could not even tell it was bringing up statistical tests we never learned and coding nowhere near our course, they were just regurgitating what it said with no further thought on if it was actually right or not.

And I was pissed because a lot of that regurgitation was just Wrong and formatted like ass, so I had to rewrite all of it, but now I'm sad cuz like. Do you not even recognize what is and isn't course material? Do you not even double check what it says? If it's remotely right? If it's even answering the damn question?

I literally told someone that heyyy question 3 is extremely similar to question 2, so copy and paste the code for question 2 and just exchange the names of variables and that's literally it. But then they experienced 1 setback and immediately went back to chatgpt, which then regurgitated an entirely different code that guess what!!! Didn't work at all!!!! I asked hey why, they said it didn't work. I went to our lecture notes, copied exactly 2 lines of code from the question 2 code, changed the variable names and guess what!!!! it worked!!! Instantly!!!!!! No errors!!!!!

Like holy shit I NEVER had code instantly work like that before, and it took pressing ctrl c+v and the most bare minimum, highest tip of the iceberg understanding of coding for me to fix it. I don't know how you could have fucked up so bad that it didn't work first try. And what's awesome is that question 2's code also took multiple tries because they were asking chatgpt and I kept saying shit like "hey we never learned about if-else statements and its messing up the code", question 2 eventually worked out, and then they immediately gave me the question 3 code with another if-else statement. Like do you READ?? WHAT IT SAYS???

It was maddening because like, what are you guys even paying $400 for at that point. Not even looking at any of the lecture material, not even knowing the shit we Don't Know, not even attempting ANY of the questions without the torment nexus, and then relying on someone else to fact check that torment nexus because you didn't even think it needed fact-checking. And it's especially dystopian when my TA is recommending chatgpt when I literally saw how BAD and WRONG it was at EVERY step.

I thought ppl were being ever-so-slightly dramatic when describing chatgpt as making people wholly complacent and taking away free thought, but I kinda saw it with my own eyes??? For something as small as a statistics assignment??? I kinda wish chatgpt would just pull the plug right now and slap a huge paywall on it just so people can catch themselves early. Because my god, what would yall do without it. What could yall do without it. This shit burned like 3 trees just to tell me a p-value that didnt exist.

[omg-ame-chan]

i need to start grinding my grades are not looking good.. but i dont wanna study i dont wannaaaaaaaa

[gridgamesgalore]

im afraid my evil classmates are out to get me

[feral-mouse]

I had the sudden urge to write about Ronny crying so 👁️👁️

Putting it under the cut because I'm not used to sharing my writing so 😅 (it is also >850 words and I want to prevent clutter lol)

By anyways, pov you have been captured by Ronny and have gained enough affection with him that you're able to prevent another torture session 🤪 spdjfspd

He was taunting you with the knife, twirling it in his hand as he slowly lurked towards you. It was the same song and dance, and he loved it – you squirming against the cuffs around your wrists, arms bound to the pole behind you, as Ronny crept forward with that snarky grin on his face.

“Ronny, please. You don’t have to do this-”

“Oh really? And why not?”

He crept closer, relishing your fear. You could see the excitement in his eyes, the malicious intent. But even despite the situation, a part of you wanted to believe that he could change, that he could be talked out of this. You’ve seen the softer sides of him by this point, there’s clearly something there worth exploring. You weren’t sure whether you were being quite honest with your words either, but if you could just get him to listen, maybe you could at least stop him. It was worth a shot anyways.

“Because deep down, you’re a good person.”

He stalls for a moment, looking at you with disbelief as the smile on his face cracks a bit.

“You… you think I’m a good person?”

He looks almost offended, then hesitant. He stalls again, his eyes turning away from you as he lets out a small laugh.

“Y-you can’t-! Haha…. fuck…!”

A strained smile creeps onto his face again as he stumbles slightly. Another laugh slips from his throat as he lets his arms fall to his side, his eyes traveling elsewhere. He doesn’t seem to know what to do, you’ve never really seen him like this before. He just continues to laugh, his face changing from disbelief to thinking, to amusement and… guilt? He runs a hand through his hair as he almost curls in on himself, the knife still hanging loosely in his hand. His face suddenly twists to anger as he spins around, chucking the knife with all of his might as it clangs across the room.

“FUCK!!!”

His hands are back to his head, clutching his face as he lets in a sharp inhale, a scowl peeking through. His arms are trembling.

He roughly swings them back down to his sides, finally turning back to face you. He falters as he takes a step forward.

“W-why-! Ugh-! Why do you always-?!”

He’s struggling to find the words, you can see that clearly in his eyes. You always knew that it was difficult for him to control his temperament. The same applies now. He catches himself, his eyes darting around uncertainly before landing back onto your bound form.

“Fuck, why do you always make me… feel this way?!”

His voice is strained, as if it was difficult for him to even say those words in the first place. He turns away from you again, almost embarrassed as he paces back and forth. You can practically see the tension in his body as his mouth continues to move, the words failing to come out at first.

“I-I don’t… Fuck- I don’t get you! What can you possibly see in me?! I’m not a good person! I never fucking was!”

He spins back around to look at you, with almost desperation behind his eyes. You can tell he’s holding himself back.

“So why the fuck do you keep-…! Gah- why do you care so much?!”

His hands are shaking, he doesn’t know what to do with them.

“Because who else will?”

He freezes as your words hit him. He doesn’t say anything, his eyes slowly turning to the ground as he takes it in. It’s hard to tell just what he’s thinking, he’s not showing it on his face at all. You finally see his mouth twitch slightly, the muscles in his face slowly turning into a frown as his shoulders tremble. He’s clearly caught off guard as the first tear falls down his cheek, shaking his head he finally brings his hands up to try to hide his face. The tears keep coming, it starts becoming difficult for him to catch it all as he incessantly wipes his eyes. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him so distraught before, it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him cry.

A strained hiccup slips through as his body starts to tremble. It soon becomes more difficult for him to hold back his sobs. Silent curses spew from his lips, clearly embarrassed as he cries in front of you. You can’t tell whether he’s happy or despaired. Maybe it’s a mix of both.

Your eyes snap back up to his form as he starts to move towards you, unsure if he’s about to lash out. Instead, he stops next to you, plopping down to your side as he buries his face in his hands.

The two of you continue to sit like this for the next couple of minutes, with Ronny crying by your side as you remain tied to the pole. He fully keeps to himself, refusing to lift his head. It’s an almost awkward silence, with neither of you choosing to acknowledge the other. His strained hiccups and sniffles fill the room, unable to fully compose himself.

He’s an ugly crier.

[clumsypuppy]

How do you do fellow human?

if i answered this 2 weeks ago i would have said i want a quick and easy death <- currently on school break

[sunnwalker]

kind of incredibly unwell but i got my homework done can everyone tell me how normal i am for stressing over three lines of code

[softservesoymilk]

[valaratminaforaldrar]

big fuck you to the teacher who said my assignment sucked twice, didn't give any constructive criticism or advice, and then when he finally passed me said "hmm it wasn't that good but you passed ig"

[bmpmp3]

hello kitty blanket on branches, oil on paper