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pricemarshfield · 3 years

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i dig you

A fluff & angst Amberprice fic. Chapter 1/2. Read on AO3 here.

Chloe still seems shocked every time Rachel sits next to her at lunch. She hides it well, snarks at anyone who questions them, teases Rachel about the plays she still brings to read and reread again and again.

But Rachel's pretty insightful, and she notices when Chloe's eyes widen, when she shifts like she's not quite sure what to do, when her smile dims a little when Victoria loudly questions why Rachel's still hanging around the soon-to-be-dropout.

She's not sure what to do about it. If she just tells her no, Chloe, I do want to be here still, she's sure Chloe'd find a way to take it the wrong way, question why she needed to bring it up, deny she ever doubted it in the first place. One or all of those things. She loves her, but her abandonment issues run deep. Rachel could punch Victoria, but she'd definitely get kicked out for that, and she doesn't want to risk law school.

So she makes an effort to include Chloe in everything. Chloe sits in on rehearsals, ignoring Mr. Keaton's increasingly desperate attempts to get her to join or at least take the intro elective class. They get high in the junkyard, find a little room and make it their own with graffiti (with actual spray paint, thank you, not a Sharpie). Rachel watches Chloe's weird movies, Chloe watches Rachel's Broadway bootlegs, they listen to punk and drive around in the truck, fabric of the seat replaced so they can't see the deep, dark red stain from when she got stabbed.

It doesn't change anything. Chloe still looks at her like it'll be the last time they hang out every time they have some minor disagreement, texts a hundred times in a row begging her not to leave her every time she gets drunk without Rachel there to reassure her in person. It's...a little exhausting, if she's being honest. She loves Chloe, she wants to help her! But it's...sometimes she's just trying to have fun with some other group, and it's been three parties of that in a row.

"You texting your girlfriend?" asks some well-meaning newbie to the Vortex Club. Rachel opens her mouth to deny it, already dreading having to make herself heard over Victoria's snide commentary and Nathan's barely-veiled homophobia, but then her phone goes off again, and again, and one more time for good measure.

"I do have to take this," she says, and pretends she can't hear the conversation that kicks up before the door's fully shut behind her.

The cool, fresh air outside is refreshing, and she takes a couple deep breaths before calling Chloe.

"Rachel," Chloe says, voice slurring enough that Rachel's heart immediately kicks into a higher gear.

"Hey, Chlo," Rachel says, a nickname she has not used once in her life. "What's up?"

"Wher're you?" Chloe asks instead. Rachel doesn't hear the sound of the train, so probably not in the junkyard? But it could just not be passing.

"At Blackwell," Rachel says, which isn't, technically, a lie. She's on school grounds, and she says it casually enough that Chloe doesn't immediately push. "Do you want to come over? We could put on a movie, light some incense."

Chloe laughs, and the sound is light and easy before it cuts out abruptly. She can't hear anything on the other end.

"Chloe? Are you okay?"

"I'm fucking fine," Chloe says, and she keeps her voice quiet, so that means she's at her house. Rachel's tipsiness from earlier in the night has long since faded, she's probably good to drive, and she really, really doesn't want to leave Chloe alone. There's an edge to her voice that Rachel doesn't trust, reminds her of the fragility in her mom's voice the last time she visited before apparently disappearing off the face of the earth.

Rachel hopes she's in rehab. But she thinks Rose would tell her if that was the case.

"Okay," Rachel says. "I'd still like to hang out, if you're free."

"'Course I'm free," Chloe says. "i don't have any fuckin' friends, do I." It's not said like a question.

"You have me."

"Right," Chloe says. "Just the best of friends."

Rachel's already in the parking lot, trying to remember where the hell she'd parked the car. (Her dad's: knowing how much evidence they have on him working with Damon, he's been inclined to give her everything she wants, especially now that she's already met her mom. Rose still tries, too.) "Yeah. We're best friends, Chloe. You're the person I care about most in this shithole town."

"Yeah," Chloe says. "Yeah, when are we leaving, again? Thought you wanted to leave more than anything?"

"I did!" Rachel says, then corrects, "I do. I had to heal up after getting stabbed, remember?"

It's shitty and manipulative, but it works; Chloe's irritation switches to concern. "Yeah. I remember."

"But I am feeling better now," Rachel says. "I'm ready to go when you are."

"Now?"

"Sure," Rachel says. "Tell me where you are."

"Step-dick's house," Chloe says, quieter now. "Do you mean it?"

"Of course I mean it," Rachel says. "Do you still have all the clothes I packed you?"

"Yeah," Chloe says, voice hitching a little like she's about to cry. "I do."

"Awesome," Rachel says, excited despite herself. "Then I'll see you soon."

---

Rachel wants to be ready for the grand adventure with her friend at her side, but Chloe's house is more than a couple minutes' drive from Blackwell, which gives the logical parts of her plenty of time to ask her what the fuck she thinks she's doing.

They have no money. Rachel's barely gotten her first credit card, and it has, like, 1500 dollars on it. Which is a lot of money, but she's already spent some of it on alcohol, on their half-decent fakes, on Venmoing Frank for their weed or the other things she's tentatively tried. So they have about a thousand, which will cover gas to LA, at least, and probably food, and do they really need hotel rooms?

But of course they need hotel rooms, they can't just park by the side of the road in the middle-of-nowhere freeways. Those are like...fifty bucks? A hundred bucks? They can share a bed, that should make it cheaper.

So. A thousand will get them to LA. Then they'll...get jobs, Rachel guesses.

She's got this idea of herself working at a diner, wearing some cute outfit with pops of red, serving coffee and making small talk with the chefs while she waits for her big break. But that's only good for the modelling; she wants to go into law one day, too.

Maybe she can transfer to a school there? Showing she's independent enough to live on her own (with Chloe, of course, but without her parents there) has to look good on an application?

Or reckless and irresponsible, like her dad keeps calling Chloe.

All-in-all, Rachel's doubting everything in her entire life as she pulls up to Chloe's house. Chloe isn't outside, and she's about to throw some pebbles at her window when the front door opens with barely a creak.

"Did you oil the hinges?" Rachel asks, trying to keep the tone light. "Handy."

Chloe beams at her, wearing Rachel's old tarot shirt. Fuck, her tarot decks, she wants to bring those. All her things. At least some clothes. Probably some food, too?

"Do you have all the stuff you wanna bring?" Rachel asks. "We might need to stop by my place."

"That's what you said last time," Chloe says, but looks at Rachel, wearing her party outfit--only a tank top and some high shorts, which are cute but not great for the only outfit to have in a big life change--and shrugs.

Rachel breathes a sigh of relief. "Plus, they'll get mad if we steal the car. And gas is gonna be expensive enough."

"Don't care," Chloe says. "I'll take the truck."

Chloe, who is visibly swaying on her feet, is absolutely not good to drive. Rachel thinks for a second--if she drives her dad's car back, Chloe can be in the passenger seat, but then they'll have to walk with all her bags back to the truck. If they take the truck, Rachel can leave the keys and a note explaining where it is. They'll be mad, but whatever.

"Can I drive your truck, actually?" Rachel asks, and Chloe shrugs again. It won't be the first time behind the wheel of the truck, but it will be the first time on actual roads, not the paths they'd cleared in the junkyard. "Thanks, Chloe."

"Sure," Chloe says, tossing her the keys and yanking at the handle on her side. Rachel opens her door, reaches over to unlock the passenger side so Chloe can climb in. "What are we getting?"

"Clothes," Rachel says. "Maybe my tarot decks."

A couple of the plays she has physical copies of. Any and all drugs left in her room. Her flashlight that Chloe made for her. The important things.

"Okay," Chloe says. "You mean it? We're gonna leave?"

"I do," Rachel says, and she should kiss her. She should. She has before. She wants to. But she looks at Chloe, eyes still wide with disbelief that Rachel will follow her, will help lead the way out. If she pushes this, and she's wrong...

Rachel grabs her hand instead, smiles at her. Chloe squeezes it, and they keep holding hands the whole way to the Amber house. Rachel hopes she won't ever let go.

#amberprice #rachel amber #chloe price #life is strange #my fics #OKAY done crossposting sorry for spam everyone

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tangent101 · 4 years

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Let’s talk about Rachel...

Just recently over at Twitter I was commenting on how adult-teenager ships in LiS (and let’s be honest, most similar ships) is creepy as fuck and then I started wondering. What was it that caused Rachel to start going out with older men? Well, in canon she was “desperate” to get out of Arcadia Bay. But just what was going on that drove that need to escape?

While I consider BtS to be creative fanfiction at best, for this initial bit I’m going to pretend parts of it could be canon. So let’s pretend that Rachel’s father was the DA for the area (and chose to live in Arcadia Bay, a town based on Garibaldi Oregon with a population of around 1,000). His ex cleans up her act, gets off of drugs, and tries to get visitation rights for Rachel. He then contracts out the local drug dealer and has her kidnapped and dosed with drugs to “prove” she’s unfit.

The mere rumor of impropriety has sunk the political careers of better men than James Amber. But if Chloe told the truth to Rachel and they tried to spread the truth of what happened to Rachel’s biological mom and he got reelected anyway then yeah. I could potentially see Rachel being disgusted by the entire region and wanting to get the fuck out of what will be future Trump County, willing to vote for the white “law and justice” candidate and ignore the truth.

But somehow this theory falls flat because first, Chloe never tells Max about it, and second, it doesn’t begin to explain why Rachel is into older men. If anything, BtS would have Rachel be more like Chloe - hating older men and not trusting them. Frank, with his old connections to Damon Merrick, would never be trusted - not even after he (unarmed, wounded, and in tremendous pain) was able to save Chloe from an armed and murderous Damon Merrick. Yeah, that honestly doesn’t work.

So now let’s examine just the original game. We have no idea who Rachel’s parents are or what they do. We do know that in the original timeline they gave up looking for Rachel and Chloe is the only one seeking her. We also know that in the William Lives timeline they are still actively seeking Rachel. This suggests that Rachel’s relationship with Chloe somehow soured Rachel’s relationship with her parents.

Rachel is bisexual. She’s the one canon bisexual character in the game (while I understand folk like to see Max as bi due to the shoehorned shoddy relationship she can try to start up with Warren, when you read her journal it’s clear that she actually sees Warren as a brother and is a Narnian lesbian and it snows that first day in Arcadia Bay because she brought snow back with her from the closet she was in) and was in confirmed relationships with Jeffershit and Frank Bowers. Her relationship with Chloe was strong enough that Chloe truly acts like a spurned lover when she learns Rachel was sleeping with Frank. There were also rumors that Rachel was promiscuous with the graffiti and various catty things said about her.

It can be argued that Frank and Jefferson both had one thing Rachel wanted: a means of leaving Arcadia Bay. Chloe had her truck, but while they could leave Arcadia Bay, they’d not get far without money or shelter. Frank had his RV and his drugs were a source of income. Jefferson had contacts in the modeling industry that Rachel desperately wanted. Hell, if it’s to be believed, she even hit on some older male trucker because his truck was a way out of Arcadia Bay. But honestly... this starts to fall short. What was driving Rachel to leave?

Let’s look at the difference between the Prime Timeline and the William Lives timeline once again. When Chloe is in Rachel’s life, her parents have given up looking for Rachel. Only Chloe still seeks her. But in the William Lives timeline, they are still actively looking for her. Chloe seems to be one of the keys here. When Chloe is part of Rachel’s life, her parents have washed their hands of her. When Chloe is not a part of her life? They are worried for her.

Rachel’s parents were homophobes.

Chloe was never one to hide who she is. But let’s be honest... Chloe is also not exactly the most perceptive of people either. There was a wadded up ball of a note in her hideout for six months that she never once opened? She was truly surprised that Frank and Rachel had shacked up? She never once heard the rumors about Rachel and Jeffershit? Chloe was in her own world and that world was Rachel. Her parents were superfluous. Frank was their dealer. Jeffershit was some hipster photographer whose photos Rachel loved. And all those guys that Rachel flirted with? That was nothing, just Rachel getting Chloe’s goat.

So I could easily see Rachel’s parents with a “Southern hospitality” mentality who smile at you and say things akin to “bless your heart” and are quietly saying “fuck you and die slowly in a fire” with those three words. Ironically enough, Chloe was raised by a Southerner who, if she’d ever seen Rachel’s parents interact with Chloe would need David to hold her back because how dare those distinguished individuals say such truly nasty things about her angel. (Only she and David are allowed to treat Chloe like shit.)

Rachel’s parents wrote their daughter off when they realized their daughter was one of them. A lesbian. And she doesn’t swear off from Chloe, promise never to talk to her again. So “she moved away” and Chloe sees them in denial when in fact her parents are politely telling Chloe to go away and never return because it’s Chloe’s fault their daughter is missing, not their own for driving their daughter away from them.

There was no Chloe in Rachel’s life in the William Lives timeline. Her parents are leading the search much like Chloe did. Because their daughter never shamed them by being gay.

When I originally was crafting this examination into Rachel, I must admit my mind was going somewhere... well, it’s not darker per say. Because being in a homophobic environment is pretty damn dark. But I had speculated initially that Rachel was into “older men” because she was being molested. This could still be the case, but it doesn’t quite feel right. Rachel was into Frank and Jeffershit as a means to escape an abusive household. The abuse was not physical, but was emotional and psychological.

But having lived in a homophobic and transphobic household... you want to escape that. It slowly shreds your soul. Having parents that look at you as an insult, who consider your true self to be something that’s ruined their lives? You want to escape that. It colors your actions and views. More, it damages your relationships. Because I wonder if one reason Rachel cheated on Chloe was because of her parents’ reaction to her?

Did Rachel internalize that biphobia and hate? If her parents had been more accepting and loved their daughter and didn’t try to control their daughter’s life, then Rachel may have ended up remaining true to Chloe. More, we might have seen Rachel then as a more positive element in Chloe’s life. Chloe might have ended up trying in school because Rachel encouraged her to. Max may have gone to Arcadia Bay in 2013 to find Chloe was gone... off to college with Rachel Amber. The Amberprice relationship may have ended up healthy because Rachel was in a good place in her life.

It’s a shame that Deck Nine didn’t look at this. They went with a half-assed fanfic with drug dealers and ignoring the fact Joyce started flirting with David six weeks after the death of William and married him before Chloe’s 16th birthday, barely a year after William’s death. They failed to show how the hateful actions of parents can push a child away from them, and lead them down a tragic path. They forgot that conflict is not physical but can instead be psychological and emotional.

Because let’s face it. Many of us can identify with children whose parents don’t approve of them or have disowned them for being Other. Whether that’s queer, artistic, or just “not how we raised you.” Many of us have parents who treat us with disdain for being who we are, instead of some doll they can mold to be what they want to be. If that is the face of Rachel Amber? Then we all can see a glimpse of her when we stare into the mirror.

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sordidbask · 5 years

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LIFE IS STRANGE COMIC RANT

So... I have officially finished reading the Life is Strange comics up to Issue #12 and I have some things to say.

SPOILERS i guess...

For starters, I have to wonder... what did the writers even hope to accomplish by making these? Did they want to show a continuation of the bae over bay ending featuring Max and Chloe dealing with the aftermath of that fateful week? Did they want to provide some form of closure for Pricefield supporters who were left wanting after an open-ended finale? It sure seemed that way from how the comics were marketed. And yet, I'm sitting here writing this feeling outraged at how this story, even if non-canon, was handled. I feel disgusted by how they handled Max's personality and motivations, how pathetic she feels and how downright painful it is to read some of her thoughts. Every issue I found myself frowning and repeating in my mind that "Max would never do that", "There's no way Max would say that", "Chloe would never be ok with that". Are we supposed to accept that Max would just abandon Chloe because reality is messing up for some reason and suddenly we learn that the Max from the comics is not the actual Max we played as in the game but rather a Max that doesn't belong in that reality and has to go to a timeline in which she is the third wheel to a love triangle between Chloe and Rachel so that the Chloe from the destroyed bay timeline can stay behind and look for her own Max or the Max that actually belongs in that timeline? Are there two Maxes in the same universe at the same time and Chloe has to look for her on her own for years and this other Max just kisses her goodbye forever? Max, who did everything she did during that week for Chloe, who went through hell and back to keep Chloe at her side, who sacrificed and entire town and let her friends die all for her love of Chloe would just leave her behind, teleport to a new universe and accept that Chloe is already taken in this new reality and would stop loving her romantically? If you love me let me go bullshit? Really? We played as Max, we rooted for her and we wanted her and Chloe to be together but to see her submissively accepting a reality in which she is friendzoned by Chloe because Chloe is happy there and she can't go back because the plot doesn't let her or she doesn't want to because apparently she is perfectly fine with being friendzoned for years by the woman she loves all in the name of "... but she is happy"????? When Max dreams of "her Chloe" telling her that she shouldn't forget her guilt for what happened in Arcadia Bay and should always remember it because it somehow makes her a good person, are we supposed to accept that too? Is that the message? She isn't allowed to let go? She isn't allowed to move on? Her being in this reality is some kind on punishment by the universe that she must endure? Max even convinces herself that it's bad and selfish that she wants to go back to the only reality she has ever known because... the universe doesn't want her to and will keep sending her into these flickers? Issue #12 is all about bulding up the tension towards this great climax where Max will access the Transect or whatthefuckever and be reunited with "her" Chloe, the Chloe we know, after two years of fucking around and when she finally finds her timeline... nope, anti-climax, she can't access it, she can't go back to her, she is stuck here so might as well go on a road trip and watch how happy the person she loves is with some other chick who she has to accept as her BFF. It's all so insulting and stupid.

I'm not really sure why I'm ranting about this since it feels like a lot like needlessly and senselessly ripping into somebody else's AU fic which might be their own interpretation of things and that's perfectly fine, but the thing is this is an officially licensed product sold for money and marketed primarily at people who chose the bae over bay ending and I went into the comics thinking that. I read somewhere that the story was meant to be wrapped up in Issue #4 but because of the overwhelming success and some outside intervention, they decided to prolong the story. And now we have Amberpricefield for everyone and zero closure and love for Pricefield supporters. Yay.

This is strictly personal but I hate Amberprice to no end. I believe Rachel is a well-crafted character and I respect her as such, I just hate who she is, her personality, her behaviour, her manipulation of everyone around her. And with this in mind, seeing Amberprice so vividly when I myself am a die-hard Pricefielder was more than a little jarring. I get that this is a new reality where everyone is happy and Rachel never cheated on Chloe and genuinely reciprocates her feelings. Thing is, we were never exposed to that, we were never shown how such a perfect relationship could be built between these characters and as such I can't see a reason to root for it. What little Amberprice we got was in the form of a semi-canon prequel game and even there it was left ambiguous as to whether Rachel returned Chloe's feelings or not. What we do know for certain is that Rachel manipulated Chloe to get out of Arcadia Bay, encouraged the more self-destructive aspects of her personality and, if you want to go the romance route, she canonically cheated on her twice. That's why I had trouble seeing so much Amberprice and Max not only being a witness to the whole thing but accepting it with her head down.

I hate shitting on people's work but ultimately I feel insulted by how the writers handled the story and these characters that are so dear to my heart. I don't mind Amberprice or Amberpricefield stories on AO3 or fanfiction.net which rewrite the character of Rachel to make her less of an asshole because I ignore them and, in the end, people can write about whateverthefuck they want. But the fact that they baited us and promised us a Pricefield story and what we got instead was an idyllic Amberprice with a friendzoned Max... I cannot see it as anything other than an insult.

And the last straw came in the form of that unspeakable road trip idea and the caption "Partners in time" used for Max, Chloe and the other one. I used to think that Amberprice was insulting but now I realize that Amberpricefield is even more insulting. Why the hell did we play 10 hours of a game which, at its core, was essentially about the relationship between these two characters called MAX AND CHLOE? Why the need to shove Rachel Amber wherever possible and, to add insult to injury, take a phrase so iconic, so powerful and so personal which belongs only to Max and Chloe such as "Partners in Time" and use it to refer to the three of them? Are we supposed to be OK with that? We fell in love with how much these two characters loved each other and to add a third participant feels incredibly out of place. Feels like the writers of the comic actively hate Max and Pricefielders who chose the bae over bay ending and think that what the fandom needs is to have the trio of the most important characters in Season 1 as BFF's as if we're still waiting for the release of Chaos Theory. Are these the new powerpuff girls, Titan Comics? Give me a break.

I'm going to keep reading, not buying, the comics just to see what else they can do with this clusterfuck of a story and how much more they can shit on Max, Chloe and Pricefield supporters. Honestly, I hope we see more love for Pricefield in future issues (judging from her Christmas sketch, at least the illustrator is slightly more Pricefield than the writer) but all seems to indicate that it's only going to go downhill from here.

Just needed to get this off my chest.

#life is strange #max and chloe #pricefield #rant post

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amberprice4everbrazil · 6 years

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Chloe de Lis lied to Rachel and the Lis comic.

Well, I just saw the fourth issue of Life Is Strange Dust Comic, the conclusion I got is that Chloe de Lis lied to Rachel, and this spawned Rachel that we see in Lis, which is hated by many and extremely misunderstood.

The evidence in Lis, Bts and Lis comic that Chloe lied to Rachel, are:

1. The conversation of Chloe and Sera in BtS.

Chloe: Do not you think the truth is more important?

Sera: The truth? What’s so good really, Chloe?

Chloe: I can not lie to Rachel. I will not do that. She trusts me and I do not want to ruin it.

Sera: If you love her, you will lie to her. You can do whatever you want, Chloe. You have the power. What you have to decide is whether you will protect Rachel, or cause her even more pain. So please tell her that I’ve never been here. Let her have the peace she can. Without me.

In BtS supposedly tried to explain the behavior of Rachel in the first game through the history of its mother, but that did not make sense.

Why there are three endings in BtS:

A) One where Chloe tells the truth, but Rachel did not know Sera.

B) Another where Chloe tells the truth and Rachel knows Sera (to get this there are two ways, you can ask for Rachel’s bracelet and deliver it to Sera or you convince Sera in her dialogue with Chloe, the latter being the most difficult).

C) If Chloe tells the truth, Rachel know Sera, and the Rachel de Lis would not exist, because Sera would be an example for her not to engage with drugs and not the other way around. Sera did her rehab and was clean. Another thing Rachel does not even smoke in BtS.

2. They stayed in Arcadia Bay. Rachel was always able to get away on her own, she told at the kissing scene that she had the money for it (“Allowance money” or her father’s bribe, as she herself said. What James hid, in addition to Sera), but as we saw on BTS, she wanted to get away with Chloe. So why did not Rachel de Lis escape by herself? As Chloe lied to her, she continued her relationship with her family initially, a relationship that was one of Rachel’s reasons for wanting to flee, was reestablished by Chloe’s lie, and this we see in the epilogue where Rachel dines with James, Rose and Chloe and she seems happy, the momentary stability this brought led them both to wait longer to get more money to flee in the future, but what could happen if Rachel found out later that Chloe lied to her. What would happen to Rachel’s relationship with Chloe, and her relationship with her parents? Chloe the only person in the world Rachel could trust, see what Rachel tells Chloe in the scene in her room, after discovering that her father lied about her biological mother in BtS: I think you’re the only one in the world who I can trust. Yeah, I believe she later discovered Chloe’s lie, and it destroyed her relationship with her parents, especially her father, who possibly stopped giving her money, or she did not want to be supported by him any more , leading her to run out of money. The initial money Rachel had could have been spent by her and Chloe during their momentary peace of fun, or she could have spent that money to pay for the dormitory in Blackwell, of course, if she could not get a scholarship for it since his grades were high. At last she clearly wanted to move there because of her broken relationship with her parents, because there would be no other reason for it, after all she had a house in the city, and the dormitories were only for people who came from other cities and had no a home in Arcadia Bay. The reason she did not run away on her own after discovering that Chloe had lied to her was possibly because she had no money or could not let Chloe, which seems to be so, why there is a lot of evidence in Lis that, though subtle. Maybe she forgave Chloe, but their relationship did not remain the same, but I think she still wanted to get to run away with Chloe. Rachel was in love with Chloe, in BtS we see this, in option, something more or friendship, if you choose the “friendship” option, you can see Rachel’s sincere disappointment. She asks the question: Oh, is that all? And before she sets fire to the oak, Rachel says with the same disappointment what was happening between them was something special, even if to Chloe everything is just friendship. In this case, I even like the “friendship” option. Because here you can see very well how Rachel related to Chloe (you can still choose a kiss in the second episode). And even if Chloe did not speak directly about her feelings, Rachel herself shows it. Chloe was probably Rachel’s first love. In addition, Rachel de Lis owes money to one person, carved from a tree near Prescott Dormitory in Blackwell, we see the following inscription “Rachel Amber owes me money. Pay Bitch”

3. Rachel did not have a good relationship with her parents in Lis, they did not search for her, they acted cold, they did not believe something wrong could have happened, Chloe tried to persuade them but failed, why she did not have a good relationship with Rachel’s parents either.

4. The strongest evidence that Chloe lied to Rachel is in Life is Strange Dust comic, which implicitly demonstrates that Chloe de Lis, lied to Rachel and feels guilty about it, Chloe in reviewing her in an alternate reality demonstrates this in your speeches and expressions, you can see in the image. She says: Rachel I … Rachel waits! Rachel! I’m sorry, Rachel. It may be that Chloe feels guilty for not being able to save Rachel, but besides, I think she feels guilty for never telling Rachel herself the truth and their relationship has gone wrong because of it, so they do not run away and Rachel died in the Dark Room. Of course, the fault of Rachel’s death was not Chloe’s, but her lie may be one of the things that, which led to Rachel dying in this reality. Because at the end of the fourth edition of the comic, there is a reality where the two managed to escape and are together in Santa Monica in 2014, this reality must be the reality where Chloe told the truth, and both fled early from Arcadia Bay. Thus Rachel did not die in the Dark Room. Rachel’s personality in BtS shows that she would flee Arcadia Bay much earlier with Chloe, after Chloe tells the truth. See the BtS cut off dialogue in the hospital scene, if you choose the Tell Rachel All option, the conversation is as follows.

Chloe: Your father … he’s working with Damon.

Rachel: What?

Chloe: They found your mother. She kidnapped him. There’s almost been killed.

Rachel: No. That’s not … that’s not true.

Chloe: I was there. I saw all this. It was so awful. But it’s true.

Rachel: No.

Chloe: I’m so sorry.

Rachel: No. No, no, no!

Rachel is shocked and upset, and James and Rose presumably hear her and enter the room, worried. The two of them go to her, but Rachel reaches for James. Chloe gets up and tries to hug Rachel, and she resists at first, but lets Chloe comfort her. Rachel starts to cry and looks angrily at James, who looks very sad and distressed.

Anyway, Rachel deserved more in the comic, they should have explained her behavior in it. Rachel deserved more on Lis and Bts as well.

Lis is about, overcoming the problems of real life and redemption. Everyone has a second chance:

Max had a chance to redeem himself after years of ignoring Chloe;

Chloe had the chance to redeem himself, to be a selfish person;

David had a chance to redeem himself from being a violent stepfather;

Frank had the chance to redeem himself from being a pedophile and an idiot;

Victoria had the chance to redeem herself, to be a bitch;

Nathan had the chance to redeem himself from being a broken and psychopathic teenager;

EVEN THE JEFFERSHIT’S BITCH WILL HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO RECOVER IN THE JAIL!

But how was Rachel’s image? It was that of a traitor, a liar and manipulative, because hardly anyone notices that she is the doe that guides Max during the game to do justice to her and Chloe that they would die in the hands of psychopaths. That her disappearance makes Max and Chloe have more contact and be together during that week.

At least the end of the comic she is alive, at least this they gave her, the opportunity not to die in a plastic bag in a dirty hole in a pile of crap!

One I say one thing to you, Rachel is a misunderstood character because it was poorly developed.

In Lis, we spent the fucking game looking for Rachel, who is clearly important to the story and to Chloe

What do we know for sure about Rachel since the first game? The development of Rachel’s character is the biggest shit I’ve ever seen in a video game and the story of the character. She was hardly a character in the first game to begin with. She was a plot item. But even the plot items can be explained, but not Rachel, why?! Oh, I remember, because DONTNOD wanted her to be the mysterious character. Fuck that! With that they turned her into a negative character.

In BtS, they excluded almost everything about her relationship with Chloe, which clearly showed that she was developed to be Chloe’s romantic coupl. What is the purpose of having a game that forces players to make multiple decisions, just to have the same final shit ?! There was no closing, no choice mattered, no hope, nothing. It was not bittersweet. It was just mean and annoying.

This is not about Amberprice vs. Pricefield, it’s just Rachel’s plot and character development, it’s about the message they passed on to lesbians.

They could give Rachel a proper story and an adequate explanation, not this painful and messy story about being harassed by a pedophile drug dealer, and killed by a pedophile psychopathic teacher.

Something bad happened to her that broke her even more and led her down a very lonely and dark path. There is a lot of evidence pointing to this in the first game. In addition, there is a possibility that Rachel was murdered only during episode 1 because of the doe and the stench of her pit, meaning she may have been in Jefferson’s hands for six months.

This game has a beautiful conceptual art, design and characters, an interesting setting of storytelling, a lot of potential, but fail miserably in delivering a meaningful story and plot, not giving us real power to decide! CHOICES DO NOT CARE IF THE END IS ALWAYS THE SAME! Life is still Strange, but besides … It’s fucked up, bad, because no matter how much you struggle to overcome your problems and be happy, you’ll end up dead or having to lose or sacrifice someone you love, especially if You’re a lesbian. Sounds good, right? This is the life that Lis and BtS show.

BTS, LIS and the comic are not good for to give hope to the lesbians. But, BTS is a more realistic game than the LIS, because in our reality, it is not possible to go back in time, which makes BTS easier to associate with reality.

If the characters were real people, Max would not talk to Chloe again, Chloe would die in a bathroom looking for Rachel, and since they did take Rachel’s image as a traitor, LIS gives a very bad realist message about relationships between women.

As if relationships between women were impossible and failed, and it would only be possible in fantasy, where it is possible to go back in time, this is the message that LIS passes.

BTS should be the best lesbian game in history if they had put all the content, it would be sad and tragic in one of the finals, but at least we would have confirmation that Rachel and Chloe’s relationship was real and true, and that their relationship would continue if they had not been murdered by psychopaths, so the comic shows this in a reality, but still does not explain the story of Rachel.

Anyway, Chloe in Lis, the character that represents to the stereotype of a lesbian, had the image of muggle and selfish, abandoned by the best friend of childhood, betrayed by the girlfriend, killed by a psychopath, could only be saved in a reality fantastical where people are able to go back in time, and still later in this fantasy reality wants to return to girlfriend who betrayed her. Is that their message Dontnod? What it generates it in the mind of the inattentive person when she associates Chloe, Rachel, being lesbian and the reality, this: Being a lesbian is bad and sad, if this game were with real people.

So I thank writers AmberPrice, Pricefield and others who did not make Rachel a motherfucker in their stories, why Rachel and Chloe deserved more. We lesbians deserve more.

Sorry, for the spelling mistakes, I’m Brazilian, I do not speak English.

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tinygrumpshaw · 5 years

Note

109 for amberprice hashtag make me cry challenge

109. “i’d probably conquer the world for you if youasked me to.”

(from this ask meme, a little late BUT finally here: 1k for this prompt, bc i got dragged back into this pit by A Certain Someone, written with the mindset of: what is even canon and do we need it? hope i still got them right @postcitywave)

Chloe is not having a good day. Her head is pounding,her bleeding nose makes her feel dizzy, and of course it’s raining on the oneday where her truck has not deemed it necessary to cooperate with her thismorning. Didn’t help that some assholes from Arcadia Bay’s prestigious little highsociety school decided to jump her on her way home. The Blackwell kid’s neverliked her, but things got . . . testy, when news broke that Rachel is mostdefinitely not just spending time out of pity with Chloe.

At least she’s got to punch Nathan back.

She smiles to herself and immediately regrets it.

Usually she’d not have to walk back home through therain, but because Nathan and some other short-brained minions of his decided towaste her time, she’s missed her bus ride back home. “Fucking assholes,” she grumbles,pushing the cloth she’s lifted from some first aid kit hanging in the schoolgym hallway right after getting her nose punched bloody.

Your usual Monday in Arcadia Bay, she thinks bitterly,licking her lip and tasting some more copper. Great, so her lower lip took abeating too. No way to cover up any of that. After a moment of hesitation shedecides to skip going to the Two Whalesdiner where her mom works and to walk straight home. There, she’ll ignore herhomework in favor of cleaning her face up and taking a long, well deserved nap.Maybe her mom’s jerk of a boy toy won’t be home yet. If she’s lucky.

And for the first time today the universe decides toalign with her wishes, and Mr Jerk isn’t home. She clambers up the stairs,vanishes in her bathroom and begins to inspect her face. It’ll swell and bruisebefore it gets better, but nothing seems to be broken. She just looks like a Halloweenmake-up well done, only that it’s spring. Geez, she can already feel thedisappointed and worried looks from her teachers and peers respectively. Goingto a less prestigious school means that no one really feels like it’s their duty to meddle as long as Chloe is not disruptivetowards the work flow. And how’s a swollen face going to do that, huh?

She smiles and curses right after. Then she cleans herface from any remaining dried blood, using cold water that makes her groan infirst pain, then appreciation and then she carefully uses a paper towel to dryher skin. Done.

With what seems the last energy reserves in her body,she carries herself with slow steps towards her room and falls into her bed facefirst, her backpack with homework kicked into a corner with no afterthought.She’ll do it later, she thinks, knowing damn well she won’t.

“You’re late.”

Chloe jumps up from her bed in what seems a flyingleap towards the ceiling. She sees black dots in her vision from moving so fastwhen she swirls around and looks at Rachel’s first amused and then worriedface. “Holy shit, Price, what happened to your face?”

“Someone didn’t like it,” she says, still a littlebreathless. “What are you doing in my room is the better question?”

Before Rachel says anything else she’s at Chloe’sside, making her sit down on her mattress and softly touching her bruised face.Chloe holds still, barely breathing. “I broke into your room. You should reallyclose your window.”

“I live on the second floor.”

“Yeah.”

“Meaning you had to climb to get to that window.”

“Are you stalling this conversation on purpose so Iwon’t ask you why your face looks like a dropped donut with red frosting?”

Chloe looks away. “Public school’s hell,” she says. “TheAmerican school system is failing its public schools.”

“I’m sure it is. Things were going fine for the pastmonths, though, right?”

“Do you mean to sound like my mom or. . .?”

“I think your mom’s going to do a lot more yellingonce she sees you, more than I ever would,” Rachel says and tilts her head alittle. Unbelievable that someone would use the words “aloof” to describeRachel when she seems so focused on Chloe’s wellbeing, more than Chloe’s everfocused on it herself. “Besides, I’m sure you’re going to tell me that I shouldsee the other guy, right?”

Chloe sighs. Deeply. “You’ve seen him already, huh?”

“Crying on his phone to daddy dearest, too.”

“Wimp.”

“Hm. And why was Nathan looking like a dropped donutwith red frosting that got stepped on and crying like a little baby?”

Chloe leans away from Rachel—to think more clearly,and also to lie down because she still feels a little dizzy. Maybe she shouldpop some Advil before taking that nap. And then Rachel is lying down next toher staring at her colorful ceiling. So far, it’s a mess of scribbles and onehalf-attached poster, hanging low from the ceiling and looking like it’s inimmediate danger of falling down any second now.

“He paid me a visit to say some shit, you know, aboutme, and a little about you, and then things . . . got a little out of hand. A face-to-fistconversation, if you will.”

“I love your jokes, but please focus.”

“Fine. I guess Victoria was sick and tired of notbeing the main focus of the school year, or maybe Nathan and his merry band ofidiots are trying to score some points with her—whatever, he got what he deservedand that’s the end of it.”

“So, he was there because this was about me,” Rachel saysin a weird tone.

Chloe looks at her. “If you blame yourself for whatNathan fucking Prescott did, then I swear to—”

“But you just said it yourself. If Victoria is behind itand if Nathan did it for her, then it’s really because of me and you just gotcaught up in the middle of it.” Rachel’s face looks absurdly beautiful when she’sangry. Or sad. Which she seems to be both, right now.

“Hey, Rach, it’s not a big deal.”

“Have you seen your face?”

“I’d probably conquer the world for you if you askedme to. What’s taking a few punches compared to that, hm?” Chloe tries to makelight of the situation by using humor to deflect, but she realizes that shemeans every word she just said.

There is a moment of heavy silence between them, not longerthan a heartbeat and yet it feels like an eternity.

Rachel blinks at her with glistening eyes, shakes her headand curls up next to her, throwing her arm over Chloe’s middle. “You’re toofucking much, Chloe Price.”

#bewildering that i took almost a year to complete this prompt? oh yeah #welcome to my life as writer where everything can take from one hour to one fucking year #anyway enough rambling #can i get away by calling this a character study?#asking for a friend [me]#amberprice #my writing #postcitywave #replies

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akatastrophe · 6 years

Note

BANG BANG. HAPPY LAST DAYS OF 2018, KAT! 1, 2, 5, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 20

1. favorite memory from 2018

I can’t just pick one!! I’d probably have to choose Outfest, that was such a fun day. Outfest is essentially a LGBTQIA+ coming out festival in October and it’s such a blast. I went with a new group of friends that I really enjoy and it was amazing ;-;

2. biggest achievement in 2018

Surviving. I’m kidding... sort of. This year was a such a rollercoaster filled with such highs and such... lows. The beginning of this year was not the best, but I think I finished it off a lot better. I wouldn’t say that I had any major achievements this year, but I definitely grew a lot more than I have in previous years.

5. did you go on holiday in 2018? tell us about it!

I don’t think I did? Unless you count my grandma’s beach house. WAIT I DID. I went to Aruba, that was fun. My sister brought her (now) ex-bf and I was essentially third wheeling most of the time. I was fine with it for the most part because they’re not that big on PDA and plus he actually talked to me unlike her past bfs.

8. favourite film you saw in 2018

I didn’t see a lot of films in theaters. I was mostly catching up on movies I’ve missed. I’m torn between Black Panther and The Greatest Showman. I’ll probably have to go with Black Panther because the message behind it was so strong and it was overall an incredible movie.

11. did you make any new friends this year? tell us about them!

iorbibroeabroaie, yo this is gonna be such a long answer

Alright, we’re gonna go chronologically. I was in this discord server called the Amberprice Legion. Some of you have heard it and know the story, but those of you who don’t, it’s dead for a reason now. I won’t go into the nitty gritty, but I came out of that shit storm with a core group of friends who I’m still friends with to this day. At that time I didn’t really have a lot of irl friends except for two.

We met in our foundation drawing class with a professor that we worship now. The one is a total sweetheart, she’s even more shy than I am but she’s so fun to hang out with. The other is also super duper sweet, she’s so excited about everything and cares so much about her friends. Her optimism is something that I envy, but alas I was never the most optimistic ever.

Over the summer, I was essentially put into the co manager position. My supervisor was like “yea, you’re the manager when the manager isn’t here”. So I had to become friends with my supervisor and co workers. Oml my co workers are goofballs, but they’re good kids.

The new school year!! My one drawing class friend has another friend who lives in my building and we’ve hung out whenever we’re free. We go out pokemon go hunting and out for food and everything. With that came a whole other friend group after I proposed that we start a dnd campaign. Everyone in that campaign is a joy to play with and I’d say that we’re a close knit group of friends. I mean, everyone else was already friends bUT STILL.

I also just recently joined a new discord group! Everyone is so lovely there! I don’t mean to crush on the Legion, but everything is so much more organized there. From what I’ve seen people actually listen to the mods and admins whenever they’re told to do something or stop. If I could go through everyone I would but I don’t want to miss anyone ;-; Everyone there is so creative, sweet, and amazing. I love everyone there so far and I’m so glad I joined the server

12. most important lesson you learned in 2018

Life doesn’t care what I’m going through. Things are going to happen that I’m not going to enjoy and it’s up to me whether or not I’m going to sit and grovel or get up and keep going. Also, don’t overwork. 4-5 hours of sleep isn’t enough to produce good enough work to get where I need to be.

13. what was your most embarrassing moment this year?

Uhhh, not making the graphic design program. I wish it could have been as small as tripping on my face in front of my crush or accidentally knocking someone’s drink out of their hand but alas.

15. did you surprise yourself in 2018? if so, how?

I didn’t realize how unsuccessful I was going to be this year that’s for sure.

20. what’s your new years resolution?

Be gay, do crime. Kidding, I don’t believe in New Years resolutions because I know I won’t follow them and most of the people I know have them but don’t follow through with them.

#asks

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meditatemoremedicateless · 6 years

Text

Rachel Has Two Hands (Hell is Empty pt. 2)

Fandom: Life is Strange Pairings: Amberrich, Pricerich, Amberprice, Amberpricerich Tags: polyamory, pining, fluff Words: 5,400

Summary: Steph struggles with her feelings about Rachel and Chloe's performance in The Tempest. Her starts spending more time with Chloe and Rachel, leading to an unexpected kiss and an even more unexpected conversation.

Read the full story on Tumblr, Ao3, or ff.net.

By the time the cast party had officially started, Steph was sure she had it figured out. She was also sure she could explain why she was totally okay with what happened and how genuinely beautiful the performance had been. She'd just talk to Rachel sometime during the party and say that she and Chloe would make a beautiful couple and even though Steph liked her, she wasn't going to toss away a friendship out of jealousy. Queer girls have to stick together. They can't afford to burn bridges just because someone fell for someone else, else they would all become islands, as alone as Arcadia Bay on the coast of Oregon.

The cast party was at Hayden's house because it was the biggest and his family was already used to the Vortex Club using it from when his older brother had been a member. Everyone was split up into their little cliques, like Nathan, Victoria, and their friend Taylor on the stairs after returning from smoking weed in the bathroom, or Steph, Dana, Juliet, and Hayden hanging out on the couch and piano bench. Hayden's mom apparently had the biggest goddamn grand piano Steph had ever seen outside of an orchestral hall, which immediately explained a lot of things about him. Rachel was supposed to get dropped off by her parents, so she was running a little late, and the crew kids like Brooke and Luke mostly kept to themselves, so it felt kind of weak for a cast party.

Dana got a text and checked her phone. A second later, she asked out, "Hey, Hayden - Rachel's walking here with Chloe, is that cool?"

What?!

"Uhhh yeah, totally. Do they need a pick-up?"

"I dunno, let me check."

Rachel sent texts faster than Steph could talk, so only a few seconds later Dana called, "Nope, they're almost here."

Oh shit.

Steph had been mentally preparing this whole time to talk to Rachel because Rachel would already be hanging out with her. But the prospect of pulling her away from Chloe to have the conversation about how totally cool she was with them getting together was on a whole new level. Steph considered herself a pretty tough cookie - stoic, even, when she had to be - but she could only make so strong a face in so little time. She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to hear why Rachel chose Chloe over her.

"Wow, the fire's getting pretty crazy," said Taylor from the hall. "The air quality outside is getting really bad, and containment's dropped to 10 percent. Apparently we're advised to stay in-doors until air quality improves? Crazy."

No. No no no this cannot be happening. Steph wanted to leap to her feet and flee, just walk home in the dead of night, but she knew no one here would let her - walking outside while ash rained from the sky was a stupid idea and she knew it. She was going to be stuck here until morning with Rachel like she had planned to be. Unless. Unless.

Steph stood up and said, "Hey, uh, Hayden, I kind of . . . feel sick. And with the fire, I don't think I should walk home . . . do you think you could give me a ride?"

He sat there and blinked for a few seconds, looking Steph up and down, probably picking up that she looked perfectly fine.

Still, Hayden was a cool dude. Finally, he shrugged and said, "Yeah, I guess."

Rachel: i didnt see you last night.

Rachel: hayden said you were sick Rachel: how are you feeling?

Rachel: steph?

Rachel: i'll see you at the showing tonight, OK? i want to talk to you.

Rachel: you ran off again Rachel: are you mad at me?

Steph: I'm not mad

It was midnight, Saturday night giving way to Sunday, and they had two shows to run the next day. Steph didn't have time to stay up tonight, but once she was back in her bed again, in the dark, alone, she had started crying. She absolutely hated how upset she was. She had absolutely no fucking right to be ignoring Rachel. This was exactly the sort of behavior that could devastate her hopes for a small circle of queer friends - being jealous and petty and slinking away into the night to be alone.

She had just been caught off guard. She had gotten her hopes up, sitting alone and flirting with Rachel in the dressing room. She had taken Rachel's fun and flirtation as an indicator of her feelings, when she knew that was just how she acted. She liked that about Rachel. She liked the way she could charm and dazzle her way through anything, how she always picked herself back up when she started feeling insecure, how she could make anyone feel special.

Rachel: are you avoiding me?

Steph: Yeah. I haven't known what to say to you, and I still don't.

Rachel: did i do something wrong?

Steph: no, it's nothing like that.

Rachel: do you want to be left alone?

Steph didn't answer that, which proved to be enough of an answer by itself.

The Culmination Fire died suddenly in the night, and by the time Steph left for the school the next day, the air quality was almost back to normal. At the very least, Steph didn't have to come on stage and announce that audience members with asthma or other breathing difficulties would be given tickets for next week or full refunds if they wanted to leave. Steph kept herself busy constantly, and for most of the day she felt normal, no time to think of Rachel when Prospera was the one needing attention. They were never alone long enough to have a conversation that wasn't immediately about the play, and Steph biked off by herself during lunch time.

And that is how, on this ashy-gray Sunday afternoon, Steph ended up getting her lunch at the Two Whales diner only seconds before Chloe Price walked through the door.

Steph anticipated dread when she ran into Chloe again, but to her surprise, it didn't feel any different than the other few times they'd seen each other on campus.

"Hey Steph, what's up?" Chloe asked, sliding into the other side of the booth as if they'd planned to meet up. "Heard your cast's been crushing it."

Steph smirked. "Oh, they have. Maybe not quite as hard as Friday, but our troupe isn't slouching. The Tempest's script, on the other hand . . ."

"Pff, yeah, that thing is, uh, and don't tell the Bard I said this but, it's kind of a mess."

Chloe had dyed her hair since they talked on Friday - just a streak of blue among the blonde, like Rachel's feather earring. It looked goofy, but cute. She'd come in wearing a beanie but dropped it on the table, making them look a little less like the lead members of an alternative girl band together, if not by much.

Steph quirked her eyebrows, bemused. "This - coming from the girl who learned like a dozen lines in a few minutes and improv'd her way into the Beacon and Totem? You sure seemed to jive with the mess."

Chloe leaned back in the booth, pleased at the praise. "I guess it's just in my nature to surprise people. For instance, Principal Wells? Not the happiest dude when it turned out I was reppin' Blackwell on the front page the same day he kicked me out. The message he left my Mom was . . ." she pressed her fingers close to her lips as if she were holding a joint and inhaled, then let out a dreamy sigh. "Epic. Totally worth the expulsion."

Steph snickered, taking a bite of her food. Chloe's eyes very obviously followed her hands down to her plate, begging for fries without asking for them.

Steph took the hint and said, "Here, how about as a thank-you for saving my ass, I buy you lunch?

"Deal," Chloe replied without hesitation. Grinning, she leaned back forward in her seat and stuck her hand out of the booth. "Yo, Mom!" she called.

One of the waitresses, a middle-aged blonde woman with the red-purple bags under the eyes of an insomniac, approached the table with an already-irritated, "Yes, Chloe?"

Chloe gestured across the table. "This lovely lady would like to treat me to lunch, for which I'll have chicken tenders, please."

The waitress - Joyce, her name tag said - put her hands on her hips and turned to Steph. "Now, is my daughter extorting you or is these chicken tenders given of your own free will?"

Steph held her hands up, as if surrendering. "Hey, Chloe deserves a lunch for saving The Tempest. I don't suppose you got a chance to see her in action?"

"I didn't even know she could act," Joyce replied with a scathing look, Chloe smiling back innocently. "But I'm glad she helped out. Maybe that'll make Mr. Wells think twice about his decision to expel her."

She sighed wearily, then said, "But chicken tenders, got it. It's nice to meet you . . .?"

"Steph. Stephanie Gingrich. It's nice to meet you too."

"Hello Stephanie, I'm Joyce. And I'll be right back."

As Joyce walked away, Chloe's attention rounded back to Steph. There were a few seconds of pause while Steph glanced around the diner, but Chloe brought her back with a sudden, "So, how did things go with Rachel?" Steph's blood ran cold. "Did you shoot your shot or what?"

"A-are you serious?" Steph asked, dumbfounded.

Is she insensitive as hell or just stupid? What?

Chloe blinked, surprised. "Uuhh?" she asked, sitting forward in her seat again. "I mean, yeah . . . you made it seem like you were really itching to do it, so I figured you would this weekend . . . while you've been around her so much."

Steph had a growing suspicion she had made a terrible mistake. "Aren't you . . . dating her?"

Now Chloe looked even more confused. "What? No . . . didn't we already have this conversation on Friday?"

"But . . ." Steph tried to pull all the disparate details, all the things that absolutely confirmed to her that they had been dating. "But, the play. That improv wasn't just in-character, that was you two talking. It was, like - fuck dude, it was seriously romantic. And then you two walked to the cast party together, like . . . like . . ."

Steph faltered as Chloe's face changed from 'I'm confused' to 'Are you an idiot?' Steph had watched Chloe give that face to almost everyone, but she hadn't ever had it directed at her. It was just a look, but it stung.

Chloe glanced down at the table for a second, clearing her expression, then back up at Steph. "Dude, what? That wasn't Rachel asking me out, that was her offering to run away with me."

What.

"Why . . . what?"

Chloe said, "Look, I don't really want to get into details or anything, but things have been . . . shit for me at home recently. For Rachel, too. I ran away from home for a few days and her family kind of took me in. That's why I was wearing, like, that jacket that was three sizes too small, and why I needed to go to the dorms. We walked to the party together to talk about running away but we didn't, like, do it. Running was only going to make our problems worse."

"I . . ."

Fuck!!

Steph pushed her plate into the center of the table so she could just drop her face straight onto the table. "I'm so fucking stupid!" she groaned. She hit her head once more in agitation. When she looked up, it all came out in a rush: "I thought you were wearing her jacket because you like, stayed the night. Like, stayed the night not had a fucking sleepover. And the whole improvised bit looked and sounded so much like a proposal it was like you two were about ready to just, start a life together or something. I - fuck!" Steph clutched the sides of her head. "I'm dumb! And I've been avoiding Rachel all weekend because of it!"

Chloe looked overwhelmed and doe-eyed, but all that came out of her mouth was a scoff: "Dude, what?"

Steph didn't have an immediate answer, and before she could think of anything to say, Joyce swooped in and dropped a basket of chicken tenders in front of Chloe. It distracted Chloe long enough for her to say, "Oh, hey, can I get barbecue and ranch, please?"

Her mother rolled her eyes and said, "I'll be right back," before continuing her loop around the diner.

Chloe took a minute to shove some fries in her mouth before remembering that they were having a conversation. She wiped her fingers on a napkin and said, "Alright, Steph, so. After Friday I was under the impression you were like, really good at communication and stuff, but it looks like you totally over-thought this into a problem that didn't need to be a problem. Even if our scene was like, kind of romantic or whatever, and even if she does like me back at all, it still seems like you should talk to her about it instead of . . . whatever you've been doing."

Chloe gave an abashed smile that quickly disappeared. "Weird advice, coming from me, I know, but seriously."

Steph's head was still cradled in her hands, but at least she was looking across the table instead of actively self-destructing. "So you do like her?" she asked.

"I'm only human," Chloe replied with a shrug and another fleeting smile. "But right now, I think she needs a friend more than . . . something else. From me, at least."

Steph shook her head. "I may be an idiot, but if you think she just wants to be your friend, so are you."

"I know," Chloe replied, like an admission of guilt.

Chloe turned to her food, and Steph took a minute to herself, to self-flagellate over how badly she'd fucked up and how it would be no wonder if Rachel's interest in her vanished like Steph had vanished on her. Whether or not Rachel would ever return her feelings, though, wasn't the point anymore. She had a friendship to salvage.

Steph: hey Rachel. I ran into Chloe during my lunch and I realized I totally blew it. After the play Friday night I thought you two were together and I thought you were just going to explain why you'd decided to go out with Chloe. I made everything in my head a way bigger deal than it was and I've been acting like a dick. I got so caught up in my version of what was going on I didn't even try to talk to you and that was so, so stupid, and I'm really sorry. I don't know how you feel about me or Chloe, but I know I really want to be your friend and be supportive.

Rachel texted back less than a minute later.

Rachel: steph, you are deep down kind of an idiot. but i get it. Rachel: im with my mom right now and its not a great time to talk but can we please talk later?

Steph: yeah, of course. I'll see you at the next show.

Steph sighed as she put her phone away.

"Wha'she say?" Chloe asked through a mouthful of food.

"Just that she wants to talk," Steph replied, leaning back in her seat, now resigned.

Chloe swallowed her food so she could talk properly and said, "Well, that doesn't sound like you've totally screwed the pooch. Maybe there's hope for you yet."

Steph shrugged, then said, "Well . . . thanks Chloe. For the heads-up. This could have gone worse, amazingly."

"No problem," she said, waving away the thanks. "I make a great supporting character."

Steph and Chloe both snorted.

After a short pause, Chloe said, "Hey, wait, don't you have to be back at the school like . . . now? The next show starts at 4:00, right?"

"WHAT?!"

Steph pulled out her phone and checked the time. Sure enough, it was 3:20, and she was supposed to have been back at the school five minutes ago at the latest.

"OhmyfuckinggodyouhavetobekiddingmehowamIthisbigofanidiotI'lldie-"

"Steph, yo, chill," Chloe interrupted. "Just get the check and I'll give you a ride."

Steph stared at Chloe with anxious befuddlement. "Since when . . . do you have a car?" Steph had literally seen Chloe get dropped off at school on Friday.

Chloe shrugged. "I kind of fixed up an old junker yesterday; it's mine now. You've had your tetanus shot, right?"

Steph didn't like the sound of that question.

The conversation with Rachel was much more 'Rachel talking about what was going on with her' than Steph had anticipated, and very little on why she was turning Steph down. As soon as they got into things, though, Steph just felt embarrassed and ashamed for putting another thing on her when she already had so much going on. She had just found out her mom wasn't her biological mother a few days ago, and that her father withheld her mother's e-mails and letters because she abandoned her as a toddler. She had been a heroin addict during the 1990s opioid epidemic, and although she had assured and re-assured Rachel's dad for years that she was clean now, she had respected his wishes to keep her away from Rachel. That was, at least, until this past week.

When Steph had asked her about the whole 'running away with Chloe thing', she talked about how she and Chloe met for the first time on Tuesday, about Chloe's mom's boyfriend moving in against her wishes, and how Rachel had asked her parents to take Chloe in for a while. How they only treated her nicely until she revealed she knew about Rachel's bio mom, and how Rachel's dad flipped on her and treated her like a street rat. Rachel nervously confessed how she had found Chloe, and Chloe had found her just in time for their lives to fall apart, and for them to be there for each other when they did.

Steph had been so caught up in her own life, and all the stuff going on with Mikey and Drew and their dad, it hadn't occurred to her how much could be going on outside of what she could see. She always felt like she could see things more clearly than other people, could see how pieces fit together - it was why she made a good stage manager, why she was a good artist. But there were some things she couldn't just piece together from context.

Rachel said she wasn't ready for a relationship right now, and Steph admitted she wasn't ready to date Rachel, that she didn't know her well enough to make a good girlfriend. They agreed they wanted to get to know each other better, and hugged each other tight, and that was it for a while.

Once The Tempest was over, Steph thought she'd have more free time to spend with Rachel, but as classes began to ramp up into finals and Rachel spent more lunches and weekends off with Chloe, they saw each other less for a while. At first that made her sad, but Rachel kept coming back happier, shining brighter than she did before.

Chloe and Steph started to hang out more, too. Chloe's de facto step father, David, proved to be an anthropomorphized kick in the pants, nevermind one of the most pro-authority bootlickers Steph ever had the displeasure of meeting, so Chloe showed up more and more at Blackwell to pick Steph up from the dorms and go for a drive.

Somewhere down the line from watching Bladerunner together and shitting on dudes from 4chan, the two of them realized their mutual love for cyberpunk and deep disdain for most men who professed to like cyberpunk. Mikey and Drew were not those men, though, so sometime in the middle of May the four of them started up a game of Shadowrun after bidding farewell to Calimastia and Elamon. After Chloe's ork street samurai, Mikey's elf mage, and Drew's human decker pulled off their first run, Chloe and Steph managed to peer pressure Rachel into joining as well. She showed up with a dryad shaman and, to no one's surprise, she and Chloe quickly dominated the roleplaying part of the game, although with very different angles (re: their characters were like, super mean to each other).

And this is how, the game night after school let out for the summer, Steph, Chloe, and Rachel ended up bringing backpacks full of homework to the fire ring next to Arcadia Bay's light house. There they drank beer Rachel managed to flirt into her possession and lit the past year on fire, cursing it and all of the shit it had brought them. They all drank too much and Chloe needed an hour or two to be sober enough to drive, so they ended up sitting on the beach, watching the waves roll in and out and the moonlight glimmer over the restless ocean. Chloe, as she often did after drinking, opened up a little, talked about her old friend Max, who had loved pirates and photographs, the girl she'd thought would become her high school sweet heart and marry, but they'd never even kissed and then she fucking left. And she turned petty to keep from turning sad and said how annoying it was that she'd never kissed a girl, didn't even know what it was like.

"It's easy," Steph told her, and held the side of her face as she kissed her.

Chloe was too stunned to even kiss back at first, but she got on her knees and turned so they could face each other properly, and the kiss was rough and they were a little drunk but it was warm and good. It was cute - Rachel even gave a little 'aww' - until Chloe's hand dropped high up on Steph's thigh and she squeezed and Steph moaned into their kiss.

Eventually, Rachel said, "Um, guys?" and they realized what they were doing, and Chloe laughed but Steph was crimson, invisible though it might be in the night.

Steph got dropped off at home first and tried her best to be quiet, but Meiser wouldn't stop barking after she got through the door and she had to shush him and feed him until he went back to bed. She fell asleep still half-clothed and exhausted, but woke up for the first time at 5:30am to a new text message from Rachel.

Rachel: hey, steph? chloe and i kind of just had sex and im having a lot of confusing feelings. Rachel: but i want to talk to both of you tomorrow, or this weekend at least Rachel: i like you and i just want a chance to talk to you both before this one thing makes a decision for me

Steph was jealous, of course. Insanely jealous. Rabidly jealous. But she was more sleepy than even that, so she fell back asleep without sending a reply.

She didn't wake up again until almost 1:00pm, and by then she had several more messages.

Rachel: just lmk when youre up and OK to talk? Rachel: i hope youre not mad at me

And from Chloe.

Chloe: Hey dude i'm really sorry if i kinda... escalated that kissing situation last night esp. when we were drunk.

Steph decided it was best to hold off replying until she'd had breakfast and coffee. Thus, it was almost 2:00pm when she texted them both.

Steph: heya Chloe. it's honestly okay. i liked it, but we don't need to make a thing of it, it was just nice.

Steph: hey Rachel. idk what type of conversation you're looking to have, but last night was weird and i'm not mad. i'm jealous, for sure, but, like, who you have sex with is none of my business.

Whatever else happened, she wasn't going to let this blow up her friendships. She'd been steeling herself against the possibility of Rachel and Chloe getting together this whole time, and she wasn't going to freak out again if that's how today ended. These friendships were new, but they mattered to her, and she'd fight for them.

Chloe showed up at Steph's house first, to her surprise, so they hung out downstairs and absolutely did not talk about what was son their minds. Instead, they played Super Smash Brothers and waited, even holding back on the smack talk because they were both fragile at the moment and they knew it. Even when Rachel finally arrived, they just switched to Mario Kart Wii and continued to avoid the conversation for a good hour.

Eventually, though, Rachel would not let this stand any further.

After they finished their third 150cc cup, Rachel set her controller down and said, "Guys? We need to talk."

Steph winced. Even if that was the reason why they were here, those were precisely the words she didn't want to hear. Nonetheless, she shut off the Wii and TV. Rachel patted the ground in front of her, and Chloe slipped from Steph's couch to the ground beside her. Steph followed suit, crossing her legs then dropping into her self-made seat.

How do you even start a conversation like this?

Rachel took a deep breath. "First, I just want to acknowledge that we were drinking last night, and things got a little messy and I may have things kind of askew in my head. But the thing is, on my end at least . . . I liked how last night went."

Chloe glanced between them. Her jaw was set and tense, like she was grinding her teeth, her brow furrowed. She asked, "What are you . . . referring to?"

Rachel brushed her hair behind her ear. "Well, um. I told Steph that we . . . were together last night. And I liked that. But I liked all of it. Like, when you two kissed," she tapped her finger-tips together, as if to mimic their kiss, "- that was pretty nice. And just. The whole thing."

"I thought that made you really uncomfortable?" Steph asked, puzzled.

Rachel shook her head. "No, not, uh, exactly. I thought it was cool, I just . . . maybe liked it too much and I thought that might go weird places."

It took a few seconds to Rachel's meaning to sink it, but it clicked into place with an, "Oh," from Steph.

Rachel started speaking faster now, "Yeah, and I liked it but I also felt pretty jealous because I'd never kissed either of you and that did go kind of weird places," she gave Chloe a pointed glance, but Chloe clearly didn't know how to emote in response.

Visibly uncomfortable, Chloe asked, "Rachel . . . what are you trying to say?"

Rachel put her head in her hands and rocked back and forth for a few seconds, collecting her thoughts. Then she said, "Look, I know that I like both of you. I've known that the whole time, I just . . . I thought I had to decide who I really like or I was going to fuck everything up. But I think going about things that way is where I'm fucking up. I think I just have to tell you both that I like you and I want to know if that is a thing that could be okay with you."

Steph blinked, another piece of the puzzle clicking into place. "Wait, are you saying you want to date Chloe and me?"

Rachel nodded vigorously, visibly relieved that Steph had put it into words. "I do. I know we've only been hanging out together for a few weeks but I really like this. I'd just like to . . . add some stuff. Like. Kissing and having sex . . . please."

Steph was dumbstruck. She wasn't repulsed or anything, she just had absolutely not expected the conversation to go this place and had not been prepared in the slightest. She hadn't even pictured this as a possibility. She wasn't even sure it was a possibility. How do you date two people concurrently?

Chloe raised her hand as she were in a classroom, and Rachel nodded at her. Chloe said, "Yeah, well, if Steph's into it, I am. I like you - you know that. I'm willing to talk about it, at least."

How is it that easy for her? What?

Rachel's attention turned back to Steph, and she made her nervous hair-brush tic again. "Steph?"

"I . . . I have no idea," Steph said, making a huge shrug. "I don't know what this would look like. Dates, hangouts, holidays - what would any of it look like? And what would Chloe and I be to each other then?"

"I dunno, friends?" Rachel said, shrugging in response. "Or . . . you could also . . ." she made another gesture like she had for their kiss, but more tentatively. She was blushing bright red, somehow more embarrassed about whatever she was trying to say now than all the bold stuff she'd already said.

"Also?" Steph asked. "Kiss? Or . . . date?" She grew increasingly perplexed with each question.

Rachel nodded again, tiny, nervous nods. Steph didn't think she'd ever seen her this meek about something, and knew she was stumbling into something Rachel wanted, but didn't know how to say.

Steph started to get caught in the same bog of embarrassment as Rachel. "I don't . . . think Chloe would be into dat-" but something about the way Chloe was looking at her gave her pause, and silence reigned for a moment.

"D-do you?" Steph finally stuttered out.

Chloe scratched the back of her head and replied, quiet, her voice mostly vocal fry: "I'd be down . . . if you are." When Steph just blinked at her, Chloe continued, more confidently, "You're like, really dorky and cute and hot, dude. Why do you think I was so into our kiss last night?"

"Because . . . because . . . we were drunk and . . ." Steph blinked dumbly for a few seconds, then just dropped onto her back. "BECAUSE I'M DUMB, OKAY?"

Today was too much. This whole conversation was entirely too much.

Eventually, from the floor Steph said, "Look, okay, yes. I like you both differently but I know if you asked separately I'd totally say yes. But is there like, a manual, or . . . something? I don't know what to do with the idea of two girlfriends."

"Actually," Rachel said with a self-conscious chuckle, "I kind of . . . was looking it up on my phone in the middle of the night, and there's like, a whole relationship-help genre for polyamorous people, and I was thinking if you two said 'yes' we could maybe buy some and read them together?"

Steph let out the longest sigh and then, "You're serious, aren't you?"

Rachel said, "I am."

"Chloe?"

"Hm?"

"I don't have a lot of date ideas yet, but if you're going to be sleeping over as often as you have been, we should . . . do that."

"Works for me."

Rachel scooted into Steph's field of view, raising up a finger for attention. She asked, "Steph?

"Yeah?"

"You and I are the only ones who haven't kissed yet. Would you mind if we did?"

Everything was already so crazy. And if there was any part of this that would make all the crazy feel worthwhile . . . maybe that was it. "Sure," she said. "Like, yes."

And Rachel leaned over and kissed her gently, sweetly, her curtain of hair falling over the both of them, blotting out everything but that long, lovely kiss.

When it ended, Rachel whispered, "Girlfriends?"

"Girlfriends," Steph whispered back, her voice filled with wonder.

#life is strange #fan fiction #before the storm #hell is empty #polyamory #fluff #pining #get together fic #ask out fic #steph gingrich #rachel amber #chloe price #amberrich #pricerich #amberprice #amberpricerich #ben writes stuff #long fic #request

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lifeisstrangefanpage · 7 years

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My Review of Life Is Strange: Before the Storm

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

Now I'm no professional game reviewer, I'm actually not even much of a gamer, but I wanted to put my two cents in the Tumblr-verse about Before the Storm. Well, it was fucking fabulously amazingly game that did not let me down. I know a lot of people were skeptical of the game considering another company was taking over with new voice actors, but for real, in all seriousness, this game, which is a prequel, was better than the original Life is Strange itself. There I said it! I didn't know if another game could EVER surpass my love for LiS, let alone the fucking prequel to it. Overall, the voice acting, animation, detail, editing, music, gameplay, etc., etc. was just breathtaking. Not to mention each and every episode was absolutely phenomenal.

Here are my specific reasons why I liked(loved) BtS more than LiS:

1) I love Chloe. I always have. Nothing against Max, but Chloe's always been the main character I prefer and I think it's probably because I relate more to her. Also, she has awesome character development not really seen in Max (of course Max was only in the original game so I got to see Chloe develop more but still).

2) I actually liked the voice acting more???? Everyone was really scared of the new actors but the dialogue (yes very cringy) and voice acting felt so much more real in BtS. Maybe it's just me but IDKKkkk

3) The side games/adventures were SO MUCH better in BtS. In LiS, I really didn't like the stupid and silly side games you had to play to progress on. They felt super dragged out, long, and unnecessary. It always felt like you'd get thrown in a loop, too. In BtS, I actually enjoyed these side games. They felt fun, exciting, and they actually meant something to the plot. The wine heist, fixing up the car, investigating Marrick and Sera, etc. these all felt much funner to me.

4) the ending. The ending to LiS has gotten a lot of hate, but of course we know the developers had much less time to create it than they did for episode 3 of BtS. But BtS's ending, not matter how much I wanted to see more amberprice kisses and dialogue between them, the final conflict/fight was so satisfyingly outstanding. The scene actually gave me anxiety and made me cry. Like bro, you can't do that to me.

5) NOT having this "supernatural" / "mystical" / "magical" theme (with the time travel and end of the world shit) like this did in LiS, made the plot feel MUCH more realistic and exciting. With this "end" of Arcadia Bay looming over in LiS, it made everything you did feel pointless and that there was no resolution that's work out. It also made BtS just feel so personal and realistic in a way that it was more interesting.

6) I just LOVE Daughter. They were one of my favorite bands before they even did the score for the game. Their music has always been so personal to me that when it was intertwined with BtS, a personal game to me, it made the two just a perfect combination full of emotion.

7) Finally, the gay™. Their was so much more gay in this, i can't help but like it more. I feel like Rachel's and Chloe's relationship within three episodes developed way more than Chloe's and Max's did in LiS in five episodes.

8) AlsOoo, I almost forgot to mention, the worlds/places felt more real and interactive in BtS

Okay well that's all I can think of now! Knowing me I'll think of a million more reasons once I post this but oh well. I just wanna say the reason BtS is probably better is because the creators of LiS realized what they did wrong and were able to correct that in BtS. I'm not trying to drag LiS in anyways, I just wanted to applaud the creators for listening to how we felt about the first game and realized what they needed to change for the prequel. It shows that they really do care about us and just want to create a game we'll all like.

But thank you for anyone who read this. I hope you all enjoyed the game as much as I did!

#lis #life is strange before the storm #life is strange bts #lifeisstrange #lis before the storm #lisbts #bts #before the storm #chloeprice #chloe price #max caulfield #rachel amber #my critique #lgbtq #mine #my post

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destiny-smasher · 7 years

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Had a chat with someone I’ll keep anonymous (though I did ask permission to post this) regarding concerns with BtS, thought they had some good thoughts and worries I wanted to share. A lot of folks have found that spaces like Reddit, Facebook, or even here on Tumblr have become unsafe places to openly discuss criticisms and worries over what’s a very complicated situation. (I’ve edited out a few bits to make this more rational for public viewing)

Me: [regarding 20 minutes of footage that got posted recently from Episode 3] I'll avoid the preview and just wait to experience it myself next week, but it's good to know it's out there so I can try to avoid seeing stuff. XXX: I'm right there with you, my biggest fear actually is that what was said (I think it was in that leaked interview) about hints that will be dropped for Rachel's future character development will be entirely twisted. As in, they'll make up excuses for why Rachel would decide to hide her relationships from Chloe and straight up lie to her. I'm scared Rachel will be victimized to justify her later action. I don't see her as a monster or a demon, but she deliberately made wrong decisions and it's part of her characters arc that her wrong decisions lead to her death. I don't want that part of Rachel to be taken away with excuses. And I'm worried about some things I heard might be in the episode like even more intense moments between them. Not only because they're underage but because it doesn't do their relationship justice and why Chloe called Rachel an angel. We only have these 3 days to received an explanation for why their bond was so special and so far it's nothing more than a teenage crush and physical attraction and one broken girl latching to another who is in search of a companion. Amberprice deserved a lot more depth than what was shown so far. I can't explain why, but with Max and Chloe everything was different. We knew they were bonded since childhood, Max went through torture to save Chloe and Chloe became thes best she could have ever been, just for Max. With Rachel Chloe is literally encouraged to ditch her entire life without a stable future.

Me: That’s a huge element of what frustrates me w/this prequel: we’re getting underage, unhealthy queer romance portrayed so openly, which could be great if the characters were original, we didn’t already know what happened, OR there was more time passing and more focus on that relationship and it’s gray areas. XXX: Now I'm not part of the LGBT community, but basically most of my friends I made through LiS are and we all agree, this prequel is mostly SE trying to be appealing to the young generation of queer teenagers who came into the LiS fandom after the first game. SE knew about the acceptance for LGBT representation in LiS so they literally upped the gay to get even more into that niche. That's why BtS is pure fanservice for me for the most part and I'm convinced Dontnod isn't impressed with how this thing is being handled. Don't get me wrong, I love the representation queer people get with this franchise but especially young people jump on it and like you said get an entirely wrong picture of what teenage love is and how complex it can be. I think Deck Nine did do a great job trying to show areas of Rachel's character that are questionable to say the least (think of her drugging Victoria), but the young folk only have eyes for how gay and important the gay in this game is. Love is love, that's what I strongly believe in. And love can fucking hurt you, especially when you're Chloe broken Price. A bit more of that would have been nice, Chloe is so fragile yet she completely goes with everything Rachel commands. It's hard to say where exactly the problem is, SEs marketing is beyond good and evil, Deck Nine was walking a fine line trying to please the community but also make their own thing, they took the more aggressive approach compared to Dontnod. And the community itself is doing its job at ruining things, just think of how stupid this entire Amberprice Legion story is and how people now demonize Max and praise Rachel as a goddess. XXX [continued]: And one more thing that I personally really have a problem with. We were never told anything about Rachel's sexuality, but D9 basically made her canonically bisexual (and to most of the younger audience even lesbian which leads to a denial of her later actions by many). I don't know much about same sex love but from the original game I never got the impression Rachel reciprocated Chloe's feelings and Chloe was madly in love but it was one-sided all the time. Now with the end of BtS I don't think we'll be presented a definite answer to that question and I'm not a fan of it. Because it still leaves that space for speculation that Rachel only ever used Frank for drugs and Jefferson to leave Arcadia. The devs wouldn't have confirmed her letter was about Mark if she didn't have feelings for him.Sorry for writing so much, it just feels like a relief.

Thanks to this person for sharing your thoughts. And if there’s anyone reading this who is an AmberPrice fan or is loving BtS, please don’t feel like we’re trying to rain on your parade, we’re just expressing our thoughts and worries about this.

If you’re looking for further concerns and frustrations, I’d direct you to TomorrowHeart’s curiouscat posts here...and here, more insightful concerns expressed.

As always, I am very supportive of Deck Nine and have enjoyed a lot of what they’ve made, but I am still frustrated and confused as to why this project exists in the first place. I’ll be sure to deliver some analysis on the good and bad of Episode 3 after it launches, as I already have written on Episode 1 and Episode 2.

There’s a lot of good here but I think this is a much more delicate situation than “just a video game” and I feel like the people in positions of power maybe don’t quite grasp that -- or, they might, and are taking advantage.

Either way, I hope the next two episodes turn out well and SE will finally leave this story alone before milking it completely dry.

If you want the queer following, create a new story with new characters and OWN IT even more openly, give us a POSITIVE ending.

Or, I dunno, maybe just don’t try targeting queer teens as a demographic to sell a product to and just TELL STORIES you care about, personally? (I’m speaking in general here, not even just to SE)

#Life is Strange #Before the Storm #LiS BtS

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thisselflovecamebacktome · 7 years

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The good, the bad and the ugly; every one of my thoughts and headcannons surrounding Rachel Amber.

I’ve wanted to do this piece detailing exactly what I think of Rachel since episode three came out but haven’t had the time to actually sit down and write it but here it is.

EDIT: This was a hell of a lot longer than I expected it to be so it’s going under a read more so it doesn’t clutter up the tag but I do encourage you all to read it.

I will start by saying even before Before The Storm I was an Amberprice shipper romantically over a Pricefield one (tbh they felt more like sisters to me). I didn’t think that they had the healthiest of relationships, but the dynamic intrigued me. However I will say that I definitely feel what happened with Max was an important factor to Amberprice happening just as Rachel was to Pricefield reuniting. To me, both relationships are extremely important and one is not better than the other, just different.

I also find it hilariously ironic that both sets of shippers pull the “Rachel/Max abandoned Chloe” argument because all three of these girls are a cautionary tale in appreciation. What I mean by that is that all three of these girls share the fact that they are too focused on one point in time to appreciate those in the other time periods of their lives.

Chloe is stuck in the past as shown by her mostly focusing on Max/her dad in Before The Storm and Rachel in Life Is Strange and not realising the good things she has in her present and could have in her future.

Max is too focused on the present which is implied through her relationship with Chloe in both games. Like I’m sure there’s other factors including anxiety and guilt involved, but the fact that she moved past her friendship with Chloe to the point she doesn’t even attempt to get in contact when coming back to Arcardia Bay and yet struggles to see a future without her the minute she comes back into Max’s life implies Max is definitely someone who focuses on the present with smaller regard and appreciation of both her future and past. As an added point, how Max uses her power fits very well into this. It’s not until Chloe has a go at her about William dying that Max even considers to go back that far to try and “fix” the problem. Likewise with Kate, she never goes back to stop what happened or stop the bullying or anything. Like nearly every, it’s only that one present conversation Max rewinds as much as possible.

Lastly, Rachel focuses too much on the future. This is mostly shown by the fact that she does anything she can do achieve her ideal future of leaving Arcadia Bay, something she thinks will solve all her problems. Chloe, Frank, Jefferson? Hell maybe even Nathan? When she first meets them, she sees ways out. Now I want to make it clear that this does not mean that she does not care about any of them. I 100% believe she loved Chloe and wanted that “perfect” future she thought she was going to have by leaving the Bay. We are also practically told that she cared deeply for Frank by the fact he has her bracelet which was heavily implied was given to him as a gift and sign of affection. While we are not shown it, it would not surprise me if she cared for Nathan and Jefferson too. To be honest, that’s something I didn’t pick up so well in Life Is Strange, but really did in Before The Storm. But either way, it can’t be denied that these people all had something to offer in terms of helping Rachel achieve the future she wanted. And in Jefferson’s case, it got her killed because quite frankly, he knew just how bad she wanted to get out and that he was her best chance at that point which I will talk about later. But once again, them having something Rachel felt she needed does not change that she cared for them. Likewise, I do not want to say that Chloe didn’t enjoy anyone in her present or that Max didn’t like Chloe and others in her past because that would be false. But all up with all three girls, it’s hard to deny that their focus on these time periods cost them in the long run.

Anyway, that was just some observations I’ve made on the three of them. The real reason I wanted to write this post was to focus on Rachel. During Life Is Strange, I made a post about how part of the reason I disliked Chloe was because she was exactly like me pre recovery. And to be honest, I never thought there was going to be another character I related to more in this series, even if it was the parts of me I dislike and or have killed over the years... Then Rachel Amber came along. As a whole, Rachel Amber has more in common with pre and post recovery me than most characters ever will. Her ambition, her fear and discontent of the mediocrity of everyday life, her need for love and acceptance and hell, even her ability to have people follow her and do what she wants both good and bad, a trait I’ve tried to repress in myself; all of it is what I see in myself.

Quite frankly, the major emotion out of that list that pushes Rachel is her discontent of the mediocrity of everyday life. She’s not a pessimist, not by far, but she always believes the grass is greener elsewhere and does everything in her power to get to that spot, only to realise the grass looks greener in another spot, hence the cycle continues. If I had to guess, I would say that her father caused this. Not with the way he treated her, because even if it doesn’t match well with Life Is Strange, it is clear that James adored his little girl... he may have done messed up stuff to keep her safe, but he did love her. Rose on the other hand... well it was very heavily implied in the game that he did not treat her well. I would guess that his love for her was conditional and he made that clear, even when at home. And when children see that at a young age, they often internalise it because their parents are such a big part of them. So it would not surprise me if Rachel began asking herself “If his love for her is conditional and she’s my mum, does that mean his love for me is too?”. Once again, I 100% believe James loved Rachel unconditionally even if his way of showing it was really fucked up, but the way parents treat each other impacts their kids whether they mean it to or not and his treatment of Rose impacted Rachel. And that’s where I guess she got her mindset of needing to be good at everything and wanting so desperately to escape so she didn’t have to be.

I also think that this is why she was so quick to believe James when he said Sera was her biological mother. Because it allowed her to sever that connection of how he treated Rose compared to how he treated her because they were no longer connected in her mind. And as messed up as it sounds, I think had she had the time to cool down and process it before going to track Sera down, it would have ultimately given her a bit of peace because even if it was only slightly, she would have been more confident in regards of her dad’s love for her. This goes without saying that I don’t think Sera was the piece Rachel felt she was missing. I think it was that resolution to the conflict of why James seemed to treat her well but not the woman she thought was her mum. Sera just happened to be the personification of that. It’s fucked up, but that’s just how I read it. I also want to say though, I hate how it was written that not one person said “Rose is your real mum too” or something of the sorts because damn it, that woman spent years raising Rachel which is the definition of a parent in my eyes.

Regardless of whether Sera or the resolve was the missing piece however, it wasn’t enough for Rachel. Because, and I hate to burst anyone’s bubble but, unfortunately the truth is not always a band aid that heals wounds. The damage had been done regardless or whether you told Rachel the truth or not. Hell, my guess is that she finds out regardless. And the thing is, for people like Rachel Amber, professional help isn’t always something that comes to mind or easy to access. You’d think it would be considering she’s from a wealthy family, but the truth is when you’re the girl who everything is going “right” for, few people ever want to help you without something in return or take your problems seriously, even psychologists themselves. Furthermore, she probably struggled with the fact she felt she had no reason to complain, something that could also be said for Before The Storm Nathan Prescott, and perhaps the reason they got close.

And that’s what Chloe offered Rachel. Sure, she also offered her a way out of town, but remember, Chloe doesn’t have that at the start of Before The Storm. All she had was herself, and that happened to be exactly what Rachel needed. Someone who didn’t see her as “Rachel Amber; HBIC, DA’s daughter, perfect person” but just “Rachel Amber, girl who wants to hang with me”. She offered a space where Rachel could be herself without expectation, assumptions or preconceptions of who she was. I mean Chloe romanticises it a lot just as Max and Chloe both romanticise their friendship partially due to Rachel’s popularity, but ultimately that’s how their friendship/relationship started; two people who needed somebody and were willing to give what the other person offered.

I will say that I think Rachel deliberately chose Chloe in part because she was separate from the other aspects of Rachel’s life as Chloe didn’t go to school often and only had one mutual friend (Steph) with Rachel, and it’s unclear just how close Steph and Chloe were. I also think that gave the relationship an unequal footing emotionally because even though Chloe clearly had people who cared about her (Joyce, Steph, Mikey and even arguably David), she was so caught up in the past that she didn’t realise that and Rachel would have had to see that at some point. Meanwhile, while they may not have given her the distraction she wanted, Rachel was adored by most people and could leave the relationship without question of being alone. And that imbalance backed Chloe into a corner to do what Rachel said on more than one occasion because as much as Chloe pretends otherwise, she’s terrified to be alone. Now I want to make it clear that I do not think Rachel ever INTENTIONALLY manipulated Chloe, but you can unintentionally manipulate someone and I think that happened quite a bit due to miscommunication through Rachel not realising and Chloe being too scared to bring it up. I also believe that Rachel realised just how big the support gap was later on in the relationship and that’s why when she realised she needed something Chloe couldn’t give her, she chose to cheat rather than leave Chloe because I honestly believe she still loved her, just realised things weren’t working. I am not saying that that’s the right decision at all because it’s not, but if that was the case I would understand why she did it that way.

As for why Amberprice fell apart, I think dependant on the “true” last choice in Before The Storm, it came down to 2 - 3 things. Firstly, as I said earlier. if the ending where Chloe does not tell Rachel is meant to be cannon, I believe Rachel finds out anyway and holds passive aggressive hostility towards Chloe for not being honest with her which ultimately causes arguments and distrust between them. If the ending where you tell her is meant to be cannon, I don’t think this plays a role. Secondly, I think Rachel slowly realised just how depressed Chloe was and how unadept she was to help Chloe 24/7. And because I know that someone is going to come at me saying that I’m trying to say that mentally ill people are a burden, I’m saying this now; I’m not but not everyone is in the right mind frame to help others in their issues, especially severe emotional ones, and given Rachel was barely staying afloat herself, I think it’s pretty safe to say she was not. And finally, I honestly think Chloe was the one who decided not to leave Arcadia Bay earlier. My honest to god guess would be seeing as we saw David get physical with Chloe during Life Is Strange, she honestly believed he would do the same to Joyce if she left. Now I’m not saying David would have because it can honestly be argued either way, but I think regardless, Chloe believed he would and that’s what kept her at the Bay.

Out of those, I think the last one played the biggest role. Remember when I said Rachel is too focused on the future and discontent with the present? That leads me to believe that as much as she loved Chloe, she couldn’t see a happy future with her in the Bay because the Bay was a sign of mediocrity and same old same old for Rachel. Honestly, if I had to guess Rachel’s moon sign, it’d be Capricorn just like me because the Leo/Capricorn (yes I know she was a cusp baby but I’m going with Leo for this) mix is one filled with ambition and the need to be universally recognised, neither of which was being fulfilled for Rachel in the Bay. The thing with ambition though is for it to ever be completely fulfilled, you need to make sacrifices, and often they come in the forms of loss of relationships. So when Rachel realised that Chloe was showing hesitation towards leaving the Bay at that point, she freaked, thinking Chloe may not ever leave and did what she could to find another way.

And that’s where Nathan, Frank and Jefferson comes in. My guess would be Nathan was her first pick, but she quickly learned that any power to leave lay with Sean and Nathan was not in the position to ask. At this point, while I do think she cared about him and sympathised with him not being able to get help, I think she moved on to Frank. In terms of whether she loved Frank, I think she did purely because he has her bracelet. I think at the start Nathan’s words rang true about how she was using him to get away and then drugs when she realised he wouldn’t leave in hopes that would be enough to hold her over until she could leave. And for a while, I think it and the fact she fell for Frank was. But then it reached a point where it wasn’t again. I do think at this point she reevaluated her life and expectations, broke up with Frank and tried to make it work with Chloe or even tried to make it work with Frank, but it just wasn’t enough.

The problem was, she wasn’t the only one who saw that. A certain new photography teacher who happened to be a psychopath did too, and he used it to his advantage. Quite frankly, out of all of Rachel’s relationships, Jefferson has always been the one I’ve thought she cared about the least. And that might be strange considering he’s heavily implied he was the one who “changed her life” but changing someone’s life doesn’t have to be romantic. I honestly believe that the change either was or at least started as Rachel realising Jefferson had an interest in her and finally believing she found her ticket out of Arcadia Bay. Like out of everyone in the game who liked Rachel, Jefferson had the motive and means to leave whenever he wanted and she knew that. I think she thought she was going to outplay him by sleeping with him and getting him to take her to San Francisco for that trip or even LA just for general purposes before chucking the deuces and calling Chloe to convince her to join her. The issue was Jefferson was one smarter. Regardless of if Nathan actually killed her or Jefferson did and lied about it, Rachel was a plaything for him, just like every other girl who was taken to the dark room and he would have eventually discarded her and killed her had she threaten to speak up.

And that’s the tragic thing about Rachel Amber. Because yes, she made some bad and selfish decisions, but ultimately she was a complex, hurting and yet ambitious human being who just wanted to find peace and happiness that she (wrongfully but still) felt so strongly could only be found in a future away from the Bay to the point she never fully found it with those she loved and who loved her in her present.

#life is strange #before the storm #rachel amber #amberprice #there's also some talk about Chloe and Max as individuals and loads on Rachel's relationship and why I think Amberprice fell apart

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lunargrrrl · 7 years

Text

Life is Perfect - Life is Strange/Pitch Perfect AU

So, seeing as I’m currently waiting to register for both FanFic.net and AO3, I thought I’d post a quick preview of my first chapter (still some more to do) of the fic here. First fic I’ve written in MANY years so I am welcoming feedback with open arms!

Set in Acadia Bay (Aca-dia, get it?!), Beca Mitchell attends Barden Academy and longs for something more in life.

PP’s Beca Mitchell is essentially Chloe Price

PP’s Chloe Beale is essentially Rachel Amber

PP’s Aubrey Posen is essentially Victoria Chase

PP’s Jesse Swanson is essentially Eliot etc

I wrote this because both AmberPrice and Bechloe make me emotional. Plenty of fluff/angst/all the good stuff. This particular part is essentially Episode 1 from Life is Strange: Before the Storm, with some different takes on things/Beca Mitchell’s personality mixed with Chloe Price’s from Life is Strange etc. For PP fans not familiar with Life is Strange: Before the Storm, it is an incredible game and I cannot recommend it enough. 100% recommend for the gameplay, emotions, and all the gay feels. You can watch a playthrough of Episode 1 on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6uCVUC7XCE Hopefully/maybe you’ll see the Beca Mitchell in Chloe Price and the Chloe Beale in Rachel Amber etc just like I did. TW: Alcohol/violence

Chapter 1: “I once said I was better off just being dead/but I didn’t know you yet”

The cool evening air whipped its way through her hair as Beca Mitchell put her hands in her pockets and left her front yard. It was April in Acadia Bay, and the Oregon evenings still got pretty cold. She didn’t care though; all that she cared about right now was that she was finally going to get to see Firewalk live. The music, the crowd, the atmosphere; Beca lived for music; and live music was one of the best things in the world. Her mom had called after her from the kitchen as she left the house; something about curfew and not being back too late. Beca didn’t care about that either. She’d found out about this “secret” gig online last minute and there was no way in hell she was going to miss it. No good bands ever seemed to roll up to Acadia Bay; just one of the many reasons Beca was determined to get out of there as soon as she could. Acadia Bay didn’t have anything to offer, and she felt like she didn’t have anything else to give in return. She missed her best friend (who had left for greener, more northern pastures 2 years earlier) and most of all, she missed her dad. Beca Mitchell was done with this town. The people, the lack of anything to do, Barden Academy... The gig tonight was going to be a brief escape. Firewalk were playing at the Old Mill; an abandoned building a bit outside of town where the only real way to get there was to follow the train tracks. Twigs crunched beneath her scuffed boots as the sky grew darker and the buildings became fewer. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she knew it was either one of two people; her mom asking her when she was going to be home or her friend/kind-of-ex Jesse who seemed to text her every hour of every day. Beca and Jesse both enjoyed the same music and that was around about where Beca’s interest in him came to an end. That, and he was probably one of the only guys in Acadia Bay that didn’t make her want to immediately projectile vomit. They had fooled around together in the past and there was no doubt that Jesse was definitely still into Beca. It had been fun at the time and it was a good way for Beca to “test the waters” as such. From now on though, she was determined to try to keep him out of her pants. The only problem was, he was the only one that ever seemed to talk to her or have time for her. She did enjoy talking to him at times, mostly jabbing fun at his nerdish ways or bonding over music. She longed for something more than that though. She longed for someone more. Beca spent lunchtimes at Barden alone with her music blasting through her headphones and she could easily go a whole day without speaking to another student. She made exceptions for calling people out on their bullshit though, and she had no trouble sticking up for herself when the popular students made her feel like a freak; namely, queen bee Aubrey Posen and her followers Jessica and Ashley who worshipped the ground she walked on. Beca tried not to think much of it though as she knew girls like Aubrey picked on other students for one reason only; everyone (including Aubrey) wanted to be Chloe Beale. Well, either be her or be with her. Chloe was beautiful, mysterious, and popular. She excelled in every class and above all, she was a genuinely nice human being who was kind to every single person. Not that she’d ever had a chance to be nice to Beca that is; Beca made sure to walk with her headphones in to avoid human interaction at any cost. Even if people were supposedly amazing and nice and friendly just like Chloe Beale, who’s to say that one day they won’t just abandon you? Or mistreat you? Or disappear without a reason? Just like her dad and her old best friend did. Her feet began to ache as she walked along the train tracks and the sky above her was fully dark now, but she could finally see some lights and hear the low hum of a hard and fast punk bass line which made Beca’s heart beat faster. She jogged forward and jumped over an old fence that definitely had some kind of “no trespassing” warning sign on it. She was finally there. There was a bonfire outside along with cars, bikes, and some rusty machinery. Two guys were fighting next to an RV and she heard glass smashing in the distance. Sketchy dudes hung around smoking outside and she saw a young drunk guy almost fall down the steps to the mill. “Shit...” Beca’s heart sunk. There was a bouncer by the door who had already seen her walking towards the place. “Isn’t it past your bedtime girl?” The towering bouncer called out to her and rolled his eyes. “Bedtime? There’s no bedtime when Firewalk are playing in my town. You’ve got to let me in, dude.” Beca tried to play it as cool as she possibly could, but she had no idea how she was going to make this work since she wasn’t 21 yet and she kind of looked like a teenage boy with long hair (Aubrey’s words) at the best of times. “Stop being cute and just split.” The bouncer crossed his arms and sighed at her. “I don’t do cute.” Being called cute was the last thing Beca needed right now; it added to her annoyance of not being able to see Firewalk. “I’ve been following this band for ages and I can handle myself. You’re an idiot for wasting your time guarding this place instead of seeing the band.”

“Look kid, I can’t protect you in there. Anything happens to you? It’s on me. I’m surprised the cops haven’t turned up to shut this thing down already.” The bouncer took a drag from his cigarette. “I don’t need looking after,” Beca started to square up to him; the situation right now probably looking ridiculous as the huge bouncer towered over her tiny self. “The only one that will need looking after is YOU if you don’t let me in there...like... right now.” She cringed at herself. Hard. But to her surprise, the bouncer stopped for a moment before laughing. Hard. “For real? Oh man, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all night.” He stepped back. “You’re alright kid. Go in. Knock yourself out... before you knock me out” He laughed and shook his head. Beca couldn’t believe her luck, but she wasn’t about to question it any time soon. She sauntered past him, impressed with herself and more pumped than ever. The air inside was hazy from cigarette smoke and the smell of beer engulfed her nostrils. Taking a beer from the ice bucket in the corner, she eyed up the place and saw the entrance to where the band was playing. Just as she was about to walk through the door to the main room, she was knocked backwards by a drunk guy moshing and she fell into someone behind her holding a beer. It spilt all over him. “Fuck...” Beca stepped back in surprise.

At first, the guy looked angry, looking at his friend and then back at Beca. He was tall, skinny, and stank of alcohol.

“Hey hey... looks like you bumped into me little lady.” The two guys sneered at her. “Yep. My bad dude.” “You don’t know who I am, do you?” The skeevy guy blew cigarette smoke in her face.

“Nope. Don’t care either.” Beca pushed past them and away from the moshing crowd. She had a feeling it was best to get away from these guys ASAP, and it wasn’t as if her short ass could see anything from the back of the crowd anyway.

“Let me know how that works out for you!” The mad dude with the beer called after her. She ignored him. “Bitch!”

She shrugged them off; there were more important matters at stake. She had a much better idea. She turned to walk up the wooden stairs in the corner of the building which led to the roof and rafters of the Old Mill above the crowd; she was about to get the best seat in the house. The previous song finished and the drum roll began of her favourite Firewalk song ever. She ran forward to the edge of the rotting floorboards on the top floor and looked down below at the stage. Lights flashed and the amplifiers were set to full; Beca was in heaven. She hung her legs over the edge and nodded her head to the music; letting it fill her ears and her veins with everything she loved. Beca cracked open the beer and savoured the taste as the cold liquid ran down her throat. She leant back and lay down to take it in the music fully. She closed her eyes.

“You spilled my beer, bitch.”

Beca frowned, seeing the two guys from downstairs standing over her demonically. Was this dude for real? There was no way her Firewalk experience was going to be interrupted for this. He followed her up here to start on her AGAIN about his stupid beer?

“You should be more careful, it’s a rough place.” Beca got up and crossed her arms at him. There was no way she had time for assholes like this. Not tonight.

“I don’t like your attitude.” The gross guy squared up to Beca, looking down at her.

“You don’t like my attitude?” Beca questioned him. “Then why don’t I show you how much it pisses me off when assholes like you get butthurt over a spilled beer...”

His friend nudged him. “I think she’s calling you out, dude.”

“She’s going to regret this. Every. Word.” He squared up closer to Beca, waving a skinny finger in her face. “I’m going to teach this little punk some manners.”

Beca started to panic; realising that behind her was the edge of the old wooden floorboards from where the top floor had fallen in. If he kept going, she’d fall down from quite a height and she could really do with that like, NOT happening right now. Her heart raced.

“I’m serious man.” Beca panicked. “I really don’t wanna get angry. It won’t be pretty either... it won’t...” She backed up further, glancing behind her; very aware of how quickly the ledge was approaching.

He lifted his beer bottle and smashed it on the pillar in front of her.

Her breath hitched.

He grabbed her arm.

He held the razor-sharp broken bottle in front of her.

“Hey! Dickhead!”

The guy looked behind at the unknown voice who had shouted at him. He was distracted and now was Beca’s chance. She remembered the beer she’d been drinking was still in her hand, and strengthened her grip around it. Taking a deep breath, she swung it hard enough to knock it to his head and for him to let go of her arm. He fell to the floor. Before she could run, his friend swung a punch at her and got her right in the eye. Pain seared to her face but she didn’t care. She ran for it, covering her eye and bumping into the voice which had caused the distraction in the first place.

Beca uncovered her eye to look at her saviour. Bright blue eyes were looking right back at her with concern; her eye make-up fierce and her red hair tied up into a quiff and high ponytail. She was wearing almost all black, except for a single bright blue feather earring in her left ear which matched her eyes uncannily. Her jacket was killer, with amazing boots to match. That’s when she realised.

“Chloe?!”

Chloe looked at Beca then back at the guys. The dude Beca had knocked to the floor had started to get up.

“Come on!” Chloe grabbed Beca’s hand and began leading her down the steps. Chloe blew a sarcastic kiss to the guys who started on Beca, pulling her away with a purpose. Beca also went to blow them a kiss; giving them the middle finger instead.

What was happening right now? Was this real? Had Beca actually been knocked out by the skeevy dude earlier? Did she have a concussion? Was Chloe Beale actually at a Firewalk concert? Was she really been saved and swept away by Chloe Beale right now?

Before she knew it, she was downstairs in the mill and being led through the crowd by Chloe; their hands entwined. Chloe manoeuvred in and out of people, finally stopping and pulling Beca forwards when she was right at the front of the crowd. The band were right there in front of them on stage; loud, heavy music filled her ears and the buzz was so intense that it was almost overwhelming. She looked at Chloe who was jumping up and down and shouting the lyrics.

She couldn’t take her eyes off her.

#bechloe #amberprice #life is strange: before the storm #pitch perfect #wlw #fanfic #fic #beca mitchell #chloe beale #chloe price #rachel amber

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