#did this in less than 2.5 hours it's a little rushed

[itsdefinitely]

inktober day 1: dream

[litfiction]

oneshot one four three ❤️‍🩹

pairing — paige bueckers x fem!reader

content & warnings — "four years of heavy hearts and unspoken words meet in the gampel pavilion parking lot, rehashing old wounds" , uhm just poorly written angst sorry...

word count: 1.9k , notes @ the end (i'm sorry for this)

[PRESENT DAY, 30 SECONDS AGO]

“I just wanted you to know.”

It’s been four years. Four years of pain you thought you numbed. You thought you numbed. Because now that wound in your heart you had tried so hard to ignore felt fresh all over again.

[4 YEARS AGO]

Maybe you should’ve seen it coming. Maybe you did see it coming. Doesn’t make reality hurt any less. That’s just the harsh truth. Paige’s life was changing, her future having so much in store for her. A future that you aren’t in.

She left for Connecticut two hours ago. Her last message to you was five minutes ago.

paige :) 9:13PM

Boarding now

I’m sorry

You blocked her number after staring at the message for another five. Childish, sure, but so was your hoping things would work out for you. Hoping long distance would work out. But Paige was barely out of state and look where you were now. A sick game it is, love. Not fit for childish hopes.

[PRESENT DAY, 2.5 HOURS AGO]

“Please! It’ll be fun I swear!” Your best friend begged. She’s been begging you to go with her to a UConn basketball game. You would but you got off a plane not even two hours ago and entry to the game venue was in less than one. But your best friend is nothing if not persistent and you relent to her continuous pleas.

Within 45 minutes you’ve showered, picked out an appropriate outfit, and done minimal makeup. You wanted to look at least a little more presentable.

Your best friend, Elsie, rushes you out to her car to drive you to the UConn campus from her apartment. She hops out of the car excitedly, telling you all about the friends that let her know about this game. You nod to the sound of her voice but you don’t pay attention to the words she’s saying.

This is a women’s basketball game. You don’t realize you’ve said that out loud until Elsie looks at you and says, “Duh,” with a weird expression on her face.

You don’t say anything but silently, you dread every step closer you take to the arena, knowing what (or who) you’ll probably be facing in a matter of minutes.

Elsie spots her UConn friends near the entrance to Gampel Pavilion and runs excitedly up to them, waving you over quickly when she notices you didn’t follow her. You walk behind the small group of girls quietly, having said minimal introductions. The place is already packed and buzzing with energy as soon as you step inside.

You follow the way to a registry table and then to your seats. It’ll still be a few minutes until the athletes come out so you take that precious time to calm your nerves. Elsie notices you breathing heavily and shaking your leg and sends you a concerned look. It snaps you back into a more normal state. You were probably worrying for nothing.

Except when the UConn Women’s Basketball team, or more specifically, a certain blonde on the team, emerges from the tunnels, the stands erupting in cheers, people clapping loudly next to you, it feels like the world stops to lend you that moment of time to feel everything again.

[4 YEARS AGO]

“You could’ve told me sooner.” Your voice was eerily quiet. It unsettled Paige only because she thought you’d be yelling at her. You wanted to, you wanted nothing more than to scream and yell at her but you couldn’t. The only display of emotion coming from your otherwise stoic face were the quiet falls of tears coming from your tired eyes.

“I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”

“You let me hope, Paige. You let me hope like an idiot in love that you would choose to stay. Or at the very least, be willing to keep me in your life!” The last sentence rising in volume as you finally felt the anger take over.

She was committed to the University of Connecticut, a thousand miles away from where you currently were in Minnesota. That wasn’t the part that made you angry. You were angry that she had waited until months after she told you where she committed that she couldn’t do long distance.

Your chest burned and your throat constricted with all feelings of grief and anger. Bile rose faster than the words you wanted to scream at her, leaving you speechless.

Paige was quiet herself, too ashamed to say anything further. “I hope everything goes well for you in Connecticut.”

And then you walked out of her house, a red tinge in your eyes and an ugly feeling in your heart.

[PRESENT DAY, 2 HOURS AGO]

Paige ran out with that buzzed feeling running through her. It felt like her veins were electric currents. The crowds cheered loudly upon seeing her and she loved playing into it too much, her teammates smirking at her.

They announced the starting lineups and within a matter of minutes the first quarter to the game had begun with the tip-off.

The game felt good. Paige felt in her element and the the crowds felt energized. It was shaping up to be a great game for the Huskies. For Paige especially. She sank a good number of her three attempts, getting her teammates some assists, making most of her free throws.

By the fourth and final quarter, UConn was up by 11. Their momentum hadn’t slowed down and every player that got to play got a decent amount of points by the end making a decisive victory with the Huskies up by 18 points in the end.

Paige was on a high even after almost everyone had cleared out. She felt amazing, like she could do anything.

Fate has a funny way of testing her.

[PRESENT DAY, 30 MINUTES AGO]

The game ended well. You did enjoy watching (if you count out all the times your eyes drifted to Paige, which in your defense, is hard since she is kind of their star player, which was a lot of times so maybe you didn’t enjoy watching as much you thought) and maybe you’d watch another one (if even thinking about basketball didn’t bring back painful memories).

One of Elsie’s friends was still inside the venue talking with some other people and you were waiting outside for her since she needed a ride home. Elsie was just recapping all the moments she loved from the game and you did your best to agree and respond as enthusiastically. If she noticed you were forcing it, she didn’t say anything.

A door opens and you instinctively turn to where the sound came from. At first, you don’t register who walks out properly because of the canopy of darkness from the night sky.

Then your eyes meet hers and you both freeze. One could argue it’s from the chilly breeze but anyone with two, even one, functioning eyes would be able to tell something was off.

You turn back around quickly, trying to push Paige out of your mind which was much harder now that she was standing the closest she has to you in years. Your attempts are completely futile when you feel a presence behind you and Elsie is making a face at you to turn around.

Reluctantly, you do. And you think you can hear your heart crack like porcelain.

She looks good even in her tracksuit. She still has the same blonde hair and dark roots. The same piercing blue eyes. She still makes you feel the same things she did four years ago. Although now there are more painful undertones as you take her in.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, not accusatory, just in genuine question. It takes you a second to reply back, kind of in shock that she was talking to you again.

“I’m- I’m visiting my friend,” you point over your shoulder to Elsie who waves before turning to walk away, pretending to be on her phone. You’ve told her bits and pieces of your history with Paige but she’s never gotten the whole picture. Whether it was because “it wasn’t that serious” or it hurt too bad (it’s the latter), you’re sure Elsie’s probably figured out the answer herself by now

Paige nods. Neither of you say another word for a solid minute, just standing there quietly, looking at each other. Wondering if this is real life.

Paige isn’t even sure why or how she ended up here, she only vaguely remembers her feet carrying her over like there aren't four years and paragraphs of unspoken words between you two.

You don’t even realize you’re crying until Paige’s hand instinctively reaches out to wipe the droplets away before stopping herself, knowing that that’s probably inappropriate to do now. Every fiber of your being wishes she didn’t because you’d have let. You’d have let her do whatever, no matter how reckless.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. It’s so faint you have to strain to hear it. “Why are you apologizing again?”

“Because I still don’t think I’ve said it enough. I really am sorry.”

You only sigh but add a nod along with it. “It’s okay.” Except it really isn’t. Somehow the pain is worse than the first time she said it. All you want at this moment is for the pain to stop. For Paige to not say anything further for fear it’ll only make it worse.

But she has a knack for doing the opposite of what you want.

“I’m not sure I should even be saying this, or even be here really, but I regret doing what I did to you. I regret it so much.”

“So why did you do it? Why’d you let me believe we could work it out? That you’d let me be there for you? I was willing, Paige.” Quiet sobs wracked your body, threatening to get louder as she stays silent again.

She’s crying now too. Paige contemplates what to say next, trying to gather her thoughts but that’s the thing about you, she’s never been able to think properly around you. So she blurts whatever response her brain conjures up.

“I was scared.”

“Scared? Scared of what?”

“Of the possibilities.” She’s quiet. You’re quiet. Dead silence falls between you two.

“You think I wasn’t too? I was so terrified of all the things that could go wrong. But I loved you enough to not care, even when you chose the possibility I was the most scared of.” Anger flooded your body again. This was so unfair.

“Everyday I wish it wasn’t the one I chose. But I got in my head and didn’t want to lose you while we were thousands of miles apart.” The “so I lost you while we were three feet apart” hangs in the air.

Nothing else comes out of your mouth. You’re too tired for this conversation.

[PRESENT DAY, 1 MINUTE AGO]

You thought when you walked away that day four years ago would be the worst pain you’ve ever felt. That turned out to be a lie as thirteen words fell from Paige’s lips.

She didn’t say anything else but as the final blow to your already worn out heart, she lets herself hold you in her arms, giving a light kiss to your temple before walking away to her car.

You sobbed dryly as she drove off, the last words she said to you ringing in your ears.

“I still love you. I never stopped. I just wanted you to know.”

🔖 — day two! chose a pretty vague prompt and went angsty with it. idk how to feel about this honestly i hope my angsty writing improves... lmk how you liked it! thank you sm for reading 🤍

[maybebecomingms]

you can't believe it's happening now

In 2022, my sister got us tickets to an Aly & AJ show in June. She'd seen them the previous summer at Lollapalooza and fell in love.

I kinda laughed at first - they're like Disney Channel stars, right? Alright, that totally sounds like a show we WOULD go to. And they're sisters, and we're sisters. It sounded perfect and dorky.

It was anything but dorky! Those girls grew up, just like we did, and their music is incredible! We caught another show less than a year later in April 2023. I told my sister that if they went on tour every year, I'd very happily make the trip to an annual concert. (We live about 2.5 hours from a large metro area that is a popular tour spot)

Of all the beautiful work they've done, I initially landed on one of their "we wrote this when we were children" songs, "Rush." Spotify told me it was my most-played song of 2022.

Don't let nobody tell you your life is over Be every color that you are Into the rush now, you don't have to know how Know it all before you try

I announced my intent to separate from my ex-husband in February 2022 and didn't move out until the end of May 2022. I had a sweet little house, a cute dog, financial stability, and from an outsider's perspective, a pretty decent and normal life. And I was going to blow it all up at 35 and see what happens.

"Don't let nobody tell you your life is over" on repeat got me through those months.

And it wasn't!

And it isn't!

And this life is so much more authentic and abundant with love.

Happy valentine's day 💖

[chelseydavidson]

Week #12 Progress

What is working?

Working is working. The fact that I have clients, that I can go out and work, is definitely a good thing in my books. Last Friday, on May 17, I did more sessions with Jan and Marcia Brady. The sessions actually went much better this time than last. Jan was not acting like she was preparing for her last meal and focused so much better on her tables of values than the kitchen table. Marcia also had a markedly more positive attitude, as well, and we began working through word problems, which she self-identified as giving her the most grief. We developed a step-by-step approach to translating a wordy problem into the essential pieces to turn it back into a math problem, by identifying the given information and the question in more numerical terms. She seems to be picking up on it quickly and was able to independently apply this method before the hour was over. 

Carol Brady was very happy and let me know that, since Carol was involved in some end-of-school year event coming up, she had some one-on-one time with Marcia’s teacher. The teacher told Carol that Marcia was already improving in her attitude in class and that it reflected on her last test. I was impressed that results would show this quickly, but I appreciated the feedback. Carol booked more sessions with me, as well. 

What is not working?

I don’t know whether to say that canvassing has been helpful to the business or not. I’ll let the pessimistic side of myself take the reins for now, though, and say, for the reasons I’m about to outline below, I should be out. 

I was initially considering just going to houses around schools and knocking door-to-door. So, I did an ounce of research. While the majority of articles on the topic relate to the real estate industry, where knocking on doors can be more effective than any other means of advertising, there was some interesting factoids about how canvassing is still getting your name out to the community throughout this method (even if the answer is no) and a sense of how often it leads to interest (about 4% of the time).

However, there were a couple of issues there - one, there is no guarantee that the person inside has children; but, more importantly, my timing was off on account of the long weekend sending the majority of people out of town to enjoy the time off for Victoria Day. 

Another article discussed cold-calling as a type of canvassing, but offered some interesting approach advice, particularly on prequalifying your target prospects to make them a little warmer to your proposal. I adapted these tips to my idea to hand out flyers to the public. While places like grocery store parking lots may have ample volume, it may not necessarily have parents with disposable income who may want to use some of that money on their children’s education. My target customer, though, might be taking their child to dance class or karate or gymnastics, to help improve their child’s character and well-being. These classes are not cheap, either, so it’s feasible to assume that they have enough money to afford tutoring, should the need arise. 

So, I created my flyer and printed out 100 copies.

Then, I headed out Saturday morning to do my bidding. I checked out some online schedules and found that classes were running at a karate and martial arts academy and gymnastics and circus school, so I started there. I spent roughly 2.5 hours combined there, aligning myself to be present in the parking lot after the first set of classes ended. My reason for doing so was that the parents should theoretically be less rushed picking up their child as opposed to dropping them off, and therefore, may have more time to talk to me. There was tons of opportunity, as well - let me say that much - in that dozens of parents came in and out of both locations. While I did speak to 4 people who had more of an interest (or were just overall more nice about my business and thus engaged in conversation), I haven’t received any inquiries yet about my service. So, for now, I’m going to call this effort a bust. 

I still have lots of copies of my flyer left, so I may give it another go at a dance school or sports centre in Ajax or Pickering (I have my eye on a few locations that seem to be high-volume opportunities), but I must say it is exhausting. 

How do you feel the project is coming?

I am going to try to be objective about the business and cold hard numbers may, at times, be the best way to assess whether a venture is going well or not. 

So, let's start with the obvious: the business is making money. There are paying clients, so that's a clear win. 

Secondly, revenue is coming in and there have been no issues with the payment channels that would cause delays in customers paying invoices. No complaints and dollars coming in means that I am on the right track here.

Thirdly, the venture is turning a profit. I've managed to keep the amount of overhead low for the business and the amount of money coming in is greater than that going out. Therefore, I am lucky enough to say that the business is profitable, something not all businesses can say within their first two to three years.

Is the business model working? This one is a little bit more objective, but with results showing already and no concerns from the existing clientele, the business model is working. I'm still looking for lost opportunities, but, considering I wanted to use the one-on-one in-person at-home approach for its effectiveness as opposed to the virtual tutoring model that boasts a lower success rate in supporting learning, then the venture is doing well at capturing the opportunities that come along and generating revenue without compromising the style of tutoring offered.

Finally, I want to look at my rate of growth. The business is definitely growing, what with adding new clients. I am still stunned at this fact – it is not turning into a mundane fact any time soon – and I think that the growth is a positive trend. However, I do hope that it is still trending upward and not plateauing at two clients. That is the thing that makes me nervous. I want sustainable growth, not a rapid burst that peters out. I don’t want it to be the microbusiness version of a dead cat bounce.

So, all in all, I think it’s fair to say the project is going all right and I need to lay off (of myself). If I let my Type A personality have its way and monitor my venture too closely for every dip, I’d be in danger of becoming as ridiculously obsessive as Monica the stock investor.

What are you learning about running a business?

I’m learning to handle the sting of rejection. Oftentimes, it is just being ignored, and sometimes it is a loud “no” in your face, but whatever form it comes in, business is full of rejection. I have become quite good at remembering that it’s not personal, it’s strictly business. (Whoa, Godfather much?) 

Learning from rejection has been helpful. Whatever I can extract from the “no” will help guide the business. A lot of the “no” I received when handing out flyers was actually parents saying, “It’s summer. Maybe in September.” There is definitely a seasonal impact on my business, in that parents just do not see the value of tutoring in the summer months during a break from school. 

I wasn’t blind to this and even incorporated it into my online showcase, so I am quick to bring up summer learning loss and how they can prevent it by continuing tutoring sessions through the summer break. It’s like anything in that the habits define the outcome. Good students are often those who make it a habit to learn and study, consistently and stably over the long term. 

What are you learning about yourself?

I am learning that I am definitely an introvert. At times, considering the work I’ve done in the past, I have appeared to be so out of my shell that the notion of ever having been a turtle was out the window. I have had colleagues assume I am an extrovert because of my ability to talk extemporaneously and pitch ideas without any sense of shyness.

However, the fact that my inner battery was wiped after talking to what was basically just four people when I was handing out flyers and that I just needed some time to myself to reenergize speaks volumes. When I got home and sat down after only a few hours of being out amongst the masses, I was so relieved. The dopamine receptors in my brain must’ve had a warm glow looking at the couch and a blanket.

I don't think this is a bad thing, though. A lot of successful entrepreneurs, like Steve Wozniak, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, and Warren Buffett are identifiable introverts. Introverts have a lot of good qualities that lend themself to running a business, including great listening skills, comfort working independently with the drive to do so, more rational thinking that tends to lead to more preparation and logical decision-making, powerful sense of observation, and capacity to coexist with other types of personalities, including the larger-than-life ones.

So, I think I’ll count myself in good company.

[avantihealth]

5 reasons why 2023 needs to be the year of better health for seniors!

It is a classic saying, ‘new year, new me‘.

Every time we reach the new year, we look back on the year that was and many of us will make a resolution to drink less, eat better and move more.

At Avanti Health Centre, we focus on the health and movement of those aged over 50, we do this because we know that starting resolutions that focus on exercise can be daunting. Most of our members have never been gym people and have no idea where to start!

Due to this, we want to explain our top five reasons why exercise should be your focus for 2023 and let you know how we can help you achieve this!

AVANTI HEALTH CENTRE’S TOP FIVE REASONS WHY 2023 NEEDS TO BE THE YEAR OF BETTER HEALTH FOR SENIORS!

EXERCISE CAN BOOST YOUR MOOD

Moving your body creates a simple chemical reaction that helps produces endorphins, giving you a euphoric rush after a workout. Next time you’re having one of those days where nothing is going right – simply start by moving your body and visit us at the gym!

EXERCISE HELPS BUILD YOUR COMMUNITY

One way to meet like-minded people, especially as we transition into different life stages (e.g. retirement), is to join a gym! At Avanti Health Centre we are proud of our fun and friendly community and encourage a range of different social gatherings as we understand the physical and mental benefits of social connection as we age.

EXERCISE INCREASES OUR ENERGY

Sometimes the last thing we feel like doing when we are feeling tired – is exercise. However, this is EXACTLY what we should do to give our body the energy boost it needs. Regular physical activity can boost your endurance and enhance muscle strength.

Exercise supplies nutrients and oxygen to your tissues and helps your cardiovascular system work more efficiently. By improving your lung and heart health, you’ll have more energy to tackle daily chores and anything else life throws at you.

EXERCISE HELPS US SLEEP BETTER

As we age, our sleep can be greatly affected. As you age your body produces lower levels of growth hormone, so you’ll likely experience a decrease in slow wave or deep sleep (an especially refreshing part of the sleep cycle). When this happens you produce less melatonin, meaning you’ll often experience more fragmented sleep and wake up more often during the night.

The good news is regularly working out can help you fall asleep faster and get better sleep quality!

EXERCISE TRULY IS MEDICINE!

Did you know that research studies show that as little as 20 minutes of moderate-intensity activity each day can help keep you healthy, including lowering your risk of cardiovascular disease, stroke and cancer, among other benefits. Expertly prescribed exercise can also help manage the symptoms of thousands of conditions ranging from mental health to diabetes to cancer treatment – what could be more powerful than that!

WHAT ARE THE EXERCISE GUIDELINES FOR THOSE AGED BETWEEN 50 – 65?

According to the Australian Physical Activity Guidelines, adults aged between 50-65 should be active most days, preferably every day!

Every week, we should be aiming to achieve:

2.5 to 5 hours of moderate-intensity physical activity – for example, brisk walk, golf, mowing the lawn or swimming

1.25 to 2.5 hours of vigorous-intensity physical activity – for example, jogging, aerobics, fast cycling, tennis or netball

OR an equivalent combination of moderate and vigorous activities listed above.

We should also be aiming to include muscle-strengthening activities as part of your daily physical activity on at least 2 days each week. This can be:

push-ups

pull-ups

lifting weights

heavy household tasks that involve lifting, carrying or digging.

WHAT ARE THE EXERCISE GUIDELINES FOR OVER 65S?

For those who are aged 65 years and over, we recommend at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity on most, preferably all, days. Moderate activity is defined as fitness activities are good for your heart, lungs and blood vessels, and can include:

brisk walking

swimming

golf with no cart

aerobics or water aerobics

cycling

yard and garden work

tennis

mopping and vacuuming.

As you age it is also important to include strength exercises into your daily routine, these can include:

weight, strength or resistance training

lifting and carrying (for example, groceries or small children)

climbing stairs

moderate yard work (for example, digging and shifting soil)

calisthenics (for example, push-ups and sit-ups).

Finally, you should also be focusing on flexibility and balance exercises to train our bodies to be strong, flexible and safe as we age.

Flexibility activities can include:

tai chi

bowls (indoor and outdoor)mopping or vacuuming

stretching exercises

yoga

dancing.

Balancing activities can include:

side leg raises

half squats

heel raises.

ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT STARTING TO MOVE MORE IN 2023?

Our first piece of advice is, doing any physical activity is better than doing none. If you do no physical activity right now, start by doing some, then slowly build up to the recommended amount.

If you find 30 minutes difficult right now, start with just 10 minutes once or twice a day. After 2 weeks, increase to 15 minutes twice a day.

If you can do more than 30 minutes, you will get extra benefits.

Over the course of the week, try to incorporate different types of activities.

Try to reduce the time you spend sitting down – break that time up as often as you can.

If you are looking for a little more guidance and community support then give our friendly team a call at your closest Avanti Health Centre and let’s get you involved in the gym the over-50s community has been waiting for!  Click here to find your nearest centre!

[sinnoman]

Letting Diavolo Go To The Human World Is The Same As Letting The Pigeon Drive The Bus… Do Not Do It!

tw: cursing. also, minus luke.

The Demon Prince’s fascination of the human world wasn’t a new thing to you. However, it did surprise you how much he did not know of the customs and cultures humans had. He’s centuries older than you can imagine and he’s never impulsively gone up there before?

When you asked him about it, he gave you wide grin. “I’ve only gone up there for conferences and meetings. I’ve never gone up there simply to have fun. I have so much work and it takes up too much time.”

You frowned a little disheartened that Diavolo hasn’t been able to experience or enjoy a trip to the human world without it being work related. You were about to suggest a proposition as Barbatos added on, “Speaking of conferences, your four o’clock meeting is about to start in ten minutes, Young Master.”

The bright smile on Diavolo’s face fell a little. “I’m sorry, MC, our weekly tea has to be cut a little short.” You reassured him it was no problem as he got up from his seat and walked you to the door. He told Barbatos to escort you to the House of Lamentation. The minute Diavolo was out of earshot, Barbatos leaned towards your ear with a strained smile on his face.

“The Young Master is able to do what he wants. However, no matter what he does, do not let him go to the Human World by himself and with no motive.”

You didn’t understand why Diavolo wasn’t allowed to go up there without being supervised. He was a grown man and the literal Future King of Hell. Surely, he could take care of himself. So a few days later you asked him if the two of you could to the Human World together and he agreed. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, you were wrong. You were so wrong!

It’s been less than twenty-four hours and now the both of you are sitting in a jail cell. Your left hand was sticky, your clothes were damp with rainwater and you were sure the guard kept eyeing you up and down as if you were insane. Diavolo sat next to you with a guilty look on his face. He mouthed a “sorry” at you, making you giggle while tearing up at the predicament you both were in. He could only laugh with you as you laugh and cry at the same time.

When the guard had told you were allowed one phone call (courtesy to Diavolo for compelling him to do so) you immediately headed towards the jail phone and punched in the number. You were a little surprised that the Devildom phone numbers worked but you didn’t really dwell on the thought.

You just hoped the person you called would bail the both of you out.

LUCIFER

Sigh…

Someone get him five shots.

When you called Lucifer to tell him that you and Diavolo went to the Human World for a day trip, he was hoping you were going to ask him if he wanted anything before the both of you came back.

What he wasn’t expecting was (in less than 24 hours) for you to tell him not only have the both of you created an unnatural phenomenon, you managed to commit three felons, crashed a car that neither of you have a license to drive and managed to get caught of all things.

When you told him that you got arrested he was debating on letting you go to prison so you could learn your lesson. Then he heard Diavolo’s voice in the back and started choking on his wine.

How in the three realms did Diavolo managed to get arrested? And how did you (the one he thought was as responsible as him) allow this to happen? What do you mean you let Diavolo drive the car? He has a butler for a reason, MC, obviously hE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE—

Was about to lecture you about the danger you put yourself (Diavolo) in and what the consequences when he heard Diavolo’s, “I don’t want to go back.”

Immediately gathers everyone to go and pick you both up. Has the bail money ready to go, makes sure he thinks of everything that can go wrong and gives it a solution and prepares to drag Diavolo out that jail cell himself.

When he gets there he gives you a glare that could soil cheese in 2.5 seconds.

When he goes to bail you both and the guard tells him you both can’t be released tonight, he snaps. Immediately threatens the guards with the unholiest torture threats you’ve ever heard. The guard ends up caring a little less about his job and a little more about his life and let’s you both go.

Diavolo doesn’t leave the cell. Father help him, his patience is running thin.

The next two hours is just him, Barbatos and Diavolo arguing.

“Young Master, for the last time. Get out the cell.” “NO!” “Can we just leave him—” “Quiet, Belphegor! We cannot leave him. Lord Diavolo GET OUT THE CELL!”

MAMMON

Impressed but at the same time mostly concerned.

When you told him what happened, his face started to get paler with each word. How did the two of you manage to do all this in less than a day? And here he thought he was a troublemaker…

Then the words finally process in his head. “Ya got in a car crash?! Human what we’re ya thinkin’? What if ya died? I don’t care who was drivin’ I’m never letting ya near a car again!”

Looking and thinking for someway to profit off of this. Then realizes, as the appointed human watcher, if Lucifer found out that he let you get arrested ON TOP of Diavolo being there with you while he made money off of it, his head would be ripped off.

In a state of fear in panic for both his life and yours, he goes to pick you both up alone.

It’s not his first time encountering the police. He’s been arrested before for illegal gambles, dealing, fights and such its not hard to guess what for. He will tell you though that he’s actually not the first brother to get arrested.

When he gets there the first thing he does is rush to you and make sure you’re okay. He doesn’t really care that Diavolo is there too. He just has to make sure that you are okay. All human parts are intact? Okay. Good. Let’s go.

Then the guard tells him that he can’t let you both leave yet because you need to be trialed.

Uh oh. Frustrated Mammon is here.

Immediately starts arguing with the guard. He gets so angry he’s about to start throwing punches. That’s until the guards throws a handcuff on him and shoves him in the cell with you.

He gets a phone call too, though.

You tell him to call Lucifer or Barbatos and then Diavolo tells him not to call either of them because he really doesn’t want to go back. Suddenly, Diavolo and him are best friends.

You command him to call Lucifer though and he bites his lip. The ringing of the jail phone has his heart pounding. When the phone connects, the words spill and he mentally cursing at you.

Long story short, Lucifer is the one that gets you both out and leaves Mammon there.

LEVIATHAN

Immediately asks you why you called him of all people. Doesn’t hesitate to try and refer you to someone else.

Then immediately remembers it’s like that this is exactly like that one anime where the—

When you told him why you got arrested he got extremely nervous, ESPECIALLY when he heard Diavolo’s voice in the back correcting you when you left a detail or two out. Not because he’s of the intensity of the crimes but, because he knew Lucifer would absolutely strangle you.

Is already panicking and looking for a solution. Is trying to remember what his brothers had done when he got arrested. (Spoiler Alert! He was the first brother out of all of them to get arrested. He punched a child in the face at an anime convention. The kid snitched and told his mom, cough cough, little shit, cough cough. Does he regret it? Nope! In his opinion, the kid deserved it.)

He voices his anger when he realizes that he has to use manga money to bail you both out. How could you do this to him? He thought you were his Henry. Turns out you’re just a fish…

He blogs and video records the minute he gets up there. It’s going to go viral, he just knows it. Then he gets a message from Lucifer with a smiley face and a link to his blog and he’s panicking. He has to get you two out of there. NOW!

Simply just throws money at the guard, not really caring if you two can’t leave just yet. He’s getting you two out of there one way or another before Lucifer gets here. Listen MC he doesn’t care that he’s making things worse, he refuses to die without having his 93849281849th Ruri-Chan marathon.

Then the dilemma of Diavolo not wanting to leave hits him and his patience is running thin. Why of all people did you have to get arrested with the person needed most in the Devildom?

It becomes too late when he finally manages to start convincing Diavolo to come back home. Lucifer walks through the door.

And Levi summons Lotan.

SATAN

Mr. Agent of Chaos #1 is so proud and impressed with you.

Don’t get him wrong, he was worried about you. Getting arrested and caught for your crimes is a big deal. Yet, you managed to commit three felonies before you got caught? Love, he’s invested.

He has so many questions for you. What felonies did you commit? What was your favorite felony? How’d you get caught? What do you think was the first mistake you made that got you behind bars? If you could do this all over again do you think you would get caught? Here, let him get a pen and paper so you can tell him every little detail of what happened so he can make it fool proof for you.

Then, he here’s Diavolo say he’d be glad to provide the details of what happened and now he realizes what the big issue is.

Oh he can’t wait to hold this against Lucifer’s head. Wait, let him go tell Belphie!

He has everything prepared and is ready to bail you out. You knew he was reliable.

If you see him take a picture of the two of you curled up together in the cell. It’s for research purposes. Totally not for Belphie and him to hold against Lucifer. You can’t tell him to delete it, his printer is already making hundreds of copies.

Turns out Satan isn’t as reliable as you thought. This is because five minutes and a broken desk later, he’s thrown in cell too.

He knows he should get a call too but the guard doesn’t tell him he gets one. Starts cursing so quickly you can’t even make out the words he’s saying.

When Diavolo tells him it might be better that he doesn’t get a phone call, it clicks in his head. Who needs to be bailed out when you can just escape, duh.

He doesn’t even get to the good part when he sees his brothers, Simeon, Solomon, and Barbatos walk through the door. Turns out Belphie’s sleep talking doesn’t have a filter.

He gets a little upset after this whole ordeal. He didn’t even get to try his escape plan…

ASMODEUS

Honey, he can’t relate. It sucks to suck.

Like Lucifer, he has never been arrested. He’s been close to but whenever that happens he just distracts the police from doing it… wink wink.

He knows and seen how stingy police can be with arresting people so he immediately feels for you. And when you’re telling him why you’re in a jail cell, he immediately starts getting ready to come charm you out of that cell. Then he hears Diavolo’s voice.

On second thought…

He immediately has thoughts on how Lucifer would react if he found out he were some how involved in this. Yeah… no, he rather have skin blemishes for the rest of his life.

No matter how nervous he is, he marches his perky butt up there and goes to get you both.

When he gets there he immediately goes to baby you. Checking for any injuries and makes comments on how you’re wet and such. Then he takes in his surroundings.

You’ve been here for how many hours? Oh no. Honey, look. There’s rust everywhere, unidentifiable liquids on the ground. Ew, is that a dead roach caught in a spiderweb? Why were you sitting on the small bench they had? Do you know how many gross people sit on it too? Don’t even get him started on the smell of this cell. Once the both of you go home, straight to the bath.

He goes to pay the bail but then the guard tells them they can’t leave just yet. He knows it’s time to work his magic.

You owe him. The guard is grimy and smells like he hasn’t showered in months. Not only that they’re very persistent at about their job. Charming them is taking longer than he originally had planned.

And then he realizes that Lord Diavolo does not want to leave. Oh boy.

Explains that Lord Diavolo can go anywhere he wants after this, he doesn’t care. That was until you interrupted him saying neither of you can leave without him. He really starts to stress. Why did this have to happen to him?

Somehow and in someway, the both of you manage to convince the redhead to go home. When you get to the House of Lamentation, he’s pulling you straight to his bathroom.

BEELZEBUB

You made him drop his macaroons… his macaroons. He just got them… :(

He is so confused on how you managed to do all of this in a short amount of time? Then he realizes what you just said and he starts stress eating. Poor baby, you kinda regret calling him because it really stresses him out.

“What do you mean you got into a car crash? Are you okay? Are you sure? Don’t worry I’m coming to get you.”

Then he hears Diavolo’s “take your time” and now he’s really stress eating. Not only does he have to bail you out, he has to bail out Lord Diavolo too? Oh boy, the amount of stress you’ve given him is making him have stomach tremors.

He was thinking about getting the both of you alone. Then he started having thoughts of all the human world food and realizes he wouldn’t be able to go alone without getting distracted. So, he brings Belphie to keep him on track.

His frown grows deeper when he sees the two of you curled into each other in the corner of the cell. He ignores how Belphie’s laughing and taking pictures of you both before walking over to you two.

He didn’t bring any bail money. Like Levi, ignores how the guard is saying that they can’t let the both of you leave. Simply pushes the guard off of him when they try to stop him. He also rips the bars from the ground and throws them aside. C’mon, we’re leaving.

Then Diavolo doesn’t want to leave and that’s where Beel gets upset. He’s hungry, Lord Diavolo. He doesn’t have time to be fooling around. His stomach his about to make earthquakes.

In less than three seconds, he’s now playing tug-a-war with Diavolo. Trying to ignore the empty promises of royal dinners the Prince is throwing at him.

“Lord Diavolo, we’re leaving!” “I will let you have anything you want to eat from the Palace is you let me stay!” “WE ARE LEAVING!”

BELPHEGOR

He knew he should have slept through the phone call.

He was actually wondering where you were. You missed their daily nap session. If he wasn’t too tired, he would have gone looking for you earlier.

When you explain to him what happened there’s two opposing sides to his thought. On one hand he’s like “What do you mean you committed three felonies?” in an amusing way. Lowkey is kinda proud. The most he’s been arrested for is fight with some mom who told him he couldn’t sleep at some park with his pillow.

On the second hand he’s like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU COMMITTED THREE FELONIES?” He’s stuck on the part on how you could have died in less than 24 hours. He’s more angry at the fact you’re making him worried about you then at the fact he has to go pick you up.

When he went to go get Beel so they could go pick you up, Mammon overheard and started making a whole commotion. You can only guess what happened next when eight demons, a sorcerer, and an angel showed up at the police station.

When he sees not only you behind bars, but Diavolo too, he’s really wishing he slept through your call.

He snaps when the guard tells him he can’t go home with you just yet. Starts picking a fight the guard. It’s a screaming match before it turns into fist fight. He’s not leaving here until he makes a point Lucifer. He’s winning this fight one way or another! You can’t stop him!!

When he hears that Diavolo doesn’t want to leave, he doesn’t care. He drags you out the cell and leaves the Prince there. Lucifer can deal with him. He just wants to go home.

When you guys do finally get to go home, he’s covered in scratches and a couple of bruises. He’s using you as a body pillow tonight whether you like it or not.

DIAVOLO

He’s so happy.

He doesn’t care that he’s committed serious crimes and is now sitting in this jail cell. He also doesn’t really care that it could potentially hurt his reputation as a ruler. He’s so happy he’s got come up here and do things he’s never done before. And he’s most happy that he got to do this with you!

And although it’s mostly his fault, he pretends as if none of it matters and keeps reliving the moments in head. (He’s sorry, truly. But when he gets so excited he just simply forgets about everything else and focuses on what he wants to do. Laws and regulations; out the window. It’s Diavolo time!)

At first you were more than a little upset with him. But then he couldn’t contain himself and started telling you about what happened today as if you weren’t there. The words are coming out his mouth so fast it gets to a point where he gets all tongue tied and he’s barely saying words.

He tells you every single detail all over again and every emotion he felt within that moment and thought he had too. And the more and more he speaks, that anger you felt diminishes. You’re happy that he’s happy and enjoyed himself although this day hadn’t particularly gone to plan.

Even when Barbatos and Lucifer come to pick you both up, he’s smiling through it. Especially when they both are lecturing you, it goes through one ear and out the other. He’s glad he was able to experience this.

Oh and don’t think it’ll stop here. He basically tries to convince you to go with him again.

BARBATOS

Longer sigh…

He warned you.

He told you not to do it and look what happened. He hopes you learned your lesson.

He also knew this was going to happen regardless of his warning. He tried preventing it, really. But no matter what alterations he made to the timeline, you both still ended in a jail cell.

When you told him what chaos the both of you have caused in less than a day, his anxiety spikes. You let Lord Diavolo drive a car? Of course he’s going to tell you he knows how to drive. Just because he tells you doesn’t mean he actually knows MC—

He’s upset with you but at the same time he feels for you too. He knows how his Young Master gets when he’s too excited. There’s nothing stopping him, he’s really the definition of one-track minded.

He tells you to give him a few seconds to gather a few things before hanging up. You thought it was going to take a half hour at most but then Barbatos is walking through the station door three seconds later.

The guard lets the both of you go willingly and with no money. You suspect it’s Barbatos doing and when you ask him about it, he acts as if he knows nothing.

Actually, he covers the entire mess completely by altering time. He can’t have people finding out Lord Diavolo had gotten arrested by human authorities, can he now? Nothing pops up when you search for news reports on the web.

He lets Lucifer deal with your punishment as he deals with Lord Diavolo’s. However, he does lecture you about it the next time he sees you. Oh, and the two of you alone together? Never happening again.

SOLOMON

You don’t get to finish your explanation before he’s laughing in your face.

Mr. Agent of Chaos #2 is so amused by this, he wants to hear exactly how you got yourself in this mess. He’s even more surprised that you allowed yourself to get caught. You have pacts with seven demon lords and you thought to not use any of them?? This is more entertaining than Asmo at a frat house.

WAIT DID HE JUST HEAR LORD DIAVOLO’S VOICE TOO?

He starts laughing even harder. The Demon Prince got arrested too? This is comedy gold. Wait a little while longer, he needs to document it for future references. Quick question: what type of unnatural phenomenon did the two of you create? Describe it to him.

He knows what the police are like but never has had to deal with them himself. He can’t be shady if he hasn’t avoided the police for a decade or so. What? He got tired of paying taxes…

He goes alone. When he sees you and the large demon smiling at you he starts to laugh again. It’s to the point where he’s wheezing and bending over. He wipes tears from his eyes afterwards. This is priceless. Please let him take a selfie with the both of you in the back.

He goes over to magically open the cell until the guard tells him he can’t do that and you guys can’t leave. He looks over at the guard and mumbles a few words in latin. Now the guard’s a duck, great. Nice going, Solomon.

When Diavolo tells him he particularly doesn’t want to go back the Devildom, Solomon doesn’t care. He can do what he wants as long as he can take you back with him. But when you tell him to help you convince the Prince to go back home, he sighs.

He threatens Diavolo about calling Simeon to come get him and the redhead is glaring at him but still walks out the cell. Great! Now everyone can go home!

So about that the phenomenon….

SIMEON

Three words: What the fuck?

How did any of this happen? When did any of this happened? What do you mean it happened today? The day’s barely ended! You got into a car crash? Are you okay?

Voices his concerns, deeply. Makes you feel so guilty about what happened today you start crying while the jail phone is pressed against your ear. Diavolo can only rub your back as he listens to Simeon thoroughly explain to you on why what you did was wrong and that you’re lucky he isn’t Lucifer.

He then hears Diavolo’s “Maybe calling Simeon was a bad idea.” Oh. Now he’s really upset. Doesn’t understand how Lord Diavolo allowed this to happen. You could have died, he’s not ready to see you in the Celestial Realm just yet! He tells you to pass the phone to the Demon Lord and you can’t imagine what Simeon is telling Diavolo that’s making him so pale. It’s your turn to rub his back.

When you get the phone back, Simeon tells you to sit tight and he’s coming to get you.

When he does get there, the frown on his face makes you feel even more guilty than on the phone. You could even Diavolo go stiff beside you.

When the guards tells him that the both of you aren’t allowed to leave, he’s super close on letting the both of you suffer the consequences. Yet, he tries to make the guard more lenient by guilt tripping him too.

When he hears that Diavolo doesn’t want to go back, it doesn’t take much for him to convince the Prince to go back home. All he does is glare at him and the redhead is walking out the cell with nervous chuckles.

When the three of you go back to the Devildom, he makes the both of you explain to Lucifer and Barbatos as to what happened within the last hour and why he had to go and pick you up.

TAGS: (sorry this is really long.. also don’t mind the grammatical errors I wrote this on my phone and actually less than 24 hours)

@beels-burger-babe

@mammonsemptycreditcard

@obeythebutler

@minteyeddevil

[mylordshesacactus]

How much prep do you do for each dnd session? (As in, how many hours of prep per session hour?)

Honestly, uh....way less than the internet would give you the impression of. Also, I'm bad at time and numbers, and don't keep track of the hours I spend doing my hobbies for fun, so I can't give a very hard estimate, but.

One thing is that I kind of...frontloaded a lot of my prep. There was a leadup of about a month between forming the table and actually running Session 1, and in that time I did a LOT of brainstorming, planning, prep work, etc.

Obviously the worst thing a DM can do is plan out the campaign, I didn't do anything insane like that, but I put together a loose bullet-point list of maybe two dozen adventure arcs, only a few of which had "prerequisites". Like, some of them needed to happen in a certain order, but only in the sense of "this adventure arc, when they get to it, will give them the information needed to guide them to this other one" or "this will only make sense after the other thing has been established".

In fact, when I was planning my mountain-temple adventure, I actually sketched out three different versions depending on what level they were at when they got the mission, because there was no telling what order they'd do various adventures in, or whether they'd pick up certain quest hooks or ask certain questions.

(For example, if they'd been a few levels higher by the time they fought that dragon, it'd have been an ADULT blue dragon; if they'd met Arlette really early, and been tiny babies, it would have been a pair of wyrmlings instead. Similarly, if they'd been more skittish in the earlier levels, I'd have tossed in the hag arc and cut it down to a single hag. Flexibility is everything.)

But the point is, when I was initially laying out the campaign I spent a LOT of intense time planning out some of the "keystone" arcs, the major things that logically linked to each other, as well as "subplot" arcs that would serve to provide a steady build of hints and evidence to POINT to those keystone arcs. And that takes a lot of the pressure off me down the line, because I don't have to go "ah yes time for the next big arc. shit. I have to build it".

I'm usually actively prepping things I don't anticipate needing for like, two months. And I can do that casually, fifteen minutes at a time, often while doing other stuff; I'll get an idea and jot it down in my DM notes doc, or go back and figure out the specifics of a puzzle I came up with last month, but it's all bite-sized and there's no sense of time pressure because I'm telling you, I designed that puzzle like four months ago and they're still nowhere near it being relevant.

The OTHER thing that helps immensely is that I think 5-6 hour game sessions are fucking insane. I'm not doing that every goddamn week. Our sessions are 2/2.5 hours on Saturday evenings; occasionally, for a major setpiece moment like the dragon fight, if everyone agrees, we'll push to 3 hours or a little longer, but at that point I start to fade and it's not fun anymore. This does mean we tend to have less in the way of casual encounters--I'm trying to change that, and build in more casual (not "random," because I plan them to be thematically relevant to the area and interesting in some way, but not Major Boss Fights either) because I realized I wasn't giving my players time to get really comfortable with their combat mechanics.

But you don't actually need six-hour sessions every week. You'd be surprised how that time constraint aids in keeping gameplay moving and the story going forward, honestly.

Those things combined mean that the only immediate session prep I need to worry about on a weekly is making sure I've got NPC names generated and have established what creatures or statblocks I need, and bookmarked or copied them so I've got them easily accessible. I can do that in the hour before the game starts if I need to, without even feeling rushed! And that frees up a lot of time and energy for when I want to do something extra or cool to make a session feel special; like personalizing generic loot, giving the hags names and personalities, homebrewing an item, or making diagrams or handouts.

Everything else (any specific wording I need an NPC to use, a description I absolutely need to include because it's a clue, notes on tactics I want the enemy to use) has been waiting for me, lovingly bullet-pointed, for months at that point.

[ultrahpfan5blog]

So just came out of Spider-man: No Way Home a couple of hours ago. Its a film that that truly is aiming big, both in terms of story and character. And it manages to stick the landing and deliver on the crowd pleasing moments while simultaneously developing the MCU Spider-man in a meaningful way. There's no way to discuss this movie without talking spoilers so be warned.

In essence, this is a culmination to three separate series of live action Spider-man movies. What could easily have been just a throwaway gimmick is handled in a way that is true to Spider-man and giving the MCU the most authentic Spider-man movie to date. For sure, this is a film littered with fan service. Its the sort of movie where you can't go 10-15 mins without a big cameo or a reference or a spectacular action scene. But it is fan service done in a good way. I also feel that this is the MCU film which gets Spider-man the best. I am not sure it is the best movie of the "Home" trilogy. Homecoming might still be slightly better as a movie overall, but I think No Way Home is the best Spider-man movie because it gets the Spider-man character so right.

The film is 2.5 hours long and it never felt it to me. The film has three distinctive acts. There is a lot of ground that it is covering so there are aspects of the film that feel a little rushed. It picks right after the mid credit scene of Far From Home, with J Jonah Jameson revealing Spider-man to be Peter Parker. The first act is very in keeping with the small scale of Homecoming and Far From Home where it deals with Peter struggling to deal with the fact he is now a celebrity, with half the people hating him and the other half loving him. The film breezes by the potential legal troubles for Peter after a quick montage which ends with a a pretty sweet re-introduction of Charley Cox as Matt Murdock. It might have actually been interesting seeing Peter wiggle himself out of this situation but the movie isn't really interested in that aspect of it. Instead it focuses on the struggles he, MJ, and Ned go through due to being figures of controversy and how it affects their future plans for college. On that note, I did find it funny how Peter, Ned, MJ, and Flash were all either getting in or expected to get into MIT as if that's just a normal thing. Its like the best tech university in the world. But I digress. I love that we see the noble side of Peter, in that he feels bad about the impact of his reveal on MJ and Ned to the point that even when he begs the MIT administrator to reconsider the applications, he refers to MJ and Ned, not himself. However, in the process of him feeling bad, he ends up asking Doctor Strange for a memory erasure spell which he subsequently disrupts and causes to malfunction. The re-introduction to Doctor Strange and Wong is also done in fun manner. I think the events that lead to the spell malfunction work a lot better than it felt in the trailer. It felt less out of character in the movie than it did in the trailer so I'm glad they changed it. Once the spell is cast though, that's when the film really kicks off and the scope increases.

The film kicks into another gear entirely with the re-introduction of Doc Ock and subsequently, Green Goblin, Electro, Sandman, and Lizard. The villains from Maguire and Garfield's Spider-man movies return. Of the 5, the focus is definitely more on Doc Ock, Green Goblin, and Electro whereas Sandman and especially Lizard get the short thrift. But I got a real kick out of seeing the villains interact. Especially seeing the interactions between Octavius and Osborne, two people who are both brilliant scientists and had their brains taken over by darker selves. There are some fun exchanges that dig into some of the absurdities and faults of previous films, like Max making fun of how crazy Lizard's plan to make the entire city into Lizards in TASM, or Max and Flint discussing how they both got their abilities in a ridiculous accidents. Its also fun to watch Tom's Peter interact with these characters. And it feels like a very Spider-man thing for him to want to help the villains instead of allowing them to die. The interactions with Molina are pretty funny and the interaction is Dafoe are pretty sweet. It was also fun to see Strange interact with these characters. In general there is a certain kick out of watching these characters interact.

The film takes a decidedly darker shift in the middle of the movie with the turn in Osborne and the subsequent gut punch death of Aunt May, who delivers the iconic line about power and responsibility before her death. That's a brilliantly acted scene and the entire sequence where Peter realizes something is wrong and we see the turn in Dafoe is fantastic tension building and superb acting. The subsequent action sequence is intense and thrilling. And immediately after that the movie achieves even greater heights with the introduction of Andrew Garfield and then Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker/Spider-man from the respective franchises. From there on out, the film only gets better, hitting both its emotional marks as well as its humor and action marks perfectly. The entire final act is hugely entertaining and incredibly gratifying to someone who has watched all the Spider-man movies and enjoyed all of them to a certain extent, even the weaker ones. The film does an excellent job including both Garfield and Maguire without them being just fan service. Not only do they provide some additional development in terms of mentorship to Holland's Peter, but the humor and dynamic of the trio is the best aspect of the movie. Garfield's Peter in particular gets some development and healing which was left incomplete after TASM2. As someone who was a big fan of his performance in those movies, it was very gratifying to see some payoff to his character arc.

Jon Watts has clearly grown much more comfortable in terms of directing action. The action scenes in this movie are incredibly fun. The climax is obviously fangasmic highlight with all three Spideys fighting the villains, but the Doc Ock vs Peter, the Goblin vs Peter fight leading to Aunt May's death, and the really cool and trippy sequence between Doctor Strange and Peter are all serious amounts of fun. Its definitely the best action of all the MCU Spider-man films.

However, as I mentioned previously, the film does have its flaws. They aren't significant enough to detract from its enjoyment and they are fairly minor but they are there. As I mentioned before, of the villains, Sandman and Lizard get the short thrift. The film doesn't really give an indication how they died since they didn't die in Spider-man 3 and TASM films respectively. Also not sure why Flint Marko started attacking Spider-man. He wanted to be cured and go home so he has no reason to go against Peter. Similarly, Lizard is just kind of there and just attacks for no reason. The film gives no reason for why Max looks different and even makes fun of that fact. In addition, I realized a plot hole because Octavius mentioned that Osborne became the Goblin. However, that was never public knowledge since Harry himself also only found out at the end of Spider-man 2. So Octavius wouldn't know either. Similarly, Max doesn't know who Spider-man is. So why is he there given the gimmick is that only the villains who know Peter's identity have come through. The film's use of Doc Ock also is also mostly for humor reasons although his assist in the climax is wonderful and he has a lovely scene he shares with Tobey Maguire. The main issue I have with the film is over what are supposed to be the two gut punch scenes. One is Aunt May's death. The scene is wonderfully well acted by both Tom and Marissa and certainly Marissa Tomei gets the most to do in this film compared to the previous two films. The problem is that the film's haven't done a really good job giving May much depth beyond being a kooky, fun aunt. So that relationship doesn't quite have the same depth that previous Peter-May relationships have so that emotional gut punch is not quite as hard as it probably should have been. Secondly, the ending where MJ and Ned forget Peter is also supposed to be an emotional gut punch. However, my issue there is that the MJ and Peter relationship really only felt like a cutesy teen romance until this movie. This film does an excellent job with the relationship but it feels like that romance escalated really fast and we are supposed to feel that these are star crossed lovers, but that feeling isn't quite there because the previous two movies haven't quite earned it. The Peter-Ned relationship is the one that feels the most developed so that is actually the portion that hits hardest.

Also, there are definitely a few convenient developments. Ned able to do magic that took Strange ages to master is definitely something that got my eye rolling. Peter beating Doctor Strange in a fight was also not believable. They didn't really give any explanation as to why Peter's body was still moving when Strange separated him from his physical body. Also, I am not very clear over how the final spell works. People forgetting Peter exists can't mean that Peter's existence has been wiped. He must still have a record of going to school etc... That part wasn't very clear to me. Also, the Venom mid credit scene was a bit disappointing. The whole thing being just a troll move to just bring the symbiote into this universe is a bit underwhelming. Especially given this film already has dealt with Peter having to deal with his rage. I'm not keen on a black suit Spider-man arc in the MCU. Also, anyone else confused on what Sony is doing right now? Morbius seems to exist in the same universe as Venom who is conclusively from a different universe, but also has Keaton who looks like he's playing the same character in the MCU. So that is definitely a little confusing. In addition, I am curious as to the implication of trouble for Stark Industries. I mean, Tony was incredibly irresponsible, giving a 16 year old the charge of such a dangerous weapons system. I'm curious what the status of EDITH is. I think I saw Peter had the glasses somewhere. But that was before the memory reset.

The film has made a big swing at a giant reset for Spider-man in the MCU. In a way, the Home trilogy has been one big origin story where Peter matures. I assume that the massive ramifications for the end of this film will force that maturation. Up till now, one of the issues with the MCU Peter is that he hasn't really matured. Despite what he goes through in Homecoming, in Infinity War/Endgame, and in Far From Home, he still was making immature decisions. I would hope that we take a bit of a break from Spider-man and we get a more mature Spider-man whenever the next MCU Spider-man movie happens.

The performances in this film are all amazing across the board. Tom Holland definitely gives his best performance in the role. He's fantastic. Whether be it in his emotional scenes like in May's death, or in his romantic scenes with MJ, or his little brother dynamic with the Spideys, he's at the top of his game and the film never loses sight of the fact that this is his film. Zendaya also does her best work in the role. She and Tom are genuinely sweet together which makes me think that they should have skipped the Liz Allen romance from Homecoming and started the romance from the beginning so the relationship felt a bit more developed. Jacob Batalon continues to be a highlight. I love that Ned has continued to be a substantial character in these movies and there are some fun nods to his comics connections. Marisa Tomei definitely gets her meatiest role in the series so far and she is lovely. JK Simmons as J Jonah Jameson is a treasure who cannot be recast. I hope we see more of him. Benedict Cumberbatch is terrific as Doctor Strange. His curmudgeon like dynamic with Peter and his friends is delightful, but also there is an undercurrent of softness, particularly by the end of the movie between him and Peter. Benedict Wong and Charlie Cox make welcome cameos. Jamie Foxx gets a bit of a redemption and he's definitely not as cartoonish as he was in TASM2. Thomas Hayden Church and Rhys Ifans are presumably at least voicing the characters. I am not sure if they physically appeared or not or if the footage was used from previous films. They are a bit wasted but its nice to have them back. Alfred Molina is lovely as Doc Ock. He is used for humor reasons but I like that the film doesn't undo his redemption arc. His scene with Tobey is lovely. Speaking of, Tobey Maguire is also lovely to have back. I would say he doesn't have as much emotional weight in his role because his Peter seems to have his life sorter. So he acts kind of as an older brother/mentor to Garfield and Holland Spider-man. He does have a few strong scenes like his scene with Molina, when he talks about Uncle Ben, and when he prevents Holland's Peter from killing Goblin. The scenes where the Spider-man talk about his organic web shooters is also a lot of fun. Also, have to mention Jon Favreau as Happy who is again wonderful in his role as Happy Hogan.

The two guys who are the scene stealers in my book are Willem Dafoe and Andrew Garfield. Willem Dafoe is outstanding in this movie. He might have been even better here than he was in Spider-man (2002). Whereas he was hamming it up to great effect in that movie, on purpose due to the tone of the Raimi films, here he has a more grounded menace to him. I love the decision to discard the mask and just make use of the classic purple jacket with the green armor and just use Dafoe's face to convey the Goblin because that's just how good he is. The other highlight is Garfield who steals every scene he is in. He is effortlessly charismatic, reminding me why I was a fan of him in the role. It feels like he is overjoyed at being back and he delivers both the humor as well as a lot of emotion in scenes. The scene where he talks about Gwen and her loss is heartbreaking. Also, him saving MJ is one of those crown pleasing moments but also an emotional moment. The film really does a lot with his Spidey in just a handful of scenes because he gets some genuine character development. The brother dynamic between him, Tobey, and Tom is wonderful. I don't know if it will ever happen, but I would love to see them together in another movie. I doubt it but I would love it.

Overall, this film is a blast. Is it the best MCU movie. No. But it might be the best Spider-man movie. I don't think its quite as cohesive as Homecoming but it gets the Spider-man character so right and its such a love letter to the character as a whole. Its definitely one to watch a few times. Jon Watts has been excellent as the director to this franchise and I look forward to his Fantastic Four as a result. The score could go up or down, but right now, this ranks at a 8.5/10

Edit: Forgot to mention, but the Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness teaser in the post credits scene looks pretty awesome. Kind of cool that What If? is tying into the live action films.

[engekihaikyuu]

View from the Top 2 - Review

Check out the Read More if you’d like to hear about this show!  Askbox is open as well if you’d like me to elaborate on anything out of this.

Before I begin my review of the final show, I do want to start with some caveats:

So as I mentioned previously, the production once again went with PIA for their live streaming platform, which means that live streaming this show is very inaccessible for anyone living outside of Japan.

PIA is a ticketing platform that requires a working Japanese phone number in order to finish activating/registering a new account because you must call the number provided to finish account verification. So without a Japanese contact or a Japanese phone number, this platform is basically impossible.

I have a generous friend in Japan who was willing to share her account information with me, which is how I was able to pay for a show and use her log-in to watch the stream. I did not see this show in-person; I do not live in Japan and obviously travel is off-limits. Even if I did live in Japan, I would have qualms about going to the theater.

There are some logistical issues with this show because of the current pandemic, with the most visually obvious one being the small face shields the actors wear on-stage. They basically serve as protection against direct spittle, but obviously they do nothing to guard against aerosol spread; putting on the play is still an incredible risk to the performers and staff. Another difficulty they face is the fact that Tokyo is still continuing to maintain a nightly curfew. Every evening Tokyo performance needed to be bumped earlier so that spectators can leave the theater in time to make it home for that curfew. Keeping that in mind, the show is a surprisingly condensed 2.5 hours long, where I would have expected 3 hours given the amount of content it covered. This does affect the pacing in Act 2 noticeably, and I get the feeling that were it not for covid and the current curfew restrictions, it would feel a little less rushed at the end.

So, with all that said, here are my thoughts on Engeki Haikyuu’s final play, The View from the Top 2!!!  This is absolutely not spoiler-free, for both the play’s content and everything that happened in the manga finale, so if you have not finished the series, this is your last chance to turn back.

Now that I think about it, I haven’t written a full review on a show since Fly High, so I’m a bit rusty at this, and I’ll probably leave out a lot so as always, my askbox is open for people’s additional questions!

The absolute main theme of this play (and really of the entire Haikyuu story) is the friendship and rivalry between Hinata and Kageyama, and the theme: I’m not alone. Engeki really did right by our dual protagonists by framing the final show as showing both of their journeys from beginning to end. Act 1 begins with that familiar sequence from the very first show: Hinata seeing the little giant on TV, being inspired to start playing volleyball, his struggle to find a team in middle school, losing to Kageyama in his one and only middle school tournament, and finding him again at Karasuno. They repeated the scene almost exactly as it was in the first show, and I think it was very smart of them to show us Daigo’s version of it, so to speak. That way we have a more cohesive vision of Hinata from the beginning of his journey to the end. Then they absolutely FLOOD the stage with a montage of projections with footage from all of the shows from the past five-and-a-half years. So already it’s pretty emotional for me, seeing how far the play had come as well as how far Hinata had come in the story.

To parallel this, the beginning of Act 2 actually begins with baby Kageyama. Yes, the baby Kageyama flashback with his sister and grandfather and how he started volleyball. We see Kageyama’s volleyball journey from childhood (for this they used a small doll similar to the dolls they used for young Kuroo and Kenma from Revival) to playing at Kitagawa Daiichi, to losing his grandfather, to being labeled the King of the Court, to defeating Hinata, and then having Hinata find him at Karasuno. And then they once again, they flood the stage with projections with past show footage, but this time they are more Kageyama-centric in the way that the previous ones were often Hinata-centric. And it just really highlights how much these two are meant to share the stage as the two main characters.

To see this framework and to know what’s going to come at the end, with the two of them reuniting in the pro-volleyball arena… just the beginning of Act 2 alone had me in tears. Another way they paralleled their respective journeys was to show us who have influenced them. In Act 1, there’s a dance with Hinata, Hoshiumi, and Udai (all little giants… well, Tsukishima’s in there too because he’s feeling a particular competitiveness with Hinata in this part of the match). In Act 2, there’s a dance with Kageyama, Atsumu, and Oikawa, because Atsumu and Oikawa are the setters who have had the most influence on Kageyama, and he’s drawing on what he’s learned from them for this match. They are not alone in their journeys, they have had people inspire them and be inspired by them in addition to having the support of their teammates.

The Karasuno vs Kamomedai match is interspersed with bits of action from the Fukurodani vs Mujinazaka match, so the stage was pretty busy for basically the entire time. The wires are back for some sequences so that both Hinata and Hoshiumi have a chance to fly, and there are plenty of acrobatics and lifts, and the same incredible soundtrack we love. Ryuu’s Hoshiumi is the obvious standout on Kamomedai for how many lifts he had, and they definitely tried to have him running around on the stage about as much as Hinata. It was notable how much they drew on past techniques and music for various parts of this match, since this is meant to be Karasuno at their peak. When Asahi was feeling particularly stuck/trapped against Kamomedai’s defense, they incorporated the tying-up visual they had previously used in Winners and Losers, with Kamomedai basically tying up and holding Asahi in place with ribbon. There was Summer of Evolution music when Karasuno does a great synchro attack, and the extras-wearing-Hinata-masks reappeared to show us Hinata’s “afterimage” as he flashes around the stage. If you’ve seen all the plays, you can’t miss these call-backs.

The flow of the match was fast. They hit the highlight plays and the highlight emotional moments, but we are clearly past the point where they need to narrate the actual volleyball to us. There was more dancing/acrobatics than attempting to place the two teams on either sides of a physical net with more overt volleyball moves. Everything was more intertwined and fluid than that. And actually now that I think about it, they have been sparse with their usage of a physical net in the past few shows, because everything has been a little more fast-paced overall.

They definitely wanted to highlight Karasuno’s rise throughout the game, to show that they were absolutely a formidable team, that they deserved to be at Nationals, and to show us all the ways that Hinata and Kageyama had grown. For most of Act 2 leading up to Hinata’s collapse, it really feels like they could win this. And I think it makes it that much harder for Hinata to accept being benched, because the team is riding this high and doing so well, and even Kageyama’s more visibly having fun. I think Takeda-sensei easily has a third of the best lines in the series. His speech to Hinata during the Kamomedai match is one that was really gut-wrenching to read when those chapters came out, and it was great to hear it said aloud.

And here is something I’ve never been able to point out because I didn’t do reviews for the past two tours, but I think Daigo’s voice is one of the strongest aspects of his Hinata. I’m sure a lot of that has to do with the work he’s done as a voice actor, but when he cries or whimpers, it is genuinely the most pitiful noise. A lot of Kenta’s portrayal of Hinata’s frustrations throughout the story had an undercurrent of anger and frustration. He’s upset, but there’s always something behind it that says, “well next time, it’ll be different.” And I think Daigo replaces most of that with pure sadness, especially for this scene. After Takeda-sensei lectures him good and proper, and he accepts that he needs to leave, he just sounds so broken. It doesn’t have that anger and drive underneath, he’s just in despair. And why wouldn’t he be? A part of him understands this is the last match he’ll ever play with this team, his first real team.

We then see Hinata bundled up in a coat and scarf, watching the rest of the match from the tablet that Kenma gives him. Snow begins to fall on the stage as he slowly wanders through it, with Karasuno and Kamomedai finishing out the rest of the match around him. Engeki Haikyuu has always allowed for the losing team in a match to line up at the edge of the stage, say thank you to the audience, bow, and take their leave. It’s so symbolic, and it’s so emotional for the actors and for the audience who are in the theater. It’s a moment that just barely breaks the fourth wall, when they turn to us, the spectators, to say, “Thank you for your support.” And they mean it both in and out of character. And I was so so so sad when I realized that Karasuno would take their final bow as a team without Hinata in the lineup. He’s in the back of the stage, separated from his team, and he does take a bow, but it’s very lonely.

Now, I’m sure people are very curious about the timeskip material, and mostly I just have to preface with: it’s fast. It does not take up as much of Act 2 as you might think. It’s boom, boom, boom, cameo here, pre-recorded projections there, patissier Tendou interview, Kuroo in a suit doing a promotional commercial for the V-League, Kageyama’s curry commercial, a projected Osamu selling his rice balls, get the old team together, fateful encounters in front of the bathroom, GO! The only thing we see of the Brazil arc is Hinata having a brief flashback to tell Kageyama that he met Oikawa while he was in Brazil. It’s very short, and that’s all we get for his time in Brazil. Basically, the play is not the place to see Hinata’s journey and growth from those chapters because he goes through so much of it alone, and there’s just no time. The Brazil arc also brings back a lot of technical details about volleyball itself, especially as Hinata is learning the beach version, and that’s an area where the manga is the best medium to examine the finer details of the sport. I can see why a play version would gloss over the technical details to focus on the emotional arc, which is in this case, Hinata and Kageyama.

Because of how fast the ending is, it definitely feels made for the people who already read the manga; Previous Engeki Haikyuu shows have always presented the story in a way that was very friendly to those who may not have read the manga or watched the anime. You could watch just Engeki Haikyuu and not feel like you were missing out on references/jokes for the most part, but this ending would be way harder to follow for those not familiar with what’s already happened.  

It’s difficult because I do feel like Act 2 was overly condensed to wrap up this story, but I also don’t think the timeskip material is enough for a whole play on its own. If we had stopped at the end of the Kamomedai match, and had a whole separate play to cover Brazil and the Jackals vs Adlers match… the pacing would’ve been slow and low energy especially in the first half, and it would be an odd choice for the final show of a series like this. My preference would have been for this play to have been three acts, three hours, so that we could linger on some of those timeskip moments a little more, slow it down, and let them land emotionally. But clearly the covid situation prevents that in this case. That being said, I don’t think any of those timeskip moments could really hit as hard as when I first read them in the manga. Narratively, that Haikyuu timeskip was so unexpected and so outside the normal sports anime formula, that the initial shock is extremely hard to top. It was fun to see how they presented everyone in the future (seeing Noya on that boat catching a giant swordfish, or seeing Ennoshita almost break a patient’s back) in stage form, but it’s unreasonable to expect them to give us the same feeling of ?!?!?!? when we first read that Noya was in Italy of all places after waiting weeks and weeks for him to show up.

I still cried in several places, it’s still a great ending to one of the best 2.5D franchises in existence, and it still feels like the culmination of their legacy. I don’t know how it would be possible for anyone to watch that ending sequence with all of the team flags and the chanting of their names, and NOT cry.

There are no more live streams until they complete the rest of their tour and then there will be a live-stream of the very last show, which I will be watching with a towel in hand for my tears. Feel free to send in any questions if you’d like, and if you would like some Strongest Challengers or Trash Heap merch, I have a sales post that I recently made.

[temilyrights]

mother in hell

Summary: Jack Sloane x Reader. Your Mother comes to visit NCIS. The fallout is simultaneously what you expected and also everything but.

A/N: I've been working on this on and off for about a month? The ending is a little rushed and definitely less than perfect, but It's been nearly a month since I updated and I really wanted to give you something as for the next couple of months I'm definitely not going to be as active. I didn’t do a final read-through of this so apologies in advance. As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated :) Enjoy!

TW: Asshole mother, mild homophobia if you squint, and anxiety.

Read on AO3

“So, what did you think?” You ask cautiously, feet shifting beneath you as you try to keep the hope simmering in your chest from taking over.

Today had gone a lot better than you expected. Your mother had been almost charming? kind? You weren’t really sure how to describe it, but it was a complete one-eighty to what you were used to. You’d already been prepared for the worst when she had stepped off the elevator and the first words that left her lips were “Orange walls...How very bold.” Her mouth curled in clear disgust. However, apart from a couple of jabs in your direction (‘Really Y/N, that’s what you wear to work? No wonder you’re still single.’) your mother had seemed absolutely smitten with the team. Gibbs and Tim especially (and god, you never wanted to see your mother flirting with Gibbs ever again).  

“Agent Gibbs is lovely of course, and that Agent McGee is very smart. Did he mention he was married? If so that’s such a shame because I really do think the two of you-”

“He’s married.” You squirm, barely stopping your shiver of disgust as your eyes dart around to make sure none of the passing agents were listening. The last thing you needed was a rumour that you had a thing for Tim. No one seems to be paying you two any attention, so you return your focus to your mother, grateful for the semi-privacy being underneath the stairs had provided you. “So, you finally approve? You’re okay with my job?” You ask, not being able to resist the hope any longer.

“Oh god no.” She laughs, and your heart drops. Your smile instantly gone, as disappointment aches strongly in your chest. You really should be used to this by now. “I seriously think it’s time you stop running around playing action hero and get a proper job-”

You sigh, “This is a proper job.”

Your mother continues talking like she hasn’t heard you; “-Arthur is still looking for someone to fill that management position. You’d be perfect and the hours would be much more reasonable. You’d finally have time to start dating again, eventually settle down and have a family. It’s time, don’t you think? You’re getting too old for this.”

“But I’m happy where I am. Arthur’s business is dull, and I’d hate every second of working there. I love what I do, and I love the people I work with too.”

“Yes, that was very clear.” Your mother sniffs with distaste, her reproachful look enough to make you tense.  

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I noticed the way you were looking at that other woman. It’s completely inappropriate really, she’s got to be at least fifteen years older than you.” Your mouth drops open, cheeks flaming red. You quickly scan the space around to make sure she was nowhere to be seen.  “And anyway, she’s much too pretty for you. Didn’t she say she was a psychologist? A much more suitable job. But, oh there’s absolutely no way the two of you could be anything. Her and Gibbs on the other hand, now that would be a beautiful couple.”

“Gibbs is like fifteen years older than Jack.” You mumble petulantly, cheeks burning bright with humiliation. You hadn’t expected your mother to pick up on your feelings for Jack, you’d been doing everything to ignore them yourself. Of course, she would though, and now she was going to find every insecurity you had and use it to prove exactly why you were so goddamn unlovable.

“Yes, but it’s a completely different situation really. This explains why you’ve been avoiding the dates I went through the hard work to set up for you. It’s awfully hard to sell your job to people Y/N, men don’t want a woman that isn’t interested in settling down. Anyway, this is the perfect time for you to start dating. Get you off the ridiculous notion of a relationship with that woman. Now, it might take some convincing, but Ben, you remember Ben, right? well, he’s newly single and I think the two of you could totally hit it off.”

“Mum, I really don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m fine, I don’t-”

“Y/N, darling, you need to let that woman go. Don’t get offended, you are much too sensitive, and you know I only mean this in the best way possible, but this Jacqueline is really much too good for you. Now, maybe if you improve your wardrobe, and go to that hairdresser I’ve been recommending because honestly darling you’re looking a little drab.” Tears begin to ghost your eyes, but you make sure to hold them back as your mother stabs you with her words. “I always say the nurses must have swapped you at birth because there’s just no way any daughter of mine would leave the house looking like that. Your attempt at hiding those ugly dark circles under your eyes is dismal. Maybe if you just put more effort into your appearance then you’d stand a chance with Jacqueline, although then there’s the task of your personality because let us be honest, you are a little boring. You need to work on that, and then we could start on you being less guarded because how do you expect to find anyone if you don’t trust them. Honestly, Y/N, you are exhausting at times-”

“Hey! Don’t speak to her like that.” Your head snaps around to a very heated Jack who’s glaring daggers at your mother. Your cheeks burn even brighter with humiliation, and god, you’ve never wanted to disappear so much in your life.

“This is a private conversation, dear.” Your mother smiles, politeness not enough to hide her calculating gaze.

“That you’re having in a very public place. And for the record, I happen to think Y/N is pretty extraordinary.” Jack sends you a soft smile, and you know it’s meant to be comforting but it just makes everything so much worse because all you can think about is how your mother is going to make the next year of your life hell for this.

“Jack. It’s fine-”

“Y/N, shush,” your mother cuts you off, not even sparing you a glance as she glares at Jack. Your mouth clicks shut, and Jack sends you a look filled equally with concern and bewilderment which you have to quickly look away from. “Agent Sloane, was it?” She continues without waiting for a response. “You have somehow convinced my daughter that you care for her, adorable really, but I won’t have her gallivanting around after you. It’s fine time she settled down and started a family.”

Jack laughs. “Did we teleport back to the 1960s when I wasn’t looking? A woman can have goals other than getting married and having 2.5 children.”

“Spoken like a woman who’s spent her whole life alone. I’m assuming you’re not a mother?” Jack’s whole-body tenses. You still can’t look at her. Can’t stand to see her hurt, and no doubt a newfound hatred for you. You needed to get your mother as far away from Jack, and the Navy Yard, as quickly as possible.

“Mum. That’s enough.” Your voice is weaker than you’d like it to be, and your mother looks very unimpressed. “It’s time for you to go home.”

She laughs. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Come on, we’ll finish this conversation later. I’ve got to get back to work anyway.”

“Fine.” She huffs, “but you are to meet Arthur for that interview.”

“Mum, I told you-”

“Y/N, this isn’t open for discussion.”

“Okay,” you sigh, head dropping with resignation “okay, fine.” From the corner of your eyes, you can see the incredulous look Jack is sending you, but you don’t dare turn your head. You wouldn’t take the job, there was no way, but you needed this all to be over. You needed to go home and pretend this day never happened.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Jack-” you sigh, but she just continues.

“No!” And now the passing agents were paying attention to your group. Your body shrinks in on itself, as your tears grow dangerously close to breaking free. Jack doesn’t notice, too consumed with her anger that’s completely directed at your mother. “You don’t get to tell her what to do. Y/N is a phenomenal agent. Her contribution to this team is crucial. She’s smart, compassionate, and beautiful. And, in spite of being brought up by you, is one of the kindest people I know. So, don’t you dare come in here and tell her she’s drab or boring or not good enough. You are a jealous, bitter old woman who brings your daughter down to make yourself feel better because you know you’ll never be as good as her.” Your mother's mouth drops open, cheeks flamed in humiliation. And if it weren’t for the fact your whole body was itching to run away, you’d have probably been captivated by the way Jack was defending you. “I suggest you leave, or I’ll have you dragged out by security.”

Your mother clicks her tongue, fingers tightening on her bag as she tries to keep herself composed. “Fine. Y/N, we will talk later.” And with one final reproachful look, she turns and walks away.

The other agents are all still watching you, faces contorted with either surprise or pity. Jack deflates, but you’re focused on Ellie, who’s standing just in your eye line, face full of sympathy, and the urge to throw up suddenly hits you.

“Hey,” Jack speaks softly, hand lighting brushing your forearm, and jolting you out of your eye contact with Ellie. Jack’s face is filled with concern, brows furrowed slightly in obvious confusion.

Swallowing roughly, you take a step away. “You shouldn’t have done that. I had it handled.” Your eyes flick back to the agents, most have now walked away but some were still looking with subtle interest. This was going to be the talk of the office for the next week. You needed to get the hell out of here.

The elevator dings, and you quickly jump into action, ducking your head to avoid watchful eyes as you briskly walk away.

“You had it handled?” Jack scoffs, falling in step beside you. You enter the elevator, and Jack follows, shooting a glare at the only other occupant in there who hastily exits. “She was berating you and you weren’t even trying to defend yourself!”

You sigh, hitting the button for Kasie’s lab, the best place to hide out for a while. “It was fine.” You lean against the wall of the elevator as it starts up and finally look back at Jack with a shrug. “It’s easier that way because now she’s going to mention this whole incident to everyone she knows, painting you as a villain, me as a coward, and her as the victim. I’m going to have to spend the next few months trying to do damage control.”

“I don’t care what she thinks or says about me,” Jack says, leaning over to flick the switch and bring the elevator to a standstill.

Sighing, you push yourself off the wall and make your way to the opposite side to put some space between the two of you, “Good for you, Jack, but I do.”

“Why? Because it’ll affect your new job opportunity?”

You roll your eyes. “Really? I’m not gonna take that stupid job. I meant what I said, I love it here.”

“Then why agree to an interview?”

“Because I needed her far away from you, and the Navy Yard and agreeing to the interview was the quickest way of making that happen.” You sigh, “Look, I appreciate what you were trying to do but I can fight my own battles and this one just wasn’t worth it.”

You catch Jack’s face contorting with pain before she can completely turn away. “Oh, okay. Good to know.” She flicks the switch, jolting the elevator back into action.

“Wait, Jack. I didn’t mean it like that.” You panic, quickly rushing to halt the elevator again. “I just meant,” you take a deep breath, blowing away your emotions before meeting Jack’s sad eyes. “What she said about me...it wasn’t completely off base. There was truth in it so there wasn’t any point in fighting her.”

Jack’s brows shoot up in disbelief, “Where was the truth? Because all I heard were cruel lies.”

“Jack,” You sigh, chuckling sadly as the tears you’d thought you’d warded off threaten to break free again. “Come on, She’s right. You’re too good for me. You’re this amazing, beautiful, talented woman and I’m just, well, me. And this isn’t some weird thing where I am looking for your pity or whatever. It’s fine, my mother was right-”

“Stop.”

“Jack, seriously, it’s fine-”

“No. Stop it.” Jack’s in front of you, invading your space in two steps.

“I-” You don’t get the chance to finish your sentence as Jack’s lips slam hard against yours. Your brain doesn’t fully comprehend what’s happening until she starts to pull away, the loss of her lips is what starts you back into action. You follow after them, capturing them with the same passion she had before she can form any words. Jack’s hand tightens in your hair as yours run down her arms before landing at her waist and pulling her closer into you.

“She was wrong,” Jack says between kisses “about everything.” You nod distractedly, your sole attention focused on her, on her mouth. You can’t quite believe this is happening.

You eventually separate, forehead’s rest against each other as your breath mixes together. Your thrashing heart begins to calm. Jack tucks a wayward strand of hair behind your ear, her fingers brushing your cheek before she steps back slightly. She speaks quietly, brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t understand why she’s still in your life. She makes you miserable.”

Shrugging, you sigh, not able to hold her eyes. “She’s my only family,” You don’t mention that the only reason that’s the case is that the rest of your family had cut your mother off years ago, and so, by extension you too. You swallow roughly, “And, I don’t want to be alone.”

Jack shakes her head, bringing a finger to your chin to guide you back to look at her, sadness shines bright in her eyes. “You aren’t alone. You have us, the team, we’re your family.”

“It’s different.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, it just is.” You sigh, stepping back from Jack’s grip. You miss the contact instantly. “My mother may be...difficult,”

“Y/N, your mother isn’t just difficult, she’s horrible. Cruel. She can’t say those things to you!”

“And I can’t just cut her off! I can take the things she says about me, really, I’m used to them.”

“That’s not normal. You know that’s not normal, right? The only time you really stood up out there was when she said those things to me-”

“I’m so sorry about that.” You hastily cut in, grabbing her hand, eyes pleading for her to believe you. “She had absolutely no right.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jack says softly, squeezing your hand back to ensure you it’s okay. “You deserve better than her. I’m not saying cut her off, I know that’s difficult, just think about setting some boundaries.” Jack definitely wants to tell you to cut her off, that if she had it her way the woman would never again come within ten feet of you. She couldn’t believe how quickly you drew in on yourself when your mother had started talking. If anyone else had tried that...well, you wouldn’t have even given them the opportunity to.

“I’ll think about it,” Jack looks at you like she doesn’t believe you. “I promise. I know things can’t stay the same.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” You nod, relief washing through you as you relax for the first time that day. Your eyes fall to your hand, still entangled with Jack’s and you can’t control the smile that tugs at your lips. “Guess my mother being here today did have one positive effect.”

She chuckles, rolling her eyes. “Guess so, although my plan to just ask you out for dinner would have been a lot less emotional.”

A grin takes over your face. “You were going to ask me out?”

“Actually, I still intend to. How about dinner, tonight?”

“I’d like that.”

“Okay then, it’s a date.” Jack leans in to press a kiss to your cheek but you turn your head at the last minute and capture her lips softly. Jack smiles but doesn’t pull away as her hand comes to stroke your cheek.

When you finally break apart, you’re a little breathless. “I’ll pick you up at seven.” She says, and you can only nod in agreement with a dorky smile. Jack looks at her watch, her own smile dropping slightly as she sighs. “We should probably get back to work.”

“Yeah…” You sigh, but you don’t make an attempt to move and neither does Jack. You don’t want this small moment of peace to end. The second you step out of the elevator there will be casework, and looks, and gossip.

“It’ll be okay. By tomorrow this will all be old news.” A smile tugs at your lips at her ability to always know where your mind has gone, and you nod.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s do this.” Jack squeezes your hand one last time before dropping it and hitting the switch. You take a steadying breath as the elevator descends, focusing on the comfort of Jack standing next to you, and the excitement of the date tonight instead of the anxiety rushing through you.

“Relax.” Jack soothes, kissing your cheek. The elevator stops, doors opening, and she winks as she steps off. “I’ll see you at seven.”

“See you at seven.” You nod, watching her walk away. The second she leaves your eye line, you fall back into the elevator wall, no longer able to keep the wide smile from your face.

A date.

You were going on a date with Jacqueline Sloane.

[rigelmejo]

6/28 I DID A LOT

WOOH

WOOH

I talked in chinese today! For around a half hour!! AHHHHHHHH

ANYWAY

AHHHHHHH

IM SO HAPPY I WAS UNDERSTANDABLE AHHGGHGSIUSJAJEJDJEEJIE

So first of all I practiced with Google translate today beforehand (lol yes machine translate isn’t perfect). I clicked the app, clicked transcribe, spoke in chinese then saw if the English translation it was producing was close enough to what I was trying to mean to say. (Also I learned chinese transcribe will need to process for a few moments if you play Chinese audio like from a podcast because at first it will give you a sucky transcription lol and then correct itself). Anyway so I did that and quickly learned: Google translate WILL fucking think I am speaking sentences when I’ve only said a couple words of my sentence because I pause “too long” so when I tried thinking of tones or grammar I spoke too fucking slow for the app so BAM I had to speak faster for the app just to comprehend me. So I did not practice Thinking about how the fuck to say things right much, just how to recall words on a fucking speed time limit lol. So uh that was an experience. I’ll definitely say that my 学习普通话 app is way better for me actually practicing pronunciation with any success, because Google just will NOT tolerate me speaking slowly goddamn.

Anyway so then tonight I spoke with my language partner. Well

WELL

good news: I was understood, I was told I sound pretty standard and they can tell I maybe imitate some peoples phrases and words from shows I watch (which in this case is a compliment since they said weeks ago when I asked how they improved their standard mandarin accent for a speech competition that’s what They did and the kind of shadowing they suggested I try doing more for accent work).

My grammar and word choice was understandable (I KNOW I wasn’t perfect and there were fucking mistakes Especially just notable spots where I forgot common words and tried to talk Circles around those words to describe them since I know Enough words to kind of “explain around” and come up with a more word description of a simple word I forgot sometimes but fuck is it probably awkward to listen to. Like I forgot “back then/at that time” so I said “the time when I was in high school” or “in high school I..” just because I couldn’t say “that time” on the spot, also fucking I forgot how to say “also” and “or” in certain ways and just had to figure out a different way to make my point like “this is like that” or “not the same” ToT).

Anyway regardless it’s a real big accomplishment to me. Reasons being: 1. I’ve never talked in chinese that long straight or to someone else communicating, or telling stories about my life and asking questions and actually testing my fucking communication abilities past small talk. Even talking alone to myself it’s just phrases or small situations where if I forget a word I just stop, so this was huge for me. 2. I did not have time to think about tones period while talking today with my language partner so like being comprehensible is!!!! GREAT. Considering I tried speaking to a language partner simple common word tone pair examples or very simple small talk at 5 months into learning and remember being incomprehensible like 50% of the time. Versus me now a little under 2 years in so being able to simply not be constantly thinking about tones and still know I might be understood (and in this specific case was understood) is nice to know. 3. I did better at winging vocabulary and talking my way around words I didn’t know than i thought I could. 4. REALLY simply tone and grammar being comprehensible is blowing my mind on its own - I know there were many mistakes (I personally could hear my 3rd tone not always sounding right to my own ear, and know I heard a few grammar mistakes I heard after I’d made my point lol). But just being comprehensible enough for someone understand my points even if I made those mistakes was really cool. 5. I’m hoping this means all the things I’ve been doing lately: the Listening Reading, the watching shows with English subs this month while repeating some of the Chinese lines to myself, listening to audiobooks and repeating many of the lines to myself, and the weekly language exchange I’ve been doing, have all been helping to some degree. Improving production skills is not something I’ve tried studying before and so basically all that I’m doing is flailing around trying stuff and hoping something is useful. It’s nice to see something must be if I’ve managed this.

Anyway it was just very very cool to be understandable. ;-; At this time last year I was absolutely assuming it would take years to get even a little understandable. Also for now idk this proved to me to maybe just stick to shadowing for a while and Not specifically thinking of tones While actively speaking. For a while I thought of them actively which made me clearer and I think was important and helped, at this point currently I think sometimes i overthink and trying to speak from memory/more shadowing practice might help it become a bit more automatic? And then I can go back to some corrective work where I’m messing up specifically or haven’t internalized certain words/phrases tones maybe.

—

IN OTHER NEWS

today I ALSO played 4 hours of Kingdom Hearts II in Japanese WHICH WAS AN EXPERIENCE

AN EXPERIENCE IVE NEVER HAD BEFORE LIKE FUCKING THIS

So 1. EONS easier than last time I studied Japanese. For context at 2-2.5 years into studying Japanese I played the opening of KH2. I remember it was brutal, I used my phone constantly to look up words, but I got through like the opening portion to the first save point after the haunted mansion (so like is that day 2? Basically what’s usually .5-1 hour of play or less that took me a few hours back then). It was doable, kinda brutal, but also I have kh2 near to my heart so I could play it without reading when I felt drained. Now?? I had over a year break from Japanese study (maybe 2-3 years break idk). I reviewed Japanese in I think March-April 2021 this year. April/May to June (now) I’ve been studying some new material. The biggest new material being some more Nukemarine memrise decks, and Clozemaster as of this month. So like... this Eons of improvement is after a long ass gap of no study, a cram review, and some just beyond last-times-progress kind of new study. It is a HUGE difference to me in how it feels.

I did not use a dictionary at all this time. I did not play slow either, I read at a speed much more bearable, I comprehended most sentences totally (understanding words because of a mix of knowing most words, knowing the context for the words since I know KH2 WELL, knowing Hanzi from chinese, and thanks to Clozemaster of all things feeling a lot better/quicker with Japanese grammar comprehension), and a few sentences I knew the overall gist because of recognizing the Hanzi (tho they were being used in words that aren’t similar to Chinese), the grammar overall (the rough intention of the sentence), and knowing KH2 well enough to remember the main idea of th English sentence. So it was overall a much more pleasant, easygoing experience this time around playing! It was something where I COULD play 50 hours of Japanese KH2 now.

This kind of showed me some things: first that knowing a basis in chinese (for me) makes a huge difference. Kanji now make words easier for me to learn and guess. I can now recognize when some pronunciations are somewhat similar to Chinese words. I can recognize when some kanji are used to mean Different things from Chinese (since I know the English context too). I can also now actually Like and Appreciate that KH2 specifically uses kanji in some speech bubbles and scenes then hiragana for the same words at other times - it gives me a chance to use context to see both versions of the word and learn both the pronunciation and kanji a bit more. Now I have katakana English like words and kanji (in the sense of their similarities to Hanzi) and my basic grammar grasp to rely on to parse sentences which makes all of it much easier. For me chinese was just easier, and that’s now paying off also in making Japanese easier in some ways than it was before.

I also appreciate now why “prior context” and “comprehensible input” are encouraged so much. My effort level is comfortable and NOT draining, so I could’ve kept my playing for hours and I did not need a dictionary for new words because I had TONS of context. Part of this is KH2 being a game I know super well (so even back at year 2 it was doable if draining when no other video game probably would’ve been doable at all). So it makes sense now it would be the first comfortable feeling one. It is VERY comprehensible input for me, especially now with some of the Japanese improvements I’ve made.

Whereas I tried to play crisis core a month ago (doable but DRAINING in part because I knew the game so comprehensible but I didn’t HAVE the game remembered by heart like KH2 so I had to slow down to read everything slowly and figure out words much slower with no prior meaning in my head for many parts), and persona 3 (which was doable but DRAINING in part because I have little prior context compared to cc or KH2 and in part because it has so much reading). Also KH2 is easier to read than cc or persona 3 - kh2 is obviously meant for age 10+ and so the amount of text I’m required to read is shorter, a lot of conversational stuff and not layered (cc had a lot of technical paragraphs of directions for missions and persona is aimed at older teens and has much more like “think about it more long term” conversations which I struggle more to parse). Also just persona 3 has so much dialogue I started speed reading just to get to a save point which felt Draining. Whereas KH2 the reading is comfortable so I don’t read too slow, and so it doesn’t feel as draining since it’s not slow nor do I have to rush at lower comprehension to get through it - I can just read and comprehend everything as much as I can at a reasonably non draining pace.

Also I DO think Clozemaster (so kudos to u app) is actually helping noticeably. I’m doing Clozemaster Japanese by common word tracks (still in the 100 most common words sentences and almost done). I’ve been doing listening mode and then reading sentences after. I can TELL it’s helped me already with the following. I’m doing better at recognizing some grammar structure particles/words/conjugations in various forms and levels of politeness. I now have much less issue telling how to separate sentences into word/grammar functions - it makes everything just much easier to start being able to segment my sentences as I read so I can just pinpoint WHAT parts I know versus don’t know and what their rough function is (and since in KH2 I know the English lines usually it makes it way easier to guess what words mean roughly what English translation). I also read some manga during this past month that’s also helped with this skill. I noticed Clozemaster also is just helping with it a lot since in Clozemaster the politeness level varies and stuff so I’m forced to practice guessing and figuring it out more with Clozemaster sentences over and over. The listening mode has helped because I can tell that some of the most common words I can hear more instinctively now and read aloud at a more normal pace now. I still CLEARLY read over listening when the subtitles in KH2 are there if I don’t know a word, so my listening has HUNDREDS or likely thousands of hours to go (my Chinese is much much better). But I can already notice the sheer fact Clozemaster listening question mode is forcing me to 1 HEAR Japanese more (and I need like what 2000 hours listening) and 2 start recognizing more easily at least recognizing words I’ve learned when I hear them (whereas before I would struggle to hear certain words even if I’d studied just because I’d read-studied a lot but not actually heard much of those words much). Now this all isn’t a huge help with new words in KH2 since I’m learning to read them from the game but my listening isn’t picking them up or Parsing them well. But as far as IN Clozemaster: yes the constant audio word drilling is helping me recognize words by sound which is great since thanks to Chinese kanji recognition is now not intensely difficult, it’s the sound recognition and match up to spelling that’s now the major confusion for me. I mean grammar is also confusing.. and will take years... I do think Clozemaster forcing me to practice interpreting the grammar somewhat with nothing to help me is helping me at least feel less drained by the grammar. I used Clozemaster before for french and chinese at the stage between graded readers and actual native speaker material, and I think for Japanese it’s also Good for this purpose. Clozemaster is good for a lot of immersion-like sentence reading practice, with tools to make it easier like a translation and mostly words you know in each sentence. Making it a bit easier than just diving into the deep end into a random novel. I do think it helps with preparing you for less learner-tailored materials a bit while still being easier than native speaker materials so you can practice without feeling youre drowning.

anyway ahh. WOOH I PLAYED KH2 in japanese today!!! I HAD FUN

gonna do it some more.

kh2 is maybe THE original reason i started trying to learn japanese. its really fun playing it now.

—-

And finally, while I’m at it: I am ALMOST done with the Sundial arc in Guardian Listening Reading wise. I’m on chapter 17. I have like 2 days left so who knows maybe I can manage to finish the sundial arc we’ll see.

What I mostly did this month was Redo L-R chapter 1-12 with a second audiobook, read the novel print version up to chapter 12, read chapter 1-2 in the traditional print version, also read maybe 4 chapters of other random things, listened to audiobook files of stuff overall idk 20+ times while repeating after a lot of lines, did a small amount of Clozemaster chinese (mostly just Radio mode), did 30 min - 1 hour writing or speaking language exchange sessions once a week, and watch a bunch of Chinese shows with English subs this month while repeating after a lot of lines.

As you can tell my reading Amount lowered significantly since the past couple months. However, I think I’ve pushed up my listening amounts a little.

[drjackandmissjo]

it’s nice to have a friend

previous chapter --- Chapter 2 --- next chapter

Feysand masterlist

Tiredness came crushing Feyre down like a boulder. It had been a long day, a long life, and she couldn't wait to get back into her dorm room, snuggle up in her bed and let the world disappear, even if just for a couple of hours. It was what she deserved, having let down everyone in her life with her stubbornness and uneasiness.

Despite the initial rush of relief and euphoria, everything else came rushing back into focus. The loneliness, the stress, the hunger.

Although she was the youngest of her family, she had been the only one willing to work. Her father couldn't move from the bed most days and her sisters were far too proud to get dirty hands in any situation that didn't require spending money, instead of gaining them. Feyre had managed to juggle great grades in all her AP classes in high school as well as two minimum wage jobs, one in a diner as a waitress and the other in a small arts & crafts shop. Since she had been 14, she was the only one bringing an income to the table, to make sure that they had food and a roof over their heads. Their father's small veteran pension didn't suffice anymore as soon as Nesta, her eldest sister, got into their city's most prestigious and expensive university, choosing an economics major, and money became even less when Elain, the second one, was accepted into the same university for their botanical department. Granted, they both managed to archive scholarships, Nesta with her stellar grades and Elain with a cheerleading position. But money had never been easy to begin with and even with those scholarships, Feyre still had to struggle to keep the family afloat.

Both sisters still lived into their childhood home with Feyre and their father, their mother long gone, but both claimed to be far too busy with schoolwork to help their sister economically. Feyre knew she shouldn't resent them, but every time either came to her asking for money for new expensive shoes or to go out with their friends, she couldn't do anything other than swallow the bile and give in to their demands, wondering when would come her turn to be a normal teenager and go out with her nonexistent friends.

When Feyre's time to leave high school came she was faced with a decision: community college, since she couldn't afford the one her sisters went to without selling both her kidneys and a lung, or move away to Velaris, to the other side of Prythian, where the art department offered her a full scholarship after having received her request of admission and a sample of the works she had created during high school. She would still need to work to pay her stay and maintain the nearly perfect grades she had in high school, but she knew she could do it.

As soon as the acceptance letter came alongside the papers for the scholarship, she sat both her sisters down. Nesta had started working in an office, putting in good money with a 9 to 6 routine, but Elain was still on her senior year. Fortunately for Feyre, her eldest sister seemed to understand the situation and all but kicked her out of the house as soon as September rolled around, paying herself for Elain's last year. Feyre didn't ask for anything, and neither sister gave anything.

During the summer Feyre worked still her two usual jobs and began studying for her freshman courses and her sophomores ones as well. She wanted to finish early and so she planned and rescheduled the credit units she had to take each year to be able to finish in 2.5/3 years instead of 4.

On September 1st she had packed her entire life into a couple of suitcases and kissed goodbye to her sisters as she boarded the train for a 12 hours ride to the other side of the country. A plane would've been quicker but also more expensive and she planned on saving the money, old habits dying hard.

" This feels just like leaving for Hogwarts" she had thought as the train began to move out of the station, her sisters still there to wave her goodbye one last time.

She had moved into a dorm room and began working at the library that same day, as soon as her badge began working. "Screw freshman week!" Feyre thought as she shelved books and checked them out for other students. She had heard rumors about what went down in that short period of time and it wasn't truly her cup of tea anyway.

Her roommate was a senior in fashion & merchandise named Alis, bronze skinned with long black curls that framed her face nicely. She helped Feyre settle in and brought her to a few sorority parties in the first month, dragging her despite the younger's complaints about wasted hours. Alis had laughed at that and simply replied "You don't wanna miss too much 'cause you're studying all the time, trust me."

She had met Tamlin at one of those parties. He was a sophomore and member of one of the fraternities around campus and began to hit on Feyre immediately, relentlessly. At first she was flattered, not used to guys giving her attention of any sort if it wasn't for exchanged coursework, but she still maintained herself cold and distant, not sure of how to fit him into her packed schedule. After a few months of incessant flirting, although she had brushed him off several times, she had finally caved in and they began dating. "I knew you'd come around!" he had claimed.

Their first months were incredible. He didn't bother her much nor demand too much time from her, letting her study and work. He filled her up with warmth and with him, for the first time in a long time, she didn't feel alone in the world anymore.

She enjoyed the time she spent with him, but then May came and Finals with it. Feyre couldn't move from the library, remaining there after her shift had ended and studying in one of the booths. She simply didn't have time for anything else. She had to keep all her grades up, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to remain at the university.

That was when things started to go downhill with Tamlin. They fought almost constantly due to his paranoia and her lack of availability, and yet he had chosen the worst possible moment to confess the depth of his feelings to her. They argued about her job at the library, how it was talking too much time from their relationship when it happened. Feyre felt like she was being gutted as he spoke the three words that she had never heard before in her life. "Why do you look like it's the worst thing you've ever heard?" he had demanded harshly when she hadn't replied immediately back. "Because it is" she wanted to say, but instead followed his lead, giving him empty words without meaning, because everything was better than the constant fights.

He became obsessive then, as if her void confession had flipped a switch inside of him, and demanded to know where she was almost every minute of the day.

Thankfully summer came and went, the two months a sweet reprieve as she went back home. She had ended all her compulsory freshman classes and half of the ones she was supposed to take during sophomore year and loosened a little, choosing to focus on making a little more money to be able to live comfortably in Velaris.

Then it was again September. Tamlin had picked her up from the train station and took her to a nice restaurant to make up for the ' lost time' without her during his summer in Europe. Feyre didn't particularly mind, but she also didn't like over the top romantic gestures as much as he did. Still, she kept quiet and enjoyed the nice evening, as he was back into his ' old' self, as he spoke of his travels and the people he had met and the food he had eaten. By the end of the night they didn't have much time to share how she had spent the summer working and being overall plain and boring, but she didn't mind that he hadn't asked, since she hadn't been particularly fond of telling him either.

A new school year meant a new roommate for Feyre, since Alis had graduated that summer, and whatever star was looking over her granted Feyre Morrigan.

Morrigan Gold was a beautiful soul. She was pre-law junior and had a constant real smile on her lips, her long golden hair cascading on her back in soft curls. Her tan skin and kind brown eyes gave her an aura of gentleness that very few possessed. She was truly Feyre's first real friend, not just someone to hang out with or to talk to, but someone she could see easily in her life still 50 years in the future, sipping tea and laughing on a porch, talking about everything and nothing.

"That's how you know someone's gonna stick" Mor had told her one night, coming back from Rita's, their usual club, "you imagine being old on a porch with them!" Feyre had laughed at that, claiming that she wasn't 100% sure of that reality since she couldn't imagine Tamlin ever sitting outside peacefully. That just earned her a pointed stare from the other girl, but neither commented and they changed the topic onto something easier as they stumbled back to their dorm room, completely wasted and happy. The next day brought a wicked hangover and Tamlin, pissed that she had gone out without him and that she had drunk, but Mor, bless her soul, didn't comment either. She just offered Feyre a shoulder to cry on and her comfort, swearing to cut off his balls at her command. The aspiring artist merely laughed at that through her tears, unsure of what she wanted to do herself.

But having Mor as a friend meant also that Feyre had been adopted into her Inner Circle.

Adopted by Amren Drake, the tiny terrifying senior that already had a job for the following year as an associate to teach Ancient Greek.

Adopted by Azriel Nox, Morrigan's adoptive cousins that learnt informatics and coding as if they were his mother tongue.

Adopted by Cassian Nox, Mor's other adoptive cousin that could cook a masterpiece and also ' kick some serious butt' at any given occasion.

And, finally, adopted by Rhysand Nox, Mor's actual cousin of blood. Rhys was an English major, a year older than Feyre, like everyone else in their little family. He was the type of person that one day, without a doubt, would win some prize for the things he wrote, but still had to master the art through higher education first. The only way to describe him was by calling him a 'dreamer who refused to settle into a grey reality'. He was an optimist and one of the most beautiful people Feyre had ever met, both inside and outside. Jet black hair, dark skin and a smile that could knock the socks off of a statue, he was also the most humble and down to earth guy in a mile radius. They had hit it off right away, with innocent platonic flirting and long serious talks. He knew she was with Tamlin and didn't push her boundaries. He saw the world the same way she did and she understood what he meant before he even said it.

Needless to say, when Tamlin found out who she was hanging with, he became even more paranoid than he already was. It wasn't only the fact that she hung out with males that weren't him to set him off. The thing that drove him ballistic was her closeness with Rhysand, his sworn one-sided enemy that had bested him in every class they had shared on their freshman year.

Her best and closest friend in the entire world.

She had been forced choose by Tamlin, before the Christmas break, between him and her friends, and choose to please her boyfriend and started to isolate herself little by little from her group of friends, afraid of what would have happened otherwise. After all, she had no one but Tamlin, right?

But as she came back from the free days spent at home with her sisters and father, she began to realize how lonely she was, how unhappy she had been lately. She had retorted back into her former self, into the girl that only thought about school and work, that didn't have time for friends.

Feyre decided to give their relationship more time, to wait till the finals were over and till everything was back to normal, but things never were normal to begin with.

And so, that cold February day, she cut it off in front of all her classmates and began to feel immediately better.

But now she was once again tired.

[hypnotica-ships]

Quite The Sting

Bit of a time skip. Some bonding with Holger involved. Not to mention Crow's first mission...that may turn out to be his last.

Phase 1: Part 6

Word Count: (About) 2,666

1//2//3//4//5//6//7//8//9

Months of hard training, and many infirmary visits later, Crow still can't get much headway with beating Holger. It's not due to lack of trying though, no, Holger is just making sure he keeps Crow on his toes. By this point they have a system: they fight, Holger explains to Crow what he's doing wrong and how to fix it, Crow listens to about half of that, and is forced to visit the infirmary yet again. Both are growing. In not only strength, but in friendship.

After being cleared by the nurse, for the 8th time this week, Crow heads back to his room. His mind swimming with the thought of how to perfect the new maneuver Holger taught him this time. It really hurt, and he wants to weaponize it himself.

"Maybe if I....move faster, then I could hit him harder? Yeah, that sounds right..."

Entering his room, he's greeted by the familiar emptiness he's grown accustomed to at this time of the day. Holger usually has a meeting with Guile to give updates about him and his unit after their daily combat training. Usually giving Crow some time to himself for a while. Not that he enjoys it though. He's grown somewhat close to his cold superior, and almost misses talking to him sometimes.

Suddenly, he hears the door open. Holger's back earlier than usual, must of been a short meeting. He seems to be carrying something.

"Back early I see, I hope it went well."

"We discussed some things, nothing too important, like always. Charlie and him had some duties to attend to though, so we had to cut it short. I did, however...convince him to let you join me and my unit on our next mission."

"WHAT?!? NO WAY! How did ya manage that? He seemed pretty stern on waiting till I got more practice in."

"I just told him what I've been observing with you. You've been improving and actually listening to my orders, for the most part. I told him that I thought you were ready, and I just hope that you're willing to prove me right."

"I...yeah, thanks Holger. I appreciate it."

"Here, you'll be needing this if you're going to be representing one of my men."

Holger holds out the item he carried in with him, presenting it honorably towards Crow. A black army vest. It's similar to the one Holger and his men wear, complete with the red scorpion insignia on the back. Crow takes it gently, in utter awe of it and what it represents.

"Holger...I-"

"Don't think much of it. You still need to prove to me that you are capable out on the field. Our enemies won't just be sending you to the infirmary if they get a hold of you. I'd...rather not have to drag you back in a body bag..."

"I understand. I just...thank you. For more than just the mission thing. You gave me a second chance, most people would of given up on someone like me. You pushed through though, I...won't forget that."

"...I wouldn't of taken a chance if I didn't think you could do it. Just...don't let me down."

"I'll give it my all...sir."

The weeks leading up to to the next mission were...tense. Crow, not wanting to let this chance go to waste, gave it his all in everything that his superior threw at him. All culminating to the mission briefing and preparation meeting. Crow watches patiently as Holger goes over everything. Trying his best to stay as focused as his fellow unit members, but his nerves are starting to get to him. Shaking his right leg in an attempt to help ease his mind.

"This is strictly a covert mission. No drawing attention to ourselves. No getting caught. We will be leaving at nightfall to have extra coverage. We're to go in, get the info, and get out. Am I clear?"

"Sir, yes sir!"

"The before mentioned info is located in secretary's safe in the middle of the base. We have to pass 3 rooms to reach it. Each door is heavily guarded by 4-6 men in each room. They change guard every 6 hours, which takes around 5 minutes each. They change one after the other, which gives us a small window to sneak through each room. If we miss any of those windows, we'll have to wait till the next change, wasting precious time. We will not be missing these windows. Am I clear?"

"Sir, yes sir!"

"Very well, grab your gear and we'll join at the helicopter waiting outside. Dismissed."

Crow's excited, yeah, but he's also worried about the consequences if he screws up. If they miss those windows, it'll be a huge setback, and no doubt disappoint Holger. Not to mention what would happen if they get caught... Trying to get a hold of his nerves, he grabs his gear and puts on the vest he was gifted. Making his way to the helicopter he sees Holger breaking up the ten man unit into groups of two, and assigning them positions.

"...Smith and Johnson, you're on lookout. Jones and Davis, you're to make sure our getaway here is protected and ready when we need it. Crow, you're with me."

He was stunned by the implications that Holger and himself are going to be going in there head first. Crow didn't have time to fully comprehend it as he was shuffled into the helicopter with the others. Taking his seat, he held his head in his hands, clearly worried. Holger took notice of this and took a seat next to him.

"Keep your cool, private. This is a simple mission, nothing too complicated. If you follow my orders, we'll be fine. We have enough back up in case things do get out of hand, but I doubt, with all the training and prep we've done, we'll need it. So, get it together, we'll be alright. After all, I've got your back."

"I'm that obvious...huh? I just wish I could stop shaking, I...I don't want to let you...the unit down...or have something even worse happen."

"...Even if this doesn't go exactly as planned...I won't be upset, as long as we get the job done, that's all that matters. I have confidence that you'll do just fine."

"...Thanks Holger, that...that helps."

The helicopter lands in it's designated area, behind a hill that's a few yards away form the enemy base, perfectly out of sight. Everyone starts moving into their designated positions. The six men that are going in start to head up the hill to get a good look of where the best point of entry is. Taylor, a younger looking man with short brown hair and glasses is the first to speak up. After looking through his binoculars, mentions that there's a door on the East side that is left unguarded at the moment and there appears to be no security cameras. Holger decides to give it a brief look over. When things look clear he gives the group the okay to head down.

Using the shadows as coverage, all of them get in without causing alarm. Once in, they all take cover. Three on one side of the hall, and three on the other. Holger peaks around the corner and informs the rest of the group, via hand motions, that this room has the minimum amount of 4 guards. According to the time, they should be changing in about 2.5 minutes. Giving the team advantage of the full 5 minute window when it comes.

All of a sudden, one of the team members notices that there are two cameras pointed at the door. They'll need to take care of those before they make their move towards the door. They aren't able to do that in the 2 minutes they have left without being seen, so they'll have use part of that precious 5 minute window instead.

Waiting for them to change seemed to take ages, the suspense was eating away at Crow. He tried to keep all that worry to himself, but it showed on his face clear as day. Holger noticed, but figured the best thing to do was to continue on with the plan. The guards were finally starting to leave and once there backs were turned, Holger and another man on the unit quickly disposed of the cameras via garrote wires. One yank from them and they were gone. A few moments after the guards were fully out of view, the group rushed into the next room.

This room was much smaller than the last, meaning less places to hide. Five guards by the door this time. The group broke off into their smaller assigned groups of two, and took cover behind crates that were strewn about the area. They cleared the first room ahead of schedule, so they had some extra time to scan this room. Two cameras positioned in a similar fashion as the last ones. Holger motioned to the group closest to them to take them out when the coast was clear. As Crow was scanning the place he noticed a major roadblock. The door they needed to go through this time had a key card scanner. Crow motioned to it to notify Holger.

Looking around, Holger noticed there was a ventilation system that lead into the next room. They would still have to wait for the guards to change otherwise they would all be spotted. They still needed to take care of the cameras as well. Meaning that the two men who had to take care of the cameras wouldn't have enough time to get to the vents. Leaving the group going forward slightly handicapped. If the two men timed it right, they could still head back the way they came and meet them back at the helicopter.

After Holger informed the others about what's to be done, it was time for the guards to change. It went pretty on beat as the first one did, take out the cameras and go, only this time with a vent detour. The vent path lead to an opening in the next room, giving what was left of the group a good view of this room.

Six men, four cameras, little to no places to hide. The only place someone could potentially hide was behind a set of chairs, but that'd only work for two men, and they still had a team four left. They had it all planned it out, but it wasn't the most ideal. The other team of two would go down when the guards change and take cover behind the chairs, taking out the cameras as soon as it was clear. Holger and Crow would then make it though the door, again leaving the other men to head back.

The time comes, and it goes as planned, almost. As Crow jumped down from the vents he lands wrong, spraining his ankle. He managed to keep up with Holger's pace and makes it through the door. He's visibly limping, and Holger grabs onto him to help him stabilize. This last room seems empty at least, but they still try to stay quiet.

"*Are you alright? Can you keep going?*"

"*I'm fine, just a little slow. Lets get this over with.*"

Scanning the room once again, they notice the closed safe with the documents they need behind a desk. There's also three cameras. Two pointed at the safe and one at the door. They don't really have a time crunch now, but it's best to get this done quickly. Holger wastes no time taking out the cameras as Crow makes his way to the safe. They both notice it's locked with a 4 digit combination.

"*How are we going to open this? We can't just take the whole safe with us. It's too heavy."

"*That's were this comes in.*"

Holger reaches into one of his vests pockets and pulls out a bundle of C-4. Carefully placing it near the locking mechanism on the safe. Motioning Crow to back up a bit.

"*Wait, won't that be too loud?*"

"*We got in here fast, the guards in the last room haven't fully changed over yet. No one is here to be alerted. We'll be fine.*"

Not a second later, and without warning, Holger detonates the C-4 blasting the safe wide open. Inside they see a folder filled to the brim with the documents they came in here for. Holger quickly grabs them and fingers though it, making sure it's all there. Unbeknownst to them at first, the safe was rigged with an alarm which set off a loud siren in the entire base as soon as the folder was moved. Fortunately, the other men in the unit were safely awaiting their captain at the helicopter. Unfortunately, said captain and his private were still deep inside the base.

"Damn it! We need to get to the vents! Now!"

Crow attempts to stand up and run, but is quickly brought back down to the ground. The pain that shot through his leg was to much for him to fight off any longer. Holger immediately lifts Crow and carries him to the vents. He has to help him in, giving the guards in the base plenty of time to get to the room. As Holger finally gets a chance to enter the vents himself, they hear the door swing open. Followed shortly by the sound of footsteps running in. No one seemed to notice the two hiding in the vents, but they could tell it wouldn't be long before they did if they didn't start moving.

"*Holger, I can't...move that fast....my leg it's too...swollen, and I'd just slow you down. Go in front of me and get out of here.*"

"*No, absolutely not. Do you have any idea what they would do to you if they caught you? We''ll get out of here together, or not at all.*"

Slowly shuffling through the vents they make it back to the third room, and then the second. The vents stop there, meaning they'll have to sneak through the the rest on foot. As Holger carefully helps Crow down out of the vent, they are interrupted by the sound of an intercom echoing throughout the base.

"ALL PERSONAL MUST EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY. SEVERE SECURITY MEASURES IN EFFECT. SELF-DESTRUCTION IN T-MINUS 3 MINUTES."

Looking at each other with shock, Holger's grip on Crow tightens. No one is in this room, and the door is clear. Crow tries his best to shuffle to the door with his bum leg with Holger's help. Once they get to the metal door, it won't budge. It's far too sturdy to use C-4 on as well. Looking desperately for another exit, the two see a pile of wood planks leaned up against a wall. Removing the planks, they discover an area that was under renovation. They take no time rushing in, hoping that it leads to a way out.

"ALL PERSONAL MUST EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY. SEVERE SECURITY MEASURES IN EFFECT. SELF-DESTRUCTION IN T-MINUS 2 MINUTES."

It's cold and dark. They can barely see what they ran into, but their hearts both sink once they realize they've encountered a dead end. Holger reaches for another C-4 and applies it to the wall, moving himself and Crow out of the blast zone, and detonates it. It's a desperate move, but they are all out of choices at this point.

"ALL PERSONAL MUST EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY. SEVERE SECURITY MEASURES IN EFFECT. SELF-DESTRUCTION IN T-MINUS 1 MINUTE."

As the smoke clears they realize that did...nothing. The wall was too solid to be destroyed. They don't have enough time to make it back and check the door again, not that it would be unlocked anyways. Both of their hearts have sunken deep into their chests by now. Holger's grip on has loosened as he moves into a hug, holding Crow tight, and whispering something Crow can't quite make out.

"8"

"7"

"Holger, I'm sorry..."

"5"

"4"

"We were so close..."

"2"

"1"

"Hold on!"

Continued in Phase 1: Part 7

[kimnjss]

falling for you | knj

⤑  series: falling for you

⤑ pairing: university student!namjoon x university student!reader (female)

⤑ genre: fluff, slightest bit of angst

⤑ word count: 2.5

As the sun went down, it had cooled down a significant amount. The two piece skirt set you had on earlier had been swapped with a pair of washed jeans and a random tee. Seconds before leaving the house, you had decided on grabbing Joon's sweater. The scent instantly making you smile.

The football field was less than a mile from your house, a ten minute walk. You found Joon leaned up against the goal post, the light from his phone emulating his face. Thick lips tucked into his mouth, his dimples on full display.

His hair laid messily at the top of his head as if he had been running his fingers through it constantly, he seemed to be concentrating on whatever he was staring at and before you could wonder what it was, your phone dinged in your pocket.

[joon

you're still coming, right?]

There was no way, absolutely no way you'd get use to how adorable this boy was. Was he really worried that you would stand him up? That you'd even think about doing something as stupid as leaving a great guy like him hanging?

His long fingers tapped against the side of his phone as he stared. Joon's teeth scraped against his lower lip as he waited. If you didn't know any better, you'd guess that he had feelings for you and that's why he was acting like this.

Did he have feelings for you? He would've made some sort of move by now if he did, right? That's how guys were, right? When they saw something that they liked, they took it. He saw you nearly every day and never did anything about it... so he didn't think of you more than a friend, right?

A grumbled left your lips, the rush of confusion frustrating you just like it had done a million times before. Kim Namjoon was an enigma. Although, you weren't shouting your feelings at the top of your lungs, it had to be at least a little obvious that you were interested... so why wasn't he doing anything?

Why wasn't he complimenting you... and crowding you... and trying hard like all the other guys that were interested in you. Were you wasting your time coming here? Thinking that maybe this would blossom into something more, seeing each other late at night like this.

Did you think...

“Is that you, yn?” Joon's voice pulled you from your racing thoughts. Your eyes focusing on his squinted expression. That's when you noticed he wasn't wearing his glasses. You had only seen him without them one other time and he looked just as cute without them, if not cuter.

Raising a hesitant hand, you offered a small wave in his direction. “It's me!” You called, jogging over to where he stood. Being this close to him now, you were able to see how different he looked.

The dim lights from the football field paired with the moonlight did wonders with highlighting his features. Without the large round glasses, you were able to see a lot more of his face, too.

The slight heart shape of his face. The dimples that appeared when he smiled or talked, you wanted so badly to dip your finger in their deepness.

His almond shaped eyes, housing those pretty brown eyes of his. The same eyes that you'd often times catch staring at you or that would glare from behind the thick rim of his glasses as he read.

And those full lips that you had imagined kissing more than once. Inwardly, you cursed Jungkook. If it wasn't for him not being able to handle his liquor you wouldn't have to wonder what it would feel like to have Joon's lips against yours.

“You're wearing my sweater,” He pointed out, a smile lingering on his lips. Your hands pulled at the hem of it as you nodded up at him. “I told you it was comfy. Your not wearing your glasses,”

He laughed, reaching up to push his hands through his hair. Must be a nervous habit. “You noticed.” His tongue jutted out to wet his lower lip, slowly pulling it in to nibble at. You watched the movement of his mouth closely, trying to keep yourself from drooling.

“I take them off before I go to bed... which is right around the time I texted you. I forgot to grab them on my way out,” You laughed at his forgetfulness. Awkwardness settling between you two as the laughter died down.

“...There's, uh... just around the corner, there's a pond...” Joon was always so shy around you. It both intrigued you and confused you. You wanted him to feel comfortable around you but at the same time his shyness made you wonder. What was the reason why he couldn't relax while you were around.

“Wanna go sit by it?” You were suggesting since he had left he sentence hanging in the wind like that. He laughed once again and nodded, before leading the way to the pond.

It was larger than you had expected. Sleeping ducks floating in the water, creating soft ripples. The moonlight reflecting into the navy pool. There was a bench a few feet away from the water. You sat, Joon taking space beside you.

“Did you want to talk about something? I mean... you asked me out to talk about something, right?” You prompted, hoping that this would encourage him to bring up the almost kiss.

“Uh... no? Kinda. I half just wanted to see you, you know? I like being around you.” Fingers through his hair. You smiled brightly up at him.

“I like being around you too.” Hearing him say that was exactly the courage you needed to bring up that night. If he had regretted grinding and almost kissing you than he wouldn't be saying in the same breath that he liked spending time with you, right?

Right?

“I wouldn't have minded if you kissed me. That night at the bar, before Hoseok... I wanted you to kiss me,” There. You were as honest as blunt as you could be. Now the ball was fully in his court. He just had to pick it up, toss it, kick it. Hell, he could even pop it, he just needed to do something.

Joon was taken aback by your sudden confession. Eyes wide and mouth going dry, all the moisture seemingly rushing to his palms. “You? Are you sure?” Did he really not have a clue? No way he hadn't picked up on your obvious crush? Did he really not notice?

“Yes, I'm sure. I wanted you to kiss me then. I sometimes want you to kiss me while we're studying. I want you to kiss me now.” Your heart was doing boxer kicks against your chest. Breaths coming out in heavy pants. But you couldn't stop the word vomit.

“Now?”

“Yeah,”

Joon stared at you for a long while. You couldn't read his expression and that was a thing about him. You could never read him, could never guess what he was thinking. That's why this was so hard.

You liked him so much, though. At first, it was just simple attraction. You thought he was cute and felt stupid for acting the way you did when you realized that it was him you were stuck with. But as the weeks went on and your daily sessions shifted from endless work to endless conversation, you started to fall.

How couldn't you? He was smart, funny, down to Earth. God, that boy cared about people and you never thought you'd ever find that as alluring as you did when you noticed it about Joon. He also had a way with words.

You could listen to that boy talk for hours on end. About anything. If he was explaining a certain theory or going on about the meaning behind the lyrics he liked to scribble in the corner of his text books. He was so passionate, about everything.

That's why you were so nervous right now. This boy was everything, everything that you could dream up and he was sitting right next to you. Looking at you with that seemingly bored expression, leaning in close and you couldn't breathe.

You couldn't breathe because you knew what was coming next. What this would lead to, the way everything would change after this. This... this was going to be big. Yet, you didn't move. Didn't bother to stop him as he brushed his lips over yours, even nodded when his gaze shifted up to your eyes to check if you were still into this. He was always so cautious, always checking, always making sure. You liked that.

Every last bit of awkwardness melted away when his lips covered yours fully. A strong hand rested at the side of your neck, holding your head steady as he kissed you. His lips felt better than you had imagined, thick but so soft, wrapping around yours with such delicacy, as if you'd break.

You kissed him sweetly, your fingers curling in his messy hair. It felt soft between your fingers. No wonder he was always jostling it around. Joon was pushing his tongue into your mouth, at the same time dropping his hand down onto your hip and pulling your body into his.

Fuck, this boy could kiss.

He navigated through your mouth skillfully, his long fingers drawing invisible patterns against your skin. It tickled and you had to do your best to suppress the giggle fighting it's way to your lips.

When his hand reached the small of your back, his fingers continuing their tracing you couldn't help the giggle that slipped past your lips. Joon was pulling away, a dazed smile on his face, dimples and all.

“That tickles.” He leaned down to kiss your smiling lips, his hand sliding before behind you. He was quick to wrapping your fingers together, leaning back to look up at the night sky. A sigh of contentment coming from him.

“I can't believe that just happened...” It seemed as if his words weren't meant for you to hear, but he was speaking out loud, so...

“What? Kissing me?”

Joon nodded, his eyes never dropping to meet yours. “Yeah. You probably know this, but... I've had a crush on you since, I don't even know how long. And being paired up with you, I thought would only make things worse because there's no way you'd like me, but... I guess I was wrong.”

He paused for a moment, dropping his head to meet your gaze. “I was wrong, right?” You laughed. After kissing you the way he had and now holding your hand he was still unsure? Only Joon would overthink this much.

Your arms wrapped around his arm, palms resting on his shoulder. “You were very wrong,” You planted a small kiss to his cheekbone. “I like you. Probably more than you like me,”

He shook his head. “Impossible. My affection had years to resonate. You're a newbie.” Joon flashed you a sideways grin that you couldn't help but giggle at. You leaned up to kiss him, loving the way his lips puckered moments before making contact with yours.

“I like your lips.” The words left your mouth, as soon as he pulled back from it.

“Yeah?” You hummed your response, “I like yours too,” He placed a chaste kiss over your lips. “And your cheeks,” Two soft kisses on either side of your face. His fingers tilted your head back, exposing the length of your neck.

His list was short there as he dropped his head into the crook of your neck, his pillow-y lips, gently caressing your skin before he was leaving a trail of wet kisses down toward your collarbones.

Joon palmed at your waist, pulling your body tight against his as he explored your neck. Your fingers easily twisting around his strands of his hair, using your grip to hold his head steady against your skin.

You could feel the wetness of his tongue, the suction of his lips, the gentle scrap of his teeth. An obvious hickey forming just inches above your collarbone. What had gotten into him?

His mouth felt so good against your warm skin. It was like you couldn't think straight, just sit there and moan as he marked you. All too soon he was pulling back, staring up at you with his dark hooded eyes. He grinned before leaning down to press his lips against yours again, the tips of his fingers reaching up to brush against your wet skin.

“I gave you a hickey,” He chuckled, the pad of his thumb brushing against it. You couldn't help the laugh that left your lips as you nodded your head. “I felt that,” As you spoke, you lifted your body to straddle his lap.

Your arms wrapping around his waist and your chin resting on his shoulder. Tilting your head up, you examined the night sky above you. It seemed as though there were more stars out than normal. The moon looked a lot larger too.

“The sky looks so pretty,” You pointed out. The shift of his body moved you a bit, Joon was soon leaning back on his hands as he stared at the sky.

“This is what the sky looked like when we had our first kiss,” His words were the cause to the growing smile on your lips. A comfortable smile fell over you. He held you close as the sky moved silently.

Being in Joon's arms felt comfortable, safe, familiar. You could definitely get use to that. Quickly, you were becoming keen to the feeling of his strong arms around your body and the heat of his chest against yours.

All you could feel was him. Literally, surrounding you and you didn't want to have it any other way. It didn't register how long the two of you were sitting out there, until you found yourself dozing off.

Not more than an hour had passed, right? Pulling back, Joon's attention was still on the night sky. Brows furrowed, as if he was thinking hard about something. Reaching your hands up, you grasped his cheeks, turning his head down to yours.

“What you thinking about?”

He grinned. “When did you start liking me?”

“Hm. I always thought you were cute, even before we met. I think I started liking you a little bit more each day that we were together. You know how smart you are, Joon? You're like a genius. And I liked hearing you talk and explain things. Then you'd talk to me about your passions and the things that you liked. I love he way your face lights up when you go on a tangent. Plus you care so much. You're a great guy. So of course I had to start liking you,”

Joon's laugh woke up the butterflies in your belly. “I still can't believe it,”

You rolled your eyes at him, leaning up so your face was level with his. You leaned forward to place your mouth over his. You kissed him sweetly, pulling back to press a few pecks to his lips.

“Well you better believe it, buddy. There's no getting rid of me.”

— by chance you are paired up with, kim namjoon. he’s everything a dream guy should be: smart, funny, handsome. it doesn’t take long for feelings to develop, and that’s when things take an unexpected turn.

prev masterlist next

⤑ taglist: @bookoffracturedescapes​ @biaisezabini​ @sunrisemcp​ @imajiningseokjin

[fructuyeux]

CANADA-20 (xxx) COVID-19

3/13/2020 - 3/22/2020

By: Rayce R. Rayos

This undertaking was planned as a daringly creative escape from mounting internally & externally placed workloads, & was slated to take place during the UNLV 2020 Spring Break.  In concurrence with the vacation was the ever-increasing, ever-diversifying socioeconomic fallout, mandates, & obstacles associated with the first global pandemic that I have experienced in my lifetime.  I’d be remiss to not admit that the cheapened airline, lodging, & transportation prices were viewed as a silver lining in an otherwise hysteric & strange time in human history. The following account of the trip is intended to recount the experiences & knowledge gained (from what is remembered), and aid in the recollection of the associated photo-documentation conducted during.

DAY 1 - 3/14 - 7.5 miles

The outgoing flight 1224 from McCarran International Airport to the eventual destination of Niagara Falls, New York was delayed, unbeknownst to me, & so the trip began with a frantic drive to the airport with a hastened goodbye to my roommate & lovely daughter (who wanted dearly to join her father in Canada).  The flight was delayed by an hour, & I made it on the plane.

A quick stop in Denver, CO was followed by a landing in Fort Lauderdale, FL.  Upon landing, the Spirit Airlines attendant notified me that my flight to Niagara Falls had already left (to the complete fault of their flight coordination), & that I’d have to spend the night & following day in Broward County, 15 miles North of Miami.  I was frazzled & upset to have started my trip with such a complication, but after the airline was able to change my ticket free of charge, I decided to extend my trip an extra day. So, I asked them to book my returning flight for a day later (3/20 → 3/21), to which they agreed to do for free, utilizing a COVID-19 flight disruption program.  I booked a room at the Vacation Inn in the middle of the night, & recalibrated my trip schedule.

The following morning was a beautiful sunny day in South Florida, & after resting my luggage at the motel for the day (for a fee), I skateboarded to SE 17th Street, hung a right, & breezed through a few miles of million-dollar homes & yachts, over the Causeway Bridge, to what would eventually become Fort Lauderdale Beach Park.  Full of families & largely free of fear, the beach was warm, sunlit, & vivacious.  The locals were out in near-full effect, & I spent the entire day with the rays on my back, the water at my waist, & a respite of relaxation before ensuing madness. I even struck up a conversation with some fellow beachgoers as a result of my Kobe Bryant tattoo, & learned a good deal about quotidian life down there.  I got a workout in on the beach equipment, & some peaceful serenity as I stared down the horizon beyond the Atlantic.  I returned to my motel to acquire my bags & make my way to the airport en route to New York… Little did I know that a bar, Bimini Bay to be exact, neighbored my motel.  I found myself entrenched in an environment eerily similar to that of the Huntridge Tavern, although this spot was half the size with raunchy anal porn playing on multiple screens throughout all of the 5 walls.  Throwing brews back & chain-smoking with the locals to country music was a familiar feeling, & instilled in me further the universal nature of letting loose.  That being said, I lost track of time & had to hightail it out of there via a gentleman’s Uber to the airport.  Another flight ran after & barely boarded in the nick of time… My time in South Florida was as serendipitous as flight disruptions can be.  The most lingering aspect of my time spent there was, indubitably, the sunburn that would come to stick with/on me for the remainder of the vacation. Perhaps the worst case of the sun’s kiss I’ve come to bare.  Before fully coming to this realization, I’m on a plane to New York.

DAY 2 - 3/15 - 10.47 miles

Upon being alive on arrival in New York state at 2 AM in the morning, I resolved to sleep in the IAG airport for the night, especially considering my phone charger at the time had been severely out of whack.  There I lay, curled on an airport bench in Niagara Falls for the night with blistering skin & a scent of fresh tobacco smoke (& ass).  I distinctly recall wrestling with the time I should render myself awake, eventually settling upon 9:30 AM. It was at this time that I found myself the only visible individual in the airport terminal; no staff, no bags, no patrons, nothing.  The unexpected isolation harkened memories of the film 28 Days Later.  Once the drool was free from my chin, I hailed a Lyft to the American-Canadian border, specifically the entrance to the Rainbow Bridge; it was along this ride that my driver informed me that the American dollar was fairly strong against the Canadian dollar to the tune of 1 USD = 1.33 CAD (roughly). This would come to be an extremely welcomed caveat to the remainder of the trip, as most every purchase converted to about 75% of all prices quoted in Canada.

When the border was reached, there I stood as a man with his spirit & belongings intact, & began my trek over the bridge to a foreign land.  With frequent pause, the majesty of the falling water on a brisk Spring day will play in my mind for years to come.  Pictures were taken, deep thought was attempted, & it was a stark moment of gratefulness for the life I have been given.  Next was passing through Canadian Customs at the north end of the bridge, & after being grilled for a moment as to my intentions for entering, the officer pointed me in the direction of the bus stop from which my Greyhound was leaving in less than an hour.  From the Rainbow Bridge to the Whistleblower bridge 2.5 miles north, I was blessed with a walk of forced clarity as I hugged Niagara’s riverway with 75+ pounds of much needed possessions.  I found myself doubting my ability to invite others with me on trips in the future out of a fear for unintentionally inflicting similar tasks upon them.  Nevertheless, I made it to my Greyhound in time and rested on the ride to Toronto.

The recuperation was much needed.  When I awoke I found myself in Canada’s largest city (& the 9th-largest in North America), Toronto, Ontario.  Excitement coursed through my capillaries & once departing from the bus on foot, it was straight to my ‘Chinatown Guest House’ to set down my things & get on the go… this was not the case.  A whole fiasco followed where I was unable to contact the host, thereby unable to access the place I had paid to stay for the night (& the night before, despite Spirit having different plans on DAY 1). The first two Torontonian hours were spent in a Chinatown chicken spot (Gdou’s) where I struggled to gain the cellular abilities necessary to overcome this debacle; I bought a new charger & charger port at the market center across Spadina.  I grappled with frustration in a very real sense, but was utterly appeased to find that I had been sent an email containing the entry instructions from Booking.com.  Relief rushed over me. I grabbed my bags, & hunkered down in a room with a wooden balcony & stunning view of Downtown Toronto to boot.  I showered, shat, & escaped into the city heading South on Spadina.  A brief stop at the famed ‘Graffiti Alley’ along with a trip to the marijuana grocer located me in the heart of the Fashion District, a sector largely reminiscent of Williamsburg, BK (as hip, although much smaller).  After a lovely skate to the harbourfront I was able to catch the sun set behind a vast array of monolithic condos & headquarters. The sun was able to get quite low, however, after having nestled between two skyscrapers, & that shared scene on the pier between myself & just a handful of individuals was quite a sight.  Heading south afterwards, I rolled by the Toronto Music Gardens, through Coronation Park, & through a series of railway tracks amidst arenas (BMO Arena), Centennial Park, Lakeshore Boulevard, & an array educational campuses.  Once Dufferin Street was reached, I headed toward Little Portugal.  On the way there I stopped short (per the advice of a local) & turned north up King Street. Halfway home I stopped at the restaurant Thai Place Too & enjoyed some steaming seafood Tom Yum fit with stimulating conversation from the waitress.  I paid my bill, thanked those there, & pushed onward on King Street traversing a barrage of tunnels, city folk, & shopping centers.  At this juncture I recall being bummed by the lack of nighttime activities, & decided to stop at a bar near my place for the night called Wide Open.

What was to begin & end as a night of the all-evasive ‘one brew’ quickly accelerated into a merry time of mutual drunkenness & fun.  A couple dental hygienists befriended me at the bar, & not far to follow were a West Indian techy working for Google & an Irishwoman on her way out of town.  My memories of what exactly transpired are quite shaky, but an unflinching enjoyment of that particular night at the bar lasts.  I got home at an ungodly hour & crash-land in my bed.

DAY 3 - 3/16 - 7.53 miles

Similar to popping out of bed due to a frightening nightmare, “Where’s my fucking board?!” was the thought & simultaneous phrase that opened my eyes that morning.  I was still drunk, so a hangover wasn’t an issue, but discovered a damn large lump on my right posterior parietal bone & a pool of blood in the sheets where I slumbered. I racked what was left of my brain as to where/how/why this injury came to be sustained, but to no avail.  In hindsight, it’s consistent with braceless backwards fall, & vaguely recall attempting to ride my skateboard back home equipped with a BAC of full-blown ‘no bueno’.  Nevertheless, the pain wasn’t of serious concern (although I had plenty of time to reflect on the very real possibility of me now having to operate in a concussed state). What was of concern was my skateboard, my iPod, & my eighth of weed that I had yet to dip into.  I began retracing my steps and was welcomed with open arms by my beautiful black, four-wheeled bride waiting for me at the front doorstep- Check 1.  I scooped up my board, got dressed & readied for the (likely music-less) day ahead, had a solid conversation with my father, & cleared my stuff from the house just in time to be 4 hours late for checkout.

In one of the more daring tactics employed on the trip, I stashed my big purple duffle bag (containing clothes & other non-essentials) & my backpack (containing my laptop, passport & other very-essentials) in the empty garbage bin to the side of the front door.  This was a huge gamble, & one that would weigh somewhat on my conscience for the coming hours, despite heavy medication- re-upped on weed, Check 2.  During my second trip to Graffiti Alley I encountered a bum in mid-tweak repeatedly pulling his pants up & down amidst a backdrop of beautiful art, & naturally this struck me as microcosmic of the whole of Toronto.  The bar I had chanced upon the night prior didn’t resume service until 4 in the evening, & so I had a few hours to kill which were spent speaking with various loved ones & contemplating last night’s events as I bobbed & weaved a hangover.  4 o’clock rolls around & I walk into the bar greeted by a smiling bartender with an unclaimed red iPod.  THIS WAS A PERSONAL WIN OF GREAT PROPORTIONS, & solidified my successful navigation through mindless debauchery abroad- Check 3.  I felt the proverbial wind was once again behind my back, & opted to knock out the city’s landmarks North of Spadina Avenue, largely via Adelaide & King Streets until Yonge.

Post-modern magnificence a la architecture kept my chin up as I managed to dodge pedestrian after pothole after Porsche.  Sundown was not far off & the gleaming beams reflected softly off the mirrored panels some seventy-five plus stories on all sides.  A real embodiment of the term ‘hustle & bustle’ was laid out in front of me, complete with a citizenry whose diversity mimicked that of my own home a world away.  The gritty attitude that I’ve come to associate with East coast cities (specifically the colder ones) was alive & well here, evidenced in reluctance to help guide tourists or even tell the time of day. I loved it, & judged it as genuine more so than anything else.  It should also be noted that the music playing in my ears throughout my time in the ‘Six’ was exclusive to the stylings of Drake, a rapper native of the city with references to its contents (streets, sides of town where the pretty girls sleep, subpopulations, parks, etc.) found abundantly in his lyrics.

When Yonge was reached, I peered west to a ton of things going on, but elected to go east.  This turned out to be a wise decision. After a few blocks I was greeted by the area of town most closely associated with the Toronto skyline & its historical foundations on the illustrious Front Street. Here is where I stood mouth agape with the enormity & incomprehensible complexity of the city on full view.  I touched the base of the CN tower & spent a good amount of time in awe as it registered (despite the Stratosphere being superior in my eyes), traversed the Railway museum set just outside of Olympic Park, gazed upon the Rogers Center where the Blue Jays come to bat, & ended at the water of Lake Ontario at the sandy Harbour Square Park where some solid skating took place.  After some time, the thought of my possessions having lasted (or not) in the trash receptacle all this time prompted me to retrieve them, & so back to Chinatown I booked it.  The moment of truth arrived when I got off my board at 83 W. Sullivan Street, & lo & behold, my stuff was nestled just as I had left it some 5 hours before.  Feeling giddy from the travel-savvy risks taken, I was on to grab dinner with an old colleague of mine who happened to be doing her post-baccalaureate studies there.  T. & I, a former classmate at Valley High, met at what we would come to find as nothing more than another closed restaurant with a COVID-19 newsletter plastered on the door.  We deliberated playfully on what we should now do, & after having happened upon the  ‘T O R O N T O’ sign & all of its illuminated glory, a 6-pack of Stella Artois from the rather hidden LCBO in the mega-commercial Eaton Center became the night’s main entree.  Polite exchanges with exceedingly conversational locals made for a nice segue as we awaited our second Lyft ride to the Harbourfront.

The Harbourfront Centre was largely uncrowded as temperatures dipped below zero (Celsius, of course), & after a brew-cigarette combo, it was in an instance that snow began falling from the blackened sky & onto everything in sight… including our unsheltered selves.  It was as surprising as it was splendid (at least for a desert cactus like me) to have been outdoors somewhere prior to snowfall & then to behold its beginning.  A few days prior, I had been notified that the ski lift an hour North of Ottawa whose mountain I intended to shred had been closed, & so, I found myself with a decision to make: stay in the Toronto area an extra night or board the bus I had booked & crashing in a twin-sized bus seat for the night & do who knows what in Ottawa…  Motivated by the phrase, “What the hell are you going to do in Ottawa?” I chose the former & began searching for a nearby hotel room.  My homegirl, sitting beside me, of course overheard, & more-than-kindly offered a guest room in her condo as a suitable place to rest my head for the evening. I accepted, & we whisked ourselves out of the snow to a 12th-story condo in the 95+% Chinese suburb of Markham, ON.  An once-schoolmate was changed into a dear friend after having exhibited flawless hospitality in the form of whiskey, toast, toothpaste, a bed & sublime conversation.  We jabbed & joked in Francais (with hers being superior to my own), & this was a much-needed introduction to everyday dialogue in the different tongue of the Quebecois whom I would spend most of the days to follow with.

DAY 4 - 3/17 - 4.38 miles

I awoke early in the morning after not being able to sleep too much due to my skin’s incessant irritation, as well as a pseudo-insomnia I’ve come to expect from myself when on vacation.  To fill the time between my awakening & my host’s, I read as much of The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz as I could retain, ending with the last chapter left unread.  As a result, the mantras prompted by the book that one is to agree with from within his/herself resonated with me.  They are ‘be impeccable with your word,’ ‘don’t take anything personally,’ ‘don’t make any assumptions,’ & ‘always do your best.’ Fondly, I looked to these statements as a source of my second wind around this time, as the physical toll of my endeavors began somewhat to present themselves.

When T awoke, we engaged in parley for another hour or so before trudging to the neighborhood bus/rail station where she purchased my ticket & we ran goofily to make the train before the doors swiftly shut.  During the train ride back to Downtown Toronto I was able to sit quietly in my thoughts, as well as get some business dealings out of the way via phone.  The walls flanking the tracks were riddled in graffiti of both very high- & very low-quality pieces on fleeting displays.  We were headed to Union Station, the hub for all non-automobile commutes in the metropolitan area, & second-largest transportation facility in North America, servicing some seventy-two million humans yearly.  A stunning structure of Greco-Roman design with pristine pillars, it was a treat to walk the halls of such an obviously integral establishment.  Soon we said our brief farewell & parted ways so that she could go to school & I could purchase a rail ticket to Ottawa, ON- set to leave later in the day.

I purchased my rail ticket to Ottawa for 6:30 PM & stashed my luggage at the bagging station inside the terminal, leaving me with 3 ½ hours to get the last of my rocks off in a city unique to itself. I went straight for Yonge-Dundas square after having caught a glimpse of the scene days prior, & once in the center I felt a likening to Times Square, both personally & perceivably.  There was no better wayward idea at the time than to bust off some skate tricks in the center of such commotion, & was able to have a solid 15-20 minutes on the board before security (much like their American counterparts) gave me the good ol’ boot.  Onto St. Lawrence Market I dashed, the bayside market most closely associated with Canadian grub.  Here I tried peameal for the first time, & was left affirmed of Canadian courtesy, although the meal itself wasn’t anything to write home about.  Yet another stop at Tim Horton’s for some pastries seemed in order before heading back to Union Station.  Back at the staging port for my bus it was revealed to passengers that there was a 50-minute delay- just the break I needed to step out & smoke a potent bowl.  When I did finally step outside after a few lefts & maybe a right, there in front of me stood the Scotiabank Arena where the Toronto Raptors (reigning NBA Champions) play their home games.  To be frank, I was at the rear of the practice court, but nevertheless, happy to happen to be there. The train boards, takes off, & a long list of Canadian towns were slept through & bypassed in the dead of night.  I hailed a lift from the Ottawa Train Station to my hostel for the night. The place served as the first jail in city, & had since been neatly converted into a hostel with guests sleeping in tight-fitting ‘jail cells.’  I was on floor 6 in cell number 613, the quarters of a long-gone inmate by the name of Angelo Villamino. I relished this opportunity to mix the excitement of historicism with the usually lull nature of lodging.  The rest itself was subpar as my skin had begun peeling profusely during the day, & remained red hot during the night.

DAY 5 - 3/18 - 16.24 miles

Morning comes quickly & I am tasked to clear my cell of my things in a playful return to freedom.  Breakfast was held in the dining hall of the jailhouse, aptly ascribed the ‘oldest dining hall in Ottawa.’ After replenishing my body, I held my bags at the front desk, & hurled myself into the city; I had a little over one hour to squeeze as much of the country’s capital into my memory banks as possible.  I began by searching for the Parliament building (more like a castle) where the bulk of legislation for the world’s second-largest country (in landmass) largely transpires.  No Prime Minister Trudeau or politicians in sight, as the effects of the Coronavirus pandemic amplified by the day.  I believe this is the day that the Prime Minister of Canada closed the southern border to incoming Americans, followed swiftly by our President’s mutual refusal of incoming foreign travelers at the border.  Admittedly, this was not of concern to me, as I figured (& thankfully was later proven correct) that a U.S. citizen would be permitted to come home.  In hindsight, I perhaps predicted such measures being taken & allowed them to expedite my plans of getting to Canada before being unable to enter as an American.

Anyway… by Parliament I glided taking whatever pauses necessary to piece together how things came to be as they are up there from an academic perspective, but carefully preserving the right to take the utmost tourist-y photos (much like others do at 1600 Pennsylvania).  A breathtaking building it was indeed, & that was just the view from the street!  I continued along my path, circumnavigating the center of the city which took me to Victoria Island & into the province of Quebec for a brief moment (although I was not aware of the provincial border at the time).  Like my time in Niagara, I elected to skate from a southern bridge to a northern one, the latter being Alexandra bridge over the Ottawa River.  What a special moment this turned out to be as my wheels clanked over the wooden boards of the bridge, seemingly to the dismay of the townspeople.  I was not the least bit concerned for this harmless transgression, as I had been otherwise captivated by my backside view of Parliament sitting atop its hill.  It felt as if I had been transported to Transylvania, & the Victorian edifice gave me a sense of passion for human ingenuity.  I made it back to the HI Ottawa Jail Hostel, aligned my belongings, & requested a ride to the Ottawa Greyhound terminal to catch my bus to Montreal. Here is precisely where Francais surpassed English as the primary mode of communication for the foreseeable future.  The beloved Quebecois are very proud of their Francophone heritage, as it is the written language on road signs & nearly all signage everywhere (with a distinctive lower regard for English).

Arrival in Montreal occurred after the couple-hour bus ride.  Immediately I was made aware of the foothold in normalcy that the French language commanded there, mainly because everything was in French (& not always in English).  Outside the bus station, during my coordination with my Airbnb host, multiple homeless individuals approached me in search of loose change or a cigarette. This would be otherwise unworthy of mention had it not been for their guttural requests being in a language outside of English; I remember finding it striking to conceive a natively French-speaking bum whose domain I was now a guest in.  My stuff & I made yet another march to the place I would come to call a temporary home- the apartment of Alix & Marion.  I was mid-toke when my host, Alix, motioned to me to come to the stairs at the foot of the door & take my entry. A simple ‘bonjour,’ we greeted each other with, & I demonstrated to her that I would prefer to speak in her primary language in an effort to sharpen my own ear & mouth, to which she gladly agreed.  The remainder of our exchanges over roughly the next 48 hours took place in Francais, with varying degrees of contextual & vernacular depth.  The common Montrealaise person is a French-speaker with a veritable accent when they switch to English.  As the old addage goes, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.  I met this challenge to navigate a new cityscape & probe its peoples in an embracing way with occasional angst, constant excitement, & most profoundly with a thirst for knowledge.

My goods were locked away in my room, I had just showered, so I grabbed my board & set sail in search of the city’s lifebloods. Beginning in Chinatown (which usually tends to be either exactly or nearby places I stay in cities), I opted to head west in search of Le Plateau & Mile’s End, sections of the town celebrated for the globality & execution of their cuisinieres.  Some poutine boeuf hache from Main Deli on Rue Ste. Laurent seemed the right call, & turned out better than my imagination had guessed.  From Mile’s End southward I was bound, seeking to lay eyes upon L’Universite de Montreal.  Little did I know it was set atop one of the many tiers of Mt. Royal at the city’s center.  Getting there was rather trying, but the views of Quebec’s largest city at night from the campus, coupled with the exhilaration of board-bombing down the occasional hill, left little to be desired & much to be remembered.  Further south of the University lied L’Oratoire de St. Joseph (St. Joseph’s Oratory), a Catholic-driven destination featuring towering stained-glass windows, a gathering hall for services that rivaled the most Mormon of Tabernacles, along with a balcony’s viewpoint all its own.  After struggling to find the exit from the Oratory, I found it in my best interest to begin the journey back to my bed.  A complete encircling of Mt. Royal park was supposed to cap the day’s adventure as night had already befallen hours before.  Perhaps fate had other plans in mind.

My phone had been rendered useless at this point, & I had little more than my intelligence to rely on to get me back home.  Unfortunately, my mental capacity had waned significantly over the course of the day’s doings, & over the next 2 or 3 hours I could be plainly seen wandering somewhat aimlessly from roadside map to roadside map.  The outcome of being well off-track was spectacular, however.  I cannot help but feel I got to experience the city in a different & daring light.  Half of me wanted to return home, & the other half wanted to investigate each eye-catching facet; more often than not, I let the need to investigate prevail & tacked some formidable mileage onto the invisible odometer of my skateboard throughout the night.  After some much-needed guidance from a man walking & a bus driver, I was able to piece together just enough of my surroundings to locate 1223 Rue Ste. Elisabeth. Before heading home, I stopped into an Indian restaurant called SpiceBoys, where I requested tandoori chicken with curry rolled into naan bread.  The only problem was that their card terminal was unable to accept any of my debit or credit cards, & so, with one stroke of effortless Indian-Canadian kindness, I was gifted a hearty dinner for the night free of charge.  With the help of daylight, the next day I uncovered that I had thoroughly explored Downtown Montreal (via Rue Ste. Catherine), the Red-Light District, the Quartier Latin (Latin Quarter), & the Quartier des Spectacles (Entertainment District).  I crept back into the apartment, which creaked with every floorboard, into my room & resigned to fatigue.

DAY 6 - 3/19 - 8.64 miles

I remained asleep in my quarters for the morning’s entirety, having groveled thirteen hours through the mandatory regeneration of my body & mind.  Near this time I had an extended conversation with my hostess in which I requested to place my bags there after check-out the following day & attached reasoning to the request… completely in Francais! She was more than accommodating.  Awakened & thoughts of the night prior still scrambling my brain, I showered (peeling skin off myself for the vast majority of time in the water), clothed myself in some hot shit, & set out to cross the St. Lawrence River.  The cartographic struggles that were now in the past (plus a charged phone) helped me immensely in getting to my desired destinations in the coming days.  I set out southward on Boulevard Rene-Levesque seeking to hit Griffintown & St. Henri before taking the Wellington Street bridge over to the L’isle de Ste. Helene (St. Helen Island).  The riverfront at Sq. St. Patrick was an intoxicating mixture of sights & sounds; inlaid with a frozen stream, industrious (sometimes abandoned) infrastructure, & graffiti/street art that seamlessly colorized a scene already full of vibrance made for a quite memorable portion.  At the point where most individuals had turned back due to the icy paths & an increasingly disinviting ambience, I progressed under Highway 10.  On a route I was positive few or none had taken before, I stood roadside at dusk having to think intensely upon my next move & if it was the correct one.  Wrong ones were made, gloves were dropped, but in time & effort I was able to find Avenue Pierre-Dupuy.

For a handful of kilometers, I skated along the shipyard gazing upon the city that I had been so immersed in & with.  I was trying to practice kicking & pushing in the ‘goofy’ stance, so that I could face the spectacles & not apartment complexes (to mild avail).  Before I knew it, I reached Parc Dieppe (Dieppe Park), a park on the north tip of the Cite du Havre & the starting point of the Pont de la Concorde (Concord Bridge).  I would begin crossing without giving myself the time to let fear fester.  Cars sped by at a half-meter’s length as my wheels rolled over tidbits of gravel, & more present in my mind, over a large body of water.  I recall taking a few moments of pause at the bridge’s midpoint to survey my surroundings, & beautifully dominating they were.  Humbled I felt, truly.  As if my existence equated to a ripple in the river below, & with my individual ripple I can become a hurricane, or mud.  The end of the bridge was a comforting sight.

To reach L’isle de Ste. Helene was the goal for the day & having gotten off the east end of the Pont de la Concorde, I was finally there.  A long walk up the eastern coast of the island awaited me & was met with a heart teeming with adventure.  Here I had time alone.  With no other humans nearby, I let my mind run wild with thoughts of the trip to this point & how, in the grand scheme of things, I felt I was at where I should be; perhaps not geographically as one’s physical station is usually inconsequential. But in my mental state I was home, & home alone at that.  Onward & northward I strode through the Parc Jean-Drapeau, laying eyes upon the ‘Biosphere’- a spherical structure on the island meant to champion ecology.  Trees & ice accompanied me on the brisk walk to the north end of the island.  There, Pont Jacques-Cartier (Jacques Cartier Bridge) awaited me in all of its steel beam splendor.  Thankfully, the lanes of traffic & the pedestrian walkway had a divider between them, as well as a protective gate on the side where one might otherwise go overboard.  This was all I needed to hop back on my board & skate my weathered boots over the St. Lawrence for the last time.  On the bridge there were workers toiling away & the dazzling light sequence of the bridge itself made for a surreal experience.  In the distance I could see the bridge, lit in rainbow colors, that I had crossed merely an hour or two before this new bridge that served as my current vantage point.  Thoughts on the ephemerality of my existence at large (exemplified by having been way over yonder ‘then’ & here ‘now’) & the absolute need for self-belief against a vacuum of chance pervaded my tiny brain.  The Pont Jacques-Cartier provided a special moment in my life that I can attest to having been rarely duplicated before.  For reasons beyond me, I shed a tear & smoked a bowl before getting off.

Once off, I felt my way through Gay Village & back down into the Quartier Latin where I stopped for dinner at a quaint, but busy, Napoli Pizzeria.  The owner was Italian.  The waiter too.  Both spoke Italian, English, & French, but after a while a Mexican family of 6 on vacation from Monterrey was seated, & the working duo displayed their aptitude in the Spanish language as well, going so far as to tell jokes anecdotally.  I grinned & shared in the aura of the exchange, although I likely resembled a dirty drifter in the corner.  Coming from such worldly humans, naturally the smoked salmon pizza topped with capers & onions was not lacking in the least bit.  So, I ordered a large box for take-out after munching away the smaller portion & took my leave.  On the way home, I stopped at a Second Cup Coffee Co. location & had a brief verbal volley with the barista in request of a cheesecake. He complimented my accent when speaking French, & even likened it to that of a French person (maybe meaning not Quebecois), despite glaring difficulties in my comprehension & rebuttals.  Riding an emotional (& literal) high during the descent of a simply remarkable day of jam-packed novelty & sensation in all forms (sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touches, introspection), I returned to the apartment for  my last full night in the region.

DAY 7 - 3/20 - 2.42 miles

My time in Montreal was now nearing an end, & I began to hold thoughts of coming home in high regard.  When the sluggishness of sleep washed away in the shower (insert skin peeling of the largest proportions here), I readied my luggage & cleaned my temporary room as best as I could to eliminate all signs of a horrific sunburn & accompanying cranial gash.  With the green light from my hostesses to store my luggage in the apartment until the night’s 10:50 bus ride to Plattsburgh, NY, I was intent upon checking off the last few Montreal-bound goals that remained.  This came chiefly in the form of a desire to reach the Mt. Royal lookout in order to take in the city-sphere from its namesake mountain.  Originally, I had intended to skateboard there from the apartment, but after a few blocks of dousing rain, I called an Uber to scoop me up (after finding out that Lyft doesn’t yet operate in Quebec) & take me.  The friendly Uber driver, Vincent, let me out at the drivable point closest to the Chateau Mont Royal, & didn’t hesitate to call me crazy for being there in such ferocious conditions.  He pointed me in the proper direction which was aided by a fellow human headed toward the same spot as myself.  Precipitation worsened as the half-mile March was underway, but it was worth every goosebump & raindrop once I reached the outlook.

A dreary backdrop of low-hanging, gray clouds & the smell of rain caressed the skyline’s perimeter in a way that rang true & imprinted upon me a stunningly naked Montreal.  An intimate version of the city it was, gripped by the unknown like the rest of the world, yet resilient enough for entrepreneurialism to survive in pockets.  Having already been to many of the places now set in my sight made the moment all the more fulfilling & full circle.  A naive feeling of having ‘conquered’ the city laid bare before me was soon supplanted by the revelation of the realer self-conquest. Half-frozen water panging my face & wind gusts pulling & pushing without cease proved no match for the firmness I had found, in feet & fortitude.  This was the quintessential culmination of the week I endured, & one one-hundred percent befitting of such a voyage.

I made my escape of Mount Royal with haste before my inadequate (but stylish) clothing proved a fatal error.  Originally, I had the notion to return to Main Deli because my last meal there was so damn good, but in the moment I opted for Schwartz’s Deli across the street in the name of variety.  A heaping steak sandwich slatted between two tiny slices of wheat with mustard proved to be the house specialty, & was served less than a minute after being ordered… It was alright.  Homeward bound with a full stomach, I decided to walk into a store that I had held in the back of my mind after passing by my first day there, Cul-de-Sac.  This place was happening!  The owner of the store was gracious in her conversation as I browsed.  I eventually confessed my inspiration(s) gained from her shop (& plans to recreate in a respectful, homage-paying manner).  We spoke at length about various topics, from our being of parents, to our being of owners of similar retail operations, to her allegiance to Quebec & not the whole of Canada.  In fact, she was the foremost messenger of the separatist mentality that the people of the Quebec province displayed, on their countenance & in their conduct.  I purchased a few of the items in her shop, she threw me some good stuff for free, & we wished well upon each other at my exit.  That was the last recreational stop in Montreal, & soon thereafter I retreated to the Quartier des Spectacles to acquire my things.  I was graced with the time to charge my phone & rest my bones for about 45 minutes.  It was during this time that a cherished exchange between myself, Alix, & Marion (a hostess with whom I’d only spoken with via Airbnb messaging up to this point) occurred.  It had become expected that I was asked what I did with my day, & that is how the chat began.  I explained the day’s travels, thanked the duo for being a source of comfort & ease at the beginnings & ends of trying days.  I also thanked them for putting up with my butchering of their language (as each inhabitant of the apartment was from France) for the sake of practice, which they met befuddled & were quick to praise my ability to communicate/intonate in their complicated speech.  They even went so far as to say that my speaking has a native’s accent & were super appreciative of my having taught myself over the last couple years.  A mutual encounter I cannot help but feel it was, & I remain grateful for their pleasant & inviting demeanors.  I climbed down the long stairwell of 1223 Rue Ste. Elisabeth once & for all & signaled for Uber to take me to the Longueil Metro.

I had arrived at the bus station with plenty of time to spare, having somewhat learned the errors of my ways.  I was serious about not wanting to cut anything close with such little time left for my returning flight home. I waited patiently at my gate for my bus to arrive & whisk me away back to the states for my 2:59 AM flight out of Plattsburgh, New York (Upstate).  Sadly, the bus’s arrival time came & went, & at the mention of the ticketing booth agent, I waited another 45 minutes for it.  Having received no notification of cancellation from the bussing company, no accurate updates on the whereabouts of the bus, & minute after minute shaving away from takeoff time, I was forced to call an Uber to pick me up from the metro station & take me to the border- this cost one-hundred Canadian dollars.  We stopped at an ATM, grabbed some snacks, & finally Ridaha & I were on our way.  A fruitful & insightful chat aided us along the drive, & I was able to disentangle much French from this nice Tunisian man.  An hour passed & we arrived at the U.S. border.

As the car pulled up to the border, U.S. Customs agents ordered repeatedly for my driver’s documentation.  A brief argument between an unsuspecting Ridaha & an extremely serious officer took place.  The very odd circumstances were eventually explained, Ridaha was directed to make a U-turn & head home while I exited the vehicle, grabbed my bags, & headed to the border patrol substation.  It was there that I was informed that I would need to call a cab (as Uber wasn’t functioning in this particular location), but to complicate matters drastically, the taxi services weren’t doing the ‘border run’ that night.  My heart fell into my stomach, & I had entered a phase of worry that I had yet to reach at any point along the trip.  Thankfully, one Officer Burdette walked me to the West Service Road behind the U.S. Border Patrol & Customs Champlain Station & pointed in the direction of the nearest place still open- a Peterbilt truck stop about a half mile down a pitch-black road.  He also made it a point to mention that if I attempted to hitchhike on main Highway 87, I would be arrested.  This oh so tangible road brought with it intangible emotion after emotion as I grappled with triumph & failure, each still hanging in the balance.  It had become very important outside of my own ambitions for me to make the plane & get home, & I was purely keen to not have loved ones worry about my wellbeing any longer.  A frantic mixture of skating & speed-walking got me to the Peterbilt stop, & by the grace of God, the taxi company agreed to send out a driver for me & get me to the airport from this largely equidistant pick-up point. While I waited in freezing temperatures in an Eddie Bauer peacoat on the side of the road at the smallest hour, another group of U.S. Customs agents spotted me & sought to question my being there.  They asked for identification & reasoning to which I was forthcoming.  They wished me well & left.

Thirty minutes later, a portly man of sound intelligence & world view taxied me to the Plattsburgh International Airport (after having stopped at an ATM for cash to pay him). I entered the empty airport at 2:30 AM for my 2:59 AM flight with the driver’s assurance that I’ll be able to get right through TSA & onto the plane.  More than sadly, he was mistaken.  The Spirit Airlines attendant had vacated his post thirty minutes before takeoff to aid the onboarding crew, as per policy, of course.  I rushed up to the barren TSA line & inquired about my chances of getting on the plane.  They responded that the flight door had already been closed, & that it was now an impossibility for me to board.  Needless to say, it was now impossible for me to get home on time, too. I felt I had fallen just short of a buzzer-beating victory that I had already affirmed to those who had expressed concern. I had begun to list the many variables that could have gone differently to get me on to that flight: 1) why didn’t my bus in Longueil show up or even notify me of cancellation? 2) why didn’t I deem the bus ride a lost cause sooner & get an Uber sooner? 3) why did we have to stop at an ATM so off-route when leaving Montreal? 4) Couldn’t they have held me & my driver up a bit less at the border? 5) Why couldn’t the taxi agency send someone a half-mile further than where they would eventually come to pick me up? 6) Why did this portly man with a good view of the world have to drive the speed limit? Would he have driven faster if I didn’t entertain his subjects? 7) Why the fuck does the agent at the airline counter leave the counter thirty minutes before a flight is scheduled to take off?

When the airline attendant did return, he was sympathetic to my cause & willing to help find a solution.  Employing a similar program to the one used at the beginning of the trip, he was able to book the exact flight for the following day free of charge.  This eased me greatly.  Questions & doubt lingered, but I soon picked my chin up & hopped in another cab headed for the America’s Best Value Inn. This would be my impromptu safe haven on this frigid Friday night, & I checked in at 3:30 AM.

DAY 8 - 3/21 - 0 miles

Today is my sister’s & my aunt’s shared birthday.  I wished dearly to be home by now next to my daughter, & to begin decompressing the week’s peaks & valleys. Yet, here I sit in the lobby of the cheap motel I spent last night in.  I’ve been in the same chair since 1:15 PM, & it is now 12:49 AM (with the exception of a few bathroom/water breaks & a brief standing up to accept ordered wings & garlic bread).  This unexpected & obligation-less window in time was spent formulating this transcript of a vacation I can confidently say will come to prove formative as life presses on.  One not soon to be forgotten, nor the lessons gained therein forsaken. My flight to Las Vegas via Fort Lauderdale, Florida & Dallas, Texas is due to leave in a couple hours.  With my lack of punctuality deeply ingrained, I resolve to close this memoir in saying that the constant struggle with mortality across Earth & in minds amidst these troubling waters was on full display in every city & each individual’s expression.  Death and Disease on the tongues of the media & man the world over, but life itself (outside of the biological & inside of the metaphorical sense) is to be explored & discovered lovingly… never to be shied away from or merely sustained.  With our collectively restricted circumstances reaching a fever pitch in what people can & cannot, should & should not, will & will not do, I resolve to digress & remain profoundly thankful for love, safety, health & home. 

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

THOUGHTS ON WWE UNCAGED XIV

First of all, I’m concerned. This is a LOOOONG album with some real winners but, like, I hope it isn’t the last. This is the first time they’ve really done it like this and I hope it isn’t a sign that they aren’t putting out anymore. These album drops are some of the musical highlights of my year. Second, I’m going to make this as clear as I can. For a casual fan? This album is GARBAGE. 2.5 hours or so of music with minimal lyrics and multiple versions of the same themes? No casual fan is ever going to listen to this album...

And that’s the beauty of it.

Finally, after 13 attempts, they realized their target audience.

Hardcore Theme Addicts.

See, here’s the thing. These themes? To the average, casual fan, they’re all boring, similar, or both. But to a hardcore nutjob theme addict, there are a TON of grails here. The Armageddon 2000 version of Triple H’s theme? (Labeled here as “Game Time”) That’s one of them. “Oh, What A Rush” which was an LOD 2000 theme? That’s another. I can guaran-damn-tee you every one of those Undertaker themes was on someone’s wish list. Almost every theme here is stupidly obscure and used either by a barely known talent or was a big name guy and only used a week or two. But most of these have been on people’s “NEEDED THEMES” list for ages now. So no, to the average person, this isn’t a good album, and it’s way *way* too long.

But to those of us who are downright obsessive about entrance music and want every single possible variation of every theme ever?

THIS IS BRILLIANT.

Other thoughts -

The WWE must have forgotten the password to it’s Music channel again. Not specifically related to this album, but frustrating nonetheless

When I was in high school, I tried to create a wrestling themes database on geocities. I’m bringing this up because somebody keeps labeling their tracks by years and PPVs rather then superstars and it’s bloody frustrating to have to track this shit down on YT. So, if someone could maybe get to work finishing what I started, maybe? THANKS.

If I never see another goddamn William Grantham comment on a YT video, it will be too soon.

That said, the bastard has been trolling YT Wrestling Theme vids for years now, you gotta respect the asshole’s dedication

I wasn’t watching WWE in the mid 2000′s but I get the distinct impression that the best thing about Mordecai was his theme

“Sympathizer” is 1:30 too long, and it’s a 2 minute track. I fucking hate sound effects tracks.

I don’t know if this is the first release we’ve gotten of the Spark Plug theme, I’ll have to look, but it’s nice to see Bob Holly get some attention

I see you releasing the 1997 Superstars theme. Now stop being cowards and release the 1999 version. You know, the one with Chris Warren.

There are 53 tracks on this album and ONE of them is a women’s theme. Come on guys, I’m aware you did an entire women’s album once, but you MUST have more women’s/diva’s themes laying around in the vault. If nothing else, give me an official release of the instrumental “Wrestlemania” theme that Linda used. (Not that I don’t have it, but it’d be nice to have for Spotify)

Techno. Give me Techno. #TechnoForUncagedXV

That said, if we’re going for “First Themes Ever” they really should release the OG Graveyard Symphony before they release Techno. All comments about “WWE Legend” aside, ‘Taker’s going in the HOF next year (I will eat my shoe if he doesn’t) and it’s about damn time we have the original track w/o voiceover

“Allied Commissioner” aka William Regal’s Alliance theme is woefully truncated. For anyone wondering, the version we get is less than a minute and, hey, we have the network, we have confirmed usage of it as a FULL THEME. The version we have here is something akin to a video game rip. Not the full theme and a little disappointing.

Speaking of the Alliance, did we ever get the “WCW INVASION!” theme that played every time Shane showed up and started shit? Because I think, in a way, that’s the only other one of his themes we haven’t gotten yet.

Nice of them to throw Tracy Smothers’ theme on here as a posthumous tribute

Two themes to watch out for - “Game Time” and “I’m Your Papi”... both of these are rare “transition” style tracks that marked a point between two other, well known tracks. “Game Time” falls between “My Time” and “The Game” for HHH, and “I’m Your Papi” falls between “Crackin” and “Lie, Cheat, Steal” for Eddie Guerrero. They’re pretty neat to hear and serve as a sort of missing link for the various themes.

There’s more I could talk about here, and damn I could ramble on about entrance themes all day, but this post is already far too long. Just know that I am praying for more releases in this style, hopefully one will drop around Wrestlemania next year. Or, maybe, royal rumble? Either way, MORE PLEASE!