#dinner etiquette

[yesterdaysprint]

A Manual of Etiquette with Hints on Politeness and Good Breeding, 1868

[kobikoachman]

5 Dining Etiquette Rules Every Man Should Abide By

5 Dining Etiquette Rules Every Man Should Abide By

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Jin Ling, when he was a toddler, was absolutely fascinated with Nie MingJue and insisted on following his shushu to all his *cough* business dinners.

It only stopped after he was introduced to Lan Xichen and started following his jiujiu to his *cough* business dinners instead!

[blackswaneuroparedux]

However grand our sacramental downsittings and updressings may be, they remain only and precisely sacraments: real presences, under particular signs, of the happier order that faith can discover under any and all signs. They're a bit like the church. As long as we see them as an earnest of the kingdom, they're all right; when we put on airs and act as if they were the kingdom itself, they look just silly.

- Robert Farrar Capon 

So I get asked about how to do a more formal dinner party by my followers. I don’t know what impression I’ve given to make people think that I am an expert but I shall endeavour to present some thoughts around my own beliefs and experiences. I’m sure there are some things I have left out or have temporarily escaped my mind, so do please bear with me.

It is sadly the case that the age of the formal dinner might be over for some but for others they bravely soldier on flying the flag for civilised discourse over dinner.

Yet the reality remains that for many, eating at home with friends or family, or even a volatile mix of the two, is still hugely popular and important. Even if one is throwing a casual dinner party with a laidback “I’m just doing a bit of food” nonchalance, it still needs to be navigated with careful sensitivity. 

My rough guide to a good dinner party:

Don’t become a victim of vaunting ambition. Assess your culinary skills and budget before tailoring your social dinner occasion to fit your capabilities. Under no circumstances attempt a maiden voyage. It might seem like a good idea to try a new recipe for your guests, but there are few things sadder than realising that the pork was supposed to have been butterflied by a butcher or rest for four hours...45 minutes before guests arrive.

Send invitations if you can. The more formal the dinner the better you should send an invitation. Make clear (on the invitation preferably) on the time of arrival so that guests are punctual. Except if you’re hosting a dinner party in France then expect French guests to arrive 15 minutes late. While in many countries this may be considered rude, in France this is a golden rule. It’s an unspoken agreement between the host and the guest because the host might be a little late preparing everything and the guest won’t want to embarrass the host by arriving early. Strangely this rule only applies to dinner parties and not for dinners at restaurants. Hmmm.

Make the nature of the dinner event absolutely clear to your guests. They will feel understandably annoyed if they turn up to a formal dinner in jeans and sneakers.

Make sure your drinks cabinet is well stocked. Don’t ever rely on your guests to bring anything. Make sure you choose a different wine to go with each course you are serving. But don’t get too hung up on the food and wine pairing - one can always ask the wine merchant who is both helpful and is dying to show off his knowledge.

Work out your timings. Don’t let drinks go on too long and ensure that food is ready when you call everyone to the table. 

Always have a seating plan. Even if it’s an informal one in your head, explain to your guests where you would like them to sit. Chemistry between guests is everything. Choose wisely.

Don’t apologise for the food being served. You made it. You own it. 

Remember that your primary role is to be the host/hostess. Attend to your guests at all times and don’t allow yourself to be drawn into an intimate tête à tête with someone. It’s rude to give one guest all the attention at the expense of others feeling a little adrift in their seat.

Play the diplomat at dinner. Lively conversation will no doubt wander to the realm of politics, and whether it’s divisive or just plain dull, a good hostess can re-route a boring or inelegant conversation deftly and effortlessly. The best way to steer the conversation if it strays too deeply into politics, religion, or someone’s burgeoning sex life is to politely interject and offer, “Sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if I could get everyone’s opinion on X,” and people will be happy to oblige. You invite people into a topic that’s about you and it’s a clear note to the offenders to change course. Important to note also it is perhaps the only time you ever make yourself the subject of the conversation. The role of the hostess is to move the conversation along effortlessly without becoming the centre of attention.

Deploy subtle hints by asking if anyone would like: cups of coffee, offers of taxi service or spare beds, if the evening is going on too long.

Don’t let the guests do dishes - unless they're related to you or they're psychotically compulsive. If they are neither, you might be calling their bluff on an empty offer, and then you've made your guest use your ratty sponge, which is not a very gracious experience.

Most of all, breathe and relax. It will all go swimmingly. Just enjoy yourself.

Bon appétit!

[thatsbelievable]

[chichiscloset]

Table and Dining Etiquette Tips for Elegant Women

Our dining habits reveals a lot about ourselves, attitude, and how we are perceived by others. Good table manners, as well as dining etiquette, are required qualities for every elegant feminine woman.

What are dining etiquette & manners?

Dining etiquette and manners are basic rules for behaviour around the table. The way we eat, the way we sit, the way we treat others, and even the type of conversations we hold are all part of table etiquette and manners.

Table etiquette around the world

You should be aware that dining etiquette can vary a great deal around the world. Different cultures have different norms and rules. When you travel abroad, or as a guest, make an effort to learn and follow the local table manners.

Top 3 Table and Dining Etiquette tips

1.Switch your phone off

When you dine with others, you should always focus on communication and conversation. Constantly checking your phone can imply that you are more interested in your device than in the people around you. Don’t be rude!

If you have an urgent call that you cannot miss, politely excuse yourself from the table and take the call to another room.

2.Wait until everyone is served before you eat

It is important to wait until everyone has been served before eating any of your food. Take time to consider the feelings of those around you and wait before eating. If you are dining with family, friends, or your significant other, this rule applies.

3.Place the napkin on your lap

When you are sitting in a restaurant or any formal event, the first thing you should do after being seated is to put your napkin on your lap. Remember, once the napkin is on your lap it should never be placed on the table again. If you need to excuse yourself and leave the table for a moment, place the napkin on your chair until you get back. Before you leave the table – once the meal is finished – place the napkin delicately to the left of your plate.

Stay tuned for part 2! We'll be going further in depth on the American, British and Conteniental styles of dinning etticate

[oceancentury]

Hosting 101 with Lady Catton (Rosamund Pike) in Saltburn (2023), dir. Emerald Fennell.

[arthur-r]

okay so how do you make friends in college..

[keepinventory]

i feel like such a prissy princess whenever i mildly complain about doing things after work -_-

[yesterdaysprint]

A Manual of Etiquette with Hints on Politeness and Good Breeding, 1868

[bbibbirose]

I switched from wanting smtg perfect to wanting smtg real

[deus-ex-mona]

iconifies your aroace idol

[jungwookjins]

just had the worst time at graduation dinner w my family and my roommate’s family :/

[blackswaneuroparedux]

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely. 

- Somerset Maugham

[thatsbelievable]