#do i actually hate this fic and am i gonna delete in after 3 days? probably who knows

[cadavercowboy]

Business As Usual

Pairing: Stepfather!Nick Fowler x Reader

Summary: If you go looking for attention, Nick is going to give it to you...but it’ll be on his terms.

Word Count: 8.2k+

Warnings: Explicit content (18+ only). It’s utterly OOC because this was just an excuse for me to write porn. Stepfather/daughter relationship (it’s ‘I Have Severe Daddy Issues’ o’clock!). Cheating. Manipulation. Implied gaslighting. Dub-con elements. Degradation/humiliation. Hand kink? Spit kink. Choking. Oral sex. Vaginal penetration. Over-stimulation. Face slapping. Forced orgasm. Multiple orgasms. Forced creampie. Nick is an asshole.

A/N: A lot of this is Zee’s fault. It’s somehow always Zee’s fault. I’m also placing full blame on this, the first of the many phases of the 2022 DILF-ication of our boy. He’s giving Dad™ and I’m giving up!

Excitement and nervousness tangle ferociously in the gaping pit that has opened deep in your belly as the sound of the front door shutting echoes through the house. Your mother is off to run some errands, thus leaving you with only the company of your haughty and moody stepfather, Nick. Though you’ve been waiting for what feels like weeks for this exact circumstance, now that the fantasy has become a reality, you have to admit you’re beginning to feel quite intimidated. 

A recent interaction with the formidable man has left you with an uncharacteristic confidence and an unshakable, stubborn determination to win his affections. At first, you’d doubted your own perception of the events and convinced yourself that you’re slightly delusional. But in the following days — given the heated, tense looks and the subtle touches — you could doubt it no longer: Nick was flirting with you. The idea that he had shown an interest in you lit a fire within you and you’re powerless to deny the desire you feel to garner his attention again. 

You wring your hands in your lap before launching to your feet and pacing restlessly through your bedroom. What if Nick is downstairs, fully aware that you’re practically crawling out of your skin trying to muster the courage to go get what you want from him? No, you’re just overthinking this. There’s no way he knows what you’re planning. Right?

Downstairs, Nick drags a firm hand through his short hair and sighs in annoyance. The constant thumping of your feet overhead is driving him crazy. For 20 minutes he’s listened to you track back and forth, back and forth. He wonders if you plan to stop anytime soon or whether you’re going to carry on until you wear a hole right through the floorboards. He tosses his head back with a grunt, trying to refrain from storming up there to scold you for being such a distraction to his work. 

Your fists clench and release at your sides, the muscles bunching with agitation as you mentally build the fortitude to overcome your apprehension. If you wait any longer, any bravery you’ve amassed is going to ooze and seep from your pores, disappearing as quickly as it came. With a sharp inhale, you check your appearance in the mirror and stride to the door. As swiftly as you move, you make sure to do so without making a sound; tiptoeing down the staircase, you keep in mind how much Nick hates it when you’re too loud. The house is silent and empty, not a single noise to indicate Nick’s location, although you know precisely where you’ll find him.

Even on his days off, Nick spends pretty much all of his time in his office. Being a federal agent is a demanding job to be sure, but Nick takes his job more seriously than most and there’s practically never a moment when he isn’t working. Still bearing in mind Nick’s intolerance for interruption, it takes a minute for you to work up the nerve to rap your knuckles against the door. You remind yourself yet again that you’re being ridiculous. You’re his stepdaughter, surely he won’t be upset with you for wanting to speak with him. At least you hope so.

The moment your knock reverberates off the heavy wooden door, Nick's velvety voice calls out to you and immediately grants you permission to enter. Anxiety grips you once again and you find yourself questioning your own sanity. Maybe you had misread the signs. This is wrong on several levels for many reasons and if you end up having in fact misjudged Nick’s intentions, you’re going to suffer an embarrassment you may never recover from. You shake your head as if to dispel the very thought, then take a deep breath before you twist the knob and ease the door open with a long, low creak.

Inside, you find Nick facing the tall windows behind his desk with his broad back turned towards you. Although he’d been working, you’re surprised to find Nick without his customary crisp dress shirt and dark slacks. Instead, he wears a navy patterned button-down over a gray long-sleeved tee; the outfit is complete with gray pants and a pair of overly-clean sneakers. It’s an odd combination, but you suppose this is his idea of casual attire.

At the sound of the door clicking shut behind you, Nick turns to stare at you over his shoulder. His dark brows are lowered slightly, his expression unreadable but ominous nonetheless. He seems perturbed…then again, he usually does.

Perhaps now is not the most opportune moment for you to make a move on him. The icy pools of his irises scan from your feet to your face, taking in every inch of you before glaring into your eyes. His jaw ticks rhythmically and the hands buried in his pockets rustle quietly before he beckons to you with a growled command to come further into the room.

One corner of Nick’s mouth quirks when your feet instantly begin moving, your steps quick and eager. Something about your desperation to please him has always made his cock swell a bit and today is certainly no different. Your cautious eyes peer up at him through your lashes, blinking dumbly as you stand before him expectantly and your legs subconsciously rub together. The motion catches his attention and his gaze shifts lower to observe the cute dress you’re wearing. 

The outfit is undoubtedly due to a recent compliment he’d given you about a similar garment; you’ve been wearing dresses rather frequently ever since. He wonders if you’re aware of how you attempt to please him even with the most subtle and unconscious choices you make. You don’t even realize how easily you bend to his will.

“Did you need something?” Nick inquires shortly, raising a brow as he observes you across the room, still seemingly hesitant and determined to keep a distance.

You shift your weight, swallowing with some trouble as you try to find your voice. 

“I wanted to see what you were doing.”

You cringe both inwardly and outwardly, realizing how terribly silly the words sound; resembling those of a lonely child, dependent on someone else to quell their boredom. Nick almost appears to smile before his lips press into a firm, thin line. He drops his eyes as he gathers several folders and documents into a pile and taps them against the desk to align them into a neat stack.

“I’m working.” The answer cracks through the air like a whip. “I have a job to do and unfortunately, that doesn’t include babysitting or entertaining you.”

He may as well have slapped you across the face considering the way you visibly flinch at the venomously offered words. Nick’s tone is one you’re familiar with — the glacial and sharp nuance of a man prone to sour moods and bouts of utter impatience. You suppose this is to your benefit; Nick’s obvious annoyance has sapped all your confidence, drawing it from within you like a sponge. Maybe it will save you from inevitable embarrassment after all.

Your lungs deflate along with every hope you had of following through with this thoughtless endeavor. Of course Nick isn’t interested in you, he can barely stand the sight of you most days; he was simply being kind in a rare moment of affection and you’re a fool for making anything more of it. Nick watches you with glee, glorifying in the self-conscious way you smooth your hands over your dress and nibble uncomfortably at your lower lip. He’s got you right where he wants you, and when you turn on your heel — surely to abscond from the room in an exodus of shame — he calls to you.

“Come over here,” he orders with surprising softness. 

It’s impossible to mask your shock as you twirl back in his direction, your skirt swishing gently around your bare thighs. Your eyes lock with Nick’s as a brief battle of wills commences. He clearly expects your obedience and something about that makes you want to stomp away all the more. But you’ve already set this half-assed plan in motion and you may never get another chance to go after what you want. What harm could it do to give in to Nick?

Nick’s handsome face twists into a smirk and something mischievous glows in his light eyes as he watches you approach with caution. Your fingers glide along the polished edge of the desk and you grip the wood as if needing to brace yourself, as if keeping the hefty piece of furniture between the two of you is going to save you from him. You pause a few feet away from Nick, but that’s not good enough for him. With a flick of his eyes to the ground before him, he silently directs you to close the small distance. 

Your feet come to a stop mere inches from Nick’s much larger ones, your bare toes scrunching anxiously against the cool floorboards beneath them. Though Nick continues smiling victoriously down at you, you raise your head defiantly and meet his gaze without hesitation. The confident charade is almost convincing, but when he reaches for you, you crumble instantaneously. 

“You pick this out just for me?” Nick ponders, dragging his fingers over the thin strap that sits snugly against your shoulder.

A snort of laughter escapes him when you smirk shyly and shrug your shoulders noncommittally. Even as your eyes shift to the ground, he can see the blatantly hopeful expression on your pretty face and it almost makes him pity you. You couldn’t lie to him even if you tried. Nick tugs at the strap’s stretchy fabric and allows it to snap back against your skin.

“It’s a real pretty dress. I like it,” Nick murmurs, making a point of giving your body a once over. “I like the way you look in it.”

Your cheeks warm slightly and a subtle heat thrums between your thighs. The room suddenly seems to spin as you’re overwhelmed with excitement from just a few simple words. Nick’s admission is all it takes for you to gain back every ounce of confidence you’d come stumbling in here with. You rock forward onto the balls of your feet and boldly place your palms against Nick’s torso, just above his firm abdomen. As your hands glide over the soft material of his shirt and venture towards his chest, you implore your brain to come up with something clever to say.

“What do you like about it?” you ask in your best seductive voice.

Nick would be impressed with your audacity if not for the timid way you refuse to look at him now. Something unrighteous in him gleans great pleasure from seeing you struggle with what you want, with what you’re too afraid to ask for. He knew you’d be easy to manipulate, he just wasn’t expecting it to be this easy. Knowing what a vulnerable spot he’s got you in, he perfectly executes the next step of this iniquitous game of push and pull.

His strong hands wrap firmly around your wrists, the warmth pleasant and favorable until he applies more and more pressure. Nick squeezes your joints with bruising force, tutting at you as if you’ve done something wrong. He uses his grip on your arms to yank you off balance, gathering the limbs in one of his large hands to hold you against his body as he leans close to your ear.

“You want a man’s approval so badly…is that it, little girl?” he taunts with a mean-spirited whisper. “Just crave their attention.”

Shame ignites a fresh wave of heat in your cheeks upon hearing Nick’s cruel response. It isn’t the first time he’s implied that you have a desperate need for acceptance from the men in your life. On occasions when he’s being especially malicious, he’s even gone as far as mentioning that maybe if you were better behaved and more compliant, perhaps your father would not have abandoned you and your poor, innocent mother. Nick knew that particularly savage barb would only make you more malleable to his wishes and it’s a tactic he’s learned to use sparingly though strategically. 

Nick studies you as your wavering fortitude crumbles to bits and your eyes gloss over with an abundance of moisture. He’s elated to see how much his comment has affected you. The more he plants the seed of your need for male attention and acceptance, the greater the benefit he receives from the crop it yields when you continue to prove him right. You’ll do anything just to earn his literal and figurative embrace, which is precisely what he wants.

“Well, you sure know how to get it,” Nick sneers hotly against the shell of your ear, punctuating the insult with a rogue hand sneaking under your short skirt to grip the soft flesh of your ass.

Your voice cracks around a soft moan that is muffled by the fingers buried up to the knuckles in your mouth. No matter how hard you press your tongue against the intrusive digits, Nick merely applies more pressure to the slick muscle, shoving his fingers even further until you audibly gag around them. He keeps you settled in his lap with your head tipped down so your watery eyes remain on him. You can hear the sound of his other hand working furiously around his cock, which is exposed through the fabric of the slacks that hang open around his trim hips.

Saliva coats the length of his fingers and the slender digits slip and slide against one another as he pumps them into your open mouth. A flood of drool dribbles down your chin as your jaw hangs open and a thin stream begins to trickle across Nick’s wrist, running along his sinewy arm and creating a dark splotch on the bunched sleeve of his shirt. You struggle to breathe through your nose with your stepfather’s hand practically stuffed down your throat, gagging until tears spill from your eyes. Nick clicks his tongue, eyebrows furrowed piteously as he slowly drags his whorled fingertips over your taste buds.

You manage to draw in a much-needed breath before sniffling and coughing harshly. Nick’s fingers glide over your lower lip, pulling it down and letting it flop back in place before his thumb sweeps through the moisture on your chin. He collects most of your residual spit on his fingers, then drops his hand to his lap to smear the saliva along the tip of his cock; the reddened flesh already shiny with pre-cum as he switches hands to viciously fuck his wet fist, inadvertently bouncing you in his lap with each jostling movement of his hips.

With the hand previously wrapped around his length, he reaches up to grab your face, his palm still overly warm from the friction. He squeezes your cheeks until your mouth puckers and he chuckles at how stupid you look. Stupid and absolutely debauched given the thick splatters of cum that cling to the tip of your nose, your brow, and your cheekbones from when he’d jerked off over your pretty face earlier.

Evidently, Nick hadn’t taken too kindly to being slapped and called an asshole in response to his teasing if the ensuing events were anything to go by. You ended up on your knees, under an onslaught of insults and degradation as Nick pleasured himself above you; being taught a lesson you’d surely not forget. He had every intention of stopping things there before it went too far, but when he saw your hopeful excitement as his cum spilled across your skin and coated your features, something in him snapped. There was no hope of holding himself back from showing you precisely how you could earn a man’s approval.

“Are you my good girl?” Nick rasps as his fingers gather the sticky white remnants from your heated skin.

Your eyes light up as you nod eagerly and he half expects you to start panting with your tongue lolling out like an over-excited puppy. Tapping his knuckles against your mouth, he raises a single brow and you obediently part your lips. He shoves his cum-slathered digits inside and — without even having to be told — you seal your mouth shut around his fingers and suck; your tongue sliding between each one to slurp his seed enthusiastically. When he tries to pull his hand away, you’re quick to wrap both of yours around his wrist, keeping his arm in place so you can lick and suck at his salty skin.

All the while, Nick still pumps his cock rhythmically. The slick friction created by the lubrication of your saliva is rapidly sending him hurtling towards another orgasm. He tips his head back, teeth digging into his lower lip and eyes hooded as his thighs spasm beneath you. You don’t know what comes over you, but you find yourself scooting closer and closer to Nick, fitting your pelvis above his and tilting your hips towards the sizable erection in his hand.

You take his long fingers even deeper until your mouth is stretched painfully around the thick digits and you’re salivating uncontrollably. Each time you whimper and suck harder against his fingers, Nick grunts in response; his abs tightening and rippling under his gray shirt as his orgasm fast approaches. He’s so caught up in imagining how your lips would feel wrapped around him that he misses the way your weight shifts then disappears altogether as you slide off his thighs and drop to the ground between his feet.

The sheer length and girth of Nick’s cock is daunting from this perspective, but you’re determined not to let that deter you. Not when you’re this close to what you were after. Your eyes are locked onto Nick’s strong hand, entranced by the way his tanned fingers tug up and down the smooth skin of his erection. Your mouth waters. 

Licking your lips in anticipation at the sinful sight, it’s torture to watch Nick slide his fist along the thick shaft that bounces only inches from your face and do nothing about it. With yet another uncharacteristic rush of bravery, you lean in and sweep your tongue over a prominent vein that runs the length of Nick’s straining shaft, not caring when his knuckles catch your sensitive lip and pinch it against your teeth. The moment the tip of your tongue makes contact with Nick’s member, his eyes whip open and he curls forward, immediately wrapping a hand around your throat to force you backwards.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hisses, fingers pulsing against the delicate length of your neck as he shakes you slightly then pulls you close enough that the sharp tip of his nose brushes yours.

“Please,” you mewl pathetically, putting on your best puppy dog eyes as you beg.

The wavering, pleading tone of your voice nearly brings him to his knees. Any chance he had of stopping this runaway train before it derails and lands you both in trouble flies out the window. You shatter every remaining bit of his self control with a single whimpered word, although he has no plans of allowing you to maintain that power.

“Did you want something, sweet girl?” Nick coos, the soft and sympathetic tone he uses belying the angry, sinful fire in his crystalline eyes.

He slides his wide palm along your neck until it cradles the back of your head and your stomach flips with excitement, believing that Nick is finally going to allow you to take him into your wanting mouth. You arch forward with cautious eyes, craning your neck until you’re inches from his crotch so there can be no doubt about what you want. Your tongue has barely snuck past your shiny lips before Nick takes himself in hand and slaps the hot flesh of his cock across your cheek.

“Stupid little thing…doesn’t even know how to use her words,” he barks as he drags the weeping tip along your lips, holding fast against your skull so that you cannot possibly get close enough to suck his dick. “So fuckin’ impatient, you could barely even wait for your mother to leave the house. I know you were upstairs creaming those girly little panties just thinking about how you were gonna get your own stepfather to touch you, hmm? Thought you’d flaunt your ass a little so you could get some attention, is that it?”

Through his tirade of humiliating words, you’re still fighting against his grip to get your mouth on him. You don’t even care whether or not his insults are true, the only thing on your mind is tasting him. And besides…he’s the one who flirted with you, otherwise you wouldn’t even be here. You hope your stubborn antics entice Nick…make him appreciate your need to please him. All you can focus on is satisfying him. All you can think about is making him feel good. Isn’t that enough to earn his affection?

When your lips touch Nick’s hand and nearly brush against his length, he shifts one leg and plants the sole of his sneaker squarely against your chest. He extends the limb, his strong calf muscle bunching and bulging beneath his pants as he sends you toppling onto your back. Your elbows knock against the wooden floor with a resounding thud and the air leaves your lungs in a dramatic rush.

“Look at you, you’re pathetic,” Nick observes nastily as he stands from his chair to tower over you. He leans over and grabs your chin firmly, yanking you up onto your knees so that he can slap his cock against your cheek again, then slide the pulsing tip between your lips. “This what you wanted? You wanted daddy in your mouth, huh?”

With your lips stretched wide around his girth and your tongue immobile beneath the weight of his cock, you can only hum in confirmation. The way he speaks to you makes you squirm in the most disgraceful way; a stark reminder of how wrong this is and how dirty you feel behaving this way with your stepfather.

Nick thrusts his hips and his length reaches the back of your throat with such force that tears begin to seep from your eyes. The moan that escapes around the appendage stuffed in your mouth causes Nick to inhale loudly, the air hissing through his perfect teeth as his length twitches against your tongue.

“You look so good down there,” Nick pants with a rare show of genuine praise. “Exactly where you belong…on your knees like a worthless whore, choking on daddy’s fat fucking cock.”

He grows painfully hard as you whine around him and desperately fight to breathe, battling your gag reflex to take every inch of him without choking. You swallow him down in earnest; licking, slurping, and gagging as you do your best to impress the dominant man. Your display of unabashed corruption threatens to make Nick explode then and there, something he has no intention of doing without first being buried deep inside you.

Crouching down, Nick grabs you by your hair and pulls your head back at an extreme angle that forces you to lose your balance and topple over. He comes with you, bracing one hand beside your head as he hovers threateningly over you. When he settles between your legs, his bare cock rubs deliciously against your panty-clad mound and you suck in a breath. The friction is enough to wreak havoc on Nick’s nearly non-existent restraint, but when he glances down, the sight he’s met with makes his head spin: a wetness darkening the crotch of your innocent-looking cotton panties that unleashes something feral in him. 

Nick wedges his huge hands under your armpits and drags you up with him as he stands back up. As dreadfully heavy as his balls are with the need to bury himself in your pussy as soon as possible, he’s not going to fuck you on the floor like some horny, overzealous teenager. The squeak you let out as he drops you heavily on his desk and the plastic cap of a pen digs into the softness of your ass is adorable, but that’s not what Nick is thinking about. His entire attention is focused on shoving the fabric of your dress up and out of his way, the harsh tugging of your clothing making you shoot your hands out behind you in order to remain upright. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? Look how wet you are,” Nick spits through clenched teeth, scolding you as if you’ve done something offensively wrong.

Now your cheeks are positively melting with a blazing inferno of shame and you turn your head away, too embarrassed to watch the way his eyes focus between your trembling thighs. Nick is breathing laboriously above you, fingers trembling with the need to rip away the thin scrap of material that hides you from him. If he isn’t buried deep within the tight heat of your pussy right now, he fears his head may explode — both of them. He can’t possibly hold back any longer.

You flinch slightly at the first rough contact of Nick’s knuckles brushing your sensitive folds as he yanks your panties to one side. His pupils swallow the remnants of his cold, blue irises at the sound of your breathless gasp and the sight of your soaked cunt. He paws mindlessly at his pants which still hang loosely at his hips, shoving them lower along with his boxers so that his skin is exposed to mid-thigh.

Suddenly you’re panicking while Nick situates himself between your thighs and forces them open to make room for his large body. His cock bobs between you, bouncing dangerously close to your center. Sure, you’ve given this plenty of thought, but it was nothing more than a fantasy; never in your wildest dreams did you imagine it actually becoming a reality.

Though you shuffle awkwardly along the slippery surface of Nick’s desk, he’s quick to latch his large hands around the underside of your thighs as he squeezes the soft flesh and pulls you back to the edge. Your heart skips a beat when he bends at the waist, his lips only inches from your pulsing core. The thought of his mouth devouring and pleasuring you has you panting and quaking, the warm wetness of the saliva he spits forcefully against your pussy has you gulping loudly. Hips wriggling and restless, your mouth suddenly grows dry with unease when Nick stands at his full height and shoves you until you’re forced to take your weight on your elbows while he angles your pelvis up towards him.

Typically, Nick would warm his girl up and at least prepare her a little, but he simply doesn’t have the patience to do that for you. So desperate and ready to take you — to make you take him — after seeing you behave with such depravity. Your eyes widen and your jaw falls slack as his cock sits heavily atop your pubic bone and the silky firmness drags against your own flesh as he fits the bulbous head directly over your throbbing clit. 

The heat of his massive appendage sears you, sending bolts of lightning through every inch of your body as you prepare for the initial discomfort of his length breaching you. You expect Nick to take his time and slowly push into you considering how large he is, but he doesn’t allow you that courtesy. Offering no concern for your pleasure, Nick shifts his hips and inserts the blunt head of his cock into you, though he has no intention of stopping there. He doesn’t think you deserve to be treated with care, he knows you don’t really want to be.

You’re certainly wet enough to ease the entrance of his thick member, however without first stretching you out, your pussy is clenched so tightly around him that he can’t fit more than an inch or two inside. He proceeds without pause, not giving you a moment to adjust and you whine in protest; a sound which Nick takes as beseeching encouragement.

“My needy little girl,” he murmurs. “You wanna be stuffed full…don’t you, baby? Just want someone to love you, poor thing.”

Although the words are cooed softly, they’re teasing, taunting, and heavy with condescension. Ignoring your whimpers of objection, Nick seeks to give you just what he’s accused you of wanting. With several pointed thrusts of his hips, he manages to feed you a few more inches until you’re crying out with the aching pressure between your thighs. He shifts and leans even more of his weight into you, causing you to groan in a way that has him smiling wickedly. He’s decided he’s waited long enough to have you.

Paying no mind to any discomfort or pain it may cause, Nick slams his hips forward and with one swift and fluid motion, he’s bottomed out. The intense burning stretch prompts a howl to part your lips and your head slams into the surface of the desk when your arms can no longer bear your weight. Before you have a chance to recover from Nick’s harsh filling of your tight pussy, he attempts to pull out, your rippling walls making it somewhat difficult for him.

“Tight little snatch doesn’t wanna let me go,” he puffs hotly, strong hands digging fervidly into your waist as he drags his cock slowly from your body.

Unable to handle another forceful drive like the last, you squirm beneath Nick and try to wiggle away from the pulsating dick that rests just within your clenching channel. He merely smirks at your distress and fails to hold back a ridiculing scoff. The hands braced along your torso journey upwards towards your breasts, then under your body where they curl around your shoulders from behind. Nick takes one long inhale before he digs his fingers into your skin and slams your hips into his, forcing your body to accommodate his incredible girth.

Your mouth opens on a silent scream and tears trickle from the corners of your eyes. Though Nick’s brutal treatment is overwhelming, your ears are ringing with how inexplicably good it feels. With your pussy squeezing and oozing around him, you know it won’t take much for you to explode regardless of how rough he’s being with you. The stimulation against your clit from the coarse hairs at the base of his cock as he presses as deep as he possibly can has you clawing your nails into the wood beneath you. Your body shakes uncontrollably and you circle your hips, not sure if you’re trying to escape the sensation or scramble closer to it.

Nick repeats the motion until he’s so deep it hurts and you feel as though your muscles are cramping. The pain and pleasure wash over you in equal and immense waves, rendering you incapable of coherent thought. Your body moves mindlessly when you reach out to brace your palms against Nick’s stomach in a wordless bid for him to back off and the stinging slap across your cheek sends you hurtling right back down to Earth.

His face is worryingly angry now and it makes you want to cower. With nowhere to go, all you can do is mewl helplessly when he yanks one of your thighs around his pelvis and shoves the other leg towards your chest. The position has you completely exposed, your leaking pussy on full display as he splits you open with his cock. A jarring soreness blossoms from where his swollen cock stabs persistently against your tender cervix. Your damp palms slap noisily against the hard surface beneath you as you try to drag your body away in search of some relief.

“You wanted this so bad, don’t run from it now,” Nick hisses, pinning your hips down as he begins to fuck into you savagely. “What did you expect me to do when you came in here batting your eyes and practically dripping on my floors? If you didn’t want daddy to fuck you like a little tramp, you really shouldn’t have done that.”

Nick pounds into you so hard that your tear-filled eyes roll back and you’re moaning in the most unbecoming way. Your throat is dry and raw and you know you’re moments away from what is beginning to feel like the best orgasm you’ve ever had. When your eyes return to their rightful place, they clash with Nick’s and your brows furrow as you’re met with staggering pleasure at the passionate, lustful heat that burns there. 

As he pounds into your sweet, slippery pussy, Nick tries to ignore how your face is crinkled in ecstasy as you watch him with blatant adoration. Admittedly, the pornographic way you’re responding has him hardening noticeably, but that doesn’t matter. Staring into your wide and doting eyes, he doesn’t want you to think he gives a shit about your pleasure. This isn’t special to him.

Crashing a clammy palm against your cheek, Nick forces your head to the side with jolting swiftness. He wrangles your legs while still fucking into you and manages to skillfully flip you over onto your stomach. With your thighs pressed together in this position, Nick feels impossibly large and the sensation of unbearable fullness has drool trickling from your parted lips.

“Please...oh god,” you choke out, the words slurring out from your slack mouth. “I can’t, daddy. It hu—.”

“Hurts?” he barks, cutting you off. “It hurts? Good. That’s good, baby. That’s what you need.”

As your hands scramble for purchase and your upper body slides across the desk with each punishing forward motion of Nick’s hips, you scatter the stack of papers he had so neatly gathered earlier. A sheet clings to your sweaty palm and another slips under your face as you rest your burning cheek against the cool wood. With tears flowing and drool dribbling steadily from your lips, pools of liquid gather and begin to smear the black ink of the presumably important document you lay upon. You shove the paper away from your sticky face and Nick catches sight of the smudged type, slamming a palm down on the ruined document.

“You’re making a fucking mess of my work,” he growls, lifting and then shoving your head so that your skull thunks against the desk. “Maybe I should make a mess of this pretty pussy. Huh? Should I?”

All you can do is whine pitifully in response; you’re too scared of angering Nick further and given the way he pins you in place and buries his cock all the way to the root, you’re utterly mindless. With a sharp slap on your ass and a powerful thrust, you’re finally hit with a rattling orgasm that forces you to lose control of your body. Your arms flail wildly at your sides and your knees shake and buckle as your pussy spasms with release. 

“Nasty slut…creaming all over my cock like that,” Nick grunts, revealing his own wavering control as he grits the words through clenched teeth. “Such a bad, bad girl.”

His words embarrass you and you wonder whether you are a bad person for getting off on this. Tears spill rapidly and you sniffle as you choke back a blubbering cry while Nick still grinds unwaveringly against your backside, fucking you through your orgasm until you grow horribly sensitive. All the while, he continues berating you, shaming you for letting him fuck you and for finding release on your stepfather’s cock.

“I’m s-s-sorry,” you stutter pathetically, your broken sobs only fueling Nick’s hunger to destroy you wholly.

Another swift slap halts your warbled words as Nick palms your face and presses it firmly into the desk, forcing your cheek into the puddle of drool you’ve left beneath yourself. You try to squirm out of his hold and away from the cold, slick mess, but he’s relentless and easily keeps you in place. Following a whine of protest, Nick leans in to spit harshly in your face. The hot saliva slips over your nose and lips before joining yours on the desk below.

“Lick it up,” he demands, pressing more intently on the hand braced against your face. 

Your jaw vibrates and lips quiver as you begrudgingly open your mouth and the tip of your tongue peeks out. Nick grows impatient and slaps you once more, prompting you to obey his orders more quickly. He watches with rapt interest as your tongue sweeps through your combined saliva. The obscene sight finally halts his gyrating hips and he tucks his pelvis snugly against your own as he sees you obediently lapping at the puddle.

“That’s it, there you go,” he purrs, his cock retracting with surprising ease until he’s nearly slipped free from your soaked pussy. “Maybe your real daddy would have stayed if he knew what a good girl you can be.”

“Nick, p-please,” you beg as you twirl your hips in search of more friction; seeking out the feeling of him buried back inside you. 

You’re so close and — with all shame long forgotten in the heat of your neediness — you want nothing more than for the man who serves as the only father figure in your life to make you cum. It’s undignified and it’s sinful, but you are far beyond caring. Nick answers your unspoken question with both force and fervor, slamming so deep and hard into your depths that your pussy produces an embarrassingly wet squelch and your juices splash against your thighs and his.

“Guess you couldn’t make him stick around by showing him what a well-trained whore you are, huh? But you had no issue trying that shit on me. Thought that would fill the void, didn’t you? Fucking your own goddamn stepdad,” Nick rambles, growling and mindless as he stuffs and stretches you to your absolute limit. 

His hands claw at your bare shoulders until they both eventually find purchase around your delicate throat. Angling you up, he crushes your smaller form to his firm chest, his hot breath brushing past your over-heated cheeks as he pants rapidly against the shell of your ear. Sweat drips down his forehead and lands on your collarbone before trickling along your cleavage. His warm lips brush your sensitive earlobe when he snarls his next words.

“Tell me…is there anything fatherly about the way I’m giving you this cock?”

The sound that erupts from your chest is that of a wounded animal; distressed and bleating. Seemingly fueled by your agonized noises and the sheer wrongness of his own words, Nick pounds harder into you with a renewed vigor as he brutishly slams your chest forward and pins you against his desk once more. 

He plants his feet beside yours and practically climbs on top of you as something animalistic and carnal blooms within him. Nothing matters to him except the rabid desire to overpower you and fill you full of his seed. The very thought of watching his thick cream drip from your used body has his head spinning and his dick swelling so much you squeal with discomfort. 

Your pelvis bumps painfully into the sharp edge of the desk and though you know the soft flesh will surely bruise, you can’t focus on anything but how full you feel. Before you have a chance to beg Nick for mercy, an oppressive heat begins between your legs and your stomach lurches. 

“F-fuck, I think I’m gonna—”

You aren’t given the chance to finish the statement before Nick is preventing the words from emitting from your lips. He slams a heavy palm over your mouth, fingers digging into your cheekbones as he leans in close.

“Shut up, I don’t fucking care,” he grunts. “Don’t wanna hear you…don’t wanna hear your fuckin’ mouth. Just wanna hear how fucking soaked this pussy is. She wants my cock so fuckin’ bad…just stay still for me and take it.”

He punctuates the notion with several determined thrusts which fill the room with the sound of your wetness and the deplorable smacking of colliding flesh. With your fingers and toes curling along with your arching spine, a blinding orgasm overcomes you. Your legs shake as your core constricts until Nick can barely move, though that doesn’t prevent him from trying. 

Among a litany of loud curses — his voice sharp and strained — Nick fucks into you with harsh but shallow movements; your trapped moans further dampen his sweaty palm as he muffles your pleasured exhalations. His cock spears your sore cunt, every ridge and vein lightning your nerve endings on fire with each drag of the hard flesh. 

A garbled sound claws its way up Nick’s throat and you know what’s about to happen. You try helplessly to shift away and force him to pull out, although when he snatches your wrists and pins them against your lower back with both of his hands, his full body weight laid over top of yours, you know it's of no use.

Every pulse and twitch of his cock has you inching towards another orgasm as each muscle in your own body tremors with exertion. Just when you’re about to tumble over the precipice, Nick ceases moving altogether. All you can do is lie there and take it while Nick explodes with an echoing roar, his engorged cock throbbing as he floods your sopping pussy and drenches your womb with ropes of his hot cum. You begin to writhe beneath him, uttering a hoarse whine that quickly morphs into a cry of desperation. 

“Don’t stop,” you plead, almost in tears.

He continues releasing into your pliant body, a shudder coursing through him as his cock jerks, still buried balls deep in your messy cunt. You manage to free your wrists from Nick’s grip, but he refuses to let you up. Even picking up on the distant sound of the front door opening then rattling shut, he won’t move. Your blood runs cold when you hear your mother’s swift approach, her keys jingling loudly with every determined step. 

A sigh of relief escapes you once she passes and detours towards the kitchen, however that moment of calmness is short-lived as Nick ruts insistently against you. Although his cock softens within your silken walls, it remains swollen enough to stimulate you with every pump of his hips. Your peep of surprise prompts his over-sensitive cock to jump and he grinds into you with purpose. He swore not to care about your pleasure, but he longs to watch you fall apart for a third time. He needs you to cum for him again.

“Better be quiet, little girl,” Nick warns, curling over you and inserting three long fingers into the moist recess of your mouth as he humps weakly against you. “Unless you want your mother to come in here and find you…see you being used like a sloppy whore by your stepdaddy. I don’t think she’d be very proud knowing what a slut she raised.”

Nick’s vicious words send a burst of ashamed heat racing through your whole body, although the burning sensation only seems to gather directly between your slick thighs. Your clit pulses with every harshly spoken syllable and that combined with the hot, sticky stimulation from his half-hard cock — lazily fucking your cum-filled pussy and rubbing you just right — sends you over the edge.

Without warning, your entire body stiffens and you do your best to subdue your pleasured groan as you suck the digits stuffed between your lips. Your cunt is aching and tender, but still manages to ripple and clench so forcefully around Nick’s length that he slides right out of you; a warm rush of your juices and his abundant cum pouring out in thick rivulets which collect messily in his pubic hair and drip to the floor between your bare feet. 

Before you truly have an opportunity to revel in your release, Nick is interrupting the euphoric moment by yanking you upright and spinning you round to face him. You tip your head up to meet his chilly stare, struggling to focus your bleary eyes on his attractive face. A face which displays none of the discomposure you feel in your current frazzled and fucked-out state. Nick smiles in a way that makes your skin crawl, the sight of his gleaming white teeth more predatory than affectionate or comforting.

“Get on your knees. Suck me clean,” he utters with false patience, the infernal spark in his eyes simply daring you to say no.

Gulping audibly, you grip the edge of the desk to stabilize yourself as you drop to the hard floor with shaky legs. Your knees settle uncomfortably on the unforgiving wood and the musky scent of sweat and sex surrounds you. Nick studies you unflinchingly, his eyes boring into you as you observe his flaccid cock, still smeared with your combined fluids.

As you lean forward, you swear you can hear Nick gasp shakily. For once, you feel as though you have the upper-hand. You move with calculated delay as you walk the tips of your fingers up his muscular thighs before wrapping them around the waistband of the disheveled pants that hang loosely from his hips. Another tense moment passes. You can feel him growing impatient and choose not to push your luck. You want to be good for him, after all.

The flavor that assaults your taste buds as your tongue flicks out to tentatively lick the soft flesh presented to you has you eagerly wrapping your lips around the head of Nick’s cock. He groans at the wet heat of your mouth and you groan at the balmy, silky weight of his length against your tongue. You suck gently, admiring the way you taste together; Nick’s sweat and cum are salty and potent, your own juices more subtle and sweet. The perfect amalgamation; mingling in a heady and complimentary mixture, but each distinct in their own way. 

You can’t get enough and you engulf Nick with your mouth, cheeks hollowing as you suckle determinedly. His cock feels heavy and strange in its lax state, but you swallow him skillfully nevertheless. The pulsing suction of your greedy mouth prompts Nick to plant both of his hands around the back of your skull and pull you forward until your face is buried in the thatch of hair at the root of his length and cum smears along the bridge of your nose and your cheek. 

“Such a sweet thing,” he murmurs, his words encouraging you to bathe him in your saliva until all that remains is the untainted taste of his flesh.

When your swirling tongue brushes the delicate skin of Nick’s now-empty balls, he yanks your mouth away; his cock twitches at the thought of you slurping obediently there and he knows just how risky that will be with your mother and his wife merely a room away. Instead, he hastily shoves himself back into his boxers, fixes his pants, and plops into the previously vacated leather chair. He adjusts the bunched sleeves of his tee and smooths his hands over the open lapels of his shirt. You remain perched on your knees — disheveled and expectant, your dress a wrinkled mess — awaiting some sort of acknowledgement from your stepfather. 

Nick leans his elbows on the surface of his desk and begins to rifle through the stack of confidential papers he’d fucked you over, annoyed at the stains of sweat, spit, and tears. He returns to his work like you’re not even there. Your stomach drops and your eyes mist over with a sting of disappointment. Though you know it is childish to have expected him to praise you or hold you after — not to mention dangerous if you hope to protect the secret you now share — you can’t help the hope you have for him to at least say something to you. Rather, he proceeds as if nothing has happened between you.

“I have work to do,” Nick informs you coldly, not even sparing a single glance in your direction. “You should go get cleaned up.”

Seeing no movement from you, Nick finally offers his attention. The emptiness in his blue eyes makes you shudder and the way he curls his lip in what can only be described as disgust finally prompts the tears gathering in your eyes to spill forth. Of course you were stupid to expect any sort of affection or appreciation from the wicked man. He’s acting as if nothing has happened because it hasn’t…not for him anyway. You were nothing more than a fuck to him. A hole. A means to find release.

With that in mind, you rise clumsily to your feet and scurry with haste towards the door. Deep down, you’re still hoping for Nick to call out to you, to say something that will let you know this interaction meant anything to him the way it had for you. But the silence you’re met with hurts more than any of the nasty, insulting things he’d said to you earlier. 

The skin of your thighs sticks together as you make your exit, a cruel reminder of how callously your stepfather has used you. You swipe agitatedly at your face, smearing your tears and the drying cum from your skin. Though you fight to bury the sobs that bubble up from deep in your chest, one sad and strangled sound escapes you. And it makes Nick smile when he hears; satisfied with his efforts, knowing he has you right where he wants you yet again.

Sebastian Stan Masterlist ✦ Writing Masterpost

[killerandhealerqueen]

twenty questions for fic writers!

Thank you for the tag @sunriseverse! Always love doing these

how many works do you have on ao3?

As of right now, 284. 154 of those are Killer and Healer fics, to the surprise of nobody

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

We are currently at 3,030,755. I tend to write long oneshots and decently long multichapters so I'm not surprised my word count is as high as it is. Again, majority of these words come from Killer and Healer because there is just something about them that makes my brain go brrr

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Most Killer and Healer at this point, but sometimes I'll write an S.C.I. fic and I'm also going to dip my toes into F1 rpf. Currently working on my first fic now

4. top five fics by kudos

I agree with Corset, I'm not a fan of the kudos for my overall (since they're fics I don't care about and since I'm not in those fandoms anymore), so I'm also gonna go with my kudos from 2024 恨君不似江楼月 | Killer and Healer 231 kudos, m, WIP, yuezhi, junchun 药剂师日记 | The Apothecary Diaries 111 kudos, t, 89k, yuezhi Oil and Water 105 kudos, m, 91.5k, eric/ryan Stay the Night By My Side 48 kudos, t, 1096, qiubing Big White Cat Cuddles 47 kudos, gen, 2.7k

5. do you respond to comments?

Always. Always, always, always

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

On the rare as fuck occasion that i've actually writing MCD, my fic Promise to Keep for Chinese Paladin 4. I too am shocked that I wrote MCD because I normally write happy endings, but I was actually okay with how canon ended so...I was fine with the MCD (cried like a bitch while writing it tho)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of my fics minus Promise to Keep

8. do you get hate on fics?

Oh, I did once...and it turned into a whole post that I made on here because if they had gone just after the fic/me, I would have just deleted it and moved on (while simmering with rage) but no, they went after my readers and insulted them and NO ONE goes after my readers

9. do you write smut?

No I do not. Never have, never will. It squicks me, so I don't. I can read it, can't write it

10. craziest crossover?

Eh...I did a big crossover back in 2020 between s.c.i, history 3: trapped, and guardian. That fic was fun

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah, back in 2020 when I was working on my fic The Untamed Moments, someone was copying it word for fucking word over on Wattpad in Spanish. One of my readers at the time noticed it and I shut that shit down real quick. So...word to the wise. Don't steal my fics or I will end you

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! My fic So This Is What Love Feels Like was translated to Vietnamese. I was very honored

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

In the past...wouldn't do it again. I like brainstorming fics with people but at the end of the day, I need to be the one writing the fic. And my style is so different from others that you could definitely tell if a fic was co-written

14. all time favorite ship?

Yuezhi. Hands down. But man, Lestappen is getting up there...

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

God permitting, the Killer and Healer rewrite. Same with my Kei x Yaku fic. Problem is, I keep getting distracted by other wips and ideas so I like...haven't gotten around to finishing them. The rewrite I know is going to take me a while, but the Kei x Yaku fic I just gotta sit down and work on/crank out or I'll lose my hyperfixation with it and want to either abandon it or delete it. And I don't want to do either, so I gotta get back into it

16. what are your writing strengths?

Dialogue/making characters still feel in character, no matter the au, if that makes sense. I've been told my dialogue is great

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

TOO MANY GOD DAMN WIPS/WIP IDEAS

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I will only ever use dialogue in another language if I know what I'm writing in another language. Things might also cross over, like "hyung" or "gege" or stuff like that because it just sounds better but other than that, I don't use dialogue in another language unless i'm 100% sure of the meaning

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Dragonball

20. favorite fic you've written?

How dare you...I love all of my fics, even the ones for the fandoms I'm no longer a part of. No, I won't choose. You can't make me

Tagging: @hyperbolicgrinch @theotherwhybietoldmeso @clawbehavior @fourth-quartet and any other writing mutual who wants to give this a go

[ladyramora]

Author Interview

Tagged by @eemamminy-art

Putting a read more because this baby is looong....

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 72! It would be more if I posted all of my Tumblr snippets separately lol

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

467,534 words.

A decent bit, I think. Though I started writing again in 2015, so maybe it's not much? It's not everything I've written on Tumblr, either.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

I used to write for FF11 & Inu Yasha, plus Inu Yasha & Yuyu Hakusho crossover fic. I never deleted my fanfic dot net account, but it is all super old now. Nobody go looking for it! I may one day rewrite some of those old fic, but confronting my teenage writing skills is a bit much for me right now lmao.

My Ao3 is all FFXIV at this point, but that is subject to change! I have a c0mmission from Divinity: Original Sin 2 I'm currently working on! (Ifan. He's such an interesting, handsome guy. I'm having fun writing him~ ❤️)

I am interested in writing for other fandoms! For instance, Nu Carnival that is currently one of my favorite games, and possibly BG3? But I only know of it, haven't played it, I'll have to do research to write for it.

I just need to work through my current queue first!

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

I'm gonna go by actual chaptered fic, not just my collections of Tumblr snippets.

• Drowning in Blue:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4679429/chapters/10680896

Kudo count: 460 ❤️

Haurchefant/Warrior of Light (reader insert).

Summary: The Warrior of Light is granted a wish from Hydaelyn after being gravely wounded in the fight with the Ascians.

I have a lot of love for this one, however I would like to go back & edit it to make it more friendly to nonbinary & they/them readers. I do enjoy the writing style I have in this one. I do remember writing chapter after chapter of this one, day after day. A lot of passion there.

• In plain sight:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4333374/chapters/9826917

Kudo count: 385 ❤️

Yet another Haurchefant/Warrior of Light (reader insert).

Summary: The Warrior of Light has fled from Ul'dah to take refuge in Camp Dragonhead after being accused of treason. Though dark times have forced them there, it is in Camp Dragonhead that potentially disastrous shenanigans ensue. Much Fluff with attempts at humor. Haurchefant x WoL. Tataru and Alphinaud friendships.

This one! The fic where I created Ger! Another one I would like to edit to make more friendly to non-binary & they/them readers. I'd also like to update Ger's characterization, because she's an entirely different character now! But I really enjoyed writing this fic. It was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed exploring Haurchefant's character & building up the relationship between him and WoL. I had a sequel planned & everything. I'd still like to write that sequel eventually. I have a draft on my computer for it lol.

•Switching Roles:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9899933

Kudo count: 266 ❤️

Summary: Estinien lies in wait for Aymeric. This is also porn. Can be stand alone, but more like a sequel to Sweet like birch syrup.

Estinien and Aymeric were my first foray into writing smut, not just fading to black or ending at the buildup & making people ask in my comments "that's it? where's the rest of it?"

Oh, how far we have come since then! I used to say I was strictly a fluff/romance writer with occasional angst. Now look at me. 95% pure, explicit smut!

•Peculiarity:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36427720/chapters/90829135

Kudo count: 244 ❤️

Hermes/Warrior of Light (reader insert?) from Hermes POV.

I won't post the summary because it's kinda sorta Endwalker Spoilers! Sorry!

I will say that this fic is my current baby. I love Hermes sooo much. I relate to him a lot. It makes me very sad that so many people in fandom seem to hate him. My poor, misguided little meow meow.

Yet another character I ship with Ram, in theory, but as of yet not in written practice. Just vibes, just brainwyrms doing loops in the old noggin.

•The Cats Meow:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4508475/chapters/10253364

Kudo count: 243 ❤️

Haurchefant/Miqo'te WoL (reader insert)

Summary: Haurchefant notices the cat-like qualities in the Miqo'te!WoL. Attempts at humor and fluff.

Ok, this one is just silly fluff. Much romance. Very cute. Meow. This was around the time I was still playing my miqo'te, before I left her standing by Haurchefant's desk before level 57.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Eyes Ever Heavensward

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29054034

Kudo count: 33 ❤️

Haurchefant/Warrior of Light (reader insert)

Summary:

The one where Haurchefant is a member of the Heavensward, and WoL is storming The Vault. Angst. Feels. Unhappy Ending.

Ok, I probably have a few angsty ones but this one made me cry while I was writing it. I think it's just angstier because of what WoL is forced, with no other choice, to do in the fic.

:( ͡° ᴥ ͡°)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I have so many that end on positive/happy endings. I can't really say what is the happiest. Maybe fix-it fics?

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not so much on fic. I have gotten some mean/malicious anons on Tumblr, but not since my fanfiction dot net days have I gotten "flames" or somebody sending me a link to my fic being posted on "gaff" (god awful fanfiction). That was really mean lmao.

I just end up deleting hateful comments, anons, etc. Who wants to waste time on that?

Attacking or harassing real people over fiction is utterly ridiculous and I will never condone that.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Hello, so much smut!

I can write super explicit stuff that is really raunchy, or more flowery/romantic types. Fun, silly, sweet. Darker themes. I'm pretty flexible when it comes to writing smut.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

I have. Probably RP? The other crossovers I've done are nowhere near as crazy as things can get in RP.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of??

It's harder to pinpoint with writing, I think. People can have similar ideas, plots, or just enjoy similar tropes.

Unless someone is copying your work word for word, lifting scenes, or using it for A/I... (A/I images & text are theft. We want A/I to help people, not to replace human creativity with regurgitated trash that has no human soul.)

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I think I had someone ask at one point but it was some time ago. I don't even remember what fic it was.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Does RP count?

Brainstorming, bouncing ideas off one another. Or even just doing prompts & requests... I think that counts as creating together, if not actually "co-writing".

14. what's your all-time favourite ship?

I have so many!!!

For FFXIV in particular, it's probably still tied between Haurchefant/WoL and Zenos/WoL at the top. Ships with Ysayle or Foulques!! Ships with NPCs that are job class or side characters.

I am really fond of Emet/WoL, too. Tbh, any Scion ship or Ascian ship.

I love them all...

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Don't call me out like this 😔

I want to finish so many...

Ones that I feel I have to edit to add to them, maybe? I just don't have the free time to do so right now.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Hmm. Research and dedication to accurate characterization??

Dialogue, I think, because I enjoy it very much, but that could also be marked in weaknesses because I struggle with certain characters. (Smart characters. Characters like Urianger who have a particular way of speaking, etc, etc.)

Setting the scene. Word counts go crazy with that.

Descriptive writing and character introspection. I can dive deep into that.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely perfectionism. I'm never satisfied. I want every fic I write to be a home cooked meal. Michelin star.

Also run on sentences and my love affair with commas, em dashes, and semicolons.

Keeping the tenses consistent.

World building.

Overworking. (Set word count? What's that? What if 3k fic became a 6k fic became a 9k fic. Oops.)

Having time/energy to write. That's a big one. 🥲

I'm a caretaker for my disabled sister, the designated chef of my household, and just constantly busy every day. I try to squeeze in writing where I can, but some days I'm just so tired and drained that I have basically nothing to spare for my creative pursuits. It's a definite struggle to work through that.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like to read it! It's especially fun if it's a fantasy language like vulcan or elvish.

Unfortunately, I only speak English, and even writing in my first language can be difficult. I don't know any other languages well enough to even attempt writing in them.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Inu Yasha, DBZ, FF11. All when I was a teenager.

Then I didn't write again for years and years. Started up again with FFXIV.

20. favourite fic you've written?

I have so many I love, I can't pick one favorite... I'll just list a few of my favorites right now!

XIVSapphicWeek Snippets

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45529894/chapters/114564367

Ram x Ysayle & RamLynn

(Lynn belongs to my RP partner, @/lynnslight )

I had an AyaGer one planned but I didn't end up writing more before the week ended. I'm still gonna use the prompts & add to it, eventually ❤️

....

•Peculiarity

(Yes, again. I'm posting it twice)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36427720/chapters/90829135

Hermes x WoL

Summary is !Endwalker Spoilers!

This is my current baby, I have the next chapter stewing. The start of the smut always has to be good, you know? The flavor has to be just right~

•A (Primal is a) Wish Your Heart Makes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29186616

Angst. Gerchefant? Primal Haurchefant. I have a WIP of the next chapter & it is angst and smut.

(You know what's funny? I've written/posted more Ger smut than Ram smut lmao! Sorry Ram. I love putting Ger in situations 😌❤️)

.....

Favorite series?

Amnesia Zenos, Villain Haurchefant, any Ascian fic (particularly fond of Attracting Ascians, I need to write more for that one.)

Amnesia Zenos

•Dancing In The Dark

Zenos x reader Insert WoL

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868251/chapters/39610297

Summary: If Zenos had lost his memory, and WoL was the one to find him.

• Dancing In The Dark - With Two

Zenos x reader Insert WoL

Summary: One with Amnesia, the other without? Two Zenos? You can barely handle one.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868563/chapters/39611086

Villain!Haurchefant

•Villains and Heroes

Summary: “Shh, it’s alright,” the villain said. “You’re doing beautifully and I’m so proud of you. But that’s enough now. It was cruel of them to make you fight me - you could never have won. It’s not your fault.” Villain!Haurchefant

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868086/chapters/39609883

•Attracting Ascians

Ascians x reader insert WoL

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29053515/chapters/71312748

Summary: The Warrior of Light attracts Ascians like moths to light. Or the one where WoL Kisses Ascians instead of Killing them. (ARR. Early? Maybe. IDK, who cares about Canon, this is Fanfiction.)

....

Special mention to my WiP fics I haven't posted yet except for some snippets like that Ram x Zenos smut, the dark themed/dubcon Fandaniel fics that I'm excited about.

Also the Nu Carnival & Obey Me! fic I started that I want to eventually sit down and properly write...

(I know. Fic that isn't FFXIV? Gasp.)

And of course, the comms!!

I really try to write every comm I get like I'm cooking a homemade meal for someone.

I made it for you. Take a fucking bite bro, I love you man. (Gender neutral uses of 'bro' & 'man', ofc. It's like saying 'dude' to me lol)

https://youtu.be/tkUSCNr0aDE?si=uDbsApgeOLU_SvMx

....

Anyway, thanks for tagging me ❤️

If any of my followers would like to do this, I'm tagging you! 💕

[euphoricfilter]

5 for any fic. 6 for "pretty puppy". 7, 9, 10.

-🖤

the first one is so hard

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about (any of my fics)? Answer it now!

literally anything, i love answering questions but i know tumblr is going downhill with interactions so idk how likely that's gonna be which is really sad because it was what i was looking forward to most when i started posting on here. so thank you to everyone that does interact with this blog, they all hold a special place in my heart

you know what i thought about doing the other day, those 'ask my characters anything' type things because i always found them so funny when i used to see other writers do them

6. What’s one fact about the universe of 'pretty puppy' that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

probably information surrounding yoongi's idol life, it's definitely something i glazed over and just left to the imagination and probably unrealistic considering what their actual schedules would be like

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

looking back at it, i hate this series a lot now (i did think about deleting it but i spent so much time on it so it would just rot in a folder on my laptop) but considering it was one of my first pieces of writing, the 'To Build A Home' universe. i wouldn't say i'm proud of it per say, honestly i don't think i planned it out all that well and there's probably a ton of plot holes but as a (second) starter project it could have been a lot worse and i was able to build like a novel's worth of story (i think the final word count was the length of an average novel)

9. How do you find new fic to read?

if it's on tumblr then recently i've been using the 'for you' page. there's been quite a good few fics i've found on there. every fic i read on here i reblog though so you'll probably see everything i finish reading on tumblr

for ao3 i usually use the additional tag part in edit, i think that's what it's called, and then search whatever i'm looking for and browse a million pages until i find something i like the sound of and then if i really really liked the fic then i go to that writers profile and see if they have anything else i like the look of.

i read this really good kinktober series over the last few days actually, it was from 2019 i think

10. How do you decide what to write?

i don't think i have a distinct way of choosing. when i first started this blog it was based on what dreams i'd had. DTIK and TBAH were both based on scenarios i'd thought of before going to sleep, and then after that i guess stuff like 'helping hands' just came to me and i wrote the story down or if i saw a post that gave me an idea.

for requests, sue me but i haven't been writing them in order of when people submitted them. it honestly depends on how i'm feeling, or how inspired i am by the prompt or if i think i'll have time to finish it over like 2 or 3 days. like if i were to sit down and write something right now then i would veer away from smut requests because i feel so uninspired by smut after my last fic so i'd choose something softer. 'keep quiet' became a thing because i wanted to write a pwp and that request best fit that without me having to do any world building

so i guess i just pick what i feel like writing at the time, i get so eager to write and then lose motivation so quickly, so i think i choose what i know i'm going to enjoy writing. also kind of off topic but i despise starting fics, it's so hard, like i sit there for ages trying to figure out how to start writing, maybe that's what stops my motivation

the curse of starting a fic

[ljxlj48]

The Nanny

Chapter 3

Taeyong x fem reader

preview, 01, 02, 03

genre: mafia au! dad taeyong!

warnings: implied violence, angsty

word count: 3K

authors note: I am so so sorry this is a day late, I was gonna post it on Thursday like I had done with the previous chapters but when I reread the chapter I hated, absolutely despised the first draft of it. SO I deleted scenes and replaced it with better stuff. So now I can give you guys stuff I'm actually proud of, it is a little shorter though. We see dream in this chapter, which I hope you're all excited for because they play a semi big part in the story. also in other news, I might post other things besides long chapter fics like this but I'm not too sure yet. nevertheless, I hope you guys enjoy. hugs and kisses to anyone reading <333 ---------

Yesterday after taking Jisung to the airport, Johnny took you back to the mansion. Taeyong didn’t come home last night, just leaving you and Dasom. You were now sitting in the living room watching Dasom play with her toys, while you looked over some college classes to take online.

Just as you found a class that you needed and that would also work with your schedule, the front door slammed open, while someone was shouting your name. Rushing to the front door, you see Taeyong all but carrying Mark in and a battered group of men following behind him. You notice Jisung and Johnny in the back of the group making their way into the house.

You went over to help Taeyong hold Mark up, bringing him to the couch in the living room. Just as you entered the living room, Dasom put down her toys shouting “Jisung,” while Jisung picked her up in his arms. Jisung then handed Dasom over to a maid to take her upstairs for the moment.

“What happened?” you whispered out to no one in particular, just looking around at the group of boys that was badly beaten up. They looked to be hurt, tired, and dirty. Taeyong had grabbed your arm pulling you away from the group, out to the hallway.

“Look,” Taeyong was exhausted, you could tell from his out of breath tone, “they need to stay here, and I need to go back to the office just for a few more hours, okay?” You heard everything Taeyong said, but there was a droplet of blood freshly stained onto his shirt that caught your attention.

You stared at the vibrant red, the gravity of the situation you were in finally hitting you. This was a life or death situation, something you knew nothing about. The weight of the fact that there were people trying to kill finally setting in. You felt tears welling in your eyes, you felt so guilty, throwing temper tantrums about people not talking to you, when there were people risking their lives to protect you.

“Hey, hey, hey” Taeyong had pulled your face to look at him instead of the stain, “why are you crying?” he asked while wiping the fallen tears away. You wrapped your arms around him burying your head in his chest whispering out a meek sorry.

Taeyong looked down at you, wrapping his arms around you, trying to figure out what set you off so suddenly. Taeyong looked up from you to meet Johnny and all Taeyong could do was shrug.

Taeyong finally pulled you off of him, “what’s wrong?”

Collecting yourself and wiping away your tears, “I’m sorry for making this difficult for you,” Taeyong was about to object, thinking that he was dealt with worse people, “You should change before you go back to the office, there’s blood on your shirt.” You finished off, walking away from Taeyong and back to the group in the living room.

Taeyong watched you walk away, deciding to leave you and go upstairs to change. You walked back into the living room, your face had a tint from the crying but nothing too noticeable. “What happened?” you whispered to Johnny.

“It was an ambush,” Johnny whispered back to you, while looking at the group of boys on the couch that was about to pass out. All of them leaning on each other, exhaustion was evident, as well as dirty.

You could see the sweat, dirt and blood on all of them. “Yah!” Taeyong yelled from the stairs, as he walked into the room. “Go shower, you’re getting my couch dirty.” You watched all the boys groan before one stood up, he was tall, well built and had platinum blond hair.

“I’m gonna shower in Taeyong’s bathroom,” the boy standing announced.

“There’s enough bathrooms for at least half of you to shower right now,” Taeyong said, looking at his phone, “Hyuck, you're gonna need to help Mark.”

“Yeah,” a tan boy, who you thought was Hyuck, still sitting on the couch answered.

“Johnny you ready?” Taeyong asked, you turned your attention to see Johnny nodding along. “I’ll be back for dinner,” Taeyong directed towards you; you just nodded along. The two of them walked out the door, heading back to the office.

Four of the boys stood from the couch heading up the stairs, there were still three of them that remained on the couch, one of them was the tan boy, Hyuck, Mark and the third, he was smaller in frame than the rest but he held the least emotion in his face.

You took notice of the blood that was seeping through the bandages on Mark. You got down on the floor in front of his position on the couch, “we should change your bandages, it’s bleeding through already.” You spoke to the half-asleep boy who just nodded his head. “Can you go get the first aid kit, there should be one in the kitchen,” you looked at the tan boy now, who just nodded his head as well.

“I’m Mark, we never formally met” he then pointed to the boy sitting by his feet now, “that’s Renjun, and the one getting the first aid kit, Donghyuck”

“(y/n), how did you get hurt?”

“I got stabbed,” Mark said, closing his eyes again, as Donghyuck walked back in with the first aid kit and a medical bag.

“Thank you,” you turned back to grab the stuff from Donghyuck, going back to Mark.

You began to change the dressing on Mark’s wound, and one by one the four boys that went up to shower came back down. Each one has their own wounds that you tend to. Almost two hours later, you had seven boys all with some type of wounds, freshly cleaned laying on the couch watching a movie along with Dasom, who was cuddling up next to Jisung. The seven of them whispered amongst themselves, when you left them to go into the kitchen and check on dinner.

“Young madam,” the older maid greeted as you entered the kitchen, “is there something I can do for you?”

“Auntie please, I told you just to call me (y/n),”

“No madam,”

“Fine,” you sighed, not understanding why she insisted on such etiquette, “I was just wondering when dinner would be ready?”

“Dinner should be ready shortly madam,”

“Thank you,” you responded back exiting the kitchen, you mind foggy with the wounds you saw on those boys. You also learned the names of all the boys, the tall, well-built, with platinum blond hair was Jeno. The one constantly clinging to Jeno was Jaemin, the smaller boy with orange hair was Chenle, then of course Jisung, Renjun, Donghyuck, and Mark. Realizing this is the group dream.

As you entered the room again you heard the faint whispers of someone named ‘Seulgi’ the name not ringing a bell. You ignored all whispers when you entered the room, “dinner will be ready soon,” you announced.

“Thank you (y/n),” Mark said, “we know this is your house but thank you for letting us stay here.”

“This is Taeyong’s house, but you’re welcome to stay nonetheless,”

“Thank you for taking care of us too,” Mark added, gesturing to the bandages you placed. He was like the spokesperson for the group.

“Its the least I can do,”

“Here sit, watch with us,” Mark scooted closer to Donghyuck. You found your seat next to Mark and the armrest.

-

You and the boys along with little Dasom, watched several movies as well as eating dinner on the couch. The night was filled with laughter, stories, and good memories. It was one of the first evenings since you came to the mansion that you finally felt like before. Dream treated you like an actual person, they talked, and laughed with you. The loneliness of the past week was like wearing a coat of chains, but dream helped carry the coat.

You and the boys were laughing at Hyuck teasing Jeno, while Jeno was attacking back physically when Taeyong walked back through the door.

“Hi,” Taeyong greeted meekly, staring at all of you.

“Taeyong,” the boys shouted unanimously, and you couldn’t help but wear the biggest smile. Each of them took their time talking to Taeyong, nearly shouting over each other, and even now you couldn’t force the smile to leave your face. These boys were a firecracker of energy, even with almost life-threatening wounds, they wore nothing but smiles. The happiness in the room was like antibiotics to the disease of loneliness.

At the end of the night, you carried Dasom to bed, she fell asleep on the couch while watching a movie with dream. You tucked her into her bed, and then began to make your way down the stairs, stopping midway when you overheard your name being thrown around.

“Shes like Seulgi,” it sounded like Mark, and that name again, the name you didn't recognize, “are you serious about this?”

“I am,” that was Taeyong’s voice. You felt guilty for eavesdropping, decided to make your presence known as you continued down the stairs.

“She’s out like a light,” you said with a smile to the group of boys lounging around.

“Thank you,” Taeyong said, giving you a warm smile, “have a drink with us.”

“No no, I’m gonna shower and call it a night,” you felt it better to leave them to their conversations, “I just came down to say goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” the boys said collectively, their unison bringing out a small giggle.

“Goodnight (y/n),” Taeyong said slowly, looking at you, as he laid back in his chair, arms open, one hand holding his drink. In that moment you clearly saw just exactly how pretty he was. His sharp gaze, cut jawline, the slender cut of his frame, the length of his legs, he was a work of art in every aspect of his being. In that moment, you finally saw the extent of his beauty and how it proceeded any expectation.

“Goodnight sir”

-

The next morning as you made your way down the stairs, the mansion felt more lively than ever. You could hear the boys from the dining room, their conversation filled with laughter. As you entered the room, you took notice of the large breakfast spread laid out for them. Taeyong sitting in his seat, Dasom on his left hand side, the seat on his right hand side empty, and the rest of dream filling in around the table.

You took your seat, “good morning (y/n),” Taeyong softly spoke to you.

“Good morning,” you stared back at Taeyong, the two of you caught up in gazing at each other.

“(y/n),” Mark called out to you, “thank you for helping out yesterday, we’re gonna be heading back today. After this actually.”

“Really?” you questioned, feeling your heart break. They all could hear the emotion in your voice. Being with dream was like a breath of fresh air, you were drowning, and they pulled you out of the water. “Excuse me, I'm not that hungry.” you said standing and leaving the table. You weren’t about to throw another temper tantrum for not having things your way. You were just gonna silently cry in your room, and hope no one would come find you.

-

We all watched her leave, and walk away from the table, I couldn’t stop myself from following after her.

“(y/n)” I caught her right before she went up the stairs.

“Yes?” she turned back around, looking down at me, tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing really, I just need a moment, excuse me,” she tried to rush up the stairs again, before I caught her wrist.

“What’s really wrong?” She looked away trying to stop herself from all out bawling I imagine.

“Sir, it’s really not your problem, i’ll be fine,”

“You’re my finacée, it is my problem,” She smiled just a little.

“Sir, I am the nanny, not you’re actually finacée,” she reasoned, raising her eyebrows at me.

“That can change,” I said, pulling on her wrist, to come down the few steps she climbed, “now tell me what’s wrong, I will fix it.”

She smiled a little wider this time, “I just like having the boys here,” she paused this time, looking down at my hand still wrapped around her wrist, “they talk to me like I’m a normal person, it’s nice. It may have been only a day, but I’m gonna miss them, that’s all.”

“They can stay,” I wish, I want to give her her life back, but I couldn’t live with myself if she died because of me. So in the meantime, I will give her whatever that makes this, somewhat like her life before.

“What?”

“They can stay here, they used to live here when they were still in school, they can come back and stay here again.”

“Shouldn’t you ask them? They are adults sir, you cannot order them around, you’re not their father,”

“Like hell I can’t, I’m their boss,” I leaned in just a little, looking down at her, “They will do what I tell them to.”

-

Taeyong marched you back into the dining room, where the boys sat, still eating their breakfast.

“Dream,” Taeyong started off grabbing all of their attention, “move back home, here.”

“Sir,” you scolded, “it’s up to you really,” you started off, looking at the boys sitting on the table, “you guys can come back and stay here if you want to, the doors will always be open to you. We… I would like it very much if you guys stayed. I’m sure Dasom would too,” you looked at the little girl, eating pancakes.

Each of the boys began to smile, exchanging glances between themselves, “we would love to stay,” Mark responded. Hearing Mark say that, seeing the smiles the boys wore, had a sense of joy that was unlike any other.

-

“(y/n), let me,” Taeyong pulled Jisung’s box out of your arms, walking it up the stairs in front of you. He was supposed to go into the office this morning, but instead decided to stay and help the boys. He wore his dress pants, the top buttons of his shirt undo, his tie tossed aside on the couch, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“Thank you,” you said almost breathlessly.

“You’re drooling,” Donghyuck said coming up next to you,

“I am not,” you said wiping your face, trying to feel around if you were drooling.

“No you’re not, at least not yet,” Donghyuck laughed out, making his way up the stairs, causing you to shake your head.

“Ha ha ha, very funny Hyuck,” you rolled your eyes, wondering if your admiration of Taeyong was that obvious.

-

That night you sat around in the yard, with Taeyong, Dasom and all the boys of dream.

“How are you doing?” Jaemin asked when it was just you and him grabbing the drinks.

“I’m good, I’m glad you guys are staying.”

“We like spending time with you too,” Jaemin smiled.

“Taeyong said that you guys would do whatever he says, and I don’t want any of you to feel like you have to stay here, I’m sure you guys have lives too and you can’t just spend all of your time wit-”

“(y/n) It’s okay, we want to be here,” Jaemin reassured you. You glanced back at the boys lounging around, laughing about, smiling at these new found friends. “Taeyong is really happy with you,” Jaemin came up to your side, whispering, “you know?”

You hummed in acknowledgement as Jaemin made his way to return to the group. You always knew your feelings for Taeyong were not ones you should have for their boss, but you knew you never crossed the line. Taeyong was a wonderful father to Dasom, there wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t do for her. He was always an amazing boss, he paid you well above the minimum wage, enough money where your bills were always paid. Not to mention just how incredibly handsome he was. The media didn’t help your twisting feelings ever, there was no wrong he could do. He donated to countless charities, all reports from employees that worked under him were nothing but positive. He was truly a man that had stepped out of your dreams.

After today with him and Dasom, you knew your feelings, you liked Taeyong.

-

Towards the night, when everyone was starting to feel the tiredness of the day. Dasom came up to you, the little girl rubbing her eyes and yawning. She lifted her arms to say she wanted to be carried, you picked her up, pressing her against your front, resting her head on your shoulder.

“I love you (y/n),” Dasom whispered only loud enough for you to hear and you felt your heart break open.

“I love you too princess,” you whispered back. You went over to Taeyong, “I’m gonna take her inside already,”

Taeyong nodded his head, “I’ll come with you,” he said as he stood from his chair, placing a hand on your waist, “we’re gonna call it a night, goodnight.”

“Goodnight guys,” you said back to the rest of the boys. You could hear them all say goodnight back, as you, Taeyong and Dasom walked to the house. Just like a little family.

03 > 04

--------------

taglist: @morkleetrash@happygirl327@iveivory@scuzmunkie@neocityfile@b1kon131@huskyhunny@sparklygrass@keemburley@imbumkyung@gordorio@a-bts-world@pastel-boy-sungjae@tyongf-sunflower99@floweronacloud@hufflepanda221b@maddypool31@terjeno@spideyweirdo@bbh-bambi

[diningpageantry]

How (Not) To Get a Boyfriend

Chapter 3 of 6 (Archive of Our Own Link)

Read Chapters 1 and Chapter 2

Rating: Teen

Chapter Description: Simon slips up, and hopes it doesn't cost him what little he has built with Baz so far.

Note: haha wow..... ik i haven't updated this fic in two years haha (sweats), but it's back up and running now! i'm working on another project, but while that one's in progress, i'm coming around to finishing this one up! i hope everyone likes it, despite it being a short chapter in itself :)

----------

BAZ

I hadn’t, in any number of years that I’ve been sitting on these platforms, ever thought people would see me smile properly within the realm of my curated image.

Give it to Simon bloody Snow to cock that one up, apparently.

I’d caught it, at first, while watching the upload, tucked into my pitiful childhood bed back at the estate, days after my return to Hampshire. It dropped on a Friday (his usual upload time, too. It’s depressing that I know that).

The smallest shred of me had thought that I could keep my composure while inebriated. I had thought, at least, in the moment that I had maintained my image. Sure, I had figured I made a few, albeit uncalculated, quirks of the mouth, but as the night went on and Snow refilled my glass a few more times, I must’ve slipped.

And, apparently, not only did the camera catch it, but Snow did too.

And fucking amplified it.

My stomach dropped when I saw it. The little zoom in, barely a second of it, of me smiling down at Snow unceremoniously punching a dramatic hole into his sheet of metal, and ripping it a bit more than he intended. And I smiled. I actually cracked a fucking smile.

And he showed it.

In a zoom in.

So here I am, sitting at the kitchen table as my step siblings run about, arguing about something (school age twins will do little else, I suppose), and trying not to drown myself face-first into my mug of coffee while reading the seemingly endless stream of Twitter notifications.

OMG BAZ CRAFTS REAL?????!!!?!??!???!!11!? @baz.pitch @simoncrafts

@baz.pitch can actually smile this is a code red everybody

was someone going to tell me that baz pitch is actually in simon and penny’s house at 3 in the morning or was i supposed to see a gif of him smiling to find out

Dear Lord, some people have already started posting fanfictions.

Maybe I should drown myself. It’ll be so much easier.

I exit out, then pull up Instagram, ignoring the little notification tab as I tap into my direct messages and type out Snow’s username.

There are very few actual messages between us.

There is a few drop down comments from stories that I will absolutely never let anybody on this forsaken earth know that I screenshot and save into a folder, then just a few back and forth from after my trip to London last week. I read through them, trying my best not to seethe.

(simoncrafts): thx for staying to record btw

(simoncrafts): srry abt the hangover too, if you get one

(simoncrafts): think the mix got strong lol

baz.pitch: I am not, but the concern is noted

(simoncrafts): im gonna take that as a “wow thanks for checking in on me simon!”

(simoncrafts): and im going to say wow ur welcome baz!!

(simoncrafts): :)

Bastard.

It was days ago. Back when I was hopeful for something akin to company, or at least human normalcy between us, I suppose. Damn me for being thoughtful.

I type out a message, then delete it before I send, and type out a different one, swallowing sharply before I hit send and settle my phone down face-first.

baz.pitch: I’m not sure who you’re trying to humour, Snow, but I do not appreciate, nor take lightly, my character being shown in a light that I had not approved of.

I sink down further into my seat, staring down at the milky-brown liquid I’ve got in front of me. It’s probably more lukewarm to the touch now. I’ve let it sit for far too long, over the hate-scrolling I’ve set myself onto for all the absolute worst reasons.

Maybe I should be cursing my naïtivity first. For what, even? For even accepting Snow’s offer? For convincing myself that It would be a rightful move on both of our parts?

Fuck all, either way. He’s the one who kept the edit…

SIMON

I should’ve known I fucked up.

Right, well, I thought it was a bit funny. The moment seemed funny–I’d zoomed in on my fuck up, then his face, then my own drunken laugh, so I’d thought maybe it was fine to post.

Fuck me, right?

I’d thought maybe it was just a little fuck up at first, though. Just a little. I mean, probably not lawsuit worthy amount of fucking up, but just enough for possibly something bad happening…

Okay yes. Fuck it. I fucked it up quite a bit, and I know I did, even if I hadn’t thought about it in the moment as something people’d get all caught up in, but the social media sphere has been reminding me all morning that Baz and I’s relationship has gone completely tits-up because of a barely two-second clip.

And it isn’t like the clip has something damning, either. It isn’t his credit card front and back, and it isn’t him plotting the death of a royal figure, either.

It’s him smiling.

And now it’s trending on Twitter.

I can’t stand to look at it all. Gifs, pictures, everything me and Baz are tagged in. Fanfiction links, hastily thrown together fan art. Questions. Loads of questions, many of which too dizzying for me to even put a finger on now (I do not want to answer questions about whether or not I’d snog Baz. For many reasons). I was even thinking, before this, about just shutting my mobile off and tossing it out our seven-stories-up-window.

That was, until Baz’s DM pinged up, and made me want to liquify it then emulsify the bloody thing with my own nervous sweat.

I think I’ll puke into it for good measure.

simoncrafts: look mate, i can explain

(baz.pitch): It better be more than a sound answer, or else I’m putting you on a blacklist

simonncrafts: governmental, or otherwise?

simoncrafts: im kidding please dont block me

simoncrafts: look ok i didnt think theyd go absolutely mad over a little clip of u smiling

simoncrafts: id figured people would find it funny

simoncrafts: you know

simoncrafts: because you dont laugh

simoncrafts: wait no id meant like on camera

simoncrafts: you dont laugh on camera

(baz.pitch): Did it not occur to you that it was for a reason?

(baz.pitch): I’m playing a personality, not a moldable image like you toss about

(baz.pitch): I did not consent to having such footage of me presented, and I expect respect when presenting my face within your videos

(baz.pitch): Remove the snippet from your video immediately

simoncrafts: i am i am im sorry

simoncrafts: im doing it now

simoncrafts: look im sorry mate, i really didnt mean for this sort of reaction

simoncrafts: wasnt thinking, thats all

baz.pitch: When are you thinking, Snow?

simoncrafts: im sorry

simoncrafts: i thought it was sweet

simoncrafts: i didnt mean to baz, im sorry

simoncrafts: please just say something back

BAZ

I’ve left him on Read for three days now.

If I’m being fully honest, the first day felt justified. I had all but turned off my phone and left it where I couldn’t hurt myself further by overlooking pages where I shouldn’t be. There is only so much public humiliation I can physically endure before I throw myself into a lake.

The second day was more so through pettiness. Then Bunce messaged, just so see if I was alive (which, yes, I am. I’m significantly less upset at her, as she definitely had no input onto it, but my bitterness for everyone at the moment is at a solid 2 on my scale, so I gave myself just a few minutes before I’d given her a response). So, surely, Snow is aware that I am still kicking, and that hopefully dove the blade in a little deeper. A tad of salt into the wound of being marked aside, I’d hope.

Or maybe, it’s me who’s overthinking that.

It isn’t like we’re properly pals, or anything. I’m not one of the mates I’d assume he has, given he’s clearly a social butterfly by nature. If anything, I’m a professional acquaintance, and one that he’s justifiably upset at this very moment.

However, do I think he’s thinking about me?

Not particularly.

At least, by the third morning, I had assumed so, given he’s taken the silence so far as a particularly justified means to stop being a nuisance.

I should have filmed something yesterday, but I was in a bit of a stupor and did not want to push myself to even attempt something of quality. I don’t have anything planned, either way.

That’s a lie. I always have something planned. I have a list of topics and information I’d gladly cover, if something in particular isn’t striking my fancy at the given moment, however, I think if I tried to merely start a work, I would most likely just turn my camera off after a minute or two and mope even more than before.

So… I haven’t. Putting me behind schedule.

Fantastic.

The absolute smallest part of me wishes I could throw that into Snow’s face. A full “Look at what you’ve done to me–potentially damaging my entire career.”

But I was petty yesterday, and today I suppose I am just bitter. Or grieving. Whatever that grief may be of (myself? Dramatic).

(When am I not?)

It shocks me, though, when his notification slides down onto my screen. Like he could hear me pity myself from so far away.

(simoncrafts): youve got every right to still be mad and like… i dont know. probably ignore this text and keep going on about your life, but im hoping u dont

(simoncrafts): im really sorry for not asking before posting

(simoncrafts): i shouldve sent u a copy so u could okay it and it was unprofessional of me not to

(simoncrafts): i dont ever really collab so thats really on me not thinking abt it when i should have

I swipe down onto the screen, then let the chat pull up, staring at it with knit brows as I watch his chat bubble dance on screen, then stop when he sees I’ve read his messages. The messages between us are still for a good minute. I wait, then read his messages again, then the three dots reappear.

(simoncrafts): i actually liked working with u ur not as big of an arse in person as i thought u would be

(simoncrafts): i know i cocked this up and u really can ignore me again if u want i get it

(simoncrafts): but i dont want u to think i dont care bc i do and i feel really bad and dont want it to be awkwrd if u ever wanted to come see penny again so im putting this out there

(simoncrafts): i am really sorry, mate

I tap my index quietly against my phone, staring at the screen for an extended pause.

I’m not quite sure how to respond, frankly.

I didn’t want to be hopeful. Maybe to–what–squash my feelings for him? To treat this as something I can force myself to overlook, continue shagging men that fill a void that I’d created in my mind as something unobtainable?

That, when that image of a person I’d created so foolishly as an idea in my mind was something so different, so human up close, and only for him to disappoint me, then I thought I could finally get on with my life?

(If you ask anybody around me, they wouldn’t say these past few days have been me “getting on with my life”. Anything but. Daphne asked if I wanted to go on her morning jog with her today, which I’d known was code for “You look like you haven’t been outside in a concerningly long time, and it won’t be remedied unless you’re dragged out kicking and screaming to all heavens”).

I’m helpless. Beyond repair, apparently. Because even something that I’d most likely stomp out quickly and block over has become me getting weak over. Especially if some measly, pathetic texts can almost immediately tie me back into his good graces…

Who am I kidding? I had felt weak to him apologising the first time around. I am weak.

I pull up my keyboard, then watch the bar blink for a moment before delicately crafting out a response.

baz.pitch: I acknowledge your apology as well as your honesty and respect for my personal choices going forward. While I am still not pleased with your actions, I do not want it unsaid that I appreciate your timeliness in the removal of the snippet that I had addressed in concern.

It reads like a fucking business email. When did I become my father?

I cringe, rereading it then exhaling before I hit send. Better than nothing, I suppose.

He reads it immediately. He must’ve been waiting on the other end…

(simoncrafts): does that mean we’re good then?

(simoncrafts): or like

(simoncrafts): something not with u coming to rip my head off or something?

baz.pitch: Yes, Snow. We’re civil.

[sukirichi]

sukirichi’s 2.4k milestone event

weee another milestone and nooo i couldn’t wait for 2.5k because i’m so excited and happy, thank you so much! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ including HAIKYUU this time around yeeeee! also i don’t have a restaurant aesthetic anymore, just kind of goofing around now! REQUESTS ARE OPEN. 

before you request...

please read about my writings first! it will include the stuff i write and don’t write about. i’m more flexible in nsfw works, so if you really want to try for a kink, just send me in and if the idea is up to my liking, we’ll see how it goes! 

please be patient and nice! if i don’t like the tone of your request or if you’re ‘demanding’ me, aka, “hey, write this for me, this concept...” your ask will immediately be deleted!

no requesting of the same idea to other writers please!

please keep in mind i don’t do too much canon-heavy plots, aka really specific canon events and how they lead up to one another. i don’t read the manga for both jjk and haikyuu ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ

I do not do headcanons anymore. I’m not good at them LMAO.

i feel a lot more laid back in my writings now, so i’ll only be taking requests that i want to write for! the accepted requests will be listed down below as i organize them

you may refer to my first milestone event if you want more ideas for AU requests! you no longer need to include the numbers/spices/ingredients format used in that. just send whatever idea you want ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. whichever idea i love the MOST will be turned into a series just because I want to try new things hehe!

— characters i can write anything for (nsfw & sfw)

: gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, choso, ryoumen sukuna, nanami kento

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei, miya twins, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, ushijima wakatoshi, bokuto koutarou, akaashi keiji, tetsuro kuroo

— characters i can only write sfw for

: itadori yuuji, inumaki toge, okkotsu yuuta

: kenma kozume

— characters i’m MOST eager to write simp for

: fushiguro megumi, choso, naoya zenin, ryoumen sukuna, gojo satoru

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, akaashi keiji

accepted requests: (only accepting the ones that interest me for now!)

favorites marked as ⭐

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: hello love!! i know it LITERALLY just came out but would you consider a pt 2 or a drabble for sweet lies? where megumi either catches her and sukuna or she genuinely starts moving on uasdfghj i'm convinced that megumi heard her fucking sukuna in the bathroom <3 anyways pls feel free to ignore me too

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ma’am , i beg of u ,,, spare husband! sukuna x wife! reader drabble. I just read your arranged marriage AU and lordddd i’m obsessed. How long did it take for him to take her virginity 😳? i’m so curious as to how that went down read here: black magic [02]

⭐⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA:  Yooooo how about Rockstar Sukuna seducing his manager ehehehehe~ 

⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ok but... pirate captain Sukuna 👀👀👀 I’m havin some Thots ngl 🥵🤤 I can’t decide whether reader should be the first mate and they’re a kickass Power Couple 💪😎or if she should be a stowaway who gets found out and has to pay for her passage with her body 😩😉

OKKOTSU YUTA: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi saw that your request are open and congrats for the 2.4k !! 🎊 if possible can i please request yuuta having a girlfriend that's his childhood friend? (So like instead of rika it's y/n and she doesn't die) that loves to dote on him cause that boy needs some love. Thank you!! <3 | kiss me more

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: Toge's S/O being so sad that even when he says "smile" it doesn't work( also saw that in TikTok)

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi! Congrats on 2.4k!!🤩 For the event, may I request an au where reader is Yuuta's sister? Can be gn/fem reader anything is fine. And they fall in love with Toge? Fluff fluff fluff please🥺Maybe they meet one day when she went to visit the school? Or she's a new sorcerer. Aahhhh I can't think of anything so I'll leave it up to your wonderful mind😌 Thank you! And again congrats! | crush

INUMAKI TOGE: SUKI OMG SIREN AU WITH TOGE AND DEAF READERHis voice hypnotizes all who hear it but she’s unaffected and he’s shook lmao 😂 She teaches him human sign language so they can communicate 🥺 maybe when he realizes he likes her he brings her seashells and other shiny things from the sea floor and it’s so cute 🥰 just 🥺🥺 siren Toge 🥺🥺🥺 (DEBATING)

GOJO SATORU: Hello dear Suki! 🤗 congrats on your more than deserved milestone 👏🏼🥳 I know it’s not the restaurant aesthetic anymore but still, thank you for being a Michelin-star chef spoiling the fandom with your food 🤤👀 I’d love to request the following: ingredient 66 with sugar 8 & 9 and Gojou as cherry on top 🥰 some heavy angst with a happy / smutty ending. additional 🍪 for inspiration - „Best friends don’t look at each other the way you look at her. You never know what will happen, tomorrow might be too late“. Have a lovely day dear 💕

GOJO SATORU: Congrats on 2.4K!!!! May I please request a fic where the reader has like. Zero reaction to Gojo? And he’s kinda shook bc people either adore him or hate him, but here’s reader acting like he’s just a normal dude. And he starts falling for her bc he’s never experienced that before

⭐ GOJO SATORU: a reader that likes Gojo but immediately says N O P E bc they clock that he’s at risk of breaking their heart so they just try to avoid getting close to him despite being a teacher stuck with him a lot of the time. And Gojo is just like ??? But I like you??? Why are you always avoiding me? “I’m tired of you acting like I can’t commit to something. Committing to you is easy.”

⭐ GOJO SATORU: ♡Soft nsfw scenario with s/o and gojo while outside is snowing read here: cold

⭐ GOJO SATORU: Ohoho~ another milestone! Congrats~Can I get Vampire!Satoru x Monster Hunter!Reader where he “proves” to her that all of his victims came willingly(I think from the AU choice you’ll know exactly who I am lol 😉)

⭐ GOJO SATORU: hello! first and foremost, congratulations on reaching 2.4k! i love your writing and its just oh my goodness <3 your stories made my heart squeezed! second of all, i'd like to propose a request for a story. fluff/angst (up to you! your way of writing is just superb) mixed with nsfw gojo satoru. a modern business tycoon au where he just lost his wife and is overprotective of his 1 year old toddler. you're his new staff in the office and is treated badly bcs you know, new staff. one day, you stumbled upon your boss and his baby in a shop, who wont stop crying and he took an interest in you when you managed to calm his kid down. he hired you as his babysitter + made you move into his estate. from there, your life changed! also, thank you for accompanying my days with your stories, it's marvelous! 💕

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: okay i thought you might like this idea for the event (or maybe not lol) - naoya coming home to his beloved little housewife and feels like giving her a treat for being such a good girl.,,.,, read: man's gonna re-arrange your guts and have some soft moments with you after (not that he would ever admit that shsghshsj) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | good girl

NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Stage magician Naoya and his cute little assistant, where every other trick works to undress or strategically rip her outfit so he can show off his little bunny to the crowd before fucking her brainless backstage

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE:  listen ,,,,, ur naoya hate fic goes crazy stupid may i add something. naoya being overprotective like reader is so pretty and many of the clan men look at them a lottttt and naoya out of nowhere will kiss you in front of them or will grab them in front the maids and workers. then reader becomes mad and they get into an argument and then hate fuck :D lmaoo  (THIS REQUEST PLEASEEEE SEND ME TO HEAVEN) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Omg Suki! Congrats on the 2.4k! So uhmm I decided to take a break from the Kita/Naoya twin au angst 👉👈 idk if you are still accepting requests but HAS ANYONE EVER MENTIONED OR HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED SUGAR DADDY NAOYA????? 🥺 -🌸

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: Megumi being insecure about his eyes because they are a very light green colour( like in manga) so he wears blue contacts( I saw that on TikTok and... big brain energy)

⭐ FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: SUKI, HI! First of all, congrats on 2.4K you absolutely deserve every single milestone coming your way 💞💞If it’s not too much to ask may I request a one-shot with megumi where he’s jealous that his fem!crush is spending more time with Itadori and sees how she enjoys his company a lot but it’s purely platonic? Reader likes megumi too and they both need that push in the right direction?Thanks so much if you decide to write this 🥺💖 I seriously love your writing and your big brain sm

CHOSO: Could you write something with Choso and the reader that has a toxic mother (if that actually exists.  She controls everything the reader does, and plays with her mind/ feelings making her feel like she's the bad one)?But after a fight with the mom, the reader has enough and just leaves deciding they will finally do what they want, ending up at a tattoo shop, where Choso is the tattoo artist.Ngl, i'd like this to be nsfw because i am thirsting for this man ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Don't really have kink preferences but if you could include size and breeding kink then i'd be hella thankful ☺

GETOU SUGURU: Yo how about a Victorian AU with Gentleman Thief!Getou and Debutante!Reader nsfw 👀👀 maybe she hears something in the dark and goes to investigate and gets pressed to the wall with a knife at her throat 👀🥵

FUSHIGURO TOJI: can we get a part two of the "lessons learned" toji fic 👉🏽👈🏽 maybe him fucking and overstimulating her so hard she cries and begs for mercy but no mercy will be given. maybe he uses the same handcuffs she used for him on her 🥰 maybe some manhandling cause im a hoe for letting a man throw me around

⭐ KAGEYAMA TOBIO (fckin finally): kageyama tobio x reader fic for mutual virginity loss? maybe they just haven’t had time with him being a fancy schmancy volleyball player, maybe there’s just nerves, i don’t know! i’ll leave it up to u babe <3

⭐ SUNA RINTARO: hi!! congrats on the 2.4k HEHE just wanted to request a suna and tattoo/flower shop au? idk just the thought of tattooed suna is like. mm yes

⭐ SUNA RINTARO/AKAASHI KEIJI: hi suki!! i’m so excited for your event! so i rarely ever see someone else who loves both akaashi and suna so i was wondering if you could write something for them! maybe apocalypse au?? or roommate au?? i was thinking y/n could have a relationship/be fuck buddies with one of them and some smutty exhibitionism happens with the other watching, and then some pining that ends in a threesome if you write those! if not, then just a smutty n filthy little love triangle that you can choose an ending for lol (a happy one would be nice bc my heart can only handle so much angst, but really it’s up to you and what inspires you!!) tysm for doing this event and always working so hard <3

⭐ OIKAWA TOORU: hi i love your writing!! can i please request work au (boss oikawa x secretary fem reader?) with degradation and him fucking your in the window 😭💗💗

[pricemarshfield]

moments like these

A Figayda angst/hurt/comfort fic. Requested by @sapphic-tuesday even though they only requested it because I love Figayda. (ily bestie) Read on AO3 here.

Prompt: Figayda, angst, hurt/comfort, “You don’t need to stay.” “I don’t need to. But I want to.”

The forest is dark and damp and the worst fucking place Fig has ever been, and she's running as fast as she can to get away from herself. She'd point out how it's way too on the nose if she had any breath left, but as it stands, it's all she can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other, slower and slower.

Eventually she has to just collapse into the nearest bush, hope somehow that's enough stealth even as the crack of the branches seems to echo out for miles and miles. There's a long, long beat, where she thinks, just for a second, that maybe she's done it. Maybe the other her isn't too perceptive, either.

She hears an oddly pitched laugh from right behind her ear, as though she isn't lying on the ground, and when did the branches tangle around her leg? Where'd her bass go? Why did none of her friends even seem to care that someone else took her place--

Fig wakes up with a start, sits up, hits her head against her ceiling which is, of course, the living room floor. Her horns scratch it a bit, but thankfully, her mom won't ever see it. Her crystal says it's 3 in the morning when she checks it, and fuck, she's gonna be stuck in here for awhile if she can't pass back out.

She could send a quick text to the Mordred group chat (the manorlings, despite Ragh vying for 'OWLBEAR HYPE HOUSE') and ask if anyone's up to let her out, but then there'll be questions about why she's up, so she just concentrates on mage hand until she nails the chord and the ceiling opens.

The house feels too empty with everyone asleep, too stifling when she can't make any noise, but there's not exactly anywhere else she can go. Her days of sneaking out in the middle of the night to go to concerts aren't nearly as fun now that she misses her friends the whole time. Also, now people recognize her for being one of Solace's biggest stars or whatever, and that's just kind of a hassle when she's not in the mood for attention.

The living room couch is an old, cracked leather thing, moved from Jawbone's apartment. It's not comfortable in any traditional sense, but there's a groove in it that fits her perfectly, and that's nice, in its own way. Sometimes she misses the couch in the old house. It got burned to hell in the attack on prom night, though, so. The whole house did, honestly; when she went home after everything, the window in her bedroom was shattered, glass all over her bed so that she had to pick up each piece, vacuum up what small pieces she couldn't see. She still woke up with a couple cuts on her legs that she didn't have before, but it was home, even if the posters and the pink wallpaper were both singed, even if the purple comforter she'd had since she was a kid didn't smell like it used to.

The old Faeth house never really felt like home after her horns, sure, but Mordred...

She does like it here. Loves it, when everyone's crowded around the table, Adaine arguing with Kristen about some minute difference in casting, Jawbone telling a wildly off-color story to a confused-but-interested Aelwyn, Sandra Lynn making sure Ayda has enough food on her plate while she blinks back fiery tears.

But it doesn't change the fact that she lived here for all of a day before spring break, and right now the hallways and secret passages and tall ceilings all feel ominous, not exciting anymore.

She turns on the light before her mage hand dissipates, scrolls through the games she has on her crystal. Most of them are things she's had on here back when she liked unicorns and glitter and all those girly things that she never got around to deleting.

It's something to do, at least.

The bright colors are nostalgic in just the wrong way, and she makes it through two minutes of matching pop rocks and cake slices before she's scrolling through the games again, on-edge for no goddamn reason.

"Fig?"

Part of her relaxes against the couch before she's even finished processing the voice as Ayda. "Hey! I didn't think you were staying here tonight."

"I wasn't," Ayda says, looking at her with an expression she can't read at all. She's in a deep blue chemise, like she'd been sleeping before she walked through the enchanted door into Mordred. "I--may I sit?"

"Yeah, of course," Fig says, patting the spot next to her. "Always, babe."

Ayda cries a little as she sits, and Fig wipes the tears away. The first time she tried, when she was a normal tiefling and didn't wear the title of Archdevil, it stung a little, like stepping into a too-warm bath. Now, it feels just like the hint of warmth against her hand, uniquely Ayda and not at all painful. (Which is also uniquely Ayda, to never freak Fig out even when she's in this shitty mood.)

"So," Ayda says. "I was in Leviathan, as I needed to--well, still need to, I've merely decided the task isn't as important--I'm getting sidetracked."

"Yeah," Fig says, and when Ayda stiffens, says, "Not bad! Not a bad thing! It's cute."

"Oh," Ayda says. "I--sorry," and bursts into tears again. Fig wipes them away, kisses her cheek just 'cause she can, kisses the other one because she can feel Ayda's face get even warmer.

"No worries," Fig says, too late, because she's not--this is still new to her. "So what's going on?"

"As you know, I am a divination wizard, though not an Oracle like Adaine, our best friend." Fig nods. "But sometimes my dreams have--not prophecies, but looks into the present, or even occasionally the past."

"Okay," Fig says. "Is there, like, a slumbering demon lord underneath Mordred?"

"No," Ayda says. "I asked a ranger I know in Leviathan to check before he left on a journey to Sylvaire. Unrelated to the Nightmare King. I checked, just to be sure, because I am sure none of us want to deal with that again."

"Mmhm," Fig says, willing herself to keep breathing slow and easy and not tense up like she wants to. It's just Ayda talking about preventing further Nightmare King stuff. The Nightmare King doesn't even exist anymore, they're Cassandra, they're cool. "So, uh, what'd you see in your dream?"

"You," Ayda says. "That isn't uncommon. I dream of you often. You're in more of my dreams than not. Is that strange? Should I not have said that?"

"Not strange," Fig says, sure her cheeks are red rather than pink. "Just--I'm flustered, okay, give me a second."

Ayda nods at her, not smiling but face relaxed in a way that suggests the same feeling. Fig grabs her hand just to ground herself, squeezes it once. There's a moment before Ayda squeezes it back, like she's thinking about whether it's the right thing to do.

"Totally normal," Fig says, just in case.

"Good," Ayda says with one long exhale. "I was worried."

"You know, it doesn't matter to me if what you do is 'normal'," Fig says. "I like you whether what you do is normal or not!"

Ayda nods. "I want to finish my thought, but after that I want to kiss you. That was the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

"You could kiss me and then finish the thought?"

"I would forget," Ayda says, like she doesn't remember everything, like Fig is enough to distract her. Fig can't quite meet her gaze, then, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. She squeezes her hand again. Ayda squeezes back immediately. "Um. I'm distracting myself. What was I talking about?"

"Your dream."

"Right. Thank you, Fig. I dreamed about you, and I think it may have been--it was as though I was standing at your bedside. I know it was a dream and not sleepwalking, because I can't actually stand in your room--it's too short and I don't want to set your house on fire. But you seemed upset, and while I don't know if that was real or a dream or not, I couldn't--I couldn't just sit in my room and Leviathan without checking."

"Oh," Fig says. "Um. I'm fine."

"Hm," Ayda says. "You know, you were the one who told me that if people say they're fine, it very rarely means they're fine. I don't understand the logic of it at all, but I trust your insight."

"It's stupid," Fig says, and then, in a twist, bursts into tears herself. "God. It's stupid, I don't even know why I'm upset? Like, it's literally nothing, nothing is going on, I'm just dumb--"

"You are not dumb," Ayda says, and Fig hates herself all the more for the panic she can hear in her voice. "You have taught me so much, and if it matters to you, then it's not stupid. Fig?"

"Yeah," Fig says, voice embarrassingly choked up. She clears her throat as best she can, which isn't very well, since she's still actively crying. "Yeah, I know."

"I don't know what you know," Ayda says. "But I know that when I cry, you wipe my tears away, and I'm going to do the same for you, unless you want to stop me, in which case I won't."

Fig doesn't move, lets Ayda wipe away her tears even though it makes her want to cry more, someone being nice to her right now. "Thanks."

"Any time," Ayda says with the weight of a promise and not at all like the platitude most people would mean. "Do you want to talk about it? It's okay if you don't. I often don't want to talk about the things I'm going through when I'm still going through them."

"I don't," Fig says, because the idea of explaining the nightmare and Mordred and her old house being destroyed and feeling so, so unmoored and stuck all at once makes her want to tear her own hair out. "I don't--you don't need to stay. I'll be okay. If I'm not--if I can't talk about it, you don't need to stay."

"I don't need to stay," Ayda says, carefully, and Fig grips her hand tighter without consciously meaning to. "But I'd like to. If I can."

"I meant it when I said always," Fig says, still not looking at Ayda because she can't.

"Do you want me to?"

"Yeah," Fig says. "I always want you to stay."

Jawbone walks into the room on his way into the kitchen, sees two teenagers holding hands and crying and slightly-burning his couch, and decides he can just get water from the bathroom instead of the kitchen. He's not one to interrupt a moment.

[mentallydatingahotcelebrity]

AO3 Tag Game

Tagged by @therealstartraveller776 ! Thank you—these are so much fun! 👀

How many works do you have on AO3?

Well, I’m in the process of transferring over from FanFiction.Net… so just three right now (because I’m editing everything and rewriting accordingly lol). They’re all oneshots. But on FanFiction.Net I have 59 stories; which isn’t including the stuff I haven’t published anywhere yet. I also have a fic I’m cowriting with a friend, so that shows up on my page too! I have to admit…AO3 is a little daunting with all the tags and stuff 😅 that’s why my transition is so slow….

What is your total AO3 wordcount?

8,593. Which is… nowhere NEAR what I’ve actually written… 👀🤦🏼‍♀️. I’ve got somewhere around 544,593 published words for all my fic accounts. One day I’ll get it all rewritten and transferred and I’ll have a more perfect tally.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

10 fandoms! The Hobbit/LOTR, Phantom Stallion (book series), Thoroughbred (book series), Pirates of the Caribbean, Chronicles of Narnia, Person of Interest, MCU, Sherlock, Barbie (Life In The Dreamhouse—I wrote oneshots for my siblings lol), So Sang The Dawn (book series).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I have to go to FFN.Net so technically this is cheating (but I don’t HAVE five fics on AO3 yet!)… but…

1. Forbidden Desires (Narnia fic)

2. We’re All Soldiers Here (Narnia fic)

3. Star Crossed (Narnia fic)

4. To Be Chivalrous (Narnia fic)

5. Déjà Vu (That’d Be French) (POTC fic)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I always try to respond to my comments, negative and positive. I like that my readers engage with the story and I want to show them (as many as possible!) that I love them for their dedication and the time they’ve put in to reading my story. Readers are some of the best parts of writing fics—and seeing their ideas and headcanons is so awesome!

What is the fic you’ve written with the Angstiest ending?

I’m currently in the process of rewriting and finishing one… but it’s a Narnia Golden Age fic centering around Edmund called “Forbidden Desires”. Definitely not a sweet ending….

But the angstiest one published is a oneshot crossover called “Like Falling Stars” where Loki dies… which ties into the next question.

Do you ever write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Yes I DO write crossovers! I actually quite enjoy writing them—I mostly do them for MCU/So Sang The Dawn (which is a fantasy book series). But I’ve also done MCU/Narnia, MCU/Sherlock, and LOTR/Narnia to name some I’ve posted at one time or another!

Craziest has to be a Loki/Edmund Pevensie shortfic I wrote where they meet by chance during the Convergence after Thor saves Loki from getting killed that first time on Svartalfheim. I never posted it anywhere but I might one day. It was ✨spicy✨

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Probably every multi chapter fic ever lol. People hate the ship, hate my character choices, hate my headcanons, hate my worldbuilding, hate my preferences for relationships, etc…. I delete them all cuz they’re usually all guest or anon reviews. So they don’t matter lol.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I’m 100% gonna steal how I write it from @therealstartraveller776 because I don’t get into that weird romance novel ‘detailing the physical act’. I just feel like it can really destroy the story if it’s not a romance novel type (none of my stories ever have been—maybe an occasional oneshot). I like to write more how the characters are thinking and their reactions to being intimate than just describing sex. Because yes we want them to bang, but if we wanted all that description we can always go to a romance novel on kindle and switch up the names and pretend it’s a historical AU. And that’s so basic.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, I haven’t. I don’t think…. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I’ve done it three times in my life and I’m currently doing it with a friend who mutually dislikes the Loki show as much as I do (we’re rewriting to our standards of excellence). And it’s the best co-write to date! Usually I prefer to write on my own, but this was a wonderful exception!

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Oh good glory… there’s really too many to have just one. Loki/Raine Fording (this is a crossover one so doesn’t really count), Loki/Jane Foster, Thumbelina/Cornelius, Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, Will Turner/Elizabeth Swann, Caspian/Susan Pevensie, Robin Hood/Marion, Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley/Pansy Parkinson

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Phantom Stallion by Terri Farley. I was thirteen and obsessed with horses. (Still am truth be told!) and had been reading the fica for two years before my sister told me to get an account and write fic myself. lol it’s her fault I ever discovered doing this 😂 She set me up with my account and gave me the motivation.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Less Than Nothing, a Narnia oneshot. It’s not the best thing I’ve ever written, but an awesome couple asked if they could turn it to audio on YouTube and that’s Amazing!

Tagging: @dkmbookworm @fast-and-the-curious @turniptitaness @presumptious-quirks and anyone else who wants to participate!

[fulcrumstardust]

writing tag game

thanks @andorerso <3

20 questions, writer’s edition:

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 17, which are solely SW fandom

What’s your total AO3 word count?

592 056 words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Listen, I’m not gonna list all my fandoms because a girl needs a bit of mystery but here are some:

Harry Potter

Star Wars / Rogue One

Fullmetal Alchemist

Vampire Academy

Black Sails

(most of it is not online anymore, but it existed at some point.)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

war dogs

1653 days without luck

the girl with the stardust eyes

transient stars

bring me home

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Or at least I try hard to, sometimes it takes me an embarrassing amount of time and sometimes I simply don't because /mental health issues/ but then I try to make it up on the next update. I think it’s nice to reply to people to let them know that I appreciate their support and without them I would stop updating, but also understand that sometimes I put all my energy into writing the update and there’s nothing left of me. It’s about mutual respect!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It’s actually unpublished, it’s a rebelcaptain fic that involves major character death when a rescue mission goes wrong and one of them sacrifices themselves to save the other. Very angsty indeed. Sometimes I just need to ugly cry, ok. I don’t know if I have the guts to put it out there.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

basically everything else, I guess ? I don’t know, 1653 days is pretty happy considering they’re married with a child and seeing the end of the war together, but is it proportional to the angst during the way ?

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

No, I don’t think I ever will (unless it’s a crossover with my own OCs lol)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I remember getting some mean comments on a HP fic saying it was just badly written but I was 16, what did you expect my dude

I also get some nasty comments on a reylo fic from time to time that I just delete because I don’t have time for dipshits. It’s very rare though so /dabs/ (special mention when it starts with “I would love it BUT”, it’s ok babe, I love you too <3)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

When am I not writing smut is the better question. I love erotica, I love good one if you catch my drift. That’s actually what got me into fanfics because there’s no porn with a female gaze outside of fandom spaces. I love to write the kind of smut I think should be more out there, I’m on a personal vendetta against bad sex dynamics in mainstream media (and YA specifically but that's for another day). Killing patriarchy one orgasm at a time. It’s all about empowerment and a safe place to explore oneself.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I didn’t make it to that level of stardom lol

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, a couple with @halflingmerry and @briamarie38, it was awesome! It reminded me of my old days on RPG plateforms, I love the cooperation aspect. Lots of fun! I’m a slow writer so it takes the right kind of partner to work w/ me but I was lucky each time to have great co-authors to pull me through it. I’m looking forward to doing it again when I have some time.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Eh… Rebelcaptain, probably. They really have that thing I love.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

This one fic, Seelonce Mayday. Quick recap: Jyn is an Imperial hostage and convinces Cassian to get her out after they had a one-night stand while he was undercover. Once she’s free, Cassian goes on about his rebel spy life and they part ways. They stay in contact through all his missions and form a strong bond (comlink chatter only, hey see the title?) but she doesn’t tell him she’s pregnant until months later and it all kinda blows up in their face with bad timing. I talked about it before, it’s all about forming an attachment backward and developing a love that’s primarily familial… sort of “that’s my pack”, “I would die for you now even if we’re still strangers at the core” kind of shit. Anyway, first chapters still unpublished because I don’t know if I can write the whole thing but… it’s there. *sigh*

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogues and action scenes, I'd say.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions! Vocabulary, in-between scenes, sometimes I also struggle with balancing what I know and what the reader needs to know. I hate to spell things out but I can underexplain things, I think. I don’t know, you tell me if you’re a reader of mine! I always accept concrit.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love it, I’ve always done it one way or another. Being multilingual is a part of me that I tend to write into all my characters. I love coming across another language in fics but it has to feel organic and that’s a tricky thing to pull off. I prefer when there’s no translation, so either I look it up myself or I don’t (always assume the reader won’t), but if another character is going to translate then just don’t use another language, what’s the point. I think it works best if the reply lets you guess what was said, or if it’s something meaningful that comes back later.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It has to be Harry Potter, I think? Or maybe….. DBZ (hey, I said I won’t disclose my full legacy lol)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Noooooooo, that’s so hard! *sad noises*

At the moment, probably stardust eyes because I really love to feel my heart being ripped off my chest by all that angst (knowing full well how I will resolve everything in a big clash of emotions). And bc I love to write military settings in general, in case you're new here haha

Well, that was fun! Tossing the ball to @briamarie38 @halflingmerry @incognitajones @imsfire2 💌

[rosella-writes]

writing tag game

Thank you so much for the tag @noire-pandora, @kittynomsdeplume, @melisusthewee and @emerald-amidst-gold <3

Whoooo boy, here we go.

How many works do you have on AO3?

17, but quite a few are just one-shots. I only have a couple long-fics, mostly because my poor ADHD brain is cruel to me.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

190,052, but if I hadn't orphaned my old (and embarrassing) Skyrim and Sherlock fanfics it'd probably be closer to 300,000.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

honey just put your sweet lips on my lips - 579

i couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted - 56

a fuller feeling (a brighter burst) - 54

Eunoia - 40

i'd wanna be felled by you, held by you (fuel the pyre of your enemies) - 39

(And to be perfectly honest, my most popular fic is by far my worst. I spend so much more time carefully crafting for Eunoia than I do anything else, but the little following it's picked up has made it worth more to me than all the kudos and comments on "honey.")

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I used to be terrible about it, mostly because the vast majority of comments I once got was hate (I wrote for a weirdly unpopular wlw pairing). Now I make it a point to respond to every single one when I can, even the short ones, to thank them for taking the time. It means so much.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It was a drabble for the r/dragonage writing thread, actually! The premise was a font in the Black Emporium that would show your OC the outcome of a decision made differently. I wrote Eliana Lavellan from Eunoia discovering what would have happened if she'd fought with Solas in Crestwood until he told her the truth... and its outcome was worse than the timeline where he left her and kept his secret. You can read it here (it's about 1200 words, nice and short).

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

My various Solavellan pairings don't get happy endings. Evelyn Lavellan was more of a narrative tool to explore Solas with, so her ending was cut short. Eliana doesn't have her ending yet, but it will be bitter and painful. My happiest ending was for my Bella/Rosalie pairing for Twilight - Bella became a vampire and lived happily ever after with her wife.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't, unfortunately! Since my days on tumblr and FFNet, S*perWh*L*ck left a terrible taste in my mouth when it came to crossovers. I'd be open to it one day if I can find fandoms chill enough.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

As I previously mentioned, yes. In my Bella/Rosalie fic, I made it a point for Rosalie to love all the parts of Bella that weren't conventionally beautiful. My Bella is also a dark-skinned black woman, and the intersection of racism, colorism, and misogyny where it concerns attractiveness was something I thought worth including because I didn't see enough of it in fic. I wanted to highlight all the things that don't get enough attention or are actively reviled, like hyperpigmentation, stretch marks, natural hair, soft bellies, areolas and vulvas that aren't perfectly symmetrical or small, pubic hair and armpit hair and little hairs around nipples - things that I love about AFAB people! I got a lot of comments on my smut chapters calling Bella disgusting, or me nasty for choosing to include those traits. I deleted every single one.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

So much. I love exploring pairings or power dynamics that people wouldn't necessarily consider, like a strong female warrior Lavellan domming Solas, or Solas topping Blackwall. I wanted to show a black woman in an interracial relationship with a white woman where she got to be soft and loved gently, where she got to be quiet, bookish, and looked after instead of expected to be the loud, strong stereotype that we pin black women into. I wanted to show the power of masculinity in an elven mage who loves a warrior woman (Solas/Cass), or the nurturing side of domming in a relationship between a pan giant and a bisexual elf (Iron Bull/Solas).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, tbh. I turn up to fandoms a decade late, so usually by the time I get any traction the fic-stealers have done their dirty work and leave me alone.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven't! I hope to one day write a fic in Greek for my best friend, though. They deserve to read about Solas in their mother-tongue.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but have done some plotting with aforesaid Greek friend.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Solavellan, absolutely. Any variation, honestly - I've loved m!Solavellan, f!Solavellan, as well as any variation including nonbinary, trans, or other interpretation of the relationship. Solas sees and loves the spirit, and I love the idea that its vessel doesn't matter so much to him. I headcanon him as a he/him agender bisexual, for what it's worth.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I've technically marked i couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted as complete, but it cuts off right before Adamant and was intended to be a full Solavellan story. However, I just didn't care for my rogue f!Lavellan OC very much, and didn't think she matched Solas well. I developed an OC that I enjoyed writing much better and rolled with it. So, I'm sorry Evelyn Lavellan, but your story is frozen with the two of you happy in bed. Solas will never break up with her so long as I don't write that part, right?

What are your writing strengths?

I love dialogue and crafting character voices! Getting a comment that I've managed to portray a favorite character so well that they can hear their voice in their head as they read? Priceless.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Exposition vs description. I want to show instead of tell, but developing the right environment for a scene can be tough for me. It's so much easier to write that the characters are cold and the ground is wet than to wax poetic about dripping leaves and frosty air. But I'm working on it.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm obsessed with it. I love little bits sprinkled through that make sense with context, and culturally speaking it would feel wrong not to sometimes! I'm also the type of person that's always been obsessed with languages, and instead of becoming fluent in one I've learned a smattering of a whole lot. So any opportunity to sneak in some French, Welsh, German when it makes sense? I'm taking it. And don't even get me started on Elvhen or Qunlat because I will sprinkle that shit like biodegradable glitter.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Okay I'm gonna flout this question and just write my fandoms in order:

Sherlock (circa 2010 - 2014)

Skyrim (2016)

Twilight (obsessed from 2005 - 2010 but didn't write for it until 2019 or 2020 when Midnight Sun released)

Dragon Age (March 2021 and easily the most fanfic I've ever written ever)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

My favorite one to write was probably i'd wanna be felled by you, but my favorite to reread is Eunoia. It's most likely the most honest, least presumptuous thing I've ever written, and it's easily the longest thing I've ever attempted. I'm very proud of it.

As far as tagging goes, I've been very rude lately with it by tagging people late in the day, or tagging folks that I haven't tagged before, and am still refiguring out tumblr etiquette (since I haven't been here since the days of the skeleton war and the Mishapocalypse lmao), so presume if you see this you're tagged to participate. With no expectations nor pressure, though, I'll tag @dreadfutures, @varric-tethras-editor and @blarfkey if they'd like. <3

[icharchivist]

cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)

and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)

anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)

also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)

that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)

to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)

anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)

now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)

some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)

i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!

OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c

tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.

I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.

The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.

On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)

ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c

So glad you were invested in that conflict!

Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.

But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.

both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.

admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event

i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!

It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself

I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.

Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?

The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.

And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.

I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!

And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.

Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.

So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.

Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.

So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.

ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!

DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....

AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?

The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?

but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D

oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)

DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha

And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.

Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.

thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c

Take care!

[wntersfire]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG GAME

Before I start I would just like to say (tw alcohol for now and question 19) sorry for any spelling mistakes or if I ramble a little. To cut a long fuckin story short I mis read the measurements of my shot glasses and so instead of having two cocktails I’ve had the equivalent of four in the space of an hour and a half. Being british, im not gonna let a good drink go to waste either so im onto my third/sixth now.

Tagged by @clints-lucky-arrow (an actual goddess among us mortals)

1. Why did you choose your URL?

So this reason is two-fold. One, I didn’t watch star wars growing up because I was dumb and didn’t understand the politics (it wasn’t until my boyfriend sat me down and explained it literally in January of this year that I actually got it) but I loved Sci-fi and space so the next best thing was Treasure Planet (2003 film, Available on didney+) My favourite scene is the ending when Long John Silver (spoilers) is about leave before he can be arrested and Jim confronts him. Seeing how much his character has grown, Silver says to Jim, “Look at you, glowing like a silver fire. You’re something special, Jim. You’re gonna rattle the stars, you are.” It literally makes me tear up every single time I watch it and its one of my favourite lines of all time. Second, this was actually quoted in one of my favourite book series ‘Throne of glass’ by Sarah J Maas. I adore the character of Celeana and again one of my favourite quotes from TOG is when Queen Elena says to Celeana“ You could rattle the stars. You could do anything, if only you dared.” Every time I read that line I literally get chills and I actually have plans to get this tattooed on me lmao

2. Any side blogs?

Yes my fanfic blog @second-stars-totheright (I like puns and I used to love peter pan)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I joined when I was 13 for the fanfiction and lurked for a very long time, just reblogging and liking things until I deleted it when I was 17. Re downloaded the app and got my account back back around February of this year (when I was 19, now 20) and since then I’ve found it much friendlier and actually interacted with people this time around, and actually started posting my work on here!

4. Do you have a queueue tag?

No. This is my general postings blog so I just kind of stick anything funny or worth keeping here, but I probably should make one!

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

As I said to read fanfiction (anyone wondering it was 5 seconds of summer fanfiction. Anyone who judges me in the comments its fair game 🥺) but I re-downloaded it this year because I noticed with my work on Wattpad, while I had some do really well (one has gotten 130k+ views) its very difficult to actually interact with readers and get feedback. I’ve only accumulated that high of a number after 5 years of it being on there, and so tumblr is just so much more personal!

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I did it this morning as I was getting tagged in this lmao. I wanted a cartoon girl who looked like me but because I had a specific colouring (ie my hair is black with a blonde streak at the front & my eyes have both blue and green segments because I have heterochromia) I couldn’t find any that looked like me so I recoloured a cartoon girl I found on pinterest.

7. Why did you choose you header?

The white clouds fit the stars theme and it looks pretty with the purple. ✨💜

8. Whats your post with the most notes?

“That girl is a problem | Javier Pena x Agent!Reader part 1” with 105 notes on my fanfic blog.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I am still a little tumblr idiot when it comes to this so if someone could tell me how to find out I'll edit this

10. How many followers do you have?

72 on here, 107 on my fanfic blog (AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU ACROSS BOTH OF THEM MWAH, MWAH KISSES FOR YOU ALL 💜💜💜)

11. How many people do you follow?

165 (it was 700+ but the other day I unfollowed a bunch of accounts that haven’t been active since I followed them when I was 13. There were LOTS)

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

I mean all you have to do is look at the Nomad memes I make (UNAPOLOGETICALLY I might add 😤) for @clints-lucky-arrow to know I absolutely have. That series has a hold over me im telling you. I black out when I start reading and I awake with a bunch of meme editing apps open and my feelings tugged at from her amazing writing.

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

If I’m with my boyfriend which is like two days a week, rarely, but now I’ve finished uni, I’m on here all the god damn time. I feel so comfy and safe interacting with you all, not to mention some of you guys are funny as hell.

14. Did you have a fight with a blog once?

Not really on here, I haven’t received any hate luckily but I prefer not to spoil how comfy I am here with arguing.

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to re-blog this’ posts?

I’m a little confused by this I dunno whether I’ve just never come across any like this or if Stars is being a bimbo on the tl again. However, I only reblog things I’d like to keep for future reference or if something deserves to be shared to everyone else like a fic rec or a piece of art. (As Mack said, I’ve re-blogged so many in the past promising me money or luck and I am still broke as shit so what does that tell you).

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes!! I love reading everyone elses and getting to know my mutals better!

17. Do you like ask games?

Again yesss because it means I get to send love to my mutuals and get to know them better! I tend to not participate though just read their responses because I sometimes feel like I’m bugging people clogging their inboxes even though I know that’s the point idk I’m a hell of an over thinker sometimes 🥳

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

It’s been said before but @clints-lucky-arrow (wow you rlly owning this post bby girl) but I just remember lurking on Nomad early February and liking and reblogging her chapters so I could keep them to re-read cause that’s how much I instantly loved it and when she followed me I realised who she was and lowkey had a starstruck moment bcus id been ciaght up in her work for weeks and too nervous to make contact. Also @arduadastra, I saw her work all over the pedro tags for so long and now I’ve gotten to know her she is the sweetest girl!! We usually fan over Javier Pena gifs together, she’s solely responsible for ‘That girl is a problem’ bcus of her gif sending at 1am giving me Javi thots and now it’s my most successful one on my blog. And most recently @pedrosgirlx followed me this morning and her work is genuinely some of the best I've seen on here, as I said this morning it is the Sistine Chapel ceiling of Mando art it is actually jaw dropping!! I cant believe all these creators are rlly giving us this content for free and yet being so talented AND the nicest people I’ve ever met!!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

No, although I hold a lot of them dearly as friends. 15/10 would treat you lovelies to a drink of your choice if we ever met (any of you from the uk who drink I’d get you a pitcher from Whetherspoons)

20. Absolutely no pressure tags:

anyone who wants to join! a lot of people I would have tagged have already posted theirs so go for it if you like the look of it!

[katierosefun]

so after one really big latte, a muffin, a run which resulted in a near accident with an oncoming car, and a shower in which i contemplated my own mortality, here’s my thoughts on the adorable me & au podcast, because babe wake up new hyperfixation dropped. very spoiler-y, i’m sorry in advance for how f*cking long this is, this might only have like two people reading this but i have many thoughts please listen to this podcast because it’s so cute and i listened to it all in about 2.5 hours? 

- firstly: the main character is super relatable. like, scary relatable. meet kate “acunningplan” cunningham, a gal about to enter her senior year of college and just kinda,,,lost. she works as a barista and very confused, very...stuck gal by day, fic writer (and still very stuck gal) by.........not barista hours. 

- honestly, i love kate. idk i’m about to enter my senior year of college, and bro i related so hard to her fears of “bro i can’t even think about next week without feeling overwhelmed”. she misses her best friend whitney a lot, who is currently on the other side of the country for an impressive internship. so that can be kinda lonely. 

- but fear not, kate has an escape, like so many other fic writers/fandom people: fanfic. this whole story references tumblr without actually naming tumblr (let’s be real....it’s tumblr, from the “notes” to “this stupid app keeps crashing”), and kate follows this tv show about werewolves and supernatural creatures. very gay. only problem is that there’s not a whole ton of people active in the fandom, since this show is relatively new. 

- however, in this small fandom, kate meets ella: otherwise known as “hella-enchanted”, who is another fic writer. 

- kate is very obsessed with the idea of alternate universes, and for that alone, i love her.

- okay, so even if you’ve never fallen in love with a person online/in fandom circles, i just wanna say that ella and kate’s interactions are still so super relatable. the shooting messages, the starting random conversations and getting a little thrill when you see someone liking your personal post or whatever. it’s very wholesome. 

- also, at the end of episode 1, kate goes on about how “yeah, fanfic is kinda odd, but it led me...to you” and it was so soft and gentle you just know your heart is gonna melt huh 

- at one point, kate decides to be vulnerable via vent post about something that came up on the show (and oh god yeah i feel...things. kate relates very hard to one character in the tv show she’s following, and tbh,,,yeah. i can’t quite word it right now, but i think anyone who feels kinda.....stuck? would relate.) 

- the “EXACTLY ONE PERSON ASKED FOR THIS ESSAY SO HERE IT IS” please

- also oh :’)))) kate talks about ella’s playlists and when i tell you i squeaked a little bit because oh hey--

- anyways lol yes can you relate to like,,,posting a vent post and forgetting to delete it and being mildly horrified (but also mildly touched) when someone actually responds?

- ella’s very sweet, just responds with “seems like one of my favorite fandom people needed a pick-me-up” and :’))) i would die for ella! (i mean, i would die for all the characters) 

- okay yes also all the bits where ella and kate scream at each other about fic. very relatable, very real, you can tell that the writers of this podcast really knew this feeling, and i just :’)))

- THE TWO DEBATE OVER TITLES,,,,,kate keeps sending in crack-y titles and also song lyrics, and ella comments on “well,,,i just read this whole wikipedia page, so i think i’ve lost the high ground”, so if y’all KNOW i started laughing at that 

- also LMAOOOO the moment when conversation diverts from fic and fandom to slightly more personal things! kate being like “oh,,,,,you have an actual job! like,,,you’re an actual adult and.....how’s that?” and then quickly rambling on via message “actually let me change the topic because that’s probably too personal”...

- okay so there’s this bit where ella drops the fact that she’s never read anne of green gables because “listen,,,,you have an ex-girlfriend who sang the anne of green gables musical all the time--” and kate’s “.......ex-girlfriend? you had an ex-girlfriend? girl--” (and BACKSPACING ALL OF THAT because “god i’m such a freak”) 

- much gay disaster

- so much gay disaster

- opportunity for kate and ella to meet irl comes up! at a fan convention! in toronto! (and kate lives in bc). kate’s best friend (remember, internship one?) invited kate over to toronto for this thing anyways, and then ella posts something about “heeeey i’m gonna be in the area so if anyone wants to meet up for the fan convention...” 

- let me just say......kate chucking her phone across the room because she freaked out about that. again. very cool, very nicely done, very relatable, etc. 

- ALSO,,,,i forget if this was one of kate or ella’s fics or if it was the actual tv show, but there’s this tidbit where the characters in the literal fandom has this conversation: 

“don’t waste your time.” 

“what?” 

“don’t waste your time on me.” 

and the way that reflects kate’s feelings-but-she’s-not-trying-to-think-about-it for ella please let me just die here

- okay, so kate does decide to message ella about the meet-up, and let me just tell you, kate’s inner monologue about the worst possibilities for ella’s responses: 

“1. no response. which is terrible. 

2. you find out you’re not wanted after all. :(((((

3. the most terrifying response of all.......” (an enthusiastic “yes i’m so glad we can meet up!!!”) 

- well, of course ella responds with #3. 

- gay disaster kate not knowing how to acknowledge her feelings for ella...she goes on this “you don’t wanna come across as....y’know because if they suspect that....y’know.....and like, i don’t....y’know--” oh my god kate 

- anyways, kate works at a coffeeshop, right? and her co-worker stewart (nonbinary pansexual co-worker! we love to see the rep!!) being like “oh yeah maybe you can bring over your friend!” and kate panicking because “ohhhhh i’m not too sure about that,,,,she’s,,,,,,,,,busy......” (ie. the awkward moment of having to explain that,,,,,,your online friend isn’t exactly someone you’ve met in real life,,,,,,,,and not sure exactly how to explain that so you just,,,,,,“ohhhh uhhh......y’know...............it’s really hard to.......get her out of.....work.....” 

- kate and ella video-chatting for the first time is very cute, very gay. very gay. 

- they swap “how’d you know you were gay / liked girls” stories :’))) 

- “that’s a cute story!” “you’re a cute story” [awkward silence] “please let me hide under the desk now” (have i mentioned that kate’s  a disaster? i love her, but you’re a disaster. we need to be best friends.)

- kate.....describing herself as “irl fanfic disaster waiting to happen” and the whole “i didn’t know we were actually dating until she asked if she could kiss me” lmaoooooooooo (but okay yes this is also a mood? like,,,,,,idk something about heteronormative standards so like,,,,,it’s so stupidly hard to figure out if a girl is flirting with you or if they’re just being nice i am glad kate’s such a disaster) 

- in other news: kate’s “how tf do i write a kiss scene i don’t like the word lips ughhhhHHHHH” (yeah, mood kate) 

- lmao stewart (kate’s co-worker!) just chilling with kate and being like “oh yeah i figured you had a girlfriend? the one you’re talking about? ella?” and kate blanking because “wait you thought ella was my girlfriend? she’s not....uhhh....” and then later drinking with stewart and rambling about ella and panicking because “what if she realizes i can’t talk about anything except this tv show what if she thinks i laugh too loud what if i have horrific body odor what if she realizes i have NOTHING to say what if our meeting goes SO terribly that i need to deactivate and change my name just so i could like her posts at 3 am” and then her small “please forget i said any of that” 

- oh kate :(((( 

- kate :((((((

- k a t e :(((((((((((((((((((

- anyways, kate does go to toronto. 

- meets ella. 

- very cute. 

- ella...........very gay. they go into a coffeeshop and kate doesn’t know what to do. 

- okay but what’s hilarious is that ella,,,,,seems so cool and suave and i too would be kind of intimidated by her but then these two idiots really talk about writing kissing scenes and the build-up and ella’s voice gets all,,,,,,suggestive and there’s this.....awkward gay silence between the two oh my GOD they’re both IDIOTS 

- also okay yes kate and whitney, a irl friend, having a heart-to-heart. good. we love that. also, whitney being like “I MISSED YOU!!! YOU IDIOT!!!! and i’m glad you have a new friend, and you’re happy, but I MISSED YOU!!! I HATE THIS CITY AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!!!” (whitney is also very relatable. ily whitney.) 

- they’re so cute. they hug, and it’s sweet :’)) also, then kate says in a stupidly small voice “i think i’m....kinda in love with [ella]?” and whitney being best supportive friend-- 

- OKAY so we finally get an episode of ella’s perspective 

- listen, you’re gonna think ella’s this cool, suave person who has all her own gayness put together (i mean, she kinda knew since she was 9 or 10 years old? she’s had a girlfriend? she seems like she has her life together? she’s waiting to get into grad school? she has a job? she just seems....cool and knows what she’s doing). 

- but then you realize. ella is just as much a pining mess. (her bullet point list/schedule in her head is so relatable. as someone who uses her notes and reminders app religiously, that was just :’))) 

- ella: reasons why this is not a date. and then....kate sends a message. (ella: reason why this....might be a date....kate keeps saying stuff like...that.) 

- kate rehearsing how to tell ella that she maybe kinda likes her? very cute. (”you know the feeling in your chest when....uh, you know when you feel like you have a frog in your stomach--oh god not the frog NOT the frog”) 

- the love confession is very cute, and also very relatable. “i like you a lot” “i like you too!” “no i mean,,,,like i like you. wait. which like do you mean? wait that’s not english. uh. what did you say?” 

- kate’s “I HAD A WHOLE DRAMATIC FANFIC CONFESSION PLANNED OUT” 

- kate and ella just spilling everything made me :’))) 

- “i like how your brain works” “i made so many posts hoping that you would just talk to me” “you always make me laugh” “you just make me feel...better” “you make me smile” 

- “this whole summer you’ve been making me smile and i guess it kind of freaked me out? ...i don’t know where my life is going but if i have a choice, i want to go in any direction you’re going because you are cute and smart and amazing and i like you a lot, ella. like that. so yeah. that’s what i was thinking i’d say.” 

- i essentially explaine dthe whole plot but 

- i love this podcast a lot

- it was very sweet

- and very cute

- very wlw 

- i don’t even mind that i almost got hit by a car while i was running and listening to this it was worth it 

- idk. just like. anyone who’s ever read or written fic or just like...not necessarily fallen in love with another person? but at least relating to that feeling of “oh god i am not qualified to talk to this person” and “oh god what if they realize i’m actually,,,,a loser” and “oh god wait how to friend” can probably hit a lot of people

- but that said. the romance was very cute, very sweet, makes me :’))) 

- okay i’ll stop talking now but i just. it’s very cute, very relatable, i wish we had a season 2 but i think it’s a limited series. (but they’re living rent free in my head! forever!)

[contemplativepancakes]

fanfiction tag game

thank you for tagging me @witcher-and-his-bard and @dhwty-writes ! i did this faster than one business month, so I'm pretty proud of that. It's not because I'm avoiding doing my dishes at all...

how many works do you have on Ao3?

45!

what’s your total Ao3 word count?

299,897... I had no idea I was that close to 300k o: I have about 15k that'll be posted in the next week, so look forward to me blazing past that

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

enough to drive a man mad ...you write one fake dating fic

five times geralt saw jaskier naked on accident + one time it was entirely on purpose

the thorny heart of a wolf Jaskier is a romance novelist, and Geralt is blissfully unaware

of stolen shirts and sorrow

yarn rants with dandelion

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yes! for me, it makes my day just as much when an author replies to me as when I get a comment on one of my things, so I try to reply unless I miss something. It just might take me a while (:

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I don't do sad endings, but I would say the happiest one is Gonna Take You Downtown

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Angst with happy endings only for me! (so far, I've got some sitting in my wips, for sure (;

do you write crossovers?

I might write a fic based on another piece of media, but I've never written an actual crossover before. too niche, even for me

have you ever received hate on a fic?

(: it's a sucky thing to do to someone! if you're leaving a mean comment on a fic, you obviously read it, and when you leave that comment all you're doing is killing someone's motivation to write. just delete it and keep scrolling

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

whatever the situation calls for ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

have you ever co-written a fic before?

I about said no, but that's a big old lie. I've been a part of the three of the train fics that have been floating around! my job is to make it as hard as possible for whoever goes after me (:

what’s your all-time favourite ship?

...destiel. still the greatest love story of all time. when will there ever be an 11 year will they won't they with all the odds against them again?

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Mm... my fic that was a rewrite of supernatural still true to all the canon but Dean and Cas are in a relationship after they get out of purgatory. I didn't think they'd give us anything ever on screen, so that threw a bit of a wrench into my plans.

what are your writing strengths?

Openings? Maybe? I think I'm not too bad at jumping straight into the action and hooking people. Also banter! from real world experience (:

what are your writing weaknesses?

transitions, my beloathed

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

just depends. I go wild for people describing hand movements for sign language, but anything else? meh

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Supernatural! A very angsty fic I wrote in high school

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

stay lost in this moment forever It is 10k of domestic coast fluff where geralt gets to live his dream and has 3 horses named roach. (it's my dream too)

Thank you for the tags! I love getting the chance to sift through my ao3 :D

if anyone wants to do this, consider yourself tagged! but i am going to also tag @theamazingbard, just to be a nuisance. (:

[willowsrain]

20 Questions

20 Questions tag~

Tagged by @deadlyglacier! Thank you! <3 

How many works do you have on AO3?

5! 

What’s your total AO3 word count?

16,903 

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

In total? I’ve written for three. Rockman.EXE/Megaman NT Warrior when I was younger and on FF.Net, Persona 5 (that I deleted from AO3), and FMA

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well I only have five, so that’s easy at least! 

Aureate - Roy is a sap disaster when it comes to Ed. Contains lots of references to the color ‘gold’, copious amounts of schmoop, and some NSFW in the form of consensual somnophilia. 

The Waning Moon - Ed is dying from ALS. This was inspired by my work as a nursing assistant in an Assisted Living home, after I found that so, so many medical fics disregard the most ugly parts of dying. So I set out to make this as accurate and ugly as I possibly could. 

Floo-ke Encounters of the Magical Variety - The obligatory HP/FMA fusion set in the FMA-verse. Ed’s a wizard going to Hogwarts with a time turner and after a problem with the Floo, he comes out of Roy’s office fireplace when he’s supposed to be on a mission in South City. Whoops.

En Garde - The college tour-guide AU that I couldn’t actually bear to write as a tour-guide AU, so I wrote about Ed and Roy being on the fencing team. There’s a horrible amount of fencing innuendos, courtesy of Roy - and Ed threatening to shove Roy’s foil up his ass. I had way too much fun with this one. 

Dance with Books - An Ed/Al drabble that I wrote with two excellent prompt one liners. 

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to? But I kinda suck at it... I’ll get better at it, I swear! And comments make me scream happily. 

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

The Waning Moon. I gave the fic two different endings, with the ‘bad’ ending being the ‘true’ ending that I had in mind when I wrote it. In it, Ed offers what remains of his life to Truth in order to return Roy’s vision to him, and so that Ed no longer has to suffer with his disease. 

A snippet of the end of the 2nd chapter: 

He buried his face in his hands, covering his wretched eyes in the process. Edward might have given him his sight back, but now everything he saw was forever tainted with death.

Which was, Roy mused, a fate most befitting for the Flame Alchemist.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hm... Aureate, probably? It’s a sappy fic that you need to make sure you brush your teeth after reading, because it’ll give you cavities otherwise. It ends with the two of them saying ‘I love you’, so I’m not sure it gets much happier than that!

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes! The Harry Potter one is the only one I’ve posted so far, but I’m currently planning out one for Persona 5 based in the FMA verse, where Roy and his team all have personas and the ability to enter the cognitive world. Roy and Ed are together, and Roy starts to have the nagging sensation that Ed might be suffering from a palace - and it turns out he’s right. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thankfully no! But I also avoid FF.Net like the plague, so... that might have something to do with it. I also try to be very clear about anything that may be triggering, such as the pairings I write for, or any sensitive topics. So far, the haters have stayed away from my fics, phew! I hope it stays that way!

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I mean, I wrote Aureate, so... yes? I struggle a lot with it, but I plan to keep writing to hopefully get better at it. But consensual smut is a must. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thank goodness no! 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also no! 

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’m working with someone right now to write an ABO-verse FMA fic. More details to come when we finish it :3 

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

RoyEd. Preferably with Ed being aged up into adult age. There’s something about having two characters who both understand the demons that the other suffers from, and they can exist (and thrive) in each others’ worlds and minds that I absolutely adore. They’re also amazing foils for each other that cover each other’s weaknesses beautifully.  

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

My P5-like rewrite of Brotherhood. Sigh. I want to. It’s one that incorporates the social aspect of P5 into FMA for Ed. IE - for each ‘rank up’ of each person that he bonds with, he grows his knowledge of alchemy, and gathers different talents that Truth gives him as he grows. 

For example, Truth is represented by the Fool arcana, and at first Rank with it - Ed gains the ability to read the intention behind any array that he sees. As he hits rank 2 with Truth, Truth has the ability to speak to Ed without being in Truth’s realm. 

With the other arcana, as he maxes out the social rank with each person, he gains knowledge of an array that he’ll need in order to fight Father on the Promised Day. But Maes dies before Ed can complete his social rank, SO WHAT IS HE GONNA DO?! :3

What are your writing strengths?

Uh, I’m not sure? I like to think that I channel the character whose POV I’m writing through pretty well. And I like showing their thoughts and attitudes through the story itself. 

As an example from En Garde - 

“Alright! Let’s get started, everyone! Sabres to the north, Foils with me in the center, and Epees to the south!” Roy called out, his voice projecting without making his voice sound any less attractive.

Holy fuck, Ed was already in over his head. He was screwed. Dead. Done. Double done. Absolutely and utterly fucked. And judging from Roy’s flirting, potentially actually fucked.

Shit.

And with that lovely thought, practice started.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I get bored, especially if there’s a part of the story that I’m extremely excited to write. I either start to skimp out on the details of the part of the story prior to it, or I’ll just skip right to the part that I *want* to write, which can sometimes make it read a bit awkwardly when I go back and try to connect it. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Eh. I find it pretty distracting, unless the words/titles are ones that are well known in the fandom. But if I have to scroll to the beginning or end of the chapter to get a translation, I’m not really going to enjoy it. If you *really* want to write in another language (which I’m not at all against), just put the english dialogue in a different type/font to show it’s in a different language. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Megaman NT Warrior (Rockman.EXE). God I loved that show so much when I was younger. I used to carry around notebooks and whenever I had to go to appointments, or I was on the bus, I would jot down ideas and write out stories. But holy shit I was *awful* at it! 

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Floo-ke Encounters. It was so much fun to write from start to finish. Roy singing into a stapler and dancing around his office (And can I just say that I am beyond disappointed that NO ONE noticed that he was singing “The Ring of Fire” from Johnny Cash. DISSAPOINT.), Roy having a more or less panic attack as he realized that there were, in fact, TWO Edward Elrics existing at the same time, and Ed’s sheer glee in tormenting Roy. I love it! 

Tagging: @kylermalloy @konekowrites @kugisaki-nobara-rights