#do i put this in tags these people will follow?? am i the drama?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queermania · 4 months

Note

I don't want to start drama and I don't expect you to respond to this but I think you deserve to know what's being said about you. tumblr. com/transfagbenny/738678589192552448/and-id-appreciate-if-we-stopped-using-the-terms

i actually am going to address this because this person has been lying about what's been going on for months and they've apparently been harassing other people for months if not years, so. it's time to put an end to this.

before i start though i want to make it abundantly clear that if you take this as an opportunity to do anything other than block this person, then you are trash. do not send him messages. do not tag him in things. do not harass him in any way. leave him alone. if you need to block, do so and then move on. hate mail and harassment is disgusting behavior and i don't want to be surrounded by anybody who engages in it. and if you do it on my behalf, i think you are worthless and i want nothing to do with you.

so, this is what happened: back in february of 2023, an anon asked me if i had any opinions that would get me canceled with the dean girlies. i replied, "oh now we’re talking!! hmmmm let’s see. i don’t care about benny at all. deanbenny does nothing for me. deanbenny is dust. it is dust. drowley rights forever" and i did not tag it because i'm not an asshole. bear then sent me a message that at the time i thought was funny/cute because his url reflected that he was obviously a huge benny fan. we had a very cordial exchange. everything was good. we chatted a little bit about how neat it would've been if benny had been played by a black actor and how the racism problem with gordon would've been fixed if gordon had been played by a white actor. not all of our conversation is visible anymore (and i also don't think all of it was on this post anyway) because i've since blocked him so his replies no longer show up on my posts. the point is: everything was fine. it was a good tumblr exchange. he continued to follow me. i did not follow him then or at any point.

the problem is that he kept coming onto my posts and into my inbox to try to make things about benny. that is not okay. i had already said that benny was a character (and deanbenny a ship) that i was not interested in. to me, this is an obvious boundary i've established that he repeatedly crossed. it's not an egregious violation, obviously. more than anything it's annoying. what he should've done, if benny was that important to him, was unfollow me and move on. but he didn't and i indulged him for awhile but at a certain point i thought, "okay maybe if i stop indulging him, he'll take the hint." so i stopped responding. he did not take the hint. he got worse and he even started commenting on things that he couldn't make about benny, just to willfully misinterpret things i said and taking them completely out of context. unfortunately, i don't have receipts for any of this because at the time i didn't know it was going to become an actual problem (however I have since learned that this is an established pattern of behavior he engages in, so you can probably find examples on other people's blogs).

it got so annoying, though, that i very carefully broached the subject in a private server with people i trusted. without naming any names or using any incriminating language (i.e. not specifically referencing benny), i basically said that there was someone being annoying about a specific character on my posts and i wasn't sure what to do about it. immediately, a handful of people replied with some variation of "the benny stan? he's been doing that to me too." i do have receipts of this (and an entire server to back me up) but i hope you can all understand why i'm not going to provide those or name names (or ask anyone to get involved publicly). the point is, it became apparent that i wasn't the only one and this was a pattern of behavior. i also learned during that conversation that bear has a history of harassing people and calling someone racist or a transphobe if they block him.

at that point, i decided not to rock the boat. i would just continue to ignore him and maybe he would get bored and move on. well that obviously didn't happen. he kept doing it and as a fun added bonus, he started to make vague posts about me. the thing is i don't actually care if he vagueblogs about me. it's his blog. he can do whatever he wants. it's none of my business. i mean i personally think he should've just unfollowed but, again, his blog, his choice. it is annoying that every single time he would do it, someone would send me a link or a screenshot of him doing it, but that's not really his fault. so, again, i just ignored it.

this is where we get to the incident in question. after a private discussion among a small group of friends, i posted this obviously joke poll at the insistence of @letterstothedevil, a tumblr user who has given me permission to include her in this.

the original message about the poll:

the permission:

now EYE think it's abundantly clear that the poll was a joke amongst friends, but maybe it wasn't, and i'm not going to fault anyone for not magically knowing that. i am, however, totally willing to fault someone for being a gigantic asshole. bear commented on the post and i, admittedly, gave a somewhat dismissive response because at that point i was so tired of him being willfully obtuse and twisting every little thing i said that i just didn't want to bother. he then went and made a series of not-at-all-vague posts calling me racist and claiming that i simply do not care about the racism in the show and it's obvious because i've never ever discussed it on my blog (which is a hilarious lie given that i'd specifically discussed it on my blog with him). at that point, there was no reason not to block him. he was already doing the thing that i didn't want to deal with. so i did. and i thought that would be the end of it.

again, i was wrong.

i then started to get anon messages daily about benny and deanbenny and how i'm racist for not liking benny, etc. this was harassment that EYE was on the receiving end of. nobody else was a victim of the messages i was being sent. they were sent to me and it is not my job to make sure other people are protected from the harassment that i am experiencing. i'm pointing this out for two reasons: 1. because i did try to protect bear from it for awhile anyway. i knew that people would assume it was him and at the time i was still giving him the benefit of the doubt, if for no other reason than the fact that i didn't think he could send me messages since i blocked him. and 2. because when i did finally start to respond to some of the messages, bear acted like he was somehow the victim in all of this (and continues to act that way to this day).

i don't know if bear had (or currently has) anything to do with any of the messages i get (which, thankfully, have slowed considerably). what i do know is that at no point during any of this happening did he stop looking at my blog and vagueblogging about me.

when i finally did answer a few of the messages, bear had a bit of a meltdown about it. i know this because he used a separate account that i hadn't know existed to message me and because he talked to one of my friends about it. (i'm not going to name that person but if they want to get involved publicly of their own accord, that's up to them lol). i'm also not going to share screenshots of what bear said to me because he explicitly asked me not to (it's also the reason i'm not sharing screenshots of the numerous receipts i have of the things he's said and lied about on his blog but, unless he's deleted any of them, you can go and find the posts yourselves.) what i am going to share is that in the message he sent to me, he flat out lied about his behavior. he told me he hadn't been vague-blogging about me, that he would never ever do that about anyone, and that he would certainly never harass someone (all things that i have receipts of him doing).

it took me awhile to respond to this message because i was still trying to be gracious about the whole situation. i recognize that he is much younger than i am and i think it's important for me, as a full blown adult, to take that into account. i had a private discussion with a few trusted friends about how to handle this because it was important to me to not let him off the hook for his behavior and for lying just because he's young. this is what i ended up saying:

his response was to double-down on his lies (while, hilariously, vague-blogging about me and the whole thing) and then go into victim mode about something so completely unrelated and far-fetched that i decided i simply wanted nothing to do with him ever. (this is when he asked me not to share screenshots, so i won't, but this is me saying that i have ALL of the receipts, bear, so if you continue to lie, you will not like what happens.) i blocked his alternate account and tried to ignore him.

the harassment continued. again, i have no idea if he was actually part of it. the vagueblogging continued. he started to do it to other people he associated with me. many of them blocked him because of his behavior. i continued to answer some of the hate i received, continued to ignore and/or block most of it. it got so bad that i was sent seizure bait on more than one occasion, one time bad enough that i actually ended up going to the ER. there are receipts of all of this, too. you can see on my blog the messages i've been sent. i think at one point i even shared a snapshot of what my inbox looked like. i've shared privately with friends (who can confirm if they want to, but no pressure) screenshots of the kinds of messages i get that i don't respond to. the point is, that for a period of months, i was relentlessly harassed. and at no point during this time did i say anything to or about bear (or anyone else). the most i've done is respond to messages that have been sent to me. i've largely sat quietly while this thing happened to me and bear continued to make posts about me and act like he is somehow a victim in this. he's assumed things about me and my identity. he's violated boundaries i've set. he will not let this go. and i'm not the only one he's doing it to.

i'm so fucking tired of it. leave me alone. leave my blog alone. leave my friends alone. leave any and all of the people who have blocked you for your own inappropriate and obnoxious behavior alone. that's it. that's the end. none of this would be happening if you would just respect other people's boundaries. i don't want you on my blog. i do not want to interact with you. i don't want anything to do with you. that's it. the end.

#replies #anonymous #wank for ts

222 notes · View notes

smoooothoperator · 4 months

Text

untouchable

03: Let It Snow

Lando Norris x OC (Violet Sinclair)

same group friend, unrequited love, acquittances to lovers, ski trip, love triangle

Words: 2.6k

Warnings: drama starts now!!! lando being a simp (sorry not sorry), italics are flashbacks

a/n: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! even if it's not happy for me because I'm sick lol. I hope everyone is okay and had an amazing end of the year with all your loved ones and I wish everyone has an upcoming great year too!

Masterlist

Official Playlist

previous chapter | next chapter

If you want to be tagged don't forget to message me!

Every way of feedback is very welcomed

Life has taught me that you can't control someone's loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, it doesn't mean they'll treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, it doesn't mean they'll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least.

But no matter what happens, I would always defend them, even when they don't deserve it. No matter if both of them hurt me, not being aware of my own feelings or ignoring them, I would always be by their side.

That's what friends do, right? That's what a loyal friend does.

So here I am, ignoring the noises they make upstairs, ignoring the stabs of my heart and keeping a straight face while Max, Pietra and Lando complain about them.

“At least they went to their room” I mumbled under my breath, swallowing the pain behind every word I said.

I felt Lando's pitiful eyes on me, but I decided to ignore him and keep taking things out of the bags.

“We should go out and explore” Pietra said. “The lady from the ski shop said that near this house there's a path with nice views”

“Yeah, that's a good idea” Lando said.

“Okay, let me go tell Harry and Eloise” I sighed, but heard them sigh in disapproval. “What?”

“Come on, ignore them” Lando said. “They clearly don't want to be with us. If they did, they would be here instead of fucking like rabbits upstairs”

I smiled, just because they way he said it was funny. But I just felt a little stab again. They don't want to be with us? They don't want to be with me? Of course they don't. Of course Harry doesn't want to be with me, he has his Eloise. What am I compared with her?

“Come on” Lando smiled.

I nodded slowly, walking upstairs and taking a deep breath when I walked in front of the door of their room, fighting the urge to knock and stopping them just to feel satisfied, and went to my room. I smiled when I recognized the smell of caramel.

I wonder who did it, who sprayed an air freshener inside of this room.

With a little smile I grabbed warm clothes and put them on, wrapping the scarf around my neck and putting the gloves on my hands. After putting the warm coat on me, I walked out and tried to ignore their voices inside the room, mumbling and panting words.

“I'm ready” I said, swallowing the lump inside my throat and watching Pietra and Max hold their hands before walking out of the house.

Lando looked at me and held the door open for me, making me nod and walk out in front of him, flinching softly when I heard how he slammed the door closed, making the snow of the porch fall right in front of me.

“Why did you do that?” I frowned, looking back at him

“To let them know we left” he said, raising his shoulders, indifferent. “So they can do whatever they want”

I swallowed thickly and nodded, walking in front of him and following the couple in front of us.

It was Eloise who asked me to come to the trip. She was the one that insisted, saying that we could have fun together. But it seems that the one she's having fun with is with her boyfriend, something she does everyday.

Lando and I walked in silence, not uncomfortable or comfortable. It was a silence filled with the crunch of the snow under our shoes, with the sniffles because of the cold weather, with Pietra’s giggles and Max’s chuckles. Both of us are used to this silence between us, standing or sitting next to the other and not sharing a word.

Maybe he doesn't trust me? We barely talk, it's not like Eloise, who sometimes goes to his races because she's Harry's plus one. But still, his presence gives me comfort.

“Tomorrow is your birthday” he said, and I just nodded. “What do you want to do?”

What do I want to do? Have Harry's attention, maybe. Not receiving his grunts or watching him roll his eyes. I would even like to go back in time where we were friends and he talked to me like a friend…

“I don't know” I sighed, shaking my head side to side. “Usually I spend my birthday with my parents”

“And why didn't you go? Why coming here?”

“They went on a trip too” I said, laughing with a bit of sadness in my voice. “For their wedding anniversary. So yeah, my birthday and Christmas without them”

“Hey, but you are here with us” he said, making me look at him, at how he smiled.

“Yeah…”

“It will be fun, I promise” he nodded. “We planned a lot of things for this week, you will be alright”

I smiled and nodded, hiding half of my face with the scarf and breathing the scent of it. Hiding my disappointment because my parents forgot that this week was my birthday.

“What do you mean you want us to cancel the trip?”

“I mean… I end the classes that week, and I wanted to spend time with you…” I sighed, playing with the lace of my hoodie.

“We planned this trip months ago. And you know it's because of our 25th wedding anniversary, Violet!” she exclaimed, making me look down at my lap and pull away the phone from my ear.

“Yeah, but…”

“God, stop being selfish”

She called me selfish, because I wanted to be with my family for my birthday and Christmas.

Maybe it's true and I'm selfish. Is it because I want things that I don't deserve?

Hearing her giggles while towing snowballs is like hearing the most beautiful melody ever composed. And knowing that the one that made her giggle is me because I threw her a snowball, makes me happy.

People might think that I'm like a stalker, but all I am is a coward.

A coward that can't confess his own feelings, a coward that can't take a step forward and open the eyes of the woman he loves.

“How did you know about Velaris?” I heard her ask me, with a big smile on her lips.

Oh, Velaris. That fictional city of those books she's reading.

“Ah, my sister is reading the same books as you” I said. Liar. Coward.

“No way! Really? Then you should have brought her here too” she chuckled. “I'm sure she would have loved it”

“Yeah…” I nodded.

I heard her sigh happily, taking deep breaths and admiring the landscape, watching how the cold made her cheeks and the tip of her nose be red.

“This is the best birthday gift someone could give me” I heard her whisper.

And I only needed that to be happy.

The four of us continued walking until I heard Violet's phone notification. I saw her stop walking so I just stopped some steps in front of her, waiting for her. But when I saw her clench her jaw and take a deep breath, I sighed.

“Everything's okay?” I asked her, and she looked up at me with a forced smile.

“Eloise is asking where are we” she sighed. “They are hungry, I guess…”

“They are old enough to cook themselves whatever they want” I said, and I surprised myself of how rude I sounded.

“Y-yeah, but…” she sighed. “Maybe we should go back to the house? So we can have lunch all together? A-and I'm tired because of the flight, too…”

“Okay” I sighed, looking around and finding Max and Pietra, whistling with my fingers to get their attention.

When they came back frowning I just smiled at them weakly. Max asked with his eyes what was going on, and he only needed to look at Violet to understand.

“I'll cook lunch” she said.

“That's nice, thank you!” Pietra smiled, walking towards her and linking their arms together.

The two of them walked in front of us, talking about something Max and I couldn't hear well.

And it was the perfect moment for Max to look at me and do the question:

“It's her, right?” he asked. “Violet. The reason of everything you've done”

I looked at him with a sad smile, and somehow let the mask of indifference fall in front of him, showing him my sad smile of someone that has to see how the woman I love wants to be with someone else.

“Of course she is” I sighed.

“Since when?” he frowned.

“Since the moment she came late to that dinner because she was lost and accidentally stormed inside my neighbor's house” I smiled weakly.

I still think about that day. I still remember the worry on Eloise's face when she couldn't stop looking at her watch because her friend was being late, and she never was late. I still remember how Harry brushed it off, saying that nobody's perfect and that it's impossible that someone always arrives on time, that maybe she spent too much time getting ready or doing other things.

But what I remember the best is how she opened the front door and how all of us looked at her relieved, how the blush of embarrassment painted her cheeks and how she smiled nervously at everyone while she apologized for being late.

The moment she sat on the floor in front of me, placing the homemade cookies on the table, was the moment I felt Cupid's arrow stabbing my chest.

“Why don't you tell her?” he frowned.

“I'll try. I'll try to tell her this week, she deserves to know…”

The walk back to the house was quiet, between Max and I, and the moment Violet opened the front door of the house, I immediately got annoyed.

“Where were you?” Harry asked.

But no, he wasn't looking at us, no. He was looking at Violet, wanting answers of where she was.

“Dude” Max frowned when he felt how tense I was the moment I heard him ask that.

“We went outside for a walk” Violet said, looking away. “You were too busy to notice that we left, or even that I went with Lando to pick up Max and Pietra”

I tried to choke a laugh, biting the inside of my cheek and hiding my smile with my hand. But Max noticed it. Harry looked at us and frowned, rolling his eyes and walking upstairs again.

“Asshole” I whispered and Max chuckled.

Harry is our friend, yeah. But that doesn't mean that lately I've been hating him. I've been hating how he treats Violet, how he controls her and gives her hope but then he throws her away later. Even if he's dating Eloise, he always finds a way of giving her hopes.

Violet started making lunch and she immediately was surrounded by Harry, looking at what she was doing. But the worst of it was Violet's smile, feeling him close to her.

And it made my blood boil, watching how she looked at him and did what he said.

I wish she did that with me whenever I talk to her.

Later that day we went to the first activity we planned, going on a snowmobile through the same path we walked through hours before. And I was so excited because I knew that she was going to be sitting behind me.

“Are you ready?” I asked her when I saw her walking towards me.

“You said you already drove this thing before, right?” she said, adjusting her helmet and coat.

“Come on, you will be with the best driver of the group, you are safe” I laughed, holding a hand out to help her sit behind me.

When she held my hand I swear I felt tinglings, her hand was of the perfect size for my hand even if she had gloves. And when she saw behind me, with her chest on my back, I could die there. She placed her hands on my sides, awkwardly, holding the material of my coat.

“Wrap your arms around me, Violet” I said, holding one of her hands and placing it on my abdomen, making her move closer to me and, this time, holding me tighter.

I felt eyes on my nape, maybe Harry's eyes. But I didn't care. I absolutely don't care anymore.

“You like Violet”

It wasn't a question. An affirmation. He only needed a week to see that, to see the way I look at her after I met her for the first time.

“What if I do?” I frowned, ignoring the way he was looking at me. The disapproval. The jealousy. The possessiveness in his eyes.

“Don't. I won't approve that. She's my friend. Mine, not yours. Who would want to be with a man that is barely home, hm? Or that is involved in many dating rumors?”

That's what made me not move forward. His jealousy, the pain in my chest with every word.

But I decided that it was time to do whatever I wanted. It was time to act the way I want with her, to be myself and not an idiot that doesn't celebrate every triumph she has or talk to her and hold her.

“It's going to be okay” I said, looking back at her. “This is safe, I promise”

“Okay, I trust you” she said, sitting comfortably.

I smiled. She trusts me.

I started the engine, and all of us started to explore the place, looking around us and taking pictures.

I felt her resting her head on my back, her arms still wrapped around me tightly but more relaxed.

“Can I ask you something?” I heard her.

“Of course” I nodded.

“Why are you always so cold with me?” she sighed, readjusting herself and getting closer. “You are close to Pietra, even to Eloise. But with me… it's only short answers and awkward glances between us”

Oh, Violet… If you knew. If you knew how much I want to hold you every second of the day you wouldn't ask this.

“You wouldn't understand” I said instead.

“Then make me understand. Make me understand why you are distant with me, why we only text or talk for important things” she said. “I want to be your friend, Lando…”

That even hurt more than not being able to have her.

Something changed in the way Lando acted around me after this afternoon.

He was talkative with me, he searched for my gaze after saying something, like trying to find a confident look.

He even volunteered himself to help me make dinner, grabbing all the things from the fridge and helping me take them to the living room, sitting in front of me afterwards. Somehow, I felt his eyes on me, watching my movements, scanning me and trying to read my mind.

And I should feel uncomfortable. It should made me feel observed, intimidated. But all the times I caught his gaze, I smiled at him and received a smile back.

But because of that, he didn't talk to me since we came back to the house.

Harry ignored me during dinner, not looking at me or commenting on anything I said. He didn't even say good night when he and Eloise got up to go to bed, leaving me with a pain in my chest and many questions about what I did wrong.

“Let him be” I heard Max sigh.

“But…” I sighed, watching how he walked upstairs with Eloise following him.

“You should assume that this week he will ignore all of us” he continued, making me swallow thickly.

“Ah…”

I sighed, looking at my phone. The clock says that it was already my birthday. And I started to wonder… will I be ignored too?

taglist

@elisysd @racinggirl-extra @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @landoyesrizz @lorarri @bellwhysomean @leptitlu @aphroditeisamilf @brekkers-whore

163 notes · View notes

holybibly · 21 days

Text

Hello everyone, bunnies or not (due to recent events). Today we're going to talk about serious things.

Over the past few weeks I've been getting more and more negative messages in my inbox. To be honest, I didn't really care at first, but the last few days have become a real test of my patience.

Even today. I just posted my first response to the Unholy Hour in the last two weeks, and a ton of negativity, disrespect, criticism and just plain rude behaviour poured in in response. So I want to make a few things clear.

I have created this blog as a safe and free space for everyone. It's a place you can come back to and not feel like you don't "fit in". There are no bans, restrictions, judgements, criticism or rudeness here. This is a place where everyone can find themselves and be who they want to be, not who society tells them to be. Damn, if someone wants to be a cat or a bunny, what the hell do you care, look after yourself, find a hobby, leave people alone. I will not tolerate people on my blog who tell other people what to do and label them. If you find me strange, unpleasant, rude, please unfollow me or even block me so that my messages do not appear in your feed. It will be much better than receiving all the crap you write to me anonymously.

Tagged question: Am I giving enough warnings? Am I using enough banners? Do I give enough indication that this is NSFW content? If you are confused by my work, you don't have to read it! You can stop at the beginning, but please that we are all adults here. Seriously, are you having sex, watching porn, discussing these topics with friends and not getting enough warning? Again, this blog is a safe and free place without judgement or negativity. Someone even mentioned rape in my work, and I'm not completely stupid for not mentioning it in my warnings. All my work involves "absolute consent". I do this absolutely freely and voluntarily, I like writing, I love it, but the more negative messages I get, the more I lose the desire to do it. I love myself very much and I don't want to waste my emotions with endless negativity, it's easier for me to close the blog and live my life.

Feedback. Bunnies (I'm still hoping), when I ask for your opinion, PLEASE give feedback in the comments. You may not "like" the post, but I need to hear from you. Writers need to know what to do. I don't want to waste hours of my time on something you're not going to be interested in. Every work I do is a huge effort. I don't have beta readers, English is not my first language, so imagine how much time I spend proofreading my work, checking grammar, punctuation, style. That is why I need to communicate with you. I know this is an uncomfortable conversation. I'm not a drama queen, I just want respect and understanding. This whole situation has also caused my activity to decrease.

Listen, if for some reason you feel uncomfortable, the atmosphere on the blog is unpleasant, or my works are not suitable for you due to the large amount of graphic sexual content, please stop following me and reading my ffs. There are many other authors with great work that can satisfy your need for content.

I don't want to get hate that I don't deserve. First of all, it is your own choice, I have never forced anyone to do anything. Respect the authors, be grateful for the effort they put into entertaining you.

I hope I have given you my thoughts.

And on a lighter note, the Unholy Hours are on tomorrow. I hope everyone has a good day/night.

#sugar and sin #bunny questions #18+ blog

70 notes · View notes

holdmytesseract · 1 year

Text

The Tale of the Easter Bunny

Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader

Summary: Loki's part he has to play on Tony's Easter party didn't go as planned; leaving its mark on you...

Warnings: Loki thirst, nakedness? suggestive smut/light smut, swear words, it's also a bit funny

Word Count: 2,7k

a/n: There we are! Time for my lil' Easter Special... Enjoy! 😁 And happy easter to everyone who is celebrating! 🐣

Also huge thanks to @lokisgoodgirl , who helped me along a bit and read through it, 'cause I was afraid that it's not good enough... 🙈

Divider by the wonderful @fictive-sl0th <3

Tagging: @lulubelle814 @km-ffluv @lokisgoodgirl @eleniblue @muddyorbs @loz-3 @vbecker10 @jennyggggrrr @lokisninerealms @mochie85 @chantsdemarins @peaches1958 @multifandom-worlds @fictive-sl0th @loki-laufeyson-1054 @theaudacitytowrite @lovingchoices14 @simping-for-marvel @stupidthoughtsinwriting @vanilla-daydreaming @lou12346789 @kimanne723 @linaax @coldnique @lady-rose-moon @evelyn-kingsley @the-princess-of-loki @acefeather2002 @aagn360 @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @iamlokisgloriouspurpose and a few peeps who I think would enjoy that... @buttercupcookies-blog @lunarnights95 @infinitystoner @liminalpebble @smolvenger @littlespaceyelf @joyful-enchantress

Masterlist

Chairs screeched across the floor of the big, spacious room, after the 7 o'clock meeting was finally over. Everyone scrambled to get the hell outta here. It's been a long day and every member of the Avengers wanted to just go into bed and not stay longer than Steve 'forced' them to.

That had been the raven-haired God's plan as well - but he didn't even make it to round the large table, before a firm voice stopped him in his tracks. "Reindeer Games." It was Tony, of course, causing Loki to sigh. Spinning around on his heels, he faced the man with an annoyed, bored expression. "Stark." The billionaire nodded towards the back of the room. "For a word..." A low groan of disapproval rumbled through the God's chest as he complied; following Tony.

"What do you want?" Loki more or less snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. "Woah, slow down, princess. No need to turn into a diva..." Loki rolled his eyes, already hating this conversation. "I just meant to tell you that I've got the perfect job for you on my annual Easter garden party."

Oh, right... The Easter party... Tony organised a party on Easter every year, on which each team member was invited, but also had a little job to do - and this year, it was the first time Loki and his brother were a part of it. The Asgardian prince forgot about this already again - and to be honest, he didn't even know that much about those... festives. He knew it was important to the people here on Midgard, but to him?

"Which would be?" "You..." Tony pointed at him. "Are going to play the bunny." Loki blinked, looking quite confused at the billionaire. "I beg your pardon? The bunny?" Tony crossed his arms, now annoyed as well. "Yes, the bunny." No doubt, the God was very confused. "Why in all the nine realms a bunny, Stark? What am I supposed to do as this little, terrifying creature? If this is to humiliate me, I-" Tony interrupted him. "It's not, Reindeer Games. Calm down. For gosh sake, if I would've known that you'd be such a drama queen about this, I would've assigned Thor to do it." Loki rolled his eyes - again. "What am I supposed to do then?" Tony sighed, clearly having enough. "Just... wear that bunny costume. I'll tell you on the party." The God cursed internally; had actually no intentions to even join the party, but he clearly had to, in order to 'integrate into the group', as Fury put it. If he wanted to stay and not return to Asgard, he had to - as strange as it sounded - become an Avenger. If joining Stark's party as a bunny would help him, then by the Norns he'd do it.

"Fine." "There we go. Now was that so difficult?" Loki gritted his teeth; biting his tongue in order to prevent a snarky comment to leave his lips. "Hand me the costume, Stark, before I'm going to rethink my decision." Tony shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't have one. I-" He was cut off by the ringing of his phone. "You don't even have one?!" The God snarled, feeling his muscles tense. "Just get one! You are a big boy who can buy things himself, aren't you? Now if you'd excuse me, this is important." After those words Tony answered his call and walked away, out of the room - leaving Loki behind.

With the days passing and the party getting closer, Loki hadn't much time left to look for a costume. And therefore, that he didn't even know what kind of costume exactly he had to wear, he did the thing he learned here on Midgard... Googling. So, the Asgardian prince opened up Google and searched for a bunny costume. Unfortunately, he wasn't very... familiar with this foreign search engine, resulting in a rather big... misunderstanding. Loki did get a result, of course, but unbeknownst to him, a not particular Easter themed one... His eyes widened slightly as his gaze fell on the first thing that came up. Stark wants me to wear that? He asked himself. But after he gave the costume a second look, a mischievous, cheeky smile darted over his face. Alright.

When you arrived at Tony's, was the garden party already in full swing. Everybody was chatting, laughing and having fun.

Natasha and Wanda sat at the small mini bar, chatting with Pepper. Tony stood behind the grill, already preparing barbecue. Bruce discussed vociferously something scientific with Vision, while Clint and Cap nursed two bottles of beer. And Thor and Scott? Well, they jumped around in Morgan's trampoline - who was at a friend's Easter children party today. The only one missing was Loki. At least you couldn't see him anywhere. Too bad, you thought.

Taking a deep breath, you walked over to your friends and wrapped your arms around both their shoulders from behind. "Hey guys." "Y/N, hey!" "Hey, sweetie." They both greeted you with a smile and slid over, so that you could sit between them on one of the bar stools. Sipping on the drink Pepper made you, you small-talked to the three women for a while, until two of them excused themselves to look after their husbands - leaving you and Nat on your own.

"Have you seen Loki, Nat?" You asked, checking your surroundings again. The Russian spy shook her head, red curls bobbing. "No, sorry, I haven't seen your lover boy, but I heard he's been assigned from Tony to play the Easter bunny." You frowned. "The Easter bun- Hey, he isn't my lover boy!" Natasha smirked. "But you wished he was. I know how you're looking at him, babe." "I... I don't look at him..." She giggled. "Fuck yes, you do. Literally undressing him with your eyes. You are so deep down; you don't even realise it." You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. "Nat, I swear I'm not undre- Oh fucking hell..." You trailed off with your sentence, as the squeaky garden door announced another arrival. And it was not just somebody... It was the one and only God of Mischief and prince of Asgard - Loki. It wasn't the fact that he was here which threw you off track so suddenly and caused you to use words Cap wouldn't be pleased to hear, no... It was his outfit...

"N-Nat..." You mumbled, reaching blindly for your friend's arm, in order to tap her. "Yeah?" Her gaze was clued to the raven-haired God as well. Admittedly, everyone's eyes were on him. "That... That wasn't what Tony meant with a bunny costume, was it?" The Widow shook her head slowly. "I don't think so..." "Oh gods..." Loki was wearing a bunny costume, yes - but not the 'right' one. Or should you say the clean one, because... This... This was certainly X-rated.

He was nude - for the most part. The only piece of clothing which prevented him from entire nakedness, were the tight, scarce trunks he wore. The black leather shimmered in the warm sun, as it stretched itself deliciously tight over his hips, groin and crotch - leaving not much to imagination. Thick, juicy thighs were framing the trunks. Your eyes wandered, travelled down his ridiculously long legs, before they jumped up again to meet his bare upper body. You had never seen this man shirtless before, but oh boy was it a sight to behold. Your wide, Y/E/C orbs followed the dark, coarse hairs of his happy trail; starting at the hem of the skimpy trunks, all the way up until they kissed his belly button, which was surrounded by the tight muscles of his abs. Not too far from them were his defined pecs, decorated with black, fine hairs as well. Your eyes lingered, then travelled further up to jump from one broad shoulder to the other, before they met his delicious neck - which donned a white-black bow tie and only led you into the next thirst trap... His handsome face. Razor sharp cheekbones, a defined jawline, kissable lips and deep, mysterious blue eyes. And all that was surrounded by his long raven curls, which fell in gentle waves over his shoulders. The cherry on top (literally) were the black bunny ears. Well, shit.

He was perfect. Like carved out of marble. You blinked, tried desperately to stop yourself from staring, but you just couldn't. Loki - the most handsome man you ever met in a sexy playboy bunny costume was just too much to handle.

Loki knew of course that all eyes were directed on him - what he didn't understand at first, because Stark told him to dress up as bunny, didn't he? Anyways, the God wasn't stupid, so he quickly connected the dots. Wrong costume.

But when he noticed how much his attire affected his fellow teammates - especially the female section, including you, it was more than just a satisfaction for him. To witness you drooling all over him; and see you melt underneath his smouldering, sexy smile was worth everything. Perhaps this ridiculous garden party had its perks after all…

"Laufeyson!" Tony hissed, grabbing the prince's attention. He waved Loki over to him, visibly angry. "For heaven's sake! What are you doing?! That was certainly not what I meant, Reindeer Games! You were supposed to be the Easter bunny and not a wannabe playboy bunny!" Loki just shrugged his shoulders, didn't understand why Tony was making such a fuss. "That may be true, Stark, but you never explicitly told me the exact description of how this costume has to look. And besides..." Loki swiftly looked over his shoulders at you, catching you how you were still staring at him. "The ladies seem to enjoy it." He said, winking at the billionaire, who just rolled his eyes.

Loki had walked over to Tony by now, and was talking to him - giving you even more exposed skin to look at... His muscular back for example. Broad shoulder blades and defined hips, which led to the God's rounded and shaped bottom - perfectly accentuated by the tight leather trunks. That's Asgard's ass, you thought. Blinking and trying again to avoid your eyes, you swallowed hard. Why was it so hot all of a sudden?

"Are you now done staring holes into Laufeyson's body, or...?" Your best friend's amused voice suddenly urged to your ears. "I-I, uh..." Whoops. "I'm not the one to blame that he decided to wear such a revealing 'outfit'!" You desperately tried to defend yourself someway, somehow, but deep down you knew that you had already lost. Nat had a point. She giggled. "And you claim to not be into him. Girl, let me tell you, that is a lie. Our raven-haired Adonis has turned your head. But I can't blame you... He's a snack." The spy said, hopping off the bar stool elegantly, "Go eat him up." and winking at you, before she walked away. Your jaw dropped at Nat's words. Little minx.

The later it got the more alcohol coursed through everybody's system, causing everything to escalate a bit. Actually, you didn't plan to drink as much alcohol as you did, but after Loki literally played the Easter bunny, hid some chocolate eggs and 'hopped around' to guide your search, you were in desperate need of another drink.

Lost in thoughts, you didn't notice how said God sneaked up on you, when you sat alone at the bar, while everybody else was playing 'Truth or Dare' - on the trampoline. He had noticed. Of course, he had. Your eyes and body language told him more than your words probably ever could. He knew exactly what you wanted - and who was he to deny your wishes?

"You'd love to touch, don't you?" He whispered in your ear with his deep voice, causing you to jump. Spinning around on your chair, your eyes met a broad, muscular chest. Loki. You swallowed; eyes travelling upwards to meet his face. Your breath hitched in your throat as you realised how close he was to you. "W-What? What are you t-talking about?" A cheeky, mischievous smile darted over his face, before he wetted his lips. "I felt your eyes on me, darling. I know you want to." Your eyes widened at his words; completely overwhelmed by the situation you suddenly found yourself in. "I-I, n-no, I- Everyone was s-staring!" The God chuckled; making his abs clench deliciously. "That may be true, but... Unlike you, they were able to tear her gazes apart. But you, Y/N..." The way he rolled your name off his tongue sent a shiver down your spine. Like on instinct, you pressed your legs together. "You kept on staring at me; feasting upon my body with your hungry eyes." Heat crawled up into your cheeks, burning them up. "I-I'm sorry, Loki, I-" "No you are not. Don't deny it, darling. I never said that I didn't like your eyes on my body, did I? In fact... I quite enjoyed it." Loki purred, giving you that smouldering look again, which almost caused your legs to give in.

"You want to touch me?" He started, taking your small, delicate hand into his big one, "Then touch me." and pressed your palm against his abs. The moment your hot skin met his pleasantly cool skin, you lost the ability to breathe. Your hand was like frozen in motion as you felt his rippling muscles; gaze glued to your hand. Another chuckle rumbled through Loki's chest. "No, no, don't be shy now, darling." He tutted, engulfing your hand once again and slowly moving it upwards. "Go ahead. Enjoy yourself. I know you want to." Oh how right he was - but... Your eyes wandered over to the others. "W-What about the o-others? W-What if they s-see?" The prince smirked down on you and reached out his hand to gently cup your chin. "Don't worry, darling. They are way too occupied. They won't notice." You swallowed hard, taking a last look at your fellow friends - before you finally gave in. Biting your lip, you started to move your hand, mapping out Loki's godly body. From his abs, to his chest, shoulders and down to his hips again. Loki's skin was so soft and inviting, you just couldn't stop. "Enjoying yourself?" All you could do was nod, unable to form words - causing him to chuckle again. But the God was quite enjoying this as well...

Tracing the hem of his trunks, where his happy trail kissed the fabric, a soft hiss escaped his lips. "You are about to enter a danger zone, darling..." Realising with a shocked expression where your hand was, you quickly wanted to pull it away - but Loki was quicker and caught your wrist. "Dangerous doesn't mean forbidden. Just know that once you enter this zone, it's going to be really hard to leave it again... Your decision." Your decision. The words echoed through your head. Was there even something to decide? You asked yourself, but quickly realised that the answer was no. You wanted this, you started this and you definitely were going to finish this. You were anyways already too far gone to say no. So, you moved your palm again, letting it slowly, teasingly enter the 'danger zone'. "Wise decision," Loki breathed, words fading into a strangled moan.

There was no holding back now. Especially not for him. He angled your head upwards again, before leaning down and crashing his intoxicating lips onto yours; kissing you like nobody else kissed you before. He positively stole your breath, as your lips collided again and again and again. By now, you didn't even care that you were obscenely making out with the younger Asgardian prince, just a few feet away from where the others were completely caught up in playing their silly party games. All you could think of was Loki. All you could feel was Loki. All you could smell was Loki. He was everywhere; had thoroughly invaded you.

His lips left yours with a wet pop, dilated black irises meeting yours. "Want to get out of here, darling?" Loki asked, straightening his black-white bow tie. "With pleasure."

#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki x female reader #loki x you #tom hiddleston x reader #loki x y/n #loki fanfiction #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x female reader #loki x reader smut #loki smut

515 notes · View notes

hartlesshart · 2 months

Text

I have something to say - If you aren’t going to read the whole thing, then skip it. But I really hope you do. My intention is not to cause drama. I just felt this was important to say because I love this community and I want it to be the best it can be.

A few days ago, a very unfortunate thing happened on a certain post about Talanah and Seyka. I called someone out on what was a case of weaponizing a racist incident. Instead of having a meaningful discussion, my comments were deleted and called “inappropriate accusations.”

Long story short - several reblogged and commented on this post about how Talanah was constantly being tagged as Seyka. To be clear, this is not a good thing and I believe every single one of those post to be valid in their frustration. But I have also seen it happen the other way around to my own work (Seyka tagged as Talanah). None of this is okay but while it is exhausting, remember that mistakes do happen.

So I made a comment about my experience and my comment was dismissed because apparently it “hadn’t been seen.” I responded to this with an honest truth of how dismissals of experience affects people like me.

The thing about racism is that it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. You don’t get to pick and choose who it happens to just to fit your narrative. Dismissing it because you didn’t personally see it is harmful, especially to fans from marginalized groups who may not feel comfortable sharing their experiences in the future.

My comment was deleted and later referred to as an “inappropriate accusation” and “harassment.” Was it an accusation? Yes. Was it inappropriate? No. Was it harassment? Absolutely not - I took time to respond so it wouldn’t be seen that way. However, the comments involving Talanah mistags were kept. The comments defending a fictional character. To be clear, I am not saying these comments are not justified. It is incredibly frustrating to work so hard on a piece only for it to be tagged as another character. However, the fact other comments (including my personal experience), that challenged the narrative that these mistaggings were only happening to Talanah, were being deleted is problematic and a form of silencing. Intentional or not - this is a racist microaggression - and yes, I do deal with stuff like this in real life.

It became immediately clear to me that the goal here wasn’t to raise awareness or do anything about the racist misnaming but instead use it to put down a group in this community. And judging a whole group by the actions of a few bad apples is literally where prejudice begins. All of this pettiness stemming from - let’s face it - an unnecessary shipping war in a FICTIONAL STORY. I was incredibly disappointed and saddened because I know we are better than this.

I am not speaking out because I want to cause drama. Undoing systemic racism is something I am deeply passionate about because it affects so many people in my life. If someone calls you out on a problematic take, please take a moment to listen and reflect, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Do not follow the impulse to block or delete. This work is extremely exhausting for everyone, but it is SO important. We all carry prejudices and biases. We are human. But we can also learn because we are all human. I have been called out many times in life by my friends. I have made so many ignorant comments and mistakes. And I will still make them. Hearing I have is not easy at all but it is all part of growing.

Speaking out like this isn’t really my thing but I felt the need to make a comment that can’t be deleted by anyone. I love the Horizon community and I want it to be a safe and inclusive space for everyone no matter where you are from. That is what these games are about. Understanding people from different backgrounds, opinions and traditions in order to work together.

You don’t have to be fans of the same characters. You can love or be disappointed with the canon. You can respectfully give and listen to critiques of these characters. And you can celebrate representation even if it’s not the direction you wanted Horizon to go in.

Whatever these games have given you is yours to keep.

Just don’t be an asshole about it (at least in public, what you do in private is none of anyone’s business so…) -> that goes to all fans in all groups. It is never okay to harass or hurt anyone - and especially over fictional characters.

(Also please respect the devs - we are lucky they are able to pour their hearts into this game for all of us to enjoy and frankly the direction is their creative choice)

This vibrant community is full of so much talent and love for this amazing series. I have made some truly incredible friends, worked on some hilarious and delightful collaborations and have seen wicked talent come together to make something special. Just look on the horizon, and you’ll see a certain 100% fan-made game coming soon, which has a little something for everyone!

Keep creating. Ignore the bad apples. Don’t be an asshole. I’m going back to drawing silly things. - from the hart

#horizon zero dawn #horizon forbidden west #horizon critical #horizon fandom #talanah #seyka #burning shores #fight racism #microaggressions #be antiracist #horizon #hfw

104 notes · View notes

teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

lllicit Affairs | Chapter VI: Death by a Thousand Cuts

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: You and Neteyam both have a dark secret that would change everything between you - and neither of you are willing to share.

Warnings: angst, some fluff, Lo'ak x reader, jealous!Neteyam, both main characters thirsting for each other, mentions of lab work, disease, blood, cursing.

Word Count: 7,2k words

A/N: Chapter 6 is the chapter that sets EVERYTHING in motion for what's to come. There is a LOT to come, a lot of drama and angst, maybe some smut (? 😉) and this chapter is meant as a stepping stone to the beginning of the end. Also, realised I forgot to ever mention, that if the dialogue is ever italicised, that usually means the conversation is in Na'vi, I don't know how I have never made it clearer, but here we are.

Thank you so much for everyone who's been reading and asking to be tagged, I never expected this to gain any traction and I am so grateful for people enjoying it x

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch Gave you too much but it wasn't enough But I'll be all right, it's just a thousand cuts

One second.

“Just one second, Neteyammm!”, you whined, as he was trying to remove the blanket from your currently very comfortable and very warm body.

“It’s late, come on! Early bird catches the worm, isn’t that what you people say?”

“Nobody says that, I don’t know who told you this lie.”

“It was you!!” he says, and he’s laughing at your whinging while trying to remove the blanket. He’s not trying that hard, considering he would make an easy job out of the task if he used a tenth of his actual force, but he couldn’t bear the thought of bringing you any unnecessary distress. You had enough of that in your life, and he wanted to be a source of comfort for you, a shelter in the storm.

You scooted on one side of the bed close to the edge, and left a big gap which you brought to his attention by patting it aggressively.

“Press the button on the audio player and lay with me, please? I don’t feel like going out today.”

He couldn’t say no to you, he realises. He would follow you anywhere in this world, do anything you asked of him, regardless how stupid or reckless or crazy it was. He would always follow you, for the rest of time, and he was happy about it.

A song he liked came on, one that he’s heard you play before and there was no doubt in his mind that he liked it better when you sang it. He circled the bed and lay in it, next to you, in the dark.

“Thank you, light of my life.” You attached yourself to him, arms sprawled across his bare chest and legs carelessly placed on top of abdomen and hips, and sighed contently. He could feel your warm breaths on his neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He turned his head to you and placed a small kiss on top of your head and listened to the soft tune filling up the room.

“Oh, goddamn, my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows and now I'm covered in you”

“You’re annoying.”

“I know I am, but you love me anyway.”

I do, Neteyam thought. I really do…

Things happen in life sometimes, and it makes you lose your ability to react. There was no reaction, definitely no overreaction. You stared at the vial of blood that shattered all across the floor, all across you and your mind was blank. Almost robotically, you made your way to one of the benches and got some paper rolls and the IMS laying next to it. You carefully cleaned all of it, and spit whatever made its way to your mouth to the floor to be removed. When you were sure everything was gone, you went to the sink and removed your goggles and gloves, and scrubbed yourself clean. You felt yourself moving, picking up a bucket of water with some floor cleaner, felt yourself adding disinfectant to it and moping thoroughly, but it was like an out-of-body experience. Like you were merely a puppet executing orders from above. Cleaning everything took about an hour, after which you made your way back to your room slowly, deliberately.

You didn’t sleep. You spent the whole night looking over everything you and the rest of the scientists have ever found out about this virus. You didn’t know its way of transmission. Maybe you had nothing to worry about, maybe it’s not by blood. You knew it’s not by air, you’ve seen plenty of people infected whose family was fine. So even if you do get infected, the people at the lab should be fine. Your friends would be fine. He would be fine.

Next, incubation period. That’s a tough one, in-vitro studies show it takes the virus anywhere from 2 to 12 months to show symptoms. You don’t know how that changes in humans. You don’t know any of this shit for humans. You could be perfectly fine, you could die within the month. The thought made your blood run cold.

You sat in your chair for the remainder of the night. Unmoving, unthinking.

That’s how Norm found you.

“Hey, Ace. What are you doing up?”

You scrambled for a lie.

“Just woke up, actually. Listen, if you are going to check on the boy, can you please bring my supplies to the tent and tell the Sullys I won’t be in today? I was too exhausted to run any experiments yesterday so I will do it today.”

“Oh… is everything alright? You haven’t missed a day in the village since you got your Avatar.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, just worried about the boy and want to get to the bottom of this sooner rather than later, if possible.”

“Alright, I can bring you back some of his blood to run as well?”

“NO!”

Norm’s eyes widened in shock at your response and you knew you fucked up, you knew you slipped up. Calm yourself…

“It’s just not necessary at the moment since I have other blood and I don’t want to overwhelm him, if it’s not imperative. I will retrieve some blood when I check on him tomorrow.”

Norm looked at you with a concerned look, but eventually relented.

“Ok, whatever you think, Ace.”

“Thanks, Norm.”

“Let me know what you find tonight. I’ll tell Jake, but they might not be happy with you.”

“You can explain it’s an emergency, I’m sure they’ll understand.”

You struggled to get up and get your legs to not want to collapse beneath you. Eventually, you made your way to the sink and washed, you scrubbed your face as hard as you could without removing a layer of skin, and your teeth until you felt the familiar taste of metal coat your teeth. You hoped that maybe you tried hard enough, the last 6 hours can just be erased from your life, from world. You hoped it could undo the damage that would plague you for the rest of your most likely very short life.

Luckily, most scientists seemed to be out. Claire was teaching Na’vi kids English at Grace’s old school that Jake deemed fit to be reopened, Max left with Norm to check on the situation of the village, and most of the Avatars would be out on missions or training with Jake. You made your way to the quiet halls to one of the labs, and prepared for your long day ahead. This will be hard to do by yourself, but not impossible.

First step, respiratory fluids. You remove a sterile cotton swab and swab your pharynx as thoroughly as possible and place it in a tube. That’s easy enough. Next comes the blood. Finding a vein has always been hard for people to do on you, and it’s not gotten any easier in time, so after poking yourself a few times in the wrong place, you manage to get enough blood to run experiments on.

Hours of sample preparation, incubation, pipetting and running went by at an excruciatingly slow pace, like the universe was revelling in making every second of torture last forever. You thanked your lucky stars of the progress made in lab equipment and that you didn’t have to spent days on one PCR, like your mum was saying it had to be done back on Earth about a century ago. Regardless, it took most of the day for you to do everything you needed, check for all the proteins and markers you knew were deregulated with this virus, and by the early hours of night, you were done.

Aș people were starting to return to the hub as another day was nearing its end, you retreated back to your bedroom to work on the data analysis. You did not want to see anyone, did not want to speak to anyone until you knew at least some things. The less you talked, the less lies that had to come out of your mouth, and that seemed ideal to you.

Inputting the data and having to wait on some software to give you your literal death sentence felt so tragic is was almost comical, and you had to stop and ask yourself if you were some serial killer in a past life to warrant all the pain and misery life seemed adamant to throw at you. For the first time in so long you couldn’t even remember, things were going… well. You were strong, and doing well, and lived outside of the walls of this lab. You had a chance at something more, you had a chance at maybe one day healing and working through your issues and maybe even coming out the other side a better, healthier version of yourself. You had a chance at love.

And there it was… positive. One second.

THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE I: DENIAL

Your blood became poison in the span of half a day, but at least you now knew it wasn’t transmitted through air. That means no one else would have to suffer because of you. The thought made you weirdly calm, and you realised you didn’t care about your own health all along. No, you weren’t sad anymore, just relieved. A wide smile appeared on your face at the results, and you jumped out of the chair with enthusiasm at the great news. Everybody would be ok. Norm, Max, they would all be ok. You will handle all the virus experiments and blood samples from now on. They wouldn’t have reason to doubt you or question you, not when it made most sense anyway, since you were always in the village and knew the protocols and techniques the best, anyway. You would go on the same way as you had, and no one had to know or suffer because of your mistakes.

With those thoughts still floating in your mind and a Xanax on your tongue, you made your way to the comfortable bed and crashed without a dream in sight.

You were up before dawn again, and ready to get started on your day at the village. You were looking forward to gun training with Jake, and finally putting those years of practice to good use. You found Norm deep in thought in the link room, and he didn’t register you walking in until you patted his shoulder and he jumped out of his skin.

“Jesus, Ace. You scared the shit out of me.”

“I noticed. Why so jumpy, Norm?”

He gave you the quickest look known to man then quickly busied himself with literally anything else. “No reason, just focused on the task at hand.”

“…turning on the linkpod?”

“No one likes a smartass, you know?”

“So how was the village yesterday? How is the boy?”

“He’s alright, still not great, but his vitals are stable for now.” You noticed he did not answer your question about the village, and found slight panic rising in your chest.

“Is everything okay? Did something happen in the village?”

“No, Ace, everything’s fine. You don’t have to worry about everything, you know. How did the experiments go yesterday?”

“The virus is not airborne, it seems to be transmitted by blood, so we need to be very careful handling samples.”

“We always are. But good work, good to have some concrete evidence finally. I’ll look over your analysis soon.”

“You know, I’m not quite done with it, so maybe wait and we can look over it together?”

“Sure, that makes sense.”

You didn’t buy Norm’s pathetic attempts at deflecting the subject of the village, but you did not want to fight him so early in the day, so you guess you had to find out what happened for yourself. You woke up in your Avatar body soon enough, and could already tell the village was already awake and buzzing with the perspective of a new day. The guitar sitting on the ground next to your sleeping mat caught your eye, and you smiled softly at the memory which now seems a life away. Your fingers lingered on the chords and you strummed it gently a few times, enjoying the sounds that seemed to settle in your heart. Adjusting your braids in the small mirror you brought with you a few weeks ago, you made your way out of your tent and straight into Neteyam’s chest with a loud thud.

“What the fuck?” You say, indignantly and then look up to find Neteyam watching you with an unreadable expression adorning his beautiful face.

“Hi.” He says, and tries to muster a small smile.

“Hi…? Is there any particular reason you have decided to attack me first thing in the morning?”

“I was just coming to get you, I heard the guitar playing. I didn’t think you would be running straight into me. Are you ready? We can spend the morning tracking a herd of Talioang that the hunter party spotted a few clicks south of the village. It will be good practice for you.”

“…alright? Can I get some food first? I’m famished.”

Neteyam shifted uncomfortably in front of you and looked… nervous, you realised. What the hell was going on with everyone?

“I have food that Ma packed for us, we can eat in the forest? I’d really rather get a move on as soon as possible, this will most likely take most of today, anyway.”

“Is there a particular reason you seem so eager for me to leave? You and Norm have both been acting weird today, and you are both terrible liars.”

Neteyam gave you a hard look. “Let’s go, Y/N. Unlike what you like to think, you don’t need to know everything, and not everything concerns you. Let’s go, now.” Nothing’s changed, you realised bitterly. Last night was just a fluke and you hated yourself in that moment for letting your guard down.

“You can be a real dick sometimes, Neteyam.” You said and took off without looking at him.

You ran for about 5 clicks without checking behind you, knowing full well he was following you, your hearing being one of the many senses that heightened in this body. You stopped suddenly at the sight of a huge footprint, one you could identify as the Sturmbeest, or a Talioang, like it was known to the Na’vi. Soon enough, you saw the ground littered with them, and began carefully tracking the beasts.

“Alright. How far would you say they are and which direction?” Neteyam asked, approaching you slowly. He was back to teaching mode, and you tried your best to learn, instead of recoiling and telling him to go to hell, which is what you really wanted to do.

You touched the ground and felt it with your fingers, trying to assess the moisture level and deepness of the mark. You thought about for a while.

“I’d say they’re quite fresh. Maybe this morning? Taloioang move slowly, about 1 click every hour or two, so I’d say we’ll find them about 2 clicks east?”

He didn’t even have to touch the ground to be able to assess it. He was impressive.

“Good. Let’s go. We shouldn’t run, they have good hearing and the wind is blowing east, which means they’ll be able to smell us if we’re not careful. We will take a roundabout way and approach them from the south.”

You both made your way through the forest and it was your turn to follow him, although you stayed close behind and tried to look around you and pick up on clues, tiny sounds and movements, trying to learn, trying to see. “Eyes on the tracks, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes, but did as you were told. Eventually, Neteyam let you deem the appropriate time to stray from the tracks and move south to avoid being spotted. Soon enough, you saw the herd of prodigious beings, bathing in a shallow lake. You made your way slowly, sneaking on the ground, with Neteyam close to you, and you felt his arms grazing your sides every inch of the way.

The herd was protecting the calves, 5 in total, playing and splashing in the clear water. You watched in amazement, just enjoying the view of these seemingly ferocious beasts that in the moment, felt more like a family watching their children play at the local pool. You couldn’t believe the beauty and mild predisposition, the complex nature of these animals whose equivalents were long gone on Earth, long decimated by humans and their needless desire for wealth and acquisition, for mindless cruelty. You felt your stomach drop at the realisation that soon, this could be Pandora, if you didn’t fight will all your being in the upcoming war.

You felt a sudden gentle pressure on your lower back, a pressure you quickly identified as Neteyam’s hand and you shuddered at the touch. He neared his mouth to your ears, and you felt his warm breath tickling your neck, a sudden warmth pooling in your lower abdomen.

“You’re not allowed to kill anything yet, but I want you to show me how you would go about it. Show me your bow work, how would you aim from this position.”

You slowly removed your bow from from your person and sat up, in a now crouched stance, and loaded the arrow, doing your best to accommodate for the uncomfortable position you were in and the tight space you were sharing with another person. You held your breath, engaged your core, and aimed as if you were going to release your arrow on the target about 300m away. Neteyam’s large hand touched your upper thigh, by your left hip and squeezed gently. Your arm dropped suddenly and snapped your head in his direction. He didn’t react to your sudden snap, instead talking lowly, so as to not give your location away. “Your leg is not in a position by which you can maximise release. You will have more power in the shot if you place this knee on the ground and lean into it.”

You wanted to take that hand and either break it or redirect it on other parts of your body that felt like they would explode if they didn’t feel him, have his touch provide the relief that was desperately yearned for, needed. You wanted to scream at him or make him coax the screams out of you like a war-cry, wild and desperate. You wanted to kill him, you wanted him to kill you, slowly and painfully, taking his time on your body until you were falling apart at the seams around him. You hated him, you loved him. You hated him.

You gave him a hard look, an angry look directed at your thigh, and he removed his hand from you. You wondered if he knew, knew what he was doing, wondered if he felt the same way, if he too was struggling to catch his breath at the torture of knowing he can’t have you, claim you, right now, right in this second, right here. You hoped he did, hope it ate him alive, the yearning and the desire. Because that’s what it was doing to you, what he was doing to you. You turned your attention back to the herd and adjusted your position based on his advice. He was right, you could tell right away, as you felt a lot more power when aiming the arrow this time.

“Much better. We can go now, we will give the location to the hunting party and the will be able to secure us dinner for a couple of weeks from the back of a couple of Ikrans.”

You made your way out of their surroundings, and slowly started walking back to the village. After about half an hour, he stopped on a rock and removed the food he was carrying in a pouch. You didn’t join him, preferring to keep your distance and thus a clear mind, not being able to afford being weak around him anymore.

“I thought you were famished.” He says, with a slight smile. You shook your head and turned around, taking in the views of the forest, distracting yourself with the flowers reaching out their neon green tendrils towards you. You kneeled next to one, and touched them gently, enjoying the way they cupped around your hand and tugged, like they were urging you to come closer so they can spill their long-forgotten dreams to you. You heard him sigh loudly.

“Sorry for being a dick. Just had a fight with mum and dad, and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have, and I am sorry. Come eat, please? I don’t want you passing out on me, you’re not as easy to carry as you used to be when you were human.”

You remained on your knees still, focused on only the plants and your gentle tug-of-war. You knew how much pressure Neteyam was under, has been for pretty much his entire life. A prodigy created… or made, no one could really know for sure, he began training when most babies learn to walk, and speak, and play. He has never had a childhood the way Lo’ak, or Kiri, or Tuk, or pretty much any other Na’vi children did, mostly fleeting moments of bliss in between a lot more moments of stress and struggle. He never complained, though. Not out loud, not to anyone else but you, once he realised you were a safe haven from the storm. You didn’t pass judgement, or make him feel bad for sharing his feelings, and he felt like he could tell you all the hardest truths his heart has always craved to speak out loud. You have always wanted to protect him from the world, a world that demanded so much of him, that asked for a sacrifice of which it was undeserving. Being Olo’yektan, leading the people, being the one person everyone relied on was a great honour, a great achievement - one you didn’t think he wanted, but was never given the chance to decline.

“What happened?”

You walked slowly towards the rock he was laying on, and sat at its foot, crossing your legs on the slightly damp grass. You grabbed a piece of jerky from the pile of food and slowly chewed through it, humming in appreciation at the smoky taste and rich flavour of the meat.

Neteyam grimaced and didn’t look at you, choosing to focus instead of his arm guards, picking at something that was clearly not there. “More sacrifices I need to make in the name of the future, of the people.”

“I see you still haven’t learnt to say no, even after all this time apart.”

Neteyam’s hand froze in midair, his eyes widening slightly - it was the first time you brought up the year apart. He braced himself for what he thought was the beginning of the end, of you finally demanding answers he didn’t think would ever satisfy you, but no other words left your lips.

“I can’t say no. I owe my parents everything I have, everything I am. This village, this life, is all I know. My dad gave up on everything he knew to stand up for our people, to make sure we’d get a future worth living, a family worth saving, a world still worth fighting for. He became Olo’yektan despite all that stood against him because he loved my mum, loved us, even then, even before we were born. My grandpa died defending this village, watching home tree get decimated in front of his eyes, with only the people’s safety on his mind and tongue. I see that bow that my mum cherishes like a gift from Eywa herself and I want to be worthy of it, someday. And if it means giving up some things, maybe that’s just how it’s meant to be.”

“Maybe whatever you’re giving up is making room for something ever better, Neteyam. Sometimes we want something so bad, we can’t see the forest for the trees.”

He looks at you confused for a second.

“That’s a saying. What I’m trying to say is maybe you are over focused on something you want right now, that you think is the best thing for you, but maybe you just are not focusing on the bigger picture. Maybe in the future, whatever you’re giving up now will make room for something that was much better for you all along.”

Disappointment filled his chest at your words. Neteyam looked at you with deep sadness marking his features, and he could see you were trying to think of things to say that could make him feel better. In all honesty, he wanted - needed - you to tell him to be selfish, and trust his gut, and follow what he knew was right in his heart, but he also knew that being selfish is not a trait that came naturally to you. You have always respected the deep bond Neteyam had to his family and his people and you always used to tell him how proud of him you were for how strong he was, for the lengths he was willing to go to to protect and nurture those bonds.

You felt an overwhelming sense of grief at the realisation that you will never get to see him become Olo’yektan, see him become the man everybody knew he was. He would never be yours, and although that painful conclusion had settled in your soul and had time to scar in all the time you knew him, a new wound, deeper, bloodier, deadlier, tore your heart apart at the thought you would not even be able to watch from afar. You would have been satisfied with scraps, just watching him rule, and be, and love someone else and imagining it was you. You never thought you’d get more than that anyway, never had any delusions for more. The scraps would have been enough, and now even those were brutally taken from you, like everything else in this life.

You needed to leave, now.

“Should we head back? It’s getting late.”

You walked back in deep, uncomfortable silence. Eclipse made the nature shine and glimmer with colours your sadness dulled to muted tones. There was light coming from the village and you realise how badly you wanted to be alone, in your tent and read, or watch a movie or a show, and ignore this world for a little while while you licked your newly-opened wounds. Tonight was a communal dinner around the big bonfire in the centre of the village, and you felt grateful your presence would not be missed in such a crowd. You’ve come to love these dinners, another one of the many ways the tribe connected to the village and to each other, but tonight you couldn’t entertain even the thought long enough to count.

“Can you please tell your family I am sorry, but I will probably head to bed early. I’ll be early for breakfast tomorrow, I promise.”

“I can do that. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You nodded absentmindedly and closed the flap of the tent shut.

Neteyam watched as you left him, still reeling from your conversation. Much like you, he just wished to hide in his family’s tent and pretend for a night things are different, that they are better. Actually, if we are talking about wishes, he wishes he could be in your tent. In all honestly, dealing with you on a day to day basis, seeing you, your body, touching it more and longer than he knew he reasonably had to, was making him think thoughts he knew he had no business thinking. In his wildest dreams, he’d be in your tent and making your eyes roll back in the way that drove him crazy. In his wildest dreams, he’d be coaxing sounds out of you that only he would ever hear. In his wildest dreams, your hands all over him would heal him and break him at the same time. He was desperately in need of some relief, and he loathed all decisions in his life that lead to you not being able to be the one to provide it for him.

He made his way to the bonfire, and greeted all of the Na’vi that respectfully bowed their heads at his arrival. He saw his family at the centre of the crowd, where they normally sat, and joined them silently. They all gave him uneasy looks - all but one. Lo’ak was blatantly glaring at the older Sully, a look of disappointment and disgust marring his normally kind face that reminded Neteyam so much of their dad.

“Did you tell her?”

Kiri elbowed Lo’ak in the abdomen, but he didn’t flinch. He did not even bother to acknowledge Kiri, or the low hiss escaping their mum’s lips - his eyes were still boring into Neteyam, unwavering.

“No.” Neteyam’s expression darkened and in a split second, he became the warrior his dad moulded him into. “And you will not, either, Lo’ak. Do you understand me?” Lo’ak had to look up to look at his brother who was now dangerously towering over him.

“Oh, the mighty warrior giving out orders, what else is new?”

“Lo’ak, that’s enough.” Neteyam heard Jake intervene, and he eventually had to physically put his body in between his two sons, who still refused to look away from each other.

“Fnawe’tu (coward).”

Neteyam watched his brother turn his back on his family and walk away from the feast, and although he wouldn’t admit it to himself, he knew deep down that Lo’ak was right.

You were almost robotically flipping through the directory of movies and tv shows on the laptop that you had with you in the village, not quite ready to go back to the lab and have to deal with the consequences of your newly acquired “condition”. You had all night to do experiments, and lie to yourself that you were fine until you eventually succumbed to a Xanax-induced blackout. You wanted to be in this body just a little while longer, because, in this body, it was easy to forget the realities of your actual life.

You saw a five-fingered hand emerge from the entrance to your tent, and you laughed incredulously at the clown you loved, who seemed to have a knack for improving your dour mood.

“I am here to bother you.” You got up and started making your way towards the entrance of your tent.

“Shouldn’t you be at dinner?” You say, laughing and pulling Lo’ak by the hand, so he stumbles unattractively into you.

You wrap your arms around him and hug him gently. “Skxawng.”

“I should, but I am here instead. We haven’t had movie night in so long.” He lay on your sleep mat and you hissed for him to move over. “You’re getting way too comfortable hissing at people.”

“Not people, Lo’ak, you!” You smiled saying that, knowing you were quoting Kiri, and he groaned exasperatedly.

A few more weeks passed, and you felt the discrepancy between your bodies become more pronounced than it had ever been. It turns out, the incubation period of a Na’vi virus in a human is not long at all, and roughly around last week, you began displaying symptoms. You were taking every drug under the sun to try to soften them, but you had seen one too many good Na’vi people die due to this to know what was lurking underneath the comfortable cushion of drug-induced health. Despite all that, you felt on top of the world in your avatar. You were continuously improving, and, with a little bit of luck, will be completing your first kill soon - the first stepping stone to becoming Taronyu, hunter. If you do that successfully, you will be taking your Iknimaya with other Na’vi apprentices, and finally get your own Ikran. You were buzzing at the thought, and the image of you flying in the sky was enough to push any other worries out of your mind.

After that weird day that ended with Lo’ak in your tent watching Friends together and teaching him the chords to a song you both loved, things went back to normal, sort of. You couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that the Sullys were hiding something from you. They exchanged looks, and avoided certain subjects, and you were starting to be worried they guessed you were ill, and were tiptoeing around the subject so as to not upset you. That was a good theory, although it could not explain the heavy tension between Neteyam and Lo’ak that also started that night.

You saw them bicker and fight your whole life: two opposing personalities, both of whom had misunderstandings about the other. Neteyam could never understand Lo’ak, understand that, despite being the chieftain’s son and the grandson of the Tsahik and former Olo’yektan, people still looked at him like he was not quite full Na’vi. His eyebrows and five fingers made his appearance uncanny enough to always attract whispers and looks, and despite Lo’ak’s apparent devil-may-care attitude, he cared. Neteyam could also not understand anyone who wished to live freely and discover themselves, make decisions and choices that would lead to a happy, fulfilled life, rather than a proud and accomplished one. Finally, Neteyam did not understand that skill and tenacity doesn’t come easy to everybody, and the weight of living in his shadow was bearing heavily on his baby brother’s back.

On the other hand, Lo’ak never tried to understand the burden Neteyam had to carry, because, in his desire to not appear weak, he took it in strides and never complained. Lo’ak never fully understood the downfalls of what being “the perfect son” brings: no freedom, no childhood, no time, no fun, no choice. He only ever focused on the positives: praise from his family and clan, skill and composure, the title of future Leader of the Omatikaya. He will also never be able to understand the depths of Neteyam’s love for him, who, despite all their differences, would be willing to sacrifice everything, even his own life, to make sure his baby brother would never having to experience these burdens.

This tension felt like more. More than you’ve ever seen, not mended in time, they were always glowering at each other and only speaking to each other if prompted or forced by their increasingly frustrated family. You tried to talk to both of them individually and ask, but you were promptly sent on your way each time. You could tell Lo’ak was itching to spit it out, but every time he got close, he flashed you a look of hurt and fear, and moved on.

Eventually, you stopped worrying about it. It will come out in time, and you had better things to worry about. Your training became brutal after that day tracking Sturmbeests. Neteyam would come to your tent before dawn, sometimes having to wait for you while you woke up in your Avatar body, and you were always gone past eclipse. You were tracking, joining hunting parties to learn, working on shooting arrows while on Pa’li or in nearly impossible positions (he made you shoot targets hanging upside down from the branches of trees, seriously) and working on guns and practicing with Jake and his soldiers. Jake made you his second-in-command during these sessions, and you enjoyed having the roles reversed and having to watch Neteyam squirm every time you touched his arm, or waist, or thighs, in order to adjust his shooting form. You also taught Lo’ak, sometimes late in the nights, where he would sneak into your tent and ask you questions about guns that he hoped would bring him in his father’s good graces for once in his life. You loved teaching them, and you felt powerful with all the eyes on you, trying to absorb every piece of information coming out of your mouth.

“In your hands, you are holding a sub machine-gun.” You said and you made your way through the 10 soldiers in your midst. “It can fire up 600 rounds per minute. You have a button on the side of the weapon, as you can see right there”, you stopped and show everyone on your own weapon, “that allows you to choose between semi automatic and fully automatic. What’s the difference, Lo’ak?”

“A semi-automatic guns fires one shot when you pull the trigger, a fully automatic gun fires continuously until you release the trigger.”

“Tsantu (good guy)!” you said with an intimate smile. Lo’ak was making amazing progress, and you were proud to be even a small reason why.

Neteyam gave Lo’ak a hard look as he answered your question. He was angry with his brother because of his recent attitude, he thought. That’s the reason. Not at all because you were smiling at him with that dazzling smile that used to be reserved for him years ago, definitely not because he knew Lo’ak was sneaking in your tent at night and doing Eywa-knows-what, a fact which kept Neteyam up nights with images he would do everything in his power to be able to erase from his brain. Neteyam was exhausted. He hasn’t slept since this thing started, not until Lo’ak returned to his tent after his meetings with you, and he was able to look at him in the dim light of the night and gauge for himself if his brother was flushed, or panting, or extra happy for one reason or another. Despite never seeing anything that he could deem suspicious, the images of his baby brother taking for himself what was his, what should be his, haunted him and made him sick to his stomach.

Coward. Lo’ak words rang in his ears incessantly throughout each day, never being able to fully block them out.

Neteyam saw you move from Lo’ak and towards him, and tried to remember what they were talking about. Sub-machine guns, right.

“Now, SMGs are best used in tighter quarters or close to mid-range. The spread will make it inefficient for long-range. If you find yourself on the back of your Ikran shooting at a plane or Valkyrie, make sure you close the gap between you or use your bow, instead.”

“An SMG will have a lot of recoil, making it harder to shoot accurately, but there are a few tips you can use to make to improve your aim and accuracy.”

“First. Always fire in short bursts, if you are firing on automatic mode. A few shots at a time will make sure the kick is not unmanageable. Two, account for the kick and adjust your aim to compensate. Think of shooting an arrow and how you always take the wind, its direction, speed and power in consideration before you actually release. It’s a similar principle. The recoil will make the gun kick upwards, so always aim slightly lower than what you want to hit. Three, don’t aim for the head. Leave that for a bow or an assault/sniper rifle with a scope. Aim for the abdomen and chest, since that is a wider target and more likely to hit. Everyone on the same page?”

Neteyam was forever in awe of you, but it was particularly impressive watching you now. You were confident and powerful and knowledgeable. Neteyam felt bad admitting it, but you were a much better teacher than their dad ever was. Toruk Makto had many incredible qualities, but his patience was definitely not amongst them, and his lessons tend to get a bit derailed by his inability to understand that Na’vi are not predisposed to guns or understanding Sky People technology. You were calm, and kind, and funny, and you made it easy for everyone to follow your instructions. In the span on a few weeks, all of the Na’vi and Avatar soldiers training for the upcoming war became better at pretty much every aspect that they were training in, and I think everyone felt just a bit more comfortable about the conflict that was soon to befall them, with you by their side.

After the lesson was complete, you left alongside Lo’ak, sparing one last look in Neteyam’s direction. He was already watching you, and you saw a fleeting angry look that was quickly replaced with an expressionless mask. He was getting good at that, you thought.

“Do you want to do anything? If I have to listen to Kiri talk about all the new types of flowers and plants and shit she keeps finding in the woods, I will lose my mind.”

“Be nice.”

Kiri has been particularly hyperfixated on her newfound discoveries recently, and you tried your best to pay attention to every time she was describing them, in detail, but in reality you were always so exhausted by the time dinner came around that you were only assimilating about a tenth of all the words coming out of her mouth. You felt bad, and made a mental note to dedicate a couple of days to your friend that you saw less and less each week.

“Your Iknimaya is getting closer and closer each day, how do you feel?”

“Honestly I haven’t thought about it that much, just taking it one day at a time.”

“I think you should start thinking about it, cause it’s going to happen. You’ve managed to blow everyone’s expectations out of the water. It barely been two months since you got your avatar body, not even my dad did this so fast. You were made for this, Angel.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. You were grateful for Lo’ak’s faith in you, but with everything happening in your human body, it felt pointless looking towards the future.

“You will be one of us, soon. I’ve had dreams about this my whole life, you know? It’s like I manifested your Avatar, Norm should be thanking me.”

“Lo’ak…”

You didn’t like the turn this conversation took, and felt an uncomfortable twinge settle in your chest at his words.

“There are perks that come with being an Omatikaya, you know? You can make your bow out of the wood of the Home Tree… and you can choose a mate.”

Fuck.

Neteyam was making his way back to the village with the rest of the soldiers, casually chatting to one of the Avatars returning with them. He wasn’t paying attention to the way until his body knocked into one of the Na’vi walking in front of him. Utsou was staring intently at a scene unfolding in front of him, a scene that turned Neteyam’s blood to shards of glass, leaving cuts and bruises along his entire body. It was you, smiling, running your hand up and down Lo’ak’s arm whilst his hand was cupping your face and caressing your cheek. It was such an intimate interaction, it felt wrong to everyone there to even be able to witness it, and Neteyam felt himself becoming nauseous. With the image now seared into his memory and rage turning his breaths to pants, he turned around and left everything - everyone - behind.

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @hayhay9091

#neteyam #neteyam x human!reader #neteyam x reader #neteyam fanfic #neteyam reader #neteyam sully #avatar #avatar twow #avatar fanfic #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam sully fanfiction #neteyam angst #awow #awow neteyam #loak reader #avatar loak

480 notes · View notes

pathfinderyderss · 1 year

Note

Heads up! The user barbex is a proshipper (supports romanticizing abuse in fiction).

Hi! So, I apologize for my delay in responding to your message - I have had a lot of thoughts and wanted to make sure l was expressing them in the best way possible.

I want to be honest, when I first read your message, I didn’t know what pro-shipping was, but I do know @barbex --I've been following her for the better part of a decade and she is an excellent author and l enjoy her views on the Dragon Age lore (and her views on Anders). I've also done more than a few of the prompt months that she's put together.

With all of that said, I wanted to better understand your viewpoint and see what it is that is defined as part of your block list. So, I hopped on your blog! I found your blocklist and the items you've listed as egregious enough to report users and as a former Literature Major, it saddened me to see such Puritanical and Orwellian views being broadcast with such vitriol.

The first thing I want to address is that in my fifteen plus years in fandom I have always subscribed to the “Don’t Like, Don’t Read" mentality. I am unafraid to block people on this website for a single take I don't agree with, and with that I am a FIRM supporter of accurate community labels as there are many things that I myself do not enjoy or want to read - so my blocked tags are plentiful and the blogs I block are many and that curated experience is why I do not get involved in any sort of fandom drama.

I implore you to do the same. Fandom can be such a wonderful, constructive experience when you surround yourself with like-minded individuals. A dear friend of mine reminded me of the phrase, ”No Good Fandom, Only Good Friends” and nothing could be more accurate. Your tiny corner of the Fandom is an amazing way to flourish socially and mentally; however when your energy instead is spent on searching for others with ideological differences the experience instead becomes a witch hunt full of dog piling and negativity.

Now, on your blog, I noticed that you bemoan that you are unable to have a conversation about Fandom/Purity Culture/Fanfiction and I feel like this is an important topic to discuss so l am going to indulge in this against my better judgement, and at the end if you don't like what I've said, l implore you to block me as well.

My primary issue with your block list is that it derives from anti-intellectualism and a puritanical view of fandom. Which, if that is how you want to experience fandom, that's fine, but publicizing it is beyond ridiculous and leads back to my earlier point about witch hunts and dog piling.

Based on your list, your primary concerns in your block list stem from the following topics: rape, incest, pedophilia- including predatory age gaps and abuse. And I wonder; do you devalue fiction in the same way?

The first thing on your list that caught my attention was your adamant disapproval of the Thanatos/Zagreus ship in Hades. Is this just a general distaste for all Greek/Roman mythology as all of it could meet your block list above? Does Disney's Hercules get a pass due to the inaccuracies in the retelling — does the Hera/Zeus relationship get a pass because it isn't explicitly mentioned? And does it matter that it is a more inaccurate retelling of the myth?

In that same vein; are stories like Jane Eyre (which contains both a predatory age gap and a horrific example of a mentally ill character) or Wuthering Heights (which contains incest and abuse) not worth telling to a modern audience because they show these things? Are we forgoing media literacy and critical thinking now because these things glorify the worst parts of humanity?

And regardless of if it is a piece of classic literature or a piece of modern fanfiction making the decision for others that they cannot read these things due to them being "bad” or "wrong" or "shameful" is no different than banning books. And you devalue the readership of these pieces of literature by saying that they are unable to critically think for themselves and find the value of an individual piece of fiction.

I emphasize again, YOU as an individual do not have to view or interact with this material if it makes you uncomfortable, but I beg you not to police others in an Orwellian fashion over the media they choose to produce or view. Use the block button and blacklist tags you don't like or make you uncomfortable - that is what they are there for. Instead, talk to people who share your views but do not turn this into a witch hunt or an NC-17 purge that we've seen so damaging to our communities in the past.

All of this is to say; find joy Fandom — whatever that may mean for you and let others do the same.

I hope this was informative.

- Ryder

#chats with ryder #long post #fandom culture

273 notes · View notes

queers-gambit · 2 years

Text

requesting rules and masterlist 🍒

🍒 welcome requests are CLOSED

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS:

🍒 queers-gambit is generally NSFW, an 18+ blog, and requests minors DO NOT interact

🍒 queers-gambit DOES NOT give permission for any original content to be posted, copied, printed, translated, or uploaded to any other platform

🍒 queers-gambit has DISCONTINUED all taglists and begs you not to ask to be tagged in anything

❗️ please review all rules before submitting requests ❗️ currently not accepting sequel requests

• your requests are all welcomed and encouraged!

• please be aware i reserve the right to reject / refuse certain requests if it contains potentially triggering content, or if i very simply feel as if i cannot write your request.

i am not perfect and while i do try to take pride in my writing abilities, there might come a request i cannot connect to - and therefore, cannot do the writing justice. in laymen's terms: i will sit on your request until i can make up my mind on whether i CAN or CANNOT write it.

• do not send your requests more than once! it's a surefire way to get me to reject the idea!

• AGAIN - please DO NOT ask to be tagged in anything!

🍒 i reserve the right to add to this list at any time 🍒 please take note of the following, as they will NOT be considered upon ANY circumstance -

• writing for real people - characters only!

• writing smut / abuse / explicit injury / s*xual assault for any character under the age of 18.

• writing r*pe / dubcon / s*xual assault / any relating content.

• never thought i'd have to put this - incest! INCLUDES step-family dynamics ❗️ this does, however, exclude Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon characters - within reason. i am still not a big fan of writing incest - to any degree.

NO - i will not be listing which fandoms i write for. you're better off making a request and allowing me to reject the idea for simply not "being in" the fandom.

🦋🤍🧸 emoji anon list — active & open

important note: cisgender female [both biological and identifying female] for all "female!reader" or "wife!reader" writings.

Stranger Things masterlist

featuring: Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley, Billy Hargrove, Max Mayfield, + more.

watch on Netflix

read here

Peaky Blinders masterlist

featuring: Tommy Shelby

watch on BBC or Netflix

read here

Harry Potter masterlist

featuring: Draco Malfoy

watch on your own DVD's, or stream occasionally on HBO and / or Peacock

read here

House of the Dragon masterlist

featuring: Princes Daemon and Aemond Targaryen

watch on HBO

read here

HBO's The Last of Us masterlist

featuring: Joel Miller

watch on HBO

read here

FX's The Bear masterlist

featuring: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto

watch on FX and / or Hulu

read here

The Marvel Cinematic Universe [ MCU ] masterlist

featuring: James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes

watch on Disney+

read here

Bullet Train masterlist

featuring: Tangerine

watch on Netflix

read here

Saltburn masterlist

featuring: Felix Catton

watch on Amazon Prime / Prime Video

read here

The Last Kingdom - no masterlist

Now and at the Hour of His Death

any who say, "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all," were never loved by him.

pairing: Osferth x female!pregnant!wife!reader

word count: 6.1k+

🍒 author's favorite 💔 A N G S T 🥺 hurt 🚫 NO comfort 🎭 drama 🥰 romance 🤰 pregnant reader 👰‍♀️ wife reader 💍 established relationship ✝️ Lord's name in vain ⚠️ spoilers 🐝 stand-alone / oneshot 🙊 general language and content warning ☠️ character DEATH - tread carefully 🥊 depiction of physical violence and / or aggression 🩸 depiction of injury and blood 💛 requires maturity and caution

read here

collections: a set of fics exploring varying plots of similar tropes using different muses. they are NOT related to one another.

Clingy Baby collection - in progress

fics regarding Reader being labeled clingy in various ways.

featuring so far: Carmy Berzatto, Bucky Barnes, Princes Aemond and Daemon Targaryen, Joel Miller

browse masterlist here

The Truth Will Out collection - being drafted / not promised / not published

fics regarding...

featuring so far:

To Be Announced

Nights Like This collection - being drafted / not promised / not published

fics regarding...

featuring so far:

To Be Announced

Designated Destination collection - being drafted / not promised / not published

fics regarding...

featuring so far:

this collection uses ONE muse in varying destination wedding events

To Be Announced

2K notes · View notes

midnightfire830 · 6 months

Text

Blog Boundaries

So. It’s come to my attention that I need to set down some ground rules and boundaries. I’ve noticed some, uh, behavior for lack of a better term that just doesn’t sit right with me. So I’m going to lay out my boundaries for my blog and as an artists. I’ll put what I’m ok with and what I’m not ok with so this can kinda be a reference guide for my blog.

This may be a bit harsh and I’m sorry. Those who have gone across those boundaries BEFORE I made this post are ok as long as you start to follow the ground rules from here on.

I am ok with:

- People drawing my AUs and characters as long as you either @ me or mention that it belongs to me. (Hell, I’ll even reblog and help support ur drawings)

- Asks about my AUs and characters in general are ok. From questions about how an AU works/aspects, questions directed to my characters, or even if you wanna give something to the characters (I’ve seen that done in some blogs and as of now I don’t mind that, just pls don’t go overboard, thanks)

- I don’t think I mind inputting your OCs if your doing drawings of my AUs or characters. Just don’t expect me to make it canon or draw it into canon. (This one is iffy I might take this off if it goes overboard)

- Clarification in the comments section. If there was an ask that didn’t fully explain something or you wanted to clear something up then by all means go to the comments I don’t mind. Or put in another ask. That’s another way to do it.

- I also don’t think I mind people putting in requested ideas in asks for now. Tho there’s a chance I won’t do it if I’m not too motivated by the request. (Again this rule may change depending on how it goes from here on)

Things I am NOT ok with:

- Asking me or pressuring me to draw your AUs, characters, or OCs. This has come up a few times but I want to officially put it on record that if you ask me to, I will say no. Even for asks. Any kinds of other OCs or AUs I draw would only be for my close friends.

- Spamming me with the same asks. If you sent in an ask and I didn’t response don’t send in the same ask again. (That includes reiterating the same ask) I can see all interactions with my blog and posts. I see your asks, replies, comments, reblogs, and likes. If I do not respond to your ask it is for a good reason. Sometimes I’m trying to answer other asks, I’m drawing up a response (that takes time), I’m holding on to it for a later date, I’m lacking motivation on answering or I just don’t want to. Pressuring me to answer your ask Doesn’t. Help. Just because you put in an ask doesn’t always mean you’rs entitled to an answer.

- Being aggressive or pushy with asks. I’m ok with playful aggression targeted towards characters (say for example someone expressing they hate Dice from Royalty) that’s ok. But there’s a line. And some have started to toe that line. Please tone it down a bit.

- Please don’t include me in any kinds of drama. Both internet and off. This includes political topics, wars, events, gossip, etc. I seriously don’t want anything to do with it. The purpose of this blog is to share my AUs and ideas and support other artists. Not for internet drama. If you’re gonna tag me it should be about art, AUs, and fandom related. I’m not gonna waste my energy, time, or stress on other stuff like that.

- And ig in terms of topics I want to avoid things like: NSFW, incest, p*dophilia, r*pe, permanent disfiguration (like chopping off limbs stuff outside of I guess whatever I have built into the lore of my AUs), outright physical torture or major character death. (The usual things)

Warning: if you cross one of these boundaries I will give you a few warnings. If you continue to cross boundaries I will block you.

I’m sorry to be harsh about this but I really have to put my foot down on this. I can’t tolerate people who won’t respect my boundaries.

This post might be subject to change and updated as time goes and as I interact more with viewers/readers. If you are wondering if something you’re doing might be crossing a boundary, you can use this post as a reference. I’ll pin it to my blog so anyone can find it.

If you are still not sure or want clarification, or you have a specific circumstance in mind, you can jump down to the comments section of this post, send me an ask, or even go to my DMs (if you want to ask privately). I will more than likely see your question and I’ll try my best to answer as soon as possible. It might take a bit depending on if I’m busy IRL. So please be patient.

Anyway, thank you guys for taking the time to read this and respecting my boundaries. Your support with my blog and art so far is greatly appreciated im excited to continue to interact with y’all going forward! (stars I sound like I’m writing a business email XP)

Also, I apologize if it might come off as harsh or passive aggressive, I’m a little bit steamed at the moment and I’m trying to make this as neutral as possible! 😅

Thanks again,

Midnight/Sanity

Last updated: 11/01/23

Also bc this post was helpful, this link will take you to the AU guide I had pinned previously

#my boundaries #blog #blog boundaries #boundaries #just some ground rules #don’t worry #no one is in trouble #and I’m not starting a witch hunt #just wanna put it on the record #you guys have been amazing so far #thanks to those who have been vouching for me #i appreciate you #❤️

66 notes · View notes

gatheredfates · 25 days

Note

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

Aww, I love positivity asks! I can't say mine are in any way profound, but:

My loved ones. Cheesy, I know. Shout-out to my partner who does have a Tumblr account but refuses to be perceived because I know he'll read this and appreciate the fact I didn't tag him. I've been asked before how on earth I've been in a relationship with one person for over half my life and that's simple: I fell in love with my best friend. 💖 Also huge shoutout to @riftdancing who will be perceived because she's the platonic love of my life and, without her, I would not be who I am today. These two have seen me at my literal worst and stuck by me — I love them to bits! There's also my FC members/close friends @lightwrought / @gaygentofchaos / @whirlwyrm / @snakemoltsiren / @swingbeard / @dragons-ire / other people I have missed and/or wouldn't like to be tagged but know you are included because I love you. IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW. Also everyone in Seafloor!

Music. I've always loved music, but I really only got into music and listening to different things later in life! Sleep Token fundamentally altered my brain chemistry and I will thrust them on anyone who will listen (start with Sundowning through to Take Me Back to Eden if you want the whole ~experience~ but Jaws is also a good separate introduction). I've also come to love Crywolf, Ashnikko, Bad Omens, as well as old faithfuls like Red, Evanescence, Halsey, etc.

My cat. She's not really my cat, but she adopted me. Ratticus le Catticuses the third of her name; brat cat, rat cat; little goblin; my little baby girl, love of my life. (Her name is Lucy).

Graphics design/creativity. I make it no secret my favourite part of my irl work is when I can make a brochure/pamphlet/poster. I don't profess to be an absolute master in it, and I'm entirely self-taught, but there is something about making something better. It's the same with GPOSING and the like. I don't do it often, but my edits are there. There are people in the community that use the little dividers I put together in Canva. It makes me happy!

My current mental health/personal journey. I'm in a really good spot mentally. My diagnosis has changed my life, and I was already on a good trajectory with my personal mantra/outlook on life prior to it. A few years go I was extremely depressed/anxious, I had a lot of trauma/paranoia around my spaces, and acted in ways I'm not proud of. I've reached out and reconciled a lot of it, and it's allowed me to engage with this community and my personal projects in a manner that's healthy and engaging for me. I was in a spot of ~drama~ recently (which I won't get into — that's another personal choice I made to keep things between relevant parties) and, rather than freaking out and thinking everyone hated me... I just dealt with it. I took all sides, formulated my opinions and blocked the people I didn't want to deal with. I was SO proud/happy with myself — I still am! It's not world-ending like it used to feel and that's so freeing for me as someone who used to be a chronic people-pleaser/conflict averse. I still want to try to be the latter, but I really believe the manta of 'be kind, take no shit'. It's done wonders for my happiness.

This got really long, I appreciate anyone who got to the bottom! I'll send these out to ten people from my permanent interaction call because I think that's nice. Thank you @disciple-of-frost for sending this in!! ✨

#｡･ﾟﾟ･ — sea speaks #｡･ﾟﾟ･ — sea answers things

22 notes · View notes

bananaproved · 3 months

Text

Top 6 shelved dramas that I would still really like to see

Ranked in no particular order, selection based on my personal tastes.

1) The Prisoner of Beauty

Plot : Adapted from the novel "Zhe Yao" by Peng Lai Ke, it tells the story of the arranged marriage between Wei Shao (Liu Yuning) and Qiao Man (Song Zuer). The fun thing about this marriage is that they both hate each other for complicated family reasons (in the novel Qiao Man's family is directly responsible for the death of Wei Shao's father), so they start they relationship by trying to make the life of the other a living hell. Ultimately, their relationship will develop as they are impressed by each other's ingenuity and discover common interests. There is also an important "let's protect the empire and the common people" plot behind the romance.

Why I wish I could see it : It looks good !! The main duo of actors are both really good looking, but the production in general looks really high budget, with good costumes and sets. I would love to see that. Just look at this trailer !

youtube

Why I am not seeing it any time soon : Song Zuer :/ bestie :/ tax evasion is bad !!

Can we have some hope ? : Not really, at this point of time, no c-actors caught for tax evasion managed to make an actual comeback in the industry (even really popular ones like Deng Lun or Fan Bing Bing). Song Zuer is still being investigated, so maybe we can hope to see her name cleared but it's a little unlikely because they don't investigate people just for fun. However Song Zuer was involved in a lot of high budget projects so I am sure a lot of people are really motivated to try to airdrop at least some of her projects if they have the possibility.

2) The Fated General

Plot : Classic high-budget historical drama telling the story of real life historical figure Huo Qubing (Zhang Ruoyun) during the Western Han Dynasty. It follows his military feats that got him the reputation of being one of the best military generals in the history of China.

Why I wish I could see it : First, the cast is incredible. We have Zhang Ruoyun (famous for being really good at choosing his scripts), Mao Xiao Tong, Bai Yu, Li Hongyi, Xu Yue, and others. It's really an all star cast except the drama was shot in 2016, before some of them became really famous, so it can be really interesting to watch ! Plus it's a really high budget drama, most of the outdoor scenes are shot in real landscape and not in a studio and it globally looks really good. For a better impression, look at this nice looking MV based on the different trailers of the show :

youtube

Why I am not seeing it any time soon : In 2019 (I think ?) the censorship rules changed concerning historical dramas and established the fact that dramas were forbidden to "distort" certain historical facts. This kind of put an end to traditional historical dramas as they became a way more risky investments, and stopped this one from airing as it already took some liberties in terms of storytelling. Huo Qubing is also a semi-controversial historical figure so it is not helping.

Can we have some hope ? : It's been 7 or 8 years and the regulations concerning historical fiction only got more restrictives in China so I would say no.

3) Immortality

Plot : I'm sure everybody knows the plot of Erha so I don't need to write it but just in case the important tags are : xianxia, dangai, shizunfuckers, reincarnation, blood spitting, stairs, ...

Why I wish I could see it : Outside of the obvious reasons (gay people on my screen, Luo Yunxi spitting blood), it's also produced by the same people involved in the production of Till the End of the Moon and Shui Long Yin, so I have I hopes for the artistic direction of the drama. Also for dmbj fans : did you know Liu Chang played a guest role in this drama ? Idk what he is doing here but I would love to see it.

Why I am not seeing it any time soon : We are all aware of the famous 2021 dangai ban, but in general the chinese government is not a big fan of massive and really agitated fandoms (in the way The Untamed fandom was), so Immortality is in a pretty bad position.

Can we have some hope ? : Yeah !!!!! Hyx TOMORROW !!! Believe in your dreams !!!

For real : Two options. 1) On a random morning of the year 20XX you wake up to danmei fans in your tl losing their marbles bc the 6 first episodes of hyx were randomly airdropped during the night with no promotion and no warnings. You cry some tears of joy and immediately go watch Luo Yunxi spit some blood on screen. 2) After many years hyx is still not out but there were so many leaks that the fans managed to recreate the entire series from scraps and now you can watch it in full. Look, they already started :

youtube

4) Night Wanderer

Plot : Zong Yin (Ni Ni) is a forensic expert living in Shanghai in 2021. She met, in her own apartment, a man, called Sheng Qing Rang (Deng Lun), claiming to be the owner of this apartment but in 1937. Together they discover that they can travel to their respective time periods through their shared apartment and start to develop a strong relationship, first as confidence and progressively as lovers. However, the situation get complicated as the Battle of Shanghai broke out in 1937 putting both of their lives in danger.

Why I wish I could see it : First, for lesbian reasons as I would never miss an occasion to stare at Ni Ni for 36 episodes (Wang Yuwen also has a supporting role here and I really like her ! Double win !). Second, it's actually a really nice and original plot for a CDrama and I have full confidence in both actors' capacity to pull off a really good performance to go with it. Look at this trailer ! It looks so promising !

youtube

Why I am not seeing it any time soon : Deng Lun !!! Tax evasion is bad !!

Can we have some hope ? : Even less than for The Prisoner of Beauty as Deng Lun is 100% proved to have committed tax evasion. There is often rumors about him coming back to acting but it's unlikely.

5) Winner is King

Plot : Based on the novel "Sha Po Lang" by Priest, set in a steampunk version of the Liang Dynasty. It tells the story of Chang Geng (Chen Zhe Yuan), a young man living in a random countryside village, who discovers after a raid on their village that the closest people around him were hiding a big secret about his identity. He also discovers that the people around him are not who they pretend to be, especially his yifu (adoptive father, played by Tan Jianci), and realizes that his life will never be the same.

Why I wish I could see it : Outside of the reasons already mentioned in hyx's case, Winner is King is also directed by the same director as Guardian and a Journey to Love. I really like his work and he proved that he was able to do really good things even with a really low budget, so now imagine with a decent amount of money ? It could be great. Also I really like the idea of an ancient china steampunk but I am too lazy to read the book.

Why I am not seeing it any time soon : Same reason as hyx and all the other dangais </3 Also I am not sure of how advanced the production was when it was stopped, because I feel like there are not as many content leaks.

Can we have some hope ? : If we can manifest hard enough the end of the ban, it is possible.

6) The Love of Hypnosis

Plot : During the end of Qing Dynasty, a (patriotic) young man named Yen Shen (Jing Boran) meets a fragrance shop owner named Lu Man Sheng (Liu Yifei). Man Sheng has the special ability/ mission to relieve the hearts of people suffering because of love, but it does not mean that her own romantic life is easier to deal with. Together they fall in love and have to navigate the really troubled times of the end of Qing Dynasty.

Why I wish I could see it : If you are familiar with Liu Yifei and Jing Boran acting I'm sure you can see the potential of this pairing ??? Just the poster has more on screen chemistry than some pairings have in 40 episodes. At this point the plot could be written by a cat walking on a keyboard and I would still have hope for a good chemistry. Also the drama has Liu Mintao in a supporting role and I am in love with her so it's a plus.

Why I am not seeing it any time soon : First, there are some copyright issues with the original manhwa author. Second, the second male lead, Zhao Lixin, got more or less canceled a few years back for political reasons (sorry I don't have the details).

Can we have some hope ? : I would say maybe a little. Copyright issues can be solved and I've heard that Zhao Lixin is still shooting in dramas, meaning that there is hope for some of his stuff still being released.

That's all <3

Sorry for depressing information maybe ? Next time I promise I will make a post about dramas I am looking forward to and that are likely to be released sooner or later.

#cdrama #the prisoner of beauty #the fated general #immortality #hao yi xing #night wanderer #winner is king #the love of hypnosis #hitting my head against the wall

31 notes · View notes

abyssleaves · 10 months

Text

Why I'll Be Remaining in the Lurking For Love Community

Ok.

Honestly, I really don't want to make this.

I'm way too old for fandom drama, and I don't need to be making myself a target. My gut is telling me that it's a bad idea to get involved, and I'm inviting trouble for myself by posting this.

But the most recent post against Tom is just ridiculous and I can't not speak my piece.

I'm not linking to it or reblogging it because I don't want to send hate anyone's way, and honestly because I'm going to block them as soon as this is posted. You can read mine and theirs for yourself and decide what you think.

As far as the “anti-Latino” posts that Tom liked, I can't speak to whether they do damage, or what Tom’s views actually are. I am not Latino, and I'm not Tom. It's not my place. But I will say I was aware of those posts long before I saw that “callout” post, and it's because multiple Latino artists I follow liked and retweeted them. At the time, I was given to understand that they were satirizing the fact that both were styles of stereotypes, but one was acceptable while the other was not, despite both being bad. I can't say, based on just those tweets, that I see any anti-Latino sentiment in Tom. I'm willing to admit that my knowledge on that front isn't bomb-proof.

The second point, well... I'm sorry to the friend that feels used. They're entitled to be hurt. And I will readily admit that I'm only able to respond to the info within that post. Maybe there IS more to it.

But I don't think that Tom ceasing contact over the hormones is surprising at all, from a mental health standpoint. Put yourself in his shoes: you're a trans person in US, which is its own struggle, and you've reached your mid/early 20s without being able to attain gender-affirming care. Now someone years younger than you just got the thing you want more than anything else. Sure, you might be happy for them. But that is also going to hurt, horribly. You really have three options:

1) stay friends and smother the bitterness/possible resentment. That will either end up ruining your mental health, or coming out and ruining the friendship anyway.

2) Ask your friend not to tell you/post about their transition. That makes it about you and also ruins something that should make them happy.

3) Distance yourself.

Maybe he should have spoken more directly with you about his feelings, granted. But, Tom has not been shy about the fact that he struggles with his mental health. None of us handle every situation well. As far as his occasional venting, I would think, if you WERE his friend, you might have some compassion, and either cease contact if the friendship is not fulfilling, or accept his sincere, well-written apology (Which are the ONLY words straight from Tom’s mouth on the entire fucking post).

Instead, you got the apology from him, and then shared a bunch of gossip between you and another friend, and outed your interpretations of his vent sessions to the world. That's not exactly classy, posting about how he sought people he felt safe with during a time when a big chunk of the community he built is telling him to do horrible things to himself.

I want to make it clear that I don't agree with all of Tom’s views as expressed on his initial explanation post. Again, many of them are issues that I don't feel are my place to get involved in, and therefore I stayed quiet at the time.

I'm aware that the justified and intense hurt felt by people in those communities can mean that even differing opinions feel like a slap in the face. You have every right to see Tom’s views as hurtful and choose to leave, and/or make a separate community for support. I don't blame people who are in those communities for doing so. This post is aimed at the obsessed minority that won't leave the tag/remaining fans/Tom alone.

All of the above being said, the reaction to Tom’s post is the most “touch grass” thing I have ever seen.

Tom liking one or two comics from a dark-humor comic artist so widespread on the internet that I didn't even know he had an actual page, or anything about him as a person (something Tom also stated) = Tom is a Nazi sympathizer.

Tom saying “I don't care for neopronouns, but I won't attack you for using them and will respect what everyone wants to be called” = Tom is a monstrous bigot.

The racism accusation has me especially 💀. All because he liked a post about help from an unexpected source and that we should be kinder to each other.

How on earth are you going to tell a POC that he doesn't know what racism is because he’s NOT THE RIGHT KIND OF POC? Do you hear yourself?

(FWIW, I also don't agree with kink at pride. Sorry. LGBTQ+ people are not "narsty little freaks"--yeah I SAW that post--they're people. They can be kinky, they can be vanilla, whatever. Kink has nothing to do with your orientation, and therefore it isn't part of Pride. Also, my guys, if you're having public sex/being nude at pride for kink reasons, then you're not part of the healthy kink community: safe, sane, and CONSENSUAL. Nobody around you consented to that. Similarly, while I feel that sex education for minors should be normalized in order to give them better tools to tell when they're being groomed, seeing strangers with no pants on is NOT education, that's involving minors in your fetish. And that's fucking gross. )

The LGBTQ+ community in the US is in a lot of trouble right now, and we have a very bad habit of eating our own. We divide and subdivide and allow ourselves to be carved up by a united conservative front.

We do not allow for differing levels of leftist beliefs, and we constantly accuse each other of being not POC/leftists/queer enough, or being the wrong kind, or using a term for ourselves that some other individuals don't like. A great deal of the bullying leveled against him is justified by others saying that he's choosing to support a party that will turn on him and cause him and others like him harm.

Well, to be honest, the only community I see doing that right now is this one.

The amount of disingenuous “OMG, just FYI everyone to everyone hurt by [situation], I’M not transphobic/a bigot, you're all welcome here 😌” posts from people, who did not read his post, did not link to or quote his post. Disgusting. You know very well that nothing in his explanation or in his actions throughout his time in the community pointed to any abuse ON HIS PART towards trans people, non-binary people, people of the Jewish faith, or POC. You're virtue signaling, you're putting lambs blood above your door to keep the baying mob away.

This is insane. When did differing opinions turn into this? You don't have to agree with Tom’s views on anything. You're welcome to not follow his accounts, not like his art, not buy his game. If you feel that his opinions are too severely different from yours, you should be allowed to leave the fandom without people telling you that you should do bad things to yourself because your opinions don't match theirs (sound familiar?).

But…please. Can we stop with this awful parasocial obsession with his personal page? You can't lie to yourself and call it anything other than literal stalking. It's creepy as hell, and it reflects more on you than on him, in the long run. People might agree with your outrage, but deep down, they're afraid of being the next target, and they stay quiet out of fear that you'll stalk them next and send a mob hurling abuse their way.

To Tom, I'm sorry that this happened to you. You didn't deserve anything even close to this level of vitriol and abuse. You started from scratch and created a character and story that I feel was something truly unique. You reached an incredible number of people's hearts with Lurking for Love and Jacob, and no matter what happens from here with both of them, you deserve to feel proud of that. I hope that you are ok. Being a public figure on the internet doesn't mean you don't have a right to private opinions or even just general privacy.

I'm not tagging any characters in this. I'm only tagging the game because I hope other fans get to see that they're not alone. I don't believe the tags should be polluted this way. If you have to discuss a creator, it should be in his tag and not in a fandom space.

I'm aware that there will be deliberate bad-faith readings of this, or nitpicking of things I didn't cover. Whoever wants to, go ahead and respond, but I've said what I came to say, and I have nothing more to add. My inbox is closed and I love the block button.

#lurking for love #lfl game #carnivorekitty

99 notes · View notes