#do we also want to stab Rhys | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cressidagrey · 3 months

Text

Lightning in a Bottle - Chapter 3

Summary:

Eira Archeron was neither a Valkyrie, nor a Seer, nor the High Lady of the Night Court. She was actually pretty much useless. The only thing she wanted was to be somebody's first choice for once in her life.

Also known as: Azriel's shadows decide that if he doesn't treat his mate right... they'll just do it for him.

Warnings:

Stabbing, Azriel unalives somebody that really had it coming, Death by being put on fire

(super pretty dividers by @tsunami-of-tears)

*If you keep glaring at Keir like that we are never getting anywhere,* Rhys said into his mind, some amusement bleeding into his voice.

*I think he’s trying to waste your time on purpose,* Azriel responded with a scowl.

The shadows hadn’t picked up anything out of the usual…but that didn’t mean anything…even Keir could manage to hide something if he really wanted to…and he did want to, Azriel thought.

He wasn’t sure yet what…but there was something. There must be something.

This meeting was utterly useless, was slowly turning into needless sniping at each other and Azriel didn’t like it…it felt like Keir was just trying to keep them in place for longer.

The question was just for what?

It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up like a cat…the feeling that something…something was…not quite right, that he couldn't put his finger on…

He hated that feeling. Azriel much preferred it, when he got all the facts… when he could make plans and plans for his plans…

But he couldn’t…and he was still stuck with being in the Hewn City and not in Velaris.

*Cassian is thinking the same,* Rhys responded with a sigh. *We’ll give it another hour. Don’t worry, we'll be back in Velaris soon enough,* he teased Azriel lightly. Rhys must have caught one of his thoughts. *Give Feyre some time and then you can go get your girl.*

An easy promise given.

*Not my girl,* Azriel gave back immediately. *Not yet. Not…* Not until she wanted to be. Not until she knew the truth and…

*She won’t turn you down, Az,* Rhys said quietly, sussing out what was really bothering him immediately.

But what if she did? Eira had every reason in the book to turn him down. Starting with his ill-thought-out pursuit of her actual twin sister to the simple fact of who he was…

She had every reason to tell him to fuck off to the continent because she never wanted to see him again. Granted, he highly doubted she would do that…he had never heard as much as a curse word out of her mouth.

She had been raised as the daughter of a wealthy merchant, and clearly, that’s how she carried herself, even after everything had happened.

At least she had clung to that bit of her human life.

*She has every reason to,* Azriel disagreed quietly. Every reason to turn him down. Regardless of what he wished for…every reason not to be interested.

What if she wanted to cling to even more of her human life? If the wings that he sprouted from his back were a step too far for her…if the scars that marred his hands were…

Or what if she simply didn’t want him? That would be a valid choice too and he would accept that.

Of course, he would.

He never wanted to force her into anything that she didn’t want.

So what if she hated him?

*She won't and she doesn't,* Rhys disagreed sharply. *Azriel, Mor was right,” his brother told him pointedly. “Eira has been having a crush on you for years. She’ll probably be ecstatic and immediately start planning your wedding…Maybe Elain can lend her all her wedding binders,” Rhys teased him.

He bit back a smile at that. Maybe…maybe… He wished for that. He wished that would be…

Whatever she wanted. She wanted a big wedding? He would suffer through that, just for the chance of seeing her happy. Just for her smiling at him…not as painfully polite as she had been last evening but bright and happy and unbridled…He wanted to see that.

He wanted to see all of that.

But he pushed that thought away.

*I am intrigued and terrified by what is actually in these binders,* Azriel admitted drily. *Even you didn’t have that many when you were planning Nesta and Cassian’s mating ceremony.*

*Helion is overcompensating,* Rhys quipped, though they both knew that it probably was the truth.

After everything had gone down in Autumn, ending with a dead Beron, High Lord Eris and Lucien Vanserra officially becoming Lucien Spell-Cleaver…well.

*I owe you an apology,* Rhys said at that moment, and Azriel stared at his brother, who was listening to Keir with a bored expression on his face. *I did only want…the best for you that solstice but how I went around it…that wasn’t particularly nice to you.*

*Actually I owe you my gratitude,* Azriel said drily. *I didn’t want to hear it then…but I was…I wasn’t in love with Elain. I was…infatuated,* he admitted. *I was jealous of you and Cassian and that…that clouded my judgement. It could have ended very badly if you didn’t intervene.*

Very badly. A Blood Duel would have been their smallest problem then.

*It could have,* Rhys agreed. *That’s why I interfered in the first place…But I still hurt you in that moment, and I wish I hadn’t.*

*If I keep behaving like an idiot you have my full permission to call me out on it,* Azriel gave back with a sigh.

*Then stop thinking like you don’t deserve her,* Rhys said with a mental eye roll.

*Sure, I’ll stop once you stop thinking the same about Feyre,* he shot back. Rhys would have retorted, but he was beaten to it.

The shadows came suddenly, in a frenzy whispering in his ear, voices hurried and panicking: Master, Master you need to come NOW!

*What’s wrong?* Rhys demanded, just as that dormant bond in his chest was flooded with pure, undiluted terror.

The Princeling and our Mate!

*Eira and Nyx,* he choked out. The shadows already grasped him, before Rhys’ mental order could fully reach him.

*GO!*

They dragged him out of Hewn City, into Velaris.

The ground he hit was scorched.

That was the first thing he realised.

Magic crackled in the air, thick and furious, untrained and uncontrolled…that was the second.

Nyx had one specific playground he loved…one where Azriel knew members of their family often brought him to…with swings that he adored…

It was a place of happiness…of children laughing…of Velaris at its best…

Now…now it was a scorched wasteland.

The swings? Gone. The smell of burning human flesh in the air, making his stomach twist, eyes tracking over the carnage.

At least two dead…difficult to say because their bodies were burned…beyond recognition.

One more dead…mouth open in a silent scream… One…one male held by his shadows, bearing him down onto the ground…and then, right in the middle of that carnage… in a heap on the ground…

The high-pitched crying of Nyx reached his ears, covered by the unmoving body of Eira.

Azriel had thought that panic had been burned out of him centuries ago. He was taught something better that morning. Because it was panic that flooded his veins. Panic and Terror and…a thousand other things.

*I need Mor! And Madja!* he snapped along the mental connection to Rhys, already hurling for both of them…sliding onto his knees as he so very carefully touched Eira’s body, feeling the delicate bones underneath his fingertips, a near unseen tremble, the smell of acrid blood clinging to her, layering over her scent.

She had always smelled like snowdrops to him. Snowdrops and almonds and a crackling hearth.

Now the blood…the blood…He turned her around, getting no reaction, finding Nyx safe and sound tucked underneath her, crying, his little face red and splotchy as he sobbed.

*AZRIEL!?* Rhys demanded.

*Nyx is fine. Not a scratch.*

All he managed…as he finally saw the scarlet red dripping down onto Nyx…smeared all over him…and then he saw the handle of that dagger protruding from Eira’s limp form.

Blood. Her blood.

“Ra! Ra! Ra!” Nyx gargled, just as he finally managed to slap a patch of his killing power around that knife, keeping it steady. He didn’t pull it out, knowing that that could kill her…even when the blood that oozed out around it was starkly black in places…and he could smell the scent of…something burning in the back of his throat.

Poison. That knife had been poisoned.

A curse left his mouth at that.

That wasn't good. That was everything but good.

*Eira?* Rhys demanded at that moment.

*Stabbed.*

The connection went silent, just as the booming sound of Morrigan winnowing went in beside him.

“Az?”

“She needs Madja. Now,” he bit out. “Take them both.”

Safe. Safe.

He needed her safe. And then he needed…

He leaned down, picking up one limp hand and pressing a kiss against it, her skin clammy and grey…even when he could feel her pulse thrumming underneath the thin skin on the back of her wrist... He breathed in snowdrops and almonds and sweetness...and then let go, because if he didn't...he never would. He would lie right down next to her, waiting for his demise.

He grasped Truthteller without even thinking about it, as he stalked across the ground towards the one sole survivor. The shadows jerked him up, and Azriel grabbed hold of his throat.

“What. Did. You. Do?!” he growled. What had they done to Eira? To his mate?

“I…we…just the Prince…Grab the Prince. No matter the cost,” the male garbled out, the acrid smell of urine hitting his nostrils and only now Azriel took in the black uniform.

Darkbringer.

Court of Nightmares. Keir.

Suddenly… it all made sense. It came together. The secret Keir had been keeping. It was so clear now.

“Who hired you?!” Azriel spat out, wanting a verbal answer before…before...

“The Steward!”

And that’s all he needed to hear, before he drove Truthteller into him, into the exact same place where they had stabbed Eira…not immediately killing him, but seeing his eyes widen, seeing the realisation set in….the pained scream escaping him.

“She’s mine,” Azriel whispered. “Mine. And you hurt her. You hunted her.” Like a game. Like an animal.

She was his. His mate.

And Azriel hadn’t been there to protect her. He hadn’t been there for any of this…

“Lightning,” the male choked, blood bubbling on his lips. *She…killed…lightning.”

He didn't care what the male told him. It didn't matter. None of this mattered.

The only thing that mattered was her.

He watched as the light dimmed in his eyes, feeling a sick sense of satisfaction that he at least had gotten to do this. At least…

*It was Keir,* Rhys said into his mind, his voice deathly quiet. *He…He ordered…*

*He wanted Nyx,* Azriel agreed, pulling Truthteller out of the body, letting the male fall to the ground, wiping the blade on his trousers.

*How many did you kill?* Rhys asked. No judgment. He could have slaughtered three dozen and Rhys wouldn’t have cared at that moment.

*One.*

He could feel Rhys’ surprise. Then: *He said he sent 4.*

*Two were burned beyond recognition,* Azriel explained. *Another is dead, but still recognisable. I do not know how he died. The whole ground is charred. Scorched.*

A second later…Rhys and Cassian appeared, winnowing in from Hewn City. He imagined that Feyre had gone straight to their son. Cassian took one look around at the ground, the carnage…the…

“Fuck,” he breathed. “Mor took Nyx and Eira?” he asked and Azriel forced a nod, feeling for that golden thread bound around his rib…wished he would get something, anything from her…

“She shielded him with her body,” he said nearly tonelessly. “He was smeared in her blood because she shielded him.”

Even stabbed, even feeling like she was going to die…Eira had done everything to shield her nephew. Had used her own body to keep him safe. Had protected him with her life.

Azriel had never doubted that she loved him…but it still…she must not have even hesitated. Just done it.

She was a slip of a girl, with no combat training…and she had faced four of the Court of Nightmare's most elite soldiers and laid down her life if that meant that Nyx would be safe.

He had seen grown Illyrian Warriors that would have tucked tails and run in this situation.

Outnumbered…Outpowered. And still, she had stood her ground.

“What happened here?” Cassian asked as he checked the other recognisable body.

“They must have surprised her,” Rhys said, his voice shaking. “She thought they were safe. We thought they were safe…”

And they hadn’t been. They hadn’t been safe.

At all.

Death had been brought right to their doorstep in Velaris.

“How did he die?” Rhys demanded from Cassian.

“He was struck by lightning,” Cassian responded drily. “I have seen this before…on a cow though. It would also explain the scorched ground. If lightning hits the ground, it makes a pattern like that.”

What?

Lightning?

He looked up to the sky. It was a beautiful summer’s day. Not a trace of a storm…anywhere.

“Do you think it was Nyx?” Cassian asked quietly but Rhys shook his head.

“I have never seen anybody channel lightning,” Rhys answered, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Never. I…” Neither had Azriel. “He’s too young to channel magic like that.”

But was he? In a situation like that? When he had just tried to protect Eira? and himself? Maybe even at 1-year-old Nyx had recognised what…what would happen if he didn’t protect himself. Maybe it had been pure instinct on his part…Maybe he had seen Eira fall and that had been…

Eira.

He reached for that bond again, feeling it tremble and he hung onto it with all his might, clenching his teeth.

He…

He had failed her, hadn’t he? It should have never come that far. It should have never…It should have never…

Azriel should have been the one taking that knife to the chest, not her.

“Clearly not,” Cassian disagreed with a snort. “He’s your son,” Cassian pointed out drily. “He’s Feyre’s son…who knows what he has inherited from her.”

Rhys stayed rooted in one spot, blinking once.

“Rhys?” Cassian asked immediately.

“Get Nesta,” he ordered Cassian. “We are needed at the River House.” And then after a second that felt like eternity…“It’s not…It’s not looking good.”

And with one sentence…everything crumbled.

#acotar fanfiction #my writing #azriel x oc #azriel x reader #lightning in a bottle #azriel fanfiction #azriel fanfic #azriel x archeron!reader

628 notes · View notes

bubbles-for-all-of-us · 4 months

Text

The apparition

a/n only fitting for to me come back with an angst after a month of disappearing. Do I think that this should have never seen the light of day? Yes. But oh well�� Sleep token made me do it. Also, this a one shot. Won’t be writing a part two to this. Pain is pain for a reason. 🥹

warning: forbidden love, addiction, toxic love?, past trauma, brief mentions of sexual intimacy.

The part in italics is the glimpse of the past.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

He felt like a kid. Pushed aside once again. A rock. Kicked carelessly by the side of the road. Mindlessly misplaced. Carelessly ignored. Azriel knew his tendencies. That desire to be loved. To be wanted. To be longed for. That same feeling had him crawling after females who never reciprocated his affection. Yet he crawled back. No matter the amount of stabs his heart took. He always found himself reaching.

Was this something his brothers had warned him about? Yes. Cassian repeatedly sat him down like a youngling, pointing out the damage he was creating. The wounds Azriel was tearing open. The self-inflicted pain he was causing himself. Yes, yes, and triple fucking yes. But it was like a drug, and he was an addict. Addict that was so far down the line that the withdrawal was scarier than knowing that every morning his bed was cold, his arms were empty, and his heart had been bled dry.

The corner street door creaked open. Alerting the lost spymaster. His senses perked up. Azriel doubted that it was true, but even now, even without catching a glimpse of you, he was convinced that he sensed you. But nothing compared to that wave of familiarity that crashed into him when your frame came into view. Chasing the last bits of air out of his lungs. His hands reached out in a frenzy of muscle memory.

“Azriel?”, and it’s the surprise—the hints of horror, almost pain—that sounded in the way you said his name. But his mind was too far gone to register that. So much of an always-alert spymaster. “Oh, no, no," you dragged your hand out of his grip, “You shouldn’t be here”, you shook your head, putting distance between you two. "Please," and here goes that plea. The desperation. “No, Azriel, we had a deal, remember? Last week was the last time," you hissed at him, turning to look over your shoulder.

“This will be the last time," Azriel muttered. A lie. He knew that. But maybe you didn’t. Maybe he could lie to himself to the point where even the ones around him believed him. “Oh, no, I know how this goes." You shook your head repeatedly, “I warned you, you stupid fool." He could feel the frustration flowing through you. The panic. “You promised me you were decent. That you had a hold of your mental shields." There was nothing sweet in your tone as you hissed out, reaching to open the door leading to your shop.

“They were. They are," Azriel muttered, stepping after you. “Don’t lie to me. You can’t fool me”, you huffed, looking through the drawer, cursing as loose pieces of paper swayed, falling to the floor. And Azriel just stood there, watching. Drinking in every single movement. “When?”, you asked, wild eyes looking up at Azriel. And he knew exactly what you wanted to know too. Should he lie? Alter the date? Hide a symptom or two. “Last month," his mouth betrayed him, however, and he had a first-seat ticket to watching your face fall. “But it’s not bad; I have it under control," Azriel quickly jumped in, hoping to defuse the situation, “It just flared up tonight, I promise." Another lie. But if he wanted to get what he was looking for, he had to push this narrative in a convincing enough manner.

“I’m telling Rhys," you muttered. "No," Azriel cut in so quickly that it made you jolt. “No need, plus he is aware that I am seeing you," he added in a much calmer tone. “Seeing me or seeing me now?”, you pushed. It was the mess with Elain that had made him crumple. Had taken him out for months before he found his footing once again. Even if he knew that the relationship had an expiration date, the mating bond always won. No matter the stories others showed down one’s throat about the chance of rejecting it.

“All of it. Knows all of it”, Azriel nodded. Just one more, he thought, just for tonight. “I’m saying this as a friend. You can’t keep coming back," you whispered, “This needs to stop." It was Rhys who had found you. An illusionist manipulating people’s emotions, threading together images that felt real to the depths of one’s bones. An alter of wished they called you. People and even high-fea prayed at your altars for Mother's sake. You were something some feared and others were ready to sacrifice themselves for.

“What illusions do you obtain from?" It was your fifth meeting, and Azriel, much to your dismay, had pushed the idea of getting to know each other. After all, he would have to let you into the depths of his soul. So that had been his one rule—befriend me first. You had stayed silent for a long time. Twirling the red wine in your glass. “Of love," you muttered, and Azriel could have never imagined that those two words would alert all of his life. “Why?”, was a question brought up by pure curiosity back then, with no implied intentions. “It gets messy, and the falsification of love feels wrong. Such feelings shouldn’t be tainted by magic," you said, pushing your hair over your shoulder. You glowed even in the dim light. The curves of your body were breathtaking as you lounged in the day bed on the balcony of Azriel’s apartment. It was a lethal kind of beauty, and with a handful of heartbeats, he knew that he was already slipping.

“I saw Elain today; she... we spoke, and I just..." It was a hell of a lie he was choosing, but the need won out in his logical sense. “Mend it for me; I can’t keep feeling as if I have nothing," he breathed out. His eyes filling up with tears. “Just this one time," Azriel said, sinking to his knees. He saw your walls cracking slowly as you rounded the table. Fingers reaching out to cup his face. His hands reach to hold onto your hips. Pleading eyes burning into you. “I should have never said yes, and I hope you know how much I regret this," you muttered, clawing at his heart.

“Admit it, I’m a fun company." Azriel leaned closer, making sure you could hear him through the music. You had no clue how he managed to drag you to Rita’s of all places, but here you were. One of the finest silks on your skin. A private booth. The lights. The drumming of the crowd. You shook your head, suppressing a smile. “You’ve gotten cocky," you observed, “Who knew you had that in you." Azriel leaned back, undoing the first button of his black shirt. "Oh, there’s so much more you don’t know about me, baby," he said, speaking into thin air. Knowing that you could hear him. He had leaned in only to feel you closer to him. Smirking as he lifted his glass.

His hands reached out, taking hold of your legs as he pulled them up, draping them over his lap. Caught by the sudden movement, you were forced to reach out. Hand on his shoulder as you steadied yourself. That’s when he caught that unrehearsed glimpse of need in your eyes, but it was quickly pushed back. “Now this is crossing the line," you huffed. But before you had a chance to move, Azriel clasped his hand on your thigh. “What are you afraid of?” He threw that question absentmindedly, not realizing how deep that root of pain was. “Wasn’t that what you asked me the first day we met?” Azriel smirked before averting his attention back to the crowd. Leaving you slowly breaking down beneath the feeling of him. Beneath the fear of yourself.

“I should have never given in," you said, lifting his chin, and he obliged without a fuss. “You liked this too. Admit it," Azriel bit back, his hold on you tightening. He would fight hell in hopes of being able to keep his hands on you. In hopes of keeping you. “We had a deal. No falling for one another," you hissed, nails digging into the sides of his face. “I warned you that my kind doesn’t do happy endings and picket fences, Azriel," you huffed. “I don’t need that from you," he argued, “I just need you to chase Elain away. That hasn’t changed. I still love her, not you." Another lie for the night. A bitter chuckle slipped through your lips, “You’re one shit of a liar, dear spymaster of the night court.”.

You were to blame for this just as much. You should have stood your ground. Should have never been entertained by that wimp. Because Rhys had warned you. Told you about Azriel's tendencies. So the fact that he had asked for a night that would make him feel loved should have been a red flag. But it was the empath in you that buckled at the feeling of his sadness. The loneliness that could drown out the whole army. The crippling emptiness. The way he broke down crying as he held onto you.

But all that could have been forgiven. Could have been managed. But it was yourself that you threaded into that glimpse of hope for him. Something you had never done before. It was always a made-up face you used while creating an illusion. It was the safest way. But you had been just as selfish. Nights spent getting to know each other left you wondering what it would feel like to know the touch of a man who wanted you. Who craved you. Who chose you even though loving you was a forbidden act of insanity.

And then it felt as if sending a ship you knew was destined to sink set sail. The next time Azriel stopped by, he was barely through the door as his hand grabbed the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. It felt so raw. So powerful. Whatever was happening in that small corner shop was way too big for it. Too big for Velaris. The whole world. As his hands danced over your body. Unraveling parts of you no one had seen before. Laying you bone bare beneath him. “Make me feel," he had whispered over and over. That sad lost man, making you break your own rules as you wrapped him in the sense of eternal peace as he made love to you over and over again. Digging a grave for each of you.

“If loving that silly girl with flowers in her hair had an explanation date, this has the date of your death engraved on your gravestone," you whimpered, your eyes burning as you held back tears. You warned him. Kept on warning him. In hopes of being able to wash your hands clean afterward. Because he knew the consequences. Loving you wasn’t something that could ever happen. But it only dragged you deeper. “I know. I remember everything," Azriel muttered, pressing ghost-like kisses over your stomach. His hands already slipping past the hem of your dress. Fingers skimming over your legs. You pressed your own hands over his, “Just an illusion this time, nothing more." You reached to pull back from his touch, but his grip on your thighs only tightened. “Let me make love to you," Azriel pleaded, and if you could justify the opium your magic gave him before, it was oozing out in ugly sores now. You had doomed him. Pained tears fell down your cheeks as you kneeled in front of him. Cupping his face with both hands. You let yourself take in the sight of him. Both because you knew that you would never meet another man like him and so you could torment yourself with guilt for fracturing him for the rest of your existence.

“You’re all better now," you muttered, smiling up at him. Azriel’s eyes grew hazy. “Do you remember the night we danced in your apartment after way too much wine?” You pushed the damp curl from his forehead, biting the inside of your cheek so you wouldn’t break down alongside him. He nodded eagerly. “You’re there, my love, in that moment," you said, taking a steady breath. Savoring the warmth of him. The feeling of him being close. “But you’re not there with me. Because I’m not real, Azriel," his shoulders sagged at your words. You could feel him trying to pull back, but you kept your hand on his neck. “I was never here. Never with you. You dreamed me up, baby," you said, pressing your lips to his forehead. You closed your eyes, feeling your own heart shatter, “But it was a nice dream, Az, and you will wake up way lighter tomorrow.”

Those same words were like a broken record as Azriel jumped up. Body aching and drenched in sweat. He turned aimlessly, as if in hopes of seeing you there. But he was in his room. The black sheets covered his body. "No," he grunts, yanking the black silk off him. Without a second thought, he winnowed. To one place that had been calling for him all of these weeks. And he’s nearly falling to his knees as the side of the wall comes into view. No windows. No sign. A solid concrete wall. “I know it’s your doing," he screams angrily into the depths of night. Hands pushing against the solid foundations. But there’s nothing. Not even a breath of you. As if it were never there. As if for the entire time it was just the corner of the street.

“You can’t push me away," he roared, beating his fist till the skin of his knuckles cracked, “You’re a fucking coward; that’s what you are." There was no way he had dreamed it. That you were a fleeting image of the night. Drafted by his brain. “You promised...", Azriel sank to his knees. His hands still pressed against the wall as he leaned against it. “I know it was real; you can’t make me believe otherwise," he crocked out, angry tears rolling down his cheeks. Falling to the ground, he pressed his back against where the door of your shop used to be. His wings sagged on either side of him. And he just sat there. The stars up above keep him company throughout the rest of the night. He wasn’t gonna move. He won’t go. He wouldn’t go. The wind kissed his damp cheeks but he was numb to it. You watched him from the other side of the alley. Hand on your mouth as you drowned the shattering waves of pain within. You watched until the night took you away forever.

#azriel spymaster #azriel acotar imagine #azriel x oc #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel imagine #azriel acotar #azriel #acotar imagine #acotar x you #acotar x reader

250 notes · View notes

daydreaming-nerd · 5 months

Text

Young Love and Old Money (Cassian x Female! Reader) Part 11

Young Love and Old Money Masterlist

AN: Once again sorry this took a while! I'm about to graduate college (which I'm not happy about) and I've been packing and moving stuff home. Also guess who finished Iron Flame? ME! (Yes I know that i'm so late to the game. Graduation remember) but hey y'all drop your Xaden Riorson requests ;)

Summary: She was the most beautiful woman in Prythian, sister to the High Lord of Night, and now she is the soon-to-be wife of Eris Vanserra. Despite her many titles and her aura of unattainability, Cassian can't help but fall deeply in love with the princess of the Night Court. But will it be enough to stop her impending wedding to a man who is sure to destroy her from the inside out?

Warnings: mentions of injuries and infertility, smut, violence.

Word Count: 7,238

The next 24 hours I was bedridden, not by my wishes, but my Madja’s and well, Cassian’s. For most of those hours I was asleep, in Cassian’s arms of course. Getting him to do anything but hold me was a miracle. Not that I was complaining, but when it came to matters of him needing to eat and such I was very adamant that he do so.

Neither of us spoke much, both of us just wanting the peace of each other's company. When I would wake up I would tilt my head up from Cassian’s chest to see if he was awake or asleep. According to him I was a sleep magnet.

He would ask me if I was cold or hungry, but mostly he asked how I was feeling, which thankfully was better. My body still aches from the bruises left on me. But since the bloodbane was now out of my system the scars from both of my stab wounds were healing nicely.

I was lying on Cassian’s chest, enjoying his heartbeat when a timid knock sounded on the door. I lifted my aching body to turn and find my brother poking his head through the door, just like he used to when he would ask me if I wanted to sneak out for a midnight flight to the candy shop.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, shutting the door behind him softly, like the sound would be too much for me to stand.

“Much better, still sore and a little tired from the blood loss but at least I’m not near freezing now,” I smiled at him, Cassian rubbed my shoulder as if I needed that small ounce of warmth the friction provided.

“That’s good,” Rhys said, putting his hands behind his back. “If you’re feeling up to it, I’d like to talk to you.”

“Yes I just woke up so I’m feeling rested,” I say moving to sit up on the bed, my joints protesting.

Cassian’s hands found their place under my arms to help lift me into position and then fluffed all my pillows so I would sit comfortably. When the Illyrian made no effort to get out of bed and leave the room, Rhys cleared his throat, getting his attention.

“Yes?” Cassian cocked an eyebrow, clearly oblivious to what Rhys wanted.

“Can I have a word with my sister alone?” Rhys asked.

Cassian just rolled his eyes dramatically and moved to get out of bed. Before he left, he leaned over me and placed a kiss on my lips, one I greedily took as there was once a time I thought I would never taste him again. It wasn’t until my mate sauntered out and closed the door that Rhys spoke again.

“That’s going to take some getting used to,” he laughed sitting at the side of my bed.

“What is?” I ask, shifting in my seat to get more comfortable.

“My little sister making out with my best friend,” he explained, nodding towards the door.

“We did not make out,” I scoff, slapping him in the arm.

“Any kind of kissing I see from the two of you might as well be fucking,” he laughed again, shying away from my hand. “Now enough of that, I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize? For what?” I furrow my brows, wondering what my saint of a brother could possibly have to apologize for.

“For being a bad brother, for not being there for you after we escaped, for even suggesting you marry Eris,” he sighed, casting his head down like he couldn’t stand to look at me. “After we got back from under the mountain I started thinking about how I did everything wrong. How if father was still High Lord that never would’ve happened. That’s why I went looking through his things, and that’s how I found the contract. I thought that if I was more like him, I could keep us all safe. I could keep us from having to endure Hybern’s wrath like we did Amarantha’s. I spent too much time thinking about my own mate and my own trauma that I didn’t even stop to consider yours, and I’m so sorry.”

“Rhys,” I breathe, feeling my heart break as I reach for his hand. “You aren’t a bad brother, you’re far from it. You’re the best big brother I could’ve ever asked for. I never gave you the option to be there for me after we got back, and I never made an effort to be there for you. We both messed up,”

“Why didn’t you tell me about Eris? You know I would’ve stopped the whole thing right then and there if I knew he had hurt you like that.” He asks, gripping my hand tighter, his brows furrowing as he searches my weary face for an answer.

“Because you sacrificed so much for me, Rhys. You sold yourself into slavery to keep me from the exact same fate. It’s a debt I never thought I’d be given the opportunity to repay.” I take a deep breath, letting the weight of my own words hit me. “You saved me, I owed you Rhys. I would’ve done anything to help you. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out, that we won’t have those armies anymore.”

Rhys’ violet eyes glisten with tears as he takes in every word I say. There’s an overwhelming guilt that fills the room. One that ebbs and flows from both of us. For the first time in 49 years I felt like I was truly seeing my brother again for the first time and what a lovely sight it was.

“Don’t you dare apologize y/n,” Rhys says, scooting closer to me. “If you were still his wife and living in the Autumn Court, I would have burned the whole place down, given what I know now. Gods I nearly lost my mind when Azriel showed up here with you, and when Madja said you may never wake up? It was worse grief than when mother and father died. Because it would’ve been my fault. You would’ve died before I ever got the chance to make things right again and I don’t think I could’ve lived with myself.”

“But we don’t have to worry about that anymore,” I cry, holding both of his hands. “I’m here now.”

“And you’re not going anywhere,” he assures me. “I can’t be High Lord of this court without my little sister.”

My words get caught in my throat at his words and I decide to hell with them. I throw my arms around his neck for the first time in a long time. He plucks me from the bed, pulling me closer, like I might slip out of his grasp and be lost forever. Both of us blubber like babies, but I can’t help but smile as I’m engulfed in the scent of sea salt and citrus again. I had missed him so much.

I hear the snapping of leather wings and then suddenly the light around me goes dark. I open my eyes to see Rhys' wings wrapping around me, cocooning me, just like he used to do when we were little kids. I can’t help but laugh and wipe away a tear as I take them in.

“We haven’t done this since-”

“Since father yelled at you for trying to sneak out to go on a date with the blacksmith's son,” Rhys said finishing my sentence.

“That’s right!” I gasp remembering the young man with shaggy brown hair. “What was his name again?”

“Arne, and he nearly soiled himself when father and I showed up to his doorstep and told him to stay away from you.” he chuckled.

“I didn’t know you went too!” I gawk, eyes going wide.

“Well of course I did, he didn’t deserve your affections,” Rhys smirked.

“All this time I blamed father but you were in on it! I hate you!” I laugh, slapping his chest. “He was handsome.”

“Don’t let Cassian know that,” Rhys teased and I couldn’t help but laugh at the image of Arne standing next to Cassian. Soil himself he certainly would in the presence of The Lord of Bloodshed.

“I promise you I’m fine. Madja said it would be good for me to start walking around more!” I protest at Cassian’s vice grip trying to keep me in bed.

It had been two days since the conversion with my brother, one that had gone into the late hours of the night as we reminisced about the old days. The only reason the conversation ended was because Cassian barged in claiming he was tired and refused to sleep anywhere but with his mate. Rhys happily obliged him and promised he would eat lunch with me the following day, which he did.

Now I was feeling much better, as my stab wounds were scarred but healed. My body still ached from the bruises all over me, both left there from Eris' hands when he took me by force, and from being dragged through the palace. But I was in desperate need of a bath, and a change of clothes. So I wasn’t taking Cassian’s pleas that I stay in bed another day.

“Fine but let me help you at least,” he grumbles rounding the bed so he can take my hands and help me stand. My legs shake under the weight of my own body but hold strong. The long sleeve shirt of Cassian’s covering my wobbling knees.

“See I’m fine,” I laugh taking slow steps to the bathroom where the house has already prepared me a steaming hot bath. The smell of Jasmine bath salts wafts through the air further solidifying that I’m home, in Velaris, and everything is okay.

I lift Cassian’s shirt over my head, discarding it on the floor and for the first time since I’ve been home I finally get a good look at myself. Except I’m not sure the person looking back at me in the mirror is me. Angry hand shaped bruises mar my hips and my forearms from where Eris gripped me. The hand print around my neck finally started to fade but it was still there. My knees and elbows were bruised from being dragged over stone floors and the scar on my side had finally healed to a faint pink.

“Gods what did he do to you?” Cassian breathed from the doorway, breaking me out of my trance. I turn to meet his worried gaze as his eyes look up and down my body at the evidence of what Eris did.

“You don’t want to know Cass,” I say, turning back to see myself in the mirror again. Cassian’s frame comes to stand beside me as he places a kiss on my bare shoulder.

“If you ever need to talk about it I’ll be here. You don’t have to hide it from me just because you don’t think I want to hear.” he says, staring at me through the mirror.

I turn in his arms to run a hand down his chest, “Can I ask you a favor? One you can absolutely say no to and I won’t be upset?” I ask him timidly.

“You could ask me for the moon on a string and I would fly up there and get it for you my love. Anything you want and it’s yours,” he smiles, brushing his knuckles against my face.

“Will you teach me how to fight? I’ve been thinking about what happened with Eris, and how helpless I felt. How I knew that all I could do was lie down and take it. I don’t have powers like Rhys, or even wings like you and Azriel to take me away. I don’t ever want to feel that way again, I never want to feel helpless.” I admit staring at his bare chest, unable to meet his gaze.

His hand finds my chin and lifts it to meet his eyes, in them, so much love. Pain for what I’ve gone through, but pride for how I’ve chosen to handle it. I could feel every emotion down the bond that I thanked the mother for every day.

“You will never have to feel helpless again y/n. I’ll kill anyone who dares to harm you and I won’t feel a lick of remorse for doing so. But I would be honored to train you,” he smiles, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “You’re going to bring me to my knees in Illyrian fighting leathers,” he laughs.

I giggle at his comment and smack him on the chest, before waltzing over to the bathtub and getting in. The warm water washing over me practically has me falling apart as I let out an appreciative hum. I close my eyes and lean my head against the edge of the tub already feeling the invisible dirt and grime being lifted off of my skin. It’s like being reborn.

When I don’t feel another body I open one eye to see Cassian standing next to me arranging towels and clothes for when I get done. I can’t help but smile at the overbearing mother hen he’s been the last couple of days. If I told anyone that The Lord of Bloodshed was fluffing towels and laying out outfits I’m sure none would believe me.

“Are you going to get in general?” I ask, nodding to the space before me. The bathtub isn’t as big as his, but it’ll do.

“If you’re asking me to get in and just sit with you, yes. But if you’re hoping for anything more the answer is no. You’re not fully healed yet and I don’t want to hurt you,” he says firmly, setting the towels down.

“But Cass I’m fine-”

“No you’re not, the wound on your stomach is still healing,” he states and I know he’s right.

“Fine, get in you Illyrian baby,” I say moving my legs to make room for him.

He rolls his eyes at my comment but drops his pants. The moment he does I instantly curse myself for allowing my eyes to ogle him. Then I curse him and his stupid temporary sex ban. It had been well before the wedding since he and I had been intimate that way and I wanted so badly to touch him. To solidify the fact that he was purely mine. Even as he looked disorientated as hell trying to find a way for his wings to fit in the smaller tub, he was handsome.

“Here,” I laugh, moving over to sit in his lap so that he can extend his legs and move more. “There now we both fit.”

“As soon as you're well I’m flying you back to The House of Wind and we’re taking a proper bath,” he laughs, pressing a kiss to my nose.

“I’ll hold you to that general,” I smile leaning in to kiss him.

Just like the first time we bathed together he takes the time to gently wash all of me. The way his large hands massage my scalp as he washes my hair has my eyes fluttering shut, as do his soft touches as he washed my body. The smell of my jasmine and amber soap filling my nose and making me feel like myself again. His hand lingers over the nail shaped scar across my stomach and his eyes zero in there. As if there’s something on the tip of his tongue.

“There’s something I need to tell you, something that I’ve been avoiding.” he says, not taking his eyes off the scar. “I wanted to wait until you were completely healed but I think you should know now.”

Anxiety starts to build inside of me. I thought that after the wedding he had stopped keeping secrets. Whatever this was, it was big. Big enough for his eyes to start glazing over as they stayed riveted on my stomach.

“What is it?” I say quietly when he doesn’t speak up.

“Madja was able to heal most of you but there were things even her magic couldn’t fix. She says that the wound to your womb was severe, that it hit an area she couldn’t heal. Because of it, you may never be able to have children,” he says solemnly, finally taking his eyes off my scar to look at me. His eyes were full of worry, as tears welled up in them.

My world stopped as I took in what he said. I knew the reason Eris wounded me was to ensure I wouldn't have his child, but it had never occurred to me that it would prevent me from having any children. Prevent me from having Cassian’s children.

A wave of grief washes over me for what could’ve been, and then it’s followed by guilt. Cassian had already sacrificed so much for me, for us, for this court. And now I couldn’t give him the one thing the fae prayed and begged the Mother for, a child. I had been a terrible mate all these months. Not knowing about the bond, marrying another male, letting that male put his hands on me. All things I could never atone for.

What god did Cassian offend to end up cursed with me as his mate?

“There’s still time,” I breathed, eyes cast down to where he held my hands just above the water.

“Time for what my love?” the general’s eyebrows furrowed at my anomalous response.

“For you to reject the bond. We haven’t truly accepted it yet and I understand if this isn’t what you want anymore. I know how badly you wanted children and if I can’t-”

“No,” he answered resolutely, pulling me closer to him pressing his forehead against mine. “This changes nothing. I don’t need children to be happy, I just need you.”

“Then maybe you can seek out a surrogate and then-” I ramble but he cuts me off again.

“Don’t even finish that sentence. I would rather die than lie with another woman,” he said with a strong tone. “A life with you…That is what I want more than anything. More than children, more than armies. I have loved you for so long and now you are mine, and I am yours. Anything else is inconsequential.”

He pauses and leans over the edge of the bathtub grabbing his pants. I can’t help but furrow my brows as he fishes around in one of his pockets until he pulls out something small that I can’t see and holds it tightly in his hand.

“I made up my mind from the moment you asked me to kiss you all those weeks ago that you would be mine until the end of all days. If you recall, I even told you so.” he starts.

“Now I’m never letting you go”

The words replay in my head as he opens his hand revealing a brass ring. The thing looked so small in his large hand. It was beaten and weathered. No doubt having seen years of life and love.

“This was my mothers,” he states, holding up the ring. “It’s the only thing I have left of hers, given to me by someone in her village who managed to save it. As you know I’m a bastard, so it’s not a wedding ring. But I remember her wearing it all the time.” his lips tug up in a small smile as if remembering his mother.

There is a sadness in his eyes as he stares down at the little ring. But as I see the wheels in his head churning, recalling his mothers face, his eyes lighten and he continues.

“I always knew that I would give it to my mate, if the cauldron ever blessed me with one. I never once thought I would be mated to the princess. It feels stupid asking you to marry me with this, but I didn’t carry this thing around all these years for nothing.” he chuckles looking into my eyes. “Y/n I love you. I always have. I don’t just want you as my best friend or my partner or even just as my mate. I want you as my wife. I know this ring isn’t befitting of a princess or The Jewel of Prythian, but will you marry me?”

I can’t help but let out a small laugh and press a kiss to his cheek, “Of course I will Cass, how could you ever think I would say no?”

“I just had to ask,” he chuckles into my lips.

I look down to see him sliding the circlet of brass around my left ring finger and to my surprise it fits like a glove. As if it was destined to sit there for the rest of its days.

“We can get you another one, something more befitting of a princess.” he smiles, pressing a kiss to the band.

“No, I don't want another one. I want this one.” I assure him laying my front down on his chest.

“Whatever makes you happy my love,” he hums, running a hand through my wet hair.

We lay in the newly engaged bliss for a long time. Until the bathwater runs cold and our fingers and toes wrinkle. But it isn’t long enough, we could’ve spent hours more in that bath and it still wouldn’t be enough. No amount of time ever would be.

The next day I woke up to Cassian’s side of the bed cold. No doubt he had finally started training again, something I’m sure Azriel had been pestering him about. Ever since I had gotten back he hadn’t left my side once, and that included training. I joked with him that he was going to lose his rippling abs but he always laughed it off and said I was more important. I wasn’t upset that he had gone to training, if anything it made me feel lighter. It made me feel like things were going back to normal.

I was sitting in the library reading when he finally waltzed in, covered in sweat with his hair tied at the nape of his neck. The sight had me wondering when his little sex ban would end.

“How was training?” I ask setting down the book I was reading and stand to greet him.

“Az kicked my ass, apparently a couple days out officially puts me out of practice,” he smiles, bending down to kiss me.

“You’re stinky,” I laughed, twisting my face at him.

“You like it and you know it,” he teases, grabbing me by the waist to plant another kiss on my lips.

I cursed at the feral part of me that liked seeing him sweaty and dirty, “Yeah, yeah, yeah so maybe I like it,” I smiled, pulling him down by the nape of the neck for another kiss.

His hands pulled my waist so I was closer to him and my arms naturally looped around his neck. I was consumed by the feeling of him. His strong arms around me, his lips all over mine, his scent at its purest form. It was enough to drive me absolutely mad. I pulled him in closer with a groan as I parted my mouth for him.

“Ah ah ah,” he tutted, breaking the kiss. “You’re not healed yet.”

“Ugh Cass!” I bemoan throwing my head back in a mini tantrum.

“You’re still a little sore, I can see it when you walk,” he laughs, kissing my temple. “Just a few more days my love.”

“If you don’t want me anymore you can just say it,” I tease, turning my head to the side so that I’m staring at the wall.

His hand finds my chin and turns it so I’m facing him again. I make sure to don my most irritated face, one that makes his lips turn up in a smirk. I wish I could kiss it right off his face.

“Oh believe me baby I want you plenty,” he smirks. “In a perfect world I would fuck you over the arm of that couch until the only word that you know how to say is my name.”

My breath hitches and my toes curl at the image of him taking me that way. I knew he meant every word. Words I would hold him to once I was finished. I wanted him in every way possible. The kitchen floor, the bathroom counter, the dining room table. Anywhere he would take me.

As if he can scent my arousal he leans in to place a sweet kiss upon my lips. But when I close my eyes I fall into dead air. I open my eyes to see him staring off into the distance, a concerned look on his face.

“What? What is it?” I ask knowing that something is going wrong.

“Eris is here,” he says assuredly and I realize that my brother had been contacting him via daemati.

Cassian drops his hands from my waist and walks towards the doorway, picking up the swords he discarded against the wall. A male with a clear goal in sight.

“Wait, I want to come too!” I shout at him, following him down the hall.

He stops in his tracks turning to meet my gaze, “Absolutely not, I don’t want him anywhere near you.” he fusses strapping his swords and daggers in tightly.

“Cass please I’m not afraid of him. This obviously concerns me, I want to be there,” I plead with him.

Cassian’s jaw twinges and he looks out the window to my right, as if he is contemplating what he wants to do. Things that might happen, things that could go wrong. I see his eyes dart around slightly as if he’s watching all possible outcomes.

“Fine,” he states, though I can tell it’s not truly what he wants. “But you have to know that if he even comes close to you I will fucking kill him y/n. I will slit his fucking throat right then and there. Can you live with that?” he asks me in earnest.

“Yes,” I nod.

In reality my answer is no. The last thing I need is for a war between Night and Autumn just because Cassian killed their heir. I hated the male just as much as Cassian did, maybe even more, but I wouldn’t allow this to happen, which might be the real reason I wanted to attend.

The flight to the house in The Court of Nightmares was short. One Cassian had clearly flown a thousand times. Growing up I was never allowed to go there, my father claiming it was too dangerous for me. One night curiosity got the best of me and I asked Rhys to take me and he declined. It was at that moment I lost all desire to set foot in the city.

As Cassian and I stepped foot into my family's house there I couldn’t help but shudder. No wonder I had never been allowed here. It was all wrong, nothing like Velaris. Suddenly all the stories other courts whispered about the Night Court added up.

When we arrived at the throne room we entered through the back. Standing by Rhysand who was sitting atop the throne he had been born to inherit. Eris is standing before him just a few yards away. Both of them clearly lost in a heated discussion.

We stood aside Rhys, Cassian’s arm wrapping protectively around me as his other hand hovered over the hilt of his sword. Eris’ eyes flickered over to me, then to Cassain and then back to Rhys.

“You hold no claim over my sister, not after what you’ve done. You’re lucky I haven’t melted your mind where you stand,” Rhysand’s voice boomed.

It was the first thing I heard when I walked in, and it made a chill run down my spine. I had never heard my brother this way. I knew Rhys often put on a front for other courts but I had never seen it. As if he was too afraid to show it to me.

“She’s my fucking wife. You can’t keep my wife from me Rhysand; it goes against the laws of every court in Prythian.” Eris growls back. “Come on pet it’s time to return home.” he says, holding a hand out to me. Had he forgotten the events that led me here in the first place?

I step closer into Cassain’s frame, my hand curling into one of the straps on his fighting leathers. As if he can sense my fear, his body tenses and he pulls me tighter to him.

“Take one more fucking step towards her Eris and I will spill your guts on this floor,” Cassian growls and even I’m scared of the tone he uses. Unlike the Autumn Court, Cassian has the upper hand here, and I’m deeply terrified he will use it. While he may be The Lord of Bloodshed, Eris is the son of a High Lord.

“She is my wife, and I hold full authority over her,” Eris seethes, the fire in his eyes returning.

“You hold no claim over me,” I said. “You never did. By the laws of your court our marriage is null and void. Now I belong to my mate, who loves me.”

“You once told me you loved me,” Eris says smugly.

My mind races back to our wedding night. I swore I would never let him hear the words pass my lips. But the pain, it was too much. He told me he would stop if I would just say those three little words, and in a moment of desperation I caved to his wishes. My body too worse for wear to take much more.

Cassian’s body twinges next to me clearly taken back by Eris’ words.

“That’s because you beat me into submission until I did. That’s not love. I gave Cassian my love freely, before he ever touched me. Before I knew he was my mate.” I say firmly, my gaze unyielding at the Autumn Court heir.

Eris simply rolled his eyes, “To hell with the laws of my court, I had it written today that impure females can still wed noblemen. I want The Jewel and I shall have her,” he smirks looking me up and down.

Before I can even retort, Rhysand speaks up, “and I had it written the moment she was found that in my court, mates can’t be separated without consent,” my brother says smoothly. “Sister, would you like to go with Eris?” he asked me.

“No I would not,” I say firmly. “You wouldn’t benefit much from me anyways. The healers say I may never bear children now.”

“What a shame, now you’re just spoiled fucking goods,” Eris lips twist in a self satisfied sneer. “At least one good thing came out of that nail to your womb. You won’t be making any bastard children.”

Before I can even start to bring him down to earth Cassian is launching himself at Eris. A frenzy of swords, flame and raw power from Cassian’s siphons barrel around the room. I can’t help but gawk and run to my brother's side as Cassian unleashes his fury upon Eris. Most of Eris’ moves are on the defense, as Cassian never lets him have a moment to strike.

“Rhys stop this!” I say clutching my brother's arm.

Rhys simply smirks, crossing an ankle over his knee clearly amused, “No I’m actually enjoying this,” he smirks leaning into the arm of the throne as the sounds of metal on metal ring through the room.

I look up to see Cassian hovering over Eris, a sword held to his throat as Eris uses every ounce of power he has to keep the general from piercing his throat.

“Did I get under your skin, dog?” Eris taunts, trying to catch Cassian off guard enough that he can get the upper hand. “Did I tell you how she screamed as I took her?” he grins.

Cassian falters just long enough for Eris to get out from underneath him. Eris’ hands are ablaze as he tries to burn through Cassain’s leathers, but the general has him on his back before he gets the chance. His hazel eyes ravenous as he lifts a sword to cleave Eris’ head. I realize that this is truly the Lord of Bloodshed standing before me, and now I know why he had been given the title.

“Rhys!” I cry out hoping he can end the carnage.

“Fine, fine,” he assures me standing from his seat. “ENOUGH!” the High Lord bellows, his power pulling the fighting males apart. “My word is final. Eris, go home while I’ll still allow it.” Rhys finishes sitting back in his chair with a swagger I wish I could recreate for myself.

Cassain comes running over to me, not a scratch on him as Eris limps out the doors behind him.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” I fuss surveying the burn marks in his leathers from Eris’ hands. Thankfully none of them burnt all the way through.

“I’m fine baby,” he beams down at me, trying to mask the anger he feels for letting Eris walk out of here alive.

“By the mother can the both of you get a room?” Rhys chastised, standing from the throne.

“You’re going to have to get used to it brother,” Cassian laughs, wrapping his arms around me.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rhys dismisses us. “Go home, both of you, before I lose my lunch,” he jokes, stepping down from the dais, moving towards the door Cassian and I entered through.

Cassian and I enter his room, this time at the House of Wind. Both of us had decided that Rhys needed to learn to take the new dynamic in doses. The Illyrian rid himself of his leathers, his body practically vibrating with anger, desire, sadness? I couldn’t quite tell.

“Cass, are you okay?” I ask laying a hand on his now bare shoulder. My voice is small and timid worrying what I might awaken in him.

“Yes my love I’m fine,” he says, taking my hand and pressing a kiss to my open palm. “Just left over adrenaline inside of me, that’s all.”

My thoughts wander to the sight of him nearly taking Eris’ life. In the moment I was scared he would get hurt, but looking back now? I hated to admit how it made my heart race and my thighs clench. I had never needed him more than I did now.

“I can think of a few ways to dispel that adrenaline,” I smirk, leaning in to kiss him but he stops me.

“No stop, I won’t hurt you y/n,” he groans, pushing me away.

I felt something in me snap, something breaking. “Cassian please,” I beg and his eyes meet mine. “Please, I'm begging you to touch me. I am whole, I am well. I just want my mate. I can’t bear it any longer.” I plead with him, tears welling in my eyes.

He moves swiftly, his frame towering over me as he comusnes my mouth as if he’s consuming my soul. I feel the need in him sink into my very skin as he takes me in his arms. I nearly whimper at the way he kisses me so thoroughly.

“If I hurt you, tell me right away. Okay?” he says between kisses, his hands roaming up and down my sides.

I can only nod my head in agreement before his lips are on mine again. Every touch of his hands on my body is so all consuming, yet never enough. The male could be melded to my skin and it still wouldn’t be enough.

I feel my thighs hit the back of a rogue desk and suddenly I’m being hauled up until my bum sits on the cold surface. My hands wander up and down Cassian’s chest, committing every muscle to memory once more. His own hands wander around my back until I hear a deafening rip ricochet off the walls. My dress being torn in half and discarded on the floor.

“Cassian,” I breathed as the cold air hit the bare skin of my breasts.

I was happy to see that his little sex ban had affected him as much as it did me. His hands and mouth were feral on me, no doubt from the adrenaline. His hand tugged my head back by my hair giving himself full access to my neck. The open mouthed kisses he left all over me drove me wild. But I didn’t stop the general on his mission to worship every part of me.

His lips wandered over every ghost of a bruise Eris had left on me.

“You are loved, you are safe, you are mine,” he whispered before consuming my mouth once more.

My hands flew to the leathers of his pants, ripping them open seamlessly. His cock sprung free, hard and ready for me. But once again he stopped me.

“I mean it princess. You feel pain at any time and we’re done.” he says pressing his forehead to mine.

“Shut up and fuck me general,” I grit bucking my core towards him.

“Is that an order princess?” He teased, kissing my temple.

“Yes it is,” I groan. “If you don’t I’ll throw you in the dungeons.” I tease running my hands down his chest.

“Well then, as my princess commands.” He smirks, sinking himself into me.

If he didn’t have me seated on his desk my knees would’ve buckled. The feeling of him inside me was so overwhelming, so amazing. I found myself crying out in pleasure from the fullness.

“Good girl,” he smiles before thrusting in once more.

My eyes already see stars as he sets a steady pace. One not nearly as hard as he did at the ball, clearly not wanting to hurt me. Nonetheless, the pace he set felt amazing.

“Oh Cass,” I moaned, my nails raking across his back.

“Did I tell you how I missed this?” he groaned, thrusting into me deeper. “How badly I missed being inside you?”

His words had me going limp in his arms. My mouth leaving sweet kisses on his neck to encourage him to keep fucking me. I run my hands all over his body, wanting to feel all of him. This man, this glorious, brave and strong man was my mate. For the first time since realizing it, it had begun to truly sink in. This was our first time together now that both of us knew, and I could practically feel the bond between us screaming to be consummated.

“Mine,” I breathed into his ear as he hit me particularly deep. “My mate.”

His hand came back to cup the base of my neck so that I was craning up to meet his stare. The fanning of his breath on my cheek as he fucked me languidly.

“All yours baby, forever.” he smirked, leaning down to kiss me.

Large hands cupped my bottom and I felt myself being carried towards the bed. He set me down in a way that made it so he never had to pull out of me, and I was thankful for the gesture. I didn’t want to be separated from him for a single moment.

He resumed his relaxed place, one that had me feeling every inch of him. There would be time for fucking in the future, but for now I just wanted him to make love to me, and by the cauldron did he.

I felt my legs start to shake and tremble as he continuously hit the part of me that always had me falling apart. My hands threaded through his hair as I heard his moans and grunts in my ear, only making my stomach flutter even more. The damn inside of me getting ready to burst.

“Cass I’m going to,” I shudder, raking my hands down his back, an action that spurs him on.

“I’m close too y/n, just hold on for me,” he grunts fucking into me harder.

In my efforts to hold off on my release in order to wait for him I feel myself clench around his length, his hips stuttering as he tries to keep his pace.

“Oh shit baby you keep doing that I’m gonna-”

“Cass please,” I cry, nearly arching my back so I can feel more of his skin on mine.

“Fuck, cum with me,” Cassian groans.

The ragged deepness of his voice has me seeing stars as my own release washes over me. He continues rutting into me as he buries his head in my neck, breathing in my scent. Both of us are panting as I run my hands through his hair some more, calming us both down.

“My beautiful, smart, amazing, sexy mate,” he says, kissing my neck with each phrase.

He rolls over so he doesn’t crush me under his weight, and his arms pull me up to rest on his chest like always. The skin under my cheek is covered in a thin sheen of sweat as I hear his heartbeat beginning to calm down. I can’t stop myself from propping my chin up on his chest and placing sweet kisses all over him. From his abs to his chest, to his shoulders, and his neck.

“If this is us now how bad are we going to be after we accept the bond?” Cassian chuckles, pushing my hair out of my face so that he can see me.

“I don’t know, but I don’t want to wait any longer to accept it,” I say, pressing a kiss to the center of his chest. “Not after today, with Eris. Who knows what kind of crazy strings he would pull to take me back and have me be his lap pet. If we’re officially mated Rhys’ laws will hold true.”

“Trust me, Eris would sooner have his head on a pike than have his hands on you again,” Cassian laughs lightly.

“I’d rather not have it come to that. If you were on the other end of Beron’s wrath for killing his heir we couldn’t do this as often,” I smirk, placing a kiss on his neck.

“You have me there princess,” Cassian laughs, pulling my bare body impossibly closer to his.

“By the end of the week?” I ask boldly.

“What?” he says, caught off guard.

“I want to be mated by the end of the week, I want to call you my husband,” I smile, bringing my left hand with the engagement ring up to cup his face. “Unless you think it’s too soon?” I ask worried I might be pushing him too far.

“Too soon? I’ve been wanting to make you my wife for over 50 years y/n. I’d marry you right now if you wanted me to,” he rambles and I can’t help but giggle.

“While I love the sound of that I would like a dress, and maybe a ring for you as well.” I say brushing a hair out of his face.

“I suppose I’ve waited this long,” he laughs, pulling me over so I’m lying directly on top of his chest. “By the end of the week it is.” he beams, sealing the promise with a kiss.

Hey I’ve been having some problems with tagging so lmk if you get this or if you saw it but didn’t get the notif!!

Taglist: @crystalferret202 , @nickishadow139 , @graceshifts , @writeroutoftime , @heyyitsnat21 , @stinkinstuffie , @lilah-asteria , @12358 , @fxckmiup , @daughterofthemoons-stuff , @mybestfriendmademe , @anxious-study , @bxm-1012 , @mal-adaptive-dreams , @sh4nn , @talesofadragon , @5onedirection5 , @saltedcoffeescotch , @flourelle

Permanent Taglist: @fides25, @dissociated-always

151 notes · View notes

ravencoloredroses · 1 year

Text

Jealousy

Azriel x Reader

Summary: Reader is tired of pinning after Az when he’s fallen for 3 different girls and none of them are her.

Warnings: Swearing, sexual talk

Word Count: 1,658

A/N: This one is based on this ask! Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!!

———————————————————————————

I’ve known the Inner Circle of the Night Court for centuries, some think of me as an honorary member. Mor and I grew up together, I’ve known her my whole life. When she finally invited me to Velaris, I met him. Azriel, a.k.a the spymaster, and Mother, was he perfect. The only problem was he was hopelessly in love with my best friend.

As the years went on I fell hopelessly in love with him. I would cherish every moment we spent together. I thought he was starting to get over Mor, and that maybe he could be interested in me. But then the Archeron sisters showed up.

Watching Rhys and Cassian fall for their mates was amazing to watch. Feyre and Nesta were perfect matches for them. I could tell Elain liked Az, I mean who wouldn’t. What was hard was watching him fall for her.

Everyday was torture. I knew Az would never like me the way I like him, but it was still hard.

Now with Mor and Elain out of the picture, Gwyn has waltzed in. The problem with that was that she is so damn nice, I can’t hate her no matter how hard I try. She would be perfect for him and it’s obvious she thinks so too.

As we sit down for family dinner, I leave a seat open next to me for Az to sit. Of course he doesn’t, he chooses to sit next to Gwyn who gives him googly eyes every time he walks by.

Mor ends up sitting next to me and gives me a sad smile. I told her years ago about my feelings for Azriel. She tried to convince me to confess to him, but I didn’t want to ruin what friendship we had left.

Az and I used to train with each other every morning. After the war, I thought that would continue, but now he trains with Gwyn. He hardly talks to me anymore, barely looks at me.

I try my best to concentrate on eating, but I hear giggles coming from Gwyn. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Az giggles back. He actually giggles at her.

I stab my fork into my steak a little too hard, causing the whole table to look up at me, including him.

“Y/N? Is everything alright?” Rhys asks me.

I clear my throat and look down at my plate. “Yeah, everything’s wonderful.” I spit out. Now I remember I’m not hungry, so I stand up and head up to my room.

When I walk past Azriel, I see him trying to get my attention but I keep on walking.

Laying down on my bed, I hear a soft knock on my door.

“Y/N? Can I come in?” Mor asks quietly. When I don’t respond she slowly opens the door. “Wanna go out to Rita’s?”

“What?” I ask, dumbfounded. “How is Rita's your solution to everything?”

She laughs as she sits down next to me. “Because it works. Now come on Missy. Let’s go find you a one night stand.”

I look up at her with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

“You heard me!” She pulls me up and walks me over to my closet. “You need to clear your mind for a night. Let loose. Oh! This dress is perfect!” She turns to me holding up a skimpy black dress.

“Mor…. I can’t wear that.”

“Sure you can! You just have to unzip the back, then step into it, put your arms through the holes and then boom! You’re wearing it!” She laughs and hands me the dress. “I’ll leave you to change. Meet me in my room so I can do your makeup!” She yells over her shoulder before shutting the door. Great looks like I’m going to Rita’s.

When I look at myself in Mor’s mirror, I almost can’t recognize myself. “Woah. I look….”

“I believe the word you are looking for is hot. You look hot!” Mor did my makeup perfectly, nothing too crazy, just enough to bring out my features. The dress she picked out is a perfect fit. It hugs all my curves beautifully and shows just the right amount of cleavage. It also has an open back and ends just above my knees.

“Alright!! Let’s go have some fun!” Mor grabs ahold of my hand before winnowing us over to Rita’s.

It’s not as packed as I thought it was going to be, but it’s still really busy. “What about that guy over there?” Mor yells over the loud music. She’s been pointing out potential hookups since we got here. This one she’s pointing to is already looking over at us. “OMG he’s coming over to you! Act cool.”

“Hello ladies. You look like you could use a dancing partner.” The male says to me, holding his hand out. I look over to Mor and see that she’s already gone, of course she is..

I turn back to my new dance partner and grab onto his hand as he pulls me to the dance floor. I’m trying not to focus on how low his hand is as we sway to the music.

“What’s your name?” He asks as a slower song starts to play.

“Y/N. What’s yours?”

“Nikolas.” He responds, I place my hands around his neck as we lean into each other a bit more. “Well Y/N, how about we get out of here, head back to my place?”

“I’d like that.” I look up and give him a smile. He takes one of my hands and leads me towards the door, and I look around to find Mor. I finally find her by the bar and she gives me a wink before turning back to her drink.

As we step outside, I shiver a little bit because of the cold. Nikolas takes off his jacket and places it around my shoulders, leaving his hand there as well. “Have I told you how beautiful you are?” He asks.

I look up at him and he leans down and kisses me. For a second I just stand there, but then I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck. I begin playing with his hair as he lifts me up so I can wrap my legs around his waist.

“Nikolas,” I say when we break for a breath. “I’m on a tonic.”

“Me too.” He replies. We go back to kissing and then I feel a gust of wind behind me. Nikolas lets go of my legs and I drop to the ground.

“What the fuck?” I hear Nikolas yell at someone. I look up and see Azriel pushing Nikolas up against a wall. Shadows are wrapped too tight around his neck. I can see his face turning purple.

“You do not touch her, do not look at her, do not even think about her. Got it?” Az grits his teeth. “She is mine. And if I ever see you near her again, I will gut you out and wrap your intestines around a flagpole.” Az finishes as he pushes Nikolas down on the ground. He gets up quickly and runs away.

“Az, what the fuck?” I yell out. He turns to face me and I can see that he is still fuming. “What the hell do you mean I’m yours?” I ask when I finally comprehend what he just said.

His eyes soften as he starts to walk closer. “I- I love you Y/N. I have for a while.” He whispers.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” I ask, taking a step back. “You- you love me? But- But what about Gwyn?”

“What about Gwyn?” He counters. “It’s you that I want, it’s always been you.” He closes the distance between us and moves a piece of my hair behind my ear. “Cassian told me everything.”

“Cassian? But….. Mor must have told him.” I look down in embarrassment. He lifts my head up with a finger under my chin.

“I’m sorry I’ve been too stupid to notice. I thought that since you are best friends with Mor, that you wouldn’t like me for pinning after her.” He confesses. “I wanted to tell you how I felt before the war, but then everything happened and the timing was never right.”

“So you’re not dating Gwyn?”

“No! I never dated Gwyn. She’s a nice female, but she’s just a friend.”

“And Elain?”

He sighs. “I thought I liked Elain, but I figured out I just liked the fact that she liked me. I like you Y/N, I choose you. If you’ll have me.” He cups my cheek.

“Azriel, of course I’ll have you. I’ve loved you since the day I met you.” He wipes away one of my tears.

“Why are you crying then?”

“Because,” I sniffle. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“It’s happening.” He leans in closer. “Y/N? Can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

His lips feel even better than I’ve ever imagined they would. It’s like we were molded for each other. The kiss is saying everything we can’t with words. I feel his love for me and I can tell he feels mine back.

When we break away for air, he leans his forehead on mine. I jump when someone behind us suddenly starts clapping. Az holds me close as we look over to our audience.

“That was the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen in my entire existence.” Cassian fake cries. “And to think, it’s all because of me!”

Rhys grabs a box of tissues out of thin air and hands it over to Cas. “Here brother, you look like you need these.” He laughs. Cassian takes one from the box and loudly blows his nose. I laugh and look back up to Az. He looks down at me, also laughing.

“Well, my love, would you like to go home?”

“Yes, please.”

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #azriel #cassian #feyre #mor #nesta #rhys #Rhysand #Elain #Gwyn #shadowsinger #shadowsinger x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader

342 notes · View notes

asoulwithadream · 1 year

Text

EXCLUSIVE FALL PREVIEWS

Mates. LADS. BRETHEREN.

I think I'm going to die now. AAAAAAAAAAAAH—

BUT OF COURSE WHAT WOULD BE THE SENSE OF MY EXISTENCE IF I DIDN'T SHARE MY OWN PERSONAL THOUGHTS ON THESE BEAUTIFUL THINGS BEFORE THE MEDICINE KICKS IN.

The Crew — I think this is where they see LUCIUS!!!! I'm so very convinced this is where they meet Lucius. As we can see, they're all in the same clothing as the Vanity Fair first looks, where Black Pete is visibly overjoyed. But can't you see that he is missing from this shot? Probably snogging Lucius' face off or hugging him or doing something as such.

Lucius probably popped around the corner in the Vanity Fair one, and now they're sharing an intimate moment (keeping it PG) on deck while the rest of the happy crew watches on (as visible from Roach's, Oluwande's, and Wee John's faces). Of course, Buttons has no interest in human adoration, and instead looks on towards his own lover, the sea.

Stede is looking quite perplexed, or maybe contemplatively—perhaps as a result of Lucius telling Stede what happened to him. He doesn't look directly all that happy, does he?

(OMG OMG OMG WHY DO THEY ALL LOOK SO HAPPY EXCEPT STEDE BUT OLU YOU DEAREST MAN AND THEY'RE LOOKING SNAZZY AND I LOVE THEIR SOCKS I'M AHHAHASIJDHKAE)

Stede — That's the floor of the Revenge guys. I know it well since the last time Stede was pushed onto it. (Solidarity for the harm that the foot touch caused in these trying times) He is wearing what looks to be ye olde fencing gloves, and this means that was just handling a sword. (Though, he could have been using the cannons; we all know Stede would probably confuse fencing gloves for heavy artillery)

There are a few scenarios I can find at the top of my head: he's either training with Izzy (though would that explain his terrified expression? maybe)—we also see the lack of the red ribbon, which I think he removed when he teams up with Izzy, for whatever reason—or he's been duelling with someone else, someone who is extremely better at swordsmanship, someone we know to have been excellent at both maiming and receiving stab wounds. Has he been fighting with Edward?

I think it's the former, but who knows? The best part of theorising is being wrong, after all. I guess we can just gang up and say "calm down mr wavey blade" to whoever is behind this. Plus, do I see traced of some fuzz on his chin? Confirmed baby steard, guys???

(He's such an ICON I WANT TO BREATHE HIS HAIR AND SEE IT BEHIND MY EYELIDS. In the wise words of Rhys Darby, "I wish I had his hair". BUT LIKE HONESTLY WHAT'S GOING ON HERE WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE HE'S SEEN A GHOST)

Frenchie and Ed — This has me on actual alarm bells mode. I can't tell whether or not this is Blackbeard or post-Blackbeard era—he's not wearing any dark chunky make-up, and has his hair up in his classic, beautiful half-up half-down, and we finally get a more close-up and clear shot of his earring, which we first spotted from the Vanity Fair first looks?

A detail I spotted for Frenchie's new goth uniform, which he is still wearing in this shot (further confusing me on the timeline of this image)—I think that his jacket is the very same from the "The Best Revenge Is Dressing Well" episode, which is so incredibly sweet and a beautiful little detail to connect back to season 1. I'd like to think he customised it himself, since we know Frenchie can "sew like the wind."

That's also still the Revenge, in fact the very spot where Lucius was about to get his finger cut off in "The Art of F**kery". But what intent Ed has with this confrontation with Frenchie, who seemingly looks like perhaps he wasn't even doing anything wrong, escapes the depth of my theoretical mind. What contributes even less to this is that Ed is smiling? Rather maniacal, might I add.

(WHAT. THE. FUCK. help me why is this happening. I LIKE AM SO ANGRY AND SO HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME THAT I CAN'T FIGURE ANYTHING OUT FROM THIS PICTURE. NOT EVEN WHAT STAGE OF GRIEF ED IS IN. HELP ME)

Edward — That chair looks like it's from Stede's room, from one of the desk-like tables in the corner next to his bed, and perhaps even the only chair which Ed kept in the room after his rather ill-tasted renovations. What's he doing there without his make-up on? Perhaps this is still during the early stages of new Blackbeard, and he's just in the transit period between washing and re-application.

BUT, if we look at the background, does that look like the Revenge? Not really... There is what seems like a fireplace or some sort of stone plate in the background, with a painting on it with a man on the left side of the composition, who seemingly looks to have lighter coloured hair. So what I may be thinking, is that Edward is visiting MARY ALLAMBY! The painting in the background may be the one from Stede and Mary's wedding, and Mary might have kept it as memorabilia in ode of her now good friend. (Stede is on the left in that painting). Plus, where else would Stede get his furniture and taste for his bedroom than his own former house, which Mary currently lives at?

Even though I think David Jenkins said that Mary wouldn't be present in the season, do I believe him? No. I think I have the right for me to be delusional without external interference at this point.

(Please let me be right please let me be right I NEED A MARY / ED INTERACTION AT SOME POINT TO HEAL MY HEART. I need Mary to realise that fucking Blackbeard is the Ed that Stede was talking about, I NEED ED TO THINK THAT STEDE DIED, FOR EVEN A MOMENT. I think my brain has stopped receiving oxygen.)

Send hopes and prayers

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 speculation #ofmd s2 theories #ofmd fall previews #ofmd teaser #ofmd vanity fair #edward teach #ed teach #blackbeard #stede bonnet #crew of the revenge #lucius spriggs #mary allamby bonnet #rhys darby #taika waititi #david jenkins #i need desperate help and assistance in these trying times #how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions

154 notes · View notes

acourtofthought · 4 months

Note

I usually ignore accounts like yours (people who dedicate years to posting anti content), but your whole Truth-Teller argument is posted in such bad faith. You’re so clearly trying to twist the canon of what happened in ACOWAR to make it seem less significant by claiming that Azriel only gave TT to Elain because of Mor (which is a GIANT reach).

Here are the facts:

1. Mor begged Azriel not to fight, sure. But Azriel could have kept TT to himself, as he always has for CENTURIES. He didn’t have to offer up his weapon.

2. Azriel could have given TT to ANYONE. He could have given it to Rhys, or Cassian, or Mor (and all of those options would have made sense, given that they’re warriors). But he didn’t. He gave it to Elain.

3. The scene was significant enough that it’s symbolised on the ACOWAR cover, and has a dedicated page in the ACOTAR colouring book.

4. SJM could have written a scene in ACOWAR where Lucien offers Elain something of his instead (or even just anything romantic between the two). But he was too busy rescuing Vassa 🤷🏼‍♀️

Then there’s this comment you made, and it’s just laughable: “Did Elain seem to care about Az never having given anyone TT? Did she seem to appreciate this oh so rare and special occurrence? Or did she walk away without looking back?”

Elain never once appreciated Lucien’s gifts - they literally soured her mood. Elain has turned cold at most of Lucien’s advances and loses her newfound boldness around him. Elain was about to make out with the hottest dude in Prythian without a single care that Lucien was in the same house.

But sure, Elain handing back TT is so awful and so unromantic……

At the end of the day, SJM has very clearly set up BOTH Elriel and Elucien. There is substantial evidence and foreshadowing for both. But you don’t get to erase that evidence and foreshadowing just because you don’t personally like it.

Well, you can try, but you look very silly doing it.

Hottest dude in Prythian? Has anyone outside the NC ever called Az hot in canon? NOPE

SJM did set up E/riel! She set them up to be a rebound. Hers after Graysen and his first step towards the idea of letting go of Mor. I have never once claimed that there was not evidence of something happening between them, I simply pointed out the red flags in their pairing. Just like we saw the romantic setup for Tamlin and Feyre yet they were not meant to be endgame.

If you want to know what a real romantic setup looks like I suggest you check out the TOG series. Celaena still didn't end up with one of the love interests but their romance was written beautifully and not once did the MMC ever think "he hadn't gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to."

Awwww.....it's really cute you're putting so much weight on E/riel because of a coloring book as if that means something for endgame pairings. If I recall, there was also a scene of Feyre in her wedding dress...the one she wore to her wedding with TAMLIN.

Also, it's not symbolized on the cover of ACOWAR. The cover does not feature a hunting knife which TT is. The cover of ACOWAR features a pretty dainty dagger. Can you imagine Az wielding that around? It looks like a toothpick.

The scene is meaningful because of what Elain went on to do with the knife. Her stabbing the king is iconic. Az giving it to her is really not. Not when he only gave it to her because of Mor and not when it was Cassian who first had the thought of trying to give Elain a weapon. Not when he never gave her credit for stabbing the king. Not when she returned it and never looked back. And you're right, Az never gave it to anyone else because they were all warriors with their own weapons and he fought beside them. Why would he part with TT when he was in battle? When has he ever sat out of battle where an unarmed female was in need of a weapon to defend herself? Had she taken Cassian's Az would have never suggested TT and had Feyre not assured her she wouldn't have to use it she might have also never taken it. Might I introduce you to my favorite word "logic" because it will help you to understand why things came together the way they did and made it possible for Az to be in a place to even considering lending it out and it had nothing to do with his love for Elain. Not when he went on to look at Mor with heat and yearning months later.

Elain doesn't appreciate Lucien's gifts? So weird because I'm sure those words never once came out of her mouth and she still has them. We can't say that about Az's one gift to her though, can we? I wonder what Gwyn thought when Clotho gave it to her. I wonder if her eyes did truly light up just as Az imagined they would.

Elain loses her newfound boldness around Lucien? JUST Lucien? What exactly would you call her whispering "I'm sorry" after Az rejected her? What would you call it when she looked away from Az's smile in the book which left Cassian puzzled or her hands shaking when she handed him his gift? So very bold of her!

And Papa Archeron actually rescued Vassa considering HE is the one who bargained for her freedom. Lucien might have been with him at the lake but it's not Lucien who freed her. Also, are you honestly romanticizing Vassa's kidnapping? Thinking Lucien "I'm a mated male now and had no interest in female company" was thinking about romance while on his way to a war? Who is twisting canon again? And you're right, Lucien didn't offer Elain anything during battle because he was out risking his life for her vision, something Az didn't really care about after his big declaration that they needed a Seer.

I hope that you enjoyed your time deviating from your norm of ignoring Anti accounts such as mine (probably a lie anyway). I'm sorry to say that your words have had absolutely no effect on my opinion so from my end it seems like a waste of time but you do you.

You want to sit there and criticize my blog for having anti posts yet you're out here starting trouble so I create more. Make that make sense.

#anti e/riel

45 notes · View notes

readychilledwine · 1 year

Text

Cassian Week Day 2 Prompt Gentle-

A/N: Cassian has My heart, but I rarely can write him as a love interest the way some people so amazingly can. When I think of Cassian, I think of my older brother. A kind, loving, and gentle person who, due to his larger size, was cast into this role of a dominating force, and Cassian embraced it. "Gentle" is my absolute favorite prompt from this week, and I had planned to keep this to myself, but I have so many little fics and drabbles already locked away that I wanted to make sure anyone else who sees Cassian as the safe big brother also had something to read.. So enjoy 💜

Warnings- implied injury and unedited (you know the best warning)

--------------------

Reader is the youngest Archeron sister, and after being made, has begged Rhysand to allow her to have combat training. Hand to hand doesn't go as planned, though, when Azriel gets asked to spar her so Cassian can watch and take notes on her progress.

—----------

Your back hit the training mat with a loud thud. All you could do was blink the shock from your system as Cassian ran over to your side separating you from Azriel. The loud cough and gasp you released as your body screamed for oxygen had you rolling to your side.

"What the fuck, Az?" Cassian was in shock. His voice was muffled to your ears as you tried to focus on calming the burning sensation in your lungs.

"She was doing so well, I just-" Azriel sighed at the look Cassian shot him, "I got caught up in thinking it was someone more experienced. I thought she could handle it." Azriel's own guilt hit you instantly as he watched you curl up on the ground. "Y/N, I am so sorry. I didn-"

"We haven't even begun to discuss what to do when someone is about to throw you or slam you down. She has only trained for a few weeks, Azriel." Cassian moved to you, kneeling on one knee at your side as your body continued to try to breathe through the pain in rushed pants. "Y/n, are you okay?" Cassian's rough hands braced your neck softly as he sat you up and leaned you against his thigh. "Arms above your head, baby. You knocked her breath straight out of her." Cassian moved you again, trying to stop you from decompressing your chest and stomach, "Next time, push your body weight the opposite way he is throwing, y/n. Do not let Azriel rag doll you." Azriel scoffed at the comment, kneeling down next to you on the other side and holding your hand in his.

Cassian pulled you in closer to him with a glare. He was softly rubbing his hand up and down your spine slowly to coach you into deep breaths. "Breathe sweetheart, you're okay. In through your nose, out through your mouth. There we go, just like that." Cassian smiled brightly at you as your breathing became more regular. "Rhys and Nesta are going to kill you." He looked at Azriel with a serious expression. "Ness already is upset we are forcing her to train. She might actually steal a knife and stab you."

Azriel sighed deeply. "That would get Nesta out of her room at least." They both watched as you cracked the smallest smile before leaning into Cassian more. "I think she's done for today. That will leave a nasty bruise. I'll have one of the twins go to the room to rub salve on it."

Cassian nodded in agreement. Your eyes met the upset ones of another male as Cassian began to speak again. "I'll carry you up to your room, y/n. Az, can you clean up here? I want to talk her through what she did well and wrong. Y/n, Please don't tell Rhys about this.."

"He already knows," you whispered softly before pointing to the doorway where your sister's husband stood. His hands were tucked into his pockets as he studied the scene before him. Anger graced his face as he took in your disheveled, messy braid of dark brown hair, your red face, and your soft pants from being unable to take a full breath yet. Cassian chuckled lowly while looking between Rhys and Azriel. "Be nice, Rhys. I asked. It was-"

"I told Cassian to train you," the high lord said sternly. "Strictly for this reason. Now I get to tell Feyre you were hurt tonight when we speak."

Azriel was the first to turn as Cassian gently picked you up, supporting your knees with one of his arms. "Let's go get you a bath, princess," he whispered gently into your ear. "They're about to fight and it might get ugly. Our dear Rhysie has some pent up anger that he does not want to admit to, and Azriel is always more than happy to fight him."

You nodded, arms going around his neck so you could tuck yourself further into his chest. "Why did he want you to train me?"

"I would never throw you this early. Soft gentle movements until you have more experience, more balance, better strength. Az didn't want to baby you. Rhysand and I did. Because. Well. You are the baby." His voice was soft as he reached the room you and Azriel had begun to share since being made.

He continued after opening the door. "Azriel felt that was unnecessary. That you were capable and babying you after you begged us to ensure you never felt helpless again was unfair."

"And he won because of the bond?" Cassian nodded to the question as he set you down on the bed and Sat beside you.

"We compromised. I told him I would train you with progress updates every two weeks where he was involved. That is why he was there today. To spar you while I watched to see what I needed to fix, what we could progress on. I will be talking to him, though. You were not ready for that level of hand to hand. He needs to be more gentle with my baby sister."

Cassian's hand continued rubbing up and down your back as he held you. "Your footing was wonderful. You have made so much progress in the past couple of weeks. Feyre would be proud." He smiled down at you, then switched to a serious face, "You had a few strikes we need to work on, and we need to teach you how to get out of a few holds again. You did very well, though. I am very happy with your progress."

You smiled against his chest. "It must be the good, gentle teacher."

Cassian hummed as he placed a kiss on your head and pulled you in for another warm hug. "Or the aggressive dedicated student."

#cassian acotar #cassianappreciationweek2023 #cassianxplatonic!reader #cassian x reader #day 2: gentle

289 notes · View notes

lovemyromance · 30 days

Text

Antis: Elriel can't be endgame because SJM always gaslights us and tries to make us think a couple is endgame when they're not!!

Okay... so ... is any couple safe then? Is Feysand safe? Is Nessian safe? Who's to say Rowaelin will not break up some day? Who's to say Bryce won't leave Hunt for some random character that hasn't been introduced yet in CC4?

SJM is not writing these couples for the sole purpose of trying to gaslight her readers. Not to mention - ACOTAR IS NOT TOG OR CC.

SJM has said multiple times, the spinoffs will feature dual POV and ONE couple.

Please tell me how we go from Elain ignoring Lucien, to getting with Azriel, to leaving Azriel, and falling in love and accepting the mating bond with Lucien all in one book.

Please explain how we go from Azriel pining after Elain, getting angry over Rhys forbidding him away from her, to ignoring Elain and falling for Gwyn, discovering Gwyn is his mate (lol), and accepting the mating bond with her?

Just... use your brains for once, my friends. The excuses for why Elriel can't be endgame are laughable at best, and downright misogynistic at worst. Like are you really telling me:

Elriel can't be together because his shadows don't like her and they disappear - even though his shadows disappear around the entire IC whenever he's happy or comfortable? Even though they tell him when she's safe and sound in bed and help him put the necklace on her

Elriel can't be together because Elain will always feel a tug to Lucien - yeah we know the mating bond feels like a tug, Elain has done a pretty good job of ignoring it thus far though, and it hasn't even been broken yet. It hasn't stopped her from trying to kiss Azriel in the hallway?

Elriel can't be together because SJM never pairs them with their first love interest - great! Because neither Elain or Azriel are each others first loves.

Elriel can't be together because Lucien deserves a happy ending - great! Good thing he has Vassa

Elriel can't be together because Gwyn will be sad - Gwyn could be the priestess at their wedding and she would not shed a single tear because she doesn't want Azriel and nothing she has done shows she is romantically interested in him whatsoever

Elriel can't be together because she's miserable in the NC - No she is not. And if she wants to leave, nobody is stopping her. And if I say Azriel will follow her to the ends of the earth, then?? Next.

Elriel can't be together bc she doesn't have an Illyrian pelvis - Adoption exists, ask SJM (adopted herself). Also, your misogyny is showing.

Elriel can't be together because Elain is scared of Azriel's darkness - I'm sorry, has she whispered those words only in your ears? Because nothing in canon suggests that she can't handle his darkness. She stabbed the king of Hybern - she's fine

Elriel can't be together because she is secretly pining after Lucien - brother where?? Also, she has a very interesting way of showing secret pining by getting Nawsty in the corridor with the spymaster instead of her mate

Elriel can't be together bc SJM is a fated mates author - Okay, and if I say the Elucien mating bond is fake and Azriel & Elain are true mates? Then what? Because SJM faked a mating bond with Rowan before - don't see why she couldn't do that again with Lucien & Elain to keep him away from breaking Vassa's curse. If she can do the switching up love interest plot twist this many times, she can definitely do the fake mating bond switch up too. Give me a single reason why not?

Elriel is not suited for each other but Lucien and Elain's personalities are perfect - brother where?? Again?? Because they don't even talk so how do you know they'd even get along?

Elriel can't get together because with Elucien and Gwynriel we'd get 2 stories - this is by far the stupidest excuse but I'd like to counter by saying Elriel + Vassien. There you go. Trade you one redhead for another. Now what?

Elriel can't get together because Elain needs sunlight - she said that once. When she was confused about her visions. She sat in the window once. When she was still confused about her visions.

Elriel can't get together because -

Y'all better just come right out and admit you don't like Elriel because you like Lucien better than Azriel or you like Gwyn better than Elain - because otherwise it is getting downright embarrassing reading your theories.

It's one thing to just not like a couple - that's your right and full send, nobody's stopping you.

It's another to fully claim Elriels are delusional for thinking a couple that is currently obsessed with each other is not going to be endgame. It's another thing to use out of context canon text to support your PREFERENCE. It's another thing to claim we use Elain as a self-insert because we "want Azriel smut".

Like tf? If we wanted Azriel smut we wouldn't care who he ended up with. If it were up to my personal preferences - I'd actually want Elain with Eris because I think that would be way more interesting than both Azriel AND Lucien. If I thought Elain was a self-insert for myself, I'd keep her with Lucien because Lucien book 1 is still my favorite.

So don't come around here and tell me Elriels are delusional for reading what is printed on the page.

It's not surface level reading if we look at a "Pool is 2FT deep" sign and believe it. We have NO reason to believe otherwise.

If you choose to doubt the words written on the sign -and dive in headfirst - that's your prerogative but something tells me you won't enjoy the results 🤷🏻‍♀️

#elriel #acotar #elain x azriel #elain archeron #azriel #pro elain #elain #antielucien #antigwynriel #pro elriel

21 notes · View notes

thelov3lybookworm · 1 year

Text

You Deserve Better (part one)

Summary: Althea is Rhysand's second sister who escaped Tamlins father and returned home, somehow escaping the fate of her mother and younger sister. She has healed from the wounds,mental and physical, with the help of her brother, father and the inner circle. But how would anyone help her when a spymaster breaks her heart and inflicts new wounds —mental, not physical– upon her?

(This is an eventual reader x someone else because az hurts her and we do not tolerate that here. Dont get me wrong, i love our original books azzy, but I've read a couple of fics which made me want to make azzy the ribbon and chop him into pieces. Also, i do not know why i have an obsession with the name Althea.)

•○🌑○•

Sunlight filtered through the halfway closed curtains as Althea groaned and stretched, which she was pretty sure were open last night. Snippets of last nights outing at Rita's and the things that came after were returning to her in bouts of throbbing headaches.

Partying and dancing at Rita's with her family. Gossiping and looking at males with her cousin, who was desperately trying to get Althea to pick one she liked. Althea pointing out females to Mor, who blushed and giggled like a schoolgirl. Feeling someone's heated gaze on her. Trying to find the source of it and realising it was the male that she always pined over. One of her brother's best friend. She'd looked away, and then the night had been a blurr before she and the Shadowsinger had stumbled into her room.

Shit.

It was the first time she let anyone into her bedroom after what happened with Tamlin's father, her sister and mother. Her father had been extremely relieved when he found out that she had made it out alive. He refused to leave her side and most of the people were shocked at his behaviour because he was known to be heartless. And then, after a couple weeks of helping her cope with the pain of everything, he and Rhysand went to spring to get revenge for the people they had lost. It had hurt her when only Rhys returned, but she had decided she'll get better. She'll get stronger and more confident. If not for not giving Tamlin's father, wherever he was, the satisfaction of knowing he had won and made her cower in darkness, then for her family who gave their lives for saving her.

But where was Azriel now? She was sure he had fallen asleep next to her. She felt a tiny stab of pain but it was gone the next moment as her head gave a hard throb. And as the headache momentarily subsided, she told herself it was for the best. It wouldn't have done them any good if Rhys or Cassian had found them together.And so she dragged herself to the bath and scrubbed herself raw before she was sure no one would smell Azriel on her. Then got dressed and hurried to training where she was sure cassian would give her a lot of shit for being late.She reached the top of the stairs and Cassian started rambling about how he will make her train extra as a punishment. She ignored him and started stretching.

•○🌑○•

It was Starfall.

It had been almost six months since she and Azriel had been having this little secret of theirs. They would be together whenever they could. But it always left Althea wondering. What were they? Friends? More?

So as she got ready for the celebrations, Althea made up her mind. She'd ask azriel today. As she finished readying, Mor waltzed in. "Would you look at that. Oh mother, you look amazing Thea! He wont be able to look away, you know?" Mor smirked. She was the only one who knew about their little fling.

"We'll see about that. Mor, I..." And Althea let it all out. Her confusion, her need to know and what she was going to do today.

Mor nodded, "Do what needs to be done sweetheart, and if it doesn't go well, make him regret it."Althea smiled at Mor and linked their elbows and pulled mor after her. As soon as they entered the party, Althea immediately started searching for Az. There. She made her way over to him when she found him lurking in the far corner of the room and looking like he would kill anyone who dared to even look at him.

"Hey." Althea said and he gave her a nod. She took a deep breath before continuing. "We need to talk." He stayed silent so she went on. "Somewhere private. Away from the house if possible. Please."

"Alright." He led her toward a nearby balcony. Pulling her into his arms, he flew out of the spell that prevented anyone from winnowing into or out of the house before darkness consumed them. When her vision cleared, Althea realised they were in the daisy field that she loved to visit.

He let her down and stood quietly behind her. She stared at the flowers, wonderin took a deep breath before turning to him.

She'd just opened her mouth to speak when he kissed her. She stood there, frozen in shock, but then she felt his hand on her hip, and she pushed him away. He furrowed his brows, as if confused.

"We need to have a conversation, Azriel, but not that type of conversation."

"Oh. Sorry."

She nodded. "I'll cut to the chase Azriel, as people might notice if we stay away for too long. So, what are we? Are we friends?"

"Of course we are friends Althea."

"Friends don't the things we do Az."

"What are you trying to say? Why would you ask me this? Did something happen?"

"I need to know." She shook her head. "I cant be your dirty little secret anymore Azriel. I want more."

"What do you mean more? You were never more than my friend's sister who wanted me to–" He sighed before continuing. "Althea, this was never meant to be more. This was just for fun."

"What? Then why'd you start this in the first place? You should have clarified that it wasn't meant to be more in the begging. Why—"

"Wait wait– I wasn't the one to approach you. You made the first move."

"But you were staring at me at Rita's... you weren't staring at me, were you?" When he didn't answer, she started laughing. "You were looking at Mor. And I was foolish enough to think you probably liked me back. Everyone knew you liked her."

They stood in silence for a time as Althea felt her heart breaking in her chest. He made no move to do anything as he stood studying the flowers. She shook her head and told him to leave.

"Are you not coming? Rhys will be angry. Come on. You can cry after the party."

She gaped at him. "How could you be so Heartless? Leave, Azriel. I'll see what to do with my brother."

"You're being difficult."

"I'm not. Leave."

"Fine. Whatever." And he winnowed away.

•○🌑○•

It had been an hour since Azriel had left. Althea had collapsed between the flowers and had let the tears flow. They had long since stopped.

How could he use her like that with no intention of letting her know that he had no feelings for her?

The air changed. She sighed and continued staring at the sky, not bothering to acknowledge him. A few moments passed by as he came and sat down next to her. Starfall hadn't begun yet.

"I royally fucked up, didn't I?"

"I don't think you're the one who fucked up."

She smiled. "Of course you'd say that. You're my brother. You'd always think I'm the nice one." She turned to her head to meet his violet stare, which was already fixed on her.

"Will you tell me what happened?"

She studied him. "You already know, don't you?"

"I think I've figured it out, but not everything."

She sighed. After a couple of moments, she felt his talons brushing against her mind. She let him in and showed him everything, from that fateful night at Rita's, till an hour ago, only leaving out the private moments. When he retreated from her mind, she could feel him fuming. "Don't say or do anything to him. It was all my fault. I was delusional. I'll eventually move on."

"But–"

"Please. This is my fight, Rhysie. Let me fight it."

He stared at her for a moment before turning his attention to the sky, where Starfall had started. "He had no right to hurt you like that. I still want to kill him. But because you said so, i will pretend everything is alright. He will never even suspect that i know about this." He forced out through gritted teeth. "But know this, Thea, you deserve so much better than him. You deserve someone who loves you a lot, maybe even a little too much for their own good."She grinned, pressing a kiss to his cheek and giving him a tight hug before tackling him to the ground and laying her head on his arm.

They stayed there all night, pointing at stars and giggling and laughing at the stupidest of things.And as Althea lay there with her brother, she couldn't help but feel lighter.

•○🌑○•

(I was really confused as whether to make it azriel x reader or not so I went with an original character but please let me know what ya'll think.❣️)

196 notes · View notes

pastelpinkkadan · 1 year

Text

Thinking about how SJM said she “Thought it was obvious” who the next book is about.

For something to be obvious, it has to be consistently and clearly present. Accessible, even. In your face. When we look at the top three shipping possibilities- Elriel, Elucien, and Gwynriel-, only one of those pairings has had consistent scenes and interactions throughout the books. Elriel.

Elain and Lucien have barely spoken to each other. There’s nothing besides the mating bond (that Elain has clearly stated she doesn’t want) that these two have done together. And that’s mostly been other characters talking about it, briefly at that. THEY haven’t talked about it with each other even once.

Azriel and Gwyn only truly interact in a bonus chapter. The rest of the book? They don’t really even speak to each other. And Gwyn wasn’t in the first 4 books, at all. Without that bonus scene, there’s basically nothing. Plus, if your edition didn’t have that bonus chapter (which mine did not) or if it had the Feyre/Rhysand bonus chapter instead then there’s pretty much no Gwynriel interaction at all.

A bonus chapter that may or may not even appear in the books cannot be “obvious”. Two characters who literally won’t speak to each other for SEVERAL books, cannot be “obvious”.

What is obvious? Two characters who have had interactions like these:

During their first meeting, Azriel and Elain were extremely polite to each other. Azriel was a perfect gentleman and made sure to present himself as non threatening to then human Elain. Now Elain was nervous, but open and accepting of Azriel at the same time. Their interactions were shy and CUTE.

After Elain was turned, only Azriel understood she was a seer. Not her sisters or even her “mate”, but Azriel.

Elain looked at Azriel’s scarred hands and bluntly called them beautiful.

Azriel stayed with Elain in the garden, which is a way that Elain coped with the trauma of the Cauldron.

Azriel’s shadows diminish around Elain, because with her there is no threat. They are SOOTHED by her. But, they also react whenever she is threatened, like when Nesta was hostile towards her.

Azriel saved Elain from King Hybern’s camp. He wasn’t asked to by Rhys, or even Feyre, he immediately volunteered and refused to hear anyone’s (multiple) protests. He was visibly distraught about her capture, and determined to save her by any means necessary during a WAR.

Azriel gave Elain Truthteller, something he has never given anyone, even his brothers. Elain then stepped out of the shadows and stabbed King Hybern through the throat with it!

Now, since I’ve already discredited the bonus chapter as not being “obvious”, I won’t count the almost kiss between Elain and Azriel, the rose necklace Azriel got her, or the fact that Azriel literally said he would get on his knees and beg for a taste of her. But even with that bonus content not counting, they have all of the interactions above that do!

So, which couple was obvious again?

#acotar #acosf #pro elain #elain archeron #elriel #pro elriel #azriel

118 notes · View notes

rhaenella · 3 months

Text

You & Me - Rhys Montrose x Reader - Part 23

Part 22 | Masterlist

Summary: What happens when reader assassin is tasked with killing the possible future mayor of London; Rhys Montrose. Politician by day, Eat the Rich Killer by night. But he isn’t the only person wearing different masks.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Violence, murder, immoral sociopathic behaviour, mentions of alcoholism, drug abuse and neglect, smut

Word count: 6.1k

A/N: at the end.

Song: Darkness In Your Heart – Cowbell

By the time you entered your sisters’ building, Zoe had already let you know via text that your mother wasn’t currently with them. That had been a massive relief. But, she’d said, there was something they needed to show you. She hadn’t specified what that something was, so your nerves were still working overtime, your stomach churning painfully.

What could that woman have done now?

And why, after all these years, was she still able to draw such a reaction from you? Get under your skin like that?

The answer was brutally simple: all the pain and sadness, the abandonment caused by her absence, and her behaviour that had led to your father leaving without a forwarding address—it was all still bottled up inside of you. How she’d hurt your family and had ruined your childhood. There were so many feelings and thoughts that you had pushed far, far away, never wanting (or ready) to deal with them. But ever since the house fire, something inside you had changed.

The time of ignoring your mother’s antics had come to an end. She couldn’t get away with what she’d done. Not only to your sisters. But also to you.

In your mind, she was to blame for most of your hardship, if not all of it. For the person you had become; cold and ruthless. Sure, there was a heart in there somewhere, you weren’t totally cut off from any type of feeling. Not entirely. But that only made your very being that much more confusing to you.

The nature vs. nurture question wasn’t a theoretical concept to you. No, you lived that question and battle every day. What was wrong, and what was right? Had you been born this way, or had you become this way? Rhys had once confided in you that he didn’t think the answer to that question could ever be straightforward. That he deeply felt that—contrary to what American serial killer H.H. Holmes may have thought—people are not born with the devil in them.

But did that come from a place of pure conviction? Or was it just another way to justify his own nature?

You would have to try and find the answers to those questions another time, because first, there was something else you needed to know: were your sisters okay? There was no need to knock when you rushed to their front door, it was already open, with Sadie standing in the opening looking as pale as a wraith.

“Oh, Kittykat,” you sighed, wrapping your arms around her.

She buried her face in your shoulder, sniffing. “Thank you for coming…”

“Of course, baby, I got here as fast as I could.”

You followed her inside, where your other sister was in a similar state. Zoe hugged you tight, whispering a stream of apologies. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry–”

Running a soothing hand down her back, you frowned. “What for? You didn’t do anything.”

“No, but Rhys is all over Twitter with that new murder, and we knew you were with him this morning and we didn’t wanna bother you,” she trailed off.

You stepped away from her, alarmed. “What murder?”

She frowned as if the answer was obvious. “Tom Lockwood?”

Instant relief washed over you. For a moment, images of Rhys stabbing Jonathan to death and getting caught red-handed had flashed before your eyes. But thank god she was only referring to that other prick.

“He’s disappeared, Zoe. He might still be alive.”

She huffed. “Yeah, right. With all the murders happening lately, I doubt it.”

Inwardly, you smiled. She was way too clever for her own good.

“Hey,” you grabbed her shoulders, levelling with her. “Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s horrible, whatever has happened to him. But like Rhys said, the police are investigating and will get to the bottom of it.”

“But what if this is another murder?” Sadie chimed in, worried.

“Then they will catch whoever’s responsible.”

They didn’t look convinced. And you couldn’t blame them. Even if you hadn’t been there to watch Lockwood take his last, dying breath—or been responsible to scatter his remains in a secluded grave—you wouldn’t have been persuaded by the current narrative either. Too many prominent people had died in the last couple of weeks, mostly thanks to you and Rhys. The idea of the famous CEO just popping up one day, alive and well, was a lot less plausible than murder.

Zoe shook her head, still sceptical. “How can you be so confident?”

Because, dear sister, I’m a con. That’s what I do.

You weren’t confident that the police would figure out who was actually responsible. No, you and Rhys had done a perfect job of covering it up. There was no way they could trace it back to you. However, it was precisely that confidence you used to enhance your lie. The best lies come from a place of truth, and masking the real intent behind your feelings by using them to convince people of something else, was a skill you’d gotten very good at.

Even if your sisters weren’t naive enough to fall for it like other people would, you still hoped it would reassure them a little. They were safe, as long as you were here to protect them. Your mind slid back to the real problem at hand. Your mother. The one unpredictable, dangerous variable you couldn’t control.

“I just know it. Now, enough about Lockwood. He isn’t important right now. Mum was here, you need to tell me what happened.”

“No,” Sadie bit her cheek. “She wasn’t literally here here.”

“But on the phone you said that she’s back,” you raised a brow, confused. “What is it you needed to show me then?”

Zoe took a breath. “Well, her proof of life. So to speak… and uhm, how shall we put it?”

She looked to Sadie who merely shrugged. “An olive branch?”

Your questioning eyes darted from one sister to the other. “An olive branch?”

“Yeah, an olive branch,” Zoe nodded. “That’s the best way to describe it, I guess.”

“What the hell does that–”

Before you could finish the question, Sadie had retrieved a folded envelope from her back pocket, which she handed to you with a slight tremor in her hand. It had all three of your names written on it, sloppy and askew. Your frown deepened as you felt the envelope. Going by the low quality paper, it could definitely be from your mother.

“A letter?”

They both nodded.

Un-fucking-believable… Your mother had sent you a bloody letter? Saying what? Oh, I’m sorry for almost burning you alive, I hope you forgive me, Love, mum. What a joke.

“You already read it, I presume?” Another nod. Sighing, you turned the envelope a few more times. “And this was delivered here?” You could scarcely believe it.

Zoe shook her head this time. “No, it was delivered to Darcy College. They sent it over to us.”

You froze at that new piece of information, your blood running cold. You’ve got to be kidding me… Looking up slowly, your sisters flinched at the seething look crossing your face.

“They did what?!” you fumed, making both of them flinch again. “I left specific instructions that if she were to contact the school in any way or form, they had to let me know first! Jesus christ, what a bunch of bloody useless imbeciles…”

Zoe and Sadie shared a look at the sudden outburst, but didn’t say anything. They didn’t need to look at you twice to see you were under a lot of stress. And in those circumstances, it was usually best not to argue. Perhaps one of them should let Rhys in on that secret.

“I can’t fucking believe it,” you glanced down at the envelope. “What bullshit has she written then? What twisted web of lies has she conjured up this time to justify her actions?”

Zoe swallowed thickly, her voice quiet as she spoke. “Read for yourself…”

You bristled, angrily fishing out the two-page letter, the cursive handwriting all too familiar. Oh dear, here we go.

My dearest daughters,

I know I haven’t always been the best mum, but I’ve been working hard on myself. To be a better mum for you. After the incident, I thought two of my precious children had died. It was my fault. I couldn’t live with what I had done, so I ran. I almost died myself that night. But I was found by a retired officer who was kind enough to take me in. I barely remember what happened or what he looks like, but he was the one who told me to seek help. He said he knew of a very good place that had once helped his son. I’m not gonna lie to you, sweet daughters, I was hesitant at first. The first step in recovery is to acknowledge your own mistakes and wrongdoings. I’ve learned that now. And that night, I took my very first step. The kind man called someone he knew at the facility and then drove me there. It was the last I saw of him. After I finish this letter, I plan to write to him too. Donald, my primary caretaker, said he knows the man’s address and will post the letter for me once I finish writing.

But first this letter to you. You’re my priority. Maybe you won’t believe me, but you have always been my priority. Y/N, since the day you were born, you stole my heart and my love. You were my bright little bundle of joy, always smiling and happy. Until you were not. Another acknowledgement: that was my fault too.

But back to the present. Cause I’m trying to look to the future nowadays. Moving forward. Once I got here, I checked myself into St. Raphael’s Clinic in Northampton. They help people like me here. To get better. To make amends with myself and the people in my life. I know I have a long road ahead of me before I can say that I’ve truly bettered myself. Because I know my actions have caused a lot of pain and suffering. I know that. I’ve been a terrible mother to you. And I will have to live with that knowledge until the end of my days. But that’s why I want to make things better now. For you girls. So that maybe you can find it within yourselves to forgive me, and we can be a real family once again.

The moment they told me you had survived and that you are okay, my dearest Zoe and Sadie, I felt a strength arise in me that I had never felt before. I know I can do this. I’m certain of it. Frankly, I’ve never been more sure about anything else in my life.

There’s so much I wish to talk to you about. I hope you’ll give me the opportunity to do so. Because I think I’m finally ready. To see you and to explain more about what has been going on, and how my treatment is progressing. That’s why I would like to invite you to come visit me at the clinic. You can meet Donald. I’ve been talking his ears off about you girls, he’ll be happy to finally put faces to the names. But it’s nothing compared to the joy it would bring me to see you again. Hold you in my arms again. And properly apologise for all that I have done.

So, please come see your mother soon. I love you.

Mum

(P.S. I’ve written the address on the back)

Tense silence filled the flat as you finished reading your mother’s messy letter. You stared blankly at the pages in your hands, your thoughts racing. What the hell had you just read? It seemed she survived the accident, and was now residing at some… addiction clinic in Northampton? Reading between the jumble of nonsensical sentences, you were sure it was also supposed to contain some kind of wayward apology. You didn’t know whether that should make you laugh or cry.

In your eyes, this was nothing more than the ramblings of a delusional woman, definitely not someone who was getting better. Because if she was really getting better, she wouldn’t have had the fucking nerve to even send this in the first place. How fucking dare she? You shook your head in disbelief as you blinked up at your sisters. Sadie was chewing on the end of her nail whilst Zoe nervously twisted her clammy hands, both anxiously awaiting your reaction. If possible, their worried looks made you even more angry.

“This is pathetic.”

Sadie winced. “Which part?”

“How about all of it?” you sneered. “She’s doing what she’s always done. Making up excuses for the shitty person she is.”

“Maybe she really thought we were dead…”

“So fucking what?” you spat, not even realising you were crumbling the letter in your hands. “That isn’t a bloody excuse to leave you alone after a potentially fatal accident, in an upside-down car, in the middle of a busy intersection no less. Not to mention, the house she had set on fire before leaving you to fucking burn alive in there.”

“She came back, though,” Sadie mumbled, shrugging her shoulders weakly.

“Are you kidding? Kittykat, she’s obviously just pretending to be the sweet ‘I’m going to better myself’ innocent, little lady. Probably to get out of that clinic as fast as she can to shoot up and start drinking again. Or to get us to pay for her bloody treatment. Or both.”

“Or she really wants to start getting better…”

Zoe flinched when your blazing eyes landed on her. “Et tu, Zo?! Really?”

She shrugged as well, looking so meek, it startled you a little. She was usually much more fiery. Like you. But, you supposed, your mother had a funny way of toying with all of your heads.

Sweet-talking her way back into your lives was second nature to her. Not that it would ever work on you. Not anymore. You were the unlucky one who had the most experience dealing with years of false promises and confessions of love. Each and every time, she failed to deliver. Hurting you again. Hurting you even more than before. There was a good reason your dad had left when he could. The fucking coward... Making life that much harder for you as you practically had to raise your little sisters all by yourself. Whilst also picking up the slack after your mother, who just kept on partying, not caring about anyone but herself.

Your sisters knew that. They weren’t stupid, they had lived through that as well. And even with their younger age, they wouldn’t quickly forget about it. But maybe, just maybe, because you had always tried to shield them from your mother’s antics as much as you could, their (naive) hope of this being a real pivotal moment in mum’s life, was a bit more tenacious than yours.

You took a calming breath. It wasn’t their fault that they longed for a normal mother. A normal family. But, as hard as it would be for them to hear it, they would never have one.

“Come here,” you sighed, your voice softer than before. Zoe and Sadie wrapped their arms around you, and you stayed like that for a while, hugging them tightly in the middle of the living room. When you pulled back, Sadie’s cheeks were wet, and you cupped her delicate face to wipe the tears away.

Another breath, and you clasped their hands in yours. Breaking their hearts was the last thing you wanted to do, but you needed to make them understand that your mother wasn’t going to change. Not now. Not ever. No matter how ‘bright’ the future might seem.

“Listen to me,” you implored, squeezing their hands. “I know you want to believe her. I want to believe her too. But it’s a promise she’s made a thousand times over. And never, not once, has she lived up to it. I don’t want you guys to build up your hopes, only to find it crushed again later when she inevitably fucks up… Because she will. That’s who she is. It’s who she’s always been, and always will.”

More tears fell from Sadie’s eyes, Zoe’s welling up as well, and your heart broke at the sight.

“Hey–hey, shhh,” you pulled them into another hug, swallowing your own tears at seeing them like this. “I know it hurts, but she’s not worth your tears. She’s not worth them. Okay? And she’s certainly not worth our time.”

Sadie sniffed into your shoulder. “So you don’t think we should go see her?”

You managed to stop yourself from barking a loud No! They needed comfort more than anything else. Swallowing again, you shook your head. “No, baby, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Not ever? Because what if the accident was a wake-up call for her? Maybe—and I know it’s unlikely—but maybe if she does get better and stays sober… we can go see her,” she tried, even though she sounded a lot less hopeful than before. But still oh so young.

They pulled back, both wiping at their faces. “I agree, Y/N,” Zoe spoke for the first time since you snapped at her, her wet eyes holding yours. “If she manages to stay on the right path, what harm can it do to see her and hear her out?”

It could break you, that’s what.

But right now, their innocent, hopeful eyes were breaking you.

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” you said, running a frustrated hand through your hair. “It would be a mistake, quite frankly.”

Zoe huffed, resoluteness creeping into her eyes. “Then let it be a mistake—let it be our mistake to make. I don’t know about you,” she briefly looked to Sadie. “But I don’t think I could live with myself if I never gave it one last try.”

“Me neither,” Sadie said, unwavering, her face also turning dead serious.

You held their steadfast gazes, another tense silence stretching between you. Evidently, stubbornness was genetic… Even in their pain and disarray of conflicted emotions, they wanted to see this through. And they weren’t going to change their minds. Quickly realising you wouldn’t be able to persuade them otherwise, at least not right now, you sighed reluctantly.

“Fine,” you said, clipped. Their faces lit up, but you were quick to tamper their excitement. “But I will contact the facility first, okay? Check in with the doctors about her prognosis. And if everything is indeed the way mum claims it to be, only then, can we have a serious discussion about seeing her. Together. Yeah?”

They shared another look, their mouths curving into pleased smiles before they nodded their heads in agreement. “We can work with that.”

“Good… But in the meantime, I need you both to promise me you won’t seek her out. Do not contact her in any way. She doesn’t know your address, and I’d very much like to keep it that way. Rhys went through a lot of trouble to make sure she wouldn’t be able to figure it out. Let’s not let him down.”

“We promise,” Zoe and Sadie said at the same time. Then Sadie added: “Thank you, sis. Thank you…” And they gave you another long hug, radiating a mixture of great relief and gratitude.

“I’m so sorry it has to be this way, I truly am. I just want to make sure you’re safe and that she cannot hurt you anymore. You’ve been through enough.”

“We know,” Zoe mumbled, squeezing you tighter. “We’re not mad at you. Honestly, we understand. But you also gotta understand that this is something we feel we need to do.”

“Yeah,” Sadie nodded as she leaned back. “Even if she’s an absolute nutter, she’s still our mother. Besides, weren’t you the one who taught us that everyone deserves a second chance?”

That was true. More or less. But this wouldn’t be a second chance for your mother, it would be her million-and-second. Still, you knew there was no point arguing with them. Therefore you didn’t. Just like there was no way in hell you would ever actually allow a reunion between your sisters and that toxic witch. But they didn’t need to know about that, so you nodded, forcing a smile onto your face.

“You’re right,” you offered, glancing between the two of them. “And you’ve both grown into such smart, independent, young women. I’m so proud of you, of course I will respect the choices you make.”

Respect them, yes. But in dire situations such as these, you would make sure they wouldn’t be able to see them through. You just had to play along long enough until there would be nothing but a grave left to visit. Because this letter had sealed your mother’s fate. She had to go. Before she could do any more irreparable damage to your already torn-up family.

Luckily, your ‘promise’ was enough for your sisters right now, and they both smiled appreciatively.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Zoe whispered softly. “Thank you for always being here for us. I love you.”

Sadie lifted a finger, instantly correcting her. “Nuh-uh, we love you.”

“Right right, I’m sorry. We love you,” Zoe chuckled.

Even as your mind clouded over with dark thoughts, their declarations managed to ground you. “I love you too,” you smiled, distantly hoping that they would still feel this way after you’d killed the woman that had birthed you. And that they would eventually come round to see it your way. Because your reasonings were blatantly simple after all. Protecting your sisters had the highest priority, higher than their immediate happiness and wishes.

Speaking of priorities… Jonathan. Lockwood. Atkinson. Your mind couldn’t help but drift to the usual three suspects (apart from your mother) who succeeded in keeping you occupied nearly 24/7. You realised your better half was probably eagerly awaiting an update on the mum situation and, even with everything going on here, you were quite antsy for an update on Jonathan as well.

You mumbled a quick apology as you fished out your phone. “Sorry, I just remembered, Rhys asked me to let him know if everything was alright. So, uhm, I’m just gonna–”

Their faces immediately turned knowing at the mention of London’s favourite politician. “You do that, sis,” Sadie giggled, stepping back to give you some space. “You know, it speaks volumes how much he cares about us.”

Zoe snorted, adding: “Yeah, I’m sure lover-boy is dying to do anything for her affection.”

“Oh, definitely! Remember how he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Y/N whilst he was showing us our new flat?”

“Mhm, I remember,” Zoe smirked. “What about you, sis?”

Rolling your eyes, you didn’t even bother to retort, typing a new message to Rhys instead. Inwardly, you were glad their moods had lightened a little, and that they were back to their usual, annoying selves.

<<< They’re okay

His reply was instant.

>>> Thank god. Are you?

<<< I’m fine

<<< Jonathan?

>>> Still alive. Your mother?

<<< Still alive…

<<< But not for long

You imagined him chuckling ever so slightly at your text.

>>> She’s still there?

<<< No, she never was, she sent a ridiculous letter

<<< I’ll show it to you later

>>> I see. Do you want me to come pick you up?

It was a simple question, yet the answer proved not so straightforward. Yeah, you wanted him to. But leaving your sisters alone after this whole ordeal? There was no way you could. During your inner debate, Zoe had, as silent as a cat, managed to sneak up on you, and was now squinting at the screen, trying to read your texts. You whirled around, locking the device just in time before she could see too much.

“Oi!”

“Are you gonna go see him?”

“Don’t be so damn nosy.”

“Are you?” she prompted with a smile, not in the least bit deterred.

You hesitated for a second. “No. I’m staying here with you.”

Compassion flashed across her features. “It’s okay, sis. You can go if you want to. And we both know you do,” Zoe added with a wink. “There’s nothing we can do about mum now, anyway.”

You huffed. “You’re kicking me out?”

“Call it what you want,” she snickered. “No, but seriously, I actually have an evening class that’s starting in an hour, and I don’t know what time I’ll be back. Some of us are gonna get drinks later. And, to be honest, I could really use one.”

You frowned just as Sadie joined the conversation again. “Yeah, same. I was supposed to meet a few friends,” she said, checking her watch. “So, if you want to go, it’s fine. We’ll be okay.”

Your frown only deepened and Sadie smiled reassuringly, grabbing your shoulders in the same manner you had done earlier. “Truly. Honestly. Cross my heart,” she promised, shaking you slightly to get the point across.

You opened your mouth to protest again, but Zoe was quick to cut you off. “Seriously. Go to him,” she nodded, encouraging. “We won’t be on our own tonight. So why should you be?”

You groaned. Yes, she made a good point. But not even ten minutes ago, you were holding them tight, drying their tears, and now they were assuring you all was well? You had a hard time believing it. Even if you knew their friends were very supportive and would be there to keep an eye on them.

“But you’re still upset by what happened, understandingly so. I can’t just leave you–”

“Yeah, you can,” Zoe said, simple. “And you will. How many times do we need to tell you we’ll be fine. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel like absolute shite, there’s no way I can’t be…”

“Same,” Sadie cut in, then let her older sister continue.

“Like… of course we do. And you do too. But we all have people close to us that we can talk to, and help us forget about our shitty lives. Even if it’s just for a little while.”

“Righttt,” you bit back an amused smile. “By drinking? …Sound familiar?”

“Okay, first of all, we’re in no way as bad as our mother. Secondly, do you honestly expect me to believe you’re not gonna open a bottle of wine the second you get home?” You pursed your lips, unable to counter that (even with your expert lying capabilities), making her smile triumphantly. “That’s what I thought. Now go tell Rhys to come pick you up, or I swear to god I will knock you to the floor and send that text myself.”

One last lingering look, which your sister matched with an intensity that equalled a pre-fight staredown, and your shoulders sagged in surrender. “Jesus… Okay, fine! Bloody hell, you’re a vicious woman when you choose to be, aren’t you,” you murmured, grabbing your phone again.

Sadie barked a laugh as Zoe coyly shrugged, not even trying to hide her smug grin. “Yeah, I know.”

Shaking your head with a smile, secretly proud of their resilience, your thumbs flew over the keyboard, finally sending a reply.

<<< Yes

A few minutes later, your phone pinged again.

>>> Finishing up now. Be there in 40.

Reading the text, your smile widened involuntarily. The prospect of seeing Rhys again, and having a like-minded individual (aka another psychopath) to discuss your complicated emotions with, instantly made you feel a lot better about this chaotic mess of a situation. You locked your phone, then looked up at your sisters, who were eyeing you with obvious delight.

“I take it lover-boy is on his way?”

You snorted. “Yes. He’ll be here by the time you’re leaving.”

“Good. I’m sure Rhys will be able to ease your mind about mum,” Zoe said, wiggling her brows suggestively.

“Yeah, I’m sure he will,” you laughed, but your smile slipped a little. He certainly would, but not in the way Zoe had suggested. Rhys would help ease your mind, yes—by plotting stone-cold murder. A very different type of pleasure…

By the time Zoe was ready to go to class, and Sadie had grabbed her things to meet up with her friends, the sun had started to set. You briefly recapped today’s crazy events when the three of you made your way outside. The Comic Relief meeting seemed like ages ago, with Lockwood’s disappearance finally hitting the news, Rhys’ impromptu press conference in Whitechapel, Zoe’s text about mum, you and Rhys falling out… him going to see Jonathan, whilst you sprinted through the streets of London to save your sisters from… a bloody letter. You would almost forget that a mere 24 hours ago, you were stalking your latest victim into the Natural History Museum, to kill him.

Privately, you let out a long and tired sigh. The short summary confirmed it: your life was absolutely bonkers.

After you’d hugged your sisters goodbye, you’d reluctantly let them go, like an overprotective mother on the first day of preschool. But not before once more making sure they were really fine. “We are, Y/N… Please, stop worrying, and enjoy your night. We’ll try the same.” And with that, they’d gone—and you were left to wait outside their flat, rubbing at your temple.

A headache was forming. The dull, throbbing pain wrapping itself around your head the way a tightening elastic band would. But that wasn’t unexpected, considering the circumstances. Especially not since you were currently making yourself go nuts by squinting at your phone, pocketing the device, taking it out. Then, pocketing it again. And taking it out again. For a few minutes, you kept at it, only worsening the vexing pain in your head, until you had enough of your own indecisiveness, and mentally slapped yourself in the face.

“Oh, fuck it,” you muttered, angrily tapping the screen to google your mother’s rehab facility’s number. Before you could rethink your actions for the gazillionth time, you pressed the green call button, nervously (not that you would ever admit it) tapping your feet against the concrete pavement.

There was a short dial tone, a click on the other end, then a monotone voice greeting you with unprecedented enthusiasm.

“You’ve reached St. Raphael’s Clinic emergency line, this is Paula speaking. If you are calling without experiencing an immediate, life threatening situation, I kindly urge you to call back tomorrow between the working hours of eight and five.”

The tone with which she spoke suggested that pretty much everyone calling their ‘emergencies only’ after-hours hotline, was never really in any danger at all. And that it annoyed her to no end. You bit your lip. You were about to add yourself to that list, even if in your eyes, your particular situation seemed dire enough to warrant special treatment. Probably like everyone else…

“Hi, Paula. My name’s Y/N Y/L/N, I’m calling about my mother, Valerie Campbell–”

“Is your mother in immediate danger, Miss Y/L/N?”

A wry smile tugged at your lips. Kind of…?

“I’m not exactly sure,” you faltered, tapping into the worry you genuinely felt, but using it to play the concerned daughter in hopes of persuading Paula not to hang up on you. “I believe my mother is a patient of yours.”

An exasperated sigh came from the other end of the line. “Miss, I told you, this number is for emergencies only–”

“Please, Paula, don’t hang up on me. I know this isn’t exactly an emergency, but my mother was in a really bad car accident a few weeks ago. I only found out today where she is, after she disappeared without a trace and I tried everything I could to find her, but to no avail…” you sniffed, faking a distressed sob for good measure. “Now I’m told she found her way to Northampton somehow, and is staying at your clinic. Please, please, tell me how she’s doing. I’ve been worried sick all this time.”

It was quiet for a moment. You didn’t try to fill the silence, only sobbing every now and then, as you waited for Paula to come to the conclusion that it wouldn’t hurt to help a distressed daughter in need. You imagined there wasn’t much else she could be spending her precious time on anyway. She likely sat next to that phone all evening and night, drinking litres of coffee in order to stay awake, waiting for the next person to call with a bullshit excuse like yours.

Another sigh, and Paula relented. “You said her name was Valerie Campbell?”

“Yes.”

You held your breath, listening to the harsh clacking noises of Paula hitting the computer’s keyboard as she pulled up your mother’s file. Two excruciatingly long minutes went by before she spoke again, in the same tiresome voice.

“Ah, yes. I see here your mother was indeed admitted to our clinic. She came in with a heavy set of old and new bruises, as well as some second-degree burns, for which she was treated by our medical team. The retired policeman that brought her in told us Ms. Campbell had strongly refused to go to the hospital, otherwise he would have taken her there first… Her injuries are healing nicely, so there’s no need for you to worry. She’s currently under treatment for substance abuse… primarily an alcohol and cocaine addiction.”

You frowned slightly. So far, this information backed up the claims your mother had made in her letter. No lies thus far. You weren’t sure if that was supposed to be comforting or not.

“...I’m also seeing that you’re listed as her emergency contact. Just your name, though. Your mother couldn’t provide a phone number or an address. Can I add this number from which you’re calling to the file?”

“Uhm, yes. That’s alright,” you said, rubbing your temple again. The headache wasn’t getting any better. “H–how is she doing? Like, mentally?”

“I unfortunately don’t have access to her psychiatrist’s files, those are sealed for obvious reasons.”

“Right… Of course.”

“However,” Paula continued. “As her daughter, you are within your rights to discuss your mother’s well-being with her doctor, her psychiatrist, etcetera. You will have to make an appointment at the clinic, if you wish to do so.”

“I do,” you said quickly, perhaps a little too eager. “Uhm–does that–can I also see my mother? She asked for me to come, actually.”

“Yes, you most definitely can. Generally, you will have an appointment with her primary caretakers first, after which you can see your mother. If she’s up to it, of course.”

“Oh, good… Uhm, yes, then I would very much like to schedule an appointment, if that’s possible.”

“I just told you it was,” she replied tartly, rigid typing sounds filling your ear again. “Let’s see when we’ve a spot available…”

It turned out the facility was absolutely packed with addicts, and there weren’t nearly enough doctors available to handle the impressive workload. Meaning you were now scheduled to visit the clinic in ten days time. You pushed aside your annoyance, telling yourself that you needed the time to carefully plan this visit anyway… There wasn’t room for error here. Besides, the intel that the clinic was immensely understaffed—like most care facilities in Britain—was certainly valuable information for someone who wanted to commit matricide on their premises.

All in due time, you thought to yourself. She’s not getting away with it this time. But even as you wholeheartedly believed that this is what you were meant to do, you couldn’t stop the cold lump of dread from forming in the pit of your stomach.

Sadie’s words rang through you, causing a shiver to run down your spine. “She's still our mother.” Yes… She was. But she didn’t deserve to be.

You managed to hide your actual feelings and thanked Paula for her help, then finally hung up, letting the sore woman return to her uneventful evening at St. Raphael’s Clinic.

As if on cue, a black car rounded the corner, screeching to a halt in front of you. The door immediately swung open, revealing a worried Rhys. When his blue eyes met your weary ones, his ever-soothing presence still managed to calm your racing pulse. Sparking a light in the sinful darkness of your heart. Assuring you that no matter what the future had in store for you two, everything would work out in the end.

It simply had to…

––––

A/N: Now that all the cards have been revealed, it’s time to see how they will play out…

––

Tags: @artaxerxesthegreat

#rhys montrose x reader #rhys montrose x female reader #rhys montrose fanfic #rhys montrose fic #rhys montrose #you netflix #you season 4 #you season 4 canon divergence #jonathan moore #joe goldberg #goldrose #ed speleers #rhys montrose x original female character #on ao3 #you and me

14 notes · View notes