#do you realize how tiresome it must be for the people who work on the venue? maybe they were the ones who contacted JO

[sparkles-oflight]

WAIT, Bojan deleted the stories because of the "fans"???? GET OUT

[forbidden-sunlight]

yandere!beezlebub with makima!reader!headcanons

Warnings: manga spoilers for both Record of Ragnarok and Part One in Chainsaw Man, obsessive behavior, violence, and blood.

There may also be possible triggers in this story.

If you do not feel comfortable venturing any further, please hit the 'back' button on your device or computer and read something much more pleasant than a possible series of unfortunate events.

You are responsible for your Internet consumption!

Hey guys, hope you are all having a lovely spooky month so far! :) I will admit that this fic here is probably one of the most challenging ones I've written because Makima....well, she is the embodiment of a necessary evil and does what she wants, when she wants. She cannot be contained unless it is to her advantage. And I honestly think she would definitely shake things up in Ragnarok...especially when not many people realize who she truly is until it is too late.

Shout out to @nunezs-stuff for their feedback and help on this fic!

So with that being said, sit back, relax, and let us see what surprises await :)

You were annoyed with your current situation.

You had lost and died in a fight by the hands of someone who wasn’t Chainsaw Man, someone who hadn’t even been worthy to be the devil’s vessel. You did give Denji some credit for using his mind instead of charging towards his opponent. 

No…he wasn’t the one you had fought in the cemetery that day. It had been Pochita, and he had heard every single insult meant to finally break what was left of Denji’s damaged psyche. You had dared to speak like that towards the only person you acknowledged as your equal, and you were punished for it. 

Denji consumed your flesh, not as Chainsaw Man as you had always hoped if you ever lost against the legendary fiend. The humiliating memory was still fresh in your mind, but that isn’t why you were annoyed. No, you’ve come to accept that you were outwitted by a mangy dog whose scent you didn’t even bother to familiarize. Rather, it is because you were chained and collared as you had done to Denji, but it is not to a human. 

A Valkyrie named Brunhilde was the one who held your leash, and she wanted you to save humanity from being destroyed by the gods by participating as a fighter in the Raganrok tournament. 

You weren’t given a choice, because you would either follow her orders, including the commands of her sisters, or you would die. Kill anyone besides your target, you would die. Try to bend anyone, human, demigod, or god to your command? You would die. 

Quite a conundrum, even when you still have control over your mind and body and Brunhilde says to just be grateful she’s been merciful.

You sighed. Suppose the only good thing in this predicament is that you can have coffee and do as you please without going against your contract with Brunhilde. If you weren’t wandering around Valhalla, you were either holed up in your quarters reading books or put to work to take care of some business on behalf of the Valkyries. 

It wasn’t actually there, but you could feel the collar around your neck loosen and tighten at random intervals. The only way to nullify your contract with the Valkyries is to create a new one with someone else who isn’t a mortal, but even then Brunhilde would know as soon as she lost the leash.

So how can you get away from this tiresome role as a Valkyrie’s right-hand woman without getting caught?

Just when this thought passed through your mind, you felt the collar tugging towards the door from your cozy chair. Ah…it must be time. Marking your place between the pages with a laminated bookmark, you stood up and quickly changed into the suit you had worn from your days as a Public Safety officer. Time to get to work. Perhaps if everything goes well…Brunhilde will allow you to take a peek at the human world and see how your idol is faring. Chainsaw Man must be lonely without you around to praise and shower him with affection, the poor thing.

After witnessing Hades’ death by hands of Qin Shi Huang, the Philistine deity decided that it was time to end this foolish tournament in the next round. Whoever he would be fighting next will not be granted a swift, painless death…that would be too boring even for his standards. Yet when he stepped into the coliseum with the Staff of Apomyius, he froze upon seeing a woman standing idly in the middle, dressed in a suit and tie with [Hair Color] tresses pulled back in a braid. If he hadn’t seen those rings swirling in [Eye Color] orbs, he would have scoffed at the human for being too arrogant…except he now knew this wasn’t a mortal. 

His opponent was none other than one of the Four Horsemen in Helheim, a harbinger that fed on mortals’ fear of control ever since Attlia the Hun’s campaign to dominate the world. The Conquest Devil. But why was she fighting the humans whom she wanted to destroy to fulfill a silly fantasy with the Chainsaw Devil? Well, no matter. He’ll just simply incapacitate her long enough to make everyone believe she had died in the fight and take her back to his laboratory as his newest lab rat. 

Or so that had been the plan.

The amplified vibrations created from the Staff of Apomyuis to strengthen Palmyra would easily destroy a human’s body even if they were equipped with a Volundr, he had underestimated the Conquest Devil’s regeneration speed because within the moment he saw her body burst into bloodied, tiny pieces, they simply reassembled….and then there was a loud scream from the human’s side, followed by more horrified wailing. 

She blinked at him, tilting her head with that condescending smile. “Is it my turn?” She asked coyly.

He scoffed, raising his weapon and to strike again when she suddenly blitzed towards him, pulling her dominant arm back for a strike when he activated Sorath Samekh. The backlash made the appendage fly off, and then it quickly reattached to her body. The dance repeated itself: he attacked, she regenerated. She attacked, he blocked it, and he countered it with another offensive technique that should have killed her….except no matter how many times he should have killed her, someone on the human’s side of the arena either died or screamed in agony as they lost an arm or a leg. 

And the more that this fight dragged on, the Lord of the Flies felt his morbid curiosity growing more and more out of control. He wanted her. He wanted the Conquest Devil at his side, but not just as another toy to play with until he got bored. He wanted to know why she was here, how she died, what were her weaknesses and what is the root behind her obsession with the Chainsaw Devil. 

Eventually, Zeus had decided to call their fight as a draw that would serve as a tiebreaker. He wasn’t pleased with this outcome, and neither was the Conquest Devil. Beezlebub could see her wanting to finish this fight, covered from head to toe in her blood and wearing a golden collar around her neck with a chain that extended from the arena to the private box on humanity’s side. Brunhilde. There was no one else how would be there, watching this show with a smile and possessing enough power to make the Conquest Devil bend to her will.

Unless….the Valkyrie had no idea the true nature of [First Name]? 

He had to resist the urge to chase after her, forcing himself to retreat and take care of the wounds he had sustained from the fight. If it was true that Brunhilde did not know that her right-hand woman was one of the Four Horsemen…this unfortunate outcome to round eight might be a blessing in disguise after all.

He smiled in self-depreciation. Blessing, hm? Nothing ever good comes from those who are around me….but if there is someone who could kill me without having any remorse or becoming attached to the Priest of Gluttony…it is her.  He thought, his mind drifting back to the memory of those mesmerizing, empty eyes.

Bonus Content

Brunhilde was furious with the outcome of round nine. Yes, she had allowed [First Name] to fight at half of her full capacity as per the terms of their contract and it was better to take a tie than another loss. 

But how in the ever-living fuck did all the secret collaborators of the gods’ campaign to destroy mankind just happened to be in the humanity’s audience? Did [First Name] arrange all of this to happen to take down two birds with one stone? No. That wasn’t impossible. Even if these bastards had betrayed their own species, there’s no way that [First Name] would personally invite them. Not when Brunhilde limited her ‘free time’ in Valhalla, and received hourly reports on her every move. 

[First Name] had a damned good sense of smell, but it was her photographic memory, and how she used it today was even worse. Once she had a face and a name memorized, all she had to do was think or say it, then poof. Any physical damage done to her body was transferred to the person whose name left her mouth. It’s why she is still standing without a single scratch on her body. 

And seeing random humans getting picked off in the middle of a fight no doubt piqued the old geezer’s interest. That’s probably why he called the fight to end in a draw instead of letting it continue, thus avoiding a panic to occur. 

Brunhilde chewed on her thumbnail. Shitshitshitshit! Why do things never go according to plan?!

Taglist:

@swallowtailcherry

@enryegotrip

@onecantsimply

@cassanderasblog

@nunezs-stuff

@justamegafan

@yellow-snark

@the-dumber-scaramouche

@radioactivesweet

@hana-no-seiiki

@thatstrangesheep

@nixes-noxes

@angel-tsugikuni-kamukura

@zodiacs-web

@dance-till-the-death

@deathmetalunicorn1

@dragonempress18

@puffy-bangs

[qqueenofhades]

As someone whose country went through a brutal dictatorship, we still see the bleeding wounds it's left- even 50 years later. The idea of not exercising the right to vote is absolutely unthinkable to most citizens. Granted, voting is obligatory, but everyone I know does it voluntarily and enthusiastically. The discourse I hear around it in the US evidences a narrow perspective, which is so upsetting to see, especially within leftist spaces.

The right to vote is something every citizen must, sadly, defend. Most Latin American countries know all too well what happens when fascism and treason disguised as conservatism take centre stage. I hope it won't be too late when the people peddling anti voting crap to younger generations realise the harm it causes.

All around the world, the reason fascist authoritarian dictatorships of whatever ideology stay in power is precisely either because citizens aren't allowed to vote, the vote is outrageously rigged (think of the 99% margins routinely racked up in places like Russia and Venezuela) or they rely on repressing the vote through intentionally disheartening liberal, left-wing, progressive, or other similarly oriented voters, who often do much of the work themselves with constant internal attacks and purity tests and adopting the rhetoric of anti-voting propaganda in the name of purity. Despite all their populist claims to enact a monolithic Will of the People, all these anti-democratic authoritarian movements are terrified of a genuinely representative popular vote and will do anything to stop it, because it turns out that if you give them the choice, people anywhere in the world don't super like being repressed, extorted, and terrorized in the name of Ideology, and will give your tiresome fascist ass Das Boot.

In the American context, the Republicans have gone full masks-off illiberal authoritarianism and they desperately hate the idea of people voting, which is why they have filed endless lawsuits, passed endless restrictive laws, disenfranchised even their own voters, shrieked election fraud, and everything else to try to jerry-rig their position as extremist minority oligarchic rulers for life. Which is why it is befuddling, to say the least, to see people insist that voting doesn't work, it doesn't matter that much, it isn't an effective tool against fascism, it's Morally Wrong, or all the other idiot "justifications" they come up with. All you have to do is look at how fucking terrified the bad guys are of a minimally equitable electoral system (such as getting rid of the Electoral College, which would pretty much ensure a Republican never won the presidency again if it had to be selected by -- gasp! -- an actual nationwide popular vote). That's why I don't even buy into the "voting sucks and is the bare minimum" rhetoric that gets peddled as a sort of tempting carrot to get the recalcitrants to do it -- don't worry, you can still post your mean tweets about Biden and that totally is more effective! Voting is A BIG DEAL. Voting works. Americans don't realize this because they are lucky enough to never have lived in a country where it wasn't available to be taken for granted and therefore scoffed off.

Voting, having the right to vote, and the large-scale ability that it confers to change the structures of society, is a MASSIVELY powerful tool that has largely not been available to most people throughout history (and is still unavailable to a large chunk of the world today). That's why there were bitter and protracted battles to get women and African Americans the right to vote in America. That is why the GOP still particularly targets those voters today, because the simple act of exercising your civic franchise in your best interests (and therefore not in the MAGA TrumpCult's interests) is so terrifying to them. If it was meaningless, none of this would matter. But it does.

Here, Imma make it real easy for you. If you have any reason to think your voter registration is lapsed, inactive, or nonexistent, if you have recently moved and don't know your status or your polling place or whether you get a mail ballot or whether your evil DeSantis governor has recently taken you off the rolls, or if you have never done it before, or if you want to do one basic thing to oppose fascism today, click this simple link. Do it.

[esther-dot]

Same anon and what you said about the desire for a healthy relationship for D vs Sansa because of their respective ages and experience in canon is sooooo true I never thought of that. I definitely think that contributes to my feelings about it. I also totally agree with what you said wrt to powerlessness and Sansa because they hate show!Alicent for the same reason. For me it doesn’t make Sansa boring or frustrating but actually more relatable but in an uncomfortable way. Sansa reflects a lot about me. I am a romantic, gentle-hearted person. I daydream a lot and I’m prone to idealization and have had a lifelong fixation on romance and relationships. I’m an escapist who loves movies and songs and books and an artist. I’m an aesthete with a strong sense of style. And I’ve always felt trapped by the expectations of femininity but have not been strong enough to meaningfully reject them (besides, there are some I actually enjoy, like having long hair). I was an ugly duckling around Sansa’s age so I think there’s a bit of disconnect I feel because of that, but I grew into someone that people generally consider to be very beautiful and it feels like a cage at times. My life has been marked by both older men and male peers idealizing me, using me, preying upon me, listing after me, etc. I have taken back a lot of that power and healed a lot but I still hurt and I still feel the heavy burden of the male gaze that makes me feel I must perform. Sometimes I fear that beautiful is all I am and I’m cursed to be wanted but never loved. And Sansa reflects this all so so well and I think the fact that she’s still in the throes of it all just lampshades these aspects of me and my life to myself in a way that’s uncomfortable. She doesn’t reflect much upon it in canon but I imagine being a warg whose wolf died makes it feel like there’s this emptiness inside you, something missing, that everyone else seems to have (because their animal is alive or because they are not skinchangers) and that feeling that you’re missing a piece somehow is also so relatable to me.

Last thing: it seems like Sansa fans are generally much more sympathetic to me as a Sansa and D fan than D fans are. I’ve been accused of only pretending to be a D fan despite my entire blog theme being based on her character, just because I accept the likely possibility of villain D. Whereas Sansa fans seem to have an attitude of “you like Sansa? I like Sansa too! Not everyone loves Jonsa, that’s okay!” I wish more fans could be more willing to interact and engage with people who have different opinions and interpretations. I even follow people who hate D because they have other opinions that I agree with! And I think that’s normal!

(continuation of this convo)

Oh, reading this message I can certainly understand why her story would feel triggering to you in some regards. Many Sansa fans identity with her in this way. She's like us or has experienced things we have too. Sansa's story is simply inundated with adult men lusting after her. It’s tiresome to have all the men perv on her. The Hound, LF, Tyrion….Dontos and Marillion...so many! I imagine the pressure to perform/live up to exacting standards is something we have each experienced as well, but for many, the failure to do so is prolly what makes Arya more relatable, whereas Sansa is trapped by her dedication to the role, the work she puts into that dismissed, and the damage that burden has done to her ignored.

I actually think the fear of being wanted, not loved, is quite poignant in Sansa's story (wanted for her beauty or wanted for her claim), and that is why I believed she will have a romance on the page because this is a major issue in her story that needs to be resolved. Even while I understand all the squicks around Jonsa, over and over, we realize, part of how all women are victimized in this world is that they're all a means to an end. A prophecy baby, an ally, a castle...Sansa is going to be our opportunity to see someone love her for herself, care about the girl as an individual, not only for her own personal fulfillment, but as a way to address this problem in their world. And obvy, the guy who will do that is Jon who has a) already refused to take her claim, b) already helped a girl escape a marriage in which she was being used as a means to an end, c) already been recognized as Sansa's hero in the the the text (Slynt's severed head). There are other characters we might love and want good things for, but this particular issue will be answered in her storyline. There's groundwork for it.

Even though I pointed to Dany’s past sexual relationships as a reason fans are primed for her to have a healthier one, I actually think Martin was using it for a different purpose which doesn’t bode well for her at all. He said a certain series of essays got her completely right and I pulled some quotes from them:

(link)

Obviously, the fandom at large doesn’t agree, Dark Dany is a big no-no, but I believe they’re very wrong about that and setting themselves up for disappointment.

She doesn’t reflect much upon it in canon but I imagine being a warg whose wolf died makes it feel like there’s this emptiness inside you, something missing, that everyone else seems to have (because their animal is alive or because they are not skinchangers) and that feeling that you’re missing a piece somehow is also so relatable to me.

Absolutely. I think a lot of people feel this way. Most people have a period of searching because we have a sense that there is more, that we are more, even if we don't have such a clearly defined aspect of ourselves stolen.

Thank you for the follow-up message, anon. I enjoyed reading it, and I hope you can curate a little corner of the fandom that you're able to enjoy!

[josiebelladonna]

i found a vast array of new artists this year, many of whom have become my new favorites, and a couple of whom i would just rather not even see again.

first is madie_arts. nevermind the fact the name madie (and a certain *grits teeth* variant of it) has been made radioactive to me, but… i don’t know, i have a love-hate relationship with this woman. that’s not to say she’s not a good artist—she is—but her attitude gets on the nerves. it’s very “hi, boys and girls!” and she’s one of those people who has to constantly remind us that she’s married, too. i can separate art from the artist and her art is quite nice but i can only take her in small doses.

adam_is_arting. i cannot stand this guy, and what’s worse is i feel alone in my dislike of him, too. i liked him at first: it was a cool story when you think about it. this nobody artist from grant’s pass toiling away in obscurity participated in mermay this year and everyone went completely ape shit over him, and within like… days, he was shaking hands. it’s every artist’s dream. but, thing is, it went to his head just as quick, too, and he got obnoxious really fast. moreover, i started looking at his art—like really looking at it—it’s not nearly as good as the mermay people want you to think. sure, technique is technique and a lot goes into it to where it looks competent, but the style got tiresome very quickly and it grew stale after a while. something about his art just irritates me, too: i think it’s the way he draws faces and overexaggerates the emotions to where you ironically don’t feel anything other maybe, “wow, that’s really well done.” the word i’m trying to think of is “melodramatic”. it’s like disney art but kicked up several hundred notches. very melodramatic work that… when you think about it, it’s a bad sign. if the art world is praising stuff that is painfully on the nose and dismissing subtlety, combined with the continued rise of ai and the overemphasis on reels rather than straight pictures, yeah, we’re in trouble. i really, really don’t know if i should wish him well because i see no reason to. i hate his art and i find him annoying.

then there’s the other side of my creative endeavors: writing. here it is, kinktober, and i’ve pulled the plug on mine, and i don’t know if i can continue writing and posting these one shots.

other kink writers are getting 1000 reads here coming up to halfway: i’m lucky to break 250, and yeah, reads shouldn’t matter, but it really has me thinking, too. when you see other people doing the same thing you’re into, it should inspire you, and it should give you pride in your own kink. I’m not seeing that. what i am seeing is a bunch of people speaking in a language that is so common that i can not for the life of me see the “kink” to it, and they also seem scared to actually commit to the sexiness? i figured that this is why i never really like erotic one shots that are only like a few hundred words and i feel shortchanged in that instance—there’s a way to do it, and even i struggle with that, so don’t think i’m bashing anyone for that. but if you’re going to write something sexy, please actually try to be sexy with it. use description. engage the senses. i don’t get off on “you must have fallen asleep touching yourself” alone, i need some mystery some guidance some passion some feelings. but no, that’s not good enough. what i do is not good enough. everyone would rather be mollycoddled and treated like fucking idiots rather than challenged and have their minds truly stimulated.

i was thinking about this earlier: kinktober 2023 broke me. it was the thing that made me realize just how invisible i am to people, and no one cares about my own predilections, and it really makes me wonder if it’s even worth continuing to write. just as mermay this year made me realize that all that matters is technique to where it looks ai-generated and phony as hell, kinktober made me realize all that matters is the sex no matter how mindless and genuinely unerotic (and insincere) it is.

so, if anyone in 2024 who complains about art looking exactly the same or writing sucking so hard that it feels like the person wrote it in about five minutes, this is why. don’t just blame the machines: the people using them are very much responsible, too. demand more from your art. demand more from your fan works.

god. 2024. it feels weird just writing that. i honestly have no hope for 2024. after the ass-kicking i took this year, i’m so cynical about it that i don’t even know where to begin. vote for joe biden, support your jewish black and muslim friends, stay away from ai and nfts, and drink water, that’s all i have to say for 2024.

[healthoduct08]

How to train your brain to crave the gym: it’s simpler than you think (and totally doable)

Mental Strategies to Help You Build a Regular Exercise Routine

Who wouldn’t think of skipping the workout after a long weary day at work? Of course everyone! Nobody would like to change into their sweatpants and sneakers and get their asses up for burning that extra fat and sweating around for like half-n-hour after a tiresome day at work and with all the stress that was dealt of. Basically this isn’t a great problem for a day or two but you never realize when it becomes a habit of skipping the workout. People nowadays pay very little attention to their health and fitness. They tend to ignore it more and more thinking that diet and workout of like 2 days during the weekend would be enough to keep them fit. As a result of this, they start facing many serious health issues from a very early age.

Let me know that you are not only the one, but there are so many like you out there, who need motivation and reason every day to go to the gym to workout. But you may have also seen people who wake up early in the morning just to exercise and the ones who skip the parties and their leisure time just to workout. These kinds of people always try to put their body and their health before anything else. And they stay healthier and happier in the long run. Now, these are the people from whom you can get motivated or at least try to implement their tips and tricks on how they can stay so motivated.

This is not a great task to be achieved. Instead, this is only some small basic changes that you need to make in your routine and develop simple habits for every day that will keep you going. You can totally get that done with some mental and practical hacks that will carve your brain in such a way that you won’t be able to resist your workouts anymore.

It is often quoted that with the right mindset, you can achieve anything. So whenever you feel lousy to work out, you need to think of these tips that will make you crave for the gym and won’t ever think of skipping your workout.

Now let’s have a look at what are those tips that will make your brain crave for the gym.

5 tips that will train your brain crave for the gym:

Pre-schedule your workouts:

Figure out and mark in the calendar about which exercise and what kind of workout you are going to have on a particular day, at the beginning of the week. This will help your brain to get indulged in the workouts as it won’t become the same old routine every day. Try out various things like yoga, aerobics, and stuff on weekends. All of these will help you stay excited about what’s next to come.

Also, make workouts an important part of the day and going to the gym a must-visit the place. Think of the positive thoughts like “you will definitely hit that next mark today”, “it is really going to be fun and you’ll reach one step closer towards your goal”. These things will help you stay motivated.

Find something to enjoy:

People tend to stop doing things when don’t enjoy it. This might also be a reason for your skipping the workout. Make something or find out things that you can enjoy while working out. If gyming inside the four walls doesn’t please you, then make a set of exercises that you need to practice every day and go to some open place like a garden or the backyard of your house. If you don’t like performing cardio, then leave it. There are many other exercises available that help your body move and sweat like running, playing sports, dancing, etc.

Try to find out the things that you enjoy doing and do it. This will help you wake up the next day with the excitement of doing that again and thus will keep you going. Make the journey as exciting as you think the reward is going to be and see how your brain craves to reach there.

Stay realistic and consistent:

Everyone gets excited in the beginning and start setting goals which are way too far to achieve. Then, later on, realizing that it is not happening, they just stop working out. This turns out to be a total de-motivation. Firstly, if you are a beginner then give yourself one week to adjust to the new routine and then see how far you can get at that time. See how much you can help your body push the limits but don’t go way too far as it will only result in injuries. After noting all these things, set a fitness goal that you want to achieve in the near future and the one that is realistic for you.

So when you wake up early morning and think about the goal that you’ve set, you get pumped every day get one step closer to it. Also, be consistent in your workouts. If you go gyming one day and skip the next 3 days then that is going to lead you nowhere. So make a habit of going to the gym at the same time every day. Thus it will help you form a habit which you wouldn’t be able to resist.

Try to love what you do:

It is the human nature of leaving things undone if we don’t like it. It goes here as well. If you don’t like your workout then you will feel like skipping it. So try to find out the exercises or workout routines that you like and perform it. After all, it is so important to love what you do and this will only lead you to continue doing it every day. And thus help you form a strong habit that will ultimately help you achieve your goals faster.

Treat yourself:

Sometimes, you might get tired of having the workouts done and all those diet stuff is eaten. As a human, one needs a break from the consistent things. Try having one over here also. But break over here doesn’t mean that you skip of your workouts and diet for 10-15 days and just stuff all the unhealthy things in your body. Instead of treating in a good way can help. It lets your mind get free from the regular routine and enjoy some time and then again start off with a fresh mindset.

Now let me get you some ideas that you can have to treat yourself. While working out, if you watch any particular T.V shows or serials then play it along at the time when you are exercising. You can always listen up to your favorite music and take up some favorite sport which you love playing once in a week where you can enjoy this. Get yourself a pampering treatment like a spa or shopping if you like, once you complete a week’s workout routine without skipping a day. All these things will keep your interest in the workouts and you give up even if you wish too.

I hope these things tips and tricks will definitely work for you and now you won’t be searching for any excuses to skip your workout sessions, after all, it’s only you who is going to be benefitted from that.

[seasideretreat]

Metaphysical exercise

There's a lot of terrible things in the world. It seems we must cultivate a good moral character. I say this with some regret, because this means I am not writing a metaphysical scholium. Still, we might be able to return to metaphysics through analyzing what tells us to behave in a certain way.

In the world there is activity and passivity. Good conduct requires a degree of passivity. If we take it easy, there is nothing that doesn't lie in our grasp. Nevertheless, we see that spreading the gospel of non-action is not helping people. We can go very far in helping people, and the gentleman knows that a world that has no content is much more easy to understand, much more comforting, than a world filled with power-politics and responsibility. But we see that even the most enlightened Buddha cannot remain free if he doesn't practice virtue. The greatest men were those who were in total control of their emotions. The man who conquers himself is truly enlightened.

In this short scholium, we see that the forces of yin and yang are very prominent in our world. The yin and yang powers tell us that we should focus on both the inner and the outer, the subtle and the factual, so that we may grow a meaningful world out of the myriad influences that shape our immediate thought. The wise man therefore cultivates an independent mind, so that he can balance the myriad forces.

But these are all passed stations. I have discovered all these things yesterday. Still, I am occupied.

It seems the teaching of metaphysics is just a part of the job of a metaphysicist. Fact is, I can't pretend that I can teach. I am just doing something. The core of the metaphysicist's vocation is to do research. However, at the same time, we might say that he doesn't need to do any research, he can just spout inspired nonsense right out of his hand. And maybe that's a good idea. The area of research is very limited. I can't just keep talking about yin and yang and keep saying the world doesn't exist. Fact is, I know awfully little about the world. I just don't know what would make me a metaphysicist if I just started spouting inspired nonsense. Write in slogans. That would be terrific, but also confusing.

So let's try research for just a while longer. I don't know. I don't know if there's anything to discover. I can also just say: water. Nous. The essence of the world is nous. Being alive means being in water. Thinking water is the liberation of the nous. Things are real because we believe in them. Redistribution of nous is water. Water is obscure in the last analysis. Everybody needs automatic necessity. The nous is automaticity in motion.

See what I mean? It doesn't make sense. But then, nothing makes sense, so I guess it is not that strange. Still, I don't really know what makes me a metaphysicist this way. I'd like to feel like I am communicating. I'd like to feel that I am making a difference. I suppose writing is a big part of metaphysics: how to write. It's a big question. But the thing is, I am working. That's all that matters. All day long we are being torn from side to side by crazy factors. And this - metaphysics - is the only constant thing.

You know, the unfair thing is that yesterday I thought so many things, and I really thought I was like building a stockpile of thoughts that I could ponder in a more quiet moment. But I have forgotten them all and now I got nothing to think again. I ain't rational anymore. You know, frankly I don't even know what to do. You can ponder metaphysics but nobody needs to know that stuff. You can read history but that grows tiresome after a while. There ain't no point studying history.

I think it was yesterday that I wrote a mini-essay on the chaotic world. It was so tiring! So that's kind of when I realized I needed to focus more on hardcore metaphysics, but you know metaphysics is not useful.

As that song says: my conversation has run dry. I am a philosopher but I don't know how to live. I have pondered all the major religions, but have found most comfort with the Eastern ones. Nonetheless, I still really like stoicism. I also really like Western philosophy in general.

When I am writing like this I don't want to stop because as long as I keep going there might be a chance I figure something out. Also, when I stop I don't know what to do with all my thoughts anymore. It's always nice to immortalize them immediately. I suppose I forget most of what I think up.

I think I really just want to know how to write. I kinda got a writer's block I suppose. Usually I just start something at random. The world doesn't need more metaphysics. I wish I could just keep them in my head but it needs to come out. Not really, but it gets the juices flowing to be writing it out.

Who am I kidding, I know how to write. Write in slogans! It's not so bad. Here we may introduce a new concept: acclimatization. When I write in slogans, I use acclimatization to create a readable text. A writer must write something worth reading. Now it has been said that a book is just a machine, meant to create new pathways in the brain. But a book is a piece of history! I am only saying this to temper the whackiness of Deleuzian excogitations. You know, I have been incredibly influenced by Deleuze, I get that guy, but I think it is a recipe for madness if you go too far in it. But that also goes for the Zhuangzi. It goes for everything. Heck, you can't even be too anti-hegelian, no matter how attractive that may seem. Everything in moderation. It's a nice thing to say, right? Safe. Chilon of Sparta said it. He said many other things that seem less safe, but they are probably quite safe. For example, he said: speak no ill of the dead. Now that's something we always do, right? It seems almost wrong to do so.

Man, I love to write. I just hate it that the only thing I can think of when I am writing is the Deleuzian thing. It conquers my mind like a plague. What else is there when it comes to writing? Well, there's "just writing", which is bad. There's "writing from history" which is a recipe for disaster. There is what I did here today, writing from a change, which kind of works, but I don't know, it doesn't seem foolproof. But the Deleuzian thing isn't foolproof either. All in moderation I suppose...

The creative outlet works in flows. When we see the pure flow, powers change. The ideosyncratic power of flow is the future. The essence of power is the future, too. Things occur naturally, and we go forth from freedom, in power. The power is flowing naturally, like a river. A river of change is redirected, and necessary; which means everything happens in the grand scheme of things, and the power is harnessed by creative enterprises that go nowhere: this is true power.

I wish I knew something about the world, but I don't. Yin and yang demand the flow of real directions in the entirety of the universe, and this gives us leeway. Writing is a bit like poker. There's just a handful of principles you need to grasp, but once you get them, you realize it's all about thinking. There's no point fighting against the principles, you need them to hold your own in the vast flow of the game. You know, I think a lot. You end up thinking on all levels, and thinking is never bad, I suppose, but it can paralyze you I suppose, and that's a problem. Maybe thinking is bad, but I enjoy it, I am a thinking man. It's a heavy burden, but also a great benefit.

[vibetarot]

The Power of Forgiveness & Healing The Inner Child ♥️⚘

Having forgiveness for others, isn't easy. It doesn't happen over night, the process can be difficult and tiresome. I know, because I've been there at one point. The hate & amonisty I had in my heart could have poisoned me. It could have ruined my life, my family and taken away everything I loved.

It could be so consuming that it shallows your life completely whole. I could allowed it to change me or make me bitter, but I didn't allow that. I had made my mind up to release those negative emotions and thoughts, removed those energies that were causing me drama and focus on myself. When I closed my karmic cycles with people, it made them angry & upset, they felt I wronged them because I blocked them out of my life but it had to be done. And now wvenas I think about it, I made the right choice.

This i know because I feel the relief of it. I feel lighter, I'm more at peace with myself. I'm more grounded now, and its because I've learned how to control my energy. I absolutely must say this, because whether you're an empath its very important to use techniques that help you heal past traumas, any emotional baggage

How bad do you want it? Because this journey is not for the weak or faint at heart. Everyone who says their spiritual, ain't spiritual. I've said this before, this shit didn't happen over night, to truly heal tkaes discipline & determination.

My Healing Journey

Back in 2017, my son was out 3 yrs old, I was struggling looking for work, covid came and isolated everyone, and I was really trying not to get cabin fever. Juggling parenthood and my daily life. And all I kept bumping into were obstacles and delays. I couldn't figure out why, these things were happening. My relationship with my family, wasn't good. My relationship with my son's dad was over. I felt like I was at a complete dead end. But then, I discovered the LOA (law of attraction) and fel in love with the idea that my thoughts create my reality. Suddenly I got an epiphany, I was being drawn to tarot. That is where I discovered my spirituality. Honestly, it has saved my life. Turned my reality in a complete 360. I started to discover who I truly am and what my purpose is in this world. My fascination with tarot, crystals, runes, affirmations helped me to shift my mindset for the better, for me & my family.

Today, I don't even recognize the old me. In fact, nobody recognized me its like a total stranger and they are a total stranger to me, more than ever. I realize how different the people I love are to me and how maybe they will never understand me. Especially on the 3D. I've been a closet witch for years now. I hod behind a mask too, but not anymore. I've got the courage now to speak up for myself and my beliefs. And thats a win in my book. Nothing but abundance for me and my family because of the choices I decided to make, to become the best version of myself, right now. And that's why I can share my story, for someone who like me, is in their life purpose. Those are the ones who can relate to me, and are apart of my soul tribe. I'm always connecting with amazing, authentic, like minded beings. The awesome thing about it is, that we're all connected through our journeys.

We all have different/similar experiences that we can collectively share, we would be surprised how much alike we all are. During this whole process, I have learned so much, healed so much, and ended so many toxic relationships I've dealt with. I've let go, released my need to control, and let God, my angels, my ancestors the steering wheel, and I'm enjoying the ride. I'm in a better place then I have ever been. Here's my techniques I use on a daily basis, to manifest my wants & desires. There are 3 basis techniques, I begin with, I feel are beneficial to your emotional wellness. These are 3, meditation, journaling & positive self talk (affirmations). There are plenty other ones, but we're talking the basis. The more you digital deeper into your spirituality, the more you learn.

Healing Techniques I Use Daily

♡ meditation

♡ journaling

♡ affirmations

I say meditation first because 5 mind of intentional breathing everyday will benefit you so greatly, clearing your mind and energy and being present. Blocking out all distractions, it takes practice in the beginning. Being that its worth while for your mental health, 5 mind a day cab help keep those negative thoughts at bay.

Journaling, is another healing tool that has allowed me to process my emotions like guilt, shame, sadness, regret, anger and depression. It also jmhelped me in planning and evaluating my goals and desires. I love scripting and using the LOA method to attract my desires. I heal through writing as a for a release and therapy. Affirmations play an important role of positive self talk, it gives you a boost of confidence and drive you never thought you had. Saying s line or phrase, over and jver again can sound repetitive, but well worth it. Your mind will start to believe it. Try it, it works.

Let Go & Let God

When I release of my fears and took that leap of faith, my life changed for the better. The way I viewed life changed, my relationships changed, I began loving & appreciating myself more. My faith went to a whole new level and my connection to spirit and the Divine blossomed like a beautiful blooming rose. My connection to spirit is an amazing gift. U cherish with my heart & soul, I want to share my testimony, to tell how miracles can happen. And where there is darkness there will be light. I'm learning how to take the good with the not so good and find the blessings in all situations and the lessons in it as well. Which I am always grateful for. I've done a good bit of healing and these days, I'm feeling a whole lot better

Because of my determination to be better.

TTYL

- Shay

[non-binaryzombie]

𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔠𝔨

Summary: Jake is a little bit obsessed with you, he needs to know more about you, going beyond what you show on the internet, but his biggest problem now is making you understand that he owns you, and that no one is taking you away from him.

Characters: Jake x reader (a little bit of Darkness too cuz, you know that I love him)

Warnings: Yandere Jake, stalking, possessiveness, lovesick, obsession, not exactly a happy ending, angst, language, use of straw (sorry turtles)

Word count: 2672

A/N: Here it is! I hope you don't hate me for it, I changed the name to fit more with the story, but the context is the same :)

(Most of my pics/gifs come from Pinterest, if I use a photo that belongs to you and you don't like it, please contact me and we'll take care of it)

Fascinating, that's the word Jake would use to describe you if he had to, he could spend hours trying to decipher you, trying to understand how are you able to like him without even seeing his face, without even knowing who he really was? You just know what he allows you to, but you've never been nosy, if you ask something to him and he says that he can't tell you, you just put it aside, not wanting to bother; and that's one of the things he most admires in you, the fact that you're so curious and yet, when he doesn't want to tell you something, you just try to let it go, making a mental note about the things you shouldn't ask, at least not over the phone.

Ever since you helped Jake to find Hannah, he've been more and more interested in you, how did you manage to help him to find his half-sister, and at the same time made him fall in love with you? Something he never thought would happen, suddenly from a time to another, he saw himself in love with someone who he thought be just someone that would help him to find his sister, just a means to an end.

But now, here he is, watching you from the window of the café you're in, he knows that he shouldn't, what would you think if you found out that he've been following you? He is pretty sure that 'happiness' would not be the right feeling, but he had no choice, he wanted- no, he needed to know more about you, and this time the internet wouldn't help him, for some reason you're really reserved, unlikely the most people at your age, you have social medias, of course but you rarely post something about yourself at them, the most interesting thing that the hacker could find about you was your school records and not surprisingly your track record is perfect, you never got bad grades, you never got into trouble, you are simply flawless. It makes him question, it's impossible for someone to be so perfect, you're sweet, kind, innocent and you always want the best for everyone no matter how bad someone has done you; you always forgive them. But you have flaws, everyone has, and that's what he's trying to find out, what are you hiding from everyone? And how are you so good at hiding it?

His blue eyes getting darker when he sees you hugging a man, who is he? And why do you look so happy to see him? You two talk a little before sitting down in one of the tables close to the window, the waitress soon come and both of you place your orders. The black-hair boy on the outside quickly grab his phone, sending you a message, just a 'Hi Y/N :)' waiting to see if you're going to answer him, he sees you pick up the phone and look at it for a few seconds before putting it back in your your pocket, did you just ignore his message? Okay, now he has no other choice then go inside.

And there he goes, entering the place and thankfully he could seat somewhere that you couldn't see you, but he could listen to everything, pretending to be doing something important on the phone. He orders a black coffee, nothing more. Soon you and the tall man started to talk while he paid attention to every single word.

"I am glad that we were able to meet, Y/N" he says with a grin on his face

"Wow, you really talk like this even in person, I thought that it was just you way to text" a giggle escaped your lips

"What do you mean?" he tilted his head

"You just, talk like you are in a really important dinner with the queen" you say resting your cheek against your hand while looking at him

"I think I never stopped to notice the way I speak, is this a nuisance for you?" he asked and you quickly shacked your hands

"Oh, no! That's not what I meant, I happen to like it, actually" he looked relieved

"You are really observant aren't you?" you smiled

"You'd be surprised how many times I've heard this" the girl came back with your orders and you thanked her with a gentle smile

"So, I haven't seen you in the forum lately" he took a sip of his latte

"Of course you've noticed" you giggle playing with your milkshake straw "I should have predicted" he let out a light laugh through his nose

"Is there a especial reason for that?"

"Well if I am being honest, lately I have been too tired to even scroll through the forum" you looked down playing with your fingers on the table

"It’s okay, you don't have to talk if you don't want to" he said putting his hand next to yours

"No, it’s just-" a sight left your mouth "Do you ever feel that everything around you is slowly becoming tiresome? How if the slightest effort to follow your routine makes you tired?" he nodded, you are not sure if he really understands you, or if he is just trying to make you feel better, but you continue "But for a few seconds, something makes you step out of your comfort zone, makes you hope again, but then it ends and everything becomes monotonous and boring again" you didn't even realized that your fingers are now entwined with his, you feel your face turn red and quickly let go of his hand "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you" the hand that was holding his is now between your legs pressed against the soft upholstery of the seat you are on, and the other on the straw of your milkshake bringing it to your mouth.

"You don't have to apologize, Y/N, it’s okay you know that you can trust me" he said straightening his posture

"Yeah, I know, Dark, and I thank you for that, but I don't really want to bother you with this, we're here to have a good time" you smiled, and he nodded

"Let's chance the topic then. How about the guy you told me about? Are you two a couple?" you felt your face turn red again

"Jake? Well, not exactly, it's complicated" 'Not exactly? Of course, we are a couple' the hacker thought with himself

"Complicated?" Darkness asked encouraged you to continue

"Hum, none of us really made a official dating request, y'know?" Jake never thought about it that way, he really has to put a ring in your finger for you to know that you are his?

"But you like him, don't you?" he looked straight into your eyes, like he was trying to guess what was happening in your head

"Yeah, we haven't said 'I love you' yet, but, I really like him, and I think that he likes me too, it's just..." you paused lettings out a sigh "He is not really good at showing how he feels, he is not good at talking at all" you giggle

"Then why don't you take the first step?" he asked confused

"I'm afraid of being rejected." the man sitting in front of you looked surprised, so did the one sitting behind you

"Why would he reject you? You are amazing, anyone would be lucky to have you." a shy smile appears on your lips

"I just, don't think he has time for a relationship, he's constantly busy and moving, because of work" you completed

"Well, this is really a misfortune, but you know I'll always be here for you, don't you?" he said picking your hand

"Yes, I know, and I can say the same to you" he gave you a smirk "Why are your hands so big?" he laughed

"You really know how to change the subject very quickly don't you?" you smiled at him.

The man sitting in the table behind you got up putting the money on the table and got out of the café as fast as he entered, what made him bump into someone that he quickly ignored making his way back to the motel he was staying at, he was angry, how dare this random guy even touch you? Say that he's going to be there for you, you don't need anyone else, you have him, you may don't know it, but you are his, he always makes time to talk to you, and now you say that it’s not enough? You even dare to consider that he's going to reject you? What more he needs to do for you to be sure that he wants a relationship with you? When he finally arrived at his room, he slammed the door shut, sitting in front of the computer, trying to calm down, breathing heavy. He knows exactly what he must do for you to know that you belong to him.

You threw yourself on the bed, with a smile on your face, the day with Darkness was better than you expected, he is not all serious personally, or you just have the ability of making him less keyed up, your phone buzzed on your pocket and you grab it quickly not so surprising it was Jessy 'Hey, how was your little date?' you giggled after answering her 'Not a date Jessy, but it was really good to be honest' Jessy was incredibly supportive when you said you were going to meet your forum-friend 'I'll want to hear everything about it tomorrow' ' Don't worry, I'll tell you everything'. Soon you remembered that Jake texted you early and dialed his number wondering whether or not to call him, you bite your bottom lip before working up your courage, clicking the green button and bringing the cell phone to your ear, settling down on the bed, you start to wonder if this is a good idea right away thinking about just hanging up and pretending it was an accident, but as soon as the call is answered you feel your body tense up.

"Hum, hi" you say shyly "Sorry I haven't texted you earlier, I was kinda busy"

"It's okay" his deep voice make your whole-body shiver "How are you?" he asked

"I'm good, how about you?" why do you feel so awkward?

"Good" he says and keeps silent 'god, why is it so hard?' you thought while trying to think something to say

"I-" you are interrupted by his voice

"What were you doing?" he asked, and you frowned your eyebrows

"What?"

"You said you were busy, what with?" you blinked a few time before answering him

"I went out with a friend" you said and heard a 'hum' coming from him on the other side of the phone "Are you mad?" you asked apprehensively

"Why would I be?" his voice makes you feel butterflies in your stomach

"I don't know, we haven't talked the whole day, and you seem, rough" he sighed

"It wasn't my intention, I’m sorry"

"Don't worry" you heard someone knock at the door

“Oh, wait a minute there’s someone at the door” you said getting up, and walking towards the noise opening it, just to see a black hair boy standing there, with his phone on his ear

"okay" he said before giving you a little smile, your eyes widened and you felt your body freeze

"Jake?" you ask and he nods, that's all that he needs to do to see you quickly hug him tight, he looked a little surprised but then he just wrap his arms around you, feeling the good smell of your hair, you two stayed there for a while hugging in the doorway.

When you finally looked up at him your eyes were full of teas, happiness tears, but that didn't stop Jake of push the tears away

"What are you doing here? I thought you were with Lilly" you said pulling him inside and closing the door

"I've come to see you" he said looking at you

"You could have warned me, you know, I would have at least organized this a little bit" you say scratching the back of your neck shyly

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise" he says putting his backpack on the sofa "And it's not that messy at all" you two sat on the bed, your face is so red it looks like you're going to explode

"I have something for you" he says taking a little box of his pocket, opening it and revealing two rings your eyes widen and you quickly look up at him

"Are you serious?" you ask and he nods

"So, what do you say?" he smiles

"Jake, I-I don't know..." his smile disappeared and he looked at you confused

"What?" that's what you wanted a ring, an official request, wasn't it? Then why are you rejecting him?

"It's just- I like you, I really do!" you say as you see his reaction

"Then why don't you want to be with me?" he looks sad

"That's not what I said, I mean, you're wanted Jake, by FBI and by another hackers, I know that there's a lot of things that you don't tell me, I know that you're just trying to protect me but, I can't keep in the dark just trusting that you are doing the right thing" no, he's not sad, he's angry, he closed the box tightly, making you flinch

"Okay, look I don't need a fucking ring to prove that we are together, I just bought it because that's what you wanted, you are mine, and I don't care who the fuck is coming after me, I won't let anyone be on our way, you don't have to worry about it" you blinked a few times trying to process what he just said, he sighed putting his hand on your cheek "I love you, Y/N" he smiled again

"I'm not a pet, Jake, you don't own me" you took his hand off

"I think you should leave now" you said looking away

"I won't leave you" he said firmly

"Are you even listening to yourself?!" you said getting up "This is not love, Jake" he got up standing in front of you, the difference between your highs makes you feel intimidated

"I am lovesick, Y/N, can you blame me?" he says getting closer making you step back "I can't stop thinking about you everything that you say or do makes me love you more, I want you, I need you, why can't you understand that?" you now see yourself trapped between him and the wall behind you

"You're not lovesick, you're just sick, you are fucking obsessed! I would never be with someone who acts the way you're acting right now" instant regret

"If I can't have you, no one can, and I'll make sure of that, my love" he muttered taking his cell phone out of his pocket and showing it to you, your eyes widened

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Let him go!" Darkness was tied to a chair with a cloth over his mouth, he didn't look hurt

"I'll let him go, when you accept to stay with me, otherwise, I'll kill him." you can feel the tears wetting your face

"You sick motherfucker" he pretended to be hurt

"You better choose your words better Y/N, I can kill him in just a snap" you looked at the picture again

"Fine, just let him go" he grinned as he put his cell phone away, he took the rings again and offered them to you, you looked at him before picking the ring and put it on your finger, he did the same

"You won't regret it, my love" he says pulling you closer and kissing you 'I already did' you thought with yourself.

[usopp-writes]

May I please request a drabble or hc with Denjiro, where reader is admiring him from afar, never daring to actually hope he'll ever acknowledge them? Or just something sweet and fluff with him, since he so deserve some sweetness in his life, after what he'd been through for 20 years.

Thank you.

Rookie of the sea

Yes, he so deserve love and someone doting on him. While I haven't written for Denjiro before, I do want to write this and I hope I'll do him justice. Thank you for requesting this, dear Rookie. May this satisfy you.

Enjoy <3

Denjiro x GN reader SFW Word count: 1,540

Wano was free of the reign of Kaido and Orochi. You couldn’t believe it. More than twenty years in hell, where the people – your family and friends – had suffered and lost so much, was now over and done with. You could breathe again, though the island was still chaotic. The news about the defeat of the Yonko and that slimy bastard – as you called Orochi – spread like wildfire. Apparently there had been a raid at Onigashima during the festival; led by the Red Scabbards – you had thought they were all gone – pirates, samurais and other allies. The raid had been a success, it seemed, but you wondered what this would mean for the future of Wano. Would it truly be free?

Sighing, you wandered through the streets of the capital, your feet leading you to the house of Kyoshiro where you had worked up until now. He wasn’t there, you hadn’t even seen him at the festival and you wondered if it was his way of grieving from the loss of Komurasaki. You didn’t know the circumstances of her death, but she had been under his protection, you’d been slightly jealous of their relationship. Of course he would still be grieving, but maybe he’d been invited to the festivities on Onigashima too?

If that was the case, you should probably make your way to the island that now lay upon land. You didn’t understand how, but that wasn’t the questions that drove you. No, you had come to realize that you didn’t just admire Kyoshiro, you loved him. With all your heart and now that he was gone without a trace, you felt like the chance to confess had passed. Maybe he was dead, killed in the raid? If so, would you be able to find his body and at least give him a proper burial? Would the victors of this raid even allow you that? After all, you’d been a loyal servant to Kyoshiro for years, always doing his biding, no matter how odd they were.

You kept going, leaving the capital, alongside so many others, who had raided the farms that had been under Kaido’s control. You assumed they were going to bring the victorious people food after a long and most likely tiresome fight and battle. It must had been one hell of a fight, considering the island was here and looked like it’d been through a lot or maybe it had always looked like this? You actually didn’t know, but well, it didn’t matter. Your goal was to find Kyoshiro.

Standing in front of the island, you wondered how you were supposed to get onto it. Even the people from the town looked puzzled to as how they were going to bring the food to those who had fought so hard, while they’d partied. Somehow your silent question was answered and you got the means to get onto the island. You didn’t spare one moment and rushed up, afraid the opportunity would vanish again or your resolve was fading back to nothingness.

You quickly found out that everyone was gathered at one place. Carefully walking around – you didn’t want people to notice you and think you were here to use this opportunity to get riches for Kyoshiro – you searched for any indication that your boss and love was here or had been there.

The aftermath of the fight left you astounded, though. How could anyone survive all this? So much destruction and you’d noticed that some of the wounds were pretty bad. Not that you had medical knowledge, but even a blind man could see that some wounds were almost deadly. If it had been you or anyone else, then you might have been dead already, but this had been a battle with some of the strongest people that lived in Wano and then pirates from the outside, who all had been tough enough to survive the harsh sea. You’d heard from Kyoshiro how rough the sea was and one wrong move or decision would cost your life and the life of those sailing with you.

Suddenly long blue hair caught your eyes; the same color of your love, though the hairstyle was definitely different. However, the height and his eyes were the same. Was this man Kyoshiro in disguise? And was that Komurasaki at his side? But she was dead. Had you all died and was this the afterlife then? What was going on?

You stood there, gaping at the two, unable to move, unable to progress the scene in front of you. Vaguely you noticed other yakuza bosses, but your attention was fully on the man with the blue hair and the beautiful woman at his side. Your heart raced, so many emotions rushed over you. Not only the dawning fact that Komuraski had somehow survived, but the raid had succeeded. Kaido and Orochi was no more in control of Wano.

Not registering that the blue-haired man moved, his speed surprising you, when he was suddenly in front of you. He towered you easily and you looked up at him. Even if this wasn’t Kyoshiro, this man was handsome too, taking your breath away for a brief moment.

“You’re here, y/n.”

Blinking, you tilted your head in confusion. “I know you?”

He chuckled and knelt down, gently placing his hand on your cheek, making you blush at the touch. “Forgive me, because I have ignored you all these years. I don’t deserve your admiration nor do I deserve your love, because I have deceived you. I’m Denjiro, one of the nine Scabbards, who hid behind the name Kyoshiro in hopes that this day would come.”

You took in a sharp breath, shock written in your face. Kyoshiro was Denjiro? You’d always admired the Red Scabbards, praying to them for a better tomorrow each night. They were the hope you had clung to in these rough times, the hope Toki planted with her prophesy lied within them and now one of them was here, in front of you?

“…”

You opened your mouth to speak, but didn’t know what to say at first. Instead you placed your hand on his, as his words fully settled in your mind. He knew. He knew what you felt for him. You were not just a minor servant of his, as you’d believed. He’d noticed you, noticed the unspoken words in your eyes and subtle actions. You didn’t know he was this observant.

Taking a deep breath to steady your nerves, you placed your own hand on his cheek. “You did what you had to do, so this day would come. In your eyes lies the truth. I saw struggle and sadness in your eyes and I wanted to be the one to take that away from you, but it seemed that nothing I could ever had done would have been able to do so. There’s nothing to forgive. You gave me and Wano what our heart desired. Freedom. I also know what you did at night.”

He smiled, relief flushing through him, as you didn’t seem to hate him or be angry at him. Yes, he’d done what was necessary to survive and protect those he held dear, you being one of them. For years he’d felt and seen your admiration and love towards him grown, each year slowly killing him more, as he also felt the same towards you, but he was lying to you. Lying to the country, to the people that suffered so much, but he’d tried to give back. And you knew. He was so happy you had known and still been at his side. You and Hiyori had been his suns, the ones that kept him going.

Taking your hand in his, he kissed it gently. “Allow me to make up for the time we could have together. If you still want to, I would love for you to stay at my side, helping me, the Red Scabbards and the two children of Oden, Kozuki Momonosuke and Kozuki Hiyori to rebuild our country.” He gestured to the young and beautiful woman that had come to stand next to him, when he said Hiyori.

“Y/n, you have been so loyal to us. I am forever grateful for all you’ve done. Please accept my apology for deceiving you too, as I lived under the name Komurasaki.”

You bowed respectfully to the woman. “Princess, you have nothing to apologize for. If anyone else had known your true identity you would have not been staying here today. I am so grateful and happy that you survived and endured so much for us. Accept my heart and my soul, as I will help you rebuild your country. At the side of Denjiro.” You eyed the man, your face flustered and heart racing. Saying his name had been weird, but also so right.

Smiling, Denjiro raised himself again, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Come; let’s start right here and now, by helping the wounded.”

With a flutter in your heart, you nodded and followed them into the place of chaos. Today was the happiest day in your life. The day you and your country got freedom and where your heart found the love you’d yearned for in years.

[diavolosthots]

Hey Queen! Beautiful Queen whom I love and adore! <3 It's me! Your bitch! That bitch! I was just thinking like, some wholesome Belphie is very much needed everywhere and for everyone. Like, MC is feeling super cuddly and stuff and they go to Belphie and it's just super fluffy and super cute, and really sweet - @belphies-cuhm-sluht <3

I scrolled until I found your request because I know you need it and I hope you feel better soon, cutie @belphies-cuhm-sluht

Cow Pillow (BELPHEGOR X GN!READER)

It used to be that sleeping your life away felt almost like a sin, like it wasn’t allowed. There was a time for sleeping and there was a time for doing things and out of 24 hours in a day, only eight could be spent resting or you’d feel guilty. Maybe it’s the work drive in you or maybe it’s the feeling of endless guilt that makes you feel like you have to prove yourself by doing things, more things, and definitely things done better than by others. Maybe it’s also because too many people called you lazy throughout your life so you vowed to never be lazy, somewhat neglecting your own self to prove to others that you were worth it. Who cares if you suffered, as long as everyone else was happy with you, right? 

But throughout the years you found loopholes in that. They’re not even loopholes, but to you it makes more sense, and it makes you feel less guilty, rather than outright admitting that you like being lazy. These loopholes range from things like “I have spring allergies so I need some more rest…” to “well, it’s technically not due until the 25th…” to “People deserve love and affection and cuddling is my preferred type. It’s necessary to be loved in order to function.” All of these are valid all on their own, and yes, all of them are considered valid reasons, but it still makes you feel guilty admitting that, so you call them loopholes. Life’s loopholes to make you feel a little less shitty about something that’s, in all actuality, completely normal. 

Today’s ‘loophole’ however, was actually something new to you, kind of. It was rainy and storming; the perfect weather to kick back and just relax. Maybe read a book so you couldn’t call yourself completely lazy. After all, reading does challenge the brain and as long as you’re stimulating some part of yourself, whether that be mental or physical, it’s okay, right? It totally counts. But you also had someone with you that’s… the complete opposite of you and he lured you in. He lures you into the deep depths of laziness that you’re unsure you’ll ever be able to get out of once you’re in them. It’s almost creepy how he does it, too, without even lifting a finger. Without a worry in his mind. Without… trying. 

Belphegor didn’t care what people thought and somewhere, you admired him for that. He made it seem so easy. So what, he sleeps for 36 hours straight and no one bats an eye. If they do, he just avoids them. He doesn’t even pretend to give them the time of day and he’s explained it to you many times before. “Why would I worry about people I will never have to deal with, ever? Now that’s tiresome.” and it made sense. It would be tiresome to constantly think about how other people view you, don’t you think? Belphegor himself is hated by some, neutral for many, and loved by few, but he doesn’t care. The few people that love him, love him a whole lot and that’s all it takes for him. Maybe it’s also easier for him because that’s his avatar. Maybe. He does wonder how you do worry so much, though, because to him, that is crazy. 

He actually made it a point to influence you as much as he can just because you’re almost as bad as Lucifer when it comes to getting stuff done and besides the fact that it’s, in his eyes, annoying, he also doesn’t want someone as interesting as you to end up with Lucifer. What’s that supposed to be? Wanna-be dad and step-parent? The last thing he needs is for the person he’s interested in to call him son. No thank you. Anyway, he made it a point to enter your dreams and drag them out a little bit (a lot) longer than they’d usually have. The small “oh my God I slept through my alarm!” that he heard the first few times had him laughing, but also thinking about how adorable it is. “You worry too much…” is what he’d mumble in his own sleepy voice. 

Now it’s gotten to a point where he openly talks to you in your dreams and you willingly drag things out with him, but when you try to do the same in the actual world? He pretends to be asleep. Not because he doesn’t like talking to you, but he just feels more comfortable when he’s somewhat in control and can remove himself from the situation if need be, you know? That’s why he keeps his distance. He did openly admit that to you, though, and that’s fine. At least you know where he stands and that he doesn’t hate you. However, today you just… you just can’t wait until you fall asleep and until he enters your mind. It’s raining outside and you feel somewhat lonely. You’re in need of company and he’s your favorite type of company, even if you mainly hang out together in your mind. So today, you decided to just go into his room and join him. The worst he can do is say no, right? 

But he didn’t even do that. As a matter of fact, he didn’t even realize you entered until you stood in front of him and in all honesty, he didn’t even fully register that either. It’s more like… he realizes he’s not alone but he’s also not awake and he definitely doesn’t care enough to open his eyes. “Hm?” You were already whispering his name, explaining awkwardly that you just needed to cuddle. “Cuddle…” he just repeated the last word, rolling over onto his back and for a moment you feared he didn’t even recognize a thing you just said. “Okay… come here then.” “Hm? Are you sure? I can leave again Belphie…” Maybe you should take this day to do something productive? Everyone else will already be lazy so one person should do something, right? 

“Yes, come here. Lay down so I can lay on you.” He’s still not opening his eyes, only scooting back for you to join him on his bed and then waiting. You can either join or leave again and he doesn’t really care which option you choose. Except he does. He just won’t admit it if you choose wrong. “O...okay… yeah. I’m already here.” And you really, really would like to cuddle with him, after all. You laid down beside him, carefully, trying to respect his boundaries but also trying to remember that he did want to lay on you so should You lay on your back? “Oh… oh yeah okay this is fine.” You couldn’t even ask him because the minute he felt the bed dip, he moved back closer to you and curled into your side, placing his head on your chest and wrapping his arm around you. 

“Is this okay? Belphie?” He only hummed in response, nuzzling into you, and you carefully wrapped your arms around him too. It felt nice. Really nice, and you found yourself relaxing almost immediately, although you did blame it on Belphie more than anything. He does have that calming effect on people after all. “You’re better than the pillow, but…” You looked down at his head confused until you felt him shift, his face buried deep in your chest now while he tried to keep his horns away from poking you. His tail swayed behind him for a second before wrapping around your waist right beside his arms. “That’s better…” you looked at him, poking his horn for a moment before laughing. How is this better? How is this comfortable? Can he breathe? He must be breathing otherwise he wouldn’t lay like this, right? 

“You worry too much…” “What?” How did he know? You weren’t even asleep yet. He chuckled, lifting his head a bit and smiling at you, eyes still closed. “I don’t need you to be asleep in order to be inside your head… stop worrying so much. I know you want this.” He put his head back down right after, his whole body relaxing against yours and for a moment you wondered if this actually happened. “Belphie… I just…!” “Yeah I know. You want this but you worry about not doing enough. Just shut up already, okay? You, of all people, deserve to relax and what better way to relax than with me? Just ssshh… go to sleep. I won’t let you leave until I decide that you have rested enough.” And by that he means… you’re stuck with him on top of you until the next day has come and he’s thoroughly convinced you took some time for yourself. 

“You’re so silly, Belphie…” But it also felt really, really nice to have someone that seemed to care so much. And he does. He cares a lot. And he wishes you’d be more like him, in a sense, but then again… he’d just keep you with him at all times and make you his new cow pillow. It’s not like that’s going to be an issue, though, right? 

[write-like-wright]

since you did the prosecutors before can we get exes headcanons for them (like what they would be like if they were ur ex LMAO)? if this is too broad u can pick ur favorite aspect of it (u dumping them, them dumping u, seeing them in public one month later 🥰 etc)

skjdksfnfjnf this is so funny yes!

Being their ex: Ace Attorney rival prosecutor edition

Miles Edgeworth

if you thought he was awkward while you were dating, wait until you see him after your breakup

he does NOT know how to behave around you at all anymore

mostly attempts to avoid you

may or may not pull another one of his "prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death" stunts

goes to Europe for a few months to compose himself and figure out how to proceed

he's especially stumped if you are somehow obligated to interact, either through work or maybe if you live nearby

tries his best to be civil and gentlemanly, but it's painfully obvious he'd rather be anywhere else in the world at that moment

I imagine you'd have mutual friends, so before every group outing he asks if you're going to be there

something may suddenly come up if the answer is yes

*cough, cough* "I can't, I'm sick"

"boo you, Edgeworth"

I'm assuming you broke up either because of how much he works or because he fears for your safety because of your relationship

maybe it was just a heated steel samurai discussion taken too far

Franziska von Karma

oh boy, this is not gonna go well

so cold to you in the public

throws around a "foolish fool" or two your way

grips her whip so tight her knuckles turn white

cries when she gets home

absolutely cannot forgive herself for allowing someone to know her so intimately and see her in her vulnerable moments and then they're just... gone

probably puts her off dating for a while

if I had to guess why you broke up, I'd assume it was due to her intensity or competitive nature

Diego Armando/Godot

this man has many, many exes

not much changes in his demeanour towards you

he's as cool and as smooth as ever, but is careful not to cross over into the flirty territory

you're either addicted to caffeine or absolutely repulsed by it at this point

walking by a coffee shop makes you uncomfortable

don't know why you broke up, but you get back together at least twice before separating for good

Klavier Gavin

Klav remains his good old, friendly self

will drop an album about your breakup

expect a lot of hate from his stans

the media hounds you

you get invited to participate in a few reality shows probably

he feels bad and tries to defend you

offers to make it up to you by taking you out for dinner

you hook up

you break up again because you can't stand the constant scrutiny and him being away for long periods of time

rinse and repeat

Simon Blackquill

there are so many potential reasons why you could've broken up

too intense? scary at times?? manipulative without even realizing it??? spends half his life savings on a fancy katana???? who knows with him

goes full emo

do you guys know that canonically those marks on his face are from crying so much in prison? yeah (they're apparently starting to heal too, good for him)

acts all tough at work, goes home and cries to HIM - Gone With The Sin blasting at full volume

flip-flops between being a gentleman and a jerk should you meet in public

makes a few snarky comments about you and your relationship to hurt you, then has a minor freakout when realization.exe kicks in and he notices you actually are hurt

apologises by sending you cute bird pics

"Look at what Taka did today."

"He's wearing the bandana you bought him :)"

"Please respond I'm so sorry don't block me"

You eventually remain friends so you can get bird visitation rights

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi

acts polite and smiles sweetly, but occasionally ends the conversation with "I will pray for you", not unlike a hostile southern lady

you miss him and his expensive haircare and skincare products

you can definitely live without the 8-hour sermons

perhaps the cultural differences were too hard to overcome? or maybe it was the constant travelling? in either case, you mutually decide that ending your relationship would be for the best

I imagine dating literal royalty would be exhausting

Barok van Zieks

make no mistake, this WILL cause a scandal

no matter the reason for your separation, get ready to deal with some serious gossip

everywhere you go, you notice people whispering about you

"I hear they ended their betrothal with Lord van Zieks."

"Well, I say! Can't imagine dealing with the Reaper myself."

everyone wants to hear your side of the story and any potential dirt you may have on him

Barok acts as gentlemanly as ever, as befits a man of his standing

he's a solitary man, but his solitude soon leads to loneliness and resentment

his consumption of fine vintages increases by tenfold

whatever it is that happened between the two of you must have been major

betrothals are not lightly ended, especially with the heir of a powerful noble family

might not even be your doing, perhaps family got involved

perhaps, his family reputation has been besmirched? ahem

Bonus: Kazuma Asogi

poor Kazuma can't catch a break

Ryu gets a tear-stained letter written on 18 sheets of paper, front and back

"Oh, dear," Susato sighs. "I suppose this means the wedding is off."

while he's no lord, he is a prosecutor in the service of Her Majesty and the news of a courtship ending would be scandalous

perhaps, for that reason, and fearing how the public would react to your relationship (it is Victorian England we're talking about after all, Van Zieks' views are far from unique), you chose to keep it a secret

at first exciting, your secret meetings and whispered words soon become tiresome

the fear of being caught is always gnawing at you

he may lash out initially when you leave him

offers to make your relationship public, to hell with the society

you both know it's a bad idea

"This is all your fault." he sighs as he pours himself another chalice of Van Ziek's fine vintage.

"My fault? How is your poor performance today in court my fault, my Nipponese friend?" Barok spits out. "You have been distraught for days now, man! Pull yourself together!"

"Not you specifically," Kazuma brushes off. "Your kind."

"My kind?"

"Stuck up posh twats."

Gina walks in just as they're about to draw their blades

listen babes I'm a Kazuma simp this is the only way i could envision dumping his ass

[startanewdream]

Hyacinth

Summary: Sirius takes some time to fill his godfather duties — teaching Harry how to ride a motorbike.

Part of Eyes Glistening (Jily Lives AU). It ties with Hope, but you don't need to read it first to enjoy this moment between Harry and Sirius.

Read on AO3 or below the cut:

~*~*~*~*~*~*

The street is quiet, a summer afternoon in which everyone must have decided it’s too hot to stay outside, but Sirius doesn’t breathe easily until he opens the small gate and then he is finally inside the Potter’s estate, safe under their love protection, though its days are almost over. He tries not to let this thought dismay him.

He walks towards the house, but he pauses, his attention diverted. Despite the heat, Harry is standing still near the broom shed, watching the sky thoughtfully, his hands inside the pocket of his jeans.

Alone and brooding, never a good sign.

He sighs, moving direction towards his godson. He has seen that quiet stubborn resolution on Harry’s face ever since he met him after Dumbledore’s funeral; it was a soldier’s face, a soldier with a duty that was hinted by Harry’s secret meetings with Dumbledore—the most secretive man Sirius had ever known—, and from all Sirius knows about Harry and James, that didn’t bid well.

He had a feeling Harry would leave. He was sure that James would hate it.

Sirius walks quietly, stopping a few steps behind Harry.

‘So, how it went?’

Harry jumps under the sound of his voice, turning around. Sirius holds back a frown; Harry shouldn’t be caught so off guard—he may be safe at the moment, but soon, in the real world, he will need better reactions and not trust anyone. This thought doesn’t comfort him.

‘What?’

‘You finally told James, didn’t you?’

Harry squints, uncomfortable. ‘Dad said anything you?’

‘No, I just needed to come by—I still have a few repairs to do in my motorbike.’

‘Oh.’ Harry’s gaze strays to the broom shed. ‘Don’t mind me.’

Sirius watches him for a few seconds before nodding. It’s still hot and he had planned to do this later, but he has a feeling that now it might be the best time—and he knows that pushing Harry to talk before he is ready never works. So he goes to take his motorbike, opting to work in the open instead of the broom shed. Harry hasn’t moved when he comes back, as Sirius imagined he wouldn’t, so Sirius just kneels to check the engine, careful to let the toolbox closer to Harry.

‘Pass me a screwdriver, will you?’ he asks Harry, not taking his gaze off the engine.

It’s been a while since he rode his motorbike, Sirius notes shamefully, so he needs to check if all the electrical parts of the motor are okay. It’s a tiresome job that he could ask a real mechanic to do, but he enjoys the manual work anyway, and Harry seems to relax some of his tension as he watches Sirius working, helping him whenever Sirius asks him—things that Sirius could do alone, but he understands that Harry likes to feel helpful.

‘I am leaving,’ Harry says quietly at some point, and Sirius takes care to not let any emotion show in his face.

‘I thought so,’ he says. All those meetings with Dumbledore seemed too much as some sort of passing the torch, though Sirius doubts that Dumbledore had planned for things to go sour so quickly. ‘When?’

‘As soon as I am of age.’

‘Oh. Okay.’

Harry is watching him, and Sirius knows he is just looking for some sort of disapproval—though he doesn’t know what Harry would do if he found it. That boy is Lily’s son too much not to be stubborn and he would go anyway. Well, Harry does like to suffer.

‘Dad is mad at me. I think… I think I’m letting him down somehow.’

And there is it, the reason why Harry was staring sadly at the sky, brooding under the sun as if it could atone for his sins somehow. He sees the apprehension in his godson’s green eyes, and Sirius is suddenly aware—though he shouldn’t be surprised—how apart from his eyes, Harry looks a lot like James.

‘You never disappoint James,’ Sirius tells him reasonably. ‘He is just too worried. You know him.’

‘I feel like… like if I leave him, he won’t ever understand. He’ll hate me for doing it.’

‘Hating you for doing the right thing? That can’t be.’

‘You didn’t see him. He said… he said if I cared, I wouldn’t leave anyone.’

‘Do you?’ Sirius asks softly. ‘Do you care?’

Harry looks at his house with a heavy sigh. ‘Too much.’

‘Then he will understand. You’ll be of age, Harry, and you’ve been making decisions—good even if questionable some times—for some time now.’

‘I just want… I want it over.’

‘That’s all we want.’ Sirius pauses for a moment. ‘Are you sure you’re the only one who can do this?’

Harry doesn’t hesitate this time. ‘It has to be me. But I won’t be alone.’

‘Ron and Hermione?’ Sirius guesses, smiling a little when Harry nods. He is a firm believer that with friends by his side, Harry can do anything. ‘Ginny?’

Harry sighs. ‘No, we—I broke up with her.’

‘What?’ Sirius asks, confused, but the desolation in Harry’s face is enough to show him all he needs to do about this news. ‘For her own good?’

Harry kicks a stone in the ground, his head lowered. ‘I couldn’t put her in danger and… being near me is a hazard. It’s enough I’m already putting you and Mum and Dad in so much trouble—’

‘You know we would still be even if you didn’t exist, right? In fact, we joined the Order about two years before you were even born, kid.’

Harry shrugs, clearly not agreeing with him. Sirius rolls his eyes; Harry enjoys saving people too much not to feel guilty for anything that happens, even when is only remotely connected to it.

‘If you wanna blame someone, blame Voldemort, not you,’ Sirius says, and he stands up to finish a few protective spells on the motorbike.

As he casts them, blue light shining from his wand, it occurs to Sirius that Harry will need a quick course on Defensive Spells. He already knows quite a few, always having a knack for them, and Sirius is familiar with how much Harry loves his Expelliarmus—he supposes that a wandless enemy doesn’t provide much danger—, but Harry will need to improve his list if he is to be safe during whatever he will be doing.

He thinks of a few books he has at home that helped him in his early years of the Auror training, and he is sure that he can ask Moony to come and help them with training.

Away from James’ eyes, that’s it. Sirius enjoys not being hexed by his best friend.

But Harry’s birthday is still a few weeks away and, right now, Sirius doesn’t want to give Harry homework.

‘Why are you fixing your motorbike?’ Harry asks.

‘I got the feeling it might be useful. The Order has been discussing how to get you safely away from here, you know.’ Harry frowns heavily, so Sirius rushes to add in a teasing voice: ‘I thought of suggesting to hide you inside the trunk and be done with it. Death Eaters would never guess.’

Harry laughs. ‘I don’t think I’d fit.’

‘No, we’d need to transform you into something. Too bad you never felt an attraction to turn into an animagus, if you were a hedgehog it would be easier.’

‘Why a hedgehog?’

‘They are cute. And your hair does make you look like one.’

‘Hey!’ Harry’s indignation is cut by the grin on his lips. He runs his hand through his hair in a gesture that reminds Sirius of James more than ever. ‘It’s my charm.’

‘Oh, I’d have my doubts, but then Lily did marry and procreate with your father, so what do I know?’ Sirius tosses a helmet to Harry. ‘Here, put it on.’

‘To hide my hair?’

‘No, silly, because you need a helmet to ride.’

‘Ride?’

There is a bewildered expression on Harry’s face. Sirius smiles, more certain than ever of his idea. ‘Yeah, I've never taught you how to ride a motorbike, have I? Lousy godfather I am.’

‘You’re not,’ Harry says at once, distracted. He puts on the helmet. ‘Why didn’t you ever teach me before?’

‘Lily deemed too unsafe—a little hypocrite if you ask me, brooms are much more dangerous’

Harry doesn’t look as if he agrees on that one—that boy was way too influenced by James about brooms—but he seems excited enough.

‘Now what?’

‘Now pay attention. If you fall, your mother is gonna kill me.’

Harry looks amused with Sirius' concern.

Sirius shows him how to operate the motorbike, telling him to be careful with the brake and the acceleration and to not mix the gear shifter with them. Then he helps Harry get on the bike.

‘By the left side,’ he guides, and Harry looks somehow younger as he sits on the motorbike. Sirius had a sudden vision of himself holding a Harry who wasn’t even two yet as they flew through the night.

Merlin, the time has flown. Near seventeen already and ready to kick Voldemort's arse.

‘Keep your feet on the ground to get used to. Good?’ Harry nods. ‘Okay, now try to feel the clutch.’ After several minutes, in which Sirius makes Harry repeat over and over how every part works, he picks his key. ‘I’ll start the engine now, okay?’

Harry acquiesces; his eyes are shining, overjoyed. Sirius makes sure the bike is into neutral, then indicates the “start” button for Harry.

‘Slowly let the clutch out—keep your feet on the ground, it will give you more support.’

Harry nods once more, concentrated, his attention focused on releasing the clutch—and then his grip slips and the motorbike yanks forward too quickly. Sirius jumps to hold them.

‘Hey, hey, it happens!’ he says. Harry looks only sheepishly, not very much concerned for his health. Of course not, Sirius thinks. The boy is ready to face Voldemort, what’s a bike? ‘You stalled the engine because you let it go too fast. Try again.’

He does; this time his hand leaves the clutch in the right timing, and the motorbike wrenches him forward. Harry lets out a laugh—one of those carefree sounds that Sirius has been hearing less and less lately—at the same time as Sirius turns into a dog to chase him.

The Potter estate is vast, an enormous field that goes into the woods, and it takes several minutes until Harry finally steps on the brake, having made a huge round back to the broom shed. Sirius is glad and relieved to realize Harry remembered to use the brake over the throttle.

Sirius is out of breath—age comes with problems, though he wouldn’t admit it out loud—when he helps Harry down the kickstand so he can get off the bike. Harry immediately crashes into the ground, laying over the grass with a relaxed expression as he takes out his helmet.

‘This was so much fun!’ he admits. ‘Can I fly next time?’

‘One step at a time, kid. When you are good on the ground, we’ll try for the skies.’

‘Spoilsport,’ Harry complains without any real malice in his voice. ‘Thanks, Sirius.’

‘No problem, kid.’ Sirius sits next to him. ‘Just wanted to share Hyacinth with you.’

He lifts his eyebrows. ‘Hyacinth? Your bike has a name?’

‘All the good rides should have one. Don’t mock Hyacinth.’

Harry shakes his head, amusement all over his face as he closes his eyes. He puts his arms around his head for support, so Sirius does his godfather duty once more. He turns into Padfoot, laying next to Harry to offer him a good fluffy pillow.

[autumnslance]

Being in fandoms for so long yourself, do you have any tips on how to approach fandom in general? It can be so overwhelming sometimes!

Honestly avoid fandom as much as possible. 'Tis a silly place.

On a more serious note, I DO have a draft on staying sane on social media I’ve been slowly making. The main points are about knowing how your social media sites work in regards to tags, searches, cuts, filters, blocks, and mutes, and being liberal with using them for whatever reason you need. In general for this post: limit following counts and be picky about who you follow and why--don't just “follow back” because. Don’t sit in Discords that make you uncomfortable and keep utility servers to those channels needed and mute/hide the rest. I should get around to the rest eventually.

I maintain that sticking to what you love and with friends is better than trying to interact with “the fandom” at large. Especially as a property gets well known and a larger following, the vocal negative 1% seems to get louder and tiresome quickly. Protect yourself and your pals and enjoy what you wish, minimizing stress and drama and hurting real people over what’s supposed to be a shared interest of pretend characters and stories. More specifics of that below.

Limiting myself to some friends and branching off their recommendations, getting to know folks before hopping into servers or groups, helps a lot. I don’t have to engage with the entire fandom. I tend to hear about random dramas in passing, like a shadow underwater, because I interact with chill folks more interested in simply enjoying an interest, not in making it their entire life and identity and so having to be right or chase clout or whatever over a pretend world and make-believe characters, even if resonates with us.

Don't give too much of yourself away. Don't tell people all the ways to trigger you, or your vulnerabilities. Don't give away locations. Use basic internet safety and anonymity to keep folks at arms’ length as much as needed. You're not obligated to answer every DM, right away or ever. You can make some dear friends through fandom, but a single shared interest is not a guaranteed safe and healthy basis of relationships.

Focus on what you love, ignore what you don't. Yes, you want a healthy level of objectivity and criticism and sometimes you need to vent but overall, fandom experience is much better if you're actually enjoying the things you engage with. Don't force yourself to put up with things you don’t have fun with, but also let others have their fun (even if you don’t think that it is fun, if it isn’t harming other real people and dragging them down it’s fine even if you don’t get it). This can include leaving that fandom when the base material is no longer fun for you, leading to...

Remember that you don't own the characters and story; it's someone else's world, we just play in it. The creators are going to make choices and changes, some good and some bad; learn to accept that and keep fanon separate from canon. Interactions with creators via social media are also usually very surface level and parasocial; just because they make part of themselves visible and accessible, doesn't mean you know them, are friends, or are owed anything by their social presence.

Other fans have other takes; you may not like them, but they're valid. Sometimes those other ideas too can make you rethink or add to your own, make you realize some things you hadn’t considered due to a blindspot in your own experiences, and add to your understanding of characters and story arcs. So be open to others’ ideas. Find those of a like mind more or less and stick with ‘em.

Don’t let fandom ruin a thing for you. If you find yourself surrounded by a lot of negative opinions, especially about something you enjoy, you can speak up if comfortable, but if not, simply stop following/interacting. I cull my following lists regularly, and a lot of times remove people who tend to be negative about things too often for my taste. Their blog/timeline/whatever but I don’t have to interact with it. If I find my enjoyment of a thing souring, I ask myself if it’s due to the actual story/characters/how the creators act, or if it’s due to the corner of fandom I’m in and if I have to clean up and then see how I feel about the thing.

Don't assume the worst of people. I often make myself stop and reread what someone said, slowly and even out loud if I must, to make sure I understood. Go back some posts/threads/pages for context if needed. Some people are just bad at communicating. They may be ignorant of even the most basic of modern social manners, internet etiquette, and so on. English may not be their first language. I tend to assume unintentional oopses until someone makes it crystal clear they mean harm--it's generally easy to tell. Let things roll off your back; they don't know you, really, just the persona you present online. You don't know them and their issues, either, just what little you see. It's usually not worth the hassle and heartache to do more than eye-roll and move on with life.

Others won’t censor/remove everything you personally find a squick or trigger, but do advocate for proper tags, warnings, and hiding the content. Learn to skip past the crap you dislike to find the things you do; you do not have to read or view or comment or like everything. There's only so many hours in a day, and not everything is your taste.

My personal annoyance usually come from how people who engage with questionable content react to other fans being upset, especially when they didn’t take the proper precautions to warn/hide their content based on the site. Anyone who then revels in their “problematic” status and starts making their dark content “to spite antis” has lost sight of why they wanted to make that content to begin with and are acting like brats, IMO. Especially a waste when it can be well written/drawn, even if out of my own comfort area. Don’t do things for spite if you can help it; sometimes it leads to interesting things, but a lot of times, it ends up hollow and a regret down the road.

There’s likely more to this, but these are some general rules I’ve been trying to follow as I get older and realize a lot of time and emotional labor over fiction isn’t worth stress and negativity, but should be relaxing and fun, as the real world is difficult enough. Have fun and make things fun and positive for others when possible, don’t tear others down for the sake of it. Fandom is meant to be a shared interest and love of a thing, after all.

[rewrite-this-story]

Maybe I'm bi

Newsies exchange for @jack-cowboy-kelly

Prompt: jack kelly realizing he’s bi (2011 broadway)

“Ok, but seriously, if you had to choose between Davey and Katherine, who would you go out with?” Jack could feel how the tension grew as the other boys processed Race's question. They'd been talking for the past three hours and had clearly run out of good topics. Medda was working late at the theatre so the kids were staying up late doing whatever. There were a few extra people since it was Friday night. Usually their entire group would've come over for movies, but this week half the group had to stay home and study for upcoming tests or were out of town for tournaments. This means that Elmer, Albert, Finch, Specs, and Romeo were all able to fit comfortably in the living room of Medda's apartment rather than being piled on top of one another. Jack, Race, and Crutchie all had their own rooms, but they rarely used them when friends spent the night.

“Race, that’s such a dumb question. First of all, Jack’s straight. Second, he literally just broke up with Katherine. Pick a better question or I’ll tell Medda you snuck out last night.” Crutchie muttered, barely awake. From what Jack could see, he was practically on top of a sleeping Romeo.

Jack rolled his eyes, “It’s fine Crutchie, no need to defend my honor or whatever." He paused to properly consider the question, "Umm… I guess I'd pick Davey, probably.”

“I knew it! You’re into Davey!” Race shouted, breaking into a grin.

“What the hell, Race. Quiet down, would ya? No need to wake up the entire building. Sheesh." Jack groaned as quietly as he could. In other words, not very quietly.

"No arguments about being into Davey, huh Jack?" Jack had no clue who said that and he didn't care. He was starting to find the conversation, as Davey might say, tiresome. Or maybe he was just tired.

"Shut up, you already know I'm not into Davey. I'm straight."

"Maybe you're bi."

"Or straight with an exception."

"What does that even mean?"

"Hey, everyone's bi for someone." Jack had stopped trying to keep track of the conversation or figure out who said what and just pulled out his phone.

"I don't think that's true."

"I read it online, it must be." Jack opened his messages. Medda had texted thirty minutes ago to say she'd be a little later than expected and not to stay up too late. He glanced at the top of his screen and sighed as he realized it was already 1am.

"Davey says you shouldn't read everything you see online." Davey hadn't texted yet to say goodnight, so he was either still studying or had passed out at his desk again. Jack's finger hovered over the call button.

"No, he says not to believe everything you read online, idiot."

"Whatever, Davey would agree with me."

"No way."

"Hey Jack, what're ya staring at? Are ya texting Davey?" Crutchie said. Jack looked up from his phone.

"Nothing. I mean, nobody. I mean… just mind your own business." He mumbled as he set down his phone. The room went silent, or rather, as silent as eight teenage boys could be. Romeo, Specs, and Finch had all fallen asleep at some point and at least one of them was snoring, Jack didn't care to find out who it was. Everyone else was trying, rather unsuccessful, to conceal their laughter.

After what felt like 15 minutes, but was probably only thirty seconds, Jack made the mistake of meeting Race's eyes. Race, who Medda had adopted only a year after Jack, was by far the boldest person Jack knew and never hesitated to make a joke out of anything. In this case, that meant grinning and wiggling his eyebrows as soon as Jack was looking at him. As he did this, he asked, "was it Davey?" in a tone that Jack couldn't quite place. Whatever it was, it caused the other boys to burst into laughter.

"Oh come on, guys," Jack groaned, "it wasn't even that funny." The laughter continued, so Jack took a moment to check the time on his phone, "you know what, we should really be getting to sleep. It's late and Medda will be home any minute."

"Yeah, he’s right. Besides, if Jack’s not ready to admit he's attracted to guys, he's not ready. No point in trying to force him out of the closet." Crutchie said, clearly trying not to start laughing again.

"Yeah, Crutchie's right. Jack will come out when he's good and ready. Goodnight." Albert responded.

"Yeah sure, whatever gets you all to shut up. Goodnight." Jack said, confident the whole thing would quickly blow over and be forgotten.

The conversation was forgotten for about two days. Jack and Davey were having lunch the following Monday when Jack remembered the conversation again. Jack was sketching while Davey was reading something online and writing notes. The silence was comfortable, but not quite what Jack was looking for at the moment. He was hoping Davey would break it, but that was quickly becoming impossible. With a sigh, Jack moved closer to Davey and rested his head on his shoulder. "What're ya doing?"

"Researching potential destinations for our grad trip." Davey responding without looking up from his laptop.

"Why?"

"'Cause the surveys are gonna be sent out soon and I want to be prepared."

"Oh, right."

"Did you forget? Would you like me to write down the most important points from my research?"

"Nope, don't need 'em. I already know where I wanna go."

"How do you know Santa Fe is even an option?" Davey's attention was now entirely on Jack. Jack had no idea how he knew this or why he cared, but it made him happy.

"I made sure it would be."

"How?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets. Anyways, you should look at schools there. We could get an apartment together."

"Right, I forgot you were going there after graduation." Davey looked back at his laptop.

"Aw, come on Davey. What's bothering you all of a sudden?" Jack asked, grabbing Davey's hand in an attempt to reclaim Jack's attention.

"It's nothing." Davey said blankly, though Jack thought he sounded defensive, as he tugged his hand away from Jack's.

"Dave, we both know it ain't nothing. What's wrong"

"It's nothing, really… it's just… Jackie, why are you so set on Santa Fe? You've been obsessed with that place since I met you and, I don't know, aren't you sick of that dream?" Davey had closed his laptop and was now facing Jack.

"I don't know why I'm set on Santa Fe. Maybe it's got something to do with my birth parents. Does it really matter? It's not like I'll lose contact with you and the others. We'll still talk and come back here to visit."

"Yeah, you're right. Besides, it's none of my business." Davey turned away, but left his laptop closed. This was why Jack hated this topic. For some reason, it always resulted in Davey closing up and pretending everything's fine even though he's clearly upset. The only way to help seemed to be to change the topic.

"You know, we missed you on Friday. I could've used someone to defend me," He said, nudging Davey.

"Oh yeah? Did Race start teasing you again"

"Yeah, so did the others. They were all convinced I was bi and into you. That's crazy right? I'm definitely straight."

If they hadn't been sitting so close and Jack hadn't been so focused on Davey, he might have missed the way Davey tensed for just a moment. "Right, yeah. That is crazy. I wouldn't worry about it though. They're just worried about you. They probably thought the breakup would bother you more than it has and think you're bottling stuff up or something."

"Yeah, that's probably it." Jack paused to look over Davey's face. He seemed fine, but something still felt off. "Oh well, next Friday you can be my knight in shining armor."

"Next Friday… umm, I actually can't make it next Friday either."

"Why not?"

"I'm meeting a guy for dinner and don't know if I'll have time to come over afterwards."

"Oh," Jack's chest suddenly felt incredibly empty and he had a strange urge to scream or run away or something. They spent the rest of their lunchtime talking with familiar ease, but something still felt wrong to Jack. It felt like something had changed and he had no clue how to change it back.

The next notable moment happened while Jack was meeting with Katherine for coffee that Wednesday. Even after breaking up, they had managed to remain on good terms. The breakup wasn't messy, they had just both realized they preferred being friends. At this moment, Katherine was jotting notes in her favorite notebook while Jack drew her.

"Hey Kath?"

"Yeah" Katherine said, looking up from her notebook.

"Have any of our friends been acting strange around you?"

"Not that I can think of, why?"

"They keep trying to push me towards a relationship-

"So?" Katherine interrupted, "I don't see anything strange about that, you should put yourself-"

"A relationship with Dave." Jack cut her off.

"Oh," Katherine paused, "but aren't you…"

"Straight? Yeah. Yeah, I am…" Jack said, nodding emphatically.

"You're sure?" Katherine responded, clearly enjoying the conversation, "because you flirt with all genders."

"What? Yes! Yes, I'm sure! And I flirt with everybody."

"Not everybody. You only flirt with people you find attractive."

"That's not," Jack's eyes went wide, "oh shit, that's true. Am I bi?"

"I don't know," Katherine took a sip of her coffee, "are you?"

"I don't know! How do you find out if you're bi?"

Katherine sighed, "ok, without thinking too hard about it, were you genuinely attracted to me romantically?"

"Yes."

"Would you date Davey?"

"Yes. Ooh… I'm bi."

"Great, there you go."

"Also, I think I like Davey… and I have to admit that Race was right."

Katherine nodded, "that's fantastic, Jack. I mean, Race will be a nightmare for a month, but eventually he'll forget about it. Now, I actually have to get going, but I'm glad I could help and I will see you this Friday."

"Yeah, see you Friday."

By Friday, Jack somehow hadn't spoken to Davey or told anyone he was bi. It's not that he didn't want to tell his friends, it just hadn't really come up. It finally came up during a game of truth or dare, which Jack really should've expected. Race had asked Jack every chance he got and Jack had finally gotten sick of choosing dare.

"Ok, Jack. Given the chance," Race began dramatically, "would you date Davey?"

"Yeah. Definitely." Jack responded without thinking. The room went silent as his friends tried to decide whether or not he was serious. As soon as he realized what he'd said, Jack's face went red. "I mean, not definitely like definitely, I'd absolutely date him, but, well umm… yeah, definitely…"

"Oh my God." Jack looked up when he heard Crutchie's voice to find Katherine laughing while the rest of the room was torn between shock and glee.

"Yeah, I'm bi. Are you happy?"

"Thrilled," Race responded.

"Does this mean you're going to ask out Davey?" Crutchie asked.

"It's too late, he's on a date."

"Wait, is that why he's not here tonight?" Albert - who was clearly still trying to get over the shock that Jack was no longer in denial - asked.

"He probably just got back. You should go to him," to no one's surprise, that was Romeo's contribution and, for once, it was the most helpful thing Jack had heard all night.

"Yeah… yeah, I'll be back soon," Jack said as he stood up, "Race, where are the-"

"The left pocket in my coat."

"Thanks."

By the time Jack arrived at Davey's house, he had planned at least five different speeches for asking Davey out and couldn't remember any of them. A part of him hoped Davey wasn't home yet so Jack would have time to figure out what he wanted to say. That, of course, was not the case. In fact, Davey opened the door before Jack had even finished knocking. He was still wearing his shoes and coat, so Jack assumed he'd just come back from his date. From somewhere inside, Davey's mother asked who it was.

"It's Jack," Davey yelled back, "I'm gonna go out again for a bit. I'll be back soon." With that, Davey joined Jack outside and closed the door.

"Hey," Jack said awkwardly.

"Hey," Davey responded. Jack wasn't entirely sure whether Davey was amused, confused, or somewhere in between.

"We can talk inside if you want, it's cold out here."

"Is fine, Jackie. You look nervous and I'm guessing you don't feel like being attacked by my younger brother." Jack chuckled, "so what's up?"

"Well, I…" Jack froze, his breath seemed to be stuck.

"Jack?"

"I… look, Dave, I know you just got back from a date and probably have a new boyfriend who's going to make you very happy, but I have to ask," Jack paused to study Davey's expression, "would you want to go out with me. On a date, I mean."

"Yeah, definitely!" Davey said, grinning, "I mean, uh, you're serious?" Jack nodded, "great, when? I'm free this Sunday."

"This Sunday would be perfect."

"Great, I'll see you then." Dave said, pulling Jack into a hug. "Actually, I'll see you tonight. I was gonna come over, so you mind giving me a ride?"

"Not at all."

"Awesome. So you're… bi?"

"Yeah, turns out I am."

"Congratulations," Davey hugged Jack again before whispering, "also, I wasn't on a date."

Ao3 link:

[ddarker-dreams]

In Your Eyes. Yan Izaya x Reader [COMM]

warnings: izaya orihara counts as a warning if im being honest. dude’s a jerk. word count: 3k.

7:12 PM. 

This isn’t the time of day that Izaya would normally close his services. Not when most of his clientele operate under the cover of night, crawling out from their day jobs and towards him. Izaya’s second monitor is a testimony to that. Message after message flooding in, notifications going ignored after a brief glance. The inquiries have a wide range. From a businessman wanting to know if the wife in his loveless marriage is cheating on him as he suspects, to the yakuza seeking information on a rival group that has been infringing on their territory. These people, deep as their pockets may be, occupy an insignificant role at the time. 

Izaya’s eyes flicker to the live feed coming in from outside his apartment. One sight in particular catches his attention, his lips quirking into a self-satisfied smirk. He stands from the leather chair behind his desk, stretches, and makes for the kitchenette. There’s a spring in his every step as he walks, fingers running over a variety of untouched teas. Earl grey, matcha, chamomile. Chamomile might be best here, he thinks. Izaya busies himself with boiling the appropriate amount of water. Any second now, he just needs to be patient… 

There’s a tentative knock on his door. 

Izaya already anticipated having a most prized visitor paying him a visit. The door was unlocked in advance, but the excitement in his veins is making it difficult to decide on what approach to use. Calling over to come in, or answering the door himself…? He decides on the latter. Playing the indifferent game is growing tiresome. When he swings the door wide open, Izaya’s greeted by the sight of you. You must not have been expecting such a swift response, as a cute gasp leaves your lips. Ah, how endearing a sight.

Not one to stand in silence for long, he extends an enthusiastic greeting. “Ah, [First]-chan, what a lovely surprise. Come in, come in.” 

You do as he instructs, an uncertain smile on your face. He notes how you scrutinize your surroundings. Eyes shifting to every wall, your posture remaining stiff as you remain focused on nothing in particular. After a moment of deliberation, your attention returns to him, and you bow your head.

“I hope I’m not intruding,” you let out a strained laugh, fixating on the soles of your shoes. “I’m sure you must be really busy, but, uh… I had some stuff I wanted to discuss. With you, that is.” 

“You’re in luck then, as I’m not doing anything at the moment,” Izaya pauses at the high pitched sound that signifies his water is done boiling. From how easily startled you are by the noise, he almost wants to tease you. Not yet, he decides. There’ll be time for that later. “Would you like some tea?” You nod your head. “If it isn’t any trouble.” 

He takes this time to recall the cryptic text message you sent him earlier. How much self restraint it took not to respond -- for the greater good, he reminds himself -- the contents catching his interest. You’ve been remaining purposefully vague. Is it to tantalize him? Keep him in the dark for some unknown reason? How interesting, the myriad of possibilities you bring to the table! Izaya’s own theories are plentiful. Hearing it from you beats anything his own imagination could concoct. It was a gamble that you’d actually come by today since he never responded, a test to see just how important this discussion is to you. 

It must be vital if you took the train from Ikebukuro to Shinjuku to get here, as he’s aware you have classes tomorrow morning. The day after that is clear of any university activities if memory serves. This further proves the point to Izaya that whatever it is on your mind must be taking high priority. How his heart flutters at the thought, anticipation rising as he whips together the tea. Humans once again exercise their adaptability, moving along in new directions, with just a tiny push from him. 

When he returns, cups of steaming tea in hand, you’ve already made yourself comfortable on his couch. Your legs crossed, hands clasping together on top of your lap. Izaya’s oncoming set up footsteps must not have been enough to alert you to his presence, so he clears his throat. Just like you did before, you startle, jumping in place. Izaya tuts at your reaction.

“It’s not good to keep zoning out like this, [First]-chan. What if you trip and hurt yourself on the way home? Now, I can’t be having that.” He teases while handing you your teacup. You wear a sheepish smile on your face, cheeks turning a rosy hue from his teasing. This might be the first time he’s ever seen you this out of it. Upon closer inspection, there are bags underneath your eyes, and your overall reaction time is sluggish. Hm…

Izaya takes a set beside you, likely closer than he needs to be, but you never protest. A loud sigh leaves your lips as you sink into his couch. “I sent you a text earlier, but I don’t think you ever saw it.” 

He nods his head in confirmation. The chamomile seems to be working its wonders already, your shoulders slumping down further. Easing you up in his presence has never been a simple task. 

“I’ve been thinking a lot recently,” you take another sip, wincing at how the hot liquid burns as it travels down your throat, “What I realized is that, maybe I do rely on others too much. When Miki went missing earlier this year, you said something similar, didn’t you? That there was a lot I couldn’t do. At the time, I didn’t want to believe you. I still don’t know if I do. So that’s why I wanted to ask if you still think that of me.” 

So that’s what is haunting your mind? A budding identity crisis? He wasn’t expecting something as ordinary as this, feeling almost taken aback that you’d come to him on the topic. Maybe it’s hypocritical of him to think that way. He often finds himself thinking back to the first time you showed up at his office, replaying your words and expressions in his mind like a projector. It’s unlike Izaya Orihara to be a sentimental person, yet he recalls your first meeting with immense fondness. 

- - -

Namie had almost dismissed you. She informed Izaya that there was no practical way you could afford these services, and that taking your appointment would be a waste of time for them both. A standard broke college student isn’t worth all the effort. And on a regular day, he would’ve been inclined to agree. Maybe it had been the boredom, as nothing of interest was brewing in Ikebukuro at the time. Whatever the reason, in retrospect, he’s grateful for the chance encounter. 

“A missing person’s case?” Izaya glances down at the coffee table, where you’ve laid out numerous personal pictures. All featuring the same girl -- Yamato Miki -- who you’ve come here today to seek help for. The job feels familiar, while simultaneously being unlike anything he’s been asked for at the same time. Information for the whereabouts of unsavory folk isn’t a rare request. This falls into a different category. You’re not asking out of ill intent, or he would’ve picked up on that by now. You weren’t lying when you said you were worried about the wellbeing of your friend. 

His eyes return to you shifting in your seat. “I’m curious. Why not go to the police about this instead of me?” 

From how your nostrils flare, he can piece it together before you even verbalize a response. This is the first question of his to earn such a blatant reaction. Everything prior, you had responded to the best of your ability, trying to keep your emotions in check. You steady yourself with a deep breath.

“I’d gone plenty of times, and none of them seemed to care in the slightest! Miki… she has a bit of a record, you see. Nothing serious, she wouldn’t ever hurt anyone, just stuff haunting her from her teenage years,” your gaze lowers, fists clenching by your side. “Since she used to run away from home a lot, they think it’s something like that.”

Izaya sees the pieces of this puzzle falling into place. It’s been about ten minutes since you came in, explaining your story, and his interest is starting to wane. There’s nothing that sticks out to him as unique. Maybe giving you the time of day was a mistake after all, like Namie suggested. Still, the question remains, why go to him specifically? You, a seemingly upstanding citizen, must surely have better options. 

He’ll entertain this charade a tad longer. It’s not like he has anything better to do.

“It’s not unreasonable to think that,” Izaya can’t help but agree with what the police had told you. The change in your demeanor is subtle, former timidity melting away. Greedy as it might be, he wants to see more of this unsightly side of you. So he continues prodding without relent. “People with troubled pasts such as your friend have next to impossible odds to overcome.” 

Your jaw’s clenching, he can see the imprints of how hard your fingernails dig into the palm of your hands. It’s simple to play someone like you to his own tune, he muses. Izaya just about had his fill of this. Maybe he’ll put a last nail in the coffin for good measure. Will you curse at him? Explode and yell? Break down crying? Storm off without a word?

“Chances are, she got in way over her head, and is currently laying dead in an alley somewhere. Or maybe she is somehow alive! In that case, what will you do then? If she couldn’t rely on you, her supposedly closest friend, why do you think that is? She either doesn’t trust you as much as you thought, or was taking advantage of your kindness all along.” Izaya can’t help the smile that curls onto his lips. Now that’s the look of despair he wanted! Being confronted with a fate you knew all along, and yet tried so hard to ignore. Only to fail, to be drawn into a vulnerable position of reality--

“So what?” The tone of your voice is eerily collected. You take a deep breath, glassy eyes refusing to break contact with his own, a sense of resolve keeping you in tact. Izaya tilts his head at this conjecture, as if to invite you to elaborate further. 

“So what if she might be as bad as you say she is? Miki is my friend. I don’t care for some arbitrary method of judging people based only on possibilities. I’ll see the truth for my own eyes and decide myself.” 

Well… to be honest, he was expecting an entirely different reaction. For you to scold someone like him is borderline laughable, yet here you are, doing just that. So why does he find himself even more drawn to you than before? There’s been passion ignited inside you by his own hands, social etiquette thrown to the wayside. Instead of letting this newly lit fire run rampant, you control the flame, refusing to burn as he intended you to. Izaya Orihara has never been one to back down from a challenge. Maybe this isn’t a waste of time after all.

Izaya leans in, resting his temple on his fist. “Pray tell, [First]-chan, what would you do in the event that I’m right? And your precious friend is involved with stuff she shouldn’t be?” 

“I’ll give her a good wakeup slap,” you place a finger to your cheek, considering the proposition. “Then chew her out for making me worry as much as she has. In the end, I want her to know that she can come to me with anything, even the worst she has to offer. That’s what friends are for.”  

A mindset like this is idealistic to say the least. Optimism has never been a field Izaya has excelled in, as he bases things on concrete reality. Is that even the correct label for your way of thinking, he wonders? You’re not ignoring the possible truth, making excuses for her, or even considering enabling her poor behavior. No, it’s a strikingly unusual approach, that takes far more patience than most people have to offer. The shift in outward demeanor from soft-spoken to this unrivaled confidence backs it up further. 

Izaya wants to know more about you. To peer behind the curtain that is your mind, poking and prodding at everything within reach. Seeing how much you can withstand before falling apart at his hands. It looks like you were wrong Namie, he thinks. This is turning out to be interesting. 

“If that’s the case, I’ll lend you my help.” 

You blink. “Y-you will…? But you just went on a tangent about how my ‘deadbeat’ friend isn’t worth the effort.” 

“What can I say? Your impassioned speech tugged on my heartstrings, [First]-chan,” he coos, a wolfish grin spreading across his face. “Maybe I’m growing soft after all. Alright, now let’s start with you giving me your phone number--” 

“Hold on!” you exclaim, putting up a hand. “I don’t need help from someone like you.”

Now it’s his turn to be thrown off by another person’s words. Maybe a taste of my own medicine, he thinks. 

Here he was, figuring you’d grovel at his feet for help. Now that he’s extending a hand out of what you should perceive as goodwill, you… don’t want it…? There’s no quick, witty response. The cogs in his head are turning, trying to comprehend this bizarre situation, and coming up with nothing satisfactory. He hears what’s most definitely Namie struggling to cover up a laugh in the distance. 

“Were you not just trying to convince me?” Izaya quirks up an eyebrow. That’s how he perceived your earlier lecture, as a way to bring him over to your side. For a rare moment, there’s no condescending lilt in his voice, only a genuine attempt to rationalize your actions. 

You’re already moving on from this loss, picking the scattered pictures up and returning them to your handbag. “Not really. I just didn’t like the thought of you looking down on someone without really knowing anything about them.” 

This time, Namie isn’t capable of muffling her laughter. Izaya sighs as he leans back into his couch. How troublesome you’re proving yourself to be. Do you not realize that a few phone calls from his behalf would be enough to ruin you for the rest of your life? Or maybe you do realize, and don’t care either way. Whatever the case, he’s not letting this go. It’s not everyday someone manages to leave him at a loss for words. 

“So it’s back to the police then, hm?” 

You shake your head at his guess, frowning. “I’ll just figure it out on my own. Thank you for your time, Orihara-san.” 

Now you’re standing to leave. Turning your back to him, you make for the door, leaving Izaya to try and piece together what’s happening to him. Izaya follows after you, intent on changing your mind. Anything to keep you close so he can continue observing. 

“What exactly are you planning on doing? It sounded to me like you had no leads or connections. I’m not sure how familiar you are with investigation work, [First]-chan, but you’re not off to a very good start.” Izaya calls over, successfully getting you to stop in place. It’s a relief to know he hasn’t lost his touch. You don’t look fully convinced, so he continues on.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re going to be helpless all on your own,” Izaya points out, your grimace growing deeper with every word. He’s getting somewhere, he just needs to reel you back in. “We wouldn’t want my earlier premonition to come true.” 

“I guess so,” you agree without enthusiasm, lips pursing. Izaya can’t help but feel satisfied with your compliance. Then you continue walking towards the door. “I need to give it some more thought. I’ll call your secretary this evening.” 

With that, you’re out of sight, the door shutting in his face. Hm. He doesn’t get the feeling you’re acting like this out of spite. No, you’re sticking true to your own convictions, trying to get a feel for how to best work things out. Izaya’s already planning to run multiple checks on you. He has a growing curiosity for knowledge on you that needs to be quenched. What school you’re going to, where you currently live, if you have a record--

“I can’t say I was expecting that,” Namie comments in her usual monotone. From the skin tightening underneath her eyes, Izaya can tell she’s still fighting back a smile. “Someone turning down your offer to help and lecturing you? I almost feel undeserving of such a wonderful sight.” 

Izaya sighs and runs a hand through his dark hair. “I’m glad you enjoyed your boss being berated so much.” 

“There’s almost nothing better,” she concurs with a nod. “When you’re finished standing there and moping, I already brought her social media up. I figured you’d want to see it after that display.”

This is enough to capture his undivided attention. The boredom from this week is a relic of the past, Izaya’s enthusiasm for human beings returning in full bloom. What a terrifying beast you’ve managed to awaken. You’ll make for a fascinating source of entertainment. He already finds himself looking forward to the next time you cross paths, Izaya confident in his ability to make this happen. He excels at interrupting the flow of people’s lives unprompted. 

- - -

The rest is history, so they say. 

Izaya’s whittled you down this far, creating a codependency that pleases him, a result of hard work on his behalf. You stare at him with doe-like eyes. Vulnerable eyes. Waiting with bated breath to see if he’ll confirm or deny your deepest concerns. 

He wraps an arm around your slouching shoulder. "Now that you have me, what you are or aren’t capable of on your own doesn’t matter anymore. Isn’t that right, [First]-chan?” 

“I... I guess it might be.”