#does everyone like the macaroni art I made

[imminent-danger-came]

MK: "We don't have any other option! We have to trust him." Red Son: "*laughs* Great speech noodle boy! Super motivational!"

(2x00 Revenge of the Spider Queen)

-

Red Son: "*laughs maniacally* I, Red Son, will bind the powers of the celestial artifacts with Spider Queen's own venom, save my father, and reforge the world as I see fit! *more maniacal laughter*" Mei: "Red Son that was amazing!" MK: "Such a good hero speech!" Red Son: "-Villain speech! And perhaps my best of all time!"

(2x00 Revenge of the Spider Queen)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "Save your hero speech child—I've existed long enough to know when it's over. MK: "You still think that the universe really wants anything, from any of us?" Lady Bone Demon: "Don't you?"

(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)

-

Sun Wukong: “ENOUGH! I’ve never let anyone dictate my destiny in the past, and I’m not about to start now. None of us are! We can’t change who we were yesterday or in a past life, or a hundred life times ago! We live with the choices we’ve made, for what matter is the choices we make RIGHT NOW! Only we decide who we are and what we do with the power we have!”

Curse MK: "Nice hero speech bud! But I know better—deep in your hearts, you don't believe a word of that."

(4x07 Pitiful Creatures)

-

Hero speech.

[lets-try-some-writing]

Random question, but how good do you think the ‘Bots and ‘Cons would be at cooking? Does the Matrix happen to have any tips or knowledge of the culinary arts? Would the kids be of any assistance to the ‘Bots, or would they also fail at cooking? For some reason I think Miko would be really bad at making anything with more than 5 steps but make a really good grilled cheese sandwich. You think they would fare any better at baking?

Heck yeah this is funny.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙

Cooking on Earth

As a general rule, cooking is not really a thing on Cybertron, at least not as it is on Earth. The process of creating energon based fuels and treats is more of a purification than any real chemical bonding or serious alteration as commonly seen in human culinary works. As such, when the team brought the children under their care and were then hit with the realization that they needed to fuel their small wards, issues arose immediately.

Arcee could hardly process normal energon, much less cook anything to save her life. The only human food she is capable of putting together is boxed macaroni and cheese. Even then, it still isn't all that good. She either adds too much butter or none at all. Her milk additions make dish look more like cereal than anything else and quite frankly she somehow manages to burn the noodles despite that fact that it should be nearly impossible. The children don't like her attempts at cooking, but if pressed, they will consume her noodle dish. She has attempted baking but has only succeeded in burning the wall in an attempt to quote "make sure the cake was fully baked".

She is not allowed in the kitchen alone. Ever.

Bulkhead has been met with limited success in all things gelatin. He can't make much else unless he is putting sauce on pre-ordered food, but gelatin he can do. On Cybertron he was known amongst the Wreckers for his banger jellied energon, even earning minor praise from Ultra Magnus. Thankfully for everyone, the same general concept applies to human jellied treats, and so Bulkhead is able to make gelatin without killing anyone. Of course his flavor profiles are rather... off. He has no clue what actually is constituted as good food for including in gelatin, but he tries his best.

Smokescreen and Bumblebee can make a mean grilled cheese, but only if they are working together. One must have their optics on the food while the other plays music in the background while grating cheese. If either of them get distracted or only one is present, the results are wild and worthy of a fire extinguisher. Bee has attempted soup before, and surprisingly, once in a blue moon he can make a really good potato soup. It is close enough to preparing energon rations that he can manage it occasionally. Smokescreen though? He has been given a lifetime ban from the stove. He somehow manages to make a really good salad despite that. It is largely just him throwing random green things in the fridge into a bowl, but it works generally.

Ratchet does not cook. Optimus has forbidden him to cook despite the Doctor wishing to figure out the strange science. The only time he tried cooking, he made actual poison and almost fed it to the kids thinking it was a nutrient dense supplement. Since then he has been confined to the realms of baking, which thankfully, is not too foreign since he can and has made spectacular energon goodies in the past. He knows how to work heat related tools well enough to make really good cupcakes. He can't do frosting though. Its always chunky or pure liquid sugar. Miko still eats them, even if they are a little burned sometimes.

Ultra Magnus can cook, on both Cybertron AND Earth. He just refuses to do so. Period.

Optimus for his part, despite his knowledge, can cook in theory. He knows how it should work, and so largely depending on the resources given to him and his level of focus, he can make a mean dish on Cybertron and Earth. His specialty on both worlds is a variant of shepherds pie, something he lived and vented back on Cybertron due to how cheap it was at the local restaurant. Of course the names of the dishes and the ingredients differ, but the concept remains the same. And so as long as the dish requires no decorum, Optimus can make it fairly well. However if asked to bake, the Prime physically cannot. The singular time he made the attempt, he came away covered in soot and with a lifetime ban from the baking items.

When it comes to the Decepticons, Megatron does not cook, period. On Cybertron he was a fantastic brewer of high grade, but that skill does not translate over well. On the Nemesis, he has a small personal brewing station where he will occasionally whip something up for himself. But that is a rare treat. He has taken the time to study human brewing methods though, largely out of a desire to mock their efforts. This of course led to some experimentation on his end, which in turn resulted in better high grade than what he was capable of producing before. He will never admit where the jump in skill came from.

Knockout and Breakdown love to make cake specifically. They can't even eat the stuff, but they like seeing how big and how grand they can make it. Hours are spent dutifully baking cakes to perfection, molding them, and then decorating them. Usually its done after Cybertronian sites, but off an on they will make human tourist locations out of cake. Breakdown also experiments with chocolate and has become relatively good at making realistic chocolate molds. These, along with Knockout's cakes, he takes to different places around the globe to donate. He may not be fond of humans, but waste is not acceptable.

Starscream is by far the best chef out of all present Cybertronians, and that is only because he fragging hates that Gordan Ramsey is better than he is at it. Starscream has devoted a ridiculous amount of time to cooking JUST so that he can curse right back at the human chef and prove himself superior. No, he does not know where it stemmed from. No, he cannot even eat what he makes. But frag it all he will get that beef wellington right or he will die trying. However against all expectation considering his considerable cooking ability on Earth, he can't cook on Cybertron to save his life. He never needed to, so he never learned.

Shockwave doesn't cook. He makes purified energon and that is all. He doesn't even bother learning anything else. Why would he? Its not like he can taste or appreciate anything complicated. Arachnid does not cook either, and that is largely because she sees it as beneath her. Soundwave is in a similar boat and does not bother... unless it comes to making cat treats. Those he will go through the pain of working with tiny human tools to manage in order to lure in the furry creatures.

Dreadwing can only make noodles. And only from the box. He has no explanation.

[cosmicstarlatte]

Pumpkin Carving (Obey Me!)

The guys want to try out pumpkin carving. How does it go?🎃

»Characters: Demon Bros+Dia, brief side characters as judges »Tags: Humor/Fluff, Bulleted Fic »Notes: Part of OM! Flufftober 2023 // reblogs are always loved & appreciated :3 // halloween divider by saradika!

Lucifer: The Show Off™️

Decided to go for an intricate design for his pumpkin

He worked carefully & put his entire lucifussy in it

It was beautiful watching him work his magic he looked like he was creating a symphony

However his pumpkin looked like mush in the end

Everyone laughed. Everyone. Satan & Belphie the hardest.

Solomon: "...it looks great Lucifer. I can see the hard work you-"

"Don't patronize me."

Mammon: Macaroni Art Vibes™️

Complained saying the whole thing was lame but he got really into it

"Heh, look at the little guy!"

It actually looked really cute for his first pumpkin, it had a simple silly face!

Took photos with it only because "it's the type of thing you're suppose to do!"

The judges liked his very much & he came in 3rd place🙂

"...Ya so where's my reward!?"

Levi: Limited Edition Collector's Item 2023: Akuzon Fall Exclusive™️

Geeked out because he always wanted to carve a pumpkin! JUST LIKE ANIMES!

Of course he had a ruri chan stencil already made, he was waiting for this day

His pumpkin actually looked really good & made with love! He even added glowsticks to it!

However dun dun dun, tragedy struck!

He dropped it before he could show the judges

Poor baby cried his eyes out & you guys had to buy him his favorite milk tea

Satan: The Smashing Pumpkins™️ (please don't sue me, thanks!!!)

A little too good with a knife

Made the best intricate design out of everyone, it wowed the judges (& pissed off Lucifer)

Then he started punching & smashing it, completely obliterating it

Beel tried to eat the flying pieces that flew into the air

Delicately placed a pretty candle on top of the mush as the finishing touch

Solomon: "...You know what I like it."

He came in 2nd place!

Asmo: Bedazzled & Bright™️

"It screams 'I AM the now' you know!?"

I mean, he added jewels & even a mini light up disco ball inside

He carved his face into it & it projected his face onto a wall

some say they saw it reflect on the night sky like a hero signal

Was Luke's favorite because it looked fun & bright!

Note: his pumpkin got stolen off the HOL porch during the night.

Beel: Frankenstein Era™️

I know what you're thinking & no he didn't eat it 😐

(Everyone made sure he was well fed before doing the group activity)

His pumpkin looked the silliest, he added mini pumpkins to it & stacked them

Solomon: "What do you think would happen if we brought that thing to life?"

Barb: "Don't."

He did snack on the few pumpkin pieces that got carved out

...OK yeah he ate it all in the end but that was later!!! Leave him alone! He tried so hard!!!

Belphie: BANKSY™️

Didn't really want to participate but whatever brother Lucifer says, goes.

While everyone carved & decorated their pumpkin, he just napped on his like a pillow

Lucifer scolded him for doing nothing to his pumpkin

Belphie challenged him saying it was a work of art & up to interpretation

The judges 'ooo & ahh'd'

His pumpkin came in 1st place

LuciferGrindingHisTeeth.jpg

It's possible Lucifer chucked the pumpkin into oblivion when no one was looking

Diavolo: THE Pumpkin Face™️

"You can't beat the classics!"

Wanted to do a classic pumpkin face to keep human tradition! He appreciates human culture!

He took his time, stenciling was fun & cutting was a little rough

It got a little messy but he enjoyed it

The pumpkin ended up being a thing of nightmares but no one had the heart to tell him

(Barbatos cringing in the background)

Luke fainted at the sight. Dia naively took it as a sweet compliment

⬦You might also like: Costume Shopping Coconut︱Waffle House︱

[playertwotails]

Per the poll I put out I'm gonna ramble about how Tails displays his genius vs how Eggman does.

It's long so under the cut it goes

We'll start with Eggman. Now Eggman clearly has a complex. He's talked about being compared to Maria his whole life which has made him want a lot of attention. Which a valid feeling but then Eggman being Eggman takes it to the ^nth degree.

See he has to make sure EVERYONE knows how smart he is. He plasters his face over everything he makes, names everything after himself to some degree, and is loud bragging all the time about his latest greatest creation and everyone being inferior to him and his genius.

He's gonna make sure that people recognize him and what he's done no matter what.

With this mindset, all of his creations are only for the benefit of he, himself and no one else. Every invention he creates falls under 3 categories.

Expanding the Eggman Empire

Kill Sonic

Or both

Even when he has "allies" he very rarely gives them any of his inventions unless they directly benefit himself (hello start of the Zombot arc). His selfishness and self importance has him only making things that fuel his own desires and wants.

On the flip side of this though we have Tails.

Now Tails also has houses that look like him and has his own logo (and I'll get into that a little later). But in contrast to Eggman Tails doesn't brag much about his creations. He'll be proud of them and talk about them but never in a condescending manner.

(Side note: off the top of my head I think the only times we may have seen a slightly more condescending tone is a few times when he's talking to Sonic but it always came off as more of a "little sibling being a little shit" kinda tone)

Tails showing his friends his inventions is never in a "Look how much better than you I am cause I made this" kinda way. It's always felt more like a kid showing people their macaroni art cause they're proud they were able to make it. (which he is 8 so def fits lol)

And half the time his inventions are for the benefit of not only himself but all their friends, allies and just other people in general. He makes things to share and help improve what people already have to make their lives easier/safer. I mean look what he did to Sonic's plane. and their communication devices.

Now onto my next point: Quality over Quantity

So switching back to Eggman, he gets so focused on making these massive armies and sprawling cities/bases with his face plastered and designed into everywhere he's not gonna be able to do that by himself. So most of his creations are made in production lines not by his own hands.

Most of the time when we see Eggman he's not making something he's at a control panel directing things to be made. He's very hands off with the majority of his own creations with the exception of his more one of a kind creations like Metal Sonic.

Meanwhile we see Tails is always fiddling with things, taking them apart, and improving them, sometimes it's Eggman's own creations Tails messes with. Tails is typically shown to be very hands on. And yeah his house and inventions have his logo or face on them but their all one of a kind, hand crafted creations not massive bases that go on for miles (lol). So it feels more like a signature than an announcement like Eggman's does.

Now bringing this all together it comes down to the one person Tails is boastful to and constantly saying their not as smart as him --- Eggman.

Now, Eggman on multiple occasions has recognized how smart Tails is but we rarely if ever (off the top of my head) see Tails saying the same about Eggman.

Most of the time Tails is roasting him about shoddy craftsmanship and how Eggman's plans are dumb. One thing I've noticed too is we always see Tails hacking and messing with Eggmans tech but we've never really seen the reverse as far as I can recall.

Heck we've seen multiple time Tails taking apart Eggman's machines and talking about how weird and unorganized all his bots insides. We've seen Tails casually hack into Eggman's networks in the middle of fights.

Which brings us back to the quality over quantity thing. Because Eggman's armies and bases are mass produced mostly at this point so the craftsmanship quality goes down. Eggman is a genius for sure but even if his designs are great since he's not behind every robot creating them, his own genius suffers. He's too busy trying to make it big and loud that what's actually produced it of a lesser quality.

And then we have Tails who is one on one with all his creations and that makes them harder for Eggman to destroy cause Tails can personally check everything is up to snuff for all his inventions. (meanwhile too Tails rips Eggman's robots apart for extra screws probably)

I just think that it's very funny that while Eggman goes to great lengths to show the whole world he's smarter than everyone else, Tails just needs Eggman to know he's smarter then him.

[monkeyparasite]

pathetic imagines, part one ig

Murdoc is trying to impress you, so he does the splits and his pants rip, revealing hes not wearing his old man tidy widys, he has no underwear on whatsoever. he feels a sudden raft of air in his buttcrack, he tries to get up but he fails, so he just crawls on the floor like a little roach, dragging himself on his belly, tears streaming down his face as his green face now has a tint of slight dark red. He retreats into his winnabago where he sobs for the rest of the night and orders 20 pairs of new jeans, spamming you with messages on how hes so so sorry and how he will model the new jeans for you

2D has learned a new "magic trick", so he decides to show it to you. Pointing a flashlight at his eye, he flicks it on. The bright light scars him, sending him falling back wailing in pain, hes rolling on the floor now, you better take him to the doctor. Hes still crying, why he wailing for his mother what- please help this boy oh my god

You and Russel had the wonderful idea of going to a big stew party, where everyone helps make the gianormous pot of stew, bringing spices, meats, veggies, and more yum yums. You brought whatever delicay you'd prefer or liked to, while Russel's input to the dish remained a mystery to you. At the grand ending, you realize Russel has not added anything to the dish, but before you can say anything, Russel has alreadly climbed the metal steps up the big bubbling pot of fresh warm stew. He throws his long coat he has been wearing ever since you came here behind him, revealing a two piece bikini. Mortifed, your frozen with fear, unable to stop Russel of his grand move: Jumping into the pot beautifully off the ladder like its a diving board, he dives head first into the stew, he is now one with the stew

It was never strange for Noodle to make you things, like macaroni art and such. But she had something even bigger planned, she swore up and down and would refuse to talk about anything else to you, saying how much of a big surpise it would be and how much you would love it. One day, she hands you an abnormally medium sized box, opening it, you see that its a.. sweater? Putting it on, she brings Katsu into the room, also wearing a sweater that was the exact color of your hair.. Looking at your own sweater, you notice that it matches Katsu fur color palette. Trying to not jump to conclusions, you ask Noodle what the sweater she made for you was made with, her respone only confirming your fears, it was in fact, a sweater of Kastu's shedded hair. Overwhelmed with discomfort, you don't ask what Katsu's sweater is made of, I think we all know what it is anyways

Waking up in the middle of night, wanting a mid night snack, you creep into the kitchen to seeAce at the stove, in only his nightgown, long night cap, and bunny slippers. You creep closer to him, seeing that their is a metal candle holder with a lit candle in it, sitting next to the stove, on the counter. He whispers a singular sentence, shaking you to your core, "Popeyes biscuit, no drink". You rush as quietly as you arrived, for your midnight hunger is no longer present due to that horrifying thought

[mxstball]

Thanksgiving 2023

The residents of Sky Pillar and Spear Pillar were gathered together in a Mirage Island having dinner. Since it was a large crowd, it wasn't a big surprise that the host dragon decided to host it at a table in a grassy Mirage Island. The table that Heidi created housed the bulk of everyone, although those that couldn't sit at the table were off to the side having a sort of picnic together. All sorts of Unovan-type foods were served at the location: different types of meats for meat enjoyers, macaroni and cheese, collard greens, several vegan and vegetarian-friendly dishes, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie, mashed potatoes, and much more. There were also some specially prepared meats that were being served at the picnic, primarily for some of the Pokémon guests.

Leaf was enjoying some of the macaroni and cheese. "So, you and Rayquaza made most of this? How long have you guys been cooking this?"

"Oh, all day and also yesterday, too!" Jeanne nodded. "This is the first time Father and I cooked together at this big of a scale and where he let me take most of the reins!"

"Must have been a lot of pressure. Rayquaza's probably one of the best cooks I've met that's not like, owning his own restaurant." Leaf nodded.

"You'd think, but it hasn't been! Ever since I took up the culinary arts 30 years ago, I've always dreamed of a day like this -- where Father and I would be in the kitchen together for something of this scale. So, it's just a dream come true!" Jeanne giggled.

"Hehe. Then, I'm glad that you got your wish~" Leaf giggled, too.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the table, Kathy and Tor were talking.

"So, you said that Nergal likes to bake?"

"Pastries mostly, uh-huh."

"What's your favorite?"

"Oh, uh... there's this bagel called 'Wishes of the innocent'."

"...Wishes of the Innocent?"

Tor nodded.

"What in the heck?" Kathy wasn't expecting THAT at all. "What's it like?"

"Oh, it's like, kind of a plain bagel, but with uh... four types of cream cheese together? It's really good."

"Sweet and without blemish, just like the wishes of the innocent." Nergal suddenly appeared next to Tor.

Both Kathy and Tor jumped.

Nergal chuckled. "What? Does the name not fit?"

"I guess, but that's some naming scheme you got there, Eternatus."

Nergal nodded. "Thank you. Thank you. I quite like it as well. Maybe I can make it for you someday, Katherine."

"....And risk you whisking me away to another world again? I'll have to think long and hard about that."

---

"...."

"...."

Melony and Hel have been eating, they've been staring at each other. Ever since the battle within their Distortion World, they've quickly learned so much about each other. Who knew that they were essentially the same person, sharing the same Distortion World and sharing the same True Form. Who knew that they were just vessels of a larger, eldritch creature. The two felt whole together, and yet they each had more questions... not for each other, but for the beast that made them.

But that'll have to wait. The two friends would just continue to eat as they looked at each other.

Lauren was looking at the duo as well. For a moment, she considered whether or not to say anything. After all, she did hear what happened when they first met each other. Were they rivals, friends, something else...? However, she did eventually speak up. "Uh, Melly? Can you pass the cranberry sauce?"

"Ooh! Y--yes. I can do that." Melony grabbed the cranberry sauce and moved it within Lauren's reach.

"Thanks." Lauren served herself some and looked between the two of them. "Uh... Melly, Hel..."

Melony and Hel turned to Lauren.

"Is everything alright between the two of you?"

Hel nodded and smiled at Lauren. "We are. It's just the first time that we've met each other since we received some important information. Don't worry."

"Important information?"

Melony nodded. "Hel and I are but the same person. We are not the same as, say, Hera and Heidi. Instead, we are two pieces of a larger whole -- think of a relationship closer to Heidi and Lacey. As such, we are... still trying to process that information."

Hel continued. "While this information is new to us, that does not change the fact that Melony and I consider each other as friends. That's why I decided to visit in Hera's stead -- in part to check up on Melony."

"Two parts of the same whole?" Lauren blinked. "But your worlds aren't from the same place. How does that work?"

Hel shook her head. "We... don't know. We're trying to understand that ourselves... but I'm sure that once we learn, you'll be one of the first people we'll share with our findings."

---

Lillie and Zinnia were eating together... well, it was more that Zinnia was eating, and Lillie was moreso playing with her food.

It didn't go unnoticed by the Lorekeeper.

"Hey, Lillie."

"Huh? What is it, Zinnia?"

"Something on your mind? I know you're not the type to scarf down a meal, but you're not the type to just play with your food, either."

"... No, I'm... I'm fine." Lillie looked down and back towards her food.

"..." Zinnia filled her own plate again. "...It's about your bio dad again, isn't it?"

"H--huh?"

"Lacey told me what happened. Said that you chased a rumor that your dad was alive, but when you found him, it turned out to be a Mohn of another world."

"H--huh? H--how--"

"She was there when it happened, though it was more to chase down your Ranger friend than anything."

"Oh." Lillie sighed but then nodded to confirm Zinnia's suspicions.

Zinnia was quiet for a moment as she ate a little bit of mock turkey. "You know... I know how it feels in a way, though not with my father."

"What do you mean by that?"

"...I... have a friend that's in this world. She's... a faller, just like Lacey... but she's also the parallel version of a friend that I lost a very long time ago."

"Oh, wait. Is that--"

"Aster, yeah. Remember her?"

"I do. It's... been a while since she's been around. How is she doing?"

"Aster? She's alright. Said that she's keepin' it low in Alola, but that she'll probably be there during the holiday."

Lillie nodded. She smiled a little but went back to playing with her food.

The two were quiet for a while as Zinnia continued to eat.

...

"Hey, Lillie?"

"Yes?"

"Keep your chin up, alright? I'm sure that if he was taken through an Ultra Wormhole, we'll find him eventually. I know that he and the rest of your bio family mean a lot to you, so if Lacey's not actively helping you out, then if you don't find him by the time we're done this whole thing with Goldie, then dad and I will work hard to help you find him, alright?"

Lillie nodded. "Thank you, Zinnia. I... really appreciate it."

---

Aphrodite-Zygarde was temporarily taking her 50% Forme at the picnic. She felt as though it was nice to get away a little from the main group for a little while and enjoy some of the special food.

Delphox, Salamence, Magearna, and other Pokémon were also there. They each seemed to be peacefully enjoying themselves.

Aphrodite was silent as she was eating, but there was so much on her mind. She knew that Dawn was not long for this world... that sooner or later, Dawn will pass away and Friede would once again directly threaten this world. While she trusted Heidi to be prepared enough to help handle the situation, Aphrodite couldn't shake off the dread that came with it. After all, the stakes were high -- either they would defeat Friede... or this world and everyone in it would be destroyed.

Were their contingency plans enough to minimize the damage? Could this be the end of them? Was it even possible to try to fend this world off themselves without Heidi should she perish? Despite the planning and the assistance, Aphrodite still felt uneasy about the unknowns of the situation.

...But maybe it was just her nerves. Maybe she just needs to have more faith in Heidi. Heidi's her best friend and a dependable ally. She's smart, resourceful, contemplative, and empathic. She's sure that Heidi must think of this as much as she did.

Aphrodite let out a deep breath and continued eating, being sure to pet each of the creatures that she was with to reassure them.

---

Heidi, Rayquaza, and Lati were eating together at the head of the table. For the most part, they were silent together outside of a small interaction or two. It's not like they were compelled to talk, however. They each were just happy to see everyone else get along.

Heidi grabbed her second plate before looking at Rayquaza and finally trying to strike conversation. "I'll give it to Jeanne. She's really good at cooking."

That is my daughter for you. Even I am impressed by her techniques. She spent so much time preparing so much of this food. I am so proud of her.

Heidi chuckled a little. "Maybe she can give her father a run for his money~"

Rayquaza chuckled.

Perhaps, but I would like to see her try.

The two smiled at each other.

Lati ate more of their own plate before looking at each of their parents. It was nice to see everyone together like this again. This scene made them really happy!

Heidi looked back at Lati. "...Who knows, maybe even Lati over here may surpass you in time~. Now, that'd be a twist of fate, wouldn't it?"

Rayquaza and Heidi laughed together. It felt a little like old times.

"...Hey, Rayquaza."

Yes, Heidi?

"Thanks... for all of this. I remember when I experienced this for the first time. I thought that this whole idea of stealing a holiday from Unova was really stupid, but..." Heidi shook her head. "I guess over time I started to really like it, and now that I'm no longer here, it's... nice... to have a holiday to celebrate and appreciate the family like this."

Rayquaza nodded.

I understand. There is no need for thanks. I am simply... grateful that you have decided to agree to come, and that we have remained to be friends.

Heidi smiled. "I'm... thankful for our friendship, too. Lati, seems to be, too~"

Lati let out a little noise in agreement.

"..." Lati looked at both of them.... "[(Th--thank you... Mama... Th--thank you... Papa--)]"

!!!!!

Hearing the dragon talked shocked both of them, even enough to break Heidi's disguise! Did... did Lati just speak!?

[littleaxebad]

This is for @kolchekyourweapons only. Everyone else has to keep scrolling.

I meant for this to be funny but it went somewhere else instead...

ERIC DOES ARTS AND CRAFTS

“Is that glitter glue?”

“My therapist suggested trying to creatively express myself and I find that it centres me.”

“You don’t have a… you mean your physical therapist, don’t you?”

“It does make her advice any less valid.”

Clarice looks over Eric’s shoulder. He moves to block her view but she’s already seen his attempts to write his name in cursive, in glitter glue.

“Whatever floats your boat, man,” she taps the back of his chair with her briefcase, “but we’re gunna be late.”

~~~

“One of these days I’m going to walk in here and you’re going to be macrame-ing yourself a new foot.”

“Macaroni is for eating,” Eric responds without looking up. Clarice doesn’t bother to correct him.

“Live, laugh, CAELUS? Seriously?”

“Rachel’s mother has at least three of those Live, Laugh, Love signs in her house. One in the bathroom.” Eric responds, like that explains what he’s doing at all.

“Is… this about Rachel?”

“No.”

“Man, you gotta leave her alone. It takes two to tango.”

“I can tango perfectly fine on my own.”

Clarice considers this for a moment and decides it would probably be hilarious. 

“You’ll have to show me sometime, Romeo, but right now we have a date with the board.” 

~~~

“You always do this right before a meeting.”

“It centres me.”

“Yeah, I remember. Why glitter glue though?”

“It’s all I can get from that supermarket across the road. Glitter glue, pipe cleaners and those fuzzy little balls.”

“Have you considered expanding your medium - drawing with a pencil maybe.” “I’m not an artist, Clarice.”

Clarice looks down at the gold and glittery ‘Eric King’ written in flowery letters across Eric’s attache` before clapping him on the shoulder.

“Maybe, maybe not - but you are late.”

~~~

Eric isn’t buried in the usual artistic mess when Clarice walks into his office. Instead, it looks relatively clean, and Eric is standing with his back to the door, speaking to someone in a three piece suit and brogues you could probably eat off. She clears her throat.

“Ah, Clarice, this is Professor Anthony Brown, he’s come to oversee the presentation today. Professor, this is my assistant, Clarice Stokes.”

“Doctor Stokes,” Clarice clarifies forcefully. Honestly, Eric would forget his own head if it wasn’t attached to his body. He at least has the decency to look a little bit guilty this time. But it turns out the Professor has heard of Dr. Stokes, and Eric is left behind in the conversation. The presentation goes well.

~~~

The next time Clarice walks into Eric’s office, he pointedly ignores her, and continues dedicating his attention to what appears to be an architectural outline of a house, done in red glitter glue. Clarice slaps him on the shoulder, none too gently, and the glitter smears a few centimetres.

“Are you butt-hurt because that old guy liked me more?”

“No,” Eric pouts unconvincingly. 

“Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to get respect in this industry? That one person out of the dozens who come here might be more interested in academics than your experiment gets you so strung up is very telling, Eric. I’m not surprised Rachel doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“Hey, that’s none of your fucking business,” Eric snaps, standing.

“You’ve made it my business - you talk about it often enough that I remember every damn detail of your separation - but you can’t even remember to put “Doctor” in front of my name.”

Eric doesn’t appear to have a response, and visibly deflates under Clarice’s fire.

“Come on, Colonel,” she turns to leave, “we’re late.”

~~~

“You’ve bought every colour of glitter glue we have. I am sorry, sir, but there are no more colours left.”

“Hmm… what about black?”

~~~

“Have you seen my briefcase?”

Eric has his head down over, not a craft project, but notes for the next board meeting. This time they might be early.

“It’s over there,” he waves a hand vaguely to a table covered in bits of failed CAELUS. Clarice spots it easily enough and traverses the cramped room in a few strides to retrieve it. She doesn’t remember leaving it in Eric’s office…

She didn’t leave it in Eric’s office. In glittery black letters across the top of the case, in beautiful cursive, it says “Doctor Clarice Stokes”, and Doctor is underlined. 

Clarice sighs out through her nose and crosses back to Eric. She squeezes his shoulder gently, and thinks she feels him lean ever so slightly into the touch.

“Come on, Captain, lets get there first for once.”

“Right behind you, Doctor.”

[fandomregression]

Hey, I dunno if you still take requests. But if so then could I please get some regressor headcanons for Adrian from Miraculous Ladybug?

omggggg okay i love love love adrien as a regressor yesssss

so, we can all guess why this boy regresses...he has Issues. he regresses around 3-7, so a pretty big range

he loooooooves playing, and he loves making messes. playing with paints, splashing in mud puddles, macaroni art, anything at all that he wouldn't have really been able to do as a kid

adrien doesn't do well when he's alone and little, and even if it's just plagg with him he doesn't have the best time. before anyone actually learns about his regression, he has a ladybug doll that he plays with and pretends she's there to take care of him.

however, his friends do eventually find out that adrien regresses. when they all come over for a group project and adrien forgot to put away all his gear, obviously questions popped up. "why do you have a sippy cup, bro?" "is that a ladybug doll? cute!" "do you always sleep with a baby blanket?"

of course, adrien is super embarrassed and doesn't know what to do. how are you supposed to handle this?? how is he gonna handle losing his friends over something like this?? he has a bit of a meltdown and ends up crying, spilling his heart out, and of course everyone collectively wishes to cause physical harm to gabriel agreste, not for the first time.

marinette doesn't quite know what comes over her, but seeing adrien so upset and scared...puts a bit of motion into her. and she's the first to hug him, to sit down with him and offer his blankie. she just holds him until he stops crying, and promises that none of them will think differently of him for something like this

which is how marinette ends up being little adrien's favorite person

unfortunately for her, that moment of bravery was only for a moment, and now she's flustered any time someone brings it up. and adrien doesn't know, he's too happy that marinette is so gentle and kind to him

he's just such a sweetie, even when he acts up she can't get upset with him. if she gets upset, he picks her flowers, and all is forgiven. yes adrien Does realize this and uses it to his advantage

(and after the reveal, marinette sneaks in "my kitten" as her favored nickname for her kitty. adrien loves it and melts every time)

(and, lastly, plagg is no longer allowed to babysit. he is not responsible enough to watch a kid, not after a pan of brownie soup made adrien super sick, and plagg encouraged mattress surfing down the stairs)

[starlightshore]

barring the no mercy route being an influence in this case, how would you describe chara's personality? I cannot describe them well at all despite them being my favorite character. they're too complex lol. all of the meta i can find at this time as them described at both extremes of innocent & evil but i don't think that's accurate

TW: discussions of canon dark topics such as abuse , death and suicide

i love talking about chara, i've talked about them at length before lmao. thank u for giving me a chance to talk about my beloved child.

you can actually read a character exploration i'm doing in a mini-arc for Askfallenroyalty. actually, if you want one condensed post, this comic sums up chara's motives

My interpretation:

chara is an abused kid and suicidal kid*(1) who ran to mount ebott to die.*(2) upon learning that monsters are made of love and humans aren't*(3), chara began to hate humanity. the deltarune prophecy*(4) makes them to be The Angel despite being a human. Feeling undeserving of this title and obligated to fulfill it, Chara wanted to be a good kid more than anything.

But then the buttercup pie incident happened. They've accidentally*(5) poisoned asgore and came up with a plan to ensure the prophecy could be fulfilled and take a hit against humanity. Two birds with one stone -who cares if it's also a personal win too? then obviously the plan goes up in flames and they and asriel are murdered. then asgore wants to kill of all humanity.

your influence*(6) gets Chara onto a path of redemption or a path of destruction, mirroring the deltarune prophecy's two main interpretations.*(7)

in summery: chara is a scared kid trying to fit into a world that demands violence by the past actions of the previous generations. The war massacred monsters and locked them up with a kill-solution -ensuring that further violence would be needed to be free, thus continuing the cycle of violence.

chara is just a kid. they knit, they make macaroni art, they loved their family and had a best friend forever.* (8) but they're also vengeful, they cared so deeply for monsterkind they were ready to die and had no idea they'd be awake as a soul, they were prepared for death. they're complicated, you can't have one side without the other. while i’ve never wanted to murder anyone, i can still relate deeply to chara and see myself in them a lot. the tragedy of them -the fact they never really got a “happy ending” like everyone else just haunts me and it’s why I spend so much time making AFR. I just... love this character so much, i want this kid to be happy. (not that it could ever be easy to get there, happy endings aren’t free.)

And frankly, seeing this hurt kid get demonized just rubs me the wrong way, and it feels completely against the morals Undertale tries to tell with it’s story. I see it as a cautionary tale against violence and dehumanizing others for the sake of hate and violence. how kids can be influenced by the violence -or kindness around them. you don’t need to forgive the ones who hurt you, but killing them is not always the solution -though sometimes necessary as framed in the Undyne the Undying fight.

People get both Undertale’s themes and chara wrong the most, and for the game that’s meant the world to me it bothers me more than it should lol. It’s a Good Story, and I don’t mean to frame my interpretation of the character or themes as 100% canon and I know Mr.Fox’s brain to confirm it kinda deal, but with all the time I’ve spent analyzing and thinking it over I do think it’s not off in the general direction of it lol. And besides the author’s intent isn’t really the end-all-to-be-all. It’s what you get out of the story and the themes that matter and stick with you. No one can take that away from you.

Sources and evidence:

"* If you're cuter, monsters won't hit you as hard." -faded ribbion flavor text * "The ends of the tools have been filed down to make them safer." -gardening tools in New Home (and iirc Toriel's home as well, too lazy to double check rn) * Where are the knives. -no mercy chara (this and paired with the previous imply there are no sharp objects in reach of chara's home because chara can't be trusted with sharp objects out of self harm. This doesn't necessarily mean abuse but paired with them hating humanity so deeply, being suicidal and a child it paints a picture of abuse.

"* I know why (chara) climbed the mountain.* It wasn't for a very happy reason." -asriel post pacifist epilogue dialogue

"* Love, hope, compassion... * This is what people say monster SOULs are made of. * But the absolute nature of "SOUL" is unknown. * After all, humans have proven their SOULs don't need these things to exist." -Library book on monster souls)

* Legend has it, an 'angel' who has seen the surface will descend from above and bring us freedom. - gerson

"* It takes at least a human soul... * And a monster soul. * ...* If you want to go home... * You'll have to take his soul. * You'll have to kill ASGORE." -Alphys. Because boss monster souls are the exception and can persist after death for a short period of time, Chara could of killed any of the family members to escape the underground. this implies escaping wasn't the goal -it was to die (considering they already attempted suicide to fall underground the first time, this is explicitly suicide.) the plaque doesn't mention or speak like monster/human fusion's consumed soul would be aware. chara had no way of knowing they'd be awake. also the whole thing with the pie is a prank. cups of butter. -> buttercups. putting flowers in a pie is a joke to do, we see Chara is similar to Toriel (they mimic her speech in the no mercy monologue, they say “greetings” as she does like how Asriel says “howdy” like Flowey does. Chara makes puns and jokes in the flavor text all the time.

https://imgur.com/a/zP18P -dog food bag at different LV. "When the protagonist first encounters Mad Dummy, they are given the option to beat it up. Choosing to beat it up prompts one of three responses depending on the protagonist's LOVE." (source: undertale wiki)

If the protagonist’s LV is 1, the response becomes "(You tap the dummy with your fist.) (You feel bad.)"

If the protagonist's LV is between 2 and 4, the response becomes "(You hit the dummy lightly.) (You don't feel like you learned anything.)"

If the protagonist’s LV is between 5 and 7, the response becomes "(You sock the dummy.) (Who cares?)"

If the protagonist’s LV is 8 or higher, the response becomes "(You punch the dummy at full force.) (Feels good.)"" This implies Chara (who is the narrator) will feel different about the dog food -which references the classic phrase of "glass half empty/full" showing your out look in life. Then hitting the dummy show's Frisk's out look on violence depending on LV. Note that by the end of it, it's no longer "you feel..." but "feels good" This is Chara.

      7. “* Lately, the people have been  taking a bleaker outlook...* Callin' that winged circle the  'Angel of Death.' “ -gerson “* Only the fearless may proceed. * Brave ones, foolish ones. * Both walk not the middle road. “ -the first plaque in the first puzzle room with Toriel. The idea is to walk on both the left and right sides -you can’t go half way in the middle. this mirrors the “true” endings are only accomplished if you stick to no mercy or pacifist only.

     8. literally their home in New Home is a treasure trove of pre-game chara characterization.

[katyobsesses]

Katy my darling <3 I have a very fun ask for you!! What method of arts do each glee characters prefer and what is their favorite thing to create?

oooooo this is a fun ask!

I'm gonna do S2 New Directions for now, but may add S3-6 ND or other characters later 💛 (warning... this is LONG)

Artie: Film. 100% film. He loves using visual media to tell a story, he also really gets into the sound design side too when he learns it in College. He loves making music videos and after Uni that's mostly what he does. He also directs a lot of movie musicals and musical TV shows. Basically he loves making visual media for songs.

Blaine: Performing - mostly singing. He also love writing songs, which we never see in the show but I can imagine him learning about songwriting in NYU and loving it as a way to express his feelings. it's like a step up from using someone else's words to express them.

Brittany: Obviously dancing! I like to think that after marrying Santana she either goes to college for Dance, or maybe owns a dance studio/goes on tour with Mercedes a lot (with Santana as a guest singer) She really loves teaching little kids how to dance, she knows how to interact with them on their level and the kids love her.

Finn: Singing? I honestly can't think about what he likes. Like singing is the closest thing. He sings in the shower a lot and obviously he loves singing on stage. But he's not that much of an art person outside of that. He likes consuming it but not making it.

Kurt: Sewing, obviously, as well as sketching clothes. He loves making accessories for friends - scrunchies for the girls, bow ties for Blaine, a dog bandana for Sam's golden retriver (because you know he gets one) etc. - but he also loves designing and making costumes for small productions. Maybe he volunteers/works with a small theatre troop and makes & designs all of the costumes while also performing.

Mercedes: Mercedes likes making cards for everyone for Christmas and Birthdays. It started because she'd forgotten to buy a card for someone but had some card and pretty pens on hand and it spiralled from there. She now owns a fancy die pressing kit and lots of card toppers and pretty glitter pens and washi tape and all of that. She has a small kit she brings on all of her tours, it helps relax her after a show - making cards for the crew as a thank you/maybe selling some for charity because she makes so much? When she finally gets back together with Sam they both work together to make Christmas cards from them with cute pictures of themselves in terrible christmas jumpers and their golden retriver in a Kurt made bandana and later their kids in matching outfits.

Mike: Like Brittany he's a dancer first and formost. That's his art. He later goes on to be a professional on Dancing With The Stars where he reconnects with Matt on set (maybe they even get together in the end and the DWTS fans love their relationship and their jokingly competative instagram stories) He loves creating a story with only movement and music. Mike also really likes doodling.

Puck: Photography. I don't know why but I see Puck loving to take pictures of places he visits in his travels. He also scrapbooks but only Quinn knows that - he has a whole scrapbook of pictures of Beth that Shelby sends them and later makes them for all of his other kids too, and he has, like, travel journals and scrapbooks of roadtrips he's been on. Basically he's a Bullet Journal guy. He really likes washi tape and pretty papers and stickers and what-not. He will never admit this.

Quinn: Quinn's a writer. In my head she goes on to write a book that's losely based on her high-school years and it becomes a best seller and is later adapted into a Netflix series directed by Artie. I just like the idea! Maybe Rachel plays, like, the Miss Pillsbury character... or Terri! Or maybe Shelby? I dunno one of the adult characters.

Rachel: Obviously her art of choice is performing. It's singing and acting and standing on a stage or a set and making the words in her script her own. Also scrapbooking/moodboard making.

Santana: Santana likes knitting. She won't admit it but she likes knitting little plushies for Brittany, her favourite is a little bi flag coloured bunny. She makes knitted plushies and blankets for all of her friends when they have kids but she never tells them she made them - everyone knows though, they're too perfect for the couple/person (a cat in a scarf or a toy poodle in a bow tie for Klaine, a teddy adorned with gold stars for St. Berry etc. etc.)

Sam: This could be an essay for me (and kinda is opps). Sam is the Art nerd of the group and tries every type of art he possibly can. Macaroni art, illustration, digital art, traditional art, crafts, pumpkin carving, glass blowing, handlettering, graphic design, knitting, crochet, rag rugs, sewing, card making, pyrography, etc. He will try everything he can in terms of visual art. He doesn't, however, write because dyslexia, and he can't wrap him mind around, like editing and film stuff - he does try though because why not. He also really likes songwriting and music arranging.

All of this i'm trying to do as close to canon as i can but going off of canon let's say Sam goes to Parsons for illustration because he's so good at art, he stays with Mercedes in her brownstone and they never break up, after graduating he becomes a comic book illustrator (which i believe is literally a minor at Parsons, so let's say he does a Major in Fine Art/Illustration with a Minor in Comic illustration) and illustrates a run of Young Avengers comics and becomes a fan favourite artist.

In canon, however, he loves teaching the new generation of New Directions but he misses art because he doesn't have that much time anymore (because being the teacher of the new directions is a full time job, apparently, judging by the lack of adult friends or hobbies Will has lol) he loves loves loves arranging music, however, and that becomes the type of art he does the most. He does doodle a lot during faculty meeting (also he does a music teaching certification during his first few years of coaching the nNDs) and goes all out with pumpkin carving at Halloween, and loves decorating his apartment and the choir room at Christmas. He loves doing sets for the musical (and has a lot of fun staging it too) and helps out with the decorations for Prom.

Basically Sam loves to be creative in any way he can. He loves making things, whatever they may be.

Tina: Tina writes fanfiction and draws fanart. She's a nerd 100%, she watched Supernatural, she was a SuperWhoLockian, she loves Merlin, she's loves Twilight but more ironically than, say, Mercedes, and prefers books like Morganville Vampires or PC Cast's series that I've forgotten the name of. She loves the Hunger Games and Firefly and Star Trek and Star Wars. She definately has a tumblr. She mostly writes all sorts of fanfiction and is a huge name in the Supernatural fandom. Only Sam and Blaine know about all of this becuase they found one of her Star Wars fanfictions and in an authors note she said something that they recognised - idk she ranted about Santana or Rachel or something.

This was so much fun omg, thank you for the ask Myle 💛

[dameronology]

love in the time of p.t.a meetings {marcus moreno} - 2/5

summary: your kid has taken a liking to marcus moreno - and frankly, so have you {series masterlist}

warnings: swearing, mentions of divorce & very brief mentions of his wife’s death 

i don’t normally update series this quickly but this was originally one imagine that reached about 11k words lmao so it’s all written, just being split up. i’ve also decided it’s gonna be 5 parts instead of 3, cos i reread the ending and realised i was not done by a longshot. enjoy!

- jazz

Mondays. You hated ‘em.

Everything just seemed so...amplified. The peace and relaxation of the weekend was over and everyone had to go back on the grind. The traffic always seemed worst, the clock seemed to tick backwards and you just wanted to be at home, in bed. After an incident involving the dog, a toaster and a small pan fire, you were already running twenty minutes late and you knew in your soul that your child’s shoes weren’t on the right feet. That, and also he was wearing a Chewbacca onesie to school. It had been a compromise. As in, he was refusing to go to school unless you let him wear the damn thing. It was a compromise. You’d lost. 

On the bright side, the past weekend had been the best you’d had in a long time. Jack had spent all of Saturday afternoon at the Heroics headquarters and he was so worn out, he’d slept through all of Sunday. Marcus Moreno must have a been a fucking wizard, because you’d been trying to tire the kid out for five years. You made a mental note to do something in return, though you sensed there was nothing on God’s green earth that could possibly amount to babysitting the world’s most exhausting child for six hours. You were allowed to say that, because Jack was your world’s most exhausting child and you wouldn’t have changed him for anything. 

‘New week, huh buddy?’ You glanced at Jack in your rear view mirror. He was sat on his booster seat, legs dangling back and forth and a power ranger action figure in his hand. ‘A fresh start.’

‘Can we listen to the song from Cars?’ Jack ignored your comment.

‘You gotta try and behave yourself this week. You’ve seen what happens to people who do follow the rules, right? They get to go work at the Heroics-’

‘- I wanna listen to the song from Cars!’

You wanted to have a deep conversation. Jack wanted to listen to Life Is A Highway. That was...actually, it was exactly how you’d expected that to go. It wasn’t that off of the time you were trying to explain your divorce to him and he’d interrupted you to demand that you put Toy Story on. 

‘Sure thing, kid.’ You rolled your eyes, reaching across to hand him on your phone. ‘D’you know how to spell it-’

Your sentence was cut off by the sound of guitars blaring from the speakers. At least he could work out Spotify.

By some miracle, you managed to make it the school with a few minutes to spare. Because most people had dropped their kids off earlier (see: on time), the lot was pretty empty. That meant you could once again dump your car without regard for the painted white lines -- who had time to park properly on a Monday morning? That was for people who had their shit together.

Leaping out the car, you almost cursed when you tripped over your heels. You didn’t have to wear them, but since you’d started working in a managerial role at your office, you figured it made you look a little more professional. And what was the harm in being a few inches taller? It made you feel powerful.

‘C’mon, J.’ You pulled open the back door, helping Jack leap out the car. 

‘You know, I’m starting to think you can’t park your car at all.’

‘Marcus!’ Jack practically flew out the car, his tiny body suddenly jolting with excitement. 

‘Morning, buddy.’ He replied; he then moved his brown eyes to gaze at you, offering a smile. ‘Hey.’

‘Hey, how you doing?’ You greeted him. ‘I don’t normally see you here in the mornings.’

‘Yeah, I normally drop Missy off at the front but it was one of those mornings, you know? She was taking a little more convincing than usual to go in.’

‘My kid is in a Wookiee onesie and backwards Thomas the Tank Engine shoes and you have the audacity to ask me if I know those mornings? I am those mornings.’ You replied.

Marcus chuckled. ‘I think it’s a look. I especially like the Lightning McQueen sunglasses.’

‘Do you have a super suit?’ Jack asked. ‘Can I try it on?’

‘C’mon, Jack. You’ve already managed to get a tour of the HQ.’ You ruffled his hair. ‘And we gotta get going to school.’

‘But I wanna ask more questions.’ He muttered. ‘I have over a hundred.’

‘Don’t I know it.’ You murmured under your breath. ‘But school is more important.’

‘I don’t wanna go anymore.’

‘I let you wear the onesie. That was our agreement, remember?’

‘All good superheroes have to get an education.’ Marcus reasoned. ‘And if you go in, maybe I can show you my suit at some point?’

'Okay!’ Jack grinned. He wrapped his arms around your waist in a quick hug, before peering up at you with a toothy smile. ‘See ya later!’

He turned on his heel and ripped his backpack from your hand, suddenly speeding up the path and towards school. Had...had that just happened? For once in your life, had you not had to wrench him from the car and wrestle him through the school gates? Move aside, Harry Potter, because Marcus Moreno was the new wizard in town. You might have been a little jealous that he was so good with your son but at the same time, it made you like him even more. He was the first parent at the school that had leant into Jack’s wild tendencies. And, whilst you tried not to think too much about it, even his own dad had struggled to do that. It made your heart warm a little. 

‘You are seriously my favourite person.’ You chimed, leaning back against your car. 

‘Kids with character are way more fun than kids who are well-behaved.’ Marcus replied.

‘I spent forty-five minutes scraping string cheese out the USB port of my computer yesterday, but sure.’ 

He chuckled. ‘No, I’m serious. I don’t encourage Missy to misbehave but she does get herself into some situations. I choose to see it as a testament to her intelligence rather than disobedience.’

‘I refuse to believe for a second that Missy ever misbehaves.’ You shot back back. ‘She seems so well-behaved.’

‘What you see in the parking lot is not a reflection of our whole lives.’ He reminded you.

‘Right, because despite appearances, I’m actually a very put together parent.’ You snorted. ‘But I get what you mean.’

‘I gotta get to work now, but it was good to see you.’ Marcus pulled his car keys out his pocket. ‘I was serious about that suit thing, by the way. He saw my katanas on Saturday.’

‘Katanas?’ You spluttered. ‘My kid managed to start a fire last week out of nothing and you want to give him katanas?!’

‘Maybe I can show you how to use them.’ He flashed you a smile. ‘And then you can pass on the knowledge.’ 

‘That’s probably an even worse idea.’ You shook your head with a laugh, pulling open your car door. ‘I’ll see you around.’

‘You as well. Have a good day, pretty lady.’

--

Did you stop thinking about your exchange at any point during the day? Absolutely not. In fact, you’d already written an email to the local deed poll office to change your legal name to Pretty Lady. 

No, but in all seriousness, you’d been a little giddy about it. Had he been flirting? That didn’t seem like a long shot. You got on well, you’d hung out a bit over the weekend and not to toot your own horn, but you were by no means bad looking. Tired and a little frazzled, sometimes? Yeah. But anyone would have been lucky to have you and you were doing a better job at recognising that, especially since your divorce. 

You were almost ecstatic when it got to 4PM and you hadn’t received a single call from Jack’s teachers. That meant that he had behaved, and what Marcus had said had worked. Because you worked past his finishing time, he usually went to the after-school club till you could come to collect him - it had been a lifesaver, especially since you couldn’t always leave early. He usually came home with some kind of weird arts and crafts. Last week, it had been an unidentifiable item made of dried macaroni and glitter. He’d placed it pridefully on the old fireplace in your lounge. 

After saying goodbye to your co-workers, you headed out the building. Your office was right in the city centre and not too far out from the school. It was a nice place to be; your lunch hour, when you could head out to a street cart and eat your food in the local park, was usually the highlight of your day. It was when you could exist just as you. When you were at work, you were in charge on your entire department. When you were home, you were a parent 24/7. That time to yourself was vital.

As you were heading to your car, your phone began to ring. Your heart almost jumped out your chest when you saw Marcus’ name - he hadn’t called you before, only texted to sort out the previous weekend’s plans with Jack. You quickly organised yourself (he couldn’t see you, dumb ass) and cleared your throat.

‘Hey, everything alright?’ You brightly greeted him.

‘Hey! Are you out of work now?’

‘Yeah, I’m literally just leaving. What’s up?’

‘Look, I hate to do this but I’ve had an emergency at work - superhero related, you don’t wanna know - and I’m not gonna be out for hours.’ Marcus sounded stressed. Yeah, I feel that you thought. ‘Would you be able to pick up Missy and possibly have her for a few hours? If not, that’s totally-’

‘- I’d be glad too!’ You interrupted him. ‘I owe you one anyways for the weekend. And this morning, actually.’

‘You don’t owe me anything.’ He sounded surprised that you’d even imply it. ‘But I will definitely owe you for having Missy.’

‘Hey, it’s cool!’ You insisted. ‘Do you want me to drop her off at yours later?’

‘I can come and collect her if you text me your address?’

‘Perfect.’ You smiled. ‘I’ll see you later then?’

‘You’re a lifesaver.’ Marcus said. ‘I’ll text Missy to let her know to find your car instead of mine. I would ask for your plate number, but your car is...’

‘...bright red, covered in dents and hard to miss?’ You finished his sentence.

‘Exactly.’

You’d been in the same situation before; pulled between work and parenting, with Jack stuck at school and an important meeting that felt like it was never ending. It was hard to get a sitter on such short notice - or afford one, sometimes - and it was just another one of the million, stressful situations that single parenting could get you into. If you could help Marcus even a little bit, of course you were going to. You knew he’d do the same for you. Heck, he had done the same for you.

Jack and Missy were both chatty on the way home. Given that she was a little older than him, her conversational skills were strikingly better. It was nice to ask someone about their day and not get where are my Cheetos? as an answer. From what you gathered, she hated science class, enjoyed gym, and her favourite subject was lunch. That didn’t come as a surprise to you - her dad was a literal superhero and probably encouraged physical activity.

(You’d seen his arms, okay? They were more than enough to go on. I digress).

The only thing that made you wish you’d had a little more notice on having her for the evening was the state of your apartment. The place wasn’t bad; you’d lived there for the better part of eight years, and it was crammed with soft furniture and millions of blankets, as well as photos of you and Jack and his questionable art projects. It was just that you hadn’t done the dishes that morning, there was a mountain of shoes by the door and the pancakes from the previous night were still stuck on the roof.

Missy barely blinked an eye; the minute she saw your dog, she’d abandoned her bag and was playing with him. 

‘Hey buddy!’ She grinned. ‘What’s he called?’

‘That’s Oppy.’ You replied, hanging your jacket up. She didn’t need to know that it was short for Optimus Prime. No guesses on whose idea that had been. 

‘He’s so cute!’ Missy continued. ‘I’ve been asking dad for a dog for ages but he won’t budge.’

For some reason, that surprised you a little. Marcus might have been the leader of a super-hero team and a public figure, but you could tell he would do anything for his daughter. You knew because it was the same for you with Jack. He might have ruled your whole life but you would have hung the damn stars in the sky for him if he asked 

‘They’re a lot of work.’ You reasoned. ‘I have to wake up every morning at 6AM to make sure he gets a walk. Then there’s the matter of-’

‘- mum! Optimus Prime pooped in the bathroom!’

‘The matter of that.’ You murmured under your breath.

The rest of the evening went pretty smoothly. You fed the kids some leftover takeaway and between the dog and Netflix, they were easily entertained. Jack seemed to take a liking to Missy, which was good because it meant he wanted to sit with her the entire time instead of bouncing off the walls. She had the same patience as her dad, especially when he asked her a million questions about superheroes. It took her twenty minutes to convince him that Batman wasn’t her uncle, and a further fifteen to make him believe that she hadn’t met Captain America. 

Jack had asked you a few times about whether or not he would get siblings. Of course, it would be different to any interactions with Missy because he would have been the oldest, but it did get you thinking. You were finally in a place where you were moving past your former relationship and healing from the wounds. Time wasn’t much of an issue either - you’d had Jack when you were young and barely out of college. You couldn’t possibly imagine having any more kids right now, not when it was just the two of you, but in the future? You’d never rule out meeting somebody new. If anything, you were hopeful. Your first relationship had been your only one, and it had ended badly. You wanted to experience love for what it actually was, and not what you thought it was supposed to be. 

Not long after 7PM, there was a knock on your door. By that point, both Missy and Jack had passed out on the sofa with Star Wars playing quietly in the background. It had been her idea to watch it - she had good taste. Marcus had clearly done a good job.

‘Hey!’ You greeted him as you pulled open the front door. ‘Come in quick, it’s fucking freezing out there.’

‘Thank you.’ Marcus came inside, dusting a few snow flakes out his hair. ‘Seriously, I can’t say it enough-’

‘- it’s fine!’ You shook your head, offering him a smile. ‘Missy’s been great. She’s really chatty and it was nice to have a coherent conversation with someone that isn’t about Paw Patrol. But was everything at the office okay?’

He was quiet for a minute. ‘Yeah. We uh, we lost someone. A hero.’

‘Shit, man. I’m sorry.’ Your voice fell quiet. ‘You wanna come in? You look like you could probably take a moment.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course! Missy and Jack are both asleep on the couch anyways.’ You pointed through to the living room. Marcus leant over to have a look, smiling slightly at the sight. 

‘Thank you. I’d appreciate that.’

He took a seat at the kitchen counter. Your old bar stools were a little old and wobbly, but Marcus didn’t seem to notice. If anything, he admired the place. It was cluttered as hell and filled with useless, old items - cook books you didn’t use, random magnets, assorted toys - but it was nice. His house always felt a little cold and clinical. He’d moved a lot over the course of Missy’s life and now that he was retired from the field, he’d sworn to her that their current house was going to be permanent. Whether or not it felt like home was another question entirely. 

‘I would offer you a drink but all I have is..’ you paused, opening the fridge. ‘Nesquik, vodka or apple juice.’

‘You know what? A Nesquik doesn’t sound too bad.’

‘I like your thinking, Moreno.’

After quickly fixing up the two drinks, you slid into the seat beside him and handed him one. You had never in a million years imagined a situation where Marcus Moreno would be in your kitchen drinking chocolate milk, but here we were. It had clearly been a long day for him and you had enough of those to last a lifetime, so you knew how it felt. Coming home after a day that had beat your ass into the ground and having to put on a brave face for your kids was difficult at best. 

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ You gently asked.

‘Yeah, I’ll be okay - it just always fucks me up a bit.’ Marcus murmured quietly. ‘Hits a little too close to home.’

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew that you knew what had happened to his wife. You knew why he’d retired, and why he and Missy had moved away from their original city six years ago.

‘Sorry, that was too deep-’

‘- it wasn’t!’ You quickly cut him off. ‘I’ve had random women come up to me at pick up time and say they’re sorry to hear about my divorce. People I don’t even know. So really, after that, nothing is too much.’ 

He smiled slightly. ‘They always say they’re sorry but why would you bring up a subject if you have to apologise for it?’

‘Exactly!’ You replied. ‘Especially when I’ve moved on. It’s been a year.’

‘It’s the same with me. Missy and I miss her everyday but we don’t mope about it. We just...we look back with fondness on the good memories we have. You can’t move forward if you’re stuck in the past, no matter how much it sucks.’

‘That’s...that’s wise.’ You blinked in surprise. ‘S’pose that means I should take down the dartboard I have with my ex’s face on.’

‘From what I’ve heard, he seems like he should have more than a dart board.’ Marcus snorted - then he froze. ‘Wait, not that I’ve heard stuff, I mean...I don’t listen-’

‘- Marcus!’ You whacked his arm. ‘It’s fine. One of the other kid’s mums started telling me about the terrible divorce someone was going through but she realised she was gossiping to the one who was going through it.’

‘I don’t know how much of what I’ve been told is true, but it sounds like it was bad.’ His hand hovered over where yours was rested on the counter. 

‘The rumours pretty much get the gist of it.’ You replied. ‘But we were talking about your thing, so I don’t wanna take away from that.’

‘Hey, it’s okay.’ He finally moved his hand, fingers gently curling underneath yours to intertwine them. ‘If even half of the whispers are true, he sounds like an asshole. You and Jack both deserve better than that.’

Whatever people had said, it had sort of covered the gist of it. You’d married too young and had a kid too young - your ex had been a terrible husband and an even worst husband. He’d chastised Jack for being...well, being Jack. He’d stay out late with his friends, spend money on things neither of you needed and tried to make you take the blame for it all. After giving him a few too many chances, you’d finally reached breaking point and kicked him out. Filing for divorce and taking on being a single parent was single-handedly the hardest and bravest thing you’d ever had to do. In a way, you were glad you’d done it when Jack was still so young - he didn’t really understand any of it, even when you’d try to explain it in child friendly terms.

‘I think people judge me for it a little sometimes.’ You confessed. ‘They see me struggling but they know I made the choice to separate from him, like I brought it all on myself.’

‘That’s bullshit.’ Marcus plainly stated. ‘Parenthood isn’t a dependent thing based on whether or not you’re still married to the other parent. It’s unconditional and permanent.’

‘I should tell him that, but I also don’t want him back in our lives.’

‘I know it’s none of my business, but he doesn’t deserve Jack. He’s one of the best and brightest kids I’ve ever met.’

‘Thank you. I’m glad he doesn’t seem like a complete lunatic.’

‘He doesn’t deserve you either.’ Marcus continued. ‘Again, I might be out of place saying this but you are...you’re amazing. I was a wreck when I was suddenly on my own and you’re still holding everything together and working your ass off.’ 

‘You’ve noticed?’ You quirked an eyebrow.

‘Yeah, in passing.’ He admitted. ‘I remember I once saw you carrying three separate science projects at once and then Carol made a passing comment that you were on your own and...I just kinda admired you from afar.’

‘You, Marcus Moreno, admired me?’ You blinked at him in disbelief. ‘I find that hard to believe.’

‘I wish I’d had my shit together half as much as you did when I lost Missy’s mum.’ 

‘But the difference is you didn’t have a choice in your situation. I chose to boot his dad out-’

‘- you gotta stop discrediting yourself.’ He shook his head. ‘And stop blaming yourself. You did what was right for your kid and that is the most admirable thing of all.’

‘You really think so?’

‘I know so.’

The conversation slowly drizzled away, leaving you two to just look at each other. It was hard to tear yourself away from his brown eyes - there was a lot going on behind them. Fear, pain, anguish, admiration. He was one of the most mind-blowingly impressive people you’d ever met; single dad, superhero, electric car owner. He probably didn’t have a mortgage too and that was kinda hot. You were none of those things and yet, here he was, with you, managing to connect on a level that you never had with anyone. Both of your situations were tough, but they’d brought you together. 

Marcus Moreno was pretty fucking fearless (came with the job, you figured), and he wasn’t afraid to make the first move. He slowly inched his head forward and in return, you gravitated towards him. Your lips met halfway in a soft kiss, his hands moving to firmly hold your waist as he pulled you closer.

You almost stumbled out your chair with the movement, but his grip on your hips meant you didn’t slip. Instead, he placed you up on the counter, standing up as he did. It took you a moment to adjust to the position, but with your legs resting on either side of his, you could reach forward and lean on him. You had one hand tangled in his hair and the other on the back of his neck -  you’d surprised yourself with that. It had been months since you’d kissed anyone, but you weren’t as rusty as you thought. 

‘Oh my god, is the superhero gonna be my new dad?!’

Marcus suddenly jumped backwards at the sound of Jack’s voice. He was stood in the doorway, post-nap hair covered by a lopsided Chewbacca hood. His eyes were like dinner plates, even though he was grinning from ear to ear. 

‘Uh...’ you glanced between him and Marcus. ‘We were just...we were...’

‘I had something in my eye.’

‘He had something in his eye.’ You quickly agreed. ‘But now it’s out, so Marcus is gonna go home.’

He knew you didn’t mean it rudely - it was more of a desperation thing. The longer he stayed, the more questions Jack would come out with. Missy could have overheard too and that would have been twice as much to explain. So really, the sooner he got out, the better.

‘Yeah. I’ll uh, I’ll grab Missy.’ Marcus said, scratching the back of his head. ‘Thank you again for looking after her.’

‘You don’t need to keep thanking me.’ You shot back. 

He disappeared into the living room for a moment, reemerging with a sleeping Missy in his arms a moment later. Your eyes met again, and he gave you a soft smile.

‘I’ll call you.’

‘Yeah, sure.’  You nodded. ‘See you, Marcus.’

--

True to character, the next hour was spent being pelted with questions from your over-curious son. He didn’t shut up once when you were bathing him and he got even louder when you were reading him his best time story. On the bright side, you’d managed to get him to change out of his slightly manky Wookiee onesie and into a clean Buzz Lightyear one. Normally, you would have argued that he couldn’t live in pyjamas, but if it kept him quiet? It was a price you were willing to pay. 

‘Night, kiddo.’ You pressed a kiss to his forehead, switching on his nightlight. ‘Remember our deal, yeah? If I buy you a Happy Meal tomorrow, you won’t mention what you saw to any of your friends?’

‘You said library was bad.’

‘No, it’s bribery.’ You corrected him. ‘And do as I say, not as I do.’

‘Sounds bad, but okay.’ He sleepily murmured. ‘Night.’

‘Night.’ You stood up, flicking out his bedroom lights.

‘Wait, mum!’ Jack suddenly sat up, as though he’d remembered something. ‘You never said no.’

‘No to what, buddy?’

‘When I asked if the superhero was my new dad.’

Well, fuck. 

taglist: @naivara-duneimith @1-2-3-4-5metalfingers @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @lyanna-the-giantsbane @phoenixhalliwell @crazycookiecrumbles​ @bitchin-beskar​ @comphersjost​ {message me to be added!}

[bored-mumma]

Tom Holland Fluff Alphabet

MASTERLIST

A = Attractive. What do they find attractive about the other?

Personality wise, Tom loves your ability to laugh in most situations. No matter how stressed he is, you easily bring a smile to his face.

Physically, he finds your looks breath taking. Your  a priceless work of art to him.

B = Baby. Do they want a family? Why/Why not?

Yes, Tom is almost obsessed with the idea of having a family with you. He’s doing it all right. Got a house with a few spare bedrooms, proposed, got married, and now is waiting for the day you finally show him the positive test. It’s the life he’s always dreamt of. 

C = Cuddle. How do they cuddle?

Wrapped around you. Usually his arms are held around your waist, head resting on your chest and his legs tangled with yours too. He wants to feel your warmth and to just relax after a hard day.

D = Dates. What are dates with them like?

Not usually traditional ones. Instead of fancy restaurants, you can’t beat a late night drive to the beach, sitting in the car with a take away and singing very loudly and very badly to some love songs. Having fun is the most important part of your date nights.

E = Everything. You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

You are my best friend.

F = Feelings. When did they know they were falling in love?

You couldn’t see the floor from the amount of the snacks laid on it , you and Tom both wearing your comfiest pyjamas and snuggled up beneath some duvets. There was a raging storm outside so instead of a nice meal out, Tom ordered so much stuff to eat and some movies. He rested his head on your lap, your finger nails gently dragging along his skin. He wasn’t watching the movie though. Instead his eyes kept drifting up to you, realising just how much he has fallen in love with you. 

G = Gentle. Are they gentle? If so, how?

Very. In every way. He’ll hold you gently, he’ll comfort you gently. Even if you argue, he’ll still talk in a calm voice. You’ve never even heard him raise his voice let alone yell properly - especially at you. He’s definitely your gentle giant.

H = Holding Hands. How do they like to hold hands?

I = Impression. First impression/s?

Tom thought you were hilarious. In you walked, a large smile on your face and making everyone happy. You loved to make others happy and Tom was no exception. He introduced himself and the two of you hit it off almost immediately. It didn’t take long for him to ask you out - in fact he did so just three days later.

J- Joker. Are they into pulling pranks?

you tend to pull pranks on other people as a pair. He’ll randomly text you throughout the day saying he’s bored and the two of you will discuss how to pull a couple pranks on his co-workers. 

K = Kiss. How do they kiss?

Pretty gently. He puts his forehead on yours, holding your hands. He slowly leans in and presses his lips against yours, moving in sync. Although, of course, there are other times when its more feral. He’ll pull you towards him, claiming your lips as his own as his hands tangle in your hair. 

L = Love. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Tom does. He was so excited to say it, he was acting like an over-energetic puppy! He made you your favourite breakfast one morning, along with a bouquet of your favourite flowers. Taking it up to you, you sat in the bed together and before you even had a chance to say thank you, Tom blurted “A beautiful breakfast for the beautiful woman i love.”

M = Memory. What’s their favourite memory together?

When you went to meet his family. He is really close with them all, and when you came in and just instantly clicked with everyone, Tom couldn’t help but sit back with a smile on his face. When everyone sat for dinner, Tom barely got a word in edge ways since his family was just adoring you and wanted to keep the conversation going. 

N = Nickel. Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?

You. Get. Everything. And I mean everything. When looking at buying your first house together, you had to get one with an extra bedroom just to store all the stuff he got you. Usually some random stuff he sees in shops that reminds him of you but it also includes stunning accessories, clothes, vintage books, literally everything

P = Petnames. What petnames do they use?

“babe” or “love”.

Q = Quaint. What is their favourite non-modern thing?

Tom loves to sow! It takes his mind of his hectic life just for a little while. A wall in the spare bedroom is just covered in his designs. Ones he’s most proud of but doesn’t want them hanging in the lounge. It’s also great for you. Rip in your favourite top? No problem, Tom can fix it.

R = Rainy Day

Board games! All and any! Except for monopoly, as experience taught you, that game brings out both your extreme competitive side. 

S = Sad. How do they cheer themselves/others up?

Tom is very good at talking about his feelings with you. If he’s down, he knows your the best shoulder to cry on and vice versa. He’ll always be there for you too. You may not be able to give him advice or to really help him out but just to have someone to hold, to cry to and talk to makes him feel safe. 

T = Talking. What do they like to talk about?

He loves a good gossip. Want to tell him a story about your co-workers having an affair? He’s all ears, throwing in a few gasps and questions too. He’s just nosy but so are you! So a perfect match. 

U = Unencumbered. What helps them relax?

A warm, deep bubble bath with some music playing softly, a good book and some snacks. It’s so relaxing there’s been a few times you’ve had to walk in the bathroom and wake him up from a nap.

V = Vaunt. What do they like to show off? 

He dances. All. The. Time. Either with you or just around you, he loves to dance. And you can’t deny, he’s got the moves! 

W = Wedding. When, how, where do they propose?

Coming home from a lunch date with some friends, you were looking forward to just relaxing at home since it was Toms night to cook. However, when you opened the front door, your eyes landed on the most beautiful sight. Your home was covered in flowers, some candles and a red carpet rolled down the middle. Except there was no sight of your partner. Calling out to him, you walked farther into the room when Tessa, your guys dog, ran out and down the red carpet, a little note wrapped around her collar. As you gave her a quick scratch behind the ears, you read the words “Will you marry me?” 

“What do you say?” You spin as you hear Tom speak from behind you, down on one knee and holding a stunning ring. 

X = Xylophone. What’s their song?

Lady in red

Y = You. You are the ___ to my ___ (e.g. the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

You are the straw to my berry

Z = Zebra. If they wanted a pet, what would they get?

Tom is very content with Tessa. Both of you love the staffy to pieces! But he’s very open at the idea of more dogs in the future. 

[beware-of-you-98]

girl’s night and pasta art

everyone comes over to jj and emily’s house for girl’s nights

not only for the convenience of time (they live closest to the federal building) and space (their house is accomidating without being overbearing)

but bc tara and penelope enjoy going to the house more than hanging around in their apartments

when they come over, they’re greeted with the sight of the coffee table in the living room covered in boxes of dried pasta, glue and paper

jj comes in the room with four glasses and a bottle of wine, settling herself down on the love seat with a shrug

she explains that she saw something on pintrest (because she’s a proud pintrest mom) that looked fun for the boys to do

emily had gone out and bought every single type of boxed pasta the nearest walmart had

and when she came home, the four had been content to quietly doing pasta art and enjoying each other’s company before the boys left for their dad’s place

(well, henry and michael did the pasta art—emily and jj supervised)

and by the time they got bak home from dropping them off, the women had no time to clean up before tara and penelope came over

no one cares too much though

tara and penelope sit next to each other on the couch while jj and emily take the love seat, talking amongst themselves and steadily draining the first bottle of wine

when penelope gets back from the kitchen with a second bottle, emily moved from jj’s lap to the floor, sitting cross legged

her head is leaning back against jj’s thigh while the blonde absentmindedly strokes through her hair, engrossed in conversation with tara

penelope just shrugs and sits back down next to tara, topping off everyone’s glass from the second bottle of wine

they’re in the middle of a conversation, jj’s hand still running through emily’s hair when the brunette jerks below her hold

jj looks to see what’s wrong or what happened and just sees emily looking at her questionably

“babe, what type of pasta should i use for hotch’s eyebrows?”

the question is completely random and out of the blue and no one has any idea what emily is talking about until they look down at the table

emily several piles of pasta poured out on the table, a glue bottle opened and a piece of paper with several vaguely humanoid figures that sort of resemble the team on it

no one has any idea how to react at first, but emily is more than a bit tipsy and focused as hell on this pasta portrait

“see because i thought linguine, but then i thought that it would be too thin of a noodle,” is what emily continues to explain, completely oblivious to everyone else’s amused or lost looks

finally, penelope slides down on the floor and grabs a box “have you tried macaroni?”

jj looks over at tara like “is....is this really happening right now” because this is so amusing to her

tara ignores jj’s gaze and slides down on the floor next to penelope, mirroring the same crisscross applesauce sitting position as everyone else

“i personally would go for the penne noodle”

jj tries to hold out and be the adult™️

she wants to be the responsible one bc she knows somehow emily will glue her fingers together or get pasta stuck to the table

but

......it does look really, really fun.....

her resolve breaks when penelope wriggles a box of bowtie pasta in her face

“come on, jayje!! these make really cute butterflies!”

and, well, how could jj not do pasta art with bribery like that??

she slides down on the floor next to emily, grabbing a box of radatordi

“baby, try these ones”

emily swears jj is a god damn genius

and goes back to her portrait

penelope proudly declares that she’s making a pasta dragon and no one can fucking stop her

tara just dumps out small handfuls of pasta, silently working and concentrating

jj makes a small field with spaghetti noodles, using the bowtie pasta as butterflies

she thinks it looks really good

but half of her grass is lopsided

and her butterflies are upside down

but she’s proud of it

she gently nudges emily, showing off her artwork with a huge grin

she squeals in delight when emily gives her a small kiss as a praise

emily’s bau family portrait looks like it was done by a three year old

but jj thinks it’s beautiful because emily is proud of it

(“look, this one is you!!” emily points out a figure with choppy, angel hair pasta hair and a little heart made out of mini shells above it)

(“it has a heart above it because i love you!!”)

(jj blames the wine as the reason she tears up but really she just thinks emily is really precious)

penelope does not make a dragon

she tries

she really does

but it looks like a balloon animal dog

no one points that out though

because penelope names him puff the magic dragon and everything

and no one wants to ruin penelope’s happiness and be a dick by pointing out the dragon isn’t a dragon

so everyone is enthusiastic reacting to the magic balloon animal dog—i mean dragon—as penelope is showing him off

tara is the bob fucking ross of pasta art

seriously

she does a fucking landscape and somehow has shading in her work???????

how te fuck she got shading with noodles is beyond anyone’s comprehension

how she even managed to make a brilliant work of art, let alone one that’s legible, is mind blowing

there’s a mountain and a damn waterfall

and the water somehow has highlights????

tara definitely flexed on everyone with her drunk pasta art skills

before everyone goes home and gets to bed, tara and penelope help jj and emily clean up the mess

they take home a minimum of five boxes of pasta each

“just... don’t let rossi know about the premade pasta”

jj hangs her’s and emily’s art on the fridge right by their boys’ artworks

penelope pins puff the magic dragon to her foam board right by her door at her apartment

and tara, in the biggest flex, has her pasta art framed and sold at a local art auction for $2k

she definitely has ultimate bragging rights when she walks by rossi’s office one day and sees her pasta art hanging over his desk

[pinkjeanist]

jordan my love i am in desperate need of cuddling w Shigaraki ;; just some sawt loving™, maybe comfort for a bad day? 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 either the reader had a bad day or shiggy did, i dont mind 👉👈

“and i’d rather be sad with you, than anywhere away from you.” || t. shigaraki

     -     for anyone goin thru it. or not. either way, you’ll be okay. 1.1k words

“What are you doing.” The light streaming in from the hall didn’t reach your bed but you still flinched at the intrusion. Shigaraki shielded it for the most part but his gaze still left you feeling exposed. 

“Just...laying.” You rolled over and faced the wall. He shut the door behind him, but he was still there, lingering by the door. “I want to go to bed.”

“You always go to bed late. It’s only nine.” He didn’t seem angry like he had when he walked in, but you couldn’t tell what he was feeling or what he was trying to accomplish. You accepted the moment you’d started liking him that he would never so much as remember your birthday, much less ever try to comfort you. Maybe he was trying to get something out of you. You hiked the blankets up to your chin. “Everybody’s waiting for you at the bar.” 

“I know. But I don’t want to hang out tonight. I just want to sleep.”

Shigaraki was never quiet in his silence; his presence wrote novels. You could tell that he was confused. 

He must have stared at your back until you could actually feel yourself starting to drift off, before you heard him rustling behind you. You turned back over to face him only to find him slipping into bed with you. His shoes were at the door and his coat was on the doorknob. 

“What are you doing?” You’d never try to stop him, but it was alarming all the same. He laid his head on your empty pillow and stared up at the ceiling. “Leader?” 

“Shut up,” He said to the darkness, “unless you’re going to tell me why you’re pissed. Lay down.”

It was like him to give orders, but it wasn’t to whisper them. You couldn’t help but look at him for a few long moments before obeying. He was really warm, you thought. You’d never been so close to him. You always thought he’d be one of those people who was constantly freezing, but now you couldn’t help but wonder what his warmth would feel like even closer. 

You swallowed. “I’m not pissed. I’m just...I’m going through it.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“If I knew, I’d tell you. I just- I woke up this morning, and everything sucked. My day hasn’t gotten any better. I even tried making macaroni art with Toga but I’m fucking miserable.” 

“She hung it in the hallway. It looked miserable.” 

“How could you tell? Was it the frowny face?” He snorted, and you smiled. Your hands twisted into the sheets above. You noticed how Shigaraki kept his palms upward. You wondered how long it had been since someone held his hand.

You thought about talking more, but found the silence to be more comforting than you’d thought it’d be, so you closed your eyes and waited for Shigaraki to get bored and leave. But he didn’t, and he asked: “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” 

“I didn’t think it was important.”

“Fuck off, yes you did. You know how much everyone cares about you. Even fucking Dabi asked me where you were.” He was angry, now, but his voice was still soft. He seemed offended, even.

You turned away from him, again facing the wall. “I care about them, too. That’s why I don’t tell them.” 

“Tell them what?” 

“About my bullshit problems. I’m upset for no reason. There’s nothing to talk about and nothing to trouble them over, so I don’t.” 

There was a still, and then there was movement behind you. He slid close enough to feel his warmth through all of the layers between you, and his arm went over you to settle in a tight fist by your chest. He was spooning you. Oh my God. Yes. What the fuck. He was spooning you.

“What…”

“Shut up. Just shut up. You’re so fucking stupid sometimes.” He pressed his nose into your hair from behind. Hesitantly, your arm came to rest atop of his own. There was no way he couldn’t hear your heart, feel your emotions. He was never oblivious. Everything was calculated. But to you, it just made no sense.

It was stiff until your muscles loosened, and you let your body mold back into his. He sighed through his nose and held you tighter. You hoped it meant something and held him back. 

“None of us give a shit about what makes you upset. But we give every shit about making you feel better. Problems can be taken care of but healing takes more time.” That was...very deep, but you doubted he got it from one of his video games. He did a lot of swearing and insulting and whining on a daily basis, but sometimes he said exactly what you needed to hear. 

“Is this healing?” You whispered back. It was really hard not to cry.

He nuzzled into you. “Is it working?” 

“...Yeah…” 

“Then yeah, dumbass.” You gave a dry, genuine laugh, followed directly by a sob, which tore gently through the dam you’d tried so hard to keep from spilling over. Attempts to choke on your cries were met with a sore throat and more tears, but as you tried to pull away, he just held you tighter. “It’s fine. Just cry.” 

So you did, and you did for such a long time that you felt embarrassed before you were even done. But there was no shame in the way he held you, or in the way his pinky had at some point started smoothing the edge of your hand, or in how he softly mumbling incoherent comforts into your neck. Shigaraki stayed with you until you were done, and then stayed after. 

It’d been a long time since you’d had a good cry, and it had probably been a long time since Shigaraki had held someone. He melted into you once you’d quieted, so much that you’d thought he’d fallen asleep, until he mumbled: “I care about you.”

Your breath waivered, and you closed your eyes. “I care about you too. So much.” 

“I care about how you feel. I...I care about you. A lot.” 

You twisted in the bed until you were facing him. The arm that had been wrapped around you was raised, both hands still balled into wary fists, but after a long moment of staring at one another, it fell back on your waist. You were the one to pull him close, this time. 

“I feel a lot better now,” You whispered, giving him an invitation to leave, only for him to reply with: “But you’re not okay. Just go to bed.” 

You almost argued with him. Almost. But pressing your face into his neck and holding him felt better than any self-pity, so you did, and he let you. 

“You’re really warm,” He mumbled, nearly asleep. You smiled.

“I was thinking the same about you.” 

-

taglist: @knifeewifee @keigos-dove @hanniejji @lirinstaalem @bvnnyclouds @katsukis-sad-angel @nourplays @randomstuff7739 @ushissugarcube

[ohmypreciousgirl]

Xicheng AU Rec List

This time I compiled my favorite AU fics for @waterandsilver! Hope everyone will enjoy this list too ♥

Just Two Lost Souls 46,978

Even if it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife, husband, or companion, all Jiang Cheng really wants is to run his company, take care of his pets, and maybe get some sleep. Unfortunately the new job promotion to CEO comes with a loaded social calendar and a need for some sort of companion.

So clearly the most sensible answer is to start dating the man he's had a crush on since he was a teenager.

Because nothing could go wrong there. Sequels: Hold Me Like You Want Me; I Am Yours, If You Are Mine; Jiang Cheng and the Lans; You Get a Torch and a Flame and Burn The Path You Want.

i don't really care how much silence kills me 15,611 [Part 1 of all the lights couldn't put out the dark] It’s been around 2 years since Jiang Cheng has last seen to his brother, and a little over a year since the last time he spoke to him, when they locked eyes at Nie Huaisang’s art exhibition. Jiang Cheng had only come because Huaisang had explicitly promised him he wouldn’t be here. He knows Wuxian and Wangji have just moved back into the area after traveling, and he has every intention of avoiding them at all costs, just like he avoids his college-era crush Lan Xichen. 

But it would seem that the universe has other ideas.

charcoal on newsprint 2,151 [Part 1 of fine art] Xichen distantly realizes that there is no way Huaisang had actually told Jiang Cheng that this is a nude modeling session. He can already hear Jiang Cheng’s clear baritone, dripping with sarcasm, telling the entire dinner table “So, Zewu Jun wanted me naked in front of all his students.” at the next Lan-Jiang family dinner.Uncle is going to have his head. 

Madam Yu is going to skewer him alive before that. Or, Jiang Cheng models for life drawing in his spare time.

Family 2,514 [Part 1 of The Lan-Jiang Family] Jiang Cheng stops dead in the doorway as he takes in the horrendous state the apartment is in; toys and clothes everywhere, new furniture, child-furniture, all over the place, and no matter where Jiang Cheng’s gaze drops, it’s been taking over by stuff that belongs to a child.

A child that is still screaming, almost drowning out Lan Xichen’s attempts to calm it down.

“What the actual fuck is happening here?” Jiang Cheng blurts out and while it does nothing to stop the child from screaming, Lan Xichen freezes.

Worthy of a god 1,859 [Part 1 of The most faithful] Jiang Cheng knows that there is a chance Chifeng-zun will choose him; he is the god of war and rage and ever since Jiang Cheng was old enough to scowl there had been talk at Lotus Pier, how well he would fit with that.

But Jiang Cheng also knows that there is a bigger chance of no god choosing him at all.

Not just a vacation [Part 1 of The best catch] The next night Lan Xichen goes back to the beach. He keeps out of sight at first, hoping to catch the man unawares first, his mind still reeling from the research he did during the day.

It’s probably not what Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji wanted for him when they sent him on this vacation, but Lan Xichen needs to know what’s going on here. The only thing his research turned up were tales of mermaid and Lan Xichen is not ready to believe that.

Until he catches sight of a rather huge tail, flapping out of the water.

What Happens in Vegas Comes Home to Taiwan 3,120 [Part 1 of What Happens in Vegas] What do you do when your brother is getting married to someone you can’t stand?

The answer probably shouldn’t be to marry his brother, but in Lan Xichen’s defense, he didn’t know Las Vegas would allow drunk people to tie the knot at three o’clock in the damn morning.

A Lionheart 19,916 Wherein Xichen is a Crown Prince and Jiang Cheng is his bodyguard.

Emergency Help Wanted 76,819 EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.

how to not fall in love in a broken elevator 2,741 [Part 1 of a guide to falling in love (for runaways and heirs)] Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen get stuck in an elevator together.

Stream 4,494 He’s in love with Lan Xichen.

Jiang Cheng blinks once, twice and allows the feeling to fill him completely, at least once, before he ruthlessly squashes it down and locks it into the deepest parts of himself.

By the time Lan Xichen stops laughing and turns his attention back to Jiang Cheng, it’s as if nothing ever happened. Sequel: Umbrella - Savor

Jiang Cheng knows what he’s worth, after all, and it’s definitely not enough for the First Jade of Gusu.

How to get revenge on your brothers: A Guide by Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen 8,339 “That’s it. That’s the solution.”

Jiang Cheng opened an eye confused. “What do you mean?”

There was a weird light in Lan Xichen’s eyes and for a moment Jiang Cheng thought the other had gone crazy. “We will make them understand what it feels like seeing their brothers being… intimate with each other.”

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities 80,575 Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.

do you eat pringles with or without the shell? 32,291 Wei Wuxian smiles at him, the bastard. “I’m proud of you for figuring this out. That means Xichen-ge is your gay awakening.”

“Don’t put it like that,” Jiang Cheng sighs but he isn’t wrong.

All This Could Be Yours 17,337 After transferring to the main branch of his family’s publishing business and into his newly-acquired responsibilities as its CEO and managing director, Lan Huan finds himself stressed and burnt out. His brother recommends a solution.

Jiang Cheng is too gay to deal with this shit.

how should i know what tomorrow will bring 1,630 “If they can’t accept the fact that Jin Ling will always be there, then they might as well fuck off.” Jiang Cheng points out.

“Well, sure.” Wei Wuxian concedes. “But you don’t even give them time to know if they want to be involved with you before you’re kicking them away. That’s not how first dates are supposed to go.”

“How would you know,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, annoyed that Wei Wuxian is right. This time. “You haven’t been on a date since like, 2002.”

Children's Secrets 5,225 Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen swap nephews for a weekend. Some revelations are made.

the Magical-Realism of Awkwardness 10,168 Jiang Cheng thinks things can't get worse when he is forced to third wheel Wei Wuxian and Lanzhan's date.

Then Lan Xichen shows up and proves that things damn well can.

(Or, what shapes up to be one of the worst days of Jiang Cheng's life takes an entirely different turn.)

in the incense is tangled a cool moon 3,614 Some loves aren't meant to be, Wanyin knows. 

Pay me in love 2,770 Madame Yu watches Lan Xichen walk away, until he is out of earshot, before she turns towards Jiang Cheng.

“What are you paying him?” she wants to know and Jiang Cheng can do nothing but stare dumbly at her.

“What?” he asks when she doesn’t say anything else.

“Did you really think I would believe you’re dating Lan Xichen, CEO of Lan Enterprises? Nice try, Jiang Cheng. Now tell me what you’re paying him.”

a slight tilt of perception 5,238 It was just a dance. 

Jiang Cheng, trying to avoid the society matrons and their matchmaking-themed whispers, accepted a dance invitation from Lan Xichen, an old friend.

He forgot that his dance partner was probably the most eligible bachelor in the room.

He forgot that was all it could take: a moment, a look, hands intertwined in a dance—and everything could change.

Not at all fake 3,070 “Tomorrow,” Jiang Cheng gives back and then makes a noise as if he’s dying. “Fucking hell, I’m a dead man. If I show up tomorrow without anyone in tow—without someone in tow who can give Lan Wangji a run for his money—then I am dead.”

There’s a beat of silence and then Lan Xichen says “Take me.”

Jiang Cheng blinks a few times, processing the words, but even after a full minute they don’t make any sense.

For better, for worse 6,713 People forget marriage vows are more than pretty words. It's easy to honor them when it comes to good things but they're easily forgotten when it comes to darker times. Lan Huan, however, always keeps them in mind. To love someone like Jiang Cheng, who wears his emotions on his sleeve due his terrible parents, is to remember that love is not simple.

Glow 3,033 [Part 1 of Eldritch!Lans AU] Jiang Cheng carefully turns his head, maybe the absence of his boyfriend is what woke him up, but when he looks at Lan Xichen’s side, he’s met with something so dark it even stands out against the darkness of the night.

There’s a void next to him in bed and Jiang Cheng throws himself out of it, Zidian already crackling and sparking, illuminating the room in a faint purple.

White Lotus in Bloom 7,147 As the Crown Prince from Gusu Lan visiting YunMeng Jiang, Lan Huan was beyond excited to attend the region's famous Lotus Festival, where he meets a boy in purple and black.

Never Had I Ever 56,263 Nie Mingjue is almost certain that Jin Guangyao has an ulterior motive for dating his best friend, Lan Xichen. However despite voicing his concerns, his best friend seems unconvinced and Lan Xichen continues to date the said man. Unable to give up just yet, Nie Mingjue tries a different tactic--convincing his best friend the man is not the right person for him by setting him up. Fortunately for him, Wei Wuxian's youngest brother is very much single and seems to be just the kind of person his best friend needs. Can Jiang Cheng truly change Lan Xichen's mind, or will Nie Mingjue's plan is a disaster from the beginning?

As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.

Comfort 1,838 Wei Wuxian always pisses him off, this is common between them. Some fights, however, make Jiang Cheng sad enough to lock himself away from people and Lan Xichen has taken on the role of always being there to comfort him.

midnight comforts 1,946 At 11:36 his phone buzzed next to his ear. Lan Huan had a strict sleeping routine, but even so he was a fairly light sleeper. He answered the call—no one he knew would call him this late without reason—and murmured a groggy greeting.

“Lan Huan?”

He sat up, already rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“A-Cheng?”

“I know it’s late,” he started, voice sounding odd through the phone, “but you,” he stopped again with a gasp. Now that he was more alert, Lan Huan realized with mounting horror that the hitch in his breath, the odd thickness, was from crying. “You said I could come over whenever,” he finished, voice much shakier.

To The Beat 1,859 [Part 1 of Fever]

"The bathroom is over there you fuc--"

His words caught in his throat as he saw the person on the other side. He looked a lot like Wei Ying's boyfriend, but he was smiling and his eyes were somehow kind; comparatively, the most expression he'd ever seen on Lan Zhan's face was mild disdain.

Jiang Cheng must have been staring dumbly for a while because the man cleared his throat. There was a blush rising on his cheeks, and oh fuck, that was kind of cute.

"I apologize for interrupting your night. I was told that this room was where the people who were 'no fun' were supposed to go," the man said. His voice was deep and somehow just as smooth as his skin, which was flawless.

It Took Me So Long To Find You 6,349 [Soulmate AU]

But it didn’t take him too long to realize that he was simply not worthy of the other.

So he hoped at least that they could become friends.

Lotus Pier burned down before Jiang Cheng could think of telling Lan XiChen. And after the Sunshot Campaign, he understood, being Lan XiChen’s soulmate would not just be a burden to the other, it would be a curse.

paint my skies with your skin 15,473 [Soulmate AU] “There’s no point in this, is there?” Jiang Cheng scoffs, “We both know I am not who you want your soulmate to be.”

“Soulmate or not, you have my heart and my ribbon. Only if you want it, Wanyin.”

once upon a dream 18,438 [Part 1 of once upon a dream] An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.

[nicoscowboyhat]

PJO/HoO/ToA characters as things me and/or my friends have said

a lot of these are discord messages bc we haven't seen each other in person in a while :( some of the ones at the end are from a notebook i had though where i would write down the funny shit we would say. came in handy lmao

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Clarisse: i would've been a heavyweight for a cheerleader and thrown some hoes

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Arrow of Dodona: Thou side bitches art foul for i despise thy hairstyle

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Octavian: i love how i'm just automatically the misogynist

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Percy: hey guys i can make my dick invisible

Jason: NO FUCKING WAY

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Nico: ill fucking kill you. squash you like bug

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Leo: piper wants a smoothie. a smoothie i shall make

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Lester: hey besties pro tip: don't make brownies in the microwave

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Annabeth: ayo ive got like. reverse appendicitis rn tell me some comforting shit 🔫🔫

Percy: you're sec c, don't die

Annabeth: ty

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Percy: aw shitttt almond butter and jelly on da everything bagel

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Leo: Vigarous gay sex

Jason: Vigorous is spelled with an O.

Piper: sexo gay vigoroso

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Meg: don't worry

Lester: i will worry if i so please

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Will: but i don't think you can kill monkeys

Nico: you can but they put up a pretty good fight

Will:

Nico: oh you mean like legally

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Ethan: my power went out while i was sleeping

Luke: lmao loser

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[the gang is arguing about some guy eating white chicken. like literally snow white. not boiled, WHITE]

Clarisse: well the whole point is that it's not raw and the man took a bite and it wasn't

Silena: he died later that week clarisse

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Percy: foo fighters in algebra what will happen next

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Octavian: dick an d balls

Reyna: No politics in chat plz!

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Luke: submerges into the spin cycle

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Luke: god

Ethan: is always watching

Luke: hope he didn't see me push that elderly woman down the stairs

Ethan: definitely did

Luke: shit

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Grover: fuck school i just wanna play animal crossing 😡😡 enough of this "physical education" shit i am planting tulips 😡😡😡

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Connor: i'm going to throw up into someone's mouth like a bird

Travis: as you should king

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Harley: [holding out a decapitated rubber chicken filled with grape juice] would you like a drink from the chicken chalice?

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[everyone's name was changed in a discord server]

Nico: why is my name spaghetti i just realized this

Hazel: we're all sketti here

Nico: ah

Nico: i thought it was so you knew who to kill when the italian genocide came around

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Leo: penis

Piper: sometimes

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Jason: i have chronic cool guy syndrome

Frank: is it contagious? i'm feeling a cough

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Reyna: just heard octavian speak day ruined

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Will: CISHET MAN ALERT 🤢🤢

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Percy: bro what if we went to japan

Grover: AHAH I WAS EATING CHEESEBALLS WHATS THE CONTEXT??

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Jason: how's octavian been doing? has he gotten worse?

Reyna: he's pretty much the same. considering driving a semi truck into his house.

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Percy: yo did u do work?

Annabeth: no but thank u for asking

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Luke: pillage an empire to assert dominance

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Nico: Noose?

Will: Nooses are not very hot nico

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Will: thor got that gay little bridge

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Annabeth: i'm gonna put my alphabet soup in numerical order

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Leo: pog to your mother

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Will: [sends a drawing he made of jar jar binks with kylo ren's outfit + lightsaber that says "meesa finish what youssa started"]

Everyone:

Will: react

Will: react to jar jar

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Luke: you ever just,,, eat someone on accident

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Jason: yo gamma your fam still vibin?

Jason, 2 seconds later: that felt gay to type

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Thalia: crimbo this year is gonna be litty titties

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Thalia, 12 am on christmas day: merry shitscream my dudes

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Nico, 10 years old: i have question

Nico: please

Nico: bro

Nico: q,ueshtun

Nico: kweshtin

Nico: i've just one

Nico: query

Nico: pleabse

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Clarisse: you sound like gay cat in the hat

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Kayla: BIG BOYS BIG STEPS

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Meg: words are for CHUMPS

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Luke: i'm laughing because i ran over a cat yesterday and i can't stop thinking about it

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Nico: yo titties are gross

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Frank: please don't spoil cinderella

Leo: she loses her slipper

Frank: does she ever get it back???!?

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Piper: [surfer voice] fudgecakes, dude

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Will: i watched star wars in the bathroom... probably tmi but i don't care

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Coach Hedge: you're trash. i will run you over

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Lester: please stop singing miss mary mack!

Meg: i hope you get dragged my miss mary mack.

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Percy: [singing] i wanna be the mayonnaise to your bologna, wanna be the cheese to your macaroni

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Octavian: i'm above everyone! except, um... triangles. they scare me

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Luke: my mom asked me what i wanted for dinner and i said "chinese food" and she said "how about olive garden" i said "MAY i SAID CHINESE FOOD"

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Nico: my mom died [default dance]

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Connor: the thing is, i didn't ask.

Travis: damn bro that really hurt my feelings

Connor: i'm sorry bro i didn't mean to hurt your feelings

Travis: it's ok i lied

Connor: that's ok i did too

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Reyna: [clone high JFK voice] bitches be like "i'm the shit" nah you ain't even the fart

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Lavinia: me having a stroke after inhaling caffeine like it's a tuesday

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Leo: damn girl, you shit with that ass?

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Austin: i'm about to eat a rock. hungry like gertie

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Nico: who is sports? i've never heard of them

Lester: i think it's a band