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#doesn't he deserve so much better than this???
r0-boat · 16 hours
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Whb Amy Headcannons(+Sitri)
Random sfw&NSFW headcannons
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Nothing pisses Amy off more than being treated less than his rank, He knows he's strong so he wants to be treated as such. You have ever are the only exception as much as he hates being babied You're the only one with the privilege In fact he craves it. It's like a wild tiger or lion purring and meowing as you run your fingers through his hair. He craves your touch and acts like a golden retriever when you're around. It pisses Sitri OFF because to him Amy is some vulgar animal that needs to be put down and here he was getting attention from the human he tends to be very possessive over.
Good Lord Levi would be proud from the amount of jealousy and envy seeping through him right now. And in turn Sitri gets more violent against him which probably disgusts you and babies him more. a constant cycle. Amy has caught on and is not helping citri turned his favorite teacup into dust from the way Amy smirked at him when you held him into your arms.
Scary dog privileges. He doesn't care if it's a king from another country or their subordinates. He will glare them down and growl like a beast only for you to turn around to see him smile pleasantly at you.
Sitri has deleted Amy's contact from your phone so many times that you've memorized it and has it written down somewhere.
As much as he cannot stand the idea Amy touching you he'd rather be in the same room trying to wedge his way in the middle then think about of what he and you might have done to each other.
Humans like gifts right? What do humans like??? He's never thought anything about love or romance and now that he likes you He's trying so hard to court you. Amy is not really good with words So the most he'll do is just give you gifts standing there awkwardly his face red and his eyes to the ground as he clutches of bouquet of crushed flowers in his hand. (He squeezed them too hard)
Absolutely melts for compliments when you say a compliment to him he starts brushing it off and degrading himself as if he doesn't deserve that compliment or he yells at you for being embarrassing. But he secretly loves it.
Is the kind of boyfriend that will let you do anything to him. Whether it be braiding his hair painting his nails or doodling on his hand. Piemon would be so jealous because Amy would never let him do that He truly does have a soft spot for you.
Amy is also prone to jealousy but his jealousy is not violent or intense hatred like Sitri's He just gets really needy and clingy hoping you would give him attention. Looking at you with puppy eyes. (Gehenna is just full of needy lap dog demons lol)
Nsfw
unlike Sitri, Amy is very gentle with you in bed out of a fear of somehow breaking you hurting your killing you. He will get better at this in overtime start treating your body more roughly if you want him too. When he had sex with Solomon He was not gentle and he tries to explain that you are not your ancestor. You are smaller softer and much different and he's afraid to hurt you.
Amy loves when you ride him, You're small human body squeezing around him as your hands scratch and hit him feels so good.
Yes it's no secret that he has a humiliation kink And he doesn't have enough courage to ask you to be mean to him like Sitri does.
Amy is Actually a little shy when it comes to sex. He looks at you as if this was the first time he's ever seen a naked body His eyes wide and full of hunger lust and wonder His large hands and fingers gently tracing over your naked body trying to memorize every little inch.
After he's first had to taste of you He could never go back constantly hard all the time thinking about you reducing him to a desperate mess reading into his blanket and pillows pretending he's inside you.
(Amy switch supremacy) from Tiny human over him treating him like shit hhhh please dominate him he'll be such a good boy for you too desperate animal fucking you full of his hot cum.
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sovonight · 2 days
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a radri-sarevok swap au but also xan is there:
xan:
refused the moonblade
tried to join the greycloaks and failed
exiled from evereska until he gets his act together (aka accepts the moonblade)
hopped from one adventuring party to another, offering his services as a wizard, but few could stand his company for very long
after he joins radri, she validates his choice to refuse the moonblade & further convinces him that the fact that he's not allowed back into evereska just for that is total bullshit. he cuts ties with his house & devotes himself to her
radri:
gorion raised sarevok, not her. she was eventually taken in by the iron throne for her aptitude in combat, and rose to the point where rieltar anchev came to view her as the daughter he never had
constantly felt out of place her whole life, and instead of turning it inward made it everyone else's problem
cuts (hacks at) her hair herself and keeps it shoulder length at most, and frequently wears a hood to conceal her ears
encountered xan during her work for the iron throne and rescued him from unemployment. 5 years later they've become inseparable
xan/radri:
they each believe the other has had such an unfair life and deserves so much better. they believe this to the point of prioritizing each other over almost anyone else
radri's first memory was of sharing minds with her mother & knowing without a doubt that her mother planned to kill her. she's avoided other elves & elven customs/interactions, and it took her a long time to consider even sharing reverie with xan
despite knowing that shes a bhaalspawn, radri doesn't care about the bhaalspawn prophecy. her motivation for being a boss battle for sarevok is that he's ruined the iron throne (and thus her comfortable livelihood). when radri dies, xan is devastated and loses the will to fight back; he's spared by sarevok's party and is still kneeling beside radri's scattered remains as they leave
in tob, radri is resurrected because sarevok thinks she could be a powerful ally in combat (and not for being a font of bhaalspawn knowledge, bc she isn't really one). she eventually seeks out xan and they go on being cringe and borderline evil together in the epilogue
somehow they went from this:
X, muttered, in elvish: You smell like a human.
R: I know elvish, jerk.
X: And yet you do all you can to pretend you are human, save for cut down your ears. Have you no pride?
R: So that I can look better in the eyes of elves like you? Don't you have a city to hole up in and pretend you're better than everyone else?
to this:
R, about to escalate a random tavern insult into a fight: What did you say?! I'll murder you, you little--
X, grabbing her arm to hold her back: Radri!
X, quietly to her: You have plans in a half hour, and you know how it pains you to arrive late. Allow me to handle it.
R: ... (sigh) Fine, have them rip each other apart.
(R turns away, X casts the spell, and screams are heard as they leave)
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reyreadersblog · 1 day
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ALRIGHT Y'ALL MADE ME DO IT!!!
My unpopular tig/tgg opinions!!
FIRST!
These are MY opinions and i'm allowed to have my own thoughts on certian things, just as you are, okay..? Just wanna..get this out of way, i know everyone is respectful in this fandombut still.
1. this is something that should NOT be an upopular opinion. AVERY IS THE MAIN CHARACTER FOR A REASON. okay? She is a girlboss, and she needs more appretiation, cus literally search up tig on tt rn. Everybody and their cat named Stewie is talking about Grayson and Jameson? WHAT ABOUT MY MG AVERY? And if you see any post about her, it's probably a hate vid about how Avery should've kept the money...SHUT UP. Read what she said carefully..."no one deserves that kind of power.." and then think about it deeply.
2. I DO NOT WANT TIG TO TURN INTO A TV SERIES (or even a movie). i can't name all the reasons 'cus then the the list would be endless. First of all, i know, I JUST KNOW, they'll choose the worst cast ever. And even if they find the most accurate cast for the Hawthorne brother i will still be dissapointed, because the images of them i have in my head...THEY'LL NEVER TOP EM. second of all, they will leave out important moments, just as simple as it sounds, and trust me they will, just like they do with most of the live adaptations of books. Third of all, SHIP WARS!!! I phisically can't with ship war, like I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF EM IN THE PAST WHEN THE BOOKS WERE STILL COMING OUT. And just the thought of Averygrayson shipper saying "yeah Avery and jameson were endgame in the books but they might change it in the movie..." GIVES ME NIGHTMARES. and overall, not everything needs a live adaptation yk? sometimes things just have to stay the way they are.
3. ...this is a bit contrevertial.and i don't want to sound like a hater since i've said this a multiple times before but Rohan's pov was my least favourite in the grandest games. Purely bcs whatever Savannah and Rohan had going on...don't get me wrong, i like Savannah (even tho she did and said some fucked up things) and Rohan, SEPERATLY. But them being together...idk man, they were too..."booktokish" for my liking, yk? and i do love banter and teasing, but they were like basic "i like you but i like winning more" "couple". Not to mention they were so random...like where did they come from? I remember when we first saw Sav and Rohan having the same symbols on their cards i was very excited, i expected a different dynamic between them...PLUS THE WHOLE GAME THEY JUST WANTED TO FUCK💀
4. Hating Alisa Ortega and loving Grayson Hawthorne is CRAZYYY, and i'm saying this bcs they're pretty similar in different ways. And the thing is people are mad at Alisa for "saying mean words to Libby" (she was literally doing her job, you would understand if you were at her place) MEANWHILE GRAYSON LITERALLY THREATENED A HEIRESS! (sayin this as a Gray stan) *sigh* y'all are something else🤦🏻‍♀️.
5. Ohh...this one is risky...BUT CAN Y'ALL STOP ACTING LIKE JAMESON IS BLAMELESS?? all i see is Grayson slander, AND I UNDERSTAND, he fucked up, but saying "Jameson was so much better than Grayson" is a lie, at least for me. (He was better for Avery tho) he fs made mistakes that fandoms chooses to ignore. Like lets not act like treating Avery like a toy wasn't wrong. Lets not act like him blaming Grayson for everything wasn't wrong. Let's not act like him reminding Grayson of Emily's death wasn't wrong. And i know that later on both him and Grayson had a great character development, but still, i've never seen anyone talk about this.
6. This isn't about tig. But LIKING JLBS WORK AND BEING HER FAN DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE GLAZING HER💀 (talking about an argument i had a while ago...) like is it so hard for your brain to understand that it's called having an opinion. Idc if it's JLB or any other author, okay? Like i've read almost every Jlb's books and i love them, AND i also publicly talk about how much iblove her work, does that mean i'm glazing her? UHM NO WTF💀.
7. LET. PEOPLE. HAVE. PREFRENCE. (I'm talking about ships btw) . Someone prefers LyraGray over Averyjameson, and that's okay. Someone loves Averyjameson the most, and that's also okay, someone likes Libbynash more then Xandermax, AND THAT IS ALSO OKAY.
I'll probably do part 2, i have more to say i'm just really tired rn.
Also it's not proof read so sorry if there are many mistakes.
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bibibbon · 2 days
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You know? It's kinda of funny how LOV fans treat the whole "I want to be a hero for villains" of Shigaraki as something groundbreaking, when the same concept was already introduced in the series (and was done better) with Nine.
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Unlike Shigaraki, Nine literally meet his team members when he saved their lives. In Chimera's case it was when a bunch of racists were about to execute him just for being a mutant.
Nine also was a hero for them in a more thematic level, as he not only save their lives but actually give his team mates a reason for live and fight. He offered them the chance to fight for create a better world. For me it's quite remarkable how Nine despite being a homeless and chronically ill person, go for save people he view as equally oppressed by the world.
He was selfless enough to sacrifice his own health using his quirk to save Chimera despite it was destroying his body, and without expecting nothing in exchange for share a dream Nine a hand to people at their lowest point.
That's much more of an "All Might for the villains" or whatever Horikoshi tried to make Shigaraki in the final moments. Or hell Nine even acts better as a foil to Deku in the sense both are selfless individuals who fight despite their bodies are crumbling, just for the save of the persons who are important to them.
How ironic is that Nine, the original movie villain that was supposed to be just a prototype for the "final villain" of MHA, ended executing the same themes way better than Shigaraki.
Hi @nyc3 👋
A main reason as to why people treat shigaraki's I want to be a hero for the villains ideology better than nine's is simply because I assume a lot of people forgot the plot of the 2nd movie or haven't read the one shot manga chapter mha leauge of villains undercover. All of this is a shame because I heavily agree that nine's version of I want to be a hero and hope for the villains is executed and built up 10000x times better than shigarakis and nine had a fraction of the screentime that shigaraki got which is saying a lot.
Actually rewatching the film and rereading the manga one-shot has showed me that nine and shigarakis arcs are pretty similar with nine's having a better execution and shigaraki having more wasted potential.
The movie sets it clear that nine and shigaraki are supposed to be foils for one another so it makes sense that they would share parallels. However, you would expect that by the time nine is defeated that shigaraki would naraatively prove to us that he is ultimately the better character but in truth he doesn't and nine's downfall by shigaraki ends up being quite disappointing to me.
Another problem within the narrative is also the lack of interactions that nine and shigaraki have. I think that nine is essential to helping shigaraki and start to infulence him to realise that he is just a puppet and should develop a goal outside of just destruction. If shigarakis goal stays as destruction then the destruction of what? Everything? And how would that benefit anyone including him?
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Nine like you said meets his teammates and saves them. He sees his teammates suffer like him and chooses to help them and they choose to help him. There is a clear relationship being developed and all the characters come together for the same goal, with similar backgrounds and varying styles yet they work.
When nines team see him in distress they run to help him and vice versa. The team has trust and overall everything that a lot of the leauges dynamics and development lacks.
Nine seeks destruction but his path is clear. He seeks to liberate and let nature flow its course with the strong overtaking the weak and finally being leaders instead of feared and abused because they don't fit into the small little box that is the mha's status quo. Nine plans to get stronger while being fully conscious and knowing the consequences. He makes a logical and heroic decision where we see him realise that he is trading his own autonomy and agency in becoming a lab rat all in exchange for power and a slim chance at achieving his goal.
This is all contrasted with shigaraki and his actions. We don't see his goal of destruction develop into a much more consistent and precise idea like destroying the giver and status quo. We don't see shigaraki fully conscious to come to the conclusion that yes the doctor is evil but he needs power. We lack everything from shigaraki and the information of chapter 419 just makes his character worse as shigaraki was a lab rat through and through.
Horikoshi tries to make shigaraki the better character but nine outclassed him in every way possible from the traumatic beginnings, to the developed flawed goal and to the final bitter end where we see nine crumble due to various factors 1)shigarakis decay and 2) his illness whereas shigaraki dies due to afo still being a lab rat that fulfills his purpose.
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All of this reminds me of the ask that said mha's manga ending is a sloppy edited 2nd movie ending (except I was only looking at it from a hero perspective but it even applies to the villains)
Nine deserved better!
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smile-files · 22 hours
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nickel and balloon stuff from spring on the breakfast!!! i'm keeping in mind that in the previous episode, both of them were under the impression that their friendship wasn't real...
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in a way, ii3 balloon is a lot like late ii3 cabby. of course, balloon did something indisputably immoral (manipulate and exploit others), and cabby only did something thought to be immoral (keep and use files about her fellow contestants) -- but both did something wrong and had to subsequently undergo a disproportionate amount of abuse and malignment for it, ending up with them being apologetic and submissive to avoid any chance of being framed as bad again. the biggest difference is that cabby has internalized the guilt others have attributed to her, while balloon largely hasn't -- he understands the concept of rolling with the punches for the sake of keeping good connections, but he doesn't believe he deserves it.
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nickel brushes off ii2 a LOT this episode. to rid himself of his guilt regarding that time, he necessarily has to delegitimize the hatred he felt towards balloon then, thus also ridding balloon of his guilt. he expresses this all vaguely, choosing to remember ii2 fondly and saying off-hand that its baggage should be laughed off -- implying that balloon has been forgiven. reasonably, balloon is happy that nickel seems to actually believe he's changed for the better, so initially this makes him happy.
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of course, though, it becomes clear that nickel just wants to shove his own actions under the rug, and balloon reasonably gets pissed off. nickel treated balloon and suitcase like complete garbage in ii2, and balloon clearly hasn't forgotten that.
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"it keeps things easy." it keeps things easy to roll with the punches, to endure nickel's abuse and accept his sudden friendship. note, also, that nickel is still placing the blame on balloon: he's saying that balloon didn't want to "make things better", as if nickel and balloon ever having a rift was entirely balloon's fault, and his problem to fix.
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and as we can see, nickel still hasn't fully forgiven balloon for ii1. as i've discussed before, nickel seems to secretly feel incredible guilt about how he treated balloon in ii2 (which is why he goes to such lengths to repress the whole memory of it) -- but that guilt is about the way in which he expressed his disdain and distrust of balloon, not those opinions themselves, nor the motivations for them. this is all very interesting, then -- if he still believes balloon can't change from his old, bad self, why did nickel start being friends with him at all?
i think a large part of it is his projection onto balloon. nickel sees himself in balloon: someone who screwed up big-time and isn't able to become a better person after that (according to nickel). we tend to gravitate to people similar to us, after all. i wouldn't be surprised if nickel was also trying to overcompensate for his hostility towards balloon in ii2 by being very friendly with him in ii3, thereby helping him forget that he was ever hostile to him at all.
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the most fascinating thing to me about balloon and nickel's relationship is how impersonal it is for balloon. he seems to value what nickel's affection represents rather than nickel himself -- and it represents that he's been forgiven. anyone who saw balloon and nickel's conflict in ii2, which was a product of balloon's nastiness in ii1 and nickel's subsequent inability to forgive that nastiness, would likely come to accept balloon and forgive him themselves if they then saw nickel being friendly with him -- because nickel is the epitome of the ii contestants' anger at him, and nickel of all people (seemingly) forgiving him would imply that he's really changed. the relationship is almost entirely a symbol in that regard. i don't think balloon has much residual guilt about is actions in ii1 -- he feels like he's adequately addressed them and changed -- but nickel having a positive relationship would be helpful in affirming that stance and proving to himself that he really has changed.
i wouldn't say it's cruel of balloon to keep this relationship going on under that pretense, but it is backhanded, and it helps explain why he was ever willing to accept nickel's friendliness unchallenged. he wanted his crimes to finally be laid to rest once and for all, and keeping nickel on good terms with him would let that happen. people would finally shut up about it. up until now, nickel wasn't explicitly denying his past cruelty towards balloon anyway, so balloon would be able to ignore that he neglected to ever bring it up; now, though, nickel is denying not only what he did to balloon but also to suitcase, which balloon is not able to tolerate. now that he's confronted nickel about that though, nickel snaps back with his condemnation of what balloon did in ii1, thereby uprooting the social stasis balloon had been able to maintain precisely because nickel refused to bring anything up before. in a way, then, balloon is purposefully shoving the past under the rug, just like nickel is.
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we can't forget, though, that nickel has his own complex about fearing that he's incapable of change and incapable of forming positive, genuine relationships with people. balloon is essentially revealing that, in a way, he wasn't really friends with nickel -- at least not in the way nickel wished and fooled himself into thinking they were. if balloon truly were friends with nickel like that, then that would mean that balloon had forgiven him for his cruelty in ii2, and perhaps that he really has changed... but no. balloon hasn't forgiven him. why should he? nickel never apologized -- and given how he never apologized, it's impossible that he could've changed anyway: nickel doesn't want to apologize because that means addressing his guilt and allowing himself to feel it. he wants the forgiveness to be handed to him on a silver platter, without him having to do all of the painful work, and he's incredibly upset when it isn't. he wants to not be a bad person, but in order to do that, he has to feel like one, and he really doesn't want to. he hates who he was and doesn't want to associate with it at all.
(note how it's the suitcase robot who says "you can say sorry" when nickel says that nothing can be done about making things better...)
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there's clearly an immeasurable amount of resentment these two have been harboring for each other throughout this season, which they'd only been hiding for the sake of fooling themselves into thinking they've changed (nickel) or thinking that others think they've changed (balloon). and now that they've let themselves explode with anger, partly related to the lies they'd been telling themselves falling apart, they yell at each other and balloon drops nickel down a hole!
ah, balloon and nickel's relationship... it's bizarre, it's toxic, it's convoluted, it's shady, and it's incredibly sad. i'm glad i'm revisiting ii3, especially this episode -- i used to be utterly baffled by nickel's writing, particularly in spring on the breakfast, but now it makes complete sense to me. also, i used to think balloon was entirely the victim in this relationship, while now i know that he has his own faults and own baggage in that regard. it's weird -- they hate each other, but at the same time they're dying to be liked by one another. god i love these freaks...
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bicheetopuff · 13 hours
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Grill I have a sudden thought. Epiphany if you will.. Call it curiosity even!
Kirishima is kind of a parallel torwards Izuku in some way when being friends with Kats (just more, confident and less bullying and Kiri being a rock)
But what about Iida?
like, For some reason- Iida does seen Izuku as a rival and kind of want to prove himself that he can be more with or without izu-
I am- I'm not sure how to word this. I am not good with words, but I think what I want to say that Izu and Kats kind of have a type when befriending others
Iida & Katsuki (Similarity)
Loud
Studios
Prideful
Not chill
Goal minded (I'm stupid maybe)
Rule binding (Kats is just very chaotic in responding to rules)
Both probably sleeps at 8 PM
I'm not sure anymore I think you can list it better than I do-
Help this is not even remotely a coherent thought, so please just ignore it if it doesn't make sense
Have Izu for your troubles!💞
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bkdk is the only ship I ship, just- thoughts
Don’t worry, bkdk is constantly on my mind too, I get it.
I actually really love the way Izuku and Iida’s relationship parallels Katsuki and Kirishima’s and it makes me kinda sad that people stopped talking about them.
I wouldn’t say that they parallel in dynamic very much, but they parallel in a sense that Katsuki and Izuku are so obviously jealous of each others friends. Well… not jealous, but there’s definitely a feeling of, “I’m glad he found a friend who treats him the way he deserves to be treated, because I am in no place to be the one to give him that no matter how much I want to,” kind of mutual insecurity. And it’s made so blatantly obvious (even being confirmed in an interview) that I genuinely wonder what Horikoshi was thinking when he decided to do it. Like, what were his intentions with that? Outside of obvious yearning?
Like, I feel like Iida and Kirishima is who bkdk wishes the other could see them as. Kirishima has that same overly positive spirit and self sacrificial heroic attitude that Izuku has that Katsuki hates so much. The difference is, Izuku’s self sacrificial attitude isn’t healthy while Kirishima’s is, because Kirishima’s quirk is literally a shield which makes it nearly impossible for him to inflict injuries onto himself deliberately like Izuku does. Kirishima is Izuku without the fatal flaws that worries Katsuki so much. Now with Iida, he’s an organized goody two shoes with a tendency to let his emotions spill over in a scary/somewhat violent way, just like Katsuki. However, Iida is also missing Katsuki’s fatal flaws. Iida is stubborn but he’s able to let people into his life and he doesn’t have an explosive temper, nor does he have an extremely inflated ego. He has a similar social pressure that Katsuki had growing up with his family and other adults in his life pre-projecting him to be a great hero and having him set a standard for himself that he isn’t able to reach until realizes his weaknesses, which he’s able to do a lot faster than Katsuki was able to.
They don’t just parallel in their relationships, but they parallel narratively too fairly often. I touched on it a bit in this post [x], but I’ll explain it a little more since I find it fascinating.
Since Izuku views Kirishima as Katsuki’s ideal friend, and Katsuki views Iida as Deku’s ideal friend, they kind of act on it in a way that ended up setting up the whole narrative about hand holding in the story.
With this,
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Being a clear call back to this:
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(I also wanna point out that the memory of Ochako saying that “he’ll think it’s disgraceful to get rescued” being recalled in both of those chapters)
I feel like both “You’ve always managed to outpace me!!” and “I probably shouldn’t be the one…” are proof of that insecurity I mentioned earlier. They truly don’t believe that they’re the most important people to each other, and their mutual belief in that just kind of proves them wrong ironically. These two scenes is them indirectly extending their hand through someone else, because they think that someone else would do it better.
There’s way too much emphasis on them being scared to hold hands for it to be considered platonic, IM SORRY BUT IM NOT BUYING IT
I’m sorry if this wasn’t coherent, it’s literally 2am where I am…
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theondnonly · 2 days
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it's only been 3-4 days and I still am in a break but holy moly bro, the Zerum with Sebastian situation is mad crazy.
usually I avoid drama in fandom, but I think I should give a piece of opinion this time. Why are y'all so mad that Sebastian is canonly married? Or is that even what y'all are mad with at this point? I get it, Zerum made a lot of "irritated" choices, but Sebastian is still rightfully HERS and still is HER character, if she wants him to be taken, then so be it, the fact that she have to deal with many hate and d3@th thr3@t over wanting HER character to be taken/not single,it is insane.
I do not want to sugarcoated or take sides either, what she did is unprofessional and immature, but I still don't think she deserves to be treated so badly by the fandom. "But Zerum doesn't want us to self-ship with her character!!!! She doesn't want us to have fun!!!" Last time I checked, Zerum doesn't want to have selfship IN THE DISCORD SERVER, and if you're on the server, follow the rules or just simply leave? You can still post it freely on any platform (take this as a grain of salt tho since my memory isn't the best, feel free to tell me if I'm talking stupid)
and who cares if he's married, bro y'all can literally make an AU where he is still single and a silly fish guy who sells items for the expandable like I did, it's not that difficult, use your brain come on. I see people make AUs, change a character's design/personality, and ship them with someone from a different fandom, nobody will bait an eyes
last thing, I'm sick and tired of people seeing one small misinformation about Zerum, and immediately agree on it just to hate on her, friendly reminder she's still human, she has feelings too, and maybe a lot of irl problem, can we please be a decent human and leave her alone? She is gatekeeping HER character, not murdering someone.
I do not agree with Zerum's choices, but I still wish her the best after everything, she doesn't deserve to be ridiculed imo, I know this isn't gonna change much, but a tiny voice is better than being silent forever.
I apologize if this is a long rant/post and the wording is hard to read btw, I'm not good with writing or make a lot of sense out of it, but I hope you get what I'm trying to say
TLDR : Zerum's action is immature, sure, but the way the fandom treats her over a fictional character is stupid.
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deathdetermineslife · 9 hours
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this will be a long winded yap session however I want to answer something in regards to the poll you made.
i personally don't think nonsharers are "doing too much" or "being obnoxious", actually, I think they're the only real part of the ficto community. sharers don't see their f/o as their real partner. this is a fact. you do not love them like we do. and honestly it's just a shame so many nonsharers get hate because!!! we!!! actually love our partners!!!
you wouldn't want to share your real partner, would you? no, probably not, therefore why would you be okay sharing a fictional one? you aren't ficto! and I'm honestly sick and tired of people selfshipping for a hobby because you do not belong in this community! you are not really and truly ficto. plain and simple.
nonsharers are the only valid form of selfshipping imo. I'm and sure if I sent this in off anon I'd be lynched, so, I won't. but this is the opinion of most nonsharers. we don't like you guys, you make us look stupid. okay send tweet bye have a good morning/night/evening.
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hey anon so actually what the fuck
there's so much to unpack here. first of all, hating on an entire (valid, may I add) part of the community is crazy work. second of all, some people are polyamorous. do you know that? not everyone is monogamous. third of all, I don't exactly know if this was directed at me considering one, I am ficto (which ??? you don't have to be nonsharing to be ficto,,, let me get out the ficto handbook and check here—), and two, I am a sharer, which doesn't make me any less ficto?
let's break this down; sharers make the ficto community (the "real" ficto community) look stupid how? because we share our partners? and this effects you... how? this is a genuine question. how does me wanting other people to love my husband (because lord knows he deserves it) making the ficto community look stupid? I myself am not poly, but would you go up to a polyamourus ficto and tell them they aren't really ficto because... they're fucking poly??? I'm trying to wrap my head around this.
there's actually so much happening in this I'm struggling to fucking understand. hobbyists are also selfshippers! they are selfshipping! what! you don't have to be exclusively ficto to selfship... also another thing we're forgetting, fictosexuality is a spectrum. I am exclusively ficto, but not everyone is??? and it's crazy to confidently say "sharers don't see their f/o as a real partner THIS IS A FACT" because it's not. he is my real partner. he's the only person I want to be with for the rest of my life. where are you getting this information anon.
why do so many in this community insist on being genuinely so hateful. no one is making this community look stupid other than you for being an absolutely terrible and mean person. we DO NOT put other people down on this account. you're right anon, people would be on your ass if you said this publicly, because this is flat out just mean. no better way to phrase that. you need to do some serious introspection if you think entire groups of people aren't valid for something that has no effect on your own selfshipping.
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howlsofbloodhounds · 21 hours
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I think the only headcanon I like and remember consistently is Killer having attachment issues in the way
When any relationship gets too real, he does his best to push the other one away. Actively doing things he knows the other one won't like so they'll leave him, because he doesn't deserve any kind of good-ish relationships. He thinks they'd do better in life without him. Uhh I think it's just a case of self-hatred, if I know my emotions right(which I don't)
Yes i agree. Although I think the reasons behind this isn’t as straight forward as it seems. Very important to keep in mind that Killer has a dissociative disorder—this will affect his attachments. Such as in his Stages.
For Stage 2, i genuinely think he is not interested in emotional connections, or at least is convinced he is. He views them as a threat to his independence and emotional detachment, and views himself as not capable of having them.
He prefers to live his fantasies out in his mind where it’s safer and less risk—where he has control. The second anything comes too real, and he starts filling engulfed, he will detach himself and start actively self sabotage to make them leave. This is to protect himself, and only himself.
There isn’t exactly a sense of “I don’t deserve this/you,” exactly. The most I can see this mindset cropping up is in his relationship with Color. For everyone else it’s more like, “I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.” (Which is rich, considering his entire codependency shit with Nightmare. Silly little un-self aware bastard he is.
Although with Nightmare he doesn’t really have to worry about giving a shit about Nightmares emotions genuinely unless they impact him—he just does what he’s told or what he has to, and in return he gets purpose and direction.)
This is his schizoid and antisocial tendencies. Which i headcanon killer to have traits of in Stage 2. I think Stage 2 would have a dismissive avoidant attachment style.
In Stage 1, it’s much like you said—feeling undeserving—but also feeling deeply afraid of being engulfed, controlled, rejected, or abandoned or hurt again—although he deeply craves emotional connection and validation and safety.
For me, personally, Stage 1 is either anxious preoccupied attachment style, or fearful avoidant.
I’m not quite certain about how it’d manifest in Stages 3 and 4—mostly because killer doesn’t really attach much in these states. These two have bigger things to worry about than getting attached—and possibly don’t even conceive things like relationships.
Which, yeah, these are dissociative adaptations meant to keep killer alive or avoid suffering in ways that may be outdated to his current situation. Based on certain interpretations, Stage 3 is more likely to be entirely focused on the immediate moment and himself—nothing and no one else. Stage 4 is entirely unlikely to be focused on itself at all.
This would likely change and develop when Killer manages to form genuine connections and escape the dangerous abusive environment he is in— such as with Color, and then perhaps eventually with the rest of the Epic Sanses and the Chromatic Crew. And of course, the Stages are all still the same person— so there will be ripple effects.
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shirayuricky · 1 day
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better than him | zhang hao & sung hanbin
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(dividers by @cafekitsune) (requested by anon)
- apart of shirayuricky's 100 followers event -
pairing: zhang hao x sung hanbin x fem! reader (poly)
genre: slight angst, smut, fluff
warnings: unprotected sex (pls use protection), p in v sex, oral (m receiving), pet names (sweetheart, baby)
prompts used: 5 - "do you like it when i touch you like that?" , 10 - "bend over." , 28 - "mine." , 33 - "good girl."
word count: 0.7k
a/n: only the ex-crush part is actually a true experience of mine lol. thank you so much for requesting, anon :)
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you felt a little down than usual. and whenever you feel down, you get touch-deprived too. you were sitting on the couch, watching a documentary on nature to kill off the time, and hopefully lifting up your mood.
sipping a glass of water, hao and hanbin walked towards you and sat on either side of you, you between them. "y/n, you seemed a little sad." hanbin said. "yeah, the man i used to have feelings for is apparently such a jerk." you sigh.
"he doesn't deserve you, y/n. you're an amazing girl. it's his loss for not being up to your standards." hao chimed in. hanbin agrees with him, head nodding slowly.
"i would want a comforting hug. that would do the job." you said. the both of them complied, two pairs of arms wrapping around you.
the three of you remained in that position, your eyes glued on the tv screen in front of you. "a documentary?" hanbin asked. "yeah. they say nature helps in easing the bad feelings." you answered.
"y/n, nature is nice, but you know? we can provide you another type of relief." hao said. "what kind of relief?" you asked. "we'll show you." hao answered.
hao leans his face closer to yours, lips almost brushing against each other. "can i kiss you, sweetheart?" he asked. "yes, you may." you accepted. he slowly kissed you, before he deepens it. and it made you gasp. hao took this chance and slid his tongue into your open mouth, swirling it against yours. he then lets go, the both of you breathless. "damn, that felt...hot." you admitted. "but there's something hotter than his kiss." hanbin said. "and what's that?" you asked.
hanbin pulled you towards him. "can i touch you?" he asked. you nod, giving him the permission. his touch started soft, caressing your shoulders and arms with a soft touch. but as the seconds fly, his touch starts to ignite a heat within you, his hands are everywhere. your shoulders, your arms, your chest and your thighs. he left every single inch untouched.
a lot of breathy gasps escape your lips, your hand on his back, trying to bring him closer to you. "do you like it when i touch you like that?" hanbin asked. "like it so much, hanbin.." you said in between gasps and soft moans. "stand up." hanbin instructed. you stood up as what has been told. "bend over." hao said, pointing to the armrest of the couch.
you bent over the armrest, both hanbin and hao undressing you before undressing themselves. hanbin approaches behind you, slowly pushing his cock into your already wet core. a lengthy moan escaped your lips as he began to thrust himself in and out of you.
hao made his way to you and shushed you with a kiss. it felt so difficult, hanbin was fucking you so good. "good girl." hao said in between kisses. before you could respond, hanbin pulls out of you and laid you down on the couch.
"suck on his cock." hanbin said, pushing himself back in you, thrusting roughly. you took hao's cock into your mouth, your mouth, tongue and the vibrations from your moans made his mind feel cloudy.
hanbin then applies pressure on your clit with his thumb, rubbing it at every thrust. "mine." hanbin said. "all ours to pleasure." hao continued. you are such a mess beneath the two, but you like it so much. "gonna cum for us, baby?" hao asked. you let out a hum, saying yes.
it didn't take long. moments after, you cum, your walls throbbing around hanbin's cock. and that made hanbin cum intensely, spilling his load into you. hao then did the same, painting your mouth white as some of his cum spills out of your mouth. you were fast enough to put it back to your mouth to swallow it.
the three of you are spent but satisfied, your body now between hanbin's and hao's. both of them took turns to kiss you. "took us so well, baby." hao praises. "he's right. and we fuck much better than the man you used to crush on." hanbin said. you giggled. "yeah, right. i don't deserve him at all." you said. "that's our girl." hanbin gives you another kiss.
safe to say, your mind is now occupied by the both of them. and of course, they have a lot of love and care to give to you.
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eldrichthingy · 11 months
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I really... physically, like literally can't handle Astarion's good ending and I do love it, but I hate how it makes me feel so much pain I can't believe it. That scene when he kills Cazador is so fucking heavy yet yes, catharsic and beautiful, but it's so fucking heavy I could handle seeing it only ONE time and swore that I'll never repeat it again. That's just my own opinion, it breaks my heart and it's truly so well-written, but I hate seeing it. I hate the ending where he's forced to return to living in shadow, I hate when he burns on sun and I hate how companions (mostly) say something rather.. jokingly? I hate how the moment after he finally has true freedom, he's forced to not see the colours of life ever again (untill, of course, the cure is found). Especially in his own origin non-ascended ending. It seems even more... tragic. There are so many moments in this route that just... make me burst into tears. For me, this ending is much heavier and heartbreaking than ascendant one. It's so hard to process for me. Which might be a reason why I prefer ascended Astarion much more - because I don't have to see, experience all that and feel like my heart have been shattered to thousand pieces. For sure, it's very... satisfying? But I personally can't stand it for this simple reason: it's painful. And I'm hurting- like, badly.
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jeffreyfrancoeur · 4 months
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Can we just...stop comparing Colin to Anthony? Please? They aren't remotely close to the same person, and it's frankly disheartening to see time and time again now.
"Colin had no trauma related to love and self worth to deal with like Simon and Anthony had."
Unless I am very much mistaken, Colin and Anthony have the same father. They both watched said father die from a bee sting. They both watched their mother hold her dying husband in her arms and sob because she just lost the love of her life. The only difference? Anthony was 18, and Colin was 10-12, depending if we're talking show or book. Regardless, watching his father die absolutely gave Colin trauma.
Colin was sent off to Eton not months after his father died. He never was able to process it with his own family, because they stuck together and processed it together. But Colin had to go away to school. And when he was home, he would bring flowers and play games and try to keep everyone smiling. The only way he felt useful was to focus on everyone else's happiness and diminish his own needs.
He went away on travels each year to try to find himself, process his own trauma and experiences. His engagement to Marina blew up in his face, so he immediately left to go traveling, to lick his wounds away from the rest of the ton. And while he was gone, Penelope was the main one to read and reply to his letters. When he got back, his own family diminished him, said it was a waste of time, that his "prattling on about his travels" was boring. So what did that teach Colin? That his family doesn't care about him. Doesn't value him. Doesn't find his time, his experiences, worth it. Eloise says to Pen (in front of Colin) that she found his letters about Greece dull, and couldn't finish them.
So at the beginning of season 3, when he's returned from another summer away, after no one in his family replied to a single one of his letters, and in the carriage to the presentation, he's absolutely going to not want to talk about his travels with Anthony. "Who are you and what have you done to our brother?" You happened to Colin, Anthony. Colin is masking and pretending like his travels weren't a big deal, that they didn't affect him, when he straight up tells Penelope later that he used the time away to remake himself into a new man. To try out a new persona, away from the ton, where no one knew him as Colin Bridgerton, or as a Bridgerton at all. He was just some nameless man.
He felt like he had no one back home to care about him, so the problem must obviously be him. That there was something wrong with who he is as a person, and that maybe this new version of himself would finally make the people back home--and his family--care about him. Maybe this version would finally be the version of him that's good enough.
So when he comes back to London, he's a flirt. He plays at being a "rake." He sleeps with random women. He goes out drinking with his "friends" all the time, laughs with them at their conquests. But he doesn't enjoy any of it. His mother tells him that he's always been one of her most sensitive children, always putting others first, helping them, trying to lighten the mood. But she also says that he downplays himself for the sake of others. That he puts on armor, that he needs to not put others first so he can ensure that the armor will not some day rust and be unable to be removed. She is possibly the only person who sees Colin, truly sees him.
He feels like he needs to hide his sensitive side, be less needy, be stronger, be more manly. (I would eat my hat if Anthony hasn't told him to "be a man" more than once.) This flirty rake is not who he is at his core. At his core, he is kind, and sensitive, and craves connection. He craves connection so deeply. He wants to be seen, to be loved, to be cared for, to be cherished. Ultimately, he wants someone to value him, like he does for all those around him that he cares about. His family ignored him for that entire summer, and he still brought back incredibly thoughtful gifts for each of them, that shows how much he knows them and loves them. He wants to be able to love, care for, and cherish someone in return.
How is his desire for love and to be loved and this ease in which he creates a new Colin to try and please everyone else not a trauma response related to love and self worth?
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evilhasnever · 9 months
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"lxc could do better than jgy" "lxc deserves better"
listen, we all agree that lan xichen deserves the world, but what he wants is A-Yao. End of story.
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mischiefprincess · 4 months
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I've been thinking a lot about Loki and Frigga these days, I don't think she's an evil, manipulative monster like some people but I do think she's a very flawed mother, from what we see in the movies she's very quick to justify and sugarcoat Odin's actions, Yes there's a deleted scene where she confronts him about Thor's banishment but it was deleted for a reason, in the movie itself we see her telling Loki that "there's always a purpose to everything your father does", she's always defending him, never her sons and that tells us a lot about the kind of mother she is, idk if it's bc she puts her position as queen above her position as a mother but she always stand by Odin's side no matter what.
Ofc we know she asks Odin not to kill Loki in tdw but that's just the bare minimum she could do, she always does everything thinking about pleasing Odin above all, she goes visiting Loki as a illusion, in secret to not anger her husband, when Loki is going through the trauma of finding out the truth about his adoption she never acknowledges any responsability for what she and Odin did, she justifies his lies agian by saying he lied to protect Loki
She doesn't acknowledge Loki's pain or his right to be angry at them, she tells him he's their son as if that's enough to heal his wounds, she doesn't ask for forgiveness and doesn't offer Loki any comfort bc her husband was taking a nap and she had to stay by his side at all seconds, it doesn't matter that her son had his whole sense of identity stripped away from him, holding Odin's hand was way more important than giving Loki a hug or anything else
I think at some moment Loki realized that she cared more about being Odin's queen than being their mother bc she'd never stand up for her sons and defend them from the abuses Odin put them through, she just kept justifying it bc she wouldn't dare going against her king, it must've hurt for Loki, realizing that he was truly all by himself in Asgard, he couldn't count on his own mother to publicly defend him from the humiliations he undoubtedly suffered, she would just sneak into his chambers and whisper some words of encouragement privately but when in public he was entirely on his own and he knew it
That's why I care more about Loki reuniting with his friends/found family than him going to New Asgard or to Asgard in the past, I have no doubts that he loves his family with his whole heart and he wants to see them again but I love the new family he built for himself in the show, he has Mobius who will defend him with everything he has and will be his emotional support, validating his feelings and genuinely listening to him, he NEVER felt like he belonged in Asgard but in the show he finally found his place, he found the people he belonged to (as stated by the crew) and he fought to save them for hundreds of years so there's no way I'd want him to leave his new home for him to go back to the place where he was mistreated, belittled and mocked just for being who he was, I want him to stay in the place where feels free to be his true self thank you very much
(Ofc that doesn't mean I don't want him and Thor to reunite again, I just think it's best for him to stay with the people he chose to be his family)
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Okay I thought I was done but apparently I'm not. I need to talk more about this banter you can get during the Legacy DLC between Aveline and Warden Carver because it makes me want to scream.
Aveline: I'm glad you found a place with the Wardens. Carver: Well, it's not the city guard, but it'll do. Aveline: Carver... it wasn't the place for you. Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well...
In my last post, I talked about how Aveline had no place telling the guard to refuse Carver's application, regardless of if he was "right" for the job or not. But I believe he would've made a great guard, and getting that job not only would've provided for him and his family during a desperate time, but would've prevented him from either fate of becoming a warden or a templar. He was unfairly robbed of a chance to prove himself because Aveline believed he wasn't right for the guard.
This is one of the banters I brought up but didn't go too in depth about. At this point, it's been between 3-6 years since Act 1, depending on if you decided to do Legacy in Act 2 or Act 3, and every line here is important.
Carver's response to Aveline saying she's glad he "found a place" with the wardens is so telling. Not being accepted by the guard is still on his mind after all this time. He wouldn't bring it up if it didn't still bother him, and implies that he still would've preferred the guard over the wardens.
Which... yeah. Listen, I'm a dedicated "Carver joins the Grey Warden" player. I don't like leaving him behind to become a templar, and I certainly don't like him dying. For me, the Grey Wardens are the best outcome he has. It’s where he seems the happiest and finds the most fulfilment, and it fits well with how I play my Hawke. But it obviously has some tragic issues.
Like the fact that becoming a Grey Warden only delayed his inevitable death within the Deep Roads. Eventually his Calling will come, and Carver will go back down there and fight until the darkspawn eventually kill him. I'm sure that's not traumatic to think about given he was a soldier at Ostagar and then watched Bethany die at the hands of an ogre. Oh, and there's the whole nightmares and voices thing.
Carver didn't choose this life for himself. It was either this or death, but a "what if?" still lingers in his mind about the city guard.
Something Aveline ruined for him.
And continues to ruin.
Aveline: Carver... it wasn't the place for you.
You hear that? In the distance? That's me screaming.
I must reiterate; what makes Aveline believe it's her place to tell Carver whether or not the city guard was right for him? Why did she think she should get a say in whether or not the guard takes him? What's made it HER call?
And still, after all this time has passed, she believes it wasn't right for him and she's unwilling to consider otherwise. Maker forbid she do some reflection and question if she was in the right for interfering at all, too!
Carver is standing right there before her, proving everything she said about him wrong, and she just doubles down. There's no reason to say this to him unless she's trying to remind him of his place; he's a Grey Warden, and she's Guard-Captain of Kirkwall's city guard. But c'mon, Aveline, he's hardly a threat to your precious guard anymore given the whole dedication to killing darkspawn thing he has now.
Maybe if you paid more attention to the threats within your guard, Kirkwall would be a safer place with less murder going around? Just saying!
But isn't that how it's always been? Aveline putting him in his place, making sure Carver remembers she's always outranked him?
Carver: Did you approve my application? Aveline: I can't make you a guard, Carver. Carver: We were both soldiers. Why won't they take me? Aveline: I was an officer. And I follow orders. Carver: [laughs] No you don't. Aveline: I also think of others before myself. You seem tired of that, and that's dangerous. Carver: Just when it's not my choice. You told them not to take me, didn't you? Aveline: Yes.
That he should remember who he's talking to?
Carver: I'm surprised you still travel with us, Aveline. Aveline: Carver, don't. Carver: You're ever so busy with the guardsmen. It must be a burden to slum with the refugees. Aveline: It's oddly comforting that you insult me like I'm family. Carver: That wasn't... no, I didn't mean that. Aveline: I know. But you should be glad that's how I took it.
That she's in charge?
Aveline: Your form's sloppy, Carver. Stiffen up or the darkspawn will take your blade. Carver: Right. I'll keep that in mind. Aveline: And you're angry, why? Carver: You didn't fare any better than I did the last time we faced darkspawn. Aveline: If they take your blade, people die. That's not happening again. Stiffen up. Carver: Yes ma'am.
Oh, and she used to spy on him [and Hawke].
Aveline: I don't like some of the people you've been associating with, Carver. Carver: Talk to my brother/sister. He/She's the one in charge. Aveline:  Maybe, but I know you get around. This city's full of people who are dead set on ending badly. I don't want to see you end up the same way. Carver: Would asking you to stop spying on me help in the least? Aveline: No.
That's their banter.
But sure, she's glad he found a place in the wardens. I don't think she's being ingenuine when she says that, but I think it's a little more complicated than a mere "congrats on doing well, I knew you could do it."
But Carver's response? Oh Maker's ass. It actually hurts me.
Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well...
I... what can I even say?
He accepts it, but you can tell it hurts to do so. It DID cost a lot. More than Aveline will ever understand. And it doesn't matter now! He can't become a guard now anyway, so what would be the point in him disagreeing with her? Carver acts as the bigger person here because he does get it, even if Aveline doesn't.
But it's that last part... that last damn part... Don't be alarmed, that screaming you hear is still me.
Here's the deal; Carver acknowledges that he could be an ass back in Act 1. Hell, he acknowledges it IN Act 1. For example, when you talk to him after finding your grandfather's will, he's an ass to you about Bethany no matter what you say.
But y'know what? You can be the biggest piece of shit to him and have Hawke literally call him a "lazy brat with a chip on his shoulder," and Carver will still be the one to be apologetic for what he said and attempt to explain his feelings.
"Brother/Sister... I feel... I don't know. It's like Mother taking things out on us. She was just scared. I don't have a place in the life she's trying to bring back…"
Carver can be an ass, but he's aware of that and actively tries to change his behavior. If you bring him and Fenris with you on the Mark of the Assassin DLC, there's a moment where Carver says, "You still don't like me? I've tried to change." And if you bring Varric, he once again acknowledges that he used to be an ass.
BUT... that being said. If you don't remember, "I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I?" is referencing back to this conversation in the barracks of Act 1:
Hawke: This must be a very different pace from serving King Cailan. Aveline: It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar? Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.
Now, I've already expressed my beef with Aveline over insulting Carver in the middle of the barracks just because he doesn't agree with her view point on Ostagar... but consider the fact that Carver says nothing. He just lets her insult him without a complaint! Carver Hawke, who tends to complain! And he says nothing!
Not only that, but he actually internalized that insult enough that years later he's able to repeat it back to Aveline word for word, and all she has to say is, "Well..."
This isn't the same thing as him reflecting on his past behavior and acknowledging his flaws. This is Carver accepting a snide jab Aveline made that hurt him because apparently he was wrong for not wanting to discuss any trauma Ostagar left him with as openly as she does.
Oh, and don't forget that any other companion you brought along dogpiles on, too!
Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well... Varric: No shit. Fenris: Insufferable. Isabela: Legendary. Anders: Maker, yes. Sebastian: I've heard as much. [If Hawke has a humorous/charming personality] Hawke: Spoiled, annoying, thick-headed, brattish little nitwit of a... oh, have we stopped?
Y'all ever wonder why he's so on edge or hostile with the other companions?
Also, I have to point out that Merrill is the only companion who doesn't say anything in agreement if she's there. In fact, across all their banter, Merrill's never been rude or insulting toward him. All she does is ask him if he's talking dirty to her and compliments him on what a great sworder he is. It's pretty obvious why Carver develops a crush on her, c'mon.
But to wrap this up-
This banter strikes a nerve due to how telling it is about both characters involved.
Carver has grown and done what he can to improve himself, but there's regret that lingers, a longing for a better life he could've had if given a chance. Maybe he would've failed, maybe he would've succeeded. But there's nothing he can do now, so he looks forward, just as he's always wanted to do. He's a damn good Grey Warden who wants to do right.
Aveline remains stagnant. She hasn't changed, nor has she improved, and maybe she would if she could figure out how to dislodge her head from her own ass. She still believes she was in the right to tell the guard not to accept Carver's application despite knowing the Hawke's were desperate and that Fereldan refugees couldn't find work. She knew Carver's a skilled soldier who fought at Ostagar just as she did. The guard wasn't the place for him so she's in the right to deny him any chance. Aveline knows best.
And y'know what, I think all I have left to say is...
Fine, Aveline. You're right. It wasn't the place for him.
Carver was too good for your city guard.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing#painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her#i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but#the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach#streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow#im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected#i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes#not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her#how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want#her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest#but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b#so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so#much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming#i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby#unrelated
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