#don’t even get me started on the rodents and birds

[lennie4everz]

Save roaches from your local Petco and Petsmarts they starve their feeder insects. What’s the point of a live feed roach if you let it rot on your shelves. They can live up to five years btw, and are very docile creatures that eat veggies. Very cute.

[mr-paul-phoenix-downer]

something about the indoor vs outdoor cat debate brings out the worst in people who love to tell on themselves for being bad pet owners. no other kind of pet owner lets their beast roam willy nilly and it’s always the worst excuses. Just don’t own them then.

Cats are a luxury not a right and simply because you can own one doesn’t mean you should. This goes for all kinds of animals. Dog owners aren’t safe from criticism cause many of them are just as negligent.

[cityofjieun]

★ . . . . -ˏˋ 2KIDS ROOMˊˎ | EP. 3 - JIA x HAN

date: february 2022 era: maniac word count: 1.4K

a/n: this took a lot longer than i planned and i'm not sure if i like it but if i don't post it now i literally never will. 2 ji is a realtionship thats very dear to me so i hope i did them justice. please lemme know what you think 🙇🏽‍♀️

THE 2KR INTRO PLAYS, FEATURING A COMPILATION OF THE TWO GIGGLING AT EACH OTHER’S EXPENSE, THE OTHER MEMBER USUALLY STARING BLANKLY OR STRUGGLING TO NOT RETURN THE SMILE.

HAN: [sitting on the couch by himself, looking off camera] are you going to come over here so we can start or are you going to stall a little longer?

JIA: [OFF CAMERA] i’m waiting for manager-nim to find the clause in my contract that says i wouldn't have to film with han-ssi outside of group schedules... i think this is a mistake.

HAN: [GIGGLING BUT LOOKING TOWARD THE CAMERA] do you see how difficult jia-nim is… aish, she’s caught the celebrity disease.

JIA: and you would know all about that, oppa-nim [ SITTING DOWN ON THE COUCH ] i mean, you caught it before you were even famous.

HAN: okay, moving on!

꩜

SEUNGMIN: han and jia.

FELIX: they’re like oil and vinegar.

CHANGBIN: in what way??

CHAN: they don’t mix necessarily, but they still go together well.

[ FELIX HUMS IN AGREEMENT ]

꩜

JIA: [ CLAPS ] chidongz 2kids room!

HAN: i still don't know how to feel about that?

JIA: you learn to live with it, i mean it’s a cuter way of calling us rodents…

HAN: [SIGHS]

JIA: anyways, when was the last time we hung out, han-ssi?

HAN: i remember we watched that j-drama you saw on tiktok together but i can’t exactly remember when that was. i see you so much that it kind of blurs together.

JIA: honestly, we are together a lot. you are a homebody, so we don’t actually go out as much as i wish we would, but we usually hang out together at the dorms.

꩜

HYUNJIN: have you noticed that they always tend to end up at our dorm?

JEONGIN: which is interesting, because you'd think jisung-hyung would just come over to ours more because jieun and lino-hyung are there and he could kill two birds with one stone.

[ THE TWO LAUGH]

MINHO: ??

HYUNJIN: that gives him too much credit, it's too sensible.

MINHO: [POINTEDLY IGNORING HYUNJIN] i think it's because jisung-ah thrives in his own personal space, while being home for too long might make jieunnie feel a bit trapped.

꩜

HAN: but we did go out recently to... [TRAILING OFF] umm… what was it…

JIA: [CUTTING HIM OFF] so the time we spend together means nothing.

HAN: stop.

[ THEY STOP LOOKING AT EACH OTHER SERIOUSLY FOR A MOMENT BEFORE JISUNG BREAK INTO LAUGHTER FOLLOWED BY JIEUN ]

JIA: anyways! we went to a cafe in hannam-dong i really wanted to try. i saw it in yoon seung-ah’s vlogs. they’re known for their bagels and that location specifically has a pretty view of the river so i wanted to take insta pictures.

HAN: OH! and we got lost trying to find it?

JIA: because you insisted, we didn't need directions. HAN: [ROLLS EYES] hey, we found it eventually, didn't we? JIA: after wandering around for an hour! by the time we got there the wait was insane.

HAN: [UNDER HIS BREATH] yeah and the bagels were a bit mid for how long we waited.

JIA: we wouldn’t have had to so long if some had gotten up when i told him to originally AND actually used his phone maps [WACKING HIS SHOULDER TO EMPHAZISE HER POINT]

[THE TWO START TO BAT AT EACH OTHER BEFORE THE SCENCE CUTS]

JIA: i think we should go on a trip together next time we have a vacation. we’ve never gone anywhere just the two of us like that it could be fun.

HAN: a vacation with you….

JIA: what’s that supposed to mean???

HAN: i’m kidding i’m kidding

JIA: yeah sure.

HAN: you are very J so you would make a whole itinerary, wouldn’t you?

JIA: i think having a general plan of what you want to do make sure you get to make the most of you time

HAN: hmmm sure...where would we even go?[THINKING] Japan could be fun. Lots of great food, and it's a short trip. What about you?

JIA: [SMILES] Japan sounds fun. But I'd say Europe. We could explore so many different countries and cultures. I’d love to be able to use my french.

HAN: oh, i have an interesting question, what would we do if the other disappeared.

JIA: oh, this gets a bit serious.

HAN: [SERIOUS] it's funny because i think with any other member, i think i’d want to let them have their space because obviously if they run away, it's for some reason and they want to be alone. but i think if you were so upset that you’d isolate yourself, i’d have to check on you immediately. [ TOWARDS THE CAMERA TO AVOID EYE CONTACT WITH JIEUN ] she isn't someone that likes to be by herself, alone time isn’t really something she seeks because she thrives around others, so i think if she's going out of her way to be by herself like that something is really wrong.

JIA: [A BIT STARTLED AT HIS SERIOUSNESS, AS WELL AS THE SLIGHT READ] aww ji…[POKING HIS ARM] i think i'd obviously want to respect the fact that hanji wanted time alone, but i'd have to check in at some point. [SHE PEEKS AT JISUNG BEFORE CONTINUING A BIT BASHFULLY] i know we have very different social batteries, and hanji is pretty good about just letting me know when he needs some time to himself. but i think if he was to go off and not respond i’d be worried.”

꩜

CHAN: honestly, i think out of everyone, jieun has opened up to han the most, besides seungmin.

FELIX: which is interesting because they’re so different.

[THE FOUR MURMUR IN AGREEMENT]

SEUNGMIN: i think they get on so well because they’re aware of how different they are.

CHANGBIN: oh absolutely. the two used to clash a lot, and i think they came to a point where they had to understand how they were different, and what accommodations they need to make to understand the other better.

CHAN: wahh changbin, you're so insightful.

꩜

[SENTIMENTAL SILENCE]

JIA: this may be the only time i every admit to this, but sometimes i wish i were more like you in some ways

HAN: in what ways?

JIA: i mean, like you said earlier i’m not one who enjoys being by themselves. i think when i'm alone for too long i begin to think too hard and get into my own head. honestly, i think not being able to properly spend time alone with myself is a bit unhealthy. i kinda admire the fact that you are capable of being on your own and enjoy your own company.

꩜

MINHO: i’ve been trying to get jieunnie to understand that it’s not wrong to want to be around others and have companionship, it's an innately human thing, you know.

HYUNJIN: she’s a lot like changbin-hyung. he likes to just sit in my room with me to just be there.

JEONGIN: [GIGGLING TO HIMSELF] well, that's because it's you and changbin hyung…

HYUNJIN: …

꩜

JIA: skz-gi behind the camera look like they want us to start wrapping up

HAN: any final words?

[JIA HUMS, SEEMINGLY WEIGHING SOMETHING BACK AND FORTH IN HER MIND, BEFORE SIGHING AND GRABBING ONE OF JISUNGS HANDS]

JIA: i know i don’t say this often but thank you.

HAN: what for?

JIA: being my person i guess? you have always worked really hard to understand me, as well as help me understand myself. i’m so grateful to have a friend like you in my life and i’m so happy i get to live out my childhood dreams with my best friend.

HAN: jieun...

JIA: hey, let me finish. thank you for growing with me thus far, and I'm so excited to see where we go... together.

HAN: jieunnie..

JIA: if you cry so will I

HAN: thank you for understanding me as well. i know i haven't always been the easiest to deal with but y

[ THE TWO SIT IN SILENCE FOR A MOMENT, SOAKING IN JIEUN'S BEFORE JISUNG CLEARS HIS THROAT. THE SOUND MAKES JIEUN SNICKER FOR A MOMENT BEFORE THE TWO DISSOLVES INTO SILENT TEARS. THE VIDEO CUTS TO THE TWO, LESS TEARY BUT NOSES OBVIOUSLY A LITTLE STUFFY]

JIA: well, this was fun.

HAN: should we take our picture and head out?

JIA: yes please [END]

©︎ cityofjieun, all rights reserved. pls, do not copy or repost my work.

[in1-nutshell]

Hi again, I’m here to spread the propaganda of every maximal being a dad lol 😂

Now I request Dinobot as a dad. It would be cute if the sparkling turned into a little bird.

Dinobot would take a lot of time warming up to the kid but I think if megatron ever took the sparkling captive Dinobot would go apeshit.

Yes! Spreading the Maximal Dad's everywhere! Hahaha! I had fun making little bird Buddy with Dinobot.

Hope you enjoy!

Dinobot finding an abandoned sparkling

SFW, familial, platonic, mentions of kidnapping but happy twist, Cybertronian/ Bot reader

Beast Wars

The sparklings beast mode is a canary.

Dinobot has a complicated history.

From being one of Megatron’s top soldiers of the Predacon’s; having to defect to the Maximals; from trying to get along with the team; living up to his warrior’s code of honor; and narrowly escaping death (Just ignoring canon here. Don’t mind me.)

He has his work cut out for him.

“Hey, watch where you’re going Scale belly.”--rattrap

“I would if I saw were you were Vermin.”--Dinobot

“Oh, yeah what about my height? You want to go Chomperface?!”--Rattrap

“Meet me outside in 20 minutes. We will settle it then.”--Dinobot

“…Its literally 3 am. Why are either of you up?”--Cheetor

“We could be asking the same thing to you kid? Go back to bed.”--Rattrap

“But—”--Cheetor

“Go to bed!”—Rattrap and Dinobot

He honestly thinks he has peaked in the weird things that have happened.

Let’s change that with story time.

It was chaos on the battlefield.

It was an interlock shooting battle between the Maximals and the Predacons over the newest pod that had just crashed down.

Dinobot and Rattrap were the closest to the pod hiding behind a rock. They were running out of time and ammunition. The pod had just finished scanning for a life form and the pod’s door was stuck. The bot inside couldn’t get out even if they wanted to.

“I’m going in.”--Dinobot

“Say what?”--Rattrap

“Cover me!”--Dinobot

“Dinobot!”--Rattrap

Dinobot starts sprinting towards the pod while Rattrap was doing his best to keep him covered. The rest of the team soon followed suit. Dinobot yanks the pods door clean off its hinges and grabbed the bot body close to his chassis as he turns to run back. He makes it back to the rock and shields the bot with his body.

“Don’t let the traitor escape!”--Megatron

“Hey Megamouth! Try this on for size!”--Rattrap

“Grenade! Grenade!”--Terrorsaur

“Take cover!”--Waspinator

Rattrap manages to throw a grenade at the Predacons which causes them to retreat. As the smoke clears, Dinobot still has the bot close to his chassis waiting for the sounds of blasters to stop. Then he hears the sound, a sound that he hadn’t heard in eons.

A sparkling chirp.

He quickly looked down and sure enough in his arms was a sparkling. This sparkling was smaller than the average sparkling.

They had a beast mode that honestly made a little difference in their size.

They were still so small.

The sparkling ended up nuzzling themselves further into Dinobots chassis.

Happy chirping noises

“…”—Dinobot and Rattrap

“Don’t you dare.”--Dinobot

“Hey everyone!—”--Rattrap

“Rattrap!”--Dinobot

Oh boy…

Dinobot didn’t want this.

The next few days Dinobot is trying to do his regular duties without being seen by the sparkling. The sparkling, if they found him, would make a beeline into his chassis and start cuddling. His teammates found this funny as Dinobot would try and get out of the sparklings grip, but they would always come back.

“…Coast is clear…”--Dinobot

“Hey there Dinodip.”--Rattrap

“…”--Dinobot

“…”--Rattrap

“…Don’t—”--Dinobot

“Hey Buddy, Dinobot’s here!”--Rattrap

“You insolent rodent!”--Dinobot

Chirpping getting louder.

The sparkling was an energetic induvial that had a terrible habit of getting into bad situations. And it wasn’t like the sparkling was looking for it either.

“So why are we here again?”--Blackarachnia

“It’s a team meeting.”--Silverbolt

“What is it about?”--Tigatron

“It’s about Buddy.”--Airazor

“What about them?”--Dinobot

“Have you notice that they manage to attract a lot of bad things?”--Rattrap

“Oh, I get what you mean.”--Cheetor

“What you lost me. What things?”--Rhinox

“Just the other day I had to save the kid from a falling beam.”--Optimus

“I just checked those things a few days ago.”--Rattrap

“We went outside and Buddy nearly got attack by two snakes, several big fish and a rabbit. How does a mere rabbit attack Buddy?”--Dinobot

“Yeah, maybe we need to see into this.”--Silverbolt

“Wait has anyone seen Buddy?”--Dinobot

Giggling noises

“Oh scrap!”--Rattrap

They kept everyone on the team on edge whenever they went somewhere alone.

Dinobot didn’t care though.

He didn’t care that this little creature gave him spark attacks every time they were in danger. He didn’t care that they got hurt doing the simplest things. He surely wasn’t teaching them some self-defense techniques. He definitely doesn’t freak out when he hasn’t heard their annoyingly cute chirping sound—

Oh…oh…

No, no, no, no, no, he doesn’t care about that pesky little sparkling. Dinobot tries to keep his distance even more after this realization is made. He makes it clear that he doesn’t care to the rest of the team as soon as the parent jokes are made.

He doesn’t know that Buddy was making their way past the room. They only see an angry Dinobot, they think about some flowers they saw earlier. That for sure would cheer him up! So, they mosey on over to the entrance of the base and are on their way to go get the flowers.

It takes a couple of minutes for Dinobot to realize that things are too quiet.

“Where’s Buddy?”--Dinobot

“Oh, they’re right—”--Cheetor

“They’re gone again!”--Rattrap

“Fan out and watch your step!”—Optimus

Now everyone is looking around for any sign of Buddy.

Then they get the call.

The Predacons had Buddy.

“Maximal scum. If you ever want to see your precious bird again then come to the base without your arms. Maybe a negotiation can be reached? Yess.”--Megatron

“Megatron, once I get my servos on you I am going to shove my sword up—”--Dinobot

“Enough. Now come over, if you ever want to see your precious bird again. Yesss.”—Megatron

Everyone is ready to get Buddy back. Dinobot is out for blood, they manage a plan, and they are ready to execute it.

For Buddy.

The Maximals are halfway to the base when they hear a familiar buzzing sound and chirping.

Dinobot is leading everyone.

They remove the thick bush when they find a peculiar scene.

It was Waspinator and Buddy. And it looked like Waspinator was… teaching Buddy how to fly?

“Yes, little bird bot is doing it!”--Waspinator

Happy chirping

Buddy looked at their family and happily chirped and went for Dinobot. For once reciprocated the hug.

“Where is Megatron?!”--Dinobot

“He’zz not here. Only Wazzpinator and little bird bot.”--Waspinator

“What?”--Dinobot

“Megatron wazz going to bring little bird bot to mean Spider bot. Bad things… Wazzpinator didn’t want new friend to get hurt.”--Waspinator

“You… saved them?”--Dinobot

“Yezz. Wazzpinator save little bird bot and want to be Maximal like Lizard bot.”--Waspinator

Dinobot contemplates this as he looks over Buddy seeing no harm was done.

So they all returned with a sleeping Buddy and newly formed Maximal Waspinator.

[redux-iterum]

Charred Legacy: Chapter Sixteen

(AO3 counterpart here.)

Would the humans never go away?

Fireheart had to admit to his own building frustration as each night had the same answer to if the Clan could go back home: they could not, because the cars and humans were still in the forest. Each announcement from whoever scouted over the moorland elicited a louder and louder communal groan. They could all be grateful for the warm air in the Barn as the slush became snow that did not touch their temporary home, but even that was thinning their patience with how stuffy it could get.

What was also thinning quickly was the rodent population in the Barn. Every night it became steadily more challenging to find a mouse—the wisest of them had hid all this time and were not inclined to be discovered just because there was more room for them to wander. Granted, the added difficulty wore out the apprentices and warriors quicker, giving them all something to spend their energy on. Though, as Fireheart thought with every meal, he’d love to spend that energy on finding a mole or bird.

Bluestar and Speckletail allowed cats to walk around outside after the wrestling between apprentices got too loud and frequent, with the caveat that apprentices were to stay with a warrior at all times. To Fireheart’s disappointment, the kits were not included, and the two litters were stuck inside as the rest of the Clan got to explore the farmland.

“I’m sorry, little guy,” Fireheart said to Cloudkit as he prepared to go out with Greystripe. “I wish I could take you with me.”

Cloudkit, to his credit, did not pout about it as much as he could have. He just looked at the ground with a sigh.

Fireheart gave him a friendly nudge with a paw. “I’ll try to find something fun to bring back for you and your siblings. Is that alright?”

The fluffy kit perked up a little and nodded. “‘Kay. Make it really fun.”

Fireheart used the same paw to ruffle his nephew’s head-fur. “I’ll do my best.”

Bramblekit came up beside Cloudkit, glancing at Bluestar as she flinched walking by him. “What kinda fun will it be?” 

Fireheart ignored the look on Bluestar’s face and said, “It’s a surprise. Try to guess before I come back.” 

He turned and trotted away, catching up to Greystripe, and the pair strode off to the Barn’s right.

“I feel bad for the kits,” Greystripe said, shaking a snowflake off of his nose. “If I’m bored, I can only imagine how they’re doing.”

Fireheart opened his mouth and caught a snowflake of his own, taking a pause to marvel at the ice turning to water on his tongue before answering. “And even if they could go outside, there’s not much to do here. I mean, I know we kind of do the same thing every day at home, but…”

“We get to at least travel all over the place wherever we choose,” Greystripe replied. “And we do it a lot—hunting or marking borders or chasing off foxes—which means the nights we get to stay home and relax are so much sweeter, don’t you think?”

“You have a point.” Fireheart’s paw scraped at the very, very thin layer of snow on the ground. “I hope the humans leave soon.”

Greystripe grumbled, “They better. I don’t even know what they think they’re doing in there. The fire’s out.”

“I still think they’re looking for the dogs.”

“For this long? And they wouldn’t have caught them by now?”

“Well…” Fireheart started, before his eyes drifted over to a pair of cats ahead and to the left. “Ask him.”

“Get him to argue your point for you, sure,” Greystripe said with a friendly (restrained) nudge, and then called, “Hey, Ravenwing!”

Their friend looked up from watching Snowpaw pat and scoop at the snow and frozen earth. “Oh, hi. Where are you two going?”

“Just seeing if there’s anything out here that isn’t a mouse.” Greystripe led the way up to him. “Is this a new training tactic?”

Ravenwing gave Greystripe a dry look. “He’s exploring snow for the first time.”

Snowpaw seemed to just now notice the older toms. He straightened up and gestured with a twitch of his fur, something that Fireheart faintly remembered to mean “cold”, to which he nodded. He used a paw to point to Snowpaw and then to the white-dappled ground: that’s you. Snowpaw gleefully nodded back and scooped at the snow again, pulling it towards him in a molehill-lump.

“I’m glad that he’s enjoying himself,” Greystripe said, giving the little tom a fond look.

“Well!”

Eyes turned to Barley, round and smelling like strange meat, as he trotted over to them from the direction of the house. His patched fur, short though it was, flared out merrily.

“That’s the first time I’ve seen a cat like the snow,” he continued. “I sure hope he doesn’t get tired of it—he’s perfect for hunting in this weather.”

Ravenwing huffed a short chuff and turned to his apprentice again. “He’s going to need that coat, yeah. Hunting outside of the Barn is tough enough as it is.”

Barley blinked, then caught on and sighed sympathetically. “Ah, you’ve gotten the fever. Sick of mice, I take it?”

“A little,” Greystripe said. “Isn’t there anything else out here?”

“Well, sort of, but you don’t have to hunt it.” Barley turned around, gesturing with his tail for the warriors to follow.

Ravenwing nudged Snowpaw, getting his attention again, and was the first to go after Barley. Fireheart and Greystripe walked together, and Fireheart frowned as he sniffed the scent coming off of the loner.

What is that? he thought, narrowing his eyes. I could swear I’ve smelled it before…

He got his answer quickly, when Barley took a turn and trotted for a pair of dishes on the outside wall of the Barn. One dish had kibble in it, and the other had several slabs of pale meat. They were raw and fresh, and they smelled so familiar…

“Chicken!” Barley announced proudly. He took a step back, clearing the path to the food. “I only had one chunk myself. By all means, have at.”

Fireheart chanced a look at his friends, predicting their stunned and revolted faces.

“This is from your humans, isn’t it?” Greystripe said, grimacing. “There’s no way I’m eating that.”

Snowpaw tapped Ravenwing and signaled ‘prey’, tilting his head. Ravenwing shook his and said to Barely, “Er, we appreciate the offer, but… I think we’d all prefer natural-caught food.”

Barley, surprisingly, did not look remotely bothered. He rolled a broad shoulder. “Ah, well. I thought I’d offer. Didn’t want it to go to waste. Surely someone’s hungry enough to eat this, though.”

Fireheart thought for a moment. “Greystripe, help me bring some of this to the kits. They won’t mind it’s not mouse.”

“Seriously?” Greystripe squinted at his friend.

“Seriously,” Fireheart said breezily, and maneuvered past Barley to chomp down on a rather thick slab of meat, pulling it away from the bowl. He didn’t wait for Greystripe, just trotted off back in the direction of the doorway, not wanting to admit that the taste of the chicken was good enough to almost make him eat it himself. Going by the surprised noise Greystripe made, he had the same reaction.

Ravenwing and Snowpaw trailed behind as Fireheart entered the Barn, Greystripe now at his side. He called wordlessly and dropped the meat down at his paws, which Greystripe copied, and waved his tail in greeting as the kits waded through and around a pile of hay to investigate, Goldenflower behind them.

“Got a special treat for you, kits!” Fireheart said cheerfully. “Are you hungry?”

A few squeaks of eagerness, and Cloudkit led the charge as they crowded around the chicken and started biting into it without even sniffing it. Fireheart purred, watching their tails wag.

“What is this, honeymouse?” Goldenflower circled the kits and greeted Fireheart with a headbump. “It doesn’t smell like anything I know.”

“Barley’s humans threw out some extra meat for him,” Fireheart said, and just as she opened her mouth, he added, “I know, it’s from humans, but he’s not going to eat it all and it’d be silly to let food go to waste in winter.”

Goldenflower shut her mouth again with a sigh through her nose, though her eyes were affectionate. “Very well, then.”

“’Wh’zi?” Cloudkit asked, chomping on a chunk.

“It’s called ‘chicken’,” Fireheart replied. “It’s a meat only kittypets eat, because it’s given to them.”

Cloudkit’s rich blue eyes widened, surprised and intrigued. He swallowed his mouthful. “You mean they don’t hunt for food?”

“Right. They just eat what they get.” Fireheart caught the start of a grimace on Goldenflower’s face and hurriedly added, “But their food isn’t very good anyway. It’s way better to hunt.”

Cloudkit hummed thoughtfully as he took another bite.

“Well, at least they have something to distract them,” Brindleface said sleepily, yawning as she came around the corner to join the kits and matriarch. “Don’t tell Dustpelt you got them this, he’ll be furious.”

“About what?” Swiftpaw asked as he popped up around the outside of the door, trotting in with Lizardtail and nearly bumping into Ravenwing just ahead of them. When Fireheart gestured to the kits, he had a briefly confused look at what they were eating before saying, “Oh, yeah, don’t tell him about that. Barley offered me some of that stuff earlier, actually.”

“He didn’t take it,” Lizardtail said, in a tone like that was something to be proud of.

Fireheart decided not to comment on that, instead asking, “Did you go out to hunt too?”

Swiftpaw grumbled a sigh. “And there wasn’t anything out there.”

Lizardtail looked at his apprentice humorously, saying to Fireheart, “He’s trying to prove he’s ready for his assessment.” He tapped Swiftpaw with his tail. “Apparently, catching a lot of prey is the qualifier.”

“Something’s gotta be!” Swiftpaw gave his mentor a frustrated scowl. “You even said yourself that it’s about time for me to get my name! I know we’re not at home, but for crying out loud…!”

“Easy, easy.” Lizardtail gave a ‘quiet’ gesture with his paw. “Your sister doesn’t have a name either.”

“And it’s time for her, too!”

“Well, sometimes seer apprentices take longer.”

Swiftpaw grumbled again. Fireheart watched as his paws tip-tapped and his claws poked at the hard ground. Even with the appearance of mere eagerness to get his name, his jaw was clicking a bit and his tail-fur stuck out.

You just want a distraction while you’re not at home, Fireheart thought sympathetically.

“We’re all a little frustrated and bored,” he said aloud. “I get it. I’d love to see Swiftpaw get his name here, honestly. Think of that: he’d be the only cat in ThunderClan to have his ceremony where humans could see.”

Lizardtail’s lip twitched in distaste. “They better not peep in. We’ve been lucky that they haven’t bothered us.”

“Oh, they looked in here,” Goldenflower said, and though her voice was gentle as ever, her claws sank into the straws. “Earlier, when you all were gone.”

“They didn’t come in, at least,” Brindleface said. “Just looked and then left.”

Greystripe finally spoke up with a snort. “Hey, Swiftpaw, maybe your assessment can be chasing the humans away.”

“I could totally do that.” Swiftpaw chuffed even with the overly confident tone. “They’d see skinny old me and pelt it for their house.”

“You’re not that skinny anymore,” Lizardtail said, gently pushing at Swiftpaw’s side. “Ravenwing is way thinner than you. And you’re not fighting any humans.”

“I could fight Terror right now,” Swiftpaw said, nudging Lizardtail back. “A human’s nothing for an assessment.”

“What’s Terror?” Ashkit asked, lifting his head from what remained of the chicken.

“Oh—” Swiftpaw looked down at him, calming down immediately. “It’s a spirit. Uh, a scary one. It shows up as the most frightening thing you can imagine. Kind of a test, I think.”

“Ohhhh,” Ashkit said, blinking blankly. He tilted his head. “Why’s it test you?”

“A ‘test’ is a way to put it, I guess,” Ravenwing said, adding to Ashkit, “In stories, a lot of cats have to face it down and overcome their fear to continue on their quest. It could be a monster, or a Titan, or a human, or an owl. Whatever scares you the most, it sees, and it turns itself into.”

Aspenkit mumbled something nervously, but Ashkit puffed out his chest. “Well, I’m not afraid of nothing. I can fight it!”

Brindleface nosed his ear. “You don’t fight Terror, baby. You just have to be very brave and stand your ground.”

Tawnykit squinted. “That doesn’t sound very hard.”

“It’s harder when it’s the thing that scares you the most,” Ravenwing said, and gave a dark imitation of Yellowfang’s smirk, muttering seemingly to himself, “I’d love to see my Terror. Big stupid ball of judgement.”

Greystripe bumped his head on Ravenwing’s shoulder. “You’re lucky the thing doesn’t exist, then.”

“It totally exists!” Swiftpaw exclaimed, looking shocked. “Why else would we have stories about it?”

“RiverClan’s got poems about talking squirrels,” Greystripe scoffed. “You don’t say those are real.”

“RiverClan’s dumb,” Swiftpaw said, missing Fireheart’s instant frown. “But everyone talks about Terror. WindClan, ShadowClan, everyone. It’s real.”

“I see it every day,” Ravenwing murmured to Fireheart.

Fireheart turned his head away from watching Greystripe and Swiftpaw argue to whisper back, “I don’t think you see it as much as you used to.”

Ravenwing opened his mouth like he was about to make another sardonic remark, then closed his mouth and turned his eyes to Snowpaw, who was sniffing at the remains of the chicken.

“No,” he said quietly. “I don’t. You’re right.”

Warmth—pride, really—bloomed in Fireheart’s chest and he mimicked Greystripe’s headbump to Ravenwing’s other shoulder. “You’re like a whole new cat these days, you know that? It’s amazing.”

Ravenwing made a very soft and calm version of a splutter. “I don’t know…”

“Would you, as an apprentice, have been able to even try and talk to Snowpaw, much less teach him anything?” Fireheart said. “Or tell a story to everyone in the Clan? Or…”

Or expose murders in a trial?

Fireheart swallowed that thought. “Or anything, really? You were too afraid to even talk to Greystripe when I met you.”

He gauged Ravenwing’s eyes, which had turned contemplative. His face was completely serene—something Fireheart didn’t think he’d ever see in his life.

“I just mean to say I’m proud of you,” he added. “We all are, but me and Greystripe especially.”

Ravenwing twitched his whiskers, his eyes still on his apprentice, tussling with Cloudkit.

“Thanks,” he said, and purred under his breath.

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Pets

( Don’t forget to come see my on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord )    

Alien: Why did you invite me over? Human: To introduce you to the newest fluffy member of my family. Alien: I did not think you capable of procreation. Human: Really? Human: How do you think my species has survived so long? Alien: No I wasn’t talking about your species, just you. -------------------- Human: *Throws ball for doggo* *Doggo chases after it* Alien: Why do you repeat this process? Human: Because they love it. Alien: Hmmmmm. Alien: *Uses telepathy to read dogs mine. Dog: Why do they keep dropping this sphere? Dog: Maybe this time they will hold on to it. -------------------------- Human: This is my pet crab “Mr. Snips”, and he is a pirate. Alien: Awe. *Playfully sticks finger out to pet crab* Is that because you let him sit on your shoulder? *Crab reaches out with claw and grabs finger* Human: No, it’s because he’ll cut you. Alien: *Looks nervously at Mr. Snips* -------------------------- Alien: Why do you have three of the felines? Human: Well Otto has been with me the longest for over a decade. Alien: Ok. Human: But when I got a new job I was at home less so I got worried that he’d be lonely so then I got Binbin. Alien: Logical. Human: But then I realized Otto only loved me and didn’t want to play with Binbin so I had to get a new cat who they could play with. Alien: Why did you not just take the second cat back? Human: What kind of stupid question is that? Human: *Mockingly* Why didn’t you just take the second cat back! Human: Why don’t I just shove my poo back in me because I miss it inside me? Alien: That is gross and not at all related to our discussion. Human: You made me upset and I’m swinging wild man! ----------------------------- Alien: Why do you have that bird? Human: It’s a smart bird you dumb dumb. Alien: What makes you say that? Bird: *Squawk* Bird smart, bird smart; you dumb dumb! *Squawk* Human: See what I mean? Human: He’s a smart bird. -------------------------------

Alien: I see your canine also wears a collar. Alien: Does that mean it is kinky too? Human: What the fuck kind of question is that? Alien: I only ask because last night you told me to- Human: *Panic slaps alien to be quiet* --------------------------------- Human: I got a pet turtle. Alien: I see you have finally found something that chews their food even slower than you do. Human: Why do you do me dirty man? Alien: It took you ten minutes to finish chewing a single bite from a carrot. Alien: You know why. --------------------------------

Alien: You have an adorable canine companion. Human: Yeah, he’s the best. *Squeezes doggo’s face cheeks* Human: *In cute voice* If anything ever happened to you I’d start shooting; yes I would, yes I would. *Doggo walks off* Alien: You say the cutest jests sometimes. Human: Who said I was joking? Alien: You can’t tell me you’d- Human: *Places gun on table with loud thud* Alien : *Looks down in silence* Human: Did I stutter? -------------------------------------- Alien: What does this tiny rodent do for fun? Human: I put them in a tiny ball and they run around like it is mad max. Human: Watch. *Puts hamster in plastic ball and they begin running* Human: They become the roomba’s natural predator in that thing. ------------------------------------------ Alien: I see your reptilian is almost as big as you are. Human: Not quite, but he’s getting there. Alien: How can you tell? Human: At night he slithers into bed next to me to sleep. Alien: …………. Alien: You know that they only do that to- Human: -measure themselves to see if they are long enough to eat us; yes I know. Alien: If you know then why in florp’s name do you allow it?!?! Human: You haven’t seen his cute begging face. -------------------------------------------- Alien: Why do you have a spider as a pet? Human: I can see a lot of myself in them. Alien: They both are disturbing and don’t like to be touched? Human: No; more of that they like to dig a hole to be alone and only come out when food is close by.

[assortedvillainvault]

Chance anon here! Sorry if the is a duplicate ask, my internet is acting up. I hope you had a wonderful trip! I’d like some comfort headcanons with either a darksiders character or Starscream, please. You did really well with the Blitzwing comfort headcanons!

Chance anon your patience is legendary, I hope you like this little headcannon/drabble bit!

Mild warning for allusions of self harm, not described and can also be read as the general tolls and incidents of a human living through the apocalypse.

Vulgrim Comfort Headcannons/Drabble

- “What Would You Ask of this Humble Mercha- oh.”

- He blinks down at the awkward, shuffling form of his...favoured little human. Oddly, no other little morsels have accompanied you to his plinth outside the maker tree. From inside, he can barely make out the snores of the other survivors, and the slower but ever present clang of the Black Hammer at work.

- A closer look at you reveals red, swollen eyes, and a lick of salt on the air. Under your dirty sleeves, fresh bandages peek out.

- It doesn’t take much to deduce that the trials and grievances of the apocalypse are taking a harder toll than usual tonight.

- He floats a little lower and brings his voice down. “...do you need to forget, little one?” he croons.

- It takes a couple of...admittedly awkward seconds – but you nod shyly, hesitantly, and a small triumph blooms in his chest. See, he knew he’d figure out humans and their odd little ways eventually! All species could use a distraction from the monotony of war, humans just leaked a bit more often about it, thats all-

- - he stiffens as tiny arms grip at his waist.

- He is certainly on the scrawnier side for a demon, but even so, your bruised little hands can’t meet around his gaunt middle. Mainly because you’ve got your face awkwardly smooshed up against the wares on his belt, but even so...you’re on your tiptoes. Humans are so so tiny it’s ridiculous. Appalling species design. He’d file a complaint if he didn’t have to fight the foreign urge to urge to pick you up and squeeze like some kind of...squishy trauma-toy.

- “...Um.”

- He awkwardly uses the fingertips not encased in gold to carefully pinch your shirt, peeling you awkwardly off him and holding you up like a sad little rodent. He makes a concerted effort not to look at your wobbling lip as he does so.

- “Ah ah ah ah! No, no leaky eyes at me, little one. You know they don’t work...”

- His other hand frantically scrabbles about in the pocket dimension he uses to store his backup wares and dumps a blanket, packet of hot chocolate, mismatched slippers and a switch into your arms before plonking you down and nudging you back towards the maker tree.

- “there there hush hush etc -” he’s not flustered, nope -, “- No need to thank me, run along, I’m adding this to your tab-”

- He’s gone in a burst of purple smoke that is very much not rushed, thank you.

- Later, secure in the secure depth of his serpent holes, he idly listens to the background noise of earth as he waits for the next customer to swing by. Underneath the quiet wind, creaking brickwork, the distant roars of demons and the occasional lingering earthen bird, his ears catch the faint tinny of music, clicking buttons, and the happy little gasps of humans waking up to a game of whatever this...this ‘Animal Crossing’, contraption, is.

- (‘Your Tab’ is never something fully discussed. Vulgrim is fighting every instinct he has to get money out of you for his services, but it’s ok. He starting to consider your company, your time and your touch payment enough. Don’t ever bring it up though.)

Thanks for the ask Chance!

[bnha-more-like-bnh-gay]

Okay, headcannon for Izuku's quirk being able to hear animals speaking. Like when he turned, a bird landed on his window and he can hear them wondering if someone could give them something to eat so Izuku gave the bird a bowl of seed.

!!!!!!!! I LOVE THATTTTTTT !!!!!!!!

Koda and izuku are best friends and Disney princesses

My question is, can the animals understand him too? I’m going to say that they can, but if you want a situation where they can’t, that’s totally valid!!!!! Tell me and I’ll do a different set of headcanons for that!!!!

I like to imagine like,,, 4-5 year old izuku hanging out in his room and a bird flies on his window sill talking to themself about food, and little izuku is just in AWE

He’d be completely overjoyed

You cannot tell me that the absolute ray of sunshine that toddler izuku is would not be like, “oh my gosh, animals, I can understand animals, can they understand me? Do they like me? If I talk to them, will I be talking in bird or do they understand Japanese? I’ll get you seeds!!!!! I wonder if it’s all animals or just birds? I wonder-“ and his brain is going a mile a minute while he just runs into the kitchen trying to ask his mom if they have any bird seed

A very confused inko gives him some bird seed and asks if he’s okay, and he’s trying to articulate that he thinks he got his quirk, but he’s an excited 4 year old with adhd, who just heard and understood a bird and is thinking about what this means for his future career as a hero, so give him a moment

He does tell her what happened, and she asks him what the bird is saying and if the bird can understand them, and he says that they can, and he’s just so happyyyyyy

Angst time, because I am a horrible person /j

Hisashi Midoriya is not happy because the quirk is likely a mutation of some kind as it doesn’t have anything to do with fire breath or attracting small objects

So, he does a deadbeat dad thing and dips

Izuku feels so guilty over it, but he can’t bring himself to hate his quirk (good) he gets to talk to animals! He can help them!!

Inko makes sure to tell him that it isn’t his fault and that he shouldn’t blame himself

Family angst is over!

UA

So, our dearest son, izuku feral Midoriya, 10000% sneaks animals into the entrance exam

I like to imagine that he went to the park beforehand and talked to a shit ton of squirrels and chipmunks and asked them to help him with the entrance exam if they could. He brings them food as a peace offering (irl you shouldn’t feed wild animals, I know this, izuku knows this, but he can tell them why they shouldn’t rely on humans for food, we cannot, so just bare with me)

But yes. Just imagine izuku giving a war cry to all the rodents that are, for reasons unknown to anyone but izuku, standing around the gates of the exam area, and suddenly like,,,, 3 dozen rodents just start running in and tearing wires out of robots

Koda and izuku are fast friends who bond over their love and respect for animals

They both have anxiety too and are the only (at the beginning) members of class a who know/use JSL!

Okay, something that just popped into my head because I was thinking of how he’d use this quirk in the sports festival, and all I could think of was like,,, Pokémon trainer izuku

And honestly,,, kinda love that

Like, he’s just in the little ring with shinsou (does shinsou’s quirk work on animals?? Like, if he asked a cat a question and even if they don’t understand him, they still meow at him, would they be under his control?) anyway, I’m assuming shinsou’s quirk doesn’t work on animals. So, izuku just brings in a fucking bear who he bribed with salmon earlier and shinsou is like, “wow. Fuck.”

But anyway. I like to imagine that izuku has a shit ton of bird houses outside his window at home, and this continues when they move into the dorms

Aizawa finds him one night talking to a cat in an alleyway, and he’s worried for his problem child being in an alleyway at night and why is he here???? And then, he sees the cat and understands.

Mic goes to check on the class a dorms the next day because his husband never came back last night and he might’ve run into trouble with his hell class, only to walk in on the green bean and his husband smuggling a cat on campus

Shota, you’re a teacher. What are you doing?

He had to. Don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine.

Anyway. Class a has a new dorm cat :)

I hope you like theseeee!!!! They were really fun to write and think about!!!! Izuku and koda being Disney princesses is now something that I hold very dear to my heart 😭😭

[hollowwrites]

Blindsided

Part 9

Ominis x MC

Summary - The gang prepare for the Tri Wizard Tournament. Starting from tomorrow Sebastian would officially be the Hogwarts Champion.

I know I’ve said this before but this is filler. I just need to get these things out of the way so I can hurry up and get to the good stuff!!! Hopefully from the next part onwards it’s just all aboard the Ominis train.

Sorry if this feels rushed I just want to get to the smooching! 👀

Again feel free to swap Evelyn for Y/N or MC

Warnings - Cussing from Poppy (our sweet girl) all characters aged up 18+

Word Count - 4329

~

Birds were, in Ominis’ opinion, exceedingly irritating creatures. No matter how many times people described the winged rodents to him they would always remain, in his head, twisted up monsters of flesh screaming constantly into the void.

So when he was stirred from his sleep by a particularly vocal bird outside Evelyns bedroom window, he groaned.

The suns orange beams burst through the window panes warming the skin it settled upon.

A rare occurrence.

Usually, the dark halls of Hogwarts and the cloudy Scottish weather blocked all possible natural light from leaving its warmth upon his skin.

As he stretched out his long limbs, squeezing out every drop of sleep from his bones, he became aware of Evelyn, still sound asleep, next to him, her legs tangled with his.

He imagined what she would look like with those same warm rays cascading across her features. How the sun would highlight her hair and rouse her from her slumber. The ambient glow of her eyes as the light caught them.

Without thought, he reached out to her.

Even with the blanket of sun engulfing her she still felt cool to the touch. He sighed contently. How is she always cold?

His fingers tangled with the stray hairs at her shoulder, disturbing them from where they had settled, their soft strands falling over her face. Delicately, he brushed away the fallen locks of hair, then swept down to gently feel for the side of her face and the crinkle of her eyes, indicting she was still asleep.

His eyes flickered down to her body, fingers twitching as he recalled the shape of her hips and soft curve of her waist. They were brief encounters last night when he felt her scar. His mind more preoccupied reliving past memories of the Scriptorium and the time she had apparated to him.

But he remembered some things.

Her form was silhouetted against his mind.

It took everything in Ominis’ power to not reach out and once more find the soft flesh of her waist. The subtle dip and hollow curve of her hip. He would commit the contours of her body to his memory.

“Its rude to stare” she murmured. Her voice so thick with sleep, hazy and enticing. The sort of voice you can imagine coercing you back to bed. Or anything. He would do anything to hear her like this again, and again…and again.

“Surely it doesn’t count if I’m not seeing anything”

“Fine” she huffed, limply taking his wrist and flopping his hand over her face. “Now you’re staring”

He laughed breathily, solidly cupping her cheek and jaw.

He blinked, and when his eyes opened again, his opal irises stared directly into her own. Her breath caught. The eye contact. She melted. A pool of warmth and giddy school girl hormones.

“I’ve changed my mind” she smiled against his hand “I don’t want you to see me in a morning. I look a mess.”

“I am certain you look beautiful, but…what is going on here?” he reached up to her and ruffled her shoulder lengths locks. “This is some wonderful bed head you’ve got going on here”

“Ah!…how dare you!” she shoved his shoulder rolling him onto his back, a throaty chuckle escaping from his chest “Come on you, let’s get some breakfast”

~

As Ominis and Evelyn made their way down the stairs, a sudden and rather loud clattering sounded from the Kitchen. They both gazed in the direction of the calamity, Ominis seeking it with his wand, before Eve skipped over. She found a rather disheveled Sebastian standing over a broken cup.

“Morning!” He beamed, casting a silent Repairo and watching the cup float delicately back onto the counter “Coffee?”

“Honestly, Sebastian, how you’ve made it to this age I will never know”

“I’d be perfectly nimble if you two hadn’t abandoned me on that piddly little sofa. I’m aching worse than after Quidditch practise…Look…” Sebastian turned his head to the right, a sharp hiss leaving him when a pain shot up his spine.

“I’ve got Wiggenweld. Don’t be such a cry baby” she absentmindedly made a coffee for herself and a tea for Ominis, who silently entered the living room and began tidying up after Sebastian, a blanket and cushion discarded haphazardly across the floor.

“Speaking of…how did you two sleep?” Sebastian leant against the counter next to her, nudging her with his elbow and wiggling his eyebrows.

“We slept fine thank you fo-“

“Woah what happened here?” Sebastian placed his cup down before taking her hands in his.

Shit

She was hoping no one would notice. Since she had woken up, she had a dull ache along her arms. When she looked down, she noticed her wrists had bruised a brilliant dark purple. As she descended the stairs of her home, she pulled the sleeves down around her hands, but had failed to notice her fingers were also bruised

“Don’t say anything” she whispered “Ominis will be devastated”

“This is from him?” His face was a contorted mess of confusion, concern and anger “What do you two get up to?”

“Don’t be disgusting, Sebastian” she slapped his arm before wincing “He had a nightmare and when I tried to wake him he…grabbed me. It’s fine, Wiggenweld should get rid if I rub it into my hands. Do not say anything” she hissed

“I won’t, I won’t” he held his hands up in surrender “It’s happened to me before. Wiggenweld will sort it out. Be thankful it’s just your hands. I can say from experience, he has a hell of a right hook” he rubbed his jaw dramatically and she laughed.

“Thank you for being there for him. When I’m not around”

“Hey I was here first remember” she rolled her eyes “You don’t get to come in, in our fifth year and take my boy from me”

~

The rest of the morning was spent getting ready to go back to Hogwarts. Sebastian insisted on testing the new Floo Flame first and when he came back through, ensuring the all clear, everyone else followed suite.

Ominis broke off from the rest of them when they arrived, making his way to the Great Hall to save them all a space for food…and to keep Garreth from eating everything.

Anne nervously picked at her nails walking down the halls of Hogwarts again.

It was like riding a broom.

She never forgot the corridors and the maze of stairs, easily navigating from Central Hall down to the Dungeons. But it somehow felt different.

When Anne got to the Slytherin Common Room, the Great Silver Snake recognised her immediately, and without her uttering the password, opened the large stone door for her to enter. Sebastian looked like he might cry when he watched her prance down the spiral staircase.

He waited patiently in the Slytherin foyer whilst Evelyn salvaged some uniform for her to wear whenever she decided to visit. Help her blend in so maybe a Professor wouldn’t spot her immediately.

Whilst no one else would be wearing uniform, it being a Sunday, she insisted upon wearing a Slytherin scarf to breakfast. She twirled for Sebastian on their way out, his eyes holding the smallest pang of regret.

The Sunday morning breakfast feast usually ran later than the rest of the week, encouraging many students to lie in and still join everyone for breakfast.

There was a distinct lack of food surrounding Garreth and as they filtered over to their usual spot, Eve caught Ominis batting his hand away from a neatly stacked pile of assorted pastries.

“Come on! She won’t miss one” She heard Garreth complain “She won’t even know if you don’t tell her” Ominis smirked

“Tell her what?” Eve whispered leaning directly into his ear, causing the Gryffindor to leap from his seat

“Merlin’s beard!! Did you know she was there?” Garreth shot a look to Ominis.

“I know everything” he said ominioisly

“Git…” Garreth mumbled “Where’s Sebastian? I have that case of Wiggenweld for him.”

“He’s just at the Ravenclaw Table saying Hi to Amit and Poppy” she took her seat between Garreth and Ominis, nudging Ominis with her elbow gently, in a silent Hello.

“Those two are disgusting. Far too sweet” Imelda acknowledged Eve finally, lifting her head from an obnoxiously large pile of toast

“You and Sebastian are worse” Garreth scoffed “Then you just have us three” he gestured uproariously to the side of the bench they all sat on “The Singletons”

“Oh yes, you three are all so available” Imelda said sarcastically prompting a swift kick from Eve under the table “What?” She continued innocently “Garreth has a thing for Anne. What did you think I meant?” She batted her eyelashes and smirked.

“Here before Garreth eats it all” Ominis slid the pile of pastries towards her. “I should be awarded an order of Merlin for safeguarding these”

Before Evelyn could say thank you a leaflet flopped delicately onto her waiting Croissant. And then another flitted down from the ceiling onto Imelda’s toast. And another and another until the room was a snowy cascade of brightly coloured paper.

“What’s going on?” Ominis asked, casting a quick umbrella charm from his wand, keeping the offending flurry of paper away from him. He pulled Evelyn under the cover with him, allowing his arm to drape around her waist. His fingers tracing along her hip bone aimlessly.

Garreth reached for the pamphlet, turning it over in his hands.

“Dearest Witches and Wizards spanning our Great Globe, you are all cordially invited to this Tri Wizards Tournaments, Champions ball” Garreth read aloud “Each Champion will be required to bring a partner of graceful disposition to partake in the opening dance. The ball will commence the evening of the Second trial permitting all champions survive.” Garreth gulped “How charming…”

“Oh no” Imelda looked pale. “Sebastian is our Champion, I’m going to have to dance” She slumped over the table banging her head lightly against the hard wood.

“It’ll be okay Imelda! Just lay low. My Aunt has certainly turned her eyes off me since I’ve been hanging around with you guys” Garreth boasted “She might forget that little detail and just host it like she did in second year. Remember that little Spring ball they made us do? No one danced then”

“Garreth Weasley, are you suggesting you’re using us as an invisibility cloak?” Eve tutted

“I dunno” he shrugged “Let’s find out” he stood and effortlessly lifted Eve out of her chair and over his shoulder. She squealed in delight as he ran laps of the tables.

Ominis could hear the rise and fall of her mirth as he serpentined around the tables.

If he thinks, even for a second, he’s going to that ball with her…

“What’s Weasley doing?” Sebastian asked as he approached the table, with Anne in tow.

“Demonstrating what laying low means apparently” Ominis said bitterly

“Oh don’t get like that. Garreth doesn’t mean anything by this, you know that.”

Ominis huffed crossing his arms across his chest and sulking. He could feel the collective eye roll of his peers, before Anne and Imelda exchanged hugs.

He heard Eves’ laughs grow louder as Garreth appeared again, flinging her off his shoulders. She landed less than daintily and stumbled onto the bench, again next to Ominis. She gave his arm a little squeeze before finally chowing down on the food he’d kept for her.

“Ah, there you are, Oh mighty Hogwarts Champion. You’re stash of Wiggenweld as you reques-“

As Anne pulled away from embracing Imelda, Garreth stopped functioning. She looked the same as he remembered, plump faced, rosey cheeked and full of joy. Not at all how Sebastian had described her. She really was better.

“-ted. Anne?” He finally managed to stumble out.

“Hello Weasley. It’s nice to -oh” in a second he’d climbed over the table, causing yelps and screams from the other students trying to eat. He jumped down directly in front of her, looking over every feature available to him, grasping at her elbows as though if he didn’t, she would fade to dust.

“You look amazing” he said bashfully “Can I- I mean you’re cursed but… can I hug you? Will it hurt you? Can you-“

Anne threw her arms around Garreths neck, pulling him down. The next few minutes consisted of them rocking slowly back and forth and talking into each others shoulders.

Sebastian looked like he wanted to die.

He muttered under his breath and Eve elbowed him.

“It’s so good to see you again, Annie” he kept a hold of her after they finally broke away “Although this-“ he pinched her Slytherin scarf between his fingers, as though it smelt putrid “…is disgusting. I’d have thought if you’re coming back they’d have to re-sort you”

“I’m not coming back, sadly. This is just so I blend in. I can visit whenever I like now! Oh, I have all this too” she patted her bag filled to the brim with spare robes, ties, jumpers…anything with a Slytherin crest embroidered on it.

“Er…forget that. I always thought you’d look good in red. Let’s prove that shall we.” He took her hand and marched off towards the exit of the Great Hall.

“Wait she’s still…” Sebastian called after them but they’d already left through the huge double doors. “…cursed” he muttered

“Don’t worry, I’ll go with them” Eve said swinging her legs out from the bench “Stop your worrying” She kissed Sebastian on the top of his head before turning to Ominis “Thank you for breakfast” and kissed him on the cheek. Ominis felt his cheek tingle as she flitted off after the couple.

“Told you not to worry about Garreth. He’s definitely got a thing for Anne. Which is great for you, less great for me” Sebastian said finally taking a seat next to Imelda. They nuzzled close to one another and Ominis could feel the waves of love emanating from them…it was unpleasant.

”Can you please stop inferring me and Eve are an item?” Ominis pouted “You three are the only people I have left. I don’t want to almost half the amount of people I care about if things end badly”

”Why are you worrying about things ending before they’ve even started?” Sebastian asked

“You know why” Ominis’ gripped his teacup tightly.

He had told Sebastian about his plan to separate from his family. From tomorrow night, he would no longer be a Gaunt. If all went well. He just needed to get through Sebastian’s first tournament trial and he would be on his way.

“Ah right…but that won’t be a problem for much longer right?”

“We shall see”

~

After breakfast, Imelda departed, claiming that she needed to get all the Quidditch practise in that she possibly could. Her eyes hadn’t stopped darting since they all found out about the ball. With regular lessons, the tournament, and quidditch she had gone into overload. Good job she thrives under pressure.

Sebastian and Ominis made their way to the library, deciding that if everyone was all of a sudden too busy for them, they’d have an old fashioned library study session. Like the good old days.

One thing you do not expect to walk in on, in a library, is a verbal slinging match. The raised voices from Scribners’ desk echoed around every alcove and corner. Even some of the paintings were shushing them.

“There is nothing I can do Miss Sweeting. Miss Moreau has made a valid complaint I cannot keep this book in circulation whilst the tournament is here. I am sorry” Scribner droned on.

“She wouldn’t even know I had the book if I wasn’t-“ Poppy started before being cut off

“Oh no! I don’t care that you’re the Hogwarts Champion, Sebastian. Do not get involved with this” she screeched upon seeing Ominis and Sebastian approach.

“What have I done? I just got here”

“ENOUGH!! All of you go get some studying done before I deduct hefty house points from all of you” She slammed her hands down onto the cover of Poppys book before hauling it off to the Restricted Section.

“You okay Poppy?” Ominis asked not enjoying the stale environment they were now stood in.

“Yes I’m fine. Wait till I get my hands on that…bloody Baeuxbaton Bimbo.”

“What book was it?” Sebastian ushered them over to a central table, knowing if he hid himself away Scribner would keep an eye on him anyway “You know I love some light restricted reading”

“It was nothing. Just ‘Tri Wizards: A History’. I was reading through on possible trials seeing if there’s any sort of pattern. I was hoping to give you some sort of warning or edge. But she caught me reading it and blabbed to Scribner that it’s ‘unsportsmanlike’. What a load of tosh” Poppy huffed reading over the small amount of notes she’d made before the book was confiscated.

“Thanks Poppy” Sebastian said unenthusiastically, his leg beginning to bounce.

“Had you forgotten the trial is tomorrow?” Ominis asked noticing his shift in behaviour

“Not forgotten. Just ignoring” Sebastian replied placing a hand over his knee to calm and monitor his anxiety.

“Oh I’m sorry, Seb. You’ll be fine. Damn it, if I could’ve kept that book I could have eased some of your worrying.”

“Well don’t look at me. Scribner is the only member of faculty who appears to be immune to my…threats” Ominis started when he heard the telltale skip of Evelyns feet, dancing down the stairs to the library “Although here comes someone who might be able to help”

Garreth came bursting into the library with Anne neatly tucked under his arm. And Eve following behind.

“Doesn’t she look stunning!” Garreth twirled Anne around showcasing her completely red attire. Red checked skirt, matching waistcoat, bright red tie and, to top it all off, Gryffindor robes.

“What have you done to my sister?” Sebastian chuckled

“Well there’s wasn’t much room for improvement, she is basically already perfect” Anne flushed crimson. Her cheeks matching her tie perfectly, as Garreth pulled out a chair for her, joining them all at the large table “…but I think i’ve made her better”

“It’s true, Seb” Anne said “I think I was made for Gryffindor”

“Our parents would be so disappointed” The Sallows laughed

~

Over the next hour, they came up with a cunning and devious plan to get that book back.

It boiled down to this:

- Break into the Restricted Section.

- Retrieve the book using Eves old field guide. The old book had an incredibly powerful charm placed in it, and no matter how oddly specific a request, it always knew exactly where she wanted to go. She just needed to think of it.

- Leave the Restricted Section.

Simple!

They all knew Sebastian couldn’t be involved. He said himself, he couldn’t risk a detention and get kicked from the tournament. And Scribner kept too close an eye on him for him to be a viable option.

And Eve had to go because of her field guide.

So Sebastian agreed to be a distraction knowing that so long as he kept within Scribners sights, she would let her guard down.

“I don’t think she should go alone though” Garreth whispered with concern “someone has to have her back, but I’ve never been down there. I’d be useless”

“Nor have I. And I think Scribner will be watching me as well, considering it’s my book” Poppy said bitterly

“And since I’ve been cursed I’m not the most delicate on my feet” Anne looked towards Ominis “You’ve been down there before right? With Sebastian?” All eyes shot towards him. He felt them burn into him as they stared.

“Yes” he sighed “I’ve been alone too. I know it quite well”

“That settles if. Eve and Ominis stealth mission to the Restricted Section…in broad daylight” Sebastian confidence waned as he continued “This is such a bad idea”

~

It was unfair how pretty the Restricted Section was. The books remained immaculately stacked and organised, and the many oddities that littered the area always caught Eves’ attention.

It felt as though a silencing charm was placed over the chain fence, because the moment you passed its threshold a peaceful quiet fell over you. Just the gently tinkle of chains from some of the more rowdy books.

Ominis strode confidently down the stairs to the second level, waiting patiently at the bottom for Eve. His hand extended out to her, guiding her down the last few steps.

“Do I want to know why you have a copy of the key for this place?” Eve said taking his hand and activating the charm on her Field Guide. The tiny glowing spark jumped from the pages and lead deeper into the Restricted Section, chirping lightly as it went.

“When I said Sebastian doesn’t need help getting himself into trouble, I didn’t mean that he should stop. Just that he should be more careful. I’ve had this key since second year. He just never asked.” Ominis smirked, allowing himself to be lead by her.

They continued on further, until they found the confiscated book. Scribner had already sorted it into its allocated section, so with any luck, she would never find out.

With the book tucked safely under Eves arm, they made their way back up to the surface.

“Wait…” Ominis whispered “Someone is coming” he turned to look up the steps before a look of dawning horror fell on his features.

Before she knew it, he’d grabbed her arm and pulled her under the stairs leading top side. Bundled up the corner, he pressed his arms either side of her to shield her.

“What’s happe-ooomh” she whispered before being silenced by Ominis.

His hand wrapped lightly around her mouth, pressing her into the wall behind. He brought his free hand up to point to the culprit.

Peeves.

The poltergeist was floating in and out of stacks of books, through the shelves and cabinets causing papers to fly everywhere. After the first bookcase toppled, Peeves became a whirlwind of parchment, wreaking havoc weaving through the corridors.

No doubt Scribner heard that.

Her stompy little feet rang through their ears in their cover under the stairs. Ominis pressed himself further into Eve, his hand still firmly around her mouth.

Her lips pressed against his palm was an extremely unwelcome distraction. Every little breath that escaped her caused a flare to shoot down his arm. It made it incredibly difficult to concentrate on the sounds of Peeves and the Librarian.

“Peeves!! Anywhere but here please. This will take so long to organise again” Scribners voice sounded distant.

“Papers papers everywhere;

Here in the Library, Peeves does not care;

Chaos and Clutter, ‘round every nook;

Good luck finding what I took”

“Nows our chance, they’re below us” Ominis whispered, hurling Evelyn by the shoulders out of their hiding spot. He ushered her forward first, racing up the stairs back to safety

They walked casually back to their table, placing the book triumphantly down, only slightly out of breathe

“Amazing! Well Done you two” Poppy beamed

“Excellent” Sebastian sighed as though he wasn’t holding out hope that they’d find it, but was grateful they had “Oh that reminds me, Garreth. I found something in the Restricted Section for you. It’s some Potions book.” he shoved a dusty tome towards the redhead.

”I thought you were trying to not get kicked out of the completion”

”Do you want me to completely change my personality overnight?”

~

After the excitement of the Library, everyone separated to dwell on more calming things.

Garreth sent Anne off, helping her with her bags of clothing. More than she would ever need.

Poppy went to find Amit for their weekly Sunday Astronomy Session. They lovingly referred to it as ‘SAS’ causing a disgusted groan from everyone present.

Sebastian had gone to bed early, Imelda too. They were both clearly worried for the trial tomorrow but putting on a brave face for the other.

Ominis was, as usual, reading in the window of the common room. The Tri wizard book floated delicately in front of him, as his wand silently dictated the words for him. An enchanted quill worked over time on the tiny table next to him, jotting down anything Ominis deemed valuable.

“No rest for the wicked” Evelyn said climbing onto the arm of his chair. She leaned forward, briefly reading some of the passages. The words ‘Fatally’, ‘Death’ and ‘Perish’ seemed to jump from the page.

“Seems that way” he said, rather chipper

“You’re not worried for tomorrow?” She asked continuing her own study of the pages

“Not at all. From what I’ve gathered the first trial is almost always a fight of some sort. A test of your combative skills. And as we know…”

“Sebastian never backs down from a fight…”

“Exactly” he smirked “I’m on to the second trial now but it seems to be heavily influenced by the first…so I guess well see”

Evelyn just hummed. She was busy reading a table of previous adversaries. Dragons, Graphorns, Werewolves and one rather lethal year, a basilisk. She leant further around to read the other side and Ominis began to stutter.

“Your hair is in my face” he chuckled

“Sorry” she mumbled, transfixed by the description of events gone by.

Rather unexpectedly, he snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap. She turned to him, his face just inches away.

“Just because I’m blind doesn’t mean you can stick your face in front of the book I’m reading” he smiled, wonkily.

“I-Sorry I’ll leave you to your research” she scrambled in his lap to get off, a vice like grip on her hip prevented her from doing so.

“Stay with me” he whispered “I…I would like the company”

“Of course” she smiled settling back into his chest and reading along with him

Masterlist

[backyard-homesteader]

Plum Harvest

I harvested the plums from the tree in the backyard this weekend. It wasn’t exactly the project I’d planned on spending my weekend on, but when the fruit is ripe, it’s ripe. So I armed myself with my homemade fruit picker, my eight-foot ladder, and bin for the plums. Then, with far too many animals underfoot, I got to work.

This must be a mast year for the tree, because I’ve never seen so many on there in the years I’ve been living in this place. For those who are new to the term, a mast year is when a tree produces a significantly larger than usual amount of fruits or nuts. They generally happen every five to ten years. Scientists still don’t know when exactly trees will decide on a mast year, but they suspect weather might play a role. Although producing such excessive amounts of seeds does stunt the trees growth that year, they produce far more than can be eaten by the local bird and rodent population, which increase the trees chances of creating new saplings! Some trees will even coordinate mast years for better chances of success. For anyone who wants a more detailed explanation, I’ll add some links at the bottom of the post. I hadn’t heard of mast years until this fall either, and it was a truly fascinating research hole to go down.

Even after weeks of carting away buckets of fruit that fell from the tree too small and unripe to eat, the branches were still sagging. Some of the lower ones were nearly bowed to the ground under the weight of all that fruit. Almost within reach of my younger puppy, and definitely within the means of the older one.

The ducks quacked at me in a somewhat annoyed fashion as I turned on an audiobook and set myself up to work. I find having something to listen to always makes the time go faster. After a few years of this, I’ve developed a bit of a method. I start low, working my way up the tree in stages, and moving the ladder as few times as I can safely get away with. I leave the top of the tree for very last, as it takes the longest to pick and generally has the least fruit.

My first bin was full within minutes. I could quite literally see the branches lifting as I worked. It’s honestly amazing none of them broke under the weight.

I ate a few off the tree as I worked, rinsing them off in the hose I’d left on to refill the duck pond. They were warm from the sun, sweet, and just on the right side of juicy. A few that had more direct sunlight were already too ripe, the skin splitting open under my fingers. Those ones I pulled the pits out and tossed to the dogs.

There was a brief sidetrack when I got caught on the blackberry vine that had climbed up through the branches. I dug out the shears and cut it down, Unfortunately, I didn’t manage to pull out the root, so I’m sure it will be back again next year. Then, while I had the shears out, I decided to do a bit of pruning and cut out some of the dead branches.

With that out of the way, I jumped back into picking. Fruit trees are deceptive creatures. You’ll think you’ve stripped a branch only to climb off the ladder, look up, and see twenty plums you missed hiding under the leaves.

There was another slowdown when I got to the top of the tree, the area that I need the fruit picker to reach. I made it a few years ago, from some old wire coat hangers, a straightish branch, and some duct tape. Despite its cobbled together look, it has served me well. Unfortunately, maybe due to previous use, or the tape getting old, several of the hooks decided to come out on me. I stuck them back in and wrapped some more tape on, but they didn’t want to stick back on quite they way they were. I might just take the whole thing apart and start from scratch later, when I have more time.

Despite the setbacks, I managed to get the tree stripped over the course of the day. Taking all the extra fruit into account, I managed to pick twice as quickly as I did last year. I’m getting better, and I’m pretty proud of myself for that.

The dogs were a lot less underfoot this year as well. I remember last year, when I’d just gotten my first puppy. She’d been constantly getting tangled around the tree and stealing my fruit picker. I probably spent as much time playing with her as I did picking. This year, with two, they mostly kept each other entertained and out of the way. There was only one time I had to wrangle them, when they kept digging holes under the deck. After telling them to knock it off a few times, I went over to fill in the holes, only to find out they’d been digging up potatoes. I have no idea how so many potatoes ended up buried under the deck. The dogs stashing them away for later maybe?

I’m really excited about my plum harvest this year though. By the time I was done picking, I had six full bins of fruit. Between my snacking and a couple of friends coming by to pick some up, three of them never even made it into the house. But that still leaves three bins with me, even more than I had last year.

I tend to go a little over the top eating fresh plums this time of year. And when I get sick of that, there’s plum pinwheels and plum compote. Most of them will end up getting canned, as fresh plums don’t keep for very long.

I have a lot of canning in my immediate future.

https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/blog/2020/10/what-is-a-mast-year/

https://www.bbg.org/article/the_mysteries_of_masting_in_trees

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/this-fall-is-full-of-acorns-thanks-to-a-mast-year/

[sirsen]

I had an idea for the mouse AU and how Cross befriends Horror.

The three little mice have to wait until Horror is sleeping somewhere before they can go out and look for food. They have some dried berries, nuts, and insects stored in Killer’s burrow, but with three mice to feed, it wont be enough. They need to go out and scavenge for anything edible.

One day while they’re out looking for food, Reaper (a raven) finds them. They try to get away by going through a brier patch, but Cross’s hood gets caught in the thorns. Reaper manages to catch up to them. He can’t go into the brier patch, but with him so close, he’ll catch them as soon as they try to leave. Since he can’t get them right away, he starts taunting them, “ah, little morsels gathering together to form a meal for me. How nice of you to save me the trouble of catching you one at a time.”

During the commotion, Horror wakes up from his nap and finds the tracks the little mouse group left and follows them. When he finds the group cornered in a brier patch and a raven waiting to snatch them up, he becomes angry. He’s waited for several days to catch this group, and at this point, he’s too hungry to give them up to some bird. Too hungry and angry to think of the consequences, Horror attacks Reaper. He manages to get a few bites and scratches in, since he attacked him from behind while he was distracted with the mice. While the two predators are fighting, the mice manage to get out of the thorns.

Unfortunately for Horror, Reaper is much stronger and manages to overpower him. He has the rat pinned to the ground, his talons sinking into his flesh, “well now since you’ve made me loose my lunch, you’ll make a fine replacement. A rat the size of 3 mice is a good trade.” Hearing the rat’s pained squeaks, Cross is reluctant to leave. He wants to go back and help, but Dust and Killer hold him back. Luring a badger away is one thing, but Reaper has flight on his side, so he’ll be much harder to get away from if they manage to get him to let the rat go.

Before Cross can do anything rash, a loud bang sounds in the forest – even Reaper startles at the sound. A hunter is near by. While Reaper is distracted, Horror bites his foot, making the bird release him. The rat lets out a growl, showing that he still has some fight left in him, but Reaper isn’t willing to stick around any longer with a hunter in the area. As the raven flies away, he calls to the rodents, “you were lucky this time, but one day that luck will run out. Death calls to everyone eventually.”

With the raven gone, Horror’s adrenaline fades, and he collapses in the snow. Everything is quiet now, so Cross cautiously approaches, much to Dust and Killer’s irritation. Killer hold onto Cross’s tail to prevent him from getting any closer to the rat. Now that he can see the state that Horror is in, bloody and trembling, Cross knows that even if Reaper doesn’t come back to finish him off, he won’t survive the winter with wounds that deep.

Cross gives a pleading look to Dust and Killer, wanting to help the poor rat, but they aren’t going to let the mouse get himself killed. Dust tells him coldly, “just leave him. Even if you did help him, he would just eat us anyway. Besides, it’s better this way. Now we don’t have to worry about him hunting us anymore.” With two against one, Cross has no choice but to leave Horror and follow the others back to the burrow. However, once Dust and Killer are asleep, Cross takes a few nuts and berries back to the rat. He knows the rat might be hostile towards him, so best to bring a peace offering.

Horror is still in the same spot where he left him, luckily Reaper didn’t come back for him. The rat growls when he hears the mouse approaching him, but when he puts a nut in front of his nose, he quickly quiets, snatching it up and eating it vigorously. Seeing this, Cross realizes that the rat hasn’t eaten in days. He wants to bring him back to the burrow where he’ll be safe and warm, but he’s too small to carry him, so Horror will have to move on his own. Using a dried berry, Cross beacons to the rat, asking him to follow and promising that there will be more food and a warm place to sleep as long as he doesn’t hurt him or the others. Horror doesn’t respond, but with the promise of food, he follows.

Once in the burrow, Horror immediately sniffs out their food stores and starts munching away all their food. Cross worries that he will eat it all, but how can he tell him to stop? Would he even listen if he tried? At least with the food distracting the rat, he’s able to get close enough to clean his wounds. Horror is hesitant to trust the mouse, but he gave him food and a safe and warm place to sleep…

“Horror…” Cross’s ears perk up when the rat spoke for the first time. He tilts his head in confusion, so the rat spoke again to clarify, “my name….is Horror.” Deciding that this would be enough to satisfy the mouse for now, Horror curled up in the nest to sleep.

Dust is furious with Cross when he wakes up to find a giant rat in their nest. How will they survive now that the rat has eaten their food and the nest is no longer safe? While Cross and Dust argue, Killer notices that the rat hasn’t woken up despite how noisy the two mice are being. He cautiously boops his nose. When Horror doesn’t even twitch, Killer concludes that he must’ve gone into hibernation. He tells Dust that he won’t be waking up until the snow melts, so the nest will still be safe.

Even if the nest is safe, they still need to worry about food. Killer decides to go into hibernation as well, this way only Dust and Cross will need to eat, so they won’t have to find as much food. Dust still doesn’t like this, he wants to kick the rat out of the nest, but he isn’t strong enough to do it himself, and Cross certainly isn’t going to help him. He has no choice but to accept the rat into their nest.

[chrystalwynd]

Everybody Comes to the Black Hole

I don’t write a lot of sci-fi (or any, really. This is my first), but I like this setting and may use it again in the future. Sci-fi readers’ opinions appreciated here.

Everybody Comes to the Black Hole

words: 2700

mc mf ff md fd sci-fi

                “Mmmmmm, look at you. Why don’t you come inside for a drink?”

                She was a six-and-a-half-foot blue-haired beauty, with fingernails and toenails to match. Her breasts made all kinds of threats about bursting out of the leather corset that was straining to contain them, while the rounded cheeks of her ass moved like two bubble hovers trying to pass each other in a tight race. Her lips made promises her eyes had no intention of keeping, but her hips made promises that made the risk worth it. She was a three-dimensional wet dream.

                “Don’t go away,” pouted the blue hair bird. “I’ll miss you.”

                “I’m sure you’ll find a way to work through the pain,” I said, pulling out a vita-cig and lighting it. I blew a stream of smoke through the hologram.

                A figure moved next to me, setting off Blue Hair’s automated offer of a drink. A skinny berk stood there, looking like a rodent on the back nine of a bender. I’d known he was there even before Blue Hair told me, but he didn’t need to know that. Being a mindwire was my own business and none of his.

                “Waller,” I said. “What’s the chant?”

                “’Ello, Gar,” said the rodent, without moving his lips. A neat trick. “Tonight at the Black Hole. 2200 digital. Bring cash.”

                “Bring what?”

                “Cash, guv. Old Earth slang for money.”

                “I see. You’re a man of the stars, Waller.”

                “Shite, cutter. Just a berk trying to make enough shiny to get off this hunk of metal, savvy? Now how ‘bout providin’ some bounty, yeah?”

                “Don’t be a tentacle’s ass, Waller. Half now, half if the meetin’ goes well.”

                “I can’t be held vertical for a meeting that goes horizontal, Gar.”

                “Relax, Waller. Just blowing your airlock. Mostly, anyway. Half now, half after they show.”

                “It’s a fair pop.”

                I worked my wrist tech-band for a few seconds. Waller’s band beeped in reply.

                “There you go, Waller. Stay off the meteor dust and you’ll be off Port Kepler in no time.”

                “Shite, cutter. Dust the only t’ing makes this rig bearable.”

                I had nothing to say to that, so I nodded and Waller went on his way.

                I started up the strip of shops and services that made up Port Kepler. The creaky space port had been circling Kepler B for so long, few people even knew it’s launch year. Everybody could, however, tell you to the day how long they’d been stuck here. There were far more berks than jobs and saving money to get that off-port ticket was every port resident’s dream.

                But that was irrelevant at this moment. Tonight I was going to get something that would make my stay a little more tolerable as well.

*****

                At 2100 digital I walked into the Black Hole.

                The décor wasn’t, strictly speaking, a reflection of its name. While some sections were certainly darker than others- intentionally so- a colorfully bland motif was vaguely evident. But the effect was pale and the effort fell flat, and everybody knew the decorations were secondary to function.

                Drinks and business. Anything else was comet-tail. A wretched hive of scum and villainy, to be sure, but whatever you needed could be found here. For a price.

                I glanced around, doing a whom’s-who, then moved toward a table of figures donning brown hooded robes. The typical cutter couldn’t tell which was who, but I wasn’t a conventional.

                A hood turned in my direction. “Bright night to you, neighbor. Do you seek a higher plane?”

                “Bright night to you, brother abbot,” I said politely. The sensate monks were no one to screw with. “I seek a verbal with Brother Ivan about a previously placed order.”

                The monk stared for a moment as I waited. Sensate monks were the source of the best narcotic chems on the station, but they were so formal and conservative that they barely believed in starlight. Getting saucy with ‘em didn’t score credits, either.

                One of the monks stood, ending the suspense. I’d already known Ivan was there, but the abbot at the table didn’t need to know that.

                Ivan and I wandered away from the table, moving into one of the darker corners of the bar.

                “Bright night to you, Gar,” said Ivan. “Did my last delivery meet expectations?”

                “As advertised, my friend,” I said. “It kept me awake for 2 cycles, as you promised. I needed every minute.”

                “Marwake is a potent stimulant, neighbor, and it does so with few side effects.”

                “What side effects? I didn’t notice any.”

                “That’s because you used it as instructed,” said Ivan. “There are those who use it to stay away a week or longer. That never goes well.”

                “Oh?”

                “Hallucinations are the typical result,” he said, “typically followed by a further breakdown of faculties. For the first week, anyway. After that-“

                I held up my hand. “Apologies, brother, but I have no digital for this. My clock is short tonight.”

                “As you will, neighbor. How may I serve?”

                “Street chant suggests you have a new product I might be interested in.”

                Since he was wearing a hood, I couldn’t see his expression, but he somehow managed to convey surprise.

*****

                That business concluded, I moved further inside the Black Hole. I soon came to a table with an attractive redhead. She wore loose-fitting leather pants and a sleeveless top that showed off her muscular shoulders and arms. Attractive women sitting by themselves in the Black Hole were usually automatic targets, but not this one. Everybody knew better than to test their luck with Vette. She was a merc and believed it was better to be good than lucky. The ones trying to get lucky with Vette usually found themselves at the med-unit.

                I gave her a nod. “Evenin’, Vette. What’s the chant?”

                She lifted a glass at me. “Hey, Gar. Just walkin’ and talkin’.”

                She hadn’t thrown anything at me or suggested I self-procreate. Professional courtesy.

                Vette used her glass to indicate the empty chair at her table. I sat down.

                “I think,” she said, “that I’m going to get me some of Catamon’s thrall tonight.”

                “The new one?” I said, suddenly interested but speaking casual.

                Vette took a swallow of her drink. “Yep. No one’s tapped that yet. She’s good and Catamon’s getting cocky. Think I’m gonna get a piece of that and a stack of credits as well.”

                “Be careful,” I said. “Street chant says this one likes to leave her mark on conquests. She doesn’t just win, she embarrasses her conquests.”

                “Aww, your concern is touching. You jealous?”

                “Sure,” I said. “I’ve been there.”

                “Watch it, gonk,” she said, though without real heat. “You just got lucky with that royal flush. I’ll admit you weren’t bad, though. For a man.”

                I felt like I was tiptoeing through a minefield. “Props to you for honoring the marker. Figured you to tell me to self-procreate.”

                She took a swallow, then grinned. “Thought crossed my mind. But I ain’t javascripted that way. Word’s gotta count for something. Don’t get over yourself, though. You were good, but nothin’ to drop the ladies for.”

                Vette finished her drink, then slammed both hands on the table and stood. “All right, time to delta. Gonna bang me some thrall.”

*****

                Catamon smiled as Vette approached his table.

                He was a large man, well over six feet, with green skin so dark it was bordered on emerald. Dressed in gold and silver robes, his presence radiated beyond the table. He was covered in gold and jewels. That wasn’t what made his wealth obvious, however. The true sign of his position was the woman sitting next to him.

                Catamon was a Taur from Tau Ceti-D. An ability specific to Taurs was being able to claim and bond with Taurettes. This bond turned the Taurette into a thrall completely under the control of the Taur. By all accounts it was a very intimate, powerful, erotic state. The Taur could claim only one thrall and it wasn’t always voluntary. The Taur controlled all aspects of the thrall at that point. But the bond between them was powerful and they could amplify each other in ways that were still unknown to non-Taurs.

                Catamon looked up as Vette approached. A large bowl sat in front of him, with piles of credits stacked within. When he spoke, his voice was a deep baritone.

                “You bring honor to my table, Vette,” said Catamon, “and a certain level of erotic ability. Your last visit left my poor Wenni exhausted. She was days recovering from servicing you.”

                Vette smiled. “What can I say? I work hard, I play hard. Now how ‘bout you screamsheet the stats on your new joytoy?”

                Catamon smiled. “Were we on my world, Vette, referencing my vassal in such a matter would result in a challenge that would leave you with a collar on your neck, a true joytoy on my chain, servicing me as I wish.”

                Vette shrugged. “You mean you’d try to put a collar on me. But that’s no bones here, ‘cuz we’re not on your world. Just give me the figure so I can get busy putting your girl to work.”

                Catamon nodded. “Very well. Xarissa, stand.”

                At his words, the woman next to him stood. Thralls from Tau Ceti were typically blue or green skinned. On rare occasions, red or orange skinned vassals might be seen. On extremely rare occasions, a white albino skinned thrall might be seen, although it had been years since one was seen here on Port Kepler. In this case, however, Xarissa was a black skinned thrall.

Not just black-skinned, actually. Her skin was so black that it verged on ebony. Her stark white hair was long and hung down to her exotically rounded ebony bottom. Her impossible curves were so erotically charged that her sensuality radiated beyond the table to the surrounding patrons.

Vette took out a number of credits and dropped them in the bowl. Catamon nodded and then spoke again in that deep baritone.

“For the benefit of all observers,” he said, “what is happening is that this young lady Vette has just made a wager on her ability to overwhelm my thrall Xarissa. What will happen is this. I will open a psionic connection between them. They will then psionically battle each other. Whichever one is victorious will then have control of the loser for approximately three hours. And should Vette win, she will also receive back her bet and an equal amount from me. Meaning that if Vette is victor, she will win both money and have the use of my thrall for the next three hours. Should she lose, however, Xarissa will have control of her for the next three hours.”

Catamon turned to Vette then. “I wish you no ill, of course, but that will prove most interesting. Most recently my Xarissa has taken to piercing the nipples of her female conquests with Taurian steel.”

Ouch. Taurian steel was the diamond of metals. There was no known way of cutting through it without travelling to Tau Ceti. It was essentially a permanent piercing.

Vette nodded her understanding. Her confidence was impressive.

They faced each other across the table. Catamon said, “I’m opening the connection…

…now.”

A small crowd had gathered now. That happened often here at the Black Hole and it was usually due to games of chance. This was no different.

For long seconds, nothing seemed to happen. Vette and Xarissa stared at each other, neither blinking. Vette right eyelid flickered and there was a murmur amongst the crowd. One of Xarissa’s bare shoulders moved then, jerking up.

Sweat was breaking out on Vette’s forehead now, but she showed almost no other sign of difficulty. Xarissa appeared to be almost relaxed.

I pulled my glance away from the tension of the table and took a viddy at Catamon. Suddenly I knew what he was doing.

Vette’s face still remained calm. Too calm. And then I knew why. She had lost.

Xarissa smiled and crooked her finger at Vette. Vette walked around the table and stood in front of the collared Xarissa.

“Be a good girl,” said Xarissa in a throaty voice, “and take off your top.”

And just like that, Vette was topless at the Black Hole.

Xarissa began kissing Vette then, running her hands over Vette’s body as if she owned it. And she did. And when she pushed Vette to her knees and told the redhead to lick her pussy, the crowd cheered.

I could have intervened sooner, most like, but I opted not to. I wanted Xarissa hot for the next act, so I chose to let the scene play out. Besides, while Vette may have preferred the top position, being the down for an exotic beauty like Xarissa wasn’t the worst thing.

The crowd had cheered itself hoarse by the time Xarissa lifted the enthralled Vette to her feet, using only her finger under the redhead’s chin. Vette’s nipples were rigid at this point and I suddenly intuited what was about to happen. The thrall was about to pierce Vette’s nipples.

“Before you go that route,” I said, “perhaps we could have a bit of verbal?”

Catamon rumbled. “You’ll verbal with me, Gar, and none other.”

“Fair enough,” I said. “This is such a fine digital that I’m inspired to throw my helmet in the quad. Before you let your joytoy javascript Vette’s nipples for perm, perhaps we could match first? I’ll put up double the funds with the conditional that if I win, Vette will be spliced to me as well for the remainder of her clock. Savvy?”

Catamon bristled at my use of ‘joytoy’, as I’d hoped. He should have known better.

“So if you’re victorious over Xarissa, you will have both she and Vette?”

“Affirmative,” I nodded.

“And if Xarissa wins, she will have both you and Vette simultaneously?”

“Also affirmative.”

“Very well,” said Catamon. “I agree to your wager. Place the credits in the bowl.”

I did so, then turned around to face Xarissa. To my surprise, her eyes were already locked on mine.

“When I defeat you, Gar, I want you to know one thing,” she said. “I will continue to use Vette’s body for my pleasure. You, on the other hand, will be pleasing Catamon. You will be pleasing him in every way you can. And after marking Vette as my conquest, you too will be marked.”

I smiled. “I guess that gives me something to look forward to, doesn’t it? Shall we begin?”

Catamon didn’t even give me a chance to get ready. He immediately opened the psi-link between us.

I nearly blinked. The sudden intensity of Xarissa’s psionic pressure against my mind caught me by surprise. Had this been a typical match, I might have lost it right then.

The problem for Catamon and Xarissa, however, was that this wasn’t a typical match and I wasn’t strictly playing by the rules. But I was fine with that, because neither were they.

I had realized that Catamon was using his psychic connection with Xarissa to boost his thrall whenever she got in trouble. So Vette hadn’t been just battling Xarissa. She’d been battling Catamon as well. And it’d worked for them, which was why Vette was standing there, her eyes glazed, Xarissa’s juices on her cheeks and chin.

Vette wasn’t javascripted to cheat. I, on the other hand, had no such reservations, as the willpower chem in my system- the one I’d acquired from Brother Ivan earlier- attested. And with my psionic willpower boosted, not only was I able to circumvent Xarissa’s defenses instantly, I was able to follow the psionic link from Xarissa’s brainpan to Catamon’s, catching them both almost simultaneously.

Catamon and Xarissa were finding out what happens when one attempts to take on a jacked-up mindwire in a psionic knife fight.

So was Vette, but I was pretty sure she wouldn’t mind.

The crowd around Catamon’s table was murmuring now, beginning to realize what had just happened. My street cred had amplified without losing clock. A profitable night. And looking at Xarissa and Vette, a fun night. At least for the next three hours.

A fun night for me. A typical night for the Black Hole.

END

[shotgunshellsau]

Break The Chain

Chapter 2: Tension

  The sun bubbled at the horizon and blue light began to flow and pool on the uneven floor of the valley like an unwatched pot on a great stove. Birds shook the sleep from their feathers and turned their beaks to the sun. Small rodents skittered over the ground sniffing and surveying; the fluffy ends of their tails kicked up trails of the fresh purple dyed sand. The light continued along its path until it reached the baseboards of the ranch house.

The four of them sat shoulder to shoulder in the mouth of the porch, covered in the dust of the desert clay that lay just beneath the shifting sands. The tools they held were siminilary arenose. Donatello sat to the left, his chin resting on the tarnished handle of a shovel; Raphael sat next to him with their thighs touching. To the right Mike sat slumped against the column that marked the start of the railing; his eyes were affixed to the horizon. In the center sat the eldest, with his knuckles pressed to his mouth; he stared ad the space between his boots. The pickaxe he was studying was unordinary; a brown wood handle, tarnished silver point, and a blunt hammer on the back. With the unassuming instrument now seared into his mind he rose and hiked up his pants. 

“I’m going back .” He gestured to Rapheal with his naked shoulder. “ You coming?”

“No.” Raph stood up and looked at him with wide eyes.” No. Im not going anywhere; Im staying here, where I’m needed Leo.” 

“Okay.”

In last nights commotion they hadn’t tied the horses but they were gathered about the barn anyway, perhaps out of habit. He found his and rode off , dust trailing in his wake.

The day was still young when he reached the courthouse; the one window barely let in enough light to see. He opened the door loudly ans strode in. A callous voice had emerged from the dark corner where the desk sat. “ No good morning?”

“Buenos días.” He started up the stairs.

“Aren’t you a ray of sunshine today”. He awaited Leo’s response but there was none.You can’t just leave your post, you better spin me quite the yarn kiddo.” 

“Our Pa died.” 

There was a long pause.“Natural causes?”

“No.”

“ You boys gonna do something about that?” 

“ I don’t know.”

“ You better figure it out .” Leo stood motionless in the stairwell. “ When you put on that badge you signed up for making big choices. You’re lucky you get to think on this one.” 

He continued up the stairs, pulled on his shirt at sat on his cot in the loft. He stared at the wall  in front of him till the sun from the window crept far enough to reach his toes. His eyes shifted to the peg on the wall where his gun belt lay. He grabbed it. 

…

Leo burst through the door. His brothers and April sat at the table with coffee, except for Raph who stood at the wash basin. 

“Don!” He looked up at Leo, “ Saddle one up for Raph, we’re leaving.” 

Don stood and left without speaking. Leo moved forward and placed two small objects on the table. 

“ I look the liberty of grabbing us some provisions some the cantina.” He looked at Raph from the corner of his eye, “ And your Derringers.” 

Raphael, still drying his hands, turned a walked toward the table; he dropped the towel and picked up the guns. He faced Leo as he gently placed them in the pockets of his vest,“ Longer coming?” 

“No.” 

Mike stood up quickly; despite their differences in age him and Leo ‌were practically the same height. 

“ Leo thats crazy! You’re not a real sheriff! You don’t have the authority to just up and..”

Leo pointed his chin upwards, taking advantage of what little extra height he had,“ Sheriff Longer gave his blessing. Even if he didn’t , legally there isn’t anything to stop us.” 

Michelangelo sat down slowly, and looked down at his coffee. April leaned forward and spoke, "Where would you go? There’s no point in riding out if you don’t know who you’re looking for.”

 She was interrupted as Don sped into the room; ‌his stride didn’t break, even as he spoke, 

“ Pa goes to San Antonio on his gambling trips,” he continued, now yelling, from the room adjacent to the kitchen, “ We can ask all the way over, and if we haven’t found any leads..” He re-entered and began to rifle through the drawers, “ We can ask at the card houses. They probably keep a pretty good eye out for anything unusual. Ack… anybody got a pencil?” 

Raph handed him a short pencil from his shirt garter; went across the room and looked out the window. “ Anybody know the way? What about the cows?” 

Mike looked up from his cup with crossed arms,” I know the way.” 

Don pressed a brown ledger book onto the wall and scribbled on its pages, “ The next drive isn’t for months, Tia can handle things till I-  hey where’d she go?” 

While they were talking April had snuck away unnoticed. They found her in the living room; she removed an old tarnished rifle from the wall and stood, feeling its weight in her hands. She turned to face them. Donatello stepped forward and swapped the pencil and ledger for the gun. She looked down into his eyes, "Be safe.” 

He dropped the butt of the rifle, reached up, pulled her face close and gently kissed her cheek, "We'll come back to you.” 

The rest of them lined up, single file, and followed suit.  

Outside the sun balanced at its highest point in the sky; the desert grew silent in the afternoons, nothing but the jumping of grasshoppers and the drone of the heat upon the playa. The brothers mounted and turned to face the horizon. Leo turned to Michelangelo, “All right little brother. Lead the way.” 

Mike spurred his horse, and they were off. 

…

They rode for several days without speaking, rested the horses a few times but never broke camp. They came across a shallow well; a mere depression in the sand where ‌water gathered underneath. Donatello dug at it a while before there was enough water for the horses. Mike stood beside his horse as it drank; he spat grit from his mouth, and finally broke the silence,“ You name him yet?” 

Leo straighted his posture once he realized he was being addressed; he walked over to the horse and patted its flank with a proud smile,“ Im thinking, Ol’ Faithful.”

Don, who was sat on a rock rolling a cigarette, scoffed, "You can't name him that.”

“Why not?” said Leo. 

“ First of all, hes a young horse. Second, you haven’t had him long enough to know if he’s faithful or not.” 

“Oh.” Leo put his hand to his chin in thought  and then put a finger in the air, “ Hey, what about Stud?” 

Mike grimaced, “ You cant name a geilding Stud, its cruel. The other ponies will tease him”

“What about Bobo?”, said Raph as he turned to Don,” I caught him trying to eat a fence post the other day.” 

Don leaned in, “No. Then we’d get the two confused.” 

He grinned with the cigarette in his teeth; Raph gave him a soft slap on his back. Mike stiffled a laugh and Leo chewed his lip at the embarrassment. He pointed at them,” You two better knock it off or I’ll leave you here! Let the bobcats eat you. Now come on, we’ve got places to be!” 

They saddled up and rode off; they went for about an hour, then the sun began to set. 

“Well,” said Mikey with a sigh, "This is the farthest I’ve ever been from home. In this direction at least. How about you guys?” 

They all looked about; the answer seemed to be unanimous. Leo leaned back in his saddle to look at Donatello, “ Speaking of the ol’ place… what are you and Mike gonna do now?” 

Don raised his brow, “What do you mean?” 

“You know, now that you’re not tied to it anymore.” 

“Tied?” Don’s voice soured. “What are you talking about?” 

“Oh come on Donno.” Leo looked forward with his face to the sun,” Now that… I mean, considering the circumstances, we can finally move on.” 

Don cut his horse forward to be next to Leo’s, “ We? Move on? Move on from what? Our home?”

“Yes.” 

Don looked flabbergasted, if he was standing he might have lost his balance. The other two shared a knowing glance and pulled their horses back a ways. 

“You’re going to sell Pa’s ranch? You can’t do that!”

Leo didn't answer. Don lunged his mount forward and turned her perpendicular to Leo’s. The buckskin that Leo rode was frightened by the advance and reared violently; he yanked the reins to the side and turned the horse in the opposite direction, so the riders were face to face. 

“You cannot sell Pa’s ranch Leo!” Don’s horse stepped nervously. Despite the excitement, Leo’s face was relaxed; he looked down at his younger brother with lidded eyes and spoke calmly,“ Pa is dead. It’s my ranch now; I’m selling it.” 

“What are we supposed to do? Prance around the town and  play lawman like you? Is that what you want? You want to screw us over just so you can feel in charge?”

"I'm selling. Thats final.”  

Don didn’t speak any further, but he didn’t need to. He looked up at Leo with a rage neither of them expected. His eyes were wild and glazed over; his flared nostrils sucked air so hard the cherry of his cigarette flickered. He leaned in as close as possible; inches away from Leo’s chin, huffing like a bull. Leo sat high upon his saddle; only a small furrow in his brow. Michelangelo galloped forward and pulled in beside them; he put his hand on Don’s saddlehorn,

“Don. There was some brush awhile back; let's go take the ponies to graze.”

“That’s a good idea Mikey,” said Raph, as he dismounted clumsily,” Leo and I will set up camp for the night.” 

Their gaze didn't break. 

“C’mon Donnie… lets go.” 

Donatello snorted at Leo  and yanked his on his pony; he rode over to Raph’s horse and threw a rope about her neck. He waited silently. Leo hopped down and took his things from his saddle, Mikey gently tied the horse to his, then joined Donatello. 

…

They set up camp quickly; Leo gathered some brush for a fire and Rpah set to work on a meal. When the fire was healthy and the pot was boiling they sat back and stretched their legs on the ground. 

“You know,” Raph stretched his arms,” If he were me, he would have punched you.” 

Leo prodded the fire with a wispy sage branch,” Oh great. You’re on his side, lovely!” 

“Leo, you can’t sell his ranch.” 

“Its not his ranch!” He pointed to himself, as if Rapheal was somehow confused, "It's my ranch. Mine. Its my birthright; my name is on the deed! Im selling it and thats final!”

“Leo. You gave up your right to that ranch when you left; I did to.” He looked Leo dead in the face, “ He’s put more work into keeping that place running that we’ve put into anything.”

“Yeah; cause he dosent do anything else! Maybe if we get him out of there he’ll find somthing to do with himself!” Leo swung his arms like he was conducting an angry symphony.

Raph scowled, “ We left him that place when he was what? Fourteen- fifthteen? When we were that age we were still arguing over who could piss farther.” He jumped onto his knees and leaned in toward Leo,” He has nothing else because we never gave him the chance! We left and he had to pick up the slack! You can’t sell his ranch; it isn’t right.”

“And letting him work himself into an early grave is? Is that what you want me to do? Let him kill himself out there?Thats way too much work for one guy alone; we can’t help and we all now Mike won’t stay around long enough.” 

The sun had almost fallen and the fire cast an orange light over them. Raph settled back into a seated position and sighed, "I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.” He looked over at Leo,” I don’t want him there either, but you can’t just sell his life out from under him.” 

They were quiet for a long while; the only sound was the crackle of the fire and the whooping of owls. Leo stoked the fire, “ We’ve got time to think on it.” 

 …

The horses grazed without issue; sand gently fell from their mouths as they pulled up clumps of grass. Little lizards skittered about the rocks looking for a place to bed down for the night. Don sat squatting in the sand; his arms were straight forward on his knees. He puffed at his cigarette mindlessly. Mike walked up slowly and sat cross legged in the sand at his side. 

“ Be paitent with him Donnie.”Don didn’t react,” He didn’t mean it; he's upset right now. He needs time.” 

Don’s eyes moved as fast as bullets; his stare was so icy the devil would have shivered. “You’re upset too; I know that. We’re all upset,but you gotta remeber, we’ve lost one Pa. Leo’s lost two now.”

Don took a long drag, be blew it from his nose as fast as a steam engine.

“ I’m sorry I don’t help you enough. Its not right, but maybe this could be a good thing.” Don’s eyes landed on him again, then rolled back to the horses. 

“We’d figure something out!” He gestured toward his horse,” Me and Bullet will run off somewhere, maybe we’ll go south with Tia! You could move to a big city. You’re a smart guy, you could probably get a job at a bank or something! Wear a fancy shirt and flirt with all the rich big city girls!” 

Mike smiled but Don didn't break, “Or not. I dont know.” His eyes lowered and his face fell, “ To be honest with you… I’m not sure if I want to go back to that place.” 

They sat there for a long while and watched the sun fall. The horses slowed their grazing and wandered about. As it got dark the tiny flicker of firelight in the distance split the horizon. Don stood and put his hand out toward his brother, “Come on. If the food burns before we get there Raph will get all huffy.” 

Mike took his hand and got up; they gathered the horses and went back to camp.

…

Leonardo sat in the sand; he scraped at the bottom of his clay plate with an old spoon, “A little undercooked tonight.” 

Raphel scoffed and threw up his hands,” See! This is why I don’t cook for you; you’re so critical!” 

“ Ah you see, that’s why you need me. I’m you’re most loyal costomer and your biggest critic.” He gestured to himself, “ I’m you’re most valuble asset.” 

“Asset is not the word I would use.” 

Leo got up and walked toward the pot on the fire; he took the bandana from around his neck and opened the lid with it. The other two brothers rode in and tied the horses. Donatello looked for a place to sit. Leo thrust a plate of beans toward him and sat down, “ Chew carefully; every fifth bean puts up a good fight.” 

Don took the plate and sat down next to him; he took a bite, crunching loudly on the elusive fifth bean.“ He did a pretty good job considering.“  He gestured to Raph with his spoon and kept eating, "Usually he soaks them all day.” 

“Thank you! Finally some recegnision!” Raph threw up his hands in exasperation. 

Mike giggled with a full mouth. 

[shippingfangirl013]

You know… even when you’re at your lowest, your dog is still going to be there to love you. (And so will your cat, or your horse… or your bird/reptile/rodent, whatever companion animal you may have)

They just know how to be there when you’re falling apart.

I’ve been having a really hard time lately, because this time of year is kind of consumed by grief for me. I’ve lost more people and animals between the months of January-April than I think should be possible, and Gavin, my best friend of 15 years, will have been gone for a year this month. It’s honestly at a point where I’ve been borderline suicidal, (to be clear I do not plan to leave this world nor have I attempted it in or plan to attempt it) but the thoughts just refuse to go away, and it’s been this way since I was 14… and I just get so tired of my own head making so much trouble, when it seems like other people don’t have this as a problem. . .

I ended up sobbing on the couch in my living room earlier today, because everything in my life feels like it’s falling apart. I graduated college and learned that I don’t even know myself, I’m 8 hours away from one of my best friends after 4 years of living together and 4 hours away from my other best friend that I lived with for 2 years…

I’m 22 and I feel like I have no time to get my shit together. It feels like I have a ticking timer for a bomb just rapidly tapping out the time I have left, as if once it goes off I’ll end up dead from the gallows.

I didn’t get into vet school and it’s been my dream since I was six years old, and to be honest, some days (okay; most days ) as of lately, I’ve just felt like giving up on that dream. It feels like nothing will ever get better and the ‘end goal’ for staying alive just always seems to merely get bumped up another few years. First it was 17, then it was 22, and now it’s 26.

It’s like walking around with this soul sucking pit right behind you, day after day, even though you do your best to ignore it.

(And god, I know that there are people far worse off than me, and I know that if I were in a position to, I would try and do my damndest to help them out. Because I’ve been there too… but I suppose this is my way of helping, just writing down what I’m dealing with because it might help someone else that needs to hear this.)

But I just wanted you all to know that in the middle of sobbing for thirty minutes, my dogs climbed up on the couch and started licking me, trying to get me to play with them. And when Bandit realized that I didn’t want to move, he shoved my phone out of my hand with his nose, and he laid down on my lap and chest to get me to try and ground myself… and he took a nap while I cried petting him.

And I just thought to myself, you know, I would really miss this… and I started bawling again, because that might have been one of the first genuinely positive thoughts I’ve had in over six months.

I really don’t know what humans did to deserve dogs and cats, but I’m really glad that companion animals exist because things may not be perfect, but at least my dogs and cats and horses (and chickens) still love me enough to have me around.

Honestly, I seriously, normally will not post this sort of thing, but just in case anyone else is struggling, you’re not alone 💛 (and I know if you’re struggling and reading this, you might be sick of hearing that… but coming from someone else who is absolutely going through it… We’re gonna be okay. Even if it sucks right now, even if you don’t want to be here, eventually we’ll be better… baby steps 💕)

And sometimes one positive thing can make it suck less… it won’t fix it, and everything may still be shitty, but it might suck less and your pet still loves you no matter what.

[thomaslaurencetempleton]

Fine, have a comic script. I can't find an artist anyway.

The Weird Go Pro: A Neo American Pulp Story

Character Summaries:

Professor Laban Shrewsbury

- Hunter S. Thompson style; brown khaki shorts, black socks, Chuck Taylors, printed button-up shirt covered by a khaki fishing vest with multiple pockets. His face is often mostly covered up by Aviator sunglasses, except for in one shot when he is festering, horrible, eyeless sockets, which are uncovered. 

Beccah Meinard 

- Similar to Bella Swan from Twilight Sagas, except she is chubby and poorly dressed. She wears jeans, a bad cardigan sweater over a t-shirt and sneakers. 

Edmund

- A hulky monstrous brute with a face like a rat or a vampire bat. Instead of having the classic incisors, he has pointed buck teeth similar to some sort of strange rodent, in addition to having pointy ears. In one of the shots he looks like Edward from Twilight, except with comically large vampire fangs. His wardrobe is a simple v-neck t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. 

Page 1: 2 panels. Panel 1: full page. Panel 2: small corner inset in lower right side of Panel 1. 

Panel 1: High angle birds eye view of a school hallway. Nighttime, the walls are lined with lockers. Beccah is lying against a locker in the lower left corner of the shot. Laban is kneeling behind her, to her side, and over her. 

Laban: Here, take this

Beccah: Uhmm....what is it?

Laban: It’ll help

Beccah: What is wrong?

Laban: Yer head is confused, this'll confuse it more, but it’ll help.

Beccah: It’s dark, I can’t see.

Laban: Here, I have a torch in my bag.

Panel 2: A comic “CLICK” runs along the left border of the panel. A close-up shot of Beccah’s face, twisted in discomfort from a flashlight beam being pointed at her. 

Beccah: Who are you?

Page 2: 3 panels. Panel 1: 1/2 page. Panels 2 & 3: 1/4 page.

Panel 1: Close up of an illuminated shot of Laban’s face. He is not wearing his sunglasses, his dark, gaping eye sockets are visible and he’s grinning in a crazed heroic smile. A dramatic comic scream creeps up along the right side of the panel. 

Laban: I’m Professor Laban Shrewsbury, Doctorate of Anthropology of the Weird. 

Panel 2: A mid level pulled back shot of the hallway. Laban is on the left side, Beccah is on the right. A lantern is between the two of them. Laban is looking in a bag and grabbing his sunglasses out with one hand, his other is over a surprised Beccah’s mouth, and a comic “Gulp” is over her head as he is forcing something into her mouth. 

Laban: Just shut up and take these, we don’t have time for you to start tweaking out this early. 

Panel 3: Same shot as 2, Laban is putting on his sunglasses and Beccah has both hands over her mouth, looking shocked in the eyes. 

Beccah: Just, what the frig! is going on here?

Laban: Your boyfriend, the Vampire, was about to drink your sweet, virginal blood, and I scared the rat faced bastard off. I’ve gotta get you clear-headed, and the fuck outta here. 

Diary Page 3

I’ve been thinking a lot about death a lot lately. I mean I am only sixteen, but it’s beginning to fee all so real to me in all this shit called my youth.

So much Hank P and me got into a huge fight at lunch about it and broke up. He seemed to think we shouldn’t even be worried about it at our age, and I think that the more we keep it close the more we will enjoy the short span of time we have.

He may look cute with his glasses and shaggy brown hair, but who wants to hang out with some guy who’s daily highlights are playing some magic card game with his friends at lunch break is so LAME!

GODDAMN HE IS SUCH A WEINER!!!!

In other news, my Potter drought is BROKEN! Cheri on Facebook told me about this new book with Vampires. It’s gonna be a MOVIE! SQUEEE!

Page 4: 3 panels. Panel 1: 1/4 page. Panel 2: 1/2 page. Panel 3: 1/4 page.

Panel 1: Same shot as Panel 3 on Page 2. Laban is looking at Beccah, who is looking petulant. 

Beccah: I don’t know what you are talking about...

Laban: Are you sure? Think of the boy that gives you that gushy feeling. 

Panel 2: A bright, glittery face shot of a sparkling Edward Cullen, looking gay with fangs and a starry-eyed shot of Beccah’s fact in the lower right corner of the panel. It has a dream-like feel to it all. 

Edmund: Beccah, let me bite you, and we’ll be together forever.

Beccah: Oh Edmund, you’re so beautiful!

Panel 3: Almost the same shot as Panel 1. Laban is walking away with his bag and lantern in hand. Beccah is still leaning against the lockers as she watches him go.

Laban: Yeah, thats what I thought. C’mon those drugs need to kick in soon and I need to rearm in case bat boy comes back. Let’s find the cafeteria. 

Beccah: What were those pills anyways? 

Laban: Adderall or Meth, same difference. 

Diary Page 5

I spent Lunch with Cheri today. We hung out behind the field house with her “Crew” . Most of them smoked and were very “artsy” which felt so refreshing to me. I talked with a few of them but me and Cheri mostly talked about the third Vampire book which we both started together.

OH MY GOD ITS SO GOOD!

I envy her and her friends. They all seem to understand each other. They read such good books that reflect how dark life really is. Cheri shared her frappicino with me while we talked and I am totally addicted to coffee now, Yum!

Cheri was really popular with all the boys hanging out. I totally think she may have even had sex with a couple of them. I kinda jealous because they were all kinda cute and dark. I kinda wish I could be like her a little

Page 6: 6 panels. Page is divided into thirds. Top third is divided into 3 equal panels. Panel 4 is next 1/3. Panel 5 is 1/3. Panel 6 is last 1/3. Comic “Five Minutes Later” across top border.

Panels 1,2,3: All panels are tied together by one large word bubble coming from Panel 3. Panel 1: a close up of a Microwave timer counting down. Panel 2: Laban looking perturbed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Panel 3: Close of Beccah’s face, vertical, and open-mouthed, talking. 

Beccah: OMG! I can’t believe you think that Edmund was gonna kill me! It’s totally not what you think! He’s beautiful and he never attacks humans. Just like that book, but only better, because it’s real!

Panel 4: A mid level drawn back shot of a school kitchen. A microwave is in the far left side of the shot. Laban is screaming petulantly, frustratingly. 1/3 of the way into the frame, at an incline, is Beccah, who is babbling, laying on top of a prep table in the right side of the shot. Beccah’s word bubble continues across the panel but half way through it is interrupted by a large comic “SHUT UP!!”

Beccah: I mean how surprised did you think I was.

SHUT UP!!!

Laban: Is everyone these days educated by pop culture, or are you an especially retarded example? Let me teach you something. 

Panel 5: A close-up of Laban’s face looking quite serious. A word bubble goes into Panel 6. 

Laban: Vampire is pronounced “Vam-pi-er”. They are not pretty. They are not sexy. They eat people and rape humanity. THEY. ARE. MONSTERS! 

Panel 6: Same shot as the right side of Panel 4. Beccah is sitting up on her elbows (explain this visual better?), looking surprised in the direction of where Laban was in Panel 4. 

Beccah: But Edmund twinkles in the light?! 

Page 7: 5 Panels. Panel 1: 1/2 page. Panels 2 & 3 are 1/4 of page. Panel 2: 1/4 of width. Panel 3: 3/4 of width. Panels 4 & 5: last 1/4 of Page. Panel 4: 3/4 of width. Panel 5: 1/4 of width. 

Panel 1: A waist up full shot of Laban yelled, frustrated with clenched fists, outlined dramatically. 

Laban: REAL VAMPIRES DON’T SPARKLE UNTIL THE THIRD TAB OF MESCALINE!!! NOW, TAKE ANOTHER PILL!!!

Panel 2: A close up of microwave timer again, all zeros, with a comic “Beep, Beep”

Panel 3: A smaller version of Page 4. 

Panel 4: Laban is slumping, looking defeated. Beccah is still looking at him, from her position, reclined on her elbows. A comic “Huff, Huff” is in front of Laban. In “telepathy” word bubbles, in the lower right corner is “Beccah, I’m here.”

Beccah: Why are you making microwave popcorn anyways?

Panel 4: A close up shot of an over-joyed Beccah’s face, with dramatic highlights. 

Beccah: Edmund! He’s calling to me!

Panel 5: A larger shot of Panel 3. Laban is in the far left side of the panel, reaching out, and moving towards the right side of the panel. Beccah is hurdling off of the prep table, rushing towards the right side of the panel. A comic “Squeel” is coming from her. 

Laban: Get back here you dizzey cunt!

Diary Page 8

I went down to the “Skid Hole” today to talk with Cheri about our book today, but she totally blew me off to make out with Phillip Hannigan. I don’t know why she likes him. He’s high all the time and smells like a skunk. 

I ended up sitting against the field house wall, drinking my cold coffee, and talking with Chester Bennigan. At least I was trying to, while he sketched dirty pictures in his notebook. At least he was willing to say “huh” and “oh yeah” as I talked. I coulda been choking and Cheri wouldn’t have noticed. Chester heard about our book and thought it was “gay”, so I don’t know who to talk to about it. 

There was a new guy at the Skid Hole too. He just kinda sat by himself over by the drainage hole. But, he kept staring at me all lunch. It kinda weirded me out. Chester said his name was Edmund and no one really knew him because he was new. I don’t know about the staring, but I can’t stop thinking about him. 

Page 9: 3 panels. Panel 1: 1/4 of page. Panel 2: 1/4 of page. Panel 3: 1/2 of page. 

Panel 1: Same shot as Panel 5, Page 5. An almost “time lapse” type shot of Laban grabbing a bag of popcorn from the microwave and then running out of the shot, to the right. He is bouncing the hot bag of popcorn in his hands. A word bubble is emanating from the last version of him, running off shot. 

Laban: Get yer chubby ass back here. He’s not the fucking hero here!!!

Panel 2: Completely black, except for the word bubbles. Laban is on the left side of the Panel. Beccah and Edmund are on the right side of the panel. 

Laban: Beccah, yer not chubby. I’m sorry. Get to college. I’m sure things will change. But for right now, at least get by me, if the drugs have taken hold. 

Beccah: Oh Edmund, I’m sorry. I don’t think this weirdo understands. Just turn on a light and he’ll see you aren’t a monster. 

Edmund: It’s okay Beccah, I’ll show him, he has no idea what’s going on. 

Panel 3: Dark, no backgroud. All the light is emanating from lantern that Laban is holding out. Laban is hunched over, looking solemn, holding out the lantern on the left side of the shot. Beccah is holding herself against Edmund’s chest. Edmund is only visible from the chest down. 

Laban: Beccah, you really need to get over here now before you see exactly what you are holding. 

Beccah: No! You don’t understand. All you’ve done is confuse me with words, and weird pills. 

Diary Page 10

Cheri totally called me up today to hang out at the mall. I borrowed my dad’s pick-up and we met in the food court and iced mochas, which is totally our new drink.

She told me her and Phillip are totally over. They were fun together, but all he wanted was one thing, and she didn’t want to be known for being some kind of whore. Even if she is, I am still kind of jealous. Most of my ex-boyfriends would have cared less about me. All the guys seem to just really want to be with her. 

We went to Walden Books and I caught her up on our vampire book. The movie versions of the first book were on the shelves and the actors they chose were so PERFECT!!

The quiet guy from the Skid Hole, Edmund, was there. He kept starting at us (ME) and Cheri called him a creep. She says he has “rape eyes”. I think he’s just intense, and kinda cute. 

Page 11: 3 panels. Panel 1: 1/2 page. Panel 2: 1/4 page. Panel 3: 1/4 page.

Panel 1: A dramatic action pose of Beccah and Edmund. Beccah is holding onto Edmund and screaming. Edmund is maliciously clutching her and looking like a fearsome monster. A comic “Ahhh” coming from Beccah.

Laban (the word bubble is coming in from off the shot): That’s why I’ve been giving you those pills, to break whatever kind of mind control he has on you.

Panel 2: Same style shot as Panel 3 on Page 6. Laban is still holding up the lantern. Beccah is in mid-frame, cowering in fear. Edmund is still in the same position as before, on the right side of the panel, except he is leaning over, looking menacing. 

Laban: High doses of stimulants break the vampire mind control. You’re now seeing him as he really is. 

Edmund: Hurrr?!

Panel 3. Same shot as Panel 2, except Beccah is contemplatively reaching forward towards Edmund. Laban is face palming himself. 

Laban: You fat, dizzy, cunt!

Beccah: Oh my god Edmund! What did he do to you to turn you into this monster?

Edmund: Yes! Beccah!

Diary Page 12,13

OH MY GOD! I HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE!!

I almost can’t believe what happened if I hadn’t seen it myself. It was totally poopie Sunday, raining and what not, so I decided to walk down to Wendy’s and get some nugs to eat and feel better on such a lame day. 

I was walking across Wilmington Boulevard, when some dumb cunt in a mini-van hydroplaned coming up to the intersection. She was going to slide right into me at the crosswalk when I suddenly felt like I was flying. I was totally seeing my life flash before the backs of my eyelids when I felt myself land. 

I opened my eyes and I was standing in the woods alongside Wilmington with Edmund. He was holding me, and looked so concerned! I was so surprised that I couldn’t talk! He said he saw me and grabbed me out of the way. I was so confused as to how quickly we got into the woods. I felt his hands on my arms. He was ice cold. I looked at his lips and saw fangs hiding behind them. Suddenly, the sky parted and the light hit his face. 

HE SPARKLED!

I looked dumbfounded at him and could say only one thing, “You’re a vampire!”

He let go and walked away like I hit him. Then, he looked at me, and said, “Say Nothing.” Then he disappeared. 

I can’t believe it! Edmund Is A Vampire!!

SQUEEEE!!!!!!!

Page 14: 5 panels. Page is divided into 3 panels on the top 1/4 of the page. Panel 4: middle 1/2 of page. Panel 5: takes up last 1/4 of page. 

Panel 1: A shot of just Laban’s face, twisted in sick humor and anger.

Laban: Well, I guess I am not really the hero of this story now?

Panel 2: A close up of Beccah’s face. She is starry-eyed and full of adoration for Edmund.

Beccah: Take me Edmunch, and let’s show this creep how powerful our love is!

Panel 3: A close up of Edmund’s face. He’s excited, looking intense and tense with anger. Word bubbles are converging between Panels 2 & 3. 

Edmund: Give me your virgin blood and I’ll be more powerful than you will ever imagine. 

Panel 4: A dramatic mid level shot of Edmund biting Beccah’s neck, which is at a sick angle, her body is crumpled awkwardly in his arms. His eyes are locked intently, at the reader. A large come “BITE” is behind him. 

Panel 5: Same type of shot as Panel 3, Page 7. Laban is hunched angrily looking at Edmund, who has Beccah hanging like a dead rabbit from his jaws. 

Laban: I deserve better monsters than this... This has got to be the most sad-sacked pile of shit the agents of weirdness have thrown at me. 

Diary Page 15

Edmund wasn’t at school today. It musta been too sunny for him, lol. I got home and did some vampire research. Not all of it jives with the books but I know not all of it is true. Like, Wikipedia says vampires are made by “errant spirits who enter bodies of the dead”, whatever. They also like the blood of virgins and sleep in graves. Edmund totally doesn’t do these things! I know it!

Oh my god, Edmund was just at my window. I guess you have to invited them in? But, my Dad only can do it, so Edmund says its best not to let him know. I told him about what I read on the net, and he totally says its all wrong! We’ve been talking all night, and he says that I am special. That’s why he was watching me all those times. We wants to be with me, but only if I am willing to give myself completely. I told him I need time to think. lol. 

Page 16: Page is separated into 4 parts. Panel 1: 3/8 of page. Panel 2: 3/8 of 1/2 page. Panel 3: 3/8 of 1/2 page. Panel 4: 1/4 page. (did you do the math right on this, its fairly confusing?)

Panel 1: Same shote as Panel 5, Page 8. Laban is still hunched, and looking angrily at Edmund. Edmund is dramatically throwing Beccah’s crumpled up corpse from his jaws into the middle ground. 

Edmund: Human! You have no idea the power of a Vampyre who has fed upon the blood of a willing virgin!

Panel 2: A close up of a very angry Laban Shrewsbury

Laban: Vampyre! I have fought gods and destroyed creatures fouler than some old world blood creature like you!

Panel 3: A close up of a very scary looking Edmund.

Edmund: What are you going to do? You’re an old man with no weapons, in the dark with a lantern, and not even the common sense to remove your sunglasses.

Panel 4: An over the shoulder shot of Edmund, looking at and even angrier Laban. 

Laban: I am going to embarrass both you and me by throwing at you the dumbest thing I’ve ever used to defeat a monster, because humanity has yet again moved forward father than worthless monsters, such as yourself. 

Diary Page 17, 18 

I am totally done with Cheri! Remember how I wrote the other day, despite what Edmund said, I told her about what was going on between me and him? Well I thought she was gonna make fun of me and eventually once I gave myself to him, she would understand. 

Well, being the bitch she is, she musta send an email about me to some “internet monster hunter.” She just wants to make fun of me and is just rubbing it in. This guy is the kinda weirdo they jokingly put on TV Shows to show how crazy some people can be. I mean his website must be from 1998 or something, on top of all the crazy shit he talks about. I mean, who believes in Bigfoot anymore?

He is supposedly a doctor or something and sent me a weird e-mail, warning me about how stupid I was being. Then, he went on about a whole bunch of mythical bullshit about how dangerous Edmund was. Cheri must be pissing herself with laughter right now. 

I am gonna do it. I am giving myself to Edmund. Maybe after he makes me a vampire, I’ll got find Cheri and scare the crap out of her. I’ll find her in a dark alley and jump out of the shadows, be all pointy-teethed and screaming. I wouldn’t hurt her, naturally, because me and Edmund won’t be like that. We will go to Washington and live in the forest, and go to Seattle, hang out in the coffee shops and write real, but fictional stories about ourselves. I’m gonna call him and go to the school tonight. 

Page 19: 4 panels. Page is separated into 1/3’s. Panels 1 & 2 are top 1/3, equal halves. Panel 3: 1/3 of page. Panel 4: 1/3 of page. 

Panel 1: A close up of a bag of microwave popcorn dangling from Laban’s fingers. Bag is labeled “Movie Theatre Butter Blast.”

Panel 2: Another close up of Edmund’s fact, looking confused. 

Edmund: Is that what you’re talking about?

Panel 3: Same type shot as Panel 1, Page 9. Laban is tossing the bag of popcorn, nonchalantly through the air. Edmund is still looking confused on the right side of the shot. 

Laban: Here, catch.

Panel 4: Same shot as Panel 3. Laban is reaching into his front pocket grabbing something, on the left side of panel. Edmund is on the right side of the panel, juggling the bag of popcorn, which is spilling its contents all over him. “Ah” “Ah” “Ah” in comic style surrounds him. 

Page 20: 3 panels. Panel 1: 1/3 of page. Panels 2 & 3: 2/3 of page, bisected angularly from the top right to the lower left. 

Panel 1: A waist up shot of Edmund, shoulders slumped, looking defeated, and covered in popcorn.

Edmund: If this works, I am gonna fuck your corpse in hell...nightly.

Panel 2: A close up of Laban, shoulders up, smiling, lighting a 100’s cigarette, talking out of the side of his mouth. 

Laban: Evidently, artificial butter flavoring is like holy water, garlic, crucifixes, and sunlight to you undead bastards! 

Panel 3: Edmund is withering in pan, screaming at the heavens, bursting into flames, whilst covered in popcorn.

Edmund: THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!

Page 21: one panel, full page.

Panel 1: Laban is hunched angrily, taking a drag off of his cigarette. Walking towards the viewer. In the background, Edmund is burning horribly, turning disfigured and screaming. A comic “Scream” emanating from behind him. 

Laban: If it wasn’t for naïve, insecure, school girls and fat, lonely, middle-aged secretaries, you fuckers would have died out by now.

[bbangsoonie]

backdoor

member: jaehyun (hyunjae) genre: fluff (requested) word count: 3,120 synopsis: jaehyun has always been your rival. so when he bets that he could make you fall for him, you can’t back down and say no. but when you’re too confident, you let your guard done.

backdoor: a term used in league of legends; when you secretly attack the enemy’s nexus while they’re focused elsewhere. this is done by sneaking into the enemy base and taking them by surprise

Lee Jaehyun was the cockiest and most annoying person you had ever met. You would think that growing up as childhood “friends” would make you two close. After all, your parents were best friends with his parents.

But no, you and Jaehyun had been rivals ever since you were both enrolled into a tennis club as young children. You always had the upper hand until he suddenly hit puberty and became a lot more physically fit than you. Once he started beating you in nearly every match, he became your #1 enemy.

He had always been super competitive and made everything into a contest. Who could run to the car faster? Who could receive a higher score on the exam? Who could make the other lose their temper first?

With high school came his sudden increase in popularity. It inflamed his ego to the max, which irked you to no end.

Every Valentine’s Day, he would brag about all the gifts and confessions he received. And every White Day, he would compare the numbers to yours.

He was loved by the girls for being a casanova and admired by the guys for his athleticism and gaming skills.

You, on the other hand, could not comprehend why the entire school was infatuated with him. You had your eyes on someone else. Kim Sunwoo. He had caught your attention since the first day of freshman year. Now, as a senior, you were about to graduate without ever making a move.

You were too shy to approach him. You couldn’t even find a common interest to naturally bring up and talk about. All he ever did was make music and play League of Legends.

So you found Jacob during lunch and practically begged him to teach you how to play the game.

“Please please please?” you whined.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that I can’t,” Jacob said apologetically. “I have basketball practice every day. Besides, I haven’t played in almost half a year. I’m rusty.”

“I just need you to teach me the basics!”

“I’m sorry, Y/n.”

Sighing, you gave up and slumped in your seat. You poked at the food in front of you with a pout.

“Did I just hear the Y/n ask Jacob to teach her how to play League?” Jaehyun suddenly popped out of nowhere.

“Fuck off,” you rolled your eyes at him as you set your chopsticks down.

“You know, I’m the highest ranked player in our school,” he said smugly. You wanted nothing but to wipe that look off his face.

You ignored him and took a sip of your water. Jacob awkwardly glanced between you and Jaehyun as he tightly held onto his spoon. He could sense another argument coming.

“I can teach you if you want,” Jaehyun offered.

“I don’t want,” you coldly rejected.

“Of course you don’t,” he scoffed. “You’re too afraid to spend time with me because you might realize that you actually like me.”

“Oh please. There are a few things in this world that will never change. The sun rising from the east, the sun setting in the west, and my hatred for you,” you said.

“Well if you hate me that much, then let’s make a bet out of it. The first one to fall for the other’s seducing loses,” he smirked.

Still stuck in the middle, Jacob shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“You don’t have to accept the challenge if you’re not confident,” Jaehyun shrugged, making you narrow your eyes at him.

A list of pros and cons was being made in your head as you contemplated the crazy suggestion. The logical part of your mind wanted nothing to do with him. You knew that stooping down to his level was childish. You had much better things to do than go along with his bet.

The competitive part of you, however, couldn’t bear to back down. You would have to deal with him flaunting over you and calling you a coward if you didn’t agree to this.

So you disregarded all rationale and crossed your arms with a curt “deal”.

The walk to school the next day was full of complaints as you whined about falling for Jaehyun’s trick and Kevin chided you for it.

“I don’t know why you thought it would be a good idea,” Kevin tsk-ed. “He makes your blood boil within seconds. How are you going to hold back from tearing him apart? Never mind flirt with him.”

“I’m already regretting it,” you groaned.

“Speaking of the devil,” Jacob coughed, nudging you.

You looked up to see Jaehyun waiting by the school gates. He was holding a bouquet of flowers and every girl who passed by whispered to their friend about it. To everyone’s shock, he walked up to you and handed you the flowers.

“So it starts now?” you stared at the roses. “You call this seducing?”

“I call this romantic,” he grinned.

Rolling your eyes, you handed Kevin the bouquet and walked away. He awkwardly chased after you as Jacob offered Jaehyun a pat on the shoulder.

“She doesn’t like roses. She thinks they’re cliché,” he said before leaving.

When the dismissal bell rang, Jaehyun was waiting for you outside of your classroom. Hushed whispers erupted again as your classmates tried to figure out why he was being so affectionate to you. It was no secret that you two never got along.

After gathering your belongings, you grabbed your backpack and left without sparing him another glance. Unfazed, he easily caught up to you and slung his arm around your shoulder.

“What? Are you wavering already?” he teased.

“Not a chance,” you scoffed.

“As a part of the bet, I can teach you how to play League. That’s what you wanted anyway. Think of it as killing two birds with one stone.”

You ignored all the incredulous looks you received with Jaehyun by your side as you left the school grounds. You didn’t realize that you weren’t headed home until you stopped in front of a PC Room. Puzzled, you stared at the building in front of you.

“I promised that I’d teach you. Our first lesson starts today,” he said as he dragged you inside.

Your brain was bombarded with a whole new world. You struggled to keep up as he rambled on about bots and gold. He was showing you a demonstration by playing a round but your inability to multitask made it difficult to understand what was going on on the screen.

“My main is Jace and I usually go jungle,” he explained and you pretended to understand by nodding. At your silence, he eyed your expression and chuckled.

“So is Sunwoo the reason why you’re suddenly interested in League?” he asked, catching you off guard.

“How did you know?” you gaped.

“You thought I wouldn’t notice your little crush on him?” he raised a brow.

You were taken aback to say the least. You didn’t think he paid much attention to you other than when he was bored and wanted to mess around.

“Anyway, he usually goes mid as Zed,” he shrugged. “To be honest, the best way for you to bond with him through the game is for him to play ADC and for you to be support.”

“As if I know what all that means,” you frowned.

At that moment, his character died and the screen went gray. You snickered, earning a light flick on your forehead.

“ADC stands for attack damage carry. It’s the champion who usually does the most attacking. They go in the bottom lane with whoever’s playing support. Supports are supposed to aid and heal the ADC. So you would follow and communicate with them.”

“Sounds complicated,” your nose wrinkled in distaste.

“Sounds fun,” he corrected before turning back to the computer.

The next day, Jaehyun surprised you with a small potted plant in front of the gates.

“Since you don’t like roses, I got you a succulent instead,” he said proudly.

Next to you, Kevin giggled and Jacob let out a soft “aww”. Slightly touched yet also slightly embarrassed, you took it from him in a hurry and stormed off.

“You’re slowly getting there,” Jacob laughed as Kevin shot him a thumbs up.

Smiling, Jaehyun watched as they ran to catch up with you. He heard you yell at them after what was probably a teasing remark. You then began to chase Kevin, who ran away shrieking.

After two weeks of spending hours at the PC Room after school, you were starting to get a hang of the game. You found Teemo, who you insisted was a dog (he’s actually a rodent), and gushed over how cute he is.

Jaehyun made fun of your champion choice and shook his head as he explained that Teemo was the most hated character.

“Why? He’s adorable!” you defended. “And I love the little eggs he plants.”

“For the nth time, those are mushrooms! Not eggs,” he exclaimed. “And that’s exactly why everyone hates him. He’s so annoying.”

“You’re annoying,” you shot back.

“Well, Teemo’s not an option right now,” he pointed out.

He was teaching you how to play Howling Abyss that day. And playing ARAM meant your champion would be randomly given.

“Oh! The cute cat is available,” you excitedly clicked.

“That’s Yuumi and that’s actually not a bad choice,” he nodded in approval. “You just have to attach onto me and heal me.”

You hated to admit that you had grown closer with Jaehyun. Only a couple of weeks had passed by since the bet and you didn’t completely despise him anymore.

He gifted you something small each morning, whether it was a plant or piece of bread. He was always waiting for you at the gates. Dating rumors were already circulating the school but you hadn’t forgotten about the bet. You were determined to win it.

Which was why you began to wake up earlier to put on makeup and even complimented him during games. It was easy to make him smile. All you needed to do was throw a lame joke in here and there and he would burst out in laughter.

It was almost suspiciously easy. He was too willing to respond to your advances and never put up a wall.

But that didn’t mean he didn’t get on your nerves. His antics still bothered you to no end.

On the way home, he insisted on feeding you ice cream instead of having you hold it yourself. Except he kept pulling the spoon back when you opened your mouth to eat it.

The first time, you gave him a dirty look. The second time, you punched his arm. The third time, you gave him the finger and walked off after a “fuck you”.

“Is that a threat or a promise?” he laughed.

Once again, you were reminded of how immature he was.

“So has there been any progress?” Kevin asked.

It was gym period and all the students were running around in the field. Jacob was playing volleyball with Jaehyun while you and Kevin were sitting on the sidelines.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged.

“It would be the best enemies-to-lovers trope if you two actually end up dating like this,” he commented.

“Never,” you snorted in disbelief.

You had seen Jaehyun ever since he was a snotty little kid. Even back then, he was a mischievous brat. There was no way you could ever see him as anything but that.

The teacher blew his whistle, signaling the end of gym class. You got up, dusted your pants, and skipped down the steps. Unfortunately, you landed wrong and felt a sharp pain in your ankle as you fell down.

After Kevin shouted your name, Jaehyun turned his head to see you on the ground. Without thinking twice, he ran towards you and asked if you were okay. When you couldn’t reply, he put you on his back with Kevin’s help and sprinted to the nurse’s office.

Your heart was beating fast but you couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why. Was it because of the pain? Or all the attention you were receiving from your classmates?

By the time you reached the office, your ankle was throbbing and swelling up. The nurse was nowhere to be seen so Jaehyun retrieved an ice pack himself and wrapped a towel around it before applying it.

You were sitting on a cot while he was bent down to tend to your wound. His forehead was wrinkled with worry and you stared at him. This was the first time he had ever treated you with such gentleness.

“I don’t think you broke anything but it’s definitely gonna hurt for at least a week,” he winced in vicarious pain.

You suddenly didn’t know how to act around him. You weren’t used to receiving sympathy from him.

“Uh that’s okay,” you coughed to cover up the awkwardness. You’d rather have him make fun of you for being clumsy. But instead, he seemed genuinely concerned for you.

“You should’ve been more careful,” he scolded.

There was something about the way he looked at you. His eyes were no longer playful but you couldn’t figure out what emotions hid behind those eyes.

Those eyes. His eyes clouded your mind. For some reason, you couldn’t get it out of your head.

You found yourself avoiding him as you struggled to organize your thoughts. Or rather, your feelings.

Wanting to distract yourself, you decided to finally talk to Sunwoo. Surely, spending time with him would help you forget about Jaehyun.

So you mustered up the courage to ask him out on a date. To your surprise, he happily agreed and suggested that you watch a movie together. There was a new romcom film that came out and that he had been wanting to watch.

The date wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be. Sunwoo’s goofiness offset any nervousness and it was fun to be around him. But yet, it also wasn’t as heart fluttering as you thought it would be.

Perhaps you had idealized him too much in your imagination. Your romantic feelings for him dissipated and you saw him as a good friend. Luckily, he felt the same.

However, word about your date had already spread by the time you got to school on Monday. It had reached Jaehyun’s ears and his expression hardened when he saw you laughing with Sunwoo at lunch.

He knew what the ugly feeling in his stomach was. And he wasn’t happy about it. So he reacted in the only way he knew. By clinging to your side and pestering you.

He spent the whole day messing up your hair and being sarcastic. Eventually, you finally snapped and told him to piss off.

“I’ll consider it if you can beat me in tennis today,” he said.

You crossed your arms, wondering what was going on in his head. You hadn’t been able to defeat him since middle school.

“If you can get a single ball past me, I’ll leave you alone,” he proposed. With a huff, you reluctantly agreed. It would be faster to just get it over with.

That was how you two ended up at a tennis court after school. He never went easy on you but he was going especially hard that day. He gave you no breaks and flung the ball back at you with what felt like all his strength. Ball after ball flew past you as he grabbed another one to start again.

“What the hell, Lee Jaehyun?” you yelled across the court. “Why the fuck are you so aggressive today?”

“Are you giving up?” he taunted while bouncing the ball.

“Oh hell no,” you grumbled as you got in position.

Another half an hour passed by with him beating you again and again. You were drenched in sweat and starting to feel sore. But you refused to give him the pleasure of watching you admit defeat.

So you kept going until the ball accidentally hit your shoulder. The amount of force he put into that backhand made you yelp in pain as you dropped the racket.

Startled, Jaehyun ran over to make sure you were okay.

“You just can’t bear to see me win once, can you?” you glared as you shoved his hand away. “You turn everything into a competition and act like you’re superior over me.”

“I-I didn’t mean to do that,” his brows furrowed in guilt.

“Didn’t mean to do what? Make my childhood a living hell by ruining my favorite sport? Use my crush on Sunwoo to trick me into another stupid bet? Confuse me into thinking that you might actually not hate me?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Then why are you so clingy?”

“Because I like you!”

His words brought upon silence. The tension in the air was thick as you both stared at each other.

“You’re so dense,” he sighed. “I wanted your attention, okay? But back then, I was a kid and didn’t know how to stay by your side without annoying the hell out of you. And then I didn’t know how to transition out of that.”

He fidgeted with a loose string on his shirt and took a deep breath before continuing.

“This stupid bet was supposed to change our relationship. I was supposed to show you that I’m not as bad as you think I am. That I’m a guy too. That I’ve been in love with you for a whole decade now.”

To say you were surprised would be a massive understatement. All your life, you had been sure that Jaehyun’s purpose in life was to irritate you. So when your heart began to skip around him, you cursed yourself for giving into the hormones that made you see him in a different light. You never thought that the feelings would be reciprocated.

“You don’t feel the same way? At all?” he carefully asked.

Your mouth opened but no words came out. You couldn’t find the right words to answer his question.

“You’re not saying no,” the corners of his lips curved up.

He took a step closer to you and held your cheeks. You felt your heart race at the proximity and froze.

“For confirmation?” his lips ghosted over yours. You barely managed to nod slightly before he closed the gap between you two.

As cheesy as it sounded, you felt sparks fly the moment you had your first kiss. By the time he pulled away, you felt your cheeks heat up.

“So I guess that means I won the bet before it even began,” you joked, making him laugh.

“Yes, yes you did,” he smiled as he hugged you.