#don't i say to make my abilities average in the next life?!

[gaoau]

would rather kms than make my only winbre post be about Suo's stupid ass, so it's time to talk about Nirei cause i love him. i read a post and my blood started boiling i dont fuck around so now i gotta defend him with my life. also cause im sick and tired of him not being deemed marketable enough to be included in merch and collab illusts when he's a whole—if not the most important—third of the main trio. (theres something to be said about Tsugeura too, considering they don't use him but love using Kiryuu, but that's a different conversation.)

anyway, on Nirei and the exceptionality of being ordinary.

manga spoilers btw also disclaimer im not eloquent at all i just say things.

there's something about Nirei that just simply isn't special and i think that's wonderful. not in a mean-spirited sense; Nirei is the most regular out of anyone in Furin, so much so that he had to buy an ugly shirt he didn't even like to stand out. he's just a kid with a notebook and a simple backstory trying to follow a hero's example. he's nothing extraordinary, especially seeing the people he's surrounded by. physically, he's very limited, which he knows and doesn't ignore at all, so he can't do much in fights. no one is more acutely aware of his own limits than Nirei. i was reading the first couple chapters again and it breaks my heart to hear his efforts be dismissed as "playing hero," because Nirei is the biggest hero in this whole manga.

it's true, yeah, he can't fight. he's more like another average citizen of Makochi than he is a Bofurin member sometimes. he lacks fighting abilities, his diplomacy isn't particularly the best, and he's two seconds away from going into cardiac arrest at almost all times. but it's not like he gives a shit. every single time he gets beaten into the ground, he picks himself back up immediately. he takes hit after hit, time and time again, because no matter how battered or defenseless he is, his drive to stay and protect the town is ridiculously strong. he does go down when he can't take any more (keel), but it's with improvement and training that he manages to throw his first—albeit useless—punch (noroshi or whatever this arc is called idk). improvement that, mind you, comes from recognizing his own limitations.

some have called him reckless (Suo), but i disagree, because Nirei is right. i know the kids would rather look out for him and have him uninjured by the end of a scuffle, but he doesn't need to be coddled. everybody else jumps into a brawl and gets a broken nose regardless of their fighting skills. Nirei isn't any different. he knows he's limited, he knows he can't fight, he knows he's nothing special. he risks it all anyway, because even though he wasn't built for fighting, he's more than prepared to try over and over again until his efforts are enough to make a difference. he's looked at Sakura's back and thought he couldn't match him, that Sakura gets back up even when he's almost fully tapped out, that he's not needed because Sakura's stronger and will be okay without him.

maybe he's right about this, too. i'm inclined to disagree, but i understand where he's coming from. Nirei chases, Nirei can't stop running because he'll fall behind all these phenomenal beasts that can hold their own. i'm so glad the conclusion he reached was "okay, i gotta step up my game," but i'm not really surprised. this is Nirei Akihiko we're talking about and, i think Suo put it best, he wants to become stronger more than anybody.

he's been at a disadvantage this whole time, "playing hero" rather than being an "actual" hero, but he has a goal. if he has to tear himself apart to stand next to Sakura, he will. he doesn't have to, of course, he's already more than useful the way he is, but when you're so ordinary that you get lost in the crowd, standing beside someone so exemplary makes you want more.

honestly, Nirei's fucking wild. lil bro's actually crazy. we've seen characters go apeshit, but no one in this entire manga is nearly as insane as he is. i appreciate Suo telling him to slow down and chill out, cause he was fully intending to kill himself learning how to fight with zero foundation. my guy was more than ready to actually fight Endo. he meant that. it's a good thing he's properly learning how to defend himself, considering he probably lacks the muscle to go on the offense. those are his limits and he knows that. it frustrates him, but it definitely does little to stop him, because look how big his back is. i hope somebody tells him, after all of this is over, that he's doing more than enough, more than great.

to be fair, fighting isn't even where he shines, and that's okay. he's not strong enough to beat anyone's ass and he doesn't need to be, either. he doesn't need to be a leader like Sakura or a devotee like Sugishita or mimic whatever the fuck Suo's got going on. in the words of my favorite pink curse, the real heroes are the ones who support from the back, and that's exactly what Nirei does. he's said it himself, he wants to guide Sakura all the way to the top and he can, because he thrives in being another citizen of Makochi. he's a regular person and i think that's what makes him so compelling and important.

there's something so fascinating about his simplicity. he really is nothing more than just an ordinary kid. put him in a normal high-school classroom and he'll pass his midterms with a 75. he recognizes what he's good at, of course, he knows the town inside out and it's very useful, especially to Sakura. he's amazing support. it really doesn't seem like it and people love to completely dismiss him, but i wanna be outrageous and call him the backbone of these kids. he was Sakura's first friend and he continues to be the one pushing and prodding to make sure he stands back up every single time. he's more necessary than anyone gives him credit for. i have no doubt in my mind that, if it weren't for him, Sakura wouldn't be able to do half the things he's managing. even Suo, who's out here acting like he knows the secrets of the universe, has to stop and reorganize his ideas when Nirei talks.

if Suo is the heart (debatable, but okay, whatever bro says) and brain, i'd like to think Nirei is the spirit and the soul. there's no chance the kids would work so smoothly without Nirei around—which, yes, arguably the same could be said of all of them, but i've seen Nirei be dismissed as a Zenitsu looking ass gag character and i've never had to hold back a kys so hard. idk for sure what the general consensus on him is cause i've only ever seen him used in the context of ships and never on his own, which honestly makes me a little sad. especially after seeing the popularity poll cause he didn't even make it into the top 5 with not even 1k points personal offense tbh i need a word with the voters. what i've gathered is that aint nobody gaf about his ass im devastated Suo has to fuck off (13k votes is crazy gang come on). which i don't understand. take him out of the equation and everything falls apart. Sakura's the sword, Suo's the strategy, and Nirei is the ambition, the desire, the force, the feelings.

there's much to be said about how he's treated, not only in-universe, but also by the people consuming the media and the pr team. i don't fuck with shipping, but when i'm scrolling through my timeline, Nirei only exists in the context of somebody's favorite ship. and don't fucking get me started on the mischaracterization. look me in the eye and tell me Nirei doesn't have more conviction than any of these dumbass kids. yes, he gets scared and he's fucking horrified most of the time, but motherfucker he's fighting. he's out there in the frontlines, making himself useful, biting more than he can chew and then some. i dare you to treat him like wittle baby that needs protection.

if not for his uniqueness, look at him for his regularity, because i find it endearingly wonderful. i think there's something so special about the ordinary. he deserves a lot more than what he's getting so these mfs better put him in all collab illusts cause if i have to see Kaji in his place one more time i will personally book a flight. okay thank you thats all i promise ill never come back here have day.

[omo-queer]

help decide how long i don't get off!

y'all may know by now i don't intend to get off until at least november 1st, but that goal is something i set for myself... and one week in i'm horny enough i want to give up a little control over when i get my next orgasm.

rules:

every like is 12 extra hours, every reblog is 24 extra hours

the timer is already set through november 1st, so any time accrued adds to the end of my minimum month of denial

comments (because they are the most spammable) are each one edge i will do before this challenge is over—i don't have unlimited time so i can't promise more than 10 edges a day on average but i will try very hard

the cap i'm putting on my potential denial is january 1st 2024, which would be three times as long as i've ever gone before

sunday october 15th at 11:59 eastern time is the cutoff for notes

(disclaimers: if during my denial i get involved with someone in-person who wants to decide if/when i get off, they will have the ability to override that orgasm date in either direction. i reserve the right to stop if denial starts making my life actively worse, but since i really like being denied that doesn't seem too likely. multiple reblogs per blog is fine and encouraged, doubly so if you say things on the post or in tags so i get to read it)

... i know everyone says it in these posts, but make me regret posting this! i'm better when i'm denied, so i should have to stay denied as long as possible!

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Yet another average day in Family Video:

"Hey. Remember when you said that you'd totally fuck Jonathan."

"When...? Oh, yeah. What the fuck that was literally a month ago why are you mentioning that now?"

"Because that was the same conversation we decided to get the matching tramp stamps. And trying to hide those from my parents is a literal pain in the ass. Pun fully intended. I can't even sit straight and-"

"I'd say you can't do anything straight"

"Not like I can do anything str- fuck you"

Steve swaggers to the back and takes out the whiteboard they purchased together - on ROBIN'S SUGGESTION may he add.

"Can't believe you're losing in your own game. About bad jokes. And being gay. Which are basically your two only personality traits."

Robin's side is embarrassingly empty. He sees it as cosmic karma for her you-suck-game during their scoops ahoy era.

"Alright mister little bitch"

"And yet, this little bitch is beating you in your own game"

Robin shows him the finger. Steve bites the finger because he is a little shit and things like boundaries and personal space have already lost all meaning between the two of them.

In this moment the front doors open. The elderly man takes one look at the scene before him and leaves without a word.

"Where did the Jonathan thing come from?"

"Dunno. I was bored. Thought it'd be funny to see you go through a gay crisis."

"Not much of a crisis if I already admitted to it."

"You're no fun."

"Really? That was not what my dad said three months ago. According to him I am a fucking joke."

"Coming from Harrington Senior that's honestly a compliment"

"Please remind me of that the next time I radio you at 3 am. Who is on tape duty?"

"I did it last time."

"Alright" Steve nods towards the small pile of romcoms they have pointedly not been reshelving for the last half an hour. "Enjoy your alone time in the romance section."

"Do you think it would be an invasion of privacy if we checked who returned all that? It was either an epic girls night of an awful breakup." Her voice gets fainter as she moves to the back of the store.

"Nah. We're in the land of the free or whatever. Wait, let me do it"

"You're only saying that so you can procrastinate asshole"

"Does that mean you don't want to know who took them? Because I promise you, you really really do."

"Don't ask if you already know the answer dingus"

"Guess"

"Ummm....power bottom."

"What?"

"Like with Jonathan. Would you rather he call the shots or the other way around?"

She makes a series of incomprehensible movements that are probably supposed to represent intercourse between two men.

"This is the reason god made you a lesbian"

"And thank him for that. Amen."

"Why are you so obsessed with Jonathan anyway."

"You're deflecting"

"Yeah sure, I am deflecting. C'mon, Buckley. Resume or later?"

"Who was the one who took all the romcoms?"

"If I tell you, will you tell me what's really going on?"

"Depends on your answer."

"I thought you weren't interested in my sex life? Every time-"

In this moment the door opens again. Two girls come in, arm in arm. One is wearing a look that can only be described as disgust, the other is clearly trying to hold in laughter with moderate success.

Over the course of many painful months of customer service (plus surviving an interrogation by the actual Russian secret service) Steve and Robin have developed the ability to hold entire conversations without speaking a single word. It is a very neat talent to have when they want to make fun of someone right in front of them. It is less neat when he is the target.

Robin raises her brows. C'mon dingus, tell these random ass girls about your sex life since you're so proud of it.

Steve frowns in response. Yeah, sure Mrs. Never Even Had A First Kiss.

Robin narrows her eyes. I did have a first kiss. Even if it was absolutely horrible.

Steve puts on his most insufferable expression. You yourself said that it doesn't count. No need to be so jealous Buckley.

Robin rolls her eyes. Alright, I want to see you trying to find a-

"Do you have ET?", Robin doesn't say because, oh yeah, they've got actual customers.

Steve solemnly informs them that ET is current out of stock, but that it should be returned in two days. Robin somehow manages to force her last two movies upon them. They leave with a dazed look on their face that Steve can relate to. Sometimes Robin will start talking and the next thing you know you have a tramp stamp.

"Tommy Hagan"

Robin looks absolutely disgusted. "Tommy Hagan?! You would kiss Tommy Hagan? And then you have the audacity to make fun of my taste in women?!"

"First of all: me and Hagan? Been there done that." Robin looks as if her entire worldview was just flipped upside down. "Second: probably not, he uses a bit too much tongue for my liking. I mean that Tommy Hagan was the one who rented all the romcoms"

Robin takes a moment to process this information. Then she dramatically falls to the floor and squirms around in laughter like a bug on its back trying to get up again. Truly a drama kid through and through.

"And thirdly: for your information, I super could make out with Jonathan Byers. Unlike you, I've got game"

"You don't mean gay-me?"

Steve rolls his eyes and takes out the whiteboard again. He is still in the lead.

"And also, excuse you, I totally could make out with Nancy if I wanted to, okay?! I'm just not a homewrecker unlike some other people"

"Excuse me? I was the one who was cheated on?!"

"I'm insulting your taste, dingus"

"Rich coming from you, since we apparently share the same one"

For a moment she looks confused. Then she thinks back to what she said. Steve can pinpoint the exact moment she realizes it.

"Is this the reason you want me to be into Jonathan so bad? Because you're into Nancy?" Steve feels like a smug cat when her entire upper body grows red.

"Shut up she's just pretty okay?!"

"And badass. Don't forget badass."

"Oh my god I know. Ever since I saw her shooting I haven't been able to get her out of my mind."

"Right?! And as if that isn't enough, she has to go and be smart too! Like, c'mon, she has to have some faults. Some downsides. Nobody is that prefect!"

"Oh my god I know! And-"

They continue like that for a while. Time runs away from them and suddenly Hellfire Club is over and Steve's kids (minus Max, he notes with a heavy heart) are barging into the place as if they own it, for no reason other than to be absolute menaces.

"And like. Robin. She was so hot in that moment. I swear to-"

"Who are you talking about?". Steve is used to Dustin being a rude little shit and automatically answers without even thinking about it. "Nancy."

He realizes his mistake too late. He looks up. Mike's eyes are wide in horror. "I hate you so fucking much" he says before turning around and leaving.

Robin sighs. "I guess that is the downside."

-> the tramp stamp conversation

-> gatekeeping 101

-> breaking out of a heteronormative mindset

[steveshairychest]

tw: mentions of death

Eddie will forever be grateful that he got a second chance but now he's starting to feel the consequences of his immortality.

Steve's old enough to be his dad now. His hair is almost completely grey at 45; he says the stress of babysitting 6 kids really sped up the process. Eddie still thinks he's the most beautiful person alive, he's aging like fine wine right before his eyes and he's so glad that he gets to spend every second of his immortal life with Steve.

He just wished they'd grow old together.

Dustin's kids think it's weird that their dad is friends with someone who's only just 'freshly 21' but Eddie thinks it's weird that they've never questioned why the man they've known since they were infants hasn't aged a day. He's starting to realise that children are very oblivious, especially if you bring gifts everytime you visit.

He still DMs for the party except now their children join in too. They like to remind Eddie that his rules are very outdated. He gets a disappointed frown from one of his friends when he kills their kid's character just because they annoyed him.

He thought explaining his eternal youth to his friend's kids was going to be the hardest part but he was wrong.

The hardest part was watching all his friends die.

It never got easier. He held their hands, whispered words of comfort as he listened to their hearts slowly stop. He cursed his abilities in these moments; wished he couldn't smell the illness in their blood and hear their hearts get weaker and weaker as they grew older.

Steve went sooner than he expected.

It came on so suddenly, he had no time to prepare himself, no time to figure out a way to go with him.

"See the world for me." Steve whispers to him. He's smiling, he's fucking dying and he has the audacity to smile at Eddie.

"I don't want to live in a world without you." Eddie's voice cracks and he scoots his chair closer so that he can gently rest his head on Steve's stomach. Steve weakly plays with his hair, that stupid smile still on his face.

"Always so dramatic." Steve traces Eddie's face, runs his fingers over his eyes, his nose, his lips, the scar on the side of his face from the bats; something that feels like a lifetime ago. "I love you, Eds, I won't be mad if you find someone else. Just make sure you visit and tell me about them." Eddie's sobbing now, his body shaking as he cries and grips Steve's hand tighter. He can hear it. He can fucking hear his heart slow. It's a sound he'll never be able to forget.

"My heart belongs to you... in this life.. and the next." And then he's gone.

Eddie's ears ring and he knows he's causing a scene, knows that screaming Steve's name won't magically drag him back from whatever place he's gone to, but he can't stop. He has to be forcefully dragged out of the room which is a struggle because Eddie is stronger than the average human.

He hates the silence, hates that he'll never hear the calming, steady beat of his lovers heart. He doesn't sleep for weeks, it feels wrong to sleep in their bed without Steve. He doesn't eat, can't even bring himself to open the fridge and drink the last bit of blood Steve had put aside for him.

It gets to a point where Dustin's oldest kid, Julie, comes to visit and finds him curled up on the floor, hunger so bad he's unable to move, to speak.

"Steve wouldn't want this." She chides and force feeds him the blood from the fridge. He doesn't know when Dustin told her about him, doesn't really care at that point. All he can do is sob weakly as Steve's blood fills his mouth and brings him back from the edge. "Come on. We're going to visit dad."

Dustin's in a retirement home now.

He'd gone downhill after his wife died and the kids had their own lives, they didn't have time to look after him 24/7. Eddie would have taken him in if he'd known, but he's been in a state of limbo for 2 months now. He'd collapsed on the kitchen floor a week ago and would have stayed there if Julie hadn't shown up, his body can withstand neglect a lot better than he thought.

He's missed Robin's 70th birthday.

He's missed the birth of Mike and El's 4th grand kid.

He's missed the release of Will's final book in his series.

He's missed so much life while mourning Steve. He didn't realise so much could happen in just 2 months.

"Hey, dad, I've brought a visitor." Julie says softly, making sure not to startle Dustin. He's sitting on the small lounge next to the window, an old fantasy book in his hands, and seeing him sit there brings back memories of when they were younger. When Dustin used to come by Steve's house just to be near Eddie, to remind himself that Eddie was okay. They'd sit in the bay window in Steve's lounge room and read together for hours. Steve would walk by and flick the lamp on for them because they wouldn't even notice that the sun had set.

He can still see that little kid in the old man in front of him, he's hidden under the wrinkles and grey hair, but when his eyes light up and his smile takes over his face, Eddie sees the kid that he risked his life for. "Eddie!"

Julie leaves them to talk, says that she'll grab them all a cup of coffee. Eddie declines. He hasn't been able to drink coffee since Steve died. It reminds him too much of waking up to quiet humming from the kitchen and coffee flavoured kisses.

Dustin scolds Eddie for neglecting himself, for not calling him or coming to see him so that they could mourn together. It feels strange to be scolded by someone that you used to babysit.

"He told me to move on." Eddie says quietly, bitterly. "But I don't think I'll ever be able to forget him."

"You don't have to forget him." Dustin scoots closer to Eddie on the cramped lounge and makes him look him in the eyes. "You're going to be around for a long time, Eds. You can't be that stereotypical vampire that mourns his long lost love for centuries."

"Maybe I want to."

"Steve would strangle me when I see him next if I let you do that."

When I see him next.

That makes Eddie ache. Will he ever get to see Steve again? Can he even die? He doesn't want Dustin to leave him too but he knows Steve is probably lonely wherever he is. He never liked being on his own for very long.

Eddie leans against his friend's shoulder and sighs shakily. He doesn't want to cry again. He's tired of crying. "I feel hollow, Dustin. I think Steve took a part of me with him."

"He was always quite greedy when it came to you."

Eddie smiles for the first time in 2 months. "He was, wasn't he. He always stole your time with me." He playfully jabbed Dustin in the side and it felt good to laugh with him, to smile and see the familiar twinkle of joy in his friend's eyes.

When they stop laughing and the room fills with a comfortable silence, Eddie asks quietly, "Do you really think you'll see him again?"

Dustin hums and leans back into the lounge, a knowing smile on his lips. "You'll see him again, Eddie. I know it."

Eddie scoffs with a smile. "Why? Because you're old and wise?"

"Precisely."

Eddie knows Dustin is just saying what he wants to hear, what he thinks he needs to move on with his life, but a small part of himself hopes it's true.

He hopes that after he's seen the world, he'll be able to tell Steve all about it.

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 15

Wait, what? She was totally fine at the end of the last episode

Ah, it's so he can be the hero and carry her to safety. Where did this crowd come from, though? The amusement park was deserted when they got on the ferris wheel

Of course he took her to his place instead of the hospital. Not sure where the IV came from though.

Aww it's a reversal of the time he was passed out in her brother's bed and grabbed hold of her hand

Good old drama medicine. One IV and some sleep and you're totally fine the next day

See! She's asking the same questions as me. This is why I love her.

Oh well that explains the IV

Is he seriously going to suggest that to thank him for 'saving her life' she should let him be in her movie?

Wait, they didn't immediately claim their prize money???

Look at him sitting in his car rehearsing what to say like a nerd (affectionate)

How does an only child who has no kids of his own know so much about how to take care of a baby, but Im Sol who has multiple neices and nephews has no clue?

Ehehe! That's what you get for being so smug about your childcare abilities

Oh hello

Aww and this is like the time he made her hide in his closet. Everything is in reverse in this timeline.

I feel like I recognise those posters behind him but not sure what they are

Oh sweetie...

You know, 15 episodes in and he still really looks like someone I know but I can't put my finger on who. I think maybe it's an amalgam of a few different idols. Like a bit of Jin and a bit of Taemin

I love that the two of them are literally idols and Inhyuk is like 'remember that super hot and popular boy we went to school with'

Ooh he's having flashbacks again. I'm curious which version of events he's remembering. Because she travelled back 3 times and changed different things each time before the 4th time where she made it so that they never met

I mean I have no idea how much houses cost in Korea but even if you blow it all on a house you still have your incomes and no mortgage or rent to pay

LMAO the reason they got such a low prize (it's just over £200k for me) is because he got drunk and told everyone in line the numbers so 50 people won the jackpot

Dude as been begging to do this movie for ages and as soon as he signs on he immediately wants to change the ending. Like I know we, as the audience, understand why. But to anyone else this just makes him look like a diva

Oh no it's sad Jongho song time

Poor Im Sol. Two confessions in one day. One from a person she can't be with, and one from a person she doesn't want to be with

Ooh is he starting to remember the previous timelines too?

Okay, I love this idea. I'm getting all emotional.

Aww he wrote the song about her again even though he doesn't have the experience of meeting her in the rain. Because his memories are part of his soul.

6 years for attempted murder seems very low. Now I'm looking up the average sentence time for attempted murder and I'm probably on some sort of watch list now. Obv I don't know what it's like in Korea but in the UK you would only get 6 years if it was something like self-defence

Well that was very dramatic. I was so invested in what was happening I forgot to pause and liveblog

Ah, he does remember everything. All versions of events. Well, no wonder he fainted. That's a lot to take in.

[luvtonique]

I feel like my artist career might be nearly over.

Now mind you, not because I'm burnt out, or because of some kind of controversy, but entirely because I don't know how much longer I can keep trying to push forward with it.

I don't hate my art, I don't even dislike it. It's my passion, and I want my entire life to be a life or creating art and telling stories.

I love sharing what I create with the world and I love having support from my fanbase.

But as of right now, I just can't get anyone noticing anything I do.

I've been working on a video game for almost a full year now, have gameplay footage I've shown, sprite animations, story I've shown off, characters I've been drawing and describing and giving backstories, and I get like 20 notes tops on anything I post.

I do streams for an average of 5 viewers every Monday and Wednesday and Friday. 5 viewers.

I have had a fundraiser to get me out of California because I can't afford to live here, I'm disabled, and I have a 75yo mother and an autistic brother I'm trying to get out of here too, and I barely scraped together $3000 of donations over the last year.

I pour my heart and soul into music that I've been writing and I'm met with backlash or people flat out ignoring the songs I post because people say my lyrics I write aren't worthy of notice or a paycheck. Soundcloud outright denied my ability to monetize my music. Completely. I am no longer able to request monetization.

The state of California has spent the last 15 years denying my attempts to get SSI, state disability, any kind of social security for my rheumatoid arthritis, and I even got told by a disability lawyer that they had to decline my case because I don't take medication for my disability. When I told them I don't have medical insurance because I don't qualify for MediCAL, they said that isn't their problem.

I watch other artists with 170,000 followers on Twitter bashing me and saying I don't deserve my fanbase for reasons they're just making up, and when I try to defend myself they just bash me harder and block me while I'm over on Twitter with like 300 followers and not getting noticed by anyone.

I reach out to my friends to get retweets, reblogs, etc. and I get nothing. No help, no love, after literal years of me promoting them and doing multistreams with them and collabs with them to help them get noticed.

I've even been blocked by multiple friends of mine when I asked if they wanted to partner up for projects. Really! Blocked! Outright blocked because people want so badly to get away from me!

I am literally starving. I'm currently eating stale sourdough bread that my mom made 2 weeks ago because it's all we have in the house.

I'm sitting here suffering constantly and when I ask people if they wanna like do a collab or do an art trade they always tell me they don't have time, and then the next day I see them post 6-7 art trades they did with another artist.

I make fan-art or fan-music for my artist friends and they just completely ignore it.

I am planning to rework my Patreon into a game dev Patreon to help support my solo development on Melodi, and I guarantee with certainty it won't breach $300 a month.

I have spent my entire life from age 11 to age 35 just working hard to make a living off of my art and all I have earned is a reputation as "a shithead" who never gets given the opportunity to question or debate or be interviewed by the people who call me a shithead.

I'm on the verge of fizzling out.

I'm barely surviving.

And when my game comes out, some day, it may very well be the last thing you ever see from me. I may just leave the internet. I may give up and go find another life to live.

Because even though this is my dream, even though this is all I've ever wanted to do with my life, even though I'm talented and my few fans I still have love everything I make and constantly tell me that my creations are gorgeous, I just plain can't keep doing this forever. I cannot, and will not, continue to suffer alone and obscure.

Case in point: This post is gonna get 2-6 comments from the same people who comment on all my emotional posts saying "I wish I could help but I can't so here's a virtual hug," 16-25 likes and 2 reblogs. And then I'll delete the post.

[the-modern-typewriter]

Patreon update

Hello everyone!

(I'm posting this here as well as on my Patreon in case it's relevant to anyone)

So, I have been mulling over this for a while and felt I should provide some head's up...

Starting next month, I am going to focus on posting two new stories a week rather than three on my Patreon. This is not to say there will never be three, only that I'm not going to push myself to do three consistently every week.

I have been feeling increasingly stressed trying to keep up with everything, and focusing on two would give me just a little bit more breathing room to look after myself and my health. My life has changed a lot since I first started my Patreon in 2018 and I don't realistically have as much time anymore as I did then. Some weeks are fine, and then other weeks I'm desperately trying to fit everything in.

I have also been looking back over my Patreon archives out of curiosity and realised that my average number of story posts in each month of 2019 and 2018 was 7-10 stories. In 2023 and 2022 it has averaged between 12-14. The price has not changed since I started.

I suspect that when the pandemic happened in 2020, my productivity went up because my country was in lock down so I didn't have as many other things to juggle. However, when the world opened up again, I think it was in my head that 'three is what I did', so I updated my bio accordingly and ploughed on. 

I enjoy writing the stories that I share with you all and running my Patreon a lot, but it also takes a lot of my time and energy to do so, and I think I've finally accepted that my current output isn't sustainable to me or my ability to be creative in the long-term.

I hope this makes sense.

Gonna go cook dinner and then work on the next story now!

Thank you for all of your support so far :)

Simone/The-Modern-Typewriter

[not-poignant]

T/F:

1) In your next life you’d like to be born as a bird

2) Dicord is your favorite social media app

3) You prefer texting to calling

1) In your next life you’d like to be born as a bird

False

~

Birds being my favourite family of animal has made me realise a long time ago I don't want to be one.

They live rough lives, and the pets mostly live rough lives too. It's much much harder to give the average parrot a good quality of life comparatively to a domesticated dog or cat, and most parrots live solitary, horrible, long lives, with barely enough enrichment or stimulation, and no ability to fly freely (which I do think is important to their wellbeing).

As a result, I don't ever want to be reborn as a bird. I admire them and think they're incredible, but that's... yeah from a safe 'no I don't want to be them distance.'

2) Dicord is your favorite social media app

False

~

Don't get me wrong, I do really love it, and it's definitely in the top three. But I get social anxiety around chatting, and it's a chatting app, so... So it can't be my favourite because it can cause really intense social anxiety for me!

Tumblr is my favourite social media app, and actually, despite Instagram being a shitshow, it's pretty high up there too! I like that I can just heart react to people to show I still exist without having to commit to conversation.

But yeah I'd say it's Tumblr / Discord / Instagram. If Tumblr ever does something worse than the worse things it's already done, it'll be Discord!

3) You prefer texting to calling

True!

~

Absolutely, though unlike some people, I don't mind making professional phone calls. Personal phone calls I can only handle with my mum, lol, otherwise I want to get off the phone ASAP. I talk more 'clearly' when I'm typing, so I much much prefer texting.

[centipedelightning]

Hi! This is v silly and feel free to like... ignore it but. How would the skelebros react to a monster reader? Specifically an elephant monster. I love elephants n my oc is one :,)

okie my surprise month-long hiatus is over and I get to start with one of the cutest ideas ever!! genuinely love this mousy. You can stay on anon but would you consider showing me your oc??? I don't even need to post the ask or anything, they just sound v cute. anywho since you didn't specify who I'm gonna just go down my list and write until I run out of ideas lmao.

| UT/UF/US Skelebros x gn!elephant monster reader || platonic/non-specified || fluff |

Sans

He thinks you are so so amazing

Elephant puns of course, but I don't need to tell you that.

You are bigger than him naturally and he finds it kinda funny. You have never heard more "How's the weather up there?" jokes in your life.

He also loves naptime with you. Just laying on or next to you and doing nothing. Very chill and relaxing.

He will make you carry all his stuff for him btw. Elephants have incredible strength and Sansy-boy will exploit that.

Shopping? You're carrying all his bags.

Comedy routine? You're carrying all the equipment of course.

Bookstore runs? Science junk? You guessed it.

Papyrus

Let me hear you say "Workout Buddies"!!!

Y'all will suplex random objects for the fun of it.

Elephants aren't really known for their stamina or running abilities, so you probably aren't jog buddies.

Pick him up if you can he loves it.

I am an average hight (5'7" - 5'10") Papyrus truther so if you are taller than him, he loves that as well.

My crafty Papy once again makes a return. He lovesss to make little friendship bracelets and stuff for you. If you have tusks, he likes to make especially big versions to make the decorations more obvious.

Body paint too!! He really enjoys when you two have your more relaxed hang-outs where you just throw on some MTT and chill. You sit on the floor and do your own thing while Papyrus paints your ears, trunk, or back.

Red

Another bitch that will shamelessly mooch. "oh woe is me, I can't reach. :(((((" and it's just the top shelf of the cabinet.

You get hearing jokes. So many. I hope you aren't insecure or something about your ears bc Red has a lot of material. If you are he obviously will stop. but god help you otherwise.

He really likes walking around local parks and public gardens, so you and your superior reach are quite welcome.

He's surprisingly good at making flower crowns and Trust that you will be decked out during the Spring.

He will also carve a little wooden figure of an actual elephant for you for your birthday. he has a matching one that he keeps on his vanity.

Edge

Intimidated by you, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I hope you know the basics of puzzles and trap-making because Edge will be enlisting your help. If not he's more than happy to teach!

I see Edge as someone that likes to do jewelry-making (like charm bracelets and the like), so you will defiantly be getting cute items that look amazing on you.

Great grasp of color theory when it comes to clothes and skin color/tone btw. He loves to go shopping with you and will make a whole day of it. You now have a personal stylist congrats.

Workout buddies of course. Though you will be doing more cardio than you might have initially signed up for.

Blue

Swim buddies!!! Blue has a pool membership and beach access, y'all will be in the water on the regular.

Where Papyrus does friendship bracelets, Blue makes Kandi! He makes you a lot of fun matching pieces all the time.

Loves going on hikes with you. He will info-dump about all the edible, inedible, and deadly plants found on the local trails. Y’all will also be foraging the whole time.

He tries not to make you haul stuff for him but please offer anyway, he's gonna trip.

If you have piercings, Blue loves to shop around for stuff that will complement you. And there's a lot of room on an elephant's ear!! He has space to be creative!

Stretch

Photos photos photos!

You are his favorite model for sure. Stetch's usual photography subjects are small animals or landscapes, but he's learned portraiture just for you!

He loves naptime with you more than Sans btw. You two can be hanging out watching a show when all of a sudden you have a weight pressing against your arm. He's just comfortable around you! so please don't move him.

For any situation that might call for it, he lovesss getting on your shoulders. It also means he can be even more obnoxious about his own tall ass + yours. Blue hates y'all (he doesn't).

[hypergamiss]

Why does it seem like other women are able to find men who like them so easily? Pretty much every woman around me has a replacement the next month right after a breakup. They have relationships back to back to back. Meanwhile I've never been in a real relationship. It's starting to effect my self esteem. It seems like it's so easy for other women except for me. Everyone always says "you need to lOvE yOuRsElF first and then a relationship will come". Well that advice just makes me feel worse because it indirectly implies that all the other girls who are in relationships are perfect and completely in love with themselves, which is why companionship is so easy for them to find. Imperfect women, who clearly don't love themselves find mates all the time. I've seen so many "he saved me and changed my life for the better" stories from people in seemingly great relationships.

The whole love yourself advice is double edged because I have no idea what it means. I live a life that clearly suggests that I value myself, yet nothing is happening for me. I invest in myself all the time. I also have no problem being by myself. When I bring this topic up to other women, they suggest that my desire for wanting a companion is because I don't enjoy my own company and that needs to be fixed first. But that's not it at all. I'm very introverted and love hanging out by myself...now I just want someone to share my experiences with. I'm 25 and I'm ready to experience romance. It's completely natural and human to desire a companion. We are social beings after all.

"Why does it seem like other women are able to find men who like them so easily? Pretty much every woman around me has a replacement the next month right after a breakup."

On average, women will always have more options than men. While us women do have multiple men simultaneously pursue us, it doesn't mean they are all worth our time. We have to sift through the options because entertaining everything that comes your way isn't something to be proud of or productive at all.

"They have relationships back to back to back. Meanwhile I've never been in a real relationship."

Having relationships back to back isn't healthy at all. Dating back to back would be more normal since it's about getting to know different people, but constantly rotating through relationships probably means that they need to do a lot of inner work because they are not capable of forming real and intimate/emotional connections with other people. This more than likely means that they leave every relationship as soon as the infatuation and honey moon phase fades away. This is pretty toxic if you really think about it.

"Meanwhile I've never been in a real relationship. It's starting to effect my self esteem. It seems like it's so easy for other women except for me."

There is nothing wrong with choosing yourself over being in a situation that isn't right for you, you're doing great. Is this effecting your self esteem because you are comparing yourself to other people or because you feel like you need some validation in your life?

"Everyone always says "you need to lOvE yOuRsElF first and then a relationship will come".

Personally, I constantly preach this because it is so common for women to completely let down their standards and find themselves being treated very poorly for the sake of just being in a relationship when they can do so much better. If this advice doesn't apply to you, you always have the option to ignore it.

"Imperfect women, who clearly don't love themselves find mates all the time. I've seen so many "he saved me and changed my life for the better" stories from people in seemingly great relationships."

You can't believe everything you hear and see off the bat. Yes, on a rare occasion there will be emotionally stable and healthy men who have the ability to help their partners heal and become confident. But more often than not, people post things without including what happens behind closed doors. They'll tell the world "he saved me and changed my life for the better" while probably being extremely codependent and anxious and not working through these issues (as an example) and then the world gets shocked when they announce their break up.

"I live a life that clearly suggests that I value myself, yet nothing is happening for me."

I would say that this advice doesn't apply to you, only to the women who still have work to do internally. I mean I hear it all the time as a single woman, not once do I internalize it and take it personal. I have learned to love myself a long time ago.

"When I bring this topic up to other women, they suggest that my desire for wanting a companion is because I don't enjoy my own company and that needs to be fixed first."

I really don't think that there is anything needing to be "fixed." I think that you are going about your life in a very healthy and normal way. The women who you are speaking to seem to be in a different path in life and they don't know what else to tell you. I think it's perfectly normal to want companionship as a BONUS to your life. It's only an issue when someone is seeking companionship to fully depend on it for them to be happy. Your thoughts are perfectly normal.

"now I just want someone to share my experiences with. I'm 25 and I'm ready to experience romance."

Then have fun and experiment(on your terms)! Put yourself out there and learn how to dress, flirt, network, signal, etc....

[bonesandthebees]

as an adult fanfiction writer myself (i'm in my 20s, too), it's really impressive how much progress you've made with your writing. how do you balance writing with other adult priorities? this is what i struggle myself; i want to be able to write, but i don't seem to have enough time. i recently deleted all my old drafts and most of my outlines so i could focus on writing a few stories in mind. idk if this is the way to go, but i made my decision.

p.s. i'm on my way to read your sbi stories, they sound great.

oooo what a good question!

well, for one thing I think I need to say that I'm technically unemployed at the moment (and technically have been for the past year due to family stuff going on) which definitely gives me more time to write compared to if I had a full time job. but at the same time I do kind of have a job? I don't like revealing too many details about my personal life on this blog, but let's just say I kind of work for a family member (but I don't get paid for it). either way, I do have more free time than the average 23 year old probably does so that certainly helps

at the same time though, I actually wrote more while I was a full time uni student. like, I wrote clinic in 6 months during my senior year of uni. still not sure how I did that one. so maybe it's not the unemployment thing lol

ok I rambled a bit too much on this so I'm going to put it under the cut

either way, I do have a lot of daily responsibilities that I have to schedule my writing around which does present a challenge. I'd say two major things contribute to me being able to write so much: one, I just write way faster than most people can write. And two: I put a lot of effort into recognizing the scope of my own abilities, and try not to put too many projects on my plate at once.

with the whole being able to write really fast thing, that's the result of years and years of intensive writing practice. from the time I was around 13-14ish, I started trying to write almost daily. around 15 is when I discovered fanfic, and once I was actually able to write things I could post online and get feedback on, whenever I sat down for a near daily writing session my goal would be to write a minimum of 1k words. a lot of the time I missed this goal, but it was fine and I just kept trying, not beating myself up too much about it because I viewed it all as practice. I wanted to get really good at writing, which is why I just kept at it, knowing it would get easier with time. and it did!

in short, practicing writing, any writing at all regardless of if it's going to be published or not, will help you get faster at writing. now this is going to conflict with the next thing I talk about, but I digress

now, the easier thing to emulate is managing the projects you work on. in my head I have about 3 categories of wips—actively working on to publish, off to the side dormant that I'm either planning on getting to or I might get around to, and never going to see the light of day but I'm working on it just for myself. if I decide to mentally move a wip into the 'active' category, I need to make sure it's the type of story I'm going to enjoy working on and will be able to complete. then when I have free time, I know that's going to be a top priority and I need to focus on that before other things. if I have a wip in the dormant category, if I have free time and I either don't have anything I need to actively work on to publish (like if I just posted a chapter the day before) or I really just don't want to work on my active wips, then I can take a second look at my dormant wip outlines and see if writing any of them gets the juices flowing. then there's the never see the light of day wips, and those I can write at any time because it's just for me, and yeah I should prioritize the active wips over them and I usually will, but also writing is a hobby I enjoy first and foremost. and also, any writing practice will help you. so even if you don't plan to publish it, writing a self indulgent thing will help you get faster, build stamina, improve your writing—all of that stuff.

so I think what you described with deleting old outlines/drafts makes sense, but also I never delete my old writing drafts just bc I love seeing my progress over the years but that's just me. but either way, making an effort to focus on active wips is a smart move, but also remember that not everything you write has to be published. the more practice you get with writing (and by that I mean literally any writing at all), the easier it's going to be to write longer things and finish them. you build that stamina like a muscle, and it can take a very long time to build it up enough, but it's definitely worth it in the end.

also just experiment with how you outline and plan stuff in a way that works for your brain, because when you have to write around adult responsibilities you have to streamline things as much as possible. despite the fact that I started writing fic at 15, I struggled so much with finishing long fics until I started writing for dsmp when I had just turned 21. and that's because I figured out a new outlining method that worked perfectly for my brain. it was a combination of planning some things, but not everything so that I kept myself interested in the story. experiment with how much or how little you plan your stories, because when you have a limited time to write, you want it to be something you're interested in and able to dive right into writing.

sorry this was so long winded, I really suck at giving short answers sometimes. hope that helps though! remember, the most important thing is that you're enjoying what you're doing :)

[adam-sadmon]

So ya know, a lot of people I know (friends, acquaintances etc.) have felt, especially this year, the call of the abyss, the sheer absence of any purpose or will to live, some felt it a little more than others.

I've always considered myself lucky, ever since I overcame that issue myself, that I'm maybe uniquely gifted in the ability to find a lot of joy in the little things, it's easy to see that as taking what scraps life throws off its plate to you, but I especially am guilty of always thinking life should be more, a better job, a relationship, more money, bigger house, fancy clothes etc. And to that I'd say, as I've learned: Survive first, live second. These are trying times even for those with a decent starting hand, let alone those without.

So, with all that said, I wanted to get out a few little things I've enjoyed this year, I hope you reblog it and add some of your own, I have no end of want to pick up some new hobbies or fascinations, and I'd love to make some mutuals on here. So with all that said:

Gunpla- Right, so this has been the big one. I first got into it when I came across a Zaku II Gunpla on Halloween and, being a big fan of mecha and the Zaku's design I picked it up. Prior to this I had been struggling with my free time and what to do with it, it was a time when I eagerly anticipated sleep and would zone out and go into a full dopamine fueled trance of YouTube shorts and whatever was on TV. Gunpla changed that. Now, every night for an half an hour, an hour, maybe 2, I'd sit down, put a podcast from my mountain of media I need to get through on in the background, and get to work. It's been genuinely nice having an actual hobby, something I can take some time on, actually think my own thoughts for a little bit, and be rewarded with something to put up. For Christmas I invested in some tools (sharper snippers, some different grit sandpaper, line removers etc.) and hope next year to slowly improve, make my builds a little cleaner. Gunpla really speaks to the average Japanese hobbyist I imagine, the whole idea of measure twice, cut once, spending an inordinate amount of time on a single part so it's polished to perfection, and taking pride in what you do, I get it now.

If you want to get into Gunpla yourself I, much as I love the Zaku, can't really recommend the High Grade Zaku II as mine falls apart if I look at it funny, though I've recently bought a high grade RX-78 which I've heard is sturdier. If you like either of those and find yourself getting into the hobby then I absolutely recommend the Real Grade Z'Gok, it was a treat to put together from start to finish, it's a beautiful piece of plastic even if you (like me) don't plan on painting it, it's sturdy and it's articulation is second to none. I've recently picked up a Real Grade Zeong for Christmae and, on and off-note, I feel like every time I see a new suit I think "that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen", and it immediately enters my faves. Z'Gok, Zeong, Gogg and Hygogg.

Gundam - So, this may be cheating because arguably Gundam is as far removed from a little thing as possible, but really the way I see Gundam is you choose what looks the coolest to you and jump in.

So a friend asked if I had actually watched any Gundam when I bought my Gunpla, and while I maintain so long as you think the Gunpla in question would look sick on a shelf you need no other reason to justify getting it, I'm again a big fan of mecha so decided I'd have a go. So here come the recommendations:

Gundam Thunderbolt: December Sky - First of the Thunderbolt movies and (from what I understaaaaand?) is an OVA of a full series, December Sky is for my money the most War is Hell of any Gundam series while still remaining actually believable and salient to war and it's impacts as we know it today. It stars Daryl Lorenz, an amputee sniper and mobile suit pilot of the evil Zeon regime and focuses a lot on his and his brothers in arms' role under Zeon and how each side has good, honest men and women fighting for causes they don't understand or have lost all meaning of, with special focus on the cold brutality of war, how it affects people inside the mechs and out and how much can be lost for so little. It has a pretty famous soundtrack comprised of frenetic and freestyle jazz as well as some wholly original, voiced pop songs, with the framing device of both Daryl and rival pilot Io Flemming listening to music they have a deep connection with during fights, the juxtaposition of which is awe inspiring, tragic and sometimes even beautiful, in a haunting way. Not for the faint of heart but a must watch for people like me who prefer more grounded and brutal mech combat as well as a story both introspective of its themes and characters. I won't say much about Io Flemming because this is a positive post and, I'mma keep it real with you, I hate Io Flemming.

Gundam Thunderbolt: Bandit Flower - Now this is a very hard recommendation. December Sky is sold a lot on its narrative and thematic elements, whereas Bandit Flower throws basically all of that out for balls to the wall anime bullshit. Focus is given less on the characters or any overarching point but instead on showcasing all the cool new Gundams. I'd still recommend it however if only because it's focus entirely on spectacle and action means it's at the very least a fun, dumb watch, with admittedly a few standout story moments like the Zeon Remnants as characters and their fight in the Arctic.

War in the Pocket - Points immediately for maybe my favourite mobile suit in the entire franchise, the Hygogg, War in the Pocket is also in the War is Hell subcategory following the great war between the goodies and the baddies (I'm condensing here) through the eyes of a kid caught in the middle of it, with a LOT of time dedicated to more of the slice of life of your ordinary kid in the Universal Gundam universe, though what fights do occur onscreen are stellar. A mixed bag when it comes to recommending it since your patience has to be pretty high and, admittedly, I feel like Gundam is perfectly capable of delivering its message while not boring me. Still, it's 80's animation so even the boring bits are a joy to watch.

Deli Sandwiches - Okay, yes I know this sounds like I'm prescribing hearty sandwiches for depression and yes I kinda am but here me out: Corned beef. This is probably going to really emphasise just how much joy I can find in the little things but sat down, watching TV with corned beef, sauerkraut and melted swiss cheese all in one beautiful hoagie, it made me feel like life isn't all bad. I don't even LIKE cheese that's how good it was.

Street Fighter - So to preface this, Street Fighter is a series I've WANTED to get into for sometime. I remember vividly playing SF2 Turbo on my Gameboy Advance back when I was a kid and, when I was in my teens and wanting to actively get into fighting games, picking up SFV. This, right, was a mistake. Street Fighter unlike any other franchise I've played is not only not beginner friendly it's most diehard fans seem to want to keep it that way, so thank God for SF6. Even beyond all the praise I could give it for Modern Controls and it's ability to not only let me play the game, in a hype manner, online against real people and WIN but it's a visually gorgeous game, it's redesigns of classic characters are basically all straight up improvements and new characters (shoutouts especially to my mains, Manon, Marisa and A.K.I) all have a sense of identity and belonging within the SF universe, and that's not even mentioning the soundtrack. Go, immediately, listen to R.E.D, Zangief's theme, The Plunderer, JP's theme.

I titled this recommendation Street Fighter and not Street Fighter 6, because playing SF6, actually getting invested in the characters and feeling like I'm a part of this niche now, urged me to seek out more, which is why I'm also going to recommend the Udon comics which I've read enough issues of to give a give thumbs up as well as the 1994 anime movie, not heavy on plot but easily some of the most enjoyable martial arts fight choreography in anime.

The Yogpod - So this isn't really anything new to me, per se, but I hope it will be for you. I used to listen to the Yogpod, that is the Yogscast's podcast, a long while back, not when it first premiered but in time to listen as some of the middle to later episodes first came out. Lewis and Simon at their peak were, and I use this word specifically, effortlessly funny and had a genuine sense of camaraderie, with hour long conversations that devolve into tangent after tangent from a single talking point the way conversations with old friends do, and it's great to sit in on that not only for the laughs but, and this may sound sad, feeling like your there.

Now, I will add a few things:

This is specially the Yogpod, not Triforce. Ive5nit listened to Triforce as I'm nit familiar with its newer cast and while I have no doubt it probably is a good listen perhaps it's just my nostalgia but I have no urge to listen to it.

I have not kept up with the Yogscast as they are today at all, I'm not aware of their political leanings or any drama outside of the Sjin incident which, as far as I'm aware, they handled in the most sensible manner possible.

All that said, onto recommendations. Honestly the first episode where they call Sips in my mind is mandatory listening, it was a complete dumpster fire of a pilot and that's what makes it so genuinely hilarious. Others of note are I believe the 2nd or 3rd episode, 'Drugs and Zombies', all the Spooktacular/Spacktacular Halloween specials as well as their Simple Simon interview with Bill Bailey, if you like any of those really do give them a listen.

Horror movies - Now, I already have an alt account dedicated specially to horror media, horror as an interest is not at all new to me, I've been drawing monsters back when I was using crayons, it's always been my favourite genre and I'll try to keeo this brief or I'll be rambling for days. This year I decided to start buying physical and collectors editions/Blu Rays of horror movies which eventually spurred me into branching out and actually watching some new movies, and by new I mean at least 3 decades old, but new to me. Specifically I wanted to seek out absolute garbage, and while garbage I often found there was the occasional gem, and those are:

Motel Hell - Horror comedy starring Rory Calhoun as Farmer Vincent, known all around the USA for his smoked meats, you get where this is going. It is bizarre, it is somehow stranger than Texas Chainsaw, and like Texas Chainsaw 2 ALSO ends with a chainsaw dual between a sheriff and a pig-coded, skin-mask wearing cannibal.

Ghostwatch - NOT a trash movie but easily one of the most effective pieces of, at the time, interactive horror and ghost media, the less spoiled the better. It was produced by the BBC and starred a lot of 90's BBC alum with the framing of a Halloween ghost hunt that, at the time, aired live to the entire UK, this as I'm told was sorta like our War of the Worlds broadcast.

So, yeah, I hope this terrifying dive into the psyche of a man easily pleased by deli meat and giant robots/trashy horror movies/buff women has given you some ideas and maybe the perspective to look at the little things you enjoy in life and to keep on enjoying them, I'd genuinely like to hear any recommendations of your own, as I said I'm always looking for more to get into, hoping everyone has an easier time of next year and happy holidays to you all.

[nolanhattrick]

Why is Joey's ankle sprain the worst case scenario? Week to week is good I thought

typically, w/ athletes that require a lot of ankle movement (basketball is where i saw most of my ankle injuries) week to week is a good sign. and if we can trust what leafs pr staff are saying (which, if you know me... I Do Not), then his sprain isn't worse than a grade two.

skates are designed the way they're designed for a reason. ankle support is a necessity so you can skate safely. that's why if you watch this video, OP is getting their shit rocked in the comments for wrapping their laces around their ankle - it creates the illusion of stability while actually destroying the integrity of the boot & setting them up for injury.

i have concerns that ayotte and bean and theodoropolous are going to either sign off on him getting back to on-ice activities too early - not even playing just fucking practice - or that woller himself will push too hard the second he's cleared out of a misplaced sense of obligation and he's going to resprain and it will be worse.

if you don't know, high ankle sprains are much worse than your average "i stepped down off the curb and fucked my foot up". high ankle sprains have an at minimum six to eight week heal time, often with the demand of no weight and zero movement for the first two. it can cause a rotational or shearing fracture at the end of the tibia/fibula where the ligaments insert, which was why he got the MRI yesterday. they had to know what they were working with to make sure he wasn't out for the season vs just out "week to week" (it's going to end up being at least a month. prepare for two.) they also sometimes require surgery and plating if there is a fracture involved, mostly because of where the break is. they have to make sure the bones of your leg stay where they're supposed to be.

because there isn't a lot of blood supply to ligament tissue, it's really hard for ligaments to heal. and because i don't have access to woller's mri results or ayotte's/bean's/theodoropolous' brains, i have no idea what they're planning on doing for a rest and rehab plan, if there's an incomplete tear, if it's grade one or grade two. i could keep going.

back to the ankle support skates thing - woller isn't skating miles every single night, but much of his job relies on his flexibility, ability to change direction quickly, ability to quite literally fold in on himself at a moment's notice. his ankles have to be stable AND flexible. that is not possible with any amount of leftover inflammation or injury.

woller is the entire leafs team. as much as i love willy and mo and mitch and everyone else. woller is the entire leafs team. keefe knows this. keefe is not a doctor. keefe has pushed them to the point of exhaustion a couple times this season. the only reason practice was cancelled after mo's 35+ minute game was because he literally could not get out of bed the next day. i don't know if i trust keefe's judgement when woller does come back. i just... i don't have a good feeling about it.

once you fuck up a joint, especially the ankle, especially where woller hurt his, it's fucked up for the rest of your life. he is very likely to do this again at least twice. maybe not during his career. maybe when he's retired. maybe during an offseason. but again - you guys see the shit he does in the net. he acts like he doesn't have any fucking bones. he runs around like he's a puppet on strings. like he's a fucking video game character. he does not treat his body kindly when he plays. i don't know what he does to cool down or warm up or whatever, but he treats his body poorly during games. this was inevitable. and i am scared for what happens during his recovery.

i do not give a fuck if we end this season 32 in the league. i do not care if we use marlies goalies for the rest of the season. all i need is leafs staff to listen to me when i tell them to let joseph woll recover at home for as long as he needs for his ankle to be at 100%, because if they don't, it will not be good for him.

[vcshstampede]

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE.

name: "Vash!"

eye color: "A sky blue, I guess??"

hair style/color: "It's sort of all over the place, but blond!"

height: "Etto.... I haven't measured myself in a while...? I-I'm not sure, but I do know I haven't gotten any taller! I'll take a guess. Let's see.... I'll say..... 5'9"!"

clothing style: "I love my red long-coat! It's very distinguished, hehe. Oh but, let's see what else... I guess I just wear regular pants, & boots too? My glove as well. Heat doesn't bother me too much."

best physical feature: "Aaah you're gonna make me all shy! Etto.... I don't know ahaha! I've never been asked this before.... Today I'll pick, my smile!"

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE.

your fears: "Nai."

your guilty pleasure: "So you're asking what I enjoy that I think others would shun me for, huh? Etto..... let's see..... mmmn I guess I like Worms more than the average human would? Er I mean, that I find them fascinating! Even the bigger ones, though they're kinda frightening, I just wanna, learn more about them too."

your ambitions for the future: "I don't really plan that far ahead ahahaha.... etto... let's see... I just want to live my life! & Enjoy it with the ones I cherish. So I guess, travelling and meeting new people??"

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS.

your first thoughts waking up: "I should stretch and have some water."

what you think about most: "Ahaha, that's very, etto, private you know? It's, a lot of different things! For now, I'll pick.... Nai."

what you think about before bed: "I hope I won't have any nightmares."

what you think your best quality is: "Eeeh this is an interesting question! Etto.... I guess it's my ability to.... hmmm.... actually, I don't know how to answer this ahaha.... sorry!!"

WHAT’S BETTER?

single or group dates: "Eeeeh a date huh? Ahaahaha~ Um! Let's see..... I-I dunno! I've never thought about that before~."

to be loved or respected: "Both."

beauty or brains: "A soul~."

dogs or cats: "I can't choose they're both so great... oh I know! Worms!"

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU…

lie: "Etto.... yeah.... I mean I think everyone does, to certain extents. I try my absolute best not to but sometimes little white lies have to be told. You know?"

believe in yourself: "I try my best."

believe in love: "1000%, I'll always believe in love. It's the greatest source of power there is out there!!"

want someone: "I want people to be happy."

LAYER SIX: EVER BEEN…

been on stage: "An actual stage? Etto... I guess! In a manner of speaking."

done drugs: "Oh I've taken medicine before yes."

changed who you were to fit in: "In subtle ways, yes."

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES.

favorite color: "Green!"

favorite animal: "Worms!"

favorite movie: "I used to make little movies with Nai when we were kids, do those count?"

favorite game: "Hide and seek, or tag!"

LAYER EIGHT: AGE.

day your next birthday will be: "Ahahaha, I actually don't remember my own birthday! Sorry! I don't really see a need to celebrate it anymore, you see? It's just another day, to me!" 

how old will you be: "Old, hehe, surprised?"

age you lost your virginity: "Huh?! Ahahahaha, never! No! Sorry! Next, please!!"

does age matter: "For what?"

LAYER NINE: IN A PERSON.

best personality: "Etto, I guess that depends.... I like a lot of different people for a lot of different reasons. For now, I'll say... determination!"

best eye color: "It's hard to choose, I guess I'll say... blue!"

best hair color: "Hair colour??? Etto... I don't really keep track... most people have brown hair, right? So I'll say that!"

best thing to do with a partner: "Smile."

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE.

i love: "humanity."

i feel: "like going for a run!”

i hide: "until things calm down."

i miss: "Rem."

i wish: "I could have stopped things before it got so bad."

[lilyeon]

50+ Light Novels Celebration: An Overview Of The Shite I've Read Thus Far

I've read a few novels in the past few weeks. 53, to be precise, including the ones I picked up before I started really devouring them in July. With my 50th entry in My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer, I figured I could make a list of everything thus far, grouped into a few general categories. This is that list! I might turn this into a full page on this blog at some point, but for now it's a post.

Let's dive in!

Recommendation Tier [12]

These are novels I'd actively recommend people read. This category is further split up into different sub-categories for the lols, but it's the only one like that. These are all pretty good! Probably the thing to note is that these are according to my tastes, which are pretty niche compared to the average LN enjoyer, I'd bet.

Recommendation Tier: Must-Read [1]

Goodbye Otherworld, See You Tomorrow

Recommendation Tier: Absolutely Batshit (/positive)

A Wild Last Boss Appeared!

Recommendation Tier: Fantasies About Being a Competent Adult Doing Honest, Meaningful Work (And Finding Romance)

Housekeeping Mage in Another World

Dahlia in Bloom: Crafting a Fresh Start with Magical Tools

The Saint's Magic Power is Omnipotent

Recommendation Tier: Competent Protagonists Facing Challenges and Adventures

My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer

Accomplishments of the Duke's Daughter

Secrets of the Silent Witch

Recommendation Tier: Overpowered Teens From Another World Are Kind To Others and Make Family

Making Magic: The Sweet Life of a Witch Who Knows an Infinite MP Loophole

Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear

Recommendation Tier: Enemies To Lovers

The Apothecary Witch Turned Divorce Agent

The Disowned Queen’s Consulting Detective Agency

Pretty Good, But Not Like The Above (Or There's Some Asterisks) Tier [11]

I like to think I have category names that describe their contents. These novels were all pretty good or outstanding, but there's something about them that makes me hesitate to recommend them (i.e, rampant transphobia or a romance that fails to stick the landing the way I want, or some other hesitation). These are all just ordered alphabetically from now on, by the way. Too lazy to actually come up with a coherent quality ordering.

7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy?

A Lily Blooms in Another World

Banished From the Hero's Party, I Decided to Live a Quiet Life in the Countryside

Did I Seriously Just Get Reincarnated as My Gag Character!?

Hello, I Am a Witch and my Crush Wants Me to Make a Love Potion

ROLL OVER AND DIE: I Will Fight for an Ordinary Life with My Love and Cursed Sword!

Sexiled: My Sexist Party Leader Kicked Me Out, So I Teamed Up With a Mythical Sorceress!

She Professed Herself Pupil of the Wise Man

The Sorcerer's Receptionist

The Weakest Tamer Began a Journey to Pick Up Trash

The White Cat's Revenge as Plotted From the Dragon King's Lap

Anime Nonsense Tier [13]

These are alright. I didn't hate them, but they sure were books I read. Some of these are better than others -- Bofuri is a standout -- but I can't justify putting them in the same tier as ROLL OVER AND DIE so they go here. Honestly Bofuri's mainly here because the MMO world makes me mad every time I think about it.

A Royal Rebound: Forget My Ex-Fiancé, I'm Being Pampered by the Prince!

Bofuri: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense

Didn't I Say to Make My Abilities Average in the Next Life!?

The Dragon's Soulmate is a Mushroom Princess

The Drab Princess, the Black Cat, and the Satisfying Break-Up

Forget Being the Villainess, I Want to Be An Adventurer!

Hazure Skill: The Guild Member with a Worthless Skill Is Actually a Legendary Assassin

In the Land of Leadale

Loner Life in Another World

A Tale of the Secret Saint

The Emperor’s Lady-in-Waiting Is Wanted as a Bride

The Invisible Wallflower Marries an Upstart Aristocrat After Getting Dumped for Her Sister!

Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss but I'm Not the Demon Lord

This Shit Sucked Tier [12]

This shit sucked -- for one reason or another, I either didn't like it when I finished it, or I dropped it outright. I don't drop stuff easily, but some of this stuff just had me so fed up with everything that I can't muster the energy to go back to them.

As a Reincarnated Aristocrat, I'll Use My Appraisal Skill to Rise in the World

Cross-Dressing Villainess Cecilia Sylvie

Can Someone Please Explain What's Going On?!

The Eccentric Master and the Fake Lover

I Refuse to Be Your Enemy!

I Surrendered My Sword for a New Life as a Mage

I Shall Survive Using Potions

Prison Life is Easy for a Villainess

Saving 80,000 Gold in Another World for my Retirement

Saint? No! I'm Just a Passing Beast Tamer

The Reincarnated Villainess Won't Seek Revenge

The Strongest Knight is Actually a Cross-Dressing Noblewoman!?

Oh Dear Lord, What The Fuck Tier [5]

This is the category for the novels worse than those in the This Shit Sucked tier. There's only 5, but each of these had some nonsense in it where I probably yelled in my GC and/or tweeted about it and/or wrote scathing reviews of it in my reviews post. I don't often drop a series in the middle of a book, but these are the exceptions.

The 100th Time's the Charm: She Was Executed 99 Times, so How Did She Unlock "Super Love" Mode?!

The Abandoned Heiress Gets Rich with Alchemy and Scores an Enemy General

The Alchemist who Survived Now Dreams of a Quiet City Life

The Do-Over Damsel Conquers the Dragon Emperor

The Werewolf Count and the Trickster Tailor

[asha-mage]

My Top Ten Lists, and GOTY awards for 2022!

As typical I paid no attention to release date or year, only using the condition of 'did I finish this game this year', and judgeing games both as best I could both on how much I liked them, and how successful they where at being the game they where trying to be. I also didn't count any of my 'forever games' i.e games that I play more or less regularly year-to-year, such as FFXIV, and the Sims.

Also, blanket spoiler warning. (I don't get to deep into anything, but their are some references that might spoiler elements of some the plot heavier games).

10) Monster Prom

I played fewer games on average this year then I did in years past (only 12), which maybe explains the place of Monster Prom in the tenth spot. Not that it's a bad game: it's incredibly fun, queer, and wild ride, with a surprising amount to say about growing up, and that time in your life when your wild and unafraid and free.

That said though, it is a multiplayer game that I only ever played in single player, and it only hooked me long enough to get the Oz/Damon ending before I put it down and left it down for the remainder of the year. If I had managed to get one more in under the wire, before year's end, it would probably would have gone in this spot (unless said hyopthethical game was a real stinker, but I very rarely finish real stinkers).

9) Crusader Kings 3: Royal Court/Fate of Iberia

Man does this expansion rule. Crusader Kings in general still rules, and I've played a truly sickening amount CK3 just in general. Normally I would count CK3 as one of my 'forever' games, that I play non stop, but I actually have found myself playing CK3 in fits and starts recently: huge bursts when new DLC drops, and when I get a history hankering, but otherwise not very often.

That said the time I do spend with it rocks. I have made so many attempts at unifying the Iberian Peninsula at this point, some successful, some far less so. And I love seeing my monarch in his court, projecting power and presiding over the realm. Both Royal Court and Fate of Iberia fit perfectly into my gameplay, and their exact kinda of DLC I love from Paradox: the kinda that once experienced I can't imagine the game without.

I also really want to give a huge shout out for the amount of customization regarding gender, sexuality, and historical accuracy the game added this year. It's a small thing, but it made my brain so incredibly happy to see my character with his husband seated beside him, together presiding over the realm. (Until said husband unexpectedly inherited the Duchy of Aquitaine and had to tragically leave my court, causing my king to succumb to whore mongering and lechery to soothe his broken heart, which was Very Sad and also exactly the kind of shit I live for in this game).

8) Marvel Snap (Best Multiplayer)

This one was a real surprise. I don't play card games, I don't play mobile card games, and I've been fairly sour on Marvel for a while now.

And yet.

Man is Marvel Snap good. Addiction good. Possibly going to be a forever game next year good. Barely spend money on it and yet still enjoy it a mind numbing amount good. Time will tell on this one, but given the sheer number of hours I've put into it, the sheer joy I get from it despite normally hating games like this and how excellently designed it is, it's very much earned this spot.

7) Cult of the Lamb

This one was also a surprise for me, but less so in that it was out of genre, and more that I didn't know this game existed until after it had dropped and everyone on various podcasts I follow was listening to it. Their is something so delightful about both it's creepy cute aesthetic, and it's game play which is a mix of rouge like action and Animal Crossing villager management which makes it unique, memorable, and fun.

My biggest problem is really the combat. The lack of ability to pick weapons ahead of crusades, the way action can get very finicky and jumpy even in boss fights attacks hitting that shouldn't, and not hitting that should, is what kept this from beating out Elden Ring. On the Cult management side, while I really enjoyed all the effort and thought put into what it would take to actually run and keep a cult following, and the way you could pick doctrines of faith....I ultimately don't know that their was enough 'flavor' to make each cult feel really unique and customizable, and that held it back, if only a little. I'll probably dip back in to the update next year, when I have more time.

6) Elden Ring

Put down those pitchforks this instant.

Look. I really liked Elden Ring. It's a great game! Well constructed from start to finish, with a killer aesthetic, and a story that's even for Fromsoftwear, marginally understandable. It's open world is good enough that I, who generally hate open world games, can appreciate both it's beauty, and it's scope. It's also one of the few games that really, truly made me feel like I was an adventuring mage, wandering about in search of ancient secrets of magic.

But.

It's still not a very good Soulslike. It's combat is arbitrary and unfair in a way Demon's Souls and Bloodborne's where not (hell that Fallen Order and SoP's where not!), only the legacy dungeons really have the murderous puzzle box feel, and many of the bosses break the mold of Souls bosses up to this point, and not in a good way.

Their is a version of this game on another timeline that is NOT an Open World and so is much higher on this list. But alas, we live in the Open World Timeline, where giant empty games lacking in structure and narrative are the dominant force in games, and where good games will be diminished by having open world forced into them when they don't need it. So in the back half of my list, Elden Ring will remain.

5) Potion Permit

Oh MAN was this game good.

Every loving detail in this game was delightful: from the way the entire town starts out hating your guts, to the actual effort that goes into collecting ingredients and mixing potions, to the way you slowly build up trust and affection not just by handing out gifts, but by showing you can do your job in all it's aspects: making your patients feel heard, their care feel personal, and the actual healing timely.

Also the carpenter man was cute, and dating him was amazing.

I hope this trend of Stardew Valley like games that explore non-farming elements continues. And I hope it is full of many kissable men.

4) Omori (Best Art Direction)

Omori is a game I've been meaning to play for basically forever, but that I kept waiting for the Switch version to enjoy. And I am very happy with that choice.

This game is SO incredibly good. The sad narrative of a boy who flees into a dreamworld called Headspace in order to escape his loneliness and trauma, it's full of poignant messages about repression, self hatred, isolation, and ultimately forgiveness.

The truly crazy part is that their are two games here. The wacky charming Headspace adventurers which have all the classic trappings of JRPG: leveling up, turn based combat, exploration around madcap world full of bizarre colorful characters and off beat humor. And then you have the softer more realistic adventure game, drenched in Americana, from the same-y suburbs to the quirky pizza place, to the sprawling mega mart, where most of your time is spent not fighting but solving puzzles, and talking to characters to learn their weird stuff.

And when the two intersect, real world crashing into fantasy? That's where you get the game's tripy, mind fuck psychological horror. Omori shines brightest in Dark Space, when it delves into the twisted flip side of escapism, and digs under the skin of it's protagonist to show off his messy fears and his hidden darkness.

This game hit home, and it hit home hard.

3) Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes (Best Soundtrack)

As we get into my top three, we are entering the set of games that came out this year that seemed made for Me Specifically.

Of those Three Hopes was the biggest surprise. I never really imagine a....well whatever Three Hopes is to Three Houses (sequel? alternate universe story? retelling? spinoff? let's go with spinoff). Especially not a Musou style army shredder. And yet now I can't imagine playing either the fandom or the story itself without the added layer of context and story provided by Three Hopes.

Three Hopes adds so much content is the thing, you can actually feel the cuts from Three Houses that where re-worked here (Ferdinand and Ashe's extra scenes and supports in particular), and it adds so much depth too, to Byleth, to the world, to the dynamics between characters and factions. Their is an element of shinny wish fulfillment to it, and yet I can't fault the game for that. Afterall, they paid their dues to tragedy, and the costs and downsides of war in the first game. Here, things work out, and the headsman is escaped. The Lord of your choosing reshapes the world to their ideal, and everything works out, and the writing is so good that I don't really mind.

Also the OST slaps SO FUCKING HARD. They could have just repackaged the 3 Houses ost and I am SO GLAD that they did not. Still humming songs from this even months later.

2) Stranger of Paradise (Best Gameplay)

Stranger of Paradise was announced to loud mockery by basically everyone, and intense anticipation by me. I stood by the game's potential then, and I stand by it now.

This is such a smart game, and also such an earnest one. It knows exactly what it is and refuses to be ashamed of that. Instead it leans full body into it's buck wild story, it's over the top combat, and it's dark aesthetic. And the result is a weird alchemy that is incredibly fun to play, moment to moment.

If, like me, you have what amounts to a Master's Degree in obscure Final Fantasy lore, you will be delighted by both the subtle references peppered throughout the levels, and the deeper story, about the clash between the Lufenian's, god-like beings of near total power that they are, and the Strangers, defectors who have learned to love and see value in the world they where sent to control.

If you don't....then I recommend just sitting back and enjoying watching the monsters explode into bloody crystal. You will still have a rocking good time. Unless you think cringe in a real thing, then you might have less of a fun time.

1) Triangle Strategy (GOTY/Best Narrative)

Back near the beginning of the year, when I got Triangle Strategy's Golden Ending, after getting the other three, and clocking in more then a hundred and thirty hours in the game, I cried. The game's ending felt pitch perfect, the smooth flawless landing after seamless ride. I came out of the experience with a clear front runner for my personal GOTY, something that held up for most of the year even I played other really good games.

But as we closed on the tale end of the year I started to doubt my own impression, wondering if Triangle Strategy really had left that large of a mark on me, or if I had just been caught up in the hype cycle and recency bias.

And the trailer for the steam version came out and I started crying just from that so no. Not recency bias or hype.

Triangle Strategy is so incredibly good. Everything it attempts it scores a perfect ten on: it's characters are engaging and fun while still having depth and nuance, complexity and foibles. It's visual design is stunning and eye catching. It's combat and tatical elements are challenging puzzles, requiring careful planning and mastery of the game's systems.

But most of all it's story is flawless.

This game has so much to say about how our beliefs define us, and shape our world views. About the struggle for a future, and the difference been compromise and concession. About oppression, and faith, justice and law, the burden of leadership, and the power of conviction. It's exactly the story of high fantasy I love: mixing politics and magic, war and mythology, but keeping itself always centered on the human element of it's characters and their stories.

It is very, very close to a perfect game, and it makes me incredibly excited to see Octopath Traveler 2 next year.