#dont read this because this ended up being me venting

[rouge-the-bat]

i am. SO fucking tired of ppl trying to make "problematic" fiction out to being the same fucking thing as shit me and other csa survivors have gone through. how do yall not realize how fucking disrespectful it is to have our trauma watered down to be equal to some shit thats literally not even real ????? THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING, ONE HAS AN ACTIVE REAL ABUSER AND REAL VICTIM, ONE IS A FAKE STORY ABOUT FAKE PEOPLE.

[martyrbat]

👍👍

[lilac-melody]

😶‍🌫️hm.

[celestialmancer]

⛈️ //

[snekdood]

like i really dont think ya understand the severity of the abuse- even aside from the sexual abuse-

i have bpd and come from a home where im not validated very well (obviously, bc thats what makes ppl bpd in the first place). i meet this person who validates me in every way i could possibly imagine or want (love bombing). they pretend to like me so much that they start to become like me and pick up traits of mine they like the most. they know they have a hold over me and power over me bc i didnt know how to validate myself and they were the only source of validation i had. so then they go ahead and start invalidating me and acting like im less of me and theyre somehow more of me. i knew who i was deep down but suddenly i felt unseen again and silenced and pushed into a corner. and then they act like im a horrible person (discarding phase) and serve me an entirely different version of me thats not who i am, but bc i didnt know how to validate myself and was reliant on them (something thats particularly important for this type of abuse to work), it made me question myself and who i was and what i was like and what my intentions were and what my actions were and if i could even trust my own reality all over again when i really didn’t fucking need to since i knew who i was deep down, but they somehow convinced me they knew me better. because i was reliant on them. i dont think you understand how much that fucks with you.

[httpsghostie]

Under one Roof pt 1

pt 2

OK finally IT'S HERE

smh I'm down bad for roommate ghost I am sobbing

my hand is literally burning I wrote this aT COLLEGE

and YES my love language is food pls dont come for me

Summary: you never knew you needed a military roommate until you've got one.

Word Count: 1k (sorry it's short

Warnings: roommate!ghost x female!reader, slightly suggestive (if you squint), mentions of trauma, fluff/comfort, no use of y/n

masterlist

Ghost was an old friend of a friend of yours, and he happened to be needing a place to stay for a while, that ended up being a few more months, and now it's currently been a year since he moved in. He doesn't plan on leaving, you know it, you know that despite the independent man that he is, he likes having someone to come home to.

He was cold at first, so cold. And for many nights you cursed yourself for letting that rock of a heart get into your sweet home. He wouldn't talk much when he was there, you'd almost forget he was around if it wasn't for random coughs or sneezes.

That man smoked like a chimney in the first days he's spent around, he was anxious and that wasn't very cute, he was always smelling like cigarettes, but thankfully he didn't smoke inside.

He appreciated your effort on cooking for the two of you, but you couldn't help it. How could he survive when he wasn't eating properly? Yes, frozen pizza is cool… until it's the third day in a row that you're eating frozen and instant food and you can barely stand.

He also had a fucked up sleeping schedule that you just went along with it, you once got scared when you walked in the kitchen and found him just laying on the wall, eyes closed and snoring slightly. That day you scolded him to go back to his room and made him lay down on the bed.

"You're gonna lay down on this bed and you're gonna have some nice hours of sleep, alright? I'm gonna leave the door open, if I see you awake I'm punching you." You sounded like a mother, almost, and he was so tired he couldn't fight back.

And the days went by, he'd go away, he'd come back as tired as he left. But at least he was slowly opening up to be a really cool guy. You two started to bond, and the more he talked, the more you wanted to spend time with him.

Oh and don't even get started on dad jokes, he's cracking them up whenever he's helping with house chores, or when you two are eating peacefully.

He became a friend, a very good friend, one that wouldn't mind you venting out to, plus he was a good listener. He'd just sit there listening to whatever haze your brain was going through, and slowly he learned that he shouldn't be giving you reasonable ways to solve your problems, he should just tell you it would be ok.

And you found yourself slowly falling for him. Of course destiny had to put you together. Only if it wasn't for the way he handled things around the house.

"Oh, the living room lamp broke? Let me fix it."

"Those boxes are heavy, hand them to me."

"Go find a movie for us to watch, I'll do the dishes. Find a good one, though."

"Goddamnit, I told you not to be climbing on that fucking balcony, you're not a cat, you're gonna hurt yourself one day." Said as he picked you up when you were trying to reach the top of the cabinet. "Just ask me, I can reach it without putting myself in danger."

Or maybe if it wasn't for the fact that he'd purposefully get out of the shower with that pretty little towel wrapped around his body, that made you clench your fists. The way he was still a bit wet, a few drops running down his abs. He was surprisingly cool with his scars around you, maybe because you didn't make a big deal out of it.

That's because it wasn't. You expected that when Gaz, your friend, told you that the friend he was sending to you was his 'work buddy'. And he phrased it exactly like that. 

"Don't mind him, he's big and scary, but he'll be a good roommate, I promise, he's my work buddy." You chuckled when you read the text.

And yet Ghost didn't mind the stare of admiration coming from your burning gaze across the living room, when you thought the most ungodly things a brain has seen.

He started to become more and more warm, he found safe with you, like you could actually be his home. One night, he found a deep conection with you when you were casually drinking together, sat by the coffee table, playing video games. 

She should know the truth about me.

He thought. And that was the night he dropped his heavy armor. He told you the bare surface of his past, even though most of it had been blocked from his memory, like a dark spot he couldn't remember, and would die without trying to take a peak at it.

You cried, and he couldn't understand why you were crying until you said it wasn't his fault.

"It's not your fault, you didn't deserve any of this." You sobbed, hugging him close.

He broke down. Like he needed someone to reassure him that he wasn't the villain from his past. He realized what you meant to him, and he swore to God he would try his best to come home to you when he had to work.

Some days were strange after that, like he regretted telling you about his story. He had that feeling in his gut that you weren't looking at him the same way, like you were pity. He didn't want your pity, he hated that look on your face.

But that changed.

He had come home one day, texting you while he was at the airport waiting for a ride. You ran to get groceries and make him a good meal, but the only thing that came to your mind was the old recipe of lasagna you kept from your grannie.

That old lady, always saving your life.

[gorgeouslypink]

hey guys! in my previous post, i said that if you needed to vent, you could do so in my asks and I read every single one of the asks and to be honest, I was so teary eyed. everyone's stories were so heartbreaking and their feelings were so raw and genuine and honestly, it reminded me a lot of my old situation and how much i struggled and it made me want to do something, which is why I'm making this post.

this is going to be a 3 day challenge to improve your void concept so you can really get into the void! read through it and modify it how it best suits you. also, a lot of this was taken from my anon's success stories so trust me, you will succeed.

day 1: choose a subliminal for the void state and you're going to listen to it as much as you can for the entire day. a lot of my anons succeeded with this one, this one, and this one and if you're in a position where you just can't listen to any sounds, use this silent field. if you just can't listen to subliminals, then do this exercise how many ever times you want. (yes, you can do the exercise and listen to subliminals).

basically take this day as a subconcious repgramming day, don't worry about anything else. try staying off tumblr and just doing fun stuff and if you really are addicted to tumblr/void, then read all my proof portfolio links. but basically all you're doing this day is letting the affirmations sink into your brain so that your subconcious beliefs are aligned with the 3d you are trying to create.

that night, i want you to do this shifting hypnosis video (no you wont shift if you dont want to) and basically after she finishes talking, affirm your void concept affirmations (the void is easy, i always wake up in the void, etc ) over and over. you might actually end up entering the void or waking up in the void from this alone but even not, it takes you a pretty deep meditative state where you can really reprogram your subconcious mind.

day 2: this day you're going to be repeating day 1's activities except instead of the shifting hypnosis (unless you really ended up liking it), anytime you want, you're going to do this instant manifestation portal meditation, because it just feels so good and works so well so honestly, don't be shocked if you end up waking up in the void this day.

day 3: this day repeat whatever it is that made you feel good from the 2 previous days and then that night, do this parallel reality meditation. it's basically just a meditation to put you into your ideal state but they worded it as shifting to a parallel reality in which you exist as your ideal state but yeah, it's just a powerful tool to help you enter a state of having your ideal void concept and always entering the void easily. honestly if you don't want to do the entire challenge but want just one powerful thing to do, i recommend this. just try it out and trust me, you won't regret it.

i feel like this challenge comes off as a lot but it's just because i explain too much. here's a simplified version:

day 1: listen to sub or do reprogramming exercise and then at night, do hypnosis video

day 2: listen to sub or do reprogramming exercise and then do instant manifestation portal mediation (yes you can do hypnosis video again if you want)

day 3: listen to sub or do reprogramming exercise and then do parallel reality meditation (basically meditation to enter ideal state)

anyways, don't be shocked if you commit to the challenge and end up not being able to finish it because you already entered the void before the 3 days are up and if you do successfully complete it, your void concept is going to be so good and you already know you're going to enter the void so easily.

i really hope all of you do this or atleast your own version of it and i really wish the best for everyone 💗

[antiendovents]

actually, since i already commented on your post about tulpas and how they pissed me off; im gonna do it again. in detail.

note: i am a former buddhist, i live in a buddhist country. (95% of thais are buddhists) and pretty much been surrounded by it. im asian. saying it before people jump at me because im terrified as shit

as i mentioned, tulpas are stolen and bastardized completely from a tribe of tibetan buddhists, and the practice itself isn't even a system thing. while thai buddhism and tibetan buddhism are different in their own way, i am very fucking pissed off that they just saw the concept of a thoughtform spirit that helps you meditate, overcome your fear and guide you to nirvana (because that's the main purpose of buddhism) and turn them into "oh! we make alters because we can due to our meditation and we're spiritual so that totally excuses using a generally closed practice! we're not harming anyone!" total bullshit.

i don't want (and sorry if i'm a bit mean) those bigoted fucks stealing basically my culture since im attached to buddhism in general, i grew up with it. and "tulpa systems" slapping it on themselves for the sake of being "unique". i have seen countless comments and posts about how its always the white/non asian people that say "no its not a closed practice, its not cultural appropriation :) actually you should be glad we're appreciating your culture in the first place" fuck off! appreciating culture is fine, but you bastardize it so much and dumb it down to just "making alters/imaginary friends" are you just hearing yourself? are you stupid? are you braindead? god, im getting so angry again.

i have also seen "tulpamancers" insulting actual asians like me who speak against tulpas, saying that we're just "asian token of a character" or that we're "closed minded" and should accept these assholes who dont know what theyre doing into my culture and blatantly disrespecting it, spitting on it and just taking one practice that fits their narrative. wow, talk about being appreciative while half of your community does shit like this to actual buddhists, huh? real nice of you. way to go, you cultural appropriating fucks. /vneg

i cannot count how many times asian culture is so whitewashed on the internet, people that just take our tradition and do whatever the hell they want with it, including making a system out of thoughtforms, which is not possible whatsoever. and for what? FOR WHAT? for your own sick entertainment and enjoyment of having a imaginary friend in your head? try dissociating so hard you cry yourself to sleep you absolute pillock. this is a very angry submission, but it just frustrates me so much. all of the insulting "yous" are directed towards "tulpamancers" that they proudly call themselves. by the way. sorry if it sounded like it was directed at you, im just so angry at the moment.

one last thing. Stop. Using. The Term. Tulpa. For your system. Please!!!!. tulpa systems are not a thing and will never be. End of story. Nothing will change that. Endos fuck off. im sick of your shit. thanks for reading my angry rant.

-azriel for the majority of this, rox/virus proofreading some of the parts, thanks for letting us vent ^^

i dont have much to add, please read this ^^

[the-light-hum-by-the-lonely-sun]

(cough cough everything here is my interpretation etc etc dont get mad at me)

The Mind Electric isn't really a diss track. I mean, it sort of is, but not really.

I think it would be far more applicable to call it a vent post. Mind, despite pretty much constantly trying to give off the impression that he is in control, kind of isn't ever, really? In Whole, he's left on the shelf, and during Cacophony he is the "Ruler of Everything", but doesn't really rule... anything?

Sure, he has a degree of control over Heart. To my understanding, he only has control of the Vessel through Heart. During Just Apathy, he tells Heart what to say, and Heart relays it through the Vessel's mouth. (Assuming that's why Mind is telling Heart to say things. It makes more sense than Mind 1984ing Heart.)

Even in his songs, he never gets anything across. Be Born is pretty much him pointing out Heart and Soul's faults, and neither of them listen. He immediately must cave to Soul's will during The Soul Eclectic, where Soul refers to himself as a "lord" over Heart and Mind.

He's also the one that most consistently brings up the issue of time. After Mucka Blucka, with the notable exceptions of The Bidding and Taken for a Ride, they largely don't acknowledge the Time Loop, with the exception of Mind. He brings that shit up constantly to the point where it's kind of funny? Look at his lines in TWW&Y.

But overall, he's real goddamn frustrated. He *is* actually decently logical, but emotions run over. The guy that shot him, textually his only friend, vilifies him (NOTE: i don't think Heart is unjustified in this. It's pretty reasonable. It's just not the point right now), everyone is ignoring him. He is 100% ready to combine throughout the majority of Cacophony. Like, it's just towards the end of STAAS and most of TME that he isn't.

So yeah! He got pissed! He started flinging petty insults because that's what he thinks Heart is doing. He's basically yelling, "FINE! If this is how you want to treat me, I'll do it too." It isn't even completely petty! Towards the ends, he clearly calms down. He's still bitter, but like. He closes it out by saying that Heart almost murdered him and plays victim, that he too is necessary, and that despite being harsh he wants the best for everyone.

Okay. Essay over. I might read over this later after I'm fully done with my total analysis, but I think this is pretty alright. Feel free to correct me on anything I got blatantly wrong. Again, I don't think Heart is completely in the wrong or anything, it's just. This is about Mind, lmao.

[lovebvni]

Pink Pick-A-Pile (from 08.28.2022)

LMFAOOA IDK WHY I USED THIS PICTURE!!

but before reading, please realize when i made this, i was in a My Hero Academia reality shifting community. Currently, I am no active there, so if you find these posts,,, yes they were me. LMFAOOAOAO and some of this blog has been edited for my sanity.

┈

│ᵒᵖᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ...

╰─────────────────

[ 🖊 ] created ⋮ 27.8.22

[  ] published ⋮  27.8.22

˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ Arsyn   ⋆  ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

┊       ⋆     welcome to my blog !

┊     °

hi lovelies!! changing what i did last time for a pick a pile, im going to be doing a more motivational one!

by no means does it mean im going to be all nice, im just going to praise you and all that you and all you’re doing. its just gonna be less about WHAT and more about HOW you can change it and also motivating you to do more/what other things you can do to help you shift faster (if you’re still working to your first attempt) or how you can positively change your shifting journey. also you guys know i can be kind of blunt and then the alice in wonderland tarot is BRUTAL but im using the White Numen deck this time (which honestly is my nsfw deck LFMAJSUHNTE BUT I WANT AN EXCUSE TO USE THEM FOR A PICK A PILE!!!)

breathe in...

and out...

now please, pick a pile or two

Pile 1

Hello pile 1 and welcome to your reading!!

confirmation for this pile: 1111, angel numbers, reunions, supernatural dr, stability, not changing ‘im not seeing results’, pisces, water signs, christmas/yule, holidays, “its just out my reach”, unstable perspectives, cows, animals, outdoors

cards: the hanged man, knight of cups (r), six of wands, ace of swords

not even gonna lie, at first i got 11 cards.., i shuffled the 11 i got to make this pile smaller so i dont drain myself during the first pile jaoishtioeh

this pile is in either a state of waiting or a state of wanting change. you’re waiting for it and you’re working on it but its almost tiring? maybe you’re loosing the hope, motivation, the fire under your ass because of this waiting. i just remember that one blog that said that sometimes shifting is like a waiting game, i feel like thats the place you guys are right now.

in the kindest way possible, your emotions are out of wack. i feel a lot of stress, anger, hurt and just instability in emotions. maybe doing shadow work, vent art, sharing your feelings, poetry, etc. dont avoid these feelings because once you confront them and move on with life, it will be much easier.

again with being creative and venting in a not natural (?) way, ace of swords and six of wands is kinda like a ‘yeah do this.’ a nod in the right direction. being creative and changing the way you develop and think about things will help you a lot. you got this babes! you’ll get the big change you want when you start thinking outside the box. dont do the things you always used to do, but change the way you approach them and how you look at things. glass half full not half empty.

thank you pile one! i hope this resonates!! 

Pile 2

hello pile 2! and welcome to your pile

heres confirmation:  burning bridges, coming to an end, breaking negative cycles, “i know how it is”, not trustworthy, being pissed off and arrogant, 555, spiritual connection (soulmates, twin flames, etc), 888,666, snakes

cards: Temperance, the hierophant (r), 10 of wands (r), the lovers

okay wow the first thing i have to say is so many major arcana cards - literally i thought the would ALL be major

this pile seems burnt out in a way (no pun intended based on the pile image) and you need to find a way to light your flame again. dont give up, and dont be scared to ask for help. if you’re struggling with spiritual beliefs/shifting/your journey PLEASE ask for help. dont cry in silence. break free from any cycle you’ve been in. cleanse your energy and the energies around you. break ties with people who aren’t helping you in any way. who are negative in your life. hold your ground and speak what you think and know is right. dont let someone else control and manipulate you in any way. be powerful, because you are. you’re in control.

with temperance and the lovers coming out i feel like this is almost why you’re shifting/what keeps moving you to shift. its moving into your god/goddess energy. being that powerful being you are. being assertive and knowing what is right for you. when you’re shifting/thinking about shifting/making an attempt remember why you started. remember your past self and who you want to be in the future, and who you want to surround yourself with. the people? are they different? know how to control and change the situation if you need it. you got this okay? you’ll see who you want to see and be who you want to be.

thank you pile 2! i hope this resonated

Pile 3

hi pile 3!! literally accidently typed 333 so anyways

confirmation: 333, childhood, hello kitty, red, actions speak louder than words but its more about the effect on you life rather than what they did, water, ocean, 555, penguins

cards: five of wands (r), three of pentacles (r), death (r), the chariot, five of wands

okay first things first we have 3 reversed cards and thats like kinda?? because pile 3, accidently typing 333 and three of pentacles?? but lets move on

you’re moving away from hardships and being stuck in your own head and coming to terms and being at peace with your cr/or. you’re letting go of the things that made it bad and accepting them as memories and just things to hold on to and never let go of. more about the people than what they did.

are your goals not written out pile 3 and your true intentions behind them? or are you just not working to them? you may know your goals and not work to them, are you burnt out? take a break then! take care of yourself. you guys are the stubborn time but you need to listen to me when i say TAKE A BREAK ITS FOR THE BETTER! you may even shift on your break. you need to take a moment and be still because it will actually boost you forwards in the long run. sometime taking breaks helps you move forward. being able to take time and relight your candle. this will lead you to a peaceful and good ending. you can see the shore and you’re about to pull up.

honestly five of wands seems out of place to me, i ask spirit to give me cards in a way thats comprehensive and makes sense with the cards near/around it. it represents rivalry, conflict in a way. maybe spirit is saying on this break fix your relationship with someone, stop fighting and going back and forth. hold your ground, agree to disagree, and let go. also shifting isnt a race or competition, so dont rush it or you can get thrown off course.

thank you pile 3! i hope this resonated

Pile 4

confirmation: water, water signs, oceans, harmony, boobies , feet?? IN WATER??, “the universe must have divined this” - dove cameron’s ‘boyfriend’, bo burnham, “i gotta get out of here”, deities, blue, white, red, AMERICA

cards: two of wands, four of cups, six of swords, three of cups

okay so something i noticed right off the bat is there is a LOT of water i mean even in a card that supposedly represents air signs, shes in a boat in the water. anyways you guys are PLANNING unlike the last pile, you guys have a set out plan, goals, and reasoning. now you have a decision to make, are you going to look to external sources or work with yourself? i was called to get an oracle card bc you guys are different.

I got two cards actually, a time to give rather than take, new moon in virgo and a time for healing balsmic moon. so these cards, surprisingly, are saying the same thing. a change is coming, it may seem like its slow but its coming. i promise, and it will be surprising when it happens.

back again to tarot, because i actually only got to one card(!!) you guys are reevaluating and reflecting, i feel like you have been for a while, thinking and dwelling on the things you can change, have changed, and how far you’ve come (NOT GOODBYE BY BO BURNHAM COMING ON IM DONE walks out door ok im back.. but anyways) stop romanizing everything and look at it in worse case scenario vs best case. the best case was already stated, now look at it as the worst thing that can happen. make that like the fuel for your flame and dont let it hold you back, let it drive you forward. this is where six of swords comes in, you ARE moving forward and you will keep moving forward the more you do. you will heal (ORACLE!!) and you are healing. six of swords can also be interpreted as an escape. maybe shifting is an escape for you?

for the last card, 3 of cups is all about harmony, friendships and community.

i know a lot of people (AND I MEAN A LOT OF PEOPLE) have left the MHA shifting community recently, but keep close to the ones you need/have made an impact on you. maybe they’re leaving/have left but yk what you do? ask around. search and find. it reminds me of a bible verse “ask and you shall gain” or something like that. keep close to those who help you, keep the positive in your life not the negative. keep friends close okay? and talk to them, dont let go.

okay pile 4!! thats it, hope this resonated and you have a great day! also little side note, throughout writing this pick a pile i saw the lovers. so that may be important to some of you. im not putting it in confirmation because if you get this far down that means something for you.

[tommykinard6]

Read your vent post and I agree. I ship Buddie and Bucktommy, and have been around fandom long enough to see how quickly toxic fandom people are louder than anything else and are trying to take over the spaces. It also doesnt help people dont always disclose information in the tags, which defeats the whole purpose of using ao3.

I love bucktommy and the potential healthy bi/queer representation the characters can give us. However, I'm also tired of trying to find Bucktommy fics only for it to end up being the "buck breaks up with him or cheats on him for eddie because he loves eddie more" or they turn Buck into some kind of invalid and completely ignoring the emotional growth he's had throughout the show. Or they just Buck using Tommy in general. Maybe Buck 1.0 would do that, but not post lightning Buck.

People can write whatever they want but Buck's character growth has been important to me since I started watching 911 and seeing people wreck a beautiful chance for Buck to grow into himself without the stakes of it being Eddie because Buddie goggles are glued on their eyes is exhausting. I'm a big supporter of DLDR so I usually just try to ignore most of it but it's taxing trying to filter through all the noise sometimes.

~ Anon 🌸

Anon, you’re so sweet and you make many good points.

For all writers and readers out there, use the tag system to your benefit. Tag your work appropriately. And if you’re deliberately not tagging correctly, then you shouldn’t be posting. Also, I’m decently sure that goes against some of ao3’s rules. Correct me if I’m wrong.

Buck’s character growth has been so beautiful and so much and I hate to see people throwing it down the drain. Eddie and Buck’s growth exist outside of each other as well as inside their bond.

DLDR for the win! (Don’t like don’t read for anyone who had to take a second to translate it like I did 🤣)

Again, I can’t say anything better than what you’ve already said, anon! You made great points and I think a lot of people can relate to your thoughts.

On a whole separate note, I’m considering making a fic rec list on here that’s full of solely BuckTommy fics (no cheating or placeholder Tommy or anything) but it’d be a lot to maintain. Would anyone want that?

[ash-azzzz]

Rating Hazbin Hotel Ships

!!! THIS IS MY OPINION !!!

Huskerdust : 100/10 absolutely love. i rlly think angel could use someone who is good to him and for him. I rlly like the idea that they'll be super sweet and not rush into anything. I rlly hope husk has a part in freeing angel from vals control if that even happens later in the show!

radiohusk : -1000/10 i rlly dont like alastor ships (for more info on why read last post.) if its platonic then sure but romantic -or god forbin sexual- no.

radiodust : -1010/10 i like this one even less. we know alastor has no interes in anyone, let alone angel (as shown in episode one angel talks about filming him and al going at it as the hotel ad and al laughs and says it'll never happen)

radiostatic : -1,000,000/10 it would be so one sided like omgg. like vox obsessed with al and al being repulsed by him. that is a horrible relationship for voxs mental health.

radioapple : 0/10 could be worse. i get people like enemies to lovers but brah they arent lovers and never will be. like platonic divorsed dads for charlie is fine but people writing about/drawing them going at it like rabbits is just 😬🫣

adams apple : 4/10 not my fav but i can def see where people are coming from. Like in the fight when luci says "im gonna fuck you" he totally could have ment that as "i got both your wives and now i want you." if adam is even in season 2 (tries to get redemed after he died ends up in hell) i wouldnt be too horribly surprised if they end up having a fling or a possible relationship of some kind. still suprised but not too bad

appledust : 3/10 i like them platonically. like they gossip abt the guys/girls they like, talk shit abt val and alastor, vent to each other, cry together, laugh together, and try and get one another with who ever they want (i.e angel w/ husk and luci w/ whoever he might want so like adam if a fling does happen)

chaggie : 10/10 i LOVE them i just want them to have more flavor. i need their relationship to get fleshed out more. like we had one little fight and a sweet like 1 min song. I WANT MORE from the only lesbian couple in that damn show.

sir pen x cherri : 7/10 i love the dynamic despite how little of it we got in the show. like hes hopeless and she that bitch. i rlly hope cherri ends up trying to redeem herself to meet pen in heaven.

cherri x angel : 2/10 platonic is cool but romantic jusy doesnt seem right to me since angel is gay. i honestly dont know how i feel abt their friendship long term because cherri doesnt seem like too great of an influence on him.

adam x lute : 4/10 probably just one sided as fuck. like no way lute didnt have feelings for adam. he made her and she was his favorite ofc she was going to fall in love but i dont think he liked her back man.

lucifer x lilith : 2/10. all im sayin is they divorsed for a reason :/

LMK IF I MISSED ANY ^_^

[sukunasweetheart]

//just me venting about sukuna haters sorry

Not me seeing so much discourse about whether sukuna is a well written villain or not... he essentially has no backstory shown as of yet and we barely know anything about him but he is still one of the most naturally interesting and compelling characters in the whole damn series bro 💀 buckle up bc its about to get lengthy (im just glazing sukuna in this post ngl so 🧎‍♀️)

so many whiny ass mfs are weeping about how he "doesn't have any personal goals or a proper reason to be a villain" when that is the whole point???? He lives on his own desires and satisfactions and does whatever he wants to, because he is capable enough to do that. Mfs want "real villains" but cant even handle sukuna 💀 ive seen too many shit ass threads and poorly articulated "critiques" on his character that dont make any valid points. If you can't even separate your personal dislike of a character from your analysis of their writing, dont even bother posting that shit please 😭😭😭 the fact that we haven't even gotten any information about his background yet and people are jumping the gun about him being "poorly written" is already saying a lot 🤨

The fact that yall are so bitter and angry about him that you can write 500+ words about how oh-so-terrible of a villain he is kinda proves that he's doing his job well tbh 💁‍♀️

What also bothers me to no END is how people compare him with villains of other series, who had compelling sob stories that made people empathise with them. Thats nice and all but why should all villains have grand ideals and be subject to feelings of empathy/sympathy from their audience?

Part of what makes sukuna so interesting is how he's not tied down by morals, rules or long term goals in life. He doesn't limit himself, which is what makes him an unpredictable character. He's completely left behind what it means to be human in many ways, and he's clearly not a character written to be empathised with. He is very purposefully inhumane and distant from everyone else, and that feeling transcends from within the series to real life as well. There is a clear lack of understanding bc most of us can't comprehend what its like to just live without being goal-oriented.

Sukuna is a true anomaly in the sense that he doesnt really fit in any kind of box within the series. He's born from man, but its clear that he separates himself from humans (and nobody else considers him human, either). He's not a cursed spirit. He hovers between life and death. The narrator referred to him as the honoured one, whilst angel referred to him as the disgraced one.

These little contradictions in his character make him all the more complicated and interesting to think about. And even recently, he's been shown to waver a little bit momentarily in the manga, questioning his own irritation at yuuji. He's capable of self reflection, and though sukuna does whatever he wants for the most part, he doesn't blindly go into things without some thought first, he's a constant thinker and analyser, and an intelligent one at that.

And honestly, he is always such a joy to watch and read, his personality is so flavourful, and the way he carries himself is very attractive. He's not afraid to get messy or of getting hurt, theres so much chaos in the way he does things and yet he also has a huge element of gracefulness to him, which shines through the poetic way he speaks. Its undeniable that sukuna simply oozes charisma...

And this isnt talked about enough but this man is genuinely so effortlessly funny (in a kind of sinister way i guess?) Like yes he is an old ass man having real beef with one FIFTEEN YEAR OLD for very little reason, he accidentally healed yuujis arm and somehow expected him to be grateful for it despite how he literally ripped his heart out afterwards, then he proceeded to sit on him after kicking him down likeeee 😭 what kind of behaviour is this sir

His facial expressions at yorozus yapping 💀 THE WAY HE COMPARED YUUJIS FACE OF DESPAIR TO THE HARIMA STATUE 😭😭😭💀😭💀💀😭 omg that was so foul but i was fucking losing it ngl

How he randomly compared gojo to a fish and started talking abt his scales... thats a very unique and descriptive comparison, isnt it? Even in the recent leaks, he was 100% ready and squaring up to a literal child talking abt "youre starting to get annoying" LIKE HELPPP 😭 HE FR SAID "fuck them kids and fuck you too"

I saw someone saying that sukuna has no passion, like are we talking about the same character....? This man is a literal jujutsu NERD 💀💀 he truly recognises talented sorcerers and the only time hes seen to be having genuine fun is when hes fighting a mf... is that not passion? This is literally sukuna when it comes to jujutsu: 🤓

Anyway im done here now, im pretty sure i missed a lot of things i couldve talked about as well but ive done enough yapping

[littledigits]

thoughts on the cut episodes and ppls reactions 'n stuff

Since it was confirmed that a few more episodes of Hilda were written but cut, I do think the reaction of people finding this out is really interesting and not just because its fairly common in the industry and isint a sign of anything bad necessarily. I mean heck, in a weird way being behind the scenes and then seeing how people interpret things, what they take as important, what they think is a thread…all of that is interesting. When your job is basically trying to get people to pick up what you're putting down storywise its kind of a neat topic, because everyone communicates in their own way.

BTW before I keep going this is not a post to say dont crit/vent/complain/whatever about whatever the heck you want in hilda or any media, you do you. I think peoples honest takes are fascinating (said in victoria van gale voice) and even just people speaking their mind shows that they are interested and they care so that matters. Also not one singular post triggered this, its just been on my mind as I surface level read things so no stressies.

When It comes to the cut episodes, I'm seeing some people assume that whatever was cut would have fixed some of the crits they may have had about the season..and who knows, maybe yes? But I'd say ultimately probably not. Not because they dont include things that people want to see, or may have some topics people want expanded on ..but because thats just impossible in the grand scheme of things.

I mean this applies to shows in general, not just hilda. Every person who watches a show has their own idea of what the show represents to them. For some of its more of the surface events or characters where as others connect it with a deeper emotion. A lot of people respond to different tones of the episodes, which there are many. Some people prefer the one off adventures that stand alone as their own stories and others want to see more of a stronger through line. Some may see a new character and expect a new arc and thread, while others wonder why we couldn't've used a previously introduced character. Some may read between the lines more and others may take what is presented as very straight forward and literal …and no one is WRONG, because our big wrinkly brain meats all have their own tastes and ways of imputing information.

Television animation is rife with factors that actually futz with the quality and ability of the team to make a beautiful, amazing product like EVERY DAY. The script process and what goes into production is just one. The team is made up of many creatives all with their own varied experiences and voices just like the audience. In order for people to have their own voices and say, you are going to end up with some things that hit better then others, especially if the team is allowed to grow and experiment and play a little. Hilda has always been a show where we've been able to have a lot of creative say, and i think that sincerity comes through ! but with the sincerity and that humanity, it also means that there are going to be things that arnt going to make sense in the grand scheme of things lol. Even the writers and creators and producers have differing opinions on what to explore and dive into, probably more so then fandoms haha. Having more episodes may scratch some itches but not all, HECK, those episodes being cut could have re-allocated resources to other areas that helped elevate your fav ep of the season ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows! Schrodinger's episodes! (also ngl I was having cold sweats over the scope of some of them as cool as they were. The season may have been shorter but it was intense..it takes a long time to do stuff that looks that clean and crisp)

Imperfect art is very human! Do the best you can at the time with the factors you have. I was given so much trust and freedom on my episodes, and I was just happy to do something fun that allowed me and my team to grow and learn. I was fucking STOKED to get a one off story because it was way less pressure for me to take my next step directing cuz just doing the thing is a feat. Any sincerity you feel cant come through if that means we're afraid that we cant make mistakes, or do a story choice ppl wont vibe with. All you can do is do the best you can, see if people are picking up what you're putting down, and grow from it for next time.

Anyway, just a thought ramble. Its not to say do or dont do this or think this way blah blah. I just love that storytelling is messy and complex and everyones gonna take it a lil differently, especially if you have a team where you allow lots of voices to have input. It is all just a big experiment to see if people leave with a particular experience by putting your resources into the things you have that matter, and try you best to distract from burnt edges or patched up holes that happened throughout the process of making the dang thing lol.

[fandomrouletteburrito]

You know what? Im going to vent about how annoyed I am abt bsd atm and put it in the tags bcuz I also want to debate it. I enjoy bsd but I am struggling to understand what exactly Asagiri is trying to do here esp when this arc is so long that the arc itself has mini arcs in it.

If anyone reads this I would love, LOVE to discuss this because I am yanking my hair in frusteration

I am putting it under a cut so that ppl who dont want to see criticism abt bsd dont have to see it

Am i being an asshole? Yes

Am i going to warn ppl before hand and remind them that they can curate their internet experience by simply not reading something that is going to criticize something they love? And the block button exists for a reason???????Also yes

That being said i dont often go off about things i dont like about media i enjoy because well i understand everything i like has pros and cons

Also i still read bsd bcuz there r other things i DO like about it

Anywayssss

The thing that is bothering me about bsd is that I dont think I can tell what any character is doing EVER. Perhaps thats just my taste and I like having some idea of whats going to happen.

The characters arcs are excellent, their actions make sense for the personalities that they have yes.

The problem i do have w bsd is that the characters are apparently constantly always somehow predicting whats going on

How in the goddamn world do you expect me to believe that Fyodor let Dazai see him kill someone through touch so that Dazai would come up w a plan like Mersault? Fyodor didn’t expect Dazai to catch him at the end of the whole virus thing so like how is that enough time for him to find a way to kill that guard by just touching his hand? Why do that unless you planned the Mersault fake death from the start?

I forget but didn’t the Hunting Dogs get Mushitaro to bring up Dazai’s crimes to get Dazai into Mersault? Was this all to get Dazai away from the agency? Extremely likely but that tells me Fyodor planned to fake his death from the star(again) WHICH IN TURN MEANS HE HAD TO HAVE FKING KNOWN SO MUCH AHEAD OF TIME which only makes sense if he had access to some type of future telling ability because some characters actions WERE random eg: below

If Gogol randomly decided to break Fyodor out of Mersault with his race against death game, how can Fyodor expect to be killed by a vampire to become Bram??? How does this make sense if he did not know that Gogol would plan this at all?

There is the panel of Fyodor fallin through the Mersault room correctly as he says its time to escape so maybe he knew Gogol would that? HOW if Gogol just came up with that plan without any of Fyodor’s input?? Alright then maybe he was acting so Dazai won’t catch on but even then how was he expecting to die so that he can become Bram?? What was his alternate plan?

Alright maybe he simply predicted Gogol to do that which I think is a bit sad for Gogol since I think his whole character arc is about how he doesn’t want to be shackled by anything and I would argue being manipulated by someone is a shackle

Criticism 2: the fact absolutely no one of importance has died in bsd manga except for in the light novels(i am including Odasaku in this) please PLEASE correct me if I missed a death

Im not counting Fukuchi as dead because jury’s still out on that given the whole thing w God!Fukuchi/Amenogozen

Esp as we have Dead Apple where whats his names ability outlived him and i think also in 55 minutes

Because well, how do you expect me to take any of the stakes in this manga seriously if no one of name dies ever, I would not have this issue if death wasnt faked out as many times as it has

Maybe Bram will actually stay dead but I doubt it

The fact Kunikida was killed this chapter just tells me that yet again, death is not a serious consequence in this manga. Esp as the book has not been used yet. Even fking HP Lovecraft is alive ffs.

If Kunikida stays dead I will HAPPILY eat my words and state that Asagiri is a master writer for fooling my reading of bsd that well.( i am obviously not saying only my interpretation of bsd is correct so pls dont come at me)

Criticism 3: why didn’t Dazai literally just kill off Fyodor w Chuuya once they got Sigma to get the info from Fyodor

I understand thats a much more author did that because thats what the writing needed and characters are only as intelligent as the story needs so … fineeeee thats on me

Criticism 4: the whole Amenogozen thing about how the war isn’t real

How can Fyodor fake the sign on the wall unless he knew what sign meant world ending to Fukuchi???

Not sure if this is a criticism but if Chuuya was sent by Mori…how did Fyodor expect him to show up? Unless Fyodor and Mori discussed that earlier together in which case Mori is doing an excellent job at pretending like he’s not inleague with Fyodor

This plan of Fyodor’s to become Bram is just so batshit insane and so reliant on people doing random things at the right time eg: Gogol and the death game, Chuuya not being used to kill Fyodor in any form, Sigma not waking up in time to warn the agency, Dazai not fking shooting Fyodor w a gun

Imagine if Gogol’s poison succeeded then well ig Fyodor would just stay in his body since he injected the poison in his own veins which hey doesn’t that mean there was no risk of Fyodor dying in that game? I am likely wrong but it is kinda funny

Unrelated but wow tumblr does NOT want to make writing this on mobile easy bruh

I think the reason I’m so frusterated with this is that bsd is so unpredictable that for me it feels like its going beyond the suspension of disbelief i have

Its breaking the intelligence scale that they set with Fyodor, Dazai and Ranpo that it feels too much to believe

My other issue is I dont know what the whole long term thing w BSD is, and I am a bit tired of that. That might be my personal taste where I like to know what kind of ending or long term things I hope to see in a series but this is a bit too absured for me which might be the point

If anyone reads this entire nonsensical essay you have my respect

[dyrus]

today i woke up and saw tfblade post how he got banned three times and thought that was kinda crazy but funny.

but being one minute out of bed i skimmed it then saw a reply saying he needed to get off the net and that league is a childrens game.

this immediately provoked me because the thought of someone controlling someone else to be online and calling league a childrens game when i made a ton of money off it made me really angry.

so i replied with the "who the fuck do you think you are lmao" and was laughing on my way to the shower.

i played sf6 streamed played baulders with the boys, then checked back on it and saw a bunch of people saying i fell off, i wasnt human, one parasocial weirdo brought up my ex, and one guy being genuninely confused.

i felt anger and sadness for a good hour and then went back to reasess why this happened and realized the context was he didnt just fuck himself over but it was a korean bootcamp so a bunch of ppl that came over got banned not just him.

not to mention korea stans, vtubers fans, league fans all involved. so realizing that i stepped on a landmine i wasnt mad anymore and actually understood why the feedback was so awful and deleted some dumb shit i said and said sorry to the one guy who was confused on why i would ever say such a thing.

i was in a really bad mood at the end of my day but thanks to my friends who let me vent for a little i came to realize that i actually fucked up by not reading more. and even posting in drama filled with these kinds of fans. i'm impressed that anyone even liked my post because now i feel sick looking at the situation so i deleted it.

i still dont think it's right for others to tell people what to do and calling league a childrens game but i clearly missed the point and took a L today.

everything is good with me but i have no motivation to do anything besides play games and keep myself from being to unhealthy (i'm back at 230) but i plan on losing weight again before any event i go to (evo or twcon) next year and hopefully can post some very happy pictures once again like last year.

that was my day, i posted this because i feel like this is my safe space and i felt a little lonely for the first time in months.

i really dont think i would of done anything to much different in my life but so much pain is caused from misunderstandings and miscommunication and sometimes when i want attention and act like a fool once in awhile.

but i have a lot of gamer friends i enjoy playing games with so im good.

holy fuck i hate being bi now it's like double the horny and i dont need any of that.

thanks for coming to my ted talk