#dont want to see people dont want to talk to people dont want to be touched dont wanna hear noise. awful awful awful

[yuyu1024]

Lettuce

Pairings: Mingyu × y/n

Genre/tags: non idol, dating

Warning: 🔞 fluff but still smut, pet names (babes, baby, love, honey, sweetheart etc.), cursing, unportected/protected sex (always be safe), kinks (size, breeding, tits, etc), mention of small age gap, mention of low self-esteem/confidence and insecurities

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 2.6k

Disclaimers:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

A/N: been away. I didnt know if I should post this or delete but then... I dont want effort to go to waste so.. 😅 i hope this is an okay one.

Have a nice day.

-----------------------------------------------------

"Are you still waiting for your ride home?"

You look at the group of girls standing a few feet away from you. They are from the department across your office.

"Is your boyfriend late?" She adds a follow up question

You smile, "I am." You cautiously answer.

They are not your friends so you are not comfortable to share more than that. And also they are known to be the gossipers in the officr so, any details about your personal life would be the next topic for the next few weeks if you share anything with them.

"It's already late... are you sure he's still coming?" One girl asks.

Luckily, the bus arrives just in time for them to hurry in. No time for you to even chat with them anymore.

"Thank goodness..." you sigh feeling relieved.

*pings*

🐶: sorry, im late. 😭

🐶: i helped an old lady cross the street.

🐶: didn't know she would ask me to also help her get boxes of soju in her shop.

🐶: she admitted to pretending to struggle crossing the street so she can ask anyone to help her and his son 🙃 and then made me buy a whole bunch of lettuce.

🐶: like a whoke bunch😶

🐶: you like lettuce right babe?😚

You smile as you read your boyfriend's text. You don't know if its you imagining him pouting because he feels sorry he made you wait or its because he felt used and scammed.

💖: you're so silly.

💖: its still a good deed so its okay 😊

🐶: but i am 10mins late.

🐶: i cant let my princess wait for me.

💖: i can wait. As long as its you... ♥️

You see him read the message and then not reply.

"Hello stranger..."

You got startled when Mingyu embraces you from behind and kissed you on the cheek.

"Yah! You scared me." You slap his arm

"Sorry..." he giggles and kissed you again. This time on the lips.

"Stop..." you say, blushing. "We are outside."

"So...?" He grins and then puts his arm around you. "We are a couple. Who the fuck cares?"

You roll your eyes. "You know people judge..."

"No... they are just jealous because I am dating a wonderful woman..."

You shake your head. "No... they are not jealous because of me..." you push him away. Forcing a laugh. "Probably because you look good in that double denim look."

Here you go again with your self pity and self judging. You always do this. 'This' notion that you are way below over any other girl and that you are just lucky Mingyu is your boyfriend. You always make an effort to put yourself down without even noticing that Mingyu does not like it.

He fucking loves you. Inside and out. From head to toe. From front to back. He even loves it when you are not at your best behavior nor position. He just... loves you. Period.

But on your end, even with a million reassurance, you always doubt yourself for him.

***

Arriving at his apartment, the first thing you did was announce that you are going to take a shower. You didn't even looked at him when you said it. You're not mad at him or whatever. You are just guilty and feel sorry for being down out of the blue. You didn't even talked that much during the ride home.

"Hey..." he takes you by your arm and pulls you close for an embrace. He kissed the top of your head and then forehead. "Take your time... I'm going to cook dinner."

You smile with no teeth showing. "Okay..." your voice sounding almost a whisper.

"Anything in particular you want? We have meat, fish and vegetables... like a lot of lettuce..." referring to the whole plastic the old lady sell him. "You want something with soup or fried? Ramyun or pasta?"

"Hmm... I like pasta... and a salad on a side?"

"Okay... as you wish my princess..."

The whole apartment smells like a five star restaurant. The fragrance is to die for and makes your mouth water. When you got out of the bedroom, hair still damp, you got suprised by how extravagant Mingyu arranged the dining area. Fancy plates, lit candles, wine glasses and a bottle of his favorite red win. All of a sudden, iy felt like you entered an Italian restaurant wearing your baby pink pajamas and hello kitty slippers.

"Hi, babe." Mingyu is a ray of sunshine while putting on a few more finishing touches on the table. "Ready to eat?"

"Aww..." your heart is aching with pure joy. He is the sweetest man alive.

You stumble your way to him, caused by your own feet. He managed to catch you giggling with you. You look silly but he find it cute. And then as your eyes met he immediately captures your lips for a kiss. Small pecks that got deeper and more seductive. The kisses are loud that it echoes and bounce off the walls of the apartment. He can't also stop touching every curve of your body. From your hips, to your ass and to your tits. He even lifted your shirt so he can access your bra and yank one side down exposing you boob.

"M-mingyu...." you giggle as you try to pull away from the kiss. He does not want to let you go. He keeps on chasing your pink lips whenever a gap starts to build in betweem his. "We need to eat... the food will get cold..."

He didn't answer. He leans lower so he could give love on your exposed bud. He suck it first before he lets his tongue lick it and make your squirm.

"M-mingyu..." you inhale. "The food...?"

He finally lets you go, smiling. "Fine." He chased one more kiss. "But after we eat..." and another one. "I'd like to go straight to dessert." And another one. "You know I love my dessert." He says, bitting his lower lip while grinning like a mad dog.

"You're crazy!" You pinch his nose.

"Crazy over you..." he growls and suddenly picks you up off the floor. He puts your legs around his waist and you automatically hang your arms over his shoulder to hold on.

"Yah!"

"I can't wait. I think I want to begin our dinner with dessert first." His eyes is filled with desire and he is ready to wreck you.

Kicking the door open to your bedroom, Mingyu lays you down gently but in a hurry at the same time. He is on a mission. He is not going to make love to you. He will FUCK your brains out tonight. You know that look in his eyes.

"No condoms... I need to feel you... skin to skin..." he pulls his shirt off and throws it, hitting the wall, then begins to unbuckle his belt and pants. "And I'll like to fill you up until it leaks out of your pussy." He adds, grinning

"Oh God..." you try to get a hold of yourself. Not ready for what is coming

He pushes down his pants and underwear in one go. His length springs free and is up, steady and hard. It's tip glistening with pre cum.

"Turn around..."

You do as he says and go on fours on top of the bed. He pulls your pants down, revealing a bare and wet pussy ready to be torn.

"No panties huh..."

You blush. "Well... I know we'll have sex today... I just didn't know its going to be this soon..."

Mingyu hovers on your back, hand sliding up and down your curves. "Do you want me to stop and just go on with dinner?"

You lower your heard, embarassed, even though he's not seeing how turned on and red you are. "No... I would never say no to you..." after a few breaths in you look back, cheeks red and warm. "You know sex with you is my only addiction."

"Fuck yeah it is..." he says proudly and satisfied

He eases himself in, slowly but deliciously. He skipped prepping you. He can't wait anymore. His dick is aching and wanting to feel your walls.

"I'll be a little rough to you today, babe." He smacks your ass and a moan escapes your lips. "I didn't like what you did earlier..."

"Ughhh!" He slams strong and consistent. It's driving you insane how he could hit the very back of your cervix. Actually he could hit every thing inside you. Thats how long and thick he is. "W-hat... what did... I do?" You arch your back and pushed your upper body up so he can embrace you and touch your body as he thrust your brains out.

"You know..." he grunts as he adjusts and tries to go deeper, even though he is already at the deep end of your insides. "I don't like it... when you don't appreciate yourself..." he inhales and exhales as he feels you clench and make it tighter. "Fuck! Babe!" He kisses the curves of your neck and bites on your shoulder when he feels the tightness thats make it fucking sensational for him

You ubotton your top to give him access to your chest. You didn't unhook your bra though. You just pulled the ladies out and the bra helps give them a push up.

"You are beautiful... sexy... and a wonderful woman..." he pushes your hair out of his way so he can kiss your neck. "Love yourself... the way I love you."

He then pulls out, almost making you cry and beg. But them makes you turn around to face him.

"Can you?" He asks with the most loving eyes

You crash your lips to his. Pushing your tongue in him. You didn't stop until you hear a moany cry from your boyfriend. His brows then creases when you playfully bite his lower lip. "I want to..."

"But what?" He carries you off the bed and pins you to the wall, beside the window of your bedroom. Your one leg touching the ground while the other is hooked over his forearm. "Answer me, babe."

He slams back in you. Stronger and much deeper. Which confused you coz how? Its not like your cervix can expand. But thats what it felt when he slammed you. It didn't hurt. It felt insane actually. Insanely goodm

"You are kind... sweet... caring... hardworking... knows what you like and dislike... respectful..."

You are catching your breathe in your throat. Its like you are choking from excess pleasure. You try to speak but you can't let go of the high. So instead of speaking, you just shook your head.

"You don't agree?" He asks. Mingyu looks at you with his puppy eyes and showered you with kisses. Then he kept repeating all the good qualities you have as a person and even physically.

He really is telling you every bits about you. Everything that he loves and dislike but accepts coz it is you. It is part of you. He really do love you.

"What can I do... to reassure you?"

You put your hand over his mouth. Not to shut him down but to hush him for a second. Just for a moment until you get it all out for him.

"Fuck me!" You cry as you can't help but  cry more of his name. You are so close to your orgasm. "Nggghhhh...!"

You shut your eyes ready to explode but then Mingyu pulls away from your hand, takes you back in bed to finish, when he suddenly says the two words you didn't expect him to say while he's fucking your brains out

"Marry me..." he says.

Your eyes opens, looks at him in pure shock and bliss. "W-wha..." you can't finish your words. He was hammering you. You can't answer. "Mingyu!" You moan his name so loud when your world spun around.

"I love you." He grunts as he see you melt and when he pushed into you a few more times, he finally begins release himself you. All the warmth and every drop of him in you. "Fuck!" He exhales, dropping his body on you but not his weight. "I love you..." he says again. "So much..." he kisses your shoulder and then your cheek. "So... what do you say?" He smirks

"Suddenly?" You look at him, confused.

"Hmmm..." he scrunches his nose, still wearing the smile on his lips. "Not really..."

He then gets up, pulling out of you, which felt like you got more naked than what you are now. More exposed.

"Wait lemma clean you first."

He runs into the bathroom and takes a towel to wipe you clean. Just clean enough to be presentable but not totally wipe his seeds off you. He wants that in there.

And then he runs out of the room.

"Where are you going? Babe?" You are confused. Why is your man running outside the bedroom ass naked

Giggling as you see him comeback in and carrying the plastic bag of lettuce.

"Huh? What's that for?" You sit up and wrap the thin white blanket to your body.

"I lied. Well... we still going to have salads and all..." he is mumbling. "This should be over dinner... but... I could not help myself earlier so..."

"Mingyu... what is going on...?"

Laughing but still trying to pull a serious face. "It was true that an old lady sold me this but... as I was helping her she took the paper bag the came wit this... and I panicked." He sits down beside you. "I didn't want to put it in my jacket or pocket coz... it will be obvious... and when we walk and your cold you always put your hand in my jacket's pockst so..."

"Mingyu!" You grab his face and kissed him. To make him focus. "Just say it..." you are giggling now too.

"Okay..." a soft smile spreads to his lips. "I know... you may think... I'm still young and naive."

"No you're not..."

"Yeah but... still... anyways..." he nervously laughs. "Like I said... you are an amazing woman. Anyman who you choose to love will be the luckiest. And thankfully its me..." he then goes down to his one knee and pulls out a black box from the plastic of lettuce. "I said I didn't like what you did earlier... you looking down at yourself... but that does mean I hate you or mad at you for it... I just say that because I care.. I want you to feel... assured and happy." He opens the box and shows the most brightest ring you ever saw in your life. "If I have to always reassure you for the rest of our lives... I don't fucking care. I am up for it. I love you and I can't live a day without you." Pulling out the ring and taking your hand. "Please marry me... I will serve you and love you forever..."

You watch him put the ring on your finger.

"So...?" He looks at you with doe eyes

Letting go of the blanket covering your body, you launch yourself to him, making you guys fall on the floor. "I love you Kim Mingyu..." you say first before kissing him. "Forever is not a bad idea..." you kiss him again. "Of course I will accept."

"Sorry if I proposed to you after sex... at diner would've been fantastic"

"Don't say sorry... I do love your way..." you get up from embracing him. "It brings back to how we started."

He sits back up. "Right."

Then you stare at your ring. "Who could've guessed that... I will be marrying the guy I met and fucked at a friend's birthday?"

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey uhm you dont know me or maybe you do. but im the kid that left those stupid tags on one of your posts.

your response was "should we tell everyone. should we throw a party. should we invite Bella Hadid." (just to refresh your memory)

When I added those tags, I thought it was fine. It was more or less banter with a moot in the tags. I didn't think you'd see it or even care. I was tone deaf. and im sorry.

and like, it has been months since i added that in the tags and then you screenshotted and added to the post but i think about it a lot. and i think about what the people in the notes said a lot.

i never meant to be insensitive or anything, i was trying to be light hearted. idk i just needed to get this off my chest.

oh hey what's up lmao

I want to be so clear that I was never angry at you as an individual, it's mostly just like... it's very frustrating as a woman who's moderately gender nonconforming to talk about my frustrations with being expected to shave, wear makeup, etc, and so often be met with people derailing the conversation to talk about how much they love those things.

I want to be so clear: I have absolutely no beef with any woman or any other person doing whatever the fuck they want with their body. shave whatever you want, put on as much or as little makeup as you like, wear whatever clothing makes you happy. I don't feel any animosity towards people who enjoy things that I don't, it's just endlessly tiring to ALWAYS have someone feeling the need to chime in to talk about how much the love stuff that feels totally disconnected from my life specifically when I am trying to talk about that disconnect. and it is genuinely kind of inevitable, I don't think I've ever been able to express that feeling without someone chiming in to talk about how they can't relate at all and feel completely the opposite. which is a fine way to feel, but maybe read the room!

anyway. I know it was a cunty response and I am sorry if that hurt to see. I genuinely do not have any grudge with you, and if anyone has been shitty to you about those tags I am deeply sorry, because that's never something I would have wanted. I appreciate hearing from you 💜

[aboringredmop]

k still don't know how im gonna post the videos (YouTube? unlisted?someone please help) but I can't sleep so I thought it'd write down whatever I remember happening!

(edit: here's the full recording! )

Becky and Joe walked on stage wearing sunglasses and red leather jackets and threw 3 of the trio plushies into the crowd. didn't get one unfortunately but it's really cool some people got free plushies :)

they made this robot child called the Inspiration Child, who's clearly meant to be a nod to ai (can learn from our show and generate it's own content!)

they explained how they met (and had some dodgy animated retelling), and how they started with small projects like commercials and music videos, until they came up with designs of the trio (and a mysterious fourth fella)

they made the designs first, then made the set, then the song and finally wrote the script for creativity. red guy was just a red mop head with legs at first ("alien squid thing") but Joe put the red guy head on for shits and giggles once and Becky thought it was hilarious so they kept it in the show

they were really not expecting it to blow up, and when Sundance called because they wanted to show creativity Becky thought it was a scam caller lol

they talked about the kickstarter and the credit card fraud kid. the mailed him saying "hey maybe dont do that" but the kid didnt know how to undo it cuz he just found a website full of credit card information and went ham, so Becky and Joe had to contact kickstarter because people were pulling out of the funding because they thought the project was overfunded (kickstarter was very difficult to contact)

they also made (lighthearted) fun of nsfw fluffybird art ((no padlock 😔) "using OUR characters to act out their SICK FANTASIES" - Becky) and theorists, especially because most if not all of the webseries is just them fucking around.

Inspiration Child also says something along the lines of "wow what a cool show with a great message of how corrupt the media is. I hate the media!"

Becky and Joe had these rules to make the show as vague as possible (no pop culture references, no names, no swearing and way too much detail put into small things)(the duck guy drag queen absolutely obliterates the no swearing rule lol)

they talk about the pilot, how they focused too much on the story because they felt like they had to due to it being on the big screen now, and how it ended up ruining the atmosphere and such of the pilot. they did show the entire thing sped up but my phone sucks ass so I could not get it to focus correctly. I'll see what I can salvage so you people can dissect frames of your blorbo you're Legally Not Allowed To See (which is also the official reason we don't get the pilot)

also pilot concept art showed that Mean Steve is in fact just called Key

they showed a whole post-it wall full of ideas for the tv show. don't know how much I got on footage, but what stood out most to me were 2 episodes called Money and Christmas. Joe mentioned "clock in a wheelchair" specifically

also really fun fact. Becky made the Lesley suit during covid, and pretty much threatened Baker into writing a human character into the show to wear it. concept art also shows Lesley with a mask made out of the same fabric, don't know if this was part of the original suit tho

they showed Warrens old models (?). he was gonna be a wayy more ugly looking silicone pug-worm thing y'all got lucky with the bald fuck

lily and todney were directly based off of some cancelled show about two porcelain doll children with panda parents. do not for the life of me remember what it was called but Becky and Joe were very enthousiastic about it (UPDATE: Candy and Andy!)

international release of the show soon!

Inspiration Child talks about what he's learned and sings a little song, then generates his own dhmis inspired content of a cult meeting in a forest at night. the dhmis Discord server called this "potential new content" but I doubt it

3 cultists walk on stage, face the screen backs to the crowd, drop their cloaks and boom! drag queens!!!

they were not mentioned on the site or during earlier parts of the show at all so they were a complete surprise. I asked Becky about it later during the night and she said she really wanted them there, so she asked and they were excited to! hope this means more official content with them soon I love them

they dance to There's Three Of Us, then Duck lipsings the shredder song which turns into a techno remix while Red and Yellow dance during the background

then Duck and Yellow make out while Red tries to undress to the instrumentals of the Fucked Up Part of Creativity but can't get out of his suit on time before the song ends

the drag queens, Becky and Joe and the Inspiration Child walk around during the meet and greet later and I got signatures from all of them! except inspiration child he didn't have thumbs

the drag queens were so fucking funny. Duck adopted inspiration child and loudly yelled at everyone to "GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING CHILD" (their duck voice is sooo good). yellow stood in a corner staring at a wall for like 10 minutes and red was constantly awkwardly hovering just outside the frames of pictures (and also could not see shit lmao)

Becky liked my shirt! (the one with the melting trio heads) said she handdrew it

I'll post the signatures and some more stuff tomorrow because it is. 5 am

edit Heres the signatures! yellow guys is Italian I think? and means hi I love you :)

(the liyskaen is duck trying to spell my name. they got pretty close)

[erabu-san]

You are literally French. What would you know about any of this, an issue and drama stirred up by anericans.

Blackwashing exists and is used by bigots that hate white people. Its used to erase the ethnicity of asians just because people dont think they are "poc enough" because of their pale skin. Its used to demonize people with pale skin because its becoming more and more the norm to view anyone with pale skin as evil. That anyone who is "too pale" isnt enough or a human being.

They arent real people, and their skintones are fine as is. You wouldnt go up to, for example an albino or mixed race black/poc person and tell them they arent "dark enough". They dont even need to be special like that to be pale. Some just are pale.

Whether you think there should be more characters that are dark or not is not the issue. Its that you think they wouldnt be/arent good enough as is with pale skin that shows how much of a bigot you are.

Blackwashing is not the progressive act you think it is. Its obvious that your only experience with it is through genshin drama. You obviously know nothing about how much red haired pale characters & asian ones are substituted with black characters. How characters are simply replaced in the name of "diversity". How this forced inclusivity and diversity is just bigots trying to "get revenge" on the white people they hate so much, and to tick off DEI boxes on their little bigoted checklist.

You tell me to educate myself but its actually YOU who needs to be educated.

Many are complaining about sumeru and natlan characters with names similar to gods in cultures of our world that are pale when their inspiration is dark skinned. Claiming they want representation and for it to be accurate, to reflect our world on a 1-1 scale.

Yet these same people will make xiao, zhongli, Ei, and many more asian characters darker " because asians can be dark skinned too". Yet so can mostly dark skinned races be pale.

So why cant you (gen) respect such characters, who are gods and divine beings based on a culture where pale is more beautiful, and gods of such cultures are pale?

There is hypocrisy in everything to do with blackwashing. Its okay when its done to pale characters because in real life black people have been oppressed? But these characters are not real, nor are they a reflection of our reality, as far as we have seen they dont even have racism in this fictional world.

It is one thing to explore a character like with the recent hatsune miku trend, atleast there most people arent going at each other's throats saying black miku is better than japanese miku(as far as i have seen)

Seriously how can you even begin to justify this. And who ever told you that dark skinned characters "scare white people" is an absolute fucking liar trying to justify their own bigotry towards white people.

No black washing IS just as disgusting as whitewashing. Neither should exist, and you shouldn't feed into the stupid circle jerk of bigotry that both of them are.

Aaaah that's what I like ! Yes ! Thank you for telling me your opinion, explaining what is wrong. I absolutely love to learn, and I prefer to read this long text calling me ignorant and explaining why that just a simple text of you saying you are annoyed by a fanart.

Thank you for telling me ! First yes I am french, and indeed my culture has more an european pov. But again, I also grow up as a minority "race" with my parents culture !🙏 in france, i don't look like a french. Well. Still I am aware that it doesn't remove anything from what I said

And I totally agree with you, some are just pale !! It just happens I draw Kinich black because I like it like this. Is Kinich true inspiration are actually pale ? Tell me more, I wish to learn !!

Tbh when you talk abt gods being pale is beautiful, I thought about Nahida. I did research when she were out and yes, I do agree, there is character who are fine as they are.

And because I live in France I also see "dark skin scare white" as a true fact. It happens and it is harmful. 🧍 not only in France tho, in country where pale skin is portrayed as beautiful, people who have tan skin are less represented even if it is the majority. I suppose the contrary happens too !!

"Character are not real" and yet you are annoyed, I guess it is the action of "blackwash" that make you mad, more than "a fictional character w diffent skin tone" tho! My opinion is fiction does affect real world, as do real life affects fiction, and this is something I won't debate on

"They don't have racism in this fictional world" sorry but it does in Sumeru. 🙏 about this one npc she is reject by forest and desert because of them being mixed, desert not being access to book and even Cyno said his scholarship was complicated because he is from desert

If you wish to continue, please send me DM with arguments. I don't know if I would change my mind of not drawing Kinich pale, but I am super interested about what you have to say !! 👍👍

[outrunningthedark]

I dont think he needs to come out defending Lou - Lou can handle himself he’s a grown man and has taken ( I think at least) the best course of action (stay silent until the season starts back up again). However I do have a lot of mutuals who are queer men who feel little hurt by the lack of acknowledgement for this queer relationship. Like getting excited that your favourite show has a relationship that you feel represented (just like with Michael and David) only to have silence from the social media team and the actors (well we clearly know why Lou is currently silent -when he was active he did talk Beautifully about them) can be hurtful. I don’t know if this makes any sense at all. But I did find it a bit odd ( and this is not me assuming malicious intent - I like to give the benefit of the doubt) some of the patterns I’ve seen. At the end of the day everyone is free to do whatever they want - while at the same time fans can feel how they want to feel. I understand both perspectives.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense -it got away from me as I was writing 😂

I know what you're saying, and I agree. I think people are (I assume unintentionally) lumping calling out bad behavior and acknowledging the canon relationship together as the same course of action, but...it's not. (I mean, from what I saw of the reaction to my post there was a lot of hand-waving for why Oliver's "doing the right thing" because fandom is out of control.) I don't think Oliver needs to "defend" Lou or even Tommy as a character. (He didn't defend any of the women on the show until they were gone so why start now, honestly.) But there IS a way to take a stand without even saying anything, isn't there? Post a story. Post a pic. Share a fan edit. Captions not needed. The content would speak for itself. He's not staying silent because he hates the story line - sorry Buddies! - because he definitely knew that if the GA reaction went well BuckTommy was going to continue past those four episodes. He's staying silent because he lets these people behind a screen get in his head and make him feel like he has to walk on eggshells while "interacting with fandom". And listen, we all get it! He's gotta do what he's gotta do to protect his mental health! But you can acknowledge his feelings without dismissing the feelings of the queer fans who are only seeing a guy essentially do a 180 because public pressure is too high. How is he "representing" anybody if he doesn't even celebrate the story he's telling? [There's a quick-fix to all of this, btw. Get a fucking social media manager to do the posting so he doesn't have to see any of this shit with his own eyes if it's gonna drag him down that much.]

[genderqueerdykes]

just want to say your blog makes me rlly happy! im not queer myself but two of my moms are butches, and its great to see more people talk about how you dont have to look a certain way to be a woman or be queer!

TWO BUTCH MOMS ... THAT'S SO GREAT. I'm glad to hear that you enjoy the message even if you don't identify as queer! that's the thing, I'm here to advocate for everyone regardless of identity to be themselves. it doesn't matter what labels you use, women can look, act and present however they want to! i feel as though cishet people need to hear this as well

thank you for such a kind message! i really appreciate that! I'm so happy for you and your moms

[lexithwrites]

some headcanons for the ladies of the fandom, and no this isn't gonna follow canon, they're all a little gay at the least, so cry about it x

dorlene,,my loves, i feel like they met at a gig honestly, marlene is very tomboy/grunge and loves going by herself to bars and pubs where some local band is playing and she's a bit awkward on her own but once she has a drink and sees a pretty girl she's a lot more chill and confident

then she meets dorcas and she's fucked, so so fucked

dorcas is my goth queen, long black dress, buckled harness across her chest, sharp black nails, dark makeup and so much jewellery and marlene cant stop staring at her

she didnt think she liked goth chicks that much but FUCK this woman is a goddess, and shes tall,,,marlene is a sucker for taller women

shes so nervous trying to chat her up because dorcas' voice is like velvet, its so soothing and melodic and marlene thinks she might orgasm just from talking to her, and dorcas TOUCHES when she talks to you she's touching her arm and running a hand down her back and telling marlene she looks hot and marlene is so red

but they do exchange numbers and talk for days before marlene finally has the guts to ask her out and dorcas takes her to this restaurant and honestly they spend the entire night together walking around and talking and they go to marlene's and do makeout but nothing further, dorcas is also my demi queen and marlene is probably shaking with nerves lmao

also i feel like when marlene introduces her to the group they're all starstruck by dorcas too, dorcas is like the hottest woman they've all seen and dont know how marlene's nerdy ass pulled her but are so proud and happy

plus dorcas is the sweetest most gentle woman, she's so caring and attentive and pays so much attention to what someones saying to her, she remembers everything

also her and lily? besties, they're both into the same shows and they're both book lovers and talk for ages about fanfiction hehe

speaking of, my girl lily, she's basically walked out of the 70's and i love her for it

all flares and tie dye shirts, long, bright red hair and crazy bright makeup, her favourite colour is yellow and she loves flowers and summer and UGH okay

she loves 70's rock too, i feel like she kinda hides it a little but her and sirius bond over it very quickly

her entire apartment is very boho and there's lots of incense and candles and yes, shes a stoner, shes cool

very bisexual but basically only wants to date women as her experience with men (past a fling with james when they were teenagers) has been bad so she goes on a lot of dates with women to try something new and they didnt really work out past a few dates but she's hopeful

then one night she's getting drunk and a lil high with mary and she realises how pretty mary is, how soft her skin is, how fluffy her hair looks and suddenly they're really close and woah her lips are so plump and taste like strawberry wtf

i feel like her and mary hooked up once and got so nervous that they ruined their friendship that they didnt talk for a week until remus begged them too because he hates his two closest friends not speaking

when they do talk mary tells lily that she's had the biggest crush on her for so long but she didnt know how to say anything because lily had dated other people in that time and lily just feels her heart sore because oh,,,oh

mary is the sweetest girl, okay, she's precious and honestly its because of trauma and just her resilience to it thats kept her so loving and sweet, she deserves a fiery girlfriend like lily

mary has a big family and i'll stand by that, she has like four brothers and three sisters and she's the third eldest so she's taken care of them a lot too

she loves taking lily to her families home and introducing them to her girlfriend and honestly? they adore lily

she's cool and feisty and funny and she clearly makes mary very happy, but her older sisters do have a protective talk with her but they love her, they know she wouldn't hurt her

i feel like mary is a theatre girl too, she loves acting and directing and learning about sound and costume design, she's defo in the universty theatre department and lily is always coming in with a coffee and some lunch incase she forgets to eat, plus it makes mary blush when lily comes in because everyone stares at her

also in the theatre department is none other than xenophilius, a shy, whimsy guy who is dating probably the scariest yet coolest woman ever, miss pandora rosier

her and her brother were always into acting growing up and loved being in plays together, so they're defo in the department too

i feel like pandora loves making costumes and does the makeup for shows she isn't in and evan is a big sound design guy, so they're always backstage together as well as onstage

pandora is whismy goth, her and dorcas bonded over that when they first met in freshers, and she always smells of flowers and cigarettes from her brother

she also wears the TALLEST shoes ever because she's short, i love short panda

and xeno is the tallest lankiest mother fucker okay he's like barty height and so skinny, and he has a shock of white hair and heterochromia eyes and fiddles with his fingers a lot and pandora thinks he's adorable

they talk about true crime together and she reads his palm a lot and he does her tarot reading and its a beautiful, soft, loving relationship

but i feel like they're also a lil freaky,,,maybe some knife play here and there who knows, pandora is a wild card

her and dorcas became friends with the other girls through marlene and after that they're all insperable

they go shopping, smoke weed, hang out in the rosier's pool during the summer, its great

and marlene is the only driver so she takes them to the beach and down to brighton for the weekend so they can go to the gay bars together, its just great

i love my ladies, i hope this meal was filling

[droidders]

Transformers One review

I'll start off with a non spoiler review.

First of all, amazing voice acting especially from Chris Hemsworth and Brian Tyree!! I didnt think Chris would be able to do a good orion/optimus voice but boy was I WRONG. They did amazing. Scarlett Johansson's voice for Elita was an amazing pick and keagan michael for bee's voice is also good.

Stellar voice acting with so much emotion!!

The animation is amazing. And the way they showed the world of cybertron is amazing. The world building in this movie is so good, i seriously feel like cybertron is a real planet with real creatures with its own rules, history, culture. They made the planet feel so alive, its insane.

All the characters were likeable, i was really vouching for all of them to succeed in their goals. The movie knows when to be funny and when to be serious, and it can get REALLY serious when it needs to be. The movie talks about real world problems and reflects it so well.

THE TRAILERS DID NOT DO THE MOVIE JUSTICE.

The trailers really made it look like a kids power ranger type of movie. The trailers gave it a vibe of:

"Bumblebee, you go left! D-16, you go right! And Elita.. well, you just be elita."

When the actual movie really wasnt. I kept my hopes low cause the trailers weren't really hyping me up that much and i didnt expect much from the movie overall but holy moly my expectations were blown away. The movie does have its flaws like any movie but yeah. This genuinely feels like the spiderverse of transformers. Truly amazing.

Overall 9.8/10, amazing job to everyone who worked on this movie, YOU COOKED!!!

I highly reccommend watching it in cinemas. Its worth it, just trust me on this!!!

Waiter! Waiter! I'd like a trilogy of transformers movies that are as good as this!

Id also like to add that this movie is the best transformers movie. And you dont have to be an insane transformers fan like me to like the movie, nor do you have to watch any other transformer movie to understand it. Its a great standalone movie. Its a movie great for both new and old transformer fans and people who are just looking for a good movie to watch.

GO WATCH IT NOW.

Now onto the spoiler review

I said all that i wanted to say about the overall movie in the non spoiler review. Here, I'll talk about the actual characters and story.

THIS IS CINEMA HOLY MOLY.

I had to resist screaming in theaters especially the part where Orion and D16 went to that thruster thing to get a better view of the Iacon 5000 and d16 is all like: "You did all this for me?"

AAAGWGSFEGWGSGDGDHHYDTST

The character development with D16 slowly turning into the monster that is megatron is BEAUTIFUL.

The movie writes d16 in a way that makes us NOT want him to turn evil which makes him slowly turning into megatron and betraying orion all the more heartbreaking. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

Seriously, his descension into evil makes me wanna cry. His unbridled rage towards Sentinel portrayed through the voice acting is just WOW. You can really feel his anger through his voice.

The way his eyes change as the movie progresses is just great. They did great writing him, deep down I really wanted him to be redeemed and for him to NOT turn into a brute like sentinel even though I knew it was inevitable. Some transformations are good, useful even, but in the case of Megatron it was a terrifying transformation thats unfortunately permanent.

Sentinel prime, as much as I hate him he is still such a great character. I hate him so much I love him. THE SCENE WHERE HE WAS BEGGING D16 TO NOT KILL HIM SENT CHILLS. You can feel the amount of fear in his voice. It was a striking contrast to his confident demeanor, his ruthlessness as a 'leader', and he who is the literal killer of the Primes,

to see him BEG for his life truly shows how terrifying D16 is.

ORION PAX AKA THE GLORIOUS OPTIMUS PRIME.

A wonderful and entertaining main character. THE SCENE WHERE HE JUMPS OUT OF THE PIT AS OPTIMUS PRIME??? Holy moly that was so badass. AND THE LINE WHERE HE SAYS:

"We could've built the future together."

GOD IT MAKES ME WANNA CRY.

The expression he made when he saw D16 being absolutely BRUTAL to Starscream as he realizes that his friend is slowly transforming into someone evil is gut-wrenching.

And throughout the first part of the movie he was this reckless character who did stupid things, he had hope and determination unlike anyone. It made me question 'How could this guy possibly turn out to be the strong leader that Optimus is?'

But during that scene where he talked to the other miners and led the High Guard to sentinel made me 100% sure that yeah, this guy definitely can be a great leader. And the way he gave the miners a CHOICE to join him or not. That is PRIME.

Elita was a straight up girlboss. I love how they didn't make her just another love interest for Orion or made her just this girl who was a good fighter. She was sassy, witty, and a hard worker. I almost feel bad for her getting demoted and having to deal with the mess that is Orion, D16 and Bee. But anyways, shes an amazing character, really likeable personality who is way more than just a bot who's a good fighter (which was the impression i unfortunately got from the trailers)

Her pep talk with Orion was both funny and beautiful. She knows how to break someone down with her words and build them back up to be stronger. I loved her. Not to mention her design looks gorgeous??? Probably my fav elita design of all time.

At first I found Bee a strange addition to the movie and I was scared they were gonna make him an annoying character but thank god he really wasnt! He was a great comic relief character who had a lot of funny lines. He adds so much silliness into a serious movie and not in a bad way.

He knew when to be serious and the gravity of the situation with Sentinel being a terrible, corrupt leader. I loved the portrayal of him as this almost crazy guy whos been stuck being alone talking to inanimate objects in a place where all he does is burn trash all day (makes sense as to why he talks so much).

A really good character, thank primus they didnt make him annoying or overbearing.

Lastly, Cybertron itself. THE WORLD BUILDING IS SO GOOD. It's environment, its people (or bots?) make the planet feel so real. All of these cool mechanisms with the road and trains, the landscape during the train scene with the vapor wave-esque sun is just gorgeous. Such a beautiful portrayal of Cybertron that I love.

I personally dont think the movie NEEDS a sequel since the rest of the transformers just takes place after this, but if they make another movie thats as good as this, Im not complaining. If they do make a new movie though, I'll guess that it probably has something to do with the Quintessons or something idk.

Its a really beautiful take on Megatron and Optimus' backstory. And though there are many takes on it like how megatron was a gladiator and not a miner, etc,

This is still probably my favorite take on their story, its a really interesting portrayal of them and their fallout.

Anyways thats the end of my yap, honorable mentions to the music, it helped the immersion of the movie, and its really good.

Do note that Ive only seen it once, i might've gotten some stuff wrong but ill be looking to watch it again somehow in the future. My review may be subject to change but yeah.

Buh-bye!!

[sillylittlegirlthoughts]

would you do high school harry with a girl who hes just sat next to for most of the school year (therre so clearly in love but deny it) and idk he just doenst want to go to his lesson but also doesnt want to skip on his own so he asks her and they skip AND if you alright writing it they just get high (from personal experience 😇😇) and talk and you can make them do what ever i dont care

SKIPPERS | w2s

thank you anon for this request! personally love this idea and sorry if it is shorter than anticipated but if you would like another maybe where they go back to school or you meeting harry’s parents after this then lemme know!

harry lewis x reader!

requests are always open! check a previous post to see a list of those i would love to write for

The bell rang through the school as the commotion of the class and corridors began to rise, every student heading to their next class. She too added to that as she rushed to her next class. English, was a subject that she despised, but the boy she sat next to made it not so bad.

Her and Harry got arranged seating at the beginning of the year. As a result of them both being extremely sheepish when around new people caused them not to speak for the first few weeks and only exchanging smiles of acknowledgment when passing one another in the halls. One Friday the teacher set a pair assignment for the weekend, when both her and Harry bonded over the thought of comics being better than actual novels they soon realised their common interests did not stop at that.

Their english classes were not spent practically and somehow they did even less work than they used to. With a few warning and many classmate judgements the pair found themselves inseparable.

Whether it was them both ignoring the smitten nature of their relationship or they were too busy thinking of each other to think of the reason why, Harry and Y/n had both failed to acknowledge the obvious connection they had.

It became extremely obvious to their classmates and their friends that they talked about one another too much to be ‘just friends.’

She walked and waited outside Harry’s class waiting for the dismissal. Harry came out of the room, lugging his bag on one shoulder ruffling his hair with the other hand. “You alright?” She asked, furrowing an eyebrow at the distressed boy. “Yeah, yeah. Just knackered. Don’t want to do this bullshit of a class.” He moaned as they trailed alongside eachother.

“Harry it’ll be alright. We always have a laugh in English!” She exclaimed as she tried to put a smile on his face. “I really dunno. I don’t want to go. But I don’t want to bloody skip by myself either!”

He looked around aimlessly as he contemplated what to do. “Y/n, would you come skip with me?” He asked her, his eyes filled with hope.

“I thought you’d never ask!” She joked.

After they had managed to make it off school grounds they headed towards a football pitch secluded in the back of a park nearby.

“See! This is so much better than English!” Harry uttered as he dropped his bag on the ground, running to a football in the net. He brought it out and took a kick of it. The ball was quite filthy and deflated too but Harry was having an exceptional amount of fun. The ball hit the netting at the back of the net as Harry ran around in excitement. She giggled at him, admiring how much fun he was getting out of the sad little football he had found. He ventured for the football and brought it to the spot. “Have a go.”

“What?”

“C’mon! Have a go. It’s easy just do a little run up and kick with the inside of your foot.” He lectured her, running his hand across the inside of his foot whilst doing so. “Right then.”

She giggled as she ran slightly to the ball, watching Harry shout to her with words of encouragement. She kicked the ball and it flew into the net. Harry yelled and ran to the girl, embracing her as he swung her around. “That was class, y/n!”

“Harry! I just seen you bloody do that about six times!” She stifled a laugh, admiring the boys complete giddiness.

“Yeah but from you! That brilliant from you!” He stated as he walked back to his bag, propping himself against the post and he sat down. “Oi!” She hit the boy playfully over the back of his head, and sat down facing him.

At first they contemplated how they would manage to pass the remainder of the day out in the bitter cold but it was soon resolved when Harry brought some things for them to smoke.

Their bodies were soon warmed up and their minds were flowing. As they both lay on their stomachs and talked about their mates in school they noticed how much fun they were having and dodging the thoughts of any trouble they might get in later.

Harry couldn’t stop laughing at anything the girl said, he admired her true smile and how much it enhanced her beauty. His brain was fumbled. He finally admitted to himself this afternoon to his true feelings about her and he didn’t know how to act. He had pushed it away for so long so it didn’t bother him but now that he had admitted it to himself he couldn’t help but feel so out of place. He was awkward, fidgeting with his fingers and constantly running through his hair to the point where she asked,

“Are you okay?”

He stared at the girl blankly as his eyes grew heavy and his expression started to seep into confusion.

He then did something so impulsive that it even stunned him. He leaned in and she followed suit and then he connected their lips, the kiss was slow and sweet. She was a gentle kisser and her hands trailed to his hair slowly tangling through his blonde mess. She could feel him smile through the kiss and they slowly pulled away and he rested his forehead on hers and they both just smiled in content.

[xelamb]

helloo!! OH MY GOD I DONT EVEN KNOW IF PEOPLE WILL SEE THIS 😭😭

anyway, i've been getting so much tiktoks about this musical called "epic: the musical"? i get the gist of it, centered around greek mythos alr chill

then i heard one specific song, it went like "and ithica's WAITINGGGGG, MY KINGDOM IS WAITINGGGF!!!" and i was like this goes so hard and then i heaed god games and i went THIS IS SO HARD!

i wanna get into the musical but i don't know where to start?? i want to like,, meet and talk to someone who's OBSESSED and wants to yap ALL about greek mythos because i NEED to understand the story b4 diving in to really FEEL the musical YOU KNOW??? GODDDDD I WANNA GET INTO IT I JUST DONT KNOW WHERE TO START

[shittygaypornmagazine]

Maybe atheists from your own religion can talk about it then

https://www.tumblr.com/sophia-epistemia/731237402894581760/avoiding-your-beliefs-real-weak-points

Okay here we go. The pissing on the poor reading comprehension of this website together with the antisemitism is at it again.

First of all, hello! I am a stranger on the internet, who you might know as being Jewish! You don't know shit about my experiences with Judaism, of course, or what kind of Judaism I practice, if I even do, and hence have no understanding of "my own religion", however.

Second, this is the og post:

From its contents you might see that I am requesting ex-christian atheists not to put their religious traumas and biases onto other religions, something which results in nothing but silencing the voices of the people practicing/who practiced said other religions, erasing their unique experiences and trauma, which has nothing to do with Jesus and his followers.

Now, lets examine what you said and the link you sent me.

"Maybe the atheists from your own religion can talk about it then"

You said it. And by it, well... I assume you meant religious trauma in general. Which is, of course, something people who practice/d Judaism can and should talk about. I talk about it! All the time!

But see, the difference between what you're saying and what I'm saying, is that I talk about religious trauma within Judaism. I want to talk about it, but I don't want to hear an ex-christian person's opinions or takes on it. I dont want to hear about how "every religion is a cult actually" from a person who was a part of the religion whose extensive opression and antisemitism shaped mine. They fundamentally will misunderstand me and everything I have to say, as do you. I dont want to have to go through piles of comparisons to Christianity and the trauma it brought people every single time I want to get to the stuff that is relatable to me. Hell, I have trauma from it and I'm not even Christian! So fuck yeah I know about it! What I want to know is my people's stories.

That's where your link comes into play.

It is an amazing post, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It is a true account and critique of Orthodox Judaism from a person that experienced it first hand and I absolutely support it. I wouldn't have a problem with you sending it to me if it was for purely educational reasons, but there is a sort of gotcha in your tone (which might be coming from the dismissive "your religion" remark that is interestingly close to the wording "your kind").

See, my issue is that you have no idea who I am. You don't know that I had my own shitload of experiences with Orthodox Judaism and that it is the reason I currently I am where I am, faith-wise. You don't know the misogyny, homophobia and transphobia I've experienced. You don't know that I am currently actively looking for a Reform Judaism synagogue in the town I am planning to move to because I want to cleanse my experience of Judaism from all those associations. You think that by virtue of me asking ex-christians to stop putting their hands into every single punch bowl at the party, I dismiss the flaws of my bowl and its recipe. And that, is what I have an issue with.

Every religion and a way of practicing it has flaws. What matters is your experience of them. The way people around you treat those flaws. I want to be able to enjoy being Jewish while acknowledging the shitload of stuff that is wrong with it. Me and my partner are writing a whole book whose main character, Leroy, is all about it! About wanting to be understood by the traditions you were brought up with, and the struggle of them potentially rejecting you. I want to hear Jewish voices when I ask about problems related to practicing Judaism. I want to hear Islamic voices when I ask about issues related to practicing Islam. And yes, I want to hear Christian voices when I ask about the issues with practicing Christianity!

What I don't want, however, is someone else's hands in my punch bowl.

And yes, sometimes cross-referencing is very helpful. Sometimes bringing an outsider perspective is very helpful. But the key-word is sometimes. It should be an option, but it should never be the default.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex batman! I read the faq and I don’t thiiink you’ve gone into this in depth (haaaahahaha) before. Could you talk about options for non-penetrative sex? I myself am a person with a vulva and had a no-nipples mastectomy, all types of partner accepted.

In my case specifically, I don’t always like my genitals touched during sex, so I want to see what my options are, especially for other “receiving” type acts. Like. Massage? I loooooove hickies so that’s usually what I lean on lol. I also like being restrained in a submissive way but I don’t know what to ask my partner to do after tying me up, if I don’t want to be fucked or hit. I’m beyond happy to just give head all day but both I and my partners sometimes want the attention to be on me for a bit.

Do… other people have some sort of innate sense of what they want to do, and they just wing it? I feel like I’m doing the opening and closing the fridge bc you’re not drawn to anything in it but you’re hungry… but like for sex acts.

I’m sort of confused and scared that I don’t know what I want, and I don’t have a partner at the moment so I dont get much chance for uh. Group study. But I’m on testosterone HRT and listening to a court of silver flames (spicy fairy book) on audiobook so I am. Frequently Horny. Exhausted yeehaw. Whatever you can make of this I’m supremely grateful.

🐝

hi anon,

I have great news: if I were to list out every single sex act that isn't penetration this post would turn into a novel and we would be here for hours. sex can be anything you want it to be, involving any body parts you want and excluding anything that doesn't float your boat. anything that sounds fun to you, go for it.

there's no need to be scared about not knowing exactly what you like; very few people a born knowing they want to be hog-tied by a rodeo clown in a latex suit. that's why it's so important to play and explore, both alone and with partners, to find out what excites you and what you might want to try more of! not everything needs to be a slam dunk; it's fine just to try things on and see what sticks for you. the only way to learn is to give it a try.

[shiikiyun]

people into the heavily symbolic media when the media is heavily symbolic

im sorry but ill just never buy into this narrative. you dont have to agree with me when i say i forgive him or talk about the sympathetic traits i find in him but on this case i just cannot be swayed and im not taking talk backs. it doesnt make sense for his character nor for the story and theres a very easy very interesting interpretation of that frame anyway (he sees the funeral from the outside through his phone because his crime was entirely online and, unlike the other characters, there isnt a set location for anything pre/during/post murder. cause it was in his phone)

and on a personal opinion. taking this so literally and SWEARING up and down he physically showed up to the girl's house kind of defeats the whole point of his themes. every character has set themes and a societal problematic they represent (haruka- child neglect, the result of abandoning and outcasting someone from society all their life. shidou- dubious medical decisions, the ethics of very specific situations in the medical field. mikoto- overworking and masking, the consequences of a society that forces its people to conform to a norm, etc) and futa's is the mob mentality and shield enforced by social media that can easily corrupt anyone at all no matter how pure or noble their initial intentions/morals are. its about the twitter users that will kickstart harrassment campaigns before fact checking or over the most innocuous things (see: kpoptwt currently making up the most gross allegations en masse about the group lesserafim because of a made up rivalry with their label mate newjeans). if futa breached that line between online and real life by physically showing up to his victim's house (be it before or after the fact) the initial themes fall apart. cause then he's dangerous in. real. life.

at that point, what story do we want to tell? why is it that we need futa to be this horrible when his actions online are enough for people to be unable to forgive him? lets sit back for a second and question ourselves on the reason we have to turn him into a creep and believe he became a threat in real life to justify disproving his actions. why we cant simply judge him from his online behavior, that caused much harm than he couldve done in a face-to-face argument. cause that is the excuse people online will use. theyre not hurting anyone in real life, so why should their posts online define their character?

pd: you can bring up the fact that his professor situation was in real life. and youre correct. but that part of the story can easily be placed as the only needed merge of realities for his case: he didnt actually confront the professor, the university isnt as private of a place as a family house so he still has some anonimity (he made the post, but who took the picture? u could not tell if he did it himself or got it from other sources, we just know bc we saw it). not to mention it still correlates: hes brave through the screen, but a complete coward in the flesh. he took a picture of the scene whilst hiding and did nothing to stop it. as much as denouncing the professor is a good thing (and the only good thing he does in the mv), he was still a coward. as ive already explained, mixing the online actions with forced real life ones in the actual murder case he has misses this point

[sadstrever]

i’m still 114lbs. i feel sick. yesterday was an awful day, i came home and had an out of body chew and spit session. i wish there was more research on this part of ed’s, or just more people who talked about it because i can’t be alone in this. i refuse to believe i’m the only sick person who does disgusting shit like this. anyways the reason why i call it an out of body experience is because it’s almost like binging-just without all the swallowing of food. i came home and immediately started doing it and filled up 1 and 1/2 2 liter bottles with food. i spent 5 hours doing this without even realizing and pretty much emptied out my whole families fridge. the guilt i felt afterwards was worse than a binge in my opinion. not only did i totally waste SO MUCH food, make a huge mess, ended up with disgusting bottles of mush in my room, i also have to face the consequences of my family coming home to an empty fridge. but when they got home they were happy that i “ate.” god i’m such a fucking piece of shit.

anyways after all that i took 4 laxatives to try and get the guilt of wasting the food out of me. i woke up in the morning today in terrible pain but still had to go to class, cuz what am i supposed to tell my parents? “yeah i haven’t eaten in almost a month and basically just threw all the food we have out in the trash and i also took 4 laxatives, can i please stay home tehe?” so i went to 1 class and ended up leaving because the pain was so excruciating. straight from class i went to the gym and somehow burnt 900 calories because i guess that’s what guilt does to me. i had to take the bus 2 hours home afterwards(bus delays and i went to a new further gym location this time), high out of my mind. i’m home now and my stomach hurts but the laxatives finally did their job. i don’t want to keep doing this. 4 years ago i said i’d recover and then i didn’t. since then i’ve forgotten about recovery (with the exception of a few random moments here and there that i block out immediately), i am so used to living in this fucking misery that i didn’t realize how abnormal my reality is. i don’t want to be a bad person anymore. but i can’t stop lol.

this is what bothers me about the girls who romanticize this disorder SO MUCH, when much of the time they haven’t realized how difficult it can become. i know i’ve done this, even now sometimes as a coping mechanism. but man, i’m sick of it.

i have a friend who writes poetry and she wrote a poem about eating disorders that make me so fucking angry. the thing is, i’ve known her for years and she’s always had the best relationship with food out of most of the people i know. she’s naturally pretty thin(not too thin but normal) and she’s very open about her struggles. i know every single one of her stories, i know she’s diagnosed with adhd. that’s HER disorder, that i don’t understand so i DONT write fucking POETRY about it. a few months ago she kind of forced me into opening up about my eating disorder. after i did, suddenly she started writing these stories about her eating disorder-very very very suspiciously similar to mine. i obviously didn’t tell her everything but i told her about how long this has been going on and just my emotions about it. seeing her start to adapt my fucking disorder into her poetry disgusted me. she glamorized the fuck out of it and made me feel so stupid for ever opening up about it. she’s naturally skinny so she got a bunch of support from our friend group from it and i’m just upset man. i’m sick of living in misery while other people can use the idea of living in pain for attention.

i promised my best friend that in 3 weeks i’ll go back to therapy and try my best to recover. it’s not true. man it’s never fucking true. it’s never fucking over. unlike ms.deep-poetry-girl i can’t just fucking write this and log off and then eat a good warm meal and talk to my parents without them mentioning my body. i can’t wake up tomorrow morning and hug them without worrying that they’re gonna feel my bones. i can’t wear shorts anymore without people noticing the bruises. i can’t go to school and keep my focus because i have nothing to feed my brain. i can’t let anyone get close because soon enough they’ll be just like YOU. OR they’ll hate me for not wanting to get better. i can’t love myself like you do because of the disgusting things i do each day. i can’t wake up thinner and suddenly stop hating myself. FUCK YOUUUUUUUU GOD IM SO SICK OF IT GOD. whatever im done. just sick and tired.

[heeseungismymanz]

𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎

Synopsis: You and heeseung have been dating for about 3 months now. You both were the most popular people on the entire campus. It was all fine until you two got in a fight because of his ex. But now you have to go your own 𝒲𝒶𝓎.

Mentioning: All of enhypen (heeseungs friendgroup), yunjin lsfm (y/n bestie), yunah illit (heeseungs sister and your bestie), karina aespa (y/n bestie), keeho p1h (y/n ex), yeji itzy ( heeseungs ex ),more..

Pairing: Popular bf!Heeseung x Popular gf!Fem Reader

Taglist: @mitmit01 @mimisxs

Tropes: Loving to Hatred, Lovers to Exes, Friends to Enemies

BOLD = CANT BE TAGGED

Warnings: Cursing,Fighting,love language is pt so will hug,cuddle alot,nothing much,idrk! Tell me if i forgot something!

SFW MINORS ALLOWED!!

°•More under cut•°

"How am i grounded AGAIN and i have a basically broken leg?!" you ask while literally about to cry. Your at your dad's house and all you wanted to do was meet up with your boyfriend. And YOU personally didnt see a problem with it. But your dad did. "아빠는 그냥 친구예요! (dad hes just a friend!)" You yell. The only response he has is "그럼 지금 우리 친구에게 키스하는 건가요? (so we are kissing friends now?)" What was he talking about? Didnt he or like mom kiss their friends on the cheek when they were younger? Well Heeseung isnt just a friend but whats the big deal? You how old like 17? Does he want you to die single or something?. You didnt physically say it but in your mind you said "무슨 일이 있어도 나는 학교에 갈 것이다. (whatever im going to school.)"

Now your walking to school. May i mind you with a sprained ankle (that is NOT breaking your leg but wtv) and all you hear is "she really is weak!" or "ew her personality is giving ugly but her face is giving pretty!" those insults were WEAK to you and were super childish so you just walked by not giving a single fuck. Soon you made it to class. And the first class had to be math. Heeseung and Yeji sitting in a corner laughing ,smiling and just talking. Then your friends sitting in another death-staring them. You take a seat with YOUR friends and Heeseung's friends. "Hey guys!" You say smiling hiding the fact your annoyed seeing Heeseung and his EX together. "Hey ynnie!" Yunjin says first. You smile then use your phone texting Heeseung "Hey can we talk soon after class?" You see the bubble typing to see a new message "Sure.." What does he mean "Sure.." he's supposed to be the kind, loving boyfriend he always had been. Annoyed you decide to talk to Jake because who doesnt like talking to your boyfriends friend? "Hey jakey!!" You say loud enough for Heeseung to hear. "Oh hi yn!" he says smiling back with his big puppy like smile. "Wanna eat lunch together?" You also say really loud to the point Jay and Sunghoon asks "Can we join?!" at the exact same time. "Sure! Id love to eat with all of you. How bout all of us including Yunjin, Karina, and Yunah join and meet at that boba cafe near by!" You say smiling really big at Jake for no absolute reason then looking back to the others. "OOH YES!" Karina says. "Seems like a good plan" Yunah says. "I should invite hee-" Yunah trys to say "Oh no its fine hes with Yeji anyway. Im sure they have plans together for lunch!" You say practically aiming for them to not come while also cutting off Yunah. "Oh true! Plus we havent been all together for a while like this." Sunghoon adds. "Okay ill text the address." You say. "Also i cant go to any parties for like a week so :/" You add on. "What AGAIN?!" Jay asks. "Yeah i got in trouble for sneakin out tryna meet with someone i shouldnt see." Then the teacher walks in Yappa yappa yappa.

Heeseung texts you. "Lets talk now?" he asks. "Sure meet me at my locker." You text back. Honestly your really scared to the point you might even pee or poop your pants. You havent talked to him ever since the fight. So you dont really know what to say. You lowkey zone out for a few minutes til heeseung shows up. "What do you want?" He asks obviously NOT wanting to be there. "Why the fuck are you with Yeji? Am i NOT your girlfriend?" You asked him quite literally deathstaring him. "Listen she's better anyway like why'd you try punching her?" he asks as if he's trying to avoid the question. "Punching? So i started punching now?!" You say kind yelling in the school hallway. "WHY DOES IT MATTER TO YOU?!" He asks still avoiding the question. "Heeseung its my way or hers. Choose." You say literally annoyed to the point you might drop kick him like a kickball. "And what if i choose hers?" He says. "Im done with this fucking bullshit see me out of this relationship. All i was trying to ask was why your flirting with your ex!" You yell. "OH IM FLIRTING NOW?!" He yells back in defense. At this point Sunghoon, Jake, Jay, Karina, and Yunjin found you and Heeseung. You quite literally almost punched him but then Karina, and Jay held you back. Then you black out.

Now your in the nurses office. All you remember was Karina and Jay holding you back. Nothing more nothing less. The nurse walked in. " Yoon Yn im sorry to say this but you have bruises and have a serious head injury that might not heal really fast because you've been hit in the head by Heeseung." That fucking bitch. How'd you even like a man like that? All because you tried Sneakin out tryna meet with someone you shouldnt see.

AN: What an interesting way to end a chapter. Why is heeseung lowkey a bitch in this chapterrrr. Im so sorry i havent been updating but it's because my sports. I literally have volleyball games back to back every week.

< Previous - Masterlist - Next >

[roblogging]

Its not that i dont agree because i do but theres bigger conversations to have

I think theres bigger things in the world and your world than the reboot and those are conversations you could be having ie Gaza?

hi anon !!

i am SO glad this has started a conversation !! so fucking glad !! i've seen a lot of people discussing it on tiktok now (a lot of my mutuals too so ily). i'm glad we're talking about it now because as i said in another post here on tumblr (the one where i had 47 trans people reach out to me and tell me about the transphobia they've faced in the fandom) this is bigger than a reboot.

and i do have bigger worries in my world, you're so right. my world is so messy in so many ways.

which is why i discussed how to make This world, the marauders fandom, feel safer and more inclusive. because i don't want to be arguing with my hormone clinic about the prices being raised, as i do every two months when they're raised to try and steer me off of it, and then come home and "relax" in fandom to see people hyping up something that profits jkr. i think that's valid.

i think this is a valid discussion for this space, right? i think the "what about xyz" view of conversations is actually more harmful?? we absolutely can discuss more than one thing at a time but i do also think that the hyping up of a reboot of the franchise on which our fandom is built upon but claims to be entirely against the franchise creator? i think that's a very big discussion that absolutely does need to be had in a queer-based fandom that a lot of trans people engage in.

and because, as stated, we can discuss more than one thing at a time:

here is the link tree that is accessible via my tiktok (and has been for months). here you can find gofundmes for palestinian families that have reached out to me for support, charities for palestine, information on gaza, and resources for congo, sudan, and trans rights (also putting together a lebanon section <3)

here is a link to my "🇵🇸river to the sea🇵🇸" playlist on tiktok . the videos that i have made for palestine are all in there, and they all have resources in the comment sections (such as exchange rates, families to follow and support, and people within the fandom that are offering buddy systems for donations)

here is the link to my public favourites folder full of videos to boost, families to support, informative videos, ways to indirectly support etc.

and if you go to my tiktok here and check the third pinned video, that is for Haneen and her family who still need as much support as we can offer <3 (gofundme here: please be wary of exchange rates !! NOK is a very weak currency, hence why the amount of donations is so high but funding isn't)

i will continue to discuss what i believe strongly in, regardless of how many conversations that takes. there is no limit on support, and there is no end to change, and it is possible to discuss the things that harm us personally, and those that harm others at the same time.

what a silly thing to say i fear