#dont you just hate it when you cant get people in line yourself because you're not in charge??

[ralexsol]

i love when i make plans with other people and im super on top of it and everyone agrees to the plan. and then lo and behold nobody else goes with the plan

[midnightblues444]

Roommate Draken x fem reader

Part one | two | three

Summary: Draken cares about your friendship but is starting to feel the pressure to confess

Telling you was surprisingly the easiest part. You took it well enough, heading straight to Hanmas place to confront him, Draken assumes it went well because you came home single, and fuming.

The week after though, was hard to watch. You were sad, he could tell. Dismissing any mention of Hanma . And although Drakens not a big emotions guy, he wanted to do something to help you feel better that wasn't too obvious so he suggested a movie night.

Movie night: a sacred event in your household. It started in the early stages of you two living together and from then on became a thing you did when you really just wanted to hang out, and in this case to cheer you up.

Movie night is held in your room, on Drakens computer. You tried to have it in the lounge but for some really strange reason the lounge is freezing at night. Blankets arent enough to fight the cold night air coming through those big ass windows, so your room it is.

Draken brings his own pillows to add to the stack and you bring snacks. You seem content, the first movie starts, it's your choice, a real cheesy romance.

You boo when the couple kisses, and when they have romantic moments , by the end you're shoving your face into a nearby pillow.

"I dont get why your pissed, you picked the movie" Draken yanks the pillow from your face with a laugh

"I picked it to hate it" you sigh, "to represent my relationship with love"

"Loves not all bad, just give yourself time you'll find someone good" he says,

You loudly groan and dramatically shove your face into his chest, getting comfortable.

"Easy for you to say, you're the kind of guy women fall in love with, but me...I have these prolonged flings with people who barely know me"

"Hey, cmon i know if you let them know you,  they'd fall for you, no doubt" he gives you a look, and a pat on the head

The second movie starts, its Drakens choice, a really long actiony movie, you barely made it to the end.

"Ken ken, you're the best, you know that?" You sleepily mumbled into his chest, he hopes you dont notice how his heart beats faster at the comment, so he hums nervously.

He later realises, you're asleep. Glad you cant see him blushing. He slowly switches off the movie, moving the computer, then he tries to leave without waking you.

He tries to slip away, but you hold him tightly.

"Noo stayy" you yawn, with your last bit of conciousness.

He does as hes told and stays with you, that night. Wrapped up in his arms

When he retells the story to his friends, he doesn't understand why they look at him questionably.

"So you actually think (names) not into you? And I thought I was dumb" Baji laughs, Draken says the whole we're just comfortable to do that stuff speech he always gives when you guys cross a line.

"falling asleep on your chest dude and you actually think its platonic" Mitsuya adds shaking his head with a grin.

"I think you should confess and find out, kenchin" Mikey suggests, "look, we're all going clubbing next weekend so bring (name) with and shoot your damn shot before the next guy swoops in once again"

Draken remembers the feeling of seeing you with another guy. The way his heart sank when he'd hear your moans from the room next door, and how shit it feels when the person you were with didn't treat you well.

Maybe he should shoot his shot?

[pinkrifle]

If you're still taking requests, could I please get headcanons for the main 4 boys, Butters, and Wendy reacting to finding out reader is aro/ace? If that's too many characters then just Kenny, Butters, and Wendy would be fine.

— Kenny, Butters and Wendy finding out reader is AroAce! —

cws/tw’s: sex jokes/questions made by kenny

a/n: heyyy! thank you for the option of just the 3, i was kind of having trouble with writing cartman and kyle 😭 <3 i hope u enjoy this!! i loterally love writing for tyese 3 ty for requesting them ☹️☹️🫶🫶🫶

misc. notes: characters can be interpreted as any age, this is not supposed to be a sexual post at all!! gender is not specified, post will be platonic since not specified ^^ :3

— Kenny !!

doesn’t really care what you identify as as long as your not cartman (/j) but he’s still kinda clueless on what aro/ace is.

when you explain it to him he specifically listens to the asexual part of it, surprised when he finds out it means you have no sexual drive.

“YOU CANT HAVE SEX?? ☹️” “i mean your kind of on the right track?.. i just, dont want to”

definitely does not get it at all since he’s a big F-boy, but respects your nonchalant life. at least you won’t have to put up with annoying wives or nagging husbands forever.

gets more low-key with the dirty jokes, acts like it’s a deathly offense to you and says sorry when he says something dirty (or just whispers it to his friends), even if you don’t mind it he’s still cautious.

doesn’t know if he should talk about relationships that much with you, but you really don’t care since it doesn’t, and won’t involve you.

when someone flirts with you he sweeps in infront of you and acts all super man 😭 “VERY FINE CHOICE OF ATTRACTION BUT THEY ARE OFF LIMITS FOREVER 🙅‍♂️😙” it makes u giggle a little, then you tell the person your super not interested and kenny’s happy and pats himself on the back for his “hard work”

if you make a dirty joke around him he’ll laugh 100x more than before you came out to him, it’s just funny watching you make those jokes when he 100% knows you mean none of it (unlike him)

a little dumb on the subject but he’s got the spirit, hates when people flirt with you as much as you do!!! if your shy and get hit on he’ll drag you away and blow a muffled raspberry to the person

ACTS LIKE MYSTERION WHEN SOMEONE FLIRTS WITH YOU OR TRIES TO GET WITH U 😭 and if he is mysterion and he see’s someone doing that he’ll stand next to you and put his hands on his hips, motioning for the person to go away (even if you can perfectly do it by yourself)

kind of just goes on with his life after you tell him, he doesn’t really care but he does think your neat!! even tho he’s prone to crushing on everyone he probably loses his (romantic) love for you after a while.

— Butters !!

gets the hang of it super fast and is kind of protective of you when hanging around clyde and stuff, is okay with you “not being able to like someone”

kind of gets it mixed up with you not wanting to date FOREVER instead of just feeling very slow/little attraction, but the more you remind him he more he tries to screw it in his head.

he doesn’t focus much on sex and stuff like kenny does, so the asexual part is mostly just extra info from you. but he is a little bit of a lover boy (to other girls/boys) so he does get confused on that little to no romantic attraction part, (he’s still respectful <3 MY BELOVED)

if someone flirts with you he’s all like “woah fella !! they are off limits today!! move along please!!” and hates when people do dirty pick up lines on you, he just tugs on your sleeve and makes an angry face at the person

sympathizes with you more than anyone else, but he still has no idea what it is. he’s just happy his friend wanted to share a piece of sacred information with them, and just because of that he feels much better revealing his marjorine side to u. (are u lgb cuz ur gun pink… /ref)

accidentally outs you to a few people, thinking it’s a good thing but it kinda makes you upset since you don’t want it to be shared with EVERYONE. definitely apologizes 100000 times <\3 butters just wants to give the world to his bestie, but sometimes he does weigh you down

looks it up on his computer every once in a while, just to learn more about it. googles how to make a lgbt friend feel comfortable and he does some of the steps pretty wonky 😭

asks you about your identity a lot, like when you figured it out and what are the pro’s and con’s? this man is such a talker, he loves his friends and would do anything to make them feel okay (even tho nobody does it to him ☹️)

when his parent’s think you guys are dating he almost explains it to them without asking, but he encourages you to tell them you have no attraction to anyone at all. and if your uncomfortable saying it then he does it for you!!

educates himself on more things in the lgbtq community rather than aroace, it kind of bores him but anything to keep his little brain going!!

tries to not talk about it when your upset, or jus not to much in general since he doesn’t wanna look like he’s just getting gay bff points. he doesn’t care about your sexuality!! he just wants to have someone to play hello kitty adventure with, and being aroace doesn’t stop you from doing much 🫶

— Wendy !!

UNDERSTNDS IT SM since she is super educated on a lot of things and is an expert at comforting her friends, she has no problems figuring out what it means and trying to help you in the best ways possible.

doesn’t know if she should talk about her relationship with stan/bebe (depending on if u like either ship LAWL) and isn’t afraid to ask if your comfy with her talking about her struggles and non struggles.

if your comfortable with it then she’ll talk about it but tries to not be so bold about it, just small problems and if you give her advice on how to deal with them she’s forever grateful.

if your uncomfortable with it she reassures you it’s no problem and she’ll try her best to sympathize with you and your identity as much as she can.

if someone flirts with you she politely tells them your off limits, and if they keep doing it she goes mama bear mode and tells them to stop. she won’t hesitate to kick someone’s ass to make you comfy!!

never dares to even think about outing you, makes sure your comfortable and feel welcome whenever your coming out to more people with her. doesn’t push you to do anything regarding coming out!!!!

she feels like she doesn’t know more about it and always takes time out of her day to research more on the topic, what’s offensive and what’s not so she won’t fuck up and make you upset one day.

makes sure all her friends know not to flirt with you, trying her best not to out you. let’s you come out to her friends yourself and always corrects someone if they try to make a move on you.

always takes care of people if their making you upset, nobody fucks with her besties >:(

supports u during pride month and buys you all this pride stuff, she’s the typa girl to see something rainbow and text it/ show it to you saying “it’s rainbow i thought of you :)”

buys you all pride flags you want, if you have homophobic parents that don’t like the fact your being accepted for your identity she offers to keep the pride stuff at her house and jus gives it to you when you want it.

THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE !!! I HAD LIKE LITTLE TO NO TROUBLE FOR THESE 3 <3 sorry this was like 8 hours late omfg ☹️ i try to get everything done within one day ^^

[n7punk]

I know you write for yourself but do you ever ask your homies for feedback or advice on drafts or ideas?

oh yeah. that's just growing as a writer. i dont like, send drafts or anything, but i might ask for votes on an idea, or advice on something that's not working, or just talk through it with them to get there on my own. one of my friends has beta read for other people and another is a writer herself, so they can be a good resource when im having trouble, even if it's just sending a sentence and being like what is WRONG with the grammar here someone fix me LMAO. sometimes you get advice and then immediately realize what you actually want to do and it's not the advice you were given, but if it isn't what you were going to do before you asked someone, that's still helpful! it's not something i do that often because i like to just do my own thing, but it's definitely helpful when i do.

oh, thank you! it's something i have a lot of fun with. it's not something you can really do in any medium BUT fanfiction or like, a reboot, you know? so i really like to play around with it here. It's like, all my fanfictions are dozens of parallel universes revolving around the same characters and concepts, and i like seeing all the ways i can spin those out. i also just really like putting in references to canon. i always love when people pick up on a line i referenced or something.

lol you're welcome! it was a pretty different angle i've wanted to poke at before, but usually she's too emotionally constipated to even get that far lmao. in this case, she channeled that into a coping mechanism and it worked out.

it's so funny that this dumb little story is what has elicited so much, but i think it's mostly because the responses are centered in my inbox rather than the comments this time around. like, i can check my inbox and have five messages, and then there's only one new comment on the fic. and yeah, i can guess that's because it's so horny LMAO

unrelated, but im almost done with my first draft of the last chapter, so the next chapter should be coming along fairly soon even if im going to have a busy weekend. and now, more spoiler asks beneath the cut

you get it <3 ive loved how many people have gotten it because i was a little worried with this one people would be Unhappy with the direction so im glad i havent gotten any hate anons lmao. it has been so much fun to write and explore. on the sensory front, oh boyyyyy is this girl autistic. It's directly implied in chapter four, actually, though adora isn't formally diagnosed. and muscle tees are like. catnip on butches. it was made for them so like, good taste.

ohhhhh boy. what ISNT in the scene in LMR lol. I have never had a fic outlined like i did for this one. Like half the conversations came to me while i was lying in bed trying to fall asleep or wake up and i had all of that to work with (and tame) when i went to write.

I started working on it in late december and it's been my "bedtime story" for the most part since then, so a lot of the scenes played out there, which is where Scenes usually originate from. i had a really full outline from that. i had so many scenes that i had to cut and combine some that i really liked because they were just superfluous and would have dragged it down even if they were good on their own. or i had multiple versions of one conversation that i had to pick the best fit between, or when it came time to write it i had to buck the outline even though i liked what i already had because something else was a better match.

basically all of chapter 3 is A Scene. several scenes are in 4 and 5, too. i couldn't really pull just one thing but... god no i was trying to pick one and i cant. chapters 3-5 is my answer lmao. chapter 2 is the only thing i didnt have any Scenes for, that was basically just a hole labeled [insert smut here] while i was planning it, and chapter one was finished so early on that there's not really a Scene there, but nearly everything in chapter 3 onward is a contender for The Scene.

[bugs-in-the-dirt]

hey, just a reminder:

not everyone hates you.

not everyone wants to toy with and abuse you.

your feelings matter.

your opinions matter.

i know you think yourself scum of the earth for being all these things people hate.

you want to be someone different. you want to be free from this pain.

you shouldnt feel the need to escape.

i know you personally, i know youre a good person. you prove it to me every day.

i understand you struggle to get your words out due to trauma, i see how hard you try.

youre amazing to me, you know that? and it hurts so much to see you in so much pain.

these people that hurt you dont understand you, they fear someone so kind could only be the cruelest of minds in disguise in such a cruel world.

youre too good to be true, and somehow you hate yourself for it. you feel like youre not enough for anyone no matter how hard you try.

well i'll be the first to tell you its not your fault.

its not your fault you were born Caucasian. you are not what everyone says you are because of your ethnicity and skin color. youre not racist for being white, youre not a white supremacist for being white, and you shouldnt feel guilty from the weight of everyone elses trauma. you didnt hurt anybody.

its not your fault you were raised Roman Catholic. you are not what people may say you are because of the religion you were raised with. youre not antisemitic for being raised Catholic, you arent an in-your-face self important Christian for being raised Catholic, and you shouldn't feel responsible for the trauma others have inflicted on each other. you never hurt anyone.

it is not your fault you are American. you did not colonize the continent, you just live here. you dont disrespect the native peoples in any way, in fact you have them in high regards, yet you feel guilty for existing.

it is not your fault for being unaware or not knowledgable of people you thought hated you because of who you are.

it is not your fault you suffer from their negativity, it is not your fault they dont understand you.

you are not automatically a bad person or offensive for simply being alive, and you should not feel thats not true and that you should condemn yourself to death on everyone's behalf.

you have such kindness in your heart and self loathing on your mind, you put so much pressure on yourself to be better and are too hard on yourself.

youre only one person. you're affect on the world is small, you cant hurt the entire world when youre as isolated as you are. yet everyone's words around you seem to stab you to death more times in your entire life than anyone could count. you just wanna help people, you just wanna be trusted, you just wanna be loved. you want to feel like you matter, and im so sorry you never got that growing up so far.

its not your fault, i promise. youre gonna be okay, you'll make it to the end of the finish line i promise. just please dont hurt yourself anymore. and dont let anyone else hurt you either. you matter to me, okay? be safe for me, i love you.

-kyle

[tannieastrology]

Astrology Observations #2

After a long hiatus i'm back with a few observations I've made in the time I was gone. Hope you like it:)

🥀 Neptune in the 5th house may frequently get into a unhealthy one sided love if they don't learn to stop ignoring the red flags in the person their interested in. The presence of Neptune in this house makes you delusional towards your interest and blurs the line between love and obsession. It's the fact that yall chase after people who are obviously not good for you in the first place. Remember guys, reciprocation is very important in love and if you're not their number 1 then they shouldnt be yours either. My advice would be to stop making scenarios in your head and to take them for what they show you NOT what they could be. Learn to assert your boundries and stop romanticizing people who do the bare minimum you deserve better.

🥀 Pisces Venus and getting scammed by their own love interests smh. People who have this placement need to be careful with who they get involved with. My cousin had this placement and she was dating this guy from Australia who was trying to come to America. They were in a relationship for 5 years and when they got a court marriage he got the green card and ran away. So basically he used her for her own benefit and when he got what he wanted he left. Most men she got with ended up treating her so bad but they seemed pretty nice at first. That's what Neptune does. Wherever it's in your chart could be where you are taken advantage of and easily decieved so be extra cautious.

🥀 Mars in the 12th house have terrible sleeping schedules. They're the type to stay up during night and sleep during the day and then take their anger out on everyone because they're sleep deprived. This is me telling you right now to fix your sleeping schedule and even though you might find more peace at night humans are not nocturnal. Who knows y'all not getting the right amount of sleep could be the reason why you feel so depressed.

🥀 Capricorn moons when are you gonna stop running away from your emotions. Life would be so much easier if you just learned to deal with your trauma and forget about the expectations that your loved ones have for you. I know life is unfair to you and your parents dont give you the love you deserve, but that doesnt mean you dont deserve to be happy. It's hard for people to love you if you push them away. Having a crush on someone with this placement, if underdeveloped, is not fun especially if he's a guy because they dont understand their emotions and dont put effort to understand them either. However, these are some of the most loyal, hardworking, mature people I have ever known when developed. They'll make you feel safe and loved in their arms if the truly love and care for you. They're good people but just have a wounded innerchild, that's it. Deep down I know y'all are softies so stop hiding it. Not everyone is out to get you I promise . Also please consider therapy.

🥀 Lilith in Scorpio women give maneater energy for some reason. Its hard to explain but they have this allure to them that people cant resist. Ex- Beyonce, Anne Hathaway, Taylor Swift, Briggete Bardot, Vanessa Paradis.

🥀 Venus square ascendant people I swear your beautiful stop thinking you're ugly. Sometimes you guys dont see your own beauty and the effect you have on people. You have the ability to turn heads when you walk into a room, but you dont see that because of the unbelievably high standards you've set for yourself. You're beautiful but the way you percieve what beauty is, doesnt align with your appearance or reality. Maybe it couldve been because people always commented on your appearence growing up or you feel pressured by society. Remember that beauty is the eye of the beholder. Just because you think your ugly doesnt mean that you actually are, youre just not your own type.

🥀 Mars square Uranus combined with Venus/Moon to Pluto is the epitome of enemies to lovers in synastry. Its like you hate them so much but have this unbelievable urge to slam them against the wall and kiss them. That person will annoy the shit out of you but the attraction is always underlying there and it gets hard to ignore. If you wanna a healthy relationship though, I would steer clear from this synastry because its toxic.

🥀 Lilith in the 2nd house/Taurus are what I would imagine a material girl to be. They love luxury things and will find a way to get what they want if they set their eye on something. Also they might get a certain job or enter a career just because it pays well. They're pretty hedonistic in general and love sex or anything Taurus/Venus related. Alot of the women here have nicely shaped bodies and lips even if theyre on the skinnier side. However, they could have eating disorders and body dysmorphia.

🥀 Leo Venus are so cute you guys remind me of a little puppy begging for attention:/ The thing is, yall are too flighty for my liking. A guy I know liked 2 girls at the same time and one of them even like him back and she asked him out, but he said no because he like the other one more like dude??? The other girl even had boyfriend but still he said no. Then he had the audacity to complain about the fact that he's never been in a relationship before. These people are more in love with the idea and attention of love then actually being in a relationship. As a Capricorn Venus this placement is a red flag sorry.

🥀 Saturn square Venus in synastry is so sad to watch its literally right person wrong time as a placement. The couple I was talking about above had this placement and they didnt end up together because they liked each other at different times and everyone ships them too but it just never happened. The girl was the Venus and the guy was Saturn.

🥀 Virgo Mars are secretly little freaks and if they have aspects from Saturn it could be someone who's into bdsm. I met a guy with this placement and he used to call me master and ma'am. For some reason i could sense the sexual undertone in his voice but idk. Virgos in general are the definition of gentlemen/lady in the streets freaky in the sheets, so keep your eye on them.

🥀 Taurus and Cancer together in the big six gives major milf energy.

🥀 Capricorn and Virgo together in the big six gives dilf energy.

🥀 I hate stereotyping placements in astrology but damn Gemini Venus men are fuckboys sorry. My bestfriend has this placement and he told me he like 4 girls at once. Also he dated all of his best friends and while one of them was in a relationship he asked her out while she was dating the other guy. He got rejected but still. I think this applies to guy with a Gemini Sun though because I've observed that Cancer Sun Gemini Venus guys behave differently.

🥀 Leo risings are not as confident as youd think. People I know with this placement are super insecure and have a love hate relationship with their hair.

🥀 10th and 11th house synastry is seriously so slept on. If you want a ride or die lover go find someone you have this synastry with. Major power couple vibes.

That's all for today don't hesitate to give feedback:)

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Being Franks Daughter in Hawkins pt 10

Gif Caption: Top Gif: Marc and Steven from Marvel's Moonknight, Bottom Gif: Billy Hargrove from Netflix's Stranger Things

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Reader: 17-18 | female

Characters Mentioned: Frank Castle (MCU), Matt Murdock (MCU), Marc Spector/Steven Grant/ Jake Lockey (MCU), Peter Parker (MCU), Curt Hoyle (MCU), Dinah Madani (MCU), Karen Page (MCU), Billy Hargrove (ST), Steve Harringotn (ST), Dr.Sam Owens (ST), Joyce Byers (ST), Will Byers(ST), Mike Wheeler (ST), Jim Hopper (ST) Nancy Wheeler (ST), Lucas Sinclair (ST), Dustin Hednerson (ST), Max Mayfeild (ST), Jonathan Byers (ST)

A/n: Here we go shits goin down just wait till i make billy and Y/n fight

Warnings: Guns, fighting with Billy, chaos is a comin around the corner.

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So you rushed to get the kids at school, driving quickly to the middle school.

Parking in the first spot you seen just in time as the bell rang.

You got out and quickly went to stand by the bike racks.

Mike was the first out, and certainly in a rush.

"Y/n-"

"We need to go." Y/n deamnded.

"No. I need to go to Will's house-"

"Exactly," y/n spoke picking his bike up with ease.

"Hey!" Mike argued, Y/n carrying it to the car and putting it in the back, "Thats my bike! Be careful!"

"Kid! I could give less than one fuck about a bike. Hell. I'll buy you a new one- I know about Will."

Mike looked up at her as she closed the trunk.

"You know about the Shadow Monster-"

"Yeah. Fucker had will draw me." Y/n informed, "Where are the rest of your friends."

"They dont know Will's been seeing it. Just. I do." Mike told, "Im just going, we lost Dart."

"Dustin's pet?" Y/n asked.

"I'll explain on the way."

The two got in but a hand slammed ontop the car on her side.

"You." Billy growled, "what The FUCK is happening. You were just arrested a few hours ago! What did you tell them?"

"I dont have time for this-"

"Oh no- You're gonna fucking answer me!" Billy argued, "Now Y/n!"

"Stay in the car." Y/n told Mike as she got out slamming the door closed.

"I suggest you back up Billy." Y/n threatened

Real names were being used, this was getting serious

He took a step forward they beyond invading personal space now, "Or what."

"Watch yourself." Y/n warned.

"What did you tell them?" Billy questioned once again.

"What? Bout you?" Y/n argued voice raising, "about what your dad does? Bout there Shit justice system. About how you Let it happen-"

"Shut up. Now." He demanded.

"Why? Because you cant swallow the fucking truth?-"

He grabbed her forearm, face leaning in closer.

"And whats the truth."

"You already know the truth: You came to me I helped but you asked me to stop- to not cross that line, yet you know in a god damn heart beat I'd cross that line for you. Its at the back of your throat but you wont swallow it." Y/n argued, "Now let the fuck go of me Billy. Before I break your arm."

He threw her arm to the side, both still in each other's face: "I fucking hate you," he deemed.

"I'll go cry about it then." Y/n shot back turning around to get back in the car and starting to drive off.

"You're dead to me Castiglione! DEAD!" he shouted as she drove off.

You drove off in heavy silence, Mike afraid to even talk

But you obviously distressed.

"You...okay?" He asked.

"Yeah...Yeah nothing I can handle..." Y/n lied with a smile, "Remember. Secret Supehero."

He looked over at her, "Why do older people lie to everyone?"

Y/n sighed: "I don't know."

It was silent the rest of the trip.

You had said you'd cry about it to Billy in sarcasm, but soon as you let Mike out the car to go to Joyce you sat on the porch trying not to cry

Hopper was leaving, shove over his shoulder when he spotted you

Dad mode?

Yes

He took a seat next to you, handing out a pack of cigrattes out to you

"Should a cop be giving a teen a cigratte?"

"Yeah well. We do stupid shit when we're upset." He explained as she took the carton, "plus I was a teenager once."

"Thanks."

She pulled out one and lit it with ease handing it back to him.

"Don't make it a habit."

"I wont." Y/n told rubbing her face, "You know. I moved from New York to Hawkins for some peace."

"Seems like the chaos followed you." Hopper told as he lit his own cigratte.

Y/n chuckled under her breathe, "Chaos follows me everywhere."

"Me and you both kid." Hopper spoke, taking a long inhale of his cigratte before blowing the smoke out his nose.

"Come on." He spoke.

"What?" Y/n asked.

"Come on. Lets go diggin."

Odd but. You follow him anyways

This time he didn't put you in hand cuffs.

And he took you to the farms.

You both got out and he told you to start digging

"For what? Roots?"

"No. Just dig until you hit something." He explained pulling out a pistol, "You know how to use that?"

"Revolver, Sam & Wesson. Model...67?" Y/n spoke looking over the revolver, "Sorry. 66."

He looked at her surpises as she tucked it in the back of her jeans and grabbed her shovel starting to dig.

"Well? Are we diggin? Or are you standing there?" Y/n asked.

He'd proceed to dig with you, making small talk along the way

He actually laughed when you told him you had done what you had to Neil Hargrove

Hopper explained he never liked Neil and that you beating Neil up kinda had made his week.

Apparently from what you could piece together: Neil had said he touched you: got into an arguement over something and it escolated.

He said it was good that you knew how to defend yourself

"My dad taught me." Y/n explained, they both take a small break sitting in the hole "but I have a feeling you don't like him."

"Barely know the guy." Hopper told her.

"I think it's about Joyce." Y/n spoke, "Ya know. Pretty ol Joyce Byers."

He rolled his eyes, smoking his break time cigratte.

"Hard to let someone go you love kid."

"I know..."

"thats what she wants and shes happy. Thats the only bad part. You think you can make her even happier but it doesn't get better than that kid." Hopper lectured with a stretch, "Don't think I've seen Joyce so happy before."

Y/n nodded standing up grabbing the shovel again, they both getting back to it.

"It plays out how it should in the end." Y/n spoke up, "Right?"

Hopper nodded, "Right."

The two contuined digging themselves what could of been there own graves

Tossing dirt over there shoulders and up top till Y/n hit something

"Here."

They both quickly dug and pulled at the black vine like goo

Creating an opening.

"What in the name of America's ass..." Y/n spoke dipping her head downward into the what she assumed was tunnels.

"Fuck- what are you doing-"

Y/n dropped in, with ease. If she was going to be involved might as well as be invested.

She landed on her feet looking both ways Hopper dropping in behind her.

"Well I'll be damned..." Hopper aspirated they both shocked at what was surronding them.

You only pushed forward Revolver in hand

Hopper stopped her, he cutting off his sleeves

"Airs toxic." He explained as she took it from him tying it around her head to make a makeshift mask.

"Just like my realtionship with Stark." Y/n sighed pulling a small flashlight from her boot.

The thing about being in front is your use to Frank keeping up, or you keeping up with Frank

You're use to fast pace, you can sight see later

So when you push on and loose Hopper you're kinda fumbernucked

"Chief!?" Y/n shouted looking around, "Cheif!"

"Oh fuck...I should of listened to Marc..." Y/n sighed contuining on, "what are the odds he's down here with his bird mother fucker..."

She looked around, but the shouting from Hopper caught her attention, she quickly rushing after him.

"Cheif! Cheif!" Y/n shouted looking around "Cheif!!"

Y/n looked down feeling something wrapping around her ankles, "Fu-"

She was pulled by the ankles and too the ground, being dragged down a tunnel.

"Fuck! I just wanted a Normal fucking school year!" Y/n protested in anger as she tried to grab onto something. Her shouting only echoning in the distance.

Meanwhile Dustin was trying to find SOMEONE ANYONE to help him

He was knocking on the Wheeler's door. Just to get an uncaring answer from Mr.Wheeler

"Son of a bitch, you no help at all." Dustin complained walking away.

"Lanuage!" Mr.Wheeler complained shutting the door as Steve had pulled up flowers in his hand he muttering to himself.

"Yeah. I made a mistake. Okay. These are an apology gift for Y/n but I dont know what Im apologizing for even though I do but nothing happened at the halloween party just. I dont know how to tell her what did happen." Steve muttered to himself, he going to ask Nancy for help, and for an apology to Y/n herself, Steve felt like Nancy could atleast do that, "yeah makes sense...:

"Are those for Mrs. Wheeler?" Dustin spoke up.

Steve looked up, "what no-"

Dustin grabbed them, "hey! Man-"

"Do you still have that bat?"

"What?"

"The one with the nails?"

"Yeah. Why?" Steve asked.

"I'll explain on the way lover boy. I need to go to Y/n's house."

So Dustin explained it to him, how he kept a baby demogorgin, and how he named it Dart

And how it REALLY didnt like you

Like. Despited you

"So?" Steve spoke, "You're freaky little pet didnt like Y/n-"

"Im assuming it'll go after her, and she doesnt know anything about the-"

Steve immediately floored it, driving faster to her house.

"Dude! Calm down!"

"If that thing Kills her Henderson, I'll make sure she drags you down to the grave with her!"

"Okay! Okay!"

They make it to your house and Steve bangs on the door.

Frank answers it, cup of coffee in his hand, must've just gotten home from work.

"You better have a good reason for-"

"Is Y/n home?" Steve asked frantically.

"No." Frank spoke, "She went with you last night-"

Matt joined Frank at the door.

"Is something wrong?" Matt questioned, "Y/n's not with you?"

"She's most likely with Billy-" Steve brushed off, "Yeah. There..."

"Probally out at a party." Dustin finsihed.

"Y/n hates parties." Frank argued.

"Yeah! But you know Y/n always the...life of stuff! We're gonna go." Dustin contuined as they both quickly walked away to Steve's car and quickly drove off.

"I'll get my suit." Matt spoke walking off.

Meanwhile your still stuck in the Upside down, hanging upside down, blood rushing to your head as more vines hold your arms straight down.

"What a bunch of a holes leaving me upside down...like atleast sacerfice me in a cool way."

"Hopper!? Hopper!?" A female called from the distance, it was Joyce.

"Oh thank god!" She cried out, she must've gotten Hopper out from wherever he was trapped.

"Kid! Kid!"

"Im here!" Y/n called, "Over here!"

The small group walked towards her, "Who's that?" Y/n asked.

"Im Bob. Im a friend of Joyce."

"Hi Bob Im Y/n. Joyce is dating my dad."

"What are you doing?" Hopper asked.

"Oh Just ya know. Hanging around with Mephisto's sperm." Y/n stated in a matter of fact tone, and glared at him, "What the fuck do you think Im doing!?"

So they helped you down and all of you luckily got out of there of course after being fuckin jumpscared by some guy in a hazmat suit

Your so done with different relams

Cant you just call Dr.Strange for this to be done?

God you wish

When you get out you're panicking seeing what's clearly a goverment operation

But then Will goes into what you can only describe as a severe seizure

Fuck the goverment now.

Wills in obvious pain and your main focus is to get him up and okay

But as quick as you go to help him your shoved away.

Unlike the others you actually detained, despite everyone's shouting for your release.

You fighting them to the best of your ability without severely injuring anyone

But they detain you anyways

And wow. Hawkins Lab who could of guess

There violent with you, or alteast of the verge of violent

They scrub you down with a damn hose while your in cuffs, they've cuffed your ankles.

This is beyond you just knowing now. They have to know something else.

And your chained to your chair, you had bit someone so they muzzled you

A doctor walked in, older man.

"Hello Ms.Castiglione." he spoke tossing a thick file on the table, "what do you prefer?"

Y/n glared at him, "Ms.Castiglione? Or Ms.Castle?"

She didnt answer as he sighed, "Perhaps Ms.Russo?"

"Fuck. You." Y/n spoke, venom dripping from her lips, "My name. Is Y/n Castiglione my father is Franklin Castiglione. I don't know a Russo. "

He nodded, "Alright. Lucky for you it was just a side research on my part. No one else knows."

Y/n was quiet as he opened up the file, "Multiple Premeditated and Conducted Murders. You're quiet Bust Ms.Y/n. I do thank you for taking down that molester slash serial killer, just before you moved to Hawkins. Horrible person he is."

"What do you want? Me to be quiet?"

"Infact. Yes. But I don't think that'd be a problem. With all your...past lets call it?" He explained, "Now I could care less about your track record. Wipe it clean for you if you do me just one small favor. Both you and your dad's track record."

"What."

"Why does this...entity. lets call it. You know. Where you were trapped?"

"The upside down." Y/n filled in.

"Sure. Yes." He went along with, "The upside down. What connection do you have with it?"

"It tried to kill me." Y/n told, "thats the only connection I have to it. Not a good one if you ask me."

"Why is it scared of you?"

"Shit." Y/n spoke leaning back in her chair, " why arent you asking yourself that? Aren't you afraid of me? You're the one threating my track record."

He shifted in his seat: he's uncomfortable.

"Now." Y/n spoke standing up, chains falling off her body, she pulled the muzzle from her face, red lines showed where it once pushed deep into her skin, "Shall we? Doctor-?"

Y/n looked at him as he sat in shock, she leaning in closer.

"Owens." She spoke, "Doctor Owens. Can We go? If its afraid of me. Dont you want me out there?"

He took you around the Lab, you thought you were going to see Will but ended up with Hopper

Both given hazmat suits which you decided against and just took a respirator.

Thats when you seen it for the first time.

The gate.

Unlike Hopper or the others you did hesitate to go and walk up to it.

It was like an infection, that spread throughout a body and that body was loosing

You reached your hand out but it retracted immediately and spread else where.

"What the fuck..." y/n laughed looking back at Hopper who had been yelling at her the whole time to get back.

But did you?

No

You walked through the gate, becausw fuck it at this point

You still dont understand how this place, or thing, or whatever is afraid of you

Can a place be afraid of you? That just doesnt sit right

Unless this Shadow Monster affecting Will is controlling this place

That would make more sense, but why?

Hopper was yelling at you to be careful when you realized it and rushed back through the portal

It knows who you are and if it knows who you are, it knows who your dad is what you both are.

You demanded to know where Will was, and Dr.Owens wouldnt tell you, so you pulled a gun from a gaurd on him.

Eventually you got it out of him and rushed to see him, Dr.Ownes behind you

Will was surpised to see you, and so was Joyce who quickly stood infront of Will's bed.

"Leave now." Joyce demanded.

She knows, "Joyce. Mrs.Byers. please. Let me explain-"

"Explain what?" She questioned, "That you killed people. Both you and you're dad!? The Punisher!? Really!?"

"Mrs.Byers those people had the right to die!" Y/n argued, "you don't understand-"

"No. I don't!-"

"Mrs.Byers. Please. Those people killed children." Y/n explained to her, her expression seemed to let up just the slightest, "Its how I ended up with Frank to begin with. He has my back, and I have his. I may have killed people but I wouldn't lie to no one. Especially not you."

"Why wouldn't you- Frank. Tell me." She asked, genuinely heartbroken.

"I. Its not something you can go flashing around." Y/n explained, "Look. You know me. You know my dad. Frank. My dad loves you and you know he'd do anything for you and your family."

Joyce slowly dropped her shoulders, "i get it. I do. Its scary." Y/n explained.

"But I know. For a fact. That If I can help save any of you. I would." Y/n contuined taking a few steps closer, "and that thing, knows I can do some serious damage. Let me help you."

She sighed, and nodded, Y/n sighing in relief, but wasnt expecting the hug that came next.

Joyce Byers was hugging you, after your whole identity was releved to her.

You don't think you've had anyone hug you after someone knew of well. You killing people.

So Joyce allows you to contuine to help

You sit besides Will.

"Hey bud...do I...scare you?" Y/n asked.

He shook his head no, "No...you're a good person."

Y/n smiled holding his hand,

"Are you kidding?" Mike added, "Your a totally bad ass! Taking down Badguys! I knew you were a superhero!"

Y/n laughed, "thank you Mike...But Will,I scare that thing?"

He nodded.

"Why? Do you know?"

Will shook his head no, "It doesnt like your friends either."

"My friends?" Y/n questioned.

"You're new york friends" He explained, "it doesnt like your dad either."

Y/n was silent for a moment, "fuck-"

Y/n got up quickly, "Where are you going?" Joyce asked.

"Its after my family!" Y/n argued, Dr.Owns throwing her keys.

"Take mine." He spoke, "go!"

You've never rushed off so quick before.

But he never told you what car he drives, and you got fucking annoyed and just broke into one and hot wired it and was off at the speed of light

Plus it was dark outside making it worse.

"Fuck. Marc I could really use you now!" Y/n argued, "Should Of just fucking listened! But No! You wanted a boyfriend! A normal life! Fuck a normal life!"

Y/n made it to her house, jumping out the car and rushing inside the house, no one home.

"Dad! Matt! Matthew!" Y/n shouted, curising as she looked around, "Karen! Peter!"

She walked into his room, "Curt!? Madani!"

No one. She went into her room, pushing over her bed, with ease and going to the loose floorboard.

"Fuck... Y/n cursed, but paused, looking at the vest, she could take it, put it back on.

Instead she grabbed the hatchets besides holstered on a belt.

"I can do this without you." She spoke, covering the floorboard and grabbing knifes from her wall.

"Thank god for Loki." Y/n spoke kissing one of the blades before holstering them on her belt.

Y/n covered the hole again and left to find her family.

You walked out the house, looking up at the full moon and screamed at the top of your lungs for Moonknight.

You were glad when part of the moon became blocked out, it Marc in the ceremonial armour landing at your feet.

"Now you need me?" Marc asked the coustume breaking away.

"Get in the damn car." Y/n ordered getting in the driver seat, "I need Steven."

"Well of course you do." Steven spoke getting into the passanger seat, "What is it today love? Midnight sons? Ancient Egyptian battle-"

Y/n speed off quickly, "Well slow down!" Steven complained.

"Theres a gateway here in Hawkins. To what they call the Upside down- It knows about me and Frank. I dont know where he is! And You need to help me!"

"Where the bloody hell would he be?" Steven asked

"I don't know!-"

Y/n floored on the breaks, rocking them both forward, "The Byers house."

"What?"

"The Byers house! If Frank's going to look for anyone it'd be at the Byers house! Fuck he knows me too well!" Y/n argued making a fast U turn, going back to Joyce's house.

"Who's the Byers!" Steven asked

"The moms Franks Girlfriend!"

"Frank has a girlfriend!?" Marc aspirated.

So you quickly drove to Joyce's house, well you where-

Until you stopped, smelling blood as you floored on the breaks.

"Marc I need you to contuine to look for my dad." Y/n explained getting out the driver seat.

"Excuse me!?"

"Look! Go look for my dad!" Y/n ordered, "Please."

He sighed, "You're lucky I like you."

He shifted over and took her seat, "becareful. I know you sense ya know....werid shit."

Y/n nodded.

You watched Marc drive off as you walked into the forest

You smelled Blood and Unlike Matt you couldnt identify who's blood

But with everything going on.. it was best to check

You found yourself farther than you thought as you made it to what seemed to be an old dumping grounds, an old bus, some old cars along with rubble here and there.

"Hello!" Y/n called.

She stopped when something squished below her.

"Aw...shit...always my fuckin feet..." y/n complained raising her foot.

Y/n kneeled down, taking a knife from her belt. Sticking it in the substance and bringing it closer. It was meat. Most likely beef from the color, or perhaps pork-

"Y/n!" Someone whispered in a rush. She looked up.

"Get over here!"

She looked up, and squinted, "Max?"

There was a low growl, Y/n pausing in her spot.

The bus door opened slowly, barely making a squeak Steve slowly walking out, hand loose in one hand and the other one out in sign for her to not make a move. Then brought a finger to his lips to tell her to keep quiet.

Another low growl as Y/n turned her head.

Just a rabid dog at first glance. Until it got closer. It's head made of what could be a flower bulb as it stalked closer.

Y/n slowly pulled one of her hatches from her side.

"Steve." Y/n started, "get in the bus."

"What-"

"Get in the fuckin' bus." Y/n ordered.

"No."

"I'm not-"

The growl came closer as it slowly closed in.

"Fuckin' stay close then..." Y/n whispered to him facing the dog.

It came running at the two, jumping for it's killing just for Y/n to slash it off to the side.

"Let me guess. Gift from a god." Steve spoke another growl being heard from behind, Steve's shoulder blades met hers quickly, they back to back.

"No." Y/n responded, "sharpened from the thrift store. Camping department."

"Keep on the toes in a circle," Y/n told taking the second hatchet out a second dog coming at them, Steve takinga swing at it, knocking it off and back into the on rolling fog.

"Gotta admit." Steve spoke up, twilring the bat in his hand, "Kinda hot seeing you kick ass Killer."

"Not the time to flirt hot shot." Y/n laughed.

"Steve! Y/n!" Dustin shouted.

"Busy!" Y/n complained.

"There's More!" Lucas shouted, "A shit load more!"

Y/n and Steve looked around them, they completely surronded by more of these flower head dogs.

"Oh..." y/n started.

"Fuck..." Steve finished.

"Abort! Abort!" Dustin shouted.

"Go! Go!" Y/n shouted.

The two took back back towards the bus, Steve rushing in with Y/n behind him, yet one clamped down on her hand.

"AH!" Y/n screamed.

"Y/n!" Steve shouted regripping his bat.

But Y/n dragged the monster in and Dustin shut the foor.

"Im keeping my fucking hand!" Y/n shouted at it, grabbing the lip of the monster and forcing it's mouth open.

"Holy Shit!" Max screamed Y/n getting her hand out and holding onto one of its petal like lips.

"Fuck. You!"

She pulled at it's mouth forcing it more open than it should be naturally, it screeching in pain as Y/n raised her foot up.

"Die! You!" Y/n shouted kicking it down, "peice!"

With more force and the help of her weight the thing was split, "Of shit!" She shouted for a final time, it dieing as Y/n threw it off to the side.

She falling onto the floor with heavy breathe, leaning against one of the broken seats "fuck..."

They looked at her in Horror, she covered in blood and guts, then the kids lauged.

"YOU'RE A TOTAL BAD ASS!" They cheered.

Yet it didnt last long as the dogs charged at the door, trying to get in, resulting in the fear setting back in.

"FUCKING HELL! IM DONE WITH FUCKING FLOWER FUCKIN FACES!" Y/n shouted grabbing the bat from Steve.

"Y/n! Y/N!"

You had already gone to the door where Dustin had tried to block it in and with the reching in demodog you beat it half to death.

Yet it didnt stop there, a scream from Max ripping you attention away, one of these dogs, screeching down at her from the open bus emergency exit.

But before anyone could make a move, it stopped and looking off to the side it chirping, growling then roaring before it left in a hurry.

You guys were quiet no one making a move for a good five mintues.

Steve was out the door first, back with his signature bat in hand as he checked

But the creatures had just vanished

And now that you all have a mintue to breathe in the outside air the adrenaline is starting to wear off.

"Dustin." Y/n called, "you got duck tape in that backpack of yours?"

He went through his bag, "Yeah. Here."

Y/n thanked him wrapping her bleeding hand and past her wrist in duck tape, "here."

He was in compelte shock as you just contuined on without a care, putting your hatchets away at your sides.

You all walked off, hoping to find where they went, Lucas found from using his binoculars that they went "home" Hawkins Lab

You told them last time you checked, Will was there

Dustin and Lucas started to try and fill you in

But you said you already knew, and not to worry you could handle it.

You stayed in the back of the group, Max walking besides you.

"Are...you okay?" She asked.

Y/n nodded, "yeah... this? Its nothing."

It was silent, "I know...you and Billy."

"I don't wanna talk about it..." Y/n responsed.

"But I just-"

"Look! Max! I don't care what you think!" Y/n argued, in a whispered shout, "my dad's god knows where, Im dead to Billy! I-"

She stopped rubbing over her face taking a deep breathe in, "Im...look Im sorry...I just...want everyone safe."

"Is that a superhero thing?" Max asked, "taking everything on yourself?"

"It just may be...Im not much of a hero..."

"Just a badass?" Max asked

Y/n chuckled, "Just a badass."

"Well..." she spoke, "if the badass doesn't mind. I don't mind helping with anything."

Y/n smiled patting Max on the head, "I'll remember that. Your first lesson when shits not grinding in the fan. Hot wiring."

"Really!?"

"No."

You all contuined forward, and you had to break up some stupid fight between Lucas and Dustin

Even tho they both yellled at you to stay out of it.

"Look! Both of you!" Y/n shouted, "You fucked up Dustin! You fucked up Lucas! You both get that!?"

"But-" Lucas tried to interveine.

"I said You fucked up Dustin! You fucked up Lucas! Do you both get that!? Or will I have to have The winter soilder come and stab both of you in the eye!" Y/n argued.

"You know The Winter Soilder?!" The two asked.

"Not the point!" Y/n argued, "so lets just. Go. Alright?"

The two nodded and contuined down the railroad path.

You all coming up on the lab.

Hearing hellos coming from the distance you all started towards the sound. Just for it to be Jonathan.

And Nancy...

Great she first tries to steal your boyfriend, talks to you like nothing happened, and then she was with your brother-Jonathan, she was with Jonathan.

"What are you doing here?!"

"Us!?" Nancy asked, "We're looking for Mike and Will."

"Shit what happen to your hand?" Jonathan asked Y/n grabbing the ducktaped hand.

"Nothing big-"

"Wait what are you doing here?" Nancy asked her.

"Right now? Getting Mike and Will out of there." Y/n argued pointing towards the lab.

"Gate has no power." Jonathan told her.

"Fuck..." Y/n spoke pulling away from him, looking up at the gate, "I can jump it-"

"Are you insane?!" Nancy asked, "That's barbed wire-"

"And?" Y/n asked walking towards the Fence serveying the area,"not as bad as you think."

She started to climb the fence.

"Y/n! Woah woah!" Steve stopped her, "You're injured-"

"Will and Mike are in there!" Y/n defended and started to climb again, but Nancy pulled her down.

"Are you trying to die?" Nancy argued.

Y/n turned to her getting dangerously close, "no but your going to if you touch me again."

Nancy looked offended, "What the hell-"

"Blow it out your ass Nancy." Y/n argued, "You're just Bullshit. You're pure bullshit!"

"Y/n-"

"Be quiet." Y/n ordered, "You stop me again, I will hurt you."

Y/n climbed over the fence, just barely able to throw herself over the barbed wire.

"Y/n!" Steve shouted, "Y/n!"

You ignored him and managed to hurry to the building, yet the door wouldnt open and if the power is off...

You managed with one of your longer pins to slide it between the door and the door frame wiggling around till you heard a click and the door opened letting you in

It's time to go safe the homies now

✧▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ▬✧

Tags: @raelwrites @miiikkeey @beebslebobs @ah-witch @supernaturallover2002 @pearlstiare @simonsbluee @stilllivindue2spite @lvbred @dancingqueen21 @writerdream22 @i-reblog-fics-i-like @knivqs @xxlaynaxx @3-spurr @eliskakratochvilova @sunshinepower17 @marssssaturn @howlerwolfmax @mxltifxnd0m @varientlyvisual

[hella1975]

Whats the most 'wtf' threat-message-comment thing you remember getting?

Maybe not a mean comment, but the most like 'why do you feel comfortable saying this to me' thing?

oh to be honest ive never received any actual AWFUL asks/comments but i have received a lot that toe a very fine line to the point i cant even remember all of them. like it's clear there was never any malicious intent but some people just reallyyyyy do not understand boundaries. most of the time i just wont answer but if im in a bad mood i tend to tell you guys off for it lmao so you've actually probably seen the worst ones.

i guess not threatening or mean, but one comment that has always stuck with me just bc of how 'wtf?!' i was about it is this one commenter i had on ao3. they were a reallyyy loyal commenter for MONTHS like every single chapter they'd leave at least a paragraph, and two thirds of the para would always be pure praise for my writing, which was why it was kinda complicated bc i KNEW the rest of the comment wasn't intended to be criticism, they were just the kind of person that clearly didn't have a filter. so what they'd do is they'd say all these compliments, but then they'd say what they DIDNT like about my writing. and my attitude with fanfiction is that unless the work is actively problematic, you just do not tell the author their shortcomings. idc if this isn't a widely held opinion; it's my opinion. ao3 authors are giving us this shit for FREE out of their own time more often than not while balancing jobs and a social life - it is their HOBBY and it's not your place to tell them you dont like their plot or the way they wrote something. write it yourself if it bothers you so much. and so for ages i just didnt respond to this person's comments even though MOST of the comment they'd leave would always be positive, bc the tagged on parts always felt passive aggressive. like they were clearly part of the Annoying atla fandom bc they'd always get annoyed when any of the characters held zuko accountable for anything. they openly admitted that they just wanted zuko to be babied and didn't like it when people were mean to him, a sentiment that REALLY pisses me off, and they were also SUCH a katara anti which, yk, red flag. but it was fine. it wasn't a big deal, i could handle the comments and i genuinely just forgot about them as soon as i read them.

BUT THEN one day they left me a comment being like 'im going to stop reading this fic' which that alone is such an odd thing to alert the author about, but then they proceeded to explain to me why they weren't going to read anymore. like they spent an entire para being like 'this is why i dont really like this fic anymore' LMAO?? and i distinctly remember them saying something about zi se and how they hated him partially because they hate kids but mostly because he was an OC which i just thought was such a fucking funny thing to say like the cheek?? i was flabbergasted and i was kind of sick of their shit at that point, so my response was (para-phrased): 'not to be rude but in future i think you should consider when commenting on fics if your comment is actually necessary.  it can be very discouraging as a writer to be told directly by a reader that they don't enjoy your story and don't like the direction you're taking it. i'm confident enough in taob and my own abilities that i can brush it off very easily, but i'm just worried that if you said this to a newer or smaller fic writer it could really impact their confidence. the decision to stop reading isn't the issue here, it's just that you felt the need to explicitly tell me about it' which i thought was very hot and mature of me. like i very rarely pull out the 'taob is one of the biggest fics in a very big fandom' card but when dealing with rude people i have no shame in being like 'i will not miss a single reader like you realise that right i will not notice if you stop reading' so yeah as an experience it was all just very odd JSKDGHKJDSH

[cosmicjoke]

When Misumi was mentioned by Muraji Yashiro had this force laugh as if this was really for him. Nah, Misumi least his worries about this case. Tsunakawa's group is ready to give him money, even more if you say money is not what he's after. Doumeki doesn't owe him an explaination since he was the one who got kicked, literally. Doumeki calmly told him to back off for his safety, and again with Muraji, the least Yashiro could do is respect that and back off, let them fight their own fight. Oh, he's suicidal and want to get into the danger? That's even more selfish. his blood will be on Doumeki and Tsunakawa. You going to justify that with "he's in love with Doumeki" too?

Say whatever you like that he's in love with Doumeki (that much is already established since 4 years ago), the fact remains he kicked him out his life and out of his life Doumeki did, and now he's pulling himself to him again. Got hurt knowing he's got a "woman". WTF bro? Tsundere much?? And yeah, Doumeki did order him that, and said No. And clearly Doumeki backed off on that too—and here he is again pulling Doumeki. He got hurt when Kamiya was station to him. That's what I mean using him whenever he please. ( Oh also dont forget he sucks him off whenever he feels like and pouts if Doumeki says no. ) Yashiro said No. But keeps pulling Doumeki in? Saying he'll do after all?

Sympathy, Empathy, Compassion, throw those words to justify Yashiro's actions towards Doumeki? I get it, they cant be all rosy happy and honest after all these years and after all that happened between them, but at least give him the courtesy not to lie. Dont say anything. Dont say you dont remember. Dont say you dont care . And get scared if he hates you?

Doumeki has been honest, this rough handling is his "honesty". He was hurt of what he did to him. That's not exactly on Yashiro, but you cant deny what Yashiro did, it wasn't just a slap on a hand what he did to Doumeki. Yashiro doesn't need to wonder if Doumeki hates him, he needs to reflect on what he even did to Doumeki, not just the bullets either, cause it seems like that's his only concern.

Okay, Yashiro hater. You've got a bug up your ass about him, you can sulk in it yourself. I hate to break this to you, since you're so hell bent on shitting on him, but Yashiro is the main character of this story, not Doumeki. The focus is on him, and his struggle. You clearly don't understand anything about his character, and why he's done the things he's done. If you can't find sympathy or empathy for him, if you can't understand his motivations simply because they're not spelled out in big block letters for your dumb ass, then what the fuck are you doing reading this story? Get the fuck outta' here with your shit.

And no, Doumeki ISN'T being honest. He's hiding his feelings and sending Yashiro into a tailspin of doubt in the process. You want proof? The scene from chapter 46, I think, when Yashiro asks why Doumeki insisted on taking him home, and Doumeki lies and tells him he's just being polite. Bullshit. Yashiro had what amounted to a panic attack in that moment. You're one of these people that clearly has no grasp of the affects of trauma, or how it can impact a person and their reactions and decisions. That's hilarious, considering that's what this story is all about. Like I said, engendering compassion for people suffering from trauma. Yashiro was never trying to hurt Doumeki. He was trying to help him. He went about it in the wrong way, but his intent was never malicious, you fool, and yet you keep insisting and acting like that's exactly what it was, like he only ever wanted to make Doumeki suffer. What, is your reading comprehension level that low? Can you not read between lines at all? Is Yashiro's obvious guilt and suffering over what he did to Doumeki, his plain statement that it's understandable if Doumeki hates him now, not enough to make you understand that he feels regret over his actions? That he never meant to cause Doumeki pain? Maybe you should stick to scholastic books. They're both accountable here. They've both got good reasons for being less than truthful. You can't seem to extend the same understanding to Yashiro as you do Doumeki, and it's painfully, sickeningly obvious the reason why. You just hate Yashiro. Great. Good for you. I ask again, then, why the fuck are you reading a story ABOUT him?

I swear, you people are unbearably stupid.

Don't send me any more asks. I'm not here to listen to this shit. If you do, I'll just turn my anon asks off.

Fucking unbelievable.

[darkangelhome]

hi ! hope you're doing well. i dont know if this is me asking or just running my thoughts out bc i dont have anyone to talk to abt this and i came across your blog so imma go straight to the point. i am on my taekook phase yet again lol. seeing how the other ship (jm & jk) is being flagged by bighit lately is so weird to me im sorry i do not hate their moments together but sometimes when i see them on official contents i cant help but wonder, if tae and jk are indeed a couple, dont you get weirded out how jm is sometimes say, crossing the line or gets too much? i get he's playful and a natural flirt but if he knows that his two besties are a thing, wouldn't it be right to set boundaries? like he's clingy to jk and i know he is with tae too but not much. the maknae line are very close to each other that i know very well but really just wanna ask you do you sometimes get the same feels too? pls be honest. like if i were tae id be awkward at times. i bet no matter how close they are they still get a tad bit jelly. thats fair to say right? how do i explain this......when it comes to vmin theres no room for controversies because they made it clear that they are each other's bestie soulmate. and i love love them but jikook....it seems to me like jm is a bit you know i dont want to describe it as going far sometimes but i cant think of how to put it into other words so yea..... im not gonna elaborate further bc as a taekooker yourself i think you see things i see. and you know what im talking about. makes me wonder does tk just go with whatever jm does bc they dont want to make him feel left out? since clearly the hyung line arent that touchy touchy or go along with his flirty plays like the maknae line do. (given his personality) i dont know sometimes i cant wrap my head around it. It's crazy to me how tk both just shove things off when it comes to jm... i guess they both just value him so much but still lol :D bc personally i dont think id be very comfy with my bestfriend acting all that flirty with my man........ dang they have such a strong friendship and trust letting each other pretty much just do whatever ! my belief on tk is firm i just wonder how tae feels sometimes knowing their company is trying to push this narrative with his bf haha i know it isnt right but cant help but wish they come out alr to stop this madness 😭 cuz if this further stems up im only afraid of one thing..... what are these jm and jk romantic shippers going to do then 😭

Maybe you missed it, but I don't answer questions about other ships. Also, I think I've answered a few questions about this before. Check out my "ask me anything" tag.

Jimin is the same with other members as he is with Jungkook except in one way: Jimin's affections towards JK often take on a paternal tone that I just don't see in his affections with others (sometimes he'll have this tone towards Tae but not as often as towards JK; and never towards the hyungs). Right down to ruffling/patting the hair at the top of JK's head like you do with a little brother or younger pal. And that tone fits Jimin's own words about feeling like JKs dad or feeling like JK is his real little brother, but people continue to ignore both his words and the actual tone of his actions towards JK. I get why people ship them because they're so sweet and clearly have a special bond, but they're one of the duos out of all the members that have always struck me as being the most like true brothers who are dear friends (Jin and Jungkook are the other, though they have their own dynamic).

Jimin is the person who takes his job the most seriously in the group and does almost 80% of the fanservice alone. I highly doubt that any of the boys are uncomfortable with shipping knowing that fanservice is apart of the job that they signed up for when they decided to become idols. Most of the concert moments are fanservice. They even reheasing. Let's not discuss this. Borderline homoerotic or flirty photoshoots are fanservice. Anything that is being done with the audience's enjoyment in mind first is fanservice. And it's okay to acknowledge that. It doesn't make any of the relationships within BTS any less genuine just because they also engage in things that are acted out or staged. The reason why they are so good and so loved is that although they do the same things other kpop groups do, they are natural. They know how big shipping culture is within the k-pop industry and I'm sure they're aware that that's exactly why fanservice as a concept exists. That's why it's rare for them to get jealous of each other while doing their jobs. In fact, Tae rarely gets jealous of Jungkook from the other members, it's usually with Jungkook jealous of him. Jungkook has a stronger sense of owning what belongs to him. That's why he's not as good at hiding his reactions and facial expression as Tae lol

[kate-read-that]

Everyone knows there's two groups in Scott's town: bikers and players. On one hand, bikers are a mess to be around: always looking for trouble, making noise, partying all over the city.... a mess. Th issue is, most have good grades and know enough about machines and motors and such to give classes to the mechanics from town.

On the other hand, players are nice looking, kind hearted, smart boys that never make a fuss and are always there to help the community however they can. Most are football players, runners and basketball players or all of those at the same time. They're a charm to be around, if you're lucky enough to get in their circle.

"Welcome to Pop's, please sit wherever, its early yet" says Peter to his friends, careful to keep equilibrium on his rollers.

"Thanks Mr, we'll take the same table we usually do" Steve laughs and goes sit at their usual table with the rest.

Serving the table next to them, pretty blond looks at Peter with adoration.

"Is Claire still trying to get you to ask her out, Peter" MJ asks, fully knowing the answer already. Peter whines.

"I've tried to discourage her in a million ways! I'm bi, but I'm not interested in her, I dont know why she doesnt get it!"

"Man shes hot and funny, what is there not to be interested about?" Sam asks, one broe arched in disbelief.

"If you like her, ask her out! That'll get her off me" Peter begs while writing down their orders, even thought theres no need.

They always order the same food and wait until Peter finishes his turn to go so something around the city, and tonight's no exception, until new company arrives.

The door opens to Tony S., major douchebag of the city, and his friends, the major dumbasses, Nat, Clint and Bucky B. Peter's friends instantly look awkward and pissed, and the other persons in the diner look at Tony's and his friends with dread. Who know what they might be up to. The fact that they cant be thrown off high school because his amazing grades pisses off a lot of people.

Peter swallows and calms himself. He hopes Tony wont cause problems in the diner, because that's the last thing he needs and tmhe really doesnt want to kick anyone out. Besides, he isn't sure how he would kick them out if he had to.

Despite his nervousness, he rolls to them and smiles politely: " Welcome to Pop's, please sit wherever, today is not as full"

"What about you sit on my lap, darling?" Tony claimed he was bi a long time ago; more than claimed, he was caught having sex with some guy under the major's statue. Peter counts to five so he doesnt reply to that.

"Choose whatever table you want, I'll go serve you right now" he then turns around to give the cooker his friends orders, hoping he doesnt look too startled.

Tony usually mocks them in high school, and they mock right back, but he has never said anything sexual to him. It's strange, thinking of him that way, like someone you can have sex with. Peter shakes his head and rolls back to Tony's table.

Nat and Clint are too busy signaling at each other to notice he's there, and Bucky is checking something on the other side of the diner. Peter is too shy to say something when no one is paying attention, so he waits until Tony tells his friends to shut up and order already because they're making Parker loose his time.

Peter looks at him surprised, but smiles and starts taking notes. Clint has a little bit problem to order, because his deaf and his parents couldnt teach him to talk until he got in school, but he manages. Peter likes Clint, he's nice and seems a good person, but he doesnt understand why he mixes with the rest.

Nat is adopted and she's always in trouble for this thing or the other, she's always quiet but when she talks is like she's always trying to test you, somehow. Bruce had to give her math classes for a while and he said she's actually not that bad, but she still scares Peter.

Buckys parents are cool, they let him leave alone, which sounds incredible, but hes always argues with teachers and missing class, and hes always inappropriate and rude to people.

And Tony's parents are as rich as it gets, but they like to live away from big cities so they're here until tony graduates. Peter doesn't know much about them, except that they no longer pick Tony up when he gets arrested so one of the members of their staff does it. His uncle Sam is a cop, and he says theres nothing sadder than parents that dont care about his son enough to get mad at him.

So Peter tries to be kind to them, but it's so hard when all they do is mock him and his friends. Besides, Tony always has the expression, like he's to good for everyone else! It drives Peter mad.

"I'm going to have the Burguer 6, with chips and a piece of that ass" Tony pretends to read seriously from the menu, but his friends dont laugh. Peter's tired of the jokes, but he needs the job and Tony is not going to ruin this for him.

"Sure thing, dude, maybe when hell freezes. What else?" The others do laugh this time, to Peter's confusion, and order their meals.

.....

"Dude he absolutely hates you" Bucky seems to find this hilarious, even though hes Tony's best friend and he should support him, dammit!

"Of course he had to wear shorts, not like I could keep my mind straight or something" Tony moans, watching Peter roll away like the cute doll he is.

"You're like an animal dude" Clint says, little sloppy but understandable.

"Pathetic" Adds Nat, as if Tony needed confirmation of the screw up.

"And besides, since when is your mind straight?" Bucky laughs at his own joke, like the idiot he is, Tony thinks, while checking the other side of the diner again.

"At least I dont stalk Rogers from here like some kind of pervert" Tony smiles wide at Bucky's affronted face, blushing and frowning. "Whatever".

"Dude, just tell him you're into him and ask him on a date, this suave shit is not your style" Clint signs, too tired to try and talk. Tony signs back "Suave is totally think you jerk!"

"Not when you care" Nat interrupts as direct as always, looking seriously at him. "Food here is good but if you did yourself a favor and went straight to it we wouldnt have to come here and hear you whine"

"Straight?" Bucky chimes again, entertained. Nat hits him in the back of the head "Idiot."

"I will, alright? I will"

Rught then, Peter comes back with their drinks and Tony leans back.

"I dont know what I like the most, you coming to me in those cute rolls or you going away in that killer short"

All his friends look at him exasperated, and Tony cant believe he actually said that to Peter. Hes never going to get a date with his cheesy fucking lines.

But Peter laughs. Not a big laugh, okay, but a short, cute one that he tries to hide.

"Maybe youd like me better without both, huh Tony?" He leans towards Tony a little, his hand on Tony's shoulder for a second.

Hes gone just as fast as he came, leaving the whole table shocked.

Tony knows he should close his mouth, but he cant believe Peter Parker just legit flirted back at him. What the hell? He needs a cold shower right now, and his friends need to stop looking at him.

"Did you pay him to say that or something" Tony knows Bucky is trying to be funny, but truth is he cant explain that act either, and when he looks at Nat and Clint for help, they're just staring at him like a third head just grew out.

...

Peter is hyperventilating.

"I cant believe I flirted back. What the hell is wrong with me?" His friends are looking at him like he just told them he likes to dance hula naked in december, and Peter cant blame them

"Huh, maybe the fact that you've had the hots for him for years?"MJs voice cuts the air. Peter looks at her in disbelief.

"I have not! He's arrogant and careless and despective and rude and..."

"And hot and intelligent and funny, in your opinion" MJ adds, smiling "I've seen you laugh at his jokes when you think no one is watching, and you cant deny hes hot and smary"

"Maybe you should date him"

"Dont be ridiculous, I'm leaning to girls in this period of my life. And he's into you, not me"

Peter couldnt believe MJ. He did not have the hots for Tony, and Tomy was not funny, not all the time anyway, and Tony Stark was not into Peter in any way, shape or form.

And yet he had felt so good flirting with him. Seeing his amazement when Peter had answered. For once, Tony was not in control of everything and playing his jokes, he was shocked.

And Peter did that to him.

So Peter decided, what the hell, let's try this out. If he ends up being an asshole, my friends will kick his ass for me.

"If you like him, go ahead, but he looks like too much trouble for me" Steve said, looking worried. He and Bucky had been childhood friends, but they bad separated later in life and Steve didn't like to be close to him or his friends, Tony included.

"Yeah, and if he's a jerk to you well talk to him" Sam smiled threatingly, clapping his hands.

"Nat is really nice to be around when you meet her" added a blushing Bruce, who had been crushing on the ginger since they met but was way too shy to say or do anything.

Peter kept working until he had to deliver Tony's food. He tried not to show he was nervous and he definitely didnt check his ass before going out the kitchen with the food.

"Number 6,8,12, and 3 for you guys, with chips for everyone and a piece of ass for Anthony" he looked at Tony intently, trying to guess his reaction. For a second Stark just stranded there, shocked, until he slapped Peter's ass so strongly all the diner turned around. Or maybe it was because Peter had let out the loudest moan a boy his size could produce.

Peter thought he was going to kill himself. What was that?? One thing is flirting,but that? He was so losing his job. Trying to keep as much dignity as he could, he said "That's more than a piece, and it hurt, you idiot" and he turned around and left, head high and eyes burning from shame.

....

Tony was going to kill himself.

"Dude, what the fuck? He was kidding you dumbass" Bucky, again, was laughing at him. Although this time Tony couldnt blame him, fuck it. What the hell was that?? It's not like Peter's bubble butt didnt deserve one or two good slaps, but Peter worked there!

On the other hand, how could have Tomy anticipated that Peter was going to react like that? That moan could have brought people from the death, nd it certainly brought some of Tony's parts as well.

"It seemed like he liked it" Nat said, like she was reading Tony's mind. She was trying to keep herself from laughing, while Clint signaled that he was scarred for life.

Tont got up without knowing what he was doing. People weren't looking directly anymore, but he knew they were still totally focused on his movements. He got in the staff room without problems. Apparently Claire was too shocked to say nothing about it.

As soon as he got in he saw Peter, sitting in a corner, head buried on his lap.

"Dude what the hell? Are you alright?" Tony rushed to him scared. Peter just laughed.

"You're kidding? I'm si getting fired after that. What the fuck, man? In which world is that an appropriate way of flirting?"

"So we were flirting?" Tony wanted to confirm, and he realized now he sounded like an ass.

"Oh my god you slapped my ass but you dodnt know we were flirting? Dude! You're all class arent you?" Peter frowned at him.

"Didnt seem like you cared" Tomy knew he was being a dick, but he couldnt help it when Peter was right there, all long legs and blushed and nervous and biting his goddamn lip making it even redder than usual. If possible, Peter got even more red. "I liked that a lot, but that doesnt mean you can do it in my job, you idiot"

"What about my place? When you finish here?" Tony knew he was going to be totally rejected after that but he had to try, right?

"Ah, no, I'm not letting you win after that. You're taking me on a date first, and if you behave I'll let you take me to your place and well see what happens" Peter said, knowing full well he was going to be ditched.

"Deal"

"Wait, you sirious?" Peter opened his eyes in disbelief.

"What, you're not?" Tony arched his brow.

"I am, I am. Okay, deal"

"Can I ask you something, before I leave?"

"What?"

"Would you wear those shorts to our date?"

[bagilgulhaze]

MAYBE ITS BECAUSE, RADFEM CIRCLES ARE INHERENTLY ANTI FEMME/BUTCH CULTURE? SCREAAAAM. IMAGINE HATING TRANS WOMEN SO MUCH THAT YOU DONT CARE THAT IDEOLOGY YOU ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH DOESN'T FALL IN LINE WITH THE WAY YOU IDENTIFY ("FEMME'OK LMAO)

1. Feminine women using make up etc aren't oppressed by ACTUALLY GNC women. And bc you're dumb and white and cis and radfem, there isn't point of saying how hyper feminine behaviour is associated often with the presentation of certain WOC, lower socio economic class women, and TRANS women. Who are then VILIFIED by TERFS (mainly, trans women) for "LITERALLY cooperating with the patriarchy for putting make up on or having long acrylyc nails or whatsoever". Because you wouldn't care about any of that.

The fakes you call radfem butches aren't doing it because they're misogynistic femme oppressing butches. "Gender nonconformity" is praised, in white women, in cis women, and when it's just the right amount to still be aactually very conforming, and not, you know, "actually crazy dysphoric man-copying butch". Like, again. The entire Radfem agenda !?

How can you be femme when it sees the femme and butch identities for those reasons as sexist heterosexuality emulating and regressive! With complete disregard to other cultures of color. The entire radfe ideology is informed by racism and classism stated as neutral things. What a woman is, is completely based on those standards in which everyone is judged. Not to talk about, of course, trans women who are outright shunned, not secretly, and ignored from the "female experience" (and prosecuted).

Then ignoring how often all those things appear together in butch/femme spaces (butch femme culture as something that was formed in the bar scene with lower class communities of color?! Hello!? Even around the world wherever this culture naturally was adopted its usually not white and lower class and very trans inclusive, from my experience).

2. And by everyone who doesn't paste the word feminist over it and tries to explain it that way, it's just treated as trashy, and less enlightened and progressive to appear hyper feminine by the same women who also conform to femininity, white cis middle upper class femininity that registers in many cultures as less hyper feminine, so they get creds for being more GNC while being AS gender conforming with their make up-less face and wide clothes and short but still feminine haircuts, just by their cultures standards.... which again, the radfem agenda is informed by since it's made out of white upper middle class cis women.

Like, yeah, my mom totally outside of radfem circles and ideaology, get talked down to at work despite being the manager that makes most profit compared to her male counterparts but also compared to her white, cishet, pants wearing no make up on no heels female counterpart. They treat her like a little girl and with less respect and unfairly dismiss her often. Is it because she puts make up on and is feminine and being feminine, as a cis woman gets you discriminated ? no. It's because she is VISIBLY. BROWN. And her hyper feminine appearance doesnt assimilate to ashkenazi white femininity standards and seen as REGRESSIVE. YOU ALL are SO thick. If my mom was ACTUALLY GNC by ashkie standards or so was her female coworker? They would get SHIT for it.

3. Those bitches you call butch bc they dont put make up on or whatever aren't butches, and if they're cis "butches" who care more about hating trans women then being in spaces that respect them, then definitely those places dont praise them, if a butch dare be dysphoric, she is mentally I'll. This isn't a valid experience. If a butch binds and buzz her hair and packs shes trying to be a man. What's wrong with your vagina? Why are you trying to be a man? Its internalized misogyny. No, terfs spaces dont praise butches, nor do they praise femmes (neither do you it seems, by the way you view those topics) because they're inherently anti butch/femme culture.

4. Butch/femme spaces I've been to, have been constantly the most accepting to hyper (brown&black, lower class, in your face) femininity lol. Whenever you see a space with actual butches you would look around and see lesbians and bi women with crop tops and bright red lipstick and long neon acrylic nails who wrap around their butches. It's the queer spaces I get LEAST looks for being a femme, because it's not seen as anti-queer straight or problematic and unattractive. There isn't a sense of superiority from white western-GNC queers that look down at it (and would, admittedly, look down at the butches too.but they're not regressive for appearing feminine but usually for adopting mannerisms associated with brown and lower class people (men). As the femmes do with mannerism of women... ) so as you can see... even not radfem spaces it's still about racism, and classism.

5. And these are just about the two topics radfem dont claim proudly to exclude (lower class and woc). Trans women, who's safety usually depends on passing but also again, are held to much higher standard of femininity in order to conform and cant walk with sweatpants, no make up and sneakers and be as conforming as a cis white lady (...thin. did I mention thin lol all connects doesnt it...amazing how it's not femephobia on every aspect) would, isn't more backwards and regressive for doing any of that but again lost fight bc shes just another "man" who is part of the patriarchy, which is even worse than "females" who are co operating with it.

Edit: sex workers too. Apply to all of it. Same criticism but not that terfs pretend to care about them either.

[istgimamess]

Label: JYP entertainment

Stage name: Song Ha Rin [Ha means great or talented, Rin means unicorn; so yeah, I picked this name for you because you're a great, talented unicorn and you should be protected at all cost, duhh]

Debut year: 2016 (3 years active)

Debut concept: electric pop, upbeat, cute and girly, sassy girl power, dance and vocal heavy

Number of members: 5

Group name: HolyElectric

Fandom name: Sparks

Position: main dancer, vocal line, the mom of the group [because you're super protective, patient and caring]

Male bestie: Choi Minho (SHINee)

How you meet: he's your protector but also your tormentor, if you're being honest! Your first meeting was a bit of a shit show, one minute you're practicing some basic dance moves for a live broadcast and the next you're hanging off the side of the stage in a mess of limbs and covered in water. His necklace tangled in your hair, your heel caught in his belt loop; the both of you soaked beyond repair, an empty water pitcher laying hazardously at the bottom of the stairs. "Umm, you think you can tell your pants to let go of my shoe!?" "Yeah, as soon as your hair releases my necklace.." He pushes at your forehead, palm covering your face completely, nothing happens. You knee at his torso and hip, nothing happens; you both try again. "Ouch! Watch yourself, King Kong! I cant breath!" "Okay, let's not panic! It'll just leave me pantsless and you bald!" After that it was like you were inseparable, quickly becoming friends through the shared experience of that tragic, embarrassing event. Turns out you have a lot in common, personality wise! You're both really sarcastic and just plain goofy; (you have this game, always competing to see who can make the funniest, goofiest faces) so, obviously, you make eachother laugh alot but you're also very protective over one another. "Hey, Minho! HolyElectric's Harin is your best friend, right?" "Yeah, she is! Why?" "Shall we send her a little video!? Quickly do something to make her laugh!" "Harin, I miss you!...(^ gif ^)..."

Female bestie: Tiffany Young (SNSD)

How you meet: you take singing very serious! You're always working on your vocals, trying out new techniques, experimenting with your range; you're very hardworking and your dedication to getting better is something everyone seems to notice about you, right off the bat. So you're always down for vocal classes and one on one's with your vocal coach, always excited to learn something new! And that's how you meet Tiffany, through a friend of a friend of a friend of your vocal coach! You were doing your warm ups, waiting on your teacher to arrive when Tiffany stuck her head in the room to compliment you on your vibrato! You tend to come off as a bit rude, because of how shy you are, so at first it didn't really go well! "Wow, you sound so good! Those runs were amazing!" "Umm, I know..no, I-..I mean, it's not like I think I'm super good or anything..I-..sorry." She ended up laughing your response off and joining you in the room! You quickly became really good friends, constantly listening to music and practicing together; going out for lunch and meeting up on the weekends for some quality shopping time! "Who would you say your best friend is?!" "Oh, she is also a singer! Her name is Harin and she's in the girl group HolyElectric! We hang out together probably every week!" "Oh really!? What are your favorite things to do together!?" "We are both shopoholics, so we're constantly shopping! And afterwards I always drag her out for ice cream because..(^gif^).." Your friendship is so cute!

Group bestie: NCT

How you meet: this is probably the most unconventional way you've ever made a group of friends but it worked, whether you wanted it to or not. There are probably a hand full of things that you absolutely hate in life: people who lie, crabs and bugs are just a few! When faced with any of these, more specifically crabs and/or bugs, you tend to run the opposite way, screaming at the top of your lungs, arms flailing! It's your natural reaction! So when you find yourself being used as a human shield between a grown ass man-child and bugzilla, you're forced to square up and save the man child! "OH MY GOD SAVE ME IT'S GOING TO EAT ME AHHHH EOMMA!!" You're being pulled close, your body picked up and thrown around by the trembling boy! You feel like you might actually vomit but also, oddly enough, you feel really protective; the mom in you suddenly coming out: throwing your fists up in a fighting manner, kicking your feet and swatting the sky in defense. "NOT TODAY, SATAN!!" Eventually the bug gives up on it's hostile takeover, there are about 3 seconds worth of calm and suddenly you're surrounded. "Taeyong! What happened!?" "Yeah, we heard screaming!" "I was attacked!! I thought I was going to die!" "What!? What happened!? Attacked by who!? Are you o-" "Yeah, sorry to interrupt, but are we going to actually sit here and pretend like we don't see the girl Taeyong-hyung is holding up off of the ground like a teddy bear?! We just ignoring that!?" "Haechan, dont be rude!" "How am I being rude!?" "You're always-" "Sorry, can you put me down, my legs are going numb.." And it was all down hill from there! They wouldn't leave you alone, following you around like a group of sassy, over-dramatic puppies! But you don't really mind! They're your biggest supporters, always streaming your music and cheering you on during award season! They also send you little video messages to congratulate you on your wins! "...(^gif^)..." "Wait, are you recording?!" "Yeah, Harin is about to perform so we need to send the message fast!" "But not everybody's here yet!" "Well, tell them to hurry!" They're truly adorable!

Boyfriend: Shin Hoseok/Wonho (Monsta X)

Ship name(s): Ha-Ho, Wonha, Ho-Rin

How you meet: you love, love, love traveling and you get the opportunity to travel a lot, with your job; but that's really not enough to satisfy you! So, whenever you have a day off, you like to travel! Nowhere too far, since you only really have the one day, usually to Japan, or China, any place near by! That's where you meet Wonho, in the airport; one second you're grabbing your baggage, minding your own business and the next you're face-full of chest! "Oooff, I'm so sorry-" "It's okay! It's not everyday cute girls use their face to assault my chest!" He's very sure of himself, very honest and openly flirty and it doesn't take long before his assertiveness pulls you out of your shy shell! You spend the day together, grab some coffee and then hit up the local ramen shop! It doesn't take long for you to become official: redcheeks and sweaty palms, shy confessions underneath the bus station hanger. He's the best boyfriend you could ask for, he's practically whipped! And his group members never let him live it down! "Hey, Wonho! Harin stayed the night last night, didnt she!? But you guys were soooo quiet, in your room! What were you doing!? Quickly, tell the camera!" "...(^gif^)..." They make him suffer, you find it hilarious!

Your biggest fan: Kim Yeri (Red Velvet) is probably your biggest fan! She is constantly making dance covers to your songs, streaming your music and watching your v-lives! "I'm a huge fan of HolyElectric! My favorite is Harin! She's such a good dancer and her vocals are always on point!" She's very vocal about how much she loves you and your music; so much, that even her fans are trying to make it so that she has the opportunity to meet you! "Yeri-unnie! Harin-unnie is your girl crush, right!?" " Yes~...(^gif^)..." "Hopefully you can meet her soon!" It's ridiculously cute!

Scandle: you're a dancer, that's what you truly want to be known as! You've been dancing since you could stand up straight and you've been like a spunge ever since; always trying to gain as much knowledge over the art, as you can! You take extra classes, make covers, mimic other great dancers, you're constantly in the practice room! So, yeah, you dance more than you breathe, this is not a secret! You've also known EXO's Kim Jongin for years, again, not a secret! He was one of the only idols to really reach out and interact with you in your trainee days; always offering to answer any "idol" questions you may have, offering to practice with you, teaching you new dance moves, critiquing your performances before every evaluation! He quickly ended up becoming your greatest teacher, an even greater friend, almost like a brother! So it's no shocker you're photographed together, a lot: Jongin entering your apartment building, Jongin picking you up and taking you out for dinner, you entering Jongin's apartment building etc. What is a bit shocking? The headlines that come with those photos, when Dispatch drops them. 'Neitizens get a HolyElectric shock when EXO's Kai takes new girl friend!' and 'HolyElectric's Harin sparks new dating rumors! Could EXO's Kim Jongin be the one?!' It was a bit confusing! "What the?! 'Could EXO's Kim Jongin be the one?!' What Disney movie is this!?" "The good kind, one with a great soundtrack and a beautiful dance number! You should feel lucky!" "I just threw up a little bit.." It's really cruel how much Jongin's enjoying your discomfort!

Other activities: obviously you're a great dancer, singer and all around performer but sometimes you really just want to be challenged! So when you're management team signs you up for a spot in 'The King of Mask Singer' singing competition, you're both super excited and super nervous! It ends up going well and you gain a ton of new friends and even more fans from the experience! "It was so fun! I didnt know singing could be so exhilarating!" "So what?! You want to give up dance and become the next Mariah Carey?! Good choice! Less competition for me~" "Jongin, I will cut you.." What a massive dork!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@bbwonho here is your private idol life ship! I hope you like it~ Let me know what you think! 😌

[ircmeltdown]

two efnet nerds lose their shit over a dead channel

so are you gonna tell me what killed the channel and show? i havent been around to see

or are you still a banhappy pissbaby

basically we don't want you around because you are a pernicious negative influence and that won't ever change

"we"

find some new people to hang out with, mark

that's ll

speak for yourself and only yourself

you are not a spokesperson

this is the reason your channel and show has died

now i know the answer

When I say we I mean

the vast majority of chatters there

I spend the most time there

I talk to everyone

I have a pretty good finger on where people are at

you mean the 200 idlers and bots and the 6 people who are too scared to say the show is shit now

Just find your own shit

you can waste as much time as you want here

but you're talking to a wall

a wall that begs

fucking mendicant

like are you enjoying yourself right now

if not

why not do something you do enjoy

i enjoy telling faggots what a fucking disaster they are

ok, well you keep doing that

but the odds of me ever giving a shit again are very slim

it would be a lot better if you just moved on

but understood if you can't

who needs you to give a shit, who the fuck even are you?

a conman who begs from people poorer than him

there is no respect for you to lose

if you think that

i do

then find somewhere else to frequent

i have, and i pointed my head into the old haunt

you're only wasting your time here

and it was empty

k

and dead

and the show was the worst it has ever been

good job

great job

you did all that on your own

never mention the GNAA again you fucking fraud

and i know why your worried about defcon, and it isnt some dislike of vegas

lol

mark

its because you have no idea what you are talking about

remember how I told you you were pre-schizophrenic

and slowly losing your grip

yes, and you were wrong then, just as you are with your dead channel

the process is accelerating

incorrect,, your shit is dying, qpzdox is movin over here to start a fam with me

well good

up yours begging scum

I hope that works out for you

focus on that, not on me

my advice is to see a therapist soon

there is no focus on you, you are completely fucking irreverent

untreated schizophrenia is really terrible

and can hurt a lot of the people who depend on you

and a failed author begging is terrible too

only i didnt have to project that

its true

but there's medication that can help

and self evident

I'm gonna leave you with that advice, good luck

nobody takes advice from panhandlers

I don't talk with panhandlers, personally

try that

"dont mention that dog shit smells when you walk by it"

fuck you

I'm sorry you feel angry

but it's a lot more your own situation than anything with me

not angry, sad the show has died so bad

this used to be a thriving community

then make your own show

now its a dried up husk of wallet

and YOU did that

not me

uh huh

why don't you make something better then

instead of haranguing me

i do the shit that makes the news, i dont report the news

I don't owe you anything mark

that was your job

that's not my job

it was

This is an online show I do

before you started begging

there's no boss

there's no salary

it isn't a job

it's a show

the boss is the fucking audience you mong

and yours has been banned down to onlu yesmen

well

you should leave that audience

i did

and i come back, and most have also lefy

ok, then your problem is solved

that was easy

my prblem is with the dead community, one you killed

is that solved?

there appear to be

is it back?

many people chatting right now

so it just peaked after your show? hmm, for a channel about the show, surely it should peak at the show

Maybe your problem is that you can't objectively make sense of the situation

because you are so emotional about it

you're a numbers guy right

just analyze how many lines are chatted

during the show

and during the periods after it

make sure you add the chats on restream

nigger please, i just led a landslide on my island with ALL the working class breaking 100years of hardcoded hate and tradition, to vote tory

and you sit there with a dead show

oh, did you

gj

you have no link the the gestalt anymore

shilling for bloomberg

lol bloomboig

seriously, I get that you're lonely

but your situation is not going to improve

without intervention

from a therapist

my situation is on the up, yours is on the down

you'll just keep suffering

you are begging, i am not

your show is dead, i have a future

I don't think you're even fooling yourself

every line of chat you type is just

you cant roleplay as a success and also beg l0de

*it hurts*

they do not mesh

that's why you see everyone retract from you

because i tell the cold hard truth?

if you're noticing that you can't get a rise out of people and they're talking right past you

im not trying to irk you

a lot of it is because your reality has gotten so distorted

that people just go

"oh he's nuts"

and they disregard what you think

people can inherently recognize that kind of thinking

and they recoil from it

like look up this query

do I seem upset with you

said the guy with the now dead channel and show and left

or like I'm responding emotionally to your points or even engaging with them

where did those people go l0de

did they recoil from you begging

I'm not because I know you're losing your mind

where did your audience go l0de

I'm typing to you now just to be part

of the huge number of people who will have to tell you to get help

before you will finally do so

or become homeless

ive been homeless, it sucks less than watching a grown man beg online

If you would like to avoid being homeless again

your issues of mental health have to be addressed

oh, is the tax evader and beggar going to give me life advice

yeah, your projecton doesnt work

I've seen this play out many times

I know that it takes many, many people telling someone to get help

before they finally figure it out

Don't wind up on the train tracks mark

you dont get to beg for money and give out advice

if you followed your own advice

you've gotten significantly worse

you wouldnt need to beg

can you follow that?

you are not an authority, you are a beggar

the number of distortions I see in the chat

are higher than they were last year

do you beg for other people to p[ay your taxes, yes or no

everybody can and pays theirs, but you're special

other people should pay it for you

none of this is distorted at all

its the reason your show died

and you know it

ok

Do you have anyone you trust

ive never trusted anybody

at all

well then you have no one you can take this log to

and ask

"hey, which one of us is the crazy one"

find someone you do trust

good luck

do you think they will side with the guy running a dying begshow or the guy pointing out you are running a dying begshow

You can do your own analysis here

if you don't trust anyone else

i know people dont like parasites

run through this log

and see how many times you try to say something negative

and then run through my responses

you want me to be happy the show is dead?

you can see it's pretty one sided

beause im not

there is nothing nice to say about this situation you have created

and that I kind of don't really give a shit what you think about the show

its awful

but I'm pretty sure that you're losing your mind

whatever makes you feel better

it's time to seek some help

it's time for you to seek a job

nobody can respect a beggar

I think you can tell also

In any case, I would prefer you didn't contact me again

you can do whatever you want

but I do not want to talk to you

and will probably not respond

do you think my family, which i spend more time with than anybody, would have noticed some mental illness, or how about my doctors, does l0de know better than all these people

or is he just pandering to himself

so he doesnt feel bad

the last thing I'll leave you with

print out this query

take it to a therapist

talk about how you feel here

what led you to this point

and see what they think

[crimsoncoatedconscience]

` they say there's a fine line between love and hate, and they're right -- you're on that side ( l o v e ) and i'm on this one ( h a t e ) ,

movie therapists tell all the sad and hate-filled main characters to write down their feelings in letters, or journals, because it'll "help." i really don't think it will, but that's more because at this point i don't think ANYTHING will help me. but if there's even the slightest chance...you should, right? i know that's what some people would say.

dear yura-noona,

you're literally the shittiest sister someone could ever have, and i hate you. i guess that's not what little brothers are supposed to say to their sisters, but. there you have it. you're a piece of shit, and sometimes i wish you were dead--or better yet, never born.

but at the same time...i really dont. i dont wish you were dead. i dont wish that you were never born. i dont hate you. not at all. and i hate THAT. i still remember hiding from mom together under your ugly barbie blankets, i still remember that time you played doctor and helped me when dad went a little overboard. i still remember singing to the few disney movies we had, and watching all your bad tv dramas.

i'm not saying everything was perfect, because it wasn't. you hit me almost as much as mom did, and we screamed at each other more than we talked normally, and i still remember when you threw my toys into the fireplace and lied to dad's face just so that he'd hit me instead of you.

it wasn't great before high school, but it wasn't the worst either. and then you did some really bad things to me in first year. things that i didn't realize were as bad as they were, until i got some...better people in my life.

...you and your "girls." ...they still give me nightmares, sometimes, when i can actually sleep. and it all only gets worse when i see your face on the news sometimes, but despite everything...im not mad. i dont hate you like i should. and i watch til the end of the broadcast, every time, just to be sure you're okay.

because you know...i get now, that it's not you. that it's mom, that it's dad. and you were just doing what you had to, to save yourself. and now that im...in a better place i guess, i realize just how shitty that is, but i'd have probably done the same. so i can't blame you.

and i dont hate you. i HATE that i dont hate you, and i hate that i still worry about you.

i hate MYSELF because i still love you,

- chanyeol

dear baechu,

i still can't believe how much i fuckin miss you. i don't think youre supposed to write to dead people, like im pretty sure thats bad and weird but i just. there's so many feelings, and this is supposed to be an outlet, and if you were here right now, i. i dont even know what i'd say. i think about it a lot--what id say if i woke up one day and you werent actually gone, and everything was okay again. because its not even close to okay right now, and i dont think it ever will be again, but...but im trying. because. because "take care?" was one of the last things you said to me, and its one of the only things that stops me when i get...bad. and then i think of that, but it just makes me so sad i actually want to die, but i CANT. ...i wont.

and if you were here again, id tell you that i hate how much power you still have over me, even if youre not here, and-- no. no i wouldnt. id tell you how sorry i am that im a piece of shit, and that im sorry you ever got involved with me in the first place, and that im sorry you suffered so much because of me. id tell you how sorry i am that i got you KILLED. that i couldn't help you because i was fucking LATE . AGAIN.

and id apologize for being the absolute shittiest oppa on the planet, and for just...everything. im still sorry i kept you waiting at graduation. i bet you looked wonderful, before all your flowers wilted, and you got upset because i didnt remember until several hours after the fact. im sorry you never made it very far into college, or pursued any of your dreams. im sorry that it was because of me, and that i took your whole life away. im sorry that you never got to do what you wanted, and that its because i had a few shots too many and spent too long falling on my ass in the crowd while they were MURDERING you.

im sorry that i was just that much too late one too many times, and i HATE that youre dead because of that. if i hadnt been drinking, or gone out at all, youd still be here, trying to get me to wear nicer shoes, and be more polite, instead of in the cemetery, and im just--im so sorry.

i still love you more than you probably ever knew, and i dont know the words to express how sorry i still am that i killed you and how much i HATE M Y S E L F for it.

- with love, chanyeol

dear zitao,

i actually dont know what to say. i think youre a pretty awful person--maybe worse than me, and im not sorry that youre dead. im only sorry i spent so long on you when i dont think you really deserved it, and im sorry about how much pain you ve caused sehun and im angry actually that you just went and got yourself killed after ruining everything--ruining ME. ruining sehun--one of the only people breathing on this earth that means anything to me.

but more than that, i hate MYSELF for getting involved with you and not getting out sooner, and ruining my relationship with yura-noona--the only person from my family that actually matters to me.

now that the shock is gone, the hurt gone, and now that im thinking clearer because i have to be sober, because you fucked EvERYTHING up im not sad anymore. im not upset. not that you're dead--only that your death caused sehun more pain than it had any right to and he almost DIED because of it.

and i guess more than any of THAT, i hate MYSELF for introducing sehun to you, and bringing you home, and into our lives and i hate that if it wasn't for that, sehun wouldn't have tried to kill himself.

sometimes i wish i'd never actually met you. so many things would be better, but even still.

i hate myself because i miss you.

- cànliè

p.s. im also sorry for all the times I hurt YOU and all the pain i caused--without thinking about it, and intentional. im sorry that you suffered because of me, and im sorry that i made everything as shitty as possible for a long time before i pulled my head out of my ass. im sorry that you were miserable enough with me to go to others for basic things like comfort or sex, and i hate myself because I did that to YOU.

and i hate that if your father hadn't come and murdered you because of reasons i still don't really understand, that you'd have probably killed yourself because of me anyway. so im sorry. i hate that im sorry, and i hate that any of this ever happened at all.

and i hate myself because maybe i'm the shittier person and you didn't deserve anything that happened to you after all.

dear sehun,

i dont even know where to start. im sorry that im an awful hyung and im so so thankful that you're still alive and here with me, and im sorry that you've had to suffer so much for me. when we were younger, i didnt realize just how much you would come to mean to me through the years--i didnt know that standing up for one scrawny kid and scaring the bullies off would lead to what we have today. and im not even sure what it is--its more than friendship, but i cant say you feel like family because my family is...well, you know. that's why you're here, with me. rather than with yura-noona.

and even if it left me with a scar, and even if it's what led to the start of everything going bad with her, and my parents--well, more than it already was--i dont regret saving you from her. part of me thinks i should. part of me thinks it was really stupid. i didnt know you. all i knew was that you were kinda lame, and couldn't take a hit for shit, and that you seemed like a nice kid, and i still have no idea why i went against the only person at the time that meant anything to me--the only one that was kinda on my side, sometimes--just to help get you out, but. i'm glad i did.

i don't know what i'd do without you. we have our moments, sure, but you help keep me grounded, keep me sane...keep me alive. sehun i cant even count the number of times i wanted to just end it all, and didn't because of you.

because you believe in me. you trust me, even after i failed you too many times to keep track of. you're there for me, and im sorry that i'm not always there for you. im sorry that i dont give you 100% like you give me, and i'm sorry that i dont always notice things, and that i'm the shittest hyung you could ever get stuck with IM SORRY.

...im sorry that i was almost too late to save you when you...yeah. i'm sorry i wasn't there sooner. i'm sorry that it happened because i ...brought zitao home,a nd got us into this mess in the first place. i'm sorry that i couldn't do better for you, that i cANT do better for you, and im sorry that you're stuck with me, and all of the pain that comes with me.

im sorry that i've failed you so many times, and im sorry that i've broken almost every promise i've ever made, and that i can't always keep you safe, or happy, and i'm sorry that i'm not superman, and i HATE that i can't be.

you're the best thing that's ever happened to me sehun, and im sorry and i hate myself because i must be the opposite for you. im really trying harder to be the person you make me out to be, and i hate that i can't achieve it. im sorry.

- chanyeol

dear joohyun-noona,

im sorry that we met the way we did. but im thankful that you helped me, instead of turning me away or leaving me to just...yeah. and i dont have the words but...thank you. without you i'd actually be dead, and even though it hurts and im more ashamed than i know how to say, i'd rather feel that than be, you know..gone. so thank you. thank you.

thank you for believing in me too, and for always saying the nicest things, even though i dont deserve to hear them, and i don't understand how you mean them. i know youre sincere, i just dont know how or WHY. im a monster compared to you, and i dont understand how you havent run screaming yet, or why you insist that im not because i AM and.

and i hate that i can't believe you. i want to noona, i do. but i can't, because there's just so much bad, and so many things i've done wrong, and i just. between stitches and real food and crashing on your couch ive come to love you a lot more than i have any right to, and im sorry that i dont deserve what you give me in return.

im sorry im always a mess, and taking up your time, and getting your clean floors dirty. im sorry that i cling, and break down too often, and i know you say you dont mind but how can you not? i haven't done anything in return except give you headaches, and i hate that.

i hate that you say nice things about me, that you tell me nice things, and make me think that i can be something better than i am, and i hate myself because i can't live up to those standards.

i hate myself even more because i know, if i really tried, i probably could. but im selfish, and there's so many things wrong with me, and so many things ive done WRONG that i dont...i dont deserve for things to get better. i dont deserve to try harder and turn things around, and i dont deserve the good that would come with that.

i dont deserve you at all and i hate myself because i can't let you go.

- chanyeol

dear yongguk-hyung,

i really dont know what to say except im sorry. i know you tried to help me in school and i really do appreciate it. even if it seems like i've thrown away everything you tried to help me with, its not because i hate you or what you tried to teach me. i just. bad things happened, and i hate that everything we did together just...fell away. i dont even know a good phrase for that, because nothing stuck, and im sorry for that too. that im a fuck up and a failure, and i hate myself because all i did was waste your time--time you could have used to make money off of other kids who actually had a future.

im sorry that i couldnt live up to what you wanted, and im sorry that we met again in the way we did, and i hate how awful i've become, and how awkward it is, and i hate that you look at me the way you do, but i dont hate you hyung. i hate ME.

i hate that im worthless, and useless and that i'm the actual biggest screwup ever, and im sorry that i broke the promises i made you. im sorry that i couldnt do better. and im sorry that you have to see me like this now.

every time i see you, the shame and regret and guilt are almost too much for me, and im sorry that it gets in the way of anything you try to say to me now. im sorry that i cant listen like i should, and i hate that i've disappointed you so much. ...and not just in school. or based on how many english words i remembered from our lessons.

im sorry that i'm an embarrassment, and that you have to deal with me again, and im just. so sorry that i didn't live up to your expectations.

i'm sorry that i can't be the person that you wanted me to be, and i hate myself because i still want you to treat me like i am.

- chanyeol

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

Be A Nice Human

I know why my Grandma kept all those pictures of her and her abusive ex, Kevin. They still stayed friends for many years after they squashed it out and got over what happened after they broke up. He would still come by every so often (even though he was a drunkard and he also cheated on her too) she knew she could never really cut him out of her life. But she learned to love him from a distance, and they stayed friends after. He would come by to help fix her car, built a counter for her in her kitchen when she bought a new house, and brought her weed to smoke to help relieve her pain.

Its crazy, but love is so damn hard to get rid of. Its like a child. And you can't throw away something as pure of an emotion as love is.

Im finally accepting that its ok to not go back to them and still appreciate what I learned from them. I dont need to hurt anyone anymore because of all the pain I was from dealing with them during, before, and after each especially traumatizing breakup.

I can still find love who is right for me to choose. Trans or not. I cant give up just because of one person. My mtb person will come and we'll sing to each other at our wedding party. Imma wait for the right person, before I open up my heart to them next time.

I'll be patient in love, accepting and giving, and learn how to let go properly without trying to burn a cord so quickly just because there's a soul tie I want to stop thinking about immediately after breaking up with them, and not wanting to be jealous anymore.

However, I was right. Jay and Ayunna both did mentally and emotionally scar me and they took advantage of my kindness and love towards them. So there's still a thin line between love and hate that they still need to remember. You cant treat anybody any kind of way, call them out their name, disrespect them, leave, abandon them for revealing their emotions, and then just come back when you say so. Humans don't interact like that and shouldn't try to control somebody's mind, heart, feelings, or attention from somebody else just because you still want to play them for sex later.....and this person actually wanted something you didn't with them.....love and commitment.

They both looked at me and made fun of me like Rudolph the Red nosed reindeer. I was so different to them, that I got teased, mocked, and made fun of a lot by both Jay and Ayunna individually. But what happened, happened and I learned my lesson about ghosters and abusers, and how to be more careful with crazy people.

Especially to be even more caring and patient and sensitive to my needs and not to just go along with what somebody wants me to do to please them. I can't take back the harsh negative words I chose to say, but things happen for a reason. And I am hurting again. Because I was feeling regretful about leaving, but I don't wanna be somebody's #2 choice replacement, nor do I deserve lack of respect just because I am classified a woman. There was some sexist crap Jay and Ayunna would follow just because I was more feminine than them, doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed to be dominant. I am Dom. Most definitely. And I choose who I am too. Im allowed to call myself Dom. I can be harsh and cruel just like they were. But now they hate me for being this way towards them, because i knew where their soft spots were, but i honor and respect people's feelings 1st to never hit their vulnerable insecurities until they fuck with my own on purpose, full shot on, and multiple repeated actions that weren't corrected on their behalf.

Jay acts like a subby brat, but switched to Dom whenever they wanted to make me submit. Im glad I got my power back though. Knowing that you can call your own title without their approval really made me feel better about standing my ground. I didn't need to be called a sub, just cause they wanted me to weaken myself down to a more pleasing, controllable level. Cause I am smarter and stronger than them, it just took them too long to figure that out, that I do have a dominant, fair, but yet firm standard of belief systems. I do have morals I tend to stand by. And watching Ayunna get hurt by them too, pissed me the fuck off.

Cause how could you repeatedly choose her over me, then go as far to ask to flirt or sleep with more women than you already had right in front of you? If you couldn't make sure us 2 was already taken care of and pleased with this relationship...why tf could you be so greedy and so rude and cruel to think that it would be ok to ask for more girls to flirt with you, when we were already giving you the attention you asked for?

You made us 2 feel like we weren't good enough to satisfy you, when truth is no one can until you learn how to do it yourself and love yourself, respect yourself better and stop calling yourself an asshole and treating your body, your face, and your heart like shit just because you're a miserable little fuck. Just because you have an attitude doesn't mean me, Ayunna, and whoever new you decide to replace my presence with....isn't gonna tolerate it.

That's why I left too. But there's multiple reasons. I'm choosing the positive choice to love you from afar and to find me another transman, nonbinary, tranfemale to love who isn't going to reject me, use me, or hurt me the way you did.

Because people are individuals, doesn't mean all trans people are alike and not all think its ok to hurt other women sadistically or for their own game play for "enter-painment". Yes, I said it.

Good Day.

-Darth Vader, Out.