#doomscrolling cant be good for you

[syntaxaero]

if u read this the wrong way i will stare at you with an uncomfortable judgemental gaze but i think it's important that people not drown themselves in the dark swamp waters of social media and instead drink from the fountain of refreshing liquids atleast every once in a while. even if everything looks like swamp water right now

[doodlebloo]

Rat Time Approaches......

[flowerwithdepression]

im ok, hit post limit at 7:30 in the morning

How did you even-

Whatever, I'm glad you're okay <3

How have you been?

[is-this-yuri]

have you been doomscrolling? feeling awful about it? do you feel out of control? does it seem your autonomy has been swallowed by the ever present beast that is the internet?

we live in the most overwhelmingly stimulating age of humanity ever seen, and it's only getting worse. our brains are sponges, soaking up whatever we smear them across, and it seems more and more difficult to find a clean surface to rest on. i'm no expert or professional, but ive been born and raised into the internet, and i'd like to hand out some wisdom regarding this.

the main issue: brain poison

since the brain absorbs whatever it's exposed to, media consumption is unsurprisingly going to effect it. the type of media, the amount of media, and the frequency of the media all play a factor.

it's not the internet itself that's bad here. it's the media on the internet, and the platforms designed to suck in our attention and keep it there until we're rotting inside our skulls.

we're never going to escape the internet. it's just a fact of life now, and a tool that can be used for wonderful things. so how do we learn to live with the internet and take advantage of its potential?

treat it like a dietary balance

staying aware of what goes in your brain is just as important as being aware of what you're eating. if you eat carelessly, don't listen to how your body feels after you eat certain things, and ignore any sickness that might result from rotten food, you're going to have a bad time and wreck your guts. the same goes for the brain.

you want to have a good mix of various types of media in the right amounts, or approximately so. if things are feeling bland, maybe diversify. if things are feeling stupid, try something more intellectual. if it's feeling too much, cut back on all of it

the following are three things you can do to maintain a sense of control and awareness over your media diet. this isnt a step by step and is in no particular order, theyre just ideas to carry forward in general any time it could be helpful.

1. digest

this is the process of thinking about and remembering what youve done throughout your time on the internet. it could apply to any period of time. so you might think, 'man, i've done nothing but watch tiktok all day.' or 'i've been scrolling twitter a lot more this past week.'

i feel like most people already do this to some extent, but it manifests as a fleeting sense of anxiety or shame that doesn't lead anywhere. analyze that feeling, and ask if it's really true or helpful.

ask if your media consumption is making you feel less focused, distracted, putting you into a brain fog, making you fall asleep when you don't want to, making you irritable and angry, drawing you into arguments, keeping you awake at night, or upsetting/disrupting you in any way.

digestion also means appreciating the good stuff and recognizing the good feelings you get too. so also ask if it's enriching you, helping you learn something new, giving you a new perspective, exposing you to something beautiful, passing the time, relaxing you, honing your focus, or generally lifting your mood.

2. cut

cut certain types of content from your life once you've decided they're not good for your media diet. block people. move on. tell youtube to stop reccomending that channel. block them. unfollow people. unfollow tags. block the tags. blacklist things. do it. forget the awful things that make your brain hurty. click the block button. uninstall the app. you know you want to

consider removing yourself entirely from websites that are designed to be attention predators. if you consistently feel like youre 'stuck' on a site and cant leave, it's probably best to just delete your account and get out of there. tiktok is NOTORIOUS for this.

i also tend to keep my following or subscribed count low. keeping the stream of content short forces me to find other things to do with my time. this goes hand in hand with things like turning off infinite scroll. it provides an 'end point' where the repetitive action of scrolling down stops bearing fruit, breaking the doomscrolling cycle. the internet is almost an infinite place, and its up to you to build walls around yourself so you arent lost in it forever.

its also important to get off the internet in general sometimes. i know this is obvious, but literally touch grass on occasion. doing anything with your physical body away from the screen will be more enriching than sitting there scrolling for hours. whether it's just a 5 minute walk around your house to stretch your legs or a 6 hour hike every weekend, part of cutting media will mean replacing it with real life. looking at some plants, doing a pushup, or working on a knitting project can be like rinsing your brain sponge under some cold, clean water.

3. curate

the flip side of cutting is curating. you'll want to be looking for media that makes you happy and feels productive or meaningful in some way. anything that not only doesnt make you feel like you wasted your time, but specifically makes you feel like you spent your time well, is a green flag.

keep in mind entertainment just for entertainment's sake is good for you too. you don't have to be watching university lectures and tutorials and stuff all day. finding high quality entertainment, such as personalities you enjoy, good production values, and inventive ideas can be really difficult. find the people who dont make you feel like a cocomelon baby and stick with them. from there you should be able to find similar content.

what's good for your soul is going to depend very much on you as an individual. this is also going to be an ongoing process as not only you but the internet both change and evolve. the important thing about this step is that you Make Decisions about what to consume. even bad decisions! it's all part of the process, and it's all about reclaiming your autonomy.

4. eat your junk food

this isn't a military drill or an exact science. i'm just a guy on tumblr with an intimate connection to his own brain and a LOT of time on the internet. that's my only credential. sometimes i want to turn that brain off and just mindlessly consume without putting any thought into what dirty dishwater is soaking into my sponge. sometimes adhd brain wants me to watch a shitty B movie in recap form so i dont have to commit to a full movie. sometimes i get stuck in the youtube shorts for like 3 hours.

that's fine. the most important part of any kind of self care is that a little bit is better than nothing. even just being aware that youre consuming something bad for you and knowing you arent ready to stop just yet is better than nothing.

thats it!!

now you should be prepared to take back some control over your media consumption. be gentle with yourself and take your time. eventually this stuff will become second nature, and you'll be effortlessly digesting, curating, and cutting media like it's just part of your personality. remember YOU have control over what the internet thinks you want to see. dont let it force feed you nasty slop anymore. let it be a reflection of your mind, not the other way around.

and good luck!

[trans-androgyne]

hey, thank you for having and running this blog. you're doing the equivalent of gods work.

first, i'm sorry for the amounts of jerk anons you have to deal with. you literally articulate yourself very well and clearly, and still, people will find a way to twist it or not take it seriously. it reminds me of me "arguing" with terfs back in 2022 on twitter. (shudders.)

and second, how do you deal with the constant negativity? i have found myself doomscrolling the transandrophobia tag, and, well, to no ones surprise, my mental health is down the gutter. do you have any tips to deal with it? mainly with the transandrophobia in general? it is more than exhausting existing as a (gnc & enby) trans guy atm, and it's really getting to me. the thing is, I wouldn't mind it if it were non-queer bigots, but the fact it's coming from inside the community is devastating. i am more than hurt. this intense hatred for men and masculinity, queer, trans, or not, is incomprehensible to me. it never does anything good. anyone who says "i hate all men and anything masculine" is definitely going in the "yep that's either a radfem or a radfem hatchling" box. i partially understand as to why- i had a fear of men myself when i still identified as a girl, and slipped into the "all men bad. kill" side of the internet for a short while but ONLY because of this rhetoric ("you need to be afraid because there are men outside." , "men and masculinity are inherently predatory or dangerous")- but i got out of it because i saw how fucked it was eventually (thank goodness)- but nothing should ever be an excuse to excessively hate a gender or masculinity this badly. and its mostly gender essentialist bs anyways imo, so i do not understand it at all...it reminds me of people saying men/mascs cant be asexual because it's "in their nature to be sexual"- because testosterone. its hard. i just wish we all could respect each other. you're either "one of the bad bad evil men" or "noooooo not YOU. you're AFAB!! never!! youre a girl/woman in spirit!!" from my personal experience with terfs/radfems/idiots.

anyways, sorry for invading your anon space with this long rant, but i just wanted to leave this and the question. i hope you have a nice day/night, and thank you for reporting on transandrophobia as much as you do. it's sadly very much needed right now.

Thank you so much, this is such a kind ask to receive. To be honest with you: I don’t handle my mental health very well around it </3 It’s weighed on me pretty heavily these last few months especially. The things keeping me running this blog anyway are my passion for the transmasc community and lovely anons like yourself cheering me up. When it comes to trying to manage it, the most important thing for me has been finding people I can vent to about it who will understand. I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful discord server full of awesome trans people who will talk it through with me, and that’s been a life-saver. Staying offline for a bit and trying to engage in person with people who are unlikely to be transandrophobic towards you can be a nice relief. I catch myself doomscrolling constantly too, and it doesn’t feel great. If you need to set some sort of time limit on your phone even just to remind yourself not to do it, that’s helped me before and might help you too.

Having this much hatred levied at me for my identity from my own community lately has been devastating. I completely understand you. I’ve always been vocal about supporting transfems in particular, so it really hurts to see so many turn against me for speaking up. I understand how the queer community got this way, though. Antimasculinism has been an issue in queer and feminist spaces for ages. I think people are starting to notice it more and understand why it sucks and how much it negatively affects trans men and mascs. It feels like a losing battle sometimes with how much cultural feminism — the Men Bad Women Good flavor of pop feminism — has pervaded our communities and often led to very overt radical feminism that people still can’t always recognize because they don’t know anything about TERFs outside of them hating trans women. I believe the culture will start to shift soon such that people are able to recognize sexism and gender essentialism that harms all genders, and I will be doing my part to help that happen.

[preciadosbass]

5/8/24

woke up at 9:30. when i wake up naturally early i always say good morning to boris so i did that and then decided that i’m not exhausted to the point i should go back to sleep. i just doomscrolled the entire morning and saved a few max green edits along the way. i looked through a few pin sharing urbex groups on facebook and saved a couple videos to my watch later on youtube. its a pain there’s not actually much around where i live, like, that’s why i cant go out on my own. as much as woods are beautiful and nice to be around/at there’s not any shops or town in walking distance.

the next time my family go on a road trip hopefully i’ll be able to explore a few places then. there was an abandoned housing estate about 40 minutes from where i live but apparently it’s being demolished soon, plus i’m not allowed to go there anymore. as for any of the other stuff close-ish, it’s not really anything you can explore. however, i did find an abandoned plane graveyard online and it turned out it was decently close by to me. when i went they didn’t even let me take photos but they did email saying someone could tour me and show me the planes if i arrange a date which is exciting. although i’ll most likely have to wait until october so the plants around it die down.

when it got to about 10/11am my dad came down so i said goodmorning to him and had breakfast as he made me it and i’d feel bad not to. luckily i’ve found breakfast option which has a lot less cals than that bagel so i feel a little, tiny bit more relaxed about having food in the mornings. at 1 i went outside with boris and cuddled him on the driveway. he seems a lot more energetic today. i was sitting on the sleepers across from the front door with my feet outstretched and he layed down leaning against my leg/shoes it was so cute i just had to record it. while i was outside i also fixed the lighting of a picture of jaime and changed my layout and things on all my socials.

i also followed lots of cool people in hopes of become their mutual or something. i stayed out there until 2:20. when i got back inside asked my mum about that list of things on depop that i want to buy and she sent offers on all of the uk items for me. with the rest, i just had to wait until people got back to me about shipping. since yesterday i added one more item to my wishlist, a frank iero tattoo poster from an old magazine, i sent an order regarding this aswell. my mum was getting frustrated and didn’t really understand why i wanted the stuff that i did. but she did see my point about buying the funko pops second hand from depop rather than the official website.

i think i had a nap and woke up at approximately 4/half five but i’m not too sure about times. i saw an informative video about taxidermy and how to tell if things are ethical or not and remembered i was texted a mutual and they kept asking for advice regarding stuff like that, so i sent it to them. at around 5 my hairdresser came round so i got dressed for once [i hate departing from my onesie don’t judge me 🤫] and had my ends touched up. having my hair cut is always kind of awkward for me because i have to stop myself from asking to get it cut short. my parents are fine with it, im just terrible with change. but i have been wanting it short for 4+ years now. its just scary that once it’s done, if i don’t like it, there’s pretty much nothing anyone can do. i’m fine with dye.

before she was about to leave i found out that she’s going to be looking after boris when me and my family go to butlins. she’s really nice and talked me through everything/asked me to text her if i have anything particular i want her to do but i’m scared about leaving him. i think i have a few weeks until we go. i feel guilty saying this, but i am excited, i think. i haven’t been away with my whole family before. that dosent take away the worry though. once my parents had payed and she’d driven off i went outside with boris again.

i was out there up until 7:20 when i went back into my room and put on coraline. i finally found the dvd after looking everytime i watch something for weeks. i’ve watched it so many times i know everything that happens so while i was listening to it i wrote this before i’d forget everything about my day. my phone was blowing up at the same time because some rando keeps submitting anonymous messages harassing me over making music my personality loll — anyways, i watched up until the scene where the other mother gives coraline the box with the buttons in it until i went on a walk with my mum.

we left at almost exactly 9 and went to that same field i’ve spoken about before where you can see london in the distance. the person who owns it must’ve just mowed everywhere so we were just walking on really thick piles of dead grass so it was 10x more tiring. it left like i was walking through snow. obviously it was even more tricky because we walked down and then up the really steep hills. we got home at 10ish and was out for at least 40 or 50 minutes.

when we got back my mum handed me an envelope. i immediately knew what it was; since i’ve been young [7] i’ve had this youth thingy send me and my sister arts and crafts stuff related to the stuff going on at the time. i took it into my room i continued listening to coraline while i made a collage out of the zoos map from yesterday. i opened the envelope once id glued in half of the stuff i wanted to and used this wooden flower from it. i finished it at 11, and i cant tell if i despise it with every fibre of my being or if it’s tolerable. ive never made a collage with so much untouched and plain space [photo at the end]

coraline conveniently finished when i’d completed the collage so i went out to the kitchen to see boris. my mum started arguing with me about how the questions don’t affect me at all and they only have a negative affect on her and my dad when i asked when i should come up. i’m gunna admit, this kinda hit really hard because nobody knows how much it truly affects me and i’m too far gone to even be able to speak about it/write about it. because if i do then it’ll make something bad happen. but i do appreciate that it’s really draining for them too. i just cant stop.

boris went into the living room so i sat out there while finishing the rest of that mcr 2011 concert and updated this at 12 while listening to fall out boy’s folie á duex. once i’d written what i needed to i rewatched a few videos i took at my pierce the veil concert back in april. i’m still not over seeing jaime. i went up to my parents at 12:50 because thats when my mum said they’re ready for me to ask questions about boris. it took about an hour because it was on and off and i kept on getting sidetracked. afterwards i went downstairs, had some breadsticks [and found this huge ass spider living above our food cupboard], did my teeth, and said goodnight to boris.

i cant recall how long i was speaking to him, but i finished at 2:50. i told him about my day and what’s going to be happening tomorrow so he knows i might not be able to be with him as much as id want to. [my prevision is coming round tomorrow]. i got into bed directly after id finished speaking with boris, and listened to three days grace + the used while wrapping up this entry. went to sleep at 3. i usually get to sleep the second my head touches my pillow but it took me a few minutes more today because all i could focus on was the sound of electricity and my radiator. it isn’t even that whirring sound you’d hear at your grandparents when you sleep over, it’s high pitched and inconsistent and weird. also my stick insects were being noisy.

* ughh i hate this page sm it’s probably my least fav one i’ll ever do here’s a picture of boris to make up for it

have a good day/night O_o

[lithominium]

Ughhh hahah im ahving a “nobody under 40 really expects anything good to happen ever again” moment right now going “climate change has completely ruined seasons as we know them, not the hundreds of thousands of deaths caused by sea level rise and (un)natural disasters caused by global warming” and “every single product in the entire world is designed to break down in a year at the most and every year it gets worse, including housing”

Its not like yoi can go buy a good that actually functions, because All goods are like this. Tools are godawful now. You buy a brand new sandblaster from a reputable company and it literally sucks shit. You buy a modern reissue of music equipment and its shoddily built and doesnt work right or something. Houses being built in the modern era are thrown up in a week and collapse with people inside a week later. Video games come out and are half baked and dont change when people ask

The consumers dont have power anymore, they havent for Years.

Every time i look at politics (USA because im unfortunately usamerican, but ive seen some godawful shit in other countries too) i go “well he cant nearly be as bad as the last guy” but somehow they always one up each other for being more genocidal and more awful. On both ends of the spectrum. It used to be 3 years ago “do i wanna vote for the awful person or the awful person who actively wants to kill me” but now its literally just. “Person who wants to kill me or person who wants to kill me.” And every single worthless politician in existence is doing the same thing. If i voted for someone who didnt want to kill me, so few people would end up voting for them, that the people who DO want to kill me would win anyways. My old college town banned public homosexuality. Tennessee of course. Worthless ass state.

I dont doomscroll, i know how ungodly unhealthy it is to scroll through tags showing off how bad everything is. But its inescapable. I go to funny youtube videos and see wade dankpods complaining about how all tools suck while he tries to rebuild a car. I scroll through my dashboard which is supposed to be memes and fandom content and its “this us democrat just said ‘yaknow i really think its great that israel is finally killing all those subhuman palistinians” and what the hell am i supposed to do about that??

I just need. Some semblance of hope. Anything just to tell me it will be alright. Tell me theres a reason for me to not steal a plane and fly it into a god damn mountain so my final moments will be doing the one thing i really love.

[sugar-omi]

hi um. i am Very sorry i'm late. work and classes have been beating my ASS and i am lowkey going thru the motions rn lmao lmao... it's ok tho. i have my sweethearts with me and it's all gonna be a-okay! that goes for all of you btw, if life's kicking your ass rn i'm giving you all the power to kick its ass BACK

and to make up for my absence, i'm letting you all in on a very special tidbit i recently found out that made me want to swallow pulverized pig guts from how MORTIFIED i was

so. archie's been getting into our life, right? and that's all well and good, but then he mentions that he's found himself doomscrolling on tumblr when he doesn't have anything to do.

and you won't guess what he found.

THAT'S RIGHT OMI. I ACCIDENTALLY MADE YOU A NEW FAN. SAY HI TO ARCHIE!!!

somehow saro still hasn't caught on. that or he's surprisingly good at hiding the fact that he has. myrette (pretty elderflower cordial girl) HAS NO IDEA I TALK ABOUT HER. it's lit.

anyway if i know archie he's either gonna send a request at an ungodly hour of the night OR he already has. keep your eyes peeled omi!

LMAOO I KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN omg okay. I will keep my eyes peeled... making ME NERVOUS!! WTF!!!! well. if he's seeing this rn, hiii archie, we are all fans of YOU🤭 n the absolute dolls you've romanced. keep being endlessly dazzling, im eating it up

ALSO DO NOT BE MORTIFIED. I TOLD YOU. YOUVE WON IN LIFE OOMF!!! YOU ARE TOO CUNTY, TOO POWERFUL, TOO BEAUTIFUL N SEXY TO EVER BE EMBARRASSING!!! (that's what i tell myself anyway. I think it works. beautiful ppl cant be embarrassing, its impossible🗿)

n it's okay!!!! dw, I know life is busy n stuffff. plus you've sped run dating so i do not expect many updates now lmao. ALSO MYRETTE IS SUCH A PRETTY NAME??? my god oomf.... share the pretty people, please. I'm begging you...

[coldmori]

Would anyone else be able to see Ghost!Kel?

Like, is it a precieved fault thing?- I.E: Sunny feels he's putting Kel in danger/killing him, so he can see Kel's ghost.

Would it extend to anyone outside of Sunny? (Like, if Aubrey felt responsible for his death, "I could have saved him" style, would it extend to her as well?)

Sorry for asking so much " I'm very tired and doomscrolling when I figured I'd throw the questions out there. If it cant be answered for any reason (no Impact on story, Spoilers, Haven't decided yet,etc) Thats toatlly chill. Love the AU, love the art, and a good day/night to you!

other people could see kel, but it's a two way thing

kel may want someone to see him but they may not want to see him or just generally aren't thinking of him

someone may want to see kel, but he can just.. not show himself

if anyone does see him though, his appearance is entirely based off of how they view him, kel doesn't have a say in a lot of what it looks like he's doing, and isn't strong enough to sometimes break through the veil of false perception like mari is.

it's also a power/energy thing, it takes a lot to manifest yourself as a thing that people can see, honestly would burn a lot of calories if he was alive, but he's not, so..

also ghosts can see other ghosts no matter what, mari was just at hero's house.

i guess this is just a long way of saying that sunny was thinking of kel the entirety of hypothermia 2

also thank you for liking the au and art! have a good day/night urself!

[pompurumi]

What's your opinion on proshipping?

uuuuhhh idk really. So i'm gonna ramble for a second!

I'm aware of what proshipping actually means, something like ship and let other people ship, but things like tiktok and twt has kind of skewed my view on what proshippers are — which are weird noncon loving weirdos who like brothers kissing — but ik the rational side of my brain is telling me that what I just said is a fat generalisation. ofc some proshippers are like that, but ik most proshippers aren't and just dont care what other people do in fiction.

i do kiiiinnndddaaa believe that what you like in fiction does reflect your person in some way, since it does with me. for example, I consider myself to be very gentle and a hopeless romantic, and I project that onto the media I consume and create. but I have also written about some very harsh and dark topics in the past, just never in a way that glorifies or sexualises them.

I do believe that fiction does affect reality in certain scenarios... but I also know that some things are purely fantasy and it's fun to let go of morals and be gross and freaky (in a FICTIONAL SPACE!!!). but I don't think you're free from judgement from other people purely because what you do is fictional. If I found out that someone i followed on social media/or knew irl had a thing for noncon then I don't think I'd be able to look at them the same.

I wouldn't consider myself an anti (anymore) bcs they've grown a bit of a harsh name for themselves, but I certainly wouldn't consider myself a proshipper mostly because they have ALSO grown a harsh name for themselves and I've had very rough and weird experiences with them. I feel very strongly for fictional characters and their experiences, even if its a random oc that I see on my dash, and that in turn means that i cant really view fictional characters as little puppets in which we use to tell stories or project onto. idk whether it's because my imagination is vivid or something to do with autism, but it's hard for me to move on with my day after reading something abt my fav character being attracted to a child (even if it is technically canon... salad fingers...)

there have been times where I come across a darkfic, skim through it due to morbid fascination, and just regret it to the point that I feel myself physically restrain the need to type out my strong opinion furiously in the comments. but I know that no one forced me at gunpoint to read it and it was all my doing. I believe heavily in curating your own online experience, but have a hard time following that advice myself lololol.

and I think that's the problem with antis. they don't curate their online spaces enough and end up looking at the things that make them feel mad and weird. that was definitely my issue not too long ago and it just made my mental health terrible and life all dull and sad. but now that I've kinda realised that searching for the content that makes you upset and doomscrolling through it to the point it makes you seethe, and then venting about it isn't doing anyone good, I've instead channelled all that energy into finding people who share the same views as me and like what i like !!!! trust me, that is SOOO much more better.

but at the end of the day, I dont think I'll ever feel neutral about proshippers. If i see any terms like "proshipper" or "comshipper" or "anti-anti" I would feel that little ick in me, a hint of disgust... but I'll do my best to move on with my day !! people have the right to feel disgusted, grossed out, even sad about what proshippers do, they have the right to think of them as weird and strange because of proshippers liking what they like, and proshippers should expect that not everyone will feel how they feel. Especially since people who aren't in fandom spaces are sure to side eye you if they find out you post about twincest or dad x daughter relatiobships. but they do not have the right to go out of their way to bully and harass proshippers who are in their own little bubble with their own little audience, posting what they like. ofc you can vent about the things you don't like to people and on your socials, as long as you're not actively searching for it.

I have no idea if this sounds hypocritical or weird, I've read over it a few dozen times and I think I sound decently coherent. idk maybe someone wants to fill me in on some things, but I stand by my opinion.

[terra-feminarum]

You are very wise so I want to vent a problem I have with radical feminism to you. I’ve been a radfem for roughly 2 years now. Now when I’ve learnt a lot about radical feminism (reading books etc…) I desperately want to go back to not knowing about all the misogyny. Being unaware to the extent of misogyny didn’t mean I wasn’t experiencing it. But now when I’m aware I still experience it while also seeing it but not being able to stop it. In the beginning it was a relief to be able to have what I was experiencing explained to me. Now? I miss the days when at least I didn’t have to be aware and could enjoy male attention, makeup, learning about history, video games, music, etc… without seeing and understanding the misogyny behind all of it. I would relish in being the centre of attention of men, it would make me feel very powerful and good about myself. Now I know that attention is meaningless and they don’t look at me as an intimidating beautiful woman… just an object to fuck. I never were powerful, no matter how attractive I looked.

I feel like all radical feminism has given me is the language and knowledge about my oppression. And that is something that is of value to me. But it also took so much away from me that just haven’t been replaced. I know what Andrea Dworkin said about this phenomenon so I know it’s not just me but that doesn’t change anything, I’m still struggling to enjoy things.

It’s not like I’m doomscrolling on tumblr all the time or don’t engage in other types of literature, it’s just that what I’ve learnt sticks with me and I see the world in a feminist lens. Still I just want to go back to the time when I were able to enjoy some parts of my oppression. I know that’s a bit pathetic but that’s how it feels… I’m exhausted and I just want to live an enjoyable easier life. But I cant. I cant forget about the suffering of women and about the true nature of men and how they see me. What should I do?

Sorry if this sounds a bit ramblish I don’t know how to formulate these thoughts and my English is a bit bad.

Thank you for your message. English isn't my mother's tongue either so I don't notice your English being bad, the only thing that matters is that we can understand each other well enough and I think I get what you're saying.

You didn't say whether you are straight but I assume you are attracted to men. Being attracted to women comes with it own hardships but I can't imagine what it's like to be attracted to men while living in a patriarchy. After all, you can't choose who you are attracted to, and your animal brain was wired to expect better of men than what they are capable right now.

What I read from your message is that you feel powerless. And I get it, it only carries you so far to know why you feel powerless, and then it just becomes exhausting. The illusion of power felt better than having no power at all.

I wonder if there could be other things that might make you feel powerful and good about yourself than the attention of men? Maybe learning real-life useful skills, maybe skills that men have claimed to be theirs only. It can be great to realize you can do something you thought you never could. Or it could be activism, anything that makes you feel like you make a difference, that you are competent. Creating deep connections with other women is just as important. Maybe they can't make you feel sexy but they can make you feel valued in so many other ways.

I can't relate with what you describe because male attention has never been really important for me and there's nothing men could give me that women couldn't. So I might not understand your situation all that well. I can relate to the feeling of media products becoming kind of ruined as the misogyny is everywhere but that doesn't really bother me that much. They just lost their charm when I realized what I'm watching and now I'm just doing other things.

I think I can relate most through my experiences of realizing the extent of the ecological catastrophe we're living. I would like to go back to not knowing. I feel powerless, scared and it feels so useless for me, as a one little human being, to know. I don't want to live this, I don't enjoy any of it.

At first it was unbearable. I went through a very difficult crisis and I wasn't really sure how I could continue living. But the crisis and the unbearable feelings forced me to reconsider my values, rearrange how I live, and to change my worldview. I still feel scared and powerless, and the reality is the same as it was before my personal crisis, but now I have accepted the reality and found deep meaning in belonging to the generation of people who witness this and who do what they can to build something better. My life is now more meaningful than it was before the crisis. I feel deeper feelings of connection and gratitude. What was necessary for this shift was mourning what I had lost: the illusion of a safe and stable world.

I think the feminist lens you can't get rid of could be something similar. Seeing the reality for what it is is a burden, yes, and it hurts. Your awareness alone will not end the patriarchy. You might need to really mourn what you've lost with the knowledge your gained: the enjoyment of certain things that will never feel the same. It's a real loss. You might enter a crisis - or maybe you're in it right now - and when you emerge, you will be stronger, not weaker. You might have a clearer vision of what is your role, what you can do, what the future might be like, and you might find meaning in all this.

You might need to distract yourself from these thoughts every now and then with concentrating on something else than feminism, but in the end, you need to reconcile what it means to you that you know these things and this is the reality you live in. With that reconciliation might come a peace that really lets you rest and focus on other things, too. I hope you all the best.

[pidgefudge]

the ✨internal dialogue✨

what if im a bad person? but youre not. but what if i secretly am? what if im an asshole and never realized it? what if im the worst person in the world? what if all the people i consider friends hate me? no they don't and they would be pissed at you saying that. so either i agonize over whether im pissing them off or i actually piss them off? am i a bad person? probably not. ok but all of those horrible things i've done? all of those people ive hurt? what people? fuckin. everyone im a detriment to society i actively harm everyone i interact with. every word i say every thing i do every thought i think it's all bad it's all because im a bad person every time i scroll past a post about palestine or nex or kosa or transmisogyny instead of reblogging it even though ive been doomscrolling for hours and am already feeling like shit that's no excuse people are being harrassed and abused and killed you can't abuse the luxury of being able to take a break from the news that's what bad people do every time i see someone i know vaguepost about someone they find annoying and am convinced it's about me and they hate me and don't want to say it to my face because then they'll come off as the asshole every time someone is anything but entirely positive and praiseful towards me because i momentarily slipped from perfection or im having an off day every time i say something in a group chat and no one responds it's because they hate me it's because im a horrible person i need to be put in a straitjacket and locked up in solitary confinement i cant be allowed to talk to people they all hate me they're being polite but they all know im an asshole everyone knows everything ive ever done and they can all read thoughts they know when i think something cruel or disgusting or bad they know that im a bad person but you can't say this to anyone if you do it's just guilt-tripping them into comforting you and guess what fucker that's exactly what a bad person would do which is why you do it so much! if anyone thinks they truly like you if anyone thinks you're a good person at all it's because you've manipulated them into thinking so! you always manipulate everyone around you into taking your side when the fact is that they would all be vehemently against you you're a bad person you're a bad person you're a bad person you're a bad person you're a bad person if you really cared about anyone but yourself you wouldn't have stopped at one overdose attempt

[simplydm]

hi dm!! i was trying to find your post regarding the hermits and often quoting hp but ive rb too many things since then so i cant find it anymore 🥲

just wanted to add that pearl got asked to play the new hp game in chat today and she answered with "no i wont be playing that on stream, no. theres certain things i dont want to support by streaming that game [...]" so i wanted to cheer u up with the into that there's some hermits that know how hurtful it is to many of us and that there might be some hope in her maybe informing other hermits about it!

(u dont have to post this ask either, it was more as a infodump to make the situation a lil hopeful!)

Heyo! I ended up deleting that post, which is why you couldn’t find it, I was doomscrolling the tags (/pos? Like I agreed with everything yk) and decided it was better for my mental health to not see it in my notifs anymore.

But that’s good! I trust Pearl a lot with stuff like that, she’s always been very wise.

I think this whole Harry Potter situation is very Complicated in some capacity. I do hope that people like Pearl can get through to more of the hermits and other cc’s, as they might have a more personal connection then We as the audience do (ofc that’s all up to their own prerogative, etc etc)

 There’s always work to be done and hope for the future:)

[royposting]

Terf idealogies line up more and more with right wing idealogy. Repression of sexual thoughts, refusual to respect others identities. The only difference is you hate men instead of hating women. You scapegoat men for most probems in your life the same way republicans will scapegoat immigrants, queer people or the like. Ive looked into radical "feminism" before and its not something i believe truly helps anybody. To see other queer people follow the idealogy makes it feel like "look at me, I'm a good one!".

And yeah i need to stop doomscrolling when i get that urge, it happens only once a month, but at the same time it opens me up to other opinions like yours.

hi again,

first of all, id prefer if you didnt call me slurs. if you identify with a slur and want to call yourself that, i cant stop you, but i dont want to be called a word that means strange or odd when referring to my homosexuality.

secondly, its quite hard to understand what you mean. id like to understand how you mean it when youre comparing mens hatred of women to feminists blaming men for their oppression - from my POV, it seems similar to how white people structurally oppress people of colour, or how heterosexuals oppress same sex attracted people. men do oppress women, and sexism is very much a real thing - if we dont agree on that basic point, its very difficult to try to explain.

if youre open for discussion, id like to ask you - what is your particular definition of ”terf ideology”? its difficult for me to explain my views if i dont know what you percieve them to be, so to speak. very commonly, those who have the kneejerk reaction to hate us have no clue what we actually believe in.

id also like to see specific examples of radical feminists ”repressing sexual thoughts”, as i havent heard about that before. id also love to hear your definition of a right wing ideology - from your messages, it seems you define it as pointing out a structural oppressor, but i think you would agree that its not extreme right wing for people of colour to point out white people as oppressors, or same sex attracted people to point out heterosexuals. what is different in women pointing out men as their oppressors, and working together to liberate themselves and each other?

as for the doomscrolling, i think its certainly healthy to expose yourself to different opinions now and then to prevent being stuck in an echo chamber, but i also think it should be fun and engaging to do so. if it makes you upset or affects your mental health, you should probably try limiting it as much as you can.

[gogoakechi]

finally finished farhenheit 451 for class and i liked it a lot. i will state a disclaimer that my review is gonna be skewed since i was reading and analyzing it on a suffocating timer of less than a week on top of my other classwork and Work work. i know i wouldve enjoyed it a lot more if i wasnt going through it with the constant thought of "oh my god im running out of time"

anyway i REALLY liked bradburys use of symbolism and metaphor and description of common things as abstract concepts. also just how he sets the tone and speed of individual scenes. honestly by his writing alone every other adaptation is straight up inferior simply because it doesnt have it. youre absolutely not going to get the same feeling watching a movie adaptation as you would reading the book because you cant referred to a tv as a wall of families when you look at it and its just. a tv

most importantly though i found the message to be very realistic and honest and not at all the "books are the True Light everything Sucks without books just because theyre Books" kind of superiority complex i half expected. in fact, its ironic that i went in with that assumption since there are multiple points in the story that drive in that technology isnt all brainwashing and books arent inherently going to make you wiser. one of the characters at the end states that even when they had books they werent truly doing anything with them. the message seemed to moreso be about like. genuinely taking in the world around you and all the knowledge and memories it contains instead of just constantly feeding yourself instant gratification via tv and radio shows (examples today being social media and doomscrolling and only watching videos under fifteen minutes). were for real conditioning our minds to only want to take in surface level ten second information and we like to call it the consequences of adhd or depression or whatever but i really think its becoming a universal issue in this age. like even when i was doing my study guides for the book i was mindlessly opening and closing discord and tumblr and grasping absolutely nothing from them but images i wont remember the second i get back to my study guide. anyway ill cease that rant i need to get to bed

bradbury also does a really good job of utilizing his characters for the narrative. they all have their purpose and analyzing it i felt like this man stayed up all night every night trying to draw lines between factors in his own story. it all feels so real and meaningful. the scene where montags floating down the river feels especially profound against the chaos of the rest of the book

also. i love you captain beatty he was expertly used in the narrative. nobody fucking gets you like i do

i dont really have any complaints honestly. it wasnt like an Amazing book but it was genuinely really good and i can see why its been called a classic. you can really feel the depth of its thought and meaning and how much heart bradbury put into it. great book

[limescars]

Sending someone a hate ask, especially with anon off, is kinda sad but mostly confusing. This isn't intended as hate but genuinely what were you thinking? Is it some kind of clout thing? You seem like an asshole ngl, but still, I hope you're feeling okay.

im not looking for clout on tumblr i didnt know ppl did that

see, telling bigots theyre bigots and then blocking is better for my mental health than letting them reply, but i feel the need to still say SOMETHING to let people know theyre not being okay. even if i cant change their minds im not going to let it go unchallenged if someone says something harmful. and if someone is doomscrolling they might see that and feel better knowing someone is speaking up about it. but im not willing to argue about it so i just block people that arent willing to listen

if i seem like an asshole its because i dont really care about social niceties when it comes to bigotry. if someone is being an asshole i think its a good thing to tell them that instead of coddling them