#dramatic irony enjoyer i think

[raayllum]

The first time they're able to go to the Banther Lodge as a whole family, Ezran is still too little to really play—he's just started to be able to grab things (mostly jelly tarts, or the gold woven into the ends of Harrow's hair) and so Callum spends most of that time stacking blocks for him, much to his delight. 

Harrow can't help but smile, watching his boys interact. Callum has always been a bit shyer and more reserved, he'd worried slightly how he'd respond to having a new brother... one that's his and Sarai's, another shift and change from the father he once knew and lost.

But Callum has taken to it as naturally as anything, caring and doting and patient, eyes alight whenever Ezran giggles and claps his hands, like his little brother is his whole world. 

Most of the blocks are pretty simple, so when Callum hangs onto one and traces the sides, Harrow looks up from watching Sarai snooze peacefully on his shoulder (Ez is still breastfeeding after all) to take note. 

Callum has one of the bigger blocks in his hands, different runes on either side, and Harrow smiles. He forgot all about that family heirloom left behind in the game room. He remembers his father passing it down to him when he'd been fifteen, confused and too old for toys and a little more enchanted when his father had rolled his eyes and explained the old legend behind it.

Sometimes you do not have to understand tradition to uphold it, he'd said.

Debatable, Harrow thinks, watching Callum play it. He's always been an intelligent, thoughtful kid, taking quickly to Sarai teachings of how to read (even if sometimes he gets distracted and doodles in the margins). Curious. 

Harrow hums to himself, smiling when Sarai stirs and catches sight of his face. “What is it?” she rasps, yawning.

Callum traces the Sky rune at the top. 

The cube is a great and powerful secret, his father had said. To something sealed away in Xadia. 

A mystery Callum may enjoy solving one day. 

“Nothing,” Harrow replies. “Just thinking about the future.” Sunlight streams in and makes the Star rune glint like a lantern. He wraps an arm around his wife's shoulders. “And how bright it is.”

[13dps]

are you kidding me... thats such an awesome costume idea double fine ok i know the final maligula outfit is fine too it has a good silhouette and doesnt distract from the face etc. i still want her.

[direwombat]

⛑️

⛑ - Some tender first-aid + some sybjoey! thank you so much for sending this in!

“You’ve gotta stop doing this to yourself, Syb,” Joey says, pulling a curved needle through Sybille’s skin to stitch up a bullet wound in her shoulder.

Sybille is sitting on one of the many mattresses in Jerome’s church while Joey kneels in front of her. A first aid kit rests beside them. She’d been rushed back to Falls End from the fertilizer plant after getting shot and promptly losing consciousness. She’d awoken on the way, bleeding in the back of Grace’s Jeep with her mouth fuzzy from trace amounts of Bliss. And while she had insisted she was fine, neither Grace nor Jess were eager to take their chances. 

“To be fair, this particular bullet wound is Peggie handiwork,” Sybille responds. “Besides, it looks worse than it actually is.”

Joey looks unconvinced. “Y’know, one of these days you’re gonna get shot and that won’t be the case.”

“Well, when that happens, I guess I won’t really have anything left to worry about,” she shrugs. It comes out breezy. Flippant. Her humor stands soundly on the gallows, fully aware of the noose around her neck. 

But Joey isn’t laughing. 

She pauses her sewing to give Sybille a concerned look. A frown tugs at her mouth and her brows knit together, wearing in worry lines she didn’t have the night of the arrest. “Syb…” she says with just the barest hints of exasperation. 

Guilt pangs in Sybille’s gut. Right. They’ve talked about this. The fatalistic jokes they used to indulge in hit a little too close to home now — especially considering just how many times she nearly died and Joey hadn’t been able to do anything to help. 

Sometimes she forgets that although Joey was a soldier, much like her, they aren’t quite fighting the same fight. She’s out in the field, leading the troops and taking fire while Joey is stuck in the med-tent after spending time as a POW. 

Their experiences in this war are very different. 

“Right,” she says. “Sorry.”

Joey shakes her head and resumes stitching her up. “It’s not your fault,” she says, but her mouth twists in a way that suggests she’s holding something back. 

“But?” Sybille prods.

“But nothing, it’s just —” Joey sighs. She looks up at her with massive, shimmering dark brown eyes. “You know I care about you, right? I worry about you. Every time you leave Falls End I wonder if it’s the last time I’ll see you again and —”

Sybille lifts a hand to cradle Joey’s cheek. “Hey,” she says gently. “I will always come back for you, okay?”

“You don’t—”

“Joey, listen to me,” she continues. “I have been tortured, shot, and blown up all before this shit started. There ain’t nothin' the cult can throw at me that I ain’t already lived through. We’ll get through this. John’s dead and I promise you, I will send every last one of that damn family to Hell.” She strokes her thumb over Joey’s cheek. “We’ll be okay,” she says softly. 

Joey’s eyes fall shut, her fingers wrapping around Sybille’s wrist. She nuzzles into her palm and nods. “We’ll be okay,” she repeats. “We’ll be okay.”

If they say it often enough, maybe someday they’ll start to believe it. But for now, they lie, if only because it’s sweeter and more palatable than the bitter truth they’re both agonizingly aware of.

[spif-lol]

Reasons why the simpsons hit and run stream is jerma's best stream

it's ELEVEN HOURS LONG

you get to witness his slow descent into madness as he insists on playing the whole game in one sitting

I can watch it when i replay the game, would recommend makes it way more enjoyable

he spends too much time doing really bad impressions trying to copy voice lines for the game and yelling "HIRE ME IM AVAILABLE"

He decides to confess half an hour in that he knows nothing about the simpsons and has only seen like one or two episodes

this is ten minutes after he references a specific episode, and then proceeds to get told off for 'spoiling' an episode of the simpsons (from like 1995) by chat

Chat also somehow manages to convince him that ten year old boy Bart Simpson's famous catchphrase from everyone's favourite family animated tv show is 'eat ass'

In general it switches between him refusing to believe things people tell him about the game despite being true and falling for obvious lies

he starts the game going 'lol wouldnt it be funny if you could run over simpsons characters' and then jokingly drives towards civillians thinking they'll jump out of the way. they go flying. he is so confused

the dissonance between early and later parts of the stream are palpable. It turns from a cheerful and lighthearted exploration of a funny simpsons game that he refuses to take seriously or accept that it could genuinely make him angry, and transforms into a desperate race against time, his computer and his own hubris as he seeks simply to finish the game so he can sleep. This stream destroys him.

the way the stream highlights are named on his youtube is hilarious. "Jerma will not get angry at the simpson's hit and run" -> "Jerma might get a bit angry at the simpson's hit and run" -> "d'oh"

it's extremely funny how many time he's convinced he's in the last level of the game, only to be wrong. the first time he thinks that is in the first section and hour of the stream

easily his most rewatchable stream (this is gonna cover a lot of dot points)

the amount of tragic irony and foreshadowing in this stream is almost cinematic.

at the very start of the game he complains about the music being too loud and monologues about sounds and over stimulation of game music bothers him, which of course will be very funny in the finale

he also comments a few time at the start about how annoying homer's random voice lines are, and says 'oh god he's gonna repeat that a thousand times before the end of this game'. he's right, and it nearly drives him crazy by the final mission

speaking of the final mission(s), the second time he has to transport the toxic sludge from power plant to the school he like pauses the game and very seriously addresses chat like 'alright tell me right now are the next three levels also me driving the nuclear waste to the school that cant be possible right'. and then just accepting in defeat that that is in fact how this incredibly stupid and difficult children's game finishes

when he first races against the malibu stacy car and gets destroyed he gets mad and says he wishes he could drive that car. then when he gets to drive it in later levels he quickly decides its his favourite and maintains that until the end of the game

on rewatch... you hear him audibly crack open a can that chat demands he prove to them is soft drink and not alcohol like A WHOLE HOUR before The Incident and it's a little like watching a disaster movie where you see the characters laughing and having fun little knowing how they are being hastened towards their own doom... like chat keeps bugging him about it, he keeps making excuses, he keeps sipping the drink. they bring attention to it so much and you listen to it just knowing the pain that is yet to come. dramatic irony at its finest and most heartache inducing

15. ohmyfucking gaaaawd no! no... god... ICANDOITINAJUMP! ..... BART. WHERE IS HE??? BAAART!!!! AAAUUGH

16. actually fr there's a lot of memorable jerma lines in this stream, rewatching it is like watching a jerma funny moment compilation

17. the final couple of levels where he is getting steadily more overwhelmed to the point of ferality, and then he says he has an idea and goes to the sound menu and turns everything off. voice lines. music. sound effects. and then we watch him play the level in complete silence. and it actually helps him focus its really funny

18. the whole tragic sequence where he is in the FINAL LEVEL. he has played it so many times and just missed it by a few seconds. he is tired. he is hungry. he just wants to get off stream and eat a BURGER. he is focussing as hard as he can. he is almost there. he runs over too many things and the police are after him. but its okay. he's doing it! he's gonna make it!!! he gets to the school with time to spare and is sucked up into the end of the game beam. it's over. except then the police get sucked into the beam as well. he gets arrested in the beam. which teleports him and the car out of the beam. WHICH MEANS THE TIMER RUNS OUT AND HE LOSES. so he has to do it all over again. it's actually so so so funny and also something i think i personally wouldn't survive if i was in jerma's position in that moment

19. okay we have to talk about The Incident. bc i already alluded to it and bc like, i couldn't not talk about it. as stated above Jerma cracks open a can so you can hear it and chat immediately accuses him of being an alcoholic. he adamantly insists that it is a soft drink not a beer but they refuse to believe him unless he proves it by showing camera. he's playing on a modded ps2 pc port or whatever of the simpsons so it's a complicated setup and he explains that it would be too hard and also he's shirtless so they will just have to believe without seeing. chat continues to harass him while he goes on to play the game, specifically most of the lisa level. he laughs it off but eventually caves, gets up and get a blanket to cover himself and then alt tabs, holds his can up to the camera and says 'alright you satisfied? that might have just fucked up the game'. so then he tries to tab back into the game and it. crashes. hard. so hard that the game won't actually turn back on. so jerma's cursing and fiddling with the controls and saying its over. then it finally reboots and the game works and he's so relieved and it loads and he realises that he has lost SO MUCH PROGRESS. he's back at the start of the lisa section. this is truly the turning point of the game where it goes from being a fun experience to a nightmare gauntlet

20. on a related note: jerma waiting with bated breath *sound of simpsons game booting back up after refusing to for far too long* jerma: yeeeAAAAAH

21. im watching it right now as i replay, which is why im thinking about it obv. so i will almost certainly have more to add to this

[twochildreninamoteldemo]

what’s on your personal list of “must reads” for wincest? i have a feeling you’ve got good taste

- @spn2006

i wouldn't necessarily say i have a must-read list as in everyone has to read something, because everybody has different taste, especially when it comes to sam and dean's dynamics (both sexual and otherwise), but the fics that i would heartily recommend that fall into my reading of supernatural (or adjacent to it) go as such, keeping in mind that I am a samgirl, pretty much only care about early seasons, and enjoyer of the family horror of the show:

The Ballad of the Invisible Boy + Two Headed Boy by @dollyluxed

If i had to pick any fic as a must-read for a samgirl cestie, this would be the one. the yearning and desperation speak deeply to the isolation of samdean's youth, especially how sam feels it, and dollylux isn't afraid to get inside the beast of teen angst, which makes it feel really lush and visceral. the 90s nostalgia is excellent (disclaimer: i was born after the 90s, but it made me feel like i was there without being corny), and the way the story is told through several vignettes feels a lot like the show itself. these kind of snapshot short films of how samdean's codependency develops through this unspoken tension over the years. the stanford era portion has a scene i think about every time i listen to joni mitchell (check out the soundtrack for this duology too; it's excellent), and the season 1 section ties together the story in a way that fits well with the show. a slow burn, really beautiful story, and i love the illustrations. i would also recommend dollylux's shorter works for amazing smut:)

@applecrumbledore 's fanficography

The first of Roni's fics I read were "Dream fuckery" and "Drywall dust" (the latter the first of a 4-part preseries story), and the balance of angst, sexual tension, and humor blew me away. It keeps the tone of supernatural, which a lot of fics don't (which is fine), but this was super cool in that it felt extremely natural, and very fun to read. I haven't been updated in all my fanfic reading lately, but I loved the beginning of Pine Sweat, their time travel fic, and "try asking," their pov outsider fic, is fucking hilarious and exhilarating. they have lots of creative ideas from preseries to late seasons and it never gets old!

Gospel Truth by @cowboyified

A case fic with an accute sense of shame embedded within angst, a really great sense of description, and perfectly inspired by art by @thegoodthebadandtheart for the reverse bang a couple years ago. the aesthetic of both frauke's work and the fic itself feel real, both the openness of the great plains and the claustrophobia of incestuous pining. definitely a modern classic.

"Buy You a Mockingbird" by candle_beck

the dark pov outsider fic to crown all others. candle_beck is an amazing writer and i also recommend all their work, but this one in particular stands out because of the horror of the dramatic irony of the story--what the reader knows, but the pov character does not. it's incredible to see everything unfold, and a realistic if bleak interpretation of another classic trope (which i won't name for spoiler's sake).

"Other Brothers" by @homo-pink

another incredible pov outsider fic with this beautiful sense of empathy and also a hint of adrenaline thrill. sam's cheeky and sassy and smart, and dean's cute and so in love. pov outsider weecest has the potential to be disturbing or sweet, and while this teeters the line, i think it falls into the latter category in a way that doesn't feel too saccharine.

"Three Days on the Rack" by keerawa, read by Reena Jenkins

I'd highly recommend listening to this via podfic! reena is great and there's a lovely cello cover of fade to black by metallica that plays in the interlude. anyway, the fic is an orpheus and eurydice-adjacent story about sam trying to get dean out of hell--but it's a torture fic. i love the way it describes hell, i love the way we see dean in the depths of alistair's apprenticeship, i love sam's strength. another gorgeously dark gem.

"Skin Like Fear" [orphaned]

I can't speak much on this one because I don't remember it super well, but it's a take on samdean after sam's hell trauma, something not very touched on by the fandom, and the horror is super well done, it's a great fic. obviously dark, deals with rape aftermath, proceed accordingly.

"show me again, shame takes hold" by objectlesson

if you can't tell yet, i really love preseries fics. this one is a lesbian femchesters AU, butch dean i love u foreverrrrrr. as you can tell by the title, more angst, more shame, etc etc. i was catholic what can i say. there's a lot about the ambiguity of sexuality and gender in this fic too.

and that's it! some of my other favorites are "Tomcat," the Caged Desires series, "The Truth in His Bones," and Brothers, but those i wouldn't necessarily rec on a wide basis because the first one is specifically about transmasculinity, and the second 3 deal with dom!dean/sub!sam dynamics in a pretty sharp way that everyone may not sit with right. that being said they're wonderful and sexy (and the last two, rather sad). let me know what u thought of this list!

[tracingpapier]

"hot" takes xoxoxo

hmm... not sure how to word this... but i've been having mixed feelings on idw since the urban warfare arc. i think a big part of it is that i don't care for the dramatic irony of knowing that mimic is infiltrating the restoration. idk. really enjoyed issue 69 though. you know i loooovve sonic riders ♥

i don't want to say that the archie series is "better" (i think we all know about the epic lows that it reached). that being said, i think i miss just how bizarre it allowed itself to be. there's a real campy enjoyment there. obviously the art and stories in idw are all around more consistent and "clean", but it honestly leaves me missing the insanity of the archie era... there's just something that archie sth does for me that idw sth doesn't. idk.

and i'm sorry to the world. dont be mad at me. but i think sonic (the character) in idw needs more edge. more sass. i really like how they handled him in the fang miniseries, i hope they lean into that sort of "classic sonic" characterization more. i don't really care for him giving surge & kit an "anyone can be redeemed" pass despite the obvious their obvious lack of remorse and the threat they pose to the entire city. like from the heroes' perspective something is clearly up with them lol

(i'm also just a drama enjoyer through and through, i'm going to say it. i MISS archie's romance drama and love triangles ok.)

anyways. would love to know what you all think! (keep it CIVIL please i don't want any discourse or flaming of anything on this post ty <3)

(there's no "see results" option. do your part for democracy and vote or move along)

[thatswhatsushesaid]

re: my last reblog i think what has captivated me about that concept is like... not only my tangential familiarity with scum villain and (more substantial familiarity with) erha, which relies on the POV character already coming into the story with an understanding of how the original timeline of events is meant to unfold, but also the dramatic irony of flipping that concept at least partially on its head. because we as enjoyers of theatre already know why both romeo & juliet and hamlet, just to keep the OG post's examples, end in tragedy for all the characters involved. but juliet doesn't know anything about hamlet! lady macbeth has no idea what happens to desdemona! we could play with the dramatic tension and foreshadowing in such fun ways just by relying on pre-existing familiarity with the stories, which makes them that much more fun to twist and reshape. and if we wanted to mash up the genres a bit and go for something a bit more comical, man, what about puck in one of the histories? puck as falstaff? or hotspur!!

idk friends i just think this sounds like good clean and potentially sexyviolent fun

[i-didnt-read-the-b00ks]

Intro post

hiiii! so I have yet to read the Percy Jackson series (cardinal sin I know) and I figured I'd liveblog the TV show for Tumblr's entertainment!!! :D

editing this far sooner than I expected. sighs deeply. apparently my instinct to ramble about cinematography is unable to be contained. thus. tagging system.

"#liveblogging" for, yk, liveblogging,

"#film language rambles" for cinematography and related stuff,

"#reactions" for Reactions,

and "#asks" for answering asks.

Hi. So, first of all, there are going to be spoilers for the books and the show. That should be obvious, but I'm saying it anyway.

Second, and more importantly, this blog is a lie. The Percy Jackson books Formed My Personality. I am a huge fan. It's been a while since I read the books, but I read them enough times that that's probably fine. I did make this blog to entertain, though- the point is to pretend not to have read the books, to create a sense of Dramatic Irony and Sympathetic Horror for all you avid fans reading.

Also, uh, this has accidentally become a bit of a cinematography/film language analysis blog as well. That’s what I get for taking film classes I guess. Sorry about that. (<- not sorry at all) So yeah stay tuned for Extended Rambles. I am cheating slightly because I’ve already watched all the episodes up til the Ares one so I’m Rewatching Them, which allows me a better shot at noticing stuff. We’ll see how it goes after I catch up to myself. I can always just watch the episodes twice, I suppose.

This blog will be somewhat like an in-character/rp/gimmick blog- the persona will be kept up, and just... yk, Be In On The Joke. Standard procedure, you know the drill. I think that's about it? Yeah, enjoy! This blog is as much for my enjoyment as for yours. (I'll be sad if nobody follows, though.) I think that's all? More will be added as necessary. Merry tv-show-ing!

TL;DR: This blog is me writing as if I haven't read the books, for entertainment purposes. It’s basically an in-character/rp/gimmick blog.

[rontra]

I have never played persona so I wasn't sure if I would understand your failteacher comics but I just looked up the characters for a little bit of context and I'm 👀👀👀👀 at it now xD

Without being too spoiler-y, why would you say they'd have a messy relationship? (Besides the fact of Becky taking advantage of her client's loneliness)

HAHAHA yea i think the like dramatic irony enjoyment of knowing (even just roughly) what's going on with becky is very strong so good on you there (obviously toriumi has no idea what's going on with her and becky is doing her best to Handle It, but it contextualizes her behavior for Us...<3)

it's yummy isnt it... its yummy

anyway, the rest of this very long post is just me analyzing a fictional situation i myself engineered, so if that sounds boring please dont click the Read More LMFAO <- cursed to put a lot of thought into Character Stuff

basically they have great potential for mess, which they're Currently keeping a lid on, but would exponentially increase with time. teehee.

as for what WILL happen, im not spoiling anything concrete of course… (winks at the Knowers who already know my Vision….

well, this AU isn't ever going to devolve into a "super destructive toxic nightmare" mess or anything, just to get our working definitions of 'mess' sorted out at the top of the post. not this time. atm (as of comic #3) it's shaping up more like a "this seems . inadvisable and absolutely Don't Try This At Home, but i guess it won't…kill you" mess (LMAO)

to assess their situation at present… there is one half who wants money (and can't ever make enough of it to satisfy her extortionists), and one half who wants intimacy (and is scared and unable to get it on her own). on its exterior face, it's simply a lonely person hiring a professional to keep them company, which is a fairly common thing n not rly super noteworthy; the parentheticals are what make things a bit uh thorny for these characters

the "problem" here is not the transaction itself; they're both willing to supply their half of the trade just fine, and neither party is doing anything wrong by engaging in it. but for these two specifically, there is also a mutual willingness to bend the rules of their transaction—because they're both cornered in some way, and desperate for what the other one is offering to trade

to elaborate on "rules", i mean, first and foremost, that their relationship is not "real"—these people Don't know each other personally and intimately, and they're Not Supposed To. their relationship should never be "real"; they're not friends! (or lovers, for that matter!) they're in a conditional exchange of money for services. right now, these characters are participating in and maintaining a kayfabe; they should operate under a tacit understanding that A) this is not real, B) they both fully know it's not real, and C) following the script is the comfortable way to get what they both want without causing undue risk to either party. creating and then maintaining a fake "reality" together is regulated by a contract between them, and it ends when their booked time ends (and not a minute over time!)

but to return to the earlier point, they're also both cornered and desperate, which drives them both to go beyond what might be considered appropriate. i think this is compelling; it's probably unnecessary of me to add this paragraph but i want to underline (just in case) that i don't think either of them is like "at fault" or w/e (there is no "villain" between them). they're showing Signs Of Mess that could snowball into something much more messy, but it's not something they're doing to hurt each other; they're making decisions based on skewed risk/reward estimations that might not be healthy, and could realistically have harmful consequences for both parties, but they're not, like, Evil (lol). two women getting wrapped up in each other's personal graveyard spirals…it's yuri, isn't it?

with that squared away, and putting it plainly;

toriumi should not be asking her to "break character" when the character itself is what she's paying for; this nudging of their little kayfabe, if indulged, could easily snowball and erode the professional boundaries between them (what she calls "distance" in #3). she is paying 'becky' to 'be here' (paying kawakami to conjure 'becky' into existence by pretending to be her), but she isn't really being mindful of the type of role that this necessarily demands of her in turn. the built-in emotional walls between them are there to protect both of them, but she doesn't fully respect them (despite instinctively sensing their protection in how "safe" becky feels to her). in the end, toriumi is bad at "staying in character" herself, and she can't help but try to root out the actual person behind the mask—despite the fact that no one wants this erosion to happen! possible dire consequences for her wallet aside, losing sight of the line between "transaction" and "investment" (pardon the pun) is a one-way ticket to a very messy place where one or both of them is likely to get hurt...

on the other end, and not helping the situation at all, kawakami identified toriumi as a soft target pretty much immediately, and is actively trying to elicit sympathy and endear herself to her (she is being quite choosy about what vulnerabilities she "lets slip" in #2) in order to make her keep booking and paying. of course some amount of "salesmanship" is part of the job—#grindset always be plugging smash that like button comment n subscribe—but the major difference here is that she's overtly attempting to foster in her client the exact kind of dependency/personal attachment she should be discouraging (for, frankly, both of their safety). like not only is she out fishing to get toriumi hook line and sinker on purpose, but it's also alarmingly reckless behavior on kawakami's part; there's a lack of regard for her own wellbeing involved here on top of it all. again, a messy place where someone, maybe everyone, gets hurt in the end

crucially though, as comic #3 finishes setting up, they're both willing to endure these shenanigans from the other half. at this stage, toriumi does realize that kawakami has her unilaterally wrapped around her finger, and nonetheless agrees that she'll call her again; while kawakami knows very well how this kayfabe is supposed to work, but is indulgent (even rewarding) towards toriumi for her clumsiness. that mutual willingness to keep playing this game would—if the AU continued on these tracks uninterrupted—probably compound until the situation they've made becomes super confusing and unclear for them emotionally...

of course "taking advantage" is sort of a loaded phrase colloquially… but i would say in many ways they are "taking advantage" of each other, yea. the "we both benefit, so it's okay" logic was already vaguely raised as justification in #3; if elaborated a bit with the above in mind, their situation is one where "even if they're both overstepping what is considered appropriate for their arrangement, they've also both decided the benefits outweigh the costs by a wide enough margin to make it worthwhile"

it's got the marks of a sort of symbiotic relationship... their individual motivations for being involved w each other are totally unrelated (cue the "hold on, does. kawakami even like women???" question), but they both feel they benefit enough towards their priority goals to be OK with the other one taking something "less valuable" from them (toriumi even calls out the “sales pitch” becky is doing in #2, but ultimately decides that’s fine because she’s willing to buy). i think each and every moving part here has great capacity to go "too far" and ruin things (perhaps even causing Severe damage in the collapse), but if the situation were to continue in this same rhythm, without that kind of dramatic change, i would say "they're both evaluating the scenario with their own personal goals in mind, and are extracting what they want from one another relatively(?) peacefully(??)". like it might ultimately be a selfish game but they're adults they'll figure it out probably idk its none of my business what they choose to get up to. wouldn't get into that type of shit myself though LOL

women are playing kind of dangerous games with each other but i forgive them because it's interesting to rotate in my mind...<3

another thorn to consider for their future bonding endeavors from here on ofc is that without being "cornered" the way they are, they would not be running this type of "risk math" in the first place. it's hard for either of them to fully back away at this point because they're already cornered in their personal lives; toriumi is incredibly isolated and lonely with a pretty insecure lifestyle even when she's NOT actively sawing through the branch she's sitting on, and kawakami famously MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, NEEDS A LOT OF MONEY RIGHT NOW because she's being extorted by an unrelated third party. looking ahead it does kind of start to look like an ouroboros of "taking advantage of each other" bc it's hard for both of them to leave their individual situations; it's kind of like, if they weren't here with each other they'd be ... well, they'd be here—just with someone else...

they didn't put each other in this jam—it was unrelated personal circumstances and sheer coincidence that pushed them together—but now that they've committed to each other, it's hard to reverse back out, if that makes sense. i think that kind of thing is interesting too, because it makes me want to see them recognize this, connect, and help each other pull out of their Greater individual personal messes. you know? we can make it if we try... just the two of us... 😔

(unfortunately step 1 of that is ofc to make a genuine personal bond that isn't wrapped up in all this for-pay roleplay stuff. drat!)

tl;dr they're both simmering under high pressure and don't try this at home, but they do already have a sort of tacit agreement forming that this level of messy play is OK between them—as long as the rewards continue to outweigh the risks. at the end of the day, it's a delicate balance ultimately hinging on a money-for-services transaction, so if either of them stopped feeling like paying their half was worth it, it would rapidly come apart. i guess it's kinda like the ways you can tell if animals are genuinely beefing or just playing rough—are they willingly coming back? 💀 ...

no lmao where's that post thats like "this would be terrible if it was anyone else, but considering the people involved this is actually the best option" HRBHJDJG that's kind of how it feels. like if they're gonna be stuck with Somebody (and they would be), its probably good luck that they got Each Other. at least the narrative can sustain the balance of this one and maybe even solve it down the line. heart

to round this post off i would say if i had to nominate one of them, kawakami is probably the most "in control" atm—since she figured out very quickly that she was dealing with an easy mark and moved in to make her a regular customer (quite successfully i might add per the end of #3 lmaoo). i think that's been kinda fun, since in her SLink she's immediately on the back foot due to being unmasked by the inciting incident. we know she will lie and attempt to play to the listener's sympathy, so unleashing her with her Mask Still On has been fun 😭 for her part, toriumi is not only taken with the funny maid (& emotionally invested in her IRL situation to boot), but also very clumsily trying to obtain something she's scared to have, which makes her very impulsive/erratic in her rulebreaking compared to kawakami's much more intentional plays...

play of the game 🧹 (<- there's no maid emoji idk its housekeeping)

of course, my future plans will immediately jostle this entire dynamic into something else and make this whole post obsolete, but i don't wanna lay that out ahead of time. smiles.

anyway, otome dissection on the playlist or whatever

[nepenthean-sleep]

griddlehark fic recs, part 4

hello and welcome to part 4 which is locked behind a community label because tumblr sucks. as a general rule i do not recommend smut because one person's sexy can be another person's squick and vice versa. nevertheless: i have some M and E rated fic recs (not all of them are smut, btw). please remember to check the tags before reading a fic.

with that being said: this fandom has some incredible writers and i'm very happy to share the below fics with you guys. tumblr usernames have been added if i could find them (sorry for the notification!). here is part 1, part 2, and part 3.

Flinch M - InverseAlchemist oneshot set after the pool scene in gtn. a beautifully written fic in which gideon and harrow share a bed for warmth (a classic) and harrow spirals a bit about it. there is so much longing.

So Familiar a Gleam E - silverapples short oneshot, harrow nova au featuring kiriona gaia. nova has a dream about kiriona and its just as disconcerting and interesting as you’d think.

turn you inside out (lick you like a crisp packet) E - valancytrinit / @valancietrinit long oneshot, modern au. a first of many wonderful fics from one of the best griddlehark writers in the fandom. gideon and harrow are roommates and gideon has a really bad 48 hours that culminates in a really good morning. this fic is an excellent balance of chaotic and angsty and sweet.

knife to a gunfight E - dryrsheet two chapter modern au. they were roommates! they were roommates sharing a bed! gideon is extremely oblivious in this one and the irony is delicious. also has one of the lines of all time:

“Okay,” Gideon said, “I need you to act like I am actually as stupid as you pretend to think I am and explain why in the fuck you want me to do that.”

hand to heart i swear M - corpsesoldier / @corpsesoldier short oneshot. harrow heals gideon’s stigmata. i very badly want this to be a thing in alecto, but i am happy with this fic version right now. this fic is superb and i love everything about it.

you're still the one pool where i'd happily drown E - valancytrinit / @valancietrinit long post-ntn speculative multi-chapter, completed. i love everything about this fic. i was literally hanging on every word when i read each chapter for the first time. the writing is incredible. there is a shower scene that is legitimately fucking shakespearean. additionally, i absolutely love the way that harrow’s mental health is portrayed in this fic as someone who struggles with similar conditions.

illbringthestrap69420 liked your post E - imalwaysstraight / @nooomagnus long multi-chapter college/uni au, currently unfinished. the enemies to anonymous tumblr mutuals to lovers fic. listen. this fic is an incredible experience for dramatic irony enjoyers. this fic is like dramatic irony: the fic. i love this fic so fucking much. another fic that has kept me on the edge of my seat while reading.

Bid My Blood to Run M - winterkill / @thebrimmingheart short oneshot. another fic where harrow heals gideon’s stigmata! the banter in this fic is wonderful. again, i really hope there's a scene like this in atn.

Let Me Hold It Lightly M - downjune / @itstartledme short oneshot set during htn. a classic ‘harrow sees gideon in her dreams’ situation. very tender and bittersweet.

Wormian E - BonesforTime long oneshot, postcanon au/spec. harrow works through some religious trauma. ok full disclosure: my favorite thing about this fic is the way it’s written. when i first read it, the prose had me completely fucking bewitched. the fic gets more speculative towards the end, and as it was written pre-ntn there’s some pretty big discrepancies with current canon. regardless, the fic itself is extremely well written and compelling.

east of the sun, west of the moon E - zealotarchaeologist short oneshot set during htn. another dream situation, this time featuring harrianthe and harrow/the body. the writing here is exquisite.

let's drink to feelings of temptation not rated - overnights / @televangelists long oneshot, modern bartending au. gideon gets hired at camilla’s bar and harrow is not having it. there’s women who hate each other. there’s customer service shenanigans. there’s ianthe in a grocery store. it’s a very solid modern au.

Mors Vincit Omnia M - WalkingDisaster / @four-for-fidelity long multi-chapter modern au, currently unfinished. a murder mystery where gideon is a witness in an investigation and has to assist forensic scientist harrow. it’s really well written and the mystery is very fun and macabre! it is currently unfinished but i am excited to see where the plot goes.

grab me by my ankles (i've been flying for too long) E - valancytrinit / @valancietrinit long oneshot, college/uni au. harrow is a competitive diver and gideon is a mechanic who ends up carpooling harrow to diving practice. there is a truly astounding amount of dyke drama going on here and it is excellent. the dialogue is incredible as well.

[killldeer]

i think what makes wot 2x05 so uniquely good compared to the rest of the show so far was that it successfully functioned on two different layers at once. you get a completely different but equally enjoyable experience watching it depending on whether you are a books or show fan.

a couple of (books-spoilery!) examples:

if you only watch the show, the cold open with Suroth and Turak posturing around each other is an opportunity to familiarize yourself with the concept of the Blood and how they communicate through their Voices; if you’ve read the books, you also get to see them mess with the concept of sei’mosiev/sei’taer (the “level/lowered eyes” idea of gaining/losing honor within your rank) by watching when they switch from having their Voices speak for them to talking by themselves and vice versa.

if you only watch the show, the scene where Verin and Sheriam converse and the one following it have an almost unbearable amount of dramatic irony as you slowly watch Verin and her fellow Browns slowly discover that the girls are missing and about the existence of the Black Ajah; if you’ve read the books, you are instead treated to a sequence in which two aes sedai who don’t know they’re both in the same Ajah try to delicately keep this fact hidden from the other, while working on personal plans several layers deep, in a weirdly polite fashion that is deeply reminiscent of classic Aes Sedai Politics in the books.

if you only watch the show, hearing new and alien old tongue terms like ji’e’toh, tel’aran’rhiod, and marath’damane are all exciting little things that help you gain a sense of the world and that you have a chance to learn more about later; if you’ve read the books, all of these are indicators that the show is making up tons of ground from season 1 and even getting slightly ahead of schedule, deftly introducing concepts that were originally introduced in books 3 and 4.

tl;dr: this episode did everything i wanted it to and more, while also remaining completely accessible to fans experiencing the world for the first time through the show, in a way i didn’t realize was possible for an adaptation to do. 10/10 I need to watch this one again

[practically-an-x-man]

For Talk Shop Tuesday: Give us the director's cut on your latest piece of writing!

Ooooh sure thing!!

So my latest piece of writing (not counting a new piece I will hopefully have finished tonight...) is Share Your Burdens, the new pre-relationship IndiHux fic I posted just before I did my masterlist redux. Let's get into it!!

Talk Shop Tuesday

Most stepped aside as they noticed him coming, and the only ones that remained were those facing the wrong way or otherwise too distracted to notice. If he were truly in a rush, he might have been sharper with them. But he knew from his conversations with Indigo that mealtimes were often the only break from work they got, and… he could find it within himself to be a bit more lenient, it seemed.

Right off the bat, we do see the way speaking to Indie has started to soften him, just a little. And it's not just their conversation about breaktimes that has him being a little gentler, but Indie's behavior itself - he knows that when she gets really into a conversation, she might not notice the people passing by around her, and it's by no means an intentional or rude gesture, so he learns to ascribe that same benign distraction to the others around him and be a little more lenient with them.

Especially in this stage of their relationship, she really helps him recognize this more grounded perspective, especially since he's never really had that himself - hyper-strict military childhood straight to a commanding position in the First Order, trained (intentionally or not) by his father to see everything as a power play or personal slight, so Indie's gentler perspective is a very good thing for him to experience at this stage in his life.

So many conversations in his life turned to the war, the ship, the cycling of duties, but Indie seemed more inclined to speak about the mundane and hopeful. It was refreshing in a number of ways.

This is part of the reason he even begins to soften to her. She obviously still respects him, but she's not in fear of him the way so many others are, and she doesn't enjoy talking about war. I'd imagine he subconsciously sees most people as instruments of war (again, how he was raised thanks to his father), but he can't do that with Indie because she never gives him an opening. She doesn't talk about war, she doesn't get all squirrelly about being face-to-face with General Hux, she forces his brain to see her as a real living person straight from the beginning and that's enough for him to start breaking down those ingrained biases.

Early-stage Hux is hard to write, honestly. He's an asshole in the movies and I'll fully acknowledge that, but for the fic to work I had to make him at least somewhat likeable, or at least open enough to change that he'll become likeable. And I'm a stickler for characterization. Making him too nice or understanding is definitely OOC, but making him too much of an asshole just isn't fun to read or write. And on top of that, he's got such a rich backstory that we never even see in the movies, and I think his character has a lot of complexity that the movies just end up dropping entirely. But as a writer, I spent the whole time wondering if I was making him too OOC, if the character growth I gave him was realistic at all, if it was too much of a departure from canon to even be enjoyable, etc..

Idk, I'm rambling. I just see so many of his actions as being motivated by his personal history and the way he was raised, less that it's what he inwardly believes and more what he's been trained to believe by his father, and to me that makes him very capable of change and growth as long as he's motivated to work for it. But... not everyone will see that from him, and it makes me worry I've misread things entirely.

Perhaps not implicitly, and perhaps he’d never have the honor of knowing her to that level, but… he could recognize that something was troubling her. That was a start.

Have to say, I love writing these little moments of dramatic irony whenever I write pre-relationship fics that exist after the main fic like this. There's just something about the image of him going "I'll never get to be that close to her :(" while everyone who reads this knows he'll end up literally sacrificing everything for her that makes me absolutely feral. It's such a specific little trope, but I love it.

He wondered if any of those thoughts were appearing on his face. She always seemed so adept at reading him.

What's funny is that if you place this fic in the actual timeline with the rest, this is the stage where Indie still feels like he's impossible to read. I intentionally wanted that bit of dissonance here, where from her perspective he's still inscrutable and from his perspective she can see everything - because Indie's used to reading people automatically and he's hard to read, while Hux has been walled-off and isolated his whole life and even the little flickers Indie gets feel like she's staring right into his soul.

“I mean, I know you excused me from the address as a thank-you for what happened in the elevator, but you got me Zero’s paperwork, and then you made all those scheduling revisions, and the new on-call regulations…

The scheduling revisions and on-call regulations are actually a bit of super deep-cut lore that I never actually put into the fic itself- only a tumblr post. The gist of it is that speaking to her so often made him notice a lot of systemic issues that the other higher-ups didn't even glance at, and he quietly begins to repair them (not even as a romantic gesture to her, just because he recognizes them as problems and seeks to fix them)

“Oh, and- here. Figure you haven’t eaten, given you weren’t at lunch.”

These two in particular have a bit of an ongoing theme of food as a symbol of love. Most of their early bonding and interactions take place around the cafeteria and meeting up for lunch, and after Indie gets long-distance attacked by Palpatine in one of the chapters of B&B, Hux has a whole internal struggle about telling her he loves her... which he then bails on, and Indie's next words are "Did you eat?". Then when they're on Ajan Kloss, the first scene of them openly together is sitting at one of the picnic tables, when Indigo redirects the rotten fruit that gets thrown at Hux. Finally, in the last scene before the epilogue, where Indie is in bed and recovering from surgery, Hux's first words are to urge her to eat something. There are other scenes, of course, but these are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

And of course, we have this here - before he's even begun to admit his feelings about her to himself, he remembers to grab her something to eat because he knows she hasn't.

Oh, and there's a reason for this - Indie grew up food-insecure due to living on Corellia, and Hux's mother canonically worked in the kitchens on Arkanis (which was often his only reprieve from his father). Food has a lot of meaning for both of them, and carries a lot of the emotion they can't always bear to admit.

The second was that, for once in his life, he was positive that he was doing the right thing.

This right here is my favorite line in the fic. I don't even have much else to say about it, I feel like the line itself lays it out pretty clearly, but I think it shows so much of Hux's character in such a succinct little package. He's an innately troubled person, constantly pushing himself beyond what he can reasonably take, so having a decision that he feels truly, one hundred percent confident in (and having it be a selfless decision at that) is a really impactful thing for him.

“He’s anxious but very well-trained. Resolve this quickly and there should be no issues. And… assess his nutrition and give him a full dietary panel. He seems thin.”

I'm not sure how much this really comes across in the fic and how much is just in my own head, but... Hux projects himself onto Zero. That line about him seeming thin was meant to be the biggest hint towards that, since in canon Hux's father would criticize him about being "thin as a slip of paper and just as useless" (that line is also the inspiration for Indie's recycled paper mural on the wall of her quarters, which we see in B&B).

Hux sees this thin, anxious creature that is incredibly devout to Indigo, and while he doesn't recognize it on any conscious level, he sees a bit of himself reflected there. That same subconscious reflection is what drives him to take care of Zero for her (a way of making up for all the care he didn't have as a child), and why he chooses to pay for the nutrition panel even though Zero doesn't strictly need it.

“He’s also ordered a weekly nutrition panel. Apparently Zero’s a bit malnourished. I’ll come to collect him next week, same time, for the next treatment.”

He lies about ordering the panel for Zero because he knows Indigo would protest if she knew it was coming out of his pocket. She's already on the fence, even when she believes it's all the Order's resources, so he just... lets her keep believing it's the Order's resources instead of tipping the scales.

I know I said before that it's tough to write Hux especially in the early stages, but this was one of the few details that came easily to me. It blends his cleverness and cunning with those first little glimmers of him softening for her, and to me just really feels like something he'd do. I don't know how to describe it, but I do know that this moment was locked in from the moment I started writing this fic.

“Hm. She’s pretty, for a rescue. I thought for sure she was a purebred, like from a breeder and all.”

I'm sure there are a lot of people who would choose to make Millicent a purebred, breeder-bought animal, probably as an echo of how strict Hux is about how he wants things in his life. He likes things in line, in order, with that perfect facade of professionalism, so that would even influence his pets.

But I went a different direction: like I said before with him and Zero, I think he subconsciously projects himself onto the animals. He sees them as these lost, fragile things, like the young boy he was growing up on Arkanis, and he bonds to them. Millicent being a rescue is almost symbolic to me - not just because he and Indie are both "rescues" of their own right, but because it's another thing in his life that isn't quite what it appears to be. She's a beautiful animal and most people who see her would assume that she's a legacy breed that he paid a lot of money for, just because that's what they view General Hux to be like, when in reality she was an impromptu rescue from a random shelter, adopted not for appearance but for companionship and temperament.

[interstate35south]

silly little essay on the new story mode

literally do not post on here ever but the new dislyte story mode just. i have thoughts and the public shall hear them

lemme preface by saying: i thought it was MOSTLY good. like the majority of it to me was well done and enjoyable, it’s the end that gets me, partially bc What the Fuck but also bc it exemplifies a larger issue i’ve noticed w the stories

suffice to say, unknown collection spoilers from here to “and so anyways”

ok. ok. i see the rationale in the whole twist villain thing HEAR ME OUT

if i had JUST started playing and this was my first exposure to gaius’ character then yeah! its a fun concept, who doesn’t love a good betrayal yk!! but it’s just SO poorly executed it kills me. like it was truly a retcon, the character built up by static shock and the bounties does not at all match the character in unknown collection. perhaps i’d be less appalled by this had they built this up/left hints as they developed him, but they DIDNT. “but that’s what makes him a good twist villain!” he had the potential to be a BETTER twist villain if it became obvious to the players before the characters (dramatic irony my love). furthermore, they didn’t exploit the plausible motivation gaius had (hannah) and instead opted to just steer him in an entirely new direction. there’s mentions of a wish, but they’re not expanded AT ALL. ok hawkmoth go off

and this is all to say, i do not think he should’ve been the twist villain! in fact, i don’t even think hyde should’ve been (wouldn’t be much of a surprise)

this is a half baked thought but i think a much better twist villain would’ve been fu shi. THERE’S a guy w a consistent motivation, but the player actually SEES him sink further and further into depravity to achieve it, like he goes from what, stealing research to human experimentation. i feel like extinction wouldn’t have been that much of a leap

AND SO ANYWAYS

this brings me to the larger issue: continuity. it’s notoriously inconsistent. i fear that they’re not going to extend this storyline going forward in any way it deserves, and that’s disappointing to say the least! a lot of story events open such interesting doors lore-wise but then hang them out to dry. a bunch of the event stories aren’t fully resolved within themselves, and sometimes, in cases like lone star or bloody hunt, it works out fine. but in others, like sea and song, it creates this huge problem and just leaves it hanging there (what is going on w anna guys). i have no eloquent way of saying how come 90% of events aren’t really ever narratively significant again meanwhile there’s FOUR successive accro/bremis events. guys. it leads to a lot of missed opportunity plot wise, and it just kinda saddens me a bit.

all that said, on a positive note, i enjoyed all the cameos!! i loved MC and sachiko’s friendship and idk if i’m just easily entertained but the “gamble for your life” trope being applied to pictionary was so funny to me

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

i watched iasip. once again, thank you for the long post. you really sold me on it, and i'm glad you did. i don't have anyone to share my thoughts to, so i thought i'd come back here.

(just for the record, i watched from season 5-16, because i struggle to get into shows if they start off slow. after i write this, i'm going to go back and watch season 1-4)

my first thoughts were, i'm surprised how much of the soundtrack i know. the background music and intro go so hard, don't get me wrong, but i was shocked how much of it i've already heard from youtube videos and stuff.

my seconds thoughts were. woah i hate everyone yet i care for them?? now that is good writing. but also i've never gasped or said "oh no" aloud so much while watching a show. again, good writing.

surprisingly, several of the episodes like, hit me hard and got me genuinely feeling like shit. cough the suburban house episode cough.

i was also surprised at the out right gayness. normally from these types of sitcoms, i've grown to accept the odd gay joke and gay-coded characters. but a canonically gay character that's sexuality is brought up often and isn't just stereotypes ontop of stereotypes? that (sadly) really shocked me.

i also found myself able to predict the way the episodes were gonna go, not for all of them but for quite a few. my brain would just assume the worst, and then it would happen. which, i think added to the atmosphere if anything. the dramatic irony and the dread i would feel as the episode progressed really just hooked me. i knew it was all going to shit, i hated it was all going to shit, but i couldn't stop watching.

overall, a very enjoyable show. i think i might like it a little less when i watch the earlier 4 seasons, because i'm assuming it'll be physically painful to watch. but again, thank you! you've created an iasip fan!

I'm really glad you liked it! thanks for the update bro 👍 (and are you saying you literally watched the entirety of seasons 5-16? if so that was SPEEDY as hell dude that's awesome)

and yep! a lot of the soundtrack, including the title sequence song, are just from an unlicensed free music library online lmfao, so a lot of youtubers and stuff use it when they need music that won't get them demonetized for improper copyrighting etc. this is because they started the show with such a small budget lmao, and they decided to just stick with it. it's a funny bit tbh. here's the pieces they use for score if you were wondering, I listen to them a lot lmfao it's genuinely good music (coming from a music major who listens to instrumental orchestral shit a lot lmao)

and YES it's so awesome how terrible the characters are as people, yet you're still captivated by them and genuinely care about them. that's storytelling baybee!!! some people don't really vibe with that aspect of the show and it puts them off so I’m glad you liked it.

the suburbs episode LMAO that one's a classic. something I had a bit of trouble with at the beginning was being able to separate myself from the characters and just appreciate the comedy and story from an objective standpoint. I just really tend to put myself in the characters' positions or immediately find any way I can to empathize with the scenario. but this show becomes so painful to watch if you try to do that the whole time, so learning to take myself out of the story and just really not take any of it seriously at all has been interesting to say the least. this isn't to say you shouldn't have emotional responses to the show or connect with the characters, not at all, just that I had to learn to really not take the jokes and scenarios seriously. I hope that somewhat made sense

and yes!!! canon gay representation!!! even though rob mcelhenney (guy who plays mac) isn't gay, his mom is gay and he has two gay brothers, so he has been surrounded by the queer community his entire life. he's one of the few straight men who I think are truly qualified to play a gay character, and he does it very respectfully and mindfully, while not compromising the spirit and humor of the show itself. I really respect him for that, and it's one of the things that makes this show really special to me.

(p.s. idk if you've seen mythic quest? that's another one with great gay rep. I think I remember you mentioning you'd seen it but I thought I’d put that in here just in case you haven’t)

you saying that you would predict what was going to happen next because you just thought "what's the worst way this could go," and then it did indeed follow that worst case scenario, made me laugh lmao. I have a similar experience watching. it's exactly like you said: you know it's going to shit, you hate that it's going to shit, but you just can't stop watching regardless.

and, I don't know if you’ve already watched seasons 1-4 by the time I post this, but they're really not bad at all. in fact, seasons 2 and 4 are in my top 6 seasons of the show overall, and the season 4 finale is one of the most iconic episodes in the entire series. I just meant that season 5 is a good place to start because it immediately gets going, it makes sense without too much context, and it's a good way to gauge whether you'd be into the rest of it or not. but that's awesome that you just immediately watched all the way to the present.

anyway! yippee!!! welcome to the club! I’m a pretty new fan too tbh I started watching this august, but I’m really glad I was able to recommend you something that I love, and that you really enjoy as well. lmk what you think of seasons 1-4 or if you ever want to talk more about the show, as you can see I am always down to yap about my favorite sitcoms lmao (sorry about the unnecessarily long response) happy honda days 💯

p.s. here's a picture of the sunny cast at la pride :)

[period-dramallama]

Review: Katherine by Anya Seton

I know I know I said I would have time at the end of last year, but then I got bitten by a plot bunny and after that I had my annual New Year holiday at my mum’s, AND THEN I got bitten by another plot bunny…

TLDR: an enjoyable read, but my high expectations were disappointed.

The plot

At times the novel was very slow, but it felt slice-of-life looking at different aspects of the 14th century: the plague, jousts, pilgrimage, murder, the Peasant’s Revolt. The title ‘Katherine’ is rather misleading because the world around her is much more interesting than she is, frankly. And while the pace is slow, the murder of [SPOILER] is a good source of dramatic irony: waiting for the characters to find out the terrible secret.

You can see the seeds of the dynastic dispute that will become the Wars of the Roses: Mortimer thinking that his descendants by Philippa will get the throne sooner than John’s descendants. Cob’s subplot with Katherine was good.

Also good on Anya for not lazily confusing her history and remembering that the young Hotspur of Shakespeare is not the same as the historical dude, who was much older than Harry of Monmouth. It was good to see Hotspur, although I think his fame from Shakespeare is probably the reason he’s in the book. At times the book is like a who’s who of 14th century England: Katherine meets Julian of Norwich. It’s also fun to see Chaucer and the references to his work and historical people influencing his writing. I liked his perspective on the Peasants’ Revolt: he’s hidden in his rooms, passing the time with his stories, so he comes out to see the destruction like that gif of the man who enters the burning living room with pizza.

Gaunt confronts the archbishop at St Paul’s and it’s a great set piece.

More Wycliffe and John of Gaunt, please! I loved seeing John of Gaunt use Wycliffe for his own political ends. “John was truly devout in a hearty male way… he believed as his father and mother had believed, so Wyclif had ended by horrifying him.”

Whoever wrote that placard calling Gaunt a Flemish changeling…truly the winner of the Darwin Award. My guy, at least disguise your handwriting.

I did get a sense of the importance of religion to medieval people, which was good:

“What then was certain? What was there that would not shift and veer at the mercy of the winds of feeling?”

“Sanctity, the clergy said. Prayer. The practice of religion. The benevolence of the holy saints. The Grace of God.”

“He had not pointed out that the devil’s hand with the five fingers of lechery gripped a man by the lions, to throw him into the furnace of Hell.”

The action scenes, for want of a better phrase, are also well-written: “But on the second course he shattered the boy’s spear and, though his own lance point was broken off by the shock, he swerved Morel and, coolly slanting the butt of his lance into the boy’s armpit- beneath the breastplate, lifted him from his saddle and deposited him on the ground.”

The writing

“During the time of terror and hideous death there had been no dignity of mourning, and now in the honours done the Duchess they could weep quietly for their own dead, too.”

The plague sequence was well written: atmospheric, full of doom and dread.

Sometimes the writing was….IMHO, bordering on the silly. “Lay bathed in a moony light” “the blue Percy lions on their surcoats jigged in and out with their fierce breathings.” Anya, baby, don’t write under the influence. It’s not a good idea.

The medieval songs were a welcome inclusion that made the world feel more real.

There are some good turns of phrase in this book: “He’s swollen with pride and no doubt March has been puffing it with the hot air of promises.”

“Bloodshed-“ the friar smiled faintly. “Blood is all you knights understand.”

“There’s still the bishops! May the devil’s pitchforks prick their fat rumps until they’ve bled out all the gold!”

“like released bowstrings, the two hundred diners jumped to their feet and waited.”

Anya writes crowds and the mood of crowds well, she is good at depicting mass hysteria and mob mentality. “Already a dozen heads had rolled into the central gutter, which ran crimson. Vultures and kites perched high above on the house gables, watching as intently as the crowd did.”

There are some lovely expressions of emotion. “Humility struck Katherine, even shame that she had dared to expect love from such a man as this.” “Am I then nothing of myself? She thought with anguish. Can I not live apart from memories of him”

There’s humorous moments too. “The excited fishmonger had just caught sight of Katherine standing like a church statue beyond his angry wife.” “She held out a fat dimpled hand so loaded with diamonds that Katherine, as she curtsied, could scarce find space to kiss.” “There he may cool his ardours by taming the Scots, who are rampaging as usual. God bless them.” “They were recounting with relish the horrors of the revolt in London two months ago, while a Norfolk man insisted that they had had a worse time of it up here than any Londoner could know.” “Five children stood by a thatched stable which enclosed crudely painted homemade figures of the nativity, and loudly disputed whether the Baby were smiling or not.”

The characters

Take a shot every time Katherine’s beauty is mentioned or described. You will pass out.  There are fewer references to her beauty as the book goes on.

“She had beauty still, the thinness of her flesh but exposed the grace of her bones and sinews.”

…mostly fewer references.

“He reached out his finger to touch the white streaks at her temples. “Age on you has but added swan’s wings to your fairness,” he said wryly, “while I’m grizzled and hacked like an old badger.”

I said FEWER references, not none.

“They stared at each other in a struggle that racked them both, and she clung to the sudden enmity between them as a shield.” “They stood looking at each other, breathing as though they raced with time.”

The chemistry between John and Katherine has promise, but the development of the attraction is pretty thin. There is attraction between them but at almost halfway through the book, I still didn’t get what Katherine’s appeal was to him, apart from her beauty. She’s the main character, yet I didn’t get a sense of a personality. Philippa ‘Pica’ Chaucer might be brash and grating to the people around her, but at least I could describe her to you. What’s Katherine’s personality? Um…she’s beautiful? She’s a controlling parent to Blanchette? She’s a loyal friend to Blanche? And….um…yeah.

John goes from desiring Katherine to suddenly saying he loves her: it’s a very abrupt change in his feelings.

“Inclination and good taste” prevent Katherine from interfering in politics. It’s “men’s business” and she’s framed as better than that meddling realm-ruiner Alice Perrers (boo!hiss!)

It might seem hypocritical of me to criticise Katherine being apolitical- didn’t I just say I wanted Katherine to have more personality and now she has a definable personality trait I’m criticising it for not being the personality I wanted?

But I do think it’s a missed opportunity. Yes, I’m biased, I like scheming women, but I really do think it would be a more interesting book if Katherine paid attention to John of Gaunt’s activities, maybe even advised him. It would serve as a window into John of Gaunt, who he is, what drives him. There’s nothing wrong with wanting the quiet life but it does make Katherine rather passive. Dozens and dozens of pages go by without Katherine and the duke interacting. Their reunion at the end is lovely, but it would be even better if their relationship was well-developed. “This castle was his, the bread she ate, the clothes she wore came from his bounty. Like the hundreds in his retinue, like his children, like this young squire who stood waiting respectfully before her, she had no course but submission.” I like the realism of this passage, but again, it does feel like a missed opportunity to get closer to John of Gaunt’s inner workings. There is a scene where John confides in Katherine by her coaxing, and it’s a pleasant scene, but it’s all the more frustrating because it’s the only time. “His need for her deepened, he talked to her more freely about all his concerns, and he kept her with him constantly, showing her many public as well as private signs of his love.”

That’s the good stuff! I don’t want that information in passing, I want to see it happen! That’s what I want to read! Not Reminder no. 312 that Katherine Is Beautiful!

(Maybe this is a sign that I should be reading a novel about Alice Perrers instead. Or writing one? Eyes emoji.)

“But by night, sometimes she was with him in dreams. In these dreams there was love between them, tenderness greater than there had really been. She awoke from these with her body throbbing and a sense of agonising loss.” I was struck by the nuance and the pessimism of this passage. It was a different kind of love story than I had expected from a ‘classic romance’.

“She was no longer simply ‘Katherine’ she must adjust again to the various labels that the world would give her, and the demands fair and unfair that it would make.”

That’s great but I still don’t know who Katherine IS beneath all these labels!!

I did like this moment with Katherine during the Peasants’ Revolt. Anya astutely summarised some historical truths: she gets it right where Margaret Mitchell got it wrong:

“A good manor lord cares for his serfs,” she continued. “He gives them ale feasts and alms. In time of trouble he protects them, feeds them, and he administers justice for them that they have not the understanding to do for themselves. They’re like his children.”

The friar gave his rare chuckle. “You voice the arguments for slavery that are old as Babylon and have satisfied many. There are however others who prefer freedom to any benefits – I don’t know,” he added half to himself, “what is God’s law.”  

I was not expecting Katherine to imprison her daughter for disobedience, especially as the real Blanchette seems to have died younger.

(However, espousing the views of the time is still not a personality.)

“Katherine, who was always just, stroked the dark curls.” Always just??? Anya?? My sister in Christ, she bullied Blanchette into marriage, that’s not just!!

Anya definitely has Opinions about gender roles. Katherine’s femininity is Good and Modest and Natural, Richard’s femininity is Sinister and Unnatural.

“Ay, there was perversion of all sorts dwelling behind those tinted beardless cheeks, the gold-powdered curls, the tall slender body that bore itself so haughtily in violet brocade which gave forth a wave of scent as he passed.”

“Next came a giggling, mincing group of young men in skintight hose that showed their thighs, and more, and who wore velvet shoes with points half a yard long – Richard’s contemporaries and cronies.”

Why is literally everyone in this novel more interesting than Katherine? This novel is like a bagel: a hearty ring, but the centre is a hole, a void.

[quietbluejay]

Unremembered Empire 6

WOOOOO POWER OF FRIENDSHIP SOMETIMES IT DOES MAKE THINGS BETTER INSTEAD OF WORSE

ouo

the story really is about trust huh

these two are such…i dunno hey remember the other immortal dude well he's back

the perpetuals are also in their own comedy

and now, the weather forecast for sotha is looking like a clear day- Guilliman watches sunrise on Sotha and dreams of being a farmer

heh, but also WHAT ABOUT MONARCHIA HUH i still think it's ooc for the ultramarines they would have done the most efficient and well run war crime not whatever that mess was okay so John Grammaticus is gonna try and cure Vulkan hey remember the chuuni aeldariboo dude

in all ways he is edgelord chuuni okay time for Guilliman and Lion to try and use the Pharos to cross back to Maccrage it doesn't work lol it runs on wishes and dreams wipes away a tear this is beautiful

awwww

so i guess they became besties offscreen??? somehow?? i am disappoint whyy is the climax of this book a duel between vulkan and curze john grammaticus succeeded in stabbing vulkan yay curze team rocket blasted off again

oh now Sanguinius has shown up

laugh sob i quietbluejay am a dramatic irony enjoyer

wow so they're gonna make Sanguinius the regent

title drop! but huh guess he changed his mind or something because that was a minor plot point in Godblight like the whole reason he had the library shut up because of the records anyways done ynnari book next time i don't think it was a bad book but it wasn't a great one either? it was enjoyable! also it was nice to dig into guilliman i really feel like Guilliman would have been 100% on board with Lorgar's worship dad thing if lorgar hadn't used the word "god" lorgar: our father is worthy of veneration, powerful and wise beyond anything human guilliman: absolutely, 100% (Sanguinius and Vulkan, also from what I've seen of their POV) i think it's a bit disappointing that we didn't get more of polux and dantioch in the book about trust and secrets and that the climax was the curze/vulkan fight which was man neither character showed up IN The book until past the halfway point i think?