#dying to a sword through the heart or something similar is probably the next best thing

[a-world-in-grey]

Sola&Nox verse: please tell me about their combined Retinues and how weird it is and what where people's reactions to when they finally noticed this fact

*grins* the combined Retinue!

So it starts out with Nox and Sola worrying about each other. Nox worries about Sola because Sola is very much like Cor in leaping at problems sword-first and doesn't always stop to consider that she might be biting off more than she can chew. And it's not like Sola's going to stop. If anything Sola only gets worse as she gets older, as she accrues more and more skill and experience and gains more freedom to encounter Bigger Problems. If Sola had strong magic, Nox might worry less (Axis: liar) because in this au Sola and Nox aren't in the Glaive and as such don't usually leave Insomnia and there's less dangerous things for Sola to Throw Hands with in the Crown City. But Sola doesn't have strong magic, for all that she's been training with her magic ever since meeting Nox in Dissidia, will never have the reserves of her male relatives. And Nox worries that Sola will burn through her magic reserves and won't have enough magic left to keep herself from dying if she gets seriously injured.

Meanwhile, Sola worries about Nox not taking care of himself. But she's a Sword, she doesn't do well trying to solve problems she can't literally or verbally stab. Axis and Cindy do their best, and Sola will be the first to admit that Axis and Cindy do a lot for her twin. But none of them are Hands, and with the way Nox still mourns his first Retinue she doubts Nox will ever bond with another Hand. That Nox bonded with a second Shield and Heart is nothing short of a miracle. Sola can't do much to mother-hen Nox into taking care of himself beyond setting Abyssus on Nox, because Abyssus will absolutely remind Nox to eat - loudly - if it means he can beg food off the kitchens as well. Axis finds it hilarious that a cat is better at getting Nox and Ardyn to eat regular meals than two Shields and all the alarms on their phones. At least, when Axis isn't despairing over that same fact. But Sola can help Nox manage his pain, when she can out-stubborn him into letting her, that is.

@secret-engima has already covered how Nox bonded with Axis, and later Cindy, and that won't change. Sola bonds with Copia Egestas after Sola starts learning from Ardyn the art of politics so she can verbally shred certain Councilors and nobles and convince them to better their behavior or else. (The court thought Sola's smile was terrifying. Then Uncle Ardyn showed up and now Sola's smile is so much worse.) Sola and Copia met when Sola started networking with the Council Heirs. Copia decided to leverage that connection in hopes of being named the next Lord of Finance after her father. Sola knew this, but she was fine with that because Copia is really quite brilliant with both numbers and politics and knows the Lucian court in a way that Ardyn doesn't yet. And Copia is more than willing to assist and advise Sola in navigating the sormr pit. During late-night planning sessions they quickly discover that they share similar senses of humor, and they become friends, and some point before Nox and Sola's Coming of Age Copia decides she'd rather be Sola's Hand than the next Lord of Finance.

Ravus and Sola bond... both very quickly and not really? Like, I'd have to go back through the stuff written about how Ardyn gets the royal family out of Tenebrae and to Lucis, but Ravus doesn't have years of Niflheim conditioning him to hate the Lucis Caelums. He's also fiercely devoted to his little sister, which is something Sola immediately vibes with. And at this point, Ravus is angry and itching to fight for his family and home, and Sola's more than willing to enable him on that. So she drags Ravus to a sparring room, runs him through his paces, then promptly takes him on as an apprentice like Cor did her because sure, Ravus probably isn't completely inexperienced with a blade but he didn't spend the last five years apprenticed to Cor the Immortal. Sola's reasoning for training Ravus personally before she helps him enlist in the Kingsglaive is that Ravus wants to protect his little sister like how Sola wants to protect her little brothers, which of course means that Ravus wants to be the best he can possibly be in order to accomplish that. And the glaives are good, don't get Sola wrong, but it's a very different fighting style, and Ravus does need some serious training before he'd survive boot camp. Which means Sola gets to train Ravus into the ground first. Ravus might have found it insulting, being apprenticed to someone a year his junior, but Sola really is that good, and she never makes him feel inferior. Oh, she's as harsh a taskmaster as Cor, but she's also training Gladio at the same time as Ravus and she pushes Ravus just as hard as she does Gladio. Harder, in some cases - Ravus is sixteen going on seventeen, but Gladio is only eleven going on twelve, even if Gladio is in better physical shape, so Ravus is held to different standards. Sola also teaches Ravus how to wield magic - with her borrowed magic - because Ravus is aiming for the Kingsglaive and Sola doesn't do anything half-cocked. Once Sola deems Ravus good enough, she presents Ravus with his own weapon - as Cor did with her - as a 'graduation gift' of sorts, then kicks him over to the Kingsglaive. That cements the underlying trust and friendship necessary for when they bond later.

They don't bond until years later. Ravus is busy in the glaive, Sola is busy forcing the Lucian court into looking beyond their own personal concerns - like properly supporting the glaives as their main military branch, supporting the refugees and other non-upper class citizenry, etc - and being the main trainer for Noctis, Ignis, Gladio, and later Prompto. She also makes a convincing case to train Luna and Sylva in combat, because them being able to defend themselves shouldn't be an afterthought. But Sola and Ravus still hang out when Ravus is in Insomnia, still spar and vent their frustrations to each other because both of them are Swords and prefer to tackle problems in similar ways.

It's Ravus, who informs Sola of the prophesized fate of the Chosen King and his Oracle. Sola is about as happy about that as Ravus is, and their mutual desire to prevent the deaths of their younger siblings is what spurs them to finally bond.

Nox and Sola get on well enough with the other's Retinue. Sola will never accept a Shield, not after years of the Council insisting on it, but she trusts Axis to guard her back, trusts him to keep her grounded like he does for Nox. Axis will never be her Shield, but Axis doesn't mind acting in that capacity for the Princess on those rare occasions. She's easier to ground than Nox, in some ways - usually Axis can direct one of his own damn kids to go sit on Auntie Sola and Sola's successfully tethered to one spot for as long as his kids demand her attention. Or he can order Abyssus to sit on Sola. Axis and Sola trust each other as fellow members of Nox's Retinue.

Cindy and Sola, when they meet, become fast friends as Cindy introduces Sola to the wonders of mechanics. Cid laughs when Cor and Regis call him to complain about Cindy and Sola building Sola a motorcycle. Cindy's also got a refreshing no-nonsense attitude and is the one to exasperatedly tell Sola to finally do something about her crush on Libertus.

Nox will never accept another Hand after Ignis. But he trusts Copia to advise and guide Sola, and trusts Copia enough to accept the blonde woman's advice on occasion. Copia will never be Nox's Hand, he has no interest in the court, not even as a battlefield to conquer like Sola. But Copia will never let one of her fellow Retinue to their Queen enter a battlefield unprepared, and so she will ensure Nox is prepared for court when he is required to make an appearance. (And if she makes Nox godsfather to her little Mira? Well, a godsfather needs to set a good example, and there's nothing like handing Nox his sleeping godsdaughter to get him to sit down for an hour or two and rest.)

Nox is... understandably hesitant to get to know Ravus, when he has such stark memories of his Ravus. It's really only once Sola and Ravus bond, that Ravus and Sola join Nox in his crusade to ensure his younger counterpart gets the future he never got to have, that he and Ravus develop anything approaching a friendship. It's a quiet friendship - Ravus and Nox love Sola dearly, but she is not quiet.

Nox and Sola bond sometime before their Coming of Age. It starts as Nox wanting Sola to have access to a second, deeper reserve of magic so she never is unable to heal herself, and as Sola wanting Nox to have her healing capability to cut down on most of his chronic pain. Oh, it won't stop the pain completely, but the healing factor will cut down on the irritation and inflammation that builds up. Two Lucis Caelums have never bonded to each other before, but honestly neither expect anything unusual to come of it, even as their bond grows tighter and closer over the years, until it's sometimes difficult to tell where gold magic ends and blue begins, the two are so enmeshed.

It's Cindy, ironically, who notices the change to her magic first. She's working on a project when her tool slips. Now, Cindy's no strangers to bruises and the occasional cut or burn, and every once in a while there'll be an injury that requires more than what the first aid kit can handle. And sure, the little injuries here and there haven't been as noticeable, but Cindy's pretty darn sure the gash on her hand should require stitches and yet the bleeding has already stopped by the time she's put the towel used to stem the blood down and washed off the blood and grime for a better look. Ain't that interestin'.

Turns out, Cindy's not the only one whose magic got an upgrade. Axis also has access to Sola's healing factor now, and Copia's magic has abruptly deepened and gained blue accents to the normally pure gold. Best theory is that because Nox and Sola have entwined their souls so tightly, their magic has essentially 'bled over' into their own bonds. Nox and Sola haven't bonded to the others, the magic still comes solely from their respective monarchs.

As there doesn't seem to be any negative side effects to this new and unexpected development, Sola and Nox basically shrug and roll with it.

[spacedustmantis]

if we're being realistic, being ripped apart by a horde of zombies has to be the most gruesome, most painful death of them all

[kameliabronx]

a little about Nerdanel

Nerdanel is a woman but at the same time one of the best in her field, a craftswoman in stone and metal processing, this is probably what interested Feanor in her, after all, the first impression plays an important role. It all started simply: with conversations about various types of metal and stones, with the exchange of experience in stone processing, in the end, with joint trips for materials.

Nerdanel has a sharp mind and a big heart, she won't go into her pocket for a word, and this is strangely attractive. She has an indomitable will and a stubborn character, it is more expensive to argue with her, even for someone like Feanor, then their uncompromising sideways but so far it only spurs. Especially when during a conversation she often crosses her arms over her chest or rests on her sides, sticking out her hip and looking straight into her eyes, fearlessly and absolutely confidently. It is even difficult to say whose look was passed on to the sons: Feanor or Nerdanel. Nerdanel has strong arms, shoulders and back: after all, she works with heavy tools for many hours. This view is fascinating, Feanor likes to watch her from the side while she works. The sparks from the fire are so beautifully reflected in her gray-green eyes and red hair. Nerdanel has little dark skin like her father and freckles and moles all over her body. Everyone sincerely thinks they are very cute, and Nerdanel is shy of them for a very long time, even trying to cover up like young ladies from the more noble families. But then Feanor happens. They generally both make each other better. Everyone notices that Feanor became calmer and more reasonable after the wedding, and if he spoke in a hurry, then the next day he behaves more deliberately. The whole family is very grateful to Nerdanel. It's bad to choose favorites, but Nerdanel loved Karantir most of all, he was similar to her in skin color and freckles. And she also loved the calm like lake water Maglor. But all her children pleased her heart. But it was broken during the Exile of the Noldor. She asked and demanded that Feanor come to his senses, to leave at least one son, because they would die! But who would listen to her at this moment when emotions are blurring eyes. Nerdanel often wondered what she could have done at that moment. After the Exile of the Noldor she often went to visit Anaire - her husband and children also left, albeit peacefully. I went to the ill-fated Alqualonde to Earwen, visited Indis. Nerdanel is so used to the noise and din of the house that she can no longer be alone. She drowns herself in work, creating work after work. When news of her husband's death and the death of her children reaches her, it's as if something is gradually dying in her, but she keeps herself in hand: nothing, eternity is nothing for an elf, she will wait. Most of all, Nerdanel loves to create sculptures: to watch how something almost alive turns out from a piece of stone, as if it is about to come off the pedestal. She also creates a lot of jewelry - most of them are in the Arafinwe collection, they are good friends. Nerdanel used to forge weapons, very good ones, one of Feanor's swords is her work. But after the Exile of the Noldor , it disgusts her, brings back bad memories, from which she wants to go drown herself. After the death of her family, she creates a series of works: sculptures of her children and her husband. She thinks it's the best thing she's ever done in her life. Nerdanel herself is quite good with a sword, shoots a little with an arrow. Not a warrior, of course, but she can protect herself. And for some reason her style is not similar to the style of noble warriors, more like a wild style of battle far from Valinor Avari.  She fights more instinctively. This is what Mahtan taught her who went through the Great March.

[magical-girl-coral]

 Birthday Surprises

Nanao Ise has found a new low for herself. It was eight in the morning, the sun was barely rising, and she was already on her fourth cup of Sake. And from how she was feeling, she wasn’t going to stop any time soon.

It all started when she and her friends decided to do something nice for Rangiku. For the last few months, she had been oddly active, taking fewer naps at the office, doing her paperwork, drinking less in the afternoon, and actually showing up to lieutenants' meetings on time. So as a small reward, all her female coworkers thought of giving her a small birthday surprise, showing up at her door with booze and persimmon sweets for a good morning gift. Since almost everyone takes a day off on their birthday, they wouldn't have to worry about her being somewhere else. Nanao took the lead since it was her idea and opened the bedroom to wake Rangiku up.

And there were no words that could describe her shock when she saw her best friend with a bedmate. Nanao was just thankful her instincts shut the door before anyone else could peek in.

Now she, along with the rest of the Shinigami Women's Association, drank in one of their many secret hiding spots (thanks to president Yachiru) as they took in the new information. 

Rukia looked at Nanao worriedly. "Ise-san, don't you think you should slow down a bit?"

Kiyone grimaced. "I don't think she's drinking enough. I would have drunk myself under the table by now if I were in her place. Just thinking about finding Isane like that gives me chills."

"I still can't get over how she had a secret boyfriend and didn't tell us," Momo said before Nanao could correct Kiyone's assumption for her "sisterly" feelings towards Rangiku, “She almost never keeps secrets like this. Sometimes she tells us too much!”

Soi Fon poured Nanao and herself another cup. "And are you sure you didn't see his face?"

Nanao dropped her face on the table. "No," she mumbled out, "I could only see the back of his head." Although the silver hair, the scar across the chest, and the fucking missing right arm were enough to tell who he was.

Oh, gods, she was starting to curse now mentally. She should stop before the words begin to come out.

Isane smiled awkwardly at the scene. "Well, at least now we know why she's been in such a good mood lately. Remember when she turned down lunch break drinking with captain Kyoraku, and we all thought she was dying?"

Retsu smiled at that. "I remember that. You tied her up and sent her to me directly to get an emergency check. Even I was too scared of the possibilities to turn down the request. Rangiku was fairly upset with all of us."

"....I've just realized something," Nemu said suddenly, "it's impossible for her mystery bedfellow to be one of the seated officers, lieutenants, or captains."

Nanao raised her head from the table. "What do you mean?"

"Rangiku has a lieutenant-level spiritual power that has only grown stronger since she has taken her Shikai training more seriously," Nemu explained, "only people around her levels can be detected while standing in her presence. Since Rangiku's spiritual mass would cloak anyone weaker, none of us could sense his presence, which means whoever she is with has to be weaker than her."

Nanao's eyebrows went up to her hairline. His restrictions. They must have hidden his spiritual powers. Nanao thanked the gods and swallowed the irony of Nemu's last sentence.

"Now that is a big relief," Soin Fon said, "Can you imagine how awkward it would be if she dated someone we all knew?"

"Oh, yeah, I haven't thought about that," Momo said to herself, "With how intermingled everyone already is, adding a romantic relationship to the mix would be more than messy, especially since most of us are still getting used to how everything's changed."

Nanao's heart fell to her stomach as everyone agreed.

"I feel a bit proud now, even more so than I have before," Retsu said as she put a hand over her heart, and it was at that moment that Nanao had forsaken the cup and went straight to the bottle.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Three hours and two bottles later, Nanao found herself in front of Rangiku's apartment. While she did declare she was ready to go home to take a last-minute day off, she found herself in front of Rangiku's door instead. This is why one shouldn't drink and Shunpo.

After knocking on her door on a lost rhyme, Rangiku opened her door with a surprised expression. "Nanao-chan, What are you doing here? And why do you smell like your captain?"

Nanao swayed as she answered with her own question. "Can he extend his penis like his sword?"

Rangiku openly gaped at her. "What?"

"You know, he says shoot to kill, and it gets longer." Nanao wished she could shut her mouth, but the words kept flowing out. "Or do his restrictions stop that from happening? No, wait, does his hollowfication do something during sex? Like, can it transform his di-"

Rangiku slapped her palm over Nanao's mouth, to which Nanao was grateful. "Okay, since you're obviously hammered and won't listen to common sense, how about I'll pour you a glass of water, some tea, and we'll continue this conversation inside where my neighbors can't hear you."

Nanao nodded her head in agreement, and Rangiku released her mouth. She quickly pulled them both inside and sat Nanao down before going to the kitchen to prepare the aforementioned tea.

Rangiku sat a teacup in front of Nanao and took a deep breath. "So, why have you been drinking with Nemu at eleven in the morning?"

Nanao shrunk in her seat. It didn’t feel great to be on the other side of the table. “Because I found you and captain Ichimaru in bed together. We wanted to surprise you because it’s your birthday and I panicked, but no one else has seen his face!” She added the last part quickly after noticing her ever-paling face. "Wait, how did you know I drank with Nemu?"

"I learned the hard way not to get her too drunk, or I start asking the same things from her influence." Rangiku chuckled softly to herself. "Your next question?"

"How long have you two been together?"

Rangiku put her finger on her chin in thought. "We got togther around the last winter festival, so about nine months."

Now it was Nanao's turn to gape. "Nine months?! You've been in a secret relationship for nine months, and you didn't tell me?! I thought you trusted me in these kinds of things! What changed?"

"No, no, I still do, I swear!" Rangiku assured as she rose her hands in defense. "I wanted to tell you, I really did. It was just... well..." Rangiku sighed deeply and sat back in her chair. "Do you remember when Gin first came back, people broke into the third's barracks and graffitied their offices?"

"Yes, I remember. It was painful watching Kira go through that-" Nanao's eyes widened in realization. "Oh."

"Yeah," Rangiku said as she rubbed her neck, "It took forever for things to settle down. Just yesterday, Gin mentioned how relieved he was that no one harassed his men in six months. So when we first got together, he wanted to keep it a secret so-"

"So that none of those poor excuses of breathing beings would start troubling you," Nanao finished the sentence for her.

Rangiku let out a small laugh. "You know, Gin called them something similar, except a lot more vulgar."

"Trust me, the only reason I haven't said anything worse is because your tea is magic, and it's sobering me up quickly." Nanao took another sip and rubbed her forehead. A hangover is coming already; she could feel it.

Rangiku's eyes shone brightly. "I know, right? It took me forever to come up with this special blend. It cures me right away! And don't forget to drink your water; the tea itself isn't enough. You also need some actual hydration."

Nanao drank the water, and her headache went away. She honestly wanted to get this straight to the Twelve Division to be analyzed, but her phone buzzed before she could joke about that. "It looks like president Kusajishi wants us to have an emergency meeting at Kuchiki manor."

"Awww," Rangiku complained loudly, "but it's my day off."

"We might as well get there just to get it over with." Nanao stood up and went to pull on Rangiku's arm. "It's probably about her spending all of our fundings on another failed pool."

Rangiku let out one last grumble as she was pulled to her feet. Unfortunately, they had to walk there, with Nanao still slightly drunk and Rangiku being sleepy from her constant napping. By the time they got there, it was one in the afternoon. Though, they would have arrived sooner if it wasn’t for an unplanned coffee stop.

Nanao and Rangiku both sensed more people than there should be. Thinking it was a trap or a cruel prank, they drew out their swords just in case. What they didn't expect was confetti, most of the high-ranked Shinigami, and a large banner in the middle of the room that said "Happy Birthday, Rangiku!".

All the attendants in the room wished Rangiku happy birthday in one giant shout as captain Ichimaru blew a party horn. Nanao turned her head towards Rangiku with an open mouth. "I did not know this was planned."

"Trust me, I believe you," Rangiku said before letting out a big laugh and walking up to hug her friends. "How were you able to pull this off at the last minute? And with Byakuya's approval to use one of his party rooms?"

"I used the "you tried to kill me for an entire week" card, and he gave it to us without issues," Rukia explained with a shrug, but Nanao knew what this meant. She only used this card during very dire situations, and coming up with a last-minute birthday surprise fit that criteria. And Rangiku seemed to notice this too with how she was trying to suffocate Rukia in a boob bear hug.

Gin stood next to the Rangiku. "Is this surprise party a hit?"

Rangiku nodded her head tearfully.

"Cool, I'm gonna go lurk in the shadows now. See ya."

Gin gave one last peace before disappearing into thin air. Rangiku released Rukia with an angry "don't you dare" and ran after him, only to come back empty-handed with a huff. However, her frown soon changed to a giddy smile when people started to hand her alcohol.

Nanao felt herself relax when the music began to play. People were talking, some were laughing, others were eating, and there was a large stack of gifts in one of the corners of the room. Maybe this day can end on a sober high note after all-.

Her phone buzzed. 

Unknown number : If you wanted to know how long I was, you could've just ask ;)

Nanao threw her phone at the wall and went straight to the punch bowl.

[cuuno-moved]

And He was Nothing (A Jack Manifold Story)

tw for blood, death, self-deprication

Jack was nothing.

He’d never been anything. He was the kind of guy you met once, then forgot, a friend of a friend.

“Oh, you know Jack Manifold?”

“Yeah, the skinny kid with the broken glasses and the bald head?”

“That’s the one!”

He was nothing, and no one, and because of that, he’d always expected to die, in the way that background characters always die. It wasn’t going to be a martyr’s death, but maybe he’d even get a line in first.

He never expected it to hurt.

Of course it hurt. He’d heard the stories before, he thought he knew what to expect.

He’d heard from Tommy, back before he was exiled, the boy squirming at the memory as he talked about the pain, the cold, the fear.

He’d heard from Punz, the man laying on his back, staring at the sky in a strange, melancholy sorrow as he described the feeling of his body turning into nothing.

He’d heard from Skeppy, the trickster’s voice trembling as they sat together and watched the waves crash on the waves as he talked about sacrificing himself for someone he loved more than life itself.

He’d known it would hurt.

He hadn’t expected it to hurt this bad. The firework stuck in his stomach didn’t kill him instantly, burning, popping, destroying his guts bit by bit as he collapsed. He heard others cry out, but he was in too much pain to do anything.

It took nearly five minutes for his mind to give up, for his body to go limp for the last time.

The void was probably scarier than the dying by a million times. He just floated there, in the dark, in the cold, in the nothing, his eyes straining in the pitch black, his hands reaching for something. Anything.

He respawned among a dozen others, all of them sobbing and clutching their guts. He was in pain. He was in so much pain, but he didn’t say anything to Niki when she handed him a bottle of regen and told him to help out one of the others.

He did, helping around Pogtopia, cracking jokes, trying to raise people spirits, but after a while, he went back to Manburg, went home, and cried himself to sleep, trying not to remember the feeling of his body being torn apart.

He never went back to Pogtopia after that, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stand listening to people speak of their own deaths as if it made them special, wouldn’t be able to hear Tubbo talk about his execution as if it made him a hero, when dozens others went out the same way.

Pogtopia was full of heroes, and he was just a guy.

Tubbo and Tommy were both just as dead as he was, both just as fucked as he was, so they were in the same boat, and it was sinking fast. The two of them just had life jackets.

The battle of Manburg happened, not that he cared. He’d built a house on the outskirts of Manburg as he watched the world crumble.

Not a lot of other people stayed neutral, he noticed. George was oblivious to the destruction, the Badlands seemed to switch sides as they saw fit, and Karl had his own plans in mind, but Jack just shook his head and went back to setting up his new home.

He declared himself separate from L’Manburg, and Tubbo had agreed, telling him he was officially his own state, Manifoldland, and had nothing to fear from L’Manburg. He’d believed him.

He should not have believed him, especially when Fundy and Quackity showed up at his door with sadistic grins spreading over their faces.

They offered him a deal, in the end. Rejoin L’Manburg, or lose another life.

It wasn’t much of a choice.

Things were a sickening blur after that. Dream threatened L’Manburg (again), Tommy got exiled (again), and Tubbo caved to the slightest bit of peer pressure (again and again and again.)

Finally, Jack grew tired of being ignored, being treated like he hadn’t been there in the first war, fighting alongside the others, he needed someone who would treat him like a human being, not just a joke. Fundy was a dick, Eret was a traitor, Wilbur was dead, Niki was busy and Tubbo had bigger things to worry about.

Which left one person to talk to.

“Tommy! Hey, how’re y-”

He was cut off by a fist in his gut. The next thing he knew, he was dangling from the narrow walkway by his arms, legs kicking the air violently as he tried to get back up. Tommy did nothing to help, just staring at him as he did everything he could to just stay alive .

Then the boy was screaming at him about loneliness and friendship, and he didn’t know what was going on. If course Tommy was his friend, it wasn’t that he didn't care, he just didn’t realize the younger boy even remembered him anymore.

It wasn’t like Tommy’d ever made much attempt to act like a decent fucking human to Jack.

Jack begged, pleaded, sobbed, but Tommy had just shaken his head, and kicked his old friend into the lava with a fake salute.

That death hurt the worst.

It was also the coldest.

And the loneliest.

Jack had tried to lighten the mood. He stole Tommy’s prized possession then, a scarecrow he called his girlfriend. He thought things would get better, Tommy trying to get back at him, and him getting back at Tommy. A prank war, like back in the good old days.

But Tommy had just shrugged, and turned away to go back to Dream, and Jack felt something in his heart crack.

Tommy committed suicide a few weeks later, according to Tubbo, using up his last life, and Jack felt so goddamn guilty, so goddamn stupid.

And then Tommy was back, with Technoblade, the bastard who’d killed Jack the first time and he had no idea what to think.

Tommy had betrayed Techno, turning from his eldest brother to face Tubbo, and faintly, Jack wondered if the warrior was feeling the same dread, the same heartache he’d felt when Tommy had pushed him that last time.

The next day, Techno and Phil and Dream were back, and Jack was so so tired.

He stood his ground, with everyone else, charging the withers, fighting the best he could, watching as Techno spawned more, and more, and more, nine withers swooping through the air, sending people sprinting. He watched them close in on his house, and he felt a strange urgency well up inside him.

He had nothing. He had nothing but that house. That house was his only escape, the only thing on this server that truly belonged to him. So he ran, and he killed three withers, all on his own, and he looked around, hoping someone, anyone would notice and smile at him, a simple, ‘Good job, Jack, that was good’, or a nod, or any form of acknowledgement.

But he was Jack Manifold, and so he was left with nothing.

No one had even noticed, he realized. He did everything he could to help them, and when he needed it most…

He was alone.

When it was said and done, L’Manburg a smoking crater in the ground, the L’Mantree burnt down, and his home singed and damaged, he just laid down in the grass, and stared at the sky.

Suddenly, laughter echoed through the crater, and he crept to the edge. Those three bastards stood at the bottom, revelling in the destruction.

Dream, the man he and his friends had fought against for so long, who had destroyed this nation, this land, while barely raising a finger, stood with his back to Jack, long dirty blond hair in a high ponytail, casually leaning against a chunk of concrete.

Phil stood beside him, smiling lightly, face streaked with soot and blood. The little gems that hung from his hat and robes cast sparkles around the ruins, and Jack almost felt something like wonder, or admiration, or… regret? He looked like an angel, with his wings folded behind him, his eyes bright and fiery.

Technoblade was the one laughing, his curly hair spilling off his shoulders, the white-blond color it once was, now stained a dark pink with blood and clay. His single good eye glittered maniacally under his pig skull mask, and his arms swept in a wide arc as he twirled slowly, deep red velvet gown floating over the ground and causing pebbles to go skittering.

Jack remembered that laugh. The laugh of a man who pointed a firework down at him and smiled. The man who destroyed him, destroyed his home, destroyed his friends.

He stood up, almost expecting someone to step in, stop him, but no one noticed as he marched into the pit, to the three gods gathered in the center.

No one ever noticed.

Techno noticed, of course, stopping his revelry to gaze at the young man walking up to him, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Jack really really didn’t want to hear it.

He wound back his arm, and slammed his fist into Technoblade’s mask, as hard as he could.

Something in his fist cracked, but he pulled back, and punched again, and again, and again, aiming for the head, the chest, the neck. Finally, a voice that sounded so similar to Tubbo’s yelled his name, yelled at him to stop, but he didn’t care.

He was shouting something too, something wild, and garbled and furious. People were turning to stare, gazing into the crater at the mere soldier slamming his clearly broken hands into the Blood God’s chestplate, tears pouring down his face. Good. Let them stare. They weren’t going to remember him anyway.

Suddenly, two huge hands caught his wrists, forcing him to stop- almost a pitying gesture- and he stared up at the amber eyes of the most infamous killer in the dimension, and he felt nothing but rage. He slammed his head forward, into Techno’s mouth.

It didn’t do much, apparently, other than amuse the warrior, and he gave the boy a half-pitying smile before turning to glance at Phil.

“Mmmm… Thank the gods that L’Manburg has the great Jack Thunder Manifold here to keep them safe.”

Jack felt his heart plug as soon as his name left the lip of the other man, and he gulped. How did he know his name? He was nothing, a speck of dust in a ruined city. Finally, Techno turned his gaze back to him, and released him. Jack stumbled back a couple steps, before watching the other man pull out his sword.

He was going to die. He was going to loose his last life right here, right now, and he smiled.

“Do it.” His voice shook, but his heart burned with an intensity he was almost scared to acknowledge. “Kill me. I’m done. You win.”

Technoblade frowned at him, levelling the sword at his neck, but he paused. “...Do you have any last words, Jack Manifold?”

Jack hesitated. Did he? He’d never really thought it through, last words were something for heroes, for people who appeared on the book cover, for people who were worth remembering. He couldn’t think of anything, other than… “Just get it over with, bitch.”

And then Techno pulled back the sword and swung.

That death was the least painful. There was a moment of agony, as there always was, but it bled out quickly, along with the boy.

So he was in the void. Forever alone. Cold, tired, and alone.

Jack cried then. He hadn’t really cried in a long time, he realised, but sitting alone in the void seemed like the best time to do it.

“Hello.”

“...Wilbur?”

“Jack.”

“You look... nice.”

“Thank you. Pros of being dead, I suppose. I can make myself look good, and I don’t even have to shower.”

“Oh. Makes sense. Am I…am I here for good? Like, I can’t leave?”

“I’m… not sure? Everyone’s souls split in two when they die, the ghost bit and the soul bit. Your ghost is probably down there, somewhere, but hypothetically, you can switch with it-”

“No, I don’t want to be a ghost. I’ve met yours, he’s a bore.”

“...Ouch?”

“No offense. I don’t want to be a ghost, I just want to be me.”

“... Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“You weren’t much to begin with. Why go back?”

“What?”

“You… you were kinda the least… well, the least person I knew. You really want to try so hard to get back, when no one would even notice?”

Jack didn’t respond to that.

He just started walking.

For a while, Wilbur walked with him, trying to get him to stop, but, eventually, he gave up, letting him go.

He walked for hours, until the nothing turned into something.

The Prime Path.

He went home, and got a bowl of soup, and went to bed.

Everyone noticed he’d died.

No one noticed he shouldn’t have respawned.

He didn’t care.

He marched to Niki’s house, first thing in the morning, with his proposition.

Tommy was the main character, and Jack was nothing, but he’d be damned before he let himself get ignored.

He was everything, and he was nothing, and he knew the secrets of the universe, and he’d stared God in the eye and called him a bitch.

And Jack Manifold became a villain.

[xx-thedarklord-xx]

Dangerous Heart

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck.

Harry could hear the shouting and the sound of feet thundering after him. He couldn’t go home, that would lead them right to his only safe-haven. He could go to the Dursleys, that would serve them right, but that would mean actually seeing his ‘family’ and nothing was worth that kind of torture.

“Potter!”

Harry winced as he looked over his shoulder. He couldn’t see them, but the yelling was loud enough that bystanders were looking at him in alarm. He never should have given them his real surname.

“Hey!” The whisper yell almost had him tripping over his feet. “You can hide here.”

Harry looked up to see someone, the face was familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. The man was standing at the entry to a boarded-up storefront that hadn’t been used in years.

Indecision was strong but the sound of feet coming closer made up his mind.

“Okay.”

One foot closer to the guy and the polite smile on his face changed into a smirk and alarm bells went off in Harry’s mind.

A flash of a memory had him stilling briefly.

‘I heard you have liquid G.’

‘Depends on who told you.’

Shit.

An outstretched hand had Harry jumping backwards into an older woman who began yelling at him immediately. He tried to apologize but his mind was too distracted to do it justice. He knew that guy.

“Looks like you ripped off the wrong person,” The man jeered, eyes glancing toward where the yelling of his name was still coming from.

Harry was smart, he knew that, but he never could get rid of the ability to make things worse.

“How’s the cough?” Harry taunted, grinning when the guy’s hands clenched. It had been so easy to pass off cough syrup as liquid ecstasy when the other person had no clue what they were looking for.

“Why you—”

Harry didn’t stick around to witness the man’s anger or words, he jumped over a bin and kept running. The delay hadn’t worked to his advantage, as he looked over his shoulder, he could see the gang of guys still chasing him.

Fuck.

What was he supposed to do now?

Harry tried to throw them off by taking random turns but ended up hitting an alley.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Harry swore, his breathing increasing in tempo to match the sound of running he could hear.

He needed to leave, needed to get out of there and he needed somewhere safe. Somewhere where no one wanted to hurt him, somewhere where he could relax.

Harry needed somewhere.

When his hands started to shake, Harry didn’t think much of it, his whole body was shaking, and it was probably from the adrenaline. But as he looked down at his hands, he jumped in shock.

Yellow light.

Yellow light was surrounding his hands and he wasn’t sure what it was. Oh, logically his mind understood. The years of dreams, flashing lights, whispered Latin words and Uncle Vernon’s insistence that magic was a figment of his imagination and nothing more all led up to this.

Magic wasn’t real.

The Dursley’s said so.

But…

What else could it be? The light grew brighter, much too bright to look at. He closed his eyes as his hands came up to block it all out.

Wind blew his hair in a whoosh of cycling air that felt far too stifling to be real. It had to all be a dream, right? It wouldn’t have been the first time. When he looked back down at his hands and saw no more yellow, he thought he had been right. It was just a dream.

Except it wasn’t.

Harry looked up and his breath left him in a sharp exhale. The yellow magic had transferred to the space in front of him. Only it wasn’t just an orb of bright light, it was a portal.

A portal to another world.

There were shapes on the other side of the portal, but he couldn’t tell what they were. Low murmurs of a conversation were audible, and his curiosity had him taking a few steps closer.

“Where did you come from?” Harry asked, fingers trailing above the portal but not touching. It was a stupid question, but he had been hoping there was even a sliver of a chance that he hadn’t done that. Because if he had done that, then Uncle Vernon lied.

That would mean Magic was real, that he possessed it.

The sound of running grew louder, and Harry knew it was only a matter of seconds before they caught up to him. He could turn around and run a different direction and hope to wrangle free somehow.

Or.

He could go through the portal.

His curiosity grew too high to control and led to the very reckless realization that he wanted to see what was on the other side.

With a deep breath and no common sense whatsoever, Harry ran straight into the portal and didn’t look back.

—————

Harry wasn’t sure what he expected but skidding into another person and knocking them both over wasn’t it.

“Ow.”

The voice was soft in a way Harry didn’t hear too often. He looked down into angry silver eyes and his breath caught. Whoever he had knocked over was stunning. Pretty eyes, delicate hands, a sharp jaw and a pointed nose.

“You are so pretty.”

A lone arched brow preceded a small quirk of plump lips. “I know.”

Confidence. Harry liked that in a man.

“Just who might you be wizard?”

“Harry, I was—wait, wizard?” Harry asked, lips pursed in a frown.

“Do you prefer a different term? Warlock perhaps?”

“No—” Harry’s frown deepened. “I think you’re mistaken. I’m not a wizard or a warlock. I’m just human.”

That got him two arched brows as a response.

“You are the one mistaken, Harry.” There was a pause as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You have so much power to you. I can feel it, taste it even. It’s overwhelming.”

Harry wanted to laugh but there was no joke. Clearly, the man thought he was telling the truth.

“And you? Who are you?”

“My name is Draco, I am no wizard, but I do possess enough power to put up a good fight, and I own this Kingdom.”

Kingdom? Before Harry could look around, someone else spoke, causing him to startle.

“Do get off the floor, won’t you?” It was drawled in a condescending tone, one that Harry didn’t care for.

Harry was embarrassed to realize that he was still on top of Draco. He rushed to stand, offering a hand to help.

“Courteous,” Draco murmured, taking Harry’s offer. “A kind wizard, rare breed you are.”

Wizard. Harry still wasn’t sure what to think. The portal meant something. He knew he had done that, there was no arguing that away. But wizard??

“Never met any handsome kings before,” Harry returned, smiling at the light dusting of pink on Draco’s cheeks.

“Dangerous,” Draco whispered, eyes roaming Harry’s face. “My heart is weak to such charms.”

Flirting. Harry was used to flirting, it got him what he wanted in his line of business. Easy to rip people off when he played up his innocence and flirted enough to empty people’s pockets.

But he wasn’t used to flirting like this.

“There are more important things to attend to.”

Harry turned to look at the person who spoke and was surprised to see how similar the man looked to Draco. Definitely a familial resemblance.

“Not now father,” Draco said, eyes still on Harry. “Can I keep him?”

“No.”

“Keep me?” Harry asked, his lips twitching. “Shouldn’t that be something you ask me?”

“Oh,” Draco breathed, eyes blinking rapidly. “Is that how it’s done where you come from?”

Before Harry could say yes, Draco’s father spoke again.

“There is no time for such foolishness, we have to decide your next move. Your position will decide who we side with in the war.”

“War?” Harry asked, eyes looking around in alarm. His attention focused on a large round table showcasing a map filled with many different coloured pins.

Draco placed a hand on Harry’s back and guided him toward the map.

“This is my Kingdom,” Draco pointed toward the middle of the map, the only area free of pins. Serpent Landing. “All neighbouring lands are in war.”

“But you aren’t?”

“Petty disputes have never interested me,” shrugged Draco. “I’ve not sided with either, but I feel that won’t last much longer. I’m being pressured to choose.”

Harry looked down at the map as Draco continued to speak.

“Lion Valley is in need of potions for their troops, while Raven Hill is seeking rations,” Draco said with a huff. “Both offer a hefty payment in return should I side with them. Choosing one will make me enemies of the other, and I am loath to do so.”

“Why choose then?” Harry asked. “Send the potions to Lion Valley and the rations to Raven Hill. Both sides will think you are their ally when in reality you play both sides.”

Draco’s mouth parted on a small noise, eyes looking between the two lands on the map.

“Oh, I like him,” Draco’s father said before extending a hand. “Lucius Malfoy, a reluctant adviser to the arrogant King.”

“My arrogance was taught father,” Draco said with sparkling eyes. “I learned from the best.”

Lucius rolled eyes before pulling out a few pieces of paper and began to write what looked like a letter.

Draco picked up a sword from a display and sheathed it before turning to Harry. “I would show you my home, but I find that to be tedious. Would you like to go on an adventure with me instead?”

An adventure? Harry looked over his shoulder where the portal was still visible. Enough time had passed that he was sure he’d be fine to return home. But…

“Should a King go on adventures?” Harry teased. “Such an important position after all.”

“Thank you,” Lucius said, hands in the air. “My son, however, doesn’t listen to reason.”

Draco scowled at his father before turning to Harry, his face softening a margin. “Who if not a King? Exploration calls to me.”

When the portal began to flicker, Harry knew it wasn’t time but his own desires that caused the portal to weaken.

“Who am I to argue then?” Harry said, an arm held out as he ignored the dying portal and smiled at Draco.

“The trouble we can get into,” Draco whispered, there was an excitement to his voice that had Harry’s smile widening. “A King and a Wizard.”

“Lord help us all,” Lucius mumbled to the now empty room.

There was no doubt in his mind that Draco would keep Harry.

“Lord help us.”

---------

@abstractundefined​ I had to look up what Sword and Sorcery was lmaoo and I think if I continued the story it would make more sense how it fit the genre but oh well shsks. I do hope you liked it!

[stupid-stew]

me but i decide who dies

amphibia true colors spoiler warning! this is about the owl house but i talk about a big part of the episode so like AH

ALSO MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH TOH WARNING! not a fic, just that's the whole point of what this is so like be warned.

ok, marcy kind of died. yes at least her body has been more or less preserved, idk how alive that makes her, but i'm counting that as an on screen death. reason? getting impaled with a massive flaming sword kills you like 99% of the time, exception being possibly marcy. but what does the on screen death in amphibia have to do with the owl house? soooo much, at least to me.

i would love an on screen death of a major character in the owl house at some point, i think it could add a lot to the series and give a new depth to the characters, but there are some exceptions to the rule

personally, the people that are off limits for dying are lilith, amity, luz, and belos. everyone else is fair game.

lilith is my personal fave, but that's not why i don't want her dead. a big part of season 2 is probably going to have to do with lilith, her involvement in the coven, but also her redemption. i know some people also don't like the use of the word redemption here, just go with it for the sake of the argument. as a part of said redemption, she has to be alive. killing of a character as a way for them to pay for their mistakes is literally so dumb, i hate it, and i refuse to let it happen to her. that level of self sacrifice shouldn't be a part of her journey.

amity, i really hate to be that person, but since we don't really know all that much about her character, this is mostly about her representation. amity is a kid, she has so much character development ahead of her, but if true colors showed us anything it's that no matter how young you are, you can still get impaled. i would love to see more of her and her growth as a witch, season 2 intro gives me really high hopes for her, but since lumity is most likely going to become full canon sometime in the next couple seasons, killing her off would eliminate that, and no more lesbian characters dying off because all they are is expendable representation, dana terrace would never i just fell like it had to be said. no i do not like amity just because of the representation she provides, but i think killing her would be a big mistake for that reason.

luz, she's our protagonist, this is her story, she started it, killing her off would be interesting but i feel like it would ultimately end the story. she really is the centerpiece of the show, though i might let up on this stance if it happens in the last episode of season 3.

belos, this is weird. i don't want him to die, he's such a good villain, and his corruption will live on without him, killing him achieves nothing at all really. that being said, him getting stripped of his powers and imprisoned? i can live with that.

i could sit here and explain who should die and who shouldn't and go through each character, but that's kind of lame and i feel like anyone who read this far doesn't want to read all of that, so i'll just tell you who i think should be the one to die.

eda.

i love eda with all my heart, i really really do, but just think about it. she's such an impact on everyone, she's really important to the series, and her dying leaves a lot of opportunities for a lot of growth in some very prominent characters.

yes my favorite category is angst, but it provides me with thoughts.

if eda died, luz would be wrecked. it would allow us to see her mourning the loss of a family member while being separated from another, and it would give her that revenge aspect we only really saw in ybos with her smashing the crystal ball with lilith's face on it. it would give luz a chance to openly experience some emotions we haven't ever really seen from her, we know she would do anything for eda, but if she has eda taken away from her, in front of her, sheeesh.

and luz is a big impact on everyone else, seeing all luz's friends around her have to deal with not only the loss of someone who hopefully becomes very important to them this season, but also the experience of seeing someone they love and care about dealing with it on another level? it could reveal a lot about them, and some characters more than others. especially king, he cares about eda and luz, and we don't really know much about how king and eda met, but he does consider her family, and luz is someone he loves, so him not only suffering the loss of eda but seeing luz going through the same thing could provide a lot of things particularly for his character.

and also lilith. her sister dying? after she spent all that time trying to get her back? after learning how much pain she had caused during her now shortened life time? and now being stuck without eda, probably having to fill in her role for a lot of other characters? it could add another layer to her that we hadn't really seen before. this isn't because i'm like trying to further traumatize lilith, but because eda's role in her life is an important factor here and it needs to be considered.

but if it happens, when?

i think around the end of season 2 would be ideal, but that's just given what we know so far. season 2 is going to be epic, i can feel it in my bones, and i want eda to play a large part in that, which is hard for her to do if she dies. like i said, she's a really important character, and i mean like not to be a copycat but i really think it should happen in a similar way to marcy's "death". by that i mean, there should be a battle, and someone (preferably belos in this situation) comes up and kills her from behind while she's talking to someone. it shouldn't be similar to marcy's situation exactly, but i think that sort of sudden oh shit she just died is perfect for eda's character so far.

even given what little we do know about eda's role in season 2, hopefully with gwendolyn showing up in her life, doing whatever it is that she does and causing strain, it adds a new dynamic to eda, with her having the mother figure inserted suddenly into her life instead of being the mother figure for someone else. and i probably sound like a hypocrite with the whole "no killing characters major development", but if she dies towards the end of season 2, she gets a lot of chances to grow as a character and prove it, especially with how massive her role in the series has been so far.

also, if it happened end of season 2, imagine season 3, hit the ground full sprinting and have the remaining characters take those 44 minute episodes to process and react.

this is obviously really dependent on what actually goes down in season 2 when it starts airing, and seeing as how all we have to go on so far is the episode synopses for the first quarter of season 2, this is really just my personal opinion, but i do think it would be really interesting, even if they have to pull something similar to marcy where everyone just thinks she's dead for a while, i'm totally for that too. it's really just about her place in everyone else's lives and how it would effect the series, i think she's the best choice.

[20thcentury-kylo]

Tides Of Memory

(prologue)

Well here it is- sorry this has taken me so long, I'm not really the best artist n such but here is The prologue chapter to Tides Of Memory 

                                                          Enjoy~ 

Sometimes.... he still dreams of their words... 

"Just breathe- it'll all be fine🎶" 

Delicate melodies offset by somber guitar strums... The lyrics plague his memory, repeating in endless loops. Strangely enough he feels something similar in his current state. 

Alas the boy assumes that's all they are- bizarre, sorrowful dreams. 

Xx

To Kiome, Ebisu is the closest thing he has to a home. The smiles of his rosé haired boyfriend made him feel more at home, than any foster family could. Ebisu was his tether, the source of the light in his eyes- He was without a doubt the love of Kiome's life. Even more so now as gazes up at the aspiring musician, listening to the slow harmony of the boy's soft tones... 

"I knocked on your bedroom door, and waited for you to enter~" He knows to cherish these moments, etch them deep within his heart to captivate him forever... Ebisu with his eyes closed absently guiding his hand from note to note, sings the soft tune. The song which he curiously named San Diego, is one of goodbyes, and wistful memories. Yet he plays it in such a way that one cannot help but to have hope, it's a feeling Kiome understands all too well. 

"I bought you a crimson rose, smelled just like you did~" The feeling washes over him in a soft murmur, and the boy decides that he should do something about the space between them. Face to face, heart to heart- his lips utter nothing but his eyes speak a thousand ballads in a silent attempt to intertwine his soul even further with his beloved. A slightly shaken hand reaches to cradle the musician's cheek, the subsequent blush from Ebisu spurring him on further. Their lips meet in a soft meld, fluttering beats pulling one another closer. And amidst the safe stillness of that lamp lit bedroom- he feels... they both feel- complete. 

--- 

"Daring- I love you🎶~" 

Learning of his power, and his true destiny.. Kiome almost lost it all. The fear of losing what little he had in froze him- What if he couldn't win, what if he couldn't protect them all. Such worries cloud his mind, there is no confidence in the subtle whispers of his newly acquired sword. But of course not, they do not hold the voice of his beloved. So as the swordsman sits paled in moonlight, he thinks of nothing but their voice. 

"If only we could fly across the nether~" A subtle smile of relief finds its way onto Kiome's expression. He scoots over, making room for Ebisu to sit with him. 

"Hey... how are ya holdin up?" The question forces a sigh from his lips... they're trembling. 

"I won't lie- I'm... scared out of my mind right now.." Ebisu reaches for his hand, and Kiome can feel the tremors in his soul calm at the contact. Gradually all the doubts he'd been suppressing float to the surface and out through his stuttered words. 

"I-I just- don't wanna forget you, wherever I end up." They're on borrowed time, and he can hear each Jarring tick pass them by. Stray tears escape the poor boy's eyes, he's trying to stay strong, if not for himself then for Ebisu. His own depressing thoughts are cut short by the warm embrace of his partner. 

"I Promise- You won't!!" It's a declaration that could pierce the heavens, Kiome notices that he's started to tear up as well yet says nothing.

Ebisu pulls back- flush faced yet Smiling nonetheless. His breaths are shaking, and his words flitter out sporadically, but Kiome knows- he knows and he couldn't be more thankful. 

"No matter what happens to us- to our memories..." He's suddenly quiet, his features holding a wistful hope. Kiome can't help but awe at how beautiful he is. 

"No matter what- every song I've written, every note, every memory... they'll be right here- etched in my heart.." Ebisu gazes at him with a look that peers straight into his core, he means this... And the embrace that follows is almost too poetic for words. 

"Ditto~" Kiome swears on this life, and every past life he's apparently had- he'd never forget this for as long as his existence still burned. 

--- 

The 1st thing that comes to him is the overwhelming burning stench as he looks upon the scene before him. They'd come for him. This was it- nowhere for Kiome to run. He steels himself with thoughts of his beloved, gripping his sword tighter. 

"Darling~ I love you🎶~" 

Ebisu was safe.. he'd made sure of that before ever considering this fated clash. If he survived this... he just might have to marry the ocean eyed musician. It gives him the will to move forward- When he survived this, he was definitely marrying him. The voices whispering from within his sword hum in agreement, giving him the confidence he needs to charge into danger. He couldn't die here- not when he had someone to live for. 

-- 

The beast's endless roars are all but deaf to him. Kiome stands, eyes burning bright. This is it- do or die... His sword rests firmly in his grasp- his strength does not waver, even for a moment. Each step is another reminder of what he's fighting for- each strike he bears the shock in stride, like hell was he gonna fall here... 

His body may betray his intentions- writhing with bloodied bruises and aching muscles.. But his heart can't give up now- his very soul screams out in defiance. The exception before him seems to hear this cry- as it stumbles back before giving a scream of its own. 

And as he braces himself to fight on.. the words echo ever so clearly in his head 

'Darling- I love you~" 

-- 

"Kiome!! Please... stay with me-" He can't feel his body anymore... 

Ebisu sits there- cradling the dying body of his beloved- blood covered, and practically torn to pieces... his eyes won't open. 

"Kiome!!" Ebisu's presence is the only thing keeping him from letting go completely... He wants to see his face.. To tell him not to weep for the foolish.. 

"I'm here.." Opening his eyes sends surges of blinding pain through his retinas.. but the moment that pink hair and rosy cheeks come into view- such pain is all but forgotten. He can't hear the exception anymore- guess he must've won. Then again... at what cost. 

"Why so sad.." Ebisu won't stop crying- and the sight of it brings tears to his own eyes. Suddenly the reality that he probably won't survive this  hits him all at once, and it's only through sheer exhaustion that he doesn't break down weeping then and there. Instead he sighs with a shaky breath, and gazes into his beloved's eyes for what he thinks to be the last time... 

"My time here is running short🎶" Ebisu's expression shifts, before he graces the dying boy with a tearful smile... 

"Your kisses were my ambrosia🎶"Ebisu leans down and lays a soft kiss onto Kiome's forehead- Kiome can feel a tear drop ever so slowly... 

"They melted into my skin🎶" A soft light begins to emerge from Kiome's core. This... was the end. He doesn't take his eyes off Ebisu for a moment- he'd burn the image of his beautiful face into his heart.. so he'd never forget.. 

"Darling... I love you" 

Xx 

The subtle morning light peaks through the dorm windows- rousing it's residents from slumber. He opens his eyes to find that they're wet with tears... 

'Again huh-'Kiome has had the same dream for the 3rd time this week. Of places he's never been, of people he's never met... of love he's never felt. But they're just dreams- he muses to himself. They meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. Yet as he prepares for the day- eating his breakfast that Shiro so graciously prepared and brushing his teeth before heading to class- a strangely familiar tune remains stuck in his head... 

"I knocked on your bedroom door🎶~"He wonders where he could've heard it...

-PROLOGUE END-

Once again im really sorry for this taking so long- anywho i hope you enjoyed, i plan to update this semi frequently with a few drawings to complement each chapter (ReBlogs and Comments Are very much appreciated I wanna hear what you guys think uwu)

~Till Next Chapter~

[bowsie22]

Pingxie Week 2021 Day 7

Summary: Pangzi just thought it was a pretty decoration

Written for Day 7 of Pingxie Week – Prompt: Qilin (Warning, mentions of character death. The death isn’t described, but the character dying is mentioned a few times.)

He didn’t expect it to hatch, no one expected it to hatch. It was just supposed to be a nice gift to cheer Tianzhen up, even if only for a minute.

Wu Xie hadn’t been the same after Xiaoge took a shot meant for him and bled out in the tomb. When they got home, he spent the first three weeks in their bed, barely eating the food Pangzi cooked for him, staring at the pictures on the wall, crying silently.

After the three weeks, Xie Yuchen showed up and locked the bedroom door behind him. Pangzi still has no idea what was said, but after a few hours the friends left the bedroom, settling at the kitchen table to eat the food Pangzi and Heiye had cooked. It was a quite lunch and Wu Xie barely ate, but it was something. He was out of the bedroom. For now, Pangzi could be happy with that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He found it in Beijing at a friend’s shop. Wang Meng was keeping an eye on Wushanju and its owner. It had been four months since Xiaoge’s death and Wu Xie was slowly recovering. He ate more, spoke to his friends and family, even smiled every once in a while. But he certainly wasn’t the Wu Xie everyone knew and loved.

So, Pangzi decided to buy him something nice, something he could research or puzzle over, to distract him. Poring over everything in the shop, he eventually decided on what looked like an egg. It seemed to change colour from blue to green when it caught the light and had scale pattern spiralling from the top to the bottom. Large in size, Pangzi had to hold it in two hands, surprised at how light it was. Looking at it, Pangzi had a weird feeling that he’d regret it if he left the shop without this thing. Mind made up he haggled with his friend, coming out on top of course, and walked out of the shop one egg extra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been two weeks since Pangzi had returned from Beijing and, as he expected, Wu Xie was obsessed with solving the mystery of the egg. How old was it, were the spirals a map or tribal marking, could it be opened? It was nice, seeing his Tianzhen back in research mode. They still missed Xiaoge, that would never go away. Even catching sight of his hoodie that they never removed from the coat stand was enough to bring Wu Xie to tears sometimes, never mind that sword that rested against the wall in their bedroom.

But over the past two weeks, Pangzi had noticed a change in Wu Xie. He was sleeping better, eating better. When Pangzi asked him, the younger man muttered something about the egg helping and encouraging him, which made no sense, but if it made his Tianzhen feel better, who was Pangzi to judge? Let Wu Xie do what he wanted to feel better.

4 am the next morning, Pangzi was rethinking the egg. Woken by Wu Xie screaming his name, Pangzi ran to his room, gun in hand, ready to take on whoever was making Wu Xie scream like that.

“What the hell!”

Wu Xie looked up, eyes wide, hands shaking.

“I don’t know! I woke up to a cracking sound and when I looked this was happening.”

This being the egg. It was rocking from side, cracks growing across the surface. It was also glowing, the light throwing odd shadows across the wall. Pangzi couldn’t make sense of them, why would a desk cast a shadow of a deer?

“Pangzi! Something’s coming out.”

Dropping his gun, Pangzi fell to the floor beside his friend, waiting to see what it was. He definitely hadn’t expected this when he bought the thing. Egg shell falling to the ground, the creature revealed himself. Pangzi knew he wasn’t breathing, but really didn’t care.

“Wu Xie.”

“Yeah. Holy God, it’s a qilin.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was tiny, able to curl up in the palm of Wu Xie’s hand. It had seemed to imprint on the young man, following him around the room, distressed mewling leaving its mouth when it lost sight of Wu Xie. It was kinda cute. Less cute was the fact that neither Pangzi nor Wu Xie knew how to look after it. And Zhang Rishan had been no help.

“I’ve never read anything about an actual qilin being cared for by the family. Best bet, find out what it likes to eat and keep it entertained. And by the sounds of it, keep it around Wu Xie.”

Useless. Through a lot of trial and error over the weeks they soon discovered that the creature’s favourite food was chicken, its favourite person was Wu Xie, closely followed by Pangzi and if left alone for too long, it was very capable of destroying their belongings. Pangzi would miss that leather jacket. Naming it was a responsibility left to Wu Xie, who was struggling. None of the names seemed right, so for now, it was the qilin. It came running when called either man called out for it, stopping at their feet, ready to do anything.

“We basically have a mythical dog.”

“A fast growing one. Pangzi, does he look bigger?”

Another problem. This thing grew so fast. It went from curling up in Wu Xie’s hands to curling up in his lap in the first week. Now it was roughly lion sized.

“Pangzi, it he keeps growing, we’ll have to move him somewhere else. Wushanju won’t be big enough.”

Wang Meng was already complaining about the hooves destroying the wooden floors and the horns damaging the door frames.

“Come on Tianzhen, how much bigger can he get?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pangzi regretted ever speaking. After a month, the qilin was fully grown. It was the same height as an adult deer. Its scales were navy blue or black depending on the light and it’s two horns were a light grey colour. Thankfully, they didn’t have to move the creature, as the courtyard and gardens were more than big enough for it. Pangzi wasn’t sure they could even remove it from the Wushanju. The qilin was still hopelessly devoted to Wu Xie, following his every movement with intelligent brown eyes, racing to his side if it looked like Wu Xie needed help or was in any trouble. Any similarities to the third member of their triangle were quickly and brutally snuffed out. Wu Xie was recovering, looking better and healthier, happier! But anyone who knew him could still see the sadness in his eyes, sense that something was missing from their young friend. Pangzi was not going to ruin that recovery based on a suspicion, and a far fetched one at that.

Going to bed that night, he wasn’t surprised to see the qilin curled up on the nest Wu Xie created at the foot of the bed. Approaching the creature, Pangzi knelt beside it, reaching out to stroke between the horns. He should probably be afraid of the dragon head, but the qilin hadn’t hurt them yet.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this to a mythical creature that isn’t meant to exist, but please look after him. The last person I asked to do that took it very seriously, so I need you to do the same ok?”

Maybe it was a trick of the light, but Pangzi swore that the thing nodded at him.

“Thank you. It won’t be easy, but he’s worth it, trust me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The qilin took Pangzi’s words to heart. He followed Wu Xie everywhere, even into tombs shrinking down to a comfortable size. Knowing that those horns could be used to stab and kill made Pangzi a little apprehensive, but staying on its good side couldn’t be too difficult, could it? They left the tomb, tired and a bit worse for wear, but alive. Wu Xie was silent on the ride home. Their first tomb with Xiaoge was difficult. Pangzi still found himself wanting to call out to the older man to find a trap or follow Wu Xie down a pathway, the name catching in his throat as he realised that there’d be no reply, verbal or otherwise. A few times, he caught Wu Xie turning to the side, excitement on his face, eager to show off whatever he found, only for the smile to fall when he saw the qilin, not his Xiaoge. But they survived this tomb, and they’d survive the others. That’s what they promised Xiaoge before he died, they’d live on and keep exploring tombs. It was the least they could do.

Even with the qilin, he still didn’t like leaving Wu Xie alone. The qilin couldn’t cook or force Wu Xie to eat. Leaving Erbai’s home, having handed over some of the treasures from the tomb, Pangzi settled behind the wheel, taking a minute to relax. Every conversation with Erbai felt like another tomb, traps everywhere for him to fall into. The man couldn’t have a pleasant conversation, could he? Always trying to catch someone out on something. Checking his phone, he was surprised to see a message from Wang Meng. The younger man rarely messaged him, preferring to communicate with his actual boss.

‘You need to come. NOW!’

‘Pangzi!! Get home ASAP!! This is not a drill!’

‘Read your messages! Get back here!’

Stuffing his phone in his pocket, Pangzi sped home, heart in his throat. Had something happened to Wu Xie? Had something happened to the qilin? What was going on? Stopping outside the Wushanju, Pangzi saw Wang Men pacing outside the closed gates. Were those tears? Was Wang Meng crying? Even more scared, Pangzi grabbed the man by the shoulders, shaking him.

“What the hell? What’s with those messages, what is going on?”

“Just go in. You need to see this Pangzi.”

Holding back his own tears, terrified of what he might see, Pangzi steeled himself. He was no coward. And he promised to always be there for his friends, which meant seeing them at their best and worst. Whatever was behind these gates, he would face head on, for Wu Xie, for Xiaoge, for the Iron Triangle.

Pushing the gates, he saw Wu Xie kneeling in the courtyard. He could hear the younger man’s sobbing from here. His attention however, was instantly caught by the person holding Wu Xie in their arms. A very familiar person in a black hoodie with two oddly long fingers attached to the hand stroking through Wu Xie’s hair.

“Xiaoge?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After collapsing next to the two, pulling them into an extremely tight hug and sobbing the courtyard for about an hour, Pangzi managed to get to his feet and send Wang Meng home, ordering him to keep quiet about this for the time being. Once that was done, he and Xiaoge (who was alive! Xiaoge was alive!) pulled a still crying Wu Xie to his feet and deposited the man on the couch, Xiaoge quickly falling into place beside him. Pangzi left the couple to make some tea, needing to do something.

Returning with the tea in hand, he stopped at the door, taking in the scene in front of him. Xiaoge was there, breathing and alive, on their couch. Arms wrapped around Wu Xie, face buried in Wu Xie’s hair, the other man’s face in Xiaoge’s neck, still crying, hands gripping the familiar hoodie (the one from the coat stand Pangzi noted in the back of his mind) so tight it looked like it would rip. Needing answers, Pangzi settled into the armchair, handing the tea to his friends.

“So, what the hell?”

“Pangzi, Pangzi, he was the qilin. All this time, he was the qilin.”

Looking from Wu Xie’s tear stained, blotchy face to Xiaoge’s serious one, he knew they weren’t lying.

“Hah, the eyes never lie, I knew they looked familiar. But how?”

“When a Zhang Qiling dies, they get a second chance. But it’s not easy. The egg has to go to the right person. One who’ll care for it, look after it. Not someone who’ll use it selfishly. Your friend knows Zhang Rishan. After you told him I’d died, he went to the tomb, got the egg and handed it to your friend, telling him that you had to see it. You did and brought me back here. I had to grow and get my memories back before I could be me again.”

“And how did that happen?”

“I kissed him.”

Smile spreading across his face, Pangzi looked at Wu Xie. The other still had his face buried in Xiaoge’s shoulder, ignoring the grin on Pangzi’s face.

“I’m sorry. You kissed him like the prince does Sleeping Beauty? And here I thought you were the damsel in distress.”

“Shut up Pangzi! What would you know about beauties or damsels anyway!”

It felt good to be making fun of the couple again. Xiaoge really was home. Becoming serious again, Pangzi turned back to Xiaoge, wanting confirmation of this ridiculousness.

“You’re saying Wu Xie’s love saved you?”

Xiaoge looked down at the younger man, gentle smile on his face, eyes shining with nothing but adoration for him.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Ah, this is getting too mushy for me. Xiaoge, stand up and give me a hug. I’m going to bed, let you two catch up. Remember though, not too loud though. I’m an old man, I need my rest.”

Ignoring Wu Xie’s stutters, Pangzi pulled Xiaoge into a tight hug. He was here, he was real. Pangzi wasn’t ashamed to say that he started crying again, tears falling onto Xiaoge’s shoulder.

“Thank you.”

Xiaoge whispered to him, face buried in Pangzi’s collar. His hug was tight, comforting, it was real.

“For looking after him. Thank you.”

“Thank you for coming back to him. To us. I’ve missed you so much.”

Pulling away, he took one more look at the young face in front of him. He still couldn’t believe that this was real, sure he’d wake tomorrow to a qilin at Wu Xie’s side.

“I still have a lot of questions, but they can wait until tomorrow. For now, get some rest, the both of you. We are going to be overrun with visitors once this is revealed.”

Waving to them, Pangzi left the room, stopping in the doorway to take one final look. Xiaoge, living, breathing Xiaoge sat back down, pulling Wu Xie back into his arms. Pangzi couldn’t hear what they were whispering to each other, probably declarations of their undying love, Wu Xie giving out to Xiaoge for sacrificing himself, Xiaoge saying he’d do it again to protect Wu Xie, all the normal things. God, it was sickening.

Pangzi loved it.

 A/N So, I was a bit unsure about writing a shapeshifting/reincarnated qilin. Please let me know if this isn’t ok or disrespectful in anyway and I will take this down.

[accessfuckingdenied]

Fluff of inosuke having a niggtmare about so dying so the next day hes super protective and needy and that night the nightmare comes back he wakes up crying and so realizes why he was acting weird all day so she comforts him and pampers him the next day and that nught holds him close wth cuddles and lullabyes and he sleeps well this time curled in a ball while so hold him

I dunno if it is fluffy enough but I tried-

Warnings: mentions of blood and death

Inosuke and a painful nightmare

Poor Ino went to bed in a bad mood, caused from his latest mission

He was utterly itrritated and injured, and lots of thoughts flashed through his mind, both bad and good

It took him too long to fall asleep, even after he was snuggled in his s/o

The experience that night was unbearable for him

He was having a dream, a really morbid dream, more like a nightmare

His loved one was so far away.. in the dark void, their face was covered in warm tears, screaming Inosuke's name to come and save them

Alas... he couldn't move nor shout back to reassure he will be there in no time

In the distance you could see Muzan's mischievous grin, right behind his s/o. His nails digging deep in their skin, causing them to scream in excruciating pain

Inosuke couldn't bear it. He was not able to shout or move a muscle, it was unbearable

Out of nowhere, they were taken away in the dark, far away from Ino's sight, only blood to be splashed everywhere afterwards

That left him in utter shock and terror, the poor boy tried to scream his lungs out, but he woke up, shouting in reality instead

He was all sweaty, panting and suffocating, thank god his s/o woke up too and immediately took him in their arms

They let Ino describe what has caused him that, and he timidly explained the nightmare he had

Of course, his s/o reassured him that this will never happen, absolutely never

They began to comfort him and caress his back, throwing him compliments how strong he is and how he will never let such thing happen

Of course our boar boy got excited from all the complimenting and his mood was boosted, he had all that confidence stored somewhere

They tried to fall asleep again, but instead, Ino was still haunted from his nightmare and was staring at his s/o, worried that something similar might happen while they are asleep

However, the recalling of his lover's compliments again raised his hopes up and he was sure he will protect them if a calamity happens

When he woke up he saw that his s/o was up already, he really got the chills, again thinking the worst. The nightmare was still following him

He needed some time to process everything and calm down. So he attempted to think positively and searched for his beloved one

Fortunately, he found them in the kitchen, probably cooking something for breakfast, judging by the pleasant smell

Their morning went well, as usual, but something seemed odd in him

He was more protective and always observed them cautiously, no matter what they did

He was afraid they will choke, impale themselves with a sharp utensil or even burn themselves with hot water

"What?? I am just worried about you, dumbo!"

He always followed them, e v e r y w h e r e like some kind of spy, without them noticing

Inosuke would always shout at them to be careful and approach them to observe how they are doing stuff, really afraid that they might hurt themselves. He was so observant and always followed them

He would also hug them fom behind and kiss them out of nowhere. Ino wanted to be near them

"I want a hug. Now."

Inosuke was so clingy it was almost weird. All these long hugs and caresses, the gentle kisses he placed every 5 minutes. Not that any of them would complain

His s/o noticed his strange behaviour. They wanted to know if what they were thinking is true and told him that they will go to the near forest for water

What Inosuke didn't remember was they had plenty of water in their house

He demanded to accompany them, but they said the spring was a few meters deep, and besides it is daytime

He didn't want to seem strange and he pretended to go to their room and "play with his swords"

He went out from the windows tho and carefully watched his lover go in the forest

Ino felt fear and immediately rushed to follow them, but he didn't know they stopped at one spot, waiting for him

He was embarrased af when his lover giggled at him

"It is not funny! I just wanted to come! It is boring to be alone there!"

"Yeah..sure."

When they came back they on purpose hit their hip in one of the furniture, and Inosuke took out his swords

"Are you okay? Does that hurt? Should I shred this to pieces???"

His s/o giggled at his statement and opened their arms for a warm hug and sat down, accosting him

Ino still didn't know why he was so protective throughout the whole day, but they spent the rest few hours in talking and hugging

Yep, it was true. The nightmare caused this

The very same night, Ino had trouble falling asleep, but when he did.. the exact same nightmare came again, only that after the splashed blood, he heard a guttural laugh and saw his s/o's weakened dead body

"DON'T LEAVE ME, I BEG YOU!"

He woke up shouting and sweaty again, only that this time tears were formed in his eyes and commenced falling down his cheeks

Again, his lover woke up and their heart almost stopped when they saw how anguished he was, so they immediately pulled him closer and wrapped their hands around him

Ino buried his head in their chest, his tears still falling down

"You're...here?"

"Yes! Of course I am.. how could I not be?"

And they couldn't sleep. Ino was so scared that the exact same nightmare will show when he falls into slumber again. He couldn't stand it

He realized that very nightmare was the source of his demeanor the day before, which of course was normal, since he was able to form a steady bond between him and his lover and he will broke down if they are gone. He narrated the sequence of the nightmare, to which his loved one sighed and gently placed a kiss on his forehead

They tried to calm him down by talking to him and massaging him, it worked and he stopped weeping, but couldn't fall asleep again

Both of them stayed up the whole night hugging and kissing, without talking much as they were enjoying the silence and each other's presence

When the morning arrived, the love birds decided to take it easy this day and relax, not overthinking that nightmare Ino had

This time Ino's s/o decided to make him stay in one place and make him relax and feel loved and calm, forgetting about the dream

They cooked his favourite meals, showered together, brushed his hair and braided it, he was pampered the whole day and whatever he asked for his s/o did it, which were mostly kisses and hugs

As evening approached, they went to their shared bedroom and snuggled under the blankets. Ino's s/o decided to give him one relaxing back massage

Ino of course was being a little turd and started a pillow fight, which eventually turned into a heated make out session

They were going to sleep soon, but Ino was still somehow worried that something might happen, so he wrapped his hands around his s/o and placed his head on their chest, feeling a bit drowsy as he was enjoying the sound of their heartbeat

Ino was smiling the whole time and was so happy that he was blessed with such a divine creature like his lover, he couldn't be more happy

He curled himself in a ball and this is when his s/o began singing his favourite lullaby... he was overjoyed

He almost teared up.. their soft voice and gentle touch sent him to the heavens and mesmerized him completely

Eventually, thank to his s/o's captivating voice and the subtle caresses, he peacefully fell asleep, lightly snoring, his s/o following him after

The dream still couldn't escape his mind completely, but after that night he did his very best to stop thinking about it forever

Hope you liked it!

[lovetnaomi]

Secrets of the Dusk Chapter 22

Chapter 22

                Even the world’s number one fool would have enough common sense to know that they were in danger, it didn’t take the blue flames enthralling themselves at his feet, it didn’t take the slow rise from the book as he cracked each of his fingers preparing for a morning stretch-if that’s what they were going to call it-or that cocky smile that portrayed wildly on his face. His atmosphere ran through the air similar to the way an autumn wind brushed along the hair on someone’s neck signaling that the upcoming winter was going to be devastatingly frigid.

                He was looking at her the way most would look at prey while they were starving. Uraraka swallowed, her arms instinctively reaching to block as he reached for her, “Little brother where’d you find yourself a goddess?”

There was a pause of curiosity tingling in his eyes, a curious family love, that was ultimately stamped out. As if he had done it before. What he needed to do to survive. Uraraka’s eyes lingered towards the book that was his prison. She couldn’t rule that out as a possibility. The man’s startling blue eyes lingered down towards her wrist, “Guess you really do take after our dad after all.” A disappointed sigh escaped this man in the form of a dense smoke running down to the ground empowering the flames that threatened to take the house.

                “If you could let me go that’d be great.” Uraraka widened her stance, she may not have been a supernatural, but he didn’t know that yet, this man was likely ready to underestimate her, and right now as much as being underestimated all the time sickened her, it was her advantage.

                “Shouto, explain to me what you’ve done.” The blue eyes that had become so familiar to her, now on a different face, showed a form of icy discontent that she had only seen once before. She knew it was a Todoroki family trait at this point. Shouto did his best to hide it. But this man, he relished in it. That ice in his eyes and the barrier he built around his heart had become what kept him alive. Whatever situation he had been in previously, he likely considered this better. They may have been in their home territory, but this man was clearly at an advantage.

                “Let her go.” Katsuki snapped, his red eyes reflecting off the mirror leaving an afterimage as they trailed around the room.

                A soft displeased laugh escaped this man, “I don’t think I’m the one that needs to free her.” His hand grabbed her bracelet shaking it back and forth, “How much did you take after our father? Trapping her here? Just like mother?” A small pitiful growl came from him.

                Anger boiled in Uraraka’s chest, not once had they ever instituted that she was trapped, they had been more than welcoming in offering her to stay, but they never had insisted that she wasn’t allowed to leave,  “I’m not someone’s hostage. I can choose to leave when I feel like it. He’s been more than help-“

                The man laughed, “Sure, sure, but do you know you live with a half-demon and a vampire? Or maybe you’ll need this information as a goddess you know how much your blood goes for on the black market? They’re just building their trust with you.”

                “They wouldn’t.”

                “Please, no one of the supernatural essence can resist the allure. I’m sure there’s been some nights where you’ve been scared of both of them. Probably had a hard time controlling themselves while they try to cut your ties so no one comes looking for you,” He pulled her wrist closer, pantomiming chomping on it, “Do you know? How enticing you are to them? You’re endangering them and endangered by them. There’s a reason gods and goddesses aren’t considered heinous supernaturals like us.”

                Her hands shook, she wanted to play brave, but it was hard to play brave in the hands of a man who could feel you shake. He wasn’t a source to be trusted, he wasn’t something she could trust, but if she didn’t ask, she would never know, her mind would be begging for answers the rest of her life and disappointed she didn’t take the chance to know more, she had to know more, “Why? What does that mean?”

                A small scoff escaped him, “Although you think you’ve found your people just because you aren’t human and they aren’t, remember you’ll never be one of them.” Dabi scoffed shaking his head, “Maybe you’re not trapped by them, but you’re trapping them? Even with this confinement,” he pulled on her bracelet, “The allure of your goddess energy is still leaking out all over the place.”

                Uraraka’s eyes shifted towards the dark blue-haired man that had originally took a form of a fairy, still standing there, eyes wide and form of considerable shock. He clearly knew the error of his ways. If he was still in the right of mind, he likely recognized the man with the ever-tightening grip on her arm and would likely be running by now. She felt guilty. It would be twice she used him. Last time for a problem as a favor, this time to clean up his own mess.  Her eyes shifted towards him, a soft whisper on her lips laced in an attempt of this allure that she had just been told about hoping that it wasn’t an exaggeration, right now she just wanted to live. She didn’t want a bloodbath in the office or the house. She didn’t want to see such a bloodbath again. She felt selfish. But it was okay to be selfish sometimes. Her lips moved. Buzzing in the way the magic had echoed off of her hands, vibrating as each word passed her lips with a different intent than what was voiced, “I thought you wanted to live?”

                The blue-haired man looked up, his eyes widening as he stumbled forwards, Dabi dropping her and moving backward, “What did you just do to him?”

                Flames moved behind her head, Todoroki reaching to punch him in the face, Katsuki flinging himself between the two of them as they attempted to move Dabi outside of the house.

                “The house will protect you! Run!”

                She knew that. She knew that. There was something familiar about this scene. She knew if she begged the house it would hide her. But it wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want to hide. She wanted answers. But she also didn’t want the house to burn. Uraraka paused, focusing on Dabi’s face, which wasn’t quite an easy feat considering he was constantly dodging berated attacks against his face from both Todoroki and Katsuki.

                The blue-haired man stumbled next to him, pushing himself off of the bookshelf barely standing, “I’m going to puke.” He glared at her through his hand, anger boiling behind his eyes, “What did you just do to me?”

                “Who?” Uraraka pressed a hand against her chest, “The little human girl? I asked if you wanted to live.”

                “I know how magic is cast. The words only matter to help the caster, but for powerful witches, the words are a disguise. The intent is the most important. What did you do to me?” He stumbled, pushing books off of the shelf, then stumbling to grab the books to keep them from opening. It was clear he was beginning to regret opening the book that concealed Todoroki’s older brother.

                Uraraka laughed, it felt uncharacteristic as a fake-sounding laugh she couldn’t stop was pulled from her throat before kneeling next to him, picking up the rest of the books, “My parents are human. I’ve been a human my whole life. Do you think that someone who recently started discovering powers that make her sick and only the supernatural community a couple of months ago knows that?” She leaned down towards him, trying to ignore the shaking of the house and the thoughts of the house was going to fall apart if Todoroki and his brother didn’t light it up in flames first. She leaned down towards him, “I told you I didn’t care what you’re imprisoned for, I freed you, I let you go without hunting to put you back. And this is how you repay me?” She slid a book closer to her, “By threatening my life?”

                “I didn’t,”

                “Looks quite like it.”

                The man laid on the floor, staring onto the shelves likely pretending to read the labels, “I was imprisoned for betrayal. A false imprisonment. But I’ve been so angry for so long, that I decided to do what people believed I was. A traitor. A traitor to a dear friend. Even though I was the one who was the victim.” Self-pity radiated in his eyes, wallowing like a lake.

                “And yet when you found yourself with new people, new possible friends, and new opportunities, you still chose to betray us.”

                “Didn’t you? Wouldn’t you of?”

                Uraraka glanced towards the entrance where echoes of the fight moved towards the living room, she hadn’t walked in his shoes, she hadn’t known what this person had been through and she hadn’t lived through they amount of time they had remained Imprisoned falsely. She needed to answer honestly, there was no answer that would collide with the decisions this person had chosen to make. Including deciding to come back here at one final moment. Honestly, from the perspective of the other person, she had betrayed their trust by trying to control them. But it was to save her own life. At what point would she consider darker terminology in an attempt to save her own life? Her eyes lingered towards Katsuki’s shadow throwing a punch. Where would she draw the line?

                Uraraka glanced towards the man laying on the floor, pity and regret swelling within her, “You’re right. I am sorry. I’ve considered what I would do if I was pushed into a corner but never really pushed into a corner. It’s unfair of me to make such demands.” Uraraka moved standing up, but even so, she was still a tenant of this house, she would fight to keep it safe, “I recommend you either run or hide. If the house determines it likes you, it will hide you. Now go.” She whispered, shuffling through the desk, there needed to be a weapon in here. Something that was absolutely not cursed. Uraraka glanced down towards the sword under the desk. Guess possible cursed object and a curse to deal with later was better than dying now. “Stay hidden.” She whispered, darting into the hall with only the sounds of a fight and her instincts to follow. Uraraka skidded down the hall, torch marks lining the halls as though to show her the way. She had to break up the fight. She had to do something. Not that she knew how, but trying was better than what she had been doing all night. A decision had to be made. Uraraka glanced towards the man, Todoroki’s older brother. His book had likely been lying on Todoroki’s desk as a plea for help in the situation they were already in. A desperate final plea for help from his family. A plea he had decided he wouldn’t even get the chance to voice. And he was right. The minute that man was out of the book they all knew he was dangerous.

                Uraraka darting in the room where the sound of the fighting was coming from, flames licked the floor daring to become the new carpeting. Uraraka took a breath, willing as much force as she could into her hands, begging it to come into existence from its confines, she steadied her feet, keep a close eye on them, desire and intent where what made magic work. She forced the three of them to opposite sides of the room, “Please listen for a moment! We need your help!”

                Dabi laughed, throwing his head back against the wall, “Of course you do, after so many years someone would want to rely on someone like me?”

                “I know you were in the prison world for a reason. But that book has always been near or on the desk, it’s clear Todoroki was constantly thinking about you. Please-“

                Laughter echoed from this man, “If he really cared he would’ve let me out, but then he would’ve also been considered a fool.”

                Uraraka could feel herself letting up, she wasn’t ready to control all of this power and she didn’t have a medium like Seraphina had previously suggested she get. To pull magic from another being seemed preposterous, if the other mediums were capable of providing her more magic power and it hurt to take her own magic power from herself she didn’t want to draw magic power from something else without knowing how it would hurt or how it would feel for that medium. She didn’t want to destroy anything for her own intentions. The beads glowed on her wrist, likely reaching their limit, but she didn’t want to die either. It was as though winds were blowing against her threatening to suffocate her as she attempted to keep the three of them apart, she let up on Katsuki and Todoroki letting their feet hit the floor, beginning to usher more power towards Dabi who wasn’t calming down. It was unstable and weakening but at least she would be able to buy them enough time to figure out what their next move should be. The power buzzed in her hands, she felt weak, it was as though her bones were hollow but she knew that was only exhaustion.

                A hand wrapped around her wrist, “Use me.” The man with the blue hair glared behind himself as though something was there, and the action wasn’t in the room he had approached.

                “I don’t know what will happen to you if I use you as a medium. And what if I only get one choice?”

                “It’ll hurt, but we’ll live,” He paused, glancing towards her, “And it’s not unheard of to change someone’s medium, young witches tend to pick something too powerful for them to handle and have to change their medium. Why do you think the Witch of the Forrest is one of few who uses the moon even though it’s such a powerful tool?”

                “Her power can hold up to it.”

                “Remember, your body is the tool for the magic, the one that holds it all, if the medium doesn’t match it doesn’t work. It’s like making sure you use the right tools for the right projects. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to use different tools for the wrong object, just hard. So, use me.”

                Uraraka swallowed, nodding, she had little options currently and this was the fastest and easiest option. She needed to, “I’m sorry. When we’re done, can you tell me your name and your story?”

                The man laughed, “It’s been a very long time since anyone wanted to listen to me. I’m out on my luck right now. But if you still feel like it after this, I’ll be glad to tell you.”

                She took a breath, removing her beads and aiming for Dabi, “Listen to me.”

                He scoffed, a hand reaching back towards her, “How about no?”

                Flames ran through his arm, running along his sleeves but backward before flames echoed through the air towards her, Uraraka took the man’s wrist siphoning as much magic as she could muster from him, pushing the flames back, and extinguishing them. Smoke wavered diffusing towards the ceiling before disappearing from visible sight.

                Her breath felt unsteady and cold, the man dropping to her feet, as she leaned down kneeling on the floor trying to steady her breaths. Katsuki already next to her and Todoroki darting towards his older brother. Dabi skillfully dodging each of his flaming punches, laughter and excitement echoing in his eyes. From the wild smile, it was clear that Dabi had been through a lot worse than they had ever faced. He would’ve been an amazing ally to have on their team for what they were fighting. And a horrible enemy. They would have to take the loss.  

                “Are you okay?”

                Uraraka glanced towards Katsuki, his image was doubling, but Todoroki needed him more right now, she couldn’t let him see how weak she had become. And the fact she was sure she was borderline killing the man near her, if she didn’t stop pulling magic from him soon, he’d be dead, but if she didn’t pull anymore, she would die too. She didn’t have to be an expert in magic to know that her current being was surviving on magic.

                “I’m fine, go help Todoroki.”

                Katsuki sighed, swinging his jacket around her shoulders and bracing her against a wall, “Fine my ass, hurry up and recover.”  He growled before charging out of the room towards Todoroki.

The man coughed, his blue hair spreading throughout the room. He had just obtained his freedom. He was going to die because of her, “It seems you’ve been considered cursed by the gods of this world,” Uraraka sighed, a sort of instinct taking over almost as if she wanted to take this man’s head in her lap, the one that seemed to have a bad hand from the very beginning of life, “If you believe in that sort of thing.”

                A soft, fake laugh came from him, “If I believe in that sort of thing, while I look right at one.” He rolled his head away from her, “You know if I had to die at least I did it through making a decision for myself.”

                Uraraka shook her head, at the very least she could give him a brief conversation before his death, something to distract him, if only for a little while, she didn’t mean to drain him dry, “I can only handle brief telekinesis, it’s not something only a god of this world can do.”

                Another fake laugh, faint and hollow as he laid on the floor, seeming to have already given up before trying, “True, but do you know why Gods and Goddesses of this area have so many shrines?”

                “Why?”

                “It’s because the more followers they have the more powerful they become.”

                “Like a religion?”

                “Sort of. It depends on how deeply those people believe in them. So, you may only be able to do such a thing right now because of the few people that believe in you, your family, your friends.”

                “So, like the power of friendship?” Uraraka laughed, such a concept was unrealistic, especially in these circumstances. She had been seeing or at the very least knowing that the bodies were piling up, increasing tremendously for the last couple of days, and she was supposed to believe that the power of friendship would fix everything?

                 “Something like that. The power of absolute adoration, one could call it, the power to trust that if you wanted to, you could handle it. You’re going to be ridiculously powerful….if you live long enough.”

                It was Uraraka’s turn to laugh, the house shook as she glanced towards the ruckus in the hall, “I don’t plan on starting any weird religion to increase my power any time soon. I was considering living my life normally after all of this.”

                “This is normal. You just didn’t know it yet.” The man paused, “My name is Jericho, or at least that’s the name I just decided. Something suitable for your time.”

                “I’ve never met a Jericho.”

                “Not the point. You will be powerful.”

                “How do you know?”

                “Your main believers aren’t humans. They’re people who see you for who you really are. The most powerful people in the area are backing you up. It’s hard to believe but they believe in you more than you ever would know.”

                Uraraka turned, the flames radiating from the hall, Katsuki pushing Dabi back towards the exit, “I know. It’s a mutual feeling.”

                Katsuki was almost near the door, she needed to help. She lived here too, she couldn’t just hide.

                “He’ll burn for you if you don’t move.”

                Jericho didn’t need to say it, she was already pushing her way to her feet, the pink bracelet sparkling at the floor. She snatched it up, if it used magic to seal her own magic, she would be able to also siphon this for just enough power, “No!” She pulled him back, causing Katsuki to stumble back away from the door.

                “Are you crazy? I almost had him!” Katsuki snapped, his brilliant red eyes sparkling like rubies.

                “Are you trying to die?”

                Katsuki’s eyes lingered towards the door was he became quiet, he glanced towards her, “I’ll guard the door, go grab his prison.”

                “The book?”

                “Yeah, we’re going to jam him back into it. We’ve got too many problems to deal with him now.”

                Uraraka nodded, running to grab the book, shuffling through the books that laid across the ground, luckily she had started picking them up already, it would be terrible to release another person to go against them while trying to trap Dabi back into his book. Uraraka glanced, her hand moving towards the one at the center of the pile. She knew. It had to be this one. He had to go back into this book. She stumbled towards the hall, seeing Todoroki dodge a swing from Dabi but not getting so lucky as Dabi slammed an elbow into his back sending him spiraling towards the ground, rolling away before almost getting stomped on by Dabi. Katsuki angrily tapping his foot near the door, “I can’t just watch, drag him back in here! I’ll kick his ass!”

                “Stay there!” Todoroki panted, still rolling as Dabi released a series of attacks not letting up enough for Todoroki to manage to get to his feet, the yard already in flames. Uraraka darted past them, she couldn’t miss. There was only way not to miss. She had to get close to them. She had to guarantee that Dabi was back into the prison world he had come from.

                “Prison world you say?” Dabi shook his head, “How do you know that this world isn’t the prison world? Do you want to know what my world looked like? Just like this. It looked like our empty halls, our empty home, wondering if that monster would come out of any of the rooms at any moment. Wondering how he had so much time to be home to “help us” grow out powers. That man is a monster and yet you trapped me in there. I am so sick of running from monsters. I’m too old to be checking for the monster under my bed when I know the monster is the one living in my house.” Dabi snapped, another stomp halfway to Todoroki’s face.

                Uraraka pressed the book to Dabi’s back, “Get in there!” She commanded, the air around her swirling, magic intent surfacing from the plants, the trees, and anything else that could be considered the environment. The world was glowing. If she wasn’t so scared she would almost consider it beautiful.

                Dabi glanced down towards Todoroki, “You were hiding a trump card, after all, I’ll be back.” The windswept him into the book, his form disappearing. Uraraka snapped the book shut, falling to the ground, attempting to catch her breath. Small breaths weren’t enough, but it was all she could manage. It wasn’t enough, she needed more.  Uraraka found she was having a hard time taking more than a small breath, but it wasn’t enough. It felt as though it was all she could take in, but she needed more than she was capable of giving herself. She glanced towards Todoroki, blood running down his cheek, and marks of burns running along his arms, one of his arms dealing with the burns with the ice he was capable of generating.

                “Hurry up back in here with that wretched thing,” Katsuki shouted. Jericho stumbling out past him, “Where do you think you’re going?”

                “If my life has to end, I would like to be able to make a decision for myself.” Jericho stumbled out towards them.

                Water ran through her eyes as Todoroki looked towards her, still catching his own breath but clearly worrying about what was happening to her, “Uraraka?”

                Jericho sat in front of her, head bowed in an apology, “I’m sorry. You’re probably wondering what’s happening right now, you’re being overloaded with power. It’s a wonder you were able to draw magic from so many things. Or in fact, even realize that so many things were alive and filled with magic in such a moment.  I’ll fix it.” Jericho smiled, reaching for her head, something cracking inside her brain. It felt like a migraine. She almost wanted to puke. Yet suddenly it relieved itself, she felt better.

                “What did you just do?” Todoroki snapped reaching for Jericho’s arm.

                “I can breathe?”

                “I used the last of my magic to nullify the magic that wasn’t compatible with her body. I also gave her the last of my magic, it’s going to be my last moments anyway.”

                Uraraka glanced towards him, “But you said-“

                “I was already sick and weak when I was put into the prison world. It only bided my time. I’m sure now that I’ve had time to figure it out my friend was planning on coming back for me when they finally figured out what was wrong, but,” Jericho glanced out towards the city, lights overwhelming the horizon over the forest, “It’s been several centuries.”

                “You said you were going to explain your story.”

                “Or maybe not. It is, just my story after all.”

                Todoroki sat down, leaning against the ground, “You said you gave her some of your magic? What are you?”

                Jericho shrugged, “A warlock maybe? Maybe something else. I specialized in wind magic, so maybe that will help this little psychic with her telekinesis for now.” Jericho glanced back at her, “Grow strong. There are answers you want to find, and you’re going to have to fight for them.”

                “Wait, I’ll give you your magic back, we’ll get you to a hospital.”

                “Guess you weren’t bluffing when you said you hadn’t known about magic for long. A hospital can’t help me. I’ll die and they’ll all be baffled why such a healthy man just died.” He paused, laughing, “I wonder if in the next life it’ll be better.”

                “I’m sure it will.” Uraraka smiled.

                The man was then silent.

                Uraraka swallowed, gently setting his head down before moving inside and coming back outside with a shovel. She was sure he wasn’t the first one to buried in this yard. He likely wouldn’t be the last. Likely it would be one of the three of them that would be buried in the yard. Uraraka swallowed, digging the hole deeper and deeper, she wondered if this place had a church grim. Someone or something to lead Jericho to where he belonged. She hadn’t known Jericho for a long, so she wasn’t sure he’d find anywhere good. Or if he’d end up where he belonged. But she just had to hope the good Jericho had done in their lives outweighed the bad. She dug, distracting herself with mundane thoughts. She wondered if the church grim was a traditional dog, how many bodies were actually buried around this house, or maybe the church grim was one of the supernatural creatures that had attempted to attack Todoroki when he first moved in? How had she wound up in such a textbook scary place without a feeling of foreboding? Even a non-psychically inclined human would’ve darted. Did the church grim still come around even if this wasn’t officially a graveyard?

                Uraraka sighed, stumbling back into the house, glancing between the two of them. They knew this was something she had to do herself. Knowing full well that suggesting shoving Jericho back into his prison world until he felt better wasn’t going to help since whatever he was suffering from couldn’t be solved or delayed from that either. Or maybe it was a bluff. A bluff to make her feel better about stealing all of his magic power so she could live. She had committed to a selfish decision.

                She glanced towards Katsuki, her voice cracking as she entered the doorway, “I killed him.”

                Katsuki glanced towards the floor, anger in his eyes, “You didn’t kill him.”

                “I stole all of his magic, he was probably a being that needed that to live, how else am I supposed to interpret that?” Tears were welling to her eyes, she didn’t want to let them as her voice shook. She wanted to protect the residence of this household. But how was she supposed to do that? She had just killed a man who had offered them help twice. How could she protect them if she killed anyone who would help them?

                Katsuki growled, pulling a jacket from the wall, “You didn’t kill him. You gave him the opportunity to choose how he died. He knew there was no cure, for a supernatural most of us know we’ll only go by being murdered. He was lucky. Remember his face, it was peaceful. It was probably the first time in ages he realized he could’ve had as much of a mundane death as being offered to him. He may be dead, but you saved him.”

                “It doesn’t feel like that.”

                “And that’s alright.” Katsuki threw the jacket around her, “I’ll go start a bath, go find Todoroki he’ll grab you something to eat from the kitchen.”

                Uraraka wiped her eyes, “I don’t want either of you to hear or smell me crying, it’s not fair”

                “I’ll make the bath scented. Go get something to eat.”

                Uraraka nodded stumbling to the kitchen, where Todoroki stood staring out the window, “I’m sorry.” It was her fault. She had let Jericho out. If she had never let Jericho out, Dabi wouldn’t have gotten out.

                “No, I should’ve kept that book long locked up. Letting someone who’s been going through mental torture on repeat just by being in a house isn’t the best idea to seek help. No one will find that book again.”

                Todoroki slipped a hot chocolate mug into her hands.

                “Does it get easier?”

                “No, when it gets easier is when you should start worrying if your sanity is still in-tact.” His eyes not leaving the window where she had buried Jericho, thoughts running through her head as she cried, wearing herself out as she buried him. Likely considering all the others that had to be buried out there. Todoroki took a swig of his own drink, “Probably could go out there and talk to him if he chooses to stay later.”

                “Like a ghost?”

                “He is made of magic….he’s also the first one buried out there.”

                Uraraka glanced towards her hands. How had she come to the conclusion that they were out killing people? That was so- wait hadn’t they told her they were killers previously?

                “The bodies of the ones that attacked our home or serial killers, I never buried them, I burnt them to ashes and let them drift in the air. Jericho’s just the first buried out there. The special ability of a church grim is they can come and go; it’s how they can guide souls to the place they need to go.” Todoroki took a swing, his face still acknowledging the fact that someone who could’ve helped them was dead and that was a problem, that this wasn’t inherently a good thing.

                Uraraka set the drink down in the sink, Todoroki beginning to do the dishes, “He’ll come and go as he feels like it. It’ll be hard to understand for a while, but to a supernatural, being able to choose their death. Something that’s not going to hurt and knowing you aren’t going to be murdered? It’s a relief.”

                Uraraka nodded, grabbing a towel and her pajamas moving to the bathroom, and sinking into the water. Strawberry scented. She embraced the warmth, letting her mind wander, wondering where the two of them even got strawberry scented bubble bath. It was an unusual item for a household that was just men to have. Tears dripped into the bubble bath. She wanted to help people. She wanted to protect her friends and family. But what would it cost? She knew what it would cost. Her morals. She knew from the moment the pieces started piecing themselves together. By the time they had their answers, they would have blood on their hands and more enemies. She understood what Todoroki meant by explaining that what she had done to Jericho was a mercy, giving him the ability to choose. The cycle of killing had begun against their wishes, and it wouldn’t stop. By the end of this her morals would remain in the same place this bathwater would, down the drain. And so she sobbed, letting her brain sort out how far would she push herself over the line in the name of defending herself and keeping the others around her safe.   

[ddaengyoonmin]

Chapter 7

Pairing: Jungkook x reader, Taehyung x reader, Jimin x reader  eventual Ot7 x reader in later chapters

Genre: fluff, angst, smut in later chapters

Theme: Based kinda on sword art online a lot of similar ideas and themes kinda combining the idea of them trapped in the game, but the world is closer to ALFheim online

Warnings: kidnapping? Light mature content. Swearing

Word count: 3k+

Next -> Chapter 8 

-----------------------------------

When Jungkook returned he had a serious expression placed on his face.  “Okay, group meeting.”

Taehyung and yourself were seated on the bed facing Jungkook. Jimin was standing next to the bed on your side.  The three of you curious as to why your leader had called a group meeting, wondering what he had found out from chatting with other parties.

“These may just be rumors, but a few players are convinced that the boss for this floor is a little ways out from this town. Someone stumbled across a cave this morning while out on a quest.” He sucked in a deep breath “A party nearby heard the screams but only made it there just in time to watch his HP hit zero.  They flew away back to town, too scared to attempt it themselves but they figured it’d be for the good of everyone to spread the news.”

Your hand clapped over your mouth, not being able to imagine having to witness something so terrible.  You knew people had died in the game from the headsets being removed, but this was the first you’d heard of someone dying from an in game enemy.  

Jungkook continued.  “I want to try and take it on.  Our levels are higher than most everyone here, and I think if we upgrade our spells a bit we shouldn’t have a problem with it”

Your eyes widened and you snapped your head towards Taehyung to see what he thought of Jungkook's daring suggestion.  

Tae’s face was scrunched in thought. “You really think we can? Y/N is still pretty weak”

“I’m not weak!” you shot out, not really sure why you thought to defend yourself at his remark.  He was right, even Chimchim was still 4 levels ahead of you. But, you didn’t want to be thought of as someone who can’t pull their weight in the party.  If the only way out of this hell of a game was to get to the 100th floor you wanted to do everything you could to help.  To save not just yourself but the thousands of innocent people struggling to stay alive, if this was something your team could do, and Jungkook believed in you, you wanted to try.

Jungkook nodded confirming that these were his honest thoughts.  “Y/N is necessary.  She's the only one with healing spells.  I’m going to have her stay back and observe us while we fight.  If any of us get lower than half health she’s going to try and heal us from as safe of a distance as possible.”

Taehyung nodded understanding, he seemed to approve of this plan.

“I want to help out any way I can, I’m down for that plan, it’s smart” you gently smiled at Jungkook.

Yet he avoided looking at you, continuing to direct his gaze to Taehyung.  “There's one more thing I heard, I think it's best if you and me talked privately about this one” he spoke to the green haired man.

Jimin and you exchanged confused looks, why were the two of you being left out of something? What had he heard?

Taehyung and Jungkook stepped out of the room into the hall.  Jimin went and laid down on the bed, scrolling through the spell shop on his screen and humming to himself.  Your curiosity had the better of you though.  You quietly tiptoed to the door with an ear pressed against it, trying to make out some of Tae and Jungkook’s secretive conversation.  Jimin let out a hushed chuckle when he saw what you were doing.

You surprisingly were able to hear a lot of what was being said.

“Wait, Killing other players? For their loot? What kind of evil person would do something like that. I take back everything I said to y/n about your morality. That’s insane.”

“Wait, what the fuck were saying about me Tae? Ugh, nevermind.  You’re an ass.  We’ll discuss that later.  Yes, there are a few different parties resorting to this strategy now to stay alive and ahead in the game.  It's unbelievable, but two people from separate parties told me they and their traveling companions had witnessed it on their travels. They had heard one of the strategies they were using...was to send one member from their party as a solo player to join another party, usually posing as an unthreatening weak player, so that they can assess what kind of valuables the party has, and how to best take them out.  When they aren’t expecting it and vulnerable the original party comes in and takes them all out…”

You heard a loud gasp you asume was Taehyung.  “You don’t think…”

“That’s exactly what I think.  And that's why I didn’t want to say this in front of him, we need to keep a extra close eye on him, if you see him sneaking off on his own anywhere let me know immediately”

Now it’s your turn to gasp, pulling yourself quickly from the door and stumbling back.  You twisted yourself around staring wide eyed at Jimin.  He wouldn’t, he couldn’t, he’s strange...but hes no murderer.  But there was the other night, he disappeared and was obviously hiding something.  Even today he didn’t collect any items for himself, could it be he didn’t mind  because he just planned on ending up with them later?

Jimin sat up and stiffened at your actions, “What is it?” He whispered.  You shook your head, feeling some denial, and also not wanting to alert Jimin that there was suspicion of his motives in joining your group.

“It’s nothing Jimin” you had to try and think of an excuse for your worried expression “They just were talking about something personal that I shouldn’t have heard…”

Jimin tilted his head up in understanding “Ah, talking about wanting to team up and fuck you probably huh?” he joked.

Joke or not, your face turned bright red immediately.  “JIMIN!” you shouted, causing the catlike man to roll around on the bed in laughter pointing at your shocked expression

“Oh I’m so right aren’t I, I called it” he giggled through forming tears in his eyes while holding his aching stomach.  He really seemed to be amusing himself.  You on the other hand were less than amused and you ran over and smacked him hard on the shoulder.  

“Don’t say such dirty things!” you snapped.

Upon hearing your loud shouts Taehyung and Jungkook rushed into the room with worried expressions, the feeling probably heightened due to what you had just heard them discussing.  Relief flooding through them as they saw Jimin laughing and you unharmed.

“Y/N Can you come with me, I need to talk to you alone as well”

Well that had you taken aback.  The whole day Jungkook had been avoiding you and now he wants to be alone with you?

You agreed and followed him out the door leaving Taehyung in the room with Jimin.  

“So what's up?” You looked at him curiously

“Sorry to make you feel left out a second ago, I didn’t want to leave Jimin alone...I have some suspicions about him I need to talk to you about, I know you’ve grown fond of him so please don’t get mad” He pursed his lips looking slightly upset.

“I think I already know…” you mumbled “I kinda was listening through the door…” you admitted with a hint of embarrassment in your tone.

“Oh,” His eyes narrowed “Did you tell him?” he was referring to Jimin.  Was he really worrying that you’d out Jungkook to Jimin about his suspicions?  

“I’ve never been one to tell another’s secret if I could help it” you said with a shrug “so  no, If you’re right it's probably best he doesn’t know, If you’re wrong it would just hurt his feelings to think that you would suspect him like that”

Jungkook grinned widely “That's smart thinking, thanks.”  he trailed his fingers through his jet black hair.

That smile. That habit that you found so attractive.  You were reminded of the first time that you had met him, meeting that handsome man that saved you in your time of need, he had made your heart beat fast.  Your heart now was beating so fast you felt it would grow its own wings and fly right out of your chest.  He was close. Only about a foot away from you and his eyes were gently resting on you, gaze not leaving your face.

“We haven’t been alone since before…” Jungkook suddenly stuttered. He seemed softer, not like Leader Jungkook, closer to the player you’d met in the field your first day.

“Yeah...you’re right”

He stepped even closer to you.  A chill ran through your body, making your blood feel cold, or on fire, you couldn’t really tell the difference.  Reminded again of when he whispered in your ear when first meeting you.  He was so close, about to whisper in your ear again.  You felt his warm breath tickle the side of your face.  You tried to gulp silently but he may have heard since you could hear a breathy chuckle leave his lips.

“You know I’m really disappointed we didn’t get that date” he quietly spoke

You felt warmth in your cheeks and you were sure that you were blushing.  

“Me too, I had been thinking about that...I wondered if you forgot” you whispered

He pulled back with a serious look on his face, he put a hand on your shoulder.  

“Really?” cocking his head to the side slightly. “You think I’d forget that I had to miss out on potentially the best date ever, with the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met?”  His voice light and flirtatious, you couldn’t help but melt at his words.  

“I just felt like, we had so much to worry about...you had too much to worry about to be concerned with things like that anymore”  you stuttered, unable to speak smoothly as his intense gaze and flirting was making you shy, and your knees weak.

You moved yourself to lean against the wall of the hallway, that way less of a chance you’d fall if Jungkook continued on making you feel weak this way. You had to admit to yourself that you yourself had in a way forgotten about the initial feelings you’d had for Jungkook.  With this life and death game you were in it seemed like such a trivial thing to care about.  But now, with him so close, and alone with you, those feelings had a chance to surface again.  He was a stunningly attractive man, his voice was smooth like melted butter and when he looked at you like he was right now, it felt like you and him were the only people in the world.

Jungkook sighed, and lifted your chin up to him with careful fingers.

“I agree that there are big things to be concerned about, I’m aware of the dangers, and we’ve all needed to focus on those things to survive.  But, I feel I’ve been neglecting some other things that are essential for survival.  What's the point of staying alive if you aren’t living.  You know what I mean?”

His hand moved from your chin to holding the side of your head, thumb brushing against your cheek softly.  

He spoke again, “At first I thought this should all wait until we get out of the game, but now...I feel like we have no idea how long we’ll be here.  So why should we deprive ourselves of some of the joy’s that still can exist here?”

You let out a small gasp as his hand that was not on your face had found a place to rest on your hip.  He was now so near to you that you felt yourself try and retreat in nervousness, only to have your back be met with the wall you had been leaning on.

“I can tell how I make you feel. You’re nervous around me, and you watch me all the time. If I’m wrong let me know, but If I’m right…”  He leaned in, his lips only inches from yours.  He stopped, his dark eyes flicking back and forth between your lips and your eyes.  

You nodded ever so slightly and gasped out a “Yes Jungkook.” he was right. Why deprive yourself of some of the good things you could still do in this world.  You could die tomorrow in this game or god forbid he could...and you realized you don’t want to waste this time you had right now.  This was only a game, but these feelings you had weren’t a product of some digital creation.  You wanted him, and he wanted you.  

At your words Jungkook’s lips fell onto yours.  His hand wandering from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you close into him.  His lips were so soft and warm, and kissing him felt like heaven.  You felt yourself moan into his lips as his kissing got more desperate. At your noise he pulled back slightly “Fuck. y/n. You’re so perfect” he dove back in, this time more needy and much quicker.  His hand that was on your hips started to pull you into him so that you were pressed fully against his body.

 His tongue started to lightly flick at your lips requesting entrance, and you were more than happy to allow his tongue to intertwine with your own.  With that he inched forward pressing you between the wall and his body, his hand now squeezing your waist.  It was his turn to let out a soft gruff moan. “Damn I wish we had the room to ourselves” he muttered, and pulled away from you.  “I gotta stop. You’re getting me way too worked up for your own good” he smirked and winked at you. You now notice a small tent in his pants where he’d been pressed against you.

You pouted and gave him puppy dog eyes.

“Fuck, don’t do that” He shook his head and gave you a quick kiss on the nose. “Don’t worry.  I promise it  won’t be the last time this happens”

He motioned for you to go back to the room.  “I’ll be in shortly” he said with a slightly embarrassed smile.  “I gotta let this situation here go down”

You giggled at the mention of his ‘situation’  

“I wish I could help” you said playfully

You swore you heard a low growl leave his lips.  “Me too...one day”

-----------------------------------------------------

It had been over a week now since the day that you’d heard Jungkook’s suspicions of Jimin.  Nothing else had happened to cause any worry so you were starting to feel like maybe the suspicions was all for nothing.

The boss that was rumored to have been found still hadn’t been discovered.  There were many parties all searching for it, Jungkook always took the time to chat with other groups of players at the end of each day for any updates on its location but no one had any luck yet.  

You all had leveled up significantly and you’d added many spells into your collection.  ‘Hurricane’ was your recent favorite addition, by putting your hands together you could form a large ball of fast moving water to shoot at any target.  Taehyung had improved on his paralyzing spells and added sleep spells into his collection.  Jungkook had been excited over leveling up his sneaking skills, he could practically make himself invisible at this point.

Mood wise, Jungkook seemed to have gotten over the fight a week prior, it helped that Jimin had been holding himself back when it came to you.

You hadn’t gotten another chance to be alone with him again since that night, you’d tried a few times but Taehyung always seemed to have some sixth sense for when you and Jungkook would get close to being able to kiss again.  He would pop up out of nowhere and seem to ruin the moment as if he knew there was something up between the two of you.

That night when you were all in bed, satisfied with your progress for the day, a familiar noise startled you out of your sleep.

Jimin was leaving again.

This time you’d follow him.  You silently crept out of your bed on the floor, debated on waking up Jungkook but decided on letting him rest.

You tiptoed down the hall, trying to scope out where Jimin could’ve snuck off to.  Once you reached the lobby and found it empty you realized that the door out of the inn had just swung shut.  So out you went.

You saw the silhouette of Jimin walking around to the alleyway between the inn and the building next to it.  Wishing you had Jungkook's sneak skills you tried your best to stay hidden as you crept, holding yourself close to the wall and peeking your head around the corner.

There he was.  With two others.  You tried your best to make out their whispering, but to no avail.  You couldn't really see the others, the glow of their screens gave little light to their faces.  One seemed to have red wings, and the other had orange wings and large, possibly fox like ears sticking out from on top of his head.

Suddenly they stopped conversing and all whipped around to your direction. ‘Shit’ you thought in a panic, whipping your head around and trying to hurry back inside before they saw you.

Before you could reach the door to the inn a Large hand gripped your arm.  “Uh uh. I don’t think so”  A gruff voice said.

You tried to shake yourself loose “Let go of me!” you cried out.  

The second one of Jimin’s mysterious companions grabbed your other arm, dragging you away from the door. “Not until we explain ourselves”

The two of them dragged you far, and it was so dark you could barely see where you were going.  Jimin trailed behind silently. You felt betrayed and hurt that the man that had spent so much time with you, that you had saved and stood up for so many times was letting this happen to you.

They tossed you to the ground once you had reached another alleyway many buildings down from the inn.  You yelped out in pain as you hit the stones below. “Please don't kill me.  I’ll give you all my items” you choked out.

[the-pan-ace-writings]

Chapter 6 The start of a Fire

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   The sun had just started to warm the sky when Riona moved off the couch in the room and started to collect her armor and dried clothes from the restroom. She cleaned up Dogmeat as best she could without completely soaking him and sent him to wake up MacCready. 

   “Hey! Dog! Get off!” She heard MacCready screeching and caught him fumbling to his feet as she entered the room. 

   “Folks round’ here said there was a detective in town, Mr. Valentine a cross town” Riona was finishing attaching her armor as she spoke, MacCready just grinned and collected his items Dogmeat following at his heels as they all made it down to the city center. It took them a small bit of wandering till they found the neon pointing down a narrow alley. 

   She heard rustling around and furniture being scattered about, she pressed her ear to the door and heard a woman in a frantic panic. She glanced over at MacCready, drawing her sword and stepping into the small office. 

   What she found was a woman tearing the place apart like a chicken without her head, but no one else was present in the room.

   “Uh ma’am, everything okay?” Riona lowered her sword and pushed the muzzle of MacCready's Rifle as he entered the office behind her. The woman startled sharply moving to look at them making a quick judgement. 

   “You gotta help me, my Boss, the detective is missing. He's working a case on a kidnapping case, Skinny Malone’s gang took a young woman he tracked the gang to park street station, there's an old vault down there that they use as a base. I told Nick he was walking into a trap, but he just smiled and walked out the door like he always does” she was clearly distressed and near tears as she was speaking, Riona didn't even think twice about agreeing to help her find the detective, Riona probably needed this man as much as this woman did. 

   “Doll, I'll find him, but why don't you tell me your name so I can tell him who sent me?” Riona put her sword back on her hip and tried not to look as intimidating, MacCready grumbled about having just been nearby and why we needed to help him, Dogmeat shoved his weight into the sniper causing him to stumble. 

   The woman blinked at her, seemingly surprised at how quickly Riona accepted, she was silent. “Ma’am I'm Riona this is MacCready” she pointed at them both before looking back at her unexpectedly. 

   “I'm Ellie, I'm his secretary, I would come with you but someones gotta clean up this mess.” She turned to start cleaning up the office before she tossed some stimpacks their way. “Don't you go dying out there too, bring him back” 

   “Well get ol’ Nicky back for you” MacCready grumbled behind her and started for the door, taking the stimpacks into his pack. Riona followed closely after him. 

   “Why don't you ever want to help people?” Riona asked, it was clear in her tone that she doesn't approve of his attitude. 

   “Why do you charity work?, I could help you find what you're looking for without trying to find Nick.” he tugged his cap down and started back towards the gateway of Diamond City.  

   “Because you don't look qualified to find people, and why are caps so important to you anyway? I'm already paying you and you get half of what we find.” 

   “Don't worry about it.” He sped up his pace, walking away from her. She scowled and moved in front of him, jabbing her finger into his chest forcing them to stop near the gate. 

   “Don't you dismiss me. I hired you, if you get in my way ill cut you lose and then your precious cap stream i'll’ be gone! This is too important for you to be an ass Cready’.” She stared at him.  He shook his head and almost stepped pass her before meeting her eyes again. 

   “I left someone behind and they need it.” his eyes darted away and he pulled his duster closer to him. “The vault is back near Goodneighbor” 

   Riona took the lead, pulling up the coordinates on her pipboy marking so she could follow it on the radar. It was silent between them on the way to the vault, Riona took the most direct way there and they had to clear out about three raider camps, they arrived and it was clear that Riona was in no good mood, tired and bloody from traveling there. MacCready was going to suggest trying to find a place to camp out before entering the vault but Riona just threw the doors open to the subway not even looking back. 

   The subway station was filled with Malone's goons, and traps. It took them a moment to make it through the first room as MacCready had to cover her as she disengaged some traps and collected the small parts. But once the room was safe for combat it was like a switch flipped in her mind, her sword hummed as she cut through the goons, she barreled through multiple men with sub machine guns, her armor absorbing what she wants to be able to avoid, and where she did neither she never even flinched.

   When she found the vault door she froze momentary, flashes of having to enter 111 and what happened there coming to mind. It was only a moment but MacCready noticed, stared worriedly at her and was about to say something when Riona shook her head and opened the door with her pipboy, anxiously waiting for the door to swing open where she could enter. 

   Once she crossed the threshold of the vault a shiver ran up her spine at the dimly lit and half built vault. But she was back in action as a triggerman rounded the  corner, shouting firing a pistol, it struck her shoulder plate. She snarled before taking the head off his shoulders with her sword, MacCready made a disgusted sound as warm blood splashed on her. 

   Through her wandering she found the overseer’s office, guarded by a dumb looking man who was yelling through the door at someone behind the door. Riona ducked back behind the corner and looked over at MacCready. 

   “Cready’ could you get that please.” her voice was falsely sweet, almost as if she took the nearing death of the guard humorous. He nodded and peaked around the corner, it took him seconds to silence the guard and go hear the thud as his body hit the ground. Riona clasped his shoulder before walking over the door. 

   “You the detective?” She called through the door. 

   “Yes, and who do I owe the honor too?” his voice was rough, she looked through the window and meet golden eyes, She started on the door trying to unlock it. 

   “Riona and MacCready, your secretary sent us. Said you've been missing a while.”

   “I've been cooped up in here for weeks. Turns out the runaway daughter I came here to find wasn't kidnapped. She's Skinny Malone's new flame, and she's got a mean streak.” He backed away from the door as it opened and they entered. “She got worried didn't she?” 

   “Yeah she was tearing the place apart when we got there.” MacCready reported to him, Dogmeat giving an affirmative boof. 

   “I assume you didn't just come out of the goodness of your heart now did you?” The more Riona observed the Detective it became obvious that he was one of the synths that everyone had been giving her warnings about, but he was dilapidated, wires and exposed metal apparent in holes and tears in his synthetic skin. 

   “I'm looking for someone. They were kidnapped by a mercenary, I need help and was told to find you when I was in town. Went an awful lot outta the way to get to you, so let's hurry this up before we get swarmed, i'm sure people heard all the commotion when we broke in” Riona didn't even wait for a response from Nick, she just walked out and towards the exit, she had noticed the floor plan of this vault was similar to the one she came from, though hers lacked an atrium, she supposed you didn't need a congregation area when all your guests are frozen dinners. 

When they entered the exit hall, they had been met with muzzles pointed at them. Riona quickly judged that that they were too close to even survive at this range. A fat man dressed like a stereotypical gangster from the ol’ time and a dame to match stood at front, with two triggermen guarding their back. 

   The man she guessed was skinny Malone spoke towards Nick, having ignored both her and MacCready, who had not yet entered the room. Riona tuned out the conversation between Nick and Malone, instead trying to figure out how likely they would make it out alive from the vault. She had lowered her hand to bury it in the scruff of Dogmeats neck when he walked up and stuck himself between her knees defensively. She could feel her undershirt starting to stick to her abdomen, she felt a sharp sting on her left and she realized her time of rampaging the vault she must been struck. She tried not to focus on it but it was near impossible after things had calmed down from the previous combat.   She only was brought back to the conversation when she heard a shrill voice interrupt, angrily. 

   “Skinny why don't we just kill em’, it be real easy” Her voice stuck a cord in Riona, and she felt her lip pull in a twitch and turned to look at her. She had a bat that she kept swinging and edging closer to her. Riona reared back when she drew her bat too close for comfort nearly buckling her knee doing so, Dogmeat let her lean on him. 

   “Nick, seems like talking isn't gonna work.” She snarled 

   “Why don't you shut up lady! Ain’t nobody talkin’ to ya.” 

   Riona raised her sword back up, the humming of the electrified blade filling the room as it went silent, she pulled up her bandana across her face. Skinny raised his gun towards her, the room erupted as MacCready’s rifle range across the room. Skinny dropped and his dame was next as the sword sunk into her gut, Nick had pulled out a pistol and took care of one of the triggermen, Cready’ caught the last one in the thigh and Riona had finished him off. 

   She pulled the bandanna down and let MacCready collect caps after she nodded to him. She fained helping him but instead took a moment to bind a crude bandage to her side that was slowly seeping more blood. She handed Cready some of the items she pulled off a trigger man and met his eyes. 

   “Thank you.” She pulled her attention back towards Nick. He wasn't in the best mood, clearly written on his face. 

   “I had that, there was no reason for that. Coulda bought that girl back home” 

   “Dames like that don't change, you were right she had a mean streak, I just took care of it for you.” He sighed and led them out of the vault. 

   “I suppose I owe you at least, no telling how long I would have been locked up in there. Once we get back to my office I can take your statement and help you find who you're looking for.” 

   “We gotta find a place to rest first, traveled all the way through from Diamond City to get here. We should stop back at Goodneighbor, it's not that far from here” MacCready spoke up after slinging his rifle on his shoulder and glazing over to Riona who was looking pale and started to sway. He made eye contact with her and she just shook her head, and straighten. He took point leading them to Goodneighbor, her and Nick had chatted for a little before she fell quiet trying to put all her energy into just making it back to Goodneighbor. 

   When they got the Riona had almost all of her weight on the oversized dog, MacCready stood nearby. Nick had gotten them two rooms as a thanks for saving him, and when he disappears into his room and they made it into theirs she nearly collapsed on the ground only to be caught by MacCready who helped her over to the couch. 

   “Was there a reason you felt the need to wait this long to take care of this? Or tell anyone?” Cready was stern as he addressed her, already digging around her ruck to find the small med kit she carried, he’d have to clean up the wound before using a stimpack on her to ensure infection wasn't trapped in. 

   “It wasn't safe, I was fine-” her nails dug into her palm as he poured the remaining liquor on to her wound, she could feel some of it soaking into the cushions under her adding to her discomfort which was soon was amplified to a near shout only covered by his hand over her mouth as he dug for the bullet lodged in her still. He was half sitting on her to keep her down and unmoving on the couch trying his best to be fast about it. 

   When he was done Riona was pale sweaty and out of breath, she was floating in between consciousness. A stimpack helped it close over a bit more when he was done cleaning the wound, and once it was bandaged he lifted her from the couch to move her over to the bed trying to slip her out of the rest of her armor. 

   Dogmeat had climbed up onto the bed and curled up next to her, and he couldn't tell if she was just compact or if the dog really was that large. Regardless he tucked her into the bed and looked down at her thoughtfully before shaking his head and leaving the room. 

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[bobbichoicesfeedback]

This is a response to the most recent Bloodbound chapter. It does not follow on from my previous post, I’m just writing a response at each stage to deal with it in my own way.

I feel like I should make clear, I still really enjoy Choices, and several other stories are brilliant, but the lack of agency in this book is really distressing

I’d finally managed to take a shower, more than a day after I’d clawed my way out of my own grave. I looked at my reflection, trying to see any sign of the transformation I’d been subjected to. On the outside, I looked exactly like the old Bobbi, but I could sense the pent-up power in my body, the heightened sensitivity, and the fundamental difference of my new life as a vampire.

I shuddered to myself. Ever since I’d discovered that Adrien was a vampire, barely a year ago, almost everything in my life had been focused around the hidden undead world lurking beneath the surface of New York City – and the whole world. I still remembered the day I’d come home to find my room-mate, my best friend, and unacknowledged crush, Lily Spencer dying in a pool of her own blood and had forced Adrien to Turn her so that she wouldn’t die.

That decision had been made in a panic, an emotional response to a traumatic situation. I’d felt guilty about it for a while, but Lily had assured me that she loved her new existence and abilities, plus it had enabled us to finally open up to each other. Sex with a vampire was incredible and, accordingly to Lily, it was even more amazing when you were a vampire.

I walked out of the bathroom and found a package on the bed. It was simply wrapped, and only had a small label saying, ‘From Lily.’

I looked inside and saw a set of red lingerie, attractive and sexy. Instead of gratitude or arousal, I simply felt nauseous. Even the name on the label made me recoil.

It was difficult to recognise these feelings in myself. I knew that Lily had been in a similar position to me when I had died, impaled on Jax’s sword, as I saved New York and the world from Gaius’ mad plan of a vampire kingdom, ruling over us humans like we were cattle. Lily’s position had been worse, I supposed, because we were falling for each other now.

Nevertheless, knowing that I had been dying and that Lily had Turned me was filling me with a growing sense of disgust and repulsion. I still remembered the pale body of the woman who had volunteered to provide my first meal, knowing that without Adrien’s supervision, I would have killed her, swallowing her blood greedily. It had been delicious, the perfect meal, beyond anything I’d experienced before my death and, at the time, I’d enjoyed it. Immediately afterwards, when the thirst had receded and my guilt set in, I hated myself and my new needs.

I’d told Lily I forgave her, the night she found me, savagely chasing humans in the park, a slave to my overpowering bloodlust. At the time, the look of distress on her face had made me say it automatically. I remembered how I’d felt and had told her what I wanted to hear at the time. Now, with the Unchained gone, and my… I mean, the human government beginning the process of repair, I finally had a chance to think clearly.

I had to admit to myself that the forgiveness had been a lie. The realisation felt like a pit in my stomach, almost as bad as the hunger I felt when I first awoke in my coffin. Lily had done precisely what I had done in her situation, but where she had forgiven me, I was finding that I couldn’t forgive her.

Why shouldn’t I forgive her, I was trying to persuade myself that the situations were identical, but the more I thought, the less true that seemed. When I’d found Lily dying, she didn’t know that vampires were real. I’d known for less than twenty-four hours. Although I hadn’t known it at the time, she’d been attacked to make me vulnerable, so that I could be used as a divining rod for Gaius and his telepathic crony. She’d been murdered just to get at me.

I, on the other hand, had known that I would probably die when I ran at Gaius. A human – even a Bloodkeeper – didn’t stand a chance against a vampire with the blood of the first in his veins. I was the only one who could even take that chance, though, because I was the only one he couldn’t control. I’d been lucky, managing to strike his heart with the wood of the sacred tree even as he impaled me on my friend’s sword.

We’d never explicitly talked about what I wanted, in the likely event that something happened to me, but I feel like I’d intimated my feelings – although I was willing to fight tooth and nail for my vampire friends, I didn’t want to join them in undeath. Maybe I hadn’t been clear enough, I was still looking for ways to persuade myself to forgive her. As I was dying in Lily’s arms, I’d tried to form the words ‘Please don’t Turn me,’ but my life faded before I could even frame the first syllable. The last thing I remembered was her voice saying…

“I lo…”

Tear drops fell onto my hands, I looked down and saw that I had crumpled the gift into a ball. The first time she’d said she loved me was as I died. Then, she forced me back to life, even if it took an inexplicably long time.

I dressed, quickly, in demure and drab clothes pointedly leaving the lingerie in the paper bag, and then walked into the apartment where the others had gathered to celebrate our eventual victory. Lily gave me a smouldering look, which I repaid with a bland smile. I decided I wasn’t going to break the news to her now; despite my feelings and the bubbling sense of resentment, we all deserved a moment to celebrate.

I was vaguely aware of a look of surprise on her face as I accepted a hug from Jax and Adrien but pushed all these emotions to the back of my mind. I passed through the kitchen and subtly dropped the package into the pedal bin: Lily wasn’t staying in this room overnight so there was little chance that she would see it before the cleaning staff went through the room.

The champagne tasted great, although not as good as the more gruesome drink I’d had yesterday, but I didn’t seem to get even tipsy the way I had before.

Successfully burying the turmoil inside for now, I chattered with the vampire council and Lily. I remained sat on the sofa next to Kamilah, so that Lily couldn’t sit next to me, but several times she reached over and caressed my arm or my neck. I shuddered with pleasure at the barest touch, just as Lily had told me, even the slightest bit of skin-to-skin contact felt better than anything I’d experienced before.

Lily seemed to notice my reactions, she smiled knowingly and continued to brush against me occasionally. I knew her well enough to realise that she was trying to tease me, tantalise me with a taste of what it felt like so that I’d be hungry for more. The trouble was, it was working. Jax and Adrien grinned; they’d both had feelings for me but had backed off when it became clear that my orientation was exclusively towards the fairer sex. Even so, they both seemed invested in my happiness, apparently my relationship with Lily was approved of. Interestingly, not in the way that most human men had viewed my relationships with women. Vampires seemed to have outgrown that particular hang-up.

Eventually, with only a few hours before dawn – when we were due to meet with the military’s representative – I stood up. All four of my companions turned to look at me, all with expressions that seemed to predict what I was about to say.

“Okay, I may not need to sleep quite as much as I used to,” I began, noticing that Lily was already shifting as though to stand up, “But I would like to get some, even if it’s out of habit. Good night, everyone.”

I’ll confess, I found a twisted little stab of enjoyment at the surprised look on Jax’s face, the practiced indifference on Kamilah’s, and the professionally confused on Adrien’s. I didn’t look at Lily until she called after me, sounding both hurt and baffled.

“Good night, Bobbi?”

“Yes, I’ll see you all in the morning,” I smiled, putting all of my effort into maintaining a neutral expression. It seemed to work, even Kamilah was looking a little puzzled now. Lily looked shocked, as though she genuinely hadn’t thought this was even a possibility.

They were all silent as I walked out of the room and down the corridor. On a whim, I entered the apartment next door to the one in which we’d been gathered instead of the bedroom I’d been given, focusing my abilities as Kamilah had taught me, to be as silent as possible. I undressed and curled up in the bed, listening as hard as I could.

“She just seems more distant,” I could just hear Lily’s voice. I closed my eyes and allowed my hearing to reach out, augmented by the bizarre psychic abilities of my Bloodkeeper heritage, “I mean, it looked like she was enjoying things, then she just left.”

“It’s a big change, Lil,” Jax’s voice was conciliatory, but still had an air of incredulity, “Give her time. You two are perfect together, she’ll come around.”

“Oh, Lily,” Adrien’s voice sounded like someone who thought he’d found a possible calming solution, “It looks like a present for you got knocked into the bin by mistake… oh… no, wait it’s from you…”

There was a moment of silence. Psychically, I could sense a feeling of betrayal and panic from Lily.

“Don’t read too much into this, Lily,” Kamilah’s voice finally spoke up, passive and emotionless, “As Jax said, this is a big change for Bobbi, even though she’s been around us for a while.”

“I’m going to talk to her,” Lily said, stubbornly, ignoring the sudden call of our friends advising her to wait. I heard her footsteps stamping across the room – deliberately, I knew how silently she could move now – and away down the corridor to my assigned apartment. I relaxed my senses and rolled onto my back, ready to sleep.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I nearly screamed, Kamilah had appeared in the room without a sound until she spoke, “I could hear your heartbeat. Not at first, you’re getting good at what I taught you, but when Lily left it sounded… relieved.”

“I just want to sleep, Kamilah,” I lied, turning my back on her. The mattress dipped as the ancient Egyptian beauty sat on the far side of the bed.

“If that was true, Bobbi,” she said, in that insufferable knowing way she sometimes had, “You would have gone back to your room and not hidden in here. Lily is very upset, she doesn’t understand why you’re rejecting her like this.”

“I know,” I grimaced, keeping my face hidden from her, “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I have an idea of what’s wrong,” Kamilah continued, “But I don’t want to jump to conclusions.”

“Kamilah,” I hesitated. The Queen was intelligent beyond belief, more than two-thousand years of life had allowed her to grow wiser than anyone I’ve met. She might work out the truth if I asked what was on my mind, “Is Adrien… When I first met you all, Adrien was working on a cure for his… for our condition…”

“He was,” Kamilah was suddenly using the blank, cadence-less voice that gave away nothing of what she was thinking. I could find out, but that would be an intrusion too far, “And you know how well it worked. Instead of making him human again, it made him closer to the First. Our experiences with Gaius and his brother should let you know how dangerous further research is.”

“Is there no chance?”

“Lily said that you forgave her,” suddenly Kamilah was accusatory, “Where has this resentment come from?”

“I was overwhelmed,” I sat up, glaring at Kamilah. I could feel my fangs again, which only made me feel angrier. Kamilah merely raised an exquisite eyebrow at me, “I thought I’d died, I woke up in a coffin, and I nearly killed an innocent woman. Then Lily tells me she Turned me, and we’re in the middle of a war, and the military is preparing to firebomb New York. I didn’t have time to think about my emotions!”

“So now you’ve had time?” she asked, sardonically, “And you hate us all?”

“Of course not,” I snarled back, her calm reaction worse than if she bared her fangs back at me, “You’ve all been my friends and I was in love with Lily.”

“Was?” that broke through her icy demeanour. I don’t think she was expected something that dramatic, “You don’t love her anymore?”

“I can’t,” I confessed, feeling tears start falling again. I was still furious, but the sadness was still there, “I’ve fought for all of you this past year, I wanted you all to be free of the threats… but I didn’t want to become a vampire. I… never wanted this… Do you know how hard it was not to ‘accidentally’ get caught in the ultra-violet grenade at the battle this evening?”

“That strongly?” Kamilah looked worried, but not surprised, “Jax was the only one who said you might not want this, but even he didn’t say no. He still feels guilty about the sword.”

“Kamilah,” I drew my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly, anger finally slipping away into the despair I’d been feeling since I woke up staring at that wooden lid, “I can’t live like this. You told me once that your life since you were Turned didn’t feel as real as your human life. I don’t want to live a half-life: I hated drinking that woman’s blood.”

“There’s a possibility,” Kamilah said, although I couldn’t read her tone or expression, “That something in you caused you to Turn, rather than Lily. Normally, the fact that you didn’t Turn would mean that it wasn’t her. Given what we know about your… strange heritage… it may be that you were destined to become a vampire whatever your lover did.”

“Does that make a difference, Kamilah?” I asked, “She still tried it. If she’d said no and buried me, then I Turned anyway, I could deal with that. It would be easier for me, I’d be able to hold her and talk to her about the problems. But no, she tried to force this on me, either way.”

“I’ve seen a lot of new vampires over the years,” Kamilah said, shifting into a lying position on her side. She was next to me, looking at me inscrutably, “Some, not many, attempt suicide. I’m going to stay here with you. They usually fail, and cause pain for everyone.

“Do you want… to relieve the feelings?” Kamilah reached out an exquisite hand, hovering just over my hips, “It was obvious that Lily was exciting you.”

“I want to.” I said, flatly, finally lying back down. My body screamed at me as I rejected this seductive offer. Kamilah’s deep brown eyes reflected the red glow in mine and I looked down, “I really want to. But I won’t. If you have to stay, promise me you won’t talk to Lily about this. She deserves to hear it from me…”

I woke up. Kamilah was asleep next to me, still fully clothed. Why was I awake, it had only been an hour or so? Suddenly, there was a voice in my head, calling me forth. It was impossible to resist, when this sweet voice gave an instruction, I was bound to obey… My slow-beating heart sank in my chest as I pulled on some clothes and began to walk out of the room. Kamilah didn’t wake as I left.

This did not bode well for the future…

[cantusecho-archive]

(Episode 9.

“I think I’m cursed.”

First of all, the fact that the last episode ended with the credits showing Hibiki and Miku throughout the seasons was already bad enough. But then in the beginning of this episode, straight out the gate, they do the same thing. Except, they have Hibiki giving a monologue over it, her saying how they’re best friends that knew each other for years. 

They get into arguments but then make up. She thought things would always be like that. But---

And then Hibiki turns around and basically screams for Miku not to leave her and I’m just skndgnldhfjlg.

One thing I will say I like about this scenario is that it’s really setting up for Hibiki to feel what Miku has felt whenever she went on missions. I’d imagine Miku feeling alone while she was gone, always worrying about her. Now yes, Miku has gotten better, and it shows in GX, but that worry never fully goes away. But what this sets up for Hibiki is for her to see it from Miku’s point of view, albeit in a worse scenario kinda.

Again, in Kimi Dake Ni, Hibiki admits that she didn’t realize Miku’s tears unless she was in trouble. She didn’t see them when she was fine and “safe” back at home. So, for Hibiki to feel that sense of worry/panic on a whole new level, not knowing where Miku is or what’s going to happen, is something that’s new (and something I’ve wanted to explore honestly AHA).

Like, it probably sounds terrible of me to say that, but having Hibiki experience that pain could very well not make her take things for granted. Not saying she has but it puts her thinking in a very different perspective where she considers more options and not just think everything is fine simply because someone isn’t on the front lines. I probably don’t make much sense, but I mean this on a positive note for Hibiki’s character.

MOVING ON THOUGH;

So next scene is Hibiki there with her dad in his apartment. Yes, I am still really glad that he’s in his own individual apartment, as simple as that may sound. Lol. Hibiki admits that she was afraid and didn’t know what to do after all that happened with Miku so she ran...and ended up seeing her dad (plus she’s under house arrest for using Amalgam lol). Hibiki’s comment is reminiscent of how she used to run away from her problems all the time, similar to Akira (as to why he makes this comment).

But Hibiki says it’s because he’s her dad. His expression here was interesting since instead of smiling, he actually frowns. This kinda comes later so I’ll wait until then (I’ll also wait until the end before stating my thoughts on Hibiki and her dad). He offers to be a listening ear to her problems, which makes Hibiki pleased.

LOOK AT HER SMILE OKAY. It’s a small one but...ffff. So Hibiki ends up recapping what happened that night.

To put it simply, Hibiki and the others failed, despite their efforts. Miku is now being used as the vessel for Shem-Ha, who seems to be annoyed by the moon as well. Shem-Ha should be an Annunaki I presume, so they should have put the Curse of Balal into place. But why would Shem-Ha want to get rid of the moon? Or maybe it would be something about the Lunar Frontier that would be what they find interesting? No telling.

Regardless, Shem-Ha begins to be stuck in pain by what actually reminded me a bit of Shenshoujing and the mind-control device. Though SSJ had some stuff on its back too.

And immediately after, Fudo begins to use the Stained Glance again in order to control Tsubasa and makes her take Shem-Ha away while they’re subdued.

After all that, everyone goes back to HQ and I assume learn that the Kazanari Organization was truly behind everything. They still believe in Tsubasa though, which neither of them believe that she would betray them (on purpose).

Though Elfnein is the one to bring up the “evil eye” aka, the Stained Glance. 

I believe that because Elfnein has went through it, and Carol literally shoving Millaarc out, allowed them to realize what it was somehow. Or if anything, at least Carol since she was the one that prevented Millarc from delving any deeper into her mind. BAD THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT IT LOL.

Maria gets pulled away to the bridge so maybe the others talk about it while she’s gone but like FUDGE. No lie, I said about ten “thank you’s” during this scene because I want them to figure out that it wasn’t literally Tsubasa’s own actions that did this.

INTERMISSION:

Tsubasa is shown back with her grandfather as he explains that he also basically has a controlling device on Shem-Ha to...control it. Lol.

This dude is literally prepared for everything, good lord. What he reveals here is that this is actually a Faust Robe of Shenshoujing and that the person who made it is “already gone”. Now, I have no idea who he is referring to, but my friend told me last night that she wonders if he was thinking about Vanessa. Since she had the SSJ showing up back in episode 6 along with the vambrace, it very well could have been prepared by her ahead of time since she was a scientist for the Bavarian Illuminati for years. And his comment about them not being around anymore could be because he thought he killed them with the tainted blood.

This is just a guess though, and we actually have no idea who he’s actually talking about.

Now, despite what the Stained Glance ability actually does to a person, it seems as if Tsubasa still has her sense of self. They say it corrodes the heart and makes them either become controlled, have low self-esteem and/or rely on others. But Tsubasa questions this;

So Tsubasa is still technically herself but this whole “seal” is really jacking up her emotions like no tomorrow. Mainly just so Fudo could control her too. In a way, I do understand some concerns of how this is partially making Tsubasa’s long development to actually start thinking of her dreams, thinking more of herself in a better light, suddenly taking a slight nose dive but I feel like this was still possible because Fudo was always a thorn in her side. He was an issue for everyone, honestly, one that they really couldn’t confront or get rid of due to his status and power. And in a way, I think this is what Tsubasa is being stuck with in terms of facing right now; it’s just that Fudo had to use a mental manipulative way to get Tsubasa under his thumb.

Anyway, Maria gets pulled away to do a raid on the Kazanari compound but they only want Maria to be part of it. They got enough evidence to arrest Fudo and so Maria goes there determined to drag Tsubasa back by all costs.

Next, Hibiki’s dad literally just lays down and says that he realizes he wouldn’t be able to help Hibiki at all or give her any sort of good advice. Hibiki complains that he was the one that brought it before giving her throwback line of her being cursed. This little scene probably isn’t important to note, but once again, it’s brought back up at the end of the episode.

As for the raid, Yatsuhiro, Genjuro, and Ogawa also join Maria on it. Genjuro ends up meeting face to face with Fudo and engaging in a fight. I, technically, wasn’t expecting this, but my friend really wanted to see Fudo actually fight and do something besides scheming behind the scenes and she literally got it with this episode. Lol.

And while that happens, Maria starts her fight with Tsubasa.

Maria talks to her throughout the whole fight, telling Tsubasa that she doesn’t believe any of this stuff she’s saying; talking about how the power of the God will help protect people and that people need to be protected only because they’re weak.

Maria finds this to be arrogant and selfish of Tsubasa (of course neither of them knew about the seal), so instead Maria chooses to smack Tsubasa, and literally this is enough to break the seal.

I kind of joke that Maria’s hands are even stronger than Hibiki’s in this regard lmao. She literally smacked a seal off her, even if she didn’t know it was there in the first place. Though of course this was due to Maria’s words too, but knew she’d be the one to break it and help Tsubasa through.

But because of the seal being broken, I think the gravity of what she was doing and how she felt just kinda overwhelmed her so she starts crying and questioning what she was doing up until now. Again, it’s not Tsubasa’s fault for basically being a mess. It was literally the seal that made her feel this way.

I’m kinda not sure how I feel about this fully though? Merely because it seemed kinda easy in the end to break it and it was used mainly as a way for just tear Tsubasa down? Then again, Millaarc and them are known to be weak, and the keywords do state that if it was honed by someone stronger, it really could become an evil eye. But due to Millaarc being considerably weaker, even if she did end up putting it on Tsubasa in a weak mental state, the breaking of it may have been understandable. Or at least, that’s how I’m seeing it. Lol.

In the other fight, Fudo shows how good he actually is, despite being over 100 years old. He’s fighting against Genjuro with a sword but he’s really no pushover. He doesn’t take long to get rid of Genjuro, literally pile-diving the man into the ground, it was insane. Or I guess its weird because we’re so used to seeing Genjuro being the one that basically owns everyone because of his inhuman strength. But Fudo really out here fighting with the same amount of strength. Lol. And that shows most when he fights Tsubasa later on.

While this is happening, Noble Red sneaks in to deal with Shem-Ha, to take control of it for their own since they were betrayed by Fudo. But once they removed the mind control, Shem-Ha immediately wakes up and freaking kills them??????????????

Okay, my first initial thoughts on this is that if they died here and in such a way, that would suck. I say this because it feels like such a anti-climactic way for them to be killed off? Them dying in the show is a given, yes but the fact that they were killed off like this bothers me. I’d rather them get killed off in a fight against the Gear users OR you know just fighting back. Not getting owned by a God with little to no effort. It just felt like a waste to me.

With that out the way, some people are thinking they aren’t fully dead. One reason for this is Vanessa’s reaction; it didn’t actually seem all that worrying to her? The way she says their names, and even her movements make it seem like she wasn’t that pressed. But we know that she loves and cares for them so it wouldn’t make sense for her NOT to be upset. So because of this, some people are thinking that they aren’t dead, despite them being cut in half (as well as Vanessa being cut in half). I’m also not sure on how to feel about this because them dying like this would suck and would be nice if they got another chance.

But then how in the world would they even survive an attack like this when they’ve been considered weak? They already came in there weak due to the tainted blood so how would they even recover from such an attack? In my brain, it doesn’t make much sense so I don’t know what else to say about it until we see what may happen as a result next Saturday. 

They go back to the scene with Maria and Tsubasa, but Fudo comes in and knocks Maria out with a punch as he tries once again to get Tsubasa back on his side. He attempts to use the control seal but fails as its broken. And with Tsubasa’s denial, he deems her useless and tries shooting her. But Yatsuhiro takes the bullet for her instead.

He also reaffirms that he didn’t want anyone but himself to pretend being her father (which also just reminds you of how f*cked up Tsubasa’s family tree is) and that they protect people because they’re worth it, not because they’re weak. And from here on out, we assume he dies, which...clearly isn’t making Tsubasa feel any better.

Also, some people are thinking that her second song is in reference to Yatsuhiro. And honestly, I can buy that, merely because I thought “maybe they wanted us to see something with Tsubasa in episode 9 before her CD came out” and this is very well something to see before her CD comes out. It literally comes out tomorrow too (Wednesday for Japan but Tuesday for the US, at least my timezone) so it fits and very well may be the reason why they pushed Tsubasa’s CD another week so it comes out after this episode.

Moving on, after this, Tsubasa now uses her Gear to fight against Fudo, primarily as revenge against him for everything he’s done, as well as killing her father. And to be expected, Fudo is holding his own against a Gear, just like Genjuro is able to. And eventually because of it, Tsubasa uses her Amalgam. (HQ was able to lift the restriction off of it right as she used it lol)

Also, I feel the need to show Tsubasa’s expressions while she’s preparing for a killing blow to Fudo. After breaking his sword, he keeps telling her that a monster is what’s needed to protect their country, one that is willing to do whatever is possible. He ends up saying that Tsubasa is that monster as she’s about to kill him, plus, he’s encouraging her to do this the entire time.

But Genjuro stops them.

He does this to protect Tsubasa from becoming a monster just like Fudo, and for what Yatsuhiro wanted for Tsubasa. He named her “Tsubasa” in hopes that she would be the one to break free from the Kazanari family, basically to “fly away” from them. And if she ended up killing Fudo, that would be blood forever on her hands. This stops Tsubasa immediately, her Gear deactivating before she starts to cry again.

Now I’ve seen some people wishing she actually killed Fudo because he’s still a threat. And while I understand that, I still don’t think Tsubasa doing it would be right or fitting. Death is also too cheap for him because then he wouldn’t even be held responsible for his actions. He’d just die and then what? Even if he doesn’t feel regret, it’s better for him to actually have consequences instead of just dying and not facing anything. At least, in my opinion that is.

After this though, some shizz starts happening with what I assume is Shem-Ha.

Hibiki is called back into HQ due to everything that’s transpired I assume so as she gets ready to leave, her father stops her to tell her that everything is okay (using the familiar catchphrase).

Akira admits that he’s a bad father that can’t do anything for Hibiki but use those words for her. He also admits that the same words turned into a curse for him and honestly in a way, it was the same for Hibiki. Her using those words were mainly as a crutch to when she felt she was literally crumbling from within.

Technically, it wasn’t a good coping mechanism for Hibiki either since it’s literally her attempting to say she’s fine, and convince herself of it, when she really isn’t fine whatsoever. I think GX shows that well, especially in episode 8 where she’s running as she cries, saying the catchphrase over and over to herself as if the words alone would convince her that she’d be feeling better by saying it.

But he tells her that something is a blessing or curse depending on how you look at it. This is mainly in reference to her saying she’s cursed (and probably all of S1 where she said she was cursed like it was a mantra lol). 

And him saying how the kanji for “blessing” and “curse” look similar and are possibly two sides of the same coin sounds pretty silly but it makes Hibiki laugh lmao. This could hint to something later in the last four episodes however. And I’ve seen some people thinking it could ironically play to the Curse of Balal but I won’t get into that now. Other people are better at theories and thinking than myself lol.

So the episode ends with Hibiki leaving the apartment; her dad encouraging her while he deals with all this stuff with her mother and she thanks him for the food before running off.

NOTE: There’s a bonus scene after the credits that seem to show the Lunar Frontier/Ruins being activated? Could be because of that massive energy where Tsubasa and them are. I am not sure what to say about it because it’s really not that long and I’m sure it will come into play next episode.

Now, let me get this out the way again--- If people think that Hibiki 100% forgives her dad and don’t like that she does, then I’m sorry because I don’t see it that way at all. I don’t believe she has fully forgiven him because based on what she said WAY back in episode 3 that the problems don’t simply get erased. It was literal YEARS he abandoned them, and even before then he didn’t treat them right once he started drinking.

Hibiki knows this, and doesn’t think it will all be “sunshine and rainbows” immediately. This all takes time, it was literal trauma for ALL of them, her mother especially. It may work out in the end, it may not, who knows. But that’s for Akira and Hibiki’s mom to figure out and not to put the pressure of fixing her family all on Hibiki.

She’ll try to help, yeah but...that’s between those two. They are the ones that need to figure that out and not drag their daughter into it as well. I believe that Hibiki realizes he’s trying, and that’s enough for her to try and help him along the way. He’s attempting to change but just because someone says that doesn’t mean it simply erases what he’s done. I think people really seem to forget that.

They seem so quick to believe that if you don’t hate someone that has done terrible things, they believe you agree to what they did and find no issues with it. That’s not true at all. I take this stuff very seriously, even if it’s just a fictional character. I don’t think what he did was good at all, and I even disliked him as GX was airing because he did some messed up things that season that just left me feeling uncomfortable. I always bring up the scene in episode 8 when they’re eating. Again, it wasn’t the fact that he made her pay for the bill that bothered me, it was more that he seemed so nonchalant about Hibiki’s feelings, like he didn’t notice them. He didn’t notice how hard this was for Hibiki to face him again, and how frustrating it was for him to act as if everything was fine despite being out of their lives for literal YEARS.

That’s something I still don’t like. I was glad that she was pissed though, because it was understandable for her to feel this way. However, I also see that he’s trying and I think that’s what Hibiki sees. Plus, seeing her at least A LITTLE bit happy with this is nice because this is something that was hampering Hibiki for a HUGE chunk of her life. So for her to find at least A SMALL AMOUNT of happiness from this is good.

He wasn’t always bad, but it doesn’t excuse his actions either. There’s a lot to this and it bothers me that it feels as if there’s always “one side or the other”. It feels like people don’t think of it from both perspectives sometimes and that bothers me a lot. Maybe because I feel stuck in the middle for thinking about it both ways while most that I see are like pure hate or pure forgiveness.

To sum it up: What I do when I write Hibiki in terms of her family life is that she hardly ever tells ANYONE about it of course but she’s still dealing with it regardless if anyone knows or not. I don’t write her as 100% forgiving him for what he’s done. I write her as them slowly going through the process of working things out, even if it may take years before things are alright. And it may not work out in the end, and I think Hibiki knows that’s a possible route and will be fine with it in the end if so. At least they tried and that’s all they could ask for.

But anyway, moving on, this episode was a mixed bag only because it felt like they were trying to tie up loose ends really fast? Like, is Noble Red really dead? Is Yatsuhiro dead too? The removal of the seal felt rushed and simple (though I explained the different reasons earlier), but looking back and taking a few days to think about the episode, I feel at least slightly better about the whole thing overall. 

I can understand some people’s concern and their opinions, but I also can’t help but look on the other side as well. Maybe this is why I’m not good at discussions since I try to take everything into account lol.

But we’ll see how the last four episodes go. That’s it for me! These next few episodes should be intense then for sure.)

[robininthelabyrinth]

Eyestealer 5 - ao3 link

Fandom: Naruto Pairing: Senju Hashirama & Senju Tobirama (mostly gen, hints of other relationships later)

Summary: Hashirama really doesn’t approve of the thoughtful way his father looks at his younger brother’s bright red eyes. He’s sure it doesn’t mean anything good for anyone.

He’s right.

——————————————————————————————

Butsuma is right about this much: Hashirama does fight Madara, and Tobirama does keep killing Uchiha.

But Tobirama doesn't listen to Butsuma the way he used to, his heart broken by ‎the realization that he'd never earn his father's love not because of any fault in himself, but because of something his father himself inflicted on him, and that has a significant effect in a way neither Butsuma nor Hashirama ever realized.

Tobirama is the soul of the battlefield.

The Senju never really respected their leader's younger - now youngest - son the way they do Butsuma, for his ruthlessness, nor did they revere him the way they do Hashirama, with the crushing power of his Mokuton, but they've learned to trust Tobirama in a way they don't trust either other. Between his sensor abilities and tactical genius, Tobirama is able to look at any situation and ‎figure out how to turn it to their advantage.

He doesn't prioritize saving lives the way Hashirama does; his eyes are fixed on the mission objective, on victory, and to Hashirama's bemusement that is what his clan's shinobi and kunoichi apparently want. They die, yes, leaving widows and widowers and orphans behind, but they die with bloody teeth bared in smiles of pleasure, escaping to the Pure Lands with songs of triumph on their lips.

The elders and powerful of the clan all hate Tobirama, but the regular soldiers follow him first.

‎And so when Tobirama turns to his brother for confirmation of his orders, rather than his father, it is Hashirama's will that ultimately triumphs over the battlefield - his strategy, his objective, his terms.

His army.

Hashirama notices. Butsuma – doesn’t.

Hashirama notices that, too.

He’s careful not to oppose Butsuma too openly‎, counting on his father's arrogance and disdain for his second son to blind him to the truth, but under his careful guidance and Tobirama’s brilliance the battles become less bloody, the butcher's bill less steep, the slaughter less likely to spill over onto bystanders.

“No more dead children,” he tells Tobirama one day, when Tobirama finally hits double digits. In Hashirama’s opinion, Tobirama is still a child himself, round-cheeked and baby-fat, but he’s already a general. "I can't stop both sides from sending them out, but...no more."

Tobirama frowns. “He won’t like that.”

Hashirama doesn’t say anything. He won’t push, not when it comes to Butsuma; he doesn’t pay the price for that, not the way Tobirama still does.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Tobirama finally says. “But you might not like it.”

He’s right, Hashirama doesn’t like it – sticking the heads of child-killers on pikes? really? – but it works: the Uchiha are extremely freaked out by the unusual savagery of the tactic, which results in morale among the Senju being higher than ever, and that, in turn, means that Butsuma couldn’t get volunteers for a child-killing mission of his own even if he held people at sword-point.

It works.

Honestly, Hashirama is mostly just surprised that the mere presence of dead bodies, of which they have all seen far too many, is enough to cause such an effect on the Uchiha, and he says as much to Tobirama.

“It’s not the corpses, it’s the crows,” Tobirama replies, nodding in the direction of the heads, on which a fairly large number of crows have indeed come to rest. “I’m pretty sure the Uchiha burn their corpses to make sure no one steals the eyes.”

“Burn?” Hashirama asks, wrinkling his nose. The Senju prefer burials, but then, they're primarily a clan of doton users, for all that they're famed for their thousand skills, while the Uchiha are katon users; he supposes it makes sense. “And anyway, what has burial customs got to do with crows?”

“Crows pick out the eyes of dead men,” Tobirama explains. “The Uchiha are sensitive about things like that.”

Sure enough, the next time Hashirama’s on the battlefield with Madara only a swords’ width away, his (former) best friend glares at him as if betrayed and says, poisonously, “Heads on pikes? Really?”

“Only the child-killers!” Hashirama protests, thinking secretly that he and Madara are really quite delightfully similar when it comes down to it.

“What do you mean, only the –” Madara goes quiet for a second, thinking, or possibly just for enough air to cast that stupid fireball jutsu his clan is so famous for. “Your side stopped killing children around the same time.”

“It would be a blow to morale to do otherwise,” Hashirama explains, virtuously cribbing from Tobirama’s solemn and significantly more extensive explanation. He side-steps another katon and half-heartedly throws some roots to grab at Madara’s feet; they miss, of course, though they do make Madara hop like a particularly graceful rabbit. “The statement is only effective if we have moral superiority.”

“And by limiting the punishment to just child-killers, you make it unappealing for anyone in my clan to agree to those types of missions, too,” Madara says. He sounds begrudgingly impressed. “Who on your side thought of that, anyway? Not your father, that’s for sure.”

“...Tobirama,” Hashirama admits.

“Isn’t he ten?”

It’s shortly after that battle that the Uchiha start calling Tobirama the White Demon.

“Congratulations,” Hashirama says solemnly when they find out that the moniker has spread to other clans like the Nara or the Yamanaka, both of whom should really know better. He pats Tobirama on the back. “You’re a scary story parents tell to scare their children.”

“I’m ten,” Tobirama says through gritted teeth and an extremely bemused expression.

“Very scary,” Hashirama says, and pinches his cheeks.

“And I bet all the history scrolls are going to say that you’re the nice one...”

Hashirama does still fight, and quite seriously, against other enemies, and Madara does the same, and their reputations grow to the point that no one even questions why the two clan heirs continue to duke it out with no result – everyone just assumes they’re keeping the other away from the rest of the clan.

Madara might also think that, actually, Hashirama’s not sure, but either way their fights slowly start resembling more and more the sparring sessions they used to have by the riverbank. They never go so far as to shout encouragement for each other’s jutsus, of course, but there’s something of the same feeling.

After a while, Izuna starts making a point of targeting Tobirama on the field, sword against sword. Hashirama worries first that Tobirama is about to slaughter Madara’s last living brother, but they seem fairly evenly matched.

“You’re not going to let him kill you, are you?” he asks, his hands glowing green over a shallow slice in Tobirama’s arm, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. “I mean, I don’t want him to die, either, but if you need me to…”

He doesn’t want to, he desperately doesn’t want to, Madara would never forgive him –

“No, Izuna’s a good opponent,” Tobirama says. “He’s got a great defensive strategy, particularly in close combat.”

Hashirama looks at him.

“I can direct the battlefield any time I’m at a distance, then focus on him when I get close up without worrying about stray casualties,” Tobirama clarifies. “He’s defensive – the Uchiha trained him to guard Madara’s back, not strike out on his own. I might not be able to kill him, but I’ll be fine.”

Hashirama still worries.

That worry probably saves his life.

He’s not anticipating it when Madara suddenly goes back to attacking at full gusto, reeking with deadly killing intent that has a strange almost desperate edge to it, but he’s been holding at least a dozen roots back in reserve just in case he needs to incapacitate Izuna and when Madara hits him full force he squawks and throws them in between them as a shield.

He sees Tobirama blur with speed – his little brother is ridiculously fast, notoriously so even among shinobi, and that’s not a trait associated with the Sharingan, Butsuma – to try to come to help, because he’s probably been worrying about Hashirama as much as Hashirama’s been worrying about him, but Izuna’s blocking him, trying to harry him away from them.

Hashirama flickers his chakra in one of the patterns he and Tobirama established early on – all well here, continue fighting – and Tobirama twists back to focus on Izuna, much to Hashirama’s relief. Distractions in a battle field are a very bad idea.

Yes, yes, he knows he’s a hypocrite.

“What’s happened?” he asks, throwing himself to the side to avoid Madara’s next strike, and unlike his usual dodges he really does mean throw. “What’s wrong? Is everyone okay?”

“Are you insane?” Madara hisses. “You can’t ask me – we’re not friends! We stopped being friends long ago!”

“It’s only been a few years...”

He probably deserves it when Madara goes for his head next.

“Seriously,” he says when he next has a moment to breathe. “Who’s dying?”

He means it as a joke, but Madara looks grim and his eyes flicker ever-so-briefly to the west.

The west, where Tajima and Butsuma are fighting.

“Oh, no,” Hashirama says, meaning it. “I’m really sorry to hear that; I know you don’t get on with him that well, but that can’t be good for your clan.”

Yes, he knows they’re his enemies. But they’re still Madara’s clan, and he can still be concerned about them on Madara’s behalf, no matter how much Madara scoffs at him for it.

“Seriously,” Madara says, mockingly imitating Hashirama’s earlier question. “Hashirama, when did you go insane?”

“Some months before I met you,” Hashirama says honestly. “I had a very bad night.”

Madara gives him a weird look.

“A very bad night.”

Madara almost looks like he wants to ask, or express sympathy, and even though he doesn’t actually do it Hashirama’s counting that as a victory.

Tajima ends up pulling through whatever illness was causing Madara and Izuna such discomfort, and they go back to their almost stalemate for a while.

The next time Tajima begins to falter, though, and Hashirama’s watching for it now, things get bad again.

Madara and Izuna both throw themselves into the fighting, for better or for worse, and then they’re gone for an entire week – Tobirama suggests and leads several very successful covert raids for supplies the second Hashirama tells him they need an excuse not to openly fight the Uchiha until their two strongest fighters are back on the field, and he doesn’t even ask any questions – before returning.

This time, Madara wears the colors of the Clan Head.

Also, and this is more important to Hashirama, his Sharingan eyes are now pinwheels.

“Hey, so, what’s that called?” Hashirama asks, finding that he has to escalate to Sage Mode to stop Madara’s newest – significantly stronger – onslaught. “Oh, and my condolences.”

“You’re so weird,” Madara tells him, but his tone is more long-suffering than anything else. “Also, how long have you been able to do that?”

“As far as Butsuma knows, today,” Hashirama says, a little dryly. “In actuality – a month or so?”

Madara actually stops fighting for a second, peering at him. “Really?” he asks dubiously. “You’re not just saying that to make me feel better about the fact that you’ve apparently been taking pity on me?”

“Why would I take pity on you?” Hashirama asks, putting his hands on his hips. “You’re halfway to kicking my ass a good half of the time! If I didn’t get a head start on Sage Mode, you would’ve been able to kill me.”

“That’s the point. We’re at war, you idiot.”

“You still haven’t told me what your new eyes are called,” Hashirama says, because they’re not going to get anywhere retreading that old ground. “Is it still the Sharingan when it’s a pinwheel instead of flecks?”

“Please stop admitting that you look me in the eyes,” Madara says with a groan. “Just – stop. It’s embarassing. To you, mostly, but also to me. And it’s called the Mangekyo Sharingan, not that that’s any of your business.”

“Oh, is that what that looks like? We have some art. It’s – bad.”

Madara pauses again, probably thinking of Hashirama’s extremely underdeveloped sense of artistic appreciation (for some reason, Madara doesn't agree with Hashirama's conclusion that stick figures are as complex as art needs to go) and extrapolating from there about how bad exactly the art is. Then he makes a face.

“Yeah,” Hashirama says with a sigh. “That bad.”

“Just fight me already,” Madara says, but it sounds almost like surrender, and the rest of the battle is mostly Madara trying out cool new attacks while Hashirama blocks or dodges and shouts irritating color commentary.

(Hashirama’s just glad he doesn’t try the black fire the Senju scrolls they’ve uncovered tell about; Tobirama’s already told him that if Madara ever summons that he won't hesitate to use his black water to counter it, and that would be the end of everything.)

After the battle, though, he’s feeling particularly light-hearted. Madara, Clan Head! It’s a heavy duty that falls upon his shoulders, especially since he’s only seventeen, but despite everything he said about picking family over peace, there’s a chance that maybe he would be open to –

“- peace talks,” Butsuma says. “"We can have a delegation ready to go by the end of this week."

Hashirama gapes at him.

He knew Butsuma had started noticing his growing lack of control over the Senju clan - it began with Tobirama's army getting accustomed to looking to Hashirama because Tobirama does, and, once his approaches started getting results, their admiration spread even to non-combatants - but Hashirama still has nowhere near enough support in the clan to launch an effective coup and seize power.

And while Hashirama has been able to effectively leverage his growing popularity into a certain measure of influence over clan policy, enough to counter some of Butsuma's worst instincts, ‎Butsuma himself has always been his enemy, not his ally.

Why would he suddenly be agreeing to one of Hashirama's most dearly held dreams now?

Tobirama very minutely turns his face to the side, a deliberate shift that no one but Hashirama would realize was him shaking his head, warning caution, but Hashirama is filled with bubbling hope too strong to repress. He never cared if he was the one who reached out the first hand for peace‎ or if the credit went to someone else, as long as peace is ultimately reached.

If Butsuma has finally realized that peace was inevitable, that Hashirama will offer it regardless as soon as he was dead - a realization perhaps triggered by Tajima's own death? - and wants to get ahead in order to ensure that he can include robust terms in the negotiations, Hashirama will take it, and with great joy.

"How do we know the Uchiha will not kill our ambassadors on sight as they approach?" one of the elders is asking.

"We'll send them under flag of truce," Butsuma says. "We've never done that before; they'll be curious. A small party, no more than three individuals, and‎ at least one will be of sufficient importance that they will be convinced of our good intentions."

"I'll go," Hashirama says at once. He doesn't think it's likely - he's the heir, after all, and their Mokuton prodigy, not to mention even he knows that he’s frankly awful at negotiating when it’s for something he really wants  - and sure enough, everyone is shaking their heads.

Butsuma has a little smile on his lips, though, and Hashirama feels the first shiver of concern - he looks smug and satisfied, laughter behind his eyes at Hashirama’s small gesture in support of his idea, as if something is going right.

Tobirama always feared that expression most of all, and usually for good reason.

"No," Butsuma says, raising his hands for quiet. "Not you, Hashirama, but your brother's presence will be just as persuasive."

Hashirama's heart sinks, hope curling into fear in his belly. Butsuma treats Tobirama decently enough in public, especially since he figured out his second son's sway with the soldiers of their clan, but he's never truly valued him.

And while Tobirama would be Hashirama's own first pick as ambassador, with his self-control and poise and ability to always consider his options before acting, Hashirama is terribly certain that those are not the qualities Butsuma is thinking of.

Butsuma has always thought of Tobirama, first and foremost, as disposable.

But then, that would mean - the peace talks -

"An ambassador of such high rank would require them to treat him with respect," Butsuma says. "Gathering all the strongest members of their clan together at the welcoming feast - and that is when we will destroy them all.”

Some of the advisors look uncomfortable at the thought of using peace talks as a cover, but many of the elders are as vicious as Butsuma, and they’re already nodding.

“How, though?” one asks with a frown. “They won’t weaken their outside defenses –”

“The strength of a wall doesn’t matter if the attack comes from within,” Butsuma says, and there’s an ugly sort of anticipation in his voice. “An explosive seal tied directly to the user’s chakra, magnifying the effect many times over...the entire compound will be caught in the blast. Even those who survive the initial blast will be weakened, allowing our forces from outside to come in and pick them all off. We will leave no survivors.”

Hashirama is frozen. Horror wells up within him; his mouth tastes like ash, and he can see it, that’s the worst part, he can see it – it’s not a bad plan, not really, not with the Uchiha weakened and uncertain after Tajima’s death, not with Madara as the new clan head; Madara, who unlike Tajima would allow the ambassadors to pass through the compound gates, and all because he would believe without a second’s hesitation that Hashirama must be behind the delegation –

“Abomination,” he says, his lips moving without his conscious decision. “This plan – it is an abomination.”

Some of the leaders are looking to him, but not enough, not enough, he’s beloved by the majority of the Senju but their clan is no democracy – it is the elders and the powerful whose voices matter, and they support Butsuma.

Dogs, each one of them, baying for blood that they will not need to lift a finger to obtain.

“The Uchiha will not be so easily deceived,” one of the elders says, ignoring Hashirama entirely, obviously dismissing his objection as nothing more than the wistful dreams of an idealist the way he always does. “They will search our ambassadors before they permit them to enter, much less invite them to a meal. How can we hide the seal well enough to get it through their gates?”

Butsuma smiles. “Do not trouble yourselves; I’ve already thought of a solution to that,” he says. “We’ll put it in the one place an Uchiha will never think to look.”

He glances over at Tobirama, who he still thinks of as his – his tool to use, not his son, never his son, never beloved and all because of what Butsuma himself inflicted upon him – and his smile widens.

“We’ll paint the explosive seal onto Tobirama’s eyes.”

Hashirama doesn’t actually remember moving.

It’s as if the whole world goes white, then red, and it’s fury he feels, fury unlike anything he’s ever felt before, all the hatred he’s ever had for Butsuma suddenly filling him from head to toe – how dare Butsuma do something like this, how dare he pervert Hashirama’s dearest dream and seek to use, seek to kill, Hashirama’s most precious person in the process; how dare he use Hashirama’s friendship with Madara to destroy him and his clan; how dare he treat Tobirama like trash that finally has a use but only in its destruction; how dare he –

When Hashirama comes back to himself, his hands are covered in blood.

He’s lunged across the table, the wood of the floor and wall and chair – dead wood, of the sort he’s long pretended he doesn’t have the ability to control – all springing to life with sharp spikes to pin Butsuma in place, and he’s – he’s –

He ripped Bustuma’s eyes out of his head.

What has he done?

“Kill him,” Tobirama says.

Hashirama looks at him blankly. Doesn’t Tobirama realize – he just – the Senju clan will never accept a parricide as their leader, never; Hashirama will never be able to extend to Madara the hand of peace, he’ll be lucky if he escapes without being executed or banished –

Tobirama’s eyes are spinning pinwheels. He’s removed his lenses, hands moving as quick as the lightning he can summon, and his hands are knotted into fists on the table before him as if he is under some terrible pressure.

“Tobirama...?”

That’s when Hashirama realizes that no one else in the room has moved.

Their eyes are fixed on Hashirama where he kneels on the table before the moaning, wounded but not-yet-dead body of his father, but their eyes do not see.

Their eyes shine red, with black pinwheels.

Genjutsu.

“I won’t be able to block their vision for long,” Tobirama says, and he’s gritting his teeth with the strain of it. His chakra is strong, not weak as they’d always thought – it was only ever the presence of the ever-draining Sharingan that hid it away – and they’d figured out a way for him to borrow some of Hashirama’s when he needed extra, as he does now. “Kill him, now; then remove your wooden spikes and go wash your hands. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Tobirama,” Hashirama says, helpless. He’s the older brother; he’s supposed to be the one caring for his brother, not the opposite way around. And what does it matter, anyway? He’s a parricide, he’s never going to be Clan Head, and now Tobirama’s own succession will be in question because of what he’s done to help –

“I can’t kill him,” Tobirama says. His voice is as stern and calm as ever, but Hashirama knows his little brother and can see how much he’s feeling right now; he’s overwhelmed with emotion, far too many all at once for Hashirama to decipher. “I can’t kill him, anija; I still love him. So you have to do it. Now, Hashirama.”

Hashirama reaches out and snaps his father’s neck. He doesn’t laugh the way he thought he would.

“Now go.”

Hashirama goes.

When he comes back, the elders are all on their feet, all yelling, their eyes clear once more, and only Tobirama is still kneeling, his eyes closed to conceal the truth hidden under their lids.

“Hashirama-sama!” one of them bellows, grabbing at his arms – it’s the one who ignored him earlier, who asked about how they would hide the explosive seal to get it through the gates. He’s never addressed him as Hashirama-sama before in his life. “He has to be imprisoned at once!”

“I – what?”

He?

“Your brother! After you stormed out, Bustuma explained his plan to use Tobirama as a vessel for the explosive seal, and Tobirama murdered him where he sat!”

After he –

Oh.

Of course.

Genjutsu is the art of weaving illusions so real you can’t tell the difference between them and reality – so real that if you time it just right, you can overwrite a person’s perception of what happened right before their own eyes.

And Tobirama knows, just as Hashirama does, that the Senju will never accept a parricide as their leader. He used his Mangekyo Sharingan to trade that reality for a new one, using a skill he hasn’t touched since he was a child – a skill he swore he would never use again.

He broke that vow for Hashirama’s sake.

Hashirama looks at the scene before him with new eyes.

Butsuma’s head – with its missing eyes and snapped neck, damning in their tale of what Hashirama did – is missing, blasted away, probably with one of Tobirama’s water dragons, because Tobirama might have loved his father too much to kill him but he has never cared about what happens to corpses, no matter how once-beloved.

Hashirama had called the plan an abomination – he’d been too horrified to move, yes, but he could see a world in which he wasn’t, a world where he leapt to his feet and stormed out of the room. He can see the elder still asking the question he asked and Butsuma answering the same – he can’t see Tobirama rising up in fury, casting his most deadly ninjutsu on an unprepared man, much less on his father, but the elders can, and have, and that’s what matters.

Hashirama will be clan head after all.

“– execute him," the elders are shouting, "Exile him, imprison him –”

“No,” Hashirama says, and his voice silences them all. They’re not accustomed to seeing him be stern and solemn. “There will be no punishment.”

“You can’t be serious!” one of the other elders shouts. “He murdered your father!”

“My father went mad,” Hashirama says. “He must have, to have proposed such a plan. To pervert the laws of hospitality and truce like that – the Senju would never be trusted again by anyone. Our allies would desert us, our patrons and clients would abandon us, and the rest of the world would unite together to destroy us rather than permit the existence of a snake who would use the flag of truce as a weapon.”

They fall silent again – a guilty silence, this time, for having let their lust for Uchiha blood overwhelm their reason.

“To have even suggested such a thing is madness,” Hashirama continues, looking at each and every one of them. “To have proposed something that would lead to the destruction of our clan is unforgivable. It is treason, pure and simple – treason to our clan, treason to the laws of humanity itself. And the punishment for treason is death.”

The room is deathly quiet.

“My brother performed nothing more than his duty,” Hashirama says, and the lie tastes like ash on his tongue. “He executed a traitor. That it was our father is – unfortunate, yes, but I will not punish someone for doing their duty. He will not be imprisoned, he will not be punished. I say so not as a brother, but in my first act as the head of our clan. Is that understood?”

It takes a long moment, but they nod. First the ones he’s already lured over to his side, the ones who have already invested themselves in his eventual ascent; then the ones who wavered between the sides, uncertain who would prove more persuasive; and finally even the ones who supported Butsuma, realizing at last that he is gone, he is no more, and the world has changed.

Each and every one of them nods.

Hashirama has won.

He will be the next clan leader.

“Take my father’s body and prepare it for a proper burial,” Hashirama says, even though Butsuma deserves to be thrown from the compound walls and left for dogs to feed on. “And if you are to speak of what happened here, you will speak of it as I have: as treason, as madness, as justice. Now go.”

They go.

When they are at last alone in the room, Hashirama looks at his brother, still kneeling, his eyes still closed. There are tears gathering in the corners of his eyes: he still loved his father, even after everything, and Hashirama killed him. “Thank you.”

He doesn’t just mean for the genjutsu – for Tobirama violating his own oath, which not even Butsuma’s most dire punishments managed to get him to do – but for what it means. Tobirama doesn’t believe in peace, can’t even imagine it, would never pursue it if he were named clan head, but for the sake of Hashirama’s peace he will let his name be spat upon, tainted forever with the name of parricide that should rightly hang on Hashirama’s head.

“For you, anija,” Tobirama murmurs at last, still not looking at him. “Anything.”

How could Hashirama promise him anything less in return?