#imagine watching that happen to your (friend? partner?) soulmate and feeling that pain with him

[skywalker1dream]

Title: Lost and Found in Monaco

Note: Helloo guysss, I can't believe it's been so long and so much has happened!! I started working, met new people and now we are good friends. I hope everyone is well and i you all are having a great summer! And OH MY GOD? 125 FOLLOWERS?? THANK YOU SO MUCH!❤️❤️

Sebastian vettel x fem!reader

Warnings: none?

Summary: let's just say one word "Soulmate's"

[⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️]

[⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️]

Part one: The Soulmate's Myth

Sebastian Vettel had always known the stories. Everyone did. From the moment a child could comprehend language, they were told tales of the soulmates—a person born just for you, a perfect match that would make your heart sing. For most people, it happened quickly. A touch, a glance, sometimes even a name heard in passing, and you just *knew*. You’d feel the warmth in your chest, the invisible string tying you to someone else. It was as real and undeniable as gravity.

But for Sebastian, that connection had never come.

He was surrounded by stories of love and fate. He had watched with quiet envy as friends and family found their other halves. He heard about the rush of meeting your soulmate, the sudden certainty that you had found the one person who completed you in every way. But Sebastian, despite all his accomplishments and fame in Formula 1, despite being adored by fans around the world, was left with a growing emptiness.

As the years passed, Sebastian became increasingly convinced that something was wrong with him. Was he broken? Defective? He masked his worries with the thrill of racing, the roar of engines drowning out the silent fears that plagued him. But when the race was over, and the adrenaline faded, he was left with the cold, stark truth: he was alone.

The rumors started, whispers among the media and even within the paddock. "Why hasn’t Vettel found his soulmate?" they asked. Was it possible that one of the sport's brightest stars was meant to shine alone? Sebastian did his best to ignore the speculation, but it gnawed at him, deepening the void.

And then, there was you.

Part two: A Shared Loneliness

You were not so different from Sebastian. Born into a world where everyone had a destined partner, you had grown up with the same stories, the same hopes. But, like Sebastian, you had never felt that fateful connection. The years went by, and with each passing birthday, your hope dimmed.

It wasn't that you were unhappy; you had a good life, a solid career, friends who loved you. But there was a piece missing, a shadow that followed you no matter how bright the day. You were certain that you would never find your soulmate, that you would forever be the one left behind.

People tried to comfort you, to tell you that perhaps your soulmate was still out there, waiting to be found. But you had stopped believing in those words long ago. You went through the motions, attending weddings, celebrating friends' and siblings' soulmate connections, but inside, you were numb.

The idea of soulmates had once filled you with hope, but now it was a burden, a cruel joke that life had played on you. And so, you threw yourself into your work, into your passions, trying to fill the void with anything that could distract you from the painful truth.

It was your love of racing that brought you to Monaco that fateful weekend. As a lifelong fan of Formula 1, you had always dreamed of attending the Monaco Grand Prix, the crown jewel of the racing calendar. The glittering harbor, the streets transformed into a high-speed circuit, the world’s best drivers navigating the treacherous corners—it was everything you had imagined.

You were there to enjoy the race, to lose yourself in the speed and the spectacle. You had no idea that your life was about to change forever.

Part three: The Collision

Monaco was buzzing with excitement as the race weekend began. The narrow streets were packed with spectators, the air filled with the sounds of engines revving and fans cheering. You wandered through the paddock, trying to soak it all in, feeling a rare sense of peace as you lost yourself in the world of racing.

Sebastian, on the other hand, was in a foul mood. The track had always been one of his favorites, but this year, it felt different. The usual thrill was overshadowed by a persistent sense of unease. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something, something important. It gnawed at him, making him restless and irritable.

He was walking through the paddock, his mind elsewhere, when it happened. You were turning the corner, your attention caught by a display of racing memorabilia, when you collided with something—no, someone—solid. The impact sent you stumbling, your heart racing from the sudden jolt.

Sebastian barely registered the collision until he looked down and saw you. For a moment, time seemed to freeze. You were just a stranger, someone he had never seen before, and yet…

You felt it too. That strange, inexplicable pull, like a magnetic force drawing you closer to him. Your breath caught in your throat as you looked up into his eyes, eyes that seemed to hold the same shock, the same recognition that you were feeling.

Sebastian blinked, trying to make sense of the sudden rush of emotions. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen, was it? He had always imagined that meeting his soulmate—if it ever happened—would be a grand, cinematic moment. But this? This was something else entirely. It was messy and confusing and utterly real.

You didn’t say anything, neither did he. Words felt unnecessary, even impossible in that moment. But as you stood there, staring at each other, the crowd and noise of the paddock faded into the background. There was only you and him, and the undeniable connection that sparked between you.

Sebastian was the first to speak, his voice a low, uncertain murmur. “I’m sorry… are you okay?”

You nodded, still trying to process what was happening. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just… surprised, I guess.”

He chuckled, a soft, almost nervous sound. “Surprised would be an understatement.”

There was a pause, a beat of silence that felt loaded with meaning. You could see the wheels turning in his mind, the same questions swirling in your own thoughts. Could it be? Was this really happening?

Finally, Sebastian took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. “I don’t know if this is crazy, but… do you want to get out of here? Maybe grab a coffee or something? I think we need to talk.”

You felt a smile tug at the corners of your lips. “I think you’re right.”

Part four: Discovering the Truth

The café was tucked away in a quiet corner of Monaco, far from the noise and chaos of the race weekend. It was the perfect place to talk, to try and make sense of the whirlwind of emotions that had taken you both by surprise.

You sat across from each other, two strangers bound by a connection you couldn’t explain. The initial awkwardness gave way to a tentative conversation, each of you sharing your stories, your fears, your doubts. It was surreal, how easy it was to open up to him, how natural it felt to be with him.

Sebastian listened intently as you told him about your life, your struggle to come to terms with the idea that you might never find your soulmate. It was a struggle he knew all too well, and as he shared his own experiences, you realized just how similar your journeys had been.

“So,” you said, stirring your coffee absently, “do you think this is it? That we’re… soulmates?”

Sebastian leaned back in his chair, his gaze thoughtful. “I don’t know. Everything I’ve been told about soulmates makes this seem… different. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe we’re not meant to fit into the same mold as everyone else.”

You nodded, understanding what he meant. This connection, whatever it was, didn’t feel like the stories you had heard growing up. It was more complex, more real. It wasn’t about instant love or perfection. It was about finding someone who understood you, who shared your fears and your hopes.

As the conversation continued, you felt the walls you had built around yourself start to crumble. With Sebastian, there was no need to pretend, no need to hide your loneliness or your doubts. He saw you, truly saw you, in a way that no one else ever had.

And slowly, the fear that had been with you for so long began to fade, replaced by something new. It wasn’t the all-consuming, fairy-tale love that you had been led to expect. It was something quieter, something deeper—a connection built on shared experiences, on understanding and empathy.

By the time you left the café, the sun was beginning to set, casting a warm glow over the streets of Monaco. As you walked side by side, you felt a sense of peace that had eluded you for years. You didn’t know what the future held, but for the first time, you were okay with that.

Sebastian glanced at you, a small smile playing on his lips. “So… where do we go from here?”

You returned his smile, feeling lighter than you had in a long time. “Wherever we want, I guess. Together?”

He nodded, a look of quiet determination in his eyes. “Together.”

And with that, the two of you walked into the night, leaving behind the fears and doubts that had haunted you for so long. You didn’t have all the answers, but you had each other, and for now, that was enough.

**Bonus Chapter: Future Dreams**

A few years had passed since that magical time in Switzerland, and your life with Sebastian had become everything you’d ever hoped for. The two of you had settled into a rhythm that was both exciting and comforting, filled with laughter, love, and a sense of contentment that you’d never known before.

But recently, you had felt something shift inside you, a new longing that had taken root in your heart. It started out small, just a fleeting thought here and there, but it had grown stronger with each passing day.

The catalyst had been a simple moment—watching Sebastian interact with children at a charity event. He had always been good with kids, but that day, as you stood on the sidelines and watched him crouch down to talk to a little boy who couldn’t have been older than five, something inside you clicked. The way he smiled at the child, the gentle tone of his voice, the easy laughter they shared—it made your heart swell with love for him in a way that was almost overwhelming.

You could picture it so clearly: Sebastian as a father, his strong, gentle hands cradling a tiny baby, his eyes filled with the same warmth and love that he always showed you. The image was so vivid, so real, that it took your breath away.

From that moment on, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. The idea of having children with Sebastian, of starting a family together, consumed your thoughts. You imagined what it would be like to hold your own child in your arms, to see Sebastian’s smile reflected in their eyes, to build a future that included more than just the two of you.

Sebastian, ever intuitive, noticed the change in you almost immediately. He saw the way your gaze lingered on families when you were out together, the way your hand would rest on your stomach as if imagining what it would be like to carry a child. He didn’t say anything at first, wanting to give you space to sort through your feelings, but he was more attuned to you than ever.

One evening, after a particularly heartwarming day spent with friends and their children, Sebastian gently broached the subject as the two of you were getting ready for bed. You were brushing your hair in front of the mirror when you caught his reflection behind you, his eyes soft as he watched you.

“Hey,” he said quietly, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. “Can we talk about something?”

You set down the brush, meeting his gaze in the mirror. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

He pressed a kiss to the side of your neck, his breath warm against your skin. “I’ve noticed you’ve been different lately… thinking about something. I think I know what it is, but I want to hear it from you.”

You turned in his arms to face him, your heart pounding. “I’ve been thinking about us, about our future,” you admitted, your voice soft but steady. “About… starting a family.”

Sebastian’s eyes lit up with understanding, and he cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing over your cheeks. “You’ve been thinking about having kids,” he said, not as a question, but as a statement of fact.

You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I have. I can’t stop thinking about it, actually. Seeing you with children, the way you are with them… it makes me want that for us. I want to give you that, Seb. I want to have a family with you.”

His expression softened even more, a look of pure love and adoration filling his eyes. “I’ve been thinking about it too,” he confessed, his voice tender. “I’ve been waiting for the right time to bring it up, but I wanted to make sure you were ready.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you reached up to hold his hands, squeezing them gently. “I’m ready, Sebastian. More than anything, I want to build a life with you that includes children, a family.”

He leaned in and kissed you, slow and deep, as if sealing the promise you had just made to each other. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, and he smiled, that soft, heart-melting smile that had made you fall in love with him all over again.

“Then let’s do it,” he whispered. “Let’s make a family together.”

That night, after your heartfelt conversation, you found yourselves wrapped up in each other, a sense of unity stronger than ever before. As you lay together in the quiet of your bedroom, Sebastian's fingers traced gentle patterns on your back, his touch both soothing and electrifying.

But there was something more in the air tonight—a different kind of intensity. The love between you had always been passionate, but this felt deeper, more purposeful, as if the shared dream of creating a family had added a new layer to your bond.

You turned to face him, your heart full as you looked into his eyes. "Sebastian," you whispered, your voice a little shaky from the emotions swirling inside you, "I want to start now. I don’t want to wait any longer."

His eyes darkened with understanding, and without a word, he pulled you closer, his lips finding yours in a kiss that was both tender and full of promise. The kiss quickly deepened, fueled by the desire that had been simmering between you all evening.

Sebastian rolled over, pinning you beneath him with a gentle but firm hold, his gaze locking onto yours. “Are you sure?” he murmured, his voice husky and filled with a raw emotion that sent shivers down your spine.

You nodded, your hands moving to slide under his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingers. “More sure than I’ve ever been,” you replied, your voice breathless with anticipation.

That was all he needed to hear. He kissed you again, this time with a hunger that matched your own, his hands moving to explore your body with an urgency that made your pulse quicken. The world outside your little cocoon seemed to disappear as you lost yourselves in each other, every touch, every caress charged with the knowledge that you were creating something new, something beautiful together.

Clothes were shed quickly, almost frantically, as the desire between you became a tidal wave that you couldn’t hold back. Sebastian’s hands were everywhere, exploring, caressing, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake. The way he looked at you, with such reverence and need, made your heart swell with love for him.

When he finally settled above you, his body pressed against yours, the intensity of the moment hit you both. There was a brief pause, a shared breath as you both realized what this meant—this wasn’t just another night together, it was the beginning of a new chapter, the start of a journey you were both eager to embark on.

With a whispered “I love you,” Sebastian moved, and the two of you became one, your bodies moving together in perfect harmony. The passion between you was overwhelming, every touch, every kiss, every whispered word of love sending you spiraling higher. It was as if you could feel the future being written in that moment, your hearts beating in time as you both gave yourselves fully to each other.

As the intensity built, your hands gripped onto Sebastian’s shoulders, your body arching into his as you both reached the edge. And when you finally tipped over into bliss, it was like nothing you had ever felt before—deeper, more profound, a connection that went beyond the physical and into something almost spiritual.

You cried out his name, your voice filled with love and wonder, and Sebastian followed soon after, his own voice breaking as he whispered your name in return. The two of you held each other tightly as you rode out the waves of pleasure, your bodies trembling with the force of it, your hearts full to bursting.

When the world slowly came back into focus, you found yourselves still wrapped up in each other, your breathing heavy, your skin damp with sweat. But there was a sense of peace that settled over you, a deep, abiding contentment that came from knowing you were on this journey together.

Sebastian brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his eyes soft and full of love as he looked at you. “You’re going to be an amazing mother,” he whispered, his voice filled with certainty.

Tears welled up in your eyes at his words, and you smiled, reaching up to cup his face in your hands. “And you’re going to be the best father,” you replied, your voice thick with emotion.

He kissed you softly, and then pulled you into his arms, holding you close as you both basked in the afterglow of your lovemaking. You could feel the steady beat of his heart against your cheek, and it soothed you, lulling you into a state of blissful contentment.

——————–———————

Note: hope you like it leve the comments don't be shy tell me bout your day or how is your summer going so far..❤️ ; [AND LOOK AT HIM OH MY GOD HE IS SO HDDHJDDBFHDBGVD❤️❤️]

[zingaplanet]

IDK anon is kinda making sense but point is, fedal (tennis) soulmates and no one will ever be over last Friday

Ok long answer disclaimer: if we're talking seriously here I actually believe that it was the very unique circumstances of their relationship that creates this special bond between them, they have also confessed that each other occupies a very strange, one of a kind position in each other's life. I believe they realise how lucky they are because this bond (a rivalry that intense for 20 years) doesn't even happen once in a century let's be honest, and nor to anyone, most of us will never have this kind of unique relationship in our lives.

I personally don't think that they share every single thing with each other or are in constant contact all the time simply because it's just frankly impossible given the nature of the competition (they still have to beat each other on a daily basis), so they're not part of each other's personal lives per se at least so far. Roger and Rafa have their own circles in their homes and they've said so.

But at the same time, despite not seeing or talking to other all that often, it's this incredibly strange situation where I believe nobody knows them better than they know each other, simply because at the end of the day they are THE ONLY TWO people in the world, no one else, not even their significant others, best friends, or team, that truly, truly knows what it's like to ACTUALLY BE THEM, as they are the only partners in the best and worst moments of their lives, the two that were out there on the court.

I believe tennis is a strangely psychic sport, once the match begins, no matter how much coaching or support you might get before, or how many millions of people are watching, out there on the court, at a pindrop of the match, it's just the two of you. And for 3 or 4 hours, you unravel each other not only physically, but most importantly mentally. Trying to read (and to that, to understand) one another more than anyone else ever could, predicting each other's next moves, figuring out each other's gameplans, refusing their attempts to get into your heads but at the same time attempting to break into theirs, all the while fighting for the most important thing in your life. It's almost like a very intimate way of having a mental conversation with each other without actually saying anything. And once you've played someone as many times as Roger and Rafa played each other, I believe there is a sense of raw honesty and understanding that could never be hidden or scripted. Both of them said that they could talk about literally ANYTHING to each other without any embarassment or doubt over each other's total confidence. I don't think this is in any way achievable with just anyone, we don't even have that even with our closest friends. Thing is, their close circles might have the privilege to be with them and hear them share their pain or greatest happiness, but they COULD NEVER LIVE THEM. That's why their bond i think transcends even friendship, into something much more deeper, I don't think there'll ever be a proper way of referencing it that does it justice.

In that sense if there is any definition of soulmates, I fully agree with you that they are the closest thing to it. They are like two sides of the same coin, never really facing the same way but one nonetheless. This is why what Rafa said about a part of him leaving when Roger leaves actually makes so much sense and is probably the closest glimpse we can ever get of what it feels like to have a bond this INTENSE. Imagine winning the one thing you've always dreamed of, Wimbledon for instance, after fighting for it like there's no tomorrow for the past 2 weeks and in your indescribable happiness, across the net is another version of you, of what you could've been, of someone who fought equally crazy and dreamt equally hard, whom you know deserves the trophy as much as you.

There is a fantastic Oscar Wilde quote that I think helps describe it:

He and I are closer than friends. We are enemies linked together. The same sin binds us.

[spacedustmantis]

if we're being realistic, being ripped apart by a horde of zombies has to be the most gruesome, most painful death of them all

[running-with-kn1ves]

This has been on my mind lately. A yandere who is obsessing over a person he made in his head. The person does not exist. Everyone is literally worried about him bc the yandere has dedicated his life for the person he made in his head.

No but seriously-- this is wack and uncanny!! I feel like it’s unfortunately possible in today’s society too. Imagine if their darling was a fictional character even! Their lover isn’t real, maybe it's an internet personality, or a video game character. Their “soulmate” could even just be from a distant dream; a passing face in a crowd, or a jumble of different appearances molded together to make the perfect person.

The obsessor is persistent-- claiming that their lover is real, demanding that they be seen as a human being. Friends and family are forced to reserve a spot at the dinner table for a non-existent person, a being who has never even uttered a breath. And yet the delusional yandere is keen on making a plate with all their darling’s favorite foods on it, talking to the air as if they’re really there.

Friends will drift away, mocking and pointing at the poor obsessed creature. Family will eventually cut contact, growing tired of the yelling and fighting about a person who doesn’t even exist. Fathers and sisters will be embarrassed, cousins will point and stare, all the while our dear yandere clutches on to the coat they specifically picked out for their “lover;” if only just to have some semblance of peace.

Despite these hardships thrown at them, a true obsessed and love-struck partner doesn’t just stop there. They’ll be convinced that this was supposed to happen; that their family and friends were always horrible influences. How could such disgusting human beings understand the kind of love true soulmates have?

They’ll hold the cold spot on the bed, convincing themselves that their lover was always cold. Being in such a delusional state, a kind of obsessor like that would persuade themselves that someone’s out to get their darling. And they’ll believe it, too. Even if other people claim to not see their lover, the yandere will think such unstable words were lies. After all, who else could the creepy men and women be staring at on the street?

A true lover goes above and beyond; beyond the expectations of merely telling a few people to fuck off. No, words weren’t enough. The only thing that would fill that jealous void, would be to watch the life drain from the offender’s eyes. It would be the only way to show them how painful it was, to see someone lust after your property.

A yandere so stuck in their own world, will long deeply for a physical vessel that their darling can…”inhabit”. They’re clingy, demanding for some kind of tangible affection other than the mental sweet nothings they hear every night. They’ll spend years perfecting the right vessel, using human skin and stuffing to replicate all the perfect parts they’ve memorized. Each and every detail imaginable will be given onto the growing mass. Sure, the first body they used to physically create their darling was a mess, but over time it grew to be something amazing. Something real and solid that they can hug and hold. A true lover would be set with this alone; they’ll be fine with the weird looks on the street, the leftover body parts taking up space in their garage. It was worth it to bring their partner into reality; to show everyone that their darling was, in fact, real.

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x8 thoughts

I am so lucky that the creators of Ted Lasso decided to make this entire show specifically for me. #blessed

If last week felt like a bit of breathing room (albeit tense, poignant, character-progressing breathing room) with distinct narrative lines, this week’s episode was a chaotic yet tightly-written swirl of pain and hope and sadness! No neat subject headers for this one, y’all. Just my brain and heart in the inadequate form of a bulleted list. It is the medium available to me at this time.

I am going to remember the moment when Ted calls Sharon and tells her his father killed himself for the rest of my life.

(I could say a bunch of stuff about his face and what he says and how he tries to hide his tears from Beard right after and how insanely much I adore this character and ahhhhhhhh but I’m just going to leave that scene there in our collective memories.)

Jamie. JAMIE. Higgins has given some great advice about love on this show, but his musings about his up-and-down relationship with his own father were not helpful in the context of Jamie’s dad, who is an abusive piece of shit. I really adore that all of the main AFC Richmond staff members are realistically a bit hit-or-miss with their advice and life philosophies (some are mostly miss this season, of course).

And I am completely in awe of the moment when Jamie punches his father. The way he just stands there after Beard kicks his dad out of the locker room. The way you can hear a pin drop. And Roy—Roy who is learning in so many areas of his life about his influence on people, learning that the things he needs aren’t necessarily the same as the things other people need—is the one to cross the room and hug him. Hold him, really, with the tenderness Ted used when he hugged Rebecca outside the gala in 1x4. God.

I’ve thought a lot about how s1 was about giving people a soft place to land. There’s always an angel there when you need one. There’s always an opportunity to be kind. If you look for someone, you find them. If you look for the good in someone, you find the good. And as everyone works through their individual journeys in s2, that can’t always be the case anymore. But there are still so many moments of angels on this show, and it’s not about chance and serendipity and fate [not that it was about that in s1] but about the effort it takes to become someone who can be there for someone else. Or who can be there for yourself. I’m so proud of Jamie for physically fighting back against his father. I’m so proud of Roy for being the one who recognized what Jamie needed.

I have every feeling in the world about how Ted is almost totally frozen both times (s1 and s2) he witnesses Jamie’s father abusing him. In s1, he was still there for Jamie after, and I have every reason to believe he’ll be there for Jamie after this incident as well, but that frozen stance HURTS. He’s in so deep with his pain about his own father that it’s like he physically cannot snap out of it to act in the moment. It seems entirely outside of his control, and it breaks my heart, because Ted wants so badly to be a good father, a good coach, a good friend, a good partner, a good patient. He’s there for people in all kinds of ways, even in his current less-than-capable state. He takes care of Sharon post-concussion and even gets her a new bike! During the disastrous match at Wembley his coaching is ineffectual and everything is chaos but he’s the last one standing on the pitch! But this really awful thing keeps happening to Jamie and Ted is just…frozen in the face of it. Like one of those nightmares where you’re running in place.

The frozen-in-place nightmare also kind of applies to the way the total separation between Ted and Rebecca feels, too. I have never for a moment doubted the writers’ intentions in setting these characters up as soulmates on parallel journeys, and I’m actually really digging (on a story level) how disconnected they are right now. It is IMPRESSIVE that their absence in each other’s lives feels like such a glaring loss, one we cannot forget even as there are so many other things happening onscreen. It is 100% not just shipper goggles making me process information about Ted while thinking about Rebecca and information about Rebecca while thinking about Ted. I know there are a lot of really angry and frustrated people in the fandom right now (both T/R shippers and T/R antis and non-shipping fans who don’t get why s2 is different from s1) and while I understand being frustrated by choices characters make, and frustrated by the feelings the show makes us feel that we just want to feel more of or less of, I continue to agree with pretty much every narrative choice happening right now.

Agreeing with the narrative like this?! This is such a unique experience for me as a viewer—to feel like I’m on a ride that is at once absolutely wild and incredibly sensible and well-crafted, and to feel simultaneously completely invested and anticipatory and speculative but also totally willing to trust where it goes. I long for Ted and Beard to really talk. I long for Ted and Rebecca to stop missing each other. I long for Roy to have a serious conversation with Ted about what’s happening with him. I long for Keeley to find a vocation, something that drives her beyond her projects. I long for so many things! But I wouldn’t long for them if this show was less good. If the show was less good, I wouldn’t have a wish list a mile long because I wouldn’t be so attuned to the details and potential lurking in every scene. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SHOW, I CANNOT HANDLE IT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

(To that end, a great deal of the Ted Lasso tag and so many Twitter reactions reactions to the show feel super stressful right now and I am kind of just trying not to look?! I love this fandom so much because of the amazing conversations that happen and because of brilliant fic and because there are some awesome people I never would have encountered were it not for this show. That little bubble is wonderful and I’d stay in this fandom no matter what in order to keep experiencing those things. But fans’ catastrophic reactions to every little thing that happens, every little choice a character makes that isn’t the “perfect” choice? The takeaway that the writers—on this show of all shows—wake up in the morning ready for another day of torturing shippers rather than another day of writing a beautiful story they genuinely want to write? I do not enjoy those parts at all. I would like to opt out of those parts. I’m having such a magical experience watching this show and talking about this show and listening about this show and writing about this show with a variety of people who feel all kinds of ways. I truly wish I could somehow transfer the energy of this experience onto all the people who are hating it right now. I don’t mind at all that people are having vastly different reactions to this show and are sharing their honest feelings, including the really angry ones (I can appreciate something and disagree with it!), and I get that sometimes the language of fannish reactions is intentionally, ironically hyperbolic. But there feels like this very serious trend of people legitimately thinking writers on this show are targeting shippers and have lost respect for their characters, and I just feel like an alien from another planet when I see that stuff. I guess I just feel like people make art because they want their art to be visible to other people and to themselves, but that doesn’t typically involve specifically catering to or torturing a subset of that audience?)

I am more fascinated by Sharon Fieldstone than ever before. I have been running through every single action with her and Ted so many times. The confirmation that she’s living in club-provided housing (that could not look more different from Ted’s club-provided flat). Ted clearly noticing the many bottles. Sharon’s face while she tries to casually recycle them. (Sharon could legitimately have a more problematic relationship with alcohol than Ted does, and I find that extremely interesting and am very curious to find out what happens there.) Sharon leaving him voice notes while she’s concussed, probably because she’d been thinking about him shortly before the accident. The way Ted calls her and does all the funny voices and it’s not frustrating like all the times he uses his silliness and allusions to deflect during their prior conversations because this time, those behaviors are just a part of him showing care for another person. The way they stretch each other, and Ted is still wrong about the things he’s been wrong about, but they both grow all the same.

While it is pretty much impossible for me to imagine that this show would include an actual romantic relationship between Ted and Sharon (it would be beyond unethical even if they could write it well, and Sharon in particular is so professional and committed to her work, and it would erase so much of the powerful message about the importance of seeking therapy from a professional who is not your friend or partner, and I would totally hate it), watching this episode was the first moment I had this queasy little feeling that it’s possible that Ted could end up developing really complicated feelings about Sharon since, at this point, he’s been honest with her about things he’s hardly spoken about before and you can really form an attachment to people you feel safe with in a new way. (I mean, I’m sure Michelle knows what happened with Ted’s father, but I’m not even certain if Beard does.) He’s so broken right now, and Sharon is such a great person and so different from anyone else in his life (even though Rebecca is also different, and Beard is also different, and Roy is also different, and so on), that I could see things getting really fuzzy for him. I continue to have faith in the way the storylines on this show are handled. I’m just. Putting this here.

(In saying that, though, I also wanna make it really clear that I don’t just automatically assume anytime a new female character is introduced that they’re going to end up becoming a romantic complication. Like, Phoebe is allowed to have a teacher who is an attractive woman and AFC Richmond is allowed to have a sports psychologist who is an attractive woman and Keeley is allowed to talk to Jamie Tartt without it threatening what she has with Roy and all these people can exist as human beings without the introduction of romantic drama.)

Isaac gives every player one haircut per season, OH MY GOD. The JOY during the haircut scene. YES.

KEELEY AND REBECCA. Their text thread. The affirming video call right before Rebecca goes into the restaurant. The way Keeley sits all snuggled up against Rebecca in her office.

I was pretty thoroughly spoiled for the Sam and Rebecca plot through 2x8, and I was bracing for something far more problematic and tortured than what happens in this episode. The words I would use to describe their scenes: awkward, cute, cringy, and understandable. There are a million reasons why this relationship isn’t sustainable, but I felt completely understanding of both their choices here. This show has a lot of thesis statements, but I keep going back to the idea from 2x1 that there are people who enter your life to help you get to the next point, and I think it’s entirely possible that Sam and Rebecca will mutually be that for each other.

I find comparisons between Rupert and Rebecca super upsetting. There are absolutely meaningful things to say about the irony of ending up in a situation with an uncomfortable resemblance to certain taboo elements of an ex’s situation. But that ex is abusive and manipulative and cruel and Rebecca has exhibited NONE of those behaviors, and it makes me really sad to think that people feel that the writers on this show have betrayed Rebecca in giving her this storyline.

As always, I reserve the right to keep blathering about this show. I’ve had a headache for a couple of days, but my head is also so full of 2x8 thoughts that I couldn’t keep them in even if the circumstances for writing this were not ideal. I kind of hate that I’ve included frustrated fandom thoughts within the analysis of what I felt was an absolutely gorgeous, complicated, heartbreaking, near-perfect episode of television, but if ya can’t be a little dramatic on your own tumblr while you’re feeling raw and under the weather, where can ya?

[vs-redemption]

From Cindy: This bad boy got away from me and ended up being 3,674 words. I’m really happy with it though and I hope you think so too. It was written for a writing collaboration on Discord ( @konoblog-simps )

Gray - Soulmate AU (Levi Ackerman x GN!Reader)

Read a similar soulmate AU for Levi here

You hated winter.

You supposed people found something magical about the view of fluffy white flakes catching the light as they drifted down from the sky and created a thick white blanket across the ground and trees. However, the fairy tale description was only true when observed from the other side of a window where the protection of four walls and a fireplace could block out the harsh reality.

“Don’t forget the shopping on your way back.” Your grandmother’s raspy voice cuts through the morning silence as you go through the tedious process of bundling up against the frigid weather you knew you’d be facing as soon as you stepped outside. The elderly woman was sitting in her favorite spot on the sofa, lap covered by one of the many blankets she’d made over the years. You grandfather shuffled into the room as if on cue with two piping hot mugs of tea. He hands one to his wife before settling happily into the place next to her.

“I never do.” Your words come out harsher than you’d intended, but your grandparents pay you no mind. They were either used to your attitude or too wrapped up in their own happily ever after. You finish off your ridiculously bulky outfit by shoving a knit cap over your head and then heading out into the cold.

You hated your job

You knew you should be grateful that you had the luxury of owning an apothecary. It was the type of establishment that would never want for business. There was also a certain pride in being able to provide people with medicines to relieve them of their aches and pains, allergies, and illnesses. The difficulty was in being surrounded by the memories of your parents and the perfect life they’d lived, as well as the constant reminder that you’d been robbed of the chance to experience that type of fantasy.

Trudging through the deep wet snow had made you a few minutes late, and there were already a few customers waiting outside the tiny shop you’d inherited by the time you arrived. You apologize politely as you unlock the door and let them inside, shedding the layers of your winter clothes as quickly as you can so that you can get to work. It was always a little busier in the winter months, but finding the right remedy for each person was something you’d gotten good at over time. Most customers came and went without much trouble, but assisting the regulars who’d known you since childhood was always a bit awkward. You did your best not to notice the pity and judgement on their faces as you prepared their orders with the same forced pleasantness as you did for everyone else.

You hated shopping

Having a job that earned enough wages to properly provide for yourself and your family was a blessing most people in your city could not enjoy. Your parents had always made sure to remind you of that fact whenever they came home with baskets full of fresh fruits and vegetables, cheese, bread, and sometimes even meat. As an adult, you still appreciated the fact that you did not have to know hunger, but it was always such a hassle to deal with the crowded market after getting off work.

When your parents had been alive, they had loved going out to run these types of errands together. It had always surprised you how they would choose to spend more time together even after living and working with each other every single day. They never seemed to get tired of each other, and you could remember vividly the way they’d smiled at each other with pure happiness and love in their gaze. It was hard to forget when you saw the same blissful look on every couple you happened to encounter as you went about your day. It made you feel so incredibly alone sometimes, but you did your best to bury those emotions deep down out of fear that they would consume you completely.

“How much is the bread today?” You ask the baker once you make it to the counter through the throngs of people. He tells you the price and begins to wrap up your order when you agree to it.

“You’re lucky,” he tells you conversationally. “This is the last loaf of the day.”

“Tch!” A frustrated sound comes from behind you and you turn around instinctively to make sure nothing was wrong. Standing next to you was a grouchy looking man with silky black hair, styled in an undercut. The long, soft looking strands on the top of his head came down to frame his face, drawing attention to the most important feature; his eyes. You notice right away they are both the identical shade of gray, which told you a lot about him already.

“Were you waiting in line?” You ask curiously even though meeting his sharp gaze directly was a bit intimidating. He regards you critically for a moment before sighing and looking away, probably forming his own judgments based on the incorrect story told by your own eyes.

“It’s fine,” his tone of voice is flat and a little dismissive. “I should’ve gotten here earlier.” He turns to walk away but something makes you call out to stop him.

“Wait,” you give him the friendliest smile you can muster before looking to the baker. “Please, wrap this up for him instead. I insist.” The baker shrugs, not really bothered by the change as long as he got his payment. The scowl on the man’s face gave way to surprise, and you thought the softer look suited him much better. You could see that he was preparing to reject your kindness, so you mutter a quick goodbye before turning away and blending in with the crowd.

You hated your eyes

In the world you lived in, everything revolved around a person’s eyes. They were more than just a mere window into the soul, they were also a glimpse into the future. As a child, you could recall the excitement of your friends as they studied the mismatched colors of each other’s irises, speculating wildly about which shade truly belonged to them and which was borrowed from a stranger that they were destined to meet sometime in the future. Their enthusiasm had been contagious in the beginning, and you’d enjoyed listening to people discuss their predictions about the background, appearance, and personality of their future partner.

“Did you get everything on the list?” Your grandfather asks as he takes the basket of food from you once you finally return home. The walk back from the market had been miserable. Your feet were cold and wet from sloshing through the snow, but the rest of you was warm and sweaty from the exertion of hauling the purchases all the way back while wearing so many thick layers.

“They were out of bread,” You inform him while shrugging out of your coat. A look of displeasure passed over his face but vanished just as quickly when your grandmother called to him from the kitchen. You were relieved that she was volunteering to make dinner this time, because the exhaustion from your day was starting to catch up with you.

You head into the bathroom, ready to warm up with a hot shower and put on a fresh pair of clothes while the meal was prepared. As you wait for the water from the tap to heat up, you catch a glimpse of your reflection in the mirror. Usually you avoided looking at your face for too long, but every now and then you decided to stare back at yourself for a moment. You frown as you meet the gaze of the two identical eyes that you’d be born with. They looked mockingly back at you from the glass, their dull gray hue like a running joke that you’d never found remotely funny.

Washing away the grime of the day helped clear your head of negative thoughts, and soon your mind drifted back to the man you’d helped at the market. The memory of his eyes reminded you that you had made the right decision. He was the one who had someone important waiting for him back at home, possibly even children that needed to be fed and taken care of. You and your grandparents would be just fine as you always had, even if there was a spark of jealousy in you that the man got to have the type of wholesome future that you could never enjoy.

You hated soulmates

The idea of having the comfort of knowing there was someone out there born specifically to fill your life with joy, support, and love was an overwhelming one. It was hard for you to really imagine what it must be like for people to be filled with that nervous anticipation every time they got the opportunity to meet someone new. You’d had secondhand experiences as you watched friends and acquaintances around you find their destinies in one another, but while those meetings spelled out the beginning of something wonderful for them, it only served to make you feel the bleakness of your situation more profoundly.

It was extremely rare for someone to be born without a soulmate, and although your parents tried to have a positive outlook, you had still felt the stigma associated with your condition every single day of your life. It had been impossible to escape the stares and gasps of astonishment from both adults and children alike during you school-age years. Most of them had never seen a child your age with two of the same colored eyes, so it was inevitable that you’d garnered quite a bit of unwanted attention. The people you met were merely curious at first, but as you got older the intrigue turned to pity.

As hard as it was to deal with the people around you who knew the truth, meeting strangers was almost worse. Those who still walked around with duel colored eyes held little interest in someone who had seemingly already found their partner, and everyone else was too preoccupied with their own established lives to pay attention to you at all. In the world you lived in, everything revolved around a person’s eyes. Unfortunately, your eyes had landed you into one of the loneliest roles imaginable.

You hated your luck

It should not have surprised you as much as it did when the man from the market walked into your apothecary a few days later, but considering the fact he’d been popping up in your thoughts sporadically ever since the first meeting, it certainly caught you off guard to see his face again. By the way his familiar gray eyes widened upon seeing you standing behind counter, you guessed he hadn’t been expecting to see you again either.

“Hello again,” you smile awkwardly to try and clear the air. You weren’t sure if it would be weird to mention the bread incident or not.

“Hello,” the man nods, his facial features relaxing into a neutral expression. You were glad he didn’t seem to be as agitated as he’d been in the market. “I’m looking for something that might help my mother. She’s recently fallen ill and nothing I do seems to be helping.”

“What are her symptoms?” The question falls naturally from your lips. As the man describes his mother’s condition, you find yourself taking in his appearance in more detail. His black hair looked as soft as you remembered, but now you were noticing other things like the shape of his nose and sharp angle of his jawline. The clothes he wore were on the nicer side, and it made you wonder what he did for a living. His stature was a bit on the shorter side, and although his build was lean, you got the impression that he was healthy and strong.

“Well, it seems like she may have caught a flu,” you explain once the man finishes speaking. You turn to grab a few items from the shelf behind you and place them on the counter. “These should work to control the symptoms and reduce her fever until her body is able to fight off the infection.”

“Thank you,” he sounds genuine as he pulls out some money to pay for the medicine. You accept the payment, taking note of his long, elegant hands and fingers.

“Not at all,” you assure him with an easy smile. “I hope your mother recovers quickly.”

The man nods in gratitude while scooping up the goods he’d purchased in his hands. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before looking back up to catch your gray eyes with his own.

“My name’s Levi, by the way.” The confidence in his voice did not match the anxious set of his features. “We didn’t get to have a proper introduction the other day.”

“O-oh,” there was no way to conceal the shock you felt in that moment. It was out of the ordinary for anyone to give you their name, especially a man who had obviously had his encounter with fate already. You manage to stutter out your own name, wondering if you were having some sort of intensely realistic dream as you watch the man’s lips twitch into the smallest, briefest of smiles.

“A pleasure to meet you,” he repeats your name to himself thoughtfully. “Have a nice day.” With all his business with you completed, he nods his head and exits your shop, leaving you to try and tame the wild racing of your thoughts and heart.

You hated false hope

It was embarrassing how often you had to remind yourself over the next few days that a person simply introducing themselves to you should not be taken as anything more than polite kindness. You had seemingly lost all control of your mind and feelings though, since scarcely a moment went by now without thoughts of Levi sending butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. It didn’t seem fair that you knew so little about him, but you understood that you’d have to be content with the memory of his ghost of a smile and the echo of the way your name had sounded as it escaped his lips. Part of you hoped you’d never see the man again so that you could get over your delusions as quickly and easily as possible, but another part of you longed to bump into him again.

“What are you doing in here?” Your grandmother walked into the bathroom to find you leaning over the sink, eyes wide open and focused so intensely on your reflection in the mirror that you hadn’t even heard her approach.

“Huh?” you whirl around to face her, finally blinking once you realized how tired your eyes were from the thorough examination you’d just given them. “What did it feel like after you met Grandpa?”

Your stomach sank immediately at the pitying look that grew on the old woman’s face. She reaches out to rub your arm sympathetically with a sad smile. “I’m so sorry sweetie,” is all she tells you before changing the subject completely. “Excuse me now, I need to use the restroom.”

“Right, sorry.” You offer a dry laugh as you move out of her way, reality rushing back like a harsh slap to the face. You’d known all along that you’d never really have a soulmate, but it was hard not to have grasped on to the small shred of a possibility. It hadn’t slipped your attention that Levi also had gray eyes, but plenty of people had the same or similar shade. Besides, the likeliness of soulmates having the same exact eye color was even rarer than someone being born without a soulmate at all. You vowed to keep these cold hard truths at the forefront of your mind from now on, and resigned yourself completely to the fate you’d been dealt.

You loved Levi

It had been a whole week since you’d given up the last loaf of bread that had sent your life into a strange whirlwind of new, unexplored emotions. The days between then and the present had been interesting indeed, but now you were determined to go back to life as normal. The weather wasn’t so terrible today, but you still bundled up to prepare yourself for the cold morning walk to the Apothecary. You arrived at the shop with plenty of time to remove the layers of winter clothes and do a quick inventory of items you’d soon need to restock.

It was around lunchtime when you really started to relax back into your routine. The steady flow of customers had helped to keep your mind occupied, and once things slowed down around midday, you picked up a rag and began to wipe down the counters and windows absentmindedly. The sound of the bell above the door alerted you to someone’s arrival and you quickly tossed down the rag and turned to greet them. Once again, you find yourself startled to be standing in the presence of the man from the market.

“Levi,” you mutter his name before shaking out of your daze. “Excuse me,” you look down and apologize in embarrassment. “Um, can I help you with something? Is your mother feeling better?”

“She’s much better, yes. Thank you.” Levi clears his throat awkwardly and you can’t help but think his posture is stiffer than you remember. You wonder again what he did for a living because he seemed to be a bit overdressed for a simple trip to the apothecary. He looked incredibly handsome in any case, and it was doing nothing to help quiet your wandering imagination.

“I’m glad to hear that,” you weren’t sure what else to say. You walk over to the small faucet behind the counter to wash your hands since you’d just been cleaning. The silence between you both grew more and more uncomfortable until Levi’s face suddenly contorts with frustration. You open your mouth to apologize for whatever you’d done but he cuts you off by coming forward suddenly and placing both hands on the counter.

“Your eyes,” he forces out the words before averting his own gaze. Any hope of keeping yourself grounded in reality seemed to go up in smoke as your heart rate kicked into overdrive.

“Yes?” you say breathlessly and the fact that you weren’t kicking him out for being incredibly inappropriate was enough to spur him on with whatever point he was trying to get to.

“How long?” he swallows thickly and takes a deep breath, “How long since they’ve changed?”

“They’ve always been this way,” it should’ve been harder to admit, but the way Levi was acting was distracting you from the shame you’d normally be feeling. A soft sound, like an intrigued sigh, escapes his lips and he covers his mouth with those beautiful long fingers you’d been trying not to think about. All you can do is stare at him as he comes to terms with the information you’d just revealed. You wondered why he’d even want to know and what he would do now that the truth was out in the open. Finally, after an unbearable stretch of time, Levi lowers his hand back onto the counter, revealing a faint but amused looking smile.

“Well,” his confidence began to return. “They look much better on you than they do on me.”

“What?” Every cell in your body seemed to be buzzing with anticipation. You wanted to believe that this was all leading up to something good, but a nagging fear in the back of your mind warned you against giving in to the false hope that you’d vowed to ignore.

“I was born with these eyes as well,” Levi confesses calmly while gesturing to his face. “Both of them.”

It was your turn to cover your mouth, wondering desperately if it was all right yet to dare to dream that there was meaning behind what was happening after all.

“I have no idea if this is all a coincidence or not,” Levi shrugs as his mouth pulls into a frown. “To be honest, I gave up on the idea of soulmates a long time ago, but I cannot ignore the fact that you’ve consumed my thoughts from the moment I saw you in the market.”

Tears unwittingly begin to blur your vision as all the tension inside you finally reaches a tipping point.

“I…” You aren’t sure whether to laugh or cry. Levi’s hand appears in front of your face, offering a handkerchief. You accept it gratefully and wipe the wetness from your eyes and cheeks. “I didn’t think it was possible, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking of you either.”

Levi folds his arms over his chest as if contemplating the matter seriously, but the pause only lasts a few seconds this time. Before you have time to worry about what he’ll say, he’s offering you his hand.

“Would you like to be my soulmate then?” he asks, a hint of teasing in his voice despite the nervous energy surrounding you both. You don’t hesitate to place your hand into his. You weren’t sure if your matching eyes was a sign that you were meant to be together, but it wouldn’t be fair to either of you to throw away the shot of having the kind of life you’d watched other people enjoy your entire lives. If you were able to bring each other happiness, you could care less if it was what fate had planned.

“Yes,” Your voice shook with the overwhelming emotions coursing through you, “I think I’d like that.”

“As would I,” Levi replies as a real smile takes over his face at last. The hope you see in the depths of his beautiful gray eyes makes you appreciate the matching color of your own for the very first time, and the idea of a happy future finally seems within your grasp.

[princessofprocrastination]

Not Suitable (Quackity)

MASTERLIST

pairing : quackity x female reader

summary : quackity has always had a specific vision of what he wants his partner to look like and certain qualities he wants in them. unfortunately for you, you are the opposite of what he wants. (ANGST) 

-

as a kid, you loved the whole girly look. you wore dresses, short heels that came in a princess toy set, and wore pink lipstick all the time. 

but as time passed, as you grew older, your look changed completely. you like to say that you simply matured, that it wasn’t at all serious. slowly but surely as you were in your teenage years, your favourite colour became black. 

that didn’t mean you didn’t like pink or these other “girly” colours. sometimes, you’d even incorporate some of those bright colours in your outfits to make a statement. you just seemed to like black, it matches with everything. 

although you kept wearing black outfits or have black or dark nail polish on, your hair never stayed black or a dark colour. you just hated the look of the natural colour on yourself. it sure did fit other people, though. 

you liked to describe your style as trendy. you always follow the trends of recent times and wore what you thought looked good on you. 

-

you sat down next to sapnap, dream in the next room. you and sapnap had been friends since highschool. you skipped a grade, making yourself one of the youngest in that class which meant that you were lonely and no one really wanted to make friends with you. 

but that quickly changed when nick came up to you and offered to eat lunch with you. since then, he had been your soulmate. platonic soulmate. 

of course, being friends with nick meant that you were bound to meet the other two boys that he considered his best friends, too. it just so happens that you, george and clay ended up building an amazing friendship really quickly.

three guy bestfriends. that technically equals to having three big, protective big brothers. they really cared about you and you can see that, even if they often make fun of you. 

nick started his stream, facecam on as you sat on an extra gaming chair that clay had next to nick. you typed away on your phone as he started rambling about random things while waiting for more people to come on. 

apparently today you and nick were meant to play some scary game, you controlling the keyboard, him on the mouse. nick often forgot that it takes you a lot to get scared. 

“we’re making this video inspired by quackity and karl’s stream from a while ago.” nick told his stream, you nodding your head to agree. 

you smiled softly at the name he mentioned. quackity. it was apparent to everyone that you had some sort of crush on him. the small smiles, the little blush that rose to your cheeks if someone were to mention your ship name or tease you about it. 

it was all too obvious. of course the three boys you call your best friends knew, you’d never keep such a secret from them. but no matter how annoying the boys can be, they never once told anyone else about your not-so-little crush. 

but that didn’t mean they didn’t tease you. they enjoyed it whenever your face would turn red, whether it being you’re embarrassed or you’re mad. 

the only weird part is that nowadays, they don’t even bother to tease you anymore, not like they used to. you knew they were hiding something from you, you just didn’t know what they were hiding. 

for example, you seated next to sapnap, grinning as he mentions quackity’s name. he would never let you live down that moment. he’d tease you senseless. but this time, he only glanced at you and looked back to the stream.

and what was that? seemed like a pity glance. almost looked like he felt bad. 

you two continued the stream as the ‘scared counter’ keeps going up as sapnap keeps getting scared, you constantly laughing at him. 

“HOW ARE YOU NOT EVEN FLINCHING?” nick screams in your ear. 

“cause i’m not a pussy.” you answered him simply. 

“oh shut up, will you.” he rolled his eyes, you laughed at him being a scaredy-cat. 

you two played for a while more as the counter on the bottom left of the stream screen gets higher and higher. soon enough it reached it’s limit which meant that sapnap needed to end his stream. 

-

it was weird how time works. one second, things were mellow and slow, just like how your everyday is, and the next second, your name was trending everywhere. 

you didn’t even want to check why at first, since you knew how weird and surprising your followers are.

“dude, you need to check twitter.” nick told you in a hurry while he runs from the second floor, to the kitchen in the first floor where you were sitting, editing a video for your channel. 

so you did exactly that. you scrolled through the trending page and clicked on your name. then, you saw hundreds, if not thousands edits and videos of quackity and your video. 

the video of yours that was posted was the part when you smiled at the mention on quackity’s name but as you scrolled more, it seemed that everyone had dug through and collected snippets of you blushing or smiling when quackity was mentioned or when you were on call with him. 

you and quackity were no stranger to each other. the two of you knew each other, sapnap and him being friends and all. you just couldn’t help but fall for him. he’s just extremely charming. 

although your exterior showed otherwise, you really swooned just by looking at his pictures. 

and that’s why all the stans are going crazy. they didn’t think you’d fall for someone, especially not a man who act like a child on the internet. but you can’t predict people, especially not who they like, or more, love. 

you slowly panicked. this was embarrassing to you. more so that it’s all over the internet. there was no way you could erase all of the posts. 

on the outside, you looked composed, like it didn’t effect you at all. but nick knew you well, he knew you had a million thoughts in your head at that point. 

you were just a second close to getting into a panic attack. “hey, hey. calm down, everything’s good.” nick coos in your ear as he pulls you close to him. he knew that you hated to be left alone when you panic. 

you hated this feeling. it felt so unnecessary and it felt like you were making matters bigger than it actually is. 

but the boys would tell you otherwise, they’d make sure that thought leaves your head as soon as it reached.

your body being rocked back and forth helped you calm down as you slowly start to forget the reason of your panic in the first place. 

-

when you do come back to stream regularly, you tried to play off like nothing had happened, like it was all a dream. 

that is one bad habit you couldn’t get rid of for some reason. you liked to just run away from your problems, big or small. you would often play it off like it didn’t matter to you, eventhough it is very much the opposite. 

you’re just scared of getting hurt. you didn’t want to hear the rejection, you could never brace yourself for that kind of pain. 

but somehow this was different. you braced yourself. you didn’t know what drove you to it, but you did. maybe it was the small signs your friends showed you that you never noticed. it was like you knew that rejection was bound to happen, and that this one would hurt the most. 

you told yourself that you would never let yourself get hurt over someone, especially males. it just never made sense. they were never really worth your time, anyways. 

although personally you’ve never ended a relationship of yours badly, just maturely, you’ve read and heard how painful relationships can be. and you never understood why people kept going back into relationships when they hurt so much. 

but you get it. he’s simply addicting. you felt like you couldn’t distance yourself from him. but you needed to. and you knew that. all your friends told you that. 

you weren’t going to let some man put you down because of what you look like. 

granted, it hurt at first, but you learnt to heal, you learnt that although he probably isn’t going to be the only man who hurts you, you needed to suck it up and not show him the pain you felt. you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. 

to summarise it all. quackity finally beat around the bush and came out with a statement on his own on his stream. 

content creators or public figures often learn that they need to leave things for private, that they can’t spill everything out for people to hear. that causes drama. 

but he didn’t stand back at all. everything he thought about you was shared on stream for all his viewers to know. maybe you liked him for his persona after all, not the real him. 

-

“talk about it?” quackity read his donation. 

“sure, i will.” he started. here it comes. 

nick told you that in order to heal and move past the pain quickly, you can’t run away from your problems, to face the current issue. so he made you watch quackity’s stream. 

you didn’t feel like shedding a single tear today because of how exhausted you are from crying for hours on end, but still agreed to your bestfriend’s wishes to sit through a long stream. 

to be honest, you weren’t expecting him to speak on it, given the amount of time he’s waited. it’s been a couple months since it happened so you could only imagine the shock of his viewers when he finally did say something. 

maybe the constant spam finally got to him.

“she’s not my type, chat.” he said. oh, that wasn’t so bad. no pain just yet. 

“she’s far from it.” okay that pinched you a little. were you really that bad. you waited for his explanation. 

“she looks so emo all the time, it’s scares me. does she ever not wear black?” ouch. and yes, yes you do.

“she’s just not what i like in women. i like soft girls who are respectful and know when to keep their mouth shut and definitely a little more conservative.” whoa. okay, maybe that hurt extra than the rest. 

you turned to nick, he had the same shocked look on his face, clearly not expecting to hear that come out of his good friend’s mouth, especially on stream. 

quackity doesn’t end there. he pulls out his phone, typing away. soon he pulled up a picture of you from your instagram account, showing his stream. 

“she looks like she barely graduated highschool. she’s not one with a future, chat. just stop shipping us. i don’t like that.” he finally finishes, locking his phone and putting it down, continuing playing his game from earlier. 

you closed your eyes for a while, trying to process it all. 

“are you going to cry?” your bestfriend says from next to you. you shook your head. 

“i’m furious.” you told him, voice soft but slightly menacing. 

“holy shit. i’ve been waiting for this.” nick says, jumping in his seat. you knew exactly what he meant. 

you aren’t the type to get mad. you only got mad jokingly. and as much as you look emo and depressed all the time, you’re practically a walking sunshine, you just don’t show it due to your resting bitch face. 

and although nick and you have been friends for god knows how long, it wasn’t often he saw you mad. and it excites him to see you enraged, to say the least. to him, you always ‘pop off’ when you’re mad. 

you made sure you cooled off slightly before you go off on the man. you didn’t want to do things you would regret, after all. but to you, you didn’t think you’d regret anything at this point. 

you waited a couple days before you tweeted something. 

it was simple, your tweet. just two photos. first, it was a photo of your acceptance letter to harvard law school from a year ago, followed by a photo of you carrying thick and heavy textbooks for school that was taken by nick when he visited you in campus. 

it was captioned, “not one with a future.” simple, but it was obvious that this was going to blow up. you looked up from your phone to nick before you tweeted it. 

you two shared a smile. a grin, if you will. it was like the two of you knew what that tweet would do. 

you knew this was going to be surprising to your followers, too. you’ve never spoken about going to school after highschool. sure, if they scrolled far enough on your channel and listened through everything, they might know you skipped grades, which was the reason you met nick but most of them didn’t know. and you didn’t blame them. 

what you would blame them for is that they sat and listened to everything quackity said in that stream. they all thought you were just one dumb, depressed girl who had no future. one that relied on a social media career. 

only if they knew how wrong they are. well, that didn’t matter now. they all knew. 

that was the only tweet you sent out regarding the matter. you didn’t want to prolong it, it isn’t worth your time.

when you did stream a couple days after you sent out that tweet, your twitch viewers sky-rocketed. it was weird, almost. but they weren’t there to patronise you. the opposite, really. they said sweet words, donated generous amounts and gifted plenty of subs. 

you would answer questions as donations slowly came in. and one in particular caught you eye.

“why aren’t you in school.” the monotoned woman asked. 

“i’m not currently in school because it is closed due to the pandemic. but i’m currently attending it online.” you answered swiftly, not really focused on the question but more to the parkour you were doing. 

from time to time, your eyes glanced at your chat to see if they said anything that caught your eye, apart from the ones that bashed you for liking their favourite content creator. 

it cracked you up to see how far stans would go to protect their favourite creators. granted, it made you feel a little envious seeing how many people unfollowed you when the drama happened. you wanted to know just who would stand with you, besides your actual friends. 

“what would you describe your style?” the monotonous woman spoke once again as a donation came in. 

“thank you for the 10.” you started, and then pausing to actually think about it before you answered. 

“i think my style is a little more dark but not emo, as most people call it. i also don’t dress conservative.” you finished, feeling good about your answer. 

you were not brought up in a conservative family, so that was shown in the way you dressed. no, you never really left the house in your bra and jeans, not saying that style isn’t cute, but you never stopped yourself from showing a little bit of skin. 

you also were not the type to get insecure, so reading through comments on your posts have never really affected you. but there was something about the comment quackity said that made you rethink about a lot of things. 

you hated that feeling, though. you hated that you let a man say things about you and made you feel apologetic about it. you knew it should never be like that. why did you let a man step all over you? it irked you that you stooped so low. 

things also never got easy after the little drama. sure, you gained a little more publicity, but you felt nauseous knowing what attracted them. you’re just now constantly reminded how you got a higher number of following. 

nonetheless, you’re grateful for the platform given to you, although this wasn’t the path you chose to take. 

it didn’t take you long to recover from the tiny insecurity you found yourself having. you started not caring even more, posting even more photos of you. some might say you grew to be a narcissist. 

but you enjoyed it. it showed people just how much you grew and learnt from what happened. 

you’re glad you moved forward from it and never dwelled on the things he said about you. 

also, did you mention that quackity apologised? 

guess not. 

Part 2

[eggrestes]

ladrien fic recs!

there are SO MANY amazing ladrien fics i cant possibly cover them all but here are a few!

(all the ratings used are ao3 ratings)

((this is a very long post!))

FLUFF

Of Ivy and Sunlight by cyanise [ T, 1509 words, 1/1 ]

When Adrien takes to wandering the streets of Paris in ungodly hours, Ladybug has no choice but to keep an eye on him. Still, things are bound to get a little out of hand between two overloaded teenagers with a lot of love and not enough self-control. 

a lovely post-chat blanc fic :’) it has a great flow and is just soft and so sweet and it’s just perfect. gosh i cannot really say more other than read it!!! also almost all of their other stuff is also ladrien so do check it out!

This can't be happening by PlaPla [ T,  6,467 words, 1/2 ]

Ladybug is unsure whether accompanying Adrien to a gala as his not-date is the best or worst thing that has ever happened to her. But when their table mates turn out to be none other than her long time friends Alya and Nino and with Adrien acting weirder and weirder she finds herself with bigger worries than an unrequited crush.

a djwifi/ladrien double date? hit me up! i love identity shenanigans, ball dancing, ladrien, and djwifi and this is a perfect mix for me. i know it’s incomplete but it doesn’t end in a cliff-hanger really, the part 2 is just a promise of more so it doesn’t feel incomplete! PlaPla also has a short oneshot of ladrien going for a motorcycle ride.

Falling again by emsylcatac [ M,  4,506 words, 2 Works ]

They had been dancing around each other for a while now, and while fifteen year old Adrien would have been ecstatic at the idea of dating Ladybug in secret, twenty-two year old Adrien knew better. But Ladybug wasn’t making it easy. It was like… she, too, was falling for him. And that surprisingly enough, she didn’t mind.

* * *

Or Adrien trying (and failing) to keep things professional between him and Ladybug when the two of them partner up for a mission. Older AU

things are a little steamy~ here (don’t worry, it’s only implied it’s very mild and closer to a T rating than the M) but it’s a great mature take on their dynamics! emsy has more ladrien one-shots in her collection of one-shots!

i'd love to go on a date with you by sae_what  [ G,  6,480 words, 1/1 ]

Once it had been falsely announced throughout Paris that Adrien and Ladybug are in a relationship, Ladybug pays him a visit to turn him down gently.

Only, she doesn’t. And instead, she has a formal dinner date. With Adrien. At 8 pm. Tonight.

LADYBUG IN A SUIT!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. okay but for real it’s so sweet and also??? they are on a date!!! a rooftop date!! (too man exclamation marks oops)

Always Welcome by  chatonne-rousse [ T, 1,683 words, 1/1 ]

Ladybug knows that Adrien's window is always open for her to swing by and stop in, whether for video games or a chat or, like tonight, for soft kisses and sweet nothings.

He loves these visits. His girlfriend is always welcome. Always. (Especially for kisses.)

Written for Ladrien June, day 8: bluebell eyes.

established relationship, pre-reveal ladrien. there is something very home-y about this fic and it’s all about the comfort and quiet that i adore about it!

Five Times Gabriel Agreste Caught Ladybug in His Son’s Bedroom (and the One Time He Caught Chat Noir) by agrestenoir [ T,  1,923 words, 1/1]

Gabriel Agreste keeps finding Ladybug in his son's bedroom. As a super villain and father, this will not stand.

this crack fic is... honestly so hilarious. it’s all through gabrie-i-am-trying-to-parent-and-failing-a-lot-agreste’s POV so it is so much ridiculous! 

an uncurtain discovery by  Missnoodles [ T, 4,684 words, 1/1 ]

When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.

(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)

Adrien is being a cat and gets tangled in the curtains on his window and it’s utterly ridiculous. all the bug and the cat tendencies make it funnier and adrien’s inner monologue is just a cherry on top!

secret valentine by a_miiraculer [ T,  12,245 words, 1/1 ]

this is the moment that we will come alive brace yourself for love sweet love, secret love

If Adrien had known that getting himself stuck in a tree would end like this, he would've gotten himself stuck sooner.

A drabble series.

i just,,,, don’t have words for how much i love it! it’s ridiculous, it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s whole-some and just ladrien. the writer also has a M rated multi-chapter ladrien kissing (no the M is very much real here) and a heroic adrien and ladybug one-shot too! 

Those Benevolent Stars by peachcitt [ G,  23,696 words, 3/3 ]

“Will you come back?”

She looked up at the deep blue sky, as if she could somehow find the answer there. “I shouldn’t,” she said, shaking her head and looking back at him. But the stars were still there, caught in her eyes, and Adrien persisted.

“But will you?”

or

adrien meets his soulmate, a thief who calls herself ladybug. he falls for her, but she seems determined to maintain a space between them.

oh my god this au.... just no words!! it’s poetry and it’s tender and it’s about the yearning and just!!! perfect :’). Her current ongoing ladrien june fic is also akin to this (and the fic i linked before it) so do check it out too! (literally check out all of their works it’s so beautiful)

Flowers on the Window Sill by LNC [ G,  2,144 words, 1/1 ]

The first time Ladybug saw him, really saw him, the universe stopped.

this fic feels like poetry and it’s so lovely. LNC is always short and direct but it always hits right in the feels while also being hilarious. Her  other ladrien works are just as good and i highly recommend going through them because it fulfills all of the ladrien needs (along with Reiaji)

whatever a sun will always sing is you by komorebirei [ T,  32,980 words, 37/37 ]

“I didn't think you'd actually... do anything," Adrien admitted, cheeks prickling with warmth. "I-I mean, I never expected... I didn't know you watched my interviews.” That definitely wasn’t how he'd imagined confessing to Ladybug.

“Of course I do!” Ladybug squeaked. “Uhh, that is…” She looked down at her hands, nervously turning her yo-yo over, over and over. “Maybe you’re not the only one with a crush.”

(After an unexpected confession, Ladybug and Adrien start dating in secret. A progressive character- and relationship-study quilted from drabbles, with the intention of digging treasure out of the cove that is Ladrien. Written using kashimalin-fanfiction's kiss writing prompts from Tumblr.)

it does such an excellent job at exploring this dynamic along with the characters. it’s such a sweet fic, each chapter short and fun!

ANGST

whose woods these are (I think I know.) by  Reiaji [ T,  105,000 words, 25/25 ]

Four years after his future turns to cinders, Adrien is a servant in the house he was meant to inherit. Disowned by his father and abused by his stepmother, his days are filled with drudgery until he meets a masked huntress in the forest behind his father's chateau.

As his friendship with Ladybug turns to first love, he dreams of a future spent at her side.

Then, on the eve of the Princess's masquerade, he meets his guardian—and is granted a wish.

[Ladrien Cinderella AU]

Warnings: Child abuse, Graphic depiction of violence

this is absolutely gorgeous. it has so many troupes and so many amazing character arc and great build up and everything just flows so well. it left me in awe for weeks and i just. want to experience reading it for the first time again. look at this gorgeous art inspired by this! {and you have to read  leonard bernstein too because LETTERS and LADRIEN and YEARNING}

i would do it again (oh, a thousand times) by bugabisous [ T, 2,266 words, 1/1 ]

Knowing you can bring someone back doesn’t mean you’re free of the pain of seeing them disappear before your eyes. He can’t imagine he’ll be able to look at her directly without replaying every horrifying moment when he felt her slip away in a puff of smoke.

When it happens once again, he already knows he’ll be trying again. He just can’t give up.

it expands on adrien’s feelings in the episode desperada (my beloved <3) and it is just ouch. such great angst, such great potential. the kind of tragedy that it offers is unusual for ml (it gets only rivaled by chat blanc tbh). to rival this angst bugabisous also has a fluffy one-shot :)

when the world gets too heavy (put it on my back) by Taliax [ T, 4,720 words, 1/1 ]

Chat Noir isn't allowed to cry over his father. But even when he's just Adrien, Ladybug won't abandon him.

Hawkmoth reveal hurt/comfort + Ladrien

the plagg and adrien bond written is just perfect, and oh this hits right in the feels :’) it hurts all in the right way. tali also has so many other ladrien works in all genres too

By Your Side by omniousunflower [ T, 4,361 words, 1/1 ]

(Angry and alone, Adrien waits on top of the Eiffel Tower for his lady.)

“So, how did my kitty get stranded up here?” Ladybug asks.

Groaning, Adrien pulls his knees toward his chest and presses his face against them. “Because he’s stupid and impulsive.”

“Chasing pigeons, then?”

“No.” Shame burns in Adrien’s veins, white-hot now that Ladybug is here to witness his stupidity. “I threw my Miraculous, and Plagg wouldn’t get it for me.”

post-hawkmoth defeat, and adrien is not doing well at all. i am cheating because it is post reveal, pre relationship but it’s still ladrien. this fic is a roller coater of emotions, starting from a slightly crack scenario to a cute, awkward, hopeful ending.  More Than You Know is another of sunny’s angsty ladrien work!

Breaking The Rules (AKA The Ladrien Fistfight) by ThisKwamiNeeds_aNap [ T, 8,714 words, 1/1 ]

Marinette may or may not be dying, but she’s still going to do her best to fix every single problem in the world. She’s not expecting Adrien to be the one who tries to stop her. (Takes place immediately after Kwami Buster)

Warnings: panic attack, broken bones, PTSD. please read the tags!

*slaps this fic* this fic can fit in so much angst. it just?? left me in PAIN oof. it says ‘ladrien fistfight’ on the lid but nooo there is marinette is just having a freak out and it’s all so much??!! and it’s not just marinette there is adrien too and chloe and alya and- wow it’s amazing. love it so much it fills up my angst needs :’)

so that’s it for now! my personal commentary isn’t impressive nor does it do justice to the fic but i still hope you read a few of these!! happy reading!!

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for July 2021! Below you’ll find One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​.

Happy reading!

Game Changer by @neondiamond

[Harry/Louis, 6k, Mature, tumblr post]

“Did the doctor say what was wrong with you?”

“He thought I was pregnant,” Louis scoffs. “Told me to go home and take a test, a pregnancy test, Haz. Can you imagine the nerve it takes for him to even think that?”

Harry looks lost in his thoughts for a few seconds. “Did you? Take a test, I mean?”

“Of course I didn’t.”

OR: A couple months before playing in his first long-awaited World Cup, Louis finds out he’s pregnant. Harry’s there for the ride.

(I Was Broke) You Healed Me by @fallinglikethis

[Harry/Niall, 12k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Niall Horan is an unmated pregnant omega living on his own after his alpha boyfriend leaves him. Far from his family and friends in Ireland, Niall is stuck living in a complex for Alpha/Omega bondmates, terrified every day of being found out by his landlord.As if that isn't enough, he's suffering from touch deprivation. Luckily, Niall's doctor can at least help him with that part: she prescribes Niall some cuddle sessions. It's only a little weird that the person she's prescribing him is her brother. Or maybe that's actually a little bit perfect.

The Only Pain in Pleasure is the Pleasure of the Pain by Layne Faire / @laynefaire

[Liam/Zayn, 10k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Liam had followed InZaynity, an artist's Instagram, for ages. Not only was the artist incredibly talented, his voice poured over Liam like warm honey on a winter's night, and his hands were the stuff Liam's wank dreams were made of. However, having Zayn unexpectedly arrive as the newest artist at his best friend's tattoo shop brought Liam's fantasies and reality a little too close for comfort.

Zayn Malik met his boss' friend on his first day at Fine Line Tattoos, and felt an instant attraction. Unfortunately, given Liam's unwillingness to even hold a conversation with him, Zayn was certain the feelings weren't reciprocal. Or were they?

When Liam's new tattoo design falls outside the scope of Tommo's talent, and he recommends Zayn do it, Liam reluctantly agrees. Surely he could manage to spend hours in Zayn's company without revealing his biggest secret, right? Right?

Blow Me Away by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

[Louis/Liam, 6k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis likes giving blow jobs.

He doesn't exactly get off on it – he's been with people who properly loved it, and he's not quite that into it – but he doesn't mind the feel or the taste and he really, really likes watching his partner lose it, so getting down on his knees regularly is a no brainer.

Which is why it's a bit frustrating that every time he does, Liam hauls him back up again.

Why Didn't We Make Out the Night We Met? by @berzerkshires

[Louis/Harry, 52k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis and Harry meet in an alley outside the hotel Louis is staying for the weekend. Harry introduces himself as Ed, and Louis is completely clueless. They have a relationship through text messages, phone calls, shared pictures and Facetime calls. Is a cell phone being the only source of communication enough? Will Louis ever learn that he's really talking to an international popstar? And what happens when the world is shutdown due to a wide spread virus?

I Love This Feeling (But I Hate This Part) by @lululawrence

[Harry/Louis, 7k, Not rated, tumblr post]

“Stand up.”

Harry stood up from the couch, not a moment’s delay.

“Oh my god, is that what that’s like?” Harry turned to Louis, surprise on his face. “I really thought they were somehow exaggerating, but it really is an automatic response with absolutely no thought from me behind it whatsoever.”

Louis sighed again. “You really wanna keep doing this? Have me use my alpha voice on you so you can work on resisting it?”

“Yup,” Harry said, clapping his hands and smiling. “How else am I going to be able to have any chance at reducing the power an alpha voice has on me?”

I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right by @lululawrence

[Liam/Nick Grimshaw, 4k, Not rated, tumblr post]

Nick was a bit of a disaster, but she was used to it.

Or so she thought. She had never known how much she could struggle just to function until the new fire lady goddess angel person winked at her.

Oh, Those Summer Nights by cherrylarry / @beelou

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

“Are you okay?” He kneels down to inspect where Harry still has his hand pressed against his head.

“Oh! Yeah, I’m fine.”

“My name’s Louis. Can I buy you dinner or something to make up for hitting you in the head?”

Harry crinkles his eyebrows. “Me?”

Louis chuckles. “Yes, you. If you’d like?”

“Yeah. That would be nice.” Harry smiles so that his dimples show. “I’m Harry.”

“Harry, it's a date, then." Louis grins.

An extended scene of the beginning of the movie Grease as a larry au

people fall in love in mysterious ways (maybe just the touch of a hand) by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers, @justalarryblog / Bekita, @bluecolouredlou , @beelou / cherrylarry, @thedevilinmybrain / devilinmybrain, @hershelsue / docklands, @foreverfanficaddict,@idolizingthelight / idolizingthelightt, @inlockets / loveroflou, @perfectdagger, @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 13k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Set in a world where meeting your soulmate causes a literal spark, Louis Tomlinson has no time for fate. He knows all too well the heartbreak that having a soulmate can bring and he'd rather avoid the whole affair. But, when a chance meeting with up-and-coming popstar, Harry Styles, causes the biggest electrical surge the world has ever seen, Louis must confront the truth that sometimes destiny knocks when you least expect it.

Somehow, Someway by @zanniscaramouche

[Louis/Harry, 16k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Louis Tomlinson has everything all figured out for a smooth post-graduation sailing into the perfect career in the music industry. A canceled class, a high school play, and a disarming set of dimples were not part of the plan. (Especially when they belong to a boy wearing someone else’s jacket.)

Featuring: A punk with the worst timed crush in history, that moody art kid that never shares cigarettes, the cutest pastel-pink wearing boy on the planet, and his unfortunately nice bottle-blond jock of a boyfriend.

Forts & Fortunes by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

It’s finals week at uni and Harry is struggling to find a healthy balance between studying and tending to his needs. Lucky for him, Louis is there to help him out with that.

One way to reduce tension by @neondiamond

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry knows of a few ways to help Louis get rid of some pent up stress…

We Got a Call by @greenblueish / bluegreenish

[Louis/Harry, 24k, Mature, tumblr post]

“Fisher from St Peter hospital, hello. Is this Mr Tomlinson?”

Louis’ eyebrows furrow in concern. Why is the hospital calling him? Has someone he knows been in an accident? “Uh, yes?”

“Great. Your results are in. Congratulations, you’re pregnant!”

“Pregnant?” he chokes, the word almost getting caught in his throat.

“Yes, without doubt,” the woman from the hospital confirms, her voice neutral but somehow chirpy. “I recommend promptly booking an appointment with your ob/gyn to discuss how to proceed.”

"I...Yeah, I’ll talk to my … partner.”

or, the one where Louis and Harry Tomlinson are married and Louis accepts a phone call that was definitely meant for his husband.

How Long Will We Fall (Before We Can Climb) by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 860 words, General, tumblr post]

Louis' faith in Harry is unbreakable. When they get caught kissing and he is thrown out of his home forever, he has to learn to have faith in himself.

Rope, Leather and Lipstick by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 552 words, Mature, tumblr post]

Something about ropes around wrists, and tinting skin the colour of strawberry ice cream, tender and kissed by dark lips. Smudging sticky red lipstick across the slight blue shadow of veins, and assuring hands tightening knots.

Lies & Liability by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 34k, Mature, tumblr post]

Harry Styles has only three wishes when he leaves River Dane Manor to go to Town for his first season: that his sister has rented a townhouse that will provide him as many of the comforts of the country life he has grown accustomed to as possible, that he will not trip and fall when he is presented to Her Majesty the Queen, and that he will enter matrimony out of true love, no matter how favourable the match with any which alpha may be.

Sugar at Night by @brightgolden

[Harry/Louis, 33k, Explicit, tumblr post]

With a year left before he completes his degree, a wonderful fiancé, and a baby coming soon, life is going exceptionally well for Harry Styles.

But, the truth always has a way to unravel itself, doesn’t it?

So, what do you do when the person you fell in love with is not the person you thought they were?

I got myself in a mess (and without you I'm in more) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Zayn/Liam, 9k, Mature, tumblr post]

It’s not desire that has his synapses firing. It’s not the urge to jump him that makes him feel jittery.

It’s the fact that everything about this man - a nice, unassuming guy on Tinder, who studied IT and who seemed like a safe choice - screams danger. It’s the fact that Zayn has been absently touching his necklace for what feels like half the night now.

The necklace. Thank God for Lou, honestly. He’d laughed a bit, at first, when Louis had given it to him, when he’d explained all about the app that it was connected to, the emergency contacts that would be notified and sent his exact location “if you just double tap the back of the charm, see” because Louis was that friend, the mom friend, but right now? Right now Zayn will gladly take the gentle ribbing from Louis if it means he won’t have to spend another moment with this guy.

I don't care if the world knows by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Harry is fourteen when she buys her first binder. She’s been doing cosplay videos on Tiktok for a while at that point, and it seems like the logical choice. Not that there’s anything wrong with cosplaying characters of the opposite gender and not wanting to fully look like them, she’s seen plenty of wonderful creators put their own spin on characters in a way that transcends the source material, but when it comes to her own cosplays -

She just likes it to be accurate.

She likes her chest to be flat, not soft and curvy, when she’s wearing her Crowley cosplay, or when she’s transformed herself into Loki.

It’s all about the aesthetics.

∞

Over the course of a few years, Harry explores and comes to terms with gender identity.

It’s Probably Because I’ve Got a Big Lesbian Crush on You by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Harry's never really concerned herself with being part of the popular crowd. But as the new girl in school the second semester of her junior year, she finds herself unwittingly competing for Queen Bee status against high school royalty Louis Tomlinson. Maybe there's more to their rivalry than it seems.

A not-quite-Mean Girls AU

Going Green (so fucking green) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Louis/Harry, 5k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry just really loves being used, and Louis really loves Harry. Who is he to deny him?

Or: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle but make it BDSM

the next bit was spanners to my plan by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

[Louis/Nick Grimshaw, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

The first time was an accident. The second time was an accident too.

Or: Louis and Nick end up shagging on the sly, everyone sends far too many emojis and far too few words, and eventually they're going to have to sort themselves out.

Trust Me Tonight by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Explicit, tumblr post]

After Harry’s eighteenth birthday, his father calls him into a meeting to say that he is to be married to Prince Louis of France in just over a week.

Harry is excited, of course. The arrangement is better than any he could’ve hoped for, with such a young, handsome and kind husband.

There is just one issue: Harry doesn’t know what happens on his nuptials, or how to get pregnant to give Louis the heir that he needs.

Can we make it any more obvious? by LouStylesHTommo / @smolhilariousbeans

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Five times the boys accidentally walked in on Harry & Louis plus one time they did it on purpose.

Aka Niall, Zayn, Liam being supportive of Lou&H sexy shenanigans.

darling just dive right in by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Zayn/Louis, 5k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Louis can’t think of a worse place to be than at the Malik estate, attending his ex boyfriend's wedding.

Shining just for you by ThoseFookin_Avacados / @hlhome28

[Harry/Louis, 1k, General, tumblr post]

For a clumsy person, Harry danced with quite the grace- spinning around Louis, billowy light robes brushing against his firm darker ones. Despite his slightly smaller build, Louis was decivingly strong, his grip on Harry's waist tight as they performed their steps in sync. Like two opposite halves of a whole, like ones reflection in the mirror, like the sun and the moon.

Part 2 of the Prompt Generator series

crown me with your heart (your love is king) by @perfectdagger

[Louis/Harry, 41k, General, tumblr post]

The universe must’ve had a field day when it decided to plan Harry’s life. There was no plausible explanation for anything that happened in his life anymore. Try as he may, he would never be able to control his life nor predict what would happen next. What were the odds that the one person he was sure he had fallen in love with but had completely let him slip out of his life, already resigned to the fact nothing could ever evolve between them due to Harry’s future with Eroda, happened to be the same person who had Harry’s future in his hand?

A The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Wedding au in which Harry is the Crown Prince of the small island of Eroda and Louis’ uncle is trying to take the throne from him, with a slight a/b/o twist and some more.

[saturnsummer]

soulmates: an analysis of han joon hwi and kang sol a

aka: why i am either ways going to be satisfied with no confession or having a confession scene. 

please don’t come for me, i’m just expressing my thoughts this! i’m a big solhwi shipper, but viewing this in a different perspective is a possibility too. 

firstly, we have to address kim beom and ryu hye young’s interview here, specifically from 1:02. kim beom describes the relationship as “going further than the relationship between the opposite gender.” specifically summed into a simple word: soulmates.

as we watch the show, from sol’s first interaction with joon when she begs him to save her life, we see the relationship slowly grow. we see her and him working in sync. we see joon caring for her, helping her with cases. 

the same thing about sharing pain. when professor yang is almost dying, sol is frantic and hurting, knowing how much yang must be suffering and how she wants to save him. joon, understanding her, runs after her, then further stays with her until she has calmed down. he did that, because he shared her feelings, and understood how much yang meant to sol.

throughout, we see joon acting flirty, giving smiles and heart eyes to sol, while sol only brushes them away and gives an occasional return. but we have to remember: joon could be like this in nature. 

in the beginning, we witness a scene of joon helping sol b put on her spectacles. a small win for solbxjoonhwiw shippers, but it also brings out an important feature. being caring, good hearted, and naturally flirty might be in joon’s nature. it’s further backed up by his protection of yeseul over yeongchang. when he is being labelled ‘two-timer’, he doesn’t show shock, but just embraces it, knowing how his actions, being protective to his friends and caring, could be misinterpreted in many eyes.

thus, i take with a grain of salt every physical interaction that joon has with sol. that maybe he has feelings, maybe they are just best friends. 

thus leading to my point on soulmates. 

i have read enough pics and analysis to know soulmates. soulmates aren't just romantic partners or your spouse. they are that person you are willing to go through hell and back for. it could be a best friend, it could be a family member, it could be romantic. but not all soulmates are romantic partners. soulmates extend beyond “i love you” and “i will be with you for life, till death do us apart”. soulmates means “i will stand by you, even if you are ostracised, ruined, broken and the world is against us. it's not only because i love you (romantically or not), but because i trust you. i believe you. i trust your actions, your morals, and everything you are.” 

as shown, joon and sol have a high amount of trust for one another. sol trust joon enough to reveal her private life and that she has a twin to him. sol trusts him to walk her home and tells him her thoughts and feelings, without a filter. joon trust her enough to let her be the first few persons to be involved on his uncle’s murder mystery. joon lets sol help, knowing she will handle it well because of this unsaid trust. 

a confession scene will confirm that he is flirty, or specifically, more flirty and caring around sol. it confirms their feelings that, yes, those damm dumbos are in love and everyone knows it, except them. 

however, i will not be too surprised if it doesn't happen. a murder mystery, multiple cases, estranged (injured) siblings, a missing son in states, a whole assemblyman to take down, as well as finding out who is the mastermind behind this chess game. this adds on to sol’s financial problem, yeseul’s pressing of charges, yebeom’s reveal of being a inner spy, solb and her mommy issues, and seungjae’s involvement in all of this. coupled with how the law school is coping, how all of them are going to be viewed and more.  

it’s too overwhelming to tie up the loose ends AND add a confession scene. i would suspect that it will be very rushed.

with that said, will a season 2 be likely?

i would imagine, it’s about a 70% chance. looking at reviews, it is highly rated on netflix and quite well liked by k-netizens. however, if not marketed well, a season 2 may flop and end in a ditch somewhere. there is definitely expansion on season 2. (what is seungjae doing now? how is his relationship with his wife? will dan reconnect with sol? how about professor kang?) for there to be an actual plot and depth to it, some endings may have to be left untied, or someone will have to be killed, in an attempt to cover up a deeper conspiracy. 

in my own opinion, i would definitely love a season 2. i would love to see these students grow and graduate. i want to see them at their full potential and embark on their road to law professionals. while the love line between bokgi and yeseul, jiho and solb, and our beloved solhwi is secondary, i would want to see further interactions on yeseul trusting bokgi, solb and jiho having their own moments, and of course solhwi. 

it's been a journey, so conclusion: a season 2 is very much wanted!! thank you for reading this for those who read this. do let me know how you feel and your thoughts! i respect everyone’s thoughts equally, and would love to hear from you all.

[tennessoui]

omgggg yes number 45 gimme some number 45 obikin PLEASE

ok,,,,,,this is no. 1 Soulmates + no.45 in love with best friend's partner but it kinda got away from me so it's almost 2k and also like there's world-building im awful at snippets. This is obikin but also mentions of qui-gon/anakin BUT it's a fake relationship. it's not in the story, but the premise obi-wan doesn't know is that anakin needed coruscanti citizenship to get their healthcare for his mom, and qui-gon decides to help him out by marrying him to give him automatic citizenship i uh might continue this if people like it because it was fun to write whoops

“We met at the spaceport three days ago,” Anakin says with a demure little smile, curling further into Qui-Gon’s outstretched arm. The soft lamplight glints off the golden band Anakin’s wearing on his finger. Obi-Wan has had a hard time looking anywhere else since arriving in his old master’s quarters, has had a hard time thinking of anything else except that he’d always imagined Anakin wearing a more bronzed shade of gold.

It had been a shock to hear that while Obi-Wan had been out on a mission, Qui-Gon had returned to Coruscant with a husband in tow. Yes, alright, short courtships aren’t rare anywhere in the galaxy, especially between soulmates.

But Obi-Wan knows intimately well--better than anyone else in this room--that Anakin and Qui-Gon aren’t, in fact, soulmates.

Mace seems to be thinking the same thing because he states, with a slight question in his voice, “I was under the impression that your soulmate had passed into the Force, Qui-Gon.”

“We’re not soulmates,” Qui-Gon corrects placidly, arm moving away from Anakin’s shoulders--Obi-Wan can breathe again--so he can fiddle with the cuff around his wrist, which hides the faded name of his mate. “But now that the Jedi Order has lifted its marriage ban for non-Soulmate couples, I thought, why spend the rest of my life alone?”

Anakin catches Qui-Gon’s hand and places a kiss on the back of his fingers. Obi-Wan is going to scream.

When Anakin looks up to the assembled Jedi watching, he doesn’t look at Obi-Wan once. It’s the worst thing in the galaxy, the fact that other than very briefly an hour ago, Anakin hasn’t looked at him at all. It’s been five years. “And I’ve met my soulmate, but they…decided they didn’t want to stay with me, that they didn’t want me.”

Obi-Wan inhales sharply at this and forgets to bite his tongue. “Maybe your soulmate had other obligations that they had to fulfill,” Obi-Wan bites out.

He’d thought Anakin ignoring him had been awful, but that’s nothing compared to the pain of having him look at him with eyes as cold as Hoth. “I think I’d know more about my soulmate than you would, master Jedi. Ah, I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.”

Obi-Wan almost tells him to check his wrist if he needs a reminder about Obi-Wan’s name, but the words get stuck in his throat.

It’s probably for the best.

Obi-Wan’s spent five years and the duration of a war hiding the name of his soulmate from the Jedi Order, and he can’t say it now. His other half has made it quite clear that he can’t say it now.

“Excuse me,” Obi-Wan says, standing suddenly. He knows he should stay, should sit through the rest of the intake interview the Council gives to all non-Jedi sentients that marry a Jedi, soulmates or no, but he can’t. He’s the youngest person to sit on the Council in written history, he’s survived a war, trained the stubbornest Padawan of her generation, and this--this--looking across the table at Anakin Skywalker, dolled up and petty and full of hatred for him as he wears another man’s ring, Obi-Wan’s former master’s ring--this is going to be the thing that kills him.

Luckily, no one tries to stop him as he leaves. Maybe they think he’s just reacting to the fact that his fifty-eight year old master came home with a twenty-five year old husband. Maybe everything he’s feeling is written out on his face. Maybe he should never have tried to hide Anakin away. Maybe he should have called for extraction from his deep cover mission as soon as their hands had touched and their soulmarks had appeared. Maybe these past seven years should never have happened.

Force knows Obi-Wan would sleep easier if he had never walked into that Tatooine bar. If he had never met Anakin Skywalker.

He tries to meditate in his favorite spot in the Room of A Thousand Fountains, but it’s an impossible task. Mostly, he sits in a classic lotus position and broods.

A few hours later, when Obi-Wan thinks he’s recovered some of his composure, the person who’s always been able to ruin it sits himself down in front of him with a lot of unnecessary noise.

“When you talked about this place, I thought it sounded like the biggest waste of water in the entire galaxy,” Anakin’s voice sounds...normal. Like they’re picking up the thread of a conversation they had just dropped a moment ago, as if five years and a wedding and a war don’t stretch between them.

But if Anakin wants to talk to Obi-Wan like they had before, he’ll try his hardest to meet him there. Slowly, he opens his eyes. Anakin’s lounging back, still wearing the ceremonial robes of a Jedi’s bride, the loose blue silk barely hanging onto one of his shoulders. Obi-Wan wants to close his eyes again, immediately. “The greenery wouldn’t be able to survive without the water.”

Anakin nods, looking around as if slightly disinterested by it all. When he’d been eighteen, he’d soaked up every story Obi-Wan could tell him about the Temple, about the Jedi. Those piercing blue eyes find him again. It’s as if he knows Obi-Wan’s thoughts, because he smiles in the most humorless way. “I used to think I’d live here, and then I could see for myself if the beauty was worth the excess.”

“And?” Obi-Wan asks. It’s all he can get out of his throat. It’s very clear what Anakin isn’t saying. That he used to think he’d live here with Obi-Wan. That they'd be--that they'd be.

“Now I understand that there’s no winning that argument. What one man sees as a waste, another might see as a treasure.”

Obi-Wan can’t do this. He thought--maybe he could--but. He can’t. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly, moving to stand on his feet. “I hate to leave, but I must attend to--”

Anakin scrambles to his feet and latches onto Obi-Wan’s covered wrist. “Do you?” he asks intently, his hold tightening. “Did you?”

“This--this is most inappropriate, Chosen Skywalker, please remove yourself from my person.”

Anakin, blast him, moves even closer. Obi-Wan wonders if he can hear his heartbeat from that far away or if it’s just in Obi-Wan’s ears. “You have to tell me,” he demands. He’s always demanded things from Obi-Wan. Stories, and kisses, and comfort, and promises. Obi-Wan had given him everything he’d asked for, up until the very end.

Unsurprisingly, nothing has changed.

“Tell you what,” Obi-Wan snaps, yanking his wrist away from Anakin’s touch. Even through the covering, his skin feels burned. “Tell you that I hated having to leave you? Tell you that I’ve thought about you every night since then? Tell you that there was a war, that I had to fight, that I didn’t choose to go? That I had a duty to the galaxy, to the Jedi, to my family?”

“You had a duty to me!” Anakin snarls back, squaring his shoulders and shoving forward into Obi-Wan’s space. “I was your soulmate and you left me and I waited and you never once called me, never once tried to visit! And then the war ended and you never came back!” His voice breaks and the flood of words Obi-Wan desperately does not want to hear breaks with it for just a second. “Why didn’t you come back? I don’t...I don’t care that you had to fight. I knew I couldn’t leave with you, not until I had freed my mom. But you just. You left.”

“I’m not the same man I was, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says softly. His voice shakes and he has to turn his head away from his soulmate’s watery blue eyes. “The war--it changed me. It hurt, to fight and kill and strategize on how to more effectively fight and kill the next day. Four years of that, and I knew at the end I wasn’t fit to be anyone’s soulmate, least of all yours.”

When Obi-Wan had first met him, Anakin had been laughing. His head had been tipped back, curls falling over his shoulders. The noise had been loud and honest. He’d been radiant in the Force. It had taken weeks for Obi-Wan to really believe something so bright could be the other half of his soul.

“I wanted to,” Obi-Wan whispers. “Every night I wanted to, and it only got harder after the war ended. I never stopped wanting to. Wanting you.”

“How am I supposed to believe you?” Anakin asks. Obi-Wan wants to ask him why it matters if he believes him or not, but Anakin’s words from earlier float back to him. They decided they didn’t want to stay with me, that they didn’t want me. He can’t let Anakin continue to think Obi-Wan didn’t want him, not when he wanted him so badly he ached from it.

With shaking fingers, he moves to pull down the collar of his robes, just far enough that he can pull out the japor snippet he’s worn around his neck since the day Anakin gave it to him. He slowly lifts it over his head and presents it to his soulmate. Anakin’s eyes are wide with wonder as he stares down at the necklace, worm almost smooth by how often Obi-Wan had rubbed the carving with his thumb. “Always, Anakin,” Obi-Wan murmurs, reaching out to grab Anakin’s hand and dropping the wood carving into his palm. He carefully folds the man’s lax fingers around the necklace.

Hating himself for doing it, but needing to do it anyway, he brushes his lips over his fingers in a ghost of a kiss. Beneath his mouth, the wedding band feels warm from Anakin’s body heat. It’s a shockingly cold reminder.

“May the Force bless you and your Chosen, and reunite you at every end of your every day,” Obi-Wan whispers the Council’s official blessings for newly-wed couples into Anakin’s skin.This is the last time he’s ever going to touch him. He doesn’t want to let go.

He must. He does.

[6sakusa]

‘worth more’ part 3, oikawa tōru.

a/n: im dedicating this part to @humanitysvertigo for motivating me to write & inspiring this piece with your song suggestion ‘like you do’

warnings: implications of toxic relationship, mild swearing, anGST, me not proof reading.

“you’re an idiot.” iwaizumi grabbed the setter by the collar in a brash attempt to knock some sense into him. more often than not he’d been constantly named as too aggressive for his own good but the ace knew exactly what oikawa needed in order to be brought to attention and there was no way in hell that he was about to let him get away with this.

“i’m not in the mood for this right now.” oikawa scoffed shoving off his bestfriend as he picked up another ball from the pantry preparing himself for another serve.

“i don’t care what you’re in the mood for, this isn’t good for you, how many times have i told you to cut this shit out.” iwaizumi launched towards the male, he was now raising his voice as he made reach for the ball. it was insane how much he would get riled up when it came to oikawa’s safety even though he hated to admit it.

“why are you like this.. you’re all like this, why are you trying to stop me? i need to get better, i need to do better, i need to—“ his words were cut off by a swiff headbutt from iwaizumi causing him to go crashing towards the ground.

“don’t you ever get tired of saying selfish shit.” it was obvious that anger was building up within the ace, but if you didn’t know him well enough you would miss how it was interlaced with pain and sadness. the sight of his bestfriend hurting himself took a toll on him too regardless of if he showed it or not and he couldn’t bare the sight of oikawa mistreating both you and himself. growing up together iwa found himself as the boys sole protector, as if he was his responsibility and now as the days grew longer it seemed as if the burden was almost getting to heavy to carry. the last thing he wanted was to have to walk away from the friendship because it was becoming too stressful and draining, no, because part of iwaizumi was oikawa and he couldn’t imagine his life without the selfish boy.

“don’t you wanna win? why do you play iwa? are you content with the participation awards? because i’m not.” the setter grit his teeth as he reflected back on his recent loss. the way the ball had hit the ground just a hair out of his reach, the way the score was so close and the taste of victory was almost on his tongue, the fact that it was their last try at going to nationals, the way it was his own kouhai who had beat him, the way he had disappointed iwaizumi above all. he had to make up for it, he had to make up for all of it.

“i play because it’s fun.” the ace shouted shoving him further into the ground. “i play because.. i like it, i like volleyball, and i like playing with you and the rest of the team, it’s made me who i am today.” his voice softened and he finally let go of his bestfriends collar, inhaling a deep breath as oikawa watched with wide eyes. “what does volleyball mean to you now? do you just want to be the best at what you do for something you don’t even find fun? look around, think about all the people you’re hurting.” he referred back to you.

“i’m doing this for you guys as much as i’m doing it for me—“

“no you’re not, we’re in our third year now, it’s done oikawa, it’s over.. there is no next game, there is no next tournament, there is no next time, and that’s okay because these past three years have been the best of my life, there’s nothing else i could have asked for, you’re the best partner anyone could ever want, my bestfriend and the best setter.” iwaizumi sighed collapsing backwards, hitting his own head as the words just kept tumbling out.

“really?” there was a newfound light in oikawas eyes, one that the ace much preferred in comparison to his gloomy figure that would always pop out when he was being much too harsh on himself.

“yes really, you are the best setter—“

“no.” oikawa cut him off unexpectedly. “really? i’m your bestfriend?”

“are you shitting me? you’re an idiot, who else would it be? we’ve been friends since we were kids.. stupid crappykawa.” he mumbled off at the end noting how sappy the setter had turned him.

“you have a way with words iwa-chan, or maybe you’ve just gone soft on me hm?” he joked around lifting the tense atmosphere off the two of them.

“and now you’re all smiling and shit? you were just depressed two minutes ago” iwaizumi clicked his tongue at the sight of his friend, he wondered how he was always able to switch his mood up so easily. sometimes he was envious of his ability to do so, he wanted nothing more than to turn off the nagging voice at the back of his head sometimes that would tell him—

“what can i say? i’m suddenly feeling inspired.” he looked up to the ceiling as if he was in some soft of romcom and iwaizumi scoffed at the sight of it. sometimes he wondered how he’d ended up with a bestfriend who was so cheesy.

“well good because aoba johsai isn’t the whole world, there’s a volleyball career waiting for you anywhere on this planet, but nothing everything is replaceable like that.” iwa successfully recaptured the setters attention with his last words.

“what do you mean?”

“y/n... she’s not replaceable but you treated her like shit today didn’t you? i saw her sitting out in the rain so don’t even try to deny it.” he gritted his teeth at the thought of it, the way your fingertips were icy cold, your warm tears juxstaposing the freezing rain, your clothes absolutely drenched and your catatonic state of pure silence as he walked you home. there was only one person who could be the cause of such pain, and he was standing in front of him now.

“the rain?” oikawa jumped to alert now, he knew he wasn’t in his right mind when he had spoke to you, all that was going through his head is that he was a burden that you needed to rid yourself from, but that didn’t mean he didn’t love you or didn’t care about you or could live without you.

“what did you say to her?”

“i said i didn’t need her..” his heart clenched as he recalled the events, how could he be so foolish? and then to let you sit out there while he was ignorant to the entire situation as he stood there selfishly serving the ball over and over again.. “i scared her.” he swore he was on the verge of tears as he forced out those words, nothing hurt more then seeing your eyes wash over from love to fear in the matter of seconds as he towered over you. and for what? all you were doing was trying to help.

“well why are you still standing asshole? go to her, i’ll clean your mess up.” the ace sighed staring at the vast amount of balls sprawled over the court.

“no i can clean it up, don’t wo—“

“shut up, go.” he was interrupted by iwaizumi who had his best interests in mind as he always did.

“i owe you one.”

“you always do.”

—

finally changing out of your drenched clothes you could barely bring yourself to move, you’d already turned down food and avoided questions when your parents had ask why you were practically dripping onto the floor. it was too much to even speak, it felt like a part of you was gone, someone you had planned your entire future with just didnt need you anymore in the blink of an eye. you were even reconsidering your university options just to be closer to oikawa and now he had tossed you away like a tired ragdoll. you had been warned about oikawa before, plenty of people named him a playboy, even his own bestfriend had warned you to stay away but something had left you so drawn to the male that it was unexplainable. it was a feeling that only those who had experienced it would know, it was true love, if soulmates existed you were sure he was yours and never in your life had the thought of even breaking up crossed your mind.

the two of you had gotten into heated arguments before and many times it would end with you in tears or him storming out but he always came back. why hasn’t he come back? was it truly over? were you just not enough for him? you knew how important volleyball was and you always supported him but you hated seeing him overwork himself. did that make you a bad person? maybe you were, maybe he was right and you weren’t being the supportive girlfriend you were meant to be, it was your fault, you should be better right?

“y/n?” your thoughts were interrupted by a sickeningly familar voice and you turned to see the very boy that you were just thinking about. there was no doubt now that fate existed, otherwise why did things always end up like this?

“what are you doing here?” you narrowed your eyes at the setter, scrambling to wipe the tears off your face. you hated looking weak more than anything but you couldn’t help the dent that the entire situation had left in your heart.

“iwa-chan told me what happened and your parents let me in, were you crying?” he moved closer towards you, watching as you tried your best to stifle your tears as if nothing happened. you knew it was a pathetic attempt, you really did, but you couldn’t help how badly you wanted to be strong. you flinched backwards, causing him to halt his movement as he was making his way to cup your cheek.

the sadness that washed over his eyes in that moment was almost unbearable for you to witness. of course it would pain him that you would flinch away from his hands like that, it looked as if you were afraid.

“w-what? why are you flinching? i would never hit you, i love you.” you hated the way you knew exactly when he was telling the truth and when he was lying, and right now tōru oikawa was being the most genuine that he had in a long time. one part of you wanted to pull away so badly, to tell him that he treated you like absolute shit, that he didn’t deserve you and to scream and shout at him to get out. but the other part of you, the stronger part, wanted nothing more than to revel in his embrace, for him to whisper sweet nothings in your ear and promise how he was going to marry you one day while he played with your ring finger reminding you over and over again how much he loved you, because no one loved you like he did.

“please.. say something y/n.” he clenched his jaw as you stared at him with empty eyes, he couldn’t bare the thought of knowing that he was the one who had done this. it was always him who had caused you pain and suffering and now he was wondering if he had made the right choice by coming here.. if he hadn’t you would get over him one day wouldn’t you? you’d probably find someone who loved you without the grief that he always provided, someone who made you happy without requirement, someone who could give you a life that he couldn’t. what he didn’t know was how much you wanted to tell him how no one else mattered to you and how you had felt this way since the moment you’d met him but your mouth wouldn’t say the words you wanted them to so badly.

“why.. why do you always do this to me.” your voice cracked and you couldn’t hold it in any longer, your eyes glossed over before tears spilt out uncontrollably. you moved to clutch your own body, burying your head in your knees as you cried your heart out to your boyfriend who immediately moved to embarace you. what shocked him is how cold you were to the touch, you were sure to get sick tonight so he would stay by your side the entire time if he had to.

“i don’t know.. all i know is how sorry i am.” he pulled you closer so that you were not facing his chest as he brushed the hair out of your face and rubbed your back soothingly. “i cant explain it y/n-chan, i mess up really badly sometimes and i don’t know why, all i know is that life isn’t the same without you in it, since i met you everything just seems brighter, like it’s all worth it.. no matter what i say to you i will always love you.”

you cried harder as you came to the realisation of how weak you were for him.

“you’re the only person i can’t bear to lose y/n-chan, you’re the most selfless person i know, please don’t ever walk out of my life, i’ll do better i promise.” a tear rolled down his own eye as he imagined how empty things would feel without you, he wondered where he would get the willpower to wake up everyday.

“you promise?” you looked up at him with tear stained eyes through those beautiful eyelashes of yours, and how could he not love you when you still looked so pretty even when you were crying over him.

“i promise.” he hugged you a little tighter, wanting to memorise this moment for everything that it is.

“then i’ll stay by your side forever tōru.” you smiled softly at the thought of the rest of your life with the boy you always intended to spend it with.

“and i’ll marry you one day y/n-chan.” that day you fell asleep in your boyfriends arms as he stroked your hair and coddled you with promises that you’d remember for decades.

what the two of you didn’t know was how iwaizumi sat in the gym, motionless with a pained expression on his face and a slow tear rolling down his cheek as he led the boy he’d loved since childhood right back into your arms as he always had. he even stayed cleaning up for the rest of the night before practicing how he would face the two of you in school the next day with a smile on his face. as long as his bestfriend was happy he told himself.

because oikawa was wrong about one thing, there was someone more selfless than you.

[coltsbitch]

spectrum ~ armin arlert x reader

armin arlert x reader; 3.2k words; fluff; soulmate au summary: he lights up your world, too bad you don’t realize until it’s too late.

masterlist

It truly is one of the most tragic realities of the world. Some say it’s that you don’t know who that person is until you lose them, others say that it’s losing your person and the vividness of the world in one swoop.

But if this person truly is your soulmate, wouldn’t the world be dull and grey without them anyway? Maybe that’s your sense confirming what your heart already knows.

You used to pester your parents with questions about this phenomenon.

“So how are you supposed to know they’re your soulmate.”

Your parents smiled at each other, “Well peanut, you’ll just have to let your heart guide you.”

“But what if you choose the wrong person? And don’t realize it until they die?”

“Then let yourself love freely and fully.”

You didn’t appreciate their roundabout answers, but with time you realized it’s because they didn’t have the answers. No one did. No one knows why all the color drains from your eyes as your soulmate’s life drains simultaneously. Only that it happens.

You often wonder which of your parents lost their color first as they were devoured by titans. Or if they even lost their color at all. Maybe there was some sad soul out there that blinked one day and suddenly saw in greys not knowing their soulmate was being eaten in a small southern town of Wall Maria, as their child watched.

You think that’s the worst fate. Not knowing who that soulmate was, just that they’re gone. At least if your beloved dies and you can’t see the green grass or blue sky, you’re comforted knowing you were each other’s greatest loves.

But why are you thinking about this at a time like now? As your knee deep in pig shit on the new queen’s farm?

“Sasha! The scraps are for the animals!”

Oh right. He’s why.

You glance up as Armin is trying to pull Sasha away from the bucket of table scraps meant for the pigs.

Armin had come into your life in the most unexpected way. Being that he knocked into you mid air during an ODM gear training. His momentum had caused you to lose your grip and fall, luckily landing on a tree branch instead of the ground twenty meters below.

He was able to readjust himself and land feet first on the branch, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t look which way I was going!”

You ignored his babbling apology, more concerned with trying to regain your breathing while clutching your leg that had taken the brunt of the impact. Rolling to onto your stomach you tried to rise to you knees, but the weight was too much, and you fell back down.

“Arlert! ___!” You both looked down to see Shadis below, “You’ll make a delicious snack if you keep this up! Now move!” He screamed, not even bothering to hear your replies before kicking his horse into a trot.

You blush now thinking about the way you brushed off Armin’s offer to help but instead pushed forward through the pain, lip bleeding by the time you laned from how hard you bit into it and leg throbbing from the movement.

Armin was able to find you later that evening in the infirmary, which you weren’t sure how he even knew you’d be there. None of your friends overlapped, and you were sure you didn’t stick out to anyone, so it’s not like someone would notice your absence from supper.

None the less Armin brought you a serving of the disgusting food that was passed of as a meal for the night, with an apology on his lips.

You expected it to be a one time thing, guilty for the mishap in training that day. But he stuck around. Finding you on free afternoons, asking you to partner up in trainings, small waves during mealtimes.

Your friends would tease you about him, comparing him to a lost puppy. You didn’t think much of it until his friends started with the comments. You would overhear your name being tossed around, glances your way, and Armin’s always face flushing a deep red.

But he never said anything to you, never acted differently than he always has. You chock it up to friendly teasing, probably what they do to each other all the time. But that doesn’t stop you from reading into his comments and touches deeper. Doesn’t stop you from imagining kisses and touches you could be sharing if he ever gave you such indication.

It goes on like this for the final years of training and all throughout your time in the Scouts together. You don’t mind though, it’s more than enough to be by his side as he tells you about his dreams and he listens to yours.

Maybe this is what your parents meant by love freely and fully.

“You should say something.”

You jump out of your skin and whip around to see Historia standing behind you, “What?”

Her eyes glance to where yours were recently transfixed, “Before it’s too late.” You shift uncomfortably, averting your eyes. You know about the morning Historia woke up to a world of gray. Everyone does, her cries were loudly heard throughout the farm.

“It’s not like that.” You answer.

“It doesn’t have to be to make it any less real.”

You glance back at Armin who has given up on controlling Sasha. He must feel your eyes because he looks up, smiling when he sees you’re looking.

Your heart flutters. How could it not?

But you don’t say anything. There’s too much happening. You can see how the stress is bearing down on his shoulders and under his eyes. He’s dragged into meeting after meeting with Commander Erwin and Captain Levi. Squad leader Hange picks his brain every free moment he has. He’s comforting Eren who’s still struggling to comprehend everything that’s happened.

So when you’re able to grab a minute alone with him after the sun has long gone down, you’re not going to add on to his problems with your feelings. The fact that he seeks you out at the end of the night to decompress is more than enough.

When this all over you tell yourself. You promise yourself. You’re going to tell him how you want to travel the world with him. You want to be by his side when he sees the sights he’s only read about. Wherever he goes, you’ll follow.

But now you’re wondering if either of you will ever see those sights. It all seems pretty hopeless.

There’s seven of you. No clue what’s happening on the other side of the wall, but it doesn’t sound good if the ricochet of loud bangs is anything to go by. But Armin comes through with a plan to stop Bertholdt, something you’re sure only he could think up.

But you should have known better when he pauses on the rooftop. The rest have already left to go after Reiner, where you should be joining them. But one last glance over your shoulder and you see Armin is already staring at you like he’s trying to drink in every detail about you.

“Armin?” You ask, wondering if he’s calculating something new, if he’s realized a flaw.

He looks like he has something to say. That look he gets before he’s about to dive into a long tangent, but he shakes his head of whatever that might be.

“I believe in you.” He says instead, before turning and jumping off the roof.

He doesn’t look back. You’re still standing watching him go. He’s too focused to look back, you think. But he knows he can’t bear to see your face again; it might break his resolve.

You find the others, and it’s a flurry of explosions and debris flying everywhere. Your heart is beating out of your chest as you and Jean divert Reiner’s attention. He flings part of a building at all of you, dust catching in your eyes even as you block it with your arm.

There’s a dizziness you feel when you see only one thunder spear lodged into his jaw. Your heart falls into your stomach. Part of you is saying there’s still hope, Mikasa can still make it, but there’s an overwhelming grief filling you for some reason.

You crash into a house, your leg taking the brunt of the impact. And suddenly your mind flashes back to when Armin knocked into you all those years ago. Why are you thinking of this now?

You look up to the colossal titan. It’s exhausting so much steam you can barely see the wall, let alone Eren or Armin. There’s a bang behind you and you turn to see Reiner exploding out of his titan. And then there’s an even louder sound and you watch as Bertholdt’s titan crashes into the wall.

We’ve done it, you think.

You have no fucking clue how it was all pulled off, but it’s happened.

Rising to your feet you jump down to where Hange is pressing their foot into Reiner’s chest, and they begin to hack off his limbs. You can’t watch, and turn your head to see Jean and Mikasa. Both are exhausted, but there’s a sense of relief in their eyes.

There’s still so much dust, and your eyes settle on Mikasa’s scarf. It looks like it’s covered in ash with how black it is. Jean too, he looks pale, too pale.

Your heart stutters.

You whip around to Hange again. The vibrant green of their cloak is dull and muted.

You choke on a gasp.

You look up at the sky. It doesn’t hold the vibrant blue from before. You had even noted how the sky was too clear and beautiful for what felt like such a somber day.

“I can’t, I can’t see.” You whisper. Your eyes are moving from place to place, trying to find a glimpse of color, but it’s all fading, and fast.

Mikasa is in front of you now, calling your name, but you don’t hear her. Can’t hear anything over the ringing in your ears.

I can’t see.

I can’t see.

I can’t see color.

“Armin!” You gasp, eyes meeting Mikasa, and her expression falls as fast as she hears his name leave you lips. She’s always been so perceptive. She knows instantly.

For what will be the only time in your life, you’re faster than her. Sprinting before catapulting yourself into the air and above the roof tops.

You can hear her calling behind, probably following behind, but you can’t stop, can’t slow down. Because there’s still a slight shine to the sky. It reminds you of his eyes.

You see the steam emitting from the decaying colossal titan and you know that’s where he is. Even if there hadn’t been that marker, it’s like your heart knows anyway.

You crash and roll onto the roof. There are more people than you expected there to be, but your eyes lock onto what you know is him.

You want to vomit. You almost do as the stench of burning flesh reach you. But you don’t.

Is it your eyes? Or is this how burnt his skin is?

Falling to your knees, you ignore the commotion behind you. Levi kicking a screaming Eren, Mikasa tackling Levi.

“Armin.” You whisper.

Your hands shake above him, unsure where too touch, if you even should. There’s a labored breathing coming from his body. You know that’s why this world still has the smallest ounce of color to it.

“Armin.” Tears are running down your cheeks. Did he know? Did he plan this? He hesitated earlier, like he wanted to say something. Did he know?

You never considered this as an outcome. Losing your color, losing your soulmate. You’re didn’t think there could be something worse than losing an unknown soulmate. You knew him. But he wasn’t yours. It’s the could of that hurts more.

You could have said something.

You could have been something.

You gently place a hand to his cheek. It’s so hot, too hot for a body. But if this is the only chance you have to cup his face the way you dreamed about, then so be it.

“I wish we could have figured it out sooner.” You whisper, “I think part of me always knew.” You wobble on your knees. “Did you know?”

Eren and Mikasa are desperate and can’t see what’s in front of their own eyes. But you know it’s impossible for your eyes to play a trick on you like this.

You sob, tears falling onto his face, immediately steaming away.

You want to lean down, to press your lips against his. You don’t care. You can ignore the smell. You can close your eyes. You can pretend that you’re kissing him at the sea he never shut up about. That was your plan in your daydreams.

The Scouts would retake the wall. They would clear out all the titans. And the second you’re truly outside the walls, seeing the sights he would wax on and on about, you would lean up and kiss him, tell him how your stomach flutters when he looks at you, how his words fill your heart.

But this would have to do.

And you would have, but instead your ripped away from his body.

“Stop!” You cry, fighting the person holding you, “We still have time!” You look up and see Jean is holding you against his chest, shooting a cable to the next building.

You wouldn’t even call the sky blue anymore. There’s not a drop of color you can see anywhere, but in your heart you know you had a few more seconds.

“Please!”

But it’s no use. You turn again to get one last glimpse of him alive while you can.

If only you had more time.

“We can still save him! He can eat me!” Eren is thrashing against the scout you don’t recognize, “There has to be enough left!”

You glance at everyone standing on the roof. No one is talking but Eren as he tries to persuade anyone who will listen. And then suddenly your heart is seized in a tight grip and you know he’s gone.

“Eren.” You mumble, “Shut up.” He looks at you with raw pain and anger in his eyes, but when he sees the tears tracks on your face, the sorrow in your eyes, it’s like he understands too.

Like everyone could see it so simply. Everyone but you.

You collapse, unable to stand any longer. It hurts unlike anything you’ve ever felt, can’t comprehend what you’re feeling.

The crackle of lightening fills your ear. What would colorless lightning look like? But you don’t want to see this. You don’t want to watch Bertholdt eaten. You wish this doesn’t have to happen, that none of this had ever happened.

There’s a collective gasp.

“Look.” You hear Jean say behind you. You follow his words, seeing the newly formed titan collapsing to the ground. But something is off about it, the hair too long and body too malnourished to be Erwin you think.

Cables shoot out and you see Levi flying towards Hanji, somebody thrown over his shoulder. But that doesn’t make sense. It’s not Armin, so it must be Erwin. But if that’s Erwin…

Mikasa and Eren are already flying to the ground.

You trip over yourself trying to follow, almost out of gas, leaving you to slide against the pavement when you tumble. You hear the others behind you, but your eyes are stuck on the person Eren is pulling out.

Everyone is crowding around, but you’re glued in your spot before his titan form. The color slowly seeps back into your world.

His golden hair returns first, blowing from the steam. His skin shining with sweat under the sun. You watch as each of you comrades fill with color, the world slowly returning to how you once knew it.

“Armin.”

It’s hours later by the time you can get a moment alone with him while he’s conscious. His nervous energy has him walking along the wall, you volunteered to go with, in case anything happens. But you’re not too concerned, early today you saw him burnt to a crisp and now he’s here beside you like nothing’s changed.

Like you didn’t have your whole world turned upside down and back again.

Armin sighs taking a seat on the edge of the wall. He’s looking out towards the destruction in Wall Maria. “It doesn’t seem like anyone else made it.”

You take a seat beside him, “No.”

“But I’m still here.” He mumbles to himself, “I still don’t understand why Captain made this choice.”

“Please.” You choke out.

Armin’s head shoots up from staring at the ground fifty meters below, surprised by the anguish in your voice.

“Please don’t think that this was the wrong choice.” You grab his hand, “That you being here is wrong.” Your eyes meet his, “Because I don’t think I could survive that.”

Armin is stunned by the conviction of your words, how absolute they must be to you. “___, you’d be okay. You’re stronger than you think.”

“Armin.” You’re exasperated, how does he still not understand? “When you were dying on that roof top,” He flinches at your bluntness, “I felt like I was drowning, and nothing could pull me out. Fuck, I mean my whole world was drowned out in darkness.”

A gasp escapes his mouth, “You don’t mean?”

You feel tears gathering in your eyes, “Please don’t ever make me feel that again.”

Armin searches your eyes, finally understanding. He doesn’t know how to answer, it’s impossible to answer, “I’ll try?”

You laugh at the awkwardness in his voice, and it lightens the thickness between you two.

“I feel like part of me has always known, at least hoped.” You continue shyly, “I promised myself I would tell you after we retook the wall.” You avert your eyes, “I’m just glad I still have the chance.”

“I umm, always wanted to say something. But I wasn’t sure.”

“Well, I know for sure now.” You give a small smile, squeezing his hand.

“Yeah.” Armin says breathlessly, “I guess you do.” His brow furrows a bit, an intense thought probably crossing his mind, “You think there’s any research out there about soulmates and near death experiences?”

You have to hold back a scoff at his always inquisitive mind. This is what he’s thinking about right now? “Armin?’ His focus returns to you, “Can I kiss you?”

Armin’s eyes widen to saucers, which is the most expressive reaction you’ve gotten from him yet. Is he that surprised? You just explained you were soulmates for fuck’s sake.

His mouth is open and closing as he tries to form a response, instead settling a brief nod.

You cup his cheek, softer than before, the perfect feel in your palm, and lean in pressing you lips to his. It’s a sweet kiss, sitting atop Wall Maria overlooking the vast land you both nearly died to reclaim. His hand is gripping yours tightly and you thread your fingers into his soft hair.

Armin pulls away, a faint blush staining his cheeks but eyes shining, “I’m so glad I decided to knock you out of the trees that day.”

You laugh at the memory that maybe in a roundabout way brought you here. And then his words click, “Wait, you did that on purpose?!”

[elleclairez]

Dating Kaz Brekker would include

Meeting each other :

You officially meet each other when Kaz becomes a member of the Dregs, which would mean that you were both around ten/eleven since he is a year older than you.

But in reality, Kaz met you way before. Before his life went down-hill. When he still knew what happiness meant. The first time he saw you was during his first days in Ketterdam when he and Jordie were living a happy life. The two brothers were walking down a street, cups of hot chocolate in hands when out of the blue, Kaz stopped in his tracks. He couldn't breathe, or a talk, let alone walk. Jordie even became worried until his eyes followed his brother's ones. Jordie understood what was happening the moment he saw you. A little girl in a beautiful dress, walking hand in hand with a woman that most probably your mother. Your smile, a grin from ear to ear could illuminate even the darkest street in all Ketterdam. Everything in you captivated Kaz, from your beautiful skin to your eyes, passing by your hair, nose... Slowly Kaz came out of his trance and pouted at his brother who was clearly laughing at him. But Jordie wasn't mocking him, he was happy for his brother and said "Grow up a little before and then fall for anyone you want. But seriously, she is cute." And then started chuckling again making little Kaz pouting even more. He might have been still a child, but even years later he will always think that since that day he understood what "love" meant. Even though Kaz was only nine, he knew that no matter who you were one day he will see you again.

And see you again, he did. But not the way he imagined. The second time he saw you again was a few weeks after his brother's death. Any trace of that innocent boy went away. But the same thing could be said about you. Any trace of happiness that could warm up any cold room disappeared.

Even after everything that he's been through Kaz could never get you out of his head. Weirdly enough, you were the second reason why he kept fighting to survive, well after getting revenge on Pekka Rollins obviously.

Imagine his surprise when he sees you one day on the docks of Ketterdam, hugging your mother. It took a few for Kaz to recognize you since you were so different that he remembered. You weren't physically different, no, but your smile, the trait that Kaz could never forget, well there was no trace of it. Instead, he saw your weeping eyes and your little arms hugging your mother. It would take years before Kaz finds out that the reason for this heartbreaking scene was that your mother had to go back to your home country, Ravka since as a powerful Grisha she had to fight for her country.

Hence why you had to stay with your grandfather, Per Haskell. Your mother didn't fully trust her father, but in her defense, at that time Haskell wasn't the horror that he became years later. And plus, it would always be better than to send you to your father, but that's a story for later.

Back to Dirtyhands, the young boy didn't even know you but seeing you cry and trembling of sadness made him want to protect you from the entire world. Something that he will actually do (or at least try to) in the future.

Now, let's go (finally) to the moment when you met. It was the same day Kaz joined the Dregs, he obviously already knew who you were but it didn't stop him from losing his ability to breathe when he saw you enter your grandfather's office so that he could introduce you to each other. Not that Haskell actually cared but he still did it since he was still a little a bit of a decent human being, at least for now.

Before the relationship :

Kaz and you connected right away. You were clearly opposites but it was fine for you. You balanced each other. You with your happy optimistic aura and him with his gloomy, sad one.

While Kaz trusted you with his life, he would never show it. Not until you admit to your feelings for each other at least. Not that he didn't want to be close to you but he chose not to. To protect you. To protect you from his demons, the danger that he could bring into your life. He knew you deserved better and he wanted that for you. He knew you could fend for yourself since you were an Inferni and the smartest person in the world (alongside him obviously) but he wanted you to get away from the Barrel as far as you could. He wanted you to go to University one day, travel the world, fall in love, have a family. He always told himself that would do anything for that to happen even if it meant not having you with him.

But you were having none of that. You showed him that you wanted him, as friends, lovers, you didn't care, you just wanted for you to be by each other's side.

So Kaz started to lower his guard, and at your fourteenth birthday, he finally admitted his feelings. You were so happy that you wanted to kiss him but knew you couldn't since you knew about his phobia and how it happened. You didn't' want to bring even more pain to him that he already feels every day. But Kaz thought otherwise and kissed you. The kiss was tender, short and awkward (since it was your and his first kiss) but it was the best kiss of your lives.

In the relationship :

Considering that you were a Haskell you were untouchable and yet somehow after becoming "Dirtyhands' girlfriend" it became even worse. Before the Dregs wouldn't get too close to you but now not even one soul in the Barell would even dare to even think about you. Because if they did that could definitely expect to get shot by a certain Sharshooter or get their troat slid by the Wraith or even worse get killed by Kaz himself and that I can assure you is definitely not a quick, painless death.

A year has passed since you started dating and you weren't known as "Per Haskell's heir" anymore but as "Kaz Brekker's partner" and any member of the Dregs were expected to be ready to die for you if the necessity came. But that wouldn't even be a problem since you were loved by everyone with your kindness but also sarcasm, humour and strength. No, you were nothing of a damsel in distress, you were a fighter, a powerful Inferni, but less cruel than the rest of the Barell.

Moving to the two of you. Outside of the safety of his (well yours since you basically lived there) room or floor to be exact, Kaz was cold as ice but you knew him well, or at least thought you did, then you'd be able to see small gestures that would show how much you mean to him.

First, they say our eyes are the mirror of our soul. Well, that saying is pro en true thanks to Kaz and you. During every meeting, every walk in the city, you could always feel Kaz watching you. Not in a creepy way, no, but in a caring way. Since he knows that he can't show any emotions in the streets, Kaz will always keep an eye on you, just to be sure that you wouldn't disappear or get hurt. Kaz would never forgive himself if something happened to you.

Secondly, since Kaz is actually a softie on the inside (you can fight me on that but I won't change my mind) he will always make sure that you stay next to him, preferably with on of his gloved hands on the small of your back or if can't do that he will put his cane in front of you. In some ways, that gesture calms him down because he knows that he could protect you if needed.

Next, Kaz will always try to keep you as far as he can from violence. You are one of the only ones in the Dregs that hasn't suffered too much in your life and he wants that to stay that way. So he'll make sure to always keep you safe but since you are a Haskell you'd have to actually go into action once in a while and when that happens you can bet that he or Inej or Jesper or Nina will be by your side to protect you.

Kaz doesn't really know how to show that he cares so he'll just be protective. Sometimes it would be a bit too much and you would even fight because of it (and trust me when you fight the entire Barell knows about it) but you know that he does that only out of love so you don't stay mad at him for too long.

Now let's move on to the other side of the relationship, in the safety of his/your room Kaz is a softie. Firstly you're the only one who knows about his past, how he moved from his farm with Jordie, how that lived their first weeks in Ketterdam but most importantly how he survived the Queen's Lady Plague. The first time he told you about his past you cried as if feeling the pain that he was feeling. Since that day you became as protective of him as he is of you. No, but really, someone says something too cruel about Kaz then they better run because an angry Inferni is on her way.

Being with him also means that he actually allows himself to relax around you. It does as far that he can beat skin to skin contact but too much either. But that small hugs, kisses that you share are cherished by the both of you so much since they show how much you care about each other and it shows him that he isn't alone.

Relationship with the others :

Jesper and you. To describe you shortly, you are plationic soulmates. The two of you are so alike but so different at the same time. Your sense of humour is what actually made you grow closer and since that day you've inseparable. If one goes somewhere you can without a doubt expect the other one to follow, no matter how stupid the idea of the first one is.

Nina and you. You consider each other best friends or even more than that. In fact you are so close that while Kaz isn't jealous of your relationship with Jesper, he is constantly afraid that the Heatender would steal you from him. Funilly enough Nina has made a habit to always flirt with you whenever you see each other only to get on Kaz's nerves. Something that neither Matthias or Kaz are keen on since the two males both know what a power couple you two would be, just imagine a Heartender and an Inferni together, well even the Darkling would have been afraid. Not that any of the two would actually admit it.

Wylan is like a baby brother to you. You would always protect from anyone, would it be an unknown treat, Van Eck or even someone from the Dregs. Well maybe not the Dregs since they all know not to get on your bad side. The merchling saw you as a sister too. If he needed advice or help it's you that he would go to. You understood each other so well that people started to actually believe you were related. The only thing that always confused the boy was such a nice person like you ended falling from someone as grumpy as Kaz.

Matthias and you have a complex relationship. On one hand he felt obligated to hate you, you were a Grisha and the fact that you were with the "Demjin" didn't help your case. But with time he learned to respect you and considered you as his friend till the day he died. I mean you could not like you, you were nice and smart and beautiful (not that physical appearance matters but still). In fact Matthias cared fro you so much (platonically of course) that he even threatened Kaz that if the man ever hurt you then the Fjerdan would find a way to destroy. A threat that all the Dregs agreed to and even Kaz responded by saying that if he ever hurt you he wouldn't fight back.

To describe in one word yours and Inej's relationship you could use the word complicated. You respect each other and care for each other. You even consider each other friends, especially since Inej found out that you are the one who convinced your grandfather to pay off her debts to Tante Heleen. And yet you still have a weird relationship, especially because of. certain kerch boy. As much as you trust both of them you cannot deny that you are not fearful that one day Kaz might develop such strong feelings for the Wraith that he might leave you. But then again you two are strong and independent women so not man will in between your friendship and that is why at least once a week you can be found along with Nina and Inej eating waffles at your favourite place.

[djemsostylist]

Of Queens and Trash

Here’s the thing. SCK has been on a downward trend since 13. The breakup was long, getting together again was tiring, the amnesia plot was poorly handled and the mess that came following his recovery was, well, a mess. The necessary break for covid gave us a chance for a fresh start for Edser. All the bad stuff in the past, and a focus in the last episodes of them being able to finally fulfill all the promises they had not been able to. After all, this was a story that, at its core, was about two people who met and fell in love and who, no matter what, chose to be together. Invisible handcuffs. And with the return of the OG writer, it seemed we might finally get that. After 39 episodes of angst and only 7(?) of real togetherness, surely it was time? Forget the pain of the past, and start with Edser navigating their world together.

And then the trailer dropped. And all of a sudden, all the people who had spent months eviscerating Serkan for behaving badly in the 30s were celebrating this new plot, the “great angst” and Eda “being a Queen.”

For me, I can’t get over the hiding of the child. It's a hardline deal breaker. I don’t think it matters who writes it, I think it's an awful plotline. No matter how "good" the trailer looks or moments seem, I will remember that I was watching a show about two people who loved each other and never wanted to be apart, about a man who learned how to open his heart, and this ruined it all.

Now, I think it's worth noting that my hard line, in this particular case, is in response to Edser, if that makes sense. I’m not hardline, “if this is in a story I’m not watching”. If it works for the characters and story because that is the type of story being told, then fine.

I don't subscribe to the woke feminism brand of "all women are Queens and all men are Trash" which seems to be a trend of late (and not just in fandom). I think people are people and people are generally imperfect but also trying. I don’t think women, simply by virtue of carrying a child, get full say in what happens to the child, regardless of the father’s wishes. I'm not fond of a “hiding a kid storyline”, and while I get the whole "my body my choice" style of arguing, it took two people to make the baby. Two people get a say in what happens. I get you are growing the kid, but you didn't spontaneously conceive.

For me, Edser being apart and/or hiding a kid is a hardline. It doesn't fit with the characters as I know them and it doesn't fit with the storyline. And look--I hated the amnesia plot. I thought there were a literal million ways this could have been done better, but it's what we got. So for everyone suddenly defending this new plot, despite it making about as much sense as Eda getting married to make Serkan remember her, then that means everything goes. No blaming writers or ignoring canon...everything has context and meaning now. And since “it's realistic” is also a common refrain, then fine. Let’s go realistic.

Imagine being in a plane crash. You wake up, you have clear physical/mental blocks. For someone who likes to be in control, that's terrifying. You have a ring on your finger with a woman's name you don't know, and an entire year missing. You call the one person you know will come (since your parents and friends are useless) and she comes and tells you a story that jives. You can't remember shit and you keep getting flashes and your hands won't work, so you take what she tells you, because why would you have any reason to doubt? It’s not like you can remember anyway, and trying to remember hurts.

You finally go back home, and you recognize nothing about your own life. Friends, family...everything is different. Your mom is out, your dad is gone, your best friends are married. You don't even live in the same house, you have people working in your company you don’t know--even your dog is gone. And then you have a hysterical woman throwing pictures in your face of a man you don't recognize and your brain is still foggy and all your friends and family seem to be shrugging their shoulders at you.

You're terrified and alone and all you get is some vagueness about an epic love story and too much emotion and all you want to do is hide. From everything. Plus your heart is doing this thing every time the girl is near and you think you might be dying maybe and remember how your brother died?

So, the girl kisses you, you literally feel like you might be dying, and it's like naw. Fuck this. I'm getting back an ounce of control. So you propose to Selin. I mean you don’t love her and you barely want her but at least she is the same. At least she hasn’t changed, and at least she doesn’t stare at you with the weight of a million expectations that everyone else does. At least she doesn’t look at you and hope to see a man you can’t ever remember being.

But then the girl everyone claims is your soulmate is suddenly engaged to another man, and spends every moment after that claiming she hates you, she is over you, she is better off/happier without you, doesn't need you.

So it's like, okay, what is the truth. Your brain isn't helping, your friends aren't helping, she isn't helping. So you lash out, you close off, because really, what else is left. Your life isn’t your life, your mind isn’t your mind, you can’t even figure out what’s real and what isn’t. And she’s getting married and you want to die but she’s getting married and surely if she loved you she wouldn’t be doing this?

And then you get your memories back. Finally. Everything comes flooding back ,and it's a lot. You cope in shitty ways, you don't respond well, etc. You’ve returned from the dead twice, and everything feels just slightly off, but maybe you can make this work. At least you have her. After a few days, you’re feeling like your old self. You've got your memories, your girl, the possibility of the future you had snatched twice, and then BOOM. She rejects you, out of nowhere.

Won't talk, won't communicate, you have no idea what the fuck is happening. She’s crying and sad but also not leaving but also not staying and your brain can’t quite work things out but all you can do is promise that you love her, only her, always her, forever. Surely she must know that by now, right?

And then she tells you about the baby. You can't remember the sex of course, but then you find out it probably happened while your brain was fucked, and you barely have time to process this before oh yeah the love of your life is leaving you bc she would rather you raise a baby with your rapist. And suddenly you might be dying, again.

But you stop her. You stop her and even though she says she didn’t come back for you, why else would she have stayed? So, you finally get her back, she tattoos you on her finger and maybe just maybe everything will be fine when BOOM. Cancer. You aren't even over the other shit, and you have a fucking tumor. You are 30 years old, you've survived a plane crash, amnesia, and now you have a tumor. How many times can a person die?

And so you don’t cope well. You withdraw, you back away. Your brother died when he was young, you know what that does to a person. You know what it did to your family. You have this fear that curls around your heart that says “but what if she becomes my mother.” And she goes. She leaves and she takes your heart and your child (that you don’t even know about) and it’s like...fuck. Again. Because everyone leaves you, eventually. And somehow, it’s always your fault.

So, what I'm saying is, Eda endured a lot, sure. She was hurt. Their breakup in 14 was hard and I’m not denying that (although there is another post I could write about how since Eda never actually uses her words to tell him how she feels he can, perhaps, be understood in assuming that breaking up after barely being together would hurt but also that she would move on and live her life happily without him. Which I guess season 2 proves…) Losing Serkan to an accident/amnesia was hard, looking at the body of the man she loves but not seeing the man she loves must have been agony. But Serkan was fucking wrecked. So instead of choosing to write a plot where they both get to heal, where they both get to explore their pain and work through it together, we get Serkan who reverted to being a robot to cope with massive trauma and PTSD, and essentially is abandoned by everyone, again.

I guess what I'm saying is, if staying with him and supporting him when he was dealing with trauma was too much for her, then fine.That is very true for some people, and it’s certainly realistic. But I don't really think that jives with Eda and her character, and while it isn't a trauma competition, I'd still think Serkan comes out a winner here. Eda lost her parents, which was awful. She lost him, but she got him back. Twice. His trauma is losing his brother, being abandoned by his parents, a plane crash, amnesia, emotional manipulation/abuse and cancer. And then he gets punished by having his daughter taken away from him because he was having a hard time coping. Keeping a kid a secret isn't "protecting the child" it's punishing the father.

Tl;dr The direction they have taken the characters is gross for both mains, but if people are trying to justify Eda keeping his child from him because “he deserves it” or “she did what was best for her” then I think we maybe haven’t been watching the same show. Even if he said “I don’t want kids,” saying that to a hypothetical child is very different then being told “a baby is very much our reality.” Because that's the crux right? It's not that he decided he just didn't want to be a father ever, he's scared of having a family and losing them or of them losing him. And then she made that very fear be realized. Which is tragic and quite the opposite of what his life partner needed to do in that situation.

Bitte.

Thanks to @lolo-deli for the proofread and the final lines, you are the best. And for putting up with my uncontrollable ranting about this for days.

[fandom-monium]

In Your Eyes - Episode 1

Soulmates - Heterochromatic Eyes AU: In which the soulmate system isn’t everything it seems and Shouto could be the only one who sees it.

Tags/Warnings: soulmate AU, friends to enemies to friends to lovers trope, Shouto Todoroki x GenderNeutral!Reader

AN: Fuck you, Tumblr, for glitching out my entire masterlist and every piece of work I’ve made over the years. Here’s the reupload. I hope the new gen enjoys this, and if you’re an old reader who liked my works in the past, I hope you enjoy the nostalgia?

A soulmate is a person who is ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. Your other half, the person that completed you, made you better, and understood you like no one else. It’s rare to find your soulmate. There’s billions of people in this world, so what’s the possibility you’d find yours?

The chances are you won’t. Although, it’s not impossible. There’s people who have had significant others even without finding their fated other half, but the yearning to find their soulmate has never faded.

Centuries ago, the gods were fed up by the pain put on mankind often caused by futile searches. One god and/or goddess (because we don’t discriminate) in particular decided to deal with the problem.

Thus, heterochromatic eyes became the solution. At birth, people receive two different colored eyes, the right yours and the other your soulmate’s. Upon meeting your soulmate’s eyes for the first time, your soulmate eye will return so that your eyes will match. The god made this system to assist mankind with finding their soulmate. To find true love. To find happiness.

However, that was a matter of opinion.

Todoroki Shouto doesn’t know about soulmates till he is 5. His mother is in the midst of comforting him again after a rather intense training session with his father. His small, beaten body curls at his mother’s lap. He sobs in pain and fear, tears staining her pants. She doesn’t mind. She’s more focused on trying to comfort her youngest son. Shouto’s mother presses her lips together, trying to contain her own tears, trying to be strong for him.

“I hate him, Mommy,” Shouto hiccups. It wracks his whole body. “I don’t want to be like him.”

It’s not unusual for his mother and him to end up like this, Shouto at his mother’s lap and her comforting him. It’s become a routine since he started training. But this time seems to last longer than most. The same comfort routine doesn’t work. He still cries and he hugs his mother close, burying his face into her stomach.

Shouto’s mother doesn’t know what to do but tries to stay calm. She pats his back softly, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. How else can she comfort her child?

Then she gets an idea.

“Shouto, have I ever told you about soulmates?” Shouto’s mother asks gently. She’s afraid a single word might shatter the boy.

For a second, Shouto pauses, his arms still wrapped around her waist. She takes it as a sign to continue.

“Do you know what soulmates are?”

He shakes his head into her stomach.

“Well, come out and I’ll tell you.”

And it works. Miraculously, Shouto stops crying and the tears are left forgotten. Instead he watches his mother, mesmerized as she tells him how their world works, of soulmates and how they would bring each other happiness, and fairy tales involving searches for soulmates, fights about soulmates, and other interesting tales.

The idea of happiness gives Shouto hope. He doesn’t notice as his mother gives him a strained smile.

After all, they are just fairy tales, and only fairy tales have a happy ending.

……..

Todoroki Shouto is 6 when he realizes he might not have a soulmate. It happens late at night when he wakes up to go to the bathroom. Once he finishes washing his hands, Shouto stares into his eyes on the bathroom mirror. He smiles tiredly. He’s still hopeful that he’ll one day meet his soulmate. Then he remembers his mother’s words.

“People are born with heterochromatic eyes, that means different colored eyes. The right eye’s their own eye color and the other their soulmate’s. And when they meet their soulmate’s eyes for the first time, their soulmate eyes will switch so that they become the same color.” His eyes widen in shock and his smile drops.

Between training with his father and being with his mother, he never took the time to notice his eyes. They aren’t different colors. They are the same.

At this, he rushes out of the bathroom to search for his mother. Why are his eyes the same color? Did he meet his soulmate already? Or did his mother make a mistake?

Shouto finds his mother in the kitchen. She’s talking on the phone, and he waits at the door to see if she’ll end the call. Her voice trembles as she speaks, “Mom, I know it’s not right, but I can’t do it anymore. They’re like him more and more everyday. And Shouto,” This catches his attention. “His left side, sometimes I look at him and hate what I see.”

What?

His mother’s figure shakes, closer to her breaking point. “I can’t raise him anymore. I shouldn’t raise him.”

“Mommy?” Shouto calls out.

His mother jolts in surprise before turning to him, her eyes dilated.

She’s not the same is his last thought, and he realizes his mistake.

Then everything burns, and Shouto doesn’t get the chance to ask about his eyes.

……..

Todoroki Shouto is forced to grow up when he concludes that soulmates are a hindrance. A pain. Up till the young age of 6, he only knew that soulmates were supposed to make each other happy. That’s what his mother tells him. He believes her.

Shouto was so focused on imagining his soulmate that he never thought to ask. If Father was her soulmate, why wasn’t she happy with him?

It isn’t until his mother is taken away when he realizes how broken the soulmate system is. Shouto despises it. Loathes it. He hates it almost as much as he hates his father. He remembers his mother every time he reminds himself why. He thinks about people like his mother who are stuck with people like his father, thinks about people who don’t want their soulmate, and people who choose someone else over their soulmate.

Shouto thinks about how there’s no choice. How happiness is not guaranteed.

Shouto knows that it doesn’t apply to everyone. There are many people who happily live with their soulmate. But he can’t help feeling jealous for those who are lucky enough to be matched with good people. People who can make each other happy.

……..

Todoroki Shouto is 10 when he accepts that he doesn’t have a soulmate. Since his mother was taken, he doesn’t think about soulmates a lot. He’s endured 4-5 years of training with his father. Forgotten what it feels like to be comforted by a mother. His brothers and especially his sister, Fuyumi, do what they can for him, but it’s not the same. Because of his father, Shouto is mostly separated from them. His father went so far as to put him in a different, more prestigious school in order to achieve his goal.

In his darkest times when only silence is there for him, Shouto tries to distract himself. Whether with training or something else productive to keep his mind occupied. He doesn’t care. He can’t stand doing nothing. He dislikes when he daydreams. He’s afraid it might give him false hope. But sometimes he stares in the mirror and finds himself wondering about his soulmate. What would it be like to meet them? Would they think his scar is ugly? Maybe-

Then Shouto looks at his eyes and remembers. They’re not heterochromatic. Not like his brothers’ or sister’s or everyone else in the world. They’re the same color. But strangely, his eyes aren’t the same color as his parents. Not a warm gray like his mother’s or a cold blue like his father’s. That part leaves him curious. None of his closest relatives have (eye color) eyes either as far as he knows.

When his brothers are out (if they’re around, they’ll tease him till he freezes them) and it’s only his sister at home, Shouto finally asks about his eyes and what they mean.

“Why are they the same color?”

Fuyumi’s eyes widen and she nearly drops the dish she’s washing. “What?”

“Why are my eyes the same color? Shouto asks again, a bit impatiently. He’s wanted a reasonable answer since he was younger. Fuyumi is smart. He figures she could at least give him one.

“I didn’t think you even cared about soulmates,” Fuyumi stops what she’s doing, turning to give him her full attention. “Why the sudden interest?”

“It’s clear that I haven’t met my soulmate, yet my eyes are both (eye color). M-” Shouto catches himself before he continues. “-I was told that everyone is born with heterochromatic eyes till they meet their soulmate. So… why?”

For a moment, Fuyumi stares at him in surprise. She’s never seen Shouto show interest in anything else except maybe training or studying. She asks, “Shouto, what do you know about soulmates?”

Shouto blinks, more impatient now that she’s answered his question with a question. “I know that everyone is born with heterochromatic eyes till they meet their soulmate, and when you meet them your eye color switches so they become the same,” he states robotically. He doesn’t add that they supposedly bring each other happiness.

He knows that’s not true.

“Well, not exactly. Not everyone is born with heterochromatic eyes,” Fuyumi answers. “It’s true that most are born with them, but there are the rare few who aren’t. I don’t know much, but I’ve heard that those who aren’t born with heterochromatic eyes don’t have soulmates. In my opinion, I think it’s a sign. A sign that they aren’t tied down by the soulmate system, by the gods, or the universe. A sign they’re free to make their own choice.”

Shouto says nothing. Then he thanks his older sister for her answer and leaves silently, contemplating.

Shouto doesn’t worry about his eyes after that. He used to when he was younger. He would fret about not having a soulmate. Now he feels slightly relieved.

He isn’t tied down to someone he might not even like.

……..

Todoroki Shouto is now 16 and has long forgotten about soulmates. Well, not entirely. He knows they exist and knows the soulmate system is broken, but he stops caring. Enduring 10-11 years of training with his father, Shouto is completely focused on rebelling against him and surpassing All Might. Nothing more, nothing less.

When he first becomes acquainted with his classmates, one of the first questions he gets is, why are your eyes the same color? Or, you met your soulmate already? His classmates aren’t the first to ask this personal question. Many others have asked. He gives the same answer every time.

“I don’t have one.”

The reaction varies depending on the person, but he’s used to it. People like Yaoyorozu Momo and Kirishima Eijiro politely apologize for prying. People like Uraraka Ochako and Midoriya Izuku nod in understanding, minding their own business. Then people like Bakugou Katsuki and Minoru Mineta have the audacity to laugh in his face because even they have soulmates.

(Shouto pities whoever’s stuck with them. He wonders how their soulmates could tolerate those two.)

Shouto isn’t mad or anything. His expression remains neutral, unfazed. None of that bothers him. Not anymore. Most are naturally curious and polite about it. He shouldn’t be angry at them. But when he sees the pity in their eyes, it makes him want to give frostbite and third degree burns as a reply instead.

He doesn’t need pity. He doesn’t need a soulmate. He’s done just fine on his own.

However, the topic of soulmates is popular. Unavoidable. Other Yuuei students, mostly girls for some reason, come up and ask him if he’s met his soulmate because of his eyes. He gives them the same answer.

“I don’t have one,” he replies.

“I don’t have one,” he clenches his fist.

“I don’t have one,” he says through gritted teeth.

Shouto gets tired of it and eventually stops answering the question. He hopes someone would spread a rumor or something for him.

Shouto sits at the lunch table eating his cold Soba with his friends. The word soulmate pops up again and he sighs, blocking out the conversation. Why is everyone so obsessed with soulmates? Can’t they see that the soulmate system wasn’t everything to life? He glances at his friends. They chatter amongst themselves as they talk about their soulmates and such. Then he looks away and focuses on eating his Soba.

They don’t mean to exclude him from the conversation. He knows that. They’re just trying to spare his feelings.

Shouto is surrounded by his friends and classmates, but he can’t help feel lonely.

……..

Todoroki Shouto is still 16 when he finally encounters his soulmate. He doesn’t know it but he does. It’s just before the Hero License Acquisition Exam. Class 1-A arrives at the national stadium in Takoba where they’ll be taking the exam, the atmosphere thick with teenage anxiety. It’s clear the students are nervous, but it fades into resolve as Aizawa finishes giving them a pep talk.

“Awesome. c'mon everybody, let’s go hatch into chicks!” Kirishima cheers, “Let’s hit out of the park like always!”

His loud, ecstatic voice catches the attention of others.

“Say it with me now, Plus…” No one notices the broad figure coming up behind him. “Ultra!”

“ULTRA!”

Everyone flinches in surprise before they turn to see a tall boy with a buzz cut standing behind Kirishima. The boy grins widely, adorning a school uniform and a signature cap.

Seeing his face, Shouto feels a spark of recognition but doesn’t react. He assumes he’ll remember him at some point.

“Don’t go crashing the circles of outsiders without invitation, Inasa,” a boy behind Inasa scolds.

“Ah, you’re right, please accept-” Inasa leans back “-my sincerest-” and throws himself forward. His skulls meets the ground with a crack. “-apologies!”

This guy is doing the lowest bow Shouto has ever seen. He doesn’t like it. It reminds him of Iida and Kirishima combined.

The chatter among the surrounding students increase as they realize that the students before Yuuei are Shiketsu Academy freshman.

“I’ve always wanted to say it at least once! ‘Plus Ultra’! I love Yuuei Academy! ” Inasa exclaims politely, standing again. “It’s such a pleasure, the highest honor, to be able to compete against Yuuei!”

“Ah, you’re bleeding,” a Shiketsu girl notes as the scrapes on his forehead well with blood, trickling down his face.

“Let’s go,” The boy who scolded Inasa begins walking to the stadium entrance. They follow without complaint.

Shouto hears from Midoriya that Inasa had the top qualification for the recommended spots, but he stops listening. Instead, he watches Inasa, his back turned to them now. Why does his face seem so familiar? He can’t remember and it annoys him.

Then someone walks up to Inasa in the same uniform as the rest of Shiketsu Academy.

Something about you pulls at Shouto’s heartstrings almost painfully. His eyes widen, pupils dilating.

Walking up to Inasa, your voice is calm as you begin to scold him. “Inasa, you should be more careful. I get you’re hot-blooded and all, but you need to chill. You get hurt over the littlest things.” You sigh, pulling out bandages and antiseptic from your bag. You begin to tend to his wounds before reaching the stadium.

“Sorry, (Last Name)-san. I’ll try to be more careful,” Inasa promises. He pats your head, grinning wider.

You swat his hand away and frown. “Don’t try. You will be more careful and stop being so extra all the time. Seriously, I can’t keep patching you up for dumb things like bowing.”

Your eyes don’t meet. Hell, you didn’t even look at him, but the way his heart pounds like a drum says it all.  Heat creeps up his neck slowly. His heartstrings feel like they’re being pulled and he almost groans as his chest aches, but it’s unlike any time he’s been injured. It’s more urgent.

Shouto decides he doesn’t like you.

So, I decided to try my hand at the downside of the soulmate system (because I’m tired of the bright side). Hope you enjoy the first episode of my soulmate au.

Splitting it into a few parts, not gonna be long though. May become a mini series? 

Episode 2 available in Masterlist

Got any requests or suggestions? Ask box is open.